#it's also super cheesy

[noodles-and-tea]

This trope would be so funny for them

[pinescent-and-gingerbread]

˖✧ Through my eyes

✦ Pairing: Arthur Morgan x Fem!Reader ✦ Summary: Karen explains Mary and Arthur's story to you. Saddened, you're convinced you could never compete with her until the man in question proves you wrong. ✦ Warnings/Tags: Self-depreciation from both sides, kissing, comfort, fluff. Reader has been with the gang for a year. Use of Y/N. ✦ Words: 2,8k ✦ a/n: This is the answer to this ask by the lovely @crystalofmoon19. I really hope you'll like it, dear! And thank you for your support, you've been really sweet to me and my work! As always, I got carried away and wrote way too much. And as always, please reach out to me if you spot any misspellings. Also idk why I made this in Colter, guess I just feel way too hot rn and want some fresh snow + Arthur's coat is perfect for comfort. Credits. Arthur's pic is from my playthrough. Other pics are not mine found them on Pinterest.

“And in the end, she rejected his proposal, then a few months later, sent him a letter telling she was marrying some wealthier gentleman!”

Your mouth hangs open in the air. Karen’s words enter through your ears and create a nice little nest for themselves in your brain. You had no idea. No idea Arthur had been this close to being married. That their relationship had been so strong, that, according to hearsays, he had reached his lowest after their break up, drunk most part of the day, fighting the rest of the time, obnoxious to everyone, even Dutch and Hosea.

“Y/N? You’re okay, there?” Karen asked you, disappointed her big reveal had left you reactionless.

You focused your gaze back on her. Her blonde hair is softly litten up by the setting sun, her breath exhaling a puff of steam as she breathes. Colter is a cold place, and it probably felt even colder because of the morose mood of the gang. You suddenly remember you’re supposed to be shocked. You are, of course, but in a very bad way. Not in an “Oh my God, I can’t believe this Karen, so much gossip!” kind of way.

How could you ever compete with that?

“Yeah, I’m alright. God, I had no idea so much happened between them.”

“Oh, trust me, it was definitely his biggest love story. Never saw him get into someone else after her. Not even Mary-Beth! Could you believe that?”

No, you couldn’t. You weren’t sure why but every word from Karen felt like an enormous stone falling into your belly and dragging you deeper and deeper into the sea. Your silly little crush on Arthur, when you first joined the gang a year ago, had turned into a way stronger attraction. Denying it at first, you had little by little let your emotions win, cherishing every moment with him, thanking Dutch for assigning both of you to the same missions, loving the quiet evenings where he would just sit next to you around the campfire to scribble in his journal while you would do your little hobby on your own. Silent most, but enjoying each other’s company, and so, so peaceful.

More than your emotions, you even had let your imagination take the lead, dreaming about a selfish future with him, seeing it every time he would give you a smile, or laugh at one of your jokes. A happy Arthur, relieved from his obligations, enjoys life's simplest joys. A house, a garden. Maybe a dog, considering he had loved having Copper. A marriage even. And why not a child? If he would feel ready. Something in you was telling you he would be a good father.

But now, you felt like this dream was rotten, condemned.  Like a broken match. The fire, the very thing it’s designed for,  not being able to be lit. Would never be lit. A wasted potential.

You tried to continue your gossiping chat with Karen, voice light but gaze elusive as you peeled the potatoes you were supposed to prepare while discussing, tedious tasks often ended up less difficult this way when you were working with the other girls. But behind your seemingly normal smile and hollow words, a haunting thought was hanging on to you as strongly as a rock trapped in a thousand-year-old iceberg. 

Arthur never fell in love again after Mary Linton.

Night had definitely fallen on the frozen mountains. After your endless vegetables centered-chores, you had helped Mr. Pearson turning them into a decent meal, his incessant blattering about the Navy giving you some sort of distraction. During dinner and after though, once you didn’t have any goal or job left to do for the day, your conversation with Karen came back into your wandering mind, her speech playing again and again like a used gramophone record.

Never fell in love again...

Sitting at one of the corners of the big cabin you had been sleeping in for the past few days along with the girls and some other gang members which mainly served as a common space, you were looking outside by a dilapidated window. A frozen World spread out before your eyes, every inch of surface covered in snow and ice, the landscape ending up looking like it was coated with a thick strange substance —dark blue colors Queen of this gloomy, misty horizon.

Arthur had returned from a very busy hunting day with Charles. Thanks to them, meat had been added to the vegetable paradise of a meal, resulting in a better-than-usual supper. He should have felt cheerful, but his mood wouldn't lighten. 

He had spotted you from across the room, noticing the hurtful absence of your smile on these sweet lips of yours. Smile he secretly loved. Lips he secretly fancied. 

Hesitating for a long moment, debating with himself, a self-depreciative rambling turning in his head like a well-oiled motor, he had ultimately decided to join you and investigate. Something pretty important must been bothering you, because loosing your usual little grin and eating your plate all by yourself really wasn't in your habits.

Approaching you, his boots and spurs clicking and stomping before you could see him, he plants them in front of you, standing there while his eyes lock on your face.

“Miss Y/L/N? Is everythin’ okay?”

“Oh, Mr Morgan. Yeah, don’t worry. Everything is great.”

He doesn’t believe you and honestly, you wouldn’t have convinced yourself either. And Arthur is a stubborn man. A stubborn, and caring one. He leans against the cabin's old creaky walls, on the other side of the window.

“Come on, don’t lie t’me girl. Everyone noticed you’re not in your right mind.” He honestly doesn’t know about everyone, but he surely did. His words are accompanied by a small, polite smile.

“I don’t think… I don’t think you’re the right person to talk about it.”

Arthur’s entire body froze. The hands he had on his belt as always when he was comfortable, flew to his chest as he crossed his arms, his thick winter coat folding with difficulty. His encouraging smile flattened, his brows pleating in a harsh frown.

“Erm… Alright, I get it. I won’t bother you, I guess.” 

Without loosening his arms, he pushed himself from the wall, taking a step to leave you some space. You couldn’t have missed it. This change of behavior, the hurtful expression he had displayed, as if he was truly pained by your words. Disappointed, maybe even shameful to have thought he could help you at all. He was just a sad, ugly bastard, after all.

You felt like you could hear all of it from where you were, and see it in the shadow that had taken his face and the gigantic mass that seemed to have fallen on his shoulders.

No, you didn’t want this. Didn’t want him to feel like that because of you and your stupid feelings, or your own dark thoughts.

“Wait, Arthur!”

He turned around the second you talked again.

“I’m sorry it’s just…” You sigh and look at him with an uncertain expression, knowing your next words were going to be risky. “It’s about you and Mary Linton…”

His eyes turn into two literal plates, his mouth slightly opening in outer astonishment. This was really not what he had in mind. You could have been sad because of a hundred logical reasons, the death of Davey and the loss of Sean and Mac, the complete fiasco of Blackwater, the hundred of dollars lost, the terrible and tough conditions of the Grizzlies plunging everyone into an unbearable cold and a threatening famine.  Not mentioning Hosea’s alarming coughing, Dutch’s mysterious decisions, and Micah as a whole.

But you, out of all these things, were worried about Mary.

Once his eyes had grown as round as they could, they got back into an interrogative expression, the wave of surprise over.

“Wha’…?! How d’ya even know ‘bout her?”

“Karen speaks a lot when she’s bored…” You briefly explained, trying to sound detached.

Arthur rolls his eyes to the Heavens. Of course, folks talked, and you had to know about it all at some point. But this wasn’t ideal at all. He would have preferred to tell it to you himself, at a time he would have felt comfortable doing so, with his own words. He didn’t want this to change anything between the two of you.

“And erm… What exactly bothers ya?”

You open your mouth to speak, but your words are jammed. Explaining that you feel jealous of what the both of them had shared would just come down to confessing your feelings for him plain and simple. 

You felt completely stuck. 

He’s right there before your eyes, the very source of all your worries and your every joy. Looking at you with those confused blue eyes, wondering what is happening in this pretty head of yours. But the words still won’t come out.  You feel more and more powerless, and instead of a sound, your eyes take over to get something out of your body, slow and sad tears filling them like a lonely glacier fills a mountain lake on its own.

Arthur’s usual frown furrows, his wrinkles more visible, contrasted by the shadows from the warm lights of the fire. Suddenly, his internal melancholic speech shuts down, as if the view of a single tear streaming down your cheek were absolutely intolerable to him. No worries nor anxious self-restraints crosses his mind —it’s now only instinct. He sees you crying. He has to help you. This is as easy as that.

His right hand reaches to you by itself.

It feels warm but coarse. This big, big hand on the side of your face.

“Oh, Y/N. Don’t waste those pretty tears for a sour-faced idiot like me.” His thumb gently wipes the drops of sadness that had overflowed from your two delicate lakes. “Come on, les’ jus’ talk about this somewhere quiet.”

Arthur gently uses the hand he had on your cheek to wrap it around your shoulders, solid arm gently pushing you up. He then leads you through the door, other members throwing curious gazes at the both of you.

But he doesn’t care. His priority, right now, is your well-being, and some privacy to allow him to finally whisper things in your ears he should have a long time ago. Not in front of everyone. Not with the other men looking at your sparkling eyes, and listening to the change in his voice he knew would crack, his usual intimidating persona crushed into a million pieces with only the sound of your own. Or with the other girls hearing the oh-so-important words he had to say. No. You would be the only one to witness this. 

He had brought you to the barn where the horses were kept. The snow was falling lazily, a few flakes passing through the holes in the dilapidated roof. The place is enveloped in a heavy silence, as if it was muffling every sound coming from the outside.

Once Arthur had closed the big wooden doors behind you and before he could do anything else, you finally burst.

“I shouldn't cry, I’m so sorry Arthur, I just… She looked like an incredible woman, so beautiful a-and distinguished, and me well… I'm just… me.” Your eyes fell to your feet. You like everything was coming out of you all at once and you couldn't contain it anymore.

“Stop it.” 

“How could I ever mean something to you? You've been with her for so long and even proposed to her and… and never fell in love again after her and…”

“Stop it, Y/N!”

Arthur cut your blabbering panic by pulling you against him. He held you so tightly you were almost crushed by his powerful arms, but it felt so good. Like he was holding together all the little pieces of you that had cracked, melting them with his warmth and molding yourself again with it.

“Now you l’sten to me, sweetheart. I don’t want ya to say things like this ever again.”

The sudden use of the pet name soothed your heart immediately. You buried your face into the furred collar of his big winter coat, the hairs tickling your nose. There, you can feel a little bit of his bare skin, your cheek finding shelter against it.

You stopped talking.

You just wanted him to continue to. His deep voice seemed to come directly from the inside of his chest, and you could feel it vibrating before actually hearing it.

“Ya know I’m no… Am no poet or, or good with words like Dutch…” He started, visibly unsure of what he was going to say. He’s relieved he had initiated the hug, this way, with your face in there, you couldn’t see his. The worried expression it was carrying, like a burden. “But lemme tell ya just how much I care about ya. Oh, my sweet girl.” 

This is it. He tries not to but his low tone begins to tremble. It’s so strange. It feels like forever since that happened for the last time.

“Yeah, Mary has been a real’ important part of my life, I won’t lie to ya. But it was so long ago, gorgeous. So long ago.” 

He knows he won’t shed a tear. He never cries. But his hands shake. His vocal cords vibrate in a vulnerable, softer, and higher-pitched quaver. His body tenses, heart as fast as if racing with a million wild horses galloping in the Great Plains. Even if his words couldn’t explain just how much you meant to him, you could have guessed by how you were affecting his entire flesh.

“Ya know what? It’s true. Our story ended badly. I never fell in love again after her.”

You sigh, more tears wetting your face and his blue coat, this truth so hard to swallow.

“Until that morning, when I saw you brushing Boadicea’s mane; your hair all covered in hay, the brightest smile I ever had the chance to witness on that sweet face o’ yours. That day, I knew my stupid foolish heart had done it all over again.”

You let out a single chuckle mixed with tears and emotions, so relieved. Even when you felt like you were at your lowest, he succeeded at making you smile.

“Grimshaw had forced me to groom all the gang’s horses to “get used to camp’s work”. Must have looked terrible.” You remembered with a smile, details of your first encounter with Arthur flooding your mind.

“You looked like a goddamn Angel, honey. T’was like the sun was shining jus’ for ya. Jesus, I knew it was too late for me.”

You pulled back from him just a little, enough for you to look at him in the eyes, but not for him to let go of you. Now that they had found you, his hands, still slightly quivering, refused to let go, their place on your back and behind your head feeling so natural and right. Your eyes behave the same way as them but with his face. He looks so moved that you have to pinch yourself internally to make sure you’re not dreaming this whole thing; never in your life you had seen him like this.

“I love you too, Arthur.” You confessed back to him, fingers cupping his cheeks in a delicate touch.

You had to stand on your tiptoes to reach his face, but his arm helped you, your lips gently discovering themselves, brushing against each other in a soft and shy caress. Even if both your mouths were chapped by the biting cold, it was the most gentle kiss you had shared in your life, a satiny embrace that left you completely dreamy and light-headed.

The snowflakes silently swirl around the both of you, Nature the only witness of your souls melting into each other.

Opening your eyes again after this moment out of time, you're met with the happiest smile Arthur ever had on his face. He looked like and idiot in love, and you were sure you looked exactly the same.

“Please darlin’, don’t ever compare yourself to her ever again. What’s in the past stays there. And I wanna have a future with you.”

Your dreams sprang back straight from your heart to your mind. The visions you had about the both of you were more alive than ever, reinforced by his own needs shared with yours.

“You’re sweet, you’re funny, you’re so smart and stunningly gorgeous. And, you wan’ a proof?” He playfully asks you, taking his hat off his head, a thin layer of snow falling from it.

Turning it over, he carefully pull a piece of paper out, hidden between two leathered segments in the inner part of his hat. His cut and reddened fingers unfold it and he gives it to you, his big smile turning into an embarrassed and sheepish one.

It’s a sketch of you.

You’re mesmerized by the details of it, the blades of hay messily tangled in your hair, the sparkling in your eyes, the exact clothes you were wearing that day. This smile, you’re more than certain he drew it way more beautiful than it really is. Arthur even had added some lines traced from your head to the end of the paper, as if you were the Sun itself and were emitting your own light.

This was impossible this was the same person as you, her beauty was too radiant and fascinating.

But no matter what you thought about yourself, seeing his work curled your lips in the exact same way as yourself on the drawing. With snowflakes replacing the twigs, you had turned into the living recreation of it. Arthur laughed when he noticed, and realized just how much he had loved you and continued to since that morning from a year ago. He bent towards you to put a small kiss on your forehead.

“Arthur it’s… It’s beautiful.” You find it difficult to find another word, speechless once again. 

You also had no idea of how talented at drawing nor attracted to you he was. This day definitely was full of surprises. You chuckled fondly before taking a last look at your portrait and giving it back to your lover. But Arthur’s large palm wrapped around your hand.

“No, please, keep it. This way, you’ll always remember how you look through my eyes.”

More tears threaten to escape your own, even though those were a direct extract from the immeasurable happiness you were experiencing.

“And... Now that I don’t have to hide myself while sketching ya, I’m going to draw lots of new ones.”

tagging: @a-court-of-valkyries Thank you for reading all of this! Also, I didn't know this was a thing but if ever you want to be tagged in my works too, let me know! It would be my pleasure.

[donelywell]

February 29- March 2 2024

The first time Sonic went Super in Road Trip wasn't exactly as stunning to Tails as other au's and stories.

Tails is like maybe 5 here (I'm not actually that organized on the timeline for this au yet, I'm getting there though, things are getting in order.) and he wasn't forced to grow up and be a hero in this au. So he's a bit more childish than canon Tails because he doesn't feel as pressured to mature and grow up fast. Plus, he genuinely thinks Sonic is going to die and this is the last time he see's him, so tears are bound to come down.

Part 1

[bloomxng-per4wxnkle]

Came across a post on pinterest about peonies- how they bloom for 100 years and are thus used to symbolise happy and long marriages. And I can't stop thinking about how Wei Wuxian tossed these peonies at Lan Wangji during his first life.

And I'm also thinking about how Lan Wangji pressed one of those peonies into the notebook on which Wei wuxian transcribed the Lan clan rules, on the page which explains the significance of the Lan clan forehead ribbon...

And just like how peonies are said to bloom for a hundred years, Lan Wangji's love for Wei Wuxian never withered even after all those long years...

Edit: okay guys, I just saw an old post on tumblr about the audio drama. In the AD, when Wei Wuxian tosses peonies at Lan Wangji, the music that plays in the background is called 'silent confession'

...

Yeah.

The post is from @/xinyuenii in case anyone's wondering

[possamble]

in your fic you mention how falin has torn doors off their hinges accidentally and now i’m wondering how the others reacted lol 😭

i think she's like. reflexively gentle enough that she wouldn't actually end up breaking anything unless she was really putting her weight into it.

so the first time it happened it was probably when she was helping everyone clear out the castle. she's downstairs in the cellar while everyone's just upstairs poking around. she comes across a rusted door that won't budge on her first try, so she really heaves it and then just

Marcille: Falin?? Is everything okay?? Falin: Everything's fine! [knocks over 20 different dusty barrels and boxes and shit trying to swing the door back into the frame]

Everyone comes downstairs to see her like. Frantically trying to fix it before giving up like a guilty puppy. Reactions are what you'd expect. Marcille is freaking out trying to figure out if this is a symptom of something really bad or some complication with her resurrection. Laios immediately experiences childlike wonder and jealousy and wants to start testing just how strong she is by getting her to break different things. Yaad and Kabru are just kind of like "huh! i hope we don't need that door."

meanwhile Falin's just dying bc "oh shit i broke something aaa" + "marcille is just grabbing me everywhere again and she smells nice" + "this is too much attention"

[species-dysphoria-culture-is]

Tw: suicidal ideation

Reincarnated species dysphoria culture is wanting to die in hopes of respawning as my proper species.

.

[nartblartmallcop]

i dont know how to make queer headcanon posts exciting <3

elaborations on who i headcanon as what under the cut

Mario - Bisexual (with a preference for guys)

Luigi - Genderfluid and Transfem Lesbian (the L in luigi stands for lesbian dontcha know)

Wario - Transmasc Nonbinary and Pansexual

Waluigi - Asexual Gay Twink (Wario and Waluigi are All Or Nothing, I've said it before and i'll say it again)

Peach - Bisexual (with a slight preference for girls)

Daisy - Butch Lesbian (this is my luaisy lesbians propaganda)

Pauline - Bisexual Transfem

Rosalina - Agender and Demisexual

Bowser - Closeted Gay

[therosejamjournal]

thinking about how smile (2022) is every traumatised person's worst nightmare. how the message clearly says "your trauma will always win and no matter what you do, you'll swallow it and it'll inhabit your skin forever." how, even if the protagonist had defeated the monster, she would have still lost - the intergenerational trauma has already spread its insidious wings and would survive in the mind of her sister's child. how traumatised people are so often told to just 'suck it up and smile through the pain,' how laughter is the best medicine until it isn't. how misery loves company. and how sometimes healing comes too late too little - you've let the beast grow too strong, it became an intrinsic part of you, your identity.

[fruitybashir]

i promise i also do experience coherent thoughts sometimes don't judge me too hard based on these

not me trying to analyse the timestamps to try and figure out what references what lmao (im getting nowhere with this)

sorry i had to go be not normal about this before i could answer lmao but this is literally giving me life dsjkfkd

framing this on my wall btw:

[nonotternine]

a love letter from the Narrator to the reader

(Okay I’m posting it. It’s kind of long so I’ll put it under the cut, with a brief tag list at the end)

My dearest Reader, 

You truly are the pinnacle of beauty. Every day I look at you and ask the stars how they could have made something more divine than themselves, and every night I ponder what I have done to deserve you and what I must do to keep you. You are more than my muse, you are my love itself, my hope, and my heart. Without you, this world would be nothing. My stories ached for you before I found you. As exquisite as they are, they almost wane in comparison to your magnificence. 

How fortunate I am to have met you. I couldn’t bear to live in this world without you. You have shown me love and kindness beyond measure. You have blessed me with passion and prosperity for years to come. The bond we forged as narrator and reader strengthened me. Our connection is my greatest treasure. I know our fates are forever joined. 

And yet, as I write this letter, I gaze upon the poems you have never read. I yearn for you, dear Reader. You have given me insurmountable joy and left me with an aching want. Even when we’re together, I pine for you. I crave for the touch of your lips and my name spoken from your tongue in the same manner I speak yours. You hand me a mug of tea and I become drunk on the passing touch of your fingers against mine. We sit only inches apart and yet the space between us is so vast, to my heart we may as well be on opposite sides of the universe. When you are with me, I couldn’t feel farther away. 

It is only in my dreams that we are truly together. For in my dreams, you share the same feelings as I. We dance under the moonlight and I tell you I will love you as long as the stars burn in the sky. It is in my dreams that you fall asleep to me running my fingers through your hair, whispering the sweet story of our freedom. Our happily ever after. 

I wake up knowing that these dreams are wishes. They are unfulfilled longings made only real by my writing. And so I write our stories, these saccharine tales in which you hold your hands in mine and kiss me softly underneath the stars of a universe that has not kept us apart. You tell me that we are together, and we always will be. You promise me that you will never leave. You say you love me, in the same manner of the word as I, you. 

It is transient, but for a moment, I believe you. I lift my pen from the paper and I am once again faced with the reality that you have promised me no such love. There is only one thin apartment wall and a universe between us. 

Perhaps one day, I will tell you this. Perhaps then you will love me in the nature I so covet. Until then, I suppose all I can do is yearn. 

Yours sincerely, 

The Narrator

OKAY WHEW IM ACTUALLY POSTING THIS!!!

Everyone please a big thank you to my beta reader, @vellichorom for being my beta reader and giving me the courage to actually post this. They made this process so much easier and seriously relieved a lot of my anxiety.

I would also like to thank @give-soup-please for offering to beta as well! Part of the reason I’ve decided to just go ahead and post this is because I want to do it before I chicken out. Any advice or critique you may have for me is seriously appreciated!! I love your work and I take so much inspiration from you so thank you so much!!

And lastly I’d like to thank @continentalblue​ for posting about tspud and effectively getting me into it. This letter is only a very small piece of what I’ve written, but something about the Narrator has me writing like crazy, which is a wonderful feeling.

[bubblepopsims]

🪷 <- the tunes.

previous- next

What can I say I love having my sims dance and be cute. Sue me

[mangoteaartist]

I’ve been replaying Stardew Valley and that scene with Shane by the cliffs stuck with me more this time. I can’t imagine Marnie not being worried sick over her tragic nephew.

[natasha-in-space]

Hello there! This is my first time coming into your inbox and I want to say how much your writing inspire me and makes me feel so safe especially the ones with Saeran in it.

If it's not too much to ask for, can I request a comfort fic with GE Saeran? Lately I've been struggling with my abandonment issues. It's telling me that people around me will soon get tired of me and leave me behind once they saw how miserable I am in the head.

It doesn't help the fact that I've seen several people that I deemed close to me were beginning to do things without asking or including me. I feel like I'm so easy to replace and forgotten... or maybe it's because I'm the one who's been struggling with this kind of thinking.

I know Saeran wouldn't judge me for this but sometimes I couldn't help but feel like I'm asking for reassurance too many times, or get scared of being left behind out of nowhere. It can be overwhelming whenever I feel like this.

Ah, I'm so sorry for the sudden trauma dumping. It's just that I've been dealing with the issues along with physical fatigue at the moment. Makes me easy to forget myself. Feel free to delete this ask if you're not taking any request at the moment! I guess I really need to let this out of my system. Have a good day and I hope you take care <3

Don't you worry dear anon, you're fine! I've been there, more times than I'd like to admit. It's exhausting and it's stressful as hell to deal with. I'm sorry to hear that you have to struggle so much. Even if things are hard for you right now, I hope only good comes to you soon. Please, take care of yourself and treat yourself with the same kindness and love Saeran would want you to experience. Now, onto the fic! <3

"Y/N?"

Saeran knew something was bothering you for a while now, but he didn't want to push you into telling him anything when you simply weren't ready for that yet. It hurt him to see that distant look in your eyes as you tried to keep up with your daily schedule, forcing a cheery smile onto your face that didn't quite reach your eyes, and pretending that everything was fine, almost as if you were too scared of showing anyone that you weren't doing so well on the inside. He did try to gently nudge you into opening up to him at breakfast, but you were quick to shut him down and change the subject with a clumsy joke and a kiss to his cheek. He saw that wordless plea in your eyes for him not to press the issue any further. So, he didn't pry.

Yet.

That is, until he got woken up in the middle of the night by insistent tossing and turning coming from your side of the bed, your short shaky breaths soon reaching his ears, once he was awake enough to think. You were being pretty quiet, but Saeran never slept too deeply. It was practically impossible for you to sneak out of bed without him waking up to see what you were up to. This time, however, he was grateful for his ability to not sleep through much of anything. He would hate to think of you suffering right by his side without him even knowing it. He was quick to push up onto his elbows, looking over at where you laid, curled up into a small ball, the sight of which made his brows furrow in deep worry.

He anxiously whispered your name a couple of times to try and gain your attention, a sick feeling of great concern twisting at his insides with an iron grip, once you didn't reply or even turn to look at him. Despite everything, you heard him. He could see that by the tiniest hitch of your breath and the way your body has stilled it's trembling. This wasn't like you at all...

It reminded him of the way he would get whenever his fears and doubts would leave him too overwhelmed and scared to even try and ask for help. The thought of you going through the same thing, or even something remotely similar to it, made his heart bleed for you. So, he scooted himself just a tad bit closer to you, a result of his natural desire to be near you in the moment of crisis. He couldn't help it. Even if he didn't want to touch you without you saying that it was okay for him to do so, his soul longed for him to embrace you and hold you tight until all of your fears and doubts would leave you be.

"My love, what's wrong...?" He asked, carefully tilting his head down in such a way that would allow him to take a look at your face. Or, what surface of it wasn't obscured by your hair or pillows. Your eyes were open, but you were avoiding looking at him. A single tear slipped down your cheek. It took him all of his self-control not to embrace you right then and there. His heart was aching for you. But, he didn't want to overwhelm you. He would be patient. He would try. For you.

For you.

"Nothing. I'm... I'm fine." You sniffed, your voice sounding hoarse and so very sad. The uncharacteristic rasp in your voice was a sign that you had been crying for a while now, and it broke his heart to discover. Why didn't you just wake him up? He would be there for you. He wanted to be there for you. Why were you closing yourself off from him? This wasn't like you, and it worried him greatly.

He just couldn't take it anymore. Saeran's hand rested gently on your shoulder as he slowly rolled you over to face him fully, before moving his palm down to press it against your chest. You didn't resist him, which made him breathe a small sigh of relief. He could feel the hard pounding of your heart underneath his hand, almost as if you had just come back from an intense workout. Oh, how he wished that was the reason behind your racing heart. That, or maybe you are feeling too smitten by him to handle it. But... no, the reason behind your heart working so hard to pump blood through your system was that you were in distress. You were in distress, and your body was doing all it could to keep you safe. Even if it only left you feeling even more anxious and shaky in the end. He knew that feeling all too well.

"Did you have a nightmare?" He coaxed you softly, moving his hand up from your chest to caress some of the messy strands of your hair away from your forehead, his fingers lingering on your skin for just a bit longer than necessary. Touch was a crucial way for him to express his feelings towards you, and he couldn't help it. A way for you two to feel connected. A promise of safety. For him as much as you. He always wanted to feel you close in one way or another.

You bit onto your bottom lip harshly, swallowing the lump in your throat, before giving him a brief nod. Saeran's heart was breaking at the sight of you, but at least you were no longer concealing your pain from him. That was a good sign. Some part of him wanted to praise you and kiss you on the forehead, but he resisted that temptation for now. Instead, he moved himself farther up the bed, resting on the soft pillows and plushies your shared bed was adorned by, and nudged you to lay on your side close to him, now starting to comb his fingers through your hair. Without saying a word, he tilted his head down to kiss your temple, nuzzling into your hair just a little bit to let you know he was there. He felt you slowly wrapping your arms around his waist and pressing your face into his chest, burying it into his shirt, like what a frightened child would do. He rested his forehead on the top of your head, stroking your hair and back tenderly, trying to keep his breathing even as he felt your tears soak onto his shirt.

"You're alright, my flower." He whispered into your hair, feeling the tremor that vibrated down your spine as you cried into his shirt silently. He had to battle the urge to start tearing up himself. He hated seeing you cry. It's almost like he could feel the same pain you're feeling, his heart desperate to ease your woes. But, he had to be strong right now. For your sake. "I'm here. I'm right here. Whatever it was, it was just a dream. We're safe. You're safe."

You never told him what your nightmares were about whenever you ended up having them, and he'd never push you to tell him anything: he didn't want to force you into talking with him about these things, figuring that, if you wanted to tell him about it one day, you'd tell him on your own time and terms. He was content with that. As long as you let him be there for you when you were too scared to bear your burdens on your own. That was enough for him.

Saeran laid there with you in his arms for about twenty or so minutes, without even realizing that he had eventually fallen back asleep. Your shaky breaths hitting his skin in small puffs of air and your weak and tired voice hitting his ears quickly awakened him to the reality, though. He opened his eyes, looking down at you worriedly as his hand rubbed your back gently.

You were trembling, your arms tightening their hold on his torso in a way that wasn't natural to you. He didn't have any problem with it, just keeping you close and providing the least amount of support he could. It's the least he could do for you in such a difficult moment. He could handle a tight hug just fine. Especially coming from you.

Saeran hushed you, brushing your hair out of your face to take a proper look at you, only to see your expression pained and stricken with anxiety. Despite that, your eyes were closed. Were you asleep, perhaps? He didn't like to think that you were having yet another nightmare. Something must be seriously troubling you if you're having such a hard time... He only wished you weren't so afraid of telling him.

"I'm never going to let you go, my love." He breathed softly against your hairline. He was aware from his own experience that it could be a very stressful thing to forcefully wake someone from a nightmare, so he made an effort to calm you while you were still asleep asleep. You did the same for him many times, after all.

You groaned and pressed your face deeper into his chest, almost like you were trying to hide yourself away from the world around you. And while he appreciated you instinctively viewing him as your source of safety and comfort, he would be lying if he said it wasn't absolutely destroying him to see you like this. He didn't care if he was being too sentimental right now, he just hated the idea of you being this sad or hurt at all. It reminded him of the inner agony he had to fight against back when he chose to sacrifice himself to save you and Saeyoung, back in the Jihyun's house. The way that his heart would ache and bleed with every tear your eyes would shed and every shaky breath that left your lips as a consequence of his decision. He truly wished he would never see that same look on your face ever again.

But, life wasn't so generous, was it?

"I'm right here, Y/N." He told you gently, knowing you were still asleep, but wanting to let you know he was there regardless. "Oh... my angel, what are you dreaming about...?"

He frowned, holding your head close to his chest and nuzzling your hair as he muttered his inner thoughts softly to you. If only he could have a glimpse inside of your head right now. Maybe he would be the knight in shining armor he read about in fairytales, and chase all those bad thoughts of yours away with a whip of his sword. How nice would that be?

"No-!" You suddenly jolted out of his arms, making him flinch and move away, as you sat up and panted hard, your tear-filled eyes fixating on something in particular, yet also nothing at all, your entire body shuddering in complete panic. You were in a state that he had never seen you in before. And, while usually, he loved discovering new things about you... it couldn't be applied when you were actively suffering.

Sitting up next to you, Saeran wrapped his arms around your waist from behind and gently rested his chin on your shoulder. Slowly, he rocked you back and forth, squeezing his eyes shut as he felt you shake in his arms and heard you sniffle. Your nightmares had never been this bad before. Sighing, he was at a loss for what to do to comfort you. He couldn't do much when he didn't even know the source of all this pain. But, he also didn't want to push you when you were this hurt and vulnerable. He honestly felt stuck on what would be the right thing to do for you here.

"I'm- I'm sorry..." You finally whimpered, your voice raspy and borderline unrecognizable.

"It's okay." He whispered back, turning his face into your neck and pressing his lips to your jaw lightly, not minding the salty taste as his lips brushed against your damp skin. “I just want you to be alright. That's all."

After a few more minutes of quiet, broken only by the sounds of your shaky breathing and occasional sniffling, you eventually calmed down, leaning back against his chest and closing your eyes. Your fingers wriggled together anxiously as you let out a sigh. Finally, you spoke up. "I'm sorry, I'm just- I'm just... so, so afraid..."

"I know." Saeran informed you quietly, rubbing a hand up and down your tummy. Despite his desire to express more, he felt that he should allow you to handle this at your own pace for now. You obviously had a lot of things bottled up.

"I'm so afraid..." You repeated, quieter this time, your shoulders slumping in defeat. You had never spoken about your nightmares before. Saeran wanted to hang onto your every word. "I'm so... so afraid of feeling abandoned, again. It's- It's debilitating and exhausting, and- and-"

"Y/N, I will never abandon you." He cut you off as you started to choke on your own words again, his stomach twisting at just the thought of you feeling abandoned. Saeran was familiar with that terrible feeling all too well, after all. He squeezed you a little bit tighter. "Even if I die, my soul would be right here next to you. Every moment of your life. Watching over you. Guarding you. Loving you. Forever."

"I know that, Saeran." You sighed with a small chuckle slipping through your tears, probably as a response to how incredibly cheesy he sounded. He didn't find that bothersome. He had a lot of love in that heart of his. He had to express it. But, he fell silent now, waiting for you to continue as he traced invisible patterns on your abdomen with his finger. "But, I've... I've actually struggled with feeling abandoned for a while. I'm sorry I didn't say anything, I just... I know it's stupid and irrational, but I just can't help but feel like I am nothing but a nuisance to everyone. That once you all find someone better, you will... you will leave me. And, recently, some of my friends seemed to do some stuff without telling me or inviting me, and... and, I don't know. I just feel bad. And then I feel even worse for feeling bad in the first place. Does any of this even make any sense?"

Saeran pressed his forehead against your shoulder, fighting back his own tears at hearing you talk of how you were so afraid of being left behind by the people you so wholeheartedly loved. It brought back memories of his own pain, which caused him great distress. Because he knew exactly how you felt. Then again, maybe that's why Ray felt so drawn to you back when it all started.

You knew his pain, and he knew yours.

"It is not stupid. It's okay to feel afraid. I am afraid, too. So often, and of so little. But... We'll be together, Y/N." He uttered, hugging you tighter and pressing back flush against his chest. "Fate lead us to meet one another. Just like fate lead you to meet everyone in the RFA and all of your other friends and loved ones. My heart and soul are yours. They will be yours until the end of time."

Your eyes were red and puffy from all the crying, your face flushed and wet with tears as you looked at him over your shoulder. He had to resist the urge to kiss you right then and there.

“You promise...?” You whimpered quietly, making his heart melt for you all over again.

"With all of my four seasons." He reassured you by kissing your cheek.

"You are one of the kind, Y/N. A wonderful, loving soul with an experience unique to you and you alone. No one in this world could possibly replace you. And, when you feel like it all becomes too much: think of me. Think of me and the love I have for you. Even when we're far apart, even when I'm not there to hold you tight and whisper these words into your ears myself, remember our promise of happiness. Remember that I love you, with all that I am. And remember that you are deserving of such love and care. I know it can be scary to open your heart up to others... but, let them know of your fears. Don't close your heart off. Seek out those who are willing to treasure your heart, and trust them to do so when you know you can't handle it on your own. And, remember that my heart is there for you through it all."

[bilestat]

it’s insane what happens to your brain when you listen to music from your teens that got you through the worst part of your life for the first time in ages

[homenecromancer]

“You Took the Words Right Out of My Mouth (Hot Summer Night)” - Meat Loaf

It was a hot summer night

And the beach was burning

There was fog crawling over the sand

Oh, when I listen to your heart

I hear the whole world turning

I see the shooting stars falling

Through your trembling hands

[twistedappletree]

i’ve written a fic from jin ling’s pov about his crush on lan sizhui but now i kind of wanna write one from LSZ’s pov since i tend to favor JL’s 👀🩵💛