#it's janky but looks pretty at the same time. maybe it's just too weird looking for most?

[sidhedust]

Damnnnn, I get my work is an acquired taste but to post your art in a server and see one like/heart from a bot while the posts before you and under you have that bot heart AND real hearts from real people...ego DESTROYED rn just devastated lads

[dedalvs]

Hey Dave, hope you are doing fine! I have been conlanging for some years now and one thing that always bugs me is developing a TAM system, I end up always falling into the past/pres/fut or past/non-past distinction, maybe with a proximal/distal split if I'm feeling adventurous, and with time it has started to feel very...samy-ish, wondering if you might have some advice for creating realistic TAM systems?

Thank you, really love your work.

I think you're looking at this from the wrong angle. Almost all TMA systems start out simple and get more complex. This is because systems that start off as one thing end up getting used for another thing, then something new and janky ends up replacing one function of the old thing, and now the old thing is only used for a strange thing, with the janky thing becoming the new way of doing the simple thing. And then the same thing happens again. And again. And again. And again.

A super simple system might be something like this:

kaba "eat/ate"

kabakaba "is eating"

This is basically perfective vs. imperfective, and it's rather iconic. As you know, perfective can be "is eating", "was eating", "will be eating", etc. It depends on the temporal context (basically, throw in "yesterday", and suddenly it's "was eating").

Now this is a perfectly fine strategy. No reason for it to change. But with verb systems, speakers are basically like...

And so suddenly they decide, you know what? If you're going to be doing something, a lot of things are done while sitting, so what if...

hona "sit"

hona kaba "is eating"

Suddenly you use hona plus verb for the present. Then suddenly you have:

kaba "ate"

hona kaba "is eating"

kabakaba "was eating"

And now you have a unique verb form for the past imperfective like Spanish.

Then basically you do that with a bunch of other things and you can get a bunch of crazy verb forms.

But the trick is, if it ever gets too crazy, speakers replace them. They replace them with "simpler" things (that aren't really simpler), then they coalesce into verb forms, then those verb forms become too "complicated", and so they're replaced by "simpler" things, etc.

If you look at it as a synchronic system, that's where you get weird things like, "This language has a presumptive hodiernal realis subjunctive!", but the names are usually garbage and are out of date by the time the new generation of speakers can use a smart phone. Verbal systems are the most lifelike part of a language, in that the moment you think they're one way, they change. Really deflating as a conlanger. The darn things don't sit still...

So yeah, don't worry about your systems not being complicated enough, and don't worry about what the various systems are called. Just create a system, use it, figure out how speakers would replace it, do it, and keep going. You'll get to something pretty complex without even realizing how you got there.

[heckyeahponyscans]

Thoughts on MYM #1 (”Izzy Does It”)

Like I said before, I decided to watch one MLP Make Your Mark episode per week, to make them last.  So far I’ve only watched “Izzy Does It”.  No spoilers for later episodes please.

I’m just going to yammer about my thoughts on the episode and speculate on what might be coming next. :)

First of all, the animation is VASTLY improved from the 44 minute Make Your Mark special.  The seagulls look cute instead of possessed, the character movement doesn’t have any janky sped up moments, and Sunny’s lips don’t look weird anymore, which I think is due to them changing the lighting.

My guess is the special was rushed because of corporate demands or something.

Plot summary:  It’s Sunny’s birthday and Izzy (sort of by accident) makes her a hair ornament.  Pipp shows it off on her social media, leading to all the other ponies wanting one.  But Izzy doesn’t know how to replicate it.  

Pipp tells Izzy to make the same thing “but better”; Sunny encourages Izzy and tells her to return to her roots.  Roots . . . trees . . . Bridlewood! Izzy heads off to her old home and discovers an abandoned scooter along the way.  Meanwhile at home Pipp has run into a creative block on her new song.  

Just as she’s feeling guilty about giving Izzy “bad advice”, Izzy triumphantly returns. She basically misinterpreted Sunny’s and Pipp’s advice to create her own moral about being herself.  She also fixed / refurbished the old scooter to become her new playset unicycling cart.  Izzy then reveals that she did a remix of one of Pipp’s old songs, to Pipp’s delight.  

While all this is happening, a unicorn without a cutie mark, Misty, is sneaking around town at the behest of a villainous alicorn named Opaline.  Misty leaves Sunny a magic hand mirror that allows Opaline to spy on the ponies, though not when they’re inside the lighthouse.

Thoughts on the plot:  This was a pretty good episode, but it had some parts that could have been made clearer.  Like it was kind of odd that Izzy was fretting about other ponies wanting the hairband when she wasn’t shown being mobbed by them or anything.  I think it would’ve worked better if she had a stall at the craft fair and initially she’s happy fulfilling unique requests for crafts, but after Pipp’s video the other ponies ONLY want replicas of the hair ornament and Izzy feels pressured /  uncreative / stops having fun.

I would’ve cut the stuff with Pipp having creative block and instead Pipp’s subplot could have been, idk, she’s well-meaning but she gives advice thoughtlessly. Like for HER pleasing her fans is extremely important but maybe for Izzy fulfilling her creative spark is more important. She gives Izzy advice, Izzy runs off to Bridlewood, Pipp worries that her advice caused Izzy to run away, she realizes she should think her advice through.

And then obviously the scooter has to be in there, it’s a toy tie-in, so the finale could be Izzy returning to her booth at the craft fair with all her new supplies and this time when the townsfolk want the replica hair ornament she’s like “Let’s try this OTHER craft first, okay?”  (Pipp would be helping with this since she’s the confident friend.) And obviously the ponies love their unique craft, which combines Izzy’s creativity and their own.

Random thoughts:

Misty is soooo cute! I love her and I hope with all my heart that she eventually becomes a main cast member.  (They don’t have a blue pony yet!)  ALSO that would mean they would have two unicorns, two pegasi, and two earth ponies, which I always love.

Opaline is a wonderful villain, she’s so extra. She’s SO MEAN to poor Misty yet I love every line that comes out of her mouth.  “Don’t think, you sound foolish.”

Opaline claims she found Misty as a lost foal and took her in; I kind of think she’s lying and, like, murdered her parents.  Maybe that’s too dark for MLP though.  Unlike Sunny, Opaline’s alicorn horn and wings are real (not translucent) and she is taller than the average pony.  About Princess Cadence’s size.

Tidbits from Opaline and Misty:

- there used to be a cloaking enchantment around Equestria

- Opaline gloats that she’ll be “even more powerful than I was before”

- Misty’s observations about cutie marks are the first time they’ve been mentioned directly in the G5 shows

- Misty doesn’t have a cutie mark but Opaline does

- Opaline talks about getting an ally to help her infiltrate Equestria (not Misty)

Other Random Thoughts

It feels like they don’t know what to do with Sunny.  It’s too bad because I felt like she was well-developed in the movie.  Adventurous, impulsive, a little sarcastic at times . . . Okay, her main life-goal has been accomplished but she should still have a personality!

The humor in this episode was also a big improvement over the 44 minute special.  (With the exception of Izzy building a tower of junk for Sunny’s birthday which was just ???. But yeah, overall much improved.) 

Izzy felt closer to Movie Izzy in this than to Tell Your Tale Izzy, who has mostly felt like Pinkie Pie 2.0.  I’m a big fan of Movie Izzy, so yay! Also the rainbow picture looks a lot like the original MLP logo.  They also played the jingle right at the beginning of the episode!

At one point Opaline says, “So these are the weak little ponies that brought back magic?” and Misty says, “Almost like any pony could do it.”  Which I like.  I don’t think Sunny Starscout was the only pony who could have brought back magic; I think she was simply one of the few ponies willing to try.

Finally, here’s a screenshot of Toots, Sweets, and Windy hanging out. I just thought it was cute.  Also Sweets has a scrunchie in her tail, which I love.

[borderlineomniverse]

Gorgeous: a Jebrex Flash Fic

a/n: I know I'm sorry it's taken me this long. Just dont judge too hard, okay? The beginning is a little janky cause I didn't know how to start it but this came to me in a fit of inspired passion so I'm passing it along to you. Also, happy two years to Borderline Forever! This release synced up perfectly.

Based on the Taylor Swift song of the same name, no major warnings, but there's a weird POV change tho if you're not into that sort of thing. Also, language. Enjoy!

~~~

It’s not fair. Why does he have to look… like that.

There he is, the big dork. Looking really funny in his bright red shirt. A mismatched pair of khakis and brown loafers that look just a tad too small. Messy hair (I’m shocked he’s not wearing a hat), tapping and twirling along to the bashful bubblegum beat.

I inhale sharply and decide to sit down with Scott. He’s laughing at something Jerry said.

“Where’s Terry?” they ask.

Another sigh. Where indeed did my boyfriend disappear off to? “The club, I think. Who knows what he’s doing.”

“Not you.” Rex slides into the booth at my side. My breath stops in my throat and I look directly ahead. Out the window, a beautiful sunset. It’s vibrant shades of orange and red, matching his button up. Oh gosh why’d it have to look like that.

Whiskey is served. Normally I don’t drink too heavily, but this night all bets are off. My fingers lock on the bottle and have the cap unscrewed before Scott can sit up and thank the waiter.

“Hot damn. Someone’s thirsty,” says Jerry.

“Yeah, thirsty for something,” Rex teases. Fuck, I shouldn’t have glanced at him when he said that. A bite of the lip and a flirty wink. Why does he have to be like this?

I down the bottle. Then the second. The waiter brings out more. How many have I had now? I can’t tell, Jerry keeps clearing them away before I can count them. They don’t seem to pay much attention to me, laughing and checking out the other partygoers. Rex comments on the pretty brunette. I’ve had enough.

“You’ve got. *gulp* The worst vocabulary I’ve ever heard.”

I get a few weird glances from the table.

“Honestly. Dumpy?? That’s the best word you can think of? Dumbass?”

“Oh yeah? What word would you have used?”

“And your drawl. ULGH it makes me sick.” Or maybe it’s just the whiskey. I hate whiskey. Why did I have so much?

“You’re drunk.”

“And you’re mean.”

“What did I do this time?” Rex stands, exasperated. “You’re the one insulting me.”

“Payback for Thursday,” I growl, also rising out of the booth.

Jerry puts his hands up in a gesture of calming. “Hey guys, why don’t y’all just…”

“SHUT.” The two of us say in unison. It makes me look back at his dumb, gorgeous face. I can’t stand it.

“Look, if you can’t handle being without me for one night…” Rex starts, almost sleazily.

“You told me you would be at my apartment at 5:00!” I yell, turning heads. “So I waited, and waited. And waited. And by the time it was 11 all I got was a dumb text saying you wouldn’t show up; how can you do that to a person?? Your communication skills…”

“Hey, uhh, why don’t we head outside?” suggests Scott. I try to protest but before I know it the four of us are in the parking lot and Scott’s sitting me in his passenger seat. He shouldn’t have rolled the windows down; I give Rex a middle finger as we drive away. I get a violent honk in response.

“What is going on with you two?” asks Scott, turning off the radio.

“I don’t know,” I whine, the sting of tears gracing my eyes.

“Look. I know things haven’t been great with you and Terry lately, and I know you’ve always cared about Rex…”

“I love him, Scott,” I sob, choking on my spit as tears start to free fall. “Why do I have to love him?”

“Have you always?”

“I don’t know. No. Yes. I don’t…” I wipe my eyes with the sleeve of my sports coat, which if you’ve ever tried to do that you’d know that that’s like trying to dry your eyes with a countertop. Not extremely effective.

“Then why’d you ask out Terry?”

“I don’t know. Maybe I was hoping…”

“To make Rex jealous?”

I cough. “Sure.”

We drive down the cold open Ohio road in silence for what seems like forever. When lights start to appear on the horizon, Scott takes a deep breath. “Break up with Terry.”

“Huh?”

“Break up with Terry. I think he’d rather be just friends anyway. And then maybe… I think you’d be surprised by Rex’s reaction.”

“What, like he’d notice? Dumbass wouldn’t know if a snake bit him on the nose.”

Scott gives me a side eye. “You’re smiling.”

“Am not.”

“Sleep on it. Think about it. But… I do think that would be the right decision.”

I’m sure Scott is right. He always is.

~~~

The seasons pass. Jeb and Terry break up; its for the best, to be honest. I never thought they were good together, and they're both still friends. I don't think Jeb could handle the communications issues, and Terry wasn't 100% in it. Oh well.

The hardest part was seeing my best friend look so down. He didn't talk for days. He finally started to brighten back up after the first month, but still... something's off. I can sense it.

There he is, in a gecko green button up. Almost four hours have past at this stupid party and he's chatted it up with everyone here, except me. When Employee and I came to say hi, all I got was a quick handshake before he dashed to the dessert table and snarfed up all the cookies and a glass of champagne. Here we go. He's never had that good alcohol tolerance, this night is going to be a mess...

I sit, a little dejected, at an empty table. He walks by; I catch his eye. There's a flash of a little something... terror? Sadness? Guilt? I give him my best soft smile. He stops in his tracks. His smile says he's happy, but his eyes say he's drowning. Fuck, why can't I get anything right? It's like no matter how I talk to him or look at him, I've hurt him. I motion for him to join me. He obeys.

"What's up with you?" I ask him as he takes a seat.

He looks at me with a blank stare. "What?"

"You're not yourself. Is Terry still bothering you?"

He winces. "No. I'm fine. I've gotten over him."

"Then what is it. I've known you for years, Jeb, and I..."

When I speak his name, his back straightens. "It's fine, Rex. I'm okay." He gives me his best fake smile. "Life of the party, right? I'm having fun."

He goes to get up, but I grab his hand as it caresses the tablecloth. He jolts, half standing. I get up and gently take his hand in mine, looking him right in the eye.

"Jeb. You can't keep doing this. Don't keep ignoring me."

"I'm not..."

"Yes, yes you are. I know it, Scott knows it, hell even Jerry noticed, and he never notices anything."

He chuckles lightly, and even though the smile is slightly pained it puts a smile on my own face. I haven't seen him chuckle like that in what feels like forever.

But the moment doesn't last; I feel his hand yank out of mine and he stumbles past me. "My cats need me. I have to get home."

Record scratch. "You got cats?"

He looks back at me, smiling a little bit. "Yeah, right after I moved out of Scott's.

Perfect opportunity. "Can I meet them?"

His face drops for a moment, but then a grin creeps onto his face. "Don't you want to stay here?"

"I'd much rather be with you."

A glint graces his eyes. "Come along, then."

Since we took separate cars to get here, I tell him I'll meet him at his place and I let Employee know he'll have to get a ride with someone else. He understands.

After I ensure that he secures transportation with Scott, I head to my car and ignore all laws of traffic to get to Jeb's apartment as quickly as I can. Music blasts on the stereo; some vibrant pop number. Something about ocean blue eyes.

I park on the street next to Jeb's new apartment. I've only been here once, to help him move in. He never invited me over after that. He's been dodging all my calls and questions. Hopefully tonight I'll be able to get to the bottom of why.

I tentatively rap on the door and wait for it to open. It creaks cautiously, and behind it Jeb stands, still in his formal getup.

"Welcome to my humble home," he says, escorting me inside.

Its clean. Way too clean. You ever walked into a new house or apartment for sale and it's clear that no one lives inside it? That's what his little studio feels like. Nothing has been touched, not a knife in the kitchen or the fabric of the couch. This raises a few alarm bells in my head; clearly, Jeb has not been living. At least, not really. There's one thing to have a clean place that's lived in, and then there's another to have a home completely devoid of life.

"What do you do all day?" I ask.

There's a flash of... something in his eyes. "Sleep, play with my cats. Play some Gex. Work."

"You don't have any hobbies? Nothing you're doing?"

"Gex?"

"But like. You're not staying productive? At all?"

The concern in my voice raises his emotional barriers. "You're not my mom. I'm fine. I didn't invite you in here to tell me how to live my life. Come see my cats."

I want to press the matter more, but I don't. He leads me to the back of his apartment, where his bed is set up. He gets down on the floor and looks underneath it. "Look, there they are. They like to hide here."

I get down and lay prone, sniper style. Indeed, two tabby cats; one lithe and orange, the other burly and brown.

Normally, I'm not a huge cat person, but I feel the need to encourage my clearly distraught friend. "They're so cute! Wha'dge you name them?"

He blushes. "Gex and Stanley."

I laugh; some warm feeling spreads throughout my chest. "Perfect names. Which one's which?"

"Stanley is the bigger one."

"Gotcha."

I keep looking at the cute little cats for the moment, but then I realize how close we are. Jeb's lying next to me, our faces inches apart. I look over at him, and his eyes catch mine. My chest tightens.

"Jeb?" I whisper.

"Yeah?"

"Why've you been so distant, buddy?" My throat tightens. "I've missed you."

His eyes start to cloud. "I. Well. I don't know."

I sit up. "That's not good enough. I know something's hurting you, you've been bothered for a while now. I always thought you would come to me with anything, and usually when something's bothering you I'm the first one you go to. But ever since you and Terry broke up..."

"It's you, okay?" Something snaps in him and the tears start to fall freely. "I. I can't stand being around you all the time."

Initially, a little anger and hurt rises to the top of my brain, but he rolls on.

"You're too perfect, it actually hurts. We've always been close, and I've always loved that, but... I don't know. It's become too much. You make me so happy it just turns back to sad. And I know you're always off looking for some girl to pick up..."

Too far. "Hey hey hey, I never just pick up girls. I haven't had a date in months."

He sniffs. "Wait, really?"

I shrug. "Maybe you're not the only one with a crush."

His head, perhaps subconsciously, cocks to the side. "What?!"

"Jeb, I've always loved you. Me playing around... that's always just been a joke. And seeing you in pain all these months... it's driven me nuts. I hate it when you're sad. I've just been trying to make you happy and reach out and see if, well. Since you broke up with Terry, I thought maybe we'd have a chance..."

"Wait wait. You wanted to ask me out after Terry?"

I inhale. "Before Terry."

The corners of his mouth turn up and the tears stop. "Oh."

I smile sheepishly. "Maybe you shouldn't have assumed you couldn't have me and should have asked me instead."

He bites his lip and takes a few deep breaths before letting out a pained laugh. "I'm so stupid."

I grin. "No stupider than me."

"Gosh, why couldn't this have happened like a normal couple. Why couldn't have we, I don't know. Gone to the river and asked each other out in a normal way instead of..."

"Crying on the ground covered in cat hair?" I laugh. "That's not us Jeb. This was never gonna happen normally. And I'm glad. It's more memorable this way.

He laughs, for real this time. "Yeah. I suppose it is."

We're still close on the floor, even though we're both sitting up now. I stare lovingly into his eyes. They're still a little glassy, but the honey brown is clearer now. He smiles softly, and so do I.

"You're gorgeous, you know that?"

~~~

Pining playlist for your consideration that inspired this post

Thanks for reading!

[wedding-shemp]

So being the person I am, as soon as I heard there was a new Hellboy video game I dropped everything to play it. I'm about an hour into Web of Wyrd, here's my impression so far:

-so far the levels are very...same-y? There's very little in the way of identifiable landmarks, all the rooms blend together a bit imo. Luckily the levels are pretty small so I haven't gotten all that lost yet, but I can see it being a problem

-on that subject I do hope the environments change over time. I've played two levels in a row in the same boring beige landscape, and if this is the whole game than I will be a tad disappointed

-speaking of the look of the game, its...fine. it's cel shaded graphics and they do a decent job translating Mike Mignola's art style, but idk. Some angles on Hellboy's model look great and some look very janky and cheap. I guess what I'm getting at is there have been a LOT of games that look like this recently, and the bloom is a bit off the rose for me.

-the actual meat and potatoes of the game is the combat, and once I got into the swing of it I had a lot of fun! The camera gets caught on geography a little too often though, which can really fuck things up for you during a boss fight. Unfortunate.

-overall the performance is Not Great. Camera controls kinda bad, framerate seems to be chugging, there's weird annoying lag when you interact with an item or npc. In fairness I'm playing the Switch version* so maybe the performance is a bit better on PC? Anyway the game just came out so I'm sure they'll smooth things out with a patch sooner or later. Overall it's nothing game-breaking, but it's worth mentioning

When I looked up this game the first thing I saw was that it got a 6 out of 10 from IGN. And you know what, that's fair. It's a cheap licensed game that does what it says on the can, but that's it. I can't recommend it to anyone who isn't a massive Hellboy fan, but if you're like me and will put up with some jank in exchange for getting to play as Hellboy and punch a bunch of stuff? You could do worse. Maybe wait for a sale though.

I'm still holding out hope for a truly great Hellboy game, but I will settle for this for now. I love that guy. I'm stupid that way

[veebs-hates-video-games]

And now for quick notes on games I've played on Steam since June and didn't finish but left in the "maybe I'll get back to this some day" category, part 1 of 2:

Assault Android Cactus: Pretty decent twin stick shooter that I was initially having fun with, but a couple bosses in I got real tired of getting one-shot by stuff that was off screen until too late to do anything about it during boss fights. Surprisingly by the same people who recently made Unpacking

Zasa: An AI Story: Kind of neat idea for a puzzle game, but I kind of forgot I was playing it for a month and lost interest

Achromatic: Minimalist puzzle game that seems fine, but the larger the puzzles get the more I have the same problem I do with Match 3 games where stuff just stops registering in my brain and I have to look at every little thing individually and it's not fun anymore

Incredipede: I like the premise and the general vibe, but I just wasn't into actually playing it enough to finish it. It has the best achievements ever though, which are all things like "go outside and play with a real bug, then come back here and press this button to give yourself the achievement"

Ziggurat: Roguelike FPS that I like the idea of but was very bad at and couldn't get into

Mad Max: Seems like a fine-ish open world game if you have nothing better to do with your time, but nothing about it stands out in any way. I could go play a good game instead of just one that's vaguely ok

Mighty No. 9: I can't tell if it's better or worse than the internet led me to believe, but I can tell it's not good enough to be worth playing over going back and replaying literally any old Mega Man game instead

The First Tree: I had to stop like five minutes in because it was clearly trying to get me to take it seriously but the animations were so hilariously janky that I couldn't

Induction: Minimalist puzzle game that I just wasn't really feeling the central mechanics of

God Eater Resurrection: Might come back to again at some point even if I'm not really sure I'll like it. The main problem was that I was having major issues running it through Proton on Linux (which rarely happens to me anymore these days, which is pretty neat itself), but that'll probably get fixed sooner or later

Tekken 7: Of all the fighting games I tried this year this was the one I got along the best with [this is a lie because I wrote it before playing BBTAG], which is weird because I've never played much Tekken in the past. It felt the most satisfying to play and I had the most success actually learning how to play a character that actually clicked with me (Lucky Chloe is just fun), but I just kinda don't really like a lot of the character designs and the story and all that stuff when it comes to Tekken and always have, which killed my motivation

Guilty Gear Xrd -SIGN-: I really wanted to like this more than I did because it looks great and is generally ridiculous, but the overall feel of the game just wasn't really clicking with me

Art of Gravity: Another puzzle game that's vaguely interesting but didn't really grab me enough to finish

Say No! More: Comedy game about setting boundaries, which I really want to like more than I do, but the humor and tone just weren't really doing much for me and I stopped like halfway through even though it's short

[palant1r]

so we played turnabout countdown, here are my first impressions of aa5

PROS

-I really like Athena! she's got such a big personality, and we're starting to get hints of her backstory and character arc right off the bat. I think she's a great new addition to the games! i love her design, too

-I LOVE the mood matrix. it's probably my favorite cross-examination mechanic so far. it's not confusing to use, but it also requires the player to think about how to use it more than just staring at a sprite or finding the right evidence. And the little animation/sprites that play during it are so cool!

-it's a pretty creative first case. I like how it operates effectively as a tutorial, but allows you to skip some of the tutorial aspects, and also obviously ties into the larger story, both dropping breadcrumbs for the future and making us wonder what trial was in progress when the courtroom was bombed

-APOLLO MY GOOD FRIEND APOLLO. i know sorta what happened to him but im STILL intrigued! apollo didn't get much development/secrets in his own game, so i'm excited to see them let him be a Man of Mystery. all aboard the apollo angst train!

-the new sprites are really good! everyone's super animated, and their sprites feel so full of motion and personality. especially athenas. her sprites are SO good

-also this is the first time we get to see apollo's front facing sprites, and i really like them. especially the crossed-arm one. yeah, i've seen that one before. it's really cool to see that callback to aa4 in such a sinister way, showing how kristoph, his first mentor, still influences him

-the new fully animated and voiced cutscenes beat ass

CONS

-yo the 3d lowkey sucks lmao

-ok maybe thats a bit harsh. the 3d looks fine on characters that were designed for it, like athena, juniper, and the new payne. but apollo and phoenix look really janky and weird

-the scene before the trial felt kinda long and drawn out

-doesnt seem to really have the same sense of humor

-some of the sprites just look Bad. like phoenix's grimace, which was so charming in 2d, makes him look like a night terror. also apollos hair horns are so sickly now. he looks like a praying mantis

-it is SO unrealistic that apollo took a leave of absence and phoenix and trucy were like "aight ok." trucy didnt even say anything. remember when apollo tried to walk away from them and they did a huge bit to get him to stay in aa4? they should have done that again! and that would have been a really good opportunity for character writing, for apollo to stand up to them or snap at them, showing that he and their relationship have changed since aa4!

-i cant remember any of the music, at least not that we heard in the first case. given how pursuit 2001 and the apollo justice Tense theme live in my head rent free, this is unusual

[dreadpoetssociety]

Fevers Don’t Exist

TW: Fever ? (I’m not sure what counts for triggers so pls lmk if I miss anything)

Prompt: hi!! could u do one maybe where like, the reader is an actress on supernatural and she plays like their younger sister on the show or something and she gets sick at a con or something? Thanks !!

NOTE: Hey guys, I’m alive!!!! I know I have a lot of Spencer prompts atm, but it’s really hard to write them when I’m not like, hyper focused on Criminal Minds. I am going to try though! So sorry I’ve left so many of you in the wind, I am a very inconsistent person, my bad. But here’s this! It’s REALLY bad because I’m terrible at being realistic but like idk it’s something.

I really don’t even know what to put for tags on this. 

()()()()()() 

Ah, September. You knew what came along every September, and looked forward to it for the first eight months of every year. Secaucus, New Jersey. You loved every con you went to, truly. Everyone was so nice, you love staying in hotels, panels are such a great time, the whole thing. It's a great experience outside of the set to get connected with fans. And, they loved you almost as much as you loved them. You were typically closer in age, since you were still just a teenager. You also started out as a fan of the show before somehow snatching a role, so you really were with them at one point. Everything that excites them excited you just as much. And, you loved making friends with them. You weren't allowed to be reckless with your phone number, so you made a snapchat that you shared exclusively with con goers, whom you made swear to secrecy. It was like a club, and you just enjoyed genuinely talking to everyone. But, when you woke up that first morning, you knew it was going to be a long day. Your body ached, and you were still pretty exhausted. You had a fever, but didn't really know if it was a fever because you were still young, and God forbid you ever decided to recognize the signs of you being sick. It was almost like a form of denial, not knowing. You were sweating, but freezing, and your throat felt particularly dry. Your headache rested underneath your eyes for the most part, to which you just blamed on being tired. Your stomach didn't hurt, but you definitely weren't hungry. Even though you hadn't felt exactly 100% the past days before, and you obviously weren't feeling right now, you just deduced that it was all because you were tired, and had a late flight in. As a responsible person does, of course. You didn't even bother taking any medicine for it, because hey, you obviously weren't sick, you'd feel better in a bit, and you didn't have any, so why waste the time, right? 

You groggily got dressed and met up with "the boys" (even though they were all older than you) for the free breakfast downstairs, in a separate room, since fans did happen to stay in the same hotel. You grabbed some Cheerios, only to conspicuously throw them away after. 

"You good, Y/N?" Jared asked out loud, gaining the attention of Jensen, Misha, and Alex. You could feel their eyes burning through your skin. Or, maybe that was the fever. It had to be their eyes, you convinced yourself, you didn't have a fever. You were fine. 

"Yeah, why?" you asked, faking the perk in your voice and confused eyes. Your eyes felt really heavy, you noticed. 

"You just... You look exhausted. And pale." he said, "And you threw away that cereal without eating any of it." 

You looked down at yourself as an effect for what you were about to say, "Wow, well that's one way to make me self-conscious. I thought I looked kind of poppin'." you laughed slightly, trying to play it off. 

"W-wait, no that's- that's not what I meant! You look fine, I just-" he was embarrassed. You and the others chuckled.

"I'm kidding. I'm all good, just went to bed late, y'know?" you smiled. It was hard to try and mask the rasp in your voice, and doing so made you feel the need to cough, so you downed some water until it dialed down a bit. He nodded. In your mind, you blessed your acting skills, thinking you got away with it. What you didn't know was that Misha, Jensen, and Jared, as fathers do, knew every trick in the book, and each noted to keep an eye on you. Not to mention, they'd been acting far longer than you had, and could just tell when one switches into a character. They all figured that if you weren't sick now, you would be in days to come, and exchanged glances with each other, while Alex innocently continued to chew on his toast. 

"Well, if you're tired, I don't think you have a panel or anything for another hour or something, maybe you could catch up on some sleep then." Jared suggested. You shrugged.

"Nah," you said, "I've got photo-ops in like, twenty minutes. I should actually probably get going. I'll catch up later!" 

You left with a wave, and disappeared into the hotel somewhere. You stopped in your room, allowing yourself finally to set free the coughs living in the back of your throat. You blamed it on your throat being dry since you didn't drink enough water. Not on germs. So, you grabbed two water bottles from the small fridge in your room, and left, making your way towards the convention center.

  You felt slightly better during photo-ops, which just confirmed in your mind that it was impossible that you were sick right now. You smiled and talked to everyone. There was one girl, who introduced herself as Meredith, who stuck out in your mind. She gave you this super cool hand painted keychain, which you very excitedly put on your keys instantly.

"Dude, I've been looking for a cool keychain. Not just one of those janky ones you find at like 7-11, like a cool one. This is so exciting." you smiled genuinely. You had just recently bought yourself a car, and thought that your keys looked a little lonely, and searched for hours on Etsy for something to spice it up a bit. A weird obsession, thinking about it now.

She laughed, "I'm glad you like it!"

"Hell, yeah! Now, are there any poses you wanna do? Or do you just want to hit that casual look? I could make it look like I'm meeting you." you stupidly rambled. One of your traits that was so widely known was how funny and awkward (in a good way) that you were. It took you a long time to get to that point, though, because you were always anxious about meeting others. You still are every now and then, but it's different here. 

"I was just hoping to get a hug." she said, "If that's okay with you." 

"Yeah, that's cool!" you wrapped your arms around each other and shot the camera a grin. The girl looked a bit confused. 

"Hey," she said, quietly, "are you like, okay? You feel really hot."

Nervously, you replied, "Oh, no, yeah totally fine. I'm just wearing two layers, and it's getting spicy in here."

"Yeah," she answered, "don't push yourself, okay?"

"I won't, thank you. It was really nice meeting you!" 

"You, too! Thanks!" she waved goodbye and you moved on to the last few people in line. She was right, though. You realized that you felt worse than you did when you walked in. You thought it had gone away for a while, but now it was just amplified. You noticed you were cold again, but that you were sweating as well. It must've just been the temperature in the room. These conventions aren't always able to keep a steady temp in the entire building, right?

This day, you didn't have much to do. Most of your events were on the other days to come. You had one panel in a few hours, and then a panel with Jared, Jensen, and Misha a few hours after that, and then bam, the day was over. You just had to get through those two events. Just two. 

Two, events. And both were an hour. So, two hours out of the day. Rookie work. Yet, as your panel approached, the headache had expanded from under your eyes to anywhere that there was space to hurt, your throat ached and so did your lungs from how much you were going off somewhere to cough in privacy, your body felt heavy, you couldn't tell if you were hot or cold at this point it was some weird combination of both, your stomach hurt just slightly, the world was moving around you a bit more than it usually would, and the fever you "didn't" have had climbed a degree, probably two. And, at some point during the day, you got pretty congested. You felt like you could just fall asleep at any moment. Jared and Jensen happened to be walking by where you had been waiting by yourself, away from any congoers or employees, and noticed that even though you were leaning against a wall, you somehow were still swaying.

"Y/N?" Jensen called out, worried. You heard him, you knew you were supposed to respond, but didn't know how. Maybe you did have a fever, and maybe you sort of let it out of control. It was like you were comprehending them, but not at the same time. You heard everything, but it just swept right through your feverish mind. The walked in front of you and examined you within seconds. You felt Jared's cold, really abnormally large man hand sweep your hair back and land on your forehead. 

"J, she's burning up." you felt another hand on your face. You, quite exhaustedly, swatted it away. They couldn't figure out how it'd gotten so bad so quickly. You were sick this morning, but not to this degree. They knew then that you had just shrugged it off all day, and your teenage fever brain probably didn't even think to take any kind of medicine or anything for it, even if you were trying to hide it.

"I'm good. Just tired. Fevers don’t exist." you finally mumbled, taking a few deep breathes, which you hadn't really been able to do in a bit without being rudely interrupted by a bone-shaking cough. It felt nice, almost. The boys sighed at you and shook their heads. 

"Y/N, you should go back to your room and get some rest. We can bring you some stuff that'll help." Jared suggested. You shook your head and opened your eyes, which somehow felt even heavier.

"Nah," you said to them, "I've got a panel, I think, in like, I ‘dunno, some minutes or something. Something I-" you pushed yourself off the wall to try and make your way somewhere, but stumbled a step or two, which result in Jensen and Jared instinctively to grab you in order to keep you steady.

"Like hell we're letting you go to that, Y/N, you can't even form a sentence, or stand for that matter. You're out of your mind. We're going to bring you back now, we'll take care of your panel thing." Jensen stated pretty sternly. You were about to fight back, and they could see it, but you coughed a few times, and they could almost feel it in their own chests. You just nodded in defeat.

"Yeah, maybe I could just like, sleep, for an hour or two." you whispered, tiredly. The two were still holding you steady, and could see you already falling asleep before even going anywhere. 

"Or six, by the looks of it." Jared joked lightly.

"Poor kid." Jensen said to Jared as the were walking out of your room. They helped you get there, and you were gone before you even saw the bed, "Why do they always have to pretend like they aren't sick? Look where it gets them."

"Don't know, man. You can't talk, though. You literally tell people you are immune to illness." Jared laughed quietly, shutting you door.

"Well I am. I am the perfect example of health. I don't get sick." 

"Yeah," Jared rolled his eyes, "Right. Watch you catch what Y/N has. You practically carried her all the way here. There's no way you're escaping it." Walking towards the center, the back way of course, Jensen scoffed, "Please, germs take one look at me and know not to mess this up. And, by the logic, that means you're already infected, too. So, tell me, princess, what sort of soup do you want spoon-fed?" 

Again, Jared rolled his eyes, and the two laughed. They weren't making fun of you, they were making fun of each other, and knew that you would've wanted in on that action.

"Y/N probably would've destroyed us if she heard that. Something along the longs of 'You want me to tuck you in? Carry you bridal style?'" Jared pitched his voice a tone higher for it. Again, the two men laughed.

They made their way backstage of what's supposed yo be your panel, and informed the crew about what was going on. They were just going to fill in for you, probably tell a few embarrassing stories.

When they made their way through the curtain, the crowd shouted. They were obviously excited to see the two leads, but also were obviously confused. "Alright, you're probably confused." Jensen stated the obvious, "Because obviously, we look nothing like Y/N, and thank God she does not look like us." The crowd laughed.

"Anyway, Y/N can't make it today. She's really sick-" the crowd cut Jared off with a unison "awe." People yelled out that they hoped she felt better, tell her to take care of herself, and so on.

"Yeah, poor kid looked like she was just going to fall asleep right where she was standing. She literally tried to come anyway, like, kid, you're making no sense. Y/N couldn't really fight against us, though, so she's sleeping now." Jensen explained, "So we came here to chat in her stead, but just know she really was planning on coming. That kid loves you guys." and again, the "awe" rolled through the crowd. 

"If she wasn't sick, she could totally kick both your-" the last word was cut off, but was implied anyway, someone screamed from the crowd, which resulted in laughter.

"Yeah, probably. Even if we were stronger than her," sarcastically, of course, "she'd still beat us. Kid's too fast, and I'm too old." Jared laughed.

In the last ten minutes of the panel, Jared decided to give you call. Not only to check in on you, but so you could at least say hi to your crowd. When you heard the phone ring, you groggily opened your eyes and aimlessly reached for it.

"Hello?" you answered. Jared almost frowned at how sick you sounded, even with just one word.

"Y/N?" Jensen stepped in, "It's Jensen."

"Unfortunate." you sighed exhaustedly. It was joke, a really tired one, but still enough to make the crowd laugh.

"We're here at your panel, we thought you might want to say hi." Jared said loudly, holding the speaker of his phone to the microphone. 

"Panel?" you asked. Panel? What panel? Your delirious mind was clearly confused, "Who's that?" 

"Y/N, the con. The convention panel?" Jensen actually sounded worried. They probably should've thought to give you some sort of medicine to do something about the fever you had before they'd left.

"Oh," you closed your eyes again, almost falling asleep, before remembering finally what it was they meant, and after a moment, "Oh! Crap, the panel thing, I'm late."

"No, Y/N, stay there, we've got it covered remember? You can't come. You can say hi to them, though." Jensen interjected quickly.

"Okay, hi guys." you just followed as told.

The crowd responded with a series of hello's. 

"'M really sorry. I hope they aren't boring you." the two men could practically hear you closing your eyes. The crowd responded in inaudible chatter. Jensen and Jared walked from the mic for a second.

"Sorry if we woke you, kid." Jared apologized, having just realized they probably could've left you alone, "W also just wanted to check in. See how you're doing."

"How are you feeling?" Jensen asked, but got a mumbled word in response, "Alright, well, just go back to sleep, we'll be up there soon." 

Jared hung up the phone, and the two began to answer the last few questions and close up. They waved their goodbyes to the crowd, and started heading back your way.

"Jensen, you got any over the counters with you? Thermometers or anything? All I've got is Advil, and I don't even know what's really bothering her yet other than that cough and being tired."

"Yup. Danneel always makes me carry literally an entire medicine cabinet, just for these moments. I'll go get 'em and meet you there. It'd probably do her some good to eat something, too. I don't know if she's got like, a stomach virus thing going on, though." Jensen answered.

"I'll see what she'll say and let you know." 

The two parted ways, and Jared made his way to you. Even though he'd only talked to you just a few minutes before, you were dead to the world by the time he opened the door. The room was boiling, and Jared looked over to the thermostat to see that you'd at some point put it on to 90 degrees. 

"Jesus, Y/N, I know you've got a fever, but damn." he said, more so to himself than to you. He looked over at you after turning it down to see you curled beneath what looked like any blanket you could find. He came over and started removing the blankets slowly, and shook you gently to wake you up.

"Y/N, wake up for a minute, it's Jared."

"'Mm." was all you said, until you realized your layers of warmth had been moved, "What're doing? It's cold."

"Y/N, you're dripping in sweat. It's the fever making you cold."

"I don't have a fever." you retorted, "I'm good. Just tired."

"Kid, you've been tired the whole day. You've been sleeping this whole time." he tried rationalizing.

"I have?" you questioned, closing you eyes again. Jared put his hand to your forehead again. Somehow, it was warmer than the first time he'd done it before the panel. It was then that Jensen finally appeared, a whole bag of things in hand, "Could you bring the thermometer over?"

"Yeah, gotcha." He walked over and rummaged through the bag at the same time, pulling out a thermometer.

"Y/N, we need to take your temperature." Jensen said.

"No need." you said, "'M not sick."

"You are so obviously sick, I'm not asking." again with that stern voice. Jared gave him a "Hey, she's sick, back off a little" sort of look, but it had worked, and you let them take your temp. They were almost shocked when the thing beeped at 103.

"Should we take her to a hospital? That's way too high." Jared asked. 

"If it gets any higher, yes, but let's see if we can bring it down first." Jensen replied.

"No hospitals." you demanded, opening your eyes and glaring at them. 

"We aren't bringing you yet, Y/N, but I need you to eat this so you can take some meds." he held out two pieces of toast that he must've brought from his room. You hated toast even when you weren't sick.

"I'm not really hungry." 

"I know, but it'll help. You haven't told us what's bothering you yet, either." Jared responded.

"Nothing's-" you coughed a few times, a bit violently, "bothering me." "We can see that." Jensen said sarcastically.

"Everything's bothering me." you whispered, giving up.

"Your stomach hurt?" Jensen asked. You waved your hand from side to side to signal a so-so, "Think you'll get sick at all?"

"No, it's not like that, I don't think." you breathed out, another cough escaping you. You took a few bites out of the toast. It made you uncomfortable, but it was then that you realized you probably felt that way since you really hadn't eaten much that day or the one before, which probably contributed to the splitting headache. It didn't go away after, either though. You pushed yourself up. You almost fell over, but Jared put a hand out for you.

"Alright, good. Take this. I'm going to be frank, it tastes disgusting." Jensen handed over a small cup of liquid, "Sometimes, if you take it like a shot, it helps. But you shouldn't know how to take shots, but if you do it, I won't judge." And so you did, causing the two to chuckle slightly at you. 

"You were right, about the sleep thing." you slumped back onto the bed heavily, like a brick.

"When am I ever wrong?" Jensen asked, "Don't answer that, actually."

But you were already sleeping again, and the boys decided to stay nearby for now. The next panel wasn't for another few hours anyway, and they just didn't want you to be alone. Also, incase you were wrong about the toast, and it decided to make its return. Jared's phone began to ring loudly, to which he very quickly tried to answer so his obnoxious ringtone wouldn't wake you up again, not that you wouldn't have just fallen back asleep anyway.

"Misha? Hey, what's up?" Jared answered. Jensen walked over to hear what was going on on the other side of the line, but Jared just decided to put it on speaker.

"Where are you guys? I haven't seen you all day. Felicia, Alex, and I are going out for lunch, we were wondering if you guys want to come. I tried calling Y/N, but she didn't answer, so." he rambled.

"That's because Y/N's not feeling well." Jensen said, giving him a solution to his predicament of not being answered, "We're with her right now, so we'll have to pass."

"She's sick? Is she okay?" 

"Yeah, I think so. She's just got this crazy fever we've been trying to bring down. Thinking about it now, Jensen, we should probably check it again." 

"A fever?"

"It's been at 103 degrees for like, two hours. At least for what we know of. She's probably had one all day, but as a dumb teenager does, she just tried to ignore it." 

"If it goes up you should-"

"Yeah, we know," Jared said, "we're trying really hard to avoid that, though. Also, she'll definitely fight against it, I don't know." 

Jensen, from the other side of the room at the sound of a beeping thermometer, could be heard on Misha's end, "It went down, finally. 102.2."

"Thank God, I was getting worried."

"Should I come there? Do you guys need any help?" Misha asked.

"I mean you can, but I think we're good. She's just been trying to sleep it off the whole time, so not much is really going on." Jensen was closer to the phone now, "Like, she's got this cough, a headache, and you can hear how congested she sounds, but mostly I think she's just exhausted. I honestly don't know how because she's just been sleeping for hours."

"Fatigue."

"Yeah, poor kid. I don't think I've ever seen her so tired, it almost makes me tired to be honest." Jensen joked.

"Maybe you're just getting sick." Jared slipped in.

"Not possible. I am immune."

"Nobody is immune, Jensen." Misha sighed.

"I'm not nobody." he shrugged. 

"Alright, well, we're going to get lunch then. If you need anything let me know, and tell her I hope she feels better." Misha concludes.

"We will, thanks Misha." and with that, Jared hung up. For a few more hours, the two hung around. They were there when you woke from some fever dreams, and when you needed a cough drop, or twelve, and wake you up every now and then to check your temperature, which raised and dropped and raised and dropped, but currently was at a very steady 102.4. But, soon enough, it was time for them to leave for the last panel of the day, and unsurprisingly, you tried to follow suit.

"Y/N, we gotta go, but we'll be back in about an hour from the panel." Jared said. You took a deep breath and sluggishly pushed yourself to the side of the bed. Having been sick, and not having sat up in a few hours, the blood rushed from your head, leaving you dizzy.

"What're you doing?" Jensen asked.

"The panel. I missed the last one I should go to this one. I feel okay." you yawned, then coughed slightly.

"Y/N, really, you shouldn't even think about pushing it like that." Jared said. Jensen walked over to you, half on the bed, clearly trying to steady yourself just from the movement of sitting up. The spinning room honestly almost made the toast make a reprise, and you hiccupped, and held your breath.

"Hey," Jensen grabbed a can quickly, noticing, "are you going to be sick?"

Giving it a minute, it went away, and you shook you head no, causing a huge tension to leave the room.

"Alright, well, remember how you said I was right all the time earlier?" Jensen pun the can down.

"No, must've been the fever." you half joked, causing Jared to laugh. 

"Alright- well- okay, shut up. We agreed I'm always right, and that I was right about needing sleep, so I say you need some more." Jensen demanded rather than suggested. 

"Yeah, or at least lay around and do nothing. I can't imagine ever sleeping as much as you just did." Jared joked, pushing you very gently back down, with his hand on your back, knowing you would just hit the bed without it. Your eyes were heavy again, and your throat was painfully dry, and you coughed. Your aching head also agreed with the two of them to your dismay.

"Maybe just a bit more." you mumbled, "A few minutes."

"Yeah a few minutes, sure." Jared smiled, knowing you were probably going to knock out for a few hours once again. You opened your eyes again.

"You think," you coughed, "that they'll be mad?

"Who?" Jensen asked.

Feeling pretty sick, you said, "That I don't go? I don’t feel really good."

Ah, the fever comes to play once again, it seems, but the two felt some sort of triumph now that you've at least admitted to being sick, even if it's been hours. It concerned them, though, if you felt bad enough to admit it.

"No, they'll be fine about it. We'll be back soon. Misha or Alex might come in to check on you, alright?" Jared answered, to which you nodded.

They weren't gone long. You spent half the next day sleeping, too, until you could stand without swaying. You did sneak back to the con, against Jensen and Jared's orders, since you really didn't break that fever and cough for a few more days, only to be caught after a tweet of you at the con was trending and the cast caught wind of it. But, eventually, you were better, and got the chance to help Jared take care of an "always immune" Jensen. And he was more stubborn than you were.

[missjanjie]

Better Than Revenge | Chapter 3

Title: Better Than Revenge Summary: Karma Inc.’s business structure is simple - clients hire them when they’ve been grievously wronged and they send one of their revenge mercenaries to right them. As painstaking as their efforts to remain ethical may be, that may be tested when former detective, Rosé, enlists the squad to pick up where she couldn’t on a much higher scale, with potentially greater consequences. Word Count: ~2.7k (this chapter) | ~8k (total) Relationship(s): Rosnali (Rosé/Denali Foxx), Jankie (Jackie Cox/Jan Sport), Halldoll (Nicky Doll/Jaida Essence Hall), Gimone (Gigi Goode/Symone), Gottlux (Gottmik/Olivia Lux) Rating: T

Read on AO3 | Ko-Fi

Chapter Summary: Rosé learns Gigi, Symone, and Denali's revenge origin stories

-

Woodstock, IL — 2016

Gigi took a deep breath as she stared at herself in the mirror. She could do this, it was fine. Every time her suspicions or confusion would bubble up, she forced them back down. Hannah was nice, she was different from the other popular girls. She didn’t see the ‘weird art lesbian’ with the braces and thick-rimmed glasses, who rarely got pop culture references post-1989, at least, that’s how she made her feel.

“I’ll text you in the morning,” she assured her mother as she threw her bag over her shoulder. “It’ll be fine, I’m just hanging out with a friend.” She was out to her mom, of course, that was her biggest ally. But she wasn’t ready to tell her that the head cheerleader had taken an interest in her. Maybe when and if they became official. Until then, she shook off the last of her nerves and drove to her house, only pulled from her thoughts by the time she was sitting on Hannah’s bed.

“I’ve been thinking about you all day,” Hannah cooed, batting her lashes and resting her hand on Gigi’s thigh.

If Gigi hadn’t been so blinded by her crush, she might’ve thought Hannah was laying it on a little thick, but she couldn’t act like she didn’t enjoy the attention. “Me too, a-about you, I mean. Sorry, I’m just nervous…”

“How come? I didn’t come on too strong over text, did I?”

“No, no I liked it, it’s just… I’m a virgin, like, I’ve only ever kissed before,” she confessed, her cheeks flushing rosy pink. She had talked a big game over text, but being faced with the chance of starting a physical relationship brought her back to reality.

Hannah pouted, rubbing Gigi’s thigh as she thought, letting her hand inch higher. “Well, you’ve got fantasies, don’t you? I know you’ve masturbated before. What do you think about while you touch yourself?”

Gigi hesitated, chewing on her bottom lip. The other girl wasn’t wrong, she did know what she liked, could conjure up vivid imagery to get herself aroused, but she had never said any of it out loud. “I like powerful, confident women. I guess that’s something that drew me to you,” she started, “I wanna just… give up control, be dominated.”

“Really? Tell me more,” Hannah prompted, kissing along her neck and jaw and slowly tugging Gigi’s shirt off in an attempt to coax her to continue.

When Hannah didn’t seem deterred by her confession, Gigi started to relax. “It’s just, I don’t know, I always feel the need to be in control of my life and with sex, I just wanna let go and give up that power.”

“So like, what would you want someone to do to you?” she asked, a smirk tugging at the corners of her lips.

She bit down on her lip. “Um… tie me up, spank me, choke me, and I know it’s kind of intense but maybe something like cnc or—” the incessant buzzing of her phone distracted her and, concerned it might be an urgent call or text from home, she took her phone out. “Sorry, one sec.”

It wasn’t from home, she had two missed calls from her best friend, Crystal, followed by several texts.

Crystal: GIGI STOP Crystal: SHUT UP! SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! Crystal: She’s broadcasting you on IG live! Crystal: We can see and hear everything…

Gigi’s face fell, her first instinct to pull her shirt back on. Then she slowly looked up and in front of her, that’s when she saw it, nestled between stuffed animals — Hannah’s phone with an instagram live going. She didn’t say anything, just ran out of the house as fast as her legs would take her and through her tears drove right to Crystal’s house. That was when the two of them formed their plot.

In and of itself, it was simple. Gigi waited one day until Hannah was away for a cheer competition and went to her house. “I’m so sorry to bother you, Mrs. Andrews, but I think I left some of my homework in Hannah’s room, she just said to let you know so I can run in and grab it.” Once inside, she found exactly what she was looking for, sliding Hannah’s diary into her backpack and went right back out.

“This feels very Mean Girls, I love it,” Crystal remarked as they taped page after page of the diary on lockers, walls, anywhere they could.

“Well, plan B was to go the Heathers route, so let’s just hope it works.”

And to say it worked was an understatement. As it turned out, Hannah had written things far more incriminating, and because it came from someone of her social ranking, it made everyone immediately lose interest in Gigi’s livestream scandal, and she graduated with the anonymity she needed for survival.

Present Day

“I’ll be honest with you,” Rosé remarked, “it’s kinda hard to picture you as an ugly duckling, especially the way you described it.” Gigi was too pretty, too perfect. Something didn’t add up.

Gigi got out her phone and scrolled through her photos until she found one from her senior year. “Believe it, doll,” she said as she held her phone up. She watched with an amused expression as Rosé looked from her phone, to her, and back with her eyes wide and mouth agape. “Braces off, lasik, learned a lot about how to dress while going to FIDM, which is where I met Symone, who helped fill in the blanks.”

“And made sure she got to do all them things she listed to that bitch without feeling ashamed about it,” Symone added with a smirk, draping her arm around Gigi and pulling her close, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

“Why don’t you tell her your story next, baby?” Gigi prompted.

Conway, AR — 2014

Symone watched her sister throw her bag over her shoulder and start to sneak out the window. “Look, I ain’t snitching or nothing, but I still don’t think this is a good idea.”

She and her sister, Lala, were close, sometimes referring to themselves as twins – they were only ten months apart, in the same grade at school. And until the summer after sophomore year, they had the same group of friends. But the crowd Lala ran with now just rubbed her the wrong way.

“You worry too much,” Lala brushed it off. “I’ll be fine, in bed by morning like nothing happened.”

But when Symone got a collect call two hours later, she found out things were far from fine. She drove down to the county jail as fast as she could without getting pulled over herself. Luckily bail was a mere fifty dollars, but once she got her sister back in the car, she looked at her incredulously. “What the fuck happened?”

“One of ‘em brought weed, another brought booze, but when the cops rolled up on us, they said it all was mine. And who was they gonna believe, me or three white kids?” Lala sniffled, wiping her eyes. “I don’t know what’s gonna happen to me,” she whispered.

“I don’t either,” Symone admitted quietly, frustrated at her inability to come up with an immediate solution. “But we’re gonna do our best to get you out of this, okay?”

The best they could do wasn’t easy. It involved a lot of legal maneuvering, meetings with one person in a suit after another. The end result wasn’t ideal, but it was far better than what could have been. Lala was fined three hundred dollars and put on thirty days of probation. In and of itself, it didn’t seem so bad, but the residual consequences took their toll.

“I lost my scholarship, ‘mone. That was my ticket into college,” Lala sighed. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I know I’m getting off with a slap on the wrist, but I really ain’t thrilled about taking out student loans,” she sat down on the floor beside the bed, head leaning against it. “Or maybe I’ll start with community college, I dunno. It just fucking sucks that they all got off with warnings.”

Symone’s brows knitted together, her lips pressed into a fine line. “Don’t you worry baby,” she said after a moment, “they gon’ face consequences one way or another.”

It had taken most of spring break, but Symone finally had all of the pieces for her plan. “Not the most convoluted thing in the world, but it’ll get the job done,” she mused.

Lala looked at her sister, then at her desk and back. “Do I even wanna know where the hell you got coke from?”

“No, you do not.”

Getting the drugs was the hard part. Getting into school early to plant the drugs in the lockers of Lala’s former friends was far easier, as was leaving an ‘anonymous tip’ from a ‘concerned student’ on the principal’s desk.

“God, I wish I could’ve seen them get hauled off in cop cars,” Lala remarked as she and Symone drove home from school. The three students were quietly escorted out of class and arrested, the school wanting to bring as little attention as possible. “Shame that they rich daddies will still get them off lightly.”

Symone sighed and nodded. “Sure, but they’re still gonna get something, which is more than what they got when they threw you under the bus. Bet they’re gonna think twice before they let someone else take the fall for them.”

Her sister smiled softly and shook her head. “You really ain’t gotta do all that for me, you know?”

“I know,” she hummed, “not gonna stop me, though.”

Present Day

“Wow, that’s both selfless and hardcore,” Rosé remarked with an impressed nod. “Did she ever find out where you got the coke from?”

Symone laughed and shook her head. “Nah, that secret I’m taking to the grave.”

Rosé jokingly put her hands up in surrender. “Okay, okay, fair enough,” she chuckled. After a moment, she turned her attention to Denali. “That just leaves you, princess,” she remarked, a slight smirk tugging at her lips. “What’s your claim to infamy?”

Denali tossed her hair off her shoulder and grinned softly. “Who, me?” she cooed, fluttering her lashes. “Well, it is kind of an interesting story…”

Nicky rolled her eyes and tossed one of the couch pillows at her head. “Stop flirting and get on with it already.”

Fairbanks, AK — 2011

Denali groaned when the sound of loud footsteps racing up the stairs pulled her from her quasi-asleep state, then pulled a pillow over her head when the door swung open.

“What the hell are you still doing in bed when the qualifiers are in two hours?” her friend, Kahmora, asked with incredulous horror. She yanked the covers off of her, but stepped back in concern when she finally caught sight of Denali’s face. “Oh god, you look like shit.”

She frowned and rolled over to face away from her. “I feel like I died and was in the process of being reanimated, then killed again,” she lamented. “It’s probably food poisoning… or maybe swine flu came back, I dunno.”

“Did you eat anything unusual?”

Denali furrowed her brows as she wracked her brain. “I mean, Tara gave me those brownies and I had one, but when she said they were ‘special’, I just thought she meant they had weed in them, but that sure as hell isn’t it.” With as much energy as she could muster, she sat upright. “Oh my god, do you think she poisoned me?”

Kahmora arched her brow. “I think that’s a bit much, even for her. Do I think she put something like a laxative in there so it’d take you out long enough that you couldn’t beat her out in the international qualifiers? Yeah, probably. She’s a cunt.”

The skater scowled, her jaw clenched. “She’s a dead cunt,” she corrected, then suddenly shot out of bed. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” she muttered as she raced to the bathroom yet again.

There wasn’t an obvious revenge plan for Denali. She knew that nothing she did would get her spot in the competition, and she wondered if it was even worth it. But her pettiness and spite won out and she began planning out her course of action.

“Remember,” she was saying, “if all else fails, we go the Tonya Harding route.”

Kahmora sighed. “For the last time, you are not whacking Tara’s kneecaps, now let’s go.” Despite some pouting from Denali, they went to get the gears turning in their plan. They got to the ice rink and slipped into the locker room without being noticed by Tara, who was in the middle of practice.

Denali picked the lock and took out Tara’s change of clothes. Then she reached into her own bag and pulled on latex gloves and a plastic bag containing several leaves of poison ivy. She turned the shirt, pants, and socks inside out and firmly rubbed the leaves against the fabric, making sure she left as little fabric uncovered as possible. “She’s lucky I’m merciful or I’d rub it on her panties too,” she remarked offhandedly.

Kahmora tilted her head as she watched her. “Do you actually think it’ll take her out of the competition?” she asked as her friend put the leaves and gloves into the ziploc bag.

“I don’t know,” she admitted. “I mean, it’s possible, probable really, that the constant itching might make it too difficult for her to skate. But this is more about getting even with her. I might not ever get another chance to compete for internationals. She’s lucky the only retribution she’s getting is a few weeks of itchy blisters.”

“Otherwise you’d Tonya Harding her?”

Denali nodded brightly. “Exactly! Now come on, we have to get rid of the evidence.” And with that, they scurried out of the locker room as inconspicuously as they’d entered it and threw out the evidence in a trash can several blocks over.

When the news broke that Tara had withdrawn from the competition due to ‘unexpected physical problems’, Denali did her best to feign shock and didn’t celebrate until she and Kahmora were alone.

“So, what do you wanna do now?” Kahmora asked.

Denali tilted her head in thought, then smirked. “Let’s go get brownies.”

Present Day

“Personally, I still think you should’ve busted her knees,” Mik mused offhandedly. “Like, I bet you would’ve figured out a way to get away with it, you conniving bitch,” he teased.

Denali shrugged. “Maybe, but it’s not very original and it’d look a lot more suspicious on my end.”

“I think it was pretty badass,” Rosé offered, making the other woman smile which, in turn, made her heart flutter — something she chose to actively ignore. Instead, she let all of their stories sink in. None of their reasons for revenge were out of line, none of their victims undeserving. And none of the consequences were as severe as some of the things she had seen in her time. “You all really know what you’re doing, huh?”

“We wouldn’t have been able to keep this up for three years if we didn’t,” Jan replied. “We had all of the potential on our own, but we make a difference together, and then we added Jackie to tie up the loose ends. It’s been smooth sailing from there.”

“Yeah, and now Jackie ties you up instead,” Nicky teased, earning an eye roll in response.

Rosé watched the group interact with a fond smile. She had assumed they all got along to be working together for as long as they have been, but she hadn’t anticipated them truly behaving like a family. It was a stark contrast to the constant coldness and curtness she had grown accustomed to, both in her previous career and in the environment she grew up in. She only hoped it would make the tasks ahead that much easier for them.

[twinvictim]

your opinions on each of the post team silent games and a rating out of 10. hand 'em over

YEAHHHHHH FINALLY CATERING TO ME!!!

Uh really long post oops. for reference, my rating for the first 4 sh's are as follows

Sh1: 9/10 Sh2: 7/10 Sh3: 9/10 Sh4: 9.5/10

Silent Hill 0/Origins

overall score: 7/10

Alot of the games issues can of course be attributed to it being a psp game, and while i won't excuse everything bc of that, j have to be honest and say I think it had so much potential as a (very) late ps2 game. Not to mention, the game ON THE PSP functions as it should. (The ps2 port does fucking not tho..oops) ans you'll see that this is...a rarity post team silent.

The story has alot of potential, Travis as a character is interesting and sympathetic and j think his dynamic with alessa js super fascinating to dig into, both of them being abused children and there was alot of intrigue regarding his powers, the game feels like a smaller more watered down she, and for that I can't fault it too much. The weapons system isn't my favorite but the combat itself is reminiscent of 1 and 2 and I really like a good chunk of the monster design, there was clearly thought and care put into it, nurses and strughtjackets/lying figures be dammed. The unlockables are pretty cool though and alot of the environments look pretty cool for a psp game, hell i LOVE the theater level its super unique, I would love to see it in (actually functional) better graphics. I also think the puzzles are pretty solid, not hair pulling like sh1 even if they're not quite as clever as say sh3.

My biggest criticisms come from the reuse of sh1 characters (just alessa and Travis would've been fine, maybe dahlia and some more org characters would've been better) the bad ending being straight up bad writing. Not to mention they did the sh3 thing of "kill too many monsters and get the bad ending" which is...stupid. The foreshadowing of the butcher being? He's just kinda there, I like the lead up but it would be more interesting if the butcher represented something from those years between Travis' father dying and him being an adult. And while there's more replayability imo than sh2, it doesn't have difficulty sliders and that makes it kinda hard to come back to quite as often. Not to mention unlike sh1, 3or sh4 there's not as much horror focus and random events.

Overall, solid game its fun to play, very silent Hill and if you're willing to look past a few continuity errors and accept its a little different and slightly derrivitive at the same time, I like to say I had alot of fun with it and still do. (Maybe I just like Travis alot...idk)

Silent Hill: Homecoming

Overall score: 6/10

Once again most of the issues here are gonna be corporate fuck ups, but I'm also not gonna beat around the bush, this game isn't like...good. its bad actually. "But you gave it a 6/10?" Yeah bc its not NEARLY as bad as some other games I've.. experienced.

The negatives here are, many and vast, so let's run them down. Firstly the games performance is janky on console (ps3 at least) and abysmal/unplayable on PC, what with framerate issues that are detrimental to game play on pc and make the third boss impossible. That said on console it is completable and not even too terrible...usually. Scarletts boss fight however is terribly unbalanced and broken on all skews so :/. The combat is...functional but not anyone's favorite, it's difficult to use any actually strong weapon and you can pretty much strong arm ur ways through shit with just the knife (except scarletts first form..don't try it, it won't work) for some people this will be borening (not my opinion but w/e). Most of The puzzles...leave alot to be desired. I hate sliding block puzzles. Also no run button? At all?? No easy mode? Ok... also what is this.. wheel design for the inventory...im accidentally using my serum..what is serum also? And why is the item pickup noise like...bass boosted.

The character models look awful most of the time, and comically unfinished other times, some human models are just grotesque, (judge halloway, Adam shepherd, mayor Bartlett. .you get it) and yes...there are sexy nurses. Bc of course there are. (Whole ass out???) They did straight up have some terrible endings for this game (ph ending for one, the way you get the ufo? Hell the ufo ending is kinda boring. I like the in water ending here too but. Yeah.) the story has some, problems. To say the least.

However, while the performance is bad its not the worst I've played (on the ps3 once again..unplayable on pc) and I hardly noticed the framerate when I was just running around, I personally found the combat kinda fun, between trying to dodge accurately and still attack and not use all my health items (bc those and ammo are actually rare! Unlike some games...) it is kind of a challenge and reminds me of a much worse sh4. And hey, the health items both heal an understandable amount of health that i can easily read with a bar (unlike 1-3) and they're not a complete joke (unlike sh4...) i find the exploration really fun and sure the characters look shit but the environments are Fucking great. The church is one of my fav sections, short as jt might be and yes it stole the confessional scene but its pretty well written and acted I think. The monster design is pretty fucking rad too honestly, I like the schism, siam, I like the DESIGN of the needlers even if they make me so mad to fight, and hey the nurses and ph don't show up that much to be too aggregious. The boss monsters are also fantastic design wise, very unsettling and the boss rooms are interesting as well.

The story has problems but it also has alot of potential, the concept of people sacrificing ther children for silent Hill and being overcome by their own pain and guilt is pretty fucking cool, and alex is a good character they did a good job of giving him personality, ppl bitch about him being a soldier but a) he's not and b) soldiers are people too, and a sh game that could tackle toxic masculinity, be critical of the military, and also tackle abusive religeious parents is pretty intriguing, not to mentions themes of brotherly love that's complicated bc of how they clearly favored Josh . Sure, it misses the mark, but I like taking the potential and thinking about it bc its compelling to me. And like I said, i like alex alot.

Overall, bad game yes, but not the worst as it has enough good for me to honestly really enjoy it, besides it is pretty funny when it is bad. Don't play the pc port tho

Silent Hill Shattered Memories

Overall Score: 8/10

Unpopular opinion im sure but honestly? I find this game ALMOST on par with the team silent games. Its really that good, yes its a wii game, so this is my score taking into account the motion controls BTW.

For the good, man where do i start. Its BEAUTIFUL for a wii game and esp for a post team silent game, the graphics are nice and Constsitent, the environments are pretty and it has a pretty nice cold color pallet to contrast the warmer tones the series tends to skew towards. The acting and intrgrige are all on point and the WRITING is fantastic, its one of those games you play the first time not knowing the twist and play the second time picking up more and more clues and things that strengthen that twist so much more. Like sh2 its a simple story told in such a clever and interesting way that you'll probably be too invested to put it down, I beat it in one sitting in 6 hours bc i was so engrossed in the narrative. And the Puzzles man! The puzzles are phenomenal and fun to accomplish and there's even a little bit of variety in a few places on repeat playthroughs. The level of detail in this game is insane really, the things that change with the different psychology answers are pretty cool too and tho it all plays out relatively the same its still fun to see the different things you can get to happen. The gimmicks like the phone as an object, taking pictures, sneaking and zooming in, they're not too intrusive as to take away from the exploration or other game play but not completely useless and have some pretty fun Easter eggs too. The game plays sort of like a worse outlast with good puzzles and for that I do have to commend it. Oh and the fucking MUSIC is INCREDIBLE idk something ab this soundtrack has alot of heart put into it clearly.

Now, it's not perfect. The thing is, it is a WORSE outlast type game, in the running and hiding sense but well, the hiding is completely useless, its a run away game, which is ok, but I understand that people aren't gonna be a big fan of that when silent Hill has always balanced combat ad puzzles and exploration. The running segments are..aggravating, mostly bc its hard to figure out where to go, not to mention using motion controls that don't like to work half the time to fight the monsters off of you. Also, the monsters are not scarey in the slightest and the raw shock scream is actually enragaging if you've died one to many times, there's also...not really any penalty for dying. And once you're out for these running segments,there's no danger, no monsters, nothing to hide from despite having a hiding mechanic. Its not really a horror game more of a psycological thriller and I understand that the fact that its not horror can be disappointing. The psychology things might be a bit overhyped And yeah fine, the wii foreplay scene...well yeah its weird but it IS also funny as fuck.

That said, there's still alot thats good and alot thas unfair criticism lobbed at this game. Harry didn't have much of a personality in sh1 bc he's a ps1 character and sm really fleshed him out well, not to mention giving cybil some nice characterization, and they did some interesting things with dahlia and kaufmann. And Lisa.. well I'm gonna be honest I never found Lisa all that interesting in sh1..so it doesn't bother me that she's the way she is in this game. I know people hate the "horny" aspect of it but to be completely fair, YOU choose to make the game that way, don't answer in a sexual manner or look at boobs or anything else and you won't have an overly sexual game, its...literally that easy. Its given as an option for the play id they want to go for what is arguably another joke ending. (You cannot tell me sleeze and sirens is meant to be a real serious ending to the game. Cmon) and you can complain about the innacuuracies if you want but its a spin off, a retelling of the original game. Its not canon, and it didn't change the original game. It just took the ideas presented there and made them more human and lest fantastical, there's some supernatural elements but it takes a backseat to the human moments. And its honestly really cool.

Overall, great game, i reccomend it if you don't mind some slight jank with the motion controls and honestly? Look up directions on where to go for the running segments and you'll have a pretty good time overall.

Silent Hill Downpour

Overall score (so far): 7.5/10 *to be noted i haven't finished actually playing it yet but I know the basic plot and some of the details so I doubt it'll change

And so for the final silent Hill Game, I have to say, i don't think it deserves NEARLY the hatred it gets, there's alot about it that i find really cool and even fun and I think its a solid entry, a little better than origins in some parts and its downsides are both unfortunate and once again, mostly Konami's fault . That said, I'm also not gonna kid and say its a good game, just that I like it alot and we should be nicer to the last silent Hill game were probably ever gonna get.

Downpour has a pretty good, original story overall, there's alot to it, alot of intricacies and intrigue to it that honestly make it a pretty sold silent Hill game. Its different enough from the others to stand out but not super far removed from its themes and messages. I like that it doesn't try and lean into the cult aspect and tries to do something else with it, it doesn't try to explain silent Hill, but just use it to torment the characters, as it should be. There's tragedy ad human feelings here and some of them aren't the most...sensitive but they are pretty reasonable reactions id say. Playing as someone who's odds are stacked against him from the beginning as he's a prisoner is a cool way to open the game, someone convicted and you must discover if he is a good person or not. Themes of revenge explored more than in sh3 which is pretty cool. The environments look pretty nice, and i like the look of the otherworld, once again being unique with its cooler color pallet, but without the ice so it really feels like its own thing. The EXPLORATION is awesome with an actual open world which I think works well, there's alot to do in town (unlike sh1 and 0 on limiting hardware and 2 which just pretends you can explore to town but you cant) there's alot for cool little stories and sidequests to do, my favorite so far being the cinema (which has a section of ACTUAL fixed cameras like old Resident evils which is smth SH has never done and its super fucking cool!) And all the sidequess help strengthen murphy as a cheacter and argue for his innocence or complexites. The weapons system is pretty cool, picking up items and attacking with whatever you might find, finding cool Easter eggs with exploration and having fun noticing things. And it does honestly have the strongest side characters outside of SM. The puzzles are pretty solid and fun to figure out with some cool mechanics and the seperate difficulties is a great thing to bring back (actually done well like sh3) I also kind of like the method of triggering the night world/rain/monsters, and silent Hill really feels likes its constantly punishing Murphy, as it should. The music might not be Akira but its still pretty damn good, and fuck yall I like the Korn song, and you CAN press start and skip it yknow. (Thx tomm hewlit)

The negtitives tho, well they are there. For one it has the worst performance of any sh game outside of pc homecoming and like...the hd collection, the framerate like to shit itself alot lmao, its not usually detrimental bc I've played re2r with similar framerates but, yeah its not great. Not to mention while the models look better than hc they don't animate well or often at all, and the game has trouble loading in the models as fast as they should. The sound mixing could use...some work too, poor murph sounds like he's eating the mic. While I find the games exploration really fun, murphy also has the issue of not running very fast so it can be a little annoying to get back to a place you want to be when you can't run that fast, not to mention the loading times. The monster design is def the worst in the series, maybe on par w SM. Which is disappointing bc there's some pretty good moments here and there, but not nearly enough to make it scary and there's so much you can do with monsters with this premise. Also, the running sections in the otherworld are better than SM ad even more engaging than the brief ones in 2 and 3, but still, I'd prefer to do puzzles or fight a boss or smth. I will also say, the endings are, iffy while the main 2 endings are really good and Anne's bad ending as well as the joke ending are great, murphys bad endings are weird and ooc for the muphy you come to know in the game (even more so than Origins) plus, idk that the writers knew all that much about prison andbprison culture, nobody in a real prison would be mad ab Murphy killing a pedo (there's some racist implications here and there too which is. Unfortunate and disappointing. I like Howard and Robbie but they are a bit tropey, esp Howard) that said Anne is a compelling albeit unlikable character and thas pretty cool to see pulled off.

Overall, while it has downsides, I don't think Downpour is worthy of all the scorn it gets, this can have problems and you can point them out without disregarding the good parts and while it is unfortunate it doesn't run better and have some extras and didn't handle some things great, I still think its worth a playthrough, esp if you go out of your way to do the sidequests.

Bonus round

Book of memories is not a game I intend to play bc I don't wanna get a vita and can't imagine I'm missing much. It doesn't look bad pwr say but I'm not interested tbh

Fuck PT. :)

[artificialqueens]

Not Like In The Fairy Tales (But Just As Beautiful) (Crygi/Jankie) - Chaoticnachokitten

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27419959

A/N: Heyy:)) I wrote this a few months ago and completely forgot to post it lol. Thanks to @cryshillz for giving me the idea for it and @aqtanawrites for beta-ing<3

Summary: Crystal is just your average high school student, (well, maybe except her makeup and outfit choices), friendly, dreamy and fairly popular. All she wants are her friends, One Direction songs, and maybe a fairy tale esque relationship. Everything would be perfect if it wasn't for that one girl that keeps staring at her with an expression that could kill...

Literally just your typical enemies to lovers high school au:)

It was 6am on a rainy Monday morning. Crystal woke up to the sweet tunes of 'What Makes You Beautiful' by One Direction. She had the habit of using a different One Direction song as her alarm clock every day.

Especially on Mondays she just needed a bit of extra motivation to get up and get ready for school, and that particular song never failed to make her smile, including today.

She slowly got out of bed, and walked up to her closet. It was a beautiful mess of almost offensively bright, colorful clothes. Crystal firmly believed that wearing as many colors as possible was helpful to stay positive all the time. 'Plain' or 'simple' clothing was something she liked to pretend didn't even exist.

Once she was done with picking out her outfit for the day, she went into her bathroom, preparing for her favorite part of her morning routine: her makeup. Firstly, she washed her face, and then applied some products that would hopefully protect her skin from what she was about to do to it. Then, she tried to find all of her needed makeup products. Unfortunately, she had a habit of trying out new looks constantly, and for some reason her products ended up being scattered in the entire bathroom. Her parents had given up on trying to keep the bathroom organized at this point.

After finding everything she needed, which were approximately 50 products, including tons of her beloved glitter, she started with her time consuming but fun painting, blasting her OD playlist to stay in a good mood. Her thoughts drifted around for a bit, eventually settling on the memories of how her high school had tried to get her to dress 'appropriately' and to stop her 'clown like' makeup. At first the teachers had assumed that she would get teased because of her looks, but they had been very wrong. Crystal had such a fun and loveable personality that no one really said anything negative about her, in fact, the only people who teased her about her makeup were her best friends, who obviously didn't mean it. Crystal was friends with just about everyone, except one person.

Crystal quickly tried to think of something else, she didn't want to ruin her morning by thinking about the only person she didn't like.

So, after the teachers had realized that no other student would tell her to stop with her makeup, they tried to threaten her by sending her to the principal's office multiple times. But, since she kept arguing about how she needed to express herself, and because her grades were good, the teachers gave up and her style was tolerated eventually. At least her art teacher loved her creativity.

Crystal checked herself out in the mirror one last time. Her long, curly hair was brushed nicely, it looked all shiny and soft like usual, she was wearing a full face of makeup, around three times the amount of what an average student would wear, and her outfit complemented her makeup nicely. Afterwards she went on her way to her high school, which happened to be just a few minutes away from her home. As always, she had her earphones in so she could continue to listen to her playlist, which she had named 'positive vibes'.

Before entering the big, old, dull building, she removed her earphones as electronic devices were strictly forbidden and had to be stored in the school bags, otherwise a teacher had the right to take them away. It was a stupid and annoying rule, but other than about her personal style, Crystal didn't like getting in trouble, so she just accepted it.

Crystal's morning had been pretty good so far, but of course, the first person she saw in the hallway was the one she didn't like. Her name was Gigi Goode, and, Crystal usually didn't like to swear, the only word that could be used to describe her was a complete bitch. Now, sadly, Gigi was gorgeous, everyone was jealous of her looks. Even after a long P.E lesson she still managed to look perfect, not even a single makeup particle out of place. Gigi exclusively wore expensive makeup and clothes, always looking like she was about to be on the cover of Vogue or something. Not only that, but she was smart too, a straight A student, nothing less ever. She regularly engaged in class, the teachers often used her as a good example. But beyond that, Gigi was also the most conceited person Crystal knew. She seemed to lack any kind of empathy or friendliness. The only thing she seemed to care about was herself and her reputation.

She wasn't really friends with anyone, everyone was intimidated by her. She didn't seem to care for friendships anyway. But Gigi just seemed to hate Crystal for no reason. Everytime Crystal was near Gigi she looked at the ground to avoid the look. Gigi liked to glare at Crystal like she was something unsightly, like a stain on her clothes or a disgusting bug or something along those lines. Nothing out of the ordinary, except today, if anything, Gigi looked at her with an even meaner expression than usual.

"Maybe her favorite brand of lipstick got discontinued,"  Crystal thought to herself as she searched for her friends, all she had to do was follow the sound. And sure enough, just a few meters away she spotted Jan and Jackie, who were talking about something. Jan seemed to be even more enthusiastic than usual, and Jackie looked slightly concerned.

"...it's a genius plan, I promise! And very easy to execute. We have to show them that they just belong together."

Jan was nearly screaming the last sentence, loud enough to hear clearly for Crystal who was just waiting for their conversation to end as she didn't want to interrupt them. But then, Jan saw Crystal and monitored for her to come.

"Genius plan? Jan, look, I love you very much, but the last time you said that, and canceled our movie night for it-"

"You're still mad about that?" Jan asked with a hint of amusement.

"Let me finish. Last time you had one of your 'genius ideas' you broke into the school with Nicky to save the frogs we were meant to dissect in biology."

"Well, obviously my plan worked because the frogs are now free, and we didn't have to dissect anything!"

Jackie sighed, fighting the smile caused by the adorableness of her girlfriend, and shook her head fondly.

"And I'm very happy about that. However, you and Nicky got detention for a whole month and only very narrowly avoided legal consequences. And you were grounded forever!"

Jan looked at Jackie with huge eyes.

"But..the frogs..they were worth all of that."

Jackie looked at Crystal who had just been listening to the fairly weird conversation. Though that kind of stuff wasn't uncommon for Jan and Jackie at all.

"Crystal, I'm dating an idiot."

Crystal just laughed and then shyly looked at Jan. The girl looked back at her with mock anger. Then she turned her attention back to Jackie.

"Oh, so I'm the idiot now? I would like to remind you of the time when I was still grounded, and you decided to do it like they do it in the movies and attempted to climb up my house to get into my room through the window, just because you wanted to see me..it's not like you see me at school literally every day."

"It was Saturday. And we spent some..quality time that day."

"That was after I quite literally had to pull you up myself after you almost fell down."

Jackie was about to respond when the bell rang as annoyingly as ever, announcing that the first class was about to start. Jan, Jackie, Crystal and, unfortunately for Crystal, Gigi were all in the same class. Jan attempted to leave, but she was pulled back by Jackie.

"No girl, no skipping classes anymore. You'll just get into trouble again."

"But..." Jan started.

"No buts. You're coming with us. Do you need a bit of..extra motivation?"

Jan smirked, getting the hint, and then nodding excitedly.

Jackie hugged her, and then placed a kiss on Jan's soft lips. A few seconds later they were full on making out.

Around a minute later the bell rang again, and the two of them broke apart. Jackie looked at Crystal, who was now staring at the ground, blushing, apologetically.

"Crys, oh my God, I'm so sorry you had to witness that."

"You're not sorry," Jan disagreed.

"It's fine, I'm used to it by now, I know how gross you guys are," Crystal smiled.

"Anyway, let's go, otherwise we'll be late for class," Jackie said in a slightly nervous tone. She hated being late.

Jan sighed.

"And I'm dating the teacher's pet."

Before Jan could try to run away again, Jackie grabbed the girl's hand and dragged her along.

On the way to class, Crystal couldn't help but feel jealous of her friends. Jan and Jackie were just such a cute couple. It wasn't like she was attracted to either of them, it was more that she had the desire to experience the same kind of love they had for each other. She wanted that kind of fairytale fantasy cute relationship, with the occasional playful teasing.

The three of them finally reached the classroom, just in time. Crystal sat down in her usual spot, and got out her needed school supplies. Since the teacher surprisingly wasn't there yet, she checked her phone, scrolling through her social media. Since there wasn't anything too interesting, she switched it off soon again and looked around for a bit. To her horror, she noticed that Gigi was looking at her. But something was weird about it. Crystal could have sworn that Gigi had looked at her with an almost friendly expression...probably as friendly as Gigi was able to, before using the look again. A few seconds later Gigi looked away again. Crystal missed that Gigi was blushing.

Crystal suddenly felt like she had invaded Gigi's personal space. It was stupid, but she felt her face heat up. To try and calm down, she ran a hand through her hair to fix it, even though nothing was wrong with it in the first place before opening her notepad, and started doodling tiny flowers and animals in it so she had something to focus on.

Just when she had calmed down enough to feel as comfortable as she could while being at school, the English teacher entered the room, greeting the students. Crystal looked up for a minute, listening to what the teacher was talking about, before going back to doodling. She was almost always more focused in class while drawing. It was accepted by most teachers, and a real blessing in art class.

Today was different. For some reason, she kept thinking about Gigi, and the way she had seen the unusual behavior of her today. It honestly wouldn't have been a big deal at all, but she had never seen Gigi without that I-accidentally-bit-into-a-lemon glance, and instead looked at Crystal like she was an actual person. Thinking about it caused Crystal to feel an odd, but definitely not unpleasant sensation spreading from her heart. Could it be..?

"No. No, definitely not, not her," she told herself before forcefully turning her attention back to the teacher.

"Okay, so today we'll start with a new topic: presentations. They are very important, you will have to do one in pretty regardless of where you want to work in your later life. Now, we'll work on your confidence first, therefore the topic of the presentation will be up to you. And because teamwork is very important as well, you'll work in groups of two."

The teacher noticed that Jan had raised her hand.

"Yes, Jan?"

"How about we get paired up randomly? Later on in our life we don't get to choose either who we'll have to work with, so this might be some good practice."

The teacher nodded, impressed by Jan's level of maturity, and surprised because the girl usually didn't participate that much.

The rest of the class seemed okay with that idea as all of them got along quite well. Jackie looked at Jan with a surprised look, Jan smiled at her before mouthing "all part of my plan, don't worry."

The teacher resumed.

"Great idea, actually, thanks Jan. Okay, everyone, please take out a piece of paper and write down your names. Then fold it and bring it to my desk."

Jan raised her hand again.

"Yes?"

"Can I please read out the teams?"

"Yeah, sure."

The next few minutes were spent by people asking for paper and pens and then writing down all of the names. Jan hastily scribbled the three letters of her own name before turning her attention to Crystal. She was writing down her name on that obnoxious rainbow colored paper she adored, making the next step of Jan's plan easier.

Then she looked at Gigi. She was using some expensive art paper she usually used to draw gorgeous pictures on. It even felt expensive, so spotting it later on shouldn't be too hard either. Jan couldn't quite believe that her plan was going so smoothly.

Jackie was ready to bring her paper to the teacher's desk, but Jan stopped her before she could do so.

"Wait, I want to be paired up with you. Mark it with a smiley or something," Jan whispered.

Jackie smirked before doing so.

"Fine, miss we-should-work-with-different-people-to-gain-new-experience."

"You'll understand later."

After every piece of paper was on the desk, Jan mixed all of them up to keep up the illusion that every pair would be selected in a fair and completely random way..

Crystal felt someone looking at her. When she looked around, it was Gigi once again. This time she was sure she had seen Gigi's initial expression which had looked almost dreamy before she was back to looking mean again. When Crystal didn't look right away again, Gigi even looked insecure for a split second before hissing "what the hell are you looking at?" before looking away herself.

Crystal was shocked. Had she just seen the usually overly confident Gigi Goode looking...insecure?

She didn't even have time to process everything that had just happened as Jan, who had already paired up quite a few people, called her name.

"Okay so Crystal and.."

Jan tried to make it seem like she was just randomly picking out a piece of paper.

"Gigi."

Crystal's jaw dropped. She didn't dare to look at Gigi. That was the worst team she had ever been in. She was shocked to the point of shivering. She felt her blood running both hot and cold at the same time. And just when she had tried to reason that she could just do her part of the assignment alone, and would just have to do the presentation with Gigi, the teacher spoke up again.

"To ensure you'll actually work together, you will get a grade as a team instead of individual ones. Before you can go, please note that you now have one week to prepare. Since I already wrote down the teams, please don't change them up again. Okay, that's it. Goodbye, see you all tomorrow."

Everyone except Crystal packed up and got ready to leave. Gigi, for once, looked unsettled and left as soon as she could in order to keep up her usual act and not show any emotions. Crystal, on the other hand, was too shocked to do anything other than staring off into space. This was officially the worst day in her life. There was no way she would survive working together with someone who looked like she was about to stab Crystal as soon as they were alone.

Jan pulled her out of her almost trance like state by waving her arms in front of Crystal.

"Hey, are you okay? You don't look good, you're so pale out of the sudden."

Crystal looked at Jan desperately.

"Okay?? No, I'm not 'okay' at all. In case you missed it, I have to work with Gigi out of all people and I can't switch partners...what am I going to do?"

Jan decided to act like she was sorry. In her opinion that drastic measure was necessary to make Crystal and Gigi talk for once, and hopefully that would be enough to make them see that they like each other. Jan had seen the way Gigi looked at Crystal when the latter wasn't aware of it, and she knew that Crystal had a hard time noticing and admitting that she liked someone, due to the fact that she once had her heart broken badly before, and it had taken lots of time and support from her friends to get over it. So, complaining about someone more often than usual was Crystal's way to try and suppress her feelings.

"I'm so sorry Crys, but I'm sure it's going to be fine. And if she's mean to you, I'll make her pay for it, I promise. In fact, I still have that weird hair dye that's supposed to dye your hair purple, but it turned mine green and it took an eternity to get it out again, remember that?"

Crystal forced herself to giggle. She did feel a bit better knowing that Jan would help her if things didn't go smoothly.

"Thanks, Janice, I appreciate it. And honestly, the green didn't look that bad. Besides, you obviously care about green frogs enough to risk legal consequences, so dyeing your hair to match them is just the natural next step."

"I probably shouldn't have told anyone that story, but I would have never thought that saving countless innocent lives would ever be used against me, at least not that frequently. But anyway, ready to leave now?"

Crystal sighed. She really didn't want to see Gigi anymore, at least today.

"What are the chances of Jackie killing you for skipping class one more time with me?"

Jan laughed.

"Unfortunately too high to risk it. Besides, you won't be able to avoid her all week, and if you don't want a bad grade you will have to work with her. Once again, I'm very sorry."

"Okay, fine. And don't apologize Jan, it's not your fault."

Jan had to suppress a smirk. If only she knew..

The rest of the school day surprisingly wasn't that terrible. Gigi didn't look at Crystal at all, not even once, instead she was fully concentrated on engaging as much as usual in each class. Crystal on the other hand didn't care about anything else that moment, she was trying and failing to come up with a way that would make working with Gigi okay. And she sure as hell wouldn't be the one to start the conversation. Since Gigi wasn't satisfied with anything less than an A, she probably would be the one to approach Crystal anyway. Hopefully.

When the school bell rang again, this time to indicate that the day was over, Crystal couldn't wait to get home, she carelessly stuffed her school supplies into her rainbow colored bag and nearly stormed out of the school without even saying goodbye to any of her friends. For once she didn't care about being nice and polite, she just wanted to go home, crawl into her bed, cry, listen to music, and ignore the world around her until she would feel better.

But today some higher force seemed to have something against her. Once she was back home, laying in her bed comfortably, surrounded by her plushies, she decided to check her phone before listening to music. It turned out to be a big mistake. She saw that she had received a message by an unknown number. Usually she would have just ignored and blocked it, but she couldn't. The number had a profile picture, and Crystal immediately recognized it. A pretty girl with perfect skin and shiny brunette hair. Gigi.

She decided that she deserved a break from everything that had happened today, so she turned on airplane mode so she wouldn't be disturbed by anyone anymore, put in her earphones once again, and then clicked on her playlist. She proceeded to close her eyes, trying not to think about anything, just listen to the music instead. She wasn't able to calm down though, even after 30 minutes of trying. The message she had refused to read out of fear earlier seemed to be haunting her. She decided to finally read it.

'Hey, it's Gigi.

It seems like we'll have to work together. I'm sure you're just as interested in a good grade as I am, so I think we should talk things out. Hating each other while trying to give a good presentation will probably not work out, plus we haven't even decided on a topic. So come to my place at 6pm, here is the address.'

Crystal checked the time. She had about an hour left. According to Google, getting to the location would take 45 minutes. She didn't want to make Gigi mad now that it seemed like they would maybe be able to finally work their problems out. She hastily jumped out of her bed, and ran into the bathroom to touch up her makeup as soon as possible.

Thankfully it wasn't terribly smudged or anything, so she was able to go on her way just a few minutes later. That way she would even have a bit of extra time in case she didn't find Gigi's house or if she needed some time to prepare herself mentally for actually ringing the doorbell, which was very likely going to be the case. Crystal had a pretty bad sense of orientation.

Meanwhile, Gigi was anxiously pacing around in her room, checking her makeup and outfit every time she passed a mirror. She had a lot of them in her room. Gigi knew that she was a mess on the inside right now, so it was even more important for her not to show it on the inside. She hoped that her facade that she had built up over the years was enough to hide her emotions from Crystal. The truth was, she wasn't as confident as she pretended to be. In fact, Gigi was a very insecure girl, afraid that someone would see right through her, able to tell just how weak she actually was on the inside. She was scared that people would make fun of her, so she just pushed everyone who tried to befriend her away. Being friends with people had never worked out in the past, instead she had been used and then she had been left with low self esteem and trust issues. Eventually she decided she wouldn't get hurt by people ever again, and that was when she started wearing expensive clothes to intimidate people and flawless makeup as it made her feel like a completely different person, beautiful and confident. Her makeup was like a mask for her as well, a constant reminder that she needed to keep up her facade to remain safe.

Gigi's thoughts were interrupted by the piercing sound of the doorbell. She checked her makeup for what seemed like the 100th time that day, and then went to open the door.

"Hey," Crystal greeted her, looking as nervous and anxious as Gigi felt. For some reason it made her feel better.

"Hey. Thanks for coming. Come in." Gigi managed to keep her usual cool tone despite the fact that she was extremely nervous.

Crystal did as she was told. Unexpectedly, Gigi's house was both huge, almost as big as a mansion, and the furniture looked extremely expensive and beautiful. But since Crystal was also a nervous mess, she wasn't able to focus on anything properly.

Gigi led her into her room (a gigantic one, beautiful and organized, girly but not at all kitschy) and monitored for Crystal to sit down on her bed. Crystal, again, did as she was told, it was her only option as she couldn't even think straight. Gigi carefully sat down next to her. She didn't look at Crystal because she felt like she would break if she did, and instead stared at her ceiling.

"Okay so, I guess I'll explain why I behave the way I do around you. The truth is, I don't hate you. I know you think I do, but I don't. In fact, I'm jealous of you."

Crystal couldn't believe her ears. First of all, Gigi talking about her feelings? And most importantly: How could Gigi Perfect Goode be jealous of her? Crystal bit her tongue to remain silent, the question was burning on her tongue, but she felt like talking wasn't a good idea right now.

"You're so lucky. You get to be yourself. You can wear and act however you want because you're so cute and loveable and everyone wants to be your friend."

Did Gigi just call me cute?

"You don't know what it means to constantly act like a bitch to keep people away from me. And all of that because I'm scared. I'm so scared of being judged. Of being used, of being hurt. I can't handle another person lowering my self esteem to the point where I can't leave the house anymore. It took me months to get where I am today. Why do you think I check my hair and makeup every few minutes? Why do you think I keep staring at you?"

Gigi was getting so emotional that she had to stop talking as her eyes were starting to get as glossy as her perfectly applied lip gloss. She tried taking deep breaths to calm down, but that just made everything worse.

"This is so stupid, I'm sorry…"

"Gigi, please don't call your emotions stupid. It's okay to express your feelings,you've been ignoring them for far too long already. I promise I won't tell anyone. And I know what being hurt feels like, believe me, and being able to talk about my feelings helped me a lot."

Perhaps it were Crystal's words, perhaps Gigi's feelings were too much for her to bottle up anymore, but just a minute later she found herself bawling her eyes out while Crystal had her arms wrapped around her in a protective and comforting way that Gigi actually felt like it was okay for her to cry and let out everything. It was weird, they didn't even really know each other, and surely she wouldn't have expected the meeting with Crystal to go like that at all, but strangely enough it felt so right.

After a solid ten minutes of crying, Gigi was finally starting to calm down. She decided that now, since she had told Crystal her secret already and she had also cried in Crystal's arms, which had probably ruined her pretty makeup/ facade, she had nothing to lose anymore. She freed herself from Crystal's grip, cupped the girl's face, and proceeded to kiss her like she had been wanting to for months. She was fast and aggressive, all of her emotions went into it.

Crystal didn't even think, the kiss felt more than right, so she kissed back just a second later with the same intensity to match Gigi's energy.

It wasn't like the start of her dream fairy tale beginning of a relationship, quite the opposite, actually. Gigi was still crying, Crystal's face was getting wet from the tears, but in that moment she could have cared less about the 'perfect' start of a relationship. What she had right here was just as perfect to her, if not more.

After what could have been seconds, minutes, or even days, both of them were blown away by the intensity of the moment that time didn't matter anymore, they slowly broke apart.

"Crystal I'm so sorry. I didn't know what came over me," Gigi started all of the sudden. She was breathing way too fast.

"Shh, calm down. My only question is, did you mean the kiss? Be honest."

Gigi nodded, looking away.

"I meant it too when I kissed you back."

Gigi looked like a weight had been lifted off of her. Then, she seemed to have an idea.

"I know this is incredibly early, but uhm..I'm alone and my parents won't come back until in a few days, do you maybe want to stay with me for the night? I just want to find out more about the girl I've been secretly admiring for the past few months."

Crystal smiled softly.

"Of course. I would love to know more about the girl that has been hiding every emotion for..I don't even know how long. Tell me what you're feeling, every single one, I want to know all about them. And please don't ever be afraid again to show people your vulnerable side. The world may be terrible, but not every single person is, I promise."

"You're the prime example of that," Gigi said quietly.

"You're still treating me like this even though I was such a terrible person to you...thank you so much Crystal."

With that, they intertwined their fingers, slowly getting closer until their lips touched again. This time it felt different, but just as amazing. It was all slow and tender, and neither of them wanted the moment to end. Maybe it was like in the kitschy fairy tales after all.

[reapersman]

ACTUALLY here’s my super short and sweet guide to getting into discworld.

books: there’s a lot of them. you can read in any order, really, but there are larger plotlines you can follow. for example, Death makes minor appearances in a lot of books, but if you want to follow his main story, then you’d read mort > reaper man > soul music > hogfather > thief of time. there are a lot of ways you can read the discworld novels, and this page helps a lot! right now i’m reading through things thematically!

i highly recommend mort, because Death is featured in it and i’m biased, but also because it does work nicely as a stand-alone novel if you’re wary of getting into a series.

live-action! there’s been a few adaptations of discworld books. folks over at sky one created 3 different mini-series adapting the books: the hogfather (2006), the colour of magic (2008) and going postal (2010). these are all live-action 2-part mini series! i highly recommend the hogfather because, again, Death is in it and i’m biased. but also, i’ve seen it about a dozen times as well as i’ve read the book a dozen times, and it’s a very faithful adaptation imo. i’ve yet to watch TCM or GP, but they’re on my list, and since they’re made by the same folks who made the hogfather i’m inclined to believe they’re pretty good too! i know the hogfather is on youtube but i think maybe the rest are too??

there’s a tv show airing rn called the watch. it’s based on / inspired by the ankh morpork city watch books, and features death iirc, but i haven’t seen it yet. i want to get around to reading the books first before watching it, but from what i’ve heard it’s only loosely based on the original books and ... i don’t think it’s widely loved by dedicated fans. it looks like a fun show though, just not faithful to the Lore!

cartoons! channel 4 adapted two books into animated mini series’: soul music & weird sisters. it’s very 90s. the animation is a little janky and they aren’t perfect, but i think they’re so charming in their own right and christopher lee voices death! they’re both up on youtube.

graphic novels! idk how hard these are to find online bc i bought my copy of mort like a simp but basically: mort, the colour of magic / the light fantastic, guards! guards! and small gods got adapted into graphic novels/comics.

[tellywoodtrash]

immj2 09.10.20 lb

lol, lemme preface this by telling you what i know about the show from my out-of-context insta-viewing:

kabir sends his gf riddhima in to spy on vansh RAISINGHANIA (naam ka wazan check karein ji. kaafi hi bhaari-bharkam, just like the fake baritone the actor playing the character is being forced to put on.) vansh is some kinda shady, but idk WHAT SPECIFIC KIND of shady..... like is he just your garden-variety-evil-capitalist-ala-ambani-bezos, or is he into shit like drug smuggling and human/organ trafficking???? no one knows. maybe a little bit of both. but kabir’s a COP, and we all know that those fuckers are the shadiest shits around (#ACAB) so yeah, true to type, kabir shadyyyyyyyy. he’s actually the secret illegitimate son of vansh’s stepmom and together they wanna ruin vansh and take all his monies. so anyway, kabir sends in riddhima, who’s just a whole special brand of dumbass, but also extraordinarily determined in the way only tellywood heroines are. so she’s basically sticking her nose everywhere that doesn’t belong and being a pain in the ass of literally everyone in the show, including her own (coz she seems to get injured in novel and entertaining ways in every second episode.) kabir ultimately manipulates her into marrying vansh, while vansh has apparently married her KNOWING that she’s a spy and is probably playing the long game to see who her puppet-master is. long story short, heterosexuality is too potent a force and the Stupid Spy Girl and Gangsta Guy are currently slowly giving in to the Feelz™, despite missing that one-little-teensy-weensy-who-even-needs-it-in-a-real-relationship thing. y’know, that little thing called, idk, i think it’s called “TRUST” or some such strange unheard-of concept.

oh, in between all this there’s also some bizarre plot about some ex of vansh’s called ragini, who’s dead??? missing? idk. kabir is real interested in that and wants to jail vansh for it, but we’ve long forgotten about ragini by this point #RIPSis anyway, there’s some kinda statue of her’s in the attic or some shit, coz vansh is some kinda modern day gender-reversed medusa who turns women who cross him into statues??? idk man, idk. so riddhima is pretty much in constant danger of being statue-d.

also vansh has a requisite irritating famiy in tow, that he’s burdened with being in charge of (coz no rest for the unfortunate eldest son who lives in this godforksaken mansion, be that an oberoi or a raisinghania) feat: a dadi who is well-meaning, but as annoying as the one in IB was, constantly spouting platitudes about how vansh and Spy Girl trooooooly lurrrrrrrrrrve each other *kissy noises*; some chachi/chacha who are all “HEY WHY DOES HE GET TO BE THE BOSS, WE WANT CONTROL OF THE CRORE-ON KA BIJNESS TOO”, some very fake kanji-eyed siblings/cousins who are supreme bitches, and ofc one (1) normal sibling who is sweet but really does nothing around here. oh and there’s his right hand man/bff too, who seems to be not 100% (maybe just 83%?) incompetent like everyone else. that poor sod just got suckered into marrying Kanji Aankhon Waali Bitch Sister, who is pregnant with some total rando’s baby, and is just an all-round asshole to Riddhima/Right Hand Man, because “ugh, yeh do kaudi ke middle class naukar log, cheeeeee.”

ok now that the sasta, not-at-all-useful recap has been done, LET’S GET INTO THISSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.

———————————————————————

the chachi is screaming her goddamn headdddd off coz her room is on fire. ofc it is. when has anything good ever happened in this manhoos house of horrors.

lmao the kanji eyed cousin has like 3% concern that his mom will be fried like a taaza jalebi. he's literally sauntering luxuriously towards his mom's room jaise park mein tehel raha ho.

chachi's screaming is getting on my nerves. aunty you're wasting valuable oxygen this way.  

riddhima is behind some secret box that aryan and chachi stashed in the room.

THESE PPL ARE SO CHILL ABOUT A WHOLE ROOM ON FIRE (note: it’s shivaay's room in IB) and they're just hanging out in the living room (which if you’ll remember, IS ATTACHED TO THE ROOM THAT WAS SHIVAAY’S) as if fire doesnt have a tendency to y'know..........  SPREAD RAPIDLY.

riddhima is fighting with the bloody fireman saying ki i need to save the box. #priorities

aaaaaaand the fireman is kabir, who has come to haath maarofy on Box of Secrets.

and we know this coz he did a DRAMAAAAAAAAATIC reveal by taking off his mask. in a room FULLY ON FIRE. idhar non-flaming rooms mein bhi ab mask nikaalna danger ho gaya hai, and this guy justtttttttttt dgaf. tum jaison ki wajaah se hi we can't bloody stop the spread.

my god this house has been decorated soooooooo fucking tackily. never thought the oberois would be the classy ones.

shady saasumaa and riddhima stinkeye-ing each other over a bowl of shehed. lol, what even. truly some "rasode mein kaun tha" lvl of politics.

oh ho, saasumaa and kabir lagaaofied the aag.

saasumaa gloating over the fact that riddhima will now never get her hands on Box of Secrets.

flashback time: hahahahaha KABIR LITERALLY LOBBED A MOLOTOV COCKTAIL INTO THE ROOM AND CHACHI DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING HEAR IT OR ANYTHING. lmao everyone in this show is a dumbass. how blissful life must be with just one (1) working brain cell.

riddhima runs into flaming room. ofc now we will have a prolonged sequence where kabir tries to keep his identity and riddhima being the dheent that she is, will give chase.

please note, that not even 48 hours ago, this woman walked barefoot on a bed of coals AND a hallway full of broken glass. AND NOW SHE'S RUNNING FULL SPEED BEHIND KABIR AS IF SHE’S PT USHA. SIS, TUMHARE PAIR HAIN KI KYA HAIN? YOU'RE LONG OVERDUE FOR AN INTENSE PEDICURE AFTER THIS WEEK.

and ofc, he got into a getaway car and made it away.

yeh lo, iss beech mein dadi behosh. ouff.

whooooooooops, dadi has some weird blue nishaan on her neck.

LMAO KABIR SHOT AT RIDDHIMA WITH A POISON BULLET OR SYRINGE OR SOME SHIT, WHICH HIT DADI INSTEAD. LMAO MAN THIS SHOW. IT'S SO FUCKING DUMB, I LOVE IT.

some more stinkeye politics between saas bahu.

bahu is passive-aggressively giving saasumaa roses to congratulate her on winning this round.

riddhima is dheent!max. she's like kuch bhi ho, i'll find the secret anyway and your victory will witherrrrrrr awayyyyyyyy like these flowerssssss and you will be left with the thorns that will prick youuuuuuuu!!!!!!!

LMAO SAAS IS FULLY ROLLING HER EYES AT RIDDHIMA'S DRAMATIC ASS #SAME

just looking at helly's ears is making my ears hurt like a bitch. 

hey riddhima, have you ever thought that maybe this secret child of hers is NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS?????? like honestly, the entitlement desis have to know the workings of other ppl’s wombs.

lol dumbass mummyji crumpled the flowers in her hand and played right into riddhima's stupid kaante waala metaphor. #ramMilayiJodi

hero ko covid hai toh ainvayi ke phone calls se kaam chalaana pad raha hai.

the dude left his house for literally the first time in months and the place is on fire and dadi got shot in the neck with poison. and the wife doesn't think she should tell him so that he doesn't become "pareshaan". sure, this seems like a dude who'll take this kinda thing real light when he finds out later.

(hint: he’s not. he’s a crazed, overprotective weirdo about his family. sound familiar?????)

this guy's dialogue delivery is so dodgy. idk what it is, it just seems so affected.

that plus the ainvayi ka editing just showing him in some random car (clearly from the earlier eps)  is just adding to the jankiness of the scene.

husband dude seems to know wifey's quirks quite well. kinda cute, kinda creepy. 

lol kal tak toh yeh banda itna romantic nahi tha. like he had a smooth moment here and there, but he was mostly real awkward and robotic and unsure how to handle These Strange New Feelings™. now he’s spouting cheesyass lines about being able to see the one who is special to you with dil ki aankhein and idk what.

who are these people who like SHARING their room with another person? #unrealistic

but i also i get you, riddhima. he was pretty much the only thing worth looking at in this room, coz the rest of it is so damn fugggggg. this room should be the one set on fire.

dang, some steamy scenes between them in the flashbacks. ouff abhi jaake episodes dhundne padenge. coz #tharkiTTisTharki

riddhima doing dadi seva. boooooooooring.

ofc dadi ki sui is always atkofied on playing cupid for pota, taaki she can score some par-pota/potis.

riddhima ki best friend ka happy birthday hai.

riddhima is like a lottttt has happened in my life, can't really tell you over a call. yup, that’s for sure. 

ok apparently sejal who said she’s in dubai now is NOT in dubai?? she's just up and flew to mumbai to "surprise" riddhima...... on HER OWN birthday? #doesNotCompute

lmao kabir's annoyance with mummy's useless glass of water. WHY DO MOMS THINK EVERYTHING CAN BE SOLVED WITH DRINKING MORE WATER?!?!?!!

now he's yelling at mom about how she's ruined everything. sure. blame the only one who's actually doing shit around here, while you sit on your ass in this room, glaring and growling like a hangry bear.

some menacing dialogue about how he needs to thikaane lagaaofy riddhima's hosh.

which has been overheard by bff sejal, who went and dropped a showpiece from shock. cool. so she gonna die. bye sejal, hardly got to know ya!

sejal being here doesn’t even make sense. she thought he was a PT teacher. then why did she show up here at his police waala office? also how did she connect the dots about the whole damn story with like 0.04% context that she got from what she overheard? kuchhhhhhh bhi.

[plush-anon]

SCOOB! Stream of Consciousness Review

Here we are folks - I finally review the originally cinematic, fully CGI animated Scooby Doo Movie (one year later... I did not queue this as I thought I had last June - damn you, Tumblr. I’m not changing much here, so enjoy as it was intended).

Created by a team who have professed their affection for this mystery team and their meddling dog too, will this be a lush experience fit to satisfy any Hanna-Barbera fan? Or will it be a hot garbage cash-grab, littered with Easter eggs and references that do nothing to hide a meatless mess of outdated memes and shallow character development?

LET’S

FIND

OUT

Below this cut is my entire stream-of-consciousness review on the SCOOB! Movie, as experienced. SPOILER warning here - I’m digging into everything, no plot points spared. 

Here we go~

And we start off with a decent shot of the California coastline (looks like the kids backstory is front and center), some 90s hip-hop synthwave song about California, and OH SWEET JESUS THESE MODELS LOOK TERRIBLE

Ahem

Yeah, this is a problem right off the bat - some of these people in the opening shots look remarkably unfinished - think three shades above “Rapsittie Kids: Believe in Santa” level - and the animation on them is less than stellar. 

On the plus side, we do see a fantastic variety of ages, sizes, and races - there’s a brief blink-and-you’ll-miss-it Sikh man on roller skates playing a sitar - but when the designs look rushed in the opening shots, it’s not a fantastic sign. At least they’re brief, but it’s hard to see if this is a lower level of the film’s style due to rushed animation, or if they didn’t care to polish it up as much, given that it’s maybe a 30 second scene. 

Still, kudos to actually going for variety in the crowd shots. Minus kudos to making most of the clothes look like Play-doh draped over a Barbie doll. I’m not even kidding on that one, the clothes are super basic and barely have any sign of texture or creasing or even fabric/cut variety. Almost reminds me of the first Toy Story movie’s design for human clothes, yeesh. 

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Ahh, our first introduction to Scooby Doo at a Greek gyro food stand. That’s foreshadowing right there folks! 😉

Sadly, he is really weirdly animated in his run sequence - he looks out of proportion as he’s running on his hind legs, and the human animation has really bad consistency - some background characters are really janky, while others actually move really nicely. The characters we immediately focus on seem to be pretty smooth at least, but that’s still very strange.

On a side note: Ruby and Spears Sub Sandwich shop. Nice 😁

----

They are reaaaally pushing the super over-the-top dramatic music for a bike cop chasing a dog that stole gyro meat

Why

It’s not even interesting chase music, just generic super-hyped-up chase music

----

And now we finally get to see a young Shaggy, standing next to a tie-dye food stand called Casey’s Confections that… sells meat. Hm. Guess WB hasn’t learned after all these years 🙄

Unfortunately, I’m not a huge fan of the kid they got to play him, Iain Armitage. He’s not a bad voice actor by any means, but he just doesn’t sound right for Shaggy. I know that as a kid he’d be much less likely to have a cracking/squeaky voice, but he sounds… it’s hard to pin down a word, but - precocious? Darling? Either way it doesn’t quite match, especially given how Shaggy sounds when he grows up via Will Forte. Just… no connection there. 

I tie it down to the particular vocal twangs and nuances the gang usually has. I’ll touch base on that note later I think, once we hit the teenage versions of the gang, but for now I’m just not feeling it. 

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On the one hand, I empathize deeply with Shaggy and his Spotify’s unsettling ability to pinpoint his insecurities with song choices, and also deeply enjoy that one small gesture where his fingers kind of shake & tighten around his phone while he takes a deep breath to calm himself- it’s a very nice, subtle sign of frustration

On the other hand we just passed two guys with no nipples and an unerring likeness to a Ken doll in those Barbie movies, so I’m distracted by that now

(between this and Fred’s no-nipples in Happy Halloween SD!, is WB just terrified of giving men nipples in animated movies now? what gives?)

Also distracted by the thrifty lesbians who bought those two shirts that come together to make a heart in the middle, on the store’s 2 for 1 day

happy pride y’all!

---

Finally got context for the two sand piles!

Very, very sad context, but still! Progress!

Basically Shaggy’s practicing talking to people in order to learn how to make friends, since he either has no idea how, or has never had a friend before. So he’s trying to learn the right way to do it since his own attempts have failed

And him talking to these sand piles not only counts as practice, but he’s using them so that his mom thinks he’s spending time with friends like he told her

Ow :)

---

So ketchup leather is apparently a thing that exists

I’m learning so much today!

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Given that Shaggy has no friends at this stage, but he’s still called Shaggy, I’m kind of wondering if that was a mean nickname that everyone called him, but he was just grateful for the interaction/pretended it was from friends, so he kept it 🤔

Actually, take it back, his mother is calling him that. Family nickname, maybe…?

----

Shaggy has Blue Falcon (classic) and Dynomutt funko pops

noice

---

Oof, you can reaaaaally hear the age in Frank Welker’s Scooby voice. Can we get Scott Innes back? He sounds almost identical to his performance 20+ years ago :/

Also talking waaaay too much - even SDMI Scooby wasn’t this wordy, and he NEVER shut the hell up 

----

Okay wait

So Shaggy met Scooby on Halloween day - then met the rest of the gang hours later?

Huh. And here I was thinking it would have been a few weeks minimum 

Although I have to say there is a lot here to work with, if it paces out how I think it does

Shaggy meets Scooby. Bare hours later, he buys him a collar (instead of his mom? weird) and asks him to stay with him, despite not really knowing him. Then, only a couple hours after that, he finally makes some friends… but only when Scooby is with him. 

Given that it looks like the gang are all around the same age in the same neighborhood, there’s a solid chance that they’ve taken classes together at the same school. If none of them met/knew/made friends with Shaggy then, but only did so AFTER Scooby came into the picture, that might lead to the argument we know about later when they split up; afterwards, S&SD go to the bowling alley, then get abducted by the Blue Falcon, plot continues. This could make it seem like they were only friends with him at the start because he had a dog. 

And the brief scene earlier with the music device shows that he tries to tamp down on his anger/doesn’t really address it - could lead to something more later 

hmmmm 🤔

---

Wait what

These two kid bullies just came out of nowhere, stole Shaggy’s candy… and then started on about how Halloween is only a marketing ploy to get companies to rot your teeth and go to the dentist more, before throwing the bag through a window and telling the two that ‘your blood sugar will thank us for it!’

Are - are these the brainwashed children of a Karen? Is that what I’m seeing?

I mean we could have had a Red Herring cameo, but apparently informing children about candy conspiracy theories is more important :/

----

Daphne: It’s Halloween - no one should go home without their candy

FD&V: *none of them have candy/candy bags*

???????

(Wouldn’t it make more sense if the bullies had stolen their candy too? What the hey man)

----

I do find it neat that we actually get to SEE the wires the ‘ghost’ uses to fly in full effect - that’s actually pretty cool, and not really something we get to see up close in older Scooby shows. Most of those just have the bad guy randomly flying about, and the wires revealed after the fact 

---

Actually, given how FD&V react to this ghost almost immediately… have they already been solving mysteries? It seems like it, given how smoothly they move together to capture him

That’s kind of odd in kids. Like, even in PNSD they weren’t perfectly in-sync on stuff

This then leads to the gang solving mysteries together… in spite of the fact that all Shag and Scoob did was hide in the wardrobe that had the stolen goods, while FD&V captured the dude 

Granted, they do ask Shag and Scoob if they wanna join in and say yes, but that seems like an strange jump after what could have been a one-time deal

I just find that a touch odd - esp when they could have had a five minute scene or so of them wandering around the house, touching on some old SDWAY traits. Heck, show that they’re SCARED in some way, and don’t immediately move to tackle what looks like a murderous spirit at age 8-9 or so. Even just showing the kids learning about each other would be enough, but what do I know. I’ve only watched Scooby Doo everything since I was 4 🙄

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Ahhhh, and now for the updated rendition of the theme song

Where they’re all still kids doing everything the teenage gang did in the theme song

It doesn’t look as good as the OG, though - kind of like a computer game simulating the SDWAY intro using the PNSD kids in CGI. It’s honestly strange to see, and a little jarring - especially when we then transition to the older teenage gang right in the middle

Like, we don’t get to see you guys age through the song as you’re chased by/catch different monsters? That could have been pretty neat honestly - shows how long they’ve been doing this

Tho I gotta admit, seeing the Spooky Space Kook with his OG sound effects is pretty awesome, brief as it waoH MY GOD FRED WHY ARE YOU HAVING A ROMANTIC BEACHSIDE DATE WITH THE MYSTERY MACHINE 

THAT WASN’T IN THE ORIGINAL AND NO ONE ELSE GETS A CHARACTER INSIGHT SHOT LIKE THIS

WHY

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Huh, looks like Ruby & Spears gave up their subway sandwich shop for a coffee shop

That apparently the gang goes to in order to eat malt shop food

okay?

----

Ah, and here’s where we finally look at the voice acting of the older teenage gang. Buckle up folks, cause I gotta lot to say

We’ll start with Fred, bc honestly? I think Efron actually fits him pretty dang well. He’s got a different cadence from Welker, true, but as far as an update goes? I think he’s a solid fit. Very much in line with the all-American kid that Fred’s kind of been slated as for the past 50 years or so, but updated more for the modern perspective. I call it solid (and possibly a replacement for whenever Welker decides to retire). 

Next? Oof. Velma is, IMHO, the weakest casting. Velma, no matter her voice actress, has ALWAYS had some form of nasal twang to her voice - that’s part of what makes her Velma to begin with, and helps her stand out. Nicole Jaffe, Pat Stevens, BJ Ward, Christina Lange (PNSD), Mindy Cohn, Kate Micucci, Linda Cardellini -heck, even Haley Kiyoko from ‘The Mystery Begins’ and Sarah Gilman from the ‘Daphne and Velma’ movie understood this! They all had that nasal twang to their voice - differing between actresses, of course, but still recognizable as Velma. Gina Rodriguez though? Honestly, it just sounds like she’s acting it straight. Not bad acting at all, by any means - she just doesn’t sound like Velma, and doesn’t seem to be trying to. (Honestly wondering if she was only hired bc she voices Carmen Sandiego in the reboot cartoon for the lolz fun reference! type connection) 

Daphne is sort of similar in voices, but hers is more of a pitch her voice hits - Heather North, Mary Kay Bergman, and Grey Delisle Griffin all have that pitch they hit naturally when speaking. Amanda Seyfried? Does not - in fact, her voice is actually deeper than I was expecting - but it’s not quite as big a difference as it is for Velma. It fits her character type okay, and she does well with it overall.  

And finally, the most controversial one: Will Forte’s Shaggy. 

I’ll go ahead and say this: he’s not Scott Menville levels of bad Shaggy voice acting. If I were to place him on a list, I’d probably put him around Billy West level - kind of sounds similar via vocal tics (voice cracking, likes and zoinks, etc), but his own voice just overtakes the impression he’s seeking to hit. When I hear him speak, I don’t really hear Shaggy; I just hear Will Forte trying to do an impression of Shaggy. 

In comparison: when Scott Innes took over for Shaggy, it was like Casey Kasem’s, just a touch more of a twang to his voice and just a dash over-the-top - but it was still Shaggy, and you didn’t doubt that for a minute.

Same thing for Lillard, but maybe moreso - he was pretty much the most perfect casting for a live-action Shaggy there could be at the time Scooby Doo (2002) was made. Him taking over for Kasem from there made perfect sense: he was honestly the best cast Mystery Inc member of the live-actions, and a lot more recognizable to the general public as Shaggy than Scott Innes was. He could also do different emotions with Shaggy that not a lot of the other voice actors had the chance to do (mainly bc script), so for future stuff they have that flexibility, if they wanted to play around a little more. 

With any luck Forte will get better over the course of the movie, but honestly the casting could have been so much better with Matt Lillard and Kate Micucci. 

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Shaggy Rogers, evading taxes since 2020

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siMON COWELL??!? 

WHAT THE

WHY?!?!?

ALSO HIS CHARACTER DESIGN STYLE IS COMPLETELY DIFFERENT FROM THE REST OF THE GANG WHAT IS EVEN GOING ON?!!?

IS HE SUPPOSED TO BE THE SD CELEBRITY CAMEO

LIKE

IF YOU WERE GOING TO DO A CAMEO FROM AMERICAN IDOL WHY NOT RYAN SEACREST 

HE TOOK OVER FOR CASEY KASEM ON THE AMERICAN TOP 40 WOULDN’T THAT MAKE MORE SENSE

aaauuuggghhh

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Also he’s there as a potential investor in Mystery Inc as a detective agency

A music industry professional… is interested in funding a detective agency.

Like… did he miss out on Josie & the Pussycats? Is that why he’s here?

----

Wait a minute

Oh noooooo

I know why he’s here

I remember this spoiler

Shit

-----

And once again, here is your reminder to tell Simon Cowell a great big fcuk you

Only this time it’s for making Shaggy and Scooby feel worthless and saying that friendship is worthless and cannot be counted on for anything worthwhile

Simon Cowell: Professional Dickhead

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Welp, at least this gives a solid reason why they leave: Simon Cowell was being a professional dickhead, and the gang didn’t really say anything against him or interrupt him on his whole ‘Shag and Scoob are worthless spiel’

Or, well... Daphne stepped up some, but more to say ‘they’re our friends!’ rather than ‘that’s entirely wrong, our friends aren’t worthless!’ Better than nothing, but yeesh

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Ahhh, Takamoto Bowling - the emptiest bowling alley in the evenings this side of Coolsville 

(no seriously, the past few times my dad has taken my sister and me bowling pre-pandemic, no matter the day or time? it’s ALWAYS got more than 6 lanes of people there, what the heck)

Also Scooby wears three bowling shoes, which honestly makes more sense than I thought it would - that pup goes spinning and sliding every which way on a normal floor, bowling alley floors would be like ten times worse

----

here’s a nice little detail - when Scooby sees one of the bowling pins peek out with red eyes and he yells that to Shaggy, Shaggy actually squints and walks closer to see if it actually does have eyes

aww

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Huh, okay 

Panicked Will Forte Shaggy actually sounds more like a good Shaggy voice than normal talking Will Forte Shaggy

I can dig it

---

Still kind of underwhelmed by the Shag and Scoob disguise scene - wouldn’t it make more sense to have them like, dish up hot sauce or something on a plate that nonsensically makes the robots overheat before they discover their ruse?

Idk, maybe they’re off their game after Simon ‘Dickhead’ Cowell

---

Carlton Way - must be named after Fred’s only other voice actor, Carlton Stevens of PNSD

Also Hanna’s Barber Shop is next to Barbera’s Pizza! Cute.

And… Pitstop’s Pink Perfume ad. Wait, who is that? *assorted googling noises*

...ahhh, Penelope Pitstop from Wacky Races! Who, according to Wikipedia, was revealed to have Greek ancestry in the 2016 Wacky Raceland comic book, having been born on the island of Aegina

Now I’m wondering if we’ll see her in this too, given Cerberus...

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Honestly kind of fascinating to see the gang with a police radio in their van

Also fascinating to see that only main characters are allowed clothing variety and texture/creases/folds

---

it’s actually really sweet to see Fred, upon hearing that Shag and Scoob are likely in danger, immediately makes a 90 degree turn in traffic

---

It looks like they changes Dee Dee’s name a hair - now it’s Dee Dee Skyes, instead of Sykes

It works well for the Falcon aesthetic, so that’s cool

----

Shaggy, after Dee Dee tells them that Dastardly’s trying to kill them: Scoob, someone thinks we’re important enough to *mimes slitting throat*!

Scooby: It’s nice to be wanted.

Excellent! This movie has captured Shag and Scoob’s blasé attitude towards death! Now we’re onto a solid Scooby film :D

Dee Dee: Hmm, I hear that!

And they even have a friend to share in their attitude! Splendid!

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Christ, I can work photoshop better than Blue Falcon can, and I don’t even know how to use photoshop

I will give major kudos on his costume tho - it maintains the important elements of the OG Falcon, while still updating it with more bird-related aesthetic, like the feathered appearance of parts of his costume, the split cape resembling the tail feathers, and the talon gauntlets & boots. neat!

---

Yooo, Dynomutt, I thought secret identities were still a thing with Superheroes, what the hey are you doing giving it out to a duo you literally just picked up behind a bowling alley

Ngl, I’m kinda hoping we get some scenes where Dynomutt messes up a little like in the OG cartoon - this one feels really serious, which is kind of strange

---

Okay now I want to see older!Blue Falcon come in for a cameo

Mainly bc I’m getting the feeling that this one is a major dumbass, and not in the fun and friendly himbo kind of way 😑

---

Wait, THAT’S our first look at Dastardly? That’s a bit abrupt, isn’t it?

Also his ship must be pumping thousands of gallons of toxins into the air, that smoke cloud looks hideous. Forget logging into his mom’s Netflix account like the trailer said, EPA should probably be hunting him for sport with a laser cannon, jesus fcuking christ

---

Honestly kinda want a plane you can pilot like a motorbike now

---

Welp, it looks like we have a fun, mustache-twirly, puns-aplenty, loves-to-be-bad kind of villain on our hands folks! This is gonna be FUN AS HECK

---

Eurgh, this scene - the super-stiff-but-stretched-out ‘yeeurgh’ faces really squick me for some reason, but I can’t really pinpoint why

---

I have decided I highly dislike the Brian Blue Falcon, or Brian Falcon for short, and would like to see Dastardly tie him to some railroad tracks

---

North St for Heather North, and… wait… Funland Carnival? Like where Charlie the Robot hung out?

Apparently that’s in Romania.

A very yellow-greenfilter Romania at that.

 Like, I’ve seen blue washes on movies trying to portray evening in the middle of the day so they don’t actually have to shoot at night, but yellow? That’s normally used for deserts and hot days and uhhh 

NOT for evenings in a country with landscape like THIS

odd

(I mean I guess they got the mountains and trees right, but still. Yellow filters make a place look arid, which Romania is Not, to my knowledge)

----

Dude, Brian Falcon is such an idiot even Shaggy and Scooby, commonly portrayed as the idiots of Mystery Inc, look at him like he’s a moron.

(They are Not Amused.)

Also Brian Falcon is an absolute coward. That’s new. Even Shaggy and Scooby face off against the robots directly in a Whack-a-Mole game and destroy some. Dude, get your head in the fcuking game already, yikes

--

Woah, Laff-a-Lympics, Wacky Races, Hex Girls, The Banana Splits, Penelope Pitstop, Space Stars, Posse Impossible, and Hong Kong Phooey easter eggs in one shot

Geezus

--- 

Another nice moment: when cornered by Dastardly, Shaggy moves to stand in front of Scooby to protect him

---

Dastardly (to Shaggy): I don’t care about YOU. You’re not REMOTELY important!

*proceeds to shoot Shaggy THROUGH the ceiling and up into the highest car on a Ferris Wheel where Brian Falcon is hiding like a man baby*

Welp, so much for a fun and zany villain. Time for this Plush Anon to kill a bitch *cocks shotgun*

I will, too - kudos to the animators for hurting me so badly with the face Shaggy made right before being shot because

OW

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Ehehehhehe, yess, the infamous ‘Dick’ scene

Dastardly: No, I’m a DICK. With a D!

You sure are, you sack of dildos with a D!

This scene had to be put in on purpose - if this had been released in theaters, I just know the adults would be dying in laughter 🤣🤣🤣

----

Shaggy: Brian, do something! 

Brian Falcon: Like what?

Shaggy: Like, drop some F-Bombs!

love it 😂

---

Is it like movie law now, that if there’s an action scene with a Ferris Wheel in the background, it has to fall off and roll down a mild incline like a wheel? Because it kinda feels like it

---

Aha! Dastardly said his drats! Perfection.

Now to shoot him through a ceiling to make them matter even more :D

---

OOF. 

Well that hurt. 

Poor Shaggy - basically internalizing now that he’s the worthless one and weak link of the group now that Scooby is considered more important

---

Holy fcuk I’m crying

Shaggy just broke Brian Falcon down to his deepest insecurities without even trying while talking to him

He even used the words ‘imposter syndrome’ 

Shaggy hon, you’re the best

----

Oh hey, Fred, Daphne, and Velma! It’s been a while since we saw you guys again, what are you doing?

Arguing about the metric system and realizing that Shaggy and Scooby reminding them to eat periodically helped them keep a clearer head...

And using the word ‘hangry’.

But then looking through a ridiculously cute photo album of the two and a video the gang took together (the video is honestly really heckin’ cute, 10000/10 would recommend)...

And then getting pulled over so Fred can have a brief ‘oo-la-la’ montage about the pretty blonde cop who honest-to-gods looks like a Barbie doll.

Where Daphne then describes how ugly Dastardly is...

Right before the petite blonde cop who’s maybe like 5’7” at best rips off her outfit to reveal it was Dick Dastardly this entire time, all 7ish feet of him.

And then kidnaps them all along with the Mystery Machine while he makes terribly fun dorky puns

…

...SO BACK TO SCOOBY AND SHAGGY...

---

...where Scooby is making kissy faces in the mirror while wearing his Blue Falcon uniform

Hrm, that’s not really better is it

We actually see Shaggy reading (OG) Blue Falcon’s autobiography, and making hurt but snide comments about Scooby’s ego

Which are actually pretty clever tbh

-----

Cooooooongratulations, Fred Jones! You are now officially a full-on himbo!

----

Alas, poor Daphne. While your knowledge of the tropes of your show might have served you well in other places, this was to be a theatrical release once upon a time, and so such knowledge falls to ruin.

----

You know, I just realized - we’re never really told HOW the Cerberus skulls work, both in how each skull can be used to find the others,  and, presumably, in releasing Cerberus itself. We’re given a brief glance-over of Scooby’s ancestry (and I mean REALLY damn brief), and a quick mention that these are supposed to be Cerberus’ skulls being stolen, but… that’s it. Nothing else is given. 

Now, I read the first few chapters of my SCOOB! Junior Novelization, and it actually went into further detail about the skulls themselves and what Dastardly’s initial plan was early in the book - open the gates of Hades and obtain the seas of treasure therein. It acted as an introduction both to the climatic endgame we’ll face at the end of the movie, and to Dastardly, who uses the same disguise trick he used as the Barbie cop when he stole the first one in South America. 

(They actually DID plan to use this as Dastardly’s intro, but cut this… 3 minute scene for time. Yeah. See below video for the details - honestly think they should have kept it in. Saves time later and definitely more show than tell, compared to what we got)

I feel like that would be a better introduction to him than the one we got - hell, it would have fit in quite neatly after the revamped theme song montage. They could have the scene with Dastardly finding/stealing the first skull as an introduction (as above), then have him answer a call or something. Exposit openly “You found the key! Excellent! Now where are we going next?” 

THEN cut to the diner/coffee shop scene we had earlier. We still wouldn’t know exactly what the key was/entailed off the bat, and they could still have FD&V find out on their own - maybe by hacking the little robot instead? IDK.

---

The final skull is on Messick Mountain.

Cute.

On a side note, I do love how Dastardly’s ship interior looks - very dieselpunk

---

Velma just hacked into Dynomutt… somehow, and I finally get my wacky Dynomutt shenanigans!  Hazoo!

...sadly that was really dang brief. Realistic, yes, but still too brief. 

---

Eyyyy, we finally get the whys of why Scooby is needed! … really dang fast. 

Also Fred says Jinkies. 

----

Hey, Muttley popped up! In a shrine… to his demise… that we find out he reached when Dastardly pushed him forward into the Underworld to steal the treasure of Alexander the Great in a portal he rigged up… only for both of them to find out it was a one-way deal unless they used the key to be able to come back. The key, of course, being Scooby Doo, descendent of Peritas, Alexander’s dog. 

Eh, workable enough-ish. It’s interesting to see that Dastardly, despite how much he disliked Muttley in the older cartoons, still cares about him to a certain extent. 

---

Pfff, Fred’s a poor man’s Hemsworth XD

---

Sweet, we’re in ‘Journey to the Center of the Earth’ now!

---

Um

O W W W

You guys really had to do the ‘me or them’ thing with Shaggy and Scooby… and tHeN hAvE sCoObY cHoOsE tHe FaLcONs?!? Just because they said he was important as “the key” and gave him a spandex costume.

Over at least 7 years of friendship. 

Booooooooooooo

---

actually no I’m Not Done Yet

This whole scene is a mess.

Like

Shaggy’s turn was really dang fast… but I can still see how he gets to it. It’s at least a day between Scooby being chosen as a pseudo-sidekick and the island arrival, during which Shaggy’s talk with the main adult (who has taken up the mantle of his favorite superhero) essentially confirms his feelings of worthlessness and leaves him to stew for HOURS on end (on top of another adult, Dastardly, who also calls him “not even REMOTELY important” at the carnival before freaKING SHOOTING HIM THROUGH THE CEILING NO I AM NOT OVER THIS). Tie that to a teenager who also believes his only friends have come to think he’s meaningless baggage, and suddenly his entire support system is vanishing underneath him to one of his former idols without ANY sign of hesitation from Scooby’s part (with the exception of the collar scene, but I don’t think that that means the same to Scooby, given how quickly he bounces back)

Scooby tho… hrm. It could be that he’s clinging to the good feelings Brian Falcon inspires in him (by choosing him as the next possible Dynomutt), as a way to overpower how FD&V hurt him, while also building on how he came to love the duo because SHAGGY loved them so much. But the movie doesn’t frame that up… at all?? At least compared to Shaggy. 

Idk, maybe I’m missing something, but this scene is a mess through and through

Boooooo

----

Scooby: *tries to leap into Brian Falcon’s arms like he did with Shaggy but falls*

Brian: Uh, what are you doing?

Scooby: Rhaggy never missed. 

Damn straight he didn’t

---

oh hey, it’s Captain Caveman

I was wondering when we’d see him.

---

AAAUUGGHH

It’s that blink-and-you’ll-miss-it scene from the trailers I sobbed over - the one with Shaggy holding Scooby’s collar

Fun fact it actuALLY FADES INTO THE FLASHBACK

THAT WAS NOT A TRAILER THING THAT’S ACTUALLY HERE IN THE MOVIE

OW

---

Oh No

Fred is here, alone, after that whole scene with Dastardly saying he had a use for Fred

...while that’s likely Dastardly in a Fred suit (that sounds creepy just typing it), I’m still going to enjoy this brief but absolutely lovely hug Shaggy and Fred share...

(seriously tho, look at this, it’s a genuinely close, squish-your-lungs-out kind of hug, I love it)

...as well as Shaggy, who's still hurt from his fight with Scooby, immediately gearing up to go help him after hearing Dastardly’s trying to kidnap him.

----

Brian Falcon and Scooby Doo now have to take on Captain Caveman in gladiatorial combat in order to claim the final skull of Cerberus

I love cartoons sometimes

----

Captain Caveman just put the smackdown on Brian Falcon and punched him into the ground up to his CHEST

Then smacked him so far into a wall he cracked the stone around him!

GodDAMN is this satisfying 😆 altho minor question here: how did he gain the rank of Captain? Do cavepeople have a naval force?

---

He just whirled Scooby around his head, then spun him so fast his costume broke off

I may have to look into some Captain Caveman stuff now, that’s fantastic

---

Shaggy and Fred - sorry, “Fred” -  just smashed through to the colosseum in the Mystery Machine

And Dynomutt just fired missiles at Captain Caveman to smash him into an Amigara-shaped hole of himself

I REALLY love cartoons sometimes

---

Oh No

Just as Shaggy starts trying to apologize, “Fred” kicks him in the back, rips off his disguise to normal Dastardly self, and kidnaps Scooby atop the skull, before revealing he destroyed the Falcon Fury jet

New tagline for this movie? Shaggy Rogers and the Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Day

...at least the rest of the gang is back together?

---

Brian Falcon: *Immediately tries to blame Shaggy for inadvertently leading Dastardly to them, while storming up to get in his face*

Fred: *upon realizing BrianF is blaming Shaggy for everything, without a SINGLE moment’s hesitation, immediately leaps in to defend Shaggy and physically push back Brian Falcon several feet*

We stan one Himbo, theydies and gentlethem

Also?

Velma (sneering): What kind of hero blames other people for his problems? *Walks over to comfort Shaggy with Daphne, while Shaggy looks dumbfounded they’re defending him bc he also blames himself for Scooby’s kidnapping*

This. This right here, is the kind of Mystery gang content I wanna see.

I don’t care how the rest of this movie goes now, this scene right here is ambrosia to the Scooby fan’s soul, and therefore makes this entire movie worth it, outdated memes, lingo, and all

---

Cackling rn - Fred and Brian Falcon are in a point-off a la the Spiderman meme 😂

or, more specifically, the post-credits sequence of Spiderverse where they’re arguing about who started pointing first

It gets better when Velma and Daphne try to pull each other off of their pushing fight, and Velma grumbles “Toxic Masculinity” I’m crying

---

WOAH

More super Shaggy stuff here (apart from being flung through a building roof without a scratch) - he pushes apart both groups effortless, and even knocks them back several feet

If we estimate Dynomutt as… we’ll say 450 since he’s made of metal, Falcon at 220, Dee Dee at 160, that’s about 830 lbs on one side

Then Fred, Daphne and Velma on the other (hmm, 180, 150, 130?) would be around 460 lbs

Dang boi

---

Oh honey no, it’s not your fault

But dang if he didn’t get a good message from it, one I’ve done my best to transcribe here:

“I was afraid that... things were gonna change. And they did change. But like, that’s okay! People can grow. But it doesn’t mean that we’re growing apart. Because the one thing that will never change is that Scooby Doo is my best friend! Ten years ago, a little boy made a promise to a stray puppy that he’d never leave him no matter what. And I’m gonna keep that promise! Now it’s time we stopped that mustachioed menace from opening the gates to the {underworld} and letting loose that fearsome {Cerberus}. So what do you say we get out {of here}, and go get my always-snacking, never-lacking, often-napping dog back? Who’s with me?”

Honestly not a bad message for kids. Things will change, people will change, but that doesn’t mean you have to stop being friends. (Obvs real life exceptions apply, but that’s not a bad note honestly)

...shame that that conclusion comes right the FUCK outta nowhere

Like

How, exactly, did he come to this conclusion? WHEN? What inspired him to realize this, what was the impetus for this specific line of thought, that it’s okay for friends to change?

It kinda feels like this should have been either the happy ending speech given after they’ve saved the world, or one at the start of the third act, like if Shaggy arrives when Scooby thinks he’s chased him away and ruined everything, and Shaggy & the gang still save him. And Scooby asks him why he did that - when Scooby tried to change himself to fit what Brian Falcon wanted, instead of treasuring the friend he still had, or maybe why Shaggy reacted the way he did. THEN Shaggy gives the speech we hear, a la:

“I yelled at you because… like, because I was scared. I was scared that... things were gonna change. And they did change. But like, that’s okay! People can grow. But it doesn’t mean that we’re growing apart. Because the one thing that will never change is that YOU’RE my best friend! Ten years ago, a little boy made a promise to a stray puppy that he’d never leave him no matter what. And I mean to keep it!” 

At least that would make a little more sense to me. Again, not a bad speech, but a little rearranging would help to really hit home. 

---

Okay, now we’re back with Dastardly in Greece, and suddenly the background people all look MILES better than the ones at the start of the movie. Did they just forget to polish the first two minutes of film, what the heck?

Also, Dastardly’s ship is literally the entire length of the Greek ruins presented o_O

---

HOLY SHIT THE SKULLS TURNED BACK TIME AND MADE THE RUINS INTO AN ENTIRELY RESTORED PALACE WITH THE GATES OF THE UNDERWORLD BEFORE THEM

They’re also colored a very atmospheric neon arrangement that’s surprisingly quite tasteful ^.^

----

The Mystery Machine can fly now!!! eeheeheeeheeheeheeheeee

----

And so we finally see Cerberus, a massive, towering figure with sharp teeth and pffffffhahahhahaa why are all three heads wearing Spartan helmets

To its credit, they’re also wearing basic body armor, wrist guards, tail spikes, etc, but the helmets are killing me 🤣 who thought to stick that onto the dog? Did Hades forget to remove the armor after winning the Gods’ Pet Costume Contest, or was it like that horse in the ATV costume - it felt safer so it didn’t let anyone take it off?

Or was this a precaution against Herakles coming back? These are questions - hilarious, hilarious questions 😁

---

Awww. Scooby immediately runs to the battered Mystery Machine to rip the doors open for the gang!

And… wait. THIS is where that wonderful hug was in the trailers? I thought that was at the end of the movie when everyone was safe!

This now does not bode well. But we’ll worry about that later. Time to enjoy this gorgeous wonderful hug of the entire gang, and Shag and Scoob apologizing to each other for fighting 🥰

Yet another scene to make the rest of this movie worth the rest

(halfway wanna frame this shit and put it on the wall, it’s that lovely)

----

Fantastic! Dastardly is now in Hell, where I’ve been wishing him this entire movie! :D

And dang… he actually apologizes to what he believes is a dead Muttley. Who is, naturally, snickering at all of this. The two bicker predictably, but eventually hug and make up, too happy to see each other to resort to old habits. Honestly a nice little scene, all-in-all. 

---

Back to the gang and they’re doing the glowy eyes in the dark bit! I actually haven’t seen that in a Scooby movie forever, it’s neat.

Also Fred is now going full Liam Neeson over his van, war paint and all, using the tire cover as a shield and… holy shit. 

HOLY SHIT

THE ASCOT IS BAAAnnnnnd it’s gone. Boy, that was… short. 

Fred just ran full-tilt at Cerberus, screaming like a mad man, before getting flicked away by its big toe, and losing the ascot and makeshift shield. It punched so hard his facepaint came off

It was fun while it lasted y’all

---

Heyyy, Shag and Scoob just came up with the plan, and it’s actually solid! I’m so proud, and so is the rest of the gang! Also willingly going to distract Cerberus while the rest figure out how to close the gate and stuff Cerberus back in

I love my boys 😊

---

Annnnd there goes Brian Falcon like the coward he is

To… call his dad? And admit he isn’t a hero.

Only for Dynomutt to point out Shaggy and Scooby are taking him on and are terrified. 

This then cuts to Shaggy and Scooby running around in a chariot and gladiator wear, running back and forth a la the door gag from Cerberus to the OG SDWAY theme

I think I love this movie

(although they’re hinting at Dynomutt being resentful of OG Blue Falcon essentially abandoning him to his incompetent son, and I really wish it had been touched upon more

that’s actually rather heartbreaking, when you stop to think about it, and there’s a lot that could be done with an additional two minutes of screentime) 

---

Huh, another good message for kids: it’s okay to fail and be scared, so long as you keep going and try to do what’s right.

Two good messages for kids in one movie. Not too shabby, on the whole. 

---

Brian Falcon just flew in and punched the three-headed dog, then jumped into its mouth as it tried to eat Scooby, resisted the MASSIVE JAW STRENGTH, and got them out of there safe and sound

Finally, something heroic!

-- 

I was wondering where Dastardly and Muttley got off to - apparently they’re off to take a money bath.

Aight

---

Shag and Scoob have now convinced the Rotten Robots to turn into bowling balls to knock Cerberus off their feet a la the classic marbles pratfall back into the underworld

That is a sentence I just wrote

----

OH FCUK NO

NO

ABSOLUTELY NOT NO

YOU ARE TELLING US THAT AFTER ALL OF THIS - ALL OF THIS - ONE OF THEM HAS TO STAY IN THE UNDERWORLD TO LOCK THE GATE

THAT OCTOBER LEAKER WAS RIGHT WHAT THE HELL

LITERALLY SO

I mean i know its a kids film specifically Scooby Doo so happy ending but what the literal FUCK

---

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUGGHHH

SHAGGY NOOOO

“Buddy, back when we were kids, you saved me. Now, it’s my turn.”

and he dOES THIS WHILE HOLDING SCOOBY’S HEAD TENDERLY IN HIS HANDS

AND WHEN EVERYTHING REVERTS IT’S JUST RUBBLE AND RUIN AND SCOOBY’S LEFT SOBBING OPENLY AT NOTHING

AND THE GANG ALL COME TO CLING AT HIM AND CRY OVER THEIR FRIEND WHO THOUGHT HE WAS WORTHLESS MOST OF THE MOVIE AND THOUGH THAT THE GANG THOUGHT THE SAME ABOUT HIM

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHH

---

WELP, TIME TO COPE WITH INAPPROPRIATE HUMOR

Shaggy: I yelled at my dog, got him kidnapped, and ended up helping the bad guy to open the gates to Hell. Guess I’ll die. 

Dee Dee: Well actually, this is more Dastardly’s fault because -

Shaggy, yelling as he slams his hand against the lock: GUESS I’LL DIE!!!

----

Ah, so the writers wrote themselves into a corner, and the only way out was a Deus Ex Machina (at least, I think I’m using that term correctly…) 

Because to get Shaggy back, a giant statue of Alexander the Great and Peritas appears out of nowhere - literally, since it definitely wasn’t there before - with an inscription Scooby has to read to get Shaggy back.

This would have been a lot more effective if we’d seen it when Dastardly arrived in Greece - maybe even as the marker for where the gate to the Underworld was. Have Alexander facing one way, and Peritas facing the other. You open the gate on Alexander’s side, and come home on Peritas’ side. Having this unfold into the gate gives it more purpose than “magically appears right the fcuk outta nowehere” and you could have a pun with the “backdoor” escape. Everybody wins!

And if that’s too good for ya, how about a brief lingering shot by it at some point as Dastardly flies into Greece, behind where the gate materializes, or directly across from it on the plaza? Maybe have one of the gang kick it after Shaggy leaves, and say ‘This is all your fault! Why would you make something like this?’

It’d still be a magical contrivance, but at least it would make some fcuking SENSE.

(Granted it DID lead to this hilariously ominous shot, so maybe I shouldn’t complain:)

---

Velma: I finally figured out what you guys are! You’re the heart of Mystery Inc.

Me: YEAH BABY! *flips over table* I’VE BEEN SAYING THAT SHIT FOR YEARS AND NOW, I’M FCUKING VALIDATED AT LAAAAAAAAST!

----

Shaggy: *rips off Dastardly’s face to reveal…*

ALL: SIMON COWELL??!?

Me, choking on food: I’m sorry WHAT?!?!?

Velma: *takes off mask again to reveal*

ALL: DICK DASTARDLY?!?

Dastardly: Drat! No one ever goes for the double unmasking. 

So I was right all along - Simon Cowell truly was a Dick this entire time.

-----

And so we close on the gang unveiling a Mystery Machine paint job on their official detective agency building, Brian Falcon living the good life as the DJ at their party, the Falcon team gifting a sleek new Mystery Machine to the gang (which honestly looks pretty unique - it’s not the classic, but it is something new that isn’t awful, so kudos there), and the gang on their way to another mystery.

So, at the end of the day is this a good Scooby movie? 

Meh? *waves hand in meh motion* But it definitely had its moments. 

This Scooby film is flawed as heck, no doubt about it - the plot has a MAJOR problem with telling instead of showing, some parts feeling out of order or WAY too short, and of course the deus ex machina ending. I honestly would have loved some more time for their first mystery as kids, where we actually got more character moments/bonding from Fred, Daphne, and Velma as they solved it the more traditional route, as well as not framing FD&V as super duper mystery solvers right off the bat??? 

The stuff with Blue Falcon isn’t AWFUL, per se, but it is ridiculously satisfying to see him get smacked around. Captain Caveman was honestly one of the funniest bits in the movie, same with Dynomutt. 

As far as the character stuff? It all felt fairly natural, progression-wise. Shag and Scoob don’t have this big break-up with the gang - they’re hurt by the literal Dickhead’s comments the gang don’t speak up against, and go to blow off some steam together. Shag and Scoob don’t have this giant blow-up argument - it builds over the film into a hurt spat they both recognize they overreacted to almost immediately. The gang (FDV) go looking for them almost as soon as they leave, and, upon hearing they’re in danger, turn and head towards them to save them, realizing how important the two are to Mystery Inc along the way. They defend each other, help each other, have some of the Best Dang Animated Mystery Inc hugs I ever did see - THIS feels more like the Gang I’ve been waiting for forever to come back to DTV (and in a rough sense, did). While I do wish we’d gotten more screen time of FD&V, what we got wasn’t too bad. 

Weirdly enough, at the end of the day, I’ve actually grown more accustomed to Forte’s Shaggy - it feels like it fits this different style a touch more than I originally thought, and holy hell if I didn’t come close to tears at that ending gate scene, he knocked that one out of the park.  Velma still doesn’t feel much like Velma, but I did get used to it by the end. I kept cracking up at Efron’s Fred, and no complaints on Seyfried’s Daphne.

Jason Isaacs as Dick Dastardly absolutely killed it. Blue Falcon Crew was okay (excepting Mark “The Racist” Wahlburg - it was just him talking, no real effort. You could recognize Wahlburg right off the bat, acting as a goofy douche) and freaking Captain Caveman was awesome. Apparently they combined both Billy West and Don Messick’s recordings for Muttley (awesome!!!), so this may very well be Don Messick’s final role in a Scooby Doo film. 

It got off to a rough start, but ended well enough. The animation was solid, the writing has some unexpectedly clever and funny moments sprinkled throughout, with some pretty fun action sequences on the side. Watching this, I really do believe that the people working on it love Scooby Doo and all things Hanna-Barbera… at least in their own way. 

I ended up buying this instead of just renting it ($5 more, why not) and I am honestly glad I did so. Despite its flaws, it has some great moments with the gang as friends, and I have been Craving That Shit for DECADES

And if these writers/directors ever did another Scooby film? I think I’d be up for giving them a chance - at least so long as we got some more absolutely BEAUTIFUL hugs with the gang

I hope you enjoyed this stream-of-consciousness reaction to SCOOB! (2020)... a whole ass year LATER, admittedly (I didn’t switch my Save Post to Queue, curse my hubris), but hopefully y’all’ve been entertained. Good night everybody!

[neotericbitch]

this was a start of something that then got derailed and i abruptly stopped. but what a waste of words if i don’t share it, you know??

There’s peace to be found in Valkyrie Cain’s house. It’s not immediately obvious, it doesn’t jump out at you, nor does it leave a trail behind to be followed. There’s no map to it, one just...finds it. They carve it out for themselves, or it comes to them. There’s the definite impression that the house doesn’t hand out its peace to just anyone who walks these halls; the peace is earned, and that’s what makes it special, makes it an extra peaceful sort of peace, the peacefullest peace, and now the word peace feels weird so Omen sits for a second thinking of a substitute.

Calm. Yes, it’s calm here, and he appreciates it all the more these days.

Omen sits up straight and cranes his neck from side to side, links his fingers together and stretches his arms up high above his head. Something in his left shoulder cracks and he has a moment of mild panic, and he reaches behind his back and pats for injuries, feeling nothing but his own hand inelegantly pawing around. Omen places his hands on his knees and looks down at the coffee table in front of him.

It’s more paper than table, really; nothing more than the vague idea of a structure, something holding all this mess up off the ground. The surface is completely covered by an array of spread-out old newspapers, held down to the edges with some strips of clear tape. There are two chopping boards over here on Omen’s side of the table, one wooden and one acrylic, the latter serving as the designated space for putting his failed scraps of paper, the former he uses as a base for his homework – because of course he forgot his own board back at Corrival, like an idiot.

No, Omen, not like an idiot, he tells himself. Like a forgetful teenager, which he is allowed to be. Yes.

Although Omen doesn’t know anything about paper quality, he thinks this cardstock is pretty alright – much better than the printer paper that occupies the other side of the coffee table, at least. The card puts up a good fight against his carving knife, which needs to be sharpened and more resembles an implement for spreading butter at the present time, but Omen thinks this is good for the time being. All his cuts are slowly and carefully made, kind of janky where the blade gets caught but probably better than what he’d manage with fast slashes. Those can get...pretty bad.

Another positive thing about his crappy carving knife is that he feels better using it around Alice than he would a sharp one. Not that he’d ever leave it where she could get it, not that he’d ever let her have a close look, not that he’d ever not practise expert knife safety – but, y’know. One of those things.

He jabbed his index finger about forty-five minutes ago and was so relieved when there wasn’t any blood.

As he hunkers over to get back into it, it’s Alice’s turn to straighten up. She puts down the colouring pencils she’s been dual-wielding and shuffles over to the couch – she’s been sitting on the floor, leaving an iPad of indeterminate owner to sit next to Omen, which Alice takes now and fiddles with until the Frozen 2 soundtrack stops playing. There’s the metal tinkling of a dog collar as Xena lifts her head, looking to see what Alice is doing from where she’s laid herself halfway underneath the table. Early Taylor Swift starts playing and Alice returns to her space at the table. 

Xena settles and lets out a big sigh, not her first one for the day, and Omen again wonders for how long could dogs do that and how had he not known, why had no one told him, and what does it mean? Do dogs sigh for the same reasons as people?

He puts this piece of card over on the failure board and gets another, swapping his knife back for a pencil. It’s a yellow one from Alice’s collection that she’s allowed him to borrow, citing it as being too bright, and he uses it now to draw out the same sigil design for, what, the millionth time? This part is easy, it’s been easy for the whole set he’s been working on up until now. Omen can draw the sigils like the best of them – though not really, he has to remind himself to keep from getting a big head – but the drawing isn’t the purpose of the exercise, it’s the carving. He’s still thankful that he’s allowed to trace the way he has been doing, even if it really doesn’t feel like it’s been helping him any.

Alice taps him on the arm twice after he’s finished drawing, immediately withdrawing back into her own space and gathering her hands in her lap. She’s been quiet today. Omen hasn’t known what to do except occasionally look over at her and feel bad, not having a clue on how to comfort little kids – or okay, maybe not comfort, but, reassure? Something like that. Anyway, he almost fully turns to her now, making his eyes wide in the belief that it’ll come across as super accommodating and non-threatening.

“Hey,” says Omen awkwardly. “What’s up?”

She points across the table, to the scraps on the acrylic board. “Can I colour those?”

“Oh! Yeah, sure, let me just–” Omen gathers the scraps up into his hands and sets them down with Alice’s printer paper. “There.”

She examines the little cardstock squares. There’s dozens upon dozens, many test runs and failures from his work over the day. Omen looks at the stack of completed carvings he set at the top corner of the wooden board and sags at how few there are. So much waste for so little work. But Alice doesn’t seem to think of it as waste at all, not as she looks through them and sticks her little fingers through some of the cuts in the paper.

“Are you making snails?”

Omen blinks rapidly as he tries to process this – kids are on a different level. He looks down at the collection of half-carved sigil drawings and attempts to find something snail-like about them. One of the designs is heavily reliant on spirals. Is it the spirals? It could be the spirals.

“Uh, no,” he says. “They’re like,” he pauses to think, “kind of like letters? It’s for one of my classes.”

“What language is it?” asks Alice, setting to work filling between the lines of one of the sigils with a nice powdery blue. She sounds brighter already, at the very least more eager to talk – not looking at Omen probably makes it easier. “Is it a magic language?”

“I don’t know,” he badly lies.

“Oh.”

Silence passes, and Omen shivers at a nonexistent breeze. “It’s like a code,” he offers.

“Oh,” Alice says again, though in a completely different way. She finishes with the powdery blue and starts filling in gaps with a pale green. She nods at the card in a most knowledgeable manner as she reveals, “I know about codes.”

It must be a good thing that she’s talking to him now, right? She’d been looking distracted today, focused elsewhere, on something beyond her own drawings. Maybe nothing at all. And that had worried Omen a bit. Like, Omen likes Alice, she’s a good kid, he doesn’t want her to be sad or anything. He’d have struck up a conversation with her to see if it would help, it’s just that he doesn’t know how to be friends with a kid. What’s even a good thing to say to a kid? Valkyrie’s rule – magic is okay to mention, but not demonstrate – stresses Omen out enough. He worries he’ll say or do the wrong thing and ruin Alice forever. More than he already has.

“What codes do you know about?” asks Omen.

Alice lifts her head and taps her chin for a moment, then shrugs and goes back to colouring in another sigil. “My dad can speak pig latin, he’s really good at it. That means I must be good at it, too.” She meets his eye, looking a little chuffed. “I’m good at lots of things.”

“I bet!” Oh god that sounded so fake.

But Alice beams, and Omen breathes a sigh of relief. Perhaps that’s the trick he’s gotta use – kids respond well to exaggeration, don’t they?

Alice goes on, “I’m going to be so good at whatever I want when I’m a grown-up. That’s what Stephanie says.”

“She’s right! You’ll be great, whatever you do!” Okay now this is a bit much. Omen sucks in a breath and tries to tone it down, tilting his head at the girl. “What, er. What do you want to do, Alice?” Because that’s something you ask kids, yeah? He gets asked it all the time.

...he used to. He used to get asked it all the time. No one asks him much of anything anymore.

“I want to do magic,” admits Alice a bit shyly, and Omen realises this is like a big moment for her and he shouldn’t get so caught up in his moping. “I think about it loads, and I know exactly what I’ll do! I’ll have a big wand with a star on top, and I’ll have fairy wings and definitely be able to fly, and when I wave my wand at someone they have to do what I say.” She turns one of her pencils in her hand, trying to find a good spell-casting position, miming fancy flourishes. “I’ll make shooting stars with my hands, and people can wish on them but I’m in charge of what wishes actually happen.”

He nods along dumbly. “Rad.”

Alice feels the same way. She climbs up to her feet. “I’ll show you. I’ll do like this.” She waves the pencil at Xena, who lifts her head, ears pricked and tail starting to wag. “Xena,” Alice says. “Stand up.”

The dog obeys, fully coming out from under the table. She looks between Alice and Omen expectantly, like playtime is about to begin – which Omen dreads. But when Alice tells Xena to sit again, she does, and now they’re cycling through all sorts of tricks. Roll over, shake hands. The whole arsenal. It’s very impressive, but Alice grows bored with the demonstration soon enough and wants to keep colouring. She retakes her place on the floor, only now with Xena lying beside her with her head on her leg.

Omen clicks his tongue against his teeth and looks towards the entryway to the living room. He puts his hands back on his knees and rocks himself into a stand.

“I think I’m gonna go look for your sister,” he tells Alice. “Are you okay staying here?”

“Yes,” replies Alice mindlessly, before snapping her head up at him. Panic swims in her eyes. “You’re not going to tell on me, are you?”

Omen balks. “Tell on you for what?”

“Doing magic,” she cries. “I want to wait until I’m really good before showing Stephanie.” She points her pencil at him with utmost seriousness. “Don’t tell Stephanie!” Alice commands.

He raises his hands defensively, eyebrows shot up as far as they can go. “Hey, it’s cool. I won’t.”

“You better not!”

“I won’t, Alice, I said it’s cool!”

She seems satisfied with this, and returns to drawing little stars around one of his sigils. Xena doesn’t lift her head, but she looks at Omen with her dog eyes, with a very...doggish look. You know how sometimes a dog’ll look at you and you know they’re thinking something? Omen feels like he’s been looked at that way by many a dog. He offers his hands to Xena, speaking quietly, almost as if he’s afraid of addressing her. Not in a scared-of-dogs sort of way, more in a scared-of-librarians way, but now that Omen is thinking about it he figures dogs are kind of like librarians. A silent authority.

“You stay there,” he says. “Good girl. I’ll be right back.”

“She only listens to me,” Alice claims without looking up.

Omen doesn’t know what to say to this, so he just turns and heads out of the living room.

The strange, special peace of Valkyrie Cain’s house slowly returns to him as he makes his way through it. It’s not quite an exploration, as he’s been here before and has a general idea of what goes where, but it’s definitely not a search either, he moves much too unhurriedly. He thinks maybe he shouldn’t, maybe he should hurry. Maybe the reason why Valkyrie’s been gone for so long is that something terrible happened, there’s some monster or serial killer loose in the house–

Omen takes in a deep breath and squares his shoulders. There is not a monster or serial killer loose in the house, he very calmly tells himself. Something terrible has not happened. Valkyrie has been gone only twenty minutes. Maybe she’s in the toilet. Omen pulls a face at the thought; in the toilet for twenty minutes, you fool? You think Valkyrie Cain gets constipated? You think she wouldn’t have that worked out? Flustered at his own line of thinking, Omen needs to rapidly decide what she’s been up to. Valkyrie’s been– she’s been... He catches his reflection in a mirror, and the peace has fully evaporated once more.

“Avoiding you, probably,” he mutters. “You stupid git.”

She must have only let him hang out here out of pity. She must’ve read his message and scoffed at how pathetic he is. What kind of guy wants to do his homework at barely an acquaintance’s house? What kind of guy can’t handle the school library by himself anymore?

Perhaps because that’s what he is; by himself, most unavoidably. Unwanted wherever he goes, promoted from dumb idiot friend and brother to an even dumber idiot third wheel. A useless lump of a person with no aspirations, all the more useless now that the world is done with his family. What he’d give to be there for his brother in this time, to help him through it – but that spot’s taken for Auger, and resultantly empty for Omen.

He points at himself. “You need to quit whining,” he nearly snaps. “And you need to stop being so hard on yourself. You dumb– fucking…”

Omen has a little sit in the hallway for a few minutes, fists pressed against his mouth as he looks at the weird and wonderful design of the rug. In fact, he can spot a few sigils weaved in there, that’s pretty cool. Did Valkyrie pick out this rug? Was it a gift? It’s in good condition but it’s probably pretty old – the faint smell helps attest to that. Maybe her uncle had more to do with this rug than she did, or maybe it was here way before either of them. Who knows! The mystery of the rug.

Gordon Edgley, Omen assumes, probably loved Valkyrie very much. Certainly enough to leave her this big house and its peace. It would be nice to be loved, to be left something. To have peace. He gets up.

Valkyrie is one floor higher, in a slightly unkempt yet clearly underused office. She stands at the desk, a journal splayed open on its surface as she takes pictures of the pages on her phone, sending them off somewhere. Omen watches her do this for a minute, wondering if he’s become good at sneaking around; thinking perhaps she hasn’t noticed him.

“You right there, Omen,” Valkyrie eventually says without looking up, not asking a question as much as she is crushing his dreams of stealth.

He sags and takes one step into the office, but comes no further than that. “I was just, ah… I just thought– I thought, you’d been gone a little while. Alice might be missing you. Or something.”

Valkyrie stuffs her phone in her back trouser pocket, then immediately takes it out again to check the time on the lock screen before putting it back. “Should get her home before long.”

Omen reverses back into the hallway. “Oh, yeah, um. I’ll leave soon, too.”

She fully turns around, leaning against the desk, and actually, properly looks at him now. Looks and sees, maybe even comprehends. Not likely on that last one, though; no pity has crossed her face yet. “Yeah, if you want. But no rush, Omen, you can chill here as long as you need.”

His first instinct is to argue for something he doesn’t even want. He clasps his hands behind his back instead. “Thanks.”

She folds her arms over her chest and tilts her head to the side. “You sure you’re alright?” He hadn’t said he was. “You seem a bit lost, there.”

“Oh, you know.” Omen fidgets and tries for a joking tone, “Aren’t we all?”

Valkyrie nods sagely, reaching to the desk behind her to close the journal. “Wise words, Darkly.”

Something about this little exchange has made him feel better. Maybe it’s this new, more positive energy that Valkyrie is radiating, how she smiles unbidden at her phone when it buzzes at her for something. Omen almost feels comfortable enough to attempt a more meaningful discussion, but there really is no easy opener for any of what he has on his mind, nor a point to saying any of it aloud. Despite this good mood she’s been in, she probably wouldn’t care in the slightest.

Which is fine, because she is a grown woman with her own life and her own problems, Omen is sure to tell himself.

Valkyrie pockets her phone again and straightens up, exits the office and starts going down the hallway. Omen watches her, and she must hear that he’s not following because she glances back and waves him over.

“Get with the program,” she says sharply, but with good humour. “When I was your age and people started walking away, I knew it was time,” she snaps her fingers, “to get fuckin’ moving.”

“Sorry,” says Omen as he hurries up beside her. “Am I annoying you? I’m probably just getting in your way.”

She looks at him and laughs. “I just asked you to follow me! Relax, Omen, you know I like you.”

“Right, gotcha. Thank you.”

“Some of the time.”

He blinks. Valkyrie nudges him with her elbow.

“More than some of the time,” she says like she’s paying him a compliment.

“Ha,” Omen replies, feeling bolstered but still kind of stumbling on his next words, “I guess there’s times where I can stand you, too.”

Valkyrie’s laugh is a roll of thunder. “You cheeky fucker!”

they were gonna come back to alice and see that she’d started colouring in omen’s proper, completed homework sigils and accidentally activated one (just a little glowy thing, nothing dangerous), and after taking her home valkyrie was gonna ask omen about it and he was gonna tell her about what alice said about doing magic – but then it’d turn out that he literally can’t. when she waves her wand at someone they have to do what she says.

i also wanted to explore valkyrie and omen being friends now that valkyrie’s up for it. she’s taking pictures of werewolf entries in gordon’s books and sending them on to skulduggery, fyi, then smiling when he texts back a joke or some shit. valdug was gonna have a werewolf adventure. and ofc omen dealing with post-prophecy angst.

but alice accidentally doing magic!! HOOH BOYy

maybe i’ll try in comic form.

[writethehousedown]

And The Livin's Easy, Chapter Six (Multi) - Zyan

a/n: SHE’S HERE! i’m sorry for the wait, but she’s here. :D god, i’m already getting emotional. another fic comes to an end. i hope you’ve enjoyed the ride! i’ll try to have the seventh chapter out by the weekend. a million thanks to frey for putting up with me, and the jankie candle gc for screaming at me to finish this! love you guys. 💕

“Y’know, second place isn’t all that bad,” Scarlet comments, taking a spoonful of ice cream. Yvie hums in response, sipping on her watermelon smoothie.

It’s been a few hours since the competition ended, and Yvie managed to get second place, with Jaida winning the competition. They were sitting at the beach, sprawled in Scarlet’s blanket, eating ice cream as they watched the sunset.

“At least I got a trophy,” Yvie says, reaching for the small second place plastic trophy she’d been given and chuckling slightly. It’s not what she wanted, but at least she made it to the top three. It bruises her pride a little, though, since she won last year. But there’s always the next summer.

“And, as a consolation prize, you get a dinner with me and the finest burritos on the whole island,” Scarlet adds with a wink. Yvie laughs wholeheartedly, it sure sounds like a good plan.

“That sounds even better than the first place prize,” Yvie says earnestly, and Scarlet coos. She’s never been particularly cheesy, but she just can’t help it when she’s around Scarlet. The girl wears her heart on her sleeve and doesn’t hesitate to make cheesy jokes and comments; she’s sickeningly sweet, and Yvie tries her best to reciprocate those feelings.

Yvie looks at Scarlet — really looks at her, taking in her red hair glowing under the dying Sun, her porcelain-like skin, and pouty lips. She doesn’t think she’s seen someone this gorgeous before, and Yvie’s travelled all around the world following her passion.

She notices an ice cream stain in the corner of Scarlet’s mouth, so she brings her thumb to clean it, catching Scarlet’s attention in the process.

“You got something here…” she mumbles absent-mindedly, pulling her thumb away. “There.”

Scarlet musters a thank you, touching where Yvie’s thumb was just moments ago, and suddenly there’s a cheeky smile blooming in her face.

“Y’know, you got something on your face too,” she says, leaning in closer to Yvie’s face, and before Yvie can say anything, Scarlet steals a kiss from her.

It’s quick, but it’s tender, and it makes Yvie melt.

“There,” Scarlet chirps, barely withdrawing her lips.

Yvie hums thoughtfully, knitting her brows in a frown.

“I think now you got something on your face, here.” Yvie closes the distance between them again, and she can feel Scarlet smile against the kiss. This time, it’s slower, much more careful and soft; it makes butterflies fly in Yvie’s stomach, and it reminds her of when she was younger and kissed girls behind the bleachers.

At the back of her brain, Yvie knows it’ll be hard to say goodbye to Scarlet once their time together is over, but she doesn’t want to think much about it, so instead she cups Scarlet’s face and pulls her even closer.

*

Vanessa feels herself spiraling with anxiety.

Kameron couldn’t make it to the competition, but she blew up her phone with encouraging texts and promises of endless kisses and orgasms once they see each other again. A part of Vanessa can’t wait to be back between her arms and pepper her face with kisses, telling her about how much fun she’s had during these weeks and how much she’s missed her.

The other part, however, feels absolutely guilty whenever she remembers Brooke knows about them now, when she thinks of how she’s probably ruined their relationship and regrets ever asking Kameron out.

But, as Crystal said, she’s no one’s property, and she’s free to date whoever she wants, even if it just happens to be her ex’s cousin. They’re free women.

They’re getting together to celebrate Jaida later tonight at April’s hotel room. She knows Brooke will be there, so she takes a vow and decides she’ll talk to her about this and set things straight. They’re grown adults; they should know how to communicate.

Though her bravery goes out the window the moment Crystal declares she’s not coming.

“Gigi asked me out before the competition, and I said yes, because I clearly didn’t know Jaida would win. I’m sorry, Vanj, I can’t cancel it,” she says, sounding truly apologetic as she puts on her lipstick. “Listen, it’s just a little reunion, like that night at the beach. Just try to keep your cool, don’t drink much. and ignore Brooke to the best of your abilities. I believe in you, girl, as long as they don’t play ‘Tusa’ you’ll be fine.” Crystal dismisses it with a wave of her hand, putting down the lipstick.

Vanessa groans, rubbing her eyelids as she flops into the couch in Crystal’s room.

“Glass, I can’t do that and you know it. I have to talk with Brooke Lynn and put an end to this petty shit. Kameron wants me to meet her side of the family and I ain’t about to stand awkward family reunions with Brooke,” Vanessa rants, and Crystal turns her attention to her, cocking one skeptical brow.

“D’you think you’ll be able to do that without ending up screaming at each other?” Crystal inquires, staring intently at Vanessa. She knows her friend like the back of her hand, and it’s a known fact that a petty Vanessa mixed with alcohol can’t end up well. Least of all if her ex is in the same room.

Vanessa takes a deep breath and nods, “I think it’s time I woman up and talk to her like an adult, ‘cause this beef seems like something straight outta some shit rom-com.”

“You love rom-coms, though,” Crystal points out, making Vanessa roll her eyes.

“Well, yeah, but this ain’t ‘The Notebook’. I’m not gonna abandon Kameron for Brooke so we can kiss in the rain,” she replies matter-of-factly, and though Crystal wants to make a witty comment, she desists from it. She sounds dead serious.

She smiles softly, going towards the couch and sitting beside her, placing a hand on her shoulder.

“I’m proud of you, Vanj,” she says earnestly, and Vanessa smiles at her.

“Thanks, Glass. Now, you better get your shit together for that date, ‘cause between the two of us, you’re the one that’s living her Notebook fantasy,” Vanessa jokes, making Crystal laugh loudly as a blush creeps on her cheeks.

*

Gigi is waiting for her outside of Sal’s, wearing a baby blue dress ending above the knee with cloud prints on it and white flats, her auburn hair pulled into a ponytail; a smile breaks onto Crystal’s face, not only because she looks as pretty as always, but also because it seems like Gigi remembered her comment about finding her cute when she’s smaller than her.

They lock eyes when Crystal is near enough and Gigi smiles sweetly at her, standing on her tiptoes to give her a quick kiss.

“How long have you been waiting for me?” Crystal asks, lacing her hand with Gigi’s and guiding her inside.

“Not long; my friend Jan has a date too, I just dropped her off at her girl’s hotel,” Gigi comments innocently, and Crystal hums to let her know she’s listening as she fetches for a table.

They finally find one, near the bar that’s still closed, and settle themselves. Soon a waiter comes by, but because Crystal is already familiar with the entire menu, she places her order on the spot, while Gigi studies the card for a moment.

“You really weren’t lying when you said you know this place by heart,” Gigi giggles, looking back and forth between the menu and Crystal.

Crystal smiles giddily, wondering if she should babble about how this place has endless memories from her childhood and teenage years, holding a special place in her heart, with its menu and staff and Sal himself. She usually doesn’t give too much of herself away to girls she’s never going to see again, but Gigi feels special for some reason. As if she isn’t just a simple summer fling.

So she tells her about the first time she came there without getting into the details, when she was just eight and her gay awakening came in the form of a nice woman that caught her staring at her surfboard and offered to teach her.

Gigi laughs, quipping with her own stories about how she got into fashion — the old Barbie movies seemed to take a great part of the blame, along with making her have a short lived ballet phase.

They share stories, jokes, and dreams for their future, and it’s a whole lot more of what Crystal would give away to someone that’s going to be a stranger in a few weeks, a vague memory as years go by and her face fades from her mind. But the fact Gigi doesn’t think twice before telling her her personal things pushes Crystal to be a bit more open too.

Perhaps this is why she’s becoming a tad too attached to Gigi; none of the girls she’d spent previous summers with cared for her, let alone opened up to her. They would just shoot her messages detailing at which bar or club they would be, or what was their room number.

None of them came to see her at a competition, or texted her weird memes they’d found, sent her videos of weird shit their roommates did during the day, stayed up until the wee hours of the morning texting her or stayed longer after sex.

Gigi is special, and maybe Crystal feels so strongly about her because she hasn’t been on a proper date in a long time, or met someone with whom she just clicked, but it goes without a say that it’ll hurt when they have to part ways.

Though right now, she tries to push that to the back of her brain and act as if they both are there — and the summer is endless and they have a whole life ahead of them.

*

“How long do you think it’ll take until some shit goes down between Vanessa and Brooke?” Monique asks her girlfriend nonchalantly, as she nudges on her drink. Monét laughs, trying to keep it down not to draw attention to them.

There’s definitely some tension in the room, especially between Brooke and Vanessa, that glance at each other when they think no one’s looking. They’re in opposite corners of the room, with Brooke talking with Plastique, who has a smile plastered on her face at all times despite the situation, and Vanessa staying mostly by April’s side, though she drifts to talk with Jaida and the girl she brought —Jan, apparently— from time to time.

Yvie is floating around, striking a conversation with everyone and trying not to interrupt whatever Brooke and Plastique have going on.

Monét and Monique just stay out of the drama, watching everything go down as they snicker and sip on their drinks.

“Three more vodka sodas; give or take a strawberry daiquiri, and you’ll have Vanessa asking for the aux cord to play ‘Tusa’,” Monét replies after quickly scanning the room. Monique laughs in that dorky way that makes Monét’s heart flutter, and she smiles.

“I don’t know, ‘Nét, Crystal’s not here. You know Vanessa doesn’t like strawberry daiquiris unless they’re prepared by her,” Monique adds, thoughtfully. Monét hums in agreement, taking a long sip from her drink.

“Well, whatever happens, happens,” Monét declares with a shrug as Monique snuggles to her side, holding her drink in one hand and her phone in the other.

Before she can say anything, Monique snaps a picture of her as she sips her drink and smiles cheekily at her, planting a kiss on her cheek when she protests.

“Stop complaining, you look cute!” She insists, but Monét rolls her eyes playfully. To Monique, she would look cute freshly woken up, with her hair a complete mess and her face scrunched up in a frown as she takes in the light of the room. Monét finds it adorable and delusional at the same time.

“Of course you say that, you’re my girlfriend. You’re contractually obligated to find me cute,” she jokes, flipping her short hair over her shoulder and earning a playful slap in the arm from Monique.

“Oh, shut up, miss ‘I’ve been pining for you for the last two years and I’ve decided to tell you over fucking Zoom’,” Monique quips back with a shit-eating grin. Monét immediately gets flustered, looking away in embarrassment. It had been almost a year since then, and Monique still likes to rub that in her face whenever she gets the chance.

At that moment, Monét thought it was a good idea — she was spending the summer with her family in Saint Lucia, and Monique was constantly babbling about this girl she’d met during the competition, who ultimately ended up ghosting her. Monét’d been planning to confess her feelings to her, but ultimately they were crashed the moment Monique went on a rant on how girls always left her hanging and she felt like utter shit.

It had been an awkward couple of seconds until Monique admitted she always found her attractive and to hit her up once she was back in New York City.

Several dates later, and there they were, being the bane of their friends existence whenever they got cheesy.

Monique leaves a soft kiss on Monét’s lips as she goes back to snuggling against her, taking another sip from her drink.

They are too wrapped up in their bubble to notice Vanessa is now talking with Brooke, while Plastique absentmindedly sipps on her drink and Jaida and her date are trying to distract her. April is just sitting in the other side of the room, a drink in her hand, as she chats with Yvie, and they steal not-so-subtle glances at the pair.

Monique drags Monét towards Jaida and Plastique, because she’ll be damned if she misses out the drama.

“What’d we miss? We looked away just for a moment!” Monique dramatizes, trying to be subtle. Jaida rolls her eyes playfully.

“They’re trying to be goddamn adults, that’s what they’re doing,” she replies, making Jan giggle.

“At least they’re trying. My friends, Jackie and Nicky, think we don’t know there’s something going on between them, or was going on, at least. They get all weird when we mention it,” Jan babbles, slurring ever so slightly. “I wonder what’re they doing. They stayed at the house with Brita, but Brita apparently has a family dinner or something. I hope they get their shit together,” she continues, and Jaida subtly takes her drink away.

“We’ll keep our fingers crossed for them too,” Monét offers, stealing a glance at Brooke and Vanessa.

*

Jackie finds it horribly convenient that she and Nicky are all alone at the house after all the jokes they had to endure during these weeks.

Of course Gigi and Jan have dates tonight, and of-fucking-course Brita is also out. That leaves just the two of them. All alone in the house, and alone together for the first time in a long while.

Jackie tries not to let the memories of their last time being just the two of them get to her, because they’re on good terms now, right? Things get awkward sometimes, when they’re at the club or some bar or at whatever social gathering that includes alcohol, and Nicky goes after girls with brown wavy hair and glasses that look just an itty bitty bit like Jackie, after she’s had more than a few drinks.

Or when they’re studying together and Jackie hums along the lines of Aya Nakamura’s songs, Nicky’s favorite French singer, and the irony isn’t lost on Jackie how Nicky used to dedicate her the same songs she hums under her breath.

Or when they have sleepovers and Nicky goes to sleep on the complete opposite side of the room, and the memories flood Jackie’s mind. Of lazy mornings, sleepy kisses, and having breakfast in bed despite Jackie’s protests. “You’re going to make a mess and I’m gonna be the one that’ll have to clean up,” she used to say, and Nicky would just shut her up with a kiss and a promise of not doing it again, only to repeat the process the next time she stayed the night.

Sometimes the memories got a little too overwhelming, and in consequence she pushes Nicky away, avoids her in real life and social media, until her old feelings die out again and she can live in peace.

But now that she’s drowning in feelings she thought were buried and memories that make her heart skip several beats, there’s no way of escaping Nicky without making her suspicious.

“How do you fancy pizza from two nights ago for dinner?” Nicky calls out from the kitchen as Jackie sits uneasy in the living room couch, trying to focus on whatever garbage reality show is on. She flicks a few channels again before taking a deep breath and answering.

“Isn’t it pineapple pizza? No, thank you, I prefer cooking,” Jackie tries to sound witty as she replies, vaguely looking at Nicky, who’s perched at the kitchen’s door frame, looking at her intently, before she turns her attention back to the TV.

“That’s a good idea, though. I think there are enough spices to do some shawarma, and there’s some chicken left from when we tried to do chicken tacos,” Nicky trails off, going back into the kitchen. Jackie finally pulls herself off the couch to follow her, worried about Brita’s kitchen.

“Didn’t you burn an egg the other day?” She asks, slightly concerned as she watches Nicky stand on her tiptoes to reach the top shelve.

“I mean, yes, but that was Gigi’s fault! She distracted me,” she complains with a whine. Jackie chuckles softly, coming closer to her.

“Oh, really? How so?” She inquires, trying to sound amused.

“Um, well, she was making some dirty jokes, like she always is,” Nicky explains, her voice coming off as more airy and trembling than it usually is.

Jackie tenses, biting the inside of her cheek. She understands without the need of asking more questions.

“Ah,” she musters, shifting her weight from one foot from another. Nicky lets an excited squeal once she fetches all the spices from the shelve. “Do you want to, uh, do you want help maybe? Just to make sure you don’t burn down the house,” Jackie offers, stumbling with the words a little.

Nicky looks at her over her shoulder. “If you want to.” She shrugs, turning around, perching herself on the counter.

Jackie licks her lips, trying to keep her cool. “Alright.”

She tries their best to stay focused at the task at hand, taking over for the most part and instructing Nicky how much spice to sprinkle or how to cut the chicken, and it’s generally chill; there’s not as much tension as Jackie would’ve expected, but her breath still hitches in her throat when their hands occasionally brush or when either Nicky or her have to perch themselves against the counter so the other can cross the narrow space in the kitchen to get something.

Their proximity makes Jackie clench her jaw, the tips of her fingers itching to reach for Nicky’s face and capture her lips in a long overdue kiss and—

She shouldn’t be thinking about this.

She shouldn’t be thinking of Nicky like that.

Before she notices, they’re ready to fry the spiced chicken, and Jackie is rummaging through the bottom shelves to find a frying pan they can use.

“Nicks, do you remember where Brita said—” She leaves her sentence unfinished, as she turns around just when Nicky was trying to make her way to the end of the counter, so now they’re pressed against each other, face to face.

Nicky looks absolutely flustered, cheeks growing pink with each second that passes. She clears her throat before speaking, not moving an inch.

“What Brita said about what?” She inquires in the same breathy tone as before, and Jackie’s stomach twitches.

“About the frying pans. I’m trying to find one, but, uh, there’s- there’s nothing there,” Jackie manages to stammer out. The scent of Nicky’s perfume is intoxicating, it fills her nostrils and it makes her knees go weak. But she stays firmly put where she is.

Nicky cocks one of her perfectly painted eyebrows, a small smirk appearing on her face as she reaches for something behind Jackie in the counter, their faces being now closer than ever.

“It was right behind you, chérie; I told you I left it there, but you didn’t listen to me, it seems,” Nicky nonchalantly says, shamelessly staring at Jackie’s lips. Her breath is hot against her skin, and Jackie finds herself lost in Nicky’s piercing gaze.

Jackie knows too damn well that the slightest move would cause their lips to brush, and then it’d be game over for her.

She wants to move away, but she’s glued to her position for some unholy reason, just staring at Nicky wordlessly as her breath becomes ragged.

Then, Nicky aims to close the distance between their mouths.

And Jackie turns her face away, with Nicky’s kiss landing on her cheek instead.

There’s an awkward silence as Nicky steps back, seeming absolutely mortified.

“I said, ‘Don’t kiss me until you get your shit together.’ and I stand by that. Don’t make things harder than they already are, Nicky,” Jackie speaks calmly, almost somber. Her skin burns in the spot where Nicky’s lips had been just moments ago, and the tears already start prickling in her eyes.

She can’t believe Nicky could be this cruel.

“Merde, Jackie, I didn’t mean- I wasn’t trying-” Nicky struggles to get a coherent sentence out, and Jackie is already pulling away from her, their closeness too much to bear. “Jackie, listen,” she pleads, and Jackie forces herself to meet Nicky’s gaze.

She seems truly sorry.

“I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t mean- well, I did mean to kiss you. I’ve missed you in every single fucking aspect, but I missed your lips the most. God, how couldn’t I?” Nicky rambles, and Jackie just listens in silence, with her heart pounding against her ribcage so hard she’s sure Nicky can hear it. “And- and I know the reason we broke up is because you couldn’t tolerate my indecisiveness anymore, and I’m sorry. I really am. But do you know why I tried to kiss you?”

Jackie squints, shaking her head no. She can taste the words in her tongue, wants so badly to hear Nicky say them.

Nicky takes a few steps, still standing at a respectable distance, but all Jackie wants to do is push her closer.

“Because I know now, Jackie,” she declares, leaning in closer. Jackie inhales sharply. “It’s you. It’s always been you. All it took for me to realize was you ditching me, and I understand if you don’t-” Nicky leaves her sentence unfinished thanks to Jackie cupping her face and clashing their lips together.

It feels as if the last time they kissed was years ago, and Jackie thought for the longest time she had forgotten the taste of Nicky’s lips; but they’re still soft, with a hint of strawberry thanks to the chapstick Nicky often uses.

The kiss is anything but soft, and it resembles how much they had missed each other during all this time. Nicky places her hands on Jackie’s waist and pins her against the wall, and Jackie’s hands soon find their way into Nicky’s hair, softly caressing it.

God, she’d missed this terribly.

Nicky starts to pepper kisses all over Jackie’s face, making her giggle.

“Habibi, this is nice and all, but I think we’re forgetting dinner,” Jackie chuckles, smiling bashfully. Nicky kisses her more tenderly, taking her time, and Jackie is gone.

“I think I wanna eat something else now,” Nicky says nonchalantly.