#it’s a coping mechanism for many people

[yawnderu]

your post about people mischaracterizing call of duty chars is kinda giving misogyny. i don't support noncon but seriously you act like men being mischaracterized in comfort fics is some kind of hate crime. they're fictional characters that spread military propaganda and kill people.

the fictional man is not oppressed bro. it rubs me the wrong way how many of u focus on berating female fanfic writers. focus on the fact that nearly every female character since the beginning of time (especially underaged ones) has been sexualized by men to the point of having their personality erased, features changed, actors harassed. especially female characters with strict storylines of trauma and family issues and mental health right in the source material. you have to read wikis and shit to even find out about ghost's trauma (besides the grief) and there are fics posted every day of trauma comfort, accurate portrayals of his ptsd, cute 141 friendships etc. can you name a single time a woman has been written with that much care by a straight cis male fanfic writer? i can't. i promise a "tiktok girl" mischaracterizing ghost isn't the end of the world.

don't even say "they're both bad" as a copout or mention how ghost has ptsd or something and would never mistreat a woman. like bro, i agree, but the people writing noncon of him are 99% of the time REAL women who are also sa victims, likely to a man. which btw, ptsd never stopped men from being the majority of sa perpetrators, but that's beside the point.

yes it's inaccurate when sum1 writes konig like a baby or ghost as a sex god. yes, some tropes r problematic. but let's not act like our "accurate" writing is realistic. in a group of men like the task force (especially knowing how military men are) i highly doubt even half of them would be respectful, open to love, loyal, good politics, etc. yet we all write them like husband material. because it's cope for the real world.

throwing real women's coping mechanisms under the bus in favor of fictional men will always be weird, sorry.

>The effort it takes to do the mental gymnastics of seeing anything in my posts from when I first made this account where female writers are NEVER mentioned is so weird. Some of my most popular works are noncon, and as a victim of rape and CSA/SA who has changed her views on writing that type of content and most of the stuff in those posts, I sort of get what you mean, despite the weird rant in anon.

Please remember that anything you read in here are just words baby, they shouldn't disrupt your soul this much. 😭😭😭

[city-m0rgue]

“angel doesn’t need a relationship, he needs a friend !”

some people are complaining about the fact that Husk said that Angel was correct in saying his life was wrecked. these people don’t have brains.

all angel has been told is to be okay. he needed somebody to tel him that they see that he’s not okay because he clearly struggles with his own feelings and identifying them on his own.

by saying that he knows Angel isn’t okay, Husk essentially brings Angel back down to earth. when somebody with as much trauma and as many mental issues as Angel is experiencing, especially with that episode / crisis he was having at the time of the song, they would need somebody to tell them that they are seen, that they aren’t crazy. they need to know that’s it’s okay to not be okay.

not to mention the fact that husk clearly needed it too, as he’s essentially shut himself off from all emotion and pushed away anybody in fear of getting hurt. he’s accepted that he’ll be at a constant low, and he needed to feel like there were others there with him, that he was seen as well.

when all they’re told is that they’re okay it feels like dismissal. it feels like belittlement. but when they’re told that they are seen and accepted regardless or their issues , it feels like relief.

to Angel , it feels like he isn’t required to keep up his fake persona. he’s not required to advertise the porn star lifestyle. he’s able to be Anthony. he’s not forced to be anybody but his true , authentic self and he doesn’t need to apologize for it.

he’s been trapped in a world where he needs to be okay constantly. he’s not allowed to let his guard down or he’ll get hurt. he’s not allowed to be in pain.

to Husk , it feels like someone finally understands his struggles. his pains. his addiction , his complications with selling his soul. he feels like he is finally not alone. not to mention the relief he most likely felt after seeing who Anthony truly was. his boundaries are no longer being ignored. he’s able to have insight into his life and see the similarities between himself and Anthony.

they understand each other on a level that others don’t. and even if others understand it , whether it be Charlie seeing their pain or addiction from the outside , or Cherri experiencing addiction and unhealthy coping mechanisms first hand , they aren’t able to have a heart to heart.

Charlie can’t because she hasn’t experienced it.

Cherri isn’t ready to give up the life because it is all that she knows. she hasn’t accepted that she needs to get better , therefore she can’t exactly help Angel cope

Husk has both experienced it and knows how to cope due to lots of self reflection , not to mention seeing others in states of vulnerability.

they’re unapologetically able to be themselves in a safe environment. that’s the whole point of the song , and if you can’t see that , that’s on you.

[goodluckclove]

An Open Letter to a Professional Author

I came across a writer here who I imagine will probably never see this, but their presence was enough to make me pretty mad for two days now. I've decided to pen a little statement to this Long-Term, Professional, Full-Time, Published Author who makes a habit out of being deeply unpleasant in a way that apparently has only attracted an audience of other deeply unpleasant people.

People here seem to like it when I get mad. So, uh, enjoy?

Dear Professional Author,

I came across a post of yours on some feed here the other day and enjoyed your commentary. It was one of those writing memes that sort of called attention to actually writing as opposed to just thinking about your project - the kind that people usually respond to with some sort of joke expressing their repulsion at the concept.

You responded with distaste and I generally agreed. The tone was a little aggressive for me, but that kind of humor also leaves me generally confused. I personally ended up concluding that the self-deprecating humor was a coping mechanism for a larger issue that keeps these people from writing - intimidation, lack of confidence, physical or mental pain, things like that. You seemed to think it was a matter of will, which I found to be an approach that at the very least was well-intentioned.

Turns out it wasn't.

First off, I should say that this isn't about your political beliefs. Your political beliefs that are really more like general human beliefs. I don't want to get into that. Instead, I just want to talk about your writing. You are a full-time, published author, as you say in nearly post where you talk about writing. A major point of pride to you seems to be the fact that you are traditionally published. Any other method doesn't seem to be as legitimate to you. That's interesting to me.

You also don't seem to have much of an audience outside of people who mainly come to agree with your politics. I didn't really see a single positive interaction between you and another writer on here for as much as I was willing to scroll through your blog. That's also interesting to me.

I didn't spent too much time on your blog once I realized that you were definitely not the kind of person I would ever want any interaction with. What I did want to do is use your presence indirectly to prove a point that I've been wanting to get into for some time now.

To put it simply, I'll say this: a career in professional writing is not actually as cool or important as you might think it is.

Now I'll be direct and say that I've never been traditionally published for anything longer than a short story or long-term, unpaid column. You don't give any details on any of your writing, as far as I've seen (Once again - interesting!), so there's a chance you've made more in contracts and royalties than I have. But I'm a working writer. I've had a career in ghostwriting and technical writing. I've written and produced plays that have been featured in festivals in multiple states. I'm not speaking from a place of no experience, is what I mean to say.

What I also mean to say is that - while I view writing in many ways as a spiritual and healing act that I couldn't live without - it's also a job. It's not always exciting, and even when it is exciting it's only exciting to me. I consider the best date night to be when my wife works on video game development while I write my draft. I leave the house on a regular basis, but it's mainly to go to different places to write.

In short - I love to write, but I don't think it makes me cool. Or interesting. Or valuable. Or intelligent. Or just generally fun to be around and talk to. These are things I strive to cultivate in other aspects of the way I live and grow as a human being on this planet.

Being a Professional Author in one particular genre doesn't give you authority over the craft as a whole. You can't just throw yourself into conversations and start with I'm a published writer and assume that means you have the final say on any discussion. Believe it or not, in many cases it does not matter.

Lots of people are published traditionally, and it does prove some level of validity in their line of work. But there are a huge variety of people in the world of trad pub. There are people who write books in genres that don't apply to writers here. There are people who write books that aren't very good. There are even people who write trad pub books that are very good, but their careers are sullied by the fact that the authors themselves are not good people.

Being a successful writer does not mean you're a good person. Being a writer at all does not mean you are a good person. I believe in Death of the Author to an extent, but when that author insists on making a presence on a public website and doling out advice and opinions to other writers the lines start to blur considerably.

Writing is a job. You work it over a period of time and learn skills and strategies that work for you. The same applies to virtually every other job, including ones that society views as less romantic as something in the arts. Can you imagine me breaking into your home while you're making lunch and telling you how to arrange your cheese slices based on what I know as a full-time, professional sandwich artist at Subway? You might be interested based on leaning something you didn't know about a place you might've eaten at before. But that does not entitle me to your respect on its own.

I am not entitled to your respect based on how well I learned how to make a sandwich based on my hypothetical career at Subway. Just as I don't deserve it solely because I know two card tricks, can get out a variety of stains, read most of the works of the major beatniks, can make a really good carbonara, or any other specific about my life that ultimately does not play a huge part in who I am as a person.

When I am on my death bed, I hope to god the core of my character was not the fact that I typed stories from my brain until I got carpal tunnel. If my obituary begins and ends at "writer", no matter how positive the qualifier is before that, it will be the greatest failure of my life.

Because I am a writer. But that does not matter. It does not matter if you're a writer. It can be fun and enjoyable if you are, even better if you make a living at it, but it doesn't mean you'll be happy. It doesn't mean people will like you or perceive you to be the leader and teacher you might think you are. It certainly doesn't give you a free pass to throw cruelty at strangers for truly no real reason.

Professional Author, you had a chance to raise up the next generation of an industry I assume you must value. You're choosing not to, and that's fine. You don't have the obligation to. You do have the choice to not get involved and pretend to give advice that ranges from vague to untrue. You seem to be taking that responsibility very seriously.

It's like some twist on crab mentality, where instead of dragging crabs trying to escape the bucket you're swiping at anyone who tries to crawl in with you. Then, as they struggle, you're looking down at them and making comments on how easy it is to get in the bucket, if you only just do it and maybe read some books.

To all of us, I say this: question authority, even in the arts. Especially in the arts. Nobody knows as much as they say. That includes me, but I do know this - any branch of publishing feels really good. It's scary but it's fun. If you're traditional published or indie published or self published, it says nothing about how good your book is or how good you are as a writer or how valuable you are as a human being.

Don't be this lonely bucket crab. They seem mean and I'm tired of talking about them.

Best Regards,

Clove

[secretgamergirl]

When Complete BS Becomes "Common Knowledge."

Someone told me they stopped paying attention to someone who reviews movies after one too many mean-spirited jokes about trans people, and it was one of those cases where the reviewer in question definitely had the vibe of someone who'd go around doing that, but I couldn't think of any real flagrant examples. Cut to me watching a movie the other day, remembering that oh yeah, I skipped that one guy's review of it because I wanted to go in blind, and sure enough, that review has this big long crappy 5 minute aside of an out of left field "DID YOU JUST ASSUME MY GENDER!?" routine. So that's a shame.

Now this particular guy rather famously Does Not Get Out Much. Pretty sure he hasn't really have any exposure to a single trans person, or to any real die hard transphobes, and most likely what happened here is he saw I dunno, an episode of South Park or a facebook post from some bigoted aunt, or some Tiktok video, something like that, and just blithely assimilated it into his world view.

But you know, the reality is... to the best of my knowledge no trans person has ever actually said this, or anything similar to this, and we sure as hell don't live in a world where anyone would have the back of someone who did? But you know, here we are.

Now I want to be clear, this isn't some kinda thing where trans people can't take a joke or anything. Literally while I was typing this, some cis guy just tossed this out, and this is a real tired old hokey one, but I cracked a smile, because oh yeah, the whole "programmer socks" bit really is a weirdly accurate stereotype.

And there's plenty of other trans jokes I'll laugh at. Ones directly at my expense. Some real dark ones even. You wanna go off on trans women all having the same like 10 names and them all sounding like we were born in the 1800s, go for it. Other stuff about how we all dress? Coping mechanisms? Low standards? Being too into pickles and sriracha? There's plenty.

But "DID YOU JUST ASSUME MY GENDER!?" and while we're at it, "I identify as..." don't even have the vague shape of something you're ever going to encounter in reality. Like if I didn't know the context of where these came from and hadn't had them posted a thousand times or so by people with swastikas for avatars and such, these probably would get a laugh from me the first time I heard them, because they sound like weird surrealist humor. Like, "don't you hate how every time you go to the laundromat, you have to play chess with the dragon before they let you in?"

But, again, I know the context. And the context is a bunch of fascists want people like me dead, and they're both too scared to pick up a gun to do it themselves and too incompetent to know who to point it at or where to find them. So they sit around with each other and go "hey, what sort of person does everyone hate? Let's all say trans people talk like them!" And because they haven't spoken to a single human being besides each other and the rich parents they're sponging off since getting banned from the Something Awful forums in the 90s/punk bar in the 80s/whatever, they settled on "rich white person calling the cops on somebody for walking down the street" and "didn't I first get into being a hatemonger because I was stupid enough to think that time I saw someone roleplaying he really thought he was a big scary dragon?" Which has honestly worked out weirdly well for them when you stop for half a second to appreciate just how absolutely ridiculous it is to ever imagine cops coming to the aid of trans people.

Like... here's a situation that actually plays out in reality. I have a bad tooth. Dentist says I need a root canal, and she doesn't do them. Refers me to another dentist like an hour and a half away. I walk in, write my Victorian sounding name on some paperwork, fill in all my various medications, wait a bit, hop into the big dentist's chair, so far so good. This dentist busts out the pick and the mirror about to have a look, and goes "hey, so I noticed on your medications you're taking a ton of something called divigel? What is that?" I say "oh, yeah, I'm trans, so I'm on supplemental estradiol." She almost drops the mirror, stares at me like she just realized I'm Venom and if she bent down to look at my teeth I was about to swallow her whole head. She stands bolt upright, says, "your teeth are fine, get out." I'm a bit confused, but I can read a room, so I say "well that's weird, but OK..." and start to leave. I get a "have a nice day SIR!" shouted at me. And then I go out, call the cab company to say my appointment ended early, and get told too bad, it's coming when it's scheduled, and someone snickers. See, at some point in having to take cabs to all my appointments, a driver worked out that this woman he'd been picking up from this address for the past year has a similar voice to and maybe vague family resemblance to who he'd been picking up from that same address the year prior, and after getting the courage to ask me, guess who's constantly having cabs show up late, or not at all, or on time with a driver staring angrily into the rear view mirror while blaring AM radio with someone shouting about all "the gays" needing to be rounded up so they can burn in hell. And I just need to suck it up and live with it. I'm sure as hell not going to pick a fight over it. I'm just gonna stand out in the cold (fortunately with nice warm knee-high socks) waiting for this cab for an hour because I sure as hell can't stay in this lobby.

But again, the whole weird myth here posits a world where trans people are all-powerful and control the government and stuff. And the basis for that is like... sometimes people refuse to pass ridiculous laws to stop trans people from doing things we only do in bigots' imaginations at great taxpayer expense, and SOMETIMES someone is responsible enough to double check what's up before they allocate the funds. Like... hell, you know what's exactly as completely divorced from reality and honestly the same people doing to same crap? That wild BS about "schools keeping litter boxes in classrooms because all this acceptance of trans people means we also have to accept kids who think they're cats!" Like... how the hell can anyone actually be stupid enough to believe that anyone else could be stupid enough to believe that they're actually stupid enough to believe such an OBVIOUSLY made-up narrative? Like... lawmakers bring that one up and try to get bills passed on it. Everyone else in the room is socially obligated not to laugh and ask whether they also want to pass legislation against Bat Boy and UFO abductions. This is Ralph Wiggum tier absurdity.

But like... what do you do about this sort of thing, really? As the person ultimately has to deal with the dentists who think I'll bite their heads off, ask to speak to their manager, and drop trou over a sandbox the state mandates they keep in the middle of the room, I'm... not in the room when this BS gets concocted, or discussed, or shared in Minions meme some film critic sees and imitates to try and be relatable and relevant. Can someone else start grabbing all these people by the lapels and shake them and shout questions about how they can be this stupid, maybe invite them back to reality for me?

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

anyone else have multiple traumatic memories associated specifically with holidays/family vacations? because that is a topic I never see discussed in all the So You Had A Shitty Childhood, Now What? self-help books i've been reading. but for me, it was a significant thing. and the more i think about it the more it seems like this would be an (unfortunately) common experience. would be grateful to hear if this matches other peoples' experiences...

[blu3b3rryj4mp1r3]

why do I feel the need to filter myself all the time? as if people care if I want to use coloured text, if my art looks bad or if I spell words wrong lol it's MY blog, why do I care so stupid much what other people think? it's the same thing even when I'm writing in my diary, I'm like, "Oh NO what if I DIE and someone reads my diary?!?!?!?! they're going to think I'm cringe" BERRY you stupid idiot! stop caring so much what people think, you're not alive to appease others!! just do what you want!! constantly thinking about what other people think is so draining you don't even have the energy to talk to people because you're so worried about how you're being perceived. PLEASE STOP!!

[hella1975]

me: yeah i didn't project too badly onto taob haha *sees a quote from taob randomly on a tiktok webweave about girlhood*

[un-pearable]

i still stand by my cole has anxiety hc. dudes just been sublimating it by force in order to tolerate a life on stage and the moment he got the chance he moved to the top of a mountain. not normal behavior. learning to wield a kickass scythe was just a bonus of finally not having to be stressed about being Perceived all the time

[sophiethewitch1]

I am so gosh-darn excited for this story. You cannot even believe the scratch it’s itching. I know someone else said they hope the boys never find out about the body switch/new universe situation but I kinda hope they do because she seems like a character who would benefit from. *a lot* of reassurance. Can’t wait to see what you’ve got cooked up! Any sneak-peeks you can share?

It's something I needed too. Went looking around on ao3 for something similar and found NOTHING other than one fic that ended in routes. Which we do not do here its poly ending or nothing. And you're totally right she is a character that needs a lot of reassurance and will not be dealing with this yandere stuff in any normal way. I.e.: comedically, instead of just horrified. Comedically horrified. because I can't take anything seriously (sorry). also I shared a sneak peak for chapter 2 over here which is like the first 3 paragraphs of weirdo tim's inner monologue. I'm not entirely sure I have his character right but like, I will always write a character weirder than in canon. tim drake IS insane and I will spread the gospel. they're all insane they dress up like bats and birds and run around gotham city at night punching mental patients and homeless people. that IS a definitively crazy thing to do. I feel sorry for Alfred :( also, another minor but obvious spoiler here

I'm pretty sure (insert diagnosed memory problems) that I mentioned in that other ask that there is never a reveal, but there totally will be. There are actually quite a few big 'reveals' in this fic (I'm sure you can guess what a few of the others are) but that's like... the fun part. 'i love you' 'wait wtf do you mean you're the-' shenanigans like that. Also the 'i love you' 'wait wtf do you mean you have an app that shows where-'

[captainofthetidesbreath]

absolutely spoken like someone whose career in piracy ended (possibly very recently) because his boatswain, lover, and partner in warlock shenanigans tried to ritually murder him after she identified his distrustful hesitation and disillusioned exhaustion and considered it weakness and cowardice

[actual-changeling]

I think it is important to remember that while Ellie does not know many movies, songs, or other cultural aspects that existed before the outbreak, she is overall an incredibly smart and well-read person! She knows her science!

Yes, she will probably have no idea who Queen is but she isn't stupid. There is at *least* a high school level collection of knowledge in her head, probably more in some areas she is especially interested in.

Writing her as not knowing basic bodily functions or absolutely elementary science level info is not only inaccurate but also incredibly infantilizing, and the latter is already an existing problem based on ableist stereotypes that I have no interest in seeing exacerbated by people not putting more thought into their headcanons/writing. If people are interested or curious I can make a whole post on the age regression aspects of her cptsd and how to handle it responsibly and with grace, but tl;dr if you do not know how to write it without making real people who go through it feel like shit, don't do it.

You can do with the character as you want but as soon as you publicly share those headcanons you have a responsibility to not spread harmful misinformation or be offensive in any way.

[tittyinfinity]

constantly being in online arguments absolutely affects your mood and how you treat people in real life

being under that level of stress and agitation that often is extremely unhealthy. if you're constantly seeking out arguments, it most likely means you're trying to distract from stressors in your life with other stressors that are easier to control.

I'm not saying never stand up for yourself or argue with people at all, just don't make discourse the primary way you use the internet.

[bigcats-birds-and-books]

Coming Out Swinging; or, It's So Early In The Year To Be Over-Buying Books But Here We Are.

Okay, so: I know I set one of my bookish goals this year to be "buy fewer books," BUT! First off, preorders don't count, and second off, the Two Lines Press haul was logged under last year's book purchases, and it's not my fault they arrived a week later. RAVEN TOWER I have no excuses for.

I have really enjoyed everything of Two Lines Press that I've read so far--their Calico series are perfect bite-sized anthologies in translation, vaguely themed (and THIS IS US LOSING COUNT has the English and Russian version of the poems presented side by side! I can read both of those!!). I'm ride or die for Wayward Children installments (this is why I love January), and a friend spoke very highly of RAVEN TOWER so I picked up a used copy from HPB. I'm very pleased with my piecemeal haul to start the year! I swear I'll buy fewer books once I work through all my coupons/gift cards! I love books!!

[elvencantation]

i was today years old when i realized the lyrics aren’t actually ‘it’s gonna be may’

[i-bring-crack]

Alright yeah fuck it. If you dont have characters that will be beloved by the people who read it then the stories dont last long in a fandom or sometimes even have an impact on people. Fuck the premise fuck the storyline fuck your worldbuilding becuase Ive seen so many, MANY, stories that are great have no one else to talk about simply because the characters were either too little screentime or none at all to be explored.

And now more than ever more people will define their liking of a story to whenever or not the characters are solid on their own instead of everything else. Its why much of the retellings or the same genre tropes are played out over and over again instead of new things compromising around the same idea.

And its not bad, but its also dumb for someone to go ahead and call another work of art, of whatever kind but im mostly talking about stories here, as a 'lesser work' simply because theres no characters that fit into neat molds or are hot and you can quickly get attached to, completely ignoring everything else about what it is and just deciding everyone who likes it has horrible tastes.

[obnoxiousarcade]

UGH PEOPLE CAN BE SO STUPID SOME TIMES.