#it’s lonely on this side of. idk your late 20s haha

[marvus-xoloto]

melancholy night. My friends bailed on me when we were supposed to meet up for goth night, and me and my gf are long distance which like. Jesus Christ I love her to pieces but I can not recommend the experience 0/10 long distance sucks

Anyway. This fit was to cute to not show off to someone, so I’m showing it off to the void

[levinneheart]

Never loved you

Shinsou Hitoshi x Reader (College AU)

Warning/s: Characters are 20+; slight IzuOcha ship; Fluff; Angst; implied Depression; may or may not been based on experience

And yes, the title is a Song by Evie Clair. You’re quirk is smth to do w/ Empath and it’s not hero material by norms.

You never expect to encounter him. Out of all the people you could’ve met, you didn’t believe you that you could met him online out of all the places.

It started when you became friends with a group of talented singers and musicians as you also joined into the fun – abeit not as talented as them, you tried your best and put your all into it. Not long after that, you began knowing the group which consists of all the previous students of Class 1-A and some other students of UA and soon, Mina invited you to join their group as an “honorary member” as you lived in another country which you gladly accepted.

Sometimes, you would join the voice call and be overwhelmed by the amount of voices blasting in your earphone. Sometimes, you would listen silently as everyone talked over each other while Bakugou screamed and make small explosions that literally makes everyone deaf. Rip earphone users. You loved and treasured these moments with them, although you didn’t know what they looked like.

It wasn’t until he joined that made you the happiest. You were currently teasing Midoriya and Uraraka, saying they were cute crushing on each other, much to Uraraka’s denial and Midoriya’s stuttering. Chuckling, you continue with your impromptu storytelling of their love blossoming until both of them are beyond speechless. You decided to stop when Bakugou joined the conversation.

“Yo, Mina invited other damn extra!” he informed in his usual loud voice.

“Kaachan, you shouldn’t talk to Shinsou like that! He’s listening you know!” Midoriya scolded softly.

You checked and someone was listening in, they had a cat picture as a profile pic and you couldn’t helped but smack yourself in embarrassment as you didn’t noticed earlier while Bakugou and Midoriya beefed it out in the voice chat. You muted them, not wanting to hear they’re yelling of being the no. 1 hero.

“I agree with you btw.” chatted the one with cat pic. “It’s so obvious, it makes me roll my eyes that they remain oblivious to each other’s feelings.”

“IKR!” You typed back, forgetting your embarrassment.

“You’re not from UA, are you?”

“No. Actually, I’m just an honorary member as Mina says since I live miles away haha.”

“I see. I’m Shinsou, Shinsou Hitoshi btw.”

“(l/n) (f/n)! Nice to meet’cha!”

You didn’t know how it happened but you felt an instant connection to him and you two hitted it off from then. You two would always chat in your private message and it quickly became unnoticed by the others, they even started to ship is and make an official name for the ship. You played oblivious as did he, although both of you already know about it.

After two weeks, he called you bb and you couldn’t helped but blush before awkwardly telling him: you really really liked him. At first, he didn’t say anything so you were half-expecting him to reject you and that’ll be it. But surprised, he told you: he liked you back. However you both decided that it’s too early for a relationship so you two now have a peace of mind that at least the other feels the same way.

It was fun, interacting with him, sending him uwus and heart memes, etc. You learned that he’s working as a pro hero while you studied in university. You learned he’s a gamer who sings, plays the guitar and ukulele ngl i can honesty see this as canon. And he plays basketball and soccer just pretend sksksksksk.

You two would schedule voice calls as you both were busy, it would always play out as – you would come home late and wait for him to get out of work as you two chatted away before actually getting in the call once he’s home. You would usually ask about he’s day and about his job and he’d reply with his usual deep tired voice that you’ve grown to love curses my deep voice kink.

This went for two months. Until one night while you were staying up late studying, he chatted your name. This was the first time he called you by your real name, usually he would call you by your username or “bb” as usual so this sudden change set butterflies in your stomach.

“Yes, Toshi?” you replied before teasingly sent, “This is the 1st time you called me by my name haha.”

“I wanted to tell you something important so I thought it’d catch your attention.”

“Well, what is it?”

“I love you.”

Without thinking you typed, “I love you too.” and sent it before realizing what he meant. “Do you meant that as a friend?” You immediately sent.

“Do you want me to say that?”

You blushed hard, you can imagine him chuckling at your stupid question. “Uhhh no??? Idk??? You’re not joking, right??”

“I wouldn’t have said it, if I didn’t mean it.”

“Really?” You couldn’t believe it so you just had to ask.

“Yes.”

“Tell it to me again plz 🥺👉👈.”

“I love you, (y/n).”

“I love you too, Toshi.”

“In advance, I’m so sorry for being a weirdo.”

“But you’re my weirdo.”

Cue squealing. But after that, it went spiraling down. A month and a week went by without communication from him; no updates, no greetings, no nothing. You decided to confront him about your concerns. You understand that he’s busy at work and you were always supportive and understanding at his job were his top priority.

But couldn’t he at least spare you a few minutes of his free time, maybe when he woke up or during his breaks. You didn’t ask for more so you were slightly disappointed with him as it worried you that he worked 6am-2am everday without holiday breaks besides Nov.1-2.

You voiced those concerns to him, he apologized and you forgave him. But this behavior of his continued on and this made you sad, other would say you’re depressed but you were too occupied with thoughts of him; his voice; the feeling he gave you, etc.

For another month and three days, you confront him again but this time he left your pm and blocked you. You panicked as negative thoughts flooding your mind.

Did you do anything wrong? You weren’t too clingy, right? Your chat wasn’t too honest, right?

You somehow managed to calm your mind after a couple of minutes and through logical evaluation and elimination, you concluded that you didn’t do anything wrong. But the questions remain: Why did he leave? Why did he blocked you?

For the longest time, you couldn’t answer that. You spend your time drifting off from reality and to your memories with Toshi while day-by-by you lessen your interactions with your online friends, seemingly just vanishing from thin air.

You felt empty, a void of loneliness filled you as you went your way through your own life, not knowing what to do with yourself or even feel. Why did it come to this? Everything went fine, you two were happy so why? Why did he suddenly leave you all alone like that?

———————————————————————

Today was the reunion of UA batch [number]. Shinsou stood in the far corner of the Gym Gamma, his back leaning against the wall as he observed everyone and everything. He noticed an unfamiliar yet familiar (h/c) locks, he watch as you talked with Sero, Tokoyami, Shouji, and Ojirou. You were especially close to Ojirou, you practically by his side with your arm linked with his.

He didn’t know why he was growing irritated and angry at sight of you being in someone else’s arms when he damn well know that you deserve to move on after what he’d done to you after all those three years but still… He had hoped that you actually waited for him.

You were suddenly called by Kirishima as you leaned towards Ojirou and whispered a soft ‘see you’ before walking towards to him.

“(Y/n)-chan! I want you to meet someone!” He said as he dragged you towards where a lone lavender haired man stood before running away. You opened your mouth to objects but it was already too late, he was gone. You looked at the stranger and felt that same connection when you met him, you knew. Although not having to see his face, you just knew that it was him: Shinsou.

“(L/n) (f/n)! Nice to meet’cha!” You cheered brightly, just like when you first introduced yourself to him.

“I know.” he replied. “I’m Shinsou Hitoshi.” God, why I am so lame. He thought.

“Oh! Nice to finally and officially meet you, Shinsou-san!” You smiled as you raised your glass towards him.

Why did you have to call him like a stranger? And not the usual ‘Toshi’ you would always call him?

He clicked his glass with yours and took a sip as his eyes spotted a shiny accessory on your ring finger, making his heart froze. That’s why. You were engaged. Of course, why wouldn’t you be? You were ever so patient, understanding and supportive. It didn’t even surprise him.

When you finished you glass, you excused yourself as Jirou announces the last song for tonight that is written by the guess before she yelled out your name and you climbed up the stage.

“Love do you know?

We've been growing apart

And you should know

That for me that's hard

Darling I'm scared if I let you go, oh

This will be goodbye for good

It's easier this way

I'll spare my heart some pain

Even though I know it isn't true

It's easier this way

I'll spare my heart some pain

Even though I know it isn't true

‘I never loved you’

And I won't say

That I knew it from the start

So you can say

That we weren't torn apart

'Cause for me, oh it's easier to bleed, oh

When I know you can sleep so I keep telling myself

It's easier this way

I'll spare my heart some pain

Even though I know it isn't true

It's easier this way

I'll spare my heart some pain

Even though I know it isn't true

I feel numb when the drums slow down

Oh, leave me dumb so I can't tell myself

Myself, oh

It's easier this way

I'll spare my heart some pain

I already know that it just isn't true

It's easier this way

I'll spare my heart some pain

Even though I know it isn't true

‘I never loved you’.”

Part 2, maybe???

[autumnpleaves]

Do you have any song suggestions?

Also Achilles come down is one of my favorite songs right now, i’ve been listening to it on repeat for days! (So yay for tons of people finding cool songs!)

(Ignore me purposefully not answering this ask for a *long* time because I was busy collecting and compiling songs to suggest. Thinking of making it a Spotify playlist so you can listen more easily :)) 

I DOOOO!!!

And YEE! 

I have yet to do a full week of listening to that song, but it’s soooo gooddd!! 

(YAY INDEED!! :DDD) 

I’ve been listening to much more like pop and rap style songs lately, so 0-0  Be warned XD 

Okie! Song suggestions:  Warning: I kinda went overboard with this there’s like.. 50+ songs under cut. I might make a playlist for easier listening, honestly? Sure. Why not. 

1) Literally any song from Wilbur Soot (Understandable if it’s not some people’s style of songs, but Internet Ruined Me is a bop) (Also, Wilbur has two profiles on Spotify [Why? I don’t know] but it’s Wilbur and Wilbur Soot) 

2) Ghostwriter - RJD2  (Am listening to it at the moment while I type it out. Still searching while typing for more suggestions :D) 

3) All the Pretty Girls - KALEO  (Cottagecore vibesssss~) 

4) Canyon Moon - Harry Styles (And literally anything from Harry Styles, honestly, his songs are just so ~aesthetic~)

5) Out of My League - Fitz and The Tantrum 

6) Ultimately - Khai Dreams  (This is my favorite song, like ahjfdlad it’s good, the riffssss) 

7) Argeers - The Fyre and Lightning Consort  (Classical songs? Folk songs? In my playlist? More likely than you think) 

8) Sorry Haha I Fell Asleep - Egg (Pretty sure most people have heard this song before) 

9) The Jellyfish Song - Caroline Konstnar (Credits to Yawn for finding this song) 

10) Glad You Came - The Wanted  (Oldie but a Classic) 

11) Where the Watermelons Rot - Madelynne Whitt 

12) Malibu Nights - LANY 

13) Ancient Airs and Dances: Suite III, Siciliana  (Another classical? I’m on a rollll~ 😎)

14) Symphony No. 4 in A Major, Op. 90, MWV N16 “Italian”: I. Allegro vivace

15) Alice in Wonderland: Act I: Alice and her Sister  (Will this list just end up being a classical list from here on out? Perhaps, I’ll try not to though) 

16) invisible string - Taylor Swift  (Honestly the whole new album is a bop, go listen to it if you haven’t :D) 

17) Roses - The Chainsmokers 

18) Prelude - TwoSetViolin 

19) It Ain’t Me - Selena Gomez 

20) Echo - Talisk  (I literally found them just today, wow. It’s good) 

21) short kings anthem - blackbear (This one is a little out there, but the chorus I like :)) 

22) Can’t Sleep love - Pentatonix 

23) In Case You Don’t Live Forever - Ben Platt  (Personally, I don’t really like his version, his voice in this one is pretty eh, there’s this one other version that I really like, forgot which one though Ah- by Ryan Stewart) 

24) Hidden In The Sand - Tally Hall (Iconic animatic song)

25) Train Wreck - James Arthur

26) Producer Man - Lyn Lapid 

27) Ophelia - The Lumineers 

28) Arcade - Duncan Laurence 

29) God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen - Pentatonix 

30) Be Around me - Will Joseph Cook 

31) Overwhelmed - Royal & the Serpent 

32) Dandelions - Ruth B 

33) The Grey - Annelle Staal 

34) Take Yours, I’ll Take Mine - Matthew Mole 

35) It’s Simple, Child - Matthew Mole 

36) Running After You - Matthew Mole 

37) Hold On - Chord Overstreet 

38) Dreams - Joakim Karud 

39) Everywhere at the end of time - The Caretaker (It’s like a playlist of samples) (I personally haven’t listened to all of them, but it’s said to be really good) 

40) Brooklyn In The Summer - Aloe Blacc 

41) starstruck - biosphere 

42) SLOW DANCING IN THE DARK - Joji 

43) Sad - Bo Burham 

44) Tiny Dancer - Elton John 

45) Shotgun - George Ezra 

46) Paradise - George Ezra 

47) Life’s A Happy Song - Mickey Rooney 

48) Classic - MKTO 

49) Able Sister (From “Animal Crossing”)

50) Casin - glue70  (Meme music? Meme music) 

51) Inside a House - Amy Turk 

52) Mr. Blue Sky - Electric Light Orchestra 

53) Buttercup - Hippo Campus 

54) watch - Billie Eilish 

55) Be My Mistake - The 1975

56) IDK You Yet - Alexander 23 

57) Fire - Barns Courtney 

58) The Fall - half alive

59) Beige - Yoke Lore 

60) Marlboro Nights - Lonely God 

61) LEMONS - Brye 

62) Mariposa - Peach Tree Rascals

63) Can I have a Ride Home? I’m at a party and I Don’t Know Any1 - carpetgarden 

64) Down the Line - Beach Fossils 

65) Lucy - Still Woozy 

66) To My Parents - Anna Clendening 

67) Honey Moon - Birds in the Airport 

68) Interlude (For You) - Ashton Edminster

69) (Heh 69, nice ;)) Clouds - Zach Sobiech 

70) if you’re feeling lonely - Chance Pena 

0-0 

Did I go overboard with this? Yes. I do not regret a single thing. 

Hope you enjoy some of the songs I picked though! XD 

Bonus: 

Written in the Sand - Old Dominion 

The Other Side of Paradise - Glass Animals 

Rat - Penelope Scott

[yathinkbruh]

[7/2/2012 11:57:28 PM] Stephen: went to a 88 jiuba with some chinese friends, guy i met on weixin invited me. we went to some place in luohu which is right next to hongkong, that ***** didnt give me directions so i wandered the streets for 30 minutes until a taxi drivery finally directed me to the right place. had to pay fucking 200 kuai for the table we got, couldnt get in at first cuz they said i was wearing flipflops that werent allowed for dress code. i put on some size 3 chinese converse ripoffs and walked in with half of my foot sticking out like i didnt give a fuck, was k and then changed back to flipflops. drank this delicious juice and whiskey or something blend, could drink that shit all day which we pretty much did, not a lot of alcohol so we probly drank glasses each. the club was fuckin huge, had epic video screens with victoria secret runaway cameos going on along with music videos to the trash top 40 they like to play here. chiense people all stood around at the tables waiting for their friend to arrive. even though its a bar no one actually looks for others to mingle with and instead sticks to their friend circle only. i went around the bar trying to find a girl to coem to our table to drink with us but her guardian guy friend w/e was too jealous and butthurt so he gave me a hand motion to go away..lul. we played dice game a fuckton, for the first hour it was just 3 guys derping in the club looking around like fools. eventually their female friends came but not girlfriends, some randmo hoes who just came and went after playing some drinking games with us. didnt really make sense. i was asking one of the girls if she was having fun why she wanted to come to the bar if they were just going to stand around, shes like im just bored i guess. truth be told no one really dances there or does anything, they just personify awkwardness as they look around trying to make new acquaintances but its ultimlately impossible since they cling to their circle of friends. the employees at this bar were really fun & friendly and danced more than the guests. in the bathroom this guy tried to give me a stick of gum while iw as peeing and then led me around at the end demanding a tip. i gave him 5 kuai for the lulz. i made eye contact multiple times with one of the better looking girls in the club (probably late 20s), most were fugly and it was like 70/30 m/f...but she was with several other friends making it impossible for her to leave them and actually talk to me. i left after 1 cuz i have work tomorrow at 830

[7/2/2012 11:57:47 PM] Stephen: and this place was super chinese

no foreigners and every1 was speaking some trash dialect

including the guy i was with, fucking impossible to understand

he didnt slow down at all

[7/2/2012 11:58:06 PM] Stephen: i might as well have been at the train station

such a cluster

the club was so legit

live singers every half hour

good sound system

girl pretending to dj on the side

weith some beats headphones

chinese djs at these clubs are good

the people who go there are riffraff though

[7/2/2012 11:58:23 PM] Stephen: i was going along at the beginning just to be nice/ thought it would be an adventure to hang out w/ random guy

i was sitting on subway

he looking at me

i was sitting

as soon as seat opens he sits his fat ass next to me

starts talking like hey where you from what you doing in china

so hes this random businessman from dubai who's lonely and comes here a lot to the exhibition center

he has no friends or family

hes kind of awkward and creepy

but i have nothing better to do

 21 hours agoStephen Brownlee

and hes the same, finished for the day

so im like k ill go eat w you

maybe you're just lonely like i was today

i had to go exploring alone cuz no1 would hang out

(got a lot of weixin contacts that way though)

anyway we go to restaurant

hes kind of picky, has zero understanding of china, still kind of weird

we talk about general stuff

eat at a muslim restaurant

lol

he takes forever finding it

when i could have found it..

w/e

we took a taxi there

anyway hes just a fuckup in general and you wonder what hes doing in china

then he says some legitimate stuff about its hard to find true friends in china

every1 just wants money from you

and im like yeah i know that feel bro

so i sort of think maybe he just feeling really down cuz he has no friends

then we leave the restaurant and hes like where to go now

i told him i wanted to explore the city and hes like im tired

need to rest

then wanted to go to a hotel with him

also when we walked he would lead my with his arm awkwardly

he was like we can go back and rest, get a hotel

im like ...

his english is shit

so eventually he mades some super roundabout attempt at giving me a straight request

we just go to hotel herherher

this guy was middle aged and fat

anyway hes like i want to kiss your eyes

creepy motherfucker

messages not sending

then im like the fuck breh

oh before he was like

like what hes looking for

hes like haha just joking

im like uhh...

then hes like you arent gay

im like what the fuck are you even saying breh

lol

ok now no messages are sending

what the fuck

sorry idk how much you saw

anyway before he was like we believe meeting someone is part of gods plan

me meeting you today

god planned that to happen

lul...

k breh

anyway i was looking for an escape

at one point he was gonna get a taxi for us and i started walking in the other direction

waved as i left

he didnt follow

thank god

so i got the fuck out of there

like what hes looking for

me meeting you today

im like uhh...

what the fuck

messages not sending

[7/2/2012 11:58:39 PM] Stephen: hes like haha just joking

then hes like you arent gay

im like what the fuck are you even saying breh

lol

ok now no messages are sending

sorry idk how much you saw

anyway before he was like we believe meeting someone is part of gods plan

oh before he was like

then im like the fuck breh

creepy motherfucker

[7/2/2012 11:58:53 PM] Stephen: we just go to hotel herherher

waved as i left

he didnt follow

at one point he was gonna get a taxi for us and i started walking in the other direction

anyway i was looking for an escape

k breh

this guy was middle aged and fat

creepy motherfucker

then im like the fuck breh

[7/2/2012 11:59:13 PM] Stephen: anyway

as soon as he was out of sight

i ran

lol

and got on the first bus i saw

oh man

but then my roommates was like

awww you shoulda gotten his contact info

im looking for rich guys from dubai

can get a lot of money of them

lol

i gave him my fone #

at the start

we'll see...

he might give up

he complains about being alone but the whole time i was thinking yeah who would want to be with you you creepy fuck

i was feeling very down today cuz unable to find friends to hang out with all weekend

so i felt a little empathy

alright thats pretty much it

[sim-songs]

“hi, I’m not from the US” ask set

So I wanted to answer all of these, because why not you know? @dreamsongsims now you can learn more about Belgium ;)

It’s under the read more so I don’t clog up your dashboards.

1. favourite place in your country? Honestly my home. I am living in Antwerp right now with the bf and I honestly love it, even though we aren’t really going outside much right now bc of the virus. I do miss the green and the “not city” smell haha

2. do you prefer spending your holidays in your country or travel abroad? I am okay with both. My family always goes on vacations during holidays, the last few years we’ve gone to Thailand for example but I’m more interested in staying closer to home. I LOVE Norway and want to go on holiday there again but it’s expensive.

3. does your country have access to sea? Yes. 67 kilometers of ugly “badsteden” lol (literally means bathing towns). To be honest I like the coast in the Netherlands better because it isn’t as gray and superficial.

4. favourite dish specific for your country? A nice “frietje van de frituur” (french fries), specifically a “frietje speciaal”, that’s french fries with ketchup, mayo and thinly sliced onion.

5. favourite song in your native language? I hate Belgian music, absolutely despise every Dutch song on the radio. But if I have to pick one its Goud from Bazart, it’s an older song by now but it’s one of the few I did not mind listening to.

6. most hated song in your native language? As soon as I read this I immediately thought of Banaan from Jebroer. Just shudders ugh. But really all Dutch songs in this style.

7. three words from your native language that you like the most? I’m gonna paste my earlier answer here: Hmm that's a hard one for me... Gezellig is a word I've always liked bc it doesn't have a real translation, just like cozy or smt. Another one I like is grassprietjes, meaning blades of grass bc it sounds funny and kinda rolls of the tongue and non dutch people will never be able to properly say that! and a third is eenzaam, meaning lonely. I don't really know why I like that one tbh

8. do you get confused with other nationalities? if so, which ones and by whom? I don’t really remember ever being confused for another nationality. I have read that Dutch sounds like German on crack, and that Belgian Dutch is easier than Netherlands Dutch for foreigners.

9. which of your neighbouring countries would you like to visit most/know best? Visit most: France and Germany, I have been to them both already but never for long and a long time ago. Know best: Probably the Netherlands. We share a language after all so we share some cultural things! (Does Temptation Island count as a cultural thing lol?)

10. most enjoyable swear word in your native language? Mmm tough one to answer, because me and my bf are big English speakers so most of our swearing is of the “fuck” variety. I like “godverdomme” (god dammit) and what my dad sometimes says “godverdomme miljaarde nondeju” (there is literally nothing I can do to translate this)

11. favourite native writer/poet? I can’t think of any poets, but I like the writer Valerie Eykmans, specifically the book “Verloren Maandag”

12. what do you think about English translations of your favourite native prose/poem? So I really like “Het Weer” by Hugo Claus, I even have a poster in our living room with the poem in his handwriting.

Weather

How was the weather in the country without you? At first mist fell over the concrete mountains.

Then the sun hung like mist over the mother-of-pearl sand.

Then the sky moved and became clammy as your armpits.

A lightning closed my teeth.

And everywhere the smell rose of the big animals that don't exist

unless in the ringing of your ear, in the rustle of your hair.

That's how it was back there without you. You are the air pressure and the dew and the snow in my skull.

It does not rhyme much in Dutch, it’s more about the rhythm of the words, so as far as the translation goes it’s pretty accurate in it’s contents but the rhythm is definitely off in the translated version

13. does your country (or family) have any specific superstitions or traditions that might seem strange to outsiders? What immediately comes to mind is the whole “Sinterklaas” problem where every year the discourse starts again whether or not the “Zwarte Pieten” are racist. Honestly not gonna comment on that because it’s not my place to feel offended or otherwise about this issue. Another thing that’s a bit more lighthearted is the “jaarmarkt” in our hometown, it’s like a big market that always finds place on the first sunday of the year. There’s a “stoet” (procession) with the walking orchestra, horses, horses and carriages, dogs and a whole load of tractors all going to get blessed at the church where the pastor throws holy water on everyone passing by. I have a love hate relationship with this tradition because it’s always freezing, and the tractors take forever to end. Oh and the main street of our town is completely closed of and there’s a big market with stalls in the street and everyone gets drunk of of the “jenevers” from the Scouts stalls lol.

14. do you enjoy your country’s cinema and/or TV? Not really, the only thing I used to watch was “Helden van Hier: Brandweer” (Heroes from here: fire brigade), it was just following the fire brigade around to fires and what not.

15. a saying, joke, or hermetic meme that only people from your country will get? ah je moe kakken moe je kakken he 😉

16. which stereotype about your country you hate the most and which one you somewhat agree with? Hate: Belgians are small-minded people not interested in anything going on outside of their home. Just not true at all. Sure there are people like that but every country has those. Agree: Belgians are hard to get to know. I hear this one a lot and I can see why people say that.

17. are you interested in your country’s history? Copied from an earlier answer: I am interested in history in general, it was one of my favourite classes in high school. I do like learning about Belgian history, mainly because Belgian history is, in one term, a messy bitch

18. do you speak with a dialect of your native language? Yes, I speak with a “Kempisch” accent, but in general I’m still pretty understandable.

19. do you like your country’s flag and/or emblem? what about the national anthem? I really don’t care about our flag, the Flemish Lion is being overly politicized to exclude the Walons lately and our national anthem is meh, no one can sing it and it’s more of a joke to people my age I think.

20. which sport is The Sport in your country? Soccer (or football idk) and veldrijden (literally field riding, but cyclo-cross as the translation) GO Wout van Aert! (idc abt sports but he’s local to me so)

21. if you could send two things from your country into space, what would they be? I’m not sure if this means you want to get rid of it or if you want to memorialize it? Getting rid of “Manneken Pis” because he’s stupid and memorializing an entire classic “frietkot”

22. what makes you proud about your country? what makes you ashamed? Proud: Our cultural diversity and lately our banding together during the crisis Ashamed: All the racists (looking at you Vlaams Belang)

23. which alcoholic beverage is the favoured one in your country? BEER, ALL THE BEER

24. what other nation is joked about most often in your country? Honestly our own nation is most joked about for good reasons. Flemish joke about the Walons and vice versa, and everyone jokes about the joke that is our government.

25. would you like to come from another place, be born in another country? I’m happy where I’m at now, so no.

26. does your nationality get portrayed in Hollywood/American media? what do you think about the portrayal? I have never seen any prominent representation of Belgian in a Hollywood movie.

27. favourite national celebrity? Probably Tom Waes

28. does your country have a lot of lakes, mountains, rivers? do you have favourites? We dont have much haha, we have rivers, most notably “De Shelde” which runs though Antwerp not too far from my apparment.

29. does your region/city have a beef with another place in your country? Flemish and Walons have always had beef, so yeah.

30. do you have people of different nationalities in your family? I had a phase where I was into genealogy and it’s safe to say I’m one of the most Belgian Belgians out there lol, especially on mothers side her family literally has been living in the same place since the 1600′s and my grandparents had never seen the ocean until my parents took them.

[purplesurveys]

841

All About the Letter L

Please List! (at least one) Animals I Like: Lions, lemurs, lamb, and a special mention to Lhasa Apsos because Gabie’s family has one, even though Harley never particularly liked me haha. Foods I Like: LUMPIA, liempo, lasagna, and lobster.    I Know Someone Who’s (jobs): Lab assistant, librarian, lawyer, and lecturer. I Wouldn’t Mind Visiting: Luxembourg, Laos, and Lisbon, Portugal. Sometimes I Feel: Lethargic, let-down, lonely.

Music I Listen To: Lady Gaga, LANY, Lauv, Lykke Li, Lianne La Havas, and Lea Salonga. Movies I’ve Seen: Love Actually, The Little Mermaid, Lolita, Lucy, Life is Beautiful, Les Misérables. Names I Like: Lily, Lorin, Loretta, Lucia. And now, onto the random questions! 1. Have you ever locked yourself out of your house before? Not on purpose. Once when I was in fourth grade the school bus dropped me off but there was no one home (at that point I wasn’t given my own key yet) so my sister and I had to wait around half an hour till someone got back home. Other times I always had a house key with me. 2. Do you like green leaves or autumn colored leaves? Idk we don’t get autumn, so I’ll go with green. 3. Are you a sore loser at games? Yeaaaaaaaah haha it’s an ugly fucking trait of mine. I’ve treated everything like a competition for as long as I can remember and I was the worst kid to play with. 4. Are you a good listener? Yes. I prefer to listen than to do the talking, so I’ve gotten better at it through the years. 5. Who do you like? Who do you love? I like my friends; I love my dogs and my girlfriend. 6. Lamps - do you have wall ones, table ones, or freestanding tall ones in your house? My parents have wall lamps in their room. My mom was actually looking at floor lamps for the living room just recently, but she didn’t push through with buying one, idk why. 7. How often do you use the library? Back in my first year it was my sanctuary because I had no friends. The library was the only place where you can be alone and not feel judged for it. When my circle got bigger, I’d only go there to print stuff and that happened at least once a week. 8. Do you own a label maker? Do you label everything to stay organized? No, I don’t own one. Funny how my favorite TV characters – Monica Geller and Amy Santiago – both have a penchant for being organized and have their own label makers though haha. 9. Do you prefer lip gloss or lipstick? Lip gloss. Lipstick has always looked too strong on me. 10. Have you ever done the limbo? As a kid. It’s not a common game here but because we saw it a lot when we’d watch kids’ shows from the west, my siblings, cousins, and I would play it. 11. Have you ever played “The Floor is Lava”? Sure. 12. Is YOUR mama a llama? An occasionally emotionally abusive one, sure. 13. Do you lick your ice cream or just bite into it like some sort of savage? I take forever to eat ice cream so I’ve learned to bite it so that it doesn’t end up dripping all over my hands. 14. Do you know anyone who has lung cancer? Walter White. Hahaaaaaaa seriously though, no one. 15. Have you ever gotten lost before? Yeah, but those instances were nothing Waze couldn’t fix. I think I’d get an anxiety attack if I ever got legitimately lost with no map or app to help me. 16. Do you lounge around like a lazy sloth? If I know I’ve earned the right to, yes. 17. What little things make you happy? Driving through green lights, seeing a smiley face on my Starbucks cup, kind strangers, free cuts, finding a top I thought I’ve lost, babies waving at me. 18. Are you a loud or quiet person? I can be both, depending on who I’m with, what the circumstances are, and how comfortable I am. 19. What do you like to eat for lunch? I’ve skipped on lunch since March since my family eats breakfast really late lol. But back in school, since I’m usually on the go during lunch hours, I’ll just get a plate of instant noodles with a side of kwek-kwek. 20. Are you a list-maker? Yaaas. Love lists. 21. Have you ever had lice? Just when I was around 10 when I still played outside.  22. How much weight can you lift? I’m a really small person so not a lot, but by the end of my PE class last year I was able to deadlift either 80 or 90 lbs, I’m not sure which. It’s not a big number but I weigh 90 lbs myself sksksksk so I’m happy enough with being able to lift my own weight haha. 23. The last pair of shoes you wore - did they have laces? Yep. 24.  Do you litter? Never. 25.  Have you ever written or received a love letter? No, actually. Gab has other ways of expressing herself so I’m okay with it. 26. Are you a liar? How often do you tell lies? I’m honestly quite incapable of lying. I can say little white lies like “I liked your article” but anything beyond that I just feel too guilty doing. 27.  what do you do when you feel low on energy? Spend time with Kimi, get away from my phone, and lie down somewhere. 28.  Have you ever ridden in a limousine before? I haven’t. 29.  How often do you do laundry? My parents do it once a week. 30. How many languages can you speak fluently? Two. With enough context clues I can read a bit of Spanish and Cebuano, but I definitely can’t speak them. [a-zebra-is-a-striped-horse]

[guu]

dear future spiral,

a letter for my own reference once i’m not with charles anymore

hey dude! it’s me, you! with an important list of reminders from the past that you cannot forget, okay? so if you’re feeling scared, lonely, questioning your decision to leave, please read this over.

if you’re finding yourself wishing you had charles around, be it for emotional or practical support, i’m here to tell you right here and now on this sunny day of april 27th, 2020, that you need to take off those rose tinted glasses.

we both knew that leaving would mean you’d eventually start to glorify charles at least a bit since this is a HUGE step. (and forward, mind you!)

you’ve entered more than a new chapter in your life; you’re in a completely different story arc, and i’m so fucking proud of you. i’m scared rn about making the change, but look at you; you DID it!! absolute mad lad.

and lemme tell ya, this morning was the one rare time you asked charles if he would take the morning hours and let you sleep in a tad bit. he did respond the night before sweetly, saying ‘of course love’. now lemme remind ya that this morning he responded to ur prodding and calling out to with a resounding fucking nothing. he opened his eyes as u sighed and got up, no doubt stayed up too late playing with jaron. fucking. videos gaem.

anywho!! i AM rambling! let’s get to this sweet list of reminders you need:

first off, you don’t miss having charles’ help. you miss the idea that he may have potentially helped you, but i can say that he barely fucking did, alright? it was drops in the barrel, no, no even that. more accurate to say that every once in awhile when you were completely overwhelmed he would bring a bucket over to the barrel and toss the water out over it, and it’d splash EVERYWHERE, and well, yeah SOME of that water would land in the barrel.

his help quite often left cleanup work, came too late, and made u wish u just did it urself, and you learned to just do it urself. because we knew better.

he’d bitch and moan and groan when we asked him to do things after getting upset when he’d sit on his ass for hours, we’d bring it up again and he’d say ‘oh i forgot’ or ‘yeah yeah i already said i’d do it’ remember that? haha

“oh his cooking was so good...” bitch.... so is urs. u absorbed all his best recipes, u know how to read a recipe now. ur fine.

‘but muh anxiety... he was rly dependable to get things done for me’

no, no sweetheart please... he wasn’t. you really wanted him to be a wall you could lean on, but he wasn’t. any good he did for you did not outweight the bad.

don’t fondly remember that day you came home from work and collapsed on the floor from exhaustion and he came over, took off your shoes, and helped you into bed.

remember those heated “arguments”

notice the p..it’s early the air quotes w/e.

they were always so fucking one sided bc of how stubborn he was that he broke you every time. drove u insane and deeper and deeper into depression.

yes, it was 11 years of ur life u spent together. 11 years in hell bc we didn’t get out sooner. we shared a lot together, we shared our lives, we knew everything abt each other.

he knew how badly u needed to be who you are, a man, and forced you away from it.

i doubt i need to remind u of the real early stuff like how he slowly isolated u from all ur friends when u were pregnant with xander at the ripe young age of fucking seventeen. the 20 yr old creep. yes honey, the gap mattered okay? it was still messed up even if it felt like we were close enough in age u couldnt blame him.

he graduated highschool (and remember he was held back a year) and the next year that fucking sad sack creep picked u up after school, this lil 16 year old, and he shoved you in an evening dress, smeared lipstick on u, and made you a mother before u were ready.

you pulled it off, we love our kids!! yeah!! but don’t let that make u forget that this was poison from the beginning. and it didn’t get better. he just changed in which ways he was awful.

let’s bust out a classic. look at this photograph

aww so sweet! that was a lovely day :)

it was Not. a lovely day. you two traveled behind brooke around the park for the photoshoot while he chewed you out. the whole fucking time. in between photos. he was bitter and pissy. he was a slimy 20 year old scolding you for not being mature enough. i canNOT stress that enough!

now then,

remember all the late bills? all the times geoff came over talking abt back rent bc charles was lazy on payments and never shared the financial shit with u cause he didn’t kno how to do it without stressing u out like mad? remember all the stupid shit he burned money on? it was way more than the 1k gacha, that’s just. that’s just the stupidest.

remember how messy he’d let the house get. bc he wouldn’t be proactive and help u clean. it had to be a giant sweep like, once a month, and he would act so exhausted awaiting ur praise. he’s a fucking SLOB...

boy, idk what else to put here but i think i’ve done a good job for ya. thinkin abt all this stuff while i still have to deal with it is a god damn headache.

i can’t wait to be you.

i’m really fucking proud of you. thank you. thank you. thank you.

thank you.

with endless love,

past spiral

[uberoll-oystercrackers]

random larsadie headcanon

so anyway i was bullshitting in a larsadie discord when someone asked for prompts. i was like, lol, “lars and sadie go to church”.

but now that’s it has been like a day i was thinking about it, and.. actually wow!! cute! cutecutecuuuuute!!!! i like this idea actually!!!

idk about all the specifics but i love the idea of Lars being Roman Catholic (the most common religious identity in the Philippines). i can imagine Sadie making an Easter basket for Lars, and coming over early on the holiday morning to drop it off. She goes to knock on the door, but Lars swings it open before she does, wearing a nice short-sleeve dark blue button up and black dress slacks. He blinks down at her, a faint trace of annoyance held at bay by his early morning grogginess. She kinda snorts at first, surprised to see him in clothes like that, but admittedly kind of thinks he looks cute dressed up like that. “Uh, hey. I put together this basket for you and your parents,” she lifts the basket up so he can see. He blushes juuuust a little bit, taking it from her. “Oh, cool, thanks...” is all he can manage to spit out b4 his parents come from behind him, also dressed in their Easter best.

“Oh, Laramie, who’s this?” Martha asks, delighted. “I think it’s that young lady we saw him run into the Universe household with,” Dante says, then looking to Sadie.

“Haha yeah, um, my name is Sadie, actually. Nice to meet you-meet you,” she smiles shyly, realizing she hasn’t really interacted with them to this extent.

“Happy Easter!” Lars’ parents say in unison, and Sadie begins to wish them a happy one in return but Martha gasps, saying, “Oh, we’re running late!” and she scoots her lil mens out the door, shutting it behind them. Lars is still holding the basket, his face becoming redder and redder as the embarrassment of the entire situation starts waking him up fully. Sadie notices his state and steps aside, allowing the Barrigas space to get to their car in the driveway. She tentatively waves, and Lars exaperately waves back, shuffling over to the car. As soon as he opens the back door, his mom cheerfully asks Sadie if she would like to come with them to Easter service.

Lars, of course, turns into a solid block of ice and shatters into about three million pieces. Naturally, he can’t protest like that. >:3c

“Oh, wow,” Sadie stammers, smiling bigger than before. “That’s so nice of you! Really, I, I would like to come, but...” she gestures at her clothes, a plain light grey tee shirt and blue jean shorts. “I feel like this isn’t appropriate attire, heh,”

Lars relaxes just a bit, curling around the inside of the opened car door and watching this interaction with narrow eyes. If he thought he was escaping such an awkward situation as bringing his crush to EASTER MASS with his PARENTS, an already pretty embarrassing situation, well.. he had quite another thing coming.

“Oh hunny, a pretty package doesn’t always need a bow, but...” Martha reaches into her hair, unclasping a white wooden hairclip decorated with beautiful carved sampaguitas (national flower of the Philippines). She leans down, and as though there were much more familiarity between the two women then there truly is, Martha secures the clip just above and behind Sadie’s left ear. “There,” she said, clasping her hands together in giddiness. “You look perfect! You can sit in the back with Laramie. :)” Lars slams himself over to one side of the car as Sadie curiously climbs in their car, fastening her safety belt. Her entire face pink, a small smirk creeping at the corners of her mouth, she glances at Lars’ fumbling hands around the basket in his lap, his flustered expression only revealed to her from his reflection in the window. ‘Guess I better text my mom,’ Sadie thinks to herself as she pulls out her phone.

‘I am SO not going with them next year, oh my god,’ repeats in Lars’ head the entire drive.

---

I thought it would be really cute that after that experience, Sadie might consider why she and her mother aren’t religious. She one day gets the moxie to ask her mother about it, and Barb mentions that she was raised Lutheran Protestant, but as she grew older religion didn’t really have much of a place in her life. Sadie is almost satisfied but then she courageously asks: “Wh... what about, my dad? Was he Lutheran, too?”

Barb lowers her eyes to the floor for a moment, but then laughs warmly. “Your dad was Jewish, actually! Religion was a lot more important to him than it was to me, that’s for sure.”

And thus begins Sadie’s interest in researching Judaism. She follows a few Jewish religion and culture bloggers, she buys a few study texts, and just for fun she learns to count to ten in Hebrew. She mostly keeps this all to herself, but one day she realizes it’s kind of lonely to do communal things without anyone else. Not wanting to put her mother through any stress by reminding Barb of her father, Sadie nervously texts Lars for help with the one part of Judaism he might know about.

“Hey, uh, I know this is kind of coming from no where but... do you know how to make cholent?”

He takes about 20 minutes before he responds.

“y”

Sadie frowns, but rolls her eyes and replies immediately.

“I wanted to make some, but you know a lot more about cooking than I do and I wanted to ask you for help. *angel emoji*”

this time, he responds after only three minutes.

“do u already have all the ingredients”

Sadie wonders why he’s asking that now instead of just answering her question, but she checks her pantry after pulling up a recipe on her phone.

“It looks like I have just about everything except for... pearl barley? Idek what that is tbh lol”

She presses send, leaning against her kitchen counter as she awaits his response.

“b there in 30 mins.”

he sent that one in about 30 seconds, which really took Sadie aback. she didn’t mean she was going to make it today! but, his enthusiasm impressed her a little bit, and she felt good in choosing him of all people.

She sets everything up, and after looking over the recipe again, she starts boiling some water for the beans.

It takes 37 minutes, actually, but the knock on her door after that time passes is distinctively Lars’, a package of pearl barley in tow. Completely in contrast to his performance at the Big Donut, Lars remains methodical and focused, occasionally asking her to read things off from her phone. She tries to help, but he kind of ends up doing most things by himself. She doesn’t really mind, because she can learn by watching him. Eventually she becomes a little embarrassed at the situation, a bit too pleased that he is here and helping her like this. She almost wanted to give him a hug for it... almost.

After a couple of hours they could just set it on the stovetop and wait, and Lars finally seems to snap back into his usual personality and asks her, “Why cholent? I’ve never seen you eat cholent,” squinting his eyes at her, it finally dawns on him that this might be some kind of setup. Was he too eager? Oof!

Sadie blushes, unaware that he’d been paying attention to the things she ate in any capacity. “Well...” she sighs, pulling a chair out from the kitchen table and sitting down. She looks at him, the slightest amount of pain etched into her chubby face. Lars’ brows furrow, his eyes opening fully again. He shyly makes his way to the opposite side of the table, flipping the chair around and sitting on it backward. “You remember when your parents kinda... just decided I was going to church with you guys?”

Lars grimaced, “Mass,”.

“Mass,” Sadie repeatedly apologetically. “That’s kinda it, I’m not... I’m not so good at this religious stuff yet, haha...” and she finally begins to tell someone in her life what she’s been thinking about with regards to religion, and how she thinks learning more about Judaism will help her understand herself and her dad better, and that maybe it shouldn’t be so important to her but it just kind of became important to her.

After her lengthy explanation, the stove timer immediately began going off. She had begun tearing up a bit, so she took the opportunity to wipe her face off on her shirt when Lars shot up to take the pot off the burner to rest. He turned the heat off, sheepishly looking over his shoulder back at her, face still buried in the collar of her own shirt. He tiptoed back over, standing about a foot away from her chair.

“Okay!” he announced, surprising her enough to peek her eyes out from inside her shirt, pretty brown eyes puffed and glossed over. “I can guarantee this cholent is going to be amazing, so,” he grabs his arm, digging his fingers in nervously as he struggles to maintain eye contact with her. Sadie fully emerges from the inside of her shirt, brushing loose strands of hair from her face. “S-so, no crying!” he almost shouts, and the subtle crack in his voice at the end makes his blush deepen. Sadie sniffles, smiling up at him from the table.

“Okay,” she giggles. “No crying.”

[skittidyne]

tagged by @lethesomething! thanks darling

1. How did you come up with your username and what does it mean?

hahaha. i’ve been stuck with “skitty” as a name since 05, but i went from “digital skitty” to “skittidyne” when i made the jump to tumblr. i wanted something that wasn’t my “professional” name, but could still be skitty-ish, and so i decided to throw some persona into the mix, because that’s how i be. 

“skitty” is a pokemon and the “-dyne” suffix is the highest tier of attack spell in the persona series. and it looked better with an i rather than a y. so i guess i’m the highest tier of skitty spell!

2. Which fanfic of yours has the most feedback? (bookmarks/subscriptions/hits/kudos).

pedestal hands down. (bbac isn’t even half as popular by any of those categories.) 

3. What is your AO3 profile icon, and why did you choose it?

it’s ryoji from persona 3! i chose it because... i love ryoji... even when i was drawing regularly, i rarely used my own art as my icons anywhere, except dA or actual art-hosting sites. 

4. Do you have any regular/favourite commenters?

oh god i know i’m going to leave people out, and I LOVE YOU ALL, but beechichi liveblogs shit to me on twitter, curiouslylazy leaves me comments longer than chapters, greatdanesandpandas leaves me amazing capslocked comments across several of my stories, haruhi02 and rd both leave AMAZING liveblog type comments on bbac, and unexpectedly but delightfully like every commenter on the kamafuta fake dating story is like, so kind and nice. (upside to writing a rarepair!) 

but i love all of my commenters and there are LOTS i’m missing here and trust me i do notice who comments regularly and across several stories ;; 

5. Is there a fanfic that you keep going back to read again and again?

ghost story, character development, sayuri, a heart swelled to bursting, settling down, the thirty-six stratagems of wáng jìngzé ... a lot of smut fics... (a lot of smut fics)

6. How many stories are you subscribed to? How many do you have bookmarked?

211 subscribed to, and 112 bookmarks on ao3! 88 bookmarks on ff.net.

7. Which AU do you find yourself writing the most?

i mean. bbac, i guess. i like things with a magical slant, but i don’t ever stick around the exact same universe for multiple stories? 

8. How many people are subscribed and bookmarked to you in total? (you can view this on the stats page)

285 subscriptions to me, idk how to check how many are bookmarked to me? can you bookmark authors on ao3? 727 subscribed & 1043 faved on ff.net though. 

9. Is there something you’d like to write about but are afraid of people judging you for it? (Feeling brave? If so, share it!)

hmm. i’d love to write a mafia/yakuza au one day, but i’m not sure i’m afraid of ppl judging me. i think i just don’t want to do that much research. i’d also love to write a sugaring au one day, if only out of PURE BITTERNESS, but that’s a lot of smut to write, and i’m afraid i’d probably start fights in the comments section. 

there’s not a lot i’m more scared of writing compared to other things, i guess. 

10. Is there anything you would like to be better at? Writing certain scenes or genres, replying to comments, updating better, etc.

commenting! leaving comments would be nice. truthfully, i’d like to work on my personal self-discipline when it comes to writing and getting things done, even though my output is pretty high imo. also, i guess romance writing. 

11. Do you write rarepairs or popular ships more often?

uhhhhhh. i never purposefully do either, and in naruto fandom i spent some time in rarepair hell, and apparently kamafuta is a fuckin rarepair so i’m again sitting in that lonely little boat, but i also tend toward more popular ships in hq fandom, at least. both? probably popular ships? 

12. How many stories have you posted on AO3 to this day (finished and unfinished)?

27 on ao3! 

13. How many stories do you have saved in/with your writing program?

uhhhhhhhhhhhhh. if we’re going to get technical about it... 

counting side story collections as 1 “story”, i got: 

61 on googledocs, 16 more on my harddrive. 

i don’t want to meet anyone’s eye right now

14. Do you write down story ideas, or just keep them in your head?

i ABSOLUTELY keep them in my head. if i start writing ANYTHING down, even if it’s notes or title ideas or character ideas, i know i’ve already lost the war, and i’m committed to writing something. 

15. Have you ever co-authored a story?

yep! oh it puts the heart in my chest on wings was with the amazing @h-lovely and where the wild things go was with the lovely @kaiyouchan!

also, technically @tarotdactyl is listed as a co-author on operation: poison tree frog, because it’s his fault, but i’m technically the one doing all of the writing for it. for some reason

16. How did you discover AO3?

i mean, i was on lj and ff.net. things migrated. i don’t remember specifically how it happened. 

17. Do you consider yourself to be a popular or famous author in your fandom(s) on AO3?

shrug emoji... i suppose i am? i think i still am in pokemon fandom, i know i’m not in naruto fandom, and i don’t even know anymore in hq fandom. (i guess only hq fandom matters on ao3)

18. Do you have a nickname or fandom name for your readers?

skittens!! 

19. Was there an author who inspired or encouraged you to write?

@avoidingavoidance and @silvercistern are #writing goals, and while she’s only just writing now herself, my mother has always been a devoted supporter of my writing. past that, it was just reader feedback that kept me goin’ onward. 

20. What writing advice would you give to a beginning author?

KEEP WITH IT. COMMIT TO YOUR IDEA. there is no such thing as a bad idea, and even “bad” ideas, if committed to, can turn into FANTASTIC stories/characters/arcs. absolutely keep going, no matter what. 

21. Do you plot out your stories, or do you just figure it out as you go?

both, haha. i’m trying to get outlines more and more these days, mostly because i guess i’m working with others and for some reason they can’t read my mind. hm. 

22. Have you ever gotten a bad comment on a story? If so, what did you do?

dude, i was in the pokemon fandom when farla was still around. 

yeah, i’ve gotten things that could be considered “flames”. i’ve accidentally started a ship war, and i’ve gotten nasty shipping-related comments on stories, too. hell, i’ve fought with readers over that sort of thing before. 

i’ve also had rude commenters, commenters who probably just didn’t know any better, and commenters who missed the point so badly i had to go scream into a pillow. it happens. 

for the most part, i try to respond to comments/reviews, because that’s how i was raised on the internet. i try to be polite and pleasant these days, but i’ll put my foot down. i try not to be rude or mean, though. 

23. Is there a certain type of scene that you have a hard time writing? (action, smut, etc..)

smut. it’s always goddamn smut. 

romance in general, though. i’m good with the emotional intimacy and casual physical intimacy, but half the time i end up with more of that between the best friend characters than the ships, so... i dunno. i’d like to be more comfortable writing romance, up to and DEFINITELY including smut. 

24. What story(s) are you working on now?

bbac, political intrigue, magical girl au, fake dating au, and a couple of random oneshots. 

25. Do you plan your next project(s) before you finish your current ongoing story(s)?

look, i ain’t happy if i’m not juggling projects. so i guess that’s a given. 

26. Do you have a daily writing goal set for yourself?

only during nanowrimo! some days, i don’t write a word, and other days, i’m easily in the thousands. i’m content with either, because i can only force it so often. 

27. Do you think you’ve improved as a writer since you first started?

absolutely. even when it feels like i’m stagnating with that dreaded 67-75% of the story completed zone, i know every word i write betters me as an author. 

28. What is your favorite story that you’ve written?

oh man, that’s so hard... mostly, that comes down less to emotion, and more to “what was easiest for me to write”... 

maybe pedestal. but maybe only because i’ve been feeling nostalgic lately, and it’s easy to love a story once it’s completed. 

29. What is your least favorite story that you’ve written?

haha i don’t want to say

30. Where do you see yourself (as a writer) in 5 years?

finishing bbac

completed trilogy & completed standalone original novels completed, probably in a new fandom, probably agonizing over yet another 500k novel fanfic

31. What is the easiest thing about writing?

momentum!! god, when you have it, EVERYTHING IS AWESOME

32. What is the hardest thing about writing?

trying to keep momentum... actually, probably, forcing yourself through a scene you KNOW has to get done and you even know what happens in it, but it’s just not happening. bleh. 

33. Why do you write?

for the attention and monetary gain (๑꒪▿꒪)* 

nah, it’s to share stories with people. i like ideas, i like turning ideas into bigger ideas, and i like people’s reactions to those ideas. it’s like friendship sharing except i don’t have to be social! <3 

i’m not tagging anyone directly but if you are an author type and like being tagged then grab this UP!

[5sos-aka-life]

i’m gonna be a massive dick and ask: 1-100

HAHAHAH alright well here we go then. Also thank you from saving me from the world’s most boring lecture rn.

Everything will be under a read more inorder to save people’s dash but feel free to learn more about me haha.

1. The meaning behind my url: 

I feel like its kinda self explanatory. I made this back when I was a giant 5sos fan and I’m too lazy to change it and idk what I would change it to if I did. I might soon though.

2. A picture of me:

3. How many tattoos i have and what they are:

I have 1 tattoo currently and it’s a pinky promise. I got it with a former friend. I have a couple more planned I just need money for them.

4. Last time i cried and why:

Like 2 weeks ago because I miss social interaction.

5. Piercings i have:

I have my ears pierced but never wear earrings, I have another set of piercings and I used to have my nose pierced but it got ripped out at work one day. Do not reccommend it hurt like a bitch.

6. Favorite band:

Not a band per say but I’ve really been into Tones and I lately, specifically never felt the rain.

7. Biggest turn offs:

Definitely not being motivated. I am very driven and like for sure have goals that I am working towards and want to achieve and when someone just has no goals (even small ones) makes me feel like I’m dragging them along and acting as their mother almost. Also people who can’t keep a conversation, like I’m not really one for small talk like I’d rather talk about the mysteries of the universe you know.

8. Top 5 (insert subject):

You didn’t provide a subject so I’m just gonna say songs:

Never felt the rain - Tones and I

Is everybody going crazy? - Nothing but thieves

Complainer - Cold War Kids

Trampoline - Shaed

Don’t stop me now - Queen (permanently in top 5)

9. Tattoos i want:

I have several lined up. My next is going to be a crow with some minimalist geometric lining in the back and some hydrangeas and delphiniums around it on my forearm. Next I’m going to get a small snapdragon along the outside of my forearm. Then I want to get my thigh pieces done one will be a watercolor tree and the other will be watercolor mountains and it’ll have some quotes underneath them.

10. Biggest turn ons:

I like assertive people who aren’t dickheads. 

11. Age:

22

12. Ideas of a perfect date:

I’m super easy to please so pretty much any place where we can actually do something because i find that that helps break through the awkwardness of dates.

13. Life goal:

To buy my mom a house and live close to my family

14. Piercings i want:

My nose repierced, maybe like a double nose piercing idk yet.

15. Relationship status:

Happily single 

16. Favorite movie:

Grave of Fireflies

17. A fact about my life:

hmmm I have like 7 siblings.

18. Phobia:

Bugs and spiders, the idea of the feeling of them walking on me freaks me out.

19. Middle name:

McKenna

20. Height:

5′4″

21. Are you a virgin?

Nope 

22. What’s your shoe size?

women’s 8, men’s 6

23. What’s your sexual orientation?

Tbh still figuring that out but pansexual

24. Do you smoke, drink, or take any drugs?

I drink occasionally but not very often

25. Someone you miss:

my awesome coworkers rn

26. What’s one thing you regret?

Not taking time to focus on myself earlier than I did

27. First celebrity you think of when someone says attractive:

Kate McKinnon

28. Favorite ice cream?

Cheesecake or honeycomb toffee

29. One insecurity:

My body shape/size

30. What my last text message says:

“Most likely yes. I know Steven was walking his dog through the park by himself and a cop was giving him shit for it”

31. Have you ever taken a picture naked?

Ooof yeah

32. Have you ever painted your room?

Yeah my childhood room at both parents house and then i had to change rooms immediately after at one and the eother moved houses.

33. Have you ever kissed a member of the same sex?

Yup!

34. Have you ever slept naked?

Not fully i don’t think

35. Have you ever danced in front of your mirror?

Of course!

36. Have you ever had a crush?

hahaha unfortunately yeah

37. Have you ever been dumped?

Yeah pretty even with the dumped/dumping ratio

38. Have you ever stole money from a friend?

No, if anything i give my friends all my money if they need it

39. Have you ever gotten in a car with people you just met?

Like only people I just me? No. With people that I also know? yeah

40. Have you ever been in a fist fight?

Nah never gotten to that point

41. Have you ever snuck out of your house?

No but I have lied about where I’m going/doing.

42. Have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back?

Ooof yeah I have

43. Have you ever been arrested?

Nope and I’m trying to keep it that way

44. Have you ever made out with a stranger?

Yeah, it wasn’t very good though

45. Have you ever met up with a member of the opposite sex somewhere?

Yeah for like dates or hangouts

46. Have you ever left your house without telling your parents?

Yeah, it didn’t go over too well but it was several years ago

47. Have you ever had a crush on your neighbor?

Nah all of my neighbors have been way younger than me or like 70

48. Have you ever ditched school to do something more fun?

Yeah I do it with college all the time haha

49. Have you ever slept in a bed with a member of the same sex?

Yeah mostly platonically though

50. Have you ever seen someone die?

No and I’m glad that I haven’t

51. Have you ever been on a plane?

Yeah a ton actually

52. Have you ever kissed a picture?

I’m sure I have in my cringey teenage phase.

53. Have you ever slept in until 3?

Not quite that late as I’m a relatively early riser, the lastest I’ve slept in is like 1

54. Have you ever loved someone or miss someone right now?

I’ve loved people yeah but I don’t miss anyone in that way rn. Like every relationship has ended for a reason.

55. Have you ever laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by?

Yeah it’s a really relaxing thing to do

56. Have you ever made a snow angel?

Yeah but not a huge fan of it cuz i don’t like the cold

57. Have you ever played dress up?

Yeah I’m pretty sure most young girls do

58. Have you ever cheated while playing a game?

Yeah I’m sure I have

59. Have you ever been lonely?

Yeah but I like to try to move past it and not fixate on it, easier said than done though.

60. Have you ever fallen asleep at work/school?

Yeah I was super sick at school one day and fell asleep from all the medicine I had to take

61. Have you ever been to a club?

Nah I’m more of a bar person if I’m gonna go out with people

62. Have you ever felt an earthquake?

Yeah a couple since living in California

63. Have you ever touched a snake?

Yeah my brother used to own one

64. Have you ever ran a red light?

Yeah on accident, I was driving home from a really late night at work and was kinda zoned out so I didn’t even realize it was red. Luckily it was a super small street and it was late enough no one was on the roads.

65. Have you ever been suspended from school?

Nope I’m a good girl.

66. Have you ever had detention?

Yeah I was late too many times for a class

67. Have you ever been in a car accident?

Yeah I rear ended someone on my way to a new job like a couple days after getting my new car

68. Have you ever hated the way you look?

Yes I am not happy with the way I look right now but I’m working on accepting my body and chaning the things that I can

69. Have you ever witnessed a crime?

I don’t believe so.

70. Have you ever pole danced?

No but I’d love to learn sometime.

71. Have you ever been lost?

Definitely, I’m not the greatest with directions

72. Have you ever been to the opposite side of the country?

Yup I used to live in michigan and now I live in Cali

73. Have you ever felt like dying?

Unfortunately yeah

74. Have you ever cried yourself to sleep?

Also yes unfortunately

75. Have you ever sang karaoke?

Yeah I love it

76. Have you ever done something you told yourself you wouldn’t?

Yeah but it didn’t turn out to be that bad

77. Have you ever laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose?

I don’t think so but maybe

78. Have you ever slept with someone at least 5 years older or younger?

No but I have dated someone who was 5 years older than me

79. Have you ever kissed in the rain?

No but I’d love to given the opportunity

80. Have you ever sang in the shower?

All the time

81. Have you ever made out in a park?

No, no one ever wants to go with me

82. Have you ever dream that you married someone?

Yeah but I couldn’t see who it was

83. Have you ever glued your hand to something?

Not my whole hand but definitely a finger

84. Have you ever got your tongue stuck to a flag pole?

No haha those are too dirty

85. Have you ever gone to school partially naked?

Not completely, but there was a time where I was so tired i forgot to put a shirt on under my zip up hoodie and didn’t realize until i went to take it off.

86. Have you ever been a cheerleader?

No but I was a dancer

87. Have you ever sat on a roof top?

No but I want to at somepoint

88. Have you ever brushed your teeth?

Yeah gotta be hygenic

89. Have you ever been too scared to watch scary movies alone?

All the time, I don’t do scary movies

90. Have you ever played chicken?

Yeah a couple of times

91. Have you ever been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on?

I don’t think so but I wouldn’t put it past my brothers

92. Have you ever been told you’re hot by a complete stranger?

I’ve had people hit on me at work

93. Have you ever broken a bone?

Yup my right wrist when I was 3.

94. Have you ever been easily amused?

Yeah I’m sure I have

95. Have you ever laughed so hard you cried?

Yeah a couple of times

96. Have you ever mooned/flashed someone?

No not that confident haha

97. Have you ever cheated on a test?

Yeah a couple

98. Have you ever forgotten someone’s name?

All the time, it takes a couple of interactions for it to really stick

99. Have you ever met someone who didn’t seem real?

Yeah but always when I’ve had surface level interactions

100. Give us one thing about you that no one knows.

Hmmmm. I’m a hopeless romantic but don’t like to show it.

[napstablooks]

for that ask meme thing,,, do all of them >:Oc

oh god

oh god are you sure

well…

HERE GOES I GUESS,

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?

Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen, Fly On The Wall - Joey Pecoraro, Fourth of July - Sufjan Stevens, All the Angels - MCR, For Emma - Bon Iver, and Shelter by Porter Robinson2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

Nick Valentine’s voice actor.3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

”Before I could fasten them, light poured down on me and there he was without a shirt, holding a flashlight.”4: What do you think about most?

My friends.5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?

”Ur gay lol”6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

I sleep with them on because I’m a cold bitch7: What’s your strangest talent?

I type on my phone so much I’ve memorized the keyboard. Is that a talent8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)

Girls are fucking hot

Boys are soft9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?

god one can dream can’t they10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?

a few weeks ago i think hah11: Do you have any strange phobias?

honestly none that I can think of right now but I used to be scared of the lamp in my basement as a kid I thought it would eat me12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

many times13: What’s your religion?

I’m agnostic!14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

probably walking! I love taking walks15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

I’m awful at photography so probably in front of it16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

oh god uh. good question. the front bottoms? got me through a lot17: What was the last lie you told?

honest to god it was that i wasn’t depressed when i was18: Do you believe in karma?

yes. not super strongly, but if someone does bad shit and something to happens, ima just watch from a distance.19: What does your URL mean?

it’s from Undertale! my favorite ghost kid!20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

greatest weakness: can’t take criticism because of schizoid.greatest strength: I’m very accepting and I care for everyone.21: Who is your celebrity crush?

MMMMM Krysten Ritter is my MOTHER22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

nah dude I’m underage and lonely23: How do you vent your anger?

by hurting myself. deadass. this isn’t to be dramatic. that or i scream a lot24: Do you have a collection of anything?

JOURNALS! i have over 2025: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

video chatting 26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

in a lot of ways no, but in some ways… yes. yes i am.27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

sound i hate: crunching of anythingsound i love: wood crackling fire!28: What’s your biggest “what if”?

what if nobody really loves me?29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

yes and yes!30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

right arm: my therapy journal hahaleft arm: my teddy bear, Roger!!31: Smell the air. What do you smell?

laundry detergent! i just washed my blanket32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

a hospice in my town33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?

West Coast even though I’m living in the hell of the east coast rn34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

god i don’t fuckin know 35: To you, what is the meaning of life?

to make yourself enjoy it as much as possible and help others get there along the way!36: Define Art.

something you create because of a feeling (or no feeling).37: Do you believe in luck?

Yes! kind of like I believe in karma.38: What’s the weather like right now?

it’s 7 am here and its slightly warm, but clear out 39: What time is it?

7:12 am!40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

Nope! don’t have my license yet41: What was the last book you read?

I think it was Sharp Objects42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?

sorta - after a while it makes me sick43: Do you have any nicknames?

Bee, Robino, Robee, Rob44: What was the last film you saw?

A Beautiful Mind!45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

idk i think i sprained my ankle a few times but otherwise i don’t do enough to get injured46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?

yep!!!!47: Do you have any obsessions right now?

Overwatch! it’s been an obsession since about july of 201648: What’s your sexual orientation?

not sure right now. pan with a preference towards girls maybe?49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?

not big ones but yeah50: Do you believe in magic?

yes!!!!!!!!!!51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

yeah i’m a super angry person :/52: What is your astrological sign?

Virgo 53: Do you save money or spend it?

i spend it so bad lmao. i don’t have any rn though cause no income source54: What’s the last thing you purchased?

pizza :D55: Love or lust?

love, always. always always.56: In a relationship?

nope! just got out of one about a week ago.57: How many relationships have you had?

4! only two of them meant anything.58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

no i’m a failure ;A;59: Where were you yesterday?

i was @ my house sleeping60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

yep! a music box from my mom61: Are you wearing socks right now?

no they are evil62: What’s your favourite animal?

SEA OTTER!!!!!!!63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

i make them feel super comfortable around me! i love it when people are themselves around me, it makes me feel trusted. i don’t do it out of malice or anything ;-;64: Where is your best friend?

at her house a few miles away from me…i get to see her today!65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.

-esuerc (is that how you spell it?)-mercysblaster-moon-goblin-mojavemessenger-welcome-to-far-harbor(these aren’t in order)

66: What is your heritage?

whitest of the white. irish or something? i think? fuck if i know anymore67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?

streaming overwatch on twitch haha68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?

trump.69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

fuck yeah dude who do you think i am lmao70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

i think so! i think I’m a very caring and loving person. id like to come to me for my problems, yknow?71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

fuck my job save the dog i can always find a new job but i can’t always save a dog’s life72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

a - yes. i tell everyone.b - i enjoy myself the most i can. c - no. i’m not afraid of dying.73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

fuck. trust. i guess.74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

don't stop me now by queen! never ceases to make me smile like a dumb idiot75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

3309 hah76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

trust. absolutely. and being comfortable and putting everything out in the open.77: How can I win your heart?

make me feel trusted and give me love. lots of love.78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?

of course it can! 79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

realizing that i am my own. nobody else’s.80: What size shoes do you wear?

9 women’s heck off81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

i always knew it would end like this! dammit!82: What is your favourite word?

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

smiling…a heart full of love.84: What is a saying you say a lot?

”big mood”85: What’s the last song you listened to?

Concrete - This Wild Life86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?

PERIWINKLE !!!!!87: What is your current desktop picture?

it’s a cool map i found while researching DnD dungeon layouts!88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

trump!!!!89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

”why do you lie?”90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

i’d freak out but i mean if they just chilling they can be my friends91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

oh shit to freeze time obviously92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

the time that i had a long talk with a friend at 3 am. you know who you are. i can’t remember anything that good for the past few years.93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

being abused.94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

FUCK UHHHH carly rae jepson95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

hdkjhajk omg idk uhhh probably new york to visit my friend shivani96: Do you have any relatives in jail?

nah fam97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?

yep!98: Ever been on a plane?

i have and i hated it99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

please, just let there be love.

YOU’RE WELCOME, ANON!

[samjooncreations]

Scent Of You

Namjoon x OC

Description: the allure of a scent can draw people toward what they desire most. Sexy Fluff if thats a thing. Kinda like the gif.

Rating: PG13 (some sexual content but…idk not M. haha)

Words: 2667

 Namjoon was on the hunt for the perfect gift. What could he get you that would make it clear you were the only one for him? That no matter the distance, when he came home, he was all yours. He knew you would say he didn’t need to get you anything, but he knew you also secretly liked the small little gifts, no matter what they were.

 Scouring up and down the busy streets, nothing was catching his eye. He was ready to give up, planning to sadly show up empty handed to your apartment begging for forgiveness for not only being late, but not having anything to show for it. He turned down an empty alleyway to take a shortcut to the station, when he realized there wasn’t the the same hustle and bustle as other streets. He lifted his head from its hooded shell to see it looked abandoned.

 The street was so desolate, but in the far corner he saw a small, dimly lit shop sign swaying in the wind. Looking around to make sure no one was watching him, he pulled his mask down under his chin, and made his way towards the store.

 “Placé. Bo. Parfume”  

 He read the sign intrigued, and pulled open the door.

 Inside was relatively bare. The walls were light wood paneling, narrow, short, shelves were lined with glass bottles all different shapes and sizes, holding liquids of different hues. For a perfume shop, the place lacked the usual, eye watering, cough inducing, overpowering mix of scents. When he walked further in, an older woman lifted her head from reading behind the counter, to greet him with a bright smile.

 “Hello young man, what can I help you find today?” she stood to help him.

 “Oh…um…I’m looking for something to get my girlfriend,” he explained nervously.

 “Of course, for any reason in particular? Anniversary? Birthday?” She walked one of the lines of bottles.

 “Well…um…”

 “Ah…one of those kinds of gifts,” she nodded, understanding exactly what it was he was trying to say, “If you don’t mind me asking, what is it that you need to apologize for?”

 “It’s complicated,” it really wasn’t something he wanted to discuss with a total stranger.

 “I understand, however it would help me help you find the right fragrance. Sometimes what you did can’t be solved by a pretty gift,” she gave him a once over, and he realized what she was trying to imply.

 “I would never cheat on her if that’s what you’re thinking! My work requires me to be gone for long periods of time. And when I do get to be home, it’s only for one or two nights before I’m off again. I know she is feeling lonely and to be honest, even in the crowds of people I’m with, I feel just as lonely as if I was in fact alone because she’s not there,” his heart filled with ache as he thought about being away from you. How all he wanted was for you to be by his side.

 “That’s a beautiful sentiment. I’m sorry for making the assumption,” she bowed in apology and started to pull things off the shelves, “Alright, tell me things about her.”

 “Like what?” He walked over to try and take mental notes of what the woman was doing.

 “What’s she like when she’s happy? When she’s sad? Mad?”

 “She shows her emotions. She’s never afraid to say how she feels. When she’s mad she will scream, when she’s upset she will cry, and when she’s happy the whole world gets brighter. She makes one feel the way she feels. No matter how strongly you want to fight it, it’s impossible,” he laughed thinking about everything you had been through in the last year and a half.

 “I think I know just the mix. Give me a few minutes and I will have the perfect gift for your girlfriend,” she walked away, to the backroom and he was left alone.

 His phone buzzed. Grabbing it quickly he saw you were texting him and it was definitely not a happy tone.

 Where are you?! You were supposed to be here a half hour ago? Did you get caught up in another meeting with the boys? If so, please just let me know.

  Sighing, feeling his guilt sink his stomach even more, he replied.

 I’m not with the boys. I’ll be there in 20 min. Sorry.

 No response after that. He knew exactly what that meant. You were pissed and this bottle of special perfume was definitely not going to do the trick.

 The woman walked out after only about five minutes and had a gorgeously decorated box she placed on the counter.

 “It’s all done,” she smiled, “It is a perfect blend to have a one of a kind scent for your lovey lady. This will help her de-stress and remind her of you every time she puts in so she will feel less alone. And when you smell her wearing it, your heart will fill knowing how much she cares about you.”

 “Thank you ma’am. I hope it works,” he went to hand her the credit card and she pushed it back toward him. He squinted baffled at her unwillingness to let him pay.

 “It’s my way of apologizing for assuming the worst of a male idol such as yourself,” she bowed continuing to push the card back towards him.

 “Ma’am-“

 “No. I refuse to take your money. Now go, she’s waiting for you,” she pushed the box closer to him and began to shoo him out the door.

 “Thank you. I will be back again. I will tell all my friends to come by as well,” he continued to bow as he left.

 --

 Buzzing several times at the entrance of your apartment building, your voice rang through the intercom.

 “Hello?”

 “It’s me, can you let me up?” he whispered.

 “I’m not sure who you are. If you’re my boyfriend, you should’ve been here an hour ago…”

 “Come on Y/N, I’m sorry. I told you I was running late. Please, can you let me up?” he whispered.

 “While you were already late and I had to mention it to get any sort of response,” you argued.

 “If you want to have an argument, could we at least do it while I’m inside, face to face?” he argued knowing you would much rather have the conversation looking right at him to make him feel even worse for yet again disappointing you.

 Bzzzz.

 He pulled the door and made his way up the several flights of stairs to get to your door, here you were already waiting, with the door open. Arms crossed in front of your chest, he knew he was about to get chewed out the second you both walked in the door.

 His head down, like a guilty puppy, he walked over to you and simply entered the apartment.

 “Namjoon, I don’t want to be mad. But I was worried something happened to you. And when I got such a cold response I thought you just didn’t care. You never show up late without at least texting me,” you weren’t speaking in a harsh tone like he had expected and so he looked up to see the table had been set for a romantic dinner, that had, at that point, gone cold.

 “I am so sorry, Y/N. You have no idea how sorry I am. I was looking for something to get you to apologize for always having to be away from you and then I just ended up screwing up even more by being late” he dropped to his knees pleading for forgiveness.

 “Namjoon…” you cut him off, falling to your knees in front of him, “I’ve told you every time you come home, I’m just happy you come home to me. The distance, I’ve been ok with since the beginning, I knew it would be something hard to deal with, but you’re living your dream, and I will never stop you from that,” you reached out to cup his cheek, and the warmth of your hand was enough to bring him to tears.

 “I’m so sorry,” he wept, unable to control himself. Your arms wrapped around him, pulling him against your chest, his tears soaking into your blouse, which made him feel even more guilty for ruining your clothing. Suddenly he felt dampness on top of his head. You were crying as well.

 You sat there for awhile. He wasn’t sure how long, but the tears had stopped falling, from both of your eyes. He pulled away to look up at you and saw even with the puffy eyes, red nose, you were still beautiful and the only girl he wanted to be with. He leaned up and gently kissed you.

 You leaned into it, causing him to lean in more to show how much he missed everything about you. His hand wrapped around your neck so your mouth couldn’t leave his when the box with your gift landed with a thud on the floor next to you.

 “What’s this?” you asked pulling away from him

 “A gift for you,” he grabbed it handing it to you.

 “You don’t have to get me things like this babe,” even as you said it, your eyes lit up with excitement of what could possibly be in the box. Just like he knew it would.

 You undid the large bow, peeled away the wrapping paper to reveal a box with the company name. You traced the letters, like they were some of the most important words ever written, and then pulled the box open.

 A small bottle sat in the middle of the extremely large box, overkill he thought, but also a letter.

 A letter? He thought

 “Dear Madam,” She began to read aloud, “This perfume bottle is filled with love from your significant other. A small dab will do the trick to bring your special someone to their knees. Enjoy your one of a kind scent from Placé. Bo. Parfume.”

 You smiled and opened the bottle to take a sniff but your face squinted, confused as to what you should be smelling.

 “Does it smell bad,” Namjoon asked reaching for the bottle angrily. Not that he paid for it but he still expected it to be mind-blowingly amazing, with everything the woman asked and did to try and make the perfect blend.

 “It doesn’t smell at all…” you looked baffled grabbing the bottle back placing a small drop on your wrist, rubbing your wrists together then bringing them up to your neck. Leaning your neck over to him you asked, “Now does it smell? I’ve read about perfumes that work with your pheromones and stuff.”

 He wasn’t concerned what smell you were wearing when one of his favorite parts of your body was being thrust into his face. He loved the moans that you let out when he gently placed his lips below your ear, and the arch of your back when he took your lobe into his mouth as he nipped at it. Before he knew what he was doing, his thoughts were being turned into actions.

 Your body instantly arched into the touch of his lips, and begged for more contact, which he willingly gave, wrapping and arm around your waist pulling you onto his lap as your hands skimmed his buzzed uncut, tangling into the hair on top if his head. Leaning back his back hit the wall as you moved to straddle his hips.

 “I’ve missed you so much,” you moaned on his lips.

 “There is no way it’s more than I’ve missed you,” his hands went down to your ass, grinding you against his hardening cock. Your body took over, repeating the motion over and over, slowly so that you both showed just how much you each missed each other.

 Your hands went to pull his oversized hoodie over his head, revealing his bare chest, and your favorite little mole by his belly button. You dipped your head down to attack his neck, knowing you couldn’t leave any visible marks caused you to dip even down his chest as his hands roamed all over your body, pulling at your blouse, making your lips pull away for a short time to remove the clothing.

 When he looked at your half naked frame, a smile grew looking at the thin lace bra barely even covering your breasts. When he let out a small chuckle you looked to him to see what he thought was so funny.

 Instead of saying anything he reached out to cup one of your breasts, his thumb grazing the thin fabric to feel your nipple rise below the constricting cloth.

 “We should move somewhere more comfortable,” you whispered leaning into his touch, pressing your lips to his, one last time before jumping off the floor and pulling him up towards the living room. You both stood in the middle of the living room staring kindly at each other. It had been so long since he was able to touch you.

 He missed every inch of your body. He missed all the small squeaks, the deep moans, and the swaying of your body with every touch he laid along your body. His fingers traced your hips, up your torso, down your arms and back up. Repeating the touch on every finger, you reached over to copy his movements along his chest.

 “Did you have a good time on tour?” you asked as you began to sway into his touches.

 “Of course. It was tiring, but worth every second,” his hand gripped at your waist to pull you close to him once again.

 “Are you sure you’re not too tired? I would understand…” you asked nervously stepping away looking towards the bedroom for him to take his leave from you.  

 Always concerned for my well being.

 He smiled as he leaned in to kiss you making it clear what he wanted, and it wasn’t sleep.

 Tumbling onto the couch, both ridding yourself of clothing, and falling into each other and your desires to be together, you rode out your highs of longing and love.

 --

 Laying on top of his naked, slightly sweaty form, you looked up to him with a small chuckle, “I guess that perfume did work.”

 He saw the box on the floor by the front door and smiled, “I wonder what the hell it was made out of?”

 You jumped off him, running naked to grab everything the box contained and running back over to him.

 Sitting up you both began to tear apart the box to find the list of ingredients fascinated at the quick work it had been able to accomplish.

 “Found it!” You shouted grabbing the small paper at the bottom of the box. You quickly skimmed the paper and started to chuckle.

 “What? What’s so funny?” he tried to get a look at the ingredients.

 “How much did you pay for this?” you asked.

 “Nothing. The woman refused to let me pay,” he explained.

 That’s when she handed him the ingredient list.

 Placé. Bo. Parfume.

Ingredients: Water. Nothing else. The scent of the one you love is enough to fall in love over and over again with no added help from us. Sometimes it takes a little push to realize you’re with the right or possibly the wrong person. We hope our placebo effect worked to help you figure out the truth.

 “So…”

 “That’s why it didn’t smell like anything. It’s nothing,” you were now laughing uncontrollably.

 It was contagious as he soon joined in on the laughter as he cuddled you against him, “I already knew I had the right person. I love you Y/N”

 “I love you too Namjoonie,” you leaned in to kiss him, his lips quickly took over yours and lifting you both off the couch as he carried you to the bedroom to continue showing you how much he missed you.

 Hope you enjoyed the first Samjoon Creation. If you did please hit that heart...or even reblog. :)

[t-shrt]

100 q tag

no one wud read it but ima do it anyways cos fun tag by @dubblebubble

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? more cereal than milk cos i love tht crunchy crunch

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? LOVE

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? receipts, pen lol

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? coffee=basic latte/hot tea, no sugar

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? sometimes, not too often tho

6: do you keep plants? no but i want to but ill be terrible at it so no

7: do you name your plants?

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? digital art

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? yes very it keeps me sane

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? side/back, back esp nowadays

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends? lots lol

12: what’s your favorite planet? earth? hahahah it used to be jupiter cos i loved sailor jupiter as a child

13: what’s something that made you smile today? friend + nct + fics

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? two separate bedrooms, a balcony, good amount of plants, separate fridge for alcohol, sizeable kitchen

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! it rains diamonds in jupiter and saturn $$$$

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish? bolognese hahahaha im boring

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? i just dyed my hair a darker ash brown n i quite like it ive been light for awhile

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. one came 2 mind cos we both recently talked ab it, a longtime close friend of mine n i used to have the biggest fight where he threw me a pair of scissors n i threw him a basketball in retaliation lmfaooo it still became a running joke more than a decade later...

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? not really...prolly shud

20: what’s your favorite eye color? i actually like brown hahah, maybe a slightly lighter shade of brown

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. it was a gift from my parents, a simple small messenger bag with a lot of slots, brought it with me literally everywhere, during my hookups, my night outs, been stained with questionable things (its been cleaned lol!).... almost lost it in a club only to be found by a friend... it has foundation stains tho lol

22: are you a morning person? n o

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? sleep, listen to music, watch stuff, not reply to messages

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? no

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? nothing rly comes to mind but im p sure ive been somewhere like tht lol

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit? LOL my adidas superstars

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor? ermm the red colored ones?

28: sunrise or sunset? hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm very good question

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? hmm what comes to mind is the way both of us sometimes exchange goodnight msgs w nct farm emojis heheeh

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? lol ofc....

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. unfortunately im rly basic on socks, u wud most likely find me wearing black ankle socks or black ballet(?) socks nothing more nothing less.......

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. a lot has happened usually during that time lol. duno which story to pick honestly hahahah. i think a memorable one might be when we were drinking n played games and we talked and talked and joked n nek min one by one we fell asleep in the same room hahah... im sure there are other stories tht might be more eventful but fr the life of me my memorys fuzzy rn lol

33: what’s your fave pastry? i love strawberry shortcakes! or mille crepes

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? i kept a LOT hahah. prolly named a few, but nothing was too special. i think it rly reflected how i managed my relationships then, n evn yrs aftwds, like i ws always lonely n my instincts were to gain quantity cos deep down i cudnt trust ppl n cudnt get too committed lololol

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? i wish i was cos sometimes ppl wud make pretty colorful notes, but i usually just buy ones tht i wud use cos practicality.

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now? mmmmm is it cheating if i say nct cos they cover a range of genres lmao. but their ballads i guess yeah.

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? i mean i prefer to keep it clean, but its always really messy HAHAHA ;_;

38: tell us about your pet peeves! 1. someone rude 2. someone who doesnt know how to respect others’ boundaries 3. someone self-entitled n takes themselves 2 seriously

39: what color do you wear the most? black on black on black on black baby

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you? an evangelion ring, its the black (lilith) moon with lcl gem in it, to me i guess symbolizes my struggle with human relations, n how eva as an anime illustrated tht n the fantasy of having everyone’s consciousness merged into one--n the fact that lilith in itself (in astrology) signifies the darker side of a human being? i guess n the fact that evn if u acknowledge ur darker side u cud still use it to further urself

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving? hmmmm i guess last was a self help book, unfuck your boundaries, helped me support my need to strengthen my boundaries

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! little rogue :) its in a small alleyway, a little quaint shop, easy to miss... small potted plants, with an amaaazing matcha latte

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? siiigh a guy i was involved with lmfao i cut him off tho

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? hmmmmm good question i guess lately ive been very thankful tht i could feel comfortable taking my own time and space, n accepting the positive energy others wn give 2 me. being single really, really does help evn tho id feel lonely sometimes, bc the only weight i carry is the weight of my own soul n i wn learn how to nourish that

45: do you trust your instincts a lot? very i think

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. i have a lot HAHAHA if u were a friend of mine ud prolly get tired of them. a genuinely bad one wud be haha youre so punny lmfao

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? nothing rly lmao if theyre healthy n someone derives happiness frm it i wudnt want it to be banned

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? probably not lol, i mean i think i retained similar fears since i ws a kid but now obviously my biggest fear(s) would be more...specific to me

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? its the digital age baby spotify ftw (in all srsness i wish i collected vinyls tho hh)

50: what’s an odd thing you collect? i used to collect ramune bottles lmaoooo

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? hmmmm nah lets not do this right now lol

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? LOL too many but i love shitpost quality memes tbh

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? pulp fiction. i actually loved it, i think i still do, its entertainment value is kickass, havent taken the time to dissect it in any other way

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? oh man i think it ws the dude i ws seeing lmao fk him

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point? a lot, n most of them im not proud of, cos some involves self harm

56: what are some things you find endearing in people? kindness n genuineness, someone’s courage in being vulnerable

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? dont feel like it rn but everytime i do 10/10 will dramatically reenact the lyrics right to the guitar riffs

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? im definitely the wine (aunt) lmfaooo im already one tbh 

59: what’s your favorite myth? Eros + Psyche, Icarus and the sun

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? i love poetry hahah...cant think of any rn

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received? id love any gift given 2 me as long as they wont harm me or anything lmao n i dont think ive evr given anything too stupid. well.. idk if this is stupid tho like i sent flowers thanking my ex for ‘helping me live’ well aft we’ve blocked each other off cos the end to the relo was js daaamn toxic lmao

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? nope

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? music i do spotify n im pretty particular ab organizing my playlists i guess. my books im alright with as long as theyre just stacked properly no problem

64: what color is the sky where you are right now? prolly rly dark blue cos its 12 am

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with? a lot tbh cos ive rly been focusing on stuff internally

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? daisies, sunflowers, n baby breath here n there

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? somber i guess maybe a tad bit nostalgic?

68: what’s winter like where you live? heeella cold not cos of the temperature itself but the winds thooo, if it drizzles evn in the slightest it feels like needles piercing through ur bones literally

69: what are your favorite board games? i like the game of life, ummm cards against humanity?

70: have you ever used a ouija board? no n never will lol

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea? the fruity kinds

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it? yea def lol

73: what are some of your worst habits? disappearing from people when i feel strong emotions

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. they’re small but they’re so full of love, full of life, full of strength, and full of care for others, they’re the type of person who will seek their goals till the end despite obstacles and still be able to not lose their warm heart on the way. they put so much thought and care to every aspect of their life even when in the past they have been handed some bad things, and i adore them for that.

75: tell us about your pets! none :( wish i have a cat though

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t? hahahhaah

77: pink or yellow lemonade? pink!

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? neither sometimes i think theyre weird sometimes cute sometimes weirdly cute lmao

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? write up 24 things they love about me to stop me from hating myself

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? white. no but if i had to id say white anyways lol cos its a blank canvas

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. i dunno uhhhh her rounded eyes which seemed to at first glance, harbor plenty of wonder seemed to be weighted by many untold secrets, the traces of which could be found when she erupts into laughter where the wonder would manifest itself in the form of small stars in the dark of her eyes.

82: are/were you good in school? meh. i try

83: what’s some of your favorite album art? weirdly i like cigarette after sex’s one cos its so simple yet telling

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? planning on getting an evangelion one, another heart one, a sunflower one, and prolly a ghibli related one

85: do you read comics? what are your faves? manga? naruto 4evr LOL

86: do you like concept albums? which ones? hmmm thinkin of dpr live’s IAOT

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? lord of the rings, harry potter, one of ghibli movies lol

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? i think impressionism is very cool evn tho i dont do it myself

89: are you close to your parents? eeeeee

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. Melbourne is a wonderful city where many things could coexist in one--happiness and sadness, camaraderie and loneliness, hot and cold, quiet and full of life, productive and relaxed, bursting with unfocused energy yet incredibly organized, and for many reasons it’s become one of my favorite cities, and definitely my favorite to live in.

91: where do you plan on traveling this year? no plans tbh lol maybe home?.......japan? heheheh nahhh

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? it depends lol mostly i guess drowns my pasta in cheese

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most? i always wear it down, either straight or wavy

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? a friend of mine

95: what are your plans for this weekend? stay in most likely, do stuff

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? 100% procrastinate lmaoooo

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? ISTG, jkjk INFP, leo sun aquarius moon cancer rising, ravenclaw

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? im alws meh ab hiking tbh lmao 

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. Long Slow Distance - NCT 127, Four - Sleeping At Last, idontwannabeyouanymore - Billie Eilish, Stop This Train - John Mayer, Digital Lover - Crush

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? 5 years into the past so she’d stop focusing her life around anybody else but herself

[trippz2ill2ace8itout]

🌙🌙🔥🌙🌙||HOPE #3; ||You Know My Name, Not My Story||🌙🌙🔥🌙🌙

PART THREEE, FACEBOOK IM NOT A HARM TO MYSELF OR OTHERS THIS IS IN MY PAST XX TRIGGER WARNING XX 💚💚🔥🥀🦋A Lil Deeper Into My Demons Life; *Johnny "JJ" Garcia; about the visions he basically comes at night funny how "at night" is when i act out anyways, "johnny" did some huge damage to me and made me do damage to others, but mostly me, he abused me, made me breakdown millions of times made me violent with crazy ass visions of different shit, its like living in a horror movie.coming after me i tried to kill him but he never dies he said "pull the red wire" which one do i pull theres to many i hate when he "possesses" me when he comes after me even in my dreams he still makes me violent sometimes but less cuz im getting treatment. "you gotta nice autograph picture, one for you and one for yo sister" at my group home "JJ" hassnt seen me (except for once i was outside trying to kill me or hurt myself, i threw rocks at the car that Johnny was running over my mom with in the vision, she ran she ran and i almost went AWOL but i didn't) *Elizabeth "Liz" Ramos; ~The Night You Left, Turning Sara Into Elizabeth Ramos~ MY STORYxccc Written In 9/6/12 I was screaming, panting, searching, all over, so this is my story, so i was @ Preston's open house, right? and he got mad at me and tried to punch me so i punched him then i ran round the blocks screaming for you when people walked by i threatened them i was insane dark posessed, i stole a pack of cigarretes and some blue pills and Esctasy the cops (there were about 7 or 8 cars) chasing me but i was to fast finally i got thrown in my moms car i went home lockled in my room going crazy cutting till i was bleeding and beaten and bruised, trashing my room, destroying everything, graffiting on myself and the walls writing "666" everywhere. ranting on satanistic shit, listening to death metal, finally Johnny took full control and possessed me i busted the door down trashed the house i punched my mom and myself the officer in our house i stole a pill bottle and chased my family around ranting on and on i busted the front door open my mom tackled me to the ground i got out of her grip i ran into the dark going cxrazy going mad trying to die with Johnny chasing me and abusing me, after about 5 minutes they tackled me to the ground i went to the car destroying the glass all my personalities came out, i got more posessed than before i realized it wasnt you Cynthia sang to me and i knew it wasnt you it was your father, Presly Garcia, i know you would leave me i knew you would fuck up. *Johnny "JJ" Garcia; ~Lisxten Upx~ MY STORY.cc EMPTY.TO.EMPTY (WRITTEN AT RESIDENTAL TREATMENT CENTER) This is how I feel, i know you don't have the power to kill my mom you showed me that she burned in a fire well fuck off Johnny are you real? NO YOUR NOT FUCKING REAL. MAKE ME A PERSON OF DARKNESS, my depression digs deep Johnny no Johnny STOP MAKE IT STOP HELP ME HELP ME STOP IT NO GO AWAY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON? but you can't kill mommy please dont take me to the ends. i don't know about you, but im done. this is how i feel, i feel lonely, and shattered, don't know where to go, what to do, im just done, i don't care about me, i hate me. I HATE ME. the new me isn't like the old me, the new me has lost herself inside and outside, mentally and physically, im lost inside a big dark hole of lonleyness, depression, sorrow, hurt, blind, numb, fucked up, mental, ill, scared, paranoid, crazy, done... If i leave i know, that you would be laughing you wouldnt cry JUST FUCKING WATCH ME SUFFER ABUSE MYSELF TO DEATH AND YOULL LAUGH YOUD BE HAPPY. and as i say goodbye, noone will here me. shit. worthless. lonely, nothing. wasted. IM FUCKING DONE! LET ME GO GET OFF ME IM DONE!!! its all clashing down nowhere to hide, trapped inside, wanting to die, wanting to cry, burst, break, can't breathe, its all inside, i have to get out before everyone comes down, i'm sorry to you all for making your life misrable. Something in my brain is missing or snapped, i can't reconize myself, im going dark, nothings helping im getting crazier, getting worse, its taking control of me its killing me, all over, its not normal, its killing me all over, im blind, im stuck, about to break, a chemical embalance, im different. my hallucinations make NO SENSE IM NOBODY WHO AM I I DONT KNOW WHO I AM. im losing my mind idk who i am its the end, wait stop talking, there coming in suits killing me, why arent i normal? whats going on? laugh laugh feeling intoxicated mental retardation out of it delusional fuck man im losing it, im going insane, idk who i am, help me, lost 40 lbs idk who i am real bad hallucinations, try to kill myself, my amazing friend Oscar prayed with me, cared, comforted me, helped me, he saved me brought me to God. I WANT DADDY. WHATS GOING ON? repeated phrases over and over in my head in my mind its broken, IM SCARED, "circles and squares for people who cares" i wanted to die, stayed up all night in the hospital bed, for 20 FUCKING HOURS. nothing makes sense.... BAD.EPISODE.SCREAMING. there after me, i dont know whats going on whats happened to me, ive changed for the worse NO NOT THE CHANGE. idk whats real and whats not, im not in reality, im in a dream can't wake up WHEN WILL I WAKE UP? my life is crumbling, Johnny is becoming real, bad anxiety, mom called 911 WENT TO ETS MENTAL HOSPITAL, CUZ I WENT CRAZY, THEY TOOK ME AWAY DONT TAKE ME AWAY WHY DID YOU TAKE ME AWAY??? IM JUST DONE AND OVER... bye :( *Good Daddy/Bad Daddy; So this is how it all started, so on 3/18/14, Tuesday, i tried to commit suicide, the night before i pulled an allnighter with my iPod, and pulling allnighters effects my medication, i was hearing my dads voice talking to me, saying, "im coming back" "no your not you little bitch so shut the fuck up" "im coming back nomatter if i like it or not" the next day at school i went AWA around campus. i was already pissed and triggered, i missing my dad, so i told my teacher and i went AWOL twice, the 1st time i ran i tried to jump in front of a car and my staff saw me and the OGI van was already chasing me, i refused to get in the van, they took me back to the school, i got out and went AWOL again, try kill myself, the van chased me, i fought to get in and this time the staff escorted me to the residential dorm quiet room, i got in 6 restraints 4 escorts, i selfharmed with my nails and i was damaging property. i had a whole bunch of people talk to me i screamed "i wanna go home" everywhere, i started hearing and seeing things, i didnt go home i went to ETS mental hospital, in an ambulance, all this shit happened cuz i was being unsafe, now i learned my lesson. *NXSP; ~Underestimated~ My Storryyxx 8/12/14 Sometimes, its not what it seems, its not reality, could cry and hurt myself for hours not sleep pull allnighters one day after another im bloodshot my brain is sufficating you can see all the hurt and pain in my eyes, im scared, wanting to die, take my family with me, im just so messed up, im done with this shit the mentalness the non functionality the disorders, im tired of me, im tired of life, im tired of everything. im just, darkness. ON 8/7/2012 In progress... okay its now 5:02 P.M, Johnny's awake again, ready to start raising hell, hes in process or "processing" hes adapting, ready to posess me, imma take off the motion detector im FUCKING BLOODSHOT READY TO FACE DEATH IM TO UNSTABLE IM TO DANGEROUS. and the wires, well white wires, trying to break free out the locked doors , so sweet, the dectectors on the doors the wires on the walls, the blood on the ceiling, the dreams that crash my mind MAKE ME FUCKING BLIND. myself broken to peices, 2:00 AM still up slaving myself, about to go out on myself, wanting to hang, but its just a thought, an addicting thought, the pain and suffering theres no end to the feeling, im down. almost about to become someone else, the transfering starts as i transform into someone dark, a dark shadow waiting to come out and kill the light, as the blood drips down me, on everything, my wrists, so silent, then i scream, cuz im bloodshot, eyes you can barely see nomore, cuz there full of blood, clear for water, the wires falling down, and strangle herself, now its 5:00 am, still awake ready to start it all over again. xx {.} isnt it funny? its like im a completly different person, no touch with reality, yes i do agree ive changed for the worst, mental in the head, my brain doesnt function right, and im different, im not normal stanger to myself its like im a complete stranger... mentally unstable, physco, not normal, im so ill, like im a complete stranger FUCK IT MAN. to crazy for normalcy NO FUNCTIONALITY THE PERFECT FUCK MY LIFE. insanity insane ive dissapointed all of them WHO AM I? nothing.. to bad for me, haha isn't it funny??? "Ms Function or KnoqoutToCrazyyes.no.or.maybe." *Flyerway; (POEM BY ME ALISA MONEE ALVAREZ/SARA BERGER) ""Have you heard the news lately, i was born to be dead, meant to be someone, but now imma noone, so now i blaqout, see you later, well maybe... Open your eyes, see yourself cry, die, break, and fade away, heartless and cold, stone cold, broken and empty, noone else knows, the pain that unfolds, the dark side of your mind, mental and lonely, how come you never told me? some reason or excuse, to keep me from me, is it because im to crazy or im sick in the head? all those stories you told me, when i was a baby, something changed right inside me, then i grew up for noone, had no love and acception, then i became different, to crazy to function, my brain is defunctioned, im old and unstable, but i am not able, to pay back the life i was grown to, crazy and physco, noone to hold me, sing rock'a'bye'baby. I guess i was born crazy, mentally ill, built a wall i cant break down, these chains tied right on me, broken and knoqued out, have you heard me lately? i am noone BUT IM BECOMING A SOMEONE I FOUND MYSELF AGAIN, THROUGH GOD, HE SAVED ME, IM READY TO BE HEALED TO BE RECOVERED END THE DARKNESS, GET BETTER, END TREATMENT, IM FUCKING READY YOU BITCHES CANT STOP ME, Im not gonna lose it all, go all out, make stupid ass choices, no dangerous stuff, imma maske the right choice I LOVE YOU GOD, THANK YOU@!!!!!"" POEM BY ME. THE END. *Johnny "JJ" Garcia/The Ends/Erin Ramos; ~Break In The Dark, Molero Fever~ Myy Storii xc :3 8/7/2012 "JJ"s awoken from his sleep, Putting Liz and brother's fire out, tonight ...Hes awake, hes awake,please save me, i cant control him anymore, i cant fight him anymore, not even for you, please mom come and save me, make him dissapear so i can see the stars again, Johnny, are you wake? are you ready to raise hell? i knew youd come back, are you gonna just stand there or are you gonna try to take over me, no no no dont touch me, to many people to much noise to much sound, no shut up, rock back and fourth, no mom please fly here tonight and save me, please no no no dont die Preston, are you really in the hospital? no hes not bleeding, open your eyes, JJ do you copy? send Preston to The Ends, the end of WHAT? no Johnny let me go, PLEASE LET ME GO, is that him? no no no no no no NOOOOOO lET GO OF ME. don't touch me DONT FUCKING TOUCH ME GET THE FUCK OFF ME. hes not dead, he cant be, im bleeding, Johnny stop not there, no i need you mom, no Johnny, no Johnny your not me, your a liar, NO IM NOT NOW HOLD STILL, IM GONNA KILL YOU, NO JOHNNY, PRESTON, MOMMY, hes now awake, processing, Johnny to Constance, send em all to The Ends, put there fire out, NOW, I SAID NOW BITCH... *Constance McMann; Saturday, 2:28 pm, Auguest 18th, 2012, Constance i need to ask you something. Dear Constance, i know how hard you worked to take care of me, but i still cant be here, alone, in this spot, sure i call you and i ask if theres a way to escape "JJ" but your answers always the same, "pull the red wire" but i dont know where it is, so please tell me, i love mom i really do, i cant choose between my real mom, and you Constance, your my sister, i call you my mom, but YOUR NOT MY FUCKING MOM. Liz Ramos, OUT... Thursday, 7:29 pm, Augest 23rd, 2012, and in the dark, he must remain. *NXSP/Erin Ramos/Liz Ramos; Things Erin did wrong... 1. told JJ about the red wire, 2. mentioned "the thing", 3. told JJ "L"s number, 4. pulled up a knife to Preston, 5. told JJ that Lisa is "L". Aye, call JJ back @2:30, call mama, to pull it all out, the numbers of "US" make the dreams harder, follow the red wire to kill it all, all the Garcias all the McManns, i thought i was outta sight, but im back on, calling Lisa 60 times a day until he kills, i dont know who, but it all means something, Lorene, i thought the socket was already electrified, i shaked and shaked, now look where i am, look where Preston is, sick as hell in the hospital bed, stop calling Lisa, im asking you Johnny, im not, im not, IM NOT break out with the green wire, i know you can, what about late night? i made a contract for the program, now JJ put me on level drop, 4RF, bitch, now I...I...shit here he comes, calling me, OH SHIT. -.- This is a blog i wrote when i was at my level 14 residential treatment center. Tuesday, 6:51 pm, Augest 21, 2012 LIFE OUTTA JOHNNYS SIGHT, WHO FUCKING TOLD YOU, I TOLD YOU SO... why JJ did you open up a new story on us, not willing to even notify me, ive been in the program for 4 fucking years, and you never mentioned "The Thing" to me, im one of you guys, i had sight put on me, and now you want me to uninstall it? JJ get it thru your damn head that im a part of "US" im not going to The Ends i know hes in the hospital. you told me he was sick, i thought you were a liar, but i know its for real this time. the outsiders think your nothing but a freak, unexsistable, fake, but i know your real, i dont want to get a new master, im out of sight, forever, this is me Elizabeth Ramos..... oh my fucking god Erin, can't you see Liz doesnt want you or need you, just shut up, i dont want to hear it, shes outta sight all because of you, NO JJ ITS NOT MY FAULT, please just give me one more chance i dont wanna go to The Ends, im sorry i mentioned "The Thing". No Erin, times up, the red wires been pulled, and its all BECAUSE OF YOU. now we have to live outta sight, and Elizabeth, when she finds out Johnny cant be her master, and ill tell her the excact reason why. Im Erin Ramos this is me... bye. What do you mean? are you saying he left? AGAIN. i know Liz, all im saying is he can no longer posess you. then how the hell am i supposed to raise hell? if it hadnt been for Erin, we wouldnt be in this fucking mess, this would have NEVER HAPPENED. no CeeCee you know what this means, were gonna be sent to The Ends, if one "Ramos' pulls the wire, all the "Ramos" will be taken to The Ends. Do you know how low functioning Erin is? NO. I DONT GIVE A SHIT IF HE IS. SEND HIM TO THE ENDS, IM NOT GOING DOWN THAT ROAD, being a "McMann" HELL NO. Liz, im so sorry, i should have told him, its not my fault, ITS NOT MY FAULT... This is Elizabeth and CeeCee. nite bitch.... Okay Tuesday, 8:38 pm, Augest 28th, 2012, this is Plumb and Erin Ramos, JESUS CHRIST HOW LONG HAVE I KNOWN YOU? for all the time ive known you, like 2 years? shit, Erin hasn't even told Johnny about you yet, Plumb. i know your my friend, my step sister, but i have to tell Johnny, if you want to be a part of "US" i have to. But what if he doesn't approve me for the program? WELL THEN GET YOUR ASS UP AND START THE PAPERWORK. what paperwork? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND? ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID? youll be sent to "The Ends" if JJ hears that, dont you EVER deny paperwork, oh and dont mention "The Thing" either. whats "The Thing"? Dont tell JJ that i told you what "The Thing" is, alright? i promise. okay "The Thing" happens excactly on December 30th, 2012. YEAH AND? what happens is all the wires will be pulled, and every person that asleep while its happening will be sent to "The Ends" Erin is gonna be sent to "The Ends" regardless, i know you like Erin, but hes your step brother, he doesnt even know you exsist, well im logging off, nite o> *Michael Alvarado-Alvaro/DANCING Squares/Veronica&Victoria Enxxelia; [[[[ -----Will You Believe Me If I Went Insane? (These are TRUE REAL Stories I had written in CHYC treatment center back in 2012, these are 100% real, about my hallucinations and me going insane, my stories && my raps.) X'd Out Bitchz-----]]]] 7/12/2012, Ronnie Irez, Coded, got in the shower half naked, sat there crying, digging deep into my skin with the blade oh I pressed it against my skin, watching it bleed, the blood rushing down, brings me to my knees, don't feel no pain, but I'm enjoying it, the blood dripping on the floor, but I don't care, just stand there, watch me bleed, at that moment I jumped and hit the ground, no tears came out, oh hell no, I tried to move but I couldn't, I was stuck, this is just payback for my choices, I tried to get up but I couldn't move a muscle, well this is how I am, visions of killing and fighting and burning down this place, so I got up and climbed out the window, I pulled out my gun, pointing it towards my mouth, thinking of death, suicide, ending it all, Johnny's got me now and I'm just fine, I assaulted 5 cops, and I ran, so faraway I couldn't be found, the world is cruel, it's full of pain, all I think about is numb blank fucked up thoughts, that's all I want to do, all I ever wanted, so I pull out the lighter and my cigarretes I smoked until I fainted, getting faded, and it all turned black , oh I'm so sad, so sad, full of pain, now I feel it, now oh I regret it, bye mom bye dad, see you later, oh no . *Charlotte McMann; 7/12/2012, fire and flames, last week was the day I did it, now I regret it but I did it, I tried to kill my other, I walked into his room and tried to choke em' watch the satisfaction on my face grow, to see him in pain, to see him suffer like I once did, tried to kill em ' all to take em' where daddy is, so we can all be together, and burn this place on fire, and kill every fool in this damn place, yeah I said it, and I'll do it , hell no bitch yo getting in my face, I'll fuck you up before you can blink, have a nice rest while I knock you out, see you in hell, cuz dats where yo ass is going, can't you hear me? can't you hear my voice or are you just ignoring it . yes you tried but you didn't make it, sorry for your loss but it's not my problem, well goodbye have sweet dreams cuz when you'll wake up it will be dark and empty, burning like my soul, like my heart, like the diamonds in your fire , cuz I'm no liar cuz yo just a fake, the cops are chasing me, you'll never catch me, cuz dats just me. Cold and over, shivering outside , the rain is falling down , try to make it through, oh sorry no I can't, I try to walk my way , but there's nowhere to go, my home is so far away, I'm cold and alone, where are you ? I need you, lead me the way I need to go , oh I need to know , where I am, where I need to go , before I lie here and die, my bodies getting old, I'm just laying here like a stone, bodies tense, muscles to hard to move, can't seem to make it any further , come on, come on , your almost there, you may not realize it , but you go to believe, just a few miles away , yes you got to believe, crawl faster, get up , please, I don't wanna see you so broken, I wanna see you try, climb , run , please please your almost there, don't give up now cuz your getting close, your thinking why try harder? but you've got to before you die and get taken away from me, I've already lost enough, I can't stand losing you, leave me like this, shattered inside , cold inside and out, skin scratched and bruised and bleeding, I'm so cold , can you see through me ? if you can please tell me, why me why now why does it have to be this way , why does it have to end like this? *Contance McMann/Erin Ramos; 7/14/2012, see your face, burn down the house, watch it fall, try to stop it but it's no use no more, later that day she burned in a fire, I ran in there, tried to save her, but you know what , she was already dead, the body was turned to ashes, I picked it up trying to bring it back to life , opening eyes like a pleasure, there were red and bloodshot, I had a mental breakdown put it in my trunk, road off the bridge deep into the ocean, we drowned to the bottom, I passed out then I woke up in a hospital bed , body scarred, face burnt, I looked up and there was Constance , I was scared, didn't mean it, I saw your face Constance, please forgive me,it was just a vision, just my mind playing tricks on me , I sorry I was sweating now I got up and slipped and fell when I saw your face, I jumped I was scared oh Erin not now , please not now, I grabbed your body and hid it, JJ killed ya, oh I saw your face , yes i saw your face, it was gone forever. ^.^ *Flyerway && Eddie/Edgar/Chillwax Alejandria; 9/3/2012 My last step, baby it's gonna be okay, don't worry ill be alright, I tried to tell you but you never listened to me I don't care anymore, what you say or what you think, I'm in pain, all over my body, the scars are infected, my life is over, as I inject the last shot of meth, I say goodbye hopeing I would die , die slowly in pain, I light the candles there on fire, I step into the bathtub, water burning, I take my last step in life, I try to cry but it's impossible to me, I'm in so much pain, I can't take it anymore , JJ is after me , trying to kill me, I just want to escape , I'm melting and falling to peices blood all over, ready to die, but then I see you, your face is shocked, you yell and cry, I can't stand to see you hurt, I try to crawl out, but it's to late, body is numb and now all I hear is sirens ringing, your crying, police trying to save my life, I feel so numb, but I don't care, this is the end and now I say, goodbye... *Elizabeth Ramos/Constance McMann/Charlotte McMann/Josephina "Paid2Kill" Hernandez; xxGotNoPleasurexc -"Seeing Me, Elizabeth Ramos , It's Like Reading A Nightmare" (my hallucination alternate life) , by me Sara Berger/Alisa Alvarez- _____Walk into the classroom with your head held high, say hello to everyone inside, my greetings warm and friendly, but when I go outside I remember that I don't have a home, and I feel alone, remember the day I dressed you up for school? The day I cried when I said my goodbye? As you got on that bus and drove away? You don't know what goes on through closed doors, at school everything seems fine , I sit down and do my work quietly and I see all my friends, and act like it's all alright , I'm scared to get in the car , what's gonna happen as soon as I leave my second home? Behind my smile and my hard work and kindness is someone broken and damaged, I can't show it besides behind closed doors. I walk into my house , no parents home, my sister Constance Ramos is inside sitting on the couch, waiting for me to come in with my substances, I pass out the liquor and the cocaine and get high every second of the day, I never had real parents cuz my dad was a physcotic killer and my mom got sent to jail for drugs , aggression , and sexual assault. My dad abused me 24/7 and put a gun to my moms head countless times, and beat her till she bleed and suffocated, he was a serial killer addicted to meth and crack cocaine, and my whole life he beat us to death , tortured us, till we blackout, and cut us up, and abused us to death. Finally he got sent to jail and he killed himself, so I didn't have a dad, no parents, I had to raise myself, my mom was so traumatized that she got Alzheimer's, she was like a 2 year old, she couldn't take care of me and she had physcotic episodes, then the police came cuz she started shooting her shotgun at the wall and all around the house and then at me as she was screaming "I wish you were dead, just like your father, go get raped or killed and kill yourself" she was not in reality she got hijacked and possessed and thought I was her husband and thought I was someone else, she didn't knew who I was, I was like a stranger and so was she, just a blank cold dis activated stranger, she wasn't my mom she was an animal who didn't know reality, and I was like bait to her for her physcotic episodes, then she drowned my head in the tub and burned me and tortured me worse then my dad as she got possessed, she shoved my head against the wall beating me and suffocating to death and stabbing me and torturing me, then she took her shotgun and pointed it towards my head, before she raped me while I was on the toilet and injected drugs into me, the police took her away and I moved to a foster home. The house parents were drug dealers, and they were crude and physcotic, they raped all the children and murdered them, they tortured us like a murderer would but we had to keep it a secret, shhhhhh they said, very quiet, they abused us bad and attempted to kill us, mainly me and this other kid Erin Vanity, we both got brain damaged , our bodies were bloody and scarred , I took Erin in as my little brother and we grew close, but he was low functioning as well, so I had to teach him, one night when we were sleeping I got a call from the neighborhood police department , saying my mom died after she got arrested she jumped out of the car and into the freeway, so I never had parents. I went through 24 foster homes where we were tortured and on drugs, finally me and Erin were on the streets for 2 years doing crazy physcotic illegal shit and killing , and that's where I met this girl named Constance Ramos who was also on the streets, she took us in and we became family , The Ramos Family, we lived together , and then Johnny Garcia came into our lives, he became my master , and me and him and his father Presly got possessed and raised hell (definition for torturing killing and doing physcotic insane and murderous Satanistic shit) he was my master and were physco insane , dysfunctional killers, and we raised hell all day and all night, doing the craziest shit u can think of, and I came home to Constance snorting cocaine and Erin smoking and having a physcotic episode, trashing the house and he was mentally 2 years old. I had no family all my life has been trauma, so I continued to raise hell with Johnny , then he took us to NXSP , a world of controlled programs we went there and raised hell like Satan would have but worse, we became physcotic killers , everybody was, finally I had a home, we were controlled and possessed and our minds were controlled and damaged and we were controlled by our minds and by our programs, I went there to raise hell , I came into the real world and they possessed me and I was out doing crazy physcotic Satanistic shit just as bad as in NXSP, I went insane and my mom was out of it (my mom in the real world) , her little girl was gone I became possessed as Elizabeth Ramos, raising hell and I still had no one so besides being physcotic and living in NXSP and dealing with possessed possessive insane hallucinations and turning me into a possessed physcotic person, i pretended to be fine. I came to school like nothing was wrong, I said my hellos and friendly greetings, but behind closed doors I was raising hell in NXSP, going crazy as Sara and Elizabeth, doing crazy shit in both of my lives. You still don't know what happens behind closed doors, cuz it isn't what it seems, when your seeing me, Elizabeth Ramos .

[noncompliant-fuckery]

1-99, it's been a while :)

I know :) but mostly cause all the ones I’ve been seeing are ones we already done or are kinky as shit and that’ll possibly be awkward.

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?

-Batman-Jaden Smith. Retrograde-James Blake. H.E.R- Focus.  Loyalty-Kendrick Lamar.  Location-Khalid. Blind Man-Xavier Omar.

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

-All of my ancestors.

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

-I don’t know where I put my books and technically the only book I have near me right now is two of my diaries which are strategically hidden in my room and that's a book, right? So anyways, “I think she was talking about me, I hope. I've been thinking about it with a smile on my face since.”

4: What do you think about most?

-college and everything i'm neglecting to do

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?

-”Your glasses should be here in a day or two.”-dad

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

Without. Just underwear. The less the better honestly 😉

7: What’s your strangest talent?

Lol Nothing will prepare you for what I have to say... So every once in awhile but not very often something will happen to my eye and if I press the part by my tear duct next to the bridge of my nose it’ll make a squeaky sound. I think it’s linked to my allergies lol

8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)

-Boys go to mars and girls go to jupiter? Haha idk

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?

-Never had the pleasure.

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?

-Probably last week tbh

11: Do you have any strange phobias?

-fear of having someone slice the back of my knees

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

-I was always more of a sticking foreign objects in my mouth kind of kid (that sounded so bad lol)

13: What’s your religion?

Agnostic I think.

14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

-Fucking around on my ripstik. At the beach, or just walking around exploring.

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

-Neither honestly.

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

-Not much of a band person but my favorite artist right now is Chance the Rapper. Green day was good at some point though.

17: What was the last lie you told?

-Probably that I support my dad getting a second job and that I stayed home all week when I didn’t. Both told to my parents. You may be an angel but I am a horrible person inside lol

18: Do you believe in karma?

-Yes.

19: What does your URL mean?

I’m half stud, and half muffin. Style wise. Named by my sister.

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

-weakness: no perseverance. strength: finding the good in every bad situation and coming up with clever ways to do things either for fun or to solve problems.

21: Who is your celebrity crush?

-Michelle Rodriguez 😍

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

-Nah

23: How do you vent your anger?

-A frustrated scream, a lot of cussing, a strong urge to punch something. But this only happens if I'm completely alone and can’t hear me and i'm not thinking about consequences. Which is quite literally never. Otherwise, I get very very quiet.

24: Do you have a collection of anything?

-I have a collection of empty water bottles littering my bedroom floor right now?

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

-Depends on the conversation and person. But I like video chatting with you to remember what you look like and sound like sometimes. Its also fun 😊

26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

-I’d say it’s a nice improvement.

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

-hate: pure silence because it is most definitely not silent. Love: the sound of grocery bags being carried into my house lol

28: What’s your biggest “what if”?

-What if I stayed in gymnastics or tae kwon do

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

-Thats complicated. I believe something happens to the dead and I’m not sure “heaven” is the end destination. Humans are aliens. We are not special and if people believe we are a lone here, their dumb af.

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

-My fan and Bob the teddy bear

31: Smell the air. What do you smell?

-Nothing, my allergies are killing me right now.

32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

-Nothing's quite made that much of an impression for me to remember such a place.

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?

-Theres no snow on the East Coast..I think

34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

-Jidenna. He has an interesting look.

35: To you, what is the meaning of life?

-Life is a grand experiment to test all that can make or break us.

36: Define Art.

- A ketchup stain on a white t-shirt.

37: Do you believe in luck?

-Depends but yes.

38: What’s the weather like right now?

-Blue skies, the sun is shining, a couple baby clouds and the wind is blowing the leaves outside my window. Seems hot.

39: What time is it?

-3:30pm

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

-Yes. So many close calls but no not yet.

41: What was the last book you read?

-Book 3 of The Testing series called Graduation Day by Joelle Charbonneau. College interrupted my finishing it.

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?

-Love it.

43: Do you have any nicknames?

-Shoshoes, Worm.

44: What was the last film you saw?

-Dawn of the Plant of the Apes or maybe Kidnap

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

-Sprained my neck and back

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?

-No there scary up close but one landed on my ass once.

47: Do you have any obsessions right now?

-Starting old shows that have like 10 seasons

48: What’s your sexual orientation?

-Lesbian

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?

-Don’t quite remember but possibly. Nothing to crazy I’m sure

50: Do you believe in magic?

-I believe that there's a possibility for it one day.

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

-Yes

52: What is your astrological sign?

-Aries 😈

53: Do you save money or spend it?

-Both. Not a good combination

54: What’s the last thing you purchased?

-Movie tickets

55: Love or lust?

-Lust

56: In a relationship?

-Nope

57: How many relationships have you had?

-One real one.

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

-lol no.

59: Where were you yesterday?

-In my room

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

-My shorts are pink and black.

61: Are you wearing socks right now?

-Less clothes the better, remember.

62: What’s your favourite animal?

-Turtles

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

-Make em laugh

64: Where is your best friend?

-Home finally I think?

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.

armyofchaos of course, elaxisfae, prettyboyshyflizzy, aniefiok, sixpenceee

66: What is your heritage?

-Who knows.

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?

-Talking you and playing Assassins Creed

68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?

-Watson

69: Biggest turn ons?

-lol

70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

-Yes

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

-Sorry little guy, I’ve got bills. But I'll call the cops or get someone's attention to do it for me.

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

-A: the important people will know. B: Complete my promises. C:Hell yea, the hell is after this life??? What happens to my inner voice? Me???

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

-Trust is love.

74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

-Off the top of my head, Yoga by Janelle Monae and Jidenna.

75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

-5703

76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

-Laughing and communicating

77: How can I win your heart?

-By giving a damn.

78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?

-If I’m to be honest, those pills.

79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

-Being friends with you

80: What size shoes do you wear?

-All my shoes right now are men's and those are size 8

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

-”Here lies a gay potato”

82: What is your favourite word?

-Fuckernaut. I call ppl that in my head quite often. Yes, that includes you.

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

-Fuck.

84: What is a saying you say a lot?

-Oh my god, honestly, definitely, seriously, jeez… I have a problem, help lol

85: What’s the last song you listened to?

-Currently,Drake-Marvins Room.

86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?

-Black, army green, burgundy.

87: What is your current desktop picture?

-Some kind of stone stairway/hallway. I should really update it.

88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

-That fucking orange cheeto with legs.

89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

-Depending on the person “How do you really feel?”

90: Turn offs?

-Trump supporters

91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

-Telekinesis.

92: where are your parents from?

-America

93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

-When my mom started getting sick

94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

-We’ll go with Kehlani today.

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

-You already know where 😊

96: Do you have any relatives in jail?

-Yup, a couple of dumbasses.

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?

-Not inside the car but out the door on the side of the road.

98: Ever been on a plane?

-When I was little.

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say.

-You stupid fucks.