#it's fine i'm really normal abt this
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Tessa Brooks, The Magnus Archives Episode 65: "Binary" // Colin Becher, The Magnus Protocol, Episode 1: "First Shift"
(haha i'm soooo not worried abt whatever the fuck is going on w the computers in TMAGP. i'm fine they're fine we're all fine. let's not spend too much time thinking about it!!!!)
#the magnus archives#tmagp#the magnus protocol#mag 65 binary#magp 1 first shift#colin becher#tessa brooks#.jmj error#r does art#SHOCKING RETURN FOR THAT TAG#i stg i didn't think i was gonna use it again but here we are#only two magpod thursdays in and i'm IN#it's fine i'm really normal abt this#tmp spoilers#tmp 1 first shift#tmagp fanart
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little bit of modern au (SPOILERS for the zelda game.)
#witch hat tag#orufrey#zelda totk spoilers#thus ends the orufrey playing on their switches saga. oh modern au...the place where everything is pretty much ok. Yes i have joycon drift.#hey literally why do ppl leave private replies on twt. not priv qrts. that's like..fine. Whatever. but priv replies...who r u talkin to.#once i posted a comic about writing that went REALLY far before i deleted it and got 400+ qrts and someone left a string of private replies#Yeah go off king. What is the point#what does it mean. what does it all mean. <- me at all times looking at the internet in my puter and understanding nothing and just leaving#i'm obsessed with how i said that qifrey doesnt really 'identify' with link so it's hard for him to play games like this#but he cooks food and sleeps as if things are real. Oh what a mysterious fellow...my darling..meanwhile once again oru plays normally#qifrey: I don't really know who zelda is so... sorry that happened to her...bye.. Oh my stomach must be rumbling by now!#if you haven't seen the other parts to this saga he ended up caring abt zelda because he pretended to himself that she is oru. Princess Oru#i play more like qifrey btw. totk was really good
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for the drawing requests luz dressing up as eda for halloween if u feel like it xoxox
I ABSOLUTELY FEEL LIKE IT this was such a delightful request omg. Featuring some bonus clawthorne/Noceda family doodles because they come as a set. Do Not Separate Them
[ID: three images of digital fanart for the owl house. first image shows Luz dressed up as Eda's season 1 design, with her hair slicked back. she's posed mid-twirl, holding her dress in one hand, saying "surprise! I'm you. What do you think?". Next to her is a cartoony doodle of an emotional looking Eda.
The next image is a doodle of Luz and Eda dressed up as each other, looking at each other happily from a side view, labeled "they're matching".
Third image is a sketch page of Luz, Eda, Hunter and Lilith. It features a grinning Luz leaning on hunter saying "hey there sibling! How's my best brother doing?". She's labeled as "being a shit". Hunter looks unimpressed but has a thought bubble that says "sibling..." with a heart. Eda and Lilith are smiling, dressed as Luz and Hunter respectively. Eda says "remind you of anyone?" End ID]
#the owl house#toh#luz noceda#eda clawthorne#hunter toh#lilith clawthorne#i forgot to add in mentions/ideas of halloween but it's fine. you get the gist#that image of luz dressed up as eda at the top was. genuinely so difficult for me to draw i redraw it more times than i care to admit#like scrap it and start over#but like. it was good for me it was character building and i think it turned out cute anyway#hhh i always feel the need to cut down my toh image descriptions because i got used to doing very detailed ones for podcast fanart#cause it was more normalized there and ppl generally had more patience for a lot of words in an image id#and i get so nervous that my lengthy descriptions put ppl off rbing my stuff#(NOT that it matters i am much less insecure in my need for online validation than i used to be-#-i simply wish ppl would take a chance on posts with length-ier ids. it's an accessibility measure and all that)#(but hey I'm not your dad and don't control what u do or don't do)#anyway NO I didn't forget abt me asking for reqs i just need to finish up the second one and that was enough to get my brain working again#there's juice flowing in there now! i have drawing ideas!! huzzah!!#which is all i actually wanted from this specific bout of drawing reqs was just a creative jumpstart#sorry if this is a bit sketchy- that's all i was really up for when i made this lol. i think it's cute and that's goof enough#anyway yeah I'm gonna go read before sleeping now byyyeeee <3
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today my therapist asked me if i would be interested in joining a support group specifically for friends & family of addicts & idk why that of all things got me choked up but it did
#maybe bc i don't live with him anymore & haven't for a while so surely i should be fine by now right#or maybe bc i have gone through my own forms of addiction surely my experiences should make all of this easier to process n accept#i sat there thinking abt it for so long like why am i having a hard time saying anything at all despite the fact i've been#talking abt him for months now & i just realised. i'm still minimising my own problems#i'm still trying to convince myself it's not all that bad & things r normal & actually other ppl have it worse off#the idea that someone else thought it was complicated enough i could benefit from talking abt it in a specific group was just like#idk it really hit me for a moment
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RIVER !! i need you to know every time i come to check your page the picture in your nav makes me short circuit ‼️‼️‼️‼️
and see i understand this bc i have the uncropped version of it as my desktop background and every time i turn my laptop on i get stuck staring at matthias's thighs for five minutes straight
#river dipping#asks#fizzytoo#i had to give him shorts so i could post the edit to tumblr but normally when he's in bed with theo he doesn't wear clothes#so really he should be fully naked but alas.......#and i posted the edit without the text at some point i think...#''i think'' kdnjfgdjnh i honestly take a ton of screenshots of mattodore that i edit and then never upload on here so i'm not certain......#but i feel like i remember nene making an edit of like... spongbob?? or someone chewing on it though so i do think i posted it here...#djgfngjnhknkjhn#also love my general refusal to care abt how tumblr fucks up images that aren't a certain size w/ certain dimensions bc like.#that edit doesn't look that good unless you fullscreen it jkfghnj but that's fine <3 it's for me <3
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I literally cannot even deal with it right now like. I haven't been to the movies in four years. And I just saw. Indiana Jones. And I loved it. Like. Genuinely. I am experiencing real human feelings. I cannot process anything else. I cannot be normal abt this. Shrimp Indy emotions rn. I can taste colors. I am going to ascend to Mars. Beaming into the astral plane.
#I might cry rn sitting in my living room abt it#it felt like. idk just. a really *good* end to his whole story. to end it like this... ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️#I'm fine don't look at me it's fine omg I'm not gonna cry in my living room omg I'm so normal abt indiana jones ohhhh my god#I need a valium jfc#erin explains it all
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i think kenma & suga are the friends who will halt everything when they see a cat... like there's no debate to be had about kenma being this friend but suga 100% is too. the setters are all hanging out and suga stops when he sees the cat and is like "oh my god there's a cat" and they ditch the rest of them to try and get the cat's attention
#friendships that only exist in the extended canon in my mind#setter squad is real and canon. to me.#suga and kenma friendship is real and canon. to me.#i think they exchange cat pictures#i've been having lots of thoughts about setter squad lately tbh!!! kageyama tried so hard to be Normal the first time suga took him to#lunch with akaashi and kenma but he failed.#he tells himself 'i will not derail lunch to ask them for setter tips' but he does. immediately.#and then he's like 'oh my god suga-san is never going to invite me anywhere with them again'#but its fine suga was expecting this#i have like a Vision in my mind for how the setter squad comes to be and oikawa and atsumu come into the group veryyyy late#anyway i should really be sleeping right now but i Cannot Sleep so instead i'm listening to music and thinking abt setter squad
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i may not have considered guedira/lupin before now but there are. some sequences. in this season. that are so
#need to make a post abt it once ive actually finished this season#just like the whole what. third scene. in s3e5#unfortunately i can't tell if the english subs are changing things or not. but#truly. i dont think they would be in any kind of relationship. and i am of course a major fan of guedira/belkacem i love their dynamic.#however. i do think guedira is a little bit in love with him. not even necessarily an actual crush but like. yeah. you get what i mean#are the joenicky lupin au brainworms crossing over into this post? maybe. who cares. i watched ep 5 this morning and i have felt really 100%#not normal about it all day. the things people say out loud in this show#'i'm not sure whose side you're on anymore' what if i BITE on GLASS#lupin spoilers#sorry this post is slightly unhinged everyone. i am doing cool and fine 👍#(person who has not left the house today) (and desperately needs to) (also has not been studying) (SHOULD BE)#im on break rn because i only just finished staring at the same article i have been staring at all day. so this is like a break for me#*reward i meant. i may also be a bit sleep deprived i will not lie#neon has thoughts
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brian colson is a halloween friend; so just a normal friend with a little twist: when one performance of the phantom where he gets to go on as the phantom is over he ceases to exist
#goosebumps the musical#like it's also gonna be weird for zeke and brooke b/c like your new trifecta member basically died lmao#like yeah he died For Real back in the day but his being a ghost was totally normal. then he's like Okay I'm Gone plus you're startled like#you do run smack into the real ghost after all. that would be surprising on its own. and it's your normal friend. and he's out byeeee#it also surely will get its own post but shoutout to the Amazing dialogue from ms walker on the phantom unmasked track#switching from theatre enthusiasm for ''wow the middle school actors did Great (via half just genuine responses)'' to like#a lively yet matter of fact ''No i Haven't'' regarding knowing where tf zeke is (also an alarming element lol having zero info abt that)#right into the teacherly exasperation ''about rewriting the script. on opening night!!!''#which also implies Further nights likely lol. so at least in addition to [finding out your ghost role isn't actually a ghost] [finding out#your horror role has to do romance] [you do One prank for real but then you're getting repeatedly pranked too And blamed for it]#[you get framed which Would be alarming on its own even like what the hell lmao] [it's all good until here's brian w/the steel chair]#like let him actually be able to do the part even lmao. after all that.#that ms. walker exasperation but it's fine really is the energy i imagine for [tina is more amicable towards this duo who continues showing#up for theatrical productions too given that they were in the guys & dolls ensemble & if that becomes anything of a trifecta you're gonna#have like all their individual And group and potential Every Duo chaos lmao]#like sure maybe there's any degree of balance & reining each other in as well lmfao but still quite a handful#like they could both all be driving ms. walker up the wall And be reliable as theatrical contributors#i'd say yknow fine to leave unsupervised even but the trapdoor incidents lol....they'd probably be more careful abt that in particular#who knows if the Experiences here would make one very Generally more cautious or not#they don't exactly realize emile didn't plan on killing them at all; ghosts are real; but it was a normal friend w/a little twist#tina could bring some more backstage safety minding & she would Have to behave a bit abt role jealousy / not being outright mean lol#that is; to in turn be consistently friendlier w/brooke and zeke out here lol. angry not our buddy...#but it's easy enough for someone w/that dynamic who'll come through in the end and is funny / elevated to Become Friend or simply more of 1
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the amount of times i've had the experience of texting or talking to someone and it's all good and then i suddenly mention something about being trans and the other person goes silent ........ lmao okay
#both with ppl who didn't know previously and with ppl who DID know#like rn. they know and seemed fine w it but i also don't really talk about it much. only rarely#but we were texting and i mentioned something abt my transition bc it was relevant and now they just reacted w 2 emojis and didn't reply#like okay? 😭#i hate feeling like my transness makes other ppl especially those i know irl uncomfortable#like yeah i am not what you guys call normal can you not freak out about it tho? thx#ik i'll sleep like shit now bc of this lol i'm gonna have nightmares about them going up to me tomorrow and telling me i'm disgusting and#that they never wanna speak to me again#lovely!#(i wish i was being dramatic but i know how my brain works)
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auu
#vent in tags#i need to get abducted by aliens or smth. to feel wanted ♡#i'm tired and sad and nothing helps and i constantly just feel like i'm annoying and bothering people#there's always this sense of being outcast and alienated but whenever i try to articulate that#i get told that i'm fine and people like me and stuff but that doesn't really help...#i still feel alienated and like i don't belong. maybe i should just give up#sometimes i think abt getting married but it always falls apart bc there's pretty much a 0% anyone will marry me#i wish i were normal. or not like this. or dead or something.#everything's overwhelming and i'm tired.
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not to ask to be put down like old yeller the moment things get slightly hard...but-
#ramblings of a lunatic#I'm fine! honestly!#it's just like. it's like#there is something going on that stresses my mom out! for good reasons! her stress is rational and fair and i feel for her#i also feel her stress but less acutely and i wanna be a Good Child and help her#unfortunately i am a) a massive fuckup (respectfully) and b) she's so stressed out rn that. Nothing is really gonna make her happy#in other words. i have failed at basic tasks of physical competence and emotional awareness too many times throughout the week#and now I'm convinced i should run away to live in a rabbits burrow in the country. for her sake#obviously i can't do that so it mostly manifests in me nearly bursting into tears when i fuck up using the microwave#and looking at my dad (who's about to tell her abt the microwave thing as a joke) with the fear of god in my eyes shaking my head#so yeah. just having a normal one
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hmmm. oh my god my mind is a mess i rlly can't write what i want to rn but i will just Dump
#🌙.vents#YEAH HONESTLY OKAY one reason why fiction comforts me so much is. it teach me so much n let me live through so much more#these characters i. relating to them n seeing parts of myself in them is just. yk rlly comforting bcs i'm. very not social irl.#i get anxious. n typically i find that.. most ppl in like my class or my school or wtvr. yk everyone is interesting n has depth but#i find them. a bit too simple for me. ah.. yeah uhm. sorry remove the 'a bit' it's. by far. so.#hermes rlly. to me bcs he's like. different. felt alone for it. but.. he's intelligent he's valued n. theres a lot of ways to look at it bu#yh then he stands up n does smth for himself for once n he makes mistakes n then after that he sort of just gives up on that part of himsel#'internalizes the lies' THAT PART HURT SO MUCH OKAY. but.. yk fitting in n being 'normal' or wtvr gives a lot of ppl more comfort#but for me it hurts yes but i'd much rather face life for what it is. who i am who i really am. fuck if it's lonely for me#smth from the 1975 w matty on religion? sorry as well i'm.. really not religious. i respect it but please. i'm really not religious.#it would.. be easier yeah if we did believe in some divine being right? believing that there is salvation. that. there's.. yeah#i really just can't bring myself to believe in that. on religion i rmb rn even when i was younger like in lower school even i rlly thought#abt logic behind it. i questioned n wondered why people believed in religion. i really as. very curious abt stuff n life n all that#n growing up i've never really let the outside world influence me too much. no i pride myself in really staying true to myself.#so last year hurt sm bcs i really felt like i was restraining myself too much. i can't exactly pinpoint it rn okay i'm emotional rn but#i rlly felt like my freedom to be myself was stuck somewhere. n then stuff n 'talking too much' so tumblr became yh for me bcs#i don't want to isolate myself but i just.. can't do some things bcs of anxiety? or wtvr there's a lot n then there's also. uh#i still do crave vulnerability n belonging but how do i say this#it's really important to me that. i realize i open up more to ppl that also are able to open up as well. ppl who are like me.#like apollo n online friends n i love my irls too n i hate this bcs yh fine maybe i'm a bit of a ppl pleaser but it's more in a way that#i don't want to be misunderstood. i don't want to hurt anyone. so irl i generally tend to.. hide or restrain myself#take note of 'generally'. but i won't touch on that right now. i think i've been misunderstood before so that's why im sensitive to this#bcs. still having that love n care can coexist with still knowing myself n what works better for me bcs it's so crazy actually how w#several ppl i met last year esp the ones i only know online i cld open up to them more easily bcs they Too can do that n it just#feels so lonely irl i'm just dumping rn it's like nearly 1 am n i'll probably delete this tmrrw bcs i think i'm a bit frustrated right now#not that it's anyone's fault. i'm just. confused right now w myself but i don't mean anything bad by all this okay#i want to just. write. a fictional story rn to calm myself. doing things for myself surely isn't selfish. being myself isn't selfish right?#i can be kind to myself right now too. like other times before. so i will be kind. yes i will be.#there's sm in my head i rlly wish i cld write them all but such is the limit of being human. not too bad tho bcs i have stuff to do#i'll get that done rq n then i'll let myself rest though. until i sleep i'll let myself be at peace n rest c:
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they literally sent him to a farm upstate 👍
#feeling honestly completely normal there were No other options but they didn't do anything really fun within that framework :-/#bit disappointing given the iron grip s1 had on my cock or. hm I guess I'm the kind of person 2 use that metaphor now? but no television#could EVER come close to that so likeee it was still pretty good. season all about exhaustion and regret and not getting things#felt as if the finale could have been about twice as good by being 15 minutes longer b/c the abruptness caused certain meaningful parallels#to be unexplored. but for the themes of getting written out of your own story that's fine! it was Fine it was not outstanding it didn't mak#me do the tails gets trolled face. also what the fuck happened 2 hands did he even find out what happened to blackbeard at ANY point#felt like around ep5 it stopped being about any of the characters and started being only abt putting the cause to sleep because there's no#other way it could end which made it kinda painful given the overarching message of the REST of the show. also didn't love every woman bein#put at the end of their agency but it worked w the concept of having to mold back into the broken world. and I did fall very in love w how#silver's recount of what happened is TOTALLY open to disbelief. guy who is another guy who writes his ending for himself FOR that guy.#who only exists because of a story some guy made abt him / who only exists bcs of the story empire made abt him et Fucking Cetera#gotdamn! awesome show! I love a narrative#showsposting
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hi li I hope you're doing okay (obv not and I mean that in the NICEST way possible) I'm sorry you're going through so much shit with men and your mom and jobs :/ my abusive ex called me the same girls name twice when I was in my....relationship/situationship with him so! That was cool and he definitely fucked me up in more ways than one. As for the other stuff, I've been unemployed for a month now (for the second time this year!!!!) so I feel like my degree is useless and I'm doing something wrong cause all my friends are either in grad school or have stable jobs lmao 🙃 and then. my mom told me to smile more in public the other day so that men would talk to me but!! She still doesn't know that I'm a lesbian!!!!!! Lmao. Maybe this is weirdly personal and out of nowhere but I definitely still read your text posts and think about you so I guess I just want you to know that you aren't alone in having an especially Bad Time rn. But yeah. I love seeing your posts on my dash and I do read your tags and I hope things can start to work out better for you soon, you definitely deserve better. I hope this ask isn't too weird but I just wanted to send you some love 💕
dndkdmdmdmd 😞💗 it wasn't weird at all and i appreciate you and your kind words so much you have no idea!!!! sjsjksksks i feel like we're living the same life atp this is literally mirroring my life almost exactly 😭 i get you my dude... and i'm sorry you're going through some shitty stuff rn 🫂🤍 i really hope things do change and get better :(
honestly it's kinda crazy when everything sucks and nothing makes me feel better like damn 🫡 gonna just keep taking Ls and for whatttt like what's the pointttt 🤷♀️ it's just insane to me...
in any case 🫂🖤 this is me sending u a hug bud... i hope you're doing ok... perhaps we won't feel miserable forever but at least in any case i am rooting for you!!!
#😓💗#gah... that's so much to go through i get it...#nothing is going right anymore in my life lol#like i wish i was joking but photocards are the only thing i hold onto as my joy in life#i literally have 0 reasons to be happy anymore jendkdndkdndkd#sounds insane but 😎 damn the only time i'm happy is when im flipping through my silly little binders or#when im drunk or when im on a 2 hr bus ride with my headphones in listening to my favourite podcast (distractible) and no one looks at me#i feel so . unwell........ jendkdndkdndkd#i had to really think abt stuff recently and#i just feel like . empty ya know ...#🤷♀️ my life has no meaning i have no reason to live etc etc blah blah blah#getting used by some guy cause i have 0 self respect has only made me realize how little i care abt anything in life it's so insane#I FEEL SO EMPTY!!!!!!! i'm just like... i'm really just some shell of a person#idk idk!!!!!! i don't wanna be me i don't wanna be alive my life SUCKS.!!!!!#it's fine omg i'm so dramatic but also i don't have anywhere that feels good.. i have no one that makes me feel safe anymore !!!! no place#that i get to be happy in... everything is either guilt inducing or trauma reminding or whatever u know#like i just . i have nothing 👍 and that that...#i feel very alone ! and very tired and .!!/!&/&/&/!/! idk... like i genuinely don't care much about anything anymore...#i guess it's fine like this is my life this is normal this is how i've lived it for so many years but#i've never felt so lonely before i guess... 🤷♀️ but guess who did that to themselves 😎👍#jsnsksnsksks so it's my fault i'm the issue as usual... whatever hdjdjdkd i'm so insane and dramatic i hope i dieeeeeejjdndkdkd#ANYWAY. i love u . thanku for being so nice to me idk what i'm saying but you are wonderful and :( i hope everything goes up from here for u#anon#answered
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john as a morph: [picks up a stick and waves it around]
everybody: that’s john.
#coldnutparadise reads shadow house#tbh i am not v compelled by the story i'm actually surprised that ppl call it horror#like ok sure 'living dolls like ok sure ok sure OK SURE#there could've been more done to try and convince u otherwise i think#that said it's not bad either - but i persist only for john#patrick getting a crush on emilyko was really cute but i'm sad it's not pursued more#i can also be appreciative of how they're like inversing the idea of shadow mimicking person and then w that established they have emilyko#who has taken kate's name when she registered herself into the selection#i also enjoy the little detail about how the kids really can't particularly express the shadow kids' expressions#that said they also haven't done much in regards to making me believe that anyone would want to merge#ok sure brainwashing ok sure but what abt the adults#they're just cartoonish bad guys rn and i guess that's fine for the show as it is it's not supposed to be that deep#supposedly i think there shld've been more characters like louise who genuinely saw lou as just a doll#and aren't like cartoonishly crazy or abusive and that shld be seen more in this world#like i guess there's enough to get by but c'mon#i want to butt heads w this more#the normalization of something is much more daunting#also highkey i had the impression that kate would be someone w dark hair and the confirmation of that is v validating
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