#it’s ridiculously funny

[blazeball]

i just rediscovered the pelican spider. give me 1-2 business days to stop laughing at how they're shaped and ill be normal again

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

so in an attempt to actually use positive thinking, anytime i fuck up and my brain reacts as if ive cause a minor apocalyptic event, i compare my fuck up to the 4 minute fuck up committed by the crew of the uss william d porter.

and only today, as i was having to explain what happened to my mom when i was explaining the whole comparison thing, did i realise that most people dont know about it and ive decided that needs to change because its objectively hilarious.

...which is a weird thing to say about an event that occured on a warship in 1943, specifically november 14th.

see the uss william d porter was a fletcher-class destroyer but you dont need to know what that means, just that she had guns that went bang bang and that she was escorting another ship, the uss iowa, to cairo.

while they were on their way there, they performed some gun trials like testing the anti-aircraft guns or the torpedos. and while they were running a torpedo drill, the crew of the porter managed to fire a live torpedo straight at the iowa which you know, in terms of a list of things to do while escorting a ship, shooting a torpedo at them is not on that list.

especially if the president of the united states is on board.

yeah so fdr was on board and the gun trials were actually his idea, and part of the trials was that they were conducted under radio silence.

and that means the crew of the porter couldnt just call the iowa to be like "move out the way, we accidentally shot a torpedo at you."

but they did have signal lamps and you know, the signalman on board was trained to signal this exact kind of message.

...and uh never mind, the signalman did manage to successfully tell the iowa that a torpedo was coming toward them but wasnt as successful when it came to the direction the torpedo was coming from.

not all hope is lost though because the signalman could still use the signal lamp to correct his previous mistake and-, never mind, he announced that the porter was reversing, which she wasnt.

yeah so at catastrophic mistake number 3, they broke radio silence to warn the iowa and she managed to turn out of the way just in time which meant no one got hurt. and even though the inquiry into the incident led to chief torpedoman (fantastic job title btw) lawton dawson being sentences to hard labour, fdr intervened and waved away his sentence, saying it was all an accident.

but yeah, so thats my new measure for "how much did i really fuck up?" and when i compared accidentally picking up a pencil case without a tag on it in wilko, turns out it was a very minor fuck-up. yes, the cashier had to ask another worker to grab a duplicate so they could scan the barcode, but i didnt nearly kill the president during wartime via accidental friendly fire

[cj-the-random-artist]

Ok hear me out: Narilamb but they're both aroace and in a qpr.

I've been rolling around in my head for like a long long time this idea that Narinder and Lambert could both be aroace and (after like. A couple of centuries or so) end up in this like very comfortable very close relationship that neither of them define as anything specific other than calling it a "companionship". But on the other hand most of the cult thinks that they're dating in secret or something despite the fact that both of them have said they don't take lovers, because they are clearly very tight but maybe not super openly so, so maybe the cultists thing they're being secretive and hiding something or something like that. Idk but my aroace brain loves thinking about extremely close (mostly) platonic relationships and for some reason my brain decided hmm. I'm going to take this and throw it at Narilamb and see how I like it.

So then I decided to make a ridiculous joke comic about Narinder asking Lambert's hand in marriage specifically because he wants to get out of paying taxes. Because like, I know that spouse followers do actually still have to pay taxes in the actual game but. Hey Narinder and Lambert have presumably never married so they probably don't know that...? Honestly the only reason I made this was because the concept tickled me and I spent too much time on this for no one to see it, so. This comic and all it's absolute ridiculousness be upon ye.

While there's a tiny part of me that's been thinking about making this into an AU (which I'd probably call something like the "Strictly Platonic AU" or something), I know for a fact that I would blatantly not do anything legitimate with it so. It's an unofficial AU I guess?? But. Anyways. I thought this would be funny. Enjoy my ramblings and I hope you enjoy this thing that I spent. Actual time on. Lol

[beeturtlle]

hi i got very into kny recently

[oifaaa]

People will try to convince you Jason Todd is the impulsive doesn't think before he acts type of guy and its funny bc Jason is almost comedic in how fucking long it actually takes this boy to plan out anything

[just-a-sewer-goblin]

The way Soap would use military talk to get a reaction from you. He knows you're into it. So you're standing in the kitchen, maybe cooking something and you can hear his raspy voice from behind the corner "Got visuals on the target" and you're already grinning, wisely putting down anything that could make a mess. You hear slight shuffling and a whispered "Nice and stealthy boys", the next thing you know is him tackling you and immediately catching you in his arms, carefully lowering you to the floor. He crawls over you rasping: "Hostage secured", and presses his lips to yours but you both have to laugh. And it ends up being a messy kiss because you both can't stop giggling and grinning into the kiss. And when he breaks away because you're both smiling so wide it's just impossible to properly kiss, you put your hand on his chest and tell him: "You're a goof MacTavish". His smile softens and he replies: "Aye, your goof, that is."

[saudrag]

homelander almost crying because a bunch of random politicians called him dumb is top-1 scene of the episode. y’all, he was not created to be the smartest person alive. he’s just a pretty boy and that should be enough

[why-the-heck-not]

makes a to do list. gets too stressed to start on it before it’s waaaaay to late (ohno!!)

[solargeist]

flirting with your enemy out of costume so he doesn't know who you are

[introspectivememories]

it's always distinguished lesbian momo with disaster gay todoroki. we need to flip the script. disaster lesbian momo with distinguished gay todoroki. tddk are practically living together in shouto's japanese style dorm meanwhile momo flies in every morning, hair a mess, slamming that shoji door open, talkin bout "todoroki-kun! kyouka touched my knee this morning! do you think she likes me????"

[deelil4h]

Enjoy

[starcurtain]

The existence of Ratio's vertical pupils indicate that his species evolved as potentially apex ambush predators, while Aventurine's more diamond-shaped pupils suggest Avgins occupied a middle rung of the Sigonian food chain, with divided need to both track prey and maintain wide-angle vision to identify predatory threats. In this essay, I will--

[rooolt]

it’s so funny because the whole season was spent with like adaine oisin flirting, Fabian ivy flirting, fig creating a woman for Ruben to fall in love with, hell, even people shipping kipperlilly and Kristen and me specifically making jokes about kipperlilly having a crush on riz, and yet the bad kid x rat grinder ship that was canonized was better than I could have ever imagined

[anna-scribbles]

they should've been at the club(infertility treatment centers)

[saturnrin]

I love the idea that everything (positive) that Lila lies about somehow comes true for Marinette.

Lila lies about having connections to the queen of England? Suddenly, Marinette is getting regular commissions from the queen herself and forms quite the acquaintance-ship w the royal family.

Lila "is practically family" to an Italian mafia? Marinettes grandmother has quite an eccentric background, and through her, Marinette somehow manages to get a local Italian Mafia to pseudo-adopt her. (Only because she refused to actually be adopted, much to their disappointment)

Lila "went on tour" with Jagged Stone? Guess who wants his favorite designer to accompany him for his U.S. tour during the summer?

Oh, Lila says she acted in a movie for Graham de Vanily Films? Guess who ends up accidentally staring in a Graham de Vanily film?

I just want all the positive things that Lila lies about to happen to Marinette, who is sufficiently surprised every time (you'd think she'd be used to it by now), meanwhile, in the background, Lila gets progressively more pissed.

And the worst part? Every time she tries to upstage Marinette with something even bigger and grander than Marrinettes' own accomplishments? No matter how ridiculous, Marinette somehow ends up stumbling upon That. Exact. Opportunity.

It's incredibly frustrating.

You could say Marinette has some miraculous luck, despite how adamantly Tikki denies any involvement in these increasingly ridiculous turns of events.

All in all; Lila is frustrated, Marinette is frustrated, and Tikki is very amused (as are Adrien and Plagg, who watch this shit-show from the background).

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

me on here: Hobie Brown would NOT be traditionally romantic and chivalrous. Looking at it's historical and social implications-

me in my head: