#it's not easy

[reality-detective]

No one escapes this 👆

What are you waiting for? 🤔

[thoughtfulchaos773]

Syd and Carmy communication 2

You know how I wrote endlessly about the table scene. Well, its the same thing with this scene in 3x09.

I recall some critiques about the table scene. It was that we couldn't see Carmy and Sydney's faces clearly. However, the camera work was meticulous, with a very smooth close-up shot as we got closer to Sydney and Camy without realizing it. Perfection!

But for this scene when Carmy and Syd have a chance to talk- they take on showing Carmy and Sydney closely. So we the audience could pay attention. In episode 3 of season 3, Marcus mentions unspoken communication during his mother's eulogy. The camera pointedly shows Carmy and Syd, and throughout the season, we see them subtly noticing each other. Sydney notices that Carmy writes in the margin, and Carmy notices that Sydney has a Coca-Cola every shift. Carmy also notices that Sydney is tired. There are cues that they see each other but are not saying what needs to be said.

But I love the scene from 3x09 because it portrays unspoken communication and shows how frustrating it can be. Carmy has been contemplating what he wants to say for some time. He avoids eye contact as he gathers his thoughts, with a hint of sadness present.

We're anticipating a real talk.

He slows down, and Syd is holding on, just like us, as he grows silent. The close ups! Sydney furrowing her brows and confused as ever.

Carmy was so fucking depressing this season.

Anyway he looks like what he wants to say is so heavy.

He settles on "I don't want it to be so hard to keep up with me", instead of revealing his thoughts with Sydney. Ugh!

The most hurtful part of this interaction is seeing Sydney looking so open and hopeful, expecting to have a conversation about their relationship. It's as if all the issues of the past month and the job offer from Chef Shapiro would disappear if Carmy just talks to her and they work on their relationship.

Carmy becomes quiet, withdraws, and looks up at Sydney. He gives a tiny nod as if telling her, "That's all I can do for now. You understand, right? Let's save it for later." It's like he's asking for understanding. (Sidebar: I'm not saying I'm agreeing or feeling for him, but that's what it seems like for now.)

It's why Syd says, "Got it. Great," because they do pay attention to each other. There's an unspoken connection, and although we didn't see it much this season, it was there.

When she looks down, she feels Carmy still staring.

Can't believe I'm feeling for this man! He just looks so sad that he can't talk about all that he wants to tell her right now. Then he looks away and withdraws completely.

But I'm also really frustrated for Sydney! Say what you need to say, Carmy. To be fair, she pushes her own talk to Carmy for later. This scene was so frustrating, but I loved the acting and cinematography - the close shots that make us pay attention to their expressions. But it's a different close-up from the ones with Claire. This is subtle and is more about focusing on Sydney and Carmy.

She gives it one more try before she leaves she turns to him- still hoping- still waiting.

But they settle for saying goodnight, and Carmy mentally disappears and gets fixated on his work.

Carmy misses his chance, and he's running out of time with Sydney.

I hope it's not too late.

[denerturee]

It's not easy being trans

[thetinyjimmy]

Another day another opportunity to try and figure out wtf @thetinycurly is saying 😊

[big-low-t]

[writer-and-artist27]

Because reading section 2 of Lostbelt 7 had a lot of thoughts emerge.

It is well about time to process a real-life's worth of a year of emotional manipulation and abuse, anyway.

Inspired by real life and Chapter 30 of Fate/Grand Order From Lostbelt.

Content warning for discussion of abuse, as well as spoilers up to Section 2 of Lostbelt 7.

Tagging @partialdignity, @lunarimpact, @crescentialee, @magicallygrimmwiccan, and @withanina in particular, because you all helped with bringing this update so fast. Thankie, friends.

AO3 link here. OST Playlist here, with the new songs all included.

[misssclumsy]

Istg it's so hard to live with a brain who gives you flashback of your ex in every five seconds

[softquietsteadylove]

Gil gets hurt and Thena takes care of him. We need some soft content hehehe free choice and thanks <3

"You okay?"

Thena blinked. Her vision was fading on her. She looked back at Gil, who was staring at her with those big brown eyes of his. She smiled, moving away from the edge of the loft and leaning over him again. "I should be asking you that. You need to rest."

"I am," he pointed out weakly, moving his eyes around to indicate the thorough incapacitation of his body. They had gotten up the ladder on pure adrenaline. They just needed somewhere off the ground and safe for the night while the herd outside passed, or at least calmed.

The barn doors were holding, thanks to the plank of wood they had secured after all of them holding them with all their strength.

Thena had spread out some hay. They didn't bring much with them--this was supposed to be an easy day trip for supplies. She had laid Gil down, balling up her sweater under his head as the least she could do. "Let me see it."

It wasn't as if he was in a position to stop her. He grunted as she pulled on his good arm to help him sit up, although even that caused his bad shoulder some pain. "You checked it five minutes ago."

"It was not five minutes ago," she argued with him, their voices hushed. Despite the tense silence and the low shuffling of the herd outside, it was quieter in the barn than the sterile, smooth echoes of the hospital. Not that they didn't long to be back there at the moment.

Gil let her unbutton his shirt and look at his shoulder again. He had tried to save one of their own earlier, even letting his arm be pulled out of the socket. But the herd had won, and she had pulled him away before he could be swallowed up too.

The swelling was still prominent. She didn't have anything to help with that, and neither she nor Kingo nor Ikaris were knowledgeable enough to pop it back into place for now. She wondered if they would even be strong enough.

"I've dislocated my shoulder before, y'know."

"Is that so?" she whispered, pulling his shirt away from him as if it would cause the injury to worsen. Already his skin was starting to change colour.

"I was maybe 14?--my dad thought it would be a good idea to make me join wrestling. Thought I was too timid, especially for being kind of a husky kid," Gil continued as she traced the edge of his swelling with her eyes. She didn't dare touch it. "Obviously, I didn't wanna do it."

"Obviously," she added, because of course Gil didn't want to fight his peers as a growing teen, probably just as sweet and shy as he was now.

"So, my first practice I tried to just go limp and play dead, but the other guy was not having it," he chuckled. She watched the shadows of his breathing against the glow of the flashlight. "He ended up popping my shoulder out, he was trying so hard. I was just happy I got to quit the team."

"Gil," she scolded him with a smile. The idea of young teen Gil, shy in a wrestling leotard and just trying to make friends crossed her mind. "I imagine it hurt then, too."

He let out a breath. He was careful about it. He was putting up a good front, but she knew when he was in pain. She had seen it enough during their time on the road. "I guess it did."

She frowned. This wasn't the kind of injury they could disinfect and wrap up. They still had to get him back to the car and then back to the hospital without incident. And this was the open road; it wouldn't be easy to mow a path for them back to the cars from here.

But she could do it.

Gil wheezed as she helped him lie down again. He forgot to pretend he was fine when he was moving, his face twisted in pain. "Bill-"

"Hey," she cut him off. She didn't even remember his name. They had only gone on a run once or twice before. All she had known in the moment was that Gil was in danger. "Don't."

"He's got a girlfriend back at the hospital," Gil whispered to her. He opened his eyes, staring up at the room of the barn.

She moved to lean over his face, brushing his tears away. "I'm afraid it could happen to any of us, out here. We know the risks."

They all had to know the risks. What's-his-name had signed up for supplies duty just like the rest of them had. Ajak didn't assign people roles based on whim.

Thena leaned in, pressing her lips to his forehead. He still wasn't running a fever (good). "We'll tell her together--how hard you tried to save him."

Gil shut his eyes again. There was nothing they could do about it now. "You should get some sleep."

"Hypocrite."

"Really," he wheezed again. "You're not gonna stay up until dawn just because I'm like this. We need you at your best."

Thena looked out over the rest of the barn again. She could just barely make out where Ikaris was leaning up against a pillar, although she couldn't see if he was sleeping or not. Kingo was curled up on a stack of hay, already knocked out from all the effort they exerted.

"Thena, I'm fine."

He was far from fine. He was hurt, and suddenly their days on the road weren't so far away anymore. The sting of peril was hot on their heels again. She could remember holding onto him, willing to pull off his other arm if it meant not letting go. Kingo was the one to pull them both, yanking her backpack to get them both up the hill and towards the barn.

She opened up her bag. She should have packed for the possibility of being stuck out here, regardless. They were getting too comfortable at the hospital--too spoiled. There had to be something she could use to help Gil in some way.

"Thena," Gil sighed as she pulled out a blanket. It was barely a blanket, more some ripped old sheet for acting as a trampoline if they had to drop things from a height and stay quiet. It barely covered from his elbows down to his knees. "Really?"

"I said hush," she muttered, moving on to his bag as well. She dug out the spare shirt he brought.

Gil moved his eyes as he watched her. "It's a nice idea, but I don't know if a summer gingham shirt is gonna offer much warmth."

She made sure to huff at him, pulling it on over her white t-shirt. she didn't bother buttoning it, but she did pull it closed around her. It was big enough to feel like having a blanket around her. "No complaining."

She curled herself up next to his good arm, wrapping her arms around her knees. He was right, she would need to sleep, even if it was nodding off for a few minutes at a time. But she couldn't take her eyes off the opening to the loft. Even after she had worked her absolute hardest to pull the ladder up with her, the thought of seeing something poke a gnarled, nightmarish head up and look at her-

"Thena."

She inhaled sharply. She was falling asleep by the second. Her head tilted and she nearly flinched at the dry, borderline icy look Gil was giving her. "I'm fine."

"I'm not asking you to sleep," he pleaded with her. His good hand moved until he could tug at the shirt of his she was wearing. "Just lie down, please."

She buried her nose in the collar of it. In truth, she was exhausted, and being tired made her feel cold. But more than that, this shirt smelled like Gil, and their room at the hospital. And she needed to feel that, right now.

Thena shifted her weight, lying down next to him, still basically curled in the fetal position.

Gil was most certainly straining his eyes to look at her. But he smiled. "Feels like old times, right?"

Times when she would be unable to sleep because she had something far too precious to protect? Yes, it did feel remarkably like that. It felt like when she watched him sleep the entire night after he got grazed by a bullet, or when she watched him sleep as his fever get worse and worse.

Sometimes she still woke up from that nightmare, unable to stop herself from checking if his forehead was hot.

The thought spooked her again. The next time she fell asleep she probably wouldn't flinch awake after a few seconds again. Gil was lying flat on his back, his eyes closed. His breathing seemed even. She shimmied closer as best she could. Just once more couldn't hurt.

She touched the back of her hand to his forehead; no fever. She leaned up and touched her lips to his cheek; a little scruffy, but warm and living. With that, she could lie down beside him, not resting on him but pressing her forehead to his arm, just to have some contact with him. This was the only way she could rest.

Tomorrow, she could worry about getting Gil home again.

[backmygirlhood]

the things you do for the people you love... (watching rizzoli & isles season 7 bc i need to see jane but everything is off, including her)

[kyouryuu-kyoushitsu]

Shoutout to all those who want to learn an uncommon langauge but are struggling because they can't afford lessons and there are next to no free resources for it. I am suffering greatly and want to cry.

[pensat-i-fet]

[amethystina]

i was getting ready for work when the email came and the way i JUMPED. Devoured that chapter with my breakfast at 5 am. I genuinely love your writing style so much.

I just wanted to ask, am I going delusional or was this chapter a slight turning point in the right direction? Like i feel like yohan is slowly but surely losing his ability to be nonchalant. But again, it could also just be my delusion born out of desperation.

Thank you so much for this wonderful wonderful chapter, I hope you're doing well love. Please take care of yourself and take your time with the next, we'll be here to support regardless💗

I'm happy to hear that I could give you something to read over breakfast! Especially at 5 AM. That's... very early 😂

And things are changing, yes, slowly but surely. But I will leave it unsaid if it's for the better because I think that depends on your angle. The fact that Yo Han is finding it harder to be nonchalant isn't necessarily a good thing, you know? Since it might just make him retreat even further to avoid feeling vulnerable.

Long story short, there's a lot going on in both Ga On and Yo Han's heads and they're in a pretty delicate position — Yo Han more so than Ga On. Because Yo Han is trying to navigate hurt and boundaries he's not used to, nor has Ga On verbalised them in a way that makes it clear to Yo Han what's actually expected of him. And that makes him more wary.

But, with that said, remember that the ball is in Ga On's court and he's not exactly doing well when it comes to convincing himself that he made the right decision. He is the one who will have to reach a turning point and decide to actually solve this. And how much longer do you think he'll last with all these thoughts and all this yearning he's feeling? He's not exactly known for his patience and level head 😆

So stayed tuned, I guess? 😉

Thank you so much for the ask and well wishes! Things are... manageable? Well, aside from the pain of removing a wisdom tooth earlier today. It's not as bad as some warned me that it would be, but it's definitely not comfortable, even with the painkillers.

So yeah! Life continues! And we'll see when the next chapter comes. I have to focus on sprucing up and preparing to sell the house. Which, unsurprisingly, is very time-consuming and exhausting. So we'll see.

Thank you again and please take care 💜

[prettywitchiusaka]

HOT TAKE TIME!!!

I've been noticing a some discussion in a few Doctor Strange circles that it'll be difficult to assert Clea as Stephen's new love interest because of the focus they put on Christine in DS2.

I understand that concern, but as a Clea Strange fan and Stephen x Clea shipper, I have to ask...Why not?

Look, Waldron's comment that Stephen and Christine's lost love was the emotional core of DS1 is dumb. I grant you that. But I like to think that things like that don't matter in good writing. You can take that lemon and make lemonade out of it.

Same thing here; so long as Stephen and Clea are written as two characters who clearly care about and love each other, does it really matter what the previous film established?

And it's not like it would be that hard, imo. All you'd have to do is introduce Clea, hint that she too has trauma and is still afraid of getting close to people, and with Stephen learning to open himself up to others again he chooses to take that leap and be vulnerable with her. Then BOOM! You have a storyline where Stephen is bonding with this woman from another dimension while making it obvious there's a romantic attraction between the two. Then maybe end the film with one of them making the first move with a kiss and imply they're going to start dating and see where it goes. There you go! Problem solved!

Now to be fair, you'd probably have to retcon the mid-credit scene with Clea into a dream, or just have DS3 start immediately after the mid-credit scene (or do what Iron Man 1 did where they start in-medias res and then flashback to a few days before Tony got kidnapped by terrorists), but that's still better than nothing!

Granted, I sincerely doubt that's what they'll do, but you never know. It all depends on the writer. And considering they got major flack for the script for DS2, I feel like they'll give the reigns to a more competent screenwriter this time around.

The point I'm getting at is that not everything is impossible to fix in writing and, if they play their cards right, Stephen and Clea's relationship can be handled well and erase any fears people may have.

[mountainofhistory]

"Greatest fanfic writer in Gensokyo? Someone said that? Clearly they've never seen the tengu doujin market."

They say you can find just about any story at the tengu doujin market... and if not, bring some money, and you can pay someone to write it for you.

[separatist-apologist]

I'm starting to think my definition of "easy" and the internet's definition of "easy" are not the same when it comes to dinner recipes. If I have to make my own dressing, that's not an easy/lazy meal.