#it's an amazing program like fucking top notch shit

[worrysomegus]

I've finally started using 4.0 fuck this menu fuck this font I hate this

[aster-pkmn-irl-real]

📢naranja-uva acadamy

yoo. i think that like. ok so like i really really love naruva. its amazing. i hate seein some of the hate it gets its genuinely not fair imo. like i get it. i know its expensive. i know its a private school i know what the issues are but its not fuckin fair to be like the whole school sucks because of it. a regular public school will also have problems, frankly, probably a lot more than nar-uva does. also just generally, like. ive had friends from unova and stuff ask why i went there instead of bb because its closer to home. NOT ENOUGH PEOPLE UNDERSTAND THAT THE STEM PROGRAM IS FUCKING TOP NOTCH. GROUNDBREAKING RESEARCH IS CONDUCTED HERE. WE HAVE THE CRATER AND SHIT I CAME FOR THE CRATER BRO!!!

[lifewithlala]

Useful and practical advice for everyone starting college

So... Yes, I graduated! To celebrate this, I thought it would be a good idea to pass on some knowledge to those new students starting college this year (I feel like a Senpai). If it was difficult for me, I cannot fathom how much difficult it's going to be for you guys starting this year with all the things happening around the world. So good luck and I hope this really helps you out!

Try to get along with everyone. Look, prior to entering college I was asocial AF. It's not that I was shy, I just didn't like hanging out with people. However, my time in college taught me that interaction IS a very important part of life. I will be forever thankful to my classmates, who approached me on my first day (I entered college mid-year with no experience in business or economics. I was completely clueless). They were very nice to me and tried their best to explained how the school works, what classes we will be taking, what the professors and exams are like and such. Without their help, I would have had a harder time trying to get used to college. Truth is, you WILL need help at several points in college. And if you're not on good terms with anyone, who will be willing to help you? No one. So don't be a jerk and try your best to be nice and genuine with everyone in the class.

Help your classmates. Just as you will need help, your classmates will also need help. Don't wait for them to ask you for help. Offer to help them if you can! This can help you make friends or find new study buddies. Do not underestimate the power of helping others. When you help people with something, it is very likely that they will help you back when you need to. They might even recommend you for a job or internship position just because you helped them.

Find one or two study buddies. Study buddies will make studying more bearable. The study material that you will get in college is nothing compared to high school. So having a few study buddies that can help you make summaries, explain and work together on assignments will make studying much easier! I remember I had a study buddy for one of my minors in which we had to learn 16 chapters. We divided the summary workload and took turns explaining the chapters we each summarized. We literally cut the study time in half because of this!

Keep in contact with your classmates and professors. Chances are you will be separated for some time during minors, study abroad programs or internships. But that doesn't mean you have to lose contact with them. I'm not saying you have to chat with them every day. But contacting them once in awhile is good. I have been able to help some of my classmates with some subjects and applications. I have also become one of my professor's running buddies. So keep in touch because you never know what good you can give and what good it might bring you!

Be persistent. I have had instances were my school coach has ghosted me AND the school completely. Putting my internship and thesis at risk. Shit happens. And when you see things taking a turn for the ugly, fight back with all you got to get things back on track. The truth is, college is a business. And it will continue with or without you. A bit toxic, yes. However, it is up to you to not let things go south! Take action. Contact your professor when needed. Contact the administration. Contact management. Be persistent!

Plan as soon as possible. Don't wait for the first class to get your curriculum and then plan a week later. Download the curriculum BEFORE going to that first class. Plan BEFORE  going to the class. Bombard your professor with questions regarding the curriculum on the first day. Make changes accordingly. Execute that plan ASAP. Your worst enemy is time. But your best friend is also time. The sooner you start, the more prepared you will be for your exams. Read more about how I plan here.

Don't say "yes" to everything. Yes, I am guilty of this one. I learn fast. I'm young. I have lots of energy. I can do whatever I put my mind to. WRONG. This kind of thinking led me to severe burnout. I was helping my parents in their business. I was doing a full-time internship. I started my own business and had 9 clients. I was training for a marathon. Shit went down horribly at some point. I'm glad I went through that burnout because it taught me the importance and necessity to be balanced in life. And that my ability to say no is sometimes more important than my ability to say yes.

College is more than just learning theory. Look, classes are not the thing you should focus on solely in college. If there's anything more important than classes, I would say is your ability to network and leverage this to get experience in the field. That is what college is about. College opens so many opportunities, not because of what they teach, but because of the resources that you are able to get. I'm not saying go slack on your classes, but keep in mind that a lot of times, people don't hire because you have a perfect GPA.

Have a plan to be smart with your money AND stick with it. I had a plan to be smart with my money. And I did so for 3 years. But in my fourth year... I fucked up. Guys... stick to your financial plan and avoid goddamn headaches. Learn about budgeting,

Do not pull all-nighters. If anything all-nighters made me perform worse. Also, they completely messed up my sleeping schedule, which in return messed up my entire schedule. As a result, I would stress out because I was behind schedule and I did not have the energy to catch up. Guys, do not underestimate the power of a good night's sleep.

Time batching will be your best friend. Having a set day to do similar tasks is honestly, one of the best ways to work. One day I would do all my homework for the week. The other day I would only study. One day I would do all of my house chores etc. It's much simpler and effective this way.

Having a study routine will actually help you to pull a miracle. A lot of people swear by a morning or night routine. I swear by a study/ work routine. For real... why aren't work routines more common? Once I start my routine, my brain knows its time to work and study and will not get distracted. You can read about my study routine more in detail here.

You will get fat pretty fast, so exercise. You will not have a lot of time on your hands. You no longer have breaks to play sports, you don't need to go to gym class, you probably have a car now. Your sedentary life will pretty much begin in college. And because you have the money you will start eating out or order takeout. So EAT WELL AND WORKOUT. I realized that the weeks I ate healthily, were also the weeks I was more energized. So do these 2 things religiously.

Don't be too uptight. Relax and have fun. If you're the type A, teacher's pet kind of student... don't be afraid to loosen up a little bit. After my burnout episode I understood the importance of having fun once in awhile. Turns out that going to parties, clubs, having girls night out is a fun experience and you'll look back at those memories with fond!

Start applying for internships as soon as possible. THIS. Honestly. Apply early. Finding an internship position isn't hard. But finding the right internship place that will allow you to grow and learn and at the same time get along with the culture is MUCH MUCH MUCH harder! So take your time finding an internship. Go to as many interviews as you can. Don't accept the first internship position because it's the first you got. Look at it objectively and talk to others that work in that company. I had the opportunity to work for 2 days under the guidance of another intern before saying yes. Ask for a similar opportunity so you can test the waters before accepting the internship offer.

Taking care of yourself is harder than you think. Develop a routines. Stick to those routines. Develop a personal hygiene routine. A workout routine. Eat healthy. These things are easier said than done. Constantly work on these things. If you let one fall, others will start falling too. Self care is a work in progress so never stop improving yourself no matter how many deadlines you have!

Older students are a godsend. If you want to hear a goddamn unbiased opinion, please refer to an older student. The administration or professor might tell you a process or application goes a certain way, but the older students that went through it, know better as they literally had to go through it. The advice they will give you will be more practical than the advice the professors can give you. So listen to them carefully. They will also be able to help you with tips for exams, summaries or explaining. So be friends with them too!

Get a mentor. I was lucky enough to find 2 excellent mentors in my college journey. I became good friends with one of my professors, and she was the one that taught me all I know about personal investing. Honestly, she was the real MVP. Amazing professor, explanations were top notch, and really enjoyed her work. The second one, was my thesis coach. She helped me built my business and her expertise in the field helped me a lot in starting up. Don't be afraid to ask your professors or experts in the field to help you get started! Sometimes, they are eager to pass what they know unto someone. You got nothing to lose!

[definegirlfriends]

favorite fics where one of the boys comes to the realization that they’re not straight?

All of these fics are about them realizing they aren’t straight, or similar enough that I thought they could be included! I put a little ✨ by my favorites! Enjoy x 

Allies in Heaven, Comrades in Hell: (265k) A Catholic school!AU where Louis is finishing sixth form and will definitely be famous someday if Harry has something to say about it, Liam is the racist homophobe that Zayn is dreadfully in love with, and Niall teaches guitar.  ✨

Baby Heaven’s In Your Eyes: (120k) A sixth form!AU where Harry is the fucked up bad boy with too many problems, Louis is the perfect rich boy with too much money and their schools are right across from each other. They meet at a party and that’s the last (and maybe the only) thing they need. ✨

Both Showing Hearts: (113k) Louis Tomlinson is, in fact, not straight. Harry Styles isn’t sure what he is. Together, they figure it out, and maybe fall in love along the way. Or, the Uni AU where Louis helps Harry figure out his sexuality, Niall crashes a bachelorette party, Liam works in a printing centre, and Zayn happens to need lots of printing done.

Completely, and Absolutely: (2.5k) Louis is so completely and absolutely NOT gay that the fact that anyone thinks Harry is his soulmate is just being ridiculous. Including himself. He just thinks they’re mates that are two parts of the same soul, and that’s not weird at all. Okay?Or, the one in which Louis spends the entirety of X Factor so deep in denial that he doesn’t realize he’s gay until he’s already 3000% gone for the dimpled mess in his arms.

Fumbling In The Dark: (21k) Louis is straight, Harry is not. They still shag a lot.

Hiding Place: (365k) Louis never wanted a soulmate, didn’t really care for the whole Bonding thing at all, really. Enter Harry Styles, who’s wanted to be Bonded for as long as he could remember. With one fateful meeting in an X Factor bathroom, Louis gets a dagger on his arm and the realization that just because Harry is his soulmate doesn’t mean it’s mutual.From the X Factor house to Madison Square Garden, from the Fountain Studios stage to stadiums across the world, Louis has to learn to love without losing himself completely, because someday his best friend will Bond to someone and replace Louis as the center of his universe. ✨

How Many Secrets Can You Keep?: (11k) Harry, a homophobic Christian, joins Louis’ gay-straight alliance club at school, hoping to somehow attract lesbians (he’ll work out the logistics later). Louis shows him what he didn’t know he was actually there for. 

I’m a Beggar In The Morning (I’m a King At Night): (7k) ever since harry whispered things about louis at the grocery store they’ve been best friends and harry’s straight and louis’ not and that’s just how it is. “Sweet dreams, love,” Louis murmurs, and even though he feels creepy, he slips his hand in between Harry’s thighs and it’s warm and he kisses his cheek. He turns and leaves and doesn’t see that Harry’s eyes snap open or hear that a whine comes from his mouth.

I’m Trying Not To Make A Sound: (10k) Louis thinks he could die right there. He can’t feel anything but the tingling sensation all over his skin. He’s throwing away all his past thoughts on trying to be straight and denying his reactions towards other men, he just wants more of this numbing feeling. Everything else is a long lost memory, can’t think of anything else besides, wow, this feels incredible. or basically, “I am in fact straight.” / “Don’t knock it till you try it.”

Learning to Breathe: (110k) He’s playing football at one of the top universities in England and he should love everything about his life right now, but instead he’s moving backwards. How does your past fit into your present? Louis is still figuring it out. ✨

Let Me Teach You Something: (72k) In the last year of their degree program, the five boys are put in a group for the duration of a year long Capstone class. They will spend days and nights together working tirelessly to finish school. Louis has no problem with his sexuality and has the notches on his bed post to prove it, but will straight-laced, straight-boy Harry change all that? 

My Heart Is Beating For This Moment In Time: (160k) When Louis first saw Harry at the 2010 X Factor Auditions, he thought he was watching a peculiarly special stranger. But Harry has known Louis ever since he was five years old.Because Louis has a rare genetic disorder that causes him to Time Travel to important moments in his past and in his future - and to Harry, always to Harry. When they’re put into a band together, it seems like everything Harry has been waiting and wishing for has finally come true. Except for the small fact that Louis doesn’t know that Harry is in love with him- that Harry’s always been in love with him. Fate, it would seem, is just getting started.A story about growing up and growing together, and the impossible love that makes it all worthwhile. ✨

Nobody Compares To You: (10k) Harry has a long-term crush on his bandmate and best friend Louis, who is straight, at least as far as he knows. He also starts falling in love with this guy he met on tumblr. Who also has a crush on his own best mate. Things are about to get complicated.Or, the one where Harry falls in love twice, Louis is just incredibly sweet and supportive, and Al from tumblr is super nice but also really secretive about his identity - not that Harry can blame him, considering his own blog is run under false pretenses, too.

Not So Typical: (90k) Harry Styles; football phenomenon, academic prodigy and the most liked guy at Washington State.  Harry has it all; the looks, the popularity, the best friends and it doesn’t hurt that there is a line of girls ready to jump his bones at any second.  It all was perfect…almost perfect that is.  Until that one night, with that one too many drink still burning in his throat and those piercing blue eyes infusing themselves into his every thought.

Photograph: (207k) Harry steadies his jaw. “What do you want from me?”Louis’ bottom lip wobbles. “I’m not gay.”“Are you trying to convince me, or yourself?” And at that, Louis seems to completely lose his shit. He rushes towards Harry, banging his fists on Harry’s collarbones in a frenzy, and begins yelling– “I hate you! I hate you! I fucking hate you so much!”Tears are rushing down his cheeks, and then he’s shoving Harry away, drunk out of his ass, causing Harry to stumble back a bit. Louis then begins to clutch at himself, fisting his own clothes to his chest, dribble falling from his mouth, his arms shaky and his back hunched.“Fuckfuckfuckufkcufkc!” He spits, face contorted, hands trembling. “I hate you!”“No, you don’t.” Harry steps forward, face concerned. “You don’t hate me.”- An epic love story in which Harry is too in love for his own good, Louis is in denial of his sexuality, and they write songs instead of actually talking to each other.

Pillow Talk: (25k) “So, do you think I should… find someone to fool around with?” Harry asks, nervous again. “To see if I like it?”  Louis swallows hard but hopes he covers it pretty well with a casual shrug. “I mean, it would probably help to know that you actually want everything that goes along with being with a guy. If you can’t handle the machinery, it’s probably not for you, you know?”  Harry nods and appears to be steeling himself. Louis tenses, afraid that he knows what’s coming.  “Would you do it?”  “Do what?” Louis plays dumb.  Harry has to take another deep breath before he can say it.  “Will you help me figure out if I like it? Being with a boy?” Or When Harry starts having confusing feelings for a male classmate, his sister’s best friend, Louis, helps him figure himself out. Cue lots of kissing, sex, and falling in love.

Red Brick Heart: (98k) Uni AU. Harry had turned up at the halls of residence expecting fun, new friends, and maybe a life experience or two. What he doesn’t expect is a surprise roommate who’s loud and dramatic and obsessed with tea and is maybe, actually, all he’s ever wanted. ✨

Resist Everything Except Temptation: (100k) The one where Louis is the commodore’s son who is forced to become a part of Harry’s crew when he is captured. ✨

Shake Me Down: (208k) Harry’s new to college, fresh out of Catholic school and conversion therapy camp, and Louis runs the campus LGBTQIA organization. ✨

Standing Here But You Don’t See Me: (22k) “Louis being with a guy is something Harry has always known was a possibility. Ever since Louis told them he was gay, he knew that this would come up at some point. But it was just that. At some point. It’s always been a hypothetical. Harry never thought it would bother him. But now, watching Louis squirm as he watches that other guy, it’s just not a hypothetical anymore. And Harry is very bothered by it.“or: Harry’s discovery that he like boys as well as girls. One boy in particular catches his eye and he’s determined to get him.

Supposed to Be: (20k) “I’m making a movie for a film competition, and I want you to be in it,” Harry told Louis. “I think you would be a great leading actor in it.” “Why?” “Because it’s you. I mean, who wouldn’t want to know all about the amazing Louis Tomlinson? It would be a great movie.” “You don’t have some weird crush or, like, secret obsession with me, do you?” Louis asked. Harry bit his tongue so he didn’t say “Ew, I have standards.” He didn’t think that would go over well. Of course, that was assuming Louis understood what that meant. — Or, the Geek Charming AU where Harry’s a film geek, Louis’ a popular jock, and they both need each other to get what they want.

The Impossible Now: (49k) A wish on Christmas Eve sends Louis to an alternate dimension where Harry is a member of One Direction. 

Unbelievers: (136k) It’s Louis’ senior year, and he’s dead set on doing it right. However, along with his pair of cleats, a healthy dose of sarcasm and his ridiculous best friend, he’s also got a complicated family, a terrifyingly uncertain future, and a mortal enemy making his life just that much worse. Mortal enemies “with benefits” was not exactly the plan. ✨

You and Me: (12k) harry is potentially screwed and louis is definitely hopeless, but its ok because as long as they’re in each other’s lives, everything will somehow probably turn out the way that its supposed to.

[brightlycoloredteacups]

Beef Stew

Series: A Season for Revenge

Summary: It seems like working on the Winter Soldier Program is bad for one’s health. You tend to come down with a bad case of death.

Warnings: General violent imagery. Mentions of rape. Under-aged drinking.

Tag list: @charliexowrite @persephone-is-here-omg @salimahbicharara-comun @curvybihufflepuff

*******************************************************************************************

             INGREDIENTS

¼ cup all-purpose flour

¼ teaspoon freshly ground pepper

1 pound beef stewing meat, trimmed and cut into inch     cubes

5 teaspoons vegetable oil/margarine

2 tablespoons red wine vinegar

1 cup red wine

3 ½ cups beef broth, homemade or low-sodium canned

2 bay leaves

1 medium onion, peeled and chopped

5 medium carrots, peeled and cut into 1/4-inch     rounds

2 large baking potatoes, peeled and cut into     3/4-inch cubes

2 teaspoons salt

PREPARATION

1.     Combine the flour and pepper in a bowl, add the beef and toss to coat well. Heat 3 teaspoons of the oil in a large pot. Add the beef a few pieces at a time; do not overcrowd. Cook, turning the pieces until beef is browned on all sides, about 5 minutes per batch; add more oil as needed between batches.

2.     Remove the beef from the pot and add the vinegar and wine. Cook over medium-high heat, scraping the pan with a wooden spoon to loosen any browned bits. Add the beef, beef broth and bay leaves. Bring to a boil, then reduce to a slow simmer.

3.     Cover and cook, skimming broth from time to time, until the beef is tender, about 1 1/2 hours. Add the onions and carrots and simmer, covered, for 10 minutes. Add the potatoes and simmer until vegetables are tender, about 30 minutes more. Add broth or water if the stew is dry. Season with salt and pepper to taste. Ladle among 4 bowls and serve.

When Bucky cooks, the room is silent. No chatter, no music, silence. Normally, he cooks so he has something else to concentrate one while keeping his auditory skills sharp. This time, it’s different. He wants to remember. Being very careful to sift through the fog of his mind, he knows he isn’t ready to face some memories just yet. Today, he’s once again focusing on face and number. They’re coming at him with ease.

           As he remembers, he takes a break from chopping vegetables to write them down. Most of the people on the list he knows are already dead. But, in the end, there’s more than enough to satisfy him. It’s a long list of handlers mainly, but then there are those that worked on his arm, and the higher ups that called the shots. Nothing was too trivial for him. The list keeps getting longer until he stops at twenty-five names, most of them without faces. He can’t recall them so easily any longer.

           Well, that takes care of one aspect of his problem. The other? How is he going to find them? Unfortunately, HYDRA didn’t rank technological knowhow among the top list of skills he needed. He places the carrots in the pot and stirs the vegetables. They aren’t sizzling yet, but at least the butter has melted.

           He was sure there was someone he could enlist for help. There were a bunch of skeevy people all around the world today he could easily intimidate. Or, he thinks, putting stock in the pot, I could just ask my neighbor. He adds fresh herbs to the pot, sinking them with the spoon.

           Blaire Valentine was a runaway. A teenager, no more than fifteen, she seemed to be doing well for herself, despite the rough streets of New Orleans. If anyone knew where he could get some help, it would be her.

           Bucky adds the browned meat into the pot and stirs. He turns the heat down and covers the pot, then gathers all the utensils and cleans up. Blaire had been his neighbor for nearly three years. And while they weren’t exactly chatty, Bucky knew her well enough to invite her over for dinner. He’d done it on multiple occasions.

           He finishes his dishes and checks his fridge to make sure he has something to drink. Shutting it, he strides over to Blaire’s apartment and bangs on the door. He always amazed at how quietly she can move. He doesn’t here her rustle around inside at all. She wrenches open the door, face angry. “Look asshole-” she stops when she sees it’s him. Her face immediately breaks out into a grin. “Hey, Bucks Bunny! What’s up?”

“Dinner?” He says, jerking his head back towards his own apartment. “Sure.” She says, walking out, shutting the door behind her. She doesn’t bother to lock it. No one does in this place.

           Blaire makes herself at home, plopping on one of his dining chairs. Whipping out her phone, she begins to amuse herself. As usual, Bucky studies Blaire intently. He can’t help it. Fifteen years old and a kingpin for the underbelly of New Orleans. He’s created an entire backstory for her. Most of it is probably wildly inaccurate, but it was something to occupy his mind with. Bucky likes her because it’s easy to be alone. She doesn’t feel the need to fill space with small talk. She doesn’t try to get to know you, she just sits there, quiet, amusing herself.

           “I need a favor.” Bucky asks. He yanks two bottles of beer out of the fridge and hands one to her. He sits heavily in his seat opposite her. “What can I do you for Buckaroo?” She says, popping her bottle open, not bothering to look up from her phone. “I need some information.” This stops her texting. Looking at him with one pierced eyebrow raised, she smirks. “Information one what?”

“The Winter Soldier.” Her brows knit together. “You been talking to Old Joey?” She says, amused. “You know you can’t trust him, alcohol’s gone and fried his brain.” She taps her temple. Bucky doesn’t crack a smile. “Wow, shit, ok, you’re serious. What specifically about this guy do you need?”

“Everything you can get. Anything that’s tied in with this guy, I want it.” Blaire regards him for a few moments before returning to her phone. “When’s dinner gonna be done?” She asks. He gets up and checks the pot. The rich smell of stew fills the room in what seems like mere seconds. “About another hour and a half.” She downs her beer and gets up. “Give me about thirty and I’ll see what I can find.” She tells him, walking out of the room. He nods, good, this is good. He’s getting somewhere at the very least.

*

           Even though she’s only fifteen, Blaire has been through enough to last her a life time. The beginning of her life story is one bad cliché after another. Her father, a pimp, knocked up her mother, his prostitute. Nine months later, and she was born. For the first six years of life, Blaire didn’t even realize she had parents. Her mother was gone half the time, and her father bounced the moment he found out Blaire was a girl.

           Another ten years and Blaire was on the streets trying to help her mother with her addictions. Stealing bottles of booze, dealing drugs to kids at school. One fine day, when Blaire had grown up enough, her mother decided it was high time Blaire got into the family business. Bringing some friends over, a mother just watched as her daughter cried for help getting away from four strange men. That night, Blaire skipped town and never looked back.

           To make sure she’d never get taken advantage of again, she honed her body into one for strength. It was easy to kick ass when no one expected it from you. She settled in New Orleans when it was painfully obvious no one cared that she was some street rat, as long as they got their drugs on time.

           Blaire’s best kept secret was how good she was with computers. She’s hacked into nearly every ‘secure’ network she can, just for fun. Gathering information on this Winter Soldier guy, was surprisingly a piece of cake. The information was all over the internet. Encrypted files she didn’t bother looking at before she unencrypted them. Her hardware was top notch, stolen from a supply truck just a few months ago. Chopped and put back together. Untraceable.

           If she knew what she was dealing with she probably would’ve paid closer attention. She grabs the drive the downloaded files are on and heads back to Bucky’s, letting herself in. He’s standing in the middle of the room, arms cross, face in full frown. He doesn’t acknowledge her. She doesn’t mind. She knew the thousand-yard stare of soldiers well enough to know not to bother him. If he wanted her help, he’d ask.

“Did you get the files?” She waves the drive in the air and puts it on his side of the table, then goes back to playing Angry Bird on her phone.

           It’s an hour of complete silence after that. Bucky, standing in the middle of his crappy ass kitchen, Blaire, in her chair. He’s placing a plate in front of her when he freezes. “Bucky, I’m not going to eat out of your hand.” Blaire says, looking up at him. He’s looking intensely at the window, his eyes travel back to her, back to the red dot sitting securely between her eyes.

           Before Bucky can grab her, she throws herself away from him. Just in time too. The shot misses her by centimeters. “Fuck!” She calls out, diving for Bucky’s door. Bucky heads the opposite way for his bug out bag.

           It’s strange for Blaire to be in the midst of a shootout after so long. It’s nice to know she can remain calm and think clearly after all this time. Get your bag, she tells herself. Don’t stop for anything, just get your bag. She does, without little issue. Gathering a few other things, she’s out her bedroom window in seconds, crawling down the fire escape. Safe house next, she thinks. She knows the back-alley route by heart.

           Just as she’s making her last drop, she lands on someone. As they throw her off, she points her gun at them. “Blaire?”

“Bucky?” A shot whizzed between them. Blaire shoots blindly to her right, getting up and running for it. “This way!” She calls over her shoulder. Hopefully the old man can keep up.

[ahyslpodcast-scoop-blog]

Ep 46- 13 Best Haunted Houses

The 13 Best Haunted Houses in the US in no particular order

Okay, so it’s October. I know you want to get down and dirty in a haunted house, so these are the 13 best Haunted Houses to get freaky in. By freaky I mean very scared and anxious. 

Netherworld- Stone Mountain, Georgia

70,000 square feet of horror. The 2019 themes are “Night of the Gorgon” and “Cold Blooded”. Netherworld has both indoor and outdoor haunted houses, four escape rooms, and fucking laser tag.

It’s famous for the elaborate set designs and props. The set designs and props are so fucking amazing that Zombieland was filmed inside of it and Halloween 2 (Rob Zombie) rented the props from it.

Cast members bungee jump, slide into you and scare the shit out of you. It’s nuts!

Field Of Screams - Mountville, Pennsylvania

Field of screams has MULTIPLE attractions. From haunted hayrides to terrifying mazes, it’s fucking scary!!

“Journey through the dark cornfields, where terrifying creatures live and horrific acts occur. Witness atrocities found only in your worst nightmares and experience the thrill of the walking dead. Experience terror like no other in a journey through the Frightmare Asylum where demented patients lie in wait for their next victim. Hear clown's giggling snarls echo through the halls as you try to escape the madness. Walk through the Den of Darkness, a haunted house that was abandoned many years ago but was never fully vacated by the twisted souls that inhabited it. They remain to terrorize guests and leave them screaming for the door. Even more fear awaits as you trek through the Nocturnal Wasteland desolate forest where few survivors remain. Nocturnal Wasteland provides the most extreme haunted experience as you come face to face with its disturbing inhabitants deep in the middle of the dark woods.” taken from their website

Asylum 49- Tooele, Utah

We talked about this in a previous episode. You know what’s better than a haunted house? A haunted house inside of a haunted asylum. You get touched, separated, and straight up fucked in this haunted house.

Eastern State Penitentiary: Terror Behind The Walls- Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

What’s better than a haunted asylum? A mother fucking abandoned haunted prison. 6 (yes SIX) haunted attractions inside the walls of the Eastern State Penitentiary. From Zombies to mad scientists to classic scares, “Terror Behind The Walls” rips you away from your party and fucks the Halloween right out of you

The 13th Gate- Baton Rouge, LA

13 sections. 40,000 square feet. The 13th gate is designed with blockbuster-level tech so it’s CRAZY. The goal of the 13th gate is to blur the lines of reality so you really feel like you are experiencing a real event. Whether it’s walking into a room covered in insects and snakes, or trapped in a cave, they created each scene to capture you. The acting is top notch, so it really does a great job at mind fucking you.  

Dent Schoolhouse- Cincinnati, Ohio

As you walk in, you hear the tale of a murderous janitor named Charlie, who killed students in the 1940s and 1950s and dumped their bodies in the basement of the schoolhouse. As you walk through the haunted house, you walk through the fucked up mind of the killer Charlie. You see crazy teachers, bodies,  gore, and some catacombs. The really cool part about this haunted house is they have “lights off” nights so all you have is a glow stick to guide you through the house

Haunts into christmas (changes everything to spooky Christmas shit)

Headless Horseman Hayrides and Haunted Houses- Ulster Park, New York

This is a whole fucking Halloween amusement park. There’s restaurants, gift shops, hayrides, corn mazes, 8 haunted houses, and escape rooms. It’s awesome!! This is on 65 acres of haunted land

The haunted houses are famous for their set design, makeup, unique props, and overall spook factor.

Erebus - Pontiac, Michigan

Four story haunt. From their website, “Dr. Colber, a mad scientist obsessed with time travel actually figured out how to make it work! But in doing this, every time he got one of his subjects into another time period, that time period itself looked at them as a virus and wiped them out! Obsessed with trying to make this work, he sent more and more of his employees into the time machine until he ran out of time, money, and subjects… Which brought him to a brilliant idea! Disguise his time machine as a haunted house! Now, he has an endless supply of human guinea pigs to use in his experiment, and better yet… they unknowingly fund the program.”

Erebus has physical obstacles you have to work through (swamps, ball bits, closing walls, etc to escape. It’s not for the faint of heart

Nightmare New England- Litchfield, New Hampshire

80 aces. 6 haunted houses. Rides. Food. Another club. Another club.

Nightmare on 13th- Salt Lake City, Utah

It’s so fucking fun, y’all. 36,000 square feet of pure horror. They change it completely every year, and make it even scarier. Cory and I went through a few times and it’s NUTS. 

The Beast- Kansas City, Missouri

From their website “The Beast Haunted House is one of the greatest haunted attractions in the nation and keeps adding to keep visitors on their toes and scared out of their wits. This immersive nightmare is an open format where visitors lose their way around lurking threats of voodoo, a live alligator, werewolves, phantoms, and monsters. Traverse through a medieval time warp that goes to a time when it was an eye for an eye, the Beast within the man. There are 4 floors where the Beast is clawing to get the next victim before escaping by jumping out a 2-story window or slide 4-stories down. “

Hell’s Gate- Lockport, Illinois

From haunted.com “This dark adventure shuttles you deep into the forest where you must find your way through the torch-lit haunted woods, across the Cemetery of Lost Souls, up the hill and through the gate, to find the front door of the 1920’s Victorian Mansion, Moorstone Manor. Once in the house, you may feel that you have escaped the horde of zombies from the cemetery and forest, but your challenge has just begun. The house itself is alive with darkness and The Twins are searching for new hosts for their demon kind. You will need to find the secret passages in each room to escape the ever-pressing Darkness and make your way to the attic. After reaching the top of the house, you must ride the slide into the basement, find your way through a zombie-infested laboratory and attempt your escape through the Dragon Caves. The Gate itself is hidden in the caves below the house and from it the Darkness enters our world. Guarded by three dragons, the caves are vast and difficult to navigate. However, if you make it through the entire house and you can find the Key to HellsGate... Your ticket is free! This is not just a haunted house, it’s an adventure!”

Mckamey Manor- San Diego, California 

This is the most famous “Survival” Haunted House. You start off by getting abducted and taken to the McKamey Manor in San Diego, Ca. Then you get tortured.  People are covered in spiders, bees, snakes, cockroaches, blood, etc. They are slapped, cut, tied up, gagged, waterboarded, etc. There is no safeword. You have to beg the actor to let you go. They can hold you up to 10 hours and each experience is tailored to the person’s fears. Only a few people are even allowed per day and the waitlist is CRAZY (24,000 people). Want to go? Here are the requirements.

You have to meet multiple requirements before entering

 21 and above, or 18-20 with parents approval.

Completed "Sports Physical" and  Doctor's letter stating you are physically and  mentally cleared.

Pass a background check provided by MM.

Be screened via FB facetime or phone.

Proof of medical insurance.

Sign a detailed 40-page waiver.

Pass a portable drug test on the day of the show.

Have fun!

[pandamothium]

A Close Call

A Pokemon Go AU fic ft. my OC Cecylia DeLune

Warnings: Language and Violence 

Set within surfacage’s incredible And The World Will Turn to Ash AU, thus I do not own their OC Noire or their interpretations of the Team Go leaders. Neither do I take any credit for their AU as I am merely piggybacking because I love the story and world so much :) 

So if you’re curious and want to know more about And The World Will Turn to Ash, please checkout surfacage’s page and be amazed!!

See the notes at the end of the fic to learn more about some of the characters featured

It was an oddly cold night in late August, Cecylia watched her breath form billowy vapors as she made it the roof of the Pokemon Center. From this vantage she had a clear view of the Team Instinct breeding facility as she shuffled to find the small bluetooth headset she received from Professor Sebastian. Positioning it in her ear, she switched on the device and waited through the static until the connection was set.

“Eclipse, can you hear me?” Hun’s collected voice broke through the static, “Yeah, clear as a bell.”

“Don’t forget the main objective: get in, get the data and get out with as little trouble as possible, do you think you can pull it off?” They continued, the slight hint of sarcasm in their voice irritated her, “I do, although why Executive Karen was so hard pressed that I be the one doing this is beyond me. Breaking into one of Team Instinct’s most renowned facilities? Isn’t this a mission for a higher ranking member? Someone like you and Attila?”

She could hear an exasperated sigh through the headset, “Eclipse, you know why. If it wasn’t for Attila and I vouching for you to Professor Sebastian and Dr. Namba, she would have had you flogged and assigned to janitorial duties after what happened last time. And that’s if she hadn’t killed you first.”

Cecylia chewed her lip, not wanting to admit that they were right. Executive Karen was cruel and she did not appreciate when her plans were interfered with especially by the mistakes of those under her.

“I was being fictitious Hun, I know. And I’m thankful that you two stood up for me, otherwise-“, but she was cut off, “Don’t misunderstand Eclipse, we only did so because we believe that you can still be useful despite your novice mistakes. Aside from Executive Noire, you’re one of the few survivors of Cipher’s experiments which makes you useful, as a tool. Don’t forget that. It’s your abilities we need, not you.”

They paused, clearly waiting for a smartass response. Asshole. “Oh no need to fret, I know that… better than you think. Now are you going to keeping yapping or can I go already?”

She grabbed a ball from her belt, releasing Xatu just as Hun answered, “According to our intel the building should be sparsely inhabited because of some sort of seminar event the leaders are having in Celadon. Anyone you may come across should pose little threat… but still, don’t get caught.”

Cecylia laughed, “That’s the plan, I’ll make contact once I have the data. Eclipse out.” She didn’t wait for an answer before muting the device, turning to her glimmering Xatu who was wistfully grooming its feathers before noticing Cecylia approach. She gently stroked over its plume, “Care to give me a lift friend?”

…

She landed softly on the ground near the rear entrance of the building. Quietly she called Xatu back into its ball before making her way through the hedges towards the door. For a brief moment her eyes flashed a bright fuchsia and the door opened with a soft click. She smirked, no lock could stand up to her telekinesis.

She slipped through the door, closing it silently behind her and like that she was in.

This facility is top-notch that’s for sure, she thought while peering into the many rooms she passed along the hallway. Several rooms were retrofitted to accommodate the different types of Pokémon inside, some having thermostats set to ridiculous temperatures while others were overgrown in plants or filled with sand.

This must be the day-care ward of the building, Cecylia pondered as she continued down the long hallway, her senses tuned to detect any movement and thanks to Lux’s power she could simultaneously redirect the security cameras as she searched for the main laboratory.

Luckily, Hun’s intel seemed to hold true, the facility seemed deserted say for the few research assistants that she managed to slip past undetected thanks to Nox, whose powers allowed her to cloak herself in the shadows. According to the blueprints of the building Hun had sent to her cell, the main lab was at the top floor. Shit, I should have just came in through the roof!

…

Finally on the sixth floor, Cecylia slipped into a dark room to escape a group of researchers making their way to the elevator.

“This week’s hatch proved a huge success, the F2 generation shows the expected 9:3:3:1 ratio like we were hoping for. I think Spark will be pleased to know that we managed to successfully pass on the mother’s hidden ability and the father’s stats to the majority of the offspring.”

Cecylia resisted the urge to eavesdrop more on their discussion, as a geneticist she was eager to satisfy her curiosity but thought better of it and continued her trek to the lab according to Hun’s blueprints.

This sector of the facility was all but abandoned, no lights were on in any of the rooms she passed aside from the idle blinking of equipment and incubators. Finally she found the main lab, inside were several lab tables covered in documents strewn haphazardly across the surface and several incubators and monitors beeped along the furthermost wall.

Cecylia stood idle for a moment observing the room for security alarms or cameras before she quickly trotted over to the lone computer which was surprising already on. She pecked at the keys to bring the machine out of hibernation and there she was meet with a password locked screen.

Hah, like a little password is gonna stop me, she mused and proceeded to rest her hands across the keyboard. A fuchsia glow arose from her fingertips and eyes as she traced the memories from the last time the computer was used. Psychometry was another helpful trick she had gained from Lux and was probably another reason why she was assigned to such a mission.

E-G-G-C-E-L-L-E-N-T.

“Are you fucking kidding me? What kind of idiot makes THAT the password to a hi-tech research facility?” Team Instinct’s leader must be really confident in the breeding facility’s security to have a ridiculous password like that, and an egg pun at that?!

She was going to enjoy stealing from these dumbasses and as soon as the home screen popped up, she dug through her hip satchel for a small flashdrive. Once loaded she began the program installed on it and it immediately began copying and swiping all the files saved to the computer. Files from as far back as ten years ago flashed by the screen as they were saved onto the drive.

Cecylia took a step back, it would take a few minutes to collect everything and she proceeded to search for a way out. Her eyes were immediately drawn to a roof access panel on the ceiling, Bingo.

She drew a gun from her holster and launched the powerful magnetic hook-shot into the ceiling which to her luck was fitted with metal tiles that created a secure hold with her Magneton steel anchor. She grabbed the hanging cable and gave a sharp hard tug to test it before turning to the computer screen showing that the download had completed.

She ejected the flash and quickly started to erase any trace of her presence and set the computer back into hibernate. Satisfied she switched on her bluetooth.

“Hun… can you hear me? I’ve got the data and am ready to exit, how’s things on your end?” Cecylia winced at the loud screech of static that answered, “E-Eclipse? Did everything go smoothly? No fires to put out or buildings razed to the ground?” They finally replied, though she struggled to make out their words through the poor connection and constant interference.

“HA-HA very funny, I’ll have you know that everything went according to plan,” she jeered.

“Well, perhaps not everything.”

Cecylia jumped and whirled around towards the voice behind her, interrupting Hun’s answer.

“Who the fuck are you?!” she growled as the silhouetted figure in the doorway stepped into a better light. It was a man of reasonable stature dressed in black leather accented by bright yellow. His blond hair was haphazardly styled and his cool blue eyes were drawn into near slits that made a chill run down Cecylia’s spine.

Whoever he was, he was dangerous, she could tell by the way the air seemed to grow thin around them, teeming with electricity that made her hair stand on end.

She could hear Hun’s voice growing irritated by the lack of response, “Eclipse? Eclipse, what’s wrong? What happened?” but she didn’t answer. She was too focused on the blonde man in front of her, who was sporting a devilish grin, “What do we have here, a little rocket rat scurrying about? How bold of them to send only one of you to break in here, or are there others waiting to jump our poor assistants?”

The man took a few steps forward, “Rocket didn’t need to send anyone but me to break in to this hack facility. Six floors and not a soul detected me, what a shame. And with an idiotic password like “eggcellent” you guys were practically begging me to take whatever I wanted.” Cecylia goaded trying to stand her ground despite the slight tremble in her legs.

She was trapped in here, the only exit was above and there was no way he’d let her have the chance to reach the access panel. So she hoped her bluff would earn her some time to figure a way out of this mess.

The man laughed clearly not fazed by her insult, “What? I thought that was an egg-traordinary password!” He grinned, but the humor did not reach his eyes and Cecylia braced herself. “But what does bother me, is how you got in so quietly and made it here without anyone detecting you… you wouldn’t be so kind as to tell me how you did that would you?” he cocked his head slightly, taking another small step forward.

Cecylia stepped back, “Damn, is everyone in Instinct this dense, why would I tell you anything?” Again her bluetooth blasted static, making her wince and in that second of distraction the man made his move.

Except he was so fast, she didn’t actually see him move before she was slammed against the wall, his forearm pressing hard against her throat making her gasp for breath.

“ACK!! Instinct…bastard!!” She choked, her feet kicking against his chest in a futile attempt to push him back. She raised a hand to strike him but with his free hand he managed to pin both of hers above her head.

“Man, you guys are so rude, breaking in here, stealing our stuff and worst of all insulting my password setting skills… you know, doing something like that deserves punishment.” A pit grew in her stomach hearing the murderous tone of those words, his lips grazing the shell of her ear as he whispered, “What shall I do with you?”

Cecylia heart pounded in her ears making it near impossible to discern the blond man’s words from Hun’s shouting through the headset. If she didn’t do something fast, she would be arrested… or worse. The man’s arm against her neck was making her grow dizzy and finally she knew what to do.

“P- Perhaps… you could get the FUCK AWAY FROM ME!!” she managed to shout against his strangle hold and in a bright flash, she threw him back with a psychic shockwave that caused him to smack into the opposite wall.

Her legs collapsed under her weight as she gasped for air and retched. But she didn’t have time to recover before the man was back on his feet, yet he surprisingly stayed in place. She jerked up to see a confused expression on his face, clearly taken aback from her attack, “What was that?” he asked knowing he wouldn’t get an answer.

Hun’s voice cracked again through headset, “Eclipse!! What the hell is going on in there!?” Cecylia was surprised to hear how panicked they were, which was a wildly out of character for the usually calm and collected officer.

“Some…blond asshole jumped me,” she managed in between rasping breaths and coughs.

“Fuck!”

Cecylia was even more surprised, “What? Do you know who I’m talking about?” but Hun didn’t bother to answer her question, “You need to get the hell out of there, NOW!”

“Great fucking idea, Hun but this jackass is keeping me from doing just that!” She growled back, still rubbing her aching throat as she rose to her feet to stare down the man who was still maintaining a distance.

“That ‘jackass’ is Team Instinct leader!” Hun’s voice was calmer but Cecylia could tell how freaked out they were. Cecylia couldn’t believe her ears, “This idiot is Zapdos’ chosen? You have GOT to be joking!”

This time the man answered, “Oh! I guess I did forget to introduce myself. I’m Spark, Team Instinct’s leader and the head of this facility, now would you care to share just who you are?” Knowing he was not going to get an answer, he took a small step forward.

Cecylia inched back, bracing herself for Spark’s next move, “PA196197.” He stopped, “What? This that your phone number, sorry love but you’re not my type.”

She scoffed, “As if sparkplug, you asked who I was and I told you. PA196197, that’s who I am. Now how about you forget I was ever here and let me go about my merry way?” She grinned awaiting the leader’s response but was instead met with a small chuckle, “Sorry, as much as I’d rather be at home watching my dramas, I have a little rat problem that I need to take care of.”

He hadn’t finished his sentence before he was already closing in, his eyes burning a bright gold and Ceyclia barely managed to block the brunt of his kick which to her surprise still threw her back a few feet. She rolled out of the way in time to land a sharp punch to the gut and used his back to launch herself over the nearby desk.

Her training with Executive Karen seemed to pay off but only enough to allow her to remain on the defensive. Again and again she managed to dodge his kicks and punches but only just barely, his strength was obviously enhanced by his bonded Titan and it took everything she had to avoid what would have definitely been a crippling blow should he land a direct hit.

But then she slipped on one of the hundreds of papers now littering the floor from the scuffle and he didn’t waste a moment. He landed a sharp kick to her chest causing her to be thrown back into one of the research tables. She gasped, unable to breathe as the force of the kick emptied her lungs and she collapsed.

“Eclipse!! What’s happening? I told you to get out of there!! You and your bonded can’t stand up to a Titan! Get out before he kills you!” Hun was screaming, but she could barely make out the words, her head was swimming as she struggled to catch her breath.

She braced for another blow, but none came. She looked up to see a bizarre expression on the Instinct leader’s face, “Your… bonded?”

Shit, how the hell did he hear that? Cecylia cursed to herself, “I guess for what you lack in IQ you make up in hearing, right kilowatt?” But there was no humor in the team leaders expression, in fact he looked somewhat wild, even more so than before.

“What do that person mean by your ‘bonded’?” his voice seemed to reverberate and Cecylia noticed the various beeps and screeches coming from the electronics in the lab.

She was running out of time and though she knew the consequences, she only had one option left. The Instinct leader was closing in, his footsteps were methodically slow which gave her the time she needed to gather her strength.

Lux.

She closed her eyes, trying to focus but Sparks’ footsteps were drawing closer and finally when the time was right, her eyes flashed open burning a bright fuchsia. He flinched at the sight, mouth agape in confusion as he tried to close the distance between them but he was too late and was thrown back by the shock wave that exuded from her body.

He stared in shock as she disappeared before his eyes in a bright flash that sent lab equipment and papers flying across the room.

Spark stood in awe of what he had just witnessed, his mind racing with questions before he was finally able to calm down, allowing the golden hue of his eyes to dull and return to their normal blue shade.

“Damn,” he muttered, “Blanche and Candela are going to lose their shit.” But before he could begin cleaning up the disaster he and the rocket agent had made, he pulled out his cell, “Hey Professor… can you get in touch with Candela and Blanche, I believe we may have a problem.”

…

A few miles away atop the Pokemon center, a bright light flashed across the sky to reveal Cecylia, who subsequently collapsed on the roof. She groaned, her body ached both from the beating it had taken from Spark and from the strain of teleporting such a long distance. She couldn’t move, so she resigned to taking the moment to rest. She managed to roll over to look up at the stars which were unusually bright for this time of the year.

Her peace was interrupted by Hun who still seemed slightly alarmed, “Eclipse are you alright? You alive?” they asked, she coughed when she tried to speak causing her chest to ache where Spark had kicked her.

“Y-Yeah, I somehow managed to get out of there, thanks to Lux” her voice was barely a whisper, “For Arceus’ sake, Eclipse you know how dangerous it is to use that ability!! You could hav–”, but Cecylia interrupted, “Like I had a choice! It was either that or get beaten to a fucking pulp by that charged up hedgehog they call a leader!!” She regretted raising her voice as her chest seized in protest.

A burning sensation in her nose forced her to move as blood began to pool in her sinuses, she rolled to her side to try and ease her breathing. She had suffered nosebleeds before after using Lux’s power but never had she attempted to teleport such a long distance before and it was obvious that her body was beginning to suffer the side effects.

Hun sighed and said something illegible to who Cecylia assumed was Attila before addressing her, “Can you move?” they asked in their usual calm demeanor, “No.”

Another sigh, “Alright, stay put Attila is coming to get you, the bluetooth has a GPS so be patient and I’ll report to Executive Karen who I assume is going to expect a full write-up of what happened… but I’ll try to see if I can’t get her to postpone it until we get you checked out and the Doctor gives the okay.”

“Thanks Hun,” she could barely keep her eyes open, “I think I’ll just lay here until he gets here…” Hun said something else but she had already pulled off the headset, tossing at her side.

She stared at the stars, her thoughts returning to the encounter she had just barely escaped, causing a chill to run down her spine when she remembered the burning gold of the instinct leader’s eyes and how heavy the air felt around her as she struggled to deflect his attacks.

Shit, Hun’s right there’s no way Lux and Nox can stand up to a Titan. The more I think about it, the more surprised I am that I even got out of there in one piece, she thought.

You’re underestimating us, kit.

Cecylia smirked, she wasn’t surprised that Nox would be offended by her thoughts, “Perhaps, but you can’t argue that we have a long ways to go before we even stand a chance.”

Or maybe the both of you are not seeing things as clearly as I am

“Oh?” Cecylia muttered as Lux chimed in, It seems to me that the Team Go leaders and their Titans would make better allies than enemies.

Ha! That’s just cause you’re weak-willed and would rather suck up to them than actually fight, Nox barked.

At least one of us needs to be thinking clearly, besides who else to aid us in tearing down Team Rocket than the Titans themselves?

At that Nox actually seemed to laugh, And who says that the Titans and their bonded would give a shit about our kit to help her? Besides the Beast of Orre has been antagonizing them for years, if they were going to take out Team Rocket they would have done so already just to be left alone!

“Hush!! Both of you, how am I supposed to think straight with you two arguing?” Cecylia snapped and a jolt of pain made her bite her tongue. Thankfully both Lux and Nox remained quiet for the rest of the night while she waited to be picked up.

Although she knew Nox was right, the Titans would never help her regardless of whatever explanation she could come up with it was still an interesting thought.

Notes:

Cecylia DeLune- presently a glorified Team Rocket Grunt in the Johto Division under Executive Karen (link contains nsfw art)

Lux- Cecylia’s bonded Espeon

Nox- Cecylia’s bonded Umbreon

Hun and Attila- two high ranking Team Rocket officers, for my fic Hun is nonbinary and uses they/them pronouns

Karen- A Team Rocket Executive that heads the research branch in Johto

Dr. Namba- A Team Rocket scientist and researcher who has been assigned to managing and monitoring Cecylia and her bonded.

Professor Sebastian- A Team Rocket scientist and researcher who has been assigned to managing and monitoring Cecylia and her bonded. Hun and Attila work with him and often interact with Cecylia in his stead.

Spark- Team Instinct leader and Zapdos’ bonded (Based on surafage’s AU)

And to reiterate: Noire is a Pokemon Go OC created by surfacage  as well as the “And The World Will Turn To Ash AU” which I am just borrowing for the setting and characters. I do not own them and any questions concerning them should be directed to their creator (which I am not)^^ 

Cecylia’s story and existence has absolutely no impact what-so-ever on surfacage’s comic and characters. This is just a wild tangent I made up for my own OC.

Let me know what you think!!

[andrewdburton]

Death by a thousand cuts

I've been on the internet for a long, long time.

Via local Bulletin Board Systems, I started reading USENET newsgroups — mostly Star Trek and comic book and computer game stuff — during college in the late 1980s. I got sucked into the world of MUDs. Soon after graduating, I heard about this new thing called the World Wide Web, so I installed Mosaic on my Macintosh SE.

Before long, I taught myself HTML and built my first website. Eventually, in 1997, I started my first blog — back before blog was even a word!

I was drawn to the web (and the internet) in part because it seemed so egalitarian. Anyone could start a website about anything, and as long as they produced great stuff and shared it, people would read. I also liked the fact that almost everything was free. It didn't cost anything (besides your $19.95 monthly dial-up service) to access any of this information. The early web was a de facto sharing economy.

Best of all? The web was a wide open space, a blank slate, a platform free from dominance by mainstream media. Little people like me could have a voice.

None of this lasted long.

The Monetization of the Web

Soon, banner ads came along. I hated banner ads when they first appeared. “My site will never have banner ads,” I told my friends. (This was my first real lesson that you should never say never. My friends have been giving me grief about this for more than fifteen years!)

In 1998, Google arrived and changed everything. Until that point, web search was a miserable experience. It wasn't very good and it was overly monetized. Google was the opposite. It was amazing and had no monetization at all.

Hahahahahahahaha. How things have changed. Today, Google is all about ads. And using it is more and more a miserable experience. Look at this mess:

How long until Google has transformed itself into AltaVista?

In time, the mainstream media realized that the web wasn't going anywhere. By the early 2000s, they were treating it as an important part of their operations. By the early 2010s, the web had become the most important part of most media companies' platforms. And if it hadn't, those companies would soon be dead.

Meanwhile, two parallel (but related) trends developed.

First, there was the rise of “software as a service” (Saas). In the olden days — 1995, say — when you wanted a computer program, you went down to Circuit City and bought it. You paid for it once and you owned it forever. As “web apps” became a thing, companies shifted from one-time payments to a subscription model. Today, even big companies like Microsoft and Adobe have adopted the practice of continually charging for their products. (And if they don't use a subscription model, they often “sunset” their software, which is essentially the same damn thing.)

Second, forward-thinking sites and companies learned there was money to be made by disrupting existing business models. Netflix is a great example. Founded in 1997, this company has single-handedly destroyed multiple industries, most notably retail video. And, eventually, Netflix began to disrupt the monolithic television industry itself! Initially, this was beneficial to consumers. Now, in 2019, it's become apparent that oops, nope it's not. (See also.)

Twenty-five years ago, when the web was young, it was all about free. Anyone who could afford a computer and a $19.95/month dial-up connection was free to create and publish whatever they wanted — and free to consume what other people had created. It was like some sort of digital utopia.

Death by a Thousand Cuts

Today, the web is most decidedly not free. And it's getting less free with every passing month. Let's be honest: More and more, life online is fucking expensive. It's like death by a thousand cuts.

This morning as I was pulling together the latest edition of the GRS Insider — this site's weekly email — I experienced the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. And that prompted this article. (And delayed the newsletter haha.)

First, I tried to read a New York Times article: “Health facts aren't enough. Should persuasion become a priority?” But I couldn't. I've already read one article from the NYT this month: “D.I.Y. Private Equity Is Luring Small Investors”. It used to be that the NYT was free. Then they instituted a limit on article consumption unless you subscribed, but it was a limit I could live with (something like ten articles per month). Besides, I could bypass the paywall with my browser's incognito mode. Then they got wise to incognito mode, which is fair enough. Now, apparently, you get one free article per month.

Next, I wanted to read this article: “Families Go Deep in Debt to Stay in the Middle Class”. I mean, I really want to read that article. But I can't. It's at The Wall Street Journal and the WSJ has been locked behind a paywall for years.

Crashing into paywalls is a daily occurence now. No — it's an hourly occurrence. I follow a promising link and bam I'm brought up short because I have to pay to access the article. This happens at newspapers, magazines, and even internet-only sites. It makes me grateful for the publications that produce terrific content and still provide it for free. (One example? I find that I'm frequently drawn to articles at The Atlantic. They provide top-notch quality without asking for payment. But for how long?)

Meanwhile, the subscription software model is starting to take its toll too. I completely understand that some apps and services require subscriptions in order to function properly. I pay a monthly fee to have Get Rich Slowly hosted on a webserver. That makes sense.

It does not make sense to me that some of the tools we use to build Get Rich Slowly require monthly (or yearly) subscriptions. There's no ongoing maintenance. There's no draw on the vendor's resources.

It does not make sense to me that my favorite weather app for the iPhone requires an annual subscription. In fact, it's insane. (Yet I still pay it.)

It does not make sense to my that Pzizz, a sleep tool that I've used for over a decade, moved from standalone pricing to subscription pricing. (And hey, Pzizz people, how many times do I have to pay for your product before you give me lifetime access? Because I've paid three or four times already.)

Generally speaking, SaaS and subscription plans aren't necessary — they're just profitable for the companies that use them. And as long as we keep paying, they'll stick to the model.

All Good Things Must Come to an End

The “cut” that's really going to mess with people's minds? The upcoming high price of television.

When Netflix and Hulu and similar companies came along, they offered low-cost alternatives to cable. Cord cutting became an act of frugality. I ditched cable television in 2007 and have never looked back. Until now.

Now, big media companies have recognized that they too can get on the act. They too can inflict one of the thousand cuts.

CBS was quick on the draw. Want to watch the latest Star Trek shows? No Netflix for you! You have to pay $10 per month for CBS All Access — or $6 per month if you're willing to put up with commercials.

Disney is a heavy hitter and they want to get in on the act. Disney+ — coming November 12th — will cost $8 per month. Want to watch the latest Marvel and Star Wars shows? Want to watch Disney and Pixar movies? This is your only option.

By far, the most popular show on Netflix is NBC's The Office, which accounts for a mind-boggling 7% of all Netflix viewing in the U.S. NBC knows a golden goose when it sees one. When its current deal with Netflix expires, it's yanking The Office and using it as a tent pole to launch its own subscription service.

Meanwhile, Netflix and Hulu and Amazon all offer their own original programming. (At least the latter is free for folks who pay for Prime, which is nearly one-third of the United States. Holy shit!) Apple will soon get in on the game and they're using big names to draw viewers: Oprah Winfrey, Steven Spielberg, Reese Witherspoon, Jennifer Aniston, and more.

Streaming used to be a cheaper alternative to cable television. As Consumer Reports notes, these days it's a toss-up. And soon, streaming is likely to be the more expensive option.

Note: The one huge advantage to this proliferation of options? Users can pick and choose which content they subscribe to. For years (or decades), folks had been asking for a la carte pricing for cable channels. Well, I guess now we have it.

No Free Lunch

To provide supporting evidence for this article, I started to make a list of all of the software subscriptions I have, my software that's being “sunsetted” and needs to be upgraded (Quickbooks 2016 just notified me yesterday that it's no longer supported), the most common paywalls I encounter, and the television-related payments I make. I gave up. It's a doable thing, but it'd take too much time right now. It's a project for another day.

I know I sound like a cranky old man (again!), but I've had enough. I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take this anymore! Except that I probably am.

“Don't you expect to pay for services?” Kim asked me as I bitched to her this morning. “How does anybody run a business if it's free? In your mind, their business model should be to not charge the customer?”

Okay, fair point. I don't want to be taken for a choosing beggar.

As somebody who runs a website himself and knows how much it costs (in terms of time and money) just to maintain my tiny corner of the web, I absolutely do not begrudge anyone the desire to make money.

And, in fact, my biggest challenge since repurchasing Get Rich Slowly two years ago has been balancing my desire to provide excellent information without destroying the user experience with monetization. It's a delicate balance, one that I'm not sure I'm achieving. (But hey, I'm working on it!)

My frustration is that there are just so many companies extracting a pound of flesh from me. It's too much.

Yes, I realize most (of not all) of these expenses are voluntary. Yes, I realize this is capitalism in action. Yes, I realize there are often free (or cheaper) options. Yes, I realize we can't reset the internet to 1995. Believe me: I've been thinking about this issue for years now. I understand all of this stuff. But I don't like it.

In the end, my solution recently has been to KonMari my digital life. I've removed most of the apps from my iPhone and iPad, opting to cut those with subscription fees first. When possible, choose software with a one-time fee instead of an ongoing subscription. I try to steer clear of sites with paywalls. I killed Hulu. (But then Kim promptly joined.) Even though I love Star Trek and the Marvel Universe, I refuse to pay for CBS All Access and Disney+. I never will.

But then, I was never going to have banner ads on my website either, was I?

The post Death by a thousand cuts appeared first on Get Rich Slowly.

from Finance https://www.getrichslowly.org/death-by-a-thousand-cuts/ via http://www.rssmix.com/

[flauntpage]

In Appreciation of Don Nelson's Bad-Ass New Look, and Badder-Ass Legacy

ONE: In his new book, Rick Pitino writes about his early basketball memories, which include making his players at Providence and other stops do morning warm ups, midday practice, and a three hour practice every night. To hear Rick tell it in his tremendously self-serving book, this is a romantic time, when you could really TEACH PLAYERS the game for, like, 13 hours a day, a time before the nosy-ass NCAA started telling coaches how to run their programs. It reads as a fairly insufferable frame of mind to an even marginally normal person. In reading about it, you yearn for a coach who cares less, who uses the game to find something more ineffable and beautiful than the trophies you get when you win. You thirst, in short, for King Don Nelson, the greatest basketball coach who ever lived.

TWO: This weekend, The Naismith Memorial Basketball Hall of Fame inducted their 2018 Hall of Fame class. Twenty-year Women’s Pro Tina Thompson, Philadelphia 76ers Guard Maurice Cheeks, tragic forward Grant Hill, beefy point guard Jason Kidd, and obsessive sharpshooting legend Ray Allen, among others, were brought into the fold.

The best speech of the evening, from a pure public speaking perspective, came from Steve Nash, who delivered some inspiring words for the youth, said nice things to both his current AND former wives, went through his career dude by dude, and did a fucking tremendous job not thanking anyone he played with on the Lakers. But in addition to his well crafted speech, Nash also gave us a gift that will live through the ages.

For those not familiar with their rituals, players entering the Naismith Hall of Fame are “Welcomed” by someone already in the hall. This person sits behind them at the ceremony, walks up with them onto the stage, and stands by gracefully, giving the induction a sense of continuity with the past. Honestly, it’s a good idea. Inductees pick someone for literally every imaginable reason—Kidd picked Gary Payton, who was his mentor when he was young, Allen picked Reggie Miller, his immediate stylistic predecessor. But Steve Nash, goddess bless him, picked the greatest inductor imaginable.

Don Nelson, not seen on these shores for a hot second after he retired, moved to Hawaii, and founded a pot farm that primarily grows an O.G./Hindu Kush hybrid he calls “Nellie Kush.” Don looked fucking amazing, top to bottom, sporting a lighter frame, having lived a whole new life away from the world of never-ending pre-game spreads. His grey hair was draped across his mighty shoulders, and he was sporting some silvery dust on the ol’ chin and cheeks. Nelson now has a tan that, honestly, I didn’t know a human body was capable of even producing, it’s so rich and beautiful. It’s like a tan that a redwood would have, somehow. He totally eschewed a tie— reasonable, they always seemed a little out of place below his big red face— in favor of a CLASSIC all black getup that sat somewhere between Johnny Cash and outright cult leader.

And, to top it all off: he had an unusually large gold chain draped around his neck. It is, without a doubt, the greatest NBA Style moment since Kareem sported The Jacket.

THREE: While the anxiety-ridden perfectionism of Rick Pitino or Bobby Knight or Jim Boeheim caused them to live and die from play to play—obsessing over conditioning and image and hard work and all that horse shit everyone venerates in the abstract, but actually fucking hates in their own lives—Don just seemed like he rolled out of bed, took a look at his personnel, decided to try the most extreme shit possible, and put it into practice. He coached extremely good Milwaukee Bucks teams. He set Run TMC loose in Oakland in the 90’s, a time when basketball was mostly played in the half court. He coached Dream Team II, the ACTUAL greatest squad ever assembled.

The Nash/Nowitzki/Finley Dallas Mavericks were his charges, the heralds of the era of modernist, pace and space basketball thundering into the world. Then Don got fired for being too fucking cool, went BACK to the Warriors, took a team full of what can only realistically be described as “Fucking Miscreants” to the No. 8 seed, then they BEAT HIS OLD TEAM RIGHT THERE ON THE SPOT IN SIX GAMES, personally casting Avery Johnson from the world of viable NBA Head coaches and literally sending Dirk to the woods to lick his wounds.

FOUR: In the course of this whirlwind, Nellie became the winningest NBA Coach of all time, but that’s so tertiary to his importance that I nearly forgot to mention it. Because what Don gave NBA coaching that every dorky college coach in the world never could was a fucking rebel’s spirit, and an understanding that basketball, while it fucking rules, is not the end all and be all of life, that recruiting is fucking stupid, that working day and night to make the thing perfect is a fool’s errand, that trusting your player to make decent decisions and trusting the broad scope of your vision to guide them into something awesome (or, occasionally, terrible), was way better than bleeding and dying moment by moment.

And this ethic didn’t end with him. Gregg Popovich, who was his assistant, carries himself with the same win or lose, we’re still gettin’ dinner mentality. Phil Jackson is amazing at not giving a shit, or projecting that he doesn’t, at least. Nelson himself claims he got this carefree play fast/die hard attitude from Red Auerbach, who might be the greatest NBA Coach who ever lived. It’s an attitude towards life and sports that is, like, smart, and what a fucking normal person would do. It's the adult shit that produces actual wins when you’re coaching other adults who know how to handle themselves.

FIVE:

The best play of Don Nelson’s playing career is some truly unbelievable shit. In the last few seconds of the last game of Bill Russell’s career, Jerry West, the NBA’s all time overrated try-hard, was sitting on the precipice of notching one single Finals victory over Iron Bill and his wily crew. The Celtics are up one. John Havlicek has the ball. Keith Erickson knocks it out of his hands, and into the hands of Don Nelson and Nelson—who would someday wear an all black outfit and a gold chain to a Hall of Fame induction—grabs the ball, rises and shoots. It bounces off the back iron and drifts into the hoop, sealing the game for the Celtics and forever denying Jerry West the satisfaction of ultimate victory over his tormentor.

From this moment on, they would become the men this moment makes you. Nelson, devil may care, blowing shit up and halfway screwing it back together, changing the game through the pure force of madness that a shot that stupid going in gives you. West, doubling down on self-torment, managing his teams to the edge of existence, stressing out and doing everything in his power to convince everyone that he wasn’t a failure. Some people admire West, Pitino, all these fucking guys for that winning-is-everything bullshit. They are wrong. Nellie is the real hero we seek.

In Appreciation of Don Nelson's Bad-Ass New Look, and Badder-Ass Legacy published first on https://footballhighlightseurope.tumblr.com/

[amtushinfosolutionspage]

In Appreciation of Don Nelson’s Bad-Ass New Look, and Badder-Ass Legacy

ONE: In his new book, Rick Pitino writes about his early basketball memories, which include making his players at Providence and other stops do morning warm ups, midday practice, and a three hour practice every night. To hear Rick tell it in his tremendously self-serving book, this is a romantic time, when you could really TEACH PLAYERS the game for, like, 13 hours a day, a time before the nosy-ass NCAA started telling coaches how to run their programs. It reads as a fairly insufferable frame of mind to an even marginally normal person. In reading about it, you yearn for a coach who cares less, who uses the game to find something more ineffable and beautiful than the trophies you get when you win. You thirst, in short, for King Don Nelson, the greatest basketball coach who ever lived.

TWO: This weekend, The Naismith Memorial Basketball Hall of Fame inducted their 2018 Hall of Fame class. Twenty-year Women’s Pro Tina Thompson, Philadelphia 76ers Guard Maurice Cheeks, tragic forward Grant Hill, beefy point guard Jason Kidd, and obsessive sharpshooting legend Ray Allen, among others, were brought into the fold.

The best speech of the evening, from a pure public speaking perspective, came from Steve Nash, who delivered some inspiring words for the youth, said nice things to both his current AND former wives, went through his career dude by dude, and did a fucking tremendous job not thanking anyone he played with on the Lakers. But in addition to his well crafted speech, Nash also gave us a gift that will live through the ages.

For those not familiar with their rituals, players entering the Naismith Hall of Fame are “Welcomed” by someone already in the hall. This person sits behind them at the ceremony, walks up with them onto the stage, and stands by gracefully, giving the induction a sense of continuity with the past. Honestly, it’s a good idea. Inductees pick someone for literally every imaginable reason—Kidd picked Gary Payton, who was his mentor when he was young, Allen picked Reggie Miller, his immediate stylistic predecessor. But Steve Nash, goddess bless him, picked the greatest inductor imaginable.

Don Nelson, not seen on these shores for a hot second after he retired, moved to Hawaii, and founded a pot farm that primarily grows an O.G./Hindu Kush hybrid he calls “Nellie Kush.” Don looked fucking amazing, top to bottom, sporting a lighter frame, having lived a whole new life away from the world of never-ending pre-game spreads. His grey hair was draped across his mighty shoulders, and he was sporting some silvery dust on the ol’ chin and cheeks. Nelson now has a tan that, honestly, I didn’t know a human body was capable of even producing, it’s so rich and beautiful. It’s like a tan that a redwood would have, somehow. He totally eschewed a tie— reasonable, they always seemed a little out of place below his big red face— in favor of a CLASSIC all black getup that sat somewhere between Johnny Cash and outright cult leader.

And, to top it all off: he had an unusually large gold chain draped around his neck. It is, without a doubt, the greatest NBA Style moment since Kareem sported The Jacket.

THREE: While the anxiety-ridden perfectionism of Rick Pitino or Bobby Knight or Jim Boeheim caused them to live and die from play to play—obsessing over conditioning and image and hard work and all that horse shit everyone venerates in the abstract, but actually fucking hates in their own lives—Don just seemed like he rolled out of bed, took a look at his personnel, decided to try the most extreme shit possible, and put it into practice. He coached extremely good Milwaukee Bucks teams. He set Run TMC loose in Oakland in the 90’s, a time when basketball was mostly played in the half court. He coached Dream Team II, the ACTUAL greatest squad ever assembled.

The Nash/Nowitzki/Finley Dallas Mavericks were his charges, the heralds of the era of modernist, pace and space basketball thundering into the world. Then Don got fired for being too fucking cool, went BACK to the Warriors, took a team full of what can only realistically be described as “Fucking Miscreants” to the No. 8 seed, then they BEAT HIS OLD TEAM RIGHT THERE ON THE SPOT IN SIX GAMES, personally casting Avery Johnson from the world of viable NBA Head coaches and literally sending Dirk to the woods to lick his wounds.

FOUR: In the course of this whirlwind, Nellie became the winningest NBA Coach of all time, but that’s so tertiary to his importance that I nearly forgot to mention it. Because what Don gave NBA coaching that every dorky college coach in the world never could was a fucking rebel’s spirit, and an understanding that basketball, while it fucking rules, is not the end all and be all of life, that recruiting is fucking stupid, that working day and night to make the thing perfect is a fool’s errand, that trusting your player to make decent decisions and trusting the broad scope of your vision to guide them into something awesome (or, occasionally, terrible), was way better than bleeding and dying moment by moment.

And this ethic didn’t end with him. Gregg Popovich, who was his assistant, carries himself with the same win or lose, we’re still gettin’ dinner mentality. Phil Jackson is amazing at not giving a shit, or projecting that he doesn’t, at least. Nelson himself claims he got this carefree play fast/die hard attitude from Red Auerbach, who might be the greatest NBA Coach who ever lived. It’s an attitude towards life and sports that is, like, smart, and what a fucking normal person would do. It’s the adult shit that produces actual wins when you’re coaching other adults who know how to handle themselves.

FIVE:

The best play of Don Nelson’s playing career is some truly unbelievable shit. In the last few seconds of the last game of Bill Russell’s career, Jerry West, the NBA’s all time overrated try-hard, was sitting on the precipice of notching one single Finals victory over Iron Bill and his wily crew. The Celtics are up one. John Havlicek has the ball. Keith Erickson knocks it out of his hands, and into the hands of Don Nelson and Nelson—who would someday wear an all black outfit and a gold chain to a Hall of Fame induction—grabs the ball, rises and shoots. It bounces off the back iron and drifts into the hoop, sealing the game for the Celtics and forever denying Jerry West the satisfaction of ultimate victory over his tormentor.

From this moment on, they would become the men this moment makes you. Nelson, devil may care, blowing shit up and halfway screwing it back together, changing the game through the pure force of madness that a shot that stupid going in gives you. West, doubling down on self-torment, managing his teams to the edge of existence, stressing out and doing everything in his power to convince everyone that he wasn’t a failure. Some people admire West, Pitino, all these fucking guys for that winning-is-everything bullshit. They are wrong. Nellie is the real hero we seek.

In Appreciation of Don Nelson’s Bad-Ass New Look, and Badder-Ass Legacy syndicated from https://australiahoverboards.wordpress.com

[flauntpage]

In Appreciation of Don Nelson's Bad-Ass New Look, and Badder-Ass Legacy

ONE: In his new book, Rick Pitino writes about his early basketball memories, which include making his players at Providence and other stops do morning warm ups, midday practice, and a three hour practice every night. To hear Rick tell it in his tremendously self-serving book, this is a romantic time, when you could really TEACH PLAYERS the game for, like, 13 hours a day, a time before the nosy-ass NCAA started telling coaches how to run their programs. It reads as a fairly insufferable frame of mind to an even marginally normal person. In reading about it, you yearn for a coach who cares less, who uses the game to find something more ineffable and beautiful than the trophies you get when you win. You thirst, in short, for King Don Nelson, the greatest basketball coach who ever lived.

TWO: This weekend, The Naismith Memorial Basketball Hall of Fame inducted their 2018 Hall of Fame class. Twenty-year Women’s Pro Tina Thompson, Philadelphia 76ers Guard Maurice Cheeks, tragic forward Grant Hill, beefy point guard Jason Kidd, and obsessive sharpshooting legend Ray Allen, among others, were brought into the fold.

The best speech of the evening, from a pure public speaking perspective, came from Steve Nash, who delivered some inspiring words for the youth, said nice things to both his current AND former wives, went through his career dude by dude, and did a fucking tremendous job not thanking anyone he played with on the Lakers. But in addition to his well crafted speech, Nash also gave us a gift that will live through the ages.

For those not familiar with their rituals, players entering the Naismith Hall of Fame are “Welcomed” by someone already in the hall. This person sits behind them at the ceremony, walks up with them onto the stage, and stands by gracefully, giving the induction a sense of continuity with the past. Honestly, it’s a good idea. Inductees pick someone for literally every imaginable reason—Kidd picked Gary Payton, who was his mentor when he was young, Allen picked Reggie Miller, his immediate stylistic predecessor. But Steve Nash, goddess bless him, picked the greatest inductor imaginable.

Don Nelson, not seen on these shores for a hot second after he retired, moved to Hawaii, and founded a pot farm that primarily grows an O.G./Hindu Kush hybrid he calls “Nellie Kush.” Don looked fucking amazing, top to bottom, sporting a lighter frame, having lived a whole new life away from the world of never-ending pre-game spreads. His grey hair was draped across his mighty shoulders, and he was sporting some silvery dust on the ol’ chin and cheeks. Nelson now has a tan that, honestly, I didn’t know a human body was capable of even producing, it’s so rich and beautiful. It’s like a tan that a redwood would have, somehow. He totally eschewed a tie— reasonable, they always seemed a little out of place below his big red face— in favor of a CLASSIC all black getup that sat somewhere between Johnny Cash and outright cult leader.

And, to top it all off: he had an unusually large gold chain draped around his neck. It is, without a doubt, the greatest NBA Style moment since Kareem sported The Jacket.

THREE: While the anxiety-ridden perfectionism of Rick Pitino or Bobby Knight or Jim Boeheim caused them to live and die from play to play—obsessing over conditioning and image and hard work and all that horse shit everyone venerates in the abstract, but actually fucking hates in their own lives—Don just seemed like he rolled out of bed, took a look at his personnel, decided to try the most extreme shit possible, and put it into practice. He coached extremely good Milwaukee Bucks teams. He set Run TMC loose in Oakland in the 90’s, a time when basketball was mostly played in the half court. He coached Dream Team II, the ACTUAL greatest squad ever assembled.

The Nash/Nowitzki/Finley Dallas Mavericks were his charges, the heralds of the era of modernist, pace and space basketball thundering into the world. Then Don got fired for being too fucking cool, went BACK to the Warriors, took a team full of what can only realistically be described as “Fucking Miscreants” to the No. 8 seed, then they BEAT HIS OLD TEAM RIGHT THERE ON THE SPOT IN SIX GAMES, personally casting Avery Johnson from the world of viable NBA Head coaches and literally sending Dirk to the woods to lick his wounds.

FOUR: In the course of this whirlwind, Nellie became the winningest NBA Coach of all time, but that’s so tertiary to his importance that I nearly forgot to mention it. Because what Don gave NBA coaching that every dorky college coach in the world never could was a fucking rebel’s spirit, and an understanding that basketball, while it fucking rules, is not the end all and be all of life, that recruiting is fucking stupid, that working day and night to make the thing perfect is a fool’s errand, that trusting your player to make decent decisions and trusting the broad scope of your vision to guide them into something awesome (or, occasionally, terrible), was way better than bleeding and dying moment by moment.

And this ethic didn’t end with him. Gregg Popovich, who was his assistant, carries himself with the same win or lose, we’re still gettin’ dinner mentality. Phil Jackson is amazing at not giving a shit, or projecting that he doesn’t, at least. Nelson himself claims he got this carefree play fast/die hard attitude from Red Auerbach, who might be the greatest NBA Coach who ever lived. It’s an attitude towards life and sports that is, like, smart, and what a fucking normal person would do. It's the adult shit that produces actual wins when you’re coaching other adults who know how to handle themselves.

FIVE:

The best play of Don Nelson’s playing career is some truly unbelievable shit. In the last few seconds of the last game of Bill Russell’s career, Jerry West, the NBA’s all time overrated try-hard, was sitting on the precipice of notching one single Finals victory over Iron Bill and his wily crew. The Celtics are up one. John Havlicek has the ball. Keith Erickson knocks it out of his hands, and into the hands of Don Nelson and Nelson—who would someday wear an all black outfit and a gold chain to a Hall of Fame induction—grabs the ball, rises and shoots. It bounces off the back iron and drifts into the hoop, sealing the game for the Celtics and forever denying Jerry West the satisfaction of ultimate victory over his tormentor.

From this moment on, they would become the men this moment makes you. Nelson, devil may care, blowing shit up and halfway screwing it back together, changing the game through the pure force of madness that a shot that stupid going in gives you. West, doubling down on self-torment, managing his teams to the edge of existence, stressing out and doing everything in his power to convince everyone that he wasn’t a failure. Some people admire West, Pitino, all these fucking guys for that winning-is-everything bullshit. They are wrong. Nellie is the real hero we seek.

In Appreciation of Don Nelson's Bad-Ass New Look, and Badder-Ass Legacy published first on https://footballhighlightseurope.tumblr.com/