#it’s also strange that people compare these two characters because they would DESPISE each other

[mmelolabelle]

it’s not that cersei lannister is actually smarter than alicent hightower (she isn’t) rather that cersei lannister is not burdened by such trivialities as ‘empathy’ or ‘self-awareness’ or ‘the reality of the situation’; the idea that she cannot do something just doesn’t occur to cersei, ever, every societal norm and moral code is a personal inconvenience to her

oh and she is actually for real insane

it all enables cersei to just do shit to a degree that other characters can only marvel at

[gracieryder]

This fandom has a very strange divide when it comes to Shannon Diaz.

I say strange because I don’t think you’re all as divided as you think you are. I think you’re coming from different places and completely missing each other. I might be wrong, but let me explain what I mean.

First, it’s possible to have multiple emotions and opinions about a character. You don’t have to despise a character completely or adore a character completely. And if you do either of those things, you should acknowledge when a character isn’t two-dimensional. Like, I love this character including their flaws. Or even, I love this character despite their flaws.

The issue with Shannon is that the diverging opinions seem to be coming from two different places. I say this because I personally have differing opinions regarding Shannon that align with both “sides” of this depending on how I’m looking at her.

There are opinions regarding Shannon’s character inside the narrative, and there are opinions regarding Shannon’s character outside the narrative. And those opinions clash.

I’m going to explain this as clearly as I can.

Inside the narrative, we’re talking about Shannon as though she’s a real person and we’re judging that character based on her actions.

The main thing people talk about, of course, is Shannon abandoning Eddie and more importantly Chris.

Then others point out that Eddie also left, but fans have been willing to forgive him. So why not Shannon? To which Side #1 points out that Eddie "redeemed” himself whereas Shannon did not. To which Side #2 points out that Shannon didn’t get the chance to redeem herself because she was hit by a car.

I tend to fall more in line with Side #1 on this though I understand where Side #2 is coming from. And there are two main reasons why. (Though again, please understand that Side #2 falls more in line with the outside narrative which I’ll address in a minute.)

One reason is because I feel like Side #2 is misrepresenting the differences between Shannon and Eddie as parents and what they “did”. And I’m not talking about Eddie being gone for work whereas Shannon just left. I’m intimately aware that money is no substitute for a person’s actual presence. My dad can help me out as much as he wants financially, and I know he loves me. But it will never compare to everything my mom has done for me emotionally by supporting me as a person and really getting to know and understand me.

When I say there’s a difference between Shannon’s form of “leaving” and Eddie’s form of “leaving”, I mean this. Shannon completely removed herself from her son’s life. She was gone. She didn’t even stay in contact as far as we know. Whereas Eddie may have run away physically, but he was still there in a way. He still communicated with both Shannon and Chris. He still went home to them on leave. I’m not defending what he did or saying that he was being the parent or husband he needed to be. I’m just saying that these two things are different. And I would honestly argue that one is more easy to “forgive” than the other, but that’s just my personal opinion.

Now. The second reason I tend to fall in line with Side #1 from inside the narrative is because Side #2 is kind of assuming that Shannon would have redeemed herself if given the chance and that she was worthy of that forgiveness.

They might be right, but they also might be wrong. First of all, loving your child does not excuse hurting them. And while Shannon did love Chris, she also caused him a large amount of emotional pain. So even if she did “redeem herself” as a parent, no one is obligated to forgive her for abandoning him. And it’s important to note that if Shannon were Chris’ father instead of his mother, people would probably be far less inclined to even give her a second chance. Much less think that trying to better herself and be a better parent meant people were obliged to forgive her and see her more favorably. It’d be more like “Oh. So now he wants to step up and be there.” Whereas for a mom it’s like “Oh, she was struggling so much. And she came back. And she loves her son. Etc.”

As a society, we tend to put moms on a pedestal and see dads as secondary. And it affects how we react to the things they do.

But also, even inside the narrative, there’s no guarantee that she actually would have stuck around for Chris. She completely abandoned him once, and she could do it again. And arguably, it would be easier to do the second time. Even if she loved Chris and didn’t want to hurt him. She loved him the first time too. Loving someone doesn’t mean you’re incapable of causing them pain. So this idea that Shannon would have redeemed herself is a hopeful one. Not a fact. And even if she did, no one is obligated to forgive her. There’s no scale where if she does enough good things, it magically erases the bad. Forgiveness is personal. You choose to forgive someone. People can’t buy it from you with their actions.

Now, let’s talk about outside the narrative.

This is where I more line up with Side #2.

When people say Shannon “deserved” a redemption arc and that what was done to her character was fucked up, it’s not a defense of her inside the narrative. At least in my understanding.

This is where you’re talking about Shannon from a creative standpoint. Where you’re stepping back from the story and viewing her as a character.

Let me explain.

While you may not like Shannon as a person, creatively she was a well-developed character. She was complex and had a variety of motives. She had an actual background that we got to see bits of in Eddie Begins. She was built into someone important who could have played a very interesting role in the story.

Instead, they basically fridged her. They said “Eh. I don’t feel like dealing with this character and all the complexities they add to the story, so let’s just kill her off.” And they did. They turned an interesting and multi-faceted character into a plot device and used her death to focus on Eddie. The woman died, and her death became all about Eddie. (And Chris, but the man pain was the main focus. Let’s be real.)

It was sloppy and weak writing, and I would argue that yes. Shannon’s character deserved to be handled better. Not because she was a great person, but because she was a good character. Not to mention the fact that it’s also a bit misogynistic because this sort of nonsense is almost always geared at female characters. Not the male ones.

(If you watch Lone Star, they pulled some similar nonsense with Charles Vega. And I was pissed. And so was a lot of the fandom. Tommy got an entire episode devoted to her coming to terms with his death, but I’ll be interested to see if they drag her grief out for an entire season like they did for Eddie. If her pain has the same level of focus his did. Because if they skip to her moving on, I will burst into ugly laughter. Especially when unlike with Eddie and Shannon, Tommy and Charles had a very loving and well-founded relationship that was going strong. So, the idea that Eddie would be more consumed by grief over Shannon than Tommy would be over Charles would have me side-eying the screen a bit. Even though I know grief is a very personal process. But I’m getting sidetracked. Back to Shannon.)

I’m not saying Shannon’s character should have been handled better in that she deserved to redeem herself and be forgiven and be a mom to Chris and yadda yadda. That’s all inside the narrative.

I’m saying that as a character, it would have been better to follow her. Not run her over with a car. Even if she had that “redemption arc”, it would be a more compelling story for her to fail. For her to try and redeem herself and then get “overwhelmed” by parenthood and make more mistakes. And if she didn’t continue to fail, there could have been the focus on divorce and how that affects families and children. How she and Eddie navigate their issues with one another to continue parenting Chris.

Instead, no. They killed her. It was lazy and irritating writing.

So, that’s what I mean when I say I don’t think you’re all as divided as you might believe.

Because honestly, I think most of you have a more complex view of her that lines up with this in a lot of ways, but it’s not something people have time to really explain. So, it comes out as “Ugh. I don’t like Shannon,” which rubs some people wrong who are viewing her as a character. Or it comes out as “Ugh. Shannon deserved better,” which rubs other people wrong who are viewing her as a person and parent.

This is just what I’m seeing and taking away from everything, and I hope it helps clear things up for some of you. Or gives you a better understanding of where the other side might be coming from. ❤️

I don’t claim to speak for the entire fandom. It’s just eyebrow-raising to me. Because I hold both opinions, so I don’t really get why there’s a big debate.

[baubaes]

hi! is there a chance for Jemily with no22? some angst maybe? cheers🤗

Well hello to you to! And of course there is!

@thatonecurlygirl prompt list 22

“I can’t give you what you want.”

Ship: Emily Prentiss x Jennifer Jareau

Word count: 5,4k

Genre: angst/hurt/fluff/very very light nsfw? i have no clue how to label this

Warnings: mentions of violence, death, injuries, classic criminal minds vibes :^)))

Summary: "Right now, Emily Prentiss was dead. She, however, was on a plane to Paris." aka JJ taking care of staked Emily, the blackbird flashback and events around it.

A/N: i thought of way too many scenarios when even though Emily and JJ are literally in love, it could never work out. here's one of them :^) i hope you'll enjoy it!! xx ana apparently i just can't imagine a scenario in which these characters could have a peaceful, quiet and happy life, im so sorry

Emily felt drained.

She was all hurting, really bad, her head was killing her, not only from the beating she received those several days ago, but also the mere stress of all this.

It was pretty baffling for her to realize that she survived this whole ordeal.

She couldn’t say for how long she was out; it felt both like a blink of an eye and an eternity.

And she really thought that she died, when she eventually lost consciousness in Morgan’s arms. That still felt like ages ago.

It was all really confusing, but then again, she couldn’t spare too much of her strength to dwell on what actually happened. Emily just felt too weak to try to keep her eyes open for too long and that resulted in her reality being pretty much scattered.

When she woke up in a hospital room, she was dazed and overwhelmed. They’ve put her on some strong painkillers after the surgery and most of the time right then felt like a blur. She thought she heard some voices in her dream, maybe doctors, maybe… Was it JJ?

She heard bits and pieces of conversations, somebody commenting on her condition in a low voice, nervous footsteps circling around the room, the dimmed rhythmical sounds of all the equipment she was hooked to, some sort of buzzing and a one sided conversation that had to be a phone call.

Was it just some bizarre dream?

A way for her subconscious mind to cope with the anxiety surrounding the recent events?

Whether it was real or not, it let her stay in this state of slumber brought to her through an IV drip.

Despite all that, she felt really grateful. She wasn’t sure where to channel this gratitude though;

Her team for backing her up?

The doctors for patching her up in the OR?

God, for allowing her to continue her existence?

Then again, she wasn’t sure if the last one existed, nor that the almighty entity would waste its time on making sure little old her survives.

It was comforting though, that her last moments on this Earth managed not to be spent with Doyle, even if that was against her will, so in theory, she didn’t have much of control over this.

Memories of him were a combination of ones that she’s made as Emily Prentiss and ones that she’s made as Lauren Reynolds. As Emily, it consisted of all those moments when he threatened her and her team, he kidnapped her, tortured her, nearly killed her…

As Lauren she was able to saw his more… Humane side.

Lauren was his girlfriend. Lauren lived with him,

Lauren shared her joys and fears with him. Lauren loved him.

But that was Lauren.

She wasn’t real. An identity, that’s all that she was.

And even though Emily tried to convince herself that Lauren’s feelings were perfectly compartmentalized away from her own, deep down she knew she was lying to herself.

Was Doyle ever somebody she actually loved?

She definitely despised him, but it felt like now she was obligated to despise even her own self for ever having feelings for this monster. Positive ones anyway.

Right now, Emily Prentiss was dead.

She, however, was on a plane to Paris.

It was all coordinated by Hotchner and JJ.

Nobody else knew.

Her team, her friends, her loved ones were about to attend her funeral in a few days.

She imagined confused look on Spencer’s face, Garcia’s eyes filled with tears, Morgan frowning and looking away. Would Rossi be sad, or would he finally feel relieved to be ridded of her impulsiveness and comments on literally everything?

She imagined her mother, who obviously was not on it, throwing a pile of soil on the coffin. That would not hold her body inside. Would she cry? Would she stay composed even at a funeral of her only child? Well, again, it wasn’t real real, but she wouldn’t be able to realize that.

For some reason, she figured JJ would’ve taken it upon herself to feel guilty, despite knowing what was going on.

They both knew it was the only way to make it all work.

Emily worried about everyone, but there were two people she worried about the most. Spencer and Penelope.

They both were incredibly strong, but she couldn’t be sure how would they deal with this.

She worried, since Reid did not cope well with losing authorities. And even if he would never admit it to her face, she knew that he looked up to her.

The thought of that made her feel the bile appear on the back of her throat.

That kid has lost so many people already… And he internalized all that, it had to be weighing on him every single day. It felt cruel to add another person to that list.

She had to keep thinking about the bigger picture to even remotely be able to deal with all that.

Now Garcia was somebody that Emily truly loved.

It was hard to imagine her being sad over her „death”.

Not because of the probability of the blonde being sad,

rather the severity of her grieving, Emily would imagine.

Penelope was one of those people who were able to feel so much, maybe even too much sometimes.

And on a daily basis it was wonderful. That’s what’s made her such an incredible, empathetic human being, who, despite their job, was still able to not only - be cheerful, but to cheer others up as well.

When she thought of that, it felt as if her heart could break to million pieces.

It was strange, how in that moment she should still feel the pain;

They’ve stabilized her after the surgery, but there were still bruises on her face, stitches across her abdomen, burnt skin on her chest. And she did feel it, but it was blurred, far away.

The feeling that made her grasp reality to the point of hyperawareness was the emotional pain.

Somehow she was able to compare it to the pain of being staked.

She still wasn’t sure what was a proper emotional response in that situation.

It wasn’t in the manual, or in training, despite people having to go… Well, faking your own death was like going undercover, in a way.

Both at the Interpol and the FBI, nobody taught her how to feel, while pretending to be dead.

She knew how to make it happen technically, more or less. After all, Lauren had already died. Her old team, JTF-12, was able to pull that off those several years ago. Including her of course.

But that was Lauren. An identity, which, sure, she’s been tied to for quite some time, living as her, acting like her, becoming her in a way.

Still, just an identity.

Right now, there wasn’t a disguise, an identity to toss away, allowing her to come back to her regular life.

Right now her regular life was supposed to cease to exist.

Before, she thought about her goal and the fact, that she survived. She was grateful, in some way she felt obligated to take care of Declan and she wouldn't be able to do that, if she was actually dead, right?

Even though she knew that she had no right to feel attached to the boy as much as she did, she just couldn’t help it. The image of him as a toddler, walking around the room in Doyle’s house stuck in her head. She couldn’t shake it off. And even before Doyle found her, that image caused her to have problems with falling asleep from time to time.

Emily never seriously thought of herself becoming a mother, for that role to be the main purpose of her life. She was afraid of screwing her potential children up, because she knew that even if she meant well, it wouldn’t guarantee them turning out okay. And her line of work made it impossible to both realistically approach the idea of maternity - she didn’t have a partner and if she were to be a single mother - it would be impossible to keep up with the BAU - that job was just too demanding; but also she saw so many downright evil, just unimaginable things that people were capable of doing to one another. How could she ever be able to shield a child from that?

Suddenly, all these ridiculous, small things that she wouldn’t think twice about made her feel as if each and every part of her life was just slipping through her fingers, right there, right then.

That one window in her apartment, the one with the wide windowsill, she loved to sit on it and watch the sky. Sergio would curl up in her lap or right next to her, on the windowsill, quietly purring, when she would pet his black fur. It didn’t happen often, because most nights she'd come home so exhausted, all she could basically do was just pass out on her bed. And Sergio would sleep on a pillow right next to her, despite Emily's promises to herself that she will teach him to stop, because she'd wake up covered in his fur with a runny nose.

But when she had a chance to do that, it made her mind stop racing, at least for a few minutes. That barely ever happened anywhere else.

Now she realized that Sergio was alone in her apartment and she panicked. But just for a second, because then she remembered JJ in the hospital, telling her that Penelope took him in. Of course she did. He'd definitely be surrounded with love. She wished she could've just taken him with her though, since she's already been missing him. Silly little fur ball, making her fall in love with him gradually. Penelope wouldn't be able to resist his charm for sure, she thought to herself, smiling. Still, she felt really sad.

Emily realized that she’s left so many things behind.

She didn’t think of herself as someone intensively attached to material possessions, but all these had a sentimental value for her and that was the only thing that mattered.

The thoughts invading her head were random, coming to her without any particular sense or order, falling on her mind like an avalanche.

And she thought about that crumpled up picture, capturing her with her friends when she was a teenager, back in Rome.

A cross, that her mother gave her on her first communion. She wasn’t ever really wearing it, but she liked knowing that it was safely tucked away in one of the drawers in her closet. It brought her some strange kind of comfort.

A box with letters she’d exchange with her father when she was a kid, because even though they moved around together as a family, he still would have assignments all around the world. So he would leave for a single weekend, or for several months at a time. No matter how long or short was he leaving for, he’d always try and send her a postcard, hence the collection of them, both from huge cities in Europe and Asia and tiny places she’s never even heard of before in America or Australia.

Maybe she wasn’t going through this box ritually on some settled schedule, but every once in a while she would look at those tacky pictures of touristy little towns, as well as simple, beautiful pictures of great historical monuments or watercolored landscapes of picturesque countrysides. And they'd make the corners of her lips rise up just a tiny bit.

All that with a couple words reading simple greetings, scribbled in a hurry, in her dad’s small, not exactly neat handwriting, on the back of each and every one of them.

„Love you, Dad” summed up every single message.

And looking at those words made her feel warmth, both now and when she was a little girl. Her father wasn’t very talkative and he rarely told her he loved her unprompted. So she got used to reading these words, instead of hearing them from him.

She cherished these postcards and anytime she’d go through them, she noticed some kind of feeling spread throughout her body, that felt like pure joy, but also love and safety.

Kurt Vonnegut’s "Sirens of Titan".

Morgan lent it to her a few months ago.

The book was by her bed, bookmarked with some crumpled receipt for groceries she’d found at the bottom of her purse, when she'd had to suddenly break away from Rumfoord and Kazak on the jet.

She’s read it before, truth be told, (in Italian and back in the ’80s), but Morgan insisted that she just had to read the original version. And even though there was a stack of books she wanted to read going back at least two years sitting on her bedroom floor, dangerously leaning against the radiator, the day she brought it home, she placed the Sirens on the very top of her bedside table, instead of the stack.

She’d imagine Morgan would appreciate that gesture.

Morgan, her partner.

Morgan, who held her before she passed out.

Morgan, who always had her back.

And she tried to do the same for him in the field.

He’s saved her ass countless times.

Emily wished she could have had his back right now.

She realized with a paralyzing fear that it could last forever.

Doyle could lay low, undetected for years.

Would it keep Morgan up at night?

Would he blame himself, wondering?

If he'd gotten to her seconds earlier, if he had only ran faster, if he’d found her sooner, would it change anything?

Thinking about that made her fists clench suddenly.

If she had any fingernails left, they would surely dig into the skin of her palms very painfully right now.

Emily felt this overwhelming guilt filling her chest, making her throat feel as if it was closing, her teeth grit.

She felt like she couldn’t breathe, as if the jet’s cabin had become decompressed and she couldn't reach the oxygen mask.

"You’re doing okay?"

She heard the soft and calming voice of her only companion on this flight, naturally besides the pilot.

JJ was looking at her with those big, worried, blue eyes and even though Emily’s first instinct was to nod, as she did just that, she felt her eyes watering.

"I can't stand the thought of all of them grieving over a lie."

She mumbled out.

"Emily, you know that this is the only way. We’d never make them go through this, if there were any other options. They will understand."

JJ’s voice became more firm with the last sentence, she was obviously in a mind space reserved for dealing with crisis.

"I really thought that was it, you know?"

Emily asked, a little startled at the sound of her own voice.

She couldn’t recall the last time she’s held an actual conversation with another person, one that wouldn’t consist of barely understandable mumbling as a form of communication on her end.

"There came that point, where the pain went away, I guess I went into shock. I heard Morgan’s voice and I wanted to keep my eyes open like he told me to so bad, but I just couldn’t. I felt like I was slipping away and it felt so… Easy. I wasn’t scared at all. I… I knew you guys would take care of Declan, if I wasn’t around. And that all of you would be okay."

She said, trying to piece together everything that happened.

"And apparently I've coded in the ambulance? I had no idea, but some glimpses are coming back to me, slowly. But it was like I’d fallen asleep."

She added, her face reflecting her mind in a state of deep contemplation.

Her thoughts were interrupted by JJ’s voice.

"Thank God, you didn’t…"

Emily only now noticed that with every word that she spoke, JJ’s eyes became more and more glossy. She frowned.

"Hey, I’m here."

She leaned in and smiled faintly.

"Its gonna take way more than some branding and a little stake for you to get rid of me."

JJ laughed, wiping the tears away, before they had a chance to flow down her cheeks.

"Why would I ever want to get rid of you?"

Blonde asked, her voice now soft, her expression puzzled.

Emily felt something strange in her chest.

At first her brain assumed it had to be her burnt skin and damaged nerve endings, but no.

It felt nice, it wasn’t painful.

That warmth, spilling around her insides.

She didn’t have a witty comeback to her question. She wanted to think it was because of the meds making her hazy, but she wasn’t sure anymore. She just looked down at her chest and frowned again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"The first thing I’m doing, when we get to Paris is having this removed."

She heard her own voice.

"How could a brand hurt more than getting staked?"

"Maybe it’s a psychosomatic itch you’re scratching? The brand left an emotional toll, Doyle established dominance over you by marking you as his, a stake… I mean you overcame death. The ultimate victory over your foe. Why suffer a pain you’re proud of?"

JJ wondered, actually trying to analyze all that. She looked at her, now amused.

"Or you could always get another tattoo."

Emily laughed at that. JJ continued.

"You know, something transformative? Like a… A phoenix. Or a blackbird."

"I love the song."

Emily said.

"But something tells me, I shouldn’t tread in your waters."

JJ looked at her with a questioning look.

"Come on, JJ. Something’s obviously different about you. You commandeered an Interpol jet. You’re profiling me."

JJ looked down and sighed. Emily continued.

"Why didn’t you say your transfer was a backstop?"

At that JJ’s expression turned to a confused one, indicating that what the other woman said was the truth.

"Oh, I know that look. The 'I can’t trust anyone, but myself' look. I invented it."

Emily added, trying to make it sound funny, but ultimately, it still came out serious, because it was true. JJ smiled at her slightly, but she looked sad.

"Do you ever feel like you’re in way over your head?" Emily nodded, wanting her to continue.

"I got assigned to an information hunt. Instead, I am chasing an unsub, who killed my informant."

"What would Hotch tell you to do?" Emily asked without hesitation. That’s how she found her way around during any investigation, ever since she joined the BAU.

"Focus on victimology, let behavior lead the way…"

JJ listed out loud.

"Exactly. Who did your unsub kill?"

"The one person I was getting through to."

"Why?"

Emily continued with her questions, seeing that they initiated JJ’s thought process.

"Because I was getting through to…" JJ said, frowning.

"I was getting through to her. What if she was about to expose her killer? Someone on the inside…"

Emily could tell that JJ needed somebody else to look at her situation and see it in from a different angle. JJ got really pensive, her eyes glued to some nonexistent point in space.

"It sounds like it's time for you to be the blackbird and flip the script." Emily said slowly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I guess it does." JJ said with a tiny smile, before getting up.

"Hey, why won’t you try and sleep at least a while? We won’t be landing for several hours, so…"

"Right. You should try and sleep too. I’ve been in a coma, so I caught some Zs, when you think about it. Medically induced ones, but still. You on the other hand must be exhausted."

Emily’s face was covered in grey, purple and yellow spots, but JJ’s face, even though not bruised, still indicated that she had a rough couple of days. She had bags under her eyes, her cheeks pale, instead of slightly flushed like they normally were, her face tired.

They both looked quite miserable.

JJ just smiled in response, but her eyes weren’t a part of that smile. Her eyes stayed sad.

She walked to another seat, so she could try and lie down.

Emily wanted to let JJ rest, because she suspected that by suggesting sleeping, she actually had an excuse to take a nap herself, even if it was supposed to last only few minutes. She deserved a good night sleep, Emily thought to herself, watching the blonde struggling to find a comfortable position. When she eventually succeeded, Prentiss leaned back in her own seat, looking out the window. Her chest was still burning, but she wouldn’t even flinch. Her eyes, almost independently from her will, landed on the other woman every couple of minutes. She watched JJ’s chest move rhythmically, until her breathing became really deep and really steady and she was without a doubt asleep.

She knows what’s happening,

Emily thought to herself.

And so does Hotchner.

Yet, they’re going to have to look at the rest being in pain and they’re going to have to pretend that they’re going through the same thing.

And when she thought about Hotch, it wasn’t that hard to imagine.

He would keep himself perfectly composed in pretty much any situation she ever saw him in.

He was able to calculate his next move without showing as much as a microexpression.

It could be a little unsettling sometimes, but then again when he was surrounded by his family, when he was with Jack, he would expose this softer and loving side of himself. Just a bit. It was quite the view.

Emily had no doubt that he was a good father. And a good man.

He really was great at planning, thinking ahead like no one else;

he had his way of smoothly dealing with issues that inevitably came up during their investigations.

All those things made him an incredible section chief.

Emily was certain that she could trust him with her life. And she did.

It would be hard for anyone to keep such a burdening secret from people you are constantly around.

Eventually, you could start believing the lie, but that also took dedication. It was even harder when you had to lie to people that were actually a part of your life, people that you were close to.

It’s one thing to be undercover and to keep a secret from people you’re trying to infiltrate. During such operations it felt justified to do that, choosing the lesser evil, the end justify the means and all that.

It’s a completely different thing to do that to your friends and family.

"The secret to getting away with lying is believing with all your heart. That goes for lying to yourself even more so than lying to another."

A quote by the author Elizabeth Bear, that she's memorized from reading her New Amsterdam series more than once. She was repeating it in her mind, not being able to stop.

She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath in. She knew that they made the right call. Still, it was just devastating, thinking what they voluntarily sentenced themselves to.

She tried to calm herself down with proper breathing. It helped.

Emily finally decided to try to sleep. She thought that since she was still medicated, she’d pass out easily, but that didn’t happen.

Every time she closed her eyes, she saw faces of her team members. She felt like her chest was being crushed. Breathing didn't really help.

After what felt like forever of forcing herself to fall asleep without any luck, she opened her eyes and just kept them open. She focused her gaze on what was behind the window.

The clouds, barely visible in the navy skies.

She didn’t do it on purpose, but she realized that she started to dissociate.

And she let herself do it.

The numbness felt better than the stinging guilt.

She didn’t really register it, but tears left her eyes, falling on her lashes and cheeks, as her deep, dark eyes focused on the navy color in front of her, forty thousand feet above the ground.

She couldn’t tell how long it took, but only JJ’s turning in her sleep, simultaneously throwing a bag off the seat made Emily come back to reality. Blonde didn’t wake up. She looked really peaceful.

She thought about not seeing her for God knows how long. It stung, to a point of her gasping. Afraid, that maybe that could’ve woken her up, Emily wiped her tears away, but JJ’s eyes stayed closed. And these intrusive thoughts came back to roam inside her head.

Sure, JJ wouldn’t be with the BAU now, since she’s had that informant operation, but no doubt, she would still see them. They were a huge part of her life after all.

Emily watched her face, calm and soft, imaging it twisted in pain and grief, having to pretend one of their own was dead.

In her mind, JJ was one of the strongest people she knew. She was persistent, hardworking and incredibly professional, but she was also kind, nurturing and very loyal.

What she was doing for her at this very moment proved it perfectly.

She knew that JJ accepted her part in this plan on her own and if she were to start trying to talk her out of it (never mind that it was also too late for that at this point), she wouldn’t change her mind. To be fair, if they switched places, she would do the same for JJ, but still, she couldn’t stop worrying about the woman sleeping on a seat across from her.

Emily watched her friend and it brought her some sort of comfort, a feeling of safety.

She finally dozed off, trying not to think, but focused on JJ’s steady breathing instead.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Emily, we’ll be landing in about an hour."

She heard, opening her eyes, and she saw JJ standing in front of her, one of her hands on her shoulder.

"I thought you’d like to change before the transfer."

Emily’s hand landed on top of hers, holding both of them on her shoulder.

"Oh, right. Thank you, I…" she looked down at their hands, trying to focus. "We’ll have to say goodbye soon, right?" she blurted out, looking back at her face.

JJ sighed and sat down right next to her, not taking her hand away, but instead, intertwining their fingers and resting both their hands in Emily’s lap.

"Well, it seems so."

She smiled, but her eyes were reddened, filling with tears once again.

Emily’s gaze was glued to their hands, watching JJ’s wrist and fingers, so delicate right now, but perfectly capable of throwing a good punch. Her eyes stopped at the ring on her finger; Henry’s birthstone. She felt that strange feeling again, that warmth spreading throughout her body.

"It’s not going to last forever. We will find Doyle."

JJ mumbled out and Emily held her breath.

"I know, but… I will miss you so much."

Emily said, before instinctually putting her arms around blonde’s waist, to which she responded with wrapping her arms around her neck. JJ tried to be gentle, because of Emily’s condition, but brunette only held her tighter.

They were so close right now, that she could hear the other woman’s heartbeat. It was slightly elevated.

JJ pulled back just a little, so she could look at her face.

"I will miss you as well." she whispered, their eyes laid on each other.

JJ said the next sentence so quietly, that Emily could barely hear it.

"You’re very special to me, you know that?"

Emily wouldn’t be able to logically explain why she did what she did next, but somehow her hands ended up on both sides of JJ’s face and she leaned in, placing her lips on blonde’s ones.

She wasn’t thinking, but as she kissed her, the other woman immediately kissed her back. Emily felt soft palms cupping her face, her eyes closed. That kiss was filled with so much pain and longing and some kind of desperation.

But it made her whole body fill up with that warmth.

Emily wasn’t even sure what that was, so she tried to be gentle. She ended up kissing JJ in a somewhat shy manner, yet the other agent was deepening the kiss with each second, making it more and more passionate. Emily felt her back hitting the wall and a moan left her throat, captured by the kiss. JJ reacted by slowing down, moving her fingers across her face, running them through her hair. Emily was still cupping JJ’s face, her skin felt so soft and warm under her fingers when she brushed them across her cheeks. Their tongues slowly swirling around one another, this time Emily caused JJ to gasp, as she bit her lower lip. She responded with kissing brunette even more eagerly, so Emily brushed her fingers along her neck, resting them on her shoulders. One of her hands was caressing the skin covering JJ’s collarbone. At that she sighed, barely audibly, but Emily caught it. Her fingers moved towards the skin covering her breastbone.

JJ suddenly pulled back and broke the kiss, leaving both of them breathing heavily, blood flowing through their cheeks and lips.

Emily placed her hands back on JJ’s shoulders, she didn’t mean to make her feel uncomfortable.

Finally, after what felt like forever, she broke the silence.

"JJ, I…" she didn’t even know what to say. It wasn’t right. She had a loving husband, a family. She didn’t mean to ruin it for her.

"We don’t have to talk about this." she said quickly and Emily felt strange. She took her hands off of her shoulders and leaned back, so there was space between them.

"I… Dont… Look, if we won’t see each other for…"

She started, but her voice broke, when she realized what expression showed up on JJ’s face.

Regret.

Emily felt so many contradicting things in that moment, that she basically froze. JJ was looking away.

"You went through something traumatic, we all did. It’s only natural to crave human contact then. And it can present itself in many different ways. It doesn’t mean anything. It’s fine."

"JJ, it means… It means everything for me."

Emily choked out, placing her hand on top of blonde’s. JJ turned her hand, so she could squeeze Emily’s one between her fingers.

She smiled looking at their hands, but only for a fraction of a second. And then she took her hand away, only to look Emily straight in her eyes. She seemed sad, but also… Agitated.

"I can’t give you what you want, Emily." she said quickly, getting up.

"There’s too many reasons why. And… You have to leave."

JJ stated, sort of matter-of-factly.

Emily couldn’t really comprehend what just happened. But all of the pain, both physical and mental suddenly came back, not dimmed anymore.

This was… This wasn’t the time for this. Come on, Emily, it’s time to compartmentalize again. You used to be so good at this!

Well, before joining the team anyway.

"We’re landing in 15. You have to change, definitely cover up these bruises at least a bit." JJ continued talking, her voice morphing back to that task-oriented tone. She was taking clothes and makeup out of the bags, handing the items to her. "Hurry."

Emily felt like she couldn’t move, but she forced herself to get up and do what she needed to. They weren’t looking at each other and even though she wanted to scream, she kept perfectly quiet.

Compartmentalize. It’s not the time. It didn’t mean anything.

They landed and after JJ made sure that the right person was waiting outside to drive Emily to a safehouse, she stood in front of her and hugged her. Emily wasn’t really expecting that right now, since the atmosphere was so tense.

"I will miss you, no matter what." JJ whispered and even though Emily was so stunned from the pain and all around confused, she knew they couldn’t part without a proper goodbye.

"Thank you, for everything. Take care of them." Emily said and she embraced her tightly, one last time. Emily wanted to say that she’ll miss her like crazy, but it felt both like too much and not enough.

She didn’t want to let them turn this into a final goodbye.

"Of course. I will see you soon, okay?" JJ smiled and Emily smiled back. It wasn’t the best forced smile, but she just couldn’t do better in that moment.

"Goodbye, Jennifer." she said sounding way too official, taking a first step out.

"Goodbye, Emily."

Prentiss turned away and quickly made her way to the parked car.

She saw JJ’s face one last time through the tiny window.

The car left the landing strip and disappeared in the night.

„Goodbye, Emily.” she thought to herself, as she caught her own reflection in the side mirror.

„Goodbye, Emily.”

JJ whispered, placing a red rose on the coffin.

[kanri-tea]

Horsemen of the Apocalypse! AU

Horseman of the apocalypse get reborn as hypnosis mic characters. Jiro as Pestilence, Dice as Famine, Rio as War, and Jakurai as Death.

I wrote this while mildly sleep-deprived, so sorry for the not great grammar that may or may not appear.

Pestilence

When Jiro was born, it was a celebration, a joyous occasion of new life entering this world.

For Jiro though? Pestilence screamed at the top of his lungs, confused and baffled by the turn of events. Just moments before, he had been wandering around the empty plains in northern America, peacefully waiting until the he was called again to usher in another apocalypse.

Growing up a second time is... daunting to say the least. While Pestilence's now-parents weren't in the picture anymore (and curse his soft heart for still loving the man who'd loved them then left them), Pestilence now had two brothers, one older and one younger.

Pestilence learns to love Ichiro and Saburo, learns to laugh and fight and love. It's so very much different then his relationship with the other harbingers. It had been difficult to truly love the others, Death with his aloofness, War with his wildness, and Famine with his cruelty. But even so... a part of Pestilence yearned for them, yearned for his kin.

In a funny twist of fate, Pestilence Jiro ends up meeting Famine ("Arisugawa Dice," the man murmurs in between pachinko machines, a look of wildness in his eyes that had never been there before) first. Dice, he calls himself now, and quietly tells Famine Dice his ("Yamada Jiro"). There's no fireworks, no bursting emotions, nothing. To the world, it's just another day, but to Jiro... it means everything and more to know that they are here too. That Pestilence is not alone.

Jiro doesn't end up meeting either War or Death until the rap battles (and isn't that a strange thought in itself? man, he thinks, humans were weird). War, he finds is every bit as intimidating as before, human or not. A former veteran, and how fitting is that? In the end, they part ways before the battle without exchanging names, exchanging confirmations of each others identities, but that was okay. Jiro knew. And so did Busujima Rio.

Death on the other hand... Well, people can't say that Death doesn't have a sense of humor any more, Jiro supposes. Long grey and lavender hair and a kind, gentle demeaner, Death presented himself as a saint, as a holy man. It was strange, to say the least. Jinguji Jakurai, Jiro knew, was anything but. Death may be kind, but it was also callous and cold. Uncaring.

The world continues turning, the cogs of fate continue to work. Jiro doesn't know why the world had decided to snatch him from his peaceful wandering and thrust him into this strange, strange situation, but he would wait. Sure, it was strange to be able to move around populated areas without spreading diseases, but Jiro could be content for now.

The apocalypse would come eventually, and Jiro would ride alongside the others to usher it, just like he'd done countless millennia before. There was no need to rush. If nothing else, the harbingers had patience in spades and were no strangers to waiting.

(There is a small niggling of doubt in the back of his mind. What of Ichiro? What of Saburo? If the apocalypse truly came in their lifetime... could Jiro truly usher their deaths? Would he be able to spread diseases and doing his duty without hesitating? Could he truly watch them die?)

Famine

Arisugawa Dice was not born as Arisugawa Dice. That is a fact of life. But despite what others thought, Tohoten Daisuke Dice was not born originally as his mother's child either.

Famine snarled as best as he could at his so-called 'mother.' It was rather difficult as a baby, but he managed. The women flinched back, as if struck, but soon calmed herself, delusioning herself that her so-called child was just that. A child. Famine inwardly sniggered, but kept his face blank.

It was annoying, being a small human. It's not too bad though, to be free of his duties as a harbinger, free of the expectations that the others brought with them. As time passed, observing the woman who constantly hovered and the man that was rarely ever there soon became routine in his new life. Famine does not care though. Famine is cruel and cold and uncaring. There is no love nor hope nor mercy in a famine after all.

It's not until he's a bit older, a bit wiser, and a bit more human that he realizes, oh. Maybe he did love this human woman, this mother of his. That, even as he snarled and clawed at the man who dared to call himself Famine's father, he might just be able to love and care for another being. That his righteous and protective anger may have just been triggered by this mother of his.

The truth of the matter, though, is that Arisugawa Dice's first love is not his mother. He might not have realized it at the time, and it would take years upon years before he would realize the love that came to be, that made him human, was first born from his love of dice and gambling. That same love would soon take over his life, leaving him a gambling addict and so, so very much like the human he despised.

Famine spent little time thinking of his kin. The truth of the matter is that they were not close, each one content on doing their own thing. It's not until he runs into Pestilence ("My name," a pair of young eyes quietly watched the pachinko machine twist and turn, "is Yamada Jiro.") that it comes to the forefront of his mind. If Pestilence was here... there was a good change War and Death were here too. It's strange and discontenting to think about, after spending so many years thinking that he was free.

He ends up meeting War as a part of Amemura Ramuda's meddling. They are a team now, Fling Posse, and well, it's interesting. They're fun and even though Dice sometimes wanted to wring Ramuda's neck, sometimes wanted to toy with Gentaro until the man broke, he held back. Arisugawa Dice was not cruel like Famine. He was an idiot gambling addict.

War ("Busujima Rio," War's uncharacteristically serious and quiet tone takes him off guard. It's strange and Famine hates it.) is so, so very different from before. Dice mentally compares the wild and loud War with the quietness and stillness of Busujima Rio and finds it lacking. There are parts of War still in Rio, Dice can't deny that, but it comes in small bits and pieces and rarely. War, Dice finds, has grown tired of war. How ironic.

If Dice found War ironic, Death was even more so. Ramuda wasn't incorrect in finding the so-called saintly doctor of Shinjuku a hypocrite. It's nothing short of a surprise in finding out that Death ("Jinguji Jakurai," Death smiles, and for a second, Dice wonders if he's in hell, "A pleasure to meet you, Arisugawa-kun.") is a doctor of all things. A doctor known for saving many people, as a person who brought life and not death. It's slightly terrifying, but if Death enjoyed it, Dice squinted, then more power to him, he supposed.

Time goes on. Things change and grow and die, an endless cycle. If Dice happened to wonder why they'd all been dragged in to this world, he never says it out loud. In some ways, it's strange to be a another normal being and not a bringer of misfortune. In others, it's frustrating being so weak and fragile now. But Dice was content. He had his mother and gambling. He had his posse.

The apocalypse would approach eventually and Dice was fine with waiting. He'd spent much of life waiting in the past and now would be no different. He had been born to usher the apocalypse and that was what he would do.

(There's a quietness in his mind that shows up on his bad days, when he gambles away everything. It's a quietness that reminds him that if the apocalypse ever shows up, it won't be him who dies. It'll be his mother. It'll be Ramuda and Gentaro. It's an unsettling thought, and so he pushes it away, hidden for another day.)

War

War is born into a family a veterans. Each one of them have fought battles, both out in the field and the ones in their minds. To them, they were battles worth fighting and they present their scars proudly to the world.

Busujima Rio, they call him, and he accepts that name just like he's accepted the countless other ones that he's worn to battle. In truth, it's not war that he loves the most, it's the thrill and adrenaline. He grows up a second time as rambunctious and energetic as the first from countless millennia ago, a spitfire in human clothing, as some would call it.

It's not until he's older that Rio starts to lose his enthusiasm for war. He fights in a pointless war, another meaningless battle in the vast field of other meaningless battles in the course of history. He watches his brothers-in-arms lose hope, lose their lives, and wonders. How ironic, he thinks, for War to lose interest in war.

It's there that he meets Death, Death who is oh-so-beautiful and ethereal. Death has always been beyond human grasp and untouchable, and in his human skin, Jinguji Jakurai is even more so. Rio watches with wide eyes and disbelief as Death hurries around in the medical bay, saving and healing as many soldiers as he could, his fellow doctors working alongside him to do the same.

Meeting Death was an experience in itself, and also a reminder that the other harbingers also existed. War had rarely ever thought of the others, though War had been more prone to run into the others, it was merely in passing. In the end, he doesn't meet the others until years later, not until Division Rap Battles begin and the start of the H era.

When Japan is called back from the war, Rio moves away from society. Maybe it's because he's so human now, maybe it's because he's seen to many good men try and fail for their ideals, but Rio is tired. He's tired of noise, of people, and of fighting. He watches as his former platoon fight against the new government and instinctively already knows that they will fail. The itch of war has not returned and Japan will remain peaceful for some time yet, Rio knows.

When Mad Trigger Crew is formed, Rio spends little time thinking about it. His agreement comes from the small, aching desire for fighting that War always felt, albeit now overshadowed by Rio's exhaustion. Samatoki and Jyuto, Rio finds, are entertaining. Their personalities clash, but both are so very easy to rile up. If Rio happened to just terrify them into submission via his so-called 'survival cooking,' well, that was no one's business.

Funnily enough, Rio meets Famine on accident. The man is wandering around, hungry and lost. Famine ("Arisugawa Dice," Famine grins, so much more wild and somehow just as viscous as always, "Nice ta meet 'cha!") has always been a bit more cruel then the others, but there's a wildness in his eyes that wasn't there before. Rio quietly feeds him and sends him on his way, neither commenting on how different War is now. Dice is unnerved, Rio knows, but chooses to ignore it. If the man asked, Rio would answer, but until then, he would stay silent.

He doesn't meet Pestilence until the rap battles, and even then, Jyuto is with him and Pestilence has another boy with him, his younger brother if Samatoki is to believed. Pestilence had always been the kindest of all of them, and now in a human skin, Rio sees that Jiro is no different. Fighting him on the battlefield of the rap battles will be fun, he thinks. In the end, they don't exchange names, they don't confirm identities, but that's okay. The harbingers would always recognize each other, and now was no different.

The world marches on. Rio never says it out loud, never mentions it to the others, but oftentimes, he wonders why they were dragged into this soft world. There is no need to fight for one's survival or a constant war to fight. It's peaceful. It's a bit strange, to be surrounded by nature and calmness rather then war and bloodshed, but Rio is happy. Rio was happy with his little campsite, with knowing the others are fine, with Mad Trigger Crew.

When the apocalypse comes - when, not if - Rio would return to his role as War. It was his duty and purpose. He would usher in the apocalypse like he'd done so many times before.

(The one bad thing about the quietness of the forest is that Rio cannot distract himself from his doubts. Could he truly usher the apocalypse during Samatoki and Jyuto's lifetime, should it come? Could he really stand aside and watch as they died? If they died from war, the war that the apocalypse always brought with it, the war that War would incite, Rio wasn't sure he could ever forgive himself.)

Death

Jinguji Jakurai was born into the darkness of the underworld. It's nothing new to Death, the cruelty of humans, and while amusing at times, it is nothing surprising. They teach the newly reborn Death the best ways to kill a person, to take out targets without hesitation. Death knows that his casual indifference to killing is unnerving to many, especially in a child's body, but he does not care.

The truth is, Death is indifferent. Whether mortals were to live or die, Death does not care. They fear what they do not know, but Death has always been. It can be patient and it can be callous, but in the end, Death can be kind. Jinguji Jakurai cuts down his targets with ruthless efficiency, as painless and quick as possible.

It's not until he's a bit older that he begins to meet humans again, begins to be reminded why humans were so fascinating. Each one so different and fragile in their own ways, Death quietly fell in love. Death's love couldn't truly be called love though, and neither did he ever call it that, but it's then that for once, Death choses to save these mortal lives instead of reaping them. (Jinguji Jakurai writes down on his high school career form that he wanted to be a doctor. Beside him, Amaguni Hitoya does the same, but for completely different reasons.)

Death had always known that the other harbingers were reborn as well, as his domain over death extended a bit to rebirth as well. He leaves them be though, for there is no apocalypse and therefore no reason to interact with the others. It's not until he sees War again during the war that they're actually closer then he thought they were. Busujima Rio, Jakurai sees, may be War, but becoming human has changed the being. It's actually a rather exciting realization, for none of the others had ever truly been mortal before. Not like Death. Jakurai felt a spark of interest in seeing what had become of the others for the first time since before their rebirth.

After the war, after the change in eras, Jakurai is left wandering Shinjuku. The TDD had broken apart, and feeling emotions that he could only describe as hurting, Jakurai meets Doppo and Hifumi. It's... strange. He forms Matenrou, creates a place for them, smile unwavering and kind. He knows what they call him, what the world calls him (saint, kind, holy) and the irony of it all is oh-so very amusing.

He sees Pestilence and Famine again during the rap battles. Pestilence, Jakurai notes, are as kind and sad as ever, fittingly in a body of a child for their gentlest member. Pestilence may have brought pain and drawn-out sadness, but in the end, the boy was the kindest and most understanding of the all (after all, he was one of the lepers, of the outcasts).

Famine on the other hand is just as different as War is now. Maybe even more so, Jakurai muses. The harbinger was now more wild, more playful then before. As he watched Famine taunt and play around with the other members of his division, Jakurai finds himself glad that the boy had found himself to belong, even if it was with Amemura Ramuda.

They're all unnerved by his profession, Jakurai sees, and it amuses him quite a bit. Maybe he is a little bit tired of only taking the lives of mortals. Maybe he does find a bit of sadistic joy in knowing that it was Death that saved their lives, but in the end, Jakurai wasn't spilling. It mattered none to him, because after all, all mortal beings will return to death, whether they fear him or not. Death could patiently wait his turn, for Jakurai would save as many lives as he could.

Life moves on. Time marches forward. Humans are born and others die, but Jakurai continues doing what he knows. There's a bit of wonder sometimes, if this was the doing of a higher being, if the fates was setting something in motion, but Jakurai ignored the thought. If it was truly the work of the fates, then things will happen when it happened, whether he wanted it or not. He was content with Matenrou, content with his job. Jakurai would take his happiness where he could.

Death was constant and Jakurai would always exist as long as there was death. The apocalypse might appear one day, it might not, but it did not matter to him. He would do his duty as he had done so since the beginning of time.

(Jakurai closes his eyes to the possibility of losing Doppo and Hifumi. Death was inevitable, but some came sooner then later. He might not know if he could truly reap their souls should their time come too early, but should they live long, happy lives, he would send them off to the next world with a smile. Death is inevitable, Death is unavoidable, and in the end, Death is patient. Everyone will die one day and Jakurai would patiently wait for when life ceased to exist. And then Death too, would finally die.)

[yokelish]

Rhetorical.

This is not easy-peasy-lemon-squizzy. This is difficult-fucking-difficult. 

I hate myself for the person I am because my first reaction was “that’s a drag, I don’t remember much of the manga already”. But then I remembered complex human relationships is nyom-nyom-nyom. And so fell in love with working on it more and more as I went. So here you go, @gogolparadise​

Unfortunately, I am one of those people who doesn’t blame Ango for Oda’s death. My blaming scale looks more like this: Gide, Oda, Mori, everyone else. I blame Oda for Oda’s death, mostly. And there’s no denial about who shot Odasaku in the first place. But Ango isn’t blameless. He done fuck up.

I won’t write how and when Dazai sabotaged the airbag, I am sure even he wouldn’t know it either. P L O T. The scene between Ango and Dazai unfolded differently in manga and anime. And I like manga’s version better. I rarely use Japanese respectful suffixes like “san” and “kun”, but here….it’s sorta important.

✏ Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs ✏ Characters: Dazai Osamu, Ango Sakaguchi  ✏ Word count: 2,166 ✏ Warnings: none? 

Rhetorical.

He couldn’t deny the fact that having a gun in his hand felt distantly pleasant. The power and control that came with the weight in his hand would add more pleasure to it. But the weapon was oddly light compared to his memories of handling one. It wasn’t loaded. A good decision: a smart and safe decision. If Dazai couldn’t trust himself, he could trust in the distrust people have for him. And no one would know that better than someone he once called a friend. The two loyal guard dogs wouldn’t be able to stop him if that’s what he wanted. The resting blade against his neck only sharpened that tiny thrill coursing through his veins. It was bringing up old memories of having his life on the line every other day. The sound of raining shots, the lightning bolt shine of it, the heat of the muzzle afterwards. And the lingering smell of gunpowder. Unloading the gun was the smartest decision his once-friend had ever made. Because Dazai also couldn’t deny the fact that when it was aimed at the back of Ango’s head, it felt invigorating.

“What on earth made you think…” Dazai asked calmly. “…that I had forgiven you?” He didn’t regret asking. The question didn’t need to be answered. There was no need to have a conversation about that part of history. After all, there was too much to forgive, and Dazai didn’t even start on it. But asking had to clearly state where they stand.

“I was the one who cleaned your record when you fled the Mafia. If anything, you are the one who owes me,” Ango replied, unfazed by the threat, and even sounding a little exasperated.

“Alright.” Dazai easily dropped the threat, the aim of the gun, the feeling coursing through his veins. “The gun isn’t loaded. You knew I’d do that.”

A hand was offered to collect the empty weapon. “I am glad you catch on so quickly.” The man in glasses offered a calm, collected smile, with a little amusement traced in the lines of his face. Dazai would roll his eyes at this if the man wasn’t so obviously looking. Credit given where its due, Ango wasn’t slow on the uptake — always deceitfully sharp. But Dazai didn’t appreciate proximity or eye-contact. Least of all he wanted to grow an appreciation for Ango’s quick thinking, stoic and neutral approach, and overall efficiency. He remembered the man from the past too vividly, and separating those images was harder than it should have been. Liar. Traitor.

“If we are not rekindling our old friendship,” Sakaguchi spoke again, more hesitantly this time. “…What do you want?”

How eloquent and bold it was to say that there was something to rekindle between them. When a torch goes out, you look for a fire to light it again. You don’t wet the cloth and chop up the wooden stick. And you sure do not let the torch burn to ashes. If so, there was nothing to rekindle.

With his back to Ango, Dazai allowed himself to smile. The half-masks he knew how to transform and switch seamlessly. His goals were for him to know. Ango would find out soon enough. The bandaged man shifted his smile into a childish grin. “Oooh…” He patted the roof of the car. “You government men drive fine cars, eh?”

The government man graced him with an unamused stare. A sharp look of a man who didn’t want his car touched in such manner. Pity, really, that should be the least of his worries. Government men drive fine cars, but there are many fine cars in this world.

Ex-Mafia rested his elbow on the car if only to gauge a reaction out of the man he once made a mistake to call friend. “Care to go for a drive?” Dazai didn’t regret asking. The question didn’t need to be answered.

Fine cars indeed… For what those government men got those fancy cars Dazai could only guess. “It’s your job to keep those skill-oriented crimes in check, isn’t it? You mustn’t shirk your duty like that.” He spoke leisurely, enjoying, savouring. There was something sickeningly amusing in the ease of the situation. The tension that was visibly lacking in the air. Ango’s safe driving befitting of a good citizen. The calm Dazai couldn’t help but feel. He almost felt guilty about it, too. The calm that comes with the knowledge of what’s to come. And yet, by all canons of the world, it should not be as easy as breathing.

“We have been keeping tabs on the Guild as well,” Ango finally gave a reply fitting for a government man. A limited, careful answer.

Dazai’s interest was piqued by the narrowness of such words. “You knew…and you simply let them be? Do I have that right?” He knew he did. The question didn’t need to be answered. But he didn’t regret asking, he savoured it without guilt.

“Unlike you, Dazai-kun, I believe in an honest day’s work,” Sakaguchi answered evenly, never taking his eyes off the road. “Do you even know what kind of kind of group the Guild is?”

Dazai could guess that this feeling inside him was glee. There was nothing compared to the feeling of knowing and seeing through the deceit of others even if that deceit was a delusion for one’s self. He cared little for the games the government played, he just despised them. He cared not for the power the Guild possessed, he just wanted to beat it.

“Oh my, wait a moment,” the bandaged man said. “This discussion is taking a strange turn.”

“This is politics, Dazai-kun.”

That’s an exceptionally fine carpet word for lies, deception, manipulation, power play and the like. Perhaps, it was a matter of perception, the things one believes in. If perception can stop you from seeing the world upside-down, if it can grant you the vividness of colours and appreciation for abstract, then it surely must be able to install a belief in the greater good.

“…to grant immunity to their members…”

Like Ango believing in an honest day’s work. Or Atsushi believing in his own worthlessness or that saving people will justify his existence. Like Kunikida upholding his ideals stronger than any other man alive.

“…truly, above the law…”

Perhaps, it was all about the installed moral compass within a person. The lines one draws to walk a straight path. Those constructed margins of morality that should never be crossed lest the world changes its meaning or loses it completely. Dazai’s compass had been broken for the longest time, he could admit that much. There were too many bold strokes beyond the margins: crosses, stains, incomprehensible lines made in indifference and irresponsibility.

“…they’re surveilling our little conference even now…”

But, truly, how morally superior is the government handling the bizarre world of skill-users compared to the Mafia? He couldn’t be the one to judge and tell. He couldn’t understand.

“Dazai-kun, start running away. Now.” The urgency in Ango’s voice brought him back to the oncoming reality. Whatever emotions were hidden behind the glasses, Dazai couldn’t press into his memory. The mind was too preoccupied. He pressed back into the seat — a response of his body to the upcoming and unavoidable danger. The thought of dying had never once scared him, but pain, broken bones, and the like — loathed.

“Run, and tell your agents that danger will find them soon —” It didn’t matter what the answer was. There was no need for it.

If there were indeed parallel worlds — an infinite number of possibilities of the current one — then it could be different. In another world, perhaps, it could be different. They could have never met and, thus, never had their past shared. Two perfect strangers to each other — two parallels never meeting. In a different world where the events unfolded differently, where they still met, became friends and met in a bar with, preferably, a similar menu. In a world where he didn’t die, they could remain forever as they were back then. Dazai would feed them his terrible tofu and talks about suicide. They could eat and drink together while sharing nonsensical stories. There would be no guilt or regret. But that would have to be a different world.

In this world, Sakaguchi Ango, a government agent, successfully infiltrated Port Mafia and then Mimic. In this world, Sakaguchi survived in the Mafia and climbed the ranks. In this world, he had successfully pretended to be a friend to Dazai Osamu, youngest Executive in history, and Sakunosuke Oda, the lowest of the ranks. He done so not out of necessity but because he could. In this world, Sakunosuke Oda was dead, killed in confrontation with Mimic. Ango’s betrayal of the Mafia didn’t matter in the least. After all, Dazai had done so too: even he wasn’t such a hypocrite. In this world what mattered was the death of a man who didn’t get to write his novel. In this world, Dazai Osamu wasn’t a better man to forgive. In this world, ex-Mafia held grudges despite knowing the regret of another.

If he were in a different world and was a different human being, he would understand the necessity for the flowers when visiting a hospital. But he wasn’t, and he didn’t really understand it. Nonetheless, he had done it. A man who believes in honest day’s work deserved that much, at least.

“Why, hello there, Ango!” Dazai’s chirpy voice carried through the ward. “How are you doing?” With a bouquet and a basket of consumable goods as visiting protocol dictates. And a bright friendly smile, of course. “Well, you look lovely,” Dazai lied effortlessly, seamlessly. He had done so not out of necessity but because he could. “I have a fine story for you!”

It was in the very same bar where the three of them met that he witnessed it: regret. Sakaguchi Ango, a government agent who infiltrated Port Mafia and climbed the ranks, expressed regret. Perhaps, that alone was the thing that steadied the Executive’s hand. That, and Odasaku’s presence. Unfortunately, there was no more Odasaku to steady the bandaged Executive’s hand. Only the words of a friend now gone to guide this ex-mafioso.

It was much later that Dazai truly saw the guilt behind the round glasses. It’s much easier to recognize guilt in others when experienced. He couldn’t tell if it was cleverly hidden from others or if Ango had hid from himself.

“Thirty-five count murderer?” the bedbound man asked, unsurprised. Dazai was a visitor but he sure wasn’t a good one after eating from the basket. According to him, that’s what he planned. According to everyone else who could be in the room to pass judgement: selfish, inconsiderate, and even mocking. He didn’t do it out of necessity but because he could.

“Murder is murder,” Sakaguchi stated simply. Dazai remained a patient listener despite how easy it would be to probe at wounds unhealed, to uncap the bottled regret, to stir their shared but erased past. He knew full well what murder was. So did Ango. But the thing about murder and death is that it often was accompanied with guilt. And guilt was a disobedient spirit: it didn’t follow you because you murdered, it followed because it could. For all that Ango did, for all the lies and treacherous moves, Dazai knew one thing for sure: in the moment it mattered most he had nothing to offer Odasaku to cling to. In that vital moment all he could offer were pitiful words that wouldn’t even convince a child. If he had to live with the guilt of it, he would.

“…if you seek other help…I’d be glad to do that.”

“Is that so?” Dazai asked, getting up from the chair. That was all he needed to hear. The task was accomplished. “Well, I’ll be back.”

“Dazai-kun.”

That stalled him at the doorway.

“I am accepting your offer of treatment in exchange for support. So just tell me one more thing.” Sakaguchi Ango was deceptively sharp as ever and just as calm. “When we were struck by that mystery vehicle, the airbag on my side alone failed to inflate. Would you happen to know the reason?”

Just as Ango doesn’t put his regret and guilt out on display, Dazai, too, had trick to hide his darkness. If guilt was a disobedient spirit, then darkness was a parasite set on self-destruction.

Oh, he hoped to make his once-friend regret the question. For it would be easy to hide the smile with his back to Ango. It would be equally as easy to switch one smile for another. But there was no need for that. Whatever it was he hid, the other would soon find out. Dazai allowed himself to smile with sincere darkness of his mind and offer it to the man who betrayed him. There was no need for an answer.

[vanegranbluefantasy]

absolutely 0 of my friends want me to write an essay about how paimon is just a worse version of vyrn, so i'm going to do it here

the essay is under the cut if you want to read it

1. intro

First and foremost, who is Paimon? And by extension, who is Vyrn? How are they similar, and why would I want to compare them?

Paimon is from the game Genshin Impact, a popular RPG game that has been going around in the eastern gaming community. It's quite fun to play, but I got bored of it fast, but that is off topic. Paimon is a character that is introduced to you at the very beginning of the game. She's a in-game tutorial character, and also shows up in the game's pause menu. Even outside the pause menu, you see her a LOT in the game. The main quest has her talking quite a lot, and in character side-quests she acts as the main character's companion.

Moving on, Vyrn is apart of my favorite game right now: Granblue Fantasy. If you don't know what Granblue Fantasy is, it's a mobile game that came out in 2014 and is still quite popular today. It is a more visual novel based with an focus on teambuilding over combat. Back to Vyrn, he's also introduced to you at the very beginning of the game, and also acts as the in-game tutorial (somewhat, there are other characters who also guide you through the beginning of the game, but he is the one the player starts off with). Similar to Paimon, Vyrn is with the main character wherever they go, and although not apart of the pause menu, he has dialogue in many, if not the majority, of quests.

Both act as the mascot of each game, which makes each a better sell. They are both cute characters that are supposed to draw people in, which is why they're introduced within the first few seconds of each game. However, they're similarities go beyond that. Although their dialogue is not too similar for me to say that they have the same personality, they most certainly are both strange beings that float/fly, and go with you EVERYWHERE.

Why am I comparing them? The purpose of the essay is to see why I love Vyrn, but hate Paimon. You see, when I started playing Genshin Impact, I have already put months of my time into Granblue Fantasy at that point, so when I saw Paimon in Genshin, I said to myself, "Oh, this girl is cute. She reminds me of Vyrn! How fun!" Now, after putting hours into Genshin Impact, I've found myself to just despise her dialogue. First impressions are everything, but Paimon became more of a thorn in my side as I played through the game. Therefore, I'm here to analyze why.

2. Vyrn and Paimon's relationship to the player

Vyrn and Paimon's relationship to player is extremely interesting to me, and could be the reason why I don't like Paimon as much as I do Vyrn.

Paimon is introduced to the player immediately in the game, which is not a bad thing. Generally, every game has a tutorial stage to help the player figure out what to do and how to play, but Paimon is not a typical tutorial character. In many games that I've played, most tutorial characters are mentor types, and Paimon is not that. Paimon also does not know what this world is and is effectively exploring it WITH you -- not guiding you. This is not inherently bad, since the introduction is not what ticked me off about Paimon in the first place, but later on, it might become clear why I find this a sticking point.

Vyrn, in another game, is introduced very differently. He is introduced as "your best friend" which on it's own is quite weird, considering he's a flying lizard, but you're apart of a new world, anything could happen. He's been alive for an amount of time, so he generally knows what is going on. Not exactly a mentor type, but he gives much more clarity of the world the player is in, at least in comparison to Paimon. In the introduction, he gives a very clear picture of what kind of person the main character is and their backstory. Honestly, I came to trust him very quickly, despite him being a weird little monster.

These introductions in comparison seem really similar, which is why my initial reaction to Paimon was "Oh, this is Vyrn but again."

Now, what I find interesting is the beginning of conflict in both of the games.

Vyrn is introduced almost immediately. There is a beginning cutscene of the main character reading a letter from their father, and then the player meets Vyrn, who comments about the main character reading the letter again. This gives a backstory with Vyrn almost immediately. He knows that the main character has the asperation to get to the land of the astrals, and he wants to help to get main character there. It is only after this scene does conflict start: the Este airship covering the sun.

Paimon does not have this backstory. The initial cutscene in Genshin Impact is vague, to say the least. However, it immediately tells the player the conflict: the main character is searching for their twin. Paimon is not apart of the conflict whatsoever. Making her an outside entity, the main character does not express their troubles to Paimon as they explore this new world.

This marks a key difference in their introductions. Since Granblue Fantasy started the conflict WITH Vyrn, it caused me to be more attached much more quickly. It was clear through Vyrn's actions that he would stand by the main character's side no matter what happened. However, Paimon does not have that same connection. Since Paimon is not apart of the conflict whatsoever, I found a lot of my friends (who haven't played Granblue Fantasy) distrust her very quickly. Some jumped to the conclusion that she is going to be someone evil at the end of the story, and I don't blame them. So far, the only person the player can trust is the twin.

By making Paimon an outside entity to the conflict, it makes her very quickly a potential danger. However, with Vyrn being apart of the conflict, makes him a trustworthy ally.

3. Dialogue

Since the main characters of both Genshin Impact and Granblue Fantasy are self-inserts, someone needs to be able to talk. In Genshin Impact, Paimon is the stand-in to talk for the player, and in Granblue Fantasy, Vyrn is in a similar position. However, their dialogue itself is very different.

Vyrn and Paimon both create nicknames for people, which is why it's very easy to compare the two of them. Vyrn likes to give all of the crewmates nicknames, and none of them seem to mind it. Paimon also gives nicknames to the people her and the main character meet, but it feels less like a joke and more as an insult, calling her nicknames "ugly" and feeling bad when she finds out the nicknames she gives are to important people.

Vyrn's nicknames are generally playful like "Lop Ear" and "Sir Burnsalot," but can get insulting like "Miss Batter-For-Brains" and "Clefty." However, none of the people with the nicknames seems to mind it, despite him saying it very loudly and to their face.

However, Paimon keeps her nicknames almost to herself, as if she's doing them in secret. "Tone-Deaf Bard" and "Guhua Geek" are two of a few of these nicknames. None of the people recieving the nicknames seem very happy about being called that.

Don't get me wrong, both Paimon and Vyrn are being really rude by giving out nicknames to random people, but it's the reactions from the one's receiving said nicknames that gives clarity of the nicknames' true intentions. With the Granblue Fantasy crew not necessarily minding it and Genshin Impact characters getting angry, it becomes clear why the nicknames are created.

Both Vyrn and Paimon talk a lot of both of their respective games, but how the react to the this new world around them that tips the scales of me disliking Paimon.

Vyrn explores the new islands with you with little to no knowledge of the next island the player will fly to, and his reactions to each island are generally pretty on par with the player's. For example, going to an island that covered in mist, he's generally pretty cautious, expressing it in his dialogue.

However, Paimon keeps commenting on the obvious. Her dialogue is almost annoying because it is so obvious. I defeated a boss and she said something along the lines of, "That's it? Where's the treasure?" when there is clear newly-opened door on the other side of the room. The dialogue during the story is not as bad, but I find myself angry at her whenever she speaks anyway. Her comments don't add to the tone or the gameplay. They just frustrate me.

All of her comments and general rudeness make me really angry. She doesn't fight, and she doesn't seem like the one who would fight with me! She's only there to tag along with you, for some unknown reason! Her vagueness makes her worthless to me as the player.

4. Conclusion

The fact that Paimon does not seem like the type to go through thick and thin with the main character makes her frustrating to be around. Her introduction decided her fate of the annoying character that everyone continues to call "Emergency Food" rather than her name.

She's just annoying once you get to a certain part of the story because the constant reminder of her being an outsider is at every corner. She has not once mentioned a THING about the main conflict (finding the main character's twin), and even if she goes through the entire story if the player, she seems like she would run away from the final boss, if she herself ISNT the final boss!

Vyrn at least is like "Oh shit! Time to fight!" and generally is concerned about the main character's health and well-being. He's not much help in a fight, but at the very least he'll express that you need to heal. Vyrn is as much in this conflict of finding the asterals as the main character. He's a trustworthy ally, despite being rude sometimes.

In conclusion, despite being very similar, Paimon was sentenced to me hating her since the beginning because of her placement in the game's main conflict. Vyrn's placement in Granblue Fantasy's main conflict made him a much more trustworthy ally as the game continues.

Sorry for the spacing issues. I'm on mobile. Thanks for reading tho.

Play Granblue Fantasy, it's a good semi-visual novel. Plus, the mascot character isn't as annoying as Paimon.

[nobodyfamousposts]

Missing Interlude - Plagg

So remember when I said that the Missing Interlude was just a one time thing?

Yeah...my muse disagreed.

Contrary to popular opinion, Plagg was not simply the lazy and foolish kwami that most people believed him to be. Sure, part of that may be his fault, as he wasn’t about to go out of his way to correct people’s assumptions about him if he didn’t need to. After all, if people think he’s lackadaisical and silly, they tend to not expect much from him, which worked doubly in his favor in either convincing people to leave him alone or allow him the element of surprise if they wouldn’t. After all, most people generally didn’t worry whether he was plotting to kill them if they thought he was simply sleeping most of the time.

Plagg…admittedly hadn’t had many good wielders in the past. Fu referred to them as owners, but the very thought of the title grated at him something fierce. By their very nature, cats weren’t ‘owned’. They would stay with people. Go to those who fed them or treated them well. But they claimed their humans, not the other way around.

Even if that weren’t the case, most of his wielders had been…not the best of people. He joked about Hawk Moth and didn’t take his akumas seriously because honestly, how could he? It was ultimately the equivalent of a child playing with toys in comparison to some of the things he had been forced to do. He pitied Nooroo for his current unfortunate situation, certainly. The butterfly kwami was gentle by nature and while he wouldn’t wish such misuse on any of his brethren, Nooroo was especially sensitive. But it still said something that he found himself envying him more.

Cartoonish characters who made people burst into song or controlled birds were always preferable over serial killers, war mongers, and so-called ‘visionaries’ that saw fit to topple an entire nation to rebuild it to fit their ideals.

Atlantis was a joke. The Leaning Tower was an accident. The dinosaurs…well, those jerks actually had it coming. But still, each incident was almost minimal compared to the acts caused by some of the people he had been unfortunate enough to be discovered by over the millennia. It was part of why he played up his destructive and cat-like tendencies for the monks when he’d finally been retrieved, if only in hopes that they’d seal him up so he’d be left alone for a few centuries and just not have to deal with any of it.

There was a part of him that questioned Fu’s wisdom in sending him of all the kwamis out to face Hawk Moth. Especially when his power was one of the two that the villain was specifically after.

Ladybug made sense. Tikki was practically built for purifying, healing people, and undoing damage. Like a cosmic reset-button that allowed the akuma battles to be a temporary disruption of the norm rather than a literal matter of life and death. And sure, Tikki was always willing to be useful.

But Plagg had wanted to sleep. He had wanted to be left alone. He wanted to NOT be reminded of things he really REALLY wanted to forget. And he couldn’t even have that.

Cheese was a nice distraction from these darker thoughts—as well as part of the reason he demanded it so often since he knew he had a chosen who could manage it. Yet strangely enough, his chosen had also started to become a good distraction in his own way. An annoying one at times, sure. But a good one. It was why he even put up with listening to the kid waxing poetic about Ladybug. That plus the realization that the Ladybug he was crazy about was actually his little girlfriend who was secretly just as crazy about him?

Gold. Pure gold. It was like a movie that practically wrote itself!

At this point, he was honestly just waiting for the day the two finally had the big reveal for themselves just so he could imprint their expressions in his mind for the next century. Maybe even millennium. His only wish was that he would have a camera when it happened that he could show the rest of the kwamis.

Plus he knew Tikki would love it, even if she would lecture him for it.

Still…

Adrien was a good kid. He regretted not being able to trust him fully because he was at least somewhat certain that the boy wouldn’t follow in those ever darkened footsteps of his predecessors, but…

He sighed internally.

Plagg liked Adrien, he really did. But Adrien was young and immature in a lot of ways. Sure, he was a hero now. But would he stay that way? The future was always left to be determined. There had been a lot of Black Cats before Adrien Agreste. Too many that had gotten his hopes up only to let him down in the end.

Maybe that was why he worried so much for his current holder. The way that Adrien opened up to him so quickly and easily was less a testament of their bond and more indicative of his desperation just to have someone he could talk to.

Plagg couldn’t help but pity the kid. It was also why he didn’t try to fight the way the kid started to grow on him, either. Even despite the puns. And the lovesickness. And his at times stupidly over the top gestures and complete disregard for his own well being that Plagg was going to break him out of mark his words!

Adrien still had a lot of growing to do, and for all that Plagg let his impulses get the better of him, he was also surprisingly patient—in this case patient enough to help Adrien grow and give any sort of nudge the boy may need to do so. Because he knew the boy had potential.

The problem was the numerous stumbling blocks that were getting in the way.

There was his father—and stars, how Plagg despised that man. Always watching but never there. The undeserving focus of a completely one-sided relationship. If Adrien’s passivity and other “quirks” were signs, the fact that the nightmare Sandboy conjured for Adrien was a cage was practically glowing neon.

There were also the other girls who kept clinging to him, giving his boy the impression that he was not allowed to have personal boundaries. That not making other people upset mattered more than making himself heard when they did something to make him uncomfortable.

There was the overfilled schedule that stole away the precious little time Adrien would have to find himself and just enjoy life before it was over all too quickly. Humans were such short-lived creatures, after all…

There were the regular akuma battles. And Hawk Moth. The constant danger they and Paris as a whole were constantly in.

And then there was this latest upset…Marinette’s “disappearance”.

It was…strange. He honestly didn’t know what to think.

Plagg had known that Marinette was Ladybug since Dark Owl. He’d gotten a good long laugh out of it, too. Later. Much later. Couldn’t let Adrien in on the joke too soon, after all.

Watching those two dance around each other became a whole new form of entertainment that it took everything he had at times to not burst out into uncontrollable fits of laughter.

It also had the other side effect of making him want to bang his head against a wall most days because his current wielder was so oblivious it was downright painful at times. It hurt when he watched the kid be so blind to how much she adored him. And then there were the instances where she all but TOLD him—gaah! He was starting to understand why humans loved romantic tripe so much. It wasn’t the ooey-gooey kiss-fests, it was the anticipation of when the people involved would finally get their heads straight so they could bonk lips the right way.

And wasn’t it just hilarious that both his kid and Tikki’s were pretty much their own rivals? Even their own worst enemies in keeping them from getting together? Well, hilarious and frustrating. It really depended on the day and the antics involved.

Of course, the other problem was that the antics involved had started to be other people.

Chloe was one thing. Adrien wasn’t interested but they were at least friends. Whatever feelings of affection she had could be tapered off and tempered with time. She would likely even try to support Adrien more if she knew. And the girl had…at least somewhat started to grow up. Ladybug was a surprisingly big help with that, given how much her civilian self was often on the receiving end of the other girl’s cruelty.

Kagami was…interesting. But really little better in the long run. Less antagonistic, sure. Not nearly as harsh or cruel. But she was just as aggressive and controlling, from her demands for a duel with Adrien and insistence on winning when they first met to talking over Adrien at the ice rink. He would grant that she at least respected him and didn’t infringe on his personal space, but she still saw his passivity for what it was and took it upon herself to step in on his behalf—or what she thought was his behalf at any rate. Adrien already had enough of that in his life. What he needed wasn’t someone to make his decisions for him, it was someone who would encourage him to make his own.

That was why he had been rooting for Marinette. Even if she hadn’t turned out to be Tikki’s newest bug, she would be good for him. She had dreams about him, certainly, but any of her plans seemed to at least involve taking his kid’s feelings into account. Whatever lengths she went to in order to get his attention were less about pushing him to go her way and more about just trying to push for a chance to go the same way together. It was endearing. A little cringy at times, but overall endearing. And it had seemed they were finally making progress after the Heroes Day incident. 

But then there was Lila…

Oh, he had a few choice words for Adrien after the whole Volpina incident. Blindly following the new hero over his own partner? Overlooking how downright impractical it was for her to take out a meteor that literally NOBODY saw coming before it reached the earth and was closing in on the city? Ignoring his partner’s very valid suspicions and writing her off as jealous for not wanting to trust a supposed ‘hero’ they only just met? FLIRTING WITH HER?!

Ladybug’s behavior towards Lila may have been harsh, but Adrien damn well KNEW better than to immediately take her word at face value. He’s been around socialites and the power-hungry ‘elite’ for Tikki’s sake! Best friends with Ladybug? Fox Miraculous? Descendant of the Fox user? Adrien actually KNEW Ladybug and about the Miraculous! How was he actually BUYING any of that? How did he not clue in that Lila was the reason his book was missing? And the way he looked so disappointed when Ladybug revealed the truth—to the point of being more upset with Ladybug for outing the girl rather than the girl for lying in the first place?

This kid was too kind and trusting for his own good. And it was probably going to be the death of Plagg just from the sheer stress of it all. Honestly, he could feel his fur thinning out because of it.

It seemed like it was a short lived problem since the girl left soon after. But then she came back. And worse than ever, being akumatized at least twice more since then. One of which involved putting Adrien in an enchanted sleep that Plagg only just got to avoid kissing him out of. The other which involved witnessing Adrien…disappearing in a way that Plagg was still having to try very VERY hard not to think about at risk of revisiting other less than pleasant memories thankyouverymuch!

It made one thing clear: Lila wasn’t just a pest. She was a threat. One he really wanted to see gone.

So it was really no surprise that Plagg wasn’t happy about his kid choosing the ‘moral high road’ in this situation, since the poor idiot didn’t understand what the high road was even supposed to be. It was so easy for him to say, especially since Adrien wasn’t the one really being affected by the lies.

No, it was clearly Marinette being affected, and she was also the one Lila seemed to have it out for since she, at least, was willing to call the other girl out on her lies. Adrien thought that staying quiet and keeping his head down was the best option because for him, that’s how any conflict was resolved. It was a bad habit that Plagg had been hoping to break him out of, but that progress was slow going. His passivity was too strong and only bolstered by his relentless optimism and belief in others as well as the way that others would tend to push him down.

Plagg sighed. The kid just didn’t get it. This class of serial liar and manipulator couldn’t be dealt with by letting her continue unopposed.

So he understood at least why the Ladybug girl had been so upset. And he even sympathized with her, he truly did. But she was the sort of person to meet a challenge head on, and if an attempt failed, she simply looked for another way to deal with it. She didn’t bow her head. She didn’t turn tail and run away. And though there was conflict and it was having an effect on her, things were hardly so bad as to warrant an extreme reaction.

Like say, having her civilian self “disappear”.

If he hadn’t known she was Ladybug, he would be confused. But with that knowledge of her identity…he was only more confused. He didn’t understand why she was pretending to be missing.

Had something happened?

Was she in danger?

Did someone discover her identity?

Sure, maybe being Ladybug full time might be more productive, but given how protective she was over her civilian life, he couldn’t see her simply giving it up if she didn’t have to.

He didn’t buy for a minute that she would simply pull a vanishing act for the hell of it, even if her classmates were being mind-numbingly stupid. He knew he’d said before that these people were blind, but to just automatically accept all those tales was sheer lunacy! They certainly deserved some sort of reprimand, but not by making them think their friend might be dead! And even if they did, she would never do it to them.

The girl took her role as Ladybug seriously. Other than a few missteps, she treated the title with all the caution and importance that it warranted. He’d met her in person as himself, and even had the chance to work with her. He could understand why Tikki felt it justifiable to reveal Fu to her. And as much as he wanted to think well of his kid, he couldn’t deny that of the two of them, she was the better suited for handling the secret and bearing the responsibility that came with it.

So what happened?

When he first discovered she was still out and about as Ladybug after hearing that initial report, he wanted to forcefully end the transformation and confront her outright. He even considered slipping away when Adrien was busy and tracking her down to get some answers. Because Plagg may be patient, but he really needed an explanation for this.

He stopped, feeling that tingling energy of a Cataclysm waiting to happen and realizing that he was getting worked up again. He took a breath and forced himself to calm.

Observe first, Plagg reminded himself. Stalk your target. Watch. Wait. Gather information before making a move. Something had to have happened to warrant such a drastic change. He needed to find out what was going on.

And if she was doing this for giggles?

They would be having words.

[martincart]

andrew pls!! for the shipping meme!!

Oh boy! oh boy! I’ll try to be brief for these answers because honestly … they’re like 4? (Yes, many ships for Andrew …)

SEND!

Andrew x Wolf ( … Andrwolf? ) : OK! I KNOW THIS ONE IS STRANGE! Because the only people who have spoken or written about the relationship between the two is that it is based much more on rival brothers or mentor-student (and those who despise Andrew, well, for them, Wolf does not care about Andrew).

And honestly? I love that idea in they dynamic! The idea that Andrew has a fascination hidden by Wolf and that he wants to be cool like him is really nice. And that Wolf shows affection to Andrew and really wants the best for him is also nice

But if you ask me in the ship sense? Clearly the relationship is or would be platonic love, and more on the part of Andrew. At least in my fanfics, Wolf is so focused on his work that he does not really see the feelings of the heir, or he already has an affair with Leon or a strong crush for his old rival (James). Besides, Andrew is still young (18 years old) and still behaves like a young boy. Wolf would only see him as a younger brother or mentor, and nothing more.

But I must say it in a few words? Andrew is a young boy in love with a man who clearly does not see him as such, but as a mentor.

Even in fanfics based on Assault-command? both would still have a Platonic relationship, especially because Andrew would not forgive Wolf for throwing him out of the team or not helping him during Assault events, or because Wolf would have a relationship with Fox.

(I’m talking too much, sorry, these are just ideas that I have in future fanfics, but let’s continue with the others).

Andrew x Fox ( ….Andr…fox.. Androx… ) : (Again a platonic couple? Andrew has many platonic couples, I warn you, lol) Also this has been a guilty pleasure, but also one that could be interesting?. Honestly, the two are not so different in stories and both could have an interesting story together.

Both have blood relationship with two characters with a strong enmity: Fox is the son of the hero, James McCloud. Meanwhile, Andrew is the nephew of Andross, the main villain in the history of Starfox, and the greatest enemy of the entire planet Lylat. 

This two, being young, have a huge responsibility in their hands, one being leader of his father’s team, and the other being the heir of his uncle’s empire.In other words: Both are young people who have an important role in their lives, having to show that they can or will be great leaders for their allies.

Apart, their different personalities? They would be a funny one to explore. Fox being a boy cocky but sure young man, and Andrew being a boy trying to be quiet but with obvious problems of anger and patience, but trying to teach who is the best. A tender rivalry, in other words.

Even the idea that Andrew and Fox have been classmates in college is cute too! And honestly, your concept of that idea was very pretty and tragic for them, but an interesting one!

In conclusion: The idea of ​​its dynamics makes me think a lot that could have a funny or interesting relationship. Clearly Platonic, of course, because Andrew would not teach love to the enemy, and Fox knows that neither of them will come to anything because of the war and the enmity of their relatives. But I also imagine that Fox could show his love for him by making jokes or mocking comments to Andrew.

(Although that would be more based on 64 / Zero / starlink, because it is impossible to imagine your relationship in assault or command, unless you have some inspiration in some future).

Andrew x Slippy ( Andry… i’m okay with that name ): This was my first ship with Andrew, if I’m honest, and it’s all the fault of the Japanese fans! (Because Western fans do not ship Andrew with any character … - mostly). Ok, but seriously, Andrew and slippy, compared to the other members of Starfox and Starwolf, seem to have no personal rivalry. If something Starlink taught us is that Slippy has no problems being rough with Andrew, but in a more “meh” sense, and they do not decide to insult each other for personal reasons.

Slippy does his job, and Andrew only fights in the war for his beloved uncle Andross. Both show to be the comic relief member of each team and they are also young (although we do not know the true age of Andrew in the canon).

And I’m totally in favor of those headcanons of the two fighting over things as stupid as anime-manga discussions, totally nerdy things or even totally normal things like little fights that end with the two crying like the sensitive guys they are!

And already talking about the two as ship, well I think that both could have this relationship of Andrew being a total tsundere with Slippy, and Slippy would try not to be so bad with him and want to be more than anything,  Andrew’s friend! because he knows that he is not so bad and does what he does for his uncle.

Ignoring the war and that both are from a rival team, Slippy would be a totally tender boy with Andrew (although he would have his complaints with him if he does not know how to behave) and Andrew would show some tsundere behavior with him, but deep down he thinks he is very cute boy!.

ah! I do not want to expand too much! But I’ll just say that I like the couple in the most buffoon or tsundere sense … and yes, this would be platonic too, but what can I say? Amanda and slippy is otp and the best canon ship of Starfox.

( at leaaaaaast… Slippy x Amanda x Andrew 3TP, OK NO! ).

And finally….

Andrew x… Fay Spaniel? : NO! NOT BAD INTERPRET! This would be more than anything a crack ship that once thought to be totally bored in school xD.

I had the stupid idea that since many fans like to think that Fay has a blood relationship with General Pepper (being her daughter, niece or granddaughter), and considering that Pepper had a friendship with Andross before the war, he wanted introduce a little Fay to a little Andrew during a visit at work. Pepper  hope that the two could get along, while Andross … he just wanted his moment alone to keep working while his little nephew gets distracted by little Fay.

And when the two were older (say, before, after or during the Command events) they are both forced to go on a double date with Dash and Miyu (and why are these two?) Well, I like the idea that Miyu likes tender boys, and Dash is the only tender guy without a partner who knows … and again, this was a crack idea while being bored at school!!!). 

At first Andrew and Fay get very bad about their differences and about the war, but after a long time being alone, both end up getting along pretty well, and they start having a relationship … that could end up in any love ? who knows. Besides, this would only be in an AU or fanfic where Andrew decides to live as a normal person or decides not to follow in his uncle’s footsteps.

In addition to their different personalities (Fay being a sweet but brave girl and Andrew being - or imitating - a bad boy with obvious anger problems), the idea of ​​a relationship between a dog and a monkey in Starfox is nice as a concept.

AGAIN! This is a Crack ship and If you want to call me crazy for liking such a relationship concept, you have the right to tell me in the face lol.

———————————————————

And I think those are! I had thought to add another couple but it is Canon x Oc, and honestly, I think it would reveal a lot in my future Starfic / Venom fanfics, but who already knows what the couple is about, already knows that it is the most romantic for Andrew ( and honestly, my second fav one is Andrew x Wolf 6w6u )

I’m sorry if this was too long, and I do not know if you understood me correctly, but I hope you like the answer! Thank you very much for asking!

[cinnbar-bun]

the second i saw you write for gbf i died!! is it alright if i request yandere sandalphon headcanons? like how he is with his s/o, how he is with other people about his s/o, etc... (you dont have to if you dont want to!!)

this is sandy anon!! sorry to bother you akdkfl but i forgot to add if the s/o can be danchou? thanks!

A/n: Fam…send me more GBF asks please I THIRST for these amazing characters. And I kinda assumed cuz usually I do the avatar of a game unless otherwise stated so I gotchu (p.s. if you guys also want the avatar to be a specific class I can do that for you too!!) Can I also add…I joined GBF like BARELY A MONTH AFTER WMTSBII ENDED IM PISSED I COULDA GOT HANDSOME COFFEE TSUN BUT INSTEAD MY THIRST WILL FOREVER BE PARCHED UNLESS THEY RERUN IT (Cygames…fam… buddy… please… just gimme Sandalphon)

Yandere! Sandalphon Headcanons:

WARNING: THESE ONES ARE A LOT MORE HARDCORE SO JUST TO BE SAFE I WILL PUT A READ MORE UNDER IT FOR THOSE SENSITIVE TO VIOLENCE. I DON’T THINK IT REQUIRES AN NSFW LABEL, BUT IF IT DOES, PLEASE ASK AND I WILL TAG IT ACCORDINGLY!!

SORRY LAST COMMENT SOME SPOILERS AHEAD

Sandalphon had not loved someone as deeply as he did you. Sure, Lucifer was his best friend, someone he considered akin to a brother. But after he lost the one thing in his life that mattered, he had met you. 

A primarch…in love with a human? It was a strange feeling, one that made him ache worse than when he lost Lucifer. Nothing could compare to the absolute madness that took over him than being in your company. It was such an agonizing yet, somehow strangely blissful feeling. 

He wanted everything. Everything you had to offer, he would take. He had to keep you close. There was no way he could bear the thought of losing you, the one thing in his life that had given him some sort of meaning after losing everything else. 

He would do anything to keep you close. It was an insane obsession he had, an image of you he had created in his mind. 

You could abuse him and ruin him, he’d worship you all the same. But he knows you would never do that to him. You’re too nice. Too pure, too heavenly. 

He wishes to keep you that way. The problem is, you’re human. You make mistakes sometimes, flaws and imperfections and all. He compares you to the image he placed on you. He sees they are two totally different people. 

And he despises that

The one rational conclusion is that this is no fault of your own. He doesn’t accept that idea because you are human, so you are already inherently flawed. No, he comes to that thought because he thinks the others are ruining you. 

“Those filthy creatures keep hurting you, (Y/n).” 

He says it in such a gentle tone, you almost get lost in the promises of love he had given you. But the insane look in his red eyes tells otherwise. This is not love. This is not even normal. 

He tries to shield you from them. He slowly takes up more of your day. You lie to yourself, saying he’s just grieving. He needs time. He’ll return back to normal. 

He doesn’t. The comments get more odd and unsettling with each passing day. 

“Join me, darling…away from them, away from this disgusting place..”

“Didn’t you say you loved me? Did you lie to me? Did you lie to primarch?” 

It messes with you. He makes you feel guilty for hanging out with others. He knows what he’s doing. He wants you to loathe them as much as he does, so you have no choice but to stay with him. 

But you relent. You beg to see your friends. 

As punishment, he locks you in your room. You are allowed to see no one but him. 

He lies to the others, claiming you’re sick. 

Lyria knows he’s lying. She doesn’t feel sick, so you mustn’t be. She tells this to the others, getting worried about your safety. 

Rackam is the first to say something. He quickly calls out Sandalphon for his odd behavior and yells for him to tell him the truth. 

Sandalphon stares, before laughing loudly. 

He would not allow these tainted, fallen spirits to ever ruin you. That’s what they were going to do. 

Before Rackam can bat an eye, his body limply falls to the ground. Blood covers the deck, and the others can only stare in utter horror. Sandalphon seems all too pleased at his work and stares at the others with an insane look in his eyes. 

They are no match for him. One by one, they all fall. You can only hear the screaming from your room. You don’t know about the bloodshed happening outside. 

He spares only Lyria, knowing that your lives are connected. But she is left with a broken spirit and mangled corpses surrounding her. 

You can hardly think before he opens the door and sweeps you into his arms. He doesn’t respond to any of your questions, instead taking you up into the sky. 

He doesn’t let you out of his sights. You are a prisoner in his own demented version of hell. 

He cooes to you softly about how you are so special, being taken care of by a primarch is a big deal. He softly strokes your hair and cheek, smiling even though you don’t respond. 

“Darling, I brought you breakfast. Coffee and eggs. Ah, I see you haven’t eaten your dinner from last night. This is the third day you skipped meals. You know I don’t like when you do that. Perhaps it’s better if I feed you it~?” 

You don’t respond. You don’t have a single thought. You just stare blankly at the floor, too scared to see what you have become. 

He is overjoyed to have you in his presence even if you don’t look at him. It just makes him more in control of your life.

As you see it, this is your own paradise lost. There is no love. There is no life. It is just emptiness.  For the rest of your blank, meaningless life, he calls you his angel, his own paradise. It’s too late to stop him now.

[internethorrorfan]

Commentarypasta: Childhood parts 1, 2 and 3 (originally posted on Deviantart in 2017)

The first was story was pretty bad, wasn't it? But at least it was short. We won't be so lucky this time, boils and ghouls. I don't know if I'm doing the whole thing but there'll be at least 2 or 3 parts of this. Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this story... Childhood by Miss Megaheart Prologue: You are a pig! A filthy, disgusting, horrendously fat pig!”

“Says the woman who gave birth to that disgusting thing that people expect us to love!” Why'd you even carry it to term?

"Is it my fault she’s that terrible? Have you forgotten that she is a combination of the two of us? She is ugly, stupid, and disgusting because she’s your kid too!”

“Shut up! She can hear us!”

“She’s just a dumb kid! She doesn’t understand what our words mean!” Spoilers: She really shouldn't but she does anyway because this story is stupid.

They were wrong. Entirely wrong. You Oh this an X reader by the way. I think you can figure out my opinion on such stories based on the "Anti Creepypasta X Reader" stamp on my profile.  But if you want an elaboration: I think almost all X reader characters are either too specific to for someone (aka me) to fully insert themselves into and/or aren't specific enough for people to care about them otherwise. From now on all unnamed/ x reader characters in stories I riff are referred to as "Mary Sue". For obvious reasons. heard every single word and, despite your young age, you knew exactly what it meant. Spoilers: Absolutely no you did not. Though they usually seemed so nice and caring to you, when you weren’t with them, they would say the meanest things.  And you don't tell people about this because...? In case you don’t know who “they” are, I’ll tell you. Oh I know who They are. Really bland and forgettable. Your parents. Yes, that’s right, it was your parents who screamed their hatred for you loud enough to reach your room. Well who the hell else would they be? Every night, you would lay in bed, listening to their ranting about how much they hated you while you silently cried yourself to sleep. CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWLING IN MY SKIIIIIIIIN! It had been like this since your third birthday, which was only a few months ago.  I'm sorry, what? She's only 3 years old and she's able to comprehend all this crap? We're a paragraph into "Childhood" and I 'm already regretting my life decisions. If only I wasn't being held at gunpoint to riff bad creepypastas on the internet... You never knew why they hated you, Because having things like "character motivations" is something good writers would do. only that you knew they did. But, sadly, you had no choice but to absorb the hate and love them. No. They were your only family and, well, any family is better than no family. Right?  It is literally impossible for a 3 year old to be thinking like this. Plus, while 3 year olds are stupid, they aren't stupid enough to think their parents being abusive is normal. Little Sue here should be scared of her parents because they yell all the time, not be ignoring it and acting like nothing is wrong and that they're a normal happy loving family.  And does adoption not exist in this universe? Soon, the yelling stopped and the house went silent. You yawned and went to sleep, one last tear falling down your face. THESE WOUNDS THEY WILL NOT HEAL! ~Timeskip to the next morning. “Hey mama? Where are we going?” “We’re going for a walk in the forest sweetie.” “Okay mama.” Mary Sue knows her parents despise her, she shouldn't be acting so cordial around them! Your dad was driving the car on a beaten dirt road. This should have the beginning of the paragraph. Also why didn't Sue ask them where they were going before they got in the car? Occasionally, you’d hit a few bumps which made you bounce in your seat. I'm sure this is a completely necessary detail. There was nothing but forests, flowers, bushes, and other forms of nature for miles and miles and miles. The first miles was enough, thank you. Plus "forests, flowers, bushes and other forms of nature"? This is one of the most redundant sentences I've ever read. You held tightly to the family scrapbook your parents were working on since you were born Why in God's name would your parents ever bother making a family scrapbook if they hate each other and you? and your (animal) plush. You were getting bored and wanted to go back home, Back home to the endless shrieking of your parents about how they literally wished you were never born. but you were far away from any civilization and in a moving car, Thanks for telling me she was in a moving car, I thought she was in an alien spacecraft the whole time. so therefore, you had to sit. After a few minutes,  "After a few minutes" from what? Since you left the house? Because if it's only been a few minutes Mary Sue shouldn't be this bored and they shouldn't be "far away from any civilization" unless they were already out in the middle of nowhere. the car finally stopped in front of a path. Your parents got out of the car and opened your door. Chapter 1:

“(Y/N), do you have all your stuff?” Who said that?

You nodded your head as you grabbed your stuffie It was a plush a few sentences ago. What's the significance of the stuffed animal/plushy anyway? To make her more "KAWAII DESU OMG!"? and scrapbook Why does she need to bring the scrapbook? Does the scrapbook serve any kind of narrative purpose? and followed your parents into the forest. There were all sorts of wildlife and nature. Nature: "the phenomena of the physical world collectively, including plants, animals, the landscape, and other features and products of the earth, as opposed to humans or human creations". Saying "there were all sorts of wildlife and nature" is like saying there were all sorts of people and humans. It was the type of forest you’d see in a fairy tale or Disney movie. It was very pretty. I got that it was pretty when you compared it to fairy tales and Disney movies! Soon, your little legs began to get sore from all the walking How long have you been walking? because you’re only 3. Then act like a three year old and not like someone in middle school. Lucky for you, there was a nice spot for you to sit down. A flat, large rock to lean on and an oak tree to keep you shady right next to it. You literally could have just said there was a large rock to sit down on. Nearby was a bush with little round red berries. As opposed to triangular berries. Your dad stood in front of you as you sat down. “Now (Y/N), stay here while mama and daddy go get some smacks PROOFREAD. from a store. If you get hungry and you eat all of your (fave meat) you can eat some of those berries.” He pointed to the bush and you nodded your head. He handed you a bag with a few cookies, Why did he give you cookies if he wants you to eat those berries after you finish your meat? a bottle of (fave juice), and some (fave meat) in a container. They already gave her some meat to eat and they're telling her they're gonna get snacks from the store! How much food does this kid eat? Why are they even giving you food at all if they hate you? You smiled at him They hate you and you know that! as he and your mother walked down the path. “Buh bye!” you cooed cheerfully. This one sentence is pretty much the only time 3 year old Sue acts like a 3 year old. Still, she shouldn't be this happy, loving and comfortable around people who yell and scream all the time, especially since she's the smartest toddler ever and completely understands everything around her including her parents hating her and wishing she were never even born.

~Parents POV~

“We finally did it. We finally abandoned the brat.”  Why didn't you put Mary Sue up for adoption right after she was born? Gee, it's almost like these are 1 dimensional caricatures of abusive parents thrown into the story for the sole purpose of trying to make our main character more sympathetic or something. “Yes! Plus she’s so far in the woods no one will find her!” “It was genius to tell her to eat those poisoned berries!”  Why did you give her extra food to eat then? And why'd you tell her to eat it last? Just give her the poisoned berries right off the bat and tell her to eat them. Or just shove them down her throat if you're gonna kill her. Your parents continued gloating about how you were finally out of their lives forever as they started the car engine. Right before finding puppies to kick and orphans to eat, I imagine. Your dad took the wheel as they steered out of the forest…Leaving you behind… Really? I couldn't have figured that out myself! Chapter 2: You started to get a little scared now. Your parents left when the sun was high in the sky, also called noon. Just say they left at noon! The sun was starting to go down now, making it darker and eerie shadows distort, "Making it darker and eerie shadows distort"? Did that make sense to you when you wrote this? almost like they wanted to claw at you. You had just finished all the food in your bag except for the (fave meat) So you're full and you have something to eat for later? Why are you treating this as if it were a bad thing? and you only had a little bit of (fave juice) left. That’s when it hit you hard. The truth you found started to make you cry. Most 3 year olds are still working on learning their colors and shapes and "Childhood" would have you believe they have the same intellectual levels as 5-8 year olds. The truth is… Nirvana is a vastly overrated band. Your parents aren’t coming back. Tense swaps! Hooray! They abandoned you completely. Yeah, I got that. You heard a rustling in a bush and you turned your tear stained face in the direction of the rustling. A strange thing came slowly towards you and stared. It had pale skin and had long claws. It had sharp teeth and it was the size of you, because you are a 3 year old kid who was abandoned by her family.  If anyone knows what this sentence is supposed to mean I'd be glad to hear it because I sure as hell don't. It didn’t scare you though. You didn’t know why, but you just weren’t. A pale skinned monster with glowing eyes, sharp teeth and long claws doesn't scare you but being alone for a few hours does? “I… Am… The… Rake…” the strange thing said as it studied your frail body, like how an owl might look at a mouse. What the hell kind of simile is this? Do owls commonly eat mice? You sniffled before you told “Rake” your name. You assumed that you weren’t scared because you were too sad to be scared.  I'm seriously having trouble fathoming how someone at some point could think "too sad to be scared" was not only an actual possible thing but also something good enough to put in their story. “So… Hungry…” Rake said as he stepped closer to you. You peered into the bag and grabbed the (fave meat) container. You opened it and put it in front of him. Just because you're not scared of someone doesn't mean you like/trust them! Sue couldn't trust her parents so why would she trust a literal monster the first time she lays eyes on him? He looked at it, then back at you, then back to the meat. He took a small bite, testing the taste, followed by viciously chewing, mauling, and eating the meat. Using three synonyms for the same thing in the same sentence does not a good writer make. You watched him, unsure if you should stay with him You have no reason too. or run away and try to find a way home. You chose to stay, hoping he wouldn’t hurt you. Remember kids: staying with someone who might hurt or kill you is better than being alone. He licked his lips. “Thank you (Y/N). For that, I will not kill you. So giving the Rake food stops him from attacking you? Someone should tell these guys. What are you doing here anyways?” Why do you care?

“My mama and daddy left me behind.” You started crying again. "Now who's going to verbally abuse and neglect me?!?"

You stopped when your stomach growled loudly. You just finished eating! You got up and picked a handful of berries. You ate the entire handful, dropping a few. You dropping a few berries is completely pointless information. Rake was confused, About what? How this author can't tell the difference between toddlers and little kids? but after you ate the berries, he realized what you did. He screeched for you to stop, He seriously cares about the safety and wellbeing of a random toddler he met a few moments ago just because she gave him some meat for no reason? only he was too late. “THOSE WERE POISONOUS!” You looked at him, confused. “Daddy said I can eat these "The daddy that screeches his hatred and disgust of my very existence every night told me I could eat these! Why shouldn't I trust him?" berri- GACK!” You started to almost vomit and you felt your insides fill with overwhelming pain. You coughed up a puddle of blood as your breathing became gasps for oxygen. Rake started getting scared. What is it with creepypasta fanfiction and popular CP characters becoming attached to the OCs the very instant they meet them? The Rake of all characters shouldn't give one iota of a crap that some 3 year old he just met is going to die from eating poisoned berries, especially since by his own admission he was going to kill her.  “Slenderman! Quick! I need your help!” he screeched.  Soon after, a tall man in a suit with snow coloured skin and no face stood behind him. The man looked at the sight. A little girl She's a toddler not a little girl. , on the ground, practically dying, and Rake, panicking. I, don't, think, this, sentence, has, enough, commas, do, you?

“I’ll take her back to the mansion. You grab her stuff.” he said as he picked you up. And Slender Man cares about Mary Sue because...?

You spat up more blood while losing consciousness. Leaving everything black... Chapter 3:

While you were passed out, you dreamed of the day you questioned you mother Proofreading is not a polite suggestion! about her love. “Mama?” “Yes sweetie?” “Do you love me?” “Of course we love you!” “But you always say mean things.” 3 year olds don't even know what their ass is for and this author thinks that they can fully understand all words and their meanings with complete clarity. “It’s only about other people named (Y/N).” “Okay mama.” Literally the beginning of this story said Mary Sue could understand everything her mom and dad said and knew they despised her. This was the first draft wasn't it? You were suddenly brought back to reality. Your head was really hurting, "Really hurting"? That's seriously the best description you can come up with? along with your chest and stomach. You looked around the unfamiliar room, searching for any life. There stood the man you saw before, and Rake. Rake looked somewhat relieved, Because he just knows you so well. while you couldn’t tell how the man felt. He shouldn't feel anything at all about you.

“Is she okay Slenderman?” Neither of you should be even remotely invested in this girl's life. 

“Yes she is. But she needs rest. That was a dangerous dosage of poisonous nightshade berries. Any child knows to stay away from those.” Because all children, especially toddlers, can identify poisonous nightshade berries on sight.

“Before I called for you, after eating the berries, she said her father told her that she could eat these.” The first nine words of that sentence could be completely removed and the story would have been better off for it. The man called Slenderman Just say Slender Man. would’ve had a shocked face, if he had one that is. Has Slender Man never heard of abusive parents before? You were on top of something soft, which turned out to be a bed. JUST SAY SHE WAS ON A BED! You were crying. I think I might have used "Crawling in my skin" a little too early. Not because you were scared, because you weren’t. You're a 3 year old who's been abandoned by their parents in a large unfamiliar place, you've been almost poisoned to death, and you've seen a literal monster that admitted he was going to kill you and he only refrained because you gave him something he wanted. You should be screaming and bawling your eyes out in fear and sadness. Piss off with this "I'm not scared" crap. But because you couldn’t believe your parents would let you almost die. They were literally shouting at each other for hours about how much they hated you and wished you didn't exist just last night! And you yourself said this was a regular occurrence! You shouldn't be so shocked! Also, say it with me, THREE YEAR OLDS AREN'T THAT SMART!

Because you wanted your parents to love you. They hated you and you knew that. You shouldn't know these things since you're a damn toddler, but you do, so this is even more moronic. Slenderman noticed you crying. He grabbed a handkerchief and wiped away your tears. Because Slender Man's just such a kind nurturing father figure when he's not impaling the corpses of his victims on trees.

“Now, now, young one. You may stay with us creepypastas.” WHY?!? For what possible reason would Slender Man ever want a three old to live with him? 3 year olds can barley understand the world around them, they can't bathe themselves, some need pull ups to make sure they don't soil themselves, they throw tantrums when they don't get their way, they're too short to reach anything, they can only attend to an activity for a few minutes before getting bored and they need near constant attention to make sure they don't hurt themselves because they're so stupid there are tests showing dogs might be smarter than them. Having a toddler around would benefit Slenderman in absolutely no way at all. Did the Rake convince Slenderman to let her stay by telling the harrowing story of how she give him non descript meat to eat? Slenderman said somehow, confusing you since he didn’t have a mouth. That's the part that confuses you? Not literally everything that's happened in this story? Nonetheless, you didn’t wanna stay outside, and you knew that your parents couldn’t careless Was the backspace key broken when this story was written? about what happened to you.

“O-Okay… My n-name is (Y/N)…”

“Lovely name. Almost as lovely as the forest.”  I have the sudden urge to burn down every forest in sight, don't know why that could be. You heard someone come down the stairs. He looked like Slenderman, except he had a wacky Seriously out of all the words you could have chosen you chose "wacky"? bowtie and his suit was covered in colorful polkadots. He also had a top hat with the same design as his suit and he had a happy looking face. When will people figure out Splendor Man isn't a creepypasta character? The Slender Bros have even less connections to creepypasta than Masky and Hoodie do.

“Brother where is the can- AAAAAAAAAAAWWWWW! Who’s this adorable little girl here?!” he squeeled as he grabbed you and hugged you. Someone's actually in-character in Childhood? Surely this is an oversight by the author.

“This is (Y/N). She was abandoned by her parents and tricked into poisonous nightshade berries.” Slenderman said as he grabbed you and sat you down in a chair. More superfluous sentences! Hooray! You looked at the new guy, All these weirdoes are new to you. who looked like he was about cry. “Who… Who… WHO COULD DO SUCH A THING TO SUCH A SWEET LITTLE GIRL!?!?!?” he cried as he clung to you. Slender Man just put her down! What, did Splendor Man just pick her up again? If so,what was the point of even saying Slender Man put her down? Everyone in the room So glad you established previously other people were in the room with them. What room are they in anyway? stared at him. “You have to stay with us. No she doesn't! Just put her up for adoption! I can’t believe they would do something like that. My name is Splendorman.” You giggled as you hugged him. “Okay Mr. Splendorman!” That was the beginning of your life with the creepypasta family. More like the beginning of the end for my sanity.

Chapter 4: Slenderman and Splendorman lead you upstairs, down the hall, and into a room on your right side. It was a bedroom. YOUR bedroom, to be exact. 

You literally got just here! You can't have a bedroom specifically for you! With a bunk bed! Your parents never let you have one.

Because you’re an only child! There's no reason for you to have a bunk bed! Especially since you're only 3 years old and leaving you on a high place can be really dangerous! You giggled and climbed a ladder leading to the top bunk. Then you fell off, hurt yourself and burst into tears because you're a toddler and toddlers are stupid. Other than that, the room seemed very bland. The walls were white, the dresser was white, the bed sheets were white, and the only thing with colour was a desk that sat in the corner. It was a pale (F/C) colour. A toddler would not be this excited over a boring white room. But hey, you have a bunk bed, those are awesome. Another tense swap!

You yawned a little bit. How does one yawn "a little bit"? It was dark outside and you needed rest from eating nightshade berries and almost dying. All the meandering redundant pointless sentences in this story are really getting on my nerves.

“I’m afraid we don’t have sleepwear but do not worry! We will get them tomorrow!” Splendorman said. All she did was yawn. She didn't actually say she was sleepy. How are going to get pajamas when you're monsters? You guys can't exactly walk into a store. Slenderman did a face palm-err, head palm.(?) Figure stuff like this out before you post chapters of your story onto a public website.

“Okay. Goodnight.” you cooed as your eyes drifted shut. You're a toddler and your primary caregivers have abandoned you and tried poisoning you to death, leaving you to essentially be kidnapped and forced to live with scary monsters you know nothing about in an unfamiliar place. You should be severely traumatized by all this, be terrified and bawling your eyes out, not happily cooing and acting like nothing bad has happened.

~Timeskip to tomorrow~

You had just come home from getting you some clothes and other stuff for your room. Because 3 year olds commonly pick their own clothes and essential belongings. Earlier that day you spent learning about creepypastas Creepypastas are stories, not beings. and their names. You were also told that there were always new creepypastas coming into the mansion. You've been there for a few hours. Everyone and everything here is new to you. Such as B.O.B. Yay! B.O.B.! A lot of people forget about him. He looked like a combination of Slenderman and Rake.

B.O.B. looks nothing like Slender Man at all. But, like all of them, surprising because of how young you were, you weren’t scared a little bit. A toddler isn't scared of real monsters. A toddler. A TODDLER. “Okay now. (Y/N), we will be back in a little bit. We have to go kil-err I mean… Go for a walk.” “Okay Mr. Slenderman!” My brain is melting out of my ears and on we're on chapter 4.

When they left you decided to explore the mansion. You went into the room next to your room and it was empty. Thanks I really needed to know that. You left that room and checked the next room. It looked like another bedroom. The walls were orange with white floors. There was a black desk next to the bed with a red gem shaped light. The bed sheets were red and the pillow was orange. Lying on the bed was a stuffed animal. A fox. It had 2 tails, when you realized that this was a Miles Power, better known as Tails, plush. She went into another room and found the Tails Doll lying on a bed. I just summed up the entirety of this paragraph in one sentence. Why does the Tails Doll need his own room anyway? You loved games What toddler plays video games? And why would your parents, who constantly yelled their disgust of their very existence at you, ever let you play video games? so you instinctively grabbed the plush. Author you don't know how toddlers work. You definitely don't know how instincts work. “Aaaaw. You’re so cute. Something no three year old has ever said. Let’s go play a game!” “No. Put me down child.” Your (E/C) eyes shot open. I thought you weren't scared of anything. You looked at the stuffed fox you were just cuddling. You weren't cuddling it you were holding it. It had a red gem on its head and its eyes were open. It didn’t look amused at all. You put it back down on the bed. “I’m the Tails Doll. You must be the new child (Y/N).” You nodded your head As apposed to what, nodding your nipples? at Tails Doll. You left the room waving goodbye to the doll.

STOP. WASTING. EVERYONE'S. TIME. You went back to your room and played with your (fave animal) stuffie, Miss Fluffy. This is not relevant info in any way shape or form. ~Timeskip to 3 hours later~ “We’re home. Tails Doll, where’s (Y/N)?” “I think she’s chillin’ in her room.” "Bruh!" Slenderman peeked in your room to see you drawing pictures of some of the creepypastas. “Those are very lovely drawings. Coming from a three year old? No they aren't. I’ll put them up on the fridge.” Why was the Rake looking for food in the forest when they have a fridge?  “Okay Mr. Slenderman.” You had drawn Slenderman, Splendorman, Rake, B.O.B, Tails Doll, and you. Because you're just know them so well. I don't think even toddlers get attached to new people this easily, especially when they've spent almost no time with her at all.. And are, you know, monsters. You were a pretty good artist, despite that you were only 3. The scribblings of a mental patient are better than a 3 year old's drawings.. The Creepypasta Family is the best family. Stop the ride, I wanna get off! Better than your real family. That’s for sure. Because a family of monsters and serial killers is truly the highest standard a family can ever achieve.

Chapter 5

It has been 10 years since you joined the creepypastas. You were now 13 This story's called "Childhood" and we've completely skipped her childhood. Wow.

and became Slenderman’s proxy.

Just when I though this couldn't get dumber. 13 year olds are moody, hormonal weaklings who're currently undergoing massive changes in their body and have had little to no time to develop life skills. They'd be completely useless as assassins. Well, one of his proxies. You had met and befriended many of the creepypastas You've met and befriended multiple online horror stories? That's pretty impressive. that have joined throughout the years. The other proxies of Slenderman were Masky, Who is not a proxy or a creepypasta character.  who had brown hair, Tim's hair is black. a white mask with black eyes and lips, and an orange hoodie, An orange hoodie?

Does this look like an orange hoodie to you? and Hoody, who wore a hoodie that looked just like Masky’s Brian's hoodie was pale yellow so even if Tim wore an orange hoodie as Masky they wouldn't be wearing the same thing. and a black mask with red eyes and a red mouth that was always frowning. Just say he has a red frown! This is ridiculous! You would always wear a black hoodie, Because all clichéd uninspired creepypasta OCs wear hoodies. (F/C) gloves, grey jeans, and black sneakers whenever you guys went on a mission. Nobody cares about your damn clothes. “Oi Slendy.' “Hm? Oh, (Y/N). What is it?” “When do I get to go kill something. This question seems to be missing something. I wonder what it is? Also our protagonist, aka the person we're supposed to like, is complaining about not being able to kill innocent people for fun. Also why was Slenderman hiding them murdering people when she was 3 if he was just gonna raise her to be a killer anyway? I mean, I always scout out the victim’s home for Masky, Hoody, In addition to not being proxies or creepypasta characters Hoodie and Masky are also not serial killers. or you to physically and mentally torture and kill. I have never gotten the chance to.” Because you’re 13 years old and too weak to properly do things like that. “Well, you only became my proxy 2 weeks ago. We want to find you a suitable victim. Do not fret child. You will get the chance.” Jesus H. Christ! Proxies aren't people that intentionally ally themselves with Slenderman and do nothing but kill random people! You smiled as you walked into your room, bumping into one of the new Creepypastas, Jeff the killer. I'm wonder sometimes if the people who write these stories think Jeff's full name is "Jeff T. Killer". He had black hair, black eyelids, a huge smile cut into his cheeks, and skin the colour of Slendy’s. You weren’t close or anything, but you two were good friends.  That means you're close. “Hey (Y/N), quit it.”  “Quit what?” “Quit being so clumsy. You dropped a plate of cookies this morning and made so many chocolate chips go to waste.” "Filler: the story" ladies and gentlemen.

“Oh shut up Jeff. You could’ve eaten them straight off the floor.”

“Whatever!” You both laughed as you walked into your room. Over the years it’s gone through some changes. Who cares? first it was all very bland with white walls, floor, and bed sheets. The very last chapter told us that! Now, the walls were a crimson blood colour, Because red and black are the only colors that exist in creepypasta. the floor was a grey carpet, and the bed sheets were scarlet. The desk, dresser, and bunk bed stayed the same, however. Fascinating. You had a bookshelf with manga and other awesome books. Because literally everyone on the entire planet loves manga and anime. You had a love seat, but you rather preferred to call it “2 person sofa”. This story would be 50 times shorter if you excised all the meaningless lines from it. You had a small red coffee table in front of the “2 person sofa”. You had a TV with some game consoles hooked up. So, long story short, you had the best bedroom in the world. This whole paragraph could have and should have been cut from "Childhood" entirely.

There was a knock on your door. You opened it, only to reveal a newer creepypasta, Ben Drowned. Ben Drowned is the name of the story not the character. He's not Ben Drowned, son of Bobby and Betty Drowned, descendant of the great Bartholomew Drwoned. He was about a year older than you, so 14. Ben was 12 when he died. He had blonde hair, black eyes with red pupils, and pale skin. This is not BEN's canon appearance and when will people figure this out? He often wore a Legend Of Zelda Link outfit. As apposed to a Call of Duty Link outfit. You two were good friends as well. In fact, he was one of your best and closest friends. “Sup (Y/N). You know where Tails Doll and Sonic.EXE are?” “I think they’re in the basement with Pinkie. She needed some of that ‘special ingredient’ for her cupcakes, Cupcakes is a fanfiction, not a creepypasta! I don't care that it's on the wiki, the wiki is stupid! so they went and got her some.” “I see. I’ll get them later. They seem to be busy. “Oh! Ben. Slendy has a job for you too. There’s some jerk making fun of us, especially you, so Slendy wants you to teach him a lesson by screwing up his games, electronics. You get the picture.” “Okay. See ya later (Y/N).” As Slenderman’s proxy, you and Masky and Hoody and Slenderman were always busy. It appears this author doesn't know how to use commas properly. Which means you knew about all the missions assigned to the creepypastas So many of these "Slender Mansion" stories mention the creepypasta characters going on "missions". What kind of missions? Are "creepypastas" assassins? Spies? Deeply religious? and helped keep track of all the creepypastas that came to the mansion. So far, you were probably a little less productive in the killing part. Proxies aren't just assassins! They can be but they're so much more than that. Probably because you haven’t had a chance to. But you knew who you needed to kill. You had to kill them before your time was up and it was too late. That sure means something. You wanted and needed to kill your parents. There's no reason for you to do that. At all. You were three years old when they abandoned you, you should barley remember them at all. Chapter 6:

“Slendy. Slendy. Slendy. Slendy. Slendy. Slendy. Slendy. Slendy.”

“WHAT DO YOU WANT (Y/N)!?!?!?”

“I want to go killing. When can I go?”

“Stop whining. Soon you will.”

“That’s too long! He didn't give you an exact time. I wanna go killing now! Please!” Our protagonist is literally begging to murder innocent people and we're supposed to un-ironically like her and want her to succeed. By this point, you were getting sick of waiting and wanted to kill badly. We should want her to do this why exactly? Slenderman would always say “soon”. But to you, right now, “soon” wasn’t soon enough. You didn’t care if that meant you had to kill a mouse. Then kill a mouse. Kill a fly. Kill a small animal in the woods. Just shut up and kill something. You wanted to kill and that was that. Everyday you’d bug Slenderman about it and he was getting sick of it.

“I will leave you in the forest if you don’t stop whining and annoying me.”

“I don’t care. I’ll just find the mansion again. Look, if I can’t kill a human, at least let me kill a small animal.” As if Mary Sue wasn't despicable enough.

Smile Dog’s Glad you established Smile Dog was in the room. Wait a minute, Jeff, BEN, Slenderman, B.O.B., The Rake, Masky and Hoodie get descriptions and introductions but the other characters don't? smile turned into a frown and he looked towards you, whimpering. Smile Dog isn't an actual dog! He's a supernatural entity that looks like a dog!

You kneeled before the dog and stroked his fur. Like 90 percent of CP fanfictions, this story treats Smile Dog as if he were a completely normal dog who happens to have red/black fur and kill people and not a supernatural entity that spreads through a picture on the internet before appearing in people's dreams and telling them to "Spread the Word".

“Not you Smile Dog. Or you Grinny Cat.” "It's a creepypasta fanfiction, I have to be a hypocrite on top of being a psychopath."

Grinny Cat His name's just Grinny. looked at you, then went back to sleep. You sighed as you left to go bug Masky and Hoody.

“Masky. Masky. Masky. Masky. Masky. Masky. Masky. Masky. Masky. Take me to go on a killing spree now. I want to kill someone.” I'm honestly kind of disgusted that this author expects us to genuinely sympathize with this character.

Masky turned towards you. He put the book he was reading down and stared into your (E/C) eyes.

“Sorry (Y/N). Can’t do that until I finish the mission I’m on.”

“Which is?”

“Ignoring you.” You go, Tim!

You frowned and went to your room. You turned on the GameCube and played some Super Smash Bros. for an hour. WE DON'T NEED TO KNOW THIS. You got bored and went to go see Slenderman. “SLENDY IF I WANNA GO KILLING SO HELP ME ZALGO Why do these stories always use Zalgo in place of God when Zalgo's the bad guy in the majority of them? IM GONNA GO KILLING!!” So on top of being a hypocritical psychopath Mary Sue is also an entitled brat.

Slenderman looked at you, He has no face. surprised. He sighed and put away his work. What work could Slenderman possibly be doing?

“You win. Meet us in the garden after dinner.” Now she's spoiled on top of all the other crap. Lovely.

“YES! VICTORY! BOOYAH!” This person isn't even real and I want to deck her in the face.

Slenderman sighed as you danced your way out of his room. Scratch decking her in the face, I want to throttle Mary Sue here. This was not what he had planned.

Not at all. He actually planned for her to become a travelling hot dog vendor.

Chapter 7:

This is it. You finally get to go killing. Stop treating this like a good thing. You grab a katana I'm sorry, WHAT? Where the hell did you get a katana from? Out of your ass?

and ran right to the garden as soon as you finished your dinner. There were Slenderman, Masky, and Hoody. You were wearing the outfit you usually wore on a mission. Why do fanfic writers think long, drawn out descriptions of people's clothes are the most exciting things in the world? A black hoodie, grey jeans, (F/C) gloves, and black sneakers. I'm pretty sure you already established this but I'm not going back and checking. You had the biggest smile on your face as you approached your teammates. You pulled the hood over you (H/L) (H/C) hair.

“Yay! I get to go killing!” Our hero, ladies and gentlemen!

“Yeah yeah (Y/N), that’s enough.” Masky said as he patted your back. You were just so excited that you were shaking as you gripped your katana tightly. I highly doubt 13 year olds have the strength and dexterity to properly pick up a katana. Even if they did they'd have to go through absolutely exhausting training in order to use it. For cryin' out loud, there's an entire book's worth of rules for the thing! Slenderman grabbed onto the three of you with his tentacle appendages Because...? and teleported you outside a small brick house. You peered into the window to see an empty living room. It was dark inside, so you knew the person who was living there was asleep. The living room having it's lights off doesn't mean the person living in the house is asleep. You had taught yourself sneaky ways of entering and escaping locked rooms Did Slenderman regularly leave you in locked rooms? ever since you were 5, so you quietly pried the window open with ease. With what? You had learned that you shouldn’t open doors more than the amount of space needed to crawl through, in case there was an emergency. I know how to do that! Most people know how to do that! That's not a special skill in any way. You slowly crawled through the window Carrying a katana? and closed it, giving the others a thumbs up. You looked around the house, finding a stairway. You slowly walked up, katana in hand. There was a small bedroom. You slowly opened it, revealing a middle aged man. You approached the man, raising the katana above your head. You slowly inserted the katana into the man’s chest. Katanas are made for slashing, not stabbing. You'd ruin it by using it that way. There's videos of people breaking katanas by just swinging them. He began to scream loudly, causing you to smile. After you pushed it in halfway, you took it and slit the man’s throat with it. Katanas are not that precise. You sat on the edge of the bed as you watched him die painfully. I'm pretty sure that would have killed him instantly but what do I know?

~Masky POV~

Me, Slenderman, and Hoody stood outside the house. There's no reason for any of you to be here. (Y/N) had been in there for about 10 minutes. I heard a man screaming. More likely in pain and fear. I started getting really impatient. I know it’s her first kill, but it only took Jeff on his first kill a stab and it was done. Ignoring the awful grammar, in the creepypasta nobody else was there when Jeff killed his family so how does Masky know how fast it took?

“Slender when can I go inside? (Y/N) is taking too long.”

“Wait. This is her first kill.” These stories always treat murder as some rite of passage or requirement amongst creepypasta characters when creepypasta in general is about horror and not killing. How does killing random people accomplish anything anway?

As if on cue, (Y/N) crawled out the window, blood halfway up the katana Jeff had given her a few weeks ago. So JEFF was the one who pulled the katana out his ass! Now it makes perfect sense. She had the biggest smile I ever saw.

“So… How was your first kill ever?”

“It was awesome Masky! That guy almost started screaming like a girl Almost? but he sure was loud! And he seemed to squirm a lot. But other than that it was awesome!”

I was actually kinda glad she enjoyed it. I don’t have a crush on her or anything, but we’re partners and friends. It's good thing you don't have a crush on her since you're 26 and she's 13. Why even bring up the crush thing at all? Spoiler alert this doesn't lead to anything.

We look out for each other. I gave her a high five as Hoody gave her a pat on the back. I'm 100 percent positive the one who wrote this doesn't even know what Marble Hornets is.

~Normal POV~

Slenderman teleported you back to the mansion. Once you got inside, everyone cheered! Ben floated next to you and gave you a bro fist. It's called a fist bump. They threw you a party in honor of your first kill ever. Is there a fandom that glorifies murder more than the creepypasta fandom? If so than count me out. There were cupcakes, ice cream, cookies, chips, punch, (Slendy made sure it wasn’t spiked) She can murder innocent people for fun but God forbid she drink when underage. popcorn, and candies. You had never seen Jeff eat that much ice cream before getting brain freeze. I've never read a more meandering time-wasting filler-ridden story like this in my life. It was quite a party. You flopped into bed It was quite an amazing fun interesting party anyway enough of that. and looked at Miss Fluffy, your (fave animal) stuffie You're 13, you shouldn't be calling it a "stuffie". Plus we already know this! since you were a baby, who always sat on your shelf since you turned 8. This is such an important detail. You slowly closed your eyes as you drifted off to sleep. Chapter 8: It’s been 3 years since your first kill. WHAT?!? You mean that last few chapters was utterly pointless? Why am I not surprised! And seriously nothing noteworthy happened in 3 years? It was only a month until your 16th birthday. You had become an official creepypasta. YOU. WISH. Your CP name was (CP/N). You still remained as one of Slendy’s proxies. You were told by Slendy that he was bringing in ANOTHER proxy of his. You did some research and found out a little bit about the new guy. His name is Toby Rogers, aka Ticci Toby. Dear Creepypasta fandom: Ticci Toby is the name bullies used to make fun of him in middle school it's not his proxy name or killer name or whatever. He apparently had Tourette Syndrome which caused him to twitch, and C.I.P.A, which meant he didn’t feel any pain.

Today was the day he comes 'Nother tense swap. to the mansion. You had to be up at midnight to prepare for his arrival. For what reason?

You were sleeping soundly when you felt someone gently shake your shoulder. You heard what sounded like Masky. You looked and saw that he had climbed up to the top bunk that you always slept in. Tim's in his late 20's, he doesn't need to climb to the top of a bunk bed to reach it.

“(Y/N) wake up. Time to get ready.”

“Mmf… Okay, okay, I’m up…”

You really didn’t like being woken up, but if it was important, you made an exception. You sat up and stretched as Masky left the room. You decided that you should be allowed to just wear (F/C) pyjamas, This person doesn't know how to spell pajamas correctly and they're writing about serial killers. so you walked out of the hall. There was the sound of the clicking of buttons and music in the room next to yours. Ben’s room. ‘Huh. He’s probably just playing video games.’ Just once I'd like to see BEN from Ben Drowned in these stories and not BEN from Pasta Monsters. you thought as you made your way downstairs. Masky and Hoody were trying to figure out what Toby would like for breakfast.

“Toast?”

“No Hoody. How about english muffin?” Just the one.

“No that isn’t a good idea either Masky.”

These guys are your friends and partners, but sometimes they’re friggin’ clueless. Because taking time to make decisions makes you clueless apparently.  Evidently you had to worry about it because you were the one who searched up what type of food Toby likes. Who the hell gives a damn? And that food was pancakes and waffles.

“You guys are my friends. Mary Sue having friends is the most unrealistic part of this story so far. But sometimes you guys are morons.”

“Well is it my fault we don’t have waffles (Y/N)?”

“Masky you are lazy. We may not have waffles, but we have pancake ingredients.”

You grabbed the ingredients and made some delicious chocolate chip pancakes. You made sure to make some for Masky, Hoody, you, and Toby. So you ended up making lots of pancakes for everyone. Then just say you made pancakes for everyone. As soon as placed the last pancake on Toby’s plate, Slendy His name is Slenderman! had come back with the new guy. You had your back turned with your headphones in, listening to (fave band). Slendy used his appendages to take them out.

“(Y/N), meet Toby. You two will be working together from now on. They have no reason to.

Toby had brown hair and dark brown eyes. His skin was really pale. He extended his hand, smiling with pure white teeth. You shook his hand.

“Hi. I-I’m Ticci T-Toby. Toby would NEVER call himself that. J-Just call m-me T-Toby.” Slenderman already introduced you anyway.

“Hello Toby. I’m (CP/N). But you can call me (Y/N).”

“Are those…?”

“Yes. In honor of your arrival, I made us pancakes.”

Toby’s smile got wider. You smiled sweetly as you sat down at the table. There any reason you sweetly smiled besides clumsily setting up the forced cliché romance between these two? No? That's what I thought. Toby sat next to you, digging into the stack of pancakes you had made for him. In almost a second they were gone. 'Man that boy loves pancakes.’" you thought as he got up to put away his plate. Slendy looked at the 4 of you. He sighed.

“One of you is going to have to share a room with Toby.”

“I can’t. Me and Hoody You ever notice how in these "Slender Mansion" stories Tim and Brian always call each other Masky and Hoodie and they never take their masks/costumes off even indoors? are enough people to sleep in the same room.”

You suspected that it was that they must’ve been weirded out by Toby’s twitching. So that meant you and Toby were officially roommates. No it doesn't.

“I still have a bottom bunk.”

“Thanks (Y/N). Y-You’re really n-nice. You haven't even known her for an hour. S-Sorry for the s-stuttering. I-I’m just a l-little nervous and shy a-around new p-people.” Toby stutters because he has Tourette's, not because he's "shy'.

“No problem Toby. I think we’ll get along fine!” He smiled as his leg twitched slightly. After cleaning up, you showed him around the mansion, introduced him to the others, Shouldn't Slenderman be doing that? even told him about the funny and interesting things that happened to you. Nothing interesting or funny has happened to you. I should know, I've been reading along. You thought it was best to get along if you were gonna work together and share a room.

“So when Smile Dog came here he was only a puppy?” “Yep! He actually looked like a normal puppy, but grew up and looked like him.” I'm calling it now: not only has the writer never read Smile Dog but she's never even heard of the original picture.

“What about Grinny Cat?” Is the writer under the impression that "Cat" is his last name?

“Same went for him. I love how the author rips off Pasta Monsters without even knowing what it is. Except as a kitten. I greatly appreciate you telling us Grinny Cat didn't arrive to the mansion as a puppy.

“You have some cool stories (Y/N). How did you end up here?” Neither of those were cool or even stories.

Oh Zalgo. No. Out of all the questions, he had to ask that one. You looked down from your top bunk that you two were sitting on. A tear fell down your face and landed on the grey carpet. That was 13 years ago. Get over it.

“I… I-I don’t wanna t-talk about it…” you said softly as you wiped away a tear. Toby got the hint that it wasn’t a pleasant story and hugged you.

“Sorry! I-I didn’t know!”

“I-It’s okay T-Toby.”

“(Y/N), if there’s something wrong, just tell me.” You took a deep breath. You turned towards him.

“My parents left me to die when I was 3. They tricked me into eating nightshade berries. Rake What happened to the Rake? I don't think he's been mentioned at all since the 4th or 5th chapter. and Slendy saved me and brought me here. They were much better than my real parents. That’s why my parents are going to die.” You only spent 3 years of your life with your abusive parents, 2 of which you spent as a baby. You should have only the most faintest memories of your parents. You've spent the grand majority of your life with supposedly "the best family" so stop whining. Toby’s eyes were shocked. What does that even mean? His dad may have been an alcoholic and yelled at him, his mom, and his sister.  Toby's dad didn't just yell at Toby, he beat him. Bit of an oversight there. But his dad never abandoned him. Well, not physically. "Being abandoned by your dad is WAY worse than getting beaten up by him on a regular basis!" Toby looked into you (E/C) orbs. You smiled and hugged him, muttering a 'thank you’. You were glad someone was actually there to help you and understood you. You've had tons of friends and family figures for years. Toby is not the first person to "like, OMIGOD, totally understand" you. Shut your damn mouth you whiny entitled emo little brat. That was the first day you met him. You don't say?

And you loved that day. You've known each other for hours and you're already this close? This story is seriously rivaling "A Meet I'll Never Forget" in how rushed yet padded out everything is. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ok guys I think i'm gonna take a break from Childhood for a little bit. This...thing is 20 chapters long and the first 7 chapters are already completly abysmal. The worst is yet to come in Childhood, mark my words. It'll probably a little while before I finish Childhood but rest assured we'll get back to this. In the mean time I'll be riffing some shorter stories.

[californiannostalgia]

Holy Shit Voltron Season 6

They did NOT pull their punches, WOW. This has gotta be my favorite season yet. Emotions were flying, space was beautiful/terrifying, important plot points were coming together, and the action was AMAZING.

*SPOILER ALERT IMMA GONNA START BLATHERING*

1. Lotor: Lotor is fucking insane and the creators played it PERFECTLY. His childhood was obviously one of continuous abuse, and I’m guessing the derision he faced for being a half-breed was worse than we’d thought, because he outright despises the Galra. He doesn't want to hear an apology from the monster that wears his mother's face, and when his father is mentioned, he FLIPS. 

It’s hard to wholeheartedly hate him because we’ve seen the potential for goodness inside of him, but with no one to teach him that genocide or forced sacrifices is wrong, he's grown up warped and twisted. What he did to the Alteans strikes me as especially awful because he genuinely sees himself as a savior of Altea. I think his falling for Allura might have been partly because she was the first sincerely kind being he's interacted with, and partly because his ideals of a perfect Altean future included the Princess in it.

Whereas Zarkon felt like a dark, immovable force, Lotor is intelligent, flexible, and much, much scarier. He fooled the Paladins, his Generals, the Galra, the Alteans—like Lance said, he fooled everyone. If he emerges from that overcharge of Quintessence for a final boss fight, he's going to be utterly terrifying. Madness runs in his family, it seems, and it's rendered more disturbing by the tragic circumstances behind it. Lotor should be proud, though. He has more than outdone his father.

2. Allura: Her Altean magics gave the enemy an impossible advantage, but also saved everyone over and over again. When she blasts Lotor with that crazy amount of Quintessence, a part of me felt disturbed by how sad the situation was. This stupid war is forcing a kindhearted child to push someone she cared about (even if it was a relationship built on falsehoods) straight into madness's open arms. Fuck war, really.

Part of her wanted to save him from becoming even more of a monster, but Allura knows where her duties lie. She doesn't have the luxury of feeling sympathetic towards the enemy. She leaves Lotor behind to his madness. She doesn't even blink at destroying the Castle of Lions, the one last piece of Altea she has left. She's a lion goddess, and I love her.

3. Keith: THAT'S WHAT I CALL CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. Marmora training plus two years in the presence of a solid parent figure and a space pet did him good. When he returned, he came back decisive, hardened, and completely ready for Black. Watching him claim his seat without a moment of hesitation gave me the shivers. The backstory episode was so good, too. This kid loves his fellow paladins with all his heart, and it's great to see his love giving him the strength to save the people that matter to him. Especially Shiro.

Oh, and you know that moment at the end of the fifth episode, when Keith nearly gives up on himself? Not caring about himself is what he does, what he’s used to. But at the last moment, he remembers how Shiro pleaded him not to give up on himself, and opens his eyes. That moment he decides to live is the definition of epic. (Also, HOLY FUCK THAT MARK WAS A SCAR??)

4. Clone Shiro: I can't believe they made us grow fond of the Shiro Clone through the D&D episode (showing off Takashi's dumb nerdy core, god I love him) before pulling the inevitable betrayal. Even though we saw it coming, they made us remember that part of him is the Shiro we love, so that the battle between the two Black Paladins could carry a sufficiently devastating note. 

I now understand why Shiro seemed so obsessed with playing a Paladin. It was because a Paladin is what the Clone was programmed to be, the only thing he knew how to be. Add that to the fact that the last thing the Clone says is Keith’s name? Yeah, the Clone Angst was strong.

5. Shiro: I'd forgotten how good and pure the real Shiro was. His acceptance and encouragement is like hot chocolate. BUT WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN YOUVE BEEN DEAD ALL THIS TIME. WHY WOULD YOU DROP SUCH A BOMB SO MATTER-OF-FACTLY? 

God, I'm ecstatic to have him back, grandpa hair and all. Thank you, Lion Goddess Allura. (Since this means he didn't go through any more suffering after the end of season 2, I'm strangely relieved?) (Does this mean we get a Shiro video diary now?)

6. Hunk: That first episode of him using his understanding of Galra culture to save an innocent planet was amazing. (I also really liked the command structure the team has. They readily defer to whoever has the most knowledge about a given task and follow that paladin's orders. It's a jarring contrast with how Clone Shiro was acting last season. But I digress.) Watching Hunk being a genius engineer in action is the best. I love one sarcastic, pessimistic child who basically has a heart of gold.

6. Pidge: She hesitated once and failed to stop the Clone Shiro from leaving with Lotor. When the Castle is hacked and her programs are being taken down, she pulls out her last resort card. Using that program is tantamount to admitting that she cannot trust her Shiro, and it is a crushing revelation for her, the team, and us. But she doesn’t hesitate again. (Always a joy to see her work her programming magic.)

7. Lance: The rapport Allura and Lance have with each other is the purest thing. He throws himself into harm's way for her and nearly dies. She jumps out of her lion to go help him when there's a radioactive flare moments away from coming into contact with her position. If one of them is sad, the other is there to offer emotional backup, without question. I dig this healthy supportive relationship.

What’s special about his character is that Lance is a solid presence to lean on for the others—whether he’s providing emotional support for Keith, Clone Shiro, and Allura, or taking command in the absence of a clear leader. Funny thing is, he can’t do shit for himself. His self-esteem is getting lower than ever. He openly cried (something he never lets himself do) thinking he failed Shiro. The self-hatred at his own mistakes and supposed uselessness is gonna blow up sometime soon, and I look forward to the day that time bomb finally goes off. 

8. Coran: I could feel his grief for his dead planet, his sense of inadequacy compared to his grandfather. Very pleased that they gave us quality Coran Feels. (Also, Dungeonmaster/Dragon Coran was amazing.)

9. Krolia: Keith's parents fought so hard to protect the universe and their child. I can't forget the look in Krolia's eyes when the memory beam showed her a tiny Keith standing in front of a tombstone.

10. Acxa, Ezor, and Zethrid: They're trying to be loyal to the Empire, trying to save their people. They're being faced with impossible decisions left and right, and I'm curious what they'll be doing next.

11. Haggar/Honerva: She is genuinely sorry to Lotor, but sorry can't erase a millennia's worth of abuse and she knows it. I wonder what she will think when she finds out her son has followed her and Zarkon's descent into madness? I wonder what plans she has in place. (Could she be the final villain?)

12. Team Voltron: Here's the thing. In previous seasons, they were Paladins, yes, but they were still kids. They messed around with cows, made stupid jokes, generally powered through hard battles with the help of luck and sheer determination. But this season, when they charged into battle screaming, shield up and sword drawn? They no longer felt like brave kids going to war. They felt like the motherfucking Defenders of the Universe, through and through. (I didn't think I'd ever be this into a show about color-coded robot pilots. I was wrong.)

The scene where they pack their things to leave the Castle behind communicates the sense that there is no going back for them, that they are permanently changed and will constantly continue moving forward. It’s exciting. I can't wait for them to return to earth as hot badasses and bask in the respect they deserve. (Also someone needs to punch Iverson.)

13. Overall: The gorgeous backdrops, the pacing of the plot, the presentation of the scenes, the action sequences, the sound effects and acting—they were faultless. The soundtrack was great. There were countless moments of pure badassery: Krolia's fight, Keith vs. Clone Shiro, that Pidge-and-Lance tag-teaming action, Hunk's powerup, Voltron tearing a rift into the fabric of reality, etc. I loved it, I loved every precious second of this season, and I am blessed to be able to witness this masterpiece unfold before my eyes. 

[tbbt-faves]

So it’s 5 AM and I can’t sleep so let’s just go ahead an write this damn thing.

Sheldon Cooper: A prime example of character development.

NOTE: I’m so sorry if it takes forever to load all the gifs accompanying this gigantic text post but they’re necessary to illustrate my point perfectly and remove any possible ambiguity that might get me in trouble with anon h8ers (and also, the gifs make it more interesting). If necessary just let this page load for a few minutes in the background. Anyway, let’s begin:

So, I love this character. As most people do. I remember in.. 2007/8 when this show first came out and all people talked about at my school was Sheldon. Maybe a little bit about Howard but mostly Sheldon. He was, and in many ways, still is, such an unlikely likable character. For real, like, imagine reading this character, before seeing Jim playing him. He’s a dick. But somehow, and I don’t think we’ll ever know why, we all love him. We feel this strange sympathy for him.

I attribute a lot of that to Jim Parsons’ adorableness.

I mean look at HIM. But we’re not here to talk about that.

We’re here to talk about how he went from being this guy, who hated relationships and had no interest in other human beings

to becoming this guy.

Because I remember very well how everyone was so apprehensive about the idea of Sheldon having a love interest back in season 3.

Almost as much apprehension as we feel about the Sheldon spin off right now, am I rite? *high fives u* Ok, sorry. I’m gonna try to explain, or describe how I think the writers pulled this off. And you’re entitled to disagree with me, ok? This is just my opinion.

I think the writers of this show are geniuses, a little bit. Not because they write science jokes, because it’s barely about that anymore. But because they found a way to develop a character who seemed 1000000% the most unlikely to ever change in any way.

Let’s look at Season 1/2/3 Sheldon for a second.

He’s a germaphobe.

He doesn’t even like human company.

He disagrees with everyone.

He’s (as far as we know) asexual.

Best part, he’s 100% clueless.

100%!!!

Even when a girl shows interest in him, he doesn’t realize it

Or a guy.

It was funny, yes, but then the news came out that Sheldon was going to have a love interest

And we all wondered how the hell that was going to work. This is how they made it work: They brought in a character that was exactly like Sheldon. Despised physical contact.

Only went out with him to please his mother

Was just as smart as him.

Had the same interests as him.

But the best part about Amy was.. She did not seem as much into Sheldon as Sheldon was into her.

I loved that. Because it seemed so unlikely. I think most of us have forgotten this. Because the way they played it in every other season after season 4, it was the other way around, but not at first.

Amy seemed mostly unfazed by Sheldon.

At least from a relationship point of view.

It would’ve been so much easier for these writers to have this girl be into Sheldon and Sheldon not into her at all but then Sheldon could’ve never fallen for anyone like that, because we remember how that Ramona business turned out, right?

So of course, he liked her more.

He got a bunch of cats after a fight that ended their “relationship” (their words, not mine).

He asked her out and she turned him down

He got jealous of Leonard

He liked her kisses.

But the part that remained very true to the character we all knew and loved was that he denied all of it. That was what still made him very Sheldon. The Sheldon we all loved.

He denied jealousy

He let go of her hand after grabbing it.

He denied being hurt

He denied her being more than a friend.

Meanwhile Amy was just there… a bit of a mystery. Both to us, and Sheldon. Until we got to know her a little bit She became her own character and she.. had desires.

The roles reversed but Sheldon could not let go of her at this point. He was already so into her.

She kissed him and he pretended like it never happened. But it did.

And this is something we’ve come to see from this couple over and over again, and I suspect its the reason why we’re all oddly ok with Sheldon being the way he is today, compared to what he was then. They dragged things out as long as possible. It got to the point where we were all screaming at our TV screens, GOD, JUST ASK HER TO BE YOUR GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!!!!!1 It got to the point where Sheldon just couldn’t deny his own feelings anymore.

He had to ask her out.

He had to apologize when he was wrong.

He had to allow himself to love her.

And boy, that took a while.

But Amy always found ways, because she’s THE BEST.

So patient, so loving, so understanding.

Because she was Sheldon at some point, right?

She knew what he was going through.

And yet another great example of the writers dragging things out like crazy. Even “Sheldon initiated kiss” (SIK) was a thing on tumblr. I remember the 1000 fanfics written about how a SIK could happen. It was our #1 dream

And let’s all face it, season 6 was a major disappointment. Not only did we not get our SIK, but Sheldon was just… a dick this season.

But we got a cute hug

And Sheldon kinda admitted how much Amy meant to him 

So we decided to forget about it and hope the season 7 was the year of the SIK AND BOY IT WAS.

But before we get into that, let’s look at how much they dragged things out, shall we? 1

2

3

4

That last one was honestly just brutal.

I think all of us shamy shippers would’ve been ok if they just kissed whenever. We would’ve been fine with anything as long as he kissed her on the lips, but the writers probably struggled with the “everyday, normal, general, casual viewer” who doesn’t write huge essays like this one.

And it was so perfect man, I remember watching that scene, I almost had a heart attack.

I remember so very clearly when this scene came out and some Shamy haters (yes they exist, omg) were like “EVERYONES TALKING ABOUT HOW PERFECT IT WAS BUT ANY SCENE WOULD’VE PLEASED U GUYS” and I was like, yeah, thats true but. This kiss was on EVERY NEWS NETWORK IN THE WORLD

THIS STUPID MEME HAD LIKE A MILLION NOTES

EVERYONE WAS TALKING ABOUT IT BECAUSE

it. was. so. perfect.

Let me tell you why, this episode begins with this scene: Sheldon, once again, suppressing his feelings. He counts down until he no longer feels the need to hug her.

And he’s so betrayed when he finds out Amy was hoping for some romance, cause he does NOT enjoy romance. He tries to make a point.

But now his own body betrays him.

It’s also perfect because this isn’t like every other time where Sheldon’s actions are completely misaligned with what he says. He’s not denying something, he’s just doing it. And he doesn’t ever try to deny it.

Let’s look at Sheldon with the cats once again.

He’s clearly struggling, while saying he’s not pining over anyone.

But kissing, he’s never talked about kissing. He’s never been in a position where he really wanted to kiss her and did it but then denied it.

This, somehow, has never occurred before. 3 years in and this has never happened

And now it does, and he so clearly loves it, and he never, ever. Not even the day after, tries to deny how much it meant to him.

This, ladies gentlemen, is when Sheldon realizes he’s in love.

And he sooo wants to kiss her again, but he doesn’t do it.

Instead he adds it to the relationship agreement, of course. And he’s so willing man, it’s beautiful.

Of course he doesn’t admit he’s in love ’til a year later, but that’s how much we have to drag it out right?

And now that he’s said it, he doesn’t have to hide it anymore.

This guy is just so in love

It’s beautiful. We’re all so happy

and Amy too, and she starts to think that maybe that means Sheldon’s ready for a little bit more.

But he’s not, and that hits her like a damn truck.

She has to break up, patience’s run out, she needs some time off.

And Sheldon knew what had happened. Amy was disappointed because he wasn’t thinking about sex, so he thinks it’s the coitus part that made Amy want to break up.

I’ve said this 10 thousand times already but I love that look (JIM YOU DESERVE EVERY EMMY). It’s such a small, 2 second shot but it shows exactly his thoughts this whole time.

He thinks Amy broke up with him because of the lack of coitus, but it wasn’t that. It was so much more than that.

This whole episode was so clearly a set up to them getting back together.

They’re back to season 4 Shamy. They’re playing games, admiring each other.

Once again, we’re all going JUST KISS HER DAMMIT GET BACK TOGETHER PLEASE

And the end hit US (and Amy) like a damn truck now.

Sheldon was so hurt, he didn’t want to go through all that pain again. He decides he’d rather have Amy as a friend, now that he sees it as a possibility, rather than risk getting his heart broken again.

But then, he comes to a great realization. Amy’s only made him better since they met.

He realizes he is, once again, denying his own feelings.

To hell with that, they’re back together, and this time, for real.

Yes, that means coitus, too. And once again we all went.. “how the hell is that gonna work”. This is probably the first time, since Amy’s arrival, when something happened when we were not expecting it.

They didn’t really drag this out, I mean, in a way, they did cause it’s already been 5 years since Amy’s introduction but also.. not so much. They’d just gotten back together, and we’d all probably thought that 2 kisses were supposed to hold us for a while.

And coitus happened. Something I mysteriously haven’t talked about yet, is why this couple is so appealing to so many people. In part it’s beautiful because of Sheldon’s development, yes, but also because Sheldon and Amy are each other’s 1st love. It seems so unlikely that two people would find love for the first time in their 30s, but that’s exactly what this relationship is.

This is the first time for both of them, and I’m not talking about virginity, no. I’m talking about first time falling for someone. Watching that is so beautiful. It’s one of the best parts about this couple. It brings out a familiar feeling for all of us.

Same with them losing their virginity, it wasn’t about “oooh, Sheldon’s a stud in bed!!”, it’s about, being nervous, anxious...

But ultimately knowing it’s the right time because you love this person and know them and trust them.

It’s again, so unlikely that Amy would be the one having doubts and being nervous right before it happens, and Sheldon’s so calm and sure that this is right.

But that made it all the more beautiful for us, didn’t it?

And yes he’s a genius in bed, too. Period.

Now there’s nothing really holding them back. Coitus only once a year, sure, but that’s it.

Sheldon makes mistakes, and denies his own feelings sometimes but he’s matured enough to realize it and apologize for it, but more than that, he makes adjustments for Amy.

He moves in with her,

adjusts his lifestyle for her

he makes a real effort

Something Amy’s been doing for years now, he’s finally doing it for her.

And, as I’ve said 10 thousand times already, it’s BEAUTIFUL.

And finally, to end this extremely long text post, my favorite headcanon about this couple has always been how Amy is the ONLY person that could’ve made this happen for Sheldon.

She’s the only woman he’d ever want to date, be intimate with, kiss, etc. She’s the only one he could fall for. And I’ll be honest, I was never really sure that that was really canon on the show. Until season 10, episode 24 happened.

And it sucked seeing Sheldon enjoying somebody else’s company so much, even though he obviously did not enjoy it as more than a friendship, but

when Ramona kisses him, he realizes Amy’s the only person he ever wants to be with. It’s canon now, bitches!

Amy’s the only one.

[lovemesomesurveys]

Childhood

Did you spend your childhood time with mostly real or imaginary friends?: I spent most of my childhood with my cousins. Or with my Barbies, since I’d play for hours. Did people consider you an odd child?: I wouldn’t say odd, no. I was just a quiet, shy kid. Do you have memories that go back to when you were only a few months old?: Wow, no. It’s crazy to me how some people believe they remember being born. I’m like what? Do you remember any thoughts you had when you where very young?: No, not really. I have some memories from my childhood.

Were they intricate or simple thoughts?: Probably simple. I just wanted to play Barbies and watch cartoons.

If you answered “intricate”, give an example of one of those thoughts: Were you dreams very vivid as a child?: I have no idea. Kids are pretty imaginative, so possibly. What is the strangest memory you have from early childhood?: I can’t think of anything strange. Were you a child prodigy or did you display any gifts at a young age?: No. I mean I was able to read when I was 3, and reading and spelling has always been my thing, but I am no child prodigy. What was the most “grown-up” thing you ever said as a child?: I have no idea. What were your favourite TV shows in early childhood?: When I was really little I was obsessed with Barney. I also enjoyed Disney Channel and Nickelodeon. Were you afraid of monsters?: I don’t think so, actually. Like I don’t remember being afraid of monsters under my bed or something. Did you believe that fictional characters were real?: No, I don’t believe so. Maybe I never really thought about it like that. Were you more quiet and artistic or loud and physical? I was definitely quiet, but not artistic. Issues and stuff Do you eat meat?: Yes, but I’m not like a big meat eater. I’m also very picky about it. If you do, what is your justification for it?: I don’t need to justify it. If you could legalize 3 things in the US, what would they be?: I’d say marijuana, but we’re already on the way with that. Do you believe in the death penalty?: I’m on the fence. Did Mumia do it?: Did who do what? If you had a choice, which country would you have chosen to be born into?: I’m very thankful to have been born in Sweden, obviously. <<< How cool! I want to visit Sweden someday. As for me, I’m an American and I am happy with that. What are your opinions of Michael Moore?: Eh. Describe your feelings about marijuana legalization: I think it should be. Red, White and Blue is a ghastly color combination, right?: No. What television news coverage do you detest the most?: I don’t watch a lot of news. I prefer to read the news online. What will you do if Bush is re-elected? Well, that can’t happen since he already served two terms. Wow, this is old. Which state do you think will drop off into the ocean first?: *shrug* Who do you consider “American Heros”? There’s so many, for various reasons for their contributions. Completely Obtuse And Silly Questions Have you ever taken something apart just to see how it worked? I wouldn’t be able to put it back together, ha. Do you ever yell at the television while you are alone? Reason?: Not yell, but I comment aloud on stuff I watch sometimes. Name a few things (if any) that you bought on Ebay recently: Not me, personally, but my mom asked me to order a few things for her that she wanted to get my brother for Christmas. Are the Muppetes sinister? Think about it.: I never thought of it that way. Do you watch the Science Channel (Discovery) on a regular basis?: No, I never do. Ever gotten into an “in person” argument with a total stranger? Discuss: No. Sugar or Honey?: Sugar. What’s on your desk right now?: I don’t have a desk. How many e-mails do you recieve a day?: Maybe like 10 or 15. I keep up with them and clean our mailbox regularly, so it’s never too bad. Do you think that time travel is a possibility?: No, but how cool would that be. Are you slightly addicted to online tests and surveys?: Now what would give you that idea? San Francisco or New York City?: I’ve been to San Francisco several times and love it, but I’d love to visit New York City. What are your favorite color combinations?: I love pastel combos. Close your eyes and type the first random image that pops into your head: Giraffes. Do you enjoy night or day better?: Blah. Favorite animal: Dogs and giraffes. Have you ever been to a protest?: Nope. Aggravated a cop on purpose?: No. Ever gone train hopping/ridden the rails?: No. If you could choose a time period in which to live, which would it be?: I’m fine with this one, but I’d love to be able to travel back to other periods. Ever put your hand through a window?: Yeah? List a few words you hate the sound of: The P word and the C word. I absolutely despise them. You won’t hear me say either one of them. And a few you like the sound of: Hmm. I don’t know. Are you sick of this survey yet? It’s fine. Emotions And Such Have you attempted suicide more than once?: No. Cutting?: Yes. Do you get violent when you are angry?: No. Which emotion are you most consumed by?: Sadness. Are you highly emotive?: Yeah. Do you discuss problems or keep them to yourself?: I tend to keep to myself a lot, or down play things if I do decide to talk about it. Except for on here. Do you fall in love easily?: I fall easily. What age/year was the most difficult for you?: I feel like I’ve been going through it the past few years, and I thought things were hard before. It doesn’t compare to now. How do you channel your anger/sadness?: I cry. Ever been addicted to alcohol or drugs?: No. Ever been homeless?: No. List a few simple things that make you happy: Coffee. When were you most recently your happiest?: Uhhhh. Do you consider yourself empathetic?: Yes. Friends Describe your best friend as if you were describing a character from a film: My best friend is my mom and she’s just awesome. Do you have friends that are drastically different from each other?: Yeah. List a few key traits that all of your friends have in common: They’re smart and driven, unlike me. Do you keep in touch with friends from high school?: I have a few on Facebook. Have you lost touch with many of your friends?: Yes. Are they mostly local or long distance?: Local. When you go out with friends, what kinds of things do you do?: I haven’t been out with friends in so long, but usually it’s out to eat or grab some coffee. Have you ever been betrayed by a close friend?: Yes. If yes, are you still friends with that person?: No. Are your friends mostly your age, younger or older?: My age and a year younger. Do you have a hard time making friends because most people bore you?: Ha, I’m the boring one. Do you like to hang out with friends one-on-one or in groups?: Groups. Small groups. Which of you online friends do you have the most in common with?: I don’t have any online friends. Family Are you close to your family?: Yes. What traits are you glad you inherited from them?: My mom’s sense of humor and love of reading. I wish I inherited her work ethic, her determination, her ambition, her drive, her ability to keep going when the going gets tough and push through...  What sitcom does your family most remind you of?: None. Does your family live locally or far away?: Most live locally. Have you ever stopped speaking to someone in your family?: No. We don’t see some family members much, but not because we stopped talking to them. It just happens cause life. Have either of your parents died?: No. Is your family very much like you or are you opposites?: A bit of both. How many siblings do you have?: Two. Has your family ever thrown food at each other?: No. Are the holidays a nightmare or a time of joy?: I love the holidays. Do you look like your parents?: I’ve been told I look like my mom. List one interesting fact about your family: Hmm. I don’t know. Lovers Gay, Straight, Bi-sexual or no idea?: Straight. Married/partnered?: Single. Ever gone out with someone you were embarrassed to be seen with?: Wow, no. That would be mean. Ever broken someones heart?: Yes. Not like to be spiteful, it just didn’t work out. I felt awful. How many serious relationships have you had?: None. Have you ever lusted obsessively over someone you knew you couldn’t have?: I wouldn’t say that, but I had really serious feelings for someone who I wanted to be with, and thought they wanted to be with me, too, but I was wrong. Do you believe in the theory of soulmates?: I don’t know. Ever cheated?: No. Been cheated on?: No. Thrown someones stuff out on the lawn/stairs/etc.?: Nope. Had your stuff thrown out on the lawn/stairs/etc.?: No. Most important emotional qualities of a lover?: I would like a caring, kind, patient, understanding, genuine person. Most important physical qualities?: That’s less important. Food & Drink Non-alcoholic beverage of choice: Coffee and Coke. Alcoholic beverage of choice: None. Foods you crave on a regular basis: Chicken tenders.

Salsa and Chips or Pita and Hummus?: Salsa and chips. I think hummus is disgusting. Meat or Tofu?: Meat. Never had tofu, but it doesn’t look or sound appealing to me. Soup or Salad?: Salad. Soda or Juice?: Soda. Can I get you anything else?: You didn’t get me anything. Favorite candy:: Reese’s and white chocolate. Mmm, white chocolate Reese’s. ha. Favorite food to make: Top Ramen?

Food brand that you hate?: Uhh I don’t know. Do you try to buy all organic?: No. Favorite quick food?: Chicken tenders. Final Questions Ever had a great song ruined for you after it was used in a commercial?: No. Ever yelled at an SUV?: No? A Hummer?: Nope? Ever faked being sick to get out of going somewhere?: Yes. I rarely had to because I usually really do feel crappy. If you could turn back time and change one thing, what would it be?: Oh so many things. Bambi or Nemo?: Nemo. List 3 things that are worrying you right now: Health, health, and health. It’s too fucking long, right?: It’s fine. Well, I’m just trying to help you pass the time.: Thanks. Do you think you’ll ever have children if you don’t already?: I honestly can’t see that happening. Do you think there is life on other planets?: I don’t knowww. Have you ever broken a leg or arm?: My leg. Would you rather stay in the house or do things outside: I’m a homebody, but I do venture out now and then ha. David Letterman or Jay Leno?: I liked Jay Leno when he was on. Last words?: Bye.

[driftingglass]

How did you develop your writing style? It's so unique and descriptive. Did you take inspiration from anyone and build on that, or was it more like writing until you gradually became better at it? I'm having a crisis because I want to develop a distinct writing style, but I don't know how. I don't know if you can compare it to an artist finding their style or not, so I don't really know what to expect. eh, sorry if this didn't make any sense (ᵕ̣̣̣̣̣̣﹏ᵕ̣̣̣̣̣̣)

Very interesting ask.

Thank you for the kind words in the beginning of your ask, first of all. I think this is a very important thing to address for writers in general because it’s a struggle that we all go through at one point. And, for others, it’s a constant battle… for most, if not all, it’s a necessity. 

I’ll be answering this in two parts, because one is more personal while the other is more objective. I hope that these answers and thoughts will help in some capacity.

We’ll go with the objective one first. (This will be long. Sorry. I can’t answer this question in a short way without any depth.)

. Where Do You Aim When Crafting Your Writing Style? .

Anon, if I were to be honest, the actual act of aiming to develop a distinct style, rather than focus on developing your craft in terms of grammar, syntax, and variation in imagery, leads to obstacles more than anything. 

I know from personal experience that being obsessed with being different (and this is more recent in my years as a developing writer, rather than towards the beginning) prolongs the frustrations and even causes writers to stumble and overthink about their style. 

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve struggled with enjoying my own writing because of my very descriptive use of words and imagery, even though that’s what differentiates me as a writer. 

(And there are plenty of flaws that develop with every single style, and I can tell you a dozen frustrations I have for every one positive thing I like about my own. Of course, that will be expanded on later.)

The first step into coming into your own writing style, Anon, is understanding that trying too hard to emulate another’s style will only halt you in crafting your own. There is nothing wrong with drawing influence and finding inspiration in authors, of course, because that’s how we function. 

There is nothing wrong with wanting to be similar or even outshine the authors we admire, whether it’s in terms of the actual style itself, the content, the plots, the characters, the settings, etc. In fact, it’s encouraged for writers to explore the secrets and methods that the most esteemed and successful authors use, because that’s where you learn.

Writing is, in fact, an extremely meticulous and even mechanical process. There is a sort of science (if you want to view it that way) to the way stories are structured, how certain styles work with certain readers and so on. 

Your motivations behind why you want to develop a distinct style should be made clear before you move forward with practicing and continuously exploring what you have to offer for yourself, rather than your wish to imitate other people.

Now, there are countless different ways you can discuss the writing styles of different authors. For one thing, there’s a very descriptive elegance and simple depth that is often found in the works of Ian McEwan, for instance, the author of Atonement, Nutshell, and Sweet Tooth. 

His style is very heavy on summarization of his characters, almost, which can either draw the reader in or immediately turn them off. Some absolutely despise this style because they claim it lacks depth or connection between the reader and the characters.

I absolutely love Ian McEwan. I’m one of millions of readers who enjoy his style, and I oppose the viewpoints of millions of readers who absolutely detest his style. But what makes Ian McEwan Ian McEwan is… well, Ian McEwan’s writing style and process. 

When you criticize or praise Ian McEwan, you’re not criticizing his style for emulating J.K. Rowling or George R.R. Martin or C.S. Lewis or any other writer, but your’e criticizing and praising him for his style. He is well into his own work because, through being influenced and learning from his own idols, he’s grown into his own style. 

Ian McEwan’s style, not a… say, “polished imitation of Rowling or Martin.”

It’s just his own.

This is a very important differentiator because it’s incredibly easy to become enveloped in the idea of wanting to be the “next J.K. Rowling” or the “next Stephen King.” I guarantee that it happens to every writer, and maybe my opinion isn’t exactly universally viewed as accurate in this regard, but I think this is a dangerous way to view writing.

Desperately trying to emulate another’s style through forced, unnatural and exhausting means, leads to burnouts and a quick recession of passion and even frustration that you can’t even pinpoint as a writer.

You will often ask yourself: “Why isn’t this working? I’m doing exactly what my favorite author is doing!”

And that, right there, is where you know you’ve slammed headfirst into a wall.

Do you write because you want to express the style of a different author? Or do you write because you want to express yourself?

Most, if not all, writers would say: “well, obviously myself. Why else would I write? I’m not trying to copy every other person out there.”

Of course writers aren’t always actively trying to do just that, but sometimes it’s inevitable when you’re focused so intensely on wanting to create your own style amidst a pool of millions of writers who could not be more different. Sure, some styles are going to be similar no matter what, but there are always elements that show your personality as the author in your work.

You should write, ultimately, for yourself first before anyone else. Thus, your style should be, ultimately, you. 

How do you become a better writer? You read and you write every day. It’s a simple, yet very tasking process, and part of what, of course, draws from us, as writers, to look to our idols and what causes us to create a new style based off of what we know. 

It’s the basic fundamental of writing, from beginners to the most advanced and successful published authors around (and beyond).

So, instead of aiming to mimic other styles and trying too hard to emulate your favorite authors, start with drawing inspiration from them and just… losing yourself, to a few tries. In order to evolve into your own style, you must freely write and just let your typing/writing fingers speak for themselves.

It’s a very daring process and it’s extremely difficult to do, especially for over-thinkers like myself, but trust me, the payoff is absolutely rewarding. 

[ Alright, moving on to the more personal aspect. There will be answers that aren’t explored in this one because they should be exemplified more in the second half of this post. Fair warning. ]

. So, Let’s Talk About the Relationship Between Style and Writer .

Oh, boy.

Honestly, this ask resonated so much with me personally that it’s difficult to write all of this out, but it’s important. And, as much as I actually detest and obsess over changing my style each and every day, there’s something I need to make clear about how it works in general.

My style actually fluctuates depending on which tense I’m writing. 

In fanfiction, I often write in present-tense. Why? It’s fast. It’s quick. It immediately appeals to the senses and allows more freedom and control over the characters in how they move, talk, etc. It also motivates me to write faster because this type of style emulates how I dabbled in poetry, which I’m very fond of. 

My writing is… very descriptive, yes, but this started out as my biggest flaw. In fact, it’s still considered a flaw. 

Sometimes I use far too many adverbs and far too many words to reach a certain point, and overly describe each scene and movement between characters because of how specific and vivid my visions are for each story.

It’s part of my controlling nature as a writer. Boohoo, I’m a horrible person. Whatever. 

Usually when I reread my drafts (which is either obsessively repeated or not done at all…) I cut away the excess descriptions because, ever since I started writing, I would over-write. I was desperate and even more insecure in my craft, and it showed. 

When I write original works, I write in the past-tense. And, strangely enough, my style just… changes. 

It’s often recommended not to have different writing styles for certain settings. If I had to simplify my style I would say it’s very descriptive and is pretty minute in what it pays attention to, but it can get lost in the fray and is usually best observed between character interactions and descriptions of scenes upon envisioning them for the first time. 

My past-tense style, when compared side-by-side with my present-tense, holds some key similarities but are, ultimately, quite different. It’s more blunt, still highly visual and sensual, but it is still, essentially, my style.

Everyone develops their style in a different way and over time through practice and just… discovering what you enjoy most about writing. 

Do you love appealing to the senses the most? 

Do you love imagining landscapes and describing the different ways a sunset or sunrise can look? 

Do you love architecture? Buildings? Moss on the walls? Thorns on a vine? What roses smell like in winter if they still retain their fragrance?

Do you love witty banter and short, snappy descriptions and fast-paced action? 

Do you love dialogue more than the setting?

Do you love the setting more than the dialogue?

Do you love both equally and seek a balance?

Do you love slow-building drama and angst? 

Do you love describing economics and politics?

Do you love describing romance and sex? 

Do you love laying out emotions as they are bluntly or relating them to more palpable things? 

Do you love fantasy? Contemporary? Thriller? Mystery? All of them? Everything and anything in-between?

Do you love more minute or expanded details? 

Do you love skipping over details in general and just going straight to the point? 

Do you love writing?

All of these aspects and many, many more, make up the many different styles that writers wield and hone to their own ability each and every day. It requires discipline, a lot of practice, insight, and willingness to delve deep into oneself and think: “will I like reading what I put down?”

Be honest with yourself. Experiment. Try new things. It’s normal to be confused and stuck in a rut, Anon. I struggle with my own style every day and obsess over it far too much, but it’s a constant uphill battle with unimaginable rewards when you start coming more and more into those moments where you can lean back and loudly proclaim:

“Yes. I fucking wrote that, and it’s brilliant. I love this style and I’m going to keep using it and building on it and making it the best of what it can be because it’s mine and I want to be proud of it.”

Good luck, Anon. And to anyone else reading this! I hope it provided some value! Thank you for the wonderful question and I wish you the absolute best.

[scithemodestmermaid]

I’m going to talk about Pokemon Sword a bit, and you know I’m serious because I’m actually using proper capitalization.  Warning: it’s a pretty long review.

I’m several hours in and up to Route 5, and while the game does have flaws it’s still a good game.  That’s the short version.  The long version is going to be pretty long.

Now I’m going into this game a despiser of Dexit.  The only reason I bought the game is because this is the first gen where I’ve been at the very least content with all the new designs and because I wanted to see if Gamefreak could put out a good game without all the Pokemon before decrying them for being unable to do so.  And I know a lot of people have been attacking the game and every positive thing said about it, saying that the devs are lazy, and there’s no soul in the game, and the people who buy the game should just kill themselves because they alone are what’s wrong with the world, etc etc etc.

And let me just say, if you’re one of those people telling others to kill themselves because they did or did not buy/like the game....shut the fuck up.  You are not helping your side, whichever side it may be.  And don’t ever, ever, tell someone to commit suicide.  Especially over something as trivial as a game.  This is not singling out Pro-Dexit or Anti-Dexit or whatever; I’ve seen some pretty abysmal things said on both sides towards both sides.  And that needs to stop.   If you can’t discuss your side like a mature human being, then go back to your playroom and let the grown-ups talk.  

Now that THAT’S off my chest, to discuss what I like and dislike...

What I Like:

Visuals are leaps and bounds ahead of USUM, and there have been several spots where I’ve just been impressed with how pretty everything is.  Granted, the Wild Area visuals are a step below the traditional routes.  The trees in the Wild Area do, indeed, all look like the infamous N64 tree that was floating around.  But here’s the crazy thing, I didn’t really notice unless I was specifically staring at it.  Otherwise, it all just blends into the background and doesn’t matter in the end.

The new Pokemon designs.  Like I mentioned, this this the first gen where I have been okay with the newly-introduced mons, if not outright adoring them and calling them my new faves.  Impidimp line, Toxel line, Hattena line, Yamper line, Nickit line, Rolycoly line...all have stolen my heart.  The Galarian forms bear mentioning, as well; so far I’ve only encountered G. Zigazagoon and G. Meowth and technically Giga Meowth (I mean, I’ve seen all the leaks, but still, it’s honestly different finding them yourself), and they are just so fun.  The design team absolutely knocked it out of the park this time around.

The new Mons’ animations.  Yes yes, I know I know, all the crap animation memes.  But, talking specifically about the new Mons...they move really nicely.  An example would be Nickit’s attack (as seen here): after the attack, it deftly brushes away its tracks before settling back into its idle animation.  It’s such a small little detail that adds so much to Nickit’s personality.  There’s several other mons with little visual details like that: Yamper’s little jump after a tackle, Drizzile pulling water balloons from its tear sacs and tossing them, Toxel’s lil temper tantrum, and the list goes on.  The new guys look and move great.

The Wild Area.  Now, if you go in expect the entirety of Breath of the Wild, then yes you will be disappointed.  But the Wild Area is definitely a step in a neat direction for Gamefreak.  There’s a variety of Mons to find, Raid Battles to participate in, and things to just uncover.  So far, most of my time with the game has been spent running around to see what new Mon I’d find.  The area is a bit small, but there’s so much to see that it feels a lot bigger.

Camping.  There’s something so charming about sitting down and seeing all my Mons walk around and interact with each other.  Calling one or two over to talk to them and play fetch.  Enjoying curry together.  It’s so cozy and comfy, and honestly the only thing that would’ve made it better was if they kept actual patting in (but honestly, that’s such a minor thing compared to what all they did add).  But as it is, it adds such a nice, relaxing atmosphere to the game.

Hop.  Lots of folks say that he’s Hau 2.0 (and if we’re talking about a tendency to interrupt the story with cutscenes, yes he is (more on that later)), but I disagree.  Where Hau was easygoing to the point of aloofness, Hop is driven and determined.  He pushes himself and the player character to their limits, trying to become greater than everyone else and make a name for himself.  So strangely enough, Hop shares a lot in common with Blue: aggressively pushing himself and the player forward.  Only difference is that Hop tries to be polite about it.  I’m interested to see where he ends up.

Leon.  Yeah, I’m not beating around the bush here, he’s handsome.  Hot dang.  Bravo.  And even though I know it’s cool to hate on the fact that he uses a Charizard as his ace, the fact that he absolutely adores his Charizard is something I can respect.

What I Dislike:

The old Mons’ animations.  Yes, it turns out that they lied about the remade models (a AAA company lying?  shocking!).  But I was hoping they would’ve updated more of the animations like the other excuse they’d had for cutting Mons.  Honestly, I think I saw just one new animation, and even then I don’t know if it’s genuinely new or new to me (Nuzleaf’s Tackle animation is different than I remember).  The rest of it is the same old, same old.  And it makes the old Mons stand out from the new ones, and not necessarily in a good way.

CUTSCENES.  OH MY GOSH NO PLEASE.  WHY.  Why did Gamefreak decide to bring back the cutscene-heavy storytelling from Gen 7?  Nobody liked getting stopped constantly to read pages of text.  NOBODY.  LIKED.  IT.  And yet, here it is again.  And this time, if the spoilers I read are to believe, the story doesn’t go down dark corridors like Gen 7 did.  Heck, if those spoilers are right, the story doesn’t go anywhere (can’t confirm until I’ve beaten the game myself, so I’ll probably talk more than that in another review)!  So why these cutscenes?!

Dynamaxing.  When I was fighting the Dynamaxed Eldegoss during the first gym, and she used a move that did huge damage, added Grassy Terrain and healing to everyone on the floor, and did that several times in a row...the thought popped into my head, “Wow, this is stupid.”  How is what I just described more balanced than Mega Evolutions or Z-Moves?  Because it’s only three turns?  And why is the sound effect SO LOUD when they Dynamax?  Genuinely, every raid battle that I did, I’d get jumpscared by the Dynamax’d Mon’s cry.  Honestly, instead of adding a new gimmick every 3D gen, they should’ve chosen one and stuck with it.  Improved on it.  Not replaced it.  And especially not replaced it with this.  (As implied earlier though, Giga forms are neat...would’ve made great mega evolutions, oh but what do I know)

Music.  Now, usually when I play handheld games, I’ll listen to music on my computer.  But for the heck of it, I decided to listen to this game’s music.  And it’s...well, it’s no Splatoon 2 soundtrack, that’s for damn sure.  A lot of it is this really bland and forgettable trance beat, or it’s a calliope of sound effects mixed in with the music (case in point: the music that plays when Zacian meets you in the forest).  I know that Toby Fox did a song for the game, and hearing the song it’s honestly the best song in the game and he should’ve just done the whole soundtrack.

Pop-in.  The draw distance is a bit weird, and NPCs will just pop into place once you get close enough.  This can get a little distracting, especially if you’re like me and your reaction to pop-in is to go back and forth and watch them appear and disappear over and over.  To be blunt, though, pop-in is a problem many beloved Switch games have (I’ve seen it several times while playing Breath of the Wild), but I suppose it’s still worth mentioning.

Also, you can’t actually pat any of your Pokemon anymore and Rotomdex is no longer a character that you interact with it’s just a phone.

And there’s other things in the game that aren’t a problem now but who knows what will happen later on (story-related issues, Exp. Share, long-term Y-Comm usage, etc), but I guess that’s a ramble for another time.

As it stands so far, Pokemon Sword is a fun game.  It is no Sonic 06.  It is no Breath of the Wild.  It is Pokemon.  It is nice.  It is fun.  It is better than the entirety of Gen 7 in my humble opinion.  I enjoy it.  I think it’s a nice looking game, and it’s a nice time playing it.  And at the end of the day, that’s why I play Pokemon.  To have a nice, fun time with virtual critters.

[digikate813]

I got tagged by @marvelandponder a while ago, but I’m just getting to it now (I’ve been sick, working on some videos etc.)

Rules: List 10 good things that happened in 2016 and then tag 10 friends

Now, marvelandponders list consisted mostly of entertainment related things, and while there were a few good things that happened to me in 2016 (going on more vacations, my parents overcoming sickness, getting closer to you guys) I realized that while 2016 was pretty lousy in places, it was an amazing year for entertainment! Which is why I decided to take a page form her book and talk purely about entertainment. Because that’s what I do best.

Also, 10? 10′s not how I roll. Let’s do 12! But first, keep in mind that there were a few well regarded things in 2016 I haven’t gotten around to watching yet. Like Deadpool, Stranger Things, Moana. In fact, Doctor Strange, one of my most anticipated movies of the year, came out during probably the most stressful time of the year or me. So I couldn’t find the time to go see it. Just a little disclaimer. So, under the cut, there will be My Top 12 (somewhat arbitrarily ranked) Awesome Entertainment Things in 2016! Except for the top 3. Those are less arbitrarily ranked. On with the list!

12- The Ace Attorney Anime

Okay. Full Disclosure. I actually haven’t finished this one yet. I got pretty busy during the Turnabout Goodbye arc and just haven’t gotten back to it. But what I did see was great! Ever since I got into Phoenix Wright in 2014, I have been hoping for an anime. And in 2016, it finally came. I know there are people that have problems with it or just generally don’t like it, and that’s fine. But for me, I had a ton of fun watching what I did of these famous moments from the game come to life, and I thought it was a great adaptation. I do hope it gets an English dub one of these days (maybe by then, I’ll have finished Justice For All)

11- Kung Fu Panda 3

One of my most anticipated movies of the year. And while this was a pretty stellar year for animated movies (for the most part), I tried not to forget the badass-itude that was Kung Fu Panda 3. Anyone who loved the first two installments is not going to be disappointed. Giving the same level of comedy, emotional depth, incredible action and wonderful animation that at first we wouldn’t expect form something called “Kung Fu Panda”, but now we wouldn’t expect anything less.

10 - La La Land

One of the perks of procrastinating on this list is that I got to see La La Land before I finished this. And I’m glad I did, because this movie is as good as everyone says it is. It’s a visually stunning film that manages to embody the spirit of classic musicals right in the middle of 2016. A lot of us thought it wasn’t possible to carry that style into a modern setting, but this movie does it so gracefully that I hope others give it a try. And as someone who is a big fan of those musicals, it was right up my alley. But it also has a wonderful message behind it that rings true to anyone who tries to pursue something in a creative field. I won’t say too much more for fear of spoiling it, but it’s a wonderful film. It’s as good as everyone says it is, and like the ads are saying, if you’ve seen it already, see it again!

9- Kubo and the Two Strings

One of the most underrated movies of the year! This was a movie that was incredibly well done but insanely difficult to market. Seriously, if you’ve seen the movie, you probably know what I mean. You cannot go 10 minutes into this thing without giving something major away. What I can say is if you know those people who think animation is just for kids, and can’t do anything deep and impactful, show then this. It’s a beautiful film in animation, storytelling and performances. I personally have a bit of a problem with the ending, but that’s just me. Everything else about it is marvelous, and I’m glad people hyped it up enough to encourage me to check it out.

8- The People vs O.J. Simpson

Now this may seem like a weird addition to this list, but there is a reason this mini series is winning every award ever. And watching this was, an interesting experience for me, because I saw it with my Mom, and it was like watching this very well done series through two different lenses. I knew about as much as any millenial does about the OJ trial, but my Mom lived through it, and recognized moments throughout the trail and the broadcasts they were re creating. While I was just stunned at the kind of things that happened during this trial, my Mom was able to validate that yes, that is how it happened. This is one of those shows where if they didn’t do this as well as they did, it was going to crash and burn, but they pulled it off gracefully, and that’s why it deserves all the awards.

7-  Steven Universe: Bismuth

I decided that unless a show began and ended in 2016, I could only include one episode from it, and as great as Steven Universe was this year, none compared to this one for me. The 100th episode of any show is sure to be a big one, and while Bismuth isn’t exactly a spectacle or a celebration of the show reaching this milestone, it is an amazingly well done episode that may be one of the most well crafted stories in the show (and that’s saying a lot). It brings the same level of quality that any other SU episode does, but it goes above and beyond, bringing twists and new perspectives that are still effecting the show today. I really can’t believe I haven’t reviewed this yet, because I have a lot to say about this one. But for now, let’s move on to…

6- Finding Dory

With all of the amazing animated movies we had this year, Finding Dory seems to have gotten lost in the shuffle. And that’s kind of a shame, because it does something that is an immediate red flag for most, putting the comic relief in the spotlight, and actually delivers a well made movie that can be compared well with the original. While I had been waiting for this movie for a while, I was hoping for it to be pretty good, and what I got was a great time that delivered all the feels. Seriously, there are some heart breaking moments in this movie. But what else do you expect form Pixar at this point?!

5- Captain America: Civil War

Oh my God! This movie was everything I wanted it to be and so much more! The fact that this movie borrowed a premise from one of the most despised comic book arcs in modern history, and managed to fulfill all of the untapped potential while building on all of the previous Marvel movies and was able to introduce new characters and get us to feel just as much for them as we do for the other Avengers we’ve known for years is astounding! Take that Batman v Superman! This may be the most well balanced Marvel movie so far. You understand both sides of the conflict, everyone has well thought out and understandable motivations, the action is some of the best in the franchise, and if it turns out that this is the last Captain America movie in the MCU, I would be 100% okay with that.

4- Zootpoia

I actually wasn’t anticipating this movie that much. But by the time I saw it, it had gained quite the reputation of being a wonderful film with a fascinating world, fleshed out main characters, and gracefully addresses social political issues in a family film. And after finishing it, I couldn’t agree more. I’ll be really surprised if Zootopia doesn’t win the Oscar for Best Animated Feature. This is one of Disney’s best (and again, that’s saying a lot), and it’s such an important movie that still manages to be a fun buddy cop movie. It’s not preachy. It doesn’t talk down to it’s audience. It was a risky move, but it paid off miraculously.

3- Sherlock: The Abominable Bride

Yeeaaahh. No surprise here. Of course the Sherlock Christmas special that takes these characters back to their Victorian roots with tons of callbacks, an engaging mystery, and deep character exploration was going to make it here. I was so, so excited for this, being the big Sherlock Holmes geek I am, but this special actually managed to be so much more then it was advertised to be. I don’t want to spoil it, but I have reviewed this episode, and I gave it a glowing review. It’s one of my new favorite episodes, and given how much competition it had, that’s an achievement.

2- Pokémon Sun & Moon

Well, duh. I could have put Pokémon Go in this spot, since it made Pokémon a worldwide name again (for better or for worse), but I decided to go with Sun and Moon. Not only was anticipation for this game a ton of fun, with the excitement for each new Pokémon and feature that was announced being contagious, but the game itself was so much fun. Yes it takes forever to get to the actual gameplay. Yes there is a lot of hand holding in the first half. But this is probably the most experimental main series Pokémon game I have ever seen. And it really pays off. There are so many new features I love, the story was engaging, the environment, the Pokémon, the journey, it was just so much fun. What a great game to mark Pokémon's 20th anniversary.

#1- Gravity Falls: Take Back the Falls

Of course it’s Take Back the Falls! How could it not be Take Back the Falls? This may have been the most nervous I have ever been for a series finale. This was going to decide for me if Gravity Falls was going to become my new favorite show, and I had no clue how they were going to conclude this amazing show. But this was such a wonderful conclusion that had all of the action, intrigue, and emotional stakes it needed to, while giving us a wonderful goodbye to this place and these characters we had come to know and love for 3 years.

And a lot of my friends here on the internet I made through a connection with Gravity Falls. So to be able to celebrate what a wonderful and satisfying finale this was with those people made it all the more meaningful to declare Gravity Falls my favorite show.

So those are my Top 12 Favorite Entertainment things in 2016. I am so sorry that it took so long and that it’s very long and rambly. If anyone else wants to share their favorite things about 2016, I tag you! So feel free to write them up.

ADDENDUM: Okay, real quick. I finally saw Arrival last night, and oh my God! That movie is amazing. I didn’t want to kick any of these things off the list, so consider this an honorable mention. If you want some high concept science fiction and a different take on the first contact story, see this movie! I don’t want to spoil anything, so that’s all I’ll say. SEE IT!

Okay. I’m done. Bye,