#it’s really nice to have everything ironed out and confirmed but i went over that shit with a fine tooth comb and got the same conclusion

[calamitydaze]

me watching the entire internet realize what i figured out 14 months ago

[azikarue]

MayBlade 2023 : Day 8 : Glitter

Daichi/Ming-Ming | FFN Rating: K | FFN Link ❖ “Atta boy, Strata Dragoon!” Daichi cried as his beyblade landed one last powerful blow.

The force of the hit sent Ming-Ming’s blade flying into the forest, where it embedded in one of the trees with a sickening crunch. A flock of birds fled in a mass of flapping wings and fallen feathers, after which the clearing was strangely quiet.

“Oh, no – Venus!” Ming-Ming ran to free her beyblade as the dust settled.

Daichi recalled Strata Dragoon. It hit his palm forcefully, but his hands were calloused enough that he barely felt it. He gave his blade a cursory once over – a few bumps and bruises, but nothing Kenny couldn’t help him iron out – before shoving it back into his pocket and turning his attention to his opponent.

Ming-Ming was delicately picking her way back out of the forest, her beyblade clutched against her chest.

“It’s not broken, is it?” he asked when she made it out.

Ming-Ming opened her hand to reveal Venus cradled inside. It looked fine from where Daichi was standing and he breathed a sigh of relief. He didn’t need her teammates coming after him about dicing up her beyblade before the tournament had even started. He’d just been so eager for another battle…

“It looks okay…”

Ming-Ming gave him a smile that would make steam come out of Kenny’s ears.

“Just a little scratched,” she confirmed and slotted her blade back into the case strapped around her leg. She gestured to the wide open space that served as the scene of their battle and said, “The landscape is worse off.”

Daichi looked around at the deep trenches their blades had cut into the ground and shrugged. “Nothin’ a good rain won’t fix.”

Ming-Ming giggled. She was always doing that, laughing at him when he didn’t mean to be funny. He could tell his confusion was showing on his face, but Ming-Ming didn’t bother explaining herself. Instead, she took a deep breath of the sea air and walked to the edge of the lookout.

Daichi joined her. It felt rude to walk away when he’d been the one to invite her here to battle. He should’ve known she’d want to look at the scenery afterward. Girls liked that kind of junk. He guessed it was nice; the stairs lined with trees, the clearing with benches, and a nice open view of the ocean below. A little polished for his tastes, but nice.

“Do you have a coin?”

“Huh?” Daichi looked up from the pebbles he was kicking past the railing and down into the water.

“For the binoculars,” Ming-Ming elaborated with another one of those smiles.

“Oh.” Daichi flushed; he felt flustered that she’d caught him not paying attention. He reached deep into his pockets and found one of the coins he kept on hand in case he ran into a really good vending machine. “Here you go.”

“Thanks, Daichi.” Ming-Ming’s hair bounced when she spun back around to face the ocean. Everything about her was bright and bubbly, but it didn’t get under his skin as much since BEGA went down. He thought that maybe it was because the leftover annoying traits belonged to her and not the caricature BEGA had splashed all over billboards.

“Yeah, sure.” He shrugged and leaned against the rail at the edge of the outlook.

Beside him, he heard the click of the coin dropping into the binoculars, followed by a metallic squeal as she turned them to take in the view.

Daichi sighed and drummed his fingers on the railing. He watched a couple birds floating on an updraft for a while. One of them dove down to snatch a fish out of the water before shooting off into the distance. The ripples it left behind disappeared in seconds, swallowed up by the pattern of the wind on the water.

“It’s so pretty here,” Ming-Ming said wistfully. The binoculars timed out with a click and she sidestepped closer to Daichi, their elbows brushing. “This would be a perfect location for a music video.”

“I guess…” Daichi mumbled. He had no opinion one way or another, but he knew somebody who would. “Hey are you coming out with any new music? Kenny’s been wondering since they announced the tournament.” Maybe if he brought an answer back, Kenny wouldn’t be too mad that he’d let Venus scratch up Strata Dragoon.

Ming-Ming hummed, suddenly stoic. She looked out to the horizon, letting the breeze brush her bangs out of her face and carry the sweet smell of her perfume away with it.

“Kind of.”

To Daichi, who’d been waiting for an answer that sounded like one of her old interviews, it was an odd response.

“What do you mean ‘kind of’?” he asked, studying her closely.

Ming-Ming looked pensive. She didn’t meet his eyes, instead gazing out over the water like she might find the answer to his question on the horizon somewhere.

“It’s hard,” she said, pausing hesitantly for a brief moment before continuing, “after everything that happened with Boris and BEGA.” She sighed and everything from the curls in her hair to the frills on her shorts seemed to droop as her shoulders did.

She was looking down now and Daichi was hoping against hope that she didn’t start to cry or something. “That wasn’t your fault,” he said, hoping she didn’t notice how alarmed he got when the next breath she took was shaky.

“My record label thought differently.”

Daichi remembered as soon as Ming-Ming said it; Kenny had cried about her label dropping her for weeks! He winced. “I’m sure you could find another one,” he said in a hasty effort to backtrack.

“It’s not just that,” she said, sad brown eyes meeting his. “A handful of labels have reached out. Some even thought we could capitalize on the tournament to boost sales. But all of them expect the Ming-Ming from before, and I don’t know if that’s who I want to be on stage anymore. I don’t know if she exists.”

“Oh.”

He’d always known that parts of Ming-Ming’s persona had to be exaggerated. Nobody was that over-the-top and irritating. But he was just now beginning to realize that a version of her had existed before BEGA, and she had been hurt as much as her other teammates by the whole thing.

“Yeah,” Ming-Ming said, smiling again. It didn’t reach her eyes. “It doesn’t help that every time I try writing songs, I get stuck. None of them come out like they used to.”

“Maybe they shouldn’t,” Daichi said with a shrug. He’d never cared for her old music, anyway. It was all earworms and repetition. She could probably do better.

“What do you mean?”

Daichi gulped, thinking for a second that he’d offended her. But when he snuck a glance, she just looked curious.

“Well…” He trailed off with a frown, furrowing his brows thoughtfully. He didn’t know how to elaborate without sounding like a jerk. He scanned the scenery, looking for anything that would help him get his point across so they could go back to normal.

“There!” he called, pointing out at the ocean with one hand. The sun was starting to set now, reflecting in a spray of colors over the surface of the water.

“The ocean?”

“It’s pretty, right?” he asked, fixing her with a fierce look.

“It’s beautiful.” Ming-Ming nodded. “Especially during the sunset.”

“Yeah, it’s pretty on the surface with the light shining on it and stuff,” Daichi scoffed, “but there’s more to it than that. There’s a whole world underneath that nobody ever gets to see that’s way more interesting than some waves and colors that go away after the sun sets.

“Would you rather somebody talk about the sunset over and over? Or learn about everything else hiding under the surface?”

Ming-Ming looked confused. “I don’t understand.”

“You’re all frills and fluff and glitter on the outside and that’s what BEGA made you focus on,” Daichi said, wrinkling his nose in distaste. He could go his entire life without ever hearing another ‘Hey! Hey!’. “But I think all the stuff stuck underneath is probably way more interesting. If all you write is more pop garbage like BEGA made you put out, you’re really just writing about the same thing over and over. It’s no wonder you’re stuck!”

Daichi finished with a firm nod. At some point he’d looked out at the water again. When he turned back to Ming-Ming, she was staring at him like she’d never seen him before. For a second he thought he saw tears shining in her eyes and was ready to hightail it outta there, but then she blinked and they were gone, replaced with some emotion he didn’t recognize.

Daichi cleared his throat. “Anyway, that’s my two cents,” he finished somewhat awkwardly, rocking back on his heels.

“Thank you, Daichi,” Ming-Ming said. Then, without warning, she grabbed his shoulders, leaned over, and kissed him on the cheek.

“Hey!” he shouted as she pulled back and started hurrying away. He could feel his face heating up. “What was that for?!”

Ming-Ming didn’t answer, but she did turn around once, at the bottom of the stairs, to wave goodbye.

Daichi watched her go until she reached the top and disappeared from sight, feeling completely clueless. Slowly, as if he was in a daze, he reached up and touched his fingers to his cheek. They came away covered in sparkly lip gloss and he snorted to himself.

He should tell her to keep a little glitter in there, too. For Kenny’s sake, of course.

[aeterna-auroral-avenger]

Okay, so I'm very new to this blog and don't know your story about Ant-Man. AKA, how did you "find him" (ex: by following MCU movies or randomly hearing the movie from somewhere else)? What made you like him so much? Why is he important to you? Do you relate in many ways? Tell me everything. (That sounds so pushy lmao but I really am curious!)

😂 You’re fine, Anon. You’re fine I promise. First of all, welcome to my mess of a blog! Glad you’re here. I think you’re actually the first person in a long time if not ever to ask me these questions, but I’m very happy to share.

So I’ve been a big fan of Marvel ever since the first Iron Man came out. Once I watched that one, well I was hooked. Little did I know just how vast the MCU would become and how deeply involved I would be over time.

But honestly, Ant-Man slipped under my radar until I went to watch Civil War in theaters. Scott Lang made his debut into my life, and I was like *points at screen* “That’s Paul Rudd since when was he in the MCU?” I mean, I’m a fan of his, but not enough to follow everything he’s in. I watched the fight scene and watched what Scott could do. And I was intrigued.

But what really got me if I’m being honest was this.

Like this is legit how I would react too. I’d be nervous and excited and I’d get my words mixed up which happens often and I’d just be so star struck and like “Wow this is awesome!” That was so relatable that I was like “I wanna know who this guy is.”

As soon as I got home, I rented Ant-Man on my laptop, and it was hook line and sinker. I didn’t have a chance.

Scott is more like the Everyman. He’s just a regular guy trying to do what’s right, and he makes mistakes and tries to fix them and this whole superhero gig just kinda fell into his lap. He’s intelligent and kind and funny and loyal and protective over his family, especially his daughter. He doesn’t take himself seriously, but he’s such a good asset to any group and often overlooked. Much like how I overlooked him until Civil War. But I’ve looked for him ever since.

And honestly, I just see a lot of me in him. I’ve had Marvel fans I’m friends with confirm it lol. We played a game once of who are you in the MCU where the closest match in personality wins. I said I was Scott Lang, and I won the game. I have other favorites, sure, but, you know, no one else just resonates with me more. In this fandom or in any other I’m in. It’s hard to explain, but I’ve never fit more with a character before, and it’s really nice for me to have Scott.

So there’s the story. I don’t know if that’s what you were looking for or hoping for, but yeah, there it is. In my head, Scott and I are like 🤞🏻 and thick as thieves, I mean burglars lol.

[tarosin]

The great adventures of y/n tommy tubbo and ranboo - the best mcc team

this is an extra to the great adventures series

the moment you found out ranboo got into mcc you instantly ran into the room you were sharing pulling him into a hug you were honestly so proud of him and he was going to be with tubbo

“BOO I'M SO PROUD OF YOU YOU'RE GOING TO DO AMAZING”

unfortunately, you weren’t going to be in mcc this month but that didn’t stop you from being over the moon for your friend. when it was finally time for mcc you wished your friend good luck and apologised for not being able to watch his pov as you weren’t about to break the tradition of watching Tommy after all he was your first and biggest supporter. 3 hours later the event ended and everyone who was watching ranboos pov heard you faintly screaming at Tommy over discord whilst tubbo sat laughing and ranboo was concerned, he heard from Tommy that you would often yell at him however he didn’t believe that he was being honest

“FUCK YOU TOMMY STOP LAUGHING YOU HIT ME IN TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE ON PURPOSE THEN LAUGHED ABOUT ME NOT BEING IN…..fine when I get in I’m requesting to be on Scott's team…I’m still mad at you but you did great I'm so proud of you congrats Tommy I’ll see you soon goodbye”

at the start of the next month, you received a message from Scott

Scott: so I have a few things to tell you 1 - how would you feel about becoming head twitch mod it’s only fair you’ve been my mod for a while and 2 - welcome to mcc make sure to fill in the form asap!

y/n: 1 - of course I’d love to be head twitch mod and 2 - heh??

not long later you received a form at the same time as your friends, you decided not to tell anyone and somehow you managed to keep it a secret, Scott agreed to lie to the others about whos team they’re on as he knew how excited everyone was going to be. today was the day your big secret would be released, you Tommy tubbo and ranboo were sat outside when the notification went out announcing the team honestly you’ll never forget the look on their faces when they realised

MCChampionship_ tweeted: 👑announcing team green guardians 👑

@tommyinnit @tubbolive @ranboosaysstuff @y/n

Watch them in MCC on Saturday, August 28th at 8 pm BST!

“Y/N WHAT THE FUCK”

“congrats y/n”

ranboo didn’t say anything he just tackled you into a hug like you did last month when you found he was in mcc. Tommy and tubbo were still processing what they just read

“Scott fucking lied to me”

“aye I told him to”

“what the fuck”

from then the four of you would constantly stream with each other on the mcc training server, you were a strong team when you weren’t yelling at each other.

time flew by soon enough it was the 28th of August. Tommy genuinely couldn’t believe it his best friend was in mcc and on a team with him and he genuinely believed you all had a decent chance in winning as you were a strong team. Tommy invited you over to stream mcc he claimed it was because there would be three people trying to stream in the same room, in reality, it was because he wanted to see your reaction and be there for your first mcc.

Tommy let you stream from his room he had spent the previous night getting advice from tubbo on how he managed to set up so he could stream with ranboo in the same room.

“you ready y/n”

“of course I’ve been watching and learning from the best”

you and Tommy set up and joined the discord call and the mcc server, it was finally time. similarly to ranboo this was something you had wanted to do since Tommy told you all about it on your way home from school one day. 30 minutes later it was time for the games to begin and this is where the chaos began.

“you know what I hope it’s build mart”

“what the fuck y/n”

“fuck you I’m good at build mart- oh you’re joking it’s fucking parkour tag”

this is when you realised that two screaming teenagers in the same room both trying to stream the event wasn’t the best idea, you and Tommy would constantly scream at poor ranboo who was just trying to hunt the other team

“RANBOO CATCH THEM”

“really y/n?! I thought I’d let them win this round”

unsurprisingly your team was doing great you had won 7/8 rounds but there was still one more round, determined to be the one to get dream you decided to be the hunter

“y/n don’t worry if you can’t get them we’re doing well”

“Y/N IGNORE RANBOO ME AND TOMMY DON'T WANT TO LOSE”

“not putting pressure on me at all thank you boys”

being close friends with technoblade gave you an advantage you didn’t expect due to the fact he helped to “train” you for your first mcc which ended up being the reason you were able to catch them all and then helped the others avoid being caught

“tubbo he's to your left TUBBO I SAID HES TO YOUR LEFT WHY ARE YOU GOING LEFT TOMMY RUN RUN RUN RUN ranboo you’re doing great”

“NO WAY”

you had just successfully won the round against dream sapnap George and quackity and you would never let dream live this down

“do you guys think dream will let me be in one of his manhunts now”

“no”

“fuck you tubbo you’re just mad you couldn’t catch all the runners in yellow yaks. you couldn’t catch jack manifold”

so far everything was going well you were currently in 4th place and your team had high hopes. you all felt the need to confirm to your chats that you’re all not actually mad at each other and not to worry about everything.

the next game was survival games ranboo wasn’t ready for this due to the last mcc where he died pretty early on, it started well you all stuck together as a team until the game was nearly over and you got distracted by a chest and ran away from the others whilst they were fighting another team this ended up being a happy accident in disguise you got the notification that Tommy tubbo and ranboo were killed fighting another team

“oh fuck”

“WE COULD HAVE WON WAIT Y/N DID YOU DIE”

“no”

tubbo could practically hear your smile as you explained to them that you ran off and was currently under a tree watching the others fight, you used the fact they died in the game to your advantage they would tell you if anyone was coming to attack you whilst you ran around collecting loot avoiding the others shooting arrows

“AYO STOP FUCKING SHOOTING ME ITS MY FIRST MCC LET ME WIN”

“Y/N HAVE YOU GOT LAVA”

“I DO AAAAAA PISS OFF LET ME WIN”

“USE THE LAVA YOU CAN EASILY TAKE OUT HALF OF THE REMAINING PLAYERS”

to everyone’s surprise, it worked due to the border being smaller so there was less room to run soon it was you vs punz at this point you were determined to win

“GO Y/N GO GO GO HIT HIM YOU CAN DO IT”

“you’re doing so well y/n”

some may call it beginners luck but you ended up winning the fight against punz

“LETS FUCKING GO Y/N”

“I DID IT OH MY GOD”

the next game was hole in the wall and long story short you sucked, ranboo on the other hand did not. it didn’t take long for you to fall every single round. this helped the others though as you were able to yell which side the wall was coming from

“fuck this stupid game the wall hates me”

“y/n you're supposed to jump through the gaps“

“you know what no I’m going to get on a sapnap alt stream by glitching through”

this didn’t work you died again

“well fuck there I go I guess you’ve got this though guys Tommy you’re doing decent”

“I'm doing great thank you- oh I died FUCK YOU FOR DISTRACTING ME”

“blah blah blah GO TUBBO AND RANBOO”

you couldn’t believe it ranboo was one of the final people remaining, unfortunately, ranboo jumped too late resulting in him falling but nonetheless you were proud of him

“unlucky boo you all did great”

the next game was battle box the four of you had been practising this a lot so there was a lot of pressure to do well especially since you were now in the top 3 on the leaderboard, the strategies you made from practicing paid off you managed to win the majority of the rounds, however, there was a lot of screaming and arguing during the last round

“RANBOO STOP STEALING MY KILLS OR I'M GOING TO START HITTING YOU WITH A SWORD”

“he’s been stealing mine too y/n”

tubbo was honestly playing well during this game and you were amazed

unfortunately, the arguing resulted in you losing the round as you were all focusing on arguing which meant you missed the other team rushing to wool

“unlucky boys”

“7 wins out of 9 rounds honestly isn’t that bad we should still be third we just need to stay strong with the rest of the games”

during the break before the last four games, the four of you sat making plans for the next few round

“I want to get to the other side last I think that will be our strength”

there was still a rather long break left so you did what anyone else would do run around the server and yell this was a huge mistake as it messed with the soundproofing resulting in tommys mic picking you up and vice versa

“so I guess we’re streaming like this now”

“FIX IT”

“well since you asked so nicely tubso…no”

tubbo ended up doing the same to the soundproofing in the room he was in with ranboo were in meaning all four of you were now having a scuffed stream as you ran out of time to fix it because before you knew it, it was time to play sky battle

“right we should go left”

“tubbo will get iron Tommy will make the bridge and y/n will do…something”

you did the same thing techno did in the pride mcc and hid occasionally breaking blocks from underneath people so they would fall the others were doing well the game was a mixture of you all encouraging each other and you all cursing each other out whilst ranboo ignored you all and spoke to his chat

“chat I know you can hear double everyone if I could fix it I would but tubbo y/n and Tommy are being too stubborn to fix everything and we don’t have time”

“Y/N WHERE ARE YOU”

“making people fall to their death can we talk about our feelings now because this is stressful as hell”

“NOT THE TIME”

you all did decently you weren’t amazing at this game but that was expected it was something you all weren’t the biggest fan of but somehow you were all still in third place and that was something you weren’t expecting especially for your first mcc

it was now time for sands of time you all needed to do well

“bruh I wanted build mart what the fuck is this”

“we’re not going to win this game boys”

and tubbo would be corrected that that statement, you ended up having a visual glitch making it difficult, Tommy would constantly get trapped in a dungeon like last time things weren’t loading for ranboo you had no idea what tubbo was doing and quite frankly you didn’t want to find out unless it was going to be good news and considering all you could hear was tubbo yelling anything that came to mind you could guess it wasn’t going well. you tried to rage quit a couple of times only to be yelled at by the others every time you disconnected from the server

“Y/N STOP LEAVING”

“I CAN'T SEE SHIT”

“you’re doing well y/n stay calm we’re going to be fine”

“OH I CAN'T PLAY THIS GAME I'M DYSLEXIC”

“CLEARLY WE'RE NOT FINE TUBBO IS STRUGGLING TOMMY IS LOCKED IN A DUNGEON AND I CAN'T SEE SHIT...HAVE YOU GOT THE LETTER N YET”

“no, they’re spawning one in for me”

“could them maybe I don’t know speed up the process”

yeah you ended up losing that game and got knocked down the 4th good news is it was only by a couple hundred points

next up was ace race

“do yous reckon Scott's tested this map”

“aren’t you his head twitch mod”

“you’re right I'll message him and find out”

luckily you all managed to do pretty well, Tommy was off to a great start you tubbo and ranboo weren’t far behind you all agreed to follow each other rather than the crowd which paid off as when everyone else went the wrong way rather than following you all managed to go the right way thanks to ranboo yelling he thinks that he knows where to go and thankfully he was correct which put Tommy first tubbo second ranboo third and you fourth, you all ended up lapping people on your final lap and honestly, none of you guessed this would happen but you weren’t exactly complaining. a few moments later you all crossed the finishing line and were the first team to finish giving you the bonus points you needed to push you to second place

“did you know since I first got into mcc I would put y/ns name down for who I wanted to play with”

“TOMMY OH MY GODDDD”

a few seconds later you showed up on Tommy's face cam as you ran over to him giving him a hug

“you’re doing great y/n we might get into dodgebolt”

“dude we’re winning this shit”

soon enough it was time for the last game (unless you got into dodgebolt) and luckily it was to get to the other side

“we've got this we have actually got this we’re going to get to dodgebolt”

you stuck with Tommy for almost every round mainly because speed bridging wasn’t for you. you were all doing great you were the first team to finish for multiple rounds however you were also the last team to finish for a few rounds

“boys I'm not sure if we’ll get through”

“We all had fun”

“if we get into dodgebolt we’re going to be against dream”

“WILL YOU ALL FUCKING FOCUS”

“no- OW TOMMY HIT ME WITH A PEN”

“IT WAS THE CLOSEST THING WOULD YOU RATHER I CHUCK MY COMPUTER MOUSE”

“will you two quit fighting we’re about to find out the final scores.”

3..2..1

“oh my god”

“what the fuck”

“ranboo and y/n are about to play dodgebolt”

“LETS GO WHAT THE FUCK”

you all did it you successfully kept 2nd place somehow now all you had to do was win dodgebolt against dream George sapnap and quackity. safe to say you and ranboo were nervous as fuck and rightfully so as you all lost the first game

“let’s be serious we need to focus now”

you all won the next round

“LETS FUCKING GO WE'VE GOT THIS”

it was now the third round Tommy and tubbo were now out it was you and ranboo against dream and sapnap

“bruh were fucked ranboo”

ranboo took aim and somehow hit sapnap whilst you took a moment to type a message in chat

y/n: it’s my first mcc how do you feel knowing you’re about to lose

it was now your turn to take aim and Tommy yelling in the background wasn’t helping you and the yelling made you shoot before you were ready luckily ranboo picked up an arrow and was able to hit dream, it was now 1 vs 2 if you won this round you would all be the champions and that’s exactly what happened you all quit yelling at each other hell you muted the discord call so you could focus all you could hear was Tommy next to you occasionally supporting you

“come on y/n final round. you’re about to win your first mcc I’m so proud of you”

“you’re doing amazing Tommy thank you for everything now let’s win this thing”

and just like that, it was over Tommy took the final shot and hit sapnap

you all unmuted the four of you yelling

“TOMMY TUBBO RANBOO I'M SO PROUD OF YOU GUYS”

“WE DID IT WE FUCKING DID IT”

“OH MY GOD”

“WELL DONE EVERYONE”

this time Tommy ran over to you pulling you into a hug he was genuinely so proud of you and the others

“you did it y/n you won your first mcc that’s amazing”

“I couldn’t have done it without you or the others I love you all”

after talking to the other teams and ending stream

you and Tommy stayed on call with tubbo and ranboo

“you two need to make your way back here”

“me and y/n could probably catch a train if we’re very quick”

you nodded and quickly grabbed everything you needed thankfully your good luck hadn’t come to an end yet as you and Tommy were able to catch one of the last trains, Tommy had an arm around you as he noticed you were getting tired after all you did just go through the stress of your first mcc to over 170k viewers you ended up falling asleep on his shoulder a few hours passed and you were at the last stop Tommy lightly tapped your shoulder

“hey y/n were here tubbo and ranboo are waiting for us over there…let’s go celebrate this win shall we”

an: do not publish my work :)

taglist:

@emma0nline @fuzzycloudsz @wtfwriter @bearytime @milkydisaster @dumb-chaotic-bi-energy @uselesssapphickitten @l0ver0fj0y @etheriaaly @xx-smiley-xx @hawarun @kylobensgirl @cawcaw-pretty-thing @reverse-iak @renleicrashed @augustine-is-joy @c1loudee

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 311: Hand Gun

Previously on BnHA: Horikoshi was all “thinkin’ about dropping in some woke analogies of the very real and very presently relevant issue of racial profiling idk what do you guys think” and then shrugged and did it without waiting for an answer, and ngl it was a bit sudden, but I’m here for it. All Might was all “DEKU YOU NEED TO EAT” and Deku was all “OKAY” and took his hero bento and went to go stand dramatically on a tower in the rain whilst having some highly anticipated Vestige flashbacks. OFA II was all, “sup, I guess I’m not Kacchan... OR AM I,” and ngl I think he is?? Alternate universes anybody?? Hello??? But anyway, so OFA the First a.k.a. Yoichi was all “remember that time you guys rescued me from my evil brother and Two took my hand and we Had A Moment?”, and Two and Three were all “ahh yeah good times”, and it was very nice and very, very gay. The chapter ended with it being very unclear if Two and Three have actually lent their power to Deku yet or not lmao. Y’all need to get your shit together dudes.

Today on BnHA: Horikoshi is all “what if I gave a random bad guy a fucking tommy gun that shoots nails” and jesus christ calm down son. The Hawksquad, a.k.a. SQUAWK as per @hotchocolatier​, are all “time to drive aimlessly around town acting like Deku has a restraining order on us because that’s literally the best plan to combat the League we could come up with,” and I have no further comment. Hawks is all “idk about you guys but I want to know more about AFO and Tomura’s whole deal” and I can’t remember the last time I identified so strongly with one of these characters. All Might is all, “[EXPLODES???]”, and the chapter ends with that mysterious hot girl from the Tartarus breakout being all “HELLO I CAN TURN INTO A GUN AND I LITERALLY DON’T GIVE A FUCK” and (1) WOW, and (2) IT’S TRUE, SHE CAN, AND SHE REALLY DOESN’T. GODDAMN.

(ETA: so this wholly escaped my notice on the first go, and also has nothing to do with the chapter itself, but I only just realized that this chapter was scanlated by a new group, TCB Scans. they actually did a very good job, and I’m curious if they’ve found a new RAW provider, because the quality this week is actually crazy good in comparison to what we’ve been dealing with for the past few months. I’m gonna have to get caught up on what exactly happened here lol.)

so what will it be this week? more Vestige antics? more of Sad Nomad Deku standing on buildings and pretending like he’s some cool aloof antihero, as if he could fool us when we all know his hero backpack is secretly stuffed full with his nerd diaries and the remnants of all the hero bentos that All Might keeps giving him?? or, just putting it out there, just a crazy thought, but you don’t suppose we might actually cut back to U.A.? mmm. side-eyes emoji

maaaaaan I’m starting to get tired of this trend of beginning chapters by dropping in on random power-tripping civilians and/or Shindou lol. just once can we get a chapter that opens with someone I actually give a fuck about

oh at least Endeavor is here

A WHAT SUPPORT ITEM!??! HOLY SHIT DDLKJSLFKJL

lol somehow that’s more terrifying than bullets for me?? like I’m fully aware that bullets will fuck you up way worse and that in real life nail guns probably don’t work like this AT ALL and only have a range of like... hold up let me just google... up to 100 to 150 m/s and distances of up to 500m wait WHAT

okay wait. hold up. like I was expecting google to tell me nail guns only shoot a few feet at most, and instead the first search result is some CDC blog article that’s “dispelling” the “””myth””” -- please note my repeated sarcastic quotation marks -- that nail guns can fire 1400 feet per second, by explaining that actually they can fire anywhere from 315 ft/sec to 1,295 ft/sec, and that “it is in the pneumatic nail gun user’s best interest to handle these tools as if they were a firearm despite having a lower velocity” dlkjdslkjflkl

SO THAT SCENE IN IRON MAN 3 WHERE TONY RAIDS A HOME DEPOT AND BUYS A BUNCH OF RANDOM TOOLS AND SHIT AND GOES ON TO STAGE A ONE-MAN INVASION OF AN INTERNATIONAL TERRORIST’S FLORIDA MANSION HQ IS ACTUALLY TRUE. YOU’RE TELLING ME THAT THE FILM “HOME ALONE” IS ACTUALLY A DOCUMENTARY. “the Discovery Channel television program “Mythbusters” compared the penetration capacity of an airborne projectile shot from a pneumatic framing nail gun to that of a 9mm hand gun” HELLO YES AND A MERRY “WHAT THE FUCK” TO YOU AS WELL

anyway, so. there’s apparently a reason why the Number One hero, who can burn people with the intensity of a sun going supernova, is hiding here behind this concrete support column making frowny faces. nope. nuh uh. he ain’t about that. I don’t blame you buddy

so now he’s barrel rolling out of his hiding place and setting this dude THE FUCK ON FIRE because HELL NO. BAD ENOUGH I HAD TO WATCH THAT FUCKING MUSHROOM EPISODE LAST WEEK! YOU TAKE THAT SHIT SOMEWHERE ELSE

LOL look at his face

I know the context is actually him being all “I know I’m responsible for basically everything that happened and so that’s why I’m so grim and serious about this mission to set things right piece by piece,” but in my mind this pissed-off face is 100% all because this dude tried to shoot his eye out with a nail gun. look at that. you made him go full flame face again. beard and all. protecting his face so that it can hopefully melt any stray nails that get too close. nope nope nope

good lord. so what’s up next. let me guess the guy fighting Best Jeanist has like an atomic chainsaw or some shit

lol nope we’re just cutting back to Hawks and Jeanist chilling in the Jesla after they’ve wrapped things up

Jeanist has got some serious Groot energy you guys jesus christ he’s like 12 feet tall

oh snap someone threw a pipe at him now

today is just the chapter of Endeavor being assaulted by random DIY tools I guess

I mean, I get why they’re pissed at him obviously; I would be too lol. but tbh I also don’t really understand the “get out of here we don’t want your help” attitude that all of these people suddenly seem to have?? like it if were me, I would be fucking DEMANDING for him and the other heroes to be working round the clock to fix their stupid mess. I mean who else is gonna do it?? it’s their mess, I sure don’t want to be the one to clean it up instead. anyways but whatever lol

oh shit?

so they haven’t dropped the whole “OFA secret potentially gets revealed to the world” thing yet after all. that makes sense I suppose, it did seem like that whole thing wound up playing out a bit too easily

anyway so yeah

the locals are definitely none too happy. well at least Dabi’s got something to be cheerful about I guess

so now we’re cutting to the interior of the Jesla and they’re chitchatting about the current investigation

oh wow this actually makes a bit of sense now. so there was a reason they were keeping their distance from Deku

please note that even in this abstract Endeavor’s-Mental-Image-Of-Him panel, Deku’s eyes still don’t have the light in them anymore :( my poor son

also ftr I still think using Deku as bait in this particular sense is the shittiest idea ever ngl. like sure, let’s let the sixteen-year-old run around battling miscellaneous escaped prison convicts while we stay several kilometers away ON PURPOSE despite the fact that you’re using him as bait to draw out the Big Bad, who just a reminder can destroy anything with a mere touch and who you were all basically helpless against. what exactly are you all planning to do if Tomura or one of the other League VIPs actually shows up to retrieve him?? are you even keeping tabs on him at all in real time?? jesus

(ETA: well that escalated quickly lol.)

Horikoshi is all of a sudden dropping whole pages of exposition here and I can’t be bothered to summarize this lol so just,

a big fat YES to what Jeanist said, though. that’s why imo they would have been better off laying a trap at U.A. rather than just wandering around out in the open. I assume they’re trying to cut their potential losses because U.A. is full of students (and civilians), but those students also happen to be more capable than pretty much anyone else in the manga at this point. and tbh they’re already in life-threatening danger regardless of how things play out from here on, so they might as well at least try to use the few advantages they have right now. U.A. is almost certainly going to come under siege at some point anyway, so they might as well prepare for it

lol I don’t think I’m explaining this very well because I don’t have the patience right now to break it down point by point like it really ought to be, so for now I’ll just say that imo “U.A. siege” stands a good chance of being the eventual endgame even now, and so this whole “Deku runs around being bait” arc is really just killing time until then lol. like and subscribe for more rambling nonsensical takes such as this. maybe next time I’ll even put it all into one single sentence for maximum meandering senior citizen rant value

well it’s nice that they’re finally talking about all of this I guess

we readers have known all of this for months now but this confirms the heroes are finally caught up. ALSO, Hawks is so fucking smart, as always. kinda wonder if things would have played out differently if All Might had let him in on the secret a bit earlier. probably that’s why Horikoshi made damn sure they didn’t find out until after the War arc lol

OH MY GOD YOOOOOO HAWKS OUT HERE ASKING THE REAL QUESTIONS

“anyone else wondering why AFO bothered to raise Tomura as his fake heir for fifteen years when he was secretly planning on taking over his body the whole time” YES, [raises hand] lmao Hawks where the hell were you when I was debating this “AFO is the final villain and Tomura is just his pawn” thing on multiple occasions over the past several years lol

lmao seeing them debate the metaphysics of OFA and all of its mystical bullshit is seriously surreal you guys

JEANIST HAVE YOU CHECKED OUT MY META TAG I HAVE WRITTEN SO MANY ESSAYS. I ACTUALLY WAS PLANNING ON WRITING ANOTHER ESSAY ABOUT THE THING THAT I’M PRETTY SURE HAWKS IS ABOUT TO BRING UP, BUT I NEVER GOT AROUND TO IT WHOOPS, BUT MAYBE I WILL NOW LOL LET’S SEE HOW IT GOES

yes!!

WHICH AFO FUCKING ENSURED HE WOULD BE BY LITERALLY PLANNING OUT EVERY LAST DETAIL OF HIS FAMILY TRAGEDY, FROM SECRETLY GIVING TENKO THE QUIRK TO MAKING SURE NO CIVILIANS OR HEROES WOULD HELP HIM UNTIL AFO FINALLY STEPPED IN. I’M 1000% CONVINCED THIS IS THE CASE YOU GUYS. NOT JUST BECAUSE I’M NOT A FAN OF “THE WORLD IS A FUNDAMENTALLY SHITTY PLACE, ACTUALLY” TAKES BECAUSE MISTER ROGERS TOLD ME TO ALWAYS LOOK FOR THE HELPERS, BUT ALSO BECAUSE IT LITERALLY JUST DOESN’T MAKE A LICK OF SENSE OTHERWISE. THEIR ENTIRE HOUSE CAVED IN FFS, YOU’RE TELLING ME NONE OF THE NEIGHBORS FUCKING OVERHEARD THAT SHIT AND WENT “UMMMMMMMMM” AND WENT TO SEE WHAT WAS GOING ON?? “DIDN’T THERE USED TO BE A HOUSE HERE, AND LIKE A WHOLE FAMILY, AND SHIT?”

LIKE I’M SORRY, BUT IT’S ONE THING TO SAY IT’S REALISTIC THAT NOT A SINGLE PERSON WOULD ATTEMPT TO HELP THE WANDERING TRAUMATIZED CHILD AFTERWARDS (WHICH I DISAGREE WITH AS WELL BUT AT LEAST THAT’S MORE SUBJECTIVE), AND IT’S A WHOLE OTHER THING TO ARGUE THAT IT’S REALISTIC THAT NO ONE WOULD BE FUCKING NOSY. LIKE THAT’S A WHOLE DIFFERENT LEVEL OF “THAT’S NOT HOW ANY OF THIS WORKS” ENTIRELY LOL. anyway tl;dr AFO is a piece of shit and Tomura’s entire worldview is based on a magnificently intricate and savagely cruel lie more at 11

anyway so after all that ranting it looks like that wasn’t even what Hawks was talking about after all lol. I just went off for absolutely no reason lol oh well. instead it seems that Hawks is suggesting that Tomura’s carefully cultivated hatred might not yet have actually reached “can defeat OFA” levels even after all of that trauma. interesting!

don’t mind me, I’m just sitting here while my brain furiously scrambles to put together all the parallels between Hawks and Tomura that it never noticed before until exactly this second. like I’m not even sure that was the intent here at all (I need to check out another translation or two lol), but regardless my mind decided that now would be the perfect time to make the connection between these two twenty-somethings who both had horrific childhoods and spent years being molded by their respective manipulative guardians, and developed eerily similar “laugh at everything because what else can you do” coping mechanisms to deal with it all hmmmmm

anyway so they were talking more about their strategy, but now all of a sudden Jeanist’s phone is beeping??

AND NOW WE’RE CUTTING AWAY TO ALL MIGHT AND HIS MIGHTMOBILE DAMMIT so that means the call to Jeanist was actually something important then!! WAS IT BAKUGOU OMG. DOES YOUR INTERN WANT A WORD FFFKLFSJK please it’s been so long I just need a little crumb or two to tide me over lmao have mercy

anyway so All Might’s following the GPS tracking device he’s apparently got planted on Deku (which in my conspiracy headcanons he’s actually had for a long time now, like since before DvK2 lol because HOW ELSE WOULD HAVE HAVE KNOWN THAT THEY WERE FIGHTING EACH OTHER IN GROUND BETA, PEOPLE) and thinking angsty thoughts about Deku’s sucky life

AND NOW ALL MIGHT’S PHONE IS RINGING TOO?? BAKUGOU HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE YOU CALLING. “WHERE ARE YOU HIDING THE NERD GODDAMMIT”

OMG

lol is he under attack or is he just finally giving All Might the slip like we all know he SECRETLY PLANNED TO ALL ALONG oh my poor dumb angstmuffin

OMG AHHHHHHH WHAT

DID ALL MIGHT JUST FUCKING DIE LMAO NO OF COURSE NOT, BUT WHAT

WHAT IS HAPPENING OMG

THE FUCK IS THAT. AT LEAST IT’S NOT A NAIL

OH IT’S A SPEAKER!! OMG DID THEY TAKE ALL MIGHT HOSTAGE

“THEY’RE HERE” WELP, TIME TO SEE JUST HOW SHITTY THIS SHITTY PLAN REALLY IS LOL

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

SHE!!!!

omg. AND OVERHAUL JUST CHILLING THERE IN THE BACKGROUND ALL “WHAT DO YOU EVEN WANT ME TO DO I’VE GOT NO FUCKING ARMS” YEAH GOOD RIDDANCE LOL

DOES THIS GIRL HAVE ONE GIANT LEG OR WHAT, LIKE WHAT’S THE DEAL HERE

-- HOLD UP WAIT, THE GUN IS HER ARM, HOLY SHIT SHE CAN TURN INTO A GUN -- OKAY HOLD UP BECAUSE I NEED TO SAY THAT IN BIGGER TEXT BECAUSE !!!!

YOU GUYS, THE COOL TARTARUS GIRL IS BACK AND HER QUIRK IS “CAN TURN INTO A FUCKING GUN.” THIS IS NOT A DRILL!! MY BEST GIRL MT. GUN IS FINALLY BACK ON THE SCENE WITH HER QUIRK “CAN DO ANYTHING A GUN CAN DO.” “I HEARD Y’ALL WENT AND NAMED ONE OF YOUR HEROES ‘GUNHEAD’ EVEN THOUGH HIS HEAD ISN’T EVEN A GUN, LIKE WTF IS UP WITH THAT LET ME SHOW YOU HOW IT’S DONE” DANG OKAY

lmao only fifteen pages this week, and STILL NO KACCHAN (THEN WHO WAS PHONE!!!), but man I don’t even care because finally we’ve got a cliffhanger that’s actually deserving of being a cliffhanger! hot dog. okay then

[miraculouscontent]

*rubs hands together*

The first thing to talk about with this episode is the pacing, and I think this might contribute to why people think it’s the best/least bad of Season 4 (personally, I’d rather watch “Furious Fu” but that’s just me; also, this isn’t the only contributing factor as to why I think people might feel this way, but I’ll get there later).

The episode has a very serious pacing issue, particularly with its more intense scenes. There’s only one minute of time dedicated to Ladybug landing on her bed, de-transforming, and her snapping at her friends plus them leaving. More time was spent on Chat Noir and Ladybug in the movie theater and Ladybug storming out.

I particularly remember watching the episode and getting eighteen minutes in, at which point I had the realization of, “It feels like nothing’s happened?”

This episode is supposed to be a big gut punch, but the season has been going by at the speed of sound, like they’re trying desperately to play all their cards at once (Lukanette break-up, Adrimi break-up, then Alya is told Marinette’s secret identity). Instead of letting things build and play out for a while in the interest of suspense, the show just throws whatever will get a big reaction out of the fandom (whether positive or negative) and it doesn’t care how shoddily put together everything is. The first two episodes feel like hastily put together drafts, and while this one is technically more put together, it still feels like a draft.

Let’s just start with Chat Noir, who feels completely out of place in the episode. Not only does he imply that he intentionally calls Ladybug “Bugaboo” (which she has told him to stop doing) in order to get a reaction out of her, but when Ladybug insists that she doesn’t want to talk, he tricks her into thinking that he has a good location to do so (and my heart breaks a little at how readily she trusts him) only to then take her to a romantic movie, then shush her when she calls him out for it because she “said she didn’t want to talk.”

Gee, and people wonder why she didn’t tell him her secret (even outside of “Chat Blanc” existing)?

And... look, I know it’s a joke, but I do not find it funny. The “joke” is basically that Chat Noir is taking advantage of the situation to flirt with Ladybug, and though I find it at least mildly cathartic that Ladybug is unaffected by all the people staring at them while Chat Noir is embarrassed, this episode is coming right after the one where Kagami broke up with Adrien, and here Chat Noir is getting his flirt game on. I already talked about all my problems with “Lies” so I won’t do it again, but I’ll just say that it’s not a mystery why Ladybug doesn’t want to talk to him and would rather avoid her problems.

(Not to mention that Ladybug knows that Chat Noir likes her, so talking about her romantic problems with him is awkward to say the least and would come off as insensitive.)

Honestly, at this point I feel like they must be building to something with Chat, like Ladybug finally going off of him with no mercy and that forces him to give up/fall out of love for her because reverse love square, but if that’s what they intend to go for, then that means Marinette is going to fall for this guy who’s repeatedly disrespected her feelings for multiple seasons, almost abandoned her and let Paris drown because she wouldn’t tell him a secret that wasn’t hers to tell, and just generally all the other things he did????

Ugh, I don’t wanna think about it. Let’s just move on.

Talking about Ladybug and her rant next, it basically summarizes the whole show in a nutshell, but simultaneously casts a shadow of sorts over “Truth” for people who maybe missed the episode entirely (which is also sort of the show in a nutshell). I mean, Ladybug confirming to the audience that she was genuinely in love and happy with Luka (you can’t watch how depressed she was over the break-up and not think that) was great, but Ladybug’s dialog implies that Luka “hated secrets” and that’s why they broke up, when Luka was more just... hurt that she couldn’t be honest with him, and he didn’t actively hate secrets. Marinette broke up with him because she felt like she had to; because she had to keep ditching and lie to him.

In addition, what she says also hints to the audience that they’ve both held and kissed each other, which not only indicates cowardice on the part of the staff (”yeah this happened but--um--off-screen; we’d still like credit tho plz”), but may perhaps go back to the theory I had about how Adrimi and Lukanette were supposed to last longer in Season 4 but their arcs got cut (based on the Adrimi kiss having supposed to have gone off). This could mean that Ladybug’s statement was originally accurate to canon but the scenes got cut and the scriptwriters just awkwardly left it in, which is made more awkward by the cinema scene in “Truth” that felt like Luka and Marinette were kissing for the first time (again, alluding to the whole, “this entire season has been a draft” thing).

Also, if you think about what that actually means - that Luka and Marinette did have successful dates and kisses but they were off-screen - then all it adds up to is that showing Marinette happy and comfortable was something that the series didn’t deem as “interesting/fun enough” to show, because Marinette being happy isn’t something they want to see; only watching her be miserable, which is exactly what Ladybug says, along with how everything was “almost too simple, too easy,” because Marinette isn’t allowed to have nice things without being jammed through the wringer first.

And... sure, let’s say that Chat Noir thought the movie was genuinely a good idea; let’s assume that it could be a joke, him wanting to flirt, and him believing that it’d make her feel better somehow.

If that’s the case, then where’s the apology when it fails miserably? Ladybug goes from her semi-anxious state at the start of the episode (a little scatterbrained but ultimately just looking for a distraction), to outright enraged by the movie, and then to this upon leaving the cinema.

She just got her heart broken from being forced to break up with a boy she genuinely wanted to be with and there’s not a single, “Okay, maybe coming here was a bad idea, I’m sorry,” (which could’ve been seen as another joke with the audience like “lol no duh Chat Noir” so there’s no excuse not to have it) or, “My bad, that was insensitive of me. I really thought this would’ve helped but I wasn’t thinking about what you would’ve wanted.”

No. The only people Chat apologizes to are the other people at the theater because he’s embarrassed by Ladybug’s reactions, yet he himself feels no remorse for taking her there and has the gall to go on now about how he’s “there for her if she wants to talk.”

Again, it’s no wonder Ladybug doesn’t want to open up to him.

And I’m sorry, I just don’t buy that Marinette suddenly has all this free time. It’s one thing for her to have a little more time now that she’s broken up with her boyfriend (likely avoiding spending time with him altogether now), but “Truth” went out of its way to talk about all of the emergencies she had to deal with and how she doesn’t have any spare time. which is causing her to become forgetful and lose track of certain events (patrols with Chat, dates with Luka, etcetera), yet Marinette spends most of “Gang of Secrets” simply sulking on her bed. It’s so jarring to go from “Truth” where she was doing “too much” (which I called them out on for not describing what the “too much” she was doing was) and now “Gang of Secrets” where she’s not doing anything.

It’s almost like they invented that plot point to break Lukanette up and it served no purpose outside of it.

Furthermore, the scenes of her finally talking to Tikki and then deciding to live as Ladybug does nothing outside of making the plot more predictable, the latter because of the “Alya almost sees Ladybug” moment (an obvious indicator that Marinette is losing control and is struggling to maintain her secret identity due to her emotionally breaking down) and the former because of Tikki herself and what she doesn’t say.

Because, really, think about what actually goes on in the scene. Marinette (eyes rimmed red and filled with unshed tears, as she is for a good chunk of the episode) is venting to Tikki about - yes - her love life, but also that she has to lie to everyone in order to keep her identity a secret. The fact that Tikki focuses solely on the note of Marinette’s love life and not say a word about the identity/lying issue or even consider telling Marinette, “hey, this is clearly too much for you, you should tell someone, I think the benefits outweigh the risks right now,” really proves that the episode tried to avoid the topic altogether to try and make the ending more shocking (which ironically made it more predictable).

So yeah, not only does Tikki’s dialog with Marinette provide nothing except for a line about how she can’t help Marinette with love issues due to kwami not falling in love (alright, I guess aros can’t give good love advice then or have any input whatsoever), but Marinette’s line about lying to everyone being why she can’t pursue Adrien nor Luka is repeated in the very last scene of the episode. The only reason that scene and the scene after exist is because the writers needed Marinette to be emotionally devastated enough to leave for her balcony as Ladybug for the almost-reveal to Alya and so Rose would get close enough to the dollhouse to have an almost-reveal with the Miracle Box, making the scene feel further contrived because the emotional punch of Marinette wanting to live as Ladybug lasts for barely any time at all.

And it could’ve served a purpose, like if Ladybug had genuinely left and Alya finds her goggles and towel, recognizing them from a news story about how Ladybug had gone to the swimming pool after losing her temper at the cinema, which could’ve led to Shadow Moth making the girls believe that Ladybug was no longer heroic and had kidnapped Marinette, or... heck, Ladybug coming back inside would’ve been so much less jarring if she came back because she heard the girls’ voices talking about the dollhouse and had to hurry (but of course, then they’d have to point out the ridiculousness of Ladybug not hearing Alya calling her and the girls not hearing Ladybug literally shouting for Shadow Moth to come fight her, even though the kwami heard the girls calling for Marinette from the balcony).

But instead, the entire scene feels off and unnatural, forcing every part of it in order to get to where Marinette has to snap at the girls to make them leave.

(Oh, by the way, just a little detail to add to the annoyance: they bothered putting Tom and Sabine in the episode when the girls are leaving, clearly saddened by something that happened, and neither parent even bothers to go and check on Marinette to see if she’s upset or just to see what might’ve happened. They’re such a “blink-and-you’ll-miss it” moment in the episode and it’s not like I’m surprised because they’ve done this multiple times by now but really?)

As for the girls themselves... oof, where do I even begin?

Alright, first off is the annoyance that they assume Marinette’s problems relate only to lovesickness. Marinette has been an anxiety-prone mess throughout the entire series, and suddenly now the girls care about Marinette’s love problems on an emotional level rather than “we’ll meddle sometimes unless we don’t feel like it and be wholly inconsistent on how much we push for it.”? It’s not that I don’t see how they came to the conclusion (hearing that Luka and Marinette broke up and now seeing Marinette is depressed, it checks out), but considering they bothered noting that Marinette hadn’t told them anything, one would think they’d come to the conclusion of, “okay, we haven’t talked to her, we have no idea of what’s going on, maybe we don’t know her as well as we thought then and shouldn’t make guesses.”

Secondly is the “eternal friendship bracelet,” which comes off as a copy of the “Secrets” game from “Syren” extremely manipulative. Mylene goes on to explain that one is supposed to give a secret to the pearl “mentally,” yet when the girls actually show up to see Marinette, they expect to be told the secret directly. I’ve already talked at length about peer pressure and the mental stress Marinette goes through when they mock her and/or meddle for her, but this idea of, “well we all used this friendship bracelet after we mutually agreed to it so now it’s your turn because we said so!” just comes off really bad. I know the episode is going for this idea that their hearts are in the right place, but they’re really not. It feels like they’re the ones in denial and are trying to compensate by forcing Marinette to prove that they’re friends, unable to handle the idea that they might not be as close to her as they thought.

Thirdly, the show acts as if the girl squad are her only friends when we know that’s not true because we’ve seen episodes like “Befana” (the guys in the class), “Reverser” (Marc), “Ikari Gozen” (Kagami), and “Silencer” (Ivan) that all established Marinette having more friends than just them, but for the sake of “drama” and the depressing line of, “at least I don’t have any more friends to lie to,” the episode just pretends like Marinette’s friends are limited to Luka (who she had to break up with) and the girl squad (who she forced to leave and refuse the friendship of).

Fourthly is the actual set-up and the sheer grossness of it all. The girls call Marinette and leave a message about how they much they love her and how she can talk to them “where and when” she wants, and then - immediately afterwards - decide that they’re going to go straight to Marinette’s house completely unannounced, go into her room completely unannounced (not even knocking, by the way), and when Marinette begs them to leave, Alya basically tells her that she’s overreacting. When Marinette demands that they leave, Alya refuses and makes demands right back that they won’t leave until she tells them what’s wrong.

So much for “where and when” she wanted, right? It’s already one thing for the girls to invade Marinette’s privacy and demand/guilt-trip answers out of her, but it’s another thing to give the illusion of respecting her feelings and personal space only to actively plan to go back on it. I can’t tell if it’s a bad draft that they didn’t catch in quality check (you know, the quality check that they definitely don’t have) or just an intentional way to make them seem more sympathetic so Marinette looks worse for driving them out, but either way, it’s awful and I hate it. I would’ve rather had them be all in on invading Marinette’s privacy and learn a lesson in the end than outright contradict themselves.

There are also little nitpicks I could make (like Juleka’s constant mumbling despite Luka’s crush on Marinette playing a role in the episode, Horrificator getting sidelined due to being mute, and the girls’ akumatization ultimately being for spectacle and nothing else, serving no purpose to the plot and being furthered by the fact that Timebreaker goes after Marinette despite it being a bad idea and Reflekta’s power clearly not lining up with any sort of plan), but the real issue issue here comes down to the fact that these are Marinette’s so-called “friends” and the episode refuses to address their actual issues.

Alix, who is known for making rude comments at Marinette (”Gigantitan,” “Chat Blanc,” “Miraculous New York”) and then gives mixed messages by going along with meddling anyway.

Mylene, who is the closest thing to a background character in the girl squad but nevertheless finds her way into being definite voice against Marinette in “Chameleon.”

Juleka, who blamed Marinette for things she didn’t do in “Reflekdoll” and got huffy with her until Marinette apologized for said things.

Rose, who outright screamed at Marinette in “Chat Blanc” over a freaking stuffed animal, which pressured Marinette enough that she snuck into Adrien’s room to deliver her gift which nearly led to the end of the world.

And, of course, Alya; freaking Alya. I don’t even have to go into every single thing she’s ever done because I have a history of giving her absolutely no mercy.

...But let’s go through some anyway because I want to.

“Copycat” - Alya gives Marinette a script and tells her to memorize it, then immediately pushes the “call” button when Marinette hesitates after Marinette had just told Alya that she’s awful at improv.

“Darkblade” - Alya takes a jab at Marinette when Marinette says that she’s too busy to be class representative, implying that Alya thinks that Marinette does absolutely nothing with her time.

“Gamer” - Alya is busy recording the gaming competition when she and Marinette were supposed to be researching for a term paper. Alya then scolds Marinette for wanting to use the competition to get close to Adrien only to do a 180 and put up a fight about it when Marinette decides to quit.

“Animan” and how “The Puppeteer 2″ follows up on it - oh, I’m not going to touch that particular point right now, but keep those in the back of your mind, because I am going to absolutely go off later

“Simon Says” - Similarly to Marinette’s parents, Alya gives zero damns about whatever might be going on in Marinette’s life that's causing her to miss classes.

"Despair Bear” - Alya laughs at Marinette being forced to kiss Chloe’s cheek and then outright compares Marinette to Chloe after knocking Chloe multiple times during the episode (sure, just compare your “best friend” to her multi-year bully, how "hilarious” of you).

“Gigantitan” - Alya has no qualms about mocking Marinette’s over her failures, even if it embarrasses her and she’s been through enough already.

“Frozer” - Alya tries to find ways for Marinette to prevent herself from third-wheeling for Adrien, but when Marinette tries to show character growth by wanting to go, Alya gets into a shouting match with the other girls over how Marinette has “liked Adrien forever and isn’t going to give up now”.

“Catalyst” - Alya claims that Marinette is only salty over Lila out of jealousy when “Frozer” exists and literally is the prime evidence of Adrien liking another girl and Marinette telling Alya outright and very genuinely that she’s not jealous.

“Chameleon” - Alya doesn’t care about her best friend sitting in the back by herself while Alya herself get to sit next to her boyfriend and everyone else in general gets to sit where they want (Alya even acting confused at the mere suggestion that she’d tried to engineer things to let Marinette sit next to Adrien), then not only believes Lila over Marinette but contradicts herself twice (asking Marinette for proof when she has none herself, then claiming that she wouldn’t let her best friend sit by herself).

“Christmaster” - Alya leaves Marinette to babysit so she and Nino can go out on a date.

“Desperada” - Alya suddenly is for Lukanette for literally one episode and doesn’t know how/doesn’t even try to cover for Marinette’s Adrien blindness despite mocking her for multiple seasons over it.

“Reflekdoll” - Alya invites Adrien to something that’s crucial for Marinette to focus on after Marinette has already told her not to and continues meddling to the point where it gets Juleka akumatized (she also doesn’t get punished for it and the blame gets thrown onto Marinette).

“The Puppeteer 2″ - Alya pushes her luck with Nathalie to try and get Marinette to come with her, Nino, Adrien, and Manon to the museum, then traps Marinette in a room with Adrien to force her to spent alone time with him, even abandoning and forgetting about the child that she offered to watch for Marinette so she and her boyfriend can go off alone.

“Miraculous New York” - Alya is told directly by Marinette that she needs help seeing Adrien as a friend, which leads Alya to do the exact opposite throughout the entire special, at one point shouting at Marinette and pressuring her to chase after a car, in the rain, while there’s a supervillain rampaging through Paris, and all of this right after the scheme that Alya had set up caused both Marinette and Adrien to go missing.

And just saying, as Marinette’s supposed “best friend,” Alya sure doesn’t know how to handle her. It was acceptable back in “The Bubbler” when she asked Marinette about signing the gift too late and the same goes for “Dark Cupid,” but by the time we get to late Season 2/3 and Alya refuses to learn Marinette’s weak spots (unless it’s to mock her) and adjust accordingly (like if she’d already made sure the gift was signed in “Chat Blanc,” which would’ve prevented Adrien seeing Ladybug at all due to the time difference), it starts getting infuriating.

A best friend is supposed to cover for their friend’s weaknesses. Alya doesn’t do that; she meddles and often drives Marinette’s anxiety even further up a wall with absolutely no consideration for Marinette’s feelings (”Dark Cupid,” “The Puppeteer 2,” “Reflekdoll,” “Miraculous New York”).

And here, she and the other girls are rewarded for it. Luka actively resisted his akumatization whereas the girls gave in immediately, yet Marinette still opens up to them in the end, likely because they had pressured her and made her feel bad for the secrets she was keeping while Luka was willing to actually wait for her to be ready to talk to him. I can’t put into words how frustrating it is watching these girls trample all over Marinette’s feelings, not have their worst actions called out, and then jump cut post-deakumatization to Marinette telling them exactly what they wanted to know about her love life.

You know what this entire episode is really missing, outside of a coherent plot, properly-paced development, and a basic understanding of rewarding a character for things they’ve held firmly to?

It’s missing the apology. Chat Noir apologizes to a bunch of moviegoers and Rose apologizes for the broken dollhouse, but no one apologizes to Marinette for how they treated her, especially not the “friends” who got rewarded in the end.

“Sorry, we shouldn’t have told you that we’d respect your feelings and then showed up unannounced to make you talk about them.”

“We’re sorry we came into your room and invaded your privacy. You were right to be mad at us.”

“Oh my gosh, Marinette, we got akumatized and we’re so sorry for literally all five of us going after you and probably scaring the living daylights out of you.”

And as if that wasn’t enough, guess what else this is missing? It’s kind of important and brought up directly in the episode, yet the episode simultaneously goes out of its way not to bring it up again.

It’s the reason why Marinette didn’t tell the girls about her relationship with Luka. It’s not there - it’s missing - and the girls never try to pursue the subject. They talk about how Marinette didn’t tell them but don’t think for a second that maybe it’s them who have failed as friends. Instead, they don’t guess anything about why Marinette wouldn’t tell them (which is already strange considering how much they already assume about her) and jump straight to, “well clearly we just need to push for her to talk to us.”

Gonna just go out on a limb here and say that maybe - just maybe - Marinette didn’t tell them because they are habitually pushy in everything they do.

Because they would’ve teased her relentlessly about, “ohhhh you’ve got eyes for Luka? what about Aaaaaadrien~? aren’t you sooo tooorn between both of these cute guys?”

Because they would’ve meddled to force her and Luka together and gotten on her case when/if she ever had to bail on him.

Because their intrusion on her feelings for Adrien had caused her nothing but problems and she just wanted to be with Luka in peace without them forcing their way into things.

Because--hey, wild thought--maybe they’re not really friends???

But the episode completely avoids it, because that would’ve meant addressing it; it would’ve meant acknowledging that they messed up, which - fun fact - they actually don’t do in the episode.

They invaded Marinette’s privacy, insisted that she tell them how she feels (not about them of course because that would imply that they felt like they screwed up), and in the end it’s Marinette who gives them exactly what they asked of her, and the closest thing we get to acknowledging anything is Alix telling her/joking with her that they’ll help her confess to whoever she likes as soon as she tells them she’s ready.

That’s not an apology. That’s not an acknowledgment of wrongdoing. Even when the five of them are about to get akumatized, it’s not a circle of them saying, “here’s how I screwed up, I could’ve done better but I didn’t and I lost Marinette because of it.”

No. It’s just them talking about how sad the situation is. Mylene has the closest thing to remorse in saying, “I hoped it would work,” but where does it go? A grand total of nowhere, especially because Marinette still takes the bracelet in the end instead of the girls mutually deciding, “okay, maybe the bracelet was a bad idea; how about we all agree on making something together instead, no requirements attached?”

And then the episode has the gall to act as if Alya has gone through character growth when all they did was put Alya through the same thing that Chloe did. I’ll explain that last bit momentarily, but first let’s talk about the whole “growth” thing.

Because there’s no apology or acknowledgement of wrongdoing, all Alya does when she’s finally alone with Marinette is do a 180 from where she was at the start of the episode, going from, “friends have to tell each other everything,” to, “hey, if you don’t want to tell me, then that’s your right.”

The crucial part that’s supposed to go in the middle is missing. Instead of acknowledging her failures, Alya just cuts straight to “””being a better friend,”““ but storytelling doesn’t work that way.

It literally would have taken zero effort to fit an acknowledgement into that scene. “You don’t have to tell me everything, I get that now. All my meddling’s done is hurt you and I’m so sorry. I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t trust me.”

In a world where Marinette has to apologize for everything, has to learn lessons and suffer because the narrative says so, I will not accept anything less from other characters who are trying to develop and improve. That’s not fair to Marinette, nor has it ever been.

Instead of properly developing Alya, the show does whatever it can to get its audience to root for her as Marinette’s “best friend” (ugh) without having to put in the effort of admitting that Alya hasn’t been Marinette’s “best” friend.

Remember when I brought up Chloe? Yeah, “Malediktator” did a similar thing, showing Chloe doing something awful, then being sad (while not actually acknowledging the thing she did wrong), and in the end she was rewarded with a miraculous prematurely.

One show of character from Chloe and Marinette gave her a miraculous. One show of character from Alya and Marinette told her that she was Ladybug.

(Also, for the record, I think Chloe is far worse than Alya character-wise and I’m not comparing their characters; this is just the simplest comparison I can draw here from a narrative standpoint.)

“Miraculer” is another apt comparison, perhaps even more so. Chloe got Hawk Moth in her head after an akuma landed in her photo of her and Ladybug, but Chloe resisted and fought back, ultimately forcing the akuma out of her and freeing herself from Hawk Moth’s control.

But it wasn’t to develop her character; no, it was to convince the audience of Chloe and Sabrina’s friendship so they’d feel something during Sabrina’s happy flashbacks, then lay the foundation of tricking viewers into believing that Chloe might not go to Hawk Moth’s side.

At the end of the day, it was doing something that’s “never been done before” in order for the character to earn brownie points for something that the writers can just have them do because willpower is an easy thing to just write in. “Gang of Secrets” does the exact same thing when Lady Wifi breaks free from Shadow Moth, with Ladybug even hammering it home by talking about how no one’s ever done it before.

And the pacing is - again - awful. Not only is Ladybug banking on this working when she herself says that it’s never been done, but the conversation between her and Lady Wifi where Ladybug tries to convince her doesn’t even take a minute.

It also has nothing to do with Marinette herself; Ladybug relies on Alya’s adoration/friendship with her as Ladybug (you know, after Alya took a photo of LadyNoir kissing and posted it online without Ladybug’s consent, betrayed her by putting information on the LadyBlog that Hawk Moth was able to take advantage of, and is the only hero outside of Chloe to resist returning a miraculous) in order to break from Hawk Moth’s control, because talking about Marinette with Lady Wifi didn’t even work.

(Ladybug also uses her yoyo as a portal to the Miracle Box when this has never been pre-established to be a thing despite Ladybug acting as if she knew it was; further proof that this episode was rushed.)

And of course talking about Marinette didn’t work, because that would’ve meant convincing Alya that her reason for getting akumatized was “wrong” and the episode didn’t want to do that. It didn’t want someone else actually learning something and feeling bad; surely, this is just Alya being manipulated by Shadow Moth and having the power to break free because Ladybug “needs Rena Rouge” and not because Lady Wifi and her friends are chasing after their supposed best friend and that’s--you know--wrong???

Rena Rouge’s reappearance is also yet another thing the episode refuses to address because it avoids the topic of “but my identity--”. At least “Heart Hunter” had the tact to have Kagami question why Ladybug was giving her the dragon again, but “Gang of Secrets” treads as lightly as possible on any discussion of identities outside of Marinette saying that she can’t, as if it were Marinette who made the choice of concealing her identity and not the basic idea of heroing that has been stressed over and over for the whole show.

Even Plagg of all kwami stated back in “Origins” that no one is supposed to know about secret identities, a rule that continues becoming flaky and muddled with each passing season, almost like they kept attempting to retcon and make the audience dulled to the idea so that the reveal in “Gang of Secrets” would be more acceptable.

But now, with the way they did it and how they don’t even have Tikki comment on the matter, it once again has it look like they’re making it - say it with me, everyone - Marinette’s fault.

Alya says that Marinette has a choice in telling her secret, Marinette insists that she doesn’t and goes on and on about how it’ll change everything, and then just... tells Alya her secret in the end.

And remember all the way back in Season 2? “Sapotis”?

Alya: What were you saying about her secret identity?

Marinette: Ladybug needs it to protect her family and friends. Otherwise the villains could use them to get to her.

Alya: Well, if I knew who Ladybug really was, I'd keep it a secret. I would even help her! Like say, if you were Ladybug, I'd cover for you — when you needed to transform in school, go fight the "baddies", you know?

Marinette: Oh yeah? Well, if I was Ladybug I wouldn't even tell you, to protect you from the "baddies", you know?

Alya: You serious? If I was Ladybug, I'd totally tell you! Because I tell my best friend everything.

And now here we are in “Gang of Secrets,” as if the narrative is saying, “See, Marinette? Alya was right all along, you were just being ridiculous and making yourself suffer for no reason!”

Yet Marinette had a right to keep her secrets. When Alya and Nino learned each other’s identities, Alya took a hit for Nino in “Catalyst” and both of them fell to Scarlet Moth’s akumas. Chloe was a mess and a half because of Hawk Moth knowing her identity. Fu had told Marinette that her miraculous would get taken if she and Chat Noir learned each other’s identities.

The only ones who received no consequences due to someone knowing their identity were Pegase (who Chat Noir and Markov knew), Ryuko (who Chat Noir, Ikari Gozen, and Hawk Moth knew), and Viperion (who Adrien knew). “Chat Blanc” also exists where Marinette got the impression that people discovering her identity would be a disaster, and even all the way back in “Lady Wifi” insisted that not telling anyone her identity was “listening to her head and not her heart,” and the narrative has relentlessly humiliated her for going with her heart, so yeah, probably for the best.

I hate that the episode avoids talking about anything identity-related outside of what comes out of Marinette’s mouth to make it appear like it was her choice all along. I hate that they had Tikki fixate on Marinette’s love problems instead of having her actually support Marinette and admit that Marinette should tell someone before she has a mental breakdown. I hate that the episode inserts Rena Rouge into the plot as if to brush all identity issues away so as to make Marinette’s identity reveal seem less jarring.

Now, of course I’m glad Marinette told someone. Of course I want her to get love and support from someone. Of course I think the benefits outweigh the risks, or I wouldn’t have written multiple fix-its where her identity gets revealed in some way or someone already knows.

But I didn’t want it to be Alya, because I knew how they’d do it. I knew they’d do it wrong and I knew that they wouldn’t have the courage to address Alya’s issues properly.

Those familiar with my blog will know that I’d been taking negative predictions for future seasons for a while and adding them to cards whenever they were proven right. Does anyone remember the Season 4 predictions that were proven correct for “Gang of Secrets,” specifically these ones?

- “Alya will suddenly be portrayed as a good/worthy friend to Marinette in/if there's an episode where Marinette tells her that she's Ladybug”

- “Alya resisting Shadow Moth/fighting back against him will be used to excuse telling Alya Marinette's secret identity“

- “Alya will know that Marinette is Ladybug first because "BFFs" despite being one of the worst candidates for it“

- “The secret that broke Lukanette up will be resolved in episode 3 when Marinette tells Alya“

Each and every one of those were mine, because I knew that whether Season 4 had a proper chronological order or not, the writers would not have the guts to develop Alya first and then have Marinette tell her in a future episode after Alya has properly earned it.

I knew that they wouldn’t take time to develop Alya. I knew that they would have Alya resist Shadow Moth to make Alya look “worthy” of the secret. I knew that Alya would swoop in during the last minute and a half of an episode, insisting that Marinette “didn’t have to tell her anything” when Alya had been pushy and insistent for the entire rest of the episode and the whole series in general, and would ultimately be rewarded with the big secret simply because she’s “the best friend” and that’s it.

The Alya at the end of the episode isn’t the Alya I’ve known for the entire rest of the series before this, or at the very least they turned her into an Alya I don’t recognize.

Alya claims during the ending scene that she knows that Marinette is hiding something beyond her love problems because she - as a reporter and “her best friend” - can sense such things, and all I’m left wondering is

w h e r e ?

Where and when has Alya been suspicious or worried about Marinette keeping a secret from her? What, back in “The Pharoah” where she didn’t immediately disregard Marinette for the role of Ladybug, or “Simon Says” where she vaguely teased Marinette about having a double life, both Season 1 episodes?

Where was Alya in “Truth” saying that she didn’t know Marinette’s secret but knew that she was keeping one? Where was Alya anywhere in Season 3 being concerned that Marinette hasn’t told her something? Where was this “supposedly very observant” Alya when Marinette needed her to out Lila because Lila got her expelled--oh wait, Alya “observed” that Lila did nothing and Marinette was just jealous.

What, is it only now that Alya suddenly “knows” that Marinette is hiding something else? Now, after Alya has already not known that Marinette was literally dating someone, even when Alya had multiples pictures of Marinette and said someone giving each other heart eyes and saw Marinette leaving school with said someone riding on the same bike together, you know, like normal, typical, average friends would?

Where’s the line where Alya acknowledges the problem? Where’s Alya sitting down with Marinette and admitting, “hey, I’m sorry I haven’t noticed this stuff, but I promise I’ll do better starting right now, and that’s how I know now that you’re hiding something else, and I’m sorry it took me so long to realize that it’s been hurting you”?

I can’t tell you where it is, but I can say that it’s certainly not in this episode. 60% of the episode features the Alya we knew from the rest of the series and then switches her out the second she’s de-akumatized for another Alya who hasn’t done anything that the old one has because she pretends like it didn’t happen.

You know how I know? Because of this absolute gut punch of a line that showed that the series wanted to handwave everything away.

“I know how to keep a secret.”

...Really? Does she now? Well, I hope everyone remembered my point about “Animan” and “The Puppeteer 2,” because I’m bringing it right back.

Considering that “Truth” has been burned into all of our memories, we all definitely remember when Truth shoots Alya and questions her on Marinette’s secret, to which Alya states that Marinette’s secret is, “She’s in love with Adrien Agreste.” Now, at the time of Season 4′s airing, this is very much not a secret, as most characters already knew about Marinette’s crush, to the point where it’d been broadcast on television during Season 2.

But do you know when it was actually a secret? Back in Season 1, specifically in the episode “Animan” where Alya told Nino.

And not only did she tell Nino, but she lied to Marinette by claiming that she didn’t, acting as if Nino knew that Marinette had a crush but didn’t know who she was crushing on, which is then directly proven false as Nino accidentally implies that he does know who it is. This is also after Alya had gotten on Marinette’s case for trying to set her up with Nino, and then she had the gall to say that she wouldn’t spill Marinette’s secret because she, and I quote, “doesn't go around making decisions for other people,“ a statement that is directly contradicted by this little thing known as everything Alya has ever said and done in the entire series.

And while Marinette meddling in Alya’s love life actually ended up working out for Alya, Alya meddling in Marinette’s by telling Nino who Marinette is crushing on comes back to bite Marinette - not Alya (because of course) - in the infamous episode of “The Puppeteer 2,” where Marinette realizes that Alya really did tell Nino that she was crushing on Adrien.

Marinette: You told me you wouldn't tell Nino!

Alya: I haven't told him. Right, Nino? I didn't tell you anything. (elbows him)

Nino: She didn't tell me. And besides, I told her I wouldn't tell.

Then, when she’s called out on it, Alya lies again, and shamelessly so.

Marinette: Why did you tell Nino everything? You promised you wouldn't!

Alya: I didn't, I swear! Besides, even if I had told him everything, he would still be clueless. Ugh, who cares anyway? I've set everything up with Nino, who doesn't know a thing, so you can finally pour your heart out to Adrien, girl!

And now, here we are one season later - and not even half of a season if you go by production code order - and Alya claims that she knows how to keep a secret.

No. No, she does not. In fact, she does even worse because she won’t even admit when she’s spilled said secret. I absolutely refuse to accept that Alya is “worthy” or “deserving” of learning that Marinette is Ladybug when she couldn’t even keep a basic secret like who her friend was crushing on.

And no, it didn’t matter that Nino was her boyfriend, or that maybe she thought it would work out because Nino was friends with Adrien. By that logic, Alya would tell Adrien that Marinette is Ladybug if she heard that Ladybug is who Adrien was crushing on and we all know how that would’ve gone.

Marinette has a right to tell her secret to whoever she wants and I’m glad that a burden has been lifted from her, but that doesn’t mean I have to be happy that it’s Alya. That doesn’t mean I have to be happy that, after so many moments of Alya disrespecting Marinette’s feelings, she is the one who gets to hear the big secret that the fandom has been waiting for someone to find out about since the very start of the series.

Luka said it best in “Truth” that the truth is meant to be shared, not taken by force, but Marinette was forced to tell Alya by the narrative because Alya is her supposed “best friend.” It pushed Marinette to her breaking point, forced her to break up with the guy who has respected her agency and feelings since the day they met, and gave her a version of her “best friend” with the same name and face but with none of the responsibility from previous events so that said version was there at the right time and the right place to hear what had to be heard.

And in the end, I end up feeling nothing. Marinette doesn’t even have a “Marinette” reaction to saying it as one would expect; for her to blurt it out and then immediately start panicking until Alya hugs her to calm her down. Instead, Marinette just says it and stares silently at Alya - after blabbing this huge, very big deal of a secret - until Alya goes in for a hug (the “happy/hopeful” ending of which is why I feel like this episode also gets less flak, as the previous two ended off rather depressing/upsetting).

It’s off. Everything is off. The pacing, the delivery, and the logic that the episode uses. The emotion in Marinette’s voice when she’s rambling about how hard it is to keep her secret is so powerful, but then the ending hits and she just says it, breaking the momentum they had going. They pulled the card of Alya walking away too soon when they could’ve saved it, having Marinette go quiet and letting Alya take a few steps away in order to let the moment build before Marinette finally blurts out the secret she’s been painfully holding in.

But they didn’t, and I’m so many levels of dissatisfied. I wasn’t against the idea of Alya learning Marinette’s secret at some point (though honestly, Alix would’ve been a better pick considering that Bunnyx will know eventually anyway, and I say that not even liking Alix!), but not now; not when Alya had so much to work towards.

And now what? What happens now? Now Alya will turn against Lila, not because she learned to have faith and believe in Marinette, but because Marinette is Ladybug, which disproves Lila’s ultimate lie that got Alya’s attention in the first place? Now Alya will be supportive and less teasing/mocking whenever Marinette will be late, not because she understands that Marinette isn’t perfect and has so many other things on her mind, but because she’s Ladybug and has “hero stuff” to take care of? Now Alya will be careful about what she puts on the LadyBlog, not because she respected Ladybug and what Ladybug would want, but because Ladybug is now her best friend and that changes everything?

Because now, Alya has a free pass to all of that, the show making her spontaneously “developed” now so they won’t have to develop her later, and disappointing doesn’t even begin to describe it.

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

The Pack: Heated Petals

Summary- 2.7k Alpha Steve x Little One Reader. Steve is finishing up a project and was planning on taking you out but things get side tracked and turns out you two are not leaving for a while. 

Warnings- Smut, Female receiving Oral. 18+ readers only please. 

Written for @imanuglywombat​ “Is that even a sex position” weekly challenge. Divider made by @firefly-graphics​

“Weekend plans?” Sam asked Steve while they waited for the logs to be unloaded from the back of the truck to be sent into the mill to be filed down and then Steve could arrange to have them shipped out to buyers. It had been a busy week, both the Alpha and Steve feeling like they neglected you in that time. Early days and late nights had him giving you a chaste kiss while out the door and quick bouts of sex late in the night before you curled up to him to sleep. 

No, he had to make it right. “I’m thinking about a weekend away, take Little One to a nice dinner, maybe go into the city and get a suite for us for the weekend.” Steve checked the time, anxious to get finished so he could do just that, he never was able to take you out on a date or a trip anywhere just for the two of you. “Peak foliage season right now, I think she would enjoy all of it.” The Alpha agreed with Steve, thumps of his tail marking his approval. 

“Sounds good, Sara is gonna catch a hint of that and be wanting to do the same.” Sam grinned while the last log got unloaded. “Think I might just steal your idea.” 

Steve dug for his keys now that they could head back. “Do it Man, I'm not one to stand in the way of love.” Sam rolled his eyes at the Pack Leader, Steve flashing him a grin as he hauled himself back into the truck. 

You woke up knowing what was going to happen. Your thighs kept clenching together for the relieving pressure it would put on your pussy that started to ache. Not even playing with yourself in the shower had helped relieve it till Steve could get home. Growling in the hot water as you leaned your forehead against the coolness of the shower tile, willing yourself to just calm down. Your Alpha would be home soon. 

The Little Wolf whimpered, her ears flattening against her skull in discomfort. <Call him maybe?> 

I can’t, it's still early and he has been busting his ass to get this last order done. He's stressed out enough as it is. You countered with the Little Wolf, who although miserable with want, agreed that you were right. 

You both were stronger then the heat, you could get through today. 

Just as a precaution, you messaged Sara cancelling your typical coffee date. She didn't ask why, it was thankfully an unspoken understanding between shifters what was going on. Then you paced, back and forth through the cabin, out onto the deck and down to the dock, trying to let the cool fall air ease you to relax. 

If anything it all made you more on edge. Your gut clenching, and your thighs sticky while your pussy throbbed with what felt like every beat of your heart. Throb Throb Throb. 

You clenched your fists and pressed them against the top of your quivering thighs, whispering out “Son of a bitch.” To the only thing around you, the still lake water that seemed so calm, the complete opposite to the Little Wolf crying for her mate inside. 

He will be home soon, I know it. It's Friday. He always cuts the crew loose on Friday. You reasoned, probably more for your sanity then anything, but you could feel the Little Wolf try to settle down with that knowledge. It was then you heard the heavy machinery of the crew's gear rambling down the dirt road leading to the compound and you turned on your toes, head tilted listening for one in particular. The one Steve always took up the mountain. 

The distinct rattle of exhaust sounded and you broke into a sprint back along the dock and up the stairs. Buzzing through the house, you sprang onto the porch, tilting your nose up to inhale deeply, searching for him. Tangles of scents hit you. 

Motor Oil, the trees lining the compound, the cool musty lake, other pack members. None of them were your Alphas heavy calming scent of pine forest and iron, a soothing balm to your soul as well as gasoline to the embers of your hormones driving you mad. 

But it didn't take long for you to locate it, swarming your senses to cloud your mind of rational thought. Steve was in the garage, with a few other stragglers. He always stayed behind to make sure the equipment was put away correctly, a man was only able to work as good as the tools provided for him. 

You skipped down the steps and sprinted again, right now you needed one thing and one thing only. You needed Steve.

Steve was just wiping his hands on a rag, biding the others a good weekend when his back stiffened. It was so distinct, the flooding of honeysuckle that had long ago became a pleasure scent for him, the one that was all you. Steve wasn't the only one to sense it, the other shifters still in the garage pausing to look warily back at the Alpha. Steve’s hair on the back of his neck stood on end, and the Alpha immediately raised from his slumber in the back of his mind. The Wolf’s hackles raised seeing so many between him and the Little One, his Little One who was just in heat and it made Steve’s mouth water and cock ache just catching the faintest whiff of you. But you were growing stronger, just outside of the garage door, and the Wolf started pressing for control of Steve, ready to rip through his lingering pack mates to get to you. Steve did what he could to keep the beast in control. “Get out” He growled deeply, challenging any to oppose him. 

Then you stepped in the doorway and that growl in Steve’s chest turned more threatening, short of a snarl. “Little One, come over here.” Demanded while his nostrils kept flaring, scenting you and you pushed through the packmates who were making a hasty retreat. It was dangerous to get between an Alpha and his mate in heat. Steve never broke eye contact with you, using you making your way towards him as his lifeline to keep in control. The Alpha visibly started shaking in restraint when you would accidentally brush against another on your way to him. The moment you reached him, the garage door slammed shut to the pair, leaving them alone. 

Steve immediately circled your waist with his hands and picked you up to perch on a nearby pickup truck's hood. Pressing his face into the top of your thighs, pressing in against the juncture of them, inhaling the addictive scent that had turned him completely feral in the moment. 

Your fingers pressed into his hair and pressed him in closer as he inhaled against your heat, your hips rolling into his face with a whine. “I really need you Alpha.” 

He bit the top of your thigh lightly before moving back to start working your pants open while you leaned back on your elbows, tilting your head back to try and breath through the next wave of arousal scorching you now that your Mate was close. Your panties and jeans were starting to stick to your skin, and felt so constricting. Your legs kicked out as he started to pull them down. 

“Fuck Little One, why didn’t you call me to come home? There was no need for you to suffer like this.” He growled in a reprimand as he tugged your pants off and you lifted your head guilty while his hands braced along the inside of your thighs and spread them apart to groan at the sight of slick covered petals, swollen in need for him. His cock so fucking hard in his jeans, raging with desire to sink into your heat and knot you while filling you full of cum. But this wasn’t about him. 

You rocked a bit under his gaze, which Steve didn't try to hide the fact that he was staring right in your most intimate spot that was weeping for him, ready to feel your Alpha claim you in every which way. “Because I didn't want to bother you while you were so busy.” 

His eyes snapped up and he stepped in closer, his fingers digging into your thighs. “I thought we went over this, when you go into heat, you're my focus. Fuck everything else.” Harsh kisses started at your ankle and moved up as he lifted a leg to lope over his shoulder, his tongue dragging through the slick on your inner most part of your thigh, but he yet didn't touch your sensitive folds and that made you whine sharply in protest at how he bypassed it. 

“We did-” You panted as your heel pressed into his upper shoulder blade, the cool air washing over your heated core making you shiver. Steve repeated the action with kissing your ankle and then biting in your calf sharp enough to leave his teeth imprint, cutting you off. 

“Next time Little One, you won’t wait, correct?” Dragging his tongue back up your inner thigh and resting his chin against the top of your mound, arched brows waiting for you to confirm. 

The Little Wolf huffed in frustration at you holding out from answering him right away, snapping at you while Steve nudged his nose through the tufts of pubic hair, also holding out on you till you growled out. 

“Yes Alpha, Yes. Please now?” You lifted your hips to have him touch you where you most wanted and strong hands were quick to grasp your ass cheeks, keeping you raised up near his mouth. “Even the Little Wolf is scolding me now.” You huffed and he chuckled as now he let the tip of his nose follow your slit, dragging your scent in like he could drown himself in it. 

“Cause she has common sense.” He teased, when he buried his mouth into your folds, dragging through the slick folds and sucking those sensitive petals into his mouth. You tensed at the sensation of Steve feasting on you. He never was subtle about how much he enjoyed you sprawled open like this for him. Groans and growls following thick hard laps of his tongue, pressing his face harder into sensitive flesh till you swore he imprinted himself into you. 

Slick mess coated his chin as he spread your petals apart to your weeping channel tightening with the sensations of the tip of his tongue tracing tight circles around, dipping into tease the walls before leaving you wanting more while he turned attention to your clit. 

Your sensitive little clit that he tugged between teeth that made you squeal and try to rock into him, scratching a bit at the truck's hood with a screech through the old paint job. “Steve! Fuck Alpha.” You yelped at him and he shook his head to stimulate you more while glancing up at you heatedly. 

“This pussy is mine Little One, I'm going to enjoy my meal.” He sucked the top of your mound into his mouth, his tongue putting pressure against your swollen bud till you were rocking to grind into his face, his hands helping you move back and forth. Now you gushed around him, coats of arousal catching in his beard, glistening while he rubbed his chin against your thigh with a scratchy brush against soft skin, turning it red. Rubbing his scent into you as well as marking you. 

Plump handfuls of your flesh in his hands made him strengthen his grasp on you, digging in harshly while you tried to make your own rocky demands. It would be some time till those fingertip bruises left your flesh, just as his sharp bites to your inner thighs or the beard burn your folds were taking. He was heady with intoxication on your honeysuckle arousal. Warm and enticing, he could keep buried in your pussy just because you were so good to him, slurping up your addicting juices with demanding lips and tongue, your quivering flesh captured in his teeth and he suckled on you. Loud growls overtook the wet sound of him feasting on your pussy, and in no time you started thrashing in your orgasm, bangs of your body on the unforgiving metal of the truck hood. 

He lifted for air, your body heaving as you tried to catch air and your head tilted back while you let the satisfaction of your orgasm wash over you for a few moments of relief with that first orgasm. Steve massaged his hands against your ass while your trembling thighs fell off his shoulders to drape over the edge of the hood. He pulled you open for him once more and the cold air once more made your sweat streaked body goosebump. Steve eased your hips to rest on the edge of the pickups hood, you let your sticky back rest down, running your hands up and down your still clenching body, riding out the last of your orgasm as you heard a zipper drop and buckle open. 

Closing your eyes while you hummed happily, you could already feel the coil spiral in your lower belly, but knowing your Alpha was just about to knot you kept you from getting too impatient. Steve leaned over you while grasping your hips to pull you to the edge. Your legs wrapped around his hips while you reached up to grasp his biceps, to pull yourself up to sit. 

“Mmhh, hold on Little One.” Steve warned before pressing his erection into you. There was no easing in, stretching you open, he just forced himself hilt deep and you revealed in the way it burned with a hiss escaping you, his ruts deep and demanding while you did just as he told you. Digging into his straining biceps and tightening around his hips that rocked upwards to continue railing you, ready to knot your weeping pussy when you came for him again. 

It wouldn't be long, so sensitive after he ate you out. Your head dropped to his shoulders while he grunted against your ear, bouncing you off him and the truck's hood while he pulled you up and down his cock. 

“So fucking good Little One.” He bit your neck sharply while mummering the words, muffling his noises while he angled himself. Reaching between your bodies, he thrummed your clit expertly, causing your flutters to start clenching his pounding cock, until you shuddered around him, coming again while giving a cry into his shoulder, loosening your hold a bit tiredly and letting your body just go slack. But he didn't let you sink back, he crushed you tighter to his chest, his thrusts staggering with utmost goal in mind and when he painted your channel for the first time, the knot followed to keep his seed deep in you, small thrusts pushing him deeper till he stalled with a moan, licking where he bit you harshly to clean any blood dotting the mark before pulling back. His hold loosens a bit to rub up and down your back.

You to lift your head, purring while you pressed your lips to his, nuzzling your nose against his before brushing your face against his in a affectionate way, your hands sliding from where you grasped his biceps to smooth along his chest, lifting and lowering under his palm where he was breathing heavily. 

“Can I ride you next?” You asked heatedly, your mind still lust filled with desire to have him fill you with his seed again. Rubbing your body against his while moaning at the way his knot kept you stretched and stuffed with him. “We could probably sneak back home now.” 

Steve growled, placing nipping kisses along your face and then sucking on your neck. “Why do we have to go back home? Little One, that is exactly what truck beds are made for.” Circling his arms under your thighs and ass, he lifted you off the hood while you were still full of him, making you squeak in shock at the movement and tightening your legs around his waist to keep you in place while he carried you around to the back, making you giggle excitedly as he set you down on the edge, easing from you now that his knot loosened. You moved to crawl into the truck bed, him following along right behind you with grabbing hands and flipped to his back, pulling your thighs to straddle him. Instead of easing you down though, Steve pulled you up towards his face, licking his lips. 

“But you can only ride my cock after your ride my face Little One.” 

[smolcobie]

Hyunjae | Butterfly Effect

↪ Summary: After a dangerous fire, Hyunjae is unable to hide his feelings for you.

Word Count: 3,5k

Warnings: Suggestive | Fire | Friends To Lovers | Heavy Making Out

Genre: Hyunjae x Reader | HYUNJAE FIREFIGHTER AU | Female Reader

Dedicated to my fav deobi friend @santacruz-sand​ <3

Human beings are known for their daily mistakes. We used to say that every day we make a mistake, some don't make that much difference, others can change the course of your life, better known as the butterfly effect. Each action has its reaction, gradually shaping the path you will take in life.

Some say that this is fate, that no matter how much you try to escape, it will happen. Others prefer to believe that you create your own destiny. I didn't believe in any of these theories, in fact, I always preferred to think that it is easier to do your best every day than to be disappointed by the path you took because you thought that this was your destiny after all.

The greatest example that my theory was real, was seeing how my best friend lived. Every single day he left early, before the sun came up, and came back when it was night. Being a firefighter required perfection in his form, discipline, punctuality, courage to face his fears, and a lot of willingness to risk his own life for the benefit of society.

I watched him cautiously, analyzing his ways and manners. The way he slammed the gate hard to make sure it was locked, or how he sighed and gave a silly smile when he managed to do something he liked, but what I liked most was the way he struggled every day to cheer people's lives.

- ▪︎ -

"[NAME], do your best every day and no one will have the courage to speak ill of the way you live." He said with his red cheeks and heavy eyes from the soju he drank.

"What are you talking about? I live very well, you're the one who lives next to my house and keeps risking your life." I laughed, fixing up his fringe that was messy "You're already starting to get drunk, let's go home." I got up pulling on his shirt and he made a weeping face.

"[NAME], why are you so mean to me?" He said slyly and I lifted him up with all my strength hugging him around the waist "Hyunjae, come on, you need to rest." He sighed and started walking making a pout on his lips.

"Stop pouting, you know you need to rest. You work a lot and when you take a break you want to drink soju and philosophize about life with me." I commented while walking down the dark street.

"But you are my best friend, you have to listen to me." I laughed at his comment "If you paid me I could even quit my job, after all, listening to you is all I do." "That's why I love you." He chuckled and put his head on my shoulder as I opened the door to his house, after entering the password.

"I love you too, so go to sleep." I tossed him on the bed and he smiled happily hugging his soft pillow.

- ▪︎ -

It was almost always like this. Hyunjae coming to my house to vent about life, I laugh while making some cards to post on my Instagram and the company. Being a calligraphy artist was a happy part of my life, being able to decorate bookstores, houses, gifts was something that gave me the strength to live.

Hyunjae was such an essential part of my life, that I only realized when our mutual friend asked why we lived so close to each other. My first thought was to think that it would be easier to go out, have fun and talk. My second thought was that I was completely in love with him, and I didn't want to admit it.

It was complicated, an old love that I knew had no way out, but nothing was going to change because I couldn't find any nice guys. I lived with Hyunjae and I had already accepted my condition. Romance went from something I dreamed of as a teenager, to something I value as an adult, but not as much as my sanity.

It was easier to live with Hyunjae than having to go on blind dates with bizarre guys that our friend Sunwoo arranged (probably from the deep web). And I keep ignoring my feelings, being inspired by its way of life.

That day was more beautiful than usual. The sun was shining brightly, the sky was clear and blue, the traffic seemed calm and the weather was perfect for an outdoor meeting, perhaps a date in the park. The subway was surprisingly empty, although it was very early, and I was completely rested.

It seemed like the perfect working day. I had made many cards at the company, sent some orders by mail, and placed new orders for a major literature event that would take place at the company. Lunch was great and our boss was in a good mood telling stories from when she was in college.

The day had gone well, my colleagues finished their jobs earlier than expected so we were able to go out early and eat fried chicken in a new restaurant near the company. I returned home happy and completely shocked at how perfect my day had been.

I got home and changed my shoes. I took a relaxing bath while listening to the news of the day through my radio hanging from the bathroom sink.

"URGENT NEWS! THERE IS A FIRE IN A BUSINESS BUILDING LOCATED IN THE GANGNAM REGION, MANY ARE THREATENING TO JUMP THROUGH THE WINDOWS. SOURCES CONFIRM THAT THE FIRE STARTED BY THE BAD WIRING THAT HAS NOT BEEN CORRECTLY REPLACED. THE FIREFIGHTERS HAVE JUST ARRIVED AND ARE PREPARING TO RELEASE THE PLACE AND REMOVE SURVIVORS. ”

I immediately turned off the shower, drying myself quickly, putting on any clothes, and going to the living room to turn on the TV and see the news.

All the channels were talking about the fire. It even seemed ironic, as I had a great day, and now a building near my company was on fire, and I had to see desperate people on the TV screen.

My heart stopped and my eyes lit up when I recognized Hyunjae running away with a long sheet and other men helping him from afar. This was apparently what he was supposed to do, try to stay calm and help people in a tragedy that could cost their lives.

“FIREFIGHTERS MOBILIZED QUICKLY AND SURVIVORS ARE GETTING TO THE GROUND SAFELY. THE FIRE HAS BEEN CONTROLLED AND WE HAVE NO NEWS FROM ANY VICTIMS IN SERIOUS STATE UNTIL THE MOMENT-” The woman turned and the cameraman filmed Hyunjae leaving the scene with a woman unconscious in his arms “THIS YOUNG BRAVE MAN REMOVED THE LAST VICTIM FROM THE LOCATION. AMBULANCE HAS ARRIVED AND WILL TREAT EVERYONE IMMEDIATELY. ”

I closed my fists tightly, my mouth dried and my heart sped up. Hyunjae had entered that burning building, risking his life, to save another one.

The fire subsided until it was extinguished. Reporters were still talking about how the police were already investigating everything and how fortunately no lives were lost and the victims had only minor injuries. I sighed with relief and sent a message to Hyunjae, congratulating him, but mostly asking how he was doing.

Me:

[Are you okay? I just saw it all on TV, I'm so worried!]

[I am proud of you, you were amazing.]

[I hope you're all right, send a message when you see this.]

Received.

I sighed and laid down on my bed covering my eyes trying to remember that he was fine.

"Nothing happened."

"Hyunjae is fine. No need to worry."

I was trying to convince myself that he was fine, alive, and doing his job, but my heart couldn't calm down. I decided to take a light tranquilizer and lie down again.

Maybe he would answer me in the morning, I would wait patiently and everything would be fine.

I turned on some drama on TV while I was busy watching cute animals on Youtube to pass the time. After a few hours and having a quick nap, I was surprised by the ringing of my cell phone and saw that it was Hyunjae.

I got up and answered quickly.

“Hyunjae ?! Are you okay? Where are you?" I hurried over and felt him give a tired laugh on the other end of the phone.

“I'm outside your house, please open it for me. It's a little cold here. ” He made a little joke like he always does, maybe, trying to calm my worried mood.

"Okay, I'll be right back." I hung up the phone and ran out to the door.

I opened the door feeling my heart racing, my joints tingling from suddenly getting up and automatically everything calmed down when I saw his face.

He had his bangs glued to his forehead, his face was dirty with some ash. He still had his work uniform on and was holding some bandages probably bought from the pharmacy near our homes.

"I came for you to heal me." He gave a sarcastic smile as I felt relief wash over my entire body.

"Come on, staying in this serene is bad." I pulled him inside, locking the door and putting his usual shoe in the doorway.

"Unfortunately I bought anything I saw at the pharmacy, so I hope you help me, I'm deadly tired." He started talking quietly trying to hide how he was shaken by that night.

"Hyunjae... are you okay?" I asked seeing him sitting on a chair in the kitchen taking off his uniform, leaving only the standard white blouse and pants.

"Yeah." He said dryly biting his lip and looking away. The habit he made when he lied.

"Stop lying to me." I walked towards him crossing my arms “If you were really well, you would have gone home, answered on your cell phone, and slept in peace."

He sighed and looked at me with a look that made my whole body tremble. He looked scared, anxious, but mostly nervous about something.

"What is it?" I touched his cheek and he sighed, closing his eyes and leaning into my hand.

"I almost lost my mind today." He stood up scratching the back of his neck with a choked voice as if he were about to cry.

"What do you mean?" He looked at me so sincerely that I felt my heart soften.

"We were on the traffic patrol when we heard the call." He laughed, but it was sad. "When they said the address, and I realized it was on the same street as your job, I despaired."

My eyes flew open and he sat on the edge of the couch burying his fingers in his dirty, messy hair.

“I thought you could be there and I lost it. When I got there, all I could think about was you.” I approached and realized that in fact, his eyes were watery "I know I should be concerned with other people, but I could only think ‘What if it is her building? What if she is there? What if she is in danger? What if I can't save her?’ And I went into eternal despair.”

I felt my heart racing so fast it could come out of my mouth.

"I-I didn't care if other people were hurt, as long as you were fine..." He looked at me and I felt a huge urge to hold his face "And it scares me. The way I was afraid of losing you and I couldn't think rationally, on the professional side.”

I sat next to him listening to everything he had to say.

"Hyunjae, anyone would feel the same way, you don't have to feel guilty about it." I wiped away his tears and held his cheeks in the palm of my hands "I would have done the same, thinking about you all the time."

He gave a smile sniffing before holding my hands.

"But it's different this time." He said before looking into my eyes with an invisible force that made me nervous "I thought nothing would make sense if I didn't have you by my side."

I took a deep breath trying to follow his argument.

"I don't want to lose you." He whispered as if it were a forbidden confession "You are the most important person in the whole world to me." He touched my cheek with the palm of his hand "You know that, don't you?" He swallowed hard, leaning his forehead against mine.

I took a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair.

"I know Hyunjae, you are also the most special person for me." I said seeing how he had relaxed a little more "Now get up, you need to take a shower and put bandages on these cuts."

I stood up first, but I felt his hand close to my fist. He was taller than me, not so much, but his body was so strong that it made me feel small around him.

"What? Come on, you're very tired. ” I took the lead before I felt him pulling me again.

"[NAME]." He said hoarsely as I studied his face curiously.

Hyunjae was too different that night.

“What is it Hyunjae? Your face is dirty, you need to take a shower. ” I touched my hips trying to understand what he wanted.

Hyunjae approached pulling my wrist towards him before giving a kiss there.

"Come with me." He said making me petrified on the spot.

"W-WHAT?!" I asked nervously as I felt my heart pound so loudly that I was afraid he might hear "I-That's not funny, Hyunjae."

He released my fist and pulled me by the hip, staring deep into my eyes.

"I'm not kidding." I felt a shiver down my back when he admitted it wasn't a joke or a friend flirt "I got tired of pretending I don't feel anything for you."

I couldn't say anything, I was too shocked to reply.

“[NAME], you are the most important person to me and I don't want to live any longer having to treat you just like a best friend.” He touched my chin and raised my gaze to his “Please, be honest with me. Am I just a best friend to you? ”

I felt his gaze enter my soul and I knew I had no way to lie anymore, this was the only chance I would have to admit what I feel.

"No." I swallowed and stared at his mouth, which formed a small smile of satisfaction.

It was amazing the effect that Hyunjae had on me. Even if I wanted to run away, I wouldn't be able to lie because it was already obvious from the way I act.

"Great." I felt my stomach churn when I felt his left hand hold me tighter as his right landed on my cheek, making his thumb touch my chin, caressing it. "I hope you don't mind this."

"Mind wha—" I could barely finish the question and I felt his lips on mine.

I pulled away unintentionally from the shock and looked into his eyes that seemed to be staring at me with an indescribable fire. I swallowed and felt my heart racing as he just smirked sideways, as if he knew what I was thinking.

He approached me slowly, touching our noses and I closed my eyes feeling his breath warm my face. I felt my face heat up and my palms sweat when his lips brushed against mine again. I held on to his white blouse with the rest of my strength and waited for Hyunjae to close the distance that bothered me so much.

I felt his hand move and his fingers pulled my chin down, opening my mouth that was closed by shock. I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding and felt him laugh through his nose before wetting my bottom lip with his tongue lightly, kissing me gently.

I lifted my hands to his hair where I pulled slightly, feeling my back against the bathroom door. Hyunjae took a quick breath, trying desperately to open the bathroom door, trying not to break the kiss.

I opened my eyes after Hyunjae got rid of me, feeling my heart stop at the sight of him focused on trying to open the bathroom door. His face was flushed, but his ears seemed to burn at how red they were. His dark eyebrows were furrowed and his mouth was pink and inviting.

"Aish." Hyunjae said finally opening the bathroom making me smile slightly.

I held on to his blouse when I almost tripped over my own rug and Hyunjae grabbed my waist with his arm. He gave me a shy smile before leaning his body against mine, making me even more nervous.

His fingers played with the old buttons on my wool blouse. I held his neck intoxicating myself by his smell invading my senses. I felt a shiver down my spine when his fingers touched my skin gently, as if it were the most expensive porcelain that should be handled with care.

Hyunjae started the shower making me more and more nervous. He pushed me with some force making my back touch the tile on the cold wall of the bathroom. I felt his wet abdomen touching mine and tried to take his shirt off awkwardly making him laugh with amusement.

I looked into his eyes feeling my cheeks flush hard as I held his necklace in my hand. I smirked when I realized it was the gift I had given them for his last birthday. It was a sun necklace that was completed with another necklace, which was mine and was shaped like a moon.

I used to say that he was the sun that lit up my life and that reflected in me. I didn't expect him to wear it every day, because he is so critical of his clothes and his style, so I was surprised when I saw the jewel on his soft, wide collarbone.

"I-I like that necklace." He justified himself by making me smile as I felt my hair gradually get wet from the shower water.

I caressed his cheeks, removing all the dust and ashes from his face. He closed his eyes as I carefully wiped his face by raising my hands to his hair. My stomach churned when I kissed the corner of his jaw and he let out a long breath squeezing my waist.

"I like you." I confessed by kissing his neck, stroking his hair "Really."

"N-Noona." He said slyly in my ear making me smile. He only called me Noona when he was embarrassed "Don't do this to me."

"What?" I asked, acting like I didn't get his thoughts while looking at his beautiful body in front of me. I moved my hands down his chest feeling my whole body softening and looked him in the eyes hoping he understood the message I wanted to convey.

"You know." He responded by pinning me to the wall as he fiddled with the buttons on his pants, leaning his forehead against mine, chuckling through his nose.

I hugged him feeling slightly embarrassed when I felt him take off my bra and toss it on any floor in the bathroom. I closed my eyes tightly as I felt his lips kiss my neck slowly and lovingly.

"[NAME] ..." He sighed and kissed my collarbone "I-I know you like romantic guys, but the last thing I want to do now is to be patient and romantic with you."

I felt my whole body tremble and my thoughts were confused.

"I-Is this okay with you?" He asked suspiciously and I nodded, unable to speak, "Are you sure?"

I just answered him by kissing him again. He returned it immediately, deepening the kiss, holding me in his strong arms.

So, I closed my eyes and just let all those feelings accumulated from so long being satisfied without thinking about anything else.

- ▪︎ -

The truth was that love could come from anywhere, from a friendship for years, from a complete stranger, from a colleague at work or college. There are no limits to define where love should be born.

For Hyunjae and you, it was born out of years of extreme care. An affection that could not be limited by friendship, and by the undeniable attraction you felt for each other. There are people who spend years like this without the courage to declare themselves.

At that moment, a questioning is born within you. What if you hadn't declared yourself that night? What if you had run away? Hyunjae would probably walk away and leave your house feeling his heart broken. You weren't going to have the happy ending you wanted, and you could probably lose a precious friendship.

Ultimately, the butterfly effect has been proven and you should admit that your best 'mistake' was to have overcome your fear and admitted your senses. His best 'mistake' was sleeping with his best friend.

The question that remains is: Was that your destiny, or just the butterfly effect?

Ultimately, none of that mattered, because you both loved each other deeply.

▪︎

▪︎

MASTERLIST

[sixeyesgojo]

Pictures of You

Summary: prequel to I’ll Be Your Enemy - fluffy!

Characters: IBYE!Reader, Gojo, Yuji, Megumi, Nobara

Word count: 2,3k

Content warning: none

A/N: requested by @thecaptainsbride

If anybody got the reference Gojo made when he was late; congratulations, you have been successfully hurt (but this time it was not me).

Since I left the relationship between Gojo and the reader up for interpretation in IBYE, I will do the same here! Consider this piece me trying to mend your hearts <3

Taglist applications open for anyone who is interested!

“A trip to an amusement park or something like that doesn’t sound so bad,” you mused in front of Satoru. “It serves as relaxation and maybe the first-years can get closer to each other, you know, bonding and so on. They will see each other many times from now on, so getting along with each other is important,” you reasoned, your eyes almost sparkling from the thought of a day off.

“But Jujutsu Sorcery is an individual–” he began.

“Satoru, I think you should see this as vacation. A vacation where you can eat sweets until your teeth rot and absolutely nobody will hold you back,” you interrupted him.

“Okay, I am sold. Am listening now.” You just knew how to convince him. Sweets.

So that was exactly how the first-year students and you ended up at a fairground somewhere in Tokyo; it was quite neat, not too small but not too spacious either. None of you could get lost in it. Still, it was buzzing with life and all kinds of people mingled. The colorfulness was a refreshing sight to take in, compared to the dark world of Jujutsu Sorcery where seeing people suffer was your daily routine. The pleasant smell of food wafted through the air, making your mouth water, as you walked past the different booths with them. Waffles sounded like absolute heaven on earth right now.

Jujutsu Sorcery certainly was a draining sport, mentally as well as physically. Therefore it was only right to take a break at times, right? Self-care days were just as important as working.

In order to wind down a bit, you had suggested a one-day trip – just you, Satoru and the three first-year students you had adopted in your mind right away after meeting them several times.

“Sensei, you look very pretty today!” Yuji complimented you. Even Megumi noticed: “Did you have a haircut? Your hair seems a little bit shorter.”

“Yeah, Nobara had a field day with me. Cutting my hair.. or more like trimming the ends, choosing my outfit, doing my make-up and so on just for today,” you gushed as if you were a high school girl again. “Leave it to master stylist Kugisaki Nobara and nobody will ever look bad,” the brunette girl commended herself. Yuji was affectionately patting her on the back.

Undoubtedly, Satoru was late – nobody was surprised about that. You already went ahead and generously treated the trio of students you loved dearly to some food.

“Thank you for the food, sensei!” As usual, Yuji and Nobara were in perfect harmony with each other, seemingly sharing a brain.

“Thank you very much,” Megumi also expressed his thanks sweetly. If you hadn’t known better, you would have thought the way his lips seemed to twitch was unintentional. “Absolutely no problem, kiddos. You guys enjoy it while I try to contact Gojo-sensei, yeah?” you shot them an apologetic smile, already fishing out your phone. The three of them nodded in perfect synchronization. They’re as cute as little ducklings, you thought.

You didn’t even need to bother calling.

You were about to dial Satoru’s number on your smartphone when Yuji’s voice boomed, “Oh! There he is! Gojo-sensei, we are here!!”

The boy waved at his teacher.

Satoru immediately spotted the pink-haired student and skipped over to where you all were standing. “Sorry for the wait! I’m afraid I got lost on the path of life!!”

“Nice of you to finally join us, but sadly, the fun is already over and we decided to go home. Just wanted to call you to let you know! We’ve been here since morning,” you deadpanned as the white-haired man arrived, looking Satoru dead in the eye – if they weren’t covered. “Wait, wha– Hold on, I am very sure I am not that late. MY MOCHI?” Satoru sounded frantic, facing his students who just shrugged their shoulders. “Serves you right,” Megumi stated calmly. Nobara, being the sassy girl she was, also joined in, “Losers don’t get to have fun and that’s a fact.”

It was such a wholesome and funny moment for you to see the students playing along with your prank without being told beforehand.

You broke out in laughter, not being able to contain it any longer, “You should have seen your face, dumbass! I was just joking!”

“Phew, I almost thought I had to kiss the idea of eating sweets today goodbye. What a horror that would be, my day would be OVER this instant,” the blindfolded man pouted, “so where should I buy my sweets? I’m gonna buy the entire place anyway, but where do I start? Any suggestions for Great Teacher Gojo?”

“Hold up, Satoru! We gotta take a picture together to commemorate this special day!” you suggested, bouncing up and down with enthusiasm. “I swear I just saw sensei’s eyes sparkle but I might be wrong,” Yuji remarked, looking at his dark-haired friend for confirmation.

“Sensei, if you want to take a picture, we have to take it at the right angle!” Nobara chimed in, the secret Instagram influencer in her on full display. She continued to explain, “It would come out great if Gojo-sensei took the pic, long arms privilege and so on.”

The female student almost seemed more into it than you were, it was adorable to you to see the usually bold student be this into taking pictures.

You hand the tall man your phone, but not without shooting him a “if you drop my phone, I’ll make you drop dead” look.

“Okay, ladies, now let’s get in formation,” the male teacher commanded loudly. Upon hearing that, Megumi immediately slapped his hand in his face and turned away in embarrassment. Why was this man like this?

“...Ladies?” Yuji asked, the expression on his face screaming ‘confusion’ “Gojo-sensei just referenced a Beyoncé song, Itadori,” the dark-haired boy explained in a hushed tone, turning back slightly as if he did not want to get caught.

“And it’s not just any song!” Satoru happily chimed in. “Yes, yes, the good old Formation,” you added, nodding in satisfaction. You remember how you showed him the album when it dropped.

“Can we all just ignore Gojo-sensei and take our pic?” Nobara inquired as she shoved everybody into their respective spots. “Alright, everybody, smiiiiile for the camera. Say cheese!”

Click, click, click, click.

Finally, Satoru had gotten his share of sweets. Complying with his sweet tooth was always an effective way to calm him for some time. Almost like feeding a baby, in a way.

Now it was time for fun rides!

...or at least that was what you thought… until Satoru dragged you along to ride a freaking pendulum ride with him. The three students had managed to talk themselves out of stepping foot on that monster of a ride but Satoru didn’t even give you a chance to refuse, he simply gripped your arm and walked towards it.

Stopping only when you were already standing in line, you nervously eyed the metallic behemoth with its iron arm. The monstrosity was seemingly ready to make you throw up from the way it would spin you through the air repeatedly, going back and forth and back and forth again. Why did you have to do this?

“Satoru,” you called his name timidly and tugged at his sleeve, the strange feeling not leaving your gut, “do I really, really have to do this?”

“Absolutely! I promise it will be very fun,” Satoru replied with a signature grin you wanted to wipe off of his face at that moment.

No, it was not fun. At all. You were dizzy and your fear of height was kicking. The blasts of air hitting your face left, right and center were not helping at all and you were sure, if anybody took a picture of you right now, you would look horribly green.

“I– can’t do this anymore!” you shouted mid-air, right before the ride swung to the other side. The force knocked the air out of you once again.

“SATORU, PLEASE GET US OUT OF HERE!” you begged and squeezed his arm with an iron grip. The height was too overwhelming. “Mid-ride?” Satoru asked and you nodded frantically. “Now that’s what I call reckless! Sounds like fun. I’m in!” he declared with a grin.

“Domain Expansion: Infinite Void.”

That was the last thing you heard the tall man say before he touched your head with his large palm.

Your eyes widened in horror as you realized this man used his domain this recklessly, for fun. Maybe it was a side effect of being able to use it multiple times a day.

The infinity gently wrapped itself around Satoru and you. Almost movie-like, you watched as the entire, vast universe beautifully unfolded in front of your eyes. Each star being created separately, then abruptly flashing by as a sea of stars – as if you were in a wormhole. You perceived the entire domain within a flash of a moment, yet tasted eternity in it. Everything but nothing at once.

Despite being touched by Satoru himself, the sensations weren’t without merit. If this was how it felt to be in the safe space of Satoru’s touch within his inner world of Limitless, you would rather not fathom how it felt to be the one hit by this powerful domain.

It took you some time to process things and recollect.

“When I said I wanted you to get the two of us out of that thing, I didn’t mean ‘send me to your domain’,” you scolded him.

“Well, it was convenient,” he defended himself and you could almost hear the grin on his face, “Bet you’ll hate me after this though.”

“Hating you was never really an option I’d ever consider but okay, we’ll run with it this time. Now undo your domain, please, while I am asking nicely.”

“Your wish is my command! This time at least.”

“Satoru.” A stern last warning fell from your lips.

“Yes, yes, boss. On it.”

“I thought you said it’ll be fun but I am absolutely not riding that thing ever again,” you took deep breaths to calm down as your feet securely touched the ground again. Your legs were still trembling a bit.

“And it was fun! At least for me! I like seeing you struggle – it’s so funny – and the way you clung to my arm? Adorable! You are so tiny compared to me, like a bug I could crush between my fingers!” The annoying sorcerer laughed merrily.

“Gojo fucking Satoru, the only thing that is about to be crushed here are your balls. With my leg. You are very lucky to have that damn Infinity of yours or else,” you threatened.

“Ouch, you really do know how to hurt an invincible man,” he snickered and flicked your forehead lightly.

Rejoining with the students was easy as they all saw the barrier Satoru’s domain created.

“You are lucky there was some kind of show going on down here. That barrier above would have freaked people out if they weren’t distracted,” Nobara said, looks shooting daggers at her weird teacher. Innocent and as nice as ever, Yuji pitched in as well: “Yeah, Fushiguro also tried to distract children with their wandering eyes! I think he did a good job.”

“Okay but what did he do though?” you asked curiously and looked at the boy in question.

“...Shadow puppets,” Megumi slowly admitted, looking anywhere but at the people in front of him.

“Oh? You love your foster-dad-turned-great-teacher this much to embarrass yourself out in public? That’s new!” Satoru teased the poor boy. “Someone has to be the voice of reason around here or you’d all be in jail. That includes preventing civilians who are able to see curses from seeing you use Jujutsu while floating mid-air,” he justified, ignoring the tall teacher’s mockery completely. 

“As much as I love slandering Gojo-sensei, I’d rather spend my day actually having fun,” Nobara pitched in, reminding everybody of why you were here in the first place.

“So, let’s go ride the ferris wheel!” she added excitedly.

More fun rides.

Before you knew it, the day passed by. You could already feel the heaviness in your legs from walking. The swirling feeling from all the rides boded in your chest – you probably would not be able to sleep well tonight. It was definitely worth it though, you thought.

You had already brought the students back to their dorm – Satoru had ran off to the school because he remembered he had to do something – and were on the way home yourself.

You were in some sort of trance, completely immersed in your phone, so you hadn’t registered when Satoru called your name until he gently tapped your shoulder, falling into step with you.

“Yeah?” you looked up to Satoru, snapping out of your train of thought.

“Just wanted to tell you; ‘Operation: Relaxation Day’ was a great success.”

“I’m glad to hear that, Satoru.” A genuine smile graced your lips and for a moment, he softened at the sight.

“You know what? It was amazing, I really should start listening to you more often,” he confessed with a smirk.

“Well, it’s thanks to your amazing power of persuasion that we got to spend it like this, so thanks for today,” you half-heartedly complimented him.

“You do know I only said we’d not be available today and then dashed, right?” he asked you, the usual playful tone lacing his voice. “Exactly what I meant by saying ‘your amazing power of persuasion’.”

“I think I’ll frame the picture we took,” you murmured softly, fondly looking at the screen of your phone. The picture from earlier was displayed on your homescreen.

Surely, you would hang it on the blank wall in your home as well. It was a personal treasure now.

Taglist (dm me if you wanna be added): @assbuttbaek​ @megumifushi​ @bleueluna​ @gojos-mochi​ @delammi

[felix21im]

"Ice Cold", a Leon Kennedy x reader fanfiction

As an Art and Design student all you want to do is just knuckle down and finish that one goddamn piece you've been working on for months. Too bad your time is constantly stolen by your Waiter job with minimal pay, but hey, at least the tips are good if you unbutton your shirt that one more time.

Masterlist

Chapter 4: The Party

This chapter is intended for mature audiences (18+).

While the main core of this chapter is gender neutral and SFW, the ending is written for a general female reader. The male reader part will be in the next post separately. If you would like to read neither you will be notified when to click away and when to start reading again.

A few weeks passed after you finished your “passion project”, as Alex and Jordan lovingly called it. You went to visit Leon a few times after that again but he was often out for work, which made it hard to stay in personal contact. You never found out what he did for work and where he went but as soon as he was away from home you felt him changing a little. Even though you mainly texted each other, he sometimes even called you. When this was the case he often was drunk and you wondered if he really went out for work or just to party. As soon as he was back you never had the chance to ask him if he's keeping anything from you. Whenever you tried to talk about the calls or messages he left for you he changed the subject. So you just learnt to live with it because you didn't want to make him mad or be annoyed by you.

Since it was your birthday in only a few days you wondered if Leon forgot his idea of partying at his place. Maybe he wouldn't even be home by then, you thought to yourself.

You were just eating dinner with your roommate Jordan as your phone lit up again. “Let me guess, Leon again?” You checked your phone just to confirm their premonition. You let out a small sigh. “What is it this time? I don’t know about you, but I think he's acting kinda odd lately and I never even met him!”

“Yea, I don't really know either. Maybe he's just overworking or something, I don’t know. I mean, he always liked to drink so maybe too much work doesn't really help with that.” You lay your phone to the side, eating the rest of the food you prepared earlier. It was nothing compared to Angel’s food but it was all you could afford to buy this week. It made you think about that money Leon offered you back then. Maybe declining it wasn't your best idea.

After Jordan and you finished eating and cleaning you went back into your small room and Jordan left the house to meet with a friend. You unlocked your phone again to see what Leon was up to this time. You noticed he had sent multiple messages already, asking if you were ignoring him or whatever. You quickly answered and reassured him that you weren't ignoring or pissed at him. He then asked about your day and what you were up to the next few days. You let out a small laugh. “Hmm, I don´t know.. Maybe celebrate my birthday or something like that.” You were unsure if he was just messing with you or actually forgot about it. You tried to respond calmly but it didn't really work as you hoped it would. Instead you sounded wayyy too ironic and pissed and you were angry at yourself.

You wanted to throw your phone away but Leon answered once again before you had the chance to do so. “I’m just messing with you, Buttercup ;) how could I ever forget your birthday? - Leon”, the message said. You couldn't stay mad for too long, especially not after Leon sent a picture of him after it. You hadn't seen him in so long so you weren't really prepared for what's gonna come. And even if you had seen him before, nothing could have prepared you for this. He sent a picture of himself, probably after working out. He was looking at the camera, his face in bright red and sweat covering his whole upper body. And he wasn't even trying to hide his muscular body. You were unable to move, you didn't even know what to do or say right now. You were happy that Jordan was out of the house right now, that meant you could have some alone time to yourself and that picture…

Another few days flew by and before you knew it, it was your birthday. You were woken up by Jordan, who came into your bedroom singing “Happy Birthday” as loud as they possibly could. You looked at them tired but soon had a smile resting on your face. After Jordan finished singing they came over to give you a nice hug. “Happy 21st birthday! I got us a small cake, we can eat it now if you want. And.. I also got some presents for you!” They pushed you out of the bed and into the small living room.

On the small table was a cake and a few small presents, but the biggest was seated on the old couch. “Leon!”

You had a big smile on your face and practically ran into his arms. “Happy Birthday, Buttercup. I hope my little surprise worked.” You nodded as hard as you could and sat down besides Leon. You opened the presents from Jordan and thanked them for it. Then Leon reached down into a bag that was laying next to his feet. “I also got you something. You’re probably gonna need this today.” You looked at him confused, took the wrapped present and opened it. You felt some kind of fabric on your fingers and pulled it out.

You spread it out before you and realized that Leon had bought you your own suit. You actually remembered a similar one in Leon’s closet back then. “Wow, Leon! This is so pretty, I don't even know what to say!” You went back to hug him again.

“Don't worry about it. Angel actually got you something for it as well. Here.” He gave you another small bag. In it was a purple bow-tie, the exact purple you painted the living room with. In the bag was also a fake clematis, which you could put into your suit jacket pocket.

“This is so nice! Thank you guys so much! I can't wait to wear it.” Jordan and Leon had to laugh because of your excitement.

“Let's eat some cake first, birthday kid, before you mess that new fancy suit of yours up!” Now it was your turn to laugh. You nodded in agreement before sitting back down. Jordan cut the cake in three pieces and each one of you enjoyed their piece of it.

After eating and drinking some tea you gave Jordan your dirty plates so they could clean them up. While they were doing that you grabbed your new suit and went to go into your room. “I'll be back in a few. Please make yourself comfortable and if you need anything, just ask.” You told Leon before leaving the living room and going into yours. You got rid of the pyjamas you were still wearing and put on some fresh underwear.  You then lay the suit on your bed and looked at it in detail. It contained black pants, a white collared shirt with shiny buttons, an almost blackish purple vest and jacket with the fitting bow tie and flower from Angel. You began putting on the pants, followed by the shirt and vest. You then put on the bow tie and went to leave the room with the jacket and flower laying over your arm. Before stepping outside though, you realized you didn't have any fancy shoes that fit your outfit. You decided to just put on some white sneakers, hoping it would look at least kind of okay.

As you left the room you almost walked into Leon, who was standing in front of your door. “Oh, I’m sorry. I just wanted to see if everything was alright..” He looked at you from head to toe. “Wow.. You look wonderful, Buttercup.”

You felt your cheeks heat up once again as you tried to find the right words to thank him. “Thank you so so much, Leon. I don’t think I've ever worn something so fancy and expensive, I really like it.” You looked up to him, a big smile covering your face.

Leon then reached out his hands, fixing your bow tie a little. “I just gotta make sure you look perfect. Now, put on your jacket so I can add that flower and I think then we should be ready to go.” You nodded and he helped you get into the jacket. After that he added the clematis into your chest pocket. He then took a step back looking at you. “This is perfect. Well then, should we go?” He held out his hand for you to take before going to the front door. You grabbed your phone and keys and then left together with him. Jordan was already waiting outside, also wearing a shirt covered by a black vest and some jeans. The three of you then left the building and went to Leon's car.

As you arrived at Leon’s home you already saw multiple people putting up signs or preparing stuff. You looked at Leon shocked, since you didn't think it would be this big of a party. Even Jordan couldn’t stop themself from letting out a surprised “Wow.” You nodded in agreement, unable to find any words. The moment Leon stopped on the driveway you could see Angel coming closer and then opening the car door for you. You thanked her and got out of the car, also thanking her for the presents she got for you. For a short second it seemed that she had a tiny smile on her lips but it happened so fast, you weren't sure if you just imagined it.

You felt a light tap on your shoulder taking you back to the now. “Come with me. I actually got another present for you. But it wouldn't fit in your home.” Leon took your hand and led you through the crowd of people. He then let go of you, standing behind you and covering your eyes. “Do you trust me?” He asked to which you answered with a slight nod. You felt him start walking so you also started going forward. After a short while of walking and taking turns he finally stopped you. He slowly lifted his hands from your eyes and added some dramatic sound effects with his mouth.

As soon as your eyes got used to the light you looked around. You were still outside near the house, but somewhere you never went before. In front of you stood a black car, already showing signs that it wasn't completely new. You turned back to Leon, looking at him confused. “What..What am I supposed to do with this now?” You asked him kind of dumbfounded as if you missed something.

Leon let out a small chuckle while walking to the car and unlocking it. “This, my dear, is your own new car. I mean, not really new, I used it before and it's actually kind of old, but I don't have any use for it anymore.”

You looked at him, still unsure on how to react. “You do know that I don't have a driver's license, right?” You slowly walked toward the car and checked it out.

“Of course I do. But I took care of that as well. A friend from work will be your teacher for a few weeks. You’re going to be getting driving lessons every day and before you know it you can drive all by yourself. I promise you, everything is gonna work out just fine.”

You still looked at him, raising an eyebrow. “I- Leon, this is really nice of you but-”

He stopped you before you had the chance to finish that sentence. “-Nope, no buts. I'm giving this to you now and I don't want you to return it to me like that money a few months back. You hear me?” Before being able to argue he threw the car keys over to you, leaving no room for discussion.

You sighed and had to chuckle. “Alright then. Thank you, Leon. I mean it. I don't know how I deserve all this. There's no way I'll ever be able to repay you.”

“That's the reason all these things are gifts, Buttercup. I don't want anything in return. I just like to help you out a little.” He winked at you before taking your hand and leading you back to the main party.

From a few meters away you could see Angel talking to another woman and a man. You recognized the man as the one who was with Leon at that bar a few months back. He was also wearing a fancy suit. The woman next to him was wearing a yellow dress, making her an eye catcher when combined with her pink hair. Leon and you walked right up to them, unfortunately interrupting their conversation. Leon cleared his throat, making your presence known to them. The three of them turned to look at you, realizing who you were. “Happy birthday!” The small woman with the pink hair pulled you into a hug, resting her head on your chest as she rocked you back and forward. “Angel has told me a lot about you!” She said as she pulled away. “Leon’s friend!”

Leon introduced them to you. “This is my colleague Chris and his assistant Daisy.” He pointed toward the two people and gave you a smile.

You let out a small “Hello” before you started talking some more. “It’s nice to meet the both of you.”

“It’s nice to meet you properly.” Chris held out his hand for you to shake and you gladly accepted it. “It’s weird to think that just a simple dinner between Leon and I allowed for the two of you to meet.” He chuckled. Chris then began to talk about how long he and Leon had known each other and that they often go out for “jobs” together. You tried finding out what kind of jobs they were, but never got a serious answer. At one point it was just you Daisy, Angel and Leon. They began to tell you about their relationship and how long the two of them had been together. You had never seen Angel so happy.

After you guys warmed up, Leon left you to stay with them to change as well. The three of you went to the backside of the house to see the preparations that Leon and Angel made. Eventually you ended up sitting down at one of the patio tables with Chris and the two of you drank a glass of champagne together.

You and Chris chatted for a while as you began to see the courtyard fill up with people. You barely recognised anyone and wondered who invited them all. There were college kids and older adults.

After a small while Leon came back to you and Chris, now also wearing a suit that looked identical to yours. You looked at him and couldn’t hide a smile. “Looking good, Mr. Kennedy.” You said to him jokingly.

“I can only return that compliment.” He winked at you. As the last guests arrived, Angel allowed for people to get the fresh food that was just finished up for them. You also got a plate and went to get something nice to eat. You and Leon went up together and he helped you pick out some food, although it was plain you just went for some meat and cheese. After getting your dinner, you and Leon sat down next to Chris on a small table. Soon after, Alex and Jordan also joined filling all your glasses with some champagne they found on their way through the house. You didn't even want to ask where they were sneaking around and just thanked them. Like always, Leon added some ice into his drink before clinking your glasses together. You all then ate and drank together, enjoying each other's company and having a lot of fun. This time you didn't really worry too much about how much you or even Leon had drunk. You were just glad to have a big birthday party with all your new friends.

Once it hit around midnight most of the guests began to leave, leaving only a handful of you left. The evening was really great, you met some new people and also drank a lot. Now you and Alex sat at the edge of the pool with a bottle of beer in each of your hands. You must have been there for a while because at some point Leon came over to tell you to get away from the pool. “C’mon, you’re going to get cold over here.” He held out his hand for you to take but rather than accepting it like always you simply looked at it.

“No.” You replied to him as you looked out towards the pool and you took your shoes and socks off, placing them behind you on the floor. “I’m having a grand ole time over here!” You dipped your feet into the water.

“I don’t want you to fall in.” He crouched down beside you and looked at both you and Alex. “The pair of you are pretty drunk and I’d rather you stay with the adults.”

“I am an adult, Leon.” You turned to scoff at him, pointing your finger in his face. “I’m pretty sure I know how to look after myself. I can make my own decisions, I don’t need your help!”

“Fine.” He stood back up. “Just be careful okay? I’m surprised that no one fell in the pool and I don’t want you to be the person who does it.” He turned around to head back to where he was originally sitting with Chris, beside the giant heat lamp that sat on the patio.

“Oooo, I don't want you to be the person who falls in the pool…” You rolled your eyes at Alex as you mimicked what Leon said. “I won’t fall in.” You chuckled to yourself as you began to take your jacket off. “I’ll willingly go in!” You tossed your jacket over to your shoes and you pushed yourself off the ledge and straight into the freezing cold water. Alex looked at you surprised, then jumped in after you. You could see Chris trying to hide his laugh while Leon looked at you shocked. This wasn't what he expected to happen. He didn't exactly have a plan for his next step, so he just decided to let it happen. So now you and Alex were acting like little kids playing in this big pool. After a while however you were getting bored, deciding to get out of the cold water and drinking another glass of whiskey that stood on one of the tables, just waiting for you guys. You sat down on the garden chair, your new suit completely wet, leaving you freezing cold. Leon already went inside to get you two some towels to get at least kind of dry.

You tried to hide your shivering but after a few minutes Leon noticed it anyway. "You know, I told you it wasn't the best idea to get into that pool, right?" He gave you a smirk, showing that he knew exactly that he was right. You just shook your head, letting some water fly through the air and wetting Chris who was sitting next to you. Leon let out a sigh, standing up from his chair. "Follow me. I'll get you some dry clothes." You let out a groan, feeling like a child the way Leon treated you the last few minutes. Nevertheless you stood up from the place you were sitting, slowly following Leon. You suddenly felt the alcohol you drank in your body making you walk unsteadily. Leon seemed to notice and even though he wasn't exactly sober either he helped you walk. Together you went inside the house and into his bedroom. You tried not to touch anything fearing you would make it dirty, but as soon as you went into his bedroom you couldn't keep your balance anymore. You lay down on his bed, muttering a quiet 'sorry'. Leon didn't seem to care and just went into his closet and grabbed out a single black t-shirt. It was heavily oversized but you still accepted it. It was a combination of you being soaking wet and all of the drinks you’ve had throughout the night but you instantly began to unbutton your shirt and you tossed it to the side of the room, the wet fabric beginning to create a puddle on the carpet. You slid the shirt over your head and then took off your trousers, throwing them onto the pile. “You could have just given that to me. I could have put it down the laundry chute…” He raised his eyebrows as he picked up the wet clothes and threw them into the laundry bin. “C’mon.” He placed his hand on your lower back as he walked you out of the room and back downstairs.

“You’re mad aren’t you?” You looked up at him, the embarrassment from you jumping into the pool only just kicking in.

“Why would I be mad, Buttercup?”

“You told me to come and sit with you and Chris, but noooo I wanted to be stupid and be annoying.” You rolled your eyes at yourself, disappointed that you might have ruined the night.

He let out a small chuckle. "The most important thing is that you have fun, you hear me?" He stopped walking and looked you deep in the eyes. "That's all that matters to me." You instantly got red, unable to move or answer anything to what he just said. “I’m happy if you’re happy.” He placed his hand on the side of your face and stroked your cheek.

As you came back to where Chris and Alex were waiting, you noticed Angel and Daisy had joined them as well. They were talking a bit, well mostly Chris and Daisy anyway. Alex seemed too tired and drunk to even add anything to their conversation. When you were sitting down again Chris just got up to leave. "It was really nice getting to know you. But Daisy and I will go back to our hotel now, we have something to do tomorrow. Maybe we can have an evening like this someday again." You gave Chris and Daisy a goodbye-hug and they went to leave. Angel accompanied them to their Taxi they must have called when you were changing your clothes upstairs. After that she went inside, already cleaning up some parts of the house. Alex decided to also go inside, not helping Angel but rather to get some sleep. That was probably the only good idea they had in that state. You sat down on the garden bench taking another sip of your drink. Leon placed himself next to you, also drinking another glass of whiskey.

FEMALE VERSION (starting now)

MALE VERSION

It was just the two of you now. “Thanks for the party, Leon.” You looked up and smiled at him and he looked down and did the same. You weren't sure if it was the alcohol or maybe the hypothermia sitting in but you felt so hot looking at his face so closely. “I’ll be sure to remember it.”

“Are you sure you’re not too drunk to remember?” The smell of whiskey from his breath filled your nostrils and sent a warm feeling down your spine. Even though your soaking wet hair was keeping you cold, you felt so warm next to Leon. You simply let out a small chuckle at his little joke.

Leon held his arm around your waist, pulling you more onto his lap and allowing for you to lean on his chest. Your hair drenched his shirt, his fancy branded dress shirt. Once you realised what you had done you pulled away from him and apologised. “Oh god. I’m sorry, Leon.” You pulled the towel off of your shoulders and began to dab it on his chest, only making it worse. All you were doing was spreading it and making his shirt even more see-through, you would have been lying if you said you didn’t like what you saw.

“It’s fine.” He chuckled at you. “I’ve been wanting to take this shirt off all evening, it’s starting to irritate me.” He slightly leant forward so that he was no longer leaning on the back of the chair but also making sure that you stayed on his lap. With one hand he undid the buttons on his shirt while the other was placed on your hip, making sure that you didn’t fall. You watched him closely as he undid his buttons, even helping him with the very few that he struggled with. The only time he let you go was to allow for him to slide the sleeve off of his arm, but he instantly put his hand back, with slightly more grip than before, making your ass go slightly numb. Yet again, you’d be lying if you said you didn’t like it.

“Can I ask for one last birthday present?” You were shocked with yourself when you said that. The words came tumbling out of your mouth without any thought.

Leon placed his drink on the armrest of the chair and then placed his hand on your thigh. “And what is that, Buttercup?” He asked.

“I-” You swallowed hard, not being able to stop what you were about to say, it was like you were possessed. “I want you to fuck me.”

“Huh?” He answered. You knew he heard you, he just wanted to be a complete asshole. “I’m getting old, my hearing isn’t quite what it used to be.

“I said. I want you to fuck me, Leon.” You repeated yourself.

“Oh really?” He raised his eyebrows at you as he smirked. “Where’s your manners, Buttercup? I mean you’re going to have to ask a bit more politely than that.”

You were a bit taken back by Leon’s response, you were half expecting to be thrown onto his driveway and being told to never come back. But you were excited that you got a different reaction. “Please Leon. I want- I need you to fuck me.” You stuttered as you talked due to him sliding his hand up your thigh, playing with the fabric of your short mini dress. “I’ve been wanting you ever since you sent me that photo of you while you were away.”

“Did you touch yourself to that photo?” He asked you, correctly thinking that you had. You simply nodded at him, unable to get any words out as his hand was completely under your oversized shirt, fiddling with your skimpy underwear. “And you didn’t even think to ask for any more photos?”

“I didn’t want to overstep.” You admitted, shyly looking down.

He whistled at you as he didnt want to move either of his hands. “You could never overstep, Buttercup.” He hooked his finger around the side of your underwear and pulled it down your legs. “If you want anything from me, you can always ask.” He gave you a wink as he twirled your underwear around his finger, followed by him then throwing it onto the table in front of you. “What can I say?” He let go of your hips and placed his hand on the back of your head, slowly pushing you towards his face. As he was doing so his other hand felt like magic to you, his large fingers slowly caressed you and massaged your inner thigh. “I'm a giver.” He winked as he kissed you heavily. The both of you letting out the stress that neither of you knew you had, both of your shoulders untensing and collapsing. Your entire body had melted around him, you were like a puppet being played by his strings.

“Go on.” You heavily whispered to him.

He chuckled as he continued to kiss you, his stubble tickling your face. As you were preoccupied with his face, his fingers slowly but surely inserted their way into you, gracefully pumping in and out of you. “Are you alright?” He asked after he noticed your face was a little uncomfortable.

“Yes, yes.” Your breathing was heavy and you did feel uncomfortable, not because of Leon, but because you were anxious. “I- I’m just nervous.”

“What’s there to be nervous about?” He asked as he pulled a strand of hair out of your face.

“I’ve never done this before.” You admitted to him, but he didn’t seem phased, if anything he was excited.

“And?” He stroked the side of your face. “That doesn’t mean anything.”

You felt relieved at his response, and you began to relax, letting Leon do his thing. As he slowly moved his fingers in and out of your body his thumb slowly ran circles on your clit, sure you had done this by yourself when your roommate wasn’t home but Leon was making you feel things you had never felt before. It felt different with another person doing this to you, you were used to knowing exactly what was about to happen as you were the one in control, but now? Leon has you by the strings.

Leon kept the slow pace, not speeding up and not slowing down. He wanted for you to orgasm but he didn’t want you to do it too fast. As your breathing became heavier, so did Leon’s, you could feel his cock aching under your leg. If his pants weren't such high quality you wouldn't be surprised if he would have ripped them right then and there. You leant on Leon’s shoulder as your stomach began to tie into knots, your head was buried into his neck and you quivered on him as you began to orgasm, cum absolutely drenching both his finger and his leg. Although you were a little embarrassed at the mess you had made, Leon assured you that it wasn’t a worry. He slowly pulled his fingers out of you to make sure that he wouldn't hurt you at all. “Are you okay, Buttercup?” Just that nickname alone made you want to orgasm all over again. You simply nodded, and once you opened your eyes you saw him pull his fingers out of his own mouth, then putting them back under your shirt and drenched his fingers yet again but this time he put them in your mouth. You tasted your own cum and you weren't sure what it tasted like, you just wanted to lick his fingers not your own cum.

He eventually pulled his fingers out of your mouth and smirked at you. “Do I get to give you a handjob now? Is that how it works?” You asked him, earning a small smile and a laugh.

“No.” He simply replied as he scooped his arm under your legs and the other one on your back. “It’s your party, and I'll make you cry if I want to.” He placed you down onto the seat where he was just sitting and he knelt down on the floor.

“Wha-?” He interrupted you by leaning forward and kissing you, as he did so he spread both of your legs open using your knees. “Oh!” You chuckled as he went back down to his knees, giving you a smirk as he went down. Leon kissed his way up your thighs, sucking and biting every inch of you while he made his way towards your clit. You couldn’t help but fidget as he tickled you from his light stubble, causing him to laugh and him tickling you even more. Eventually you calmed yourself down as the only thing you could focus on was Leon’s tongue and his large nose. You looked down at him and the only thing you could see was the top of his head, his hair slightly moving back and forward. As Leon worked his magic you didn’t know what to do with your hands, you kept one on the arm of the chair, gripping it around the glass that Leon had placed there earlier, your other hand moved down your own body and you tangled it in Leon’s hair, grabbing onto it hard.

“Be careful.” He pulled away and breathed heavily. “You’re going to pull all of my hair out.”

You were taken back by his heavy breathing. “Can you even breathe down there?” You asked, genuinely concerned for him.

He chuckled and brushed his nose with his finger. “I’m fine. If I can’t breathe I’ll just pull away.” You nodded at him and he gave you a small smile before going back down, you made sure to loosen your grip a little on his hair, you sufficed to just slowly running your fingers through his locks.

You tilted your head back, banging it on the chair but you ignored it. Your body was too focused on trying not to suffocate Leon as he made you feel special. You shuddered, and flinched forward, holding both of your hands in Leon’s hair. He chuckled at your reaction and the small vibrations that came from his mouth were what sent you over the edge, your body continued to shake, wave after wave as you came on his face. You felt his tongue licking up all of it.

He pulled away and sat back, leaning against the coffee table. “How was that?” He asked. He looked at the watch on his wrist and then to his left at the sky. “How about we continue this in the bedroom?” He suggested as he stood up and held out his hand for you. “Angel wakes up at the same time everyday and I’m sure you don’t want her interrupting us.”

You couldn’t help but smile as you accepted his hand, standing up on your own two feet felt a little disorienting, from the combination of how much you had drank throughout the night and what Leon just did to you, but he made sure that you could walk. He led you up to his bedroom again, making this a night to remember.

BACK TO THE MAIN STORY

The next morning you were already sitting downstairs in the kitchen, drinking a cup of coffee. Your hangover made your head pound with every move and you thought you were just gonna end up vomiting on the kitchen floor. Leon was still in a deep sleep when you got up that morning so you didn’t want to disturb him by telling him your issues.

You were sitting there, wondering what's gonna happen next. You let the past night play through your head a few more times, wondering if it was a one time thing or meant something more. You let out a deep sigh, instantly regretting it and massaging your forehead.

You didn't notice Angel coming into the kitchen, asking if you were alright. You told her about your headache and severe nausea and she reached into a tall cabinet, pulling out a pill bottle. “Here.” She passed two of the pills and a bottle of water. “This should help, but be careful because it’s going to make you kind of tired.” You thanked her and swallowed the pills without question, followed by downing the entire bottle of water.

You sat beside the window with a large mug of coffee that you made for yourself, looking at the heavy rain that pelted against the window, just thinking about the possible outcomes now. It wasn't like you were regretting the past night, you just never had an experience like that.

Just after hearing a deep cough from behind you, you were taken back to reality. "Angel told me you were feeling sick, is everything alright?" You turned around, seeing Leon stand in the door frame. You took a deep breath, trying to find the right words.

"Yea.. it's just, well.. I don't really know actually." You took another sip from your coffee and felt Leon taking a seat next to you.

"Is it because of what happened last night?" He looked at you worried, scared that he might have taken it too far back then. You tried explaining it to him, failing miserably. “Are you embarrassed to be with an old man like me?” Leon put himself down. You shook your head, too hard making you feel sick again but you tried to ignore it.

"That's not it.. I'm just.. I don't want this to be just another one night stand to you. I don't know what I want but-"

“I won’t abandon you, if that is what you’re scared of.” Leon looked at you seriously and took your hand in his. You weren't really sure if there was still some alcohol inside your body controlling your actions, but you brought your head closer to his. You weren't really sure what it was between you and Leon, but you knew you were way more than just friends.

You felt Leon's hand on your cheek, also getting closer to you now. You closed your eyes waiting for him to take the next step. And before you realized it, you felt his soft lips resting on yours sending butterflies through your entire body. You smiled into the kiss, leaning closer to him.

“This is just like the movies huh?” He chuckled.

----

Taglist: @trinswhimsys @dixanadu

[katytheinspiredworkaholic]

I’ve been rewatching CM and god, what I wouldn’t give for them to bring TG back for this revival. I haven’t even watched seasons 12-15 yet because I’m in denial about him being gone 😭😭😩

omg I haven't watched it either xD I've been holding off watching s11e22, The Storm, for like a month I swear. Which, I know is going to be amazing but I also have heard it's the beginning of the end and I'm not readyyyyyyy.

I would give anything for TG to come back. A n y t h i n g. But idk what CBS feels is the appropriate amount of time to be blacklisted or whatever the hell they did 🤷‍♀️ despite how it would be so easy to write him back in, and the missed opportunities is already making my skin crawl.

Okay. This was going to be a quick answer, but I've been THINKING about this way more than I should lately, without ever having watched 12-15 but I feel like I know enough, and with all the projects I'm going to be finishing/starting soon I know I won’t have time to do anything with my ideas. So I'm just going to type this little beginning I have plotted out and maybe one day I'll make it into the fic I want it to be:

(I know you didn't ask for a hc/blurb thing but surprise you get one xD)

CW: Spoilers for season 11-15 that are probably inaccurate af, fighting, violence, bit of blood and injuries talk, some profanity. 

-

((I legit have this all plotted out like a full season, and picture everything as shots and scenes and I know exactly how I would want to bring Hotch back.))

-

It would start in a small suburban town in Indiana, legit white-picket fence, middle of nowhere, off the grid town. With the most pedestrian name ever, we might as well call it Mayberry. Typical weekend morning, bright green grass and trees and summer sunshine lighting it all up, they still get papers delivered it’s that picturesque. And it’ll pan to all sorts of people on this street of nice, two-story houses, and finally zero in on not the man picking up his paper from his front porch, but the jogger slowing down that the man calls to next door, calling him a name we’ve never heard before -- but the jogger answers with that dark eyed squint and a nod... and it is Aaron Hotchner. Or the man who used to be Aaron Hotchner. He hasn’t gone by that name in years, WITSEC provided him and Jack with new ones.

His house isn’t even really decorated like a home, he’s been in enough over the years to know tell-tale signs of what a happy home should entail. Photographs, memorabilia, nostalgia tucked away in corners -- they don’t have that. He has a couple of photographs he keeps in his office, the only two in inconspicuous view being a photo of Haley and Jack when he was two years old, and a photo of his team the day he completed the FBI triathlon and they all showed up to support him. Everything else of their old life is in boxes in a storage facility in downtown D.C., under another false name that can never be linked back to them. 

Mr. Scratch was a poor excuse for why he and Jack were still under WITSEC, but he hopes near daily that it was enough of a reason that no one would question why he didn’t return once that monster was dead. That no one smart enough to read between the lines would go digging for more reasons, or worse -- try to find him -- and they pictured him living a happy retirement very similar to the charade he is living now. 

But Aaron Hotchner was never meant for retirement. No matter how easy and simple his days have been the past few years. It was only a matter of time. 

He walks through his home that looks more like the insides of a Home Living magazine, to his kitchen which is bright and spacious and tiled white that he knows Haley would have loved, getting a glass of water from the sink and chugging it all in one go. It isn’t until he’s getting a second glass that he hears it. The faucet was supposed to have masked any disturbance, they were careful in when they moved, how they placed their feet, the slowness of the their approach -- but not enough.

Hotch keeps his shoulders relaxed, his spine still ram-rod straight but that’s just how he stands and it keeps tension ready at a moment’s notice. Keeps him on alert, which he needs as he takes slower sips of water and lets all his other sense shift to a heightened awareness. Knows this house like the back of his hand, even if he’s never allowed himself to consider it home, so he knows which floorboards creak and where all the furniture is strategically placed. Always prepared for something like this to happen, even if he never imagined someone would be so bold. 

Their mistake.

With a careful tick of his head, peripherals his only guidance, he strikes before the intruder gets to. An iron grip and momentum that propels their face into the metal of the sink basin, shocking them that what their file was so misleading about their target. Retired FBI agent, almost 60 years old, living in Pleasantville with a picket fence and a vegetable garden. This should have been easy. The intruder is stunned by the blow, attempts a quick recovery where they lash out and get a few good body shots into the older man -- but he’s built like a brick wall, can take a blow and give it back twice as hard -- a few more precise hits and another crack of their face to the sink that shatters the bridge of their nose leaves the attacker slumping to the floor. 

“You didn’t do your research,” Hotch tells them, breathing a little heavy, opening up a drawer usually deemed for junk and pulls out zipties and an ancient looking cell phone buried deep at the back. “Sloppy. I expected more from him.” 

The attacker kicks out Hotch’s knees in a fit of rage (at having his skill set insulted so), leaving them both crashing to the floor. They grapple and fight a bit more, knocking dishes from the counters and pots and pans to the floor from the grill top island, but Hotch is so well-trained in take downs he gets the slighter man pinned with only a split lip and a single hitch in breath. He barely broke a sweat. Knocks the guy out clean, two solid punches to his face, and he stops because he knows better. Has been there before, and they need to question whoever was sent to his house to kill him. 

He’s barely off the floor, the intruder binded and stuck in a corner when Jack walks in from early morning soccer practice. Takes one look at the kitchen, his dad with blood in the corner of his mouth, and the guy all in black bound by zipties and already knows what happened. Sixteen, nearly as tall as his father now, he looks only mildly worried for all of two seconds until he sees that his dad has an old flip cell phone held up to his good ear, awaiting a connection with their handler in Indianapolis. 

“... Does this mean we get to go home?” 

The shot would pan back to Hotch, and he wouldn’t answer him, just tells the person on the phone to ‘patch him through, they have a situation’, and there would be no very obvious look in answer to Jack’s question. But all of us who know him, know the subtle changes in expression and the slight softening to that stern frown, knows what his reply would have been.

-

The very next scene would be the BAU. JJ and Emily walking at a brisk pace covering a debrief, since they basically run the department now. Everyone has been called in, everyone, retired and moved away and even the ones who cut all ties have been contacted. JJ has just gotten off the phone with Elle, who is working as a liaison in Rome and assured her that if anyone showed up in her home to attack her that they would be leaving in a body bag. But she appreciated the heads up. 

In the bullpen it’s more like a family reunion than anything. Garcia has just gotten off the elevators, a flurry of color and blonde curls and bright as ever, Morgan and Savannah are trying to corral Hank and the twins (both girls and pure chaos now that they can walk) while still making introductions with the new team and their families, and asking if Reid or Rossi know anything about what’s going on as JJ gets there and asks for everyone’s attention. 

“Not everyone is here yet, Kate and her family are on their way from upstate, Will’s getting the boys from school, and Alex and her husband are on a plane, but we need to get started as soon as possible.”

“What’s is going on, JJ?” Morgan asks, passing off one of the twins to Penelope who is in full baby fever mode despite what is obviously a very bad circumstance that has brought them all together. It’s a juxtaposition that has put everyone on edge. It doesn’t help when JJ and Emily look at each other as if in confirmation, trying to decide who is going to tell them.

“Okay, that doesn’t inspire confidence,” Rossi points out. “What happened?”

Emily sighs and makes a gesture for JJ to take the floor, since she has been on point for most of this.

The bull pen is silent in anticipation.

“Earlier this morning, Hotch was attacked in his home in Indiana,” she says, and whatever anyone thought was going on -- that wasn’t it. The shock across the room is like a bomb has detonated.

Rossi curses something out in Italian, looking down, and JJ immediately realizes how this all sounds. But doesn’t even get to backtrack as Reid looks completely devastated and Garcia like she’s about to cry and everyone else starts shouting questions at her. 

“What happened to Jack?”

“How did they even find him? What the fuck is wrong with WITSEC?!”

“Is he okay?” asks Tara, the only intellectual who can see the panic now blooming on JJ’s face.

“Yes, yes! He’s okay, sorry, no -- Hotch is fine. The guy who tried to kill him... not so much, but he should be conscious soon so they can question him.” 

“Jesus Christ, JJ,” Morgan says looking like he just aged ten years in the past 30 seconds. “Lead with that.”

“Sorry, I’m sorry. He’s okay, Jack is okay, they’ve been picked up. But... there’s a lot we need to be filled in on,” she admits, which quiets the room once more. “Apparently, the WITSEC had nothing to do with Mr. Scratch. There’s something much bigger and more dangerous going on, and he went under to keep us all safe. As well as himself, and Jack.” 

“What is it?”

JJ makes a gesture with her hands splayed as she looks a little lost. “I only know bare bones, we have to wait to hear the specifics and get everyone somewhere safe.” 

“You think we’re going to trust WICSEC after this?!”

Emily intervenes this time, “We have a plan, or... Hotch has a plan, I think. We’re just learning about everything as we go, he’s really the one that knows the most about it.”

“Then where is he?” Morgan speaks up again. “If he’s been pulled out, and we’re all in danger, why isn’t he here explaining this to us himself?” 

It’s a good question, and everyone looks expectantly at the two women leading the informal briefing. 

“Will he come back at all?” Reid asks, speaking up for the first time. It’s been years, that’s a long time to rethink a life like the BAU, and everything it entails.

JJ takes a deep breath. “He’s... in--”

“Out-processing.” 

Hotch is at the back of the room. Everyone turns to him, even JJ and Emily look surprised to see him so soon.  ((But we all know the CM cinematography love that kind of return shot, so I’m catering to it. For situational parallels if nothing else. Imagine the gif sets.))

“I pushed it as fast as they could go, but WITSEC always drags their feet.” The familiar drone, dry barely-there-humor, breaks whatever spell that had been over the room at the sight of the old Unit Chief. Disbelief and relief and stunned surprise litter every expression, and although Penelope looks like the first to say something, her words change course just as she opens her mouth. Because  Hotch is still in civilian clothes, a duffle-bag over his shoulder he used as a go-bag for decades, and beside him with a bag of his own with messy dirty blonde hair is--

“Oh my God, is that Jack!?” she near sobs, the teenager smiling at her in a way that looks so much like Haley, and she goes to hug him first with the boy meeting her halfway. “You’re so tall! And so grown up, look at you!” There’s definitely tears and the team converges on the Hotchners all at once. Reid hugs Hotch first, as tight and bone-crushing as that night in Atlanta all those years ago, followed soon after by Rossi who looks like he might shake the man but just hugs him tight and plants an absurdly embarrassing kiss on his cheek that finally cracks Hotch’s expression into something like a smile. Everyone hugs, everyone, Savannah calls him Aaron instead of Hotch because that was how he’d introduced himself all those years ago, the twins wave shyly and he shakes hands with the newer members that never got to meet him but have heard very tall tales about him for years and years. 

(And y’all, it would be the best damn scene and I would sob like a baby watching it.)

Morgan would be the one that would hold back and let the others go first, but it would also be the most profound when Hotch goes to shake his hand and the other man uses that to pull him into a tight hug of his own. 

“I’m glad you can still hold your own,” he’ll tease with nearly no heat behind it. Hotch hears it for the caring that it is.

“Like hell I would let that happen twice in my own home,” he assures him. 

Everyone settles down, and Emily leads some finer points of what’s going to happen with everyone in the next few hours. Days. Weeks, even, because there’s no knowing what is going to happen next. Hotch observes her, and there HAS to be a shot where she glances over to him and they share a look of understanding -- because she is Unit Chief now, and he approves of what he sees. 

But she turns the floor over to him, and Hotch explains what’s going on.

((I’m going to leave the finer points out about the case and the unsub, mostly because I haven’t finished ironing them out yet and I hope once I watch the remaining season I will be able to much more easily))

But at SOME POINT in the briefing, when Hotch is explaining what happened with the assassin in his home and how he apprehended him, and Emily maybe interjects with the injuries sustained and that they are still waiting for the man to regain consciousness. Penelope will 100% lean over to where Jack is sitting beside her and say without flinching, “Your dad is such a bad ass.”

((I also plan on bringing up Reid was in prison in this scene but it will be more humorous than anything because of Hotch’s reaction, stay tuned on that one. Again I’m not there yet))

((and where I’m taking them is also a secret because I need to do research and it will be so damn cool, but Hotch has everything completely planned out -- like he does. Goes as far as asking the few who question him “Secure enough for you?” when he drops where they will be staying and the protection they will have. Full blown mic drop moment.))

“So gather all of your belongings that you have here. Secure pets and homes, call the kid’s schools, whatever you need to do,” Hotch informs them, stepping back into his old shoes as team leader without even meaning to. But no one tells him to stop. “We need to be in the air ASAP, the jet is being prepped as we speak so we need to move on this.”

He leaves it at that, and everyone doesn’t move. Watching, waiting, smirking a little bit (Penelope, maybe even Reid), until he gives in.

“Wheels up in 30.”

Garcia giggles so much she near cackles with it. “Oh, I just got goosebumps!” And by Emily’s smirk and Morgan’s shared grin with Reid, a million watts between them, everyone is up and moving and pulling out cell phones to get their affairs in order.

Rossi sidles up to Hotch at that point, also openly smirking that they got him to say those four time-honored words. “Welcome back, Aaron.”

And Hotch, well -- he looks around the room at the family he had to leave behind without any hope of seeing them again, and feels every hardened edge in his face and demeanor soften. Before he looks to Dave and tells him what’s been going through his head ever since he walked back through the doors of the BAU.

“It’s good to be home.”

((END SCENE))

[ordinaryschmuck]

What I Thought About "Hunting Palismans" From The Owl House

Salutations, random people on the internet who certainly won’t read this! I am an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons.

Today, I present to you reason #4,693 for why The Owl House is the best thing at the moment: It's the perfect balance of serialized storytelling with an episodic format. The story always moves forward with an exact order for how episodes should be watched, but each episode still functions as its own standalone tale. Having prior knowledge of what happened before adds more to the experience, but you can still watch whatever you want and still have an enjoyable time. Take "Hunting Palismans," for example. It adds so much more to the overarching narrative while slightly continuing other threads. But it's still something you can watch as is without remembering the past or wondering about the future.

However, to properly explain how requires spoilers. I wasn't kidding when I say that this episode adds so much, so you're going to want to be wary of that when you continue reading.

With that said, let's review, shall we?

WHAT I LIKED

Coven Heads Meeting: We already saw these fellow schmucks in the trailer, but that doesn't take away how cool they are! It's not explicitly stated which head belongs to which coven, but you can already tell who goes where just from their designs alone. And I love that. I love that just by showing us some excellent character designs, anybody with half a brain can already figure out the particular type of magic each Coven Head specializes in. It's a perfect example of the show-don't-tell level of storytelling that is always at its best through animation, and I'm all for it because of it.

What the Day of Unity is: Several fans, myself included, have already speculated that the Day of Unity was that Emperor Belos planned to combine the human world with the Boiling Isles and rule it all with an iron fist. That being said, figuring it out is one thing, but being told that it's true is a whole different level pants-s**ting horror that I AM NOT READY FOR! Even when it's going to happen, I can assure you that I will not be prepared to witness it ...and I am scared of when it does.

Belos Body Horror: ...Disney, I was already scared s**tless of this guy. I DO NOT NEED THIS!

That being said, seeing Belos do...whatever the f**k that was, helps explain further why he needs the magic in palismans. I always assumed because it's like fuel for a car, giving him the power he needs. Now, even though the answer is more apparent, there are still some questions to be had. Is he cursed, and the magic keeps it at bay like Eda's potions? Or did he experiment with the wrong type of magic, and the palismans keep him stable? Only the future can say for sure...and I'm also not prepared for the answers from that either.

Golden Guard is Belos’ Nephew: Gosh dangit, THE INTRO HASN'T EVEN STARTED YET, AND THIS EPISODE IS ALREADY GIVING SO MUCH!

But, yeah, the most powerful witch on the Isles is apparently Golden Boy's Grunkle Belos. That very knowledge is incredibly interesting to discuss while presenting possibilities for future narratives. I don't know about you, but I see the Golden Guard going down the path of Zuko, learning that the magic of friendship is worth much more than whatever power he gains from being Belos' nephew. And possibly earning his uncle's love seeing how he's the only family he has. It's a situation that's vastly different from Amity's because even when she defies her parents, she'll still have Edric and Emira at the end of the day. For Golden Guard, knowing that he lost a great family to wild magic, the inclination to go against Belos is a lot weaker due to him being all he has left.

Oh, and also, Belos' family getting wiped out because of wild magic. Yeah, not only does that give the best type of motivation for Belos' distaste for it, but it also explains the Golden Guard's hesitance to use it. He's inclined to so he can save his uncle, sure. It's only the fact that he knows what happens with wild magic that causes some resistance...Also, we're less than a minute in, and I'm already getting all of this from one discussion between two characters.

HOW IS THIS SHOW SO GOOD?!

Intro Changes: It's about time too. It seems weird that the crew waited to change Eda and King's designs in the intro this late in the game, but it also tells me that Amity dying her hair lavender is the last huge change this season will present. Otherwise, why change the intro at all if you were going to alter Luz, Willow, and Gus' designs anyway? It just doesn't make sense to me.

Luz Keeping the Echo Mouse as a Pet: The fact that she keeps the most important creature in the world to her as a pet...it's...it's adorable, alright? And as we established several times, I cannot hate adorable things.

Don't judge me!

Amity Staying Home: There are two plausible ways why Amity didn't go to school that day. Either she's getting punished for dying her hair or because she's trying to avoid Luz so they won't talk about the you-know-what. Either could work and seem understandable to Luz, thus explaining why she admits how "that makes sense." Although, there is something to discuss in how Luz is curious as to where Amity is. Judging from the tone of her voice, it's pretty clear that she wants to talk about the little peck on the cheek and maybe get some confirmation as to what it means. Because there is no going back from that. You can explain away saying or doing something stupid, but you cannot un-kiss a cheek. That is a point of no return, and if Amity really is avoiding Luz because of it, that means it's up to our favorite weirdo to make the first move. As for what that may entail...we'll just have to wait and see.

Frewin: We get two bits of information here for the price of one reveal here. Knowing that Frewin is a palisman is shocking enough, but the knowledge that Bump is partially blind and needs Frewin to see? That is an intriguing piece of intel that I would have never expected to get revealed. This is reason #5,279 for what makes The Owl House so good. Even when the show presents information you wouldn't guess, it's all so interesting anyways that you can't help but go along with it.

Adopting Palismans: First of all, love the fact that the Bat Queen makes a return to provide a solution to the palisman trees being rare and solving her own problem regarding the discarded palismans. It's a situation where everyone wins in a way that is so clever that I can't help but admire it.

Second, the idea of students choosing to adopt palismans instead is cute. I'd say it gives further insight into who these characters are in how they say what they want to be, but there's nothing really new added that fans couldn't figure out from the get go. But I will say that it's pretty cool to know that these characters have official staffs now. Speaking of which, if you're upset that their palismans don't match up with your headcanons...grow up.

This was a cute and smartly written scene that should not be bogged down by whiney fans who can't accept a series doing something different from what they expect.

Little Rascal: I’d take a bullet for this bird. That is all.

Luz Being Uncertain of her Future: A lot of fans offer several ideas of what the future could look like for Luz. Will she stay in the Boiling Isles? In Connecticut? Or will she go back and forth? We don't know, but one question we rarely brought up is what does Luz want? More specifically, what does she want to do? After everything Luz went through, the adventures she's gone on, and the lessons learned, what is something that Luz wants her future to be? That's an answer she doesn't really figure out, and I'm genuinely ok with that being a question that's tabled for another day. Most kids who ask that question themselves aren't always going to find an answer after a short amount of time and sometimes even need to spend their lives trying to figure it out. So having it be something Luz has to consider and probably find out in a future episode is the smarter option, as it allows time for it to simmer in her own mind and provides more insight into her character. As stated several times in this episode, she doesn't think things through, so it's nice that the writers finally allowed her some time to wonder what's next when the adventure is over.

Luz Having to Improvise Without Paper Glyphs: You want to know what my favorite Spider-Man moments are (this is relevant. Trust me). My favorite moments are when Spidey's web-shooters run out of fluid, and he's forced to improvise with that big brain of his to find a solution. That's sort of what happens with Luz in "Hunting Palismans." She didn't bring her glyphs with her (why would she), so she's forced to use the environment around her to make new ones. Plus, Luz also flexes her knowledge of the Boiling Isles by mixing her glyphs with a magical plant (which Willow certainly told her about) so that she and the Golden Guard could knock out Kikimora's dragon. It's yet another showcase of her intelligence that a lot of fans are too keen to overlook. Unfortunate to see, too, because looking at how well Luz can craft the perfect solutions by fighting smarter, not harder, is a fantastic add-on to her personality. I love characters who win through their wits rather than their raw powers, and I once again hope more people will catch onto that aspect of her too.

Golden Guard Whistling the Theme: Look, I love it when a show acknowledges its own theme song, ok? Leave me alone.

Luz and the Golden Guard: This is one of those dynamics you didn't know you wanted until you have it. And now that I have it, I DEMAND MORE!

Seriously, seeing these two interact off of each other was a ton of fun to watch. When Luz and GG are initially at each other's throats, their threats and mockery towards one another aren't out of spiteful anger between two mortal enemies. It's more like...two siblings who get on each other's nerves yet are supposed to deal with one another. It's equally adorable and hilarious, and yes, I absolutely loved that they're forced to work together in this episode because of it.

Although, while the entertainment value is fantastic, it also adds more proof of why Luz is the best character in the series. She spends one night with this guy, and that's more than what she needed to make a difference with him. I wouldn't go so far as to say that they're buddies now, but Luz definitely sowed the seeds into his redemption. He's far from willing to join her side, but he still does something he rarely does with anyone else: He told her that his name is Hunter. And this is what Luz does. Through nearly every person she meets on the Boiling Isles, she always manages to change them for the better. It'll be a while before Hunter deflects from Belos, but if Amity proves anything, Luz has a way of sneaking into people's hearts. They just need to spend more time with one another, and I can't wait to see what happens next because of it.

Kikimora Wanting to Kill Hunter: This shows a lot about who Kikimora is, but it potentially proves just how dysfunctional the Emperor's Coven can be. If Kiki proves anything, the coven must be filled with people willing to backstab and cheat their way to get on Emperor Belos' good side. Just look at Lilith. She literally cursed her own sister just to get in and received all the rewards because of it. The Emperor's Coven may be the best choice for witches to do magic, but if you're surrounded by people you can't trust, then is it really worth it?

The Guards Not Knowing Who Hunter is: This helps add to how much of a big deal it is for Hunter to reveal his name to Luz. If people can't even recognize his face, there's a chance it means that he keeps his true identity a secret except for those in his inner circle.

And the coven guards brushing off his brand is more than believable to me. They may be aware that Belos' right hand is young, but teens will be teens. Anybody with enough artistic talent can fake a brand. So it isn't too far off for those two to think Hunter was just a kid pulling a prank.

Hunter is Powerless Without his Staff: Not much to say here. It's just some more neat insight into Hunter's character that makes me wonder if even Belos' magic is real magic.

But I will say this: The fact that Hunter comes from a lineage of powerless witches, well, who's to say that isn't because of a...certain ancestor?

(*Cough* Hunter is related to Philip *Cough*)

Hunter vs Kiki: A pretty well-animated fight scene that adds potential drama to the story for the future. Now that Kikimora knows that Hunter helped Luz escape with the palismans (albeit unwillingly), she may or may not hold that over his head when the time comes. Or, at the very least, decides to keep a closer eye on him whenever he makes a slip-up.

Eda and King Getting Luz her own Palisman Wood: These last two weeks have been severely lacking in the Eda and King department, but scenes like this more than make up for it. Those two have formed such a bond with Luz to the point where they would do the impossible if it meant she would feel better. It proves just how much of a family they all are and the lengths they would go for each other. After all, weirdos have to stick together.

Little Rascal going to Hunter: Hunter is right. That was surprising.

Given how much Little Rascal stuck by Luz, I was more than positive that she would be the one he chose. So seeing Little Rascal pick Hunter instead is a much nicer twist. There could be multiple reasons why, and I'm just going to leave that to the analyzers in this fandom to decide. Especially since the answer isn't really all that important.

So, instead, I'm going to go ahead and sit in the corner as I wOrRy AbOuT tHe DaY tHaT bElOs FiNdS lItTlE rAsCal!

IT'S GONNA HAPPEN! AND I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY, IF THE WRITERS KILL HIM, I WILL NOT BE HAPPY!

WHAT I DISLIKED

First, there's...um...

Well, there was this...

Ok, as much as I liked--No, that turned out well anyways...

…

...

...I've got nothing.

I, honest to goodness, have no complaints about "Hunting Palismans" Not even the tiniest of nitpicks I would usually ignore due to how well-executed everything else was.

It's all written fantastically to the point where it's...perfect.

IN CONCLUSION

"Hunting Palismans" is an easy A+. It introduces even more plot threads, gives insight into characters, and despite being essential to the story, it still manages to be a fun episode all on its own. And, I'd go so far as to say that it's one of the best, if not the best, episodes in the series. There's nothing bad about it, and that surprises me. I rarely find nothing bad to say about any story, even the ones I enjoy greatly. I'm sure there are some flaws that others would be more than happy to point out, but why bother hunting for the imperfections when I could accept that, for once, an episode is simply perfect.

(And that’s six hits in a row...THAT STINKER IS GOING TO HAPPEN! It hasn’t happened yet, BUT IT’S GOING TO HAPPEN! I CAN FEEL IT!)

[captain-mcdavid]

alternate ending - pt.1

it’s been two years... josh and y/n have moved on and started new lives. but what happens when they find themselves in the same city working side by side? can they move past their previous games and reconnect? or will old habits die hard?

word count: 4.9k

smut: yes | no

warnings: swearing, alcohol

“Oh my god, please Thomas.” You groan, “Please, can you just be serious for one second. One second!” 

He raises his hands in defeat, “Okay, fine.” 

“Thank you,” You sigh, “Now go.” 

“Wait, what am I supposed to say again?” He asks, and you and the videographer share a look before you roll your eyes. 

“Bienvenue à nouveau, fans des habs.” You remind him. “On three, okay?” He nods, and you count down, smiling when it finally goes off without a hitch. “Alright now one more time, in English and then we can all go home.” 

He nods, and then shoots you a wink. You shake your head at him, counting up to three for the last time.

“Welcome back, habs fans!” Thomas says, and Ted, your videographer smiles.

“Done.” He turns off the camera, and you give him a pat on the back.

“We really appreciate you coming in Thomas,” You say, “Thanks again.”

“Anything for you, Y/N.” He smirks, and then he heads out.

“Alright, Ted. I’ll see you soon,” You say, gathering your things. “Have a good night.”

With that you wave and head out of the arena. Setting your things in the front seat of your Range Rover, you grin, taking a minute to admire your new car. This was something that would have taken you five years to save up for with the pay at your old job.

It’s kind of ironic, where you were two years ago to where you are now... You didn’t like your job back in Ohio but you couldn’t say you ever saw yourself coming back to Canada, let alone working for an NHL team. 

You thought you had it all figured out back in Columbus. But after your life took a nose dive you realized you really didn’t. A fresh start was what you needed, and luckily with your vast experience in media, you were qualified for a position that Seth recommended to you. A position as head of media operations for the Montreal Canadiens. 

You were weary at first, because why would you want to work in the NHL after you had a huge falling out with one of the players, but the more thought you gave it, the better the offer seemed. It was in Montreal, one of the most beautiful cities in the world, the pay was double what you were getting in Ohio, and it would be a lot more fun.

Not to mention, there were 31 teams in the NHL, and if the one guy you were worried about did ever leave Columbus, there was a ninety three percent chance he wouldn’t come to Montreal. (Literally, you calculated.)

And now it’s been two years, arguably the best two years of your life. You have everything you didn’t have in Ohio; Stable friendships, a job you actually enjoy, a great support system. You’ve gained in every aspect of your life.

You’ve just walked in your front door, when your phone rings. You pull it out of your purse, laughing when you see your bosses name lighting up the screen. “It’s been ten minutes, Reid.” You say, and he laughs. “I’m off the clock.”

“I know, I know.” He responds. “I’m sorry, just this and I’ll leave you alone.”

“Okay, shoot.” You tell him. 

“Tomorrow, media day, I split the players in half for you. We’ll do the first half tomorrow, and then the rest Friday.” 

“Sounds fine to me.” You shrug, “What changed?” 

“We have two new players flying in tomorrow, but they won’t be in until Friday. I figured instead of saving just the two newbies for Friday and rushing you tomorrow with the rest of the guys, we’d just split it evenly.” He explains. 

“Oh,” You say, usually you found out rather quickly when there were trades and new acquisitions, but you hadn’t heard anything today. “I didn’t know we got any new players, trades?”

“Yeah, two trades. I don’t know much, it just happened. New guys are, uh- let me see...” There’s a fast beating in your heart that you haven’t felt for at least a year. When you first started, every time you heard about a trade you’d get a little nervous, cause what if it was him? Eventually those nerves went away, but they seem to have made a comeback all of the sudden. 

You shake out your jitters while you wait for Reid to give you the names, “Here they are, first guy: Joel Edmundson, from Carolina.” You nod, it’s a name you’ve never heard before. 

“Second, Josh Anderson, from Columbus.” 

But that one? It’s a name you’ve heard all too many times. 

Thank god you’re not driving anymore, because you’re sure you would have swerved into oncoming traffic after hearing that. You can feel a chill spread all the way out to your finger tips, a unsettling nervous feeling sitting on your shoulders like a goblin. This can’t be happening. 

He can’t be coming here. 

“Y/N?” 

The phone is still held to your ear, but you can barely breathe let alone get a word out. 

“Are you there?” Reid asks, and finally you manage to just murmur out a noise of acknowledgement, and then you’re hanging up, nearly collapsing onto the couch. You’re in full blown panic mode. 

Within thirty minutes you’ve already fully played out scenario in your head where you quit your job and leave the city, move back in with your parents like a loser and remain single for the rest of your life. And it sucks, but honestly, it sounds better than actually dealing with this. 

If you stay, and let everything play out, you’ll have to see Josh. You’ll have to talk to him, interview him, all while acting as professional as possible so no one figures out that you have history. Now that, that seems just about impossible. 

In a haze you grab for your phone, searching for a specific contact you haven’t used in a while.

“Y/N, nice to hear from you! It’s been a while!” He says, but there’s a note of nervousness to his voice. 

“Seth.” You scold him. 

“I’m assuming you found out about Montreal’s recent acquisition?” 

“Yup, sure did.” You say sarcastically. “Twenty nine other teams that he could have gone to, Seth. Why here?”

“Yeah, yeah I know.” He says, “Ninety three to seven, the odds were in your favor, but apparently you’re just really unlucky.” 

“Super fucking unlucky.” You whisper, and you can hear Seth sigh on the other end of the phone. “Well, know of any other teams that are looking for media op managers? Columbus would be great,” You ramble, “There’s a really small chance he’ll come back, right?”

“Y/N, come on.” Seth says, “Last time I heard from you, you were loving it over there.”

“Yeah,” You admit, “I do, I love it here, but that’s all gonna change now.”

“It doesn’t have to,” Seth says. “You said you guys ended things on okay terms, if there’s no bad blood it shouldn’t be weird?” 

“Okay terms is not good terms. He told me he’d wait for me to figure my shit out, and then I basically pushed him out the door.” You explain, “We haven’t spoken since then, there’s no way that this isn’t gonna end terribly.”

“You can both learn to be civil and professional,” Seth tries, “You shouldn’t have to give up your job because of this.”

“Yeah, well...” You sigh, shutting your eyes tight. When you open them again you’re kind of hoping you’ll be anywhere but where you actually are, with any other reality, but you’re just stuck. “I don’t really see another way this can go.” 

“Don’t say that,” Seth whispers, “Promise me you’ll at least try. Try to make things work, don’t just give up before you’ve even tested the waters. This might end up being not even half as bad as you think it will be.” 

When you don’t respond, Seth continues, “You love your job, you love the city, you have friends... You’ve built a life for yourself there and you can’t give that up over this.”

If it weren’t for those things you would have quit the second you heard Josh’s name, but Seth is right... You’ve worked for everything you have here. You owe it to yourself to at least try to make things work here before you give it all up. 

You rub your temples with a deep groan, a dreadful feeling that you’re gonna regret this sinking in. But you sigh and agree anyway, “Okay. I’ll try.” 

“Yes!” Seth says, “You got this.” 

“Does he know?” You ask quietly. “Where I am? What I do?”

“No,” Seth answers, “I can tell him... If you want me to.” 

“No that’s okay-,” You decide, “He should probably hear it from me. Thanks, Seth.” 

“You’re welcome,” He answers, and you can’t help but smile a little. He was probably the one thing you actually missed from Columbus. “Will you call me in a few days? Let me know how things are going?”

“Yeah, of course.” You answer, “I’ll talk to you soon, okay?”

He confirms, and then says a short goodbye. 

You hang up the phone, and then head straight for your wine fridge. There’s a fancy bottle of white wine that you were saving for a special occasion, and while it’s not the type of celebration you were thinking, it definitely is an occasion. You pour yourself a tall glass, grab a chocolate bar, and head to the couch to start overthinking. 

Then you decide within the first ten minutes that thinking is going to do you no good, so you turn on the TV and grab another glass of wine, praying the alcohol will knock you out, because without it, there’s no way your brain will shut off. 

After the third glass and your sixth episode of Schitt’s creek, you finally start to feel tired. Instead of going upstairs and going to bed, you just flop over on the couch, pulling a blanket over your body before closing your eyes, avoiding all the thoughts bumping around in your head. 

They’ll still be there tomorrow you tell yourself, and then you’re out. 

••••••••••

friday

You’re basically tiptoeing around the arena, sneaking players here and there to get their headshots, all while trying your best to avoid him. 

Your plan is working quite well, you’ve manage to go over half the day without a run in. You’ve just finished with Shea, and you only have a few guys left, so you go for another stroll around the main concourse, looking for Brendan so you can get his goal animations done. You’re turning your head side to side, looking out for a short guy when you hear a familiar voice. 

It’s been two years but you’d recognize it anywhere. 

You freeze for a short moment before you’re all but throwing yourself into the room closest to you, which true to your luck, happens to be the men's bathroom. You twist the deadbolt behind you, staring at the door in pure horror. 

It wiggles against the hinges, and then you hear him, “This one’s locked, man.” 

You wait a good five minutes before you finally tiptoe out of the restroom, sneaking back to your office on extreme lookout. You sigh with relief when you’re in the constraints of your office. You’re finally safe now. 

“Y/N,” Reid announces, opening your office door as usual, without knocking.

You give him a small smile, “Hey, Reid, what can I do for you?”

“I found the new guys for you,” He grins, and the smile drops from your face almost immediately. “They’re ready for their close up!”

You kind of feel like there’s a camera that you can look into like you’re on the office or something, because wow, what stupidly perfect timing. 

Normally you’d have the mind to fake a laugh at his dumb joke, but you just shake your head in panic, standing from your chair as you flail your arms. “No-,” You start to say, but it’s too late. 

“C’mon in guys,” Reid moves further into your office to clear the door way and you swear you could literally throw up on the spot right now. 

“Reid- I asked Ted to do their media stuff-,” You try, but it’s too late. 

They walk in, and you slap a hand over your mouth to keep from swearing loudly in front of your boss. That doesn’t stop Josh though, you can’t even look up at him, but all that comes out of his mouth is, “Holy shit.”

You nod your head, your hand slides up from your mouth to the side of your face to act as a shield, while you give Reid your fakest smile. 

He furrows his brows at you, “Everything okay, Y/N?” 

“Yeah, yeah...” You murmur, and you finally drop the awkward hand, crossing your arms with a huff. Your eyes stay trained on Reid, “I just um, I had asked Ted if he would do their media shots and he said he’d take care of it.” You explain, and your boss makes a face at you. 

“Oh how come? Are you not feeling well?” He gives you an out before you can even think of one, and you jump on it immediately, nodding your head quickly. 

“Yeah, just like splitting head ache,” You say, “Nausea, it’s gross. I don’t know what’s going on.” 

“Why didn’t you say anything?” He asks, and you feel terrible because you know he genuinely feels bad, Reid is one of the nicest guys out there. “You can go home, you don’t need to stick around.” He tells you, and you give him an appreciative smile, refusing to even let your eyes wander to the right. 

“That’s great, Reid. Thank you, I really appreciate it,” You’re about to drop, grab your bag and run out the room like the coward you are, but Reid motions to the boys and the overwhelming urge to throw up is stronger than ever. 

“I’ll just introduce you, and then I’ll send them over to Ted, you can get going.” He suggests, and you nod, sucking in a deep breath. “You’re looking quite pale actually.” Reid notes, “Poor thing,”

“Anyway,” He starts, and you force yourself to turn your body to the side, but you still can’t find the courage to look up at him. “This is Y/N, our head of media operations. She deals with all the social media, the interviews and that kind of thing. She’s great, she’s a huge part of our organization.” You give him a short smile in response, thanking him with a light tap on the arm. “Y/N, this is Joel and Josh, they’re gonna be great additions to the team.” 

“Joel, and Josh...” You respond quietly, extending a hand to Joel first, forcing yourself to make eye contact. “Nice to meet you,” You say, and then you move to Josh, holding out your hand to him too, repeating your earlier words firmly. “Nice to meet you,” 

It’s like your body goes cold when you look at him, he hasn’t changed one bit. He looks kind of confused, but accepts your handshake anyway, nodding with an unsure stare. He doesn’t make any move to let go, so you do it for him, pulling your hand from his grasp in a hurry while you grab your bag from behind you. 

“Sorry, Reid. Thanks again, I’ll be in tomorrow.” You tell him, and then you give Josh one last look, before heading straight out of your office. 

Reid looks a little bemused, but watches you leave anyways. You’re basically speed walking out of the arena, trying your hardest to make it to the parking garage in record time, because you actually feel like the air in the massive building is getting thinner. 

“You forgot this.” 

And just like that your heart rate spikes back up. When you don’t turn, or acknowledge him, he whispers your name and there’s a second where memories come flooding back. 

Your body is nearly frozen, you don’t think you could move right now if you wanted to. Josh comes to stand in front of you, and for the first time you’re forced to look at him. Really look at him. 

It’s been two years but you’d still know that expression anywhere. He’s hurt. 

“You work here.” He says, almost like he’s trying to convince himself. 

You bite your lips sheepishly, and you can feel your resolve starting to crumble. You can’t pretend you’re not completely overwhelmed anymore. 

“Were you ever gonna tell me?”

You find the strength to nod your head, but then a second later you’re shaking it to indicate that no, you weren’t. You hadn’t decided what you were gonna do yet, you knew he was gonna find out at some point, but you also knew deep down you were never gonna be strong enough to outright introduce yourself to him this way. You were just hoping when he did find out it wouldn’t be that bad... But here you are. “I was kinda hoping I could just avoid you.” You say honestly. 

He looks tense, like he’s holding back words. When he speaks he’s quiet, and you almost miss the way he scoffs quietly at your response. “Avoid me... Are we really that-,” He stops, leaving the sentence open, because he doesn’t know what word comes next. Neither do you, but you understand. 

You just look at each other for a moment, and it’s now that your emotions finally get the better of you. Tears well up in your eyes, and you just shrug at him, because you have no idea what to do. 

“I love this job,” You say weakly, “And I love living here, but-,”

Josh shakes his head and you stop, waiting for his interjection. “But nothing.” He starts, and then he’s moving one step closer to you, and him simply subtracting another inch shouldn’t affect you as much as it does. You feel your knees start to shake, the tears getting a little bit harder to ignore. 

“This doesn’t need to be weird.” He says quietly, “I don’t want it to be-,” Once again the words are left unsaid but you nod anyway, understanding. “We’ll figure it out, okay?”

You nod quickly, meeting his eyes. You can’t tell if the feeling is warm or cold, but it spreads through your body like wildfire within seconds. You wonder if he feels it too, if there’s anything still here after so long. He drops your gaze and holds your jacket out for you, you take it and then offer him a small smile, “Bye, Y/N.”

And then he walks away.

••••••••••

3 weeks later

“Habs reverse retro, um absolutely, I love these jerseys I think they’re really really cool, so I’m gonna swipe right on these.” Josh says, toying with the tiny phone in his big hands. 

You step in with a chuckle, waving a hand at Ted so he cuts the video. “Alright, you’re done! Perfect,” You say with a laugh, and Josh finally looks up from the phone. You share a glance with your videographer, both of you exchanging a knowing grin. 

“What?” Josh says, and you shake your head with a smirk. 

“Nothing,” You murmur. And Ted starts to laugh. 

“The camera loves you,” He says to Josh, “Almost as much as you love it,” 

He raises his eyebrows at you, “Was I not good?” The corners of his mouth turn up slightly and you just shake your head, trying to hide your wide grin. 

“No, no,” You stop him, and he looks at you skeptically. Finally you shrug and say, “Just maybe next time we do one of these you could like, I don’t know look up at the camera a time or two?” 

Josh starts to laugh, and he shakes his head, looking down bashfully at his feet. “This is not my thing, you know that.” 

And just like that, that stupid feeling is back. Out from the center of your chest all the way to your finger tips. It’s dull this time, but it’s there. You freeze, you’re really hoping Ted didn’t catch on, because you shouldn't know that. 

You change the subject before anything can come of it, and thank god Ted carries on as normal. He didn’t seem to notice, he just flips through his camera bag as usual, murmuring about Shea’s video being even worse. 

You’re not gonna give this anymore time to boil though, so you turn to the culprit, “You’re uh, you’re good to go, thanks Josh.” You say, scratching at the back of your neck. 

He just nods, looking worried at first, but and then half smiles before heading out the door. Once he’s out of ear shot you sigh, grabbing your bag off the chair. 

“Time for a lunch break, Ted?” Cause, wow do you ever feel like you need one. “We’ll film Brendan after?”

“Sounds good,” Ted smiles. 

You nod and then head for the hallway, making sure to go the opposite way Josh did. If you have to walk the whole concourse so be it. 

You shouldn’t be so skittish, you know that... But things have been good the last three weeks. You’ve managed to talk without it being horribly awkward, and no one has found out about your history yet. However, you’re not going to take any chances. The longer you’re in the same room with him, the more likely someone is to slip up, like Josh almost just did. You don’t need to spend a bunch of time with him, just enough time to get your job done. So that’s what you’ve been doing, the bare minimum. Talking only if you absolutely need to. 

The habs were having a great start to the season, not to mention Josh was a huge part of that. He was having the best start of his career, and you weren’t going to ruin it. 

You take a seat at one of the tables in the common area, pulling your book and salad out of your bag with a huff. You would really rather a burger and fries, or something not made up of 90% water, but it was in the fridge and it was easy so you grabbed it. 

You stab the fork into the lettuce, pulling it up one time before you just shake your head and leave it in the container, prodding around at it while your stomach grumbles. 

You look up from your book when your name is called, Joel and of course, Josh are sitting down at a table across from you, an obscene amount of boxed food in their hands. 

Your heart is thumping rapidly in your chest, and you try your best to talk through it, raising your hand in a wave, “Hi, guys.” 

“What’s going on?” Joel asks, “Hungry?”

“No but you sure look it,” You lie, nodding to the boxes they’re holding. 

Joel smiles giddily as they start to open them up, you just grin and then go back to poking at your salad, trying not to pay attention to how good their food smells. You try to distract yourself with your book, but yet again, that doesn’t last long. 

“Hey,” You look up, eyes meeting a complete stranger this time. “I was just wondering if you could tell me where the opposing team locker room is?” 

“Oh, yeah!” You say, standing from your chair to direct him down the hallway. “You’re a player?” You clarify, just to be sure, and he nods. “It’s just down the hall and to the left. Past the equipment room.” 

“Okay...” He says, and you stare oddly as he looks down at his feet and then back up at you. “Thanks,”

He has longer blonde hair, what these stupid boys would probably call a flow, and a long one at that, but he pulls it off. He’s got a nice face with a trimmed beard, and you can tell just from one look at him, swedish. 

He stares at you for a moment and then chuckles uncomfortably, “I’m sorry, worst conversation starter ever.”

Your stomach knots when he says that, and you want to believe that the reason for it has nothing to do with that fact that Josh is sitting right there, watching all of this. You just smile awkwardly, “It wasn’t terrible? More the follow up that could use some work...” You joke. 

“I just saw you sitting here and I thought you were really beautiful, I’m William. I play for the Oilers.”

Your heart is pounding in your ears, and although this guy is really sweet all you can think about is Josh sitting right there and hearing all this, but you try your best to smile anyway, not wanting to be rude. “That’s really sweet of you, thank you.” Maybe at a different time you’d give this guy a chance, because he seems quite nice. You briefly remember seeing a name on the Oilers roster for tonight, William Lagesson.

He’s about to open his mouth again, when a whistle from behind the both of you catches your attention, you turn to see a red head with a toothy grin. “Leave that poor girl alone, Laggy.” The red head snips, and William runs a hand through his hair nervously. 

You laugh, trying to make him feel better, and he chuckles with a shake of his head, mumbling an apology for his teammate. “Can I maybe just get your number?” He asks, and you try not to look as surprised as you really are. 

It’s been ages since someone asked you for your number, and apparently it’s been a long time since you said no too, because you completely forget how.  

Your overwhelming urge to be nice all the time fails you here, and you find yourself saying yes even though you really don’t want to. He’s sweet and all but, you’d rather not do the hockey player thing again. 

At the last minute you finally have the mind to put a fake number in, and you feel bad momentarily as he smiles and says bye, but as soon as you see the empty spot at Joel’s table, you just feel panicked instead.

Josh is gone... Does that mean he didn’t hear?

You pack up your things and then stop beside Joel, he side eyes you and then makes a face and you just frown. 

“Coach texted Josh, so he wasn’t lucky enough to hear that whole thing... Me on the other hand?” He takes an obnoxious bite of his food as he shoots you a wink, and all you can do is roll your eyes, and walk away. “That was hilarious!” Joel calls behind you, and you just wave him off, but really, there’s some relief setting in when you find out that Josh missed that last part. 

When you arrive back at your office, there’s a note from your boss, and a box on your desk. 

“Head home early today. Boys will be preparing for the game. We can finish up on Monday. -Reid” Is written in his chicken scratch on a bright pink sticky note. 

You do a happy little wiggle, and then reach for the box. It smells amazing, and your stomach grumbles at the thought, but then when you open it and realize what it is, you’ve suddenly lost your appetite. 

It’s pad thai and spicy yam chicken... Your favorite. 

You know instantly this isn’t from Reid... There’s probably only one person in the world who knows what your order is. You used to go to that thai place by his house all the time, and you’d always order the same thing. 

You don’t even put your bag down, you just leave the food on your desk and turn the light off before walking out. 

You try your best not to think about everything that happened today on your way home, because it felt like a huge step back after three weeks of progress. 

You stop for some groceries, and take a look in a little boutique, anything to keep your mind busy. When you arrive home you play music almost as loud as it can go, hoping it will drown out your thoughts. Over the last three weeks you’ve done enough thinking about this, you’re tired. 

So you workout, shower, make some dinner, and then you sit down to watch the game, pinching yourself every time you find your eyes lingering on number seventeen a little too long. 

The game is pretty slow, the boys aren’t playing their best, Edmonton is on their game and you just know they’re not gonna come out of this one with the two points, but you watch anyway. You kind of want to turn it off and switch to something else after the second period, but you give in and stick around for the third. 

All is fine and normal until the five minute mark ticks down on the clock. 

The camera spans to the right to follow the players going up the ice, when you hear the commentator say, “Big battle, in front of the net...”

And your heart just about stops, because you have a feeling you know exactly who it is. Guess Joel was wrong... He did hear the whole thing. 

“Anderson, and Lagesson, they’re still tied up together. Anderson is hot.”

[celestialrry]

more than a melody

7k (longest I’ve done so far!)

summary: You and Harry are roommates, and he finds himself crushing on you, even though he really shouldn't be. (college!harry au)

warnings: nothing, just incredibly cute 

When Harry had put out a listing for a roommate for his apartment, he remembered putting how he didn't prefer the gender of his roommate, and well, because he was a boy and he lived in a heterosexual-normative world, he had assumed another boy would contact him. 

That is where it went a little off-course. You had approached him where you both worked, the record store (Harry had just gotten the job a few weeks ago), and you had asked about it. The two of you talked about it for a while, and after you toured the flat, you both decided you would be his new roommate and move in that week. Of course, you were cautious about moving into a flat with a man you barely knew, however charming he may be. You had watched enough Criminal Minds to be rightfully nervous, and it seemed Harry read your mind when he gave you his friends numbers, Sarah and Mitch, to talk about it. You had met up with them, and your worries had soon faded away, and well, you had a lock on your bedroom door. 

Once you had moved in, over the next few weeks the two of you had made a little routine. You both had morning shifts at the shop, Wednesday through Saturday, and morning classes almost every other day of the week but Sunday. It started when the two of you had a shift you needed to get to and found yourselves standing in front of the only bathroom in the apartment.

“G’morning.” Harry mumbled blearily, and you responded the same, trying not to look anywhere but his face, as he was clad in only a pair of black briefs and a black t-shirt. You checked the time on your phone and cursed in your head, only 15 minutes until you needed to leave to get to work. “Let’s just brush our teeth together really fast and then we can do everything else after, yeah?” You had suggested, to which Harry agreed and opened the bathroom door for you to walk in first. As he walked in, he grabbed his pink toothbrush out of the plastic holder and after putting toothpaste on it and wetting it, he began to brush his teeth. You found it ironic that the man who solely wore black skinny jeans and band t-shirts had a pink toothbrush, but found it slightly adorable. 

You grabbed your green one and did the same, and soon deciding to multi-task. You reached around Harry’s torso for your hair brush, and brushed through with one hand, the other still brushing your teeth. Suddenly Harry felt as if he should be doing something else too, and decided to simply run a hand through his curls, that were beginning to reach his shoulder, as brushing them out would make it far worse.

He then began to run the water and spit out his toothpaste, cupping a hand and filling it with water, bringing it back up to his mouth and swishing it around before spitting it out again. As he reached for the little folded hand towel on the counter he used for this and patted his mouth, you did the same as him. 

It happened nearly every morning, you would both say a quiet good morning, then brush your teeth together in silence, and of course, Harry ended up putting on pants before the restroom, but his shirt had been lost along the way. It was never awkward or anything, and you oddly got a lot of joy by seeing him almost every morning. On this particular day you had stayed up until 4 a.m. studying for a test you had in the morning, and Harry had picked up an extra shift at the record store because a co-worker had called in sick. As you both walked into the restroom, Harry watched as you began to brush your teeth and close your eyes for a minute while doing do, swaying a bit so you won’t fall down. 

It was painstakingly obvious you were tired, but Harry found your actions endearing. He was able to freely look at you because you couldn’t see him, obviously. You looked adorable, mouthful of toothpaste, and your arm wrapped around your waist. He just wanted to kiss you all over your face to wake you up and- he shook his head, eyes darting back to himself in the mirror. He couldn't think like that. He barely knew you, and you lived together.

It wasn't like the two of you never talked, when you had work together you would usually switch off drivers and carpool.  But not once had you had a conversation truly getting to know one another and its already been 2 months. Harry had yet to see you as friend, not because he didn’t want that of course, hell, he wanted to get to know you more than anything, but neither of you had yet to suggest bonding time. 

When you both were done brushing your teeth, you had splashed water on your face in an attempt to wake up a bit more. It didn’t work as you pat your face dry and sighed, looking into the mirror at your puffy eyes, rubbing them a bit with a pout.

Harry was positive it took everything out of him not to wrap you in a massive hug and and kiss the pout off of your lips. This would be the death of him.  He immediately turned away, walking back out and into his room to calm down. This was just a harmful crush that would go away in weeks time, he was sure of it.

                                                        ✧˖*°࿐

Harry was wrong.

About a week later, the two of you had yet to connect, but every time he laid eyes on you, he wanted you more than anything he could possibly think of. It was terrifying, but it had been a while since he felt this way for anyone. It was like he was in the honeymoon stage of a crush, but instead of it being bliss, it was embarrassment every time he opened his mouth.

Harry was utterly tongue-tied every time he spoke around you and his cheeks flushed a pink tint. Luckily for him, it seemed you were absolutely oblivious to it.  You were so oblivious, in fact, that you thought he didn't even like you as an acquaintance or roommate, considering he rarely ever spoke to you.

Things would soon change for the better, you both hoped, and eventually you got tired of waiting. “Harry?” You asked one morning, after you spit out your toothpaste and wiped your mouth. 

He stoped running his hands through his hair and his head almost snapped towards you. “Yeah?” He asked, pretending like his heart wasn't beating out of his chest.  He was actually quite afraid you would see it, as he wasn't wearing a shirt this morning, or any other morning after he has started wearing pants and well, it took a while for you to not drool after you saw his bare front, littered with tattoos, on his chest, tummy, shoulders and arms. It really didn't help that his abs were prominent, and every time he leaned down to wash his face, you could see his back muscles ripple under his skin-

“Um,” You shook yourself out of the trance you had gotten into and continued. “We should like, hangout and actually get to know each other-you don’t have to at all-but I mean, I wanna get to know you, we’re living together, you know?” You suggested, trying to calm yourself down and accept the response of “I don't want to.”

Instead, Harry had bit his bottom lip to stop his smile from reaching his ears and he nodded. “I-I think we should too, when, um, I mean, uh, what do y’wanna do?” He mentally cursed himself for stumbling over his words, he was such a fool.

You hesitated for a second, looking down his body involuntarily as your gazed reached the floor. “We could just make food together and then have dinner here one night? When are you free?” You said, looking back up at him. 

He flushed as your eyes ran up and down his body. He didn't feel insecure, just a little more exposed than he should. He was shirtless in front of you all the time, it truly made no difference and you didn't seem to mind. “Um, yeah, that sounds really good, I-I can do tomorrow night actually,” He spoke slowly, his arms wrapping around himself. “What would y’like to eat? I can go to the store this afternoon.”

“Oh! Perfect, Saturday night is free for me too,” You grinned. “I really don’t care, as long as its decently easy to make, you choose.”

He confirmed a meal with you before nodding and stepping out to change before walking into the kitchen to grab his car keys and waiting for you. It was his turn to drive the two of you to work. You popped out in some jeans and a t-shirt, grinning at Harry as he opened the front door for you. 

Today was already off to a great start, he thought as he watched you hop in his car and ramble about some new artist you had found called Edward Rags. What a stupid name, Harry Styles thought. 

Soon enough it was Saturday night, and you had both agreed there was no need to dress nice, you’ve already seen each other in pajamas so there was no point, and you showed up in pajama shorts and a t-shirt, whereas Harry went for sweatpants and a t-shirt as well. He had turned on his playlist, with an awful lot of older music and you both started cooking dinner, singing along to some parts and moving around to others. 

The two of you had talked about family, what you were both studying in uni, friends, what you did in your free-time, and got into a particularly long conversation about how you believed the Notebook, the book, was astronomically better than the movie. Harry disagreed, and tried to keep himself civil without popping a vein in his neck. “It’s a cinematic masterpiece!” He had exclaimed, resulting in you rolling your eyes, and going back to stir the food in the pot. “The best movie in the world would be nowhere near as good as the best book in the world, Harry.” God, he loved the way his name sounded coming from your mouth, imagine what it would sound like if you moa- another head shake. Harry’s imagination was getting out of control. 

Before he had the chance to respond, Jealous Guy by Donny Hathaway started playing and you looked over at Harry with a large smile on your face. “I love this song.” You simply said, turning back to the pot. Harry mustered up the courage and tapped you on your shoulder, his hand out, and body partially bowed. “Would y’care for a dance?” He asked, his dimples showing. 

You grinned and took his hand as he brought the two of you into a slow dance. 

I was dreaming of the past,

And my heart was beating fast.

I began to lose control, 

I began to lose control.

The two of you swayed to the song, looking at each other resulting in the two of you bursting out laughing. His hand held yours up, with his hand lightly placed on your waist. “I’m just a jealous guy.” You both softly sang, grinning wide. After more laughs and singing along, the song was over, and harry let go of your hand, his own slowly moving from your waist. He would give anything to kiss you he was sure, but instead opted to comment on your dancing skills and received a swat to the bicep.

Soon, dinner was made, and the two of you sat at the dining table for four, talking about everything you both could possibly think of. It was never awkward, which you were extremely grateful for, and after a few hours, it seemed as though the two of you had known each other for years. You had found yourselves sitting on the couch, facing each other, your legs on top of his, and his arm resting on your knees. 

“So once I’m more stable I’m gonna ask to have Evie, she loves me way more too, how would you feel about living with a cat?” Harry asked, his eyes boring into your own. If he could paint, he was positive you would be the only thing he ever painted. 

“I’d love that, I can’t wait to meet her.” You smiled, yawning. Harry took notice of your yawn and looked at the clock. Almost 12 a.m.. “We should probably get to bed.” he suggested, moving his arm off of your legs, allowing you to swing your legs off of his own. You nodded, yawning once again, Harry catching it and yawning after you. You laughed a bit, and stood up, stretching before facing Harry, who now stood in front of you. 

“Okay,” You said, looking up at him, “Goodnight Harry, I had a lot of fun.” You said, about to turn around. “Me too,” He said, hesitating a bit before wrapping his arms around you in a hug. Your eyes widened, you weren't expecting a hug, but after feeling it, you wouldn’t want anything else. “Goodnight, sweet dreams.” He mumbled, pulling away slightly and then gently pressing a kiss to your forehead. You smiled and the two of you parted ways, walking to your respective rooms. Little did the other know, the two of you were both feeling the same way.

                                                       ✧˖*°࿐ 

It had been a couple months since that dinner, and it was safe to say the two of you had grown incredibly close. Harry seemed to always find a way to touch you, whether it be grabbing onto your hand to drag you somewhere, putting his hand at the small of your back to guide you through a crowd, making sure his thigh touched your own whenever the two of you sat next to each other, or wrapping an arm around your shoulders as you walked somewhere. He just wanted to be near you, and you felt the same. You could call him one of your best friends and he could do the same. Now that he knew you though? It just made his little crush a thousand times worse, and he found himself thinking of you more than anything else throughout the day.

In addition to wanting to feel you all the time, after he kissed you on the forehead, he quite literally got addicted to kissing you. All over your face, he had kissed your cheeks, nose, but never your lips. He found himself thinking about that a lot, what it would be like to actually kiss you. If he enjoyed kissing your cheeks this much, he knew that if he kissed you on your lips, he would never stop. But his consciousness stopped him from making a move, because the two of you were roommates. What happened if you started dating, then broke up? The two of you would have to move out, and make what would just be a breakup, so much worse. 

It never stopped him from daydreaming though. He had picked up another extra shift at the record shop on Sunday, the day the two of you were both free, and was driving back to the flat, where he knew you would be studying. He passed all the familiar buildings, until one shop caught his eye. A flower shop, and in front of it there were bouquets of all sorts, but the sunflowers entranced him. He quickly got into the other lane and turned into the parking lot, getting out and making his way to the shop. He looked at the sunflowers, and thought of you. You were probably frustrated because of your class and scrunching your nose at the questions you didn't know the answer to. But you were like his sunflower, bright and beautiful, and the flowers might help your frustration. He grabbed the bouquet and paid for it, driving back to the flat with the flowers in his passenger seat. 

He opened the door, bouquet behind his back, where he saw you on your laptop on the couch, running your hands through your hair. “Hey lovie, what’s goin’ on?” He asked, walking up to you. You sighed, looking up at him from your uncomfortable position on the couch. “Studying for this stupid test that really doesn't matter, but apparently to Professor Eden it matters a lot.” Harry pouted at your distress and brought the flowers into view. “M’sorry, let’s take a break. Also, thought this would cheer y’up a bit, they reminded me of you.” He mumbled, looking anywhere but you. 

Your eyes widened as you saw the sunflowers and tears of overwhelming emotions threatened to spill out of your eyes. You scrambled up and took them out of his large hand, gently placing them down on the coffee table before practically jumping on Harry to give him a hug. “Oh my god H, thank you. You’re too sweet.” You said, pulling away from the hug to kiss him on the cheek. He flushed and just smiled, telling you it was no big deal.

You had put the flowers in a vase and set them on the kitchen counter, and during the next few days, you couldn’t stop the smile on your face when you saw them. On Tuesday you got back from your morning class around lunch time, and walked in the flat to see Harry in a t-shirt and plaid pajama pants, baking what looked like cupcakes, and humming to some song that was playing that he had showed you about a week ago.

“Harry? Whatcha doing?” You asked, and he jumped, turning around to see you setting your bag on the counter. “Jesus,” He said your name. “Scared the living’ shit outta me. M’just baking cupcakes, felt kinda cupcakey today.” He shrugged, going back to frosting them with yellow icing. “Cupcakey?” You raised a brow at the term.

“Cupcakey.” he confirmed, giving you a dimpled grin.

You just nodded and walked up to sit on the stools the two of you had placed at the counter, facing Harry and watching him look down at the dozen cupcakes, his tounge sticking out a bit in concentration as he carefully made swirls of icing. 

“Can I try some?” You asked, sticking your finger out so he could put a dollop of icing on your finger. He looked up and nodded, doing as you expected him to before getting back to work. You looked at the untouched icing on your finger before looking back at Harry, your brain encouraging you to put it on the tip of his nose. You grinned to yourself and called his name, and as soon as he looked up you reached your finger out and wiped the icing on his nose. His eyes widened and crossed a bit as he looked down to his nose then to you. You laughed, and he thought it sounded like the most gorgeous melody in the world.

“You’re gonna regret that, love.” He said, wiping a bit of the icing off his nose but not all of it. You just laughed again, your eyes closing for a split second, and in that split second, Harry had gently pulled you off the stool and taken you back into the kitchen. “No! Please, please, I’m sorry.” You laughed, begging as he held you tight by the waist and used his other hand to hold the piping bag, slowly starting to squeeze it and holding it above your face. “Are you really? Doesn’t seem like it, pet.” He teased, the icing coming out of the cut plastic. 

You shook your head and looked up at him, spotting the icing on his nose. “Let me make it up to you.” You said, holding onto his arm that was holding the weapon of sunshine-colored icing. 

“How?” He asked, raising a brow. You leaned up and pecked his nose getting most of the icing off, before licking it off your lips quickly. He froze, and your eyes widened. He didn’t want that, you thought. As you opened your mouth to apologize he dropped the piping cone onto the counter and held your jaw with his free hand, leaning in and finally kissing you. Your lips slotted perfectly with his and he never wanted to stop. When the two of you pulled away his cheeks flushed, “I’m so sorry, I should’ve asked-”

You cut him off by kissing him once more. “It’s okay. Better than okay, actually.”

He smiled wide and kissed you once more, “M’never gonna get tired of this, Sunflower.”

[writersrealmbts]

Diamond Tears and Little Wings: Part 4

Description: You’re a fairy, taken in by BTS. You need lots of love and care, otherwise your light will fade and you turn to stone. Between the seven of them, you should never feel unloved. Right?

Warnings: N/A

Posted: 01/28/2021

Tags: bts x reader, ot7

Angst/Fluff: 4,695 words

A/N: Well it’s been forever, and you guys wouldn’t let me forget about this so it’s done, I just have to pick when to post them. Hope you enjoy this update. And Imma say this once, ao3 is going to get more regular updates than tumblr. 

You were in a cage.

It was not okay.

And they knew it too.

They were steaming mad when they saw it.

Dehumanizing.

But then, you weren’t actually human.

Jin, thankfully, was never completely kowtowed by the company. He made a good show of backing off, and pulling the other boys back to make them complacent.

Then the moment no one was paying attention he went over, pulling you out, hid you in his pocket and maybe bent the latch on the door so that it wouldn’t close properly.

He handed you off to Yoongi as soon as he could, and Yoongi hid you just in time for the staff to notice you weren’t in the cage and begin to question the others.

The boys kept slipping you to each other as they were inspected for you, but the staff never did find you, and the boys made a big deal out of them losing you.

You loved your boys.

Even if they were making you go through with this fansign appearance.

Tae made a big show of “finding” you just before they went out, then an even bigger fuss with taking you out with him instead of in a cage.

And apparently the staff knew what losing looked like, because they gave in.

So you were hiding in Taehyung’s pocket as they went out to greet their fans, with earplugs in as well as covering your poor ears because holy hell it was loud. While you waited for it to quiet down, you tried to stay completely still.

You could make out the staff explaining that you were there, requesting them to be respectful of noise since you were sound sensitive, but also that you were there because you’d gotten a fairy illness and had to be close to the boys for your health. Which you felt was pretty ironic considering they wanted to send you away if the fans didn’t accept you.

After a few events, Taehyung put his hand over the pocket you were hiding in, the signal he had told you earlier.

You took a few deep breaths, then stood, grabbing the edge of his pocket and peeking out.

No one noticed you at first, thankfully, allowing you to take in the large crowd, and the activity of the boys before you pulled yourself out of the pocket, fluttering up to his shoulder.

The fan in front of him noticed you first, eyes widening.

You squeaked as you slipped over the slope of his shoulder, grabbing the fabric so you wouldn’t fall all the way down and get squished, especially since he was so focused on the fan that he didn’t notice you falling.

You crawled back up his shirt, peering at the fan that was getting her album copy signed. She was cute.

They were all cute. But only because they loved your boys and supported your boys.

She asked something that you couldn’t make out due to the earplugs, but Taehyung grinned and looked at you on his shoulder, replying that you were shy.

You ducked back, climbing sideways until you were behind his head. Then you climbed up until you reached the collar, then his hair, giggling when he flinched ever so slightly at the feeling of you climbing into his hair. You wrinkled your nose at the stickiness from the styling products, then let go, fluttering back down to his shirt and wiping your hands off on his shirt.

A hand came over and rubbed Tae’s neck (almost squishing you, but hovering just long enough for you to get out of the way) then sort of lay out flat, inviting.

You smiled and climbed onto Jin’s hand, riding it over to him as he pretended to stretch—allowing you to hop onto his head (which had less product in it, thank goodness). You tucked yourself out of the way without messing up his hair. You made sure to be able to see everything outside.

There was definitely an increase in noise when you had been visible, but you weren’t certain whether it was due to something the boys did or because of you.

Everything was fine for a little while, then you felt Seokjin shake his head slightly. A couple seconds, or maybe minutes, later, his hand came up. Tense. Uneasy.

You stared at it, then extricated yourself and crawled on.

He passed you over to Yoongi.

Yoongi set you on the table, one finger caressing your hair. He showed you a note.

‘We had to bring you out. Stay close to us.’

You nodded, glad that he was guarding you from the sight of the fans for just a little longer, and kicked the note off of the table.

You made sure you looked okay in your little mirror, then looked up at him, nodding.

He nodded as well, hand moving away as he greeted the next fan in the line up.

You looked around, still a little overwhelmed by the crowd and the scrutiny. Finally you settled on sitting just out of the way between Yoongi and Hoseok and watching the fans pass by, noting the curious looks they gave you.

The whole situation was strange to you. It wasn’t like your presence added anything or took anything away from the event. Not in your mind. You were aware—more than aware—that your gender could be a point of criticism and unrest that could damage their careers.

But you were harmless…weren’t you?

The boys operated as though you weren’t there, focused on their fans. They were very discreet about taking care of you.

You took another deep breath, then pulled out the earplugs.

“She’s so tiny!”

“How cute!”

“Did you see her hiding in Jin’s hair?”

“Her peeking over Taehyung-oppa’s shoulder was so adorable!”

“She doesn’t belong there.”

You closed your eyes, frowning slightly at the bombardment of voices.

“She could ruin their career.”

“She’s too pretty.”

“Jimin-oppa is so handsome!”

“She better not be the kind that can change sizes.”

You wanted to hide. You knew the boys couldn’t hear the comments, their hearing wasn’t as sensitive as yours, but that didn’t mean the comments didn’t exist.

“She isn’t dressed very modestly either. I bet she’s their sl—”

“Oh my Gosh! Look at Jungkook! He’s so cute!”

“Oppa!”

You crawled over and pressed yourself against Yoongi’s elbow, overwhelmed and trying to get the earplugs back in.

His elbow moved and then his hand covered you protectively. He didn’t do anything else, just protected you while you stuffed your ears again. Lifted a finger to check on you, then removed his hand when you signaled you were okay.

You got up, looking around again, then fluttering up so you could look at the picture in the album that Yoongi had opened to.

An excellent picture of Yoongi.

You landed again, looking around, then running toward Hoseok to observe him, tripping when a sticker got stuck on your foot and shaking it to try and get it off, hopping and then falling.

You could hear Hoseok’s laugh, and he carefully picked you up, flicking the sticker off of your foot and then setting you back on the table.

He was talking more animatedly with the fan in front of him, laughing and signing the album in front of him with a genuine smile. He looked so nice when he smiled.

On his other side, Jimin was basically flirting with the fan in front of him. Goofing off, but Jimin was always showing himself. Always showing a touch of honesty in his actions. Opening himself up to things.

You worried about him, but you knew the other boys would always catch him if he fell.

They always caught each other. Supported each other, got each other to the therapist when needed, and held out until the other was well enough to continue without full support.

Where did you fit into that scheme?

You felt your wings droop. They said…they said that they cared about you, and their actions confirmed that. But did they really have time for you?

A finger poked your belly.

You looked up at Hoseok, then grabbed his finger and held onto it.

He lifted you up, peering at you with carefully veiled concern. “You okay, y/n?”

You shook your head.

He glanced at the others, then looked down the line, leaning forward and saying something to the others.

Jimin nodded, then reached over.

You glanced at Hoseok, then dropped into the waiting hand.

Jimin peeked at you, smiling momentarily, then passing you to the next waiting hand.

Jungkook took you carefully, bringing you up to his shirt pocket. “It’s okay.”

You nodded and crawled into the pocket, happy that all the boys with shirt pockets had stashed some of your blankets in them. You wrapped up, trying to calm yourself. Their preparation was just evidence of how much they cared for you. They got you houseplants and they were searching for a new dollhouse for you (you would have been happy with anything, but they were being very particular). They fed you when you couldn’t do it for yourself and took care of you when you were too floaty to do so yourself. They’d brought home dozens of flowering plants, imported different floral teas, got raw honey, brought you toys, made sure their pets didn’t eat you (you forgave Tannie, but man that was a close call), and made room in their hearts for you.

And they gave you kisses, sometimes. Jin was the most allowed to give you kisses, because his were simple and sweet and very quick. TaeTae had given you a couple pecks. Jimin didn’t dare kiss you yet after what happened last time. Hoseok was fond of placing kisses all over your face. Namjoon and Yoongi weren’t as physical with affection so you didn’t expect kisses, but Yoongi often held your hand or let you cuddle up to him. Namjoon liked sharing space with you, and often suggested books he thought you might like, it was his own sort of affection.

Then there was Jungkook.

He’d taken to carrying you around even when you were fine (you weren’t about to complain) and no matter your size.

You wrapped yourself tighter in the blanket, shivering as you battled the thoughts in your head.

Jungkook’s chest vibrated, speaking to the fans. His words weren’t clear to you, but it was lighthearted and happy.

So happy.

Did you really have any right to ruin their happiness with their fans?

But how much happiness would you be taking away if you left now?

You felt his chest move suddenly, like he had laughed or was startled or upset by something.

His fingers suddenly plucked you out of the pocket, gentle but stiff.

You winced and peeked out of the blanket, confused.

His face was tense, especially around his jaw, even though he was faking a smile.

You got the unspoken message. He was forced to pull you out. You needed to show yourself to the fans.

You huffed and wiggled out of the blanket, flying as fast as you could down the line to Namjoon, landing lightly before reaching him completely and walking the last few steps, flopping over his arm and then resting your head on your elbows, watching him interact with the fan. They seemed to be almost down with the signing part of their event.

You rode his arm as he moved it, gripping onto the sleep so you didn’t get thrown into the wall behind them.

There was an increase of noise and then both Namjoon and Taehyung were making sure you were okay.

You hopped off of his arm, sitting down cross-legged and facing the crowd. “I’ve learned my lesson.”

They definitely didn’t hear you, but both boys looked relieved that you were okay.

You sat there, observing the fans for a while. Your earplugs were great, but you could feel the rise and fall in the volume all through your body. You could feel someone bump the table, you would have those spots in front of your eyes for weeks from all of the flashing lights.

You had to make these people like you. Had to make them understand that you posed no threat to the boys. You had to show them that there was no way you could do anything that would be…detrimental to them.

It would help if you knew what those things were, though. Maybe you were detrimental to their career just by existing.

You wished, now, that the boys hadn’t divulged the fact that you were the kind that could change size. You had a feeling that it was the one thing that the fans could never get over.

Your only hope was if you could twist what they knew to be size-changing to your advantage. If you sized up, just a little. Maybe became a foot tall instead of three and a half inches, maybe they would accept that.

But that would depend on the managers insistence.

You could already feel the apologetic look Sejin was giving you.

It was enough to make you contemplate running (or flying) away. Getting as far away from that place as you could. Sparing yourself the trouble because they had already decided your fate and were just waiting for the cruel souls to confirm their judgement.

One year with a family.

That’s all you ever got.

You got up quickly and flew back down to Yoongi, staying close but out of his way. If you hadn’t thought the fans would get the wrong idea you would have just hidden under the table. You could easily evade all attempts you pull out out down there.

As it was, you amused yourself by making some of the stickers float and then stealing one of the extra pens (which was definitely bigger than you and you definitely used pixie dust on it) and finding something to write on—which someone provided in the back of a spare picture they had.

You set up a tic-tac-toe game on the back in one corner and pushed it up to the edge of the table, putting an O in the center and waiting for the next fan. Holding out the pen to her.

She blinked at you, eyes wide when she finally noticed, then she carefully took the pen and added an X before continuing to Seokjin.

You contemplated the thing, then added another O, nodding and waiting for the next fan that would acknowledge your existence.

Which was about three fans later.

It ended up a tie, and you started a new one, but ran out of their fans before the game could be completed.

You pouted a bit, but then the pen was being taken from behind.

You quickly released it and turned to see who was the perpetrator, only to see Yoongi peering at the tic-tac-toe game and then lightly brushing you aside so that he could make a move.

You bounced happily and put in an O, watching his fingers carefully as he debated where to put his X, then fluttering up in glee as he put it exactly where you wanted it. You had this game in the bag. Now, no matter where he put his X, you would still get three in a row.

The volume rose as you did a little victory dance, having thoroughly beat him.

You scurried over to Yoongi’s arm and hid behind it because what just happened.

He shook slightly, like he was laughing, as he picked you up carefully. He was grinning, and definitely laughing.

You tilted your head, curious about what was so funny, but not daring to take out the earplug.

Hoseok reached over and gently poked your head, also laughing.

Seokjin was talking into the microphone to the fans, standing up with the others.

Was the event almost over? Was that too good to be true?

Yoongi leaned in closer. “Go back to Taehyung’s pocket,” He told you, just loud enough for you to hear with the earplugs, but you also mostly read his lips because it was sound and vibrations and your mind’s translation of it was a little hazy, but his lips were clear.

You nodded, getting up and running off of his hand, flying straight for Taehyung, landing on his should and then sliding down his shirt and into the pocket—quickly burying yourself under the blankets instead of in them since that backfired earlier.

Tae patted the pocket once, then was busy talking and moving and maybe hiding in his pocket had been a poor life choice.

But his hand went over the pocket you were in, covering it in a very protective gesture.

You shrunk more, to maybe an inch, to try and escape what would happen next.

Tae’s breathing was slightly hasty, like he was trying hard not to lose control.

You teared up, but quickly tried to dash your tears away. You couldn’t cry in public. The boys had been very adamant on that, and worried, they said it would be dangerous for you if you did.

His hand moved away from the pocket slowly, then one of his fingers came in, simply waiting. A simple request that he knew you wouldn’t want to acquiesce.

You took a deep breath, then wrapped around the tip of his finger.

He carefully pulled you out, eyes wide at how tiny you were.

The other boys looked just as surprised and alarmed—all trying so hard to hide their emotions from the fans and pretend everything was peachy.

Tae looked up and then leaned over to talk into the microphone Jimin was holding, telling them something about being right back. Then he hurried back-stage and seemed to usher the staff away.

You grew back to your normal pixie height, looking up at him desperately.

He signaled for you to take the ear-plugs out.

You did, slowly.

“Little Wing…I know you don’t like it, and I know you know that we don’t like it…but they’re insisting that you show our fans your full size. You can change size back here…but….”

You looked down at his palm, then nodded.

He waited patiently as you calmed yourself a little and then changed sized, but with as small and scared as you were feeling you couldn’t get as big as you normally would. Your chin came just above his belly-button.

His hand softly stroked your hair. “I know how stressful this is.”

You met his gaze. “No matter what happens, they’re sending me away.”

His face became anguished, and he closed his eyes as though to regain some of his composure, pulling you into a loose hug. “We’ll turn the world upside down before we give up on you.”

You took a shaky breath and did your best to grow the last bit to your height, but you only managed a couple inches.

Tae kissed your forehead. “Come on, this is good enough.”

You hugged his arm, keeping on the side that would keep him in between you and the fans, absolutely petrified as he led you back out in front of the crowd. Doing your best to still hide because you didn’t like this one bit.

It got scarily quiet.

“Army, this is Y/n,” Jimin said in a soft tone, coming over to you. “She’s really shy, so this is a lot for her. She doesn’t like being in her big form in front of strangers.”

Jungkook rested a hand on your shoulder, giving it a very gently squeeze.

“Y/n, can you say something to Army?” Namjoon asked.

You couldn’t even breath, pinpointing every glare sent your way, and quickly shook your head, rapidly shrinking.

Jungkook scooped you up when you were the size of a toddler, holding onto you firmly. “Do you want to ride on my back?”

You nodded.

He set you on the table and turned around, letting you latch on and then changing the topic to something else like you weren’t hiding by hanging onto his back.

You started to panic when someone grabbed you, but then noticed it was Sejin, and let him take you back-stage. You finally relaxed a bit when you were in the waiting room back-stage and Sejin had shooed all of the staff from the room.

You found one of the boys sweatshirts and wiggled into it, cocooning yourself in the ultra-long sleeves and extra fabric and then curling into a ball on the couch.

You woke again when you were being carried, recognizing the comforting “shh” as Jimin’s and letting yourself drift off a little, barely recognizing that you had been brought into a vehicle.

Namjoon was cradling you when you woke up fully, back at the house. His hair looked freshly dried, and he was dressed in comfy clothing.

The other boys were slowly filtering back to the living room with food and drinks, all freshly showered.

Namjoon tightened his hold on you when he saw you were awake. “Hey, baby.”

You rubbed your eyes. “Hey. How long was I asleep?”

“Four hours,” Hoseok answered, plopping a kiss onto your forehead after moving the hood of the sweatshirt.

Your eyes widened slightly, but were too tired to do much more than that. “So we’ve already been back to the office and then home?”

Yoongi nodded. “It’s no wonder you slept, that was a highly stressful situation for you.

Hoseok didn't look happy. “What were they thinking, forcing you to size up like that? Forcing you into a situation like that?”

“Probably something along the lines of ‘oh, how convenient, a way to get rid of the annoying fairy that we only got them for good publicity’,” You answered.

All the boys looked angry after that.

You shrugged, unwrapping yourself and then sizing up some more, about the size you were earlier. “You know it’s true. Don’t tell me you don’t. The whole point of this is to get rid of me.”

“Why?!” Jimin snapped. “Why would they want to get rid of you? Things were fine!”

You looked up and met Namjoon’s troubled gaze. “The v-live you boys had. The night Jimin kissed me and I got loopy. Someone told the viewers that I could change size.”

Namjoon’s eyes widened slightly, and his jaw set in frustration. “Which makes it scandalous for you to be living with us.”

Yoongi looked like he might be sick. “I said it. Why did I say it?”

Jin rested a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it.

“It’s not your fault. It would have come out at some point or other,” You told them. “But it’s also because I do distract all of you. I’m a liability on many fronts. I have no doubt that they’re already arranging everything regarding me being taken away.”

Namjoon gently set you on the seat beside him, reaching for a bag beside the couch, not at all surprised while the others still seemed like they were processing it.

You waited, wondering what he had in the bag, but mostly waiting for the other boys to be ready for the rest of the conversation you knew had to happen. It was obvious, now that you looked back, that the staff were preparing to get rid of you.

“I got something for all of us. Had them made, actually,” Namjoon said quietly. “I was afraid that something like this might happen.”

That seemed to get the boys attention.

Namjoon pulled out little gift-boxes. Eight of them. Each one was carefully marked, but you weren’t sure what the marks meant. But he did, handing them out to each of you.

You held your box nervously.

“I wanted each of us to have something, to remind you that we love you, y/n. Especially when we’re busy with shows and tours. Because we already know you love us, and nothing could make us forget that.”

You opened the box, revealing a simple bracelet, with two inset diamond tears. Both microscopically engraved with itty bitty words that you couldn’t make out, only visible to you because, well, you were magic.

Namjoon grabbed his phone, turning on the flashlight and pulling the bracelet so the diamonds were over the light, projecting it onto the ceiling.

It had all of their names, and yours, and it said that they loved you forever. And it also had the BTS symbol with fairy wings in them.

You stared up at the ceiling in awe, then carefully took the bracelet. It was made of a magical material, one that would shrink and grow with you unlike most other metals. “This is fairy-made.”

He nodded, looking a little sheepish. “I figured with your tears it was best to go to a fairy for this work.”

You quickly looked around the room.

Tae had a similar bracelet to yours, that he was examining with tear-filled eyes.

Yoongi had a ring with black metal, and was already wearing it.

Jimin and Jin had a necklaces, both different than each other’s.

Hoseok had a different style of bracelet.

Namjoon had a ring that he was playing with, made with a lighter metal than Yoongi’s.

Jungkook had earrings, a stud and a dangling earring, and he was already switching them out.

Everyone was quiet, most of the boys staring at their gift and looking upset in some way.

“When they remove me…because this was a better home for me…my best home…they’ll have to lock away the memories. I’ll be able to keep my things, and the memories can be recovered, but unless I’m in a situation where I am as loved, or more loved, and equally as happy…I would need to return to you all if I remembered.” You carefully put on the bracelet. “It’s a hard process. And they’ll probably send me somewhere else, somewhere I won’t be…as likely to find you, or vice versa.

“Like a different city?” Jimin asked.

“Like a different country. It happens a lot. Fairies can speak whatever language they need.” You shrugged, not looking at them. Not able to bear their heartache as well as your own.

“We’ll find you. Doesn’t matter where you are in the world. We’ll find you,” Jungkook said quietly.

It was quiet again after that.

Then Jin cleared his throat. “Jungkook, help me pull the mattresses in here.”

They all got up to do something, whether it was helping Jin and Jungkook create a giant bed in the living room or getting ready for bed, or just trying to calm themselves by pretending to do something.

Tae was the first to come back to you, cuddling with you on the couch, comparing the bracelets. “I’m glad mine matches yours, but I wonder why hyung did that.”

You peeked up at him. “You were the one who found me.”

His eyes filled, and he leaned down, pressing a gentle kiss to your lips that you melted into.

Then the two of you stayed cuddled up while Hoseok directed the madness of making the bed.

Yoongi came over and cupped your face in his hands. “You know we’re not letting you go without a fight, right?”

You nodded, closing your eyes as he kissed your forehead—opening them when he softly kissed your lips.

Then you were cuddling up with all seven boys on the bed, trying not to cry because your mind kept saying, ‘This might be the last time��.

And Jimin’s shirt would definitely be ruined by your tears solidifying in his shirt, but you knew he wouldn’t complain as long as you didn’t mention his tears to the others.

Even Namjoon was crying, though, so you doubted any teasing would be happening.

Hoseok and Jin left, Hoseok’s sobs echoing down the hallway before they locked themselves in one of the rooms.

Yoongi sniffled and squeezed your hand.

Jungkook’s sniffles turned into snores.

And as you fell asleep, you felt the way Taehyung’s breaths shook his body, gently pressed against your back and wings.

–

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Masterlist  -  ot7 Masterpost

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[neo-culture-taste]

Abeilles au Printemps - Ch 9

Alternate Title: Bees in Spring  

Genre: AU, romance, drama, comedy, smut, who’s the daddy

Pairing: NCT x Y/N (fem)

Rating: Mostly mature themes/ language. Smutty chapters will be labeled 🐝.

Word Count: 11500+

For other chapters, see the masterlist.

OMFG. I can’t believe it has been an entire year since we posted the last chapter. 2020 was truly a mess, lmao. We’re SO sorry we made you wait that long! We had everything written and then we started adding and changing stuff to the point where we had to rewrite the entire thing. But it’s here now! And you’re in for a WILD ride. - D

“So is this how the rich and famous live?” commented Yuta as he drove down the wide street, passing various mansions in the neighborhood. “I bet there's a pool in every backyard and everyone owns their own boat.”

“Probably,” you responded weakly. You were too busy trying to pull the skin off from the sides of your fingers. A nasty habit you had since you were younger, which only manifested when you were extremely anxious. You had no reason to be stressed, right? Jaehyun would explain everything and everything would be fine, wouldn’t it?

You motioned for Yuta to make a right at the stop sign. “Are we leaving the neighborhood?” he asked you.

“No, not really,” you answered, forcing yourself to put your hands at your sides so you wouldn't pick at them anymore. “He just owns more land than his neighbors. He likes his privacy.”

“I completely understand. That’s how I would be if I had all this money. I’d even have my own little pond of ducks,” he joked. “They’d be free to walk the grounds and they’d just add to the beautiful and serene scenery that I would curate for my land.”

You rolled your eyes at Yuta before sitting up straighter in your seat. “Speaking of ducks, drive slowly and don’t run over Quackers and Mr. Bill.” Right as you said that, two ducks waddled in front of Yuta’s car, making their way through the iron gates to their pond on the other side. 

“He actually has ducks?!”

“Per my request, yes. Our evening walks at the park during the early part of my pregnancy also consisted of feeding the ducks. I enjoyed it so much I joked about him making a pond and having ducks of his own.”

“And so he dug a hole in his yard and purchased you two feathered creatures?!”

You slouched back into your seat. “Five, actually. The other three should be around here somewhere. They came with the ring, the beautiful nursery, and the wall he tore down for my walk in closet.”

Yuta almost slammed on his breaks in shock. “The wall he--Woah, wait he already built you a nursery?”

Sighing heavily, you turned your head to look forlornly at the swaying motion of Mr. Bill's feathery butt as he walked into the distance. “Yeah…”

“And now you want to barge in this man’s house and accuse him of what exactly?” he asked as he pulled to a smooth stop right outside the Jung estate gate. “You said you’d explain on the way, but you haven’t breathed a single word.”

Well, you were confronting Jaehyun about Mark being arrested for a car that supposedly belonged to Jaehyun and not his cousin Taeil being reported stolen, secret photos following the every move of you and your male friends since earlier that day, and the relationship between those photographs and those of Kun cheating while overseas. There was no way you could explain any of that to Yuta in the short amount of time you had between now and seeing Jaehyun.

“It’s complicated,” was all you told him.

“Tch. Complicated,” Yuta clicked his tongue. “You have a giant envelope of evidence you’ve been trying to hide from view since I picked you up. I’m a lawyer, too, remember?” 

“Yuta, please.”

“Let me be a voice of reason before you do something you’ll regret." Yuta rested his chin in his palm as he propped his elbow onto his armrest. "You just became his fiancée only what? A week ago?  There’s probably a logical explanation--”

“Thanks for the concern Yuta, but I have to do this if I want to stay engaged.”

Yuta ran a hand through his hair and took a deep breath, and he drummed his fingers of his other hand on the steering wheel while he thought. “I won’t say anything more. But just promise me you’ll be careful. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t hesitate to do." 

Ha! You couldn't hold back the chuckle that escaped you. You leaned over to kiss Yuta on the cheek and gave him a somewhat reassuring smile. “This just might be the day that I do.”

His brows furrowed. “Should I call the cops?” he responded with evident concern in his voice.

You rolled your eyes and proceeded to fish for Jaehyun’s electronic gate key out of your pants pocket. But then...your attention quickly turned to the large iron gate slowly opening on its own. 

“I thought this was supposed to be a surprise mission?” Yuta lifted himself away from the armrest and took his foot off the break, then proceeded to pull through the gate towards the front of the mansion. 

“It is. I didn’t call beforehand. He is obviously watching us on the monitor in his kitchen. Fucking creep.”

“Y/N! That’s your fiancé you’re talking about!”

You shook your head. “He has to be guilty of something since he’s not coming outside to greet me.”

“Right...” Yuta pulled into the circular driveway in front of the mansion and put the car in park. There was only one other car in the circular driveway and you recognized it to be the same make and model of Jeno’s car. He must have driven straight there after dropping Mark off at your place. No telling what conversations were being had within those walls. You imagined how lucky Mark had been to have Jeno in the right place at the right time after he was pulled over by the police. Was it a coincidence or was it on purpose? 

Theories continued to fill your head as your eyes shifted, and they ultimately landed on Jeno’s license plate. “That’s…” You rummaged through your envelope and pulled out the photo of Kun and examined the sticky note attached to it. Doyoung’s scribbles matched the license plate in front of you. “Oh my--“

“Woah, who’s the hot chick with Kun?” Blurted Yuta as he snatched the photo out of your trembling hands. 

“Give it back, Yuta!” You screeched in desperation. You tried to grab it from him but he pulled it out of your reach and batted your hands away.

“Where is he, at a resort?” You tried to grab it once more but he swatted you away again. “Why is Yangyang taking photos of this no name?” 

"Yuta!" And he blocked you again. 

“Why does this sticky note say ‘you don’t know who else he’s watching?'” 

"Please!" And again. 

“With a license plate number that matches the car in front--” You finally succeeded in snatching the photo from his grip and put it back inside the envelope, then let out a heavy breath, thankful that Yuta had only seen the picture of Kun and not the one with him and his son at the ER. “Y/N you need to tell me what’s going on,” Yuta demanded. “I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but I’m starting to get an idea of what’s happening and I really hope I'm wrong.” You started to ask about his assumptions but decided not to, because you were too afraid to get confirmation for your own thoughts. “But if I’m not,” Yuta continued, “do you want me to come in with you? I won’t say anything, but I’ll be there to support you in this apparent kerfuffle you’re about to have with Jaehyun.” And fight him if he had to. Yuta didn’t care how much Jaehyun's face was worth if he ended up hurting you in any way.

You took a deep breath and shook your head. “No. I have to do this alone. But you can help this pregnant lady out of your car.”

“Suit yourself.” Yuta got out and went around to help you out of his car and straighten you onto your feet. 

“Please just stay here. If I’m not out in exactly twenty minutes come and get me?”

“You’re asking me?” No, you weren’t. The inflection at the end of your sentence was because you had just realized how unprepared you were to confront Jaehyun. You were still in your pajamas for crying out loud. All the tension had built up on the way there, and all the questions you had for him began to mix with your feelings for him. You weren’t exactly sure how you were going to pull this off without breaking down.

“No. I’m telling you,” you corrected Yuta.

“Understood.”

Yuta helped you walk up the front steps before turning around and walking back to his car. You tugged on the doorknob and, like you figured, it was unlocked. You slowly opened the door and shut it behind you. The chilly air of the beautifully decorated foyer ran down your spine and left behind a trail of prickly ice crystals. It was eerily quiet. You took a left towards the kitchen and ran your hands across the granite countertop. The same countertop where the homemade cookies he made for you sat on the night you had welcomed him back home. You continued walking and stepped into the living room where the two of you made love countless times on his ridiculously expensive furniture. 

Deciding not to continue searching on the first floor, you made your way to his staircase. The last time you walked up those stairs was the day of your baby shower--the day he proposed to you and presented you with a fully furnished nursery, a broken wall, and some gotdamn ducks. You were afraid of what would be waiting for you inside that room this time. 

“Okay, little bee. Hold on tight.” You patted your stomach before you gripped the railing, ready to start your ascent. But you hadn’t made it two steps up when Jeno suddenly came flying down the stairs. 

“Hey, Ms. Y/N!” He seemed to be in a rush and didn’t even stop to properly greet you. “It’s nice seeing you again.”

“Where’s Jaehyun?” you managed to ask the young man before he made himself scarce.

He stopped in his haste and turned around to face you. “My former employer is in the nursery as you probably already guessed,” he informed you frantically.

You were more than taken aback by his choice of words. “Former employer? Wait, Jeno, what happened?”

“I have to go. The moving van will be here bright and early in the morning, so I have to make sure everything is packed and ready to be moved out of the pool house.”

“He fired you? And kicked you out--”

“I have to go, ma’am. I’m sorry it all had to come down to this. I really enjoyed having you as an acquaintance the past few years. And I’m really sorry about Mark. He wasn’t supposed to get mixed into all of this.”

“Mixed into what, Jeno?” You gripped his arm, stopping him from fleeing your presence. “Please, I have to know.”

Jeno looked you in the eyes and clearly saw the desperation he had already picked up in your voice. Guiltily, he averted his gaze downward, but he suddenly stopped breathing when his eyes landed on the envelope you were holding at your side. He didn't know exactly what was inside your envelope, but he had a pretty strong idea. “I have to go. Please send my love to the baby,” he said and pulled his arm out of your grasp, continuing his hasty retreat through the house. 

You took a deep breath and continued the ascent towards the second floor with more determination in your steps. Reaching the top of the staircase, you turned and walked toward the nursery. The door was slightly ajar, a sliver of light peeking through. You put your hand on the doorknob before readjusting your posture and reclaiming your confidence. You opened the door only to be greeted by...no one. Confused and thankful nothing jumped out to scare you, you turned every which way until you were dizzy, thinking you had somehow missed the six foot man in the beautifuly decorated nursery.

“Jaehyun?” You called out but there was no reply. You walked further into the room towards the crib. You braced yourself along the railing, the smoothness reminding you that Jaehyun built this himself with his own two hands. Two hands attached to a warm body that also proposed and promised you a lifetime of happiness. You should feel happy in this room like you did a week ago. But now you felt different. Off. “What is wrong with me?”

What were you there for exactly? What were you trying to accuse him of? What you were thinking he did could all have been something your mind made up because you were actually too scared to finally settle down and commit to someone. It was entirely plausible. You did this in all your relationships. You ran away from Taeil, from Doyoung, Taeyong, and Kun. Jaehyun wasn't special. The only thing he did differently was propose to you before you could escape. But you actually truly did want to stay this time. And maybe that was why you were so afraid. You were afraid of finding out something you actually had to run away from.

Tired of being in your thoughts and standing on your increasingly aching feet, you called out for him. “Jaehyun, we need to talk--“

“Let’s talk.” 

Startled, you dropped the envelope inside the crib before turning to face your fiancé in the doorway with a rod in his hand adorned with bumblebee patterned curtains. He was wearing a fitted, plain black t-shirt— one of several in his closet, jeans and canvas sneakers. Damn, he looked good. Simple, but so good. And you looked like a mess of a creature before him in your pajamas, house slippers, and wild bed hair. 

“Hey, what’s going on?” he asked after taking in your tousled appearance. “What are you doing here? Did Jeno let you in?” He placed the rod against the wall before walking up to you and grabbing your hands in his. He led you to the rocking chair, ushering you to sit while he crouched down in front of you. “Today has been very weird. First I had to pick you up from the emergency room. Then the release of my new movie was delayed by the studio. Jeno suddenly quit. And now you're here out of nowhere. Not that you being here is strange or anything. I love your company—wait did you drive here? Didn’t the doctor say—“

“Jeno quit?” you interrupted his rambling. “You didn’t fire him?” With the way Jeno ran down the stairs, you were pretty sure he was running away from something--or someone. But Jaehyun’s features gave off a look of concern and slight offense that you would think he’d fire Jeno for any possible reason. 

“No, he quit on his own. He said the stress of being my assistant was finally starting to weigh him down. I guess having to deal with your brother getting arrested wasn't exactly something he wanted to experience.”

At the mention of your brother's name, you remembered exactly why you were there in Jaehyun's home in the first place. “Why did you have my brother arrested? And why didn’t you let him call me from the police station? I may be pregnant, but Mark is still my brother. Not yours. I could have handled the situation.”

Jaehyun cupped your face in an attempt to calm the rising anger he could see wanting to boil up inside you. “I was going to go over to your place, actually. Sit down face to face and explain how Mark got involved in this silly feud between my cousin and I. But my agent called to give me ‘bad news’ and then Jeno came shortly after giving me his less than 24-hour notice.”

“I should have been a higher priority, Jaehyun. I’m your fiancée!” You all but screamed in your heightening temper and pushed his hands away from your face. That probably sounded selfish on your end, but considering your reason for showing up to his house unannounced, it needed to be said. You hadn’t planned on blowing your top so quickly, but every thought inside your mind was racing, making it hard for you to stay level.

His hands went down and gripped the armrests of the rocking chair. “I know and I’m sorry. But you’re here now, so please let me explain.” You didn’t want to hear anything he had to say. You just wanted him to admit whatever your brain was accusing him of so you could leave and be heartbroken alone in your bedroom. But of course you said okay, anyway, since you literally had no other choice but to listen to him. “I truly did not know Mark was borrowing cars from Taeil. If I had known that information beforehand, I would never have put him or Taeil in that position. Mark was simply an unexpected factor in this ongoing tit for tat game of family rivalry.”

“Ongoing?” After he proposed to you, Jaehyun had promised you that he would talk to his cousin about everything. So why was this beef over you between the cousins still unsquashed? “Jae, what does that even mean if you were the one who bought him the cars in the first place?”

“It means that my cousin is a leech and I finance him in order to keep him functioning.” Your eyes went wide, but you didn’t say anything so he continued. “Taeil’s weak attempt to separate us with his words spoken at the baby shower did not sit right with me. So since he decided to bite the hand that literally feeds him, I felt petty and decided to report both my vehicles that I allow him to drive as stolen.” 

Petty? There was nothing petty about that at all! It was straight up mean! Almost cruel! How could Jaehyun do that to his own cousin--his family? He wasn’t unprovoked, but nothing Taeil did or said deserved for him to get thrown in jail.

“How could you do that to a member of your own family, Jaehyun? If you were to get mad at me, would you do something like that, too?” Your mind had already wanted to make him out to be a bad person if it would help you confront him, but there he was convincing you himself. 

“What? Y/N, no! Please don’t make this more than what it is,” he pleaded, squeezing the armrests tighter. “Taeil and I have our issues, and I know I went too far. But I would never hurt you like that.” You didn't want to believe him, but the sincerity in his eyes instantly calmed you against your will. “In hindsight it was not the right thing to do. I admit it. But I truly didn’t know Mark was using the cars and had been for some time apparently. And if Mark needs a car, why didn’t you just tell me? I have plenty he could borrow. They’re all nicer than what Taeil was rolling around in anyway.”

Your eyes narrowed, the brief reassurance you felt from him fleeting at his flippant remark. “Mark and Taeil have had a relationship with one another since way before you came into the picture,” you snapped. “Taeil knew Mark when he was still in diapers. He looks up to Taeil like an older brother. Whenever Mark needs brotherly advice, Taeil is always there to lead or guide him. I was happy their relationship picked back up once Taeil moved back here. He’s done more for my little brother than anyone else has. And to think that you almost put that in jeopardy.”

Seemingly having touched a nerve, Jaehyun's nostrils flared slightly when he sighed. “I apologize, Y/N. I really am sorry. The charges were dropped and Mark has nothing on his record.” Your eyes followed his hands as he let go of the armrests and reconnected them with yours. “I promise I will make it up to Mark. And you. We can move on from this.”

Move on from this? Like it was just that simple? Your brother was handcuffed and thrown into the back of a cop car for no reason. It was something totally preventable if Jaehyun hadn’t been an asshole in the first place. And even if he had known Mark was driving the cars, he would have just put a report out on a day he knew Taeil was driving one of them. It would have been easy for him to figure out. Taeil wasn’t that hard to follow.

To follow…

Your eyes quickly shot back up to meet his, startling him back a bit. The words you spoke next came out in a sizzling string, climbing their way out from being forced into the dark corners of your mind. “I find it really hard to believe that you had no knowledge of Taeil letting Mark borrow the cars when you seem to keep tabs on everyone else connected to me.”

You hadn’t wanted to outright accuse him like that in case you were wrong about everything, but the anger growing inside you had finally taken over. You couldn’t take it back. And now the thread that held together your relationship with your fiancé was being tested.

Jaehyun’s mouth opened and closed in shock as his eyes flickered with confusion and something else you couldn’t quite place. You wanted to say it was fear. “What is that supposed to mean?” he asked, his tone a cross between offended and worried.

You stood up from the rocking chair, pushing him out of the way to move towards the crib. You retrieved the envelope you dropped inside of it and shoved it into his hands. Standing to his feet, he looked at the envelope like it was an unidentified object never before seen on planet earth. And then his eyes went blank.

He walked over to the other side of the room and simply placed the envelope on the fully stocked bookshelf without any attempt to open it. Aghast, your eyebrows went high into your hairline. “So you’re just not going to open it?”

“Yes,” he said too simply.

Your fists balled at your sides. “And why not?”

“Don’t need to see what I already know is in there.”

You hiccuped. A premature sob getting stuck inside your throat.

“Didn’t think it would show up again after Jeno lost it.”

The room was spinning. You needed to grab onto the railing of the crib for support. Jeno? No, you had received the envelope from Doyoung who had supposedly received it from Winwin. Wait! Was that why Jeno’s eyes grew wide when he looked at it on the staircase? Was this the reason he quit his job so suddenly? Nothing was adding up. “H-how do you know the contents belong to Jeno?” you asked, trying to keep your voice steady.

“Are there photos of Kun and some random woman in there?”

“Yes,” you answered him shakily.

“Jeno’s photos.”

Eyes glazed over, you stared at your fiancé standing across from you as your train of thought went back to the dark edges of your mind. For a moment you felt weak, and you thought your legs were going to give out beneath you. Jaehyun had thought the same thing, for he was at your side in an instant with a hand on your back, coaxing you to sit back down in the rocking chair.

“No. I’m standing,” you said firmly, your strength returning with full force, reignited by his audacity to touch you right now. You jerked away from him and walked over to the bookshelf. You aggressively grabbed the envelope off it and opened it before him. You held up the photos of Kun and the woman before throwing them down onto the floor. You pulled out the rest of the photos taken earlier today and threw those down as well before balling up the entire envelope in your hands. “Make this make sense, Jaehyun. Make it all make sense!” you yelled at him then threw the wad of paper at his chest, where it bounced off and unceremoniously landed at his feet.

Unflinching, he swallowed thickly as he studied the contents of the envelope on the floor. “The envelope did feel a bit thick. I now see why Jeno quit so suddenly.”

Jeno, Jeno, Jeno! Why did this all keep going back to Jeno? “What are you saying,” you demanded slowly.

“He was sloppy. Or careless. Maybe he did it on purpose.” He toed one of the photos on the floor that had been facing downwards and turned it over with his shoe. “I see he had these taken today. They never crossed my desk, but somehow ended up in your hands. You were never supposed to see them.”

Your throat became tight and you felt tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. Involuntarily, you sat back down onto the rocking chair as your body betrayed you. You were weak. You could no longer stand because he had just admitted it in less than so many words. It wasn’t a complete confession, but it was all you needed to confirm what you desperately didn’t want to believe. You didn’t like the sound of where any of this was going, but you still wanted him to continue, to say he had a perfectly good and logical explanation for why Jeno would have all of those photos taken. But you couldn’t say anything, not immediately. You were rendered speechless by the truth you so hopelessly wanted to deny.

“Jaehyun,” you said barely above a whisper. “I’m going to need a little more than that.” He looked at you, his eyes soft with the unspoken words he saw mirrored inside your own--with the fear of knowing how this was going to end. “If you don't want to start with the ones from today,” you continued, “then start with Kun. Just tell me something.”

He took a breath and ran his hands through his hair. A gesture that forewarned he was about to unload a massive amount of unpleasant information. “Kun didn’t deserve you. He only appeared to be faithful to you," he said when he began. But of course, this was something you already knew--facts already revealed to the both of you outside of Ten's clinic the day of the paternity tests. "The woman in the photo was a fling from his past," he continued. "They started hooking up again towards the tail end of your relationship.”

A fling from Kun's past? You knew Kun had been in other relationships before you, but the two of you made a point never to bring up past relationships while you were together. You didn't want to talk about your exes for obvious reasons, but what reasons did Kun have? From what you knew, Kun refused to be stuck in the past and always looked at what was in front of him--who was in front of him. But then again, what did you actually know about Kun other than what he showed you on the surface? 

“And you became privy to this information how?” you asked Jaehyun. Obviously he had known for some time before the paternity testing since he was able to orchestrate having Kun's pictures taken.

“Remember our conference call last year when I asked you to review my contracts for the scripted series?”

“Yes.” 

“Well Jeno caught sight of Kun dropping you off in front of your office building that same day he brought over the contracts. A kiss on the lips between the two of you and he figured you were an item.”

A deep frown set into your face and your head tilted to the side in bafflement. In your head, you put together what Jaehyun had said and what you already knew and came up with your own conclusion. “So Jeno told you that I had a boyfriend, you became insanely jealous, and then decided to start following Kun around, waiting for a perfect moment to expose him as unfaithful?” 

“Not exactly." He took note of your skepticism denoted by your stance and quirked eyebrow. “I was happy you found someone. I figured the moments we shared before I left was the extent of our friendship and physical relationship. Especially since we hadn’t decided on if we were a 'we'. I truly was glad you found someone to be with," he reiterated his first statement while continuing to look straight into your eyes. "I was a little sad when I found out, but I knew that I should have worked harder to be with you or just have you wait for me. I had come to terms with losing you. I was going to move on. But then Jeno went for his regularly scheduled dental appointment and coincidentally his dentist that day was Dr. Qian.”

“You’re lying,” you said before your brain fully caught up with what was going on. It was too good to be true--too easy. Did he actually think you were going to fall for that? There was no way Kun could have fallen into Jaehyun’s hands so easily. 

“I really wish I was. Jeno usually sees the other dentist that works with Kun, but that day his partner was out and Kun was in charge of all the clients.” 

You were suspicious of his answer, but you remained silent with confirmation that you wanted him to continue given by your facial expression.

“Jeno, being the diligent assistant that he was, prodded for information regarding your relationship--without me knowing about any of this yet, I might add. But when Kun told him about the hot date with his girlfriend that same night, imagine his surprise when Kun named a woman that wasn’t you.”

Heat radiated through your body once more as you processed his words. “If you knew about him, then why did you keep that from me, Jaehyun? I could have gotten out of that relationship a long time ago!” The volume of your voice raised with every word. You couldn't fathom why he would do that to you. Everything that happened up until now could have been avoided had he just told you when he found out. But instead, purposefully or not, he wronged you by keeping it a secret.

“I had every intention of telling you," he said, holding his arms open in surrender. "I just didn’t know how to do it. If I told you then, you would have accused me of snooping like you are now. Or you would have gotten mad at me and said I was trying to come between your relationship or something, like lying to win you over. And you seemed happy with him, so why would I ruin that for you? I was stuck between multiple options.” He let his hands fall back to his sides in exasperation.

“So instead of telling me, you decided to take matters upon yourself anyway and have the man followed by your henchman, Jeno and Yangyang, all the way to his fake convention tour?” you interrogated him. Jaehyun finally broke the eye contact he held with you by looking down at the floor and rubbed his neck. The guilt etched onto his face was not being masked one bit. Frustrated by his behavior, you reached out to him and yanked him closer to where you sat by his other hand. “Talk, dammit.”

He sighed and forced himself to look at you again, and swallowed thickly before continuing. “It was actually...an all expense paid vacation purchased by me.” 

You let go of his hand, stunned into silence as your breath caught in your throat. Your eyes held so much anguish and disgust. Disgust directed at him. It pained him to see it--to acknowledge that he was the one to make you look at him that way. He knew he had royally fucked up everything he was trying to build with you, and the only thing he could do in this situation that he caused was to completely come clean. “I figured that if I sent Kun away, I could come home and tell you everything I found out about him. And when you decided to leave him--”

“You would already be there to put my broken heart back together,” you finished for him. There was no point in sugar coating it, but it sounded so much harsher when you said it out loud. His face flushed with shame. He looked so sorry--so pitifully guilty. You had every impulse to get up and slap him right then, but you didn’t. Instead, you let yourself speak freely. “That was your master plan? To set Kun up so you could swoop in and fix me like I’m some kind of broken object?”

“No, Y/N, I--”

“I can’t believe you of all people would do this, Jaehyun.”

“I didn’t do it alone,” he disclosed in a panicked attempt to deflect some of the blame.

You wanted to slap him again for even trying. “Yeah, Jeno. I’m sure he did a lot following your orders--”

“It was Winwin, too. It was his idea.”

You frowned, confused. You had momentarily forgotten that Winwin was involved with all of this. It was his idea? That would explain the way he acted in court earlier that day. And you did recall Winwin saying that he was the one who sent Kun on the fake trip. Now that you thought about it, what Winwin had said in court sounded a lot like what Jaehyun had just told you. But how? You had only met Winwin when you began dating Kun. Which meant…

“How long have you known Winwin?”

Jaehyun took another deep breath. He seemed to do that everytime he was about to hit you with more unpleasant information. “Winwin was my assistant before Jeno. Before I met you. He quit because he couldn’t handle the job anymore. He ended up becoming a travel agent because that was all he could find. We’re still friends and we met up from time to time. I told him about you one day. About us. That I wanted us to be serious. And when I told him your name, he said he already knew you and that he already knew about Kun. So, I elicited his help and together we sent Kun on that phony trip.”

No thoughts. Head Empty. 

He already knew Winwin before you ever met either of them? The two of them were close enough with each other and became close enough to you to come up with this ridiculous plan to blackmail Kun? It was a really dumb way to avenge your honor. And you couldn’t tell if you were mad or happy after hearing all of what they did. You were...conflicted. Very. Conflicted.

“I..this explains a lot and so little at the same time,” you managed to say coming out of your stupor. “I would have never guessed the two of you were once friends. The way you hid it from me...wow. Did you give Winwin acting advice?” you asked him bitterly.

“We never stopped being friends. He was willing to expose what type of man Kun really was so he played along as best as he could. We both thought we were doing the right thing. We just went about it in the wrong way. I’m really sorry, Y/N.” He looked at your hand, wanting so badly to reach out and hold it, but he knew you wouldn’t let him touch you right now. So instead he turned around and faced the wall on the opposite side of the room as he continued trying to exonerate himself. “In hindsight I should have just called you and told you. Whatever your decision would have been I would have supported it and moved on.” He walked toward the wall he was facing and placed his hand against it to support himself through his speech. “I truly thought I was doing the right thing. If I hadn’t screwed up the timing then my blackmail plot would have worked, haha...” He laughed after he said it, but there was no feeling in it whatsoever. “But then again it wouldn’t have mattered. I let Kun extend his vacation for a whole month with plans of getting back to you as quickly as I could so I could tell you all of this. I just needed him away from you for as long as possible so you would forget him by the time I came home.” He turned back around to face you. “But I was two months too late and already sixth in line. I didn’t think I would need to compete with any of the other guys for your heart.”

Sixth in line.

Suddenly, you found yourself gripping the armests of the rocking chair as your ears honed in on his last few sentences. You processed what he just said, repeating it a million times in your head until it finally clicked into place. You were a pretty sharp and smart individual. You earned several academic achievement awards and scholarships in college, graduated at the top of your class in Law school, passed the Bar on your first attempt, and you were highlighted as one of the top entertainment lawyers in your area. So your brain quickly connected the scattered dots after your eyes went down to the floor and you saw the other pictures you had carried inside the envelope. 

Your eyes went back up to look at him. “You knew about them before you came back, too.” 

“FuCk.” 

Jaehyun turned around and walked out into the hallway with you following without warning. He had gotten caught in another lie and couldn’t face you anymore.

Now sitting alone inside the nursery, you felt your anxiety go through the roof. Your hands began to shake and your bottom lip trembled as you held back the urge to scream.

“Come back here...” It came out choked and barely loud enough for him to hear wherever he had gone. “Come back here, Jaehyun!” Your rage took over and you were able to yell for him as loudly as you could.

You got up from the rocking chair and made your way out into the hallway to search for your fleeing fiancé. Luckily, you didn’t have to walk far. He was pacing up and down the hallway between the nursery and the master bedroom. His back was tense at his shoulders and his fists were tightly clenched at his sides. You knew words weren’t going to stop him, so you walked to him and forcibly grabbed his shirt to turn him around and face you. When you did, you saw his eyes up close. They were red with tears begging to be let loose from his ducts. They spoke volumes. Within them you saw fear and shame doing a tantalizing dance together with immense sorrow. 

Jaehyun hated it. He hated the way you looked at him like he was some kind of monster. Your eyes read back to him anger, betrayal, and genuine suffering. He couldn’t bear to have you look at him like that any longer and wanted to prove to you that he wasn’t a monster. But when he quietly spoke your name and tried to caress your shoulder, you immediately smacked his hand away. 

“Y/N, I’m so sorry.” A tear ran down his face. 

“No, Jaehyun! You do not get to cry!” You pushed him away from you by his chest, causing him to stumble backwards a bit. “How long? How long have you had YangYang following me around and secretly taking photos of me with the others? And don’t bullshit me. I want the whole truth!”

“Since I sent Kun away, okay! I knew you’d try and fill some preexistent void...” he trailed off and rubbed his wet chin, and then wiped his hand on his pants. “So I had you followed. What if you had gotten involved with someone similar to Kun? Or what if you found someone not good enough to be—“

“So the fuck what, Jaehyun! It’s my life and you had no reason to meddle with any part of it. Did you manipulate the other guys, too? Did you find a way to advertise phony trips to them, too?”

“No! I never meddled with anyone else, only Kun. At some point I realized those momentary flings were something you needed. A release. And by the time I had enough of your dick hopping with guys that weren’t me, who didn’t want to be with you long term except for maybe two of them, that’s when I decided to become the last participant in your ongoing sexcapade. I may have been sixth in line to get to your heart, but I was determined to be the first one you chose to share it with completely.”

“Then why didn’t you stop having me followed around?” You were teetering on the edge of an emotional cliff at this point. You felt a small kick inside you, your little bee signaling to you that if you kept this up she’d physically join you sooner rather than later, but you ignored her warning. 

“I had every intention to have you not followed anymore. After I returned early from filming, I decided to try really hard to make you see that I was the man you wanted and needed. But then you ghosted me when you decided you wanted to try again with Kun. After all the things I did that you were unaware of, you still chose to be with him. I could have sent you the photos then, but I didn’t want to hurt you like that after you and I had just emotionally and physically reconnected. Plus if I did, we wouldn’t be having the conversation now after all that has happened between us this far.”

“Tch. Of course we wouldn’t be like we are now! Jaehyun, look at us! I wish you would have shown me those photos when you wanted to because I’d be done with both you and Kun. For good. It would have saved me a lot of tears and heartache.”

Delusional, he was genuinely shocked at what he heard about you being done with him. He thought he may have finally gotten through to you with his ridiculous explanations. “You don’t mean that, Y/N. We would have worked through it after you heard where I was coming from and my reasoning behind the decisions I was making--”

“I don’t mean it? You don’t think extortion and manipulation isn’t a reason to cut ties with someone?”

“Yes, but I had to do what needed to done--“

“You didn’t need to have me followed or exploit Kun. My life isn’t a movie where you can just play whatever role you feel like!”

Those words cut him deep, and his countenance flickered with pain. “Y/N, I’m sorry--“

“Stop saying that! Because if you meant it you wouldn’t still be having me followed to this day! You were the last person I thought would hurt me this much!” 

You had not cried once up until this point, but the dam had finally been breached. Tears fell fast from your eyes as your heart shattered into a million pieces. You covered your face with your hands as you sobbed uncontrollably. Your baby was shifting inside you, agitated by all of the stress you were putting on her. And the thought of her safety was the only thing keeping you from falling to your knees.

“I never meant to hurt you like this...” He said as his own heart crumbled from watching himself single handedly destroy yours. “But...even after all I’ve done,” he continued, though you couldn’t imagine what more he could possibly have to say. “I’m still better than all the other guys you’re still hung up on.”

“I’m not hung up on anyone! I said yes to being your fiancée, remember?” You aggressively removed your hand adorned with the beautiful ring from your face and held it up to his. “I said yes without hesitation. But knowing what I know now, maybe I shouldn’t have. Even the fourth guy in line wouldn’t have hurt me this badly!”

Jaehyun’s eyes grew wide then narrowed before he quickly rushed a hand through his hair. It had become increasingly unkempt since the beginning of the argument. “Who, Taeyong? He wouldn’t know how to take care of you even if he tried. He can’t even properly manage his own bar.” You didn’t even ask how he knew which exact guy was fourth and let him continue talking. “This is actually his third attempt at a bar. His first two bars closed shortly after opening because of the shady dealings he was doing to keep the place afloat. He’s managed to make it past six months now because he was threatened again with more jail time. Plus you started sleeping with him again, and of course he believed he would have a life with you. So that forced him to start changing his way of living.”

“Well it’s good to know I’ve had such a positive impact on someone trying to turn their life around. At least he was honest with me about the type of person he was before and after he met me. All my other partners seem to have been more honest with me than you ever were.”

“Not the six foot phony who was one-third of your impromptu threesomes,” he said with a scoff before wiping any remaining tears he had with the back of his hand. “He’s engaged, Y/N. Has been for an entire year.” 

“What?” you asked incredulously.

“Yeah. The troll is afraid of commitment. But you already knew that considering you had multiple rendezvous with him while I was away. You were so devastated to hear Kun cheated on you after all this time, meanwhile you were the other woman for Johnny.”

“I didn’t know they were engaged! If I knew that I wouldn’t have slept with him again. But she knew about us before that. It’s not my fault he didn’t tell me everything about them.”

“Still didn’t make it right. Especially since you were also cheating on Kun at the same time.”

“I know it’s not right, Jaehyun! Why are you trying to redirect the conversation to make me look like a vile person?!” He didn’t have an immediate response for you, so you decided to keep going in your state of turbulent emotions. If he wanted to be nasty with his accusations, then you were going to be nasty right back. “Does Johnny intimidate you? You think that if you hadn’t come back or if I wasn’t with Kun, then maybe I would have ended up with Johnny instead? He is my type, after all, which is why I slept with him so many times. He’s tall, handsome, well-endowed, and has a dazzling smile just like you. Did you view him as your main competition?”

“Now you’re just saying stuff to try and piss me off,” he said with a set scowl on his face. “I don’t need to compete with someone who voluntarily cheats on his girlfriend. If the two of you had gotten together, he would have done the same thing to you and you would be in the same situation you were with Kun. Look around, Y/N. All those guys are terrible compared to me!”

You crossed your arms over your chest and shifted your weight onto one foot. “Fine. Since you seem to have some dirt on every single guy I slept with. Enlighten me. Tell me all the information you paid Jeno, YangYang, and whoever the fuck else you hired to find. Because I know you didn’t try to find anything out for yourself. Tell me all the secrets Yuta, Taeil, and Doyoung are keeping from me.”

Accepting your challenge, he began divulging facts without hesitation. “This is a secret not even Yuta knows, but he has another kid out there in the world. Maybe more, who knows. Jeno went above and beyond my authority and paid his ex-wife for the details. The kid’s mom had been trying to reach out to Yuta for a while, but the ex always intercepted and kept her quiet.” He saw your face fall, as you were very affected by this tidbit of information. To console you he said, “I’ll admit I created a monster with Jeno, and it wasn’t until Mark got arrested that he regained his good natured consciousness.”

“Why haven’t you disclosed this information to Yuta?”

“I wasn’t even supposed to know about that. Besides, you and the baby are my top priority. Not him.” Jaehyun leaned against the banister of the railing overlooking the first floor of his estate.

“I’m going to tell him,” you asserted.

“Suit yourself. I don’t care anymore,” he said with an indifferent shrug of his shoulders. 

“Well, what about Taeil? Did he steal your girlfriend when he was younger? Is that why you’re making sure he doesn’t end up with me either?”

“No.” He said affronted. 

“Then why?”

He looked down as he ran his hand back and forth along the polished wood of the banister. “Because I hired the love of his life to be my lawyer, pursued her situationally and then romantically, maybe fathered her first born child, and then I told her I loved her and proposed.”

“That’s not what I asked nor is it new information. Shit, everyone at the baby shower could have figured that out—they probably did figure that out.”

“No, it’s not. But to add insult to injury, he can’t provide for you like I can. Taeil’s broke. He’s a terrible accountant that made some piss poor investments in the past. He has no money. No savings. Nothing tucked under his mattress. He drives my cars because he can’t afford to buy his own. His house? Mine. His gym membership? He’s a guest on my account. Those bad investments? Good investments now since I got my hands on them. The only reason he was able to successfully get you in bed was because he moved back here while I was busy filming my movie; before I could convince him otherwise. He was the one that recommended I hire you as my lawyer. He just didn’t expect that I’d steal your heart, too.”

You couldn’t believe what you were hearing, but some things were starting to make sense. “So…,” you began as you spoke your thought process out loud. “When Taeil went to study abroad where you stayed, he lived with you and confided to you about our failed relationship. And then when you saw the opportunity, you sought me out and continued to pursue me even though you knew about his strong feelings towards me?” Jaehyun looked to you and said nothing, affirming your assumption. “You’re sick.”

“It sounds worse when you say it that way. But my feelings have always been genuine. I originally sought out your professionalism and just so happened to fall in love with you while we worked together. I didn’t fall in love with Taeil’s memory of a long lost girlfriend. I fell in love with a respectable, successful, and mature woman. Different time. Different place. Different feelings.”

You hated that he was right. He didn’t make himself fall in love with you just so he could steal you away behind Taeil’s back. He fell in love with you naturally. But as you have come to find out, he loved you a bit too much and was willing to do whatever it took to make him look like the better man.

Feeling your heart wavering, you squeezed your arms tighter against your chest before you asked him about the last person he supposedly had information on. “And Doyoung?”

“The only thing I have on him...” He hesitated mid-sentence as if he was contemplating whether or not he wanted to say what he was going to tell you. “...is that he pawned the ring he purchased for you. He was going to propose to you after graduation, but Taeyong got in the way.”

You audibly hissed as you violently sucked the air between your teeth, causing Jaehyun to flinch slightly. “Jeno didn’t tell you this,” you told him with a clenched jaw. “You’re lying to me again?”

“I’m not lying. And it wasn’t Jeno. Ten told me after the paternity test.” 

“Liar,” you huffed out. You could feel your body temperature rising as your breaths became shorter.

He let out a dispiriting chuckle to himself. “Apparently you didn’t know, but he’s Team Jaehyun. Has been for quite some time now. He also got caught up in this ‘who’s the daddy’ drama and couldn’t help but dip his toes in. So he gave me some insight. He joked that the last men standing would be me and Doyoung. Even if the baby is for neither of us, we’d still be the last two actually vying for your heart.”

“Doyoung and I despise each other,” you hiccuped.

“And you despise me, too, now. So I guess Ten was way off with his assumption.”

“Just shut up!”

All of this had to be a lie! There was know way Ten had told Jaehyun that Doyoung was going to propose to you after you graduated law school. If Ten did know about it, all the way up to the detail about Doyoung pawning the ring, why hadn’t he ever told you? And why did he tell Jaehyun? Was Ten working with him, too? And how much of a financial hole was Doyoung in that he needed to sell the ring he was going to use to profess his undying love--

Jaehyun noticed the way your breathing had become irregular, and urgently pushed himself away from the banister when he registered the frantic look on your face as the cogs whirled inside your mind at the thought of Doyoung wanting to propose to you. “Y/N, listen to me. I know this is--“ 

“Sorry, pretty boy. Your time is up.”  

Equally stunned by the interruption, both you and Jaehyun whipped your heads around towards the staircase to see Yuta making his entrance onto the scene. You were so caught up in Jaehyun’s bullshit that you had momentarily forgotten he was still waiting for you outside. The tightness in your chest loosened at the sight of him, and you were thankful he kept his word by coming to your rescue at the right time.

“Y/N, it’s time to go?”

Jaehyun’s narrowed eyes darted quickly between you and the other man standing before him. “How long have you been in here?”

Yuta made his way over to you and gently uncrossed your arms that were still pressed tightly against your chest. “Long enough to know I have another kid somewhere out there. Not the way I wanted to find out, but then again, you can’t always get what you want.” While looking into your glossy eyes, he cuffed his hand around one of yours and let you squeeze it as hard as you needed to in order to keep hold of your sanity. He could feel the fast pace of your heightened pulse through your palm. “My ex-wife is pretty trash, huh?” He asked, then turned his head to face Jaehyun to now look directly into his eyes. “Don’t make the same mistake I did and marry the wrong person, Y/N.”

Beneath that cold, blank expression, you knew Jaehyun was fuming. You, his fiancée, had come unannounced to confront him, and now stood in his home holding hands with another man who also held claim to a piece of your heart. You stared at him as he seethed in silence, letting every letter of Yuta’s words sink into his prefrontal cortex.

“Don’t call me, text, email, or anything,” you commanded Jaehyun after you were able to find your breath. “I need time away from you to think. I need time for myself, my health, and my baby. Our possible baby.” You pointed between all three of you within the space. “Just let me think. No matter how long it takes.” You paused briefly to shift a bit of your weight onto Yuta, as you were now too tired to stand on your own. “If you want any little bit of hope that I’ll stay with you after all this, you’ll do these things for me.”

With your other hand you reached out to Yuta’s, and he proceeded to help you walk down the stairs and out of the mansion.

There wasn’t anything he could say. The only thing Yuta could do was listen to the sniffling of your nose and breathy sighs as you cried softly beside him while he drove you home. You had a great deal of things on your mind and you would talk when you were ready. He himself had a lot on his mind. His ex-wife had been blocking him from seeing his other child. The only reason he could think of for her to do something like that was so she could secure their son’s inheritance, to ensure that he got all of it without having to split it with another sibling. He didn’t put it past her. She already tried to wring his bank account dry during the divorce. This made him wonder what his ex had in mind to do if he was the father of your baby, too. He needed to do something about that conniving woman and get his son away from her before she did something else he wouldn’t be able to forgive.

You sighed heavily, snapping Yuta out of his thoughts. From the corner of his eye he saw you wipe your nose with one of the tissues from the packet he got for you out of his glove compartment. Seeing you like this was so upsetting to him. He was used to seeing you as a strong, independent woman who didn’t have any problem taking care of herself. To see someone like you so broken up because of another person made him so mad. He should have punched Jaehyun like he originally wanted to.

“I’ll stay with you until your brother gets back,” Yuta said, breaking the stagnant air around you.

You shook your head. “No, your family needs you.”

“Are you sure?”

You weren’t. You weren’t sure if you actually wanted to be alone until Mark came back. You weren’t sure you could be alone. But you were sure that you didn't want to drag your brother or Yuta any further down this deep pit of despair you dug for yourself. You didn’t want to go home anymore. You didn’t want to be there alone with your thoughts and you didn’t want to be there with Yuta who had his own issues that needed to be sorted out right away. But where could you go? The man you thought you could trust your heart to just ripped it out of your chest and stomped on it. There was nowhere else for you to go but home to cry on your brother, but you refused to keep stressing him out. So you would have to go to a place where you could cry on someone else who actually had a role in your messed up storyline. Two of which would more than likely turn you away, and one of them would definitely welcome you with open arms against their better judgement. And the other would…

“I want you to take me somewhere else instead,” you answered Yuta’s question.

“What? Where?”

“I just don’t want to go home. Please, Yuta?”

He sighed and scratched the back of his head. “I’m going to have to charge you cab fare.”

Because of Yuta’s joke, a small smile was able to make its way onto your tear stained face. “Thank you. Take the exit after the next one and then make a left at the light.”

Yuta followed your instructions as you directed him to your destination. He had an idea on where you were going and his assumption grew stronger when he began to drive through a residential area. You pointed to the house you wanted him to drop you off in front of and he pulled up to the curb to park his car.

“That’ll be $36.00, please,” he said, reaching out his hand towards you. You ignored his antics and began taking off your seatbelt. “Whose house is this anyway?”

“You’ll see.”

“Oh no. I’m not letting you out until you tell me.” To reinforce his point, he pressed the button to re-lock his car doors that had automatically unlocked when he put his car into park.

“I’ll be fine. What more can be done to me after what I just went through?” You unlocked the door manually and then struggled your way out of the car by yourself. By the time Yuta had taken off his own seatbelt to stop you, you were already halfway to the front door of the house, so he gave up and let himself watch you go up the rest of the way and ring the doorbell. After opening the door, the owner of the house’s hands went immediately to your puffy cheeks as the sight of your distressing appearance suddenly caused him to become overcome with urgency.

Yuta craned his neck as he tried to see who it was you chose to use as a supportive pillar. When he got a good look at them he made a hum of enlightenment before sitting back properly in his seat. “I was expecting to see her mother, not the rabbit.”

You were immediately ushered into the house and made to sit on the living room sofa. Doyoung left you briefly to make herbal tea after you accepted his offer for a cup. Once done, he set the cup and saucer into your hands, and then he sat down beside you on the couch with his elbows resting on his legs. “What happened to you?” he asked you after waiting for you to take your first sip of the tea. After your visit with him to the ER earlier that day, he assumed you had gone home to rest like the doctor prescribed.

“I found out who really had the pictures taken.” Doyoung didn’t say anything, allowing you to continue when you were ready. He watched as you took another sip of your tea, noticing the way your hand slightly trembled when you placed it back down onto the saucer. “It was Jaehyun.”

As if he had already known the answer, Doyoung closed his eyes and inhaled slowly. “I figured as much.”

“How long have you known?” Leave it to Doyoung to be so perceptive. He should quit being a lawyer and become a detective. 

“I found the pictures the day you had us all tested. I put the pieces together a little bit before your baby shower.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

Doyoung looked down shamefully at his hands. “You ask that like you were actually willing to talk to me.”

“It didn’t stop you from giving me the envelope.”

He moved one of his hands to push back his hair from his face. “I’m sorry about that. My mind was grappling with so many emotions that day. I wanted to talk to you about everything in person, but he kept getting in my way.” From the way he spit out the word, you knew he was talking about Jaehyun without having to say his name.

“I’m glad you did it when you did,” you told him as you gazed dismally into the orange liquid inside your cup. “I was able to use what you gave me to confront him and he revealed his true self.”

Doyoung’s eyes moved from your face to your hand that held the saucer. You were still wearing the engagement ring from Jaehyun. He didn’t want to make any assumptions about where your relationship with him stood. “Are you still…” he asked tentatively.

You followed his gaze and inferred what he was asking you. “I don’t know,” you said after taking a deep breath. “I just...he told me a lot of things. I don’t know if I’ll be able to trust him again.”

“I see,” was all he could say to you in that moment.

There was another small period of silence between you so you could drink more of your tea, but in actuality you were mustering up the nerve to ask him this next question: “Is it true that you were going to propose to me?”

Doyoung’s entire body went stiff beside you. And you swore you saw his eyebrows hit the sky. “Who told you that lie?” 

You turned your body slightly to face him more and looked into his eyes for the first time since entering his home. “Everybody has been lying to me lately and I just want to have an honest conversation with someone. So is it true?”

“Did Jaehyun tell you that to mess with your head? It’s obviously false,” he said, becoming defensively indignant.

“Ten told him.” 

Doyoung didn’t respond right away, and so you knew it was the truth.

“How much money did you lose on the ring?”

“Why does that matter? You still left me anyway, so I would have had to sell it regardless.”

And here you thought the two of you would finally be able to put aside your differences.

“For fucks sake,” you gritted and practically threw the tea cup and saucer onto his coffee table. “I’m sorry I left you, okay! Is that what you want me to say? Stop reminding me of one of the biggest mistakes I've ever made! So can we please have a conversation like two human beings?”

Something you had just said lit a flame inside him and he could no longer hold back all the conflicting feelings he kept inside him. “Fine! If you want me to be honest, yes! I was going to propose to you. You were my everything just like you were to all these other guys that worship the ground you walk on for some reason. And I just don’t know why it has to be like this!” He took a second to take a shaky breath as tears began to prickle behind his eyes. “Because you were with me! You were supposed to be with me forever! But then you just left me to be with Taeyong, and I made myself hate you all this time even though I was the one who told you to go!” He hastily wiped his eyes with his sleeve before any of his tears could fall. “Fuck!”

You stared at him wide eyed in disbelief at the fact that he was finally being honest about himself. But then you shook your head when something other than his current state came to your attention. “Was it really Taeyong or were you too afraid that I might have rejected your proposal to be with someone else?”

Doyoung sniffed and wiped his eyes once more. “Don’t psychoanalyze me right now.”

“I’m right, aren’t I?” He responded by rolling his eyes at you, making you scoff. “You know, you're the whole reason I have commitment issues. You’re the literal reason I ran into Taeyong’s arms. But he turned out to be crazy, so I left him. Then the next thing I knew I was  working with two guys who only wanted me for my body rather than have a functioning relationship. I said I was fine with that, but I really wasn’t.  So I found a seemingly good natured man to settle down with, but I was still unhappy with him because I wanted to try the no sex thing like an idiot. If you hadn’t run me away in the first place, we’d be married by now with our joint practice like we used to talk about, and I wouldn’t have come out of some crazy sex bender not knowing who the father of my daughter is!”

“I know, I know! And I’m so sorry!”

“Are you?!”

“Yes! And I wish I could take it all back!” He cradled his face in his hands as he fought back a sob. “I never stopped loving you, Y/N.”

“You made sure I believed otherwise.”

He slid his hands down and off his face. “Because I’m stupid.” 

You shook your head at him again. “No, I’m stupid. I still don’t know who my baby’s father is because I’m too scared to look at the results.”

Doyoung’s eyes widened slightly. “You have the results and never told any of us you got them?”

“I know I’m terrible for keeping everyone in limbo. I wasn’t ready before. But now...I think I am. I have to be.” Doyoung watched quietly as you lifted up your left hand and twisted off the engagement ring on your finger. “Knowing who he is determines how I’m going to move forward with my life,” you continued and placed the ring onto the coffee table next to the small puddle of tea you spilled. “And I need to be able to face head on whatever fate the universe has chosen for me and my child.”

Dun dun duuuunnnnn!

For other chapters, see the masterlist.