#it's envy linked to being poor

[waluijoe]

in other other news i wish i could be as fkcing sweet&cool as jhope and it lowkey bothers me that i’m not yet

[ham-st4r]

𝑨𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒍𝒔 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 - 𝑳. 𝑯𝒆𝒆𝒔𝒆𝒖𝒏𝒈

𓆩♡𓆪pairing: heeseung + female reader!

𓆩♡𓆪warnings: smut, unprotected sex, oral male receiving, cum eating, amazon position, angst, fluff, heartbreak, break up, crying, cursing, sub heeseung! Jake playing match maker, heeseung is a big momma’s boy and a lil jungkook slander cause why not? lol I think that’s it.

𓆩♡𓆪summary: with your reputation of being a heartbreaker and a player, you find yourself finally breaking away from the terrible title after years, but what happens when the lonely nerd at your school catches your eye? Will he be your next unsuspecting victim, or will he be your last stop?

𓆩♡𓆪genre: smut, mature content read at your discretion, romance, tear jerker, inspired by Miley Cyrus - angels like you.

Number of words: 18,811k

Find your way around!

Message at the end contains spoilers, so please read the story before proceeding to the end.

“Okay, hear me out,” you say to your best friend Jake, whose currently sitting in front of you, stuffing his face with the god-awful food they serve in the cafeteria.

“NO,” he says after taking a drink of his water.

“But -“

“I said NO,” Jake repeated and gave you a look, one that said (Don’t start your bullshit again.)

It had been a while since your last victim, and since then, you swore that you were done with your old ways of being a heartbreaker. You even promised Jake you wouldn’t do it anymore cause you knew how much time you two spent apart whenever you went on one of your man-eating sprees, and you knew just how much he hated it.

But how could you resist the temptation of the boy sitting in the corner sipping on his apple juice while looking out the window?

You had your eye on him for a while now, but you never told Jake that, of course, and as much as you tried not to, you just couldn’t help but be attracted to the boy.

Only visually, of course. You haven’t been seriously interested in anyone since your ex.

Said attraction was named lee heeseung, and he fit your criteria perfectly from head to toe.

You watched his big round curious eyes, looking at all the friend groups throughout the cafeteria. After a while of envying them, he looked down and played with his fingers sighing to himself.

He looked so lonely sitting there all by himself, so why not give him some company?

Without saying anything, you stood up from your chair walking over to his table.

“If you talk to him, we’re done being friends,” Jake threatens you, but you know it’s all talk, and he’d be up texting you late at night like he always did, talking about his latest developments with his crush.

You just ignored him and continued to walk towards the wide-eyed confused-looking gentleman in the corner of the cafeteria. You pulled out an empty chair and sat next to him as he scooted further into the corner. “Hi, I’m y/n,” you say in the softest voice you could possibly muster.

He sat there frozen. You noticed his chest rising and falling rapidly and the nervous tapping of his foot as he looked around the cafeteria, wondering why, out of all the free seats, you decided to sit with him.

No one had ever sat with him before, not even in preschool. He was an outcast everywhere he went. He was like a walking people repellent.

So why, out of all the years of him seemingly being the world's most hated person, you decided to break that cycle by sitting next to him?

Before he got too lost in thought more than he already was, he certainly recognized your face, and it didn’t take long for him to connect the dots with you and your very, very poor reputation, and he didn’t want to be linked to a person like you at all.

He quickly got up from his seat, nearly knocking it over in the process while running out from the cafeteria, leaving you somewhat surprised but not really. You figured he probably knew what you were about from all the rumors people spread about you that all happened to be true, but you didn’t care, and neither did all the other unsuspecting boys you hooked up with cared well, until you broke their hearts, but this one seemed a little different.

You glanced over to your friend, and you couldn’t help but smile when you saw him laughing hysterically at your failure. You walked back over to Jake, sitting in your original seat. “Finally, someone that doesn’t want you.”

“Oh, he does. Just give me some time,” you replied, taking his apple from his tray, and he didn’t even bother stopping you from your daily routine.

“That confidence would be admirable, but right now, it’s just revolting,” he fake gagged. Hearing this from him didn’t surprise you one bit. In your many years of friendship, Jake always told you the truth, one of the many reasons you two became such good friends, and he was the only one that saw through all your bullshit, including how you did a complete 180 after your first relationship had ended.

Which ended bad, hell, bad was an understatement.

Jake remembers seeing you at your lowest point, crying your heart out cause the man you thought loved you had broken up with you for the “new popular girl” and told you he was only ever into you for your looks.

Of course, that made you feel like shit. It made you feel like you were just a piece of eye candy, and you never meant anything to him, and you’d never mean anything to anyone else, either.

It was hard not to believe that wasn’t the truth when you did everything for him, yet he still broke up with you.

So from then on, you decided to use the one thing your ex told you you did have, which was your looks. You used it to your sick advantage picking, unsuspecting men to lay with and ditch them in the morning ever since your ex-boyfriend you swore off relationships and decided from here on out you were going to make it your goal to break the hearts of many men making all the guys out there suffer because of what your boyfriend did to you.

All men were the same anyway, no different from your ex, and before they broke your heart, you’d break theirs just for revenge and maybe a sprinkle of your own enjoyment.

Jake was literally the only guy you got close to cause he was your childhood friend, but any other guys were ripe for your picking.

“Thanks, Jake,” your voice was laced with sarcasm as you bit into your (his) apple.

So the first attempt was a complete fail, you admit, but that didn’t stop you from making several.

The school halls had emptied out, and you knew heeseung was always last to leave to avoid the crowd being the awkward boy he was. You noticed this cause you always did the same exact thing, which you were mentally patting yourself on the back for cause it gave you this golden opportunity to stalk your prey.

He was humming a familiar tune while you silently watched him placing his books inside his locker until you made him jump in his place at the startling sound of your voice. “Hey”

He quickly turned around, gasping in shock at how close you were, which resulted in him accidentally dropping all his books to the ground.

You were quick to pick them up, and so was he. He bent down with you as you helped him pick them up one by one, you giggled when you spotted a romance novel amongst many other books. He silently prayed you wouldn’t see it, but he knew that was impossible cause it was on top of the other books you had neatly stacked and handed to him after rising to his shoulder level.

He hugged the books to his chest, pushing up the bridge of his glasses and awkwardly thanking you for helping him even though you were the cause of the accident.

He tried to walk past you, completely forgetting about putting his books away and shutting his locker door, but you stood in front of him, blocking his path.

A shaky sigh passed his lips as he looked down at you.

You always knew he was a cutie, but you had never seen him this close. He looked breath taking, and you couldn’t help but notice the adorable dangly earrings he was wearing. “What are you doing after school?” You asked, smiling up at him.

He faltered a bit from the queasy feeling he felt rising in the pit of his stomach. He didn’t want to say something stupid to you or embarrass himself, so he kept his answer short and to the point. “Study,” a cold tone accompanied the word, and his eyes widened in panic. He didn’t intend for it to come out sounding so rude.

Leave it to him to make a fool of himself with just one word. He was just trying to sound confident, but obviously, he failed. “I usually study for an hour when I get home,” he added softly, hoping you’d understand that he wasn’t trying to sound mean in the first place.

“Same,” you replied, contrary to the rumors of you not paying attention in class. You were actually quite smart, and you loved to learn. You just didn’t listen to your stupid boring teacher and his dumb way of teaching. If it wasn’t for getting a degree, you would have never even attended school.

“Really?!” He asked enthusiastically, surprising himself and you, but when it came to studying and school, it didn’t take much to get him excited.

You nodded with a small smile.

He looked down slightly. He didn’t know what else to say now to keep the conversation going, if you even wanted to call it that.

Unfortunately, this had always been a big problem for him. He was happy to answer any questions, which is probably the reason he’s always the first one raising his hand in class, confidently stating the answer and going into way more detail than he needed to, which pleased all his teachers but not the other students that were groaning in boredom every time he did so.

But right now, for the first time in his life, he was actually happy to have been at a loss for words cause he realized that, in all actuality, he shouldn’t be getting close to someone like you, so with a tiny shake of his head he turned back to his locker and placed his books inside before locking it he was about to walk away, but you stopped him once again, and he let out a little panicked squeak.

“Maybe we could study together sometime?” you innocently tilted your head to the side, waiting for his response to your offer.

He gulped as his eyes trailed down to your lips, that held a tiny smile. He couldn’t lie.

The offer sounded great. Who wouldn’t want to be accompanied by someone while doing their most favorite thing in the world and on top of that, you were so so pretty, and that’s what made him realize you were far too pretty for him, to put it simply, he was a loser so why would a smart, beautiful girl like you even give him the time of day and him being the smart boy he is instantly formulated the correct answer.

He heard all about you, knowing that any guy you talked to only ended up with a shattered heart and broken ego, and he was smart enough not to be like the rest, so he politely declined your offer once more. “I don’t think we should” his whole body shook with nerves. This was the first time he ever really stood his ground on something.

You fake pouted, trying to use your looks to make him give in, but you could tell he wasn’t going to, at least not yet. “Why?” You said in a sad tone.

He hated how weak his knees felt at the cute expression your face held, but he knew it was all just bait, and he wasn’t about to take it. “I’m just really busy so…” he trailed off as the air surrounding you both began to feel stuffy.

“So you can’t make time for me?” You ghosted your finger up his necktie, looking at him with puppy eyes.

His eyes darted to your fingers playing with his tie, and by now, he was sweaty due to how nervous you were making him. The last time he talked to a girl this long was the lunch date he took his mom out on last week.

He used every muscle in his body to pull himself out of this trance you had him in and moved his tie away from you. “P-please just let me by,” he stuttered helplessly, staring down at you with an uneasy expression on his face.

You moved aside and decided to let him go for now. You didn’t want to scare him off. You knew he’d come around sooner or later, but you figured with him, it’d most definitely be later.

“So, how about you?” You and Jake sat at the park bench. He had just finished telling you the details of how he scored a date with his crush next Friday, and you were happy for him. He’d been eyeing her for quite some time now, and you were happy that she reciprocated his feelings. “How’s it coming along?” He was currently asking you about your latest mission.

“He’s playing hard to get,” you scoffed and folded your arms.

“Or maybe he just doesn’t want to be got,” Jake says. “Everyone knows how you are.”

“He’s a nerd with zero friends, probably is a virgin, and literally has conversations with himself about astronomy stutters, and to top it all off, he keeps romantic novels in his fucking locker,” you deadpan. “He definitely wants to get got.”

“Ouch, imagine how he’d feel if he heard that” Jake empathized with the boy who he had never even spoken to a day of his life.

“He’d probably tell his mom and cry about it. That’s how much of a fucking loser he is,” you say with absolutely zero emotion.

You didn’t notice the concern written on your friend's face. This definitely wasn’t the y/n he knew back then. You never cursed, let alone made fun of people for being slightly different than others. Sometimes Jake would question his friendship with you after everything that happened with your ex, and so would others. He’d get weird stares from the whole school just by being seen with you, but that's not why he questioned it.

He questioned it for who you’ve become. He wonders how he even stayed beside you this whole time, especially after you cut him off for a whole year and then came back as an emotionless man-eater.

But he soon figured out why he stuck around. He knows deep down you’re still that sweet innocent person he met in grade school. He knows you’re still the y/n he became best friends with. He just hopes one day you’ll see your worth and not let that bastard of an ex-boyfriend still control you even after being out of your life for years.

Jake really had hoped that one of the guys you hooked up with would somehow be the one someone who could repair your broken heart. Of course, he never told you that, but even now, as you made fun of whoever this heeseung guy is, he still had this hope that maybe just maybe, he could sweep you off your feet and save you from this never-ending state of hurt and pure denial that you were in every since your ex broke up with you.

You were too lost in thought you didn’t even notice that Jake had stopped talking to you long ago.

Just then, you saw heeseung walking out of school, fingers clutching onto his backpack as he looked to be heading home for the day. “Gotta run” You left Jake behind and fastened your pace to catch up with your prey.

“Go get ‘em,” Jake sighed and watched you disappear in the distance. "There she goes."

“Hello again,” you chimed after catching up to heeseung.

“H-hi,” he gripped his bag tighter and moved away from you slightly. He didn’t want to be rude, so he greeted you as politely as he could despite his better judgment to just run to the other side of the road.

“Sorry about yesterday” You apologize for your actions towards him even though not an ounce of it was sincere. “And the day before that,” you added with an airy laugh.

He was pleasantly surprised that you were actually apologizing, and it had him rethinking about your personality. Maybe you weren’t as bad as the rumors made you out to be. “It’s okay,” he assured you.

“I guess I can be overbearing at times,” you nodded to yourself.

He felt bad that you felt the need to apologize because of him. You weren’t overbearing. It’s just he didn’t know how to handle you approaching him so suddenly, and he also didn’t know how to communicate that to you either. “You’re good,” he replied in a whisper.

You smiled at that cause you knew you were already making progress. “I think I maybe know why you’re hesitant to,” you said slowly, referring to him not wanting to study with you. “You’ve heard things.”

He was quick to stop you from your assumption, even if it was true. He didn’t want to make you feel bad about it. It was your life, and you were old enough to make your decisions and own up to your actions. “It’s not that.” He quickly denied.

You laughed quietly. “No, I get it. I wouldn’t want to be seen with me either, but I’m not all bad.”

He figured you couldn’t be, not with such an innocent smile. He heard the rumors, but it couldn’t be that bad, could it? Plus, he’d keep his guard up. It was only studying what could go wrong. And it would be nice to finally have some company every now and then and end this drought of being alone all his life. “What time?” He asked suddenly.

You were shocked that he was already letting his guard down so easily after putting up such a fight in the beginning. “You pick” You smiled brightly at him, and he awkwardly returned it.

“Maybe tomorrow after school. I know you and your friend hang out all the time, so I don’t want to interrupt” At some point during the walk home, he found himself being able to talk to you a little bit more freely, which was very, very uncharacteristic of him but he couldn’t miss his shot.

Long before you got a boyfriend, heeseung was quite fond of you. He stole quick little glances in your direction. He thought you were absolutely breathtaking, and he wanted to talk to you so badly he remembers many times he was so close to just saying you only live once and introducing himself to you.

But before he grew the balls to do so, you apparently had gotten a boyfriend, and he completely backed off. He didn’t want to disrespect you or your relationship, so he gave up on the idea of getting to know you entirely and judging by the way your new boyfriend looked, heeseung figured he never had a chance with you to begin with he was basically the opposite of your boyfriend in every way.

But one day, he overheard talk about your sudden breakup, and that only made him think about making a move on you again, but a new turn of events happened and a few months later, he heard some pretty harsh rumors circulating about you. Word got around his school like wildfire, and just like before, he was going in your opposite direction, knowing he shouldn’t get involved with someone like you, especially with his fragile heart.

But now that he finally got the chance to get to know you a little better and talk to you, he wasn’t going to let this golden opportunity slip away to hell with rumors, and even if you did try to chew him up and spit him out like all the others he was going to be cautious enough for that not to happen to him.

“After school is fine,” you quickly agreed.

“Okay,” he breathed out, and once again, he couldn’t think of anything else to say, but luckily his mom was calling him just in time to avoid the awkward silence that would have ensued. “Sorry,” he apologized to you and laughed awkwardly. You smiled softly while telling him it was alright. “Hi, Mom,” he smiled while taking the call. “Oh, that’s tomorrow?” His smile faded, and he bit his lip at the realization of accidentally making plans without thinking of his schedule first. “Okay…. No, it’s fine, I’ll be home by then… okay, bye, Mom, I love you!” his ears burned from embarrassment after he realized you had been next to him this whole time overhearing his conversation. “I uhh, I actually can’t meet you tomorrow. I promised my mom I’d take her shopping, sorry” he felt slightly guilty for standing you up just a few minutes after making plans, but nothing ever came before his mom.

You discreetly rolled your eyes, so he was the type to go home and cry to his mom. Pathetic, you thought, but you continued to put on your ever-so-convincing show. “No worries. How about Monday?” You say with such an alluring tone, a tone that nearly swept him right off his own two feet.

“Yeah,” he agreed instantly.

“Okay, see you then” You smiled and patted him on his shoulder. He looked at your hand, and you swore you saw him blushing.

“Yeah,” he replied in a daze-like state, still looking at where you had touched him. He’s never been touched by a girl ever, and just the small contact made his stomach do a flip.

“Bye, heeseung,” you waved with a convincing smile.

“Bye, y/n,” he waved back.

Once you turned around, your smile instantly faded. “So gullible,” you said to yourself.

The study date was rolling around, and normally, you probably would have stopped the chase by now and moved on cause he was boring and not worth your time. He was cute, but his personality was vomit-inducing, but as you slowly broke down his walls brick by brick, the anticipation was building, and you knew by the time you finished with him, there’d be nothing left which would give you the ultimate satisfaction.

You didn’t just want to break him. You wanted to bring him to his knees.

Heeseung was as nervous as all get up since he’d be meeting with you today. Even though you chatted briefly throughout the week, he couldn’t seem to calm himself down around you.

“Look at you all dressed up,” heeseung’s mom cooed, watching her son fixing a few loose strands of hair in the living room mirror.

He just blushed and the comment and smiled bashfully.

He didn’t think he was too dressed up, but he’d be lying if he said he didn’t try a little harder than usual on his appearance. After all, today was the day he’d be studying with his crush.

His mom came closer and fixed the loose knot on his tie, getting a strong whiff of his father's cologne and smiling at his blushing face. “Who is she?” She said teasingly.

He pushed up the bridge of his glasses. There was no point in denying it. His mom could always see right through him anyway. “Her name is y/n. She's from one of my classes,” he explains nervously, fidgeting with his fingers.

His mom nods in understanding and doesn’t ask too many questions. She knew it’d only make him even more fidgety. “Don’t be nervous, pumpkin. I’m sure she’ll be happy to see you,” she reassures him kissing his cheek and sending him off with his lunchbox and his favorite apple juice.

“Thanks, Mom. I’ll see you later” he smiled and headed off to school.

Today is the day you thought.

Your place of business was at the school library, where your target unsuspectingly sat in the corner reading a huge textbook with his round frames perched atop his pointy nose.

You approached him slowly, and he noticed you in the corner of his eye. He quickly stood up once he noticed your presence and pulled out the chair next to him, gesturing for you to take a seat. “Hi, y/n,” he mustered up the courage to greet you first after you sat down.

“Hey, heeseung,” you said his name sweetly, and you could definitely see the blush on his face. You couldn’t help but wonder how just, within a few days, he had gotten more comfortable and completely let his guard down while he was around you.

Truth be told, after your apology for your earlier interactions with him, he felt a little more comfortable around you and figured people just liked to exaggerate when it came to spreading misinformation about you.

So far, from what he could see, none of those rumors had even been true, and you were a perfectly nice person.

“So what w-would you like to start off with?” He cleared his throat and lowered his head, feeling ashamed that he could barely even talk to you without stuttering.

“How about your favorite subject?” as soon as the words left your lips, he smiled brightly, maybe even a little too brightly.

“I’m so glad you asked!” He giddily rummaged through his bag, taking out loads of books and showing them to you excitedly, one by one, reading each of the titles to you out loud.

You smiled faintly. You’ve never seen someone so excited to study, not even Jake.

This was going to be interesting.

Three whole hours passed by, and to your surprise, you were actually having a really nice time. He patiently explained the things to you that you didn’t understand. His voice was soft and delicate as he took his own sweet time reading through paragraph after paragraph with perfect punctuation.

“Have you ever thought about being a teacher?” You asked genuinely curious cause he was scarily good at it. You learned more in these three hours with him than you had in all your other classes combined.

He blushed slightly and looked up at you. “M-me?” He pointed his index finger to his chest, and you nodded softly. “No, no, I could never,” he chuckled and shrunk back in his seat.

“Why’s that? You’re literally better than all my teachers, especially Jeon Jung, stupid kook” You rolled your eyes, causing heeseung to chuckle.

“He’s my least favorite too. He has such an odd way of explaining things. He makes everything more complicated than it really is,” you laughed along with him.

He looked at you, getting distracted by your pretty smile before he cleared his throat and answered your original question. “I don’t know. I just don’t think I could be. I’m sure, as you can see, not a lot of people like me, so…” he looked away from you, and you took note of the sadness in his eyes.

Instead of comforting him, you took his act of vulnerability and used it to your advantage. If this was years ago, you would have never even thought about doing something so evil but the new you didn’t care. “I like you” You put your hand on his thigh and rubbed it softly.

His breath hitched at your movement, and he looked down at your hand, swallowing thickly. “Y-you do?” He questioned, his tone slightly higher than before.

“How wouldn’t I?” you leaned into him closer, so close that your thigh was touching his, as you whispered to him. “You’re smart. You’re tall and handsome” You looked into his eyes and inched your hand up his thigh higher, dangerously high to be in such a public setting.

He looked at your eyes with his glazed-over ones completely transfixed by you. “You really think so?” You could smell the faint mint on his breath. That’s just how close you had gotten to him.

His eyes flickered to your lips as you reduced the space between the both of you to just a tiny little gap.

“I know so, who wouldn’t want someone as perfect as you?” You could tell he wanted to kiss you from the desperate look in his eyes. As he looked down at your inviting lips, you ghosted your lips over his, and he flinched from the contact.

To say he was nervous would be an understatement he could feel his entire body shaking as he clutched onto the side of his chair, squeezing it for dear life as he tried to press his lip’s against yours, only his glasses somehow slid down his nose at some point and got in the way slightly bumping your nose before your lips could fully meet. “S-sorry,” he quickly apologized with a tiny voice, heart nearly flying out from his rib cage, and as if things couldn’t get any worse, he hiccupped out of nowhere and startled you slightly. “Oh god, sorry, I’m so sorry” his eyes widened in fear as he looked down and held his head in his hands, completely horrified by what just happened. He had finally gotten his chance with you after all these years, and within seconds, he had just ruined it.

You unknowingly smile at his antics. It wasn’t that serious, but he was acting like it was the end of the world, you were thoroughly enjoying how nervous you were making him.

“I’m such an idiot,” he mumbled and started gathering his things, getting ready to leave. “I should go. I’m really sorry” You held his wrist and stopped him from getting up.

“Wait, would you like to try again?” You asked softly. You don’t know why, but you kinda felt bad, and you didn’t want him to go home and be embarrassed over something that there was nothing to even be embarrassed about.

“You w-want to? With me?” He had no idea how you could still even want anything to do with him after that public display of embarrassment.

“Of course, you silly. Who else?” You smiled while taking his glasses off and putting your hand behind his neck, bringing his face closer so you could kiss him properly this time.

He was timid about it at first, but he soon closed his eyes and firmly pressed his lip’s against yours for about three seconds. He leaned back and searched your face for any reaction.

You fluttered your eyes open, smiling at him, and that’s all it took to calm some of his nerves. He closed his eyes and did it again, surprising you with his slight assertiveness, but you gladly accepted his kiss and tugged softly on his hair. He breathed through his mouth, silently inviting you inside. He moaned into your mouth when he felt your tongue swirling around his, and maybe he wasn’t a virgin like you had initially thought cause he was a really good kisser.

He, unfortunately, broke the kiss first, but he had to. He was getting too overwhelmed by the taste of your sweet lips, and if he wasn’t careful enough, then he would have gotten fully hard in the school library. If that happened, he’d never be able to live it down. “Was that good?” He asked, looking at you with wide eyes, curiously waiting for your approval.

You didn’t even answer. You went back in for another kiss squeezing his thigh, and he moaned softly. “Is this okay?” You asked with your lips still on his, inching your hand higher and higher to the tent in his pants.

“Uhh,” he backed away slightly, and you figured you were a bit too eager, so you pulled back some.

“It’s okay. We don’t have to” You lowered your hand, but he quickly grabbed it and placed it over his bulge, groaning when you added slight pressure to the hyper-sensitive area.

“I want to,” he whispers. He knew full well it was way too soon to be engaging in such acts with you, but what could he say? He’s a twenty-one-year-old virgin with hormones that he can’t control.

You were surprised by how hard he was just from kissing you. You continued to palm over his clothed cock, and even through the thick material of his jeans, you could feel that he was big.

You started to have second thoughts about this. You didn’t want this to happen in public, let alone at the school you attended with him nearly every day. You were low, but this would be an all-time low even for you.

You removed your hand from between his legs, but he grabbed your wrist and placed your hand back over his crotch, only for you to move it again. “Why?” He whined.

“Not here, baby. Wanna come to my place?” You rushed out, the make-out session had you quite worked up as well, but in your defense, it had been a while since your last time.

“Yeah, I wanna,” He replied excitedly, packing up the rest of his stuff as quickly as possible.

You led the way to your apartment, impatiently fidgeting with your keys at the door.

You practically dragged him inside and took him to your bedroom right away. You pushed him back on your bed before he could even register what was happening.

He gasped in pure shock as he watched you quickly getting undressed. His eyes were glued to your body until you unclipped your bra, he hastily covered his eyes before he saw anything.

You giggled at his reaction and walked towards him to move his hands away from his face. The poor baby had gotten so red at just the mere sight of your bare tits, and you’re not sure how he’s gonna be able to handle you with nothing on. “You like?” You asked teasingly, he bit his lip while nodding his head, now shamelessly staring at your boobs and smiling like a complete dork.

You guided his hands to your breast so he could fondle them. He nervously cupped them in his large hands, squeezing on the soft flesh, you sighed in pleasure at the feeling of his warm palms rubbing all over your chest. “Further on the bed for me,” you instructed him after a few minutes while you worked on taking your bottoms off.

He did as you told him and rested his back against your headboard.

Even though he lacked experience, he didn’t need to be told what to do in a moment like this. Admittedly he had watched enough sex scenes in his life to know.

But still, that didn’t stop him from being a total nervous wreck.

He undressed himself along with you, whimpering softly when the material of his boxers brushed against his shaft. His cock rested on his tummy as pre cum pooled at the tip.

He sighed in relief after freeing himself from the tight restrictive material.

You finished taking your clothes off and when you looked up and saw him fully naked, lying down on your bed, you nearly drooled at the sight of his massive size.

Once he saw you staring a little too long, he shrunk back and slowly covered himself with his discarded boxers. He knew you’d probably been with other guys and that you were more than likely comparing his size to the men you were with before, which deflated whatever little self-esteem he had.

Insecurities and jealousy made its way into his system, and he was starting to rethink all of this.

You, on the other hand, were not rethinking anything at all, especially when you saw how good he looked, all laid out and ready for you. You couldn’t wait to feel him inside you cause you just knew he’d fill you up so well.

He tried to cover up, but you didn’t miss the way his cock twitched under his boxers, and you slowly peeled the material back so you could get a better look at his huge cock while you straddled his waist. “You’re so hard,” you whisper in amazement, running your fingers over his thick veiny shaft.

He shuddered from your touch, and he felt like he could pass out just from the overwhelming feeling of you sitting on top of him. He looked down between his legs, and you were not wrong. He was so hard that his tip was a deep red, and it was almost starting to feel painful from being like this for so long.

He blushed slightly from your comment, and his dick twitched again. You smiled and took him inside your palm, wrapping your fingers around his cock and jerking him off slowly. “Mmmh,” he moans, gripping at your bedsheets while tilting his head back in pleasure.

You giggle at his reaction and continue to pump his length. “Y/n, wait” he quickly gripped your wrist, stopping you from moving. “Please tell me you’re not just playing with me,” he breathed out, and he prayed that you wouldn’t get upset at his insinuation, but he just needed to know that you actually wanted him and this wasn’t all just a game for you.

“I’m not playing with you, baby,” you said emotionlessly as you lined yourself up with his tip, and just when you were about to sink down on him, his stupid phone rang.

“Oh no,” he looked at you with fear in his eyes as he realized he had lost track of time. He was supposed to be home at least an hour ago.

“Just forget it” You kissed his cheek.

“I can’t. I’m sorry, it’s my mom” he looked at you apologetically.

You leaned back and sighed, letting him take his stupid phone call.

He reached over to his pants pocket and pulled out his phone. “Hi, Mom!” he chirped.

You trailed kisses on his neck, and you could hear his moms' voice asking what time he’d be home. You smirked against his skin, wondering what his mom would think, knowing that you had her precious son lying under you in your bed minutes away from defiling him.

He squirmed as you were kissing him, trying his hardest not to make any suspicious sounds while he was on his phone.

“Are you still with y/n?” You stopped kissing him and froze at the mention of your name.

You couldn’t believe he told his mom about you.

He was thankful you had stopped kissing him cause now he could answer his mom properly. He took a deep breath to compose himself before he replied.

“Y-yeah, I’m sorry, Mom. I guess I just lost track of time. I’ll be home soon,” he informed her while trying to calm his beating heart, hoping he wasn’t in too much trouble for being out so late.

“Oh no, dear, it’s fine. It’s already so late. Maybe she’ll let you spend the night” By now, you were full-on listening to the conversation, and you nodded your head right away, letting him know he could spend the night.

His face lit up, and he looked genuinely happy. You zoned out the rest of the conversation while he was talking with his mom, and you were starting to have second thoughts about all of this. His mom literally trusted you enough with him to spend the night, and here you were just seconds away from crushing him, but you shook off those ridiculous thoughts. You were so close to completing your mission you couldn’t stop now.

He shyly thanked you for letting him stay the night after he ended the call. “My pleasure,” you say as you lean down to kiss his neck, licking and sucking under his earlobe earning whimpers from the trembling boy under you.

You noticed he was just kinda laying there, and when you looked up, you saw the hesitation in his eyes. “You can touch me. I don’t mind” You guided his hands to your waist, and he lightly rested them on your hips. You chuckled slightly. This was definitely a first for you. Normally, the guys you were with made the first move but with him, it was the complete opposite, and you couldn’t lie. You kinda liked it better this way. “Sweetheart, you’re not going to hurt me” You moved your hands from his pecs to cup his cheeks and peck him on the lips softly.

He laughed and loosened up a tiny bit, trailing his shaky hands up and down your curvy waist. “Okay, not gonna hurt you,” he told himself as he breathed out, looking everywhere except your chest, that was literally inches from his face.

You definitely knew there was something else that was making him hesitant, and it didn’t take long to figure out what it was.

“Is this your first time?” You asked cautiously, running your fingers through his hair to get him to relax a little.

“Yes,” he whispered as his eyes fluttered shut. Just when he thought you’d kick him out or make fun of him, you said something that made his heart feel at ease. “We’ll take it slow. I promise” You rubbed his cheek with the pad of your thumb. “If you ever want to stop, just grab my hand, okay?”

You waited a few more seconds, and he opened his eyes, nodding softly. “Okay”

You kissed his forehead and sat on top of him properly this time. He moaned out loud when he felt your core throbbing on top of his dick.

He squeezed your hips, whimpering softly as your slick coated his shaft.

You peppered his face with kisses giving him some more time to get used to the feeling before you started moving back and forth on him slowly. “Y/n… I don’t know” he closed his eyes tightly, trying to compose himself and settle his erratic heartbeat. “I don’t know if I can d-do this” Everything felt so sensitive and foreign, and it was all starting to become too overwhelming for him.

“Shh, sweetheart, I know you can just relax,” you reassured him while rolling your hips and feeling his thick length slipping through your wet slippery folds.

There wasn’t a word to describe what he was feeling right now. Everything was just too much. His heart was pounding in his chest, his body was trembling with anticipation, and all he could focus on was how beautiful you looked sitting on top of him. “You’re so beautiful” he looked at you with a shy smile as he sighed softly and nuzzled his face into your touch.

You felt something you haven’t felt in forever. For the first time in years, you were feeling butterflies from his simple words of endearment.

You ignored it, though. You just chalked it up to nerves since you hadn’t been with someone for a while. “Are you ready for me?” You asked quietly.

He just nodded, but you needed verbal confirmation, you were evil, but the last thing you wanted to do was pressure him into something he didn’t want to do. “Yes,” he whispered.

You didn’t want to just rush into it for his first time, but the ache between your legs was unbearable. You had never been this wet and impatient before.

You grabbed his length, aligning it with your entrance. You lifted yourself up slightly and sunk down on him with a little less ease than you had initially expected due to his sheer width.

He moaned as soon as his tip went in. He couldn’t control it. You felt so warm and tight around him. “Y/n I- you- oh god,” he whimpers in pleasure while looking up at you with his blown pupils. “It feels s-so good,” he panted.

“I know. Feels so good for me, too, sweetheart” he held your thighs for support as you slowly rocked your hips. “You’re so big, heeseung.” You moan his name lewdly.

“T-thank you” he blushed at your comment, his neck and chest turning a bright shade of red from your compliment.

You leaned back, putting your palms onto his thighs to hold yourself up while grinding on his cock. You moaned from the feeling of his tip reaching so deep inside you. Your head was already spinning from the overwhelming sensation you’d never felt anyone as deep as you felt him.

The sight in front of him was magical. Your body was literally perfect to him. The way your tits bounced up and down while you threw your head back, moaning his name in pleasure as you rode him, was utterly mesmerizing.

Don’t get him wrong, he was loving every last little bit of this, but he felt as if something was missing. He just couldn’t place his finger on it.

You noticed how he was less vocal than before, and you sat up from your position sitting on top of him once again. “You okay?” He just nodded his head slightly, but you could tell something was off about his behavior. He was very expressive, so he wasn’t a hard guy to read. “Just tell me, baby, it’s okay, I promise” You don’t even know why but ever since you found out he was a virgin, you felt this odd sense of responsibility to take care of him and make his first time memorable.

“I want to kiss you, but you’re too far away,” he mumbled with a pout on his face.

Adora- never mind.

You nodded and lifted yourself off of him gently so you could switch to a position that might be more comfortable for him. “Lay down” he laid flat on his back, resting his head on your pillows, giving you a quizzical look while doing so.

You lay between his legs and held onto his thighs, signaling for him to lift them up slightly. You leaned down and kissed him. You could feel him smiling into the kiss, and so were you.

He spread his legs open at your sides, loosely wrapping them around your lower body. “Can I?” He asks you timidly while grabbing his length between your bodies and rubbing himself through your folds to get wet enough to push back inside of you comfortably.

“Please do” he messily pushed his tip in and bucked his hips upwards, filling you up again. “Mmm, so good,” you breathed out. You’ve never felt so full before. He was definitely the best you’ve ever had by far.

He moved his hand back up to your waist once he was nestled deep inside of you, and confidently strummed his fingertips along your bare sides.

You began thrusting yourself on his cock, loving how the new angle gave you even more control over him. “Better?” You questioned with your now swollen lips above his.

“Yes,” he whimpers at the feeling of your walls dragging against his cock so perfectly it hadn’t even been a minute, and he was already so close. “Y/n” Just after he said your name, he was moaning loudly into your mouth as he came inside you without any warning whatsoever.

You rested your forehead on his while he was panting and moaning. You could feel him twitching and pulsating as he shot his hot seed into you, and you’ve never felt a better feeling. You bit your lip in pure ecstasy while listening to his moans as his warmth invaded your insides and slowly started seeping out of you.

Once he was finished, he opened his eyes painfully slow, feeling upset with himself for cumming first. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to” his lip wobbled, and you swore it made your heart ache to see him beating himself up over something he really had no control over.

“No baby, don’t be. It’s normal for your first time” Your reassurance helped him feel a little bit more at ease, but he still felt disappointed with himself. He was silent for a few moments. You gave him some time to calm down a bit as you stroked his cheek lovingly. You didn’t even realize the longer you spent in bed with him, the more you were starting to fall for him. “Please don’t be upset, sweetheart, it’s okay” Your heart has never felt this heavy in years, and you’re not even sure why you felt such a strong need to cheer him up and make him feel better about himself, but you did.

Once he saw the concern written on your face, he was filled with worry and instantly hugged you out of nowhere, hugs always made him feel better, so he thought maybe that would work for you too. You melted into his embrace and kissed him reassuringly. “Is it okay if we try again? I won’t mess up this time,” he whispered in your ear, causing a shiver to run down your spine.

“You didn’t mess up, baby. You did so good, but if you want, we can still try” You kissed his shoulder.

“Let’s try.” He said determined.

You slowly lifted yourself up off his chest, pecking him on the lips as you gently rocked against him. He had already gotten hard again within seconds.

You maintained intense eye contact with him, sensually bucking your hips into him in your dimly lit bedroom.

“Slower, please,” he whines with furrowed eyebrows gritting his teeth from the stimulation. “I just don’t want it to end,” he confesses.

“Me neither, hee, you’re making me feel so good” his heart rate increased by a thousand at the nickname you had just absentmindedly given him.

Unfortunately, now it was you who was on edge. Your clit brushing against his abdomen was making your toes curl in pleasure, and you couldn’t take much more.

The wetness of his previous orgasm made it easier for you to penetrate yourself on his cock as you thrust back and forth on him with ease.

He blushed at the lewd sticky sounds of arousal biting on his lower lip the louder they got with each one of your sensual thrusts.

You ran your fingers up his slim thighs tickling his sweaty flesh as he arched his back off the bed, unintentionally thrusting into you, making you both gasp and moan in pleasure.

“Kiss me again, please,” he begged in a soft voice as he wrapped his arms around you, hugging you close to his chest.

You instantly gave into his wishes and lowered yourself on your elbows, connecting your lips with his.

Halfway through the make-out session, your orgasm was approaching quickly, and he tightened his legs around you when you involuntarily clenched down on him.

He was twitching inside you again, and you could tell he was close, especially from how his mouth was hung open and he was moaning desperately into the kiss.

You couldn’t hang on anymore. You let go allowing your orgasm to finally wash over you. “Oh heeseung,” you cried out his name so soft and vulnerable.

You clenched around him so tight that he couldn’t resist the strong urge to cum, but he still tried. “Y/n I-“

“It’s okay. Let Go. It’s okay,” you repeated over and over again, guiding him through his high as you felt him squirting his warm cum inside you for the second time tonight, and you were already hooked on the feeling.

He whimpers in your ear when you rest your head beside him, breathing heavily while you ride out your orgasms together.

“Breathe, baby” You could feel his heart beating against your chest and his body shaking under you. You ran your fingers through his sweaty hair to soothe him as he hummed into your neck, taking deep breaths and inhaling your scent.

You lay like that for a few minutes until his breathing steadied out a bit. “Did you like it?” You ask nervously for some reason, maybe because deep in the back of your mind, you were scared you weren’t able to give him a good first-time experience.

This was so uncharacteristic of you. Normally your clothes would have been on, and you would have kicked him out the door, but you couldn’t even think about doing something so harsh to him, and on top of that, the warmth of his embrace felt too good to let go of him any time soon.

“I umm,” he stumbles over his words going back to his shy self once he is able to calm down a bit more.

Your heart skipped a beat. What if he didn’t enjoy it? An unnerving feeling settled in the pit of your stomach at the thought.

He was nervously searching for the right answer good would be an understatement, but there was no word to describe the pleasure you just had given to him, but he still tried to. “It was perfect,” he finally said, and you felt a sense of relief wash over you. “How was it for you?” He asks timidly, feeling the same emotions you had felt. He just prayed that it felt as good for you as it did for him.

“It was amazing” You leaned back to see the giddy smile on his face, and you felt your heart melt.

You.

Were.

Fucked.

It had been a day since then, and apparently, heeseung had plans, so you didn’t see him today, which was actually great for you cause you needed time to think about what the hell you had gotten yourself into.

“What are you thinking about?” Jake gave you a good minute before speaking again when you didn’t answer him the first time around. “Earth to y/n,” he waved his hand back and forth.

You snapped out of your daydream and looked at your friend. “Hmm?”

“I said what are you thinking about? You’ve been spaced the heck out this whole time.”

“I'm thinking,” you reply and take his apple off his lunch tray.

“Oh, you don’t say,” he glared at you.

“Fine, me and heeseung had sex” You rushed out and looked at Jake with wide eyes at the realization of what you just spilled out.

“And?” He looks at you, confused. This was nothing new for you.

“And I think I fucking like him” You reached across the table and grabbed jakes collar looking at him with crazy eyes.

“Oh,” is all he says.

“Oh? That’s all you have to say is fucking oh!” You shouted and drew the attention of the whole cafeteria.

“I c-can barely b-breathe,” you notice the red hue on his face and let him go apologetically.

“Oops,” you giggled. "sorry."

Jake took a deep inhale, trying to process what you were saying. “You what now?” His voice was hoarse, and he took a sip of water before loosening his tie.

“Ok, so the other day, we studied for like three hours, and one thing led to another, so I took him back to my place,” you explained.

“So that’s why you didn’t answer my calls” Jake taps his chin. “Now it makes sense.”

You looked at him with an unamused expression. “Are you fucking serious?” You can’t believe he was paying more attention to the fact you missed his calls than the fact you might actually like someone since your ex.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he chuckled awkwardly and cleared his throat. “Continue”

“We were about to do it, but his mom called, but then she let him spend the night 'cause he told her I was a friend, and then we fucked” you sighed. “Very slow and sensually, passionately even, and then we cuddled and kissed for like another hour before going to sleep, and I think I like him” (you definitely weren’t going to tell him you went two more rounds in said hour he didn’t need to know all that) you went through every emotion right before your best friends eyes, and you felt like you were going to go crazy.

“Woah, that’s heavy” he took another deep inhale.

You just pouted and slouched in your chair.

“Hey, it’s okay” Jake was quick to sit next to you and pat your shoulder comfortingly.

You looked at him, and it didn’t take long for him to recognize that look. He knew you were just seconds away from crying. “Oh, come here, you poor thing,” he side-hugged you, and you rested your head on his shoulder while he stroked your back.

“I’m scared, Jakey,” you admitted.

“Why?” He whispers, ignoring the people staring at you two in the cafeteria.

“Cause I don’t think I can take being hurt again,” you sniffled.

“Y/n, not everyone is like him,” he says, referring to your ex. You both swore never to say his name again. “I’m sure heeseung is not that guy. I mean, as you said, he talks to himself about astronomy. He can’t be a bad guy,” Jake added, making you giggle.

That’s true. He wasn’t a bad guy. He was literally a sweetheart. No matter how much you tried to ignore it, everything about him attracted you, even his stupid little romance novels he tried to hide from you. You liked how passionate he was about what he liked. You love how awkward yet caring he was, and somehow even after hearing all those things about you, he still trusted you with his body, his feelings, and, most importantly, his heart.

After doing a little more thinking, you might have even liked him since the very beginning. As much as you tried to deny it by telling yourself you didn’t like his personality, in reality, it was a lie.

It was you trying to suppress feelings that you promised yourself you’d never feel again, but how could you not like him? He was adorable, and the little conversations he had with his mom made your heart swell. You had only spent a short time with him, but it was enough for you to fall for him.

And now that you have come to that realization, you know he was too good for you. He deserved someone equally as great as him, and you were far from that. You were the opposite, and after what you’ve done to so many others, you didn’t deserve to love, and you definitely didn’t deserve to be loved.

“I know you’re thinking hard about it, and I just want you to know that I’m here for you no matter what, okay?” He kissed the top of your head gently.

“Thank you, Jake,” you whispered.

“Anything for my little sister”

You had already texted heeseung the very next day to come over to your place so you could end this.

You couldn’t string him along longer than you already had. You were going to end it now. If you could go back in time and erase all this, then you surely would have.

Cause he, out of all people, didn’t deserve to get his heart broken.

♫I'll put you down slow. Love you, goodbye♫

If there was a bright side to this, though, it would be cutting him out of your life now so he didn’t waste any more of his precious time on an undeserving person like you.

He immediately agreed to meet at your place after school. He was feeling so nervous, but he was also so excited to see you again.

When he saw your text earlier, he blushed, thinking back to when he spent the night at your place.

He remembered it like it was yesterday. Well, technically, it had only been like two days, but still.

He couldn’t stop smiling on his way to see you, and before he could make it out the door, his mom was teasing him. “Date night already?” She noticed his attire just like before he had made it a point to dress up for you.

“Mom!” He whined and stomped his foot like a little kid.

“I’m only teasing you. You look handsome as always” She couldn’t help but smile at how bright and lively her son looked.

“Thanks, Mom,” he chuckled and headed to the door. “Hey, mom?” He calls her a little hesitantly.

“Yes, pumpkin?” She answers him with her usual sweet tone.

“Can I come home an hour later?” He asked.

“Oh, I don’t know. Isn’t that kinda late?” His curfew was already eight, and nine would really be pushing it.

“I know, Mom, but just this one time, please? I’ll even clean the house for a whole week” She saw the pleading look in his eyes, and how could she say no to such an adorable little face?

“Okay, fine, but no later than nine, young man” he rushes over to her and quickly pecks her on the cheek.

“I love you, mom, no later than nine, I promise!”

She watched him giddily running out the door with a huge smile on his face.

She remembers before when heeseung used to be a baby and had absolutely zero friends at school.

Those times were the hardest.

He was always so quiet when he came home from school she automatically took notice of how being an outcast was affecting him and took it upon herself to be his playmate.

She built Legos with him and even took him to the park with his dad to play basketball. Over the years, she quickly became his best friend and, sadly, his only friend.

Her heart ached for him, but at least he was happier after she started hanging out with him. She just wished someone would notice him. Sure, he was shy and reserved, but he was a sweet person. If anyone just took the time to see past his cute round frames and nerdy little exterior, they’d grow to love him in no time.

And apparently, you were that person that saw through it all.

Heeseung was always happy no matter what, but she could see the glow literally radiating off him after meeting you. She had no problem being there for heeseung, but a boy his age needed friends and to live a school life, not take her out to brunch every Sunday. She enjoyed all the time she spent with him, but she just really wanted to see him happy with someone else that wasn’t her or his father.

And she knew you must really be a special girl to have him acting like this. He was more outgoing and less shy about expressing himself. He spoke with so much more confidence, and she was forever grateful for you. Now her baby had someone to hang out with and something to laugh and talk about during dinner time, and maybe she’d just have to meet this one and only y/n someday.

You heard the soft knock on your door. It pained you so much to do this, but you had to. He didn’t deserve to hang around someone like you longer than he already had.

You could barely get your door open before heeseung was holding you close to his body and pressing his lip’s against yours. You didn’t have the power to even pull away cause his kisses were too addicting.

He stumbled into your apartment, and you shut the door behind him, messily pulling on his hair and deepening the kiss as he stuck his tongue inside your mouth, kissing you feverishly, kissing you like he hadn’t kissed you for years, yet it's only been two days he breathed heavily against your mouth as his nose brushed against yours every now and then.

He finally pulled away to give you a breather. “Sorry, I just missed you” his warm breath fanned across your face. “A lot,” he smiled sheepishly.

“Me too” You put your hands on his waist, and you heard him whimper slightly when you turned him around and backed him up against the couch. He fell back softly, and you straddled him, never disconnecting your lips from his for even a second.

He put his hands on your waist just like the other night bringing your body closer to his.

Once you felt his lips on yours, you completely forgot what you even called him over for, just his presence alone made you forget about everything else in the world except you and him.

He abruptly cut off the kiss. “Do you want to study?” Yes, it was random, he knew that, but the last thing he wanted was for you to think he only wanted to come over and have sex again. Sure, that would be a major plus, but he’d go home happy after just spending a few hours of quality time with you.

You laughed softly, and you thought only he could change the mood so quickly from a lust-filled kiss to a sweet innocent request for you to be his study Buddy, but that’s one of the many things that attracted you to him no matter what he was always so genuine and even if he was uncomfortable he’d still say what’s on his mind.

You pushed his glasses back up to the bridge of his nose. “Sure,” you smiled and pecked his little cupid's bow.

Heeseung was a little hesitant to speak about this topic with you so soon, but he knew he could trust you. “My mom said she likes you” he broke the silence while writing down notes.

“You talk to your mom about me?” You asked, a little shocked, but you should have already known by the way he talked to her over the phone.

He shrunk back a little at the sound of your voice, mistaking your shocked tone for an angry one, and maybe this was a bad topic to bring up after all. “N-nevermind,” you noticed the sad look on his face and quickly cleared up what you meant.

“Sweetheart, I’m just shocked, that’s all,” you reassured him by placing your palm on his cheek and kissing him softly. You visibly watched him relax under your gentle touch.

“Maybe you two could meet sometime?” He said feeling hopeful.

“I don’t know, baby,” you say reluctantly.

“I-it’s fine. It's just I never brought anyone home before” he paused before speaking again. “My mom is just excited that I’m finally talking to someone, and I know it’d make her so happy if you came over, but yeah, just forget I said anything,” he fake laughed, trying to act like he wasn’t hurt but you could still see the frown on his face.

You hated seeing him down like that, so like a dumbass, you were setting up a date to meet his mom even though you knew you’d never actually go. You just wanted to see him happy again. “Actually, I'll check my schedule” You ruffled his hair, and just like that, he was smiling that beautiful smile once again.

“Really?” He said excitedly. “I know she’ll fall in love with you right away.”

The guilt was slowly building inside you at this point, and you’re not sure if you've ever felt this bad in your whole entire life.

How were you going to break up whatever this was that you and him had after this?

“And maybe I could meet your friend too?” He was tilting his head curiously while asking you.

You just smiled and nodded. He went back to writing down notes with a smile on his face while kicking his feet cause he couldn’t contain his excitement.

Yeah, you definitely never felt this bad.

Heeseung was walking to your and jakes table in the cafeteria with a nervous smile on his face, and it didn’t leave even after he sat down.

Jake was looking between the two of you, doing his best to contain his smile at how awkward you both were. He decided to help you both out a bit. “You must be the infamous heeseung,” Jake says.

“Y-yes,” heeseung mutters and offers a smile, still not being able to meet your friend's gaze.

“I’m Jake. It’s nice to finally meet you y/n told me about you.” Heeseung wiped his palm on his slacks and shook Jake's hand timidly.

The boy had gone red at the thought of you talking about him to your best friend. “Nice to m-meet you” he glanced up at Jake, who was smiling brightly at him, which made him feel just a bit more comfortable.

“I can see why y/n likes you” Jake chuckles and looks at you. “He’s adorable,” he mouthed to you while heeseung was still looking down. You smiled a little happy that Jake was approving of him so far. “I don’t see how you like her, though” Jake laughed, and you glared at him playfully.

Heeseung looked at you, and he didn’t know if Jake was joking or not, so he stayed silent.

Jake cleared his throat once he saw the older boy’s indifferent expression. “I’m only joking!” he patted Heeseung on the back, and he laughed awkwardly. “You looked like you were going to beat me up.” He joked.

Heeseung’s eyes widened in fear he’d never lay a finger on anyone in a harmful manner. “Again, I’m only joking” Jake could definitely see the boy's uneasiness, so he backed off and changed the topic. “So y/n told me you hung out the other day. What did you two study?”

Heeseung was full-on blushing, remembering that studying definitely wasn’t all you two did that night.

Jake looked at you, and you weren’t any better off. Neither of you were giving him much to work with to avoid any more awkward situations. “Physics is my favorite subject,” he adds, hoping to get either of you to say anything at this point.

Heeseung’s ears perked up at the mention of physics. “Mine too!” You rolled your eyes playfully at these two nerds in front of you. Of course, they would bond over school.

As they talked on and on about different school subjects, you tuned them out, just watching heeseung’s face light up as he held a proper conversation. You were happy that he wasn’t on the outside looking in anymore. Now he was a part of his own little circle, and you were thankful that your best friend was nice enough to give heeseung a chance cause you know not many would.

Heeseung’s phone rang, and you were knocked from your little trance. “Oh, that’s my mom. Sorry I have to go now, but I’ll see you Tomorrow?” He asked Jake as he was packing up his bag.

“I’ll be here,” Jake replied and gave heeseung a tiny wave.

Heeseung gave you a soft peck on your cheek before leaving. “Bye,” he waved to you both with a blush on his face, and just like that, he was out of sight.

♫Everyone says I look happy When it feels right♫

“You look happy,” Jake teased, and you just blushed, not bothering to address his playful comment. “If you get rid of him, I’ll kill you,” Jake said, and for once, you couldn’t tell if he was joking or not.

You saluted and chuckled. “Yes, captain”

You tiredly dragged yourself out of bed. You couldn’t get any sleep after thinking about heeseung all night.

You had no idea what to do, especially after he met Jake. How were you going to tell your best friend about breaking things off with heeseung after he told you he liked him?

You shook it off and did your daily routine. You’d find a way around it somehow.

Your phone was ringing loudly from your bedroom, and you shuffled back to your bed, clearing your throat to get rid of your morning voice before answering. “Hi, y/n” You heard his sweet, honey-like voice across the line, and you swore your heart skipped a bit.

“Hey, sweetheart,” you replied back just as sweetly as you took a seat on your bed.

“Do you want to come over? I-I mean, My parents took a mini vacation, and they won’t be home for a while, so I was wondering if you maybe wanted to keep me company?” He rushed out, anxious to hear what you had to say.

♫Before you let go, just one more time♫

“Sure, what time, baby?” It couldn’t hurt to see him. You were already in a fucked up position, so spending one more day with him wouldn’t make a difference. Right?.

“Can you come over now?” He whined cutely.

“Of course,” you smiled even though he couldn’t see you.

“Okay, I’ll send you the address. See you soon!”

“Bye, baby,” you chuckled. He had already hung up before you could even reply. Just as you were about to get up, your phone rang again. “Hello?” You said with a tiny giggle.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to hang up. I guess I was too excited to send the address” Without even being able to see him, you could tell he was fidgeting with that cute little nervous look on his face.

God, he was so adorable. “It’s okay, baby” You smiled at his thoughtfulness. “I’ll see you soon, yeah?”

“Yeah,” he breathed out. Just the sound of your voice was giving him butterflies. “Bye, baby”

Now you were feeling butterflies. Did he just call you baby? This boy was going to be the death of you. “Bye, hee”

You plopped face down on your pillows, screaming into the soft material and kicking your feet like a love-struck teenager. “What’s happening to me?” You rolled over on your back and stared up at the ceiling clutching your racing heart.

♫Flowers in hand, waiting for me♫

Once you arrived, heeseung greeted you at the door immediately. “Hey, baby,” he blushed as he extended his hands out to you with a bouquet of flowers in his hand.

“Hi!” You smiled brightly and wrapped your hands around his waist as he welcomed your hug. “You smell good,” you giggled.

“Thank you” he whispered.

You pulled back from the hug, taking the flowers from him to smell them, and they were absolutely lovely. “They’re beautiful, thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” He closed the door behind you and awkwardly scratched his nape.

“You’re so cute” You couldn’t contain your smile. Everything he did was just too adorable.

Lee heeseung, why do you have to be so lovable?

“T-thank you,” he blushed while taking your hand in his leading you to his bedroom.

It didn’t take you long to get comfortable on his bed in his room. He was currently resting his head on your lap, telling you about his plans for the week while he had the house all to himself. You ran your fingers through his soft hair, and the boy couldn’t help but get distracted by your touch.

His eyes fell shut, and he let out a soft breath. He didn’t mean to, but he was getting just a little bit excited below the belt, and he moaned quietly when your fingertips brushed past his ear.

You looked at him and smiled slightly. He looked so good with his dusty blonde hair. He swallowed thickly when you stroked his cheek, and your eyes darted to his prominent Adam’s apple. You unknowingly licked your lips at the sight, your eyes raking over the rest of his body that was sprawled out on his bed, and you didn’t miss the bulge that his khaki pants did absolutely nothing to hide.

He looks up at you with a desperate expression on his face hoping you’d get the hint.

You didn’t need him to say anything to know what he needed. “Sit back for me, sweetheart” You loved how he did anything you said without even asking questions cause that’s how much he trusted you, but at the same time, you felt so guilty.

You lay between his legs leveling your face with his crotch, lightly kissing over the bulge in his pants. “O-oh,” he gripped at his bed sheets, and you looked up at him, watching the way his muscles flexed thanks to the lack of sleeves on his white tank top.

Slowly you ran your palm over his hard cock, feeling it twitch under your hand. “Up” You tapped his thigh, and he lifted his hips up, allowing you to easily remove his bottoms, revealing his delicious cock. “So pretty," you said to yourself, but he heard it somehow, and of course, like any other compliment you gave him, it made him blush.

“Thank you,” he whispered.

Gosh, he was literally the cutest.

You kissed all the way up his shaft until you reached the tip, tasting the first bead of precum that pooled at his slit.

His body was already on fire, and every touch was making him feel little sparks on every inch of his body. “Ah~” his mouth fell open, and he moaned from the feeling of your tongue tracing over the veins on his hard cock.

You opened wide and took him halfway inside your mouth, sucking him off slowly. You moaned around his cock, satisfied with the little sounds he was making just for you.

♫ Won't call me by name, only baby♫

“Baby…” he looked at you, sitting between his legs. He let out a low groan, and he refused to believe that he was anywhere but heaven right now.

You lowered your hands from his thighs so you could fondle his full balls. You caressed them softly while hallowing your cheeks to take him deeper down your throat.

His sounds were driving you absolutely wild, and the way his cock rested heavily on your tongue felt nothing short of amazing. “Y/n?” He grabbed your hand so you would stop, and you immediately pulled off of him.

“What’s wrong?” You ask him with worry stroking his hand with your thumb while he squeezes yours lightly.

“Nothing, it’s just I didn’t want to, you know…” he trailed off shyly, and you knew what he was getting at.

“Baby, don’t worry, just enjoy yourself” You winked at him playfully, and just like that, your pretty plump lips were wrapped around him as you started sucking on his dick once again.

As soon as your lips made contact again, he knew he wasn’t going to last much longer. “Oh god, I think I’m gonna- so- so close,” he warned you. He tried to push you back cause he didn’t want to cum in your mouth without your permission, but you moved his hand away, and not even a second later, he came down your throat with loud, broken moans. His sounds only increased in volume when you gently squeezed his balls and sucked him through his high.

You closed your eyes, focusing on the way he tasted. It was salty with a hint of sweetness, and you could have sworn you never had anything better inside your mouth than his warm cum.

After you felt the faint pulsating of his cock disappear, you pulled off him with a quiet pop licking the corners of your lips.

♫Take off your clothes, pretend that it's fine. A little more hurt won't kill you♫

He had his hands outstretched to you, silently asking you to come closer. You stood up momentarily and undressed. He used the opportunity to quickly pull off his tank top, leaving him completely naked you smiled and climbed back on top of him. “Was tha-" he cut you off by pressing his lips on yours, kissing you in a way he hadn’t before. It was sloppy wet messy, and rushed. You could feel how eager he was to kiss you by the way he was gripping tightly onto your waist.

He wanted to tell you so much, but he just couldn’t stop kissing you long enough to convey just how strong his feelings were for you.

He didn’t even give you space to breathe. He just held you closer, tighter, and kissed you rougher.

You willfully gave in and didn’t even try to resist anymore. He groaned when he tasted himself on your tongue as he dug his nails into your sides while unknowingly bucking his hips into your core.

He couldn’t help but moan out loud when you met him halfway, rutting yourself against his growing cock.

He didn’t know what came over him, but he suddenly flipped you over, and now he was on top of you for the first time ever. He clasped your hands with his while grinding his crotch into you.

The kiss was a complete mess drool was leaking at the corners of both of your lips. His breathing was rapid and unstable, but neither of you cared at this moment. Every single thing you did to each other felt perfect. “I need you s-so bad,” he panted.

“Take me. I’m all yours” he looked down at you with eyes full of need, and it only occurred to him that he was suddenly in the dominant position, and a nervous feeling began settling in his stomach.

You immediately noticed his unsure expression, and he was so thankful when you flipped him over and got back on top, taking charge of him once again. “Good?”

“Good,” he agreed with a tiny smile on his face. You were both in the same position when it was his first time, he grabbed his base and angled his tip at your entrance, pushing it in slowly, You were so wet that he easily slipped inside you with little to no resistance, filling you up just the way you needed.

Neither of you uttered a word. You only stared deeply into each other's eyes with your mouths parted in pleasure.

You rocked back and forth on him slowly at first, but you quickly got used to the feeling of his thick cock stretching you open and you rolled your hips faster.

His face was so precious, all twisted in pleasure, eyes deeply focused on you as you rode him.

He coyly moved his hands around your body, kneading your bottom with his large hands. He bit his lip softly, groaning as your walls contracted around him.

Usually, it took a while for you to cum with others, but with him, it was nothing. It had only been minutes, but that knot in your stomach was all too telling of the orgasm that was soon to come.

You moved your hand from his shoulder and gripped his wrist, guiding his hand to your clit. You threw your head back in pleasure. As soon as his warm fingers brushed over your nub he felt you squeezing around him tightly.

You picked up the pace, and he instinctively circled your clit faster and faster. You knew he was a quick learner, but not that quick. “Is that okay?” He asked, making sure you were feeling good too.

“Yes, baby,” you cupped his cheek, kissing him roughly as you felt your legs starting to give out due to your high coming in hot. “Don’t stop, hee. Please, I’m so close.”

He twitched at the sound of your voice when you called him baby. He absolutely loved it when you called him that.

He wasn’t thinking about stopping after hearing your moans of pleasure. He rubbed your clit even faster, and that sent you over the edge immediately. You clenched around him, triggering his own orgasm right after yours. “I’m cumming” he whispered breathlessly while filling you up with his seed, the convulsions of your pussy milking him until you were filled to the absolute brim with his sweet release.

“Heeseung,” you tiredly choked out his name through your sounds of ecstasy. You have never felt such a strong orgasm before. You couldn’t stop convulsing around him even if you tried.

“Baby,” he moaned while drawing out your nickname, you heard him sobbing quietly from the overwhelming orgasm.

You could feel him shaking with pleasure as his cum flowed into you like a never-ending stream. He painted your walls with spurt after spurt of his hot white release, making you feel warm inside and out.

You collapsed on his chest, your body still trembling with pleasure.

His bedroom fell silent only heavy breaths could be heard as you gently caressed each other's sweat-covered bodies.

About ten minutes later, you gained enough energy to get from on top of him, not worrying about the mess you both made on his sheets. After he pulled out of you, you both lay beside each other, and he covered you with the blankets holding you close to his side as he looked at you with a huge grin on his face. “I was scared of you for no reason” he carefully stroked your cheek with his thumb as he spoke softly. “You’re not a bad person at all.” He giggled.

You smiled at that, but boy, was he so wrong about you.

“You’re an angel,” he continued letting all his feelings pour out like an endless waterfall. “How did I get so lucky to have someone like you?”

His words were just a reminder of what you were slowly working up the courage to do, and you felt sick as tears welled in your eyes, but you fought them back. Instead of giving him an answer, you leaned in and pecked his lips, and his face instantly lit up like a christmas tree.

“D-do you umm… want to take a bath with me?” He asked tiredly, still stroking your cheek with his thumb as a blush dusted his cheeks.

“Sure” he got up and reached for your hand, helping you up out of his bed.

“Hee!” You squealed when he picked you up and walked you to his bathroom.

His loud laugh echoed in the tiled restroom as he set you down carefully. He kissed your cheek before running the warm water for you both.

You caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror, and your smile instantly faded. You turned away, too ashamed of the reflection that stared back at you in your attempt to cut him out of your life. You had only got closer to him, and now you didn’t know how you’d be able to stay away from him, especially when he was smiling so sweetly at you and offering you his hand to help you inside the tub with him.

As you lay pressed against his warm chest feeling his gentle heartbeat on your back and the soft touches he left all over your body, all you could think was that you could stay like this forever.

Weeks had gone by since that night, and so many events had taken place heeseung had taken you on a date and worked up the courage to ask you to be his girlfriend, and you couldn’t find it in your heart to tell him no cause you knew it would crush his little heart.

It’s funny, isn’t it?

The reason you even talked to him in the first place was to destroy him break him down til there was nothing left, and now you were doing everything in your power just to make sure he had a smile on his face at all times you had even met his mom, and she was the sweetest lady ever. You knew exactly where heeseung got his kindness from. They were both literally angels.

♫ Baby, angels like you can't fly down here with me♫

And here you were, the devil in disguise.

You still haven’t told Jake about anything, at least not yet, anyways.

You were all currently sitting on the living room floor in a circle playing go fish at your place. Jake and heeseung had also grown closer over the months, and it warmed your heart to see they acted like real brothers.

You remember after heeseung first met Jake. He was nervously asking you. “Do you think Jake likes me?” He twiddled his fingers, hoping for a good response. “I hope he does,” he mumbles.

You just giggled at your boyfriend’s cuteness and pinched his cheeks. “He wouldn’t stop asking when you’re gonna have lunch with us again” heeseung smiled brightly after hearing that. “So yes, I think he likes you,” you added with a smile.

There was no one happier in the world than lee heeseung. After befriending you and Jake, not only did you like him, but so did your best friend. He finally felt like he belonged after all this time. He finally found people that he liked, loved even and people that he could trust.

Finally, for once in his life, he didn’t feel like an outcast. He finally felt acknowledged, and that’s all he’s ever longed for.

“No peaking,” Jake giggled and held his cards to his chest.

“Do you have a…….” You drew out the question, wondering which card you could ask for, not that it really mattered. Your hand was literally full of cards. “A nine?”

“You’re in luck” Jake passed you his nine, and you got rid of just one of the many cards in your hand, leaving Jake with two cards.

Heeseung had one card left, and he needed just one more pair to empty his hand and win. “Okay, does anyone have a” He looked back and forth between you and Jake, building the suspense for absolutely no reason other than to tease you both like he always had. You were both on the edge of your invisible seats, waiting for him to say which card he needed. “Wait, I have to go to the restroom” You and Jake both let out exaggerated sighs and groans, and heeseung just giggled. “No cheating, I trust you guys” he left his last card on the carpet, trusting you guys not to look at it or even change it, for that matter.

You sighed and picked at the carpet, waiting for your boyfriend to get back, and Jake noticed the uneasy look on your face right away. “I know that look, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” you lied literally everything was wrong.

“Come on, y/n, you know you can talk to me” he was right. If anyone could keep a secret, it was Jake, but he was the one you were keeping the secret from, but it was time for you to come clean about everything.

“Please don’t kill me when I tell you this” Jake was searching your face waiting for you to laugh, but you never did. He just nodded his head and let you continue. “So you know how I was deciding if I was going to continue to see heeseung, right?” Jake nodded again, and you sighed. “I’m going to break up with him soon,” you said dreadfully, knowing full well your friend’s reaction wouldn’t be good at all.

“What the fuck, y/n?” You quickly shushed him, and he lowered his voice. “I thought you were done with that shit. You said you liked him. What the hell happened?” Jake whisper, shouted in anger.

♫I know that you're wrong for me♫

“I know, I know, and I do like him, but he deserves better,” you groaned and held your head in your hand while sighing as a painful expression made its way to your features at just the mention of breaking up with him.

Jake's expression softens at your reason for wanting to break up, and his heart never ached for anyone more than you right now. He couldn't imagine how you were feeling. “Y/n,” he sighs. “Don’t go so hard on yourself, okay?” You nodded your head, but your mind was already made up.

“It’ll be better for all of us this way” You smiled sadly. If Jake knew anything about you, he knew that whenever you said something, you meant it, but that doesn’t mean he always agreed with it, especially right now.

Jake just sighed and put his hand on your shoulder, squeezing it lightly. “Don’t worry, it’ll be okay” he was sure going to miss the hell out of that kid and the late-night gaming/studying session he had with him, but you were his best friend. He had to stand by you no matter what happened. “When are you going to break up with him?”

Heeseung was just coming back from the restroom. He had taken a bit longer than usual to keep adding to the suspense of the outcome of the game, knowing how easily it ruffled both of your feathers.

Just before he turned the corner, he heard you and Jake whispering about something, and he didn’t know why, but he stopped to listen, and he almost wished he hadn’t. “Break up with who?” He whispered, revealing himself from behind the door.

Your stomach dropped when you saw him standing there with a confused look on his face.

Jake froze in place, not having the courage to even look at heeseung.

“Who are you guys talking about?” Heeseung’s lip trembled as he tried his hardest to fight back his tears, praying that this wasn’t what he thought it was. “Baby, answer me” Your heart shattered at the sound of his pained voice.

When you didn’t answer him, he looked to Jake instead. “Jakey?” Tell me you guys are joking. Please tell me this is a game,” Heeseung muttered.

Jake wanted to say something so bad, but for the first time in his life, he just didn’t have the right words to say.

“Baby, please just liste-” You looked at him, tears pooling in your eyes and blurring your vision, but you could still see the distraught look on his face, and it broke you.

The pet name he had once loved hearing from you was now making him feel disgusted. “D-don’t call me that. Just tell me what you two were talking about,” he says weakly. “Were you planning on breaking up with me?”

“Yes, but-"

“I can’t believe you. I trusted you!” He shouted and looked over at Jake, who still had his head down. “And you, you knew, didn’t you?” He asked Jake.

“Hee, I’m sorr-" Jake tried to speak up, but heeseung was quick to cut him off.

“Just stop! I don’t want to fucking hear from either of you ever again!” you flinched at his tone. You’d never heard him cuss like that before. “I should have never trusted you. I should have listened to the rumors and stayed away” tears spilled from his eyes as he yelled in frustration. “I should have known somebody like you was incapable of having real emotions” he laughed pathetically at himself and wiped his tears. “I’m such an idiot! This is what you do. You use people up until you don’t want them anymore, and you throw them away.”

♫I'm everything they said I would be♫

It was the truth. Everything he said was the truth, and you couldn’t even fight back.

“Don’t say that. You know nothing about her!” Jake shouted back. He wasn’t just going to sit there and listen to heeseung talk about you that way.

“You know, you’re right. I thought I did, but I don’t, and I thought I knew you too turns out I don’t know either of you. You were like the brother I never had. I shared everything with you, but I guess it all meant nothing to you cause the whole time, all you did was talk behind my back."

♫It's not your fault I ruin everything♫

The room had gone completely silent. You were in a state of utter shock. You ruined your relationship. You ruined Jake and Heeseung’s friendship everything was destroyed all because of you.

“I believed that you had changed, I really did,” heeseung’s voice cracked as he directed his words at you. “I gave you my heart” he paused for a moment to composes his thoughts before continuing. “I trusted you with my body,” he gritted through his teeth, and you could hear the pure disgust in his tone. It broke your heart to hear him say such things to you. “I-I loved you” his voice sounded so weak and broken with the last words he spoke.

♫And it's not your fault I can't be what you need♫

You couldn’t fight back the tears anymore. You dropped your head as the first of many tears fell to the carpet.

He swallowed thickly, a fresh stream of warm tears rolling down his cheeks. “And I can’t even count how many times I wanted to tell you that, but I’m so glad I never did,” he spat, voice laced with venom as he walked past the both of you, grabbing his jacket and running home with tears in his eyes.

♫Gonna wish we never met on the day I leave♫

“Y/n, I’m sorry,” Jake whispers, feeling like this was all his fault, but it wasn’t. This was going to happen sooner or later, maybe not with this outcome, but the hurt that it caused was inevitable.

You stood up and ran to your room, bawling your eyes out as you heard Jake calling for you.

You’ve never felt so much pain in your whole entire life, not even when your ex told you he never loved you. It hurt so bad, and you felt so sick to the point you thought you might even throw up.

You couldn’t believe what you had done. If you had of just broken up with heeseung sooner, this could have all been avoided. You could have kept Jake out of your drama, but instead, you decided to be selfish, and because of that, now everyone was hurting all because of you.

♫Cause they say that misery loves company♫

The memory of his hurt face and teared stained cheeks gnawed at your guilty conscious.

You clutched your chest tightly, feeling like the air was slowly being sucked out of your lungs as you sobbed harder and harder. “I’m so sorry, baby,” you repeated over and over again while hugging yourself.

Even after hours had gone by, you still hadn’t moved an inch. You couldn’t stop crying, but this is what you deserved. You imagined this is how all your hookups felt after you used them up and threw them away like yesterday’s garbage.

Maybe somehow, this was their revenge and a catastrophic reminder that no matter what happens, you'll always reap what you sow.

♫Tonight, Mother says, "You don't look happy."♫

Heeseung went home and slammed the front door shut.

“You don’t look happy, pumpkin. What’s wrong?” He didn’t want to just ignore his mom like that, but he knew it’d break her heart if she saw him like this, so he locked himself in his room and cried all alone.

He sat down on his bed, but he couldn’t even get comfortable. He couldn’t stand knowing that this was the same bed you once laid in with him, the same bed where he cuddled you so lovingly and gave you every last drop of his love.

All the memories he had with you flashed before his teary eyes from the first day he saw you to just a few moments ago.

He couldn’t believe that you lied. Everything felt so real to him, the way you’d kiss him, the way you’d make love to him, and just knowing it was all an act made everything hurt ten times worse.

And the more he thinks about it, the worse it gets. He could see you wanting to play games with him but Jake too? What was in it for him? Why did he have to lie? Was it all just some sick game to the both of you? Was he just that naive and easy to fool?

The absolute worst part of all is that you came to his house and met his most beloved people in the world and lied to them straight to their faces like it was easy, like it was fun.

He knew he should have gone with his gut feeling and stayed away from you, but he was never one to judge a book by its cover, but this time he wished he had of cause. You know what they say.

The evilest girls have the prettiest face.

He curled himself up into a little ball in the corner of his room, hugging his knees tightly and slowly rocking back and forth. “Why does it hurt so bad?” He choked out. His breathing started to get uneven, and before he could even register what was happening, he started to hyperventilate, and his eyelids slowly fluttered shut while everything else around him went black.

You woke up to hundreds of texts from Jake asking you if you were alright, and you were beyond thankful for his concern, but you just didn’t have the strength to reply.

Instead, you went to your old texts with heeseung. By this time, he would have already texted you with a cute little message.

Good morning baby! flowers for you! 💐

That’s the text he’d always send to you every morning, and to see absolutely nothing from him, it broke your heart.

You tried to call him, but after several rings, it went to his voicemail. You sent more texts than you could count, hoping he’d respond, but he never did.

For the rest of the day, you stayed curled up in a ball on your bed, not even thinking of going to school today.

I’m sorry for last night. Can we talk?

Heeseung opened his phone and looked at the message Jake had sent him. He instantly blocked jakes number without a second thought.

He opened your messages next, and he teared up right away. He read through a few of them, and every single one made his heart hurt.

Baby

I miss you

I’m so sorry

Please let me explain

He didn’t bother reading anymore. He blocked your number along with Jake. There was no point in letting you explain last night was enough of an explanation for him.

He curled on his bed and sobbed quietly into his pillow, trying to ignore the agonizing pain he felt in his chest.

“Pumpkin?” He heard his mom's voice call from behind his bedroom door. She frowned when she didn’t hear his voice on the other end. “Heeseung?” She twisted the knob and saw him all bundled up beneath his blankets, and she heard his quiet sniffles. “Oh no, my sweet boy, what happened?” She sat down on his bed and stroked his hair.

He pulled his covers back and wrapped his arms around his mother, wetting her shirt with his teary cheeks. “Y/n, broke up with me,” he said in between labored breaths.

Her heart instantly dropped at the news. She couldn’t believe it. She didn’t want to believe it.

How could you have done such a thing to her precious baby, especially when you always looked at him so fondly whenever you came over for dinner.

How could you possibly even fathom breaking up with him after you professed such love, and how could you break up with him after you told her straight to her face that you’d love him unconditionally and take care of him no matter what? “Mom, can I stay home? I don’t feel like going to school today.” He mumbled.

“Of course, you can stay home, sweetie” She smoothed her hands over his back gently. “You can talk to me whenever you’re ready,” she whispered softly and waited for him to open up.

By the time he finished telling her everything and crying his poor little heart out, it was nearing midnight, and he still didn’t look like he’d be done crying anytime soon.

“Shh,” she patted his back, trying to calm him down. After a few moments, his breathing evened out a bit, and shaky breaths left his quivering lips.

She let go of him and allowed him to lie back into his pillows. “I know it’s hard, but try to get some rest, okay, sweetie” he nodded weakly and wiped his tears.

“Okay,” he whispered shakily and closed his swollen eyes. She placed one kiss on his forehead before shutting off his light. “Goodnight, baby,” she tucked him in, and she could already hear his breath becoming more stable. She quietly left his room and shut the door behind her.

She rested her back against the door, and tears welled in her eyes. She felt like it was all her fault for trusting you with her son to begin with.

It had been officially one week since your and Heeseung’s unofficial breakup, and you were just laid up in bed pining over him, but you quickly realized you had to do something. You had to get your baby back. You couldn’t just sit there and let someone like him get away so easily.

You called Jake, and he picked up right away. He had been waiting by his phone for your call all day. “Y/n? Are you okay? What can I do?”

You smiled at hearing your friend's concern for you. “Well, Jake, I’m as okay as a person can be after losing the love of their life,” you let out an airy laugh.

“Y/n…..” you heard him sigh. “I’m sorry,” he apologized even though it wasn’t his fault.

“Jake, don’t apologize. It’s not your fault, and if anything, I should be sorry to you because I ruined everything,” your voice cracked.

“Don’t be hard on yourself, y/n. You’ve been through enough” he paused before asking you a question that’s been on his mind since yesterday. “Did you try contacting him? I tried texting, but I think he might have blocked me.”

“I tried, but he didn’t answer” You sighed deeply, and you couldn’t hold back your quiet sobs.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay, don’t cry. We’re gonna explain everything, and we’re gonna get him back. I promise you hear me” he heard your silence over the line and continued. “Besides, he owes us a rematch of go fish,” he chuckled to lighten the mood.

“Yeah, you’re right” You laughed a little, before you finished the call with Jake. You both made a plan to go to heeseung’s house and apologize to him.

Cause no matter what, you were going to get him back.

You and Jake met up later that day, and you were both currently standing outside heeseung's door. “Take a deep breath. You got this” You half smiled at Jake and knocked on heeseung’s door quietly.

His mom came to the door after a few seconds. “Hel- oh,” her face dropped a little once she saw you and Jake, and it took everything in her not to just slam the door right in your guys' faces.

You smiled sadly, and you assumed she must have already gotten the news about what happened between you and heeseung. “Hi, Ms lee,” you muttered. Jake just smiled awkwardly behind you.

“Well, it was nice seeing you both, but I have work to do” She closed the door halfway, and you spoke up before she could shut it.

“Wait, I-is heeseung here?” You asked timidly.

“Mom, wh-“ heeseung stopped midway on the staircase when he saw you and Jake standing at the door. He made eye contact with you, and he quickly turned around and went back upstairs.

You parted your mouth to say something, but nothing came out.

“Have a good day,” ms lee said with a stern look and closed the door.

You turned to Jake, and your lip quivered. “Jake,” you broke down into tears, and Jake immediately wrapped you in his arms, frowning when he heard your sniffles.

You both stood outside the door for a solid three minutes before you decided to leave. “Come on,” Jake whispered while patting your back and carefully walking you down the steps.

Heeseung peeked out of his blinds, and when he saw you and Jake getting further away from his house, a tear rolled down his cheek.

He sat down on his bed and stared blankly at the floor, fiddling with his fingers. “Are you okay?” His mom asks when she went to check on him.

“Yeah, I’m okay,” he gave his mom a half smile. “Its just gonna take some time,” he sighed while she nodded her head in understanding. “What did they want?” He asked curiously.

“Well, if I’m being honest, dear, I was too angry to let them explain,” she told him truthfully. “But I’m sure it’s nothing to concern yourself with” She patted his head softly.

“Yeah,” he agreed. There’s nothing that you or Jake needed to explain. He got played by you, just like the rumors said. He thought he was smart enough not to let that happen to himself but look what that way of thinking got him.

Nothing but a broken heart.

“Come down for dinner soon, okay?”

“Okay, Mom” She left him alone for a little while and gave him some time to himself.

He caught sight of his phone, and he knew he shouldn’t, but he unlocked it anyways and scrolled through the many pictures you had taken together. The more he scrolled, the more it hurt, and when he came across the selfie you all took the night he overheard you talking about breaking up with him, he relived that moment all over again.

He quickly shut off his phone and tossed it to the side before wiping his tears with his shirt and going downstairs.

“Y/n, we just have to try again, that’s all,” Jake explained to you while watching you bawl your eyes out on the couch in your living room.

“Can’t you see he wants nothing to do with me? He saw me, and he walked away” You sobbed loudly and buried your head in your hands.

Jake never thought he’d ever see you this hurt. Even when your ex broke up with you, you didn’t take it this hard. “Come on, we barely even tried. We can’t just give up that easy,” he patted your shoulder. “I know you’re not trying your hardest cause you think you’re no good for him, but you have to see past that, okay? He still loves you. I know he does. I’m sure if you just explain, he’ll understand, and I mean, come on, it’ll be something straight out of those romance novels he’s so in love with,” Jake giggled.

Jake was right, and you knew it. You just had to get over yourself long enough to believe that you deserved an angel like heeseung. It would be challenging, but you promised yourself you’d change so you could make things work between you and him. “Thank you, Jake,” you cried on his shoulder and released a deep breath. You really don’t know what you’d do or where you’d be without him.

“I told you anything for my little sister” he hugged you back and comforted you for the rest of the night.

♫Every word in poetry♫

So the plan was to act out a scene in a romance novel, his favorite scene, as cliche as it was, you would stand outside his window with big, bold letter lights that said “I love you, and I’m sorry.”

If the plan went as well as it did in the novel, then by the end of the night, heeseung would be yours again.

You and Jake waited till nightfall to set everything up cause you’d probably get caught if you did it in broad daylight.

The letters were absolutely huge, and they nearly lit up the whole freaking neighborhood cause of the big bulbs that were in them. You sprinkled rose petals on the ground, and you searched for tiny pebbles to throw at his window to wake him up.

“Okay, I think that’s everything” Jake stood up and dusted his hands off. “You got this!” He gave you a thumbs up and hid behind some bushes a couple of feet away.

You took a deep breath and tossed the first pebble at his window, completely missing your target.

You shook the nerves off a bit and threw another, this time hitting your target right down the middle.

You waited a few seconds before throwing some more, and eventually, it woke him up.

Heeseung stirred in his bed at the foreign noise against his window, after a moment the strange sound had woken him up. He peeled his covers back as he made his way out of bed to see what was happening. “Y/n?” He mumbled tiredly and rubbed his eyes before opening the window.

“Hi!” you waved when you saw him peeking out the window.

He gasped once his eyes adjusted, and he realized that it was actually you standing outside his window, he nearly teared up when he saw your elaborate apology. This was the absolute last thing he was expecting, but he loved each and every last second of it. He put his glasses and his robe on before running downstairs and going out to his backyard.

You lowered your head in defeat when he left from the window. You had no idea why you even thought that this would wor-

“Y/n!” Heeseung said your name way too loud for it to be past midnight, but he couldn’t care less. All he cared about was the fact that you were standing before him once again and apologizing for your past mistakes. “Hi,” he said breathlessly while squeezing you in a tight hug.

You broke down in tears the instant you saw him running to you, and when you felt him in your arms again, everything felt so complete. “I’m so sorry, baby,” you apologized to him over and over again.

Him being the sweet boy he is, forgave you instantly as he stroked your back with his palms enjoying the feeling of being in your arms once more. “Baby. I’m sorry for not letting you explain” he leaned back and stared into your teary eyes. “I love you,” he confessed as his eyes watered.

“I love you too. I love you so much, and I’m so sorry for breaking up with you. It’s just I felt like I was wrong for you and that you deserved someone bett-"

It’s been way too long since he last kissed you, and whatever nonsense you were spewing out could wait til later.

He pressed his lip’s against yours softly, and you both melted into each other instantaneously. Your lips molded perfectly together with his, and even if his goofy little glasses were in the way, it was still the best kiss you both ever shared.

“Ahem!” Jake came from behind the tree when you and heeseung started to get a little handsy. “Hey there,” Jake waved to Heeseung timidly and shoved his hands into his pockets.

Heeseung's face lit up. He couldn’t believe he had both of his favorite people standing in front of him, going through all this trouble to apologize just for him. No matter what happened in the past, he didn’t care. All he cared about was the fact that you were all finally together again.

“Group hug!” You cheered as Jake joined your tiny little circle, and you celebrated the small reunion.

“I love you guys” You were about to keel over from his cuteness as you kissed his cheek. He was thankful it was dark. Otherwise, you would have seen his red cheeks.

Jake ruffled heeseung’s hair as he smiled at you both. It felt great to have you both back. He looked at you, and he recognized that smile from anywhere. It was that same smile as the day he first met you, and he knew the y/n he became best friends with back in grade school was finally back, all thanks to a nerdy guy named lee heeseung, who read romance novels and talked to himself about astronomy. “You owe us a rematch,” Jake said once you guys broke the hug, he pulled out a box of playing cards from his pocket.

“Deal!” Heeseung said excitedly while you all walked to his house and upstairs to his room.

Once you all got into his room, you sat in a circled and set up the card game heeseung had two cards, and you had one, while Jake had five.

You just needed one more match to end the game and win. “Does anyone have a queen?” You squinted your eyes, hoping that someone had your matching card.

“I do!” Heeseung shouted happily, even though that meant he lost to you, and Jake giggled at his excitement. “And she’s right here” he put his arm around your waist and kissed your cheek while giving you his second-to-last card.

The beginning was rocky, the middle was terrible, but the future was every bit of bright.

And now that you think back at it, you weren’t everything they said you would be.

FIN.

Thank you for reading. Please reblog and leave feedback. - 🐹

Taglist 🔖 @whoslai @beomibeom @anonant @loviseamms @ice-dandan20 @alienqbrain @djdjjdjfjf @en-may-z @weyukinluv @heeseungsim @kimochiloveshee @yumispky @prestineaugstine @heej43 (bold can’t be tagged :/)

So quick little note even though I don’t normally make these, I wanted to explain a bit of this story. Obviously, this story was made with inspiration from angels like you by Miley Cyrus. Maybe I interpreted the song wrong, but I feel like it was a sad song. I thought about making an ending where they did not get back together, but I figured most of the audience would not really be happy with a sad ending, and neither would I, so I decided to make this one happy anyways. I chose the whole player plot for y/n cause I think it fits the lyrics well. When it says, “I know that you’re wrong for me,” it’s almost like y/n realizing that hee was too good for her, and even though he loves her, she doesn’t feel like she deserves his love after everything she’s done. I feel like this story is pretty self-explanatory. I know the whole story doesn’t replicate the entire song, but I feel like I put a different little spice to it that I hope you guys enjoyed. But yeah, let me know how you liked it, and also, would you guys like more of these little explanations at the end?

[goodfish-bowl]

Check Your Sources

DP Side Hoes Week 2024 Master Post

Day 2: Jazz Fenton - university times

Summary: Jazz has a misunderstanding with a professor over her selected topic for her paper.

Word Count: 1271

AO3 Link

Jazz Fenton had remembered turning in her psychology paper on ecto-psychology, particularly the role of obsessions in the mental state of Ecto-entities, with utmost confidence. She had meant it as a draft for the final paper she intended to published after the completion of her degree. She had already sent in her paper on Ghost Envy for her application to the college, and it was currently in the process of being peer-reviewed, so she needed something new for her current psychology paper. She had compiled the information for it during her last trip to Amity Park, and organized it into this assignment, including multiple citations both within the ecto-science fields and otherwise, to make sure her paper was well-rounded. She had quadruple-checked everything, from her grammar, to her formatting, to the way she cited each of her sources. 

For these reasons, Jazz was absolutely confounded by the red ink and stark zero written at the top of her returned paper. There was a sticky note attached, telling her to talk to the professor after class.

Jazz glanced between her paper, and the professor in horror. During the course of the term, Jazz had developed a deep respect for Dr. Kaplan, and her work on the psychology of people with PTSD. She must have a good reason for giving her such a poor grade, but the fact she received it at all filled her with mortification. She had never gotten a grade so low in her entire education. Jazz needed to know why, but she couldn’t even figure out what she had done wrong in the first place. In the corner of her mind, she had a sinking suspicion, but hoped with everything she was wrong. 

Jazz spent the entire class in a tizzy. Constantly flipping back and forth between the day’s class-work and her paper. Outside of the first page, the rest of the paper was completely unmarked. Frustration began to simmer underneath Jazz’s skin. How was she supposed to fix this if the professor never even told her what she did wrong?! But it would be fine… she was meeting with the teacher after class anyways. 

From that point forward, class moved forward at a crawl. Jazz still couldn’t pay much attention, and found her notes were much less organized than she would prefer. But when the professor dismissed them, Jazz practically darted to Dr. Kaplan’s podium. 

The professor was a thin, wiry woman, dressed professionally, and looked down upon Jazz from behind equally wiry glasses. She gave Jazz a hard-look, almost one of disdain, and it was only the years of facing the nightmares of Amity Park that kept her from physically recoiling. She removed her eyes from Jazz and gazed around the still-emptying classroom. 

“It might be better to have this conversation in my office,” Dr. Kaplan stated, leaving the room, with Jazz practically at her heels. 

Dr. Kaplan’s office was a fair reflection of the woman herself. Neutral colors, her degree on display, and psychology books lining her singular bookshelf. Her desk was dark wood, and chairs cushions a beige leather. The plant sitting by the window was fake. It was all very professional, and at the same time very impersonal and lifeless. Despite the light colors and the sunlight streaming in through the window blinds, the atmosphere was near stifling. 

The professor took her seat behind the desk, and Jazz hesitated, waiting until Dr. Kaplan gestured for her to take a seat. The seats were more stylish than they were comfortable. She gingerly set her paper on the edge of the desk, sitting board-straight in the chair. 

“Ms. Fenton,” Dr. Kaplan practically sighed, “is there a reason you’re not taking my class seriously?”

The question came completely unexpected. “What are you talking about, Dr. Kaplan? I’ve been giving this class my best efforts,” Jazz pleaded. 

Dr. Kaplan frowned, tapping her carefully manicured, neutrally colored nails against her paper. “This assignment says otherwise.”

Jazz frowned, mentally skimming over the paper. “I… I don’t understand. I’ve followed the assignment criteria almost exactly, I’ve even collected first-hand observations.”

Dr. Kaplan looked like she had sucked a lemon. “Ah, yes,” she said flatly. “Ms. Fenton, while you’ve followed the semblance of the rubric for this assignment to a near exceptional degree, a paper on the theoretical psychology of fictional beings is hardly an acceptable paper topic.” 

 Ah, there it was. Jazz had suspected as much, but it still didn’t calm the simmering frustration, boiling into anger under her skin. 

“Honestly,” Dr. Kaplan continued, “for such a brilliant girl, I can only see the submission of a paper like this as a lack of care, and simply unprofessional to boot. To go as far as to make up sources, as properly cited as they are, is simply-”

It was taking everything within Jazz not to blow up in her professor’s face. Her nails were starting to bite into her palms, and her teeth felt sharp in her mouth as she grit them. Had Dr. Kaplan stopped at the whole ‘ghosts aren’t real’ bit, it wouldn’t have been anything she hadn’t heard before. But to accuse her of lying, and making up sources, that was getting a bit too close to unforgivable. She was losing any respect she had for this professor with every word out of her mouth. 

“Those are real sources and I have recordings of the data I collected myself,” Jazz had to keep herself from hissing. “You’re welcome to check my sources. Of course, due to the analog nature of the recordings, they will require a tape player to view. As for the other second and third hand sources, they are all from qualified journals.” 

“I admire the lengths you’ve gone to make your work of fiction as realistic as possible however-”

“Have you heard of Amity Park before?” Jazz could not stop herself from growling out the question, shooting to her feet, unable to take this sitting down any longer. “Have you done any research to support your claim over mine?”

Dr. Kaplan had a deer-in-headlights expression as Jazz towered over her desk, while also simultaneously adding the only color to her entire office through the reddening of her face. “Are you delusional? Ghosts aren’t real.”

Jazz felt what little ectoplasm that lived under her skin hum in tune with her rage as she slammed a hand down onto the desk, crinkling her paper underneath her wrath. This wasn’t about the grade anymore.

 “Ecto-science is a pseudo-science at worst. It is young and mostly unexplored, but it is hardly fictional. Psychology used to occupy the very same space not too long ago. If you had done any research to check your biases, you would have found this out.” 

Something was burning. 

Jazz quickly snatched her paper back into her hands, gritting her teeth, and reigning in her anger as fast as she could. She cleared her throat hard enough for it to sound like a snarl. 

“It appears your classroom will no longer be a conductive learning environment for me,” Jazz spoke evenly, tone carefully measured. “It would do you well to actually look into the topics your students write about.”

Jazz collected her things, already mentally filing out the required paperwork and emails to the Registar’s Office to have her transferred to a different class. She moved to the doorway and gave her professor a polite nod, ignoring the gobsmacked look on Dr. Kalplan’s face. 

“Have a nice afternoon, Professor.”

Jazz fled the room, dead set in ignoring the hand-shaped burn she had left on her professor’s desk and the smoldering paper in her hands.

[signedeclipse]

May I please request fluffy and nsfw headcanons hantengu ( and his other forms) with chubby fem s/o? Please and thank you.

Hantengu [X Reader]

In which Hantengu and his clones enjoy their s/o to their fullest.

Hantengu may be horrified, even of literally standing, but he will go to great lengths to make sure other demons don't even so much as know you exist

Think of a hidden away home where you are safe from nosey demon slayers, something he can easily protect from other of his kind and his enemies

The thought of you hurt just kills him, and he climbed the ranks a lot just by having the mindset of living for you

When you're alone, Hantengu is a very possessive person due to his jealousy and envy

He wants you to feel good, he wants to see you depend on him, he knows he could easily overpower you and dangles that over your head, albeit slightly unknowingly

He'll wrap you in his own silky clothes, just to praise your gorgeous body; lots of light scratch marks from his claws

Kind of a sugar daddy energy but he's lovely

Sekido despises his clones and other people, so he is happy just sitting in a room with you alone

You give him peace, and he loves when you'll run your hands through his hair or wash it for him because it helps ease his near permanent headache

You're soft and warm, unlike most the cold stone like individuals he meets, so he likes to rest his head on your chest

Behind closed doors? You know how some guys smack their s/o's ass when they walk by? He lightly zaps yours just to see you jump

Jealous/hate fucking is real with this one, but 10x worse than Hantengu

He wants to see hickeys the darkest they can get, he wants to see you clinging to him that your nails are breaking into his skin, he wants to protect and fuck you into the bed until you can't move

Karaku just adores seeing you fawn over his body

I mean, he mostly shows it off for you, and he loves feeling your fragile hands trace him all over

He doesn't purr but he makes little hissing noises as a way of showing he's happy and really relaxed

While he may be quite the kinky one, nothing beats having you sat on his lap cockwarming him

Seeing you get all flustered and embarrassed when you try to ride him while he stares straight at you only makes him harder

He loves his strength, because he knows no one else could treat you this good, he'd never let them

No, no he won't move his hips, if you want him so bad surely you can fuck yourself onto his cock, come on!

If you frustrate him enough, he'll pin your thighs down and fuck you so hard you'll lose your sight for a couple of minutes

Aizetsu really enjoys being all tangled up with you; he wants to have your arms linked, hands held, so on

He gets really silent once he has you defending him from any of the clones usual harassments, and appreciates you for seeing the good in him

In bed, he's the kind to 'pity' you with his words

"You poor thing, it feels so good you're crying...my poor weak girl can't handle it, can she?"

He'll be physically gentle with you, not much marking or bites, but he will overwhelm you until your eyes are so full of tears because he just loves seeing it

Urogi is just so sleepy with you what can I say

He expels so much energy flying, fighting, using his attack and bickering with his clones that once he's alone with you he just wants you to sleep with him

His wings are very strong but when new feathers come in he likes when you take the time to prune him and break the new feathers shells for him

Might smack you with his wing lightly because he thinks you make a funny noise when you get a face full of feathers

When he gets into a sort of 'heat', he just loves fucking you roughly, hell he will do it out in a wild if he's really feeling it, he wants to get dirty

Just wrap his wings around you so you're nice and snug against him, unable to crawl away as he feels you spasm on his cock for the nth time 

he is very light so it's a lot easier for you to overpower him but he doesn't mind introducing restraints if he needs to

Authors Note - I love Hantengu so much and I have really wanted to get my thoughts out on the clones because a lot of the things I see about them just don't rub me how I would like! Thank you for requesting and please enjoy, Anon!

[katakaluptastrophy]

John didn't just make Alecto look like Barbie:

From my blood and bone and vomit I conjured up a beautiful labyrinth to house you in. I was terrified you’d find some way to escape before I was done. I made you look like a Christmas-tree fairy … I made you look like a Renaissance angel … I made you Adam and Eve … Galatea. Barbie. Frankenstein’s monster with long yellow hair.

Speaking of Frankenstein’s monster and Adam, here's said monster's own words:

Remember that I am thy creature; I ought to be thy Adam, but I am rather the fallen angel, whom thou drivest from joy for no misdeed. Everywhere I see bliss, from which I alone am irrevocably excluded. I was benevolent and good; misery made me a fiend.

And later, on reading Paradise Lost, he says:

It moved every feeling of wonder and awe that the picture of an omnipotent God warring with his creatures was capable of exciting. I often referred the several situations, as their similarity struck me, to my own. Like Adam, I was apparently united by no link to any other being in existence; but his state was far different from mine in every other respect.

Poor Alecto, who was made as Adam but became the Satan of Jod's warped religion. Frankenstein’s monster would empathise:

Many times I considered Satan as the fitter emblem of my condition, for often, like him, when I viewed the bliss of my protectors, the bitter gall of envy rose within me.

[punkeropercyjackson]

Percy Jackson has tgirl swag

Potrayed as the best hero ever in-universe because she defies traditional manhood and it's just who she is and can't help being which doubles as autistic/audhd with no masking ability coding and irl transfeminism and autism largely overlap

Nonstop abused by men her whole life and a mama's girl who's friends were all girls growing up except an effeminate boy she stood up for against bullies and has a magic mental link with from how close they are in completely platonic friendship and a canon gay boy who had a crush on her until he realized she's not the ideal man he thought she was and she compared her treatment of him to acting like a/her mom and they have the middle brother/eldest daughter dynamic

Wears hoodies all the time

Dad is Poseidon-the sea has a lot of femininity to it and he told her 'the sea does not like to be restrained'

Punk but subculturally instead of an aesthetic poser

Gender envy towards Thalia and Annabeth,who is punk in lifestyle AND aesthetic and who is described as 'like a princess'(Poseidon is the king of Atlantis so Percy is an actual princess)

Thalia has tgirl swag too and Annabeth is played by Leah Jeffries in the show while Book!Percy is black-coded

Dated Rachel,a girlypop neurotic activist artist,but they broke up on good terms and became even closer friends afterwards

Horse girl with a transmasc Horse(Blackjack was a mare in Som but a stallion in TTC)

Her foil,Luke,is a physically abled allistic conventionally attractive blonde blue eyed cishet white man that constantly talked down to her about how he's more of a radicalist than her and had a harder life even though he was sheltered in a literal fantasy land for years where everybody worshipped him while Percy grew up friendless,poor,abused by her stepdad and bullied at her schools to the point she got kicked of 6 at 12 for how much of a bully beater she was and is an anarchist and intersectionalist with an overt sense of community and 11+ books worth of street cred and he was also a serial pedophile and had a lot of subtext of being into her and parallels to his relathionships with his other victims

Her other side of the same coin is Jason,an ex-wolfkid turned dorky team dad who's a paragon of positive and healthy masculininity and his arc is about creating a new self after loosing his old one everybody in his original life knows but he dosen't and they instantly became best friends with romantic chemistry out of being opposites yet the same and their friends poke fun at them for how obvious and quickly they got attached and they're black cat gf x golden retriver bf,Team Parents,hothead gf x chill bf and most popular guy x outcast girl where the girl is actually way cooler and Jason's butch ex-girlfriend said Percy is unimpressive in terms of masculinity compared to him

And Percy's other pseudo-kid(and Jason's)alongside Nico is Hazel,who's got the classic 'ressurection as a metaphor for transition' storyline and her femininity including how she acts alongside the gender presentation part is baby black transfem supreme and her life was basically a 40s version of Percy's earlier life

Loves burgers,skateboarding and cartoons

Obsessed with blue,considered a 'boy' color but it comes from her mom

Would totes have a blahaj and a strong video games interest.You see it too,right?

Men describe her as intimidating and off-putting,women describe her as enchanting and comforting(/ref to that fish meme)

Implied to want to present femininely at multiple points but dosen't reach out of fear of being ridiculed because she's 'supposed' to be male

Is the 'cool hot alt girl with a snarky bitter outside and a soft gooey inside who's the Team Mom and super capable and experienced' trope

But everybody in the fandom turns her into the 'Just Some Boy dumbass boyloser manchild' trope so they can deny she's unconventional and expectional

Named Percy.Percy isn't a greek name or a geek name,it's a girl name

[stvrpst]

Bummy shippers are some of the weakest links I've ever seen in a fandom😭 Imagine being a die-hard buddie shipper for years just to give up when the writers throw buck at yet another romance with little chemistry or buildup simply because Tommy is a guy.

I'm glad Buck can explore this side of himself, but that doesn't mean I'm going to settle with a lazy and inadequate excuse for LGBT representation. Have your opinions, but the writers could have handled Buck's storyline far better, and it's clear they're being lazy about it because Oliver has been so fucking silent about the entire relationship as a whole.

There is a difference between shipping gay couples and being borderline fetishistic. You're nasty if you're shipping only to see two men kiss and fuck, rather than for the important reasons, to see a beautiful queer story with chemistry, depth, and buildup between the two

Which I'm sure half of bummy shippers are guilty of. Because bummy literally has the same build and chemistry as all of Buck's previous relationships, if not less. The same relationships you were complaining about weeks ago.

I thought y’all said we needed to stop putting buck in relationships that lacked chemistry and build up?💀

Why is it okay now? Cuz Tommy’s a man? I hope y’all are aware of how stupid y’all’s asses sound.

Cuz to claim Tommy is complex, or even has an ounce of characterization is absolutely insane, and hypocritical. His only attributes is him being a racist misogynistic asshole, and a borderline boring ass character.

And news flash! just because people want to see a realistic, queer, slow burn romance that isn’t rushed or built off of envy and jealousy, doesn’t make them homophobic. It has nothing to do with homophobia, it’s about chemistry and depth, and the relationship as whole. I could give less of a fuck if tommy is a man.

People can have their opinions and it doesn’t mean they’re homophobic just because they clocked the fact that the rep media is pushing is repetitive and shitty. It just means people are not wiling to settle for just two guys kissing. We want more then that.

"Why can't we just enjoy this!" Because it’s people like you who make media feel comfortable enough to hurl poor excuses of LGBTQ representation at us.

you're a bunch of weak fucking links who fold at just a fraction of poorly written stories about a man kissing another man, rather than advocating for authentic, original, compelling, and well-written representation for us.

And then you have the nerve to whine about our poor media reputation. You are the reason why. They see you folding at a man kissing a man and decide to just throw it in our faces without putting in the effort, like "Here!" "Now shut up!"

Because you don’t pressure them enough to actually look into and understand genuine queer representation. Y’all drool and foam from the mouth at just the thought of two men kissing or fucking, and that’s what they give us.

It's obvious that the "rep" we got was shit, because if it was good, why is half the rep y’all think we got, just made up headcanons? Why do you have to pay $200 for someone to discuss it and provide headcanons? Why is Tommy's entire non-existent personality based on headcanons that are neither canon nor depicted in the show?

Why is the relationship in general on Twitter and here primarily made up of headcanons? I promise you, if the representation was really that good, you wouldn't have to pay $200. If Tommy had true complexity and characterization, you wouldn't need to create all of these headcanons because it would’ve been displayed on the show instead.

If the representation was that good, Lou wouldn’t have deluded y’all with all these headcanons. He wouldn’t need to, cuz it would’ve been shown on the show. But alas, we got jack fucking shit, and now y’all have to rely on headcanons to give this relationship some substance and legs to stand on.

Like this isn’t about ships, and whose better or whatever the fuck. This is about getting good representation in media. This is about getting beautiful, complex, queer stories, which Buddie already had the foundation for.

And instead of the writers taking the perfect opportunity to tell a beautiful story that could’ve been told between the two, the writers decided to throw in a random ass white man with zero characteristics or chemistry with Buck. That’s why people are upset.

“They’re just mad because it’s not their ship!” and they have every right to be mad that it’s not their ship, because unlike yours, their ship had all the key components and foundational build that the writers could’ve used to bring a beautiful queer story to life. But alas, they took the easy way out.

It’s a reasonable response.

I don't understand criticizing and mocking people because they're outraged that the writers fumbled an opportunity to show accurate representation in media. I do not understand how the responses to the writer's poorly written storyline is homophobic.

I really don’t.

Also, some of us are tired of seeing the same boring ass gay white couples over and over. That shit is repetitive. Some of us, who are POC or even just white, want to witness a beautiful interracial queer couple. It's not all about your queer, white ass. The world already revolves around you. Excuse us for wanting to see some interracial queer representation.

Pushing for greater queer POC representation is not homophobic.

Do you know what is homophobic and racist tho? Being actively opposed to having an openly queer Mexican lead character because the idea threatens your bland ass, white ass ship.

So you'd rather keep them straight, knowing that there are Mexican and Latino queer fans that identify with Eddie and see him as a comfort character. But let's rescind the representation they could get so that another white queer couple in the media can capture their attention.

[copperbadge]

I'm starting to think one reason (of many) you're such a good writer is you think in words instead of mental images. It could make it easier to express yourself in words to other people. When I write I have to try to fully express what's on in the three dimensional, surround sound smellovision cinema in my head, and I will never be able to do that.

I do wonder -- whether for good or ill it has definitely had an impact. (For new readers, I have aphantasia, the lack of a "mental eye" or inner visual world, which you can read more about in the "aphantasia fantasia" tag; it's disproportionately common to neurodiverse individuals, along with poor autobiographical memory). I don't know if it's better training for expression, because without knowing how words invoke mental images I don't really know how effective I'm being, but I think it does make for easier first drafts. And probably some of the popularity of my fanfic in specific is that it allows people to project a good deal onto the story/characters, because I tend to keep the visual details vague.

One of the longest-running complaints about my work is that it's much of a muchness, all my characterizations and stories are the same. While on the one hand that's obviously not a compliment, I think that is also attached to the fact that I'm not very visually specific, so not entirely my fault; if people are reading the same things into my work over and over it's probably because of a lack of imagination on their part as well. (I've tried to work on this as a skill, but I'm aware that haters gonna hate, so I don't take envy-driven criticism too much to heart anymore.) I think it's less homogeneity than it is simple vagueness.

But yeah also I would imagine if you're driven to give a very specific visual impression it would be SUPER frustrating if you feel like you can't, either because there aren't words or because you don't feel you have the skills yet. A lot of skill in writing is just practice, but "just practice" is a real minimizing phrase. I'm not someone who subscribes to the idea that talent doesn't matter, because I think it does; I think it's much easier to practice when you derive pleasure from the thing you're practicing, which I think is linked to talent.

Yeah, I dunno. Certainly it explains why most of my early adult writing was in theatre, where you're leaving a lot up to the designers and director in any case.

Rutherford & Fry did a podcast episode about aphantasia that I should probably get back to listening to, but I can't listen to much of it at once; some of it is the sense of being perceived, but some of it is also envy, because they talk to someone who has aphantasia but not ADHD and she's like "Yeah my mind is super quiet, it's nice" and I may not see images or hear noises in my head but still somehow manage a truly inconvenient level of chaos there. :D

[severedfromthesource]

Heart of the Forge

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Adam's heart keeps the Pennydurren running-Tav keeps Adam's heart running. Original concept by @emptycalories-splitlip. This part features stething, mild cardiophilia, semi visible hearts. It's a lot of set up for resus and whump down the line.

Lives depend on you.

The little note greeted Gustav every morning, and every morning, he lay in his bunk to stare at it, taped to the ceiling above him. Some days he greeted it with more resentment than others, but most days it was just reiterating what he already felt deep down. The weight of at least a thousand workers, families, and passengers depended on him keeping the Forge going. So he did.

He scrubbed at his hair and slid into his work jumpsuit, his work boots, and slipped a cigarette between his lips as he left his quarters. His bedroom was nearest the engine room, so it was always muggy and damp with heat, the kind that not even sweat could fully cool off. They were in the bowels of the Pennydarren, tucked under the first link of the chain of cabs that, to Gustav, seemed to go on forever. It was impossible to tell really; only fog divers were allowed outside the train. Not unlike saturation divers of old, they had to be acclimated to survive out in the dense fog outside the reinforced steel walls of the Pennydarren in order to patch holes in her hull. Again, he thought of the poor shmucks going crazy in the diving bells, and again he was thankful for the job he had in engineering.

He waved and greeted the others working on the machinery, the walls tens of feet high, some with tall enough components a man had to be hoisted by a pulley to work on the mechanisms. Another job he didn’t envy. They all nodded respectfully back. Another perk of the job compared to others. Folks knew their lives depended on him too. If the engine went dark, they’d be swallowed up in the fog.

Adam was already on the walker as he drew nearer the panel of glass separating them. “Good morning, Tav,” he said, a little out of breath. Tav checked his watch. Adam's skin glistened with sweat, and judging by the time he was nearing the end of his mandatory exercise routine. “What’s so good about it?” he said, stubbing his cigarette out on the wall, scorched black in one spot from this ritual of his. The door slid open between them and he stepped through as Adam flashed him that warm smile. “We could be in the back of the train shoveling shit.” “Fair enough.” He grabbed his tattered wheelie chair and rolled it over to the other man’s side. “Tell me a joke,” Adam said as the walker under his feet slowed and finally stopped, a panel sliding back over it.

He retrieved a small spiral notebook from his breast pocket and a pen, clicking it a few times. “Why was the politician out of breath?” He said as a metal chair, or throne, as it had always seemed to him, shaped out of riveted paneling in the floor underneath the other man and Adam sat as well. “I don’t know,” he said, already smiling. “He was running for office.” said Tav.

Adam laughed, a good natured laugh that wrinkled his eyes to slits and showed off his pearly teeth. “I like that one.” “You always like them.” Tav turned to his equipment laid out nearby. He rolled over behind Adam and began checking the ports protruding from his back. Six of them, three on each side, starting at his shoulder blades and going down in tighter circles to the small of his back. From these, huge ropes of cable hung up into the engine, which hummed with orange and yellow fire from the ever burning fuel within. The fire was mimicked in Adam’s chest, which glowed bright as an xray. His ribs, cartilage, and organs cast shadows, along with the webbing of nerves and veins where the glow turned sort of reddish from the thin tissue. His heart was a flashlight burning from inside his body. It was Tav’s job to keep that heart in good order. Adam, similarly, had only one job: keep his heart beating strongly.

Being that this was entirely an unconscious matter he had no real control over, he did as he was asked. He allowed himself to be poked and prodded. He did his cardio every day without fail, as well as strength exercises to keep his body in peak form, though it had once seemed a waste to have a perfect body when one was relegated to however long the cables reached. He ate the disgusting nutrient slurry they provided which kept his every hormonal and blood level in balance. He read when there was downtime.

Mostly, he watched Tav. He was the only one allowed inside the inner chamber of the Forge, outside of skittish Fetchers who brought him his meals and supplies and the engineer who sometimes worked on the engine. On his birthday, they let his mother visit.

Where Adam was all tone and muscle from a life where his every physical need was met, Tav was scrawny and underfed. His head was shaved on the sides, and tattoos of every shape and color peeked out from the edges of his clothes. He was literally stamped by an existence outside the walls of the chamber which had been most of Adam’s life. He drank. He smoked. He lived beyond the twenty feet of cable tethering Adam to the life of a Forge. He was not stuck with an umbilical cord to an unfeeling mother made of bolts and steel.

He went through his checklist (Shortness of breath? No. Deficiency cravings? No. Muscle cramps or weakness? No. Fatigue? Always, he’d secretly wanted to say. No.) and when he was done, he retrieved his stethoscope. He rolled the chair close enough their knees touched and Adam suppressed a shiver at the minor point of contact. The bell was warm where it had sat between Tav’s palms and he gave the diaphragm one last warm breath before settling the circular piece of metal under his nipple, at the apex of his heart. He pressed two fingers against his throat to feel the pulse at his carotid. This was the part he liked the best, never knowing that Tav liked it too. He lingered always a bit too long when he had the excuse to touch him.

Tav’s eyes flicked up to watch his heart moving, silhouetted by the light behind his ribs. There was a small surgical scar down his sternum, the only mark on his body, from where he had been implanted with the spark that made him a Forge. He’d been a child, picked out of many, to serve as the new heart of the train. Tav had been in that crop of children too, but he was always skinny and too sickly to be of any use. Once, he’d envied that Adam had been made special. After years as his Keeper, he no longer envied him. He situated it over the tricuspid point between the swell of Adam's pectorals. His heart beat steadily against the steth, louder in his ears now that he was closer to a valve as it opened and closed with each pulse of blood. He watched the shadow of his heart as it moved in his chest, contracting and expanding in tandem with the beat he heard swelling in his ears.

"What's new topside?" he asked as Tav lifted the bell to reposition again. He sat the diaphragm against the aortic site near his collarbone, his hand drifting down to touch the pulse at his wrist as well. "Well," sighed Tav, "Nothing, as per the usual. Some weirdo zealots have been tagging the mess hall again. Separatists or whatever." "The radio was talking about them." "It's all the radio is talking about because it's the only thing happening. The people in the lower cars are having a tizzy about it because they're told it's this big uprising, but it's nothing. Couple kids getting a hold of spray paint. Deep breath." Adam obliged. Then he said, "Do they really think we could survive out there? In the fog?" "Who knows what they believe. Kooky shit, mostly. Bet none of them have spoken to any of the divers. Stick any one of them in one of those diving bells for an hour, they'll stop yapping about leaving the trains pretty quickly."

Adam looked around at his chambers and wondered if the diving bells were much smaller, or much more claustrophobic than his own living quarters. It was hard to imagine a place being smaller. He was quiet as the stethoscope was pressed to both sides of his neck and the sequence repeated with the bell of the stethoscope. When Tav made a 'come here' gesture with two fingers at the end of it, he sat up. His head settled in against the smaller man's shoulder as he stethed points around his ribs and his back. He breathed in steadily and deeply, and if he noticed Tav turning his face in towards his neck to soak in his body heat, even in the sweltering humidity of the engine room, neither of them said anything. He didn't want to bring attention to it and break the spell. Tav smelled like whiskey and smoke. He turned in towards him as well. "Deep breath for me." Adam drew it in through his nose, so close now to Tav's skin he was almost touching his cheek.

"It's picking up a bit," said the Keeper, bringing his other hand up to touch Adam's shoulder. "Try to relax." How could he? There was no hiding how the other man affected him. His traitorous heart wanted to bust from his chest and leap into his hands. Do something with me, do anything, I'm yours. Just make me useful to you. He swallowed in a dry throat. Behind them, the engine's cradle glowed a little bit brighter. In the other cars, the lights warmed and brightened, and a few people had to shield their eyes for a moment before the regulators kicked in and diverted the unexpected power surge into other channels. He hated knowing every denizen of the Pennydurren knew when his heart was speeding up. During his exercise sessions, the engineers knew to be on the lookout for surges, but outside of those allotted times, it was a cause of concern. More often than not it ended with his Keeper being sent in, and how was he supposed to explain himself to the man responsible for his racing heart? How could he look at Tav and confess he had been curled on his side in his simple cot, taking himself into his hand, thinking of those inked hands roaming over his body and auscultating his pounding heart?

He squeezed his eyes shut and imagined the bulbs in the third car market glowing hot, imagined that everyone knew his thoughts as soon as they looked at the little suns above their heads, and he took a series of deep breaths. Eventually, his heartrate steadied.

"There we go," Tav said softly, his fingers curling in against Adam's waves of dark brown hair. "Much better." Adam's hands itched to be around him. Instead they hung at his sides. His head laid fully against his Keeper's narrow shoulder. He thought again of all the time Tav spent with him. Not just these checkups, but most times he was the one to bring him meals. The one who doled out his medication. The one who talked him down from panic attacks and nightmares. He'd soothe him and stroke his brow until his heart no longer felt like it was going to pop, and he had never asked for anything from him. Could ask nothing of him, really. What more could Adam give him than a working train? He'd given him his heart; to the Pennydurren, that was all he could give.

"Do you resent me?" he asked suddenly. He felt Tav stiffen a bit under him and the other man shouldered an earpiece out. "Do I what?" Adam squeezed his eyes shut. He wanted to swallow those words the moment they'd hit the air. But they couldn't be retrieved now. He took a shaky breath and asked again, "Do you resent me? You... you're always at my beck and call. You have to take care of me more than anyone else. You can't really live your life, you're... leashed to me."

Tav leaned back, taking him by the shoulders. "Adam. The hell are you talking about?" When he opened his mouth to answer, he shook his head, taking him by the chin to make him look up. "No. No, of course I don't resent you. I could never. You think I'm stuck here?" He scoffed. "Buddy, I pop pills in your mouth and listen to your heart once a week. I'm not so irreplaceable I couldn't ask for a different station." "But-" Tav squeezed his cheeks towards his mouth before he could protest. "I like taking care of you. I like talking with you. You're my friend. You're..." He looked down into those twinkling doe eyes and his breath faltered a bit. Adam had the most open, earnest eyes of anyone he had ever met. He didn't know how to lie. He had never been hurt and he had never hurt anyone in turn. And yes, he was more than a friend. But Tav wasn't like him. He hurt people, people he even cared about. He didn't want Adam to be one of those people. So he smoothed his hair away from his forehead and said in a low voice, "You're my best friend. And I'll be pissed if you think otherwise again. So... stop acting like you're some burden on me."

He pressed his forehead against Tav's palm, nodding. "Okay..." He pushed his head back a bit until their eyes met. "Hey," said Tav, "What do you get from a pampered cow?" The corners of the Forge's lips turned up and he shrugged wordlessly. He scrubbed his hand over his hair. "Spoiled milk." Adam scoffed, "That one's stupid." "They're all stupid."

But he liked them anyway.

As their session for the day came to a close, Adam leaned back in his chair, the cables running from his back slotting easily into the grooves cut into the back, and watched his Keeper leave. Tav gave him a little wave over the shoulder. Neither said what was really on their mind. As one went to sulk in his bunk and the other leaned his head back to run every touch over in his mind, neither could imagine the turmoil brewing in the lower cars. They couldn't know how far some people were willing to go to try and escape the confines of the Pennydurren.

They didn't see a boy smuggled into the Fetchers, who ferried the Forge food and any other amenity he would need. Nor could they see the little package of white powder he surreptitiously slipped into Adam's usual medication for that evening.

[morbidanthem]

King of Envy - 1,184 Words [A03 Link]

Leviathan X Fem!MC

This has become a rather common occurrence for you.

You found yourself pacing back and forth, huffing and complaining to no one, as you were fuming at what had just happened to you.

How is it that you are kidnapped, once again, as you stared angrily at the ornate carvings on the wall of the Hades Palace.

Foras offered his sympathy, as he locked you in this room with him to await for Leviathan to show himself.

Not enough sympathy to let you go, it seems.

He just watched you pace in the room, not offering much solace beyond his presents, since he knows there isn’t much he can offer in terms of comfort to you.

He has learned that there isn't much he can say to bring you calm in these kinds of situations.

He understood objectively why you have to leave Hades, and how jarring it can be to bring you back this way, but it had to be done in order to ensure your safety here in Hell!

No one else understood the dangers out there better than Leviathan, so Foras knew that this was for the greater good, even if it caused you anguish and discomfort.

Besides, he surmised that you were going to be elated by the surprise His Majesty has in store! Soon, all your anxiety will just melt away, and then you’ll stay in Hades here with them! No more having to travel in secret!

On your end it had felt like you had been in this room forever, and you were starting to get a little stir crazy as you sat down on one of the chairs and began to bounce your leg to try and keep yourself stimulated.

You can't even remember how many times your eyes have traced the intricate carvings on the walls, in fact, it kind of irritates you thinking about how something so beautiful will now be associated with something so terrible.

“Must you be so annoying?” A beautiful voice sung out, as the door to the room slammed open then shut, as Leviathan walked into the room.

“I haven't even done anything yet!” You spoke loudly, standing up as the king approached you.

He scoffed at your perceived cluelessness, looking down at your legs as if silently scolding you for the tapping you were doing earlier.

You just rolled your eyes, as you turned your body away from him, making sure to puff out your cheeks and jut your lips out in a pout.

He didn't appreciate that, as he clicked his tongue loudly while berating you with, “you're such a troublesome and ungrateful human.”

“Ungrateful?!” You huffed, turning swiftly to face him once more. “You kidnapped me against my will, and then made me wait in here with poor Foras for a very long time!”

You were very close to stomping your foot like a petulant teenager throwing a tantrum.

At your words, Leviathan's stare turned sour, as you flinched and backed up a little bit away from him.

You know Solomon said that you needed to match Leviathan's energy, but that felt like such an insurmountable task, especially considering he is the definition of “if looks could kill”.

“You dare question the King of Hades’ action?” He spoke, as you saw his hand twitch with a desire to see you hang for your words.

This was getting you nowhere.

“What do you want, Leviathan?” You asked, leaning against one of the walls as you looked over to the demon.

“His Majesty Leviathan wishes for you to have the honor of bearing his offspring.” Foras said, with a dreamy tone in his voice as he looked as happy as can be.

“Umm?” You hummed out, mouth agape as you stared up at Leviathan with a quizzical expression.

“Close your mouth, you look abhorrent.” Leviathan criticized, clicking his tongue again as he turned away in disgust.

You said nothing, as you closed your mouth, but continued your unabashed stare at Leviathan.

There was no denying that he was absolutely gorgeous- his hair looked so silky and smooth, his body was perfectly proportioned, and his skin was so flawless that it glistened in the light.

That's not even mentioning his incredible two toned eyes.

Any child of his would no doubt end up being just as breathtaking as he is.

You would just hope that they wouldn’t inherit his sour personality.

“Leviathan, what brought this up all of the sudden?” You asked, taking a step closer to him as he refused to look at you.

“Leave.” He spoke to Foras, who simply bowed and left the room without a fuss.

"Are you alright?” You asked, once the two of you were alone.

“Why wouldn't I be? Don't pry into other people's business.” He scolded, now looking directly at you as he folded his arms over his chest.

You sighed, rubbing your face in frustration, as you tried your best to communicate with the grumpy ruler.

He never made it easy for you, though.

“Leviathan.” You spoke his name softly to get his attention, as you walked up closer to him to try and take control of the situation.

Honesty is what was needed here, not hostility or anger.

“I am flattered you asked me, I've always wanted a family. Mine was taken away from me, so it's a little scary for me to be thinking about this now while we're in the middle of this angel conflict.”

You reach out to grab his gloved hand, as you hear him suck in a breath, as you kiss his middle finger.

You had no idea where this bravery came from, but you are going to roll with it.

“Let's fix Hell first, get rid of the threat that is looming over us, then we can talk about having a family.” You said, using your thumb to stroke his hand while you tilted your gaze to look up at him.

You could hear his sharp breathing, as he rolled his words over in his head to make sure he heard you right.

“I understand.” He said, keeping it short as he embraced you to him. “However, it still disgusts me that others wish the same from you.”

He was back, as he grabbed your face roughly in his hand, squeezing your cheeks to the point that it was painful.

You squeaked, as you felt him lift you up to sit you on top of the writing desk in the room.

“I can't- can't change that!” You tried saying, as you did your best to push him away from you.

“No, you can't.” He said, releasing your face enough for him to smash his lips roughly onto yours.

It didn't take long for him to turn sloppy, as he pushed your mouth open with his tongue, making you gag as he delved deep into your mouth.

“I cannot change how others think of you, but I can force you to only think of me.” He threatened, as he was grinding his hips into you.

You were going to be here for a while, it seems.

[shiftintochange]

Why do fans hate their favorite celebrities WAGS?

In a world where celebrity worship blurs the lines between reality and fantasy, the allure of a male idol can transform into a battleground of envy and resentment for his female admirers.

Fans tend to idealize and create parasocial relationships with celebrities in general, but it may be worse when it is a female fan-male celebrity relationship. Female fans may deeply identify with the male celebrity, projecting their own desires and wishes onto him, occasionally even to the point where they idolize him and create a version of their token celebrity in their head. Sometimes, we view celebrities as some kind of superior being, but in reality, the male celebrity you idealize is just a man. He is just a regular person like you, and no matter how much media you consume related to said celebrity, you will never truly know the inner workings of this person or how they act when they are in private.

When fans see their favorite male celebrity with another woman, it triggers a response of jealousy as they wish to be in her place. Oftentimes, I see a lot of fans painting the female partner in a negative light, whether that be starting rumors or posting hateful videos on the internet. I strongly believe any negative feelings towards the female partner could stem from projecting their own insecurities onto her. These fans have wished to be in the female's position for probably as long as they have ‘known’ the male celebrity. This makes it easier to project their own insecurities onto the poor woman. Some fans might have even found themselves constructing a fantasy relationship with the celebrity in their minds where they imagine themselves as the ideal partner, so someone else coming in and shattering their fantasy upsets them. This obviously leads to serious jealousy, resentment, and even genuine hatred towards the celebrity's partner.

This was a very very short blog post, but I am hoping to type up a longer one soon and publish it somewhere else. If I do, I'll definitely link it here for you guys, if you enjoyed this of course :)

[zakanakai]

So I did a funny spreadsheet

I wanted to count exactly how much of each sin each of the Sinners had, and how it reflects on their story.

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1GiO4F1Sf8soycIDIgDc9XrpptVBIghkxaaFGRCXSOQI/edit#gid=0

Heres the Spreadsheet,

The numbers are slightly weighted; with Skill 1 being 1 point, Skill 2 being 2 points, and Skill 3 being 3 points.

more of me talking below the cutoff, if you don’t wanna click a link;

Yi Sang:

Yi Sang’s primary sin is Sloth at 11. This boy does not want to move, with Pride at 6. Noteworthy is that this boy is completely Lustless. Has a little in all the other sins, but Lust? 0. Absolutely none.

Matches his Default EGO

Faust:

Faust’s primary sin is Envy at 7, with Gloom at 6. She has a little in every sin, but the interesting detail is that None of her IDs have any sins the same as her Default ID and Ego.

Does not match her Default EGO

Don Quixote:

Don has a tie for First in her Primary Sin, with both Lust and Envy at an 8, with a schmattering in the other sins. However she has 0 Sloth and 0 Pride; This Girl moves, and is humble, even in her delusion.

Matches her Default EGO

Ryoshu:

Ryoshu has a standout primary sin in Blood Lust at a 9, while her next closest is Gluttony at a 6. This gurl has 0 in Gloom however, not depressed at all. She only had 2 in Envy before her Red Eye EGOs came out

Matches her Default EGO

Meursault:

Meursault surprised me with his primary sin being Pride at a surprising 11, with his second being Sloth at 8. While yes, his default EGO is also Pride, I don’t know, it still surprised me. This man has 0 in Gluttony however, and only 1 in Lust.

Matches his Default EGO.

Hong Lu:

Hong Lu has surprisingly high scores in both Lust and Sloth, with Lust in first at 9 and Sloth on its heels in 2nd at 8.

His last places are Envy (makes sense) and Gloom, which is default EGO is in. I would have thought he would have more in Gloom, but the chart proves me wrong.

Does not match his Default EGO

Heathcliff:

We have THE KING of Envy here! At the highest score of 12, Envy is his highest sin, but we also have a very lusty fellow here at 10. I would have thought Wrath would be his second most, but seems not.

He also has 0 in Sloth and Pride, which makes sense for how high his Envy score is.

SUPER Matches his Default EGO, like holy crap.

Ishmael:

Ishmael’s primary sin is Wrath, which you wouldn’t think when you look at her, because shes sassy, but amicable, with Gloom at 7. She has 0 sloth, which makes sense as she is constantly on the move.

With her Wrath being so high, I fear what she has in plan for Ahab.

Somewhat Matches her Default EGO.

Rodion/Rodya:

Rodya’s primary sin is Pride, matching her EGO, with Wrath in second. This makes a lot of sense with her story, and I can understand why the sins are like that. Rodya, like Ishmael, and a few others ahead, has 0 Sloth IDs as well. Which is a surprise for me, she seems like the kinda girl to relax.

Matches her Default EGO

Sinclair:

Sinclair is hella surprising in the fact that his primary sin is Wrath. While making this, I was thinking it would be Gloom, but no! Gloom isn’t even in the top 3! Its Pride in second! and Gluttony, where his Default EGO is, is in last.

Does not match his Default EGO

Outis:

Outis’s primary sin is Inconclusive. So. This is the strange one out of all the sinners. Shes mid-tier in all the sins, with three sins (Lust, Gloom, Pride) maxing out at 6. I’m pretty confused at how to interoperate the numbers.

However! She does have 0 Envy, so..? Shes not envious of any of the other sinners.

Matches? her Default Ego

Gregor:

Last one!

Gregor’s primary sin is Sloth, with Gluttony hot on its heels in second. This surprises me a bit, cause I would think it would be depression Gloom. However the poor bug man has 0 in Pride. Don’t worry bby, you’re my sad wet cat.

Matches his Default EGO.

----------------

Now to write out who has the highest in each sin!

Wrath: Ishmael at 11 Points

Lust: Heathcliff at 10 Points

Sloth: Yi Sang at 11 Points

Gluttony: Gregor at 8 Points

Gloom: Ishmael at 7 Points

Pride: Meursault at 11 Points

Envy: Heathcliff at 11 Points

Oof, that was a long post. thanks for reading the whole way through! I hope the numbers interested you like they did me.

[saintmeghanmarkle]

When you say that Meghan is "manipulating" Harry you are giving her too much credit and him too little agency. by u/OldMenAreGross

When you say that Meghan is "manipulating" Harry you are giving her too much credit and him too little agency. I know some of you Brits (and many non Brits too) might have some feelings of nostalgia because you saw this man grow up and had all kinds of hopes and well wishes towards him but I think you need to be a bit more rational. He never saw you as anything other than paypigs for his lifestyle. He never had any intention to dedicate his life to the wellbeing of your country. He "served" in the military for just a few months 10 years ago and even then he was left in the camp playing Call of Duty while other soldiers put in real work in the field.You need to get over the fact that "old Harry" is not coming back because he never existed. "Old Harry" was a petulant spoiled brat that just didn't yet realise he could make money by airing his dirty laundry in public. Even before Meghan entered the picture he always had envy towards his brother particularly in the matters of money and privilege. When you say that Harry is being manipulated by Meghan you are giving her too much credit.Meghan could not manipulate herself into having any meaningful career in the showbiz (despite being part of it for more than a decade and having all kinds of connections) but all of a sudden she is able to masterfully manipulate one of the most protected people on the planet? If anything her failed career is a testament to how little she could manoeuvre the people around her.I read a lot of comments that go more or less like this: "Poor Harry is forced by Meghan to be an axxhòle! He's just an innocent victim!! If he divorces her he will go back to being a good person!!!" Guys you need to remove your rose-tinted nostalgia goggles and realise your opinion of him was wrong all along.The truth is it wasn't Meghan that "manipulated" Harry into being an idiot. He always was and idiot, Meghan is merely the catalyst for this newly revealed side of Harry. It isn't new, it's just newly revealed. She is a grandiose narcissist who happened to find a fragile narcissist. Two peas in a pod. post link: https://ift.tt/emul1Iq author: OldMenAreGross submitted: November 21, 2023 at 08:38AM via SaintMeghanMarkle on Reddit

[whomst-art-thou-whomst-whomst]

Oh No! Here Comes Trouble: Chuying Meta (via some key aspects of her growth)

If Guangyan is a fussy housecat and Yiyong is a tired puppy, Chuying is a bit like a tenacious bunny (the cop in Zootopia) who doesn’t look like she can throw down but absolutely wants to and will at the slightest provocation (Tbh I think she would be like this regardless of career choice).

I see a lot of posts and have written myself about the coming of age for our two male leads, but make way now for the queen, because Chuying’s development from the start of the show til the end is *chef’s kiss* as her friendship with her fellow disasters and her involvement in the cases evolve and come to change her. It's such a breath of fresh air to get a female lead character who isn't a carelessly added, poorly written and/or demonized figure. She is as complicated and brave and awkward as her bros, and her journey to maturity is oddly beautiful. Emphasis on odd. I especially want to focus on a turning point in her growth, the incident where the trio drinks together to celebrate (Chuying's words) her promotion.

One-Per: Two Years Ago...

Our first impression of Chuying is that she’s bored and feels cramped by her life, a la Belle in Beauty and the Beast. Poor kiddo is stuck at a desk or on light duties as a traffic cop, and the biggest thing in her normal day is setting up a table for a visiting calligrapher--hardly the stuff of Dirty Harry or Sherlock Holmes. We also see hints (similar to Guangyan and Yiyong) of personality traits that Chuying carries into her work that prevent her from actually being a good, positive force within her unit--traits, linked to her obsession for promotion and adventure, that she needs to grow out of: she steals her boss’s chair for an event outside when she could get a chair anywhere, and she’s so absorbed in her envy of the detectives that she isn’t even listening to the statement she’s meant to be taking from someone who looks like they either got beaten up or were in an accident.

It’s a subtle way to show that a.) the person most in the way of Chuying becoming a good detective is Chuying, and b.) she is so focused on her potential advancement that she doesn’t focus on being helpful in her job in the present, although—as Yiyong points out later—there’s a lot of value in her work right there and then. While the viewer can understand feeling stuck and frustrated in a role that you think is stifling your potential, at the start of the drama Chuying is a public servant who isn’t serving the public.

Chuying, Yiyong, and The First Case

There is one hiccup between her first scene and the case in which she first gets involved: she is one of the early people on the scene of the bus crash. The actress absolutely owns that scene, because her face does all the work to tell us this is clearly the most death she’s ever been around, the highest stakes, and her day finally has something happening but it’s bloody and tragic and she can barely do anything to help. But she does do something, as we find out.

Fast forward two years and milady is still bottom of the pile, still OnePer. She reports to a detective for a weird case of some missing body, and wouldn’t you know it, there’s a scruffy little shit lurking on the security feed who looks an awful lot like the person she rescued on the day of the bus crash???

Rewatching their budding partnership is particularly hilarious because Yiyong is so polite(ish) and intimidated by her at the beginning, like, my sweet grumblepup, this won’t last long.

(Also the moment he finds out that she gave him mouth-to-mouth is peak adorable Yiyong.)

Once she recovers from the what-in-the-shit realization that this kid has actually found an animated corpse with a spirit inside, full credit to her that she rolls up her sleeves and gets busy--we see her interest in Yiyong's point of view and that although she teases him for seeming like a delinquent, she respects his theories and follows his lead on a lot of things. In a way, Chuying is one of the first people to ever treat Yiyong seriously as someone who is smart and can do good things.

Chuying, Obsession, and Developing Empathy

Granted, Chuying’s obsession is understandable. In addition to the difficulties of being a female cop in a male-dominated workplace, she also lives with the moniker of OnePer—a constant reminder that she wasn’t good enough to pass the test that would allow promotion.

There’s a chip on her shoulder, one that’s narrowed her focus to Becoming A Detective. She doesn’t initially even focus on the practicalities of the job, or what difference she would or wouldn’t make—it’s about attaining that status.

The above scene, in my mind, is such an important scene for understanding both of these characters, and one of the show's big messages about understanding and empathizing with others. We find out here that Chuying is getting promoted, but that it's only because she managed to find (thanks to Yiyong) and solve (again, in large part thanks to Yiyong) multiple cases. So in her mind, it makes sense to thank him, and to carelessly joke about how meeting him has been so great for her (forgetting the first time she met him was the worst day of his life), and that all of these cases (involving grief and sorrow and loss and suffering) have been so great for her. Chuying isn't mean-spirited here, just thoughtless of her impact on others--and the show wants to tell us, this is an important problem for people in the world who regularly move through it without consideration for others. Chuying's carelessness is our carelessness.

Despite their similar kinds of ambition, one of the big differences between Guangyan and Chuying is that Guangyan, who expresses himself well and is a big thinker, is careful with how he talks, especially depending on who he is speaking to, and he has been unfailingly observant of Yiyong since re-entering his life why is that i wonder. Chuying's instinct is to blurt out her thoughts to everyone, but she is thoughtless about it--she doesn't recognize the effect her words and ideas have on people. This will become A Problem as she comes to confide in a certain shady baker.

So here she is, thanking Yiyong for reincarnating the devil, and he grabs the bottle. I have to tip my cap to these actors, because all three of them perform the hell out of this moment without so much as a single word. Yiyong's actor in particular is absolutely incredible here--the shock, pain, and frustration, along with his attempt to control himself are all in the eyes. He's not trying to hurt her, and he is scarily silent, wordless--the camera focuses on his shaking, clenched hand as he blocks Chuying's efforts to pour herself a drink in toast to their super fun partnership. He's just trying to stop her enjoyment of this awful thing, his eyes are begging her to stop and think about what she's saying.

Meanwhile, Guangyan is worried sick over Yiyong's response and trying to recover the situation--literally, he's catching the alcohol in a cup. Poor Chuying looks surprised and confused. Thanks to constant time spent with Yiyong and a lot of time in his own head, Guangyan has come to be better with feelings, but at this point in the show, Chuying is still focused on herself as the center of things, and while she understands Yiyong thinks differently from her about things, here she genuinely doesn't get what he's worked up about.

That's why I think it's so important when we see her marking down in a calendar to reopen investigation on the closed case they solved that Yiyong wants her to work harder at looking into--it's as though she's between the old and the new Chuying, the old Chuying who will put off doing this unpleasant task right away in favor of her current plans, and the new Chuying who is willing to take the risk of her superiors finding out she's reinvestigating something.

The Worst Baker Ever and the Rise of Detective OnePer

I hate friggin Zhuang Hezhen. And sure, mainly for being a murderous psychopathic creep, but in this post I hate in particular how he uses Chuying to keep track of his own crimes. It's really subtle, how the show does it--from my own criminology studies, I've seen that serial killers like to insert themselves into investigations and psychopaths like interacting with and one-upping/feeling superior to law enforcement. Chuying is a smart person in her own way, but he sneaks under her radar with his dumb baked goods and harmless-seeming demeanor and artful hair/wardrobe.

oh honey, oh no...

It’s something that I think she’ll come to understand Yiyong for—guilt over a situation that she didn’t cause. Because the baker is responsible, and we can only imagine her horror realizing that her innocent conversations with this nice guy who brought baked goods to her workplace paved the road for the museum scene. Imagine finding a person who you can confide in who comforts you and gives you shitty pastry (in an endearing way, i guess), only for them to turn around and use that knowledge to hurt the people you care about, revealing in the process that surprise, your dessert bestie is a psychopathic serial killer.

The guy fooled everyone, but Chuying would likely see it as a failure of her detective skills, because she didn’t see him coming, and when they were in the museum standoff and push came to shove (I'm so sorry, the pun wasn't originally intended) she wasn’t armed, wasn't prepared--wasn't the cop she believed she could be. She couldn’t stop Zhuang Hezhen from throwing Yiyong over the railing, and she couldn’t reach her friend to save him.

I've seen (and obsessed over) a bunch of posts with images of Guangyan's reaction to Yiyong's fall. But we can't discount Chuying's response, although it's quieter and less overwhelming. We see Yiyong with Guangyan much more often than with Chuying as the series progresses, and his growth is easier to trace and more visible--we see him question his career, himself, he's more noticeably introspective. But I think a huge amount of Chuying's maturation to the kind of great detective she can become actually happens in this museum scene, where she's finally called on to execute her duty to protect a citizen and apprehend a criminal. It's up to her. The thing is, we can see now how she's changed. Because looking at the incident as a whole, her bosses won't fault her--as Zhuang Hezhen points out. The new detective caught a serial killer, and did her best to help rescue a civilian, who did in fact survive (in a coma)--they'll be pleased. But she does Not Care at all. Like Guangyan, all distractions of personal glory are gone away from Chuying's mind and she knows what matters to her. Love her for that growth.

When we leave her, Chuying is miles from where she started—she no longer romanticizes detective work because yikes, it’s her actual job now. She is still herself, but wiser and warier, and disillusioned of her grand ideas. No more complaining and confiding in strangers bearing gifts of sugary sweets, no more self-focused caseloads. It doesn't benefit her career to regularly visit a comatose Yiyong and regale him with stories of her work, so when we see her there, it's clear how her priorities have shifted to care about those around her. The weight on her back (the back pain joke is beautifully timed) is her guilt, to some degree, but her optimism is a particular strength in the group--she believes, as does Guangyan, that Yiyong WILL recover. In the typical adventure trio, Yiyong is our Heart/Hero, Guangyan is our Brains, and Chuying is the Muscle.

Raise a toast to the tough, brave woman who grew so much over the course of a few cases and figured out what was important to her. I'm really hoping for a season two where we get to see her as a full-on detective.

[transmutationisms]

Actually turns out I do have a more extensive response to ur thoughts on the addict, notably the point you made abt downers which is so well put. One of the things abt capitalism that lead to cycles of escapist addiction is that those addicts benefit the system because they become optimal consumers. They invigorate economically by consuming drugs as well as excess fueled by intoxication and then as consumers of rehab and detox drugs and programs and medications etc. I think there's something to be said about how Kendall, who due to his wealth has the option of the fantasies of luxury escapism available literally at all times doesn't then go down the pathway of constant numbing thru drugs, especially juxtaposed with rhe pals he makes in austerlitz whose poverty is linked to their types of drugs. Their communal drug use and comfortable social zone under the influence feels like something kendall envies in that moment but like, ultimately takes the wrong lessons from and rapidly distances himself from when it stops making him feel like the coolest guy in the room when roman shows up. That's something I think about a lot while watching the show, like how absurd all their striving feels to me when they have access to so many things capitalism had me "working" for ie luxury time and physical space/land/homes and property but how clear the show is about how many of those things have stopped mattering bc they're always accessible (like how gifts and presents are meaningless to logan). Connor might be the exception in some ways to actually valuing those benefits but he is often ready to let go of the "peace of mind" his ranch gives him in order to receive praise or proximity to power (like his behavior at the gala in s1)

yeah ABSOLUTELY. kendall's constant striving is ultimately so hollow because he already has access to material luxury and comfort. what he's striving for, then, is not so much pleasure as the unlimited ability to produce more pleasure, ie surplus value. he's insatiable in the way capital is insatiable, because capitalism is inherently and always expansionist. there's no finish line for kendall, which is why at the end of the day he can't just sit and enjoy getting high with the austerlitz guys. he always ends up moving back into that neoliberal corporation mode of operation, wherein the point is just to expand and optimise and exceed himself, ad infinitum. there's no way to satisfy that type of desire, hence the function of cocaine on the show as the business world's performance-enhancing drug and kendall's inability to control his usage of it.

i agree connor is an exception here, and stewy is too. both of them have a fundamental ability to enjoy the material fruits of wealth in a way that the other roys don't. this is why stewy is able to use coke, and quite a lot of it, without being pathologised or falling into the self-destructive spirals kendall does. connor's particular delusion here is, i think, related to running for president. he sees the attainment of political power as an end-goal; he wants to achieve sovereignty over others, but this type of project has a finish line built in that the financial expansion of capitalism does not. even a totalising grab for political power will theoretically, eventually, reach a state of complete control; on the other hand, the logic of capital has never produced 'all' possible value; the surplus can always be made bigger.

as a side note, this is why it's so irritating when people assume the austerlitz guys are, like, dangerous or preying on kendall lol. like first of all, insane transparent very telling assumptions to make about drug users who are poor. but second, they actually do have a function in the story and in the show's commentary on addiction, and it's not some kind of paranoid stranger danger reaganite psa fantasy. whatever lol

[theburgessobserver]

Pt.4 The Beuty and the beast

The Alarm went out and once again it was time for me to wake up and embrace the new day.I Went out and faced it.I looked at my cell

“Still here I see” I said slightly soberly to myself looking at my cell walls which were scribbled with my over calculations and other such texts I had written on to them, reassuringly gazing back at me.

First I had my breakfast

It was most satisfactory.I liked porridge,especially when it became nice and rotten,it tasted so well.I asked them to make it like this for especially for me,it was most kind of the staff to comply with my preferances.After that I went around to see how things were going.

When I went to the pool to check out how my collegues are getting on.I saw Link racing Jaromir the Vodnik in the pool,and promptly lost,it was neck and neck. It used to be easy for him to win ,now he is struggling to win in his own element.

After his defeat he went on to talk with some other inmates“C'mon Babe why won't you give me a chance?”Link said asking the Goblin Queen for what I could assume would be some sort of a date

“Because you would be a weak link to me” She said while those were cruel words.but I had to admit there was a grain of truth in it.After that I went back to my cell.

I passed a few other cells.One that held The Gerry the Ghoul of Graydale, a phantom attacker who terrorized his village of Graydale.He gave me a rather unfriendly look,he always was, and still is a Buffon.

After that I passed Morana's cell. She was an alleged“Goddess of Winter”in slavic folklore.But to be honest her powers were often magnified by the fear pertained over her, and her limitless power was a mere myth(Not to say she wasn't very powerful but wasn't the undefeatable all powerful deity she was made out to bee)but she sat there in his extra secure cell,living proof that there was always some truth in legends!

She looked at me with interest and said “Come here you little ugly buggy,don't be scared.I just want to play”She said in a rather spine-chilling tone,but I was no fool.I wasn't going to play her “games” and just went on.

On my way back I met Bob ,he was oozing along at such a pace that it seemed as though something was amiss.

“Bob?Where are you off to in such a hurry?”I asked this brainless being

“Don't know where,But somewhere” he said jovially racing along,he wasnt picky and would just race around at times

Still as happy as he was since he first came here,after all the decades of imprisonment.The Irony of it all,I envied him.This simple-simon was far more joyful and content with this life than I,almost as if I strived for being dumber and simpler and…well…blind.

Later that day I returned to the meeting room and I saw Link had taken interest in Titanica,err Susan.

“Hey babe!”Link shouted at her “Check out my biceps”…he didn't have any really but Susan wasn't the type to rain on his parade.

“Gee…”She said obviously trying to find them

“Hey?Could I take a closer look at you?”Link said to her

“Well,I uh- I don't know becua-”But before She could finish her sentence, Links flippers were going up her legs and he climbed up all the way her head and looked at her close-up.I must admit Link really was behind the times,I tried to teach him manners and It didn't go very well so we gave up on that futile venture.

“Well,I have never seen you up so close,” Link said, looking over her face

I saw her blush and say “Gee. I haven't even used makeup since I came here.”Susan admitted,to be honest .I can't blame her for not doing anything to care for her skin since she came here…not that I had much of a choice though.

“Well you'll need them" Link said ”Your skin has wrinkles and it's so dry.I never knew gals looked so unattractive when they get this big,I guess you really aren't that attractive”He said

Those words must have pierced right though poor Susan.I saw her start to sob,.

She ran as fast as she could to the loneliness of her room.She started crying and I understand why.She must have been thinking to herself that her size would prevent any real relationships or who would want to love her now that every flaw or problem would now be nine times bigger.Or maybe even being grateful for being here so that others would see her.All these problems that came with the change.

…“I'M JUST A STUPID,BIG,UGLY MONSTER”I heard her wail

I felt for Susan,I wanted to go over to her but I twitched in fear, while I am a rational man; the bug part of me has primal fears,which include a fear of being crushed by something giant,like Titanica.

“Come one Jacques!Be a rational man, she wouldn't do it to you!You should know better!”I said it to myself silently and so after that I went forth to face my fears.True some of them were because when she first came here she was afraid of me the "Hideuos Bug-thingy"as she said and tried to crush me in fear.I dont blame her,after her ordeal and being greeted by me and being scared of me but by now she was accustomed to me.

She was still crying lying on her bed,with me trying to calm her down by saying

“Dont take his words like that Susan!Link is very primitive and has no experience with manners or politeness”.In fact I tried to change his ways to no avail,I let it be,after all its natural for him to be like this.

“Do you honestly think Derek will still love me?”She said soberly to me

“Well,he would be a damn fool not to!”I said to her instantaneously in reply.

“Now come on Susan you won't let Link's words get to you,he really doesn't mean it.I said to her I was throughly distraught by her current state and tried to cheer her up.”

“And even so, how can he call you ugly?Just look at me!Two Big eyes,Two antennas I am quite literally on one half a bug!An ugly beast!"I said to Susan,while I don't fancy the Idea of insulting myself, I had to make her realize that whatever was wrong with her was negligible,so she could feel better.

“You on the other hand are a beauty”I said, still trying to lift her spirits.I saw her slightly smile and say “Aw come on Doc,you're not that ugly”She said to me

“Maybe looks aren't all that important” I added

However, despite briefly making her a tad more joyful,it was only temporary.Soon Susan was low again.I realized that to help her regain her confidence, I had to make Link eat his words,so I promptly crawled over to his cell.

I passed by Bob who was throwing his eyeball against the wall and catching it and doing it again and again happily laughing to himself.Blissfully ignorant as always.

Grubzilla was in his usual trance-like state staring at the fluorescent lights in awe as if he were a little boy looking at a hypnotic coin.

Then I was at Links cell.It looked like an oversized fishbowl,it had a castle a treasure chest,some seaweed and some sand at the bottom.Links waterproof television set was on and on it was running a kan-kan show.Link was curled up at the bottom of his tank on his bed sleeping,two inflatable dolls in the form of women floated in the tank,on which Link would practice his “swoon”and “charisma”on.

I was greeted by a sleeping fish-ape and a sing beside the cell which as always read: PLEASE DO NOT TAP ON GLASS

“Link?I Called out to the Fish-Ape primate

“Huh?”My wet friend said,he was clearly only half asleep.

“Please come with me,It's important”I told him

“Fine,fine im coming”he said rather grumpily

He went along with me to Susan and when we got there link finally asked

“What's up Doc?”Link said

“I think you owe poor Susan an apology”I replied

“Ok,Suz If I were free back on some beach like Pismo or Cocoa I would totally kidnap you”Link said smirking a bit and almost begrudgingly”

“Link,that isn't a real apology," I added.I wanted Susan to get a true one to help her get over it.Link had to take it all back!

“Ok fine ,Susan you're beautiful and I'm sorry I was insensitive to you”.Link se begrudgingly

She looked at me and smiled,I smiled back.Enough was said in words and the rest could be told without words

It felt so comforting to see her get out of the rut even if it likely would not last long.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

And It didn't.Soon Susan was starting to descend into desperation,but I came back to try and lift her spirits

“Hello again Madame Susan!Would you fancy asking me some questions ?I can answer them for you,I'm sure you might be curious about something and I am sure that I have an answer”I know this place as well as the back of my antenas after all. "

“Well… when was the last time you saw the outside world?”She Quizzed me

“Well,I think It was about fifty years or so?”I replied

“What?But I you dont look...well young-ish well then again its hard to tell when I dont have any real experience with humanoid cockroach.She said in surprise and I think I could see a her look a bit confused almost disgusted.

"My Cockroach transformation gifted me with many powers,one of which included that my aging process came to a halt.Then again I doubt it matters when im a horrible monster"I said the final lines in a bit of a comedic tone.

Susan Smiled a bit,and i think I heard her chuckle a little

But I didn't want to bring to her further gloom by revealing that her getting cosmetics or the like would impossible.It was a bit of a dilemma for me.As she would likely find it out the hard way eventually.But these were trying times for her,times where she had to keep calm and try to carry on.

This wasnt a mall or anything and I doubt there was any place which had size XXXXXL for her.

I didn't want to make her sad again, at least not now,so I let this charade go on.

I in a way I felt responsible to help Susan after all I knew what she went through she was seeking true companionship.Just like me,I had had some lab partners,Colleagues,some other friends and some family, at time I stay up at night and wonder how long did they wait for me to return.

If any are still waiting(as I just “disappeared” and they don't know anything about the truth)and If those who had not passed on as the years went on,did my friendship with them ever die?Why I didn't even have a chance to say Goodbye.While I usually bury those ties under my work and knowledge.At times I can't help but just feel that I'm missing something.

But this made me think,Susan was missing almost everything, I should demand better conditions for Susan. She has such a bare bones life it was just enough for survival and not for living at all.

Before going back to my cell I put on some music on the radio to try her.”Well met again eh?”Fitting I said and put it on

“Excuse me Madam but I must go now”I excused myself and left

Eventually Monger did come in about 2 hours later.There were no clocks or calendars at our disposal so I naturally built a clock and It measured time precisely and when he did I walked up to him and asked him for a private discussion…alone.

“Monger,Susans has trouble grappling with this change in her life her,you should do more for her”

“Listen, Cockroach, she has what she needs.And It aint cheap to do upgrades for someone her size”Monger said to me

It was clear to me without a shadow of a doubt that I had to resort to reasoning with him “Look, you're scientist gave you strength readouts didn't they?”

“Yes…and they were….very impressive” he said with a bit of awe in his voice

“If you don't tend to her well she might do something irrational as a result of it.Wouldn't it be best to keep her happy?”

“Hmm,well I think we could do a little more for her ,you do have a point,I'll see what I can do” Monger said doubtless he realized how right I was in my statements.

He didn't underestimate my genius,he was amazed by the weapons and vehicles and other inventions I was tasked at designing like the 300 knot fast attack ship,The Unitron,or that 500 Ton flying tank, the sixth generation jet fighter and other such marvels of machinery if I do say so myself.

Thinking about it at times makes me feel guilty of building so many instruments of destruction on the other and I remind myself “Remember the more powerful weapons there will be more fear preventing war and even when it does happen weapons are far from the times of the Napoleonic wars where it could hit anyone in the crossfire,but with this it will only go after the target and nullify unnecessary deaths and the war is over sooner,so in fact I am helping peace” And even if not with such weapons even so I do find fascination and a feeling of accomplishment in creating such things,just the feeling of it all gives me some real purposes and usage of my intellect

I do have a four digit IQ score after all

---------------------------------------------------------

EXTRA

SONG!

Susan had a way of picking up the day.

Maybe it's a kind of magic,the only Giantess can do,

But seeing Susan smile

Made me stop a while and enjoy the moment

She's only a girl name Susan,a girl named Susan Murphy

She just a girl next door,maybe a little more

She's just a girl in every town

The world is full of lots of people her and there and all around.

But people after all,start as being small

and were all a girl named…

Susan Murphy

I am sorry I went on hiatues my old account is inacessible so I continue on HiddenHank

Also I would love to see your opions and comments it makes me just so happy!Especially ones that deep dive into the story and its highs and lows and ideas of improvement...now tell me is this a worhty.

I would love to hear anything and have favourites from this.

continuations(yeah its cherrier but thats how it is we went through a low point now were coming higher.)

SO PLEASE COMMENT NOW!