#it's entirely unimportant to the story and honestly something in the background but I think it's funny

[mud-castle]

I really gotta stop drawing cats who appear past the first arc in eos au.

[spotsupstuff]

What’s your thoughts on all of the scugs and their campaigns? I’m curious in general, but also wonder about peoples thoughts on the scugs if they dislike the campaign or vice versa

well- i haven't played through all of the scugs yet (haven't touched Riv or Saint at all) so i can't really speak on what i think about the campaigns when it comes to the gameplay itself. ya get me

for Monk: i really like the idea of a really chill campaign even though i don't fucking know why but i managed to have more rage inducing time with Monk than with Surv. i REALLY fuckin love Monk's story though. it's So Fucking Good, i'm such a slut for actions made out of absolute, endless and unquestionable platonic love between siblings (wink wonk at my takes on Moon and Nish). like that one post i wrote about the comparisons between Monk the brother/Surv the sister and Pebbles the brother/Moon the sister? that one line where i was like "he walks across the entire facility grounds of two iterators, dreaming of her, having faith in that she's still around."????? i LOVE IT SO MUCH -punches a wall- imagine you love your sibling so so much that even though they might be dead your faith in their ability to live on is so Fecking Stronk that you are dreaming of them, see them sleep in the corner of a shelter

for Surv: Surv is Surv, it's like trying to live without bread and water. can't say anything negative or really positive about the campaign cuz it's just so intrigated into my head as the Base for everything. just like bread and water, you love and appreciate it silently. can always count on it being there. doesn't mean it gets loved any less just because you don't put the thought of adoration upon it every second. it's just a constant note in the background of your life that offers comfort by its existence

for Hunter: i fucking LOVE... i Have played Hunter only after Spear and Arti though which, as defined by utuber user Ruby Rooz, is cheating (/lh) so i haven't had the same frustrations with the cycle limit like a pre-Downpour player (even though i'm pre-Downpour, i never finished any campaign back then). i had fun just kind of zooming by everything and idk man, NSH is my absolute favorite iterator so everytime i looked at the green neuron i just kind of smiled to myself cuz i kept thinking "he's right here, making the journey with me". Hunter's lore is what first captivated me and made me interested in RW (along with the buddhistic roots of the game's religion)! they introduced us to NSH, explained quite a bit about Moon's current position, what Hunter could mean to Pebbles makes me wanna -Pepe Silvia bit from Always Sunny in Philadelphia-

for Gour: i don't really have much to say about their campaign. i'd put it above Monk gameplay-wise but story-wise underneath them. running around collecting food is nice, i like how it deviates from the previous three in that the iterators basically don't matter at all. the most they matter is eating a neuron and yellin at Pebbles to LET ME OUT LET ME OOOOUUUUUT. it offers a different perspective from what we are used to and i really like when things turn 180° and just walk a completely different path from what is "widely accepted" (honestly a reason why i silently adore Shkika's Innocence so much). in Gour's eyes these godly machines are nothing more than just part of the background. unimportant. just another obsticle. something so important in one part of the world diminished into nothing important. no matter how holy someone thinks a thing is, to someone else it's going to be pointless (and, wonderfully enough, it goes the other way around as well.). Gour's most shining moment story-wise is reached once you think about it deeper and come to realise that what they stand for is a hint of variety of understanding the world. they expand the world very subtly. they make thinking about RW less claustrophobic. other than that i'm just "i just think they are neat" about them. i keep quoting the Ruby Rooz video when i think about Gour too- "who ELSE has the arm of a GOD capable of decimating most of the local fauna with one spear and strongly suggesting to those that it doesn't to promptly LeAVhe." also hot take but the big gamer peeps need to stop bitchin bout the tiredness factor of Gour. good challenge. nice variety. are you allergic to planning? have you not listened to Lyanna Kea, in her skits about Asian moms, telling you to have some Initiative for once in your life? because i am an OVERTHINKER and that one utube short, said in that way of speaking changed my fucking life and now i'm here living to my fullest with the local fatty. jokes on u, speedrunners, i've found joy

for Arti: murder is fun! :) scav tolls are not. :( ability to maim remains superior to everything else in this fuck of a game (affectionate). Garbage Wastes need to be stopped. this is probably my number one fav screen from the entire game (Metropolis kicks ass, the lore reveal in person of at least a Small piece of what it was like to be an Ancient makes me giddy)

for Riv: i recognize a threat to my safety in those eyes. i do not trust them. gameplay experience pending (i'm going to break something while travelling through The Rot, i already know it). the soundtrack Not Your Rain is one of the best fucking things i've ever heard come from a game (high praise) and everything that is happening to Pebbles in Riv's campaign goes right along my morbid angst needs. other than that Riv is also in the "i just think they are neat" category. i wish we could've gotten a clearer hint towards what's up with Riv and what iterator they met

for Spear: the most kickass motherfucker was made by the most fail cringe dumb fuck creature i've ever been forced to bear witness to and i am both perplexed and deeply delighted by this (i wanna square up with Suns so bad i cannot begin to explain how much i wanna kick their ass). Spear's campaign is rn my most fav one because of all the lore drops, so much new canon NSH content, the sheer Worldbuilding, the fact that there's been more iterators shown and that they felt like Normal People... the conversation about SoS betting on lizards, the reveal that NSH was the first one to bring forth slugcats as messangers, the conversations between Secluded Instinct and Wandering Omen are one of my most favorite broadcasts besides NSH's attempts to reach Moon. gameplay-wise, i love that Spear's campaign feels like upgraded Survivor campaign. you are faster now, there's more aggressive enemies, you are on no time limit, you don't have to bother with finding spears, you don't have to bother with Directly Taking A Corpse Into Your Hands and Eating it, you get to eat the fuckin carnivorous plants... -dreamy sigh- what more could one want. the whole lore pearl bringing to Moon was a headache without a stomach storage but that is such a little piece of it that i don't mind. the storyline pearl i could stand because i found it nice that i was forced to adapt to it. Moon's whole superstructure was breath-taking to see and i'm very glad that we got to explore an uninfected iterator while their antigravity and bugzappers didn't work. though it hurt to think about it cuz We Care Moon, i had a lot of fun slugging around her superstructure and using needle ladders to get around- OH YEAH i fuckin LOVE making needle ladders. i also really enjoyed the fact that you can make friends with the scavs like -snaps fingers- this fast thanks to the whole needle production thing. seeing Pebbles get angry like that was awesome. i'll admit that i really admire his anger and this sort of... "justice" seeking (?) he has going on that is heavily influenced by the game's/Ancient's religion. you can fight me on this but Pebbles is the least pathetic character in the entire game besides like Hunter, maybe NSH and Gour. i also got to meet the ugliest scav i've seen in RW so far and i'll prolly never forget the experience because i Just got thru the Underhang to the Wall (my first time going thru Underhang and using the grapple worms, i was dodging having to that for ages) and i was SO pissed and annoyed that i was just about ready to quit the game for that session but then i saw this ugly ass motherfucker just waltzing about and the sheer and sudden Horror and Affront of an Artist i've felt straight up snapped me out of my rage. LIKE GJLKDMKLSD that NEVER happened to me before Suns' design also kinda sorta actually plays into my little silly iterator color coding theory from two years ago which was fun to see! i'll still kick their fuckin ass Garbage Wastes need to be stopped. here are my fav screenies from my Spear playthru

for Saint i'm rn mostly like:

i don't fuckin know what why and how is happening and it feels like such a giant ass steppy from what i had grown used to with the base slugs that even though i'm very stern on myself with being open minded about everything all the time i'm having trouble adjusting to it kgjsalkmklsdgjklsd i don't trust myself with giving a solid verdict until i've beaten Saint myself. i'll prolly talk about it in my "finished the slug!" post when i do get thru 'em

finally rating of the campaigns: Monk - 7/10 Survivor - 8/10 Hunter - 9.5/10 Gourmand - 6.9/10 Artificer - 9/10 Rivulet - TBA Spearmaster - 10/10 Saint - TBA

[staticscreenwriting]

LOVE LIKE THE MOVIES // BUCKY BARNES // 3

THREE - Little Shop Of Horrors

Masterlist

Summary: This is a story of boy meets girl. The boy, Bucky Barnes, finds himself thrown into a world that seems so different from everything he’s ever known. The girl, (Y/N) knows entirely too much about rom-coms and is quite particular about the way she eats her popcorn. Bucky meets (Y/N) a few months after returning to NYC. He knows almost immediately that becoming her friend is inevitable. This is a story of boy meets girl. This is a story about love. (Bucky Barnes x female!Reader // a few spoilers for TFATWS)

[additional note: I am German. Sometimes I get the tense wrong or make mistakes. I am useless when it comes to punctuation. Go easy on me, please.]

Bucky vividly remembers being about 10 years old and sitting on the living room floor watching his father assemble a heavy cabinet made from dark, massive wood. It had intricate gold ornaments along the sides and around the edges and even at that young age, he knew that it must’ve been expensive.

He likes thinking back to that memory, mostly because it’s one of the few that he can still tightly hold onto and recount the exact way he’s felt then, and partly because it’s so seemingly insignificant. It’s nice to know that some of the memories he regained after having his mind wiped clean, are tiny unimportant ones. It’s not just the big moments and grand gestures that make life worth living. Sometimes it’s the little things, the small details you look back on and fondly remember with a smile on your face.

Looking at the furniture before him, Bucky can’t imagine what his mother would think of these cabinets. Everything is white or beige or grey and there’s a lot of shiny black fronts and glass doors. The place is huge, so huge they have to tape arrows on the floor so people don’t get lost, and it smells of artificial vanilla and sawdust.

It’s not like he hates the furniture here, it’s just a lot and quite honestly, he’s not sure what really matches his personal style. Hell, he hasn’t had a personal style since before he went to fight in the war.

“ Ooooh, this one is very you! “ (Y/N) exclaims as she lets herself fall onto a fluffy brown 2-seat sofa.

If it wasn’t for her, Bucky wouldn’t be here. Not only because he wants her to come around more often and actually be able to sit on a couch, but also because she was literally the one driving them both here.

“Watcha doin? “

That was the text that started it, and before he knew she had pulled up to his apartment building, arm hanging from her open car window, and yelled “Get in loser, we’re going furniture shopping! “

Bucky assumes that is another movie reference though he doesn’t dare ask her about it.

“Nope, that’s a two-seater. Too small. I want to be able to sleep on it. “

“ Or, and hear me out on this one, you could get a new bed to sleep in. “

He doesn’t have any reply to that. It’s not like he doesn’t want to sleep in his bed, it’s just — it’s too soft. It’s too comfortable. It makes it easy to fall asleep and dream. And it’s never pleasant dreams. It’s nightmares. It’s faces that haunt him. Innocent faces. Eyes filled with terror. Fear. Fear of him. It’s nightmares. It’s memories.

When he doesn’t answer, (Y/N) pulls herself back up from the sofa and wanders on “or we’ll just have to find a bigger couch, that’s fine too. “

And at that moment he’s entirely grateful that she doesn’t push him any further.

They wander around the store for a while longer, slalom in between sofas and recliners, swerve in and out of mock-up rooms, all the while (Y/N) keeps throwing puns at him incorporating the Swedish names of the furniture.

Hanging out with her kind of reminds him of the times he hung out with Steve when both of them were so much younger. Of course, it’s nothing alike. He’s not even close to the person he was then, the boy he was then. The thing is, back then everything was easy and light. Being here with her and listening to her horrible puns, that’s easy too. For right now, he doesn’t even notice the weight that’s constantly resting on his heart or the perpetual shadow that seems to rest above him. This is easy and it feels so nice.

They step into yet another room, this one painted a dark forest green. Against the wall, there’s a dark wooden cabinet holding books and a fake tv and in the middle is a corner sofa made from dark brown leather. It’s big enough to fit both him and (Y/N) and maybe even Lady if she’s okay with cuddling up a little to either of them.

“ I like that one,” Bucky says and lets himself plop down on the couch. It’s comfortable but not too soft. It’s just right. Is this what Goldilocks felt like?

(Y/N) sits down next to him, rests her feet on top of the couch table and for a second it’s just them and the black screen of the fake tv and the intercom system calling out for little Kyle to be picked up at the Småland play area.

“ Honey, “ (Y/N) speaks up after a moment, “ I think the tv is broken? “ her voice ringing through the mock-up in a thick Transatlantic accent, making her sound like the women in the movies he grew up with.

“ Huh. Ain’t that something ?”

“ Well didn’t you fix it like I told you? “

“ Guess I must’ve forgotten,” Bucky plays along, trying to suppress the smirk pulling the corner of his lips upwards.

“ Ugh, remind me again why I married you? “

Bucky shrugs his shoulders casually “ my good looks? “

“ Oh, don’t flatter yourself. It’s very unbecoming. Good thing is — “ she announces as jumps up, pulling Bucky up with her and right over into the next mock-up living room. “ We have another tv.”

As Kyle’s parents are called out again, (Y/N) and Bucky tumble from one room into the next. From kitchen to bathroom to fake little balcony. All setting the stage for another chapter from their made-up marriage. Scenes from a movie never made, a book never written. A beautiful kaleidoscope of could-be and never-was. A nice fantasy to get lost in.

If this was a rom-com, (Y/N) thinks, this would be the falling in love montage. Some killer indie track would play in the background and it would be featured in at least one Buzzfeed article about romantic gestures.

But it’s not a movie, it’s real life and she isn’t the romantic lead and Bucky is — well he would make a great leading man now that she thinks about it.

They make their way back to the green living room with the brown couch and the ‘broken’ tv and fall back against the leather, laughter shaking their bodies, tears of joy stinging at the corners of their eyes. As she catches her breath, (Y/N) taps Bucky softly on the right shoulder and drops her voice to a whisper.

“Honey,” she says “I don’t know how to tell you this but uh — there’s a family on our balcony.”

Bucky’s eyes follow her outstretched hand and sure enough on the adjacent fake balcony is a family of 4 staring back at them. And just like that, they fall back into a beautiful harmony of laughter.

“So explain to me again what this movie is about?” Bucky asks as (Y/N) takes another sip from her coke can.

“Dude buys a plant, it starts eating people.”

“And this is gonna show me what women want these days?”

A joyful chuckle falls from (Y/N)’s lips. “I mean … there is a love story and a moral about how far you’re willing to go for the people you love even if it might be morally questionable, but maybe — maybe we should consider this one the Halloween special.”

Bucky shrugs his shoulder as if to say “okay fine with me” and leans back against the car seat. The massive screen of the drive-in is currently playing some kind of ice cream commercial that has (Y/N) softly humming along to the jingle.

This trip wasn’t planned, in fact, they’d been on their way back home when a billboard at the side of the road caught (Y/N)’s attention and put a huge grin on her face, so wide it could’ve split her face in two.

That’s how he ended up parked neatly in a row of cars, Coca-Cola in hand, popcorn resting in between him and (Y/N) waiting for the commercials to end and the movie to begin.

“You’re gonna love this one,” she’s told him beforehand. He’s a little skeptical about it but he’s not gonna tell her. Bucky is just so appreciative of the fact that she bothers trying to introduce him to these things. They might not end up being for him but it’s a good feeling to have someone care this much. Someone who hasn’t been with him through all the shit. Someone who doesn’t feel responsible because they pity him. Someone who doesn’t owe it to Steve to look after Bucky…

“So … I still have some homework to do.” He chimes in thinking back to their conversation on his living room floor.

“Homework that involves me?”

“Mmh. Doc thinks I should learn some more things about you. Apparently, it’s not enough to know that you’re crazy about movies and talk a lot.”

“I do talk a lot.” (Y/N) agrees and pops a piece of popcorn into her mouth. “I don’t know what to tell you. What you want to know?”

“Anything.”

Since coming back from oblivion, Bucky hasn’t really made an effort to get to know anyone. Growing closer to people only means there’s more for you to lose. More people you can potentially hurt. He doesn’t usually learn new things about people because he doesn’t ask. Because he doesn’t want to know. It’s a lonely life but it’s safe. It’s comfortable.

But this is different. He’s in too deep now to stop. And yeah, maybe this is his homework. Maybe he asks because his therapist told him too but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t care. He wants to know about (Y/N). Even the little things. The insignificant details.

“Well as I said before, I’ve studied literature and creative writing. I want to be an author. That’s uh — that’s all I’ve ever wanted to be. The thing is it’s very hard to actually get people to give your writing a chance. Especially now. The world is in such a weird limbo after everyone came back. There’s no room for my art right now. So I work as a waitress to make ends meet. “

“What would you write about?” Bucky asks and in her eyes, in the surprise that’s so clearly written on her face, he can see that people don’t ask her that all too often.

“I don’t know, life? “

“Love stories?”

She lets out a mix between a scoff and a snort “what do I know about romance? I can tell you all about the love the movies and the songs and the books want to sell us, and don’t get me wrong, I love that. But I don’t think I’ve ever really experienced true and honest romantic love. So how could I ever write about it ?”

For a moment silence falls upon them. It’s neither comfortable nor awkward. It just is. Sometimes that’s enough.

“Look, I might not know a lot about love either, but I do know that dreams are worth holding on to, no matter how out of reach they seem. If it’s something you believe in and that you’re passionate about, it’s worth fighting for it.”

“Huh, didn’t put you for such a motivational speaker. Where’ve you got that from”

“Didn’t think the skinny boy from Brooklyn was ever gonna save a whole bunch of lives and fight in a war. Steve was the walking proof that you can do anything. “

“You miss him, huh?”

People don’t usually ask about Steve. They either don’t care how Bucky feels about the whole situation or they know it’s a tough topic and avoid it altogether. The worst part is he doesn’t even know how to respond. Yes of course he misses Steve, more than anything really, but there’s also a little bit of resentment swinging along. With Steve here by his side, it always felt like there was someone there who understood exactly what Bucky was going through. Someone who also had to figure out how to navigate this new life. But now with Steve gone, he feels so utterly alone.

“Every day.”

“Look I’m not going to ask what happened because quite honestly I’m still trying to grasp the fact that there are aliens and superheroes and wizards — “

“Wizards are not a thing.”

“You sure?”

Bucky lets out a slightly annoyed sigh “Yup. 100%”

“What’s the Strange guy?”

“Sorcerer.”

“That’s not the same?”

“No.”

(Y/N) considers for a moment, eyes screwed up in uncertainty before she shrugs her shoulder “ alright if you say so. Anyway, my point is, I don’t know if you have that many people to talk to and I don’t know if you even want to talk about Steve but if you do … well you can talk to me. I know I talk a lot but I’m also a really good listener. “

There’s no doubt in his mind that she is. He doesn’t know if he’s ready to talk about Steve yet though. Not when his heart is still at war whether or not to be angry. Not when he’s still so uncertain about his own complicated emotions.

“Thanks, I uh — I appreciate it.”

Loud music starts to play and (Y/N)’s head snaps towards the screen just in time for the title card to pop up in big colorful letters as three women shimmy across the street and start singing.

Bucky can’t help but let his gaze travel back towards (Y/N) every once in a while. There’s something about her he can’t quite figure out, but the way her eyes light up as she watches the movie and the smile on her face, it gives him a warm feeling. Like bad things don’t exist for the 90 minutes they sit together and watch a film.

“Sooooo?” (Y/N) asks as she parks the car in front of Bucky’s place. Her eyes still hold a sparkle that’s both mischievous and excited.

“I actually liked this one a little.”

“A little?”

“Look it’s not gonna be my favorite movie but I had fun. But uh — maybe that’s just because I’ve watched it with you.”

(Y/N) grants him a beautiful smile. It’s full of warmth and care and honesty. And he’s glad he told her, even if it makes him vulnerable.

“You telling me I’m a good friend?”

“Guess so.”

“Well, you’re a good friend too, Bucky.”

He hopes she’s right though he has a hard time believing it. He’s never seen himself as the greatest friend. Everything he did for Steve he did because he knew Steve would do the same. It came so naturally from both of them that it never felt like he was doing anything special or exceptional. It was as easy as breathing.

“Do you wanna come up? We could order some food.”

“Oh, I can’t. Gotta pick up Lady from Robin’s place. But as soon as your couch is delivered count me in as the first sleepover guest. “

“Will do. Hey, you think I should name the plant we bought (Y/N) 2?”

“Depends, you wanna feed the neighborhood Dentist to it”

“Maybe.”

They fall into another fit of laughter and even though it’s not that funny, and even though it’s really dumb and silly actually, Bucky enjoys it so much. He can’t remember a day when he laughed this much, felt this light.

“Oh, by the way, I’m throwing a pre-Halloween-party next weekend. If you’re free you should totally drop by.”

“I um — A friend is coming around that weekend.”

“Then bring your friend! The more the merrier, right ?”

Sam is gonna be down, there’s no doubt in Bucky’s mind about it. Sam isn't the problem, he never is. It’s Bucky. Going to a party is terrifying for someone who’s never known anything but the 1940s. This can only end up in disasters.

And yet …

“Okay, I’ll let him know.”

“Cool. Awesome. Just uh — Just text me when you know. Also, there’s no special theme so you can dress up as whatever.”

“I’m not dressing up.”

(Y/N) blows a raspberry against her arm “lame! But whatever, you do you.”

He guesses that means as much as “suit yourself”.

They bid each other goodbye with a hug and a promise from (Y/N) to Bucky to text him once she’s home just so he knows she’s safe.

To her, that’s a gesture so sweet and endearing it sends a jolt through her heart. To him, it’s as natural as breathing. You do what you can to keep those safe that you care about, even if it’s just a simple little text.

“You dressed up!”

“No, I didn’t.”

“Man, You’re wearing a costume. I’m looking at you right now. I can see it. You dressed up.”

“These are just my clothes.”

“These are just your clothes? Your normal clothes?”

“Yes.”

“You’re wearing Converse now?”

“ mmh.”

“Your Jeans are cuffed, man. I’ve never seen you cuff your jeans.”

“It’s something I do now.”

Bucky isn’t a very religious person. He doesn’t pray very often. At that moment though, he prays to god and every higher spirit one might choose to believe in, to open up the earth and let it swallow him whole.

“Look,” Sam says and gives Bucks a friendly pat on the back “you don’t gotta be embarrassed by it. I dressed up!”

“Yeah, what even are you, by the way? An exterminator?”

“I — what? No! I’m a ghostbuster.”

“Okay. Whatever that is.”

“Whatev— Bucky, Man you really gotta go with the times a little. I know you’re practically ancient but the Ghostbusters? Catch up!”

“Whatever. I'm not dressing up. Can we go?” Bucky sighs in exasperation, making Sam’s grin grow even bigger. Bucky knows that he’s just playing into his game, that Sam loves riling him up. That doesn’t mean it’s any easier to not let it get to him.

“Alright alright. Hold your horses. I’m ready. Let’s go … Danny Zuko.”

Bucky wants to punch him then but Sam is out the door faster than Bucky can even react, his loud laughter sounding through the hallway.

There are people everywhere. Sitting on the kitchen counter, lounging on the couches, leaning against the wall by the open windows. Everywhere. The apartment is small and with so many people inside, it looks absolutely packed. Like sardines in a tin.

Music echos through the place, a song Bucky faintly recognizes from the radio but can’t name. Sam seems to enjoy it though, his body already swaying along to the tune.

“Hey Buck, where’s your girl?” He asks as both of them let their eyes travel across the room and over the crowd.

“She’s not my girl and I don’t —“

In the middle of the room is a fish tank. It separates the living room area from the dining room and kitchen. Blue and green hues radiate from it as colorful fish circle around and swerve in and out of the plants.

But Bucky hardly noticedsthe fish, as his eyes fall onto the girl at the other side of the tank. The water sends a blue shimmer across her skin but her smile doesn’t lose any of the warmth it always holds. She looks beautiful. She always does but there’s something about her tonight that’s different from all the times he’s seen her before. Something ethereal.

At that moment, Bucky feels a fluttery feeling in his heart, in his bones, in his blood. He knows this feeling, has felt it before, a long time ago. Maybe, he thinks, maybe there could be more than friendship there.

And that thought absolutely terrifies him. Because falling for someone makes you foolish and dumb and vulnerable. And that’s awfully scary.

Taglist // if you want to be added or taken off just message me :) //: 

@zaynzierulez // @je-like-you // @dracoxxyoflam​ // @jackiehollanderr​ // @majo240820 // @kay-gilles // @booksb4looksstuff​ // @jckie94​ // @charmed-asylum​ // @shawnie--jo​ // @yllwtaxi​ // ​​

[hopeymchope]

Godzilla Singular Point

I came into Singular Point with some trepidation because Godzilla’s history in anime is both very recent and extremely bad. The three anime movies released between 2017 and 2019 are easily the worst work of famed writer Gen Urobuchi and honestly contain more bullshit than I can even get into here. Those movies and this series were both Godzilla anime properties commissioned by Netflix, which didn’t get my hopes up very much. Thankfully, Singular Point is a very different beast from the anime trilogy. One could argue it’s very different from most Godzilla media, actually — at least from my perspective. And I’m still a pretty entry-level fan of Toho’s Big G, all things considered.

Let me just warn you right up front: This smartphone-based virtual assistant is basically the breakout star of the series. 

When you think “Godzilla,” you probably don’t think “incredibly dense sci-fi concepts,” but with the big G’s first-ever anime series, the writers clearly set out to change that perception. Before the first kaiju even appears, the lead characters are plucked from obscurity and dropped into a mystery that involves fourth-dimensional time travel, physical objects that look different from all sides, theoretical math concepts, self-propagating A.I., and a whole lot more. And it’s NEVER made clear how all of it connects to the rampaging kaiju! Although we spend a lot of time investigating a red dust or sand that is very obviously tied to the monsters in SOME way, no one ever makes a connection that explains the relationship. Maybe we’re supposed to wait for a later season to connect the threads... but let’s get into the idea of “another season” later.

I like to think of myself as someone who typically enjoys hard sci-fi, but even with the characters spending loads of time trying to explain the high concepts driving the story, I was never able to fully wrap my head around what was going on in the mystery at the center of GSP. I rewound and rewatched a few explanations, but I still walked away feeling lost. I eventually settled on some vague, loose understandings of most of the ideas mentioned, but those understandings were subject to being ripped apart in subsequent scenes when I was shown or told something completely at odds with what I thought I knew. I can’t say I was ever bored with the thick, dense scientific concepts on offer — trying to find purchase with these far-out ideas kept me glued to the screen — but damn, I sure wish I was able to comprehend them.

What do we want?! DENSE SCIENTIFIC DISCUSSION AND DEBATE! When do we want it?! AFTER THOROUGH RESEARCH, TESTING, AND PEER REVIEW!

Another weird thing about this show is that the lead characters remain in separate locations and on separate tracks for the entire duration. We have Yun — a mechanical engineer and programmer who has an amazing grasp on physics and human behavior. And we have Mei — a grad student who is deeply invested in theoretical science, UMAs, cryptids and other far-flung concepts. Both of them are basically geniuses in their fields, and even though they take opposing views of just how flexible reality is, their shared ability to think “outside the box” becomes the crucial component in solving the mystery at the core of the series. Because they don’t even know one another (despite being separated by like, ONE degree), they only ever interact via text messages and behind screen names, which feels pretty damn weird. At least  I immediately liked both of them, with Yun being the standout to me because of how his lowkey reactions to crazy shit generates a lot of humor.

This soundtrack cover LIES; you will never see these characters in a room together like this. 

Alas, we don’t get to know the characters a whole lot beyond what we learned of them in the first two episodes. It’s not long before they’re trapped in a series of complicated exposition dumps, endlessly attempting to explain the high concepts of the show to other characters as well as my dumb ass in the audience. The fact that I liked them in the first couple of episodes carried me through more than half of the show, but I was always hoping to see them share more of themselves or just display more emotion. Anime as a medium excels at emotional storytelling. But despite the major, world-altering events the characters are constantly warning us about, none of them seem to have many emotions about said events. 

Further complicating matters is how, when major events finally occur in this show, they are often kept off-screen. One character shockingly dies, but the portrayal of that death is so piss-poor that I didn’t even realize it’d happened until someone mentioned their death in the next episode. After that vague death, I was particularly sensitive to anything that looked like it might possibly be lethal. Yet a later event that is played up as a tragic, fatal occurrence ends up... fine, somehow? It’s not clear how the character survives, because — even after one of our heroes is left screaming their name in despair as they seemingly die — nobody ever talks about or explains how he’s just fine a couple of scenes later. And near the end of the series, there’s a major transformation that occurs for one of the characters, and we never see it happen nor do we understand HOW it happened. It’s just that suddenly, this character is extremely different due to off-screen reasons that are only vaguely verbalized.

I guess these two really bonded at some point for some reason? And what you are seeing here is literally the height of emotion shown in the entire show.

Even though the overarching story of the series so far pretty clearly wraps up in episode 13, we then get a post-credits tease for a potential second season. So the question becomes: Would I watch that?

Well... Godzilla Singular Point is a series with a lot of issues that kept me at arms’ length from it — tons of extremely confusing dialogue, highly frustrating choices in direction that lead to baffling storytelling, characters who are mostly exposition-dumping — and yet there’s still some foundational work here that I appreciated a lot. When the action occurs, it’s pretty cool/fun. And when urban destruction occurs, it can be awe-inspiring. The human characters, though little-explored, have likable and interesting foundations to them that could be expanded upon. And I didn’t even mention the soundtrack, which features a variety of musical styles combined with the classic Ifukube theme music and an OP that is an absolute banger. (I have a weakness when it comes to music; a good soundtrack can carry me through even the blandest series sometimes.) Even the core idea of centering a Godzilla series around hard science and mathematical concepts is a compelling one, I think! I just hated the execution of it; they went waaaaay too far on poorly explaining incredibly complex, mind-bending concepts for my pea brain to handle it. They spend so much time trying to explain things, yet somehow they never succeeded for me. 

Ultimately, I’d probably give the show another chance. But if I do give another season a chance, it’ll be on probation. I wouldn’t watch the entire season unless I could see within four episodes that they’d definitely improved things.

Would I recommend that anyone watch the series as it currently stands? I mean... not really? I guess if you really dig complex math, hard theoretical science, and/or Toho’s stable of monsters, then maaaaaaaaaaybe give it a shot. But otherwise? Naaaahh. It’s not good enough at anything to make it stand out from the anime crowd. I didn’t hate it like I hated the Godzilla anime films, but Singular Point is still something that both casual viewers and most fans can comfortably ignore for the time being. It’s not a complete disaster, and it’s not without its highlights... but it’s definitely disappointing in my opinion.

OKAYOKAYOKAY, so let’s talk about the kaiju for a bit! 

Below will be SPOILERS revealing all of the kaiju that appear in Godzilla Singular Point and giving my feelings on them. 

Godzilla — It’s interesting to see a version of Godzilla that borrows some ideas from Shin Godzilla. Shin G has been incredibly unique until now, but this Godzilla manages to fold some of Shin’s distinctive aspects in with the more classic/typical versions to build a fun new depiction. Be forewarned that Godzilla doesn’t show up until the series is halfway over, and he doesn’t get a ton of screen time, either. He’s used quite sparingly and kept in hazy settings, often framed from the neck-up when they show him. It’s a little frustrating that they felt the need to shroud him so much, but I respect the fact that whenever Godzilla is shown, the destruction he causes is on a scale far beyond anything that the rest of the kaiju ever do. He is pure devastation. 

Rodan — He’s easily the biological kaiju with the most screen time in Singular Point. Rodan is first introduced as one gigantic pterosaur, but if you’ve seen ANY trailers for this show then you already know that his depiction transitions into an asston of smaller pterosaurs, all of whom are also called “Rodan.” (Apparently the word Rodan is both singular and plural, like the word “buffalo.”) Although he looks kind of cool at first, pretty soon Rodan showing up isn’t special or threatening anymore. Rodan appearances go from “a big goddamn deal” to “some bland background noise” before the series is even 1/3 finished. The design might be a little too far removed from the original for my own taste, but even if I didn’t think that, I wouldn’t be able to care for this Rodan simply because he’s rendered so unimportant and unimpressive.

If you go out in the woods today, you’re sure of a big surprise... 

Anguirus — Now check this guy out! Anguirus gets one of the coolest fights in the show and also demonstrates some powers that are well beyond anything we’ve seen him do before. Because he sticks to unpopulated areas, we never see him do much damage to Japan, but he is definitely holding all the attention when he’s on-screen. He’s a highlight for me — a total badass who is very unique in his abilities. And the stated origin for his name is goddamn adorable.

Manda — Yup, Manda is in this series... but I don’t have much to say for him. It seems like the creators of the anime didn’t have much to say about him either. His role amounts to little more than a repeated cameo, and in most of those cameos you only ever see his tail. When we finally see his full body, it’s done so briefly and kept at a distance, leaving me with no real impression. I had to look up his design online and... yup, that sure looks like Manda. Final score: MEEEEHH.

Kumonga — I definitely did not see this appearance coming! Kumonga is much smaller here than you may be used to, but she gets to star in the most suspenseful sequence in the series and easily earns the most exciting cliffhanger moment at the end of an episode. I was utterly glued to the show during her screen time, which comes with a lot of icky twists. Good ones! I honestly like Kumonga here more than I ever have previously.

NEW PHONE WHO DIS

Salunga — Uh, who? This is the one monster that isn’t based on a classic Toho kaiju but instead is a brand-new creation. I suppose that everybody who touches the Toho Kaiju franchise wants to make their own mark on it in some regard. But a big part of the fun of this series for me personally was the anticipation of seeing new interpretations and designs of classic Toho monsters. And so, given that he kind of resembles both Baragon and Gabara, I never stopped wishing they’d just used one of those guys as the basis and namesake. Taken on his own, however? He’s... pretty neat. Not unique or exciting, but solidly above par.  He resembles a cross between a lizard/dinosaur and an ape, plus his head has some nifty coloration. 

Our Jaguar!

Jet Jaguar — I guess Jet Jaguar isn’t exactly a kaiju in the traditional sense because he’s a Giant Robot. However, if you want to consider him one, then I wager he probably gets even more screen time than Rodan! We meet him almost immediately when the series begins. Initially an odd pilot-driven robot that was constructed at the whim of a quirky old factory-owner with too much disposable income, Jet Jaguar grows and changes over the course of the show, ultimately undergoing a transition in episode 7 that makes him pretty damn impossible to dislike. In fact, I utterly adored him by then. This is definitely the best Jet Jaguar I’ve ever seen. His design is recognizably similar to the original yet utterly distinct, too. Like many of the other kaiju here, he’s not nearly as big as he was when he was first introduced to the movies, but his size is ideal for battling the smaller-scale monsters that we spend most of the series on.

[asagimeta]

Batwoman: Don’t Believe All The Negativity

So Batwoman premiered tonight

It's about an out-and-proud lesbian, played by an out-and-proud lesbian, with several major cast members- INCLUDING the main love interest- being POC, and it's very gay, this is not your "Power Rangers- let me quietly hint at being gay for One Scene and never mention it again" type of representation, there's lots of kissing, "I love you"s, goofy initial carvings, and serious issues like homophobia in the military and lying about your sexuality to avoid persecution

This is Tumblr bait if I've ever seen it so imagine my surprise when I barely get a few scrolls into the tag and already see people hating on it for not being queer enough because Sophie is married to a man

Hahahha..... I'm pissed

Allow me to advise ya'll to sit down as I explain why this is the OPPOSITE of a problem

First of all I cannot believe that on TUMBLR of all websites I actually have to explain to people that being in a heterosexual relationship- even married- does not automatically cancel out your queer ship

Shows have been putting their charectors through divorces and widowing for decades and it isn't going to stop now, in fact, I'll be THOROUGHLY surprised if The Husband makes it to see the end of the season

But I digress

We'll come back to shipping later because right now I'm going to tackle the biggest problem I have with these "You guys are making her straight!!!!" posts I keep seeing: CLOSETING. DOES NOT. ERASE. QUEERNESS.

I cannot believe I actually have to say this at the home of ships like Destiel, Sterek, and whatever the fuck legion of ships that Voltron produced but being in a straight relationship does not make someone less queer, ESPECIALLY if the relationship is fake, and ESPECIALLY if they have been ALREADY CANONICALLY SHOWN TO BE QUEER

Look I ship Destiel and Sterek and Supercorp too but "closeting" is a THEORY for these ships- with Sophie, it's CANON, she was in a canonical relationship with another girl where she kissed her and said she loved her and planned a future with her and the only reason she's not still with that woman is because was threatened to be kicked out of the military for it, I cannot process how the home of "They're in a straight relationship because they're closeted" is actually trashing this

But even THAT'S irrelevant because I can already hear some of you screaming that you don't ship any of those things but listen to me: Closeted charectors are just as important as out-and-proud charectors are

We live in a world where people are STILL being murdered for their sexuality every single day, where kids are still being sent to conversion therapy, still being kicked out of their houses, still being forced to be in straight relationships out of fear for their LIVES if they aren't- and fear for their jobs, their families, and everything else

I bought my first pride flag yesterday and hung it up today and legitimately my first thought was "gee, I hope this doesn't attract any crazy Trump supporters who are going to light my house on fire" but I did it anyway because I have supportive parents and have NEVER made my sexuality a secret and anyone who talks to me for ten minutes is PROBABLY going to hear atleast 1 "lol I'm bi" joke and I haven't been threatened with bodily harm for it YET so I figure I'll atleast probably live through the night

Other people aren't that lucky

For as important as it is for out people to have our Kate Kanes, it's JUST as important for closeted people to have their Sophie Moores

Please don't take away from the fact that the CW is trying to give that to people just because it means The Ship isn't happening Right Here Right Now

Please don't try to take away Sophie's queer identity because of being closeted

This plot development gurantees us atleast a season of Sophie exploring her identity and circling back to the question of "Do I really value being a member of something that's going to hate me for who I am over the woman I love?", we're going to have a season of her exploring what her identity means to her and we're going to get a really great juxtaposition between one lesbian who's out and proud and telling the story of pining for a lost love and how to navigate Queer Problems being out, and another who's closeted and afraid and in love but doesn't think she can return and how to navigate Queer Problems being closeted

That's GREAT??????

Why are ya'll complaining??????????

That's not something that we get very often???????

Also by arranging Sophie's story this way the CW is trying to AVOID giving us the same problems we always complain about like tokenism and Burry Your Gays, let's be totally honest here, if Kate and Sophie started off in a happy relationship and stayed that way through the beginning of the show, then for Conflict Reasons something way worse was going to have to come along and ruin that- like, you know, probably death? Or cheating, or a petty fight, or Sophie being evil....

This gives us a really NUANCED reason for why there's a story of pining and trying to get back to eachother here

Much like Alex and Maggie in Supergirl, the writers were clearly trying to take care to give us what we needed from a plot standpoint WITHOUT shoving gross stereotypes and tropes down our throats or making one person out to be The Bad Guy in the relationship, because yes you can read Sophie that way, but I think anyone who's ever been closeted can probably sympathize with her about this, esepcially as we don't know the nature of her home life, yes she signed the Gay Lie Document so she could be in the military but we don't have any indication that that was her only reason for giving Kate up so easily

For all we know, going home with Kate may not have ever been an option to begin with

And it's really hard to blame someone for risking their life and the life of their partner for wanting to be Out, especially if they were raised to believe that queer = bad, but I'm getting off topic

Instead of doing what alot of superhero stories do and fridging Sophie- making Kate's reason for doning the cowl to be revenge for her dead lover, they gave us somethin much tamer, something that will last all season but without lowering the number of main queer charectors on the show, they used the same trope that The Straights always use about becoming a superhero For Love but they did us one better because The Girlfreind isn't dead like she would have been in.... SOME.... stories....

But I promised to get back to shipping and here we go-

Aside from the fact that they're priming The Husband to get killed off early on just by virtue of existing (an unimportant charector who will greatly emotionally impact the love interest and create an opportunity for her to pursue the main protagonist, possibly even becoming a hero or a vigilante in her own right for revenge) there's also the fact that Sophie is hardly Kate's only chance at a relationship

If I'm not mistaken, they've already cast Renee` Montoya, and Maggie Sawyer already has an established charector in the Arrowverse too, so if the actress ever wanted to dip her toes back into the superhero waters, she could appear for a bit of time as well- wich would also be prime subplot territory for the next crossover, considering her history with Alex Danvers on Supergirl

So even IF they damned poor Sophie to Straight Hell for the rest of eternity- and I HIGHLY doubt that- do you really think that a show on the CW that opened with a love story is just going to let it's lead go without a love story for the foreseeable future...?

They're giving us a queer-lead show, wich means that it's going to be open to the same "UGH" romance moments that every other show on TV has, they're probably not going to give us an easy ride just because this one is gay like we get out of the background relationships in other shows where the leads are straight and I honestly appreciate that

Sure, I'd love if Kate got the Yuri On Ice treatment where she was able to maintain a steady romance through the entire show with only very short-lived, very easy-to-resolve conflicts ever denting it- I'd love that for alot of shows actually, imagine all of the plot that could get done if the relationships weren't being killed off or broken up every five minutes- but I appreciate as a queer person that she's probably going to get a gallery of love interests just like every STRAIGHT protagonist gets and I'm happy for her, in that respect

But my point in all of this is just that... guys... we finally have it

We have a show lead by a queer actor playing a queer charector who isn't going to get straight-washed or muted down the line because issues of homophobia and her sexuality are coming up in the very first episode.... and ya'll are complaining because her love interest is in the closet and married to a dude to stay that way as if that ever stopped any ship on any show ever??? Really?

TL;DR: Batwoman is great and if she and Sophie WERE in a happy and stable relationship ya'll would just complain about the show being "boring" and not actually working to examine queer relationships so I guess there really is no winning with the people on this website

[razberryyum]

The Untamed and The Living Dead movie Thoughts

SPOILERS AHEAD!

If you haven’t watched the movie, it’s best not to proceed cuz you will be spoiled.  

OR, if you have already watched the movie and love it completely, AND you stan Yu Bin and will not put up with any criticism about his performance, it’s also best not to proceed cuz you’ll most likely be annoyed/upset with me. Let’s just agree to disagree right now and move on with our separate happy lives.  

Overall Rating for The Living Dead: 3 Lil Apples out of 10

Yeah, I know that’s pretty harsh…I waffled between 3, 4 and 5, but I had to settle on a 3 in the end because I don’t think I’ll ever rewatch this movie and there were just so many problems I had with it, that I realized I can’t say I liked the movie much at all.  

Before I go on, let me first address the big white elephant in the room: no, WangXian does NOT cameo in The Living Dead nor are they even mentioned in any capacity that would assure us they are still together and happy in the movie’s timeline. At one point Wen Ning does mention them in the same sentence, but only in relationship to himself (that they saved him) and the past. For those of us desperate for confirmation of WangXian happily ever afterness in the world of CQL (“us” meaning me only most likely), we get no assurance whatsover. This is especially disappointing since the movie apparently take place years later after the events of The Untamed so it’s really sad that we have no idea if they are together. Of course in the world of the novel, we know they are absolutely together, happily married, everydaying everyday, but it would’ve been nice if we were given some tiny morsel of comfort for WangXian of The Untamed.  

Not only does Lan Zhan not make an appearance, he’s only mentioned by Wen Ning once, as I indicated above. As for Wei Ying, he’s mentioned a few times and he kiiiiinda makes a cameo…but honestly, I wish they didn’t even attempt that cameo cuz it was so bad. It’s basically the backview of some extra dressed as Wei Ying and dubbed over by someone else that’s not Lu Zhixing-laoshi. Or if it is, the dub was so bad that it didn’t even sound like him anymore.

That’s actually one of my main problems with the movie: the dubbing or sound mixing just sucked. Every time there was dialogue it sounded very obviously that it was on a different track. I didn’t even feel like the characters were saying the words because their voices sounded detached from them. Whereas in The Untamed, I sometimes would completely forget that with the exception of Nie Huaisang, everyone’s line reads were performed by voice actor because the voices were blended so well within the scenes. I don’t know the technical terms of all this dubbing stuff so hopefully I’m making some sense.

Another big problem was the CGI. Holy crap was it bad. It was so bad at no point was I able to immerse myself into the action scenes…I didn’t feel anyone was in danger because they were being attacked by a bunch of obvious and bad CGI. One of the worse scenes that they showed THREE times was when the sister (Xiao Qing) being burned up in CGI flames. First of all her acting was horrendous (why was she covering her ears while she’s being burned alive??) and then the fake fire just made me groan out loud. I didn’t even want to look it was so embarrassingly bad.  

I’m trying to figure out when they shot this movie…in order for them to be able to release the movie so soon after the show, the filming had to overlap with The Untamed’s filming, right? So I guess budget was still tight, probably even tighter than the main show, since CQL probably didn’t start actually seeing the money it made from ads, etc until towards the end. Either way, it feels like they didn’t put much money into this movie, especially not the effects. And if I’m going to be honest, I think they probably just had their second…nay…probably third unit direct it. Or at least, they had their third unit decide on some of the casting cuz some of the performances were…OOF. One thing I really appreciated about The Untamed is that even with most of the background actors, there was hardly a glaringly bad performance. I’ve said before the worse really was the actor who played Wen Ruohan, which is a shame cuz he’s more than an extra, but overall all the performances by the supporting characters ranged from decent to strong with hardly a weak link. Here, in this movie, I would say most of the performances from the new cast members were very mediocre. In fact, the only truly consistently good performances from beginning to end was Zheng Fanxing (Sizhui) and that cute little girl in the beginning:

I was kind of sad when she got killed off cuz she was adorable and definitely a MUCH better actor that the dude who played her older brother…at no point was I remotely convinced he was scared so on the other hand I was happy he died. But I thought she was going to burn to death or something because it didn’t seem like a good idea to have her hide in a wooden cupboard with a lite stove…that was so stupid and weird. Btw, what the hell was with that cat screeching sound effect?? Sounded like someone was throwing a cat, but like WHY?  

As for the three new players introduced for this movie—Gao Han as Xiao Yi, Wang Yifei as Xiao Qing and He Longlong as Zhou Zishu—I’ve never seen their work before, and nothing about their performances in this movie makes me interested in what they will do in the future. To be fair, Gao Han tried…you can totally tell he was trying REALLY hard in some of his scenes, but for the most part, he either overacted or strangely enough, underacted. He was just really inconsistent. I know Zhou Zishu was supposed to be a red herring so the fact that he started out looking sketchy AF was supposed to be a ruse since our narrator was entirely untrustworthy, but even in the context of that false narration, he was really bad. As for the sister played by Wang Yifei…just look at her performance as she’s being burned up again.  

By the way, I’m gonna say this now: if Wei Ying and Lan Zhan don’t even get to share a fucking real hug between them throughout the entirety of The Untamed, then I don’t think some generally unimportant-in-the-greater-scheme-of-things couple should be allowed to freaking KISS in anything related to the world of CQL.

I understand it’s all about the censorship, etc etc, but if any hetero couple deserved to share an onscreen kiss, it would’ve been Shijie and Jin Zixuan, and since even they were deprived of that, then these two nobodies should not have been granted this privilege. Seriously, fuck whoever decided to stick that moment in the movie. That’s just fucking unfair and really annoyed me. There better not be any more of that kind of nonsense in the Nie brothers‘ movie.  

The last I’ll say about performances is that sadly, I felt as if there was something off about Yu Bin’s. I totally understand that this is a different Wen Ning than the one we saw in the show—he’s older, more mature, since God knows how many years have passed already—so I don’t mind that he’s more serious. But at the same time, he was just so uneven that I couldn’t get behind his performance at all. He was always one key off, if that makes any sense, so it almost felt like someone else was playing Wen Ning entirely, someone who is completely unfamiliar with that character. And his work in the…whatever fuck that place was…Yin Metal purgatory?? (and for those who are familiar with Guardian, that place was giving me bad flashbacks to Dixing)…was kind of cringey overall.  

I wanted to love seeing Wen Ning be a badass wise uncle, so I actually feel really sad that I couldn’t enjoy his performance in general. However, what I absolutely did enjoy was seeing uncle and nephew bonding and working together…  

…just wish those moments weren’t marred by all that bad CGI.  

Wen Ning’s new look gave me pause though: not that I didn’t appreciate the whole metal look, but I kind of couldn’t figure out why Wen Ning added the chains back to his ensemble when he got rid of them back in The Untamed already.

I mean, if the black veins on his neck don’t attract attention, walking around wearing heavy, clangy chains sure would probably alarm people as well, I think.  

Last thing on Wen Ning: again, not that I didn’t appreciate his newfound ability to hulk out, but yikes, that whole effect was ruined by yet again bad CGI AND a really goofy score. Sounded like something they “borrowed” from Naruto.

Except for that one piece of music, I did like the score for the rest of the movie, especially in the opening credits since it definitely evoked a sense of creepiness. The images in the credits were good too. I can easily imagine that being the OP creds to a horror anthology.  

As for the story, I was fine with it. I liked that they related the family to Nightless City because apparently they are the ones who helped make Nightless City nightless? Here I thought it was the surrounding lava but I guess there were lanterns lighting the place up that I just somehow missed completely.  I liked the plot twist with Xiao Yi and his “sister”…although I did guess there was some incesty thing going on in the beginning…just didn’t think I would be right and wrong at the same time. I thought they would relate their relationship back to Wen Ning and Wen Qing somehow, considering the sisters shared the same name…this was before the “incest” part was confirmed of course…but they never really did so having Wen Qing share the same name as Xiao Qing felt like an oddity in the end. It’s also odd how they used the same phonetically sounding last name of “Xiao” since of course I immediately thought of Xiao Zhan (different characters). Like, couldn’t they come up with completely different names? Overall, the plot wasn’t bad, as mysteries go, at first I couldn’t figure out why the Yin Metal all of a sudden had all these new powers and why the metal wielder, Zhou Zishu, would become a ghost puppet himself, but with the plot twist, all of that was explained so I was fine with it. The last shot of “Xiao Yi” in the Yin Metal purgatory made me guffaw; yeah, that didn’t look suggestive AT ALL. 

The Living Dead actually makes me look forward even more to the next movie, The Fatal Journey. I’m hoping that since it’s potentially about the Nie brother’s past and Jin Guangyao, that perhaps there will be less need for CGI as it will focus more on just dialogue and story-telling. Not to mention, again, apologies to Yu Bin fans, but those three actors are generally stronger performers, so with them at the helm, I’m expecting/hoping for greater things.    

Since I’ve been mostly negative, I wanted to leave on at least one positive note: Sizhui is still an adorable puppy. His dads, wherever they are, whatever they’re doing during the movie, must be so proud of him. 

[kotofvi]

THE MEGA RP PLOTTING SHEET / MEME.

First and foremost, recall that no one is perfect, we all have witnessed some plotting once which did not went too well, be it because of us or our partner. So here have this, which may help for future plotting. It’s a lot! Yes, but perhaps give your partners some insight? Anyway BOLD what fully applies, italicize if only somewhat.

Mun Name: Leo      Age: 27       Contact: IM, Inbox, Disco

Character(s) I rp: Canon: Shiro, Sebastian, Dirk, Kyoya, Kurama, Nelliel, Maka, Dwicky. OCs: Hades, Google, Emogene, Dominic, Seirios, Iso, Felix, Reeves, Nyx, Zeru, Ren, Charlie, Dakota, Nemo, Bluejay, Koko, BD, Raven, Cora, Sammie, Lucie, Poppie, Ollie, Alphie, Bambi, Abbigail, Hiraeth, Bonnie, Rei, Rory.   Which muse(s) inspires you the most atm?(for MM): Nelliel, Shiro, Rei, Bonnie, Hiraeth.  Current Fandom(s): Bleach, V/LD, Naruto. (I’m not deeply involved in the fandoms themselves anymore.) Fandom(s) you have an AU for:  Uhhhhh.. I basically have an AU for any fandom if I know it well and am asked for it.  My language(s): English. (I’m learning other languages but I don’t RP in them unless it’s just a sentence or two.)  Themes I’m interested in for rp:   Fantasy / Science fiction / Horror / Western / Romance / Thriller / Mystery / Dystopia / Adventure / Modern / Erotic / Crime / Mythology / Classic / History / Renaissance / Medieval / Ancient / War / Family / Politics / Religion / School / Adulthood / Childhood / Apocalyptic / Gods / Sport / Music / Science / Fights / Angst / Smut / Drama / etc. Themes/Genres you have an AU for: Modern, Mythology, Medieval. 

Preferred Thread length: one-liner / 1 para / 2 para / 3+ / novella. (I legit love all lengths, tbh, it’s more so with one-liners I tend to lose interest if there’s no substance to further it.)  Asks can be send by: Mutuals / Non-Mutuals / Personals / Anons. Can Asks be continued?:   YES / NO   only by Mutuals?:  YES / NO. Preferred thread type: crack / casual nothing too deep / serious / deep as heck. Is realism / research important for you in certain themes?:   YES / NO. Are you atm open for new plots?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS.  (I’ve admittedly been v busy, so if you’re fine with me takin’ forever-- YES) Do you handle your draft / ask - count well?:  YES / NO / SOMEWHAT.  How long do you usually take to reply?:  24h / 1 week / 2 weeks / 3+ / months / years. I’m okay with interacting: original characters / a relative of my character (an oc) (It really depends here.) / duplicates / my fandom / crossovers / multi-muses / self-inserts / people with no AU verse for my fandom / canon-divergent portrayals / au-versions (as main or only verse). Do you post more ic or occ?:  IC / OOC.(I post more IC, but the gaps between IC and OOC make it seem like there’s more OOC at times???) Are you selective with following others?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS.  (This is entirely because half the fandoms some of my muses come from are absolute shit so I have to be careful.) 

Best ways to approach you for rp/plotting:  IM or Inbox-- tbh, Just kick my inbox in and screech that you wanna plot/rp with me so long as you’re a mutual. I’m honestly so laid back?? Sure, it might take me a minute but this is entirely because IRL things and not because I’m putting anyone off. 

What expectations do you hold towards your plotting partner:  Having fun? Having ideas? I guess, just, mutual interest? I mean, I’m here to write! I’m here to have fun! If you’re not interested in that much alone then?? I guess bye?? ‘Cause I’ll become very annoying to anyone who doesn’t have an interest purely because I’ll randomly ambush my partners with excitement and ideas. 

When you notice the plotting is rather one-sided, what do you do?:  Oh I’ll just straight up ask if they want to continue the thread or start a new one! I mean, I get it, you can lose interest or otherwise just not feel it anymore and that’s fine! If you’re not interested in that particular thread, then no worries, we can always start more! If you’re just being one-sided in general, however?? I’m not gonna be interested at all and I’ll likely tell you as such. 

How do you usually plot with others, do you give input or leave most work towards your partner?:  Normally it’ll just happen? I’ll do my “Hey what if they ___” thing and then a rapid bombardment of inquiries and excitement later, there is a thread. It’s usually mutual, the involvement of creating this plot, but sometimes it’s just me being excited and them being excited and then suddenly BAM THERE BE THREADS. S’all good over here! 

When a partner drops the thread, do you wish to know?:   YES / NO / DEPENDS. - And why?: I mean?? I’d like to know, yes! But I get that sometimes it’s incredibly anxiety ridden trying to tell someone that you’ve lost interest in a thread. It’s alright if you don’t tell me, but if you can muster up the courage to do so I’d appreciate it! I’m not gonna be upset at you for losing interest/muse in a thread! If I cared deeply about the story, I might poke at you and then you can tell me?? Either way it’s fine and tbh, I don’t mind. However, please let it be known that you can take forever on a reply as well so don’t worry about just hoarding a draft too! Tbh, I had someone reply to a thread literally a year later and I was still excited for it!  - What should your partner do when dropping a thread?:  Just shoot me an IM or hell, make a list of threads you’re dropping and tag me in it??? Which ever! Or don’t even tell me at all, whatever works for you sugar! 

What could possibly lead you to drop a thread?:  Hmn, being overwhelmed-- I tend to accumulate a lot of drafts and 90% of them are long so sometimes I’ll drop a thread or two to help myself get by. Also lack of muse/interest is a factor. I won’t drop a thread purely out of being overwhelmed unless I just can’t muster up the muse to respond to it.  - Will you tell your partner?:   YES / NO / DEPENDS. Sometimes I get overwhelmed myself and I’ll drop a thread, forget to tell my partner, etc. Other times I’ll tell them before I even delete the draft! 

Is communication in the rpc important to you?   YES / NO. - And why?:  Yes and no~ Yes primarily! I get that others can take a minute to muster up the courage to talk to others and would just prefer to keep things to a few sentences at first! However, I can and will ambush you with conversation and interest nonetheless. Because communication is important. If you’ve got something you wanna say to me, say it! I’m here for it!  - Are you okay with absolute honesty, even if it may means hearing something negative about you and/or portrayal?:  Yup! If you’ve got an issue or something that might come across as criticism to say, say it! Civil discussion is absolutely wanted here and I would like to work out any issues you may have with me or my portrayal.  - Do you think you can handle such situation in a mature way?  YES / NO.

Why do you rp again, is there a goal?:  To write and have fun! To explore in depth the characters I create or take on! I mean, c’mon, lbr here-- my gremlin ass muses require some more in depth speculation and investigation into their characters! I love the creativity, the world building, the constant drive to do better and to make others feel something from words alone. The capability to rend emotion from another living being simply from reading and reacting to something I created is amazing and I want to make others cry, laugh, smile and think. I want to create. 

Wishlist, be it plots or scenarios:  Oh man, there’s an endless supply of things I’d like to do! I want to explore the depths of my muses’ histories more?? Like Shiro, I want to write out the things he must’ve seen, felt, experienced. How Nelliel was when she was alive, how Shiro fared in the Arena when he wasn’t fighting, Seb’s life torn between the various throws of data and reality-- there’s so much! And ALL THE AU’s!!!! All of them!!!  

Themes I won’t ever rp / explore: Sure, I work with a lot of darker themes like torture, gore, etc-- but I will not write Rape, sexual abuse, nor will I write child loss.  

What Type of Starters do you prefer / dislike, can’t work with?: I can work with most starters! However, if I’m randomly given a starter that I can’t work with for the muse selected, I’ll inform the person who wrote it! I appreciate the effort given but don’t expect me to be able to reply to every random starter given! Sometimes, they don’t even show up in my tag. 

What type of characters catch your interest the most?:  Okay, I’m a sucker for the underdogs, aggressive folks and the villains. I’m not even going to try and lie and say I don’t immediately look at the Aizens and Kenpachis and go ah yes, those fucking gremlins, give me ten. I also love the background characters? The side characters in a show that seem so unimportant but have a crucial role? I love characters that have such an obscure involvement that you have to stop and ask why and how their involvement was crucial. I also love the soft beans? The ones who are so hyped with positivity and gleaming interest that they just can’t be ignored?? But then turn around and whoop some poor sap’s ass with that sparkle sparkle smile. Also love the upstanding moral types that also acknowledge that some things can’t be avoided and that morality is a grey area dependent on the perceptions of the individuals themselves. 

What type of characters catch your interest the least?:  Hmn-- I guess the kind that don’t seem to have much substance to them? The ones that are just uncharacteristically too kind. Yes, I love the overwhelmingly positive types but?? Also?? The ones that are too kind and without flaw just?? Don’t strike me as interesting. Also the ones that are just cruel for some obscure reason just to give them a reason to be villains. I mean I understand but also?? Villains don’t have to have a reason?? They can be cruel just to be cruel. Idk that’s always just been a thing with me.

What are your strong aspects as rp partner?:  I guess that I’m fairly laid back? I don’t mind if you take 10 years to reply, I’m going to get excited if you message me with some random idea, I’m not going to be bothered by any ideas you suggest?? I can also sometimes give u doodles?? I don’t have time to doodle a lot but sometimes, once in a blue moon, you’ll get a random offering of doodled booty for ur blessing. Also gonna hit you up with random HCs, ideas, threads, etc?? Always?? Idk, I’m not too good at thinking about positive aspects of myself lmfao. 

What are your weak aspects as rp partner?: Hnnn, I’m too laid back at times. I take too long to reply and I’m busy af IRL. I’m often goaded into being irritated by some asshole or another so I can come off aggro af too when I don’t mean to be. Sometimes I can get overwhelmed and disappear for a week, other times I can end up overwhelming someone else by being too excited? I tend to watch how much I do and say because I feel like I might come off as smothering and am too used to being shut down and told to shut up so I just don’t?? Do anything sometimes. I’m also not very good at initiating contact sometimes so I tend to go days and weeks without speaking to others. 

Do you rp smut?:  YES / NO. Do you prefer to go into detail?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS. Are you okay with black curtain?:  YES / NO. - When do you rp smut? More out of fun or character development?:  Usually only if it’s developmental for the characters involved. Sometimes it’s just fun to do! It really depends on the characters involved + if I have any muse in general for it.  - Anything you would not want to rp there?:  ???? Kinda vague, Idk? I mean if I don’t wanna rp somethin’ I’ll say so. 

Are ships important to you?:   YES / NO. Would you say your blog is ship-focused?:   YES / NO. Do you use read more?:  YES / NO / SOMETIMES. Are you: Multi-Ship / Single-Ship / Dual-Ship  —  Multiverse / Singleverse. - What do you love to explore the most in your ships?:  The relationship, the depth of two muses who can be wildly different or even similar. The multifaceted involvement of others to that relationship, the angst, the arguments, the sad moments along with all the happy things and how hard one might try while the other is cold-- etc. I don’t just want happy dates and sunshine, that’s not how relationships work after all!   - What is your smut tag?: Kettledrums

Are you okay with pre-established relationships?: YES / NO. - And what kind of ones?: I like a lot of pre-established relationships! However, I can be a tad wary of child muses? Aka: The ones who are children of one of my muses. Reason being, sometimes even I don��t know how they’d raise a child so the muse in question would be off putting to me because it’s out of my realm. Beyond that, I’m down for just about everything! 

► SECTION ABOUT YOUR MUSE.

- What could possibly make your Muse interesting towards others, why should they rp with this particular character of yours now, what possible plots do they offer?:  Since I have so many damn muses, I’mma just go with Shiro for all of this-- I suppose what they could find interesting is his very multifaceted dynamic as a soldier, human, technical non-human (Zombae), war worn, space exploring person. He can be rainbows and sunshine but also can suddenly become incredibly aggressive and cold. He’s not one or the other, he’s all and everything that he’s learned and encompassed while still remaining fragile and human in the end. Writing with him can be inspiring and can be soul wrenching, depending on the thread. As for plots, dude your character could be in space in one thread if the otherwise couldn’t be. There’s so many ways to go about writing with him?? He’s such an amazing character and the plots he can be instilled in are almost limitless with just his main verse. 

- With what type of Muses do you usually struggle to rp with?:   Hmn-- I guess the main one I have issues injecting him into place with would be the ones who are strictly non-tech oriented?? I mean, I can still have him there but getting him to fit is just?? Really difficult. Also with people who RP villains of his fandom and expect him not to be volatile. I’m sorry, but if you’re writing a S.endak or a Z.arkon-- you’re not going to get roses and butterflies with Shiro, plain and simple. If that’s something you can’t accept then don’t approach him with those muses.  - With what type of Muses do they usually work well with?:  He works really well with most anyone! So long as one goes into it knowing he can be hostile with soldiers, Galra, etc; then he can be used no matter what. He’s one of my most capable muses that doesn’t have much of an issue when it comes to responding. 

- What interests your Muse(s) in general:  Space, mechanics, biomedical engineering, people, freedom, fighting for a cause, flowers, his mother, violin, cats, sparring, getting stronger, constellations, nebulae, engineering, literature, alien languages, cooking. - What do they desire, is their goal?:  The safety of others, the freedom of others, the ability to choose, hope-- he wants to make sure those he cares for and all others are free and safe from the Galra take over.  - What catches their interest first when meeting someone new?:  How they look at him. If they show signs of pity, of fear, he tends to walk away from any possible meeting with them. Otherwise, their appearance is what first catches his eye. How they dress, how they respond to him, how they talk and if he can make them crack a smile with an awkward joke.  - What do they value in a person?:  Hope, Strength, Loyalty, Purpose, Honesty, Patience. - What themes do they like talking about?:  Shiro’s more of a listener than a talker, but honestly he’ll talk about anything of interest and question anyone’s as well to get them to talk about it. It’s what makes conversation with him easygoing most of the time.  - Which themes bore them?:  Himself. He’ll try to avert any conversation about himself if it’s too personal or too close to something. It’s not so much that it bores him but that type of talk is reserved for those insanely close to him. Also talk of command bores the FUCK out of him. He’s never been one to really like rank. 

- Did they ever went through something traumatic?:  So. Fucking. Much. Between being a prisoner of a war he was never involved with to being told he was a leader of a rebellion for said war, being a prisoner in the Arena and forced to fight and kill others, being held down and sedated as he tried to warn the others, DYING-- this boy has been thru too much.  - What could possibly trigger them?:  Certain noises, textures, Galra, medical equipment, certain lighting.  - What could set them off, enrage them?:  Galra, someone protecting him. - What could lead to an instant kill?:  Any bloodlust towards him or those he cares for. Most of the time, he has this under control and tries to be merciful, give them a chance; but sometimes, especially during an episode; there’s no stopping him from gunning for someone’s throat if they had any intent to harm another or himself. 

- Is there someone /-thing they hate?:  Z.arkon, S.endak, L.otor, H.aggar, Druids, himself a lot of the time. - Is there someone /-thing they love?:   The paladins, space fam in general, his mother, his friends, people in general. 

Is your Muse easy to approach?: YES / NO. - Best ways to approach them?:  Just approach him? Honestly, Shiro’s one of the easiest persons to converse with and get near. That doesn’t mean his guard is dropped, but he’s very easy going a lot of the time outside of battle. So long as you have a reason to approach him (even simpler ones like: his appearance, his arm, etc) then you’re set.  - Where are they usually to find?:  Oof, honestly? Anywhere. Space, Earth, other places-- he’s constantly on the move. If you want a set place, just say somewhere on Earth and I can work with that. 

Something you may still want to point out about your muse?:  Shiro is certainly easy to get along with, but he is not without flaw or issue. He has a plethora of issues even after the fall of the Galra Empire. He’s not without his scars, physical and otherwise. Approaching him is easy but getting close to him is not. Don’t expect him to be an open book. Just because he can talk about war, battle, fighting with a straight face doesn’t mean he wasn’t effected by it. He has suffered greatly and it will show the closer you get to him. 

CONGRATS!!! You managed it, now tag your mutuals! ♥

Tagged by: @skyvar​  [ <3 ] Tagging: IF YOU WANNA PARTAKE IN THIS INSANITY, PLEASE DO AND TAG ME IN IT SO I CAN READ IT!!! 

[weirdhistorywritings]

The Battle of Kleidion (or How to Not Quite Kill a Ton of People)

On today’s episode of weird history writings, 

Basil II, more commonly known as Basil the Bulgar Slayer. 

Depending on who you ask about Basil you’ll get two very different answers. To ancient Byzantines and even some modern day residents of that region, Basil was basically a saint who could do no wrong. To descendants of the Bulgars, he’s a dick who needs to gtfo.

Quick Background on Basil: 

When he was born, Basil’s father, Emperor Romanos the Second, appointed him co-emperor. This was just a fluffy title to make sure he got the gig when Dad died, and it’s a title Romanos gave his other son too so don’t think Basil was too special in that regard.

Anyway, Romanos dies when Basil is super young, and word on the street (literally, it was like the tabloid gossip of the day) was that his wife did it. Honestly, she probably didn’t, but everyone already hated her for being a commoner so they jumped on that train real quick.

Anyway, Basil’s technically Emperor now, and his mom is technically regent. But he’s so young and his mom doesn’t know much about ruling, so all the power went to other leaders who all hated each other and were bickering over who got to do what and who killed who and blah blah blah. They’re unimportant. 

Basil finally puts on his big boy pants, and he actually ends up on the throne for several decades.

Quick background on the Conflict with Bulgaria: 

It was over land and power, because let’s face it everything is. 

Bulgaria set up shop in some Byzantine land a couple hundred years prior, and they’d been fighting each other over it ever since.

Bulgaria had actually been a powerhouse a few generations before Basil’s reign, but they’d been under new management for a while. It wasn’t looking good. 

They were being attacked from the north. One of their emperors caved to Byzantium and gave up the entire eastern half of the country. Basically, shit had hit the fan, and they were all sitting around wiping crap off the walls trying to get that shit together and in a bag. 

Unfortunately for them, Basil’s young with something to prove and he likes killing things (or almost killing them as you’ll see). 

War with Bulgaria: 

Pretty much the first thing Basil does when his ass hits the throne is say, “Let’s go slay some Bulgars.” But as Hannah Montana says, “Nobody’s Perfect,” and Basil isn’t either. He attacked, got owned, lost a bunch of men, and was a super sore loser about it.

While Basil was distracted, presumably being butt hurt and putting down other uprisings, the Bulgars were like, “Hey, he’s not looking, let’s steal second base.” So they did, and they took back a bunch of the land they lost. 

And then, once Basil beats everyone else, like all of us, he dwells on that first defeat in the 2nd Grade Spelling Bee to Mitchell McDonald, and he vows his revenge (presumably). 

Basil and the Bulgars, led by this guy named Samuel but we’re gonna call him Sam just because, basically go back and forth over the years. 

Basil wins a battle here. Samuel attacks over there. Basil pillages a town. Samuel burns Basil’s collection of beanie babies. 

Back and forth. Back and forth. Throwing metaphorical punches that literally involve killing tons of civilians.

Sam is, however, slowly losing. It’s just math. He’s smaller and has less men. Every time he loses a guy, it hurts a lot more than every time Basil does. 

The Battle of Kleidion: 

Unfortunately, Sam failed geography class because he forgot that a whole empire was bigger than Bulgaria. 

Sam decides to fight Basil outright. He rallies the troops, does some nice strategizing, presumably doodles lots of x’s and o’s on a white board.

And they actually put up a really good fight. All credit to Sam. He failed geography but that man aced P.E. They beat Basil back, and it was pretty impressive.

Sadly for Sam, Basil did not fail geography class. He sent some troops around a mountain, and now Sam’s being attacked on both sides.

Sadly for Sam’s troops, Sam was not a captain because that boy did not go down with the ship. He jumped out of the boat and saved his own ass, leaving them all to be taken prisoner or die. 

There’s some smaller fights, but for all intents and purposes this was the last great stand of the Bulgars. 

The “Incident”: 

What really makes this story worthy of discussion is the aftermath.

Basil’s left with tons of prisoners, and by tons I mean 8,000-15,000 and what do you normally do with tons of prisoners in 1000 AD? Well, normally you kill them all, steal their wallets and go home.

Not Basil, Basil lines the men up in lines of 100 like it’s grade school. And you quite literally poke their eyes out. 

Basil started at the back and poked out both eyes of 99 men in a row, and when he got to the guy at the front of the line he only poked out one of his eyes. He did that 80 to 150 times in a row for every single line of men until he had thousands of blind men and only a few dozen that could see out of one eye.

Then, like a sadistic DJ, he made them all line up and do a conga line home.

I’m not kidding. The reason he didn’t completely blind the first guy in each line was because he made that guy lead all of the others home. 

I’m sure part of it was that Basil was petty about losing that first fight decades ago. I’m sure part of it was a warning to never do anything like that again. I’m sure part of it was punishment for their crimes. Also, imagine the psychological toll this took on anyone else who was considering joining. It’s one thing to hear that a soldier died. It’s any entire nother thing to see an entire army come back blind.

But also, consider this.

Normally they’d all be dead (or sent home. Some people were nice I guess). Normally, a country would have to deal with the loss of those men emotionally and physically. Yes, there would be a few people coming back with some form of disability, but without modern hospitals you usually came back either dead or alive in those days. 

But here, they don’t have to deal with their loss. They have to deal with their care. They aren’t without those men. Quite the opposite. Basil’s just dropped thousands of people into a medieval country who’s only skill is no longer of any use to them and who now are jobless and need to be taken care of. 

Much as they despise Byzantium, and believe me they do, how are they to scrounge together an army when they need all hands on deck helping at home. 

And that is why he’s called Basil the Bulgar Slayer. 

Here are some credible sources that are far more official and far more polished than me. Because finding credible sources can be hard, and as much as I like dramatizing amusing history, it’s mostly a ploy to get you to look into these things yourself.

For Further Reading Online:

https://www.britannica.com/biography/Basil-II

https://erenow.net/postclassical/byzantium-the-surprising-life-of-a-medieval-empire/21.php

https://smerdaleos.files.wordpress.com/2013/12/paul-stephenson-the-legend-of-basil-the-bulgar-slayer.pdf

For Further Reading in Books:

https://www.thriftbooks.com/w/in-the-heroic-age-of-basil-ii-emperor-of-byzantium_penelope-delta/542531/#isbn=1931807523&idiq=12472061

https://www.thriftbooks.com/w/lost-to-the-west-the-forgotten-byzantine-empire-that-rescued-western-civilization_lars-brownworth/344493/#isbn=0307407969&idiq=3775765

[pxiao]

Reasons I’m glad V///R is dead and gone forever

So V//R is dead and cancelled and my only reaction is FINALLY. Since VR is gone and we can finish forgetting the forgettable show and get rid of all our salt. You’re free to add to the post but there are rules. 

1. DO NOT TAG IT SO THE FANS CAN SEE. As much as I hate the show and the fandom even they don’t deserve to see people bashing the show in their tag. 

2. Don’t write the name of the show or the characters. Use /// or ---- in the character’s name like Yu///saku so the tumblr search can’t pull them up

ok good? Good. 

Everyone but Yu///saku is worthless. 

Seriously when have any of the characters actually progressed the story? Potentially only SB have done anything truly worthwhile. Everyone else was just to die to build tension for Yu//saku. And if you’re asking for RE///volver. OHHH I have a section just for him, don’t you worry.

Sto//rm Acc/ess aka Yu//saku is such a shitty duelist that the MINORITY of his duels has him not cheating. 

SERIOUSLY it’s written that Yu//saku can get a random extra deck monster with his skill BUT the issue is despite it being “random” Yu//saku ALWAYS gets the monster he needs to win. NOT ONCE IN THE 100+ EPISODE HAS HE GOTTEN A USELESS CARD. ALWAYS THE ONE HE NEEDS. Totally doesn’t seem like plot armor. And you know it wouldn’t be as big of an issue IF HE DIDN’T USE IT FOR EVERY SPE///ED DUEL!!!!!!!! For a character that the show likes to say is “invincible” he sure isn’t good enough to win with the deck he built. It got ridiculous with his duel with G/oo in season 2 where G//o countered his skill BUT A//i revealed it had a secondary effect that let him draw a card AND still get a new extra deck monster. 

Plot twists: 

They fall into two camps, “we already knew you dumbasses” or “THE HELL WERE YOU GUYS SMOKING!” Essentially the twists are obvious like A///i was based off of Yu//saku’s data as why wouldn’t he be. Or the dumb ones like Spec///tre beating A///oi or somehow Spec//tre had CONSCIOUS TREE AS A MOTHER. There have been a few twists that I can count that surprised me but they lead to other twists that fall back into stupid.  

the “Plot” just plain doesn’t exist.

 It’s just things happening with some connecting plot lines BUT they rarely lead into each other. Light///ning revealed that his plan was happening THE EXACT SAME TIME as season 1′s finale. A//i being the villain is more due to Light//ning’s simulation somehow proving that A///i will destroy humanity than the fact that A/i’s the only Ig//nis left. And each season’s arc has no connecting plot either. Season 1 can be broken down to Yu//saku gets A//i which has him meet the “main cast” and then Yu///saku go to S//OL for info that was TOTALLY pointless. Which is isolated from Re//volver setting a virus that traps you on the internet which leads to Re//volver learning Yusa//ku’s face AND MEETING HIM but does jack shit with that info. And then Re///volver’s final plan happens that was based on timing than anything else. 

Does that seem disjointed? YEP because there is no narrative at all, things are just happening. There is a vague connection at best but none of the characters’ actions actually affect how the story goes. THE FRUSTRATING PART IS THEY SET UP MOMENTS WHERE THEY COULD HAVE BUT THEY DIDN’T. SEASON 2 AND 3 IS THE SAME THINGS JUST HAPPEN AND THEN YU//SAKU HAS TO SAVE THE FUCKING DAY. V/R has no rhyme or reason why things happen, they just do and let me tell you, that’s fucking boring.

The Yu//saku praise

 My fucking god. Look the protagonist getting praised isn’t new, it happens with each series BUT the issue is the volume that Yu//saku gets and how early he gets it. Most protagonists have to wait till at least the second series before the population love them. Yu///saku got it by the THIRD EPISODE. BY. BEAT. A. MOOK. He was called a hero, people were saying he was hot, people were copying his avatar. AND IT NEVER STOPPED. EVERY OTHER EPISODE HAS SOMEONE SAY HE’S AMAZING, STRONG AND SOOO IMPORTANT. 

An A//oi episode in season 1 has a less than five minute section just to show that a kid HERO WORSHIPS YU//SAKU AND WAS IT. The kid appears with an avatar based on PM, PM saves him and tells the kid to trust him to save and then the kid logs out. AND THIS HAPPENS CONSTANTLY. “YU//SAKU IS INVINCIBLE”, “YU//SAKU IS MY HERO!”, “EVERYONE DEPENDS ON YOU YU//SAKU”. IT’S BEEN AN ENTIRE SHOW OF PEOPLE SINGING YU///SAKU’S PRAISES AND THE WORST PART OF IT IS, HE DESERVES NONE OF IT.

The setting. 

Let me ask ... THE FUCK IS IT. What even is Link Vr//ains? Is it a game, a site, a program? WHY IS IT ONLY IN DE///N CITY? WHY IS DESTROYING IT WILL LEAD TO THE ENTIRE INTERNET CRASHING???????? Link Vr///ains is something that NEEDS to be explained but the show NEVER DOES. HELL IT NEVER EVEN TRIES. 

The girls

Jesus christ ... the girls are .... just sad. A///oi ... my fucking god A//oi. A///oi’s personality starts and ends with “onii-sama”. NEARLY EVERY MOTIVE OF HER’S IS I WANT TO DO SOMETHING FOR MY STEPBROTHER. Everything else is a passing fancy. Mi///yu? Yeah nice motivation but that’s why her two duels as BM in season 2 is more about her relationship with Ak//ira than her “friend”. 

Em//ma’s backstory was absorbed into BS’ despite the fact he was a new addition when Em//ma was around since season 1. 

Vir//ya is just a bit character meant to fill out the remain KOH, since their return in season 2, she haven’t done anything of value. 

Qu///een ... why is she there? I mean she appeared in a Bikini ... in virtual reality. seriously there is no point in that shit, and then did nothing besides watch over Ear//th’s death and then lost to A//i when her skill was named honey trap. 

Mi////yu is so unimportant we haven’t gotten a scene of her out of flashback despite being a lost chi//ld.   

Back to A//oi, it’s not even that A//oi isn’t important,sadly that’s not uncommon in YGO, it’s the fact EACH TIME SHE TRIES TO DO SOMETHING, THE SHOW PUNISHES HER FOR IT. She tries to be a symbol for people, it’s stupid why she trying but still, Spec///tre reveals he was toying with her the entire time and she had no chance. She tries to get stronger in season 2, SB beats cause she doesn’t have an Ig//nis and then she does nothing for half the season. She tries to save her “childhood friend”, Bow//man beats her and takes her consciousness so Yu//saku has to save her ... again. She tries to protected Ak//ira, A//i beats them and only takes A//oi to taunt her over her failure. THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE SHOW, ANYTIME A//OI TRIES TO DO ANYTHING, THE SHOW BEAT HER UP AS IF TO SAY, YOU SHOULDN’T DO ANYTHING EVER. Great message there. 

Simulations

You know as people there are plenty of reasons that conflict starts, greed, hate, anger, lust, desperation to survive, hunger. And how does conflict start in V/r? FUCKING SIMULATIONS. EVERY SINGLE CONFLICT IN THIS SHOW IS BECAUSE OF A SIMULATION. K//OH are a thing cause Kog///ami did a simulation that showed that the Ig//nis are learning TOO FAST AND WILL CAUSE THE END OF HUMANITY. Ligh///tning turned evil because he learned no matter what he can NEVER BE FRIENDS WITH HUMANITY CAUSE OF A SIMULATION. A///i turning “evil” because he’s doom to end the world cause of you guessed it a SIMULATION. Simulations are just tools and are NEVER THE FINAL RESULT. There are too many variables to truly make an 100% accurate simulation BUT HERE THEY ACT AS IF SIMULATIONS ARE A FUCKING GOSPEL. IT’S STUPID AND INCREDIBLY LAZY THAT THE CAUSE OF ALL the conflict in this show is because of independent simulations.  

Mental illness

As a person with a mental illness and went to therapy I can say this, VR doesn’t deserve any brown points for covering mental illness. If anything VR touching mentally illness takes points away. I have already said my piece on how poorly VR tackles mental illness. But my take away is this when it comes to mental illness VR is a absolutely horrible.

Rev///ovler

Re//voler is in all honestly a shitty character despite what his fans think. He’s an asshole that has no drive of his own. He admit he does this all BECAUSE OF HIS DAD. The one time he did do something of his own accord, turn his dad in, he later regretted so much that he refuses to do it again. LOOK I can understand missing your father despite the fact he’s trash, human relationships are complex BUT RE///VOLVER BEING “FATHER I WILL NEVER EVER GO AGAINST YOU AGAIN DESPITE THE FACT YOU KIDNAPPED KIDS AND THEN TORTURED THEM BECAUSE YOU FELT SAD HUMAN WILL EVENTUALLY GO EXTINCT ONLY TO TURN ON YOUR CREATIONS” IS FUCKING STUPID. And then he goes the EXTRA MILE OF ASS and says to Yu//saku’s face that he REGRETS SAVING HIS LIFE TWICE. And he never apologized either. 

Also his “development” is forced as shit, Revo//lver never develops onscreen or shows signs of changing, just the show and characters say OH YES RE//VOLVER CHANGED.... IN A SHORT PERIOD OF TIME.  Honestly after his return in season 2 where he showed he DIDN’T CHANGE, then he tries to help Hom//ura despite telling Yu//saku he regrets saving him. WHY THE CHANGE. HE HAS SEEN NOTHING THAT MADE HE FEEL SYMPATHY FOR THE LOST KI//DS. BUT HE’S ALL OF A SUDDEN KIND TO HO///MURA. AND THEN AFTER HE LOSES TO LIGH//TNING AND SAY’S A/I NAME, ONLY TO SNAP BACK IN SEASON 3 AND WANTS TO KILL A///I. What I’m saying is, he has no real character development, you can tell what the show WANTED him to become but my god they were too lazy to actually show him changing. 

Yu//saku

OH BOY this is going to be long. Yu//saku is by far the WORST WRITTEN PROTAGONIST IN YGO HISTORY.  He has no personality and no real background besides HE WAS TORTURED, POOR HIM!!!!! Seriously what was his life like before the Lo//st Incident. What did he like to do, did he have friends, where the fuck are his parents. There is no information about him, past or present. Like his current “personality”, WHAT IS IT besides he’s stoic/emotionless. He’s not nice or even mean anymore. He has no likes or even dislikes. All we know is he’s determined ... and that’s it. Yu//saku is a blank slate for the viewers to project on. Yu//saku is honestly NOTHING. 

Honestly, Yu///saku isn’t strong as he cheats the MAJORITY of his duels, he isn’t smart as rarely does he do anything that’s smart, wanting to brutal force the solution and he doesn’t follow his own advice. 

Yu//saku: Bonds are important and the only thing that are absolutes

Yu//saku then fucks off for 3 MONTHS NOT TELLING ANYONE

And like Re//volver, his “development” is forced as hell. He just says things that make no sense for him to say. Yu//saku shouldn’t say revenge doesn’t help WHEN IT OBVIOUSLY DID. The show was supporting him and he got the guy that kidnapped him killed and then he got better. HELL JI//N WAS SAID TO GET BETTER ONCE THE K//OH WERE BEAT.   

[helenarlett-rex]

Helen’s Book Reviews #8 (Super Dream Horse APP: Turn Into Male Horse? Yes/No)

Super Dream Horse APP: Turn Into Male Horse? Yes/No 

By Wild Overdraft

Cover observation: The cover left me confused at first. With the title written all in caps, I didn’t realize at first that APP was app, as in short for application. I was actually reading it as Super Dream Horse A.P.P. and had no idea what that meant. Sorry... I’m dumb when it comes to some aspects of technology. I have like, zero apps on my phone... The actual photo of a horse in the background paired with the illustration of a horse woman in the foreground is a weird mix. I’m honestly not sure if it helps or hurts the cover. Although the illustration itself is pretty nice. Finally! A woman with a dick who is actually showing a bulge in her pants! Why don’t more covers do this?

On to the book: The story itself was very interesting to me. The characters were interesting. The sex was sexy even if it stretched my suspension of disbelief well past acceptable limits. (She's the one who turns into an anthropomorphic futa horse, but the human guy is the one with a penis so big she can stuff her arm down his urethra? Just how big is his penis again?) It hit all the right notes I wanted to see from a book like this and I wanted so, so badly to like it more than I did. But this is a prime example of why an editor, or a proofreader, or a common understanding of writing structure is so important. It's just little things like, start a new paragraph every time a different person starts talking, that could have easily fixed this book and brought it up to a 4 star or even 5 star book. But if your reader is having trouble telling who's saying what because you have characters going back and forth between eight or nine lines of exchanged dialogue in a single paragraph, you've done something wrong. If your reader can't tell if the characters are having sex on the side of the road, in the car, or at the house, because your descriptive narrative is vague and unclear in areas where it really matters, while long and extensive in unimportant parts, you've done something wrong. (I literally thought they had already gotten in the car and was trying to figure out if they were still having sex in the car or if they had made it back to the house, only to later learn that they were still on the side of the road and the car hadn't even shown up yet.) There were just too many small writing mistakes all piling up and working against each other, making the book far too jarring. And it's a real shame too, because this could have otherwise been a personal favorite if it had just been a little more polished.

Oh yeah... I guess I should probably point out that the story was about a teen idol who finds a mysterious app on her phone that asks her if she wants to become a male horse and she clicks yes, because she’s jealous of her bodyguard’s giant penis. But for reasons that aren’t explained, it doesn’t turn her into a male horse. It turns her into an anthropomorphic futa horse. She’s happy to finally have a huge dick, she decides to stay that way, she and her bodyguard fuck the entire way back home... At least I think that’s what happened... Again, it was a really confusing read thanks to the poor story structure.

2 stars. Wish I could give it more, but I can’t... I also wish I could convince Wild Overdraft to let me preform extensive edits on this book for them, but they only wrote two books back in 2016 and then dropped out of the market, so I doubt I’d ever be able to find them.

[azuresquirrel]

OKAY FOLKS, MY INTITIAL HOT TAKES ™ ON STAR WARS: THE LAST JEDI, BEFORE I EXPOSE MYSELF TO ANY OF THE DISCUSSION OR DISCOURSE. UNLESS IT IS NOT CLEAR, THIS POST IS SPOILER-TASTIC.

Alrighty, before we get to the meat of the thing let me give ENTIRELY too many disclaimers:

-I would not consider myself a Star Wars Expert. I’d say I’m a fan and about a half-step up from the standard casual moviegoer. I love the movies, the original trilogy was a big deal in my childhood. I have encountered the EU in small bits – a novel here and there, an episode of a cartoon here and there. But I am decidedly not a person who is Keeping Up with the billions of Star Wars media out there so I want it clear that’s the perspective I’m coming from.

-Also my Overall Take on the movie is generally positive and I also think I will enjoy it more on a second viewing, whenever that may be. But I did go into it, given the non-spoilery rumblings I’d heard to either Love It or Hate It. I’d say neither is the case. I Liked it, which really is something of a disappointment, but perhaps that second viewing would move it up. Also I will likely be more detailed on the stuff I had problems with than the stuff I liked, but the stuff I liked did outweight the stuff I had issues with.

-As to “where” I would rank this movie in my personal rankings . . . bros, I don’t know. I have immense childhood built-in bias to Episodes IV – VI. Better than the prequels, OBVIOUSLY (which let’s be real, the prequels had SOME good stuff in the them but it sure is a lot of bullshit to wade through). I never really gave my Official Take on Rogue One because IT WAS THE DAY THAT CARRIE FISHER PASSED, and I honestly think it will take me a while to be ABLE to watch it again because I associate it so strongly with her passing. But here’s my Take anyway: it had good concepts and a goddamn killer third act, but the first two acts were a goddamn SLOG and I just could not find Jyn an investing protagonist for all that I tried. I’d rank The Last Jedi over Rogue One – I had a similar “when are we going to get to the fireworks factory” deal with it, but still the stalling period was more enjoyable in The Last Jedi than in Rogue One. And it falls short to The Force Awakens to me. The Force Awakens felt more focused, and it had more of what I personally was looking for – that “SHIT YEAH I’M WATCHING STAR WARS” feeling. The Last Jedi got there EVENTUALLY but it got there really really late. I pretty much enjoyed The Force Awakens the whole way through whereas I was feeling a good deal of FRUSTRATION a ways into The Last Jedi.

So, let’s get to specifics:

-Well, I mean I think it’s clear why I think a second viewing will improve my opinion on the film. I spent a LOT of it WAITING and FRUSTRATED and thinking “WHEN ARE WE GOING TO GET TO THE FIREWORKS FACTORY/THE POINT.” I had Concerns about things, not knowing where they were going (AND I THINK VALIDLY SO AT THE TIME), so since it largely ended up in places that I LIKED maybe I’ll be able to enjoy the waiting period a lot more in the future.

-Look, I know that Star Wars movies are Events and are never short but fucking, this movie was still TOO LONG. Felt the same about Rogue One (but less so here), didn’t feel that way about The Force Awakens.

-Well let’s see, in my mind there were basically four plots in this movie – Rey and Luke, Finn and Rose, Poe and the Rebels, and Kyle Ron Bullshit (I suppose some would argue that Kyle Ron bullshit was pretty much a part of the Rey and Luke plot. Technically, they are probably correct. IN MY NON-TECHNICAL MIND, IT IS A SEPARATE THING GIVEN I THOUGHT “OH THIS SHIT AGAIN” WHENEVER HE CAME ONSCREEN). The overall: Finn and Rose was GREAT THROUGHOUT, THE MOST MOVIE-ISH OF THEM AND THE MOST ENJOYABLE AND I LOVE THEM AND ALSO BB8. Rey and Luke I ALSO LIKED A WHOLE, WHOLE LOT, THOUGH I IMAGINE THERE MAY BE ~CONTROVERSY~ THERE. However I also felt a good deal of Frustration and Concern thanks to all the Kyle Ron Bullshit inserted there. Poe and the Rebels . . . . . oooooooooooooof. Yeah. That was a thing.

-On a more shallow note: one thing that was uniformly good throughout was all the NEW STAR WARS CREATURES. Icicle-foxes on mineral planet (and actually being of MINOR PLOT IMPORTANCE), stupidly adorable giant rabbit-horses, JUDGEMENTAL FISH NUNS, and the godawfully adorable merchandise mandate of the porgs. We didn’t get that much in the way of exciting new Star Wars planets/worlds, but the creatures made up for it.

-Okay I don’t count it as new because we saw it at the end of The Force Awakens, but I was extremely appreciative of Ireland: Luke’s picturesque Cranky Jedi Exile Planet. THE SOUTHWEST COAST OF IRELAND, LAND OF MY ANCESTORS, IS BEAUTIFUL.

-I HAVE A LOT OF EMOTIONS ABOUT LUKE SKYWALKER: MY DEAD GAY DAD/SON (courtesy of spaceoperetta, that joke). I just . . . loved . . . my heart . . . .

-OLD CRANKY LUKE HAVING RETIRED TO HIS ANGRY GAY PICTURESQUE EXILE PLANET BECAUSE HE HAD THE HUBRIS ™ AND FAILED ™. JUST. RELATABLE.

-REY JUST FUCKING FOLLOWING HIM FOR ALL HIS CRANKY EXILE DAYS, BEING JUST A FUCKING STUBBORN.

-All the stuff Luke had to say about The Force and why the Jedi were crap was just . . . GOOD. I APPROVE.

-And Force Ghost Yoda ends up burning the damn tree anyway, what a troll.

-. . . why do I have the feeling that Luke in The Last Jedi is going to become my new AA4 Phoenix? I just have a HUNCH. YES HE MADE SOME BAD CHOICES ™ AND IS OLD AND BITTER BUT. I GET IT. FOLKS, I GET IT.

-And the whole END when he ASTRAL-PROJECTS AWESOMENESS ONTO MINERAL PLANET. BEING AWESOME AND OLD AND SASSY. PULLING SOME STRAIGHT-UP AIRBENDER MOVES ON KYLE RON.

-I was keeping the tears back throughout the movie but the Leia and Luke scene BROKE ME.

-And then he dies (as I expected), looking out at the double sunset just like in A New Hope fucking forty years ago. I CRIED SOME MORE.

-I HAVE A LOT OF EMOTIONS ABOUT LUKE SKYWALKER.

-Okay REY. Somehow felt like there was . . . less of Rey in this film than in TFA? Like probably actually not but it felt like she got to do more STUFF in TFA. And the CONCERNS did not help. BUT YES, REY WITH A LIGHTSABER, REY PILOTING THE FALCON, REY MOVING SOME FUCKING ROCKS. REY!!!!!!

-Also can the third movie NOT go back on the conclusion that we came to re: Rey’s parentage from this film? Her “coming from nothing” having just regular-ass junker parents, she DOESN’T have that ~special Skywalker blood~. PLEASE. PLEASE DON’T GO BACK ON IT, SERIES. BECAUSE I LIKE IT. She “doesn’t have a place in this story” in the Multigenerational Skywalker Family Drama. BUT SHE IS REY!!! SHE IS HERSELF AND CAN BE GREAT ANYWAY!!!! THE FORCE IS NOT “A POWER TO MOVE ROCKS” AND IT’S NOT MIDICHOLIRAN BULLSHIT, IT ISI WITHIN HER AS IT IS EVERYTHING! THAT STRENGTH COMES FROM HERSELF DAMMIT.

-(okay bad joke time, you all know I was totally thinking “YES REY, FIND YOUR GAY DESTINY IN THE GIANT SEAWEED VAGINA” re: the Empire Strikes Back ripoff cave that only shows you your own face).

-Before I get to The Issues – FINN AND ROSE WERE GREAT AND I LOVE THEM!!!! I AM GLAD THAT ROSE ARTICULATED THE REBELLION SO WELL!!!! THEY WORKED GREAT TOGETHER!!!! FINN CONTINUES TO BE A JOY!!!! BOTH OF THEM ARE THE HOPE OF THIS REBELLION!!!!

-AND SHE SAVED HIM AND I HAD THE EMOTIONS. AND I WORRIED SHE DIED BUT THANK GOD SHE DID NOT. AND THAT KISS WITH THE EXPLOSION IN THE BACKGROUND! FIGHTING FOR THE THINGS WE LOVE! EMOTIONS!

-ALSO SHOUTOUT TO FINN FOR HAVING MY REAL FIRST “SHIT YEAH I’M WATCHING STAR WARS” MOMENT WHEN HE GOES AT CAPTAIN PHASMA IN THE FUCKING BURNING DOWN SHIP. THAT WAS GOOD SHIT!!!!

-ALSO FINN RALLYING EVERYONE IN MINERAL PLANET BASE WITH HIS HOPE – YOU ARE THE TRUE FUTURE OF THE REBELLION!!!

-(okay but for the next movie can we have more than like two minutes of Maz Kanata? PLEASE?)

-Okay so circling back to Rey because of KYLE RON BULLSHIT. You can probably tell what my Concerns were. Like . . . I mean geez, I want to root for that hopefulness but CHRIST, COME ON HERE.

-I was happy that it turned out that their stupid ~connection~ was forged by Snoke, who is unimportant anyway and dies, that was frankly a bit of a relief.

-OKAY, BASICALLY I HAD WORRIES ABOUT THE SHIP I DARE NOT NAME, BUT LUCKILY REY IS GOOD AND KYLE RON CONTINUED TO BE AS HE IS, AS I EXPECTED. But can you blame me for the CONCERNS about their ~omg special Force connection~?

-But . . . . honestly it IS a problem with this new trilogy that I don’t care about Kyle Ron. So much of these movies are hanging on the fact that we have some investment in his decisions and his fate and I . . . don’t. Like when Leia was reaching out to him with The Force I should have Felt Something and I did not. I perhaps should have been slightly less “eh, can you really blame him” at the reveal that Luke did indeed for a moment consider offing him.  He is so important to so many of the characters but I just . . . . they’re trying to make him into a Zuko but he ISN’T. HE’S JUST SHITTY. I DON’T CARE ABOUT HIS SUPPOSED ~CONFLICT~. AND HONESTLY THAT’S A PROBLEM. HE *SHOULD* BE A COMPELLING VILLAIN THAT YOU FEEL CONFLICTED ABOUT. YOU SHOULD *WANT* HIM TO BE REDEEMED LIKE HOW YOU WANTED LUKE TO SUCCEED IN REACHING VADER LIKE IN RETURN OF THE JEDI. BUT I JUST. DON’T. CARE. HE’S JUST A SHITTY WHINY SPOILED MANBABY.

-So like on the one hand I was happy that SNoke and his stylish gold robe essentially ended up being UNIMPORTANT. He dies and it made little difference. Because I didn’t really care!

- . . . but then again, isn’t that similar to the Kyle Ron problem? Because like . . . if the whole dealio of this plot, that Kyle Ron was corrupted to the Dark Side and Sith Ways thanks to his Andy Serkis CGI fucker, then SHOULDN’T it matter a bit? WHO IS THIS GUY AND WHERE DID HE COME FROM? WHAT IS HIS MOTIVATION BESIDES “EVIL?” WHERE DID THIS SITH FUCKER POP UP FROM AFTER PALPITINE WAS OFFED? Like . . . I don’t personally care but for the story itself it SHOULD matter. Instead it’s just “and then Kyle Ron became Dark Side because The Evil Guy said so.” If you want something actually compelling you need to fucking put MORE into it.

-So then the part where we needed to care about the tracked and almost out of fuel Rebel Forces. One would think I would given that Leia was there (for like five minutes and also SHE USED THE FORCE TO SAVE HERSELF AND I HAD THE EMOTIONS) But. Well.

-Oh, and pausing to point out that Star Wars is getting BETTER with women as it has more women onscreen than ever but like – I was concerned about Rose dying with ALL THE DYING ASIAN WOMEN ONSCREEN. Yes the bomber ended up being her sister and important and it was a badass scene but like – could we not have killed her off IMMEDIATELY? Also was that Jasika (I’m not sure) who got unceremoniously blown up in her X-Wing? I’m just saying, STAR WARS STILL HAS SOME WAYS TO GO EVEN WITH REY AND ROSE.

-Also movie thank you for ultimately validating Purple-Haired Laura Dern as a good leader and a badass but I somehow doubt that will be the takeaway that most people have.

-BECAUSE I GUESS DREAMY POE DAMERON OF THE FORCE AWAKENS IS GONE AND REPLACED WITH A HOTHEADED CLONE WHO HAS A PROBLEM WITH WOMEN IN AUTHORITY OR SOMETHING.

-Like . . . why was it necessary . . . for this plot . . . for Poe to talk over and mansplain to and disobey orders from his fucking commanding officers who all just happen to be women.

-And I guess we’re not supposed to find him a rank hypocrite at the end when Finn disobeyed his orders to pull off from the Death Star But a Battering Ram (???) even though THAT’S WHAT POE’S BEEN DOING THIS WHOLE FUCKING MOVIE.

-Like god cutting back to those ships every time was TIRESOME and frankly I’m glad I did not have a ton of investment in Poe as a character before this or else I’d be RIGHT PISSED instead of just annoyed that the movie turned this character into a sexist and pretty much did not do ENOUGH to refute his ways. STILL ANNOYED THOUGH.

-Also is there any problem that the Empire/The First Order has encountered that they didn’t go “throw a Death Star” at it? I think a barked a laugh when they were like “IT’S MINIATURE DEATH STAR TECH.”

-Other disappointments – I THOUGHT KYLE RON WOULD STRAIGHT UP MURDER HUX AT LIKE TOO POINTS AND HE DIDN’T. I would’ve at least appreciated that ginger asshole getting murdered (especially when he slapped Finn I thought “M U R D E R”), but NOPE, KYLE RON MUST BE A DISAPPOINTMET IN ALL THINGS.

-THERE SHOULD HAVE BEEN MORE LEIA!!!!! AND NOW WHAT WILL THEY DO WITH THE NEXT MOVIE!!!!! BECAUSE CARRIE!!!!! I AM VERY UPSET!!!!!!!

-Oh Christ, this is so long and I’m kind of trailing off into shitpost territory, SO IF I HAVE MORE SHITPOSTY THOUGHTS I WILL HAVE THEM LATER.

-So good movie but I had FRUSTRATIONS.

-In conclusion: I LOVE LUKE SKYWALKER, MY DEAD GAY DAD/SON.

[cameiotmagazine-blog]

A review of Impulse, the comic book series.

Boy, I love having a website. It's really great, because I have been wanting to do this for years, and I've had these ideas for years about this thing in particular for a while, and I have a place to say it, finally. So, let's talk about Impulse, one of the greatest comic books ever, maybe. Definitely one of the best superhero comic books ever. One of my favorite superhero comic books/comic books.

Impulse is something of an anomaly. So, a little backstory, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Not that it really matters that much or anything. Impulse is Bart Allen. He is the great, great, great, great, whatever grandson of Barry Allen, the original Flash. Bart Allen is from the future, and he spent his entire life living in a video game until he was rescued in a story I don't really care about. All right, I just never really read it. Created by Mark Waid, great guy, great writer, I like him, quite a lot and the series sold me on him.

Impulse was a fun character. Okay, so, Impulse is a 14 year old kid, and he lives with Quicksilver, aka Max Mercury, is assigned to train him. Max is, you know, a silver-haired hunk of a person who's over a couple hundred years old and sort of like a zen sort of master, which is ironic considering that he can run super fast because zen people are considered to go super slow. Do you get it? Do you get the irony? Get it? I kid because I love.

So, here is the deal, I guess, the deal with Bart Allen. Bart Allen is fun. Bart Allen is a fun character. The entirety of the Impulse series was fun. Fun. Even after Mark Waid left, it was a fun comic series. The jokes were funny. It was even sweet a lot of the time. I bought the relationship between Max Mercury and Bart was nice. It was a good father/son relationship. And so, there are some thought things, and it turns out, and this is important because I have a lot to say about what happens at the end of this series, and it surrounds the character of Max's daughter, Helen Claiborne, I think is how you say it.

Okay. So, let's go over some highlights before we get to the ending because there's a lot to discuss the ending in my opinion. Part of the things that sort of make Impulse interesting. Okay, the first thing that makes Impulse interesting. First, he's a fun character inherently, who like a lot of people who can run super fast like, in comic books, is a fun, thinks fast, talks fast. He's kind of the perfect fit for Waid's style. He's also, interestingly, a popular kid in his school who gets popular just being nice and friendly to everybody. I'm trying to remember a specific comic.

Honestly, the entire series is really fun. A few things I like, I actually really liked when Bart's mother came from the future. And there's a really great scene because in the future it turns out they don't really speak the same language that we do because it's the future and time language changes. So, Bart decides, I'm going to teach her how to speak, you know, modern day English vernacular, I guess I'll say that. But, because I'm like a speedster dude, I'll do it super fast like. And they go through all this stuff. And it's like, there's brick Anyways, so, and he says, "This is a brick." Or there's a story where Bart gets a dog, that I like.

Have you noticed that a lot of the stuff I've brought up isn't like superhero related? Yeah, right. That's actually sort of part of the appeal of this. It's a, it's more down to earth sort of thing this was a 90's thing and I wouldn't go so far as to call it Linklateresque but it's definitely in that same mindset that some people were having. Cause it's often just about kids being kids. Maybe even sort of Spielbergesque style, you know. Now that I think about it, Spielberg, I mean obviously, Spielberg needs to direct a Superman movie. Because that's crazy, he's the absolute perfect choice for that. But, this would have been another decent pick for Spielberg.

Okay. I really want to talk about the ending for this because the ending has made me so mad for so long and it needs to be articulated by somebody, and I need to articulate this. Okay. So, remember I mentioned that Max had a daughter. So, Max moves in with his daughter, Helen. And Bart and Helen form a bond, or you know, they actually form a realistic relationship. And there are so many characters I haven't mentioned, but anyways, I don't have time for everybody. It's a conceivable mother/son relationship. So, the thing is, Bart is essentially an orphan who hasn't formed great bonds and has been uprooted in his life several times. And at the end of the series, Max Mercury mysteriously disappears and nobody knows where he went.

So, Max is a father figure, the one person that has been a consistent in his life, for a good deal of time and suddenly disappears. And with this, the entire Flash people freak out. So, the thing about Bart and this is another point I need to make about Bart is, Bart never wanted to be a Flash. Bart created his own identity. He created Impulse. In fact, there's a scene directly where Barry, no it's Wally, it's Wally at this point, asks him about that. Bart is most apathetic to overtly hostile to the concept of ever becoming a Kid Flash.

And I don't know, for young people especially, I was older when I read this, but I still kind of got it. And that's an important thing. It's an important thing in life to decide your own ideals and stuff. That's a thing DC doesn't do. Honestly. It does not have characters be truly independent. Name one that is, young person especially, that's what I'm thinking, that truly operates independently. There aren't any at all. And I'll get more into this later, I keep saying that.

But anyway, back to Helen. So, Bart forms a relationship with Helen. Max disappears, and the Flash's freak out about this. They decide that Bart should live with Jay Garrick and one of the last comics is Wally really lecturing Bart about this whole thing like, "You're being selfish. You should move in with Jay." And Bart is like, "I don't want to. I don't want to." Okay, so, here's the problem. Bart was 100% right. Bart has a huge point. No, why would somebody who has been tossed around his whole life, want to ever leave? Why would he ever want to stay in a single location with a person that was his surrogate mother and he formed a sincere connection to that wanted to stay with him?

Oh, I know. Because after this series, Bart, who had his own separate identity and his own separate ideals and his own family structure, forever now must be part of the Flash structure. Because after this he gets shunted off to the Teen Titans and changed into Kid Flash and loses his entire background and his supporting cast. Oh, and his personality changes.

But, no, there's no reason that people want to stay with their loved ones. That's not a thing. It got me so mad at this. The whole time I was reading this, I hated this issue. I hated this because it's an inexplicable thing DC does. And I don't want to talk fully about the nature of what happens to Bart, just because I've not read those stories really because they made me too mad. DC has a little bit of a tendency, well, I don't want to bring up, I'm not the hugest Geoff Johns fan. I know he's done a lot of good work. I find I'm not the biggest of his. And I don't really want to complain about this because it's boring and I think nobody cares about this.

So, Geoff Johns once gave an interview about DC, and I can't find the exact quote, but it was something along the lines of He thinks the real great thing is this huge legacy that DC has, like it's legacy characters and that's kind of great. And that's fine, but I think a problem he has with a lot of characters is it comes off like, when other characters tend to want to do their own thing, I think DC has kind of a problem with this. And it resonates a lot. I think Impulse is a good example of that because they do not like Impulse. His entire history after that has been a recon of any personality he had and sanding down. And I just don't like that, you know, as a person.

What had been an interesting and unusual character in the Flash myths, that sold me on the Flash mythos was turned into another carbon copy of the Flash. Of the same Flash. And at times it seemed to be a deliberately mean parody of the Flash, of him, and what he used to be. And for Daring to not want to be part of his family's legacy and wanting to be his own ideals and independence, that's a thing I like. I don't know where that leaves me in this world or you in this world. This turned out to be a much longer thing than I thought it was going to be, but okay.

I just, I worry about people. I worry about how this world seems very intent on any individual thing needs to be commoditized and turned into smooth goop and how the self is fundamentally unimportant and how people have become fundamentally unimportant to this world. And I don't know what is left for the person. 

[xanth-the-wizard]

How To Engage Your Players

I've been thinking about how lately how to engage players at the table when running a campaign as it's a problem I've definitely had in the past. I don't believe in the whole, in-game punishment concept, so here are some ideas on how to solve that problem and keep things fun.

Give Your PC Purpose!/Involve Them Into the Story

A lot of times in larger groups, certain PCs tend to grab more of the spotlight than others. This leaves other players feeling left out or unimportant. So the best way may be to simply give them more involvement in the story in a unique or dramatic way. Feeling important or vital to the narrative can really boost engagement. Suddenly after saving the Queen of a foreign kingdom, your Fighter is now an honorary knight of the kingdom and gain a small militia that will assist you in battle whenever you call upon them for aid. Or perhaps your party has been captured by band of powerful thieves, but rather than killing you all outright, they strike a deal with your Rogue to steal a highly dangerous magical item. Another option could be a PC gains some magical ability or object that empowers them, but makes them highly sought after by others.

"My Character Sucks"

Related to the ideas above, sometimes the problem isn't just getting more involved in the story, but that they have issues with their PC. Perhaps their character isn't useful or powerful enough. Good fixes for this, magic items. Giving players magic items, not even necessarily Rare or Legendary items can help make them feel more powerful or useful, as long as they don't have a huge advantage over the other players this may work just fine. Or perhaps your player is running a class that feels relatively weak. The Beast Master archetype for Ranger in 5th edition is honestly quite lacking in many ways. My personal fix for this was giving the Ranger more feats from the Hunter archetype (or possibly making their companion creature stronger/more flexible to use in combat).

"My Character Sucks Part II"

Now if your player is losing interest simply because they don't LIKE their character, there are two choices they can make. 1.) Have them roll a new character and retire the old one. It's simple, and gives them a chance to try out a new class and have some fun. But this isn't always great for narrative purposes and can be a lot more work for YOU. Or quite possible this just won't solve the issue. So that leaves you with the other choice. 2.) Make the character dynamic. Characters can become boring because they are static, they refuse to change and grow stale. This is often why characters in novels are dynamic characters, they need to change to feel real and remain interesting. Or maybe the character is just a huge asshole. Either way, evolving their character gives them a chance to grow and evolve their character in an exciting way. This could also be something they can work out with you as the DM (which should be less work than writing in a new party member)

One Special Moment/Everybody Gets to be a Star!

I often try to make sure each player has at least one special moment per session (although I'm not always the greatest at it..). As I mentioned above, some players may take a larger control over the narrative or action. Making sure each player has a specific moment crafted for them or their character can be challenging but very rewarding.

Active Engagement

This one seems like an easy one but a DM has to keep track of a LOT of things. I believe your players should be your number one priority. Whenever you see a player seems to be feeling left out or receding into the background, try engaging them by asking their character questions either as the DM or even as an NPC. How does their PC feel about the current situation? What are they doing while the party gets hammered in the tavern? Do they notice something the others don't? Roll Perception.

Active Engagement (Among Players)

To add onto the idea above, ask your more active players to encourage roleplay and decision making between each other, especially when another player seems to be left out. This can help immensely. Creating strong ties between PCs too can help create a unique and fun dynamic that is not only interesting for the story but can also keep everyone involved.

Removing Cell Phones & Other Distractions

Most everyone keeps their cell phones on hand, so texting, snapchatting, tweeting, etc. can be pretty distracting. Obviously all of these can be used correctly and politely, but I'm sure we've all seen players who take this over the top. I had a player who spent nearly an entire session playing an app game, barely looking up except to do something ridiculous or hazardous to the party simply because THEY were "bored." Taking away one person's phone is pretty controlling and could even be embarrassing for your friend. So instead, offer that everyone put their phone's in a bucket when you start playing to keep everyone totally involved in the game. Your own phone as well if you don't use it for the game. Only times you're allowed to take them out is when you take a break or need to look something up. (Oh and emergencies too, of course. And ordering pizza)

Discourage Out of Game Discussion

It can difficult to immerse yourself in the game if everyone keeps interrupting the game to talk about their plans for the weekend or a funny picture they saw on Twitter that everyone NEEDS to see. If this is a problem for your players, make sure to include an appropriate amount of breaks while having a session.

Talk To Your Players

If all of the above don't seem to be working, the best option may be just to simply talk to them. Outside of the game, ask your player(s) what's preventing them from engaging or involving themselves with the game. There are an infinite number of reasons why, a direct conversation can help bring these reasons to light and give you a chance to work on them. Meet your players half-way. You may want to talk to them directly right away or give them a few sessions to see if the issue resolves itself.

What If None of That Works?

Chances are, maybe this just isn't the right campaign for your player. Worst case scenario, they just aren't interested in D&D. This isn't necessarily a reflection on your DM'ing abilities. It all comes down to personal taste.

Also keep in mind not every player enjoys the game in the same ways. Some players are engaged with the story, but just prefer taking a backseat and watching the others, participating when they feel. This isn't bad, as long as someone is helping drive the story. I also have tons of players who like to doodle while playing but still remain heavily active and engaged in the campaign. Even cell phone use isn't a problem for me, especially during combat. In the end, it all comes down the individual. Make sure you get to know your players and what works for them and what doesn't!

This is all just personal opinion so feel free to add your own ideas by reblogging and adding ideas!

[timeclonemike]

Time to reinstall it again.

So. There’s this thing about Deus Ex that’s been rattling around in my head for a while.

The original game was iconic because despite its flaws and the limitations of the engine, it existed in a sweet spot of storytelling narrative, world exploration, stealth, combat, and strategy. It wasn’t the first First Person Shooter / Role Playing Game hybrid, but it was one of the best for a long time and still holds up today.

But I think some games that tried to follow in its footsteps, including the later installments in the same franchise, missed the mark when aiming for that sweet spot. I don’t necessarily mean choices to port to consoles or not, or engine limitations, or anything that exists on the technological side of the game design process. I mean the stories that these games are trying to tell.

In the original Deus Ex, there was some optional dialog when talking to one of the members of the old guard Illuminati where he explains the whole psychological aspect of secrecy and inducting recruits into a multi-tiered conspiracy; the prospect of learning increasingly valued and restricted information is the biggest incentive for the new guys to do well by whatever standards the group uses to evaluate people. (I think it was Stanton Dowd but don’t hold me to that.)

Whether or not the writers intended to or not, they were also describing the progression of a player through the game itself. Every new objective met and mission accomplished and note found and computer hacked filled in another blank, completed more of the jigsaw puzzle, until by the time the endgame starts if the player has been playing attention, they know what’s going on and how high the stakes are.

The focal point of the original Deus Ex was secrecy and trust. You start out working for a top secret task force that holds its cards very close to its vest by design. When you find out that they’re the fox guarding the chicken coop and switch sides, you end up working with... more groups that hold their cards close. Do you trust these organized crime guys to help you and not stab you in the back? Do you believe this lady whose apartment is filled with the telltale sound of security lasers? Do you take your pilots advice? Do you listen to the voice in your head? If you’re working with organized crime now, maybe you’re the bad guy after all. Maybe your old bosses were hardcore hard-asses because the sociopolitical situation is that fucked up. Maybe society really does need an invisible hand on the steering wheel, if ordinary people are just going to panic and turn on each other. Or maybe there are no good guys in this war, just competing assholes with different outfits.

These are the questions that a first time player had to ask themselves, and it isn’t until you start screwing around in the VersaLife facility that you start to find evidence supporting what your allies are actually telling you in dialog, emails, and infolink transmissions. You find the Dragon’s Tooth blueprints and spread that around. Doing that, you find out about the Universal Constructor and its role in the creation of Grey Death and Ambrosia. You blow that up (and according to newspapers most of the VersaLife building) and you find out about the supertanker. Scuttle that and both before and after you learn more about the Illuminati and Majestic Twelve, so you head to Paris and so on and so on and so on... every step fills in more of the blanks. Honestly a conspiracy thriller is the perfect story to tell using a video game because the pacing is so compatible.

Now let’s look at what was not the focus of Deus Ex: Questions about the human condition and the socioeconomic implications of technological assistance. Mechanical augmentation is old school by the time JC Denton gets dumped out of the incubator tank with his cutting edge nanotechnology based augments. There’s two other mechs working at UNATCO, the bartender at Underworld, and maybe Jojo Fine, even if his are cosmetic. The MJ12 Commandos are, according to one email, outfitted with “off-the-shelf” hardware that turns them into walking weapons platforms with enhanced vision and hearing, and running off of standard power supplies. The questions of how this technology would change the human condition and society didn’t get directly addressed during the main plot because for the most part, they didn’t matter; the world was literally falling apart and everyone had much more important stuff to think about. Like not catching an incurable disease. Or finding enough food to live another day.

The implications of what the technology could do to or for people did get addressed in the endgame, but in service to the game’s central theme of trust and secrecy. Technology is a force multiplier and by exploiting the developments in nano augments, artificial intelligence, and the Universal Constructor, Bob Page was turning himself into God. Omniscient, able to manipulate information on a global scale through Helios and the Aquinus Protocol, immortal, and theoretically invincible through his armies of mass produced robots, engineered life forms, and loyal followers. And Bob Page would certainly not be a just and loving god, because he’s an asshole with a massive ego. So he can’t be allowed to become One With All Things. Aside from that, the game is open ended in what happens next, and it comes down to trust in the end; you can trust humanity to steer its own course with nobody in the shadows trying to pull strings, you can trust your fellow conspirators to steer humanity in the right direction behind the scenes... or. You can say “fuck this” and do it yourself by merging with the Helios AI before Page does and becoming a much more benevolent higher power than he would ever be, no matter how much of a dick you were in game.

This is the problem I have with Invisible War, Human Revolution, and to a lesser extent Mankind Divided because I haven’t played it (waiting for a Steam Sale) and I don’t know how much it takes its cues from the other two games. Basically, the dichotomy between augmented and non augmented humans is given center stage, driving the conflict between different factions even when engineered by a third faction behind the scenes. Even within the context of it being another attempt by conspirators to guide human society in a direction that they want it to go, it dominates the philosophical landscape of the plot as well. This is especially true when both sides are presented as having good points, and both sides are shown being supported by assholes who will do anything to further their ideals, and other assholes who use the ideals of their action as an excuse to be assholes. The entire narrative tension becomes a never ending circle jerk until the player picks a side and kills key members of the other one.

Not that anyone’s asked me, but I think the Deus Ex franchise needs to return to its roots of secrecy, trust, and open ended philosophical meandering. And to a limited extent, I have some ideas on how to do this.

First, focus on a plot that really emphasizes the idea of a conspiracy seizing power purely for the sake of power itself. This disconnects the main antagonist, whoever they are, from whatever philosophical arguments get made in the rest of the game.

Second, the question of “what it means to be human” needs to go back into the setting background again. Have it crop up in newspaper articles, blog posts, books and ebooks, have it be something that academics can make tenure arguing about, and (this is important) only have NPCs bring it up when it directly affects them. And have most of the NPC banter and dialog be entirely based around stuff that people today can relate to; incompetent politicians playing fast and loose with the rules, the rising costs of health care, climate change and deniers of the same, economic uncertainty in all of its many many flavors, natural disasters, and mixed in with all of that is a little bit of concern about augments and how it affects their lives specifically. Hell, include a parody news article where augment producing companies complain that post-millennial generations are “ruining” the augmentation market.

Third, bring back skills all the way. Deus Ex started you out with a flashlight in your eyes and a radio in your skull, with options for upgrades later, so you had to get by with your wits, planning, and whatever you put your skill points into during character creation. In Invisible War Alex starts with just the flashlight, but their entire genetic structure has been developed from the ground up to prototype universal genetic alteration and biomod integration. Adam Jensen kicks a reasonable amount of ass with just his tricked out gun during the opening interactive cutscene / tutorial of Human Revolution, and does real well right up until he gets bushwacked by Team Asshole, after which his boss has them put literally everything in the Serif Industries catalog into the guy’s body. No Deus Ex protagonist can ever realistically be expected to align themselves with the anti-modification side in any conflict without invoking emotional manipulation, delusion, a suicide mission, or a vendetta against whoever wired them up without their consent. So either the mods have to be completely optional, or the social dichotomy has to be completely optional. (Or a completely unimportant background detail compared to the rest of the plot.)

Fourth, if you have to keep some sort of dichotomy, make it more complicated than just two sides, for and against. Make it like real life. Make it complicated as different people go “well I agree with this part but that other thing is a deal breaker” and mix and match until the whole human augmentation position exists on a grid system just like political ideologies do, measured using two different X and Y axes. Or (I cannot believe I’m saying this) take a page out of Civilization Beyond Earth’s book with the Affinities, especially the Hybrid Affinities from Rising Tide:

Purity: No augments at all. Skills only

Harmony: Biotech and genetic engineering.

Supremacy: Mechanical augments.

Purity / Harmony: Genetic engineering, but only to wipe out disease and increase humanity’s natural abilities.

Purity / Supremacy: Cybernetics as a matter of utility and tool use, no AI research or enhancing the brain beyond what’s needed to interface with the augments.

Harmony / Supremacy: Transhumanism or bust!

This also lends itself to different abilities and how they get developed. So instead of just mech stuff added by surgery, there’s also retroviral gene therapy, and with skills that makes a trinity of abilities that all need to be balanced. Or at least, if a player goes all in with one group, it requires a certain play style to do (probably with an achievement for beating the game that way). If skills are about what you can do in the world and how well you can interact with objects in that world (five different weapons skills to choose from, hacking, picking locks, etc) then it would make sense for genetic engineering to add passive upgrades and abilities like health regen, improved strength and reflexes, resistance to toxins and knockout darts, and so on. Meanwhile mechanical augments go straight for adding functionality and integrating technology, as with the infolink and seeing through walls. Having all three of these categories be open ended, without any artificial mutual exclusion and railroading along a specific path, means that a player is limited entirely by the circumstances they find or expect to find, and the opportunity cost of making one choice at the exclusion of others. Presumably the requirements for skill progression involved going out and doing things, while mech augments need at least outpatient surgery, and gene therapy requires some convalescence and has a nasty debuff effect while the virus is playing with the PC’s DNA, so there’s that tension going on. Also, augments probably require money while skills can be improved for free, but upgrades for the equipment that skills use, ammunition, and supplies also cost money, so there’s that resource management aspect.

This also means that the players allies and enemies can be more varied as well, because no group is defined purely by adherence to one type of ability or another. The groups are defined by where they stand in relation to the conspiracy driving the main plot (part of it or not, supporting it or not, aware of it or not) and possibly a completely tangential goal or mission like money for a mercenary team. This means that allied groups have more room to have memorable characters, and so do enemy groups as well. It also means that fighting against a specific group requires a lot more planning and tactical thinking, if they have a team made of different people whose abilities compliment each other.

And that’s about all I have on this subject, at least for the moment. It’s getting late and I have to peel potatoes in the morning.

[hanahinatahana]

I held out as long as I could on watching the last moments. Which turned out to be 2 hours from the series finale lol. Life though, made it a little hard to find the time to put together my post about the show.

Before the finale, I was looking for a few issues to resolved. Each one was wrapped up nicely, if briefly. That being said, there is a lot to love about SWDBS and a lot that makes it worth watching. It features:

Two positive romantic prospects for the leading lady. At the beginning it’s not clear, as usual, who will be the main lead because everything I read about the show was touting both Hyung Shik and Ji Soo as the main. But once the show starts it became pretty obvious who she was going to end up with, but how was the show going to create a clear worthy partner for our leading lady without turning Gook Du into a villian, was my question. I’m happy that everything was resolved for this triangle without making Gook Du pathetic, petty or underhanded. This is the first time, since I learned to either like the lead or leave, that a drama has convinced me that there are two prospects that are worthy of female leads time. I actually teared up a little when Gook Du realized that he had missed out on confessing. Also, the fact that Min Hyuk wasn’t some sort of money hording ass bucket was refreshing.

A healthy female friendship. Bong Soon and Kyung Shim were great together. They partied together, shared secrets with each other, slept  in the same bed and encouraged each other. Not to mention that Bong Soon ends up saving Kyung Shim more than once from harm. I wish there would have been more time for them to do things together throughout the series, but Kyung Shim was always travelling from her town to Bong Soon’s so that they could hang out. It’s sad that it can be hard to list dramas that feature solid relationships between women, but at least this is one of them.

A sweet and patient male lead. Bong Soon had her heart set on Gook Du since high school, but Min Hyuk didn’t let that stop him. He didn’t try to wine and dine Bong Soon in the traditional sense by taking her shopping or to fancy restaurants. Nope, not our guy. He found out her aspirations and did everything he could to help her reach her goals. She wants to fight bad guys? He takes her through different exercises that teach her how to manage her immense strength. She want to create a video game that’s semi autobiographical? He’s the president of a company that makes video games. Even when he lets her into the company he didn’t just hand over the opportunity. He used their closer proximity to get to know Bong Soon better to teach her the skills she would need to create the game she had been dreaming about.

He may have been at times scared or awed by Bong Soon’s strength, but Min Hyuk was never upset or jealous of it. He never needed to put her down in order to make himself feel like a man. Also, their first kiss was late, by current kdrama standards. If this were any other show, I probably would have been upset, but in this case it just made sense for them to wait because Bong Soon wasn’t ready. There are just so many good things about Min Hyuk and it all stems from his patience. We’ve all seen surprise kisses or the terrible forced kiss, both of which are used as a mechanism to shake up the one leads heart and get the other to consider the one that did the kissing. These tricks have been used by both males and females, but I was so happy that it wasn’t used this time. As I’ve said before Min Hyuk wanted Bong Soon, not her capitulation, as if loving him was just the only option left. He waited for her heart and mind to change before he tried engaging her intimately on physical level.

If there is a major flaw with Min Hyuk as a character, it’s that he needs emotional reassurance because of his family background, and it caused some hurt feelings along the way. But I was willing to hop through the computer and take him if Bong Soon said ‘no thanks’ lol

An unexpected criminal to catch. I watched the first original trailer for this drama and I could have sworn it didn’t mention anything about a super creepy creeper that would terrorize the neighborhood. When I looked back at it just a few moments ago, there were little clues there would have a scary masked man doing bad things. *shrug* That just shows you how much I was paying attention when I watched that trailer 2 months ago. But seriously, I was surprised at how crazy the villain was, especially for a lighthearted comedy, but it definitely provided Bong Soon with a reason to go kick ass.

Parents that don’t actively try to break up the main couple. No matter what you thought of the dynamic between Bong Soon’s parents,  there’s no denying that they gave Bong Soon the right to choose which man she would be with, and once she chose, they didn’t give her or Min Hyuk a hard time. The opposite, in Bong Soon’s mother’s case, actually. I do wish we had seen more of Min Hyuk’s family, but I suppose the point was that they really didn’t care about him, and were, therefore, unimportant. However, Min Hyuk’s father did find Bong Soon funny. I was just glad he didn’t give the ‘but we’re rich, you can’t date a middle class girl’ speech.

And of course our strong woman. I skipped out of watching ‘Oh My Ghostess’, so I haven’t seen Bo Young since I watched ‘Werewolf Boy’ with Joong Ki, so I was blown away by how much she’s grown as an actress since then. Our girl had her own theme song, and it seriously get stuck in my head sometimes. I couldn’t help but think of some similarities between Bong Soon and Kim Bok Joo since they are both young and strong, but I liked that that is basically where the similarities ended.

But I digress. Bong Soon is really is like a video game hero. She went through the phase where she tried denying her destiny, but when she couldn’t hold back anymore, she found her sensei (Min Hyuk) and went through extensive training, if extensive is defined by trying to not to make holes in punching bags with your fist lol

I was honestly scared that this drama wouldn’t let Bong Soon face off with the bad guys she encountered, but we never see Bong Soon back down from a confrontation that needs to be resolved. And in the end, she saves the day, gets the guy and turns into a roof hoping hero!

Overall, I loved watching this show. There isn’t one episode that I would drop in order to save time telling the story. I haven’t watched a drama that made me actually literally roll with laughter throughout the entire run of the show since ‘Never Give Up Dodo’. I read that some people didn’t like the side story with the gangsters, but those scenes were just as funny to me as everything else, and kept the promise of comedy alive when things were just too serious for Bong Soon and Min Hyuk. There are so few shows that live up to their comedy genre because at some point life tries to take away your laughter, but I love that this drama didn’t give the laughs away, because no matter how bad things are, there’s ALWAYS another joke to enjoy. I really started watching this series thinking it was going to be cute but nothing special, that I might even only watch a few episodes before finding something else to get into. I’m so happy I was wrong. SWDBS is now on my list of favorites. It’s sad to say goodbye, I don’t know what I’ll watch in order to fill the comedic void. *le sigh* drama addict problems....

Anyway if you made it down to the bottom of this post, through all my rambling, thanks hehe :)

[deadcactuswalking]

‘ZEZE’, The Perfect Trap-Rap Trainwreck. [REVIEW]

2018 has been a pretty odd year for popular music. I mean, it’s been pretty impressive too, tons of records are being broken right now, in fact, the song we’re going to talk about today has broken one of those records (although easily one of the least important ones). I’ll talk more about 2018 as a year overall when I make my best and worst lists (which, no, this song won’t be on either despite who made it), but let’s just focus on this one song, and how perfect it is – despite being freakin’ awful, generic and borderline unlistenable. Let me elaborate.

SONG REVIEW: “ZEZE” – Kodak Black, Travis Scott & Offset – Produced by D.A. Doman

What record did this break, do you ask? Well, with the advent of SoundCloud rap, mumble-rap and emo-rap becoming the new wave, some stranger music has crept onto the charts, whether it be because of its sound or background and/or origin story. Memes have gotten music popular for ages but a 90s Latin reggaeton/house track by the “Chacarron Macarron” guy which translates to “Give me your little thing” becoming a top 40 hit is relatively unheard of – this is especially weird because the remix with Pitbull was released way after the song blew up and then fizzled out. I know Pitbull was always on his way out and he’s basically now a living meme anyway but it’s still a shock to see stars I knew so well fade away like this – oh, yeah, and how does celebrity status and star-power matter even more than it ever has been and none at all at the same time? We’re about to get a Mia Khalifa diss track released in February by two teenagers after a fake tweet was posted by some Instagram page on the charts simply because of the power of some girl in cosplay lip-synching to the second (and more meme-able) verse on TikTok.

Hit or miss - I guess they never miss, huh? – Smoke Hijabi, iLOVEFRiDAY’s “Mia Khalifa Diss”

Yet we still can’t get rid of that pesky Drake rascal, hell, he nearly hit #1 again, this time entirely uncredited!

I did half a Xan, 13 hours ‘til I land / Had me out like a light, ayy, yeah – Drake, Travis Scott’s “SICKO MODE”

Last year we had the shortest song to reach the top 5 since the early 1960s, with “Gucci Gang” by Lil Pump, peaking at #3 despite a puny runtime of a mere 2 minutes and 4 seconds. Today, we’re talking about a song that peaked just one slot higher, and became the highest-charting song EVER on the Hot 100 that starts with the letter “z”. Yes, it’s an odd, unimportant and pointless milestone but it’s something nonetheless. Oh, but that’s far from the most interesting part of this song. Let’s talk about the production first, mostly because any time I can stall before talking about Kodak Black should be savoured greatly. It was produced by D.A. Doman, most known nowadays for that “Taste” song by Tyga, in fact, Tyga even remixed “ZEZE” because the beats were so similar, and there’s only one beat Tyga ever does all that well on – and it’s tropical synth-lead trap. The bass on “Taste” was mixed well, though. I feel like there’s too little here and it could do with some pumping up, although it does give the steel pans a very airy feel, to be fair, and those little tiny details like that funky synth that just kind of appears briefly as a speck in Kodak’s refrain are just really top-notch, and that catchy and clean vocal sample playing throughout the song pushes this beat into truly great territory. Hell, the beat was so good that it made the song a meme months before its release, where people added a caption to Kodak and Travis dancing very... interestingly to the song. There was also a teaser where it was just 40 seconds of the beat building up with people saying “f**k ‘em up, Kodak” in the background, and someone was dancing there too. I don’t know, all I know is that this beat is fantastic and... everyone’s gonna mess this up, aren’t they?

Well, Travis doesn’t, really, he’s just odd. After like 5 seconds of the beat without any percussion or bass, just the steel pans and basically no build-up excluding Doman’s producer tag, the catchy “D.A got that dope!” phrase, it goes straight into the beat, bass and all, as well as Travis’ vocals which have like twenty layers each of some gross autotune and reverb effects. Seriously, it’s slathered to hell and back with vocal manipulation and it’s really unpleasant, especially when it’s drowned in all these ad-libs. Let’s focus on the lyrics of Travis’ hook, though, because they’re really cute. It plays out as, to say it bluntly, “Baby’s First Rap Chorus”. All the clichés are there, but in their purest form.

Ice water, turned Atlantic (freeze!) / Nightcrawlin’ in the Phantom (skrrt, skrrt) / Told them hoes that don’t you panic

His wrist is froze because of his diamonds. He has a black luxury car, he’s lazily referencing his other, much better songs, and he has to add in those essential “skrrt, skrrt” ad-libs. Oh, well, at least there are attempts at being unique here, with the last line, especially since we can assume they’re in water here, so Travis desperately reassures the countless amount of women he is having sex with, “Don’t worry, it’s a Phantom! We’re not going to drown to our deaths!” And then he goes, “screw it”, and starts actually adjusting the Phantom so they have more space, thus his “hoes” do not die, depriving him of pleasure and satisfaction.

Dropped the roof, more expansion / Drive a coupe you can stand in (IT’S LIT!)

You know what, that’s a good idea, but, yeah, I’m kidding, it’s not that deep – it’s just that he’s driving fast. Of course it isn’t anything all too conceptual.

Took an island (yeah), flood the mansion (big water!)

Sorry, what was that last part?

(Big water!)

Big water? I mean, I know the line is about how he took a lot of producers and rappers to his ASTROWORLD sessions on a Hawaiian island or something, but is “big water” seriously something people say? It just seems so dumb and kind of childish. In fact, while we’re on the subject...

B****es undercover (in the sheets!) / I’m an a** and tiddy lover (big a**) / Guess we all made for each other

Rappers never really brag about taking time to appreciate the woman’s body whilst “in the sheets” but you know what, sure, I’ll take that, but the second line just potentially demonstrates the naivety of this chorus, like, it’s just pure rap cliché but in such a way that makes it seem like Travis is a robot that has been analysing rap lyrics and programming a very blunt and obvious bar that exemplifies that. Oh, and the last part is just a dumb filler rhyme, although it’s kind of funny to think about how it must be up to destiny that Travis’ girl has a big butt and he likes big butts.

Now that all the dawgs free (yeah, yeah) / And we out in these streets (alright) / Can you do it, can you pop it for me?

The robot theory is developed even further when we notice these two statements are entirely unrelated. My friends are free from prison, but we’re still in the streets, therefore, pop that kitty for me, girl. This is how the chorus ends too, it’s so anti-climactic, although I do want to point out that Offset more than makes up for Travis’ strange twisting of lyrical cliché, as his verse is pretty fantastic. The flow is great throughout, with some nice switches that keep the surprisingly long verse still feeling fresh and short by the end.

She an addict (addict)

Please don’t rhyme it with—

Addict for the lifestyle and the Patek (Patek), big daddy

Son of a—

Anyways, there are plenty of relatively memorable lines here that end up being pretty quotable, such as... UK football references?

In the middle of the field like David Beckham (field, bow-bow!!)

Oh, and they kind of explain what “ZEZE” means – it means “zombie”, a slang term for, of course, lean... because it’s 2018.

Pop pills, do what you feel, I’m on that zombie (hey, hoo!) / I’m more like Gaddafi, I’m not no Gandhi (Gaddafi, hey)

Oh, um, some of these lines come off as kind of rapey though, which is not the greatest tone to go for when you have a song with Kodak Black, to say the least.

I go in her mouth, she can’t tell me nothin’ (ugh, ugh, ugh)

Oh, and I guess it’s finally time to talk about the alleged rapist elephant in the room.

On my Kodak, woo, Black, ooh, know that – Childish Gambino, “This is America”

I’m not going to bring up his allegations anymore because frankly they’re completely irrelevant to his performance here, and all he actually adds to this review is proof for my conclusion: this song has so much good qualities, but they paint them in the grossest green colour possible. Each one of these guys just ruin the gifts they’re provided with. In fact, the beat changes for Kodak so he doesn’t sound as offbeat as usual, and, of course, it doesn’t work at all, he still sounds pretty terrible as always, but still, D.A. Doman switches up the beat slightly (which was near perfect as it was) to accommodate for the talentless and directionless ramblings of Mr. Kodak Black.

Pull up in a Demon, on God (on God) / Looking like I still do fraud (fraud) / Flyin’ private jet with the rod (rod) / This that Z-s**t, this that Z-s**t (this that Z-s**t)

Kodak is so unlikeable here. He sounds like he was on a news interview, with a noticeable Southern drawl, that went viral enough in 2011 to get an autotuned Songify This remix. Honestly, it sounds that painful of a vocal, and without the Gregory Brothers’ pretty great production and knack for melody, this is just a strain on both Kodak’s voice and my ear-drums.

I got the fire on me in BET Awards

I’m less surprised that you have a gun rather just that you’re allowed in the BET Awards.

In a Hellcat cos I’m a hell-raiser

Man, this song is robotically programmed, I swear! There’s no attempt at portraying any unique lyrical characteristics, personality or even a single attempt at interesting wordplay, rather we get a catchier version of Kodak’s typical topics, just in an even more boring flow this time, and delivered like he’s on pain medication... which is probably what they’re going for here. What a waste of a fantastic, beautifully-produced instrumental, one of the most diverse and unique trap-rappers out there in the form of Travis Scott, who is relegated to his awfully-written hook duty, and what a waste of that amazing Offset verse. Seriously, Offset, kick Kodak off, switch him for another awful human being, Tyga, and save this song (including Travis’ admittedly fun, albeit silly, hook) for your upcoming solo album. I can’t let Kodak Black own this song, it’s too good for him in concept. What a perfect trainwreck. Everything is given to them completely prepared and in good condition, and then they just trash it. This song is when you get something valuable or useful for a damn good price and your dog eats it within five minutes of you opening it.

Hit that Z-walk, Dickies with my Reeboks

Oh, come on, Kodak, I know I don’t like your song but you didn’t have to give me Vietnam flashbacks of Lil Dicky. That’s just not cool. See ya on Thursday, everyone. Peace.