I love reading fics so much, but damn if I wasn’t tired of having to navigate them like they’re potential landmines, sometimes I go in thinking one is okay for me to read only to be suckerpunched in the last few lines 😭
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stayed up til 3 when I have an 8am again. I do this because I hate myself so sos sososososososososo much. It's really funny because I don;t fall asleep in class thanks to my meds but I've noticed every time I go to class after 4 hrs sleep people act weird around me which is how I know im acting really weird. And I am so extremely angry at myself. I spent 4 hours. well 8 hours. Well all day. Pretending I'm going to do homework and distracting myself with various other things on my laptop or crying on the phone to my parents. Got zerooooo work done at all i stayed up most of the nihght for literally no gain whatsoever this is pure self harm. Which I do becauase again I hate myself. Because I didn't do my work. Which i won't do tomorrow either because i'll be so tired I wont be able to string a sentence together even though I'm supposed to give a presentation haha. My favorite activity is staring at the clock on my laptop getting later and later and later. new high score etc. Who's a hypersomniac now. Imagine how much easier this semester would have been if I'd gone to bed before 2am ever. I'm so fucking angry at myself I'm not sure I'll be able to sleep now even. If I fail my classes again my parents are gonna make me live at home forever and say im too crazy to live on my own. I know I was supposed to get a therapist but I hate them all so, so, so much. I think people get that job bc they feel powerful telling some pathetic person what to do knowing I literally cannot do it and will come back week after week admittingn failure and paying
I know I was supposed to take the new experimental FDA approved drug for IH but the list of side effects is fucking terrifying and I live and sleep alone so i really don't want to take a super powerful sedative that can make you stop breathing. So I'm gonna keep taking stimualnts and lying to myself that today is the last day I stay up extremely late for no reason.
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whY is that literally 17 second long clip of j kissing the neck of a david koresh in waco the aftermath so fffffUCKing hot?? nothing happens. they don’t even lock lips. just a chirpy breathless grunt and some smooching sounds.
something is wrong with me.
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gentle reminder to air-dry your fleece clothing and wash it in cold water if you want it to stay nice and soft <3
(fleece is made out of synthetic fibers that will quite literally deform/melt in the heat of a dryer! and no you can't really see it but it's one of the things that makes it pill and get rough and scratchy.
"no dryer" also goes for most items of clothing with graphics. tbh I don't know the exact reason behind that one, I think it depends on how it was printed on, but both my and friends' experience has proven dryers will fuck graphics up, and manufacturers will tell you the same)
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