#it's a fucking feedback loop
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it's wild talking to liberals because i said something like, "isn't it fucked up how this huge percent of living spaces in urban areas are rented and not owned" and someone snaps back with "no actually it's GOOD because people who work in big cities are constantly turning over their jobs and coming and going and migrating anyway and so there NEEDS to be a big renting population to accommodate them!"
my good bitch...why do you think they're constantly turning over their jobs and coming and going and NOT settling down...? *gasp* it couldn't possibly be the lack of affordable housing!
#it's a fucking feedback loop#also like...people need opportunities to own their own home in cities#you think they wouldn't want to?? you think everyone LOVES renting and having their money just disappear into a black hole??#home ownership is a safety net. it's an asset it's a cash cushion#people who get tired of renting and get lucky enough to save up money will eventually move out into the suburbs#AND SUBURBS SUCK!!!
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Hey Laurent, Maybe it was all of you NOT being open about anything that put him under intense mental and emotional pressure for one of the most physical weekends on the calendar? And maybe, it was the way that allowed every so-called reporter in the paddock to say the nastiest shit to his face and call it journalism.
#sorry i've been trying to not be a negative feedback loop after i first calmed down yesterday#but seeing this sent me over the actual edge#Openness he could have handled but the way you fed him to the wolves like a lamb to slaughter#and then forced him to perform for you#and then talk about his execution in the most vulnerable of terms#All the while its been marked on your calendar for weeks#fuck off you french fuck#I will go back to happy posts soon#I will go back to making fun stuff that brings me joy soon#promise
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bellanda and laudanda are both so alike to each other in personality and they both fucking hate it so much. it endlessly irritates both of them to see any comparison to themselves in the other and this endlessly fuels just how much they hate each other overall.
#all the care guide says is 'biomass'#the vanderbilts are going to set a new record for sororicide.#bellanda and miranda by far have the healthiest relationship here which is. saying something.#this is what happens when you keep treating your family line as a wrestling match.#they all get REALLY mentally fucked and end up in a feedback loop of hating each other more and more.#(this is also why i am. so lenient on miri and bells because yeah legitimately.)#(that's the best any relationship could be in this situation.)#also tbh i don't have a lot of chances to talk about laudanda's personality#for a lot of obvious reasons it's not going to be the most in-depth in caecilian#because miri bells and ravi are all trying to minimize interaction with her#and laudanda is also not interested in showing any emotional vulnerabilities to them.#so. i COULD actually talk about her here. i could go in depth on what she's like and her perspective on stuff.#and how mentally fucked she got by this whole situation because. yeah miri's not a unique case either.
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fresh voice. why is you being happy something that make smehappy. stop thjat. evil. qhichcraft. evil spell you've cast. make it stop.
honestly this is the whole basis of my fresh n cb story . its npd all the way down
#really silly hting.#not a fersh thing. its the npd. real emotioanl tonight.. happy emotional#but also weird. feeling odd#npd posting.... when my entire existance is based on makign myself feel safe and happy and Better. its very strange#when that's shifted and there is Someone. . who's happyness is a priority. even past the easy [easier to be entertained when they're happy]#that I suually fall back on when I need to... motivate myself into wanting otthers to feel better#but the fact of happyness itself. making me happy. of the other person's happyness. which I normally don't give a shit about#scary stuff out there. the latest thing on the streets. its called “caring about another person.” heard it really fucks you up#I do like it though. maybe its cus it makes it easier.. to make her happy. and as I've said above. her being happy makes MEhappy#evil feedback loop... what if we both make each other happy... that's fucked up....
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I like cutting Dylan’s hand off for the drama it brings to his character arc, but the alternative has its charms because he gets to have this little moment before the human murder spree that is Laura comes along.
#the quarry#dylan lenivy#ryan erzahler#kaitlyn ka#the way he literally kicks at the dirt when Ryan compliments him on the feedback loop is so fucking sweet#also holy shrimp makes me laugh every time#everyone else’s muted responses make a lot more sense if his hand isn’t fucking gone too#like they really should freak out a little more about that#bunny blathers#✨him✨#dylan lenivy brainrot#hyperfixations are hyperfixating
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"Hey Michelle, what have you been up to?"
☝️
#Do not want to reveal too much of my work prior portfolio launch. But yeah here's a peek!#I designed and drew everything myself by hand#I hadn't ever created art in Adobe or made any fucking app frame before July. But look at how it pops :)#Arranging and putting together my design system (last image) for this product right now - which means the project is nearly finished#Planned a last feedback loop with the target users for this week. Then translating the research trajectory into a smooth portfolio narrativ#Then it's a wrappp
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sorry for only saying this type of shit lately but i kinda wanna drive a car straight into a brick wall at the highest speed possible
#trying to keep it together so bad because i already know the problems and solutions and whatnot but i cannot do anything#i desperately just need to do something. accomplish any task. actually several would be nice. but i cannot stand just letting life go by#while i watch other people have the things i want. or even metaphorically living my dream like. that should be me why am i settling for thi#i hate even talking about this because i feel so stupid when i know it's not even a real tangible problem and that i actually DO have real#problems to tackle and the ability to do so but i'm choosing to be upset over the stupidest things i could possibly be sad about#and i can't even be sad about it in a normal way i'm cycling through like several different reactions to smth that isn't even real#or if it is real i literally do not have tanglible evidence for it one way or another like i'm driving myself insane for no reason#i can't even get catharsis because all i'm doing is digging a deeper hole for something i never should've gone back into in the first place#because i KNOW how i am i KNOW how i react to things and i still chose to do it lmao.#and i continue to choose to go through this shit instead of actively trying to change my life because... i'm lazy? and stupid? idk#negative self-talk isn't gonna get me to do anything either so let's just say i'm feeling particularly unmotivated like usual#i hated being a teenager but i really do miss when all my problems just amounted to 'someone was mean to me on tumblr today :(' or i failed#a test in chemistry or something. like i yearn for that simplicity becasue at this point all i'm doing is ruining my own life LMAO#i'm too scared to live i'm too scared to die so i just sit here and fantasize that life could be amazing if i wait#and i'll magically get everything i've ever wanted if i just wait long enough. and i know it isn't true and i still wait for it to happen.#because honestly like. i think deep down i am just convinced i will fail at anything i do when that shouldn't be what scares me.#what scares me should be never even allowing myself to fail because i never tried to do anything at all with myself or my life#like. wake the fuck up. get off your ass and put in the effort. learn some skills. gain independence and stability and discipline and do it#just live please i'm begging you just live so i can be happy don't i deserve to be happy... why am i not letting myself be happy#i'm literally keeping myself trapped in this negative feedback loop ON PURPOSE because teehee shiny toy#and it doesn't matter if the love is real it doesn't matter how i feel like i'm just using it as a distraction i can't say it's motivation#because it's barely motivated me at all. i have to start being realistic. 25 & just realizing you actually have to participate in your life#anyways. i've cried i've agonized i've pictured killing myself in 30 different ways. i think the only way i'm gonna feel better is#to just actually try this time without giving up. wish me luck
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me when im forced to remember that the autism isnt just a fun secret way to like my fav band more than everyone else and that ill actually never be able to navigate social situations normally
#desire mona#media#i dont entirely know what this means but its the closest image i can think of the convey the feeling#im so tired im so fucking tired im tired IM FUCKING TIRED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#this is so exhausting and i can never turn it off#no fucking wonder we're more prone to alcoholism id drink enough to need my stomach pumped if it meant i didnt have to second guess every#fucking word i say to anyone ever#but alas. the other mental condition#sorry for the vent post this isnt very haha mona shitpost of me im just frustrated beyond belief with myself even tho i know its stupid#how do i turn it off. id kill to turn it off#i dont wanna get rid of my autism but fuck i just wanna know the feeling. i wanna know what its like more than anything#its getting darker earlier and earlier and winters coming so. the bad feelings#apologies#should i tag yttd spoilers#yttd spoilers#feedback loop - chris thile#< im not looping this song i just keep happening to make posts when this song is playing. im looping thanks for listening tho#thoughtsing
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from the character headcanons: describe their clothing style, describe their laugh, their hobbies, and their habits/mannerisms!! for either corey or chase (or both👀) up to you!!
All of them for both!!!! :D This one got LONG so i'm throwing it under a cut to save y'alls dash lmao
Clothing style:
Corey is a fun blend of 2008-2013 punk, emo, and scene in their sidestep era look. Mostly black clothes with a lot of patches/visible mending and custom/diy accessories (yes their piercings were also diy, yes that was a bad idea). They didn't have a lot of money for multiple outfits/new clothes, so they put a lot of love into keeping the few they had in rotation in wearable condition. Their rebirth look was very "walked into a goodwill and grabbed the first pair of jeans and a hoodie that fit them". Still all black but in a much more lowkey way. In retribution they have a bunch of their piercings professionally redone and let themselves start branching out a little with their fashion choice again. Their style in game can be described as a range from "edgy streetwear"(im picturing more like techwear) to "edgy casual" depending on how much they're trying to lay low. They're starting to venture into more androgynous clothing choices and its doing wonders for their confidence. I expect a much stronger return of the sidestep era punk look/pops of color/fun accessories in revelations.
Chase has always had a very practical sense of style. She lets herself indulge the whimsy in her hair dye and jewelry choices, with her eyebrow/nose/ear piercings. She's always wearing some kind of necklace, usually a choker. Even then, her jewelry choices have gotten more practical between sidestep era and the present. She's learned the hard way to swap out hoops/rings for studs and to never wear a necklace made of a non-flexible or overly strong material (hence the stretchy plastic choker and the eyebrow scar from where her sidestep era eyebrow piercing got ripped out). Her clothing style is described in game as "masculine grungy military surplus". Very 90s grunge, lots of baggy cargo pants and big stompy boots. Unironically likes camo. Likes going to thrift stores to look for t-shirts with funny/weird graphics on them. Chops the sleeves off all of them only to wear them over a long sleeved compression shirt anyway (gotta show off those shoulder muscles even if she cant show skin)
Describe their laugh:
Corey: High pitched, loud and raspy. ranges from cutesy giggles to hyena cackle. If you make Corey laugh, everyone in the building is gonna hear it. Infectious laughter both bc its adorable and bc their leaky telepath brain is sharing the happy feelings with everyone in range.
Chase: Usually more of a amused exhale/snort kind of girl, but if you really get her to laugh (its HARD but not impossible), its a breathy/squeaky wheeze. Sounds like an engine trying to turn over.
Hobbies:
Corey: playing guitar/singing/songwriting, visiting the beach to look for critters in tidepools (they love fish, they'd have their own aquarium at home if they weren't worried about what would happen to the fish if something happens to them). Not a current one but they had a shitty motorcycle for a bit in their sidestep days that they miss, having a project bike was fun.
Chase: She wouldn't call them hobbies bc that implies she puts time and effort into anything but her plans, but she likes to doodle, go to the gym/lift weights (like for actual fun and stress relief not training), and loves going to car shows (if she had the time and let herself enjoy things on purpose, her dream car is a toss up between a hellcat and an old fastback mustang. On one hand, having something to tinker with is fun, on the other, older unreliable cars are expensive and she wouldn't be able to justify the impracticality). She might not be a tech step but she and Corey are still batchmates and she retained some of the "take it apart and learn how it works" vibes by way of being a car nerd.
Habits/mannerisms:
Corey: Smoking, nail biting, chewing on their hoodie strings/drink straws/whatever's close by and biteable. They fidget a LOT when they're relaxed and not thinking about their body language, talks with their hands. If they're being more guarded they'll cross their arms and hold really still as an overcorrection. Almost never makes eye contact while talking. Will aggressively shake their head at what seems like random moments to an outside witness, but its their response to a particularly upsetting bad brain moment/train of thought/flashback/overhearing something telepathically that they shouldn't. Tends to mirror peoples speech patterns/accents on accident.
Chase: Skin picking (acne scarring and fucked up cuticles galore), cracks her knuckles like every 30 seconds, clenches her jaw/grinds her teeth when she's stressed. She's a lot better at keeping still/not visibly fidgeting than Corey at the expense of her attention span. If you want her to remember what you're saying then walk and talk or give her something to play with/doodle on. Makes too much eye contact while talking (girl stares into your soul but she's really just zoned out). Will yawn and crack her jaw to break up a tense moment (especially if she's getting upset, girl rarely cries but fights it tooth and nail when it happens, this is her go to tell that she's holding that back). She's not as much of a talker as Corey in the first place, but when she's genuinely angry or upset she's deathly silent (perhaps actually nonverbal? not that she'd know enough to call it that). Definitely the drywall puncher type, but she's good enough at repairing things that she's still probably gonna get her security deposit back.
#I am thriving on all these OC questions thank yall for asking about my babies <3#the one about their laughs is my favorite i think bc the answer literally came to me in a dream a few nights ago#dreamt i was with corey and chase and we were all high and apparently corey is the uncontrollably giggly type#they couldnt finish a sentence or look at anyone without cracking up#which is contageous of course so we were all losing it#corey's laugh had me swooning. such a trip having a crush on a person that only exists in your own head. they were so fucking cute#and chase's laugh was super funny. feedback loop bc the sound got more hilarious the harder she laughed#The hobbies one was fun too#Corey should get a new motorcycle#and while Chase is an excellent driver in terms of technical skill. she should NOT be allowed to have a car or bike within city limits#you wont find a better getaway driver but NEVER get in the car with her driving under any other circumstances#if ortega introduced her to motocross or bmx itd be a nice outlet for that adrenaline junky energy. shed have a blast.#thank you for the ask!#chase siepen#corey rook#oc lore
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HI. HELLO. SORRY. i heard we’re talking about hunger au + the others finding out about fucked up stuff that grian’s doing
i’m obsessed with the potions. in order to die (which he doesn’t even *want*, or at least doesnt think he wants, he just believes it’s the safest option) he has to corrupt his friends’ attempt to help him. healing potions have been like. the only thing he’s conceded on for his own comfort. tango is super excited when he learns about them bc 1. it’s something actionable and immediate thatll directly help, and 2. grian gets noticeably… not hopeful, exactly, but definitely more responsive the few times that they’re talking about the potions. which. i’m sure tango will feel really good about after the fact (assuming the plan happens).
and then mumbo overextended himself making a *gold farm* entirely for potions and pearl “got carried away” collecting netherrack. it’s so clearly a priority for them. how are they going to react when grian hurts himself using them?? when they find out that they don’t do anything notable in the first place *except* give him a way to hurt himself?? after potions almost killed him the FIRST time??????? augh. i think about it so much
(also i heard we could pick emojis so im picking 📞 ty <3)
You're more than welcome to pick an emoji!! :D i honestly love it, i love seeing regulars in my inbox its like having people wave at me from across the street whenever they send in asks hehe :]
Man, the potions..... yeah the potions are crazy dude, i can see why everyone is obsessed with them. I havent exactly made a post on this yet, but healing potions don't actually do anything for a Watcher's structural code (theyre designed for Player surface code specifically, so they arent even fully compatible with Watcher surface code), which makes him conceding on them even more painful, because the others are latching onto this single one opportunity to help and its not even actually helping. Its being used, in fact, to eventually hurt him. Nobody is gonna like that.
Im really glad how everyone's desperate attempts at getting the potion ingredients are being picked up on in fic, especially since those references been sorta randomly sprinkled in throughout the chapters (usually through dialogue). Yeah they are.. thats gonna be Fun when they find out the truth on that one >:] ive had the scene for that in mind for AGES and i cannot WAIT to finally get it out there for everyone to see, because man. Its gonna be visceral, i'll tell you that
Im so so glad you like what im doing here enough to be rotating it in your brain like this!!! :D i shake your hand we sit and spin the potions like rotisserie chicken
#shouting speaks#asks#hunger au#compliments#u kno what too is that like. thruout the fic grian has had a very slow slide from#''i dont want to die but its the best most safest option'' to ''this is inevitable its going to happen anyway''#to ''i DO explicitly want to die''#and its just so objectively fucked up to SEE the evidence of how his internal narrative has begun to gnarl in on itself#theres something so gutting to be said about how mental illness and horrible circumstances can build upon themselves and twist your brain#into knots.... idk i think abt it a lot#and abt how the feedback loop between how he treats himself and how the others treat him just circles and circles#world's worst ouroboros#grian... grian buddy your ISSUES#txt
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I witnessed a reddit post today in which OP's brother's 6th grade science class had an AI generated anatomical poster in their classroom.
All I can think about is how fucking cooked our education system is as more and more academic environments pick up on this bullshit and it is so fucking concerning.
#teachers using AI for creating their ENTIRE workplans. encouraging students to use AI to complete teacher's AI generated homework#a vicious and disgusting feedback loop of literal incorrect information#it's one thing to use AI for all the back of house shit#it's another goddamn entirely to literally structure your curriculum on#not to doomer post but like holy fuck#as if it's not bad enough that we're creating art with it#this is so much worse
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Oooooo I love the warlock teacher. Go off, Zara Sool!
“When it comes to manners of warlock, the only thing that counts is on the page.” For someone who was introduced like two minutes ago to me, already saying a BANGER of a line
#zara sool#dimension 20#d20#fantasy high#fantasy high spoilers#fantasy high junior year#fhjy#fhjy spoilers#fhjy ep 4#under pressure#under pressure spoilers#live reaction#it’s really fucking unfair that everyone else has like fabulous teachers and gorgug has fucking Porter#also fucking legend to have your patron just be your paramour#yeah we just love each other and that is a positive feedback loop of giving and taking so I NOW HAVE MAGICSL POWERS#amazing#already spitting bangers zara
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i'm finally feeling well enough to write again
& i'm desperate to, like. finish. anything
if you throw a character/ship + some kind of prompt in my inbox there's a nontrivial chance i will fill it
(i can do Ace Attorney, Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance + Radiant Dawn, and technically Fire Emblem: Three Houses but i've never written any blue lions or black eagles, just as like, fyi)
#times like this i wish kinkmemes were still a thing.#i wish to Spit Out Several Paragraphs Very Quickly And Receive An Upvote From A Stranger#get that validation feedback loop goin again lol#(if no prompts arrive current default is The Most Fucked-Up Reyson Shit I Can Dream Up)
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#it cuts out the best part - 'in a way you cant understand’ #this is literally the nanna and solas veilguard conversation but nanna is older and wiser #and solas is dumber than joel bc he tries to dig himself deeper bc he cant accept forgiveness #bc their whole relationship was founded on his lie but hes also so selfish that hed lie every time just to keep it bc he loves her
i'm being hit
#karen wht a t the fuck#when i catch you (ignoring that i started this)#they're a feedback loop they love each other too much they reflect each other and i'm gonna fuckin lose it
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ive been seeing improvements in my reaction to my medication in the sense that i haven't complained about anything in the past four days and im actually washing the dishes and showering again (brushing my teeth is still an issue but you win some you loose some) + it only took me a few days to get something done instead of weeks or months but then i had a a minor car accident today (not my fault logically and in terms of what happened but legally my fault based on how it works. if that makes sense) and all that progress is gone now lol
#i wasn't angry or shaken up about it nor was i in trouble but this awful depressive feeling just settled right on top of me#i already have a complex about how skill-less i am because ive grown up in a community where im constantly witnessing the poeple around me#do better than me and the correlation of it with my internal experiences with autism just formed a weird feedback loop where the correlation#of me feeling Othered irl would circle back around to the fact that i DO have a hard time and there's a valid REASON i feel Othered#so this is just part lf it to me; the thought process is just 'of course i messed up this badly on my second fine driving alone ever!#its normal for me to mess up this way! actually i cant believe i let myself get comfortable with that skill#you KNOW you're not actually good at anything why'd you forget?'#anyway i cried when i got home (not usual for me i rarely cry. this was genuinely my first cry of the year lol)#and my dad had to console me which made me feel really selfish because im not getting any personal repercussions from this#like the accident wasn't my fault‚ i didn't do anything wrong so ive got no behaviours i need to change but the insurance has my mom's name#on it and my dad's gonna have to pay for it. i get off scot fucking free and my dad had to hug me while i cried about it like lol be fr#not rational thinking i know but it adds to what im feeling rn regardless#anyway the point is that all my progress of like four days evaporated. unfortunate i guess#th
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today's overthinking of the marvel cinematic universe and its fandom is that while there is a strong thread of classism in the CEO Loki/Blue Collar Thor trends, it has not arisen entirely or even primarily from the fandom itself, which is to some extent just casting the two leading men in terms of what archetype they'd be modelling for on the cover of a romance novel. which is largely built - i suspect - from the visual presentation of the characters in the original movie(s). whether there's classism in those choices by the filmmakers i will leave as homework a thought experiment for the reader, because there clearly is but i don't want to say that i wouldn't want to take this baseless theory too far.
#butbutbut!!!! it's within the 50 shades of grey/fanfic feedback loop! the duke from ye olde novels is now a Rich Businessman isn't he?#what he DOES is irrelevant the point is to give him inexhaustible wealth and the cultural symbols of prestige.#aside: DID someone at Marvel miss this when they put TVA Loki in officewear? 'oh the fans seem to like him in a suit' maybe?#but they don't! they like him in conspicuous consumption designer menswear! not in something a normal/obtainable man might wear!#meanwhile thor in the first film wears jeans and t-shirts ie normal people/working-class clothes.#and in THIS romantic novel trope it is YOU who has the money and he is your employee who charms you with his unpolished manners.#he absolutely will look amazing when you put him into the aforementioned designer menswear for your wedding BUT it's not his normal attire.#fanfic loki has LARGE hands but only fanfic thor has ROUGH hands and that's because he works on your estate isn't it?#him being Secretly Royalty in the movie fits this seamlessly too because OF COURSE he will turn out to be somehow nobility!#i should stress that i didn't learn these from real romance novels but at one remove from the OFC fics i pretend not to read#which i find fascinating in the same way for being culturally revealing while also being erotic.#because like all great works of art they stimulate both the mind and the genitalia.#and i mention this in the hope someone with more direct experience of romantic novels aimed at het/bi women can peer review.#(the urge to cite my sources here was ALMOST overwhelming but i told myself sternly that you all know thor 2011 dir. K Brannagh already)#(otherwise why are you even reading this post isn't it just nonsense to you like mathematics is to me?)#tldr - thor 1 thor would be the Shirtless Lumberjack cover model but thor 1 loki would be toying with the cuffs of his CEO costume.#YES YOU CAN SEE THESE IN YOUR MIND CAN'T YOU? THAT'S EXACTLY MY POINT! Q E FUCKING D!#fandom
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