#it's gonna be the longest month too without any breaks

[thehealingsystem]

why is school such a triggering place for me I have to go back tomorrow and I'm sitting here sobbing and despite having a break already feeling exhausted at having to now go back into constant survival mode

[meangirls-imagines]

Leap of Faith

Description: Part 2 to "Best Friends?" The roommates call an audible when they see how much the aftermath of the Incident™️ is affecting both girls. Help comes in the form of the Murray family.

WARNINGS: buckle up, this is a 2.4k word RIDE, realizations of love, reader being sad, sports injury (reader breaks her ankle), first kisses.

a month.

that's how long it had been since what leighton had deemed "d-day".

this was the longest she had ever gone without talking to y/n and leighton was hurting. she broke things off with alicia after the incident happened. it wasn't pretty. 

hurtful things were said, alicia flipped a coffee table and had to be escorted out of the dorm building by jackson, who kimberly luckily had at the ready when things turned south.

her roommates could see this was taking a toll on the blonde, the trio trying their best to keep leighton's spirits up. whitney was really the only one who got to see how it was affecting both girls. 

y/n, in whitney's opinion, was doing worse than leighton was. whitney rarely saw the girl outside of practice and the one class they had together. she had heard through the grapevine that y/n hadn't slept in days, maybe weeks. all she had been doing was going to class, practice and the gym.

had she tried to talk to y/n? yes. but to no avail. the girl had brushed her off every single attempt. whitney had no idea what to do. she talked to bela and kimberly and they formed a plan.

they were going to get the girls together.

leighton was pleasantly surprised when she saw her dad and nico sitting outside her dorm on a bench, seemingly waiting for her. she walked up to them and immediately was pulled into a hug by nico.

"leighton! there's my beautiful sister." the blonde was confused but hugged her brother back. once he released her, her dad pulled her into his arms. "hi guys. not that i'm not happy to see you, but what are you doing here?" the two shared a secret look with each other. "we wanted to visit and say hi. your mom is here too, but she went to talk to the kappa president about something."

the blonde looked suspicious but shrugged it off. the two men kept talking as they guided leighton to their suv that was parked near by, planning on taking her to lunch. the blonde allowed them to, finally relaxing for the first time in weeks. 

y/n shot another ball into the back of the net at full force. practice had ended over an hour ago and she was still kicking penalty shots, trying to get her frustration out. her body was exhausted and threatened to shut down at any moment, but y/n stayed fueled with energy drinks. she had jogged after the ball she had been practicing with when a voice yelled out.

"i knew you'd be here." 

y/n froze. she hadn't heard that voice in a while. she slowly turned to see a woman taking off a pair of designer sunglasses, staring into y/n's soul.

there she stood, in all her glory. mimi murray. y/n audibly gulped at the woman staring at her. she slowly walked towards the woman, kinda like a scared puppy. the woman looked at y/n and cupped her cheeks. "have you been sleeping? eating?" y/n opened her mouth to answer when mimi put her hand up to stop her. 

"no. you don't need to answer, i already know. grab your stuff. we have plans." y/n nodded and quickly grabbed her stuff, not wanting to disappoint the woman more than she probably had.

with leighton, nico, and henry, the trio were out eating at an italian restaurant half an hour away from campus. the two men noticed how quiet leighton had gotten, asking her if everything was okay. she spilled everything to them, the men looking at her sadly. "leighton, i'm gonna be honest with you, i'm surprised it took you this long to catch on."

leighton looked at her dad surprised. "what do you mean?" her dad sighed. "i had a feeling a while ago that she had feelings for you. and then the feeling was confirmed last year. remember when that alex guy came to our house to ask you to prom?" leighton frowned. "yeah?"

y/n and leighton were hanging out in the living room of the murray household. since it was the spring, soccer season had taken over most of y/n's schedule, leaving her barely any room to hang out with the blonde. so, every rare weekend that y/n had off, she spent at leighton's house. 

as the two sat on the couch cuddling and watching a movie, the doorbell rang. thinking it was one of nico's friends, the girls ignored it. until leighton's dad came in. "hey leight, there's someone here for you." confused, the two girls got up, walking to the front door where alex hightower stood at leighton's door with a huge sign and a bag of leighton's favorite treats. the sign read "it would be a treat if you went to prom with me". y/n's heart dropped to her stomach as leighton smiled at the boy, accepting his invite. 

she was hoping to gather enough courage to ask leighton if she just wanted to go together as friends. she visibly deflated as leighton spoke excitedly with alex about prom plans. henry was standing off to the side watching it all unfold. he saw how y/n reacted to the proposal and his heart broke a little bit. 

alex eventually left as leighton dragged y/n up to her room to have the girl help her plan her dress. henry saw as y/n plastered on a fake smile and allowed the girl to drag her up the stairs. 

when he woke up the next morning, y/n had already left. a few weeks later, as leighton danced with her date and scanned the room looking for y/n, her heart breaking when she didn't see her anywhere. y/n sat at home alone, looking on instagram and seeing how happy leighton looked. in that moment, y/n made sure that leighton kept that happiness with her, no matter how much it hurt her.

leighton's heart broke at the revelation. she had no idea she was the reason y/n didn't go to prom. it broke even more when she thought of y/n wanting to ask her to prom. she definitely would've had the perfect prom with y/n. nico and henry looked at leighton. nico spoke up. "leighton, y/n has been in love with you since you guys met. she has dedicated this friendship to making you happy, even though it kills her. and i think you love her too."

leighton was crying at this point. henry scooting closer to her and pulling his daughter into his side. "leighton, honey. you wanna know what i think you should do?" the blonde sniffled and nodded. "take the leap. go after her. you two are made for each other. you need each other more than you know. take the first step and get your girl." leighton sniffled and nodded. 

they paid for lunch and headed back to campus. on the drive back, ideas ran through leighton's head on how she could take the leap. a light bulb went off in her head and she smiled. 

she knew exactly what to do.

with mimi and y/n, the older woman took the girl to the best spa in town. after she had received a mysterious phone call from leighton's roommate, she listened as the girl told her what happened between y/n and her daughter and how y/n wasn't taking care of herself. her protective mom side came out and she cancelled any meetings she had for the rest of the day and headed to essex. 

now, the two sat in the steam room together, fresh out of their swedish massage sessions. mimi decided to break the ice first. "so, what happened between you and leighton?" y/n froze again. "we had a fight last month. i haven't talked to her since." mimi nodded. "did this fight have to do with the fact that you're in love with my daughter?"

y/n's head whipped around to look at the older woman nervously. "w-what?" mimi looked at the girl smirking. "i know more than you think. i also know that my daughter is also in love with you." y/n's jaw dropped. "no she doesn't. she's dating someone else." mimi shook her head. "nope. she called me the night you guys had the fight and told me that she broke up with that anna girl." 

y/n chuckled. "you mean alicia?" mimi waved the girl off. "same thing. she told me that the breakup didn't go well with alicia." y/n's heart dropped to her stomach at the thought of what might've happened. she shook her head. "so what if she broke up with her? she's not in love with me." mimi sighed. "yes she is. don't you remember what happened a couple of years ago?"

leighton murray was NOT a school spirit person. 

except when it came to y/n. 

when it came to y/n, leighton and her parents would be in the front row of the stands. leighton would be draped in whatever jersey y/n wasn't wearing, her soccer letterman, and the blonde would even go the extra mile and paint her face in school colors. she loved watching y/n play soccer. especially when y/n got extra sweaty. (leighton would daydream about other instances where y/n would be sweaty but she would never admit that.) 

this certain game, spence was playing their cross town rivals, st. john academy. the game was intense, both teams receiving multiple cards before halftime. y/n was getting pushed around and tackled more than usual and every time she hit the ground, leighton would lose a little off her life.

it all culminated in the 40th minute of the game. y/n was sprinting down the field with the ball at her feet, no defenders in front of her, ready to put spence in the lead. a defender from st. john had caught up to her and slid into a dirty tackle. y/n was blindsided as the defender's cleat came in at full speed and force to y/n's ankle.

there was a pop, a scream, and a thud as y/n fell in a heap to the ground, not before bouncing her head off the field. leighton couldn't breathe. she squeezed nico's hand extremely tight as the boy tried to calm her down. the second the ref waved her hand for the medics, leighton was out of her seat, sprinting to the field. 

coach smith met her at the sideline and ran over to y/n with her. the girl was writhing in pain on the ground, tears streaming from her face. the medics began prepping her ankle to transport her to the hospital. leighton kneeled next to her head. "y/n. hey, you're gonna be okay. i promise." the blonde took y/n's hand, squeezing it gently to let her know she was there. y/n squeezed back as her head pounded and her ankle throbbed. 

the medics eventually moved her to the ambulance where leighton demanded to ride with them, texting her parents to meet them at the hospital.

leighton never left y/n's side during her recovery. so when senior year rolled around, leighton was where she always was, front row, letterman on, watching her best friend take the field for the last time in her high school career. 

y/n was pulled out of the vivid flashback by mimi. "i knew leighton was in love with you when that happened. she was glued to your side that whole year you recovered. she had multiple guys ask her out on dates and she always shot them down. she always drove you to physical therapy. i knew then that if leighton, who refused to go near one of us when we're sick, was doing all of this for you being hurt, she loved you." 

y/n's heart raced. maybe mimi was right. but, had she ruined it with the fight they had last month? mimi noticed the hesitation on her face and stood. y/n looked at her confused. "where are you going?" mimi turned and smiled at the girl. "i'm taking you back to campus to get your girl."

y/n walked back to her dorm, more relaxed than when she left that morning. maybe she would sleep on it and make a decision from there. she pulled her keys out to unlock the door, eagerly wanting to get into bed. when she opened the door, the sight before her took her breath away.

leighton had crafted a blanket fort in the common room of y/n's dorm, fairy lights and all. y/n could see that leighton had gotten her favorite takeout, including dessert, she had a bottle of wine (that she convinced her dad to buy), and her laptop had disney plus queued up with the movie they always watched together, cinderella.

y/n looked at the blonde, who stood nervously by the couch. she was wearing one of y/n's soccer hoodies and some sweatpants. y/n had never seen her look more beautiful than she did in that moment. leighton smiled shyly at her. "hi. i know you're probably still mad at me but i've missed you and i couldn't stay away from you any longer so i did all this so hopefully you would forgive me? it's totally cool if you don't-"

y/n strode across the room and pulled leighton into her arms. she was taller than the blonde so she buried her face in leighton's hair. the blonde relaxed into y/n's arms, tucking her face in the crook of her neck. "i missed you too bubbles." leighton smiled at the nickname. they pulled away from the hug as leighton looked up at y/n. 

in a last second idea, leighton leaned up and kissed y/n, catching the girl off guard. y/n quickly relaxed into the kiss, sparks flying behind her eyes. the two kissed for a few minutes and pulled away. 

"i love you. i think i always have but i was too scared to admit it. but i've always had this weird feeling when i'm with you. i can't explain it, but i know it's a good feeling. and it's a feeling i don't want to ever lose. i wanna be yours, y/n. forever, if you'll have me."

y/n smiled wide and pulled leighton in for another kiss, this one more passionate than the last. "you have no idea how long i've waited to hear those words, bubbles." leighton smiled at the girl. "well, buttercup, get ready to hear them forever." the two kissed again, their passion slowly bleeding into the night.

the couple could never figure out what came over leighton's family to show up that day. 

they would find out years later.

in a speech, surrounded by their friends and loved ones.

with matching rings on their left hands.

[vigilvntes]

Jason Todd x Reader | On again-off again relationship hcs

A/N: lisTen. i'm incredibly sleep deprived so this is gonna be very messy and i have a whole ass book to read before my class at 9am and i probably won't sleep tonight so let me have this. let me have my low-key volatile relationship with jason todd where we love each other so deeply that we can't even stand to be around each other sometimes because we frustrate the fuck out of each other but we also can't live without each other. as the great lorde once said: let me live that fantasy.

W/C: 2500+ (help me i basically just outlined a whole story </3)

likes, rbs and comments are all very much appreciated <3

SOME NSFW UNDER THE CUT! ALSO BONUS BATFAMILY GETTING INVOLVED IN THE DRAMA AT THE END BECAUSE ,, FUNNY!!

you and jason have known each other for three years, and you've been together for around two years and two months of that time, if damian's calculations are correct. it's electric and heated and frantic and loving and frustrating and soft and infuriating, all at the same time. you just can't seem to stay away from each other. it's a 'cat and mouse' kind of situation, one where you just can't seem to stop chasing each other despite how ridiculously awful it always seems to turn out in the end. the longest you've managed to really hold it together is seven months, but you can't stay away for more than a month at a time.

you make out like teenagers. make love almost every night. laugh at his dumb jokes or funny comments. patch up any mild injuries he comes home with. tickle each other until you're on the floor breathless, surrendering and begging him to show you mercy. you spend lazy mornings together in bed. bicker and shit-talk each other over breakfast. cuddle on the couch late at night. it's perfect in theory, and he's admittedly an amazing boyfriend. he's caring and attentive and he loves to love you and be loved. but your tempers get the better of both of you.

fights break out because you're both kind of impulsive and hot-headed. neither of you can help your snark or cutting comebacks sometimes. you run your mouths about something – anything, and you run the risk of everything breaking down within the hour. you know his weak spots, know how to push his buttons when he's really pushing yours; and as you know his, he knows yours just as well. you'd never go as far as to bring up anything too personal or out of pocket, but you still know just how to get on each others nerves perfectly. how to manually detonate the ticking time bomb before it blows up on its own accord.

you frustrate the fuck out of each other, and he has a tendency to just walk out of your apartment mid-argument. he puts the suit on, tells you he'd rather be out on the streets getting his ass handed to him by a gang of drunks dressed up as teletubbies and then have bane rush in and pummel him into the concrete than have to deal with you when you're feeling particularly prickly, and you tell him to go fuck himself on his way out. the battle to get the last word in commences, and you've often found yourself yelling at him from your apartment window whilst he yells up at you from the street below because you both just refuse to give up the fight.

most times he comes back, but sometimes he doesn't. when it hits 8am and you haven't heard him rummaging through your kitchen cupboards or refrigerator; he still hasn't crawled back into your bed, kissed your forehead softly and buried his face into the crook of your neck, you shrug your shoulders, tell yourself everything's going to be okay. and then sob violently into your pillow because it's over. he's gone. but with jason, it's never really over. by some weird twist of fate (love, but jason prefers to call it coincidence, although it's anything BUT that) you always end up finding your way back to each other. you break up and even DATE other people but it's never serious and it just never feels the same because for some strange reason whenever you're apart you both miss the chaos of each other and even though you can literally be the worst when you're together, you would rather be together and be the worst than be without each other.

jason turns up at your door at 2AM when he hears you might be seeing someone new after a breakup the month before, demanding to be let in and when you relent (pretty quickly) and open the door he immediately has you against the wall, desperately grabbing at your hips and kissing you like there's no tomorrow whilst mumbling that no one could ever compare to him so don't even think about trying to replace him.

he has you naked and spread out on the bed in ten minutes tops, his tongue swirling against your clit in all the right places, big hands gripping on to your thighs. he grins like a fucking maniac when he makes you cum in record time, just under a minute if he was counting correctly. you cum on his face again, his fingers, his thigh and eventually his cock, until you're laid on his chest with his cum leaking out of you, breathless and all fucked out, mumbling 'i love you'. he says it back, reminds you again that no one could ever be him, and you know he's right. you knew this would happen and truthfully you were desperate to have him back which is maybe, possibly why you made a point to mention to roy that you were seeing someone else because you just knew he'd tell jason.

on the flip side, you send jason a risky picture of yourself in a brand new lingerie set when you find out he's going on a date with someone. you immediately apologise and claim it to be accidental and that it was meant for someone else. you watch your phone blow up with calls and texts from jason, listen to each and every angry-horny-frustrated-infatuated voicemail he leaves and grin the whole time because you know you have him wrapped around your finger, as much as he denies it.

you turn your phone off, unlock your door and wait patiently by the open window until you hear angry footsteps coming from below, stomping up the stairs of your apartment building. he busts through your door and demands that you tell him what the fuck you think you're playing at. you feign innocence and tell him that it was a genuine mistake but he knows you're lying and he has you on the couch, straddling his lap almost immediately. your pyjamas have been torn off, giving him an up-close, in-person view of the pretty new set from the picture earlier. the view is much nicer when it's not on a tiny phone screen; pictures do the real thing no justice. his phone vibrates while you're trailing kisses down his jaw to his neck, and you tell him he should take the call because it's probably his date wondering where the hell he is but he just turns his phone off and tosses it to the side. why the hell would he go on some shitty, awkward first date when he could have you?

the reunion is always sweet. there's always that honeymoon period with him no matter how many times you've broken up– upped and left each other following an argument. when it's good, it's really good. but you just can't seem to escape the inevitable. eventually one of you pushes it too far and the whole thing blows up in your faces. he walks out, you cry yourself to sleep and then you find some way to worm your way back into the others life, depending on who picked the fight that left everything broken once again. neither of you are exactly sure why you fight like cat and dog. you're perfect for each other on paper; you understand each other on a far deeper and more intellectual level than anyone ever could. you get on like a house on fire on your good days (which are admittedly most days), but somehow the bad days always seem to outweigh the good. he once made a joke that it's because you love him so much that you can't live with him, but you also can't live without him. he was probably right.

one night, after a particularly nasty breakup the week before, he stumbles into your apartment clutching at his side, barely able to breathe. he's been so uncaring lately, letting himself get caught up in his own head and his emotions regarding you and your relationship and it's lead to him taking a few more blows than he normally would. tonight he paid the price, took what he thinks might be the final hit, and he needed to see you one last time just in case things don't work out for him. you don't even have the chance to ask him what he's doing in your apartment before he's collapsing on to your living room floor, blood dripping through his fingers and on to your carpet. you drop to your knees next to him and whisper his name so softly, inspecting the wound and feeling guilty when he hisses in pain when your fingers brush against it. it's deep, and yes you've patched him up before –you know how to stitch up cuts but you're not a medical professional and this is a serious wound to his abdomen. there's not much you can do about it alone. you're already crying but before you can start freaking out and trying to fix things he takes your face in his hands, his grip weak, and tells you very sincerely that he loves you deeply, and he's sorry for all of the fights he's caused and all of the times he walked out on you and that it's always been you and it always will be.

he's in and out or consciousness and you're begging him to wake up, to be okay; telling him that you love him and you can't lose him. you try your best to stop the bleeding, pressing towels and old shirts against the wound but it just won't stop. so you call alfred from jason's phone, explain to him what's going on and soon enough you're playing host to a batfamily gathering in your tiny living room. dick quite literally has to drag you away from his body kicking and screaming while bruce and alfred assess the situation. they decide to take him back to the manor, and of course you follow them. you spend days by his side, waiting for him to wake up. alfred has to take you by the elbow and walk you away from him to eat dinner or shower or sleep in jason's old room.

it's just so typical that you're not there when he wakes up. you're sleeping, bundled up in his bed sheets when alfred comes to wake you. you literally leap out of bed, almost tripping over your own feet as you run into the room jason's in. that stupid grin, although strained, spreads across his lips as soon as he sees you through half-shut eyes. you're crying already, rushing to his side and resting your head on his chest, soaking his shirt with your tears. he chuckles at your reaction, teases you for being so worried about him as if he hasn't already kicked death in the dick before, and he mocks you lightheartedly for admitting that you can't live without him (it was the last thing he heard before he lost consciousness). you giggle through your tears, letting it slide because when you look up at him, he's crying too.

it literally takes jason almost dying on your living room floor for you to both realise how much you actually mean to each other, and that having a connection and a love like this isn't something that you can and should just walk away from every couple of weeks. you both decide to start working on things; learning how to control your temper and when the appropriate time to shut the fuck up would be. how to talk things through maturely, without the yelling and constant breakups. of course, you still bicker and shit talk each other. and sometimes one of you will take it too far. jason will glare at you for a moment until you give him an awkward grin and mumble 'oops', and you'll give him the silent treatment for fifteen minutes (which would feel like HELL to him) until he makes you laugh. you're happier this way, knowing that it doesn't have to be that difficult and you can just be. you're not constantly waiting for something to go wrong or for one of you to fuck up, that anxiety has dissipated and you enjoy feeling calm and content with him.

+ bonus: batfamily getting in on the drama

the first time jason stormed into the batcave at 3am, fists balled and eyes red and puffy, bruce was immensely concerned. he sat jason down, put on his best dad™️ voice and asked 'what's wrong?'. jason told him it was nothing, just a little relationship trouble and that bruce didn't have to worry it, he just needed to get away and he thought the batcave would be the perfect place to brood for a few hours before going back home. the second time jason stormed in, he was still concerned for his emotional state, but not all that surprised to see him. bruce left him alone, let jason sit next to him, listened to him curse under his breath. the seventh time? bruce sat at his desk, jason beside him, listening to him ramble on and on about what had happened and how he took it too far again but it's not entirely his fault because you pushed his buttons but he shouldn't have said that to you because he loves you but you just get on his nerves sometimes. bruce nods occasionally, murmurs 'uh-huh' just to prove to jason that he is listening. kind of. sort of. not.

dick receives frustrated, angry texts at ungodly hours in the morning from jason telling him that the relationship is over. jason isn't sure why he vents to dick. it's definitely not because dick gives good advice, jason doesn't even open the texts dick sends back full of agony-aunt type solutions. one night, he receives one of these texts from jason, telling him that you're done with him and he can't ever go back to your apartment. all he can do the next day when he sees you and jason walk into the manor, grinning at each other like you're the sun, moon and stars with his arm wrapped around your waist, is shrug his shoulders.

listen, if damian is going to be forced to sit through the weekly couples quarrel at the manor, he's at least going to make some sort of profit from it. it starts out as a secret, damian makes everyone place bets (with real cash) on how long it'll take you and jason to piss each other off when you come over for dinner. tim wins the first time, and is less than amused when he only receives half of what everyone put into the bet, damian citing that he's the organiser so he gets half of the profit. eventually, he branches out. he starts taking money for bets on how long it'll take for a fight to break out, what you'll be fighting about, and which one of you will leave the dinner table first. everyone joins in (even alfred), and when you find out about damian's little scheme, even you can't help but slide over a $20 bill with a declaration that it'll take jason 45 minutes to say something that'll have you glaring him down. you win that bet, because you know him better than anyone else, and you split the profits with jason. everyone thinks this is unfair, and you're both promptly excluded from participating in the betting.

[marvel-ous-m]

*another installment of Modern Elementary School Steddie AU* *TWs: Hospital visit, medical scare*

It’s a rainy Friday in March when everything goes to shit. They’re coming up on Steve and Eddie’s 6 month anniversary, and Eddie’s using his lunch break to browse some potential weekend getaway spots. They can’t go too expensive- they’re both living off of a teacher’s salary after all, they can barely afford their living expenses, plus Valentine’s day just happened and they went a little overboard with a nice dinner- but Eddie had picked up a couple extra shifts at his old shop over the last few weekends while Steve was busy grading papers and lesson planning, so he had a little money set aside to treat Steve to something special. 

Eddie’s just about to press the ‘reserve’ button on an AirBnB in Chicago for the weekend when Mike Wheeler and Will Byers walk into his library holding hands. 

Unaccompanied.

And Mike looks like he’s been crying. 

Eddie stands from his chair and circles his desk, crouching in front of the two boys. “Hey guys. You should be doing…” Eddie searches his brain for a moment, trying to remember Steve’s schedule for the kids. “Math problems right now, right? Does Mr. Steve know that you’re here?”

“He told us to come here.” Will sniffs, and Eddie notes that he looks on the brink of tears. “He stopped teaching and then turned all the lights off and then sat down and then made us come an’ get you. ‘S he gonna be okay?” 

Eddie tries very, very hard to keep the panic off of his face. He honestly has no clue what’s going on, but he doesn’t waste time trying to figure it out. “Let’s go make sure. Good job being safe by coming here together, boys.” Eddie walks out of the library with them and down the hall- and goddamn why was Steve’s classroom so far from the library?!

Finally, after the longest three minutes of Eddie’s life, they make it to the classroom and Eddie finds a dark classroom of quiet kids sitting politely at their desks and Steve sitting at the front of the room, his forehead against the metal of his teacher’s table. Eddie clears his throat, smiling at all the kids. He needs to check on Steve, but if something is seriously wrong, he knows that Steve wouldn’t want the kids to see it. “Alright everyone, line up, we’re gonna visit Mr. Argyle’s 2nd grade class. C’mon, hop to it.” 

Argyle teaches across the hall, so Eddie figured it would be fastest to usher the kids across the hallway to him. He gets them all in a line within a minute (which is probably a world record for any elementary school anywhere, but he doesn’t exactly have the time to parade his accomplishment around at the moment). Argyle accepts the kids without question, having them all join him on the carpet at the front of the room for story time. He must see something in Eddie’s expression because Argyle waves him off the second the last kid steps into the classroom.

Eddie’s back across the hall in a heartbeat, kneeling next to Steve and brushing some hair out of his face. “Hey pretty boy. What’s goin’ on?” 

Steve lets out a low groan, shaking his head slightly against the table. Eddie sighs in response. “I need to know what’s wrong so I can fix it, babylove. Can you give me any direction? Is this a need-a-break-for-30-minutes thing or a need-to-call-the-paramedics thing?” Eddie sends a quick prayer to whatever being is listening that it’s not the second option. 

Then Steve unfurls his fist that was previously clenched in a fist and holds up two fingers, and Eddie’s stomach drops.

He uses Steve’s phone to dial Nancy’s extension, petrified of letting Steve out of his sight. He tells her it’s a code red and that she needs to come to Steve’s classroom pronto. Steve doesn’t complain about anything, like, ever. They were making dinner one night about a month ago and Steve cut his hand open on a potato peeler and laughed it off- then kept laughing it off as they went to urgent care to get him stitches. 

Eddie meets Nancy in the hall- reluctant to leave Steve, but also conscientious of not freaking Steve out as they go through the motions of getting him help. Nancy’s got her cell phone out and she dials for a paramedic first, then texts Johnathan to let him know that his afternoon library session had to be canceled. They both wait with Steve in the dark of his classroom until Nancy gets the call from the front office that the ambulance arrived. She stalks off, returning five minutes later with four paramedics and a stretcher. 

Eddie is pushed out of the way- and fuck, he hates having to stand by and watch, chewing at his fingernails as he sees the gaggle of paramedics speaking quietly between themselves and making Steve respond to questions and open his eyes for them to shine a light and check his pupils. Then they’re loading him on a stretcher, and everything starts to go by too quickly for Eddie to process.

Eddie blinks, and he’s in the back of an ambulance, his hand wrapped around Steve’s ankle- the only spot Eddie feels like he can touch without messing with wires, but he’s desperate to hold onto something. To show Steve that he’s here. 

He blinks again, and Eddie’s standing at the doors to the emergency room, staring at the doors through which they had just taken Steve, the doors through which he was not allowed to follow.

Another blink and he’s sitting at Steve’s bedside, head in his hands while Steve takes a medically-induced nap next to him. He’d been taken in for scans- MRI, CT, XRay- Eddie wasn’t sure, he got the letters mixed up in his panic, all he knew was that they scanned his head because his pupils weren’t dilating correctly, then took his blood to run some tests, then put him to sleep because he had thrown up from pain and had begged for them to turn the lights off.

Which, Eddie hated the image of Steve feeling that way. He could barely stand it. But he was glad that the nurse had told him- because seeing Steve wheeled back to the hospital room asleep had scared Eddie in an entirely different way. 

Steve woke up about two hours after he had been returned from his scans. He was groggy, but had reached for Eddie almost immediately and said that he was feeling a lot better, which made Eddie’s heart rate go down to a semi-normal bpm (in comparison to the previous extremely high heart rate- his anxiety was a bitch). A doctor joined them a few minutes later and Eddie held Steve’s hand as they got the update. 

Steve had a migraine, which the doctor explained could be chronic- Steve would need to speak with a neurologist about that. The emergency room doctor said he suspected it was due to head trauma and was latent until something knocked it into presenting itself. And that’s how Eddie found out that Jonathan Byers, 5th grade teacher, once beat up Steve when they were teenagers to protect Nancy Wheeler’s honor? Which... it was a very confusing timeline, not aided by Steve’s exhaustion, but Eddie made him promise that they would talk about it in detail when Steve was feeling better. 

Then Steve confessed to getting in a bar fight with a guy that happened to be Max Mayfield’s much older step-brother, where he had a beer bottle smashed over his head (a story which Eddie also couldn’t follow due to Steve’s current condition, and also made Steve promise to tell again when he was feeling better). 

Then there was a story about Steve getting punched by a Russian guy who was mugging him a year or so ago- which, how does that even happen? 

Then Steve finished off his recounting of his head trauma history by sharing that he’d slipped on some ice at the bottom of the stairs of his apartment complex about a month ago, and that the back of his head had hit the bottom step when he fell. He apparently didn’t think much of it at the time other than that it hurt like hell (which made Eddie have Steve promise to tell him anytime he got hurt- because things like this couldn’t keep happening). 

After recounting all his concussions, the doctor handed them a referral to a neurologist and had a nurse get them discharged. Eddie took Steve back to his place that night, unable to let Steve out of his sight. Steve was exhausted from the day, and in Eddie’s opinion, rightfully so. Eddie helped him get changed into sweats and then changed himself into more comfortable clothes. Finally, after they were both settled in Eddie’s bed, Eddie wrapped himself around Steve and kissed Steve’s forehead, watching his boy sleep the day’s stress away. Nancy gave them both the rest of the week off, knowing that Steve needed the rest and Eddie needed the peace of mind.

The two went to the neurologist that weekend and, after some more tests, Steve was diagnosed with chronic migraines due to multiple traumatic brain injuries. He was prescribed a daily medication, a preventative medication in case he began to feel a migraine coming on, and some high-strength pain medication to take if a migraine happened. He was also given strict orders to avoid any activities that could cause further brain injury, as that could lead to results that, for Eddie’s own health, were best not to talk at length about. 

Their anniversary money ended up getting used to offset the costs of the specialist visit and medication copay, and they ended up spending their 6 month anniversary curled up in Eddie’s bed while Eddie read Steve The Hobbit, but if the experience taught them both anything, it was that they didn’t need fancy trips out of state or five-star dinners to celebrate their love- the most important thing was just having time with each other, because they could have lost that completely, and they were never going to take that for granted again. 

Taglist: @goodolefashionedloverboi

Drop me an ask if you want to get added to the taglist or if you have any ideas/questions about this series!

[katethewriter]

Just Come Home

sequel to Wish We Could Be Like That

Pairing: WandaNat x Reader

Words: 11k~

Summary: Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Inspired by the song Where's My Love by SYML

Warnings: bad words, bad guys, canon typical violence, an extremely long chapter

A/N: Remember when I said its gonna get worse before it gets better? hehehe... This part includes a long-awaited confrontation! I also hope this is a satisfying ending for the story. I don't really have anything planned next for this series, but I'm not against adding to it. If you have any ideas, hit me up! I might see if it can fit into the series. I'm almost certain this is the longest single chapter I've ever written for a fic. I hope you guys enjoy! Let me know what you think!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Part One - Part Two - Part Three

Near silent foot steps announce Clint’s return.

For the last two hours, he had left to pick up the next shipment you are to pass to the tracksuits. As he enters the room, he looks at you sheepishly. His hands mindlessly fiddle with a small piece of paper with every step.

You barely spare him a glance before returning to the notes you were studying.

The two of you have barely spoken since that morning you finally broke the news of your relationship. Beyond the few questions he asked you about the timeline of your relationship, not much has been said about the matter. The longer the information sets in, the more he contemplates the last year and his interactions with you specifically.

You can see the guilt setting in more and more with each day. You want to give him the benefit of the doubt. He had only been trying to be a good friend. He thought he was looking out for Natasha. That’s what he was trying to do, unknowingly causing the pain he was trying to prevent. You try to remember his intentions were in a good place, despite bring terribly misguided.

However, the sting of betrayal still lingers. The last six months spent with no contact from Natasha and Wanda, without even a chance to say goodbye, all because he meddled into a relationship that wasn’t his to meddle in to begin with.

He comes to a stop in front of you, holding the folded page between you. “This was with the shipment,” Clint breaks the three day silence, “its for you.”

When you look up, he doesn’t meet your gaze. You stare at the offered paper for a moment before finally reaching out to take it from him. As the archer shuffles back to his side of the room, you turn the page over in your hands. Unfolding it slowly, you instantly recognize the handwriting, and your breath catches in your throat.

Y/n,

 I wish I could just speak to you directly. I know it would do me good to hear your voice right now, Wanda too. We meant it when we said we are incomplete without you. Unfortunately, this note will have to do for now. We understand this mission is very important, and you have to do what you have to do. However, we miss you more than words can describe and want nothing more than for you to come home as soon as you can. Work fast, but please be careful. Your safety is paramount. We will wait however long we must to be with you again.

We love you.

-N

You don’t notice you are crying until a tear has landed on the paper. You quickly swat away the tears, very aware of the archer still in the room with you. You look up and lock eyes with him. By the look on his face, you know that he read it. He must have to know that it was meant for you.

“I’m sorry,” Clint whispers.

Silence stretches between opposite sides of the room. You need to talk. Decisions have to be made, plans discussed and orchestrated. The next exchange is tomorrow night, and they will want your answer by then.

You fold the paper and tuck it beneath your pillow, “I know.”

“For all of it,” he responds, “for dragging you on this mission, for how I acted, for what I did that night.” He’s had time to think, practiced a few speeches in his head. The apology he owes you. The apology he owes Nat. He can’t seem to come up with the right words, but he tries anyway. He knows you need to clear the air, so you can complete the mission and get home where you belong. “None of it was ok,” he clears his throat.

It’s a big change, an almost complete 180. He wouldn’t blame you for not forgiving him. He knows he doesn’t deserve it. He hasn’t earned it, but he wants to.

“Why didn’t you just tell me?” Clint asks, “that night or even after?”

Incredulous, you look across the room, “would you have believed me?”

He’s quiet, contemplating his answer. He wants to say yes, that he would have believed you and reacted differently. If he’s honest though, he doesn’t know. Was he too blinded by his protective instincts to have seen the truth? “I don’t know.”

You nod. You can appreciate his honesty at least. “I was insecure,” you admit, “I was worried that you were right. That my involvement in our relationship was hurting them.” Your hand raises to your chest, running your fingers over the rings. Reminding yourself of the reassurances they promised you.

“I was wrong,” Clint nods towards the note under your pillow, “they’re obviously better off with you than without. I’m sorry I didn’t see it.”

You nod silently. As day turns to night and the sky goes black, you remember the mission and what you have to do tomorrow night. “I have to go,” you state, knowing that he will understand what you mean, “we both know that.”

Clint shakes his head, “I can’t let you.”

Groaning, you roll your eyes, “Clint-“

“Y/n,” he interrupts before you can even say anything, “I can’t. If I send you in alone, Nat will never forgive me.”

“You’re a little late for that, bud,” you retort with a raised brow.

He pauses for a moment, contemplating the cryptic message in your response. “She knows?”

You nod in response.

“Does she know about that night in the hall?” he specifies, “about the bruises?”

You nod again.

He furrows his brow, “but she never said anything.”

“She found out the night before we left for the mission,” you explain, “Wanda too, at the bar.”

Clint’s face falls even more, “was she pissed? Nat?”

A chuckle escapes your throat, “I believe her exact words were ‘I’m gonna kill him.’”

He nods solemnly. He knows he deserves it.

Silence falls once again. You both know what you have to do, though he doesn’t want to admit it.

“I have to go in,” you repeat, “it’s the only way we’re going home.”

Clint nods reluctantly, hoping this won’t be the last nail in his coffin.

~I’ve got a fear, oh, in my blood.~

When Wanda rolls over in the morning, she is met with cold sheets as usual. Natasha left long before for her morning run. The sokovian buries her face in the pillow, inhaling as much of your scent as possible.

Late in the night, she had made her way to Y/n’s room. Unable to sleep until she was wrapped completely in her girlfriend’s bedding. When Natasha had woken with Wanda’s movement, she quickly followed. Lying in Y/n’s bed, they were almost able to trick their brains into believing that she’s here.

As she sits up in the bed, Wanda can’t ignore the sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. Something doesn’t feel right, but she can’t put a finger on what it is. The worry settles into her bones as she gets up and begins the day.

Maria and Steve are standing in the same spot looking over the same display boards they always are when Natasha makes her way into the command room. Instantly, she can feel the energy is different today.

The pair are tensely focused on the information on the screens, hushed words exchanged quickly with a sense of urgency. Worry pools in the widow’s stomach like it never has before.

“Any news?” she asks as she quickly approaches the pair.

They startle at her sudden entrance. They turn to her, and then quickly look to each other in silent hesitation.

“What’s going on?” Nat asks after they are silent a moment too long for her liking.

Maria takes a deep breath looking to the ex-assassin, “Y/n missed the check in.”

The worry in Natasha’s gut quickly turns to panic, but she tries to remain calm. She can’t help if she can’t maintain control. “When?” her voice is tight. Her jaw clenched.

“Two nights ago,” Steve relents.

“Two nights?!” The Russian can’t control herself as the panic slips into anger, “What do you mean two nights ago?! Why haven’t you done anything?! Why am I just now hearing this?!”

“They had an exchange with the tracksuits the night before last. They were to check in immediately following,” Maria quickly informs her. “There was a possibility the exchange would lead to further interaction with the group. Clint checked in after and confirmed Y/n got the progress with the group.”

“We should have heard from her last night,” Steve added, and the tone of his voice told Natasha all she needed to know.

Y/n has gone dark.

“What about Clint?” she asks quickly.

Maria turns, “we’re trying to reach out now. We’ve been waiting for him to contact us back.”

 “Is he not with her?”

Steve shakes his head, “he said they only agreed to work with her.”

Nat’s stomach drops somehow further than it already had. Immediately thoughts start spiraling in her head.

Clint hates y/n. Is he telling the truth? How much can they trust him? He threatened her. Was he really capable of leaving her in a dangerous position? He hurt her. Could he have put her in harm’s way on purpose?

Is that damn secret gonna cost her and Wanda the love of their lives?

TWO NIGHTS EARLIER

The warehouse is empty when you arrive, as always.

Clint parks, but neither of you exit the car. This could be the last chance to talk before this mission takes a serious turn for you.

“Are you sure?” he asks again. He’s hoping you’ll say no. That this exchange will be just like all the others. They will come, take the shipment and then leave the two of you to make your way back to base together.

“Yes,” you nod. “It’s the in we’ve been waiting for.”

He sighs, “I still say we should wire you.”

This….. again….

“We’ve been working with them for almost six months,” you parrot the same debate you’ve been going through for the past two days. “They’re barely starting to trust us. They’re gonna check for things like a wire. They’re too paranoid not to.”

The archer shakes his head. He hates the plan but knows there is nothing he can do to change it. “You have got to be careful,” he faces you directly, “I won’t be in there to cover your six. Get the information you can and get out as fast as possible. My phone will be in my hands at all times, but don’t try to reach out unless you know you’re alone. Once you’re out, call me. I will meet you whenever and wherever I need to, ok?”

For the first time in months, you look into his eyes and see your friend staring back at you. The guy he’d been before he questioned your involvement with your girlfriends. “Thanks,” you say, actually trusting the words he said to you.

“Let’s get this over with and go home,” he half smiles.

The flash of headlights grab your attention, signaling the arrival of the tracksuits. The two of you exit the car as the three vehicles come to a stop before you. The men start emerging from the cars, and you are met with the usual crew. The last to exit the car is Kazi. The boss’s #2, and the one you were leaving with tonight.

“Long time, no see,” Clint quips as he opens the trunk of the SUV revealing the crates of the substance you are particularly familiar with after months and months of study and handling.

Kazi’s men begin checking the shipment before loading it into their vehicles. The young man in charge approaches you, “I hear you have an answer for me.”

“What’s in it for me?” you bargain, knowing a blind acceptance is suspicious to men who only give when they take first.

Kazi’s lips curl into an amused smirk, “I think you’ll find you’ve been well compensated.” He nods in the direction of Clint and his men.

Once all the goods were transferred, one of their guys pass your partner a large envelope, like they always do at the end of your exchanges. Clint opens and counts the bills, quickly realizing there was more than was typically provided in their previous transactions. The archer looks up to you and nods.

“…and there’s more where that comes from if the boss is impressed.”

You lock eyes with Clint one last time. This is the point of no return. You will officially be on your own. You nod at him, before turning back to Kazi, “well what are we waiting for?”

“Alright,” he grins. He turns towards his car, raising an arm in a silent invitation. Kazi’s guys load into the other two cars and drive off. When you reach the car, he quickly opens the passenger side door for you. You sit down and buckle up as he closes the door and rounds the car.

Clint watches the two of you sit in the car before pulling away to follow the others. Once he can no longer see the taillights, he climbs into the SUV quickly pulling out his phone to check in with the Hill.

~She was carried up

into the clouds high above~

The car ride across town was comfortable enough. Conversation flows pretty easily between you and Kazi. You listen to him explain a little bit about the power structure of the group. He quickly names and describes a handful of the people you were going to meet and work with. He cracks jokes and spills a little bit of gossip amongst the group.

He actually doesn’t seem like that bad of a guy, you think to yourself. You could actually see yourself hanging out with him, if only he wasn’t a criminal.

Eventually he pulls into a parking garage beside what used to be a KB Toy Store. Its only a couple blocks from the abandoned office building you have called home for the past six months. You file that information away, just incase you need to hide quickly.

You exit the car and follow Kazi as he walks to a door on the adjacent wall. They’re steel double doors with large windows in the top half of the door. The view inside is blocked however with several layers of what looks like newspapers.

He stops in front of the door, turning to face you. “I gotta check you first,” he waits for just a moment before elaborating, “can never be too careful.” He chuckles in a way that you know you have no chance of refusing.

Lifting your arms in compliance, “by all means, check away.”

He quickly pats you down quickly until his hand lands on the hand gun strapped to your hip hidden beneath your jacket. He quickly lifts an eyebrow.

You cheekily lift one as well, “can never be too careful.” You smirk, trying to act smug to hide the pounding of your heart.

After a moment, Kazi breaks out a satisfied smile, “boss is gonna love you.” He turns back to the door, knocking three times, pausing for a second, knocking twice, pausing, then knocking three times again. After the sequence, he steps back, and the door is pushed open from the inside.

Kazi leads you through the door and immediately a guy is on you, beginning to pat you down. Kazi holds up his hand, “I already checked her.” He grabs the guys arm and shoves him off you, “she’s clean.”

“Except for the piece on her hip,” a booming voice echoes against the walls. You turn in the direction of the sound and see probably the biggest man you’ve ever seen (with the exception of the hulk) approaching you. You recognize him immediately. Its Fisk, aka Kingpin.

The younger man beside you huffs in amusement, “tell him what you told me.”

“New York’s a big city,” you state confidently, relying on the adrenaline to keep you going, “a girl can never be too careful.”

Fisk cracks smile, “fair enough. Name?”

“Unimportant,” you try to brush off the question.

He fixes you with a stare, “we use names here.”

You suddenly feel rather small under his gaze, “Y/M/N.” Not your official real name that you use, but close enough to not be a lie that could be easily forgotten.

He nods over his shoulder, “right this way, Y/M/N.” He leads you through a short entrance way that you can easily identify as the abandoned toy store. After a moment, you enter a larger room, that looks like a thrift store’s version of a chemistry lab. Tables are covered in tools, test tubes, and large containers of different substances. A wide array of materials, chemicals, powders, unidentifiable liquids and gel like substances. You quickly recognize a few. The one you have provided for the past six months, and others that you learned were often combined with it.

Several men are working meticulously measuring, combining, observing the different ratios as they try to create something. What they are trying to create, you have no idea. They pour over pages and pages of notes.

Kingpin holds up a page that lists detailed instructions for a certain combination of the materials you see scattered about the counters. “This is what we’re wanting,” he offers you the sheet for you to examine more closely, “but these idiots can’t seem to work it out. The subjects don’t survive the first 5 minutes of the transformation.”

At his critique, the men working in the “lab” look up in clear worry.

“Your reputation precedes you,” he taps you lightly on the back, “I hear you’re something of an expert in this area. Maybe you can show this crew how its done?”

You are far from the expert he’s described, but right now, you need to be. Quite literally, your life may depend on it. You may not be an expert, but you have learned quite a lot over the past six months. Enough so that as you glance over the notes quickly, you can almost instantly know what you’re looking at.

It’s a formula for a serum, specifically a very early, rudimentary version of the super soldier serum.

You had become very familiar with it, while studying the component that you have been supplying. Wherever they found these notes, must have been very outdated. This formula didn’t work. A few of the ingredients had later been replaced for better alternatives, some had been dropped altogether because they were not necessary for the serum’s effectiveness.

The biggest problem with this particular formula was that none of the subjects survived. With the perfect ratio, the subject would gain the strength and endurance of a super soldier, but due to unforeseen side effects, it had a very short shelf life. Usually within the following 24 hours, the subject would suddenly seize and eventually succumbing the side effects of the serum.

That’s why they can’t figure it out. The formula was just simply flawed beyond repair.

In an instant, your blood turns cold. The only way out of this building for you is to successfully manufacture the drug. If you did that, who knows how many innocent people will be at risk. Fortunately, quick thinking grants you the best plan of action.

Fix the formula just enough so its successful for a very short amount of time. You don’t need much, just enough to display the effects and get out before the serum kills the subject.

“Well, your problem is that these directions are almost over 100 years old,” you walk to one of the counters. Quickly grabbing a pen, you adjust the ratios, “this was one of the first attempts for the serum. They had to adjust the formula to make it successful.”

Once you are finished writing in the necessary changes, you fully enter the “lab” and begin gathering what you’ll need. The men, who had been working tirelessly, watch in shock as you confidently work circles around them.

This irritates Fisk beyond words, “start taking notes, idiots.” All of them hurriedly grab the closest pen and piece of paper available to them. Their focus then sets directly to you and every move you make.

The creating of the serum takes a few hours, requiring certain periods of heat and cold to activate different components. Once you’re finished, the sun has risen again. Neither you, the other men in the lab, or Kazi have slept at all during the process.

When Kingpin returns in the morning, you have a vial of the perfectly effective serum. You know you need to leave soon, but Fisk insists you stay through the first test.

They lead in a man with his mouth gagged. He is forcefully strapped to a chair for the injection. A part of you pities the man frantically trying to break out of confinement and as far away from your needle as possible. Then you remember, he’s a tracksuit, and the entire city depends on you getting out of here in time to gather the team for a strike.

Once you’ve injected the subject with the serum, it takes only a few seconds to fully work its magic. A small audience has gathered to observe the first trial of this new serum. He begins to thrash violently, even more so than when he was dragged into the room.

You all watch as his muscles swell, until the point a handful of the restraints burst under the force. It takes about 5 minutes for the initial effect to come to a stop, but then, he manages to break free of the restraints that remained like they were nothing. You turn your attention to the others in the room to gage their reactions.

Kingpin slightly smirked with victory. Kazi smiles at you, mentally congratulating himself for being the one to find exactly who they needed to make it work. The other lab workers stare awestruck that in a few hours you had accomplished what they have tried to for the better part of a year.

“Well done,” Fisk is impressed and anxious. He finally has what he needs to push is plan of city wide domination. “Put the formula in writing for our guys, and you are free to go.”

Instantly you do as your told. This new super soldier is a ticking time bomb, and you need to be far away when it explodes. After answering a few questions from the lab workers, you make your exit. Kazi stops you, asking if you need a ride somewhere. When you say that won’t be necessary, his face drops much like a kicked puppy.

…maybe Clint was right. You do have an admirer.

The moment you step foot outside of that store, you walk quickly in the direction of your base. You wait until you are a block away before pulling out your phone and call Clint.

Before he can even say hello, you interrupt him.

“Super Soldier Serum,” you say as soon as he picks up the phone.

“What?” he asks as he watches you walking further away from the building.

“That’s what they’re trying to make,” you continue, “the super soldier serum. They’ve accrued enough materials to inject over two thirds of their organization.”

When you round the corner, leaving Clint’s line of vision, he quickly makes his way down the building he was currently in, and he begins to make his way to meet you at the base. “With kind of man power…” he thinks out loud.

“They could level the city,” you finish the sentence for him. “I had to fix their formula-“

“You gave them the recipe?!”

You roll your eyes even though he can’t see you, “not exactly. I had to give them something to get out of there. I gave them one of the first, unsuccessful, instructions. The subjects won’t survive the next 24 hours.”

The archer can sense where this info goes to, “how long do we have?”

“Don’t know. Its different with each person,” you explain, “could be very late tonight or he could already be dead.”

Walking faster now, Clint feels a new level of urgency, “we need to get to the compound now.”

“and raid the store front. They’re already working on the next round of injections,” you warn, “They could inject a large number of them before they realize their poisoning themselves. At that point, they’ll be so pissed they won’t care what they do in the city.”

“Meet me at base.”

“A block and a half away,” you confirm, walking a little quicker desperate to get there now. So busy relaying the information, you don’t notice the two guys trailing you from across the street. Both are tracksuits; they sneak behind you waiting for their shot.

You’ve only just hung up the phone and turn down an alley to reach the back entrance of your building when a sharp pain pierces your abdomen. There’s no sound. No gunshot. No disturbance; nothing that should have stopped you on your way home. However, the next thing you know, you’re on the ground laying in a quickly growing pool of blood.

~If you’ve bled, I’ll bleed the same.~

“What’s wrong?” Wanda asks frantically entering the command room. All of the intense thoughts from everyone in the room had cut through any train of thought she had. Something is clearly happening, but the thoughts overlap and intertwine so much that she can’t make sense of any of it.

Nat turns to her girlfriend, “Y/n missed her check in two nights ago.”

The sokovian’s eyes go wide as she looks frantically between all three of them, waiting for more. “What?”

“She didn’t check in that night; there was a possibility that she wouldn’t. If she missed it, she was supposed to check in the next day, yesterday,” Maria quickly explains. “She didn’t.”

“and Clint?” the witch asks. One of the tings that worried her the most is that y/n was out there with him.

Steve responds, “we’re trying to reach out to him now. They were separated. He was supposed to check in after she got out sometime yesterday.”

“He hasn’t answered his damn phone,” Nat growls.

The four of them are in deep conversation, searching for any traffic cams or security cameras with in a five block radius. They’re so deep in conversation, the miss entirely the entrance of the very person they were trying to contact.

“Why aren’t they together?”

“Because I was sent to assemble back up,” a voice immediately sends their attention straight to the door. All of their eyes land on the archer.

A flurry of emotions race through Natasha and Wanda, fear, confusion, shock, panic, and lastly pure hot anger.

They haven’t seen him since that night at the bar, since they found out how he had hurt their girl. On sight, the betrayal and anger bubble to the surface. Wanda’s hands and eyes glow red unintentionally. Natasha immediately walks up to him.

The widow grabs his bicep the same way he had grabbed y/n. With everything in her, she swings him around to the closest wall. When his back hits the wall, he winces in pain.

The others are shocked still at Natasha’s violently angry outburst. “Hey Nat, cool it,” Steve attempts to deescalate the situation and break up the fight, but Clint holds out a hand, stopping him before he can really intervene.

“No, Cap,” he half groans, half whispers.

Natasha is not oblivious to the exchange. “No, cause you know you deserve it; is that what you did to y/n? Is that how you grabbed her?”

“Yes,” he admits to his friend’s face.

Natasha grabs him by the collar, pulling him away from the wall, just to slam him back into it, “how does that feel?” She only gives him two seconds to respond. When he doesn’t, she repeats the movement: pulling him away and shoving him back. “…and you deserve it. Don’t you? You deserve and she never did.”

Clint can only nod, “I do deserve it, but Nat this has to wait-“

She pushes him against the wall again, “Tell me, did you even give her a chance to defend herself before you started throwing her around?”

He has no words for his actions, no excuse. He sighs, “no.”

Natasha leans closer until she is in his face, “then why should I give you that curtesy?”

“Because Y/n needs us right now,” Clint states urgently.

She wants to keep going, wanted to punch him, give him a share of what he had inflicted on y/n, but at the sound of her name she pauses for a moment. She pushes off him, unwilling to risk y/n for her anger.

“Where is she?”

 “Hiding near our base. I had to leave her and come get the team,” he looks over each of them quickly. “We have to go raid the old KB Toy Store and get back to her as soon as we possibly can.”

Maris from the place she had been observing quietly, steps up and asks, “why the KB Toy Store?”

“The tracksuits are using it as their front. Y/n got in, and they’re trying to make the super soldier serum,” he locks eyes with Steve for a moment. “She had to help them to get out of there. She gave them a formula that lasts max 24 hours before it kills the soldier. He wants inject a large number of his men within the next few hours. We have to stop them, before they realize they’re dying and take it out on civilians.” Maria quickly jots down everything that he says, so she can begin to organize a team.

“Where is she?” Natasha hisses, “why didn’t you come back together?”

He opens his mouth to speak, but his voice hesitates to form words. “She told me to leave her and come back for her. She wouldn’t have made the trip.”

“Why?” its Wanda who asks this time. Her eyes have begun to fade, but her hands still glow bright red.

Clint looks between the two of them anxiously, “because she got hit. GSW to the abdomen.”

Once again, rage erupts in Natasha, “you left her out there?” She takes him by the shirt and throws him on the ground. Kneeling over him, she only gets a few good punches in before Steve is pulling her off of him.

Wanda steps between them, while Steve continues to hold back Natasha until she has calmed down as much is possible considering the current state of events.

Clint shakily raises to his feet, np sporting a split lip and an already swelling face, “she made me come back for help.”

“How can we believe you?” Wanda questions. He had hurt her before, in her mind, it is entirely possible he would do it again.

“Because she gave me this,” he reaches into his pocket and produces a necklace, but not just any necklace. He holds up y/n’s necklace with two rings hanging like charms on a bracelet, the one they had given her as a promise of her place in their hearts.

In an instant, the necklace is wrapped in red light, ripped from his grasp, and flies to Wanda’s outreached hand.

She hates the thought of him having this in his possession. It was meant to stay on y/n’s neck always until they present her with a ring of her own.

“This doesn’t prove anything,” Wanda says through gritted teeth.

The archer sighs, wondering what it will take for them to listen and heed his warnings. An idea come to mind, “read my mind, Wanda. See the memory for yourself. If that will convince you that we need to move fast.”

Wanda closes the distance between them, and she wants to use her powers to throw him against the wall as Nat did. But she wants y/n home and safe more. Raising a hand, she taps the side of his head. She slips with him deep into his subconscious and more specifically, the memory in question.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Clint never heard a gun shot. He just rounded the corner to find Y/n on the ground rapidly losing blood.

“Y/n?” he runs over quickly. When he kneels down and sees you’re awake enough to talk to him, he feels a moment of relief, but only briefly. Taking in the blood loss, he knows you need help immediately, “its ok, y/n. You’re gonna be ok. I’m gonna get you out of here.”

He quickly does his best stop the flow of blood. He rips the bottom of your shirt to pack the wound, and another longer strip he wraps all the way around your stomach to keep as much pressure on the wound as possible.

Even despite the blood loss, you have enough cognitive function to think clearly about the situation, “Clint, you gotta go.”

“We will, give me one more second, then we’re on the move,” he continues to work on the improvised medical attention, frantically doing everything he can to get you well and stable enough to hurry across town.

“Clint, we’ll never make it,” you shake your head, “if this was Kingpin, he’ll have people, maybe even super soldiers all over the place canvasing the city searching for me. You need to go get back up and stop him before he succeeds.”

“No,” he shakes his head stubbornly, “I gotta get you back to Nat.”

“This is how you do that, Clint,” you try to reason, the clock is winding down. It may already have ran out. You try again, “I won’t make it across the city. I’m a breathing bread crumb trail that with lead them straight to you. You can come back for me.”

He halts his movements for a split second to look at you, “what would I even say to them? If I come back alone, they won’t believe me. They’ll think I left you for dead.”

You have to admit he has a point there. He needs proof. Something that will make them know to listen to what he has to say. With shaky hands covered in blood, you reach up to unclasp your necklace. Once its off, you clasp it again, and hold it out for him to take.

“Take this.”

“No,” Clint denies.

You don’t give in, “give it to them, they’ll listen if you have it.”

Tying one last knot in the make shift bandage, he’s almost ready to set you on your feet the best you could manage. “Give it to them yourself.”

“Clint please,” you beg with a despair in your voice that cracks his resolve, “I didn’t get to say goodbye.” Tears roll down your cheeks, suddenly facing a fear you never knew you had, “please, I can’t die, Clint. I can’t die without... I never got to say goodbye.” Your hand shakes as you hold up the necklace once more, “please. It’s the only chance I’ll see them again.”

He finally relents, taking the necklace from your grasp. He quickly looks around the alley, trying to fins a place that leaves at least somewhat hidden. He quickly lifts you and sits you beside the dumpster about five yards away. He finds the remnants of a cardboard box. Takin the larger pieces, he leans them over you and against the side of the dumpster. “Stay here,” he urges you, like there’s anywhere you could go. “This should keep you pretty hidden,” he says to you before placing the last piece over your face, “just incase they come back. Try to stay quiet and awake. We’ll come get you as soon as we can, I promise. Just stay with us.”

After that he covers your face, like he did with the rest of your body. Clint stands quickly reaching for his phone so he can call for backup, but he can’t seem to find it. He takes off down the alley without it. He doesn’t have time to look for it.

Y/n doesn’t have time for him to look for it.

Dodging the tracksuits while traveling across the city, proved to be much harder than Clint had anticipated. Several times, he had to hide low for a while, until the person moved on. All in all, it’s the next morning by the time he runs the compound doors.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wanda exits Clint’s memories and is thrusted back into the present. Immediately, her face crumples, and she buries it in her hands. She pivots falls back into Natasha’s embrace.

~If you’re scared, I’m on my way.~

No one needs to ask what that means. Everyone knows that Clint must be telling the truth.

“We have to go,” Wanda lifts her head, “We have to go now.” Natasha nods, pulling the younger woman close to her again.

A brief lock of eyes between Natasha and Steve is what finally tips the ball into rolling. The super soldier immediately sends out an urgent message announcing an emergency mission. Everyone is to suit up immediately and report to the command room right away.

Natasha and Wanda are the first to make it to the command, wanting no needing to be out there right now. Clint is a close second.

When he enters, the couple were staring at a monitor. A video clip plays on repeat. It’s a bit below average in quality, but they don’t care. They watch you exit the front and walk down the sidewalk until you walk out of frame.

 They barely spare the archer a glance, before turning back to the video.

“I’m sure you don’t want anything to do with me, and I totally get that,” he pauses briefly as he formulates his next sentence in his head, “I just need to say I’m so-“

“You can apologize after we save her, and not a moment before,” Natasha cocks an eyebrow. Clint has come to know that facial expression well over the years, but never has it been directed at him. “Understood?”

He nods in solemn confirmation. They wait for the rest of the team, filled with anxious nerves and deathly silence.

Around 10 minutes later, the entire team is in the command room. Steve explains briefly the rolls for each person. You were splitting into groups, each group going after their respective objectives.

The vast majority of the group will be raiding KB Toy Store.

While Natasha, Wanda, and Clint will be on the second objective:  locate Y/n and get her back to the compound as fast as possible. Wanda and Nat were assigned this group for the obvious reasons. Clint was chosen solely because he knows where he hid her. Not to mention that he volunteered himself for this team.

They take a helicopter across the city to avoid the delay of New York traffic. They landed on the rooftop of a building equal distance from KB Toy Store and where Clint left y/n. Everyone pours out and runs to do what they need to, knowing how time sensitive the whole situation is.

~Did you run away?

Did you run away? I don’t need to know.~

Clint leads Natasha and Wanda to the alley behind base.

When they turned down the alley, neither of them saw y/n, but they did see the rather large blood mark that still stains the concrete below. Sensing their panic, “Its ok, I moved her.”

The three of them run to the far side of the dumpster only to be met with several pieces of cardboard with some blood stains.

“I left her right here!” the archer exclaims. He told her to stay put, that he was coming back. A nagging feeling in the bag of his throat suggests that maybe she was picked up. However, they have no clues as to who would have done that. It could be anybody, the tracksuits, an ambulance, some other random stranger that just happened across a pretty helpless woman.

Wanda takes a deep breath trying to remain as calm as possible, even when it feels like her world is crumbling in front of her eyes. “I can’t feel her,” she’s unable to hear y/n’s thoughts.

“She might be unconscious,” Natasha reassures Wanda and honestly herself too. The widow is in deep contemplation of where y/n may have gone. “How far could she have gone if she left on her own?” Nat asks.

Clint shakes his head slightly, “not very far. I had to carry her from here to there,” pointing between the large blood stain and the side of the dumpster.

“So we start close and work our way out,” the widow takes a look at the surrounding buildings, “is she familiar with any buildings in this area?”

“Yeah, this building is our base,” he nods in the direction of the base. “but I doubt she could manage to get herself in there in the state she was in.”

“Have to start somewhere,” Nat tries to pull open the door, but is met with a resistance that will not budge.

“Wait,” Clint quickly comes up behind her holding a key, “we’re gonna need this.”

Nat takes a step back so he can get to the door, “does she have a key?”

“She does,” he turns the key and pulls the door open, “but I don’t know if it was on her person.

 Upon entering, Nat and Wanda understand why this is the place is a perfect base while undercover. It doesn’t look like anyone has been here in years and years.

“Ok there are 14 floors,” Clint states, “our set up is on the eighth. We’d probably get the best results if we split up”

“Agreed,” Nat nods. “So, here’s the plan. Clint, go to the top floor and work your way down. Wanda, start from the ground floor and work your way up. I’ll start at 5 and work my way up. Everyone ok with that plan?”

Wanda and Clint quickly agree, and the three of them scatter. Each going to their separate way to search for y/n.

The archer is intimately familiar with the building so he quickly clears the top floors, making it all the way to the eighth floor. Once there, he runs into their setup hoping y/n has somehow managed to get herself up there. Unfortunately, the room is empty. Still determined to find her, he sits at the desk and begins searching through the security feed of the building, hoping it can show him where she went.

Natasha floors 5, 6, and 7. As she sweeps through 8, she hears what sounds like the typing of a keyboard. She follows the sound to a set of double doors; one of which is propped open. She takes a deep breath before entering the room and aiming at the room’s occupant. All she finds is Clint sitting at a desk. Lowering her weapon, she relaxes a bit.

“Have you already checked every floor above us?” she asks. All she gets a nod in response. Quickly she does the math in her head. How had he cleared 6 floors while she had only made it through 3? “… and you’re positive she’s not up there?”

Clint doesn’t even turn his eyes from the computer screens, “Nat, I have lived in this building for the last 6 months. The floors are clear.”

The widow approaches the desk and peers over his shoulder. Her eyes go wide when she sees the security footage he is looking through. He has all angles of the building. If y/n was anywhere in the building, they should be able to  find her with the footage.

Wanda searches floors 1, 2, and 3 with no luck. She’s trying to move as fast as she can, while also being as thorough as possible. Its that thoroughness that keeps her from clearing the rooms as quickly as she likes.

Once she is certain the third floor is empty, she enters the stair well to move up to the fourth. She takes the first set of steps two at a time. When she turns to raise the next set of steps, she freezes mid-step, and stares.

“Y/n?”

At the top of the steps, you lay unconscious, leaning against the wall.

“Y/N!”

Immediately, Wanda flies up the stairs and drops next to you. She takes you into her arms. She cradles your head in one arm, while the other hand strokes your cheek. Your skin is ghostly pale, a clear sign of the amount of blood you’ve lost.

“Come on, detka,” Wanda calls to you, trying anything to wake you. She switches from stroking your cheek to patting it. “Please lyubov, wake up,” she desperately wants to see your eyes. “Open your eyes,” she tries to shake you awake, but your eyes remain closed, “Y/n please.”

Her voice waivers in terror. Pressing two fingers to the soft spot just below your jaw, she prays to feel a pulse. For a moment, she feels nothing and fears the worst. “No please,” her lip quivers in anguish, “… please detka, no.”

Wanda presses harder, willing herself to find it, and she does. Its weak and frighteningly slow, but its there. She’ll take it. She immediately raises her hand to press the com in her ear, “I found her! I’ve got her. We’re in the stairwell between the third and fourth floor, far east side of the building.”

On the eighth floor, Nat and Clint jump up from the desk, sprinting out of the room. “Is she…” the widow can’t bring herself to finish the question.

“She’s alive,” Wanda answers, not needing words to know what Nat meant. “She’s unconscious and nonresponsive, but she has a pulse,” Wanda looks up from your face to look towards the door she believes they will come through, “she needs medical attention now.”

“Get her to the chopper,” Steve’s voice rings through the com, “and take her to the compound.”

She shakes her head, even though no one can see her, “I don’t think she’ll make it to the chopper-“

“Wanda?”

Your girlfriend’s attention snaps down to you. She had been so busy trying to communicate with the others, she had missed you opening your eyes and staring up at her. Tears of relief flood her face, and she smiles down at you, “hi detka.” She cups your cheek gently stroking it with her thumb.

Leaning ever so softly into her touch, you try to return her smile, “I love you.”

A happy laugh falls from her lips, “I love you too.” She leans down to press her lips to yours for the first time in many months. Her lips are soft against your dry, chapped ones, but it’s still the best feeling you’ve had since the beginning of the mission.

She pulls back to look at you again.

“Which stairwell?” Nat’s voice pops into her ear, bringing Wanda back into the moment.

“There’s three on that side of the building,” Clint elaborates.

The witch brings her hand back to her com, “the northeast corner. She’s awake; she’s talking.”

“Nat?” you ask weakly.

“She’s here,” Wanda nods down at you, “Nat’s coming; she’s on her way.” She never released her com, so the team can hear her reassure you.

As she continues running through the building, Nat has an idea, “Wanda, give her your com.” The sokovian smiles to herself, knowing what Natasha is wanting to do.

You watch her rip the tech out of her ear and transfer it to yours. She holds the button, so they can hear you just as much as you can hear them. There’s only silence for a moment, then Nat’s voice fills your ears.

“Detka?”

It’s only one simple word, but it brings tears of joy to your eyes, “Natasha?”

“Hi lyubov,” you can hear the smile in her voice, despite her rapid breathing from running, “I’m almost there, love. I’m coming.”

“I love you,” you whisper, as the tears spill from the corner of your eyes.

“I love you too,” she immediately repeats back to you, “just hang on a little longer for me. We’re gonna get you out of here. Ok? You’re gonna be ok, just hang on.” Her voice is laced with urgency.

“Ok,” you promise.

 There is more talking. Something about someone leaving the raid, to take you back to the compound immediately. You can barely make it out as your awareness begins to slip again.

Your eyelids are heavy, and despite your effort they begin to droop. Wanda notices this and begins shaking you again, “stay awake detka. I need you to stay awake right now.” You can only nod, as she gently strokes your colorless cheek.

The door to the stairwell flies open.

Natasha barrels through it, with Clint close behind. Wanda smiles up at her in clear relief to be with you again. Without pause, the widow falls to the floor next to you on the opposite side of Wanda. Her hands cradle your face, and her smile beams down at you, “Hey lyubov.”

“Hi.”

“If you ever leave without saying goodbye again, you are in so much trouble,” Nat playfully scolds you.

“I’m sorry,” you whimper at the pain you must have caused them.

They both shake their heads firmly. “Shhhhh,” Natasha leans forward to press a long kiss to your forehead.

From the doorway, Clint watches the reunion. A clear display of how wrong he has read the situation for the past year.

Natasha rests her forehead against yours, relishing your presence. Wanda pulls both of your heads close to her chest. They cling to you, like you might disappear if they don’t hold you tight enough. Not that you were complaining at all.

“Hey love birds.”

Wanda and Nat break from the embrace to face the door.

Tony now stands in the doorway behind Clint with only his face not covered by his suit, “I heard someone needed a lift.”

The two women look back down at you. “Tony’s gonna fly you to the compound,” Nat lightly scratches your scalp.

“We’re right behind you,” Wanda promises. You nod in confirmation. You don’t really want to separate from them right now, but you know that you can’t delay treatment any longer.

Natasha leans down to kiss you. She nestles her face in your neck briefly, trying to soak up as much you as she can before you part again. Once she leans back, Wanda takes her place. She whispers sweet nothings in your ear, then brings her lips to yours.

After they’ve said goodbye, they help Tony gather you in his arms. He lifts up and begins flying to the nearest exit. Once you’re outside, he rises and propels the two of you through the air.

“So, please tell me,” he says as you travel above the city, “exactly how did you manage to land not one, but two hot women? What’s your secret? …asking for a friend, of course.”

You chuckle despite your current condition, “I think I’ll ask Pepper about this ‘friend’ of yours first.”

~If you ran away,

If you ran away, come back home.~

The room is quiet. The only sounds heard are your measured breaths and the beeping of your heart monitor.

Nat and Wanda have not left your bedside, since you all returned to the compound yesterday. You haven’t woken up since the surgery to remove the bullet fragments in your abdomen. Cho has assured them that you are stable and expected to make a full recovery. All you needed now was rest while your body mended itself back together.

Wanda sits near your head. One hand holds yours close to her chest, while the other delicately strokes your face. After two blood transfusions and an iv for rehydration, your skin is full of color once again. Your cold, chapped lips are now soft and full. The change is comforting to both of your girlfriends. The y/n they know slowly returning to them.

Natasha is resting in a seat on your other side. She rests an elbow on your bed, propping up her head. Her other hand firmly grips yours on the bed. She’s fighting to keep her eyes open. The adrenaline has faded and exhaustion of not only the day before, but also the constant worry of the past six months finally catches up to her. Her eyes close despite her best effort.

They sit like that and wait and wait for you to wake up once again.

A soft knock on the door pulls Wanda’s attention from you. Natasha however has managed to doze off. Steve enters carrying two plates with a sandwich and some carrots on each.

“I brought you guys something to eat, when you’re up for it,” he sets the plates on the small side table near the end of your bed.

“Thank you,” Wanda smiles appreciatively.

Steve nods, “any changes?”

The sokovian deflates slightly, “not yet. Cho said it should be any time now.” She looks over your face, “just up to her now.”

He nods. He’s glad to have you back. The change in Wanda and Natasha is tangible. Your presence beginning to return them to their normal selves. He knows the moment you’re awake and well, they will finally be ok again.

“We got them,” he says, remembering part of the reason he ventured in here. “The tracksuits,” he continues, “we took them down before they were able to inject any others with the serum. Thanks to her.” He nods in your direction.

Wanda smiles proudly, “she’s pretty great right?” The super soldier agrees with a smile. “… though I may be a little partial,” she playfully adds.

“Rightfully so,” he takes one last glance at you, “keep me posted about any updates. Also, let me know if you need anything.”

“We will,” she smiles, “thank you, Steve.”

With one last nod, he slips from the room. Leaving the three of you in silence again.

Wanda’s attention returns to you. She hums softly and her fingers find their way to your cheek again.

Another hour passes in this way. You and Natasha both sleep, while Wanda memorizes every one of your features.

She’s so deep in thought, that she thinks she imagined it when your brow furrowed slightly. She continues watching as you lay still again. When your eyelids begin to flutter, she knows she didn’t imagine it.

“Natasha,” she reaches over to wake her.

The Russian startles awake. She lifts her head, looking at Wanda, then following her gaze to you just in time to see your eyes flutter open. “Lyubov,” she stands quickly to lean over you.

You blink against the harsh light as your eyes adjust. You are faintly aware of someone calling your name as you slowly take in your surroundings.

“Y/n?”

Looking up, you find Wanda and Nat looking down at you in hopeful hesitation. Their smiles only grow when you fully lock eyes with them.

“Hi-“ you try to say, but your voice is so dry. You’re sent into a small coughing fit.

Almost instantly, Wanda produces a cup of water from somewhere. “Here,” she offers bringing a straw to your lips. You drink greedily, taking large mouthfuls until your throat is no longer burning.

“Thank you,” you rest back into the  bed, and a sharp stabbing sensations blooms on your stomach. You wince and try to lay as still as possible.

They notice this of course. “Are you in pain?” Natasha asks. When you nod, she reaches for the call button on the side of your bed.

A nurse quickly enters the room.

“She’s hurting, can you give her anything?”

The nurse nods, “I’ll be right back.” He then exits the room swiftly.

Once alone again, they turn back to you.

“The tracksuits?” you ask. You need to know that the danger has been neutralized.

“Gone,” Wanda smiles, “the team took them down before any more of them were injected. SHIELD confiscated all of their materials. Its all locked away. Everything has been taken care of.”

You nod gratefully, but worry and guilt stirs within you, “I didn’t want to help them.” You look between them, hoping they will believe you, “I had to give them something, but I didn’t want to-“

“Hey, hey,” Natasha hushes you, “its ok, you did the right thing. You bought us time to take them down.”

Wanda quickly jumps on the end of Nat’s words, “the mission was a success, and that’s all because of you.” They gently soothe you until your worries are squashed.

They’ve finally calmed you down when there’s a knock at the door. You all look up to see Yelena smiling in the doorway.

“Hey, you’re awake,” she enters and stops at the foot of your bed, “how are you feeling?”

You tilt a bit, “well I’ve been better.”

The blonde nods with a smile, “yeah, I bet.”

There’s a moment of silence, and the energy in the room feels awkward. No one quite knowing what to say. This is the most Yelena has spoken to you in you can’t remember how long. Her friendly tone throws you off a bit, but it is a welcome change.

“I need to apologize,” Yelena finally breaks the silence. By her face and tone, you can tell that she knows about your relationship. Her guilt is clear on her face.

“Its ok-“ you try to say, but she cuts you off.

“No, its not,” she stands resolute, “I never should have treated you that way. You didn’t do anything wrong. It was so uncool of me to assume the worst without knowing the whole story.” As she speaks, you can feel the sincerity of her words, “you were my friend, you deserved better than that. I know I don’t deserve it, but I would like to be your friend again, someday.”

You smile. This is the Yelena you have missed since she became suspicious of you. “Is this the part where you give me the shovel talk? ‘You better not hurt my sister or else!’?”

The blonde looks between her sister and Wanda, “I’ve been told I used up all of my protective sister speeches.” She pauses for a moment, “… plus, I trust you not to hurt her.”

Her words hit you straight to your heart. Emotion starts to gather in your eyes; you lightly squeeze Nat’s hand prompting her to bring yours to her lips. She leaves a tender kiss on the back of your hand.

Yelena takes this as her cue to leave you three to each other. “I’ll get out of here, so you can rest,” she smiles to each of you, “if you need anything, you know where to find me.”

“Thank you, Yelena,” you say. She gives you one last half smile before slipping back into the hallway.

Once alone again, you look up to them and sigh, “I missed you so much.”

“We missed you too,” Wanda leans down to kiss you lightly, “more than you know.”

Natasha then leans up to press her lips to yours. She’s happy not only that you’re home, but you’ll also be treated the way you deserved to be from the beginning.

“Am I interrupting?” a familiar voice asks from the doorway.

“Yes,” Natasha grumbles and breaks the kiss to acknowledge the new visitor.

 The three of you find Clint standing awkwardly with flowers in his hands, but you don’t notice those. You are too preoccupied by his appearance. His face is all beat up. A busted lip, swollen eye, and a litany of bruises adorn his face.

“Woah, what happened to you?” you ask. None of those injuries had been there the last time you saw Clint, when he hid you beside the dumpster. You know he had been there when they found you, but you never saw him, too concerned reuniting with your girlfriends and trying to maintain consciousness.

“Nothing I didn’t deserve.”

He steps into the room. “These are for you,” he places the flowers on the side table next to two plates of food you are just noticing for the first time. Were those for Nat and Wanda? When was the last time they ate?

He then stands looking between the three of you. Wanda and Natasha are very much still angry with him. They barely spare him a glance. Natasha specifically fighting to keep her hands to herself.

“I want to apologize,” he starts, “to all of you. I’m sorry for dragging Y/n on that mission, for all that time you suffered being apart. Nat, I’m sorry I didn’t just come to you and ask what was going on. Y/n, I’m especially sorry for lashing out at you. That night in the hallway…”

At the mention of the incident, both Wanda and Nat snap their focus on him. Their need to protect you pushing itself right to the front of their brains.

“… it was uncalled for,” he finishes, “and way out of line. I don’t expect or deserve your forgiveness, but if there is anything I can ever do to make up for some of the suffering I’ve caused, I will do it without question.” Your girlfriends don’t say anything; they just return their attention to you.

“Just you wait,” you break the silence, “once I’m cleared, we’re gonna spar, and I will not be pulling my punches.” Despite the anger they still feel, your remark brings an amused smirk to their faces.

Clint chuckles lightly, “I think that’s more than fair.”

Just then the nurse finally returns with the medication to help with your pain.

“I’m gonna step out,” the archer says, “I’ll see you around.” Without anything further, he exits the room.

The nurse approaches the side of your bed, and Natasha steps back to give him room to work. “Alright Agent Y/L/N,” he adjusts your iv and begins to push the medication into the line, “this should help with your pain. It has a sedative effect, so any drowsiness is completely normal.”

You nod as you feel the effects of the drug throughout your body.

Once he is finished, he resets your iv with fluids, gathers the discarded vial of medication and makes his exit, “if you need anything, just press the call button.” With that he is gone.

Your girlfriends settle back beside you like they were when you were asleep. Nat runs her fingers through you hair, while Wanda takes your hand between both of hers. You relax back into the bed as the medication fully sets in. Your side no longer hurts, and your brain feels a bit fuzzy.

Your thumb runs across a ring on Wanda’s finger, and she is reminded of the item in her pocket.

“I have something for you,” she says softly, reaching into her pocket. You furrow your brow curiously. When she holds up the necklace with their rings, you can only smile. She reaches around your head to put it back in its place, and you lift your head to give her more room. “There,” she says once it is secured around your neck.

Nat reaches and adjusts the rings until they are centered on your chest. She fixes you with a stare, “if you ever take it off again, you’re sleeping on the couch.”

A genuine laugh bubbles up your throat, “I won’t.” Your eyes feel heavy once again. The longer the drug is in you, the more it works its magic.

“Sleep,” the widow urges you, “you need it to heal.”

“We’ll be here when you wake up,” Wanda promises, “sleep now.”

Unable to fight the drowsiness, you relent, “ok.” Though you catch sight of something, right before you can close your eyes, “will you do me a favor?”

“Anything detka,” they agree before you even ask.

You smile cheekily, “eat those sandwiches before I wake up again.”

Now, they are the ones laughing. Nat rolls her eyes but agrees, “ok.” She resumes playing with your hair, while Wanda hums quietly again.

 The combination quickly drifts you off to sleep again.

~Just come home.~

Learning Curve

Series Master List

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…so they keep telling me my taglist is too long, and I’m not allowed to tag that many people in a post, SO I’m gonna try to tag the rest in the comments. If you know a way around the 50 tag limit, let a sister know please 🙃

tag-list: @simp4nat @mostlymarvelsstuff @youralphawolf72 @originallovementality @an-evergreen-rose @mmmmokdok​ @localarcherwriter​ @boowhobabe​ @womenarehotsstuff​ @gay-trash-in-a-paperbag​ @lifeontop​ @wandamaximoff-simp​ @kaitlynroseb​ @diablloblood​ @ang3lmask​ @marvelwomen-simp​ @nightimemommy​ @smromanoff @nothisismax​ @splatasha-jumpinoff @natashaswifeu​ @nattyswidow​ @dumpaccdontmindme​ @natty-taffy​ @iliketozoneout​ @nowthisisliving27​ @theoowo @tvseries-writings​ @trikruismybitch​ @s1ut4nat @xinied @souanick @melatonindaydreamz @angel-of-snow @chailivi @lainjupi @gay-fandom-menace @trashbod @lonewalker17 @daenerys713 @tigerlillyruiz @winters-witch-bitch @wizardofstories​ @karmasgxrl​ @kyoka-jirou​ @m-r-nicely​ @marvelfan-2022 @its-just-greek @anonreader346 @justarandomreaderxoxo​ ​ @smallworld123 @finleyfray​ @maernys @loveshineslikethesky @peachesandhoneyb @danicarpediem @ministark @imthenatynat @bapplenana @alwaysgoodnight @oh-thats-cute @jowshuaayee

***if your url is not listed above or in the comments below and you would like to be added to the taglist, please go to the series master list and comment there. ​Its easier for me to have all the tag requests in one location. Thank you, y’all are the best 🥰

[astorytotellyourfriends]

2023 fic roundup

(last year's post)

completed:

1.01 need to make you mine (chrissy/eddie, rated m, 4k)

Everybody knows about what happens when you kiss someone at midnight on New Year's Eve, but Eddie's not exactly in his right mind when he kisses Chrissy.

1.02 hold me like you'll never let me go (chrissy/eddie, rated e, 17.8k)

Having the middle seat on a long flight is never easy, but having a handsome stranger next to you certainly makes it better.

1.14 just say i do (chrissy/eddie, rated t, 2.8k)

The day Eddie proposes starts out like any other normal Thursday.

1.15 you can have more than one (chrissy/eddie/steve, rated e, 7.6k)

She could play it off, just say she was thinking about nothing at all or make up some random thing to tell them. Or she could tell the truth and maybe get what she's been wanting, been craving.

1.15 always have & i always will (chrissy/eddie, rated t, 1.7k)

Even on days when the fog lifts, when the grief doesn't weigh his bones down so much that just breathing takes a herculean effort, the pain remains. An ache he can't escape. A phantom limb that he wishes he could get back more than anything else in the world.

1.18 under control ('til you're in front of me) (chrissy/eddie, rated e, 8.1k)

The day they've both been waiting for is finally here.

1.29 in my defense (i have none) (chrissy/eddie, rated t, 6.6k)

Lucas and Dustin hatch a plan to help Eddie ask Chrissy to the spring formal ... but they're never gonna get anywhere if Eddie doesn't actually try.

2.05 the trigger (chrissy/eddie, rated e,  2.4k)

Eddie knows that fucking smell. He'd know it anywhere.

2.09 maybe next time (chrissy/eddie, rated m, 2.5k)

All Callahan wants on his night off is a little peace and quiet, but instead he finds Eddie and Chrissy.

2.14 something else when i see you (chrissy/eddie, rated m, 4.1k)

On the red carpet for the Golden Globes, there's no telling what might happen.

2.15 in plain sight (chrissy/eddie, rated t, 11.1k)

Chrissy and Eddie meet in a random Omegle chat one night over winter break and hit it off, but neither of them are comfortable giving out their public Twitters, so instead they make private ones just for the two of them. Five months later, they're still chatting every night and have no idea they go to the same school... until prom rolls around.

2.16 oh, but you're good to me, baby (chrissy/eddie, rated e, 4.5k)

Chrissy's just helping Eddie study, it's not a date. As long as he keeps telling himself it's not a date, he'll be fine.

2.28 if we don't leave this town (we might n ever make it out) (chrissy/eddie, rated e, 52.3k)

Chrissy finally finds the strength to leave a terrible situation, only for her getaway car to break down just over the Illinois border. Now she's stranded, as well as broke, and has to rely on the kindness of strangers. The mysterious mechanic who takes pity on her may look mean and scary with his wild hair, calloused hands, and grease stains, but Chrissy quickly discovers that underneath all of that, he may as well be a teddy bear.

3.21 just the thing (chrissy/eddie, rated t, 3.2k)

They were alive, they'd made it. Eddie wouldn't have called them friends before that, not really, but the way Steve clung to him that night made Eddie rethink a lot of things he thought he knew about Steve Harrington.

4.05 gentlemen don't ask questions (chrissy/eddie, rated e, 15k)

The first time Eddie runs into Chrissy at a metal show, he thinks he must be seeing things.

4.06 if you go down, i'm goin' down too (chrissy/eddie, rated e, 1.5k)

cunnninghams asked: because i’ve wanted to write it but i’m too lazy — hellcheer getting either drunk and/or stoned and having a competition of who can go the longest without touching the other. 😇

4.14 imagine being loved by me (chrissy/eddie, rated e, 7.6k)

She could play innocent. She could just forget all about it. Or she could stay right where she is and watch.

4.24 i think you have a type (and it's not me) (chrissy/eddie, rated m, 33.4k)

Eddie tries to help Steve woo Chrissy, even though he's been in love with her since they were kids. or ... a HellCheer Cyrano de Bergerac AU.

5.01 play me better (chrissy/eddie, rated e, 15.5k)

Chrissy wants to get better at talking about sex, and Tammy knows just the person to help.

5.10 roll for orgasms (chrissy/eddie, rated e, 17.8k)

"So… the dice do everything?" / Eddie laughs. "Yeah, kinda. I mean, they decide everything, more or less."

5.17 savor the moment (chrissy/eddie, rated e, 1.9k)

I can't wait to memorize this day / Oh, a picture could not contain the way it feels

5.20 the dark caress (chrissy/eddie, rated e, 2k)

Chrissy can't sleep until she gets what she needs.

6.08 you know better, babe (chrissy/eddie, rated e, 36.7k)

Chrissy moves to Hawkins just after her sixteenth birthday, having only ever kissed one boy. Before school even starts she falls head over heels for Eddie, who falls just as hard but he has some reservations about their relationship.

6.29 she's gonna save me (chrissy/eddie, rated e, 12.3k)

Eddie can think of a billion things he'd rather be doing than spending his Saturday night in the emergency room, but after meeting Chrissy while they're waiting, that list quickly dwindles down to just one.

7.12 a better fighter than her fear (chrissy/eddie, rated e, 6.6k)

Chrissy takes refuge in the drama room while running away from her ex-boyfriend, thinking she'll just give him the slip and be able to go home in peace soon enough. But nothing ever goes according to plan.

7.21 you can buy love (from a payphone) (chrissy/eddie, rated e, 9.8k)

Calling up a phone sex hotline instead of finding some random stranger at a bar to go home with seems like a good idea when Eddie's struggling not to ask out Chrissy before she's ready for a new relationship, but he'll be damned before ever admitting it to his friends.

8.13 you still have my heart (chrissy/eddie, rated t, 3.1k)

Chrissy hates the night shift.

8.29 a tender age (chrissy/eddie), rated e, 16.2k)

There's no fanfare. No fireworks. No heavenly beacon of light shining down as soon as she opens her eyes. The morning of Chrissy's eighteenth birthday feels like every other morning before it, but she knows the moment she goes downstairs is the moment her life is going to change.

9.01 let me put my lips to something (chrissy/eddie, rated e, 9k)

Chrissy can't seem to find the nerve to tell Eddie that she wants more, so she hatches a plan to steal one of his porno mags for some research.

9.12 when we begin again (chrissy/eddie, rated g, 1.2k)

A few months past where If We Don't Leave This Town (We Might Never Make It Out) left off, Eddie surprises Chrissy with a gift.

9.13 the only proof that i need is you (chrissy/eddie, rated g, 2.1k)

Eddie is supposed to have a solo interview with Vogue but it turns into a family affair.

9.16 as i get older, i get more afraid (chrissy/eddie, rated e, 19.1k)

"Hello, Chrissy!" She pulls up a chair close to the examination table and taps Chrissy's chart. "What brings you in today?" / Chrissy draws in a deep breath. This is it, she thinks. Now or never. / "I want to have a baby."

10.10 livestream: stardew valley co-op! (chrissy/eddie, rated e, 5.2k)

Eddie has not one, not two, but three surprises for Chrissy on the day they play Stardew Valley live on stream, but two of them are for after the camera is turned off.

10.13 so pure, so electric (chrissy/eddie, rated e, 13.5k)

Chrissy's happy with Jason. Sure, things could be a little more exciting. They're in college, it's the perfect time to try new things! Learn new skills, meet all sorts of different people! They both should want these things, but it seems like only Chrissy's willing to (or, at the very least, wants to) actually try. But... she's happy with Jason, right?

10.19 be there in five (hyperbolically) (chrissy/eddie, rated e, 3.6k)

A perfectly normal conversation about Halloween costumes devolves into Eddie and Chrissy playing hooky. (They just can't help it.)

11.24 a king beside you, somehow (chrissy/eddie, rated e, 5.2k)

Chrissy finally convinces Eddie to come to a basketball game to see her cheer and rewards him handsomely afterwards in the girl's locker room.

12.15 before i bury you (chrissy/eddie, rated e, 43.5k)

When two counselors turn up dead at Camp Hawk and the camp leaders are forced to leave to get help from the police, it's up to the remaining counselors to try and keep both the campers and themselves alive.

12.24 never thought you'd happen to me (chrissy/eddie, rated t, 6.8k)

Eddie's watch beeps at the same time every day so he can be sure to catch a glimpse of his pink princess walking by the shop windows, none the wiser that she works right next door until one fateful day…

wips:

01.16 if the fates allow (chrissy/eddie, nancy/steve, rated e, 13.5k)

The best way to spend Christmas is 3000 miles away from home, right?

2.23 lost boys like me are free (chrissy/eddie, rated e, 16.2k)

Chrissy stows away on a pirate ship to reclaim the family heirlooms that Captain Eddie Munson stole from her, but she soon discovers that maybe going back home isn't what she wants at all.

09.04 i lied to you (but i never needed to) (chrissy/eddie, rated e, 18.3k)

After an accident that almost cost him his life, Eddie needs to heal a lot more than just his broken bones. He needs to face the demons he's been hiding from for years, keeping them at bay with drugs and alcohol. When Chrissy signs on to be his physical therapist, she knows from the get-go that this isn't going to be easy, but she's determined not to let Eddie give anything less than 100%. What neither of them expect is for Eddie to help her heal, too.

12.06 last night's clothes & tomorrow's dreams (chrissy/eddie, rated e, 27.9k)

Eddie's no stranger to the life of a rockstar and all that goes with it, including having his pick of pretty much any woman he wants for a night. Chrissy, on the other hand, has no idea what she's getting herself into when she joins her friend backstage at a Corroded Coffin gig.

12.19 love is just a currency (chrissy/eddie, rated e, 103k)

When she graduated high school, Chrissy Cunningham thought she knew how her life was going to turn out: college, marriage, the whole nine yards. But now it's five years later and nothing in her life went according to plan. Least of all running into Eddie Munson in a way she definitely never saw coming. or ... a HellCheer OnlyFans AU.

total fics: 43

total number of words: 608,877 (according to AO3 stats, but really it's 539,937 if i subtract the chapters of WIPs i posted in 2022)

going through the list this year made me realize just how much i'd actually posted!! thank you so much for supporting my silly little ideas through another year 💛 next year i hope to FINISH MY WIPS FOR REAL and maybe get a little better at balancing my schedule so none fall to the wayside like they did this year 🥲 but here's to another year in the books!!

[carmylasso]

out of the woods (jason sudeikis x reader)

summary: after your boss sets you up on a date with your longest celebrity crush, you were pretty sure that was as wild as your friday was gonna get...turns out you shouldn't be tempting fate.

warnings: anxious thoughts, smutty inclinations, olivia.

a/n: so....i wrote the nanny thing? this is mostly fluffy and a lot self indulgent. obviously the kids are mentioned and will be making appearances in later parts, so if you feel uncomfortable with that, skip this one. 

hope you like it! (you can totally curse me for that ending. i know)

tagging some friends without who this would never see the light of the day @calzone-d @thisismysecondrodeo @tedssweaters

statistically speaking, you shouldn't be nervous: it's not like that's the first time you step into the house – by now you could probably say where everything is stored in that kitchen, or slid a joke over the fact that he's obviously organized the living room a bit before you came over tonight – or as if the man at the stove is a stranger by any means.

however, statistically speaking, the chances of you being here tonight, just you and jason, in a date, were never that great to begin with, so...

no, scratch that. up to 6 months ago, there was simply no starting scenario that ended up here, even if alexi never missed a chance to tease you about him whenever the man was brought up. one downside of being friends your boss, you figure. as the years passed, you gave up "hiding" your stupid, incurable celebrity crush on jason sudeikis, even around her and seth. it was harmless, after all. made your face warm with embarrassment when you overheard plans that included him being made? without a fault, but it usually granted you a night off if the man was coming to the house.

til they sat you down one morning to ask if you'd be interested in meeting his kids, seth's eyes gleaming with mischief as he held his hands together in a plea for you to not forget you loved their boys, who would miss you terribly if you sacked them for a hot, newly single comedian.

the three of you were laughing when you told him to kindly fuck the hell off.

except now jason's here, close enough to touch. he's here, and this feels like a whole lot more than flirty jokes late at night, more than stolen glances after a big award ceremony, his hair a mess, clothes askew. certainly more than the almost kiss that got you here in the first place, the feeling of his hand on the side of your neck as he said if he was gonna kiss you he'd do it properly still burning your skin days later. this is real, it's deliberate.

so fuck statistics, you're a mess.

"i need to tell you something" the voice brings you back to the moment, watching as he sets down a plate full of gooey cookies right by the glass of wine he poured you earlier "i'm a fraude. i actually can't bake to save my life" his face is full of guilt as he drops down on the fluffy carpet, the fabric of his trousers raising goosebumps on the exposed skin of your thighs. "if you said you wanted dinner, that i could work with. dessert...brought out the worst in me, i'm afraid" you're trying not to laugh at the man's proneness to the dramatics when he breaks one of the warm sweets in half, practically moaning around the first bite "worth it. so fucking worth it, yn"

"what did you do? these look amazing" it's chocolate ones, big and melting, your favorite kind.

"asked otis to take a pic of the box last time you got 'em from your favorite place"

"really?"

"i'm a terrible father, i know. in my defense, i did try making a batch before i resorted to cheating with help from my child, i promise you"

"jason! you didn't need to do that. we could have gone for ice-cream or something, that'd be just fine" the thought of him trying and failing to make you your favorite food was all too endearing, sweet and amusing to the same degree.

"you're picturing it right now, aren't you? it wasn't pretty, yn. smoke detectors went off, yet the things were still raw on the inside? i mean, how?" his body turned to you, knees bumping while your eyes trailed the way his long fingers broke bits and pieces of chocolate to bring it to his mouth. "these on the other hand..." you felt caught by the grin spreading over the man's face, so you took a bite too.

"fuck me!" the words rang in your ears a second too late to be taken back. if this wasn't the only thing that made it better somedays– you foresaw a long trip to john's in the near future, always one to drown your sorrows in sweets rather than the often sour taste of alcohol – you'd be cursing the place with more fervor right now.

"see, i had a feeling ice-cream wasn't gonna get me that" you felt yourself warm up when the guy winked at you, voice dropping an octave.

"i hate you" from the way he was still staring, he didn't believe your words for a second: sometimes it was good being a terrible liar, after all. "i'll have you know that the right ice-cream could get you this"

"really? where can i find it? for future reference, i mean"

"you'll be the first to know when i have it locked in. jury's still out" you snook in a little taste from different shops every time you had his babies, but he didn't need the details. if anyone was aware of how hard some days could be, it was him. the media frenzy seemed to get worse every week, not that you were keeping track (you definitely were. it was hard not to, harder once you got to know them)

"i'll be waiting"

was it possible to go through the whole spectrum of emotions in just a few hours? it had always been a silly type of question for you. you felt everything so deeply that switching up was never that easy, but, with some comedy playing on the tv, the nerves cursing through you were far different from the ones earlier: now, sprawled out on his carpet, the knowledge that jase was pressed up close didn't freak you out, it made you relaxed, even if were painfully aware of every little touch, every accidental nudge when laughter made his body shake, head resting on a Frozen themed pillow. you were surrounded by the man: the heat from his body, his scent, the way he pulled you back every time you started to drift away a few inches

you were almost drowning in him, yet all it seemed to do was make matters worse. you should've guessed it: if not for anything else, for the way your stupid heart picked up it's pace whenever you managed to make him laugh over the time you'd known him, the way every weird little thing you learned by being around seemed important. it would never be enough, not when it came to this man, would it?

"i...think i should go" before you got sucked in any deeper.

"wha' happened?" he sat up when you did, back pressed to the couch, eyebrows scrunching together as his mind played back the last couple hours. what had he done wrong? "yn. hey, what's it? was it me? did i do something?"

"no! jason, no. it's fine. you were wonderful" this felt all too easy, was the thing. nothing happened, you hadn't even kissed yet, but here you were, all in your head, getting carried away to some point in the future where this was some sort of routine to your days. stupid. it might feel easy, but it wasn't. it wouldn't be, not out of your naive fantasies, anyway. your phone was on top of the centerpiece, your purse hanging from the coat hack down the hall. good.

"you're running off like the house's on fire, sweetheart. i can't be that good" his laugh was humorless, his eyes earnest as he moved slowly, intertwining your fingers. "i'm sorry"

that did it. the way he was so quick to apologize for something that he didn't even know what was broke you.

"is it okay if i kiss you?" it wasn't much more than a whisper, all the bravado you had melting away when he didn't look away, nodding his head.

"only if you want to" this whole exchange was just short of giving you both whiplash, yet it was better do something insane than it was to just leave. if you kissed him, you would have that. even when he inevitably decided not to see you again. you would know what it felt like. "do you?" it felt like deja vu but it wasn't, his fingers caressing your cheek, the hold steady but gentle, like he knew you needed that point of contact as you brought yourself closer.

he tasted sweet, warm, the kiss tentative, each drag of your mouths together making a shiver run down your spine. for a moment it didn't go any further, then his lips parted a bit and you pushed yourself more into his space, tongue darting out as strong hands rumpled the material of your dress while yours pulled at the hair on the back of his head

one second you were awkwardly kneeling on the floor, trying to breathe and kiss and commit every second of this to memory, the next he was pulling you into him. onto him. like he wanted this as much you did, the scruff from a couple days without shaving causing you to moan into his ear whenever jason drew back to let you breathe, his mouth never leaving you, just diving down to your neck, your collarbone, any patch of skin he could reach without having to let you go before he came back up for more.

"off!" you're sure there's an ebb to be made about all those freaking layers but the one word is all you manage as you pull on the green hoodie he chose for the night, grinning when its out of your way, his sly smile morphing into something darker as you grind yourself into the man's lap, just a bit, seeking friction. he's hard under you, tense, like's he's trying to figure out how far he can take this tonight, how far you want him to. "jas..." whatever was about to follow that whisper of his name gets cut off by the harsh sound of his doorbell.

"fuck's sake" it's a deep groan, head flexing back to look at the ceiling, nervous laugh bubbling in your throat when his hold goes stronger for a second "a fucker, whoever that is. can you please get that?"

"gotta let me up first, sir" seems like a conscious effort to ease his grip, your legs a bit wobbly when you stand up, trying to reorient yourself with arousal burning deep in your veins.

if your knees were unsteady as you walked to the door, he didn't need to know.

"is jason home?" that voice is a like a bucket of icy water over your head, eyes blinking fast at the porch light glow illuminating harsh green eyes raking through you.

olivia. olivia is here. shit.

"yeah, he's..." she pushes you out of the way then, carrying a sleeping daisy in her arms through the hall, otis holding onto the back of her coat til he spots you.

"YN!" his voice is loud and excited, body crashing into yours in a tight grasp "did you know we were coming home?"

if only it was that simple, little guy.

[novastardoughnut]

theorising where Secret Life might go

so being that we are now a couple episodes in to Secret Life, I want to put a few thoughts out on the table as to where it might go and so i can look back on this in a few months to judge

now as of right now its really hard to tell in truth what will happen, to compare with other series right now we are in the light hearted jovial portion of the game with bad boy bread bridges, goat Horns, aha puns, and pranks gone wrong. it could go any way at this moment. if experience means anything I don't believe many new teams will form from this point on so as it stands Grian, bigB, Scar and Lizzie remain rogue agents without alliances (this is interesting as we havent had unaligned players for a while. the last one was scar in Last Life). i Expect that next session Jimmy will innevitably turn yellow alongside maybe a couple others being that he only has 1.5 hearts. I dont have high hopes for the big men being that both of them have lost a lot of hearts already. honestly Martyn strikes me right now as the most likely to break jimmy's curse simply by how risky he plays.

as of right now most players aren't gonna want to risk hard missions, the cost for loosing is too high right now. however as soon as someone (probably Martyn at this rate) turns red the desperation will start sinking in. i think if anyone is going to be the first person to go for a hard mission that will be martyn.

as it goes on the desperation to complete missions is going to become more feverish, I expect in later sessions when the red lives are out, the games madness will only worsen, going from an already bizzare absurdist piece to a wonderlandian nightmare everything and every one acting in such strange ways that it will become inescapable.

player trust and groupings will become interesting to say the least. all players will be willing to follow along someone's madness "Yes and"-ing theyre antics but also nobody will be able to trust any other actions believing them all to be a part of some elaborate absurd test

I also theorise this will become the longest life series second only to last life based solely on the numbers so far. a lot of players right now still have full hearts. and as long as they dont get too risky they could theorectically continue as is forever simply by doing tasks and regaining any hearts lost to enemies or fall damage. this is going to be offset a lot when Red Lives come out, however if they cant regain hearts its very possible for a red life to be overwhelmed by a group effort and taken out the game before the "endgame red madness". thus Red Lives retaining their alliances is going to become a vital aspect of the game because (at least in theory) red lives attempting head on attacks could end in them losing more hearts than the attempt will be worth. so Red kills will need to be done as traps, tricks or be done hard and fast.

[kalliyen]

Kids, Am I Right?

Pairing: Lee Heeseung x Female!Reader

Featuring: Lee Heeseung of Enhypen

Genre: College AU, Babysitters AU, Fluff

Reader’s Pronouns: She/Her

Warning: Mention of Children, some grammatical errors sorry about that

Disclaimer: ⚠️ ONLY FICTION, DO NOT TAKE SERIOUSLY

All Heeseung wanted to do for spring break was hang out with his friends at the arcade and sleep ‘till noon.

Because as a stressed out college student who studies IT? He barely gets any sleep, but let's be honest. What college student gets to sleep 8 hours everyday?

But no, he has to volunteer at a stupid kids daycare as 'punishment' because he passed one of his assignments a month past the due date.

And when his professor was lecturing him, he had the guts to say "Better late then never right, teach?"

He had to volunteer for 2 months.

When he told his college friends they all showed sympathy, but honestly this might teach Heeseung a lesson.

Entering previously mentioned daycare, Heeseung was already looking forward to the end of his punishment.

Seriously, he saw kids literally climbing on the receptionist table and running around the main lobby, what he assumes to be the teachers, frantically catching said rascals.

"Oh, Hello! What brings you here?" A voice asks him.

He turns to the voice and his voice gets caught in his throat, causing him to stutter, god that was embarrassing

"H-hi, I'm here uh under Mr. Kwon? He said he contacted the place that I- uh would arrive here?"

"Right.." She says, typing something on her computer. "Name please?"

"Lee Heeseung, I'm a student at HYBE University"

"Oh yeah! Dad mentioned something about expecting you, come right in!"

'Dad...?' Heeseung thought, 'this pretty girl is old man Kwon's daughter?'

While they're walking to one of the kids rooms, she takes time to make small talk.

"I'm Y/N By the way, Mr. Kwon's daughter. Since you mentioned you go to HYBE University, I go there too! I study secondary education, which is why I work part-time here at the daycare, don't worry about the kids, they really sweet once you get to know them!"

"That's cool, how long have you been working part-time here?" He asks, "About 3 months" She answers.

Since she introduced herself, he decided he would give a bit about himself as well.

"Well, I'm Heeseung, as you know, I'm an IT student and currently in my 3rd year"

After taking care of these kids for less then 2 hours, he knew.

‘This is gonna be the longest two months of my life’

Hey, at least he could cheer himself up by looking at your pretty face!

Seeing you taking care of those rowdy kids and calming them down, it sent a little bug in his stomach, making him feel all tingly inside.

Weird.

After 2 weeks, he was finally getting used to these kids and getting a hang of the ropes, he was so thankful for Y/N, because without her he would have probably died because of these 4 year olds already.

The kids actually really liked him, and they also seemed to pick up on the little crush Heeseung had on you.

“Hee-hyung! Hee-hyung!” One kid, whose name was Jaeyun, called out to him

“Yes Jaeyun?” Heeseung says, picking up the 4 year old.

You were in the same room as him, helping two little girls with their artworks.

“Is N/N-noona your girlfriend?” Jaeyun asks

Heeseung chokes on his own spit, and unbeknownst to you, who was too busy helping the girls, which Heeseung was so grateful for right now. Because damn that would’ve been embarrassing if you’d seen his red tinted cheeks.

“N-no, Jaeyun, N/N is not my girlfriend, she’s just a friend”

“Well why not? She’s really nice and pretty, and you’re always with her!” The 4 year old retorts

“My mama says when you’re like that with a girl, you’re her boyfriend!” Jaeyun adds.

‘Well damn, this 4 year old already knows about dating more than he knows about math.’

After both your shifts at the daycare, Heeseung offers to walk you home, his reasoning was ‘because I don’t want you to get lost, it’s kinda late already’ even thought it was just 5 pm in the evening.

Though you didn’t argue, you really liked his presence.

So here you two were, walking towards your home, in silence.

Not to say the silence was unbearable, but it was pretty unbearable.

So he decided to speak up, to break the awkward tension.

“So..Y/N…are you doing anything this weekend?”

You were slightly taken a back, but you tried to hide your excitement, not wanting to get your hopes too high.

“No, I don’t have anything to do this weekend, why?” You answered him after a while.

“I- I uh, would you want to hang out with me this weekend? I uhm, would love to take you out somewhere”

He got a bit nervous at your silence, but in reality, you were trying to contain your excitement.

“Yes! Yes Hee, I would love too” you were pretty sure your smile was so wide right now.

“Great! I wouldn’t know what to do if you said no” “Why would I ever say no to you, Hee?”

You both didn’t know it, but you were already at the gate of your home, until you looked away from Heeseung.

“Well, this is me…I’ll see you tomorrow yeah?”

“Yeah tomorrow..”

“By the way, Hee?”

“Yeah?”

“I heard you and Jaeyun talking a while ago, and you know, I wouldn’t mind being your girlfriend.”

“I- YOU HEARD ABOUT THAT?”

“Well yeah silly! Jaeyun is a really loud kid, and he asked me the same question too a few days ago.”

“Wow, well I guess Jaeyun really wanted us to get together huh?”

“Yeah, kids am I right?”

[babyfairy]

life updates again lol

🧸 i’ve been watching revolutionary girl utena recently (canon lesbian event) and i love it!! wish i would’ve watched sooner. the OST is so good lol. i’m on episode 20 now so i’m blazing through it 😭 it’s right up the avenue of the sort of thing i’d be into though so i’m not surprised. it’s very very good but i can 100% understand why people say to approach it with caution and check a trigger list beforehand.

🧸 i am healing from my binge eating disorder one day at a time 🫶🏼 haven’t binged in a few weeks now which is huge. i am seeing positive changes in the way my body physically feels so it’s nice to see things pay off. i don’t want to get into it too much because it’s a sensitive topic both for me and in general but i’m doing my best to get to a place where my relationship with my body and with food and eating is a lot more positive than it is now

🧸 we restarted our longest running dnd campaign yesterday. was a very very hard decision to make but for the best in the long run. starting with a clean slate is weird and a little nerve wracking lol but i had a lot of fun and it’s been a long time since i’ve been able to spend time with my friends and feel “normal” the entire time so i was glad we got the chance to play. i’ve been struggling so much with interpersonal relationships and relationship OCD lately that i wasn’t really sure that things would pan out. self destructive behavior and paranoia etc etc etc. dnd is one of my biggest outlets and i am a lot more sad without it not to sound like a huge nerd. so i’m happy we got to start playing together again.

🧸 i’m trying not to stress too much about money lately but it’s hard lol!! there are so many things i want to do and buy and people to buy gifts for and trips to take and it’s so overwhelming sometimes trying to plan and budget all of it out. i need to be better about saving money but it’s difficult during summer especially when there are countless birthdays going on around me lol it’s hard to keep up. i wish everything wasn’t so expensive 💔

🧸 overall i am doing better the last few days and my period started which means my latest episode was more than likely caused by PMDD which is…👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼 very embarrassing weirdly enough! i wish PMDD were talked about more because the impact it has on me and on my relationships is immense and i always feel guilty placing “blame” on it because i don’t want it to seem like a copout. i just don’t think a lot of people understand how much it distorts my thoughts and feelings (even more than they already are, which is truthfully quite a lot!) and it’s very scary and upsetting to deal with. and knowing that it always comes back really sucks. like having a designated week during the month where i am literally crazy and unstable and nothing really provides any relief is so shitty and embarrassing on top of everything else i already have going on lmao i wish i could catch a break. gonna try and enjoy things while i feel relatively calm and rational 🙃

[thescarswillneverf4de]

my life was so weird so far

my childhood was good i guess and then when i was 12/13 got groomed and raped and bullied in school constantly for liking more feminine things and being “gay” and then i realised i was trans and was like im not transitioning in school so i stayed in school till i could but started skipping school and staying home because i genuinely hated it, the uniform made me so dysphoric and i hated how i looked constantly, ended up being abandoned by all my friends because i kept missing school and they all found other friends so i started being on my own and FINALLY. in 2020 lockdown happened so i started growing my hair out and talking to people online in the ayesha community to pass time, i was still sorta doing online classes cuz lockdown but not really i just stopped doing them, then officially dropped out yazz, started isolating myself alot from everybody in my family and gained a fear of leaving the house somehow, i didnt leave my house for 2 years straight, the first time i did was in a really hoe outfit and i couldnt make it further than the end of my road because i was terrified, my neighbour called my mom and complained about what i was wearing so i didnt go outside probably for a whole year after that, i met alot of good friends and people i love online.. i met my first boyfriend on there, nate, i really did love him it was the first time in my entire life i was shown love like that, i didnt care how far he was i was just obsessed with him.. then he suddenly left which took a really big toll on my mental health, then realised months later that he abandoned me and i gained a fear that everybody is gonna abandon me cuz of how my friends did and now my boyfriend too, i met another boy, ion even wanna say his name but yeah, i felt like he was really what i needed and i genuinely fell in love with him SO hard, i sabotaged myself constantly because i felt like i wasnt worthy of love alot of the time and i hurt him and he hurt me! it was bad, i did anything for him to stay with me.. i started self harming for the first time ever kinda like not for attention, cuz i hated myself because i felt like i made him hate me and that he didnt love me (i was right in the end lol) i ended up breaking up with him because he just didnt love me anymore and i wanted him to love me again for the longest time or show any affection, (he didnt) i feel like thats when my mental health got to its lowest, i was dependent on him and had my whole life planned around him, i tried to kill myself twice after we broke up because i hated myself so much and was tired of feeling hopeless, all i wanted was him to love me and i would rather be dead without it.. and im here now a few months later, still depressed and missing him everyday, thinking about him non stop- im really miserable and im thankful for my friends who are there for me but nothing helps, at the end of every day i still want him back or for him to miss me. i also recently got groomed by a sex trafficker, i was so desperate for somebody to take my mind off (the ex) so i got attached when i was shown any affection, my friends gave me an intervention with that and im glad they did because id probably be trafficked if i met with him, not that i care if i die i just dont think being trafficked is ideal in my life right now.. and i think thats really all.. im so bored so im writing out a life story until something happens i can update. maybe ill start getting therapy? adam is sure i have clinical depression and i probably do

[thequietcro]

A Team Effort

[I’m a simple guy but when I feel things, my emotions are intense as hell. This is why when @ofpetalsnash was attacked, the first thing that I wanted to do was comfort her. I wasn’t expecting her to lash out at me the way she did. Then to have @hellonaharley do the same thing, I couldn’t take it. I have been avoiding both of them for a few days to calm things down. However, I don’t do well with sitting around and doing nothing so once Unser told me that the shop was cleared and they were done with it, I called my mom and asked if she wouldn’t mind helping me clean the shop up for @ofpetalsnash. I pulled up to the shop and I grabbed the cleaning supplies from Mom before heading inside.] Watch your step, Mom there’s glass everywhere. [I should have warned Mom just how bad everything was, but I wasn’t thinking about it at the time. “Jesus Christ, Ope is she okay? There’s a lot of blood here too.” I shrugged looking back at my mother.] As far as I know, she’s okay. She killed all four of her attackers in here. She cut their dicks off before she killed them. [The laughter that came from my mother scared me a little bit. “That’s my girl! There’s a whole lot of damage here and her light table is broken. I know that it has to break her heart.” I didn’t understand why something like that would upset Lexi but I didn’t want to ask either. Before I had a chance my mother filled in the blank for me. "Esai gave it to her when she opened her shop as a surprise gift because one of those things is over ten thousand dollars. I don’t know how she’s ever gonna get the money to replace it.” I looked at my mother confused because I didn’t know how she would know any of this.] How would you know about it? You don’t even live in town anymore. [My mother laughed again and shook her head. “I’m not as racist as the rest of you. I kept Lexi in my life and her children. I know things about her and about this shop that none of you have even stopped to think about. She put her blood, sweat, and tears into this place. Now because of Clay, it’s all gone up in flames figuratively speaking. Her dream is destroyed. You guys have the shop to fall back on because of JT but she has nothing now. She has to start over again without the support system she had when she opened this place. I know for a fact that none of you would be able to handle that if that happened to the garage. Whatever kind of attitude you have towards her, rethink it because she can’t handle judgment as it is and now the one place that she was able to call her own is destroyed. Honestly Harry you of all people should know better than to upset her given how supportive she has been to your children since Donna was killed. Did you forget about that? It was her and Jackson that gave you groceries for months at a time so your children wouldn’t go hungry. This is how you repay them. By being hateful to her children and her? Not how you were raised, you may be your father's son, but I know for a fact that you know better than that and I’m very disappointed in you.” After the speech from my mother, I didn’t know what to say so we cleaned the shop in silence for the longest time until I heard a soft squeak and gasp. I turned around and saw @ofgracensass standing at the door looking a little terrified.] Hey, Dixie, she’s okay, if you want to see her, she’s at the house. [Dixie shook her head and whispered a response. “Just hand me a fuckin’ broom, Ope!” Just like that the girl who left us all for love transformed back into the person we all knew and loved.]

[sinister-faye]

Gamedev update

The good, the bad, and the revelation.

Hello my fellow artists, gamedevs, and other folk who stumbled upon this.

Tldr; I have to stop Armageddon ignition til I have more time and a team, but I have other things I want to release to help me get funds to help with both problems.

Here is the long version:

It's been a spell since the last update. The delays are complex and fairly personal. But the conclusions I've come to on the other side of my chaotic life are going to shape what this solo dev project will ultimately become.

The good

So for the longest time I kept hammering away at my game while having some blinders on. One core belief I held was that I was going to do this all solo. While writing and planning a game that I needed 12 voice actors for at a minimum. (The full weight of that dichotomy crashed over me later, don't worry.) Watching my first in game cutscenes and hearing either a soulless bot spit out the lines, or my own attempts at doing multiple voices, raised some flags in my mind. But I still pressed on. I just needed to work on the game every day.

I also wasn't seeing as much growth in followers with my various blogs or twitter. Sure I made posts. But they seem to blather about nothing and I never have anything other than a screenshots to hype my game.

Life then forced a large break on my time. A month and a half long break that was personal, and a little painful still. This forced break I took helped me see my process and allowed myself to do some introspection on my marketing, presentation, and my goals.

The good news is the game is still gonna happen, and I'm still going to develop it. But...

The bad

Because of this vague event in my life my time is now strained In a way that will prevent me from working on this game enough to make any meaningful progress. And this time constraint won't loosen for at least a year. I want to come back to it. And I have a plan to come back stronger.

During my month long interlude I had some time to think about each thing I could improve on.

1. Better content: guys I'm verbose. And I'm sorry I'm verbose. I really should have been a writer or a philosopher. The accounts I see with the most growth get that growth from .gifs. if I can't sell the idea in a gif I won't post it. Unless it's a bigger how to, or post mortem.

2. Solo development for a game is only good if the game I am making has 1 or less voice actors.

3. Art as a medium is under attack and we need to build groups to make it through. Solo dev only helps a solo person. Team efforts can help teams of people.

4. I talk a lot of talk. Boy do these words I say allude to a lot, without revealing a thing. Even this post assumes that there is a major audience clamoring to hear any small update. I need fans first.

Through all the navel gazing, the most important thing I Learned is that I need to start building a community, but the life event left me a little despondent . Most of my time was spent healing and getting back a good headspace. Now I'm refreshed and ready to use what little free time I have towards making a studio that is a group effort.

The revelation.

During my break I saw the writers strike, I saw the actors strike, I saw rights being pillaged from our livelihoods inch by inch. And I saw people win to get a fairer share. In order to complete Armageddon ignition I'm going to need money to properly pay some voice actors, I want to get more people involved. I finally started a game that I think will see the light of day. But I no longer want to be a hermit about it. And I want a team with more perspectives than my own to help me.

There are too many companies bleeding creative teams dry for "content", there are too many ceo's who look for tools or pipelines that completely remove humans to save a buck for the next quarterly earnings.

My goal has shifted from producing a game as a solo creative to building a company. A group of people who share in the earnings of their product, rather than some white dude who went to Yale and learned that slashing jobs makes the next quarterly earnings look a little better and gamed his own paycheck to give him more money than they ever "saved".

But I don't have the funds now, nor do I want borrowed equity for this thing. If I'm going to build up an organization that is more artistic focused, rather than profit focused. I can't do it on debt that can be leveraged to destroy a queer, story driven studio.

So in order to get a cash flow started I found something that I can do with my much leaner free time. This is going to be an animated project that can, on paper and not just in my head, be developed and maintained by a solo artist.

This time I'm going to release the videos and let the work speak for itself, rather than wax on before it's even done. Once I have some time back I'll try to make a post mortem.

So as far as timelines go. This is going to push back this game indefinitely. But I hope to utilize this time to actually build something that can benefit the game industry. And build a better game in general.

The next blog should be coming with enough detail to sell you on what I have cooking.

See you soon

[kinomiakai]

I posted 1,192 times in 2022

165 posts created (14%)

1,027 posts reblogged (86%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@dark-naruto

@snsmonth22

@narudoodles

@kinomiakai

@lilium-sns

I tagged 1,192 of my posts in 2022

#artbyop - 768 posts

#ep3otp - 690 posts

#canonverse - 335 posts

#textpost - 247 posts

#kinomitalks - 195 posts

#notsns - 174 posts

#notnaruto - 159 posts

#sastag - 147 posts

#writingstuff - 145 posts

#snow124-art - 122 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#i also spent my whole day researching how not to be unbelievably screwed over when self publishing so that was fun and not at all depressing

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Self-Promo Saturday!!

Hey friends!! I’m trying something I’ve wanted to do for awhile today - it wasn’t that long ago that I didn’t have too many people visiting my ao3 account, and I honestly don’t know what would have happened if not for Rebuilding & the sns month event that brought a lot of you to me. So! For those of you starting out on ao3 or elsewhere, if you want a bit of a boost, reblog this post with your links and I’ll reblog them! And maybe we can all spend a bit of time checking out each others’ work :> Sound good?

This is just an informal thing, so don’t worry about your numbers or if you count as starting out or not. Just go for it, if you’d like to.

(I’ll tag all these posts with SPsat, so blacklist that if it gets too spammy for your liking 💕 )

25 notes - Posted January 29, 2022

#4

I had no idea how to reply to this ask without confirming or denying so I tried out blocking the bits that might be spoilers and made the funniest blackout poem in the world

33 notes - Posted January 10, 2022

#3

Hi! You often write Sakura as a lesbian, but do you actually think she is one? I’m curious why you write her this way (to me she seems extremely straight). I hope I’m not offending you, I just really want to know your thought process?

Aw hey anon! No worries, I’m not offended at all. I’m totally open to different headcanons about characters, I know we all have our preferences. Honestly, a lot of mine boil down to the pieces of canon that speak to me, and what I find the most fun to play around with - and Sakura being a lesbian is one of those for me.

Honestly the whole break down of Ino and Sakura’s relationship I find fascinating interpreted in this way - because Sakura is totally starstruck by Ino, she’s talented and beautiful and confident and I think the line is something like “compared to her, I’m…” And then Ino seems super jealous/hurt that Sakura admits she has a crush on Sasuke, and in the same breath sort of ditches their friendship for it. So in canon I think there’s a lot of pining/angst to work with from Ino’s perspective, because she’s never even really confirmed to originally have a crush on Sasuke if I remember right? Sakura hears it as a rumour after she says she has a crush, and then is like “you know that means we’re rivals then” and it sort of seems like Ino just went “well, fuck it. okay. I’m gonna kick your ass in loving sasuke then”.

So if I’m looking at it logically, there’s probably more to saying Sakura is bi or pan than a lesbian, but Sasuke as an object of affection is so,,,,safe. He doesn’t show any romantic inclination, he pretty much rejects all relationships in general, doubly so after the massacre, so it sort of reads, to me, like she picked a safe target to seem straight. And then I love your language, because she is totally extreme with it. She is SO straight. She is The Straightest. And that has me a little like hmm. Okay missy. Sure thing.

But I do really see some attraction to females in there, largely because of the way she talks about Ino reaaaallllyyy reads the same way I used to think about girls I had a crush on before I knew anything about myself lol. I’m not gay, they’re just amazing! Look at how beautiful and smart and out of my league they are, I just want to be like them! I want to be as good as they are, that’s what this is! Narrator: it was not.

So a bit of bias, a bit of fun, & a bit of liking the relationship & how it parallels to SNS (although it is very different). Hope that makes sense anon!! Thanks for the ask :>

38 notes - Posted March 18, 2022

#2

Next Bite Me Chapter Up!

Ch5 time!!

54 notes - Posted December 31, 2021

My #1 post of 2022

Happy SNS month, friends!!

I’ll be participating in my own little way, whenever I can! I’ll update this when I do :> Here are the prompts & announcement post if you need them!

Day One: Cuddling or Rivalry

101 notes - Posted October 1, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[contralto]

just gonna do the whole april tc challenge in one sitting (instead of homework for an unrelated class. lol.)

Day 1: Happy April Fool’s! Have you ever pranked your TC; if so, how did they react? on halloween last year (this was before my dumb ass realized i liked him) the entire choir hid in our rehearsal hall with the lights off a few minutes before class and when he walked in i said "play with us, 💎" in a creepy little-girl-in-a-horror-movie voice

Day 2: What is the earliest thing you can remember about your TC? apparently i met him when i was playing percussion at a choir performance several years ago but i have no memory of that. lmao. i do remember thinking his tattoo sleeves were cool when i met him on the first day of me actually being in one of his classes

Day 3: Do you like your TC’s subject? Do you consider yourself to be good at it? he teaches choir and private voice lessons and i am a voice major soooo... i fucking HOPE i'm good at it

Day 4: How do you feel about your age gap? i'm 26 so i'm not super young, but even then he's still twice my age. i've liked fictional characters almost three times my age before so it doesn't feel super weird, but he's definitely the oldest Real Actual Person i've crushed on

Day 5: Have you ever said anything to your TC that showed you favoured them? Have they said anything like that to you? he's one of the only teachers i've ever given multiple gifts to and gift giving is my love language (when i can afford it) so i think it's a bit obvious. he's pretty nice to everyone but he just seems to be extra considerate of my feelings and really encouraging to me, i feel like i might be a favorite 🙊

Day 6: Have you ever noticed any small habits that they have? If so, what comes to mind first? in another class i have with him, he tends to look around the room at each student when he's lecturing. sometimes we lock eyes and i feel my heart do a little flip

Day 7: What gift would you really like to be able to give them, regardless of if it’s realistic or not? gladiolus flowers. they're his favorite but they're expensive and not easy to find

Day 8: Does your TC ever talk about what it was like when they were still a student? oh yeah. he has a doctorate so he has lots of years of college to talk about

Day 9: Does your TC have a significant other? If so, what do you know about them and how do you feel about them? he has a boyfriend who is autistic and apparently likes to discuss geeky stuff with him. i'm not really jealous but sometimes i do think to myself "hey, i'm autistic and geeky too, where's my kiss"

Day 10: What is the longest time you have gone without seeing them? about a month (winter break) right after i realized i had a crush on him. it was a little rough. but man he's gonna be traveling for most of summer break and i probably won't see him for 3 months and i am trying not to think about that :(

Day 11: What do other people usually think about them? nobody else likes him romantically, but the other voice students really appreciate him and think he's cool

Day 12: Do you often make up excuses to speak to them? What kinds of excuses do you like to use? i don't really make excuses but sometimes if i have questions for him i will space them out a bit so i get to visit him in his office multiple times

Day 13: Other than the subject they teach, what are they really passionate about? doctor who (specifically 10. good taste), star trek, literature of all sorts, and english culture

Day 14: What is a skill you really wish your TC had? being attracted to me LMAO

Day 15: Which MBTI personality do you think they are? (cutting out the other part because i want nothing to do with that t*rf) i don't know a lot about mbti but i think we're both ambiverts. he's more of a thinker than a feeler but he's also very compassionate so that's a hard one to judge too. the other two i really cannot decide

Day 16: If you could go back in time and choose, would you still choose to develop feelings for your TC? if anything i'd choose to develop them earlier because i was in denial for months

Day 17: If it was the last time you would ever be able to see your TC, what is one thing you would never leave without saying to them? i love you. thank you for being so supportive and encouraging. you've changed my life and my personality for the better and i can't thank you enough.

Day 18: When was the first time you cried because of them? never cried over him but that last prompt got me a bit misty eyed

Day 19: How well do you think you know them? he's pretty open about certain aspects of his private life so i'd say i know him fairly well and if things continue like this i think i'm gonna get to know him even better!

Day 20: Do you ever lie to them? About what? i don't think i've ever intentionally lied to him but does physically restraining myself from saying lovey-dovey shit count?

Day 21: What is the longest time you have spent together with them? i think it's gonna be next monday because i have one class with him in the morning, then we're grabbing coffee between classes, then another class in the afternoon, and then a private lesson right after

Day 22: If you have had other TCs in the past (or right now), how are they similar to or different from your current (or primary) TC? he's the only major tc i've ever had. i was a little into my chem teacher in high school (he was older and scruffier than 💎) and i had a crush on a female teacher shortly after my bi awakening in middle school, but i absolutely was not this level of smitten

Day 23: Have you ever seen your TC in clothes they don’t usually wear? Casual clothes if they usually wear formal attire or the other way around? he's usually like, polo and jeans casual, but he wears a nice suit for our concerts and godddddd what a snack

Day 24: When was the last time they made your heart thump? today when we rescheduled coffee and he put it in his phone calendar to make sure he had no other scheduling conflicts this time

Day 25: How do you think your TC would react if you confided in them when you felt sad or stressed or anxious? that is literally the reason he asked me to coffee, so uh, that

Day 26: What is the best dream you have had of them? i don't think i've ever dreamt of him, not any that i can remember anyway

Day 27: What is the saddest/scariest dream you have had of them? see above

Day 28: Does your TC ever bring you up to other students/teachers that you know of? not that i know of (unless complimenting me in front of all my other classmates counts) but i wouldn't put it past him. god knows i bring him up to other people a lot

Day 29: Do you see them as being a romantic person? Are you? i mean he has a boyfriend so he must be at least a little romantic. as for me i'm definitely a romantic person but when i'm in actual relationships it has tended to cross the border into obsession so i'm staying away from dating til i can get that sorted out

Day 30: How have they changed since you two first met? How have you changed? he's really taken a liking to me. hehehe... as for me i've gotten significantly less shy and i've changed a lot of my bad singing habits. i like to think we've changed each other for the better

[the-underworld-aes]

I posted 65 times in 2022

That's 40 more posts than 2021!

23 posts created (35%)

42 posts reblogged (65%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@sleepytime-moga

@seafoamfucker

@ma2ereki

@oda-haruko

@vampnightwing

I tagged 54 of my posts in 2022

Only 17% of my posts had no tags

#rambling - 20 posts

#mafia 3 - 13 posts

#goncharov - 12 posts

#john donovan - 8 posts

#mafia iii - 7 posts

#ouatih - 6 posts

#lincoln clay - 5 posts

#thoughts - 4 posts

#mafia 3 definitive edition - 4 posts

#cars - 3 posts

Longest Tag: 115 characters

#lincoln is my fave character but lack of fleshed out story for donovan makes me hyperfocus on him and i wanna fight

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Mafia 3

Okay so I’m gonna take the L and admit I’ve never played the other 2 games, I just watched the cut-scene movies on YouTube, and while I enjoyed the story and characters of the first 2, when I watched Mafia 3′s it DID something to me. So I actually went out and got the game so I can play it all myself.

First things first, I’m gonna wonder why people seem to hate this game so much until the day I die, sure it’s glitchy but not as bad as any Bethesda glitch I’ve seen and nothing game breaking, more or less just funny stuff like “lol that cop car exploded in the middle of the street. I’m gucci tho.”. I really like the time-period cause I actually like learning about the 60′s in American history because SO MUCH important stuff was set in motion back then. Others seem to not like how it’s nt focused on the Italian Mafia anymore and...sure?? I guess?? I mean they’re still there, you’re allied with some Italians while taking out the bigger Italian crime family (I think they’re mad that the protag is black and it’s an important part of the game tbh) And another complaint I see a lot is the games too repetitive, I think that’s the lamest excuse personally. I played this after I beat Far Cry 6, and honestly? It was NICE! I like being able to sneak and take people down, or just blow up everything!  Maybe it’s cause I’m autistic perhaps (ASD gang rise up!) but having a pattern was nice for me, I have a specific way of playing and it was fun. Hell, I’ve beat the game twice already cause it felt nice to play.

I know this game came out in 2016 and I’m way late to the party, I became aware of the Mafia series in 2021 and finally played Mafia 3 in March 2022. And I need to be physically restrained from playing it a third time lol.

See the full post

7 notes - Posted June 20, 2022

#4

Found this under Nuit Blanche in the alt escape route.

I've never seen this in the game before this is so cool!

7 notes - Posted October 1, 2022

#3

Because I’m on the Spectrum™...

I would post this on my art blog but what good would that do? I guess this is unofficially also a fandom blog... anyways

So! A thing I like doing is figuring out timelines, time frames, dates and fun stuff like that. And I gotta say, the timeline of events in Mafia 3 is INFURIATING! And according to THIS it’s the lead world designers preferred playthrough. I know I probably should take this with a huge grain of salt, but going by this it throws so many things out of wack (especially making Sign of the Times be the last DLC story you touch)

So, February 27th is when things kinda kick off, Lincoln’s friends and family are killed and he’s left for dead by the Marcanos.

Bullet wound takes on average 2 months at most to recover from (from mixed sources 😵)

Lincoln was still bed ridden when MLK was assassinated on April 4th. So I assume he was walking a bit after that, mid-April.

So mid April is when he was up moving around and getting things set up.

The DLC’s, despite not supposing to be in order, 1 of them has a specific date correlated with it.

The DLC stories become available after you get have all the under bosses and do that Sit Down mission.

The “Sign of the Times” DLC introduces character, Anna McGee, without getting too much into it, her death date on her grave is “June 6th 1968

So, set time or no, this implies the cult shenanigans happen immediately while Lincoln is getting into contact with Cassandra, Vito and Burke and he’s juggling them on top of this.

Must happen only in the span of a few days, not even a week.

For the rest of June, I guess Lincoln works at a more normal pace but still a lot going on at once.

For reason the only record date one of the Marcano Capo’s is Lou, and that’s in July, so I assume the Judge gets clapped early July.

That text at the bottom:

This threw me off but I realized it probably took a sec for the charges to process.

See the full post

10 notes - Posted July 5, 2022

#2

Hey I have a weird thought, do tumblr gays have a specific version of Brad Pitt they latch onto? There's him in Fight Club and Interview with a Vampire thats all I can think of.

I finally got a version of Brad Pitt I latched onto recently and I just kinda noticed it.

Is this common?

16 notes - Posted October 9, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

AND ANOTHER THING-

About Mafia 3

Some thoughts about characters and how some folks treat them:

John Donovan: Love this guy, wish I had more info about him that isn't all surface level and stuff I had to make up for a headcanon, but jeez I swear, at least on YouTube comments, it’s like people want to make him the Mafia games equivalent of Deadpool. Cause he’s “wacky” and “chaotic” and they want him to be the next games protag, once again, love this guy, but oh my god, NO! I think he works best as a side character and at most a secondary protag (like for Stones Unturned). If there was a game with him...what would it be? Just assassinate politicians in the 70′s simulator? Won’t be a Mafia game then would it unless he goes back to the Clay Family. That’s just YouTube comments I see though, but I got thoughts.

Vito Scaletta: I have to be clear, I DO LIKE Vito, but I think I liked him more in Mafia 3, very much Italian Uncle I deeply deserved in life vibes, I will admit though, even though I like him in M3, I feel like the devs leaned in on him being there as like, a selling point? While I enjoyed M2, I will admit as faves in order go, it’s Mafia 3, Mafia 1, and Mafia 2. Vito was getting dragged along for a lot of the events in M2 and boy, Joe was.... I wouldn't want him for a friend. Vito can be all messed up about what happened to Joe, but when I watched the cutscene movie for M2 I thought Joe was awful to Vito. Vito needs better friends :/ (also even tho I’m usually on team “RAIL THAT OLD MAN!” I think the Lincoln/Vito ship is odd, def not my thing and yet somehow not as offensive as the next character I’m about to bring up though.)

Giorgi Marcano: Oh boy where do I begin with him... I see...so many people sympathize with him or simp for him and it feels SO GROSS. (Imma be honest this mf is ugly he looks like a monkey with his busted hairstyle. Like if someone made a realistic Westernized Lupin the III but somehow removed all the charm from him). I feel like people seem to have forgotten he handed the Hollow over the the Dixie Mafia on a silver platter, that or they don’t care. The Hollow is the Black community in the game and the Dixie Mafia is all Southern Pride and Lynch mobs, all those Confederate flags... And I know that Giorgi KNEW THIS. I see people saying he was just doing what his dad said, and sure to an extent but it’s clear he enjoys what he does (He was so hyped to tell Sal what he did to Olivia), I will never forget what the Dixie boy’s did to Perla’s, to the young black women they forced to take drugs and exploited, the the specific targeting of the Black and Haitian communities in game, what they did to Casandra, etc. Giorgi was a spoiled violent Daddy’s boy that either was playing Lincoln, Ellis and Danny the whole time, or didn't care about them enough to even protest Sal’s orders against them. Even in his death scene, he never tried to apologize to Lincoln even if he knew the apology wouldn't have saved him. If they showed that, then sure I would at least admit he did care about Lincoln and all his friends that were killed, but no he didn't, just him and his old man. (PUTTING EEEEEVERRYYOOONE ON A LIST WHO SHIP LINCOLN/GIORGI! I CAME FROM THE FAR CRY FANDOM AND I’M SICK OF SEEING SO MUCH RACISM IN CHARACTER PORTRAYALS AND SHIPS! SICK AND TIRED!)

Game story and themes:

I will praise this game to the moon and back, despite it’s “flaws” like the glitches and game play. The glitches were not game breaking for me and I liked the game play honestly (I have ASD so that probably contributes to it). The driving is good despite me being a bad driver and I liked the how the weapons worked.

But I do have some thoughts about what I think was kinda lackluster and disappointing.

Lack of highlighting how horrible the Vietnam war was, condemning the army and the C.I.A. I know that’s so specific but you can’t have a Vietnam vet without having some kind of toll that it took on him, most of Lincoln’s trauma was mostly just centered around what happened to his family after he got back home, and some stuff in his childhood. Which is valid those things are traumatizing but idk, were the devs afraid? Also I know Donovan during the game is still technically in the C.I.A until he officially leaves in 1969, and he’s like, a big JFK stan, but like, does he know what Kennedy’s plans were for the C.I.A, is he blindly loyal? Was it game? I mean I know he does leave it but he’s been in the game for like 15 years, what’s going on? What’s all those war crimes for? Do the devs at Hangar 13 and 2K not wanna be put on some weird list? I don’t know, man.

My taste for found crime families keeps getting un-quenched: Looking back at the promo trailers showing Lincoln and all his under-bosses working together, with Donovan even tagging along, and seeing how the game actually played out... ow. The under-bosses hate each other, every convo between Lincoln and Cassandra feels like it leads to an argument, Burke was racist to Lincoln at the start, and....actually Vito seems like the most pleasant despite being a sad middle aged man so I’ve give him that. The most we get to them showing respect for each other is if you go to pick up kickback and talk more to them, then they’ll say nice things about each other.

Ex: Cassandra saying Vito isn't as bad as she thought, she thinks Burke is really fun. Vito thinking Burke is funny. And Burke having respect for what Vito's been through and weirdly enough, oddly respectful of her beliefs.

But that’s it, and they have no idea who Donovan is either even though he’s been working behind the scenes. And with how they are in game, I know they would NOT like him, I think Cassandra would hate him the most cause she gave Lincoln flak for willingly joining the army (I mean she’s right, I agree with her.).

So in that aspect I’m a little <:/ about. Not everything can be perfect.

OKAY THATS ALL FOR NOW!

25 notes - Posted June 27, 2022

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