#it's just so hard

[harpoonsnotspoons]

About to give into the temptation of coming off break early looks at you with my pleading eyes

[emometalhead]

I write something like this every year. In all honesty it's hard for me to talk about Chester. I think about him every single day. It's now been six years without him, and it still doesn't feel real that he's gone. I still don't know how to cope with it. I still can't think about him for too long without crying.

Chester has been such an important figure in my life for as long as I can remember. I was raised on Linkin Park. They will forever be one of my favorite bands even if some songs are too painful to listen to now. My own mental health journey has been difficult. I'd be lying if I claimed to be doing totally fine, but I live each day trying to honor Chester's memory and make him proud. He's a big part of the reason I am who I am, and he's a big part of the reason that I'm still here today.

If you see this, please give someone you love a hug. Tell them you care about them. Cherish the moments you have with the people that matter. Listen to your favorite artist and keep them in your mind for a while. Do something nice for yourself. We all owe it to ourselves to allow some kindness in our lives. In words that Chester once sang, "when life leaves us blind, love keeps us kind".

[allthebooksandcrannies]

I am so tired y'all.

My brother apparently told my mom that I mentioned that my coming out to get didn't go nearly as well as when I came out to him the other day. This isn't his fault, I didn't think to ask him not to tell her but I really should have considering she's almost certainly where I get my rejection sensitive dysphoria from.

First I got a text from her saying my brother had told her and expressing confusion since she thought the conversation "went about as well as it realistically could have." Honestly I don't disagree. Knowing her, it literally went almost word for word how I expected it based on past conversations and conflicts. But that didn't mean it didn't still hurt when her attempts to be supportive made me feel invalidated and alone.

I took an hour or so to calm down and get my thoughts together. Then I wrote a long message apologizing for hurting her and explaining why I felt that way. I was so careful to use my "when you said this... I felt this..." statements, to make it clear that I knew some of these feelings were not rooted in insecurity or fear instead of reality, while also admitting that while I knew she was trying to support me I did not feel supported. I repeatedly told her she did nothing wrong and I wasn't mad at her, just disappointed that she didn't feel the way I had hoped she would while acknowledging that we're both valid to feel how we do.

I really thought that would be the end but I should have known better. I got back a massive essay of defensive backlash that I really should have expected explaining why everything I said was wrong and not at all what she was trying to do (despite me having already said with each point that I logically knew those were not her intentions, just how I felt when they happened). She says I was hiding her and assuming I knew why she did everything she did and that I should have known better than to feel like I needed to comfort her in that moment since she's a grown woman who doesn't need her kid to manage her emotions (as though I haven't been her personal therapist since I was seven years old).

She told me I make her feel like I'm ashamed of her, that I judge her, and think less of her because of her beliefs.

What do I say when that's completely true? How can I not be ashamed when the woman who taught me to treat others how I want to be treated and to stand up for the oppressed tells me herself that she doesn't see anything wrong with genocide and ethnic cleansing bc "if you don't kill them all the next generation will attack you when they grow up" and "they brought it upon themselves by not leaving and tolerating Hamas." How can I not think less of her when the person who taught me to always look into the sources and keep an open mind to new evidence refuses to do the same and calls me elitist and brainwashed when I share someone I learned

[killerandhealerqueen]

Got rejected from another job opportunity...

[the-magicians-ravens]

I finished a nearly-final draft of my pynch fic and I'm at the stage of editing in which I'm wondering what the fuck am I even doing...I do not know these characters like at all actually I am but an intruder to their world.....

[waitingforminjae]

time for the first round of do i really want to go home or do i just need to eat 🤔

[siren-serenity]

Hi Sirennnn<33 do you have a picrew of your persona or a drawing? I need to draw you for the interactionᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

noooo i'm terrible at art!! i literally cannot draw anatomy for my life T-T

i have this small drawing from when mero did an interaction with my oc: siren!

she's the one on the right, coella is on the left!! siren's kinda androgynous so if you draw her as masculine, it's totally okay!!

[atlasscrumpit]

IT'S A SCAM, OKAY?

DRAWING IS A SCAM. Artists always say that it takes practice. YEAH IT DOES BUT YOU WERE ALSO BORN WITH THAT TALENT BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN PRACTICING FOR EIGHT YEARS NOW AND I STILL CANT DRAW A PERSONNNNNNN

IT'S A SCAMMMMM

ARTISTS ARE GODS SENT FROM HEAVEN TO TRICK US

What is wrong with me 😂

[the-myrda-weapon]

For personal reasons* I will be withdrawing from polite society and living as a hermit in the caves of AoNZ. Thank you all for your company

*Gay pirates

[keroppihao]

trying to learn a new language all alone is sooooo hard like how am i supposed to stay motivated 😭

[jhessail]

*sees the icon update on YGO Duel links* Oh shoot, I need to finish Arc-V. Can't believe we're at Vrains.

[lonesome--hunter]

Scared that I might not be able to write again :(

[gvmmyvel]

i embarrass myself everyday it's getting annoying

[ackee]

to all my mutuals and friends. im so sorry

[koddlet]

personal rules for winter ❄

[midnight-coffee94]

No single line has ever wrecked me as hard as this one from the Good Place and I think about it constantly