#it’s been on my watch list for years lmao but I only managed to find a way to watch now

[timethehobo]

Finally got a copy of the series after looking for years. Damn region restrictions and censors. Had to scribble.

[graciereadshannigram]

hey fam, welcome to the May 2024 roundup of the best hannigram fics i've read this past month! i read several million words worth of fics, and these were the cream of the crop. i also managed to rewatch the show for the fifth time!! (unemployment has its perks lmao)

as a reminder: the ingredients for a five star rating typically (but not always!!) include some combination of a.) believable characterizations of both Hannibal and Will, b.) compelling plot and/or character arcs, and c.) high quality smut.

that being said, my judgment of the aforementioned ingredients is powered almost exclusively by vibes. as such, it is incredibly subjective.

you can find past rec lists below:

February March April

and if you have any recs of your own for me, PLEASE SHARE.

anyway, in no particular order, let's go!

~

Overcoming by purefoysgirl

Word Count: 547.5k Summary: A Victorian A/B/O romance in which Hannibal Lecter is the future Duke of Westvale who has been away at war for the past ten years. His Grandfather has made good on a contract made shortly after Hannibal's birth to procure him a wife. It was supposed to be easy. Naturally, with the Omega, Will, given in the place of his twin sister, it is anything but, because if there is one thing Hannibal Lecter despises, it's Omegas.

This fic had me holding back tears when it ended (after sobbing a couple different times). This was... incredible. What a fucking UNDERTAKING this author committed to, and despite this being a doorstopper of a fic, the plot did not miss a single beat. Just... wow. For the love of god, please read this.

Falls the Shadow by littlesystems

Word Count: 72.4k Summary: "You're a psychiatrist," Will says. "Between your personal and professional lives you must have met thousands of people, you must know dozens of different flavors of pathology. Do you know anyone who would take me as I am? Who would be able to love me," he gestures in a sweeping motion, from his messy hair to his stained knee, "just as I am?" "I do." Bedelia's words shock Will into stillness. “Really?” AKA an AU where Bedelia is Will’s psychiatrist instead of Hannibal, Will makes a series of increasingly questionable life choices, and no one should ever take Bedelia’s advice. Ever.

GIMME MORE STARSSSSSSSS. Bedelia as Will's psychiatrist was brilliant, holy shit. And Will understanding Hannibal and completely accepting him? This is something I see so rarely done in fics. Will always makes him be a lot less manipulative, or at least goes through heavy angst over it. But in this? Will was immediately endeared because that's just who Hannibal is.

Bram Stoker's HANNIBAL by DBMars

Word Count: 586.7k Summary: Love Never Dies. "I have crossed oceans of time to find you." Hannibal + Bram Stoker's Dracula + the classic novel = a new version of the seductive vampire legend. Count Hannibal Lecter loses the thing most precious to him -- the love of his life. God is beyond measure in wanton malice, and matchless in his irony. And so Hannibal renounces God, and becomes an immortal monster that feeds on the blood of the living. 400 years after losing his beloved, Count Lecter meets a man who looks exactly like the husband he lost -- reborn and returned. But who could learn to love a monster?

@dbmars you are a fucking genius. I am honestly still processing and figuring out how to communicate just how amazing this fic was. Do yourself a favor and go read it NOW.

the book of jonah by zipegs

Word Count: 18.1k Summary: A sudden breath of hot wind presses through the trees. For a moment, it feels fresh, alive, and then the dust—the pollen—comes along with it, a parasite hitched on the back of the breeze. Will is ravenous. --- After the fall, Will and Hannibal sojourn in a remote, decrepit cabin in South America while they await Chiyoh’s return. But something here is afflicting them, and it’s only getting worse.

Okay, bear with me. THIS WAS FUCKING AMAZING. I haven't felt this way after consuming a piece of media since I watched Guillermo del Toro's The Autopsy episode. Psychological horror mixed with body horror mixed with smut??? I guess that does it for me. I literally can't stop thinking about this fic. It's been two weeks and I am STILL thinking about it.

Wrong by HotMolasses (@snazzymolasses here on tumblr)

Word Count: 4.2k Summary: Will roughly rubbed his arm across his mouth again, trying to rub it off. Rub off the scent of Alana, after they’d kissed. After she’d kissed him. Or he’d kissed her? It was mutual. Until it wasn’t. Until Will breathed in her scent, so familiar, so Alpha, so…wrong. He’d pulled back forcibly, unable to hide the expression of revulsion on his face. “I…I need to go.” he said, sweeping his coat off the back of a chair on his way towards the door. “Lock up when you leave.” The weather was crap, and it probably wasn’t smart to drive in the snow while he was in pre-heat, but Will didn’t know what else to do. He needed to figure this out, he needed to talk to the only person who understood him. He needed to talk to Hannibal.

So ummmmmmm what do I need to do to turn this into like a whole AU?? As always, this was a total home run. Every single bit of it was perfect.

as soft, as wide as air by BlackKnightSatellite

Word Count: 193.9k Summary: After surviving the fall, Will finds he has far fewer hesitations about joining Hannibal than he would have guessed. Character death, but not Will or Hannibal.

Well shit. I read this immediately after a full rewatch of the show (in four days no less) and THIS is my new season 4 canon. It's brilliant and actually reads like a proper season would. And I love how it gives all the characters a concluded story line. Aside from Will and Hannibal. I also loved how much this explored Will's instability and how his mental state would be affected after he finally slung off all the guilt and allowed himself to fully enjoy killing. All around very good.

The Dispersal Method by @victorineb

Word Count: 16.9k Summary: It’s a normal fall day in the forest for Will Graham. Dead body in front of him, cannibal psychiatrist behind him, the usual. Then Will brushes against the wrong flower, and suddenly neither he nor Hannibal can keep their hands off each other. Now, Will must navigate his way out of the crime scene and Jack’s scrutiny while also trying not to jump Hannibal’s bones at every opportunity. Well, one out of three ain’t bad. Set nebulously in s2, post-Will's release from the BSHCI. Will’s a conflicted honeypot, Hannibal’s a (not-so) secretly-besotted asshole, and nobody has brought enough lube.

THIS IS THE BEST SEX POLLEN I'VE EVER READ. Seriously. The BEST out of pretty much any fandom (at least so far).

Between the Shadow and the Soul by raiast

Word Count: 48.7k Summary: When Will decides to stop taking his suppressants neither he nor Hannibal can deny the attraction between them. After nearly a decade of running from his biology, Will is faced with his primitive Omega urges full force. As if navigating his hormones wasn't enough, there is a killer at large with a very specific motive that seems to only be targeting preteen boys.

This might be my new favorite ABO fic? And one of the better case fics out there.

Sleepover by EarthsickWithoutYou

Word Count: 70k Summary: Set in Season 1, after "Fromage." Will is still confused about his kiss with Alana and seeks romantic advice on how to date and be more "smooth" from Hannibal. Little does he know that Hannibal is madly, passionately obsessed with him, and desperately jealous. Needless to say, Dr. Lecter is all too happy to teach Will everything he knows about love and dating.

This was pretty fluffy, tender, and fun, and it was exactly what I needed after finishing a heavier fic

Alana Finds Out by @victorineb

Word Count: 32.1k Summary: A series of one-shots in which Alana Bloom discovers, in the midst of various tropes, that her boyfriend Hannibal Lecter's feelings for Will Graham run far deeper than friendship. Basically a chance for Alana to shout at the pair of emotionally-repressed idiots whilst still indulging in much Hannigram loveliness.

Oh I loved all of this. This scratched that itch in my brain that loves when Alana realizes that Hannibal has wanted Will all along. And some of these one-shots are genuinely hysterical. Love.

Doctor's Orders by JSinister32

Word Count: 29.2k Summary: “He’s dead on his feet, Jack. I do not understand how you allowed him to come when he’s so obviously ill. There have been too many hours in service of your needs, so many that it seems to have affected any sleep that he may have gotten over the past few weeks. From what you and I have discussed, he has a difficult time shutting his mind down under the best of circumstances and this case today has clearly gotten to him.” The doctor stepped closer to the profiler, peering into his eyes as Will tried to focus. “Will? Can you hear me?” Will Graham has never been particularly good at taking care of himself. When he comes down with a severe cold while working on a string of murders, the new psychiatrist on retainer, Doctor Hannibal Lecter, offers to care for him. Will he be able to keep his feelings in check while Hannibal is in his home? Hannibal Lecter can't get the profiler working for the Violent Crimes unit out of his mind. When given the opportunity to care for him when he's ill, will his feelings for the other man come to light?

TENDER. I want like 70k more words of this. Especially Hannibal putting Jack in his place. Especially Hannibal washing Will's hair. Mmm. There's just something so good about Will letting Hannibal take care of him.

The First Condition of Immortality is Death by OneHandedBooks

Word Count: 92.5k Summary: Hannibal’s heart stopped for the first time after he’d dragged himself and Will out of the frigid ocean onto the rocky shore at the bottom of the bluff.

Oh this was GOOD. Very tender, good characterizations, and loved how Will's hallucinations were portrayed. This was just all a really good exploration of how their relationship could have progressed. This author also is incredibly good at showing the scenes in a way that I could watch them unfold in my head. This felt like a crystal clear movie.

What Do The Dead Know? by OneHandedBooks

Word Count: 7.6k Summary: He looks up at her, haloed by the sun. She could be anyone. No one. St. Abigail, patron of lilies and last chances. AU: What if Will joined Hannibal willingly after the Uffizi Gallery and they shared a few tense weeks in the world before Mason's men finally ran them down? In which Will writes, hallucinates, and succumbs to the dark side and Hannibal is a manipulative, brainwashing, bastard.

cw: Abigail/Will. But does it really count if it's a dream sequence? Regardless, this was something else, off the charts, big fan. The author NAILED the hallucinatory vibe that made this entire fic work so so well. Also, just Will working through his grief for Abigail this way made it that much more intense.

chimera of the chapel by bleakmidwinter

Word Count: 211.5k Summary: When Will Graham wakes up from a coma three months after the fall, Jack reveals that Hannibal Lecter didn't survive. Outside the realm of Hannibal's influence, Will decides to discover the full truth behind the world's sudden and seeming falsehood. Everybody seems to hold their own opinion on Hannibal's fate, but Will knows better than anyone that trust and honesty are as elusive as death.

The "presumed dead" trope might just be my new obsession. I adored this fic so much, the plot was incredible, the development of their relationship was spot on, and there were just some very tender moments.

wear my silence like a mask by bleakmidwinter

Word Count: 32.k Summary: After running into Hannibal at a Bass Pro Shop, Will is invited to a Masquerade Ball at his estate. Jack encourages him to attend for an opportunity to catch the Ripper. Extenuating circumstances tempt Will down an even graver path; Romance with the Ripper.

Three words: masked anonymous sex. That's all.

The Voices and the Shadows by darlinghogwarts, MaddyHughes

Word Count: 114.6k Summary: “The Chesapeake Ripper? The serial killer? That's a grisly thing to find at the bottom of a drink. Most people say oblivion ...or possibly sex.” Hannibal sips his wine again. “Why are you thinking about a murderer on your birthday, Will? Is it part of your degree?” “He is a part of my degree by my own choice. My supervisor didn’t approve, but…” He sighs. “I insisted.” AU where Will—a Masters student studying the Chesapeake Ripper—gets drunk on his birthday and meets an intriguing man at the bar.

Man, I wish I had had Hannibal as my thesis supervisor in grad school, hot damn. (Mine was pretty much too busy to help with anything, ended up doing it all myself – would not recommend.) This was was damn near perfect. I needed some good old fashioned angst. With a good and fluffy ending. This was a good AU!

Chasing Thoroughbreds by HigherMagic

Word Count: 42.8k Summary: After the fall, Chiyoh rescues Will and Hannibal and takes them to the Lecter home in Lithuania. When Hannibal wakes up, his memories of everything - Will, being the Ripper, everything since Mischa's death - are gone. Will's only problem with that is that killing Hannibal won't be nearly as satisfying if he doesn't understand why. Wrestling with his own feelings, or what's left in the tattered mess of them after the fight with Dolarhyde, Will stays, hoping that Hannibal will recover and give him the opportunity he's waiting for. But there are others who remember what Hannibal did, all those years ago, and they have their own bone to pick.

Ugh pretty sure I love almost everything HigherMagic writes and this did not disappoint. This was fantastic. I was absolutely captivated by Will's development through this and Hannibal was just as good.

Volto Larva by TreacleA

Word Count: 39k Summary: Will is having trouble unwinding after work. Hannibal helpfully suggests somewhere that may assist with that, with absolutely no ulterior motive whatsoever.

So ummmm I'm still blushing (in the best way) over parts of this fic because FUCK this is scorching. Anyway. That's all I've got to say LOL.

[gunsatthaphan]

✌🏻✨ ~ 2023 wrap-up ~ ✨✌🏻

another year gone, another post no one asked for djkghdf

I normally don't talk about personal stuff on here but like in the previous year I wanted do a little recap and give shoutouts to some lovely people 🧡

It hasn't been an easy year for me, I started a new job which has been stressful and annihilated my work-life balance which resulted in me being sick a lot & just being stressed for most of the year lol. I barely found time to maintain this blog which may not seem like it on the outside since I somehow managed to frequently post but it's been difficult. I know I don't have to be online 24/7 but the fear of slipping into irrelevancy due to lack of content remains. I didn't have much time to watch bls & asian shows in general which I still consider my safe space and escapism so I'm resentful that I didn't get to fully take in and enjoy the things I'm passionate about and make content about them like I did in the previous years. That being said thank god for all the weekend shows that I did manage to watch and fully focus on like Only Friends and now Cooking Crush and Cherry Magic. Those have been life savers lol and also thank god for all the talented creators who gave us tons of content; I will mention some of them below.

But aside from my personal schedule and despite not watching a lot of stuff, I still tried to keep an eye on what's going on in the BL world for my monthly breakdowns, which I still enjoy making and I will likely continue them in 2024. I also came to the conclusion that 2023 ended up being another rendition of quantity > quality in the BL-verse so not much has changed lol - not that I expected it to. We got a wild and extended mix of different genres and subgenres this year which was nice to see. We saw companies & actors experimenting a lot (with varying results), we got new ships, new fandoms and new enemies, as well as a variety of comebacks and retirements. My watchlist this year was limited to Thai BLs and my blog mostly consisted of gmmtv related content and like I said, if I had had more time I probably would have explored more different shows - but I eventually resorted to what's familiar. I guess I needed an anchor in midst of all my personal chaos lol.

But despite my short list, there were a few gems that I enjoyed. The big ones like Only Friends, Moonlight Chicken, Be My Favorite, etc., and the small, less popular ones like Be Mine Superstar, Mission Fan Possible and a few more. I enjoyed talking to friends & making content about them in the limited timeframes I had. My opinions mostly matched those of the general public but unfortunately there were a few disappointments that were bathing in a success that I could not wrap my head around - Dangerous Romance and A Boss and a Babe being at the top of that list, followed by La Pluie and also a few of the lakorns I watched. But anyway.

Anyone who knows me knows my blog has been 83% FirstKhao this year lmao, they're my favorite people in this industry and watching them act, interact & making content about them has been one of my highlights. I'm excited to see what 2024 brings for them and even if it's not a series, I'm looking forward to seeing what else they will be up to 🥺 🐈‍⬛ 🐈

I'm going into 2024 with mixed feelings but above all I hope I will get the chance to expand my watchlist a little. I will post a personal top10 of the shows I watched this year shortly; until then I want to talk a bit about some lovely people this year - I’m not good with words lmao but thank you for being you and making this hellsite a better place 🥹 lol.

@leonpob - bestie!!! 🧡 our BL opinions have drifted apart this year lmao but who's to say friendships are solely based on mutual opinions. You're the best, stay the way you are and here's to another year of sharing thoughts and hopefully finding more shows to watch together (no matter if trash or not lol) 😉😘  @mayalunas - ahhhh I loved talking to you sooo so much this year, we agree on so many things that I'm convinced we share the same BL braincells lmao. You're one of my favorite people on this website, thank you for being such a good listener and a positive & supportive person to talk to 🥺 I hope you have the best 2024!!! ily!!! 🧡 @khunvegas - GURL idk where you went this year or if you still exist sdjkds but just know I haven't forgotten about you and I miss our talks 🥺 come back pls thank. @my-wandering-rabbit - I love our random out-of-context talks once a month lmao, I appreciate you and I hope we will continue our ritual of me watching shows and you asking me questions without watching them kjsdhg @bl-recs-and-reviews - Bestie!!! I love our catch-ups on Discord, you were one of the first people I ever talked to like 4 years ago? crazy. look at us. I still love you, you're the sweetest and I love talking to you 🧡🥺 @dreamedofyou - ahh I absolutely love your blog!!! I noticed you a lot in my notifications this year so I wanted to say thank you so much for interacting with my unhinged content (mostly FK related lmao) - We haven't talked a ton but I think of you as a very nice person and I hope we can talk more next year 🥹🫶🏻

and then of course some more shoutouts go out to all the wonderful and talented creators out there; I will never be able to tag all of you so sorry in advance but here are a few that I appreciate, some of which have also mentioned me in their wrap-up posts so thank you for that!!!

@taeminie @seatawinan @loveisactivated @forcebook @jimmysea @guzhu-furen @daymork @itsallaboutbl @seatawinans @blneobin @blmpfff @wanderlust-in-my-soul @pranpat @milkpansa @raypakorn @ahxu-laowen @forcebookish @forcebookcorner @morkofday @chinzillas @seajimmy @dimpledpran @i-got-the-feels @bengiyo @benkaaoi @25shadesoffebruary @moonkhao @smittenskitten @respectthepetty @earthfluuke @pharawee @khaotunq @khaotunqs @pranink @gabrielokun @piningintrovert @zhaozi @markpakin @firstkanaphans @firstforkhao @khaotungsfirst @wen-kexing-apologist @firstkpp @firstmix @bunnakit @khaothanawat @alienwlw @ffirstkhao (I can't tag the last 4 for some reason..)

have the best 2024!!!

🧡🧡🧡

[blossomwritesthings]

𝐚 𝐟𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐟 𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐬, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬 | 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐫 𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐞

⬷ 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞┊ 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 ┊ 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 →

pairing: minho x felix (minlix)

genre: dancer!minho/artist!felix. brothers best friend troupe. college au. age gap (abt 4 years). minho pov. extremely dark themes throughout, including smut - MDNI, 18+ only.

word count: 4.4k

the playlist 🗡️

a/n: OKAY, SO- 💀 I HAVE AN EXPLANATION FOR THE DELAYED UPDATE!!!! 💀😔 My life has been so incredibly fucking busy lately... with working full time and doing summer uni courses full time and planning for lolla and like, the 5 other concerts im going to in the later half of this year... it's been a lot, fam. 😭 I've been under sm stress at work and from school that I've been getting really bad chest pains, but I'm trying to manage things so it's slowly getting better. But the burn out is real, people. That shit fucks you over sooo bad omg 😭 I just have no motivation to write anything at the end of the day or on the weekends because I'm so fucking tired of using my brain all week. Going to Lolla will be my first REAL vacation from work/uni in over 2 and a half years. That's acc insane to me lmao. ANYWAYS!!!! 🗣️💥 I've already written like, 2 more chapters for this fic when I was in a mania-induced rage a few weeks ago lol, so I just need to find the time/motivation to edit those within the next few weeks. And I already have big plans for the rest of the chapters in this so... I'm excited. Now I just gotta find the willpower to ACC write my ideas 😜

🗡️ - ̥۪͙۪˚┊❛ other cool stuff ❜┊˚ ̥۪͙۪◌! ࿐ྂ

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋread my rules & guidelines here! ࿐ྂ

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋcheck out my skz masterlist! ࿐ྂ

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋmy wip list! ࿐ྂ

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ skz fic recs [sfw ver]! ࿐ྂ

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋskz fic recs [nsfw ver]! :: 18+, MDNI! ࿐ྂ

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋback to navigation! ࿐ྂ

ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ʀᴇᴘᴏsᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ sɪᴛᴇs (ᴛʜɪs ɪɴᴄʟᴜᴅᴇs ᴛʀᴀɴsʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴs). do not copy, spin-off, or write inspired work based off of this fanfic without full permission to do so. ©ʙʟᴏssᴏᴍᴡʀɪᴛᴇsᴛʜɪɴɢs ⤐ ᴀʟʟ ʀɪɢʜᴛs ʀᴇsᴇʀᴠᴇᴅ

̶﹒⊹﹒sɪɴᴄᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ᴀʟʀᴇᴀᴅʏ ᴀᴄǫᴜᴀɪɴᴛᴇᴅ,  ʏᴏᴜ sᴋɪᴘ ᴛʜᴇ ғᴏʀеᴘʟᴀʏ ！،، 🌌  𖥻 𓂃 ʜᴇ ɢʀɪᴘs ʏᴏᴜ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ɴᴇᴄᴋ  ᴀs ʏᴏᴜ ᴘʀеᴘᴀʀᴇ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ sᴄʀᴇᴡᴇᴅ╰╮ 🌑

 To his utter surprise, Minho decided to attend Felix’s dorm party that weekend. The final decision shocked the rest of his friends too, who had grown accustomed to his home-body spirit. Because usually, every time they asked — more like begged — him to go to parties with the three of them, he always backed out of everything. His favorite excuses were being too exhausted from dance practice or not feeling good from studying so much. 

  “I actually cannot believe you’re going to this shit,” Chris said with a laugh that night. He was sprawled across Minho’s bed, one earbud in his ear as his head bobbed up and down to a beat he was mixing on his laptop. Meanwhile, Minho was scurrying across his room, slipping on a pair of socks and making sure he looked somewhat put together. But he didn’t want to seem too desperate to fit in either, since he knew that most of the people at the party would be young freshmen and sophomores. 

  He had decided — with a little bit of Chris’ help — on a pair of black sweats, and an oversized graphic tee from one of his favorite Korean bands. It was nothing out of the ordinary for him to wear, but just ‘normal’ enough for him to fit in with the crowd that night. 

  “Honestly, I’m kinda shocked that you’re not going too,” Minho said as he hurried to slip on his Converse.

  With that, Chris looked up from his flashing computer screen with a deep frown plastered across his face. “Do you really think I want to go to a party and watch as my little brother sticks his tongue down at least ten people's throats?” 

  Minho stopped fumbling with his shoelaces and looked up at Chris with a raised eyebrow. “He’s not actually gonna do that tonight, Chris.” 

  “You obviously don’t know my brother these days… the one that’s mature— at least in his eyes, anyway,” Chris started, tapping away at his computer keyboard again and cursing under his breath for a split second. “That little boy that you grew up with is completely gone, Min.” 

  For a few beats, there was utter silence in Minho’s bedroom after Chris’ statement. Then, Minho fit his wallet into his pants pocket and unhooked his phone from his charging port. 

  “Is that why you… don’t really spend a lot of time with him ever since he got to campus?” 

  Chris threw a long roll of his eyes towards Minho, “That, and the fact that I’m a little too old and tired to be fucking around with a bunch of young kids these days.” 

  “Felix isn’t a young kid, Chris. He’s a grown adult.” 

  Sighing heavily, Chris hoisted himself up and off of Minho’s bed, patting his shoulder in a rough way as he passed Minho on the way out of the bedroom. “We’ll see if you change your opinion on that after tonight.”

  And the entire time Minho made the short trek over to the freshman’s side of campus, he couldn’t get Chris’ words out of his head. They were stuck in the depths of his brain, playing over and over again. Because there was no way that Felix would be so badly changed from the last time he had spent a night with him during their childhood. 

  Sure, Minho had noticed a slight change when they had met in the campus gardens the day before, but it wasn’t… that bad. Not like anything Chris was describing.

  Even still, Minho could feel his entire body tense up as he got closer to the freshman dormitory. He could hear his heartbeat in the corners of his ears as he knocked on Felix’s door. He could sense his palms growing cold and clammy as the loud base of music thrummed underneath his feet. 

  Almost as quickly as he had knocked, someone opened the door. He had never seen the guy before, but he had purple-dyed hair and a dazzling white smile. Reaching out to Minho’s hand, the beautiful stranger yanked him in excitedly. 

  “Holy shit- you must be the famous Minho! I’ve heard so much about you!” The guy shouted over the music, closing the door behind Minho and leading the two of them into the nearby kitchen. “I’m Jisung, by the way.” 

  Without even having time to process the chaos that was the person in front of him, Minho’s hand was grabbed by Jisung and shaken thoroughly. “Uhm- nice to meet you, Jisung…” His voice trailed off as his mind carded through the slightly slurred words that had just fallen from the purple-haired man’s lips. “What do you mean by hearing so mu—”

  “Hey, Jisung! Stop being such a fucking weirdo and let the man breathe!” Someone off to their right shouted in an exasperated tone. 

  Minho turned and noticed a dark-haired figure bent over in the shadows of the kitchen. They raised their head from the counter, rubbing their nose and sneezing violently. Slowly, Minho’s eyes registered the small bit of white substance that was left behind and laid out on the kitchen counter in a neat line. The dude was fucking snorting cocaine. Just then, Minho’s focus turned to the rest of the kitchen’s counters, which were lined with a plethora of drinks, drugs, and other shit he didn’t even have names for. A random couple was making out in the background, the girl’s ass pressing down atop the counter as the man between her legs bit violet marks into the side of her neck. 

  Turning his eyes away from the couple, he watched as the cocaine-snorter sidled up to their sides. Slinging a lazy arm around Jisung’s neck, he pulled him in for a tight hug. “You must be Minho, huh?” He asked in a long drawl, the kind you only got with copious amounts of drugs and liquor flowing through your system. 

  “Y-Yeah… Felix invited me to this last minute, but I’m starting to think maybe coming was a bad idea…” Minho said in a quiet voice that was barely decipherable over the ear-piercing rap blasting throughout the entire dorm. Feeling suddenly uncomfortable under the two strangers' gazes, he fit his hands in his pockets, eyes darting around the kitchen for the closest exit. 

  “You’re a lot cuter in person than what I always imagined,” The guy holding onto Jisung said, stumbling over a bit and making Jisung laugh heartily. The guy had soft cheekbones but razor-sharp eyes. The kind that Minho felt were piercing into him and studying his very being with each second that passed. His jet-black hair was messy atop his head and slightly curled at the ends. “I’m Seungmin, by the way. But most of these fucks around here call me Doggy.” 

  Placing a hand on Seungmin’s chest lovingly, Jisung flashed Minho a sly kind of smile. “He can get you anything you want— just say the word, pay up, and he’ll have it in your hands by the end of the week…” Jisung’s words drifted off into the chaos around them as he studied Minho. 

  Minho felt like both of the young men in front of him were sidling him up — wondering, and guessing, why someone as plain and boring as him was connected to Lee Felix in some way. Minho could feel his palms growing sweatier by the second as he gripped the suffocating fabric of his pant pockets. 

  “So— what’s your weakness?” Seungmin slurred on, eyes growing dark as his gaze traced Minho’s form up and down in the kitchen’s dim lighting. “Fet? Coke? Meth—”

  Already starting to feel sick to his stomach by the topic of conversation, Minho held his hands up in a silent plea for him to stop. “Uhm— not really into that kinda shit.” 

  “What a shame… you’d be a pretty addict, for sure.” Jisung said in a flirtatious tone, biting the corner of his lip as he studied Minho.

  Slowly, Minho could feel himself caving inward. His shoulders dropping, and heartbeat turning into a low thrum, all he wanted to do was get out of the situation he was stuck in. “How do you guys know Felix? Are you both freshman too?” 

  Jisung burst out laughing at that, reaching towards the nearby kitchen counter and pouring himself a solo cup full of vodka. “You're kidding me, right? We’ve been Felix’s homies since our high school days.” 

  “And yes, if you must know— we’re freshman’s,” Seungmin said, rolling his eyes as he grabbed the solo cup from Jisung’s hand and took a long swig of it. Much to Jisung’s displeasure. “Why? What’s it to ya?” 

  Minho shrugged nonchalantly, trying to act like the entire atmosphere around them wasn’t making him extremely uncomfortable. “I was just making friendly conversation,” and before he could let either of the guys in front of him say anything more, he decided to remove himself from the situation entirely. “Actually, I think I’m gonna go try and find Felix…” 

  As he was walking away from the kitchen, he could hear the boys snickering behind him, with Jisung shouting in slurred words, “Good luck finding him if he’s getting his dick sucked in the bathroom!” Minho could hear the two guys laughing manically in the kitchen as he made his way into the rest of the dorm. 

  Immediately upon entering the living room, he remembered just how small the freshman’s living spaces were. The entire place was jammed packed full of bodies writhing and shaking. A space in the middle of the room had been cleared for a makeshift dance floor, so couples were grinding up on each other and making out to the sultry r&b coursing throughout the entire place. Bodies filled up every seat and sofa in the vicinity. 

  The entire room was dark with the curtains closed. That added to the smoky atmosphere, as people smoked cigs, vapes, and joints everywhere that Minho looked. It was hard to see through the haziness of everything, but eventually, he spotted Felix. 

  Felix was… 

  Sitting on one of the couches, 

  Busy making out with another guy.

  And just then, Minho couldn’t even understand the exact feelings he had upon such a discovery. It was a mix of surprise, queasiness, but also… something else too, which he dared not name. 

  He shoved everything down into a firm ball in the pit of his stomach, shuffling towards a nearby table and popping himself a cold bottle of soju. Taking a long swig from the chilled rim, he gradually shuffled his way through the dance floor over to where Felix was. 

  The younger man seemed to exude a certain kind of presence… captivating at least half of the room with his aura. Felix's energy was dark and smoky and… something so mysterious and foreign to Minho, he had no idea how to navigate all of it. 

  “Felix— hi,” Minho yelled over the loud music, waving towards Felix to catch his attention. There were a few other people squished onto the sofa where he was sitting, but all of them were focused on the tv screen which was flashing with an intense game of Super Smash Bros. 

  As soon as Felix’s focus was caught, he was pulling away from the other man’s lips. In the dimness of the room, Minho distinctly caught onto the way that messy strings of saliva parted from their lips, and how Felix’s mouth was puffy and swollen from kissing all night.

  Eyes brightening and pink freckled cheeks shading just a tiny bit, Felix shot up from his spot on the couch, fumbling his way over to Minho’s side. For a split second, Minho was able to gaze at Felix’s form — at the white skort he was wearing which was so short, half of his ass was exposed, and the baby-blue crop top that rose just above his belly button. A belly ring glinted in the sultry lighting of the room, along with all of the silver earrings, rings, and necklaces that adorned Felix’s milky-white skin. 

  “M-Min, oh my god, you made it!” Felix exclaimed happily, tugging on Minho’s wrist gently and leading him over to his spot on the couch. The man that he had been making out with only seconds before shuffled to the side, allowing room for Minho to sit down. Then, he grabbed Felix’s hips and sat him down on his lap. Felix let out a tiny giggle, snuggling his ass backward and earning a grunt from the guy underneath him. “I’m so happy to see you!” 

  Minho flashed him the best smile he could muster at that moment. What with being incredibly overstimulated by everything, and the shock of meeting some of Felix’s... choice friends, and seeing his best friend’s little brother making out viscerally at a party… 

  The night definitely wasn’t turning out as he had hoped, that was for sure. 

  “I met some of your friends, they’re uhm— interesting, to say the least,” Minho laughed awkwardly, carding a few shaking fingers through his hair. “I wasn’t expecting you to be… part of such a crowd, Lix.” 

  Felix shrugged the tiniest of bits, his eyes flicking away from Minho’s and focusing on the video game some of the others were playing. “There’s a lot you don’t know about me, Minho. Things have changed since the last time we hung out.” There was a weight to his words, they felt heavy on Minho's shoulders and weighed on his heart. Even still, he tried to push away those feelings and just live in the moment, without any worries or inhibitions 

  “That’s for sure…” 

  But Minho wasn’t really paying attention to anything else that Felix was saying, if he was saying anything at all. Because he was too busy watching the guy underneath Felix draw circles against his bare skin. Fingers skirting across his skin, the guy softly massaged the soft skin of his thighs, forcing gooseflesh to erupt to the surface. 

  “This is Renjun, by the way,” Felix said, cutting through the silence between them and breaking the trance Minho had fallen into. “He’s a… friend, of sorts.” 

  Renjun turned his face away from Felix’s body, taking a long drawl of a joint that Minho hadn’t even noticed was positioned between his fingers. “Yeah, ‘cause friends definitely stick their dicks in each other’s assess… that's just what friends do, right?” Renjun let out a loud cackle, the kind that would probably make Minho burst out into laughter too, if they were in a different situation. 

  Felix gave the man underneath him a deep frown before his eyes focused back on Minho. “I mean… if you’re truly friends— anything could happen, right?” Just then, he started moving again, hips circling just a little bit atop Renjun’s lap. Almost instantly, the dark-haired man was groaning out loud and clutching onto Felix's hips for dear life. And the entire time, Felix kept his gaze locked with Minho's, practically staring right into his soul.

  Minho was keenly aware of the dry saliva he swallowed down, trying to ignore the way his heart lept just a little bit in his chest at the sight of Felix grinding down against Renjun’s lap. Trying to ignore the way his pants grew just a tiny bit tighter at the sight of Felix flashing Renjun a playful, dim smirk. 

  “Renjun, stop fucking moaning, you’re ruining the vibes right now!” A silver-haired guy who was sitting in front of Minho said. He was part of the group that was focused on the tv, playing Smash like they were in a professional tournament or some shit. “I’m Jeongin, by the way, Lee Felix’s bestie since the sixth grade.” The silvered fox said, momentarily looking away from his game and flashing Minho a smile. 

  At that, Renjun let out a low chortle. “Too bad you weren’t close enough to fuck him, eh?”

  Minho’s attention darted from Jeongin’s face back to Renjun, examining the way his raven locks were somewhat disheveled— like they had been gripped pretty hard recently. 

  Gripped hard by… Felix. 

  Felix threw his hands up into the air, seeming to admit defeat. “What is it with everyone around here wanting to fuck me?!” He exclaimed- although he didn’t seem that upset by the prospect in the first place. Instead, he grabbed ahold of the joint Renjun was smoking and took a long drag of it. Blowing the smoke up in the air around him, Felix’s slightly hooded gaze zeroed back onto Minho. “It’s not like I’m that attractive— I only get the young people to fuck me.” 

  Minho shifted in his spot on the couch, feeling that floaty, twisted snake thrum through his veins. He stared down at his strawberry-flavored soju bottle, pretending to be fascinated with the label. When in actuality, he was doing everything in his power to avoid Felix’s stare. 

  “I mean, who wouldn’t wanna fuck you? You’re cute— you’re hot, you’re fun, and you’re a damn good bottom, too.” Renjun said in a deep voice, and through the reflection of the tv screen in front of them, Minho could make out the way he leaned down and pressed a feverish kiss to Felix’s exposed neck.

  Like a train wreck that you can’t stop watching, Minho couldn’t help but turn his head to watch Felix atop Renjun again. He was still dancing across his lap, doing so with a little more fervor this time. The compliments probably fueled his fire, Minho assumed. Felix was gradually beginning to wreak of a mix of weed, liquor, and the sweet scent of floral perfume. Yet in that moment, it was all too intoxicating for Minho. 

  Turning his head slowly, Felix ruffled Renjun’s locks playfully. “Awe thanks— I feel so flattered that you find me pretty, Renjunnie~” He cooed in a gentle voice, fingers skirting across Renjun’s round cheek with a caress. 

  “Well, I’m sure Minho sure doesn’t wanna fuck you.” Jeongin deadpanned, his voice cascading down around their small group. He was still focused on the game but bent his head backward a bit. Fox-like eyes studied Minho’s face in the smokiness of the room just then. And Jeongin’s lips cracked into a wide, Cheshire grin just as he turned back to the tv. “Actually, never mind— maybe he does.” 

  The entire time, Minho had been entirely too quiet. Letting everything play out, observing and judging silently. He was probably the oldest one in that room, and he could feel the significance of his grade year and maturity weighing down on his shoulders like a 200lb barbell. 

  He took a final swig of his soju, before tossing it into a nearby trashcan. “Honestly, I’m old enough to be his brother, so no— definitely not,” Minho said in a low tone, his throat constricting a tiny bit. 

  But it was just the alcohol, it was just the liquor that was getting to him. 

  And the weed in the air and the cigarettes and every other thing floating around him. It was the loud bass thrumming through the bottoms of his feet and it was the blaring disco ball that was flashing rainbow-colored shapes on the dance floor. 

  Yes, it was all of that… 

  And none of what Felix was doing beside him, or how Felix was looking at him or- 

  “I mean, yeah— a dancer and fashion designer together?? Fucking hell, it’d never work. Aren’t dancers always too tired to even get it up in the first place?” Renjun slurred his words just a tiny bit, as the weed no doubt flooded into his system. 

  “But I bet those hips don’t lie!” Jeongin shrieked with laughter, slapping his leg in happiness at their stupid jokes. 

  So suddenly, Minho realized why he was invited to the party in the first place. 

  He wasn’t included to have a good time, or because he was missed, or because people wanted to meet him. 

  No, he was invited to be the laughing stock of everyone there… 

  Hey guys- look! A stupid ass senior shimmying his way into a freshman party, look at how stupid he looks— 

  trying to hit on the hottest guy on campus.

   And the thinks that he has a fighting fucking chance when everyone else wants — and gets to have Felix — 

  But no , definitely not him, not ever. The brother’s best friend?? Felix would never stoop so low. 

  The energy shifted between Minho and the rest of them sitting there on the couch, freezing in place as soon as he shot up from his spot on the couch. Yanking out his phone from his pants pocket, the screen flashed with the time — one in the morning. He had been acting stupid, been the night’s entertainment, for more than three hours. And just as he realized the time, he noticed the eyes on him — how half of the room was watching him, with people hiding their smiles and laughs behind palms and solo cups and joints. 

  “I have class tomorrow, I should head out.” Is the only explanation he gave, not even affording Felix or the others another glance as he pulled away from the sofa and forced his way through the shaking bodies on the dance floor. And when Jisung and Seungmin called out to him from the kitchen as he passed them by, he gave them no attention. 

  The eyes on his back, which he could feel the entire way to the door, just about killed him. He felt like he was about to suffocate, his heart racing against his ribcage, pushing and pushing, just like he had been pushed all night by everyone. 

  And Felix was no better. 

  He was no better than everyone else because he was the one who had invited him in the first place. 

  So Minho was shocked, then, when he felt a small hand grab ahold of his wrist just as he was about to step into the elevator. To take him away from such a hellhole and such a depressing prison of losers. 

  “Minho— wait, I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t mean—”

   Minho didn’t even turn around, couldn’t, in that moment. Instead, he let Felix hold onto him, let the feeling of his nimble fingers cascade through his system. Let Felix gradually move his hand until he was threading his fingers through Minho’s. 

  Just like they used to sometimes when they hung out together in their childhood. 

  When they were bored, and no one was around, and Chris was nowhere to be found and they could— 

  “It’s all my fault, I’m sorry— I was so fucking stupid for thinking—”

  “Why do you hang out with those people?” 

  Was all that Minho could manage to say, focusing his attention on the way Felix’s hand radiated warmth, how it lit up all the synapses of Minho’s body and kindled the dying fire inside of the deepest parts of him. 

  “They’re my friends, they’re not just ‘people’ to me.” 

  At that, Minho let out a dry laugh. The kind that had no humor in it and was completely sardonic. “What a great bunch of friends you got there, Lix…” 

  Minho regretted the moment he said the word, the moment he used the old nickname in such a cold, seething kind of way. Because as soon as it fell from his lips, the warm fingers wrapped around his were pulling away. 

  “I was nice enough to invite you, I was nice enough to let you into my life again— and you’ve decided to shit on it.” Minho still had his back turned on him, but he could imagine the look on Felix’s face then. If his low, venomous tone was anything to go off of. 

  Slowly, Minho turned around. He found his body moving on their own accord. And just like that, he was facing Felix again. Minho was studying his face and the way it was drained of all color. How there was nothing in his eyes then, but only heartbreak and barely-masked tears. 

  “I never asked to be let in, Felix,” Minho said, but the words came out as a whisper. Like if he spoke loud enough, someone from inside the party would hear them and come running out to take photos. Look, the campus's local desperate senior trying to coax the popular freshman into- “You know I didn’t. Not like this, never.” 

  Without even trying to, Minho could feel his body moving again. His hand reached up and caressed Felix’s cheek. Thumb smoothing across freckles and softness, brushing just underneath his long eyelashes. And for a moment, just like it was once again a dream, Felix leaned into it. Let himself go for but a mere breath, sighing into it. 

  He pressed his face a little closer to Minho’s hand, eyes fluttering shut only slightly. Cheeks heating up underneath Minho’s touch, Felix's gaze shot open again as soon as the thumb underneath his eye migrated to his mouth. Migrated to caressing his bottom lip. 

  “Don’t.” 

  Minho watched the single word escape past Felix’s lips, and instantly, the tension in the air between them broke and shattered. Like someone had taken a knife to his heart once more, tearing him apart by flesh and bone, his hand was dropping from Felix’s skin. 

  “Go back to the party so you can get fucked by Renjun.” 

  The statement was a double-edged sword, both of them knew. 

  The words registered in Felix’s mind and Minho watched as the disdain colored his energy again. Painting him in violent shades of crimson and lilac, Felix said nothing as Minho backed away and into the elevator. 

  Just before he was able to press the button inside to go down, Felix reached out and grabbed ahold of the elevator’s door. “Don’t you ever fucking come back around these parts, or I’ll-” He spit out in a wicked kind of way, the emotions swirling in his pupils. 

 “You’ll… what? Beat me up? You and I both know you’re not capable of that, Lixie…” Minho said, his tone winding around the crackling air between them. He flashed Felix one final smirk, before pushing the button to go down to the first floor. 

  The last thing he saw before the elevator doors closed was Felix’s face, the way his pretty red lips were pressed into a firm, displeased line. The way his eyes were hooded with a mix of rage and exasperation. 

  The last thing that Minho saw on Felix’s face that night was utter betrayal and contempt… 

  To be honest, it was just like the old days again… when Minho had told Felix he was leaving for university and they'd never be able to talk again...

  He had wished to travel back to their childhoods so much, 

  And like a blessing from the God’s, he had been afforded such a thing. 

  What a sweet memory to travel back to… Such sweet revenge to be gifted. 

─── ⋆⋅ ♰ ⋅⋆ ───

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[kimbapisnotsushi]

i started writing this back in the last week of december going on into january bc we had so many karasuno bdays back then so uhhh TECHNICALLY this is a late bday post honoring like four people LMAO but let's go!!

during kageyama's first birthday at karasuno he gets a mysterious series of texts from an unknown number that goes like > happy birthday > not that this means you're forgiven > just thought it was the right thing to do > i know it's your first since. well. you know > you don't have to text back or anything!!!! > fuck fuck fuck just pretend this never happened BYE

he brings up it up two years later when he, kindaichi, and kunimi are better friends and kindaichi buries his red face in his hands and screams and kageyama isn't sure why

kunimi pats him on the back and tells him not to worry about it

ennoshita has a playlist that is solely just like white noise and creaking sounds and generally just things that would make you shit your pants alone in the dark and when asked why he just goes "it's the only way i can feel anything inside"

tsukki will NEVER admit it but he ASPIRES to be the level of deadpan that ennoshita is

tanaka: "so . . . why do you like him again?" ennoshita, watching a video he recorded of futakuchi walking straight into a lamppost bc he was playing pokemon go: "he makes me laugh"

no joke i think ennoshita is a dateko celebrity bc everyone knows about the guy that futakuchi kenji pines over bc futakuchi kenji is just known in a million ways and maybe like 90% of them are Not Good

a third-year has futakuchi by the collar and they're like "all right PUNK get ready to have your lights punched out you'll be seeing stars when i'm done with you" and futakuchi just sighs longingly and goes "ennoshita has eyes like stars . . ."

daichi is that type of upperclassman who knows very single friend of his juniors' but not in like a cool older sibling way he does it in a cringefail modern parent kind of way

kogane used to be soooooo scared of him before finding out what a huge dork he is

actually kogane isn't scared of asahi bc he's so used to aone and asahi cries over it

(sorry for plugging in dateko so much i just genuinely think they have such a fun relationship with karasuno i ADORE it)

onagawa: "man idk how you do it" narita: "do what?" onagawa: "being the only normal person on your team"

yeah no narita is carrying the weight of the world as the only person with the brain cell on karasuno

sometimes it's ennoshita but he's been dead inside since first year so

suga tells the first years he knows martial arts but all he really did was go to one (1) judo club demonstration during his second year of middle school and somehow managed to flip the captain over by sheer luck and never tried again

for takeda's birthday everyone teams up to get him a really nice fountain pen, a classical poetry book, and a quality bottle of sake. for ukai's birthday tsukki leads a powerpoint presentation on why smoking is bad for you and that he really should stop, backed up with everyone else standing behind him with their arms crossed and nodding along

okay that and they also get him a really cute apron (embroidered with crows!!) for him to wear around the store and a bag of good coffee

kiyoko has all - and i mean ALL - the snacks from the local convenience store on a tier list and when the vbc asked how the fuck she managed to do that she just went "my track team was a lot weirder than you guys"

actually the reason why daichi asked kiyoko to be the manager wasn't because kiyoko was the only one with no club activities going on it was because she gave asahi a hair tie when nobody else would and asahi had been trying to befriend her since (and also return said hair tie) but was too nervous to make the first move

asahi: "noooooo daaaaaaaiiiichiiiiiiiiii i caaaaaaaan't i'm so awkward and embarrassing!!!!" daichi, with all the confidence of a fifteen-year-old constantly winging it: "it's okay, i've got this!"

yeah he's just as surprised as you are that it worked out

especially considering he pitched it to her like a used car salesman

kiyoko carries a lot of hair ties with her when she starts just for asahi and when he leaves the team she doesn't stop bc she tells suga, daichi, and the second-years, "he'll come back, just wait and see"

THEY WERE FRIENDS TOO!!!! THEY WERE FRIENDS TOO!! THEY WERE FRIE -

[xioyume]

Request made by: @reiketsunomizunomegami

Request: “So for my request can you please write a headcanon of young severus snape and to his slytherin Girlfriend who is very Powerful, Intimidating, and Strong and she hates Lily Potter, James, Sirius so much because they bullied her Boyfriend.. So one time when They started to pick on him again James beat him and then the Reader suddenly appeared and beat all of them include lily because she doesn't even stop her Boyfriend from hurting snape.. Can u make it Angst and very fluff in the end because the Reader kiss Severus's Lips and Cuddles with him at her room thank you💙”

Notes: Man am I gonna let out all my anger to the Marauders here lmao. Get some snacks cause this is going to be long. I’ll be posting the Spanish version tomorrow or later today, depends on how busy school keeps me. I hope you liked it! 💖

Warnings: angst, fluff, bullying, hallucinations, manipulation, panic attacks, Reader calling Lily out on her bullshit

In which you stand up for young Severus Snape and traumatize some students in the process

Severus and you started dating back in your fifth year at Hogwarts, you became friends during second year

You didn’t believe in the pureblood supremacy going on in the Slytherin house and you were determined to prove everyone that being ambitious and cunning wasn’t equal to evil

However, some Gryffindor boys sometimes made you think otherwise

You weren’t one to hate people that much, but James Potter and his little group always managed to get on your nerves, no matter how much you tried to ignore them

Especially after finding out they bullied the boy you had a crush on

But it wasn’t only the Marauders who made your blood boil; Lily Evans also was on that list

Don’t get me wrong, you used to love Lily since she always was like a little ray of sunshine and everyone liked her

It was actually thanks to you that Severus realized he didn’t like Lily as more than a friend and that he was just confused because she was the first person (outside his mother) that showed him kindness

But after the incident where she was called a mudblood by Snape, your friendship kinda fell apart

Yes, Severus apologized (after a deep conversation with you about peer pressure and realizing he was wrong, also a make out session when feelings got out), but Lily didn’t accept the apology completely

Or maybe she didn’t at all, because she started flirting with the same guy that has been tormenting them since they came to Hogwarts

You couldn’t stand by watching this, so when you spotted the Gryffindors pestering your boyfriend with his “best friend” you decided it was enough

Hiding behind a tree, you watched as the Marauders were chanting about Sev’s greasy hair and his “ugly” nose. All words that you knew were bullshit, since those were your favorite spots to kiss and run your fingers through. You let out a deep sigh as you look at your wand, getting prepared to cast the spells you’ve been practicing for an occasion like this. Once you were ready, you got out of your hiding place and pointed your wand at the leader of the group. And just in time, as you saw the glasses wearing guy gripping your boyfriend by the neck in a threatening way.

“Phantasma!” you yelled and a flash of white came out of the pointy stick, successfully hitting your target.

After a few seconds of silence, James started hyperventilating and sweating. Everyone got close to him and tried to calm him down, but he started screaming about dementors and other deadly creatures that were attacking him; this confused everyone, because no creature was on sight. When they realized that this was your doing, Sirius quickly drew his wand out and went to attack, but you wouldn’t let them win that easily. As quickly as possible, you pointed at him and casted another spell.

“Brachiabindo!” you shouted and a couple of ropes appeared out of thin air, binding Black from hands and legs. Severus watched everything, looking at you in awe as you punished his tormentors. He felt himself falling for you even more.

To make sure the other two remaining didn’t run away to tell a teacher, you casted a hex to stick their feet to the ground. Then, you looked at your redhead “friend”; she wasn’t happy at all about the scene that unfolded in front of her. She took out her wand in an attempt to defend her house mates.

“Expelliarmus”. Evans wand flew away and got lost in the grass. “Is anyone else going to try and defend themselves? Because I would like to try a banishing charm” you said and laughed; oh, how you were enjoying giving them a taste of their own medicine.

After making sure Remus and Peter didn’t have their wands in hand, you approached your boyfriend and kneeled down to be at his level.

“Did they hurt you, my love? Do you need me to take you to the hospital wing?” you asked in a sweet manner, contrasting with your previous behavior. The Slytherin boy shook his head and you let out a relieved sigh.

“What did you just called him?” Lily asked, surprise all over her face and almost forgetting that you single-handedly took down the Marauders. “The two of you are dating?”.

“I’m not surprised that you didn’t know about this information, Lilian”. The girl felt a shiver down her spine when she heard her name coming out of your mouth, realizing your were, indeed, very mad at her. “After all, you only hang out with the same people that have been bullying your so called “best friends” ever since we came here” you spat with anger in your voice and eyes.

“Excuse me? You do realize that he called me a mudblood, do you?”. And that’s when you knew that this was it, there was no turning back.

“And you think that befriending the people that have been abusing him way before that makes you better than him?” you asked in retaliation, standing up from your spot next to Severus and walking up to her. “Didn’t you hear him when he apologized to you and said that he appreciates our friendship more than others’ validation, or did Potter already infect you with his stupidness?”.

Snape got up from the grass and stood behind you, taking your hand in his, and looking at the redhead with nothing more than disappointment in his eyes.

“Oh, is that it? Then why do I always see you happily chatting with Regulus Black and Barty Crouch?” the Gryffindor asked, thinking that she caught you in a lie.

“Because they are part of the few people in our house that do not believe in pureblood supremacy” you answered, feeling proud at seeing the red in her cheeks from the embarrassment. “Besides, being a Slytherin does not automatically make you an evil person; if you were our friend, you would know that”. Evans felt the need to keep talking, even if the three of you, along with Lupin and Pettigrew, knew that she wouldn’t win.

“I am your friend!”. You had to fight the urge to do a facepalm at her stupidity.

“I’d rather stay isolated the rest of my life than have a friend that laughs at my suffering the way you did with my boyfriend” you said, feeling that you could get physical at any moment now. “You’re a bad friend, Lily. And you lost two people that really cared about you”. You turned your back to get your partner and yourself from there when you hear the redhead.

“As if I ever liked being friends with you in the first place”.

When Severus turned around to try and stop you, it was too late; you had already punched her nose and left her sitting in the grass, nose bleeding and crying.

“And believe me when I say that next time I’m going to do worst than this!” you yelled, furious at her words. Before you left, you casted the counter spell for James, since you thought that was enough and a very small part of you felt pity for the bastard. You took your boyfriend’s hand again and you both left them there, feeling defeated and traumatized.

After a long walk through the castle, you found the Room of Requirement and entered, seeing as the place stared to look like a dorm; with a little daybed and a lazy bean bag

The two of you sat down on it, Severus on top of you and you embracing him while stroking his hair. He felt so safe in your arms

He told you countless times how thankful he was for you to be in his life and how much he loved you

You took his face in your hands and looked at him with so much adoration as if he was the moon himself (although he was for you), you pressed your lips together in a passionate, yet delicate, kiss, both of you melting at the tenderness of it

Maybe you didn’t have Lily anymore, but you had each other and your other friends, and that was more than enough

You gave him another peck on his nose, then he gave you one. You kissed his cheek and he kissed yours. You kept going until you started a little war on who could give more kisses. After such a day, you knew he deserved all the love you could give him and you were happy to oblige

If you wish to be tagged in future works let me know <3

[exeggcute]

okah I had that interview with my old job (if you can call it that, since they had no intention of recruiting me and I have no desire to return) and it was certainly illuminating lol. under a cut in case you don't give a shit about corporate nonsense but it's funny I promise

what it comes down to is that the role is "different" now in two key ways: (1) they want someone who currently is or has been a software engineer but also is a technical writer, and who'll start out as an IC and the only member of the team but will eventually scale up to grow the team and become a manager, and (2) has experience working directly with product teams, UX writing, GTM strategy, etc.

re. point two I mentioned that not only are those all things I did (because they're common things that most TWs do), but that they're listed on my resume almost verbatim, which is why linkedin kept telling me I'd be a good fit for the job, and re. point one I was frank and said that like, not only did the job posting itself not convey that at all (because again, I kept getting recommended for it, and everything else in the listing was bog standard TW shit), but basically Good Fucking Luck finding someone who fits that bill lmao. not that "engineer turned technical writer" is unheard of, but it's not the most common path people take, and especially in this job market I'm inclined to think that someone with an engineering background would gravitate towards jobs that pay an engineering salary (i.e., higher than that).

the person I spoke with was pretty receptive about the job listing feedback and said that she didn't write it, the VP of Whoever did, and that they have had quite a few candidates who match the skillset/background they're looking for but I'm skeptical. not to mention how they're not "officially" requiring it to be a hybrid role but they're trying to hire people "who are near the office," whatever that means.

in any case, this confirms all my suspicions about how waterlogged this company's hull currently is, and I wish all the best to whoever lands this role and finds themselves with way more responsibilities than they bargained for. god knows how overwhelmed I was by the end, even with three years of institutional knowledge under my belt. I can only hope the excellent readme files I left behind will make it easy for them to parse my docs toolchain.

also this was a great learning opportunity for me to realize that people suck at communicating what they want—which, okay, I knew that already, but like specifically for job postings. there are soooo many reasons you can apply to a job that perfectly matches your experience and get insta-rejected anyway, but it hadn't occured to me that "they actually want something totally different from what they wrote" could be one of them lol. and then I guess the flip side of that is how you can apply to a job posting and then wind up in a role that's not at all what was advertised. although that is one of the things you should try to sniff out ahead of time in an interview. so watch out I guess

[optiwashere]

what other RPG games do you like?

Heya anon, what a fun question! If I sat and listed all the RPGs I like, it would take forever. Here's a ramble instead because I'm bored on a Sunday.

I've been playing basically any kind of RPG since I got a copy of Fallout 1 in... 1999? '98? I was too young for it, but I was also too young to watch horror films then and look at how I turned out.

Pretty sure I blindly walked into the Glow in one of my first playthroughs and didn't understand why my character kept dying afterwards lmao.

Then I got into BG with BG2 when it was released. After that I started reading Drizzt novels, and that's where everything went wrong.

Either way, I like pretty much any kind of RPG. If you can find it on GOG, Steam, or Abandonware sites, I've probably at least tried it. Old-school, draw a map, tile-based dungeon crawlers like Pool of Radiance or Might and Magic? Yep, love those games. All the Infinity Engine games and their modern clones? Yep! I'm really hoping we get a Pillars of Eternity 3 some day. Even though I think they've all had massive problems so far and I've had bad interactions with the company's community management, I'll probably play the next Owlcat game too. I loved the Mass Effect and Dragon Age games when they came out, but I'm eh on ME2/3 and DA is a really uneven series. I'm less into JRPGs these days, but I've played stuff like Chrono Trigger, Persona, and most of the Final Fantasy series.

Speaking of FF, strategy RPGs are just so, so good and I've had to make do with constant replays of Final Fantasy Tactics and Tactics Ogre for years...

Tabletop RPGs are my only other real hobby these days besides writing, and I'm currently on a break from running anything. I plan on running either Dungeon Crawl Classics or the MCDM RPG (if it's out by then) when I'm ready for another campaign.

I've been a Larian fan since Divinity 2 (that's the Dragon Knight Saga, not Original SIn) and the fact that they got handed BG3 is still kinda surreal even now lol. I remember Kickstarting D:OS1 and thinking it was such a fun tactical RPG with just awful characters. That's what all of their games were like before D:OS2, really. Look how far they've come! And they managed to make a system that I think is largely bad for tactical play pretty fun.

OH! I also love ARPGs. I'm thankful I don't have a real hour count of my Diablo 2 playtime since ca. 2001, because it would not reflect well on me. My Path of Exile playtime is already dangerously concerning.

[the-phantom-otaku]

So my blog is pretty much entirely ben 10 but please allow me to momentarily turn into a Bayonetta blog. There is not enough Bayo/BNHA content and it’s criminal. So I present to you: a Bayonetta BNHA AU, wherein everything still happens, she’s sealed away and all, but she wakes up to find a world full of superpowers and superheroes. The events of the first and second game still happen, just set at a later date. Not sure when BNHA takes place, but it obviously isn’t our current time, so we’ll just say she woke up like 600-700 years after being sealed and Jubileus’ awakening was also going to occur in 600-700 years rather than 500. The events of 1 happen before any of the main events of BNHA. 2’s events occurred during the year Izuku was training with All Might.

I’m just gonna lay out a list of headcanons I have for the AU. Be prepared bc it's pretty long lmao

Bayonetta wakes up to find a world full of people with crazy abilities called Quirks. Rodin helps bring her up to speed since he’s been watching all this shit unfold. 

Rodin also thinks the development of Quirks is somehow related the to Trinity since most denizens of the world of Chaos are powerless when faced with demons and angels. Basically, he thinks it might be the World of Chaos evolving to match Paradiso and Inferno.

Jeanne is a pro hero working at a high school teaching in a heroics course, specifically she teaches the History of Heroes/Quirks. Her alias is still Cutie J, but I imagine her hero costume is something like her motorcycle outfit from 2 complete with a cat-like mask. Jeanne has been a pro for a few decades at this point, so she’s settled into a slightly more quiet teaching role, which involves less action. She’ll still take up her costume and kick ass when need be.

Bayonetta still works as a nun with Enzo, but she gains an interest in becoming a pro hero sometime before the first game’s events, pretty much only bc she thinks it would be fun to be allowed to legally kick the shit out of someone if they commit a crime. Plus, she’s begun to get bored with the low-level angels Paradiso throws at her most of the time and facing villains who can have any kind of power seems interesting. She still does act part time as a nun for Enzo and he acts as her manager at her agency. If someone’s handling paper work, it’s him. The nun business started to do better once she gained popularity as a pro. After the events of the first game, her being a hero becomes a little more about helping people.

She hadn’t really started her hero career before the first game’s events, but she was finishing up the requirements to get her license. Since she wasn’t going back to school, she went through a process similar to getting a GED except she gets a hero license instead.

The events of 2 also happen. Only game events that don’t happen are 3’s bc (I’m pretty sure) that wasn’t main Bayo and also bc I’m not tackling that confusing mess (also even if it is OG Bayo, she fucking dies in the end so-). So for the purposes of this AU, 3 didn’t happen, but elements from it (such as weaponry, demons masuerades, demon salves, and the sin ritual) are all available to Bayonetta and Jeanne.

In both games’ events, the pros weren’t very helpful bc they didn’t know what the hell was going on. Vigrid, Isla del Sol, and Noatun all lack a significant amount of pro heroes due to them being so secluded. The few who do inhabit the town couldn’t figure out what was going on to stop it. All they could do was try desperately to save people from the disasters that kept happening out of no where. The destruction and chaos in both cities were national news and concerned heroes for months afterward. Eventually, the curious cases of the holy cities died down and heroes stopped worrying if these were connected attacks by the same group of villains.

As a pro, Bayonetta gained popularity fast for her quick and stylish way of dealing with villains. Her sex appeal also helped. She just uses her Umbran Battle Uniform for her costume and used Bayonetta as her hero name. She still has her guns as well, but they don’t really get used a lot when she’s working as a pro unless she’s using suppression fire. She also has her weapons from the games to use, but they’re less frequently seen since she prefers her guns.

Bayonetta quickly rose to the top ten in a short amount of time in the States, making many draw parallels between her and the Japanese hero, Hawks. Her insane power also has people draw comparisons between her and All Might.

Tho she’s popular and in the top ten, what holds her back from being number one in the states is largely her raunchy nature. While many love it, there are plenty of parents who completely disapprove of her style and the flirtatious remarks she aims at villains when taunting. There are also religious groups who don’t like her for the witch/demonic motif. She gets more than enough support to keep her well into the top five, tho.

In this AU, she has Demon Masquerade and Demon Slave. She doesn’t use Demon Slave or even summons much when dealing with villains unless the opponent warrants a summon. Her summoning is a huge deal as a result, and it usually dominates the news. Fans of her are always dying to see what demon she’ll summon next.

When she does summon against a villain, she almost always uses Demon Slave so she can hold the demon back from outright killing them.

The media has no idea what her Quirk is. It’s a huge mystery much like All Might’s Quirk. She only ever teases what it is but never actually answers. Some people speculate she’s got multiple Quirks. Many of her abilities relate to her hair, but then there are outliers, like her ability to walk on walls under moonlight, Demon Masquerade, her incredible speed/strength that rivals heroes with power-up Quirks, and her ability to fall from incredible heights without injury.

People have noted the similarities between Cutie J and Bayonetta, but no one knows what the similarities mean. After all, Cutie J had been around for decades before Bayonetta came around, so they couldn’t possibly be siblings. Again, many have speculated about this mystery, but none have gotten the correct answer (besides Luka of course).

Luka is still a thing and he’s still deadset on finding out more about the Umbra and Lumen, but he does stories on heroes as well. On top of the Umbra and Lumen, he likes to investigate the origin of Quirks even tho most journalists consider it an unsolvable mystery. 

Luka has tried to reveal the truth about Bayonetta and Cutie J, but no one believes that they’re the surviving witches of a long-lost clan that most people don’t even know about. The two ladies always write the theory off when asked about it. I don’t think they really care much about keeping the Umbran Witches a secret, but they mainly do this bc they think it would cause a panic that they really don’t want to deal with. 

Both Bayonetta and Cutie J claim that their Quirks offer a form of longevity to explain why they haven’t aged a day.

There’s a TON of mysteries surrounding these two, many of which Midoriya would be very interested in if either were to visit UA despite being American heroes.

I like to think Mina is also a huge fan of Bayonetta. She loves how she incorporates her dancing into her fighting style.

Neither Bayonetta or Jeanne participated in the first two movies. (They technically could’ve in the first, but they’d break the plot, so-). They were involved in World Heroes Mission tho. Jeanne was in New York with Hawks and Tokomyami while Bayonetta went to Otheon. I like to think she went to the slums during the chaos and found Rody’s siblings. She kept them safe and looked out for them during the whole ordeal.

Mysterious Destiny is a real song made by a group of fans who wanted to make a musical tribute for one of their favorite heroes. 

[superbcandyangel]

Ooh I liked those! Okay i gotta ask about more!!!!

- hanamiya, your power forward looks gnc af [GOTTA know]

- dissecting the bird (trying to find the song) [where is the bird dissection coming in, please, connect these 2 thoughts for me]

- substitute [cant tell if this is an unassuming placeholder name, or a hint at something REALLY angsty]

👀

hell yeah you managed to hit some of my absolute favorites <3

hanamiya, your power forward looks gnc af

the fucked up KNB ImaHana fic I was working on long before the one I actually posted, which started as a fluffy little throwaway about Kazuya Hara wearing skirts and KiriDai being protective of him and ended up turning into a fic about Imayoshi being an absolute creep and sexually harassing him to get a rise out of Hanamiya

snippet:

And so Chekhov's other shoe dropped. Imayoshi caught up in an instant, caging Hanamiya against the doorframe. Hanamiya barely squirmed. He tipped his chin up in a performance of defiance, but Koujirou knew his captain. If he really wanted out, he was plenty capable. Imayoshi knew that too.

If Hanamiya wasn't acting now, there had to be a reason he <i>wouldn't</i> knock Imayoshi's teeth in.

"You enjoy making a fool of me, Makoto. A lovesick one, sure, but a fool nonetheless." He spoke slowly, softly, leaning impossibly further into Hanamiya's space. "I've been very patient with you all these years. I think we can at least be honest with each other."

"<i>Honestly?</i> You're not lovesick, senpai, you're just sick."

A weary hum, with too much familiarity, too much affection for Koujirou's liking. "Such a pretty mouth saying such nasty things."

Hara shifted behind him. Voyeurs or bodyguards. Victims or bait. Imayoshi's hands traveled down, down, and Hanamiya was letting him. Visibly gritting his teeth, but letting him all the same.

"If you're so <i>envious</i>, I'm not the only one who's sick."

2. dissecting the bird (trying to find the song)

DabiHawks fic!!!! and the only multichapter I'm working on. the title comes from a John Craigie song (which is barely relevant unless you squint So hard) and it started in the same collection of BNHA BFRB fics as some (most) of the others on the list

Hawks has dermatillomania (hence dissecting the bird) and refuses to take his uniform off during sex with Dabi on his infiltration-turned-honeypot mission bc of that, partially due to Commission PR training but particularly bc he's afraid Dabi will think he's taking his non-burnt skin for granted

the first two chapters are Hawks' own perspective, and the third gives more insight into how Dabi feels about it

snippet:

Frankly, he'd resigned himself to a lovely, bitter, sexless marriage to his own right hand before the asshole had sauntered into his life, wasn't sure his medical miracle of a body could handle much more than that. Hawks seemed dead set on proving him wrong. Not sweet, rarely gentle, seeming to sense the hell that Touya would put him through if he treated him like he was made of glass, but a certain respect, reverence even; an acute awareness of some line he couldn't cross, the stupid fucking limits of his stupid fucking body as it ate itself alive. Damn hero.

Probably something they taught at those boot camps they were calling hero schools, right before handing out baby's first phone book and a license to use it as they deemed fit. He hadn't been able to find records of Hawks attending one, strangely enough, but it was a safe bet all the same. He'd be lying if he said he weren't getting something out of it. Lying if it didn't stir something dim and deep and prone to groveling that he thought he'd stomped out decades ago, being treated like this. Seeing something almost like remorse for watching as Touya crossed that line himself, of his own free will.

Well, if Hawks really wanted to even the playing field, he could think of one way.

3. substitute

100% something angsty lmao, it's a fic exploring Naruto's grief over Sasuke leaving the village for Orochimaru (and his denial that it even qualifies as such) and why he reacted to Sai the way he did — he represents a direct, active, intentional threat to the sanctity of Team Kakashi as he knows it

Sai is my absolute favorite character in the series but I simply never pass up an opportunity to write about agonizing grief

snippet:

Kakashi-sensei had gone on to talk about how you just can't win after a loss like that — every change hurt, good or bad. So did staying the same. Anything that reminded you of the time you spent with them also reminded you that nothing would ever bring that back. The more you clung to scraps of familiarity, passed up opportunities they'd never get to have, the more you alienated yourself from who you were with them in the first place.

Meanwhile each new development, no matter how petty, how small and stupid and insignificant, carved the knife a little deeper. It showed that the world was forgetting, piece by piece. It put the responsibility on you to remember, if no one else would. To plant your feet and refuse to betray their memory. To keep them alive, in some form, whatever the cost.

Naruto thought that a double-edged sword sounded way too cool to describe what he was feeling.

[lotusthewriter]

Papercut

Fandom: Steven Universe

Rating: T

Relationships: Steven & Lars; MINOR - Steven & The Cool Kids, Steven & Sadie, Lars/Sadie

Characters: Steven Quartz Universe, Lars Barriga, The Cool Kids, Sadie Miller; MENTIONED - The Crystal Gems, Connie Maheswaran

Summary: Steven has been feeling anxious and he realizes it gets worse when he's alone. So, he tries not to be.

Word count: 3.965

AO3

A/N: Originally published online last week, I just didn't get to post here. This is mainly me venting my anxiety attacks as of late.

I also personally see Steven having BPD, just throwing this here if anyone finds it relevant.

TRIGGER WARNINGS - anxiety and/or panic attacks, hallucination, emotional neglect, abandonment issues, self-hatred, and brief mention of suicidal thoughts.

DO NOT SHIP LARS AND STEVEN.

P/roship DNI.

--

“Anxiety”.

A word Connie has mentioned. It’s a medical term that she taught Steven after what happened to them as Stevonnie. Connie, with her mother’s knowledge, took Garnet’s advice to heart and she gets to manage her anxiety whenever it hits.

Two years later, Steven still hasn’t been able to feel better.

Flexibility, love, and trust.

Flexibility, love, and trust.

Flexibility,

Love,

And

TRUST.

Steven glows pink instead.

Thus, he goes to Garnet to ask for more tips, to know if she could try to help… but the gem tells Steven that he’s the only one who knows the answers. That he should seek them himself. Pearl and Amethyst, who wait for Garnet to head out to Little Homeschool for yet another fieldtrip, agreed indifferently.

Steven can’t even say anything before the three of them are gone in the light of the warp pad, so bright that he feels like it’s going to attack him.

Then, everything is empty.

He only stares at the void like he’s fourteen again.

Just that worsens the ache in his chest, his pink fists clutching his shirt.

Steven rushes back to his safe place, his room, before things get ugly and he goes ballistic, and he grabs his phone to do some research on anxiety. He finds quite a lot of resources.

Since then, he’s trying.

With the gems away to who knows where, and his father also out of town, Steven tries to get by on his own.

(As usual.)

…

But nothing works.

Steven does everything correctly. List five things you can sense. Distract yourself with things you like – watch a movie or a series or funny videos, read a book, listen to music or even podcasts. Breathe. Hug your pillow. Hang out with your friends–

Oh.

He… hasn’t done that in a while.

Steven can’t, though. Everyone is busy and it’s not like they should stop what they’re doing to be with him, right? Right.

Distract yourself.

Distract yourself.

Distract yourself…

Suddenly, a notification.

New texts… from Lars? How long has it been since they last talked? Maybe he needs help with something?

Anyway.

Lars: hey steven, it’s been a while right?

Lars: idk if your busy, but sadie and the cool kids are back in town and we thought of making a lil party

Lars: i know it’s kinda in the last hour so it’s ok if you can’t make it or if you don’t wanna go, but it’d be rlly cool if you came

Lars: but it’s your call of course

Steven looks at the above, wondering if this was predestined. It feels too perfect.

He hasn’t seen his friends in forever.

He types quickly:

Steven: omg I’d love to!!

Steven: I miss you guys sooo much

(Why does it feel like a lie, somehow?)

Lars: aw, we miss ya too buddy

Lars: i miss you coming to the BD to bug me every morning (followed by a pleading emoji)

Steven: Gee, Captain Lars, didn’t know you loved me that much (eyes emoji)

Lars: i was joking.

Steven: Were you really? :3

Lars: ok now your making me regret inviting you

Steven: Noooooo, come on!!

Lars: lmao

Lars: srsly now. 8 at my place, ok?

Steven: Perfect! I’ll see you there! ^^

Lars: (finger gun emojis)

Steven sighs, feeling so… light all of a sudden. Just this one interaction with Lars seems to have calmed him down a little.

The half-gem feels relieved. So relieved.

He can actually get out there and have fun with his friends, catch up with their lives, laugh together, share something tasty to eat…

(And he gets to distract himself from his rising dread.)

(To finally not be reminded how painfully alone he is.)

Well, it’s still 2 PM. From what Dad told him, Sadie and the Cool Kids are going to arrive at 6 PM… so Steven still needs to do something else to keep his mind busy. Maybe cook or bake something for the party. He doesn’t remember Lars mentioning a potluck, but Steven wants to do something nice for his friends nonetheless.

What is he going to cook or bake, then?

…

Or maybe…

--

“... don’t tell me I inspired you with my nostalgia.”

“You could say that,” Steven smirks at Lars’ statement, while holding two huge boxes of donuts with all the flavors he could remember his friends enjoying. As well as…

“You brought salad, too?” Sadie notices, almost wanting to laugh.

“Yeah, like Buck ordered once.”

“Heh, I appreciate your dedication, Steven.” Buck pats his back proudly.

“We miss our favorite roadie,” Sour Cream says, ruffling the younger boy’s curly hair.

Steven’s heart, instead of anguish, is filled with warmth.

“Awe, you guys are going to make me cry,” he jokes.

“Us too! This was so sweet of you, Steven,” Jenny compliments. “I’m glad you could make it!”

“I know every friend says this and it doesn’t always happen… but we should really hang out more,” Buck says, in his same stoic expression. “I love you guys.”

“Yeah, same,” Steven grins affectionately.

It’s a much more casual party this time, which is the best kind of party after such busy times. Lars’ backyard is lit by those small, spherical yellow lights, and everyone sits by the huge picnic table that replaces Lars’ trampoline. Besides the donuts, you can see Lars’ pastries, and apparently snacks that Sadie and the Cool Kids brought from their last tour.

They sing and play some songs together, they laugh at the stories from concerts, outer space, and Little Homeworld… Steven gets to hear more about their lives and how happy they are.

But most importantly, they’re very happy to share it with him.

Which is such an honor.

Steven is genuinely having a good time.

Perhaps the first time in so long…

He’s so happy to be a part of this.

…

The boy’s phone vibrates in his pocket.

He casually checks it, not bothered by it interrupting his immersion in the party. He’s not expecting much, when…

He sees that it’s the gems.

Steven and his family have countless groups for Little Homeschool, and then they have their own private group, just the four of them.

Pearl has sent him a rather quick and dry text informing him of their absence for the next…

Two months.

…

Two months.

Two.

Months.

And no, Steven can’t do anything to stop it.

Because he tries to text them. He sends a million desperate texts.

And his pleads are never answered. And they will never be, because the messages aren’t even sent .

He goes to all their private numbers, and nothing.

Steven calls them, to no avail. There’s not even the option for voicemail.

Bismuth, Lapis, and Peridot are on their own separate fieldtrips as well, so it’s useless to try to call them.

No one is reachable.

No one.

No one.

“... Steven. Steven?”

The half-gem only gets a little startled at Lars standing next to him, and bearing the most concerned expression Steven has seen him with. He also realizes everyone else has stopped talking.

“O-Oh, sorry,” he laughs nervously, quickly putting away his phone. “It was nothing.”

“Is everything okay?” Jenny asks.

“You looked like someone died,” Sour Cream observes, also worried.

“No, no, nobody died.” Well, except Lars , Steven would’ve darkly added. “It’s– It’s fine.”

“Are you sure?” Sadie questions.

“Yeah.” Steven’s dread returns to his chest, his hands beginning to shake. He hides them in his pockets, which doesn’t help since he feels his cell phone and it’s the thing that ruined everything. He’s doing everything not to turn pink. “I’m sure,” he mumbles.

Everyone looks at one another, unsure. Steven wants to scream.

“Hey,” Lars whispers, putting a hand on Steven’s back. “Do you want to go inside a bit?”

The latter hates that he likes the soothing touch, yet he’s also afraid the former is going to notice Steven is shaking, so he dodges it much to his own dismay.

“It’s okay, Lars,” Steven mumbles, wanting to cry.

He avoids everyone’s eyes, his hand almost crushing his phone into pieces inside his pocket. He’d love to throw this darned thing into the depths of the ocean.

“Sorry, I ruined the moment, didn’t I?” Steven laughs darkly.

“No, Steven, it’s okay,” Sadie reassures him. “You don’t need to talk about it if you don’t want to, okay?”

“Yeah, man, no worries,” Sour Cream agrees.

Despite that, the party does grow a little quieter. It feels like the emptiness of his house.

Of course. He screwed everything up. Again.

Now they don’t want anything to do with him.

(Like the gems. Like everyone else.)

Steven at least gets to resume his laugh and his smiles, because he’s always been so good at them.

Time goes by…

And they start leaving.

Because obviously, nothing lasts forever.

Jenny is the first one who leaves, and she gives Steven the biggest hug. It doesn’t smell like pizza anymore, instead it’s a sweet scent. It’s different but nice. But too quick.

Sour Cream and Buck leave together. The former sidehugs Steven, while the latter gently tells him to take care of himself, and to always count on them whenever he needs. Steven smiles and nods, without any honesty.

Lastly, Sadie, Lars, and Steven… the original trio. It’s been so long, Sadie and Lars are a lot more comfortable around each other nowadays, holding hands under the table. Steven would’ve fanboyed at another time when he sees Sadie casually kissing Lars’ cheek, causing her boyfriend to go pinkier than what should be possible.

Sadie’s hug, though, is longer than everyone else’s goodbyes.

“It was nice seeing you, Steven,” she grins with some melancholy. “Don’t forget we love you, okay?”

Steven doesn’t believe her, but he plasters a smile on his face just to please her.

“Okay,” he replies simply.

Sadie is convinced, and walks away.

Finally, it’s just him.

The only one left.

Lars is quiet.

Steven knows what he’s going to say.

And before Lars does, the sixteen-year-old puts his distraction in action.

“Oh, do you need help cleaning?” He asks.

“Uh, there’s… not a lot to do.”

“Yeah, but like, I could help with the trash.”

“Steven, it’s fine.”

“No, really, I–”

“Why don’t you go home and rest?” Lars isn’t even being rude, he’s genuinely suggesting it because he can tell Steven isn’t fine.

But going home is not going to help.

It’s the last thing Steven needs.

“Don’t worry, Lars, I can do this!” Steven grins widely and already moves to the table to take the remains of food and plastic, as well as the donut boxes.

He can hear Lars sighing in the back.

(Steven hates himself. Obviously Lars doesn’t want him here.)

(But Steven can’t go back.)

(He can’t go back.)

Indeed, there’s not a lot of work to do. Lars washes whatever dishes he needed for the baking part, while Steven takes care of the trash. There are huge trash bins in the yard, so he easily finishes the job.

… it’s over.

He does more.

Steven seeks out any trash he can find to fill the larger bin, both in the kitchen and the restroom.

“Dude, what are you doing?” Lars asks from afar.

“I’m helping!”

“But you’re done taking out the stuff from the party, aren’t you? Why are you taking out the trash from my house?”

“Because I want to help!”

Before Steven can go back outside, Lars stops him with a frowning face.

“Steven, you’re not okay,” the latter states seriously. “You need to go home.”

“No, I don’t.”

“I think you do. I don’t know what happened that you saw earlier, but you need to rest.”

“I don’t need rest.”

“Oh, you don’t?” Lars sounds sarcastic. “Like you’re not obsessively looking for stuff to do?”

“I’m not doing that!” Steven defends.

“Yeah, and I bet you’re not going to clean all the restrooms next. Or the windows. Or my entire bedroom–”

“Oh, haha , you are SO hilarious,” Steven rolls his eyes and tries to go outside again, only for Lars to step forward to make him go back. “Lars, let me go,” Steven warns.

“Will you at least tell me what’s going on?”

“I have nothing to say to you.”

“Alright, then go home.”

“No.”

“Don’t make me throw you inside my head myself.”

Steven boils. “Just let me do this for you, Lars!”

“I’m telling you you don’t have to!” Lars raises his voice.

“But I want to!”

“And I want you to be okay!”

“But I AM OKAY!”

“You wouldn’t be YELLING at me if you were!”

Steven growls in frustration, “Just let me go outside!”

“NO!”

He has had it.

The half-gem pushes Lars aside harshly, to the point of knocking the latter over, and Steven is too distraught to apologize for it. He rushes outside in the peaceful night.

“STEVEN!” Lars yells from inside the kitchen.

He just needs to do this.

He needs to distract himself, distract, distract, distract–

Steven opens the bin–

Noise.

Light.

Too much.

A swarm of white butterflies comes out of the trash bin, flying so loudly and so close that Steven falls backwards.

No.

Not them.

Not them again.

No. No. NO. NO. NO.

He thought he had it under control. He thought he would be okay. He thought…

Steven hides.

That’s all he can do.

He’s alone, alone, alone, alone.

(And he deserves it.)

…

“... can you hear me? Steven! Steven !”

He’s panting furiously, violently.

“Make it go away!” Steven cries.

“Make what go away?”

“EVERYTHING!”

He half regrets yelling, but Steven knows the butterflies are there, and no one else does.

“Steven…”

“Too much,” Steven speaks in between gasps, “too much, it’s too much, I-I can’t take this anymore!”

At this point, he’s aware that he’s pink and he can’t repress it any longer. It’s consuming his every thought, every part of his body.

“I can’t… I can’t…” Steven heaves.

Whoever is there must have left, right?

Steven is helpless. Hopeless.

…

“Steven, can I touch you?”

Oh… they’re still there.

“Is that okay?” They ask.

Steven doesn’t want to look back. He doesn’t want to see it all.

But…

“... y-yeah,” he hiccups, “okay.”

“Okay. I’m just- gonna help you sit, alright? Are you hurt?”

Steven shakes his head, unsure if it was meant to answer the question.

Either way, he feels hands on him, at first trying to remind Steven that they’re real. The hands are gentle. Scarred, rough, but gentle and slow. Their long fingers are a history of cooking cuts. Steven doesn’t know how he can tell all these details, but he does.

“Easy…” the sixteen-year-old is gradually being moved to sit.

But he knows that he’ll be closer to the butterflies.

“WAIT!” Steven yells in panic.

“What?” The other person stops immediately, but still gets a hold on him.

“I-I don’t want… I don’t…” Steven can’t even say the right words, so they come out as, “I don’t wanna die…”

Well, they’re still kind of true.

“Hey, you’re not going to die.”

“I don’t want to…”

“You’re not. I’m here,” Lars – Lars Barriga, perhaps the best person to deal with someone in this situation – promises. “I’m here, Steven.”

You’ve got nothing to fear

I’m here, I’m here, I’m here.

…

Whimpering.

“I don’t wanna go home.”

He gets silence.

“I d-don’t wanna go h-home,” Steven cries like a little kid after a nightmare. “I-It’s so… empty… so…”

“Lonely?”

Steven nods painfully.

“You’re not going to be alone, okay? I won’t let that happen.”

Lars sounds so sure, and the way he’s rubbing Steven’s shoulders… it brings the latter shivers. The good kind of shivers.

And tears. So many of them. All the tears that he has swallowed and never released them.

Steven clings to his friend, who squeezes him in return, the hug as rough and tender as his mere touch.

“I’ve got you, buddy,” Lars reassures him. “I’m not going anywhere.”

It only makes Steven sob harder, purely out of relief. It’s so ironic, but so true.

He cries for a good couple of minutes or hours, smelling vanilla and butter in Lars’ clothes, not minding the dirty apron the baker is wearing at all. Steven wants to absorb that smell and make it his home, because it feels so safe that he doesn’t want it to go away. He doesn’t want the hands to let him go ever again.

And it feels like Lars wants to protect him from the world, from whatever horrible thing that made Steven like this. Even if he can’t see the butterflies, Lars still seems to shield Steven from them.

Just that has the half-gem finally face reality, finding the butterflies roaming there, endlessly coming out of the trash bin. As Steven expected.

However, with Lars holding him right now, Steven doesn’t feel so overwhelmed anymore.

So… this is what he needed.

He gets now.

Thus, the butterflies finally end and they fly to the sky above, replacing the stars. They will never disappear, as he already knew.

Steven relaxes significantly, like he’s going to pass out in the hug. He lets out a shaky breath while Lars hugs him tightly in response, knowing that it’s the perfect kind of tightness for Steven.

Lars also breathes in and out deeply, squeezing the boy some more.

“Come on,” he whispers, “let’s go inside.”

This time, Steven accepts it, glowing pink and everything.

--

“... I’m sorry,” he sniffs. “I’m sorry I snapped at you like that.”

Lars sighs, but in regret. “I’m sorry, too. For being a jerk to you.”

Neither of them give excuses.

Steven contemplates the night sky from the skyscrapers, aware he can see the butterflies from there. In the meantime, Lars holds him as Steven has no energy left to cling.

“I hate feeling like this,” the younger teen vents, “it just keeps getting worse with time.”

“So you’ve had this before?”

Steven nods. “I-I’ve tried everything to make it better. Garnet taught me and Connie how to deal with our problems, and it worked for Connie… but not for me. And I asked Garnet for help, but instead she just gave me a life lesson and Pearl and Amethyst didn’t even care, and they LEFT ME without ANYTHING!” Steven snaps, only for him to cover his mouth and freeze, scared he might have startled Lars.

Lars, however, doesn’t look scared of him at all.

Instead, sad. Maybe angry, but not at Steven.

“So yeah, I’m expected to do everything on my own, I’m used to it!” Steven continues, more furious. “I looked it up online, since Connie told me about ‘anxiety’, and I did everything they taught me to manage it, but nothing soothes my chest, nothing calms me down… I think I only felt good when you invited me, and I got to see you guys again. I haven’t felt this happy in so long, a-and then OBVIOUSLY, something always has to RUIN it for me.”

He tears up again, his eyes burning pink and red.

“I-I… I got a text from the gems that they’re going to be gone for two months , a-and I couldn’t reach them. Because they’d already left. EVERYONE left. T-They all left me .”

Lars doesn’t say anything, choosing to hug Steven closer, nuzzling his black curls, doing everything to make sure Steven feels loved and cared for.

“Why does everyone leave me?” The half-gem asks.

Except Steven knows why.

He’s selfish. Useless. Clingy.

He doesn’t say any of these things, yet Lars pulls away just slightly with a stern look.

“Steven,” the older teen begins seriously, “listen to me, you don’t deserve to be abandoned, okay? No kid in the world deserves to be abandoned or neglected; they deserve to be reminded every single day that they’re loved in all the ways possible. You didn’t fail anyone by existing. I know everyone out there”– Lars gestures at the above –“made you believe that, but they’re WRONG.”

There’s some kind of ferocity in Lars’ words, the same one Steven heard back when the boys were abducted to Homeworld – firstly when Lars refused to leave the ship without Steven, and then when he convinced Steven to return home instead of sticking with Lars and the Off Colors.

A sense of protection, perhaps.

Steven feels warm inside, which he feels ashamed of for some reason, and at the same time it hurts. Which makes no sense, because it’s the good kind of hurt. What kind of hurt is good?

Still, the glowing boy’s eyes are only filled with more water.

Noticing that, Lars gently wipes some of it for him.

“You don’t have to be useful, Steve,” he says tenderly. “You don’t have to be self-sufficient, you don’t have to be strong all the time. You deserve to have someone, and you deserve to have someone when you feel the whole weight of the galaxy crushing you.”

Steven sniffs, contemplative.

Lars’ words are believable. Steven has always trusted him, and has always thought the world of him. Steven loved Lars from the beginning, embracing every little part of him, the weight that he also carried.

Still… one question keeps haunting Steven every single day, every single night.

“... do you think they would treat my mom like this if I weren’t here?”

Lars immediately tenses, immobile like a doll. Not a corpse, but a doll.

Steven, admittedly, asked that to himself. He knows Lars won’t have the answers. He can’t speak for the gems. It feels cruel to Lars, who’s just trying his best to help a friend in need.

The silence this time is not comforting. Steven fears he ruined everything again.

“Steven?” Lars suddenly sounds… fragile.

When the younger boy looks up, he sees a teary Lars already staring back.

“I love you,” the latter tells him.

The broken way he says it…

“Whenever you feel unloved, whenever you feel alone or whenever the gems fuck off to wherever they go without a trace,”– Steven’s eyes widen at the word choice –“I want you to remember that I love you, and that you’re always welcome here. There’s always food and life here, no emptiness at all. And you can always go see me at Spacetries and we can have a coffee and chat like the old days, or if we can’t see each other in person for any reason, you can call me. I can always teleport, too. I can do literally anything to help you, Steven, and I want to help you, because I love you , okay?”

Lars is cupping his cheeks like they’re precious, wiping Steven’s tears and crying his own. Like Lars is the one crying for him now, feeling his pain for him.

“I’m here for you. I’ll always be here, no matter how, no matter what,” he insists.

Steven is too speechless to react.

He realizes, though…

He stops glowing pink.

And he forgets everything else, with how genuine Lars’ love is.

Steven merely lies down against his friend, who covers him properly with his blanket. Lars caresses the boy’s black hair, in the same way that Steven has always craved for, even if it reminded him of bad memories.

It’s perfect just the way it is. Perfect in every way, just like you.

He doesn’t want Lars to ever stop.

He doesn’t want this to ever be gone.

But Lars won’t leave him. He will make sure Steven never feels anxious or useless on his own again.

And Steven…

“... I love you, too,” he whispers.

Lars tightens his arms around him, this time sniffing. If he cries on Steven’s head, neither of them talk about it.

It stays between them.

[thestarfishghost]

800 before the end of December is looking nearly impossible smh but eyyy! 777~

NGL, I'm movie and ova grinding so hard. I usually manage to watch 100 new things a year, but this year I instead rewatched nearly 40 things. It's been a big year for nostalgia for me, but also for getting a few people into different things with me! Vampy has personally watched so much stuff with me this year? Oh my God??? It's been a blast! I have never felt more human than when Vampy and Kimchi enjoyed Dragon Maid along side me, I swear. I also got Vampy into Enstars by starting the anime together and I am delighted >:3 Made this in celebration actually >:3 @shut-in-magical-girl

That said, I have actually watched some actual shows too, such as the first season of Oreimo and the first two seasons of Kami Nomi! Those were actually really fun. The first season of Oreimo has some of the most impassioned speeches I've ever heard about the more ""controversial"" sides of anime. I did admittedly have a love-hate relationship with Kirino at first, but honestly, it was just because of the more wildly exaggerated tsundere tropes. They became easier to laugh off after awhile. I really relate to the way she loves the hobby, and I think it really helped me warm up to her more quickly. How she enjoys collecting and getting excited over it... I relate to that in those same ways lol specifically to her Meruru shrine lol (ik no one asked, but aside from Krino, my best girl is actually Saori. I look forward to seeing more of her every time an episode comes on! :3) Also, Idk why I skipped Kami Nomi for so many years, but I legit just left it on my P2W list for a decade lol. I've only had one other person ever recommend it to me as well;; and that was like 4-5 years ago now lol;; I slowed down with playing eroge and bishoujo games around,,, 2015/2016(?), but I used to play them religiously. Keima should probably not be someone I relate to... but here I am. Relating to him. While nowadays my main passion lies in the animation side of things, I still really find relatability and comfort within this specific Reference Humor genre of anime, so I've really enjoyed this series so far. I finished up Irregular Witch too :( First show from the current airing block that I've actually completed. Bittersweet, but I had fun with that one too. I'm going to especially miss seeing Phoenix every week. I find that I usually watch whatever comedies are airing when I do tune into the blocks as they air, and this one was a really nice companion piece for the heavier stuff I've been keeping up with. I watched a few other full series, but this next one is the last I'm mentioning for now. I might make more posts another time; we'll see. Two of my favorites that I got around to during my sick week are these two next mentions; first up is Wotakoi. I am devastated that there isn't more Wotakoi. Help. They covered pretty much all of the manga according to other fans, so it's unlikely more will come out of it. It always hurts a bit when something is fully finished, though. especially when I enjoyed it so much. I might read it just for the sake of wanting more of it. It was really straight forward and was honestly a breath of fresh air. There weren't any real love rivals or anything; just nerds figuring themselves out and their dynamics out. I literally just watched six weirdos make friends and fall in love with fairly no complications involved. I'm thriving. (Or maybe I'm just a lonely, nerdy adult who is tired of drama in my life. Maybe that's the only takeaway here lmao /lh) And then,,,, finally,,, Magical Witch Punie-Chan. I have... No words. It was amazing. I loved it. I haven't laughed that hard in awhile. 4 episode OVA with an additional 4 episode Omake after. Wonderful if you like darker gag-humor series and want a short little trip. This one was weird but delightful, truly. P.S. I kept "Lyrical Tolkarev~ Kill Them All!~" as my discord status for like 3 days lol That theme song is going to live in my head rent free for the rest of my days. As for what I'm most excited for in 2024, there's probably, like, A LOT. But off of the top of my head, I can name the next Given project (PLEASEEEEEEEEECOMEOUTALREADYYESSSSGIVEITTOMEEEE JANUARY27THCANNOT COME FAST ENOUGHHH) and the second season of Bokuyaba (one of the only manga I have bothered with in 15 years, going to be so real right now;; I cherish this story). When these things come out, I know for a fact that my blog is going to briefly implode. Apologies about it ahead of time lol!;; I'll probably be saying more as the currently airing series all come to an end over the coming weeks. There's quite a few I don't want to end TT~TT so talking about them might be nice!

[groundbreakingdot872]

update on how my family’s managing after DotD

“tell them we’re devastated” HAHA

no joke christmas was ruined- felt the evil energy of the bbc merlin writers ten years ago, running through my veins, as I clicked on part 2 on prime video ;)

they soldiered through the first part like champs, only small comments on Arthur’s round table speech they wondered how Elyan’s seat had been replaced and immediately clocked Eira as a traitor bc ‘that’s something the show always does 🙄’

sisters were crying when Merlin was stuck in the crystal cave, and I was crying when he walked up the landslide of rocks after Balinor and disappeared into a halo of white light..

then the second episode started and I was

s h a k i n g

(still hearing the words ‘just really sad’ and ‘I can’t believe it’ and ‘she tricked us 😦’ in the living room as I type this up, and it’s been way more than 24 hours later…)

Gwen was so badass! 🥰 and Merlin was out there winning! And I remembered why this was so terrible the first time, the show works hard to give us this false sense of security.

I clicked on the episode knowing that within 5 minutes Arthur would be stabbed and I’d be able to retire from my long career as a loving older sister.

It was literally a ‘gasps hears around the world’ kinda moment, they all sat up and then, my second youngest sister the Mordred stan (she dressed up as him for our s2 finale costume contest) burst into tears! and I actually felt really bad.

But then the magic reveal!

It was deadly quiet when Merlin revealed his magic and there were a few long sighs when Arthur turned away to say ‘leave me’. I was pretty much inconsolable and this is my third rewatch personally. They did! make the connection between Merlin’s ‘fire dragon’ from ‘Moment of Truth’ and the one from this ep however :)

Then we had the long haul of waiting for the beginning of the real end really, and I was relieved to hear them giggle when Arthur and Merlin reminiscenced about their first market place fight, and Merlin’s ‘charm’.

then… The Real End

Of course my little brother (if you remember him from his story ‘Morgana’s Weak Quickening) had to gloat about how Merlin had ended her, just as he’d predicted, and everyone was shushing and glaring at him because it wasn’t the time lmao

I was already crying for real by the time Merlin had Arthur in his arms and they were exchanging their last words, and I was surprised to find later that they did! hear Arthur say ‘just hold me… please’ because I hadn’t heard it on my first watch.

There were no gasps or shouts when Arthur died, just silence…

No one jumped when the truck came on scene as a jumpscare (I was kind of mad at myself for getting startled even though I knew!), and then Merlin crossed our tv screen for the last time and I let the end credits play in full.

They shushed me after I attempted to speak in the two minutes after the credits ended, and it was so quiet for the next ten minutes I thought I broke them…

Their reactions:

Sister 1: ‘Wh-hat..?’

Sister 2: ‘HE DIDN’T DESERVE TO DIE’ (Mordred😵‍💫)

Sister 3: ‘But Gaius didn’t die?? I didn’t put ‘Arthur dies’ on my theory list…’

Brother: ‘I TOLD YOU SO. But… now I’m a little sad :(‘

Afterwards, I promised I’d let them all loose to look up any ‘spoilers’ for the show they wanted. (We have an unofficial rule that whenever we’re watching anything for the time, we can’t look up anything related for fear of spoilers. And I’m a very strict drill sergeant about this 🫡)

But they weren’t very interested…

Our Christmas morning was noticeably sadder. And I wondered again how families in 2012 had coped when their kids had struggled through the unfairness of the finale and still had to open presents the next morning… a mystery really…

They spent the whole. day. watching edits and playing sad music in the living room (to which my parents were very confused) and coming up to me to either rant or fight about the finale haha

Now my sister (the piano playing one) is learning how to play ‘Solas’ by Jamie Duffy on the piano bc she says it reminds her of Diamond of the day and she’s been very determined! All break, she’s been getting up to play ‘Solas’ and ‘Bond of Sacrifice’ and ‘The Love Theme’ and I’m proud of her, for getting this far and only a little concerned

- I think the kids are gonna be alright? lmao

They’ve made plans for fanart and fanfics and alternative endings and I think I’ve fully recruited them into the immoral fandom (if not happily) although I’m sure they’ll recover soon enough to join us in bittersweet reminiscence next year :)

oh! forgot to add one last thing

after rewatching ‘A Dragon’s Call’ last night my brother had one thing to say. “Arthur says ‘there’s something about you Merlin’ …but that something was that he would die in Merlin’s arms…” LMAO I almost died on the spot but I’m glad to see they’ve inherited the fandom’s morbid (or Mordred ;) sense of humor

[greywindys]

Can you tell us what others 2doc's dynamic ships come to your mind? Jsjsj

...I don't know if you want to open this door, anon, lmao. I think I used the wrong term when I said "ship." I'm going to share a non-exhaustive (I'm not going to get too spicy atm) list here, but I also want to clarify that I don't really ship any of these, and in some cases, idt some of this media has a fandom with active ships anyway. Instead, think of this as a list of potential 2Doc AUs that have likely never been done before (I've certainly given consideration to all of them lmao). In general, the 2Doc dynamic, or a version of the 2Doc dynamic, exists in a lot of media. If you watch any of these, and come out supporting a ship, then I support you! But you can think of these in a platonic sense as well. This post will also be long because I talk a lot, and I wanted to find Youtube clips.

Succession: I've talked ad nauseam on this blog about TomGreg (Tom = Murdoc, Greg = 2D), and while I don't want to repeat myself, I couldn't make this post in good conscious without including them. This is quintessential 2Doc if canon ever gave 2Doc the development it deserved. In fact, I have a half-completed draft still sitting around that highlights every parallel. Here is a longer post where I begin to talk about some similarities. I love Succession on its own, but it is also home to so many of my personal Murdoc hcs. I owe it my life.

While we're here, I'd also add an honorable mention to TomShiv (Tom = 2D, Shiv = Murdoc) with the way she hurts him over and over and he keeps coming back to her, and the way they hate each other by the end of the series, but also realize they can't live without one another. This is the abridged version, but I'm trying not to make this so ridiculously long. I can go into more detail if anyone wants me to. Anyhow, here is a TomGreg clip. There are literally so many compilations on Youtube, but this is one of the more iconic scenes, imo, and it should gets it's chance to shine.

The Lighthouse: This comparison should be relatively familiar to 2Doc fans, I believe? I knew about this movie before it was cool, though, because I love Robert Eggers as a director. He managed to unintentionally write an amazing PB - two men, trapped on an island together slowly lose their minds. Fun for any ship, tbh! But PB and 2Doc similarities are undeniable. This portrayal will be more appealing to those who enjoy earlier 2Doc (P1-3), though Robert Pattinson's character has both flaws and a backbone, and I like to think of 2D this way as well. Willem Dafoe's character also gets his comeuppance. Tbh, this is my PB.

Seven Days in Hell: 2Doc tennis AU? A strange combination to consider. I forget why I watched this years ago. I think I was still coming out of the GOT fandom and wanted to watch some of the casts' new project. Anyhow, this may be appealing to fans of the 2Doc as bitter rivals/enemies. Kit Harrington's character reminds me of 2D SO much lmao. And Andy Samberg's character is very Murdoc.Fair warning, I believe this has a bad ending, but I remember liking it. There are also probably some problematic elements I'm forgetting to mention, but we're also talking about 2Doc here. Indubitably.

Whatever is going on with these guys aka The Climb: Okay, I'll be honest, I never actually watched this movie. The trailer played while I was at the theater to see a different movie. However, it stuck out to me for it's depiction of a "toxic friendship," enough that I posted about it on this blog years ago. That's actually the only way I remembered it. I was browsing through my video history looking for my Taylor Swift AMV and stumbled upon the original post. I thought, "wtf is that, and why did I post it?" And it was because of 2Doc. And idk, it doesn't look that bad! I enjoy little indie movies like this.

Glee: Listen. Or don't. I'm going to attempt to outline the main points of my argument in a short paragraph. Rachel Berry is ruthless in pursuit of her ultimate goal of becoming a Broadway star and will happily sacrifice friendships, others' successes and safety (she once sent a student she viewed as competition to crack house to dissuade them from joining Glee Club so she could have less competition for solos) etc to achieve it. Finn is kind of dumb, tall but nonetheless popular. In the early season, Rachel fixates on him and it creeps him out. Visually, their heights are similar to 2D and Murdoc. While, as many know, the show starts to flop quality wise in season 2, the 2Doc dynamic is there, though obviously not nearly as unhealthy as Gorillaz 2Doc. But this was that fandom I came from prior to following Gorillaz! And I thought back to Finn's characterization quite a bit while writing 2D in The Answer.

Okay, so that's six to start off. I'm happy to defend my choices so far kskalds. Or if you, or anyone else, has any ship platonic or otherwise that you want to add, feel free to do so!

[steveharrington]

your neopets posting has inspired me to get back into it but i haven't played in like. 15 years lmao. do you have any tips on getting back into it and ways to rack up NP (easy games with good payout, tips for completing quests, etc.)? i looked at the subreddit but there's just. so much info it's a bit overwhelming :(

YES thank god a reason to talk about neopets <3 i agree the subreddit can be very confusing! i know things like food club and the stock market can rack up a lot of NP fast but tbh i’ve always found them so complicated (esp food club) and unpredictable and i’m not a fan of risking my money SO i’ve mostly been making money with restocking and dailies.

for dailies i highly recommend using jellyneo because they have them all compiled in one place and if you make an account you can have a customized list. the dailies i do are anchor management, apple bobbing, bank interest, coltzan’s shrine, daily puzzle, deserted tomb, forgotten shore (you need a map for this one but you can find them on the trading post or in stores for like $2k total), fruit machine, grave danger (petpet needed), healing springs, meteor, rich slorg, TDMBGPP, tombola, both kings, and trudy’s surprise. trudy’s surprise is very important to do every day without skipping because over time as your streak gets longer, you can start raking in $19k a day guaranteed and $100k by the end of the month!

game-wise the tragic aspect is that flash wiped out like 80% of the games :( fashion fever is still there and you can send score on it 3 times a day for 300 NP each time, which is pretty good considering all you have to do is drag clothes on the little kougra. other than that i really only play hasee bounce because i find it enjoyable and you can get 500 np pretty easily!

restocking is my main way of making money and it’s really not as confusing as some people make it sound. as a beginner, you probably wanna start at neopian fresh foods in neopia central or kayla’s potion shop in meridell castle. these shops stock very lucrative items for relatively low prices in bulk. in fresh foods esp you can get neggs (worth about 16k and stocking in bulk with about 20-30 at a time, so you don’t even have to be lighting fast) or even purple neggs (worth like $110k). in kayla’s the items i have the most luck with are jar of forest earth, mano root elixir, cooling balm of the warrior, and energising elixirs. i realize this probably sounds hard to remember BUT luckily jellyneo has a shop directory, so you can find specific shops and sort their inventory based on price to see what’s lucrative and what isnt. there’s more info on restocking in some guides like this one!

being part of the discord has been absolutely game changing for me because you can 1. see when shops clear and 2. learn from other people which items are lucrative just by watching them. plus it’s just fun to talk to other people about neo <3 if you wanna neofriend me my username is maggiemay726 (childhood UN everyone look away)! i hope this helps!!

[asinglemagpie]

My adventure into watching The X-Files season 10 and 11 concluded last night! It was my first rewatch of 10 since it first aired, and my first time watching 11 at all.

I really didn't like 10 the first time around, but I find it's not as bad as I remembered it being. There's still some hella cringy scenes that my second-hand embarrassment had trouble handling, but overall it was an alright season.

11 was better. I really liked most of the season, a lot less cringe - or at least it was more manageable when it happened? As a life-long shipper it meant that the returned pining and sexual tension was great fun for me, as was the resolution of it.

I will definitely be putting the two seasons into the rewatch, as I should have done years ago.

Except season 11 episode 10.

As far as I'm concerned the show ends with "Nothing Lasts Forever" - the last scene in that was quite beautiful, and acts as a lovely open-ended finale. It was hope, and resilience, and the plan to continue towards the future together, whatever it may - or may not - bring. It's what it should have been.

Genuinely I don't blame GA for saying "I'm done" after what they did in s11e10. I would be too. It just... it wasn't what the show, characters, or fans deserved.

So, as I said, as far as I'm concerned season 11 only has 9 episodes. After all, 9 is the number of completion.

I'm now soothing my angry soul (seriously, that final episode is so infuriating!) by watching Good Omens before our most recent Prime trial runs out. Relieved that there only seems to be 1 ad per episode so far, I was terrified it would be upwards of 7 like it can be on Freevee - and unlike Freevee (and ITV) they know how to put the ad between scenes and not in the middle of one.

Not sure what's on the watch list after this. I have a lot of options both new and rewatch, so I'm not lacking on what it could be next. It'll probably be something a little shorter than 11 seasons lmao, I don't think I'm quite ready for another long-haul series.