#it's interesting in itself and in how it relates to the results

[on-stardust-wings]

This addition made me think about it, and it probably makes sense there are so few votes for practicing Christian with negative feelings about Good Omens?

A poll like this will naturally have a pretty considerable sample error. (Every poll is already biased towards people who are willing to take polls. That sounds stupid, but is unfortunately true, and a real issue when you try to gather data for science.) As a Tumblr poll, this one is also biased because of how it spreads. On Tumblr, there are three main ways to come across a post: you see it while browsing a tag/topic directly, someone you follow reblogs it to your dash, or you visit someone's blog and they reblogged it. Tumblr is additionally prone to create interest bubbles: if you are in a bigger fandom for example and you dislike a ship or a character, or in the positive sense if you have a fave ship and character, you'll usually have peers who share these preferences and who put posts on your dash that have a lot about the character you like and not much about the ship you don't care for. This happens to any post, people mostly reblog posts they like/agree with/want their peers to see (with the exception of people who so strongly disapprove of a post that they choose to argue on it, and that's a minority, if a very loud one). If you follow or visit people's blogs that aren't fandom but multiple random topic blogs, you'll be exposed to content from fandoms and interests you aren't personally into, but also those are unlikely to be completely opposed to your own interests (you wouldn't follow this person if they frequently posted stuff you dislike or disapprove of). So this poll? Was posted to Good Omens fandom spaces. People who stay in the fandom, especially long term, are unlikely to be people who oppose of it. It's been, like, a year since the second season aired. If there were people who actively and strongly disliked the way Good Omens handled religion, they wouldn't stick around here anymore. They might (and probably will) have posted directly after the individual seasons aired. To voice their complaints and all. But complainers move on to new complaining grounds fairly quickly most of the time. The people who stay around are primarily people who overall like the material. They like it enough to look up fandom posts on Tumblr. I feel like it's in the nature of the thing that people whose religiosity negativity affected their opinions of Good Omens are going to be a small minority in the fandom. (It's also difficult to be a minority like that: Good Omens fandom is happy to be critical of Christianity and likes to be pretty blasphemous, I imagine if you are already struggling with religious guilt, it'll feel difficult to talk about it to other fans who don't share this guilt. In comparison to the different bubbles for different ships, it's quite possible there is a bubble of GO fandom for people who have these feelings about religion and Good Omens, but this bubble probably doesn't interact that much with other bubbles, ie, the bubble this poll ended up circulating in.)

Which isn't to say it's not a good poll or that that polls on Tumblr are bad in general or that I don't love seeing their results. It just means that when interpreting the results (and that goes for any poll or survey) one has to keep in mind the biases that are naturally part of the data we acquired. The results are interesting, the tags are fascinating to read, but it's not a representative poll. It just can't be.

At the time of my making this post, positive feelings about Good Omens have a significant majority of votes. Which again, makes sense for a poll posted into a fandom space. The results also seem to align with the overall gut feeling I (and op too I gather) have about the population of Good Omens fandom: there are plenty of people who aren't religious/Christian, there are also lots of people who have Christianity related trauma (I definitely know fans like this) but who feel positively about Good Omens, but the people whose religious guilt or complicated feelings about Christianity make Good Omens a conflicted topic? Might just not enjoy being in the fandom much, or keep separate from the rest of us, so might just not see this poll. I think?

good omens and religiosity

ok so one thing about me is that i'm christian and i'm also VERY interested in the sociology of religion. last year i wrote a paper on religion in film and television (more specifically the differences between christianity in film and television vs other religions, both in how they are portrayed and how they are perceived) and i did mention good omens in it so. i wanna see something

*MRWR stands for "my relationship with religion". too long for the poll lmao

**"affected your liking of good omens" can either mean 1. influenced your opinions on the show while/after you watched it, 2. it got you to start watching it, or 3. made you grapple with your liking of the show (e.g. religious guilt)

please reblog for sample size because i feel like there are about 0.7 actual practicing christians/catholics in this fandom lmaoo 😭 also if you care to elaborate in the tags please do so!!! this is very intriguing to me!!!!!

edit: i forgot to add an "more than one/other" option. you know what just pick the most applicable one or tell me in the tags thanks bye

[copperbadge]

I'm getting depressingly good at identifying the formula for Pop Academic Books About ADHD.

Regardless of their philosophy it pretty much goes like this:

1. Emotionally sensitive essay about the struggle of ADHD and the author's personal experience with it as both a person with ADHD and a healthcare professional.

2. Either during or directly following this, a lightly explicated catalogue of symptoms, illustrated by anecdotes from patient case studies. Optional: frequent, heavy use of metaphor to explain ADHD-driven behavior.

3. Several chapters follow, each dedicated to a symptom; these have a mini-formula of their own. They open with a patient case study, discuss the highly relatable aspects of the specific symptom or behavior, then offer some lightweight examples of a treatment for the symptom, usually accompanied by follow up results from the earlier case studies.

4. Somewhere around halfway-to-two-thirds through the book, the author introduces the more in-depth explication of the treatment system (often their own homebrew) they are advocating. These are generally both personally-driven (as opposed to suggested cultural changes, which makes sense given these books' target audience, more on this later) and composed of an elaborate system of either behavior alteration or mental reframing. Whether this system is actually implementable by the average reader varies wildly.

5. A brief optional section on how to make use of ADHD as a tool (usually referring to ADHD or some of its symptoms as a superpower at least once). Sometimes this section restates the importance of using the systems from part 4 to harness that superpower. Frequently, if present, it feels like an afterthought.

6. Summation and list of further resources, often including other books which follow this formula.

I know I'm being a little sarcastic, but realistically there's nothing inherently wrong about the formula, like in itself it's not a red flag. It's just hilariously recognizable once you've noticed it.

It makes sense that these books advocate for the Reader With ADHD undertaking personal responsibility for their treatment, since these are in the tradition of self-help publishing. They're aimed at people who are already interested in doing their own research on their disability and possible ways to handle it. It's not really fair to ask them to be policy manuals, but I do find it interesting that even books which advocate stuff like volunteering (for whatever reason, usually to do with socialization issues and isolation, often DBT-adjacent) never suggest disability activism either generally or with an ADHD-specific bent.

None of these books suggest that perhaps life with ADHD could be made easier with increased accommodations or ease of medication access, and that it might be in a person's best interest to engage in political advocacy surrounding these and other disability-related issues. Or that activism related to ADHD might help to give someone with ADHD a stronger sense of ownership of their unique neurology. Or that if you have ADHD the idea of activism or even medical self-advocacy is crushingly stressful, and ways that stress might be dealt with.

It does make me want to write one of my own. "The Deviant Chaos Guide To Being A Miscreant With ADHD". Includes chapters on how to get an actual accurate assessment, tips for managing a prescription for a controlled substance, medical and psychiatric self-advocacy for people who are conditioned against confrontation, When To Lie About Being Neurodivergent, policy suggestions for ADHD-related legislation, tips for activism while executively dysfunked, and to close the book a biting satire of the pop media idea of self-care. ("Feeling sad? Make yourself a nice pot of chicken soup from scratch and you'll feel better in no time. Stay tuned after this rambling personal essay for the most mediocre chicken soup recipe you've ever seen!" "Have you considered planning and executing an overly elaborate criminal heist as a way to meet people and stay busy?")

Every case study or personal anecdote in the book will have a different name and demographics attached but will also make it obvious that they are all really just me, in the prose equivalent of a cheap wig, writing about my life. "Kelly, age seven, says she struggles to stay organized using the systems neurotypical children might find easy. I had to design my own accounting spreadsheet in order to make sure I always have enough in checking to cover the mortgage, she told me, fidgeting with the pop socket on her smartphone."

I feel a little bad making fun, because these books are often the best resource people can get (in itself concerning). It's like how despite my dislike of AA, I don't dunk on it in public because I don't want to offer people an excuse not to seek help. It feels like punching down to criticize these books, even though it's a swing at an industry that is mainly, it seems, here to profit from me. But one does get tired of skimming the hype for the real content only to find the real content isn't that useful either.

Les (not his real name) was diagnosed at the age of 236. Charming, well-read, and wealthy, he still spent much of his afterlife feeling deeply inadequate about his perceived shortcomings. "Vampire culture doesn't really acknowledge ADHD as a condition," he says. "My sire wouldn't understand, even though he probably has it as well. You should see the number of coffins containing the soil of his homeland that he's left lying forgotten all over Europe." A late diagnosis validated his feelings of difference, but on its own can't help when he hyperfocuses on seducing mortals who cross his path and forgets to get home before sunrise. "I have stock in sunburn gel companies," he jokes.

[inbabylontheywept]

How is your life so interesting

Normally, I just kind of laugh this question off, but I've been asked enough times I'm gonna take an honest stab at it.

So, the first thing worth considering is whether the story itself is all that interesting, or whether I am just a good storyteller. My most popular story is about cutting a lot of worms and half, and crying, and then being comforted by my mom. That's not a terribly uncommon or hard to imagine event. A lot of my stories more about the telling than the substance.

There are also some stories that are weird, but they're weird in ways that I also find, like, relateably weird? It might just be that I knew a lot of athletes in college, but I don't think eating raw eggs is that weird. Eating 15 in one go is, but I was roommates with a guy that ate like, three for breakfast, three in his in-class protein shake, and another three at dinner. That guy was attending ASU on a gymnast scholarship, but also, he genuinely ate 5 dozen eggs a week. That seems much more normal than eating 15 in one day.

To say nothing of eating raw onion. Tons of people eat raw onions. It baffles the non-onion eaters, but it's a super common thing. Especially in Mexico.

Some of the stories happen because I am better at noticing story-worthy events than most people. I can't tell you how many times I've been in public, and seen someone do some weirdass thing, and then had to nudge my wife and to get her to watch it too.

If I had to point to the parts of my life that are truly, genuinely, bafflingly weird, they would be my dating stories, and. I dunno. My general thermonuclear dumbass event posts. And I can break down why those two are interesting pretty simply:

I was unbelievably bad at dating. The majority of the time, that just meant that there was a few minutes of stilted small talk and never get a call back. But the thing is, Mormon culture strongly encourages dating as like, a social-practice thing, and I was very motivated to get good at it, so I just kept trying and trying and I think I went on at least 200 first dates before meeting my wife. I genuinely believe that if anyone went on 200 first dates, they would get some pretty incredible bad date stories too. Especially if they had autism. I know I write well, and I can sound very charming here, but it took me a very, very long to get decent social skills. I am just a disturbingly persistent learner.

I am very convincing. This is helpful when I am interacting with other people, because it can do things like, convince them to let me into their secret facility, or convince them to not vote Republican again, or to save at least put the company match into their retirement accounts. But when I'm just debating something with myself, my convincingness works against me: I am very good at tricking myself into believing that bad ideas are, somehow, actually good. This is part of why I have so much sympathy for the right wing lunatics that I work with. Every time I meet a crazy person I go, ah, but for the grace of God, go I. Anyway, this does an unfortunate thing where my excellent verbal skills drive my poor decisions, which results in the very odd combination of welll written, articulate stories about someone being A Fucking Idiot. Like the condom bomber story. I think this is also why most of the lawyers that I meet are insane in their personal lives.

Anyway, those are my theories! I'm gonna tag @lizardho because we mostly had the same childhood, but she has a better grasp on what normal people look like than me, and perhaps she'll have her own theories on the weirdness of our lives.

[prettyboykatsuki]

WHAT YOUR LOVE&DEEPSPACE MAIN LI SAYS ABOUT YOU

or what i would assume about you based on your favored LI. this post is not meant to be taken super seriously and is not meant to offend anyone 🙂‍↔️

its for fun!!! whether or not it applies to you Varies but itd be nice to know how accurate it was to you!

some notes: i play this game in cn and my characterization is influenced mostly from this. also i view the relationship between calebmc not as childhood friends but adopted siblings. i respect your interpretation so pls respect mine but it doesnt come up much in the post itself.

RAFAYEL

For most Raf stans, your interest in sassy and melodramatic men tends to have some history behind it. Whether that be in real life or in your other fictional men, you find yourself drawn to a specific kind of character type over and over, easily swayed by eccentric charm and large displays of emotion and grandeur. Perhaps as a result of needing convincing of the depths of someones devotion, rather then being swayed easily with words.

You may be the type of person that struggles to be with people who they don't have much in common with. The safety net of common ground, of someone who feels like a flirtatious friend at times and not a domestic partner, and the playfulness of the ultimately serious connection gives you a sense of quiet assurance and lets you breathe. Intimate relationships both friendship and otherwise can feel overwhelming.

You are especially conscious of your autonomy in relationships and hold a fear of losing yourself in love. The way Rafayel is able to navigate and subtly assure his commitment to you while also not always forcing you confront it brings you a sense of comfort no other LI really can.

You could be fearful about the idea of losing yourself in the act of loving someone else before you ever realize you're doing it. You may have a tendency to emotional extremes, though outwardly you seem ambivalent to most things. Internally though, the depth of your obsession and internalized longing for your partner genuinely inhibit you in your life for a period, in a way you have trouble articulating verbally. Engaging in wholehearted, sappy romance is something you struggle with and perhaps something you even feel embarrassed by.

You're not particularly avoidant of commitment, but the daunting idea of spending your life with someone scares you, even though it's something you truly want. Whether that be in lifestyle, viewpoint, or life experiences - you find catharsis in the (maybe misguided) belief that you could always go back to being friends and find yourself feeling very convinced of it. Having something aside from love tethering you brings you assurance, because for better or for worse - you aren't sure if love will be enough. Being Miss Bodyguard to Rafayel is something you like - as it feels more tangible a role than lover. It might even become a sore point in your relationship depending on how you go about it.

For Rafayel stans, a level of relatability and Rafayel's clever way of engaging your emotions and being considerate towards your expression is important to you. You might have a strong sense or fear of grounded reality and feel a slight envy towards Rafayel's freedom of expression even at his most frivolous or when you know he's acting. There's a also strong chance you are queer and a switch.

XAVIER

For Xavier stans, I think the poll is split evenly down the middle who like characters like him historically and people who were completely blindsided by their feelings for him. You might have a tendency towards anxiety and/or overthinking.

You are likely someone who tends to bottle up their emotions and resentment and may have a tendency to take things personally even if they are not directed at you specifically. It's likely you're capable and tenacious person in your career but struggle with recognizing your emotional needs.

The main driving point for you and Xavier is his loyalty. Above both devotion and obsession - you're drawn to the assured quality of his emotions that seems to reach past something tangible, but never fully undermines your capability. You may take preference to Xavier to Caleb explicitly for this reason.

It's likely you also enjoy the comfortable, natural element to Xaviers romance. A bluntness followed with irrefutable proof of affection is comforting - as it doesn't feel forced and does not need to be asked for. It may be that you're somewhat prone to feeling like partners should be able to read your mind, and find yourself harboring some resentment when they cannot. This may be especially true as you see yourself as being less of a 'needy' partner and find that blow especially tough.

You could have had the type of childhood that required a lot of sacrifice. Not necessarily a big, traumatic incident but a small series of sacrifices that accumulated over a lifetime that influence your way of thinking in relationships. You're somewhat adverse to the feeling of needing someone because of how you've developed your autonomy. Being the one to 'chase' might be something you avoid, or something you'd prefer to be relieved of after doing it most of your life in other areas. I think there's a strong overlap between Xavier fans and middle children / only children.

As a LI, Xavier will always have you and being with you, at the forefront of his priorities, almost to the point of absurdity but without feeling intentional. There's an ease and effortless that comforts you - as if love is the one thing you think it'd be nice not to work hard at. He's the love interest that most strongly expresses his monopoly over you regardless of consequence and morals.

You may be reluctant to admit that you like these things and may feel a sense of guilt over how much you indulge or enable his desire to monopolize you so completely. Even though you know logically it's not anything bad. You may also have a tendency to get easily attached to people who show you genuine kindness even when it's to your own detriment. It's surprisingly easy for small acts of kindness and relief tend to move you more deeply then anything.

For Xavier stans, the fact he prioritizes you without second guessing himself makes it difficult for you to second-guess him either. Struggling to reconcile your needs, you appreciate that Xavier meets them silently on his own and often subtlety that protects your pride. That and his ability to do it all without making it seem like a labor. Comforted by his certainty that does not require you to express your own vulnerability often.

ZAYNE

For Zayne stans - it's perhaps undeniable that one of the main draws of his character is the sort of perfection and stability he provides to your life. He upholds a gentle, considerate demeanor while being able to make choices and decisions without hesitating. It's likely that he is a character type that's shown up in your history at some other time, though in respect to what specific aspect might vary.

You are likely someone who struggles with a sense of loneliness, regardless of how many people you have in your immediate circle and in your life. It's not from a lacking gratitude, but rather - a tendency to never quite show your hand when it comes to intimate relationships. You might be someone who has had to learn to navigate social situations as a means of survival - choosing to front with many different masks to accommodate for each group. You often have a hyper-vigilance towards you and a sensitive intuition about people.

While there is the assumption (and some merit in that assumption) that most Zayne mains are attracted to his sense of responsibility - it's more likely what you're attracted to the feeling of acceptance Zayne offers. What that acceptance is of specifically may vary, whether it be an acceptance of your neediness or of your childishness or just your general authentic self. Beyond simple honesty, it's the understanding that your presence is wanted regardless of what it looks like.

You may have had a childhood that came with high expectations of you and a pressure to behave/perform that you found difficult to withstand. As an adult, you may carry these expectations still and critique yourself harshly when you are unable to meet them. It makes the blow feel especially harsh when you fail at something.

Additionally, it's possible you have a strained relationship with authority figures in your life. Whether it be parentification, general incompetence, or neglect - some circumstances have given you a certain pessimism and a sustained yet strong belief that relying on another person is not possible, though you long to do so.

It's likely that the trust and rapport Zayne provides innately is the biggest comfort you receive from his character. Not only is he trustworthy in the literal sense, but he's consistent in proving himself with actions and emotionally trustworthy without fail.

You may also see and recognize Zayne's struggles within yourself, and are attracted to the idea of partnership with him because the relationship would be on equal footing. You may have had past relationships where you accepted less then you deserved as a result of mentioned loneliness and need for companionship. You might find yourself attracting partners who need to be taken care over partners with their own autonomy as you find it hard to relinquish control despite your desire to do just that.

For Zayne stans, rather than the surface level need for stability - you are attracted to the feeling true partnership in his romance. A person that is both dependable, capable and understanding. Zayne speaks to the desire you have for a true companion - not necessarily out of monopoly, but a deep and answer to an almost cosmic loneliness from years of struggling all on your own.

SYLUS

For Sylus stans, it's likely true that you were at least somewhat attracted to Sylus' character on the surface - even before developing a more refined understanding of his character. You might have a preference of villains or other types of characters with an outcast quality to them or some kind of habitual vigilantism.

You enjoy, generally, being the exception to the rule when it comes to characters you like. Rather then a character who tends to form relationships and connections easily - you prefer being the person 'chosen' in a matter of speaking. You may have a history with being socially outcast / abrasive and find yourself less drawn to characters who are too expressly friendly with everyone, though you yourself tend to be amiable.

You likely have a strong sense of identity perhaps at the price of your social life and capital, and a strong commitment to authenticity that comes at the cost of receiving ire from people you consider friends and foes alike. As a result, you also find yourself somewhat overly forgiving and take betrayal extremely personally as deep intimate relationships are difficult to form as few people also fit the criteria of your values. You might be prone to sensitivity and feelings of hurt, while being almost too lenient with those you love and care for as a result.

The initial enemies-to-lovers part of Sylus' romance may appeal to you, but more then that its the gradual deepening of the relationship that you find classically romantic. As opposed to being seen at your worst, its knowing that Sylus is capable of always seeing exactly who you are no matter how you may appear in front of him that calls to you most. Not only that but loving you for it.

You have a history of being misunderstood or having your intentions misconstrued as a result of how you choose to navigate the world while staying true to your values. Sylus demonstrating continuously that no matter the circumstances, he understands you with ease is a large part of his appeal. In addition - you may be someone who struggles to express their emotions verbally without feeling a sense of embarrassment.

You have a tendency to use actions or gifts or other more tangible means to show your love - but directness tends to weaken your resolve and feels especially charming when being pursued romantically. Sylus being able to communicate his emotions to you concisely and without irony - as well without needing your interpretation speaks to you. Rather then needing to read his intentions, you can trust in his honesty and in his commitment. Of course this is backed-up with actions, but more than anything - you need to be assured verbally and directly.

You might've struggled with having a guardian (perhaps specifically a mother figure) that was passive aggressive. You have a tendency towards anxiety and catastrophizing under duress - and as a result find Sylus' consistent calmness appealing even in moments it should bother you to see him act that way. His assuredness feels almost medicinal in that sense.

For Sylus stans, its not only his sense of devotion but the extent of it - the ways in which he commits to understanding you, honoring your choices, and making the effort to do it continually and without expectation. His romance provides a specific kind of clarity and has a more soothing quality, someone that assures you that you can make it out of anything unscathed - no matter how big or small.

CALEB

For Caleb stans, some of your preferences and your reasoning will depend on which view you choose to see the relationship that Caleb and MC shares. Regardless though, there's a strong likelihood that the type of character Caleb is, is one you have somewhere else in your history for one reason or another.

There is a distinct feeling of wish fulfillment when it comes to your view or interest in Caleb as a love interest - and there might even be a distinct degree of separation between your interest in him and how much you view MC to be yourself as a result of the nature of his romance.

It's possible you have a strong sense of detachment or compartmentalization when it comes to your own emotions. Or find them so intense at times it gets difficult to hold relationships comfortably. As well as a strong feeling of emotional invulnerability that can seem ironic when considering Caleb as a love interest. However, it's explicitly the exclusivity and the appeal that Caleb holds - the 'special' foundation of his relationship that draws you in

Regardless of which interpretation of the game you choose, there's no doubt that Caleb is a character that builds a lifetime of rapport in his romance that influences his level of fierce protectiveness. It's likely you had a difficult childhood and home life - one that forced you to grow up sooner and made your youth primarily focused on escaping. It's possible you felt both much older then your peers while also feeling emotionally stunted when it came to your romantic relationships as an adult.

It's likely you find navigating vulnerability challenging - either because you're concerned with being too much when expressing your emotions sincerely, or because the very thought of doing so is rather foreign in general. Regardless on which side of the coin you fall on, you take comfort in the act of being loved almost forcibly.

Difficult to anger, quick to forgive, and always overwhelmingly willing to coddle even your smallest incidents - Caleb's romance provides a love that demands nothing of you in any capacity and exists as a sounding board for your emotions. You may be the type of person who struggles deeply to care for themselves even at their most healed.

It's possible you prefer love to be treated as an avenue of destiny and inevitability, something infallible and absolute and unchanging. You might be a bit of a romantic or a person with a strong inclination towards daydreaming, but you find this part of yourself in earnest a bit difficult to face with honesty. There's perhaps nothing so difficult as the admittance you want to be loved so much, though it's a theme that appears repeatedly in your life.

For Caleb stans, the main draw is in a way the choicelessness of the affection he shows. There's an almost overbearing quality to his love that makes it inescapable - and this both serves you and reassures you that there is no right or wrong way to make him leave. Caleb might exist more than anything as an answer to abandonment wounds in your adolescence, a hero even at his worst.

[spiraling-stardust]

I have a habit of imagining ways that act 5 could have gone differently, and in doing that I ended up coming up with this AU. Basically, Siffrin is a ghost, and he and Mal du Pays are following the party and occasionally helping them out from behind the scenes as they deal with the aftermath.

During the fight against Mal du Pays in act 5, the rest of the party doesn’t make it in time, and Siffrin gives up on his wish and kind of just. Dies. For real this time. Mal du Pays takes form, and then it finishes off the King itself and runs off right before the party arrives to see what’s left. It ends up encountering Siffrin who is now a ghost, and starts following them around, so I guess they’ll be watching the rest of the party together now.

Mal du Pays is… More tame in this AU? Still a little shit, but not as much now that it actually took form. It’ll say some stuff that Siffrin would definitely not take well, but it’s not necessarily being intentionally malicious, it’s just in its nature as a Sadness. Like how a cat doesn’t shred furniture to be mean, it’s just a cat. Still sucks though. Since “homesickness” is the feeling at its core, it often becomes fixated on anything potentially related to “home”, and since family was also like “home” to Siffrin but still felt impossible to keep, this resulted in Mal’s interest in the rest of the party and its unwillingness to attack them and only them… and also its clinginess. The damned thing will not go away.

Siffrin is still very much coming down from the act 5 shitstorm at the start. They didn’t learn to talk about their problems, and they’re still under the impression that their family hates them. And on top of that, he’s actually genuinely dead now! He can see through himself, he always seems to glow a little, and he has to concentrate just to pick something up. Eventually some of these problems will improve, either through practice or by observing his family, but it’s definitely a lot to recover from and adjust to… And it’ll take awhile since he’s also gotta keep the Sadness he created from attacking strangers and deal with the stuff it pulls on him.

The rest of the party is still dealing with the aftermath, and have no clue they’re being watched (yet). Loop sort of joins the group in Siffrin’s place, and there’s a lot of 2hats-related issues from that (the whole situation is complicated, they didn’t even want to be there but stardust had to go and die and… oh. Maybe they still have a place among them as someone else? Cue the spiral of internal conflict). Lots of pain and suffering to go around, but I promise it’s not all just misery!! There’s some shenanigans, comfort, and even some fluff mixed in there! I swear! In fact there’s a pretty good amount of shenanigans. An actor joins the stage crew… Chaos may ensue hehehe

[willosword]

kit, jentry and the art of misunderstanding

this is basically just a really long post going over kit and jentry's interactions in eps 8 and 9 bc i've seen some people feel like their characterization took a sharp turn ("they made kit act like an incel", "they made jentry reject him just because he's a demon", etc), when i thought both their actions were perfectly understandable and a pretty natural evolution of their not-relationship. i think the key thing to remember when watching these scenes is that both characters have very different assumptions about the current status of their relationship, partly because they were never able to sit down and define it in the first place.

kit thinks he and jentry are functionally together, that any hesitation on jentry's part is the result of some fixable fault of his own, while jentry thinks they were never a thing to begin with, and especially not now after kit betrayed her trust.

so this is where the trouble really begins, tho i think even earlier in this conversation is when they started to be on different pages. up until this point, kit had been hoping she'd forgive him, and was taken aback when she said she wasn't looking for apologies. then she started reiterating her belief in his soul and relating to the feeling of being trapped with a life defined by someone else

jentry pov: even though i'm feeling deeply betrayed, kit doesn't deserve to be under anyone's thumb. we'll help each other out and then we'll part ways amicably. that'll make things right.

kit pov: hold up. 'make things right'? as in... make up? as in... a relationship is still on the table? :D

jentry pov: after the powers are gone there'll be nothing tying kit to me, and nothing tying either of us to mr cheng. he'll be free to move on and choose whatever new life he wants.

kit pov: she said 'you and me' like we're a pair! so she still wants to be with me after all :D we're reconnecting!!

so this is when kit starts getting possessive. there's definitely good old fashioned jealousy at play, but i also think kit was genuinely under the impression that he and jentry were reconnecting, and that jentry should have no reason to be interested in michael at this point.

back at school he's genuinely confused, because he has no idea jentry isn't into him anymore. he helped her get rid of the powers and made up with her, so now they should be back in business. he did the mum thing that's apparently a romantic gesture jentry likes, so shouldn't she be happy about it? look how thoughtful he's being!

jentry pov: ohhh shoot, he doesn't get that i don't wanna be with him anymore. i can't deal with any more stressful demon stuff......... how do i put this nicely...

kit pov: yep haha ^_^ no more powers, yay! it's like what you said back at my house! now that you don't have the powers nothing is getting in the way of our relationship anymore, like mr cheng and gugu's game. peace and love on planet earth <3

jentry pov: i need to let this dude down as GENTLY AS PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE. i want to word this in a way that SCREAMS "you're an okay dude, just not what I personally want out of a relationship right now" because I know he has issues with his sense of identity. so i will focus on how the relationship itself can't be normal. this will hopefully take the brunt of rejection off him as an individual and lay the blame at the feet of unfortunate circumstances

kit pov: ohhhh so she WANTS to be in a relationship with me but i'm not acting normal enough

jentry pov: ok thank god. he gets that i don't want us to be together AND he took it gracefully.

kit pov: so she's saying we can be together... once i start acting more normal? that's slightly upsetting. but totally doable :)

jentry pov: i will now pursue michael since i've cleared things up with kit ^_^ yaaayyy

kit pov: what the hell??? i'm trying to be normal for her???? like she ASKED me to?? but now she's flirting with michael out of nowhere???

jentry pov: THIS CREEPY ASS DUDE KEEPS STALKING ME AFTER I TOLD HIM IM NOT INTERESTED

kit pov: i am doing Normal Displays of Normal Human Affection like she literally asked me to >:( ok well not literally but she INSINUATED

from his pov, she's not even giving him a chance to "correct" his behavior before she runs off with someone else, toying with his emotions. he's trying to "out-normal" michael to win her back, but it's frustrating and terrifying bc if there's one thing he Can Not handle it's rejection

jentry pov: this guy obviously can't take a gentle let-down, so I need to be more blunt about this. he stalked me, lied to me, tried to kill me. how can he NOT see why i don't want to be around him anymore? what the heck is his problem?? how much meaner do i need to be about this before he finally leaves me alone???

kit pov: ok, so the mask is coming off now. she said i was more human than i thought, that a soul is made up of the decisions you make, who you choose to be. but i didn't choose to be centuries old, i didn't choose to drain qi, those are all intrinsic parts of my demonic existence. was all that talk a lie? do i not have a soul after all? am i not human enough for her? was she just trying to spare my feelings this whole time?

jentry pov: he's so creepy and possessive, i hate this, why can't he just take no for an answer!!? (<- objectively true btw)

kit pov: she's avoiding the question, so she means 'yes' and is too proud to say it. she doesn't like me because i'm a demon, and if i was a normal human, we'd be together right now

so of course he gets so upset he punches the lockers. it's not extreme or out of character, he thinks everything jentry told him about his humanity was a lie. that there IS something inherently wrong with him that nothing but the acquisition of a soul could fix. that he's back to square one, that mr cheng was right, that no one could possibly love him in his natural state. that he is, inherently, down to his core, a monster.

but at least this time, he doesn't have to kill jentry to get what she he wants (because it was never really about her. he never prioritized her happiness. everything he did to change 'for' her was always about desperately maintaining the sense of human connection he craved)

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

sebek and the love of literature

HELLO, HI... PLEASE READ MY SEBEK ANALYSES, I BEG... HE IS A VERY GOOD BOY THAT IS DESERVING OF YOUR LOVE, I SWEAR HE IS... OTL

[ Sebek and internalized racism / Sebek and his place in the Diasomnia found family / Sebek and his capacity to love ]

YES... It is I, here with yet another Sebek-related ramble. Make yourself comfortable :)) *straps you into a seat and tapes your eyeballs open*

***SPOILERS for the book 7 part 12 (Heartslabyul - Deuce and Cater) update!!***

Okay, SO.

We already know that one of Sebek's hobbies is reading, as is stated in his official in-game profile:

... BUT I DON'T THINK YOU TRULY REALIZE HOW DEEP THIS READING HOBBY GOES. He has several voice lines declaring his love of books and reading. Several of Sebek's peers, including Yuu, Azul, and Jack, gift him books for his birthday. In his free time, Sebek chooses to read books on a variety of topics, including romantic tragedies and textbooks. He doesn't just read the book and then move onto the next thing either; other characters may joke that the only time he is quiet is when he is reading, but Sebek seriously absorbs the information he takes in and reflects on it. He thinks about what happened to the characters, what the lesson of the story is, what the author's intent might have been (in his Nightmare Suit vignettes). He wants to apply the techniques he reads about in books to real life, such as picking up new skills like badminton (Sebek New Year’s Attire voice line), how to maximize his training (Jack gifts him a sports science book for his Union Birthday), of learning to adapt to sudden situations like when he and Silver find an injured baby bat (in Lilia’s Dorm Uniform vignettes).This makes sense, as Sebek is the kind of person who is always striving to improve himself so that he may better serve his liege. Sebek is not a selfish reader. He loves books + picking up new knowledge and actively tries to share that with his loved ones. For example, Sebek has voice lines where he asks the player to share book recommendations so that he may read them tonight (aka basically as soon as possible). When we express confusion between dragons and longs, Sebek offers to visit the library with the player to show them "books suitable for beginners". (That of itself also indicates mindfulness towards people having different levels of proficiency at reading.) He is also shown being eager to fetch books for Silver from a higher shelf--though this is in part because Sebek loves to show off that he is taller--and directs Malleus to a book fair in Foothill Town so that his liege may find new interesting reads. He also pays attention to others’ interests and selects the appropriate reading material—hence why Sebek gifts Jamil a travel book for Jamil’s Union Birthday. According to Sebek, "It was [his] grandfather who taught [him] the joys of reading." Indeed, Baur has read to Sebek and told him (oral) stories since his grandson was a baby. He has continuously gifted Sebek book too, all of which Sebek has kept with him. It is implied that Baur thinks receiving a proper education is important, and even though he has complicated feelings about his one and only child marrying a mere human, he still wanted his grandchildren to be well-educated. Baur always made efforts to read and share stories with Sebek to that end. In book 7, this all comes full circle when Silver is wallowing in despair and Sebek talks some sense into him:

"If [Lilia] hated you, he didn't have to give or teach you anything. He could've just raised you into a dimwitted coward and made you a servant. But he didn't [...] Even trapped in the darkest despair, you kept on fighting! Who raised you to be so strong? LILIA DID! Why don't you see? Why do you doubt? You should have understood years ago! What can you call your strength, if not the direct result of Lilia's love?!"

From this dialogue, we can draw direct parallels with how Baur raised Sebek. In this analogy, Baur = Lilia and Sebek = Silver. Both Baur and Lilia initially have a disdain for humans, have served as soldiers in the royal guard, and have personally suffered due to humans invading their country and pillaging it for resources. Then they are also both forced into circumstances where they have a human child thrust upon them and they have to take some responsibility for said child. Despite that, Baur and Lilia were able to overcome their own prejudices and truly learn to love Sebek and Silver, respectively. Sebek is always in a rush to be better for others. Silver is always worried that he'll never be "enough" for the father that did so much for him. But the difference is that Sebek knows his grandfather loves him because Baur gifted him with knowledge--which is a strength and a power of its own. It's because Sebek is cognizant of Baur's love for him that he's the perfect candidate to call Silver out for being dense. Lilia DID teach Silver. Lilia DID value Silver getting an education. And because of that, Silver is strong. He is strong because of Lilia's love, just as Sebek is strong because of Baur's love and the knowledge that was granted to him. To Sebek, literature IS love. This is a core component of his character--and, additionally, it is a core component of how he understands, navigates, and communicates. (Please refer to the examples I gave in the earlier paragraphs!) Nowhere is this made clearer than at the end of Deuce's dream segment in book 7.

In the dream, Deuce gets into a brawl with some Octavinelle mob students in the NRC library. They chuck various books at each other during the fight, which deeply upsets Sebek. He falls to his knees (like, you can see his tall as fuck model lowering) to check on the books and laments at the damage they've taken.

What really sets Sebek off is when he happens to witness the contents of the thrown books. Simply put, a lot of information is missing. There are several blank pages, and what is there is riddled with errors or is written so crudely it's illegible. Literature, being desecrated in Sebek's presence? NOT ON HIS WATCH. He cannot hold himself back and lets it all out on Deuce, reprimanding his peer for wanting to be an honors student but not having the drive to properly absorb these materials (which, as you'll recall, is something Sebek takes very seriously himself).

Sebek has a very specific definition of what a "book" is. Simply having papers that are bound and have a cover is not a "book". Based on his anger, it seems he very much values the contents. He even alludes to the knowledge gained from reading as being a weapon Deuce can actually use in a fight (which, again, makes sense because of how Sebek often tries to apply what he learns from books to his own life) All of this shouting and scolding does lead to Deuce waking up, but I will be glossing over this part as this is an analysis focused on Sebek and not Deuce. However, there is something that I would like to discuss, and it happens after Deuce is fully awake. The two have a moment to bond over an anomaly of a book they found in the library—the only one that appears to have all its contents intact. It is “The Story of the Trump Soldier”, a famous children’s book from the Queendom. It has various short stories about the card soldiers (whom Deuce idolizes) that serve the Queen of Hearts.

Deuce tells us that, as a kid, he would beg his mom to read the book to him. When he got a little older and learned how to read himself, Deuce would read the book so many times that now it’s just stuck in his head. The fact that it was so perfectly reproduced in his dream is proof that the story holds great significance to him. SEBEK RECOGNIZES AND RESPECTS THAT. He doesn't insult Deuce or look down on him for reading what is "just a children's book". Instead, Sebek comments that something as simple as this can be what sparks one's love for reading. And do you know why Sebek says that... BECAUSE THIS IS PROBABLY TRUE OF HIMSELF 😭😭😭 It was Baur who got him books--probably including CHILDREN'S books--and read to him when he was small... so, as a result, Sebek understands how the mere exposure and finding that one book that hooks you can snowball into a real love for literature. It's not clear if Sebek himself is aware of this parallel since he kinda makes the remark off the cuff but BOY did I sure notice OTL

QEILRQEIYQEPPQEF AND THEN AND THEN AND THEN He suggests that Deuce try picking out a book sometime for his friends, something easy so that even Yuu and Grim can understand it. Sebek gives recommendations like this to Silver (one of the few humans he likes), who can never quite finish reading those books despite his best efforts... Sebek is advising that Deuce do this same thing 😭 THE THING HE DOES HIMSELF FOR A FRIEND, BECAUSE RECOMMENDING A BOOK IS ONE OF THE WAYS SEBEK SHOWS HE CARES.... . .. ..... . ..... . .... . . . . .. . .. .. At the end, Sebek even says that he will read "The Story of the Trump Soldier" when he's awake in the real world. THAT'S HIM ACKNOWLEDGING AND ACTING ON DEUCE'S BOOK RECOMMENDATION TO HIM... meaning that some small part of Sebek is coming to terms with Deuce as a companion... slowly opening up to the idea of having other friends... 🥺 The love for literature that Sebek got from Baur... is now being used as a means to bridge the great divide between Sebek and the peers he used to so brazenly snub and insult before...

If you look back at the voice lines for Deuce’s Birthday Jacket card, he says “Sebek gave me this reference book. He said he highly recommended it... Hey! This is CLEARLY for little kids! I can't believe that guy…” BUT DON’T YOU SEE???? With this context, you suddenly see it wasn’t meant as an insult. Sebek considered Deuce’s level of reading proficiency and purposefully picked out something that suited him. I have no doubt that Sebek actually puts a lot of thought into the books he recommends to others because—to him—to share literature is to tell someone “I love you, I care about you.” WEEEEEHEHHHHHHHH H HHHH H H H H H HH H H H H, IT ALL TIES TOGETHER SO WELL!!

[astrobydalia]

Astro knowledge pt. 2

work by astrobydalia

Cancer rules hotels, motels, etc. Hotels are all about hospitality, making people feel welcomed, comfortable, provide for basic needs like a bed, food, etc. Of course this will differ based on quality and the kind of place but in general places designated to provide shelter and a place to stay are ruled by Cancer

When I learned this it made a lot of sense cause my mom has Groom in Cancer and 7th house ruler in the 4th house and she met her fs at a hotel. I know a couple who has Cancer ASC in their composite chart and they met at a hotel

Jupiter is a very unpredictable planet and a negative manifestation of it is that it can make things grow uncontrollably without reliable results. Jupiter can give blessings yes but it does not guarantee success. Those blessings are just opportunities but it's up to you what to do with them.

Astrologically, the key to success is Saturn. That's why success is so hard to obtain and it's a symbol of status or accomplishment. And yes this applies to whatever it is you consider success. Saturn is not about obtaining success in itself, it's about growth, the way we feel accomplished and successful as humans is when we feel like we've grown and flourished overtime. That's why it doesn't matter what your definition of success is, in order to get it you need to mature and go through sacrifices and lessons related to your Saturn placement.

MC/10th house = what success means to you Saturn = also related to what success means to you, but it can specifically tell you how to get it

Moon is related to wealth that's why it is exalted in Taurus!

Moon in a man's chart indicates his wife because Moon symbolizes the divine feminine. Venus is important too but ultimately a man will commit to a woman that satisfies his Moon energy. That's why it is often said that men marry someone like their moms or the way a man treats his mom is how he's gonna treat his wife

5th house rules your creative endeavors and the 11th house rules your public/clients/fanbase/etc. That's also why 11th house is related to money you make in your career (2nd from 10th). If you wanna have your own business you gotta look at both the 5th and 11th houses

Something I don't see people mention much (maybe because its obvious) is that Libra energy makes things to be balanced in itself because Libra is all about avoiding any extremes. Libra makes this to be on the "elevated" or positive side but always keeping it moderate. For example, if you have Libra ruling your money houses your income could be averagely decent, like you could make good money (cause, Venus) but you're not insanely rich either or it does not appear that you are (cause Libra also rule appearances).

Aquarius rules heavy cold winds (you know like those very heavy and erratic winds), that’s why it also rules over airports and planes. I've also seen astrologers say that back in the day, Aquarius used to rule over sailing of bigger boats which also needed heavier winds in order to move

We all know Leo rules inner child. One thing about children is that when you're a kid you kinda don't have a concept of others being their own person and having completely different lives (that's something Aquarius brings awareness to, that's why its the humanitarian), but rather kids tend to assume everyone lives the same way as they do. That's what happens with Leo astrologically, they tend to not understand or fathom or be interested in things that go beyond them or their experience. Their own perspective of life is their whole world and what they will project on everything much like the Sun project its own light into the world. In the case of very unhealthy Leo energy this can go as far as actively minimizing other's experiences and perspectives. When Leo does try to understand others, they have a tendency to circle it back to something they can relate to or is relevant to them or they can understand

There's also another side of Leo that rules teenage years since that’s the period of our lives where we are finding our identity/expression and also where we start to become more interested in romance and sex

In composite, the ASC is how the relationship started and how it generally comes across as but the 7th house is the dynamic the two people have between them, how they actually interact with each other

Both Aquarius and Pisces are the last two of the zodiac wheel and both relate to themes of evolving as human and elevating spiritually but because of this, these signs are the hardest to develop healthily and many people fail to do so. That's why you see many Aquarius and Pisces placements with a god complex or huge entitlement cause both share this sentiment of feeling 'different', more elevated or special than everyone else

Venus finds fall in Virgo bc Venus is a sex goddess, she rules abundance, sensuality, pleasure and indulgence. Virgo on the other hand is the virgin, she's minimalistic, cerebral and modest, she’s too much of a “prude” for Venus.

Since Pisces is the most empathetic sign, its opposite Virgo is one of the most unkind signs unfortunately. Pisces wants to find the beauty in all things and people (Venus exaltation) while Virgo wants to find the flaws and everything that is wrong and needs to be improved or fixed. Pisces is about accepting the "soul" of things while Virgo is attached to an idea of how things should be. That's also why Venus finds falls in Virgo because Venus is related to kindness (this does not mean Virgo Venus people are inherently unkind, this can manifest in any unhealthy virgo placement, it's just an astrological explanation)

Domicile/exaltation is not always positive. When a sign exalts a planet it means that it can enhance both its positive AND negative qualities. That's why exalted mars can manifest as toxic masculinity or why exalted Venus can manifest as textbook enabling behaviour. On the flip side, planets are its fall/debilitation are challenging placements because the positive qualities of the planet are weakened but at the same time its negative qualities can be neutralized. For example, Mercury debilitated can be less prone to pointless rambles and have a more focused intellectual approach, debilitated Venus can be less compliant, etc

The energy that rules horror astrologically is Pisces/12th house/Neptune, we usually associate it just with dreams and idolization but it actually has a creepy and twisted side to it. Neptune is all about blurring the boundaries of reality including what we judge to be good or bad (Virgo). It rules over dreams AND nightmares. Not only that but Neptune energy does not understand the difference between a dream and a nightmare. This characteristic can range from blindness to red flags all the way to having rather morbid fascinations.

Following the above, the association of 12th house with nightmares is also explained by Saturn finding its joy is this house (the so called 'bad spirit', the never-ending burdens that come to haunt you). However, as I explained earlier in the post, Saturn is the key to success so this means Saturn is the key to help you achieve your dreams (12th house)

Pisces/Neptune energy rules spirituality but at its lowest it can also be the most superficial and vain sign (again, the negative side of Venus exaltation) because Pisces also rules illusions and idolization. It can focus so much on portraying an ideal image that it does not dive deep within, wants to escape reality and live a fake ideal

In terms of performance, Leo is theoretically better at sex than Scorpio

How to read the chart of a Nation + some observations

Sun signifies the characteristic of the rulers and it also symbolizes what that country is all about if that makes sense. For example USA is Cancer Sun and they've always been known for they patriotism and how they're very attached to their past as a nation.

Moon represents the people (civilians, population, the society). The energy you will likely experience by actually spending enough time there and start integrating yourself with the people. For example New York has Aries Moon and a relative of mine who used to live there once told me jokingly "with all the hustle and normalized criminality sometimes it feels like a war zone here"

Ascendant is the general national identity they present, the first thing that comes to mind when you think about that place. I've also noticed the stereotypes of a nation a lot of times relate to its ASC. For example Canada (Toronto) is Libra ASC and they’re known for being polite and nice to everyone. Japan (Tokyo) has Virgo ASC and their known for being super diligent and clean (think Marie Kondo). USA (nation) is Sagittarius ASC and they’re known for being loud, entitled, optimistic, multicultural, a massive country, cowboys and country music, etc.

work by astrobydalia

[huginsmemory]

On ad astra per aspera ✨

Can we talk about the repeated use of ad astra per aspera? Cause uhhhh it shows up twice, once on the website and once in the Book of Bill, and OH BOY this has connotations, both for Bill and Ford's relation in the literal and figurative meaning on the word, and for Bill's own history:

(extra addition added 16/09/2024! 🌝 )

First, in the website (if I recall correctly) if the phrase ad astra per aspera is inputted into the computer, you get the two pages on Bill's 'funeral':

And within, in the pages, at the very end before signing there names is the phrase itself (highlighted in red) .

Secondly, a joke version of it is seen in the Book Of Bill, specifically on the night where Bill and Ford fucked 'one thing led to another':

In this one, it's clearly a joke off of aspirin used for his hangover, used again to close the entry.

Now the phrase ad astra per aspera itself means 'through suffering to the stars', which also has... wider connotations then just these two piece alone, which I'll unpack later. But first, the interesting choice of connection of these two pieces;

Both times the phrases occur, they occur closing the entry; a bit too much of a coincidence to me (and in this fandom there is no such thing as a coincidence). Considering that the 'one thing led to another' night is a night that was important to their relationship as it hints at the intimacy they had with each other, it showing up again in Ford's 'funeral' entry about Bill feels very much like an allusion to that night. Especially considering in the funeral entry Ford is very open about how much he cared about Bill, with how he at one point "considered him the centre of his life". The entry from Ford reads as someone who is moving on, and part of this is acknowledgement of the grief and sadness for the more positive part of the abusive relationship that he lost. As a result, having him acknowledge the intimacy of their relationship, it makes sense for him to tongue in cheek allude back to his first writing down of the phrase, where they were quite clearly implied to fuck be intimate.

While it alludes to their Bill and Ford's intimacy, the literal and metaphorical meaning of the phrase also rings true here; through suffering to the stars. If we talk literally, then through Ford's relationship with Bill, something that ultimately was full of suffering, he built the portal, and ended up wandering the myriad worlds out there in space; one may say out there among the stars. He literally was out there wandering the stars as a result of suffering.

Now metaphorically, the phrase means through suffering/adversity one gains beautiful/worthwhile things. Considering this entry is Ford moving on from Bill, this is very apt; again, their relationship caused Ford immense suffering, and as he is now letting that relationship and suffering go, he's instead prioritizing creating healthy relationships with Stanley, the other twins and Fiddleford (the something beautiful and worthwhile part!). In fact, the entry on Bill's funeral is half on him strengthening his relationship with Mabel, the shooting star, another layer of wordplay; case in point about the healthy relationships. He's weathered through his abusive relationship, to discover and create a loving family.

It doesn't quite end there however; although that's fairly it for specifically Ford and Bill's relationship, we also haven't talked about what the stars mean to Bill himself. Which, well; it's very clearly implied that Bill accidentally killed everyone in his dimension in an attempt to show his parents (and other people in his dimension) the stars. And on top of that, to quote; "I looked up and saw the stars. And I was ready to become one of them". Which he then in a way, becomes, considering the page in journal 3 on constellations, in which Ford remarks that one of his favourite constellations is the constellation 'William' (obviously Bill). It's a bittersweet immortalization of himself after everything that occurs around trying to see the stars for Bill.

So I find it very interesting that for Ford, a phrase about suffering and stars is something he ends up correlating to his relationship with Bill, considering that to Bill, to get to the stars is something he deeply suffered for as a result. It's also important to note that Bill's suffering was something that occurred out of love, and ultimately an attempt to be understood and create a deeper relationship with his parents where they could trust him. And then for Ford, all this while later, to look up to the stars (to see them) and to see the Bill constellation and go 'oh that's one of my favourites' is fulfillment. Because Ford during that time trusted and cared deeply for Bill, fulfilling that relationship of trust, love and understanding(at least surface level, considering the way they banter together), that Bill had yearned for when he was younger and killed his plane.

So all in all(tldr): ad aspera per astra, (through suffering the stars), is quite the fun phrase to unpack in regards to Bill and Ford's relationship, considering the deliberate reference to the phrase on the entry about the night 'where one thing led to another' and Bill's funeral entry. The phrase is a combination of references; tongue in cheek allusion to the intimacy, but also references to the literal (space fugitive) and figurative (abusive relationship, to loving family again pipeline) hardships Ford endured as a result of the relationship. There is also irony in the way that Ford seems to correlate this phrase about suffering and stars with Bill and his relationship, considering that out of an effort to be understood and share the stars with his parents, Bill accidentally killed his whole dimension; later he also made a constellation of himself. As well, as Ford says that one of his favourite constellations is a constellation that's clearly Bill in Journal 3, it alludes to that Bill's wish to show his parents the stars and be recognized is fulfilled by Ford (pre-portal incident that is).

EDIT: extra details added on the constellation piece as of Aug 14 2024 (less than 24 hours after og posting, because I'm deranged). Big thanks to @bowl-o-nudel for the nudge :)

Edit (16/09/2024): I've had a few people say that the saying has appeared in Journal 3 multiple times, and having reread journal 3, to my delight it is indeed correct! And oh the CONTEXT they give. The two instances are those seem below; the first appearance in the title page of Journal 3, and second time is a page from when the twins graduate.

As well as all the parallels of how the phrase is applied for both Bill and Ford, as @zoizyboigy suggested, it seems to be a phrase that Ford takes as his own motto. It seems to be a highly personal motto to him; after all, they all are written around important turning moments in Ford's life; graduating, the journals which where to be his ticket to fame, fucking a triangle finding acceptance and intimacy with Bill , and lastly, moving on in his life from Bill and his destructive obsession with recognition. 

And it makes sense WHY this motto is one that is highly personal to Ford; the first time it is seen chronologically is when he's graduating, chosen when he believes he's going to be accepted into the university. It's a motto he chose because he was excited, because he thought he was already through his suffering and arriving to the stars of his fancy university, where validation and acceptance would abound; only that doesn't happen, and the suffering part within the motto is the only thing that's accurate, especially as that's when he rejects Stan. It's a motto chosen in celebration, that becomes a reminder of the failure to become someone who is accepted and important (and his prioritization of validation over relationships); it's now something he holds that reminds him of the validation he believes he deserves and he obsessively chases. 

And that's why you see it in the journal pages, because these journals are going to change his life, he's going to become finally a person of importance and be accepted with the information he's compiled in the journals. And in the same way, you see it after Bill (and interdimensional being of ancient knowledge) and him are intimate; he's become someone of importance to Bill, he's been accepted by Bill, even attractive to Bill (romance Ford seems to have terrible luck in).

And that's why you see it at the end of Ford's farewell to Bill; it's another turning point, it's Ford letting his obsession with world validation go which characterized it's meaning from the beginning, Ford letting go of his relationship with Bill, which it also came to mean, and instead celebrates his acceptance within his family and the strengthening of those bonds, and of prioritizing healthy, loving relationships.

Ps, if you enjoyed this meta post, I've also made another one, on exceptionalism!

[fafodill]

On Snape depriving himself sexually...

SO, I got hyperfocused and I hope you'll enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. I needed only one person to tell me they were interested so thank you @severus-snaps haha. And thank you @wisteria-lodge for encouraging me !

This is a continuation of my previous post about Snape's relation with intimacy. I'm always a sucker for the pent up and deprived trope and I feel like Snape could fit the profile perfectly. Of course this is complete HC, as we literally have zero information about him having any personal life whatsoever so... pure speculation and meta discussion. Let's have fun, buckle up, here is why I think he'd make a great candidate for it :

Early teens: Many of us tend to interpret Snape as sexually inexperienced. This of course comes partly from his unpopularity in school, a time where teenagers start experimenting a bit. It's hard to imagine the little scrawny greasy potion nerd getting a lot of action. Though I'm open to thinking something might have happened here and there. I mean, girls also like smart and scrawny guys, I would love to read a fic where a Ravenclaw or Slytherin has a crush on him and he's utterly clueless because he's too engrossed in his books and when he realizes he's so flustered and clumsy about it. And they snog in the library and he's so afraid of getting caught by Mrs Pince. But being consistently bullied would have hurt his reputation, thus making people avoid being associated with him to not become targets as well. Also, his bullies were good-looking guys and it may have contributed to highlighting his bad looks in the public eye way more than if he had been left alone. And just with the nickname alone, but you won't tell me James and Sirius never insulted his nose, his hair, his complexion or his thin frame.

So one of the first core belief that might have emerged and latched itself to his sexuality would have been: I'm ugly/repelling.

But we don't have any proof in canon that he wasn't interested in romantic/sexual interactions back then. For all we know, he was a socially awkward teenager going through puberty. Even if he was certainly anxious and angry due to the bullying, he was still going through the same hormone cocktail as everyone.

HC : I've been wondering how the students find places to masturbate in peace and of course we don't exactly know why he invented the Muffliato charm but give me a Snape who was too whimpery to be completely silent and used it for this.

Post SWM though, I think it's safe to assume the trauma scared him unconsciously regarding the subject. Being perceived before wasn't easy, as he was aware he wasn't exactly good-looking and his self-esteem was impacted for sure, but after... oh boy. I can imagine him so traumatized that the mere idea of undressing in the vicinity of people was making his blood freeze. This may have led to hygiene issues as well, or only feeling safe to shower in the dead of night or at times where the dormitories where utterly empty. The shame linked to having his body and underwear exposed could have definitely stunned his sexual awakening as it happened at such a crucial age. How can you safely explore your own sexuality if every time you think about how ugly you are and that so many people saw your body and laughed at it ? (and the adults doing nothing to punish the people who did that hammered the beliefs that he was indeed laughable)

So second core belief added: I'm ridicule.

Also the SWM incident might have triggered his need to cover/shield his body from head to toe at all time and nobody can convince me otherwise.

At the very least I imagine masturbating would then be heavily linked to the anger and shame of that moment. The memory would either unlock or at least impact it unconsciously in some way, marking the act with a profound bitterness or stopping it altogether. The result: every time his body would ask for attention, he'd be overcome with very intense traumatic feelings and have no idea how to deal with them; so he'd start recoiling instinctively from any sexual thought. Also, since undressing/changing clothes became a triggering act, being even partially nude to touch himself would also stress him immensely.

So instead of indulging, he'd start developing coping mechanisms like focusing on anything else that brought him a sense of pleasure to trick his brain : potions, the dark arts, creating spells etc.

And of course, we can assume that even if someone was trying to approach him at that point, he'd recoil like a wounded animal, expecting mockery and reacting very aggressively.

After Hogwarts: We don't know what might have happened during his 3-4 years after school. We have a lot of creative space, though we know he got a Potion Mastery (??) so he must have studied somewhere and he was active within the DE circles. As @maxdibert pointed in a few posts - which I think is an astute point - the Dark Lord was aware of the affection/attraction Severus had felt towards Lily and, to prove his disinterest, he might have engaged with a few pureblood women. We could speculate on different situations here (and if anyone's interested we could explore this), but as I'm going for deprived!Snape, I'd say it wasn't helpful. At this point he's a young adult, torn between his inexperience and his limboing self-esteem. On top of that he's a deeply proud individual, obsessed with controlling the way he's being perceived. He's already occlumenting his emotions to remain safe, and well, engaging sexually does require some sort of vulnerability he isn't capable of at that point.

Maybe he said some harsh things to his partners when confronted with his clumsiness (even if they were kind), maybe he got bit back (and deserved it). He'd use these instances as confirmation bias to convince himself intimacy wasn't something emotionally safe, interesting nor even remotely pleasant enough.

Then there's Lily's death, and I personally don't see her as having a lot of influence on his sexuality directly (except maybe for the fact that when he had feelings for her, he might have felt she was 'too pretty for him', which fed the first core belief), but it did fuel a ton the last core belief which is : I'm undeserving (because I'm a bad person).

The undeserving part existed prior to her death. It stemmed from his upbringing (undeserving of care), of his social status (undeserving of material comfort), his blood status (undeserving of opportunities), his social awkwardness (undeserving of friendship), his special interest in the dark arts (undeserving of respect).

Lily's death crystallized such deep guilt inside of him that he devoted his life after that to atoning. I'm a firm believer that there's a clear before and after regarding the way he treated his body. Not that things were drastically different, but it made it worse. He ate less, slept less and touched himself even less. Probable not at all for a good few months, maybe even up to a year or so as he was extremely stressed from his new job, depressed and overcomed with grief. Honestly, at that point in his life he was barely functioning.

Then we have his adult life at Hogwarts: at that point in his life he's working and living where his worst trauma occurred. Not great for healing. During those years, he mastered the art of shutting down with occlumency everything he couldn't deal with, including his body's basic needs. He had excuses for everything. Sleeping? How could he rest when he had so much work to do dealing with the little shitheads and that infuriating Headmaster? Eating? Pfft, he had been fine all his childhood, so now he'd eat what he needed to function, but craving something and getting it wasn't something he'd allow himself. Masturbating? Tricky part, because he almost never thought about it anymore. He would not even treat it as a basic need. Like, sleep and food were still required to function, even in limited amount or he would pass out, but he could function without sex. Bottom line is, deep down he would feel undeserving of any sort of pleasure.

Rewarding his body, taking care of it wasn't allowed. It was part of his self-inflicted punishment.

But it would be still natural for his body to seek sexual release from time to time. He'd have hard-ons sometimes in the morning and ignore it until it went away, maybe take a cold shower or - why not - even take a potion he'd have invented to calm it down (or worse, to make it hurt so it would go down, if you want to go the masochistic way). The way I see it, every time he'd have an unwanted sensual/sexual thought (oh, this person at the Three Broomsticks has disarmingly pretty lips, this other person's got very elegant hands, or this one's hips look live they're meant to be grabbed), he'd shut it down immediately.

Fantasizing wouldn't be pleasant either. Each time, it would trigger the self-depreciating thoughts. Who are you fooling ? This person would never touch you, never look at you. And if they did, you wouldn't deserve it and would fuck it up anyway. Faceless people then, but it would still always be tainted with the ghost of years of bitterness, loneliness and unmet needs. So it'd be easier to pretend he doesn't have them or doesn't care. Of course this would do nothing to soothe his sour mood (and here talking from experience: I've been sexually frustrated quite a lot in my twenties, and I can definitely say that the mental relief you feel alongside the physical release when you get it is quite something. Like, I'd be a changed person, just because chemically my brain would finally be swimming again in endorphins. So yeah, at that point in his life I believe he's in dire need of a good shag and is partly always on edge because of this).

And when he would indulge in masturbation, it'd be because he's too tired to fight it or just because he knows that if he does, his body would leave him alone for a while. It would be quick, mechanical, in the dark, the mess cleaned up immediately and then forgotten about. The less thinking involved, the better so it wouldn't trigger the core beliefs. Maybe it'd happen when being tipsy after a night out with the other professors, or just when he was too stressed or exhausted at the end of terms and it was his body's way of asking for a break and a distraction.

I think he'd be also more prone to having his sexual needs resurface when he's not at Hogwarts and the mental toll of being there isn't weighing on him (maybe during summer or maybe even if he goes into the Forbidden Forest to gather potion ingredients, or a trip to Diagon Alley). He would find it really annoying, not realizing how the two are linked.

Then how would he be dealing with the constant tension and redirecting the release ? (fun stuff)

I think he could get a sick pleasure from being able to not indulge for long periods of time, thriving on his sense of control. He'd maybe even feel shame when he finally does, chastising himself for being weak.

When too tired to notice, late at night in his office, his body would hijack control a little bit and he'd start rubbing himself unconsciously with one hand while correcting essays and immediately stop upon realizing.

He'd be a GREAT candidate for edging. Like telling himself that if there's no release it doesn't count and he could get some pleasure whilst still shaming and punishing himself. Maybe sometimes even without touching himself directly, just letting the fabric rub on him, while shifting his hips just a bit. A good compromise he wouldn't want to analyze too closely.

Being pent up all the time makes one irritable, so some of that tension is fueling his already short-tempered nature and getting out by lashing out at idiots. It would also be a way to... spill out but with words (classy I know).

I don't see him doing any sport to get endorphins and relieve tension (though he does prowl the castle at night, that counts as walking haha).

The only part of his body I could see him pay attention to would be his hands as he uses them for potion work. He could be proud of their dexterity and I can imagine him taking care of them. Like, once of twice a week he'd put a cream or an ointment (self-made ofc) and massage his fingers and palms. Nothing sexual about it but it would be the closest he has to a gentle self-touch.

But mostly, his sole source of pleasure would still come from focusing on his interests. Working all night on improving a new potion, loosing himself in the method and appreciating his own skills, or reading about and experimenting with the Dark Arts (I don't think he ever stopped seeking knowledge, which is why he was able to save Dumbledore's ass from Marvolo's ring). These two things are his private garden, something that's inherently his despite everything, and it would be his way of pleasuring himself in an acceptable way: intellectually.

But what about the people around him or potential partners ?

He'd hate any sexual jokes or comments about him or in general. Sexually open people would make him angry (jealous). It'd irk him. As it's such a loaded and repressed subject for him he'd see them as flaunting their unspoken good experiences. He'd try to unconsciously shame them into silence by telling them they're being inappropriate. At the end of the day, it's just his way of protecting himself because he wouldn't know how to navigate the conversation, and his pride wouldn't let him feel ridiculed again.

He would also hate being looked at, even clothed. People judging his body would definitely trigger the awful memory from SWM. He would struggle immensely to accept the possibility of being looked at in an appraising way. If someone was sincere and stubborn enough to convince him they're not lying, he'd be extremely confused and wary.

And if he was to be attracted to that person as well, he'd have to deal with an almost second puberty on top of his core beliefs. He'd be so clumsy, so out of touch with his body and very frustrated with all the unwanted sensations he's not used to deal with. And that's such an interesting and fascinating subject aaaah.

At the end of the day, deep down he doesn't believes he deserves pleasure or comfort in his life so a partner would have to be patient with him. There's a lot of strategies they could try and I'd be delighted to explore them but I'm gonna stop here because this essay is so long already haha. SO, in conclusion:

He needs a good shag.

Thank you for reading.

UPDATE: go here to read how to bed deprived!Snape

I'd love to discuss how it would go with different characters trying to approach him, or I could talk about the classic trope of losing control because of his short temper but with him deprived, so many possibilties aaah, I love it when he's angry AND horny AND clumsy-

Also, my current favorite oneshot of deprived!Snape here : Cursed into Temptation by @marvel-snape-writes (very smutty, amazing, I'm on my knees)

[simpforsolas]

So I've seen a some discussion of people both criticizing and defending the DATV companions for being nice to each other. And I think the arguments from both sides are being a little bit misconstrued, which is honestly understandable. I think that often when something bothers us in fiction, it's hard to put into words exactly what it is. So as we try our best to express ourselves, it may not end up getting to the point of what the issue actually is (this is also why it can be tough for writers to properly address criticism - the readers providing the criticism might not be accurately diagnosing the root of the problem, so their attempts to fix it are shallow and don't actually address the issue).

Now I obviously don't speak for everyone, but I do think that a good amount of the people saying they want the DATV crew to be meaner don't actually mean they literally just want people to be rude and insulting each other for no reason. I think it boils down to three things that the new crew was missing:

Inability to really feel how the companion's backstories form their unique worldview

Lack of conflict between companions

Limited relationship dynamics between Rook and the companions

Inability to feel how companion's backstories form their worldview

In previous Dragon Age games, the characters frequently discussed and argued topics of philosophy, faith, politics, and beliefs. They came from all different backgrounds. You had Morrigan, a hedge mage raised to believe in self-preservation, teaming up with an Andrastian circle mage and former templar. Their beliefs and worldviews are, at their core, at odds with each other. The game doesn't necessarily try to make you believe one way or another, it simply drops you into the world and allows you to interact with these character, see their interactions with each other, and draw your own conclusions. In Dragon Age Inquistion, you have Cole, a spirit of compassion, teaming up with Vivienne, who believes the circle teachings that spirits are demons and want to possess people, and Sera, who represents the perspective of the common people that are afraid of all things magical or fade-related. You have Solas, a staunch individualist who believes in freedom for all, Cassandra, a faithful Andrastian who follows her own inner compass even when at odds with the institution of the Chantry, and Iron Bull, a Ben-Hassrath agent who believes in the Qun not because he's a philosopher and has decided that's what works best, but because that's how he was raised and so far, the Qun has worked for him. So in previous Dragon Age titles, you have people whose worldviews and beliefs are fundamentally at odds with each other, and whose actions and dialogues are a direct result of those beliefs. Veilguard really downplayed the importance of religion in Thedas, which isn't necessarily a problem in and of itself. In DA2, the only companion with strong religious beliefs is Sebastian. However, you had Anders who believed strongly in mage liberation, Fenris, who believed strongly in the dangers of magic, and Isabela, whose lack of belief and lack of respect for religion/beliefs led to one of the game's biggest conflicts. Discussion of religion and philosophy was always a huge part of the Dragon Age games, so when they almost entirely removed that element and didn't replace it with other types of belief that could lead to meaningful differences of opinion, we were just left with nothing of substance to really talk about. This isn't saying that the companions don't have things they believe in, but it's just not the same as characters from previous games. In general, their backgrounds don't form a unique worldview that results in differences of opinions and interesting conflict. Which brings my to my next point:

Lack of conflict between companions

There's a huge spectrum between "everyone is friends and always gets along" and "everyone hates each other and is happy when their ally is sold into slavery." In fact, fans often get really into fictional relationships that have quite a bit of conflict. Speaking for myself, I love relationships where two people may fight or disagree, but they truly care for one another and would willingly put themselves in harm's way to protect one another. So I think when a lot of people say the companions get along too well, they don't necessarily mean that they want them to all hate each other (maybe some do). They mean that they just want there to be interesting interpersonal conflicts. (I personally would love for a companion pair to argue a lot, but when it comes down to it, they actually really care about each other) Why do we want this? Well first, conflict just makes things more interesting. But I think that it also ties into point 1. In this game, the companions simply don't seem passionate enough about what they believe to argue for it, or, if they are, there's not anyone who challenges their beliefs and forces them to defend their position. I would say that Emmrich is very passionate about his love for spirits and necromancy, two things which are seen as weird and dangerous by most people in Thedas. However, there's almost no chance for him to passionately argue for his worldview because no one challenges it. There is that one scene with Taash finding his passion for working with the dead creepy, but as soon as the issue comes up, it's resolved. Compare that to Solas, where a big part of his characterization is love for spirits and frustration with fear and ignorance leading people to discriminate against what they don't understand. Having to face opposition to his beliefs, both in the world and within the inquisitor's inner circle (and sometimes the inquisitor themself), gives the writers the opportunities to emphasize core parts of his characterization.

On a final note for this section, it's just more interesting when different pairs of companions have unique relationships with each other. Solas and Cole's wholesome, mostly conflict-free friendship is made sweeter because you can compare it to Solas and Sera's relationship. It makes the relationships more meaningful when you can contrast it to how those same people click or don't click with other companions.

Limited relationship dynamics with Rook

The final issue I want to talk about is how all this ties into Rook. In previous games, you could learn a lot about a character's beliefs by seeing what they approved and didn't approve of. Anders approves of supporting mages, Fenris doesn't. Leliana approves of compassion for strangers, Morrigan doesn't because why should she help people who can't help themselves, and also it's a waste of time. Cole greatly approves of helping people, Solas slightly approves of you asking questions, Cassandra approves of expressing belief in the Maker, and so forth and so on. Then depending on the choices you make, your approval actually makes a difference in how these companions view you as their leader. But in Veilguard... well either the companions don't have strong feelings about things, or Rook isn't allowed to make decisions that oppose the beliefs they do have. Because of this, there's basically no conflict between Rook and the team. From my understanding, worst relationship you can get with the team is "distant boss whose employees don't invite them to their work parties," but that's not the same as Cassandra hating you so much she gets drunk or getting specific rival scenes like in DA2 where companions react entirely differently because Hawke consistently acted in opposition to their beliefs.

Final thoughts

So when people criticize the companions not getting along, I think it's less to do with the fact that people want them to hate each other, and more to do with the fact that we want companions who have a strong worldview shaped by their backstory, and for that worldview being challenged to lead to interesting conflict. Whether that challenge comes from other companions, the world, or Rook themself, I don't care - I just want interesting and meaningful conflict that is arises because the companions are strong characters who believe in something.

[rennyrose]

Need to ramble a bit about Livio in Stampede, have had thoughts tumbling around my head for a bit and need to put em out somewhere-

For a while I think I’ve been on the fence about the character that’s been portrayed for him so far in the anime- ill very readily admit I’m biased, as the manga version of him and Razlo I can easily say have been my favorite characters from any story I’ve experienced thus far and have been for quite a few years now.

As much as I joke or whine about his size in Stampede I think his design is fine on its own, it portrays what his character is supposed to be- a clean cut professional hitman/assassin that’s tied to this universe’s tech. I can also appreciate the concept of him constantly chasing after Wolfwood, I think there’s a lot that can be worked with there- but there’s an issue with the sense of his agency with that, which I’ll get into more.

It’s difficult not to compare Stampede to the manga, I understand that it’s supposed to be “its own thing”- but in regards to this specific topic I’m going to go into, imo, compared to the manga it’s objectively handled worse. (I also understand that being it’s an anime there is a greater time restraint to work with, and the episodes he was featured in are meant to have Wolfwood as the primary focus- at the end of the day LR are side characters)

The thing that easily gives me the biggest ick is was him attempting to “check out” at the end of ep. 7- actively suicidal and acting on impulse as a result of the rush of memories returning because of horrid acts either he or Razlo committed (this ramble isn’t about how Stampede portrayed Razlo in the brief .5 seconds he was there, given we don’t know for sure how Stargaze will handle him- but given how Liv was treated, I’m preparing myself to be very disappointed ((but open to being pleasantly surprised))

For me personally, one of the things that makes manga Liv so relatable is his passive suicidal nature, especially while being under Chapel in EOM. His general apathy and readiness to claim the status of being a victim can have someone easily argue that he is a bad person, and he doesn’t have much of a stance on whether he lives or dies. We do get hints of empathy from him (like killing the bad guy who was threatening the child from the orphanage and being willing to take the time to tell Wolfwood his story), but overall he believes his only purpose is to serve as sword and shield to the best of his abilities and does not care how others fare as a result, including himself. Quite frankly he more than likely would not be alive, either by his own hand or allowing someone to take his life if it weren’t for Razlo.

Part of this mindset of his remains even after volume ten, again I’ll refer to his quote referring to himself as a tool/weapon- while now having a purpose to live and go on, at no point does Liv himself state or portray a fear of dying. Regardless, his character development from having a victim mindset being turned into a sense of resolve and making choices to do better for himself and those around him is, quite frankly imo, the entire message that Trigun conveys.

Manga Livio is the precipice of the “blank ticket” metaphor- someone who was given the opportunity to start over, and made a choice to do better in spite of the actions he knowingly and readily committed prior.

Stampede Livio is unfortunately not that. From what we’ve seen his entire ability to choose at all was taken from him at some point. We’ve seen that he was a willing volunteer of EOM, and we’ve seen that he was working really hard to be on par with Wolfwood- but at some point it’s strongly implied that he was forced to commit atrocities that he wouldn’t normally have done by his own volition, and that the piece of tech he wears insures that he continues to do as instructed. There is a sort of horror that goes with that which in of itself is extremely interesting, but it doesn’t really flow with the message that Trigun intends to give. What can Livio learn or change from if it wasn’t “him” ever committing heinous acts or if his troubled past doesn’t continue to eat at him? What does he learn, or the main cast learn, if he was successful in committing suicide in a state of panic?

I honestly have no idea what to expect from Stargaze- I’m excited for it (although nervous) and I really hope they expand on the narrative for Liv, even if just a little bit. I can imagine it’ll be hard for the anime to make Liv be the precipice for the blank ticket metaphor again story-wise at this point, so I won’t be surprised if that turns out to be someone else.

[beware-of-pity]

You believe me like a god (I destroy you like I am) IV

Masterlist

Previous Chapter - Next

Jacaerys Velaryon x reader

TW: Self-hatred/Implied Self Harm. Complicated family relations. The reader is a Targtower.

Cross-posted on Ao3

Chapter IV: "Angel" he calls me (Does he know that I'm falling?)

Your room had become a graveyard of memories, most of its belongings were those passed down to you from your late family members, and its latest additions were your mother’s, which you kept in a coffer, locked and sealed in the corner of the small vastness of your room.

The air was often stuffy as a result, and between Helaena's insect viewing screens and your mother’s piled embroidery works, you took every opportunity you were offered to be far away from it.

Jaehaera, on the other hand, viewed it almost as a playground, often roaming it as a labyrinth of a past she could not remember, a past that wasn’t hers. You attempted to show her Helaena’s needlework or her insects collection, anything that could keep the memory of her mother alive, but your little girl did not seem that interested. You had put the effort off for the while, waiting at least until she was grown enough to remember what you were showing and telling her.

Instead, it seemed that she had found a toy and companion in a doll you and Helaena used to play with at her age, shaped to the liking of your mother, with dark, auburn hair and brown eyes. You had let her have it and asked Rhaenyra for some new fabrics, for you to sew some new clothes for the doll, as its last were old and ragged.

Today, you were allowed out during your change of guard.

To leave the ‘vault’, as people would call it, the long keep with the slate roof behind the royal sept your family was confined in, was like a breath of fresh air, for however fresh the change could be, seeing the foul smell the city often carried with itself and it’s reputation. Thankfully, the gardens were exempted from such nullity and nuisance, the smell of freshly planted flowers making up for its environment.

Such a pity Jaehaera had to attend her lessons on such a beautiful sunny day. You were sure she would have liked the feel of the sun on her skin after so long inside, but you most of all understood how important her lessons were for her, actively encouraging her to go to them even on those days she would not wish to, taking her to the chamber where they would be held, hand in hand.

Were you both to be confined to the Keep for the rest of your lives with no hopes of seeing any change, then her wit would one day become her saving grace, and you would make sure she cultivated her talents in quantity.

Just as you had been made to do at her age, for the rest of your life by your mother.

From where you walked, you got a clear view of the inner courtyard, filled and bustling with activity. From servants and stable boys hanging around to high and low nobles promenading around, as they always did, as if they had nothing better to do.

You knew very well that that was not just what they were doing. The art of lingering around, present but never noticed, becoming part of the backdrop in people’s lives was something that, while you could not go unnoticed of doing, was something you had learned a thing or two about since the beginning of your confinement as Rhaenyra’s prisoner.

Steely but silent, never to make a sound too loud, that’s how you moved around the halls of the Keep, watching with your ever-curious eye. If there was one thing you were grateful to your mother for, it was for teaching you never to take people or anything by their surface level. A man, as common as they come, could be the Lord of the Seven Hells in disguise, and by putting up a good bravado, he could fool even the wisest, the most pious. The angel of death disguises itself as an angel of light. The gods shine bright their light among the most faithful to protect others from him, but even the gods’ gaze cannot reach where their light cannot overpower the dark. It was in your best interest to understand people and their motives, now more than ever when your survival depended on it.

You watched as the familiar figure of Jacaerys came from the double doors leading to the courtyard. He donned his riding gear, very clearly prepared to head to the dragonpit to visit Vermax and take him for a ride. You were about to call out for him, greeting him and calling out for a good morrow, having only seen him now since yesterday, but stopped when you realised he was not alone.

Baela and Rhaena followed soon after, walking out the doors donned in the same riding gears as him, a clear sign that they were going with him to ride their dragons too.

The laughs of the trio reached your ears as you watched them smile and chatter with one another, so content and carefree. So unlike you and your predicament. You wished to be with them, in your own gear, going to the dragonpit to ride Silverwing, who you missed dearly. But it was a common truth that you could not. A truth you could only turn into reality in your dreams, where you dreamt of sitting upon the leather saddle on her back, soaring to the skies as you once used to.

You clenched your hand involuntarily, the pain so evident as you felt the tips of your nails dig into your palm, so deep that had you not stopped yourself, you were sure to draw blood.

A feeling so dark and viscous twisted at your heart.

How was this fair? Why should you have to pay the price for the sins of others? You had been pardoned for your family’s crimes, why, then, were you not allowed to return to a life of normalcy? Why, after two years since the war’s end, were you still treated as a traitor would?

Jaehaera, too, a girl so young and so bright, of just ten years of age, isolated by the children of her age, was allowed only to familiarise herself with Rhaenyra’s youngest sons.

The reasons as to why pulled at your viscera. If they were doing this for reasons that you were not allowed to know, if they were hiding them from you, you knew it was because they, too, understood that you would not stand for them.

Everyone had witnessed in what was now being called the ‘Dance of the Dragons’ how destructive and deep the rage and anger of the Targaryens could be. You seemed meek, weakened as the years passed, but no one forgot who you were, as you never showed yourself to be passive to slights and insults thrown your way. You had to stand for yourself, now more than ever, when you had no one to do so for you, and with a rage running so deep? Some would say the perfect recipe for disaster.

A Targaryen whose blood of the dragons ran as deep as that of those that came before you and those that will come after, as hot and boiling as that of dragons made flesh.

One day you will wake from the ashes of your sleep and remember who you were. Today, was just not that day.

You had been promised that you and Jaehaera would be treated well, but you knew very well that promises meant nothing. They could be easily spoken, so easily broken, just as oaths had been during the war. or how much longer this would last, you could not know.

You were comfortable now but in the future? Who would assure you a life worthy of being called as such? Jacaerys? Jacaerys would be too busy being King to assure you continued to have the life he was making sure you had now, and if rumours of him being betrothed to Baela were to become true, who is to say his gaze would not be too hastily driven to his new wife rather than to his duties or his responsibilities.

Because that’s what you were, a responsibility, now belonging to his mother, your sister, but one day to become his.

Watching them walk up to the wheelhouse, with no sense of worry or care, made you only want to be able to have what they had more than anything.

You turned to walk in the opposite direction, turning your gaze from that which you had begun to crave once more, something you knew you would not be given, could not be given, as they always reminded you.

Unbeknown to your thoughts, your feet had led you towards the forest of the godswood. You had not noticed until the darkness of the shade washed over you, glimpses of light shining down at you from the cracks of the moving branches.

The rustling of the leaves by the wind calmed your thoughts, your hunger for what you craved, the anger for what you were denied. The chirping of distant birds, the murmur of crickets, and the washing of the waves of the Blackwater Bay created the perfect backdrop for your walk, but the fresh chill made for a cold reminder of the spring that had yet to come as you clinched to your frame your shawl, moving it over your shoulder from where it rested hanging on your elbows. The thick walls shut out the clamour of the castle, creating the perfect quiet for your unrested mind, despite your occasional shivers.

You allowed the silence to surround you, only broken by your and your guard’s steps, who, unlike your wishes, moved unsynchronised. Ser Rickard’s were heavier, not just made so by his weight and height but also by the heavy armoury he concealed his body with.

He who had first been in your mother’s services when Ser Criston had gone to march against Rhaenyra, who, surprisingly, had been allowed for him to retain his position as a member of the Kingsguard, now the Queensguard.

Though he was appointed as your sworn protector to get him out of her gaze, she was not too fond of having her late brother’s treacherous servitude anywhere near her.

Ser Rickard was always kind to you, taking care of you as a father would, perhaps better than yours had when he was still alive. Despite the strict orders he had been given about never letting his eyes off you on these particular and secluded walks, he allowed you the freedom you were deprived in the thick walls of the Red Keep, which were known to have ears and mouths to carry the whispers of misbehaviour far and wide.

As you sat upon a bench, he took some steps back, watching over you from the distance as you gazed over the bay set before you. The sea leading to the Gullet was filled with merchant ships from around the continent, Volantis, Lys, and Braavos, going in and out, carrying with them the well-being of the Capital and that of its people.

The godswood was empty, as it would be along the walls of the city of Southron gods. Hardly anyone came here to pray. Prayer would only fill the ears of the trees when a Stark or a northerner was nearby, otherwise, the tree would have to bear witness to secret escapades from young couples, whispered plots or your solitary walks. You suppose even the gods would grow bored of such entertainment. You were not much to look at in this state, after all. At least for them, for it seemed you had indeed caught the eye of someone.

The sound of leaves being crunched under heavy boots that did not belong to Ser Rickard made the both of you twist in alert, awaiting the reveal of the intruder of your quiet.

The man had not proved himself to be a stranger by any means; you knew him quite well, the familiarity between you two not a hidden knowledge to one another.

“Lord Reynford”  Reynford of House Redwyne, Lord of the Arbour, once ally of your brother and a kin of yours, though through which unmanned and distant cousin you had never met, you could not tell. You had a vague idea of why he was here as you acknowledged his presence.

“Forgive me, your grace, I did not mean to interrupt the quiet” his voice was gruff and slightly monotone, not giving away anything. He dressed richly, even for his age. His face clearly showed his age, a man of over two and fifty years of age, who carried himself well despite his tenure.

“It’s hardly quiet, wouldn’t you say?” You asked, the sound of the city below you two proving your point.

“So it would seem, though I meant you quiet. The city can hardly be disturbed when in itself is a cause for disturbance,” he said, walking closer.

With the tail of your eye, you spied Ser Rickard stepping closer, and you held up a hand, signalling for him not to.

He stopped in his tracks, unsure whether or not to listen to your silent command, which went against what he was instructed. Though he cared for you and gave you much relative freedom, he was always at the ready to prove his loyalty to the monarch he was now sworn to serve. You did not blame him for not wanting to so easily disobey the orders he had been given or to prove himself disloyal by the newly bound oath he had sworn. It was beyond his bounds to allow this conversation to continue, of the possible treachery that was sure to be whispered.

Still, now, you found yourself wanting to be selfish, wanting this thing to be given to you. Fortunately for you, it seemed that Ser Rickard understood you too well. He returned slowly to his previous posting, giving you and Lord Reynford space and privacy for your conversation. He would grant you this, only because of how wanting you seemed of it.

“Such a pity, that such beautiful day is to be disturbed by the cold of the wind” Lord Reynford now stood in front of you, clutching his hand behind his back. He wore a heavy, blue cloak with a red fur collar fastened with a pin in the shape of a burgundy grape cluster. A true Redwyne, he presented himself as such, showing others how proud he was of his heritage.

“How true you speak, but I suppose beautiful things are not often left untouched by the harshness of the world. Wouldn’t you say?” He seemed to ponder your words, though you could see he wasn’t really giving them much thought, his mind somewhere else altogether, perhaps to the reason why he was here.

“How right you are, you yourself are a great example of such saying,” he said, his voice low “I do remember how charming you looked in green, princess. How dreadful these black gowns make you look” he extended a hand to pull a stray lock of hair behind your ear.

“You flatter me,” you said, closing your eyes at the contact of his finger against your temple, wanting nothing more than to pull away, but not wanting to be impolite, something you were taught to be unacceptable against high and honourable lords “but those times are gone, my lord. You best make sure to forget of them”

“Nonsense, i could never forget such pretty sight” he disagreed “How I and many others wish to see it again, you cannot imagine, Princess” You watched as he shuffled closer “More than anything, that and much more. We all wish for your happiness and your desires to be fulfilled”

“And what would you know of my desires, my lord?” You asked, tilting your head in a slight show of defiance, but not against him, but rather his assumption.

“Nothing, unless you wish to share them with me” How clever of him, he had plotted it all it seemed, not leaving a single possibility in its wake.

“And tell me, Lord Reynford. Are you of the same cloth that Lord Peake was cut from?”

Unwin Peake, a man known for being willing to die to see his ambitions succeed. He wasn’t exactly subtle in his straying of hands, his overstepping, his overaching. The way he pushed his daughter, of just one and ten years of age, into befriending the eight and ten-man that was Jacaerys concealed anything but what he was truly after. Like any other man, Peake yearned for the throne, though he wasn’t exactly quiet about his wants or needs, which was why his plans had not unfolded in the way he wanted.

He had fought for your brother through the very end, and as such, he had approached you many times, trying to inspire rebellion in you, which you quickly and always turned him down for, at times rather harshly for his insistence. But it wasn’t your fault that he didn’t understand that you had no interest in opening old wounds unless necessary. Unless it be to protect yourself and Jaehaera.

“I would sooner allow you to take my life than be condemned to the same ring of the seven hells in which that man belongs in” he replied gruffly, almost offended by the comparison. But he was a smart man who understood the question you had just asked him. The meaning of your words was plain to see. Was he here to try and use you for your plans, or was he an ally, here to reassure you of his loyalty and, most of all, his eagerness to serve you?

“You must believe me, your grace. I wish for nothing more than to serve you in my capacities” The reassurance was much needed, and though you believe his words to be sincere, you were not too quick to fall for them. Any man could speak with enough sincerity to get what he wanted, and though a servant and faithful subject, he remained a man, and men are but deceiving creatures. He would have to prove himself first.

“Your words are as sweet as the wine that flows at your feasts,” you said, voice thick “almost….intoxicating, if said to the wrong person we can only imagine the damage they could cause”

“Then we must make sure they do not reach unwanted ears, no?” His eyes burned with hidden conviction, one only for you to see. Bearing witness only, were the trees. They were there, listening, silent, watching you two. The greenery of their leaves, the greenery of the grass, the shade reflecting such colour. Green, a colour so bright and so deep, the colour of living things, of life, of earthly change and of rot. So many rotten things were green, your family having been one of them.

“You said that my desires are ones you share” you tested him, wanting his reaction. He perked at your words, clearly listening intently to your coming request.

Remember this feeling, you told yourself, this is the moment you stop being the lamb to the slaughter.

You were blind. No, you had blinded yourself of the truth which had now come to the surface.

You were rotten, just like them, just as your family had been, just as much as the words you were speaking. How sweetly the fox speaks when it is being cornered by the hound.

“I want to be free”

Taglist: @esposadomd

If anyone wants to be added, please comment so, and you'll be tagged in the next chapter

[gracefireheart]

Some nordic folklore creatures, but in (at least sort of) Gravity Falls style! :]

Got them here in separate pics + notes I tried to somewhat write as Ford. Though, I probably have massively failed 'cause I just can't replicate the fancy literature speak he does :')

Nisse

Might be related to Gravity Falls' own Gnomes, but with a few variations to them. For one, they are a little bigger than our resident Gnomes and have pointed ears instead of rounded ones. They also are more chaotic, but can become docile when given porridge of all things. And they tend to reside inside barns instead of the forest.

Such an interesting creature I wished I could speak to. However, whenever me and S have encountered one, they only speak in one of the languages of the nordic countries. They seem to understand us- calling us "turister," which a local have told us meant "tourists"- and absolutely despise us. Unless- like I mentioned earlier- we give them porridge. I would have to talk to the Gnomes and see if they have the same fascinations with porridge as these Nisse do.

Huldra

The locals I have talked to about Huldra have told a few different tales that either go one way or the other. Either they just want to get married, resulting in their cow tail popping off of them. Or they want to lure men away so they can kill them.

In a way, Huldra could be classified as a land version of a Siren. The only real big difference between one of these ladies and a regular woman is the cow tail I mentioned.

From what I have gathered, the Huldra have adapted a bit over the years to not only know the nordic languages, but also many other languages like English, Spanish, German, Hebrew, and so on. I do hope me and S can find one of them while we're here, I just hope it will not end in another rescue mission.

Nøkk

Nøkk- or Nøkken as some locals call them- is a creature that resides in lakes and sometimes rivers. Although it is probably one of the easier creatures to try and look for, we did not have the time to rent a car or walk all the way to one of these lakes that people had seemingly seen one in. Maybe some other day.

The descriptions of this creature, however, was still nonetheless interesting. It is mostly made out of algae and seaweed, has bright yellow eyes that gaze at you, and- during the full moon- can transform into a shining, white horse. The locals that have told me about this "horse form" have spoken about Nøkken luring people onto it's back before diving right into the water to drown them.

Draug

Draug- or Draugen- is a creature I have been advised to not encounter at all. The few that knew of it told of tales of sailors, fishermen, and seafarers alike stumbling upon this creature, then soon after meet their demise. Some have said Draugen is the one that kills them, some have said Draugen is simply there to warn of their upcoming death. No one is sure which is true as no one has met it and survived.

Another thing a select few locals have mentioned is how Draugen might have been once a human itself, but then met a tragic end out on the ocean. It would've been nice to try and speak to it, but considering the possibility of S and I dying as a result, I would rather not take the risk.

[multifandomloverthrowaway]

What Sky’s Character Should Have Been

(And why her and Viktor needed to be canon.)

This is LONG, and just my opinion. Please be nice!

In storytelling, each character, each scene, and each literary device is crucial for the advancement of the plot. If any is over or under utilized, the story remains cluttered or incomplete. That being said, it truly is a tragedy how horribly the characters, especially the Zaunite characters, came to be treated in season two. The characters and arcs set up in season one are butchered, and Viktor’s story is particularly disappointingly miswritten by the authors and misrepresented by the fandom, and we see this in the narrative and to a certain extent even fan treatment of Sky.

Sky is a ghost. Her presence, while tangible in the story, is not fully realized to the audience. We do not get to know much of her besides her interest in Viktor and a small flashback indicating that they knew of each other in their youth. Thus her existence and her death are ultimately unsatisfying; we do not know enough about her to be able to connect with her, and so she is ultimately only perceived to be an object to propel Viktor’s descent, even though we do not know much of his feelings towards her either. This is an unfortunate misuse of her as a supporting character, especially when it has a good potential reason to exist other than to solely be Viktor’s love interest.

Before understanding what Sky can represent, let us first define her in the context of the setting, particularly in relation to the characters that she supports. I have touched upon this in more detail in my Viktor character analysis posted, but for the TLDR:

It is clear that Jayce and Viktor are foils to one another. The difference in their opinions on Hextech sets them up to be a parallel to an important aspect of the class struggle set up in season one: Even when the oppressed are “good enough” to compete with their privileged peers, the resultant treatment by the oppressor between both is starkly different. Where the privileged will be lauded and commemorated, the oppressed will only be served minimal acceptance and approval. Thus, their characters and how they interact with one another, as well as the characters of their immediate mutual contacts and their own corresponding interactions, should serve explore this struggle further, especially when it comes to Sky, Mel, and Heimerdinger.

So Sky, like Viktor, should show how Piltover can misuse Zaunites against their hometown. However, to keep her character separate from him, unlike Viktor, who loses himself getting out of this trap and back to Zaun, Sky must be lost to trap itself. She must show just how inhumanely far Piltover will go in exploiting Zaun to maintain its subjugation over the latter. Like we see with other innocent Zaunite background characters that are killed by Piltover on the battleground, Sky must represent those that are killed in softer, more covert methods: through the extraction of Zaun’s finest intellect and the resulting false diplomacy. We must eventually see how Piltover indirectly kills her for being Zaunite, even though we know she is killed by Viktor and the Hexcore.

Sky then needs to have a fleshed out background that indicates of her optimism, grit, and innocence. It does not have to be as in depth as that of the main characters, but the audience must be shown the following:

Her academic prowess that indicates how she can capture sponsors and spin her botany research to help Zaun into something that Piltover thinks it can also benefit from. From which councilors or patrons does she benefit? How and why?

Her motivations for Zaun. What does she view an ideal Zaun to be? What would its relationship with Piltover be? We know she wants to make it better by creating natural greenery, but why does she choose to do so in Piltover? What pushed her to apply to the academy?

Her relation to Viktor, the only other known Zaunite at the academy. Did they interact more than that one time in the river? Were they friends or mutuals? How did Viktor help her get a position as his assistant and why? We know she is fond of him, but what about the other way around? What are their experiences at the academy like? How do they interact with casual prejudice? Do they stick up for each other? Do they find support in each other?

We must see her struggles to successfully obtain funding and traction for her own research due to Piltovan pushback and prejudice. (In this case, she must be in the same research group as Jayce and Viktor, but no longer their assistant as a decade is far too long to remain as such. She will be tied to Jayce’s name but not under him or Viktor.) This needs to be shown to contrast Jayce’s ease in becoming a councilor and gaining enough authority to push out Heimerdinger to further his and Viktor’s research. We need to see her project take the back seat because it is not the project that Jayce is directly tied to. We must see her have to to be careful and planned in who she talks to, how, and what she is able to get from them. This would provide a perfect parallel to Mel and about how being outsiders provides challenges when it comes to change; one being born into power with an imperialist upbringing and getting past Piltovans gracefully to a councilor position to invite it, and the other having no power and so relying on the street smarts and a resource seeking mindset from a more impoverished background to scavenge for it… yet both using the same methods (smooth talking, strategic connections, etc.) to do so.

We need to also know her relationship with Zaun and her perception of Piltover. She must be shown to nurture her feelings about the unfair treatment of her home into a more determined and optimistic view of potential equality and diplomacy, and their growth over time with her and Viktor’s research and their duty to represent Zaun. We should see her friendship with Jayce. We should see her interact with Mel and Heimerdinger. This not only lets the audience sympathize with her by empathizing with the struggles she faces above and her defiance in face of them, but also contrasts Viktor’s internal anger about Zaun and Piltover that he lets fester with his growing ailments and erasure of academic and technical contributions. This contrast sets her up nicely to symbolize the “good that could have been” in the relationship between Zaun and Piltover, and thus by extension, between Viktor and Jayce - hence her initial role as their assistant, and something that is cast aside as each character grows more towards their goals rather than the partnership.

This also sets her up to personify Viktor’s humanity. We’ve seen them meet. Let us see them study together, build things together, perhaps even fend for essentials together. Let us see how and why Sky fell in love with the Viktor from her youth. Let us know of Viktor’s endearment of her as we see him choose her to be his assistant. Let us see how they interact after facing prejudice from Piltovans and band together. Let us see her meet him when he’s on the hospital bed. Let us see her and Viktor be protective of and vulnerable with each other as they face the enemy. Let us see them bond just like we have seen him do so with Jayce. With Sky, we can see Viktor’s insecurities and his empathy like no other character can; in her we can see what makes him human.

This is integral to Viktor’s character and his arc. Whereas Jayce can actively work towards a future for his life with Mel and his career outside of Hextech, Viktor does not have the same luxury due to his illness. He cannot pursue anything but Hextech because his life and the lives of his people are on the line due to Piltover’s control. And that is precisely why when Sky loses her life due to the technology, it isn’t just Viktor that kills her. It’s Piltover’s waste, Piltover’s luxuries, Piltover’s unfulfilled promises that do. And Viktor realizes that after. Sky, in all her optimism, is fundamentally what Viktor could have strived for had he not let his anger and urgency spiral. As a mirror to Mel and Jayce, Sky is not just Viktor’s past but also his hopes for the future. And he realizes that he and Zaun has lost what could have been.

By giving Sky agency, we see just how much she could have done for the plot. But seeing how much the story fumbled Viktor, it’s not surprising to see her get “fridged” twice. I hope I did her justice!

If you’ve read this all, you deserve all the desserts. Thanks for reading!

[cephalopolis-life]

An analysis of Jade's trailer because my religious trauma can be useful now

Snake in biblical context-

 Overall snakes can mean many things, from death and the underworld but here well focus on snakes in abrahamic, specifically christian tradition. The serpent in the garden of eden which is the one who tempted Eve into eating the forbidden fruit. 

In this way we see a few key elements of Jade’s characterization come to light- She is partners with her snake, who consumes and devours enemies, her stoneheart ability is to see desires. She focuses on providing temptation to others. Another aspect we see is an emphasis on patience- which is an aspect also reflected in the story- Eve lacked patience and consumed the fruit, while Jade provide temptation with all the patience in the universe. 

We can also see some of this reflected in the depiction of Lilith which at times has been depicted as a demon or beast of the desert, and in early 5th century translations of the bible is depicted as lamia- generally depicted as monstrou half snake half women (or hot if you're into that).

We’ll go into more of the snake symbolism later.

Let''s talk about the table.

When we return to Judaeo-christian references we have Jade sitting front and center- with exactly 12 empty spots. Remember the trailer is her chasing after someone who gave into temptations and betrayed the IPC. She is chasing information on a betrayal similar to a very famous betrayal that took place after a dinner that famously held 12  seats with one in the center… 

Interestingly enough in this moment Jade decides to add that a ‘will’ can also bring death- Those who betray their ideals/morals bring a certain death upon themselves or others, similar to how Judas Iscariot’s betrayal brought death upon jesus and persecution to his followers. 

As she says this she has another 12 people bowing to her.

Next we see  the IPC worker stung up- another judeo christian reference- and this one much more direct. Jesus on the cross, but what part does Jade play in this story- We have seen her sit centre stage during the last supper, and now she approaches the cross, pulling the IPC worker down. 

She then chastizes the IPC worker- calling him a naughty child and asking him to tell her where ‘they’ are. 

When we look back at the religious Symbolism we already have we cna pretty easily see the parallels between her and temptation. She was centered in the betrayal, and now she is the cause of their persecution- Giving into temptation, to desire gives her power. 

Finally we see her fully- as one of the Ten stonehearts with her whip out.

She embodies the power of the snake itself, her whip covered in thorns. While we  famously have the religious imagery of the crown of thorns we can also take it as a measure of how thorns and temptation can dig under one’s skin pulling everything else with it- We are also brought back to biblical imagery related to the garden of Eden  where the first curse brought upon mankind as a result of Adam’s ‘sin’ is the presence of “thorns and thistles” 

At thisi time we also see the first instance of the color red permeating through the background. 

At this time we also see the first instance of the color red permeating through the background. 

We then get the first instance of a clear reference to Sin:

Superbia- or Pride. We also see the red snake descending on the right hand side. When we again look at biblical references we know that Lucifer, who later became a snake to tempt Adam and Eve- Fell to the sin of pride- causing him to rebel against the will of god and fall from heaven. 

Not only is the snake here associated with pride but it is descending front he top of the screen as the IPC worker falls to Jades attack. As he falls the snake opens its jaw to reveal red fangs and tongue. As jade walks forward ink seems to seep out of her every step as the IPC worker gives in and agrees to talk. 

We finally get to see Jade’s Symbol- 

And interesting adaptation of the Ouroboros Symbol we usually see. While we recognize the cymbals of infinity created by the Snakes body, unlike the usual Ouroboros, the snake has a beginning and an end, the mouth and tail are not connected. 

Within Honkai Star rail Lore we do know of Oroboros, the Aeon of Voracity.

They are described as the Drinker of Worlds- a being that is all consuming, in the eyes of Oroboros the Voracity life is a small fragment in the sea of Void, destined to return to Them. 

We can see here the idea of patience- All things eventually will be consumed by the Voracity- just as jade has the patience to wait for the outcome of her plans. We also know that in Dev Log1 in simulated universe we get a bit of an IPC cameo.  It specifically states “Had Louis Fleming encountered Oroboros the Voracity, he might have approached the Aeon with the intent to attract all wealth throughout the universe! Fortunately, Oroboros has vanished without a trace.” interesting that one of the founders of the IPC is brought up in the entry for the Voracity- an Aeo that can be ascribes to the sins of greed and gluttony.

Next in the video we see the IPC worker inside a grid or wreath of snakes, with a symbol in the center that resembles creatures that we as trailblazers have encountered

The Heliobi are essentially beings of energy that consume emotions. They are also noted to be part of a race of Extraneous Demons. The heliobus reference here is fascinating, as we know that not only do they consume emotions- but they trick their host into indulging in the actions that would trigger intense emotion such as binge eating or self harm, or even violence against others. 

Creatures that guide people to indulge in the same sins we are seeing presented in the trailer. Heliobi are also creatures of insatiable hunger. Specifically:

“No matter how many bodies it steals, its wish remains unfulfilled. Like those who seek the medicines of immortality, it craves an imperishable vessel, one that will rid it of its fear of destruction. And yet, it knows this is a dream that will never come true.” — Regret of Infinite Ochema

Heliobi are drawn to people that have intense desires- willing to more easily fall into temptation. 

After this we see jade state there is never just one as she is attacked quickly taking him down and giving us a glimpse of our next Sin:

Invidia- Envy. 

We also hear jade mention that while the quantity of those attacking her is high they lack the quality to defeat her. Each one of these members- fueled bu sin and desire- possibly envious of what higher ups had- gave into temptation, and in doing brought down Jade’s will, one that brings death. 

Her serpent is awakened and we finally see it in full force.

They bring upon themselves the Wrath of the serpent, a serpent surrounded by the word Gula- or gluttony. A serpent that will devour.

As the serpent attacks we see hands reach out to her seal in the center- as if reaching out for help and relief from the consequences of their indulgence into temptation.

As the IPC traitors fall to the floor we once again return to the crucifix as a symbol-

the IPC worker strung on the cross a victim to his own temptation and betrayal, a consequence of his Sin. 

We also get our next sin:

Acedia- or sloth. An IPC worker too lazy to work his way up, indulging in sin and suffering consequences. The narrative of the trailer becomes a clear story, and we have found our ‘culprit’

Jade stands before him

Surrounded by the serpents of his sins, and he falls. “Once a will is ignited, it will spark even more desires.”  We then see our last sin of the video Ira- Wrath.