#it's like those third grader insults that hurt so bad

[mikakuna]

jason telling black mask he smells and needs to take a bath in his arkham knight dlc is something i didn't know i needed <3

[euphoria-vmin7]

Heartworm | pjm

pairing: park jimin x reader

genre/warnings: childhood friends to lovers, angst (I can’t write anything else), fluff, a shit ton of cliches, non idol! au, TOO MANY FEELZ, um does black-haired jimin count as a warning? THIS IS SOME REAL DRAMATIC SHIT

words: 26,141 (omg u need to calm tf doWN REY)

--summary: maybe you shouldn’t have believed that friendships lasted forever. after all, people change and grow before choosing a path. but maybe fate can pull a few more strings for you. especially after you realize that a certain friend means more to you than you first thought.

a/n: i dont know what to say lol....idek what this is anymore. I started this at the end of september. SEPTEMBER. I wanted to publish this for his birthday but I’m a slow ass writer. plus i didn’t expect it to get this long. i just kept writing and writing and came up with this MESS soooooo.....happy jimin day?

Heartworm

heart·worm

n. a relationship or friendship that you can’t get out of your head, which you thought had faded long ago but is still somehow alive and unfinished. 

***

At five years old, you hurt someone for the first time. 

But you are only five years old so you aren't as strong as you think you are. You fully intend on being intimidating, but all that comes across is a whine as you shove the chest of the boy in front of you.

You had been minding your own business, enjoying your time on the playground during your regularly scheduled recess time at preschool. You were trying your absolute hardest to use strands of grass to spell out your name on the pavement. Your tiny fingers would reach over to the patch of grass next to you and pluck out a piece before laying it gently to form the letters. A small smile played on your face and your tongue occasionally peeked past your lips in concentration. 

You felt so at ease, just as any other five year old would have felt. A light breeze blew through your short hair and the sun was high up in the sky, making it easy for you to see your own shadow crouched over the art you were creating. 

You had just gotten to the last letter when things had to go wrong. 

A soccer ball came whirling down and hit the pavement in front of you with a loud smack. The force of its impact scattered the grass you had placed on the ground and it bounced away. 

You look down at the now meaningless pieces and utter disappointment blossoms your chest. Unknowingly, your eyes began to fill with tears. You stand up with tiny fists curled at your sides, looking around for the culprit. The horrible meanie head that decided to ruin your art. 

"I got it!!" you hear someone yell and a boy bounds past you. You watch him go pick up the ball and begin walking back to his friends and anger flares in your chest. 

"HEY!" 

The boy looks at you in surprise. 

"You meanie!"

"What?" he asks in confusion. You take a good look at him. He was basically your height, with fair skin and crescent shaped eyes. He had chubby cheeks and plump lips that were curved into an awkward frown. You curl your lip in distaste. 

"You messed up my drawing!!" you yell angrily, stomping your foot on the ground. He blinked. 

"W-What drawing?" he asks, now holding the ball under his arm. 

You dramatically point at the ground where your scattered grass lay and the boy squinted. He could briefly make out the remnants of some letter of the alphabet and he turned back to you. 

"Oh sorry," he smiles sheepishly. But you weren't having it. 

"That took me a bajillion hours!! You bad poopy head!!" 

He gasps at the horrid insult. 

"I am not a poopy head!!" he yells back. 

"You are!!" 

"No I'm not!!" 

"You are!!" 

"I'm not!!" he says back, now glaring at you with a childish hand on his hip. "And your drawing is so ugly!" 

You gasp, slapping a hand over your heart as though he had physically hurt you. 

"You-!" you spluttered over your words, the anger now taking over. "You are a poopy head!!"

You step forward, placing your stubby hands on his chest and shoving him hard. The boy yelped as he lost balance, stumbling back a few steps before landing on his butt. 

His head whipped up, brows furrowed in an angry frown. 

“WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU?! YOU’RE SUCH A BABY!!” he yelled. 

Your anger fizzled out and was instead replaced by sadness and disappointment. The fact that your grass artwork was destroyed and the way this boy was yelling at you made your lip shake. More tears started pooling in your eyes. 

“Y-You’re a bad p-people!” you whimpered pathetically, raising your chubby fists to your cheeks where tears started trailing down. The boy stood up, a frown still on his face as up picked up the ball that had slipped out of his grasp when he had fallen over. 

You, having dramatic tendencies like any five year old, started crying for real, putting your face in your palms. You heard some shuffling. 

“H-Hey now,” a small voice muttered. “Please don’t cry. I’m sorry for being a poopy head. Your drawing was not ugly,” 

You raised your head slightly, your tears halting too quickly. 

“R-Really?” you sniffled. 

He smiled widely, showing off pearly white teeth with a few gaps in between. He nodded eagerly. 

“Yup!” he chirped. “The ball fell on it while we were playing. Sorry!” 

Your tears halted completely and you too beamed at him. 

“It’s okay! Wanna be friends with me??” 

“Yeah!!” he said excitedly. 

“I’m (Name)! (Last Name) (Name)!!” you smiled. “I’m five!!” 

“Ooh I’m six! And my name is Park Jimin!! Now we’re friends!!” 

***

At seven years old, you have your first crush. 

He is seven, like you, and he’s in your class. When your teacher lines up your second grade class, you hurry to stand behind him, blushing heavily and twirling your short hair around your pointer finger. 

“Jinwoo, why don’t you come solve the problem on the board?” your teacher asks sweetly and you beam as the cute boy stands up from his seat and walks up to the board. 

112 +17 = 129

His handwriting was pretty. (Though what would you know? You were still seven; even scribbles would be considered pretty to you). 

The teacher nods with a satisfied smile and Jinwoo grins proudly, making you blush from the back of the classroom. 

“Alright, that’s enough of math. Why don’t we go outside to see our butterflies for science today?” 

So, you eagerly trip over your pink sneakers and run to stand behind Jinwoo. He turns to look at you and grins at you and you turn away obviously, smiling just a bit. 

Your class, lined up neatly, begins walking through the hallways to go outside. You could count the stripes on Jinwoo’s shirt and see the slight sheen of golden in his straight brown hair. 

“We’re passing the third graders. Everyone stick to the left side!” 

You briefly tear your eyes away from Jinwoo and look to the line of slightly taller kids walking past your class. 

You catch a familiar gaze and grin. 

Park Jimin walks past you, his eyes crinkling into crescents at the sight of you. 

“Hi (Name),” he whispers as he passes. 

“Hi Jiminie,” you giggle. And then he is out of sight. 

You enjoy your time outside with the butterflies, feeling fluttery when Jinwoo laughs at them or falls into the grass along with his friends. 

Your happiness stays with you throughout recess. As you crouch down, dragging a piece of chalk across the pavement, a pair of blue sneakers run up to you. 

“Whatcha drawing?” a voice asks. You peek up and smile at Jimin. 

“A butterfly! Is it pretty, Jimin?” 

Jimin nods quickly, plopping down on the pavement. 

“Ew, Jiminie! Don’t sit on the floor! It’s dirty! You’re gonna catch germs!” you warn him, crinkling your nose in disgust. He grins toothily. 

“No I won’t!” 

But you don’t really pay attention to him. Instead, your eyes stray to where Jinwoo is kicking a soccer ball around with his friends. 

“Who ya looking at?” Jimin squints to catch the interesting sight. You don’t move and he realizes that you are indeed staring at one of those boys. 

“Why are you looking at them?” 

You look up at him with wide eyes. Your seven year old mind is racing. 

“Jiminie, you’re my bestest friend. So I’m gonna trust you and tell you a really really really big secret!” 

Jimin leans closer to you, voice quieting to a whisper. 

“What secret?” 

“You know Kim Jinwoo?” you ask him. 

“The one in your class?” Jimin inquires. You nod. “What about him?” 

“I think I….” you take a dramatic breath. “I think I love him,” 

Jimin’s hands fly to his mouth and his brows shoot up. 

“No way!! That guy?” 

You nod seriously. 

“I dreamt about marrying him,” 

Jimin’s jaws remain agape as he takes in this juicy piece of gossip. 

“Oh no! (Name), I think we’re too little to get married,” he sighs. 

“Whatever,” you dismiss. “I know I love Jinwoo and I’m going to marry him. And at my wedding, you’ll be my best man!” 

He laughs. 

“Isn’t the best man for the boy?” 

You blink before resuming your tracing on the ground. 

“Oh? Then I guess you can be my bridesmaid!” 

***

At 12 years old, it suddenly hurts to go to school. 

Perhaps it is the total disregard you had for your own image. 

Up until now, it seemed that nobody really cared about others. People were just friends no matter how one looked or dressed. 

But when you turned 12 and entered the seventh grade, everyone began to discuss being pretty and discuss cute boys and discuss who was taking who to the winter dance. 

You didn’t know it would be this way. 

So you didn’t take any care of your body image. Throughout the summer you had eaten to your heart’s content and leisurely watched as much television as you liked. Naturally, you put on a bit of weight. But you didn't necessarily know that once you turned 12 people would suddenly start expecting you to be skinny. And soon enough as the year went on, you started feeling a little bit worse whenever you looked at yourself in the mirror. You stopped wearing form-fitting clothes and instead drowned your body in bland oversized sweatshirts. Watching the girls who had the body totally pull off clothes you only aspired to wear made going to school feel like a liability. 

You push every tray of school pizza away from you despite the grumbling of your starved stomach. Looking down at it, it seemed so appetizing even with its grease, especially since you had skipped breakfast too. But one glance at the chubbiness of your thighs made you push it away without a second thought. 

That's how you had been getting by anyway. Until that day. 

A sharp smack to your shoulder made you wince. 

You quickly whipped around to see a familiar disapproving frown. 

"What the hell, (Name)?"

"What?" 

"Why aren't you eating, huh?" 

You blinked as guilt arose in your chest. Jimin's frown deepens and he quickly sits next to you. He reaches for the tray and pulls it in front of you before looking at you expectantly. 

"I don't feel like eating, Jiminie,"

He sighs. 

"Don't lie to me. You're obviously starving. Why won't you eat?" 

"Don't worry about it," you mutter, turning away from him. 

"HEY JIMIN!! C'MERE!!" a few boys were yelling from across the cafeteria. 

"You should go," you urge, nudging his elbow gently in the direction of his eighth grade friends.

“Not until you put some food in your mouth. And that doesn’t meet spit it out later!!” he scolds, crossing his arms. You pout, but do as he says. After all, you knew more than anyone, how stubborn Jimin could be. 

He smiles a bit in approval. Though his attention tears from you at the yells from his friends. 

“I gotta go. See you later, (Name)!” 

By the end of the year, you were eating meals regularly. 

***

At 15 years old, your friendships change. 

Your second year in high school had been nothing short of hell. Schoolwork had become more tedious and managing your social life became a chore. You could only wish to be one of those kids who had it all. The brains, beauty, and just the fact that everyone wanted to be around you. Unfortunately you were just average. There was nothing special about you. You could go a whole day without being at school and nobody would notice you were gone, save for the few friends you’ve acquainted over the years. You couldn’t help but keep wishing you had been likeable. 

You had been watching your friends acquire dates for school dances and bail out on hanging out with you to hang out with their significant others. But it wasn’t that big of a deal because you are still only 15 years old. 

But you also lack a close friendship. You lack a person to go to whenever you really need to rant or to cry or to laugh. 

You thought you had that, but you didn’t. 

You thought you had that in Park Jimin, but you didn’t. 

Oh, Jimin. 

The Jimin you had met in preschool had left. The Jimin you were friends with in the second grade had changed. The Jimin you knew in the seventh grade had disappeared. 

And instead in his place was this Jimin. 

This Jimin, the 16 year old Jimin, the Jimin in the junior year, wasn’t your Jimin. 

Your eyes couldn’t help but be drawn to him. This new Jimin. Just like everyone else couldn’t help but keep their eyes on him. Obviously, for he had definitely changed. 

In looks, maybe not so much. He still had the slight chubbiness to his cheeks, the same crooked front teeth, the same straight black hair, the same kind crescent shaped eyes. But he wasn’t as shy as he was as a second grader. Instead he now caught the attention of everyone around him. He was intelligent and charming. 

So naturally, he garnered positive attention. He had been his year’s class president since he was a freshman. He was one of the star members of the school Dance Team. He had won regional competitions all over Busan. He was dating Kim So Jung, one of the prettiest and most popular girls in the eleventh grade. And no, she is not one of the rude girls, but rather she is sweet and kind and intelligent. He has the best grades and plays on the Boy’s Soccer Team and he is just perfect. 

Everyone loves him. Everyone wants to be around him. 

And you are gradually forgotten. It breaks your heart. It really does. It breaks your heart that the only interaction you have with him now is an awkward smile in the halls as you pass. It breaks your heart that there are never any text messages from him, let alone calls. It breaks your heart that you cannot go to him when you need him most. 

He is not the same. Neither are you. 

He just isn’t the Jimin that you once knew. And that’s fine. People change; you know that. You cannot blame him for anything. It is not his fault. He isn’t a bad person or anything. He just has other interests and better friends. He is also older than you. Why would he prefer to spend time with a younger kid than people of his own age? 

You accept this. You decide that it is good for the both of you. It’s time you became a bit more social and enjoy yourself to the best of your ability. 

It is your sophomore year of high school that you make an important friendship. You know this friendship will last a long time. 

Your closest friend becomes Hirai Momo. She has just moved to your school and she is nothing short of a sweetheart. She is pretty and kind and loving and smart. And she is the greatest friend you could have asked for. 

You tell her everything about yourself as does she. And you are happy. Halfway through the year both of you meet Lee Jihoon. And he easily joins your little circle and you become an inseparable trio. 

Everything goes just fine, until you are assigned partners for writing a story in your Journalism class. This class, an elective, was open to all grades, and just to your luck, you got assigned to none other than Park Jimin. 

A part of you was relieved. You knew it could have been a lot worse. You could have ended up with someone you didn’t know at all. Or even worse, someone who was unkind or like a bully. 

But you got assigned to your friend. So that made you happy. 

But another part of you was slightly nervous. It had been a substantial amount of time since the two of you had spoken, and you wanted to avoid the inevitable awkwardness. But nonetheless, when you hear his name, you can’t help but smile. 

That smile faltered when you looked to Jimin. His friends were looking at him with a look of pity mixed with humor. As though they felt bad for him but also wanted to make fun of him. 

“Sorry man,” you heard one of the seniors  - Ha Sungwoon, you think his name is - mutter with a slightly sympathetic smirk. The way Jimin responds makes you almost gasp. 

“This is gonna suck,” he mutters. 

So does this mean...he is ashamed to be your partner? Or perhaps annoyed? Upset? Angry? 

Whatever the reason is, it doesn’t seem good. So when it is time for you to join him, you approach him feeling nervous, upset, and scared. 

He doesn’t say much, only a quiet “Hey,” as you take a seat. You both briefly discuss how you both will split the workload and start the project. It is quiet between you two, and you hate the fusion of tension and awkwardness in the air. You decide to be brave. You decide to be the one who tries. 

“H-How have you been?” you ask, looking up from your work to him. He doesn’t raise his head. 

“Fine,” he replies, short and quick. There is no how about you or thanks for asking. 

It is just fine. 

You are not stupid. You can understand disinterest when you see it. So you shut your mouth and continue working for the rest of class, your heart mourning the loss of a friend. 

He just packs up and leaves with his friends at the end of class, despite the two of you not finishing your work. You know that the two of you still have to discuss how you will finish. So once again you try to be brave. 

After school as you walk home with Jihoon, you whip your phone out to text Jimin. You notice that it takes a lot of time to scroll all the way down to his contact and that makes you sad. Regardless, as you find his name you type up the most formal text message you can manage, stating exactly what work you will do and what he can do and you hesitate, but click send anyway. 

You only care about your grades. Not about your partner. 

You watch the screen for a few minutes, slightly droning out Jihoon’s rambling about the girl in math class who had confessed to him earlier in the day, and await a response. 

It doesn’t come though, and your mood drops even further into a dark pit as you tuck your phone away. 

You walk with Jihoon to his doorstep, waving to his mother and politely declining her offer of snacks and head home. 

You feel weird. It was like a part of you was missing. 

Although you understood that deep inside you knew that Jimin was not going to be the same. Deep inside you had already realized that you both had drifted too far. You both had changed too much and now you knew that you would never be the same again. 

That didn’t stop it from really hurting though. 

You tried to distract yourself from thinking about him by starting up the pile of homework you had. You were sure that as you progressed into the later years of high school it would be a lot worse, but you were already so stressed. 

A couple of hours later, when you had finished graphing the last parabola, you decided to move onto Journalism. Knowing very well that you and Jimin had to work on this together, you decided to kill your suspense and check whether there had been a response from him. Turning on your phone, the home screen didn’t show any new notifications and your heart sunk. You opened up your messages and scrolled to Jimin’s name, just to check if it sent or not. Just in case. 

You wish you didn’t, because then you wouldn’t have found out the Jimin had left you on read. 

To any other person, it wouldn’t seem like much. But to you, it meant a lot. Because four years ago the two of you had promised to never leave each other on read. 

Ever. 

And sure it might have been some stupid 11 year old promise but the two of you stuck to that rule for the longest time. 

Well, I guess not anymore. 

You had lost him now. It was confirmed. Park Jimin was no longer your best friend.

In fact, he wasn’t even your friend anymore. 

You were nobody to him. 

And unfortunately, that made you cry. You cried and cried. 

People who don’t go through it wouldn’t understand the feeling. They’ll shrug it off, saying that it’s just a stupid friend. You’d find more friends, it’s not a big deal. 

But it was a big deal. 

He was your first best friend and you thought he always would be. 

Guess not. 

Your mother came home and immediately panicked seeing you in your state of tears. 

She ran to you and began to demand what was wrong and so you told her. You told her about how high school was rough and you had so much work and that you just lost Jimin and didn’t even understand why. 

“Oh honey,” she sighed with sympathy in her eyes as she rubbed your back. “I’m so sorry. I know you really cared about Jimin. I can’t believe he isn’t your friend anymore. It’s so sad,” 

You could only sniffle and nod. 

“I know it’ll take some time to get used to it, (Name). But don’t let it bring you down. You have Momo and Jihoon, right? They’re true friends,” 

She was right. 

“It might seem like it’s bad now, but you will get over it. Sometimes things don’t work out. Especially friendships,” 

***

At 17 years old, you think you are in love for the first time. He is sweet and kind and always laughing. He has a beautiful smile that lights up the room and eyes that express the happiness he always seems to feel. He is your age, with short brown hair and honey-like brown eyes. 

His name is Choi Youngjae and you can’t help but like him. 

He isn’t very popular but has a substantial amount of friends and you know that he treasures them. 

So you spend the first few months of your last year before college blushing like a schoolgirl, as embarrassing as that sounds. It can’t be helped though. 

You’ve fallen, and fallen hard. 

Jihoon thinks you are ridiculous, as he remarks almost everyday. And Momo laughs and teases you at every opportunity. You don’t mind though. In fact it makes you very happy. Because you can tell that you will have those two for the rest of your life. 

The weeks go on and all you can do is pine from afar. You like being able to do so; it reduces the stress of a confession or the likes of it. Even though a part of you is wishing to be able to date him and let him take you to the prom. But you have come to terms that it will most likely never happen and that the universe doesn't play favorites. 

But that doesn't deter your mood. With such good friends and a sweetheart for a crush you don't have much to worry about. 

Especially since you don't have to worry about seeing Park Jimin in the hallways. You don't have to worry about texting him for a Journalism project. 

Nope. None of it. 

Because Jimin had graduated last year and was probably having the time of his life in college. But you didn't want to spend time plaguing your thoughts with him. 

So instead you tried focusing on your teacher. But that didn't happen either because you were distracted once again by the familiar head of floppy light brown hair.As she assigned the next task for the class, you stood up to go sit with Jihoon as partners. 

"Okay you do these four problems and I'll do these ones," he said, pulling out his notebook and beginning to label the problems. 

You nodded half-heartedly as you begin working on the problems. 

A loud laugh cut off your train of thought and you couldn't help but smile. You knew that laugh. 

Risking a peek, you saw Youngjae laughing his ass off at something his friends had said. The same way he always did. Jihoon grinned at you knowing fully well what was on your mind. 

"Shut up," you muttered, though it was hardly serious considering the smile on your face. 

He snorted and continued working while you continued sneaking glances at your unrequited crush. 

Though, you didn't expect to be noticed. 

You almost have a seizure when Youngjae’s pretty brown eyes meet yours from across the classroom. You physically choke and began hacking and Jihoon clicks his tongue and begins smacking your back. How embarrassing. 

Though when you sneakily glance back up, Youngjae is shyly grinning at you. 

You look away to hide your smile. 

***

At 18 years old, you have your first break up. It is one month before you turn 19 and one month before you officially start college. It is nerve-wracking but also relieving because you have survived the hell known as high school. 

But that means letting go of some important people in the process. You know it’s not forever; in fact there are many methods for you to stay in touch with them. But it is sad because you know you won’t get to see them everyday like you used to. 

Your bedroom is clean, neat, and slightly bare as you survey it. Your closet is mostly empty as you have packed a majority of your clothes and transferred it to Seoul where your university is. Your father comes in and gently places a hand on your shoulder. He offers you a slightly melancholic smile and you are already missing him. 

“Ready to go?” he asks you and you nod with a soft smile, reaching up to hug him. He releases you and smiles once again before making his way out of his room. Your sister, who is going to be a freshman now, is helping your mom pack some homemade food for you, knowing very well that you will miss it. 

You take another glance around and think of all the times you’ve had in this very bedroom. 

You can remember Momo and a few other girls sitting on your bed and applying makeup for each other on the night of the senior prom. You can remember Jihoon laying on the floor with you under a horde of blankets as you watched scary movies on your computer with the lights off. You can remember playing dolls with your eight year old sister. You can remember your dad lifting you up and running around to make you feel as though you were flying. You can remember your mother gently lulling you to sleep as she read the lines of some fairytale. 

And sadly, you can remember all ages of Park Jimin playing in your bedroom. You see the six year old Jimin giggling with you when both of you are covered in mud. You see the eight year old Jimin teaching you how to dance, his chubby fingers linked with yours as he twists you around the room. You see the 13 year old Jimin sitting on your bed, a soft frown on his face as he looks down at you. His arm is securely wrapped around your shoulders and you are crying because you think you are too fat, too ugly. 

And then, 13 year old Jimin disappears into a wisp of smoke and you only then realize that you are silently crying. It is hard not to miss everything that has happened. 

You meet your roommate. She is a sweet and pretty girl named Sana Minatozaki and she is in your year. She has moved from Osaka to study in Seoul and you both decide to help each other out. 

As soon as you’re settled in, you call Momo to find out how she is doing. She is going to university in Japan, and you miss her a lot. She is still the same as always when you speak with her. You catch up, telling each other about leaving home and how the dorms were and what your campus was like. 

In the midst of the call, you add Jihoon, who is studying classical music, and talk with both of them for hours. 

A slightly sour topic is brought up. 

“Hey...how are you doing? You know…? After the…..” Momo cannot bring herself to continue, but you know what she means. It’s sweet, how much she cares for you. 

“I’m fine,” you dismiss with a wave of your hand.

“Are you sure?” Jihoon asks. “I know Youngjae meant a lot to you,” 

Ah, Youngjae. 

The first person you had ever loved. And the first boyfriend you had ever had. 

The first part of your senior year of high school was spent in dejected thoughts of an unrequited crush. But unbeknownst to you, fate was sometimes on your side. 

Well, fate had given you Youngjae, anyway. 

You didn’t see it happening. You always thought your feelings would go unnoticed. 

But it turned out that Youngjae had returned your feelings which made you the happiest a girl could be. That one day, after his friends Yugyeom and Bambam had gleefully shoved him up to you and he had shyly asked you out was one of the best days of your life. Starting then, he was yours throughout the year. 

He had been the perfect definition of a boyfriend. He had taken you on dates, helped you with homework, even took you to prom. But on your side, guilt started gnawing at your insides. As the year went on, you started feeling as though it was slightly forced. You loved Youngjae, you really did. But you didn’t feel like he was the sole reason that your life was happy and you almost felt as though you were pushing yourself through this relationship. 

It wasn’t his fault; he was nothing but a sweetheart and you loved him for everything he did. But maybe it was because you knew from early on that your relationship was going to come to an end. Youngjae wanted to go to school for Theatre and Film and you were looking into Journalism and Writing. And though both of you were planning on studying in Seoul, it still felt as though you were both traveling down separate paths. 

So, the breakup was tough. 

It had broken your heart, since you had been so in love with him for almost two years, but you knew it was for the best. Your relationship would just be too much to handle. You were both applying to different schools, had different interests, and wanted different things out of life. Besides, you wanted to first get used to college before you could maintain a steady relationship. 

You both dragged out the time leading up to the impending breakup for as long as you could. You spent the summer before college basking in each other’s company and giggling about memories that only stupid high school kids could make. It felt nice, and you suddenly remembered why you were so in love with him. 

By God, Choi Youngjae is perfect. 

But to both of you, college meant a fresh start. 

So you promised that it wasn’t goodbye. If your feelings still stayed, then maybe the future would bring you both back to each other.

Despite it all, you cry when you get home. It is a weird feeling in your chest, as though you have lost something that wasn’t quite yours. It is a nostalgic feeling, lingering somewhere in the recesses of your past subconscious, linked to someone who seems all too familiar. 

But it is kind of easy to let him go. 

That tells you one thing: 

It wasn’t really love. 

***

You celebrate your 19th birthday after 3 weeks of college. Sana, who has already become like your sister, takes you out to a restaurant that is just outside of campus. You have a lot of fun with her. She clutches her stomach as she laughs while you animatedly recall the most recent experience in your Literature class and grin at her obvious amusement. You shovel some grilled chicken into your mouth as she speaks to you. 

It is one of your best birthdays just because you feel at ease in the best way possible. Sure, there are countless assignments still waiting for you at home and you've skipped your part time job to come out tonight, but it's your birthday, and you deserve to enjoy yourself. 

The first thing that interrupts your night is loud laughter. 

Sana turns around to look at the door as a group of guys flood into the restaurant, talking loudly with one another. She turns back to you and starts up the conversation once again, ignoring the group of chattering males that take a seat in the booth by the window. You do the same, continuing with the chicken in front of you. 

"Well fuck Taehyung, I can't believe you did that!!" one of them yells in disbelief, though you can hear the grin in his voice. The voice sounds familiar, and you quickly glance to the side to see Ha Sungwoon from your high school. 

"Oh jeez," you mutter. Sana raises a brow. 

"What?" 

"I know that guy," you sigh. It's not like you had anything against Sungwoon; you had never really spoken to him. But he was his friend. 

"Which one?"

"The one in the red shirt," 

"Ah," 

You manage to drone them out and giggle as Sana talks badly about one of her professors. 

"Where is your boyfriend, Tae?" 

You look to see who is being addressed and almost spit out your drink. Because someone that attractive should not be allowed to exist. 

He has light brown hair that is parted down the side and a dark headband is wrapped around his temple, exposing his forehead. His skin is golden tan and he has dark brown eyes. His smile is the killer though; it is rectangular and you’re sure he’s charmed a million people with that smile before. 

“Shut up, hyung,” the guy mutters with a playful roll of his eyes and in the deepest voice you had ever heard in your life. “He’s my best friend, not my boyfriend. I’m straight,” 

The other man grins in response. 

“He’s probably still at the studio. You know how the idiot is about dancing,” ‘Tae’ sighs, whipping out his phone to presumably text the person in question. 

“Yup, he’s been like that for as long as I’ve known him,” Sungwoon comments. ‘Tae’ smiles softly. You turn away to look at Sana and she questions your expression. 

“People that attractive shouldn’t exist,” you mutter, jerking your head to the side. Sana laughs. 

“What, you mean Kim Taehyung?” 

“Is that his name?” you ask, genuinely curious. She nods. 

“He’s in my Filmmaking class and a second year. Really popular,” 

“I can tell. He’s way too good-looking for anyone to ignore him,” She agrees with you. “Just like you. You’re way too pretty,” you grin at her and she looks at you, appalled. 

“No way!! You’re prettier!!” 

Your jaw physically drops at her statement. 

“No way!” 

You spend the next few minutes bickering with her on the useless topic. You weren’t ugly. But you weren’t gorgeous like Sana was either. You were average. In fact, you felt as though puberty had just hit you as you graduated high school. You grew an inch or two taller and your acne had cleared up. You had grown your hair out so that it was a change from your normal short hair. But that didn’t make you much more beautiful. It’s fine; you loved yourself anyway. 

“Finally!” Sungwoon groans and you look up at the door. 

Big mistake. 

You knew that there was a chance he’d be here. You had heard from so many people that he had gone to school in Seoul. But that didn’t make it any easier to see his face. 

Park Jimin looks up from his phone, grinning at his friends. 

The amount of change you see from eighth grade Jimin is slightly shocking. 

His hair is still black, but instead of the classic ‘coconut’ hairstyle he had before, it is parted on the side, exposing his forehead and resting against his skin in fluffy strands. His skin is as clear as it’s always been (he’d always been particular about skincare) and he has grown much taller than before. While you were taller than him in middle school, now he could use your head as an armrest if he so desired. His arms were toned with muscles easily visible from the plain white T-shirt he was wearing. His muscled thighs were covered with black skinny jeans and you had to physically tear your eyes away to avoid staring. 

His smile was still the same. His eyes crinkle up into crescents when he grins at his group. 

You had gradually stopped remembering him as he moved out of your life. It had become easier to talk to him and walk by his house without waving to his mother. But now that you’re seeing him, the feeling of missing him hits you tenfold. You shakily smile at Sana as she continues to talk, thankful that she didn’t notice your moment of weakness. Though you can’t help but keep your ears open. 

Behind Jimin enters another young man who is slightly taller than him but equally as handsome. He too is very toned and he has a wide smile that brightens up the whole room.

“Oh? Hoseok hyung? I thought you said you couldn’t make it?” Taehyung grins, looking at the man behind Jimin. Hoseok shrugs. 

“Eh, I needed a break,” 

“Well don’t just stand there,” another guy at the table with Taehyung says boredly. He has mint green hair, very pale skin, and dark cat-like eyes. “Sit down,” 

Jimin walks straight past you as you turn your head to the opposite side. 

“What’s wrong?” Sana asks, leaning forward and lowering her voice to a whisper. 

“You know the one in the white T-shirt?” you ask, covering one half of your face with your palm. She nods. 

“Yeah, Park Jimin? He’s Taehyung’s best friend,” 

A sharp stab of pain hits your chest as you remember the time when that used to be you. 

“Yeah, him. We grew up together. We used to be best friends when we were younger but then…” you trailed off. Sana grew sympathetic. 

“Let me guess: he thought he’d found better friends and forgot about you?” 

“Basically,” you mutter. She waves her hand. 

“Who cares?! His loss. It’s your birthday; don’t think about that loser! Besides I get my wife all to myself now,” she winks and you grin. “Are you done with your dinner, wife?” 

You nod with a smile. 

“Yup, let’s pay,” 

She stops you. 

“AHSUSH!! WAIT A SECOND!!” then she turns to one of the staff there and nods. Then, out of nowhere, they bring out a chocolate cupcake with a single lit candle and set it in front of you. A few of the staff sing Happy Birthday, along with Sana who is screaming the song as though she wants the whole world to know that you were born today. You smile in embarrassment as she finishes the song. 

You lean forward and blow out the candle without making a proper wish. People clap and you smile at them. From your side you hear clapping too, and when you look up, both Taehyung and Hoseok are clapping. You offer a weak smile at the both of them but you can’t help yourself. 

You look to Park Jimin and meet his eyes for the first time. 

His expression is difficult to decipher. He is not smiling, nor does he smile when you look at him. He looks at you as though you are a ghost. 

You look away and smile at Sana. You do not want to ruin your birthday. 

“Thank you,” you grin at her. She nods proudly and motions for you to eat, though she too looks at Park Jimin from the corner of her eyes, and has to resist a glare. 

***

You cannot believe your luck. 

What were the odds that you would get paired up with him for a project? 

Seemingly, very high. 

Taehyung smiles at you as he approaches you after your class and bows quickly. 

“Hi! Even though we’ve been in the same class for the last four months, we’ve never talked. It’s nice to meet you! I’m Kim Taehyung,” 

You look at him warily. Why is he so nice? 

He had a reputation for being a heartbreaker… 

Nonetheless, you smile up at him awkwardly and reciprocate a lower bow. 

“Nice to meet you too. I’m (Last Name) (Name),” 

He grins. 

“I know,” 

You are tempted to ask how he knows you, but you keep your mouth shut and instead try a smile. 

“You’re a first year, aren’t you?” he makes small conversation as you start walking. You nod. 

“And you’re a second?” 

He smiles. 

“So when do you want to do this project?” you ask him, now cutting directly to the chase. He pauses to think before a small rectangular smile graces his handsome face. 

“Does this weekend work for you?” he asks and you nod. There is a lot of other work you have to do, but you would prefer to finish the project and to get away from Taehyung as soon as possible. You don’t want to risk anything with him or his best friend. His smile widens. 

“Cool. I’ll text you the address, yeah?” he asks, holding out his phone and you belatedly realize that he wants your number. You take the phone and input your digits before handing it back to him. He grins and quickly raises his phone to capture a picture of your stunned face before you can even process. 

“No!! Why did you-?! Taehyung, delete it!!” you whine, reaching forward as he stretches his hand up high. 

Curse your height. 

“I needed a contact picture!” he laughs. You groan and frown up at him. A quiet ding! sounds in your pocket and Taehyung smiles. 

“See ya Saturday, (Name)!” he tips his head and then turns around to leave as though he is the most carefree person on the planet. You are not convinced. He still has his reputation and you will not put it past him to live up to it. When you do check your phone, you can only sigh when you read ‘TAEHYUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG’ 

“Where are you going at this hour?” Sana asks from where she is sprawled across her bed. You slide your laptop into your satchel and swing it over your left shoulder. 

“I have a project for Photography so I’m meeting my partner to work on it,” you answer as you slip a pair of boots on and open the door. 

“Ah, I thought you were going on a date,” she giggles. You quickly look down to the beige sweater, black leggings and boots that make up your outfit, before quickly touching your loose hair. 

“Why? Does it look like I tried too hard?!” you ask, panicking just a little. She smiles with confusion. 

“No? I just meant you looked cute,” 

You sighed with relief. 

“Good. My partner is Kim Taehyung and I do not need him to think that I’m into him,” you say, shutting your eyes with slight frustration. Sana snorts with amusement. 

“Kim Taehyung?” she grins. “Oh, good luck with that, babe,” 

“Thanks,” you respond with a playful roll of your eyes and bid her goodbye before shutting the door behind you. As you walked out of your dorm building, you pulled up the address Taehyung had sent you yesterday. You had assumed that he would have invited you to his dorm or something similar, but from the minimal knowledge you had about your college, it didn’t seem like this address was on campus. Perhaps some cafe or library where you two could work without disturbance? You shrugged it off and started the walk, seeing that it took about 15 minutes and mentally prepared yourself for Kim Taehyung’s personality. 

After around 20 minutes of walking, you are shocked to find yourself face to face with an apartment building. It looks decent, not too dilapidated nor too lavish. It seems cozy and has a warm feeling to it that you can’t quite explain. Nonetheless, you are wary and do not want to enter the wrong place so you shoot Taehyung a quick text. 

(Name): am I at the right place??

You start pacing as you await an answer, too nervous to go to the door. After a few minutes, you get too impatient and call him instead. Three rings pass and then: 

“Ah (Name)? Sorry, I didn’t see your text!! Wait, imma open the door and if you see me, you’re in the right place!!”

You heard some muffled shouting and shuffling before the door was wrenched open and there stood a beaming Kim Taehyung. You disconnected the call and couldn’t help the small smile when he started excessively waving at you. You walked up the stairs and followed him as he began speaking. 

“Did you get here okay?” 

“Mhm,” you nod. “Thanks for asking. Is this your apartment?” 

“Eh sorta,” he grins. “I have a friend, Seokjin, who’s in his final year. This is technically his apartment. But me and a couple other guys live here too. We all pitch in for costs and rent and stuff,”

“Ohhh,” you acknowledge. “Makes sense,” 

“Yeah,” he smiles. “It’s real fun. Instead of one roommate, I have six,” 

He leads you to a door, opens it, and you are hit with an influx of shouting. A pile of shoes spills out of a closet and the smell of noodles wafts through the air. Despite the clear lack of cleanliness, you grin as you hear the boyish voices around the apartment. It must be nice, living together like this. Taehyung notices your grin and smiles to himself. 

“They’re all really nice, don’t worry,” he eases and you smile at him. 

“I’m not worried at all,” 

“Good,” he grabs your hand and tugs you forward. 

“Taehyung? Is that you?” a voice calls and from the kitchen emerges the most handsome man you had ever seen in your life. He had to be some kind of movie star or model because he literally had the most aesthetically pleasing face ever. He catches your eyes and smiles kindly. 

“Oh hello,” he greets. 

“Hello,” you bow and you can’t help but smile back at him. He just emits friendliness. 

“(Name), this is Seokjin. This is his apartment,” 

“Sorry for intruding, Seokjin,” you smile apologetically and he waves you off with the spatula in his hand. It’s then that you notice the Kiss the Cook apron he’s wearing. Except he's crossed out the Cook and wrote Worldwide Handsome in black Sharpie. What a fitting nickname. 

“It’s nothing at all. You wanna stay for dinner?” he asks and you’re tempted to say yes just by smelling the food cooking in the kitchen. Taehyung answers for you.

“Most probably yes,” he interjects and you look at him with a raised eyebrow and try to protest. “Oh shush, kid,” he swats a hand by your face. 

“I’m a year younger than you!” you argue. 

“Younger,” Taehyung stresses and you groan. Seokjin grins at the two of you and turns to go back to his cooking. 

“Well, get to work kiddos,” 

Taehyung leads to you the living room where three men are stationed. The first two look familiar and you realize that you had seen them at the restaurant back when you first saw Taehyung. One of them is lazily draped across the sofa and has the same mint hair and cat-like eyes that you remember. The second is leaning against the couch and scrolling on his phone. He is the one with the bright smile, you recall. The third is the one you haven’t seen. He looks to be your age and he’s wearing very oversized black clothing. He sits on the floor in front of the TV with a remote control in his class. 

“That’s Yoongi hyung, Hoseok hyung, and Jeongguk who’s in your year,” Taehyung points to each of them respectively. Yoongi looks up at you and nods with a small smile, which you reciprocate. Hoseok catches your eyes and grins. 

“Ah! Birthday girl?” he points and you groan with a playful smile. 

“Oh you remember that? That’s embarrassing,” 

He laughs, a sound you decide you like a lot and you smile cheekily. The last one, Jeongguk, looks up at you and smiles, and you suddenly think of a bunny. 

“Oh? You’re in my year? Cool,” he grins and you smile back. 

“Overwatch?” you ask, pointing to the screen and his smile widens. 

“Yeah,” he nods. “You play?” 

You shake your head no. “I have no clue how to,” 

“Well, Jeongguk can teach you the next time you come over,” Taehyung says, now pulling you in the direction of his room. You raise a brow. 

“Bold of you to assume there’ll be a next time,” 

Hoseok and Jeongguk laugh, the latter inputting a playful “She got you, hyung!”

Taehyung grins at you. 

“You won’t be able to stay away, sweetheart,” 

You scoff with a smile, slightly amazed that you’re already this comfortable with these guys. 

“Ah, which one of you idiots touched my computer?!” an irritated voice yells from down the hall. A door is wrenched open and out storms another man who is like eight feet tall. Okay, not really, but he is very tall. Much taller than you. 

“It was Jin hyung,” Jeongguk comments, not taking his eyes off of the screen. The man’s shoulders relax. 

“Damn, I can’t even yell at him. Hyung, please don’t touch my computer!” 

“YAH!! IT WASN’T ME THAT BRAT IS SETTING ME UP!!” you hear Seokjin yell angrily from the kitchen and when you catch Jeongguk’s grin, you can’t help but laugh. Namjoon glares at Jeongguk, who flashes such cute puppy eyes, you almost melt yourself. Namjoon groans. 

“Okay fine I’m letting you off this time,” he warns. “But next time…” he lets his threat hang in midair, but even Jeongguk doesn’t seem to take it seriously. The tall man looks to you then and smiles. His dimples, you notice, are extremely cute. 

“Sorry you had to hear all of that,” he apologizes. “I’m Namjoon,” 

You grin at him. “No worries. It was quite entertaining. I’m (Name),” 

“Well if you’re gonna come around here often, you’ll get used to it,” Namjoon comments cheekily and you laugh. 

“C’mon (Name). We should probably start working,” Taehyung smiles and you wave goodbye to the other boys as Taehyung leads you to his room. When you enter, you are a bit surprised by what you see. You never expected Kim Taehyung to be so...artistic. 

Paintings litter on one half of the room, assumably Taehyung’s side. A saxophone rests against the wall and polaroids are stuck to the walls. You can’t help but smile. The other half of the room is a bit different. A laptop and multiple notebooks are scattered across the bed and there is a whole shelf of novels that you are dying to explore. 

“Do you share a room with one of them?” you ask Taehyung, who nods. 

“Namjoon hyung,” 

You smile as you study the room and realize that these boys are probably so different from each other.  

Taehyung tells you to take a seat and the two of you began to work. 

You notice that Kim Taehyung is very easy to talk to. His reputation, it isn’t as bad as people say. He doesn’t seem like a heartbreaker and in fact, comes off as someone who values love a lot. Especially after the conversation you have with him. 

“So…” he comments randomly as he pulls up images. “You interested in someone?” 

You can’t help but be playful. “Why? Already like me?” 

“Maybe~” he grins. 

“But to answer your question, nope!” you chirp. “At least not yet. I mean I just ended a relationship before the year started,” 

“Ah,” Taehyung acknowledges. “I just finished a relationship two weeks ago,” 

“Oh?” you ask and you are about to recoil because you suddenly see the “fuckboy” Taehyung everyone talks about. You remember the rumors about how Kim Taehyung was dumping yet another girl. You remember pitying the girl he had been with and pitying all of the girls he had been with before vowing that you would never show remorse for a man like that. But he stops your thoughts with his next words. 

“Yeah, she wasn’t right for me,” he sighs, looking down and you think he looks genuinely upset. “I wish I could just fall in love already,” 

You blink. “What do you mean? If you didn’t love her, why date her?” 

“Well,” he sighs. “It’s like this. Why did you date your ex if you clearly could let him or her go?” he asks, looking up at you. You stop to think but he answers for you. “Because you didn’t really love them. Maybe you thought that you did, but if you really did, you wouldn’t be able to leave them,” 

His words are intelligent and accurate and you know it. 

“The same happens to me. I think I get interested in girls easily. Maybe because I admire people too much or I find myself liking their personalities. And no, it’s not because I just want to sleep with them like everyone says. I genuinely care for the girls I sleep with because I did genuinely think I loved them,” he admits and you listen attentively because as much as you don’t want to believe it, Kim Taehyung is telling the whole truth. “So yeah, maybe people think that I’m some kind of fuckboy and I sleep around too much. But I have never once dated a girl with the intention of getting in her pants. I’ve always dated a girl because I loved her but I break up with them because I realize that I was wrong,” 

You want to protest against everything he has revealed but it all makes so much sense and it is all too relatable. Why did you break up with Youngjae if you really loved him? And if you really did love him, you wouldn’t let distance or separate interests be a reason for breaking up with him. If anything, you’d fight to stay with him. Right? 

So you smile up at Kim Taehyung and say: “I understand,” 

It doesn’t seem likely, but after that conversation, it is so much more easier to talk to Taehyung. As you both organize the snapshots across the floor, you animatedly recall something funny that happened in high school and he eagerly recounts an embarrassing experience from a middle school play. You laugh and giggle and you wonder how someone so sweet can have such a bad reputation. You are happy to have made a friend. A few hours later, Seokjin’s voice calls for both of you to come for dinner. It is then that you realize it is nearing 9:00. You have stayed very late, but you don’t really want to leave. If Taehyung is as nice as this, you are curious to get to know the other boys. So when he asks if you want to stay for dinner, you shyly agree. When you walk to the table, you take a seat in between Taehyung and Jeongguk and look to Seokjin. 

“I’m really sorry again for intruding, Seokjin,” you say sheepishly to the eldest. He clicks his tongue. 

“Oh, stop apologizing and eat, kid,” his casual tone makes you grin and do as he says. Dinner is filled with bickering and laughs, and it evokes a fuzzy feeling in your chest. So, this is what it’s like to be best friends? Best friends that are close like family. The feeling stays as Seokjin starts berating Namjoon for breaking his cup and as Jeongguk accidentally splashes chili paste on Hoseok’s shirt. You are so happy. Seokjin packs up some leftovers as Jeongguk whines for dessert. He wants ice-cream, and as soon as he says it, you start craving it, too. It doesn’t take much for the male with the bunny smile to convince you, and then you join in on the pestering of the eldest. He gives in eventually, despite his protests, but ends up piling the most scoops into his bowl, ignoring Jeongguk’s cheeky smirk. 

“What time do you have to leave, (Name)?” Yoongi asks as he seats himself on the couch, watching you shove a spoonful of ice-cream into your mouth with a small smile. 

“Well, I technically should have left way earlier,” you admit and the mint-haired male chuckles. 

“Wanna stay for a bit longer? We normally watch movies on Saturday night no matter how stupid they are,” Yoongi doesn’t seem like the type to really enjoy spending time around new people, so you are very flattered at his words and agree to watch with them. 

“I probably won’t stay for the whole movie though,” 

“Just stay for a bit then,” the second-eldest mutters, cuddling into a blanket and Hoseok laughs from his spot on the floor. 

“Wow, Yoongi hyung must really like you, (Name). He’s never this nice,” 

Yoongi shoots him a withering glare. “Well she’s definitely less annoying than you are,” 

Seokjin, Jeongguk, and Taehyung laugh at his statement and you can vaguely hear Namjoon complaining about the tiny bit of ice-cream you all had left for him.

Soon enough, you all are settled and Up is playing on the screen. Jeongguk has volunteered to share his ice-cream with Namjoon, which is funny because he seems like he doesn’t share very often. You can’t help but smile as you hear Taehyung sniffle when Ellie dies and Yoongi yells an exasperated: “You cry at this scene every time! We literally just watched this movie last month!”

You cannot wait to tell Sana how happy these boys make you feel. 

About half way through the movie, when your bowls are all cleaned and you are sleepily leaning against Taehyung’s shoulder, you hear the sound of the front door open. 

“Finally,” Seokjin complains. “It took you long enough. Why do you even live here? You might as well live in the studio, you punk!!” 

A tinkling laugh rings from the hallway and you hear the shoe closet close. 

“Ah, you know I wouldn’t be able to live without you guys~” a voice sings, and you can hear the smile in it. It is very familiar and you know it and your heart speeds up and you want to leave. Footsteps approach the living room and you hold your breath. 

“We wouldn’t miss you,” Yoongi comments, eyes still trained on the movie. The person laughs again. 

“Love you too, Yoongi hyung,” 

And in walks the one reason everything will be ruined. In walks Park Jimin, in all his smiling glory. Your chest constricts and you have to remind yourself who this is. He is grinning though you can see the fatigue in his body. He is wearing a black T-shirt that is slightly damp from sweat and his black hair is messy across his forehead. His eyes shine with mischief and the feeling of nostalgia rises in your chest until it suffocates you. His kind brown eyes-like chocolate they are-scan the scene in front of him with indescribable softness. He is looking at his entire world. Until he stops at you. You wish you could disappear when you see that expression change. The light leaves his eyes and his pretty smile drops. His lips part and his shoulders sag and you feel almost ashamed without a reason. 

“You missed hanging out with (Name), Jiminie,” Taehyung says innocently and you have to stop the gasp. Jiminie. Jiminie was your nickname for him.

“(Name), this is the last member of our little family, Jimin. Jimin, this is (Name),” 

You can’t bring yourself to speak and neither, it seems, can he. He looks away from your misting eyes, and you have to swallow the growing lump in your throat. (Name), you idiot. Why are you so upset?

“It’s nice to meet you, Jimin,” you mumble and his head shoots up to look into your eyes and you feel exposed and fake and disgusting. But why? You didn’t throw away this friendship. He did.

You don’t wait for his answer and instead throw the blanket off of your knees before standing up quickly. Jeongguk, who had been sitting at your feet, raises a brow. 

“Where are you going, (Name)?” 

You laugh awkwardly, your voice becoming thick with unshed tears. 

“Sorry, Jeongguk. It’s really late and my roommate is pretty worried. Plus, I said I’d stay for dinner and now the movie’s practically done. I should head back home,” you make up a lame excuse and want to kick yourself for throwing away your time with these boys. “Thank you guys for having me,” 

“You can stop by anytime,” Seokjin says gently, standing up and helping you drown out Taehyung’s whining for you to stay. “I mean it, kid,” 

Though his smile drops a little when he sees the liquid pooling in your eyes. “Hey, are you--?” 

“I’ll try to stop by whenever I can,” you smile, trying to mask every single stupid thought in your head. “Thank you, Seokjin,”

You try to get him to drop the topic when you utter those words, hoping it gets through to him. He studies your face, his eyes worried, but seems to get it and nods. 

“Of course,” 

“Bye guys,” you say, and then turn to the door, not bothering to listen to their farewells. You pass by Jimin, but don’t meet his eyes. You don’t have the courage. 

You can’t help but cry to Sana when you open the door of your dorm room. You can’t relay any of the positive things that had occupied your evening but instead you spill everything about the one negative thing. Sana tries to calm you but she can now see how one measly friendship has affected your whole life. But she poses two questions that are important and make you think: “Do you really think that your friendship with Jimin should affect how you are with the other boys? Is it really worth it?”

And she is right, it is not worth it. You will not let go of six sweet people for one person who didn’t keep an unspoken promise. And with that vow to yourself, you drift off to sleep, your dreams filled with cat-like eyes, bunny smiles, and dimples. 

You are not surprised when Kim Taehyung takes a seat next to you after class on Monday, his eyebrows furrowed. 

“What happened on Saturday, (Name)?” he asks and you don’t really know how to respond. 

“What do you mean?” you chuckle awkwardly. “I told you I had to leave,” 

“Bullshit,” he dismisses and you sigh. “You were upset. What is it about Jimin that makes you upset?” You look at him with wide eyes and he breathes out. “I can’t believe you thought I wouldn’t notice…” 

You gulp at the slightly upset expression on his face. “This is all my fault. I shouldn’t have brought you home without telling you about the guys. I just assumed that there wouldn’t be any problems and I-” 

It takes you a minute to realize that he is blaming himself and you hurry to stop him. 

“No no, Taehyung! It’s not your fault or anybody else’s fault, okay?” He doesn’t look very convinced, but then in the softest voice he can muster, he puts a hand on your shoulder and asks “What is it, (Name)? What’s wrong?” 

And you trust him. You really do. “Let’s go get some coffee. I’ll tell you everything,”

So you spend about two hours sitting across from Taehyung as he listens intently. He takes small sips from his hot chocolate as you tell of the childish Park Jimin you had come to rely on. He watches you trace indistinguishable patterns on the cup of your caramel macchiato as you recount the heartbreak you had felt when Park Jimin disappeared from your life altogether. At the end of your story, you sit in front of him, feeling miserable and wondering why you ranted about Park Jimin to his best friend. You’re half expecting Taehyung to yell at you and tell you that he never wants you near him or the boys again. But, as usual, Kim Taehyung is full of surprises. 

“I’m so sorry that happened to you, (Name),” Taehyung says sympathetically. “Jimin can really be an idiot sometimes,” 

You scoff out a laugh. “Tell me about it,” 

“And what he did was horrible,” Taehyung continues. “But I promise you from the bottom of my heart that Jimin is not a bad person. From what you told me, I think he genuinely cared about you,” 

“Then why did he just cut me off like that?” you question. 

“Listen, I’m not gonna defend what he did. It was stupid and immature. But I think most teenagers are at that age. I mean, the fact that he continued to be your best friend throughout middle school just shows that he cared about you. And maybe once he went to high school, he just found new friends. Maybe he didn’t mean to cut you off but it was just hard to reconnect with you. And if he did do it purposefully, it was probably because of peer pressure. At that age, a guy and a girl can’t be just friends. It always means there’s something more. Maybe he was trying to avoid that. And I know that doesn’t give him an excuse and that doesn’t make it right. I’m just trying to give you some closure and help you figure out why it happened. I mean I’m sure there's been a time where you’ve been influenced by those around you,” You think back to seventh grade and nod hesitantly. Taehyung smiles sadly. 

“I’m not telling you to forgive him. Heck, I’m not even telling you to forget about it. But I don’t want this thing to affect you like this. I don’t want you to come over and be reminded of what happened. And I don’t want to see you upset like that everytime you see his face. Whether you like it or not, you’re with us now. Don’t let one friendship define how the rest of your friendships will be,” he finishes and you don’t even realize that you’re tearing up until you are hugging him with everything in your being. “And who knows, maybe if you show that what happened doesn’t bother you, that idiot Park Jimin might get some sense knocked into him and realize what kind of a friend he missed out on,”  

You manage a smile and nod, knowing that Kim Taehyung is right. Both he and the other boys are worth it. 

The following weekend seems almost like deja vu. Sana once again is sprawled across her bed watching you carefully as you tug on a knitted sweater over your black jeans. This time, there is no need for a bag so you just tuck your wallet and phone into your back pockets as you smooth down your hair. 

"And where are you going, missy?" Sana asks as she pulls up the latest show on Netflix that she had been invested in. 

"I'm going to hang out with Taehyung and the other guys at their house," you reply and catch her brow raise. 

"I knew you'd fall for Taehyung eventually," she sighs and you laugh. 

"I haven't," you grin. "Don't worry. You know I would never leave you," 

"You'd better not," she laughs as you tug on your boots and walk to the door. "Text me if you decide to come home or not!” 

You feel confident and not too nervous and you walk to Seokjin’s apartment. In fact, you are sort of excited. You are excited to hang out with the boys and you are excited to look into Park Jimin’s eyes and show him that you are not hurt by him. You want to get past this. You don’t have the intention to make him feel guilty about what he did. How can you blame someone for finding new friends? It is a natural process. And sure it hurt a lot, but no matter what, you still care about Jimin and you can’t bring yourself to hate him just because he isn’t your best friend anymore. With those thoughts in mind, when you reach Seokjin’s apartment, you don’t hesitate to knock on the door. From inside you hear the man yell: “(NAME)’S HERE GET THE DOOR!! JEONGGUK-AH OPEN THE DOOR!!”

You can’t help but grin at the eldest’s words, and smile wider when you come face to face with Jeongguk’s beaming face. 

“You made it!” he smiles, and opens the door wider for you to enter. You nod. 

“Yeah, I couldn’t stay away,” you reply and his bunny-like grin turns into a smirk. 

“You like me that much, huh?” You blanch at his statement before giggling. 

“Wow, you sound exactly like Taehyung,” 

He laughs. “Yeah, but I’m way hotter,” 

You nod with a serious expression. “Way hotter,” 

The two of you walk into the living room where Hoseok and Namjoon greet you. It is easy for you to relax with them. You plop on the couch and begin to complain to them about the annoying boy who sits next to you in Journalism and smile when Seokjin starts cursing him out. 

“Hey, where’s Yoongi?” you ask, missing the mint-haired man’s occasional snide remarks.

“Probably producing some shit at the studio,” Seokjin replies and tosses you his phone. “Call him,” 

You grin and do as told, once Namjoon told you that Seokjin’s password was 1234. You scroll for Yoongi’s contact and call him, putting him on speaker. 

“Hyung, you know I’ll be home soon,” his voice says from the other end. 

“I’m not your hyung~” you grin. 

“Oh, hey (Name),” 

“Hey Yoongi,” 

“Are you at the house right now?” 

“Yeah, I kinda missed you so I wanted to see what you were up to,” 

“Is this just a way to get me to stop my work?” 

“I don’t know, is it working?” 

“.....You sound exactly like Jeongguk when he calls to get me home,” 

The male mentioned winks at you and you snigger. “Are you coming or what, hyung?” Jeongguk yells into the phone and Yoongi sighs. 

“Fine, I’ll be there soon,”

The line goes dead before you can get another word in and you laugh. 

“You know, he acts like he hates us but I’m 100 percent sure he loves spending time with us,” Taehyung says and the others easily agree. The front door then opens and you hold your breath. It’s Jimin. 

Except instead of the smiling male, a pretty girl walks in. She is most definitely older than you, with her straight brown hair and bangs covering her forehead. 

“Hey guys,” she greets, tucking her keys into her purse. 

“Hey noona,” Jeongguk replies, his eyes glued to Overwatch just like the last time you visited. 

“Is that Eunji?” Seokjin asks and she laughs. 

“Yes! Hi, Seokjin!!” 

He yells back a greeting and she looks at you and smiles. 

“Hi, I’m Jung Eunji, nice to meet you,” she introduces politely and you reciprocate. 

“I’m (Last Name) (Name). It’s nice to meet you too,” you smile. 

“She’s in my year,” Jeongguk comments and Eunji nods. 

“Cool, I’m in Yoongi’s year,” at your acknowledgment she smiles once again. “I’ll be right back,” 

As soon as she leaves, you turn to Taehyung, who looks a bit irritated. “Is that Yoongi’s girlfriend?” you ask, and Taehyung laughs as the front door opens. This time, it really is Jimin. He looks different from last week. His eyes are sunken in and he looks like he will pass out any time soon. But he is still handsome, and manages a small smile. 

“Jiminie? Is that you?” Eunji calls from down the hall before she approaches him. And there is the use of your old nickname once again. “Hey baby,” she whispers as she walks up to him and places a hand on his cheek. 

“Hey noona,” he mumbles, closing his eyes at her touch. 

“Nope,” Taehyung mutters from your left in response to your previous question. “She’s Jimin’s girlfriend,” 

And when you look to the scene in front of you, watching Eunji press her lips to Jimin’s gently, you feel an overwhelming disappointment rise up in your chest. It appears out of nowhere, rising and rising until it settles as a hard lump in the back of your throat. The feeling is faintly familiar, lingering in the crevices of your subconscious, a memory that does not want to be revisited. 

“Oh,” you mutter. It is all you can manage and Taehyung doesn’t say anything about your tone. If he notices, he doesn’t choose to comment on it. 

“Jeez, babe,” Eunji mumbles, dragging her thumb across the bags under Jimin’s eyes. “How long have you been working yourself?” 

Jimin doesn’t reply as his eyes settle on you. You feel your hands start to sweat, but remember the pep talk you had given yourself earlier. You give him a small, unsure smile and he continues to look at you. Eunji doesn’t seem to be expecting a reply either, because she wraps her arm around Jimin’s waist and starts walking him towards his room. 

“C’mon, you should at least take a nap,” you hear her voice fade as she shuts the bedroom door. Your shoulders sag unknowingly. You hear Taehyung scoff as Seokjin walks into the living room with food. 

“Oh Kim Taehyung, you big baby,” he rolls his eyes, munching on some Doritos. “Stop it now,” 

“Stop what?” you ask, looking between the two. Taehyung’s brows are furrowed and he sticks his lips out into a pout. 

“I can’t help it. I don’t like her,” he whines. Hoseok rolls his eyes as he watches Jeongguk play, the black-haired male also listening in on the conversation. 

“She’s a sweetheart,” Hoseok sighs as you hear the front door open once again. Yoongi walks in, looking tired as hell. He throws his bag in the corner and plops next to Namjoon, who is intently reading, while running his hand through his mint-green hair. 

“She seems pretty nice,” you agree, looking at the male next to you. 

“Yeah, I know,” Taehyung mutters dejectedly. “I just--...you really don’t see how they don’t go together?” 

“You’re the only one who really has a problem with it,” Seokjin shrugs. “Besides, Jimin’s an adult. He can take care of himself,” 

“I guess,” Taehyung sighs. “They’re just….I don’t know…” 

“How long have they been dating?” you ask, trying to keep your tone light. 

“Like six months?” Yoongi answers. “They started dating around when school started,” 

“Yeah, and they haven’t really had any problems yet. I don’t see why you’re so skeptical of her, Tae,” Namjoon inputs. 

“The thing that bothers me is that Jimin always tells me who he’s interested in. And he’s the type of person to take his time falling for someone. He wants time to really know them before he asks them out and stuff. But he never mentioned that he was interested in Eunji,” Taehyung tries reasoning. Jeongguk seems to understand. 

“It seemed kinda impulsive, right? To date her?” the ravenette asks and Taehyung eagerly nods. 

“That’s exactly right!” 

Yoongi ponders this. “Yeah I can see where that’s coming from. But we don’t really have any choice. He’s obviously still into the idea of dating her so we might as well live with it,” 

That night as you head home after finishing Iron Man 2 with the boys (it had been Jeongguk’s turn to pick), you thought back to what went on. Jimin had never joined you all and at first you had feared it was because you were there, but Eunji informed you all that the man was just too tired and had been overworking himself throughout the last week. She then joined you and for some reason, your mind kept looking for things to dislike about her. Maybe her voice or her hairstyle. You couldn’t find one flaw and you instead you find yourself wanting to talk with her and laugh with her. She seems like a great girl, and you are thankful that your best friend has someone like her, even if he is not your best friend anymore. 

Months pass by as the last flurries of snow fall to the ground and the first buds of the spring season began to grow from their soil. You continue to hang out with the boys, getting closer and closer to them until you’ve adopted one of Jeongguk’s sweaters as your own and Seokjin has given you your own mug for whatever you want to drink. You don’t see much of Jimin around the house, since he does practically live at the studio. Taehyung tells you that he has a very important dance competition coming up at the end of the year, so he wants to work hard. You are a bit surprised to hear that it is for hip hop. The Jimin you knew used to do contemporary dance. 

But Jimin working hard does not mean you don’t see him. The first time where all of you had hung out, it had definitely felt awkward. Neither of you could start a conversation with one another. But you decide to be brave and just smile at him, gradually moving to ask how his day was, even as you feel Taehyung’s proud smile on you. The black-haired male is surprised, you can see, but he manages to smile back at you and be polite. The smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes. 

This time around, Sana is dressing up with you. “Too much?” she asks, pulling a sparkling red dress out of the closet. You laugh. 

“Yeah, too much. It’s a party at a house, Sana. People will literally show up in jeans,” you grin as you slip on a ruffled long-sleeved dress. 

“True,” she shrugs and pulls out a much more simpler skirt and top to which you flash a thumbs up. After getting dressed, you and Sana go to the house where the party is taking place, Ha Sungwoon’s house, you think. The boys had all told you to come. The house is filled with people and music echoes out of the opened doors. This is your first official party and you can’t help but be a little nervous. Sana is surely the same, so you both cling to each other until you can find some familiar faces. You see quite a few people in your year and in your classes, but you are only, at most, acquaintances, and so you do not want to bother them. Sana finds a few girls she knows, Nayeon and Jeongyeon you think their names are, and tugs you to them. You try to make small talk with the girls, knowing fully well that they are sweet, but you feel out of place. So all while soothing Sana’s worried concerns, you slip away from the trio and begin searching for the boys. You first catch sight of Taehyung, who is sitting on a couch looking extremely bored as a girl tries to chat him up. You want to laugh at his expression, but take pity on the guy and saunter up to both of them before grabbing his arm. 

“There you are! I’ve been looking all over for you~” you bat your eyelashes up at the male, who’s unimpressed expression tinges with realization. The corners of his lips twitch upwards and his eyes flicker towards the confused female who had been flirting with him. 

“Ah sorry baby. Let’s get you a drink, hm?” he gets up and tugs you out of eyesight as fast as he can while you chuckle. He is laughing happily when he turns to face you. “You are a savior sent by heaven, (Name). Thank you,” 

“Hey no need to thank me. Can’t have my best friend not getting that perfect love he’s always talking about,” you laugh but Taehyung stares at you, his eyes softening and a gentle smile overtaking his handsome face. “What?” you giggle. 

“You called me your best friend,” 

You pause. You did, didn’t you? You refused to have a real best friend after what happened and how much it affected you, but there, you went and said it. You said it to Kim Taehyung and you feel great about it. 

“Yeah, I guess I did. Love you, Tae Tae,” you say, and he smiles so wide it basically blinds you. Your heart feels like it’s mending. It feels nice. Taehyung is glomping you in the next second, very happy. So much that you can feel his smile radiating off of him. 

“Ok, let’s actually get drinks,” Taehyung grins and tugs you off into the crowd. A bit later, you find a comfortable seat with your drink, slightly away from the main crowd but close enough to ensure you don’t look awkward, since Taehyung said he was going to go find Namjoon. You watch Seokjin loudly playing a very uncoordinated version of Beer Pong as the people around him cheer him on, and you can’t help but laugh. Soon enough, Jeongguk joins you and helps you laugh at the eldest as the two of you take slow sips of your drinks. You began to chat with him, finding comfort and familiarity in the male’s presence. In the midst, he gets up and gets you a refill and as you down the drink you start to feel just a bit tipsy, but nothing too dangerous. After your third drink...or was it fourth? Well anyway, after drinks, you and Jeongguk are stumbling around like hyperactive third graders. The two of you end up plopping down on stools and Jeongguk puts his head on the counter, grinning sleepily. 

“Are you drunk, Gukkie~?” you tease, unaware that you are just as drunk. 

“Nah,” he slurs. “I’m a man. Men don’t get drunk,” 

“You’re still a babyyy~~~” you tease, ruffling his wavy hair and he frowns. 

“You’re my age, (Name),” he retorts as his eyes start shutting. 

“Are you sleepy?” you suddenly whisper, leaning close to him with wide eyes. 

“Nah,” he mutters. “I’m a man. Men don’t get sleepy,” 

You giggle, but when you look back, Jeongguk is fast asleep. You sigh and smile at the male, not having it in you to leave him alone. You start taking slower sips from your drink and scroll through Instagram to kill time. In your drunk state, you manage to take shaky videos of Jeongguk mumbling nonsense in his sleep, knowing that it would serve for great blackmail material in the near future. You’re about to text Taehyung to tell him that you want you leave when someone plops in the seat next to you. You blink in surprise at Park Jimin’s figure. He turns to you and gives you an almost smile.  

“Jeonggukie giving you trouble?” he asked, taking a sip of his drink. You shake your head. 

“Nah. He’s been asleep for a while. I didn’t really want to leave him alone,” you answer, feeling slightly nervous. Though, the alcohol in your system is not filtering many of your words. “I was just gonna text TaeTae and tell him that I was way too bored,” 

Jimin chuckled. “What? This party isn’t fun enough for you?” 

“Hell no. What’s so fun about a bunch of sweaty drunk people making out with each other?” You take a big gulp of your drink as Jimin laughs. “Where’s Eunji?” 

Jimin’s chocolate orbs roam around the room. “Not sure. I think she was with her friends the last I checked,” 

You make a sound of acknowledgment before the conversation dies down and an awkward silence ensues. You are contemplating getting up and making a beeline for Taehyung, who is standing on a table and loudly singing Fiction by Beast, but someone decides to break the silence.  

“Oh my god, (Last Name) (Name), is that you??” a feminine voice rings out. You look up to see a familiar face and smile. 

“Somin!” you greet excitedly, looking at the girl in front of you. “How have you been??” 

She grins. She hasn’t changed much since high school except that she has dyed her hair blonde.

“I’ve been good!! I had no idea that we went to the same college!!” 

“Me neither! Small world, huh?” you laugh. She nods. 

“So what’s new?” she asks. “Are you still dating Youngjae?” 

She is being polite, but you still at the bitter subject. She sees your expression and hesitates. 

“It...was Youngjae, right? You dated him when we were seniors?” 

You chuckle awkwardly. 

“Yeah…” you rub your palms together. “Yeah, we dated but we broke up before summer ended,” 

“Oh shit, I’m so sorry,” she looks genuinely apologetic and you laugh, waving a hand dismissively. 

“It’s fine,” 

Her eyes move to Jimin and she smiles. 

“Oh, hello...Jimin right? You were in the grade above us?” 

Jimin is very quiet, looking at you with an unreadable expression but he soon smiles at her politely. 

“Yes I was,”

She smiles at him and then turns to you. 

“Well it was nice seeing you! We should catch up later!!” 

You nod eagerly and wave goodbye to her. After she leaves, you have no idea how to start up a conversation with Jimin. He is looking off into the distance in deep thought. You take another gulp of your drink. 

“(Name), I feel hella drunk…” Jeongguk groans from your side. You laugh loudly. 

“You are drunk, Gukkie~” 

“So are you,” he mumbles. 

“You’re drunkerer than I am,” you grin proudly and Jimin snorts from your other side. 

“Not a real word, (Name),” 

“Yes it is!!” you pout at him, feeling more talkative than you had in a while. 

“Oh really?” 

“Yup, any word that I make is real!!” you giggle and Jimin chuckles with a shake of his head. 

“(NAME) I DARE YOU TO LICK YOUR ELBOW!!” Jeongguk randomly yells, shaking both of your shoulders back and forth. 

“You can’t--” Jimin starts but pauses when he sees you rolling up your sleeve. “(Name), you can’t be serious...” 

And then you proceed to put every fiber of your being into licking your elbow. You obviously are failing, and Jimin can’t help but laugh. Neither can Jeongguk. 

“You try it then!” you yell with an indignant pout before downing the rest of your drink. The bunny-like male smirks confidently. 

“Fine, sweetheart. But I’m the fucking Golden Maknae!” he yells as he pulls off his jacket and hands it to you. He attempts licking his elbow and Jimin is so entertained by the struggle of the self-assured male. 

“Golden Maknae??” you ask in the most confused voice ever. Then you break out into a fit of raucous laughter. “That’s the stupidest nickname I’ve ever heard!!” 

Jeongguk stops licking air and looks at you with the most appalled expression and Jimin loses all sense of self-composure as he starts laughing. 

“You little-!” he starts and then he starts wrestling with you as you shriek and giggle. “C’mon hyung, help me get her!!” 

Jimin bites his lip and then eventually helps the male hold you steady. Jeongguk reels his middle finger back and lets it go, creating a loud thwap! as it hits the skin of your forehead. Jimin has tears in his eyes as he laughs, and despite your complaints of pain, you are giggling too. 

It is fine. It is all fine. It is good. And for once, it feels like everything is back to normal. You are so happy in this moment. But then you start thinking, and despite your giggles, a lump lodges itself in your throat. 

“Oh god, you both are so stupid,” Jimin chuckles gently. You lean back against Jeongguk’s shoulder, a pleasant buzz thrumming through your veins, and with a soft giggle you ask a question that ruins everything. 

“Do you even remember me, Jiminie?” 

Jimin’s chuckles die down and he looks you straight in the eyes, his lips parting just a bit. You are sure you look like a mess in your drunken state and you know your eyes are going to start watering soon. 

“What do you mean ‘remember me’?” Jeongguk mumbles cluelessly from behind you but you don’t answer him. You are waiting for an answer. You don’t seem to be getting one though, since all Jimin does is look down at his lap, clear his throat, and take a sip of his drink. 

That doesn’t sit well with you at all. Maybe it is just the alcohol or maybe it is because you’ve been pretending that he didn’t affect you all this time, but whatever it is makes tears pool in your eyes. You feel pathetic and you don’t want to cry over this but your emotions are all over the place. So all you can manage to do is stand up shakily and get away from there. You can hear Jeongguk’s yells from behind you, but you don’t care. All that is running through your mind is that Park Jimin cannot see you cry. You are too confident and it will most definitely bruise your pride. 

Taehyung is now in the middle of single Sherlock by SHINee but as soon as he catches sight of your face, he stops. He quickly hands the microphone to Seokjin, who is looking at you with concern, and gets down from the table to stand in front of you. 

“What’s wrong, (Nickname)?” he asked frantically, cupping your cheeks in his palms. 

“Can we please go home, TaeTae? I don’t want to be here anymore,” you mumble and Taehyung immediately nods. He turns to tell Hoseok and Seokjin, who both nod quietly before he gently takes your hand and pulls you to the door. He doesn’t say anything at all, which you are extremely grateful for, and he walks next to you in silence. The air is cold and you feel exposed and vulnerable. You are aware that Taehyung is quietly waiting for you to explain yourself and in that moment, you get so irritated. 

“UGH THAT JERK!!” you suddenly yell out into the winter air. Taehyung takes a step back in shock. 

“Who?” he questions. 

“FUCKING PARK JIMIN!” 

Taehyung groans. “Oh what did that idiot do this time?” 

“Just…” you sigh. “Why does it seem like he tries so hard to avoid what happened in the past?” 

“What makes you think that?” Taehyung asks, linking his arm with yours as you both cross the street. 

“I mean it was fine. Me, Jeongguk, and Jimin were talking and having fun and we were all laughing and everything was fine! But then my stupid ass had to go say ‘do you even remember me’ and he didn’t respond. It just became so awkward all over again. I mean, is it so hard for him to just mention what happened? Because I feel like I’m the only one who stresses so much over him and he doesn’t give a fuck about me at all,” you rage and Taehyung listens quietly. 

“Well, why do you?” the male next to you asks and you blanch. 

“I--what?” 

“Why do you stress over him so much, anyway?” Taehyung clarifies. You open your mouth to respond as though it is the simplest thing in the world, but you find that you don’t exactly have an answer for his inquiry. Taehyung chuckles deeply. 

“(Nickname) don’t get offended by this but did you have a crush on Jimin back when you were friends?” 

You stop in your tracks to throw him the most shocked expression possible. 

“What?! Ew, no way! He was my best friend!!” 

“So, you never loved him?” he asks thoughtfully. 

“Well--I, of course I loved him, he was my best friend. Why the heck are you asking me that anyway?” you ask indignantly, feeling your cheeks get hot. Though, Taehyung only puts a hand on his chin. 

“Well, I was just thinking about it. Don’t get me wrong, I know losing a friend can be really tough, especially one you’ve had for so long and been so close with. But I feel like now you should sort of be over it. Or you shouldn’t be so affected by the fact that he isn’t close with you anymore. I feel like you had time to heal,” he explains. 

“But I--” you start to defend yourself but Taehyung raises a hand. 

“Let me finish, (Nickname),” he stops you and you purse your lips. “I know it will always sting. But you’ve made friends after Jimin and you’ve been able to live your life without him for years now. So why is it that just being around him brings you so much pain?” 

You try to think of an answer to his questions. 

“I just think that maybe you confused yourself and loved him this whole time,” the tall brunette finished. 

“Well then why did I fall for Youngjae?” you ask, trying to find holes around what you knew he was assuming. 

“What does Youngjae have to do with this? Of course it’s possible you fell for Youngjae. That doesn’t mean you didn’t ever fall for Jimin. You loved Youngjae obviously. But does that mean that you ever stopped loving Jimin?” 

You pause to look at him. Taehyung continues walking, a soft carefree smile on his face as he admires the winter scenery around him. Flurries of white snow that are descending from the sky settle in his fluffy hair. 

Was he right? Did you love Jimin this whole time? Was it possible that you were convincing yourself that you missed him only because he was your friend and not for any other reason? Were you so stupid to try to deny your own feelings? 

“Hm? Are you coming, (Name)?” Taehyung stops at the end of the sidewalk before an intersection, looking at you in confusion. “What’s wrong?” 

You are thinking about everything you’ve ever known. You think about everything you’ve done with him, every laugh, every game, every cry. You don’t think you can pinpoint any time where you’ve been in love with him. But you see your eighth grade self smiling up at him with adoration. And then you see your 15 year old self sneaking glances at him from across the library, watching as he hangs out with his friends. You see yourself giggling at the jokes he makes during his class president speech despite the fact that he has forgotten you long ago. You remember all the times you would think of him even after he went off to college. 

Taehyung is right. You’ve had so long to distance yourself from him and you’ve had years to teach yourself how to live without him. But strangely, you can’t let him go at all. And just the thought of him puts your heart at ease no matter how many bad memories he has linked to his name. 

You start walking towards Taehyung, who looks slightly confused, and grab his arm. In silence, the two of you walk down the street as you approach your dorm building. 

“Wanna come up?” you mumble to the male, eyeing the snow falling on the streets. Taehyung shakes his head with a small smile. 

“Nah, I should head back to the dorm before Jin hyung calls the police for a search party,” 

You grin before glomping the male into a hug. He is warm and cozy, almost like a sleeping bear in the cold winter.

“You were right,” you mutter to him. “I think I did love Jimin a long time ago. And I think I still do,” 

You pull away with a smile and wave to him, catching sight of the expression on his face, one that his mixed with pride and slight shock. When you get up to your dorm, finding it dark and empty, you breathe a sigh of relief. And for the first time in a very long time, you grab your computer and pull up some very old files. 

And you smile and laugh as you watch your younger self giggle and have fun, your heart fluttering every time you see familiar crescent shaped eyes. 

***

Bad luck seems to always follow you around. You groan loudly in the middle of the street, knowing that passerby are probably looking at you weirdly. 

“Well easy for them to judge,” you mutter. “They have umbrellas,” 

It is true that for the few people who are walking on the street, everyone is protected by an umbrella. And there you were, clad in nothing but sweatpants and a grey hoodie, holding a grocery bag as you trudge down the street. It is already raining a decent amount, and the walk back to the dorm isn’t extremely close. You want to call an Uber or a cab, but you also happened to have left your phone on your desk. 

“(Name) you dumbass,” you curse yourself. “But how was I supposed to know that it would fucking rain?! The forecast said at midnight. Not at nine,” 

You are already drenched and you’re sure that you’ll get sick by the time you get back to the dorm. It was just supposed to be a quick run to the store for some pads, what the hell? 

Then you have an idea and you start speed walking down a familiar route. Surely the boys won’t mind if you take shelter at their apartment until the storm passes? Or at least, everyone except Jimin. At the thought of Jimin, your heart goes through a roller coaster of emotions. You hadn’t spoken to him since the night of your realization. It’ll probably be extremely awkward to see him again. You hope he is at the studio practicing for his big competition. But a part of you also hopes to see him at the dorm. 

Pushing all thoughts of Jimin aside, you find yourself in front of the door to Seokjin’s apartment. Quickly wiping your wet shoes against the welcome mat, you raise a hand and knock, noticing that your fingers are shaking due to the cold. You hear some indistinguishable yelling before the door is thrown open. Kim Taehyung stands in front of you, brown hair falling free. A long sleeved white shirt covers his body and he wears grey sweatpants just like you do. A single Chanel necklace finishes his look and you are about to comment on it when he starts yelling. 

“What the fuck, (Name)?!” 

“HEY MIND YOUR LANGUAGE YOU FUCKING BRAT!!” Seokjin yells from inside and you hear Jeongguk cackle. Taehyung utters a half-hearted apology and turns to you, a scowl on his face. 

“Why the hell are you outside in the rain?! Don’t you know what an umbrella is?!!” 

You roll your eyes at him. “Of course I do! I didn’t know that it would freaking rain while I was walking home. That’s why I’m here!!” 

“Get inside,” he grumbles, tugging your arm and pulling you into the homely apartment. You quickly yell out a greeting to Seokjin, Jeongguk, and Namjoon as you pass them and grin as you hear the eldest reprimanding you for getting wet in the rain. In a few minutes, you are standing awkwardly in Taehyung’s bedroom, trying not get anything wet as he rummages around in his closet. 

“Here,” he says, handing you a pile of clothes. “Put these on and give me your clothes. I’ll put them in the dryer,” 

You take the clothes and smile gratefully before heading into the bathroom to change. You end up loving Taehyung’s oversized clothing, and come out feeling warm and comfortable. He grins at you as you jump into his bed, pulling up the covers for an even toastier feeling. 

“Have you eaten dinner, yet? I think we still have some leftovers,” 

“I did, thanks,” you smile and he waves you off. 

“Wanna watch a movie?” he asks already pulling out his laptop. You nod eagerly. 

"Can I use your phone to call Sana real quick?"

A few minutes later, you are cuddled up next to Taehyung as The Circle of Life starts playing and Rafiki holds up young baby Simba. 

You have fun with Taehyung. He is probably the best company you could have ever asked for and you wish that you’ll be friends with him for a long time. You grin as you hear him sing along to the songs and notice that he has a great voice. 

“Wow, TaeTae,” you muse. “You have a great voice! You should sing more often,” 

“Me?” Taehyung said bashfully. “Nah, it’s nothing great,” 

“Better than I sound,” you laugh as you lean against him. "Maybe you should become a singer," 

"You know I want to be an actor," he lets you snuggle into him with a chuckle. 

"Then maybe you should do musicals. That way you can sing and act. Or you should sing all the soundtracks on your OSTs," 

He laughs. "We'll see," 

You awake to voices. You crack an eye open, realizing that you are not in your own bed. You're still in Taehyung's bed, tucked in comfortably. The voices aren't too loud, but they aren't soft either. They sound like an argument. Namjoon is fast asleep on the other side of the room, papers scattered all over his bed, which makes you smile softly. You sit up slowly, seeing Taehyung's closed laptop at the foot of the bed. Where was Taehyung anyway? 

You swing your legs over the side of the bed and shiver a bit when you rip the covers off of your body. You stand up and quietly walk towards the door. Taking a peek at the clock, you realize that it is already past midnight. The storm seems to be raging still. You slowly pull the door open, not wanting to wake any of the sleeping boys. The arguing gets louder as you approach the living room. 

"I just don't understand what your problem is," Taehyung sighs. You pause. 

"My problem?" Jimin asks incredulously. "Why is she in your bed?" 

Oh he's asking about you. Taehyung breathes out through his nose. 

"Again, I told you. She got caught in the rain and showed up. So I gave her some spare clothes and we watched the fucking Lion King and then we fell asleep. What's so wrong with that?" 

"I just-! Why?! Since when is she so close with the rest of you all that she gets to stay over at our house?" 

Taehyung was beginning to get pissed. "Listen maybe you didn't notice, but since the beginning of the year, she's been getting to know us. So obviously now we're frien--" 

"You've been trying to get into her pants, huh?" Jimin asks with narrowed eyes. “You’ve been trying to get into her pants and that’s why you’ve been so nice and welcoming,” 

You suck in a breath. 

“What?! Why would you say that?! How could you think that about me?!” Taehyung’s voice raises in volume. “I am not--” 

“You’re never this welcoming towards people. Especially towards kids in the other years. You didn’t like Jeongguk for so long after he met us and--” 

“Oh,” Taehyung sneers. “Really? You’re gonna call me out for acting weird. What about you?” 

“What the fuck do you mean by that?” 

“You think I’m being weird by being (Name)’s friend so fast but look at you. You fucking hook up with Eunji out of nowhere. You always tell me who you’re into and you didn’t when it came to her,” 

Jimin blanches. “That has nothing to do with this--” 

“Sure thing, buddy,” Taehyung laughs. “Sure thing. When you can explain why you suddenly became interested in Eunji, then come find me--” 

“But--” 

“And like, what does it matter to you? You obviously couldn’t care less about (Name). So even if I was trying to get into her pants, why the fuck do you care?” 

“I don’t care--” 

“Ha,” Taehyung scoffs out a mocking laugh. “You can’t forget what happened in the past, huh?” 

“What?” Jimin growls. 

“You still remember (Name), don’t you?” 

“Taehyung, what are you talking ab--” 

“Haha, yeah,” he spits with disdain in his voice. “I know about your old best friend (Name),” 

Jimin’s eyes widen. “How the hell do you know? Did she tell you?” 

“That’s not important. What’s important is that you still remember her and that you obviously still care about her--” 

“I do not care,” 

“Oh really,” a devilish smirk forms on Taehyung’s face, one that you have never seen before. “Then it shouldn’t bother you to know that I was just trying to fuck her,” 

“Oh haha, nice try Tae,” Jimin grins mockingly. “You’re just trying to get me to admit that I care. Well I fucking don’t. Do whatever the fuck you want with her,” 

“You’re really going to let me?” 

Jimin shrugs carelessly. “I couldn’t care less. Just add one more name to your list of Girls I Fucked,” 

“There isn’t any part of you that is trying to stop me?! Not even a bit? How could you let someone do that to her??” Taehyung is now angry. “This better not have anything to do with Eunji!” 

“No! It doesn’t have anything to do with Eunji!!”

“Oh really?” 

Jimin sighs. “Yeah and to answer your question, as much as I don’t like the idea of you doing something like that to someone, (Name) isn’t a little girl anymore. She’s free to make her own decisions and if she wants you, then I won’t stand in the way,” 

“Jiminie,” Taehyung sighs. “I don’t want to get into (Name)’s pants, alright? That was never my intention with her. I just want to know why you won’t try with her. What made it so unbearable to be her friend again? From what I know, she’s an absolute sweethear--” 

“I know,” Jimin cuts him off. “She never did anything. I just...feel like a huge jerk whenever I look at her,” 

He chuckles dryly. “I freaking cut her off in high school because I thought I wouldn’t be considered cool if I continued to hang around with her. You tell me how I can face her after that dick move, Taehyungie,” 

Taehyung watches Jimin as he speaks and breaks out into a gentle smile. “Listen, everyone makes mistakes. I’m not justifying what you did but I don’t think that you should be acting weirdly around her just because of that. If you really still care about her, you’ll apologize and try your best to get that relationship again,” 

Jimin manages a small smile before he shoves Taehyung lightly. 

“Since when were you so good at relationship advice?” he grins. Taehyung strokes his imaginary beard thoughtfully. 

“I’m glad you came to me, my son,” 

Jimin’s tinkling laugh echoes through the room and you manage a teary smile when you see his crescent shaped eyes. Deciding that you had heard enough, you tiptoe back to Taehyung’s room, shutting the door quietly before snuggling into the covers. You grin at all you’ve heard. So he does remember. He remembers you and he wants to be your friend. He regrets what he did. He’s still the same caring Jimin you’ve always known. You wouldn’t know that if it weren’t for Taehyung though. You shut your eyes and pretend to be fast asleep as you hear Taehyung shuffle into the room. A gentle tap to your shoulder makes you fake waking up. 

“Oh? TaeTae,” 

“Hey sweetness,” he mumbles, trying not to wake Namjoon. “You fell asleep after the movie. Do you have to get back home or do you wanna stay over?” 

“Can I stay?” you mutter. 

“‘Course you can,” 

Perhaps Taehyung was the best person on the fucking planet. 

This time you wake up to someone aggressively poking your cheek. You groan angrily, setting at the hand and you hear someone snigger. 

"Ah, her cheeks are all squishy haha," 

You open your eyes to seeing a familiar grin. 

"Shut up Jeon," you mumble. 

"You want some breakfast?" he asks, ignoring your comment. 

"(Name), if you want breakfast, you need to come get it or Hoseok's gonna eat it all," you hear Yoongi say from the doorway. 

"Aw, thanks for thinking of me, Yoongi," you grin as you sit up, trying to smooth down your hair. You see him smile lightly as he leaves and you stretch out the stiffness in your joints. 

After freshening up, you take a seat at the table in between Taehyung and Namjoon. 

"Did you sleep well?" Tae asks you, smiling gently. 

"Yeah, thanks TaeTae," you beam at him.

"This is the first time you're staying over right?" Namjoon asks and you smile with a nod. 

"Yeah sorry I just crashed here without saying anything," 

"How many times do I have to tell you that it's okay. Our house is your house now," Seokjin stresses which makes you grin. At that moment, Jimin joins the table, rubbing his eyes sleepily. 

"Morning Jiminie," Taehyung greets. Jimin grins at the fellow 95 liner, the two of them sharing a secret conversation. 

"Morning Taehyungie," he replies. You continue to stare at him, feeling embarrassed yet confident. Eventually, his warm chocolate eyes land on you. You hesitate, but give him the first real smile you have in a long time. He blinks, but slowly, a grin forms on his face. You can't help but flush under his smile, and you hurriedly shovel food into your mouth, fully aware of Taehyung cheeky smirk. 

"You heading home after this, (Name)?" Hoseok asks in the midst of his chewing. You swallow down your mouthful and nod. 

"Yeah, I have a paper to write and I wanted to call my parents too," 

Hoseok nods in agreement and you finish up the meal, listening to the boys bicker with a smile. After you finish, Taehyung walks you to the door, and watches you put on your boots. 

“So…” he says quietly, and you can hear the grin in his voice. “What’s up with you today?” 

“What do you mean?” you ask, though you know exactly what he means. 

“I mean you were all heart eyes at the table,” 

“Shut up Tae,” you snap, though he doesn’t take it seriously due to your smile. 

“OoOOoOo (Name)~” 

You snort at his childish behavior. “And you say you’re more mature than I am,” 

He continues his taunting. “But since when did you decide to--” 

“Since I heard everything your big mouth was saying last night,” and feeling satisfied with his shocked face, you wave goodbye and walk out the door. You hear him follow you out and ask “WAIT YOU HEARD?! YOU KNOW I DIDN’T MEAN ANY OF THAT RIGHT?!” 

You turn back over your shoulder and grin. “I KNOW! I LOVE YOU!!” 

His shoulder’s slump and he smiles lazily, knowing exactly what you are thanking him for. “Love you too,” 

***

Even though you’ve realized that you harbor some kind of feelings for Jimin, it doesn’t make it any easier to deal with them. What used to be nostalgia and sadness lingering around his name was now replaced with giddiness and unfamiliar butterflies. One thing that did remain was the sense of longing that you felt. While at first it was longing for that friendship you once had, now it was the longing to be more. Of course that couldn’t happen, not when you were able to see Jung Eunji kiss Park Jimin when he got home everyday. A part of you is so extremely jealous, but another part of you can only sigh because this was inevitable. There was no chance that Eunji was bad for him. On the contrary, she was quite perfect. So you can’t hate her at all and instead you can stand by with a bittersweet smile as the months pass by. But even so, all you can do is enjoy your time with your friends, just as you are doing now. 

“You need to date,” Jeongguk mutters to you. The neon lights in the room highlight his handsome facial features and shine in his youthful eyes. You stare at him blankly. “No offense,” 

“Um, I take full offense. Are you implying that I’m lonely?” 

“Yes,” the ravenette answers. You gasp dramatically, placing a hand on your chest. “You’ve been single all year! You need some action, babe,” he continues. 

“Uh huh, well if you can find me someone, let me know,” you chuckle with a shake of your head as you clink your glass with his before taking a sip. 

"Hm, what about the mysterious man who's had his eyes on you all night?" Jeongguk comments, his honey-like eyes flickering across the room. You follow his gaze and do indeed find dark eyes on you. You gulp, suddenly feeling self-conscious. 

"I don't know, Guk," you mumble honestly, letting your gaze roam to where Jimin is playfully dancing with Eunji. 

"Oh, why not? He looks like he's into you!!" Jeongguk whines, slapping your shoulder. "Why won't you look at someone for once?" 

I am looking at someone; you just don't know who.

"You need to forget about whoever you're still hung up on," the male says, placing a palm under his chin. “If it’s this Youngjae dude or someone else or whoever, you gotta forget about them because obviously, you aren’t getting anywhere with any of them,” 

You sigh, knowing that he’s right. Were you really going to stay hung up on Jimin, who is obviously in a happy relationship already? 

“Okay fine, you’re right,” 

Jeongguk smirks triumphantly before standing up. “Then I’ll leave you to it, (Name),” 

“What?! Wait!!” you desperately call after him, but he only flashes a mischievous grin before walking off in the direction of Hoseok and Namjoon. You groan, feeling awkward sitting by yourself. That doesn’t last for long though, because soon enough, the handsome stranger is standing in front of you. 

You don’t exactly know what spurred you to accept his invitations, but you end up laughing with him throughout the night. He keeps a respectable distance because he knows you’re a bit tipsy, which you can’t help but admire. The guy is extremely sweet and you know you’ve seen him before around school. He introduces himself as an Im Jaebum, a third year, and that confirms where you’ve seen him. You can actually see yourself being happy with him. Of course, that might just be your drunkenness and loneliness talking, but he is genuinely nice. By the end of the night, he walks you home, his deep chuckles ringing in your ear as you ramble on about something or the other without a care in the world. After he sweetly escorts you to your door, you fall into bed with a sweet smile, knowing that his digits are inputted into the memory of your phone. 

***

Two weeks later, you are lazily lounging at the boys’ dorm. You’re draped across the couch, your legs laying in Jeongguk’s lap, who, like usual, has his remote controller in his hands. You are grinning as you rapidly text Jaebum. You haven’t officially started dating him yet, but he has taken you out a few times, all of which you’ve enjoyed yourself to the core. You are biting your lip to conceal laughter as he rambles about his friend Jackson who won’t ever do what he’s told when Jimin gets home. The black-haired male groans in pain as he stretches out his muscles and plops into the single-seater. 

“Hey hyung,” Jeongguk greets. 

“Hey Gukkie. Hey (Name),” he replies. You tear your eyes away from your phone to smile at him, your heart still fluttering. “Hey Jimin,” 

Jeongguk and Jimin make small talk as you immerse yourself in your texting again. Taehyung eventually joins their conversation with a snack in his hand. It is only a few minutes later when Jeongguk speaks directly to you. 

“So I take it my plan went well?” he smirks with knowing eyes as you flush. 

“What plan?” Taehyung asks with a mouthful of chips. 

“What’s his name?” Jeongguk asks, ignoring his hyung’s inquiry. 

“Uhh, Im Jaebum,” you can’t help but smile when Jeongguk’s eyes widen. 

“Wait, that was Im Jaebum!! I’ve heard so much about him. He’s the one who’s really good at b-boying, right?” 

You grin and nod and Jeongguk chuckles proudly. “Total score, (Nickname). I’m so proud of you,” 

Taehyung sits up straight, his brows furrowed. “Wait...you mean you’re…?” 

“Dating,” Jeongguk finishes. Taehyung’s jaw drops, eyes flickering to you with confusion. 

“I was gonna tell you,” you say honestly. “And we aren’t dating yet. We just went out a few times,” 

Taehyung shoots you a look as though saying ‘you’d better explain all of this later.’ 

“Isn’t it great hyung? She’s been single since we met her. It’s time she gets a little romance,” Jeongguk grins as he continues clicking his controller. 

“Yeah, congrats (Name),” 

They are the first words Jimin utters in the conversation and when you look at him he is smiling at you, though it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. You feel a bit disappointed that he isn’t upset about it, but that’s just your stupid fantasy talking. You flash him a similar smile, one that you don’t quite mean. 

“Thanks, Jimin,” 

Taehyung is watching your exchange with observant eyes but he doesn’t say anything, though he looks like he really wants to. After that conversation ends, there is some kind of tension in the air that you cannot break. 

A few hours later, while Yoongi made dinner, Taehyung tugs you into his bedroom. 

“What the heck?” he whisper-shouts once he shuts the door. 

“What?” you ask dumbly. 

“Im Jaebum, (Name)? Really?” 

You cross your arms across your chest defensively. “What’s wrong with Jaebum?” 

Taehyung clicks his tongue exasperatedly. “Nothing’s wrong with him. Just...what happened to Jimin? I thought you liked him!” 

Your shoulders slump dejectedly. “I do! O-Or I did. I don’t know Tae!! I’m trying so hard to stop--” 

“What? Why?!” he asks. 

“Because,” you burst and his hands flinch at your volume. “He’s already with someone else! I’ve been pining after him all these years and now am I just supposed to sit by and be alone while he dates her?! Do you just expect me to stay stuck on him forever?! It’s obvious he doesn’t return my feelings so I’m trying to move on!!” 

Taehyung purses his lips, sympathy swirling around in his eyes. “Okay, you’re right. I just--as long as you’re happy with him, (Name),” he sighs, before giving you a sad smile and holds his arms open. You reciprocate and accept his invitation, wrapping your arms around him in desperate need of his affection. 

*** 

You can only sigh as you disconnect the call which catches the attention of the male sitting next to you. 

“Trouble in paradise?” Yoongi asks, looking down at you. You sigh yet again. 

“I don’t know…? It’s hard to explain,” you mumble. 

“Talk to me,” he says bluntly. You’ve known Yoongi long enough to tell that this was his invitation for you to dump your emotions on him, so you do just that. 

“It’s just---it feels forced,” you say, waving your hands around exasperatedly. At Yoongi’s hum, you continue. “I mean, I like Jaebum and all, but I feel like I’m not really putting my entire mind into this, y’know?” 

Yoongi nods mutely. “So you’re saying it’s one-sided?” 

“Well,” you try to explain. “I do have feelings for him. But I just feel like he’s more invested in this relationship than I am. And I want to be more invested!! I do! But I…” 

“You just don’t feel it?” the mint-haired male offers and you nod. 

“Yeah. And that makes me feel really bad. He’s such a good guy. He doesn’t deserve my bullshit,” 

“Then maybe you should...y’know? End it?” Yoongi advises, picking up a piece of chicken with his chopsticks and shoving it into his mouth. You look down sadly. 

“Yeah I probably will. I’m really going to miss him though,” you mumble. It’s weird to explain how you feel. On one hand, you absolutely adore Jaebum. He was the perfect guy and probably ideal for so many people. He was smart, funny, talented, and handsome. He’d done nothing but take care of you in the sweetest way possible and he’d been nothing but respectful and loving.  You feel horrible about the way you feel about him. You love him, but you hate the fact that your own mind betrays you. Instead of thinking of him 24/7, like any lovestruck fool would do, your mind wanders and lingers on the memories of the crescent eyed boy who really stole your heart. After so much thinking, you began to feel guilty, believing that you were betraying Jaebum in some way as you thought about Jimin. And here you were; Yoongi has to give you relationship advice. 

You are just picking up a piece of meat with your chopsticks when you hear the front door open. Jimin walks in, looking extremely tired. His big performance was now only a month away, which increased the time he spent practicing. 

“Hey Jimin,” you greet. His lips twitch upward into a tired smile. 

“Hey (Name),” 

Your reply is interrupted by Jimin’s bedroom door swinging open and out walks Eunji. She has her arms crossed with a disapproving glare. 

“Hey noona,” the black-haired male greets, but no answer comes from his girlfriend. She continues to look at him. “What?” 

“What?! Seriously? Park Jimin do you know what time it is?! It’s past 11 at night! Why are you just getting home now?!? It’s not good for you!” she explodes. It is the first time you’ve ever seen her yell, especially at Jimin. Though the male in question only seems to grow more tired as he hears her words. He sighs heavily as he begins walking towards his bedroom. 

“Noona I told you. My competition is in less than five weeks. I need to practice--”

“What about us? We agreed that we’d spend tonight together and you forgot--” Eunji starts complaining, her voice rising as she follows him. 

“No! I did not forget!! I specifically texted you and told you that I wouldn’t be able to go out tonight!” 

“You’ve been saying that a lot recently!! What? Is it that you don’t want to spend time with me?!” 

“God, noona, no! That’s not it!! I’m fucking sorry alright!” 

“Oh, great, sorry. The same exact thing you said last time….” her voice trails off as the door to Jimin’s shuts loudly. Their yells now turned into muffled sounds of aggravation. 

“Ugh again? That’s the third time this week!” Hoseok groans as he joins you and Yoongi at the table. 

“Are they doing okay?” you ask. You’ve never really tried to pry too deep into Jimin and Eunji’s relationship. It had been a bit sore of a subject for you since you found out. But you had never heard them fight like this. Eunji was always sweetly taking care of Jimin and he would always show her love in the cutest way possible. 

“To be honest, I’m not sure,” Yoongi sighs. “They’ve been pretty tense the past few weeks,” 

“Really? Why?” you ask, trying to keep your voice from sounding too nosy. Neither of the boys seem to notice though and Hoseok shrugs. 

“I don’t know. Last week, Eunji was saying something about how he’s pulling away from her and it isn’t really how it was when they started dating,” 

“But she probably just feels that way because Jimin is focusing so much on practicing right now,” Yoongi shrugs. “I mean we all know how he feels about dancing. He’s been preparing for this competition for a long time. He obviously wants to put his all into it,” 

“Yeah I can see why both of them are having problems,” Hoseok says. “It’s not like any of them are doing anything wrong. It’s just…” he trails off but you and Yoongi know what he means. You can’t help but feel a little bad. How could a happy relationship go so sour over such a thing? Then you remember your own predicament and wince. 

It takes you a week to finally break it off with Jaebum. It hurts to leave him, especially when you see the look on his face, but you can’t help but feel as though a weight has been lifted off of your shoulders. But you do still hurt….

“I just didn’t know what to do!” you blubber as Jeongguk rubs your shoulder. 

“It’s okay (Name). I understand,” 

From his spot on the couch, Hoseok sends you a sad sort of grimace and you can’t help but cry harder. 

“I-I really wanted to be with him, you know?” you sob as Jeongguk clicks his tongue sympathetically. 

"Yeah?" Hoseok asks. 

"Yeah," you cry. "He was perfect," 

"You know, sometimes fate is just mean like that. There's always going to be someone perfect like Jaebum that isn't meant for you," Jeongguk says wisely. 

"And how many relationships have you been in, Jeongguk?" Hoseok asks the bunny-like male. 

"That's not that point, hyung!!" Jeongguk protests. "The point is that sometimes relationships aren't meant to be. Don't worry, (Nickname). You'll end up with someone great!" 

You sniffle noisily and wipe your eyes with your sleeve. You're sure your nose is red and your face is puffy. 

“I guess. But I really miss him now!!” a fresh wave of tears starts again and you put your head in your hands. Through your fingers, you catch Yoongi holding back a snigger at your tantrum and you whine loudly, opting to chuck a pillow at him. 

“STOP LAUGHING AT ME!!” 

He chortles. “I’m sorry but you were so ready to do it and now you’re crying like a baby,” 

You try to hold back a smile at his tone because you know he’s just teasing. If you hadn’t told him how you felt about breaking up with Jaebum, you know he’d be more serious. But he knows that you feel relieved and so he thinks he’s entitled to make fun of you. 

“Shut up,” you mutter, swiping your sleeve under your eyes again. Seokjin, who had been silently playing Mario Kart, voices his opinion. 

“You’ll be fine, (Name). JK’s right. If it’s meant to be, then it’s meant to be. Stop crying now. You look ugly,” 

“EVeRYoNE hATeS mE!!” you sob, dramatically turning into Jeongguk’s shoulder as his body shakes with laughter. You hear Hoseok giggle and then some footsteps follow. 

“Finally. You always use all the fucking hot water,” Yoongi grumbles and you hear Jimin’s tinkling laugh. You look up to see him and when his eyes land on you, his happy expression morphs into shock. 

“Wha-? (Name) have you been crying?!” he asks, before swiftly walking closer to you. “What happened?! Are you hurt?!” 

You blink stupidly, trying to hide the real tracks of tears from your earlier episode. Though before you can answer, Jeongguk beats you to it. 

“Eh, yeah she is. She and Jaebum broke up,” he informs the elder male. Jimin stands up straight and his eyes flicker with confusion, surprise, and something else you can’t quite place. 

“Oh?” his voice goes into a higher pitch than it naturally is. He clears his throat. “W-Why?” 

Your mood instantly dampens as you think of the male you just gave up. You really did miss him. 

“I-” you can’t help but get choked up again. “I don’t know,” 

Immediately, anger flickers across Jimin’s face. “Wait...he didn’t fucking...dump you for some stupid reason did he?” 

You shake your head quickly. “No no! I broke up with him,” 

The ravenette’s anger fizzles. “Oh. Then why are you crying?” 

“I don’t know,” you repeat miserably. “I can’t explain it,” 

Jimin seems to understand what you want to say and nods sympathetically.

“It’s okay. It’ll get better soon,” 

You sigh heavily and sniffle before nodding. You would die before you admitted that just seeing Jimin had already made it a bit better. 

***

You attentively watch every step that Jimin takes. His movements switch from fluid to controlled in seconds, yet his face is lacking any struggle, almost as if this came easy to him. Though for you, you couldn’t stand on your own two feet, so the way he was dancing right now was extremely admirable. The occasional squeaks of his sneakers were drowned out by the music echoing through the room. Next to you, Taehyung and Hoseok are watching with rapt attention. When Jimin hit the final beat, all three of you began to clap and praise him. 

“Woahh that was really cool, Jiminie!”

“That was amazing!”

“It was much better than last time just make sure you keep your legs straighter when you go down at the end,” 

Jimin grins sheepishly and nods at Hoseok’s suggestion. He starts walking towards his bag and pulls out his water bottle for a sip. Taehyung turns to you. 

“Well, (Name)? What did you think of Jimin’s performance?” 

Out of the corner of his eye, you could see Jimin looking at you for your answer. “It was so good. I wish I could dance like that,” you compliment honestly. Jimin’s lips twitch upwards at your words, but he doesn’t say anything. Taehyung looks satisfied before a mischievous glint takes place in his eyes. 

“I’m gonna go buy something for us to eat,” he says, standing up and dusting off his clothes. Your eyes widen. 

“I don’t wanna eat right no-” Jimin starts but his friend cuts him off. 

“Shut up, Jimin,” he scolds. “You have to get your energy back!” 

Taehyung grins at you; he was really trying to put you in an uncomfortable spot, huh? He then exits the practice room and you huff angrily. Well, at least Hoseok was still here. 

“HEY HOBI HYUNG!! CAN YOU COME WITH ME?! 

Oh no…

The male in question clicks his tongue. “What?!” 

“I DON’T KNOW WHERE TO BUY FOOD!!” Taehyung yells, poking his head into the room

“Ugh~” Hoseok groans, before standing up. “I’ll be back guys,” 

You shoot Taehyung a look of desperation, but all you get back is a wink and the door swings closed. You sigh as the room becomes silent. Jimin is grinning lightly when you look at him. 

“I’m happy you liked the dance, (Name),” he smiles and you feel your shoulders relax. His words didn’t help your sweaty palms though. 

“Of course I did! It was awesome!!” 

Jimin grins at your answer, a slight hue of pink dusting his cheeks. Though you can’t help yourself from rambling further. 

“I mean, if only I could do that!! It’s so amazing how you can dance so effortlessly. Like, it looks like you don’t even have to think about what you’re doing! You’re probably the best dancer I’ve ever met. Well, you and Hoseok. But you’re still so talented! You know, even when we were younger I used to be jealous of your dancing skills?! And it’s not fair! You looked so cool doing it!!” 

By the time you realized that you hadn’t stopped talking, all of your words were spilled into the air. While internally cursing yourself for your running mouth, Jimin’s blush deepens. 

“Aw,” he smiles. “Thanks, (Nickname),” 

The syllables of your nickname as they escape his lips makes your heart race and you smile back at him, ignoring the dampness of your palms. Though neither of you utter a word for the next few moments, you are fine just looking at him. He is about to speak when the practice door swings open. You turn to send a signal to Taehyung that everything was going well, but your shoulders drop when you see Eunji standing there instead. She isn’t angry or anything, but she doesn’t look too happy either. You steal a glance at the clock and realize that it was now hitting 12:30 in the morning. She seems to be aware of that as well. 

Jimin’s smile drops slightly. “Hey noona,” 

“You’ve been here this whole time?” she asks in a low voice. Jimin nods. 

“Jimin,” she sighs, her body slumping with some kind of unseen weight. “Jimin I’ve been calling you all evening,” 

“Oh shit,” Jimin curses. “Really? I’m so sorry noona. My phone was off and in my ba--” 

“Jimin,” she raises a hand to silence him. “You could have told me. I was waiting at your dorm all night,” 

It is then that her eyes drift to see you sitting against the wall and they narrow. It is the first time you’ve seen an expression like that on her and you want nothing more than to press yourself into the wall and disappear. 

“I’m really sorry, noona,” he sincerely apologizes again, walking closer to her. “My mind has just been so occupied with this competition and I--” 

“Let’s talk later, okay? I’m going home,” she says icily, stepping away from him. Jimin doesn’t make a move to stop her from leaving. Before she leaves, she looks at you once again and you feel a chill run up your spine at the look that is remarkably like a glare. Once she leaves, the atmosphere becomes tense, no more the fluttery air that was just present moments ago. You sneak a glance at Jimin, who looks defeated. He runs his hands through his black locks and when he catches your eyes, he manages to send you a gentle smile. 

“It’ll be fine, Jimin,” you offer, no matter how much it stings to say. “It’ll all be okay,” 

“Yeah, it’ll be fine,” he repeats, though it sounds more like he is convincing you than convincing himself. 

***

You shove a spoonful of Rocky Road into your mouth as you watch Taehyung sign into Netflix on your computer. You both are alone at your dorm tonight since Sana is visiting her parents for the weekend. You both enjoyed spending free time with each other and since you had finished most of the work you had and you didn’t have your part-time job, Taehyung was the obvious option. He plops on your bed and snatches the tub of sweetness away from you, to which you protest but are ultimately ignored. 

Though Taehyung seems a little off today. He isn’t chattering your ear off about something or the other and his hands are fidgeting a lot. 

“Hey TaeTae?” you ask, looking at him. 

He flinches and you start. “Hm? Oh yeah what?” he asks absent-mindedly. 

“You okay?” you frown. “You’ve been kind of...jumpy?” 

“Oh,” he shakes his head and smiles lightly. “Yeah I’m fine,” 

You’re not quite convinced, but you decide not to push him and instead focus on the screen as Us starts playing. You don’t notice Taehyung bite his lip and look at you with a bit of guilt. As the movie progresses, there are multiple instances when he opens his mouth to speak, but can’t manage to get words out. It takes him about half the movie, but eventually can’t control himself. He stretches across the bed to pause the movie and you look up at him quizzically. 

“I have to tell you something,” he says quietly. And then he starts. “Yesterday, I was at the dorm…” 

Taehyung lazily lounged on the couch, his hand digging into a bag of Cheetos as he lethargically watched Supernatural on TV. The dorm was pretty quiet this evening, he noticed. Yoongi and Namjoon were in their rooms working on music while Seokjin had gone to visit his brother. Surprisingly, you and Jeongguk were out eating together, with the latter having to pay after losing a bet to you. And not so surprisingly, Jimin and Hoseok were at the studio. So here he was. 

He didn’t really know how many episodes he had breezed through, but he was in the middle of choking on his laughter as Castiel yells “Hey assbutt!” when Jimin gets home. 

“Oh hey Jimini--” he paused when he saw Jimin’s somber expression. “What’s wrong?” 

Jimin looked up and smiled lightly before heading off to his room. “Oh nothing, I’m just really tired,” 

Taehyung knew that that wasn’t it, but he didn’t push his friend, and turned back to Dean’s appalled face. A few minutes later, he hears Jimin shuffling around in the kitchen as he makes dinner for himself before he walks into the living room and plops down next to him. 

“So…” Jimin asks, after a few minutes of watching Sam and his glorious hair. “Where is everyone?” 

“Yoongi hyung and Namjoon hyung are working. You know Jin hyung’s visiting his brother. And Jeongguk went out to eat with (Name),” Taehyung replies. Jimin turns to look at him quickly. 

“(Name) and Jeongguk?”  he repeats. Taehyung raises a brow and nods slowly. “L-Like on…..are they on a date?”

Taehyung reels back, his lips curling a bit. “What no! What is wrong with you?! He lost a bet so he’s taking her out and paying!” 

Jimin’s shoulders fall and he sighs a bit. “Oh okay,” he chuckles awkwardly. “Sorry, I was just checking,” 

Taehyung frowns, but slowly nods, before he focuses back on the show. “So how was practice? Is Hobi hyung still there?” 

Jimin nods in the middle of his munches. “Yeah. I’m getting pretty nervous about this now that it’s so close,” 

“Nah, you’ll be fine. You’re a great dancer. Just do your best,” Taehyung answers. It is silent for a minute, the two brother-like friends watching the show with interest before Taehyung poses a question. “Oh I wanted to ask. We’re all gonna go to Taeyong’s party tomorrow. You up for it?” 

“Who’s we all?” Jimin asks, turning to face him. 

“The hyungs, except for Jin hyung, me, and Gukkie,” 

“And (Name)?” Jimin asks. Taehyung stops to think, though it is a bit curious that Jimin keeps bringing you up. 

“I haven’t asked her. I could text her and see. I think she’d probably come,”  

“Okay, sure,” Jimin agrees, taking another bite of his dinner. 

“You can bring Eunji, too,” Taehyung says. But Jimin stiffens. 

“Uh, I don’t think she’d wanna come,” he answers. Taehyung blinks. 

“Why?” he pauses. “Oh. Because you’ve been kinda fighting lately? It’s okay. You can take her to the party to show her that you still wanna be with her. You know, spend time with her,” 

Jimin grimaces. “That sounds great and all but I really don’t think she’d agree,” Taehyung chuckles. “Why not?” 

“Because I broke up with Eunji,” 

There is a pause in the conversation. 

“What?” Taehyung asks. 

“I broke up with Eunji,” Jimin repeats. 

“Wha-? Why?” 

“I….” he sighs, as though unable to form words. “I don’t know man. You know how you always say that you break up with the girls you date because you don’t....”

“Love them?” Taehyung offers and Jimin nods miserably. 

“I mean I cared about Eunji, I really did. But like I don’t feel like I wanna be with her anymore. It feels like I’m forcing myself to be with her. And I didn’t want to do that because it was obviously hurting her!” 

Taehyung nods understandingly. “Yeah I get that. It’s okay. How do you feel? Are you okay?” 

Jimin winces. “I feel...really guilty. And kinda sad too. But I also feel like I did the right thing for her,” 

“I’m sure you did. As long as you’re happy, Jimin,” Taehyung smiles gently, turning back to the screen. For a second he thinks of you. He thinks of how long you’ve been pining after Jimin. He wants to tell you, he really does, but he doesn’t want to give you any false hope. He doesn’t want you to waste your time longing for Jimin if there was no chance to begin with. That’s why, internally, he debates on whether he had the right to tell you, or if you should hear it from Jimin himself.

“Thanks for everything, Taehyungie,” 

“He and Eunji...broke up?” you ask incredulously. Taehyung nods, biting his bottom lip gently. “Aw TaeTae. Why were you so nervous about that?” 

“I just didn’t want to have you be stuck on him, you know? I don’t know. I was trying to figure out if it was my place to tell you,” he answers honestly. Though you only smile up at him before nuzzling into his side. 

“Thanks for always thinking of me, Tae,” you sigh, though you can’t quell that spark of hope that has ignited in your chest. You feel him squeeze your shoulders and in his sweet voice he replies

“Of course, (Nickname),”

You continue to watch without a care in the world but Taehyung still feels guilt in his gut. Because he had left out the next part of the conversation. And he wasn’t sure if that part could benefit you or break your heart. 

After a few minutes, Taehyung asks the question in his head. “If you don’t mind me asking, when did you start feeling that way about Eunji? I mean, like you didn’t love her?” 

“Um,” Jimin licks his lips. “I think a few months ago? I just hated how she’d always be disappointed in me for not calling her and stuff,” 

“Ah got it,” Taehyung answers. “I guess that’s why you both started fighting too,” 

“Yeah…” Jimin trails off. Another beat of silence passes before he speaks up again. “I…” 

Taehyung turns to look at him. “What?” 

“I think it’s also because…” he pauses. “Because I have feelings for someone else,” 

Jimin refused to tell Taehyung who it was. But as he said, it could benefit you if the person was you, and if it wasn’t, it would break your heart. 

And Taehyung wasn’t sure if he wanted to take that risk.

***

“What time will you be back again?” Sana asks you as she watches you brush your hair. After you’re sure you’ve got all the tangles out, you place the brush down and turn to her. 

“To be honest I’m not sure. I think the actual competition ends at eight but it might run longer. Plus, Jin said I could just crash at their place if it goes on too late,” you answer. “I’ll text you anyway,” 

“Got it,” she grins. In just a few minutes, a rapt knock sounds from your door and stand up. When you pull it open, Yoongi stands there with Namjoon. 

“Ready to go?” Namjoon asks, his dimples showing up as he smiles down at you. You nod eagerly. 

“Then hurry your ass up and let’s go,” Yoongi mumbles, though he is slightly smiling. You roll your eyes and yell out a goodbye to your roommate, before shutting the door behind you. Following the two music lovers out, they lead you to the car. Namjoon pulls the door open as Yoongi goes to take a seat next to Seokjin in the front. Reciprocating the greetings you get from the boys, you comfortably seat yourself between Hoseok and Jeongguk as the car starts. Though the boys continue to chatter with each other, or occasionally bicker, you can’t help but glance at Jimin, who has been silent the whole ride. He stares out the window dazedly and his leg bounces nervously. Namjoon seems to notice this as well, as he places a comforting hand on the male’s knee. 

“You’re gonna be fine, Jimin,” he says.

“Yeah, you’ve practiced so much! It’s all gonna pay off!” Hoseok adds, brightening up the mood with his cheeriness as he always does. Jimin only shuts his eyes, blows out a breath, and nods. You offer him a smile when he catches your eye, and he shakily grins back. In another half an hour, all of you clamor out of the car in front of the place of the competition. 

“I have to go with all the other performers,” Jimin says to all of you. “You guys go through the front with all the people who came to watch,” 

“Got it,” Seokjin answers before breaking out into a smile. “Good luck, Jiminie!”

The other boys hug him and clap him on the back and smack his ass (Jeongguk) but he smiles gratefully at all of them. 

“Good luck, Jiminie,” you wish him with a smile before glomping him in a hug. Though it has been years, you can’t help but remember how it used to feel to hug him before something important. When you were younger, you used to think hugs would give him good luck, so now also, you’d like to believe that they would do something for him. You feel his hands gently squeeze you back before he lets you go. When you look at him, he is grinning at you, his chocolate eyes stretched in pretty crescents and that has you wanting to explode but you push away the butterflies and turn away from him, though you cannot stop smiling. You know he’ll be amazing. 

***

The car ride home is loud and rambunctious, just as one would expect from the seven boys who had stolen your heart. The chattering amongst you all doesn’t cease, even as Jimin flusteredly begs you all to stop. 

“Did you see the way he flipped?!” Jeongguk asks eagerly before making excessive hand gestures to accompany his words. “He was all WPAPPAPAAAAHH and then he landed so smoothly!!”  

“Yeah that was awesome!! But what about that part where he went into the splits and then got up without using like any of his hands?!” you squeal. “That was easily the coolest thing I’ve ever seen in my life!!” 

“Ah c’mon guys,” Jimin whines with a blush, though he is grinning sheepishly. “You can stop now~” 

“And he was really hitting every beat! That was really well done,” Hoseok nods sagely as he effectively ignores Jimin’s request. Jimin only sighs with a shake of his head, leaning back into his seat with a smile as the moonlight hits the glinting gold medal around his neck. As soon as you all barge into the apartment, everyone plops into a couch or on the floor. Yoongi pulls out drinks for everyone and you all clink them together to celebrate Jimin’s victory. It is one of the best days you have with the boys, feeling now worries or stresses and nothing but happiness. 

“Dude,” Jeongguk slurs, his beer sloshing around as he motions towards Jimin. “All those nights in the s-studio really paid off~~~”

“Yeah,” Taehyung agrees, his face turning extremely serious as he looks at his friend, totally unaware that he too is tipsy. “If Eunji could see you now!” 

Jimin, who is now sporting a light flush, looks at you quickly before looking away. You quickly turn back to your karaoke and began to sing excessively. 

“Even though she was a nice girl, you shouldn’t date someone if they come in the way of your dreams!” Namjoon nods wisely. He is holding the handle of a mug from the coffee table, which he had somehow broken off. 

“wHAt wISE woRdS!!” Hoseok suddenly shrieks from his position across the carpet, having even less control over his volume than usual. 

“Yeah I’m glad I ended it. I hope she’s happy~” Jimin smiles, his cheeks pink as he speaks. 

“You’re a mature guy for thinking so,” Yoongi says, sipping his wine and remaining the only one who knew how to handle his alcohol. He watches you and Seokjin loudly shriek to Fantastic Baby with a playful roll of his eyes. You all continue to pass the time with drinks, karaoke, and occasional remembrance of the beautiful performance you had witnessed earlier that evening. After Jeongguk’s very extra reenactment of Jimin’s dance, you stand up and stretch. 

“I should probably head back to the dorm,” you mumble. Seokjin, red in the face, laughs dramatically. 

“Girl, you can’t even stand on your own two feet,” he slurs and Jimin giggles loudly. You stick your tongue out and pull your sweater on. 

“You’re just extra drunk,” you point out and begin walking towards the door. You smile at Jimin, who is watching you go. 

“You did really well today, Jimin,” you whisper with tipsy smile. You really want to talk with him more, but you feel your nerves kick in and you settle with just seeing his pretty smile. 

“Thanks (Name),” 

You slip your sneakers on and wave dramatically to the boys. “See you guys later!” 

“Please don’t pass out on the way!” Yoongi yells after you, even though he knows you aren’t that drunk and can walk for fifteen minutes. You grin at the mint-haired musician and walk out the door. 

You are smiling as you step out into the warm summer air. A successful night for the boy you are obsessed with sits well with you, and having spent time with him and seeing him happy makes you happy in turn. You cross the street and are just about to continue your walk when you hear someone shout your name. You turn around to see Park Jimin standing at the door, a wide smile on his flushed face. 

“(NAME)!!” 

“WHAT?!” you yell back, thinking you must have forgotten something. 

“I NEED TO TELL YOU SOMETHING!” he cups his hands by his lips to amplify the sound of his voice.

“WHAT IS IT?” you ask. You see him take a deep breath and smile. 

“I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I NEVER FORGOT ABOUT YOU AND I NEVER HATED YOU!! I ALWAYS MISSED OUR FRIENDSHIP AND I’M SO GLAD THAT WE GOT TO MEET EACH OTHER AGAIN!” 

You take a second to process his words before you break out into a happy smile. You open your mouth to tell him how glad you are to hear this, but he beats you to it. 

“BUT-” he says suddenly and you stop. “I CAN’T BE YOUR FRIEND LIKE WE WERE IN MIDDLE SCHOOL!” 

Your smile slowly drops, the beginning of a familiar sadness building up in your chest. 

“W-WHY?” you curse your voice crack, but await his answer. 

“BECAUSE-” he laughs loudly and you hear Hoseok scream from the hall: 

“TELL HER JIMIN!”

“BECAUSE I DON’T THINK I SEE YOU AS A FRIEND ANYMORE!!” he shouts and you pause. Suddenly, you fear the absolute worst, thinking that he does not want anything to do with you, that he doesn’t want to relive the friendship you once had. But then you hear Hoseok’s cheering and Namjoon’s praises and you start to think about what you just heard. 

“I-WHAT?” is all you can manage to yell back. You hear Jimin’s tinkling laugh and you can tell that he is embarrassed, but he is happy. He runs his fingers through his black hair and grins widely as Taehyung runs up to the door. 

“YOU WHAT?!” you hear the male yell, and Jimin laughs sheepishly. “SHE’S THE GIRL?!” 

Jimin nods mutely, though he is biting his plump lips to keep from smiling. You want to ask “what girl?” and “what are you talking about?” but you feel like your brain is short-circuiting. You hear Taehyung’s laugh of disbelief as he claps Jimin on the shoulder. “THEN WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?! GO!!” 

Jimin, empowered by the bit of alcohol running through his veins and his friend’s encouragement, stumbles down the street and makes his way to you. When he stands in front of you, eyes and smile soft like honey, you forget how to blink. You are far too concerned with taking in every single facial feature of the beautiful man in front of you. His pretty hands slowly move to cup your neck and you hold your breath. His chocolate eyes are half-lidded, though they search for permission from you. You aren’t exactly sure how you give it to him, but he takes a leap of faith and connects his lips to yours. You won’t ever be able to explain your emotions at that moment, but all you can feel is Jimin. It takes you a few seconds to respond, but when you do, you do so wholeheartedly. You quickly close the space between you two and tangle your fingers in his dark hair feeling as though gravity ceased to exist. He seems to be enjoying himself just as much and he moves his hands to circle your waist and pull you closer to him. You can faintly hear Taehyung and Jeongguk faking gags but you can’t even bother yourself to care. Not when the boy of your childhood has completely stolen your heart. Maybe it’s a few minutes, or a couple of hours, or perhaps even a day has passed; you’re not sure. But when he pulls away from you his dazzling smile is so bright you can’t help but chuckle. He noses your cheek with a soft laugh and intertwines his fingers with yours. 

“You should text Sana,” he mumbles lowly, though you can hear the happiness in his voice. 

“Should I?” you ask back, closing your eyes in his embrace, feeling once again like a schoolgirl. He confirms with a gentle hum as he tugs you in the direction of the house. You lazily stumble after him, your legs feeling like jelly and butterflies actively fluttering in your gut. You watch him with loving eyes agreeing that he had never looked more handsome than in that moment. As Jimin pulls you into the apartment, Yoongi chuckles lowly. 

“It’s about time,” Jeongguk says and Hoseok grins with an excited nod of his head. 

“You knew?” you ask the two of them before it dawns on you. You slowly turn to glare at the tall male who hasn’t spoken. 

“I DIDN’T TELL THEM!” Taehyung yells at you, offended that you would even assume such a thing. 

“Wait...you knew?!” Jimin suddenly asks, looking at his fellow 95 liner, who gulps. 

“Well...yeah,” Taehyung answers and he immediately puts his hands up at Jimin’s glare. “Oh c’mon! She trusted me. I wasn’t about to go tell you that she had a crush on you!!” 

You grin and latch onto Taehyung’s arm. “Thanks TaeTae. I knew you were my best friend!” 

Jimin’s glare extends to you and you laugh. “That’s my best friend, woman,” 

“Hell no,” you shoot back and stick out your tongue. “You don’t deserve such a handsome best friend,” 

Taehyung nods appreciatively and high fives you but Namjoon smirks. 

“No matter how close you and Taehyung are you’ll never be as close as you and Jimin, (Name),” he comments before making smooching noises. Taehyung and Hoseok chortle and Yoongi’s smirk rivals Namjoon’s. You groan in embarrassment and sneak a peek at your lover, but he is only smiling with a shake of his head. His hand squeezes yours and you grin giddily. You suddenly hear footsteps and see Seokjin walking out of the bathroom. 

“Oh, (Name)? I thought you left? Did you forget something?” he asks, and when you all say nothing, he raises a brow. “What’d I miss?” 

The six of you blink and then Jeongguk utters a “Hyung how do you always miss the important stuff?” 

Namjoon and Hoseok crack up and you giggle as you watch Jeongguk dramatically recount the tale to an astonished Seokjin. You feel a nudge from your left and look to see Jimin grinning down at you. For a moment, his smile is so clearly the one you remember and it makes you feel a good kind of nostalgia. The Jimin you once knew wasn’t really gone. In fact the Jimin that you see next to you had grown from a cute boy to a loving man who had captured your heart once again. 

Whether he was four years old, eight years old, sixteen years old, or twenty years old, Jimin had your heart. And that would never change.

.

.

.

.

a/n: so maybe i just wanted some drama and angst. but I hope you guys liked it!!

[tsukikokiyomizu]

Junior High School Memories.

Tw: Child abuse and neglect, abuse denial, bullying, suicidal thoughts/tendencies, parental death.

Tsukiko had been daydreaming a lot since she entered Shujin, at the beginning of senior high school. That brought her bad memories...

That’s right. It had been a little bit after her father died. She had just left elementary school, at age 12, and started junior high. An ex-colleague of her father’s quit his job as a police officer, and offered an in-depth interview about the—at the time—beloved Enbizou Kiyomizu, father of the prodigy Tsukiko Kiyomizu, and upstanding policeman.

He told them about the abuse. The long days in which she would be forced to work under his name, ever since the time she was still a third-grader, without being allowed to sleep or eat until she had done everything. Everyone was told that she was a very sickly, frail child—it wasn’t untrue that she indeed had a poor immune system when she was younger, but that was far less grave than what her father told the others. He did so because, that way, not many people would wonder why she had large absence periods from school, both thanks to work or the times her father would injure her so much that she would not be able to stand up or walk. He told them, too, about the times he would hear the man harshly telling her to ‘just die in a hole already’ or that she was the reason why he was a miserable man whose wife had left. The Japanese media, at the time, exploded with news about that—left and right, people appeared saying that they had seen or heard or felt like something was odd all along.

Ah, yes, I can remember that she would come late into the night to buy food from the convenience store, all alone; I thought it was weird too...

Ah, how could I forget? In a trip to Okinawa, I think I saw her being scolded and slapped in the garden...

Yes, I’m sure that a friend of a friend that works at her school told me about her large absences some time ago...

Some were truthful. Some were just painful, elaborate lies so they could gain attention. Whatever the case was, the man in question was dead—so, all of the attention turned to the sole person who could attest to what had happened: Tsukiko. A 12-years-old mourning the death of the person who had succeeded in making her a great detective rather than a person, who didn’t know how to feel after working so hard for his praise for such a long time. A child that, having been treated as trash by the only person related to her by blood that she knew, believed herself to be responsible for the pain caused to her. Even if now she was told over and over again that her father had been a horrible person, even if Sachie, who was once afraid of Enbizou and his influence, told her that what had happened was wrong, she couldn’t accept it. She couldn’t accept that her father, the person she worked for so long to please and remembered fondly as the one who gave her a purpose, something that even a worthless kid like herself could do, had been doing something she didn’t deserve. No, they were liars, vultures trying to rip apart the kind memory of her father, who only did his best for her and had been hurt by her existence...

So she didn’t listen. Tsukiko isolated herself from others, despite her extreme fame, and would strickly focus herself on studying and working. That way, no one would try to drag her father down...

...maybe that was her mistake. She didn’t know. At the time, she believed even her father’s death to be her fault, and thought that others would attempt to destroy his reputation if they got too close; that, and her engraved belief that she was worthless, led her to become an isolated figure. A famous girl who would never talk to others, unless it had to do with schoolwork. Her classmates, looking at that with discontent and a previously established view that “the famous and the rich = bad, the humble and poor = good”, decided to perceive her as an arrogant, rude girl who looked down on them, and because of that didn’t talk or make any friends.

Because they had decided to look at her like that, no matter what “truth” was presented to them, their “truths” would never change.

At first, they were small things. Her pencil disappeared, and no one knew where it was, even though one of the girls near her desk was holding an identical pencil now. Someone didn’t see her, and bumped on her, sending her to the floor. Ah, Tsukiko, such a klutz, she forgot to get the assignment—it’s not that we didn’t tell her about it, or that we hid hers on purpose, she just lost it or didn’t get it from her table!

After some time, they were getting bolder and bolder. Her eraser, her sharpener, her ruler... eventually, it was the whole pencil case. Sometimes, her backpack would end up “falling out of the window”, or her books would “fall on a puddle”, or her shoes would “somehow” end up on the rooftop. Now, she would be pushed forcefully, as if she wasn’t even visible, and fall with her face on the ground. If they were feeling especially upset, they would even step on her before she could get up, acting as if she was nothing more than a carpet on the floor. She was an arrogant, clumsy, stupid, worthless girl who knew of nothing other than solving cases, and she was probably bribing people or sleeping around to make sure that she could get everything she wanted. It wasn’t that she actually did any of these things—in reality, the more she was bullied, the more they convinced themselves that she must have done something to prompt that. And the teachers, turning a blind eye or just wishing the situation would solve itself, never saved her from their constant harassment.

Who wrote that horrible thing on Kiyomizu-san’s desk?

                 It wasn’t me, it wasn’t me!

                                         She probably wrote it herself,

                                            so she would get attention, right?

                                                                         Duh! I would never tell someone to

                                                                             go and die, teach!

Even when they said that... Tsukiko saw them writing those words on her desk... but they never stopped at words alone. Each day, it was something new and painful: breaking her things, ripping her books, pulling her hair. Even when Sachie, in rare occassions, was able to see through her lies, Tsukiko would never tell her. She would never admit that, amongst her class and even the other students from higher and lower grades equally, they abused and stepped on her pride without any concerns; that, through the entirety of her three years in junior high, she would have to be treated as something lesser than a human being.

After all, didn’t she deserve that? Just like when her father would hurt her and insult her, it was all because she had done something wrong. It would be best if she would just vanish from the world, making it so her classmates wouldn’t have to deal with her ugly, disgusting face every day. That way, they would be able to live a happy school life, without having to waste their time trying to help and educate an ignorant, arrogant, rude idiot like herself. So, one day, after being told that she had lowered the class’s average grade because she yet again “forgot” one of her assignments, her classmates were “rightfully” furious. They asked Tsukiko to find a way to apologize to the entire class, and show them how much remorse she could feel. They waited until classes were done and, without the teachers noticing, they entered the school was empty and put her on the classroom, accompanied by the ones who “suffered” because of her supposed clumsy nature, and readied themselves for the apology.

She apologized. With her eyes to the ground, she apologized.

For always having her head on the clouds.

For being a forgetful klutz who could never do anything right.

They would have been satisfied with that much. But she didn’t stop.

For being a worthless piece of garbage who caused grief to everyone.

For having driven her mother away and made her father die unhappy.

For being someone that no one would ever be able to love.

Unhappy with how much she was talking, they tried to ask her to stop.

What came from her mouth wasn’t the silence they expected, which wouldn’t have made them feel upset or feel pity towards that silly, stupid figure they ignored and hated every day.

Without sobbing, she cried, holding her head with both hands, and begged them to kill her.

Could it be a miracle? Or maybe a student, feeling pity or remorse for what had been done to her so far, told them? Whatever the case was, a teacher had gone back to school deep into the night, suspecting that students had sneaked back into school after everyone had left. What he found was that lonely, sad child. Tsukiko had been stripped to her underwear, her hair had been cut short, and she had been left there, in the coldness of the classroom, hugging her knees and waiting someone to unlock the door. Dissatisfied with how much she had been talking and made them feel like they were in the wrong, some left. But the ones who got very much upset with her “crazy acting”, those decided that leaving her half-naked in a cold classroom would be more than enough punishment for the day. So, when she saw a teacher, she began to cry again, and told him in one single minute about everything they had done—her pride, her already low self-esteem, her sense of worth; they had stolen even those from her, even those things she had hoped would stay with her even if she didn’t deserve them.

...Tsukiko shook her head. After that incident, the teachers finally stepped in, and the rest of junior high went by so fast she barely remembered it. Then, she entered Shujin.

That was far in the past... luckily, at Shujin, the worst they could do was spread rumors. With a dry smile, she looked out of the window.

She had already seen so much worse it felt almost refreshing. How far gone could she be to think that?

[algor-mo4tis]

could I request about flash physically bullies penny and tony and flash's parents aren't really happy about it :D

Okay so, this is technically a chapter for this story https://archiveofourown.org/works/22155316 but I realized it could also be standalone so I decided to kill two birds with one stone!

Tw: Slut shaming, Physical Assault.

And I didn’t go over this well! Sorry for typos!

Not Starker.

-

He didn’t fucking get Penny Parker.

She had gone through traumatic shit that made him shiver, she had watched her uncle die and had to listen as people in school talked about it for weeks.

And yet she was still kind, she was still sweet and she still smiled at him even when he kicked her into a locker and hurled lame insults at her like some third grader.

And then there was the ‘Stark Internship’

So yes, he really didn’t fucking get Penny Parker.

It drove him insane sometimes, she never brought up the supposed internship unless asked about, Hell Leeds has brought it up more than she ever has and it pisses him off and confuses him to the max.

If he had the internship (which he had admittedly tried to join before getting an alarmingly fast email back saying they don’t hire high schoolers) he would flaunt it and rub it in everyone’s damn face because he wanted them to know he was better than them.

And one day. After the frustration and confusion had been building for too long and to top it off his mother being an absolute bitch while his father fucked some model on a cruise ship somewhere.

He snapped.

And Penny Parker went home with bruises and fat tears that were for once, not by a criminal.

She cursed Thor when her aunt is out on a business trip and she can’t sneak back into the apartment to nurse her wounds.

They’ll only be there for an hour tops, doesn’t mean they won’t hurt.

“Jesus child. What happened to you?” Bucky says, the notepad and apple he held dropping to the couch. “You didn’t go out in the suit without telling Tony did you?”

His metal hand is cold but gentle against her purple wrist, he pulls down the hoodie for her face to be seen which is worse.

He curses under his breath again and brings her to a chair, grabbing the first aid kit out of the kitchen.

“This wasn’t a mugger was it squirt?” He asked dabbing at some of the open cuts.

“You don’t have to do that. They’ll heal soon.”

He grunts. “If they get infected it’ll take longer for them to close up, and quit deflecting, I grew up with Steve. Who did this?” Penny face flushes she ducks down but Buckys grip on her chin holds it up.

“Just… some boy from school.

“ a boy did this to you? What is this? Kiddie school? I thought boys didn’t pull in pigtails anymore.” Frustration flares in her. “Well obviously he didn’t just pull in my pigtails.”

Her shoulder hunch in as she mutters a shameful sorry. Bucky shrugs.

“You’ve had a rough day, no need to apologize. But you need to tell Stark..” Her head snaps up. “No! This is the first time it’s happened! And besides he just calls me lame names like.. Penis Parker.” Admitting it makes embarrassment flare up but she would rather admit to him than Mr. Stark. “And.. I could tell he was having a rough time too, it was a bad day for him and he decided to take it out on the first thing he saw.”

Bucky frowns, “but you’re not a thing squirt, and that doesn’t excuse his actions.”

The silence stretches between them before Bucky sighs.

“I’ll let it go just this once, but if I find he’s done it again you either tell Stadk or I will. Got it?” She nods, sliding off the counter to rush to her room.

“Got it! Thanks Mr. Barnes!”

He shakes his head, going back to his Apple. “Kids.”

It happens again.

And Flash feels so fucking good doing it.

But this time, his usual Penis Parker turns into cunt and slut, the bruise that had healed yesterday without trace of what had happened was back again, Flash’s boot come down on her stomach hard she yells out. But quickly shushed by Flash telling her to shut the fuck up whore.

“Y’know, I used to not believe you when you said you had the Stark Internship” he mimicked her, hands making quotation gestures.

“But now, I think it might be possible. After all those lips are pretty aren’t they? Bet Stark thought they looked good around his cock eh, she chokes back a sob. Not wanting him to have the pleasure of seeing her at her lowest.

“Thompson.” Comes a sharp call out, Flash whirls to see Mr. Harrington hurtling down the hallway.

“What the absolute fuck do you think you’re doing?!” And.. and that’s new. Mr. Harrington had always seemed sad, but nice and awkward but funny but never mad.

He reaches up and grabs him by the caller of his shirt, Flash flinches back like so many times before. Jones steps out from behind him.

“Ms. Jones, please take Ms. Parker to the school nurse.” Michelle nods easing Penny up as gently as she can, Mr. Harrington turns to look at him sharply. “You’re coming with me and I’m calling your mother and Ms. Parker guardian,you’ll be lucky if they don’t press charges.”

Flash hangs his head.

Karma is a bitch.

After the nurse dabs her cuts and gives her some pain relief pills that won’t work, MJ takes her to an empty classroom.

“I knew Flash was a Dick but I didn’t think he was a bastard.” MJ snarls pacing the room as Penny sits quietly.

“Is.. is this the first time?” No response.

“I’m gonna say no.”

“He did it yesterday too. But.. my healing covered it up before anyway saw.. except Mr. Barnes but you know me” she cracks a smile, “puppy dog eyes and I can get what I want.”

MJ’s smiles back, but it doesn’t last long the pinch of her eyebrows together overshadowed it.

“You could press charges. Me and Mr. Harrington both saw and could testify.”

“I can’t, flash has money. Me and may don’t have enough to win, or even go far.”

“But luckily, I do.”

Both girls whip around to see Mr. Stark learning against the door frame. MJ gives him a nod to which he returns.

“Mr. Stark! I-“ a hand in the air dismissed what she was to stutter out.

“How long were you standing there?” MJ asked curiously, Tony shrugged. “Believe it or not, when I don’t want to be seen it works like 99% of the time.”

He strides over to where Penny sits

“Honey. Two times? Two times you allowed this?”

“He.. he’s not.. this hasn’t happened before.”

MJ cuts in. “It doesn’t matter if this is only the second time it’s happened Penny, this isn’t an abusive couple situation where it’s harder to get out of this. This is a school bully that can get what he deserves. And the pattern doesn’t care what type of relationship it is, I watched my mom in it and I will not watch my friend.” She seethed, cautiously she opened her arms. Inviting her friend in for a hug.

She’s even more surprised when MJ falls in.

“I’m okay.”

Mr. Stark’s voice is nothing but symptomatic and truthful when he speaks.

“You won’t If this continues.”

To say that Flash Thompson is surprised when Tony Fucking Stark walks in the principals office is an understatement.

Principal Morita looks tired, to say the least.

His chest heaves high when he says “Mr. Stark, please take a seat.” MJ and Penny followed closely besides him.

“Now… our school has a strict bullying policy.”

“Bullshit.” MJ curses, Tony smirks. “I’m gonna have to agree with Lois lane. I hacked into your security feed, it looks like most of your teachers don’t give a shit.” You have to give Morita props for trying to stand his ground.

“That was illegal.”

“How would you like to be exploited for years worth of bullying? And oh, doesn’t one of- or. A couple at least have some kind of sexual assault charge on their record? Do you think that, if the parents of these generously funding folk knew they’re children, they’re daughters. Were around sex offenders they would still fund you? I have even funded a lot for this school seeing as I had respect for it.”

Morita stares at Tony Stark, looks at Jones leaning back into her seat with her chin raised and Parker’s black and blue face and knows he’s looking at a battle he can’t possibly win.

“We’ll wait until Thompson’s mother gets here. Then we’ll discuss what should be done.”

Yup, Flash thinks.

I’m so fucked.

Mrs. Thompson looks like a bitch, is Tony Stark’s first thought.

Her jaw is set tight, twitching every few seconds as Harrington, Penny, and Morita all explain what had happened.

“Oh.” Her voice is sickly sweet, the gentle hand on Thompson’s back makes him flinch which is something Tony does not miss.

“And.. how much will this all cost?”

Tony does a double take.

“Excuse me?”

“How much will this cost, this whole ordeal? 1K 10k?” She repeats her words.

“This won’t be costing anything other than proper repercussions, Mrs. Thompson.” Tony mimicked her tone, Mrs. Thompson’s smile falls into a curl of lips.

“We were.. discussing Thompson’s punishment, a month of suspension,” she looks like she’s about to argue before he stops her. “I talked them out of pressing charges. Be grateful.” She grunts falling back against her seat.

“And during that time he’ll have to write an apology, and go to the guidance counselor office.”

“Will That Be all? I would like to leave?” Is her response, anger barley resisting.

“You can go. I’ll see you next month Mr. Thompson.”

Morita turns back to Tony.

“You’ll Fire those with a criminal record that involves sex offensive and anything that goes past serious robbery and assault. And you will actually be stricter about this policy of yours? Understand?” Morita’s jaw twitches But he nods.

Stark tacks on- “I’m taking Lois Lane and Penny here out for ice cream. See ya, hopefully never.” And with that Tony Stark walks out the door and out of Moritas life hopefully forever.

The tension in his shoulders finally leak, he turned over to roger.

“Pay attention to that Parker, I don’t want hell unleashed on me the next time someone hurts her.”

Roger nods.

God help them if it did.

[flyingmintbunnnyandfriends]

Long Voltron Post Incoming

Okay peeps. Just finished up the last season of Voltron and oh boy do I have a few things to say to the third grader that wrote it. Before I even get started on why it was terrible, let me just say, it was horrible. The plot was lost in the flashing lights and disjointed cutscenes, the focus was completely shifted to a single character making every one else fade into the background, let me not get started on the FORCED romance, and yes, I admit the fight scenes were well executed, all things considered this DOES NOT EXCUSE the poor representation and the lies that we were told. So. Let’s not get all gung-ho just yet. While terrible overall, this season was not a total loss. Bringing back the old paladins, showing just what the warriors of old can still teach the new Paladins and passing on a bit of their wisdom to the next generation was beautiful; just watching them interact was awesome, and it was a genuine plot twist to see their consciousnesses being trapped within an insane psychopath. The final battle was exactly how it should be, one on one, a mech fight to determine the fate of everyone involved. The Acolytes were utilized well, a good setup to the final big bad. Similarly, I enjoyed the use of the Alteans on both sides of the war, as unwilling/unknowing pawns and then true allies to the forces of good. Just. Kinkade. Adorable bab. AND THAT SUNSET SCENE. Honestly probably one of the most romantic moments of the show, regardless of whether or not you ship it. Now that that’s out of the way....OH MY GOD WHAT WERE THEY THINKING??? WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT??? OOOhhhh boy where to begin on this flaming trainwreck. Let’s start with....pushing aside literally every other character in the series to focus on Allura! There were SO MANY plot points that were skipped over or never mentioned again that could have made this so much better. Where was Galra Keith this season? Other than a fleeting moment where he got so angry his eyes seemed to go Galra for a split second there was literally nothing to prove that his transformation last season even happened! It is never brought up, and it would have made an amazing scene to see the fearless leader of Voltron pushed to his absolute limits, forced to revert to his ‘other’ self in order to pull out a win...I know, it’s not all about Keith. Okay then, how about...Shiro? Yeah, Shiro. The one who supposedly lost the love of his life to the Galra invasion of Earth. Adam. Remember him? The one he was crying over? That Adam? And then Shiro suddenly gets together with someone we know nothing about? And we’re supposed to be okay with that?! WE DON’T KNOW HIM. How did they get together?? Yeah, Curtis? He’s a funny dude. Good guy. Excuses nothing. How about Pidge? We get to see her bantering with her mother, which was great, loved it. We also see her in monumental pain following the destruction of Olkari...and no one mentions it. They don’t take the time to tell her ‘it’s okay’ or have a heart to heart...she was given no closure. Hunk, sunshine boy. He got the least bad ending of the lot. Got confirmation that his love for cooking wasn’t just a side thing, that it wasn’t meant to be brushed aside. He was bringing people together doing what he loved to do! Also Sal. Happy he got brought back, honestly. And platonic Hunelle? The best. Not to mention his rock girlfriend saving the day? Even better.  And then...Lance. Oh Lancey boy. What did they do to you, my poor baby? You deserved so much better...Lance is my favorite character, hands down. The happy go lucky, always dependable, self-sacrificing pretty boy who deserves the world and expects nothing in return...they RUINED you. What HAPPENED Dreamworks!? Who is this mopey, depressed, utterly dependent on another person...thing you replaced my baby with? Lance was never meant to be used in this way! Lance was the Soul of Voltron, the one who broke tension, who made everyone feel better, even at the expense of himself. Who gave over and over again and was still light hearted and friendly, brushing off anything negative and always seeing the bright side of things? Who sought out validation in the form of competition, always offering his help...the one who remained vigilant and protective, even against Lotor’s silver words and ‘Shiro’s’ endless aggression against him...THAT is Lance. Not this...sniveling shell of a person. He’s Voltron’s right hand! The one who supports the leader and gives his thoughts and opinions! Who is respected and listened to! Where did that go?! Keith trusted him enough to lead the team in his absence...and in this season? Nothing! He was talked over and ignored just like when Keith left to the Blade. Talk about a step in the wrong direction. Speaking of Keith and Lance...KLANCE IS CANON KING. There’s dozens of metas out there spilling essentially the same thing, but now it’s my turn. Let’s start with what we knew before Season 8. Lance would be someone’s first choice. Allura would have no endgame. Lance would not be a rebound. Whoops, screwed that one up, didn’t you? Also. Lance’s endgame was supposed to be SLOWBURN. SLOW. BURN. Does anyone know what that means? Hey writers, do you know what that means? Because if Season 8 is any indication, I think you need a dictionary!! After six seasons of completely ignoring and at one point insulting (see the ears comment) Lance, and then the whole Lotor deal, we’re expected to believe that ALLURA is the slowburn? When they literally went from date to Lance being her living shadow? WHAT? Speaking of Lotor...we are led to believe that Allura and Lotor are Soulmates, they complete one another. They know each other’s pain, and can depend on one another. Yeah, he goes off his rocker just like dear old dad...but who didn’t see that coming? And immediately after this the mice snitch about Lance’s crush. So what? She decides ‘why the hell not?’ and falls into his arms?! THAT’S THE DEFINITION OF A REBOUND, DREAMWORKS. But you know who doesn’t do that? Keith. You know who sees Lance at his lowest, and accepts him? Keith. Guess who listens when Pidge and Hunk refuse to? Keith. Keith has always listened to Lance, even in the beginning when he rose to the challenges Lance offered. Keith trusts Lance explicitly, completely, and without a second thought. When leading Voltron, Keith automatically follows Lance’s ideas, never speaking out against him, going along with even the most inane ideas like who gets to ride in what Lion, without a fuss. Keith, the hot head, offering no argument. Hmm. Interesting. Lance is the one to comfort Keith during the disappearance of Shiro, and Keith is the one to come to Lance when Allura is unconscious and hurt because of their actions. These boys have seen each other at their absolute lowest, and instead of taking advantage of this, they support and comfort each other however they can. And do I need to bring up all the romantic moments they had? Do I need to did out all those Bonding Moment memes? This pair have had more intimate moments than every other ship in the entire show. Rainbows, the colors of the bi flag in the background, all the romantic subtext...the way Keith’s eyes go all soft and unguarded when looking at Lance, how he lowers his guard and teases Lance, being as gentle as he knows how? How he is the ONLY ONE IN THE SHOW to not only accept but encourage Lance to be himself, that people should love him as he is, instead of Lance forcing himself to change? Or how about how Lance LITERALLY CALLS KEITH THE FUTURE WITH THIS DOPEY, LOVESTRUCK LOOK. The SAME ONE he gives Allura. The same one he uses when talking about Keith to the Yupper, when no one will hear? THAT look. The one that says ‘Yeah, I could be just a little bit in love’. To my knowledge, they tried to destroy Klance because some of the fandom doesn’t know how to chill, and honestly, we kinda deserved that. Some people are just terrible people that think threatening people is funny. But the rest of us? The ones who kept to ourselves and let people ship what they wanted? We have to bear the hatred of the rest of the fandom, who think we’re the same scum that don’t know how to behave. I’m not. Ship what you want, it’s no business of mine. But Klance is the only endgame that actually makes sense! (Besides Hunay, but that’s a precious ship that should never be questioned). Klance is the classic rivals-to-lovers trope, the one that draws people in and makes them want more, to see that happy ending the two deserve. Together. And instead, we got forced hetero romance. And yes, I do mean FORCED. Allura never ONCE said ‘I love you’. NOT ONCE. That doesn’t seem right, does it? The relationship between Lance and Allura was unhealthy at best. It’s not a fairytale romance about a princess and a pauper. Not even close. Lance is reduced to being ‘that guy’. The one who exists only to cater to his girlfriend’s every whim and question nothing. That’s it. That’s what they made him out to be. And it’s sickening. She pushes him away several times, even after they’re together, and he just takes it. That’s not how love works, people. Even without the Klance goggles on, that’s just not love. Love is being partners, equals, finding perfection in your partner’s flaws and growing together. And who do we see that from? Klance. From bickering rivalry, to trusting each other with their lives, from ‘you’re not my leader’ to ‘I’d follow you anywhere’. THAT is love. THAT is special. THAT is a slowburn. And THAT is what we should have gotten. But we didn’t. Because we were baited. That’s all there is to it. Despite all this, there IS still hope. Just because Allura was his ‘first love’ doesn’t mean that she’ll be the only one. Because someone is still waiting. Someone who is ready to support Lance, put his feelings before their own. Someone who has always put Lance first, to the point he left so that Lance never had to question his own worth. And that is Keith. THEY BELONG TOGETHER OKAY? Besides...now that Lance is part Altean and Keith is part Galra they’re gonna have a LONG TIME to figure it out. Because Galra and Alteans live long lives. Who else are they gonna spend it with other than each other? In all, I was disappointed in the final season. It should have been great, the big finale to cement it’s place in history...instead, I’ll never watch it again. I was let down and lied to, plain and simple. I still ship Klance, probably always will, but my time in this fandom is done. After the humiliation suffered because of bad writing and toxic fandom wars, it just wasn’t worth it. We were queerbaited into believing Klance actually stood a chance, that it would be everything we wanted...and instead we were left to burn. Way to go, Dreamworks. You ruined a good series. That last season was pitiful. So many plotholes never addressed, characters left to rot, questions never answered, and all the lies. For all of you that liked the final season, I applaud you. You are a much better person that I, it seems. Keep KICKing Klancers.

[happy-family-reading]

Playful Parenting 

Biography

Lawrence J. Cohen, PhD, is a licensed psychologist, author, speaker, and consultant. His book, Playful Parenting, was the winner of the NAPPA GOLD AWARD for parenting resources, and has been translated into several languages.

 Preface

Being a therapist, the author realized the importance for a child to have good connection with parents. So when he had his own daughter, he was determined to establish a strong emotional bond with her, but this can be challenging. He found it is hard for him to get down to the floor and engage with his daughter’s need for attention and play all the time.

 When the author studied play therapy with children, he found playing is a very important and powerful skill parents could acquire, and the good news is that better playing skills can be learned pretty easily.

 We all know we should spend more quality time together. But how? This book is a guide to having more fun with children of all ages. Through the practice of Playful Parenting-joining children in their world, focusing on connection and confidence, giggling and roughhousing, reversing the rolls and following child’s lead-you will learn how to help them work through their emotional blocks (and your own), recover from being hurt, and rethink your ideas about discipline and punishment. This book also offers practical help for parents to replenish ourselves, so that we can be playful and better parents bringing hope and enthusiasm to our children. Play is not only for child, adult needs to play too.

 Chapter 1   The Value of being a playful parent

“Play is the essence of life”

Even though we all have sweet moments with our children, but sometimes we find ourselves locked in “fighting and biting” situations with our kids, we feel helpless, rejected and cut off, parenting love is replaced by resentment, aggravation and rage. We want to reconnect as much as our children do. Playful parenting can be the bridge help us reconnect with our children.

Play is not always easy for adults, because we have forgotten so much, sometimes we just need a little push to have fun together. The author was at a dancing party, where kids danced with their parents, a boy just stood still with his arms folded, he was too shy to dance with his mom. The author came to the boy said: “Oh no, he’s doing a new dance” then he folded his arms just like the boy and gave him a big smile. The boy smiled back and moved his hands another way, which the author copied again, they all started to laugh, including the boy’s mom who was worried about the boy’s shyness. Then the boy moved his body to the music and started to dance and had a great time. A little playfulness turned the tide.

 Why children play?

Every child has an instinct for play right after birth.  For adults, play means leisure, but for children, play is more like their job. Play is also children’s main way of communicating, experimenting and learning.

 A child who won’t or can’t play is possibly emotionally distressed, like an adult who can’t work or won’t work. Play is a place where a child can be fully one’s self.

 Once, the author prepared all kinds of games to play in the park for his daughter’s birthday party. After he explained the complicated games to the children, they weren’t quite understood the game, the author was not sure what to do. His wife then told the kids: “Okay, everybody, run to the other side of the park and back!”  They all ran happily across the park and ran back, giggling, shrieking, panting and claimed: “This was fun, can we do it again!”  This example helps us see the point of play, simple and joyfully!

 Play is fun, but it is also meaningful and complex. The more intelligent the animal, the more it plays.

(1) Play is a way for children to try on adult roles and skills, discover what they are able to do in the world, they develop confidence and mastery through the process.

(2) Play is also a way to be close and even more important, a way to reconnect after closeness has been damaged. For example, a child and a parent tossing a baseball back and forth, the kid practices a new skill with joy, meanwhile, a deep connection between adult and child is reestablished, and encouraging commends like “good try” build confidence and trust. Or if the child showed emotions during the play, he/she is using the game as way to release a pile of feelings. In this way, play serves kid and parent’s need for affection and closeness.

There is a very interesting story about how Chimpanzees build closeness after fight. When two chimps are having trouble making up after a fight, one of them will pretend to find something interesting in the grass and call of the other chimps to check out. Since there is nothing really there, the group will come and leave, all except the other one who was in the fight. The two ex-rivals will jump up and down over the imaginary thing in the grass. Then sit down and groom each other, the friendship restored.

(3) Play can help children recover from emotional distress. I heard this kind of suggestion before: after a day of school it is better to give kids some time for unstructured play to release the stress from school. In this book, the author has same kind of idea: using play to let kid feel better after a hard day at school. By playing and pretending, or by retelling the story, the scene can be re-created. This time, the child is in charge. Through playing it out, emotional healing takes place. Escaping into a book or playing a hard game of tennis can also be helpful after a bad day.

 When children feel isolated, they can look withdrawn and depressed, or they might look hyperactive instead, unable to pay attention, sit still or calm down.

The most common response by parents to children’s problems mentioned above is aggravation or worry. We may focus on the annoying behavior, not seeing the pain underneath, or we see the pain all too clear and feel helpless to fix it. What we need are keys to unlock the door to that fortress of isolation and help the child out again into the fields of play. Playful parenting provides these keys. One boy had been clingy and whiny after his parents’ vacation without him. He started to cry when his mom prepared to go out to play tennis. The mother learned about some strategies of playful parenting, so she said “I am tired, I won’t play tennis. I will take a nap with you” Then she lay down on top of the boy said “what a comfy pillow” she pretended to snore loudly. The boy started to laugh and tried to cover his mom’s mouth to stop the snoring. After a few minutes of more giggling, the boy pushed the mom “go, go—late for your tennis play date”.

When children are discouraged or punished for attempting to recover emotionally in playful way, they retreat into themselves. But if they have enough chance to play it through or talk it through, usually we will see the problem behaviors, which angers or worries us so much, be solved. Play is one of the best ways to engage with children, pulling them out of emotional shutdown or misbehavior, to a place of connection and confidence.

One lady Lori was chatting with a woman at a playground, the woman had two young kids playing around and they started to climb all over Lori, the mother did not think it was proper and slapped the older one hard. The atmosphere was tense, the spanked girl was upset and angry, she immediately picked up a stick and went after her little brother. Lori who understood the art of playful parenting, grabbed the girl gently, said in a playful voice: “Ohhhhh no you don’t” The girl laughed and laughed and wanted to play this game over and over again. Lori successfully defused a potential dangerous situation just with play, without yelling or hitting, amazing!

None of us gets all of our needs perfectly met, none of us escapes childhood without insult or injury. Play is one of the best ways available to heal from those hurts and to process new information.

When we engage playfully with our children, we find that suddenly we do have energy, both for fun and for finding creative solutions to tough problems. Play is where children show us the inner feelings and experiences that they can’t or won’t talk about.

 Playful parenting helps with the toughest aspects of parenting: tantruming toddlers, biting preschoolers, anxious third-graders, out-of-control preteens. As long as we grown up enough to handle things like keeping them safe and getting dinner on the table, our children want us and need us to loosen up. Let us all becoming playful parents! The following chapters will talk more about how to become fun and effective playful parents.