#it's literally making me reconsider my opinion of him as a person because of how incorrect that is

[lilybarthes]

*

[artist-issues]

Your words and your posts have been incredibly disheartening for me to see. My mother left the church. She is not an apostate, but she did question the church’s teachings in secret. She completely left faith when I was born. I have congenital heart defects, which I was born with. I nearly died on the operating table. For this reason, my mother and I do not believe in God, who is said to be all-powerful and all-benevolent. My mother is a wonderful person. She risked her life in the Covid-19 pandemic as she works at a hospital. If anyone deserved to live in an eternal paradise, it would be her. Your LGBTQ+ views have also upset me. My oldest friend, who I have known since before I could even remember, is transgender and gay, and have been more supportive to me as a disabled person than any Christian has been. I’m only 18 years old, yet I know that you chose faith over experiences with the wonderful parts of humanity. Respectfully, please reconsider your views on gay and trans people.

I truly appreciate how thoughtfully and respectfully you typed out this message. It is clear that these matters mean a lot to you and I'm going to go ahead and assume that you aren't speaking out of any kind of hate.

I would just offer you a counter-perspective, and maybe by understanding where I'm coming from, you can see that I'm not speaking out of any kind of hate for people, either. I'm half blind. I was born that way. My twin sister and I were taken by emergency cesareans-section when we were incredibly, dangerously premature. My twin was given no chance of survival; the cesarean was just meant to give me a 50% chance of survival. At the time, my mother was recently married to a 19 year-old drug dealer after her own father abused and abandoned her and her mother. She'd been living apart from the faith for years, rejecting God to follow the occult or whatever political party had hear heart at the time. My father hated God.

But when my sister and I were fighting for life for weeks on end, and nobody was sure if we would live or die, and they had to bring us home with heart monitors because our hearts would literally stop beating several times a night, my mom realized how helpless she was to do anything to save us. And she prayed. And we lived. Both of us. Not only that, but my father, at 19 years old, addicted to drugs since the age of 13, narrowly escaped death and gave his life to Christ. After a whole life of having no social skills unless he was high, doing whatever he wanted to whoever he wanted, and caring about nothing but himself, now he is a Pastor (bi-vocationally; he is also a tradesman working with his hands) and has given me and all my family, and many other families, everything we have in our lives through his dedicated and faithful life. He and my mother have been happily married and serving God with their whole lives for almost thirty years now.

And not only them, but me, my twin sister, my younger sister, my little brother, my grandfather (who was an actual killer and drug addict as well) we all know God. We all have a relationship with Him. And that's the biggest most wonderful gift He gave us, out of all those wonderful things He did for us. Saving my life, my dad's life, my twin's life, changing who they were and making them new people.

I'm not telling you all that to like, compare disabilities or traumas or whatever. That would be ridiculous for lots of reasons. But I'm just trying to be honest.

It's not a religion or a system of beliefs that I've subscribed to. It's not a social flag I live under. It's not something I do just because my parents or the people in my immediate community have shown me. It's because He's real, and He showed Himself to me—when it's just me and Him, and nobody else's opinion or say-so matters— and it's all really true—everything the Bible says. And He's so much better, and so much more benevolent, than anyone on earth can describe to you.

And, at the same time, when you understand who He is, and who we are...the question isn't "how could a good God let anyone go to Hell instead of paradise?" The question is, "how could He let any of us live after what we did?" It's hard. But seriously, just play pretend with me for a bit, if only to "understand my perspective." Pretend there was a God, all-powerful, endlessly loving, in fact, Love Itself. The love that was His very nature spilled out so much that He created—created beautiful, amazing, complex creatures who were intrinsically full of worth and light, and made to reflect Him, that Love, back to Him, and share in it. A big happy family.

And then those creatures from the dirt committed cosmic treason and said "screw You, I don't care if You created me and I don't care if You love me or want to be in relationship with me: I want to be You. I want to call the shots." And those creatures from the dirt basically did the cosmic version of climbing in their father's lap to spit in His face, and go stab each other over fleeting pleasures in the gutter because the mansions He was offering them wasn't as good as pretending they could be gods of their own lives.

That's the story. Thats what happened. Read Genesis, if you have the time and if you're of the heart to. And because of what we chose, we got twisted up. I'm sure you read that, in my posts. So even the thing we were made for—love—got mangled up inside us and we can't express it the right way anymore.

He would've been justified in wiping us out. Starting over with new creatures. We were His creation. He gets to decide what we are and what to do with us: we betrayed and insulted and defied our rightful King. But He's not like that. He had no reason to--no obligation to--but He chose to do the work and make a way for us to be back in relationship with Him. And He chose to do it by subjecting Himself to unimaginable torture and darkness, which would have been ours by right if He hadn't taken it for us.

I know that you love your mom. It is plain to see. And I understand the feeling. But if you really get to know the God of the actual Bible, instead of just the memes and the flawed people who try to explain Him—if you really get to know Him, between you and Him, you'll see that He actually loves your mom more than you do. And He loves you more than you, or anyone, does. Because He knows you both better and more intimately than you even know Yourselves. He made you. It'd be like an author getting to dive down into the story and tell their characters everything about themselves.

That's the kind of love we were made for. The kind of love that is there even though you don't deserve it, even though you're not entitled to it—the kind of love that would die for you while you're still hating Him.

I mean just stop and think about it, clear your brain of everything everyone has ever told you about LGBTQ+ and all that. And just think: can you love someone wholeheartedly and still know they're in the wrong? Even when they wholeheartedly believe they're right? Even when they're hurt by you believing they're in the wrong? Of course you can. Anyone who's had a loved one with a self-destructive habit, like alcohol addiction or an abusive lover or just a toxic personality trait or two, can relate to that common sense. They can say, "of course I love you. That's why I'm telling you to stop doing this, it's hurting you, it's not good for you, I know it doesn't feel that way, but it's the truth."

So if you believe that there are some circumstances where that applies, what makes it so unloving for this hypothetical God, who knows the best thing for your friend and knows your friend better than you do, to say so about being LGBTQ+? Why should LGBTQ+ be any different?

Well, the answer, of course, is that you don't believe it is true that it's wrong. Because, if we rewind, you don't believe in God. But you just told me that you came to that conclusion kind of...after feeling hurt by Him. You almost died, first , then your mom chose to leave Him behind and go ahead and live as if He doesn't exist. And you did, too.

But let's go back to playing pretend. If God exists, then He didn't act how you think He should've, as an "benevolent" God: He didn't do YOUR version of "good." So you abandoned Him. (We're pretending like He exists, from your perspective.) He didn't do your version of good, you feel mistreated, so you walked away from Him.

But He would never do that to you. If He's the kind of person the Bible says He is, He doesn't treat you that way. When you (humanity) didn't do His version (which is the only real version, since He invented it) of good, He didn't abandon you. He totally could have. But instead He made a way for your relationship to get fixed. But you have free will. So He's not going to force you to love Him and accept the gift. If you want to continue for all eternity without being with Him, you can. He gives you that option.

But then don't wonder why people who choose that option don't get "eternal paradise." Because according to the Bible, that's all heaven is: getting to be in relationship with God forever. Fully who He made you to be. If you don't want that, He won't force it: in fact, He couldn't. It wouldn't be just, and He is always just.

The truth is, after what we did to Him, none of us deserve anything from Him. I didn't deserve to survive in that ICU. Neither did my sister. Neither did my father or mother or grandfather. None of us should be allowed to inhale another breath; we're the King's people who betrayed Him and tried to steal His throne. But He is so good that instead He turns around and adopts us.

I know this is rambly. But you messaged me so genuinely, I just sort of wrote this as if I were sitting down and talking it all out, one word in front of the other, with you. I don't know you. I know these are very hot button topics, and very personal issues; but like you, I think they're of the utmost importance.

So I will keep considering the LGBTQ+ and transgender issues—but you have to understand that I'm in service to the King, so to speak. I love Him, He loves me, and He's my God. When I consider any part of reality, it's impossible to do so without Him as the center and standard of truth. Without Him, who gets to decide what's right or wrong? Just me. And on my own, I am inconsistent, selfish, ruinous. But I'm not on my own. And in the meantime, I'll ask you to consider God, the real God, of the Bible. Not what a church of whatever denomination tells you—not to start with. Not what I tell you, or anyone tells you. Just what He said about Himself, straight from the Bible. Let Him speak for Himself. Thanks for reaching out.

[sillyzombiedelusion]

To start with, Theon is a bad guy, but more importantly, a boring character. I actually stopped reading the books because of him (because the books were suddenly like, "here's what Theon's doing", and I was like, "the fuck? Who is that? I never heard that name before in my life. I better watch the TV show so I have faces to help me remember").

This doesn't make him a bad character, this means you personally weren't interested in him, which isn't a universal constant you can claim 💀

You could certainly do something with his split loyalties and bad decisions, but the TV show never made me interested. His choices never felt driven by his inner conflict, just by him being stupid and greedy.

So you didn't examine his character's nuance? Or the fact that someone being "stupid and greedy" doesn't make them uninteresting??

But then, and this is crucial, he has the worst redemption arc possible. First of all he kills two kids. We later learn that these kids were not actually the main characters we thought they were and the show treats it as if that made it okay, but no, it doesn't. And then he gets captured and horrifically tortured and mutilated and eventually gets released. Throughout this he barely makes any decision, nor does he ever give the impression that he might reconsider his actions. The show treats it as redemption, but he doesn't seem to have learned anything other than "Boltons are bad". The way he interacts with Sansa's storyline, portrayed as the hero even though he does almost nothing to actually help her, is particularly egregious.

I mean if you actually read the book you would have a better understanding of theon's character arc, but apparently you decided he was too boring 💀

I don't personally love theon's development throughout the show, but claiming that theon didn't show any remorse for his actions or help sansa is an unusual reach. He doesn't "make any decisions" except for, you know, killing miranda and deciding to help sansa escape winterfell. He's also... been tortured to the point that his mental state has almost completely detiorated.

(Not that Sansa's storyline was all that great to begin with, it took way too long for her to become a politician who proudly has her enemies murdered. That should have happened at least a year or two earlier.)

Not even gonna analyze this, this is just wrong.

Now you might say, isn't that literally the same exact redemption arc as Jaime, who is a great character who everybody loves? Yes, that is true, with one key difference: Jaime has charisma and charm, and he seems actually affected by what's happening to him. Not just in an "ouch ouwie ouch" way, but it genuinely makes him think and reconsider, and his relationship with Brienne is genuinely fun and interesting in a way that the few moments Sansa and Theon share absolutely aren't.

Once again this is your personal opinion and not a universal constant. Also you just admitted the thing huh 💀 "a redemption arc isn't valid unless I personally find the character charming" is really your whole argument here. Also, it's insane to me how you appear to be going almost completely off of show canon, but somehow insist that jaime is better than theon because he "actually changes".

Theon sucks. Theon deserved worse than what happened to him. Theon is boring, his redemption is completely unearned and also boring, and the pains and tribulations on his way to his redemption are also boring and annoying. I watched all of the last season and I still think Theon is my least favourite part of the show (mostly because there's no way to pretend that his story wasn't canon and doesn't count). Fuck Theon. Vote Zuko!

"I find this character boring so he is actually a horrible person and horribly written, and this cannot possibly just be my own personal opinion".

[hunters-heathen]

I know you wanted headcanon or blurb requests but I actually just want to know what your favorite thing about each batch member is?? If that's okay? I know you said Hunter so you can just do him specifically but if you have something for every member that would be so fun too :)

First of all, anon, how dare you make me choose just one thing… how am I supposed to do this djdjdjdjdj I’ll give it a try

Hunter: god, what can I even say as my final decision?! I think overall I love Hunter’s grit and determination. I love that he’s willing to go above and beyond for his family, no matter what it takes. No matter how scary the mission may be. He reminds me a lot of Joel Miller in that respect, with his determination and feral behavior trying to get Omega back. And his attitude with Hemlock while being tortured- GOD like he must have been so scared & in so much pain but he still fought back (also? His voice is so sexy 🤭🤭🤭)

Crosshair: his character development. His arc. I can confidently say it was one of the best character arcs I’ve ever witnessed (on a more superficial level, his sass is so real like what sass can you give me in the bedroom, sir??) and I hope that those who never gave him a chance before can see how far he’s come and reconsider their opinions

Tech: oh, Tech… how I miss you… my favorite thing for Tech would be the way that he comforted Omega in the little cave after Echo left the group in season 2. Like he’s just so comforting for everyone in that scene and I feel like so many people need his “change is a fundamental part of life” advice. I know I did, and I loved it. For someone like Tech, who hates change, to acknowledge that it is inevitable and very much a part of our journeys… idk, it just really helped me. And it continues to help me (and he’s also such a cutie?????)

Wrecker: his balance between playful personality and getting serious when he needs to! Wrecker knows how to light up a room but he also is able to go from 0-100 when it comes to protecting his family & friends and I love that for him. He was easily the best character for comedic relief when tensions were high during the show

Echo: you already know I’m obsessed with that ARC badassery. His strategy and fighting in the finale was mind blowing and I don’t think I’ll get over it anytime soon. Like seriously I think he practically soloed that whole thing (props to the whole team though! It’s just that Echo’s skills really shown through this episode)

Omega: I’m doing 2 things for omega because screw you (kidding!!) - so a) I love how she copies each of her brothers’ specific movements and/or just carries so much of her brothers in her own personality, b) the fact that she never gives up. If I had been her, trapped inside that mountain? I would’ve given up. Accepted the fate I thought I was dealt. But Omega pushed forward & I’m literally so proud of her (so are the boys!)

[hxhhasmysoul]

Sorry if I'm late for the ship ask game. Can I ask for these ships :

- Killua/Gon (my fav non canon ship from any shounen until now)

- Zuko/Sokka (my fav ship from ATLA, and they're also my top 5 fav characters from that series)

- Gojo/ Getou (sorry, I know you dislike those two, but I want to know your opinion on this ship. Also, they're my main reason to enter JJK fandom)

Thx if you want to answer

KilluGon

Absolutely ship it!

What made you ship it?

Canon, they're prone to these very romantic moments.

What are your favourite things about the ship?

How devoted they are to one another. They meet by accident and get entangled with each other so quickly. Killua follows Gon around during the exam, then Gon goes to save him and since then it becomes a duh for them that they do everything together. And then the trauma they both endure puts a strain on their bond and we see in real time how their relationship partially sours because they are too young and they don't know how to deal with the trauma and the stress. They make each other better and worse, and it just feels so real. It's just amazing.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

Idk how unpopular it really is but Gon isn't abnormally selfish, and he's not some villain in their relationship. They both contribute to it hurting them both. People getting hurt in relationships and still fighting for them and working on them is just so normal. I think also that people who dislike Gon or have no interest in him should no be shipping this. And Killua isn't a soft uwu boi. He's got a mean streak, is petty and prone to addiction, the soft boi outfits are a lie.

Zuko/Sokka

I don't ship it.

Why don’t you ship it?

In a previous ask reply I talked about how much I like MaiKo. And that's just my default ship for Zuko. The thing with Sokka is that his heterosexuality forces him to reconsider his misogyny, it's not ideal that this is what makes him start respecting women but honestly, who cares as long as he doesn't act like sad loser towards women in the end. And I'm saying this because having a sister who was his life line and his keeper for years after they lost their mother and were left behind by their father, did nothing to make him not a dick to women. And I think that if Sokka'd been gay, he'd've never changed. He'd've been one of those gays who look down at women. What if he lead Zuko there too? Like Azula makes Zuko's life quite awful, so some bigoted takes about women could've made him a misogynist and feel justified for it too.

What would have made you like it?

If they had more chemistry in canon. I just can't imagine an exciting dynamic between them to engage in shipping it? Nothing about this ship makes me think they could make each other better and that's a must for me to ship anything, really.

Despite not shipping it, do you have anything positive to say about it?

I'm sorry but not really. I have barely seen this ship around because I don't go to the ATLA fandom, I don't think even fanart for it has ever crossed my dash. I mean it's marginally better than Zuko/Katara, because that one is just toxic heterosexuality the ship.

Gojo/ Getou

omg, not really.

Why don’t you ship it?

Like with HisoIllu, I accept that this is a logical ship and it's likely canon. But unlike HisoIllu, I actually actively can't stand it.

Generally, considering how toxic Gojou's personality is, I consider all his het ships misogyny and all his queer ship, queerphobia, even such absolutely toxic shit like SukuGo, even GoKen, even Gojou/Touji. I don't even like Touji but not even he deserves that. Apart from SatoSugu. Getou was a truly disgusting fascist adult and a condescending fuck as a teen, I think they can have each other.

Why I actively despise it, is because of the fandom. The fans of these two characters separately and those of this ship are some of the loudest and most obnoxious in this fandom. They will literally take panels, scenes or chapters that are about other characters and unleash some truly unhinged word vomit to make it seem like there's some connection to Gojou, Getou or their ship. Usually it's either complete misrepresentation of what is in the manga or pure untagged fanfiction. But the tags of other characters get regularly flooded by this kind of shit. They act as if they couldn't stand there being parts of the JJK fandom where their favs are not worshiped, where their ship is not the most important thing.

What would have made you like it?

Nothing. If it weren't for the fans, I would've been neutral about it. I wouldn't have cared about it because a thought about any dynamic between these two assholes leaves me completely cold. But I wouldn't've cringed when I saw it in the tags to the fics in my tags. I wouldn't've cringed writing the single Gojou involving scene I've ever written.

Despite not shipping it, do you have anything positive to say about it?

No, I'm still sad that the most awful fans of these two and their ship haven't rage quit the fandom when Sukuna finally reduced Gojou to tolerable portions. Honestly it seems to be getting worse. Despite how liberally I block, it still often feels, even on some leaks days, that there's more about this ship in the JJK tags than of the actually relevant stuff.

[bunglegaydogs]

Hiiii I'm just sending an ask because they're all different posts (read : I'm lazy) so please don't mind me lol

First and foremost, YOU ARE AMAZING AT EXPRESSING YOUR THOUGHTS AND YOUR ESSAYS ARE ALWAYS SO NUANCED?? SO YOU SAYING THAT WAS A HUGE COMPLIMENT OMG- I love reading your bsd essays so much and it's just now that I realised that they're all your essays abaammw some of the best in the fandom really. I'm always baffled when in the middle of an essay you go "I may not be articulating my thoughts right" or "this is kind of just put together" because girl you're amazing! Never stop writing these please ajajahsbw ALSO! Hearing your little thoughts and feelings pop up in the middle of an essay makes it so endearing to me. Like, that's a whole ass person writing these many words just to express how much they like this show and they're so adorable! (So sorry if that's offensive idk if calling someone adorable is)

Also, completely unrelated lol but this is exactly why I prefer to ask people questions instead of googling! Knowing that the person explaining is a human has their own opinions and hearing their feelings and experiences is so much more better and relatable than reading stuff off a Google website. Also your pfp is the cutest everyone has cute pfps nowadays 😭 anyways yes cute pfp :D

Actually getting to the point now:

1) yes yes Oda and Dazai's relationship is so dear to me I love them sm and I adore seeing Atsushi all caring for his mentor 😭 he's basically Dazai's emotional support cat!! Dazai let the boy in please I'm begging you he can purr probably and it would melt away your stress pls pls (Maybe everyone in the ADA sees Atsushi as their emotional support cat...)

2) Mori is a piece a shit, and you should be allowed to say it. I'm never biased in my writing but I loathe that guy with my very being and the whole people who like Mori thing really got me reconsidering...was *I* the bad guy for not liking a character when I actively liked a character very similar to him? Then I realised, I completely respect and treat equally all the people who don't like/hate Dazai. I don't treat them any different just because they don't like a character. And that's what I should expect too!

There's no post defending Dazai, and yet I still like him because I accept his wrongdoings and want him to keep getting better, like Oda told him to. Yknow, the argument would be MUCH different if Dazai was a woman and not a man, imagine bashing someone for liking a teen girl and not liking the guy who groomed her to be his heir. Yeah, really puts things into perspective. I'm not sexist, I treat (respectful) men and women equally, but Mori is just. No.

3) I haven't see it before in any canon source material but I feel like it's definitely true. It's clear that Dazai WANTS to want to keep living, but he can't bring himself to want it because of all the pain he's endured. He literally said in dark era that the reason he joined the mafia was to try and seek meaning in life by being close to death and violence. It's ironic, Dazai feels the most alive when he's about to LOSE that privilege. It could also mean that Dazai only realises the "value" in living when he's about to lose it. Perhaps he thinks of things he could've done, things he'll regret, and that helps him to stop before he actually does it. But in my opinion? I don't think he finds anything of worth in that time. He just convinces himself that he does. This is a personal hc but it's probably likely to be the case.

If you've listened to the song My R, you'll know exactly what I'm talking about.(totally recommend btw!).The girl in the song speaks to herself about her woes and the 'other' version of her comforts her telling her about all the things that she DOES have, but by the end of the song, she has lost everything of meaning and she can't comfort the "girl". It is only revealed that the girls she comforted are different versions of HERSELF that she stopped from jumping.

Anyways, in conclusion, SOMEBODY PLEASE GIVE THIS BOY A HUG HE DESERVES IT

oh my god oh my god oh my god

i am sat here on the verge of TEARS in my goddamn chuuya cosplay

okay okay give me a second i need to collect myself

you are singlehandedly the SWEETEST person ever im sobbing

literally i cant- thank you so fucking much! you dont understand how much this all means to me WOWOWOWOW <33333333

literally, my brain doesnt let me consume my content positively and so i always think that theyre quite bad or that im the only person who thinks that or that im saying all the wrong things lol

i have so many words and thoughts floating around in my little brain that i just cant find the words for, so thats honestly what those rants are, my delusional 4am thought processes when i deep things too much

and YOU THINK??? genuinely, thank you!!! i love reading people's essays and thoughts, so hearing you say that genuinely just warms my absolute heart <3

and yes yes i do get quite sidetracked very often and start just rambling and adding my own personal twists- genuinely i thought that was annoying for people to read, but you're just putting a big smile on my face right now :) and PLS DONT THINK CALLING ME ADORABLE IS OFFENSIVE I LITERALLY GIGGLED READING THAT SHIT FR. <333

i like to add personal experiences and thoughts into it, just to get my point across, put it into an irl perspective and let people also relate and see what im getting at. (unfortunately) i have the same experiences as most of these characters, and so that is why they're so dear to me and why i get very defensive and passionate writing about them!

and yes! getting your answers and stuff from irl people instead of strange irrelevant responses is much more preferred lol. it's more raw and in depth and definitely a lot more personal! and thank you so much!!! it's genuinely one of my favourite dazai panels istg hes such a pretty mf

1.) i love love LOVE their dynamic, i think it's one of my favourites in the show along with skk and ranpo and yosano. it really fucking hits hard, as all family dynamics do with me fr, idk what it is about them, they just get me. and yes!!! i love when atsushi shows that he cares for dazai it MAKES ME FEEL NICE <3 and that's so real oh my god hes a tiger please PLEASE he can fucking PURR (there was a tumblr post i saw, i can try and find it but it made me actually cry laughing)

THIS ONE i was fucking howling but yes! their relationship is also one that really really gets to me! and yes, he is just the ada's support cat, it's canon, i'm ranpo's sweets

2.) thank you thank you THANK YOU mori is an actual degenerate human being. he's not made to be liked or appreciated or revered, it's just fucking AEUGH. i'm not going to demonise the people who enjoy him as a character, but seriously, it's a big red flag to overlook the canon pedophilia. i saw someone make a defense against him saying "yes, but he's never actually touched kids, so that doesn't mean anything" SORRY? they also went on to say that he "restrains himself" from having pedophilic thoughts with elise, and basically praised him for that. needless to say, it got me feeling fucking icky. and yes! i feel exactly the same. i always think that "oh, maybe i'm the awful one for not liking him? am i bad?" even though, no, i'm perfectly fine thinking that way and i am allowed to think that way. and exactly again! dazai is my favourite character, but i recognise his flaws and his mistakes and don't forgive them. but he's actively trying to "be a better person" (i say this in quotation marks because dazai sees everything he does as inevitably pointless, but still wishes to uphold oda's dying words. i am definitely going to make a post about this in the near future lol) and i dont make my analyses biased towards him, and i stay on neutral ground UNLESS personal opinion comes up, to which i then say that it's my personal opinion, not fact, and that it's anybody's choice to think however they want. if somebody doesn't like dazai; okay! i'm interested in talking with them, and we can both talk about things we're very passionate about and have healthy conversations! unlike some people i have seen on reddit, goddamn. but no, we're not the bad people for hating that knobhead fr. we should all treat and be treated the same as any other fan in the fandom and get along, and i wish we could ALL do that in non-toxic ways. 99% of this fandom are the loveliest people ever, but that 1% just needs to get a grip like omg. we should treat others how we want to be treated, regardless of who favours what ship and who likes what character. and real!!! if gender roles were reversed for dazai, this would be much more problematic, and that's upsetting! dw dw, i dont think its sexist, i think its putting things into perspective bc, either way, its shitty how he was treated. i fucking hate mori. whenever i see people defending him to like, the bone, like not getting into a decent discussion and being civil but instead bashing everyone who says otherwise and completely overlooking the abuse, manipulation, grooming, pedophilia and just him as a sick and twisted person in general, it just really irks me. as someone who has in fact had to deal with separate strands of abuse including many fucking counts of sexual abuse and pedophilia, it disgusts me seeing people overlooking it and it makes me feel fucking sick. that shit is not just something to be overlooked because of the fact that you enjoy mori as a character, he's not supposed to be a character that's consumed positively, he's a bad guy. a lot of characters in bsd are morally grey, but mori is just fucking morally black. he's downright evil.

(TW for suicide and self harm next btw :) )

3.) yes yes yessss!!! again, bringing personal stuff into it, i deal heavily with the whole topic of suicide and self harm. i've attempted twice and still deal with thoughts of it every single day, as well as self harm. so, this is one of my main reasons of dazai being my absolute favourite character, because of the representation and actual presentation of these topics. at first, we're shown them in a whimsical and whacky way, then it gets so much darker once we get into the dark era. it's a complete tonal shift, and it really sets in the gravity of the situation for him. and, as you said, he wants to have that ability to want to keep going and living, and he wants to be able to put the effort in, but he can't/ he physically cannot. as much as he would want to try, he can't. and yes, when he said that it fucking BROKE me fr. just at the chance that he's not able to keep living on anymore as a human is the one thing that keeps him alive, i fucking love asagiri's writing, it's so complex and beautiful. and its so so so real!!! youre literally right idc lmao. youve so eloquently said it im crying, youre putting all my thoughts into words <3

and yes!!! i have listened to the song, i absolutely LOVE it! and i never fail to think of dazai whenever i listen to it </3 and, i also think it's very very much like dazai, because of the multiple different versions we see of him too. chuuya hasn't exactly changed much, but he has gone through some very very complex and deep character developments, such as in fifteen and stormbringer. hes a lot more "tame" and respectful now, and a lot more mature. (except with dazai lmao) aku, we see he's changed slightly thanks to atsushi, but still no major character fucking flip arounds. all these characters we've watched slowly become better and more complex throughout the series. dazai? he just does 180s every single fucking year. hes different at 14 and 15 than he is at 18. hes different at 18 than he is at 20-22. and the different faces he puts on for each and every person, all his masks that he has. there's much variety to dazai; you never know what you'll get. there's so many different sides to him, because he doesn't know who he is. as odasaku saw him, "a lost child crying out". no matter the age, no matter the state, dazai is always going to be harbouring that broken child with him, trying to hide it and build up walls around it, because the only time he's ever shown it, he's gotten hurt or betrayed and lost some key figures in his life. trust issues much?

anyways i am sorry i am sorry i rambled too much lmao

in conclusion, YES, GIVE HIM A FUCKING HUG OH MY GOD PLEASE I JUST NEED SOMEONE TO HUG HIM PLS GOD LET ATSUSHI GIVE HIM A BIG HUG WHEN HE COMES OUT OF MEURSAULT I SWEAR-

thank you so so so SO much for your kind words!!! sweetest person EVER fr <333333

thank you my love!!! /p have a lovely day/night :) <3

[theambitiouswoman]

Hi. I have been reading your posts lately and got so much inspired. It was helping and suddenly it feels like I'm back to square 1. Also this boy I'm talking to online, he's literally a red flag with insecurities, defensive,kinda misogynist,andrew Tate's fan etc., and we had so many senseless arguments because he thinks I have opinions on everything,one time he called me dumb, useless, lame, a waste of time and that's bad so I thought he hated me. But 2 days back he was telling how he always liked me and he thinks I'm cute and he likes talking to me,like how is it possible like we have had arguments everytime we talked immediately after that he said he thinks I'm hot and he touches himself thinking about me. Like wth, like for some reason I'm attracted to him so I'm still talking to him. I don't like this. It feels like I'm going off track. And it's been distracting, his words. I don't know what to do. Feel so helpless. I have an important exam in 2 months, it's literally life and death for me. And I don't feel motivated. My brain is all scrambled it seems to me.

Hi!

I want to emphasize the importance of taking care of your well-being and mental health. It's concerning to hear that the person you've been talking to online displays some red flags such as insecurity, defensiveness, and misogynistic views. It's crucial to remember that you deserve respect, kindness, and support in your relationships. Engaging in constant arguments and being subjected to derogatory comments is neither healthy nor productive.

I would strongly encourage you to reconsider your involvement with this person. It's not healthy to continue talking to someone who disrespects you and makes you feel helpless. You are not even dating this person, and there is already conflict. Conflict which shouldn't exist considering we date people because we have some level of compatibility. I think you might be addicted to the highs and lows, the challenge of the situation as a whole. Maybe even the attention they give you. The fact that he goes back and fourth from arguing to complimenting you in a sexual manner shows that he is not a great guy. A man, especially a man who is just starting to court you should not be sexualizing you and as a woman who would be interested in a romantic scenario would not allow disrespect from a man who she barely knows.

It's important to recognize that words can have a powerful impact on our emotions and self-esteem. When someone repeatedly puts you down or makes derogatory comments, it's natural to feel hurt, confused, and even distracted. But it is also important to remember that no one good for us is going to serve as a distraction. And someone who takes your focus from your own goals and studies, is doing just that. There is no added value or benefit in this scenario for you. No one who likes you is going to put you down, criticize you or do anything to risk their chances with you.

Be kind to yourself. It's normal to feel off-track and overwhelmed at times. Remember that setbacks are part of life, but what matters is how we respond to them. Take one step at a time and trust in your own resilience to overcome challenges.

Wishing you the best of luck with your exam and a brighter, more positive future ahead!

[harrystomlinson]

holding onto heartache

It’s becoming a pattern now where i have a epiphany in a vent post on my main and follow it with a entire lyrical breakdown.

I had the horrible day and instead of a) studying for my finals b) processing my emotions and c) resting , I present to you d) a lyrical breakdown of what to me is the most important, personal and vulnerable song off the album.

I've seen a lot of theories that think this song is about Zayn, and I honestly agree? It makes sense in the second verse but I feel like this song on its own is about the gap between 1D going on hiatus and Louis trying to find his own sound and space with everything that was going on with him. The processing and reeling.

We know he's the kind of person who instinctually takes care of people, puts others before himself and has always been that way, even in the band. I think the song on a fandom standpoint is there, this interpretation will dabble along those lines but in a more general and sort of personal interpretation.

As usual, big hugs if you relate to this. Here’s holding onto heartache.

You said I'm holdin' onto heartache You said I wear it like a crown It's gonna drag me down I'm holdin' onto heartache You should be starin' at the sky The birds just passin' by, love

The moment I heard the lyrics "You said I wear it like a crown, it's gonna drag me down" I kid you not I was shook to my core. Here, he's being addressed by someone, someone he is close to and talks to and someone that understands him. They see how he's been and they're making it a point to ask him, tell him that he's holding on to his hurt, his feelings and thoughts. This person also knows at our speaker is someone who knows how they're feeling. He "wear it like a crown", so one would think he's in touch with them, they're working them out. But in reality, its only dragging them down.

This is about the people that others know is self aware, and to someone who doesn't know them that well they even come across as a very "emotionally intelligent" person. Someone who takes care of others so well probably can take care of themselves, right?

The fourth line, he isn't being addressed, but he seems to be agreeing with what is being said to him. He is holding onto his heartache, but he deflects. Even when he and his hurt is brought up, he talks about how this person should be "starin' at the sky" and watch the birds that passed by, or that they should be taking in the world around them in peace, and not bother with him, or how he is feeling.

The wind, it held us up, but We knew that all would change Creates the strangest feelin' Just slowly waitin' for the end I still have dreams about it The moments as they came The moments never shown to us Because we faded into darkness

Now this verse makes me absolutely feral because its very obviously about the band and its hiatus. Is there another way to view it? Yes absolutely, I'm gonna talk about both of them.

I would like to say to anyone who believes in the "Louis didn't know the hiatus would be happening and it was sudden and unexpected" should maybe reconsider their opinion. We know the supposed behind the scenes, all the bad parts of the drama. He is literally singing that the "wind" of the peak of the band publicly held them up, they were the biggest thing ever, but they knew it was going to end very soon. They would put on these massive shows and watch oceans of crowds sing back to them and watch their names be celebrated but also know it was going to end soon. What had made their lives and careers and all the time together was going to just...end like that, with so many things unresolved and so much hurt caused to so many people. He still thinks about what did happen, what didn't happen and what could've happen. They just faded away, like it had never happened.

To me, this is about all the people we've loved and lost. For the people who feel like the happy moments they have won't last, the joy and laughter won't last, because it never has. No matter how high the win held you, it had always changed. You're always waiting for the end because it's always been like that. You give and you give until it's gone away (yes that was on purpose, goes to show the incredible writing on this album) and no matter how much love you give it goes away. You never get the same back, and yet you still have dreams about it, it still haunts you because it's a part of your heart that you gave away.

I can still hear a silence I can still hear a clock that's tickin'

A strong and effective pre chorus which ties the song together so beautifully.

The statement is oxymoronic, with silence one can hear. But that's the thing with some silences- usually, you're silent when you do not know what to say. When there is doubt. When there is uncertainty. When there is a gap to formulate an answer. But some silences speak for themselves- there are silences because you know it. There's a silence of knowing, of inevitable, painful change that you had to come to terms with. It's a beautiful way to put together how he can still feel those feelings in him, like a ticking clock in a quiet room- its there, but you never notice it until everything else is blocked out and you have no option but to listen to it.

You said I'm holdin' onto heartache You said I wear it like a crown It's gonna drag me down I'm holdin' onto heartache You should be starin' at the sky The birds just passin' by, love Holdin' onto heartache

I can go on and on about how much I love this chorus and the sheer amount of layers in it. The change in perspectives, the dialogues placed as lyrics that tell us so much about him with so little effort.

The last repetition of the title seems almost rueful, and it's pretty cleverly placed if you ask me. I don't know a lot about song structures and how they can be changed in their building etc. But on a lyrical lever this was the perfect place to add that little repeat and the vocal delivery on it makes me want to rip my hair out and cry in a totally not normal way.

The nights, they change in seasons Become the strangest days I called you twice, but then regretted it And changed my number The questions that I'd ask you "Where did it all go wrong?" There's endless versions of the thing That keeps me driftin' back to darkness

I have two things to say: "Does it ever drive you crazy just how fast the night changes? Everything that you've ever dreamed of disappearing when you wake up" and "No matter how much you want it, some things change"

We're back with the whole "haunted by what could've been", placed in a very particular lyric. What I found eye catching was the "called you twice" instead of the usual 'I called you and regretted it'. Doing something twice isn't something you do when you're driven by impulse or out of a rave sentiment. You do it twice when you think you're affirmed in your decision. He didn't regret calling this person because he didn't mean it or because it was a rash decision, it was because he felt like he was doing something wrong. That the other person wouldn't be okay with wanting to communicate to work it through.

When you've always been taking care of people perfectly and you fuck up with one person, who makes it explicit that you made a mistake, you're scared to ever care for them again. It's like walking on eggshells because you're scared you'll do it again. You're scared to ever hurt someone because you know what it is like to be hurt and you would never cause someone that, so instead, you just let it be. Give them "space" rather than call them, talk it through and process it. You end up not giving importance to your own feelings about the situation because you're worried more about how the other person is feeling.

The last two lines might be the most vulnerable, honest and gut-wrenching lines I've ever heard. (After the defenceless bridge, of course, love you walls).

When you love and you love and you love, you hurt the same amount. If you have a ton of love to give, you will also have a ton of blues to feel. How you feel is never disproportionate: If you're allowed to love in endless versions in tremendous amounts, you'll also be feeling grief in endless versions in tremendous amounts. It's a scale that never tips in intensity.

You know the party's over When you're standin' in an empty space alone And time can always heal you If you let it make its way into your bones Nothing's ever easy To be honest, I'm not easy on myself The second that I see you The space between us just comes floodin' back

This bridge makes me want to smash a glass bottle against a wall followed by punching a fist through it, kool-aid man style.

In my original post I talked about how this song song is for the "therapist friends". This bridge is exactly where that came from.

From a fandom standpoint, I feel like this was the point where the band had started the hiatus and after the year Louis had personally where he went through a lot of things. I think it was that moment where he knew that being aware of his grief wasn't enough, he'd maybe have to work through it (shoutout to Angie's amazing post here @persephoneflouwers) and grow.

All the advice and facts you state and use to comfort those around you in need for it, sometimes you ought to listen to it yourself. It's not as easy as it sounds, you even know that. But you know it. You know for a fact that you are capable of healing. You know when it's time to stop, you know when it's time to start. You know that for someone who's constantly caring for people around you, making sure they're not hurting or are not alone in your hurt because you know how that would feel, you're not easy on yourself. Because no matter how hard you try, you always seem like you end up in the same place because you keep holding onto it.

You said I'm holdin' onto heartache You said I wear it like a crown It's gonna drag me down I'm holdin' onto heartache You should be starin' at the sky The birds just passin' by, love

The incredibly tender "love" that makes me want to shake and sob aside, I want to end this how I ended my original thing: This song is for the people who hold onto their heartache, because they don't know what they'd be without it.

For all the people out there who give and care and love endlessly, the ones who feel a lot, the ones who never feel like they can talk too much about how they're feeling without feeling like they're burdening the other person when they'd listen for someone in a heartbeat, for the people who know what's up with them but have a hard time processing it or don't know how to process it, for those who feel like they keep going back to and holding onto their heartache after everything said and done, Louis has done it again, hasn't he?

Find my other FITF analysis' here

[dujour13]

For the couple asks, #1,3, 13, and 30?

Thank you Starlightcleric!! I went and wrote essays again, sorry

1. What, specifically, was the catalyst for their physical attraction (if applicable) to the other character? In other words, what in particular had them like “Oh, they’re…hot…”

It was like Woljif hit every single button at the same time when Siavash went down the stairs to see about this thief situation. I’m surprised he didn’t short circuit and pass out. What’s this? An exciting funny exotic twinky wet rescue puppy with clever golden eyes who literally needs to be freed from his chains? And then he stood there and watched him pick locks and disarm traps with those… incredibly dexterous hands. And don’t forget Sia was on a 2-year dry spell at that point. That said, Sia needs there to be an emotional connection, and that took more time. For Woljif it was that sweet soulful voice, and then the vision to match it coming down the stairs. Someone so different from his world, kind of golden-hued and soft and warm-looking. And that smile. All the carefree joy and affection he’s been hungry for all his life, like looking in the window of a fancy pastry shop and seeing a cake you didn’t even know existed.

3. By contrast, what was the moment that first made their ~heart~ Soft for the other person? Not necessarily a conscious realization of “I love this person,” but a moment that had them like “Oh…I adore them…”

The many little signs of Woljif’s gentle, bruised heart showing through the cracks. Especially when he told him the story about being found in a basket with a royal coat-of-arms on his blanket. “Makes people look at me different.” Because Siavash’s thing is comforting the suffering. Part of that may be narcissism—he does love to be adored—but part of it is sincerely just wanting to spread joy and love in the world. It’s a nicer place to hang around in that way. His whole goal in life is to make people see that vision. He has his own version of Woljif’s little quip: “I don’t manipulate people. I just get them to reconsider what’s in their best interest.” Always with good intentions: evil is enslaving and no fun. There’s nothing he wants more than to liberate Woljif from his chains, literally and figuratively. So Woljif was going to be a project of his, whether they ended up lovers or not. That doesn’t sound good, I know, but it wasn’t out of condescension. Siavash really respects Woljif—listens to his advice, admires his competence, enjoys his company. It’s not a pity project so much as wanting him to realize his potential and be free and happy. Running away made him fall for him even more. Like, the stuff this guy is up against. The things life has taught him. I want to teach him it can be different. For Woljif, it was the first time he was forgiven. In my hc he pulled a little shenanigan with the Moon of the Abyss that could have put Siavash in hot water with the Thieflings, and he really actually felt bad about it afterwards. Or a little bit bad at least. But Sia was nice about it, without being an easy mark. He said “Clue me in next time, maybe I’ll help,” and Woljif was presented with the prospect of a partner in crime for the first time in his life.

13. What is their go-to for making a partner feel loved?

Woljif gets embarrassed by how much he adores Siavash. He knows he’s shown his cards, so he doesn’t always feel he needs to go the extra step of saying it aloud. He looks out for Siavash and he’ll go to enormous lengths to do nice things for him, but the L-word does not come easily. So the answer is he just assumes he knows, because he’d do anything for him. I think I’ve said before that Siavash is a love-language polyglot. He’s attentive and affectionate, loves making romantic gestures and gives out compliments like candy. If there’s one go-to, it’s that he listens to Woljif. He respects his opinion, loves his stories and relies on his advice. And when something’s bothering him he validates his feelings. Woljif feels heard, which is a big deal for him.

30. What completely petty topic (music taste, favorite food) do they find themselves completely at odds with their partner about?

Spending money!

[105ttt]

It's interesting to me how Vio handles his feelings about Shadow as he learns more about Shadow's troubles. He clearly sees Shadow as an enemy that must be taken down at first, but we see that as he pretends to be Shadow's ally and learns more about him, he starts to feel a bit conflicted.

(No Lin//ked Uni//verse or ship tags. Do not refer to the Links as "Colors" in the tags.)

Though Vio is scared when first approached by Shadow in the Lost Woods, he quickly learns to act how Shadow wants him to: he tells Shadow that he's right, that he does feel underappreciated by the other Links and that he would feel more appreciated by the dark side. Then he becomes more charismatic, playing up the fact that he's "evil" to trick the other Links. He also is a lot more friendly with Shadow, staying physically close to him rather than staying back from him (as he did in the Lost Woods).

This behavior from Vio is not only part of trying to seem like a real ally to the dark side, in my opinion, but also a way for him to really get Shadow to like him. I believe that by this point, Vio could tell that Shadow craves attention from others. Being very friendly with him, singing his praises about how much better he is than the other Links as a teammate, and literally fighting to the death for him are all part of an act to reach inside Shadow's heart and get him where he's most vulnerable. If Vio acts exactly as Shadow wants him to and makes him feel that they really are friends, he can get Shadow to tell him more information and provide protection from any suspicion on Vaati's part. We see Shadow confidently vouching for Vio to Vaati soon after Vio pretends to join the dark side, after all. He has fallen for Vio's trap, but this won't be made known to him until the damage becomes even worse.

We see Vio's feelings shift from only seeing Shadow as an enemy to use and defeat to something more complex after Vio "kills" Green at Death Mountain. After Vio has gotten Shadow to explain his plans for the future, spurring him on in hopes of getting him to talk more and solidifying his trust, Shadow admits to Vio that he is his first real friend/comrade. This clearly affects Vio, as the very next panel simply shows him staring at Shadow silently (where he was just smiling and joking to match Shadow's elated mood). Vio has a habit of doing this when he's lost in thought, such as previously in the same chapter, where he sits silently with a frown after a toast with Shadow, or in the Lost Woods, where he frowns at Shadow quietly when Shadow is trying to convince him to ditch the other Links. The fact that he grows quiet and contemplative as Shadow tells Vio he's never had a friend/comrade before him indicates that he is internalizing what Shadow just said and probably reconsidering what he assumed about Shadow before.

What do I mean by what he assumed about Shadow? If I had to guess, I would say that Vio assumed Shadow is a selfish, conceited jerk who only loves himself and has no regard for anyone else. Yet Shadow has basically just told him he is happy to have his first friend/comrade. The way that Shadow so easily took Vio in and the way that he had full confidence in Vio's devotion to the dark side, combined with this rare moment of vulnerability, have communicated to Vio that Shadow is really just lonely. He uses violence to fill a void in his heart, and his conceit and selfishness come from needing to feel wanted in a world where no one has ever bothered to give him a second thought. Vio is starting to realize this, and because he is a kind person with a lot of sympathy, he starts to feel conflicted.

But if Vio is kind, he is also highly devoted to what he believes is right, so he doesn't let his conflicted feelings stop him from enacting his plan to break the Dark Mirror. He was fully prepared to break it too, had Tingle not interfered. This indicates that his feelings about Shadow are not black-and-white. He realizes that Shadow is being neglected and that Shadow needs help, but he cannot allow Shadow to cause any more harm to Hyrule. Just because Shadow is suffering does not mean he gets to make others suffer, and Vio knows that he won't be able to solve Shadow's problems anytime soon. Shadow and the rest of the dark side are a very real threat, and Vio has a chance to weaken them from the inside that he won't pass up. It is interesting that he is shown having no qualms about breaking the Dark Mirror. He does not pause or seem pained in the slightest. In fact, when he is caught and about to be executed, he doesn't backtrack and try to plead with Shadow that he's mistaken. He proudly grins and pokes fun at Shadow. Clearly, he does not see Shadow as pitiful despite knowing he is hurting. And we know that Vio knows Shadow is hurting, because even after he verbally tears him apart and then literally tears him to pieces alongside the others, he takes a moment to think about Shadow, thinking his name as he looks sad. All of this while the other Links are cheerfully showering him with affection, too.

Vio coming to understand Shadow's loneliness may have been a catalyst for Vio's own growth as a person. The Links admit later that they learned valuable lessons from being split apart, and I believe that Vio witnessing Shadow's problems was part of how he learned. At the beginning of the story, Vio is a loner, seeing himself as smart enough to do things on his own and seeing the other Links as nuisances. He acts cold and tries not to form bonds. When he says that he now realizes that "warm feelings" are important, he is saying that the joy one feels from bonds with friends is now precious to him. Certainly, he may come to appreciate having good friends now because he has seen what happens when someone has no one to love or be loved by.

Interestingly, Vio gets lost in thought when he reunites with the Links at the Palace of Winds and realizes that Shadow was impersonating him. He must find it interesting that Shadow knows him well enough to convincingly imitate him despite their short time as allies, and it must be even more interesting that Shadow doesn't hate Vio so much as to refuse to impersonate him. Shadow must have taken the time to try to really learn about Vio while they were friends, and he didn't throw this knowledge out when the reality of Vio's betrayal came crashing down on him. Perhaps he wanted to believe there was a chance of salvaging their bond, or perhaps he was just so desperate for attention that he had to keep his good memories of Vio giving him that attention? Regardless, Shadow doesn't seem to hate Vio entirely, which must tug at Vio's heartstrings a bit. But he doesn't have time to think about it for too long, because Vaati is still very much a threat even if Shadow isn't.

And then Shadow breaks the Dark Mirror, and as he lies there dying, Vio is the one to reassure him that the Links are saved thanks to him. Notice that Shadow gets hung up on the fact that he's being thanked for something he did. Either he's surprised to hear his enemies thanking him, or he's never really been thanked in his life. Vio's willingness to speak to Shadow in this moment also signifies that he doesn't completely hate Shadow either. The way they feel about each other cannot be described as "love" or "hate". It's something else entirely, and they both recognize it.

Vio's explanation of Shadow's loneliness to the other Links after Shadow's death is his final act of love towards Shadow, however, and he has the same thoughtful frown, albeit softer, as he speaks. He cannot afford to stay silent this time, as that would be a disservice to his former "friend". Were they really, truly friends? Technically not, but there was potential for something, and Vio recognizes this. I'm sure Shadow did too, which is why the betrayal ate at him so much and sent him into a rage. Vio knows that Shadow had the potential to be a creature of the light instead of the dark, just as Zelda said (but notice that both they reach the same conclusion without ever talking about it together). He wants the others to know this too, both because he feels it is right to do and because, perhaps, this will help absolve some of his guilt about what he did to Shadow.

So, how does Vio feel about Shadow at the end? I would not say that he sees Shadow as an entirely good person who did nothing wrong. He definitely acknowledges that Shadow did evil things (Viz's translation changes the dialogue from the Japanese version to say that "Shadow was never really evil", and I am ignoring this because the Viz translation is not the original version). He knows that the damage caused by these evil things can never be justified, and he is not trying to excuse Shadow's actions in any way. At the same time, he understands that Shadow lashed out from loneliness, and he feels sympathy for him to some degree. Shadow is both destructive towards others and self-destructive, and his thinking and mood are influenced by his desire for attention and control of his life. I think it is good to see Shadow as tragic but not pitiful, and I think this is how Vio sees him.

This is also why I think, if Shadow and Vio had remained alive somehow after the events of the manga, they could have started a true bond of some kind - but I don't think it would ever return to the way Shadow believed it was. The new bond could be strong and help them both heal from what happened between them, but the dynamic would be completely different: no more pleasantries from Vio to feed Shadow's ego, and no more of Shadow constantly using Vio for validation. They need to learn to be real friends if they want to recover and work as teammates. I think it's possible, especially if Vio doesn't pity Shadow or treat him like a saint for what he did at the Palace of Winds - this would just upset Shadow, who doesn't want pity, or would put him on a pedestal and feed his ego again. The key to a real bond between them lies in honesty and seeing each other as real people. I think Vio learned to see Shadow as a real person rather than just another monster to kill, and this is why the tension between them is so interesting and compelling.

[areax]

for good and for bad for laika 🥰

OC ASKS: RELATIONSHIP EDITION

For Good: Is there anyone in your OC's life who had an undeniable positive impact on who they are as a person? How did knowing this person improve your OC's life?

The specific person is dependent upon the setting, but in both her source material and BG3verse it’s someone from among her companions. In her original campaign I’d say the people who had the most impact were her best friend, her son, and her love interest… her son (his name is Duke) might be the most straightforward to explain. He started out as a teenager that she saved in a kind of split second decision (it was either him or his mentor and she didn't really know either of them, I think about that moment all the time and how if she had saved his mentor instead her character arc would have been so different) who, because of this, started to look up to her and idolize her and she was like oh no I have to be responsible for this child now. That made her start to question all her past decisions because she saw a lot of herself in Duke and didn’t want him to make the same bad choices that she had, so she had to confront her own mistakes and who she had become. It was an eye opener in thinking about how she affected other people and how actually she does care about them. Eventually at the end of the campaign she formally adopted him and he is her best and only child and she loves him very much and she is very proud of him.

Her interactions with her best friend (Lunaris) and her love interest (Zatlaft) were similar in that kind of learning to care about other people way. She’s experiencing feelings for the first time since she was sixteen, you remember feelings, right? Zatlaft was the first person she’s ever been in love with beyond infatuation (and now they are MARRIEDDDD) and Lunaris is the closest friend she’s had in 20 years. That’s all very scary to her but love is beautiful!

BG3 spoilers below this point!

In BG3verse her journey is similar: she comes to know these people that she’s traveling with and through caring for them she finds herself caring for the world again and becoming less selfish. I should write up a list of all her dynamics with everyone but special mention goes to Astarion for being like “You did all that to help free me and recognized who I am with all my faults and loved me anyway and now you’re just going to stand here and let him (Cthulhu, the Emperor, etc.) control you like Cazador controlled me? You expect me to stand by and watch while that happens to you? You’re going to let a bald guy speak to you like that?” as that is the real climax / turning point for Laika’s character, the rejection of power in favor of freedom. Lae’zel is also important because she’s the one who consistently challenges Laika and forces her to reconsider her opinions at the same time as Laika does the same for her. Laika’s character growth is primarily driven by self recognition through the other tbh.

For Bad: Is there anyone who had an undeniable negative impact on your OC’s life? How did your OC deal with that change? Have they been able to move on?

I’ve written about it on here before but literally her patron lmao that’s just how it is when you’re a warlock. In general Laika is also attracted to (not necessarily in a sexual sense) / has a weakness for / is easily seduced by displays of great power, people in powerful positions whose influence she can siphon from, anyone with knowledge beyond what’s normal, but she hasn’t had too many encounters with people who take advantage of her without her knowing that and doing the same back to them. So it’s kind of like Laika is the one doing the evil things to others and not often the other way around (obviously those actions take a toll on her but they’re not the fault of her victims, it’s her problem) so honestly she’s more likely to be someone else’s “meeting you changed my life for the worst” person. But for Laika, it was Tuesday. Undeniably her patron is the person / being who has most changed her life for the worst, but unlike with people like Wyll who were given an impossible choice and gave themselves up for the greater good, it was kind of Laika’s fault in the first place that she went looking for forbidden knowledge and then got her entire village slaughtered. She knows this deep down but tries to deny it for a long time or justify their deaths by using her powers as much as possible. Once she’s finally free from her pact she’s able to kind of move on, but that’ll always hang over her. 

It’s an interesting situation to bring both to BG3verse and to her original campaign because when we pick up with Laika here, she’s already done the worst thing she will ever do and is like past the point of thinking she can ever be a good or happy person again, and so basically everything she does is like “fuck around and find out” until there’s a slow dawning revelation that she doesn’t have to be defined by her worst moment or even if she is, she can still do something good for the world after.

[dear-mrs-otome]

Silvio Ricci - Main Story - Chp 06

Standard Disclaimer: I do this for fun. I don’t, and never would, claim to be proficient at JP. There will be mistakes herein. There will be dialogue I choose to smooth out or change, because it feels choppy just straight translating. There will be the occasional snarky aside and irreverence and just plain summarizing. If you’re looking for 100% pure accuracy, without commentary or localizing, this is not for you. If you don’t mind that…then proceed, and I hope you enjoy! And please, support your local localizer (they make this stuff look easy) and Cybird by playing the games and routes when they come to English.

~~~~~~~~

If asked by someone what was the most exhausting day of her life…Emma would easily have said today.

Rio knocks and then bowls into Emma’s room calling her name and looking flustered, and she comes back to herself - having been sitting in a chair mostly in a daze. She greets him and he’s silent at the sight of her, no smile, not even returning the greeting as he usually would. It’s obvious he’s staring at what’s around her neck.

“Silvio's doing?” he says.

She says he nailed it - she’d thought about trying to lie to him, but Rio had clearly seen the truth of the collar instantly. Rio says it was obvious, it’s not her style at all and it’s so blatantly gaudy, with the gold and other details. He reaches out and touches what’s dangling from the collar, and though she can’t see her own neck she knows what he’s examining - five teardrop shaped gems, azure blue like the sea, that have been attached to it. Gems Silvio had bought for a price that had boggled her. 

“You can’t take it off?” Rio asks.

“I can’t take it off,” she confirms.

Rio’s expression immediately grows black. “Is that Prince Silvio’s order? You don’t have to obey him.”

She agrees that she had the same thought, especially since she’s supposed to be playing the contrary bad girl. “I literally can’t remove it.”

Rio looks puzzled, and moves behind her to shift her hair aside and examine it - and immediately is infuriated.

She confirms - there’s a lock on the clasp, isn’t there?

She’d discovered as much at the gathering, when she’d tried to take it off herself and been foiled, and had railed at Silvio over it. But he’d been pleased as punch with the whole thing, and reminded her this was all pointless if she didn’t wear the thing in front of that fucking dog. “If you were the sort of woman who just did what she was told, I wouldn’t have had to go to all this trouble, either.”

“Fine. I’ll just cut it off with scissors when I get home,” she had retorted. Silvio had told her to suit herself, but that it was a special material that would require special tools to cut through. 

Figuring that now when the jeweler had it off to attach the gems was her only chance to make a break for it and just run away before they could put it back on, Silvio had grabbed her about the waist before she could more than start to move. And everyone at the gathering had stared at her, making her uncomfortable. 

He’d scoffed at her for thinking he would let her escape, and Emma had made up her mind then and there to reconsider her opinion of Silvio. He was not a good person at heart, after all!

Back in the moment, she muses on how when they’d gone out drinking the other day she’d started to feel as if she was getting to know him a little better, opening up a little. But this collar has ruined all of that.

There are no circumstances that make this alright.

RIo tells her not to worry -  he’ll have a word with Silvio. But before he can leave, she grabs his jacket and tells him to wait. She can tell he’s silently seething right now.

“This is my problem,” she tells him, feeling as if it’ll be a disaster if she lets him go right now as things are.

“No, it’s my problem too,” he replies. “He put that on you to harass me, not you, didn’t he?”

She’s surprised to hear that Rio realizes that, and he goes on. “It’s fine. I’m aware that he’s a foreign prince and I’m your butler now. Let me go, mistress.”

His gaze is firm and determined, but she can tell he’s hiding something from her. She’s not surprised by how things are playing out though. 

She tries to talk Rio into letting her come along too, at least, but he cuts that idea off and flatly refuses to let her do that given how she looks right now…and she’s reminded that she’s wearing her dressing gown, having taken a bath immediately after getting back to try and calm herself down.

“And…I ran away from him already once before,” Rio concedes, confusing her. “Since you’re the one paying the price for that, I have to face him.”

The whole thing reminds her of yesterday, and the strange argument those two had had outside the castle gates, where Silvio had asked if she was the reason Rio had been running away and proclaiming his interest in owning her if so.

It feels like there’s a lot going on with Rio lately that she doesn’t understand…and she can’t escape the feeling that her friend of these past few years is slowly drifting away. That thought making her anxious. She’d planned to wait until Rio felt comfortable with telling her whatever was going on, but if he’s going through some shit she wants to help out however she can. 

“Hey Rio, you know you can always talk to me if something’s bothering you,” she reminds him. “You’re my friend before you’re my butler.”

He looks taken aback a moment, before he thanks her - on a smile that looks for just a moment as if it might dissolve into tears.

That expression lingers in her mind for quite some time afterwards.

~~~~~~~~

“You, just what do you think you’re doing?” Rio demands roughly, immediately after kicking in the door to Silvio’s room where he’d stormed over to the moment he’d left Emma’s. 

Silvio seems wholly unperturbed where he stands by the window, glass in hand. “You’re a butler but don’t know how to speak to me? Or have you given up on playing meek and mild?”

“I just felt it was stupid to be polite around you,” Rio fires back, and waves it off, saying he doesn’t give a shit if Silvio is royalty from another kingdom.

He walks over to Silvio, his expression one he’d never show his mistress, like a furious dog. And shoves his hand in Silvio’s face as he’s continuing to sip at his drink elegantly. “Give me the key to Emma’s collar.”

Silvio scoffs at the idea and refuses, telling him to just sit tight and watch as he makes that woman his. That only has Rio asking him to stop treating Emma like a thing to own.

“What are you going to do if I don’t?” Silvio counters.

Rio says he’ll do his duty as his lady’s loyal dog, glaring at Silvio all murder-eyes, as if ready to bite.

“As a faithful dog?” Silvio echoes on a grin, staring right back. He says that he figured he’d get a rise out of Rio over the whole collar thing, but this was definitely more than he expected. “Do you care for your mistress as a butler, or…are you in love with her?”

Rio only scowls at him in silence, and Silvio laughs at having his suspicions reinforced, mocking him for possibly being so far gone on a woman.

“So what if I’m in love?” Rio challenges, and Silvio’s eyes go wide with surprise at his proud declaration. Rio blushing as he goes on. “I love her, and she’s very important to me. So I’m begging you to not get involved.”

His final plea is earnest, but Silvio haughtily dismisses it with a laugh. “Given how much I can’t fucking stand you, if you’ve got something important to you I’m not about to just let it pass me by. I’ll make her fall in love with me. That woman will be mine.”

Rio glares at him furiously, and Silvio keeps pressing. “If that pisses you off, then get your memory back and do something about it. But the second you remember everything, you’ll let her go, won’t you?”

Rio flinches at that, and aloud Silvio muses that he’s got an interesting idea. Malice tinging the smile he turns on Rio when he tells him he’s got a job for him to do tomorrow - no trying to get out of it. “You want me to take that woman’s collar off, don’t you?”

“If I do what you ask, you’ll take it off?” Rio asks.

Silvio says he will, as long as Rio follows his instructions. Rio seems dubious of this, but Silvio reminds him that this is a business contract - and a merchant’s word is as good as his bond. Conceding that, Rio agrees, but warns Silvio he’d best not break his promise. 

“You either,” Silvio smirks, and as Rio steps out of the room back in Butler-mode, Silvio reaches for his glass as he watches him leave. 

But before he knows it, the drink that had quenched his dry throat was empty. “...Not nearly enough at all.”

~~~~~~~~

The next day dawns bright and clear and beautiful - but yet still ruined.

“First it was servants, now it’s knights you’re bribing. You seem to enjoy wasting money,” Emma tells Silvio, dark clouds in her heart despite the lovely day as she walks the familiar streets of the city.

She’d been observing the princes in their duties, doing her own as Belle, when a knight had approached her and told her that Sariel was summoning her - only to be abducted, as usual, when she’d followed him. She’s realizing now how much power money has…and that she really can’t trust anyone. 

“You’re twice as sassy as usual today, aren’t you?” he observes, before warning her that he can have her charged with disrespect if he wants to. 

Her saccharine reply is to say that he’s such a good-hearted and generous man, surely he wouldn’t charge her with disrespect over something as trivial as that.

“...Are you sulking?” he asks.

“Isn’t that obvious?” she retorts.

She still has the jeweled collar around her neck. It’s not physically uncomfortable to wear, but it’s deeply uncomfortable on a personal level of course. 

Rio had come back the night prior and reported to her that Silvio had said he would take the collar off today. She’d thanked him, and asked what it was Silvio had required of him to do so. He’d commented on how she was clever to pick up on that, but assured her it was only a small task - hang tight and it’d be done in a jiffy and she’d have that thing off.

She spares a moment to hope that he’s not putting himself out over this. “What exactly is the job you asked Rio to do?” she asks Silvio, trying to suss out whether he’d asked him to do something absurd.

Silvio tells her it wasn’t anything major, he was just having Rio finish up closing a deal he was making with another of the jewelers from that night at the gathering.

She recalls this, mostly because she’d been surprised to see how many conversations and exchanges Silvio had had with the other merchants, more like a businessman than official prince duties. 

She’d been too pissed off yesterday to think much about it…but why IS a prince acting like a merchant? Now that it’s occurred to her, she’s having a hard time dismissing that thought, and as she falls silent pondering it, a hand grabs her head and startles her. 

“I’m warning you, don’t bring the subject of that damned dog up when you’re with me.”

“Why is that?” she asks.

“Because I dislike it, obviously,” is his terse answer.

She agrees vaguely, but that sentiment has taken hold - and she recalls ‘Sariel’s Second Rule of Villainess-hood’ : make the other person uncomfortable. He’d said he knew how difficult that would be for Emma to do, but she was to harden her heart and push through with torturing him.

Remembering this, she decides to bring Rio up at every possible opportunity today. 

She’s pulled from those thoughts by Silvio urging her to forget all that and get going, and she asks what it is they’re up to today. 

“A date,” he grins.

“Sorry, what?” she says incredulously. “Yeah no, goodbye.”

She immediately tries to dash off and make a break for it, but he snags her about the waist just as he had the day before. “Don’t try to run away. You should be honored to be going out on a date with me.”

“Why should I have to feel honored? I don’t want to go on a date with someone I don’t like!!” she protests.

He just smirks and says he’ll take that challenge - by the time they’re done, she’ll be changing her tune. A sentiment she soundly denies will ever happen.

“I’m just the hostess, right? Why should a mere hostess go out on a date with you?” she asks, trying to change tack. But Silvio says he just feels like it, and he offers to even let her pick the place they go. 

She’s suspicious as all getup about this, of course. The first prince of Benitoite doesn’t just go out on a date on a whim - this has to be another test of some sort. But she has no idea what he’s thinking, and she can’t do anything about it as long as she’s keeping up her noblewoman false front. So…if she can’t get out of the date, she’ll make it as wretched as she can for him, so he’ll hate her. AKA pick somewhere with lots of women, just to toture him, since he dislikes them so much. 

She looks around, plotting Evil Things, and sees something fitting. “How about over there?” she asks, and he looks taken aback by just the suggestion.

~~~~~~

Gleefully, she steps into her chosen location - a cafe decorated in a plethora of girlish pinks, display cases laden with an abundance of desserts so cute and dainty they’re beyond charming. Everyone in the place is a woman - the only man here is Silvio. 

She tells him how this is a sweets shop that just opened up here in Rhodolite, one she’s been wanting to visit for quite some time now but just hasn’t had the chance to. 

He doesn’t say a word in response, and she’s crowing to herself over how much he must be loathing all this.

For a man who finds women so unpleasant, this place must be like hell on earth.

But still…he never says a word about leaving. And frankly she’s a little surprised by how docile he’s being, going along with whatever she asks.

“Do you want to have it boxed up and we can eat out in the square? Or do you want to eat here?” she asks him.

“...Whichever is fine,” he replies. 

“Then let’s eat inside!” she declares brightly. 

But her conscience still stings her, just as she knew it would. She shunts that aside for the moment and takes a seat at the table, opening her menu and remarking on how the shop seems to serve Benitoite desserts and maybe that’s why many of them are unfamiliar to her.

“What is this ‘crostata’?” she wonders.

“It’s like a tart here in Rhodolite. A stupidly sweet dessert filled with fruit jam,” Silvio replies. 

She coos over the next one. “And what about this ‘amaretti’?”

He explains that they’re a sort of meringue pastry, made with almonds so somewhat bitter.

She admits to being curious about both, and then asks what his recommendation would be.

“Ask the server rather than me,” he suggests. “Or maybe it’d be quicker to ask the shopkeeper.”

She has a moment to blink over the idea of troubling the shopkeeper for this, only to have a man in a pâtissier uniform rush over to their table immediately after. “Prince Silvio, thank you for visiting our shop today,” the pâtissier gushes. “I never thought you’d come to the store personally like this, I’m sorry I’m not better prepared to receive you!”

Silvio waves it off, telling the man he’s only here on a date with this woman. “Business at the store seems to be doing well though?”

“Yes, all thanks to you investing the funds to open it, as its owner,” the chef agrees enthusiastically. 

Owner…? Wait, Silvio is the owner of this shop!? Emma’s still reeling at that revelation as the pâtissier waxes on with enthusiastic gratitude about how he never thought he, as a humble pastry chef, would ever be able to run his own establishment. But Silvio just smiles a bit and waves it off, saying there’s nothing to feel indebted for since they’re both profiting off this endeavor. 

“Thank you,” the chef says to him. “As a small token of our appreciation, we’ll prepare our best sweets for you! I’d like for you as the owner and his companion to try them!” Promising to return shortly, the man hustles off on the spot.

Silvio says to Emma’s she’s in luck, and she should be thanking him and the shop for the courtesy - only for his grin to fade as she doesn’t reply, and he asks what she’s got the blank look on her face for. 

She’s still trying to process the fact that the prince of Benitoite is the owner of some random pastry shop in Rhodolite. “Just who are you, Prince Silvio?”

~~~~~~~~

<< Chapter 05 | Chapter 06 - His POV >>

[darkmulti]

-> 𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐚 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞, 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐦𝐨𝐝𝐞

-> 𝐈𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭, 𝐲𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐚𝐟𝐢𝐚 𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐬, 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐝.

-> 𝐒𝐮𝐠𝐚𝐫 𝐃𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐲 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

-> releasing this a bit early because we reached 4K+!! Thank you guys so much! I love you all<3

-> THIS PROFILE CONTAINS DUB-CON AND NON-CON THEMES! PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

It was a Saturday night — the busiest day of the week. You worked at the strip club, not as an exotic dancer but as a waiter. The money you were making was just enough for you to survive on your own.

Tonight, you wanted to ask your boss if you could start working as a dancer. You packed your new dancewear and everything you might need in case the boss says yes. It was around 4 pm when you arrived. You walked to your boss’s office and gently knocked on the door.

“Come in”

You grab the door handle and push the door open, revealing your boss Taehyung with a glass of whiskey in his hand.

“Hello, little one. What can I help you with?”

You thought the nickname was creepy at first, and when you politely asked him to stop calling you that, he said that he had a nickname for every employee. Over time, you’ve grown used to it. And you’d be lying if you said that it didn’t give you butterflies in your stomach.

“I know this is sudden, but can I start dancing?”

Taehyung squeezed the glass cup tightly, almost shattering it with his bare hand.

“But why? You’re just a little angel. Angels don’t sin, little one.”

“Sir, I really need money. I want to go back to school and get a degree so I can have a permanent job.”

There was a pause of silence before you spoke up again.

“I-I can show you my skills. I’ve been practicing. I even brought my dancewear.”

Taehyung shoots you a glare. It was intense and almost threatening. He sighs as he puts the glass of whiskey on his desk and walks to the couch, where he sat down with his muscular thighs spread apart.

“Go wear your little outfit and come back here.”

You innerly smile and leave to the dressing room to change. Once the door closed, Taehyung let out a chuckle. He’s never going to allow you to be a dancer, he just wants to watch you for his pleasure.

After adjusting your straps and fixing up your hair, you sprayed some perfume around your neck and walk back to his office.

“Sir, I’m ready.”

“Good, now come in and lock the door.”

You did as told then remove your robe. It didn’t take long for Taehyung’s member to harden after seeing your body on full display. Taehyung turned some music on then said “the stage is all yours, little one.”

You’ve been practicing for months, just for this moment. Bending over and whipping your hair back, showing off your beautiful body to him. Taehyung motioned you to come to him, so you can give him a lap dance.

He placed his hands on your hips and made you grind on his bulge. Your face warmed up after feeling his boner that you caused. Taehyung started moving his hips with yours, making you whimper.

His hands moved to your breast and gave it a light squeeze. “Sir, I thought touching is not allowed.”

“I’m the boss. I make the rules. Right now, touching is allowed.” You were too naive to understand that he was manipulating you.

30 minutes pass and you finally stop and take a step back.

“So... what did you think?”

You were expecting a positive response and even a praise but you got the complete opposite.

“I’m sorry, little one. You’re not good enough. I can give you a raise but I’m not letting you become a dancer.”

“But what if I practice more? Could you reconsider?!”

“No is my final answer, little one. I’m a very busy man and I don’t have time to watch you dance just for you to fail.”

Embarrassed. You felt so embarrassed. You genuinely thought Taehyung was enjoying your show. Well, it sure as hell looked like it. A gloomy look took over your face and you walked towards the door to leave.

“Don’t give me that pouty face, little one.”

Taehyung abruptly pulled you on his lap and attached his lips to yours. You didn’t respond until Taehyung’s hand spanked your butt, causing you to moan.

“Grind on me, baby. I know you want it just as much as I do.”

You rubbed your clit harder against his bulge until you released. “Keep moving, little one. Help daddy cum too.” He growled, before grabbing your face and kissing you again. Deep moans left his mouth turning you on even more. His hands all over your body — it felt euphoric.

Taehyung let out one last groan before cumming in his pants. “Fuck! You’re so fucking good.” he kissed your jawline and moved down to your neck.

“How about this, little one. You become my personal dancer and I pay you money. You can stay with me, I’ll buy you everything you need as long as you accompany me and satisfy my sexual needs.”

“Like a sugar daddy?”

“Exactly”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Rules:

No dating

No lying

No revealing clothes

If something is wrong, tell him

No swearing

Don’t be bratty

Obey him

Never reject his kisses

Don’t leave without his permission

Answer his calls and texts immediately

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

How he’s like:

Taehyung’s a charming, gentleman

He treats you like a queen

He never ignores you

You’re his first priority

This man spoils the shit out of you

He buys you luxurious clothes and accessories

For your birthday, he bought you a brand new Porsche convertible

Taehyung’s very possessive, but you honestly don’t mind

You love spending time with him anyways

Anytime another male is too close to you, he wraps his arm around your waist and pulls you closer to him

If you hug him, his hands will immediately go down to your ass and grab it

He’s very affectionate

Even at important events, Taehyung will always hug you, kiss your lips, cheeks and forehead in front of anyone

Sometimes you forget that you’re his sugar baby because he treats you like his wife

Your opinion matters to him

Whether it’s a big or small decision, he always wants to hear what you think

In the morning, he makes you breakfast

Especially if you had a long night with him (if ykyk)

When he’s doing work, he makes you sit on his lap and do some cock warming

Taehyung loves travelling with you

He’d rent out expensive villas or hotel room

Taehyung loves swimming with you

The man enjoys your company

You’re so lovable, sweet and innocent

It was almost like you were made for him

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Yandere Taehyung:

Taehyung was secretly obsessed with you

After he hired you as a waiter, he wanted to know everything about you

Since the job application required your address, Taehyung knew where you lived

He broke into your apartment and hid tiny cameras in places you’d never see

There were cameras in your kitchen, living room, bedroom and bathroom

He did this to keep an eye on you and make sure that you’re not seeing another man

When you’re at work, Taehyung stops by your apartment and takes some of your underwear to get off

He hacked into all your social media accounts, unfollowed guys he didn’t like and checked your dm’s regularly to make sure nobody was trying to get with you

If you made plans with your friends, Taehyung would show up (in disguise) and watch you from afar

Whenever you had plans or even a date, Taehyung would call you and say that more waiters are needed and he will pay extra because it’s an emergency

So you end up cancelling on your friends/date which angers them

Soon, your friends stopped inviting you to hang out because you always cancel last minute because of work

Taehyung’s plan was too isolated you from your friends which gives him the perfect opportunity to swoop in and be your one and only companion

And what do you know, his plan worked

Not only that but since you have no friends anymore, you’re always with him

So he never has to worry about you fooling around behind his back

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Sex Life:

Taehyung was incredible in bed

He never failed to satisfy your sexual needs

You’ve both tried so many kinky things in bed and it was honestly fun

He was addicted to eating you out

Hickeys all over your body. Between your thighs, on your stomach and chest. All over your neck, collar bone and jawline.

Taehyung loves marking what’s his

Traditional rough sex + doggy

But hey, it gets the job done

Three round minimum, 7 rounds maximum

Taehyung will always cum inside of you

He loves watching himself cum into your little hole

He gets more turned on when watches cum his leaking out of your hole and running down your thigh

Dry humping is something he’s into

The idea of both of your coming without having actual sex drives him crazy

Blowjobs for days

He loves watching you suck him off

Make eye contact with him while you suck and he’ll have an orgasm

You must swallow all of his cum

Don’t spit it out

Before Taehyung got you, he used to use your underwear to masturbate

You eventually started to notice that a bunch of your panties disappeared

Therefore, Taehyung returned most of them (except for his favourites), some washed, some not

Taehyung could literally cum to the thought of you wearing panties covered in his dried-up cum

It made him hard just thinking about it

Over time, you notice Taehyung becoming more aggressive in bed

It would get so bad that you’d have to use the safe word to get him to stop

You noticed he started doing things he’s never discussed with you before

Sometimes, you cry under him because he scares you

He’d pin your hands above your head and fuck as hard as he could

You were not used to it nor were you a big fan of it

He was taking everything out on you

Taehyung would start at 21:30 and finish at 04:00

Unknowingly, Taehyung’s yandere side took over him

Some may know him as V

His cruel and sadistic side who felt no remorse whatsoever

V’s kinks are dark and heavy

He choked you until you couldn’t breathe, tied you up so you couldn’t move, and slapped you when you asked him to stop

V enjoyed watching you cry too

Overstimulation was the worst part

Your core was crying for a break but V couldn’t care less

The man fucked you until you passed out

Minimum 7 rounds, maximum... there’s no maximum

In the morning, he’d still be deep in you and depending on his mood, he may or may not fuck you again

At this point, you didn’t care if it was Taehyung or V, you needed to leave him

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Trying to break off the (3 years) contract:

This is when Taehyung goes fucking insane.

After nights of relentless sex, you finally decide to break the contract. You couldn’t handle the abuse anymore. Sex every night to “remind you of your place” was complete bullshit. You stayed with him for two more months, hoping that the old, sweet Taehyung would come back and save you.

Unfortunately, he never did. After you lost all hope, you wanted to get away from Taehyung as soon as possible. He can keep all the gifts and money he’s given you if that means freedom.

You woke up only to see Taehyung missing from the bed. He must’ve gone to work, you thought. You get ready and pack all of the clothes you brought to his mansion. You write a small message on a notepad, saying that it’s over. You didn’t dare to tell him face to face because you knew exactly where it would’ve lead to.

You left his mansion and took the bus back to your apartment. An hour later, Taehyung was blowing up your phone, spamming you with messages.

“Where the fuck are you?!”

“Answer my calls!”

“Explain the message on the notepad!”

“What do you mean that we’re “done” ?”

“The contract’s not over yet! I still fucking own you.”

“Get your ass over here!”

“You’re making your punishment worse for yourself.”

“How can you say goodbye to me like this?! Do I mean nothing to you?!”

“You’re going to regret this!”

“Come back here, now!”

“Stay where you are, I’m on my way!”

You started to tear up because you were petrified. You drop your phone in fear and ran into your closet. You hid in a basket full of your clothes so no one could see you. Not even a minute passed and Taehyung was banging on your apartment door.

“OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR, Y/N.”

You covered your mouth, stopping the sobs from coming out. You needed to find a weapon. You looked around your closet and that’s when you spotted something.

A camera.

A tiny camera is hidden in plain sight. Your heart dropped to your stomach. How long has that been there? Who placed it there? Your mind immediately went to Taehyung. You were trying to connect the dots but how could he have possibly gotten into your apartment?

You stopped questioning when you heard Taehyung break down the door. He came right to your bedroom and opened the closet door. He pulled out the basket you were hiding. “Get up.”

That’s when you knew the camera belonged to him. He knew your exact location. You couldn’t help but wonder how long he’s been watching you.

You take a deep breath in and stand up. Taehyung’s fierce eyes encountered your terrified ones. He grabbed your jaw and pulled your face close to his.

“What the fuck were you thinking?! You nearly gave me a heart attack! I thought one of my enemies kidnapped you but no! You just left me with a shitty ass note.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Sorry?!” Taehyung pinched the bridge of his nose. “SORRY?! THAT’S ALL YOU FUCKING GOT?!”

He picked up your glass jewelry box and threw it on the floor. The whole thing shattered, causing you to burst out in tears. “T- Taehyung! Stop! Stop it! You’re scaring me!”

“Good bitch. Seems like I haven’t scared you enough because you still have the nerve to fucking leave me.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Omg, I finally wrote something after months of being an unproductive piece of shit.

This is bad, but I still hope you enjoyed 😊

Oh and I apologize for any mistakes. Like always, I’m half asleep:)

xoxo,

naina❣️

[pyroclastic727]

Is Amity autistic?

In the Owl House fandom, we hear a lot about how Luz is written to be ADHD. Now I would like to present the flipside: Amity is coded as autistic.

Here’s the breakdown.

Amity is touch-averse. “BuT aMiTy ToUcHeS LuZ aLL tHe TiMe” nice try. The key to autistic touch-aversion is only being okay with touch when she initiates it. And that totally matches up with Amity. See, Amity is really happy when she initiates touch with Luz. She’s also cool with it when Luz holds her hand after standing near her for enough time that Amity can predict an incoming touch. That’s because Amity consents to that touch and expects it.

But when other people touch her? She doesn’t take kindly to that. When Luz initially bumped into her at Covention, she snapped at her and degraded her. Even when she bumped into Luz in Enchanting Grom Fright, her initial instinct was to snap at Luz, since she didn’t expect to be touched. When Hooty touched Amity’s face without consent, she flipped out and beat him up. Not even Lilith beat Hooty up when he wrapped her up in his mucus-filled tube, but Amity gave Hooty the injuries we all wanted to see him with, because he breached her boundaries without her consent. Even as late as the last episode, Amity fell over when her face got close to Luz’s on the bleachers, because she didn’t expect it.

Amity stims. Okay, this one took me a while to catch, since most of the time, Amity is very controlled with her actions. This symptom isn’t very intense; her senses aren’t understimulated too often, and she really only does it when she’s really excited.

Mainly, when Luz offered to carry her. While she adorably scrambled for words, she also flapped her hands against her legs. At first I thought it was just a cute thing she did, but there’s more to it. She was so excited to be held by Luz that it showed up in her hands flapping...a common stim. With Amity feeling more comfortable around her new friends than the old ones, I wouldn’t be surprised to see more stimming in the future.

Amity always has The Mask as her expression. You know, the one with her eyes half-lidded, eyebrows raised, mouth slightly downturned. I also call it the Resting Blight Face, for...reasons.

At first I thought it was just a way to hide her true emotions, since her parents are assholes. But even though Luz makes her feel accepted, she keeps doing it. It’s more like...you know that feeling when you’re thinking really hard, or uncomfortable, or ashamed, or even just relaxed, and you can’t think of which expression to wear quickly enough, so you put on an unreadable one to tide people over? Apparently most people don’t do that, since allistic people tend to have expressions for those feelings, ones that arise naturally.

Another symptom of autism is having hard-to-read expressions, or being less expressive. In Amity’s case, it’s the fact that she doesn’t see a need to have an expression in calmer moments, so she just uses her usual expression.   

Amity hyperfixates. This has several facets, so I’ll break this down.

She initially hyperfixated on school. And that’s how she became top student. Amity Blight is who you would mistake for a “gifted student.” But make no mistake...she is not gifted, and gifted is a bullshit label used to overexert people and force them to keep school as their special interest for their entire lives (and I may have a bit of a vendetta against it). Anyways, we already know she’s a perfectionist. My theory is that Amity originally was hyperfocused on school--the Abominations track, to be exact--and that’s part of how she got so good. Then, her focus shifted, but the school expected her to keep being top student. Cue the perfectionism; she was no longer able to focus on school like she wanted to, but everyone expected her to, so she got insecure about it.

She hyperfixates on Azura, just like Luz did. Yeah, she keeps it secret from the world, for most of the time. But she definitely likes Azura a lot. I mean, she started to reconsider her opinion on Luz when Luz offered her an Azura book. She destroyed her jock career because she tried to use an Azura move in real-life Grudgby. Her interest in Azura is long-lived, starting about the time that her interest in school would have expired (which would explain why she stayed closeted). And we can’t ignore the fact that she sees Azura in Luz and is definitely enjoying the parallels between herself and her fictional counterpart. (Which might not be a coincidence, but that’s an entirely different theory).

She hyperfixates on Luz. Yes, part of this is a crush. But a lot of us have watched Amity’s personality go from alpha bitch to cutest little bean in the Boiling Isles, all thanks to Luz’s influence. Lumity is not a rivals-to-lovers speedrun due to bad writing, it’s due to Amity hyperfixating. She’s already extremely introspective, going so far as to keep a diary where she analyzes and makes sense of herself. It’s not a stretch to say that she identified the faults that kept her from Luz and worked hard to change those off-screen. 

Amity keeps a journal. To me, this seems like masking. You see, Amity is what people would consider to be high-functioning, since she can pass for allistic. But in order to do this, she has to put in significant effort on her part. See, when she does something that makes it so she doesn’t pass, she just sees it as a problem (since she probably doesn’t know about autism, and she passes well enough that she would totally be undiagnosed). Then she tries to fix the problem, in order to keep being perfect. 

Amity has awkward body language. Thanks to the journal and other ways of masking, you don’t see this early on. But once she feels comfortable enough around Luz to let her guard down...she completely forgets boundaries. To review: in episodes 15-17, she throws herself at Luz, holds her formal rival’s hand for 24.71 seconds, blushes every time she sees Luz, and loudly declares her thirsty thoughts about Luz in uniform before literally running away. While some of this can be seen as normal gal pal things or crush things...you’d think a repressed wlw like Amity would try very hard not to touch Luz, so as to avoid being outed. Or at least she would do less of that stuff, so as to respect Luz’s boundaries the way she wants her boundaries to be respected. But that’s not the case, since she straight-up misses a lot of social cues. And since she feels comfortable around Luz, she doesn’t feel the pressure to be so paranoid about the cues, and can be her awkward self. From her point of view, she probably sees it as being freed from her parents’ judgment.

Amity takes things literally, sometimes. Now, this doesn’t happen all the time, since she isn’t heavily affected by this autistic trait. But when Luz says “I’m picking up what you’re putting down” and Amity says “I’m not putting down anything” and looks down...she not only missed the conclusion Luz drew from her words, but also assumed a literal meaning from her words. I can’t come up with many other instances of this, mostly because this doesn’t happen often. I would assume that Amity missed these a lot early on, and learned how to mask/identify them.

Amity is easily upset when things don’t go as planned. Let’s review these. In the library, she gets really mad at Luz when they end up stitched to a book, and it takes Luz’s sweet personality to get Amity to loosen up and laugh over it. When she goes to practice magic, and Luz steals her wand and uses it to get her siblings kidnapped, Amity locks Luz in a cage and assumes that she will get badly injured if she tries to fix the problems she caused. When Luz comes to her school, she panics and focus on how that doesn’t change anything. When she burns Willow’s mind, she appears absolutely terrified of being punished, flinching and bracing for impact when Luz finds her near the memories, constantly trying to distract Luz as they work together to save Willow, and hiding behind Luz when she confronts the Inner Willow. When Luz asks her to join her in Grudgby, Amity doesn’t initially agree, instead taking much more of the episode to come to terms with her involvement in it.

Amity likes predictability. She’s not attached to routines, but she does like being able to expect things. If she makes a plan for the day, she expects that day to adhere to that plan, and she doesn’t respond well when it changes. When Luz comes to her school, she focus on how that doesn’t change anything...not how that would ruin things or complicate things. Whenever she gets involved in Luz’s shenanigans, she either gets angry, scared, or takes a while to accept it. In a broader sense, she takes a while to accept that Luz and her shenanigans are a permanent fixture in her life--sixteen episodes, to be exact.

Finally, it would make for some excellent representation. An ADHD Dominican-American bisexual protagonist is pretty groundbreaking. But an ADHD Dominican-American bisexual protagonist girl who dates an autistic wlw witch girl from another dimension is exactly the kind of intersectional representation you’d expect to see from an unrestricted Owl House crew.

...Now, this might just be me hardcore projecting. I’m a little scared to post this because I don’t know how much of this is me reading into imaginary things, or trying to convince myself that Amity is like me. Feel free to debate/disprove me or support me in the comments. 

[azucanela]

being zuko’s s/o would include hcs?

BEING ZUKO’S S/O [GENDER NEUTRAL!READER]

BEING KORRA’S S/O | BEING SOKKA’S S/O

SUMMARY: being zuko’s s/o from the confession to the weddin’ [say this but make it rhyme the way those singers do ya know]

WORD COUNT: 2.5k

WARNINGS: kissing, very mildly implied nsfw, soft zuko, a dragon

A/N: these are gonna be extensive bc there is no scenario but if you want whole fics there are like 6342 zuko fics coming since everyone is a zuko simp. also wow this is really long um i hope its what you wanted!

GETTING INTO THE RELATIONSHIP

you guys have probably known each other a long time, because homebody does not fall for just anyone, so if you become the object of his affections, you better feel HONORED. hehe honored 

i feel like it takes him a lot of time to actually accept his feelings for you are beyond platonic. the main reason he falls for you is probably your consistency in his life since thats something he tends to lack. like his mom? gone. his dad? kicked him out of the only place he ever knew. his life is filled with major changes so if you guys have known each other since childhood then consistency is key

once he realizes he likes you he kinda panics because what if you don’t accept him? what if you leave? even worse, what if you leave because he likes you? so now he’s panicking, and naturally, as one does, Zuko avoids his problems. You, being the problem. And his emotions, but he is in denial so

definitely talks to his uncle about the two of you A LOT, especially when he is first figuring out his feelings and trying to figure out what to do about them

his uncle is an elite wingman, constantly tries to get the two of you to be alone in the same space or get information out of you in regards to you

when it comes to confessing i can see a few situations

situation one is that zuko confesses completely by accident, freaks out, disappears, avoids you even more, like homie is a mess. after you get fatally injured, or maybe when he thinks you are asleep, or he just kinda blurts it out in conversation when you guys are doing something domestic. regardless, it is entirely by accident, and now zuko is freaking the heck out. 

“i really like this tea.”

“i really like you.”

“excuse me-”

“i goTTA GO FEED MY DRAGOn Y/N!”

“you don’t have a dragon!”

so that’s how zuko gets his dragon from LOK, storytime over

you kinda have to find him and get a word in before he runs off because he is really scared of rejection, he doesn’t want you to leave and assumes that if the situation is never addressed then you can’t leave woohoo problem solved. 

his uncle yells at him lol

when you corner him you gotta confess super fast and handle his anxieties because he is super worried about you hating him now even though it is the opposite. 

“please don’t leave me.”

“i’m not gonna leave my boyfriend.”

“your- your what?”

“we are dating now. i like you, you like me, so we are dating.”

situation two is equally chaotic, but far less dancing around the feelings since you confess! congrats! you have more balls than me! im so proud! good job bb!

when you confess, its probably late at night, a comfortable silence between the two of you, or maybe he’s ranting about something, like how dumb the concept of tea is idk. regardless this is DOMESTIC, so it’s soft and cute and you are just like you know what screw it this nerd is so easily flustered by me maybe he likes me back! look at us cuddling like a couple! might as well make it official!

zuko.exe error, not working

you broke him good job. 

he externally panics and internally congratulates himself while panicking. he is very shocked you feel that way for him because he is an oblivious boy. 

“honestly, i don’t understand why my uncle likes those flavored water leaves so much-”

“i don’t understand why i’m in love with you.”

“WHAT.”

if y’all were cuddling on a bed or smth he THROWS YOU OFF BY ACCIDENT SKJDHJFHKHWJKF oopsie, he just gets up so quickly that you kinda go tumbling.

homie literally asks you why so naturally you gotta start listing all of these reasons why because hes like perfect and beautiful and yeah we all love him a lot :D marry me zuko <3

you gotta give him a hot minute to process all the information you just gave him, he is in shock for a short while, kinda just sitting there confused. once it gets through his thick skull that you like him he’s gonna thank you 💀

then he’ll ask you how you wanna handle this and boom you have a boyfriend now good job! 

DURING THE RELATIONSHIP

dating during a war is hard so when y’all first start dating, probably towards the end of the war when he finally joins the Gaang, its gonna be really chaotic and you guys are still gonna be sorting through everything, like what kinda couple do you wanna be? neither of you know

kisses are rare during this time, especially since zuko is a generally private person who doesn’t really do PDA much, especially since he wants to avoid teasing and judgement from others. he’s a real people pleaser at the end of the day, he literally spent three years of his life looking for someone the world thought just disappeared permanently because he wanted his dad’s validation.

when you two do kiss, it tends to be a night in your shared tent, even then Zuko is weary of Toph’s seismic senses.

his kisses tend to be soft and sensual, he really just wants to take his time and enjoy it. however, bb does have a temper so you can expect some spice on occasion when he gets frustrated.

this comes later on in the relationship, once the war is resolved, but that just brings about new problems! like having to deal with the new fire lord who is always busy as your boyfriend!

especially at the beginning, when he’s newly crowned and everything is busy and new and he’s struggling with being organized, he rarely has time for you. however, you are likely his right hand, main advisor, general, whatever your area of expertise is he will find you a position in the castle, unless you tell him you want to stay out of politics. though, deep down, he wants to give you a position so he can spend time with you

once things calm down and he’s got being fire lord in the bag, he starts blocking in time during his day to actually take you out on dates and stuff

at one point just disappears for the whole day with you and everyone thinks he’s been kidnapped until they realize you aren’t around either

that’s not very responsible of you guys smh you have a nation to run 

is soft with you, though zuko’s temper definitely lessened when he became Fire Lord, but it no doubt shows itself sometimes, but never with you

well need your assurance sometimes because he gets insecure

like why is the beautiful amazing intelligent woman dating me i do not understand what the heck why have you not left me yet

knock some sense into him

also gets worried that he is a horrible ruler and wants you to tell him that he in fact does his job very well

did you forget you helped end a war zuko?

kiss. his. scar. give him love, its one of few physical parts of himself that he is insecure about and if you kiss him there he might start crying because wow intimacy didn’t know what that was

speaking of intimacy, he is a touch starved boy so when you start giving him love do not stop, never deprive him of cuddles he gets grumpy

lol play volleyball with him

very domestic??? like his parents highkey did not like eachother so now he just wants to hold your hand, lay with you in the morning, wake up to your pretty face, and just cuddle with you while you read aloud 

overall you two are a power couple and zuko simps for you 25/8 you rule as a team and he values you and your opinion VERY much, tries to take you out as often as he can despite his VERY demanding job, and expresses his love to the best of his ability

MARRIAGE N STUFF

zuko took the throne YOUNG he was like 16, so he is not proposing until y’all are at least adults, but i imagine that he is probably gonna wanna date you for like at least three years before proposing

he wants to make sure you are there to stay even if you’ve been around since childhood

there are two ways he is gonna propose here

situation one is where he kinda just does it,,, randomly? like out of nowhere he realizes that w o w he wants to marry you, he wants to spend the rest of his life with you and dedicate everything to you because you are HIS forever person

so he’s kinda just laying with you in the morning, nice soft kisses here and there, will not let you leave the bed and you are definitely complaining, especially if you have a position in the palace and need to get to work

regardless its a soft moment, there’s light filtering in through the window in your shared room, and its shining on your face, and yeah you are lowkey a mess because its the morning but you are just,, so,, beautiful??

and you start telling him about your plans for the, playing with his hair and stuff, and he’s listening to his heartbeat when he breaks from your hold and looks up at you and is just like

“marry me.”

“we also need to feed your dragon- wait what”

you are kinda just in shock for a moment, so you sit up and look at him, mouth gaping open like

“are you serious?”

he suddenly realizes he doesn’t have a ring and it is 7AM in the morning and it is not the best time for this

“...yes”

now you are laughing, falling back onto the pillows, and maybe there’s a tear in your eye as you nod rapidly, “okay, yes.”

now you are thinking of the fake story you are gonna tell people when they asked how he proposed because you are NOT saying it was in bed at 7AM while you were looking like a whole mess

“yes? yes as in yes you will marry me? are you serious?” 

such an idiot, but he’s cute its okay

you kiss him and its passionate and adorable, and he kisses back but he quickly breaks apart and is like “you’re sure? because i don’t have a ring-”

“how have you successfully run a country.”

“good thing you are gonna join me on the throne i suppose.”

“oh my god you’re right-”

“you aren’t reconsidering are you?”

“NO.”

have fun being the fire god woo

now y’all go back to making out and traumatize whatever advisor comes to check on you because they’re like where are the people who rule this country??? 

situation two is where he has been carrying around the ring for MONTHS but is looking for the perfect time to propose because you are perfect so this must be perfect

he couldn’t sleep and in the middle of the night he was like WELP I WANNA GET ENGAGED and kinda just decided he was gonna marry you

since you were asleep he couldn’t ask you right then and these

confides in the gaang and everyone is super excited

now he’s been walking around with this ring for months and what is he supposed to do now oh god

the gaang is like stop procrastinating bro, just ASK HER, and hes like NO IT NEEDS TO BE PERFECT

they help him set up the palace courtyard and make it all nice, there are lanterns, and candles, and a path of rose petals, and this time around he does have a ring so yes its great

he’s like hey let’s go for a walk! and you’re like okay??? lol

so you two are walking around the palace, holding hands, when he leads you to the courtyard and you are just like DAMN this is romantic AND pretty

“i think we are interrupting Zuko let’s leave”

“what do you mean interrupting-”

“well someone clearly put in a lot of effort!”

“that someone is me!”

:O

its not that he isn’t romantic its just that he’s never done something like this so now you’re confused

“did i forget our anniversary?”

“no.”

NOW you understand, looking around, you turn back to him to find that he’s on one knee, you two are in front of the pond with the turtleducks and wow it must be raining why is there water on your face? haha...

he tells you he loves you and that he wants to spend the rest of his life with you, and how he hopes he never loses you because you are just so vital to his life and his being and everything he’s done to make this world a better place has been for you and damn zuko you wonder if he got possessed

obviously you agree

and obviously something goes wrong

when he stands you tackle him with a hug and you two fall into the pond

oops 

the wedding[disclaimer: i have never been to a wedding so i do not know what happens in weddings, feel free to educate me pls] is either REALLY intimate and private, or really big and stuff, since you gotta go through that whole coronation process now and like public weddings n stuff

no matter what his uncle is the one who walks you down the aisle.

change my mind.

you cant. 

the intimate one is almost similar to eloping, probably happens in the court yard where he proposed, and you are wearing a AMAZING outfit, whether its a tux, an amazing dress, a jumpsuit, you gonna look FIRE

hehe fire

anyways it’ll probably be the people who fought with him in the war, the gaang, the white lotus, kyoshi warriors, maybe a few others, 

its a really nice ceremony, and the courtyard is decorated so beautifully, though Zuko considered putting a fence around the pond considering what happened when he proposed lol

if its a more public wedding, then its going to feel like the entire Fire Nation came to watch y’all get married, much more flashy, there’s a band performance, a banquet, y’all gotta use the ballroom so that everyone can dance 

kinda nerve wracking ngl

regardless, after you two get married nothing really changes because you always acted like an old married couple, and even as the other ruler of the fire nation, you always had an important job in the palace so its kinda just the same but more official

its a vibe

moral of the story is zuko is a simp for you and your marriage is mutual simping, that is all

A/N: i kinda went off ngl, also im about to hit 200 followers and i feel as though i should do something special so i am taking suggestions pls

taglists[lmk if you wanna be added or removed :D]

zuko: @shawni-h @lil-lex1 @boxofteenageideas @izzieserra @eridanuswave @bigbuckyenergy @outerxorbit

permanent: @chewymoustachio

[pigeonsatdawn]

law school ep 15 (and solhwi overall)

gonna put in my two cents for the line that singlehandedly caused the solhwi nation to implode.

(apologies in advanced because my thoughts are too messy for me to neatly put it in a post but i want to say it anyway—also this is just the way i view solhwi so please don't come screaming at me if you disagree!)

i'm a diehard solhwi shipper and i love their relationship, and think they have one of the best relationships out there in the fictional world, and also definitely one of the healthiest. but to me, their relationship extends far beyond the romantic relationships we so often see portrayed in media.

kim beom said in one interview that this relationship between HJH and KS is kin to that of a soulmate relationship that's not necessarily romance, and i find myself agreeing with that notion. while soulmates are typically used to describe romantic partnerships, it doesn't necessarily have to start with romance. (many people have pointed this out in other posts so i won't go further down the fact that HJH x KS's relationship is a friends-to-lovers slow burn but you get me.)

but in fact, this bond between soulmates (or at least how i define it), in my opinion, is far beyond what we usually see in romance. as in, it's not just someone you like, but it's someone whose changed your life in a certain way. i know some may be averse to the idea of having to change for the one you love because loving is the notion of accepting someone in spite of the person's flaws, but what i mean is that when you love someone in this way, you want to change because of them. you see them, and they inspire you, and you grow in your own way. once again—growth is a very subjective idea, and even for HJH and KS we can see them grow in different directions—but we can clearly see how they have impacted each others' lives.

it's quite obvious, imo, how KS's life has been impacted by HJH's. she's,, not the "smartest" out there, and we can't deny that. we know she probably won't make it through law school if not for HJH's help. HJH is always there, a step ahead of KS, but he's not just being proud about it, instead opting to help her understand what the laws are and why they are the way they are, which KS especially needs, being a particularly empathic person. but we've also seen that HJH has helped KS beyond simply academics. he's always been there to protect her—almost all their interactions have proven that (the camera outside her house, the hungover soup, the switching seats—i think literally everything?..?..?.??). maybe she doesn't necessarily need protection, but surely thanks to his protection she's much better than she might've been without, especially knowing her terribly miserable life.

but i often wonder why HJH is so heart-eyes of KS of all people. i mean, i know love is love and sometimes you just catch feelings, but i believe there's more meaning behind their relationship than meets the eye. like you don't just look at someone so lovingly for it to be just a crush, y'know? the first reason that comes to mind is clearly simply KS's amicable personality. she definitely stands out: she's not that intelligent, struggling and barely surviving, but she has insane passion to pull through even despite truth attacks (like SJH saying she should reconsider her life decisions, saying that a chance of passing isn't something to be proud of, etc). she treats everything with such a positive outlook, and, well, KS is just an adorable human, so it's hard not to have a little crush her.

what makes KS stand out most, the core of her personality, is that she has hope, despite everything. she's been through shit because of her circumstances—left by her twin sister without a word, been in juvie, has no money to deal with it—you know, entire backstory. but instead she fights her weakness, even though she feel like it should've been her sister, even though she's not smart enough, because she has to do this. she keeps going, even though things keep turning out for the worse for her, holding hope when circumstances are most dire. but why? because she strives for justice. she doesn't want to be wronged. she wants the law to own up its mistakes, wants to make sure the law gets its own revenge. that's why she wants to work in law, yeah? and so she keeps fighting, even when hope seems lost.

okay but why did i mention this? because i think this is what HJH sees in KS. why? because this is what he needs.

HJH had lost hope. in an episode (i don't remember which), he mentioned he doesn't trust anyone, and it's obvious why: his uncle. it's the worst kind of betrayal that causes your ideals being burned down. he realized that even people who work in law can be corrupt, people who he thought he could trust above all others, people who seemed utterly good. and then he just begins to regard everyone with baseline amity, and no further. many have pointed out he doesn't have real friends (other than KS), even though he looks outgoing and friendly. it's not quite shown, but it must've been lonely. and a lonely fight, trying to prove that he will be a better prosecutor than his uncle was. and we know that HJH's nature as a person is to be calculating, objective, seeing things through facts and statistics; it's what makes him so intelligent. what that also makes him is realistic, and more often than not, that is almost equal to pessimistic—because reality just... sucks, as has been proven by the betrayal of his uncle. and further into the drama we see only more corrupt people in the business, so we certainly don't get out hopes fueled.

there's scarcely anyone in what we see who's actually pursuing law because they're passionate about the law, or if they are, they're not often very... human in doing it. examples: YJH, SJH, KSB are all very cold and indifferent types, people who really just come and do what they do, focus on studies (in the case of YJH, his teaching), and interactions with others are treated as "lesser". SJH and KSB in particular—they're good at the law, sure, but they seem to prioritize their position in law first and foremost. SJH and KSB don't hesitate to call out their losses, and even would rather not intervene for justice if it meant their position would be compromised. not that they're bad characters, not at all; i mentioned them simply to compare them to KS, who, despite not having the brains to do half the things she's supposed to do and earning herself nosebleeds everytime she tries, still does what she does for justice, passionately, hopefully, all for righteousness.

okay this was longer than i intended WHEW so i'll cut to the chase: long story short, HJH needs KS because KS gives him hope. hope of a humanity where people actually work in law and choose to fight for justice against all odds, even if the system itself is infiltrated by filth and corruption. KS is someone who, in her first lecture, was grilled the fuck out by Yangcrates, yet the first thing she does after she nearly throws her guts out is ask HJH whether he can tutor her. she does not ever lose hope, and that, truly, is what stands out to HJH, what he needs.

and KS needs HJH because he is her hope as well! hope by itself does no good if you can't actually do something about it, and KS knows this. HJH, despite seemingly just being someone to help her in her studies, is someone she needs if she wants to achieve her goals, if she wants to get back on the law the right way. which is why, in the end, KS and HJH are, while independent in their own way, dependent on each other in terms of their growth—KS gives HJH hope in humanity, HJH helps KS realize (make real) her hopes that would have been dreams if not for her.

oh my god i've rambled on this long without stating my point: THE DAMN LINE.

HJH saying he owes her makes sense in this light because, indeed, KS's positive outlook in everything keeps him going. it gives him a reason to keep wanting to work in law, because she is a reason to believe in goodness and justice, that there will be people who keep fighting for justice against all odds. he owes this to her—and perhaps that is why he goes all out to help her achieve that hope, perhaps that's why he goes out of his way to care for her. because they are each other's missing puzzle piece, the other half. soulmates.

sigh ok this was long ONE FINAL POINT. everyone has their own opinion on a solwhi ending, so i might as well chip in mine.

certainly, as a solhwi shipper, i want them to end up together. i believe they're really the best of soulmates, two people who just complement each other so well. but in the current timeline, them having a romantic relationship out of the blue would be,,, simply unnecessary, imo. they're still very much in the stage of friendship, and are both dealing with their own personal baggage, that shoving a romance would just take away the focus from their growth. i personally think even this platonic relationship is already a beautiful one, one that outshines many of the romances i've watched, even without having to flood everything under the romance light—which i think many can agree with me, seeing as how solhwi is shipped so much. i still want to see them end up together, though, so SEASON TWO LAW SCHOOL MANIFESTATION. please please please directors writers make it happen i am begging you. thank you.

sorry for this long ass post, thank you if you do read it and leave any thoughts! again this is just my opinion, you're free to let me know if you think differently or anything, or shoot me a message if you want to scream about solhwi or whatever i'm just solhwi brainrot 24/7 🤸🏻‍♀️