#it’s undermining my own self and respect for my own needs

[estravven]

Some thoughts on my own personal development in 2023

[saintsenara]

Thoughts on Ron and Hermione as a ship?

thank you very much for the ask, @thesilverstarling!

i’ll state my position straight away: book ron and hermione are the best of the canon couples.

they will have a long and extremely happy marriage made rich by great and stalwart love, lust, fun, and faithfulness, rather than held together by duty and couples’ therapy like so many readers and authors (including jkr, who seems to have decided to spend the years since the conclusion of the series failing to understand anything about her own characters) tend to think.

i will state another position straight away: lest i seem like i’m just a fan with blinkers on, i think this even though hermione is, by far, my least favourite member of the trio. if she were real i would detest her, and i dislike how she is treated by the narrative as always justified in her negative characteristics. i like fanon hermione - perfect and preternaturally good - even less.

as a result, i think that it’s ridiculous that jkr has said that she thought ron needed to ‘become worthy’ of hermione. they belong together as equals - which is what they’re set up in the narrative as being from the off - and i hate seeing that undermined.

because ronald weasley? he’s an icon. and he doesn’t get anywhere near the respect he deserves in fandom.

there are multiple reasons for this - ron’s narrative purpose is to be the everyman sidekick, and so he is able to be less special than harry or hermione (the helper-figure); the amount of aristocracy wank in this fandom means that the weasleys’ ordinariness is less appealing to writers than making harry have twenty different lordships and call himself hadrian; the narrative interrogates ron’s flaws - especially his capacity for jealousy - much more intensively than it interrogates either hermione’s (cruel, inflexible, meddling) or harry’s (reckless, self-absorbed, judgemental) - but one i feel is particularly significant is that ron is such a british character that many of his traits are not understood as intended by non-british readers.

in particular - as is outlined in this excellent meta by @whinlatter - ron’s sense of humour isn’t indicative of immaturity or a lack of seriousness, but is, in fact, evidence that he’s the most emotionally aware of the trio.

ron is shown throughout the series to understand how both harry and hermione need to have their emotions approached - and i think there is no piece of writing which says this better than crocodile heart by @floreatcastellumposts:

That was what she liked most about Ron, she thought vaguely. He was very good at being suitably outraged on your behalf. For Harry, for her, for Neville. That sort of thing mattered, when you were hurt or embarrassed or wronged in some way. You needed to have someone else on your side, to be as emotional as you felt, maybe even more so, so that you might feel a bit more normal. It was very decent of him, and she was not sure he realised he did it.

ron’s inherent emotional awareness is an enormous source of comfort to other people. he does the work which isn’t flashy or special - he makes tea and tells jokes and is just there - but which is needed in healthy human relationships far more frequently than a willingness to fight to the death for the other person.

[as an aside, this normality - even though i think it is assumed rather than justified by the text - is also what ginny provides for harry. if you believe that hinny are a good couple but romione aren’t… i can’t help you.]

but let’s look at some specific reasons why ron and hermione belong together:

their communication styles mesh perfectly. ron is the only person hermione knows who feeds her love of being challenged and debated, and who is able to engage in this way of communicating without becoming irate when she refuses to back down. ron is good at picking his battles, but he’s also good at recognising that hermione’s tendency to argue isn’t intended to be confrontational a lot of the time - it’s just the way she works through feelings and problems. he’s far more easy-going about her tendency to nag, interrupt, try to provoke arguments, or speak condescendingly than he’s given credit for - and hermione evidently respects this, since when he does tell her not to push a situation (above all, when she’s trying to needle harry into talking about sirius), she listens to him.

that ron and hermione’s tendency to bicker is taken by fans to be a bad thing is because it’s something harry - from whose perspective the narrative is written - doesn’t understand. harry is extremely conflict-avoidant - he tends to take being pushed on views and opinions he has to be insulting; and he has a tendency to assume that he is right which is just as profound as hermione’s. he and ginny communicate not by debating, but by ginny having no time for his rigidity and refusing to indulge it - but ron and hermione bickering about everything is not a negative thing within their specific emotional dynamic.

[as another aside, this glaring chasm in communication styles is why harry and hermione would be a disaster as a couple.]

they each provide validation the other needs. it’s clear - reading between the lines - that hermione is a tremendously lonely person. the friendlessness of her initial few weeks at hogwarts seems to be a continuation of her experience as a child, and - outside of ron and harry - that friendlessness endures through her schooldays. i’m always struck, for example, by the fact that, when she falls out with ron in prisoner of azkaban, she has no-one else to spend time with, and that this is only avoided in half-blood prince because harry decides not to freeze her out. i don’t think her friendship with ginny is anywhere near as close as fanon seems to imply (ginny has no interest in being nagged either), nor do i think that she’s anywhere near as close to neville (not least because she is so condescending to him) as she’s often written to be.

and this loneliness seems to stretch beyond hogwarts. the absence of hermione’s parents’ from the narrative is - in a doylist sense - clearly just a device to maximise time with the trio all together, but the watsonian reading is that she doesn’t have a particularly good relationship with them. hermione’s obviously upper-middle-class background - the name! the skiing! the holidays in the south of france! - can be presumed, i think, to come with a series of expectations from her parents which she feels constantly that she’s not entirely meeting, particularly expectations attached to academic success.

[for example, the grangers - were she a muggle child - would undoubtedly have ambitions for her to attend an elite university and then go into a prestigious career. tertiary education of the type that they’re familiar with doesn’t seem to exist in the wizarding world - most careers seem to be taught by apprenticeship - and this, alongside all the other divides between the magical and muggle worlds which contribute to the distance between them, would be one very obvious area in which she felt the need to prove herself to them.]

ron, too, has quite a difficult relationship with his position in the family - voldemort’s locket is not wrong to point out that he seems to receive considerably less of his mother’s emotional attention than ginny or the rest of his brothers - and he too is constrained by expectations which he doesn’t know how to explain he has no interest in - above all, molly’s desire for her sons to achieve top grades and go into the ministry.

he also suffers while at hogwarts from being ‘harry potter’s best friend’, something which harry never appreciates. but hermione does. she recognises ron’s jealousy and never allows harry to minimise it (and she and ron are very much aligned on having no respect for harry’s saviour and martyr complexes). she appreciates ron’s strengths - above all his kindness and his sense of humour - and makes him feel as though he’s achieved things with them. and ron does the same for her; he is hugely observant when it comes to her, and he challenges and defends her.

the two of them clearly spend a lot of time together one-on-one while harry’s involved in his various shenanigans (including outside of school - hermione has often arrived at the burrow days or even weeks before harry, and they seem to write to each other frequently when apart). they do this within a relationship which is fundamentally equal. one issue with hinny is that, post-war, harry is going to have to get used to seeing ginny as a peer, rather than as someone he has to protect. but ron and hermione never have that issue - equality is baked into their relationship from the off.

because, to be quite frank, fandom overstates the role that jealousy plays in their relationship. it’s true that ron certainly doesn’t acquit himself brilliantly when it comes to hermione’s relationship with viktor krum (it’s because he’s bi and doesn’t know it yet), and a tendency to externalise his insecurity into trying to make others also feel insecure is one of his primary negative traits (hermione does this too, via her patented lofty voice when she’s trying to condescend to people). but this is often taken as the initial red flag for how the relationship would crash and burn, and ron’s toxic jealousy is often used in fan-fiction as the trigger for emotional and physical violence towards hermione which, frequently, seems to drive her into the arms of either draco malfoy or severus snape… who are, of course, the first people we think of when we hear the words ‘not prone to jealousy’...

but i think it’s important to point out several things in defence of ron’s jealousy over krum. firstly, hermione evidently regards his jealousy as ridiculous - she’s upset by it, yes, but her upset must be understood as being caused by the fact that she wanted him to ask her out. she doesn’t think he’s being possessive, she thinks he’s being stupid. secondly, hermione is equally as jealous over ron’s crush on fleur delacour and relationship with lavender brown. she behaves just as cruelly when it comes to lavender as ron does when it comes to krum - and the narrative only treats her actions as more sympathetic or justified both because harry dislikes lavender too, and because, by that point in the series, jkr has dispensed with any inclination to ever criticise her.

but, outside of this teenage pettiness, ron is never jealous of hermione over things which matter. he is never jealous of her intelligence or competence or ambition or success (indeed, he defends her constantly from attacks designed to undermine her in these areas). for someone who struggles with being overshadowed by harry, he is never upset at being overshadowed by her. he is clearly going to be happy to support her in any of the career ambitions she can be written as having post-war.

and, on this point, i think it’s worth interrogating why so many readers still seem to feel uncomfortable with the idea of ron and hermione having a dynamic where she is the more ‘powerful’ one. [it’s always a bit trite to say ‘but what if the genders were reversed?’, but actually that’s not irrelevant here]. if hermione ends up taking the ministry by storm and ron becomes a stay-at-home father or has a job which is just to pay the bills, what, precisely, is wrong with that? why, precisely, should hermione regard ron making that choice for himself as a negative thing? hermione so often seems to leave ron in fan-fiction because of a lack of ambition - something which seems to be particularly common in dramione - but, in canon, she is shown to not particularly care if ron and harry do the bare minimum when it comes to studying etc. she nags them to do their work so they don’t get in trouble. she doesn’t nag them to do it to the same standard that she would.

and, actually, i think that ron being less ambitious than hermione is something which is key to how well they work. because ron provides not only emotional support, but emotional clarity.

hermione is shown throughout canon to - just as harry does - have a tendency to become obsessive to the detriment of her own health. she is also often - as harry is - emotionally or intellectually inflexible, and finds it hard to move on when what she feels or believes is proven to be wrong. both she and harry are micro-thinkers, who lean towards knee-jerk assumptions and stubborn convictions (and, indeed, hermione has a remarkably hagrid-ish tendency towards blind loyalty).

ron is none of these things. ron is a big-picture thinker (it’s why he’s so good at chess). he’s a pragmatist. he’s the least righteous of the three. he understands that faith and loyalty are choices, and that sometimes these choices will lead to outcomes which are bad or hard. he is the one of the three most willing to own up to having made mistakes. he is the one least likely to act on gut instinct (and, therefore, the hardest to fool - i think it’s worth emphasising that he clocks that tom riddle is tricking harry immediately, the only one of the trio to do so). he understands that things are a marathon, not a sprint. he is the least obsessive.

and these traits contribute to aspects of his character which are underappreciated. ron worries about hermione making herself ill during exams, or when she is using the time-turner, and makes an effort to get her to set healthy boundaries and redirect her anxiety. ron stands on a broken leg in front of sirius or goes into the forest to fight aragog not out of righteousness, but out of choice. ron takes over the burden of preparing buckbeak’s defence when it is clear that hermione is approaching burnout. ron is completely right that harry hasn’t done any long-term planning for the horcrux hunt, and his anger does force harry to tighten up after he leaves the trio. ron has a clear head in the middle of battle. ron makes harry and hermione laugh. ron is unafraid of human emotion. ron arrests harry’s tendency to brood over the little things by looking at the bigger picture. ron will always come back.

ron is bringing his politician wife regular cups of tea and making sure she doesn’t work all night. he is helping his lawyer wife to feel less upset over losing one case by reminding her that she’s won ten others. he is noticing stress creeping in and whirling her off for a dirty weekend, or even just a takeaway on the sofa. he is teaching his daughter to be proud of her ambition and his son to treat women as equals and both of his children that all you can do when you fuck up is apologise and try to do better. he is making hermione smile on the worst days of her life. he is helping her strategise her long-term goals when she gets stuck on the short-term ones. he is telling her straight when she needs to get it together. he is seeing a misogynistic head of department call hermione a ‘silly little girl’ and choosing to tell him exactly what he thinks of that.

ron is the ultimate wife guy. hermione is a very, very lucky lady.

[punksocks]

Birthday Observations (Capricorn Placements)

*Just based on my observations, only take what resonates

(Today’s my birthday -woo- so I thought I’d put together some observations I’ve noticed about Capricorn placements)

-Capricorn in the big 6 (especially moon) are forced to grow up so fast. Usually, because they’re born to a family with some sort of immaturity in the adults. Because of this these placements usually have to reparent themselves at some point, and this can be why Capricorn placements tend to have more fun in their lives after 25-30

-Sometimes I feel like we forget that in old astrology Aquarius and Capricorn have the same ruler, Saturn. I believe this is why Capricorns can find themselves innovating or even find themselves being stand out loners

-Speaking of Saturn, Capricorn heavy people tend to have to break generational curses or they’ll end up victim to the same circumstances (but they can fall into the same patterns easily)

-Capricorns tend to have such a dry sense of humor because humor is how we cope with all the stress and madness. When things get more lighthearted (and when developed) Capricorns can be much less serious and heavy individuals

-Capricorn mercuries may struggle with expressing themselves in their youth, and even as they get older they may have a hard time opening up and sharing details about their thoughts.

-I think the constant theme with Capricorn placements is taking time and being very deliberate in their processes. Capricorn Asc tend to be a bit slow paced in how they act and react (not in a lacking way, just very deliberate). Capricorn suns grow into their identity and how to express it often after their early 20s, Capricorn moons need time an space to understand and process the emotions they’re feeling, Capricorn mercuries need time to respond and often carefully consider what they’ll say next, Capricorn venuses often don’t fully embrace their beauty until after their mid 20s and they tend to have better luck in love and relationships after this point as well, Capricorn marses tend to need time to achieve their goals, even when they move toward them with consistency, etc

-Underdeveloped Capricorn placements can be super competitive and try to out pace you in everything that you do better than them. (Capricorn suns will try to undermine your achievements and attention, Capricorn venus will try to make you feel ugly and try to throw shade on your style/friendships/romantic options, etc)

-Capricorns don’t enjoy inefficient behavior, they may complain about a process that doesn’t seem to be logical in all steps and may streamline the process if they can.

-The biggest lesson I’m trying to learn as a Capricorn is when to rest. There’s always more work that can be done and it’s hard to mentally step away without feeling guilty or unproductive.

-I always felt some kinda way about The Devil tarot card being for Capricorns— but I will say it is a sign that is commonly tempted to chase after means (like Capricorn venus dating someone for money). Capricorns love respect and security so they can sell out their soul for this if they’re not self aware.

-I just barely started reading Alice Sparkly Kat’s Post Colonial Astrology book, but there and on her blog she makes a great point that “Capricorns have never been corporate”. I have a theory that conformity can be a great detriment to Capricorn placements (even if just on a spiritual level). But Saturn repeated his father’s ruthless attitude around power and was cut down by his sons. Capricorns can find themselves succeeding down these conventional paths and then they end up suffering personally. Or, as was my experience, these conventional paths never quite open up to you and you face more and more challenges in this route and can never quite match their progress to their ambitions. Capricorns tend to benefit much more when they create their own path (I’ve found that this true for business as well as other areas of life).

[death-of-the-flowers]

WHAT DO PEOPLE ENVY ABOUT YOU?

•

Pile 1 - The Sun Rx

||You have an aura of beauty and composure. You work tirelessly to show others your worth. Whether bubbly or serious, your natural charisma can often frustrate people who may try to take you down. They may start petty fights to undermine you and make you seem arrogant or uninformed. They lack the determination to work on themselves, instead blaming their lack of progress on others. Ignore them, keep on shining.||

•

Pile 2 - Two of Cups

||You are in tune with your needs. While others exhaust themselves with productivity and self-care routines, you have found your own way to give to yourself. Others have trouble respecting you and might dismiss you as being a lazy dreamer. Deep down they wish they had the confidence to honor their own desires the way you honor yours. Don't let their insecurity leak into your life. Your gentler nature is your strength.||

•

Pile 3 - Knight of Wands

||Whether you're introverted or extroverted, you always seem to draw people's attention. You find yourself often creatively drawn to new ideas, imagery, hobbies or side-hustles. You have stories, plans, and goals that people just don't understand. You might be called immature or impulsive by people who lack imagination. But the truth is, you don't need to understand all the details to explore your ideas. So go on, be a little weird; the world needs it more interesting people in it.||

•

pls rb if this resonated with you || more tarot on my ko-fi

[marvel-starwarsfangirl]

Crosshair and Omega's dynamic

Spoilers for episode 4

Out of all of Omega's relationships with the Batch, I have to say my favorite is the one with Crosshair (and it's not because I'm biased towards him). Even though they only had like two full episodes to work off each other, they do it so well. It's peak sibling relationship. But why I think it works so well is because of how they work off each other. In my eyes, Omega and Cross see each other as equals or at least on similar levels. This is evident with how they guide each other when fleeing from the Empire. There's no clear leader between them, the pair listen to each other depending on the situation.

Crosshair's skills are basically fighting and playing lookout. Both are very handy to have. Whenever a fight breaks out, Omega lets Crosshair take the lead and he works to protect her and himself. That's not to say Omega can't hold her own, but when the going gets tough, the tough get going (credit Lion King 2 for that cheesy line). Cross also takes a natural protective stance around her. While she does the technical stuff, he keeps watch. He might say it isn't part of his skill set, but believe me, it is.

Then, we have Omega. She's much better at hustling and seeking alternative ways to get things done. It's true that blaster fire will draw more attention to one's self. Thus, Crosshair lets her guide him in situations where they need to be more low-profile. Omega is also better with social situations imo. She's a smart kid who learned a lot from her other brothers and Cid. I love that the show gives both characters to exercise their unique skill set while not undermining the other.

The other reason why I love their relationship so much is because of how it's changed Crosshair. In the months that he and Omega have been imprisoned, he's truly grown to care for and respect her. First off, he uses her name. The only other people he does that with is Hunter and Wrecker. Secondly, he follows her lead with almost no question. He does complain and make comments. BUT, he still follows her. Crosshair in season 1 mocked Hunter for listening to Omega. Little did he know that he would follow her over 6 months later (yes, I did the math).

And then there's the emotional piece of it. Crosshair is so open with Omega in his body language, facial expressions, and words. She brings out the best side of him and I am here for it. Compare that to when we first meet him in Clone Wars. He's quiet, hangs back, and usually wears a stern look on his face. Now look at him with Omega. He's much more talkative. His face emits so much emotion from being fed up to genuine concern. There is no doubt in my mind that he loves Omega. He encourages her and openly voices his concerns. I myself struggle with opening up to others about certain except for a few people. Seeing Crosshair opening to someone who he feels comfortable with is truly beautiful and heartwarming. Between Mayday and Omega, you can see just how much Crosshair has changed.

Finally, the imperial officer casually calling Crosshair Omega's dad and her not saying anything proves that Crossdad is real. It's so on the nose, but it's so obvious that Crosshair cares for her and is good at keeping her safe.

[space-blue]

Hi! I like your Arcane anaylses :) I wanted to ask for your opinion on why Sevika is celebrated and Marcus gets shamed? I mean, they basically did the same thing. Both betrayed their "friend(s)" - Vander and Grayson - for their personal beliefs.

Heya Anon, thanks, I'm glad you enjoy my meta! Hope you enjoy me disagreeing with your premise x'D

Sevika and Marcus have nothing in common imo. At no point in the show is it established that Sevika and Vander are friends. There are no outward signs of friendship. The person standing next to Vander and joking with Vander, and left in charge in episode 2 is Benzo.

We meet Sevika in a confrontational scene where she's against Vander. Vander doesn't meet her or anyone else's needs in that scene. He puts them all down and enforces, as he's been doing for years, The Status Quo. He doesn't listen, he's doing this meeting to reinforce that nothing should be done and enforcers left alone. Vander is ruling. He's the leader of the Lanes.

Sevika and Vander in that moment have conflicting interests. Sevika wants change. Sevika wants to lash back while Vander wants everyone to stay under the heel of Piltover, hoping that if they don't fight back the boot won't squeeze.

You can't blame Sevika for thinking that's crappy. She's making a life choice informed by her analysis of the situation. We don't know when she made her decision either, or for how long she's been hostile to Vander.

I'd argue too that there's a strong argument that Silco already has Sevika as an ally at that time :

He's famously untrusting.

The chemist I nicknamed Syd is at Vander's place riling people up with Sevika, and next scene he's manufacturing Shimmer for Silco, which can't be an easy process.

Silco has people spying on Vander AND his kids.

I think this telegraphs that Sevika has potentially been on his side for a while and was at the Last Drop to undermine Vander.

That's rough life politics. What can you do? You can't blame Sevika for having dreams of her own and seeing Vander as a massive obstacle on the way. Again, she's never shown to be one of his cronies and we have no clue about the nature of their relationship besides the fact she used to respect him. But we know so did Silco, and Vander has changed a lot.

On the other hand, Marcus has a very bad start…

He's an enforcer with a chip on his shoulder. I made this post theorising as to why… And it's whack and may be totally wrong, but it's clear Marcus is shown as going above and beyond in his hate of "trenchers". He uses slurs, is violent towards even children, and is happy to take bribes and underhanded deals in his goal of dragging said trenchers to jail.

He's also a doofus who doesn't realise what he's getting into. Blinded by his hatred and wading into dangerous waters. He's not smart enough to come on top and ends up being a tool.

Also… he's a COP. He's part of a system. He has a boss who he's NOT friend's with as far as we see, but he's her explicit subordinate and gets thrown around the office after disobeying her.

He put Grayson in a bad spot and led her to her death, failing his entire organisation by then not coming clean. He keeps dirty secrets that weigh him down, while Sevika is shown to be blunt and entirely truthful to Vi, Jinx, and even Silco.

He goes behind people's back, and sure, Sevika goes behind Vander's too. But Marcus is paid in literal blood money and never comes clean. Sevika is fine being open with her allegiences once shit hits the fan, and she's there for ideology, not self interest.

We don't know the details of Sevika's dream, but we know she keeps Silco on his toes. Silco's dream is the Nation of Zaun. Independance. Not the erradication of Piltovans.

Meanwhile Marcus just wants to throw children in jail, and DOES, again behind everyone's back.

Sevika is a bull. Marcus is a snake.

Sevika is making life choices and chosing who will serve her interests. She chose the anti hero who wants freedom for her oppressed people. Marcus is THE OPPRESSOR and a shitty one to boot who disobeys the very order he serves.

Funniest of all, I don't think Marcus was betraying Grayson. Her death was not part of "the deal". That asshole truly just wanted to arrest a kid and glean the recompense of a job well done. But there's no hint that he was trying to unseat Grayson.

In a way he's just as zealous as Sevika. He follows his hate and prejudices and she follows her principles. She doesn't mind bashing her own people to get to her goals, but Vander is literally doing Grayson's job for her. He's a freelancing cop and an enemy of any Zaunites dreaming of independence.

Vander has a stance, and Sevika has the opposite one.

The only person who perceives betrayal is Vi. But Vi is a child and doesn't understand politics at all. She's completely blinded by her love for Vander and her mindset of 'everybody is my enemy'. If she slowed down a bit, she might notice she and Silco want the exact same thing. Literally. A better world for Powder, and everyone like her. Vi is poisoned against Silco by Silco and Vander's fateful clash. It's perfectly understandable! I don't think it'd be easy to have her not be rightfully prejudiced against Silco.

But she IS our eyes for a lot of the story. We perceive Vander a lot through her extremely rose tinted view.

Sevika probably doesn't couch her own siding with Silco as a betrayal…

That being said, we don't know their backstory. Maybe Sevika was friends with Vander when they were younger? We have a picture of young Silco at the bar with Vander… did she know them both? Because then we can do anything you want.

My favourite take being that she took Silco's side after Vander's betrayal, but stayed out and public and was careful not be 'seen' with Silco. She's a true believer. I think if she had hesitations, learning Vander was sucking Grayson's toes most likely fully turned her away. That's just my prefered fanon, but if you have a fanon theory of her being Vander's friend, of course it'd colour your view. I just don't think the canon reactions of both characters really compare.

[randommusingsstuff]

Dissecting Season 3 of Never Have I Ever: Let’s talk about Devi’s Agency

“When you lock yourself into a dream of what your life should be, you limit yourself” Dr. Ryan tells Devi in the season 3 finale of Never Have I Ever.

For 3 seasons, Devi’s pursuit of popularity has been a mask for her desire to be loved. When she finally envisions a new dream, one in line with her actual wants and needs, she runs straight to Ben.

Why Closure for Daxton is Needed

Remember in my season 2 meta, when I said that the love triangle would be stretched out until the last season? It’s no surprise that Devi and Paxton will get another shot, and I think it makes sense. Why? It’s a tv show with a contentious love triangle, regardless of the outcome, they are not ending it a season early. Most importantly, the right to choose is a part of Devi’s agency.

In a romantic comedy, it is essential that the protagonist's choice is not defined by circumstance but by love. Paxton breaks up with Devi because she doesn’t love herself. Not only is he the one choosing to end the relationship, but the reason behind their breakup is due to Devi’s own insecurities. She has zero agency in this decision.

Season 1 was all about Devi letting go of her grief and finding a sense of belonging within her family. Season 2 was about developing a strong sense of moral beliefs and learning how to respect others. We see Devi act on these values early on in season 3 when she tells Paxton that he needs to apologize to Haley. Season 3 is about Devi learning how to stop valuing her worth through an external filter. Season 4 is about Devi’s desire for self-fulfillment explored through her intersectionality, college acceptances and relationships. This is telegraphed at the very end of season 3 when McEnroe says her dream has evolved.

What does this mean for her relationship with Paxton? She will have another chance to be with him, and she will end it on her own terms. When she does make her choice, she will have full agency in the decision, because wish fulfillment and happy endings are a requisite of the genre. She will not choose Ben because she can’t be with Paxton, she will choose Ben because she loves him.

The Undermining of Devi and Paxton in Season 3

Before I go any further, I want to acknowledge that Devi and Paxton are a good relationship by teen drama standards. On any other show, they would be a more than acceptable endgame. However, this is not just any other teen drama. The writers are acutely aware of Devi’s wants, her needs and how the two contrast.

In the premiere of season 3, Devi walks down the hall with Paxton and John Mcenroe proclaims, “this is what fairy tales are made of.” By the end of the season, he is no longer her fantasy. The writers undercut Devi and Paxton’s relationship at crucial moments to telegraph to the audience that they are not meant to be.

Let’s start with the first three episodes of the season. Daren Barnet said it best: “Paxton and Devi are kind of complete opposites other than having a good-natured heart.” When we get a snapshot into their relationship, we see that their dates consist of making out and watching Tiktoks. It has been 3 seasons, and they continue to lack the intellectual and conversational chemistry needed in building a lasting relationship. The “opposites attract” phenomenon is a myth. Certain differences can be complimentary, but having core values and interests is essential to developing a meaningful connection. What do Devi and Paxton talk about? Do they feel comfortable telling each other the truth? Are their futures headed in even remotely the same direction? Juxtapose this with Ben. Episode 2 of season 3 gives us a simple scene of Ben and Devi touching each other affectionately while laughing. On its own, it could be innocuous. Except, Aneesa’s reaction to it signifies that it is anything but platonic. In episode 3, the Valentine’s compatibility quiz reveals that Ben’s perfect match is Devi and Paxton’s is not. The show never wastes an opportunity to remind us that Ben and Devi are more compatible.

Post break-up, Ben and Paxton both have conversations with Fabiola and it’s interesting to contrast the two. Fabiola provides a buffer in which the writers can have Paxton and Ben reveal their true feelings without it being a confession to Devi. In episode 5 of season 3, Paxon reveals to Fabiola that “Devi is really complicated” and that “stuff with her was always so confusing”. While it’s true that Devi’s insecurities complicated their relationship, there are going to be moments where Devi is messy, and she needs someone who embraces that entirely. The writers have an opportunity to let Paxton reveal his feelings for Devi to the audience and they don’t take it. Contrast this with Ben’s confession to Fabiola in episode 4, “yeah, well, she broke my heart,” and the dissonance becomes evident.

A pivotal scene for Paxton and Devi is in episode 7, where Trent tells him that although he is in a fight with Eleanor, “[they] rile each other up, and then [they] love each other down.” He goes on to tell Paxton that being in a relationship this passionate is “the best high he’s ever had.” This serves two purposes. First, it makes Paxton realize that he no longer wants a meaningless relationship with Phoebe. More importantly, it signifies that this is the kind of love he deserves. Paxton will find it with someone, but it’s not what he has with Devi. In fact, that description embodies Ben and Devi’s relationship to a tee.

The season finale continues the trend of foreshadowing for Benvi and missed opportunities for Daxton. It is clear who Devi wants because she is fully willing to let Paxton go. He is about to fly off to Arizona and Devi has the chance to tell him that she doesn’t want to give up on them, except that’s not how she feels. The type of all-consuming love that they both want, the kind that makes your heart ache at the thought of not being with someone, is not what she has with Paxton. However, when Ben tells her he doesn’t want her to go and walks away, she glances back at him. Paxton is right in front of her but she doesn’t care. In that moment, heart-in-throat and stomach-in-knots, it dawns on her how deep her feelings are for Ben.

The “Perfect” Man vs the “Perfect” Man for Devi

Paxton’s arc closes out in a very satisfying way this season. He has stopped his womanizing ways, reshaped his identity, fully embraced Devi and has gotten into the school of his dreams.

With this growth, there has been an increasing sentiment that since Paxton is the “perfect” guy, he should end up with Devi. Ben, on the other hand, has much more growing to do and clear conflicts on the horizon for next season.

Have you ever stopped to ask why? Why would they have Paxton, the supposed main love interest, already be the “perfect” choice before the final season? It’s a common romantic trope designated for the person who is not the main love interest. Ben is the show’s deuteragonist, not Paxton. Ben and Devi’s arcs are complimentary, and in season 4 they will both grow together.

The more complicated journey has always been Ben and Devi’s, but it’s also the one that Devi wants. This goes back to the writer’s preferential attachment to Devi and Ben over Devi and Paxton. In season 1, Devi acts with romantic agency for the first time in her life when she kisses Ben. In season 2, Eleanor tells Ben (and the audience) that Devi wants him over Paxton, again underscoring her lack of agency in ending up with Paxton. In season 3, even though Devi’s dream has evolved, she still cannot envision a life without Ben in it. In contrast, the writers are very comfortable not showcasing romantic feelings towards Paxton in the season 3 finale. Devi’s agency is imperative in this final season. Ben is who she wants and Ben is who she'll get.

Ben’s Season 4 Arc and Why Devi Will Choose Ben

What is a deuteragonist and why is this imperative for Ben’s arc?

The purpose of a deuteragonist is to serve as a foil for the main character. They are someone with a close emotional bond to the protagonist, who helps them realize parts of themselves and advises the protagonist in times of turmoil. Sound familiar?

In season 3 episode 2, Devi promises Paxton that she won’t message the troll anymore. He believes her. When Ben is informed of the situation, he says that Devi is “naturally curious.” It’s an instinctual reflex of his to understand who she is and know that she won’t let it go. Paxton, on the other hand, is surprised to find out that she texted the troll. Throughout the season, Ben encourages her to pursue Des, and tells her the hard truth about Rhyah, knowing that it could jeopardize their relationship.

Ben’s arc in season 4 will be about letting go of expectations. In season 3 episode 6, him choosing to walk away from Devi does not signify him moving on, but him letting go of the expectation that they have to be together in order for him to be content with himself. Season 4 will follow this trend, as Ben and Devi come back to each other after they have found their sense of self. He needs to let go of the pressure to be like his father. This is another thread that Ben’s POV episode kickstarts, but it will re-emerge as he faces college decisions. Finally, he needs to let go of his façade and embrace love. This starts at the tail end of season 3.

Compare their conversation in the season 2 finale: 

Devi: So, be honest, were you in the girls' bathroom to help me, or was it for perv reasons, and I happened to be there?

Ben: Obviously, perv reasons. I don't care about you.

To their conversation in the season 3 finale:

Ben: It's just that, uh, I don't want you to go, David. 

Devi: Sure. Sure, sure, sure. 'Cause you need my annoying personality to fuel your competitive drive. 

Ben: I don't think your personality is annoying. Hey, I... I like your personality. 

Devi: You call me annoying twice a day. 

Ben: Yeah, as a joke. 

Devi: Okay, then why don't you want me to go? 

Ben: Because... I'll miss you. A lot.

Ben took huge strides by choosing to be vulnerable, but he’s not completely there yet. He is in love with Devi, but not willing to admit that. It is integral, not just for Ben and Devi’s relationship, but for Ben’s arc that he confesses his love for Devi. A love confession is happening, it’s only a matter of when.

As Ben learns over the course of season 4 to stop hiding his insecurity with barbs, to stop letting other people define who he should be, and to bare his heart to the woman he loves, he will embody the mental and emotional balance that Devi needs.

Devi will learn that her academic pursuits do not define her, paralleling Ben’s arc for season 4. She will also go on a journey of vulnerability as she learns to embrace change. Devi choosing to stay in the season 3 finale, while heartwarming, signifies that she is not ready to embrace new risks. When she is ready for a new chapter in her life, she will also accept the ways in which she has evolved and be willing to take risks to go after what she wants. Her appearing at Ben’s door with the “boink card” is a first step, but sex is not what she is really after. She is in love with Ben and given their similarities, loving him will be one of the greatest risks she takes. Devi embracing her love for Ben is Devi embracing her love for herself. It’s going to be a scary process for her but very empowering when it comes to fruition.

Devi asks her mom “what if nobody ever loves me because I’m always too much?” and her mom tells her that “one day [she] will find someone who loves [her] exactly as [she is]. Then, in the season finale, there is an intentional splicing to Ben and Devi gravitating towards each other as McEnroe proclaims that she already fits in. Their destiny is written in the stars. 

Paxton’s arc was actualized in season 3 to make way for the narrative tension of Ben and Devi being on parallel journeys of embracing themselves, while Devi comes to terms with what (and whom) she’s always wanted.

[montywithchildhoodtrauma]

Incorrect quotes because... Good Eclipse and everyone else needs therapy.

Lunar: Here you go, Moon, a nice hot cup of coffee! Moon: It's cold. Lunar: A nice cup of coffee. Moon: It's horrible! Lunar: Cup of coffee. Moon: I'm not sure if this even IS coffee. Lunar: C U P.

Bloodmoon: Why are you smiling? Rays: What? I can’t just be happy? Moon: Eclipse tripped and fell in the parking lot. Bloodmoon: *snorts*

Jigsaw: I don't know, it's not my cup of tea. Lunar: Well then whose is it? Jigsaw, staring at a cup of tea: I don't know!

Jigsaw: If we were in prison you guys would be like my bitches. Bloodmoon: ...

Eclipse: I have no respect for Santa. Don’t sneak in through the chimney and undermine my authority by bringing my family presents. Walk in through the front door and fight me like a man.

Rays: You know, I used to play back in my gory days. Sun: You mean glory days? Rays: Ah, that too.

Earth: You have an impressive pain tolerance. Rays: Thanks, it's the trauma.

Moon: Lunar, Rays, I love y’all and all, but can I ask what in the hell are you doing? Lunar, trying to stabilize a tower of folding chairs that Rays is sitting atop: Oh nothing much. Rays: I love you too :)

Moon: You disgust me. Jigsaw: eating a kitkat sideways I realize this and don’t care.

Eclipse: Okay, help me, please! Bloodmoon: Got two words for you. Eclipse: I bet they won't be helpful. Bloodmoon: Your problem. Eclipse: I was right.

Monty: Why are Moon and Earth sitting with their backs to each other? Lunar: They had a fight. Monty: Then why are they holding hands? Lunar: They get sad when they fight.

Moon: WHO THE FUCK- KC: Whoa, language! Moon: I speak fucking English! KC: …

Lunar: I found a note in one of my old word .docs that said Note to self: Get revenge on Rays. Lunar: Except I couldn't remember what I was supposed to get revenge for. Lunar: But I trusted my own judgment, so I went with it. Rays: Hmm… I don't know what you were supposed to get revenge for, either. Lunar: I can only assume you got what was coming to you. Not 100 percent sure, though. Rays: Well, whatever I did, I guess I deserved it. Lunar: Let that possibly be a lesson to you.

Jigsaw: finds half a watermelon at Whole Foods Jigsaw, holding it up for everyone to see: LIES!

Old Moon: We are gathered here today because someone- glares at Monty’s coffin -couldn’t stay alive! Monty: muffled FUCK YOU, LET ME OUT!

Sun: So, Moon and KC. Sun: According to this, you two are being accused of: Armed Robbery, Vandalism, Drug Abuse, Grand Theft Auto… Old Moon: We had a bad day. Sun: And… MURDER?! KC: It was a pretty bad day…

Earth: You believe me? Monty: Earth, you’re the last good person on this planet (and Lunar). I‘d believe cartoon birds braided your hair this morning.

Lunar: I will send my army to attack! Lunar: releases a dumpster of raccoons

Rays, singing (lost a bet): I don’t want a lot for Christmas, there is just one thing I need— Moon: A better family. Monty: A better therapist. KC: Mental stability. Lunar: clueless Bagels?

Rays: The shadow realm? No, I’m sending you to Gator Golf!

Earth: Look, Lunar, it's the third time this week you had a mental breakdown and its Monday.

KC: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast? Rays: Several traffic violations. Sun: Three counts of resisting arrest. Earth: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks. Moon: Also, that’s not our car.

Sun: Eclipse, I sense hostility. Eclipse: Good, because I hate you.

Eclipse: Be careful, I thrive on negative attention.

Moon and Sun are in a car teetering on the edge of a cliff Moon: oh my god, Sun, backwards! Sun: Really, Moon? I thought I might go forwards into the river, I thought that would be a fun thing to do.

Lunar: Why would you do that? Monty: Because I feel guilty. Moon: Guilt is a trick emotion. It’s put there by your parents to stop you from doing things that feel good.

Monty: Why do you act like we’re three year olds? Moon, exasperated: WHY?!? Moon points at Rays: YOU TRIED TO HYJACK A CAR! Moon points at Lunar: YOU NEARLY JUMPED 20 FEET OFF A CARPARK! Moon points at Monty: AND YOU ATE MULTIPLE DRIED LEAVES AND ROCKS OFF THE GROUND! Moon: AND YOU ASK ME WHY????

Monty, trying to comfort Rays: What's the problem? Anxiety? Low self-esteem? Obsessive thoughts of random arson? I've been there. Rays: I- what?

Rays: If the thought of something makes any of you giggle for longer than 15 seconds, you are to assume you’re not allowed to do it. -to his Moon, probably.

Sun: We got a free day now. What do you wanna do? Eat? Sleep? Nap? Snack?

Rays: That sounds like a terrible plan. Moon: Oh, we've had worse.

[jemmo]

when i read this post from @emotionallychargedtowel and they said this about the game jihyun plays with jaewon right at the end of episode 10:

“the show makes a strong case for normalizing expecting a lot from–and being willing to offer a lot to–one’s partner... In a very real sense, Ji Hyun is saying, “if you distance yourself from me, I’ll pursue you. If you pursue me, I won’t distance myself.””

i couldn’t help but think, humour, hope, that the universal queer song, one of my queer anthem, would work for this show. and by god, clearest blue by chvrches does.

“if ever i try to push away, you can just keep me, tell me, tell me, tell me you’ll meet me tell me, tell me you’ll keep me tell me, tell me you’ll meet me will you meet me more than halfway?”

bc this song is just so jaewon at the end of episode 9, thinking about jihyun, wanting to have him, but needing jihyun to ‘meet him more than halfway’. just like what was said above, we so often talk about boundaries and limits in relationships, dont give your whole self away, as if restraint is equated to self respect. but a relationship is exactly where you shouldnt feel bad for holding those expectations, or for wanting to offer more. jihyun says in that game “if you take two steps back, i will take three steps forward”; i will meet you more than halfway. i will not just meet you and wait for you to take that final step, to close that gap, i will not expect that of you when i can do that myself. and i love that neither jaewon’s distance nor jihyun’s pursuit feels vilified in the show. its understandable, we hate those that hurt their partners and push them away, but we equally shout at the screen when someone who’s been pushed away doesn’t just give in. we have that ‘move on, he’s not worth it, hes not worthy of it’ response. we flip between that and the ‘i can fix him’ mentality, but when its something like this situation with jaewon, jihyun is not a fool, he doesnt respect or value himself any less, for waiting, for being patient, but also being steadfast and determined in his feelings for jaewon. he gives more bc jaewon in that moment cannot meet him halfway, and so he takes those extra steps, continues to reach out and think of him and maintain open communication. he outright refutes jaewon’s attempts to distance, and i love that that is what ultimately brings them back together. bc what jaewon needs, as he says on the beach, “you said if i was having a hard time, i could reach out to you”, and is the poignant line from tms “if its hard for you, i’ll go to you”, is someone that he can expect more from. he has perpetually played the nice guy role, the never wanting to upset anyone, always mature, always there to support others role, and what he needs is the selfishness to not only think about his owns feelings like the therapist says, but the selfishness to expect more of those around him, and have someone he can depend on, someone that will go that extra step when getting there was hard enough.

i really really couldn’t recommend listening to this song and reading the lyrics enough bc there’s rawness and honesty and desperation in how simple and to the point they are, and i know they can’t do it bc heartstopper beat them to it but that final kiss could easily be played along to the climax of this song and it wouldve broken me all over again, so i’ll just end another favourite part of the lyrics that i think work perfectly;

“just another time that i go down, but you are keeping up, holding to a hope you’ll undermine, never to be reversed”

[thebluemoonjune]

The Elegance of Resilience Chapter 6: Daddy Issues

Chapter 6: Daddy Issues

Summary:

Father continues to berate Michonne then Rick argues with her Father.Rick and Michonne's disagreement about her father not talking about pregnancy. Rick needs air meet Daryl. Michonne and her parents argue (with dad mostly) about Rick, pregnancy, wedding, Mike, the children, her independence. Rick and Michonne have honest conversations. Michonne Rick and Sasha hosts a get-together.

Notes:

This kind of serves as a trigger warning for people who have experienced emotional abuse.

Michonne didn’t answer Reynard as fast as he would have liked. She withdrew from Rick's touch and swallowed hard, looking down, locked in a cycle of self-doubt.

“Michonne-”

“Amélie. Go on…”

Reynard cut Rick off, keeping his cold, dead gaze on his daughter. His voice was stern but soft. Her jaw trembled, making it hard to speak. She was wringing her hands under the table, trying to regain her composure. 

“To be better-”

“I can’t hear you, Amélie.”

“To be better… I have to be better. Don’t make foolish mistakes, and give people room to talk. If I can’t honour you, do not shame you.”

“Reynard, please.” Marie pleaded to her husband.

“You disappoint me, dearest.” He placed his arm on the table and rubbed the crown of his head, as if to tell her he was fed up with her nonsense. He went on, however.

“Did I not give everything that others less fortunate than yourself would kill for? You went to the best schools, wore the best clothes, ate the best food... But most importantly, I taught you values. I taught you to work hard, to strive for greatness, to respect yourself... You are a woman and you are black, I made sure you never forgot that… I made sure you were the best, that you were number one in all your endeavours... Let me ask you this, Dearest. When was the last time you practised, hmm?”

“I take cases here and there!” Her voice rose hysterically.

“Watch your tone with me, girl.” His icy stare bore into her. “You have not practised in three months, and three months prior to that... Can’t find the time to take a case, but all the time to get pregnant... You can’t pay your bills by taking a case every three months… Living off your trust fund, no doubt.”

“What? Do you want to cut me off?" She let out a lengthy sigh, stretching her right hand out on the dining table, not looking at her father's emotionless face.

“No, nor would it be my place. If I had my way, you wouldn’t have had it in the first place, but alas, your mother will always have her way, even if it means to undermine me and spoil you... I have been the best father I could be. While your mother wanted to be your friend, I worked tirelessly and thanklessly to ensure you were the best version of yourself… I remember the first time you became valedictorian. You were four, and you came running, yelling, ‘Daddy! Daddy, look!'. You were so proud of yourself, and I was proud of you.” He had the slightest smile as he reminisced.

“It was that day I knew you were destined to be even better than me... Yet here you are. It hurts me to see you settle into this ball of mediocrity. How very disappointing.” 

Her self-esteem began to collapse like a brittle sandcastle, damaged by the never-ending waves of negative thoughts crashing on the shores of her mind. Michonne let out a hollow laugh, and the tears she'd managed to hold back threatened to flow once more. She refused to cry in front of him for a second time, and she shot up from the table without saying anything, heading upstairs to her bedroom.

“Sweetheart, wait!” Marie rushed to meet her daughter.

Rick knew he should have gone after Michonne, but he had some choice words for the man before him. His muscles flicked angrily in the jaw, and his eyes gleamed with ruthless fire. Reynard challenged his gaze, smiling maliciously.

“Say what you want to say, boy.” Reynard popped another bottle of wine open and poured himself a glass.

“Do you get off on hurting your daughter?”

“What? Of course not.” His brows shot up at the insinuation. “If anything, she gets off on going against me. You aren’t the first; she did it with Mike as well, but she understood eventually. With a bit of tough love to push her, she’ll come around; my Amélie always does.”

His voice was much calmer with Rick, as if he wasn’t worth any extra energy. He tossed his wine around in the glass before taking a sip.

“But I have to say, Richard, Michael was a doctor; he had no children nor any long-winded drama or anger issues; however, I knew he wasn’t good enough—not for my daughter. He was weak, complacent, and selfish. Even when she accepted his proposal, I knew that she knew, it would never work. She was only twenty-two; she was driven, intelligent, and kind, with a deep love for life. My Amélie was destined for greatness, and she still is. Which confuses me as to why she chose you of all people. It’s been more than four years. It worries me that she might actually be serious about this long term.”

Rick blinked quickly, trying to grasp the incredible scene in front of him, his mind attempting to reconcile reality with the shock.

“You’re not serious, are you? It ain’t crossed your mind that we might actually love each other. I love her, she loves me. We're gonna get married. We got two children together. Thank you for delivering the news about the third, by the way.”

“You're very welcome, Richard. I think it’s a testament to your relationship that my daughter didn't tell you. Everything isn’t all dandy, as you say.”

“You're saying that she doesn’t love me?”

“No! No! My daughter doesn’t have a callous bone in her body. I’m sure her feelings for you are genuine, no matter how fleeting they are. What I am saying is that there must be a reason she hasn’t told you; she’s three months along, as I understand it to be. You didn’t even realise. You say you love my daughter, but I don’t believe that. I don’t think she believes it either.”

Reynard relished the simple excitement of living, savouring each sip of wine. It was as though his senses were heightened by his enjoyment. He couldn't stop smiling; his smile was dangerous but genuine, as if happiness had taken up residence on his face. Rick's face flushed bright red. He smashed his hand against the table, the piercing crackling echoing throughout the room, scattering pieces of broken glass and the remnants of his rage.

“I love Michonne; I’m in love with her whether you like it or not! She knows that!”

“If you loved her, you would have waited until you had your divorce instead of making her a glorified mistress. You wouldn’t have gotten her pregnant out of wedlock. How much has my Amélie sacrificed for you?”

Rick paced towards Reynard, the force of his footsteps a testament to the restless anger coursing through his veins. His finger pointed directly into Reynard's face as he cornered him. The older man smirked as he poured more wine into his glass and slanted back into his seat.

“What the hell do you know? You don't want her happy! You're gonna make it seem like you want what’s best for her; it’s all bullshit! You just want to control her. You’re gonna sit here and act like you care, but the truth is, you don’t like that you're losing control. It ain’t sitting right with you that someone else got influence over her!”

Reynard nodded enthusiastically, and his eyes grew wide with excitement as Rick invaded his space. He turned to meet his angry gaze.

“You said all of that just to ignore my question... Richard, I think that part of you knows...”

“What?”

“That part of you knows that you’re not good enough for my little girl. Part of you doubts the sanctity of your relationship. Part of you is afraid that one day she’s going to realise that you're not worth it.”

Rick stumbled back, briefly losing his footing, his body recoiling as if struck by an invisible force by the unexpected allegation levelled at him. As a prolonged moment of silence took hold, his breath stopped, caught in his throat. He looked at the man, trying to find the right words, before turning on his heel and walking up the stairs to his and Michonne's bedroom. Outside the door, he could hear two women talking in French. He didn’t bother to knock before he entered.

“Ah, tu es là, Richard! I’ll go clean up downstairs.” She kissed his cheek. “Amélie, prends ton temps. D'accord? Je t'aime.” She gave her child one last look.

And with that, Marie left, giving the couple their space. Rick walked to Michonne, whose eyes were red and puffy. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t maintain eye contact. She rubbed the backs of her crossed arms gently. 

“We need to talk, Michonne.”

“Do we have to do this right now?”

“The baby thing? Yes! Yes, we do.” His voice had dropped an octave and was gritty.

“What do you want me to say, Rick?”

“How about you start with how long you’ve known, Chonne?”

“A little over a month...”

“A little over a month. And you didn’t think that I should know we’re gonna have another baby? I should’ve known! I should’ve been the first one to know!”

“I had my reasons, Rick! You know I did…”

“And yet it’s those reasons that concerns me! You made an active choice to hide your pregnancy from me for reasons I can’t even begin to comprehend… Your mother knows, and your father knows enough that he can throw it in our fucking faces! Let me guess: Sasha knows as well, which would make me the last to know. Ain’t that just fucking something?”

“I didn’t tell you because of everything going on. Lori, Judith, and the stress of everything else! You had so much on your plate. I was waiting for the right time.”

“And when was the right time, hmm?”

“Rick…”

She couldn’t answer, nor did he want her to. She reached out to grab his arm, but he pulled away from her, and her shoulders slumped. The room felt suffocating; the air was heavy with an oppressive sadness that clung to every corner.

“The truth is, you don’t trust me to be man enough and deal with my shit. Like I’m a ticking time bomb waiting to go off. I see it in how you treat me when I deal with other people. I know I got my issues, but you got no right like I’m some broken toy. Part of you agrees with your father-”

“That’s not true!”

“We both know it’s true! You’ve never defended me in front of your father. Not once.” 

He rubbed his hand over his face after watching a tear fall from Michonne's eyes. She held his hand.

“Rick, baby, I don’t want to fight.”

“I don’t wanna fight either. I don’t wanna say something I can’t take back, so I’m gonna go.”

“Where? Baby, it’s late!”

“Daryl’s”

“That’s an hour's drive-”

“I know. I’m a grown man… Look, I ain't gonna go on some rave, okay? This thing, with your father and the baby, I just need time to get my thoughts straight.”

He took his phone, his baseball cap, and his jacket and left. Michonne sat on her bed and hugged her knees to her chest, rocking back and forth, seeking solace in the rhythm of her own desolation as she thought of all that happened tonight.

…

“Hey, man. You didn’t call.”

“You got someone coming over or something.”

“No. What’s going on? Trouble in paradise?”

“My father-in-law’s in town. Let's just say we had an oh-so-colourful dinner…” 

Rick threw himself on the couch, putting his arm over his face to cover his eyes from the light. Daryl went to the kitchen to grab two beers to join him.

“Michonne’s pregnant. Found out tonight.”

“What? You ain’t want it?”

“That ain’t the problem. Her father is the one who let the cat out the bag. She hid it.”

“She ain’t want it?”

“It’s not that... I know she thinks I can’t handle another kid. And not just another kid; she doesn’t think me reliable at all. She’s gonna start showing soon. How long was she gonna hide it for?”

“She said that?”

“No, but I know it.”

“Rick-”

“If we didn’t have the boys, I got no doubt she would have left me a long time ago. I know it.”

“Rick, that girl loves you.”

“Yeah. Well, love ain’t everything; you, of all people, should know that.”

“Leah and Michonne ain’t the same. Come on, Rick. You ain’t exactly been the best partner, Rick. This ain’t the 1950s; if she wanted to leave, trust me, she would, especially if her daddy been begging her for years. Them kids ain’t gonna stop shit. Stay the night; clear your head, but you're gonna go home in the morning.”

“Hey, Michonne wanted to have a small get-together on Friday; you coming? It’s for the weekend.”

“Alright, just text me the time... And Rick, some parents, they don’t got to beat you to damage you.” 

Daryl stood up and went to his room, leaving behind his best friend. Rick took out his wallet to retrieve a photograph from within. It was of him and Michonne with the boys at their christening. This is a special occasion for both of their families. He and Michonne weren't religious, but it was a custom shared by both of their families, which was unusual for the two. Both of their parents were in the back, bathing in the joyous atmosphere of the blessing and celebration of their children. He traced his fingers along the old photograph, a bittersweet caress that brought memories to life. His fingers lingered on its surface, as if, by touching it, he could somehow find solace within it.

…

“Bonjour Amélie. Comment vas-tu? I see Richard hasn’t returned… Do you want to talk about it?”

“Morning, mummy…” Her lips pulled together into a half-formed smile.

“Darest, I spoke to your father last night... Don’t take it to heart; he’s a stubborn old fool. He only wants what's best for you.”

“Best for me? Is insulting me and the father of my children, is what's best for me?”

“Amélie, Your father has his flaws, but he’s sincere. I like Richard, but let’s not act as if he had done right by you.”

“Why are you entertaining the girl’s foolishness? What life has she lived to be able to question me?” Reynard said, entering the kitchen.

He was wearing a maroon Ralph Lauren sweater with a grey shirt underneath and long khaki pants. He wore his glasses today, and he carried his laptop and iPad with him.

He seems to be occupied for the day. That means he’ll be out of my hair for a while. Should I bring the boys back?

“Good morning, my sweet. You look handsome; you were in rare form last night.”

“Is breakfast finished?”

“Oui, hungry?”

He didn’t come last night; he slept out. I get he’s angry, but to take that shit out on me! And he wonders why I acted the way I did. Shameless man!

 “Amélie?”

I wonder what time he’s coming back. We still need to talk, but that temper! Still, I’m not completely in the right either, and he honestly held it together pretty well. Then again, he never really lost his shit with me, even last night.

“Amélie!”

“What is it?”

“Did you not hear your mother calling you, girl?”

“I’m not doing this shit today.” Michonne began to walk away

“What was that girl?”

“Look, I don’t have the time. Rick didn’t come back last night, and I can’t with you right now. I'm tired of this.” 

“Let’s not do this, you two!”

“You seem to forget yourself, Amélie.” Reynard ignored Marie.

“The father of your grandchildren left late last night because of your antics; he isn’t back yet... Dad, it's not fair what you're doing to my family!”

“Your family? Am I not your family? It seems being away from us for so long has rotted your brain. Even talking back to me, have you lost your mind?”

“No, I haven’t!” Her words shattered into the room like shards of glass. “Do you know why the twins aren't here? I left them with Sasha because I didn't want them here with you! I have somethings to get off my chest, and you will listen.”

Michonne could see her father fuming, but he remained silent, his arms crossed hard across his chest. It was as though he was waiting to see how far she'd go with her 'performance'. Sweat rivulets formed across her body, and time seemed to slow as the weight of the situation pressed on her. Under his piercing gaze, she could sense her courage wavering. She was adamant, however, knowing that if she didn't express what she wanted now, she might not get another chance. After Rick left, she thought long and hard about everything, especially Rick’s words. She hardly slept last night, knowing that he was out and angry at that.

“I am an adult, capable of making my own decisions. And though they aren’t always the best, they are my decisions to make.” She took a deep breath. “I moved to Atlanta to be my own person. I didn’t want to be attached to your name anymore; in everything I did, I had to be careful not to tarnish you because, no matter what, I was only seen as  Reynard Hawthorne's daughter. ‘If I can’t honour you, do not shame you.’ Those were the words that kept ringing in my head every single day! Every part of my life you controlled. What clothes I wore, what languages I spoke,  what instruments I played, and my likes and dislikes—you even controlled who I was dating!”

“I already know you chose Michael just to go against me. You did it then, and you’re doing it now. But I do not hold it against you; all children challenge their parents, and all children rebel. You carried on that charade with that buffoon for almost two years just to spite me, but in the end, you left him at the altar. I raised you, I taught you, and I made you who you were. In this world, I know you better than you know yourself. I do not hold your little outburst to heart, so quit while you are ahead, lest it stop being cute.”

“I did stay with Mike to spite you, and I don’t regret it.”

“You don’t regret it?” Reynard asked rhetorically, “Dearest, I told Richard that you didn’t have a callous bone in your body; I lied. I knew that I lied because you are mine; you are my daughter, and so you are just like me... But if you must defy me, at least go all the way. In the end, you chickened out because you didn’t have the gall. You picked a battle you couldn't win, and I knew you couldn’t do it. You see, Amélie, you are your mother’s as much as you are mine. You have her unyielding heart.”

He walked up to her and took her hands in his. He had a smile on his face, which caught Michonne off guard. His ability to change emotions at the drop of a hat always left her speechless.

“Dearest, you are not experienced enough to navigate the world on your own. I have no doubt that you love Richard; however, just like with Mike, I know this will not work. You think you do as well, since there are feelings involved, but I know better. Have I ever been wrong in the past? You tried it before, but in the end, you walked away like I said you should. Dearest, you are stubborn; you got that from me. What I do is to ensure that your bullheaded nature does not lead you astray.”

He softly tapped her palms, as if to offer her comfort.  When she looked at her father, she was met with that expression. He was smiling, but he had that expression on his face. That very look had haunted her throughout her life. That empty, piercing look probed her soul; what it was searching for, she didn't know. She was looking around his face, as if the shell in front of her was hiding a monster. A firm lump bound her neck, making breathing difficult.

She grew extremely cold and jerked her outstretched hands back, afraid to let him touch them.

“I’m glad you know I love him. This isn’t some short-term thing. He’s the one I want. I knew that the first day I laid my eyes on him. I didn’t care about the consequences then, and I don’t care now. I don’t care what anyone has to say! Am I a bad person? Yeah! Maybe! I met a married man with two children. I wanted him, I got him, and I don’t regret any of it! I love him! I love him! I love him! And I’m going to marry him! And we’re going to have another baby! And I don’t care what you or her have to say about it!” 

Her heart was racing, and her breath was ragged in her throat. It was the first time she denounced her parents. She spoke so quickly that it almost became hard to tell what was said. The face that had held a smile now showed nothing. Not anger or disgust; it was now just expressionless. He walked even closer, barely giving her any room to breathe. Marie, who stood silently the entire time, felt a presence other than theirs. She looked towards the entrance of the kitchen.

“Michonne…”

“Rick, you’re back…”

He walked to her and took her hand to leave, not paying any mind to the people in the kitchen.

“Where are we going?”

“Away from here…We're gonna have to talk, right?”

“Yeah…”

…

The couple sat on the park bench, taking in the breeze. A radiant smile swept across their faces, and their eyes glowed with electrifying excitement.

It feels good to be away from everything. It feels freeing.

After last night and this morning, this was a welcomed change of pace for Michonne, and she suspected the same for Rick as well. She turned to look at him, only to find him staring at her with eyes much calmer than they were last night.

“Rick I—”

“I'm sorry, I—”

They laughed a bit, understanding what the other was going to say. Michonne blocked her giggle and said,

“You go first.”

“Okay… Chonne I’m sorry about how I left last night. I just didn’t want to say the wrong thing…I understand why you didn’t say anything; I do. I know I ain’t exactly in the best place mentally, and I know your father; he doesn’t exactly make it any easier.” He smiled sadly.

“What you said last night, about me not defending you... You were right. I just—things with my dad are so complicated; I don’t even know how to explain it!”

Rick clasped their hands together, pulling her to him.

“Sometimes parents don’t got to hit their kids to damage ‘em; Daryl told me that… He may have raised you and cared about you, but that man isn’t a good father; it’s time you stop acting like he is.” He pulled her hand to his lips. “I thought about our family all last night, and I want us all to work. I need us all to work, but if he can’t be better, I’m sorry, baby; I don’t need him around my kids or us... I overheard what you told him; in fact, I was eavesdropping a while before I entered the room. Does that make you mad?”

“Kind of, but I'll get over it.” He chuckled at her.

“Darling, you are enough. I need you to know that.”

Her lips trembled as she tried to stop the overwhelming emotion. She managed to form a slight smile that gave way to what she was trying to overcome, although one couldn’t tell by looking at her face that both her hands, even the one he held, were shaking.

“What I said—didn’t it change what you thought about me? How you see me?”

“No, sweetheart, it doesn't. If anything, I’m relieved; you were too perfect, and you still are to me. You have the right to be selfish; ain’t nothing wrong with that. Everyone makes mistakes. I’ve done made a whole lot; it’s a wonder you're still with me. I’ve said it before: what happened with Mike wasn’t great, but you saved him and yourself from what was gonna be a terrible marriage... You’re not a bad person for wanting to live for yourself—as yourself.”

“I think most people would disagree with everything I’ve done to this point.”

“You don’t need to care about everyone else. We just have to care about each other and be the best that we can be for our children…Chonnie, you're not some homewrecker either; we both made a choice, and my marriage had no saving to be had... I was happy with what you said to your old man. Not just because you stood up to him, but hear that you truly want to be with me despite how messed up I am or everything with Lori or that we got kids; that you want me.”

“You are messed up, but so am I. The truth is, you're getting better. You were a good man before me and Lori, and you’re a good man after, but I’m—what I’ve got, there’s no fixing that.”

He wiped her tears from her cheeks, tracing his fingertips along her bottom lashes. As she buried her face in the flesh of his neck, he wrapped her in his warm embrace and tenderly kissed the top of her head. She had managed to deceive him for so long while suffering so much.

Four years, and I didn't know. You deserve better.

“Next week, I want you to join me in my sessions with Dr. Job. Okay? I won’t take no for an answer.”

“Okay.”

“We’re gonna be just fine, darling. I know it, and if we’re not, we’ll make it work. Not just for us, but for our family. It ain’t gonna be easy; we'll do it though, and we’ll be strong for each other. From now on, we live how we choose.”

“I love you...”

“I love you more. ”

The pair was in a better emotional state after having a fully open discussion. They picked up the boys and decided to spend the remainder of the day having fun as a family. When they got back home, they fully expected an argument between the two sides; however, they kept their words limited. Rick suspected it had to do with the twins being present. The same happened the next day as well.

…

Friday evening came quickly. Michonne, Rick and Sasha had rented out a guest house for the weekend, where Maggie, Daryl and a few others were present. They were going to bring the kids, but Marie had offered to babysit them. It was a peace offering, no matter how temporary it was Rick and Michonne agreed. Maggie rode with them. 

When they got there, Sasha, Daryl and Michonne's friend, Rosita, were already there, along with Rick’s friends Carol and Morgan, who would arrive the following day. Michonne and Maggie hopped out of the car, leaving Rick to bring the bags in. Daryl, who was smoking outside, went to help his friend. Sasha and Rosita, hearing the car, came out to see.

“Heyyyy bitchessss!” Sasha yelled at the top of her lungs.

Michonne and Maggie hugged everybody around them, their passionate actions a tribute to the overwhelming happiness that flowed from their spirit. Their laughter resonated like bells in the air, a melody of pure delight that raised everybody's mood.

“Where’s Abe?”

“He’s staying with Noah till his sister comes to take over tomorrow. Until then, I’m free whores!” She laughed, pushing out her tongue. She already had a shot in her hand.

“How much have you had to drink?”

“She had six shots!” Rosita made it known before Sasha could lie.

“We’re here for a break from life; what the hell did you expect? Come drink with me!”

“I can’t.” Maggie shut her down

“Chonne can’t either.”

“What?”

Everybody other than Michonne and Daryl watched Rick as he took the last bag to head inside, confused as to why he was speaking for her. Maggie looked at Michonne while the rest fluctuated between the duo, putting two and two together.”

“Noooo…” Rosita covered her mouth.

“You guys got knocked up again! Whatever bug you two have, you better keep it to yourselves! I’m not playing!”

“Would that be so bad?”

“Shhh, Mags; he may not be here, but he might hear you. He’s been begging for a girl!”

The air ignited with an electric charge, such that everyone in attendance swirled with eagerness for what was to come, infusing the occasion with an irresistible energy.

“Guys, come inside!” Rick called out to the girls.

[sneezemonster15]

Do Sasuke stans who also hate Naruto realize that they are undermining their own favourite character by hating on Naruto? Because Naruto is the only person Sasuke truly values, likes and respects outside of his family. And for several reasons. Naruto is unlike anyone he has ever met or known. Naruto gives him the emotional security and serenity that absolutely no one else is able to give him, perhaps not even his own family, not his brother at least. Sasuke is all shades of a mentally and emotionally thriving person when in Naruto's company. He laughs, he smiles, he becomes annoyed, and naughty, and flirtatious and sensual and affectionate and possessive and protective and devotional and self sacrificing. He shares an intimacy with him that he doesn't share with anyone else. He tells him out loud he is his closest friend, his one and only. Itachi had to literally come back from the dead for Sasuke to tell him how much he hated it when Itachi tapped his forehead and ignored him, lol. But with Naruto, he is so clearly vulnerable.

The very perceptive Oro specifically says that being with Naruto is 'changing Sasuke'. What he means by it is that being with Naruto is HEALING Sasuke. And if that happens enough, he would be of no use to Oro so he needs to separate Sasuke from Naruto. Sasuke loves Naruto. He wouldn't listen to Itachi or Kakashi or any of the kages or Oro or anyone else, but bring out Naruto and he would have Sasuke's undivided attention. Sasuke calls Naruto by his specially given pet name, he is so extra protective of him, dare you to pluck even a single hair on Naruto's head around Sasuke and see if he doesn't deck you in the head with almighty force.

Like yes, I have talked about this before but my point is Naruto is so important to Sasuke, for reasons that are part of Sasuke's own characterisation. Even if you discount the ending which I agree was affected where Sasuke was written to give up entirely on his goals for Naruto's vision, Sasuke shows such fondness and respect for Naruto throughout the manga regardless. If you really 'know' your favourite character, you must have been able to tell, no?

Like hate Naruto how much ever you want, for whatever ridiculous, highly biased and quite colored non reasons you want but you simply can't ignore the FACT that Sasuke thinks very highly of him.

So I reiterate. What does that say about your understanding of your favourite character? And your reasons to stan Sasuke?

It's a rhetorical question fyi. So either Sasuke is a brainless drooling idiot to like Naruto if you think Naruto is such a sucky dude, or maybe something is wrong with your understanding of Sasuke. Either way, you need to rethink your stuff, no?

But you should know one thing, whatever shit you think and say about Naruto, your fav Sasuke would not only disagree with you, but also get annoyed with you (like he did with Sakura) and probably genjutsu your ass for it. Like he did to Sai. You know I am right. Heh.

[welcome-to-clouds-cuckooland]

about my story, "ryan: sins of the father"!

this is a story about a boy named ryan, finally facing the crimes of his father. for so long he idolized his father, saw him as perfection, but slowly that image will unravel. along the way, he'll unravel himself, as well. can ryan ever forgive himself? can ryan ever be a good person? can ryan be a good brother? can ryan be a good lover? let's find out!

note: this is a multi-fandom fic, where characters will be from and travel to various movies/shows/games. the main characters are undertale aus/headcanons; ryan himself and his brother are sans and papyrus aus respectively, and their father is gaster. they're not meant to be entirely accurate (i mean, for one, it's unlikely that canon sans and papyrus are fallen humans at all.), they've always just been my own interpretations of the characters. with heavy projection. with that in mind, i should also state that this has been in the works since 2015-2016 or so, so it's pretty self-indulgent and cringe but i like it that way!!! i've projected too heavily onto this and i'm constantly brainrotting it so i can't just abandon it!!!

the star of the show, my behated /neg, it's ryan gallagher! the 23 year old manfailure, whose personality i would describe but it's almost 7,000 words long what the fuck ryan!!!! (writing him was a pain holy shit) but to sum it up he's a little messed up lying bitchface (explodes him with my mind) i will insult him a lot but i also projected onto him extremely heavily so idk if that says a lot about me or not. um. it's a semi-joke and it's been long-running that i hate him (i have extremely strong feelings about him /neg) but it's (mostly) not really serious. this guy needs therapy but he's terribly in denial and he is committed to destroying himself and all of his relationships before that happens 🙄 like just stop lying lmao (i am a hypocrite) his backstory is not written yet because. i'm fucking terrified of how long that's going to take and how long it's going to be because i'm planning for all of the stuff that felix and wiley's backstories missed (they're kind of written from their perspective but also not because third person??? idk man) and holy shit. if you thought his personality was bad. or if you thought it wasn't as bad as the trigger warnings made it seem. they're mostly for the backstory. as a sans au he fucking lost it and killed frisk, but that exploded his timeline so he panicked and absorbed the souls, and he's here now ig do not go to his toyhouse i am begging

aaaaa it's him!!!!! felix gallagher!!!! the bestest ever <333 i love him sm /p this is ryan's younger brother, 22 years old and loving life!!! he's optimistic, loves to help, and totally doesn't have any sort of anxieties rooted from his brother manipulating his life!!! (he does) he seems quite confident and independent, but he feels like ryan's babying can undermine his individuality. at the same time, he doesn't like to think such things of his brother, surely ryan knows what's best for him? as a papyrus au, he befriended flowey and gained the courage to fight back against frisk and absorb the seven souls to fix his glitched timeline, but that backfired, so here he is now! felix toyhouse :]

aislinn gallagher, felix and ryan's mother, dearly missed ;-; she may be gone, but her absence has left a void in many a heart, and her short-lived presence in the gallaghers' lives has affected them deeply. visit her in the garden?

this is wiley gallagher, he's 43 years old and i might joke about how much ryan is a terrible person but i'm serious when i say this man is literally AWFUL. like. i'm not kidding. he has not a single redeeming quality and not in the "haha silly" kind of way i mean. i hope literally nobody likes him because actually. what the fuck. i wrote him to be an irredeemable disgusting piece of shit and he's staying that way. there are sympathetic aspects to his story because otherwise it'd be a bit boring y'know but like. straight up. he's not a good person. he's the villain for a reason lmao uhhhh ramble aside he's a scientist who hates his sons and wants to reach the edge of scientific possibility, whether or not that destroys the universe he doesn't really care (great guy). he just wants to be the smartest dick to have ever lived, and hold all of the scientific knowledge ever or something like that. egotistical with an overinflated sense of what he's capable of. writing his backstory actually made me sick like /srs i took "gaster is associated with the devil" and ran with it i'd advise only to go to his toyhouse to send him hate.

so r:sotf was originally not even a multifandom story, it was just an undertale multiverse story, which is why there's such a focus on undertale characters. so here's chara, flowey/asriel, and frisk dreemurr, and the other fallen children (noah, icarus, and madeline)!!! i've never liked how the fandom interprets chara personally, like the whole "chara is an evil demon child" or "chara is abusive and hateful" like. this is a ten year old. what the fuck. like yeah most of the ut fandom especially back then were children but why do children hate children lmao anyway. chara and flowey have issues to work out but they're getting through it!!! i believe in them. read more about my interpretations of chara, flowey/asriel, and frisk on deviantart (since i can't upload them to toyhouse)!!!

meet ginger clair and jacinta bardales, two rivals who are some of the first people that ryan meets once his (dead) timeline kicks him out!! the girlypop and gamer goth girl hate each other oh no :[ the 19 and 20 year olds have a bit of a history with each other and ryan's getting caught between the crossfire ginger is glittery pink mr beast and jacinta is matpat if he was a goth lesbian (i'm so sorry) i'm very normal about women here's pink toyhouse and purple toyhouse yeah

this isn't hello kitty, it's oisin kelly, silly!!! i saw hello kitty goth fashion once and knew that i needed to make an oc that was just. that. and here he is!! ryan meets the 22 year old in the world after ginger and jacinta's, where he also finds felix and flowey. oisin is hiding them from the government!!! yippee! oisin likes baking and cake decorating, and sees a lot of potential in ryan (i don't see it but you do you) and bow's trying to support him which is nice :] not worth it though me when hello kitty on toyhouse????

yes that is the ok ko character base, because edward chen is an ok ko oc!!!! (ok ko is such a silly show you should watch it NOW!!!!) his hero name is multi-magician and this 23 year old is very chill, maybe even stoned. (you know those characters where they're ambiguously high. yeah) yes ryan and felix go to the ok ko universe and there they meet edward who is very cool and just wants to make sure these two sillies don't hurt themselves. (particularly ryan because he's very concerning holy shit) the scar on his face he got from climbing a fence and subsequently falling. he tells a different story every time and he thinks it's cool and funny edward toyhouse be upon ye

last but not least!!! here we have elara samson, from the world of the spectacular spider-man. she's the 18 year old vigilante, who thinks spidey is immature and naive, and they're quite jaded and vengeful in general. sometimes they're on the same side as spidey, sometimes she's against him! just depends on the job. elara toyhouse moment

that's all, folks!! as i said in the beginning of this post, this has been in the works for like. what. 8 years now??? time is such a fucked concept wtf :[ and it's still being worked on!!! can you believe it??? but this is definitely the story i'm most passionate about, and i'm excited to finally be posting about it!! i'd love to see what you guys think :0

[clouds-of-wings]

I’ll chalk it up to Amy being angry at Sheldon for not being supportive of their son. I headcanon that Amy buried Sheldon’s old shirts somewhere in the dirt. She didn’t get rid of them but put them in a place where he least likely to look.

Doesn't really make it better to me tbh :/ It's just not how people should treat one another. If she's this ashamed of his "childish" interests, why did she marry him? If I felt like my hypothetical bf/husband was ashamed to be seen with me dressed the way I like to dress (excluding really formal events, I can understand not wanting to show up at a funeral with someone dressed in a comic book shirt), I would seriously question whether the relationship has a future. And if he got rid of the clothes he doesn't like to see on me behind my back... yikes. Very controlling behaviour.

It's not about the clothes themselves (though messing with someone else's personal property behind their back seems like a major boundary violation to me too), it's about her ranking superficial respectability over accepting and loving him the way he is, prioritizing society's rules over his (harmless) self-expression. It's often portrayed as cute and not so serious when a woman does it to a man, but honestly... not great either.

(This admittedly maybe bothers me more than it would bother a lot of other people because this kind of stuff used to be done to me so much (both the looks-policing and the "throwing away my stuff behind my back"), so I'm really allergic to it. But honestly, am I wrong? I think it's really not okay even if some people are willing to tolerate it - they still don't like it. And maybe it's easier to tolerate when you see it in a sitcom than if it happened IRL, but honestly... that's only because unacceptable behaviour is so normalized in sitcoms. It's like the way you may stop noticing a bad smell if it's always there.)

And thirdly, I think Amy policing Sheldon's dressing choices plays into this sitcom trope of women as scolds and killjoys who always try to cage men's free, fun-loving spirits. In TBBT I liked that Amy was quite eccentric herself and more nerdy than any of the other characters except for Sheldon. She dressed in a very unfashionable way that made Penny and Bernadette tear their hair out in frustration, had weird interests (remember her Victorian Christmas party? And the basket weaving workshop? She was fireworks!) and found Sheldon more, not less attractive due to his unusual personality (like in this, one of my favourite Shamy scenes). When she objected to his behaviour, it was usually about something that actually hurt others or she was voicing her own unmet needs (emotional, sexual or otherwise). I kinda hate to see that undermined and flattened into another relationship where the man is an immature child and the woman is the fun police. Amy and Sheldon's nerd4nerd romance was one of a kind.

[fireemblems24]

It's funnier cause Dimitri himself outright state that he doesn't really believe much in Serios faith or that Sothis will come to save them during his Goddess tower scene. He sees religion and faith more of a comfort/security that some people rely on (i.e a support system). And I think the major difference is that Dimitri tries to look at the bigger picture/different perspectives the best he can. Ladlegard on the other hand believes that everyone can and should be like her and be self-reliant and if they can't, then it's their own fault. The closest she gets to trying to understand different perspectives is during her support with Manuela but it's kinda undermined by Manuela seeing Ladlegard as a goddess. It's very much the collectivist (Dimitri) vs individualist (Ladlegard) mindset.

You're spot on. I think a lot of people miss that, for Dimitri, he's not laser-focused on something like faith or Church of Serios, but just the concept of support in general. This reflects in his endings too, with him more than anyone else focusing on building government systems to support people who need it most.

I don't necessarily think Edelgard thinks everyone should be like her, but that those who aren't are not worthy of advancing. She highly respects talent and wants to promote talent once its already shown itself and does show some capacity to work around things with Linhardt. What she fails at, in my opinion, is fostering talent in those who have lacked the opportunity to show it or value talents outside ones that can get easily graded.

It would be really interesting to examine Dimitri representing a more Eastern mind-set of collective good vs Edelgard representing a more Western mind-set of individual ability. That might help explain why she seems better received in the Western nations.

[tarnishedxknight]

♡ [ for the whole gang! ]

{out of dalmasca} Yay! Everybody gets some positivity and love! Okay let's go. =)

For every " ♡" I get I'll give tip on how to win my muse's heart:

BASCH

Be understanding of his traumas. Depending on where he’s at in his timeline, Basch has suffered a number of traumas his reactions to which are things he sees as shameful or weaknesses. Panic attacks, nightmares, and things of that nature were, in his time, not seen the same way they are today. He often had to hide them, downplay them, pretend like nothing was wrong… and this was exhausting to him. In addition, when people did see him in a compromised state, he was often judged for it. If you want to win Basch’s heart, one of the most major things you can do for him is understand. Make him feel safe when he's having a bad time of it. Tell him he’s normal and his feelings are valid. Tell him it’s okay to cry or be afraid, that he’s not insane or broken. These are things he’s never been told in Ivalice, and it will make a huge impression on him if you do.

ASHELIA

Do not treat her like a damsel in distress, don’t infantilize her, don’t tell her she can’t do anything, and definitely don’t make reference to her being female in a negative way. Ashe has had to deal with a lot of oppression and sexism in her life with regard to having others try to dictate her life for her or tell her that she can’t do certain things because she’s a woman. If you want to get to Ashe’s heart, empower her. Whether it’s through comments and encouragement, or by actually helping her to achieve her goals, she wants to feel capable and strong, not like everyone who ever told her women can’t do as much as men might’ve been right. Even if she needs help with something, show her how to do it herself, or do it alongside her, don’t just take the reins and do it for her. That sort of thing frustrates her to no end. A faster way to her heart is to be someone who empowers her to learn and do on her own.

NOAH

If he suddenly shows you his vulnerable side… play it cool! Drawing attention to it, mocking it, or even showing too much sympathy will make him feel embarrassed and then angry. If he’s gotten to a point with you where he’s willing to let you see him vulnerable, the way to keep that door to his heart open is to acknowledge it, but also not make a big deal about it. If you play your cards right during those first couple times he shows you his vulnerable side, you’ll win him pretty quickly after that, because he’ll feel safer with you and more comfortable opening up even more.

DRACE

Respect that she is a strong, independent, capable, proud woman, and never undermine that or make her feel like she is less-than. She’s worked very hard to be seen as equal to men, and for her position as Judge Magister, and even in an MCU verse where such titles are no longer relevant, she still carries an air of authority and confidence about her that demands respect. A quick way to her heart is accepting her for who she is, and never trying to change or control her. If you aren’t interested in being with an extremely strong and self-assured person, then Drace is not for you, heh.

CAELEN

Talk weapons and leather with him. Seriously, he'll chew your ear off for hours about them, haha. Smithing and leatherworking are his passions, so if you show interest in that or ask him questions about it, that’s an instant in with him. He loves crafting things, working with his hands, and he loves pretty looking weapons. Let him show you and talk about something he's made and he will just melt, heh. Especially in his MCU verse, if you let him reminisce about such things or even help him to continue doing it in modern times, he will be very grateful and you will endear yourself to him, big time.

MUNOH

So… Munoh doesn’t fall in love in the way humans think of it, but they can come to care a lot about a human’s welfare and future enough to want to take care of them.

Something that will facilitate an emotional attachment between Munoh and a human is them genuinely being grateful and happy about their advice, assistance, guidance, etc. Munoh loves to help good humans (or other beings too, not just humes) realize their goals, ambitions, or dreams in life. Nothing is more rewarding than seeing their friend happy, fulfilled, or grateful for something Munoh had a hand in helping them accomplish. It makes them so happy emotionally that you will quickly become one of their favorites if you express your thanks and gratitude to them in a sincere way and as often as you like.

[zigraves]

We talk now and then about what our RPG characters or OCs or fanfiction tropes say about us. All my recent TTRPG characters in the past three years are... certainly going some places.

Body, sapient cordyceps grown on a witch's shambling corpse, itself only the fruiting body of a far greater mycological network; eat of our flesh, breathe of our spores, take us into you like an infectious benediction and become me-I-us-we, join us, you-I-we are immortal and we are together and we are a million-who-are-one and you will never be alone again.

Shai, she who ate her own comrades and was exiled, who is tactician and mathematician and monstrous hyena; whatever you are, whoever you are, even be you friend or foe, you are safe only so long as I do not hunger. You are safe only so long as I am sated. You are safe only so long as there is something else for me to feast on.

Marbas, he who was demon-dead before the game began and dead thrice more within it; I am a monster, I have been a monster, I ache to be a greater monster yet, and for all that still I will bargain to keep you safe and I will give up what little respect there is for me if I think it the better means to protect that which I want as mine - respect is nothing compared to power.

Alythatrys, a haunted suit of armour dead so long it had forgotten what it was to be anything other than a tool, to have a self beyond duty; let me savour life by watching yours, let me hold true priorities when all others are driven by needs to eat and sleep and be connected, let me give up even undeath, even the self, if it will save those things that matter - no, not let me, rather you cannot stop me.

Nadine, who made themself blank so they may project and wholly become any identity they need to run a heist or make a mark; I will turn my mind to your work, but in turn I will vacate my body - let my flesh be possessed by ghosts, spirits, demons, and let me come to know it anew, invigorated and refreshed by that very alien inhabitance.

Like

There are some monsters here but I don't think they fuck in the conventional sense (You could try. Advisability is variable). There's something utterly wrong with each and every one of them on a "you cannot fix this and should not try to" level.

and then, somehow, also, there's a perfectly nice human cis lady who's been using the truly arcane power of Not Being A Dick About It to undermine every major hierarchy in magical society, unionise the newly awakened, and develop friendly working relationships with greater spirits to the point of fucking over the mages who are used to binding spirits like tools. Her name is Vor, like the ancient nordic goddess of knowledge, and she likes books and gin, and doesn't eat pork or rare steak. Her familiar is a fragment of a lich's dying mind.