#it’s always been such a baffling ship to me like anyone who genuinely thought that they would get together…..

[maxanor]

honestly st*rek fans deserved to be queerbaited

[aircd]

ᯓ★ ᝰ.ᐟ(fem)¡buggy¡the¡clown+*.

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XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

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I Warnings: (yandere undertones?) mentions of Imanipulation/gaslighting, sadistic behaviors, begging, praise, Isleep deprivation.(general creepiness)

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fem¡buggy¡the¡clown: That when she first met you she automatically didn’t trust you, it really wasn’t a personal thing, being a pirate and all anyone could stab you in the back, considering you actually tried to stab her (in self defense of course) . She captured you making you one of her freaks — ahem pirates..She quickly gained a liking to you, someone not so physically strong but emotionally without eating a devil fruit was rare on the sea, it’s very easy to be traumatized and not be able to handle the life of a pirate.

fem¡buggy¡the¡clown: Who was baffled she couldn’t manipulate you easily, “do you think I’m an idiot?” you say to the woman who tried to gaslight you to your face so blatantly anyone could see it. “No.. No.. I think you’re the smartest person here..and coming from me that’s a compliment..!” She says. “I’m not gonna fall for that buggy.” “Why not..!! You should be grateful I haven’t killed you yet.!!” She whines in a childish manner.

fem¡buggy¡the¡clown: Who had never really had a crush on anyone before mainly because of her self absorption, she just wasn’t really focused on romantic interests, especially a person she captured, I- I mean on her crew of course.. So when she started having feelings for you she didn’t really know what it was until she realized she had been paying big attention to only you recently; genuinely thinking it was because you were “so useful to her.” You saw it as her being pushy and crossing boundaries, even creepy, and past the normal amount of creepiness she usually had.

fem¡buggy¡the¡clown: Who’d occasionally catch you peeking a glance at her nose and would get extremely annoyed, you were lucky if she just rolled her eyes and scoffed. You thought it was dumb she expected everyone to act like it wasn’t there, it honestly didn’t look that bad on her anyways. The reason she liked you so much was from your openness and the ability to take risks by asking questions, generally speaking that was just your nature, curious. One night you couldn’t sleep and decided to tip toe around the ship, you spotted buggy standing alone staring off into the sea and tried to tip toe your way back but she had already noticed you. “What the hell are you doing out here.” She groaned. “Oh— uhm.. nothing I just..” .”Come over here.” She says. “No.. No I wasn’t doing anything I’ll just go back—“ “captains orders.. NOW.” She demands. You sigh and walk over to her keeping a fair distance. You both stare off into the sea for a couple minutes until you blurt something out. “So— Nose.. I- I mean.. about your nose..” “What about it.?!” She yells as her expression darkens. “Okay— before I ask this.. are you.. into girls.. like-.. uh..” you reply anticipating an outburst from her. Her eyes widen and she looks away, you sense a strange type of vulnerability from her. “Yes.” She says quietly, a tone you’ve never heard from her. “So..” you look away from her as she looks away. “Like.. not to be tmi but.. if you’re ever like..” “Spit it out shitstain.” She says firmly. “Can someone like ride your face—“ you say quickly. “WHAT?!” She yells. “Uh— have mercy.!” You put your hands up to cover your face. Surprisingly she bursts out laughing, “never had any problems in the past.” You laugh with her. “Maybe I could show you sometime.” She says winking at you. “You’re such an asshole..” You chuckle.

fem¡buggy¡the¡clown: Who knew you never get good sleep on the ship so one moment alone with peace and quiet was heaven to you; buggy liked to use this to her advantage, making sure to punish you properly for not following orders, you’d be woken up to a hand tickling your face, realizing it was a severed floating one you always knew who it was coming from. Sometimes you could swear you felt the same hand caressing your face or moving your hair behind your ear, but as soon as you opened your eyes it was gone. That was just the start of strange occurrences. Once you made it to land even for a short time, You were so glad to finally have a bed on firm soil, and a shower.!! You recall closing you eyes while washing your hair and feeling a hand touch your neck, you’d jump opening your eyes again but finished washing up, After you marched your way up to buggy and demanded she explains herself. “Are you feeling okay? Maybe I should let you get more sleep.” She’d say demeaningly while smirking at your sunken eyes making you feel like you were crazy.

fem¡buggy¡the¡clown: Who made sure lack of sleep and strange phantom floating hands were a common appearance in your life, and was so glad something was finally starting to get to you, so much you didn’t even question why she had started to chain you up beside her like a dog. you’d fall asleep leaning against her throne sitting on the floor, she’d tickle the nape of your neck to wake you up as soon as you fell asleep. At first you didn’t give in to her but after awhile you would groan and whine from being woken up several times, not having been to sleep in 2 days your once strong emotional bandwidth started to deplete. You began to beg for sleep to a woman you had small respect for. She smiled down at you sadistically and made sure to get her fill of begging out of you, and praise of course. You called her all sorts of wonderful things praising and begging her while sobbing for what felt like hours when in reality was 30 minutes; until she finally gave in and agreed to allowing you sleep as long as it was in her lap, sleep deprived and exhausted you thought it was weird but didn’t question it and immediately sat on her lap. you fell asleep quickly way too out of it to notice her caressing your face as if you were some type of pet to her, occasionally whispering gross things in your ears.

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PT2 ?

[hughjidiot]

Total Drama Island Reboot Season Two: Episodes 2, 3 and 4

Okay wow, was not expecting three new episodes at once. Again I am baffled by both the local and international release schedules. But I'm continuing to watch and enjoy this reboot, here are my rough impressions of all the characters in all three episodes. Spoilers below the cut, obviously.

Chase is out second. Pretty obvious boot with how he behaved in the challenge, but that's just how TDI is sometimes. Glad he went early if I'm being honest since his whole subplot with Emma had run its course and there wasn't much more to get out of Chase. Speaking of which though...

Emma was out fourth, which kind of surprised me. I thought she might get an arc of finally forgetting about Chase and moving on, but then she goes and gets eliminated. Maybe they're saving an Emma arc for if gen 4 gets a third season? Who knows. A little disappointing but not a huge loss.

And between them, Millie is out third. Not surprising if I'm being honest; Millie had a chance to train up to be a stronger player with Priya's help, but neglected to actually study for it. And then in episode 2 when she tries to think creatively to help her team win, her lack of social skills is what did her in when she failed to consider how pissed her team would be for tricking Damien down the most dangerous slide. Her elimination feels like a natural consequence of her own actions and shortcomings instead of the contrived coincidences that Total Drama was guilty of many times in past seasons.

Then there's Damien himself. So far he still hasn't done a whole lot, but he's definitely shown to have become more self-confident with the way he called out Millie and how he was willing to brave that rickety bridge in episode 3. Time will tell if he makes it far.

Zee continues to be hilarious. Not really having much of an impact in terms of plotlines with other characters, but he always gets a laugh out of me. "Not thinking is my specialty!"

Gotta say, I thought Priya would have at least shown a little more of a reaction to her bestie being voted off. Still her plotline with Caleb is interesting. I can picture this leading to drama down the road where she realizes Caleb has just been trying to build an alliance rather than flirt with her. Or who knows, maybe Caleb will develop genuine feelings for her and it becomes a ship. Could go either way.

Speaking of Caleb, he represents the biggest difference between the writing of the reboot and previous seasons. Not once does the show portray him as antagonistic in trying to manipulate Priya into an alliance; he's just trying to form a strong partnership to make it farther in the game. Helps immensely that Caleb isn't actively cruel like Heather and Alejandro; he's genuinely chill despite his determination. Him literally carrying most of his team in episode 3 was awesome, not gonna lie.

Nichelle continues to dominate and be awesome in challenges. However I can't help but notice she's not really trying to get close to anyone, like Caleb is with Priya for example. I have a feeling that could come back to bite her if people vote her off for being a potential threat ala Caleb in season one.

I'm loving Axel so far. She's much better about being a team player but also hasn't lost her edge. I also like how we're getting depth to her, like her love of poetry. And then there's her romance with Ripper which I did not see coming. More on that later.

Holy shit, I was hoping for more of the MK/Julia alliance, but I wasn't expecting this much! I'm loving MK's unorthodox strategy of disguising as an intern to get inside information, it's very unique.

Oh and MKulia might become a thing. "Oh stop it, you'll make me blush!" "If MK's brain drove a cool car, I would totally date it." Watching these episodes I was like Wait are they gonna go there? Oh my god they might actually go there! And if they do, I am here for it!

Wayne and Raj continue to be very wholesome and hilarious! I love the dynamic they bring to Team Skunk Butt, wanting to play fair while Julia and MK cheat. And stuck in the middle...

is Bowie. I'm loving the drama of his character arc: he's still willing to pull the same underhanded tactics he used in season one and is all in on MK's strategy, but now has Wayne and especially Raj are acting as his morality pets. Some are predicting this could lead to a Rajbow break up, but I honestly don't think they'd do that. What I think will happen is Team Skunk Butt loses a challenge despite MKulia cheating again with Bowie's knowledge, Bowie feels terrible, and to make it up he offers to eliminate himself if one of the Hocky Bros is about to be voted off.

Last but not least, Ripper. Gonna be honest, he was my least favorite of gen 4 in season one; I didn't care for his focus on gross-out humor and he survived eliminations over characters I liked more. I didn't expect much from him going into season two so I was blindsided here. Not only is his gross out humor significantly toned down (but still present) but he proved to be quite endearing with his insecurity over his crush on Axel. I was especially stunned in episode four when he actually tried to connect with Axel's interest in poetry and actually wrote a poem for her, something I could never see season 1 Ripper doing. And Axel reciprocating with a kiss despite not seeming interested in him earlier? My haw hit the floor. Before I was hoping he'd be an early boot, but now I find myself actually wanting to see Ripper stick around and see where things go with him as a character and his potential relationship with Axel. I... actually like Ripper now, which is a sentence I never thought I'd say.

A few minor issues aside, I am loving this new season so far. I haven't genuinely enjoyed Total Drama since the original TDI 15 years ago.

[tubbytarchia]

You don't have to publish this ask but I just need to vent to someone who might understand, cause like, I'm over here like "I don't like fh or scott sorry, I promise though I won't talk about it or maintag just letting you know so you don't waste time since I know there's overlap between us, also I have a lot of interesting ideas about them still but I won't talk or write about them because I know that would make some of you upset and more than anything else I want everyone here to have a fun time and ship and let ship <3" and these unproblematic only fh fans will turn around and be like "oh so you're homophobic? You're the most annoying person on the planet? You're just trying to start a ship war? You're the problem with fandom" like BITCH?! Never met people so determined to make their actually quite comparatively good and healthy fandom toxic

This is where it stops being funny and actually genuinely really upsets me, is that very few people dare to talk about "toxic" Flower Husbands, let alone maintag it (and they should be able to! Because it's not fucking hate? Its valid discussion and expression of opinion that doesn't attack anyone). A few people have been more vocal about it recently and I've seen more people besides you come forth NOW, because you didn't want to upset anyone or get shittalked etc in the past for holding a different opinion to the overwhelming majority. I know people who've joked "am I just insane? Am I just stupid for seeing something here that everybody else is vehemently against?". There's evidently people who have just shut up because otherwise they'll get burned at stake, or they stay in their own little circles

And then a few too many FH posts that dare even imply any negative qualities about FH from a character standpoint get a little bit seen, and suddenly FH tag is full of 10 people defending their ship's honor because how dare you!! The way these people are so fucking volatile about fuck-all upsets me so much. Like, haha, we've been proven right I guess! You DO get burned at stake. These people probably aren't even bothering to read any such FH interpretations if they even SEE any, and don't just see 5 other posts claiming "oh my god can people just shut up about toxic FH and write characters breaking up for NORMAL reasons" (genuinely baffling concern that I've seen like at least 3 times btw??) that just leads them to believe that this is a wide-spread "problem" that needs neutralizing? They take even the thought of such posts as personal attacks that prohibit them from shipping FH for some reason? Like dude I fucking dig FH? Just for not always the same reasons as the majority but I guess I've sinned and shouldn't be allowed to speak lol. And these people don't HAVE to read interpretations they don't like, goddamn, look past?? Block if it hurts you that much?? As you said, the Tumblr traffic fandom is largely really kind and healthy so I can't fathom where the hell these guys come from. And then they proclaim the people who have largely shut up or kept to themselves "the problem", and that's the exact response that has been feared lmao

sorry. Long answer but fuck. I'm so sorry anon. The Flower Husbands scene is truly miserable if you dare think of them as anything other than cuddly and cute and teasing at most. Your interpretation is invalid because. ? homophobia I guess lmao

[mimibwi]

My thoughts on shipping

I have previously been silently exploring BTS ships and decided to put some of my thoughts on “paper”.

Now, I have been aware of the toxicities of certain BTS shipper fandoms and how messy shipping has been for groups that pre-date BTS such as One direction and Fifth Harmony. I have personally never been much of a shipper before BTS and naturally discovering my ship’s bond and starting to appreciate it. It always baffles me how shipping seems to mean different things to different people or groups of shippers. This is heard often but shipping should be something done for fun and I won’t say I hate that logic or that I 100% agree with it because I personally think its okay if you have a slight inkling your favorite pair may be dating/more than what they say they are and you try looking at it a bit more seriously. I think it’s human nature to be inquisitive and curious. However, like everything, there needs to be a limit and I think that’s a huge problem not only in shipping culture but stan culture in general. There’s been so many times that I have seen jokes or otherwise harmless discourses become a bigger deal than they were ever meant to be.

To me shipping is and always would be about observation, (rational) speculation and possibilities. I am never going to fight with anyone to prove my ship is real in a romantic way because to be frank I genuinely do not know. None of us know and that’s okay. I like discussing the possibility of ships (mainly my ship) being real (this always irks me to say cause every ship is real but anyway) and sometimes even theorize things based on that assumption. This is getting a bit messy because I have so much I want to say but I have no structure to it, bare with me.

Basically, what I am trying to say is, I think shipping is okay within limits. Once again, its all about observations and all of us are only human and can’t help but pick up on things from time to time and who knows maybe your hunch might actually mean something. So I never see any shippers or ship dynamic as a competition. I even seek out analysis, theories and videos of other ships because I love to see the different dynamics and how differently we all think and how things can look solely based on one’s perspective. Despite how frustrating it gets, I find shipping culture in itself very interesting. The way the same things can be interpreted in so many ways, seeing how differently people think from me and in many cases how other’s thoughts challenge my perspective and opinions.

The type of shipping I don’t enjoy is the type that:

makes it a competition of who is the closest or which bond is the best.

is already CONVINCED and 100% without a doubt BELIEVES that the ship they enjoy is the “real” one because like I said before none of us know for sure. It gets even worse because this subset of people speak about their theories/analysis/opinions as if its a fact known by many and some of us just need to get with the program.

degrade other members for ships. this is an instant red flag for me and if I’m being honest, many shippers aren’t as forward with the hate they have toward the member that “threatens” their ship. I have seen many shippers say the vilest things or agree with the rudest asks about some of the boys but at the end say “but I love him though” like…do you? do you really?—

push theories and delusions into the boy’s spaces to get confirmation…side eye. This is one of the worst things to me honestly. Shipping is meant to be enjoyed within fandom spaces and no matter how real you think your ship is, there is absolutely no reason to try to bring it to the boy’s attention that you apparently know what they are. Please do not make weird, inappropriate or suggestive comments about ships on their welives, do not DM them about it, do not DM or bug their family, friends and colleagues about it. PLEASE JUST BE NORMAL!!! If a ship is in fact real, they have their reasons for not being public about it and you as a fan of the group and especially as someone who enjoys the pair should be respectful of that. Sure it’s fine to talk about the duos on weverse or tag the boys in cute edits because I’m sure they like that their friendships are appreciated but please be cautious when pushing it to them through a romantic lens.

I think this takes away a lot of the fun of shipping and these subsets of shippers along with others I may have missed out here are the reason that the fandom tries to push out shippers for the most part. I always joke about many non toxic shippers getting thrown into it when all some of us really do is cry and gush about our ship TT its such a shame. But its understandable since the toxic shippers make up a large, VERY LOUD subset of the fandom and with the track record of shipping among groups, I frankly wish a lot of you weren’t around either.

((a lot more below the cut))

My Approach

To me, showing love and appreciation for the very REAL bond that we see is always going to be essential and the basis of everything I do as a shipper. And I am not talking about any theories or analysis of what we’re shown but taking in and appreciating what the boys say and the many ways they show love to each other.

No matter who you ship this is a very easy task to accomplish because the tannies are so loving and every single pair or trio has a special bond that is intriguing to explore. I have learnt so much in the few years I’ve been an ARMY, not only from my ship but from almost every ship and just the tannies on a whole. They’ve taught me a lot about friendship and help me understand the type of relationships I should aim to have and the type of person I want to be for others. These lessons and small appreciations are what I’ve anchored myself to so that I don’t stray too much from this original plot and even if I do, it’s very easy to find my way back.

That being said, I have acknowledged that I can be very delusional. I refuse to believe any of my theories or the theories that any shipper presents to me as 100% fact, no matter how convincing they might sound. I have accepted that everything I theorize about could be 1000% wrong and very very far from what is true and I’m fine with that thought. It’s what allows me to think up far fetch little theories or blip off into these delusional mind bubbles where my ship is real. It’s also why I can get out of my head and acknowledge the fact that it’s likely that no ship in BTS are romantic [ref to My unpopular(?) shipping opinions and this ask]. All of it is because I leave room for deniability.

I’ve expressed this here before but it is very much baffling to me how so many shippers believe with 100% certainty that the pair they like are actually dating and are willing to go to war over it. Y’all are way better than me because I, personally, refuse to look like a fool on the world wide web. Don’t get me wrong, I would definitely defend the tannies from the “not friends anymore” or “fanservice” allegations but I am not going out of my way to fight with delusional people about 2 Korean men (who I don’t know personally😭) being sexually or romantically involved. Y’all can keep that!

Why I don’t believe the believers

Okay now I’ll try to move on and talk about why some shipper discourses or theories don’t hold up to me and why its quite insane and sort of foolish to believe a ship exists in a romantic light 100% based solely on them. The short answer of this is CONTEXT.

Forming opinions and arguments (I am not saying shipping should be an argument but since many shippers treat it like one, I’m addressing it as such for now) about a topic always requires a massive amount of context and a foundation of already factual information to be built from to sound even remotely plausible and valid. That’s why I mentioned before that a lot of this shipping business is speculation and opinions and frankly some of the speculation/opinions I see from shippers just don’t make sense to me. This is all because with BTS and any real person whose life we only see a fraction of, we lack a lot of context and for that reason building a solid argument from a 5 second clip of their life is difficult because we as outsiders are the ones who fill in the blanks. That’s why there usually isn’t any solid or shared opinion on what certain things said or done by the guys mean because we all have different experiences and biases that reflect in the way we see and interpret people’s actions.

Okay, I am going to go into a bit more detail about what I mean and what type of context I am referring to when I say this: (this is where it may get even messier, stay with me)

1// Situational context- This is more for the shippers that breakdown specific moments and (over)analyze them. Personally, I am a big picture person so whilst there may be particular moments that I see as a moment for or against a particular ship being more than friends, most times one clip or period of time doesn’t affect the way I view a ship. I think its drastic to constantly be changing your opinions based on every clip you see or changing it because a ship hasn’t publicly interacted in a while. Despite all of this, there are many things I keep in the back of my mind and maybe even form fun, (tbh) far-fetched theories on but for the most part it doesn’t change much for me. The reason why is because from moment to moment, clip to clip there is so much context that we don’t have about what’s happening in that one moment. Like did x have a bad morning? did he just receive bad/good news? is he looking forward to or dreading what he needs to do after this? is x going through something personally right now? did x and y have a falling out/misunderstanding? is x looking at y or is he just zoned out?

Okay this is going overboard and some of these may sound quite ridiculous but these are some of the millions of things that give context to a situation and for that reason they’re all things that need to be taken into consideration when analyzing the boys. I won’t even lie, I was thinking about Taehyung and Jungkook (to a lesser extent) for these cause if I see someone calling Tae rude or saying Jungkook is jealous one more time I might lose it. I am not saying any of the above ever happened cause once again I don’t know but all I am saying is stating any opinion of yours of a vague moment as fact without even exploring one of the above or any other possible factors is never going to let me take you seriously. I am also not saying every shipper who talks about a moment needs to be able to tell me what x had for breakfast that morning but if you express your observation/opinion as the truth I expect you to be able to give me CONTEXT. It feels like I am going in circles, I told you it was getting messy.

There are moments that hold up quite well on their own and have sufficient context. In other words, some things don’t require much explanation to be seen as truth. I guess what I am trying to say is the amount of factual information you have should remain proportionate to the assumptions and opinions you form. Too many times people use tiny moments to come to huge conclusions and connect dots that make no sense being connected. And I think its fun to be a bit far-fetch and delusional but it becomes a huge issue when nonsensical theories are posted on the internet and pushed to other people who don’t understand how irrational those theories are. Hence, I often believe in freedom of thought more so than freedom of speech; not everything you think needs to be said, you can keep things to yourself or at the very least only share it with one person or two that you trust to understand your intent.

2// Cultural context- I will try not to stick to this for too long because I am not Korean, so I can add very little cultural context to any ship moment minus those I have been told about before. There are some things that the boys do or say that would probably have a different meaning to me vs someone who is aware of Korean culture. There are many times, none that I can pinpoint at this time, that I see a comment or post explaining a clip/moment with cultural context, which changed my view on that particular moment. Like I said, I am threading lightly here cause there is not much I can add to this conversation. I am adding this here to remind you that the moment that is a big deal to you may just be normal for Koreans shrugs. This one is even more difficult than the first because cultural context isn’t something you can just make assumptions about, its something you need to be exposed to to understand. A mere Google search may not even cut it to fully understand as an outsider.

Things like honorifics and politeness levels of speech or even specific translations need to be taken with a grain of salt. The bromance and skinship aspect of K-pop/Korean culture is also a huge part of shipping that may be new to people from different cultures. In many countries in the West, skinship between men isn’t something very normalized or in many cases even socially acceptable so the amount that BTS show physical affection to each other might be startling to many international fans when it’s something that’s more socially acceptable in Korea and normalized amongst their team.

“Holding hands, linking arms, and hugging amongst friends are acceptable ways to show closeness and comfort. So, don’t assume that every two persons holding hands in public are romantically involved! Conversely, public displays of affection by romantic couples are more toned down compared to in societies like, say, the US”. 4 Distinctly Korean Habits To Know Before Going To Korea (sejong.com.sg)

None of this is to say that certain types of skinship can’t mean more to any two members or to say we can’t find the interactions cute or endearing. It once again boils down to the confidence shippers have when using these moments as proof of their ship being the real deal.

3// Differing personalities, beliefs and relationship dynamics- All of these points bleed into each other and are interconnected in some way but I think this one is basically the backbone of all of the others. Despite having situational or even cultural context, its still difficult to draw any clear conclusions because EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT and any analysis or opinion will need to treat them as such—different people with different values, morals, beliefs, likes, priorities, dislikes, experiences and the lists goes on.

No matter how well the boys get on, they have continuously expressed how different all of them are as people. And because of that, no two ship can or should ever be viewed in the same lens. I think this “mistake” is something I see a lot in shipping: X and Y did this and X and Z didn’t hence XY>XZ, I honestly don’t think its that simple. In order to fully grasp a ship and its possibility of being real, you need to have a good idea of who the people you’re shipping are and what their likes, dislikes, values, priorities etc are.

Now this, like all these other points require a lot of assumptions to be made. Firstly, it assumes you interpret everything they say and do the way they meant it to come across, it assumes that their BTS persona is a good reflection of who they are as people OR that you have a good idea who they might be as people. I don’t know how to explain this one cause there are members that we as fans know as being a bit different on vs off camera and some of those differences are known to an extent but once again we’re dealing with a lot of assumptions so its tricky. Anyway, many shipper theories assume that we know how they’d react in various circumstances.

There are a few reasons I am bringing this up and I’ll mention it here to better explain myself. Like I said, I have been searching around at ship content just cause the more you fuck around the more you find out and I have been seeing people’s takes on shipping and forming opinions on them. At some point, I started feeling hypocritical cause of how my opinion may be different for particular ships and I concluded that this point was one of the reasons why. Let me explain-

I saw some people giving % probability scores for certain ships being romantic and the thought came into my head that Yoongi ships, I think they were specifically talking about yoonmin or sope, are not probable to me if we’re seriously thinking romantically. Even as someone who thinks Yoongi may be into men/women/both/none (girl honestly idk). The reason why i think this way is looking at Yoongi and what (I assume) his priorities and goals are in life. I mention in a previous post that I question the member’s willingness to take the risk that would come with being in a relationship with a bandmate and how I think that many of them don’t come across to me as being willing to. Yoongi is the epitome of that opinion for me. I mention this in the next point but dating someone within the same group as you will definitely be a big deal, it will be a PR/HR emergency if anything goes wrong and I don’t see Yoongi as the type of person to want to play around that and sacrifice his work for love whether he felt emotions or even trained himself to the point that feelings don’t develop in the first place. [I’ve said that I never want to date someone in the same field as me and after that, i haven’t found any of my colleagues attractive or as a romantic interest, even when I tried]

I think another example that works really well for this is Jimin and the way a lot of shipper’s interpret him compared to how I do. I think any ARMY or any one who keeps up with BTS for even 5 minutes, can see that Jimin is a very private person. Of all the members, he comes across to me as someone who is very cautious and particular(?) about the way he’s perceived. He’s very careful with his words and his actions. You can watch any video he’s in and see how much he thinks before he says something to the members (especially when it’s of a serious nature) or to ARMYs. A very easy example of this is how concerned he was in the FESTA 2022 video about how we may take what they said and almost pleading for the audience to just take them by their word (something that literally almost every person who watched that video DID NOT do but we move smh…). All of this to say, I can’t subscribe to theories that believe that Jimin is pointing out things between him and his secret partner or behaving risky with them in front of cameras and giggling about it. I can get into this more but I’ll digress.

I am not sure how these examples will come across but these are just some random examples I can think of where I think varying personalities might affect the way I see a ship. This is not me claiming any particular ship is over another or saying that any of these above points are true because my opinions are based on my specific perception of the different members and I am not claiming I know them best.

All in all, there is only so much (little) that we know of them, its difficult to know for certain what any of them would be like in a romantic relationship. However, it seems like many shippers tend to remove the bits of individuality we do see of each member whenever they look into ships which further makes things even more unrealistic and delusional sounding to me.

To add to this, many times shippers interpret things based on their idea of a relationship without really putting themselves in the member’s place. This is totally understandable considering what I mentioned before about us being the ones that fill in the blanks but it’s one of the reasons why we can’t take our theories 100% seriously all the time. At the end of the day, every single relationship is different and something that might be okay for the members in a relationship may not be okay with you or the way the members choose to deal with their relationship may not be how you think it should or would be dealt with. So once again, you can’t take your interpretation of things too seriously. If a ship is real, we aren’t and would never be privy to their private conversations regarding what is okay for them in THEIR relationship. We don’t know what their limits are or how they would choose to maneuver through their relationship on camera so our view of things will always be one-sided.

4// Knowing the gravity of the situation if any ship is real- This one is basically situational context but on a wider scope and might be the most serious of all of these, despite me putting it last on the list. I think a lot of people who ship members romantically do not even consider how serious a situation like that would be. For the most part, I don’t think this is a problem if we’re just having fun but I think people who seriously analyze things the boys do need to take it into consideration. We all are aware at least to some extent of the state of LGBTQ+ in South Korea. Korea is still a very conservative country and though members of the LGBTQ+ community are actively seeking change, things are not as progressive as one would hope.

Taking that into consideration, any two members of BTS— the biggest K-pop group in the world and one of South Korea’s representative brands— being aware that they have more than platonic feelings for each other would be a huge deal. There’s a lot to consider regarding the way the other member’s would approach it, the way the company would approach it and the way the two members themselves would want to deal with it: whether or not they decide to pursue it and if they do, how they go about doing that.

Any two members dating would serve a huge risk for not only those two members but the group as a whole and the other members individually. Aside from the risks of any of the members being queer, the fact that we as shippers aren’t opposed to the idea of two members dating and the fact that many ARMYs would also be open to it if it ever turned out to be the case DOES NOT take away from the fact that such a relationship may be seen as highly unprofessional and inappropriate. We know all the boys are friends who have grown up closely alongside each other and feelings developing is something that is possible but at the end of the day, they are coworkers working together as BTS and many people may not be able to look past that.

I think many shippers look at ships in a very isolated way. They remove the very real world that we live in and all the problems that would come along with a ship being real and opt to live in a world where their ship is real and everything around them is always sunshine and rainbows. And I get it, that’s way more fun but it is not realistic. I think its fine to have this outlook if you are shipping just for fun but that is a lot of the times not the case. Many of these shippers on YouTube, tumblr or X that seriously analyze these relationships tend to feed a very unrealistic, clouded world view to others that may also be very naïve thinking. This is why a lot of theories grow to become these huge nonsensical conspiracies that any rational person can deduce makes absolutely no sense in the real world. Let’s address some specifics:

Addressing some unrealistic shipperverse theories

Any “real” ship in BTS are not being careless with their relationship in front of cameras or when doing other work. All your theories about them kissing on/around cameras or going into changing rooms together during award shows and coming back dishevel will never hold up to me.

If a ship is involved romantically and the company is aware of it, there’s most likely only a small subset of people that would actually know. My guess of who would know is: some higher ups in the company, the members, a select few managers and maybe bodyguards, possibly trusted and long time members of the BTS team i.e. PDogg, Son Sungdeuk, Slow rabbit etc. and perhaps a trusted PR team to advice them on how to deal with things. Even this list feels a bit too extensive. Anyway I am making this point because I don’t get why shippers think that random hairstylists or camera directors or editors would be privy to such sensitive information. And this stands for any relationship really, it’s unlikely that ALL of their staff are even aware if any of the boys are in more “traditional” (heterosexual) relationships so why do some of you act like it’ll be an open secret if any of them are queer.

Theories about love triangles or stories saying a member left a member for another member are so crazy out of touch?? Any one pair realizing their feelings for each other and choosing to pursue it despite the risk it poses to them and to the team is unquestionably a huge deal and would need to be dealt with an immense degree of care. So its very hard to believe that the members are haphazardly messing around with each other, cheating, breaking up and just overall being messy about the whole thing.

I genuinely don’t get why you people think any pair in the group are being blatant and basically trying to out themselves to the public at this point in their career. It’s not far fetched to think that they would have or want some way to express themselves but I doubt it’s as blatant as shippers suggest. Honestly, if a couple does exist amongst the tannies I am not even confident it’s something the public may ever be made aware of…

Conclusion

All in all, I think shipping is something that can be really fun but needs to be done with a huge amount of care and respect. Making assumptions about the boys and being dead set on one particular possibility being the end game can be detrimental, not only to the boys but to you as well. Many shippers are very confident and secure about their ship being real romantically and will stop at nothing to prove their point. This is a very ridiculous approach because I would bet that a secret couple don’t want or need you to prove their realness, they also don’t need you to spread their message to the world and convert people to your side. It really should not be that serious. Shipping should be something that simmers instead of boiling over. Just enjoy what you enjoy without spreading hate and without seeking real life confirmation through the members or dispatch or their family.

With the tannies getting older, it’s important for all of us to have somewhat of an understanding that what we have imagined or want their life to be may just not be what is true. I would hate (though I have already seen it being in the future of some ships😞) to see the larry-fication of any of these ships where 10-15 years in the future, shippers are still making random connections even if the members are known to be married to other people and have 5 kids. With there being 21 unique pairings within the group, even if it turns out that one of them is “real” doesn’t that mean that the possibility of most of us being wrong is greater than us being right. And that is, if we ever find out…

This was always meant to be the first post on my blog but because of the shipper climate around the time I started writing it, I held back on posting it how I initially intended to. I decided to give it a bit of a revamp and edit it to fit with what I want my little blog here to be. I’ve been writing this for almost a year now and have enjoyed putting these thoughts together in a somewhat concise and comprehensible way. Even if you don’t agree with everything I said here, I hope the main point comes across i.e. no shipper knows better than the other, we’re all going based off our own perspective and rational and so we shouldn’t be 100% certain and we shouldn’t be fighting over or confidently pushing ideas that we are probably wrong about. I really don’t care who ships who (ship and let ship) but I certainly think shippers need to be more careful about the things they say and do in the name of ships.

Thank you for reading!💜

~~🐝

links used in the post:

Harry Styles & Louis Tomlinson 'Ships' Into a Delusional Twitter Trend (ccn.com)

Lauren Jauregui Says Those Camila Cabello Relationship Rumors Were ‘So Traumatizing’ | Glamour

https://www.sejong.com.sg/4-distinctly-korean-habits-to-know-before-going-to-korea/

Interesting reads:

Queer Identity in Korea | CIEE

Ask a Korean!: I Love You, Man

It’s all in the Touch – Skinship. (스킨십) | Elwood 5566

LGBTQ Koreans Eager for Anti-Discrimination Bill | TIME

Narrow but Significant Win for LGBT Rights in South Korea (voanews.com)

[cursedtrashmuppet]

Is this anything? Spoilers for OFMD S2 below.

In my defense, I'm not a media critic, I might not be really putting this correctly, I'm just thinking thoughts here.

Hot Take, this is a probably a gross overgeneralization but is part of the issue that many OFMD fans who were intrigued by or outright loved Izzy are those (perhaps older?) fans who have lived so long in the media landscape where ALL queer themes were subtext, so we got used to reading things that way? Then OFMD comes along and has that subtext but then starts to turn that subtext into actual text. THEN, while we are continuing to read the show for subtext (what isn’t said by the characters, their reactions to things and how that does or does not align with their actions and what they say etc.) The last maybe half the season starts to forego the subtext and start textually telling us what is going on - Ed apologizing –he says it, other characters acknowledge it– but we never actually see him re-bonding with anyone on the crew but Fang or endearing himself to people again, or acting all that remorseful beyond allowing lucius to push him off the ship** and buying party supplies with the loot he ground everyone down to steal. Stede telling us that Ed turned “poison into positivity” (see above, buying party supplies -I guess, girl, whatever.) Izzy telling Ed that he was the dark side of blackbeard and made Ed do all the vile stuff that Ed did (When anyone watching can see that yes- Izzy did verbally abuse Ed and tried to bully him, but in so many of their season 1 interactions and CERTAINLY season 2, Ed was the one with more power, and not just the captaincy but he had agency and power in the relationship) but if you were watching the show and assuming characters were not always telegraphing their genuine emotions and understanding their feelings, I just don’t get how we could chalk Ed’s darkness (the struggle with that darkness which is what makes his character really compelling) up to the actions of another character who we didn’t SEE constantly ‘making’ him do things. We saw him trying to cajole Ed into doing things but it never really worked until 1x10. So the writing/characters keep TELLING us what the actions mean, meanwhile, those of us assuming the subtext was still the prime thing to watch were expecting a lot of the exposition and characters telling you things to be unreliable narrator stuff - what the CHARACTER thought in the moment, but not necessarily what the narrative was saying or what the character was actually feeling or doing. So then when it turned out that the exposition and stuff-they-were-telling-you actually revealed itself to be where the narrative was really going, we were astounded and baffled because they TOLD us what they were doing, they didn’t SHOW us - so we were all like, wait, did I misread the show? But I don’t think we did. I think we were just reading the show the way we had been taught and arguably, the way the writers were seeming to take things in the first half of season 2. It’s just perhaps that when they needed to wrap things up, the writers didn’t have time to lead us there or to show us, so they just TOLD us “this is what we’re telling you is happening and is objectively reality” but that’s not what they had previously done so we kept watching and waiting for the subtextual elements to come to fruition and they never did. Is this a thing? I’m not sure I am explaining it well, and I’m not saying anyone is a bad writer or not media-literate, I’m genuinely wondering if there was a disconnect/miscommunication with the writing and a certain portion of the audience - either because of budget/timing or a thought that they didn’t need to rely on subtextual elements so much? I don’t know, man. I’m just a girl who likes a pirate show and is now really sad at it.

**which maybe? Seems to show that Ed’s idea of forgiveness is perhaps vengeance and not actual forgiveness, he’s like ‘i know, if you do to me what I did to you, that will solve it.’ But, like, no, that’s obviously not going to fix it and it doesn’t, but what does this idea say about Ed that he thought it would? Intriguing! Sadly, this isn’t examined again and it’s left up to Lucius to move on by himself without really resolving things with Ed. (This kind of shit is WHY. I really like Ed! He is complex and imperfect and has interesting motivations!)

[thestobingirlie]

it's really frustrating how common it is for fics to include steve having been attracted to b*lly as if it's a given when (imo) it's v obvious that any attraction there was one-sided. like b*lly was p obsessed w steve (and that one showers scene is certainly something🙃) but steve always just looks irritated by b*lly or baffled by how much of a dick he is (thinking specifically of that scene where he offers steve a hand up on the court and steve has such a 'wtf' look on his face lol). like we've seen how steve acts around ppl he's into so i don't understand how his constant irritation at even being around b*lly plus his monotone, bitchy comments (like that time he asked b*lly if he was dropped on his head as a child) reads as anything other than steve disliking b*lly. also i wanted to clarify i'm not talking about h*rringrove shippers w this - this pops up constantly untagged in any fic where steve is queer/bi/etc from ppl who (from what i can tell) do not actively ship them. also also all of this analysis is restricted specifically to pre-b*lly's racist ass trying to attack lucas bc anyone that genuinely thinks steve could have been attracted to b*lly after that does not even remotely understand steve's character imo. maybe this is just the natural result of h*rringrove being the predominant steve ship for so long but if all you want is a cheap joke about steve having bad taste in men just say he had a crush on tommy, it would make more sense. this becomes doubly annoying when ppl contrast this w nancy as an example of his good taste in women when we all know how she ended up treating him. i've also seen ppl do this w steve being into jonathan w no effort at setting up them actually interacting substantially which similarly makes no sense to me but it annoys me less bc i like stonathan.

i can definitely see the argument for billy having some sort of feelings for steve, because he is fucking weird around him and oddly obsessed.

but yeah, i don’t see in canon any evidence for steve reciprocating, he kind of always looks like his goal is to be anywhere else.

and it’s weird to just use it as some kind of evidence that steve’s been attracted to boys before, it’d probably be easier to just make some guy up. but like, even if steve thought billy was hot, i think that feeling went away after he beat him unconscious.

i love stonathan, but they definitely require more set up than most people feel like putting the effort in for.

i feel like so many steddie ‘tropes’ are just ways of making fun of steve for no fucking reason. like, they make up a list of men that steve was attracted to, solely so they can mock that taste in men. it just doesn’t make sense.

[ashleybenlove]

Okay so I’ve been struck with an idea I really want to share and you seemed like the type of person who might like it? It’s kind of a ramble so I’m sorry if this is bothersome

You personally really opened my mind to HTTYD polyships (love your OT6 works) and in the idealized universe in my head (everyone has one of those right? 😂) I’ve been constructing a polycule and just a few days ago while thinking really hard about this fic based on all those with Hiccup raised by dragons but with Dagur instead; rolling it around and exploring the idea of how that Dagur might interact with the other characters when I was hit by a sudden brainwave. What if he became smitten with Toothless? Like if he was raised by dragons it would make sense that he would be attracted to dragons first and foremost however his relationship with Hiccup might develop. And then it was only a small jump to apply this to a more canon-adjacent universe; where after some time in a relationship with Hiccup (who is separately dating Toothless amongst others) Dagur would sometimes hang out with Toothless separately maybe if Hiccup was doing something neither felt the need to tag along for(he is the only person other than Hiccup to call him by a nickname, T, after his redemption but that might just be a Dagur thing he calls a lot of people by nicknames but something about him calling Toothless T just struck me as awfully friendly of him). And as they spend time just hanging out maybe they both become fonder of eachother than they were expecting. And then they date too.

And this also like connects Toothless in the polycule more if that makes sense? Like if he was only dating Hiccup and was just committed to his Soulmate for the rest of his life that’s one thing but after THW (which of course has to have it’s bones picked for good parts that are few and far between) he also has the Lightfury who I guess he could just be seeing for family-rearing purposes if that’s a direction he wanted to take his life in but couldn’t before. But it does show him committing to a romantic relationship outside of Hiccup so the fact that he wasn’t dating anyone else almost seemed weird like he never had romantic feelings for anyone but his rider? No one was interested in him? IDK I guess it just seemed interesting to me to explore Toothless in a relationship with someone who wasn’t his soulmate or the drakina he had kids with

And I’m imagining after Toothless realizes he has feelings esp requited he decides to court in a human manner bc I headcanon Toothcup just kind of falling together easily. Like they have a conversation about love and romance, probably after GOTNF, actually now I’m trying to outline a separate fic at you I’m sorry but just know that I’m my head they skip straight from besties to almost literally married (as in, literally but in the dragons culture) in like, one conversation. So Toothless has never courted before so he does things like grabbing a mouthful of flowers ect. ect. And Dagur I’d like ‘Oh gods why is this happening again. I was terrible to him, I hunted him, WHY DO I NOW HAVE A CRUSH WHY DO I KEEP MAKING TERRIBLE IMPRESSIONS ON PEOPLE I WANT TO LIKE ME’ and is genuinely baffled but delighted that Toothless reciprocates. I’ve only been turning this over for a day or two so I’m not sure how he acts in the relationship but I’m so invested in the two of them slowly building up a relationship outside of their shared feeling for Hiccup. Like I’ve always liked them being genuine friends but this just hit me out of nowhere and I really wanted to share it.

And I guess I chose you because when I thought of the intersection of Dagcup, Toothcup, and general HTTYD polycule madness I thought of you. I love your work in this fandom and I love the way you build encompassing relationships between so many disparate people. I’d love to hear what you think about this little ship idea

Please accept this picture of my HTTYD studies cuddling as payment for reading my excessive ramble

Aww, thank you!!! That's very nice of you to say!!! 🥰

(Very cute picture!!!)

I like your idea! Dagur being raised by dragons (technically, a feral child) definitely works considering how feral he generally is.

As for Dagur and Toothless, I always point repeatedly at the fact that the number one thing that gave Hiccup pause, that made Hiccup want to trust Dagur is that Toothless let Dagur (who had previously been pretty hostile to him) ride him to save Hiccup. Toothless is a good judge of character. (He let Hiccup live, after all.)

And yeah, Hiccup and Toothless being practically married by the end of GOTNF is good. I mean, one could easily be like "oh the forehead touch in HTTYD2 is when they got married." Sure, but also: Hiccup and Toothless have been married for like, years by that point. That's like, them renewing their vows.

Also love this: "IDK I guess it just seemed interesting to me to explore Toothless in a relationship with someone who wasn’t his soulmate or the drakina he had kids with". Because like, yeah, that's the whole point of fanworks. Let's play in the sandbox a different way!!! Let Toothless have a separate relationship with Dagur (whether it's casual or serious!).

Anyways! Great stuff!!! I hope you have lots of fun with it!!!

[sehnsuchts-trunken]

I see your re-opening matchups and I remember I got a lord of the rings matchup from you awhile ago and loved it! So I thought why not get one for the hobbit since they're reopened lol🩷🩷

Hiii!!! If it isn't to much trouble may I have (male) hobbit matchup please. My pronouns are she/her. Im a Capricorn, my Mbti type is infj-a/infj-t. I tend to be shy around new people but I can be somewhat loud with people who im close to. My height is 5'0. I would describe my aesthetic as girly/soft/cottegecore, lots of long dresses and skirts.

Im not very athletic and im not a big fan of sports but I love to go roller and ice skating. I also love to read books and to also cook and bake food. I also like to garden. I've been playing the violin for 7 years. I love animals and im planing on becoming a wildlife veterinarian. I like to Watch nature/animal documentaries. I also like sweets.

Somethings I dislike are people who bend or ruin my books and people who speak over me when im trying to talk.I love music, I can listen to any genre and like it but my favorites are indie,bedroom pop and classic rock. My ideal relationship would be with someone who is loyal and supportive. sorry if i spelt anything wrong. Hope im not bothering you:)

(I did in fact copy and paste that lmao 🩷🩷)

i genuinely love that you copy pasted that tbh, im always like darling you wrote this whole paragraph unsaved???? what if it gets lost. what if you want another matchup and dont have it. what if i reach out to you to say ive accidentally deleted it? ANYTHING could happen. maybe im too sensitive but like this happened too many times to my own writing, i wouldnt want it to happen to anyone else. also thank you sm!!! it's great that you liked the other match up enough to come request a new one and i hope you like this one just as much!

I ship you with...

Fili!

It's a wonderfully normal Tuesday in the Shire and you're in the small garden in front of your door, humming a tune with a smile on your face as you repot some of your flowers. You're content, you're at peace, you're doing nothing out of the ordinary and expecting nothing out of the ordinary to happen either and you're perfectly happy with that. And that's when it does happen. You've never seen Bilbo run. You've barely seen Bilbo do anything but sit. But there he is, panting with his hands on his thighs right in front of you, and you set down your pots with a frown and peel off your gloves and tell him to take a deep breath. He's blabbering on about wizard and adventure and you're quite sure you haven't ever been this confused, so you open your door and pull him inside and brew him a tea. And he tells you about Gandalf and his preposition of an "adventure" and the way Bilbo had bid him good day and gone inside.

You brew him another tea, and another, and then you agree to come home with him, to make dinner and dessert and to stay because, well, for a hobbit, that simple conversation with Gandalf alone is already a reason for panic. You're barely sitting down to eat when there's a knock on the door. A knock on the door and a dwarf in front of it. And then there are more.

That's the first day you meet Fili Durin. That's the day you fall in love.

Because Fili is everything. He's handsome and funny and loyal to a fault and you seriously hope no one had paid attention to you when you'd seen him for the first time because yes, you'd been that baffled. Fili may or may not have been the reason you'd agreed to come to the quest. And why not? They needed every helping hand they could get, plus there was no way you'd let Bilbo go alone. So when morning came and you woke up to Bilbo paddling about his home and heard of his plan to run after the company, you'd simply had to come with him.

You'd thought it would have taken you a while to warm up to everybody, like it always did. You didn't talk much that first evening, but the day after, you instantly realised that this was not usual, not normal in any way whatsoever. The dwarves were social and chatty and Kili kept bombarding you with questions from the side, with jokes and laughter, and soon the rest of them joined as well, Bofur and Balin and Gandalf and almost everybody else, and yet somehow you kept sneaking glances at Fili, almost involuntarily.

But Fili was quieter than the rest of the company. Not that he was quiet, no, but he didn't talk that much. So the first time he held watch, when you sat up with a sigh and gave up on sleep, that was the first time you actually had a conversation. Whispered, as to not wake anybody up, but still there. He makes you laugh like barely anyone ever has before, he listens to you so attentively it makes you blush, he smiles when you tell him how much you miss your books and your garden and you find out that he loves nature just as much as you do.

Over the next weeks, you talk more often. You laugh more often and smile more often. You ride next to him and you sleep close to him and sometimes you talk at night, when one of you has to keep watch or when you can't sleep.

When you run into the trolls, you realise for the first time what this quest actually means for you - and that you're totally unprepared for it. You go ice skating when the lake has frozen over in winter, yes, but that's about it when it comes to keeping your body moving and in shape. You confide in Fili a few days later and he offers to teach you. If there's anyone in the company who knows about weapons, it's Fili. You're genuinely shocked with how many of them he pulls out of his coat. But he's patient and he's actually quite a competent teacher, so whenever you find the time, he's there, and you take a while, but you get better at it. You get good enough to defend yourself properly.

It's then when you first kiss. One of those times that you stop and set up camp a little early, when you and Fili sneak off to train. He's showing you how to wield a sword for one of the first times (he'd started with a dagger and knives and thinks you're doing those well enough by now) and he's behind you, his arms around you and he's warm and comfortable and when you turn to look at him, there's that undeniable tension between you. It's pretty perfect. You don't mind.

From then on, it's sweet. Fili is adorable, he's a bit daft at times, but he's the absolute best. He holds you and he smothers you in kisses and he makes you laugh, he braids your hair and begs you to do his and he brings you pebbles and shows you birds and helps you climb up a tree or two.

Once you reclaim Erebor, once Thorin reclaims his throne, no dragon sickness, no nothing, you realise you're actually dating the crown prince now. Because that's what you're doing. You're dating. The thought makes you a little giddy.

You marry Fili one fine summer afternoon. It's hard to leave the Shire behind, of course, but Bilbo promises to stay at the mountain with Thorin until they're old enough to retire to Bag End, so you're not all that alone at the start - plus, Fili helps you bring some of home to Erebor. Some of your plants and books, your dresses and your violin and everything else you need, and suddenly, Erebor feels a lot like home anyway.

You visit the Shire with him - with your husband - as often as you can. And yes, a part of yourself will stay there forever, but Erebor needs you, and Fili needs you, and he makes you so, so very happy that you'd choose him again and again and again without a second thought. So you don't mind all that much in the end.

[myimaginarywonderland]

Coming on here because TikTok keeps bombarding me with videos about people being confused about the nine month cruise thing (literally a dream of mine) and clearing some things up as someone who has been on 3 cruises before (all between 7-15 days, mostly based around families.)

Right, first of all, there is a doctor on board. Most of the time depending on how many people are there for how long, you will have between like 5-10 people off medical staff. They describe certain meds if someone is feeling sick, advise people if it should be something serious etc. I have personally not been sick so much that I had to go to a doctor but my parents did once and I think it was mostly just telling symptoms and getting meds/a recipe like a normal visit. I am assuming if they are staying for longer, the med things might be stocked up once a month at various ports alongside with the food. Should there be a genuine emergency you will find that quiet a few cruises also have an emergency landing place for a small plane to take someone to the closest hospital as fast as you can. And lastly if someone should get pregnant early on (which literally can happen on any holiday trip, some people are just like that) they would obviously have to get off after a few weeks/months because there is a risk. No one is staying on board a good cruise line and delivering a baby, any good staff would make sure to get them to a safe hospital or off a port so they can get home okay when they are still in the non-risk term of a pregnancy.

Secondly, as mentioned before, they stop at ports like at least every 4th/5th day. They get off, explore cities or have planned trip while the crews restock on food etc. As far as I would assume with what I read they also take new passengers on board meaning not every passenger is staying for 9 months but some get on and off at certain stops.

To go along with the food point, I genuinely don't understand how anyone would assume you get sick of the food because it was literally one of the best things on board. You will have a variety of themed dishes, options for all sort of nutritional diets, restaurant that focuses on different meals etc. Not to mention you can always try local food and something there are even tours to explore local food productions (I remember we once went to a farm that produced goat milk products like goat cheese and it was delicious.) I don't know why people think it's just a giant mall with unhealthy food when there is so much with fruits, veggies, pasta etc. It isn't just ice cream, you get sick of eating that within the first 3 days. As for myself, I also had such a craving for fruit because the cooks produce amazing meals and desserts.

Another point that I have seen is alcoholism and trust me, anyone that wants to drink to the abnormal extent will already do that in their free time anyway. Most people who are normal drinks like other people of my family that have been on a different cruise line, had a drink maybe in the evening not all around the clock or every day and then again, some maybe only had a glass of wine with a nice dinner and not 30 cocktails that they drowned.

Secondly I hope most off you realise that 9-month-cruise doesn't mean 9 months on the cruise ship. You get off at at least 30+ ports, explore cities etc. While yes there are some days that will be on the cruise, most of the time (obviously depending on where the ship goes) will be spent exploring. And for the time on board they offer courses that you can spend time at or have sports events etc. You won't get bored easily and after a few days you would also start using the options by the ship because they are fun! Some of the things are genuinely nice surprisingly even for introverted people like myself.

When it comes to affairs etc. it's baffling to me because I can not imagine that being my first thought when thinking about such a cool event. Add to that, everyone who wants to hook up, will do that on any trip and everyone who wants to cheat, will cheat at any chance, just the way people are.

Some other info about cruises that applied on the ones I took:

If you do a planned trip from the cruise, the ship will always with for you no matter how late you are. If you go out on your own however and come back late, they might leave you at the port.

Sometimes the captain will take time out of their day to sit down and answer questions which is really cool. (Don't worry, there are co-coptains.)

There used to be an exercise mandatory that would prep you for an emergency event. Before deporting on the first port, there would be the alert for an emergency and you would be asked to put on your life jacket, go to your right rescue station and have to be accounted for while the crew would tell you if you did something wrong. There also used to be a video to show you how to put on life jackets and to tell you what to do in an emergency + there are big instructions on the inside of the cabin door.

Our ship also had a lecture who would offer presentations on the ports you went to or even on specific places that trips were planned to.

We also got offered a presentation for all the planned tours that are available for every port in case anyone hadn't booked something yet and wanted to do it last minute.

There are different types of cabines but most people will choose to one with a mirror or without one because you always have to ability to go to the outside/pool deck for sun and stuff. However if the sea is rough, all outside decks will be closed but you can still see from most upper decks that have shops or restaurants.

Every cruise line is different when it comes to what is included in the price but everyone has basic food and alcohol like wine/beer. Some restaurants used to be extra pay and on the ships I was on, so did most cocktails.

I think this is maybe only on German cruises but for us you got a board card which you not only needed to come back on the cruise but that would also be used as payment on the cruise itself. It was connected to the payment you selected for the cruise itself and you could always check how much there was on it at certain machines on the ship.

All the cruises I have been on have had at leady 800 passenger cabins so a minimum of 1600 people. In a big cruise like that you rarely hang out with people other than the ones you came on the trip with in the first place but sometimes at stuffed hours if you were only 2 people or so or still had seats available at your table some people would ask if they could sit with you if the restaurants are filled. And they would also be polite and nice, sometimes starting conversations. On my cruise there were specific hours every restaurant would be open, serving 3 meals a day and sometimes cake. But you can always get drinks like water, tea or coffee.

When it comes to anything law related there is always the important question of where because if it was on land, the rules of that country will apply and if it was on the sea, it depends on which territory you are in. There is also a ship jail most of the time until people can get detained at the next port.

If you have travel insurance (always do if you travel anywhere expensive or on a longer term), they will refund it when you are injured or cannot attend sometimes because of sickness etc. However boredom does not equal a refund and I assume neither might something like pregnancy which was a decision made by you. Also, travelling start being unsafe at around the 20th week mark and this ships policy requires you to leave either if you are in the 23rd or 24th week.

That's basically it but yeah, if you have any questions that I could answer, hit me with it

[ectogeo-rebubbles]

I’m going to be nice after that though and also send you Garashir, Kiradax and Quodo <3

Thanks for all the asks, this has been fun getting to rant about my ships! XD

(for this ask game)

Ship It - garashir, my beloved OTP <3

What made you ship it?

I mean when I watched Past Prologue for the first time, my friend and I were like yelling at the screen "haha NOW MAKE OUT!!!" whenever garashir would stand way too close together, and it was always clear to me that Garak was into Julian. But then when Julian gave Garak Delavian chocolates at the airlock in Improbable Cause I was like "oh... this is for real... they are in love for real..." and then it was all over for me hahhaha

2. What are your favorite things about the ship?

They genuinely enjoy spending time with each other and they love the things about each other that are off-putting to everyone else! They are the same and yet different and yet The Same, in SUCH interesting ways! They are uniquely suited to making each other better! Their gay little book club over lunch makes me feral! The Wire is a fairy tale romance where Julian's unconditional love for Garak literally saves him! They are just so unhinged about each other in such a beautiful way!!!! Ahhhhhh I love them <3 <3 <3

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

It's def baffling to me that there's a significant number of people who apparently think Garashir is inherently unhealthy as depicted in canon, and tbh I am not sure we watched the same show lol. Also, this is unrelated to previous sentence but I do think Julian KNOWS by The Wire at the latest that Garak is dtf (but, you know, keep writing stories where Julian's oblivious to Garak's attraction to him for longer than that, bc sometimes he's gotta be in order for the concept of the fic to make sense and that's fine lol! it's just not my reading of canon).

Ship It - quodo

What made you ship it?

The Ascent! The way they said "you know when I said I hated you? <3" "yeah <3" "well, i meant it <3" "so did i <3" or whatever just makes me sooooo crazy ^_^

2. What are your favorite things about the ship?

The chemistry they have is INSANE. Everything about their dynamic is insane tbh! Odo desperately wants to arrest Quark, but it's clearly just a sex thing for the two of them. Quark wants Odo gone so he can do his crimes more easily but whenever Odo leaves the station Quark says goodbye and interprets Odo's harrumphs and pointed indifference as love confessions. They begrudgingly respect each other, they want each other to suffer dearly, they can't stop thinking about each other for a single second, they hate each other more than anyone else, they can't live without each other. <3 Also! Quark made Odo blow on the dice! Odo drops by the bar every day to make sure Quark knows he's thinking about him!! Quark bounces his ass on any object he thinks might be Odo, unless he is instead licking it to see if it's Odo!!!! Ahhhh, I love everything about it!

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

Quodo is quintessential kismesissitude, to me. (Meaning, they are each other's most important person - or one of each other's most important people anyway - AND they are also bitter rivals who are obsessed with each other to a wild degree AND also they def fuck nasty.) Unpopular only because it is cringe to have read homestuck and it is especially cringe to then apply the shipping mechanics therein to other fandoms, lol. But I'm right, though, and it needs to be said <3

Don't Ship It - kiradax

Why don't you ship it?

First of all, this is a very ambivalent don't ship it. I truly don't hate it, it's just a little bit nebulous to me.

(the rest of my kiradax thoughts under the cut)

Like, I used to think I actively shipped it, but then I had to write kiradax for an exchange and it was soooo hard bc I just couldn't figure out their dynamic and there's not a lot to go on in the show (not enough for ME to go on, anyway... I am the kind of person who writes fanfic so that she doesn't need to come up with her own characters/settings/etc lol). It was harder for me to connect with it after that, like, the shippy feelings just aren't readily accessible.

2. What would have made you like it?

More canon interactions? Like, give me an entire Kiradax holosuite episode, not just a scene haha. Also maybe more focus in the fandom on the vast cultural differences between them, perhaps? Like, they had such different lives and I think they could learn a lot from each other. I feel like that could be a good source of chemistry and tension and healing and interesting relationship struggles to work through, but it isn't super explored in most of the fics I've read (I def have not read most kiradax fics though, am open to recs). Actually, thinking about my other ship responses, what I'd truly need in order to make them shipworthy for me is for them to just be absolutely obsessed with each other in a way that is kinda unhinged XD

3. Despite not shipping it, do you have anything positive to say about it?

Y'all def draw some amazing art that makes me want to ship it and makes me wish these characters got to hang out more in canon so I could wrap my mind around them! Because there is def the potential, like it's soooo close to being a ship I care about, I just lack the imagination to make it work in a way that's interesting to me. Anyway, I do absolutely love the canon kiradax holosuite dates (both the Hoobishan baths scene, and the medieval one that's only alluded to, in which Kira punched a hologram for trying to kiss her lol). Also, when they drink out of each other's glass in Dramatis Personae I do get all hot and bothered, so there's that

[ashmarie1687]

Thoughts in hindsight

There have been many occasions since all the Belfast promo and seeing the movie that certain thoughts have invaded but I never bother to air them because there was nothing too substantial to bring up, IMO. But as time goes on and more articles and interviews are done, some of these thoughts become repetitive and I can’t help but take time to air some.

First, I really did enjoy Belfast. I look forward to seeing it again. One thing that surprised me was lack of air time Jamie got in the movie. Based on all promo you’d think the was in the most of the time. He wasn’t. Cait was and Ciarán was. I felt Cait and Jamie had chemistry but it wasn’t fully on display in the movie. Later I realized: what lacked in the movie made up in their interviews together. They had a genuine good time with each other and had fun banter. And THEN I realized…this is brother/sister banter. This is the kind of on screen/off screen relationship banter that I would interpret as sibling-like. I didn’t get the vibe that I would want to ship them. They joked around in interviews, got through their awkward moments as two costars should. Unlike another one of Cait’s costars, where the vibe screams “more than costars”. We saw Jamie and Cait on the red carpet with appropriate room for Jesus. “But Jamie is married, and so is Cait.” Well duh. But how many red carpets have there been with Cait and Sam crotch to crotch? “But Cait has a Significant Other.” Does she? Or does she, and that’s who she is crotch to crotch with. Secondly, Jamie mentioned on a few occasions that he and Cait didn’t have the opportunity to dine together that would normally happen between a group of costars during filming. I don’t know if it was lack of time, covid, etc. I don’t recall Jamie specifying but anyone can correct me. As it’s been said, the movie began filming in September. But on this clapper, the date is 26/08/20.

Less than a month later, September 19, 2020, we got the trio pic in Soho London.

Many of the Belfast cast interviews have said they filmed around Surry, which is about an hour from Soho. Seeing their photo in Soho plus seeing Cait and Sam in the same trailer unmasked during covid has me thinking many thoughts, especially when she couldn’t even go out to dinner with her costars from the movie. This brings me to my final point, one that I know is getting beaten to death but…having a quote from Sam about her movie and Jamie wasn’t quoted is actually more baffling than the bedsheet. Why couldn’t Jamie be quoted? They were doing promo together at the time of this interview. I don’t get it. To want to separate yourself from your costar yet Cait always brings him up or the interviewer brings him up. I’d almost guarantee the next film Cait does, she won’t be asked about Jamie, she will be asked about Sam. (I feel like I went on a tangent but I hope this made sense as I’ve been thinking about some of this for awhile and the VF article finally made me say it).

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

I might be back on my bullshit thinking about Louis [as if I ever stopped] and episode 2 again. Like... there are a lot of things that could’ve been handled better when it comes to ep2, but can we just appreciate his apology to Clementine during the archery scene? 

[note: this turned into a bit of a rant, and for that, I apologize]

It still baffles me that he gets dismissed as a shitbird by portions of the fandom to this day for being upset with Clem and AJ when he just found out his best friend gave away the twins, murdered Brody and tried to pin it on Clementine to cover his tracks... only to then be murdered by AJ after he already gave up, shot him in the back of the head right in front of everyone and left Louis heartbroken and traumatized. 

Like I understand that some of y’all think Clementine and AJ should never be held accountable for anything they do and they’re always right, even when they’re in the wrong because you’re the player projecting yourself onto them and everyone who is mean to you is a stupid head unless they’re mean in the right way.

Or you’re one of those violentine stans who feels like the only way to validate your ship is to create this narrative that Louis is a traitor and Clementine would never love him after he voted for them to leave as if the only way you know how to make Violet look good is to make Louis bad by comparison instead of like... y’know, being one of the decent stans who explain and gush about the positives of the ship itself and why they love it rather obsessing over the other ship. 

Either way, you’re really gonna look at that situation of Louis reacting to his best friend’s death after what just went down and be like “calm down, Louis, you’re being a jerk :/” like.... I’m sorry? 

Aren’t you the same people who complained about Luke not giving a shit about Nick’s death back in s2? how he didn’t have a reaction? In fact, aren’t you also the same people who vigorously defended Kenny for his reaction to Sarita’s death after he lashed out at Clementine? Remember? When he yelled at her and called her a stupid fucking kid who thinks she can just get anyone killed and it’s okay because she said sorry? but it’s fine because Kenny’s reacting in a realistic way that makes sense for his character and he later apologizes for it? 

but now here you are, getting a realistic reaction out of Louis that makes sense with his character and all of a sudden, you don’t like it? You want him to just be like “Oh no, Marlon.... anyway.” Really?

Louis is hurt, he’s pissed and he doesn’t know what to do. He’s so shaken by what the hell just happened, Marlon’s dead body is bleeding out on the ground, Ruby’s talking about getting fucking medicine as if that’s gonna do anything, Violet waving her cleaver around at them even though literally none of them were looking at AJ they were all looking at Clementine, Violet you are not helping anyone in this situation, you’re only making it worse and adding to the aggression... but no, Louis shouldn’t be a fucking mess right now. He should just shrug his shoulders and be like “Welp, this is fine.” 

Then there’s the damn funeral. Look, Clementine and AJ shouldn’t have been there. I know they had to be for story purposes, but it’s such a bad idea that it makes Violet, the one who wanted them there, look like an ass who has no regard for anyone other than herself, Clementine and AJ, and those who agree with her... which is only Tenn and I guess everyone else sucks and their feelings are invalid because no one else wanted them there since it’s not a good idea to have Marlon’s murderer attend his funeral and if you believe that isn’t going to piss people off or make them uncomfortable, then either you don’t care or you don’t know how to read a room. 

And by the way, Louis wasn’t the one who suggested voting them out. He wasn’t even there when MITCH said they should take a vote and everyone agreed to it. So why is it that Louis gets all this blame for how the vote turned out? Oh, Louis is such a traitor because he’s the reason they got kicked out.... except no? 

First of all, if you’re so mad at Louis then how come you’re not mad at Ruby? She voted them out, too. So did Omar. They contributed to kicking them out. How come no one else talks about how much they hate them after they said having the vote was a fair idea and then voted them out? Oh, and Willy, too. Willy voted them out. The only other person who gets heat for the vote is Mitch, and he was the one who came up with the idea in the first place... but no one else, huh? 

Also, how come only Violet gets praise for wanting Clementine and AJ to stay? Never see anyone talk about how amazing Aasim is after he was the third vote for them. He has legit reasons for wanting them around, too, but he didn’t want them at the funeral either so what, does that cancel out his vote for you? Where is the Aasim love? 

Then we got the dorms where Louis and Violet come to escort them away, and once again, I have to mention that both of them are wrong in this situation. They’re on the extreme opposites where Violet thinks they should stay because they didn’t do anything wrong, and Louis thinks they should leave because AJ’s dangerous. Both of these view points make sense with their characters.

However, I guess some conveniently ignore how conflicted Louis is about the whole thing and how he’s feeling about it because it doesn’t fit with the narrative they’re trying to push about his character. 

Again, he’s dealing with a lot of shit right now only to be constantly invalidated by Violet, who keeps telling him what a shithead he is for hurting about this, how he’s just burying his head in the sand again and all this other shit, and he eventually snaps at her and says AJ’s dangerous, which hurts AJ and it’s all over Louis’ face that he realizes he snapped and he feels bad about it. 

But Louis never got aggressive with them, he never laid a hand on them, and he was there to escort them out in the woods. And that argument of “he sent them out there to die therefore Clementine and AJ should hate him, Clem shouldn’t want any friendly/romantic relationship with him because he put AJ at risk and got him shot” is.... I dunno, ugh? It’s ugh. You act like Louis did this to intentionally get them hurt when that’s not true. 

Clementine and AJ have survived on their own for years, so it makes sense that Louis would try to justify this to himself like “they’ll make it out there, they’ll survive because they’ve done this before... this is for the best for everyone” and no, him telling them that this is probably like going home for them isn’t okay, but it makes sense for his character because he doesn’t actually know how bad it is out there. 

None of them know, they’ve all lived in walls their whole lives. It’s naïve of him, yes, but it makes sense and he didn’t do this with shitty intentions of wanting them to get hurt. He didn’t know that Lilly and Abel would be out there, he didn’t know AJ would get shot, he didn’t know any of it. He didn’t think that if they voted them out, this would happen. He was struggling with his feelings about them and saying goodbye to someone he was starting to feel a connection with. 

And he let them back in. Hell, he carried AJ into the school himself when they showed up wounded and you still wanna call him an asshole and a traitor? He could’ve said nope, get the hell out. We kicked you out, you’re not welcome here. 

He didn’t do that, he ran to them to see if they’re okay, he brought AJ to Ruby and stayed with him the entire time Clem was in the office with Violet.... AND he apologized to AJ, quietly begging for him to be okay... and when he’s faced with Clementine after what happened, he doesn’t know what to say to her. He can’t even look at her because he feels so ashamed of himself and feels all the blame for this. 

This is a moment that ties back to backstory. Louis’ emotions overpowered him, he made a decision and now AJ is shot and bleeding on the couch.... when he came to the school, they [the staff, I assume] said these kids were bad people, they told Louis that he was bad after what he did to his parents and he internalized that, and this whole this just reaffirms that idea “I am bad, I hurt people, this is my fault.” He blames himself for everything even though there’s no way he could’ve known. You can feel Louis’ genuine concern for AJ and how he’s doing, but at the same time, he’s trying to distance himself from Clementine… and well, sorta failing since he brings her clothes and they have the conversation in the dorms. 

Then the archery scene.... y’know, the scene I was gonna make a simple little post about that somehow turned into this. 

Once again we have Louis and Violet arguing because that’s what they do now, and Violet continues to tell him to get over himself without listening to anything he says, and he goes to practice archery so that y’know... when the raiders come he can use a weapon to help defend them since he’s not very good with it and needs practice.

Clem goes to check on him, and Louis apologizes for voting them out, explains that when AJ shot Marlon, he blamed Clementine when that wasn’t the right thing to do. He had a lot going on emotionally on top of what was happening around him, but after having two weeks to work through things alone, even though he’ll never be happy Marlon died, he can understand why AJ thought it was the right thing to do... and if he could take everything back, he would. He knew that the moment they came back, and he still does. 

I just.... how often does Clementine ever get an actual apology from anyone who has hurt her? A real apology from someone who means it and then doesn’t just turn around and repeat the same hurtful actions? Like... it baffles me that people will look at this genuine apology and tell him to fuck off, but will accept and continue to adore someone like Kenny who will apologize for hurting Clem, only to never try to be better and ends up hurting her even more next time. 

Or they’ll accept and justify Violet’s last minute apology for punching Clementine in the face on the boat and putting everyone [including AJ, rememeber?] at risk of either dying or being made into brainwashed soldiers by the delta. 

They both have reasons for their behaviors and you’ll work your ass off to justify them, and I’m not saying your points are wrong or invalid, but you seriously won’t even try to extend that same thing to Louis? Why? 

Well, jokes on you because I too will work my ass of to talk about Louis and what he’s going through and that’s how posts like this get made. I know not everyone is going to feel that connection to him that I have, and you’re allowed to not like him as a character, but realize that I’m also allowed to give my perspective on his character and why I disagree with points posed by those who don’t like him. 

The archery scene is one of my favorites. It’s Louis and Clementine proving that they’re able to open up to one another and say they’re sorry, to forgive the other without being petty or holding it over the other to throw back at them the next time they argue. It proves that Louis wants to put in the effort to repair their relationship and atone for the mistakes he made, to step up and not be “bad” anymore. 

I mean, Louis says it best himself. Everyone heard the jokes and the piano, after that, they stop listening... a lot of people just boil him down to a funny man who never takes anything seriously and the only thing he could ever bring to Clementine’s life is a good laugh, but those who stuck with him and put an effort into building his and Clementine’s relationship know better than that. They know how much this apology in ep2 means even with the downer that the timeline of events rushes everything a bit. 

The fact that Louis doesn’t have this big ego that prevents him from apologizes, that he can forgive AJ for what he did and still build a strong relationship with both him and Clementine, that if you earn his trust he will follow you to hell and back, that he isn’t afraid to call Clementine out on her bullshit and doesn’t have a come apart when she does the same to him, that with her and AJ by his side he finally doesn’t feel alone anymore.... it’s all just so fucking good. 

I dunno, maybe you can understand why I get so ugh whenever I still see these same arguments about him being made with this double standard that doesn’t apply to other characters.

[well-its-not-human-anymore]

Touch starved/ hurt reader - hcs or scenarios the turtles? Reader super cool regarding friendship, like funny and open etc etc, but if someone tries to do anything that implies a bit more regarding romantic stuff they are kinda like oop- no. Reader is kinda jumpy and just freezes when someone’s they like does any kind of affection ( blushes a lot, try to run away and avoid those situations) people have taken them for granted which has make them a bit cold and defensive in that area- they want to be more affectionate ( which they know deep down it’s what they crave) but it’s kinda they are a scared / angry cat? Please, hope this makes sense, thank you

( also regarding looks and gender I think you can go with they/them so everyone can see a look but if themselfs in the scenario, and if you are going to any kind of skin ship, make the reader extremely defensive over their arms and tummy pls, I do love hugs but if anyone touches my hips I’ll try to get away so fast omg sbbtjfjdkdksn and I will just close off momentarily, I absolutely hate it, I’m more on the heavy side ( talk and chubby ) and if anyone’s touches the “giggly” parts I get extremely upset ( because of how ppl havemade fun of it over the years) and I think the boys would be very “??? What?” To that reaction cuz they didn’t think it was some thing bad to have? ( like a more soft and chunky/chubby body) because they haven’t been exposed long enough to society’s judgment or beauty standards ( I mean they know about! The ones who would have read more about it maybe it’s Leo and Donnie, but what I mean maybe they have never experienced something like this - themselfs irl) Eitherway this ask is already so long omg I’m sorry and thank you, if it’s too much you don’t have to do it, have a good night/ day!)

Okay first of all I love you and I would die for you. You are a perfect human being and there is literally no one else like you. Your body does a damn good job of keeping all of your organs in place and that's what matters. If anyone tells you different you rock their absolute shit.

And don't worry, I understood the request perfectly so no worries on that, I've got a similar body type except I'm really short. But I'm also super defensive over being touched or having those parts of my body perceived, so trust me when I say you're not alone. We be vibing with this together.

Now to the writing!

TMNT Headcanons

Boys reacting to a touch starved/defensive reader

Michaelangelo

Look man, our boy here is body positivity central, he thinks you look amazing and he wants everyone to know it

As far as you two go he's your best friend, your homie, your main man

So of course he's gonna wanna show you off, why wouldn't he?

He doesn't think you'd have a reason to not be okay with it, you've always been playful with him and his brothers

So obviously there's some widespread confusion once Casey gets tossed into the mix

All Mikey had done was reach behind him and snag you by the waist to pull you over

That was all

The words "and this is my best friend, y/n" never got the chance to leave his mouth

He was definitely not expecting you to squeak out in protest and scramble away from him as fast as humanly possible

Your face was burning red and you were clutching your sides, desperately trying not to bare your teeth in defence

Mikey couldn't help but feel heartbroken

Was there something wrong with him?

You sent Casey an unenthusiastic wave before turning on your heel and basically running out

Leaving a very confused orange turtle behind you

When he finally managed to catch up to you later you rushed to explain why you'd reacted the way you did

You couldn't stand his expression when you explained that no- you didn't think he was disgusting and no, he hadn't done anything wrong.

But he did seem baffled at you telling him that it was because you hated being touched there.

"Look Mikey, I've got no problem with the whole contact thing but you gotta give me a warning or something before you go around grabbing me. Okay?"

He was 100% fine with that

Anything to make you comfortable

But you both got to the point of being able to laugh at your reaction to the turtle trying to hold your hand

"Seriously Michaelangelo, I have a reputation to maintain. How am I supposed to do that when you're giving me feelings?"

Donatello

It completely baffled him

By all accounts it didn't make sense

You threw around compliments like you were playing hot potato and for whatever reason you'd always find someway to playfully flirt with him

But the second one of his brothers suggested something other than the innocent friendship the two of you had you would shut down completely

And coincidentally those types of comments were made at the most inconvenient times

Nothing screamed awkward more than you going stone cold and standoffish over a piece of pie

Bubbly and excited one moment, tossing around those positive affirmations to your favorite people

And staring murderously at an inanimate object the next

You were like an unsolvable rubix cube to him

But he was determined to figure you out

"Y/N?"

You didn't appear to be busy, just sitting on the haphazard bunk in your makeshift area with a book in your lap

The others had gone out on patrol and you weren't sure where Splinter was at that particular moment which left you and Donnie holding down the lair until they got back

The perfect time to approach the subject

"Hey y/n? Can I ask you something?"

His voice always got a little louder when you were alone, less afraid of being overheard. You looked up with a smile

"Fire away Dove."

His cheeks flushed in surprise

"uhhhhh... whydoyounotlikeme?"

You set your book down and leaned forward to stare at him

"Elaborate."

And he did, god he did, he did it at the speed of sound of course, but you caught every word

let me tell you, this boys heart broke for you when you told him that you did like him

you really really did

but the thought of being romantically involved with anyone made you shut down

Donnie assured you that it was fine

he'd wait for you as long as you needed

Raphael

Look, Raph knows a thing or two about being self conscious

out of all of his brothers he's the one who worries about his appearance the most

but you- holy shit he thinks you're the most amazing, perfect human in the world

so when he finds out that you hate being touched and that thinking about relationships makes your skin crawl he doesn't know whether to genuinely cry for you or punch someone in the mouth

both is okay

You'd always been very bold with your words and sometimes you'd even joke that you couldn't even tell when you were flirting with him

it just slipped out

and hearing that even though you could pull that off as easy as breathing and compliment all of them endlessly but you struggled to be comfortable in your own body?

that was a lot to unpack in one sitting

but the longer he sat with you and listened to you talk him through it the more he understood

sure, it was horrible

and he wouldn't likely stop thinking about hurting the people who'd done this to you (there'd be too many to count)

but you had a way of making him understand things

it was his favorite thing about you

"Uh- you know y/n, I uh- personally I think you look great. Like- all the time."

plz insert awkward finger guns here

there, your playful smirk was back and you were wiggling your eyebrows at him

"Awhhhh... is that Raph I see having feelings?"

Leonardo

he'd done enough listening and reading to know how society treated people who it thought was different

and he hated that you'd had to experience that for most of your life

when it came down to it and he saw that you had become particularly hard on yourself he took it upon himself to check in with you

that's how you'd started meditating with him

and you'd found it quite relaxing if you were completely honest

Leo told you that meditation was the best way to connect with your body and understand it

you hoped that in time you would understand what he meant by that

but the positive affirmations were doing something, so you'd take it

he'd always encourage you when you couldn't yourself

and always jump to your defense when the others got a little to out of bounds with their words

you still would noticeably flinch when touched without warning

they were all working with that

and he still found himself saddened that you'd recoil back into your protective walls if anyone mentioned anything inherently romantic

but you were coming around

and he was endlessly proud of you for that

Alright I hope I was able to get down what you were thinking. This one definitely took the most contemplating out of any of the requests I've gotten so I hope you like it!

[delu-jean]

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐄𝐥𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧: 𝐒𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐮𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

(Jean x fem!/reader) -> Angst -> 4.7k 

Notes: Sorry for updating a lot later than expected! Here’s chapter eleven, and twelve will be out as soon as I write it. Hope you enjoy! 

Ⅹ > Ⅻ

During the night, you had no dreams or nightmares. It was simply peaceful, calming, and warm. Having him beside you (though he was on the floor) gave you the utmost comfort. He was really here with you, resting to the side, while you did the same. Such a feeling that was yearned for, had finally found its way back to you. The first night in what seemed like forever where you actually slept through calmly. 

You woke up the next day to see the sun peer in. Through the crack of your blinds, highlighting the walls of your cozy room. The birds, though silent, remained present as the wind rustled quietly. Jean lay on the floor. His hand still clung onto yours from the night before. His grip felt secure and gentle when holding yours. His hair laced over the pillows, as his body was barely covered by the sheets. Only now did you realize how much of a mover he was. Though that was the case, he still miraculously held you through the night. Without causing any discomfort whatsoever. 

You wanted to sit in this moment for a tad longer, but knew you would have to ready you both for the day ahead. You tried to slip out of his hand, but to your failed attempt, he gripped even tighter. He really wasn’t going to make this easy. You tried yet again, using your other hand to assist. Regardless, his one hand and few fingers kept you grounded. You thought that was the end of things, but he then pulled you in. Locking you in a tight embrace. You shook your head, both flustered and disappointed. You needed to get away from him, yet here he was, keeping you captive. 

“Jean...Jean I need to get up-” 

“Not again...no...never,” he mumbled. 

It seemed as if he was sleep talking. If he was conscious, he probably would’ve laughed at you by now. You were sad to hear such words. He had gone through so much trauma to the point he couldn’t let go of you. 

“I’m not leaving...not yet at least...so Jean, don’t worry and please let me go,” you cupped his cheek as it sank into your touch. His head now leaning towards you, and his face at a closer range. Smiling at the reaction, you then heard a knock coming from outside. 

“Hm...I have to go now,” he seemed less tense than earlier. It must’ve been because of your words since he actually let you go. You got up, put yourself in a cardigan, and quickly tied your hair. Maybe this time it was actually Reiner, for goodness sake you would now need to leave a candle there. Just in case next time, it’s a crazy psycho and not Jean. 

You opened the door, ready to attack if it was anyone threatening. Though hesitant, you let your guard down, opening the door even wider. 

“Ah Y/n! Long time no see,” you stared at the woman, flowers in one hand, while treats in the other. 

“Alexandra, what are you doing here?” you smiled shocked. 

Alexandra was also a person from the military. An Eldian soldier who commanded her own squad. Though your rank was a tad higher than her’s, she was never too far from you. You both conversed here and there. Though you weren’t as close to her as you were with the warrior unit, you were both mutually acquainted. Enjoying each other’s company from time to time. 

“I just came to drop by. If you’re busy, I can come sometime later today,” you didn’t want to be rude and reject her. Even though Jean was over, you assumed that if he had heard someone else (other than you) in the house, that he would keep quiet. 

“No no no, I insist. Come in, I’m free,” you led her inside for her to then place the gifts on the table. Now that you thought about it, this was the second time she had been to your house. That being said, you were surprised she still had this place memorized. Not only that, but you were surprised she had come out of the blue. Did she have something important to share, what drove her to come? 

“Curious are we?” she laughed as your eyes widened, embarrassed. 

“Of course not-” 

“Haha, you’re not a very good liar Y/n~” 

“I guess you’re right about that,” you grinned as you started to prepare tea. She was just such a lady, and plus, tea complimented any situation. So why not make some now? 

“Hm lovely. Earl Grey if I’m correct?” 

“Haha, yes you are,” you then placed a cup down. Pouring the tea as she patiently waited. Crossing her legs and setting the treats she brought across the table. 

“I’m sorry I’ve come so early in the morning, it’s just that my squad is going to be shipped out sometime tomorrow...so I wanted to say my goodbyes before then.” 

“What do you mean? I know you’ll come back,” you smiled as she followed hesitantly.  

“Yeah...of course I will,” you then set the teapot down, as she took a sip.  

“Hey so...I heard that someone might be getting married,” you start to drink your tea, eyeing her suspiciously. 

“Who?” 

“Who else but you,” you choked on the beverage, wondering as to how she would know such a thing. You then tried to play things cool, hoping the subject would slowly avert. 

“I’m still not understanding?-”

“You and Reiner silly. It’s been going around everywhere...didn’t you know?” 

“No...I...I didn’t know that others knew?...” 

“Ahh I see. Well, from what I know, the town seems content with such a proposal. The ladies have been talking about what kind of future you both might have, even with the limited time. Not only that, but Reiner’s mother seems ecstatic with both the arrangements, and attention being given,” you then bite down on your tongue. Never would you have thought things would escalate so quickly. Rumors that weren’t even confirmed, yet spread like wildfire. She then placed her cup down, grabbing one of the deserts to munch, and then covered her mouth. She spoke, trying to keep her manners while also enjoying the treat. 

“So, have you prepared a wedding dress, did he give you a ring yet, or are you both going to wait for the day of?” 

“No...I haven’t been given a ring, nor have I gotten anything.” 

“Wait, really?” 

“Yeah…” 

“Hm...well okay. Let me ask you a different question.” 

“Of course, whenever you’re ready,” she then finished, and took a sip. Eyeing you as you sat uncomfortable, not sure what her next approach would be. 

“You do like him, don’t you?” 

“Um...well...I...I would say-” 

“You know, I’ve always thought the both of you were...how do I say it, cute. Very cute actually.” 

“I’m sorry, what?” you laughed a little, thinking she was being sarcastic. Whereas she was being quite serious. 

“You two have always seemed so close. You both respect each other, take the time to have one on ones, you also put in the effort to see each other’s families, and just...so much more. You’ve always seemed like a couple, or, couple goals to say the least. Not only that, but you seem to genuinely care for each other. You give words of affirmation, and he gives you acts of genuine affection.” 

“How would you know such a thing?” your brow cocked as she sighed. 

“My dear, it’s called observation. Speaking of observing, you can’t deny that Reiner is very attractive.” 

“I-” 

“I mean, he’s a total catch. He’s a very good looking gentleman. One that actually takes care of his hygiene. He’s presentable most of the time, and treats you like the lady you are. Giving you the respect which you deserve. Very attractive in my opinion. Chivalrous, yet understanding of a lady’s worth.” 

“I agree with that,” though your feelings for Reiner were platonic, what she stated was...somewhat true. Just disclude the whole “wanting to kill you,” along with the “using you as a way to cope,” and vice versa. 

“So you do like him?” she asked as you sat there, not sure about what your response would be. 

“Well…” a question then sprung in your head. You put your cup down, to then eye her yourself as she locked her gaze. Awaiting for whatever your answer would be. 

“Alexandra what if...what if there was someone else?” 

“Someone better looking than Reiner?” 

“I...I guess so,” you chuckled as she stared at you in shock. 

“No way...did you get with Porco? Wow...you surprise me the more I get to know you-” 

“Wait a minute, you think Porco is more charming than Reiner?” You cut her midway through, baffled to say the least. Now you were the person in shock as she smiled cockishly. Proud of such a statement. 

“Well...yes...yes I do,” she said shamelessly as you now laughed. 

“Wait, but why? I’m genuinely curious,” you said, obviously having a different opinion. 

“First of all, his undercut is both sharp and clean. Not only that, but the dirty blonde really suits him. His build is nice, along with the fashion he portrays. Though not too out of the ordinary, you can tell he puts in the effort to look his best.  

The energy he gives off is adventurous, dark, and mysterious, you know? But at the same time, he also seems like a gentleman. One who’s misunderstood, yet has a soft interior. His eyes seem to hide an excruciating pain, yet his smile is one full of brightness, and laughter,” you were surprised about how philosophical, and passionate she was when describing Porco...Porco of all people. No offense to him, but you would never see him in such light. 

Regardless, she seemed proud to say such a statement, as she then asked you: 

“And you? Just what about Reiner intrigues you? I understand for some reasons, but more than Porco?” you nodded to then state: 

“I can’t guarantee my description will be a full fledged english essay. But oh well, here it goes,” she listened intrigued, ready to hear your rebuttal. 

“Well, he does have a beard. Though Zeke’s is fuller, Reiner’s compliments his face structure. He has a very um...broad build, the blonde suits him well, and over all, is a very sweet person. Compared to Porco, I would say he has a much more timid nature. Don’t get me wrong, he can speak his mind, but is a little more sensitive when doing so. That being the case, I feel as if he’s more relatable. Though, I may be saying this because I’ve known him for longer, outside of Marely of course, I just think he’s the better option-” 

  “The better option, so he is an option. Meaning that you feel attracted to him. Leading to the conclusion that you like him,” she grinned maliciously as you panicked. 

“Um well...I wouldn’t say that…” 

“Interesting...but my point still stands haha. If you ever need someone to help you prepare for the occasion...if I come back...I’ll be sure to aid you.” 

“Of course,” she then stood up, placing the flowers in a vase. Grabbing her bag, her coat, her hat, standing before you. 

“But before I go, just who is this other person?...Are you really seeing someone?” 

“I…” you weren’t sure what to say to her, as the hesitation rang in your voice.

“No...I just wanted to know what your thoughts would be,”  You know you should have told her yes, but you just couldn’t. You didn’t want to add any more fuel to the fire, and if you couldn’t even tell the warriors, telling someone else shouldn’t have been an option. 

“I see, well...farewell Y/n. Let us meet again, and if not here...somewhere else…” 

“Yes, of course,” you smiled happily as the door then shut. 

You were glad that one, she came to visit you, and two, that things were now over. You sat in your seat, stretching out your arms to hear another knock. Except this time, it was coming from behind you. Your head then flung backwards, your smile growing even wider as your chair tilted. 

“Good morning handsome~” 

“Good morning beautiful, how are you?” 

“Greater than ever, how about you? Did you sleep well?” 

“Magnificent. Also yeah, I did sleep well...surprisingly,” you both laughed a little, as you then got up, placing breakfast for the both of you. Though a little full from the meeting before, you still wanted to enjoy a meal with Jean. After all, it had been so long since the last time you did. And plus, that was during your time as a cadet. You weren’t able to enjoy such a feast in the morning. 

You both ate in silence. Both of you trying to enjoy the food, and each other’s company. Letting the peace around settle in. Once you had finished both eating, and cleaning up after yourselves, you then decided to speak, asking: 

“Did you hear the conversation I had earlier? I’m assuming you probably woke up because of it,” you didn’t ask how much he heard. You instead wanted to see how much he did hear from the man himself. He put the cloth he was holding down. Similar to you, he wanted to see if you’d tell him anything from the conversation. So he asked: 

“Was there anything important I should be informed about regarding it?” 

“No…” you lied guiltily, but you didn’t know how to handle it otherwise. He then decided to hint you with what he knew, by saying: 

“Hm...Is Reiner really your type? Do I have to buff it up, go blonde, and grow a stache?” he then touched his face as you laughed. Both out of silliness, and nervousness. You felt worried knowing he heard that much of your conversation. Meaning, he knew you hadn’t denied Alexandra even once. 

“Haha no! I love you just the way you areeee!” 

He then looked at the ground, leading him to stand up. 

“If that’s the case,” he leaned against the wall, staring at you intensely. 

“No? Y/n, why did you say no?” you sighed in defeat, seeing that he most definitely was on your tail. 

“I can’t tell her I’m dating a ‘devil’ from Paradis,” you said, trying to make an excuse. 

“You wouldn’t have needed to tell her that...just saying yes should’ve been a good enough answer. You didn’t have to say no.”

“I know…”

“Then why did you?..” 

“I just...I’m not even sure myself-” 

“About this...us?...” he stopped himself while clenching his fist. Though he was annoyed, he didn’t want to push that onto you. He knew you cared about your relationship, and plus, it sounded petty for him to say.  

“Never mind...it’s not a big deal.” 

“I see…” you agreed, still feeling guilty as he then asked: 

“You’re not planning on marrying him...right?” 

“Hm,” you think to yourself. Though your mind had run blank, he certainly did not as it ran with rage. Seeing you hesitate when the answer should have been obvious. He just couldn’t handle it, along with his sense of inferiority. Though he had matured, there were still times where acted otherwise. This being one of them. 

“I can’t believe you didn’t say no, almost immediately-” 

“You know I won’t Jean…” 

“Then why didn’t you tell off your friend? You didn’t deny the proposal, or  your affection for him.”

Jean wasn’t jealous, rather, frustrated. Frustrated that you weren’t using your words (yet again), nor telling him any of your thoughts. It's like watching a movie with no audio, he wasn’t able to understand your actions even when seeing them. Without any coordination, communication would never reach his side of the spectrum. 

He scrunched his eyebrows, and pinched the bridge between them. Though that was the case, he was trying to be patient with you. After all, this was something new and he didn’t want you to feel pressured. Nor did he want you to feel like it was completely your fault. Even if it was, he wouldn’t have known unless you told him so. 

“Look Y/n...I really don’t want to fight, especially over something like this. But in order for me to understand things, even if it does hurt my feelings, I need to understand your thought process. That way, I’m able to clear up any misunderstandings. You tend to keep your mouth shut, and that’s not something that we need as of right now. You know how I feel, now it’s your turn,” you were still hesitant, feeling pressured as he approached you. He looked into your eyes. His stare was desperate, yet understanding. Patting your head as you gazed upwards. 

“I’m sorry for acting like that...but you know...your actions do hurt me, especially when I don’t know where you’re coming from. So can you please...try to explain?” he pouted as you sighed, ready to convey how you felt. He seemed excited seeing that you were somewhat ready, feeling like a proud father...which was something he didn’t feel often (having both Connie and Sasha). It was a weird metaphor, but the only one which could describe the moment. 

“I wasn’t sure if I should tell her. Although I do trust her, it could get out. You never know. Plus, I didn’t want to deny the proposal yet. I still need to talk things out with Reiner, and his mother” he seemed a bit disappointed, leading you to then hug him.  

“But I can promise you, it’s something that won’t happen. I love you, and you alone,” he then wrapped his arms around, returning the favour. Him hovering over your top half, as you hugged his torso, still in your seat. 

“I see...thanks for that but...I think I’ll still go blonde-”

“NO! I like your brown hair, it’s cute!” 

“Cute eh? I guess I’ll keep it then,” Him then smirking at the ego boost, as you sat flushed. 

“I love your hair as well.” 

---

After breakfast, you both decided to make plans. Heading out for a walk in the park, wanting to spend more time together. If anything, you could conclude it as being a date. You went out for lunch, and strolled together while conversing. Though walking was a great thing, so was sitting. That being the case, you both sat on a bench. Hands intertwined, feet swinging, and him calmly humming. Moments had passed in such comfort for him to ask: 

“What’s happened in your life? Well, other than becoming part of the military, and all of the boring stuff.” 

“Nothing much, how about you? What’s been happening in yours?”

“Ah...I can’t say too much about that,” he nervously said, as you backed off, understanding it wasn’t something to be said aloud. You both then sat awkwardly, only for you to ask something that you had been curious about. 

“If you don’t mind me asking, what happened? After I left...the truth if possible,” you knew Jean was a truthful person, you trusted him, but you also knew he would sugar coat things to make you feel better. That being the case, you wanted honesty. No matter what. Afterall, you deserved to hear such criticism if needed. It was the least you could do to attone. 

“I guess I’ll start off lightly. Um...we did find the cellar, the one which Eren’s father resided in. We also took back Shiganshina, though now mainly used for military purposes...I think. Not only that, but your horse has been doing fine.” 

“Violet? How about Buchwald?” 

“Yeah, him too. They’re pretty good friends in my opinion,” he looked at you to see that you weren’t content. It seemed as if you wanted to know more, rather than being shielded by the lightness in his words. Since you could make your own decisions, so could he. Deciding that he would tell you instead of keeping you from things. Things that you honestly...deserved to know. 

“After you died...I barely slept. I couldn’t eat, train, or even walk for that matter. I was pretty malnourished during that time, refusing to have a meal. I did that feeling guilty that you couldn’t have it with me. You passed and yet I still lived?...it didn’t seem fair no matter what was said. I was pretty grumpy as well. Angry, sad, and confused. Not knowing what to do. 

When Marco died, instead of mourning, I instead used it as a way to motivate me. To push myself even further for humanity, so that his death wouldn’t go in vain. But with your death...I couldn’t even. It was too painful to even bring up. Thinking of it as my motivation, seemed both coward like, and sickening. 

Everyone else was pretty moody as well. Not sure how to approach such rogue behaviour from me, nor how to accept your death. Even though I made the biggest ordeal, they still mourned. However, even though that was the case, what matters is that you’re alive now. We’ve also talked things through, and now I’m here...with you,” he grasped your hand, smiling softly. The guilt that now built in your stomach, remind you of the pain you put him through. Not only that, but the anguish which held him captive for so many years. Though you put him in such a position...he was still willing to forgive you? 

You stared at him. His eyes broken, yet also...in the process of healing. Although you couldn’t change the past, maybe you could alter the present, concluding in a better future for you both. You smiled as his thumb caressed your knuckles, loving the warmth. You sat there for a second, to then ask: 

“Tell me...is Berthold alive?...in Paradis?” he then stopped, as he looked at the ground. You understood the answer, based on the actions given. 

“How did he die?” 

“Armin...ate him-”

“What? That’s only possible if-”

“We had spinal fluid? I know,” you sat there spooked. Just now finding out Paradis had such information, climbing up the latter as you spoke. They’d probably catch up to your wits eventually. Though that was the case, and you could have worried even more, you decided against it. Knowing this wasn’t the time to. 

Instead, you decided to focus on Bertholdt. He was really gone...though you assumed it would have been better than being held captive, it still hurt. He must have felt so much pain going through that. Not only did he get eaten, but he was alone. None of you were there to help, nor witness such a sight. It saddened you as your eyes teared. The sweetest person, the only person who didn’t want to fight, was finally taken out of it in such a brutal way. 

Jean saw the distress that struck across you, as he then wiped your tears. Trying to console you the best way he could. He knew what it felt like to lose a friend, heck he even thought he lost you. It was a process that hurt a lot...but one that would come to pass.

“What about everyone else?...”

“Hm...everyone is fine...especially Sasha and Connie. Those two are still as lively as ever,” he smiled as you followed suit. 

“I’m glad they’re still the hooligans they were.” 

“Yeah…me too.” 

“How did you get here?...and why are you here?” you asked, genuinely wanting to know. 

“Shh...it’s a secret,” he joked, obviously trying to avoid the question. After he answered, you could feel the tension in the air. One not wanting to tell the other everything just yet. You both trusted each other...yet felt as if your intentions...were something to keep behind closed doors…. For now at least. 

Jean then sighed, gripping onto your hand even tighter. He, along with you, tried breaking the ice. Him with his actions, and you with your words. Though it felt a little awkward, you still wanted to carry out your conversation. 

“You know, even though I tried pushing things aside...after leaving...I could never get over the departure. Separating from you, our comrades, and the place that made me feel...happy...normal...and well...loved,” grinning he then draped his arm over you. Your hand then grabbed his which lay on your chest, both intertwining whilst you both were even closer. 

“Also...I’m surprised you didn’t move on. Especially after all of that time,” his expression then changed into a curious one. 

“What do you mean?” 

“Well...you thought I died. Not only that, but you're quite the ladies man. So I wouldn’t see you having much to...any difficulty actually.” 

“I could never Y/n...though it sounds childish, you were my first love. I couldn’t imagine leaving you for someone else, even if you had passed. I would’ve died an old stallion,” he dramatically said as you burst out laughing. He loved seeing the face you’d make when you were happy.  How lovely the corner of your lips would lift, the way your eyes crinkled, as your brows lifted the slightest bit. He was glad he could see such a sight, and that he was the cause behind it. 

“Who said you won't, ya horse!” 

“HEY! I’M NOT ONE!” laughter continued to fill the atmosphere. Both you and him adding your humor to the mood. Laying your head on his chest, and moving in closer. 

“You know, if we ever do part ways...don’t feel bad, okay?” you stated. 

“What do you mean?” 

“It can apply to anything but...I mean death to be more specific. You never know what will happen in the midst of battle.” 

“Hm...I guess so” 

“But, the guilt will live with me forever. No matter what because...I just love you that much,” you smile to yourself and nod.  

“I too, love you just as much...Jean. And I always will.” 

--- 

While you two were enjoying your moment, being yourselves, cherishing each other’s presence, Zeke was not having any of it. He didn’t hate the sight of you being with someone else, it was just that...he thought your priorities lay elsewhere. Both in loyalty, and worth ethically. That being the case, he decided to do the only logical thing. Crash. The. Party. 

So, he crept behind the both of you, clawed his hands, and placed them on your shoulders screaming: 

“BOO!” 

“WHAT THE HECK!” you then smacked his arm, quickly squirming away from Jean. 

“Heh, good morning to you as well, Y/n. Now, who’s this we have here?” Before you could respond, Jean sighed, extending his hand. He knew that if he let you talk, you would be put in another awkward position. 

“My name is...John. A friend of Y/n,” you wheezed internally. He just had to pick the most generic name, one which sounded like his own. Zeke grabbed his hand, and shook it. 

“Ah...nice to meet you John. Anyways, Y/n...Reiner has been looking for you all morning. His face seemed urgent, so I think you should go see him,” though Jean wasn’t pleased, with both Zeke, and the fact you had to leave (him for Reiner), he approved of the notion with a small nod. 

“I’ll see you later, Je-John.” 

“Yeah...same here,” he then walked the other direction, leaving both you and Zeke to walk towards HQ. 

“Were you lying, about Reiner?” hand in his pocket, as the other smoked up a storm. 

---

“No, I wasn’t. He actually was looking for you.” 

“I see.” 

“Also Y/n, just for the record, know that I’m not dumb, nor oblivious. I know what stunt you two were pulling off, trying to lie to me, tch,” he said, clearly annoyed. You inhaled the smoke of cigarettes. Not sure what to tell him. But you were also...laughing a bit. Actually enjoying his reaction since you’ve never seen Zeke so frustrated out of work. 

“I see I’ve upset you?” 

“Whatever you rascal. How long have you been with him?” he smiled as your hands clasped. 

“We really are just friends. I met him at a pub, nothing much has happened between us, nor will anything in general,” he sighed as his tone became a lot firmer. Though he didn’t believe you, he still had something to say.

“You need to be more careful. If it were someone else who had seen, even more rumors would've been speculated, you know that? Plus, friendship or not, know where your priorities stand,” you choked on your saliva, trying to cough as his words caught you by surprise. 

Before he could say anything more, the gates to HQ then opened for the both of you to see...Reiner...running as fast as he could. 

“Reiner?...” 

“Y/n! You’re here!” 

“Yeah...I am….” 

“I need you, let’s go,” he then dragged you elsewhere as Zeke stomped on his cigarette. 

“You may need her...but does she actually need you...Reiner?” 

Ⅹ > Ⅻ

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

Let’s talk: Grievances and Cuteness - BTS on You Quiz on the Block

by Admin 1

Today BTS were guests on You Quiz on the Block, a very popular Korean variety show on tvN, and it was a wonderful mix of fun and hilarious, but also serious, vulnerable and honest. Seeing as we don’t have subtitles yet, merely the things our marvelous translator ARMYs managed to translate for us—the episode was 100 minutes long so there was a lot going on and being said—I don’t want to get into detail in this post and instead will wait with that until we have subs and I’ll be able to sit down and watch it properly again, focus on things that stick out to me and I would want to talk about. So that I can do their words justice.

Instead I want to use this post to air some of my grievances, directed at fellow ARMY, “ARMY” and shippers, as well as just gush a little about a few cute moments. The more serious things will be in a different post sometime soon. I hope that’s okay.

Grievances

What is the point of Bangtan going on a show like this, especially one that is broadcast on national TV and very popular with the general public? It’s to share not only their funny side but also their honest and genuine one, share stories that, though some we’ve heard before as ARMY, they’re things the general public doesn’t necessarily know. The point of them sharing vulnerable moments and memories with us is to simply be honest and transparent, something they’ve always highlighted as important to them.

What is the part we play in this, what is it that we should do? We are simply supposed to listen, understand the things they are telling us, put things into perspective so we know what they felt in certain moments and periods of their lives, understand that they’re human too with struggles, fears and sadness, and we should cherish the fact that they tell us any of it at all. They could just as well only show up whenever there’s a new album and comeback and then disappear again, share nothing personal at all and put on entirely fake personas. But they don’t. And we should be grateful for that and happy because of it.

Now, the reason why I even wanted to write this in the first place is this:

Many, and I mean many have decided that instead of doing what I’ve highlighted a moment ago, a far better course of action would be to twist their words, manipulate them, use them to victimize the members (and especially Seokjin), and try to overanalyze them in favor of their desired narratives and especially their ships, even if whatever was being said had absolutely nothing to do with any ship at all.

Before the episode even finished airing, solos/mantis were already up in arms “crying” about mistreatment and victimizing Seokjin because *insert demands they have no right to make at all* and when Seokjin, bless him, was on weverse, he actually replied to a post where he basically said that parts of what he said were too sad/depressing, so he simply asked the You Quiz staff to cut them out, which would explain why he seemed to have “less to say” during his interview section with Yoongi. Did that help? Of course not. Even though it showed not only that he did say more, that he likely said more vulnerable things, but also that he made the decision for himself that he did not want to share that yet, because he’s not ready for it or because he came to the conclusion that he simply doesn’t want to period, and that his wish for them to cut it out was met. Even though it wasn’t BH controlled content, but You Quiz.

More below the cut:

What does this tell us? The members have control over what is aired and what is not. If they feel something is too personal or would come across wrong, they can voice objection and chances are their words will be met and followed. They aren’t victims in need of saving, aren’t helpless boys with no idea what they’re doing. They are serious musicians, respected and treated well. This is a good thing and I’m glad he told us that, even if many don’t want to hear it and immediately claimed that “oh yeah BH told him to shut us up”. The mental gymnastics some are willing to do to make things fit their agenda truly baffles me sometimes.

On the other hand, I’ve seen shippers try to twist words or put others into the members mouths to push their agenda, and we’ve even had one or two asks being sent to us basically sadly wondering if maybe Tae isn’t who we thought he is for Jimin, and neither is Hobi, because of something Jimin said. Even though the thing Jimin said had quite literally nothing to do with either Tae or Hobi. In a way, I get where such vminnies are coming from, as vminnies we would love to just hear vmin talk about each other all day because it’s cute and we love their bond and stories, but it’s not like we didn’t get that. Because we did. Unprompted. Jimin mentioned Tae during their trio interview and told a story, even if we’ve heard it before to a certain degree. And yet it still wasn’t enough? Like come on, please don’t do this. Don’t reduce everything the members do and say to just ship related and non-ship related (thus uninteresting) statements and actions, as though the latter is worth less.

Here is the moment in question:

The way I see it, the only thing we should take away from this is that despite these very human fears and struggles, wonderings if people only care about Jimin because he is BTS Jimin and not Park Jimin, he still had and has good people in his life that’ll remind him that he is appreciated and loved for who he is, and not just for his celebrity status. Friends even outside of Bangtan. Why do we have to take something so incredibly personal, this moment of vulnerability from Jimin, and try to overanalyze it? To twist it to fit a ship? Regardless which one. Or to twist it to fit some kind of narrative, whatever one it may be? Please don’t do that.

Sure, Admin 2 noticed his use of ‘chingu’ when talking about this friend that told him that, and sure it reminded me of what Jimin said to Tae in the FESTA 2020 Rolling Paper, but neither Admin 2 nor I will go and claim that oh he must’ve been talking about Tae but didn’t want to use his name to avoid XYZ because we are not in his head and, at the end of the day, it’s irrelevant who exactly said that to him. That wasn’t the point of that story. Like at all. So why are some people disregarding the point in favor of speculations? Why are some completely ignoring his words, downplaying them as just potential ship material instead of appreciating the fact that he told us that at all?

It’s unfair toward Jimin, and the other members as well when they tell similar stories. Their lives aren’t fictional stories that revolve around romance. They are real people with real lives and more friends than just their fellow members and that’s a good thing since it surely gives them the opportunity to feel less isolated, cut off from the world by nature of their occupation and status. Besides, in the past Tae said something similar as well, how he used to be a social butterfly and make friends easily wherever they went but eventually he understood that people didn’t really care about Kim Taehyung and instead just wanted to know BTS V and be able to use that to brag, so he stopped being so outgoing. And we’ve also seen Jimin talk about cutting out friends in the past if they said something negative about Bangtan, then, a few years later, saying that he’s grown more as a person and learned to not allow these things to affect him as much, to surround himself with genuine people.

So, in light of what he said in that segment, we should be happy for him. And that’s it.

We also saw people use what Tae said about his dad to push the he must be 100% heterosexual because he said he wants to be a dad narrative which, where do I even start. Perhaps with the fact that this statement relies on a mistranslation? Because he didn’t say he wants to be a dad but that he wants to be a person like his dad, that’s his dream. Perhaps with the blatant homophobia this statement is laced in? The disregard for how queer people can also want to have kids, be parents, just like anyone else? Perhaps with how these things oddly seem to just be done to Tae and Namjoon, and especially Tae to use it for ship purposes?

Instead of jumping to conclusions, overanalyzing stories we are not supposed to analyze but instead to simply appreciate, please wait until we’ll have the full episode with subtitles (even though from the past we know that some of it may be simplified so reading what our translators wrote is also a good thing to get the whole picture) and even then, just enjoy their silliness and listen to their words of honesty. Listen to the fact that their fame was and continues to be a heavy weight on their shoulders, how instead of becoming cocky assholes they remained humble and genuine because that’s the kind of people they are and want to be, listen to what they want you to hear and now what you want to hear.

Also, to shippers—this isn’t the place to look for ship content of any kind, for some romantic confessions or whatever, because this was about Bangtan as seven members and their stories of the last ten and a half years since Namjoon joined BH and the idea for BTS was started.

Cute and silly things

Now that that's done, let’s talk about some fun and cute things to lighten the mood, shall we?

One of my favorite moments was when the MIC DROP ARMY came in as a surprise for the members, her confidence was off the charts and the guys looked so genuinely happy. After all it’s been so many months since they’ve last seen ARMY! And I’m so glad she was such a wonderful representative for us all, how she didn’t react with fear or shyness, didn’t scream or cry, but instead did her thing like a Queen. And the way the members reacted when she sent them a finger heart during one of the dances? Absolutely adorable! 

Also, she truly must’ve saved some kind of nation, or maybe two, in her past life since she also was gifted a chicken leg pillow by Tae. He’s just so kind and lovely.

Then we had the members play a game of trying to guess a song merely by the first second (I think) and then having to sing it, though who sang which part didn’t follow the actual order in the song but was chosen by someone off screen which meant that, for example, Tae was doing one of the rap line verses as well as singing Jimin’s part in another, Hobi showed off his vocal skills, and of course, the highlight, Namjoon singing a part from Spring Day. Even though we know Namjoon’s skills when it comes to singing are not the greatest, which I mean in a very loving way, no tea no shade, and yet he still went for it. It was hilarious and cute and showed that he is willing to be silly even if others might laugh at his expense.

Sometime after the episode aired Namjoon actually came onto Weverse to talk about the episode and, among other things, apologized for not singing Seokjin’s guide all that well. One thing I’d like to point out is how, originally, he wrote Jinhyung but then changed it to Seokjinie hyung, which is just a small and precious little detail:

Another cute moment was during ‘dance mafia’ when Tae turned to Jimin to ask him if they did well and Jimin replied that yes, he did well (both using this adorably soft tone with each other), they also hugged for a moment while smiling brightly. See, I said not to look for ship moments, but this is just cute regardless if you ship vmin or not. Admin 2 though would like to comment on how they could’ve given us that hug from a camera that’s a little further away so we could have a more proper look, or a longer shot of it, please?

Honestly that game was hilarious and the members who were mafia did a wonderful job tricking the others, particularly JK was fantastic at it since the second time around no one suspected him at all. Also, the fluffy ear muffs with cat (?) ears on them were adorable. At the end of the segment they were all supposed to strike a pose but Tae didn’t manage to put his ear muffs back on, so they fell to the ground and so Jimin lightly hit/caressed his chest and turned toward the MCs to ask if they could try again so that Tae could look good in it as well.

Actually, speaking of adorable in regard to Jimin, when they were introduced at the beginning of the show as RM-jagi-nim, jagi-nim being the name used for all the guests on the show and also the name on the necklace (given to guests who are fans of the show by the producers) Jimin showed off on weverse in his selcas, Jimin corrected the MC that it’s not Jimin-jagi-nim but Mini-jagi-nim which just…my heart. Too cute.

Lastly, I want to mention how all of them were asked what the first sentence would be if their lives were a book and their answers were just so very…them.

Namjoon: Predictions in life often turn out to be wrong

Tae: I’m a chameleon

Hobi: Dear, people who’ve helped to lead me here

Yoongi: You lived life to the fullest/hard/well

Seokjin: Dope, worldwide class!

Jimin: What kind of life do you want to live?

Jungkook: Hello?

Overall it was an amazing episode that was so fun to watch even without really being able to understand any of what was being said. Still the members genuine personalities shone through brightly and I’m glad they had fun and felt comfortable, especially since it’s been a while since they were last on Korean variety shows and some of their past experiences were…not great. I can’t wait to watch it again once we have subs and to write a more proper post about it then. I hope you didn’t mind this more…serious and “angry” post and understand where I’m coming from with my complaints, but also that you enjoyed the cute moments I highlighted.