#it's fine tho we already planned majority of the trip already

[raininyourblackeyes]

I forgot I'm travelling to The Netherlands at the end of this week

[wearenot7withu]

pairing : jungkook x reader

genre : fluff,bestfriends!au, friendstolovers!au

warning : maybe some swearing, a little bit of jealousy

word count : 2,420 words

summary : Do you know what’s better than summer? Having a summer job as a lifeguard. You are by the water, the sun is making you look tan and of course, your lifeguard partner isn’t a bad thing to see either. Luckily - or well not so much, you’re not the only one thinking that. Will the bad green monster come out or can you be on your best behavior?

masterlist

a/n : so here’s my jungkook as a lifeguard scenario. i hope you like it, your feedbacks are welcome. i really enjoyed writing this, tho i’m more of an angst type of girl so this was challenging for me. nevertheless i’m kinda happy with the outcome hope you are too ♥ also thank you for your feedbacks for the business trip 

July is the month of water. The perfect time to go to the beach, take a vacation at some seaside city, or if you don't have a seashore near you, you can enjoy the swimming pools at the local thermal spa. 

Since you were a child, you loved swimming. You were waiting all year round for summer so you can finally swim. So when you were nine years old, your parents signed you up for the local swim team, and in high school, you became part of the school's girl's swim club too. When your first working summer came, your choice was obvious. You applied to be a lifeguard, and ever since you were sixteen years old, you have come back every summer.

Your first two years went by uneventfully. The first year you got to know the other workers, so during the second year, you were already familiar with everyone. The third-year was a little bit interesting. Jeon Jungkook, the school's number one swimmer, captain of the boy's swim team, the boyfriend of the school's cheer captain joined your little lifeguard group. You two went to the same high school, enjoyed the same sport, but you’ve never really talked with each other. He was the top of the school's social ladder, and even though you were a swim captain too, you liked to be in the background. But that summer - which was already three years ago, oh God time flies by so fast - you two became friends. Best friends actually. You can imagine everyone's face when on the first day back in school he asked you to sit next to him and his friends at lunch. 

Before Jungkook, you had a few friends, was in a good relationship with everyone, and didn't despise anyone. But as said, that was before Jungkook. The first person you lowkey hated was Jiha, his girlfriend. She was a bitch to Jungkook, and even though he knew how to handle her behavior, you still didn't like her. Thankfully they broke up.  Jungkook dumped her before the winter formal and asked you to go with him - but strictly only as friends. Although life had another plan because by the time spring formal came, you were together.

Like it was said before, it's been three years since that. It's again a summer working as a lifeguard with your boyfriend, which is getting harder and harder every year. Have you seen his body? Besides having a masterpiece face, his body is just the cherry on the top, and sadly you're not the only one enjoying the view.

"You know, you're a lifeguard, right?"

A voice pulled you back into reality. You turned your head towards the source of the sound with a confused look on your face.

"Jungkook, we've been doing this for summers... I think pretty much the whole town knows that" you said matter-of-factly.

"But you can't save lives if you're daydreaming"

"I wasn't daydreaming" you defended yourself.

"Admit it, you were daydreaming about me"

"Keep on dreaming, pretty boy"

"You think I'm pretty?"

"Well, I'm not with you because of your brain" you smiled at him.

"Careful y/n or I might throw you into the water" You put your hands up in front of your chest, showing that you're stepping down from this fight. 

"I'm gonna go check the kids' pool" He leaned towards you to give you a kiss.

"Bring me a bottle of water on your way back please"

As he was walking away you looked around. You saw a few ladies' heads following your boyfriend, but you can't really blame them. As long as they're only looking, you're kind of alright with that. As you were waiting for your partner to come back, two girls started jumping into the pool. You blew your whistle, which made everyone look at you. You signaled an X with your arms to the girls, who only rolled their eyes. You hate these I'm the center of the world type of girls. They think the rules aren't for them. 

As Jungkook was walking back, he blew his whistle too. The girls were now giggling. He gave you the bottle of water and sat beside you.

"You know I was thinking" you hummed so he can continue. "I don't want us to come back next year" he shrugged.

"What? Why?" you looked at him with a surprised expression.

"Boys are looking at your tits, checking out your ass, and like yeah, I know they're good and everything but you're still my girl" he gestured around us as if you're not dealing with this same issue.

"Kook, those girls were just now giggling at your attention and are keep on jumping into the pool just so you can acknowledge them again" And because it was true, you blew the whistle. Again.

"And you're fine with it?" You shrugged.

"I'm not fine with their presence, but only because they're annoying. Those who only look at you are can't be blamed" you stood up and sat in his lap "You know, that's what you get for having this gorgeous badass lifeguard girl as your girlfriend" you kissed his cheek both side, then gave a little peck on his lips. "And that's" you pointed towards the jumping girls "what I get for having one of the towns most chased man as my boyfriend" 

He gave you a kiss, and another one, and another one. "They're still jumping" you sighed at that.

"Come with me?" With him, you arrived next to the girls. "I kindly ask you to continue your jumping at the swimmer's pool, this pool isn't for hopping"

"Oh, really?" the two girls looked at each other, then the taller one with light brown hair and tanned skin took a step towards Jungkook. "Can you show me where is that? I think I don't know" Calm down y/n.

"It's two pools away" you answered.

She took another step and now started to play with her hair. "I still don't know"

Jungkook stepped aside, lifted his arm and pointed towards the swimmer's pool "Right there, in front of you" The girl seemed to understand he's not interested. You smiled at her, with a smile which said HA! Told you to go away! 

The day went by after that calmly. A few kids crying, one person bumped into another underwater but nothing major happened. When your shift ended, you two went to take a shower - separately, of course, then Jungkook took you home to your parents' house. "You coming in?" you asked him.

"I promised my brother I will go with him looking for an engagement ring"

You squealed a little "Is he planning to propose Mayah?" He nodded.

You bid him goodbye with a kiss and went inside. You've been living together off-campus during school since starting college, but for the summers, you always go back home to your roots.

The next day you woke up a little later than you should've, which meant total chaos for the morning. On top of that, you didn't have time to eat, because when Jungkook pulled up in front of the house, you were still in your sleeping clothes.

"Your hair looks like you've been fucked through the whole night" greeted your dearest boyfriend. You rolled your eyes at that

"Yeah my other boyfriend visited" you said sarcastically. "Where are you signed today?"

After figuring out you weren't on the same pool duty, you didn't talk that much, not that you were in the car for a long time. "See you at clock-out" He gave you a kiss on your cheek and we said bye. 

Today you'd been paired up with Josie, she was your partner for the first time when you started back in the days. "Are you ready for the old people?"

Her question made you snicker. "I would rather be at the kids' pool for a week"

You replied with a sigh, and Josie erupted in a laugh. It's true, little kids might be louder and more energetic, but old people are on a whole new level. They usually want to play matchmakers for their grandchildren.

"So how you and prince charming have been?" you laughed at the name Josie gave to Jungkook.

"I still don't get why you're calling him that, but we're good" you nod your head with a fond smile on your face "better than ever actually"

"That's good to hear"

Your stomach made some strange noise, signaling it's time for food. You told Josie you're gonna go grab something to eat from one of the food stalls. As you were waiting for your kung pao, you felt someone's presence very close to you. When you turned around, arms were caging you and the familiar smell hit your nose.

"Thanks for the baguette babe, but how can you not know I don't like pickles?" What? What baguette?

"Mmmm what are you talking about Kook?" you grabbed your meal before turning towards him and motioning towards the benches.

"Your memory is not that good anymore, you're getting old" He joked, and you kicked his leg under the table which made him chuckle with a boyish laugh.

"I slept through my alarm Jungkook, I didn't have the time to eat or buy a meal until now" you sighed, somebody must've been trying to get his attention with this. You have to say this is a new boldness, like this has never happened before.

"I have a secret admirer!" you clapped your hands yaaay because my mouth was full.

After finishing your breakfast slash lunch, you went back to Josie. You asked her about her new job and talked about college. She told you some funny stories which have happened to her there and you laughed a lot. From time to time some elders came up to you, showing pictures or pointing towards their grandsons. Sadly for them, both Josie and you are taken so you had to decline their propositions. You would be surprised how disappointed they can be once they find out they plan won't work out. OR how persistent they can be, they can't take no for an answer. That's the two end, no between. When that happens, you feel better with either Jungkook or one of the male colleagues. They're pretty much all Jungkook's friend, which means yours are too.

Clock-out quickly came, and you were cleaning the pools where you were assigned through the day for the other shift’s workers. To get to the locker rooms, you have to go beside the pool where you're boyfriend is on duty for the day. You thought you two will go to the changing rooms together, but as you get there you only see Taehyung cleaning.

"Did Jungkook leave you in the dirt alone?" You beamed at him. He turned his head towards you with a smile but quickly replaced it with a confused expression.

"Why aren't you at the bar?" he asked,

"Why would I be at the bar?" You asked back.

"You left a note to Jungkook to meet you at the bar at 3" You pointed at yourself asking him that you left a note.

"I didn't leave any note, is the note here though?" Taehyung pointed towards the trashcan.

Thank God it was at the top so you didn't have to rummage through it. Reading the note, you didn't know if you should feel offended because he didn't recognize your handwriting, or to be furious because someone actually dared to ask him on a date. You crumbled the note in your hand and made your way towards the bar.

Arriving at the bar you saw your boyfriend and the girl from yesterday. That made your blood boil so much more than before. Poor guy was looking around, searching for someone - you, while the girl was trying to make a good impression on him. You counted to twenty in your head, so you wouldn't jump at the girl first thing. Jungkook's face lighted up seeing you, although he realized something's not right.

"Excuse me" you tapped on the girl's shoulder "I would really appreciate it if you wouldn't try to shoot your shot with my boyfriend." You stepped beside Jungkook, who automatically back hugged you.

"He wasn't really rejecting me though" You’re gonna tear this bitch hair out 

"Listen here you little - " a hand muffled your mouth.

"I didn't really give you the time of the day, I was just being nice and answered you" The girl's face turned red and stomped away from the bar.

"I should've known you wouldn't write me a letter" you hummed while turning towards him.

"Yeah, and you should've recognized my handwriting. I mean c'mon, how many times did I give you my notes in school."

Jungkook mumbled a quiet sorry. He looked like a kid, who was told not to eat any sweets until his vegetables were off from his plate. "What do you think about you, me, in my room doing a Frozen marathon?"

"Alright, but we have to stop at my parents' house first"

So that's what you did. After taking a shower Jungkook drove you to your childhood home. While you packed away your things, Jungkook had a quick chat with your dad  ... about the lawn? You said bye to your mom and joined the two men at the porch.

"I'm ready" you said hugging your dad. He tightened his grip around you and with a serious expression he said to Jungkook

"No funny business" For a minute neither you nor Jungkook could say anything.

You couldn't tell why did your dad say that, and Jungkook probably shit himself. He started to stutter when your dad let out a big laugh. Hearing his laugh, Jungkook also let out an awkward chuckle.

"Alright dad, bye" You said and pulled Jungkook by his hand to his car.

"What the hell was that?" Jungkook asked once you were in the vehicle.

You shrugged "it's not like he doesn't know we do funny business"

"Don't call it that" He commanded, which lead you to repeat it like ten times.

Arriving at his house you helped his mom to make dinner. Following dinner, you started to watch Frozen.

"You know I love you right?" Jungkook asked after a while.

You were already half-asleep, you didn't have the strength to answer properly. You mumbled a quite love you too and snuggled closer to him. You were happily asleep after only moments.

[a-simp-for-haikyuu]

Oikawa request. Oikawa is in a relationship where s/o lives in a completely different country, and so far they have only seen each other on the cell phone at Facetime. S/o decides to surprise Oikawa and goes to Japan to visit him

This prompt is adorable thank you anon! I didn’t really know how to end it but I hope you enjoy :) I’m so soft for oikawa, that’s a known fact

Warnings: none, just pure fluff 🥰

Masterlist

— Oikawa Tooru

You waited impatiently due to the amount of excitement rushing through your body as you stared at the time on your phone screen.

3 more minutes

You kept reminding yourself. You had a long day and wanted nothing more than to see your cheery boyfriend, Oikawa Tooru. The only problem was, you lived in separate countries, your only form of communication being texts, both of you commenting on each other’s posts, posting pictures of one another with cheesy captions like ‘you’re number one in my heart’, and of course the long FaceTime calls that always go late into the night, often resulting in one of you falling asleep mid call and the latter screenshotting their sleeping figure. You were so grateful to have such an amazing dork boyfriend who was always there to cheer you up on days like this, and despite the time difference you both made it work for the 8 months you two have been together. Little did Oikawa know, you had been planning a trip to Miyagi for a while now so you could surprise him. You finally got the funds to do so and you were going to be heading over in less than a week, which is perfect as he had a match on the next day after you arrive in Miyagi. You were snapped out of your thoughts by your phone rattling around on your desk due to the vibration of someone calling you. You jumped when you saw Oikawa’s contact name and picture and quickly accepted the FaceTime call.

“Y/N-chan I miss youuuuuu” he whines as you giggle at his childish behavior, making you feel better already.

You two talked about your day, him telling you stories about what happened in practice, how he saw your favorite snack in the convenience store he visited after practice which made him think about you non-stop even tho he does that anyway, and you telling him about your long day and him cheering you up by telling you how beautiful you are and how you can relax now without having to worry about anything else. Oikawa would be lying if he said he didn’t get insecure thinking about the possibility of you finding someone else who lived in your country who was better than him and could be there for you in person, but you remind him you love him and only him which helps put his mind at ease he just doesn’t wanna lose you because he’s so whipped for you. You two talked for a good 3 hours before he had to go to bed as he was extra worn out from pushing himself so much in practice, so you both said your goodbyes.

“Make sure you look after yourself baby, I love you” he says with that soft smile and adoring look in his eyes that makes you blush and fall for him even harder, which you thought would be almost impossible by this point.

“I will but make sure you do the same, I love you too, try not to miss me too much” you said while winking playfully. Easier said than done he thought to himself. You ended the call and lay back in your desk chair.

Less than a week

You reminded yourself.

---------------------------------------------------

You couldn’t help the huge grin that made it’s way onto your lips as you began boarding the plane.

Today’s the day

You thought to yourself as you made yourself comfortable in your seat, waiting eagerly wanting to take off as soon as possible as you heard your phone ding, signifying someone had texted you. You looked at the contact name and saw it was none other than Oikawa himself.

‘Hey baby can we call in a little bit? :))’

‘I’m sorry baby I can’t, my family want me to help do a deep clean of the whole house :((’

You lied as you didn’t want him to be suspicious or worried about you when you couldn’t reply to his texts, little did he know it was because you had a plan in place to surprise him, even going as far as getting Iwa in on it. Oikawa insisted that you meet Iwaizumi when you two first started your relationship, which ended up with both you and Iwa teasing Oikawa to no end for the majority of the call. You heard another couple of dings from your phone and saw a text from Iwa and Oikawa.

‘We all set to go?’ Iwa texted you.

‘Yeah I just boarded the plane, hbu?’

‘We’re about to start warming up for practice but yeah I’m all set.’

You sighed in relief at his message, knowing everything was going according to plan. You checked Oikawa’s message.

‘oh ok :((( Iwa-chan will be staying over at my place tonight for a few hours after practice so when we can call pls keep the teasing to a minimum’ Oikawa sent, causing you to giggle.

‘No promises baby ;)’

‘No fair >:( babe warm ups for practice are starting now so I gtg I love you!’

‘I love you too Tooru’

The pilot started making the announcement stating how the plane was about to begin take off, causing you to almost jump out of your seat due to excitement. It was going to be a long plane ride, but it would be more than worth it when you got to be with your boyfriend in person.

---------------------------------------------------

“Annnnnnnd we have landed, enjoy your stay folks.” The pilot announced over the speaker, causing you to jolt awake from your sleep as you almost squealed in excitement, immediately taking out your phone to text Iwa that you had landed safely are were starting to exit the plan. 

‘That’s great, we’re about to start walking to his place after the coach gives us feedback, do you need me to send his address again?’

‘Nah I got it, thank you so much for all your help Iwa :)’

‘Np Y/N, after all it’ll get him off my back for a while’ You laughed at the message causing a few people to look at you while you exited the airport. You sat down on a bench and waited for a few minutes before texting Oikawa, knowing he’d probably would be walking home right about now.

‘Ok I’m almost finished with the cleaning, I’ve got something I wanna show you when I’m done’

‘Oooo a surprise, is it a good or bad surprise tho?’

‘Good surprise, but you’ve gotta wait, but trust me it’ll all be worth it :)’

‘mmmmm fine only because I love uuuuu’

‘I love you too, now I gotta get back to cleaning I’ll ttyl baby, but text me when you and Iwa get back home safe ok?’

‘Of course Y/N-chan, byeee I love uuuuu sm’

You sighed happily as you waved down a taxi and it pulled over for you, the driver getting out of the taxi to help you with your luggage. 

‘Got home safe baby :)’ 

You smiled down at the message and then asked the driver to stop at a park that was a couple blocks from Oikawa’s house. You grabbed your luggage and sat on a park bench as you texted Iwaizumi again.

‘I’m at the park near his house and I’m about to start walking over, we all set?’

‘Yea he’s just pouting saying how he needs to hear your voice so please get here quick’ 

‘Lmao you don’t have to tell me twice’ 

And with that you grabbed your things and started heading over to his place. You took in the peaceful surroundings as you felt your heart drum against your chest rapidly with each step you took, getting closer and closer to being with him. And there you stood at his front door as you texted Iwa one last one.

‘I’m at the front door’

And once you saw the check mark indicating Iwaizumi had read the text you rung the doorbell. You heard Iwa yell a “I’ll get it, trashykawa” to Tooru before he opened the door and smiled as he saw you.

“Hey Y/N, we’re good to go, it’s just me and him home and he doesn’t suspect a thing” He said pulling you into a quick hug and bringing your luggage inside for you as you tip-toed inside his house. Iwaizumi made his way up the stairs as you followed behind him, still creeping as you didn’t want to make a sound. With each step you took your heart pounded faster and faster and a massive smile had it’s way to your face. It’s really happening, you thought to yourself. Iwa stopped just in front of Oikawa’s closed bedroom door, giving you a small smile and a nod and you gave one back in return as you heard Oikawa whine from inside his room “Iwaaaa-channnnn why are you taking soooo longggg?” Iwaizumi rolled his eyes as he opened the door and walked inside, while you stayed in the hallway, waiting for Iwa to say your secret code to que you to enter.

“Yeah yeah, I was talking to the person who was at the door, they needed directions”

And that was your que. You stepped into the room, as you saw Oikawa’s eyes widen as he looked up at you from his desk that he was sitting at.

“NO FUCKING WAY, I’VE GOTTA BE DREAMING, IWA-CHAN PINCH ME” Oikawa stood up as he heard you giggle at his reaction and made his way towards you with the biggest smile resting on both your faces. He pulled you into his arms and kissed the top of your head, holding you flush against his chest. You immediately melted into his touch and held him just as tight.

“I’ll leave you guys to it, have fun” Iwaizumi said as he exited the room.

“AND USE PROTECTION” He added as he walked down the stairs, causing you both to blush but chuckle. 

“wAIT THIS WAS THE SURPRISE YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT” You giggled at his reaction and just kissed his cheek and muttered a “no shit” in the process.

You both spent hours talking as you both laid down in his bed as he held you while you rested your head on his chest. He stroked your hair, still shocked that both you and Iwa-chan pulled this off so flawlessly, but he couldn’t be any happier. He went ahead and called his mother asking if you could stay at their place for your stay in Miyagi and she agreed as you knew about you and Oikawa and she adored you as well. 

Before you both went to bed he pulled you close to him and rested your foreheads together before softly, yet passionately kissing your lips, expressing all the love he had for you in the kiss as you did the same back.

The next day you both got ready to attend his game, he even gave you his spare jersey so you could wear it in the crowd so everyone would know you two are together.

“Y/N wait” he said as he pulled you close to him as you started making your way to the stands since the game was about to begin. He softly kissed your lips as he wrapped his arms around your waist and you wrapped yours around his neck.

“I can’t play the game if I don’t get my good luck kiss” he winked at your blushing face before kissing your cheeked and running back to his team. Aoba Johsai won the match, causing him to pull you into his chest afterwards.

“Tooruuu you’re sweaty” 

“Doesn’t matter, I need my Y/N-hugs”

He took you on small cute dates for the rest of your stay, even if some days were just both of you staying inside and watching movies while eating ice cream and milkbread. And you made sure to steal his shirts, sweaters, hoodies, and volleyball jacket at any given opportunity which made his heart M E L T at how cute you looked in them and he defiently gave you some of his clothes to take back with you when you did have to leave so you could have it when you missed him.

He took you to the park that near his house, the same one you got dropped off at the day you surprised him. It was sunset and he insisted on taking pictures and polaroids with you so he could have you as his background and definitely not so he could get them printed and frame them and so he could keep a Polaroid of you in his phone case. Which later turned into you both laying down on the picnic blanket he had brought and stargazing, pointing out the constellations to each other, while he held you close to his chest and him giving you his jacket so you wouldn’t catch a cold before he wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you even closer to his chest.

“It’s so beautiful”

“Yeah, it is” he says softly as you move around in his arms to see him looking down at you with a soft loving look on his features, causing you to blush before reaching up to share a loving kiss with one another.

“Babe I got you something” he said before rummaging around in his bag

“Tooru you really didn’t have to, just being here with you is more than enough”

He grabs your hands in his before he opens a small box, revealing a beautiful silver ring. You gasp at the sight.

“Y/N after this year we’ll both be finished with high school and I wanna be able to be with you everyday after that, I wanna be able to wake up next to you every day, get to appreciate the little things with you everyday, have you be mine everyday. This isn’t a proposal obviously.” He chuckled as he softly moved his hand under your chin so you’d make direct eye contact , the look of pure love in his eyes making you melt.

“It’s a promise. A promise that one day, I will give you that proposal, only if that’s what you want of course.”

“Of fucking course Tooru” you said, tears of happiness welling up in your eyes. He slipped the ring onto your finger and kissed your forehead.

“I love you Y/N-chan”

“I love you too Oikawa Tooru”

[cloveroctobers]

(A/n: this might be a little biased since I’m in love with this man & I’m basing the relationship parts of this on my mc/myself so hope y’all don’t mind 😬)

IG info/bio: @/lucas.koh | 93.1k followers | for business inquires please visit: kohptr.com

LUCAS KOH —

27 (28) years old

From Oxford, England

Father is Korean & a car salesman at a Nissan dealership, he’s a strict/serious man who has high morals but beyond that he can actually be a softie in rare moments (+ that’s who Lucas gets his height from 🤤)

Mother is actually Chinese but lived in Korea studying abroad and eventually became a successful chiropractor (s/o to doctor mondragon on YouTube who I watch to help me sleep some nights and wish I could see! Lol) with her own practice. She’s a firecracker, intelligent, and quick to say what’s on her mind and doesn’t care if you like what she’s got to say. Most patients like that about her, she’s honest and her family is used to her ways but in the same way it’s more loving than offensive? (Smol woman but will remind you when she’s cracking your body she’s got enough power in her)

Either he’s a only child or he comes from a family of all boys with two younger brothers (they’re all in their 20’s) or he has one younger brother and one younger sister idk you decide

I’m feeling like he’s a Sagittarius? Carefree in the terms of he wasn’t viewing finally getting with MC when she’s dating someone else as cheating. Mans was READY to risk it all for me okay and I was down for it but ofc I had to react realistically and NOT “cheat.” *sigh* one part of me was debating ‘are we really dating tho bobby? We’re on reality tv. We’re not gonna die without each other if we hang out in seperate rooms’ *cough* Nope. but I’m a woman about her loyalty

He’s definitely adventurous. I don’t see him as the type to want to stay home all the time even tho his work definitely keeps him busy/exhausted. He’s down for road trips 💯

Occupation? Physicotherapist. His mother inspired him to get into the field and watching sports + the way players got their injuries always intrigued him? So to provide the best plan to have someone heal was something he loved to do plus being hands on while teaching/helping was a passion for him + I feel like he would also use a massaging technique instead of the usual exercise part of it

Now as someone who suffered a ACL & Mensicus tear & is STILL dealing with this BS pain years later, I would be so thankful to have him around! I feel like he’d have a optimistic attitude towards his patients and that’s what people need not someone that’s insensitive (like my surgeon/PT’s I had)

He models from time to time, when he was first approached about it he was upfront about not wanting to do it. It was much different than getting your picture taken for the office. That’s usually quick, the whole modeling process felt longer but somehow he was talked into it by his brother who’s a photographer and his mother. “Do you think you’re ugly? ‘Cause I’m not and you’re a part of me, so therefore there’s no such thing. Just look at your cheekbones, your jawline! I gave you those. The only good thing your father gave you was height.” Which filled the house with snickers while Lucas’ father just rolled his eyes and continued reading his newspaper for breakfast

Has a motorcycle and some luxurious car—not a Tesla those are basic now 🤷🏽‍♀️

Loves his motorcycle so much he’s got a tat of it on his right bicep

He has two available parking spaces in his parking garage at his penthouse but keeps his bike away in a storage unit due to a neighbor scratching it after his girlfriend broke up with him? Saying she was off to date Lucas? But that wasn’t true at all. He barely knew the girl, they didn’t live on the same floor. People were crazy but if you push him his temper might come out

Owns a leather jacket that he paid a lot for

Believes in “treat yo self” if it means in quality when shopping and has no issue being a big spender but he knows how to manage it well (his father told him all about how his own father dealt with bankruptcy)

Since he’s often at the office the whole day, he’s usually a night owl. He loves night drives and night dining. That’s usually when he finds the best places to eat

There’s this one pho spot that he loves and it’s his go to spot when he wants something quick on the way home

Cannot sleep with his entire body covered in covers, either his arms/shoulders have to be out or his legs, which would be a issue for me/mc since I sleep with the covers over my entire body...yes even in hot weather with the AC cranked up😂

He also makes great kimchi fried rice & loves Italian food

Will wine and dine. I believe it. I envision it! He loves going out on dates with his significant other (If he’s single and not with me, I think he’d try out speed dating)

Will dress to impress, will buy you a new fit he wants to see you/us/mc in especially if it’s your anniversary

Loves taking bubble bath’s with infused oils or flower petals with significant other

He’s the type that takes long showers & it brings him a true sense of freedom. He’s never able to take a quick shower, he gets lost in his ideas of what to do next in this world & it’s limitless

If he’s in for the day, which usually doesn’t last long—he’s either in sweats or in a robe all day

Only drives his bike on the weekend or if he’s going out of town but if he’s going on a trip for a couple of days with MC & if she’s got a bit of anxiety like me? He’ll stick to his car to make them comfortable

I feel like he enjoys the winter season. Maybe if it’s a slushy rainy winter more than a blizzards/snowy season. He loves bundling up, much to people’s surprise. He’s more than just his good looks and body love island fans!!!

Doesn’t post much on his socials. If you need to see what he’s about then you should do so in person or already know who he is. The internet can’t tell you much, in his opinion

Keeps himself in good health, I mean duh what kind of PT would he be 😉 goes on night jogs with reflector clothes on & occasionally morning jogs & at home workouts

Probably will date someone younger than him. Not by much, I don’t think he can take immaturity well. (That maybe how he views it) The most is 4 years younger than him

Henrik is his best bud from the show. They hang out all the time, crash at each other’s places, and vacation together all the time. They will be each other’s future best men forsure

Doesn’t go out of his way to talk to the rest of the guys from the show but if he happens to browse his feed and sees something he wants to comment on then he’ll carry a conversation of course

Far as the girls? He talks to Hannah & Priya from time to time. He also follows Hope and they like each other’s posts but not much communication is there either?

Either has a mint or black phone case, probably a Samsung galaxy user

Likes pistachio frozen yogurt but he’s lactose & doesn’t want to believe it :(

Smokes cigars when he’s out with his boys

Has a tight knit group of friends, majority of them are from the medical field since they all went to uni together + most of them are also married so the pressure is so on

*He’s the oldest out of his sibs so according to his parents he’s expected to be married first yet his baby sis is engaged and she’s 23*

wants a family...eventually. Probably will happen in his early thirties? The max for children is 2 for him. He knows they can be a HANDFUL due to his own friends who have kids + he’s a godfather and he’s babysat before so he knows how it goes!

enjoys his freedom as stated which further proves he’s a sag lol

Enjoys going to saunas to cleanse his pores/ get rid of toxins. It’s the easiest way for him to do so even tho his brother clowns him for it

His love language is deff physical touch. He loves hugs and resting his chin on top of your head, forehead to forehead, his nose pressed in between the space of your neck and shoulder, gentle squeezes, sitting next to each other with your legs touching, cuddling, sleeping on top of you or you on him, etc

He loves kissing. It’s automatic for him and it can also easily rile him up

Has strong opinions & will show them but will feel like he’s being attacked if it brings on a confrontation/argument

Will forgive and forget

Plays strategy board games

Makes his own natural healing creams & gives samples to his patients depending on their needs

His fav colors are: blue, white, & grey

Will grow a bit of facial hair in the cooler months if it’ll make mc happy (I’m a sucker for facial hair but hate it on myself lmao) but if he dislikes the feeling on his face he will shave and finds he likes a shaven face better, the facial hair makes him look a bit older—which is okay but that’s just his preference

When he stops putting gel in his hair/styling his hair in a quiff hairstyle it shocks fans with mc commenting on one of his pics, “you’re welcome x”

Likes going to the Hard Rock Cafe on causal weekends

also likes getting freaky in public, down for whatever 🤪

He’s a traveler so if he leaves the UK, I’m seeing him land in Toronto, Canada first and falling in love with it. I feel he would vibe well with the culture there, might even consider getting a vacation home in that location

Celeb crushes? Anne Hathaway, Beyoncé, Lupita Nyong'o, Anna Diop, Imaan Hammam, Jodie Comer, Megan Fox, Shay Mitchell, & Cassie Ventura Fine

Oh Lucas. I feel like we have similar tastes? Somewhat. He probably listens to more rock than I do? Maybe 80s rock moreso? & He listens to: WALK THE MOON, Allen Stone (his fav) , Emily king, Gavin Turek, Melanie Fiona, THEY., DPR live, & Sik-k

Anthem = Young the Giant, “Something to believe in”

[loveau]

college!au seulgi

request: elli!! can u please do a college gf au with seulgi? i think we could all use that cute fluffiness right now 🤧 p.s. thank u for sharing ur wonderful writing ilu 💕

major: business w/ a concentration in human resources management

minor: dance

club: prob vp of the school’s women in business club!!! she joined in the middle of her sophomore year and became vp in junior!

she’s most likely been an RA in her sophomore or junior for the upperclassmen

she was in it for the door decs before realizing she actually liked it lOL

originally was a bio major and was stressed about it, but switched to business after being an RA because she thought it was her calling???

it just fit a lot better and she didn’t have to stand there hunched over her lab work and worry about accidentally breathing in pathogens

she had declared a bio major because the plan was to go to med school if all else fails and she didn’t really know what else to do, so that was a safe option right?

never before had she been so relieved to find out that she actually really liked spending time in her business and management classes and leading her volunteer group and being an RA

she also now has an excuse to dress up super nicely for interviews and such because she had so many outfits in her closet but never got a chance to wear them out

she became so much more at ease and bubbly about it too

no more sitting in lecture halls having to recite the functions of B-cells or whatnot

it also helped to have sat down with her ARD irene who told her she might like business

it was a long process of convincing because most of it was spent trying not to keep gossiping about the other RAs on campus alfsdlknfmsdlgkn

afterwards she quits reslife so she can focus on other stuff and lives in an apartment near campus her senior year

she becomes pretty popular around campus for her happy personality and her calm energy to match, making it so easy to start a conversation with her or just hang out

seulgi will be studying somewhere in a common student area and previous residents or club mates or classmates will wave to her or stop by for a quick chat

she’s also normally p busy tho being the vp of the wib club and also making sure she’s updating her resume and leaving time on the weekends to volunteer at the animal shelter like she loves

and also making sure she isn’t spending too much on online shopping for clothes and oOPS HER FINGER SLIPPED AND NOW SHE HAS LIKE TWO TOPS AND A PAIR OF OVERALLS ON THE WAY 

but she often doesn’t have a lot of time to spend with her friends unless they plan it like a MONTH beforehand since she’s been applying and interviewing for countless internships

she was just so excited to find something that she’s super passionate about instead of biology and she kind of overloads herself on that energy akfsldgnskjgn

so of course when her friends invite her to parties or kickbacks she has to decline because she has to make the next powerpoint presentation for the club meeting and also make sure the club’s end of semester dinner is being all squared away

seulgi’s a busybody and enjoys what she does, so much that she doesn’t realize that she keeps overloading her schedule and not giving a lot of time for just herself

which usually means she also spends a lot of time cramming everything at once and might end up passing out at a friend’s place during a study session, in the middle of club meetings, or even in the library late at night

that’s just how she spent her thursday night 

she had been setting up a speech for her recruitment and selection class and had been so tired from her club meeting a couple hours before that she ended up falling asleep in the library

it was kind of cute since she had hairs slipping from her bun, some coffee stains on her sweater, ink all over her hand from notes, candy wrappers spread around her area, and her head was tipped back and her mouth wide open as she slept

okay............ not that cute

she was a mess

but it was enough for her to get startled awake by a longboard rolling across the room and hitting her chair leg quite hard

she didn’t know what happened at first and checked around only to find a somewhat empty library save the couple of students also diligently working

her laptop she left open was dead and she cursed because she didn’t save her speech and her phone was below 10%, but it was enough to tell her that it was like 3am in the morning

seulgi only noticed the skateboard because she was going to go to the bathroom to freshen up and almost slipped on it when her foot landed on the top

she caught herself and saw that there was a bottle of water and a granola bar and a note on it

‘hey, you look like you need a little refresher. i also had a spare charger in case you needed it, your laptop has been open the past hour’

sure enough there was a charger but it had been knocked to the floor after she slipped on the longboard

silently, seulgi placed the items on the table with the rest of her stuff and looked around for anyone who would have given her the stuff

except nobody was popping their head up and were all busy

plus they all had chargers with them so she didn’t know who would have given her the treats

nonetheless she opened the water bottle and felt replenished when the water hit her throat

she was so confused????? still?????

she decided to take her trip to the bathroom like she wanted to and maybe she could scope out whoever decided to give her the food and drink while she was at it

subtlety wasn’t exactly her forte either since she was craning her neck around every table and making the other students confused

eventually seulgi makes it to the bathroom and cleans herself up and when she comes back the longboard is gone and her laptop was charged for her and a new note lays on top of it?????

who???????

‘i had to go for the night, sorry about that! don’t worry about the charger, i have another one and i’ll just collect this one when i bump into you again :)’

and just like that seulgi was completely and utterly confused

she stays like that for the next two weeks or so, seeing no sign of anyone with the same longboard and she tries not to pounce at every person she sees riding one to class

it gets so bad that the prez asked if she was okay and getting enough sleep since she was so distracted during her meetings and if she called the caterer for the dinner yet asgGNSGDN

her friends sooyoung and yerim were also trying to use this as an advantage for her to get invited out to “clear her mind” as they say since she’s been so out of it lately

and they’re absolutely elated when seulgi agrees and decides to go because why not?? she’s been so stressed about finding this mystery person because she wanted to properly thank them... but also to get the laptop charger with hello kitty stickers all over it back to its owner

and also did they see she had drool running down her chin bc that was really embarrassing and she just wants to make sure if anyone saw that before she promptly packs her bags a moves to another country

she’s blushing at that don’t point it out or else it’ll get worse amsdlknsg

once they’re actually inside, she can’t help but look for any longboards by the door even though most of the people at the party came by on foot or by someone’s car since the house was relatively close to campus

sooyoung and yerim are basically pushing her further into the house as they chatter excitedly and they’re happy it isn’t a byob type of party

seulgi is basically saying she won’t drink that much because she’ll look after the two and let them go ham... for a bit..

but they’re basically like

“seulgi it’s fridaaaaay it’s fine”

“yeah! besides we know the house owner and can call joohyun if we anything”

and they’re both going “pleeeeeeeeaaaaase” and doing their best to yell it over the loud music

and before seulgi can deny any longer she’s turned to the kitchen that’s been blocked by a foldable table and there’s cup lining it and drinks all over on the counters

but she’s not distracted by the abundance of drinks and people surrounding it.........

she finds you smiling cheekily at her

“what can i get you?”

and seulgi starts sputtering over her words and she REALLY cannot get a single word out because oh my gosh who are you and are you single because UHHHHHHH her brain is going overload

and both sooyoung and yerim are already cackling at seulgi’s stunned silence and giving each other mischievous looks behind seulgi while she malfunctions

meanwhile you’re just drinking it all up with an amused smile and gleam in your eyes and oh god do you HAVE to lean against the counter like that?

seulgi can barely get a word out before you’re laughing a little and turning around to prepare three red solo cups

you pass the cups to sooyoung and yerim and they basically BOLT away to leave seulgi all alone and more importantly alone wITH YOU SOMEONE SAVE HER

you laugh at her red cheeks that shine from the kitchen lights behind you and seulgi is absolutely enamored by you at this moment

“don’t worry, i gave them more fruit juice than i did alcohol. they’ll be fine”

seulgi barely registers this and gapes like a fish to where her friends are dancing and drinking from whatever you prepared them

had she been paying proper attention like she normally does, she’s notice that yes you basically watered down the alcohol with some lemonade

“i know how crazy those two can get after a couple parties with them, so i’m making sure they don’t go overboard”

seulgi only watches as you take her cup and put it under the sink to give her water

she takes it an tries not to get giddy when your fingers brush

inner seulgi facepalms because she’s acting like she has a crush in high school

but she’s never felt this way since she switched majors???

and omg that feeling was so addicting exhibit a when seulgi overloads her schedule and now??? she just met you and can’t get enough already

“thank you” she practically inwardly screams when she realizes how meek she is but you only give her a friendly smile

“yeah! thought you could use a little refresher. i didn’t know if you wanted anything so i didn’t want to give you anything you wouldn’t feel pressured to drink. let me know if you need anything else!”

all seulgi does for the rest of the night is basically hang around the room and watch everyone get kind of crazy and make sure sooyoung and yerim are staying on their feet, but with a second set of eyes she actually feels like she has more freedom

especially since you stopped giving them alcohol and basically have been serving them just juice after they started getting past the bit of tipsiness

eventually seulgi has enough of just standing around and has had enough cups of water (she had maybe 3) to finally talk to you

before she’d been working up the courage to talk to you and had come back with a refilled cup of water but noW???

NOW???

she’s ready

at least she hopes

seulgi’s marching up to you and then sooyoung is at her arm whining and sort of falling over

seulgi manages to catch her and is p disoriented by everything like what is happening is she okay??

and sooyoung is just like

“seulgiiiiiiiii i wanna go hoooome, can we get burgers?”

and before she can ask where yerim went, she suddenly pops up and joins in

“burgers? i heard burgers can we go, i was foooood”

before she knows it she’s dragged out of the house by the two and basically walking them home a couple blocks away

and now seulgi’s bummed that she didn’t get to finally talk to you like she wanted

she doesn’t even know when she’ll be able to see you again since she didn’t get your name at all and she’d be mortified by all the teasing the younger two would give her since they knew how choked up she was if she asks them who you were

she’s even kind of sulking about it and she’s so caught up in it she gets a notification from her phone that she needs to finalize things with the caterer and reserve one of the areas on campus for the club’s dinner and that reminds her she needs to shop

but as she’s on her phone she nearly swerves into somebody and it shocks her enough to bring her back to reality and she moves to apologize to the person and all of a sudden

“oh hey! you again, fancy seeing you!”

and she’s now forgotten everything since she sees you smiling at her

this time she forces herself to find her voice and not embarrass herself and it’s like her interview persona comes in and she’s got that natural confidence oozing in and she beams that pretty smile of hers right back at you

“and you too! i never thought i’d run into you again”

you laugh and all of a sudden you’re like an inch shorter and seulgi looks down and spots that you’d been riding a longboard before almost crashing into her

and she recognizes that longboard with all of the sanrio stickers on it and is that a sicker of your face with some filter on the corner of it???

but she recognizes the longboard since it’s been engraved in her mind and it just clicks for her and suddenly seulgi is scrambling to pull her backpack from behind and you just watch on like

uh r u okay? are you good? pls don’t take out some random textbook and smack me over the head with it

the hello kitty covered charger she’s been saving in her backpack is suddenly thrust into her hands and you think she’s about to stumble her words again like in those anime love confession scenes but she’s almost aggressive with it????

“i’ve been keeping this in my backpack for a few weeks! i didn’t even know what you looked like so i had no clue how to find you, do you know how stressed out you made me? you’ve been on my mind for almost a month!”

she doesn’t even realize how her words sound until you’re responding back in kind with another one of those easy smiles of yours

“sorry, i’ve been meaning to catch you sooner but i’ve so many labs back to back” you look at your phone and bite your lip nervously, something seulgi is a little too focused on “i actually have one in like five minutes, that’s why i almost crashed into you...”

seulgi finally realizes you’re wearing a white lab coat, something you’d worn in preparation since you were already rushing to be on time

your phone is thrust into her hands with the empty contact already loaded up 

seulgi quickly types in her number and even snaps a cute profile photo of her and it’s your turn to be stunned by her because wow that was an impromptu photo and hOW DID SHE MAKE IT SO GOOD????

and then seulgi is ushering you off because you have like thREE MINUTES BEFORE LAB and you’re like OH YEAH UH BYE!!!! I’LL CALL YOU????

and she shouts back with a “YOU BETTER!!”

and suddenly seulgi gets a phone call and when she picks up she can hear the wind rushing past the speaker and you’re kind of breathy since you’re reaLLY using those leg muscles to PUSH to that lab

“yEaH so UH i wanted to tell you but i didn’t get the chance since i don’t want to have to do a makeup lab??? bUT UH, i saw one of your dance performances last year and thought you were really cute!!”

seulgi vaguely remembers that because she had done a solo dance for a showcase in the performing arts department and it was basically for the students to show off what they were working on and to her it was just a homework assignment on top of like four labs and a research paper

“oh yeah! i remember that... well not really, i’d been so busy that it all just flew by”

“yeah! that was around the time you were a bio major, right? i’d been meaning to talk to you then, but i wasn’t able to since you switch majors afterwards!”

“ah, bio as well?”

she hears your voice echo and she knows you’ve entered the building by now

relief floods her system that she didn’t keep you too long 

“nah, i’m a chem major. it translates pretty well to mixing drinks, huh?”

instead of getting embarrassed and recounting that previous experience at the party, seulgi’s business confidence is suRGING and i mean IT IS LARGO and she’s like

“i can’t really say. you’ve only made me water, so i’ll have to see another time?”

at this point you’re absolutely vibrating with excitement at the proposal of a date and you quickly accept

and that’S WHAT HAPPENED BUT YOU SPENT IT OVER A HOMEMADE DINNER WITH WINE AND SEULGI COULD NOT HAVE BEEN MORE IMPRESSED?!?!?!?!?

you’d cooked it all and brought it to her apartment since you said your housemates were hosting some study session so you just offered to bring it all over

she’s also shocked you managed to find time to do all of this given the busy stem major life and how she was struggling before

but she’s also mentioning that giving her one cup of wine doesn’t mean that’s mixing up a drink so you’ll have to do this again

and it happens aGAIN when you’re at a restaurant this time and it’s a pretty nice one near campus and y’all are just chatting away about seulgi’s women in business club dinner and she invites you to be her plus one aSDFKNSLF sHE MAY HAVE BEEN TOO SHY TO SAY DATE BUT YOU GOT THE MESSAGE

bUT AT THE SAME TIME the restaurant is the one making the drinks, so you’ll have to have her over again and mix something up

and sooyoung and yerim and just so distraught lIKE GO OUT ALREADY

and seulgi’s like we are?????? WE ARE????? WE ARE GOING ON DATES AND STUFF

but they just groan out and are about to storm up to in the middle of a lab and just hand seulgi over like

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE JUST CALL HER YOUR GIRLFRIEND ALREADY

when you finally do it’s funny because it’s at another party that sooyoung and yerim invite her to and you’re there mixing it up again but she didn’t realize that the first party where she met you was your house????

she’s hanging out with you in the kitchen and you’ve made her a cup of something sweet and seulgi has to admit that it is pretty good

and you just wink at her saying that your chemistry skills are actually pretty good

BUT THE CHEMISTRY BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU IS EVEN BETTER HEHEHE

and you’re totally not just hanging out in the kitchen away from the sweaty dancing crowd and sticky floor you’re having your housemates clean up since you’re the drink master

and yOU ARE ABSOLUTELY NOT STEALING KISSES FROM EACH OTHER WHILE SEULGI’S SITTING ON THE COUNTER AND YOU’RE PRETENDING TO REACH AROUND HER FOR A BOTTLE BUT NO INSTEAD YOU’RE REACHING FOR HER WAIST AND HOLDING HER CLOSE AS YOU KISS HER AND NOW YOU’RE SMILING AGAINST EACH OTHER’S LIPS

you spend late nights in the library together now and you’re also most of seulgi’s impulse control when it comes to making plans and doing stuff

mainly because you’re telling her that no-no do not force yourself to go to that resume workshop you’ve been to them enough times to LEAD those

and then she gets all excited like REALLY DO YOU THINK THEY’D LET ME?!?!?!

and you’re like no stOP WE’RE STAYING IN FOR A MOVIE NIGHT AND WATCHING CARS 2

but it’s also funny to see seulgi falling asleep against your shoulder and her mouth is hanging wide open and you’ve set so many pictures of her like that as your homescreen and been yelled at too many times to change it

and when you do change it, it’s just a different picture of her in that position from a different day

she likes to run through her speeches and presentations with you and you find it so cool that she’s so poised when doing that BUt she gets so shy when she wants a kiss but doesn’t want to say so and SHE KNOWS you know she wants a kiss

you’re constantly doing her buns for her since you’ve had some practice keeping your own hair out of your face for labs but also getting tips from other girls in your labs and lectures and when they find out the reason why they’re just like pLS YOU TWO GET MARRIED

but the closest they can see the two of you dress up together is when seulgi decides to wear her business clothes out on a date and you’ve gotten stuff to match her and now you’re basically a ceo power couple walking around campus to go return some books to the library

you sitting in on her meetings and watching with lovestruck eyes as she basically spends the good half of it also staring right back at you and when they’re in discussion or activities she just clings to your side and cuddles you

you teach her how to longboard and she’s still a little wobbly but it’s SO CUTE when she’s fearfully holding onto your hands and staring down at her feet and shouting at you to NOT LET GO AT ANY COST

eventually she gives up on that and buys a pair of rollerblades instead so you can just pull her around while she hangs onto your backpack strings while you move on the longboard

BUT WHAT MAKES EVERYONE JEALOUS???

you hold her hand instead :)

she’s just laughing and giggling and being all around smiley when your hands are linked and you’re rolling around campus with her in tow

you even go to all of her dance events as well!!!

she’s been able to put a lot more effort into them since switching majors, but especially since you manage to keep her rooted and not going off doing so many things at once

she also wants to make sure she looks good for you

when does she not though??

y’all are literally tooth rotting sweet for each other

it’s the absolute cutest thing and you totally didn’t put a sticker of her sleeping face with her mouth open on your longboard........ and on your charger...... and the laptop........ and hers.... -q- zzZZZ

[trensu]

Episode 12: The One where Everyone Goes to Evil Summer School and Has a Bad Time

And we’re off to a bad start bc we’re at Evil Summer School and WC is monologuing like the world’s shittiest villain

His flunkies take everyone’s swords and wwx whispers “lan zhan” after watching lwj hand over his sword (LIKE, THE ONE THING HE HAS LEFT OF HIS HOME *SOBS*)

Lwj ignores him tho

And then keeps ignoring him

Be easy on him, folks, he’s overcoming some trauma

We get more useless wc monologuing

But we’ll ignore him and focus instead on how wwx keeps throwing worried little glances at lwj

(hey remember how last episode i told you all about lwj’s capture and subsequent injury even tho it wasn’t wangxian moment?? IT PAYS OFF IN THIS EPISODE WITH MULTIPLE WANGXIAN MOMENTS)

(also, just fyi at this point wwx still doesn’t know what all went down at the cloud recesses or that lwj is injured; i mean yeah, wc bragged to him about it but what, we’re gonna take him at his word? Heck no)

Wc assigns the class homework - Memorizing Wen Clan Rules

So we see wwx being all studious

He and jc are dragging the wen clan for their hypocrisy and then wwx has an Epiphany

Wwx: hey, the Wen clan is so petty, they wouldn’t have just settled for LWJ attending Evil Summer School; they would’ve taken way more hostages I mean disciples!! SOMETHING BAD MUST’VE HAPPENED

And he leaps up with every intention of tracking down LWJ but some wen flunkies are guarding the door so that ends up being a no-go

But wwx is not deterred! No sir, he is coming up with a plan to finally get LWJ’s attention 

We’re back in class at Evil Summer School and wc is all i’m gonna pick ppl to recite the rules bc i’m a douchebag

And ofc he picks lwj, wwx, and jzx

Lwj: Can’t do it. Not today.

Jzx: Yeah, no, that’s Beneath me

Wwx: oh oh pick me!! I can do it!! *raises hand excitedly*

Omg wwx he already picked you, you don’t have to do that

Wc: okay, but if you get it wrong I will Punish you bc i’m an asshole that way

Cue wwx’s Classic Look of Disgust (guys, guys, i just love this expression on his face SO MUCH, i couldn’t even tell you why)

But that look quickly morphs into his Signature Mischievous Grin 

Which he aims at lwj, so ofc it looks SUPER FLIRTY ahhhhh

Lwj continues to ignore him

AGAIN I ASK, how the HELL does he keep doing that??! If i had wwx smile like that at me, he’d have my FULL UNDIVIDED ATTENTION FOREVER

Okay, here’s where a good moment becomes a GREAT moment

Wwx goes up all cocky and starts THEATRICALLY doing STRETCHES even tho all he’s doing is RECITING LINES, OMG, WWX

Wc: GET ON WITH IT

Wwx: right, right, i got this. Okay, listen carefully~!

Wwx: *STARTS RECITING LAN CLAN RULES*

THAT’S MY BOY!!! LOOK AT MY BOY GO! HOLY SHIT, THE AUDACITY. WHAT A BI-CON, I LOVE IT!!

Now lwj FINALLY looks at him!!

And it only took 14min and wwx reciting his clan’s rules to FINALLY GET A REACTION

Wc: HOW DARE YOU RECITE LAN CLAN RULES IN QISHAN

Wwx: oh dear, oh gosh, how foolish of me! I am SO sorry i got them all mixed up!!

And then he literally pats himself on the back with a pleased little smirk

And that’s how jzx, lwj, and wwx end up in Evil Detention carrying manure to the vegetable fields

Lwj is just pouring the manure out of the buckets

Wwx: lan zhan, you want me to find you a scooper?

Lwj: *ignores him*

Jzx: *unwillingly bears witness to this and rolls his eyes*

(don’t even, jzx, you het disaster)

Wwx: hey lan zhan, how come your clan has a silencing spell but not a spell that blocks out gross smells?

Lwj: *picks up empty buckets and leaves, CONTINUING TO IGNORE WWX FOR SOME INEXPLICABLE REASON*

Here wwx just sloppily dumps out his buckets and chases after him

As they walk over to wherever they need to go to refill their buckets, wwx starts asking lwj Plot Questions and generally worrying about him

Which could’ve become a sweet moment

Except that wc shows up to ruin the moment with his, you know, general existence

So obviously wwx has to go and insult wc to his face, right? HE WAS TRYING TO HAVE QUALITY TIME WITH HIS SOULMATE, GODDAMNIT

Wc tries to whip wwx but wwx catches it like a BADASS and is all “don’t try me”

But then wc gets his flunkies to tie up wwx!! (i’m telling you guys, this clan really seems to have a thing for tying/chaining people up)

Lwj sees that his soulmate is defenseless and is like, can’t have that happening and goes to defend him!!

Ugghhh but that ASSHOLE WEN CHAO GOES AND HITS LWJ ON HIS INJURED LEG WHICH SENDS LWJ TUMBLING INTO THE GROUND

Wwx: HEY, leave him alone! I was the one insulting you!!

DO YOU SEE THAT GUYS?? THEY ALWAYS DEFEND EACH OTHER!!

And actually this starts up a general pattern for them: lwj always defends wwx physically and wwx always defends lwj verbally

IT’S SO BEAUTIFUL. THEY COVER EACH OTHER’S WEAK SPOTS WITHOUT EVEN REALIZING IT!! 

(lwj isn’t all that good with words as you know, and wwx has this talent of making everyone around him want to punch him in the face, his beautiful beautiful face)

Wc goes to whip wwx again, but LWJ gets up on his feet in an instant (even with the leg wound!!) and catches the whip ONE-HANDED AND YANKS IT OUT OF WC’S GRASP

LIKE, DON’T FUCKING TOUCH MY SOULMATE YOU SLIMY BASTARD

Obvs he didn’t say that, but you can see it in his eyes that that’s exactly what he was thinking, word-for-word. Trust me on this.

The wen flunkies release wwx who drops to the ground and lwj immediately grabs him by the arm

He doesn’t try to lift him up and he’s not actually holding him up

So why the arm-grabbing?

I’LL TELL YOU WHY

BC HE WANTS TO BE NEAR WWX, THAT’S WHY

And let me remind you that this is the same lwj who’s all “i don’t touch people” back in episode 5: the One with Angry bb!LWJ

Yeah, that rule doesn’t apply to wwx anymore BC SOULMATES

Although in all fairness, who wouldn’t grab onto wwx given half a chance?

Okay now wc monologues some more 

Wwx: wc, stop babbling 

(omg wwx, stop baiting him)

Wc: TAKE HIM TO THE DUNGEON

Lwj: *BOLTS UPRIGHT ON HIS INJURED LEG AND BLOCKS THEIR WAY*

Srsly, injured leg!! And it doesn’t even slow him down when it comes to protecting wwx!! And he stretches out his arm so his pretty white sleeves mostly cover wwx from view

Wc: don’t worry, the dungeon’s big enough for two (wc you slimy bastard, you’re ruining everyone’s sex dungeon fantasies)

Wwx: *pushes away lwj’s arm* nah, just take me. The dungeon’s bound to be cooler than being out on these sunny fields anyway lol

And now we have this terrible moment where we see wwx be well and truly terrified for the first time in the show

He’s thrown into the dungeon WHILE CHAINED UP and there’s this HUGE MUTANT DOG MONSTER

Poor wwx visibly pales and breaks out into a cold sweat while wen chao mocks him (I HATE HIM SO MUCH)

Okay, i’d like to take a moment here to fully acknowledge that this dog monster thing is, like, really horrible effects-wise. We all know this. But we’re gonna pretend for sake of the Emotional Trauma it causes our darling wwx that it’s actually a big scary thing, okay?

Anyway

WEN NING TO THE RESCUE - knocks out the dog with strategically placed needles and provides wwx Medicine Pouch and Medicine Bottle 

he’s like, i stole medicine for you bc we’re bffs and i’d die for you (which he does eventually lololol I’M SORRY THAT WAS AWFUL)

I’m sure you’re all hey trensu, this isn’t a wangxian moment you said this was a wangxian guide, what the heck

BUT IT IS A WANGXIAN MOMENT and also it sets us up for ANOTHER wangxian moment later on in the show!

It’s a wangxian moment now bc wen ning provides the info wwx has been trying to get this whole time, aka what the heck is up with lwj and the cloud recesses?

Wwx looks utterly DEVASTATED when wn tells him lwj’s home was burned

And when he tells wwx about the wens breaking lwj’s leg?

FUCKING FURIOUS

HE’S SO ANGRY THAT THEY HURT HIS LAN ZHAN

HE PUNCHES THE STONE FLOOR OF HIS CELL WITH AN ALREADY BLOODIED UP HAND

THAT’S HOW ANGRY HE IS

See? Totally a wangxian moment

Oh, and then we see him take like, only one (1) medicine piece from Medicine Bottle and then slips the it and the Medicine Pouch into his robes

Wwx: i’ll save this for lan zhan

I’LL SAVE THIS FOR LAN ZHAN, HE SAYS

HE’S INJURED AND CHAINED UP AND HE’S SAVING THE MAJORITY OF THE MEDICINE FOR LAN ZHAN

BC HE LOVES HIM

AHHHHHH

Okay now we’re back in class (and wtf, wwx has to attend class even after all that??)

Wwx is still looking all wrung-out and bloodied

We see lwj look at wwx all concerned!

Plot stuff happens

More plot stuff

Now we get set up for our last wangxian moment of the episode!!

Wen Flunkie: hey boss, there’s this monster in this mountain that probably someone should get rid off

Wc: oh cool, good thing i’ve got all these hostages i mean cannon fodder I MEAN visiting disciples with me. Let’s do it!

TIME FOR A FIELD TRIP (OF EVIL)!!!

Wen chao is on a horse with his girlfriend while everyone else is walking bc wc is the WORST PERSON

Then oh no, lwj is visibly limping as they go on!!

And wwx looks over and sees lwj limping

~THEIR SONG~ STARTS GENTLY PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND AHH AHHHHH

IDK IF YOU GUYS NOTICED YET BUT THAT’S OUR CUE THAT SOME GOOD WANGXIANTICS IS COMING UP

Wwx does not hesitate even a minute to go help him!! BC THAT’S WHAT SOULMATES DO

But JC ofc holds him back (what the heck jc), and he’s all leave him alone, you’ve helped him enough already

And wwx is like, HE JUST LOST HIS HOME, JC!! AND HIS LEG IS BROKEN. WHAT IF HE LOSES HIS LEG??

JC: it’s not like he’ll let you close enough to carry him anyway!!

Wwx: well that’s his choice BUT I STILL GOTTA OFFER BC I LOVE HIM, HE NEEDS TO KNOW IT’S AN OPTION!!

JC: we can’t stick our noses in his business!

Wwx: well SOMEBODY has to help him!!

And he flounces off to go to lwj

Wwx: lan zhan, how’s your leg?

Lwj: it’s fine

He says, y’know, like a liar.

Wwx: hey, we’re friends, you can be honest with me!! Are you sure your leg is okay??

Lwj: it’s fine

GOD DAMN IT LWJ, HE’S TRYING TO HELP YOU

Wwx: don’t pretend it’s fine all the time!! I can carry you~! 

OMG HE SAYS THIS WITH THE SWEETEST, MOST SINCERE SMILE, GUYS

HE WANTS TO HELP LWJ SO BAD

HE WANTS LWJ TO LET HIM CLOSE!! 

BECAUSE HE LOVES HIM, AHHHHH

And with that sweet, sincere smile, the episode ends

On a high note!!

Lovely, lovely, it was lovely, i want to stare at that smile forever

Return to Masterpost

[bibibuckleyy]

my thoughts on ‘The taking of Dispach 9-1-1′

this was SUCH a good episode from start to finish! *pulls out a slide show* Now i’ll show you breaking down every. single. scene-

jk lmao...unless?

spoilers below the cut!

lord. have. mercy.

these hoes are givin me major heist vibes

tiffany bby ur the driver but for me to acknowledge you as such you better be Letty Ortiz good hun

wow these thugs are a lot my organized than i first thought like i know they was carryin guns but i aint know they was packin this much like damn

Oceans 8 who?

so i wanna know where they just...got a cop car???

OH HELL NAH Y’ALL BEST NOT MESS WITH TERRY

I MEAN ANA MAY BE HIS SISTER

AND  SHE MAY BE MAKIN MOVES ON EDDIE 

BUT IN THIS HOUSE WE LOVE TERRY FLORES SO YOU GET YOUR GUN AWAY FROM SUNSHINE BBY

it’s kinda funny rewatching this scene when you know what’s about to go down

like i’m cacklin like ‘oh shooooot dramaaaa’

but i’m also like ‘SOMEONE GRAB JOSH AND RUN’

“temporary maintenance, happens all the time” cool cool cool 

i’m not freakin out you’re freakin out

josh and maddie are like friend goals i love their dynamic like yoooo

hi yes could you please get that gun away from terry’s head i would really appreciate it.

OMG SECURITY DUDE NOOOO

wow ur like the only line of defense in the dispatch center and they just kicked ur ass

is this where our tax dollars are goin??

fly high josh’s mug, fly high

that absolute look of fear on his face tho, still breaks my heart

josh russo defense squad post up homies

“i love you, howie” nope nope nope didn’t like it the second time either

when that gun went off

LET ME TELL YOU

i just,,,waited for the blood to start comin out of terry

thank god it wasn’t him

good scene lmaooo 9-1-1 writers i hate you all lmao lmao

“bees are the least of your troubles here, sweetheart” I HATE YOU DUDE

someone call mama grant please

“we’ve got dispatch” i do not like this ma’am i’d like to speak to the manager

“you’ll shoot us” man shut the hell up-

“no, we’ll shoot the person next you you” this dude is insane

lookin like mr.clean’s evil cousin LMAOOOOO

“you only do something like this so you can do something...worse”

um whAT-

“you’re being paranoid, she’s fine” CHIMNEY NO NO NO

i don’t think i’ve ever thrown this much popcorn at my tv in my life

as chimney said “don’t do it man” just picture a 5′5 lightskinned girl tripping over her blanket while yelling “DO IT CHIM, DO IT!” and you’ll have me

“sorry, we are experiencing a high call volume” BITCH MORE LIKE A HIGH CRIME VOLUME SOMEBODY GET MAMA GRANT DAMNIT-

*screams* BUUUUUUUUCK 

HI BBY

ooh nice shirt, i guess pink isn’t the only color that suits ya

he looks good in all the colors

whole damn snaaaaack

not to be an idiot on main but seriously, who watches the watchmen?

“i miss like an earthquake or something?” lmao chim is a whole vibe

“wait....why are you calling 9-1-1, is everything ok?” paired with that cute adorable concerned face he made is making me cry ok we don’t deserve buck T-T

“she’s at the call center, what could happen?” AT LOT ACTUALLY

OH THANK YOU JESUS IT’S ATHENA FUCKIN FINALLY 

*cries* mama grant you won’t believe the day i’ve had

“he’s my husband” LMAOOOOO WHAT

whoa tiffany we’ve already had our fair share of mail bombs here that bet’ not be what i think it is

THE PACKAGE IS VIBRATING AND BLINKING TAKE COVER-

ohhhhhhhhhh

it’s just takin out the security systems lmao 

“technical difficulties” BITCH MORE  LIKE CRIMINAL DIFFICULTIES

“i bet this woman really thinks you’re...worthwhile.” JOSH BBY DON’T LISTEN TO A WORD HE SAYS EVERYONE LOVES YOU

ahaha thanks i did not need those flashbacks it hurt enough the first time 

“a woman called about an omelet, i dispatched an officer”

“to the restaurant?”

“not exactly”

???

“i tried calling josh, but no answer” aww josh and buck are friendssssss :)

JOSH HAS BEEN ADOPTED BY THE FIREFAM PASS IT ON

:0

JOSH YOU GENIUS

YOU SMART SMART CINNAMON ROLL

MAMA GRANT IT’S TIME TO MAKE SOME MOVES

“nO NO CHIMNEY DON’T HANG UP!” i shouldn’t have laughed so hard

oh great he’s hastily grabbing his jacket. he’s about to do something rash and irresponsible

....someone call eddie.

that’s some good heist music right there

the bad guys look stressed....good.

“you’re here so i can keep an eye on you and make sure you don’t do anything foolish” BUT YOU LEFT BUCK

OK BUCK I LOVE YOU BBY

BUT YOU HAVE THIS HABIT OF TURNIN INTO SPECIAL AGENT 007 REAL FAST WHEN YOUR FRIENDS ARE IN TROUBLE MAN

LIKE

HE’S THE ‘EVERYONE BEFORE ME’ MEMBER OF THE FIREFAM

mama grant i ain’t questionin your authority or nun but like???

WHY WOULD YOU NOT KEEP AN EYE ON BUCK TOO?

HE’S THE MOST LIKELY CANDIDATE TO DO SOMETHIN STUPID

thats some reckless drivin there buckaroo

buck who were you tryna fool tho

athena only knows one golden retriever dude in this city who drives a grey and black jeep

“ok now, don’t be mad” LMAOOOOOOOO

HANDS DOWN ONE OF MY FAVE SCENES

HE KNEW HIS MOM WAS PISSED TOO LMAOOOO

athena’s look is sending meeeeee 😂😂

omg my god😭😂

“hey buck”

“...hey chim”

athena has some dumbass kids yo

the best part is, she knows it

the way mr. clean broke his neck when dude said ‘police cruiser’ LMAOOOO

“and if it’s not normal?”

“we’ll find out”

*blasts boss bitch*

i love the way buck is kinda concerned for his mom tho

and athena’s just like ‘it’s no sweat sweetie i do this every day’

“shoot her”

BITCH I HOPE THE FUCK YOU DO

YOU’LL BE A DEAD SON OF A BITCH

I’LL TELL YOU THAT

“shoot her, now”

try her bitch, see what happens to yo ass. 

the 118

the call center

the entire fandom 

we will collectively end you

“we got a report of a code 77″

THANK GOD THAT GOT ATHENA OUT OF THERE

what is a code 77 you say?

“ambush, proceed with caution”

well it sure nuff aint indecent exposure

*boss bitch keeps playing cause that was super smart for her to give out a code 77*

“maddie is smart, she can take care of herself until help gets there”

HELL YEA SHE CAN

SHE KICKED DOUG’S ASS SHE’LL KICK YOURS TOO

“they’re not gonna wanna leave behind a room full of witnesses”

i’m-i’m fine, i swear-

“killing people, your solution to every problem”

excuse me? do i hear morals??

they’re really fighting each other

they some grade a stupid right there 

there’s no way they are pullin this off

terry

terry what are you doing

TERRY

RUN TERRY RUN GO GO GO

OH SHIT

JOSHHHHHHHH

i thought they were gonna shoot terry

BUT JOSH CAME THROUGH IN THE CLUTCH

wowwwwww dispatch is a lot more badass than i thought

these dudes are hard core

OH

OH JOSH NO BBY

THAT LOOKS LIKE IT HURT

aii square tf up mr. clean we don’t hit josh here and you gon have to pay for that one

the way everyone is just quietly sobbing tho

it saddens me

“I need another thirty minutes”

i’m really enjoying watching this dude’s plan crumble around him

swat posted up aii i see yall

“we’ll try to get eyes in a damn windowless room”

well when you put it that way it sounds like this is hopeless

“i’m sorry i thought you were crazy”

“i’m sorry i wasn’t”

wow i don’t think i was supposed to laugh at that

and chim bein concerned for maddie is literally one if the best things ever y’all.

completely unrelated note, anybody else see bad boys for life?

“yeah i’m ok, my ears are just ringing a little” with the TEARS and the SNIFFLES and him SMILING THROUGH THE PAIN JOSH IS TOO PURE FOR THIS 

“why do you think we asked for so many RA units?” BITCH I KNOW YOU FUCKIN LYIN

for those of y’all that ain’t kno, RA units are rescue ambulance units

way to reassure people, lady

it’s like she said ‘everyone might be lightly shot by the time this is all over’

“so you are worried. it makes sense, cause all your friends keep dissappearing are they even in the same building?” WITH THAT LOOK OF STRAIGHT SPITE DAMN MADDIE BUCKLEY, DAMNNN

we stan the BAMF BUCKLEYS

“oh my god, LINDA??” lo key thought this was real for a second

“latex! is there latex in your gloves?” greg come on man you planned a heist you can’t be this stupid

SURPRISE! LINDA IS ALLERGIC TO BEES

ENJOY YOUR EPINEPHRINE ASSHOLE

OH

OH WOW

WOW DISPATCH

Y’ALL JUST-

WOW

EVERYONES GOT GUNS AND EVERYTHING OH MY GODDDDD

GIVE IT UP FOR DISPATCH 

you know it’s really funny, cause tiffany ain’t nowhere to be found

“next one goes in your head” OOOOOOOOOOOH SHE’S A BOSS ASS BITCH BROOO YESSSSSSS

(i know, two different songs, but ya gotta admit, it applies)

“you don’t get to die” 

i just-

hands down, most powerful line in the whole episode.

it’s an odd form of vengeance, saving the man that attacked you multiple times from the release of death

 that’s what it would’ve been tho

a release

he would’ve died, and he wouldn’t of had to pay for any of his actions

but instead, josh saved his sorry ass

so he gets to pay for this in the land of the living

the best revenge, actually

and, josh saved a life

he’s worthwhile

“i’m not goin back” well i knew mr. clean was gonna die from the beginning sooooooo

“we’ve got dispatch”  and it’s finally over

i’m kinda bummed that we didn’t get to see SEAL!buck or the rest of the firefam but we got  BAMF!dispatch and that was enough lmao

kudos to those off duty dispatches as well, like y’all just walked past the dead body and moved on from the whole hostage situation to do your already stressful job

CHIM’S FACE WHEN HE SEES MADDIE I AM SOBBING

THEY SAID MADNEY RIGHTS Y’ALL😭😭😭

this hug is everythinggggg 

lo key buck watching from afar breaks my heart ahaha

“she already has everything she needs”

....this is tea for another day, but...

buck, you do know people need you as much as you need them, right?

....right?

still not over that hug tho

ayeeee wassup bobby!

how was the camping trip i was extremely against?

oooooh i love the crime recaps!

i may or may not have been like buck in the bank episode when he said ‘i’m some confused, can you start over’

...ahem....

“wait....you didn’t round her up too?”

ok listen....

while i don’t condone stealing and and the extreme amount of violence they used,

i do condone outsmarting men that think less of you because you are a woman

you are a boss tiffany, and i’m actually kind of sad you got caught

“tiffany was the real mastermind” can i just.....

*BLASTS BOSS BITCH FROM THE ROOFTOPS CAUSE WOMEN OWNED THIS EPISODE! THEY WERE SO DAMN BADASS*

thanks 9-1-1 writers for that, btw. 

gotta admit, as much as they rip out our hearts and stomp on em, they know what they are doin

jake you shady shady bitch

ngl tho both plans were solid 

maybe if it was done completely by women it would’ve worked :)

“looks  like your trip’s been delayed...by about 5 to 15 years” athena you got the best lines yo

jake f’ed up the other plan too lmaoo

like i said, if it was all women, they would’ve pulled this off

and they end it with madney

gosh i loved this episode

So! These were my thoughts on 3x14! Let me know what you think, and hit up my ask box if you want me to post my thoughts on another episode! Later taters!

Oh yeah, if you liked this you can find my thoughts on ‘Pinned’ here!

[bookscoffeeandracoons]

366 Days Reblog Challenge April 2020

Another month is already over and in these messed up times I’m even more grateful for all the amazing work by these amazingly talented writers! So without much more rambling here are the fics that i’ve read and reblogged for @beccaanne814‘s 366 Days Reblog Challenge. And thanks again to @beccaanne814​ for the wonderful banners!

Happy reading!

01. Patching up by @petals-sunwards

Clint Barton x Reader

Warnings: mentions of blood and injury, a little angst and fluff

Prompt: Can you go a single day without accidentally hurting yourself?

02. A Good Suit by @portals-to-a-new-world

Leonard McCoy x Reader

Warnings: SMUT, 18+ ONLY!!, Some language, Mentions of being tied up, Oral (male receiving), uhhh I think that’s it tho

What? I have to give a massive massive shoutout to @bakerstreethound for the idea: {So have a later night party at the enterprise (can be for Kirk’s birthday, but let’s say you and Kirk are on bad terms so you don’t go to the party) you stay in your room tussling with your body pillow to make up for Bones absence. You wake up to find him sitting on your bed wearing the suit he went to Kirk’s party in.} Love, you’ve absolutely slaughtered me in this process but oml was it worth it. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it <3

03. A Bad Boy by @portals-to-a-new-world 

Leonard McCoy x Reader

Warnings: Listen. We all know I’m a slut for suits. So you can bet your ass this is as smutty as all hell. That being said, semi public almost smut, language, being tied up, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it yall), oral (male receiving), mild choking, dom!reader, listen it’s straight filth kay? Kay.

What?: Bones doesn’t want to go to a random 1920s themed party, so Y/n offers him a challenge. Smut ensues. (Sequel to A Good Suit.)

04.  One Night In Vegas by @avengerscompound

Tony Stark x F!Reader

Warning:  Talk of sex, aftermath of drinking and drug use

Summary:  You wake up in a Vegas suite with Tony Stark wearing the biggest diamond ring you’ve seen in your life.  The two of you then try and piece the night together

05. Your Prince, My King by @official-and-unstable-satan

Loki x Reader

Warnings: Dominant Loki. Language. Mentions of insecurities and mental health. Degradation and praise. Bondage? SEX Oral (Male and female receiving) and ACTUAL SEX ETA: Orgasm denial/delay (cause that’s apparently a warning? Didn’t know. Sorry) Odin in general. Loki. Reader being snarky and short tempered. Insecurities. Mentions of trauma. Language, probably. Bad writing? Idk what to put here, really. I’m bad at this. Smut. Mentions of smut. Actual filth. Out of character characters, probably. One day I’ll stop apologizing for my writing. I’m working on it.

06. Surprise by @mermaidxatxheart

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: Swearing. If you think I missed anything, please let me know.

Summary: You try to get away with something, but Bucky catches you in the act.

07.  drive-through by @evanstarff

(i must have missed something here beause i can’t get to this fic anymore. @evanstarff seems to be gone. I’ll still leave the fic here, in case anyone knows if @evanstarff maybe has a new blog or something, please let me know!)

08.  Scabulous by @avengerscompound

Bucky Barnes x F!Reader

Warnings:  Mentions of past injuries, poor feelings about body image, scars

Synopsis:  Bucky is unwilling to undress in front of you because he hates his scars.  Turn out he isn’t the only one with scars.

09.  Skin Contact by @avengerscompound

Bucky Barnes x F!Reader

Series Warnings:  Angst, smut (hand jobs, vaginal sex, fingering), PTSD, mentions of past torture.  Superpowered Reader.

Synopsis: While on the run in Romania you come across a man who has a past very similar to your own.  When the people pursuing him track him down, you assume you will never see him again.

10. Mind Control by @avengerscompound

Bucky Barnes x F!Reader

Series Warnings:  Angst, smut (vaginal sex, oral sex), PTSD, mentions of past torture.  Superpowered Reader.

Synopsis: While on the run in Romania you come across a man who has a past very similar to your own.  When the people pursuing him track him down, you assume you will never see him again.

11. CRUSH by @petals-sunwards

Clint Barton x Reader

Warnings: none, pure fluff and kisses

Written for @stuckonjbbarnes‘s 250 Writing challenge. My prompt was ‘You know, I’m really good at telling who has crushes on who‘ and I had a blast writing it.

12. An Exquisite Kind of Pain by @redgillan

Steve Rogers x Reader

Warnings: read it and you’ll see

Summary: Steve’s in love and that’s the problem.

The five times Bucky saved you…

…and the one time you saved him 

by @buckysknifecollection

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Series warnings: some mild swearing, mention of dangerous situations, death mention, injuries, mentions of men objectifying women; other than that - toothrotting fluff.

Summary: You have a special bond with Bucky. He’s more than your best friend, your partner in missions, the person you care most about. He often saved you from uncomfortable situations, always ready to protect you, but sometimes, you are the one who did the saving. A series of drabbles.

13. Part 1 

14. Part 2 

15. Part 3 

16. Part 4

17. Part 5

18. Part 6

19. Ink on his heart by @bitsandbobsandstuff

Bucky Barnes x TattooArtist!Reader

Warnings: Tattoo experiences, a couple stories about war. Some swearing. Mostly lots of feels and fluff.

Summary: Here’s how Bucky Barnes got a haircut and then decided it was about damn time he controlled his own destiny - starting with a bit of ink.

20. Friends in Training by @until-theend-oftheline

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: Sam and Bucky are giant children

A/N: This is a drabble request written for @jewels2876 : How about this with Sam and Bucky? “Are you clinically insane or incredibly annoying?” “I don’t know, probably both?"

21.  Right Where You Are, That’s Where I Am by @corneliabarnes

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: Angst, allusions to violence and PTSD, fluffy ending

22.  Looking Up by @avengerscompound​

Clint Barton x Reader (kinda)

Warnings:  action, canon-typical violence, Clint’s naked and a very proud boyfriend.

Synopsis:  Clint’s day was looking up. His girlfriend slept over for the first time. He’s pretty sure she’s a Jedi. He was having a nice bath. So how is it he’s now running down the street naked from gunmen?

23.  Distant Connection by @abovethesmokestacks​

A Bucky x Reader drabble series based on this post

Summary: You happen to be in the office when the email is sent out, you get Trip from IT to help you set up the VPN you need to be able to access company systems from home, you rifle through all of your folders and then just dump all of them in a box. It’s a surreal feeling because you are essentially cleaning out your office. As if you’re losing your job. This will be fine. You send an email to your project collaborator, someone named Barnes, suggesting a first video conference call on Monday before you log off.

This is fine.

Chapter 1: This Is Fine

Chapter 2: Introvert Olympics

Chapter 3: Business As Casual

Chapter 4: Jeremy Bearimy

Chapter 5: Toilet Paper Confessionals

Chapter 6: Netflix And I Have No Chill

Chapter 7: Social Dumbassing

24. Assemble: Bucky Barnes by @official-and-unstable-satan​

Bucky Barnes

Warnings: Language, Bucky struggling a little with the whole idea. I think that’s it.

Summary:  James Barnes remembers. He remembers the words. He remembers their meanings. He remembers what they made him do and he fears them. Even after he was ‘fixed’ by Shuri, he feared them. So, someone suggested he learn to love the words by associating the ways they could help him instead of hurt him.

25. Request for the “Until We Meet Again Series” by @sgtjbuccky​

Bucky Barnes x Enhanced!Reader

Warnings: a little swearing,

Request:  Omggg I have a idea for “until we meet again What if the reader loses her memory and goes to the Avengers because that’s the last place you remember is being, and then like they tell her about herself and they end up finding the prodigies or sum YASSSSS I LOVE YOUR STORIES 😝

26. Audiobook of Love by @nerdy-bookworm-1998​

Steve Rogers x Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: Fluff

Summary: Steve and Bucky are missing their best girl while on a mission, but she has a special surprise  for them.

27. Sore Loser by @squirrel-moose-winchester​

Dean Winchester x Reader

Warning: Fluff, Gambling (is hustling money considered gambling?), Some Crack, Dean being Petty.

Summary: Y/N learns a few new tricks and hustles Dean, the king of pool, out of all his money.

28. Best Laid Plans by @suz-123​

A Falcon and Winter Soldier TV Fic *obviously this is NOT spoiler heavy as the show has not even been filmed yet*

Warnings: None really, just my usual casual cursing and sassy soldiers.

A/N: So, there was a post on here that went around yesterday about a plot theory as to what Zemo was going to be doing to tear these guys apart in their future TV show. Naturally, I was livid with this stupid idea and, naturally, I used the magic of fanfic to fix a problem that may or may not ever actually see the light of day :D

29.  Major Crush by @redgillan​

Steve Rogers x Reader

Warnings: Explicit Language, Dirty Talk, Groping

Summary: Laser Tag brings out Steve Rogers’ competitive side and Reader loves it.

30. Count on It by @team-iron-wannabe-man​

40’s!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Y/N isn’t too impressed with the Infamous Sergeant James B. Barnes, however Bucky is definitely interested in her.

______________________________________________________________

That was all the fics I’ve read for the Reblog Challenge in April! A big THANK YOU again to all the writers! This time would be so much more difficult without all your work! 

For the readers: if you search my blog for the tag #fic rec you’ll find even more to read!

Stay healthy everyone and lots of love to you all! ❤

Back to main Masterlist 

[365daysofsasuhina]

[ 365 Days of SasuHina || Day Two Hundred Seventy-Three: A Screeching Halt ] [ Uchiha Sasuke, Hyūga Hinata ] [ SasuHina, blood, serious injury ] [ Verse: Best Years of Your Life ] [ AO3 Link ]

“All right, I’ll see you after class, then.”

“Okay! So, are we still going to have our take-out and movie Friday, or…?”

Sasuke chuckles, bringing his wife forward with an arm around her waist, planting a kiss against her temple. “Of course. I even delayed a quiz so I’d have less to grade this weekend.”

“Oh, scandalous, putting aside your work!” Hinata can’t help but tease, going a light shade of pink at the gesture.

“Hey, you teach first graders, you don’t have to deal with teenagers and their boatloads of homework like I do. If I want to give myself a break, I’ll do it. We’re not about to fall that far behind on the curriculum. We’ve had this planned for two weeks, now. A few days’ break from an algebra quiz won’t kill anyone.”

“All right, all right...well, I better get going. I’ve got a mini field trip to prepare for.”

“Heading to the park for the day?”

“Mhm. The high school band is hosting a concert and the elementary classes all get to go watch.”

“You’ll have to tell me how it goes.”

“I will. See you later, hun.”

“Bye.” Dropping Hinata off in front of their small town’s elementary school, Sasuke watches her reach the door before heading off further down the street to the high school. While his wife is a first grade teacher, he himself hosts algebra classes, typically for freshmen, but a few older students tend to get sprinkled in. True to his word, he’s skipping their quiz that was scheduled so he can, instead, have a guilt-free night without anything to grade to finally get a little peace and quiet with his wife. With the school year newly begun, they’ve both been up to their ears with work since the tail end of August. Any chance they get for a break is more than welcome.

Parking in the staff lot, Sasuke fetches his supplies from the back seat before making his way into the building...which means navigating a sea of teenagers. Easing his way through, he occasionally gives a greeting, nodding to students he knows. At one point he gently taps a teen’s head, giving him a scolding look at having found him lip-locked with his girlfriend.

“Try to keep PDA to a minimum, please,” Sasuke chides with a sigh.

The pair just pout, making no promises either way as they sulk. Sasuke just snorts. He knows well how it was being a teenager in love...at least, a bit. He and Hinata didn’t really get together until their senior year, carrying on into college when they both went into the same basic major of education, just with different focuses. While Hinata loves small children and early education, Sasuke prefers math and people a little more...grown up.

...not that all teenagers are mature, by any means.

Making his way into his classroom, he starts sorting through his things: reviewing today’s lesson plan, making sure he has graded homework to pass back, taking out today’s roll call sheet...and sending Hinata a quick text.

Did you pick a movie, by the way?

As he awaits her reply, he glances up as a few early bird students file in before the bell, eyes then lowering back to their textbook. His first period class has actually turned out to be one of his most productive, averaging a bit higher grades than the other slots he has through the day.

His mobile then buzzes.

Hm, not yet...we’ll have to browse Netflix and see what’s what. Should we watch an old favorite, or try something new?

He mulls that over.

Personally, if this is a relaxing kind of night, I’d prefer something we know so we don’t have to pay TOO close of attention...I might just doze off.

After a pause she responds, and he can almost hear her laugh.

All right, oldie but goodie it is! But next time I want to see that new drama...can’t remember the name but you can’t put it off forever :P

Sasuke can’t help a snort. Oh, yes he can.

But by then the warning bell rings, so he puts the phone on silent and gets ready to address his gaggle of teens. What with it being Friday, he doesn’t have the highest expectations for attention spans, but...hopefully they can get through his lesson, and then they’ll have all weekend to study. Or...in most cases, probably just cram a bit Sunday night.

He knows their ways.

“All right class,” he calls as the final bell rings, every desk occupied. “I’ll take roll call, and then we’ll jump right into things. I know you’re all eager to get through to the weekend, so...let’s just get today’s lesson over with, shall we?”

With everyone in attendance, he dives right into their current chapter section, explaining and giving examples on the white board. A few students have questions toward the end, but otherwise it seems to be smooth sailing.

So, when the bell rings, he announces the upcoming quiz as they take their leave. “Be ready on Monday! No homework for today, so go enjoy your weekend outside studying, all right?”

Second period he has free, finishing up a few stray assignments for an afternoon class he has yet to finish grading. When third period rolls around, he finds several students missing.

“They’re at the park for the concert,” one girl explains, and Sasuke nods in understanding.

“Right, the one for the little kids, gotcha. All right, well let’s get started, and -”

Before he can go on, the door slams open, and the entire class (including him) give a jolt. Beyond it is the gym teacher, looking harried and out of breath.

“Sasuke, I’m sorry but - your wife, she -”

Dread immediately weighs in his gut like a stone. “...what happened?”

“There was a-a car, and -” He swallows. “She was leading her class across the road to the park. They aren’t sure if the driver was drunk or not, but Hinata was struck, and -”

Sasuke’s face slackens, quickly draining of color. “...I...I have to -?”

“I’m free this period, I’ll watch your kids - get going!”

Nodding jerkily, Sasuke wastes no time in rushing past him through the door, sprinting down the hall to the door nearest the elementary school as frantic voices fill his classroom.

Please, please no...please no!

Shoving the door open, he doesn’t slow down, running flat out the entire way to the school and the park across the road. Already there’s sirens cutting through the air as the local ambulance makes its way to the scene. Elementary school students are gathered in the park, many crying as confusion and panic spread through the classes like a wildfire.

On the sidewalk, several teachers are gathered around, frantic and gesturing. One looks up, and he recognizes the elementary nurse. “Oh Sasuke, good you’re here - she’s pretty badly hurt, but she’s going to be okay. I think she’s got a few broken ribs and a broken arm, but her head and spine appear to be fine. We’re not moving her just in case, until the EMTs get here.”

Let through as the other adults part, Sasuke feels his heart stop in his chest. Hinata lays on the sidewalk, a bit of blood smeared across her chin. Her breath is short and gasping, an arm wrapped around her middle with a grimace of pain. The other lies weakly along her side.

“Oh shit...Hinata…” Carefully kneeling, he gently lays a hand on her shoulder. “Honey, I’m here…”

“Sasuke…? Oh, thank God...I-I’m all right, just...just a little banged up.”

“Shh, don’t talk - save your energy, and don’t make it any worse for those ribs.” He smooths at her bangs, expression gaunt with worry and apprehension. A glance up, and he asks, “What happened?”

“Hinata was leading her kids across the street when a car just...swerved around the corner,” a man replies, tone hushed. “It was all over the road, and going far above the speed limit. Hinata managed to corral the kids and get them out of the way just in time, but she was hit instead. The car tried to stop, the tires screeched something awful, but...it was still moving at a good clip when it hit her. She saved those kids...no telling the damage someone that small would have had. She kept them from panicking and scattering all over the road...”

“And the driver?”

The other teacher nods, and Sasuke looks up. Only then does he see the car smashed into a tree, a small swarm of police cars surrounding it.

“Seems they were in some kind of high speed chase. What possessed them to go through a school zone is beyond me…”

Siren blaring, the ambulance finally pulls up, EMTs rushing to evaluate the situation. Once they have her checked out, a stretcher is fetched, Hinata lifted onto it and loaded into the back.

“Sir, are you her husband?”

“Yes, I am. Can I go with you?”

“Of course.”

Turning back, a teacher lifts a hand in understanding before Sasuke can speak. “We’ll get word to the high school. I’m sure they’ll understand.”

“Thank you…” Climbing in beside his wife, Sasuke takes her hand, face still drawn.

“I’m all right, Sasuke...it could be w-worse.”

“I know, but that doesn’t make it any better. You got hit by a car…!”

“A few weeks, and I’ll be right as rain,” she assures him, smiling tiredly. “But...I guess this m-means we’ll miss our movie night...huh?”

“...I’m sure we can reschedule. For now...you’re my priority.”

Lacking any more words, Hinata just blinks slowly at him as the doors are closed and they pull away.

                                                             .oOo.

     Oh man, I hate writing a hurt Hinata ;o; But this was the first thing that came to mind upon reading the prompt. She'll be okay, just needs some recup time...and she was a hero saving those kidlings! Poor Sasuke's very shook up, tho...      Anyway, not...much else to say? I'm v tired and tomorrow's gonna be a long one, so I better get some sleep~ Thanks for reading!

[its-kaijean-blog]

Traveling to 5 countries with your family (1-Bangkok, Thailand)

I would first like to say that there are pros and cons in traveling with your family, especially when you’re doing multiple countries in just a few days, which I will list at the end of this blog. Nonetheless, this has been a memorable trip for our family and I will do it again no questions asked.

So, here we go. Let me tell you first that this happened on my birthday week. I planned this travel months before and was really planning on going solo. However, my mom kept on saying that she wants to go as well but they had a prior appointment set and do not know if she could come. Then, like a month before the planned travel, my mom suddenly said, that she can go now, of course, with my dad and our youngest brother. So I booked them a flight as well and updated the hotel booking I had prior. I told them that I planned on touring just 3 countries and there would be a lot of land travel--backpacker style, she said it was fine and I was like, are you sure?? Again, it was fine is what she said, and asked if we could add more countries to the itinerary, which I did.

Initially, it was only Cambodia that I wanted to visit, so I booked a round trip for that. However, I decided I could land travel, so I added up Thailand and Vietnam in the list. That was back when I was going solo. Arrive in Cambodia, land travel to Thailand on the second day, then go back to Cambodia, traverse down to Vietnam and go back to Cambodia for the flight home. It wasn’t a good plan to be honest, because I just decided last minute and already booked the flight. I was thinking then that it was okay since I can manage by myself and have no one to look after. After adding up my parents and brother to the party, I started to get worried if they can manage the trip.

I was reassured a couple of times by my mom that it would be okay and that they can do it hahahaha, however, my two older brothers and our eldest brother’s wife wanted to come as well. It was at this point that I started praying that everything would go well in our trip. The upside is, my parents will support the majority of the finances. This is really good news, since I knew this trip is going to be expensive.

All excited, we got ready and awaited our flight to Cambodia.

Here’s the fam as we await check-in

Our tuktuk from Bou Savy Guesthouse

It was drizzling when we arrived in Cambodia. The tuktuk that came to fetch us wasn’t enough for us. I thought that they will fetch us using a van which I was normally accustomed to when I travel and the hotels provide airport transfers. Luckily, our tuktuk driver knew someone nearby and we managed to rent the tuktuk.

When we arrived at the guesthouse, I told them that our family will go to Thailand in the morning and asked if they know the best way to go. I’ve read a lot of blogs about crossing borders and all of the scams travelers face so I wanted to have a legit advice from them. They offered to help with booking a transport van for us to go to the border and another contracted van will be there to wait for us to take us to Bangkok.

Our first breakfast in Cambodia

The trip to Aranyaprathet border lasted about 1.5hrs. It was a satisfactory ride as we left at 5 or 6 in the morning to get to Bangkok by lunch time, because It will be a  5 hour drive from the border.

It was raining again that morning so it was all muddy and there were a lot of tourists at the border looking to find their ways. Plenty of locals are there as well to scam you, so be prepared! They kept asking us where were going and offered a bunch of packages which we politely declined. Lucky of us, our van driver escorted us to the immigration building and he told us to be careful and just ignore the people haggling us.

Getting the visa to Bangkok was easy, however, I was surprised that we had to pay like 5000 Riel for it. The previous blogs I read says it was free! Hahaha

We just went with it and went to the Thailand immigration building. It was a very confusing process because it was our first time crossing borders and not all of them are fluent in English. Observation is key here guys! There are a lot of tourists who have traveled plenty of times with whom you can ask for help, don’t be shy to ask.

After all the paperworks and biometrics, we finally got our Thai visas. It was a long journey ahead, so we asked our driver if we could get takeaways first. My dad was strongly against eating street food, because he said that we might get sick during the trip, so we opted for Thai KFC!

Of course, I ordered a box meal! Hahaha it had burger, fries and two buffalo chicken (I think). It was really good albeit the lack of gravy.

They had egg tarts as well which were so freakin’ good as well!

We made two pit stops to freshen up ourselves and buy more snacks. I got a watermelon and one local fruit I can’t remember the name hahaha

Nearing Bangkok!

We arrived by 1pm in our hostel, Loftel 22. It has a cafe on the first floor and has dormitory type rooms which was great for backpackers. They have a very modern interior as well.

It was here that the first challenge in our tour happened!

So, I said before that I had plans to go solo and updated hotel booking in my trip as people were added to the party. However, for this particular hostel, I forgot to change the arrival date! Oh my God!!! I had to explain our situation to the receptionist and convince them to change our booking. We were fortunate that they had two rooms available.

I had planned for us to go to the floating markets for the afternoon and have a city tour at night. However, it started raining again as we were strolling! My parents didn’t want to travel far again because we haven’t had a rest from our ordeal from Cambodia. So after having an early dinner, they went back to the hostel to rest and my brothers and sister-in-law decided we’d go see Bangkok’s night life instead.

I wasn’t able to take pictures of the night market we went to. But to describe it, there were a lot of bars and ladyboys on the street.

We only had one day to spare in Bangkok. We weren’t able to see the floating market, but hey, we’ve seen their gorgeous ladyboys, visited a few temples and tasted some of their delicacies tho.

Back to Cambodia. XD

TIPS:

1. Always ask your hotel what the best option is. They can offer their services and you can haggle with them.

2. Be careful of scammers in the border. Don’t assume every local there is trying to help you.

3. Look out for other tourists who can help you.

4. Plan well, check your schedule always. Take note of the weather as well and travel time.

5. Enjoy! If your itinerary didn’t work out, just make the most of it. At least you can say you’ve been in that country! hahahaha

(Next post)

[rorydays-blog]

first of all hi i’m cleo! my discord is cleo#9278 so feel free to add me there if u want to talk or plot (especially if ur muse 18, 6, 11 and 22 cause theres already connections hehe)! this is rory shes my waste of a brain muse and i cant wait for yall to get to know her! 

- ̗̀ ❛ muse 17, kim yerim, she/her. ❜ ̖́- did you hear about the monaco trip? it’s legendary at ucla. rory bak is going, i’m so jealous. their instagram makes it seem like they’re pretty capricious and they’re all about never making promises & mismatched socks. can you believe they’re only twenty and they’re going on a free trip to monaco for the summer? hopefully they don’t let their apathetic side show too much on the trip. 

recently got in trouble with the law.

have been considering dropping out of school.

THE BASICS

so shes shes a scorpio and her birthday is november 6th

shes bisexual but very fluid with this like she wont talk about it REALLY other than like ‘i love girls girls rule dick is great too’ (her family just dont talk about things) and labels will make her very uncomfortable... she’ll do whatever with whoever and is comfortable enough to just accept the normality of it

shes usually brunette (like in the gif above) but she’ll dye her hair blonde or red or some other variation when shes bored 

she is extremely unreliable!!! literally the flakiest person to ever exist 

personality wise she’ll mirror whatever energy u give unless shes close with u then she’ll be her own person often shifting between moods at a drop of a hat. she believes that living in one mould is just unrealistic so shes always changing.

her aesthetics are never making promises and mismatched socks which just explains how much of a mess she is. she literally has no future plans and lives day to day

she was a business major with a minor in technology so shes extremely smart but thinks that literal intelligence is a waste of time and she works for immediate gratification.. aka getting rich through crime which is why shes considering dropping out

shes always brisking past the law with instagram scams and duis and badly planned drug deals but her father is a lawyer so shes been fine so far. however he got sick of her recently and left her in a holding cell to scare her.. it didnt work and now shes in monaco!

BACKGROUND

“working class” upbringing despite her mother being a doctor and her father a lawyer. they were both working class before getting good jobs so they decided rory would be humbled too... she has to work for everything they still pay her tuition tho! KGDKDMGS

home schooled until she 11 then went to high school when her parents started spending less time at home and more time at work, they stopped putting in the effort with her and each other.

grew up mostly alone (with room for childhood friend plots) with only books, documentaries and fantasies of a more exciting life to keep her company!!

from high school her interests turned to crime and immediate response like she wanted success fast without working for it through a boring degree.. 

her close call with the law is what made her so excited for the trip. mainly she just needed space away from home to consider her options

CONNECTIONS

okay so give me the usuals like...

childhood friends

friends formed in college.... idk how. similar majors or they just met during welcome week and stayed close

fwb

one night stands

any family connections

people to argue/disagree with!!! we can expand on this

smoking/drinking buddies

i wanna say study buddies but she 100% doesnt study so maybe we could do something abt a character trying to force her to study..

someone that doesn’t put up with her attitude and tells her to stfu

someone that lets her get away with anything

good/bad(worse) influence???

romantic connections

first crush or s/o

someone that broke her heart

someone whos heart she broke

cheating plot

every version of exes like... they hate each other, they still hook up, etc.

met at the wrong time(one was dating someone or both etc) but the feelings are there through tension etc

we can form connections based on our own plots!!! 

LIKE THIS POST TO PLOT!

[mao-s-mess]

Graduation ~Yoosung x MC fanfiction~

Yoosung Kim is only a month away to taking his finals exam in SKY University but MC starts acting suspicious during such a critical moment

Also on Fanfiction.net

Graduation Yoosung x MC fanfiction Disclaimer: All Mystic Messenger characters belong to Cheritz I didn't describe MC in detail so it could be any of the 5 MCs or your very custom ones! "MC! Come on!" a boy in his early 20s with bleached blonde hair and purple-coloured hair whined with a face of disappointment.

"No 'buts'. Your parents and sister also agree this is for the best. It is after all your finals." his girlfriend, MC; said sternly as she toss a bunch of the blonde's clothes into a luggage bag that was laid out on his bed.

Yoosung Kim crossed him arms and frowned at his girlfriend as she busily goes through his wardrobe.

In about a month's time, he will be seating for his final year examination in Veterinary medicine and what has been suggested and pretty much decided for him is that he and MC will be switching houses for the next month.

"Look, when you get pressured or stressed you tend to distract or 'de-stress' yourself with sleep or LOLOL or you start stress cooking. You're too comfortable in your own home so staying at mine where there's nothing much to do will be the best for you"

She was reaching for the last drawer when he frantically ran over and held it shut with his hands.

"I'll pack my underwear myself thank you!" he insisted as his ears and cheeks turned red.

MC raised her hands and backed away from his cabinet as he selected his underwear to pack.

"I know that's where you keep your por-"

"What?"

"I- i said don't forget to pack your SOCKS."

He nodded and threw in a few pairs of socks into the luggage looking very annoyed. His breathing was irregular; deep huffs but elongated exhales, a habit he has when he wants to say something but haven't found the words yet.

As much as MC found this habit of his adorable she had to stay serious. She knew oh so well he hated things planned out for him without his knowledge or approval but the exam stress has already gotten to him and it was only a matter of time before he has a breakdown and turns to his "can't be bothered" persona.

She walked up behind him and wrapped her arms across his torso; she felt his body tensing up as she did so. She didn't need to see his face to know he was blushing at her sudden action. She smiled as she buried her face into his back.

"MC?!" he flustered waiting for a response. When he recovered from the surprise hug, he placed his own hands over hers. He could feel her breath against his back as he looked down at her arms around him.

She wasn't that much older than him and just finished her university course shortly before she stumbled upon the RFA.

When MC came into the picture, it was probably the worst time for him; he was blinded from his grief of losing Rika, major hatred towards V, was lost with his directions in life as well as had difficulty handling his emotions but she accepted all that of him and even more; she helped him out of that phase in his life.

It has been about 2 years after the incident where he lost sight in his left eye at the hands of the hacker who called himself Unknown but the two have been inseparable since the party where he proclaimed his love and kissed her then and there.

It certainly wasn't an easy relationship being Yoosung's first and he had a rather fairytale concept and expectations of how a relationship should be. He realized the hard way that you either have to be seriously rich, like Jumin Han to pull a lot of things off or have magic and he had neither.

As for MC, it was a major test of patience and constant game of reassuring for Yoosung. She didn't have a relationship as serious as this before but both of them have managed to worked things out together even though they quarreled here and there.

"I just want what's best for you.." her voice muffled from burying her face into his back.

"Okay.." he responded in a defeated tone.

He turned around to give her a kiss on the forehead, when they first dated, he wasn't that much taller than her but he started participating in some sports and also joining Zen on some runs in the park outside Zen's place so he grew a bit, definitely more physical activity than when he was just playing LOLOL when he wasn't eating or at Uni.

"You're doing this because I'm important to you right?" he said with a small smile as he placed her palm against his cheek.

"You're number 1 to me!" she flashed the smile that he loves so very much.

"Meowww~"

Lisa, the cat they adopted together from Jumin 2 years ago nuzzled up against Yoosung's leg.

MC bend down to pick up Lisa to cradle her.

"Lisa's a close second tho, we're both rooting for you!"

Yoosung scratched Lisa behind her ear as she purred.

"Okay fine... I'll do it. I'll spend a month in your place for the finals... Thank you for thinking about me."

"Thank you! I've already asked Seven to help with your LOLOL. Either he plays your account or he'll assign a bot to it"

"A BOT?! I don't want to get banned! I'm currently number 1! I've only managed to beat Seven because he's always away on assignments now"

"Banned? Please. This is Luciel we're talking about. How bold of you to think he'll screw this up, this is a walk in the park for him."

"...Fine... i have lots of important gears there you know..."

"I know how much LOLOL is important to you. It was number 1 for you before I came along ;p " she said cheekily as she looked around for more things to pack.

"Okay okay.. can we have dinner and dates at times?"

"Yes of course! We'll play by ear as usual around your schedule"

"Okay.. how about next week, Wednesday then? I'm free the whole day"

MC froze up.

...?

"Uhm.. next Wednesday.. is no good... I have a meeting with Jaehee about uhm some part time event work thingy"

There it was. A habit Yoosung knows very well.

MC can't hide secrets or tell lies very well. On the Messenger and texts it's not so much of a problem. It's the face to face and phone calls that gives it away, she'll start to avoid eye contact and stutter.

"What are you hiding?"

"NO-NOTHING!" she waved her hands furiously as she went to grab more shirts from Yoosung's cupboard.

"I just have a meeting planned with Jaehee that is all! About some part time work thingy-YEA!"

Yoosung's brows scrunches up.

"And that's the reason you want me to bug her phone?" A boy not that much older than Yoosung with bright reddish orange hair and amber-coloured eyes asked with raised eyebrow.

Luciel Choi aka 707 was the RFA's secret agent/hacker/nonsense maker. He has a love for fast cars, cats, honey buddha chips and dr pepper. Yoosung came over (after a few attempts of trying to decipher Seven's security system) because MC hasn't revealed any plans on her day with Jaehee and that just made even more suspicious especially since her fabrication details keep changing.

First it was a meeting then it was a shopping trip and then it was a Zen fanclub related outing and then she said she was meeting family.

"She's not telling me anything. She usually does in the end"

"Maybe she's trying to keep something from you"

"We're not suppose to keep secrets! It's bugging me so yes that's why i want you to bug her phone so I can find out. What if she's not meeting Jaehee, what if- what if-"

Seven slapped a packed of Honey Buddha Chips across Yoosung's face (semi lightly) as he had chips in his own mouth, shaped like a duck.

"You realized this is MC. The woman who put up with your emotional ass even after you keep comparing her to Rika. If she didn't abandon you then, what makes you think she'll abandon you now"

Yoosung bit his lips. He knew Seven was right, words stung but he was definitely right. MC cheating on him would be the last thing she'd ever do. He felt bad doubting her for that option.

"I still want to know what she's hiding from me though"

"Ugh. You'll never leave until you get something anyway. So what's in it for me"

"That LOLOL limited edition gacha item you couldn't get because the event happened when you went incognito 2 months ago."

Seven's mouth opened and his duck chips fell out.

"WHAT... ARE YOU SERIOUS. PEOPLE ARE ACTUALLY AUCTIONING THAT OFF FOR REAL MONEY"

"You can have it. I also got the rare one too"

Seven did an impression of Edvard Munch's The Scream. He was that much in shock.

"If i take it i can sell it for real money too?"

"Do whatever you want with it"

"Even to buy new accessories for my babies?"

"Wait-can it be auctioned off that much?"

"NO TAKE BACKS. Do we have a deal? Your LOLOL rare item for an all access day pass to MC's phone"

"Do it."

"YAHOO~ LET'S DO IT THEN" he swiveled around on his chair to face his monitors and starting tapping away at the keyboard.

"Tapping into her GPS location... Done.. She's at a cafe not too far off from the C&R building.. Let me just pull up one of the security camera feed and... THERE. "

Yoosung leaned over towards the monitor and sure enough there was MC.

"OHMYGOSH WHO IS THAT A HOT GUY SHE'S WITH" Seven exclaimed.

Yoosung heart leaped and started panicking as he scanned the monitor in depth.

"Oh. LOL. My bad. That's just Jaehee. 8D "

It was Yoosung's turn to slap Seven with the Honey Buddha Chips packet across the face; sure enough MC was with another RFA member, Jaehee Kang; personal assistant to Jumin Han.

He breathed a sigh of relief.

The two girls seems to be chattering away happily when MC's face turned serious as she put her cup of coffee down.

"Can we listen in on them" Yoosung asked as he tries to read their lips but failing.

"Okay okay..." Seven said as he starting clicking away at the keyboard again.

Some feedback could be heard on the speaker when MC and Jaehee's voice came on.

---

Jaehee: So what was it you wanted to talk about? And why are we keeping a secret about this from Yoosung?

MC: Well... cos it's embarrassing really..

Jaehee: Embarrassing? With how you two are always at each other, showering cringe-worthy compliments and texts? How can anything be embarrassing?

MC: Heehee...

MC clapped both her hands together suddenly in a pleading manner.

MC: JAEHEE TEACH ME HOW TO MAKE A GOOD CUP OF COFFEE PLEASE

Jaehee: What. Why me. And Yoosung learned how to brew coffee from his coffee club, wouldn't that be better?

MC: But you have more in depth info on it.. You are passionate about the beans and the roast.

Jaehee: A month ago you asked Mr. Han for a private cooking session with his chef. Then you were looking around for some classes on baking.. Now coffee from me? What's going on.

MC fidgeted and looked down, her face turning red.

MC: Well... I'm trying to be a good girlfriend for Yoosung.

Jaehee: I don't understand, aren't you already a good one? He can't stop raving about you.

MC: To be honest, he doesn't show it but he's doing most in the relationship. He'll insist on cooking and he's always trying out new recipes, he also insists on being the one paying for dates even though he isn't working yet, he saves up a lot for our dates. I try to help but his ego won't allow me to take some of that burden away, he believes as the man in the relationship, he's got duties to fulfill.

At this point a warm smile came across her face.

MC: He's giving his all to become a vet when he didn't have any motivation or purpose before; medical isn't an easy line and he's working extra hard because of his left eye injury too and he'll be so busy soon getting that license and practical and all.. I don't know...

MC blushes as she took another sip of her drink before she continued

MC: I just... I want to do more than just offer words of support to him. I want to support him as much as I can even something as little as cooking for him or preparing a cup of coffee when he needs it. I'll be looking for work soon so that I don't seem like a bum that is leeching off him.. So at least I can help our wit the groceries or bills and transport fees and all.. And probably save up for trips for when he gets a break and stuff... I just... I just want to do more for him you know?

Jaehee gave a small giggle as she slid her fork through the slice of cake in front of her.

Jaehee: You're really something.. Always having such a positive attitude towards the face of change. Or danger.

Jaehee shuddered at the memory.

Jaehee: I hope that bomb is finally removed.

MC and Jaehee laughed at that remark as they continued on.

---

Back at Seven's headquarters (?), Yoosung stood stunned at the conversation he just eavesdropped on.

After a while, tears welled up in his eyes and he turned furiously red in the face.

"Whoa. You're as red as my hair" Seven said as he grabbed his phone to snap a photo of Yoosung's crying face.

"You-you meanie. Whydyouhabtotakeapicturofme"

"Can't understand you. SELFIE" He grabbed Yoosung by the shoulder and snapped another photo before he ruffled up Yoosung's bleached hair.

"You realize how frickin' blessed you are now? Now go and study hard for that examination of yours. If not for Rika, If not for yourself then make it for your future with her."

Yoosung rubbed his eyes with the sleeves of his beloved hoodie. Another renewed resolution for himself.

Half a year later the RFA gathered at Yoosung's graduation ceremony at SKY university

"To think that kid didn't bothered with uni in the beginning, I didn't even know he was taking a course like veterinary" Zen said as he occasionally stopped to smile and wave at some female fans. His career as a musical artist soared beyond the stage and onto television in the past few years. That also meant more fans.

"Well he did it for Rika at first because of Sally..." V stated as he was adjusting the settings on his camera to ensure he doesn't miss any shots of Yoosung. Much to persistence of his fellow RFA members, he managed to receive an operation on his right eye to stop him from going blind. He slowly started to take photographs again.

"He always did perform better if it's for someone else but it is rather surprising that he graduated at the top of his class and is chosen as the valedictorian." Jaehee said as she scanned through the graduation event schedule.

"He worked really really hard! His parents and sister are in the front, i saw them just now. They're so so proud!" MC said proudly.

"Indeed he did, his results were so superb it caught wind from one of our medical panel and they've offered him a position in one of our hospitals to undergo private practice so his future is secured as of now" Jumin Han spoke in his usual tone of voice. "I did not even need to put in any word of recommendation."

"I managed to retrieve my number 1 spot in LOLOL again because of this, he stopped religiously for the past few months" Seven said as he took a sip from a can of Dr. Pepper.

"It was nice of him to invite all of us. I know 2 tickets were allocated but you can purchase additional tickets for everyone else." Zen said as he posed for some girls who were trying to sneak a photo of him.

"Oh i paid for it. C&R is a major sponsor for the graduation, which is why we have such good and somewhat private seating" Jumin stated as he adjusted his cuff links.

"Tch. You just had to ruin it" Zen glared at the trust fund kid. Their relationship, as usual; have seen better days.

"I think it's great we're all here though" MC said happily.

"Yea, Jaehee and I weren't there for his high school one and we got to make sure we get proper smiling one for today!" Seven said with determination.

"Oh, it's starting" V said as he readied his camera, he brought his best zoom lens for this as the crowd quieted down.

Professors and head of programmes gave their welcome speeches before the calling of graduates, there were a lot of names being called out. The RFA cheered and clapped loudly when Yoosung's name was read out.

Yoosung walked proudly onto stage as he tipped his graduation cap to the head of programme upon receiving his degree and posing for a picture. A proud moment for him and those who were there for him. They all waited for the rest of the graduates to receive their degrees before Yoosung was called to stage to deliver the valedictorian speech.

"An-nyŏng-ha-se-yo! My name is Yoosung Kim and I am honoured to be delivering the Valedictorian speech this year."

A round of applause roared across the hall as the his Amethyst eyes scanned the crowd for the RFA and his beloved.

"It's really an honour because I wasn't always a model student. Well I was in high school but something happened that made me not take the first 2 years of university seriously."

"You see, I failed my exams and sometimes I'd fall asleep in class. I'd forget days where there are quizzes and had almost no motivation to come to class, I would often skip classes to play LOLOL."

"However, there were people who did not give up on me and I am thankful that I was given another chance to pick myself up. I knew I had to put in the extra effort as I wasted the first two years despite having an accident that caused me to lose sight, literally; in my left eye. It wasn't easy that is for sure but because of this 2nd chance, I did the best I could in all classes and I guess it showed with my results and also the fact that I was chosen as the Valedictorian. "

"What I'm trying to say is, sometimes in life we'll get lost and we don't perform our best, we fall and fail and when that happens, it feels like you're surrounded by darkness but I know of a saying, "Fall seven times, get up eight". There is a light in all of us, sometimes you'll find it yourself but most times you are assisted by outsiders to help you realise your potential. I have friends and family inside and outside the uni that had my back, professors who saw my efforts in getting better helping me out and most of all, I have a wonderful and supportive girlfriend that stood by my side and I'm really thankful for that. It was because of her that I felt that i could do anything and everything I set my heart into."

"This kind of feels déjà vu-ish" Zen said as he listened intently to Yoosung's speech.

"SKY University never gave up on their students and i am proof of that. So fellow students and friends, we tip our hats to our Professors, to our family and friends that have supported us but most of all, give yourself a pat on the back because we made it!"

He ended his speech with a word of congratulations to the students and wishing them the best in their future before walking off the stage with a round of applause tailing him. As soon as he got off the stage he nodded to his family before running off to meet the members of the RFA.

He was congratulated by every member but his eyes were fixated on MC.

"Congratulations on graduating!" MC said as she threw her arms around him when she had the chance to.

Yoosung blushed and gave a cheeky grin.

"Who'd have thought I'd be chosen to deliver that speech!"

"Not us" said almost all of the RFA in unison in less than a split second.

"YOU GUYS ARE MEAN!" Yoosung said with a puffed up cheek before breaking into laughter with the rest of the RFA.

"I'd like to personally thank every one of you for being here and for never giving up on me when I wasn't bothered with uni."

Then he turned to MC

"Most of all, thank YOU for coming into my life and blessing me with all of you. I graduated from uni but I feel like I have also graduated from my old self with the end of this chapter in my life. It's time to move on with the next chapter and I feel like I can take anything on as long as you are by my side. "

"So..."

He held her hand when he suddenly kneel down on one knee to everyone's surprise and took out a small box from underneath his robe and opened it to reveal a ring.

"MC, will you please marry me and make me an even happier person than I thought I could ever be?"

THE END

[skyartemis]

clearly this issue was bothering more than I assumed it was, im bothered days later after meeting my friend for lunch. I've been analysing my feelings on why its bothering me so much, is it jealously or was it a sense that my friend has changed completely in two months.

usually I had this rule when meeting friends, I'd always congratulate my friend whenever they had good news to share. because they chose to share the good news to me, I'll share the joy with them.

when I met my friend on Sunday for brunch, it started out different that it did before. I couldn't blame her for being distracted with the cute asian waiter at restaurant, that I joked to her, 'why not ask for his number if you're staring at him so hard'. she shook her head & said he's too thin for me, I just shrugged.

then we moved on to the topic of my trip back home, where I spent a good two weeks eating good food & meeting up with old friends. she wasn't pleased to hear that I hadn't visited the bakeries that she had seen on instagram, I just told her that I found them overhyped & had other places that I wanted to try. She proudly showed off her list of places to eat, insisting on more bakeries. I did what I hadn't done to a friend before, I told her off saying that I lived in my home country for a decade so I probably know which places are hyped and not.

the next topic went on for hours without end. it was about this new boy that she met and flirted and confessed. he had turned her down but insisted to meet up with her and paid for her lunch. her whole family had bought into the illusion that he was just confused but did like her as he treated her more like a romantic interest rather than friend zoning her after her confession. (tbh I think he's a bit lost right now) her family even already planned their wedding & her mom says that I can't wait for halves as babies (help) she also rambled a good 3-4 hours about this boy non stop, I tried to pull the story away from him but I opened a can of worms. he was her god saviour and she worshipped him.

other oddities of her best friend's boyfriend snapping at her for being a rich privileged kid who only went for white boys (which was unfortunately true because the last 3 boys she relentlessly pursued were white), her bouldering friend who introduced her to the current boy said that my friend was just looking to fix another broken sad boy(a tad bit harsh but unfortunately half true) and me who told her he's too good on paper and chose to be neutral about the whole situation.

tbh I did ask her why she didn't give asian boys the same time of day as she did to white boys, she bluntly said that asian boys had fragile egos hmm, I do think that applies to the majority of the male population but she thinks that all red headed white males are heaven *shrugs* and that 'asian boys won't ever understand her'

I tried my best to stir the conversation away from the boy and all topics led back to him. Even the topic of children?! I said that I would love to have children, even tho they are monsters but I love them. She said she didn't want to have kids, which I replied that's totally fine but she added that she wouldn't mind having kids with him?!!?!?!?!?????!?!? see there's that boy again.......let me remind you once again they aren't dating whatsoever and even if they are in a territory of will they won't they, I was stunned completely when she blurted that out loud. she elaborated that how she saw the one time how he treated other pets was how he was with children, she compared pets with children. again not a wrong comparison but this was only one time. one freaking time.

Again again I unsuccessfully diverted the conversation to quicksand sigh, this time it was the upcoming holidays. She said she wants to meet his parents, I blinked and tilted my head. Its just a BBQ where he brings all his friends to his parents place. I nodded.

By now I was already counting the minutes and wasted time I had spent with her. I would have rather spent time with an alligator than spend time listening to her rambles.

this was the part that made me pause, had I completely warded off men? was I not normal for wanting to be in a relationship right now? she kept mentioning how at 22 she hadn't had her first kiss or whatever not. Here I am at mid 20s and all I can think about is work and how I have bills to pay.

I felt pathetic but also tired. Had I grown so accustomed to my lifestyle where I was in it solo? Or was it normal to be so focused on work that everything else takes a backseat?

[engagedtobefree]

Understanding Scott

Wednesday - I have to talk to Steve in the morning about an order. I go in to ask him a question and I swear Scott has his glasses on again, but when I turn around to smile at him after I’m done talking to Steve, he took them off. He gives me a little smile and lifts his eyebrows up a few times like he always does with me. It’s one of his signature flirting moves. I’m happy he turned to look at me, but a bit saddened that he took his glasses off. He must be pretty insecure about having them on, but I think he looks wonderful in his glasses. The next time I see him in the day, he has his contacts back in.

During my lunch I go to his doorway to talk to him as usual. "No glasses today?" "Nah, the doctor said I only had to wear them for one day." He tells me I looked good in my glasses and I say he looks better in glasses than I do. He's still trying to redeem himself I guess. I start telling him about my week so far, how my package was not delivered and how it couldn’t be set up for re-delivery, so I went to the post office on my lunch and they told me it was at a different post office, then that post office told me the one I was just at has it. I told him how one time I had a package that wasn’t delivered, so I signed where they had written an X, and then they left another slip right next to that one and still did not deliver my shit. We both laugh and agree on hating post offices. I then tell him how I got a bird feeder to stick on glass so that Weasley can watch the birds (today was his 3rd birthday!), but how I didn’t consider the fact that my sliding glass door slide, so now I can only open the door halfway. Then I tell him how my mom won’t let me borrow her drill I need for my TV mount because she’ll forget I have it, and I’m like, Idk if she thinks I’m going to just run off with her drill??? Scott finds all of this pretty funny, as do I. This is a typical week in my life tho lol. I start saying how hot it is out, and Scott suggests I take my cardigan off when I go outside, but I’m like, “I’m only outside from the door to my car, so that’s kind of pointless.” When he mentioned me taking my cardigan off, he’s looking at my upper body. This is also like the 3rd time, all on different occasions, that he’s mentioned me taking it off. I start talking about the bird feeder again and Scott suggests I put it on my window, which I tell him I can’t do because I’m on the second floor, so it’s like 20 feet off the ground. He pauses and then says, “Yeah, but birds can fly up more than 20 feet.” I say, “Yeah, but I can’t!” at the same time he says, “Oh, wait”. We both start cracking up. He is just...so adorable. Then he suggests I move my screen and put the feeder on the other side of the door, but I mention how then I can’t open my door if I want to leave it open because there will be no screen there. I tell him, “You’re full of great suggestions” and he turns a little red and laughs. I’ve been drinking coconut water and aloe water, one or the other daily. I’ve never had the cocoa flavored coconut water and Scott mentions how he’s going to ShopRite on his lunch and he’ll pick me some up if they have any. (He doesn’t, and he tells me the next day that they didn’t have any coconut water except for the plain flavor, which I think everyone can agree is gross. The ShopRite by our work is really small). 

Later in the day, Joyce tells me that we are definitely moving upstairs. There’s absolutely no way it isn’t happening. When Scott gets his tea not long after this conversation, I tell him about it. His initial reaction is that he’s surprised by it and pretty bummed. I tell him I’ll still come and talk to him on my lunches and he smiles and says, “Yeah, you definitely should.” A little bit later in our conversation he says he’ll come up to see me and I tell him that I’d like that. I’m standing right next to him since I was blocking other people from the printer when I was standing next to it. It’s hard for me to stand this close to him because I want nothing more than to be affection with this man. He then gestures to his office and my cubicle while saying, “But I’m right here, and you’re right there.” I respond with, “I know, I like being right next to you.” We are both obviously not happy with this move, and we are both showing it to each other. It doesn’t fully hit me this day, but now I know what the move really, fully entails. No more greeting Scott at the printer in the mornings. No more of us walking in and out of our work spaces somehow at the exact same time. No more of me walking by his office and smiling at him as I go in and out of the warehouse. No more of me passing by his office if I was down the hall heating my tea or doing whatever. No more of me popping out of my cubicle when he’s making tea. No more of us just randomly crossing paths throughout the day. No more of me just having to walk 10 feet over to go into his office. No more of us walking out and leaving together. It fucking sucks how there’s only a few weeks tops that’s left for these moments. I want to make as many more as possible while there is still time left to. I know what all of this has meant to me. In my mind, it’s always “There’s Scott” and it’s a little surge of happiness in my work day. And now I’m really beginning to think that it all means something to him too: to see me standing there waiting for him in the mornings, always happy just to see him for a few seconds; him standing at the coffee machine, watching and anticipating the moment when I’m gonna come walking out of my cubicle; me walking by his office, just so that I can see him and smile at him. For him, those spaces are still going to be there, but I won’t be. For me at least, it’s a whole new space where time with Scott has not been spent, but for him, it’s going to be an emptiness. This makes me so sad, like no one could even know. I kinda want to cry about it honestly. If I miss Scott, which now at some point during the day I always do, there will be nothing I can do about it. I will just have to deal with it. (I even miss him on the weekends now too). Even if I can’t talk to him, just seeing him is enough to make me feel better. It’s not the same as talking to him, but it’s something at least. Now, a majority of my only interactions with him will be planned talking sessions, and how long could those even be? During my lunch, I get 10-20 minutes with him. That’s all I’ll be getting in the future now, out of the entire work day? Yeah, he can come up to talk to me, but for how long? And what about the end of the work day, would I still be able to make it so I can go downstairs and talk to him? Scott asks me how long the other people are going to be here, and I tell him 3 years. His facial reaction tells me he was not expecting this answer. He was probably thinking more along the lines of a short project, and that I’ll be bale to move back down once it’s over. There’s no point in either of us even hoping that I’ll get my space back. I tell him I don’t like any of these people already because they’re taking my spot. I hope whoever takes my cubicle is truly unlikable because I want to give them the squinty eye whenever I see them and not feel bad about it.

Later in the day I go to change the water jug for the coffee machine. Scott is on the phone and Chris is hanging in there with him and Steve, so I don’t look in. I go into the warehouse to get a full jug, which all the jugs are right at Scott’s window. When I go out to put the empty jug out there, I look at Scott, but he’s still on the phone. However, when I go back through the door, I look at him and smile and he’s off the phone. He’s smiling at me then says something. I back up. “What?” “Do you need to change the jug?” “No, I just changed it.” I forget exactly what he says here, but he asks me about if there were jugs out there, but I forget exactly what word he used to describe them. Could’ve been “usable”, or something alone those lines. “You mean ones that are full?” “Yeah”. Chris had walked out of their office and was heading back over to come back in. He comes up next to me in the doorway and mumbles “What is he even talking about?” I laugh. Scott smiles and says, “What did he say?” and then continues with, “Nah, there hasn’t been any full ones out there for awhile.” I honestly do not know what he is talking about because there’s always full ones out there lol. I end up changing the jug at least once a month, and anytime I see anyone else do it they get a full jug no problem. 

Thursday - Scott had a doctor appointment for his stomach, so he comes in a little late. I use the last of the paper stacks in the cabinet, so I go out into the warehouse to get a box. I always make 2 trips and first take out half the paper in the box, then go for what’s left. The box says it’s only 20 pounds, but I beg to differ. So anyway, when I’m about to head back through the door, I see Steve isn’t at his desk. For some reason, I always stick my tongue out and up while smiling when I’m carrying the paper. I look at Scott and he smiles at me. 

During my lunch (after I get back from finally getting my package) I go in to talk to him and ask how his stomach is doing. He tells me about it and how it’s actually starting to feel better (yay!) and then starts saying how his doctor is one of those nerds, and he tries explaining what he means, but I still have no idea haha. So I just ask, “Does he have the glasses?” (referring to our conversation from the other day) and he laughs and says yeah. Playfully teasing Scott has become one of my favorite things. We also start talking about the work day at one point and how it actually adds up to 9 hours, and then I say “well, for most of us” and look at him and he laughs. Scott is really supposed to come in at 8, but I don’t think he has ever come in before 8:15. He says it works out though because Steve always leaves at 4:30, so one of them gets to come in late and the other gets to leave early. Hey, works for me too because it means Scott is alone at the end of the day. I somehow get on the story how a few years back I wanted a bagel for breakfast but the cream cheese was moldy. I opened the other end, which was fine and pristine and ate cream cheese from that end. Scott is like “Oh no” and starts laughing before I even get to the part how 10 minutes later I was puking it all back up. He is laughing pretty hard and says, “That’s disgusting”. I reassure him that that has been the only time ever that I’ve ever attempted to eat anything with mold even remotely close to it. Like I said before, just a day in the life :) One thing I’ve noticed this week is how Scott occasionally mentions his daughter to me now, and how he shares other conversations he has with other people. It makes me feel included and that he wants to tell me things. He doesn’t ever mention his wife, which is A-okay with me because that is a mood killer for sure. I don’t mind hearing about his daughter though.

At one point during the day when I come out of the bathroom, Angelo is at Joyce’s cubicle and I hear him say, “You really might be leaving though?”. Okay, say what??? When he walks away, I give it a few minutes and then ask her about it. She wants to apply to another position within the company. It would be less stressful than her position now, though she would keep about half of the same responsibilities. She doesn’t think she’ll get it though and that they’ll tell her she needs to stay where she is. She would still have to interview and everything just like all other applicants, both internal and external. When Scott makes his tea at the end of the day, I ask him how his day is and he gives me one of his typical answers but the way he says it makes me laugh. I look at him and he’s just smiling. Then he asks me how my day is going and I tell him I got more bad news. He asks me what it is and I tell him “I’ll tell you in there” while motioning to his office with my head. He tells me to give him a minute while he goes and gets his creamer. When he comes back I go in to tell him. He reassures me that it’ll be okay, and that it’s probably good anyway because it means even more job security for me, which is what Joyce said too. He also said it means they might hire me faster, but that should be coming soon anyway (ugh, I hope). Scott has a calming affect on me that literally no one else has, so I do feel better about things. He says no one moves fast on things there anyway, which I know already since I’ve been waiting since November to be hired permanently. Scott used to work at our other building right down the road. He’s been here 6 years and spent 3 over there and 3 over here. He was supposed to go over that February but it didn’t happen till June, and the only reason it happened was because Chris called over and said he really needed him. Joyce was there 15 months as a temp before she got taken on permanently, and I know everyone else who was a temp waited a long time too. May 22nd will be one year for me since I started. Scott mentions how he might take a half day tomorrow to get a lot of things done he needs to do, that he can’t really do when his daughter is around because she is right there or tries to run off or something lol. During this end of day discussion, when I see Scott smiling, his face stretched and his eyes squinting, I can feel my heat skip a beat. Then not long after this, I think about how soft his cheek might be. Then, when there’s a lapse where we both stop talking, I end up staring at his lips without realizing it. I can feel my lips are softly parted, and I can feel the utter longing that is tingling them. It’s a good solid 10 seconds minimum that I am just staring at Scott’s lips. He doesn’t move. He says nothing. When I finally come to my senses and realize what I’m doing, I look up at him. He’s just staring at me. This is why I usually stand in Scott’s doorway. I get too close to him and then I have such a strong longing for him. It is getting harder to resist the more we talk and open up to each other. God help me if I ever bump into him or something, because he’s going to be so damn close to me that I’m probably just gonna go for it without having time to think about what I’m actually doing.

Friday - It’s important to understand Scott’s timeline as to when he comes in in the mornings. In general, he comes strolling in between 8:20 and 8:30. Very rarely, Scott will come in outside of this time frame, so between 8:15 and 8:20, or between 8:30 and 8:40. I start printing usually around 8:18, this way I can insure I have plenty of stuff at the printer for me to work on. Depending on how much is in my inbox for me to print, on a good day I can give myself about 8 minutes of stuff to work on at the printer. That is with me taking my time as well. Since Scott came in extra late 2 days this week because of doctor appointments, and the other 2 days he came in after 8:30, I did not get to greet him at all. He came in a little earlier than usual Friday, around 8:15, but I happened to be grabbing a coffee stirrer and was walking back to my cubicle with it. I see Scott come in, and when he sees me, he breaks into a grin. I grin back and wave, and he waves too. I would have probably just stood there smiling like an idiot, waiting for him to walk up if Joyce had not been talking to me at this exact moment. Of course, I didn’t hear what she said because my focus was on Scott, and the printer was going and it’s really loud. I go over to her cubicle to ask her what she had said.

Joyce has been pretty busy the past two days, so I’ve been taking documents to the warehouse for her, which I enjoy doing because I get to get up and walk around and it’s also an opportunity to smile at the man of my dreams. I am about to come back in from the warehouse and I can see through Scott’s window his left elbow on his desk, so his body must be facing the door. He’s waiting for me. I peek through the small window in the door and see Steve is looking down at his phone. I happily open the door and turn to face Scott, who smiles at me and nods his head up, another one of his signature flirting moves. I just love our little moments like this. I’m going to miss them so much and I am soaking up every little last one of them.

During my lunch, when I go about my normal routine of putting my lunch bag upstairs, using the individual bathroom, and then walking by Scott’s office, he is not in there. As I’m walking down the hall toward his office, I’m thinking, “Where did he go?”. I saw him walking out when I went into the bathroom, and I heard him at the sink, so I know he saw me and knew I was getting ready to come see him. As I turn left to go toward my desk, he’s at the coffee machine. Relief. But now 3 days of news I do not want to hear. He’s leaving early. “Wait, you’re leaving early?” “Yeah, I told you yesterday I was.” “No, you just said you might.” Scott has said to me several times on different occasions that he might take a day off or leave early to get some things done, but he’s never followed through, so I guess I didn’t think he actually would on this occasion. I ask him when he’s leaving and he looks at his watch and says in a few minutes, at 12:30. “You’re not going to wait for Steve to come back from lunch?” “Nah.” He goes and gets him creamer then I go into his office so we can talk a bit. The first thing he says is how he wants some dessert, and the words “Well, there’s me” almost come hurtling out of my mouth. I’m torn between being happy that I controlled myself at the last second, and wishing I had just let it come out to see if he would’ve acted on something. It is getting very, very difficult for me to keep exhibiting self-control around Scott. I could feel months ago it was a little hard, but now it is getting to the point where any day now I’m going to end up saying something without thinking or just acting on an impulse and I don’t know how to even feel about that. I could physically feel myself tensing up trying not to say these 3 little words to Scott, it’s gotten that bad. And it feels so unnatural to me trying to keep fight it, because my natural instinct is to want to be affectionate with him. So then I’m in this situation, and I’m focusing on acting in a proper manner, and then I stop talking. Not only that, but I’m exhausted (I go to bed at 7 this night), so I’m not chatty like usual. The other day, when I was giving Scott snippets of how I felt about moving upstairs, it felt so freeing. Just so, so good to be putting it out there. That is what I truly want, but there is still this side to me going, “No, we cannot be that way with Scott. He is married.” It’s all very annoying having these 2 sides battle it out.

He tells me a story of the previous night how he was going to get his meds and this lady behind him had her speaker phone on and her and this other person were talking about some guy they knew and some crazy story how he was being pursued by the cops and threw drugs into a bush and whatnot. What I get out of this is that Scott is slowly letting me into his life. I guess I’m doing the same with him too. I ask him if I’m keeping him from leaving, but he says no and says he’s waiting for Steve, which is weird because 10 minutes prior to this he said he wasn’t. He is rummaging in his drawer and said how a guy from the other building might come over to get a spare shirt he has. It’s a company shirt. Scott wears them a lot now that the warmer weather is here. Before he wore fleece pullovers pretty much every day. He takes out a company sweatshirt still in it’s plastic bag and asks me if I want it. Idk why I actually stop and have to think about it, because Scott is freaking offering it to me, so it should be an automatic yes. I guess it’s because I’m not even sure I really like it, because I’d prefer a hoodie, but in the end I say yes because it’s something from Scott. I thank him. I’d much have preferred if he had worn it and it smelled like him, but whatever. I wore it to bed that night and it is soft, and it’s also huge on me, but it really made me so happy wearing it. I ended up taking it off during the night though cuz I got too hot. Steve comes back and so I know my lunch is over. I hang around about another minute and then tell Scott to have a nice weekend. As he says, “Aiight. Thanks, Dane, you too” I am staring at his mouth again. I don’t mean to. I get up out of the chair and walk out, and as I’m passing by Steve’s window, at the last second I turn around and see Scott hasn’t moved and he’s watching me. I get the impression that he’s in thought about something and is asking himself a question. Of course, I have no idea what exactly, but that is the feeling that I get. I hear him walk by my cubicle carrying stuff out to his car at his normal pace and come back in. When he goes out again, he’s walking much faster than usual. I find this odd, but that could just be me. 

Friday made a month since I confronted Scott and he said he needed to think about things. I’ve battled with this over and over in my mind about what my own answer is, and as much as I want it to be no, the truth is, it’s a yes. I feel terrible about it, I question what type of person this makes me, I wonder about what the future would hold if I were to actually act on my decision. I have kept telling myself over and over that I am never bringing it up again to Scott, but only because I know my answer is yes and that if his is a yes too, something would happen. So even though my answer is yes, I am still trying to do the right thing and not get an answer out of him, as much as I want one, as much as I want him to say yes back to me. I know that Scott is not likely to bring it up, so I just keep holding on to that notion. I have beat myself up over this, but I never wanted things to be like this. I can’t just be like, “Well, Scott is married, this means I am no longer going to have feelings for him.” It doesn’t work that way. I am falling for this man, but it just so happens that he is another woman’s husband. This plagues me. Acting on anything would mean breaking this woman’s heart, but it would also mean eventually breaking my own. Scott can’t truly be with me, in an actual relationship. Not as long as he’s married. But that’s what I want, a relationship. But on the other hand, not ever having him at all is also bound to be very painful. This whole situation is just one giant, double-edged sword.

I’ve asked myself, trying to convince myself my feelings are fleeting,

okay, what exactly is it I like about Scott?” But I can answer this. It’s his endearing little air-headedness, his playfulness, his calmness, the things he does, how he makes me laugh. He’s actually pretty intelligent too. He’s smarter than me in some ways, though I know I’m smarter than him in others. And that’s perfectly okay. It’s so many little things I notice about him. I know there is so much more to him that I don’t know, but the same goes for him not knowing more about me. I want to know more. I want to get to know him, every little detail there is to know about him. I have never genuinely felt this way about any man ever, even the only man who I ever fell in love with. Slowly we have been letting little bits and pieces out about ourselves and our lives. I just, I don’t know. I have genuine feelings for him and the more we talk and interact, the deeper these feelings go. But I can’t stop talking and interacting with him, because I enjoy having him in my life. If, back in the beginning of February when I first found he was married, I had moved to the 2nd floor, we probably would not have gotten this far. This would have ended. But it didn’t play out like that. For some reason, it wasn’t meant to. I don’t know how things are going to end up, but I know that things always end up how they’re supposed to. I wasn’t meant to move upstairs until I got closer to Scott, and now we’re at this point where we are both willing to keep this going despite the upcoming barrier. And we both know that the other person is on the same page. 

I don’t think Scott only wants one thing from me. I don’t know anything about his marriage or his home life or his feelings for his wife, but I genuinely believe that Scott has started developing feelings for me as I have for him. I used to want to blame him, because he had kept his marriage a secret, and I would tell myself, “I wouldn’t even be in this situation if he had been honest from the beginning.” But things aren’t always what they seem to be. I don’t know Scott’s full situation, but I know it up to a certain point now with certainty: he saw me around the office and was attracted to me; we somehow started seeing each other more often and for whatever reason, he thought about actually talking to me beyond our casual hello’s; before he could do so, I started flirting with him, something he probably did not expect to happen, and so he immediately started reciprocating, not wanting to let the opportunity go. Now we’re both here. We both led each other to where we are now. I don’t blame either of us, just as I couldn’t bring myself to solely blame Scott, even though I tried to. I used to be absolutely baffled by how people ended up in affairs, but now I understand. I know that some people honestly do not care if the other person is married, so I still do not understand those types of situations, but I understand how sometimes it just happens. You don’t plan to make things difficult for yourself, and you don’t plan to fall for someone who is unavailable. If Scott did in the beginning see me as just a potential hook-up, I think it’s gone beyond that now. I can see it in the way he laughs, the way he looks at me, the way he is starting to show he cares. I am not just being lusted after. And I think this is all why Scott has not given me an answer yet. It’s gone beyond the matter of “Do I want to cheat on my wife?”. Getting involved with me would be so much more than that, and I think that’s where Scott’s true dilemma comes in. How far would this actually go, and would it unravel so many things in his life? Am I, this woman that he barely knows, worth risking everything for?

[kxlebcross]

multiples of three, please.

oh man i cant believe ur making me do maths at 4:18 am... but here goes nothing! (it’s gonna be long so i put it under a read more)

3. Ever done any drugs? uhhhh... yeah, for a short period yrs ago i had a friend group and with them we smoked weed pretty much every weekend... they did some hard drugs too but i never dared trying those cuz im a lil bitch lmao aaaaand i don’t do that anymore, it’s an expensive hobby to have and i usually waste my drugs money on pc games and ordering food srgsdfg

6. Describe your dream home. probs somewhere in a big city, close to the center because i love being a big city kid.... a mid-sized flat with lots of plants and those neat cat playgrounds mounted on the wall because i plan on having at least 4 cats in the future asdsd and i’d love to have a bigger balcony which i could transform into a little jungle and hand a hammock there and just chill and listen to the city’s noises at night when i can’t sleep

9. Do you watch porn? you may not believe but i actually don’t sdgsdfg the horny teen phase is over for me, if i wanna interact with anything pornographic i just read fanfiction dfgsdfgsf

12. What’s one of your fantasies? i hope it’s not supposed to be an erotic one lmao but i really wanna go on a road trip through europe, just pack up my shit and drive around, also i wanna visit haunted places all around england and get into the gaming business as a game translator/tester eventually

15. Are you in a relationship? thank god not anymore... and honestly i don’t miss it anymore, all of my previous ones were disasters and ended in a really ugly manner so.. no, i’m all good with my cat

18. What tattoos do you want? i don’t have specific plans for motives - though i’d really like a kitsune mask somewhere and a moon and one song quote. i’d like to have my whole left sleeve done, maybe part of my back, a half sleeve on my right hand and something smaller on my ankle - and i’m actually open to anything the tattooists would pick out; i care more about who’s gonna create my tattoo than what’s it gonna be, as my actually existing 2 tattoos r also premade, randomly picked out ones (though they accidentally matched up in some way and look pretty neat imo)

21. Describe your best friend. that’s a hard one.... i don’t think i have one anymore. i used to have this girl in my life, M, who i was really close to, but we had a fallout in october and she never came around to fix this even though i was open to the idea... so i lost my best friend, which is kinda sad considering that she was the only person i could open up to in the last 3 yrs. but hey that happens! i moved on and have a close friend still so im all good.

24. What are three places you want to travel? i really wanna visit scotland! it has this specific atmosphere i really long to experience, and i wanna see the landmarks and grassy fields and loch ness and haunted places and just roam around there for a while. i also wanna see moscow - it’s been sort of an obsession of mine since reading glukhovsky’s metro series, and also it’s a beautiful city worth visiting. i’d also like to get on the trans-siberian express but that’s not a specific place dsfsgdf the last place would be the aokigahara forest in japan - also one of the places i feel drawn to for ages now. found out about it years ago and since it’s been sort of a plan of mine to visit one time. if i manage to graduate university my mum promised to send me on a trip to japan - so if it works out, ill be on my way there baby! (i just need to work on my language skills first sasdfgf)

27. What’s your pet peeve? loud breathing, loud chewing... generally people being loud and annoying. ppl not covering their mouths while coughing. ppl who walk super slowly and take up all of the walkway like FUCK OFF OF MY WAY GODDAMMIT. in games when the npc walks a lot slower than ur running, but walking a lot faster than ur walking so its impossible to keep up with them. ppl not using headphones in public spaces. old ppl demanding respect when they treat u like shit. ppl forcing their religion on u (im looking at u auntie). ppl slurping their drinks. couples almost f*cking each other in public places... just get a room smh

30. Tag someone you want to talk to but have been too shy to message. oh i don’t need to tag them cuz i already got over that shyness and they totes know already that i wanted to talk to them for a while! (i admitted to it in the tackiest, cheesiest, most awkward anon ask i ever sent in to anyone sdfgsdf)

33. If money was no object, what would your wardrobe be like? pretty much the same as now, all black and flannels and jeans, cuz i rly thing that major clothes shopping sprees r a waste of money sdfdf but i’d probably own a lot lot more shoes like custom made cat patterned vans and some more nikes and some creepers cuz i wanted to get some of those for like yrs now dfgdfg

36. Do you still have feelings for any of your exes? uhhhh... kind of? not romantic ones tho, i just miss the long talks and the trust and understanding between us. i never got the closure i needed to move on and it still left some bad feelings towards her so its a weird mix of resentment and sympathy, and i try to not think abt it too much.

39. Are you a virgin? hahahahahahahahah, no, really. 

42. Describe the hottest person you know. the hottest person i personally know is one of the ppl i used to be on my universitys e-sport team on with dfasd i always had a weak spot for ppl taller than me and hes literally model material with nice cheekbones and the perfect jawline and the best sense of humor ever. though he’s a widowmaker main in overwatch and thats a big big minus for him :(

45. What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on? lmaooooo thats a funny one listen up... so i was fresh out of breakup and wanted to make some friends.... wait for it.... ON TINDER. i live in an university town so i was like kewl imma make some ppl my age (until then all of my friends were A LOT older than me) and have some friends and if romance happens then it happens, w/e. so i set up this bar night with this one guy, i believe his name was David? so David and i meet up for drinks, i grab a gintonic and we sit down to talk... what he never knew abt me is that i am on the adhd spectrum and i have to get my hands busy with smth so i can focus on what im saying otherwise my thoughs r all over the place. so im casually keeping my hands busy with just spinning my locked phone there and back, or just  messing around with the lime slice on my glass and at a random moment David goes like “u know.... i hate when ppl cant stop messing around with their phone” and im like ????? dude im literally just spinning it, not even messaging anyone or unlocking it or shit. and he goes on this rant that he always expects ppl to pay full attention to him when talking, looking at him (i never look ppl in the eyes cuz i tend to just go into panic mode from long eye contact and also i think its creepy to just stare at someone constantly) and just not doing anything else except paying attention to him so i go on explaining to him that i need to keep myself busy and im not doing it to annoy him - but he keeps on insisting so i excuse myself to a cigarette (he also hated smokers lmao) and call the widowmaker main friend from the previous question and am like “hey man i have the worst date of my life can u be at this place in 40 minutes and then we hit the night life” and hes like fine so i go back to David and tell him “sorry mate i just remembered i have my last bus home in 30 minutes and the next one is in 1,5 hrs and i really cant stay out that late so can we wrap this up and schedule an other meeting some other time” and hes like fine... got me to the bus stop, i sat on the bus.... got off at the next bus stop, met up with widowmaker main guy and went out for drinks and decided to never go on tinder dates again sdfgsdfg

48. Describe your ideal partner. thats a hard one, hey! but i dont think i have an ideal, guess ill work with anyone whos a decent human being who wont require me to be the housemaid and cook and clean and do everything for them. oh and they totally need to know how to use a washing machine... one of my exes was incapable of this (and here i was thinking that in 2018 ppl saw a washing machine already... looks like i was wrong and im still not over that incident 2 yrs ago). oh and they gotta be fine with the idea of never having kids cuz theres no way im putting myself through raising one of those, im a man of career and money, totally not responsible enough to raise another living human being sdsdgdf

[cicinicole-14]

coco’s college story

I just need to vent and get things off my chest. this is going to be quite long, and I’m going to add more to this, but we’re starting a new segment on this blog called #coco’s college story. I’m going to get personal and real and you don’t have to read, but I just need to write it all out. feel free to come talk if you feel inclined to. and since this will be long, I’ll put it under the cut. lets hope everything is spelled right...

college really sucks sometimes. I’m really stressed out from it and I have no idea what to do or what I am doing. 

I’m going to start at the beginning, or try to at least. which, brings me to grade 11. I think this is really where it started. everyone was starting to take the ACT/SAT (American standardized tests required for most college admittance) and I hadn’t even begun to think where I truly wanted to go for college. yet some kids in my class had already started applying wtf. all I thought I knew was that a. I wanted to go out of state and b. I wanted to go far from home and c. I wanted to be a doctor. 

summer of 2016 (summer after I finished 11th grade) I was in Virginia visiting my best friend Autumn (she plays a huge role in this). Autumn is 6 months older than me and would be at this time starting her first semester at GMU in the fall of 2016. so she asked me where I wanted to go to school. my reply? “haha that’s a great question!!! I have no fucking clue.” (literally word for word) and she was like “apply to GMU!!!” and I was like, “dude, Noah fence but you’re going there to be a hISTORY major and I literally slept thru that class for all of middle and high school. nah fam” and she’s like “yeah, but they have a great science program and then you can go to Hopkins after.” so I was like ok maybe. so I did what everyone does best: listed my pros and cons

pros: 

going to school w/ bff since age 3

1,025 miles from home and from my mother* 

good science program so I can be a dr?? 

location wise: gr8 bc autumn’s fam lived 2hrs north and my stepsister (who I’m close with) lived 2hrs NE and its a 2hr plane ride home to florida

cons: 

is hella expensive**

1,025 miles from home 

current number of people I know going to this school: 1 (and pls note: I hate doing things alone even tho I love to be alone. idk how to explain this but like like I enjoy being alone but I don’t like being alone. I know some of y’all understand this?)

leaving friends I have in florida

tbh, the pros outweighed the cons and I applied to GMU and I was accepted. (I applied to other schools and got accepted to one and denied at another because they closed the program I was applying for but I can assure u had they not, I would’ve gotten accepted)anyway, I took my ACT in October of 2016 and got accepted to gmu in December of 2016. I think that’s really when the stress started kicking in, because while I was happy to be accepted to my dream school, I had a lot of emotions I wasn’t ready for and then later on experienced them. 

2017 started off decently. I went into the second semester of senior year knowing I was accepted and 100% planning on going to my dream school, ready for a new future, ready to leave Florida, excited about going to Italy that march with my class etc… 

but it also brought hard times because I ended my friendship with one of my best friends in the whole world: olivia. we were inseparable and had been for 8 years and knew each other for 13 years. it was seriously really hard, especially because not only was I close to her, I was close with her mom, little brother, big sister, niece and nephews. it really sucked. 

and, I had the daunting task of telling my mother I was going to Virginia for college. 

now, as some of you may know, my relationship with my mother is very strained. and whenever I refer to my “parents” on Tumblr, I’m talking about my dad and stepmom, because I always refer to my mom (as mother) separately. and add to the fact, my mother flipped out on autumn’s mom a few years ago and told them to never speak to me again. so, since I was 12 years old, my mom has had no idea I’ve kept in touch with autumn and still has no idea I go to school with autumn. (my dad and stepmom love her family and her and see no problem with them same as me and she’s my best friend and my mother has issues we will not be addressing rn) anyway, so I didn’t tell my mother I got accepted to GMU until April of 2017. (mind you, I found out mid-december and my dad found out when I got the email because I made Claudia stop the car before we headed to a Christmas party lol) and so I told my mom in April that I was going to GMU and she asked me if autumn went there and I lied right thru my teeth and told her I had no fucking clue because we weren’t friends, remember? and that was one big thing that really started the stressing because a. I didn’t have olivia there as my bff to help me thru the stressful time, and b. I so badly wanted my mother to be happy for me but I knew deep down she really wasn’t because she also flipped out a bit and was like “wtf ur going to college? u leave in august?” and I was like yeah, what did you expect me to do?” and honestly, she was angry about it, but I was an adult, its my life and she had no say in where or whether or not I was going to college. 

so, fast forward to college. idk how chronological this will be so we’re just going to list some stressors I’ve had with college. 

it’s 1,025 miles away from home

I grew up in a town in Florida, in the same neighborhood I was brought home from the hospital in (I almost said same house, but I moved down the street long story…) I went to a preschool from ages 2-4 and then started elementary and middle school ages 5-13 at one school and then half of my eight grade class went to my high school. and I was there for four years. these people were family. out of the 7 people who went to high school with me, 4 I knew since kindergarten, one I knew since fifth grade and the other since sixth and the last one was me. and I made two friends (chelsey and Claudia) in ninth grade who are my sisters. I love them both so much. I would talk thru fire for them (and autumn, Robyn and belle ofc but we’re talking about my friends at home) anyway, I grew up there. Florida is my home. I like small places. I lived in a kinda small city in my two bedroom condo with my parents and doggo and I had neighbors who I’d known most of my life. my whole family was in Florida basically, minus my aunt (dad’s sister who we visit in NY or she’d visit us).

I was leaving my friends

I went from seeing Claudia every day in school, and once every two weeks during the summer or a few times a week because of our movie dates lol, and chelsey who graduated the year before me and lived an hour away from me at home, made it a point to still come to my school to see me and sleep over at my house, and then during the summer she came over once a week and stayed over. I saw them all the time. we’re three peas in a pod. I saw them a lot. and I only have 5 really close friends. friends I would walk thru fire for, and trust with my life. mentioned above: Claudia, chelsey, autumn, Robyn and belle. and we all have different relationships. autumn moved away when I was 11 and I coped with that in middle school (another dark time in my life) and I learned to live with that. Robyn and belle I met over Tumblr, so I’d never entertained the prospect of seeing them regularly. (tho Robyn and I have kinda made a pact of visiting each other during the summer and thus every other summer I get to see belle when Its my turn to visit Canada) but chelsey and claudia? I saw them a lot, and I hadn’t had to cope with a friend, who I saw a lot and was inseparable with, be away from me for a huge long period of time in a long time (age 11). and to add to the fact, both chelsey and Claude go to school at home and they became close with my family too so like idk it all just kinda fell apart 

I get really homesick/leaving my parents and dog

this one wasn’t as bad solely because, I left home august 2nd. I was traveling by myself most of this month. I saw my parents at the end of the month when they held me move in for college. then, I got a surprise visit from them and my doggo in September because they drove up to my sister’s house 2 hrs from my school to escape the hurricane that was to hit Florida (bless, my house was fine). then I saw them again in October, because my sister got married!!! and thanksgiving I saw them again, November, because ofc its thanksgiving ill see them, even though it flew by. and now here, its December and I’m going home for a month. so I’ll see them thru January. and then lbr, because my dad works in Maryland a lot, he’s probably gong to be up north most of 2018 too and he vowed to visit me when he could because he’s a mush and misses his kid even if he denies it. also, the homesickness; I don’t like being away from people/be by myself in a house for an extended period of time, but I kinda built up my tolerance because my dad travels a lot and I have speration anxiety from it (he travelled all my life and I was left with my mother for a lot of it so stress but I built up a tolerance for it when I was like 15 and my homesickness started getting better from then on out) and like I did really well when I spent 8 days in Italy without my parents etc which I only had 1 tiny little freak out and Claudia helped me thru it and was proud at the fact that I only had one like 2 days in to the trip and was fine after that. 

my life plan

holy f u c k. ever hear the saying like “you plan and god laughs”? well, holy fuck, it can’t be more true. I don’t care what god or thing you believe in, its fucking true. I’m a planner. not a detailed one, but its a rough outline, I have a plan of my life, roughly outlined; its got a few bullet points mainly looking like this:

my life:

go to college out of state

make money

be a doctor in the nicu

be a mom/foster/adopt kids

own lotsa pets

have enough money to build my own house

were going to focus on the “be a doctor” point. because this is where everything got fucked. 

since I was five years old, five. I wanted to be a doctor. since that age, I narrowed down the specifics and specialty etc. I picked out what school I wanted to go to for medical school and whatnot. I’ve wanted to be a doctor since I was five fucking years old. 

college has since changed that plan...

about a month into school this semester, I changed my major of–––biology degree> medical school> be a doctor to uh, now I’m currently in the pre-nursing (BsN) program at my college (and I’m minoring in photography, but that I knew about and hasn’t changed). I remember this day very clearly when I decided. it was a Monday. idk the date, but it was Monday and I was sitting in the JC (the main campus building) with autumn eating food and I was like “I’m having a crisis and I want to change my major to nursing” and so then I called my dad and told him I was going to do it. thankfully my while family was very supportive (minus my mother I have not talked to her since September[?]***)

so that happened, and threw me for a loop. 

college is just extremely different in general.

I really don’t even know how else to categorize this. so here are just random things. 

professors are weird. all of them. no matter their age: which this ranges too because I have some that are like two coughs away from dying and others who are literally only like 5 years older than me… fucking weird. 

your syllabus is your fucking roadmap. don’t fucking lose it. 

nothing ever gets graded at a decent time. I literally got two papers back without grades on them and they aren’t online either but the prof said that they’re recorded in the gradebook he has so like????

I grew up going to private christian schools since I was 2… which means no cussing in class and wearing a uniform and your parents drive you to school, we don’t have busses. 

college: no dress code. I wore pj’s (with jack skellington on them) to class and Christmas and halloween printed leggings and hoodies with just a bra underneath and fucking whatever the hell I wanted to class, strapless/sleeveless dresses, whatever. my professors cusses in classes/lectures. I was taken back by this at first. but thoroughly loved the chillness and laid-backness that classes had tho because I could say whatever I wanted (vulgarity wise). and I now blame my worsening swearing habit on college because I’m not in christian private school or nannying 3x a week anymore so I haven’t needed to curb my language… walking…everywhere… I live on campus in a dorm without a car (autumn has one but we really only use it to run errands on Fridays) and damn that was a shock. because while yes, I lived in a smallish city and there was a Walmart and dollar store close to my house to walk to if I was bored, I didnt really walk much, we drove a lot. because my school was 15 miles away. and like idk nothing wasn’t super close. and now here that I live on campus, my whole life is here. I eat sleep and breathe campus, so I walk everywhere. to all my classes, to get food, well thats basically it because thats all college leaves you time for… 

college is stressful. 

and finally, here are more things that I wasn’t expecting. 

I didn’t realize it was going to be this difficult. Im currently taking 6 classes (16 credits altogether) and out of those 6 classes, I’m currently passing 2 I think? college is fucking hard. it didn’t help that I had a few major major major anxiety attacks and literally disassociated with everything for a week, two different times, plus I got sick with a nasty ass cold, and like idk, just it sucked. I moved 1,025 miles from home and then homesickness an that reality of “I’m living a thousand miles from home by myself” hit me. and I literally know no one here except autumn who I see once a week on Fridays. (because we both have off) and like it killed me. I left my only home I’ve ever known. I moved my whole life here. and I had a shocking realization that yeah, I’m going to Florida during breaks and whatnot, but I left Florida August 2, 2017 and I knew it was for good. I packed up my whole room last summer and knew that when I got on the plane, I wasn’t going to ever be coming back home home for good. I left my keys on the kitchen counter and said goodbye to my room. and yes, its still my room, but it’s been a guest room for the past few months and its not my room anymore. I did move out. and so that hit me too. 

and I’m alone here. I had a mental breakdown one day when I was texting chelsey and Claudia and all I really wanted was a hug from them but they’re a thousand miles away and couldn’t give me one, so I was stuck crying in the middle of our campus chick-fil-a. and so I texted autumn at 9am on a Thursday and she came in her pj’s and walked across campus to give me a hug so I could hug her, cry on her shoulder and breathe a little easier. 

and while I know this decision to move states away and leave everything I’ve ever known was hard, I know it was the right decision and the best decision I ever made, and the scariest.

I know that because if I went to school at home, I would Never have ended up moving out. I know I needed to experience college dorm life, and living by myself more, and being independent. I know for my health––mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally––it was for the better. mentally: I am able to escape my mother being here where she can’t visit me or I won’t run into her here. physically: I walk everywhere and I’m attempting to eat healthier etc… spiritually: I’ve had a rough time with my faith, but I’m a christian and like autumn helps me a lot with this in strengthening my faith etc etc, (I’m more spiritual than religious) and emotionally: I’ve been able to heal and accept who I am, and I came out as bi to my friends, currently 4/5 of them and all of you guys. its a new zone here and I can live and be free and be me. I don’t have to worry about the people I knew from high school judging me because I’m bi and we went to a christian school etc. I’m who I am here and my decision to move here has helped me grow. 

and also, yeah, I’m stressing currently about my future, but I’m going to take it a day at a time. I’m failing classes right now, but I’ve realized thats because I haven’t been on my A-game. I went thru a major life change, I’ve had a bit of family health issues, I’ve had to deal with a lot of issues and stress surrounding my mother and my relationship with her since starting college, and like a lot more, and so I have decided that while I had a mental breakdown about not making it into the nursing program, I’m going to take it slowly. fuck doing this all “fast and in four years and yada yada”. Its only been one semester, this is a whole new ballgame for me. college is so different from high school. so, I’m going to be better next semester, focus more on my passions, maybe take summer classes, and not pressure myself to be in the nursing program in my 3rd year, take my time. there’s no rush. 

notes:

*– mother and I have a very strained relationship due to her years of mental abuse (and very little but still prevalent physical abuse) towards me. I’ve been trying to get out from under her thumb since I was 10. moved in with my dad when I was 12 but since he travelled for work a lot, I stayed with mother etc until I was about 15 when I stayed with friends or by myself. and so being away from her like this has only brought peace and less fights because I don’t have to see her or talk to her

**– college out of state tuition is hella fucking expensive, but thankfully, my granddad had set aside money for his grandkids (there’s only 2 of us, me and my cousin Kiersten who is out of college now) and has put us thru school (private school) our whole lives. we have been blessed so very graciously with being able to go to any school we chose debt free because our grandpa has it covered no questions asked and truly its the best thing ever because while I grew up not worrying about tuition, I still grew up with a tight family income because mom had a fixed income and then when I moved in with dad, he worked for himself, so he has seasonal work… some months its great, other months were scrounging for the last few dollars to put food on the table… 

***–since moving to college and being out from under my mother’s thumb, I’ve been talking with my parents (again remind u this means dad and stepmom) about me needing to learn to heal and forgive and just live my life and I can’t do that if I keep having my mother call or text me or expect me to visit her etc… I’m an adult. I’m going home this Christmas to tell her that if she wants to be my mother in the long run, she needs to play by my rules, and this is now going to happen my way. I need to cut contact with her for however long. and she’s not to reach out to me. I need to be the one to do it because if she pushes it, our relationship is so strained right now because of her actions, if she attempts anymore, she’s going to lose me forever as her daughter and deep down, we both don’t want that. so I need space and need to learn how to forgive her. and she needs to get help and learn to be a better person herself. she needs to do a lot of things I’m not going to get into here but yeah, basically. 

so that’s it. this was really long and I’m sorry about that. if y’all feel inclined to talk to me about any of this, feel free to do so. I needed to talk through this. I’m probably going to talk about #coco’s college story a bit as my life goes on. I will keep everyone updated. college is stressful, and crazy, and scary and wild and fun and terrifying and a lot of emotions mixed in one

xx cici