#it's just fluff this time!! huzzah

[shina913]

On Tilt, Part 5 | KNJ

On Tilt, Part 5

Definition: a poker term for a state of mental or emotional confusion or frustration in which a player adopts a suboptimal strategy, usually resulting in the player becoming overly aggressive.

On Tilt Masterlist

Pairing: Namjoon x Fem!Reader

Rating: M 🔞

Genre: idol!AU; strangers-to-FWB-to-lovers; toxic relationship; angst; fluff; smut

Warnings: unhealthy/toxic relationship dynamic; cussing; miscommunication; bitchy friend with the reality check; trouble setting personal boundaries; neck kisses; light petting; soft, fluffy Namjoon

Word count: 5.9K+ words

Summary: You’ve said time and time again that you wouldn’t lose yourself to him. You were in control now. You were going to make better choices. For a minute there, you were able to keep up with it. It wasn’t ‘til Namjoon’s extended break that you found yourself falling into old habits. Will you ever learn to quit Kim Namjoon?

A/N: Thanks for being soooo patient with my super-slow updates! I’m trying to pick up the pace here as next chapter will be date number 5 (huzzah)!!!

If you're still following this story, thank you 🥹 Also, my meager Photoshop skills were tested with this banner photo 😅 Sorry to Namjoon’s friend and the other museum-going guest in the background 🥴

"What are you doing?"

It wasn't the question that made your belly flutter, but the undertone behind it.

You direct your voice to your phone on speaker mode, which sits on one corner of the table, next to the piles of new author manuscripts that you had to review before the end of the week.

"Do you always have to switch to that voice when you ask me that question?"

Namjoon feigns innocence. "What do you mean?" he asks, his voice already low. He then adds insult to injury by rasping, "This is my usual voice.”

He was in Spain spending some much-needed downtime with his family. Before that, he was in Italy for a scheduled public appearance, a week after he kept you company while you were sick.

The vacation was pre-planned and he offered to pay for your ticket so you could come along. While it sounded like a great offer, you declined. His family hadn’t seen him much and with his solo album gearing up to be released soon, free time would be more difficult to come by.

You pick your phone up off the table and lower your voice, mimicking him. “You know exactly what I mean.”

Namjoon’s laugh was deep and husky, it made your toes curl. “I can’t help how I feel when I talk to you while you’re not with me. I miss you.”

There was an ache in his tone now and you were missing him just as much. 

“Are you feeling better?”

You sighed, “I miss you, too—and yes, I am. Thank you for asking.”

“I wish you’d just taken me up on my offer to come along. My parents would have loved to have you on the trip.”

You and Namjoon were communicating more openly and were better at managing each other's expectations these days. If one of you had to cancel plans, which he still did, but not as often, you no longer felt disappointed. Similarly, he was less cranky whenever you couldn't break pre-existing commitments to rush off to him.

Just as you no longer felt the need to move your whole schedule to fit his, he’s also made some concessions to spend time with you, which was refreshing.

“Next time,” you say in consolation. “Besides, you know I’ve got way too many things going on right now. Between work and house-hunting.” You groan at the thought.

“How’s that going? Are you closing in on any properties?”

You shared your initial plans to buy a new home, but they became more concrete when Lani told you that she and her boyfriend, Kai would move in together, speeding up your timeline. Investing in purchases that would contribute to your future was crucial at this point in your life, but browsing listings online was overwhelming. Jia, who worked as a realtor, stepped in to help.

You hummed in disappointment. “There are a couple of good candidates.” You suddenly remember Jia’s email this morning about another possible listing. You make a mental note to check it out after you hang up.

“Remind me why you’re getting kicked out of Lani’s place again.”

“She’s not kicking me out,” You correct him. “I just didn’t feel like becoming this third wheel. Anyway, Jia says based on market trends, it’s the perfect time to buy. I’ve got enough money saved up from the last two years. It’s the perfect storm!”

"Is there anything I can do to help?" he asks.

"Not unless you have information on affordable real estate in the downtown area. Otherwise…" you trail off as you walk back to your desk.

"Actually, I might have a lead on something if you're interested," he offers.

"Really?" Of course, Namjoon would have leads to the best properties. Some of them were probably not even publicly listed.

“It’s about half an hour from downtown, without traffic.

“Oh.” You scrunch your face in disappointment at the prospect of a longer commute. You spin your chair around to face the window behind you in your office, which had a beautiful view of the bridge over the bay.

"Now, hear me out for a sec,” he says. “It's on the east side and I know you said you didn’t want anything farther than a 15-minute commute. But it’s in a nice area and I happen to know the listing agent and the owner.”

You smile at Namjoon's attention to detail. Even though the city you lived in had a commuting culture, it wasn't something you pictured doing for the rest of your life.

"Can you send me the information? I can have Jia connect with them."

“Sure, I can give you the contact info right now, whenever your ready.”

“Okay, hang on,” you say hastily while turning your chair back around to reach for a pen and a piece of paper.

“Also, I don’t think Jia needs to get involved. At least not much.” He had a slight edge in his voice when it came to her. Even though they had a silent truce, it still didn’t ease your discomfort.

But you didn’t feel like hashing that out during this call. “Namjoon, the number?” You ask him.

Namjoon dictates the number on the other line. After jotting down the last four digits, you pause and stare at your handwriting. “Are you shitting me? This is your phone number!”

“And?” He says, unperturbed.

You groan. "Come on! Be serious, please."

"I am being serious! Three bedrooms, two full baths, and a sizable kitchen. It's fully furnished with the basics. The downtown area is also very accessible. All you need to do is call Kim Namjoon!"

You snort. “You sound like one of those late-night infomercials.”

“Aw, don’t make fun of me,” You practically hear him pouting. “I’m trying to sell you on my place!”

You choke on nothing. "Yours? Uhm...are you moving out or something?" He just bought his place less than two years ago.

"Nope," he replies simply.

"So, if you're not moving out...then…" 

He laughs at the panicked tone in your voice and assures you, "Relaaax! I figured you'd run for the hills if I asked you to move in with me."

He was right about that.

"Not gonna lie, though. It's crossed my mind before,” he adds nonchalantly. "But I know that would be inappropriate of me to offer since we’re taking things slow.”

His casual admission is a huge surprise to you. Before you could say anything about it, he quickly adds, “Anyway, I own the unit next door. That’s what I’m offering."

You stifle a laugh. “Okay, let me get this straight: You thought it was inappropriate to ask me to move in with you, so you’re proposing that I move in next door instead?”

“Well…” he laughs, feeling cheeky. “Worth a shot!”

"I don’t understand how or why you even own a second unit," you wonder out loud. “You’re barely in your main home as it is.”

"It was sort of an impulse purchase six months ago. The woman who used to live there decided to sell it. I even got into this stupid bidding war with Seokmin,” he adds begrudgingly. “Anyway, my plan was to knock the wall down to convert it into one huge space. But between the last tour wrapping up and finishing my album, I just haven’t had the time. So right now, it’s a glorified storage closet!”

Welp, he had a lot of disposable income. His rationale also quelled your skepticism. "Oh, okay."

"I figured, it would at least liven up the space if someone was living there instead of my clothes and books."

"That’s really tempting, Joon, but you know I can’t afford your place."

"You didn't think I'd give you the family and friends discount?" he teases.

You snort. "Oooh…friend, huh?"

“Or girlfriend,” he corrected himself. There was that word again, ’girlfriend.’

“Don’t you think we’re too old for those terms?” You say in jest.

He laughed heartily into the phone. “Would you rather use, ‘person whom I’m in a committed relationship with’?”

You giggle at his suggestion but your cheeks warm at the sentiment. He was making an effort to define what this relationship was. It certainly counted for ‘more’ in your book. “How about we shorten it to ‘person’? Like, I don’t know…” you sigh, “You’re my person and I’m your person. What do you think?”

You’re met with dead silence on the other line. You think the call has dropped.

“Namjoon? Are you still there?” 

Still nothing.

“Fuck. Hello?” Maybe it didn’t drop, you think. Maybe he thought your idea was so stupid that he just hung up.

Seconds later, you hear faint trilling on the other end. You pull your phone away to check the screen, thinking it was your other line ringing. Instead, you see Namjoon trying to convert your call into a video one.

You feel a sense of relief to see him call back, knowing that he didn’t just hang up on you. You press the green button to accept it and his face immediately comes into view. He was already in bed, his hair all mussed up.

“I think I lost you there earlier.”

“Nope. I was on the line the whole time,” he says with a wide grin.

“Okay, well…You know, w-what I said, uhm, earlier…” You’re feeling completely flustered, thinking that your suggestion was idiotic. 

“I like it,” he interrupts softly. “You’re my person and I’m your person.” His dimple flashes on-screen.

You laugh nervously. “Yeah?”

He nodded his head gently, rocking back on his pillow. Your chest flutters in response and your cheeks hurt from grinning so hard. 

"Ah, man," he sighs when he sees you smile. "Now I really wish you were here with me."

The warmth in his gaze pierces its way through your phone screen. You take a moment to appreciate the sight of him looking restful and relaxed. Could you love this man any more?

"I know that look.” He shifts in bed, his words interrupting your completely wholesome thoughts of him.

"I am not giving you a look."

"Are you sure? I don’t think we excluded phone stuff from our agreement," he wiggles his eyebrows.

You laugh. "Nice try, but we’re not doing ‘phone stuff’ either! Not to mention I’m at the office, for crying out loud!”

“Damn,” he clicks his teeth and pouts in mock defeat. “But it’s not like that’s ever stopped us before. Remember that one flight from Tokyo? The Wifi was shitty on board but my god, your thighs were–”

“Oh my god, Namjoon! I’m at work!” You squeak in between a fit of giggles. Your office door was shut but people who walked by could still see you through the partially frosted glass wall.

“So was I! Do you know how hard it is to hide under those standard-issue blankets? Do you know how big I am? I had to ask for two just to make sure that my movements weren’t too obvious!”

You let him continue his tirade while your stomach hurts, wheezing from laughter.

As you sip on your mocha at the cafe table, Jia peers up at you. "Please tell me you told him, 'Thanks, but no thanks,'" she says after hearing about Namjoon's offer.

You hesitate before answering. "Well...I didn't exactly rule it out," you grimace.

Jia groans in disappointment. "YN, I thought you two were taking it slow. Now you're telling me he's asked you to move in with him?"

"No, he didn't ask me to move in with him,” you insist. “It's a second unit that he owns in the same building where he lives. It's right next door to his place but completely separate.”

"Tomato, to-mah-to," she says dismissively waving her hands. "Wasn't the goal to buy your own place?”

“Well, yeah…but have you seen his place? The area is a little bit farther but it’s super nice out there and the neighborhood has changed a lot–" You babble aimlessly.

Jia rolls her eyes. She knows that the only person you are trying to convince is yourself. Seeing as she’s tuned you out, you get right back to the point. "Anyway, if I decide–and this is a big 'if'– to take him up on his offer, at least the unit is already paid for. All I’d be paying for is annual taxes!"

"Okay, sure," Jia responds, clearly unconvinced. "But at the end of the day, the unit won't be under your name." She pauses, taking a breath and rubbing circles on her temples. "I don't know what to say anymore." She shakes her head in exasperation.

“I don’t need you to say anything,” you argue, growing annoyed at how rude she was sounding. “I'm only telling you out of courtesy since you've been so helpful during the loan application process and finding great listings.”

Jia, feeling a pang of guilt, changes her approach and softens her tone. "Look, I'm not trying to be overbearing. Obviously, I can’t tell you how to spend your money. At the end of the day, it’s your decision. And if you’re choosing to go with Namjoon…" she trails off.

But you couldn’t simply ignore her being dismissive of Namjoon. "I just wish you could see how much things have changed this time. If you did, perhaps you wouldn't keep writing him off."

She purses her lips in thought before continuing. "It's not that I'm 'writing him off'," she gestures with air quotations as she tries to explain herself, "I'm only worried about you. I care about you and I love you. I don’t want you to be disappointed again."

You sigh in frustration. "And I'm grateful and appreciative of that, Jia. I know you're just trying to be a good friend–which you totally are. But things really are different this time, and we're both on the same page now."

Jia continues to stare at you silently while you rationalize your relationship.

“This is also the last chance I’m giving him and myself. If this blows up in my face, then that’s on me,” you say, placing your hand over your chest. “But if it works out, then he and I could be happy and…that’s what’s keeping me going. And not to throw this in your face, but I always thought you would be more understanding of my situation since you went through something similar with Yeonjun,” you said, hoping to appeal to her better nature.

When Jia and her boyfriend Yeonjun broke up a while back, she was devastated. But when there was a chance that they could get back together, you encouraged her because she still loved him so much.

“But Yeonjun is a normal guy. He’s not an idol,” she said, reasoning. “We split up because of his job. The whole long-distance thing was taking its toll on us. I was tired of waiting around–”

She fell silent when she saw you staring at her wryly. “What?” she asked, scrunching her face in confusion.

You slow-blinked at her. "I mean, I don't know, Jia... your story sounds exactly like mine, except for the part where Yeonjun is not an idol."

Jia opened her mouth to argue, but immediately shut it in concession. "Okay, fine. But the difference between Yeonjun and Namjoon is that my man is not tied to some contractually obligated schedule. He is entitled to vacation time and even sick days. Does Namjoon have the same benefits?"

You couldn't deny that Namjoon's career obligations weighed on you. You also had your own flourishing career keeping you busy. Striking a balance and making compromises between your professional lives would prove to be challenging. It was definitely something worth discussing in detail if you both wanted to make this work.

"I know that Lani and I have different approaches when it comes to Namjoon, but I swear to you – the one thing we have in common is that we would never shit on your happiness. You're one of my best friends! Of course, I want you to see you happy!"

Back then, Lani used to tease you, saying that she didn't know where you started and Namjoon ended. You were so into him and adept in his ways. However, that was precisely what made it difficult to break away from him and realize that things just wasn't working for you.

You feel a twinge in your chest as you ponder what to do next.

"Congratulations and welcome home!" the agent tells you.

"Thanks," you smile as you look up from the documents you just signed. The agent hands you the keys, which you accept. You shake hands with them, and they shake hands with Jia. It's been over two weeks, and you've closed on the multi-level townhouse that was only 15 minutes away from your office.

"Will there be anything else?" the agent asks.

"Nah, I just need to take these back to the office, but other than that, we're all set," he smiles politely.

"Thanks again," you tell him before he shuts the door.

Jia beams at you before wrapping you in her arms in a tight hug. "You did it, babe!"

You laughed at her. “No, we did it. Thanks for finding this place for me.” You looked around the room, which was a blank canvas for now, but you couldn't wait to fill it with furniture and memories.

Her face softens and she fixes her gaze on you. "I know it's not exactly a luxury high-rise--"

"Jia," you say with a hint of warning, "He was perfectly fine with my decision. He’s happy that I’m happy so, can we ease up on him now?"

Jia bit her tongue. “Okay, I’m sorry,” she offers sincerely.

“Thank you,” you tell her.

Afterward, she continues to ramble on about some new fixtures you could include in your place, practically planning out how your space should look. You rolled your eyes, nodding and smiling as she gave you suggestions.

Right before move-in day, as much as Namjoon wanted to help out, his schedule wouldn’t allow it. He had several meetings that day–mostly involving his album release.

He was apologetic and to make up for it, offered to hire and pay for the moving company. Lani and Kai were there to help unload and unpack some of your items the day of.

It was after 10PM by the time your friends left after you bought them some dinner. It was the least you could do, after they bickered while they mounted the TV in your living room.

You had a few minutes of quiet so you decide to put away the empty takeout containers to continue unpacking. While sorting through some dishes and kitchen utensils, you hear a knock on your door. You walk over to check the peephole and immediately grin.

"Hi!" You beam at Namjoon.

With a tilt of his head, his adorable face appears behind the arrangement of gardenias that he carried, along with a bag of takeout. You greet him with a quick kiss before taking the bag and flowers and setting them both on the counter.

"This actually looks nice," he remarks as he turns his head, scanning the kitchen and living room area.

"I told you, the videos make it seem misleading," you tell him. "I can give you the grand tour so you can see for yourself!"

He slowly settles into a still shrink-wrapped barstool. "Let’s do that later. For now, I just want to look at you."

As he regards you, you take the opportunity to drink him in, your gaze sliding all over him. He looks exhausted but still handsome, your eyes burning just from looking at him. The way his black hair falls above his eyes makes your fingers twitch with the urge to run them through it.

Before you can say anything else, you round the corner of the kitchen counter and slot yourself between his legs to grab his face and kiss him.

When you pull away, a big smile breaks across his face. "Wow,” he says breathlessly, “What did I do to deserve that?"

"Well, I missed you,” you smile at him. Then, you inhale sharply, taking in a luscious scent. “Is that fried chicken and jjajangmyeon?" You pull away from him, reaching out to grab the bag of takeout to dig in.

He swipes the bag away to tease you. “On second thought, maybe you should give me that tour now!” He laughs.

******

After a quick tour of your new place, both of you settle in the living room, sitting on the floor and eating fried chicken while drinking beer. It feels like an impromptu picnic, much like like the old days when he had a couple of hours free between shows. Before their group hit it big, you and Namjoon used to sit on the grass at the nearest park wherever they were playing that week, and snack on fried chicken and noodles.

You start discussing what upgrades you would make to the place–some recessed lighting and a new backsplash in the kitchen. The house that you bought was slightly older and despite the previous owners making some modern additions, you still wanted to customize a few things to fit your taste. In the end, Jia was right about some of her design suggestions.

"Well, you could have just taken me up on my offer. Then you wouldn't have to worry about outdated fixtures."

Recalling your conversation with Jia, moving into Namjoon’s place would further blur the lines between you both. You were in denial about it at first but you knew she made a good point. It wasn’t that Namjoon’s offer was bad but you wanted to make more independent decisions that didn’t directly involve him. It was hard to break away from that pattern but it was necessary. If you didn’t make those decisions, then you’d end up resenting him again.

"I really have no problem sharing. In fact, I could sign it over to you," he nonchalantly drops that comment in just before taking a bite of fried chicken.

You gasp at his ridiculous suggestion. "Joon? What–"

"Don't worry. I'll pay taxes on it and whatever maintenance or repairs needed. Only difference is legally, it would be yours." He said it as if it was just as easy as settling the check at a restaurant.

"I need you to stop doing that," you say calmly.

"Doing what?"

"Trying to pay for everything. The movers were great and that was a big help for me but signing over property to me?” You shook your head. “That’s too much and I don’t need you to do that. I have money, too. Not as much as you do but I have enough.”

He shifts in his seat, looking apologetic. "I’m sorry, I didn't mean for it to come off like that. I thought, hey, I have the resources and I can help. I figured it would be one less thing for you to worry about."

"And I appreciate that. But I need to do things for myself," you say.

Namjoon nods in agreement. "I understand. But I hope you’ll understand where I’m coming from, too," he hesitates, biting his lip. "I just want to show you that I can be here for you…even when I can’t be," he mumbles.

"That's what you're worried about?"

Namjoon looks at you with trepidation in his eyes.

You look at him calmly, then gently take one of his hands to clasp it with yours. "I don't need you to give me a condo or pay for flights just to assure me that you’re here for me.”

His lips narrow into a thin line. “I just feel guilty that I can’t make a lot of compromises when it comes to my work. I can take small breaks and make time for our dates but there are times when I feel like I’m not doing enough.” he sighs. He doesn't want to keep using work as an excuse, but there's only so much he can do.

“Some days, I think that if it were up to me, I’d just say ‘fuck it all’!”

"You don't really mean that," you say quietly. “You love what you do.”

He holds your gaze, hiding nothing and letting you see his insecurities and fears. "I just don't want us to end up in the same spot we were in before."

“And you think that me living next door to you solves all that?”

He shrugs his shoulders. “Maybe? I like having you close.”

“And I do, too. But that’s not always possible, is it?”

He pauses for a few beats then says, “I hate it when we’re apart for too long. I just miss you so much and then here I am, acting like a selfish asshole again.”

"We'll keep working on the distance thing," you say but it doesn't placate him. He takes a long swig of his beer, then sighs wistfully.

"Hey," you rest your hand on his arm. "We can only learn from the past, right? It's not about our missteps but how we move on and grow from them."

After a pause, his frown fades, replaced by a half-smile. “I thought that was my line.”

You snort at his lighter tone. Reaching forward, you brush his dark strands away from his eyes. “Guess you’re rubbing off on me, Kim Namjoon.”

His lips quirk up slightly. “And I cannot wait until this fifth date to rub off on you.”

You pause to smack him on the shoulder with a laugh. “You are so not helping!”

Namjoon laughs again, his deep chuckles reverberating throughout the living room. He tightens his arm around you, pulling you in closer to him, and places a gentle kiss on the top of your head. As you feel his lips on your hair, you sense a shift in his demeanor. His mood appears to have improved, if only slightly.

"So, one of my meetings today outlined the marketing and promotional schedule for the album."

"Oh?" You welcome the change of subject, but deep down, you are anxious to hear about his schedule.

"It's pretty exciting. We're kicking it off with a launch party in two months. I'd like for you to be there if you can?" It was a plea that was hard to resist. But it has also been a while since you attended any "official" appearances with him—and by "with him," that meant you being smuggled into a separate entrance by a manager or lurking in the background of a party until he could retreat backstage, largely inaccessible by cameras or fans, so you could pretend that you were on a date.

"Is it safe?"

"I'll make sure of it. We have a guest list and only a few members of the press covering the event. They're ‘friendlies’,” also known as members of the media who were in the record label’s quid pro quo payroll.

“Could you include Lani or Jia to the list so I could hang out with somebody while you mingle?” This was also a standard protocol from before. You’d have your girlfriends with you so you’d have a cover story in case some tabloid decides to put two and two together. You weren’t sure if Namjoon’s bandmates were inviting dates to this event as well.

"I could but it might be lonely for them since I was hoping you’d be right by my side."

Your mouth falls open at his suggestion. “Uhm…what about…” you hesitate to finish your thought. Actually, you weren’t sure about what he was thinking, taking you as his date during his solo album launch–where all eyes would be focused on him.

“What if people asked questions? What does your label think about bringing a date to a huge event like that?”

He straightened but the warmth in his gaze remained. “But you’re not just my date. You’re my person, remember?”

Your eyes start to sting with emotion. You bit your lower lip, heart twisting in your chest, then agree without further argument. “Okay.”

“Okay,” he echoes, smiling warmly before planting a soft kiss on you. 

******

After a few more bites of jjajangmyeon, you ask, "So, when do I get an advance copy of this? Will just send me a link or do you have a demo CD that I can listen to?"

"Nope," he says with a laugh, surprising you. "You'll hear it first when everyone else does. Which is on the day of the party!"

"But you always give me first dibs," you whine.

"Can I be honest?" 

"Of course."

He blows out a shaky breath. "I'm really nervous about it," he confesses. "I know I keep saying that I can't wait until this whole thing is done, but in reality, I'm fucking terrified." He laughs humorlessly.

You tilt your head to the side, looking concerned. "Why?"

"I went for a different vibe on this album. I've been anxious about it the whole time. And when I say nobody has listened to this--I really mean nobody! Apart from my co-producers, of course. Otherwise…" he trails off.

"Okay, now I'm really intrigued," you say before turning away to take another piece of chicken.

He shrugs. "I started working on this project three years ago, so there were a lot of intense, unfiltered feelings there."

As you pause, you slowly peer up to find him staring. Your face can't hide all of the thoughts running through your head. During those three years, you took a break from him and had a real relationship with somebody else.

Namjoon always turns his pain and joy into art. Although you are worried about what kind of pain he channeled into his album, you don't want to be presumptuous. You give him an encouraging smile to let him know that you can't wait to hear what beautiful things he's created.

"I'm sure it will be great," you state confidently. "You always question yourself before a release, but it always works out."

"You believe in me too much." He smiles sardonically.

"Am I not supposed to?"

He smiles sheepishly, his eyes crinkling in amusement. He remains seated on the floor and leans back against your couch. Tugging at your arm, he beckons you to sit on his lap. "C'mere."

You laugh softly but eventually oblige.

You gingerly climb onto his lap, straddling his thighs, and drape your arms around his neck. He tilts his head forward to touch his forehead to your chest. You feel his breaths through your shirt, warming your skin.

You run both hands through his hair, nuzzling against him. "Everything will be fine, you'll see."

"Thank you," he murmurs against you.

"You don't need to thank me. I'm not the one who did all this work to record an album."

His head falls back, and he gazes up at you. "Not the album. I meant this. Thank you for giving us..." He pauses to correct himself. "Thank you for giving me another chance."

You brush his hair back again, noticing how tired and worn he looks. The past few months of nonstop work and trying to make time for you have taken their toll. His fingertips slide gently down your cheek as you continue to silently stare at him.

Being this close to him makes you realize how much you've missed him, how much you've craved physical contact. You lean in and kiss him with ease.

The feel of his mouth on yours sent a searing trail of goosebumps racing up your arms, stirring memories of his mouth on other parts of your body. He groans when you move your lips down to his neck to suck on it.

You hear and feel him gulp audibly, trying to regain control of himself. “Baby, slow down...”

You ignore his pleas and push his hands under your shirt. “Touch me, please,” You sigh against his skin. He gasps when your warm breath brushes at his earlobe. You nuzzle deeper, taking in his scent. It was intoxicating.

"We can't." All of his teasing in the last few days and his little joke about rubbing off on you earlier tonight have pushed you past your limit, and now you are sitting on his lap, all hot and bothered, and he decides to turn you down while you’re practically begging him to rip your clothes off? What kind of mental edging is this?

You sit up and whine, "Why not?"

"This isn't even our fifth date," he chuckles. "I just wanted to bring you some dinner and flowers."

"Please, Joon...you did it last time," you purr, trying to entice him again by dipping lower to lick his earlobe.

He lets out a pained groan when he feels your breasts press against his chest. He fights off his natural instinct to palm them and instead makes a pitiful effort to dislodge your mouth from him.

"I just really want us to see these five dates through," he says.

You playfully jerk your neck back. "Excuse me, Mr. 'Are you sure that 5-date rule is non-negotiable?'" you recite the same words he said during your first date after making this agreement.

A deep laugh rumbles within his chest, then he pulls you closer. "I know, I know... but..." His expression turns wistful. It's as if he knows something you don't.

"But what? Tell me," you coax him.

"There was something you said the last time we were together. It's been on my mind these last few weeks."

The last time you were together, you were a congested mess hopped up on cold medicine. What could you have possibly said to him? Did you suggest more dates?

Nervously, you ask, "And what exactly did I say?"

He purses his lips for a moment, seemingly unsure whether he wants to reveal it or take it to the grave.

He looks directly into your eyes with a calm expression on his face. "You said you loved me."

Your mouth falls open, as you don't recall verbalizing it to him. Perhaps you thought about it so often that your subconscious ended up blurting it out for you.

He cracks a smile. "You're not denying it."

There's no point so you just stare back at him, with gentle eyes.

"Did you mean it?" he asks.

His question takes you back to your old apartment, lying face-to-face with him while you tried to define your relationship. You were falling for him then, but you settled for whatever crumbs he could give you, downplaying labels.

This time, even though you had taken your foot off the gas, you weren't intending to slam on the brakes. You were cruising at a steady speed. Easy. Comfortable. Familiar.

"Yeah," you nod softly. "I did...I do." It isn't how you imagined saying it to him, but since it's been on your mind for a while, the words just decided to slip out on their own.

He smiles sheepishly at your admission, eyes drifting down to his hands. "I really want to earn those words, enough for you to say them to me when you're wide awake.”

"I can tell you now."

"No, don't do that," he says, loosening his hold on you. "I want you to decide when I deserve to hear it. At that point, I'll know that I deserve you, too."

His words hit you like a punch to the gut. He's always been poetic and an expert at wordplay when it comes to his lyrics.

"I love you," he says effortlessly.

You stare at him and let his words sink in. Like it or not, Namjoon was the only one who can make your heart soar to the highest of highs, but you also knew that he could very well pull the rug from underneath you. If that happened again, you weren’t sure whether you’d survive that fall.

◤Previous | Next◥ | Main Fic Masterlist

Thank you so much for reading!

If you loved it, please comment, reblog, or send me feedback! 📩. I love hearing from readers! If you didn’t like it so much, I would still like to hear about it. Help me become a better writer! 💜

Tagging: @internetjunkdrawer @itdoesntmatterwhy   @serendididy @onlythehobi  @majamarantha @joonschocochip @yoongukie-ff @betysotelo18

[bearr02]

All Shall Fear Him |Chapter One|

Pairing: Mafia!Yoongi x F!reader

Chapter warnings: kinda angsty (I think), Jin’s being sweet tho

Summary: Everyone has, and should, always feared Min Yoongi. They knew never to one, cross his path and two, make him mad. Oh if ever you made him mad, you better hope to god he’d make it easy on you. One man, however, didn’t understand the reason why this man, ‘the great Min Yoongi’ should be feared. That mistake, costs him his girlfriend, all he can do is hope it didn’t cost her life.

Genre: Angst, Mafia au, smut, eventual fluff…

W.C: 1.3k

A/n: I DID IT! Huzzah! Hope y’all like it, I don’t know how to feel abt it I’m just happy I got something out there. Jin’s honestly gonna be like momma bear or protecting older brother in this series. Gotta love it <3. Enjoy :D

Also, I recommend reading the teaser as its more like an intro to the story, of course if you don’t want to you don’t have to!

Credit to @cafekitsune for the dividers!

Next - Masterlist

You keep your eyes locked on the world passing by outside of the window, your hands interlocked on your lap to keep them from shaking as tears silently slide down your cheeks. You’ve been in the car for what feels like forever, the seconds feel like hours, the minutes like days as you nervously wait for your new life to begin.

By the time the car pulls up to a fancy, no doubt million dollar mansion, you feel reality truly set in, pursing your lips to hold in a sob.

Your door is opened, and barely a second later you’re pulled out roughly, tripping over your feet as you struggle to keep your balance.

You don’t have time to regain it before the man behind you forces you to move. “Jesus, be careful with her.” You hear someone speak, looking up to see a man coming out of the house with his brows furrowed. The man takes you from the last man’s arms, giving you a moment to get balanced on your feet again before he introduces himself.

“Hi. I’m sorry about him, my name’s Seokjin but you can call me Jin.” You nod, not trusting your voice at the moment. He offers you a smile before leading you to the doors to the giant mansion in front of you.

As soon as you enter, you feel your mouth drop open. The living room is huge, leading to a gigantic kitchen, with 2 hallways on each side and two grand staircases leading to another floor that overlooks the current floor you’re on. You know you shouldn’t be surprised, he’s a part of the mafia after all, there’s no doubt in your mind he makes easy millions, but this mansion is huge.

You don’t have much time to admire it any longer when the man, Jin, starts guiding you to one of the two staircases leading to the second floor.

You take one last look at the downstairs before Jin leads you down one of the hallways and into a room, closing the door behind the both of you. “I’m really sorry about this, the whole thing. It’ll probably be tough here for a while but even if we don’t really know each other, you can always reach out to me, yeah?” You nod, refusing to look at the man.

He sighs, putting on a small smile before leaving the room, closing and locking it behind him. You look around the room, it’s spacious, yet you still feel like you're being locked in a closet, the knowing of the door being locked gets to you more than you’re willing to admit.

Safe to say you feel trapped.

Absolutely, positively, fucking trapped.

You feel your bottom lip wobble as tears begin to cloud your vision. Falling to your knees on the floor before resting completely on the ground and curling in on yourself, muffling your sobs that seem to flow out freely.

—

You’re not sure how much time has passed, or when you finally managed to fall asleep, but when you wake up the sun is starting to set and you can hear voices moving closer and closer to the room.

You scramble to stand up, frantically searching the room for somewhere to hide, even if it won’t do much. You scramble to the closet when you can hear the voices clear as day, slowly closing the door behind you to ensure it won’t make noise.

You sit in the furthest corner of the decently big closet, making sure some clothes are shielding you from the door. You firmly press a hand over your mouth, tuning in on the conversation as best as you can.

Much to your luck, all you can hear is the mumbles of a few different voices, maybe 3.

You close your eyes when you hear the bedroom door being unlocked before the voices quiet down. “Where is she?” Yoongi speaks, sending a chill down your spine. “I locked her in here, she couldn’t have gotten out.” You hear Jin speak. “Then how the fuck is she gone?” Yoongi’s calm demeanor shakes you to the very core as tears begin to slip down your cheeks again.

“She’s probably hiding, Yoongi.” Jin says, taking you by surprise how calm and unaffected he sounds. “Then find her.” Yoongi says, then you hear multiple pairs of footsteps echo around the room.

You squeeze your eyes when you hear the closet door being opened, pressing your hand closer to your mouth to muffle a whimper that slipped past your lips. The man doesn’t seem to have noticed it, continuing to shuffle through the clothes.

You yelp when you’re pulled up, fighting against the man. “I found her!” He announces, dragging you back into the bedroom before throwing you on the floor. You whimper at the force, scrambling to sit up as your gaze shifts between the four men in the room.

“Fuck, Lee, be careful.” Jin growls, his concerned eyes resting on your figure. The man snorts, “I only take orders from Min, Kim.” Your eyes last land on Yoongi who’s sitting on the bed. He holds up his hand as he stares at the three other men present.

“You may all leave.” You suppress a shiver as you look down at Yoongi’s cold tone. You hear the footsteps of the three men move toward the door before it closes and silence envelops the space.

You scoot away when Yoongi stands up, snapping your head up, watching him with wide eyes as he moves closer. You stagger back when he takes a bigger step toward you, seemingly like he jumped, yet you don’t make it far when he leaps forward and grabs your hair, practically falling on top of you.

You yelp, fighting against him to no avail. He tugs harshly on your hair, pulling your head back for a moment and no doubt tugging out some strands making you whimper. “Fucking bitch.” He whispers under his breath, standing up and tugging you with him.

He drags you to the bed, throwing you on to it before getting on top of you. You push against him, smack him, and tug on him, to no avail.

The hold he has on your hair tightens before he lifts your head up slightly only to slam it back down on the bed harshly. “Will you just fucking stop?!” He yells making you sob, squeezing your eyes shut as you weakly push at him. He huffs before letting go of your hair, grabbing your wrists to pin them on the bed instead.

“Now, here’s how this will go, you will respect me, you will do as I say, and you will not try to escape. If you so much as even think about it, there will be consequences. Understand?” You shiver at his tone, a sob escaping your lips as you try to weakly tug your wrists out of his hold.

“I asked you a question.” You move your head to the side when he inches closer. “Answer me.” You whimper when the hold on your wrists tighten. “Y-yes..” you say weakly.

Yoongi finally lets go of your wrists but he doesn’t get off of you, you can feel the weight of his hands being pressed into the bed beside your waist. You risk taking a peak at him only to see his intense gaze still resting on you.

You whimper, pinching your eyes shut and turning your head to the side, curling in on yourself as much as you can under Yoongi. He’s silent for a few more seconds before he finally gets up.

You hear his footsteps echo around the room before you hear a door open, shut, and lock. Sealing you in the room, no doubt for the night if not longer.

You curl up fully, burying your face in your knees as you cry yourself to sleep.

Next - Masterlist

A/n: Okay to be fair, I’ve had this part done for like, a few weeks..but this chapter was supposed to be longer. I had almost 3k words on it when I hit a writers block with it (just like with sas), and like it’s been almost 2 months since I made that teaser so like I wanted to get sumn out there soon. I also have the first chapter of The mockingbirds song done so I’ll get that out there sometime soon if anyone is interested in it. Thank you for bearing with me with this one though! Love you all mwah!

[staygoldwriting]

Hii! Can I pls request a Eddie Munson x fem!crybaby!reader? Like she’s such a softie that even if she sees a little flower all alone she’ll cry. Or if Eddie says something very nice she cries. If she’s hungry? You guessed it! She cries! And when Eddie gives her like takeout she cries cause she found Eddie adorable!🥰😅

Ngl-it is very self centered cause I’m a real crybaby😇😅

Hi there! This is such a cute request 😍 It made me think that I should probably introduce a fluff-o-meter for my work on a scale of 1-5 😂 I wrote it in blurbs so I could include more scenarios! I hope you and enjoy, and as always, please show love and support 🤗💕

Word count: ~800 with a 200 word bonus

Warnings: 5 on the fluff-o-meter, mentions of marriage

For @fieldofsecretss 💙

😭 Crybaby

“Hey, sweetheart, sorry Hellfire took so long, but I’m home now-wait, what’s wrong?” Eddie rushed over to you. You were sitting on the couch, wrapped in a blanket, tears streaming down your face.

“It’s… it’s just the movie,” you said, sniffling. 

“Sweetheart… you’re watching Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure,” Eddie replied confused, but still tried to soothe you. “What’s sad about it?”

“Nothing, it’s just so sweet that they have each other, you know?” you cried. “Friendship is so beautiful.”

“It sure is,” Eddie smiled, holding you tight. Every once in a while, well, more than once in a while, you would get into a weepy mood, and Eddie tried his best to comfort and understand you, but it still caught him off guard at times. 

“I’m better now,” you sniffled, kissing him. “How was your time?”

“It was good! The guys say hello as always.”

“Hello to the guys,” you smiled.

“Oh! Mike wanted me to give this to you,” Eddie said, handing you a small box. You opened it to see a small pin with a flower on it. 

“Awww,” you whimpered. “He’s so sweet! I remember telling him I liked roses, and now… and now…” you started to blubber and cry, and Eddie brought you back into his arms, kissing you all over your face until you laughed.

“I’ll tell him you said thank you,” he chuckled. 

“I’m sorry, I’m such a mess! You’ve only been here two minutes and I’ve already cried twice. I’m such a crybaby.”

“But you’re _my _crybaby, and I would never want you to change!” Eddie said, kissing your temple. “You feel emotions strongly! If people don’t get it, then screw them and their insensitivity.”

“You’re the best,” you sniffled, kissing his forehead. 

-😭-

“Okay, I think we have everything on our list,” Eddie said as he scanned the grocery list. “You want anything else, baby? Baby?”

Eddie looked up to see you sniffling at the bakery section, peering into the pastry window. As he approached you, he brushed away a tear falling down your cheek.

“We need to buy that cookie, Eddie.”

“Which one, honey?”

“The one… all alone.”

“Oh, okay, that makes sense. It needs company?”

“No! Don’t you get it? All his cookie friends have been deemed edible, and he’s here, waiting to be eaten.”

“Well, let’s buy it and split it so it can feel twice as loved.”

“You know me so well, baby.”

-😭-

“How was school today?” you asked Eddie as he walked inside. 

“Eh, not too bad,” he said, lifting your legs so he could sit on the couch. Draping them across his lap, he gazed at you.

“That’s good,” you said, setting down your magazine. “Any news?”

“Well, the school announced prom, and I don’t know if I wanna go. What do you think?”

“Why not?” you shrugged. “It could be fun, sort of a last huzzah with your friends before you graduate.”

“Yeah, I see what you mean. Would you… would you want to come with me?”

Your eyes filled with tears as you looked at him wide-eyed. Your bottom lip began to quiver, and you took a shaky breath or two.

“Eddie, baby, I would love to go to your prom with you!” you cried as Eddie pulled you into a hug, kissing your head.

“I had a feeling, but you never know,” he chuckled. “I talked to Robin and Nancy about it, and they said you can join them for dress shopping this weekend.”

“They’re so sweet to let me join their group,” you blubbered. 

“Well, they love you!” Eddie smiled, making you cry more. “You’re a really great gal, you know,” he kissed you.

“I love them too, and I love you! How did I get so lucky?”

Eddie wiped the tears from your face as he smiled softly at you. His eyes shined as he looked at you in admiration. 

“I’m the lucky one, sweetheart.”

-😭-

“Eddieee,” you whined as you plopped on the couch. 

“What’s going on, princess?” he asked as he moved the hair out of your face.

“I’m hungry.”

“Yeah?”

You sniffled, tears starting to form. “Yeah.”

“Aww, baby, come here,” Eddie said as you lifted your arms for him to pull you up. You sniffled into his shoulder as you whimpered. 

“Can we call to get some food please?”

“I’m sorry, sweetheart, but we can’t.”

“Why not?” you cried.

“Because I called for pizza twenty minutes ago to surprise you. It should be here any minute now.”

“Oh, Eddie!” you sobbed, then looked at him seriously. “Did you get extra cheese?”

“Of course I did, my love, it wouldn’t be a Y/N and Eddie pizza without it.”

“Have I ever told you you’re marriage material?”

“Ha, I don’t know, but you’re marriage material too, baby.”

“Don’t make me cry more!”

-😭-

(this is the little bonus blurb!)

You and Eddie were taking a walk in the park, holding hands and breathing in the fresh autumn air. You loved walking with Eddie; you always found new food to try, new places to explore, and you always left with a story. Eddie spun you, pulling you back in to kiss you softly. He smiled as he gazed into your eyes, both of you feeling helplessly in love.

“I have something for you,” he said sweetly.

“Oh?” you said, your eyes starting to water. From a flower petal to a car, anything Eddie brought you was worthy of a full bawl-session.

“Here you go,” he smirked, handing you a stack of tissues.

“Okay, I don’t cry that much,” you laughed, but caught your breath when you looked at Eddie down on one knee, a box in his hands.

“I don’t want to say much because I don’t want you to cry too much and get dehydrated, but I promise to always love you and always keep tissues in my pocket for whenever life is too sweet to handle. Y/N L/N, will you marry me?”

Your face was wet with tears long before you leapt into his arms, saying “absolutely yes!” 

❤️✨

Taglist: @alphashadows @tillkummer @mlle-ayka @fanficfanatic204 @gttrgrrl @klaine-92 @aurumbelis @onlyangel-444 @beep-beep-sherlock @morishitoshi @onceuponathreetwoone @toomanybandstocare @underthebatcape @zeldaknight @fieldofsecretss @prettyinpunk85 @igotbasicdrag @gothicfaires @thatonecurlygirl @luvthatlovestolove @loliakeoghan23 @dearelliewrites @mslunawinchester @efvyqrs @simonsbluee @inkedaztec @dumplinshee @pastel-abyss-x @frozenhuntress67 @hawkins-hs @simpingoverfictionalppl @witheringawayagain @theshinyrock @hollandcomics @pinkgothiccprincess @persephone13 @katsukis1wife @murnsondock @fictionlandslanddreams @elizabeth-or-lily @tooobsessedsstuff @srapalestina @hawkinshottie86 @munsongalblogs @madformunsonsstuff @harrys-tittie @middle--fingering @urmomgov @maybankstarkey

[comedicallyterriblemasky]

hi, can i pls request some fluff headcanons of BEN Drowned, laughing jack, and jason the toymaker (its ok if you dont do jason)

Fluff headcanons of the above

Characters: BEN Drowned, Laughing Jack, Jason the Toymaker and Gender Neutral! Reader

CW: None

Tags: Fluff, SFW

A/N: Sorry this took so long to get to, my power shut off and almost died haha

Headcanons below!

BEN Drowned:

Lets be honest, he would go on rants about all the newest games/ his interests even if the person he's talking to allowed it or not.

Probably super athletic, sure he's a huge gamer but if he's kinda like an emo version of link he's gotta get some exercise in (And trauma, of course.)

Super affectionate, once you've allowed him to rant enough times he'll just randomly greet you with hugs (And sometimes tackling)

Runs around shouting "HUZZAH!" with a cheap plastic sword

Master of the puppy eyes, I'm calling it

----------------

Jason the Toymaker:

Spoils the shit out of people he likes (Platonic and Romantic) from physical affection, to gifts, etc. This dude is too affectionate for his own good (Just try not to get on his bad side, if ykyk)

Probably will stitch up things if he sees they're broking (Does matter if you told him or not)

Really, really likes corny movies, like purposefully bad movies

Probably memorized things you talked about like eight months ago only to hand them to you (Even if you already forgotten about it)

-----------------

Laughing Jack:

Fucking best trick or treater ever, will just hand out non toxic candy that he somehow got to people

Probably would talk in the most old fashion voice and slang imaginable, to the point it's hilarious and endearing

Occasional hugs, usually just gives compliments that sound sarcastic, he usually means them truly.

Probably likes 'Dangerously Yours.' Seems like the type.

[trigun-sims-shenanigans]

and its escalates

milly was a bit nervous of wolfwood's reaction to the kiss...

but he's chill !

quite excited, actually

surprise vash just walking past

wolfwood realized meryl was here LOL and went up to talk with her

i hope meryl is lecturing him on her current project

milly kissed wolfwood and then DIPPED to go to sleep LOLOL

the next morning

milly is out for a swim

milly was also late for work ???? she was swimming so long she forgot to leave

uh oh ! glitch ! and now milly is going to work all wet

speaking of work, it is thursday at noon Meryl has a job it is due friday morning at 9 Meryl has got to grind to get this textbook done

she was so .... eager? panicked ? that she didn't even get dressed lol

Milly got a few notifications at work such as....

this same opportunity ! she decided to go for the fluff piece this time and it worked out well for her

but ????? she also gained this ???????

now she has ANOTHER fear !!!!

LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE. YOU'VE GIVEN HER ANXIETY

my poor tense girl T-T

One of milly's aspirations and dreams is to have a ton a friends, so she decides to make some while out on the street !

oh mills.... put on a poker face

AH MERYL IS DONE WITH HER BOOK AND HUZZAH

(the guy who ordered the book was super condescending and annoying)

milly randomly decided to call over some people ? this lady flirted so hard with Meryl

and nick ? showed up uninvited?

meryl also came down to chat, so it was just a big socialization session in the front yard

i like how bored ww looks LOL

bonus pics of what legato and elendira are up to during this

legato wants to make enemies and elendira is SOOOO PUMPED about the internet

[niobe-loreley]

Heaven Is In A Shortcake {xiv}

THIS IS JAPANESE LUNCH TIME RUSH (who understood the reference?)

disclaimer: The Gray Man and the characters are NOT mine, even the reader. I only own the plot and the reader's character lol. Pictures used in the fic are NOT MINE, but only the edited version (u can msg me if u ze owner); credits to the rightful owners and canva + weheartit. Additionally, I am not a Subic/Zambales native, so my apologies for any wrong locations, descriptions, or languages.

Six x F!Reader / Courtland Gentry x Female Reader

warning: moderate amount of swear words. some filipino dialogues. slow burn. fluff. trust issues. dramaramramamama. comedy if you use a magnifying glass. culture shock. word count check. slightly proofread/revised.

CHAPTER SELECTION IS IN THE ✨Masterlist✨ Chapter 13 is still a newborn fawn Chapter 14 is 13's twin

word count: 3k (N/N) = nickname *Kiara = Clare *Kurt = Court *cover names = reader doesn't know (except you DO know #wreckthe4thwall)

There’s something about you— Claire mentally remarks as she scrutinizes you behind the counter. She already knows you’re one of those ‘one of a kind’ persons, but there’s something different in your atmosphere for this past week. Claire just cannot pinpoint what it is. What she can pinpoint are the specifications as to why she’s concluded something is different about you.

You’re not being passive-aggressive towards Court anymore

Claire knows the reason for that. When she noticed that he’s not being mean to you during their Monday breakfast, Claire asked him about it and he truthfully told her on their way home. She’s extremely glad, huzzah-ing every time she sees you and Court interacting without avoiding eye contact or having tight-lipped smiles.

"What's with the huzzahs?" you'd ask, because Court already knows why.

"Just feeling festive," Claire would reply, grinning toothily.

2. You’ve become more bubbly than you've ever been

There's a bounce in your step that's more jubilant than the bounce you've had before. If Claire hasn't known you for almost four months, she might've not noticed it. She notes the way you start your gait off with a skip and end with a tiny bounce.

"Somebody's in a good mood," Claire says when she first notices the extra zeal you're emitting.

You dramatically bat your eyelashes at her. "Whatever do you mean, milady?"

"Erick gave you a present or something?" Claire teases.

"Oh, he, um.. I," you cut yourself off, clearing your throat, and you bashfully glance at Court. "We actually—"

"Hey, that's none of your business." Court flicks a balled up tissue at Claire, hitting her on the forehead.

"Ouch!"

You chuckle. "Alright, I'm stopping this banter before it starts."

You thought you've hidden it well, but Claire catches the brief dejected look you gave Court. As though you missed an opportunity to say something. However, what Claire mostly perceives is that—

3. Your face gains more color whenever you're talking or looking at Court

“Reverse— reverse— wild card— and uno," Court grins as he holds up his remaining card.

You heatedly huff. "Plus four!" and place the card down.

"Plus four back," he snickers, dropping his own 4+ card.

Your jaw drops, and so did Claire's. But you quickly recover first. "This is the first time you beat me, huh?" you smirk and start cleaning up the cards, "I wonder who taught you that combo.."

"I've been taught by the best." says Court, discreetly nodding at you.

You laugh, maybe a little too loud; the other customers in this fine Saturday evening glance over at you momentarily. And maybe that’s why your face is more redder than usual. But when your amusement has dissipated and you make eye contact with Court, the color in your cheeks doubles.

“Order for Table 7!” Muro announces as he deposits a tray with two plates of carbonara and a bowl with four garlic bread.

You flinch, reeling out of your daze, and you excuse yourself with a laugh. “Gotta get some dough,” you remark playfully.

“Go get ‘em.” Court cheers, stifling his smile.

Claire once again catches the flare in your cheeks before you turn away. “Something’s..” she hums, clipping her chin between her fingers. “Something’s a-happening.”

“Hm? What is it?” Court asks.

She shortly scrunches up her nose. “I’ll tell you once I have solid proof.”

He chuckles. “Alright, detective.” and sips on his cup of warm, white chocolate mocha. His eyes are on a certain waitress, the only waitress in the cafe tonight— which is you, if that isn’t obvious.

Claire doesn’t comment on it, but she has most certainly reacted. Court is too busy staring after you to see Claire's toothy grin.

And she still hasn't released the expression by the time you're serving them dinner. Court notices this and he's slightly freaked out. "What's wrong with your face?" he whispers just before you reach their table.

"Mind if I inquire why you're mimicking the Cheshire Cat?" you ask, snorting.

Claire opens her mouth for a cheeky retort, when somebody noisily bursts in the cafe. "Honey, I brought guests!" Erick exclaims with a slight yodel.

Court glances over his shoulder, immediately regretting it. A hundred emotions tweak on his face faster than the speed of light. Bewilderment. Displeasure. Contempt. Anger. Despair. Those are some of Court's emotions that Claire manages to perceive. And she knows the reason behind each one of them.

"Erick!" you blink, dumbfounded. "What are you doing here?"

"Mi amigos wanted something new, and they've never been to this cafe before," he replies as he puts an arm across your shoulders, smiling lopsidedly.

"Oh, well.. sit anywhere you like—"

"Oh, no, no, no, honey. We'll take-out our orders. They just wanted to see what the cafe was like."

"And we're definitely coming back here some other day," one of his friends chimes in.

"Unless, of course," Erick shifts a little and, making you face him, he leisurely slides his arm down from your shoulders and tightens it around your waist, "you want me to stay?"

For a moment, Claire thinks about getting cardiac arrest while actually feeling she's in cardiac arrest. She needs to separate you and Erick, for Court's sake. Despite the cruel reality that his chances with you have gotten slimmer than an ANTM's body, Claire is still rooting for you and Court.

"Ow, ow, ow, ow!"

Everyone is stunned by the scene, until Erick's friends erupt with laughter, while Claire and Court share puzzled looks. You have grabbed Erick by the ear and twisted it in an unlawful way.

"Boundaries, man." you say chidingly to Erick and glance at his friends, "Right this way if you want to order!"

"Ca-Can you let go of my ear first— OW!"

Claire notices something unsettling about Court. "What's going on with your mug?" she asks, perplexed by his wildly amused demeanor.

"Dinner and a show," he answers and suppresses a laugh when he witnesses you giving one last forceful twist on Erick's ear before releasing it.

"I feel like I might pass out," Claire huffs and puffs.

"Why is that??" you and Court chorus worriedly.

She grins. "'Cuz I'm so full!"

"Please, don't joke about that." you say as you return to clearing out their table, eyeing the teenager for any signs of fainting.

"But I'm serious, though. Quick!— Make me laugh so I'll digest quickly!"

"You mean, so you'll puke easily?" Court chimes in with a smirk.

"How about a short walk outside?" you suggest and carefully hoist up the tray filled with their dishes, "The Boardwalk isn't too cold nor too warm this time of year."

Claire snaps her fingers. "That's a great idea! And it'll even be greater if you walk along with us!"

"Of course, it's a great idea! I— wait, what?" you do a double-take at the teenager, who suddenly conjures her puppy-dog mien. You feel your self-control churning in your stomach and you nervously laugh, "Kurt, please tell your daughter that I won't be able to join since I'm at work."

Court looks at you and then at Claire. "Ah, food coma." he blankly cries out and feigns to faint, head slumping back against the backrest of the booth.

Muro appears beside you. "Alright! I'll take it from here!"

You sigh in relief. "Thank you— wait," you frown quizzically at him, and before you can react, Muro snatches the tray of dishes from you. "Hey!"

"And you won't be needing this outside!" Mindy pops up from behind you and swiftly takes your apron off at the speed of light.

You stammer a protest while Claire clutches your arm and hauls you out of the cafe. Court trails behind, smiling amusedly. The moon and stars are out and gleaming, and the city lights twinkle back at them. There's laughter ringing through the sea breeze, which leaves a warm aftertaste in each of its chilly gust.

"This is a me versus the world kind of thing going on here," you comment in between your final opposition, and when you start walking on sand, you zip your lips and yield to the serenity of the nocturnal stroll.

Claire is still at your side, arm looped around yours, grinning effervescently. She pauses from star-gazing and takes a gander. She sees Court treading behind, gestures for him to come closer, and slows down her gait. He obliges without a word, astonishment painting his features when Claire loops her other arm around his. She shortly squeezes her hold on you and Court before adding a bounce in her step.

Court exchanges dumbfounded looks with you. This moment would've been totally normal if it weren't for your physiology experiencing aberration whenever you make eye contact with your crush. Blood automatically rushes up your cheeks, you ignore it and give a sheepish grin. He returns the expression with a small laugh, glances at Claire, and eyes the world around the three of you.

You admire him admiring the world. Counting from one to three, you then avert your gaze to the city life bustling on the outskirts of the Boardwalk. The smell of the sea and grilling restaurants mingle in your olfactory. It's been a long while since you've had a stroll, deeply breathing in and out, you fight back a contented shudder. But Court notices the infinitesimal quake in your shoulders.

"Are you cold?" he inquires, halting his tracks, he's about to remove his jacket. You're only wearing the signature brown-collared shirt of the cafe's uniform, denim shorts, and thigh-high socks.

"Oh, no, I'm not cold!" you reply with a laugh, "I'm just.. thrilled, you know? Been a while since I've walked along the beach."

"You should thank yourself for that 'cuz you suggested it," says Claire.

"You know what? I will."

"That's right, raise that self-esteem!"

The three of you are 5 minutes away from the cafe now, 3 minutes if you sprint like an Olympic runner. A group of guys are playing basketball on the nearby court where sand meets concrete. "Oh, there's a fountain over there, would you two like to see it?" you point towards a miniature park.

"Sure," Court and Claire say in unison, though the teenager has a more gleeful tone.

You're about to take another step when you notice something soaring towards you. "Woah!" you yelp as you catch a basketball.

"Sorry, miss!" one of the guys starts to jog towards you.

You lob the ball at him. "Sa susunod kasi, sa kakampi niyo ipasa."

Next time, pass it to your teammate.

His other friends erupt with oooh's and taunts, while the guy stops to catch the ball. "Baka lang naman gusto kita makausap," he replies, smirking.

Maybe it's because I just want to talk to you.

"Edi tanga ka. Sana lumapit ka kesa nambato ka ng bola." you scoff and gesture for the father-daughter duo, "Let's go."

"Single ka, no? Walang magkakagusto sa'yo 'pag pinagpatuloy mo yung ugali na 'yan!" he angrily yells.

You're single, ain't you? No one will like you if you continue with that attitude!

You try to hold back, but the retort has already turned the keys and launched out the missiles. "At ikaw naman? Single kasi para kang pwet ng manok na putak ng putak!"

How about you? You're single 'cause you're like a chicken's ass that keeps on spouting!

Claire barks out a laugh, while Court glances away to hide his smile. You feel a sense of pride, simultaneously a tinge of embarrassment for loosening the chains on your warfreakness.

The three of you arrive at the fountain with no further catcalls or distractions. Claire roams around, snapping pictures as she goes, while you take a seat on the rim of the fountain's basin. Court strolls around the small park, like a bodyguard securing the area, and afterwards, he heads towards the fountain. Specifically towards you.

Your heart has skipped, tripped, and cartwheeled even before Court sits beside you. However, he leaves a respectable space between the two of you, and part of you wants nothing more than to erase the distance. Because of that, you don't have the courage to look at him; or else your face will put an erupting volcano to shame.

You keep your eyes on Claire instead. Even when you perceive Court looking at you in your peripheral vision.

Five minutes pass by like that, yet the silence between you and Court is comfortable. Claire's giggling and the camera snapping are the only consistent noise mingling with the quietness, as well as the vague crash of the waves against the shore. You see distant people strolling by the beach, some kids are even running around and tripping, sand particles flying and glinting under the moonlight.

"Okay, let's go!" Court suddenly says, rising up.

You blink at him. "What?"

He holds his hand out to you. "It's already been 5 minutes since we left the cafe. You're still working, right?"

"Yeah, you need to get back to work!" Claire exclaims, hopping next to Court, she outstretches a hand to you, while her other hand is used to snap a picture of you.

You blink out the flashes, glance at each the father-daughter duo, and stifle a laugh. "Okay, let's go," you grab their hands, "But are you two sure you're done sightseeing?"

Claire nods. "Yup! And don't worry, we can sightsee some other time! And (N/N) will be our tour guide," she looks up at Court, "Right, dad?"

"Of course," Court replies, but he's looking at you.

You gulp down your heart when it somersaults up your throat. Fire grows in your cheeks, and you hope the sea breeze that's flurrying by will extinguish it. "W-Well, that's good.. so you two have other places to go other than the cafe." you say, mentally noting how the father-daughter duo are still holding your hands.

"Like we'll ever get tired of the cafe." Claire snorts and tugs on your hand, "C'mon, let's go back!"

You let Claire pull you to a slow gait, and when you feel Court loosening his grip, you tighten your hold on his hand. "Hey," you shortly frown at him over your shoulder, "no letting go."

His eyes widen as he's forced to follow after your and Claire's strides. Soon, astonishment is melted by relief— and something else that you can't decipher. Court smiles at you, the most genuine kind of smile, and you can't help but smile back, the sheepish kind mixed with something unknown.

You stammer. "I mean, I'm the tour guide, so—"

"Alright," Court grips your hand affectionately, "No letting go."

Officially, your heart has gone boom-boom, bye-bye.

"Bye-bye, (N/N)!"

"Bye-bye, Claire!"

"Will you go to Lilia's later?"

"Yeah, I will! Have a safe drive home!"

You watch the father-daughter duo climb in the car before you step back in the cafe. There's only a few customers now, and with only one hour until closing time. But for some reason, one hour feels like an eternity. 

You've lost count on how many times Mindy and Muro have asked you to relay the events of this evening's stroll. They repeatedly asked because even when you left out the part where you held hands with Claire and Court during the last bit of the stroll, blood would rush up your neck and face. With that, the couple knows something more happened. It's not like you want to hide it, but…

For some reason, you want those moments with the father-daughter duo just for yourself. As though disclosing it to anyone else will break the magic spell— which is the mystery of why Claire and Court seem to like you.

Shaking your head, you forcibly reel yourself out of your stupor before you fall down that rabbit hole again. You envy Alice for reaching the bottom of her rabbit hole, since yours will most likely be a bottomless pit. You let out a deep sigh through your nose, briefly expelling the scent of coffee, and glance at the wall clock, which indicates 9:40— 50 minutes before work ends.

One way to quicken time is to be busy, so you clear your thoughts and get to waiting tables, blending drinks, and washing dishes.

And just like that, it's closing time.

You chuckle to yourself, contemplating how funny time is. When you're not doing anything, it's slow. But when you're doing something, it gets faster. You find that hilarious, but sometimes you despise time for speeding up when you're enjoying someone else's company. Your inner self coughs and indiscreetly hangs up a portrait of Court and Claire on the wall. You find a vase to throw at your inner self and focus on driving to the hotel where Lilia's family resides.

The girl hasn't come to work for a week as she's taking care of her younger sibling, who had gotten sick. Lilia went to the cafe earlier to inform you that she might take another week off in case she caught her sister's cold.

That's why here you are now, driving to their current residence to give them leftovers from the cafe— chicken sinigang.

"Ay, pota." you angrily mutter when a raindrop and two spatters on your face.

You swiftly park your motorcycle by the curb and unwrap the jacket from your waist. "Please be a light rain," you sigh, slipping on the jack.

As you're zipping the jacket close, you hear a car parking behind you. But instead of shutting the engine, the driver switches on the high-beams. You glance over your shoulder as the hazard lights begin to blink.

You gesture that you'll be going now— but then another car halts in front of you, turns on their high-beams and hazard lights, and revs their engine.

Panic pumps through your heart and you feel the pulse in your throat drum wildly beneath your skin. Both cars start to inch closer towards you, and before you're completely boxed in, you hastily urge your motorcycle away from the curb. The dark heavens shriek with multiple thunders, drowning out practically every other sound, yet you hear the engines revving behind you.

Glancing over your shoulder, you see the two cars following after you. The increasing rain and their high-beams make it hard for you to perceive your pursuers. Whoever they are, evidently they are no friend.

A/N: dfdddfjksf who the fuck is chasing our dear reader?! of course, i know~ but what are your guesses? hehehe

Chapter 15 is under now constructed ion

✨TAGLIST✨

@kat-thepoet @queenofhellhasrisen @sierrasixswife @vallyb @lyuir @yvxcy @justareaderdude @sortingharryshairclip

[silcoitus]

Hi, there! I saw your post about requests for drabbles/head cannons and I def have an idea if you’re interested! How about Silco taking a liking to a super sweet glasseswearing!reader who is oblivious/in denial about him having feelings for her and she’s just like “oh, im sure he does this for everyone!” And everyone else is like “NOPE. NO HE DOES NOT”. But readers like, “nah, can’t be…b-but maybe?” And she ends up losing her glasses, reader goes to confess and is a stuttering mess BUT SHE CONFESSES TO A COAT RACK instead and silcos just behind her listening the whole time wondering how the fuck she’s managed to survive down in the under-city for so long And also that SHE IS SO PRECIOUS AND NEEDS TO BE PROTECTED AND SPOILED AND HAVE HER BRAINS FUCKED OUT. Self indulgent? Absolutely. Regrets asking this? Zero. Hotel? Trivago

Oh ho ho what a wonderful request (my first ever!). I'd like to thank @mazikomo and @deny-the-issue for being my beta readers on this! Also a first! Having someone proofread my work! Huzzah!

Notes: I’d like to introduce everyone to one of my favorite terms I learned because of one of my favorite albums “The Goat Rodeo Sessions”

“‘Goat rodeo’ is a slang term for something going totally, unbelievably, disastrously wrong, and there's nothing left to do but to sit back and watch the trainwreck”

Confessions (Part 1 of 3!)

Word count: 2.7k

Rating: Mature

Tags: Fluff, assistant reader, glasses-wearing reader, alcohol consumption, lightweight reader, soft Silco, second-hand embarassment, Sevika knows everything, Chuck makes an appearance

Read on AO3

Part 2 | Part 3

[late-to-the-party-81]

You bring me closer to God - Ch4

AN: I hope you’ve enjoyed the filth. This chapter is now deep in feels, so I hope you enjoy that too. Massive thanks to my wonderful beta @hannahshattuck with all her random screaming as she read through.

The prompt for this week is a Free Week, with the optional sub-prompt of ‘B’. I have gone for Boyfriends.

This chapter also brings my Hot Bucky Summer to a close. I’m so happy I managed all 13 weeks and I hope there was something for everyone across that time period. A massive huzzah to @buckybarnesevents for hosting. Please check out their account for each week’s master lists and give the authors some love.

Main Master list | Hot Bucky Summer Master List | Chapter 3

Summary: As Joaquín recovers he realises something isn’t quite right with Bucky. Is it time to actually talk with each other?

Word Count: 1.8k

CW: Dom Drop, After Care, Communication, Angst, Feelings, Fluff, Blow Jobs, Hand Jobs, Kissing, Sam is so done with this shit.

Joaquín wasn’t sure how long he laid a boneless, dazed mess in Bucky’s arms. Eventually though, he came back to himself and realised that a couple of things weren’t as they usually were. Firstly, he was still sweaty and sticky with cum and lube. Normally Bucky cleaned him up fairly quickly. Secondly, Bucky was silent, not whispering sweet nothings and dropping soft kisses to his cheeks.

Using all his energy, Joaquín turned over, and what he saw sent a stabbing sensation to his heart. He reached up, his fingers sweeping over Bucky’s sharp cheekbone and then threaded them into his hair, a few strands of silver starting to show in amongst the chestnut brown. He took a deep breath, and addressed the elephant in the room.

“Are you okay, Bucky? You’re crying.”

Bucky’s eyelids shot open at the inquiry. Often, when Joaquín had the chance to study Bucky’s eyes, they reminded him of a crisp winter’s day, the type he’d only experienced after he’d moved to DC, but now they were different. They were dull, the icy blue turning misty grey, more reminiscent of perpetual drizzle, a comparison which was compounded by the stream of tears.

Bucky’s face crumpled and he pulled Joaquín against him, in a crushing embrace. He cried silently and Joaquín felt the dampness of his lover’s tears on his collarbone. He was shaken to the core. He’d never seen this type of emotional reaction from Bucky. Anger? Yes. Amusement? Yes. But never sadness like this. That’s when he realised, Bucky was suffering from Dom drop - the sudden high from their scene falling away and leaving him filled with guilt and remorse along with an immense sadness. It was up to him to help him, so Joaquín tangled their legs together, and did for Bucky what Bucky normally did for him - he stroked his hair, and talked softly.

“It’s okay, mi sol. It’s okay. I’m here. I’ve got you.”

He repeated variations on these words for a few minutes, interspersed with gentle shushing, until Bucky raised his head. His eyes were red rimmed and his cheeks were flushed and damp.

“I almost lost you.” He croaked out his words. “Do you know that? I thought that missile was going to hit you. Why’d you take that risk? Why?”

Bucky’s expression was one of panic and confusion and Joaquín knew that only the truth would satisfy the deadly assassin in his arms. He let out an amused sigh, his lips turning up at the edges.

“Because I love you, Bucky. Ti amo. I saw you in danger, and I just reacted.”

Bucky’s eyes went wide as he processed what he’d just heard.

“You love me? Me? What? Why?”

Joaquín chuckled. How is he this fucking cute? He dropped a kiss to Bucky’s nose, his mouth breaking into a full smile.

“I’m trying to decide whether you’re being obtuse or fishing for compliments. I love you, James Buchanan Barnes, for a multitude of reasons. You’re handsome, brave, and funny. You’re loyal and dedicated. You’re tender and caring. And to top it off, you have an amazing dick.”

Bucky snorted and blushed at the same time.

“I’m not worth it, Torres. You should walk away. I’m a broken, centenarian murderer.”

If Joaquín had never seen Bucky sad before, Bucky had never seen Joaquín angry before. The young man cupped Bucky’s face and jerked his head up, forcing eye contact, his nostrils flaring 

“Listen here, Sergeant. I decide who’s worthy of my love. Not you. Did I intend to fall in love with you? Hell no. I knew this was just a physical release for you, and I was determined it would be the same for me. But somehow, along the way, you wormed your way into my heart. To be honest, I think I started to fall in love with you the first day we met, when you ripped that damn sleeve off your jacket. But you need to understand - you’re not broken. Maybe once, but not any more. Cracked and dented? Possibly. But who isn’t? Also, as established by various committees and tribunals, you are not a murderer. And if you’re going to bring up your age, I’ll have you know I happen to like older men, and you don’t look a day over ninety.”

His teasing had the desired effect. Suddenly, Bucky surged up, rolling Joaquín onto his back and placing kisses all over his smooth cheeks.

“You’re a little shit, you know that?”

“Whatever, Grandpa. You just have no sense of humour.”

Bucky captured his lips and Joaquín let him take what he needed. Unlike earlier though, this was less about a visceral, physical need, but more to do with a personal, emotional connection. Joaquín let it continue, reciprocating, inviting Bucky into his mouth, enjoying Bucky’s gentle domination.

When Bucky broke the kiss he rested their foreheads together.

“You love me, huh?”

“Si. So very much. Even though I told myself I shouldn’t. I hope this doesn’t change anything between us. I understand if it does though.”

“I… I care for you, Quín. Maybe it’s more than that. I don’t know. It’s been so long since I felt… love. Am I even capable of it any more?”

Joaquín shuffled in the bed, wrapping his legs around Bucky’s hips, holding him in place.

“Do you wanna find out?”

“I think maybe I do.” He kissed Joaquín again and nothing else was said for a long time.

“Where’s Bucky? We’re supposed to be wheels up in ten minutes.”

Joaquín watched Sam pace up and down the jet, filled with pre-mission nerves, from the corner of his eye as he went through all the pre-flight checks. It was a fairly low-key, local mission, so he was piloting today, but with his wings on stand-by just in case.

“I’m sure he’ll be here soon, Sam. Don’t get your panties in a twist.”

Sam stopped in his tracks, turning on his feet to face his protegee with a look of feigned outrage on his face and his hands on his hips. His lips twitched in barely restrained amusement.

“You’re speaking to me like that now? Where’s the respect? The youth of today. Jeez.”

Joaquín just grinned back at him, until his attention was grabbed by sight of Bucky swaggering up the ramp.

He’d known all along why Bucky was late. It was because he’d spent the whole night in Joaquín’s bed, doing unspeakably wonderful things to him, and had to go back to his own room when they’d gotten the call from Sam half an hour ago, in order to get a change of clothes and all of his tactical gear. It had been a hilarious few minutes, as first Bucky’s phone had gone off, while Joaquín still had his lips wrapped around him. Feeling full of mischief, he hadn’t stopped what he was doing while Bucky was on the call, seeing if his boyfriend - Boyfriend! - could keep his composure while getting head. Annoyingly, it turned out, he could. He managed to cum down Joaquín’s throat with barely a whimper as Sam gave him the mission details, something that seemed to the younger man to be thoroughly unfair.

As soon as Sam had hung up, Bucky had thrown his phone across the bed, flipped Joaquín over and started to fist his cock and kiss along his jawline, just as Joaquín’s phone had gone off.

“Answer it, baby-boy, let’s see if you can keep your cool.”

Joaquín had whimpered and bitten his bottom lip before reaching out blindly to pick up his phone and answer the call. He had no idea how he’d gotten through it, having to mute his end several times because he couldn’t keep his gasps in check, not with the way Bucky was touching him, teasing his cock in more ways than he knew were possible with just one hand. In the end he’d had to garble out a “Gotta go, see you there” and abruptly hung up on Sam, before his phone joined Bucky’s somewhere in the messy sheets.

“Not very stealthy, Falcon. Maybe you need more practice?” Whether it was the condescending tone, or the way Bucky pinched at his nipple with the fingers of his left hand that sent him over the edge, Joaquín wasn’t sure, but suddenly he was cumming with a shout and the sound of Bucky’s deep, rumbling chuckle in his ear.

Bucky dropped himself down in the co-pilot’s seat, pulled one of his knives from one of the various places about his body he kept them stashed, and proceeded to clean his nails with the tip.

“What’d I miss?” His words were directed at Sam, even if he was smiling down into his lap.

“Just our boy here being disrespectful to his elders.”

Bucky’s eyebrow quirked up, but he still kept his gaze on what he was doing with his knife.

“Yeah? Need me to put him in his place, Sam?”

Joaquín felt a mixture of panic and arousal flood through him as he gawked at Bucky, before turning his head towards Sam, who now had his arms crossed over his chest.

“Barnes, I swear to God, I don’t need to know about your sex life.”

Now both he and Bucky were staring at Sam, mouths agape.

“Come on, it’s not like the either of you are fucking subtle. Just, please, try and keep the bodily fluids contained. I don’t wanna end up sitting in either of your wet patches.” Sam shook his head and moved to take a seat near the rear of the plane, as far away from them as possible, picking up the folder with the mission briefing in it. “Fucking perverts, I swear…”

Joaquín and Bucky turned toward each other, eyes wide, both of them shocked for a few seconds, before bursting out laughing. Joaquín was the first to speak.

“Dios. I think he knows, Bucky.”

“You think?” came the quick retort, and then Joaquín felt two mismatched hands on his face, pulling him in for their first public kiss. He sagged against Bucky, hands holding onto the straps of his tactical vest.

“Get a room!” Sam’s loud shout broke them apart and set them off into another fit of the giggles. “Better yet, start the goddamn plane.”

Joaquín eased himself back with a cough, trying to ignore the smirk on Bucky’s face, and started to flip the switches in front of him. Bucky nudged him in the shoulder, getting his attention back.

“Ready to go save the world with your boyfriend?” Bucky cocked his head and his smile reached his eyes, making them crinkle at the corners. Joaquín’s heart did a backflip.

“Absolutely…”

Tag list: @jobean12-blog @krissy25 @bodeckersdiamonddoll @goldylions @luxeavenger @wheezy-stucky @doasyoudesireandlive @chemtrails-club @talia-rumlow @peaches1958 @pono-pura-vida @writing-for-marvel @kmc1989

[stayarmytinyzenmoa-l]

Damn idky but top of the class who hasn't had a break in their life is giving doyoung vibes 👀 you may interpret this as a request 👀👀👀

(Friendly) Competition

Non-Idol AU, University AU

TW: Language

Dynamic: Top of the Class who hasn’t had a break in their life + Relaxed second in the class who procrastinates too much

Pairing: Doyoung x Reader

Y/N Pronouns: Not Specified

Genre: Fluff

[Main Masterlist] | [Request Info] | [Request a Ship Dynamic]

Word Count: 0.7K

"Well, well, well," you chanted in a sing-song tone. Doyoung only groaned and flipped to the next page of his textbook aggressively and you laughed.

"We are in a library, show some tact," Doyoung glares at you. You rose your hands in the air.

"Is this what I think it is? The Kim Doyoung cramming for an exam?" You laughed quieter.

"You-" Doyoung cut himself off by taking a deep breath. "You're right. I haven't had time to study all week, so now I'm cramming, happy?" He mumbles. You took the seat parallel to him and grinned.

"Very, because now I have a study partner," you placed your laptop on the table and Doyoung looked surprised. Then, that surprise turned into suspicion.

"You never study," he says. "Why the change of heart?"

"That's not true, I'm studying now, aren't I? It's not that I don't study, it's that I save it until the very end," you slid your glasses on and placed the textbook next to you. You looked at him. "I've gotta keep my place somehow, right?" You joked before returning to your work. "You just never see me here because you space out your studying." You mumbled. Doyoung cleared his throat and returned to his textbook, a strange tension now settling in the air. He reaches in his backpack and pulls out an energy drink, placing it in front of you. You rose your eyebrow.

"You look like you need it more than I do..." he mumbles. You took the can.

"Didn't think you were one for energy drinks," you opened it and took your first drink of the night.

"I'm not... but I've also never crammed for an exam before," he says, trying his best not to meet your eyes.

"Wow... you really are a good boy, aren't you?" You teased and Doyoung's ears grew red.

"Don't... don't say it like that!" He whispers hurriedly.

"Hey, I'm praising you! It's not easy to have that kind of motivation, at least you get to relax before the exam! I relax too much then I cram!" You sighed. "Like... what am I even reading right now? When did we ever go over spectrophotometry anyway?!" You ran a tired hand down your face and Doyoung frowns.

"It amazes me how you're second only to me," he says. "That was the first thing we went over this semester," he finishes. You stared at him and he stared back.

"You're joking."

"I'm not," he says. "And, it's the easiest concept."

"You're joking!"

"It's all just basic algebra, (Y/N)!"

"Oh fuck I always tell myself not to procrastinate and I do anyway," you drink more of the energy drink. "Fuck it, fuck it, what I get is what I-" Before you could leave, Doyoung stands up and places a hand on your shoulder, promptly pushing you back onto the library's wooden chair. "Huh?" You look up at him.

"I thought you said that we're study partners, (Y/N)?" He asks. You swallowed harshly.

"Joking... I was just joking!"

"You know... I've never crammed for an exam before, I'd love to know your method."

"My method? Well, ha..." you turned away from him and pulled your textbook to the side so he could see it. "All of this," you waved your hand over the text. "Ignore this. What you want to focus on is the end of chapter contents," you flipped the page to the summaries of concepts and equations. "After you revise these, do some practice problems, and huzzah! You've successfully crammed for your exam," you grinned.

"Perfect, and I'm sure we'll get far enough to cover the final content together then!"

"Sure, yea- Wait, what?"

"I mean, I guess you could leave... if you want to get a lower score than me," Doyoung shrugs. You glare at him.

"What do you mean by that?" You shut your laptop lid slowly.

"I mean... you have an opportune moment. For the first time in my life, I'm studying last minute. Now's your chance to get one last score ahead of me, after all, aren't we tied?" He asks. Oh he really knows how to press your buttons. You opened your laptop again.

"You're on, Kim."

"I look forward to our competition, (L/N)."

General Tag List: @stopeatread @bat-shark-repellant @raeincitizen @umbralhelwolf @yangsrose @kazooms

NCT Tag List: @cherrylovr @minjiville @resonantcherry 

If you want to be added to either tag list or removed just send me a reply to this post, and ask, or a DM and I’ll add you as soon as possible!

[achangeinpriorities]

I’ve been tagged by frequent partner in headcanons @sophiainspace for the Last Huzzah To This Hyperfixation fic meme, which is appropriate as I am also likely giving a last huzzah to the Arrowverse! (Incredibly reluctantly, kicking and screaming against my brain all the way, but what can you do)

My first fic for this fandom was Your Move, on 30 November 2019, an incredibly creepy prelude-to-Eowells/Hartley that set the stage for many of my later works

My favorite fic I’ve written is…oh so many choices. The one I go back and reread most often is If You Wanna Fight (We Can Go All Night), which is playful smutty Coldwave—with an honorable mention to With Benefits, in which aro Len and ace Mick end up doing affection at cross purposes

My fluffiest fic is probably Day In, which is a Flashpiper domestic fluff interlude in the middle of a fairly angsty series—I can throw in rest-point fluff sometimes!

My funniest fic is, hands down, Floordrobe Malfunction, which is exactly what it sounds like: Lisa/Cisco/Hartley get caught in the middle of V-polyam shenanigans and end up switching clothes

My saddest fic is Worse When It’s Late, one of only two fics I went into the knowing they couldn’t have a happy ending. (The other is At All Costs, which is just about as bad)

A fic I almost didn’t post was Worse When It’s Late, just because it was so much darker than my usual fare. I’m proud of how it turned out but I was terrified of how people might react to it

The fic I most enjoyed writing is probably still Tam Len, because I loved the worldbuilding and the characters ended up taking on a life of their own, to the point that several plotty things just…resolved themselves in the end, entirely driven by the characters!

My favorite ship is…oh boy. I have loved so many ships in my time in this fandom. Coldwave maybe? What’s not to love about Coldwave—they’re queerplatonic partners in crime who would rather die than admit a Feeling. I adore them

My favorite femslash ship is probably something with Nora West-Allen? Nora/Spencer maybe…or Nora/Spencer/Joss—all of whom I wish I’d written more of (and had more plans for, before the muse forsook me!)

My favorite OT3 is Coldwestallen, because no matter which way you slice it somebody is getting ganged up on by two people who are too similar for anyone’s good, and the resulting dynamics are impeccable

My favorite non-romantic pairing is…well. If I wanted to rules-lawyer this, I’d say Coldwave, because the aro Len headcanon remains strong. However in the spirit of the question I’m gonna say Barry and his dads, both as they interact with each other and as they interact with Barry’s partners about him. There were a lot of meaty, messy dynamics there that I wish I had explored more (and that I had plans to, before the muse evaporated)

My favorite character to write is Leonard Snart, by a long shot. I vibe with his strange strange brain. He taught me so much in my time writing him. I still want to study him under a microscope. I’m going to hold onto him for a long time even if the hyperfixation is fading

My favorite neurodiversity fic (I love that this is a category, Soph) is Pride In The Little Things, with post-diagnosis feels. It’s rueful, because I think there’s often an element of that following a diagnosis, but it’s hopeful too

The fic I most clearly remember writing is Complication, a Coldflash-to-Coldwestallen fic that was meant to have more to it and got cut down for the sake of making a deadline. I’m pleased with how it turned out, but there’s another universe where it was a much messier slow burn

My favorite written-out-of-spite fic is Unplanned, in which I took out my frustrations with the ‘Mick’s head pregnancy’ plotline of Legends s6 (feat. supportive Gideon who understands what dysphoria is)

My most read fic is No Hero (No Less Loved), one of my older Coldflash fics—one I’m not overly attached to, in truth, but benefitted from being a popular pairing and having a lot of chapters to add to the hit count

My least read fic is Pride In The Little Things, my newest fic with a very rare pair indeed (Lita/Jerrie Rathaway, my and @blueelvewithwings lil ship). I didn’t expect it to get many hits at all, so seeing it with even this much interaction is surprising

The WIP I most regret not finishing is an unpublished sequel to Complication that would have built off the ideas I cut from the original fic, including appearances by Joe and Henry, and also explained why Len was so weird all throughout Complication. I hope to force myself through finishing it eventually!

My favorite gen fic is Found, a Rogues-as-family fic that was meant to set the stage for more in-depth stories that never happened. It still stands on its own pretty well though

My crackiest fic is Critical Fail, a ‘Team Flash plays D&D’ fic written at the behest of an IRL friend (who, to my knowledge, never ended up reading it—ah well, it was still fun!)

And a bonus holiday fic is By Candlelight, with Coldwestallen celebrating both a contemplative Hanukkah and a rowdy West family Christmas

I believe my co-conspirator @blueelvewithwings has already been tagged, but I’m also going to tag @a-redharlequin who has been my instigator, cheerleader, and also partner, who I wouldn’t have found without this fandom. I love y’all and I’m so happy to have spent three years plotting together!

[andcontemplation]

What if hopper and Joyce don't end up having romantic chemistry? They have mastered the "will they or won't they" chapter. It's been so long and I'm actually nervous that it won't be as special once they actually cross that threshold.

I hate to say it, but it probably won’t be as special for them in the end, regardless if they have romantic chemistry or not… I have a distinct feeling Jopper is about to go way of TV Tropes’ Shipping Bed Death or your scenario of True Love is Boring. The way I see it, there’s only a few ways their story can play out imo and really only one true path the show will take for our two lovebirds.

Joyce and Hopper finally get together only to discover…

Scenario 1 (the nsfw one) -  they only have chemistry in bed. Joyce and Hopper decide they are Better As Friends, and see each other sometimes when they feel the kids should spend the holidays together. And occasionally boink, ofc. This doesn’t work out at all and one or both end up jealous and even more unhappy, maybe even blaming one another for why they can’t work. They basically go back to where they were in the first episode ever. But there’s been a bit too much character growth for this one to happen I think. Also, see Belligerent Sexual Tension...

Scenario 2 (the unlikely one) - they have zero chemistry. Zip. Zilch. Nada. Etc. Aka the relationship equivalent of wet noodles. There’s an amicable break up and they move on to date different people. I don’t know about anyone else, but I really feel like ST is invested in a “Happily Ever After” ending for all the main characters, especially the Byers-Hopper clan. Unless they’re going to play this up as jealous Hopper (which they already did in S2) or jealous Joyce (maybe?) and start the will-they-won’t-they trope again. Or maybe they just do what my friend's parents did growing up and become Platonic Life Partners? They won’t have time to explore this Jopper ending in-depth though, and also I think Winona and David have far too much chemistry as actors… I just don’t see this scenario happening. If it did though, it's the definition of True Love is Boring.

Scenario 3 (the one we deserve) - all they do is fight. Because that’s all they know how to do with each other when they spend a significant amount of time together! They get to the point of wondering if they should break up and see other people, only for one (or both) to realize that a committed relationship doesn’t actually come easy once you’ve exchanged the first magical I Love You’s. Especially between two deeply stubborn people like Joyce Byers and Jim Hopper. They decide to work on it  (‘for the kids’) and show great progress at the very end of the series. They get to say 'I do' in the end and we get a very realistic representation of a somewhat healthy, middle aged relationship on television. Huzzah!

Scenario 4 (the one we’re getting) - it’s pure, boring candyfloss fluff. They finally hook up, maybe even get married, and roleplay Yours Mine and Ours. They still bicker, but Like An Old Married Couple. The show gives them approximately 40 min of screen time in the entirety of ST5 where they mostly hold hands and make heart-eyes at each other, or act as fodder for the kids to go “ew, gross!” The fans are happy they're happy, but we are all left feeling hollow. We live out our Jopper dreams in fanfic and fanart after the show ends. Womp womp :(

Personally, I’m setting my expectations low here. Like, low-low. I don't expect to see much of them, or their relationship when they finally do get together, just because there’s a million other plotlines to resolve in only a dozen episodes. But I am still very hopeful they at least get their happy ending, no matter how cloyingly sweet and boring it is. The writers owe it to them, after everything they’ve been through!

[ficfanatictrf]

Update

I drove an hour home in delirious state (did I wonder where I was constantly? Maybe....Going from 110 exit to suddenly being at 83 exit was confusing) All to see my precious baby cats. I will get pictures of them someday. 1 refuses to take pictures and the other likes to rub against my phone anytime I have it out. But the updates....(did I write anything update wise yet?....I drove...um) Oh! Fever is now finally gone. HUZZAH I lost 10 lbs in 3 days NO HUZZAH I bought 2 chicken quesadillas since I normally eat 3 (couldn't even get down 1/2 of 1) All the while I just want hugs....and Viktor fluff...and fluffy blankets... Sorry, when I'm sick my ADHD is a 10000 times worse...

[igarbagecannoteven]

hiya megs! heck yeah for the productivity! 🥺 🛒 ✨ ❌ 🦅🤯 (i'm always terrified with emoji asks that the emoji won't send properly but hopefully this works!) -hazel

hiya hazel!! i totally understand your fear, especially as someone who doesn't see all the emojis iphone-users have lol. but they all came through! huzzah!

🥺 - is there a certain type of moment or common interaction between your characters that never fails to put you in your feels? moments where one character is extremely vulnerable in front of another and it goes better than expected never fails to punch me in the gut it can be physical or mental vulnerability it's just. hngh.

🛒 - what are some common things you incorporate in your fics? themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc. definitely driving lol, but besides that i think a lot of my fics have a certain amount of physicality when it comes to descriptions of emotions!

✨ - give you and your writing a compliment. go on now. you know you deserve it. fineeeee i will >:( i think i'm rather good at taking premises from all over the fic spectrum and running with them without making the fic only about the premise. like it could have been easy to just take, like, "boarding school superhero sidekick who's pining after his roommate" and keep it very flat and just about the concept but i think that generally my fics tend to be about more than whatever wacky thing i started with.

❌ - what’s a trope you will never write? student/teacher really squicks me out so i'm def not writing that lol also probably omegaverse bc a) i haven't read any so i don't understand the intrecacies of the au and b) most of the ones i've heard of are *very* nsfw or nsfw-adjacent so it wouldn't really be possible for me to start exploring what it's about beyond the smut lol

🦅 - do you outline fics or fly by the seat of your pants? depends on the fic! it tends to be good for me to have some sort of ending in mind otherwise the fic will just wander for all eternity, but many of my short fics don't have much more than a vague premise. my longer fics are a very different story, especially my series: i have a very detailed outline of the road not taken series and i have a less detailed but still defined outline of where i know this whole damn city is going to go in the long run

🤯 - what’s a genre you struggle with as a writer (ex. romance, action, etc.)? getting together fics are very hard for me both because they tend to be longer and because they're so far away from my experiences. it sucks bc i have a lot of good ideas with that but realistically only a handful will make it to the finish line. straight fluff is also hard bc it doesn't generally fit into the boxes i was taught equal "quality writing" (which is bs but i was definitely taught about how to write a specific style that has little room for fluff) and i have a hard time writing things that don't have really clear, distinct conflicts. also i think i'm a harsher critic of fluff in general lol so it's very hard for me to reach a standard where i will think that the fluff i wrote is actually decent.

fanfic writer emoji ask game!

[curiosity-killed]

a bow for the bad decisions

canon-divergent AU from ep. 24 (on ao3)

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7 | part 8 | part 9 | part 10 | part 11 | part 12 | part 13 | part 14 | part 15 | part 16 | part 17 | part 18

Little Jin Ling has a wealth of uncles. He has, in fact, so many war heroes for uncles that he might as well have an army at his beck and call. Technically, he’s not to be presented for another month, at his hundred days’ celebration, but no one can really blame sworn brothers from visiting each other or siblings from checking in. As it is, Jiang Cheng is more than a little smug about being the only one out of all of them who can soothe a-Ling once he starts wailing. He might be the least powerful of the babe’s uncles, but he still has a shot at being his favorite. Well, alongside Wei Wuxian once he returns, but they always knew they would share the role. Running a featherlight thumb over a-Ling’s cheek, Jiang Cheng pictures Wei Wuxian holding their little nephew and immediately wrinkles his nose. He’ll be horrendous. He’s probably already thought of some absurd gift for a-Ling’s hundred days’ celebration, some toy horse spelled to gallop around him in circles or a kite that doesn’t need a wind to fly. Terrible. He can’t wait to see him. He’s not about to admit it aloud, but as they creep ever closer to the date, Jiang Cheng keeps finding himself picturing it, the three of them reunited with a-Ling cradled between them. “Jiang Cheng, give me back my son,” Jin Zixuan grumbles.

Raising an eyebrow, Jiang Cheng eyes his brother-in-law as if in challenge. He will chew off his own fingers before saying it aloud, but Jin Zixuan is not, perhaps, quite as awful as he’s always thought. Over the last year and a half, he has, somewhat, improved in Jiang Cheng’s eyes. 

He’s still ready at any moment to remind Jin Zixuan that his brothers-in-law wield some of the most powerful spiritual weapons in the cultivation world and are not so far removed from the children who once dunked him, fully robed, in Lotus Pier’s muddiest lake — but he has been trying. He dotes on jiejie and cried a little at their wedding, as he should, knowing how little he deserves a-jie’s love. Besides, it makes jiejie sad when they fight. Reluctantly, he passes over the sleeping baby. “If you wake my nephew—” he starts. “Yes, I know, you’ll break my legs and tell Wei Wuxian,” Jin Zixuan interrupts, but it’s in a whisper so Jiang Cheng lets it go. A-Ling doesn’t so much as stir as he’s passed into his father’s arms; his round face, so often wrinkled with an early scowl, is blissfully serene in sleep. Jin Zixuan pauses, his expression doing something terribly soft and fond as he gazes down at his son. Embarrassed for him, Jiang Cheng turns away. Jin Guangyao and Lan Xichen have already left, apparently off to talk about some lofty Lan music or practice with their guqins, but Nie Mingjue stands by the door, arms crossed over his chest. “Jiang-zongzhu,” he says and nods slightly toward the garden outside. Uneasy, Jiang Cheng still nods in acceptance and follows the older sect leader. They’re quiet at first, pacing along the pale paths of the gardens of Jinlintai. “Now that the camps have been reviewed and relocation has begun,” Nie Mingjue says as they round a corner, “it would be beneficial to speak to Wei Wuxian himself.” He’s known this was coming, but Jiang Cheng still has to stifle worry at Nie Mingjue’s comment. Of course they need to speak with Wei Wuxian — but so far, he’s been safest when he’s far from the rest of the cultivation world. They’re walking a precarious line to a peaceful future; the last thing they need is a confrontation, Wei Wuxian caught on the wrong side of the world’s blades. He nods slightly instead of voicing his concerns. “The Wen siblings are the most wanted among the prisoners,” Nie Mingjue continues, “along with Wei Wuxian himself. The destruction of the Stygian Tiger Seal may not be sufficient on its own.” Worry nestles deeper in Jiang Cheng’s chest, chews at the back of his breastbone. He still doesn’t know what to do with the warning Wen Qing gave them. She told them as much as she could in the few minutes she had, but none of it provided a solution. His brother can’t destroy the Seal without killing himself, and the cultivation world will kill him if he doesn’t hand it over. Jiang Cheng knows better than to suggest Wei Wuxian simply give the Seal to Jin Guangshan, but he’s wondered if, perhaps, he would trust Nie Mingjue to lock it away. “I’ve heard talk that the skies over Yiling are clearer now than they’ve been in memory,” Nie Mingjue says, almost a little grudging. “Whatever your errant brother’s doing, if it’s purifying the Burial Mounds, there is a chance that could be claimed as his and the Wens’ debt.” He doesn’t exactly sound enthusiastic about the idea, and Jiang Cheng frowns a little as he considers it. He doesn’t know much of what actually goes on in the Burial Mounds; Wei Wuxian’s letters are usually focused more on ideas for Lotus Pier, as if he can continue to teach their shidis while half a world away. What he does say of the Wen settlement is often idle chatter: how crops are coming in, when they finished building a drying shed, how some of the aunties sewed new robes. Little anecdotes pepper the letters, almost always featuring Wen Qing, her brother, and little Wen Yuan. Grudgingly, he’s resigning himself to the fact that he may have to recognize the boy as his nephew. He should probably talk to Wei Wuxian about bringing him into Yunmeng Jinag; any child of Wei Wuxian has a place among their ranks. His letters come through couriers or traveling parties, fat little bundles of paper brought hand-by-hand to Lotus Pier rather than the messenger arrows of Yunmeng Jiang cultivators. Reading them, Jiang Cheng wonders sometimes if this is how his father felt with Wei Changze on the road. Did his right hand send back reports of Yunmeng and the border towns? Was there the same mix of thoughtful sect business and fond chatter? He doesn’t remember much of Uncle Wei, just flickers of a warm smile and a kind hand on his shoulder. By the time Jiang Cheng was old enough for firm memory, Wei Changze and Cangse Sanren were dead. “I am sure Wei Wuxian would be happy to discuss with you,” he says now. “The group has settled into something that might serve for a more permanent basis.” Nie Mingjue nods. Jiang Cheng hesitates a moment. He’s still not really used to speaking with the other sect leaders as an equal; standing among them, he’s always half-ready to have his ideas laughed down, to be scorned into silence. “There is something else, Chifeng-zun,” he admits, “about the Stygian Tiger Seal.” Nie Mingjue’s brow furrows. As much as he looks up to Nie Mingje, Jiang Cheng has to be careful. All the sects are vying for the same limited power, and Yunmeng Jiang is still healing from the massacre. He can’t give too much away. “There is risk that destroying the seal could be dangerous,” Jiang Cheng says, carefully not saying who would be in danger. “While we are in agreement that it is too powerful an artifact to be kept in an individual’s control, it may be prudent to — contain it, instead. The Nie sect has more experience with resentful weapons than most.” He and jiejie had talked it over before, trying to find some solution. It was hard, in those discussions, not to miss their usual font of ideas, but they’d puzzled out this sketch of a plan at last. Nie Mingjue turns to face him fully, scowl deepening. Jiang Cheng always has a sense of being measured when he does this, as if Nie Mingjue is taking stock of whoever’s in front of him as he faces them. “You would not have one man control it, but you would trust one sect with it,” he says flatly. “Yunmeng Jiang and Qinghe Nie have long held each other’s trust,” Jiang Cheng answers, squaring his shoulders. “We would expect witnesses from each sect for any sealing ceremony as well as Wei Wuxian, as the creator of the Seal.” After another long moment of eyeing him, Nie Mingjue breathes out and drops his arms. His gaze turns out over the gardens, but Jiang Cheng doesn’t think he’s looking at the flowers. “He couldn’t have made it easier on us all by having it only respond to one master?” he mutters. Jiang Cheng’s not sure how serious the complaint is but— “Powerful artifacts are known to develop sentience regardless of their original loyalty,” he points out. Something like annoyance flickers over Nie Mingjue’s face, but he only exhales and doesn’t object. “And Wei Wuxian is willing to except this?” he asks. “I am still his sect leader,” Jiang Cheng retorts. Not that that’s mattered much in the past, but the other leaders could stand to remember it. There’s a moment where Nie Mingjue studies him, almost evaluative. It makes his skin crawl, but he forces himself to stand steady and meet his dark eyes. Finally, Nie Mingjue huffs out a breath and gives a short nod. “Alright,” he says. Jiang Cheng’s eyes widen and he nearly blurts out an incredulous reply but just barely manages to hold it in. Some of his mother’s lessons stuck, after all. “I’ll visit and see the settlement for myself,” Nie Mingjue says. “We can discuss containment and relocation afterwards.” “I will look forward to the discussion, Chifeng-zun,” Jiang Cheng says with a polite salute. He does not break into a grin or pinch himself to be assured that this is working out. There is still plenty of work to do. Nie Mingjue might visit the Burial Mounds settlement and decide no Wen deserves such a living; he might think long on Wei Wuxian’s outburst in Fragrance Hall and decide it is best the Stygian Tiger Seal is destroyed. There are still so many ways it can go wrong. But — but maybe it won’t. Maybe this will work and Jiang Cheng will get his brother back and the world will steady into its rhythms once more. Even if Wei Wuxian has to stay in the Burial Mounds for a little longer, to cleanse them of their resentment and thereby apologize to the cultivation world, it’s not like Yiling is so far away. He’ll be able to visit and if he persuades them to let a-Yuan study in Lotus Pier, Wei Wuxian will have that much more cause to return. He just has to be patient. It’s never been a strength, but there’s only a month till Wei Wuxian will be here for their nephew’s celebrations. He just has to keep everything rowing steadily along for that month, and then they’ll be able to talk. He and jiejie will talk Wei Wuxian out of destroying the seal and, with it, himself, and even if Nie Mingjue doesn’t agree to Nie Sect containing the Seal, surely Wei Wuxian will be able to come up with something else. He’s always been too clever for his own good; what is one more impossible thing? The two of them part, but Jiang Cheng gives himself a moment to stand in the garden and breathe in the soft sweetness of the peonies before he turns back to find jiejie. As much as he’d like to stay and coo over his nephew for the entire month until their brother gets here, he is leader of a sect. There is always work waiting for him.

[thereaderinsertlady]

heyy !! i was wondering if you could make melvin sneedly x reader fluff headcanons ?

thank you !! - ✨

Yeeeah, I gotchu! :] With this request, I decided to start platonic fluff at an young age, and end with a tiny bit of romantical fluff at an older age. I kinda put some story elements in the headcanons, too. You'll see what I mean by all that lol. Enjoy!

Melvin Sneedly x Reader - Headcanons

Platonic fluff headcanons:

You first met Melvin at Jerome Horwitz Elementary School during the fourth grade. You were a new kid, transferred from another school, and nearly everyone seemed fairly interested in you for the first couple of weeks... nearly everyone, that is. There was a little orange haired kid that always seemed neck-deep in a book bigger than his head. You... really didn’t think he was a fourth grader due to how small he was. Though, your attention was immediately drawn to him, and you tried your best to make friends with him...

However, no matter how hard you tried, he just wouldn’t be your friend!

Every time you tried to talk with him, he'd either walk away, or say that he was busy. After a while, you were starting to get a bad reputation since you were around the 'weird kid' a lot, but you didn’t care! He was gonna be your friend, one way or the other! It almost worried you that he seemed so... guarded, but nevertheless, you tried your best to befriend him. Since you both were busy during class, you'd try to talk to him during recess or lunch. When he wouldn't immediately walk away, you'd tell him about your day, and when he didn’t move then, you'd tell him about your personal life.

Usually, he'd move away or tell you to go away before the bell rang, but after weeks of you talking about everything and nothing in particular, he eventually gave up and let you talk your head off. Score! He'd never responded to your talks, but he did nod his head along sometimes!

...Though, maybe a week after that progress had been made, you got terribly sick and had to go to the hospital. Word must've gotten out at school, because you received a few cards from the kids in your class, and even one from the famous Captain Underpants... but none from Melvin Sneedly. It almost made you want to cry, honestly, but you've cried enough from the doctor people sticking needles in your arms.

A few days passed since being admitted to the hospital, and you were feeling just a little better, but you still needed to stay for a few more days. However, during that day... something incredible happened. One of the nurse ladies said a visitor wanted to come see you, saying that it was someone from school. You thought it would've been one of those boys you talk to from time to time— George and Harold, but you could just not believe your eyes when Melvin fucking Sneedly stepped into your room. You thought you were hallucinating from the medicine. Melvin reassured you that no, you weren’t hallucinating (he called you a peanut head), and said that he tried to visit you when he found out how sick you were, but visits weren’t allowed until today.

After that incident, you and Melvin grew closer and closer. He'd actually respond to your talks now, and he'll even put his book down when you sit next to him! Huzzah!

Once you and him moved onto middle school together, there was a lot of changes. Some changes were good, but... some others weren't as good. You knew Melvin was being bullied, and you've told off a few bullies in elementary school, but none of them got physical... until middle school. Some eighth grader punched Melvin in the face, effectively breaking his glasses. You only had one class with Melvin during that time, but when you saw his bruised up face, you were livid. And, the bully wasn't suspended for it, either! During lunch that day, you managed to catch the bully in the hallway. He was a large eighth grader, but that didn't scare you! So, while you thought nobody was looking, you discreetly stuck your foot out and tripped him! Nothing brought you more glee than hearing his face smack against the floor. You never got in trouble for that incident, but people began to call you a knight, or Melvin's defender. You never told Melvin that it was you who tripped the bully, but you knew he had his suspicions.

One sunny afternoon, you were at Melvin's house. You've been there a few times before, but this was the first time you'd be staying overnight there... It... was a really nice place... You've only met Melvin's mother before, but never his father. It was a bit... awkward meeting him— he was so incredibly uptight, and he was... professional, even in his own home. But, you managed to get through dinner without much of a fuss, and headed up to Melvin's room. His parents offered you the guest bedroom, and you 'accepted,' knowing fully well that you planned on staying up with Melvin the entire night in his room. He didn't like staying up late, since it would go against his usual schedule (he was very particular about doing things a certain way, and when to do them), but he reluctantly agreed. At somepoint during the night, you had fallen asleep while Melvin was talking about one of his projects, and when you woke up, you were leaning against his shoulder. Never in your life had you fell asleep on someone, but surprisingly, it wasn't an awkward experience at all. Not at all... It was rather wholesome, actually. Though, when it came time to say goodbye, Melvin said something you'd never forget. He explained that he wasn’t good with showing his emotions, and it was very logical explanation, and... you don't really remember what he said after that, but one sentence stuck out to you the most;

"I, uh. Like you. Like, like-like you."

...Unfortunately, good things never last. That day when you spent the night with Melvin, when he revealed his true feelings... was probably the last time you were going to see him in your life. Your parents said that you'll all be moving out of state, and you begged and pleaded to stay, but to no avail. You didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye to Melvin, which broke your heart into little pieces...

Romantic fluff headcanons:

Nearly twenty years passed by since then, and you've... mostly moved on. Though, you never dated anyone, so you supposed that you only moved on but so much. As of right now, you were in a grocery store, searching for your weekly bit of sustenance. Just a regular day in your regular life... Though, the grocery store got quiet all of a sudden, which was... strange, because grocery stores aren't known for being quiet. You heard whispering as well, but you did your best to ignore it while you shopped. However, you immediately knew what the people were whispering about when you turned down the next isle. Melvin mother fucking Sneedly was there. A lot of people knew about him— including yourself, but you figured he had forgotten about you by this point, which is why you haven't been actively seeking him out. It hurt, but... you dealt with it. However. He was right in front of you. You couldn’t pass up an opportunity like this. So, while trying to make yourself as presentable as possible, you walked up to him.

"Hey stranger, haven't we met somewhere?" You said, adopting a more country tone.

Melvin rolled his eyes, and— and was he always this tall? But, he turned to you with an annoyed expression, opened his mouth, and... stared at you. At first, you thought he didn’t remember you, but you saw recognition flit through his eyes.

Getting braver, you decided to talk some more, keeping up the heavy accent. "Yeah... I think I've seen ya before. Up 'dere in that Piqua Middle Schools, right? And in Elementary, too."

Melvin whispered your name so softly, that you almost didn't hear him. "Are... Are you really...?"

With a grin, you winked. "The one and only!" You said in your normal voice. "And, just for the record," you began, pretending to look around like a child about to snatch up some candy. With a content nod, you leaned up close to him and said— "I like-like you too."

The formidable CEO, the stern and famous man, Melvin Sneedly... cried that day. He hugged you like he had never hugged you before, like he was afraid that you'll disappear if he let go.

Years passed by, and you and your soon-to-be-husband have been on several dates since you've reunited. Going on dates was a little... difficult, since Melvin was so popular, and he was busy more than not, but you two managed. Kinda. You ignored the jealous looks you've received, and went along with your business. When you first kissed Melvin, though... you have never seen him more flustered than in that moment. His face was so pink! And, you never expected Melvin to be such a cuddle bug, either. Whenever he got the chance to lay down (you have to drag him to bed sometimes), he'd cuddle up close to you. It was... nice, needless to say.

However, a week before you two were supposed to have the wedding, disaster struck. Melvin got into a freak car accident on his way to work one morning, and one side of his body was completely ruined. You couldn't see him until days after the accident when he was more stable, but as soon as you were given permission to see him, you were right by his side... er, his fleshy side. The other half of his body had been robotized due to the vast extent of the damage, and you haven't gotten used to it yet. Regardless, you were there for Melvin, and nothing in the entire universe was going to make you leave for a second time.

[itsthegameilike]

Best Books of 2021

Time once again for my annual books-everyone-should-read list, as I’m in a horrendous slump and am unlikely to finish even one more book before the end of the year. Being an author is hard, and while this is perhaps not the best place to eloquate my adoration, it’s the only social media site I use. So here we go:

Empire of the Vampire - Jay Kristoff Thought I’d start out with a bang. Is Jay Kristoff often a lot? Yes. Does he read pornographic, not just in sex, but in violence? Sure. Was this the best book I read all year? I think so. Listen, it’s indulgent, it’s got many well-worn tropes including a sadly underwhelming love interest, but its also riproaringly fun. The vampires actually eat people, the main character is a half-vampire who smokes dried blood, and the historian vampire listening to the mc’s story is my favorite character of the year. It’s vampires the way they’re meant to be and I consumed its ~800 pages in a day and a half.

The Kingdoms - Natasha Pulley Natasha Pulley has managed to fully cement herself as one of my favorite authors of all time and it’s because of this book. It can be confusing and if you don’t enjoy her writing and her proclivity for technical details, it can take a number of pages to get a hold of you, but it does and it holds the best queer romance I read all year. There’s time traveling and ships and the ocean and a couple that can hold more angst than you. I read this in a day and then read it again a week later, because it wouldn’t stop sitting with me.

The Priory of the Orange Tree - Samantha Shannon I finally got around to reading this after my sister reminded me that I’d just sat down and read a 800 page fantasy book and I could probably do another. And boy was I glad I did. Every character in this book meant something to me and all of their arcs were so satisfying. It’s very much a character study in a fantasy world, with enough plot to sate those who prefer plot. I, of course, prefer character studies so I was in heaven. Seriously, if the length is daunting to you, don’t worry about it. I hardly noticed.

A Marvellous Light - Freya Marske I’m realizing all of my books might be queer, but that’s fine. I’m powering ahead. This book was lovely. It reads very much like the best of fluff and hurt/comfort fanfiction and I mean that as the highest compliment. It’s a regency era love story with lots of magic and there is almost zero plot and you don’t even care because the main couple is beautiful and funny and intricately explored. Not a stone is left unturned in who they are and what they mean to each other. A quick and heartwarming read, perfect for bad days or long winter nights.

The Last Graduate - Naomi Novik Man, this book. Listen, if you liked A Deadly Education, you will be thrilled, because this book is better. Like a lot better, actually. You’re now settled in the world and El now has friends and Orion and opportunities to use her destructive magic to its full capacity. Both El and Orion shine in this book, as they rightfully deserve to, and I won’t spoil the ending, but also, this book gets the top award for leaving me on the floor, curled in a fetal position.

Aristotle and Dante Dive into the Waters of the World - Benjamin Alire Saenz It wouldn’t be me if I didn’t include this book, mostly because the first changed my life and I still reread it once a year. Was this one as good? No. But I thought it deftly handled growing into a relationship with someone else and how complicated that can be when you haven’t done it before and Ari grew SO MUCH. The whole book I was a sobbing mess because I was so proud of him, all the time. These characters have always touched my heart and that didn’t change. They’re just as human and just as kind and Saenz’s writing is just as sparse (in a good way) and hard-hitting.

Embers - Sándor Márai My first not queer book, huzzah! Also my strangest offering, but before Empire of the Vampire came along, by far my favorite book of the year. It’s about two men in their eighties who had been friends for most of their lives, until war and a woman tore them apart. They come together and simply talk about what happened between them, exhume their friendship, if you will, and it’s a stunningly lovely look into the ways we can love each other, deeply and poignantly, while still committing harm. The turning point in this book is jarring and perfect and comes as a complete, delightful surprise.

Any Way the Wind Blows - Rainbow Rowell Okay, so if you read the second book in this series and hated it, we’re the same. You should still read this one, though, because it’s incredibly good and rights a lot of the wrongs of the second. Simon and Baz are treated with such care and their relationship is given so much room to grow and shine and you get to see just how much they love and respect each other, how willing they are to fight for each other. It also has one of the best breakup scenes I’ve ever read ever. As an aside, while perhaps polarizing, I thought Agatha was given her best arc yet and she really deserved it.

The Poppy War - R.F. Kuang I’m just putting the first book in this series on the list, but all three are incredible and must reads. They can often been quite harrowing, as they’re directly based on the Second-Sino Japanese War. You get everything, though. You get the wise, but slightly deranged mentor, connections with gods, white colonizers as the villains, and the best friendship I have read in ages. Maybe of all time. Rin and Kitay are everything to me. Their relationship is complex and full of love and they have one of those good old fantasy life bonds and I just... ugh this series is so good.

The Binding - Bridget Collins I read this too long ago to form like a good summary of this, but its a love story to stories and a beautiful study of pain and the ways in which we try to cope with it, sometimes vastly to our own detriment. The main couple is beautiful and you spend the whole novel rooting for them and I don’t know what else I have to say, only that I gave it five stars and I remember that those five stars were well deserved and wholehearted.

HONORABLE MENTIONS: Down Comes the Night - Allison Saft, The Lost Writings - Frankz Kafka, The Jasmine Throne - Tasha Suri, The Sailor Who Fell from Grace - Yukio Mishima, Dark Rise - C.S. Pacat (god if only the beginning had been as banger as the end), Our Violent Ends - Chloe Gong