#it's just morning what could have been

[istopaskingmemate]

dude I just watched osp new jttw vid and omg priness iron fan or Immort Iron Fan I guess is such a girl boss at the end. standing up to her horrible ex-husband, working to better herself and succeeding not to mention having a somewhat mutually positive relationship with the monkey king. Complete girl boss. I can't believe lmk deprived us of girl boss pif. like whyyyyy

we could have an angry villain bull ex-husband and chill girlboss ex-wife that only tolerates each other presents for the sake of their son whom they love dearly but instead, they gave us a loving villain couple who are somewhat emotionally abusive to their son.

[caeslxys]

I’ve mentioned this elsewhere but it feels relevant again in light of the most recent episode. Something that’s really fascinating to me about Orym’s grief in comparison to the rest of the hells’ grief is that his is the youngest/most fresh and because of that tends to be the most volatile when it is triggered (aside from FCG, who was two and obviously The Most volatile when triggered.)

As in: prior to the attack on Zephrah, Orym was leading a normal, happy, casual life! with family who loved him and still do! Grief was something that was inflicted upon him via Ludinus’ machinations, whereas with characters like Imogen or Ashton, grief has been the background tapestry of their entire lives. And I think that shows in how the rest of them are largely able to, if not see past completely (Imogen/Laudna/Chetney) then at least temper/direct their vitriol or grief (Ashton/Fearne/Chetney again) to where it is most effective. (There is a glaring reason, for example, that Imogen scolded Orym for the way he reacted to Liliana and not Ashton. Because Ashton’s anger was directed in a way that was ultimately protective of Imogen—most effective—and Orym’s was founded solely in his personal grief.)

He wants Imogen to have her mom and he wants Lilliana to be salvageable for Imogen because he loves Imogen. But his love for the people in his present actively and consistently tend to conflict with the love he has for the people in his past. They are in a constant battle and Orym—he cannot fathom losing either of them.

(Or, to that point, recognize that allowing empathy to take root in him for the enemy isn't losing one of them.)

It is deeply poignant, then, that Orym’s grief is symbolized by both a sword and shield. It is something he wields as a blade when he feels his philosophy being threatened by certain conversational threads (as he believes it is one of the only things he has left of Will and Derrig, and is therefore desperately clinging onto with both bloody hands even if it makes him, occasionally, a hypocrite), but also something he can use in defense of the people he presently loves—if that provocative, blade-grief side of him does not push them—or himself—away first.

(it won’t—he is as loved by the hells as he loves them. he just needs to—as laudna so beautifully said—say and hear it more often.)

[densitywell]

there's nothing orym would ask of the other hells that he wouldn't do himself, which is sort of the problem, really

[todayisafridaynight]

good morning

[chrollohearttags]

not even to wake up in a haterrific mood on such a beautiful morning but I feel like I gotta say something. Especially when I’ve been seeing a multitude of posts critiquing black writers and seeing so many of amazing moots leave. (and reminder that the anon button is OFF so you will argue with the wall or get that ass cussed out publicly, your choice. And if you feel brave enough to come to my DM’s, I got something there for you too 🤗 so feel free) but I am so so so SICK of seeing these very unnecessary and annoying standards being placed on black writers. I’ve said this once and I’ll say it again that the goalpost keeps moving for us. It went from the toxic, plug, sneaky link, etc fics are harmful and damaging to us as black women to now I’ve had the displeasure of seeing that modern AU’s in general are problematic and we should write more canon AOT stories (I wish I was making this up). Don’t know about you but I want no parts of that depression fest. Especially because the ONE black person was basically observed like some type of mystical being. I’ll pass on the whole ‘why does your hair feel like that’ and a handmade’s mammy tale of tending to a war criminal’s wounds in a jail cell. Regardless, all of this is rooted in a respectability and projection issue. Because as I’ve said before, none of these critiques started until the TikTok girls started publicly bashing black writers and using them as a ploy to get views because doing it to other groups who write the SAME tropes with a “digestible” packaging would’ve gotten them backlash. So as does everyone on this hellscape of a planet, they use black women as a punching bag and laughing stock to garner engagement. Now you’ve got an influx of people regurgitating these same things and making others feel bad for what they write. I’ll be honest, a lot of these tropes/stories that I see, they’re not exactly my niche, mainly because I don’t smoke, I don’t do parties and stuff like that so I can’t resonate with it (don’t come at me, I got asthma and social anxiety, bitch 😭) but that doesn’t make me love/wanna read them any less. I love seeing different perspectives and being in another set of shoes for a while. There’s nothing wrong with that because as long as black women/enbies are happy and confident in what they write and it’s not causing harm, I’m going to support ten toes down because we need representation, we need that community and I’ll be damned if I turn my nose up in the air at anyone just trying to express their creativity. What I WON’T support is a bunch of hateful, nasty spirited shrews parading around in clean girl cosplay and bashing others to be seen as acceptable and ‘one of the good ones.’ Not liking smut doesn’t make you a better reader/writer, not liking modern AU’s and ‘overused’ tropes doesn’t make you some prophetic, divine person and sitting up in anons and on the dash, reporting fics because YOU personally don’t like them doesn’t make you superior. And running everyone else off of here won’t make your writing any better. What does it make you is a loser, a cornball ass bitch and a lazy bum. Because the energy you exert into being haters, you can simply open a Google doc or draft on here and write what fulfills you. Be the change you want to see in the world or whatever they say. Also, a lot of us ARE writing these very scenarios you all are claiming you want to see. We can also see the notes count in comparison to the ones being deemed so horrible so again? You as the consumer determine what’s popular and not. We’re only going to write what’s going to be seen. Anyways, black women/femmes/enbies, I love you. I love your stories, I love your portrayals of our favorite characters whether they’re a drug dealer or a doctor, I love seeing y’all on my dash and I hope that you continue to grow in your writing journeys. I hope that you write what brings you joy and block out all the bullshit. Stay safe and have a wonderful weekend! 🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾

[enhanced-operatives-division]

Junicrane/Starstruck Ramble

I will not be brief, all under the cut

To clear some things right off the bat:

No corpse, no proof with Juniper. Obligatory this is set in a canon where he's alive and adjacent to the agency in some way.

Reggie & Juniper are just gay to me, but I don't mind any interpretation of their sexuality

The games are set in 1967/68 to me (based on a couple bits in game) which is before it was legal to be gay in America at least (1971), which is relevant to how I interpret canon as being somewhat grounded in reality, despite unrealistic elements.

This is just an insane amount of headcanons/elements of and AU all culminated into one post. I will talk about some headcanons like they're just facts because they are established in my head, and it saves me over explaining literally everything, however I will explain some parts a little bit for clarity.

Alright. Actual beginning of the ramble:

Juniper is a character to me who had gotten so lost in his job as an actor and a social presence that in the end his whole life revolved around that 'role'. Because of this, by the time he's put into the situation where he's around the Agency, he basically knows nothing about himself, though he doesn't realise at first. Furthermore, what little identity he had has changed in so many ways. He's no longer a beloved famous actor in the prominence of public light, he's legally dead and he tarnished his career just before he was supposed to die, with the bonus of that making him lose the majority of his estate. From that, he also has horrific facial scarring from the electrical burns from literally having his face fried. I believe a friend of mine made a post about this a while ago (I also think they were the first to think it up also), but, to me, Juniper has a permanent trimmer in his right arm (aka his dominant hand) from the electrical current and it is messing with his nervous system.

All in all, he's not doing great, but he's too proud to admit that he's not doing great, because if anything, what's left of his ego is all he has as a defense since he's deep in unfamiliar water.

Before ending up around the agency (I have multiple interpretations of this, so I'm just going to bring it up generally), he'd never actually seen Reggie, and his only impression of him is a single voicemail, which was his only reference he had to later impersonate him. Juniper probably has very little feelings other than the ones he projects onto him because of Phoenix and that, at the very least, he's physically attracted to Reggie to some degree (that's like the beginning of how everything else would tumble into place in this sort of interpretation at least).

And on Crane's side? His feelings towards Juniper are probably very intense and muddled. On the one hand, he adores musical theatre, and that's his now ex-favourite actor. The thought of just casually being around him blows the bit of fanboy in him away at first because THAT'S the GUY, plus the inklings of a celebrity crush which still poke at him. And then there's the rational side of him, which knows Juniper has committed absolute atrocities on the side of Zoraxis, and hates him for that. Then there's how much Juniper comes off as an asshole at first because he refuses to cooperate with anything the Agency tried to put in place. He finds Juniper endlessly frustrating, and yet he's stuck working with him since, afterall, he's the one who knows the Agency's history with Juniper the best. I imagine him acting a lot like how he does IEYTD 1 around Juniper.

At this point, I'm just describing the pitch for a romcom.

I think the start of their relationship with one another largely started with Juniper trying to wind Crane up. It was a way of getting his attention, and I don't think Juniper knows why he's so dead set on that at first, because I don't think he realises he has a crush on 'this grump' at first. (I think that's actually the fun part about these two, because it's almost like a role reversal of the celebrity crush dynamic. This ex-big name actor has a TERRIBLE crush on an average joe and it is KILLING HIM.) But of course the Agency keeps them together because Juniper is at least conversing with Crane, so it's a start.

Through one way or another, they actually get talking casually, at least mildly at first. It takes Juniper a long time to fully deconstruct the wall he's built, and the thing is, Crane isn't the one trying to deconstruct it, at least at first, because yeah, Juniper realises if he wants Reggie to actually like him in any way, he can't keep winding him up. So they talk. Small talk at first, something rhythmic and almost easy to keep to a script. And over time that turns into actual conversations. Genuine ones in which Reggie rips out the occasional one of his jokes which Juniper is endlessly endeared about. The way he smiles just before he makes them, like he wants to chuckle at what he's about to say before he says it. That's probably when Juniper realised that he does have some vague crush on him, and that it wasn't going away.

This is what kickstarts John I can't-buy-you-things-to-impress-you-so-acts-of-service-it-is Juniper to do little things for him. It mostly starts off as him trying to make Reggie his tea how he likes it. However, the nerve damage in his arm makes that hard, as the weight of the kettle and trying to pour is hard all of a sudden. And he refuses to accept that, so he tries for a very long while. Long enough that Crane would go to investigate what was going on. And when he does see Juniper leaning over a cup with the kettle as he uneasily tries to pour it, and when Crane asks Juniper responds so matter-of-fact that his intention is nothing but genuine. And it catches Reggie off guard because Juniper hadn't done anything like that up to that point, and his very apparent vulnerability is so clearly on show.

It shifts something between them.

From that point on, conversations are longer, more familiar. Both of their attitudes soften, and Reggie makes more jokes. Juniper learns how to better use his left hand while strengthening his right back to a point where it could be used again. Slowly, they're both spending time with one another not because they have to, but just because they can. Little bits at first, not too far outside what they already were doing, but those little bits turned into long bits to a point where the other person's company was genuinely desirable.

As time passes, Juniper probably realises that he doesn't genuinely know much about himself or what hobbies he's into, because he never really had the time when he got big, and his home life in his youth wasn't bad, but it wasn't picturesque. I think Reggie would pick up on it, and absolutely try to introduce him to some things he's into. Some things stick, other things don't (corn husking very much stays Reggie's passion, and John will go with him sometimes because it's him, but it's not something he strongly cares for). Crane introduces him to a lot of music, and it's something that becomes a staple between them, with tracks they listen to more than others (tragically, I know relatively little about 60s music so I couldn't really say what). Occasionally they dance, never anything intense, think slow dancing, but the closeness is nice.

Through all of it, Juniper is battling the worst crush of his life, and he can't stand it, because I think he struggles to read people since he doesn't have anything like a script or a director to refer back to, so he has no idea if Reggie likes him back or if he's just desperate for that to be true. I think because of that any sort of confession between them would be incredibly raw, not only because of the time they live in making it hard for them to be truthful about how they love, but because it's a complete show of Juniper who's worked to be this better person. I don't exactly know how that would go, mainly because I don't have one set version of their dynamic, this post is just a generalisation of main consistent points.

Reggie does like him back, because he's gotten used to Juniper being just this guy, not a figure in the public eye, not a Zoraxis lackey, and not any sort of Agency operative (despite being under their care to some degree). He's someone he genuinely cares for, because they've given one another the time of day to learn one another, and I think because Reggie was a field agent, he was a lot better at reading Juniper than Juniper was at reading him. Eventually Juniper's company becomes something he could see around him for the rest of his life, and I think he accepts that he likes Juniper a lot more gracefully.

I think any affection directed at Juniper would at first be met with him feeling a little muddled. Reggie was a very physically affectionate person when he could be, and sure the initial flirting with one another came with the occasional little touches, but everything now was so deeply intentional. I also don't think Juniper would almost ever get over the novelty of being able to kiss him, or many other gestures, because it made the fact that they were together so very real, and it was great. I do think it comes easier to Reggie, and it's a big way of showing how much he cares, so it's important for Juniper to try and show it back because he knows how much it means to the other.

I like the idea of them eventually living with one another, too. I think Juniper would have always had a quiet little daydream of sorts where he does just live a domestic quiet life, and he can with Reggie (well, as close as they can get between the Agency and Zoraxis always being at odds), and he loves that, and he loves him, and it's immense.

I think they cook for one another a lot, it helps Juniper work on his dexterity in a controlled environment, which means a lot because it's a huge point of insecurity (that and his scars). He does improve, and Crane is proud of that and shows it and it's great. I also think they'd probably cook together too, because they can deal with being in the kitchen together and they work well with one another. It's probably a good way for them to unwind because over time they can do it in relative silence.

As I said before, I also think music is a staple in their household, and that Reggie listens to things on vinyl almost all of the time because he likes the background noise. Sometimes Juniper will catch him chuntering along to the music which he finds endlessly endearing. I wouldn't put it past his dramatic ass to also join in to fluster Reggie, but I also don't think Reggie would mind that terribly because Juniper has listened to the music enough to know the lyrics, and that's huge to him.

I don't think they are without rough patches, no relationship is, but I think the good part about them is that they're willing to talk about it (... eventually). They're used to long conversations, and while they're often less fun conversations, they're needed and they know that, and it works out.

Alright. I think I'm done for now. I haven't mentioned everything, but this definitely got the worst of it out of my system. If you ever want to hear any specific thoughts my ask box is open but other than that, behold my general dynamic for these two which has been festering in my head for years. I think they're great

[alagaesia-headcanons]

Eragon and Nasuada are both well loved characters with a lot of good qualities, but they also have some serious flaws and make some grave mistakes. For example, I feel they're objectionable treatment of Murtagh has been discussed relatively often. However, I think they need Way More criticism for how utterly negligent they were in preparing for the confrontation with Galbatorix. Without the outside benefit of genre awareness, it's so egregious how they almost never even try to come up with a plan to kill him. I feel like it springs from inexperience, being overwhelmed, and arrogance, but it's so severe because the ramifications extend to countless lives beyond their own. And no matter the reasons for it, neither of them ever then acknowledge this failing and amend for its consequences, and that is inexcusable. The fact that the first and only plan they ever had to defeat Galbatorix (which immediately fails btw), Eragon came up with hours before the final battle is honestly sickening. Considering their war is justified by a moral basis, the Varden's ethics, specifically in their leaders are all but non-existent.

Why???!!!! It feels like they take no responsibility for their allies! Their concern for them is vague at best and doesn't inform their actions. It's as if they believe that because these people willingly joined their cause knowing they could die, they as leaders are free of blame for anything that happens to them, which is a naive and indulgent misconception. Their decisions still determine those people's fates! And in regards to the eventual fight against Galbatorix, that potential fate they're taking a chance with should they lose is all their allies being slaughtered, down to the very last man. For a start. But Eragon and Nasuada are too young to shoulder that weight as their stations demand and too arrogant to admit their inability, so they just leave it by the wayside.

[bedlamsbard]

man, nothing says it's been a while since I watched an MCU film in full than having to go back a couple of years to clear gifsets out of my likes, unless it's something like CATWS or BW where things tend to pile up because I watch them too often to clear them out.

(I used to do this with TCW and Rebels episodes back in the day, it is a very long-established Tumblr usage of mine. which is why I do get annoyed at "you shouldn't just like stuff, you need to reblog it" posts on Tumblr: you never know how someone is using their likes.)

[blindmagdalena]

Blowjob

this is hands down the funniest ask i've ever gotten. i'm sorry if this is a legit request but it just. i cannot stop laughing. the simplicity. the ambiguity. so straight forward. says so much and yet so little. i love you anon. i've never felt more like a p0rn site search bar in my life.

[tomwambsgays]

when greg realizes that tom meant it when he said that he was smart, ambitious, and loyal, now that he said it in front of other people without a hint of sarcasm [for Day 3 of tomgregweek: the italicized "oh" moment]

[novelconcepts]

Being married to someone who also wears glasses, but doesn’t need them HALF as much as I do is wild. Like she’ll just take off her glasses and hand them to me for cleaning. While. She is driving. If I do that? Congrats, I’ve killed us both before the next cross street. With glasses off, my world is shapey blobs of color. I haven’t been able to make sense of distance objects since I was like ten. She? Is fine! (But I’m still instinctively clutching the dashboard in a panic.)

Similarly, she’ll be talking about something in the new shower, and I’ll just be nodding sagely along. And then, five minutes into this convo, she realizes: “You can’t see in the shower, can you?” No. No, my love. I certainly cannot. Saved me SO much stress immediately after surgery, I can tell you. Couldn’t have told you WHAT my incision situation looked like. Also might as well be doing the whole thing with my eyes shut, but y’know. We take what we can get.

[da-proti-toku-grem]

why can't anyone understand that everyone is different and not everyone likes the same things and that it's completely okay AND normal for someone not to like going out and preferring to stay at home :/

[thebirdmanhewatches]

Image description a mostly monotone grey brown comic the comic goes: “I found my old camp” jeff looks at a shack surrounded by greenery “but there was a man inside” jeff looks into the shack door at Tim sitting cross legged on the floor, a close up of Tim’s face from the side profile staring at Jeff “and when he looked at me I got the sense that he’d lost everything to that thing” jeff standing in the door frame backlit “and if I ever stopped running” jeff looking to the side at the operator which is emanating static and goes beyond the panel “I would too” end image description

I spread my Jeff the killer no top surgery no binder tank top agenda

[rabbit-rays]

image id: a digital painting of murderbot and miki walking next to each other down a hallway. miki is gesturing with one arm and murderbot is looking up at it with a small smile. end id.

request for @squidbroom <3. this is like. uhmmmmm. if miki had lived or something i just wanted them hanging out and chilling tbh

[coquelicoq]

i understand being disappointed that the kurodachi kiss was off-camera because of what it implies about extratextual attitudes towards depicting gay affection. but from a storytelling perspective, for this particular story, i really liked how they shot that scene actually! specifically i liked that the camera focuses in on their hands, because i found their hands more relevant in that moment than whatever was happening with their faces (smooching, presumably).

this scene is happening in the context of the earlier scene on the bridge when adachi was reaching out his hand to touch kurosawa in order to secretly read his thoughts. up to this point adachi's hands have been, or have at least held the latent potential of being, a weapon adachi can wield against people, a way for him to violate their privacy should he choose to do so. in fairness to adachi, usually he hears people's thoughts without actively trying. but the fact remains that he could. and he did try on the bridge, which judging by kurosawa's brokenhearted reaction was a clear violation of kurosawa's trust (as well as an admission that adachi didn't trust kurosawa enough to believe his words).

adachi can hear thoughts through any part of his body, but it's his hands that he can purposefully reach out with. it's his outstretched hand that gives him away when kurosawa turns around and sees him on the bridge. and it's always been (i think) kurosawa in the past who has initiated hand-holding, and often when it happens, the camera cuts away to adachi's face for his reaction and then returns to their hands to show us adachi's fingers curling around kurosawa's in return. lots of things happen to adachi that are out of his control, but he can control his hands. he makes choices with his hands. his hands represent his intentionality.

adachi's power creates an imbalance in their relationship because it only goes in one direction; in the past, their touches have always given adachi some information about what kurosawa feels for him, but not the reverse. the great thing about the kiss scene is that they've just sat down and communicated clearly with each other about both the nagasaki transfer (the thing they were hiding their feelings about during the bridge scene) and adachi's accident. they are being open, consensually and reciprocally. they're on an even footing. adachi thinks "how can i make him feel all the love i have for him?" and that's when he touches him. this touch has nothing to do with adachi reading kurosawa's thoughts - presumably that is happening incidentally (though in a further sign that that is not the point of this touch, we the audience do not hear kurosawa's inner voice here), but this touch is adachi's way of communicating to kurosawa the way that adachi feels. it's an inversion of their usual dynamic. it's touch as true, two-way intimacy.

one more thing and then i promise to shut up about this. adachi reaches out after seeing the way kurosawa, who has just apologized for being a mess (aka having emotions), is compulsively squeezing his own hands together in a crushing anxiety grip in his lap. adachi can by now i think recognize these as symptoms of the classic kurosawa self-blame spiral. he touches kurosawa's head with one hand and with the other takes one of kurosawa's hands and replaces kurosawa's fingers with his own. and it's their two hands, not their faces, that the camera focuses on while they're (presumably) kissing. this means that the story's answer to "how can i make him feel all the love i have for him?" is not "kiss him" or "sleep with him" but rather "hold his hand" - something that they've done before but that is being given new meaning in the context of their conversation (see above) and that is being initiated by adachi for the first time. we know that adachi has lost the magic by the next scene, which presumably means they had sex after this, but the story completely downplays the loss of adachi's virginity (which i appreciate, because i'm always looking for interpretations of this show that fit my The Concept of Virginity Is Stupid and Reductive agenda, especially when "the magic is about insecurity" is right there). the cherry-popping (barf) is not as important to adachi's arc as the fact that he proved in this scene that he has grown past the need for the magic and that he's ready to explore emotional and physical intimacy without it.

okay i lied, last thing. i mean it this time though. not only does adachi initiate, he also interlaces their fingers, which i think might be another first (usually they just clasp hands or kurosawa curls his hand around adachi's). which is like! a visual representation of the stuff adachi keeps trying to communicate to kurosawa throughout the rest of the movie!! interlocking their fingers is saying: when you're weak, i'll be strong. it's saying: we'll go together. it's saying: i know you're beating yourself up over this, and you don't need to. i don't want you to. you're enough. we're enough. we're together. we're a team!!!

[permanentreverie]

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