#it’s especially bad tonight because we were having a tense conversation earlier and I’m anxious about what you’ll say when you come back

[insanechayne]

~ ~ ~

[hiiraya]

didn’t know what i had (rewrite)

masterlist

pairing: natasha romanoff  x reader

words: ~3,216

warnings: angst, break-up (pls lemme know if there's anything else i should add!)

requested: nope :p

a/n: this is my one and only nat series (because i suck at writing series, and continuity - bad memory gang represent - in general) but pls lemme know what y'all think!  (also i think i got a little carried away bc this used to be 2k+ words and now it's 3k+ words)

part 1 | part 2 | part 3

“Marry me?”

Despite your voice shaking from the nervousness running through your veins, you stayed hopeful, looking up at Natasha from where you were kneeling on the ground, almost dropping the velvet box in your hand from how anxious you felt.

“…what?”

"Uh-, w-will you marry me?”

You can already feel the dread starting to settle in your stomach when she takes your hands and pulls you to your feet.

She doesn't meet your eyes when she lets go of your hands, looking at everywhere else but you.

“Y/N… I’m sorry, but I can’t marry you.”

-

It felt like the universe was mocking you ever since Natasha said no to your proposal 4 months ago.

Neither of you had told anyone on the team that you had tried to ask her to marry her and you preferred it to stay that way.

Tony and Pepper went and got married (which of course, you were elated about, you'd been rooting for them from the very beginning), and then what seemed like only a few months after that Wanda and Vision decided to tie the knot too.

Being their close friends, of course, you and Natasha were invited to both of the ceremonies.

You were happy for your friends (how could you not be?), but you couldn’t help but feel like you were missing out.

Sure, you two were still together, but compared to before where you would always be attached at the hip, it was like the two of you suddenly became polar opposites. Whenever the newlywed couples were in either of your vicinities, you found yourself actively trying to avoid your girlfriend and vice versa.  

No one but the two of you knew the reason why.

-

"I just want to know why, Nat."

You hadn't meant to bring up the topic of marriage again, but Tony decided to call you and Nat out on why you hadn’t gotten married yet.

To put it in his words, “you guys have been together for what, almost six years now? You're already practically married at this point!”

And even though you respected her decision to say no, there was always a tiny part of you that wanted to know the reason as to why she said no in the first place.

"I'm just not ready and you know this, Y/N," she sighs, shaking her head.

It was always like this now; constant sighing, the cold shoulders, the both of you getting irritated with the other that lead to yelling and arguing about the tiniest things.

"Marriage isn't in the cards for me; a family isn't in the cards for me. I’m sorry if it is for you, but I can’t give you that.”

You should’ve know better than to expect more of an explanation from her. In fact, you were surprised that she even said that much considering she found every excuse to leave the room when any of your friends even so much as hinted at the topic of marriage.

Your shoulders sag at her answer, but you nod anyways.

“You’re right, that's my bad," you mutter, "I'm sorry for bringing it up again.”

You're too lost in your head as you leave the room to see the wary glance Natasha sends your way.

-

“It's like we're walking on eggshells, Wanda. We’re acting like we don’t even know each other anymore.”

Natasha didn’t mean to eavesdrop in on your conversation with Wanda. Clearly you thought it was only you and Wanda in the living room, especially because everyone else had announced that they were doing their own things for the day.

“Asking her to marry me was a stupid idea," she hears you sigh, "I should’ve just kept my stupid mouth shut.”

A sigh is heard all the way from where she was hiding in the kitchen, knowing that the younger girl was most likely frowning at your words.

Wanda could feel the regret and uncertainty emanating from you as you sat next to her, your thoughts practically screaming at her for her to take a peak inside your mind.

(Wanda didn’t mention to you that she could hear someone else’s thoughts just a room away.)

You’d never spoken to Natasha about how you felt (granted, she didn’t talk to you about how she felt either), and she couldn’t help but agree with your words from earlier.

You two were walking on eggshells; you rarely spoke to one another ever since she said no to your proposal, the air becoming tense and awkward whenever the two of you were in the same room.

As much as you tried to show just how much it didn't affect you, she could see it in the way your mannerisms changed, the jokes you used to share with her slowly coming to an end, like you were back to being strangers all of a sudden.

“Please don't say that, Y/N/N. You’re not stupid, asking her wasn't stupid, you didn't know that she was going to say no.”

Judging from the lack of response from you, Nat took that as the end of your conversation.

Taking a peak from her spot, she saw you sitting beside Wanda, looking visibly troubled.

Deciding not to violate your privacy any longer than she already had, she starts to walk back to her room. It’s the defeated tone in your voice when you speak up that stops her in her tracks.

“Why doesn’t she want to be my wife?”

-

Arguing seemed to be the norm nowadays whenever you two were alone together.

“So, you’re talking to Wanda about our problems now?”

She came back to the living room after hearing Wanda leave, promising that she would be back later with food, leaving you sitting alone on the couch with your thoughts.

“What are you talking about, Nat?”

She watches you sag further into the cushions while she walks over to you, standing over you with her arms crossed over her chest.

“‘It's like we're walking on eggshells, Wanda. We’re acting like we don’t even know each other anymore.’”

She parrots your words from before and watches the realisation fall on your face when you realise that she heard your conversation with Wanda.

“What do you want me to say, Nat?" You frown. "We are walking on eggshells, and whenever we’re alone we just end up arguing. We keep going in circles, and I don’t know what to do anymore.”

“Then don’t do anything," She bites back, "clearly we’re going nowhere.”

It’s not the right words to say and she knows it, but she was just as tired of the fighting as you were.

“What do you mean 'we're going nowhere'?”

Was she really willing to throw away the a six-year relationship she shared with you?

"I'm done talking with you."

She's deflecting and you both know it, but before she can say anything else you scoff, something she's noticed you doing more often whenever she was around.

“Well you don't have to worry about that," You retort. "You don’t ever have to talk to me anymore about anything, Natalia.”

She can't explain the way her heart drops to her stomach, the feeling like she's just lost something inherently important to her as she watches you walk away from her.

-

As cliché as it sounded, you wanted to run away from everything. Well, more specifically someone.

So you did just that.

“Are you sure that you want to join me on this, Y/N?" Maria asks you for the nth time in the past 10 minutes. "I don’t even know when we’ll be back.”

You liked the think that it was the universe trying to make it up to you for all the shit it's put you through in the last months when caught Maria leaving Fury’s office, asking her if there were any missions that you could tag along to.

Luckily for you, she was leaving for a recon mission and you jumped at the chance to leave with her.

Maria hadn’t heard about what happened between you and Natasha, everyone but Wanda had still yet to find out, and frankly you’d wanted to delay telling her for as long as you could.

The less questions asked the better.

You’d leave it to Natasha to explain your sudden absence to your friends. Or not. You really couldn't care less at this point.

“I’ve never been more sure of anything, Agent Hill.”

Maria looked like she wanted to say more but decided against it. After all, you two had been friends for years, and working with you as closely she did, she could easily read you like an open book.

Which meant she knew when to call you out and when to drop the conversation.

“Pack a bag then," She nods. We leave tonight.”

-

“They’re back.”

Clint looks across the room to where you were standing with Wanda and Maria, watching you smile as you caught up with the younger girl.

You and Maria had just arrived back from your recon mission which had taken longer than expected, with what was supposed to be a six month mission became twice as long (not that you were complaining, it gave you more time to heal and recover from your heartbreak) because of an issue with the intel.

“I heard that they got back this morning.” He tells Natasha, pausing to look at her. “How’re you feeling?”

Giving him half-hearted shrug she looks at him, subconsciously moving away from your view. If Clint catches on to what she was doing, he doesn’t call her out on it, instead moving to stand in front of her to block her view of you.

“The last thing I said to Y/N was that I was done talking with them. I didn't expect them to stay, but I didn't expect them to leave without a word.”

The older of the two sighs as he glances back at you briefly.

"Sometimes you tell someone that you're done, that you never want to talk to them ever again, but then the phone rings and there's a part of you that hopes that it's them. It's the most twisted logic of all time."

Clint doesn’t miss the way Natasha keeps looking over his shoulder, right where he knew you were standing, almost as if she was holding herself back from walking over to where you were.

There were so many things she wanted to tell you, but a year of distance and silence was too long, and she didn’t want to risk getting shut down the moment she had a moment alone with you. She didn't want to have to watch you walk away again.

“You should talk to Y/N.”

Clint gives her a reassuring smile, squeezing her shoulder before excusing himself to head down to the training room, leaving her alone with her thoughts.

-

“I don’t understand why you and Clint want me to talk to Y/N so badly, Wanda.”

The witch throws her head back in slight frustration before meeting the redhead’s eyes once again.

“You’ve been ignoring Y/N ever since they got back, and don’t even try to lie to me about it." Wanda frowned at her friend. "From what you’ve told me in the past, Nat, you want to talk to Y/N. You know you do.”

After finding the normally stoic woman crying in the training room months after your departure, Wanda was the first person Natasha opened up to about her feelings, just like you had.

Since Wanda was close to you as well, she'd heard the story from both sides and acted as the mediator between you two.

Seeing as the older girl was still apprehensive, Wanda took it upon herself to speak up again.

The younger girl speaks to her in a motherly tone, looking at her friend with sympathetic smile. ”Sometimes all you need is 20 seconds, Nat. 20 seconds of insane courage to tell Y/N/N what’s been on your mind for the past year."

"Wanda, they probably don't want to talk to me."

Shaking her head, Wanda puts her hands comfortingly on Nat’s shoulders.

"Not talking to each other is what caused this in the first place. You don't know that they don't want to talk to you." She reasons. "And you also don’t want to regret not saying anything at all either, we don’t know the next time they’ll be back.”

Giving her friend’s shoulders a gentle squeeze, she waits until their eyes meet once more to speak again.

"Just-, think about it, okay? I heard that they’re getting ready to leave again soon.”

-

“I’ll leave you two to talk.”

The air is tense after Maria exits the room, telling you that she’ll be back to get you when it’s time to leave and Natasha watches your gaze turn to the ground for a moment before clearing your throat.

“So, if there's nothing here to talk about, I still need to pa-"

“Wait, Y/N.” She interrupts before you could finish, knowing that once you found a reason to leave, there was no way she would get another moment alone with you.

You sigh as you look at her, and Natasha can see just how uneasy you are being in the same room as her after such a long time. After all, last time didn't end too well.

It wasn’t like you were trying to avoid her (though the same couldn’t be said about her actively trying to avoid you like the plague ever since she saw that you and Maria were back), but she knew why you didn’t go out of your way to come talk to her.

"The first time you proposed-"

“Nat, do-"

"Just let me say this," She pleads. "Please."

She’s had a lot of time to think in the past year, had a lot of time figure out what she wanted and what she really needed. No matter where she started or what she thought about, everything always led back to you.

You tried so hard to hold onto the threads that was holding your relationship together while she was all but ready to throw in the towel the moment it got too much.

Natasha's never regretted anything so much in her life before.  

"The first time you proposed," She starts again. "I said no because I thought I wasn't ready and that I didn’t want to get married. And I spent a really long time regretting saying no to you."

Judging by the look on your face while she was talking, she could tell that you would rather not relive the memories of her rejecting your proposal.

“But then everyone around us was getting married; Tony and Pepper, Wanda and Vision. I could see how much you wanted what they had, even though you always told them that you were happy with the way we were.

"They all seemed to happy, it made me think that maybe getting married wasn’t the worst thing in the world, even if I kept saying that I wasn't ready, that it wasn't in the cards for me. And even though I was being so adamant about my choice, I kept hoping, kept wondering if you would ever ask me to marry you again.”

She gages your reaction to her words, seeing that familiar furrow in your brow that she always used to kiss away whenever you were feeling frustrated or confused.

"But it never came."

She knew that it wasn't fair put all the blame on you, she was just as equally guilty - she knew she pulled back and distanced herself from you after you proposed to her. It was never in her intention to cause a strain between the two of you but that’s exactly what ended up happening.

"I wasn't going to push you into something you didn’t want, Nat.”

You’d been quiet ever since Nat started her spiel, so hearing your voice break the silence startled her. You spoke to her in a soft tone - you were never one to raise your voice, only this time you sounded too tired and defeated, like you’d been hurt for so long that nothing really affected you anymore.

“Y/N-“  

“I should’ve known that you didn’t want to get married. It was stupid of me to just assume that you would say yes. I guess I just didn’t enough pay attention to realise that marriage wasn't in the cards for you, and I should have. So, I didn’t ask you again after that.”

It wasn’t stupid, Y/N. You’re not stupid for wanting things too.

She could only stare at you, letting you say your piece and unknowingly giving you the power to make or break her with what you had to say next.

“I asked you and you said no, all of a sudden our friends were getting married too. I wanted that, but I would never force you to marry me just because I wanted it. Whatever you were willing to give, I would've gladly accepted. But then one thing led to another, and the next thing I knew we weren’t talking to each other anymore. Whenever we did, we were always arguing. It got to the point where we were just going in circles.”

You were still talking in that soft tone, the timbre of your voice would have been calming to Natasha had it not been for the words coming out of your mouth. It seemed to her that the more you talked, the more exhausted you looked, like discussing this with her was draining you of your energy.

"You told me you were done talking to me. The only thing I’ve ever wanted was to make you happy, Nat, and if me leaving made you breathe a little easier and relax a little more, then I made the right choice. I didn’t want to make things any harder for you, for us, or for anyone.”

It’s breaking her heart all over again to hear you say those words, as if you thought that you didn’t mean everything to her. You’ve always been too good for her, and she was lucky enough that you shared six years of your life with her.

She could’ve spent more if she just didn’t fuck everything up.

Tears stung her eyes at the thought of not having you in her life, in her future, unwilling to even entertain the thought of seeing you with someone else.

“I was so focused on myself that I didn’t even think about what you were feeling, how this affected you. You were hurting too, yet you were trying to make things work, and I didn’t even bother to talk to you. I told you that I was done, Y/N, but the last thing I wanted was for you to leave.”

She paused as you ran your fingers through your hair before rubbing your eyes, taking the chance to gather her thoughts.

“I let the best thing that ever happened to me go.”

She didn’t even know if you still felt the same like she did for you, but if what Wanda had told her meant anything, she knew she had to try.

“What are you trying to say, Nat?”

“Please give me another chance.”

[everybodyscupoftea]

song fic idea!!! grow as we go by ben platt?? w rafe 🥺💜 i fuckin love ur writing dude makes me feel all warm inside n shit

oh first of all, thank you so much, that means a lot :)

secondly, i fucking love ben platt and that song makes me so soft and i kinda am gonna do this but also if you think about it, possible wedding song for the ‘you are the music in me’ verse? idk, let me know what you think

Rafe first suggested Grow as We Go as the song for your first dance, and you were immediately on board. It was so soft and encompassed, you felt, how the two of you had changed together over the course of your relationship. You also liked the amount of emotion Rafe’s eyes held when he listened to it, practically overflowing with love.

Sitting on the floor together, leaning back against your bed, legs out in front of you, you couldn’t help but think back over the years as the lyrics washed over the two of you. Rafe reached down and grabbed your hand with a soft hum, bringing it up to press a soft kiss to the back of it.

You say there’s so much you don’t know / you need to go and find yourself / you say you’d rather be alone / ‘cause you think you won’t find it tied to someone else

Right after graduation, the two of you got job offers. The only problem? In two different states. Rafe went west and you went north, fully intending on making it work. And it did, sort of. He didn’t struggle at all fitting in and making new friends, you were always a little more reserved and no one at your new job was making it easy.

Every time the two of you FaceTimed, Rafe was so open, talking about dinner parties and golfing and how much he loved his new job and his new boss. Meanwhile, you felt you were barely staying afloat. You weren’t sure if he could tell (he could) but you didn’t want to bring him down with your personal shit, so you internalized it.

When he’d ask about your friends, you’d sweep it under the rug, “They’re great, we’re getting dinner tomorrow.” Which was never true. And Rafe was starting to get frustrated, you could tell.

It all came to head one night when you zoned out mid-talk of a fishing trip. Rafe cleared his throat, effectively catching your attention, and you raised your eyebrows at him in confusion. He looked a little annoyed and a little amused, “Thinking about something over there, bud?”

“Hmm, just tired I guess.”

“How are things going for you?” he asked, “don’t want to hog all the conversation.”

“It’s good, I like listening to you talk.”

He narrowed his eyes at you, “Why won’t you just tell me the truth?”

Your thoughts flew to the last phone call you’d had with your mom. She was the only one who had any idea of what you were going through, and her advice was to end it with Rafe.

“Baby, you’re holding on to this boy and he’s changing, you need to change too. You aren’t in college anymore, this isn’t just going to end in four years, this is your future.”

“Rafe is my future,” you told her stubbornly, refusing to accept her advice.

“Is he?”

Her words struck you and echoed as Rafe looked at you, frustrated, waiting on you to come up with something.

“Should we break up?” you mumbled, playing with the carpet, refusing to look at your laptop screen.

It was silent for a few seconds before he whispered, “What?” in such a broken voice that you had to look up. His eyes were watering a little and his fingers were tapping on his jaw, something he only did when he was really anxious.

“Cameron, I’m just dragging you down here. You’re flourishing, you deserve to have a good, new life. I have some shit to figure out before I get to be where you are.”

Oh, who said it’s true / that the growing only happens on your own / they don’t know me and you

“Why can’t I help you figure it out?” he asked, reaching forward at the screen, as if to touch you.

“You’re not here,” you told him, looking back down at your hands.

Rafe didn’t have anything to say to that, you were right, but he wasn’t going to give it up. After a few minutes of silence, you were about to just end the call and the relationship, but Rafe had one last card to play.

Music started to softly play through your laptop speakers as he held his phone up. The song made your chest ache you missed him and his songs so fucking much. Before you could stop it, your eyes welled up with tears, running down your cheeks almost immediately.

“Sweetheart,” he started, speaking over the music, “I may not be there in person, but I’m always there for you.”

You won’t be the only one / I am unfinished, I’ve got so much left to learn / I don’t know how this river runs / but I’d like company through every twist and turn

Rafe had a weird relationship with his siblings, especially Sarah. There was a weird competitive dynamic that came from her being the blatant favorite all his life. The two of you had talked through it, for the most part, and Rafe was content to have an estranged friendship with her forever.

And then one evening, she showed up at the two of you’s apartment door, holding two suitcases with tear stains on her cheeks. Rafe had gone to answer the door because you were making dinner and you heard him say, “What are you doing here?” in the most passive aggressive tone he’d used in a while.

Wiping your hands off, you walked to the door to see who was standing there, just in time to hear her tell him, “Dad tried to set up some arranged marriage bullshit and I told him no, so he threw me out of the company.”

Rafe’s mouth was hanging wide open. You weren’t entirely sure how she’d gotten here, neither of you had ever shared with her or his parents where you were living. Rafe came to the conclusion at the same time you did and he sighed, “Wheezie.”

“Don’t be mad at her, I just didn’t know where to go.”

“Not fucking here,” Rafe told her, preparing to slam the door.

You stepped forward before he could, pressing on his chest to push him backwards, away from the door, “Let’s go to our room and talk about this, yeah?” Before tossing over your shoulder at Sarah, “Come on in, we have a guest bedroom over to the left.”

Rafe was tense, pacing, when you finally made it to your room and shut the door. You sat down on the bed and watched him for a few seconds before finally speaking up, “Talk to me, Cameron.”

“I thought,” he paused, “I thought we could have this distant relationship where we could be friendly but not friends. She’s infringing here, I don’t like it.”

You patted the spot next to you for him to sit, and wrapped an arm around his shoulders when he did, “Well, sometimes shit happens.”

Rafe huffed out a laugh and rested his head on top of yours, “What if I don’t want shit to happen.”

“What’s life without a few mix-ups?” you asked, shrugging.

He groaned, “I’m gonna have to let her stay, aren’t I?”

“It would be nice of you, for at least the short term while she gets back on her feet. I’m sure you know how it feels to be on your dad’s bad side.”

“Can we at least charge her rent?”

You snorted and pinched his bicep, “No, you may not. That’s your sister.”

“You’re going to regret that down the line, bud, when we’ve got a freeloader that we can’t get rid of.”

“Right, we’ll come back to this in a few months.”

Rafe put both of his hands on his knees and pushed himself up with a sigh, “Fine, I’ll go let her know she can stay.”

“Proud of you,” you called after him, laughing when his response was to flip you off.

I don’t know who we’ll become / I can promise it’s not written in the stars / but I believe that when it’s done / we’re gonna see that it was better / that we grew up together

Rafe proposed on your seven-year anniversary. You had an idea that it was coming, but you weren’t sure when. Admittedly, you were a little disappointed when it wasn’t during dinner or when the two of you stopped to watch the sunset in an abandoned parking lot.

In fact, he waited until the two of you were back in your apartment. You were both in the bathroom, getting ready for bed, you sitting on the counter facing him, him brushing his teeth and you putting on moisturizer. He was already shirtless and you were wearing one of your old college t-shirts, and both of you were in your most vulnerable states.

Rafe grabbed your foot when you tried to kick him and shook it gently, drawing a laugh out of you. You pinched his side in retaliation and he made a noise, arching out of your grip. After spitting and wiping his face, he grinned up at you, “Such a menace.”

“You love me,” you responded, confidently.

He brushed a strand of hair out of your eyes and smiled down at you softly, “Marry me.”

Your mouth fell open, “What?”

“Marry me. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

“I’m sorry is that a question or a demand?”

He rolled his eyes playfully and poked your side, “It’s a question, sweetheart, will you marry me?”

You gripped his shoulders pulling him closer, “Before I say yes, you couldn’t have asked me earlier tonight?”

Rafe blushed a little, “It never felt right. This feels right.”

And you couldn’t not kiss him for that. Both of you smiled into the kiss and he kept it short, pulling away to grab the ring he’d carefully picked out several months before. You couldn’t help but tear up as he slid it on your finger.

“Perfect,” he whispered, lacing your fingers together. One of his thumbs stroked over the ring band as you wiped your nose with your other hand.

“That was actually pretty soft, Cameron.”

“Only for you,” he told you, pressing a kiss to your cheek before helping you off the counter to go to bed.

You cuddled up to his chest when he flicked the light off and ruffled his hair, “Better be.”

You don’t ever have to leave / if to change is what you need / you can change right next to me

Rafe suggested dance lessons for your wedding. He said, “Babe, we can’t be just spinning in circles, that’s lame.” It reminded him of all the Midsummers he had to attend and that was unpleasant.

And you were on board for that, an actual dance seemed fun. The instructor you found loved your song and was super friendly, helping the two of you put something really personal together. Lessons were fun, but practicing on your own at home was more fun.

Both of you had two left feet and were constantly tripping over each other and stepping on each other’s feet. Several times he had you stand on top of his because, “I know better and at least this way you can’t step on my feet unexpectedly when you’re already on them.”

You shoved his chest, “Don’t be a dick.”

He laughed and kissed you, ending the playful argument.

You can ebb and I can flow / and we’ll take it slow / and grow as we go

It was all worth it in the end.

[tamakiamajikistentacles]

In The Quiet {Eijirou Kirishima}

A/N: Please be sure to reblog, comment, review, and like if you enjoy! Feedback is what keeps me motivated! Apologies if there are a few inconsistencies with the movie, I haven’t seen it since its opening night back in February! This was mostly written as a self-indulgent piece because I’ve been super stressed and anxious lately, and I think sometimes just saying you’re afraid is a big step.

She took a deep breath and focused on the mushroom in her shaking palm. It was the last one, she reminded herself. One last mushroom for the miso that would be served to the island’s residents in the morning. They’d long since retired to bed and the class had formulated a plan for the next day, but she’d felt there was more work to be done.

The mushroom began to split apart like an optical illusion with a mirror, blooming left and right as it peeled untouched in opposite directions. In less than a minute there were two identical mushrooms in her hand and her vision was beginning to blur.

“You didn’t need to make thirty extra,” the voice of Sato chided gently as her eyes closed to stop the dizziness.

“N-no, s’better that I did,” she breathed. “That’ll make five extra pots of soup in the morning s-so there won’ be a need to ration as m-much.”

He frowned. “You overworked yourself pretty badly; you need rest for tomorrow.”

“S’okay,” she said with a shake of her head, grimacing when she realized how much worse it made her feel. “Gotta make sure th’ plan’s ready, war room’s waitin’.”

She dropped the mushrooms into the small crate she’d been filling for the last forty minutes or so and stumbled to the doorway, Sato following closely. Out in the hallway she braced her hand against the cool metal and slowly trekked to the small office room they had all met in earlier in the night as the storm outside had raged. The thunder and lightning had dissipated, but the tense atmosphere hadn’t.

When she reached the room she slumped in the doorway, all eyes of the few lingering classmates turning to her as Sato steadied her with a hand on her shoulder.

“Sero? Ur’aka? Wanna talk?”

The two exchanged a look before waving her over, then thinking better of it when she took a shaky step, went to her.

Kirishima watched them go to his girlfriend, brows furrowed in concern as he half listened to Iida go over their team’s plan for the seventh time. She looked pale and sick, her body trembling enough that he could see it from across the room. He could tell that she’d massively overdone it with her quirk and was likely on the verge of passing out.

“Hey uh, Kirishima?”

He snapped from his thoughts to see Sato in front of him apologizing to Iida, Todoroki, and Tsu for taking him aside. They didn’t fight it, knowing he wasn’t going to be able to focus with her looking the way she did.

“What happened?” he asked as they stepped away.

Sato sighed. “I found her in the kitchen multiplying food for the morning. She made enough for at least five extra pots of miso which is easily thirty-five or forty more portions because she thought it would help not to ration as much since the residents are gonna be in for a long day too.”

He closed his eyes and blew out a breath. Part of him wanted to be mad that she’d pushed herself far past what she knew her limit was, but the much larger part of him knew that he would’ve done the exact same thing if he could. Being a hero meant helping others and going Plus Ultra to do it.

Opening his eyes he gave Sato a weak smile. “Thanks for telling me, man. I’ll… I’ll make sure she gets some rest.”

They bid each other goodnight and he walked to where she stood with Sero and Uraraka discussing their roles for the next day in slurred syllables strung together with a tired tongue. Their classmates watched her warily, ready to catch her if she collapsed.

He slipped an arm around her waist and her body sagged against his in recognition, bleary eyes glancing up to meet his with a lopsided smile sliding across her lips.

“Hey, you two mind if I steal her?” he asked.

Sero shook his head. “No worries, I think we’re good for tomorrow. Have a good night, yeah?”

Uraraka smiled and quietly joined Midoriya at the table where the island’s map was still spread out with scribbled plans marking the canvas.

Not wanting as many eyes on them, Kirishima dropped his arm from her shoulders to place his hand on the small of her back and steered her back into the hallway so they could talk privately. Once they were a few meters away from the office he began to speak with cautious words.

“Sato said you multiplied a bunch more ingredients for the morning.”

“Mhm.”

“You had the energy to do that after multiplying what we had to make dinner?”

Her head lolled from side to side. “Don’t want anyone goin’ hungry.”

“Your heart’s too big sometimes,” he chuckled fondly.

“One’a talk, aren’t ya?” she replied.

“Yeah, I guess so,” he admitted. “The fact that Todoroki and I are taking the next shift to watch the villain we captured and stand guard probably doesn’t help my case. I should actually go back in and grab him, we have to meet Mina and Shoji downstairs soon. You should head to bed.”

She blinked. “No, ‘m waiting for you.”

“You need rest to get your energy back up for the morning,” he said quietly, feeling her slump against him. “C’mon, I’ll take you up to the room you girls are sharing before I go on shift.”

She shook her head. “I’ll wait up w’ you, s’only an hour. Then we’ll sleep.”

“No, you’re dead on your feet,” he replied. “Plus I can’t stay anyway, I don’t wanna make the others feel awkward being in the room with all of you. Look on the bright side, it’s only one night.”

“But it migh’ be the last one.”

He froze, her words sending an uncomfortable shiver down his spine.

It… could be the last night, couldn’t it? He’d brushed off one night spent apart, not even considering there was a possibility they wouldn’t reconvene for the next. Was he spoiled with the routine of having her pressed against him beneath the blankets that he couldn’t fathom it never happening again?

Working as heroes in training while so young made them walk such a fine line in so many aspects of their lives. On one hand he knew how dangerous their current situation was with the lack of Pro’s to back them up and that there was a very real and high likelihood that injuries were going to happen. On the other, he wholeheartedly expected them to be okay, to be able to return to classes and the dorms and their routines.

He expected to be alive twenty-four hours from now.

But she was right, it was a possibility that one of them or even both of them wouldn’t be.

Swallowing the lump in his throat, he tried to figure out the right thing to say. “I… we sh—”

“I jus’ wanna be close to you,” she said tearfully. “I can pr-pretend s’okay if you’re wi’ me.”

“Believe me, I want to be close to you too!” he said desperately. “But I have a patrol with Todoroki in a few minutes and you need to sleep, baby. You’re practically asleep standing here and-and even though I don’t want to sleep apart either, there’s not much we can do.”

“Can’t do this righ’ now.”

He could see the gathering shine on her lash line and felt utterly helpless as she pushed past him to reenter the office once again. He tilted his head back with a deep sigh and pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes. The stress of the day had already had a headache forming but the last ten minutes had amplified it.

“Hey.”

The gruff voice from his right made him jump, dropping his hands to turn and face Bakugo who was leaned against the wall. Despite the unimpressed look on his face, Kirishima could tell he’d heard the end of their conversation at the very least.

“She looks like shit.”

“She’s exhausted. Sato told me she multiplied enough food for at least thirty or forty extra portions to serve the islanders tomorrow.”

Bakugo rolled his eyes. “Of course she did; wouldn’t be your fuckin’ girlfriend if she wasn’t pulling some selfless shit.”

He frowned. “Do you have to be so rude just because she wants to help? Especially when we’re all on edge? C’mon, man. It’s bad enough I can’t be with her tonight when she’s not feeling her best on top of every other damn thing going on, so can you just stop?”

Bakugo stayed silent and his glare was steady. He wasn’t angry, not at Kirishima or his girlfriend but the entire goddamn shitshow situation this work assignment had morphed into. It felt like eons had gone by since he had been shyly asked for the millionth time if he was sure it was fine for her to come to their room at the lodge and share the bed with her boyfriend. He didn’t care—it wasn’t like either of them had the courage to screw around when he was barely a meter away—but he did notice how much better his best friend slept when she was tucked under his arm.

Between that fact and the easy assumption that she was probably the same way, he made up his mind.

“I’ll take your shift. Go to the office two doors down from the girls’ room, you’ll find a futon where you two can sleep.”

Kirishima’s brows furrowed. “What are you talking about? You’re still hurt and why would there even be a futon in—”

“I wasn’t gonna sleep half on top of the rest of you assholes like we did at training camp so I found myself my own room but if she needs you, take it. And it doesn’t fuckin’ matter if I’m hurt, heroes push past pain to get shit done.”

“But where will you sleep if we take that room? I’m grateful for the offer but I don’t want us to take away the rest you need.”

Bakugo sighed in frustration. “The couch in the meeting room probably pulls out, its fine, now just go to her, fuck!”

He wouldn’t say it aloud, but he had heard her sleepy slur of how it may be their last night together and the heart everyone assumed was made of stone broke just a bit. Like hell was anyone dying if he had anything to say about it, least of all those two, but if she was worried it wouldn’t help her mental state in the fight that was waiting for them at daybreak. He wanted her sharp, that was the biggest reason for his generosity. It certainly outweighed the fact that his best friend and his girlfriend were disgustingly important to him and he wanted them happy.

“Thanks, Bakugo,” Kirishima said softly. “I really appreciate this.”

The blonde turned away and crossed his arms, ignoring the urge to wince. “Don’t read into it.”

Before anything else could be said he was trudging down the hallway and around the corner to the stairwell. For all his yelling and generally poor attitude he could be kind when he felt the people closest to him needed it most, but he’d be damned if he stuck around for more than a single word of thanks.

With a shake of his head Kirishima turned back to the office and walked in to find Uraraka sitting beside her on the small couch where Yaoyorozu had laid earlier in the night. Eyes red from exhaustion and what looked like a few tears blinked up at him blearily.

“Hey,” he greeted softly, thumbs brushing away the half-dried tear tracks. “Got a little surprise for ya.”

She cocked her head to the side but didn’t object, standing up on wobbly legs with a supportive hand on her lower back from Uraraka. He draped an arm over her shoulders and pulled her close to his side, throwing a grateful glance in the other girl’s direction.

“Thank you for sitting with her.”

Uraraka smiled sadly. “Take care of her, Kirishima.”

He nodded, a tiny grin allowing the tip of one pointed tooth to peek out.

She waved them off as she went back to Midoriya, and he set out towards the opposite staircase that Bakugo had taken with her by his side. He half carried her up the dozen or so stairs before they had another expanse of hallway to walk, her weight nothing when she had to lean on him.

“Where we goin’?”

He smiled. “Bakugo got us a private room.”

Humming in confusion or acknowledgement—he wasn’t sure which—she closed her eyes, cheek pressed firmly against his bicep as he led her past the office the girls were going to share for the night. Stopping two rooms down just as he’d been told, Kirishima pushed the door open to see filing cabinets against the far wall and a desk that had been pushed to the side to accommodate the futon in the middle of the room.

Shuffling her in his arms, he lightly kicked the door closed behind them and put them into semi-darkness as he moved them farther into the room. He let her lean back against the desk as he removed her utility belt, boots, and the bulkier vest of her hero costume, then removed his own accessories, both his headpiece and shoulder gears set onto the desk next to her belt and vest, boots tossed aside with her smaller ones.

“Time to get some sleep,” he murmured, guiding her to lie down on the futon. The limited light from the corridor through the paneled window of the office door cast dull shadows over them both.

She curled up on her right side almost immediately, her body drawn to the far side so that he had a perfect space to slot himself behind her. It was as if they were back at the lodge in his and Bakugo’s room, taking their places for the night to rest for the long day ahead. That part, at least, was still true.

The morning would bring the difference. There wouldn’t be time to wake up slowly like they liked, blankets cocooned around them and their legs entangled, lazy kisses and easy conversation shared. There would be redressing in their gear then parting to take their positions with Kirishima going to the forest and her to the open fields.

He tried desperately to push the thought of being apart from her out of his head but its claws dug in deep, hanging onto him like a heavy weight. It made him scramble to his place on the futon and pull her back against his chest, their breathing synching to match her slower, more even breaths as it helped him focus on warding off the panic attack looming.

In the quiet of the night it was always hard to chase away the fear and worries he held, and on this night it was so much worse. The dark thoughts intermingled with all of the things he loved about her, teetering him on the edge of what felt like insanity.

Her eyes were beautifully determined when she fought and he hoped with everything he had that he would be able to see that look in her eyes again in the future when they fought together as Pro’s and not as the permanent set of her gaze from a twisted and broken body unmoving at the peninsula’s entrance. Would he be able to look into lifeless eyes even if they were the same ones that would’ve once looked at him so fondly?

She had always hugged him close with arms far stronger than they looked and they made him feel safe and confident and cared for. He always prayed that she felt the same when his encircled her waist and pulled her close but tomorrow he wouldn’t be with her and she would be so far from him and those strong arms of hers might not be strong enough to withstand the force of Nine. What if they snapped, bone splintering through her skin?

There was a brightness in her smile that set his heart on fire and grew even more blindingly beautiful the closer they became to one another both as friends and partners. He desperately needed to see that brightness continue its growth as their relationship grew—how it would look the first time they exchanged I love you’s or the first time they were intimate. How… how would he live if he never saw it again?

Somehow she cared enough to be with him despite his insecurities and low class ranking and weird group of friends, so if it was him who fell in battle the next day, she would be devastated. Could he expect her to stay strong if she survived only for Iida or Todoroki to show her his battered body and apologize for bringing the news of his death?

In the stillness of the office, he shuddered. The worries would surely plague him until the exhaustion won out and follow him to his dreams, nightmarish possibilities knowing no bounds. It didn’t matter, he had to remind himself. He would rise with the sun and fight regardless. He wasn’t a hero fully recognized by Japan, but he would be a hero tomorrow when he would stand by his classmates to keep the island residents safe. His resolve was more solid than his quirk.

Kirishima tightened his hold around her waist and breathed in deeply.

“’M afraid, Eijirou,” she whispered.

He bit his lip. “So am I.”

A/N: Please be sure to reblog, comment, review, and like if you enjoy! Feedback is what keeps me motivated!

[glasswingsndreamz]

Jealousy Only Breeds More Jealousy (3)

Fandom: The Outer Worlds

Pairing: Felix Millstone x Reader

AO3 Link

Chapter Summary: To Felix's disbelief, you go through with your little 'date'.

“Wait, so you’re telling me that the captain is out on a date?” Parvati asked, glancing in Felix’s direction. There was a look of surprise on her face, as if she couldn’t believe what she was hearing.

“You heard me. That’s why they left a little earlier,” Nyoka said.

“That does explain why they were so nervous lookin’. Oh I hope they’re alright,” Parvati said, brows scrunching in concern.

“I can’t believe they’re actually going through with it. I thought it was a joke,” Felix joined in the conversation. Both of the women glanced at each other, sharing a knowing look before returning their attention to their fellow companion. His tone of voice did nothing to hide his displeasure.

“I thought they’d be going out with you. I didn’t know they were on a date with a stranger instead,” Parvati said.

“Huh?”

“Oh! Nothing- I just thought…. Oh well it’s nothing. Just forget I said anything,” Parvati said, shooting up from her chair. “Would you look at that, I just remembered I needed to be fixing up something on the ship,” she said, exiting the dining room before Felix could question her further. He only leaned back in his chair, feeling even more confused than before.

“I don’t know why you’re so upset. He’s kind of cute. Besides, the captain really needed to get laid. I’m sure they could use a good fuck after all the shit they’ve been dealing with lately. I mean it’s been like, what? Over seventy years since they’ve been at it with someone, technically, if they have at all. I know for a fact they haven’t had the chance to fuck around with how busy they are,” Nyoka said with a shrug. “I’m happy for the captain. They deserve a break.”

Felix was momentarily taken aback by her words.

“You don’t think they’ll actually do anything, do you?” he asked, sounding uncharacteristically quiet.

Nyoka snorted, taking another swig from her drink. “I sure hope they do.”

Felix slammed his hands on the table, shooting up in a panic and nearly making Nyoka spill her drink on the table.

“But what if he’s actually a bad guy, pretending to need help to make the boss trust him? I bet he was hoping they’d agree to go out on a date with him so he could get closer and attack them without us to back them up. It’s all going according to his plan,” Felix spoke more to himself than his companion. “Shit, Nyoka, we need to find them now before it’s too late!”

“Are you serious right now? You gotta calm down. Don’t forget, I’m the one who suggested they go on a date in the first place,” she reminded him.

“Maybe…. Or maybe that’s just what he wants us to think! It’s all part of his evil plan and he was just manipulating you. We better head out before anything happens-”

“Look- Felix,” she interrupted as he stood up, more than ready to run to your rescue. “Are you really worried about them or are you just making excuses because you might actually be jealous and want to ruin their date?”

“Jealous?” He scoffed. “Why would I be jealous? I’m just looking out for the boss.”

She couldn’t be sure. There was no real way to know with Felix. Nyoka wasn’t sure if he’s jealous and doesn’t realize it or he’s really being this dumb right now. She desperately hoped it was the former option.

“Well, even if you were right, we don’t need to worry about them. You and I both know the captain can take care of themselves without a problem,” that was all she could think of to say. She hoped that was enough to convince him to stay out of their captain’s business because she doubted there was anything else she could come up with right now to deter him. Currently she wasn’t in the mood to be chasing after Felix to stop him from ruining your date. She’d need to be a lot drunker to deal with that.

She doesn’t get to see what happened next, instead choosing to head back to her room to get another drink from her stash.

---

Well if Nyoka wasn’t going to help him save the boss, then he’d do it himself. That’s what Felix decided as he exited the ship. He couldn’t even begin to understand how she couldn’t even be bothered to worry about you. Felix didn’t trust that Grimm guy, and there was no way in hell he was going to let the bastard hurt you! Not on Felix Millstone’s watch. Well, and Parvati’s watch too. At least she seemed to care about your wellbeing. She had even insisted that she come too, but Felix wasn’t complaining. It never hurt to have back up in cases like these, or have someone to watch him beat up the bad guy.

Honestly he really tried to wait it out. He barely lasted half an hour before he couldn’t take it anymore. He wanted to have faith in your abilities, he did believe in you, of course! However, the sight of your tear stained cheeks kept showing up in his mind, reminding him that you were more vulnerable than he thought. That reminder is what eventually made him cave in and follow his instincts.

“Felix, do you even know where they went for their date?” Parvati asked, following behind.

No, no he did not.

“Well… Not exactly? I mean,they talked about going to a bar. There’s like two bars here so it shouldn’t be too hard to find them,” Felix admitted.

“Are you really sure we should be doing this? Don’t you think our captain might be upset with us for spying on their date?” Parvati asked, sounding slightly anxious. Although she didn’t entirely want to get involved with the situation, she didn’t want to think about how your date might escalate if Felix got involved. If you really were getting over your feelings for your crew member then she didn’t think it was best for Felix to interrupt. Of course he had only the best intentions for you. He looked up to you more than anyone and he always followed you around like a lost puppy. Personally Parvati found it adorable, but it did make her wonder why you were the one who seemed to be head over heels for him instead.

“We’re not actually spying on the boss. We’re just making sure nothing goes wrong. You never know what might happen. What if some marauders sneak in and decide to go berserk? Whatever happens, we’ll be ready for it.”

That only made her grow more suspicious. She hadn’t meant to do it on purpose, overhearing Nyoka and Felix’s conversation after she left. Okay so maybe she was trying to look out for her friends, but she didn’t mean anything bad by it, honest! It seemed odd for him to come up with a different reason to protect you, especially when he had been so persistent that Grimm was such a bad guy.

It didn’t change that there was no turning back now. Felix was too riled up that Parvati was convinced there was nothing she could say that would make him back down from this frightening plan. She’d do her best to keep things from going in a bad direction.

With how bright the streetlights were, it would be a little difficult to blend in with the shadows. Felix mentally cursed at himself for not thinking of bringing disguises. Stupid! It was too late to head back to the ship now. They were close enough to the bar near the landing pad and where Grimm was stationed near. That was probably a good spot to check out.

It turned out to be a good choice, as he quickly caught sight of you through the window. His eyes narrowed when he saw Grimm.

“Look at that bastard. He even looks like he’s up to no good. What good guy wears an eyepatch?”

“Felix, I don’t think it’s really fair of you to judge someone based on how the way they look,” Parvati scolded him. She stood to the side of him, far enough away that no one would get a peek at her if anyone paid attention to the window.

“Shit, they’re getting up! We have to hide,” Felix warned, pushing Parvati so they were right around the corner of the building.

“Thanks again for tonight. I really appreciate it,” they could hear you say.

“It was the least I could do after all the trouble I put you through,” Grimm said in response. There was a moment of silence before he spoke up again. “Let me walk you back to the lift- I mean if that’s alright with you!” he laughed nervously.

“Thanks.”

Both crew members peered around the corner, just enough that they could get a peek at what was going on. Cautiously the two followed behind, staying far enough away that they wouldn’t be spotted.

“See, nothing bad happened. There was nothing to worry about,” Parvati whispered as they arrived in front of the lift that lead to the landing platform. Felix remained silent, watching the couple with suspicion.

“Why aren’t they getting on the lift? They’re just standing there, talking. Do you think he might be threatening them?” Felix asked, eyes narrowed.

“Maybe they’re just- Oh…” Parvati cut herself off when Grimm leaned in to peck you on the lips. Quickly she looked away, feeling guilty for intruding on such a private moment. It was then that she noticed how tense Felix was.

“This is wrong. We shouldn’t be watching this,” she muttered quietly, tugging on his jacket as she attempted to pull him away from the sight. The look on his face nearly broke her heart.

It looked like she and Nyoka might have been wrong after all.

Without another word Felix slipped past her, heading right into the bar he had been scoping out not even ten minutes ago. Biting her lip, Parvati looked back towards the captain only to see Grimm heading her way and the lift rising up with you on it. Trying her best not to bring attention to herself, Parvati followed Felix into the bar.

“Can I get a drink over here?”

Parvati cringed at the defeated sound of his voice as she sat beside him on a stool at the bar.

“I’m sorry Felix…”

Words weren’t coming easily. It was hard what to know what to say in these kinds of situations. She didn’t know how their captain managed to handle all kinds of situations. You’d know exactly how to cheer him up. Too bad you were the reason Felix was so heartbroken in the first place.

“What are you sorry for?”

“You really like the captain, don’t you?”

Felix didn’t answer, instead chugging the drink the bartender set in front of him.

“But we all thought you had a thing for Nell instead.”

That got a response, Felix nearly choking in the middle of his drink.

“Nell? I mean she’s pretty cool and all, but she’s nothing like our captain. It’s nice to talk about Tossball with someone else who gets it, but the boss is something else. They’re strong and kind and always doing what’s right. I don’t think I’ve ever trusted anyone else as much as I trust them. They even took me into the crew and I didn’t even have to do an interview or anything. They accepted me with no questions. There’s no one better than the boss... No offense,” he said.

“None taken. I understand Felix. The captain’s done a whole lot for me too. If it wasn’t for them I’d still be back in Edgewater and I never would have met Junlei. I owe them a great deal too,” Parvati nodded in understanding. “I didn’t know you had feelings for them. I thought it was all pure admiration like the rest of us feels for them.”

“Of course I admire them! They have all of my respect.”

“Then why didn’t you confess?” Parvati asked, wondering if the whole situation could have been avoided in the first place if one of you had been honest about your feelings. However, she couldn’t really blame either of them, not when she didn’t have the courage to confess her own feelings to Junlei without the captain’s encouragement and support.

“I don’t know if you know this about me, but sometimes I screw things up real bad. The boss has done so much for me. I don’t want to screw that up. What if they kick me out? There’s not really any place I could go. The Unreliable is my home now,” he confessed.

“Oh Felix, they would never do that to you! You’re part of the crew. We’re like a family. I doubt the captain would be forcing you out if you confessed to them. You know how understanding’ they are.”

“I guess it doesn’t really matter now anyway. I missed my chance,” Felix sighed and took another drink from his beer.

“Not necessarily…”

“Huh? What are you talking about? We just saw them kiss.”

Well she wasn’t entirely sure how to dispute that. Sure it was true, but she at least had some insight on what was really happening behind the scenes. The only problem was that it wasn’t really her place to share the captain’s feelings. That would be up to you. Felix probably wouldn’t even believe it unless it came directly from your mouth.

“It’s only a first date, and you know how nice the captain is. They probably didn’t want to let Grimm down. I can’t imagine it being so serious with how little they’ve interacted. I’m sure you mean a whole lot more to the captain than Grimm does.”

“Thanks Parvati, it almost sounds true when it’s coming from you.”

For now she would have to figure out another way to get you two to confess to each other. At least she hoped you still had feelings for Felix or this was not going to be a fun ordeal.

---

He spent longer than he probably should have at the bar. It took a lot of convincing to eventually persuade Parvati that he was alright and that he’d make it home okay. It was getting late and she looked a lot more tired than she was letting on. Felix didn’t have plans to head home anytime soon. Right now he needed some time to clear his head and figure out where to go from here.

In the end he found himself at the sports bar after finishing his fourth drink.

Nell was kind enough to spend her break listening to him talk about his problems.

“I just wish I knew what to do, y’know? Do you think they might be interested in me if I kick Grimm’s ass? I could totally do it too. He wouldn’t stand a chance against me,” he continued to ramble on.

“I think there’s something I could do to help,” Nell said, leaning in closer.

“Yeah? What’s that?” he asked, genuinely curious about her suggestion. At least he was until she pressed her lips against his.

That only confused him more.

“I don’t get it. How is that supposed to help me?” Felix asked after pulling away.

“I was thinking you could make them jealous. It would at least get their attention,” Nell explained, slightly disconcerted by his reaction or lack of one really.

“Nah, that sounds like a dumb plan. I doubt it would work. Anyways, thanks for listening, I appreciate it. Have fun watching the games tonight,” he said before waving goodbye. He didn’t even bother to look back as he stumbled towards home.

[just-for-cal]

She’s Jealous - [c.h]

word count: 2885 warnings: swearing summary: (y/n) reads some thirst tweets and gets a bit frustrated

(y/n) loved Calum, she always did and it’s likely that she always will.  Especially when she never plans to never act on these feelings.

So it felt unfair to her that she was getting so upset scrolling through Twitter.  Dozens upon dozens of fans thirsting over him.  The other boys too, but she only had narrowed eyes at the comments directed towards Calum.

“Whatcha lookin’ at?” Luke threw himself over the back of the sofa she was sat on, scooting close to her and looking onto her phone.  

The first thing he saw being an all caps message about Ashton’s arms, and something about choking.

“Jesus love, into Ash now are we?” He chuckled, but (y/n) glared at him.  “Alright, not in the mood for funny” Luke muttered to himself.

“Have you seen all these?” She asked him in a quiet voice, eyes still trained on her phone as she scrolled.

“Thirst tweets? I look sometimes, some of them are kinda funny”

(y/n) simply hummed, clearly that wasn’t the answer she was looking for.

“What’s got you all worked up? I thought you’d be agreeing with some of ‘em” Luke jabbed (y/n’s) side with his elbow, and she tried to force a smile, but her nerves seeped through.

“Everyone’s just so… so into him,” She explained, and before she could keep reading, Luke took her phone, and closed the app.  “I feel like maybe it diminishes my chances even further”

“Your chances? Please, (y/n/n), you’ve got the biggest head start of all chances, it’s less of a chance more of a, eh, hundred percent guarantee”

The girl just rolled her eyes at Luke’s words.  He always tried to convince her of how he thought Calum returned her feelings, but she never felt that way.  He always seemed glued to their platonic relationship, so she never acted on the feelings she’d harbored for so long.

“I’m not kiddin’ babe,” Luke told her.  “Ya should hear what he says about you when you’re not around, he loves to talk about you”

(y/n) blushed, but she still shook her head and took her phone back from his hands.

“Thanks, Luke,” She sighed, and smoothed out her skirt before standing.  “Are you coming out tonight?”

“Yeah I’ll tag along,” He said and stood up with her, outstretching his arms.  (y/n) chuckled quietly, stepping into his arms and letting him hug her tight.  “Besides, I'm already all done up, can’t cancel now”

She was laughing when she pulled away, smiling to see he has in fact put on a shimmery eyeshadow to change up his usual leather jacket and jeans look.  Even going so far as to put on his heeled boots.

When she looked away, Calum was coming down the stairs, but he stopped at the bottom and just stared at her.  He looked frozen, lips parted, eyes set on her.  (y/n) crinkled her brows as though to silently ask if he was alright.  

“Wow,” He mumbled, finally walking over to her and his best friend.  She still looked confused.  “You look amazin’ sunshine”

“Oh,” She chuckled nervously, ducking her head down and pushing her hair behind her ear.  Luke rolled his eyes and left the room, unable to handle all the pent up tension that had filled it.  “You had me worried there for a sec”

Calum grinned at her, this girl he’d had in his life now for a few years and couldn’t ever get a long enough look at.  She was blushing under his gaze, and it only made him smile more.

“You ready for dinner?” He asked, and she nodded, letting him guide her to the front door.

Luke was there waiting, looking at his phone and chuckling to himself.  Mike and Ashton were planning to meet them at the restaurant, and we’re probably already there.

“What’s so funny?” Calum asked, and Luke showed him he was on Twitter.

“These thirst tweets about you, they're hilarious”

Calum blinked in surprise, not having expected that response, at all, and looked to (y/n) with raised brows before back at Luke.

“Why...?”

“Cause she was lookin’ at ‘em earlier, and I wanted to know what the big deal was.  These are great!”

Calum looked at (y/n) again, a smirk on his lips to know that she’d read thirst tweets about him.  But before he could make a cocky comment, Luke spoke up again.

“(y/n/n) you’re in this one,” Luke snickered as he read one, and then proceeded to read it out loud.  “It’s a retweet of a pic of Calum, zoomed in on his thighs, and it says ‘@(your handle) sure is one lucky chick, i bet @CalumHood lets her ride his thighs whenever she wants’ can you believe that?”

If she hadn’t been blushing before, she certainly was now.

Luke was laughing his ass off, all the while (y/n) avoided looking directly at Calum, who was staring at her.

“Alright, on that note, let's get going,” Cal suggested, letting Luke out so he could walk with (y/n), his hand resting on the small of her back.  When she looked up at him, he leaned a bit closer.  “We’ll talk about why you were reading thirst tweets about me later” He told her quietly.

(y/n) winced.

Dinner went by well, besides the fact that Calum had his arm slung around the booth behind (y/n’s) shoulder, his fingertips grazing her shoulder every now and then.  But no one said anything about it.

“So, (y/n/n), you comin’ back to the house after dinner?” Ash asked.  She began to shake her head, but Calum spoke up for her.

“Yeah, we’re all gonna chill back at the house,” He said, his hand caressing softly over her shoulder now.  “Probably watch a movie or something if that sounds good to you guys?”

“Yeah that sounds great” Ashton agreed.

While the other boys proceeded out of the booth to head to the car, (y/n) shot Calum a look.

“What are you doing? I can’t hang out tonight, I have class in the morning, that’s why we did dinner instead-“

“That’s really too bad, love, because you and I need to have a bit of a talk, don’t we?”

She raised her brows at his bold comment, but didn’t argue with him again.  Simply followed next to him out of the restaurant.

She continued to stare at him, waiting for him to give her some sort of sign of what was going on in his head.  Clearly something had happened, but he wasn’t budging at all.  The only sliver of a sign he offered was pulling her in close to him when they got in the back of Luke’s car.  Which only made (y/n) more anxious for answers, because it was now obvious to Luke that something was up.

Ash and Mike were already at the house when Luke pulled in, and everyone went in together, deciding on drinks and just hanging out and chatting.  (y/n) didn’t understand why Calum needed her to stick around for this, but she wasn’t going to question him in front of everyone.

She was sat curled up on one end of the sofa, and surprisingly, it was Ashton next to her, not Calum.  And Luke on the other side of Ashton.

Calum was in his own seat in a recliner, sat upright and solid, completely isolated from the group.  Michael was also sat alone in a similar chair, but still made the effort to join in on the laughter and conversation.

At this point, (y/n) was not only confused, but a little pissed off.

She took a long swig of her beer, gave Calum a pointed look, and then excused herself to the kitchen for another drink.  Where she waited for him to show up just seconds later.

“You alright love?” He asked as he strolled into the kitchen, words sweet, but voice cocky.  (y/n) crossed her arms as she leaned back against the counter.

“What the hell is up with you? You drag me back here with the guys because you need to talk to me, and then ignore me, when you know I shouldn’t even be here in the first place-”

“Babe,” Calum cut off her irritated rambling, and she gawked a bit at the pet name, but before she could continue, he took a large stride forward, practically caging her in against the kitchen counter.  “Why are you so upset?” He asked, feigning concern as he leaned in even closer to her.  His lips brushed the shell of her ear as he spoke again, hands on either side of her on the counter, now actually keeping her their against him.  “Why are you so tense, angel?”

(y/n) pushed herself further back into the counter, trying to put some space between their bodies as their eyes met again.  There was a coy smirk on his lips, telling her he knew exactly what he was doing, messing with her like this.

“Was it all those tweets you were reading, babe?” He asked, and she liked her lips, suddenly they felt very dry.  Calum chuckled as he caught the action.  “I knew it”

“What do you think you’re doing?” She asked him breathlessly.

“Didn’t you want to have that talk now? That is why you wanted me to follow you in here isn’t it?” Calum asked, and the irritation in her eyes dissipated into something else he recognized all too well, just not so much on her.  

Lust.

“Did all those thirst tweets from random girls make you a bit jealous baby?” He cooed, hands finding her hips and sliding just a bit under the hem of her shirt, just enough to run the rough pads of his fingers over her skin.  He cocked an eyebrow at her, telling her he was impatient for her answer.

“Maybe,” She murmured out, unable to find her voice due to his distracting touch.  “Just a little bit”

“Really?” Calum chuckled, letting one of his hands trail from her waist to cup just under her jaw, pulling her in closer.  He was leaning over considerably by reason of their height difference.  “I can tell when you lie (y/n), we’ve been friends for years” His ring clad fingers ran delicately down her throat.

When he leaned forward, her eyes fell shut, and a chill ran down her spine as his lips brushed over hers.  It almost seemed unintentional, but (y/n) knew full well that Calum was in absolute control of what he was doing.

“We should get back to our friends before they come looking for us” Calum practically muttered into her mouth, stepping back a bit to leave the room.

Before he could, her small hands grasped the collar of his leather jacket, pulling him back in against her and connecting their lips in a desperate and passionate kiss.  Like her life depended on it, she’d never thought twice about kissing him, she just knew that she needed to before he could leave.

Calum reacted immediately, kissing her back with fervor, his hands setting back on her hips so he could lift her up and set her on the counter.  Her skirt rode up a bit, but she didn’t have a care about it.  Their kiss broke for a moment as she readjusted to be comfortable, but he didn’t let her do much before tugging her right back into his chest, neck craning down to meet her lips again in a fiery kiss.  She tasted of alcohol and her strawberry chapstick and he was addicted to it upon contact, each kiss more desperate than the last, until she was panting against him in silent plea for more.

“Cal,” She murmured his name out softly as he hiked her legs up his hips, so that he could run his hands under her bare thighs and hold her securely against him.  He trailed a few kisses along her jaw, making her tilt her head back in bliss.

He pulled away, eyes flickering over her features and taking a moment to fully appreciate her in this state.  Her eyes were shut, long lashes casting small shadows over her cheekbones.  Lips swollen and pink because of him.  She looked like a piece of art like this.

(y/n’s) eyes opened when she realized he wasn’t about to kiss her again, and a blush settled on her cheeks as she found him staring at her.  She bit down on her bottom lip to keep from smiling too wide and looking like a dork.

“What?” She murmured after he’d just stared for long enough.  Calum shook his head, smiling one of his infamously happy grins, his eyes crinkling and his teeth on display as he looked at her.

“I just love you so damn much, I don’t know why you’d ever be jealous of a stranger, angel” He murmured, a hand cupping her cheek.  She wasn’t sure how he’d gone from irresistibly sexy to adorable and sweet in a matter of seconds, but it didn’t matter, because her heart was swelling beyond maximum capacity and the smile she’d tried to hold back broke free.

“You love me?” She asked, even though he’d said to her clear as day, she needed to know that her mind wasn’t playing tricks on her right now.

“Course I do sunshine, you’re my best girl, always have been” He said, shrugging his shoulder and cocking his head to the side.  (y/n) smiled at him, her hands finally releasing their death grip on his collar to take his face in her small palms, gently guiding him down to kiss his lips softly.  Gentle, and pure, and sweet.

She kept her forehead pressed against his, her hands still holding him close even as their lips parted.

“That’s how I should’ve kissed you the first time,” She whispered to him.  “After a date, all nervous like”

Calum chuckled softly, his hands taking her own and his lips brushing the back of them both before cupping her face in his hands, and kissing her sweetly, as she did him.

“I love you too,” She murmured between small kisses.  “I love you too” She repeated, their noses bumping a bit as their lips met again in a slightly more sloppy kiss.

“Hey where’s the- woah hey!”

Calum and (y/n) pulled apart upon hearing Michael’s surprised words from what he’d walked in on.  The bassist swiftly pulled down her skirt from where it had ridden up pretty high on her thighs, and gave his friend an awkward nod of acknowledgement.

“Guys! They finally did it!” Michael hollered into the living room.

(y/n) sighed, giving Calum a bashful and apologetic look before she slid off the counter she’d been sitting on.  Luke and Ashton came rushing in, one with his arms up in cheers, and the other staring wide eyed and gawking just at the close proximity of Calum and (y/n).

“It’s February, you guys owe me twenty, I guessed the closest!” Luke hollered at the other two.

“You bet on us?” (y/n) asked.

“Luke, you guessed January, it doesn’t count ‘cause it passed.  Ash wins, he guessed May” Michael ignored (y/n’s) comment, while fumbling for his wallet to pay Ashton.

“But I was closest,” Luke argued.  “Doesn’t matter if it happened past my guess, my guess was still closest-”

“Hold on, hold on,” Calum spoke up, taking the twenty dollar bill from Michael before Ashton, or Luke, could.  “You guys are not paying each other over (y/n) and I getting together”

“We’re together?” (y/n) asked softly from next to him.

“Course we are baby,” Calum winked over at her.  “If you’ll have me, but give me a moment,” He turned back to his friends, holding up the money.  “(y/n/n’s) got classes in the morning, so we are taking this, I’m taking her home, and we’re using your money to get her breakfast for the morning”

“Fine,” Luke muttered.  “Congratulations by the way, I knew you two would crack”

“Crack?” Calum muttered, but shook his head, deciding he didn’t want much more of an explanation.  “Okay, we’re gonna head out, ready?” He asked (y/n), who nodded and took his offered hand so he’d lead her out of the house.

“Don’t forget to carry the bride over the threshold!” Luke hollered before they could be out of earshot.

Calum turned to (y/n), squeezing her hand and kissing her temple.

“When’s your last class tomorrow?” He asked, and she thought for a moment.

“I should be finished up by two,” She answered.  “Why, you free?”

He giggled, actually giggled at her response, and nodded his head.

“I say we go on that date you were talking about earlier,” He suggested, opening the passenger door of the car for her.  She hummed and got in, Cal quickly closing the door and getting in on the driver’s side.  “Well? Am I taking you out tomorrow?” He asked, and she grinned, nodding and leaning over the center console to meet his lips in a kiss.

“You sure as hell are” She agreed, and Calum grinned before kissing her again.

They should have done this long ago.

xoxo ~ jordie

[natasha-cole]

What Happens in Vegas Part 13

Rob Benedict x Reader

Chapter Summary: Reader is doing her part to play along now. She agrees to a night out with the group before another con weekend. No one expected the night to take such an unexpected turn though; and now Reader is faced with her real feelings for Rob. Regardless of how she truly feels, she’s got a habit of pretending otherwise.

Word Count: 4127

Warnings: swearing probably? fighting.

Notes: I caved and decided to give you a little something special here. But, don’t make the mistake of thinking everything is easy from here on out.

Catch Up: Part 1  Part 2  Part 3  Part 4  Part 5  Part 6  Part 7  Part 8   Part 9

Part 10  Part 11  Part 12

Reader’s POV

In an attempt to do your part in the deal that you and Rob had going on, you opted to go ahead and fly with him to Montreal for the next con. You figured it was abound to look suspicious if you continued to fly separately, especially since you were going to the same place all the time.

He had done well for the rest of the week back home following your calling him out on the fact that he had to choose the company he kept wisely. It most certainly wasn’t a jealousy thing with you; after all, you weren’t a real couple, but you were well aware of how even the tiniest thing could cause things to go very badly for both of you. You didn’t want to be the overbearing, bossy wife; but you really didn’t want him to screw this up for you. In actuality, you didn’t care what he did with his life, but you were working hard to keep a spotless image for yourself.

In all actuality, spending time with Rob wasn’t all that unpleasant. Maybe it was the fact that you were living with him for now, but the two of you were actually getting along well. There were still small spats between you, but mostly you were on the same page about most things. As you got to know him better, you sort of stopped hating him.

Your flight had been nice as you talked about how to handle the weekend coming up. Neither of you had been great about communicating in the past, but you felt that your time in L.A. together had helped with that. Now, you were able to actually map out the expectations and thoughts that you had about this situation while you would be spending yet another weekend in the fandom eye.

When you arrived in Montreal and made your way to the hotel; you didn’t even blink as Rob checked the two of you into your room. Normally, you’d be up in arms over having to share with him, but it seemed so normal at this point. You chuckled as you listened to him give the man at the front desk another fake alias; wondering why you found it hilarious this time as opposed to how offended you had been the last time.

You and Rob situated yourselves in the room and you couldn’t help but to notice the way things were no longer ridiculously awkward. You seemed to move in unison, reading each other as you claimed your spaces in the room. It was as if you had been doing this for so long, you just knew what the other was going to do.

This was far more relaxed than the last time, and you were grateful for that at least. You were pretty tired of the tenseness that had been there between the two of you, and while you still very much didn’t want to be married to him, you at least wanted for the remainder of the marriage to go smoothly.

“Drinks?” Rob asked as he stared at his phone.

“What?”

“Rich,” he began. “He sent me a text and said everyone’s going out to dinner and going for drinks after.”

“Rich is talking to you?”

“I guess so,” he shrugged. “Maybe he’s done being pissed at us.”

“I doubt it,” you chuckled. “But at least he’s making the effort to include us still.”

“What do you think?”

“Yeah, sounds good.”

“I’ll just let him know that we’ll be there,” he said as he began to text Rich back.

After a surprisingly mellow dinner with everyone; the entire group headed to a bar that was highly recommended. The idea of drinking around these people again had you a bit nervous. You only had one real experience in partying with them; and experience that didn’t end well for anyone. You figured the worst thing that could ever happen in that case was already playing out, how much worse could it get? So, you allowed yourself to get caught up in the fun of actually being friendly with everyone again. You allowed yourself to enjoy a night out, even if you were thinking about the fact that you now had a husband who was there with you.

You wondered how you were expected to act tonight since you and Rob were in close proximity. Were you expected to hang all over him the way that any new wife would? Should you be focused on sticking by his side all night? Your worries about how to act right now were eased when Ruth and Kim stole you away and insisted that you join them at the bar.

“You don’t have to be with him all night,” Kim explained. “No one is going to think anything bad just because you step away from him now and then.”

“I just need this to look real. I need people to believe that we’re in love,” you replied as you stood with her and Ruth.

“I get that. But, based on the way that he’s looking at you from across the bar; anyone who sees that will think that he’s in love with you.”

You glance his way, catching him staring at you. You gave him a half-smile and he beamed back at you, causing your stomach to flip in response. Why were you feeling like this just because he was looking at you?

Rob’s POV

He wondered how much was too much at this point. He knew that he needed to at least make it look like he was in love with her, and he assumed she was still insistent on that as well. But, he realized that he didn’t quite know what the boundaries were here. Did he just sit back and watch her adoringly? Was he supposed to be touchy feely with her, sneaking in to steal kisses like any normal newlywed couple would behave? He made a mental note to make sure they discussed this later.

He chose to stay seated and just glance over at her occasionally. It could still be believable this way, he didn’t have to be hanging all over her all night. As long as people saw them interact here and there and he made it look as if she was stealing his attention throughout the night, it could be believable.

He was in the middle of vaguely listening to Rich and Briana as they talked about something. He wasn’t even sure anymore. He was still sort of nervous over how he should be acting with Y/N at this point. He nodded as Rich directed a question at him, not even hearing what was said. He kept his eyes on Y/N who was now chatting with Ruth and Kim at the bar. If nothing else, she at least seemed happy as she talked excitedly with them; laughing and smiling enough to lead everyone in this bar to think that she really was happy.

“Earth to Rob,” Rich said, waving a hand in front of Rob’s face and breaking him from his trance on Y/N.

“Oh, hey,” Rob muttered. “What’s up?”

“I said, how are the two of you holding up?”

“Me and Y/N?”

“Yeah, you and Y/N.”

“We’re okay actually.” Rob focused on Rich and Briana now. “Actually, this whole living together thing has helped a lot I think.”

“Really?” Briana asked. “We all thought that was going to be a terrible idea.”

“Not at all. I mean, we’ve been hanging out a lot, actually getting to know each other. I think it’s really helping us get along better.”

“Well, that’s sweet,” Rich chimed in, taking a drink from his beer.

“Dude, can you not?”

“What? I said it was sweet.”

“Yeah,” Rob rolled his eyes. “And it didn’t sound sarcastic at all.”

“Look, I’m trying here,” Rich replied. “Y/N said some stuff to me on set, and I know that I’ve been hard on both of you. I still think you’re idiots and I still hate this entire thing, but I’ll try to be nicer.”

“Really? I can’t say I was expecting this.”

“Also, Briana told me she’d kick my ass if I wasn’t nice to the two of you this weekend.”

Rob grinned at Briana, who only gave him a knowing smile as if to say that Rich wasn’t lying. It wasn’t the way that Rob wanted Rich to learn to accept this choice, but if it worked, he wasn’t arguing.

In the middle of their conversation; something that Rob had missed a lot with his friends since this whole thing had happened, something at the bar caught Rich’s attention.

“Looks like someone else is moving in on your wife,” Rich chuckled as he nodded in the direction of the bar.

Rob turned to see what he meant. There at the bar, a man had approached Y/N, Kim, and Ruth; but he was obviously keeping his seemingly unwanted attention on Y/N. Rob immediately grew anxious. He thought he recognized the man as just a random person who had offered to buy Y/N a drink when they first arrived at the bar. She had declined politely and the guy had backed off. Now, he was back and too close for comfort, despite the fact that Y/N had made it clear that she wasn’t interested.

Again, Rob was plagued with questions. Should he step in now and get rid of the guy? Could Y/N handle it on her own, or more importantly, would she rather handle it on her own?

He watched as the man stepped in closer to Y/N. Her earlier happy expression had faded quickly and Rob felt himself grow uncomfortable by how uncomfortable she appeared to be now.

“At what point does a fake husband step in to get rid of a creep?” Rob asked out loud, directing his thought to Rich and Briana.

He kept his eyes on the scene, and felt his heart drop when he saw the man reach and arm around Y/N, moving his hand down the small of her back until he stopped and grabbed her ass. That was all he saw. Well, that and the look of complete shock on Y/N’s face.

“I think that’s the point,” Rich responded as he too watched the entire thing happen.

Rob was already out of his seat and approaching Y/N though. He could feel his face heat up in anger and the adrenaline began to rush through him. The guy was obviously bigger than he was, and he was sure that interfering was going to lead to him getting pummeled. It didn’t matter though. He was seeing red and his immediate instinct was to protect her.

He walked quickly toward Y/N, watching as she attempted to shove the guy away. She was upset now and Kim and Ruth were shouting something at the man that Rob couldn’t quite hear. He wasn’t taking no for an answer though; so Rob moved a little faster, now feeling like he had to protect them all.

Rob placed himself in between Y/N and the man, shoving him back a bit which at least led to the guy losing his grip on her. ‘Yeah, this guy’s a lot bigger than I thought,’ he thought to himself as he forced himself to face the guy.

“Can I help you?” The man asked, looking down at Rob with an annoyed look.

“Yeah, you can help everyone by backing the fuck off.”

“This has nothing to do with you.”

“Actually, it does. She’s my wife.”

“What?” The man grinned and pointed to Y/N. “This pretty girl right here is married to you?”

“Yes,” Y/N replied.

“I suggest you just back off now before I get really pissed,” Rob added.

“What do you think you’re gonna do?” The man asked with a challenging smirk. He took a step closer to Rob.

He stopped briefly to consider this. He really didn’t know what he was doing. He had hoped that he could keep his cool long enough to get out of this by simply talking to the guy. Apparently that wasn’t working. He was still overcome with the want to hit the guy; something that he knew would not go well for him. He sized the man up again and let out the breath he had been holding in. Yeah, he was definitely going to get his ass kicked tonight. It may have been simpler to just take Y/N and get the hell out of there, but something in him wanted to prove a point. It wasn’t okay to grab women, and it wasn’t okay to be so persistent when a woman was obviously not interested.

Rob steeled himself, knowing that he was about to make a big mistake. The only thing he hoped to gain from it was getting this guy to back off finally.

“Well,” Rob began as he stepped back a bit from the guy and readied himself. “I guess I’m going to have to do this…”

Reader’s POV

You would have thought it was really sweet that Rob had stepped in and was defending you in any other case. Right now though, that thought seemed to fade when you realized he was basically picking a fight with this guy who was much bigger than he was.

The moment that you noticed Rob step back when the man challenged him with the words, ‘What do you think you’re gonna do?’, you knew that shit was about to get real bad, real fast.

However, you didn’t have time to react or even try to convince Rob to just step down. You could have easily dragged him out of there; avoiding the creep and what was about to happen altogether.

Before you could think, Rob had pulled back and hit the guy; which only startled him briefly. The next few minutes were a dizzying blur as you were inexplicably pulled away from the fight that was quickly unfolding in front of you. You wanted to go to Rob out of instinct. You very suddenly hated yourself for this even happening right now.

“Stop, Y/N,” you heard Kim shout. You looked at her, now realizing that she was the one getting you away from the mess. You let her drag you away as the sudden feeling of guilt washed over you. The only relief that you felt came from when you saw some of your other friends rushing into the chaos.

You decided that it was best to stay away from it. You knew that no one was going to let Rob get his ass kicked, and you only hoped that whatever damage was caused in those first few seconds of him reacting like an idiot was minimal.

Almost as soon as the whole thing started, it was over. You breathed a sigh of relief when you saw Jason practically drag Rob away from the fight. You had missed what had happened; mostly because your view was skewed by the bodies that jumped in to stop it, but also because you really didn’t want to look. Now, you made your way to Jason and Rob, ready to yell at him for being such an idiot.

“So, we’re leaving,” Jason announced as the two of them approached you. You quickly glanced at Rob; relieved that the damage seemed to be minimal at least. He was certainly beat up a bit, but it didn’t look to be too concerning.

The entire group left before anything else could happen. Mostly, you were forced to when Rob was kicked out. No one else had to leave, but the fight had certainly put a damper on the night. You walked next to Rob as the group headed back to the hotel.

Neither of you said a word to each other. You looked toward him every now and then, trying to read his thoughts over what had just happened. He mostly looked emotionless. You on the other hand, were surprisingly worried.

Once you were in the privacy of your own room, you decided to make the effort to let Rob know that he was an idiot, but you still appreciated him.

You insisted that he lie down on the bed and you quickly grabbed the ice bucket, leaving the room briefly to retrieve ice to nurse his wounds. You prepped a makeshift ice pack once you got back and joined him on the bed, sitting next to him.

“You didn’t have to do that,” you said softly as you placed the towel just below his eye that was already starting to bruise. He flinched slightly and then relaxed.

“I know I didn’t,” he replied.

“I’m sorry,” you said.

“Why are you sorry? You’re not the creep who was going around grabbing people.”

“No, but I know you stepped in to defend your ‘wife’. This never would have happened otherwise.”

“You don’t think I would have stepped in even if we weren’t married?”

You dropped your eyes from his, now feeling ashamed as you pretended to be more concerned with his injuries.

“Because I would have done that regardless.”

“You would do that for any woman, wouldn’t you?”

“Well, I considered just grabbing you and getting you out of there; which is probably what I actually would have done if it had been any other woman I know,” he chuckled. “It’s usually best to avoid the fights or at least leave them for someone who is actually big enough to measure up. But, for you, I would have reacted the same way even if we weren’t married.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know,” he admitted. “I saw him grab you and I just lost it.”

“Normally, I’d yell at you and tell you that you were an idiot,” you began.

“You’d tell me that you had it under control?”

“Yeah, I would normally say that.”

“I felt like you didn’t though. Which is why I reacted.”

“I mean, I probably would have gotten it under control after the shock wore off.”

“You seem like you can handle yourself pretty well.”

“Still, I appreciate you stepping in,” you said quietly before you gave him a smirk. “Even if you nearly got your ass kicked.”

“Hey, Jason said that I actually got the guy pretty good,” he smiled.

You smiled in return, moving the towel to his split lip that had stopped bleeding.

“I’m so proud,” you laughed.

You both kept quiet for a moment as you focused on taking care of him. You were nervous now over the way his eyes stayed on you tried to gently ice his lip. This was all your fault, and you wanted to do what you could to ease whatever pain he was in. The way he watched you though made you very aware of the fact that this was the first time the two of you had been this close. The night of the wedding didn’t count in your book. Honestly, this moment right here felt even more intimate than that.

“Thank you,” he whispered suddenly.

“For what?”

“For taking care of me right now.”

“It’s the least I could do. I’ve never had a man stand up for me like that,” you responded.

The two of you fell into silence again. It wasn’t awkward or uncomfortable this time. Now, you were just back to taking care of him while he watched you from his place on the bed. The only strangeness from the situation came from the feeling you got as you thought about the way he was watching you. It was almost as if this were a tender and sweet moment between the two of you.

When you figured his face was numb enough as the ice melted in the makeshift ice pack, you set the towel aside and moved onto the bed next to him. He scooted over slightly as you laid your body next to his; not too close but also not wanting to push him at arm's length this time. It wasn’t the first time you had shared a bed with him, but something about this moment made it an entirely new experience. You faced him, lying on your side to look at him as he moved to face you in turn.

Still, neither of you spoke; but you both seemed to be in the same mindset in the moment. You hesitantly placed a hand against his chest, watching for some sort of reaction as you considered if this was okay with him.. His reaction wasn’t what you expected, since you assumed that he hated you after everything, but he closed his eyes as his lips turned up into a soft smile. You felt him breathe out and you took it as your cue to move closer.

You only paused when your face was just inches from his. You waited for something, not quite sure what that something was right now. Maybe you just wanted an excuse to not do what you were thinking of doing.

“I think I’m waiting for someone to interrupt us,” you said.

“Yeah,” he smiled. “We’ve been interrupted a few times, huh?”

You nodded in return and he glanced up at you, those blue eyes studying you.

“I don’t think anyone is going to interrupt us right now,” he continued. “But you also don’t have to kiss me if you don’t want to.”

“What about the act?” You asked. “Aren’t we supposed to be a believable couple?”

“We’re the only one’s here, Y/N.”

You moved closer to him anyway, running your hand up his chest and around to the back of his neck. You pulled him toward you and placed your lips against his softly.

Surprisingly, you were the one to tense up. He only flinched slightly at the way your lips pressed against his injury, but he quickly eased into it. He seemed more natural about the whole thing as he waited for you to take the lead.

You were overwhelmed that this was even happening. No one was around to witness this, no one would be talking about how they had seen the two of you kiss, so therefore; the entire relationship was real. You could lie to yourself all you wanted; but you knew that this was for you. These past few weeks of craziness over your mistake and the subsequent time spent telling yourself that you were completely over the fact that you may have had a thing for him; was beginning to wash away rather quickly. There were a lot of things that you had been trying to force yourself into believing; maybe right now, it was okay to just let your guard down with him.

The knowledge that you could still use the fact that you were married to write things like this off as an act, was the only thing that eased your mind. Maybe it wasn’t right or fair to anyone, but at least you had that option if you realized that this was a mistake.

Now that you had eased into the moment, you pressed your lips to his a bit harder. You felt sort of bad that this was possibly hurting him given the split lip and all, but he wasn’t giving you any indication that he wanted you to stop. He moved his hand to your waist, gripping onto you as you parted your lips for him.

This was not about looking legitimate in front of anyone anymore. You sort of panicked as you realized that you were kissing him for no other reason than maybe you wanted to kiss him. You kept your eyes closed and lost yourself in the way his lips felt against yours, the way he tasted your mouth as if you were all he ever wanted.

You pushed aside the nagging thought that this was a bad idea. The worst thing either of you could do was start to like each other when this entire thing was scheduled to end in roughly five months anyway.

You closed your eyes tightly as you tried to focus on the kiss. It felt nice to be with him like this. The doubts in your mind, the reminders that none of this was real, the knowledge that the two of you had involved so many people in this mess who would ultimately be hurt in the end; it was too much for you to think about anymore.

For the time being, you figured it didn't hurt to just ignore all of that for now. Maybe it was okay to let yourself go now and then and take advantage of the fact that you had a ‘husband’ at your disposal.

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[not-close-to-straight]

Frost (Chapter Two)

ADDITIONAL CHAPTERS HERE

Enjoy :) ******************

“Anthony!”

Tony jumped when Thor's voice boomed across the foyer, but turned with a smile as the Demi-god strode towards him, letting Mjolnir slide from his hands to the floor as he went.

“Anthony, my love.” Thor stopped just a few steps from him, then dropped to one knee and took his hand, pressing a warm kiss to his palm. “You are beautiful, tonight. Gorgeous.”

“I feel like a girl.” Tony complained and Thor smiled before standing and drawing him close.

“No, elskan mín, not a woman. 'Tis simply different from Midgardian clothes is all.”

“I'm wearing a dress and tights.” Tony said dryly, looking down at the dark blue tunic and wrinkling his nose.

“Just a tunic and leggings.” Thor corrected. “Completely appropriate for the meal.”

“It's cut down to my navel.” Tony argued, and then blushed when Thor's eyes dropped to follow the neckline that did in fact travel nearly to Tony's navel. The silky material was loose enough to see almost all of Tony's chest, newly flawless skin looking golden against the dark blue.

“Such a cut will guarantee my eyes never leave you tonight.” Thor assured him, his big hand resting low onto Tony's hip, thumb stroking firmly over his hipbone. “You will have the attention of everyone in the room.”

Thor reached into one of the small pockets on his cape and pulled out a long necklace, smiling into Tony's eyes before looping it over his neck.

“There. Now you are not showing quite so much skin, if it makes you uncomfortable.” He hesitated, touching the blue stones wrapped in delicate gold on the necklace. “Do you like it? I had it made especially for you for tonight. I would hope you will wear it often.”

“Blue for your eyes. And gold?” Tony questioned and Thor nodded, looking vulnerable and unsure of himself. It was rare look on the God of Thunder and Tony touched his cheek encouragingly. “Why gold, Thor? I don't usually go for the mob boss jewelry look.”

“The Lightning that moves between us.” Thor murmured. “When we are together. The sparks. They move as gold against your skin. The most beautiful thing I've ever seen.”

“Oh.” Tony grinned and stood on his toes to mash a kiss to Thor's lips. “I'll wear it all the time. I love it.”

“I love you, Anthony.” Thor whispered and softened the kiss, holding Tony as close as he could for a long moment.

“I love you too.” Tony let Thor pick him up and pin him to the wall, legs winding automatically around his waist.

“Elskan mín.” Thor rumbled, and pressed their foreheads together. “My Beloved.”

“I don't have a name for you that's half as romantic.” Tony muttered. “I consider myself a smooth guy but you put me to shame. What can I call you that's as romantic as your name for me?”

Thor smiled, rubbing their noses together playfully. “To hear my name from your lips is romantic enough, darling.”

“Oh my god.” Tony laughed quietly and closed his eyes, soaking in the warmth and happy he was still getting used to feeling. These moments with Thor were so far away from how awful his life had been after Siberia and some days he still felt like he was waiting to wake up from his dream.

“Perhaps it would be wise to release your hjartslattur and proceed to the banquet.” Loki's haughty voice cut into their private moment and Tony tensed in Thor's arms.

“Loki.” Thor sighed. “There wasn't another way for you to announce your presence?” He set Tony down carefully, brushing the wrinkles from his tunic and lacing their fingers together before turning to look at his brother.

“I suppose I could have cleared my throat obnoxiously several times, but that is such a strain on my vocal cords.” Loki answered, touching his throat mockingly. “And everyone is waiting for you, and apparently I have been demoted from Prince to retriever, so if you two wouldn't mind---” he arched an eyebrow and Tony squashed the urge to roll his eyes.

“Of course.” Thor brought Tony's fingers to his mouth for  a light kiss, then lay his hand over his arm. “Come, Anthony. The entire realm wants to meet you and I am looking forward to showing you off.”

“Excellent. Being paraded about like a prize poodle sounds just excellent.” Tony adjusted the necklace and managed a nervous smile. “Shall we?”

“Shall we?” Loki repeated with a sardonic smile, and bowed low as they passed. “My King. Sir Anthony.”

Tony let Thor lead him out of the foyer and into the banquet hall, but he glanced over his shoulder at Loki as he went, remembering their odd conversation earlier in the bedroom.

He was definitely uncomfortable with the way he was drawn to Loki. There was something underneath the thinly veiled insults, and and vain demeanor that called to Tony. And he knew- he knew-- that it was because he saw a lot of himself in Loki. Or at least a lot of how he had been before Thor had saved him.

And that made him sad, that maybe Loki was hurting just as badly as Tony had been, that maybe he was just better at hiding it.

So he looked back, to see the god was watching him steadily, his hands clenched by his sides, and Tony could have sworn the pale skin flickered blue, the eyes maybe twitched red for a split second.

But then Loki raised a perfectly arched brow and smirked and the moment was gone.

*****************

God Loki hated these things.

All the fanfare, the ridiculous people dressed in their ridiculous outfits, each one pretending to be more important than the person before. Asgardians looked down on the mortals of Midgard, turning their noses up at their customs and societies, but when it came to scraping and bowing to win the favor of their King, both worlds were entirely the same.

Entirely ridiculous.

And one after another, sometimes two and three to a group, the nobles were all fawning over Thor and his chosen one, posturing and preening and tossing compliments around until even Thor-- giant, golden buffoon that he was-- was starting to look bored.

Not that Loki was watching Thor, no he had cured himself of staring at Thor years ago. Centuries ago. Well before it came to light that they were neither brothers nor even family. Other than to be annoyed, Thor never even crossed Loki’s mind.

But he had yet to take his eyes from Anthony, who sat at Thor's right hand, trying and mostly succeeding at hiding his anxiety at being in front of so many people, at being the center of attention in such a large group.

Only mostly succeeding because Loki could see the tremble in his hands, and the way he kept pressing lightly over his chest where the arc reactor used to be. Only he and Thor were at the high table, and from his position at the second table, Loki could see Anthony's leg bouncing nervously, despite the weight of Thor's hand on his knee.

The Midgardian was nervous, anxious, much like he had been in front of his team on earth, and that bothered Loki for reasons he wasn't quite ready to investigate.

Then Thor turned and lay a gentle kiss on Anthony's lips, whispering something soft and the tremble disappeared, the anxiety left his face, and Anthony calmed almost instantly.

Loki looked away.

It was bad enough they had given the mortal a tunic in that particular shade of blue, cut down to an indecent point, showing off all that perfect skin every time he moved. And of course, the necklace Thor had ordered specifically made, the stones the same shade of blue as Thor's eyes, the delicate gold chain flashing and glinting against a nearly bare chest.

Loki turned even further away, gripping his cup hard enough to make the stem crack.

Those horrible, stupid stories. Two Gods sharing one mate. One soul. One heartbeat. It made him sick. The Thunder God and the Trickster God sharing a hjartslattur. Ridiculous. Ludicrous. Laughable. Especially now, especially after everything that had gone wrong, after how far he and Thor had come from the boys who had played pranks on the priests and tried to sneak past Heimdall.

The idea that even now they were supposed to share this man, this mortal, this Anthony-- it wasn't even worth considering. Not only would Anthony not want to be anywhere near him, Thor would surely call his lightning and fry Loki where he stood if he so much as looked at Anthony with anything other than complete, platonic, respect in his eyes.

But none of that stopped the interest curling through Loki's body as he watched the necklace as it rested over Anthony's heart. It didn't stop the want from filling his eyes as he imagined the stones warmed from Anthony's skin, imagined the mortal wearing the necklace and nothing else.

Because as laughable as the stories were, Loki had always secretly hoped, had always secretly wanted them to be true. And it hadn't been until just a few weeks ago when he had seen, physically seen the sparks Thor and Anthony created, that he had realized that maybe the stories were true Perhaps Anthony was the hjartslattur--the heartbeat-- that the two gods were meant to share.

And while that thought made him happier than he had been in years, it also terrified him to his core, made bile rise in his throat, and with his appetite instantly gone, he began looking for a chance to escape.

Loki supposed one benefit to being viewed as a criminal still, to being watched warily for a malicious trick or a prank, was that everyone was fairly relieved when he left a party, so he simply drained the wine from his glass and stalked away before anyone picked up on the panic in his demeanor.

“Where is my brother going?” Thor demanded of a servant as soon as he saw Loki leaving. “Fetch him and tell him to return now.”

“Why does he have to stay?” Tony asked quietly, threading their fingers together under the table. Thor might not have noticed Loki staring, but Tony certainly had, and had been nervous about it all night. Not nervous because Loki had looked like he was plotting trouble, but nervous because Loki looked like he wanted, and that made Tony… that made him…

Well anyway, he wasn't upset that Loki had left.

“It's is rude to leave before he has toasted to our bond, my love.” Thor frowned. “Loki knows this and has chosen to disrespect me anyway.”

“Maybe he's feeling unwelcome.” Tony pointed out, unsure of why he was even sticking up for the Trickster. “You were telling me earlier that most people still have a hard time accepting him back after… after everything. Maybe he can tell that he isn’t exactly wanted.”

“That doesn't matter!” Thor insisted. “And if I have forgiven my brother, so has Asgard. He has no reason to feel unwelcome.”

Tony squeezed his thigh gently. “Doesn't it though? Remember how much I hated to be around the team after they came home? They all stared at me like I was a criminal, like everything was my fault. You didn't blame me for not wanting to be around them, why is Loki’s situation any different?”

Thor opened his mouth to argue, but then closed it thoughtfully. “I would never have considered your circumstances to be the same, but you are correct, Anthony. Very well. I will leave him in peace.” He brushed a kiss over Tony's lips. “My wise one.”

“Go and ask the Prince if he is in need of anything for the evening.” Thor told the servant, who swallowed nervously, but gave a short bow and turned to do as he was told, nearly running after the younger Prince.

“My Lord.” The servant found Loki as he was headed up the stairs, and bowed low. “Our King has asked that I enquire as to your needs for the rest of the evening. Is there anything you want, anything I could acquire for you?”

“My needs.” Loki repeated and wanted to laugh. The servant would give him anything from a new glass of wine to his own body if Loki asked. He took a deep breath and looked the servant over critically. The young man was tall and thin, his hair a plain brown and eyes a light blue.

Attractive. But not what he wanted. All of that-- all of it was wrong.

“No. Tell the King I require nothing.” He was sure he didn't imagine the look of relief in the boy's eyes, and he hated that. It would be nice to be looked at as if he was still desirable at least every once in awhile. There had been a time, after all, when a night in his bed was a sought after experience.

Once upon a time, it had been.

Loki swallowed his wounded pride and waved the servant off and set off up the stairs, content to be invisible and forgotten in his chambers.

******************** ******************** Late that night, after the banquet had calmed and the musicians and jesters had completed their acts, Thor swooped Tony into his arms, carrying him quickly to their rooms, bolting the door behind them.

Tony was drunk on wine and the constant attention of his lover, giggling as he watched Thor undress, biting his lip in anticipation as the last bit of clothing fell away and Thor stood naked in front of him.

“Come now, Anthony.” Thor coaxed, holding out a hand invitingly. “Surely you do not want me to be the only one unclothed?”

“Well I don't know.” Tony sank onto their bed, playing with his necklace absentmindedly. “You're just so pretty to look at. All big and you know… big.”

Thor laughed and stretched out on the bed next to him, tugging him onto the pillows and inching the leggings down over Tony's hips and thighs.

“I do believe everyone was quite taken with you tonight, and you don't seem too tired after a long night. Perhaps you have healed enough, and tomorrow you may start venturing out through the castle and grounds. I am happy to accompany you. You would enjoy the gardens.”

“I would love that.” Tony propped himself up on his elbows and gave Thor a long kiss. “But I would love it even more if you would hurry up and take my pants off.”

“It wasn't all that long ago I was the one who had to initiate all of our moments together.” Thor said teasingly and Tony shrugged self consciously.

“I feel-- lots better about everything now. About myself and us and--”

“And it make me very happy to see.” Thor finished. “I have missed the Anthony that was quick with a joke and a smile. I am glad to see you healing so well, my love.”

“I couldn't have done it without you.” Tony whispered. “You saved me, Thor. You just showed right up and saved me.”

They were quiet together for a minute, each remembering the months alone in the Avengers Compound. Thor's heart hurt, remembering how badly Tony had been hurting, the drinking and the eating disorder and the nightmares. It had taken months before Tony had been started acting like himself again, only to have the team come back and nearly destroy all the progress they had made together.

Somehow they had survived though, with soft declarations of affection, creating wild storms with the magic that raced between their bodies as they made love, and the startling realization that Tony could lift and hold Mjolnir. Really the decision to bring him to Asgard hadn't been difficult at all, and Thor didn't think he had ever been this happy.

“I love you, Anthony. Elskan mín, my hjartslattur.” Thor gathered him close. “My heartbeat.”

“I love you too.” Tony laced his fingers through long blonde hair and tugged lightly, grinning when Thor's eyes darkened with desire. Thunder rolled outside their room as Thor moved between his legs, thick and ready against his thigh.

“Yes, Thor.” Tony moaned. “Make a storm with me.”

“Always, my love.”

***************** In a different part of the castle, Loki heard the boom of thunder and dragged a pillow over his ears to muffle the noise, pulling the blankets tighter around him to hide from it.

The thunder, the storms, the jealousy and the loneliness.

He lay in the dark, in the silence and tried to block it all out.

But that was easier said than done, wasn't it?

************************

[destination-kalafina]

Shanghai Part 4

Author’s Note: Well, I guess we have reached the last installment of the Shanghai fic :( I’ve been thinking… I suppose it’s kind of funny I called it “Shanghai” when only one part of the story was actually there, but it helps me differentiate between what I write xD  

Thanks so much for sticking with the story and being patient while I got all the parts out! All of you rock <3 I also want to send a thanks to @symph0nia-pendragon for being a big motivator while I wrote. This fanfic wouldn’t have been done nearly as fast without the inspiration, and maybe not published in the first place. 

Lastly, I’m just throwing it out there, but if you want to see a specific situation written like the girls doing a certain thing or going on a trip to somewhere, feel free to send me a request ^_^ If not, I’m just gonna have to keep bothering you with ideas I’ve thought of myself >:)  I hope you enjoy this wrap up of “Shanghai” !! WARNING!! This fic is very WaKei prominent!!! If that’s not your cup of tea then this story is NOT for you!!

Part Four

Keiko took one last look around her apartment, making sure everything looked nice and neat before her guests arrived. She had spent the last few hours cleaning, because Wakana and Hikaru were expected to be coming over to watch a movie. They had decided to get together at their last Kalafina rehearsal, and Keiko offered to host the movie night.

Not a bad job if I do say so myself, she praised internally, putting her vacuum back into her storage closet.

Keiko checked the time, looking to see how long she had until they came.

Looks like I finished in good timing.

She had about thirty minutes to spare, but quite honestly, she had been pretty anxious all day. As time crept closer, she grew more tense.

It’s not that it was because the girls were coming over, because they’ve done this hundred of times in the years they’ve known each other. It was the fact that it had been several weeks since she saw her soprano co-singer outside of a work setting, and she was very nervous on how the night was going to play out. 

All day, Keiko ran through different conversations she could bring up with Wakana when she saw her to try to ease up the tension between them. As she waited, she began to think about things to say again, but before she could get very far, the sound of her cell phone ringing echoed through the house. She walked over to her mobile and read the caller ID on the screen.

“Hikaru”

Wondering if everything was okay, Keiko picked up the phone.

“What’s up, Hi-chan?”

A very queasy-sounding Hikaru replied back through the speaker.

“Errr… Keiko… I’m really sorry… but I think I got a bit of food poisoning from the dinner I had tonight… The stuff I put down has been coming back up for an hour now.”

Keiko heard a few coughs, and then some other unpleasant noises accompanying the hacking.

“Hi-chan!! Are you okay?! Well, alright, obviously not, but is there anything I can do?? I can bring you some medicine or anything else right now.”

After a couple more coughs, Hikaru managed another response. “No, don’t waste your time coming here! I’ll be okay, but I’m gonna have to skip out on the movie this time.” 

“Are you sure? I wouldn’t mind coming over at all,” Keiko offered again.

“It’s really fine! Besides, I haven’t told Wakana, so she will probably be there soon.”

At this sudden realization, Keiko’s eyes widened. If Hikaru isn’t coming, that means… 

“Oh, that’s right,” Keiko commented. “Well I hope you get better soon. Drink LOTS of water.”

Some more miserable-sounding noises resonated through the small device.

“Yes, I will. I’m really sorry again!!”

“Don’t worry about it, Hikaru. I’ll see you later.”

Keiko hung up the phone, and leaned back against the wall, putting her hands behind her back. She looked at the clock again, which now read 7:28. Her heart began to race faster.

She’s going to be here any minute now.

The anxious woman walked around her apartment once more and did a quick scan to make sure everything looked normal. She looked at the clock again. 7:30.

Maybe I should just call her and tell her before she gets here… 

Keiko brought out her phone again and began looking through her contact list to find Wakana’s name. She dialed the phone number, but after a few seconds of the outgoing ring, the familiar sound of Wakana’s “My Neighbor Totoro” ringtone resonated from outside her door.

The younger woman abruptly turned her head upon hearing this, and looked back at her phone which was still ringing.

Too late, I guess, she thought, ending the call.

Keiko walked toward her front door and looked through the peephole to see if her friend was actually standing outside. Sure enough, she saw Wakana’s sweet, but now confused face there.

Keiko took a deep breath, readying herself for this meeting. She reached for the door handle, and then slowly opened it to greet her co-singer.

“Hi.”

Wakana quickly looked up, surprised by the sudden appearance of her friend.

“Uhh, Keiko! Hello… did you just call me?”

Wakana glanced inside Keiko’s apartment, looking around for her other band member. 

“Is Hi-chan here?” she questioned further. “Sorry I’m a few minutes late…”

Even after several weeks, the tension between the two women still lingered in the air. Since they hadn’t really talked in awhile, their words came out slowly, both trying to be cautious of what they were saying.

Keiko’s hand gripped the door handle, her heart still pounding in her chest. Wakana was very anxious as well, her hands growing sweatier by the second.

Keiko smiled sheepishly.  “Actually, that’s what I was just calling you about… She called earlier and was nearly throwing up her entire body weight. The poor girl got some bad food poisoning from something she ate tonight. Anyways… she’s not going to make it here…”

Wakana blushed, understanding the situation she was in now. “Ehh!! Well I hope she’s going to be okay!! We can reschedule for another time! I wish someone told me that so I didn’t come all the way here and bother you!!” 

“No! Don’t be silly,” Keiko said, waving her hands back and forth trying to brush off Wakana’s distress. “If you don’t have anything else going on, please come in. She just called about ten minutes ago so I didn’t have enough time to tell you before you got here.”

“Oh, well that’s okay! But if she’s not here, then I should probably go back. I don’t want to-” Wakana started, trying to choose what to do.

Keiko interrupted her thought. “Are you sure? It would be nice if you came in even for just a little…”

The air grew heavy again, and Wakana tried to decide if going in and being alone with Keiko would be the best thing to do. In normal circumstances, she would have gladly accompanied her friend. 

The older woman’s cheeks were still flushed with a noticeable shade of pink. “I don’t know… I really think I should come again when Hikaru is well…”

Keiko saw how flustered Wakana was, and she felt bad about how uncomfortable their friendship was at the moment.

In what seemed to be the first time in forever, Keiko looked straight into her best friend’s eyes, a pleading look on her face. Knowing that they had to confront their situation at some point, she asked her again, imploringly. 

“Wakana… please. I think we should talk.” 

Upon hearing the urgency in Keiko’s voice, Wakana’s heart skipped a beat. The one person she could hardly say no to was Keiko, and she especially couldn’t listening to how desperate she sounded in that moment. 

Knowing that she was right, and remembering how much she missed her best friend, Wakana agreed to her request. “Okay.”

“Thank you,” the younger woman replied softly.

The older girl cautiously made her way into the wide apartment as Keiko moved out of the way to let her in. She set her bag down in the corner while Keiko closed the door behind them.

“I’ll be right back,” Keiko noted, walking away into another room.

Wakana looked around Keiko’s apartment, taking in the familiar place she knew so well. It was a home she’s visited more times than she could count on all of her fingers and toes combined.

She saw the TV the three of them in Kalafina had so many marathons on, the couch they had sat and cried together on numerous times for many different things, the pictures of them and Keiko’s family surrounding the walls. She even saw the little dinosaur stuffed animal she once gave to Keiko as a gift for her birthday.

Wakana laughed. Perhaps that was more well-suited for me…

All of these little things brought back fond memories of their times with each other to Wakana. It had been nearly a month since the older girl had been inside the apartment, and she got a little teary-eyed thinking about all the fun memories her, Keiko, and Hikaru have made together over the years. She loved the two girls more than anything, and she couldn’t stand any longer putting off her friendship with Keiko over a little jealousy and argument.

Keiko walked back in the room, a few DVDs in her hand. She held one out.

“Well this is the movie we were supposed to watch with Hikaru, but we shouldn’t watch it without her. We can-”

After thinking about the past several years together, how terrible the past few weeks have been, and wanting to fix their situation as soon as possible, Wakana cut Keiko off mid-sentence.  

“Keiko, I’m sorry!!!” she exclaimed.

Surprised by the sudden outburst, Keiko looked up at the older girl, who looked genuinely apologetic, a guilt covering her face as well.

“Wakana…” Keiko began.  

Wakana didn’t let her continue. “I shouldn’t have said any of the stuff I said after that interview!! I was just upset at the time and the words wouldn’t stop!!! I didn’t mean any of it! Everything has completely been my fault!”

The tears were already starting to form again, but Wakana held them back, not wanting to seem like a weak child in front of Keiko this time. Keiko listened to the apologetic woman, hating that she was taking all the blame. 

“Please forgive me!” the older girl finished.

Keiko put down the DVDs and walked over to Wakana, grabbing the woman’s shoulders with both of her hands. In all seriousness, she spoke to her friend.

“Wakana, stop. I should be the one apologizing. I never should have brought up… that time with you. It was one of the worst things I probably could have said, but it just slipped out in the moment. You know I would never intentionally say anything to hurt you… I’m the one that’s sorry.”

As she talked, Keiko’s grip became tighter, as if she was trying to convey her regret through her body as well.

“But I’m the one who started accusing you of ridiculous things first! In the end, this wasted month was because of me..” Wakana concluded, looking down at the floor out of shame. 

Keiko jerked Wakana a little closer, forcing her to look up.

“Wa-chan… I don’t even care what was said anymore, because we both know neither of us meant it. I just want to be able to talk to my best friend again…” Keiko trailed off, her eyes and mind wandering somewhere else. 

Wakana nearly missed what Keiko was saying, her concentration taken by Keiko’s face who was now only inches away from her own. It wasn’t until after about 30 seconds that Wakana realized she had been holding her breath while Keiko talked. She froze and stared at her co-singer’s face, afraid something would happen if she moved. 

“Yes… me too…” the older girl said absentmindedly.

After a few more seconds, Wakana snapped out of her daze, her brain now focusing back into the world. As they stood there, she saw that Keiko’s eyes were fixated on something on her face, and her pulse began to quicken thinking about what could be going through her co-singer’s mind.

Not wanting to reveal this funny feeling that was starting to stir inside of her, Wakana began to pull out of the stronger woman’s grip, who suddenly came back to reality too.

Just now realizing how close she was to her band member, Keiko quickly let go and took a step back.

“Right. Well then, let’s promise never to be that stupid again,” Keiko commented, her cheeks flushing slightly from the previous moment.

Wakana smiled shyly. “Yes, that’s a good idea.”

Wanting to change the scene, Keiko turned and grabbed the DVDs she went to get a few moments ago.

“Well we can watch a movie, if you still want to do that? I looked for a few I thought you would enjoy,” she offered, waving the discs around in the air. “Or we can do something else… whatever you want.”

Before Wakana could open her mouth, her stomach spoke for her. It growled loudly, telling it’s owner what it wanted her to do.

Wakana laughed and rubbed the back of her head. I was so nervous about coming here I forgot to have dinner…

“Could we maybe eat…?” the older girl requested, realizing how hungry she was.

Keiko chuckled. This was the Wakana she had been missing.

“I guess I can cook something up,” she said with a wink.

  Half an hour later, the girls were hard at work in the kitchen, cooking up a meal with all the food Keiko always had stocked up. They had decided to keep it simple, and just make some soup for two.

Keiko grabbed some vegetables from her fridge and set them down on the counter. She turned toward Wakana and pointed to one of the drawers to her right. 

“The knives are over there,” she said, smirking.

Wakana flipped her hair playfully and began to walk toward the cutting board. “You know me so well.”

“We all know how much chopping the food means to you, Wakana. Even the fans know,” Keiko teased.

Wakana opened the knife drawer and pulled out a medium-sized cutting knife. She took some carrots out of the bag and began chopping, laughing while doing so.

“Oh, that’s right. I guess we did talk about it on Kalafina Club once… What was it about again?”

Keiko thought back to that time, digging through her cabinets for a pot. “It was about us having our own cooking show or being on a cooking show or something like that, wasn’t it?”

Wakana momentarily stopped cutting the vegetables and looked down at Keiko, remembering that part of the episode they had.

“Ahh, yes! We assigned ourselves roles. I said chopping was relaxing so I was in charge of preparations, you would do the cooking, and Hikaru said she didn’t really enjoy either so she was in charge of decorations. 

Keiko slowly emerged from her search with a big pot. She walked over to the sink and filled it with water.

“Well, you were pretty adamant about doing the preparations, if I remember correctly,” she noted humorously. 

“I love it! Just call me Wakana the Chopper,” the older girl joked.

Keiko rolled her eyes and chuckled. “You’re a dork.”

The two girls continued to get the food, finally working in comfortable silence for once. Keiko prepared the seasonings and stirred them into the soup while Wakana stayed true to her job and kept on cutting up the vegetables. She was working on slicing tomatoes now, happily.

The mention of the Kalafina Club that was so old made Wakana start reminiscing about the past, thinking all the way back to when Kalafina first became a group. She remembered how awkward and quiet they were back then, especially Hikaru who talked even less than she did now.

Wakana giggled to herself. We’ve come a long way since then…

Finishing up one tomato, she shoved it to the side and began chopping another one. 

She then thought about the very first time she met Keiko. Their company hosted a singing event at a restaurant and they introduced themselves to each other there. They didn’t talk much at the time, but she remembered feeling intimidated by how talented and beautiful her voice was. It seemed funny now, because although Keiko’s talent still intimidated Wakana to this day, the younger girl was one of the few people Wakana could truly be herself and was most comfortable around.

But to think things would become like this… Back then I never would have thought-

“Agh!” Wakana stopped cutting and looked down at her hand when she felt a sharp pain.

Keiko abruptly turned from the stove and looked over when she heard the yelp from her friend. “What happened? Are you okay?”

While cutting the tomatoes, Wakana had zoned out and momentarily stopped paying attention to where she was placing the knife. She put the the knife down and held her left hand, which she accidentally sliced a gash in and was now bleeding significantly.

“Ah, I accidentally cut my hand a little…” she said, examining the wound more closely.

“What?!” Keiko set her ladle down and rushed over to look at Wakana’s hand. “A little??? Wakana, this is a long cut!” 

Keiko quickly grabbed a clean cloth and wet it, and started to dab some of the blood away. Wakana winced a little at the touch.

“How did you do this??” the younger woman asked.

“I guess I just spaced out for a little and stopped paying attention,” Wakana said back.

Keiko stopped wiping and then rinsed out the cloth.

 “Well at least it doesn’t look like it’s very deep… I was afraid you would need stitches, but it should be okay if we clean it up a little,” she commented, looking at the injury again. “It’s still bleeding though, so we should try to stop the flow and then disinfect it and wrap it up.”

Wakana nodded. “Sorry, Keiko… I can do it myself so you don’t have to go through the trouble.”   

The other woman shook her head. “Don’t be ridiculous. Come on, the first aid kit is in my bedroom.”

Keiko turned off the stove and then the girls walked over to Keiko’s room, sitting down on the bed. Keiko took out the first aid kit from her bedside table and tried to soak up some more of the blood that had come out.  

“There, the flow looks like it’s stopped.”

Wakana gently touched her hand, making sure it really was done bleeding.

“Thank you, Keiko,” she told her co-singer. “You’re too good of a friend to me sometimes.”

Keiko got out an antibiotic spray and pulled off the cap.

“Flattery won’t get you a higher quality band-aid, you know,” she teased, laughing. “Watch out, it’s gonna sting.” 

Wakana felt the spray on her, which burned, but she toughed out the pain. 

“I mean it! Even after all the stuff I said, you’re still kind enough to cook for me and care for my injury when I was being an idiot.”

“Hey now, we already said we would move past this,” the younger girl stated.

Keiko put the antibiotic spray back, and then finally got out some gauze to wrap up Wakana’s hand. She began to spin it around the wound.

“Yeah… but it still makes me sad to think about,” Wakana noted.

“We all say stuff we don’t mean… By the way, why were you so upset after the interview?” Keiko questioned, curiosity finally reaching her.

Wakana tensed up upon hearing the question, not knowing what to say.

I can’t tell her the real reason why… she thought to herself.

Keiko felt her stiffen up and looked up.

“Is it too tight?” she asked, concerned.

Wakana shook her head. “No, no, it’s fine!”

Well… I don’t have to lie completely.

“Anyways… I just started thinking about the future and how eventually we’ll have to start our own lives is all,” she replied, mixing up the story a little.  

Keiko sighed and finished up wrapping up Wakana’s hand. “It was because of that question they asked me, wasn’t it?”

Wakana looked away and mumbled. “Perhaps that was part of the reason…”

Keiko got a pair of scissors and then cut the end of the gauze. “Well, you don’t have to worry about me going any time soon. As for Hikaru, I’m not sure. I’m always convinced she has some kind of secret life going on,” Keiko joked, chuckling.

Wakana laughed as the younger girl dug around for a safety pin inside the first aid kit to hold the wrap together. She finally found one and finished up the treatment for the cut, pinning down the bandage.

“All done!” she said.

Wakana looked at her hand, admiring the great job done. Keiko had fixed it up so smoothly.

“Wow, someone will be really lucky to have you, Keiko. If I could, I would marry you myself!” Wakana teased, half-jokingly.

Hearing those words come out of Wakana’s mouth, Keiko’s heart nearly jumped out of her chest. She could instantly feel the heat rushing to her face.

Wakana continued on, laughing. “Then again, who would want to be with a klutz who can’t even chop vegetables correctly!”

The injured girl motioned with her wounded hand, waving it around.

To Keiko, everything her co-singer said after the first statement was a blur. She knew the words were nothing more than a joke, but her attraction for the woman in front of her kept growing with every second they were together, and that comment certainly did not help. 

The younger girl remained silent, and Wakana looked at her blank face, confused.

“Keiko?” Wakana waved her hand in front of the woman’s face. “Hello??”

Keiko gently stopped the older girl’s hand and held onto it. She wasn’t sure what to do, but she found herself leaning in closer to her co-singer, her body doing something different than what her mind was telling her. She couldn’t help but stare at the other woman’s lips that were soft and pink and looked so inviting. 

Stop, Keiko. You’re making a mistake, her brain was saying to herself.

 Wakana could feel the heat from Keiko’s hand and her heart began to race. She could feel her best friend getting closer, yet she didn’t do anything to stop it.

“Keiko… what are you doing?” she asked softly.

The younger girl continued to lean in, her face getting closer.

“I don’t know…” she answered, her breath airy.

Wakana gripped the bed with her free hand. She almost pinched herself, because she surely had to be dreaming. Never in a million years did she think she would find herself in this situation, especially not right after she just poured everything she held inside to Hikaru. She also knew, after everything that has happened, that Keiko could do better.

“You don’t want to do this… What about your dream guy?”

Keiko gently placed her other hand on Wakana’s shoulder, replying again, her mouth taking on a mind of its own. 

“Wakana... I have loved you since we met and every time that question comes up, the reason I always say looks don’t matter is because no one will ever be as beautiful to me as you are.”

Wakana’s cheeks flooded with a shade of bright pink hearing this declaration. By now, she wanted so badly to just let herself go, but she was still hesitant, her conscious still fighting her. The younger girl was now only inches away from her face. 

At this point, Wakana was so close that Keiko could feel her warm breath skate across her lips. It took everything inside of her to hold herself back and make sure this was what Wakana wanted also.

“Keiko…” the older girl started. “You shouldn’t… One day someone better will come along and steal your heart.”

Decreasing the small space between them, Keiko made her final assertion. 

“It’s already been stolen, Wakana.”

The tense girl finally gave in, her body finally letting down its guard. Feeling this, Keiko slowly closed the gap between the two, and gently pressed her lips against her best friend’s.

The heat of Keiko’s touch ran throughout all of Wakana’s body. The other woman’s lips felt warm and soft against her own, and she began to return the gesture.

Neither of the pair had ever felt this kind of static, both deepening the kiss a little further. Keiko grasped onto her co-singer, not wanting to let go. She had been waiting for this moment for years and wanted to take in every second she could.

Eventually the two broke apart, soaking in what they just experienced. Keiko let go of Wakana’s hand, and they stared at each other smiling, both at a loss for words.

After a few seconds, Wakana furrowed her eyebrows. “So if you weren’t flirting with that guy, why did you take his name card?”

Keiko tilted her head, confused. “Huh? What are you talking about?”

“In Shanghai… the one you said was cool when you came into the dressing room.”

Keiko thought hard, trying to remember who her co-singer was talking about. The memory finally came back to her. “Oh! That wasn’t a name card silly… He came up to me after the interview and told me he knew that you loved sharks. He said he worked for this museum that has this awesome shark exhibit, so he gave me a pass. Then I told him how I’ve touched a shark before and how upset you got when you found out and we were both cracking up.”

“Wait, are you serious?!?! You really got a ticket?!” Wakana asked, disregarding any information about the man and only focusing on the stuff about the sharks.

“Yeah, but I’m thinking about going myself…” Keiko said. “It seems pretty cool.” 

“Kei-chan!!” Wakana exclaimed. This was not a matter she liked to mess around about.

Keiko laughed and tapped Wakana’s nose. “I’m joking!” 

The younger girl pulled out two passes from her bedside drawer and showed them to Wakana.

“Want to make it a date?” she asked, winking.

[blackiriswestallen]

I absolutely love your zayadora fic so I wasn't wondering if you do one for the prompt "I can't do this anymore" please? Thank you very much if you do decide to do it :)

Thanks for taking the time to read my last Zayadora fic and for requesting this one :) Sorry this took so long but I hope you like it!

Heglances back at her as she stares off in thought, absentmindedly rubbing at thepalm of her hand and he wonders if asking her to spend Christmas Eve with hisfamily was a bad idea. He hadn’t exactly planned on it, blurting it out whenthey were talking about how they both planned on spending the holiday. Herparents were throwing an adultChristmas party that she was dreading so he simply suggested that she shouldspend the day with him and his family. She didn’t say anything for what feltlike a full minute before sending him to the smoothie counter so that she couldtake some time to think.

“Twopeppermint hot chocolates.”

Heturns around to see Ms. Katy’s smiling face as she places two mugs on thecounter. Her eyes look past him for a second and when she brings them back tohim, there’s something different in her smile.

“Youknow what, these are on the house,” she says, sliding back the twenty he’dgiven her earlier. He stares down at it before shaking his head.

“Ican’t—“

Sheholds up her hand to stop him.

“IfI say on the house then it’s on the house. No questions asked.” She slides thetwenty closer to him and he slips it into his pocket reluctantly.

“Thankyou,” he says, sheepishly, taking a mug in each hand.

“Don’tmention it and good luck.” She offers him an encouraging nod in Smackle’sdirection before he finally turns and heads over to the couch. Smackle raisesher head as he approaches, wearing an anxious look on her face.

“Areyou sure you want me to meet your parents?”

 “Yeah…if that’s okay with you?” He walks over andtakes a seat next to her on the couch, setting the mugs down on the coffeetable in front of them.

“Butwe’ve only been dating for a couple of months. This doesn’t seem too soon to you?”

Heshakes his head because honestly, for him it isn’t soon enough. Sure, him andSmackle’s relationship came as a surprise to everyone, especially him, but nowthat they’re together, nothing has ever made more sense to him than being withher.  

“LookI know that spending Christmas Eve with my family is a big deal and I know thatwe agreed to take things slow but I really like you,” he says, taking both of herhands in his. “And my family really wants to meet the girl I can’t stop talkingabout.”

Asmall smile finds its way on her face and some of his unease fades away.

“OkayIsaiah,” she says, with a small smile. “I’ll meet yourfamily.”

Hepulls her in close, not being able to contain his excitement, and placing akiss on her head.

“Wellthan it’s a date.”

*****

“Youready?” he asks gently, reaching up to wipe away a snowflake that had landed onher glasses. She turns to look up at his apartment building and back to him,uncertainty reflecting in her eyes.

“Wedon’t have to go in right now if you don’t want to.”

Sheshakes her head, taking him by the hand.

“I’m ready.” Shesquares her shoulders, a determined smile on her face but he can sense herunease in how tight she’s squeezing his hand.

Theyhead up to his apartment in silence, her hand still gripping his but when hereaches for the doorknob she stops him.

“Idon’t know if I can do this,” she says, the determination of her face alreadyfading away.  “What if I mess this up somehowand they end up not liking me?”

“Notpossible,” he says. “They’re gonna love you.”

“Howcan you be so sure?”

“BecauseI…” He stops short, letting himself trail off and her eyes widen in questionat what he’s leaving unsaid.

“Look,I know they’re gonna love you because how could they not,” he says, quicklyregaining his composure. “You’re great.”

Herface relaxes into a smile then and she gives him a kiss on the cheek before turningback to the door with renewed confidence.

“Okay,let’s do this.”

Theystep through the door to see a mass of people crowding his living room; hisolder brother Aaron and Aaron’s best friend Jace having an intense game of Jenga,his little sister Emma building a gingerbread house with his cousins Jordan andNathan, and his Aunt Liz sipping at a mug of eggnog and chatting with hisparents near the kitchen. He steals a quick glance at Smackle who seems frozenin place by the sudden crowd and he can’t say that he isn’t just as taken backas she is. Aaron was supposed to be spending the holiday on campus and his AuntLiz, Jordan and Nathan must have taken a last-minute flight from Texas to gethere. He had told Smackle that it was just going to be his parents and littlesister here tonight but what was going to be a small quiet get together hadturned into something closer to a party.

"Youmust be Isadora,” his mom says, rushing over to them with a warm smile. “It’sso nice to finally meet you.”

Smackleextends a hand but his mom pulls her in for a hug instead and Smackleimmediately tenses. When his mom finally pulls away, Smackle forces a smile onher face.”

“It’snice to meet you to Mrs. Babineaux.”

“Please,you can call me Angie,” his mom says, placing a hand on her shoulder and leadingher further into the living room. He trails behind as his mom goes on tointroduce Smackle to the rest of the group.

“Wellthat’s everyone,” his mom says. “I’m headed back to the kitchen to throw thefinishing touches on our meal for tonight so make yourself at home.”

Smacklegives a nod and seems to be relieved after his mom disappears into the kitchen.Knowing she needs a break, he finds them a quiet corner of the living room andthey spend most of their time there, him cracking jokes to put her at ease.After a while, his mom comes out of the kitchen, announcing that the food isready and the group all files around to dining table. Once everyone has settledin, his dad stands, giving a look of approval over everything.

“Beforewe eat, I’d like to go around the table and have everyone tell us one goodthing that has happened to them this year.” He turns and looks at Smackle. “Sinceyou are our guest, I was thinking that maybe you could start us off Isadora.”

“Um…well…”She flashes him an almost frantic look. “Well actually I have to go to thebathroom,” she says, standing up abruptly from her seat. “So, if you wouldplease excuse me Babineaux family.”

Sheoffers the table a tight-lipped smile before turning and heading into thehallway. He watches her leave and a twinge of concern squeezes at his stomach.

Ahint of concern flashes over his dad’s face but he quickly moves on. The wholetable shares the good things they’ve experienced this year and before long foodis being passed around with still no sign of Smackle. His family slips intocomfortable conversation and he takes this moment to slip away from the table. Heheads down the hall, peeking in each room and finding each one empty. That isuntil he gets to his. He peeks his head in and find her sitting at the end ofhis bed, hand folded in her lap, her eyes focused on the wall in front of her.

“Izzy?Are you okay?”

Sheshakes her head.

 “I can’t do this anymore.”

 “Do what,” he asks, stepping further into theroom, his concern growing. He moves closer to her, hoping she’ll look at himbut she makes it a point not to.

“Ican’t go back out there,” she says softly. “I’m sorry but I feel— “

“Overwhelmed?”

Shenods, glancing over at him nervously.

“It’s okay,” he says, taking aseat next to her. “You have nothing to be sorry about. If anyone should besorry, it’s me. So, I’m sorry and you know what? We can stay in here as long asyou want.”

Shegives him a small smile.

“Thankyou,” she says, resting her head on his shoulder. He wraps his arm around herand they sit there together, him gently rocking them as he softly hums some ofher favorite Christmas songs in her ear. They’re so perfectly comfortabletogether that neither even thinks about heading back out to join the groupuntil there’s a light tap at his door.

“Doyou guys wanna decorate cookie with me?”

Emmapokes her head into the room and he looks to Smackle for the answer.

“Ofcourse we do,” she says, lifting her head from his shoulder.

Emma’sbreaks out into a grin and she runs over and grabs her by the hand, and beforehe can stop her starts pulling Smackle off in the direction of the kitchen.Smackle stiffens the minute his sister takes hold of her but she turns andgives him a reassuring nod, giving in to Emma’s excitement. He enters thekitchen after them, walking in to see Emma already shoving a plate of cookiesand a bowl of frosting Smackle’s way. He holds back for a moment, watching asthey fall into conversation.

“So,Emma, are you excited to see what presents Santa is going to bring youtomorrow?”

Emmascrunches up her nose.

“Idon’t believe in Santa anymore,” she says, matter-of-factly. “I know it’s justmommy and daddy. Besides I’m a big girl now so I’m too old to believe in Santa.”Emma pauses, looking up from her cookie. “Do you remember when you stoppedbelieving in him?”

Shewatches Smackle, waiting for her to answer.

“Ohum…” She glances back at him, looking a little embarrassed. “I think I wasabout 12 when I finally stopped believing in him.”

Agiggle escapes Emma’s lips and she goes back to spreading green frosting ontoher Christmas tree shaped cookie.

“You’re weird.“

Smackle’sbrow furrows, her face a little hurt.

“Heythat wasn’t very nice Em,” he says, coming over and putting his arm around her.

Emmalooks over at him confused.

“Oh,I’m sorry Smackle. Ididn’t mean it in a mean way,” she says innocently. “I meant it in a I like youkind of way.”

“It’s okay,” Smackle says, thecrease in her brow relaxing. “I like you too.”

Emma’s smile widens,along with his own.

“Good,”Emma says, going back to frosting her cookie. “Because I really like having youaround.”

“Sodo I,” he says, pulling her a little closer. She looks up at him with a softsmile, pausing for a second to give him a meaningful look.

“Doyou want to know one good thing that’s happened to me this year?”

“Sure,”he says, his smile matching hers.

“It’syou.”

Heleans down to kiss her, much to Emma’s annoyance, but he doesn’t care. She’sthe one good thing that’s happened to him this year too and knowing that shefeels the same way about him is all he can ever ask for.