#it's hard. my pinkie kinda hurts but i think im doing ok!

[caramelmochacrow]

i. im. im back from school :'D (<- happy they did music, sad they did math)

[the-ultimate-pie-family]

Sara's encounter with god part 6

Sara: *dreaming*

Ambrosine: hello sara

Sara: wat is this place where's god?

Ambrosine: ur sleeping i just wanna say congrats mother sara u will go down in pony history that got pregnant by the holy lord itself

Sara: wait wat? Im pregnant?..... *rubs her stomach* so wat u want my baby do u?

Ambrosine: no I'll be taking ur soul after u give birth

Sara: wait wat I'm gonna die after my baby arrives?

Ambrosine: sorry sara it's the circle of life atleast ur baby will survive

Sara: im not worried my babe will keep me safe no matter wat

Ambrosine: u really think so huh?

Sara: *picks up death by her cloak* i know my babe will keep me alive no matter wat u don't know him like i do

Ambrosine: really now do u know god has a vessel that's the only way he's here??

Sara: wat r u talking about talk *shakes death rapidly*

Ambrosine: *smacks sara back* wake up u'll see his vessel is making food

Sara: *growls* fine i bet his vessel is really nice

Ambrosine: hahaha *grabs sara by her throat slowly choking her*

Sara: *blushes a deep red getting really wet* mmm s-stop ch-hoking me *covers her mouth cumming softly waking up taking a deep breath looking around looking at her stomach sighing* i think i came in my dream......so embarrassing.......my babe should only do that to me..... *throws the covers off her seeing a big puddle of her cum blushing* damn that death choking me and everything..... *gets up looking in a mirror* oh no my neck is bruised........ *looks in the dresser for something to cover her neck* oh no

Pinkie: sara breckfast

Sara: *pulls pinkie in the room* pinkie help me my neck is bruised i can't have god see me like this he'll get mad

Pinkie: well maybe god choked u too hard *giggles*

Sara: but it was god it was death she choked me till i woke up plz pinkie help me hide the bruse

Pinkie: *hold sara teleporting downstairs* blood sara needs ur help with something

Blood: *walks to sara using his magic to still cook* geez ma'am wat happened to u?

Sara: i would say the same too u blood

Blood: hmmm *uses the holy light to heal sara neck*

Sara: hmmm *that's the holy light* r u my babe vessel?

Blood: why u ask?

Sara: because i should know his vessel if im carrying his baby

Pinkie: *shocked* wait wat ur pregnant congrats sara *hugs sara*

Sara: *hugs pinkie back* i know i was shocked aswell

Blood: congrats sara hows ur neck feeling now?

Sara: it doesn't hurt anymore thank u blood

Blood: welcome *goes back to cooking*

Pinkie: i can't believe ur pregnant sara im so happy *smiles*

Sara: yeah i was shocked hehe but im glad that i am

Blood: *finishes cooking putting plates on the table with food on them* food eat

Sara: kinda bossy u think?

Blood: hmm *walks outside using his magic to roll him a blunt*

Sara: *watches blood walk outside sitting at the table* hmm *starts eating* so pinkie wat is blood?

Pinkie: *eats* wat isn't he is the question

Sara: wat do u mean pinkie?

Pinkie: my son is alot of things sara but there r something nopony should never know about my two sons *keeps eating*

Sara: hmm *keeps eating* hmmm? *runs to trash can vomiting* ewww....

Pinkie: u ok sara?

Sara: yeah just got sick..... *vomits again* ugh....

Pinkie: *gets sara a jar of blood* here sip this don't chug it

Sara: *gulps sipping the blood* hm? It's not bad i seem to be keeping it down

Pinkie: and the baby is too that's good *smiles*

Sara: pinkie u seem to know about pregnancy can u help me? With the baby? To keep it healthy i mean

Pinkie: then don't knock it till u try it then

Sara: ok?

Pinkie: *places a plate of fried chicken brains* eat then *walks to kitchen*

Sara: *eats the chicken brain not knowing wat it is* oh? I'm actually keeping it down?

Pinkie: *grins happily washing the dishes* im glad ur keeping it down sara that baby is precious

Sara: i know but wats blood doing?

Pinkie: don't worry ur going out there next

Sara: huh? Why? *finishes eating taking the plate to pinkie* thanks

Pinkie: ur welcome now outside thank u

Sara: ?uh ok *walks outside smelling weed* oh my

Blood: *hangs beside sara sleepin smoking a blunt*

Sara: blood? Where is he?

Blood: *lands on the ground quietly turning visible again* right here *yawns*

Sara: *jumps a little mumbling* asshole

Blood: i may be an asshole but im a good one hahahah

Sara: wat r u?

Blood: im a dead vampire pony seeking something

Sara: hmm *looks at blood hoodie* wats insane clown posse?

Blood: my fam im a juggalo *uses his magic summoning some face make up*

Sara: face make up??

Blood: yeah i have a concert to go to here soon

God: blood take sara with u plz?

Sara: can i go?

Blood: i don't see why not but ur not going like that wat face paint do u want?

Sara: black and purple?

Blood: hmm ok *teleports them to his room open his closet of icp gear* welcome to my closet of juggalo and juggalette

Sara: oh my god?!

Blood pick wat u want to wear and *looks in a mirror painting his face all white*

Sara: *takes off her spiky collar and wrist bands* hmmm *clips on two juggalette wrist bands and juggalette necklace choker* hmmmm *puts on a juggalette hoodie* how do i look blood?

Blood: *looks at sara for a sec finishing his red marking face paint* cute *looks in the mirror again finishing up* done how do i look miss sara hahah

Sara: u look handsome heheh now how do i do this? *places her chim on bloods shoulder* can u help me handsome? *kisses blood neck*

Blood: *shivers* uh u know ur dating god not me ma'am

Sara: uh actually u r god i been fucking u haven't i and i know i have been

Blood *blushes* *shes know too much god how does she know that*

God: uh heh

Sara: so i am right u r god *tackles blood to the floor cuddling blood* i love u babe

Blood: how did u find out me and god r the same

Sara: i gotta know about my lover right

Blood: well ur lover is sleeping *lifts sara off of him* and im not ur lover god is

Sara: ur so playing hard to get right now babe

God: she's right blood

Blood: ugh but r we going to the icp concert tho? Miss sara?

Sara: fine but after this concert im fucking u i wanna feel my lovers vessel hehehe

God: she's a freaky spitfire she is i love it

Blood: i don't know sara i highly doubt we will *uses his magic painting sara face black then with purple markings*

Sara: how do i look handsome?

Blood: like a juggalette *lights a blunt walking outside*

Sara: *follows blood outside* wat r u smoking babe?

Blood: medicine bye mom going to VJ. 2 dope

Pinkie: bye love birds hahahah

Blood: *puffs on his blunt long shallowing the smoke coughing slightly* oh

Sara: can i try?

Blood: sure why not *passes the blunt to sara*

Sara: *takes a big puff shallowing the coughing hard stubbling still walking* oh god......

Blood: hahah too big of a hit huh hehaheha

Sara: s- *coughs* -shut u-up *coughs more puking*

Blood: oh damn girl u greened out ahahahah

Sara: i said shut up *takes a deep breath looking around* oh wow *stubbles* wat the hell? *feels dizzy and tingling* wat is this?

To be continued---------

Tag @saraali-19

[shiroichiban]

as you can see i've been given a very generous offer... so who am i to refuse :33 (im just kidding im not one to do hurt no comfort, also tae young's, aaron t's and aaron z's scenarios are under the cut!)

Robaire

ro i finished it!! was the text he received at 12 am, an ungodly hour of the morning in his opinion but he'd stay up all night for you. attached to your message was a minute long mp3 file that he stared at for a bit. did he really want to break his heart even more? he wasn't a masochist so why was he doing this...

"ah fuck it." he mumbled and pressed play, it was the sweetest thing. you sounded like a fucking angel in the recording to the point that he forgot all about the bitterness and smiled because he knew how hard you worked for it. but what he wasn't expecting was the added message at the end.

"so uh... i dunno if you'll stick around to hear this ro but i really like you and—" with that the recording cut off.

robaire felt his eyes widen as he replayed the recording, again and again and again. it was around the 10th time at this point before you texted him again did you like it?

it was then that he couldn't hold back anymore and pressed the call button, before you could even get a word out he said, "can i come over?"

"l-like right now?" you stuttered surprised.

"yeah my heart might explode if i don't kiss you in the next few minutes."

Jesse

the sun was slowly setting in the art room you two were working in. various clay pieces laid strewn on the table but what you were working on were two rings with a few engraved details. "what do you think jesse?" you asked as you held up one of the rings to him, looking over the piece he couldn't deny that the craftsmanship was really good.

"it looks great, who's it for?" he asked nonchalantly, expecting your answer to be—

"you!" you smiled at him as his eyes widened, "heh, getting married right away is kinda fast isn't it..." he mumbled through his blush.

"then consider this me asking you out." you said confidently, "now gimme your ring finger cause i dunno if it fits." with that he watched as you took his hand and attempted to fit the ring onto his finger... it was too small.

"GOD DAMNIT!" you cursed, "i knew holding hands wasn't good enough to determine your ring size! the internet fucking lied to me jesse!"

"your fault for believing it~" he teased before sliding the ring onto his pinkie finger, "there, for now it's a promise ring." and with your ring he reassured himself that you weren't going anywhere.

Tae Young

"tae are you ok?" your best friend had been quiet and distant since yesterday even as you invited him to sleepover at your place. he would've asked to climb into your bed to cuddle at this point but tae was just laying on his bed wordlessly. "tae.. bud did i do something?"

no response.

"i guess your asleep..." you mumbled before falling asleep yourself.

-

the next morning you woke up feeling a warm lump beside you, looking down you saw tae young curled under your arms like a kitten, softly snoring with his face nuzzled into the crook of your neck. "tae?" you asked gently as you stroked his cheek.

his eyes fluttered open and widened before leaning into your touch, "sorry (name)..."

"why are you sorry dummy?" you laughed as he pouted before replying "for ignoring you."

"honestly i'm over it but i think you owe me a kiss for ignoring me all night." you raised an eyebrow at tae as his face flushed red before he nodded, with a sense of resolve he closed his eyes and leaned in, waiting for you to kiss him.

and so you did~

Aaron T.

lately t felt like he wasn't as happy around you as before, the first time he met you it was like a rush of happiness swept through his body and nestled it's way into his heart, but now all he could hear was "we're better off as friends" over and over again. it hurt.

he was walking down the halls in school when he heard you and your friends' voices coming from an empty classroom, "no you seriously don't get it (name) he's in love with you."

"please, i'm not even that great of a person to date. there are so many other legitimately attractive people he could go for he doesn't deserve to be stuck with me." you said this adamantly, because you genuinely believed it. you loved t to the point you wanted what was best for him, and what was best was for him to be with someone else. someone actually worthy of him.

"what do you mean i don't deserve to be stuck with you?!" t burst into the room and exclaimed exasperatedly, as you and your friends eyes widened.

"h-how long have you been there..." you mumbled.

"since the beginning." t didn't even bother joking around anymore as he stared you down.

"...and this is my que to leave." your friend mumbled as they stepped out of the room, "you two aren't leaving this room until you date each other." they said matter-of-factly before you heard the lock of the door click.

"did they just..." you groaned as you stared wide-eyed at the door. "yup, now sit down and talk to me." aaron t demanded.

Aaron Z.

z watched blankly as an envelope fluttered out of his locker and onto the floor, but him being the rational thinker he was, decided it was probably just some fan and shoved it into his bag for later. he had other things to think about after all.

-

"so... did you get something in your locker today z?" you asked nonchalantly as you sat next to him in the basketball court.

"shit are they doing the thing where they put your infraction slips in your locker now?" z mumbled, he tried to be a model student in spite of his career but things slipped through the cracks y'know?

"no something else." you pushed, you remembered putting it in this morning. he had to have gotten it right?

"oh, not really then." he shrugged before shuffling around in his duffle bag looking for a spare towel, but instead pulling out the envelope he received today. "probably another fangirl." he muttered as he looked at your letter passively and you couldn't help but feel your heart break a bit.

"how'd your confession go though? did you give the letter?" you were genuinely thinking, z may be dumb, but he isn't stupid right??

"waiting on an answer." you said simply before gesturing at the letter.

"oh— wait seriously?!"

[normal-thoughts-official]

I LOVE LOVE LOVE YOUR BEAUTY AND THE BEAST IDEA. But may I also propose: Magnus cursed from a young age (probably bc of Asmodeus) that anyone who touches him is hurt by a blast of magic he can't control. (This may result in his mother's death). He locks himself away of his own will. Alec teaches then that it's fear that makes him lash out. Featuring: touch starved Magnus.

this idea is GENIUS actually and i love it. tbh me and my friend have a similar idea that we talk to each other about (lol) but it isn't a B&B thing, its more of an adventure AU. anyway, lets go!

so in this universe i guess magnus banished asmodeus like in the original sh verse but asmodeus cursed him with the "everyone you touch will be in indescribable pain" thing. maybe just as revenge, maybe to try and use it as bargaining chip because okay magnus, is it freedom that u want? u want to be able to have ur own friends and ur own life? fine. get me back, and ill leave u alone, and ull be free to have friends again. if not, ull be still isolated just like before. so is it gonna be win-win, or lose-lose?

but magnus doesn't budge because he knows that if he lets asmodeus free things will only get worse not only for him, but for the whole world. he is too dangerous to be out there. so, magnus resigns to his fate

and i guess in this version he wouldnt have a lot of close friends because he had been with asmodeus his whole life before he was cursed, so he was just. alone in his self-imposed isolation with no one to talk to. maybe he enchants the furniture so they gain sentience but they can't really feel pain, so at least he has someone to talk to. god im so fucking sad already

so is the furniture his friends in canon? im not entirely sure how i feel about that but also the idea of ragnor as that clock from the original movie is great. thats my most important thought on the subject ngl

btw its 4 degrees Celsius in here so im typing with gloves on so ull have to excuse my typos i am a mere brazilian and i want death

anyway okay so i guess his friends are like pieces of furniture that he spelled into sentience and they aren't his servants or anything cuz that's gross but they just like, hang out. wow im actually managing to type pretty well all things considered

so at least magnus has people to talk to but he's still touch starved because you know... a clock can't hug you and that'd just be weird. maybe them becoming sentient was an accident? lmao like magnus just wanted to automate some functions like having the clock talk to tell him the time or something and it turned out that they became sentient. possibly his magic is a little fucky because of the curse so that's why that happened? or maybe he just is way more powerful than he realizes and we all know he invented the spells he used to try and automate the things anyway. but if he gets people to talk to, well, he's not complaining

im focusing too much on this. anyway. id also like to note that im making rapha the cook/stove thing because i mean, come on. it's right there

and ok i guess alec comes into this because he uhhhhhh no u know i might go with that izzy thing. so izzy ran away from home because of maryse's bullshit and alec was sent to bring her back. so he was going after her but in the middle of the path there was the whole wolf attack thing that scared off his horse and LUCKILY magnus' house/tower/whatever was right next!!! so of course they take alec and his horse in but also WHOOPS there's a huge snowstorm that lasts for days (par the course for where magnus lives, actually. he DID want somewhere people would avoid. but also i think maybe his magic being fucky has something to do with it) so i guess alec is stuck at magnus' for the foreseeable future

which is HELL for magnus because he is terrified out of his mind that they will accidentally touch and alec will be hurt. and like.... his Constant Crave For Touch is already bad on a regular day, but having someone who could actually hug him in theory just makes it worse, you know? he hasn't interacted with other human beings in so long, just having one there is enough to make his need for touch almost unbearable and just... completely constant. it's hell

so magnus is scared, which means that he keeps to himself. so he tells alec not to go into his room, he tries not to eat at the same time, and other stuff like that, bUT his friends keep sabotaging his plans because they want him to have another friend, jesus christ!! (rapha being like "come on now magnus, you don't want my soup to get cold, do you? i'll be deeply offended. i guess you have no choice but to eat with alec". so magnus goes but the first thing he does is magic his regular table into a gigantic rectangular table with 41908410 seats and seat on on the side opposite to alec. alec just sighs

so like he's constantly coming across as rude because he is trying to avoid alec, alec just doesn't know why

but alec is also a stubborn bitch who goes stir crazy and refuses to just sit around isolated doing nothing while they wait for the stupid storm to finally be over so he can go get his sister. and magnus saved his life, so it's the least he can do to repay him in some way. besides, this is what, the first time that he's been completely away from his mom? for such a long time too? and he's finding that he feels... weirdly free and just relieved and he doesn't want to waste that opportunity with standing idly around alone all day. he had enough of that at home, thank you very much

besides yeah magnus is being rude but alec is used to straight up assholes and abusers (jace. i'm talking about jace. also maryse ofc but mostly jace) and magnus is not that. in fact he makes very polite conversation and is actually pretty fun during dinner, all things considered. he's just.... super private, i guess

AND magnus' friends are all being a nightmare with the making them interact so you know. they end up interacting. and alec makes it a point to help him take care of his house because it is a certified Depression Lair™. magnus can take care of it magically but it's like... so dark and almost suffocating at times and there is stuff like bad painting and piping problems that he never bothered to fix because it isn't affecting the functionality too much but it DOES makes life harder and alec "everything must be at 100% always" lightwood is not here for it so for a few days they are working on fixing the house and... magnus actually feels a lot better when the place has actual sunlight and looks inviting and like a home, he has to admit. when he says that to alec it might be the first time he's given him a real smile and man, is alec smitten

sidenote i guess this means that magnus doesn't exactly... dress well in this au lmaoo i mean it makes sense too because canonically magnus uses dressing up as a way to convey an image of power and untouchability and he doesn't really need that in this AU since he is completely isolated. so i guess he is a bit more like twi magnus - bare-faced and wearing comfortable clothes and the like. this isn't a twi au i'm just saying that it makes more sense for him to dress like that in that context

anyway. after the whole house fixing thing, they officially become friends. it turns out that alec also knows a bit about what it's like to feel isolated and touch-starved (altho he's always had izzy to help in that department, but still) and also what crappy parents are like. magnus shows alec his little mirror that he's enchanted to be able to show him anything he wants and how he uses it to be able to see all the places in the world he'd like to visit - he loves people, he loves culture, and sometimes it's all he can do to watch what's going on in Mumbai and it makes him feel a little better, so, he does that. he also admits that sometimes he catches on some drama happening and uses the mirror to see the people involved and make sure they are okay. kinda like a soap opera of his own but he has the means to interfere and help because of magic, so he will have someone who's struggling with money suddenly find hidden cash or have an "unknown dead relative" give them a lot of money in their will, or something like that. and if he also watches some of their personal drama that unfolds, well. he is lonely and it's not hurting anyone

but magnus doesn't tell him about the curse, and he still makes sure to keep his distance. it stings a little to alec, but it hurts magnus the most because fuck, maybe he just desperately needs someone who will give him the time of day, but he likes this guy and that only makes it harder to keep his distance. he makes it a point to always be at at least two arms length from alec, which alec thankfully respects and doesn't try to get him to breach, but. shit. it's still so hard to not want to just rest his head on his shoulder or get a hug or even fucking touch pinkies like stupid children and he can't. alec even once jokingly suggests that they have a ball since magnus doesn't know how to dance and magnus is actually excited for a second before he remembers that he can't, it would have to mean that alec touches him, and he can't

someone - maybe ragnor - even suggests that maybe he could try gloves and heavy clothing so alec isn't really touching him but magnus refuses to try because he doesn't want to risk it not working and alec getting hurt, because he'd never forgive himself. besides, getting a taste would only make it hurt more. he can't. he can't

but it's alright because at least he has some human company - he loves his friends, he does, fiercely, but it's different when they kind of have no choice but to be with him and also are enchanted creatures. he doesn't even know if they aren't nice to him just because he enchanted them into life, even tho to be fair if he had a choice ragnor wouldn't be that grouchy - and alec makes him laugh and gets him and helped make his place feel more like home, a little bit. and he can pretend that he feels the warmth from alec's body when they are sitting by the fire and feed these crumbs to his desperate need for touch and company

and then the snowstorm ends and it's time for alec to go

honestly, alec himself is kind of heartbroken, but- he loves his sister, and he can't just leave her alone in god knows where, even if he dreads the thought of coming back home now that he's been away from his family for so long. but magnus doesn't want to keep him, and doesn't want alec to feel pity for him, so he's all but pushing alec out of the door (not literally, of course. he can't do that, it would mean touching him) all "go, go, you never know when another storm might start. go see your sister. take my mirror, you can find her more easy". and alec's all "but it's been the only thing-" and magnus waves him off, of course, all "i can always make myself another one. besides, you'll have something to remember me by. now go"

so.... alec goes

and hooo boy magnus is heartbroken and a mess because even tho he knew how much having someone else there helped he had almost forgotten what it was like to be the only human in the house. he just feels extra lonely and even kind of bad about it because hey, his friends are there - not that they begrudge him for it, of course. it's not like they don't also hope for the chance to get out of the house and do other things, but well. they can't. so they understand him. and they know how awful he's feeling right then, but what can they do?

meanwhile alec finds izzy pretty quickly - she's living with this one insufferable villager named clary that alec absolutely can't stand, but- she's happy. and she doesn't want to come back, which alec expected, but he finds that he can't actually insist for her to come back. how could he, when he himself doesn't want to go?

and izzy insists that he stays with her - there's no reason for him to come back. they can stay in the village, and work, and build a life for themselves. alec is the only thing she's been missing ever since she left, and in here the both of them can actually be happy. and do it together, like they're meant to

and when he first gets into the village is the first time since izzy ran away that he was hugged and fuck, it's hard to say no to her

but also... he misses magnus already

and he doesn't know if he can just stay and leave him behind

and of course izzy is like "who is magnus?" so alec tells her the story, how he was attacked by wolves and rescued by this house that miraculously was in the middle of the single most inhospitable placealec had ever seen in his life. and the kind but wary stranger who always keeps his distance but seems so eager for connection, who made alec feel welcome and laugh and feel like he built a life for himself there

and clary tells him that she's heard of the story, but she never knew it was more than a legend - no one really remembers what happened. some say that magnus made a sacrifice to rid the village of a demon, and it turned him into a beast, forever locked in his castle. some say that he himself is the demon, and it's the tower that's containing him and keeping the village safe. some even say that he died battling the demon, and it's his ghost that keeps watch on the tower

she wants alec to explain which one is true, but it's all alec can say that none of these are right and he knows nothing because magnus never told him. all alec knows is that he doesn't want to leave magnus behind

and clary is like... well, if he's not a demon or a ghost, maybe we could bring him to the village too. he has magic, right? he could bring the tower closer. and maybe the other villagers could, you know, visit him and hang out. and he wouldn't be as lonely, and then alec and izzy could both stay

driven by this failproof plan, they decide to go back to magnus and tell him their great idea

except they are IDIOTS and forget about. you know. the damn wolves

and like holy shit is this pack big or what? like no seriously why are there infinite wolves in that one singular pack in beauty and the beast. like holy shit dude there's more wolves near the beast's house than in the whole yellowstone park

anyway there are Many Wolves and while alec is a good archer, izzy is a fantastic fighter, and clary is Fucking Crazy if you give her something stabby, there's only so many wolves they can take on at the same time

good thing magnus is a pining idiot who did in fact make himself another magic mirror and was watching alec with it. so he knows that the dumbass is in trouble and for the first time in years, he uses the portal (his own invention, and he had never gotten to use it before!) to get to them and fight off the wolves

so magnus saves all their lives, at the cost of getting severely injured and passing the fuck out. izzy, who's the one closest, runs to get to him and help put him on one of their horses... and is immediately hit by a blast of magic that almost makes HER pass tf out too

which is when they finally learn that, oh. that is the curse

izzy is fine, of course - the pain ended as soon as she was away from magnus

but it does pose the problem of How The Fuck Are They Getting Him Back To Safety, because they can't exactly wait for magnus to wake up (it's freezing, for starters) but with this amount of pain it won't be physically possible for them to hoist him up and get him on the horse. shit, will the curse work on the horse?

they bring alec's horse (by far the strongest of them because alec is huge buff mcgee) and try to get him to touch magnus and the spell does NOT work on the horse because in order to be dramatic asmodeus was like "you shall never feel human touch again" when he cast the spell, which accidentally gave a LOOPHOLE for non-human animals. so magnus could have had cats the whole time, which he had always dreamed of, but he didnt want to risk testing. besides, his house would be a poor environment for a cat and [self torture noises]

anyway thats one less problem to deal with, 99 to go, so they use some ropes to hoist magnus on top of the horse and bring him back to the tower (it's closer than the village) so they can tend to his wounds. thankfully, as the assigned Big Brother of a very irresponsible izzy, alec has experience with first aid, altho he never really dealt with anything quite this bad. and magnus' friends help, too, as much as they can. inevitably this means that alec ends up touching him even if by accident sometimes, but he knows what to expect so he Powers Through It because he won't let magnus die, damn. and as horrible as that is alec has experience with powering through pain, so. he's gonna bandage him up god damn it

izzy can't stand to see him dealing with that himself tho, so she helps, and clary ends up helping as well because they figure sharing the pain makes it easier and alec doesn't have to be too hurt. minimal touching accidents for alec! good

*narrator voice* And Then Magnus Wakes Up And Alec Hugs Him

full on launches on top of him and brings him into his arms and Magnus screams like NONONO OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING ALEC NO GET OFF ME YOU'LL BE HURT and his shock and distress at the whole thing sends another whole blast of magic that explodes that whole mf before it can touch alec and alec feels no pain and magnus is like.............. did i just COUNTER the spell? and everyone's like well! it looks like u did!

which earns him ANOTHER hug (oh my god alec stop he's so stressed out by this) (who knew alec was so touchy?) and this time he's paying attention to that gut reaction and because magnus is a Certified Magic Genius he realizes what it is that he's doing to counter the spell and immediately starts working on a way to turn this into unhexxing himself for good

which he DOES after some time idk how long but alec stays with him meanwhile and maybe izzy and clary do too, because magnus needs all the company he can get and besides, izzy has always wanted adventure and clary has never left the village before, so this is interesting to them at least. and magnus gets to meet new ppl which is nice

eventually the Begone Spell spell is performed and it works and turns out that when it does that it also unfucks magnus' magic and perfects his sentience spell turning all of his friends into humans WOW WHOD HAVE THOUGHT. so all of them are free to leave the tower as ppl at the same time and GROUP HUG!! and magnus cries like a baby in the group hug because holy shit hes been needing something like this so bad for so long and he never expected to have that with his friends but here he is :)

and then yeah they all move to the village to live a simple but fulfilling life and Magnus and Alec start living together in a little cottage and become husbands the end <3 this is so long too rip me

[oh-theatre]

Just A Remnant Now

A/n: lmao this is so bad im so sorry,,, lmaooo ITS SO BAD

TW: Death, spirit, spit, farting, destroy, pain, graphic descriptions, ANGST, no happy ending

“Im sorry Remus I cant talk to you right now, its been months and I cant figure out where this spirit energy is coming from” Logan huffs. “Tomorrow is my presentation and if i have nothing to show for it my entire funding, this project crumbles” He rambles. Remus follows him, his feet carry a sweet lightness as he listens.

“What will they do with the spirit or ghost?” Remus questions, sitting on one of the cold benches focusing hard as he fiddles with something in his hand. A cold breeze as Logan snatches the tool away from him. “Hmph” Remus pouts

“My guess? Ill get a whole team of scientists! A whole new lab with facilities and so much more! And ill tear it apart and study every aspect” Logan beams, the glint in his eye sickened Remus.

“So you'll kill it?” Remus scoffs “Seems kinda brutal”

“No ill just...take it apart to...examine its..origins and what it can do and...its a ghost what does it matter Remus?” Logan inquires, typing viciously away at his keyboard. 

“They still have feelings, their sensories are there!” Remus argues, feeling his face flush. “The way you plan to tear them apart is inhumane! Its against their will Logan, they are still forms of living. 

“They are, in every sense of the word, not Remus. They are dead, figments of what used to be. They cant feel pain, or emotion, they are a remnant” Logan explains

“They are more than that! Lo you're not listening!” Remus stands now, Logan could be intimidating but Remus towered over the scientist. 

“Im not listening because you don't know what youre talking about”  Logans cold glare would pierce anyone but not Remus. “You're just my engineer.” He spits

Though i wish we could be more, both think in unison through their frustration.

 “They have the memories of their old life, they have feelings, they have feelings of the world they must traverse through now as a spirit. They develop feelings, emotions, memories and more. They travel through to the middle ground between living and dead. If they accept it, they move on but some choose to stay!” Remus finishes, his breath cold as it spits on Logan. “Some don't have a choice! Some are tethered! But they aren't just ghosts Logan. They live in the now, through whatever means. Tearing them apart with my molecular design would kill them, and every ounce of pain felt would hurt just as much as it would to you.” Remus finishes, his body shakes, he tries his best to keep solid to the ground. 

“You've developed emotions for these things” Logan rolls his eyes. His judgment was not missed. “And if im not mistake, its your device Remus” Logan reminds

“You're right...it is” He turns to where the device sits immaculate, his design perfect. Such as the mad genius he was. He took his work in his hands, feeling every ounce of metal and wiring that was in it. Then, in the flash of an eye, the machine crashed. It fell to the ground with the force of anger, Logans shock and frozen state was unmissable as the pieces clattered around the ground. 

“What have you done” He whispers viciously. Remus stands triumphant feeling the pain inside. 

“What I should have done as soon as I made it” Remus sighs.

“Why do you care so deeply for these things! You have no idea what they are or what they do!” Logan yells, his voice echoes through the lab.

“For how smart you are.. youre so fucking dumb Logan!” Remus argues back. “For months the same spiritual energy has been popping up on your monitor! You couldn't put two and two together?” He smirks. “You really think after your failed convention last year they would send you an engineer?” 

“What are you saying” Logan breathes

“You're so dumb Logan!” Remus swipes an angered hand across the table, tools crash to the ground. 

“Stop calling me that” Remus’s accusations had cut deep.

“You call me that at least once every hour!”  The continue arguing, it hurts each of them more than can be described. Each new insult is a breach to the relationship they had built up over the past year.  Finally Remus couldn't keep it in anymore. “Im the spirit Logan!” 

the silence that fell through the lab was piercing. 

“I didn't want to move on because fuck closure, so i found you. I liked what you were doing...or at least what i thought you were doing. But once i had built the machine i could have left...but I liked you Logan. Plus you hadn't found a spirit! I thought hey maybe this will be the final piece of the puzzle...” Logans speechless breaths were terrifying. Remus cant help but reach out, he focuses allowing his hands to solidify. He takes Logans hands. “Watch” He instructs, after a quick thought Logans hands fall through Remus’s hold. 

“no no” He tries desperately to grasp to Remus, he wants to feel his hands. “No no lies lies all of it” He spirals, Remus just watches knowing this was inevitable. Remus feels a tug at his heart, he works quickly and the machine is one again. Logan remains at his desk, murmuring nonsense. 

“Lo?” Remus for all his chaos, had the softest voice. “Take me...to the demonstration tomorrow” he offers. Logan looks up finally, his eyes red from thoughts. “I was just another chess piece for your game, just use me...i don't think i wanna stay around much longer anyway” He sighs.

“No Remus. We have to stop this project.”

“what?” Remus barely breathes. 

“I was wrong...I was wrong and so misguided.” Logan admits, he has no idea if his next move would work but he takes Remus hands feeling a warmth as they stay solid in his hold. “You were never a piece...but I was wrong. Because they can feel, you feel...and I feel you” He moves a hand to Remus cheek. Logan had never seen this energetic bumble of ‘not safe for work’ jokes and buzzing laughter so...tired. And it was his fault. “You feel pain and joy and sadness and-”

“Love” Remus adds, Logan holds back his desperation. 

“I was truly an idiot, I was so focused on not looking like a failure I forgot my true goal. To discover and explore...not destroy” Logan sighs “I wanted to learn, but i let that go and became this”

“You dont wanna...destroy?” Remus cant quite wrap his head around it. 

“No god. I wanted to understand! But i let the success and money get to me. And i lost sight of who I was. You arent a danger...you are a miracle” He smiles ever so slightly. “SOmething I love so much is not worth destroying” He states

“Love?” Remus feels himself relax. 

“So..so much” Logan says

“Hah you're in love with a ghost” Remus teases, Logan sighs with a giggle and a playful eye roll. 

“I still have the machine remus” Logan threatens with a grin. Remus steps back and gasps his collar. 

“How dare thee!” He cries ever so mockingly. “I thought you cared”

“Woe is you” He laughs quickly pulling Remus into a kiss. 

Yeah its weird, but so intriguing. He expected a cold chill but received warmth in Remus’s embrace. 

They canceled the demonstration and gracefully stepped away. Years passed and Logan desperately tried to find a solution, he wanted Remus to stay, to be here in all his physical form. But on a quiet fall night, Remus was sprawled across the couch trying to dunk cheese balls into his mouth. Logan sat at his work bench concocting as he did. Logan had had his doubts over the years, Remus was a ghost. But Remus explained that the longer he was on earth he felt tethered a developed a physical form. He wasn't a human but he wasn't a ghost, almost a third party but he was real. 

But he was fading. 

And Logan worked tirelessly to find out what he could do. He had consulted with Virgil and Patton, two scientists who had done great strides for the world of science. He constantly worked alongside Janus but to no avail. Remus was fading, he would have to go soon. Remus didn't mind, all he tried to do was comfort his partner but Logan, for as smart as he was, was in deep denial. 

But this fall night, as a cheesy treat fell into Remus’s mouth his image flickered. This caught Logans eye from his work. 

“Remus?” He rushed over watching Remus sit up straight. The flickers were slow before they became full glitches and constantly. “No i need more time. Surely.” He could feel his tears coming. 

“Promise me youll find someone? Whos maybe not a farting ghost” Remus shrugs, Logan shakes his head, this wasnt the time for jokes. “Logan you knew this was coming. Also lets be honest, it was weird im a ghost”

“You're not though! You're a tethered!” He cries

“Guess my tether snapped” Remus sighs. He wanted to spend these last few moments in sweet bliss but instead, in true Logann fashion, he was arguing. “Come cuddle me you obnoxious man” He pouts

He knows its a joke but the sadness in Remus’s eyes finally catches up to the scientist. He obliges sitting with Remus. They do cuddle, and Remus finally lets go. His tears are soft and he doesnt think much but he doesnt know whats going to happen next. 

“You should get a dog” He sniffles, Logan laughs dryly stroking the messiest hair he had ever known. “Also Janus totally likes you” Remus wasnt oblivious to the way Janus looked at Logan. But he didn't mind, Logan was his...but he wanted his partner to be happy once he was gone. 

“Perhaps, but let me just...let me mourn alright?” Logan asks

“Fine, but promise me you wont mourn forever, please?” He holds up his pinky, Logan rolls his eyes but promises either way. Remus leans up a tad to kiss Logans cheek. “Lets just sit here ok?” He requests, Logan grants it. “I love you Logie” He knows that only he is allowed to call him such a name. They sit in silence, feeling the heartbeats and warmth. Every intimate move felt so careful. 

“I love you so much” He says after a moment of silence, he awaits a response but looks down to see Remus was no longer there. A small gasp as he takes to his chest. This is what it felt like, so much pain. They never conducted the experiments but as he clutched his heart and sobbed loudly he imagined this was close enough. 

[malakhai-ozera]

 Discord Text Thread || Khoman  ♥  

Discord thread featuring: Khai and Roman @romanbeckett

When:  December 24th (day & night)

Mentions: Landon Davies @davieslandon

Description: Roman texts Khai to forgive him after his voicemail. They start texting again later in the day and Khai is beyond fucked up and Roman once again expresses his concerns for him.

Trigger Warnings: HARD drug use, drug mentions, light sexting and dirty talk.(sorry this one is kinda looooong)

Roman. babe. You’re forgiven. Shit happens. I just worry...which is one of my issues. I worry constantly about everything. Always afraid something will happen to you.

Khai. I know, and I’ve been real careless. I didn’t mean to be a shit I was just... being stupid and fucked up I hope you know I really don’t have a problem with you staying with Landon. Idek what my deal was

Roman. are you sure it doesn’t bother you?

Khai. I’m sure baby. I just want you two to have fun

Roman. I’ll still see you there tomorrow right?

Khai. of course you will. Fancy pjs and all lol

Roman. oh my god I can’t wait lol

Khai. me either. It’s gonna be an amazing day for sure

Roman. I’ll be off work soon and I’ll bring us dinner

Khai. I look forward to it! I’m starving plus I really wanna kiss you

Roman. I reallllly wanna kiss you too. Maybe we can sneak in a quickie

Khai. maybe huh?

Roman. okay definitely, because I want lol

Khai.

hahaha well I’m always down baby. You know I can’t keep my hands off of you.

- Later that same day -

Roman. I miss you already

Khai. Miss you too

Roman. dinner and messing around was fun though. Best Christmas gift ever.

Khai. it was fun indeed! I couldn’t agree more

Roman. are you okay?

Khai. yeah I’m okay why?

Roman. idk just checking. I feel guilty now that I’m not there

Khai. don’t feel guilty. I have my drugs and hot chocolate to keep me warm haha

Roman. ooo what drugs lolll

Khai. Just the usual. I also have my tequila so I’m set lol

Roman. damn. I do wish I was there

Khai. I always wish you were here. But it’s okay. We will make out all day tomorrow

Roman. yesss. Can we cook a late night breakfast for dinner together and watch Christmas movies

Khai. absolutely! We can do whatever you want baby

Roman. I'm having wiiiine

Khai. mmm what kind?

Roman. it's a good ass Pinot

Khai. oooo im jelly I’m half way through my tequila advent calendar haha I got behind

Roman. Lmao omg babe!!! How much have you has?? lol

Khai. like 6 so farv ? Lol

Roman. FARV 😂

Khai. oops haha

Roman. I am laughing. I love you lol if I was there, I’d be in your lap right now.

Khai. I love you mooooore yeah you would

Roman. thighs on either side of you, straddling you with my forehead against yours, running my fingers through your hair...

Khai. damn baby... don’t make me come there and crash your party

Roman. SHSUSJEJEJEJENEJDJJE why is my boyfriend so HOT

Khai. because you were a good boy this year? haha

Roman. well we both know THAT isn’t true lol

Khai. hahahaha well then idk. But my boyfriend is pretty fucking sexy too though and lord knows I’ve been baaaaad

Roman. we got lucky  now if we could just keep our damn apartment

Khai. I know... that would be nice wouldn’t it? can’t have it all though I guess lol

Roman. I still haven’t found a place and I’m stressed

Khai. yeah, idk where I’m going either. Maybe we can go look together after Christmas

Roman. yeah, let’s do that. Bleh. Anyway, don’t wanna bring down the mood!! How ya feelin?

Khai. I’m feeling goodz how you feeling?

Roman. goodz too  I feel all warm and buzzy

Khai. hahaha dammit I’m glad baby. I want you to have fun just not to mush fun haha

Roman. I won’t have too much fun. Not without youuuu

Khai. good. Cause J like the sound o g that

Roman. babe you’re wasted aren’t you

Khai. yes I am ll I misssh you

Roman. omg mish. That’s so cute omg. I wanna hear you say it

Khai. nooo hahaha

Roman. mish mish mishhhh

Khai. you’re so mean lol but I love youuu

Roman. noooo I just think it’s adorable lol I love your typos. They make my life better.

Khai. Mhm you mage my life begetter. I should prolly stip drinking now hahaha

Roman. You probably should babe

Khai. that tot out of hand fasty lol oops

Roman. fasty omg you’re SO cute

Khai. lmao wow I gives up

Roman. I’m just imagining you saying all of this outloud, and it’s like making my night

Khai. hahaha I’m glad. I’m imagning you laughing and it’s making my nifht too

Roman. my squawking laugh  god

Khai. nooooo it’s the bstes laugh wver and beast smile too

Roman. I would argue that YOU have the best smile my love.

Khai. Nope nope

Roman. UM *picture of Khai’s smile*

Khai. I look liek a weirro

Roman. WHAT you’re crazy lol

Khai. I’m crazy anout youuuuuu I wanna snugs you

Roman. me too. I love snuggling with you every night and it’s so weird when we don’t like !!! I’m so used to going to bed with you.

Khai. it is weird. Indint like it but Im gonna sleept in y it bed

Roman. sleep in my bed any time you want love. You’ll like the new book I have

Khai. ooooo I wish you erre here

Roman. I know. I do too. I miss those eyes. I also miss your scruff. That sounds so dumb, but I love the way it feelssss

Khai. I love yyou I’m gonna scrufff you up when I se you

Roman. scruff up the inside of my thighs PLEASE AND THANKS

Khai. you know j will

Roman. god I love when you give me beard burn

Khai. I thinks that the hottest thing yku ever said to me I want you sinebws

Roman. what can I say? I just love your head between my legs

Khai. I love it too baby. I luv makings you deel good

Roman. ugh I’m starting to get buzzed now lol

Khai. hahaha dinally this whol room is so pinky spiking lol yup nvm haha

Roman. it’s so what?? Hahaha spinning? Lol

Khai. yessum Jm good

Roman. bleh I worry about you.

Khai. I’m oka I promisee I hust miss you

Roman. I miss you too. So much baby. Keep talking to me so I don’t have to miss you even more.

Khai. what ya wanna talks about? Tell me ykyr favorite chrismas present

Roman. you won’t believe me if I tell you lol

Khai. yesss I whll

Roman. everything you got me. You know me so well. I’m obsessed with all of it. Ugh. The jacket, the shoes?! The freaking clock. You really did so good.

Khai. really? I’m so hapy you love it. I just wanted you to gave the best. You lok so good in those shows too

Roman. you know exactly what I like and feel good in.

Khai. cause I lover you

Roman. I love you too. How are you feeling?

Khai. sleepyyy but good gaga

Roman. baby I’m worried about you.

Khai. why? I’m fdine im jus laying in bed

Roman. i don’t like that you’re doing heroin

Khai. romsn it’s ojay

Roman. but you’re not even making sense

Khai. I ehould jus got to bed

Roman. maybe but bleh idk I’m worried and I should be there

Khai. no no, eont worry. I wsnt you to have fun.

Roman. I know but ugh. I love you.

Khai. I lowe you too idknt wanna hpset you

Roman. will you promise me you’ll try to stop?

Khai. fan we talked about tbis latr?

Roman. yeah of course

Khai. I jus imn so tucked up byt I wanba talk

Roman. I know

Khai. I love yky so mhch

Roman. I love you too.

Khai. I relly sm sorry. Ilm do better. Pleas have fhn tonight okay

Roman. I’m worried to death about you

Khai. I orimse Jm ok. I just nee to skep it off

Roman. okay

Khai. Smile is chrismaaaas

Roman. lol okay, I smiled

Khai. good boyyy

Roman. lol hate you!!

Khai. I knoooow but you lve me

Roman. I definitely love you

Khai. you’re my everything

Roman. Khaiiiii. You’re making me smile so much it fucking hurts lol

Khai. I mean itttt you’re all I ever need

Roman. god I think my heart is gonna explode lol you constantly wanna kill me

Khai. nooo baby. I just want you tk know how mych I love you and I am feelig better so thahs good well jot better but less high lol

Roman. lol!! Well. Bleh. Scared me there, not gonna lie.

Khai. I’m sorry baby I know I newd to stop it’s jus hard

Roman. i know.

Khai.

We can talk about this after the holiday tho. I don’t wanna ruin it for anyone

Roman. you’re not ruining anything for me. I promise.

Khai. I hope not cause I’d never forgive myself

Roman. babe. Don’t be silly. Everything’s okay *heart emoji*

Khai. you’re the best do you know that?

Roman. I’m not. But I’m glad you think so

Khai. I know so.

[kyuala]

monsta x in são paulo (19.07.19)

hey y'all this post is to tell my experience during my concert and hi touch event of the we are here world tour last friday night 🤩 so buckle up bc its a LONG ONE but i divided it into categories so u dont have to read everything if u dont want to!

the concert in general: ok so the concert was ABSOLUTELY AMAZING. there were about 7 songs i didn’t really listen to a lot or liked before the concert but even those were amazing and had me jumping and screaming and going crazy. they’re all SO much more beautiful irl which is like !!!!!!!!! HOW. and they’re so so SO talented all the choreos were incredible and their voices!!! sound even better irl. hyungwon asked minhyuk to sing a little bit of play it cool acapella for us and his voice 😭😭😭 so sweet it’s like honey. they brought hero back to life which was. an experience to see live tbh. i got to the venue line at 9:30am (10.5 hours before the concert) and i was about maybe 15? rows away from the stage (bc i had to go pee real quick as soon as they let us inside) but im like 158cm (5'2) tall so even tho i was standing on this little protection thingy to be taller i still couldn’t see them that well :( i dont think i saw any choreos in full bc of that but it was still amazing to see them do it irl. they all introduced themselves in portuguese during the first ment it was super 🤩 adorable! most of them only said “oi, eu sou ___” (“hi, i am ___”) but some of them had longer phrases prepared (maybe kh, jh and ck? i believe) which was so awesome to see!! during the second ment, hw talked about how some of their songs were composed by their own members and he did that to introduce “our maknae’s song” (aka mohae) and my soul left my body. after jealousy there was the first vcr which was like a youtuber au vcr and it was so!!!!! cute hyungwon, minhyuk and wonho giving us styling, skincare and exercising tips respectively, jooheon making a burrito he named "honey-to", kihyun and kyun teaching us how to make coffee and how to speak english resp and of course nunu's famous asmr mukbang 🥰🥰🥰 it was honestly superrrrr cute and funny i remember hyungwon trying to spell a word in english and just going "..........ne" after the first two letters and then kyun snickering skejdkksdk and jooheon making fun of ck for something and ck laughing the fakest laugh i ever seen in my life lmao and i also remember ki telling us to be careful about a lot of things but most of all our hearts bc he's gonna steal them 😷🤒🤕 but yes i loved it it was v cute and v funny and i loved how they were all interacting with each other even tho it was separate videos. after the unit stages, hyungwon revealed that joo had actually changed up his routine for a more samba-like beat specially for brazil 🥺 he confirmed that and we went INSANE and started showing them our own beat (a classic carioca funk "tchu tcha tcha tchu tchu tcha" that we fo with our mouths/words) and at first they were all like ??????? but then they LOVED IT and joined in on the fun. mh and kh were dancing to it the most and it was so funny. hyungwon or minhyuk then asked jooheon if he could incorporate our beat into his beatboxing and he said it was possible and then we were all just going TCHU TCHA TCHA TCHU TCHU TCHA while he was beatboxing along and he said it was difficult skdjkekddk around five or six different times they told us to take steps back and step a little bit away from each other so we wouldn't hurt ourselves or feel ill (hyungwon did it the most, he actually spotted a girl nearly fainting in the front rows and brought staff's attention to her and he only stopped talking about it/got more relaxed when they did something about it). during this same ment they talked about sn's and wh's different choice of clothing for their unit stage and said it was more daring and sexy and shownu said that kihyun actually chose those clothes for them lmao and ki said he chose them bc he knew us brazilian mbbs would love it and we were like wow. They Know we're whores love that. then someone was like "u chose that?? ur kinda conservative tho????" and ki said he's been "open-minded since birth" KDJSKFKDK rip conservative brothers but the way the lady translated it accidentally kinda made it sound that he was like. open for romantic/sexual advances and we were all like 👀👀👀 OKAY. oh also sometime during the concert one of them slipped and nearly fell doing something stupid (i think wonho or changkyun) skndkskdk the second vcr was the seven deadly sins themed and wow. the PRODUCTION. the absolute ARTISTRY of it all. wheres their oscar. it was honestly super cool but minhyuk was the only member that hadn't appeared yet and the only sin left was lust so we were all like 👁️😏 but then it said AGONY. ????????? it was kinda confusing but amazing nonetheless kyun wanted to shoot hyungwon but then he didnt bc the underlying message was that they all committed sins and blamed themselves but managed to find forgiveness by being together aw <3 a random moment that i dont remember when it happened was when kyun was speaking portuguese to us and he was trying to say "vocês querem curtir?" (which is something like "do you want to have fun?") but he messed it up a bit and accidentally said "vocês querem cu...?" which means "do you want asshole?" and we were all like BOY DKEJDKEJDIDKFKS i dont think he knows what it actually means but he corrected himself real quick and moved on to the next song 💀 for the second to last ment they tried to convince us the concert was ending (lmao) and there was only one song left, so we were all shouting "não" ("no") and they were like "we cant go??????" and we were like "no!!!!!" and they were like :/ oh well guess we gotta stay kdnskdjs they had the brazilian flag up there for some time but they also somehow got an lgbt pride flag there too for the pics??? before the ending ment kihyun said that they all have strengths, as i recall kyun's was writing cool songs/lyrics, shownu's was being fun, i think minhyuk's was having a voice like honey? and i dont recall the rest but when he got to hyungwon he just said "being very tall" and we were all like LMAO SAY SOMETHING ELSE ABOUT HIM!!!! and then he said an actual compliment lol for the actual last ment they each said goodbye to us, i specifically remember wonho telling us that the energy we had and him performing on stage for us reminded him of why he was a singer and why he had to be on stage 🥺🥺🥺 and shownu agreed 🥺 kyun(?) said even though he's going back to korea he's gonna feel incomplete bc he's leaving brazil, ki said he liked us so much he could have another 6 concerts here bc our energy would be enough to keep him going and then said something really greasy that i dont remember but obviously loved at the moment. and then they said they're coming back next year 🤩 and they told us to take care of ourselves and wait for them and come back next year (in a bigger venue, they said!) and they all had their pinky fingers up and were saying "promete" ("promise", but as in the imperative verb) to us 😭😭😭

the songs: i was going to put my videos in this post but there’s a video limit so i’m gonna post them separately later but the first song was shoot out and unfortunately i didn’t get to film any of it because i was in SHOCK that they were REAL PEOPLE and RIGHT THERE u know dkjskdkd then was hero and it was INSANE to see it live??? seeing them do the “i can be your hero i can be your man” move IN REAL LIFE????? not to be a kihyun stan but i had kihyun tunnel vision during the entirety of the song lmfao then it was trespass and the energy was INSANE everybody was going absolutely crazy to it esp during the chorus and jooheon’s “excuse my charisma"s!!! after the ment they performed party time and we had this fan project and the people in my area had yellow cellophane on their phone lights and the people in the back had green ones (brazilian colors) and we had them on during the entirety of party time bc they mention brazil in the song and it was just so 🥰🥰🥰 such a vibe! one of the only songs i actually danced to lol party time was next and also a ~vibe~ we all danced a lot to it and after it was over, during the ment, hw asked mh to sing a little of it for us and he was sooo happy to see us sing along and sing the entire chorus even after he had stopped! it was super cute to see him smile so proudly like that. and then it was the loml, my fave mx song, a booty call anthem that somehow moves my heart, miss mohae and as soon as i heard the first few beats i SCREAMED and i was the only one doing that before everybody else realized the song had already started but i didnt even have time to be embarrassed bc i was literally tearing up. honestly hearing it live was one of the best moments of my life bc i have this huge emotional attachment to the song and it was just all super special, i was screaming the lyrics at the top of my lungs and dancing and jumping and yelling. seeing kyun’s rap live was amazing and you could actually SEE how proud he was seeing so many people sing a song HE composed you know? he let us rap most of his part bc he was just in awe and wanted to see us sing it back to him. and hyungwon tried to rap jooheon’s part but he got it all messed up halfway through it was SO CUTE and jooheon had an arm around him and was BEAMING WITH LOVE the entire time 😍😍😍 everyone was fonding HARD at him. and the crowd was SO loud during the "don’t kill my vibe, i be on your way, i be, i be on your way” part it was actually deafening. i only recorded one of the choruses bc i wanted to enjoy the rest of the song but here it is! the next song was one of the other lomls, miss jealousy!!! it was absolutely STUNNING!! and yes the crowd went crazy when wonho mentioned shownu and yes that hyungwon+changkyun part IS as overwhelming to experience irl as it looks. after the youtuber vcr came the unit stages and oh. my. god  mh, hw and kh came out first and it was just. so sexy and elegant. and the vocals? 10/10 LOVED that men in suit shit. then was jooheon's and changkyun's stage and HOLY. FUCKIN. SHIT. absolutely my favorite performance of the night it was EVERYTHING to me. the energy was super fuckin cool and we were all jumping around and screaming while they rapped in sexy robes over a cool ass beat it was awesome. in the middle of the performance joo tried to flip a water bottle (???) and he actually failed lol but we were so hype we didnt even notice/care we just hyped him TF up. he later apologized for it during the next ment and the real time translator lady said "desculpa" ("sorry") and changkyun said "yeah, desgupa" immediately after 🥺 then jooheon had a drum solo which ??????? i had zero fucking idea about i was just kinda standing there in shock while he absolutely murdered that drum set right in front of our eyes. AND THEN ck came back and started to rap along to his drumming and i know im saying this a lot but it was SEXY okay i have no other words they were both in muscle tees just out there being their sexiest selves UGH. and AS IF THAT WASN'T ENOUGH then came wonho and shownu's stage and uhhhhhhh wow. SEXY AS WELL but also kinda angsty? idk but i loved it they absolutely killed it with the dance and they were wearing see through shirts and the crowd went insane. after that there were the songs i didn't listen to a lot or liked before the concert but they were all still amazing to me!! honestly, i do love u, white sugar and no reason were all SUPER cute!! AND THEN. miss myself came on and oh my god. it was a spiritual experience to see it live. absolutely amazing and breathtaking even though it's so simple. like it's just so elegant and moving. i had to close my eyes a couple times to feel the moment and it was an amazing sensation. also!! a few girls gave us free banners to lift after kihyun's high note and they said 주변을 돌아봐 내겐 다 너니까 꿈이 아냐 (shownu's line, "turn and look around, because you're everything to me this isn't a dream") and it was SO emotional to see a sea of these red banners showing them our love!! 

it was amazing AND THEN. dramarama oh my god it was so freakinggggg cool! to see the performance live, jooheon milly rocking right in front of my eyes... amazing. everyone went insane during rapline's first part. one of my fave performances for sure!! next song after the ment was oh my and IT WAS AMAZING!! the choreo was just stunning and the energy!! everyone was just jumping around and screaming the lyrics, esp kihyun's line before the last chorus!! and im absolutely obsessed with the choreo, honestly. then special and fallin' were SO COOL, just like the other upbeat songs, the energy was amazing, everyone was jumping around and screaming the lyrics. fallin' was especially hype as hell and minhyuk did this funny low voice dkjskdkd then it was alligator and listen. i hated it when it came out but when they performed it i had never loved a song so much in my life. it was CLEAR it was one of the performances they were working the hardest on and their talents were really shining through 😔 i had ki and shownu tunnel vision unfortunately i missed kyun's iconic hip thrusts sksjdks but theres always next year i guess! so they had just convinced us it was their last song but after a few mins hyungwon came back out and we met H.One hehe i didnt think i would like it bc i thought it would be mostly edm and i dont really like edm but it was just some really good remixes?? he played taki taki and mi gente and everybody went fuckin insane like i remember my knee hurting super bad during this part and he was just. chilling on the stage sjejdjsk BUT THEN CAME THE TRUE GO CRAZY AAHHHH GO STUPID MOMENT OF THE CONCERT: RODEO. boy was it a fuckin ride. truly the time to fuckin wild out at an mx concert. i think it was during this song that minhyuk (?) put a brazilian flag around jooheon's shoulders so we were even more hype!! last song was by my side and it was super calm and bittersweet and like a "goodbye, ily" song :( we had these paper hearts someone gave us and we kept them up for them during the entire song, it was so lovely

the hi touch: ok so the concert ended and we waited around 50 mins for the ht event to start and we were all in a single line that went behind a curtain and THEY WERE ALREADY BEHIND THE CURTAIN SO THERE WAS NO WAY TO PREPARE FOR IT KDJDJDJD they were all standing behind a table and on the other side of the table was some of their staff on a single line to keep people from taking pictures of them and we had to go through the line of staff and the table to see them/touch their hands. it was SUPER rushed i dont think i spent 3 seconds there. my brain absolutely froze bc it was my first time at a hi touch (or first time meeting a celebrity, ever) and it was like 7 people i love and admire all at once so i couldn't manage to say more than "hi" to them and just look at them in shock and i was going faster as they (staff) told me to go faster (stupid) but they were also telling us to use only one hand and not touch their hand with both of ours but fuck that lol so in general they are all real people which is insane??? but also they ARE all SO much more beautiful in real life. like they literally glow. my friends told me they would seem taller and skinnier than i thought but i honestly didnt have the time or the brains to think about that or notice any of that. hyungwon IS tall as fuck though

kihyun: just my luck, my first bias was the first one of the line. as i walked behind the curtain there was a taller girl in front of me in line so i couldn't see much so i had like no time to process anything ksjskdks as soon as i saw it was him i went "oh my god, hi" (yes in english bc i know he understands basic english and doesn't speak portuguese lol) and he was SO sweet like it was literally half a second but his face softened and he said "hiiii" back and gave me the sweetest smile :( hes an angel on earth and i can prove it ok. hi touch aside, he's VERY confident onstage and also VERY greasy lmao he was shooting greasy stuff at us left and right and we ATE IT ALL UP. but he's also incredibly sweet and funny but like we been knew. every time he said something greasy he would expectantly wait for the lady to finish translating so he could see our reaction and afterwards he ALWAYS had that smile where he gets those dimples below his eyes :( he's one of the most talkative members!

shownu: mistre hyunwoo was second in the line and i was still in shock from seeing the loml so all i said was "hi" and he honestly seemed confused that i, a brazilian, was trying to speak english to him, a korean DJJSKDKD but he said hi very quick and had this small smile. he's taller than he seems?? i think? at least onstage and he's also very bashful no matter what he's saying lol unless it's serious stuff like him agreeing with wonho during the ending ment

wonho: ok so i dont remember the order exactly after the first two bc i started to like. have brain death but i THINK it was wonho but i saw him VERY quickly. idk if it's bc i saw him right after shownu or if he was bending forward or what but he's actually shorter than i thought he was. he had the HUGEST smile on his face and was super excited to say hi back to my dumbstruck face lol he's also?? surprisingly commanding?? like he's not imposing or anything bc he's super gentle but he told us to be quiet while he was speaking (.......lol) bc we were screaming and when he started to speak again this group of girls continued screaming and he looked at them DIRECTLY, FROM THE STAGE, IN THE MIDDLE OF THE MENT, POINTED AT THEM and deadass went "i have already told you to be quiet twice" and everyone was like??? in shock bc we didn't know if he was serious so we were just like 😳😳😮😮 it was very bizarre honestly a surreal moment to see wonho talk like that to any monbebe ever (for the record im not saying he was rude or anything, it was just very surprising to see that happen). i clearly remember these 3 older ladies referring to him as "primo" ("cousin") for some reason during the entire concert and idk why but that's so funny to me? it's kinda stuck in my mind now im gonna start calling him primo. he ripped his shirt off a total of two (2) different times, maybe three, one of them unprompted and unrequested, during a slow song. love that for him

hyungwon: oh boy. here we go. when my friends told me he was the most different one irl and that he was incredibly prettier i was like ok and then i saw him on the stage and was like yeah alright he's a little different but nothing too exceptional but holy. crap. he was never my type but when i saw him face to face i think my mind literally blacked out. like my body was still functioning but my mind just completely shut down when i saw him smiling at me and saying hi. like that didn't happen with kihyun, one of my ULTIMATE BIASES, but it happened when i saw HIM, that's how beautiful he is. im not using any of these words lightly, but he's beautiful, pretty, stunning, overwhelmingly handsome, an angel. he's just indescribable. his hair is so long and pretty and his face is just so soft and beautiful and he has the prettiest looking lips. has heavy vampire boyfriend vibes also. one of the quietest members, i barely have any pics of him bc he was rarely ever on the big screen bc he didnt say much. tall as hell too

minhyuk: listen i am SO SAD about this i was so overwhelmed by hyungwon's face my mind completely blanked when i got to minnie and i have no idea what i did, i don't even know if i said anything or if i just stared at him dumbfounded sjejjdjsd i have no recollection of his face at ALL like my mind was not able to process anything after hyungwon BUT i know he is pretty as hell (wbk) and he's also even sexier on stage!! like his presence and his moves are just very sensual and he is one of the most talkative ones too! we already know that but he is SUPER funny he never missed an opportunity to do something completely bizarre i just love that funky lil cowboy HE HAD A COWBOY HAT OVER HIS CAP DURING RODEO AND HE ALSO WORE THE FUNNIEST BRAZILIAN FLAG SUNGLASSES DURING HIS ENDING MENT HERE HE IS

jooheon: yall. he is SO. so so so SOOOO much prettier irl like he doesn't LOOK any different like hyungwon does but he's just even more beautiful up close and he also looks taller than i pictured? his whole face was just lit up seeing us and he was super excited to be saying hi to me it was so sweet :( like i am actually even more in love with him now after experiencing that i even dreamed about him that night lmao and oh god I cant even describe how cute his eyesmile + dimple combo is irl 😔😔😔 he talked a lot too and he literally speaks in POUT whenever he said something most of the time it sounded like he was whining it was so cute jdjdjfjd but when he's performing he's a BEAST his stage presence is un-fucking-paralleled he definitely has the strongest one in the group. his mere being there just commands you to pay attention to him in awe it's just very inexplicable. he's just super cute and nice and an angel 

changkyun: oh god I didn't wanna write about my experience with him during the hi touch jsjsjdjs but im gonna try to keep this as neutral as possible. so after i got to jooheon he was the last in line (which was my ideal situation, my two biases - ki and him - in opposite ends so even if i did freeze when i saw one id have time to get over it before the other one) and when i got to him he didn't look at my face, he was looking at the beginning of the line (???) for some reason, so even though i grabbed his hand and said hi i dont remember if he even said it back and i didn't get to look him in the eyes like all the others, which made me really angry as soon as i walked out and then really upset bc i spent 110 reais to see them and one of my two faves didn't look at me when i was right in front of him, but u know it is what it is. i dont think he did it on purpose or that he's an asshole or anything like that, it's just something that happened and upset me. but aside from that, the thing that stuck with me the most out of the entire concert: HE IS INCREDIBLY!!! SEXIER IN REAL LIFE like all my friends who saw mx say hyungwon is the most different but for me it was kyun. he's SO MUCH MORE HANDSOME than in the internet, pictures really do not do him justice. and he has this really hot careless, cool guy attitude in general, like when they/we were hyping him up bc of mohae he was like 🤙🏼 he stared at the floor a lot while the others were talking and like. he knows he's hot thats VERY clear lmao. he's surprisingly talkative. he's very effortless with his moves when he's dancing and that's not saying he doesn't put in effort he just makes it seem so. easy and nicely flowing idk. he was wearing a cap during the hi touch and holy fucking hell he has the nicest profile ive ever seen. thats all

sidenote: PLEASE be careful when camping days before a concert or even hours. a LOT of the people who had spent too much time in line to be closer to the stage had to leave the concert halfway through bc they were literally about to pass out after having spent so much time with poor sleep and unhealthy eating/drinking. enjoy your concert but also take care of yourselves!!

[baebbaeby]

(B.A.P) Boyfriend!Zelo

my sugar pie honey bunch I love this boy

Seeing him grow from his little 15 year old self to now makes my heart hurt okay LET’S DO THIS

I think it would take him a little while to get to know someone really well to be able to date them

obviously he could have a crush on someone he doesn’t really know but to be fully comfortable with putting his feelings on the table he’d have to know them really well or at least for a good amount of time

He’s definitely not as shy as he used to be but i still think he’s a little bit reserved at first

but the more you both open up to each other the sweeter it will be uwu

I feel like the type of friends Junhong makes are friends for LIFE he’s like man we ride or die 

and i think that would translate into his relationship as well

I think yall would like casually start becoming just, pillars for each other? idk how to explain it other than the word CONSTANT you know? you’d just always be there for each other

and it wouldn’t even occur to you guys that it was happening it would just be natural like ‘yeah ____ sits with me almost every night in the studio while they do their schoolwork, so what?’

‘____ and i are gonna get ice cream’

‘____ and I were out walking mochi and the craziest thing happened!!’

and you guys would just so genuinely enjoy your time together

but because it was so natural I don’t think either of you would notice that you had feelings

until one day you’re texting junhong that you feel down and next thing you know he shows up with a care package full of food and is like let’s play games and watch movies so you feel better

and then you realize your heart is beating super fast and you’re like “oh....oh...”

and for him I think it would be as simple as him looking at you while you’re not paying attention, then you noticing his gaze, smiling at him and then going back to whatever it was you were doing

that would make his heart race and make him realize how much he LIKED you even more than just as a friend

I think after both of you realizing your feelings it would get a little awkward cause you both don’t want to overthink it

but i also think he’d be afraid of ruining the friendship too if he felt like maybe it was one-sided

but since he has loads of older friends and his members to look up to, he would definitely go to them for advice and encouragement

and while you guys would still do your regular hangouts, i think he’d want to do something a little extra/different if he was going to confess to you

like i mean it in a super simple way instead of walking mochi during the day at the park he’d ask you to go at night or something

idk im imagining a place with walkways and fairy lights that has interesting stuff to look at but is also calm enough for the lil pup mochi so maybe there’s a path by a river to walk on that would be cute too

a small thing like this makes it so its still your usual walk with him but now it has a romantic feeling? so when he does this you can kind of tell that he’s going to confess

unless you’re like me in that case you would have no clue no matter what aha

and he’d confess casually while you guys were sitting on a bench looking at the river

i don’t think he’d be able to look at your face though i think he’d have to say it while looking at Mochi hahaha

and then you’d say you felt the same

and he’d be like “really?!” dhsjsanj

I think the tough part at first would be trying to be romantic when you guys had been friends

but then you’d both realize you guys were being pretty romantic/couple-y before anyway so you could stop overthinking it dammit!!

the great part about this though is that you guys could be really honest about it i think

like the first time he holds your hand while walking with you and Mochi

you’d both get really flustered

but you’d both be able to say to each other like “wow i’m so flustered why?! ahhhh” and tease each other a little bit

and then he’d tell you he liked the feeling of your hand in his  bhjhbhds

anyway i see a relationship filled with laughter with this boy

cause yall know he’s weird

in that cute weird way

where he does random stuff just to make you laugh

I honestly have no idea if this boy is experienced or not now

but i think one of his struggles would be balancing putting you or himself first

obviously im not saying he’s selfish or anything its far from that

i just think he’d struggle to see where the line is on putting someone first and doing stuff for them but also doing stuff for you

i mean if its a good relationship in the first place you guys would resolve that because you’d both encourage the other to do stuff that they wanted to do

that being said, it kinda makes it seem like he’d take you for granted BUT THATS NOT WHAT IM SAYING AT ALL GET THAT OUT OF YOUR MIND OK

cause this boy would think about you all the damn time

like how i said before you guys were just consistent in each others lives you’d be consistent in his head too he’d always be thinking about ‘oh they would like this’ or ‘i can’t wait to tell them this’

you can tell junhong has loads of respect and admiration for people that have passion

so if you were really passionate about something i think he’d love that about you and would be super interested in it no matter what it was

but i think this could kind of put you on a pedestal for him? and then he’d have a moment where he forgets that you’re also human, and we make mistakes

but i think if something like this were to happen, he’d easily realize his own mistake and honestly, if he saw how you grew and learned from yours he’d be like YES THAT IS MY S/O!! I LOVE YOU!!

okok let’s get into the cutesy stuff now

he would blush if you have a cute nickname for him hands down

even just calling him ‘baby’ he’d be like omg uwu

and then if you called him a cute name when the members are around he’d be like uwuwuwu shhhh but uwuwuwu

and then the members would all awe bc he’s the baby and he’s so cute

except jongup

jongup would be like ew

ANYWAYS

YOU BET THIS BOY HAS CUDDLE MOODS

He’d just randomly come from behind you and back hug you tightly, probably pulling you and collapsing both of you onto the couch or something

and just WRAPPING his long ass body around yours

curling your hair around his fingers

just admiring you

uwu

I also think that he would have a thing for your hands

i think he’d love to play with them whenever he could

even just holding your pinky or something idk he seems like he’d do cute stuff like that

like just kissing all your fingers one by one 

and just intertwining his fingers with yours all the time

i also think he’d have a HUGE thing for having his hand on your leg/thigh

IDK WHY IM JUST A FIRM BELIEVER THAT HE’D ALWAYS WANT HIS HAND ON YOUR THIGH NO MATTER WHAT

LIKE NOT EVEN SEXUALLY OR ANYTHING

IT’S JUST A VERY WARM SPOT plus his hands are big so no matter the size of your thighs he can still cover a good amount of area

and he’d probably pat your thighs a lot too

and then use them as a drum set

and then go back to just calmly and casually having his hand on your thigh

I don’t think he’d be super affectionate with kissing as much as he would be with the rest of his body

he’d love giving you hugs and obviously he’d be touching your hands and thighs a lot

but i think he’d low key like it if you showered him in kisses

to me though he doesn’t seem like one to do that back unless he’s in a super cuddly mood and he’s trying to tickle you by kissing you or something

HONEST TO GOD I THINK HE’D LOVE COUPLE CLOTHES

LIKE AESTHETIC FASHIONABLE COUPLE CLOTHES

HE’D DIE HE’D LOVE IT

I just think he’d be super excited to have someone he could share his work and happiness with obviously he has his friends and members and family to do that with too

but it’s definitely different when you’re in a relationship

i think he’d love to explore new things and places with you, even places he’s been before cause it would be a whole new experience with you

he’d probably like to document it too with a camera and have cute little personal vlogs that you guys could just watch back from time to time fjdknj

for some reason i have a hard time thinking about sexy stuff with him

im a pretty soft person tho sooo thats probably just me

but i also just thought about his pillow talk solo stage and hjfdk

so i really think what he does depends on his mood

so if he’s you know, feeling it

he gets real intense and its honestly kind of shocking?? but in a good way?? like oh my gOD i forgot you have this side to you

i dont think the word to describe it would be rough but more intense?? 

especially if you tease him or something he’d definitely get intense

i think he’d have a weakness if you sat on his lap/straddled him tbh [insert eye emojis]

and you know how i said he liked your thighs? he still really likes your thighs if you catch my driFT

I think it would stay intense until you guys are done

and he’d just collapse and laugh or grin into your neck making you giggle because it tickles

he’d probably end up holding your hand as he’s sleeping?? i mean since his body is so big anyway some part of him is probably going to be touching you anyway

but i think he’d love to either hold your hand, have his hand on some part of you somewhere or have your hand on him

he would just ;;;; love you a whole lot okay

OKAY THIS IS GETTING KIND OF LONG IM GONNA END IT HERE NOW

ANYWAYS JUNHONG IS A PRECIOUS HARDWORKING BOY WHO PUTS HIS HEART AND SOUL INTO EVERYTHING AND IS SO POSITIVE UGH GO STAN MY KINGS BAP

[raefill]

I would legit love to hear you answers to every single question. I don't know if you feel like actually doing them all, but if you did... I'm JUST SAYING I'D READ THE ANSWERS, ok.

1: Is there a boy/girl in your life?Yeaaaah but my romantic prospects are pretty bleak tbh, I graduate and move away in a few months

2: Think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them?No, not really. But I’m not mad about it anymore.

3: What do you think of when you hear the word “meow?”CUTE BABY CLOSE BY !!!!!!!!!

4: What’s something you really want right now?to cry, i’m having the big sads

5: Are you afraid of falling in love?always

6: Do you like the beach?i love the beach!!!!!!!!! i grew up in a seaside town, the beach feels like the best parts of home

7: Have you ever slept on a couch with someone else?yes ?? it was cramped and uncomfortable 

8: What’s the background on your cell?the photo of me, san, kahl, chez, frau, bagel and spags in the louvre

9: Name the last four beds you were sat on?mine(right now), Thea’s, Lizzie’s, .. Keir’s?

10: Do you like your phone?yeah but i’d like it more if the screen wasn’t so cracked

11: Honestly, are things going the way you planned?lol no, it’s definitely not

12: Who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts?i genuinely don’t remember !

13: Would you rather have a poodle or a Rottweiler?rottweiler, i love dogs that look a little mean but have big hearts

14: Which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?pffffft, that’s hard to answer but i’d say generally emotional, most of the time it’s harder to get rid of emotional pain

15: Would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum?both ?! i want to support the breeding of endangered animals that happens in zoos and see the cute animals but also i love a good rembrandt ?!

16: Are you tired?exhausted

17: How long have you known your 1st phone contact?since i was born

18: Are they a relative?my mother!

19: Would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes?not a fucking chance

20: When did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with?a few hours ago, i think

21: If you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today?i don’t believe there’s a way to know nor do i think love works that way

22: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?hell yeah i would

23: How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now?none!

24: Is there a certain quote you live by?“if you make bad choices, own them” - my dad 

25: What’s on your mind?god, everything, idk im having a high key anxiety day

26: Do you have any tattoos?one pretty big one on my thigh

27: What is your favorite color?black !!!!!!!!!!

28: Next time you will kiss someone on the lips?maybe tomorrow, we’ll see how it goes

29: Who are you texting?uhhh, no one? everyone is asleep

30: Think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch?yes

31: Have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right?all the time, my gut rarely lies

32: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?yes, his name is keir and he’s one of my best friends

33: Do you think anyone has feelings for you?i mean i’m dating someone so i fucking hope so

34: Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?no ? i dont think ? i’ve had people say they’re big or the colour is interesting but idk

35: Say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you?i’d cheer her on

36: Were you single on Valentines Day?yes

37: Are you friends with the last person you kissed?yes!

38: What do your friends call you?rae ?

39: Has anyone upset you in the last week?yes

40: Have you ever cried over a text?pffft, yah

41: Where’s your last bruise located?my knee

42: What is it from?i fell over my own computer chair

43: Last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad?today

44: Who was the last person you were on the phone with?my mum, i think

45: Do you have a favourite pair of shoes?not right now, most i just wear my plain black docs

46: Do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day?no, i just tie is back

47: Would you ever go bald if it was the style?no, i really dont like my ears, idk why

48: Do you make supper for your family?yeah, my mum and step dad can’t cook

49: Does your bedroom have a door?ofc it does? what kind of bedroom doesn’t have a door? get these pretentious loft bedrooms out of my face

50: Top 3 web-pages?tumblr, ao3, youtube

51: Do you know anyone who hates shopping?plenty!

52: Does anything on your body hurt?period pains are all the rage today

53: Are goodbyes hard for you?yeah but i don’t tend to cry until they’ve already left so i look like i take them just fine

54: What was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?water......... this morning

55: How is your hair?fine? a bit damaged from the cold weather

56: What do you usually do first in the morning?wish i was still asleep

57: Do you think two people can last forever?yes

58: Think back to January 2007, were you single?i dont fucking know

59: Green or purple grapes?GREEN or get out of my face

60: When’s the next time you will give someone a BIG hug?tomorrow~

61: Do you wish you were somewhere else right now?yes

62: When will be the next time you text someone?tomorrow!

63: Where will you be 5 hours from now?probably in bed still, but asleep

64: What were you doing at 8 this morning.sleeping

65: This time last year, can you remember who you liked?no, i was getting over the end of a four year relationship

66: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?no

67: Did you kiss or hug anyone today?no

68: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?this sucks

69: Have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?many times

70: How many windows are open on your computer?ten! and they’re mostly your fics corey, go figure

71: How many fingers do you have?ten

72: What is your ringtone?i dont know, my phone is always on silent

73: How old will you be in 5 months?22 ~

74: Where is your Mum right now?sleeping in bed probably, idfk, she lives hours away

75: Why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love?we grew up and grew apart but we were still okay until i had about four-six months of depression where i had to stop myself from doing something stupid daily and he didn’t notice despite us living together and sharing a bedroom (and those times i told him and he shrugged)

76: Have you held hands with somebody in the past three days?yes

77: Are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago?yes! i still love them very much

78: Do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7?annabelle

79: Is there anyone you know with the name Mike?yes, there’s some grad students in the psych department called mike, they all look kinda the same too

80: Have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?yeah, i miss being able to do that regularly

81: How many people have you liked in the past three months?more than i can count, my polyamorous ass has a crush on about seven people currently

82: Has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days?no

83: Will you talk to the person you like tonight?i’m talking to one of them

84: You’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?i’d literally never do this

85: If your BF/GF was into drugs would you care?depends which drugs and how often, no one cares about a joint every few months

86: What was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie?i spilled my popcorn and managed to hide that i had spilled it from my date pahaha

87: Who was your last received call from?my mum, wow it sounds like i talk to my mum a lot more than i do

88: If someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you?yes, i hate bugs, give me the money

89: What is something you wish you had more of?time, energy, patience, money

90: Have you ever trusted someone too much?no, i’m not someone who trusts easily

91: Do you sleep with your window open?only in the summer

92: Do you get along with girls?yes, anyone that doesn’t get on with someone because of their gender is an asshole

93: Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?nope

94: Does sex mean love?hell no, it can be an expression of it but no

95: You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?yeah she wold be freaking the fuck out because she’s locked in a room!

96: Have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring?no, actually, i haven’t

97: Did you sleep alone this week?yes

98: Everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you?yes ? 

99: Do you believe in love at first sight?no, not at all

100: Who was the last person that you pinky promise?one of my besties, holly

[thisisabouta]

This is About a... Nail in the Coffin.

Quarantine Day #44.

I quit my job yesterday. Well, technically I put in my two weeks notice but either way, I’m done. Nothing felt right there. The second I walked in to talk to my boss, I felt this huge wave of anxiety and things just started coming back to me... I’m genuinely surprised that he was upset and tearing up when I told him.

I know with the associates there will be... mixed reviews. And then after a very short while, it will be as if I was never there. Except when they get together and talk shit about all the former bosses they’ve had in that store. It may sound like a reach but I was a part of some of those conversations, so I know it happens. It does hurt knowing that some of the people there will always have a negative opinion of me. I also know it was highly unlikely that I was going to change those opinions.

It is sad in a way, to go out this “discreetly” but the alternative was worse. It’s just me now though. I still have a part time job thank God but that also won’t be fully up and running again until the quarantine is over. I’m fully relying on myself. I am literally banking on myself and that is insane. This transitional period though.... this shit is fucking awful.

When the whispers started about there being store closures due to a virus that was going around, I was worried about my health but my immediate thought was “I hope we close!” I was quietly waiting while loudly expressing my panic over dying from this shit (once I fully understood what it was). My panic lessened over time and we received our notice to close. I couldn’t wait to burrow myself in my room but so far, this shit has been fucking tragic. I like being alone (for the most part) but this is a lot of social distancing, even for me. And it’s not that I need to be in a store, around customers but it was nice to vent to my coworkers from time to time. At certain times of my retail career, my job was killing me while simultaneously saving me. It was my only purposeful creative outlet for a long time. It’s just unfortunate that that’s what I put ALL of my attention into.

Now I have to start over. Which is what I wanted but now my starting over involves being confined to a two bedroom apartment with my roommate. We’re not getting along, to say the least. As of right now, I’m not even sure if we’re still friends. I don’t know if we’ve actually been friends this whole time. Somethings always been off and like I do with most situations, I see the good in people and I run with it. The way our friendship started was not ideal in the slightest. If you have to hide that you’re spending time with someone, that’s a sign. We ignored all of them and here we are. I don’t even want to be in my own apartment.

In first few weeks of the quarantine, I lost around ten pounds and dropped back down to a size four without any exercising. My journey of not eating meat hasn’t been rough but there were no instant changes. Like with most diets, you have to wait for the result so I had that mindset but I’m also not sure what result I was actually looking for. Initially, I became Pescatarian because I was going off of my Lamotrigine and I was looking into more Hollistic ways to help myself. That is also why I started smoking weed. I can’t speak on how much it’s helped my mood but my whole body changed.

When I lost the weight though, it was happening at an almost abnormal pace. And then my appetite completely disappeared. I felt exactly how I did when I was in jail. I had half a slice of bread in a three day period. I was so stressed out [and what I believe to be disassociating] that food didn’t look like food to me. Smells weren’t registering. I could barely chew. Now that I’ve gone through it again, I can’t pinpoint what triggered it. I wasn’t stressed about the ban because my company was [is] still paying me and I don’t take that for granted but something was definitely wrong with me.

I started breaking out constantly and that is not normal for me. My period completely reset so it was two weeks late and that was terrifying. And then I got Sausage digit, which I hate typing because the word just feels gross. It was my pinky on my right hand. When I woke up that morning, I knew something was wrong with my hand immediately. My finger was just red and partially swollen at that point but it progressively got worse. It got to the point that I was seriously considering going to the doctor but they would’ve turned me away due to the overcrowding in hospitals right now. I basically came to the conclusion that it was either SD, Celiac disease or just a pinched nerve. There was also a slight possibility that I jammed it into a wall and sprained it. It’s happened before and the only reason I know is because of the damage that was left behind. But eventually I figured out it was SD.

It went away after a day and a half but it was painful and completely out of nowhere. It was hard to sleep that night though. There were articles about it potentially getting so bad that my finger would need to be amputated. I was way in my head on this one but the physical aspects were extremely scary. Along with only being able to eat when I’m high, the beginning of this was not a good time for me. I locked myself in my room for a week [five days] and things just got worse from there. My roommate didn’t know how to deal with it so I was inadvertently hurting someone while trying to heal myself. That’s a difficult thought for me to process. When we discussed it however, she was clear to let me know she didn’t need to know “for her” if I was okay, she just didn’t know how dark it could get”... Ok. Well thank you for being sure to let me know that you’re not “doing it for you”. That kinda sounds to me like you don’t care and if you don’t care, then why are we having this conversation.

I also had a “speed walking, back and forth while petting the cat, listening to music and crying” day and other unfortunate days in between. Now on Day #45, I have to navigate my way through the wreckage from a very heated argument between my roommate and myself. It was the fight that I knew was going to happen eventually but I wasn’t prepared for it. She brought up how I constantly judge her, I am part of the reason why she quit her job (when we worked together), she doesn’t like the music I listen to even though she’s pretended to enjoy it this entire time, she doesn’t like that I tell her when I have a bad feeling about someone she’s dating. She made it clear that she needs to “make her own mistakes” and my issue with that is her thinking someone is trying to stop her. I might pass you a friendly warning when you’ve been arrested once tor drinking and driving once I have three DUIs but maybe that’s on me. Maybe I need to mind my own business. But if that’s what I need to do, then don’t ask me for my opinion about anything ever again.

The argument that turned into a conversation was about four or five hours long and I can’t remember what started it exactly. I do know however that I’m the one who initiated it. I made an honest statement about something and it was the wrong move. Everything went downhill from there. I said almost everything I had been thinking in the past year or so. I told her there’s no mutual respect between us. I made her a part of my life and when she was bored with me, she went and hung out with other people instead. Fine. All of this worked around her new relationship so I wasn’t going to tell her not to hang out with her girlfriend. Do whatever the fuck you want but do not say shit to me about me not hanging out with you when you’ve ditched me numerous times.

We also talked about her work review. The horrible fucking review I gave her when she was my associate. It was honest and blunt and she cried over it in the office that day, twice. It’s one of the things we don’t talk about but I think I’m the one who brought it up. Again, I kept digging. She asked me what I’m getting out of the friendship and I don’t know if I had answer for that. She did when I asked her but she kept coming back to the fact that “I see something in her that no one else sees”. I don’t know how much weight that holds when I upset you more than I motivate you. It’s something to her. It might be nothing to me.

We talked about how we avoid each other, we don’t help each other when we’re sick, she’s one way with me and different with everyone else, how Im tired of constantly being the one to push things forward... all of the shit I told myself was going to come out eventually. Why should I have to deal with this shit at home? It’s like I literally can’t escape my problems. Mix that with a two month long quarantine and it’s fucking awful. Right now, I’m trying to decide if I want to talk this out today or just leave it alone. A part of me is hoping that she forgot most of it. Who the fuck knows.

[deductionfreak]

wulf watches conan falls over a cliff, the musical

feat presume and patsu, who accompanied me on this shitfest

新一 ☆-Today at 01:35

sees preview oh boy its one of those 'haibara is the only competent one' aos isnt it dreads next part sigh yyyyep it is another good premise ruined at least the police are semi competent tho seriously tho why go alone just mghghghgh conan as well just places face in hands why do u do this @ writers esp bcthey should have noticed that cave at the cliff

犯人の灰原さん-Today at 01:35

face > hand

新一 ☆-Today at 01:35

re cops like all this feels like it hinges on four fucking boats missing a gotdamn cave boats CRAWLING W COPS LOOKING FOR STUFF IN THE WATER just LONG SIGH

Rancrow 🎃-Today at 01:36

doesn megure like tell them to look in the morning Kogoro is like NO

新一 ☆-Today at 01:37

they do it rigth away

Rancrow 🎃-Today at 01:37

NOW

新一 ☆-Today at 01:37

yea kogoro says no now and like i can understand why he'd wait for the morning, the seas at night are fucking inky black it looks like a tar pit its very hard to spot anyone but they'd have seen a goddamn cave FOUR BOATS

Rancrow 🎃-Today at 01:38

ye

新一 ☆-Today at 01:38

AND THEY KEPT SEARCHING TILL MORN THEY WOUDL HAVE SEEN THE FUCKIN CAVE im just shakes fist it sets itself up okay then goes for shit tropes like 'cops cant see shit' and 'the competent chara who is not the mc™ goes off on their own' plus 'conan tells no one but haib he survived for NO FUCKIN G REASON'

Rancrow 🎃-Today at 01:39

ye the second part was like wtf

新一 ☆-Today at 01:39

first part was intense second part was shit the whole stunt w the belt too lfmao the more i watch the worse it gets i want to file my Big and Long complaint, see reason why im scared to do a case myself unless i have it planned out: this happens cc is like..........my one mistake that i will not repeat most of yall dont know the story for that tho his reasons to not tell anyone else dont make sense like its fine that they want the bandits to think the guy is dead but not the police??? his friends??? this is just so much bullshiti need a drink I KNOW IM ALWAYS BITCHING ABT THIS STUFF BUT ITS BC ITS BAD

Rancrow 🎃-Today at 01:51

,,,       *refills the salt shaker* continue

新一 ☆-Today at 01:51

omg and of course haibara has no complaints about LETTING THEM THINK THEY ARE DEAD whats this about having the police force wrapped around your pinkie? i dont know them lit when he could have made THE MOST USE OF THE POLICE FRIENDS HE HAS LIKE U KNOW WARN THEM OF THE PLANNED ROBBERY BC APPARENTLY THIS WAS A SLOTTED PLAN BEFORE and then'explain to them later' >just the db >not lit everyone you love who thinks you fucking died well not really but w using the comp they rbought they lit know where the next hit will be you arent gonna use your cop buddies? REALLY? redeeming trait: they do fuckin call the cops

Rancrow 🎃-Today at 01:56

refills the salt shaker again just in case -img of conan tantrum on table-

新一 ☆-Today at 01:58

me tbh

Rancrow 🎃-Today at 01:58

its ok let it go

新一 ☆-Today at 01:59

i hate how so many anime originals that focus on haibara do this to all characters around her tho like you dont need to DUMB THEM DOWN to make her stick out its just bad writing

新一 ☆-Today at 02:00

u can tell when its a manga one instead because the characters at least dont get dumbed down i think the only character gosho has dumbed down to the point where it felt extremely noticable was jodie unfortunately yes i get it writers love salty science child but STOP DESTROYING THE CAST AROUND HER TO MAKE HER SHINE FOR GODS SAKE a a a a a

Rancrow 🎃-Today at 02:01

papapapap

新一 ☆-Today at 02:01

just this is such a prominent problem and then its reflected on the fandom

Rancrow 🎃-Today at 02:01

it is

新一 ☆-Today at 02:01

bc then THEY DO IT TOO

Rancrow 🎃-Today at 02:01

I agree I'm just half asleep

新一 ☆-Today at 02:02

screams into hands i hate this

犯人の灰原さん-Today at 02:04

angrysquint @ staff why th

新一 ☆-Today at 02:04

same wow conan, talking to three big armed men all by yourself

Rancrow 🎃-Today at 02:05

-haibara thumbs down emotes-

新一 ☆-Today at 02:05

another sin and now he's taunting them

犯人の灰原さん-Today at 02:06

,,,,,, k for a moment i read that as talking to three big arms

新一 ☆-Today at 02:06

LFMAO sentient robber arms

犯人の灰原さん-Today at 02:06

ur ran-neechan's already got them big guns no need to look at others

新一 ☆-Today at 02:06

tbh seriously conan confronting three men. Alone. They-re armed.

Rancrow 🎃-Today at 02:07

with a fucking crossbow

新一 ☆-Today at 02:08

and then he tells the man they want to kill to COME IN and then the cops come out of nowhere honestly like they could have shot them both before they got arrested literally esp a guy who shot ppl who -resisted- so why bother w the stunt show??? that made absolutely no sense and then they just give up when there are just three cops three. unarmed. cops ran also nowhere to be seen he just fuckin drops his crossbow and bows like?????????????? this is one sudden character flip an d makes absolutely no sense for all of them what makes more sense? for them to come in to a room full of cops this plan is just flimsy and relies on them not taking potshots at the toddler not to mention them not resisting arrest SOMETHING HE SEEMED TO HAVE NO PROBLEMS WITH WHEN HE SHOT THE COP IN THE FIRST HALF 'you photoshopped them' lfmao the detco constable frozen sigh this little twist at the end wasnt even worth it and was sadly predictable he just fell

children look smug over mantantrum

Rancrow 🎃-Today at 02:16

looking at that makes my knees hurt

新一 ☆-Today at 02:16

same i guess the end was worth it for them being mad at him for doin this fucking bullshit its kinda sad tho bc it felt the emotional investment in their worries and fears was just brushed aside for comedy

Rancrow 🎃-Today at 02:17

yeah kinda just not a good thing to do

新一 ☆-Today at 02:18

im tired of this ao bullshit so ill watch fanboy mitsuhiko later but honestly that was just so underhanded this whole second part just toys with potential and throws it in a firepit then laughs at you for expecting any better it was also my problem w the conan in a coffin one well one of the many the emotional investment was just brushed off haha how funny he forgot to tell everyone else he wa s still f ucking alive best part??? kogoro knew but apparently ran didnt the whole cops knew and we dont even know how they felt about this agasa also and its just what the fuck why cant you even bother to tell them 'im ok but we're hiding' hell just augh it was just plain bad this ao was shit, lads

[dashonkelley]

1-100

holy shit bruh ok… i would do it under a read more but i’m mobile right now so oh well, sorry i’m drunk

1: Is there a boy/girl in your life? sadly no :(

2: Think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them? I can’t remember anything right now sorry

3: What do you think of when you hear the word “meow?” cats?

4: What’s something you really want right now? alcohol and a gf

5: Are you afraid of falling in love? kinda

6: Do you like the beach? Yeah I live near it

7: Have you ever slept on a couch with someone else? I think so yeah

8: What’s the background on your cell? The default pic lol

9: Name the last four beds you were sat on? Mine? Idk the rest

10: Do you like your phone? Yeahhh iPhone 6s

11: Honestly, are things going the way you planned? Of course not but it’s fine

12: Who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts? A girl from my class

13: Would you rather have a poodle or a Rottweiler? Rottweiler

14: Which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain? I’m a baby about both

15: Would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum? Zoo I think

16: Are you tired? Very

17: How long have you known your 1st phone contact? Forever

18: Are they a relative? My mom

19: Would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes? No they’re all boys

20: When did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with? A few months ago

21: If you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today? Probably not

22: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Ew no 23: How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now? None ever

24: Is there a certain quote you live by? Not really

25: What’s on your mind? Tracy spiridakos kissing girls

26: Do you have any tattoos? No but I want some

27: What is your favorite color? Blue!

28: Next time you will kiss someone on the lips? Whenever someone wants to lol

29: Who are you texting? My two best friends

30: Think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch? I sure have

31: Have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right? Always

32: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to? I used to, not really anymore

33: Do you think anyone has feelings for you? lol nope

34: Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes? No they’re brown

35: Say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you? Good for him

36: Were you single on Valentines Day? Yes on purpose

37: Are you friends with the last person you kissed? Yeah I guess

38: What do your friends call you? Hannah, lil han, nugget

39: Has anyone upset you in the last week? Probably

40: Have you ever cried over a text? I don’t think so

41: Where’s your last bruise located? My leg

42: What is it from? Running into my couch

43: Last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad? Yesterday while babysitting

44: Who was the last person you were on the phone with? Girl from my class

45: Do you have a favourite pair of shoes? Oh of course

46: Do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day? Sometimes, not usually

47: Would you ever go bald if it was the style? No

48: Do you make supper for your family? No im useless

49: Does your bedroom have a door? Uh yeah

50: Top 3 web-pages? Idk man

51: Do you know anyone who hates shopping? Yeah me

52: Does anything on your body hurt? My knee hurts

53: Are goodbyes hard for you? Depends on who it is

54: What was the last beverage you spilled on yourself? Beer duh

55: How is your hair? Needs to be washed

56: What do you usually do first in the morning? Brush my teeth

57: Do you think two people can last forever? Sure

58: Think back to January 2007, were you single? Of course, I was 11

59: Green or purple grapes? No grapes

60: When’s the next time you will give someone a BIG hug? Never? Or tomorrow

61: Do you wish you were somewhere else right now? Um maybe

62: When will be the next time you text someone? In a few minutes

63: Where will you be 5 hours from now? Sleeping

64: What were you doing at 8 this morning. Sleeping duh

65: This time last year, can you remember who you liked? A bitchy girl I worked with

66: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile? Does my dog count

67: Did you kiss or hug anyone today? I hugged my mom

68: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night? Thinking about Chicago PD I think 69: Have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? Lol always

70: How many windows are open on your computer? None

71: How many fingers do you have? Ten

72: What is your ringtone? Idk default I think

73: How old will you be in 5 months? 21 🙌🏻

74: Where is your Mum right now? At home

75: Why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love? I’ve never been in love

76: Have you held hands with somebody in the past three days? Nope

77: Are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago? Sure am

78: Do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7? No one I think

79: Is there anyone you know with the name Mike? Like all my family haha

80: Have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms? Nope

81: How many people have you liked in the past three months? No one that’s told me

82: Has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days? Nope

83: Will you talk to the person you like tonight? Sadly no

84: You’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with? I don’t do that

85: If your BF/GF was into drugs would you care? Yeah probably

86: What was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie? My brother got scared lol

87: Who was your last received call from? My best friend

88: If someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you? Probably

89: What is something you wish you had more of? Literally everything

90: Have you ever trusted someone too much? Eh not really

91: Do you sleep with your window open? Nooo

92: Do you get along with girls? I like them a lot

93: Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth? Almost no one knows I’m gay?

94: Does sex mean love? Not necessary, it can

95: You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem? Not really

96: Have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring? Nope

97: Did you sleep alone this week? Yes :(

98: Everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you? Yeah but like, they’re celebrities

99: Do you believe in love at first sight? Not really, no

100: Who was the last person that you pinky promise? Omg idk

[kyohiba]

Xue Yang’s 420 Punishing Reincarnations AU

REINCARNATION AU

but who is he if he doesnt ruin it all tho

ssyifpfff🌙 OH YES

35m 34 minutes ago yeeting patriarch he ruins some stuff but not on the Did Everything Wrong & Ruined Everything level like he did

he could reincarnate n still find song lan bc hes..... basically immortal now

ssyifpfff🌙 n he helps heal xxcs n a-qins soul

34m 33 minutes ago yeeting patriarch like? mass murder of a sect over his pinky? Ok. using the goodness of xiao xingchen and breaking his soul beyond repair?? Too Much

ssyifpfff🌙 yea tht sect was full of dicks tbh but xxc was Angel

33m 33 minutes ago YES

what about xue yang paying off with some reincarnations

with each of them, he learns something

yeeting patriarch and pays for what he did and starts to Realize

ssyifpfff🌙 SLOW BURN CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT ASDFGHJK

32m 31 minutes ago yeeting patriarch in all those reincarnations, he meets painful ends

ssyifpfff🌙 in one of them he goes blind

32m 31 minutes ago but each makes him Learn And Pay

HOLD UP

and then, in the one where he manages to help song lan with the souls of xxc and a-qing

his next one, where the three meet again song lan

HES BLIND

hes still pretty much a petty grudge holding chaotic bastard little shit but with no murder or scheming

but his pay offs didnt end

yeeting patriarch with xxc and a-qing back, he still gotta pay off for what he did

ssyifpfff🌙 once he helps rebuild their souls they should b able to reincarnate too, n they can find each other u___u

29m 28 minutes ago xue yang: *reincarnates again* ayyy wassup song lan song lan: song lan: There We Go Again

wait i think people shouldn't have their past life memories right

yeeting patriarch BUT XUE YANG GETS THEM AS A PART OF HIS PUNISHMENT !?

xue yang in every reincarnation: ah shit here we go again

YES HE NEEDS TO AS PUNISHMENT

WHO PUNISHES HIM??? WE DO

ssyifpfff🌙 GET FUCKED XUE YANG LMAO

26m 25 minutes ago IFENSKSITNESOZFWJKSHS

yeeting patriarch xue yang we love u but u DESERVE

BITCHES GET STITCHES

in one of his reincarnations he trusts some1 n they betray him by killing him

in another one he is born into a loving family but they all get murdered

ssyifpfff🌙 dam thts a lot of years of damage if hes gonna rmmbr them all lmao

23m 22 minutes ago ssyifpfff🌙

22m 21 minutes ago IGEBEKIDTVEKSOZGBSLSUGWKS

It's What He Deserves

it's all for him to Learn

yeeting patriarch learn to accept his punishment, learn about the wrongdoings he did...

ssyifpfff🌙 learn to love back u_u and to accept kindness

20m 19 minutes ago learn to forgive n move on

"i have nvr in my life yelled at a girl like this. whn my mama yell at me its bc she love me. i was rooting for u we were all rooting for u hOW D

ssyifpfff🌙 LEARN FROM THIS"

19m 18 minutes ago the reincarnation he finally meets xiao xingchen again and a-qing he holds grudges like a normal person. and it's just ur average tsundere

yeeting patriarch we cannot wipe out completely the chaotic bastard essence he has

ssyifpfff🌙 DO THEY RECOGNIZE HIM???

18m 17 minutes ago OH MY GOD

yeeting patriarch DO THEY

mayb its like those AUs where they DONT exactly but

they Know theres some1 in there they met once

theres a familiarity

ssyifpfff🌙 he Knows its them tho

17m 16 minutes ago yeeting patriarch it would be Too Cruel for xiao xingchen to remember him...

TRUUUU

GASP Maybe to help xxc n a-qins soul he has to give up his own

ssyifpfff🌙 i mean, give his life

16m 15 minutes ago so they only get that Familiarity Vibe

maybe some fragmented dreams

yeeting patriarch FUKC

ssyifpfff🌙 YESSSS DREAMS

15m 15 minutes ago then, after he gives his own life to help xxc and a-qings souls

the next reincarnation

where the three are all born again

yeeting patriarch he Finally doesnt remember all his past lives

THEY JUST FEEL FAMILIAR TO EACH OTHER

ssyifpfff🌙 Y A S

14m 7 minutes ago there is still stuff for him to go through

he finally paid off most of his punishment

yeeting patriarch THE STRINGS OF FATE BRING THEM TOGETHER

ssyifpfff🌙 oooOOOOOOOH

13m 6 minutes ago yeeting patriarch im so sorry for song lan tho boi deserves his Rest & Fresh New Reincarnation too :(

maybe this time he has to Work to be loved. whn he met xxc he was just accepted w/o question. this time he needs to earn love

yea............. idk how it would work w a fierce corpse

guess he would have to Perish first

oH MAYBE

bc theres 2 souls to heal (xxc and a-qin) there needs to be 2 sacrifices

ssyifpfff🌙 thus song lan needs to Perish n then he can re enter the reincarnation circle

11m 4 minutes ago yeeting patriarch I NEED TO COPY, PASTE & EDIT THIS WHOLE CONVO. WE CANNOT LET THIS AU BE LOST IN OUR DMS

DO IT NYARI SAFE GUARD IT

ssyifpfff🌙 N USE IT TO CONVERT PPL INTO XUE YANG CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT AU

9m 2 minutes ago WE ARE AT IT AGAIN BEING DOGS

GODS******

yeeting patriarch quite literally being gods and doing what we want with the characters fates

DOGS

the only dog here is xue yang lmao

ssyifpfff🌙 if we dont, whos gonna do it????

4m 6 seconds ago OH ALSO

in all those punishing reincarnations, xue yang has quite a short lifespan

yeeting patriarch he never lives up his 30s

he has to die at more or less the same age as in his first go

so yea not to his 30s

ssyifpfff🌙 "he has to die" lmao sorry boi.............

3m 4 seconds ago how old was xue yang again

hes quite young right

yeeting patriarch on his 20s

ssyifpfff🌙 :/ im not sure

2m yeeting patriarch let's make it up he wont reach the 30s and it's ok

YEA LMAO

tbh idk the ages of any of the characters

only jin ling

ssyifpfff🌙 n sizhui

57s yeeting patriarch going thru the 20s only so many times is some punishment ksjdhgfshdj

LMAO TBH

WE RLY MAKING HIM GO THRU HIS TEENAGE YEARS N THN HIS 20S N THTS IT

ssyifpfff🌙 thts the cruelest thing we ever done

OH

yknow The Final Reincarnation

xxc, song lan and a-qing have this sense xue yang is Familiar

xue yang does as well

but hes the only one who gets the most fragmented dreams

the others get fragmented blurred light memories in dreams

this makes them Question xue yang

and thus this time he has to Work to have their affection

mostly xxc's, ofc

with song lan and a-qing it'll be a bit of a cat and dog frenemies thingy

yeeting patriarch (xue yang as the cat, ofc)

frenemies is all he has lmao + xxc

song lan.......................................... he wont rmmbr righgt¿

asdfghjfhg the fragments he gets are gonna be abt him n xxc too

ssyifpfff🌙 thts gonna Hurt

1m 10 seconds ago YESSSSSSSSSSS

all of them are Clean of Full Past Memories

yeeting patriarch but FATE will bring them all together (modern setting au)

song lan we will find u love this time around

10m 50 seconds ago xxc, song lan and a-qing will all get all the good stuff

only xue yang will still go thru some Missions

well.

if we will have poly xxc with song lan and xue yang

song lan will get some Punishment by default GSDHJFOISU9DYFGHJDS

it's okay, xue yang will be 69x times better this life around, so

he will only have to up with xue yangs dramatic ass in the name of love for xxc

yeeting patriarch i mean back then he did leave xxc and only came back yeeeaaars later in Regret

ssyifpfff🌙 ACTUALLY UR RIGHT HE MESSED UP TOO

6m yeeting patriarch enduring an updated and polished xue yang is OK

ssyifpfff🌙 bsides ..... whn they work together to bring xxc n a-qins soul back they're gonna start getting along a bit more

5m yeeting patriarch YES

ssyifpfff🌙 xue yang will have gone thru development by tht point

5m yeeting patriarch he will witness the path of xue yangs reincarnations

OMG IMAGINE THEM HAVING TO GO ON ADVENTURES TOGETHER FOR XXC

OMG SONG LAN THE SILENT WATCHER OF XUE YANGS STRUGGLES

ssyifpfff🌙 MAYHAPS HE MIGHT EVEN COME TO FEEL FOR HIM

4m by the time they all reincarnate, his sense of familiarity will be Different from xxc + a-qings

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

HOLY FUKC YESSSS NYAURORA YES

we did it, we made this amazing poly fucking work

WHAT ABOUT

THIS FINAL REINCARNATION

they kinda get those Family Vibes

a-qing comes a bit later on

yeeting patriarch 2 and a half dads and their daughter

ssyifpfff🌙 2 AND A HALF DADS ASDFGHGHKLJFA

2m yeeting patriarch (and a half because even so much reincarnations, xue yang isnt a proper dad)

hes like a k00l uncle

ssyifpfff🌙 a bit of a bad incluence uncle

2m yeeting patriarch actually this does song like a father to me

ssyifpfff🌙 but tbh if not for his bastardy, xue yang n a-qing would get along so well

1m the fuck up

SOUND*

LIKE

since he will have to earn for a-qings affection

the start will be rough

but later on, theyll be the Chaotic Duo

yeeting patriarch since this time around our xue yang is updated and polished to be the bastard on the right level

IMAGINE

one day into a distant future

all four together

yeeting patriarch with peace, happiness and warmth

ssyifpfff🌙 listenin to mcr?

3m and then

all of sudden

tears start falling from xue yangs eyes

yeeting patriarch hes all ???? about it

ssyifpfff🌙 NYARI

2m yeeting patriarch and the other three are just as shocked

ASDFGHJHG DONT

HES SO HAPPY

THIS TIME AROUND HES HAPPY FINALLY

ssyifpfff🌙 CENTURIES OF HURT

1m yeeting patriarch he doesnt understand why he got so overwhelmed

ssyifpfff🌙 OF HARD WORK TO BE BETTER

1m he cant make the tears stop

xxc gets super worried asking where it hurts

but... nothing hurts

yeeting patriarch THEN HE CRIES HARDER

ssyifpfff🌙 n thts whats making him cry!!! nothing hurts finally n hes glad!!

26s 3 seconds ago yeeting patriarch NOTHING FUCKINF HURTS NYASSHOLE. THIS IS HAPPINESS

ssyifpfff🌙 AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

19s 3 seconds ago yeeting patriarch HOLY SHIT WE DID DONE THAT

the first few reincarnations and how hard it was for xue yang

the stages of grief but thru his many reincarnations

with the last one, before the Modern Setting

him breaking down in front of song lan

finally it all hit him and he gets it

when they manage to sacrifice their souls for xiao xingchen and a-qing's, he even wishes to not be reincarnated again so they can be At Peace without him

yeeting patriarch their lives*

OMG XUE YANG WISHING HE JUST REMAINS DEAD. NOW THT HE HAS FINALLY GOTTEN XXCS SOUL THE LAST TEST IS AN ACT OF REAL SELFLESSNESS.

ssyifpfff🌙 its would b so good?? bc whn he first get introduced to xy his motivation as a character is to get xxcs soul so he can use it for his own good

42m 41 minutes ago n at the end he would GIVE his soul for xxc, for THEIR own good

ssyifpfff🌙 did we just invent character development?

42m 41 minutes ago yeeting patriarch WE MF DID DONE IT AGAIN

ssyifpfff🌙 also purple420 lmao

41m 40 minutes ago yeeting patriarch he Finally embraces all the grief he felt when xxc died

ssyifpfff🌙 HE RECOGNIZES IT AS GRIEF!! BC BFORE HE JUST FELT ANGER AT XXC OF ALL THINGS

41m 40 minutes ago back then, the emotional constipation got in the way and he fucked up

but after so many punishing reincarnations, he finally came to take it all in and Understand

imagine him breaking down so many nights begging to xxc to forgive him in a desperate prayer

and song lan then one day witness it

yeeting patriarch fukc the road with song lan was also such a hard one

song lan seein xy chara development from afar is the best idea weve had in a long time nyari

ssyifpfff🌙 we did that

38m 37 minutes ago in the first few... idk, 10 reincarnations, song lan was so angry. 'why does he keep coming back? why does he have his memories?'

yeeting patriarch fates would always put song lan in xue yangs path

ssyifpfff🌙 Fate (us)

36m 35 minutes ago yeeting patriarch how Dolce it is to imagine xue yang finally taking in grief and regret and it all and breaking down... *kisses fingers like a chief*

by that last time, song lan and xue yang sacrificed their lives, even song lan was already suffering seeing the punishments of all xue yang's reincarnations

he witnessed all of them

yeeting patriarch and saw with his own eyes, ops! with xiao xingchen's eyes, nyeheh. how much xue yang learned and changed

[cherrysunflowers]

🐋❤️🎮

weird/funny story: aAA okay i’m not rlly interesting ( and warning, my humour is kinda dark so !!! APOLOGIES IN ADVANCE )

i’m in acting school rn and in my first year, i had to learn how to film commercials ( behind and in front of the camera ), and my friend at the time asked me if i could be in her commercial for some sort of coffee company she invented. she asked me if i could tap dance and i was like lmAO YEA BITCH LETS DO IT ?? SO the day comes around, and we’re getting ready to film and i’m putting on my tap shoes and like ?? the floor was that kinda tile floor that’s in schools yknow ?? and so when i stood up after tying up my shoes i was like “lmao watch me slip and fall while filming” 👀👀👀 so then !! we film one take and i’m holding a ceramic mug and my phone the whole time. my teacher is like “ok great let’s do one more take and like i’ll let it roll a lil longer so u can like be funny n stuff” and i was like ok cool, so i start again and i FALL. LIKE HARD. AND THÉ FUCKIN M U G SHATTERS. but like i didn’t think i was hurt so i was laughing my ASS off bc ofc this shit only happens to me. bUT MY TEACHER ASKS ME IF IM HURT AND i put my hands up in a shrug and i look over at my right hand and it’s DRENCHED in blood like there was a puddle on the floor and it was running down my arm. so my friends had to drive me ( IN MY CAR ) to the emergency room, and i had to get EIGHT STITCHES like right on the side of my hand just under my pinky finger. aND EVEN BETTER !! I WAS JUST MILLIMETERS AWAY FROM CUTTING THE ARTERY AND THE MAIN NERVE IN MY HAND :)) ok sry for the rambling but !! that’s my only hilarious n chaotic story lmao

how would i describe myself!!: i already answered this in another ask, but !! i like my personality and i think i’m really kind even though i get taken advantage of literally all the time bc ppl suck :) but i’m still trying to become someone i’m proud of !!

fav game: i’m not like ,,, a GaMeR cHiCk so all the games i like are like ,,, mainstream BUT i love the sims oop

[chacsmade]

texts between hunter & lola @lolacolada

07/25/2018 Hunter: you don't need to babysit a grown man after the kind of day and shift you've had Hunter: but you know you and i respect that but if you need a ride home or anything, don't hesitate to reach out? Lola: why are boys stupid Lola: not you obviously... Lola: he makes me want to pull my hair out Lola: i have to go see him, hunter. something isn't right Hunter:  i don't know. i'm pretty stupid too but Hunter:  honestly i just feel like you're doing exactly what he wants. Hunter:  how about i give you a ride there and i'll stay in the car but i'm there if you need back up? Lola: I dated him, Hunter. I think I know the difference in just trying to get me there.. besides why would he be trying to do that? Lola: would you? that would make me feel a lot better Hunter: maybe i've got my blinders on because i'm sick of people airing their shit in gc, and sometimes dragging you into that Hunter: of course i would. i'll keep the peace, stay in the car and if you need me, i'm there. Lola: I'm used to it.. I tend to just ignore it but I texted him privately.. and something doesn't feel right Lola: :heart: you're the best. Lola: I get off in five Hunter: i'll get the car. Lola: i need to go Hunter: im right out front Lola: okay Lola: This is going to be a bit, if you don’t want to wait for me, I get it

Hunter: of course i'm going to wait

Lola: he hurt himself.. i’m going to clean him up Hunter: damn. should we call someone? Lola: I don’t think he’ll let me.. he almost didn’t let me in. Lola: I’ll take care of him and if he’s still acting weird, I’ll let you know? Lola: Maybe he’ll talk to me Hunter: alright. let me know if you need anything Lola: I will :blue_heart: Last Wednesday

Lola: i won’t be coming over for awhile. Hunter: ... why not Lola: it’s a long story. i just wanted you to know in case you invite me to come binge watch anything... Lola: just.. look after miles, ok? Hunter: :rolling_eyes: so i have to suffer because he probably fucked up? Hunter: sure Hunter: but we can still hang out away from here... right? Lola: it wasn’t him.. Lola: it was me Lola: yeah.. Lola: i wanna leave town.. like i just.. i wanna go somewhere Hunter: you can talk to me Hunter: where do you wanna go? Lola: i said some really mean things, hunter. i really messedup. Lola: idk away.. Lola: i’m at tiny’s now.. Hunter: we all say mean things sometimes Hunter: do you love him, lo? miles, i mean Lola: but what i said was bad Lola: what Hunter: do you love him Lola: yes Hunter: does he know that?

Lola: i don’t think he believes me

Hunter: hm Hunter: if you decide to skip town, take me with you?

Lola: of course (( next day )) Lola: i’m going home and i’m gonna pack a bag Last Sunday Lola: i really messed up. Hunter: whats wrong Lola: I should have never trusted Cam. You were right. Hunter: what did he do Hunter: are you okay? Lola: i hate him, hunter. i hate him with every fiber in my body. Lola: sends screenshots Hunter: want me to handle him? he needs to be knocked on his ass. Hunter: talking to you like that? manipulating you Lola: if the situation ever comes up, i give you my full permission to do whatever you want. Lola: what makes this worse tho... Lola: he told miles Lola: i was going to tell him, hunter. today actually and i was with him and cam texted him. Hunter: what's miles doing? is he pushing you away because of it? Lola: he’s mad. Hunter: but you were going to tell him, its not your fault some jackass on a power trip did it in a shitty way before you could Lola: it doesn’t change the fact that i slept with him Hunter: were you two together? officially or whatever Lola: with miles? Lola: no Lola: we never even talked Lola: and i slept with tiny after he said he’d stay out of my life Hunter: just remind him how much you care, and that yes, you slept with tiny but that action doesn't lessen how you feel or whatever Lola: okay i will :blue_heart: Yesterday

Hunter: did things work out? Lola: i guess i’m kinda sort of his girlfriend? Hunter: about damn time Lola: omg hushhh :relaxed:️ Lola: now we have to figure out to tell frankie...:grimacing: Hunter: you think she'll be upset? Lola: well when i told her that i slept with him in high school, she laughed in my face and didn’t believe me. Lola: idk to be honest Hunter: so kiss him in front of her Hunter: she'll have to believe you then Lola: I think I need to ease her into that, Hunter. :flushed: Lola: we made pinky promises as kids that i wouldn’t date either of you Hunter: we're older now, maybe she won't hold you to that Lola: hopefully. Lola: where’ve you been? Hunter: im somewhere in north carolina Lola: are you okay? Hunter: i don't know, sunshine Lola: :slight_frown: i should have stayed with you Hunter: no, no. you needed to get home. and i don't wanna drag you down, lo Lola: you never drag me down, hunter. i love you, you know that. i don’t like that you’re alone. Hunter: i love you too Hunter: i should come back but the thought of going back makes it hard to breathe Hunter: i was fine until summer, school helped. not being around dad all the time helped. he's so much worse on miles but that gets to me too Lola: then don’t live there, more out. honestly you all should move out. :slight_frown: Lola: i just want you to be okay Hunter: i asked miles about that actually Hunter: if we could move out Lola: good. i don’t like you guys being there. Hunter: he hasnt answered but we'll see Lola: i’m sure he wants out just as bad as you. Lola: i’m in the process of moving out Hunter: you are? Lola: I talked to Papa, I need my space. So I’m moving in with my cousin, Alex. Hunter: when are you moving Lola: Still working on. Hunter: i should be there to help Lola: it’s just clothes and some personal stuff. I’m basically living off alex’s couch Lola: i’m not bringing furniture so don’t guilt trip yourself, okay? Hunter: you, miles and franks is all i miss from there. Lola: i miss you too. not yael? Hunter: im going to come home Lola: can’t wait to see you, dork:blue_heart: Hunter: can't wait to see you either, sunshine