#it's not letting me @ you directly for some reason??? tumblr is a functioning website as always

[incomprehensi-bull]

Vivarium

i got @shrimpblast for the gift exchange this year! woe, dirk upon ye

[isopodhours]

I think a lot of you people would like mastodon if you knew how it worked

[threewaysdivided]

Tumblr Post+ Isn’t Your Friend

Tumblr is beta-testing its proposed content-monetisation scheme “Tumblr Post+” and people are not happy.  For good reason.  Let’s talk about some of the problems:

Financial Security Measures

Getting this one out of the way early: Tumblr having our banking and credit card details does not fill me with confidence.

As this post pointed out, this is a website that has seen ray ban sales bot hacks, hacks that have taken over and locked people out of their accounts, a rampant - and still ongoing - porn-bot epidemic and all kinds of other basic security problems.  

The probability that your card details would be, or stay, adequately financially protected by Tumblr is laughably small.  Even if payments and financial data are managed through a third party, the blogs associated with that information are notoriously not secure.  And given how poorly Tumblr support has historically responded to users affected by account problems, the likelihood of people being properly assisted with or compensated for lost or compromised financial data would have to be somewhere close to zero.

But even if Tumblr somehow managed to pull out a perfectly secure, ironclad financial security system, there are much bigger problems in how Post+ is being pitched.

Post+ vs How Tumblr Functions

Post+ seemingly fails to understand or be compatible with the way Tumblr functions.  Unlike Instagram, Facebook, Youtube and TikTok - which are mostly driven by following specific users/ channels - Tumblr is driven by the reblog and the function of post-sharing.  Most content on the site isn’t directly reblogged from the original poster but instead gains traction by being shared by other users with large enough follower counts to propagate it outwards.  And those users may only reblog a few posts from any given creator.

What happens, then, if the followers of those larger content-aggregating blogs aren’t (or can’t afford to be) subscribed to every Post+ user on the site?  Likely that the Post+ posts are left dead in the water, the lack of visibility leading them to not be shared beyond the blogs of subscribers.

It is baffling that the Post+ designers missed this.

Transformative Works and Monetisation: The Tightrope

Tumblr has been increasingly marketing itself with the byname “the Home of Fandom”, and the majority of its userbase consists of fan communities based around copyrighted intellectual properties. This puts Post+ in a dangerous position because fanworks, by nature, have to operate in a very small grey area that explicitly excludes direct monetisation.  

Though the inability to be paid has drawn the ire of some fan-creators, the truth is works that are transformative of an existing product gain a huge advantage in terms of audience and investment.  A fancreator doesn’t need to invest the massive amount of resources and time needed to promote and build an audience that would be required for brand new works; the community comes pre-formed around the original property.  And - while it has been horrifically exploited by megacorporations - this is the good-faith reason why copyright law exists: to protect original creators from having their time, money and effort stolen by larger, further-reaching parties without adequate compensation.

In general Fair Use gives protection to paid critique/ analysis, some journalism and parody.  Transformative fanworks - fanfiction, fanart, fananimation, cosplay, unlicensed memorabilia etc - are historically far less likely to be afforded that protection, and a number of creators and large companies (Anne Rice, Disney, Nintendo etc.) are known to be very litigious.  This is why the Organisation for Transformative Works (OTW, the people behind AO3) maintains a team of lawyers and disallows direct linking to payment platforms like Ko-Fi, Patreon etc. in the archive Terms of Service - to give DMCA takedown notices and lawsuits as little legitimate ground as possible.

Charitably, you might think that perhaps Post+ is intended purely as a way for users to monetise their original content… but let’s take a gander at the wording of that post again:

Post+ is being directly, explicitly, promoted as a way to monetise fan content.  This is an embarrassing lack of understanding of the basic legality of fandom on Tumblr’s part.

Ideally this would indicate that Tumblr has a strategy in place to support or protect users who encounter legal challenges for using Post+ on fanworks - similar to OTW’s legal team.  But given how Tumblr has historically been about supporting users and fixing issues, what we’re more likely to see is something akin to what happened with Youtube and the Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act; the platform shifting most of the burden of compliance to individual users in order to profit while mitigating the risk to themselves, leaving users out in the cold.  (Update: as of 21 July Tumblr’s Terms of Service have been changed to pass all associated responsibility and risks to Post+ users.)

At worst, this could see OTW add Tumblr to the list of banned weblinks if Post+ becomes widespread enough that they can no longer argue that it isn’t a fanwork monetisation service - something which would significantly damage the interconnectivity of fandom.  Tumblr is one of the most publicly available and least insular of the long-form mixed-multimedia sites - the freedom of widespread reblogging and multi-fandom blogs allowing a level of inter-community crosspollination that isn’t as prevalent on private blogging sites, subreddits or discord servers.  Imagine the loss of community engagement and traffic in both directions if AO3 was legally forced to disallow mentions or links to Tumblr on the archive; noting that its main competitor and other major fanwriting repository - Fanfiction.net - already doesn’t allow external links (and is showing symptoms of a Zombie site on the verge of going down) and that posts containing links to FFN frequently fail to show up in Tumblr’s search and tag functions.

Even if Tumblr were to implement a flagging system to prevent Post+ from being used for copyrighted material, the NSFW ban has already shown us how poor and inaccurate Tumbr’s automated flagging is, and we’ve seen how easily community-driven flagging can be abused by trolls and large corporations to harass other users and silence unfavourable discussions on sites like Youtube.

Creators vs Platform vs Audience

The relationship between for-profit platforms and creators is inherently hostile in all models where the creator isn’t paying a platform fee or otherwise making purchases from the platform.  As they say: if you’re not paying, you’re the product.

That means there are two different sets of incentives at play.  For creators, incentives pull towards community building and personal profitability.  For platform owners they pull towards platform-wide profitability and advertising - something that gives individual users increasingly less power.

In a situation like this, Post+ has the potential to majorly shift the dynamic of community interactions should it become widely adopted.

If Post+ becomes the most effective way for Tumblr to make money, then incentives would likely pull Tumblr’s strategy towards making Post+ as widespread as possible in order to maximise profit.  This could see the design of the site shift in ways that make it more passively hostile to non-paid, non-paying users.  For example, the potential for implementation of something like verified users, or algorithms that prioritise free content produced by Post+ using bloggers or that link to Post+ paywalled posts.  Should something like this occur it could change the power dynamic on the site; arbitrarily favouring and elevating certain voices while making it harder for free bloggers and new users to find traction and communities without buying in.

Not only that but it has the potential to further drive wedges between content creators and other community members.  Already, fanwriters and fandom olds are lamenting the shift from more collaborative, conversation-driven community structures to the ‘like and keep scrolling’ consumerist social media culture encouraged by Instagram, Facebook and other platforms. Creators have already expressed strain and discomfort at audience members who act entitled to free content while not sharing or otherwise meaningfully interacting with that content. By delineating the “producers” from the “customers”, Post+ could shift relationships in a more transactional, impersonal direction, further eroding the sense of mutual community.  

And Post+ doesn’t give refunds if a user intentionally misleads you about the content you’re paying to unlock.

On top of that, the Tumblr community in general is very anti-monetisation and at times openly hostile to even small and reasonable attempts to monetise purely original content.  Not only is this, again, a fundamental misunderstanding of the userbase and community on Tumblr’s part, it also risks making good-faith early adopters of Post+ vulnerable to targeting.  

In fact, Tumblr already threw one of its initial Post+ users under the bus:

Pay-to-Harass

It shouldn’t be a contentious statement to say that Tumblr has a massive and widespread problem with bullying and harassing behaviours, dog-piling and hate campaigns.  In other parts of the internet “the blue hellsite” is all but synonymous with bad-faith bad-takes and witch-hunts.

In light of that, this discovery is particularly worrying:

When you consider the amount of time, energy and resources some people on this site already invest in making a hobby of systematically harassing other users -  writing callout posts, falsifying evidence, sock-puppet-ing multiple accounts to get around blocks, stalking them across platforms, locating their real home addresses and contact details in order to dox them, file false police reports or send misinformation to their families/friends/employers - the idea that a few toxic users would willingly pay the equivalent of a Netflix subscription in order to become an inescapable presence in their target’s life is not at all unreasonable.

The idea that content creators could have no ability to directly moderate their Post+ follower communities is ridiculous to the point of farce.  This would be ripe for abuse by antis and other cyberstalkers.  You can already picture the ease with which someone might maintain one or more alt-accounts for the purpose of taking out Post+ subscriptions in order to become an unstoppable harasser after being blocked, leaving the user no choice but to deal with their toxicity until the support team got around to responding (if they did at all).

But unless Tumblr is going to change this, or implement a priority-response system to ensure harassment by Post+ subscribers is handled rapidly, what will be the solution for targeted users - other than dropping out of Post+ entirely to regain blocking privileges and protect themselves?

And considering that harassment campaigns disproportionately target People of Colour, Women, LGBTQIA+, Neurodivergent and other already marginalised groups...  Suffice to say it doesn’t fill me with enthusiasm.

What’s Going to Happen with the Hate Speech?

Much as we may not like to admit it, there are a not-insubstantial number of actively racist, homophobic, transphobic, anti-Semitic and other violently hateful exclusionist users and communities on the site.  Despite the bans and purges, they’re still here.

So this is more a question for the Tumblr team:  Are you going to let these groups use Post+ too?  Will users be able to monetise posts spreading Hate Speech, Propaganda and Active Misinformation?  And in those cases, are you still going to take a cut?

If Tumblr does, and they allow these people to finance their communities through the site, and they take a cut of that revenue, how legally liable could Tumblr be held for any harms caused?

And if they don’t, then how are they going to implement a content flagging/reporting system that won’t either catch in its net a large number of undeserving posts, or be easily abused by trolls and antis?

Models for Monetisation

As anti-monetisation as the community at large is, we should recognise the financial reality of running a platform.  Servers cost money, domain names cost money, paying staff to maintain basic site functionality costs money.  That money has to come from somewhere, and as a company Tumblr also has to make a certain amount of profit on top of covering operating costs.

Personally, I would be okay with Tumblr reaching out to a few more lucrative advertisers and running a small number of extra ads if that was what was needed.  However this also represents a problem of Tumblr’s own making; through their own failure to moderate and prevent harassment, toxicity, hate-speech and inappropriate content they have ended up with a platform that many advertisers would be understandably reluctant to have associated with their brand.

So let’s say they have to turn to users.  And before we do that, let’s talk about the weird contradiction in Tumblr’s actions and statements over the last few years.  

The NSFW purge of a few years ago was outwardly stated as being at least partially aimed at making Tumblr more accommodating for younger users. But younger users don’t typically have access to bank cards - assuming they have independent bank accounts at all.

So then… who’s the target for Post+ in terms of the paying audience?  The adults, who supposedly aren’t the primary userbase of Tumblr? Or the kids, who generally aren’t as able to pay?

And that’s not even considering that a lot of the most active, content-generating, content-consuming fandom users are high school students, college students and entry-level workers; people who generally don’t have a lot of disposable income to regularly splash around.  

Tumblr really doesn’t seem to understand who its userbase is or what monetisation models would actually suit them.

For the sake of being productive instead of just complaining, here are some suggestions for other user-based monetisation models:

A coin and award system similar to Reddit, where users could purchase Tumblr-specific fun-bucks towards trophies that could be gifted to posts and reblogs that they found particularly good/ bad / funny/ stupid/ creative/ what-have-you.

Tradeable cosmetic decorations (e.g. stickers, stamps, creatures) that could be collected and displayed on user’s blogs.  This could be run similar to a Trading Card Booster Pack - purchasing a selection of randomised collectibles that could then be gifted or traded to assemble sets or acquire rarer ones.

A Premium post-editor subscription that gave users more comprehensive text, layout and presentation options to create nicer-looking content.

A Premium Dashboard Subscription that allowed more control over font, font size, layout, palette etc.

A Subscription to premium engagement tools that could let users do things like track different reblog chains coming off their posts, sort activity history by user, post or post-type, actually mass-edit tags on multiple posts at once etc.

If Tumblr was really wedded to allowing creators to monetise, a blog-wide tip-jar system would prevent the reblog-blocking of paywalled posts and may give more plausible deniability and legal protection to fan-bloggers who mix in some fair use and original content.

The problem with most of these, of course, is that Tumblr would have to invest time, effort and resource into creating features that the community would actually want to pay for.  And, historically, they’re not into that.

Ill-considered and Underprepared

Quick credit to the Folding Ideas videos on Vidme or Why Platforms Aren’t Your Friend, React World and Gaming the Youtube Algorithm, which informed a lot of the next two parts.

Even at a glance, Post+ seems wildly unprepared, ill-considered and poorly researched. Beyond just the failure to consider the legal hurdles of monetising a mostly fandom-focussed site and how Tumblr’s content-sharing model works, the Post+ survey’s questions about post types and schedules are incredibly vague, and seemingly don’t consider some major categories of content.

There’s no mention of studyblr, educational blogs, mental health blogs, character ask blogs, analytical/meta content, or many other common post types - except if you put it in as free-text under “other”.  “Writing” is incredibly vague and could cover everything from writing advice to fanfic to fan-meta to original fiction, let along different genres within that.  The same with “Textile art” or “makeup” or “videogames” or “comics”.  It doesn’t actually say anything meaningful about the content.

This one’s also weird because, as far as I know, Tumblr users generally don’t go looking for creators - they look for content and then find creators through reblogs, mutuals or tags. As mentioned before, Tumblr is driven by shares, not follows. (Noting also that Tumblr’s search functions are notoriously poor).

Not only does this show a really poor understanding of the site’s content, it also raises a question. A major monetisation feature like this should be backed by market research and development.  If Tumblr has done proper market research, then why are these questions so nonspecific?  And if they haven’t, then why are they trying to crowdsource it from the community instead of doing so?

The truth is, Tumblr users have regularly voiced requests for (or complaints about) features - of which direct monetisation is not a major one.  And monetisation options already exist, in the form of Patreon, Ko-Fi, Venmo and other services.  All of which, by virtue of specifically being payment services, have better set out the relationship, responsibilities and protections between the users and the service than Post+ does.

What Tumblr users actually want are things like the ability to send asks from sideblogs, live-record audio and video posts, mute notifications from specific posts, disallow reblogs on their own posts and have more control over post visibility.  For a long time, users have been calling for feature improvements such as a more effective blocking system, better moderation of harassment, and actually functional key-word and tag searches that let you find posts instead of having to google your own blog.

Users have been especially been calling for a proper crackdown on the egregious epidemic of spam bots and particularly the porn bots which have continued to operate despite the NSFW purge - the latest wave of which being so blatant that users clicking over to check whether a new follower is legitimate are being confronted by autoplaying GIFs of up-close, real-life penetrative sex acts.

(As a sidenote: placing users in a position where they are regularly non-consensually exposed to explicit pornographic content without being given tools to effectively avoid or prevent it falls under some legal definitions of sexual harassment.  And given that Tumblr is knowingly refusing to either give individuals adequate tools to protect themselves or to implement an effective systemic solution to the problem despite widespread reporting and public complaints, it could be considered vicariously liable for the sexual harassment of its userbase.)

Given all of this, why is the paid feature Tumblr chose to propose a subscription-based monetisation tool?

What Post+ Suggests About Tumblr’s Intentions

Overall, the implementation and seeming design of Tumblr Post+ does not suggest good things about Tumblr’s intent with this “feature”.

The truth is, Tumblr and Reddit are two of the major open generators of fair use and uncopyrighted original content on the  English-speaking internet.  Screencaps and reposts of content from Tumblr make a lot of ad revenue for third-party websites (wimp.com, didyouknowfacts.com, boredpanda etc) and other social media platforms.  And, although monetisation options already exist for Tumblr users, they’re also third party, with Tumblr seeing none of the revenue.  But Tumblr doesn’t produce any of that value-generating content itself.  It’s just the host platform for the creators who do.

This attempt to become “Diet Patreon” via Post+ suggests that the intent is less about “empowering your favourite fanauthors and fanartists” and far more about Tumblr wanting to get its fingers in the money pie.

Think about is this way. A Post+ making $3-5 dollars per view or at most a Netflix subscription per subscriber isn’t a lot of money for the post owners.  It’s pocket change, a small side-hustle at best.  And for individual users, the 10% cut taken by Tumblr (or 30% for App store subscribers) will likely be barely noticeable.

But from Tumblr’s side, multiply that 10% cut by a hundred, a few hundred, a thousand, a few thousand users… suddenly it’s not pocket change anymore.  

“Find a million tiny sources of revenue and skim a miniscule amount off the top of each: it all adds up.” - Folding Ideas

Then consider the design of Post+ being proposed; the lack of support, the potential for abuse and harassment, the changes Tumblr has already made in its Terms of Service to shift the burden of legal risk onto Post+ users while encouraging them to monetise the kind of content that will incur that risk… the picture it paints is Not Good.

This is probably part of the same reason why the bot problem hasn’t gone away, and why the only time a solution was even attempted was when it got bad enough to effect the profitability of the App.  It doesn’t matter how annoying and uncomfortable it is for genuine users; so long as stakeholders and advertisers are unaware of how many engagement metrics and ad impressions are coming from bots programmatically trawling the site for Search Engine Optimisation, the sale value of the platform and ad spaces will remain higher than its actual value.  It’s all about the money.

And when you consider all the options Tumblr could have taken to fix or add features, crack down on bots and harassment, improve moderation and otherwise increase the genuine value and reputation of its content and userbase.  Well…

The most generous interpretation of Post+ is that it’s a genuinely well-intentioned but horrifically ill-considered attempt to support creators; failing to understand the basic legality of fandom, how fan communities function or what its userbase wants.

And at worst, it’s rent-seeking.  It’s an attempt to lure in users that it can grift off as revenue-generators by dangling promises of getting paid.  To recoup value lost from the platform by its history of abominably poor management, poor moderation and slapdash band-aid solutions that have historically created or worsened far more problems than they fixed.

This change isn’t users paying Tumblr to become stronger stakeholders in how the site/app is run, or to benefit from a desired feature that makes the experience better. It’s Tumblr setting itself up to skim revenue from people paying other creators, while still treating both as products.

It’s a Bad Look.

[datestamped: 24 July 2021]

[chouhatsumimi]

Hi! I am trying to become a japanese to English (& vice versa) translator. I can't find any sources to check the English to Japanese translation. It is difficult to get which grammar must be used since I am not a japanese native and don't know any natives to ask either. I have studied till N2 level but have no experience and must start freelancing to get experience so I need to figure out how to translate on my own. I can only use free translation software but I am not sure about it's reliability. I have seen questionable translations when it's for Japanese to English. Do think you can give any suggestions or anything that might be helpful?

Hi! I did put in a little time searching for the kind of tools you might have had in mind.

It seems that there are many that function in the exact same way but have different interfaces. Here are two of them. Many others can be found by searching "日本語文章校正ツール" or similar keywords. https://dw230.jp/kousei/

https://so-zou.jp/web-app/text/proofreading/

While they can point out some things to look out for, from the testing I did with them, they overlooked some pretty obvious errors, while also catching some things that I couldn't figure out why it thought it was wrong/sounded bad, or how to fix it.

There was one more I found that I didn't try, because it involves downloading software. This page explains the software, and another page on the site offers the download. The webpage is sponsored by a university, so I think it's safe to assume its trustworthy, but it might be a hassle and I can't say for sure if it works.

https://www.pawel.jp/outline_of_tools/tomarigi/

--------------------

That said, it's most common for translators to work from one language INTO their native language. While interpreters often have to go both directions (J <--> E), translators typically work either (J -> E) [English native speakers] OR (E -> J) [Japanese native speakers]. If you grew up bilingual, maybe you can translate both ways. But if English is your native language and you learned Japanese as a second language (which is true of my situation), it's pretty much not going to be worth bothering to do E->J translation, unless there are extenuating circumstances. The reasons for this are 1) You can't be sure that the translation you produce reads smoothly or is error-free 2) While you might think, but yes, if I do a really thorough check and compare it against native Japanese examples, I can be pretty darn sure it's perfect, the amount of time it takes you to do that is not going to be cost-effective. Like anything else, people purchasing translation as a service usually want the end result to be done well, in a timely manner, and as cheaply as possible, so it doesn't make sense to hire you for E -> J when they could hire a native Japanese speaking translator, or send their work to an agency to find that translator for them.

If you ARE translating into Japanese and are not a native speaker of Japanese, it is a good idea to have a fellow translator who has the opposite native language you do (in this case Japanese & English), and ask them to check it over for you (which, considering that's part of their job, you'd probably pay a small fee for). They could do the same to have you proofread their translations into English. Some translators consult friends/spouses, etc., but I think this can get old for them sometimes, so it's advisable not to rely on them for your job. You mentioned not having any native speakers to ask right now, but this is still an idea you can file away for in the future when you meet more people and get to know other translators.

In short, if you're aiming to become a translator working with Japanese but are not a native Japanese speaker, don't worry about translating into Japanese. Just focus on translating from Japanese into your native language.

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Translation software: let me make a distinction here between "machine translation" and "CAT [computer aided translation] tools".

Machine translation is Google Translate, DeepL, anything like that. There are times when they work well, but particularly with a language like Japanese that likes to imply a lot of information instead of stating it directly (such as who is doing the action described in the sentence), they're pretty much always going to miss something. In any situation that someone is looking to pay a translator to do work, it's because they already know machine translation won't cut it. One thing that's becoming more common is MTPE (machine translation post editing), where a translator "fixes" what's wrong with a machine translation (or more often than not, just re-translates it from scratch because what the machine came up with is mostly useless).

CAT tools, on the other hand, are widely used by translators. Paid CAT tools such as Trados, MemoQ, Memsource, etc. can be very expensive, and are often provided by a translation agency to their translators. (Also, most of them require a PC operating system.) There's more I could say, but since I haven't been in any situations that require them, I don't have any personal experience. I do have experience using OmegaT (free, works on Mac) and Felix (free, I use it on Windows). They both take a little tinkering to figure out how to use effectively, but basically what they do is, once you've translated a segment of text, they store the original segment and the translated segment, and for each new segment you go to translate, the CAT tool compares it to segments that you've previously translated to see if you can re-use any of what you came up with before. They can also have a built-in dictionary function, but that's basically just having your typical web-based dictionary but more automatically and in a more convenient location.

--------------------

For going into freelancing, I have a few recommendations.

Apart from CAT tools, some resources that I refer to frequently are http://nihongo.monash.edu/cgi-bin/wwwjdic?9T (basically looks up all the words in a sentence at once), http://thejadednetwork.com/sfx/ (if you're doing anything with sound effects, like manga), https://tsukubawebcorpus.jp//search/ (this is a corpus, I have another post on how to use it -here-, it's probably going to be your best bet when it comes to checking grammar), https://books.google.com/ngrams (for when it comes to figuring out what turns of phrase are commonly used in English), and https://yomikatawa.com/ (for figuring out the readings of names in Japanese, though there are other sites that work similarly).

When it comes to practicing, contests are a good place to start. The two I know of now are run by JAT in October (https://jat.org/events/contests) and JLPP deadline of 7/31 (and they're long, so it's probably too late for this year unless you're free between now and then: https://www.jlpp.go.jp/en/competition6/competition6en.html ) You can also practicing doing translations for fun. Any kind of media you enjoy (manga, video games, variety shows, newspaper articles) is a good target for doing a practice translation. Just be wary that it's not a good idea to post your translation in a public location on the internet, because it could be infringing copyright/licensing agreements, etc. Finally, there are websites like Gengo, Conyac, Fiverr and others where you can do gig translation work. They can be useful for practice, but also have the pitfall of paying, like, 5% of the rate you should be getting. This is an ongoing debate because on one hand, you can get practice while still getting a little money for it, but on the other hand, if customers can get people to do that work for 5% of a livable wage, that makes it harder for aspiring and working translators to find enough work that pays well enough to support themselves doing only translation for a living. Entertainment (primarily manga) scanlation groups also a significant enough force to merit a mention here- many aspiring entertainment translators find themselves a part of such a group. Practice is practice and developing your skills is important, but they also have many many of the same problems associated with them as I mentioned above, namely infringing on copyright and contributing to the inability of anyone to turn entertainment translation into a livable full-time job.

Another recommendation I have is to join some J/E translation-focused groups. This page lists a number of them: https://shinpaideshou.com/translation/ I can personally vouch for JAT as I am a member and I got my current job by being part of their directory. They run an online training program (eJuku) once a year around April, and applications only stay open for a few days, so if you're interested make sure you keep your eye out. Another one not listed on that page is https://swet.jp/ which is not entirely about translation, but it is heavily related and they host some good events. Twitter is also a very good place to be if you're getting into J/E translation. I prefer to keep my tumblr and twitter separate but if you DM me, I can give you my handle so you can see who I follow and who among that seems worth following to you.

--------------------

In closing, I see you say "I have studied till N2 level but have no experience and must start freelancing to get experience so I need to figure out how to translate on my own." I'd say, give yourself some time. Even at N1 there's still going to be a lot you don't understand (or at least there was for me, that's why I started this langblr). I'm sure there are differences in our situations, but it was about five years ago for me that I started diving into translation- I think I was between N2 and N1 then. I've done a lot of translating and gotten a lot of experience since then, but I also have and am experiencing a lot of burnout. (In fact, I'm procrastinating right now by answering this....) Many translators have a job and translate on the side, and it's also common to gain experience with a company or agency before diving into supporting yourself on freelance work. I'd encourage you to take a breath, get experience when and where you can, and remember that if you keep at it long enough, you're sure to get there- just don't wear yourself out or worry to death in the meantime!

OH and definitely keep track of what projects you do, how long they are, and how long it takes you to do them! Knowing your speed is important when it comes to setting your working rates. I am always doubting these, and they differ from person to person, but my current estimates are that I can do 600 moji (Japanese characters) per hour, ~10 min. of audio per hour, and I try to aim for $45~$60 per hour. Generally the lowest acceptable standard rates are $0.05-$0.06 per moji and ~$5 per page of manga. You'll definitely get requests lower than that, so remember your sanity and don't be afraid to say no, there are plenty of opportunities out there!

[queenlilith43]

Reasons Why Post Plus is a Terrible Idea

Tumblr has recently unveiled their new "Post Plus" feature. It allows people to put a paywall around their blogs, allowing them to charge up to $9.99 a month, with Tumblr taking a 5% cut of the creator's earnings. In this post, I will explain why this is a horrible idea.

@staff: You better listen up. I took a few hours away from my day for this. I had to have my friend Ashley help me with this, and that took time from her day too. (Thank you @patalliumapples) I'm explaining everything under the cut because this is long.

1. We Don't Have the Money

First of all, Tumblr is a social media site. This means in countries like the US, people as young as 13 can sign up and have an account. Most teenagers do not have the money to keep up with their favorite blogs for the low, low price of $9.99!

Second of all, a lot of adults on the site already are having trouble paying their bills, and don't have any content they would be willing to charge people on. As explained in this post, people are already struggling. (They also explain how to support creators better, which I will go onto later.) They don't have the money to spend on this. I, as a teenager myself, don't have enough money to spend to unlock Tumblr blogs. I don't know if I even can, I don't have a credit card or anything, and I don't want debt before I'm out of high school. Oh, and that leads me right next into the next point.

2. You could fix other things

Tumblr is called a Hellsite for many reasons, and how it breaks a lot is one of them. One problem are the Ray-Bans sunglasses bots that hack the site every so often. I have gotten one, Ashley has gotten three.

You can also barely even search on this website. Searching for tags brings up the randomest things. You can barely even search your own blog, this is how bad it is. Fixing those issues before we give you our credit card number would be a great thing.

3. People don't want it

The consensus so far is NO. In some cases, "FUCK NO" This is valid, people don't want it. We can't pay for it, and we really don't need it. Everyone hates it.

And you bet that the Tumblr-famous will try this out.

I, as of writing this, have 416 followers. I bet all of them would leave me if I tried to do a paid post. (Not like I can, I'm a broke teenager, but still.) That would limit the market.

And other people have expressed they would leave anyone who put their posts behind a paywall, such as in this newly-viral post.

4. Monetization of fanfic

Alright. *Cracks fingers* I get to show off my knowledge of copyright law.

Fair use that covers fanfiction does not cover having to pay for it. Monetization of fanfiction is not legal, and if someone tries, the original content creator can issue a DMCA takedown order. The person who posted and monetized the fanfiction will be forced to take down their post, hurting their earnings. This will affect Tumblr.

Also, as we saw recently with a Loki T-shirt on Etsy, big corporations are known for taking down anything they consider infringement, even if it falls under fair use. There was a scare a while back on Ao3 (Archive of Our Own) that Disney would take down their fanfiction, but Ao3 had a legal time that can fight for them. Tumblr probably does not, and would probably lose a legal battle against Disney.

In fact, Ao3 does not allow any sort of links to other monetizable websites, like Pateron and Ko-fi, on their platform to avoid potential legal trouble. It's included in their terms of service, which you can read here. I would recommend it, and to check out some other links. They explain legal issues quite well.

And as satirized in this post, trying to find posts on Tumblr for a DMCA takedown is pretty damn hard.

5. You can get around paying for a post through the reblogs.

Despite the fact that is something you're technically not supposed to do, people can just copy and paste the content. The fact is if anyone has a Post Plus post, you bet the entirety of Tumblr is going to get around that. After all "you can share a teaser of +Post Content through the reblog function on the Services" (From the Tumblr TOS)

6. We've had mirror sites that could probably get around the paywall

In the past, we have had many mirror sites. They are the exact mirror of our Tumblr, tracking everything right down to our reblogs. Last I heard they were all shut down, though Tumbex sounded like it was going to come back. If these mirror sites are smart enough, they would be another way around the paywall.

7. You can't block people who are paying for your content

This is a problem. People can harass you, and sometimes, this Hellsite won't take them off. The block button is an important tool. I, for one, currently have 11 people blocked for various reasons. Some of them were messing with me in the reblogs of a post (it wasn't even their place to do so) and I didn't think Tumblr would count this as harassment.

If you can't block people, and even with the risk of it hurting your earnings, it's not good. Even remotely.

8. There are other ways to support creators that are much better. 

As said in the very first reason, creators hate this Post Plus. They prefer being supported in other ways. People also don’t always want to be paid for the content (not even counting legal issues) And if they want to there are already platforms set up for them to use. For example, Pateron has tiers you can set up for membership, ranging up to $100. There, you know what you walked into. You’re not expecting free content, like on Tumblr, you’re building a relationship with the people in your community. Ko-fi lets people donate directly to their content creators, and won’t take any of their donations, unlike the 5% cut Tumblr is planning on taking. Both platforms also offer features that would not be available on Tumblr. Creators are also more likely to already have one of these set up, and keep Tumblr for their free content. 

9. Tumblr could make money through better ads

Tumblr ads are famously . . . what’s the word? Ah, yes, “batshit” is the word I’m looking for. I’ve gotten ads for tattoo aftercare, signs of heart disease (the picture provided was someone with their nails painted blue), maps of the USA, celebrities that has passed away, lists of bad cities in my state, graphics of chickens with Hindi (note: I am American), and apparently now I should be worried if my dog licks their paws. (?) As I went to check my dash while writing this post, I saw a small air cooler that was apparently more powerful than A/C being advertised. 

No one clicks on them except for a laugh, or if they accidentally thought it was something that was actually interesting. Most of the time, it is not. Tumblr could do something like Instagram and actually have good ads and make more money off of it. It may not be as much as they thought they were going to make, but it’s better than what they have now. (It’s a low bar.) 

10. This is the same website that spearheaded DashCon

You remember DashCon, don’t you? 

This seems to illustrate the website's stupidity in one picture and this is why you shouldn't trust us with money.

If you have any other reasons why this is bad reason, reblog the post with your reasons. I'd like to hear them, and don't forget to tag the staff.

There is a survey Tumblr wants you to fill out here, it's a step you can take. You can also listen to the protest @postplus-protest which should help. It starts August 6th, it's going to be a great time.

[mittensmorgul]

The Tumblr Beta Version: an objective analysis

I was tempted to just type “it sucks.” And while that is an objective analysis, it’s not exactly helpful. I’ve sent several requests to @staff and @support to restore my account to the old tumblr dashboard format, and received the same automated reply twice now. I’ll copy/paste it here so everyone is on the same page:

(lol, I had to go back and edit this, because apparently the beta version doesn’t display block quotes on the dash. So I’ve also put the block quotes in italics... hopefully it’ll display properly... note after editing: nope, it doesn’t display italics either... how the heck am I supposed to differentiate quoted text? I’ll start each quoted bit with an asterisk, I guess...)

*Thanks for reaching out about the beta dashboard.

*We're currently testing it out, and your account seems to have been selected to take part in the test. Thanks for your patience while we work on it! At this time there is not a way to opt out of testing. You may see your Tumblr experience return to normal as we continue testing.

WE CAN ONLY HOPE.

*In the meantime, check out some of the new features available only in the beta dashboard:

OKAY TUMBLR, IF YOU INSIST, though I would MUCH rather have back all the functionality I personally invested into this website through xkit... you know... making the site ACTUALLY FUNCTIONAL. Let’s see what this beta version has given me instead of functionality:

*Change Palettes: Go to the person icon, then click "Change Palette." You'll find the classic Tumblr blue, dark mode, and a few other color palettes for your dash.

So I tried out all the color palettes. In addition to the ones mentioned here, there’s one that’s trying to look like a green screen terminal that gives me flashbacks to the early 80′s. There’s a reason we stopped using green screen terminals... Another one is “canary yellow.” It’s very yellow. The “classic tumblr” isn’t actually classic tumblr... all the post boxes are dark blue with grey type, not white with black type. And all the other colors are the insanely bright fluorescent of the new Dark Blue standard tumblr scheme. Which means links are practically invisible unless I highlight them. It’s migraine inducing. The one theme with a light colored background is called “Concrete” or “Cement” or something like that and even that only works for about half an hour before the migraine aura really kicks in. I just want my Old Blue via xkit back. You know, what tumblr actually used to look like. I don’t want any of these horrible color palettes. None of them work for me.

*The new "meatballs" menu: This is where you can copy the post link, unfollow the Tumblr who made or reblogged the post, or report a violation to our Community Guidelines.

I could do all of this from the user menus with xkit, too. I don’t regularly report violations or have the urge to block people I have chosen to follow. Why on earth would I want to do any of this? And why would I want these features located directly beside the post link copy feature? 

You know what I do miss? I miss the xkit timestamps feature. I didn’t have to hover dangerously close to the KILL IT WITH FIRE meatballs menu in order to see when a post was made, and in this era of disinformation and misinformation spreading around this site faster than Covid-19, being able to see when a post was ORIGINALLY created is a far more useful feature than an easier way to block people. For reference: I currently have three blogs blocked. Two of them are pornbots. One is a nazi. If I don’t want someone’s content on my dash, I don’t follow them. This “feature” is entirely useless to me.

*A quick note: Pagination is not supported in this beta test, but we're collecting feedback to send to our engineers.

THIS IS THE ABSOLUTE WORST. This beta test might actually be tolerable if I wasn’t trapped into endless scrolling. If I could page through my dash, refreshing it every ten posts or so. You know why? Because once I scroll about 30 posts down my dash, tumblr starts overheating my laptop under the load of ALL THOSE POSTS. Things start malfunctioning-- it takes longer and longer to load new posts the farther I scroll. And the keyboard navigation (both page down and hitting J to advance to the next post, and even just using the down arrow to scroll as I read a long post) freeze and stop functioning. One of my laptop fans has actually begun to malfunction.

You know why this wasn’t a problem on the old version? If the data load got to heavy, I could open a post in a new tab, click view on dash with xkit, and voila! Brand new tab! I could close the malfunctioning tab and everything would be refreshed to normal! But without pagination, THAT IS IMPOSSIBLE.

Also, after reblogging a few posts, the beta version of this site breaks, and doesn’t open a post tab to add commentary or even tags. It just... reblogs the untagged post with no warning whatsoever. You know... that’s really really not cool. I tag EVERYTHING. Well, almost everything. The tags are the only way to keep track of the 40k+ posts on my blog. And warn people that I am posting potential spoilers, or other specific content. It’s REALLY inconvenient to have to either immediately go to my blog to edit the post and add tags, or even comments. The alternative is to scroll up to open individual posts I want to reblog in a new tab, and then reblog directly there. Ironically enough, THOSE pages actually open with xkit installed, and everything (surprise!) functions perfectly there.

It’s perfectly reasonable to understand why this specific issue has limited the number of posts I reblog. Reblogging content should not be this much of a hassle. Creators have been complaining for a while that reblogs have drastically slowed down, and I think making it even more annoying and difficult to reblog posts will not help this problem.

Also, with xkit enabled, there’s a function that auto-loads images as you scroll, so the images are always visible BEFORE they appear on screen. I don’t have to look at the colored boxes and wonder if this is a post I’ve already seen or something I should sit and wait for. Don’t even think about watching tumblr videos. Loading priority is given to the ads that you cannot pause or dismiss, so that video loads and plays in choppy two second bursts instead of being given priority. Since that’s the content I am actually here to consume, it kinda makes me want to do the opposite of patronizing anyone who advertises here with graphically intense ads. And then when you scroll away, with xkit, gifs and videos you’ve scrolled past STOP loading and playing, which I think might be contributing to the intensity of the resource hogging that’s literally melting down my laptop.

And for reference, I have a pretty decent little gaming laptop. A blogging platform shouldn’t be driving it to the brink of frying itself. I didn’t realize just how much xkit worked to streamline this and provide basic functionality to this site.

*And lastly, if you're an XKit user, know that the XKit team is working hard to update things on their end to make it compatible with the beta dashboard.

And this doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface of what I’ve lost without xkit. And this is a really REALLY garbage response to user complaints. “Oh, yeah, sorry we made our site suck even worse, but those nice people who do our jobs for free will surely fix our garbage soon!”

Dear wonderful people at @new-xkit-extension, I love you, and I miss you, and while I wish xkit worked with this beta version I’ve been forced into living with, I truly feel for y’all who are trying to deal with this nonsense on behalf of all of us.

And to the folks at Tumblr... maybe try to just... make your site actually more like xkit. You know, actually functional. None of these special new features are useful or functional to me. I respectfully request for a fourth time to be removed from this inane beta test.

Give us OPTIONS. Let us display ALL THE TAGS without having to click a button. Let me have back my Activity+ that actually allowed me to interact with people from my dash! That showed me real-time inline notifications in a way that I could reply to with a single click! Bring me back to my column of open messaging conversation icons so I have easy access to the people I talk with throughout the day instead of closing them all every time I refresh the page. I already feel socially isolated in freaking quarantine, please stop shutting off all my avenues of communication!

Let us have pagination! I mean, maybe it wasn’t the best idea to force heavy users of this site into a beta version that doesn’t allow us to opt out until your engineers had actually figured out how to make it work in a very basic way.

*Let me know if there's anything else I can help you with!

YES. PLEASE REMOVE ME FROM THIS BETA TEST NOW. I have let you know exactly what I want from this site. I just want it to ACTUALLY WORK. For someone who spends 12+ hours a day on this site, this beta test version is NONFUNCTIONAL. PLEASE ALLOW ME TO OPT OUT. I AM LITERALLY BEGGING YOU. I WILL ACTUALLY PAY YOU CASH MONEY TO ALLOW ME TO OPT OUT OF THIS AND GO BACK TO HAVING A FUNCTIONAL BLOG AGAIN. WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!

PLEASE! 

I AM OFFICIALLY AT THE END OF MY PATIENCE FOR ENDURING THIS NIGHTMARE.

(one final quick note... I’ve only been back on my dash long enough to make the parenthetical edits-- i.e. adding italics that don’t display and then adding the asterisks at the beginning of each section of quoted text, and already my laptop is overheating again. For reference, I originally typed this entire post from within my tumblr inbox page-- which still functions normally with xkit-- and spent over an hour on it. My laptop was fine the entire time. Clearly the issue is this beta version of the website. I will never forgive tumblr if y’all fry my literal only portal to the outside world at this time. PUT ME BACK TO NORMAL NOW. THIS IS ABSOLUTELY INFURIATING AND ENTIRELY UNACCEPTABLE. Thanks)

(oops apparently i lied... when the asterisks and the previous final note failed to display, I thought that seemed suspicious, and realized that I literally needed to refresh my entire dash in order to see edited changes. Funny how xkit enabled me to do that in real time, which is just another bit of functionality I’ve lost with this beta program. Please guys, this is really, really not working for me at all, just put it back.)

[let-it-raines]

another kind of green (7/10)

Emma Swan spends her days in pretty white dresses and heavy layers of makeup. Day after day and dress after dress, she poses for pictures and acts like she’s in love and having the happiest day of her life with the man standing next to her.

It’s not. This is all a gig, and at the end of the day, she’s no longer the girl in the pretty dress who’s faking getting married for a magazine cover or a wedding convention. Instead, she’s the girl who probably never wants to get married.

Little does she know, she already is.

Rating: mature

a/n: I apologize for the wait on this one. I’m obviously super spacey lately because I forgot I was supposed to be posting this story🙈

ao3: beginning | current

tumblr: 1 | 2| 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10

-/-

Emma didn’t notice the leaves change.

Yesterday, she swears that she looked outside and all of the trees were full of deep green leaves and that the grass on the ground was an equally vibrant shade. Today, however, there are brown leaves on the ground and orange and yellow leaves hanging off of limbs, and the grass growing next to the sidewalk is browning the slightest bit. She blinked, and the days changed from early September to mid-October.

How in the world?

Where did all of the time go? Wasn’t she just doing a local commercial (her least favorite kind of job) for the autumn festival that’s happening downtown? How is time for that to already be happening? They shoot those weeks and months in advance.

“On your left,” Killian calls out, and Emma doesn’t flinch. She’s used to it.

“You’re late.”

“Traffic.”

“You walk here.”

“A hell of a lot of pedestrians, Swan.”

She rolls her eyes, but she doesn’t slow down her pace, letting her legs keep powering her through this run. She’s on mile two, so Killian really is late. They’ve been getting up and going running a little after six most mornings for the past month. It’s far earlier than Emma would ever normally do it, but she likes having a running partner surprisingly enough and Killian has to go to training at eight every morning. It’s either this or run by herself so that every step is pretty much agony.

Just like she didn’t notice the changing leaves, she never really noticed how Killian wormed his way right into her run.

(At least he buys her smoothies…most of the time.)

(He’s grown fond of his mango one as well, and sometimes she does foot the bill.)

Emma turns to the side to finally look at him. He’s dressed in a pair of joggers and a BPD training sweatshirt he has to wear to the Academy, and he must be leaving directly from here instead of heading back to his apartment to take a shower.

She ran into Graham while grocery shopping last week. He was with his girlfriend, so she didn’t talk for a long time because that’s awkward as hell and she wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible, but she did learn that Killian told Graham that their marriage wasn’t something intentional. She’s not really sure when or where or why, and while something like that would normally piss her off, she’s relieved that the guilt of Graham finding out she got married like that is off her shoulders.

She’d forgotten about seeing him until she saw Killian’s sweatshirt. Graham had one just like that, and life seems to like bringing things back around for her. Maybe she should ask him about talking to Graham, or maybe she should just forget about it and move on.

Everyone else seems to have done so.

“You want to race?”

“Huh?” Emma asks, blinking away until Killian comes back into focus. She’d totally zoned out.

He raises his brows before reaching up to push his hair off his forehead. “Do you want to race me, love?”

“Please,” she scoffs, turning away from him to focus on what’s in front of her, “you couldn’t handle it.”

“Perhaps you’re the one who couldn’t handle it.”

Emma quickly turns to him again. His smirk is obnoxious, and she’s not about to pass that up.

“First one to the bench with marks from where that guy sat on wet paint wins, okay? Loser buys smoothies.”

“You’re on. When do you want to – bloody hell…”

She doesn’t hear the rest of his curse, and she does know that it’s a curse, because she’s already increased her speed and is sprinting as fast as she possibly can. It’s at least half a mile until that bench, maybe a little over, and Emma can run that far this fast without any issue. Her problem is that Killian, even though he was slower than her when he started, has started to catch up to her. His strides are already longer than hers, but with his speed catching up after so much training, she needs every advantage she can get.

Smoothies aren’t something to play around with.

He’d be so obnoxious if he won.

Killian’s on her heels for every step of the run. His muttered words and the panting of his breath hover just behind her, and she knows that if she were to suddenly stop running, he’d stumble over her. But she doesn’t stop. She lets her legs and her lungs burn and keeps going until she gets that adrenaline high that she’s been searching for. It’s been elusive lately, most of her runs dragging along at a snail’s pace, but this isn’t a long run anymore. It’s a sprint to the finish line.

Very literally.

Deep breath in. Deep breath out.

The bench is in her sight now, the poor markings left behind by someone who ruined their pants by sitting in wet paint last week, and she propels herself forward to get there before Killian when she feels a hand on her wrist, tugging her back, until she’s falling to the ground, her elbow hitting hard against the grass until she rolls over onto her back and feels the weight of Killian on top of her.

“What the fuck?” she grunts. All of the breath has been knocked out of her, and Killian’s entire body pressing down on her doesn’t help. “What was that for?”

“Sorry,” Killian grumbles, propping himself up on his elbows to lessen his body weight. His cheeks are flushed a slight pink, and his hair is falling over his forehead in sweaty sections. It makes him look younger than his usual penchant for styling his hair off his forehead. Maybe her brain just isn’t functioning correctly and he looks exactly the same. “Are you hurt?”

“I imagine my ass and my elbow are going to be bruised, but other than that, I’m fine.”

“You were about to be run over by a bike, love. Did you not hear me calling you or the incessant ringing of the bell?”

“Uhhh.”

“Exactly. I saved your life, and I think a little gratitude is in order. I do normally prefer to do more enjoyable things with a woman on her back, after all. Of course, you would know.”

His brows quickly wiggle across his forehead, and when his tongue runs over his bottom lip, heat curls between Emma’s legs that has absolutely nothing to do with how sweaty she is from running.

“Just like our marriage, I’m wiping that part from my memory.” “Ah, but you weren’t drunk for it. You actually remember it. Tell me, darling, what was your favorite part of that night? Was it when my mouth pressed into your neck in the hallway or was it when it pressed into another rater delicious – ”

“Okay,” Emma mutters, pushing her hands up against his chest until he rolls off of her and onto his back on the grass, “that’s enough of that. I haven’t eaten yet today, and you owe me a smoothie.”

Changing the subject. She has to change the subject.

“I don’t believe you won the race.”

“I was going to if you hadn’t tugged me down and nearly caused me to break a bone.”

“I was trying to pull you to the side. You’re the one who went down.”

“Semantics.” “I don’t mean to upset you, Swan, but I think we make quite the team. When it comes to running, of course. I save your life from a horrific bicycle accident, and you, well, I’m not sure what you do.”

Emma sucks in a deep breath before exhaling and twisting her head to the side. Killian’s already looking at her, lips pressed into a soft smile, and he reaches over toward her until his fingers are brushing against her skin as he tucks loose tendrils of her hair behind her ear

Did she just get a chill or was that her sweat drying?

Getting her sports bra off is practically going to be impossible. At least she can do it in privacy.

Sports bras are obviously both the best and the worst.

“I kick your ass in races.”

Killian laughs, finger brushing against her cheek again. Her body is basically a puddle now. “I’ll buy our smoothies, Swan, but you have to agree to let me take you out for your birthday next week.”

“How do you even know my birthday is next week?”

“It was on our annulment papers.”

“Oh.”

Killian twist over until he’s on his side and propping his chin up in his hand and tapping his temple. “I know you may not remember things, at least according to your manager, but I do have an excellent brain up here.”

“I’m ignoring you basically calling yourself a genius because I have to ask: when the hell did you talk to Mary Margaret?”

“Last week. Ariel was talking to her on the phone at a shoot, and they got to talking about how I’m reliable while you are not.” “I have only missed one appointment, but Mary Margaret holds onto that and brings it up every time I almost forget something. It was for an understandable reason, too.”

“And what was that?”

Emma blinks, and her mind catches up to what she just said. Shit.

“It was nothing.”

“Oh, no, it was definitely something. Inquiring minds want to know.”

“Yeah, well, inquiring minds don’t get to know.”

Emma quickly gets up from the ground, moving so quickly that she’s dizzy, but she doesn’t want to be lounging on the grass any longer. People are running by them, dirty shoes near her face, and she doesn’t even want to think about how many animals have relieved themselves where she was just resting her face.

She doesn’t want to think about anything other than getting some calories in her, taking a shower, and meeting Ruby at Flock so they can shoot next month’s catalog of clothes for the website.

“Swan,” Killian calls out, but she keeps on walking. “Swan! Love! Emma!”

“Not in the mood, Jones.”

“You were two minutes ago, and I cannot figure out what I possibly could have done to piss you off in that time.”

“You didn’t do anything.”

“I obviously did something.”

“Can’t you for once just do what I say and leave me alone?”

“Perhaps if you had actually told me to bloody leave you alone.”

Emma quickly turns on her heels to look at him. She nearly smacks herself into his chest, but she doesn’t need another collision with him, not today.

“Killian,” she says slowly, “leave me alone.”

His gaze doesn’t move away from hers, deep blue staring at her and making her want to back away, but she doesn’t. In the back of her mind, she knows he’s done nothing wrong, that he isn’t the one who’s actually pissed her off, but he’s here. What better excuse is there than that?

“If that’s what you want,” he begins, leaning down and giving her a mocking bow with a flourish of his hand, “then that’s what I’ll do.”

-/-

“This is the smallest piece of fabric I’ve ever seen.”

“I’ve seen your underwear drawer, Ems. I know that’s not true.”

Emma rolls her eyes at Ruby and tugs on the top, adjusting it until it covers her boobs. How this boutique expects any normal person to be able to wear this piece of fabric is beyond her.

“It’s ridiculous,” Emma continues, still trying to tug it down, “and this is supposedly a winter sweater. Has anyone here ever actually experienced a winter in Boston? This isn’t going to cut it.”

“Who peed in your Cheerios this morning?”

“That’s a disgusting phrase.”

“It’s obviously very apt today, though.”

“I’m fine.”

“You’re a liar.”

“No, I’m just cold.”

Emma turns on her heels and walks back out in front of the camera and the white wall as the photographer and the owner of the boutique wait for she and Ruby to be ready. Emma does the standard poses, flipping her hair and fake laughing, and then she trades off with Ruby until they’ve both gone through the entire catalog of clothes that were on the racks in the side of the warehouse.

This is the weirdest job, and she’s honestly not sure that she enjoys it much anymore. That seems like a problem for a day where she’s not already pissed off at the world.

“I will buy you lunch if you tell me what’s wrong with you.”

“Nope,” Emma sighs, tugging on her coat and fluffing her hair out as they get ready to leave the warehouse. “You cannot bribe me.”

“Okay, but what if we go back to my place, and I make Granny’s onion ring recipe?”

Emma stops and turns to Ruby, her eyes narrowing at Ruby’s wolfish grin. “You’re evil.”

“But you love me.” “That’s debatable.”

“Nah,” Ruby sighs, wrapping her arm around Emma’s shoulder, “it’s really not.”

They walk the fifteen minutes to Ruby and Mulan’s apartment, the chill of the air nipping at Emma’s nose, but once they’re inside and the heat is on and there’s that wonderful smell of onion rings and grilled cheese being cooked, Emma’s no longer freezing. She’s warm and calm and maybe she doesn’t have to be as pissy as she has been today.

“So, Mulan says you haven’t come to class in a few weeks.”

Ruby says it casually, doesn’t even bother to turn around, but Emma knows that this is the beginning of her fishing into what Emma has been doing. The woman isn’t sly at all.

“I’ve been doing other things.”

“Other things or…men?”

“Running. I’ve been running, Rubes.”

“Mhm, and you wouldn’t happen to be running every day with a very handsome man that makes me thankful that I am interested in both men and women while poor souls like you only get men?”

Emma huffs into her glass of water. “How could you possibly know about that?”

“Because I, too, avoid my girlfriend’s Pilates studio and like to go running that path sometimes.”

Well, shit. She didn’t think anyone really knew she was doing that.

“We both run. We happen to run into each other. It’s a thing.”

Ruby turns around and arches a brow, cocking her head to the side. “What’d he do to piss you off today? Might as well just skip to that question.”

“He didn’t piss me off.”

“You don’t get onion rings if you don’t tell the truth.” “Screw you.”

“That was the deal.”

“Yeah, well, I’m not very good at keeping deals.”

Ruby sighs and plates another few onion rings before turning the stove off so that the cackling of the grease quiets down. “You’re going on runs with the man that you married.” Emma opens her mouth, but Ruby holds her finger up. “Yeah, I know about that. You know Marg can’t keep things to herself. I also know that if you want to shake him off, you wouldn’t be spending so much voluntary time with him. So did he actually do something to piss you off that I need to kick his ass for, or is this just Emma being Emma?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You know exactly what that means.”

Emma ignores her and reaches up to take an onion ring only for Ruby to hold the plate away from her. “Are you serious?”

“Absolutely.”

Sighing, Emma crosses her arms over her chest and leans back on the barstool. She was pretty sure Ruby was joking about Emma having to talk about her mood, but apparently, she wasn’t.

“Nothing is wrong with me.”

“Yeah, and I’m a rocket scientist.”

“You could be.”

“Emma, do you like your husband? Is that what’s freaking you out?”

“He is not my husband.”

“You’re evading the question.”

“No,” she mumbles, “I’m not, and no, I don’t like Killian. I guess I just slept on the wrong side of the bed this morning. Can I have my onion rings now? The full plate?”

Ruby’s brow stays arched until it falls so it can furrow with her other one. “Do you really not want to talk about it?”

“There’s really nothing to talk about.”

-/-

Emma’s a liar.

She’s a lying liar who lies, but she’s not about to admit that to anyone other than her glass of wine and the can of icing that she’s eating. However many calories she burned today don’t matter because she’s consumed all of them since this afternoon.

It’s totally been worth it.

Mostly.

She can’t binge watch Poldark and not drink wine and eat icing, right? That would just be stupid.

Her phone buzzes on the couch cushion next to her.

Killian Jones: I owe you a smoothie. Is there a chance I can buy you one tomorrow?

Shit. Of course he’s texting her.

And of course he’s being nice.

The man knows exactly how to be an ass. Can’t he be one of those right now?

Can’t she not want to text him back?

Emma Swan: I feel like I should be the one buying you one since I was so bitchy today.

Killian Jones: I wouldn’t say that.

Killian Jones: Because I think you’d murder me if I did.

Killian Jones: And also because it’s not true.

Emma snorts into her wine, taking another sip, and then leaning forward to put the glass on her coffee table.

Emma Swan: It was true. You can say it.

Killian Jones: I’d rather you not kick my ass. You could do it anyways, but training already beat me down today. I’m in a weakened state.

Emma Swan: That bad, huh?

Killian Jones: It was like I ran for six hours without stopping while also having to climb over obstacles and have men my own age yelling at me while twenty-one years old just ran by with no hesitations.

She laughs again before stretching back onto the couch. She should crawl back into bed and get herself comfortable, let herself fall asleep, but this is pretty comfortable too.

Killian Jones: But I love it.

Emma Swan: Yeah?

Killian Jones: It’s awful, but I also feel like I have a purpose, you know? I’ve wanted this for so long.

Emma’s heartrate picks up, and she closes her eyes and drops her phone to her chest. She doesn’t know. She doesn’t have some kind of great want that’s driven her life. She’s always been a foster kid, someone who isn’t sure what’s coming around the corner, and even when she aged out of the system, she still didn’t know. There was Neal and jail and…he ruined her life. Neal ruined her fucking life. He took away her choice for her life, and even though she’s doing okay now, she could be doing better. It’s not something she wants to think about because a decade has gone by since then, since he abandoned her like most everyone else has, but rarely a day goes by where he doesn’t come up in some way.

But really, it hasn’t been a decade. It’s been three years since he showed up at her apartment door, finding her somehow, and acted like not a day had gone by, like he hadn’t done this awful thing to her and like she must still love him.

She didn’t then.

She doesn’t now.

Neal will always be her first love and the person who loved her first, and what a shame that is.

That’s why she missed her shoot that day. Mary Margaret had been pissed, had gotten angry with Emma for maybe the first time ever, but then she’d sobbed into Mary Margaret’s shoulder as everything in her life felt like it was falling apart.

Again.

And here she is letting Neal worm his way into her thoughts again, into her life. He’s not around anymore. She doesn’t know what he’s doing with his life, and he really doesn’t deserve to occupy so much space. She’s been doing it for years, wearing these pretty white dresses at least once a week and pretending to be someone who could even think about getting married when it’s never been what she wanted, not after him.

Not even with Graham.

Maybe one day she’ll figure out how to move on completely and how to leave Neal in the past where he belongs.

She’s got to get out of this headspace before she drinks herself into an oblivion, so she opens her eyes and looks back at her phone. No one can see her face or hear her thoughts, and even if she is absolutely terrified of Killian Jones, he’s the only thing that’s making her feel remotely safe right now.

Emma Swan: I’m happy for you!

Killian Jones: Thank you, love.

Killian Jones: Did I tell you about the guy who is now wearing an eye patch because of an unfortunate fall on the rope climb?

Emma Swan: This sounds like the beginning of a really bad high school soap opera.

Killian Jones: Oh, but it’s even better than that.

Killian tells her the story, as well as several others from his first few weeks at the Academy, and Emma distracts herself with it, finding that it’s easy to get lost in Killian’s stories. Even texting, he has a way with words that has her easily being swept up into the conversation so that her lips tug at the corners and there’s a smile permanently press into her skin. He’s funny and charming and he deals with her shit even when he shouldn’t. He should run away and never look back.

The thought causes her breath to hitch and her chest to pang and…

Maybe Ruby was right. Maybe she does have a thing for Killian.

Oh shit.

-/-

-/-

Tag list: @xemmaloveskillianx​ @therealstartraveller776​ @stahlop @shardminds @carpedzem @captainsjedi  @galaxyzxstark @thejollyroger-writer @kmomof4 @tiganasummertree @xellewoods @idristardis @karenfrommisthaven @shireness-says @scientificapricot @captswanis4vr @a-faekindagirl @ultimiflos @jamif @dreameronarooftop15 @nikkiemms @resident-of-storybrooke  @bmbbcs4evr @onceuponaprincessworld @jennjenn615 @mayquita @teamhook @kmomof4 @ekr032-blog-blog @superchocovian @ultraluckycatnd @cs-forlife @andiirivera @qualitycoffeethings @jonirobinson64 @mariakov81 @spartanguard @snowbellewells  @onepunintendid​ @bluewildcatfanatic​

[yourlocalenglishmajor]

Commonplace Book

Hello everyone! This is my first post on this blog, and it is going to be a project for my college English course! Feel free to read through it if you’re interested; if not, that’s okay, this is really just for my professor ^^

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Piece 1: “Big Guns, Small Dicks”

Unfortunately, this piece does not have a specific author or creator; I found it on State Street in Madison last summer. It is an anonymous piece of graffiti that speaks to the movement it was created during. For those who may be less familiar with Madison, Wisconsin, it is considered a very liberal and even leftist city, especially with how frequent and powerful the Black Lives Matter protests were. This was created during those protests, as well as hundreds of other works all along historic State Street. As ACAB - All Cops Are Bastards - protests went hand in hand (usually) with BLM protests, the phrase “Big guns, small dicks” is a jibe at the police and its racist foundations and use of excessive force.

It best relates to class through the conversations about race and equity we’ve had. Our readings have been centered around a diverse cast of authors instead of the one viewpoint of the cisgender, heterosexual white man, which is something the BLM movement also aimed to achieve. In addition, although it has not been a focal topic yet, we have talked about police brutality and how it impacts POC most; another key point of the BLM movement. Lastly, we talked about what mythic America, or the American Dream, really is, and why it is never realized for so many people. The Black Lives Matter movement is all about how the American Dream is something almost no one can truly achieve, and how it leads to othering and a sense of disillusionment with the effectiveness of our society.

Piece 2: Vonnegut’s Slapstick

For my second piece, I chose to utilize a work of a famous satire writer to draw comparisons to our coursework. As for the image, I took a picture of the copy I own and edited it. Kurt Vonnegut’s Slapstick centers around two twins who are geniuses together, but entirely stupid on their own; they are neglected by their parents, who are a family of renown and ashamed of having deformed children. Their parents look at them as if they are to be pitied for the very nature of their existence. They use this to sneak around and live lives of luxury, continuing this ruse of being entirely stupid so that they may live as freely as possible in their circumstances. 

In this work, the children are quite literally tossed in a house and locked away to prevent others from seeing them; this is something I personally connect to the concept of silencing, which happened frequently during the BLM movement. Protesters, peaceful or not, were arrested; protests were escalated by cops far more often than by protesters, but that was generally ignored and used as a way to disregard the protests as nothing more than “riots”; large platforms such as Twitter and Instagram incorrectly labelled some posts as “misinformation”. Voices were silenced all over the internet. In addition, some white allies were not using their platforms to actually help/spread information, but were using them to spew white guilt and accomplish very little. As L. Ayu Saraswati says in her textbook Introduction to Women’s, Gender & Sexuality Studies, Interdisciplinary and Intersectional Approaches, “Guilt as a response to...racism...does very little to contribute to efforts toward social change as it recenters whiteness” (page 15), basically saying yes, these folks are speaking their mind and are at least partially aware of their privilege, but their feelings of guilt without taking action are not actually doing anything to help what they feel guilty for.

Piece 3: The Hymn to Demeter

My last selection will be an ancient work known as the Hymn to Demeter, and the version I am using is translated by Gregory Nagy. I am using this statue of Demeter and Persephone as the visual accompaniment to this analysis. This piece was originally written to be performed orally by a poet/performer as praise to Demeter. It details the kidnapping of Persephone, Demeter’s daughter, and the subsequent founding of the Cult of Demeter in the city Eleusis. 

When Persephone is first kidnapped, it is said that “she cried with a piercing voice, / Calling upon her father, the son of Kronos, the highest and the best. / But not one of the immortal ones, or of human mortals, / heard her voice” (lines 20-23). To me, this draws clear parallels with the silencing of victims of police brutality and their families. Public outrage did nothing to bring accountability to Breonna Taylor’s killers or the flawed justice system that let them get away with it. The victim’s family was silenced and the movement to convict her killers has died down since it happened almost a year ago. 

Additionally, it is later revealed to Demeter through Rhea that this kidnapping was not only endorsed by but planned by Zeus himself. As Greek households were patriarchal, it was not uncommon for a father to arrange a relationship/marriage without informing the daughter or allowing the daughter to meet her betrothed first. This endorsed act of violence can also be paralleled to the actions of the police; their brutality is actively supported by a flawed, racist justice system, just as the actions of Hades were actively supported by the all-powerful Zeus. What’s more, nobody stood up to Zeus or questioned his actions because of all the power he has, which is another perfect example of how this parallel functions.

Lastly, Demeter’s pure rage and grief is reminiscent of the rage and grief of the black mothers who lost their children to police brutality. Last semester, I attended a Theater of War performance known as “Antigone in Ferguson”, and after the performance was over, there was a discussion led by a panel of educators and victims of police brutality. Several of them were mothers who told painful stories of how their children, usually sons, were murdered and how they are still trying to find a way to keep living. Their powerful grief is parallel to Demeter’s; the only difference is that Demeter gets her child back.

A Meta-Commentary

My process in finding these works and deciding which would draw the best parallels was to find a bunch of subjects I thought would work well and then cut down on them. I knew the “big guns, small dicks” would be included for sure, as it was an image I took myself and had good parallels to draw right off the bat. It’s a good way to catch someone’s attention! And the message is powerful. Seeing all the graffiti on State Street last summer was impactful, but this simple phrase stood out to me and was (I believe) the only picture I took out of all the graffiti down there. The Kurt Vonnegut work I included because I like the comparison between how the twins are treated in the book and how folks who were active and open about their opinions were silenced; also, I’d be lying if I failed to mention that part of the reason is because I adore Kurt Vonnegut and wanted to find a way to bring a work of his into this. My third choice, the Hymn to Demeter, was chosen because it’s a cool way to connect one of my other classes to this one. In addition, it’s a good piece to reinterpret as an allegory for how the justice system enables the wrong people and fails the right ones.

Also, although I did not choose many direct quotes, I think the parallels I drew between the content of these works is substantial! I put a lot of thought into how I worded things and what content actually related best to the works of this class, specifically the themes we’ve discovered so far in Claudia Rankine’s Citizen. The heaviness of the book relates well to the power behind each of these pieces, especially the first one, as the message is plain and simple but impactful. The prose and structure of Rankine’s work is incredibly unique and not directly paralleled in any of the pieces I chose; however, the Hymn to Demeter is written in a very specific structure that is almost poetry? It’s a very confusing structure, because it does not seem to have any meter or consistency, but is still patterned in a specific way. This may be a result of translation, it may have been intentionally created this way by the original writer (who is not known; the transcript of this hymn was found in a stable in Moscow in 1777), or it could be a byproduct of the format itself as a hymn. The repetition Rankine takes advantage of in Citizen is actually something Vonnegut is known for as well. Several of his works have anaphoric phrases; Slaughterhouse V has both “po-tee-weet” and “and so it goes”, and Slapstick has the comedic “hi-ho”, used as a way to break the tension of the work, as it is supposed to be satire. This repetition and the more casual grammar these authors both share give their works a heavy feeling (cut far more frequently in Vonnegut’s than in Rankine’s) that also works as a conversational element, making both of the works feel like the audience is also in the narrative itself.

Commonplacing is a valuable step in making powerful literature more accessible to people! Providing unique and interesting analysis of a work makes it much easier for people to casually consume! Additionally, using platforms like Tumblr for this analysis makes things even more accessible, as anyone can see it and Tumblr allows posts to be any length! Opening thoughtful literature and analysis to the public like this also allows for good, guided conversation on a variety of subjects, and creates interest for the works in their entirety. This can easily inspire people to pick up a copy of their own of any of these works if someone is interested enough in how these can be interpreted! (If any of you are interested in the Hymn to Demeter, I used the one found at this website , it’s free ^-^)

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A big thank you to any of you who read this all the way through (including you, professor)! I’ll be doing more fun and less serious literary analysis on this account as well, so if that’s something you’re interested in, stay tuned!

[vivalamusicaltheater]

Types of art reposters, ranked by how much I personally hate them

Hey so I haven’t personally had art reposted bc I’m a small artist and not that good in terms of technique yet (this isn’t self deprecation, just an acknowledgment that I’m not that great at anatomy and lighting and shading and such yet), but I see art reposters all the time on Instagram and (occasionally, not actually that often) here, and I’ve seen the negative effects art reposts have on other artists and I’m big mad about them, so I decided to make this list. This is gonna be a long post so if you want to be salty with me (or genuinely don’t know why I think art reposting is bad and want to find out) just know that this is gonna be fairly long.

Disclaimer (and I know this may seem obvious so I’m sorry to everyone who already knows but I feel like I have to put this here because I’ve actually seen people confused about this): reposting is not the same as reblogging. Reblogging is a function on tumblr (the little black arrows in a square right next to the like button at the bottom of posts) where you can share an artist’s work to your blog. Reblogging is good because it provides an artist with more exposure, as you probably have people following you that don’t follow them, so the more people who reblog someone’s art the more people see it and the more attention the artist is able to get, and because reblogged art provides a direct link to the original post and the artist’s blog. This way if someone likes an artist’s work they can go directly to the artist’s blog and see if they have more work they like. Reposting (saving someone’s art to your device and uploading it to one of your accounts) is bad because it takes away that direct link to the original artist. This means that is is way harder for the original artist to gain exposure for their art and often leads them to be discouraged when they see a repost of their art that got way more attention than the original, which can make them a lot less motivated to make more art. That out of the way, time to rank reposters.

13) People who directly tag/provide a direct link to the artist and provide proof that the artist allowed them to repost their work/that they allow all their work to be reposted

I don’t actually hate you if you do this. I don’t really understand why you’d want to repost someone’s art instead of just reblogging it or putting a link on your Instagram story, or retweeting it if you’re on Twitter, but by directly linking to the artist and showing that you asked them about it or know for a fact that they’re okay with it, you’ve shown that you respect the time and effort they put into their work so thank you for being a decent human being.

12) People who directly tag/provide a direct link to the artist

Ok so you didn’t actually ask permission (or at least if you did you didn’t let anyone know that you did) so I don’t respect you as much as the people who do ask for permission to repost artwork, but at least you did provide a direct link to the artist so you’re not as bad as you could be.

11) People who provide the artist’s correct username and what platform they’re on but don’t directly link to the artist

Again, good that you provided their username and where to find them, but because you didn’t directly link to the artist, many people will just be lazy and like your post and move on, or like your post because they don’t have whatever social media the artist is on. This takes away notes that should go to the original artist, which frustrates me. I don’t flat out hate you but you’re on thin f*cking ice

10) People who provide the artist’s correct username but don’t specify what platform they’re on

Hey if you do this, especially if you post art that was originally found on another platform, it makes it significantly harder to find the original artist. People are even more likely to just like your post and go on with their days instead of checking out the original artist. This barely counts as credit and you have got to do better.

9) People who credit the wrong person

Usually when people do this it’s an accident, so I don’t hate you nearly as much as some of the other people on this list, but not taking the time to make sure the information about the artist you provided is correct is lazy and shows you don’t respect their work as much as you should. By the way, if you credited the wrong person on purpose so the original artist wouldn’t find out you were reposting, I hate you a LOT more.

8) People who ask the original artist for permission to repost their artwork but don’t actually wait for them to say yes before doing it

If you do this it’s clear that you are entitled and asked the artist for permission not because you actually cared about their answer but because you wanted to be able to say that you asked for permission. It’s clear that you don’t actually respect artists, and I hate you.

7) People who credit the right person but purposefully put a / right after the @ sign so it doesn’t actually tag the original artist

The only reason I don’t hate you for doing this is if the original artist knows you’re reposting their work but specifically said they don’t want to be tagged because they don’t want to deal with the notifications or something like that. If that’s not the reason than you’re likely just doing that so the original artist doesn’t get a notification that they were tagged in a post and thus doesn’t see that you reposted their work. That’s cowardly you’re a coward and a loser and I hate you.

6) People who don’t credit at all, but don’t claim to be the original artist and it’s obvious they’re not

If you don’t even bother to try to credit the artist then it shows you don’t care enough about their labor and just expect an endless supply of art that you can repost and get thousands of notes for even though you didn’t go through the effort of drawing it. I hate you with a passion. Credit artists you sack of sh*t.

5) People who say “credit to the artist!” or “credit to google/pinterest” or “I don’t know who made this but dm me if you do!”

Listen. The fact that you’re only my 5th most hated type of art reposter is not because I don’t hate you on an ASTRONOMICAL level, but because there are (unfortunately!) people who repost in worse ways than you do. “Credit to the artist!” is NOT actually giving credit to the artist because you’re not telling your followers who the artist is!! It’s not credit if you don’t specifically name who it came from!! I see this so much and I hate it I hate you if you do this. Similarly, “credit to Pinterest/google/some other website!” is not credit either!! A website did not draw that art, a person did and I will drop kick you off a cliff for refusing to acknowledge that!! Finally, and I think you can probably see where this is going, “I don’t know who made this but dm me if you do!” is, you guessed it, not crediting the original artist! The fact that you are so lazy as to not find the original artist but you also ask your followers to do it for you? Unbelievable!! The level of entitlement!! And these happen so much!!! I hate you I hate you I hate you.

4) People who repost work from artists who have specifically stated that they don’t allow reposts or who refuse to take down reposted work after the original artist asks them to

If you respect artists so little that you repost their work knowing they don’t want you to or refuse to take down their work after they ask you to, you are a horrible person. That art does not belong to you, you did not take the time to make it, and I HATE you so much for thinking you’re entitled to it. “Well then they shouldn’t have posted it on the internet -” shut UP that’s how they choose to share their talent! Art is art even if it’s not displayed anywhere, but artists who post their art on the internet are kind enough to share their talents with the world. Maybe the artist put their work on the internet so that they can find people interested in commissioning them, which helps provide them with funds that could be necessary to their survival. Or maybe art is something they do for fun that they could very well stop doing because of people like you who feel like they own sh*t just because it was posted on the internet (hint: posting artwork on the internet does not equal consent for everyone to use it)! I hope you have a sh*tty life. I hate you.

3) People who say “I’m not gonna credit, what are you going to do about it?”

If you do this, you’re most likely a troll, and most DEFINITELY an awful awful human being. If I met you in real life I would actually physically fight you regardless of whether I thought I could win or not because I hate you that much. Step on a rusty nail and learn basic respect for people’s time and effort. I hate you. (Also, if the original artist finds out what you’re doing they can at least file for copyright and hopefully get their work taken down. If you’re an artist whose work has been reposted by someone like this I’m deeply sorry for you and hope these reposters get all the sh*tty things they deserve in life).

2) People who pretend to be the original artist even though they’re not

They say imitation is the highest form of flattery, but definitely not in this case. If you have the AUDACITY to take credit for the work someone else put their time and effort into and accept all the praise and attention that the original artist should be getting, I hate you so unvelievably much. How is it possible to be that awful of a person? You are stupid and I hope you lose your job or something else similarly awful. (Again artists if you have ever experienced this I’m so so sorry for you).

1) People who repost art for the sole purpose of making fun of it

Congratulations, if you do this you are the worst asshole on this list of huge f*cking assholes. Not ONLY are you creating all the usual problems that come with reposting but you ALSO have the nerve to call someone’s art bad?! There is a SPECIAL place in hell for you. Likely if you do this you also make fun of marginalized people or kids, as most “bad art” blogs feature lgbt+ artwork done by lgbt+ people, or art of people of color, or children’s ocs that have like rainbow hair and vampire fangs and wings or something. I don’t CARE how bad you think their anatomy is and I don’t CARE if they have the “calarts art style” or “tumblr art style” the fact that you are taking the time to repost something somebody spent time on and criticize it is despicable and I hate you more than I hate anyone else besides bigoted people. I also don’t care if you think it’s a “joke”, if the original creator of the art ever found your repost it could be really harmful to their self esteem, and could cause them to stop making art, which means they’ll never have a chance to get “better”. Doing this is a personal attack on someone’s passion and I hate you so incredibly much for it. If you want art that you think is good so bad then f*cking make it yourself. What’s that? Oh you don’t make art you just think you could do better even though you’ve never drawn in your life/you just know what “good art” is? Sit down and shut the f*ck up. I hate you.

(Disclaimer #2: this category obviously does not extend to things like art that is racist or transphobic or anything like that. There’s a difference between calling out something that is genuinely harmful and mocking artists for drawing things that make them happy. The former is good the latter is bad.)

Anyways that is my list of art reposters ranked by how much I hate them! If you are any of these kinds of art reposter besides 13, 12 and maybe 11, then congratulations I hate you and hope you have an awful day!

[batwynn]

Basic tips on handling Harassment/Bullying on Tumblr

Anyway, here is some basic advice for people handling harassment on this site in particular. Please remember that, with any advice, there can be flaws. This is based on my personal experiences, and is not a uniform way to handle this for every situation or person.

Before we even get to numbering some tips, I personally want to tell you that whatever bullying or harassment is going on is NOT YOUR FAULT and if you don’t feel equipped to handle this situation at all, please immediately reach out to a parent/guardian, an authority figure, a therapist, a more equipped friend, etc. Please try to someone who can help you. You shouldn’t have to handle this on your own. And if you can’t find someone or just don’t have anyone, I’m around a good part of the day and I’ll reply to messages within 1-3 hours at the most during the day and within 12 or so hours if you contact me at night. (I’m at Eastern Standard Time) I will do my best to advise you or even just be an ear for you. If I can’t help, I will direct you to the best person I know of who can. 

To friends of those being harassed or bullied:  Please try to keep an eye on your friends in general, and reach out (If you can) if you see bullying posts or see them responding to cruel anons. They might not know you can or will help, or might feel isolated and forced to try to handle the situation on their own. If you feel that you can help, even just to support them, then please reach out. It’s important, though, to remember that if you don’t know how to help, it’s okay to say that and direct them to someone else. If you aren’t in a place where you can help, it’s okay to say that. It’s better to let them know this, so they can find someone else to speak to about it.

Content warning: Mentions of suicidal thoughts, bullying, harassment, DOXXING.

Basic tips on handling harassment on Tumblr:

1: I know a lot of advice tells you to isolate yourself, lest you give a bully any opportunity to harass you. I always disliked this kind of advice, but I also sometimes use this advice when I don’t feel mentally or physically able to handle any kind of negative situation at the time. If you are not in a position to deal with potential cruel anons, I highly recommend you turn off the anon option in your inbox. Your friends and kind people are typically more likely to send you messages with their account showing. Even if this lowers your chances of receiving anonymous nice messages, it also protects you from a lot of potential hate messages. Most bullies love to hide behind anonymity, and will abuse this function to no end. If you aren’t prepared to handle that (as I advise later), you should keep it off until you are. I know this is technically a form of limiting yourself, but this is meant more as a ‘take care of your mental health first’, then see where you’re at and turn it on when you feel ready. The anon feature can be really great, when it’s used for positive things or people asking for help/advice while keeping themselves protected. But it’s important to remember that you are the only one who can gauge what you are comfortable with or prepared to handle. [IE: I’ve had a lot of people talking about wanting to die in anon messages, and if that’s triggering to you that can be bad but also: Unless you’re a professional in the field of mental health, this isn’t a situation you are really equipped to deal with.]

2: Dealing with Pile-Ons or multiple/single cruel anon messages. These happen a lot. Far too often, to be honest. A lot of us have been in this situation, and some of us have been on the piling side of the situation. Ever see a bad take on here and feel the urge to message them directly to let them know it’s a bad take? Yeah, a lot of people have felt that way, and a lot actually follow through. Now, even if this person is saying really awful stuff, what you’re doing is technically taking part in a Pile-On. I’m not saying you’re wrong to disagree or let this person know that what they’re saying is harmful or bad, but don’t be fooled into thinking you’re the only one messaging them. 

Now, being on the other side of this, especially when you didn’t say anything harmful and people are just being awful (Or, for example, you accidentally say something that isn’t correct and instead of one or two people politely letting you know that you’re wrong so you can change, the entire website decides you must die.) it just really stinks. It’s stressful beyond belief, it’s really hard to manage, and sometimes it can go on for years. (See: a certain artist in a certain TV show fandom I won’t mention.) This is a bit of a process, and a lot of it might feel like you’re giving up or giving them some kind of ‘win’, but that’s not what it is. 

Part A: Take a moment to stop the head-spinning anxiety of a sudden mass-assault. It’s a LOT, and it can be seriously damaging to even the thickest-skinned individuals. Take a step back, close Tumblr, take some deep breaths, find someone to talk to about the situation, or go to safe space where you can relax for a moment. IMPORTANT: Please don’t be afraid to reach out to a parent/guardian, friends, etc to handle the situation for you. If you trust someone with your information or account, it’s okay to let them take these steps for you. You are NOT weak for doing this. 

Part B: Block IP addresses of anon bullies. First and foremost, always remember you can block people. It might seem like a form of ‘giving in’ or whatever, and maybe the ragelords of the internet like to chortle and cheer when they get blocked by someone they’re harassing, but honestly that’s more an act than actual happiness that they’re blocked. They aren’t happy you cut them off mid-rant. They aren’t happy they can’t hurt you anymore. You stopped them from reaching you, and now they are forced out of their comfortable space where they can sit there and harass you all day long. They actually have to DO something else, either harass someone else (unfortunately) or find another way to reach you (unfortunately part 2). A lot of these people do stop after they are blocked, especially when you block their IP address. (Which is what happens when you block an anon person harassing you.) You can find this option under the anon message as three dots in your inbox on the computer ONLY. (mobile does not have this option, only ‘delete’.) I highly recommend you do this early on, especially if you’re dealing with a ‘pile-on’ situation. Because each anon could be one person, or five. Blocking the anon IP address will cut down on a wave of messages from a single person, and give you a chance to start working on the next person.

Note: You CAN report harassment in your inbox, but they usually only do something if they’re harassing you off anon. (I never had any luck reporting anon messages in the past. Idk if this has changed.) If they are harassing you with their account visible, go to ‘Reporting’ below, and follow the report directions.

If you want to engage, for whatever reason you want to, I still highly recommend you block them. For engagement, I suggest taking a screen shot of the message(s) before blocking and making a response post. This way they have no way to respond or even see the content, and you can say whatever you wish in response to the harassment if you wish to. This does not stop them from getting friends to share the content with them, or making another account on another IP address to continue to harass you. I would generally not encourage engaging, but I also can’t honestly say not to when I have done so, myself. I understand the urge, I understand wanting to get your side out there or to explain yourself. It’s your right to. But always try to consider the situation before doing so. 

Part C: Moving forward. Depending on the reason why the pile-on started, sometimes taking a break from Tumblr can really help. Once people get their rage out, or scroll past the post, a lot of the time they move on. [I can 100% say that this is NOT ALWAYS THE CASE] This, again, is a difficult situation that doesn’t really have one simple trick to handle. Some cases end up being so bad that people have had to contact the police, and some are handled after reporting accounts to the Tumblr staff. Some people simply delete the ‘offending post/comment’ and move on, and some people post an amendment in a lot of cases of accidental miss-information. Honestly, it’s really up to you how you handle the ‘cause’ itself, but in regards to anon messaging, it’s typically best to simple block their IP address and not engage. 

3: How to report harassing blog posts. Is someone posting ‘receipts’ or screen shots of your content on their blog and writing nasty rants about you? This is a case of ick that I really hate dealing with, because it typically means relying on Tumblr staff which are… notoriously unhelpful, in some cases. (See: Why Are There Still Millions of Nazis On This Site?) In this case, make sure you can still access their blog and see their content. If they have blocked you, ask a friend to help you or make a second account simply to get the post link for a report. You can find this link under the post in the feed with the ‘arrow’ looking button under the post. You want the ‘Permalink’. You might also need screen shots of the posts, so try to grab those as well as the direct link to the post. At this point, you will need to venture into the Tumblr reporting area, which is  often changing and half the time you can’t find it, so depending on when you see this post, it might be best to check this out yourself. 

On the computer: Use this form: https://www.tumblr.com/abuse

(You can also use this form if you sign in on Tumblr on Safari/GoogleChrome on your phone.)

On mobile: Go to Account—>General Settings—>Report Abuse—>I’m being harassed (or whichever option seems more appropriate)

From there they will advise you on blocking and other advice on how to handle it without them getting involved. If these work for you, great! If not, continue to: ‘If the block feature has not solved this issue, you can report here.’ Be ready with your links, if there are any, or select the ‘being harassed in inbox’ option if you are receiving harassing messages in your inbox. They will email you an automated response almost immediately, in most cases, and you will probably have to wait around a week for an actual response depending on the situation and if they’re busy or whatever the staff are doing at the time. Until then, I highly recommend you block the person harassing you, if only to cut off their access to your content.

4: DOXXING. What is it? This is when your personal information is sought out, collected, then posted publicly for all to see. It’s an incredibly dangerous thing to happen to you, especially if you are a minor or in any situation where that information could be used against you. (So basically all the time.) It’s also so overwhelming and scary that a lot of the time it can simply shut you down. 

IMPORTANT REMINDER 1: If your life is in immediate danger, remove yourself from the address/space that was revealed and contact the police as soon as possible.

IMPORTANT REMINDER 2: If you do not feel equipped to handle this situation, please do not feel like you can’t ask for help! 

The first thing I’ve seen a lot of DOXXED people do is get the post(s) with the information taken down as fast as possible. In this case, Tumblr, Twitter, Facebook staff are usually quicker to respond and assist with removing the post, especially if you are a minor. On Tumblr, use this form: https://www.tumblr.com/abuse 

If you are a minor, at this point I highly recommend you speak to a parent or guardian or someone with authority about what’s going on. They will need to know if this information is out, and how to handle your safety at home or any location that was disclosed. A lot of cases involve the police at one point or another, so, unfortunately, be ready to sit there and be asked a bunch of questions. 

An important part of handling this situation, if and when you have the post(s) taken down, is making sure your information is secure. This means checking potential sources, data leaks (You can use several sites to find if your info has been leaked, but CreditKarma offers a basic service for this. They basically let you know if you have an email or password that’s been released.) possible friends or family who were spoken to, old profiles that weren’t set to private, etc. Finding the source is a good way to stop the leak of information. Unfortunately, it doesn’t stop the person who already HAS the information. This is when it gets tricky, because in most cases simply reporting the person doesn’t tend to stop them. Their account can be removed, they can be blocked from sites, etc. But if they’re really determined, they can make other accounts and get that information out there. This is, again, really when the police should be involved. 

At this point, a lot of professionals suggest locking down accounts and phone numbers that have been released. I know this might feel like giving in, and that they ‘win’, but this is really more about your safety and mental security than anything else. If you can, use a backup account to talk to friends/family/etc and to keep an eye on the situation if you feel up to the task.  

5: Continued harassment spread across the net. If the harassment continues outside of this site: Start by blocking and reporting on other sites and see if that helps first. At this point, though, it’s a good idea to consider talking to an adult (if you’re a minor) and consider the possibility of contacting the police. Most importantly, don’t listen to anyone tell you that because this is the internet, it’s not having real consequences on you. This is serious, and they need to treat it seriously.

Contacting the police or a person of authority is kind of a daunting experience for anyone, but it can be especially hard when we’re told from all angles that ‘whatever is on the internet isn’t real’. That we can just block and ignore it, and go on with our lives. So, I’m saying this right now: I can’t promise the person of authority that you contact will take this seriously. I simply can’t promise that, because I don’t know what they are like or what the believe.

But if the bullying/harassment is damaging you, if it is going on too long, if it’s spreading across social media platforms, if they’re sharing your personal information, if they’re threatening you in ANY way, if you feel unsafe, if you feel suicidal, if you can’t get it to stop: Please find someone and contact them.

[thearkhound]

1998 Metal Gear Solid art commentary from Yoji Shinkawa (revised translation)

Source:http://web.archive.org/web/20050109031649/http://www.konamijpn.com:80/products/metalgear/art/index.html

The following is a translation of various artwork commentary by Metal Gear Solid illustrator Yoji Shinkawa that were posted on the game’s official Japanese website on July 9, 1998. These pages remained online until 2008, when Konami decided to relaunch the website in order to promote the digital download release of the game on the PlayStation Store.

I posted an earlier translation of these blog posts on March 8 of this year (2019) that was missing most of the illustrations being described, since the image files were not archived. I’ve since found the missing image files on another website and took the liberty of revising my translation to fix mistakes or clarify certain statements. I’ve tried to edit the original blog post, but for some reason tumblr didn’t allow me to upload any new images, so I decided to delete it and post the revision as a new blog post.

I’ve also found the images of the scratch Metal Gear REX model sculpted by Yoji Shinkawa that were uploaded on the official site, but unfortunately they were watermarked by a fansite that copied them back in the day. With that said, it’s still better than nothing, so I added them at the end of this blog poster.

Unfortunately, I still haven’t found any of the photos used on the seventh blog post, so that will still remain untranslated for the time being.

Interviewer: First of all, it’s a pleasure to talk to you Mr. Shinkawa.

Shinkawa: Please to meet you too.

Interviewer: I’ll start by asking about the game’s protagonist Solid Snake. What kind of details were you paying attention to when designing his character.

Shinkawa: Well I talked about this before in Konami Magazine Vol. 2, but there were two Metal Gear games prior to this one, so I struggled to find a balance between them. The Snake in the original Metal Gear looked like a young musclebound guy, while in Metal Gear 2 he was more of a bitter middle-aged man. This time Mr. Kojima’s image of Snake was one of having a tough and athletic body like Jean-Claude Van Damme combined with the middle-aged nature of someone like Christopher Walken. As a result, he became something of a middle ground between the two.

Interviewer: I see. What was your work after Snake’s image was decided on?

Shinkawa: The truth is I had trouble designing his costume. At the beginning I was thinking of a conventional military uniform in blue urban camo. But then I thought it might had been a bit too careless to have Snake swim underwater wearing such a uniform. Since the story takes place in the near future, he ended up wearing a costume made of leather and waterproof material.

Interviewer: It’s an amazing attention to detail that you kept in mind Snake’s infiltration route when designing his costume. So there’s a scene where Snake is underwater? What happens if the Ninja lands in a pond or something?

Shinkawa: What would happen? Huh... He would spark up and then yell something like “Water! My weakness!” (laugh) Just kidding.

Interviewer: (laughs) I guess not.

Shinkawa: It’s hard to know when it comes to Mr. Kojima though...

Interviewer: Don’t worry about it. By the way, is there any behind-the-scenes stories about the game’s development.

Shinkawa: Yes. It’s not much of an inside story, but I drew Ninja in a train.

Interviewer: During a train ride?

Shinkawa: Yes, I drew him while riding a commuter train. I was stationed at Osaka at the time. Most of the people there not friendly, so I would spent time observing the college girls.

Interviewer: That’s pretty nice.

Shinkawa:I guess so. But the friendliness here is good though. But Tokyo doesn’t have such a thing, so it feels a bit lonely. How I should say this, but there’s something that could be described as “enjoying the reaction of people watching in my direction” that could be seen not just over there, but here too.

Interviewer: So that’s how you train your sense of observation!

Shinkawa: No, that’s not what I meant. (laughs)

Interviewer: Is there a type of woman that you like?

Shinkawa: I wonder about that.

Interviewer: I’m sorry, that was such a trite question. Let me rephrase that. Is there a particular celebrity that you like?

Shinkawa: I guess I have no choice. My type would be someone like Shinobu Nakayama.

Interviewer: Is that so? Personally I’m a fan of Yuki Uchida if you’re curious to know...

Shinkawa: Yeah, she’s not bad.

Interviewer: Ah!

Shinkawa: Well, let’s put that subject aside. The truth is that the character of Mei-Ling was actually modeled after Nakayama herself. I used to watch her drama series.

Interviewer: Ah! That’s such an interesting thing to learn. Now that you say that, Mei-Ling really does resemble Nakayama looking at her closely, doesn’t she?

Shinkawa: Mei-Ling was written to be a bubbly college girl. She tends heavily to my taste, since she’s in the right age range and has my ideal image.

Interviewer: That’s nice. Having your preferences tied directly to your job.

Shinkawa: It’s not just mine. The character of Dr. Naomi Hunter was made to suit Mr. Kojima’s preferences too.

Interviewer: I see. Huh? At this rate, will you have a type for everyone?

Shinkawa: That wasn’t the intention, but... (laughs)

Interviewer: When was this drawn?

Shinkawa: I think it was around the end of last year. Huh? Around six months ago. Time sure fly quickly! I drew it for a magazine ad.

Interviewer: I heard the Ninja was your idea.

Shinkawa:That’s right. But originally there was a trio. They would say something like “Worya! Trinity Attack!” and they were going to have random kanji characters on their backs such as flame (炎) or horse (馬) without any particular significance.

Interviewer: “Fire” doesn’t seem so unreasonable, but why “horse”?

Shinkawa: I’ve mentioned “horse” as a joke, but that sort of thing happens very often, doesn’t it? When it comes to the image of Japan from a foreign perspective, while the outline is the same, the finer details differ. I like that kind of thing. The finalized design of the Ninja is and isn’t a ninja. If nobody told you he was a ninja, you wouldn’t think of him as one. But if someone points out that he must be a ninja because he has some ninja-like parts if you look at him closely, then you might think of him as one.

Interviewer: Is that so? That’s the Shinkawa magic!

Shinkawa: (laughs) What’s that?

Interviewer: I think I’ve seen this artwork a long time ago.

Shinkawa: It was first published around a year ago.

Interviewer: I see. So why did you draw it like an American comic book?

Shinkawa: Well, in reality I was going for a BD-style. Doesn’t it look like that?

Interviewer: I’m sorry, but what does BD mean?

Shinkawa: It stands for bande dessinée, which is the term for graphic novels in France. It means “sequential art”.

Interviewer: Huh, I did not know. So, is there a particular reason why you chose the BD-style?

Shinkawa: Of course! There is a reason. While talking to Mr. Kojima during the early stages, he said “Alright! Let’s turn Metal Gear into B.D” as a conceptual image. So I drew a few illustrations like that. This one was used as promotional art.

Interviewer: I see. So that’s the reason. And this one was perfect for a promotional artwork. Huh! Why is Gatse Becker [the BCPD chief from Policenauts] there?

Shinkawa: That’s not him. (laughs) It’s the Secretary of Defense [Jim Houseman]... Jeez... (While saying this, Shinkawa’s mouse keeps hovering on Mei-Ling for some reason.)

Interviewer: (nervous face) Uhh... Mei-Ling’s skirt seems awfully short... By the way, will you be able to shake the female characters’ breasts like in Policenauts?

Shinkawa:...That’s classified information!

Interviewer: Well, here’s REX. Is there anything particularly different about this Metal Gear model?

Shinkawa: The Metal Gears in the previous two games had weak legs, so this new version has a strengthened lower body. During the initial planning I came up with several illustrations and settings, but the finalized version was settled pretty quickly.

Interviewer: How so?

Shinkawa: Since it was going to be turned into a polygon model, I made it into an actual model in order to solidify its conceptual image and verify its functions.

Interviewer: Is that so? Please show the model to me.

Shinkawa: Of course! REX was designed purely as a weapon, so it’s not exactly a heroic mecha. I decided on a dinosaur-like design like this one, since it conveyed a scary and grim image.

Shinkawa: There are three types of enemy soldiers shown here. From left to right: we have the light infantry, the heavy infantry and the arctic warfare soldier (nicknamed Yukinko by the developers). There’s also a gas mask-wearing fourth type.

Interviewer: Were you given any sort of references to use?

Shinkawa: I had books and photos that were given to me by Mr. Motosada Mori (MGS’s military advisor).

Interviewer: All the enemy soldiers have their faces covered up. Was that decided because they were terrorists?

Shinkawa: That’s certainly something that could be think of, but there’s actually more important reasons.

Interviewer: Huh? Explain!

Shinkawa: Simply put, we needed to reduce the number of polygons.

Interviewer: Is that really the reason?

Shinkawa: If you want to draw faces on your characters, you have to use quite a few polygons to get them to a satisfactory level, which ends up consuming too much resources. When taking into consideration the game as a whole, you got no choice but to trim certain parts. It’s a shame, but in the end I think the finalized designs suit the enemy soldiers better.

Interviewer: It’s a matter of balancing supply and demand. By the way, I really like the helmet worm by the Heavily Armed Troops. You don’t see them often in the game though.

Shinkawa: Well that helmet is an original design. Like everything, I try to keep things intuitive for game-playing purposes. The enemy soldiers are color-coded from left to right: brown, green and white, plus yellow for the gas mask-wearing soldiers.

Interviewer: There are indeed a variety of schemes. By the way, the arctic warfare soldiers are layered with clothing. Snake spends most of the game in arctic environments, but he isn’t wearing that much. Why is that?

Shinkawa: He’s wearing a high-tech suit.

Interviewer: You said it so bluntly... (laughs) One last nitpicky question. Who does the laundry in the base?

Shinkawa: They use a laundry machine. (laughs)

Metal Gear REX Model Photos

[giantchasm]

1, 8, 9 and 10 for the salty thingy?

1. What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get?

This is the part where I’d say J.oshn.eku, but I’d get anon hate. True story.

Uhhhh I’m not too particularly big on Ed/Winry, Asano/Ren, Homura/Madoka (Bite me) or Kazuma/Bishamon, all of which I know are fairly popular. But I wouldn’t say I “don’t get” any of them. I’m just not super big on them for. Differing reasons.

8. Have you received anon hate? What about?

You want the beans about the J.oshne.ku thing? I’ll SPILL THE BEANS about the fucking J.oshn.eku thing.

I’m gonna put this below the cut (Haha. Below the cut. That’s part of the story) because it’s LONG

Back in the day in the TWEWY fandom, I was a part of the RP community. Mostly a great place! But I... Was 14. I’m not exactly going to call myself a saint, ‘cause I was a total passive aggressive brat, but I was just a kid.

Enter Not-Neku-Kin and Not-Joshua-Kin.

As you can imagine, Not-Neku-Kin and Not-Joshua-Kin roleplay Neku and Joshua. They are borderline kindating. Let’s be real here. 

For the most part, I get along with these two! I don’t like their ship, and make some admittedly VERY IMMATURE comments about not liking their ship, but remember: I was a literal middle schooler. They were over 17 at this point. They were well aware I was 14.

(*As a note here there were some other borderline ableist comments I made here, but they were never once directed at real people, but rather fictional headcanons. I don’t want to go into explicit detail because this involves extreme trauma for me, but it was about a mental illness I have, and never once left the realm of “Ahaha I’m not really comfortable with that headcanon”)

So they have every right to be annoyed by me, but maybe not to make claims of being “traumatized” by me?

Enter the porn.

This is back in the days of yore and Tumblr not being a functioning website. Tumblr did not have a “below the cut” feature! 

Not-Neku-Kin starts roleplaying porn. Fetish porn. (With a fifteen year old character, mind you, but that’s besides the point, uwu) Me and my best friend are deeply uncomfortable with this. Not-Neku-Kin does not put any of this below the cut because “Wah! I’m stuck on mobile!” Despite the fact that they KNEW they had a large amount of minors following them.

This is the part where if they were a mature ass person, they probably would have decided to move their porn to something private like Skype (Once again: This was before Discord. If that puts into perspective how long ago this was), or perhaps passed up roleplaying porn at all until they could properly hide and tag it. Nope! Explicit NSFW on our dashes!

My best friend sent a polite anon something along the lines of “Unfollowing because of the porn. Sorry! ^-^” I don’t remember if it was any more aggressive/passive aggressive than that, because it very well could have been genuinely sort of rude: But remember: Putting uncut porn on the dashboard of a bunch of middle schoolers.

Sometime or another I unfollowed them for a different reason and told them in the public TWEWY roleplay community skype server. They and Not-Joshua-Kin FLIPPED THEIR SHITS. Best friend admitted she sent the anon. They flipped their shits on the both of us and left the server.

We thought that was the last of it. 

No, lmao.

Two or three years later, I make a post ON MY MAINBLOG that’s like “Considering coming back to the TWEWY roleplay community. How active is it?”

Not-Joshua-Kin sends me an anon saying something along the lines of “The TWEWY community doesn’t want you”

OOOOKAY, then.

Around this time one of them (I don’t remember who) also got in contact with a friend of mine (Who can back this up, for the record,) and sent him a VERY passive aggressive anon along the lines of “I like your content, but I’m gonna have to unfollow :/ You reblog from an ableist abuser” (REMEMBER. ONE OF THE REASONS THEY FLIPPED OUT ON US US AN ANON ABOUT UNFOLLOWING)

Obviously when said friend asked they specify he was told it was me (And once again I’m deeply uncomfortable with their willingness to namedrop me like this, alongside seemingly stalking my blog). He got in contact with me and I told him the full story. He was like “Oh, okay.” And that was the end of it.

Two more years later. Now I’m a Senior. This drama went down when I was in 8th grade. These people are like 21 now. The TWEWY remix comes out. The fandom is blooming!

Not-Joshua-Kin makes a fandom discord.

Quite frankly I don’t even realize it’s them. I join. Insta-kicked without any information or contact given as to why. I get in contact with them, realize who they are, and we decide to maturely talk about it like adults.

I write an extremely long apology, both detailing how immature my behavior was at the time, and disclosing some of my very personal trauma behind my actions. I also express worries that they’re smearing my name in the fandom by barring me from spaces like that. 

They reply and say that A) They would never smear my name in the fandom, and would never spread gossip, even if they don’t like me. B) They’re still not sure if they and Not-Neku-Kin are comfortable inviting me in, but they’ll keep me updated.

Radio silence.

They don’t even have the balls to tell me directly “No, I’m not sure I’m comfortable with that.” They downright block me. Okay! That’s comfortable, considering all I just shared with you!

Annoying, but I’ll survive.

Few months later, I learn from ANOTHER friend they HAVE been gossiping about me. And not “some person.” “Sack.” They’re namedropping me in the TWEWY roleplay community, directly calling me annoying and ableist out of context. This is stuff they’re bringing up completely unprompted, too. So alongside being a liar and a gossip, they’re dragging my name across the mud and effectively exiling me from a fandom because I...

A) Didn’t like a ship

B) Didn’t like their one (1) autistic headcanon

C) Am closely associated with someone who told their S/O to stop putting creepy fetish porn on my dashboard in MIDDLE SCHOOL.

That’s EXTREMELY comfortable considering, once again, I really genuinely opened up to this person about my trauma and was 100% willing to try and make a new start with them. But now for all I know they’re STILL actively gossiping about me and sharing my trauma.

De-lightful!

And THAT’S the story of how I got my first anon hate.

9. Most disliked character(s)? Why?

Kazuma can eat my fucking boots.

Additionally I’m not fond of any of the bad guys in Assclass (In particular Yanagisawa, Takaoka, Gakuho, and Hiromi make me VERY uncomfortable), Homura PMMM (Eat shit bitch), or Lusamine Pokemon (Abusers Die Challenge)

10. Most disliked arc? Why?

I don’t think it’s bad persay but the entire mood of the current arc of Noragami makes me so deeply uncomfortable I’m literally having to take a break from reading it. It’s very well written, but seeing the characters take such steps backwards in their arcs makes me feel a little sick.

As for Assclass I... Don’t think the 2.0 arc is excellent. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE Irina and Karasuma’s developments during it, but 2.0 is just suchhhh a bad villain. He’s too OP to the point of bending my suspension of disbelief. It ends up not being fun, and instead just downright FUNNY to read. “How did he do that? Oh my god! DID HE JUST DO SHADOW JUJITSU?” It totally takes you out of it.

[takaraphoenix]

In light of tumblr actually committing suicide, I’m feeling nostalgic and would like to tell you all about my first real online community experience. Because everybody always has their MySpace or LiveJournal stories... and I was never on either of those.

I want to tell you about a site that is called Animexx. And... it changed a lot since I was really active on it and it was by far never perfect, but at its skeletal structure, it’s something I am still seeking out and I genuinely don’t understand why such a type of site doesn’t exist in a broader, English context. Let me rephrase that to make it clearer: It’s a German site... well... there seems to be a .com version that’s actually English, but somehow everything still shows up in German so I don’t know about that. And, as the name might suggest, it is primarily focused on anime/manga/Jpop.

So, this is less of a recommendation and more of a... pitch of my dream online-experience, based on how that site worked, with some side-notes on upgrades. But, at its core, it’s essentially a mixture of DeviantArt, Fanfiction.Net, tumblr and then some more.

(I’ll be talking in past-tense because I haven’t really been on the site in 10 years so I genuinely don’t know what changed and what is still the same.)

Fanworks

Obviously. Only that the site had different partitions for different types of fanworks. Not like tumblr where everything is just one endless pit that you get lost in.

You had fanarts, that were sorted by TV show/movie/book/band/whatever so you could actually go and properly look for them. It’s one of the things I hate about DeviantArt; that you don’t have specific categories to post fanarts under in the same way you’d do it with fics on FFNet/AO3 so you can browse specifically for them. In my ideal world, we would also add a tagging-function like on AO3 for it, including things such as pairing tags and character tags so you could actually find shit easier.

You had fanfiction. WITH a tagging function - just like on AO3. AND you had ONE feature that I AM STILL DEARLY MISSING. Seriously, both FFNet and AO3 make me bemoan the loss of the Character Descriptions.

See, you’d click on the fic and firstly be presented with the fic’s main page. A list of all chapters, the tags, the summary and the stats. And above it are tags.

You can (still, as proven by fresh and new screenshot) upload character profiles, including a picture of the character and a chart with whatever information you want to give - name/age/whatever. Which, particularly in AUs is immensely practical. “Wait what magical creature was that again?”.

And not just that. The tab right next to “Characters”? “Illustrations”. Since the site itself hosts fanarts too, you could directly mark the art you upload as an illutration to a specific fic and they’d then be linked to connect with each other.

Now, granted, their fanfiction system is not perfect - there are a lot of rules/censoring. But this very system? The system of including additional character information and allowing a direct link between a fic and its illustrations? That is perfect. And I miss it very dearly.

And fanfiction and fanarts aren’t where fanworks end. It also had its own doujinshi - comic - site. Because that is also a thing I hate on DeviantArt. If you’re lucky, someone posting a comic will also include a link to the last page in the description. No. On here, comics worked just like fanfiction in that you have it all together. They too are separated into chapters, if the author so pleases, and you can just subscribe to a comic like you’d do to a fanfiction. Seriously, how has this function not reached DeviantArt yet...? This site has had it for literal eighteen years now...

Photos also had their separate sub-site, like cosplay photos and such.

Now, nowadays and with my experience here on tumblr, on an ideal website we would also add a separate GIF-site to it.

Community

For one, your profile is way more elaborate than on... any other site I’ve seen. Aside from many options on what to put on it - like multiple profile pics, multiple tabs on your biography (mostly used to linking to other things... that is actually why my FFNet profile looks the way it does, because that’s how I used to keep it in the olden days, only that I would actually be able to separate the timeline and the updating schedule onto different tags for easier access...).

You also had a guestbook, much like how you can publically comment on people’s profiles on DeviantArt.

It also had a direct link to your personal blog. Which, you don’t have to use obviously, but yeah. There’s also a blogging function.

Of course it also has a private messaging function. Only that it’s actually a good and proper one. I love that FFNet has one, but it sucks because it’s just all clogging up your inbox. No, this site has one that works essentially like your average e-mail account; you can create folders and sort your fucking mail like a civilized person.

Additonally to the private messaging function, there is also a chat on here.

There is also an RPG community. Not like on tumblr where just... everything is everywhere and whatever. It’s neatly separated, just like the fics and fanarts and comics and photos. Everything has its place. Seriously, why are American sites so fucking unorganized, it drives me crazy.

Now, the best part about the community were the Circles. That’s what they were called. They’re forums, really. Clubs, kinda.

You could start one about... whatever. Like, dedicated to a particular ship. And you, as the admin, could then proceed however you want. Public? Or only after applying, meaning that the admin had to let you in. Especially after meeting the phenomenon of antis, I miss this dearly, because... just imagining having a Circle for fans of your “problematic fave” and moderating who gets in - meaning only letting in actual fans of the character - so they can safely post about them there.

Each Circle included multiple forums, however many you want. Say, one generally talking about the ship, one about that chara, one about the other, another about gift exchanges, fic recommendations, or literally whatever you want.

And a Circle could directly link to its members’ fanfiction and fanarts - or well those relevant for the Circle at hand.

Those were really where the sense of community came from. You had your... yeah, your safe space to talk about whatever you loved with other people who also love it. No risk of publically posting about your fave and some dumbass hijacking the post or bullying you about it. You just had your forums inside the Circle and got to talk about what you love.

There is much more that the site had to offer - a direct shop where fanartists could sell merch and printed versions of their comics, an event page where you could easily find fan-events near you (or far away from you, depending on what you’re looking for), heck it even doubled as a dating site - but that just to sum up what I really miss about this site and how it worked.

And I just... I genuinely don’t understand why such a thing, in this day and age of fandom being so huge, doesn’t exist on a broader scale, in a mainly English-speaking context. A site that seamlessly unites the different aspects of fandom - fanarts, fanfiction, fan-comics, community and blogging.

Both DeviantArt and tumblr are a garbage mess, let’s be very clear on that, because they allow absolutely no way of properly and easily accessing only fanworks to one specific fandom. It’s not like sorting into fandoms is a new thing; fanfiction does it even on fucking Fanfiction.Net so why does it seem so wild for non-fanfiction sites to also include such a function...? Not to mention, when talking about those two examples, a proper and neat separation of the different types of fanworks. Yes, a rudimentary system exists, but... not a clear-cut and simple one, for some reason.

For me, who I come from a site that united all sides of fandom so easily and for free, it has always been absolutely beyond me that you need different accounts on different sites for your different fandom-experience - tumblr for blogging, DeviantArt for a half-way good system on fanarts, AO3/FFNet for fanfiction (and yes, I know many just post everything on tumblr, but with how it is indistinguishable when it comes to looking for specific things, this is clearly not what tumblr was really meant to do...).

I just want... one site to unite them all but also do it systematically and not in one hot-mess pile of EVERYTHING where you have to entirely rely on luck and tags, instead of sub-categories of a) types of fanwork and b) fandoms. Seriously, it can’t be that hard and it has literally been around for eighteen years now in Germany. Is it just because we Germans like to be organized, or what...?

And, to end this post: If you actually know such a site, drop me a link. If you feel inspired and make such a site, also drop me a link.

[nubnubblr]

If You Do .1

Masterlist

THEA

"I really don't want to be here," BM whined, for the 100th time since we walked in the door, five minutes ago.  

"We know," Charlie rolled here eyes.

"We've literally been here five minutes," I frowned.

"That's five minutes more than I wanted to be here," he grumbled.

"Dude, seriously," Sam chimed in.

"I'm just going to complain the whole time we're here, you should just let me go home,"

"You'll get bored with complaining eventually," I shrugged.

"No, I won't,"

"It's your money, you're building, and you have to live in it. You should at least have a say in what is bought," I tired to reason.

"Just take my card and get me a comfortable lounge, I don't actually care what it looks like," he held out his credit card waving it around.

"I'm not spending your money without you being here, besides, Sam can't lift things on his own and Charlie and I can't lift things. We need your muscles,"

"You can totally lift things, you actually scare me with your manual labour ability," he frowned.

"Yeah, well, I don't want to, besides we won't fit everything in Charlie's car and she won't let you drive it, so suck it up and enjoy,"

"Yo, what's our budget here?" Sam asked.

"Should we have really brought him here?" I turned to Charlie.

"Even if we hadn't told him, he would have sensed we were coming here, he has an IKEA radar. The amount of time he spends here on his own," she shook her head.

"Like you two in Target are any better," BM frowned.

"We only buy the essentials," I glared.

"You have two fruit bowls," he raised an eyebrow.

"And an empty spice rack for more spices than you two will ever actually use," he added.

"We need two fruit bowls, you boys are over more often than not and always eat our fruit so we have to buy more fruit, thus we need more space to store said fruit. Therefor, we need two fruit bowls. As for our spice rack, it's only empty because it's new and she bakes, and I'm a chef, we need all those spices," I defended.

"Also, shut up," I added.

"You would have made your point so much better if you didn't tell him to shut up," Charlie shook her head.

"The problem with Thea is she keeps talking when she should just stop, especially when she says something stupid, she just carries on, half the time trying to explain what she meant which just makes it worse," Sam stated.

"Shut up Samantha," I frowned.

"You didn't answer my question," Sam turned to BM.

"Just get what we need, beds, lounge, stuff like that," he shrugged.

"You realised he has probably been on Tumblr and the IKEA website, and already planned out the entire space by now, right?" Charlie raised an eyebrow.

"Whatever, the bar is finished and the upstairs bathroom has been paid for,"

BM had bought a building a few months ago and had just finished renovating the ground level from an outdated restaurant into a bar. Something he had been wanting to do since before we were in high school. The building's second floor, I assume use to be used as an office space or possibly a studio apartment seeing as it had a functioning bathroom, if you could call it that. So BM, who had just put basically all of his money into buying and renovating the bar, decided that he would use the office as a living space for him, Sam and our other friend Jae, who's jobs pay little and infrequently. It's a smart plan, except BM hates shopping and they're all currently sleeping on foam mattresses on the floor of the empty space. Which brings us here, to IKEA, which happens to be one of Sam's favourite places.

"Did you just give him a limitless budget?" Charlie frowned.

"God no, the budget is about half of whatever is in my account right now,"

"Only half?"

"Mm, the other half is delegated," BM nodded.

"I guess I'll have to work on a budget," Sam nodded.

"Yeah because you have so much money normally," Charlie pulled a face at him. Sam just mimicked the face she pulled and continued walking, BM shuffled his feet next to me continuing to make it obvious that he didn't want to be here. Because he hadn't made that blatantly clear already.

"Stop sulking, we'll be out of here soon enough," I nudged him.

"No we won't, you brought Sam to IKEA, we're going to be here for hours," he huffed as his phone started ringing.

"Hey bro, what's up?"

"Yeah we're not there, I've been kidnapped and dragged to IKEA with the girls, you've got to come save me... Yeah Sam's here too, the spare key should be in the usual place, just drop your stuff off and come down... Okay, see ya,"

"Jae's on his way,"

SAM

My phone buzzed in my pocket, the other four were bickering about the consistent whining which was just redundant. 'Bianca <3' flashed across the screen, I let out a sigh and slid it back into my pocket. The ringing stopped, and it started ringing again, when it rang for a third time I gave up on ignoring it and answered it.

"Hey," I sighed.

"Hey, I tried calling, where are you?" she asked as if we hadn't spoken less than twenty minutes ago.

"I told you I was going out, we're at IKEA getting some things for the apartment," I answered absently looking through the display room.

"You should have said so, I would have come with you, I know you hate IKEA, and I have killer interior design skills,"  I wouldn't call an entirely orange and pink apartment with tacky miniature statues and leopard print everywhere, killer interior design skills.

"It wasn't planned, it was another one of Thea's spontaneous ideas,"

"Thea," she hummed,

"Is Charlie there too?"

"Thea's here so,"

"Well I'm not doing anything, I'll come and help, you're apartment will need a feminine touch and god knows those girls don't have it,"

"It's okay, we won't be here too long, I'll just come to see you once we're done and we'll go get something to eat or something,"

"I don't mind really, I'll just get changed and be right there,"

"B, really we won't be long,"

"Love you," she chimed before hanging up.

"Was that Beunka?" Charlie asked, saying her name in the pretentious way Bianca insists it's pronounced.

"It was," I nodded

"Checking in?"

"Something like that, yo, checkout that bed," I changed the subject. It wasn't exactly hard to figure out that the girls and Bianca didn't get along, Charlie especially didn't like Bianca and Bianca was unnecessarily jealous of Charlie, she made it a point to try and be around me every time Charlie was.

"I see you in more of a racing car sort of bed," she teased.

"Have you ever though of stand-up? I mean you're hilarious," I rolled my eyes going to actually look at the loft style bed. It was the style of bed I was looking for.

"I resent your sarcasm,"

"In that case, I believe you should resent almost all of yourself," I countered.

"You don't know me,"

"Hey is anyone else hungry?" Thea asked.

"I could eat," Charlie shrugged.

"Why don't we grab some food while we wait for Jae?" she suggested.

"Sounds like a plan, anything is better than shopping," BM continues to whine.

"Dude, shut up, no one likes a whiny bitch," Thea frowned at him.

"Some people do," Charlie shrugged making a small dig at Bianca.

"Let's get food," Thea smirked.

"Does anyone even know where the food court is?" BM asked, they all paused and turned to me.

"What? Because I've been here a billion times you think I know where everything is?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah pretty much," was the general consensus.

"This way," I lead them towards the food.

"See," Thea stated smugly.

"No one likes a dick Thea," BM smirked at here.

"Not true," she smirked back winking.

"We can't take you anywhere," he shook his head at her.

"We can't take either of them anywhere," I pointed out, honestly they were as bad as each other.

"Good thing we brought you here then, huh?" Thea rolled her eyes.

"Like you two are any better, the only difference is we're funny and you're lame," Charlie shrugged.

"You think you're funny," BM muttered.

"Better to think we're funny than look funny like someone we know," Thea looked directly at him.

"Are you sure you're not actually 4?"

"Only mentally," she shrugged.

They continued to bicker back and forth while I lead them to the food court, Charlie added a comment here and there which threw BM off guard for a few seconds, long enough for Thea to throw a comeback at him. In the end he gave up, and sulked a little which only made them ridicule him some more.

"Look, food," I stated in an attempt to save him.

"Why are you looking at me? You eat more in one meal that both of us combined, in a whole day," Thea defended herself from and attack I wasn't staging.

"I was simply pointing out we were in the food court because you wanted food, do you not remember?"

"Probably not, her memory is as bad as the men she's attracted too," Charlie took the opportunities to make fun of her.

The two had a running joke, Thea liked old men and Charlie liked children. Every time, we'll not every time but quite frequently, if Thea finds a guy attractive he turns out to be over 30 and if it's Charlie finding a guy attractive he's between 18 and 20 which in her head is a child, in reality, they're only 4-6 years younger than her.

"Yeah well at least mine have memories, will yours even retain their memories yet?"

"They have their whole life to develop memories, yours are basically dust, they grow older as rapidly as they lose their memories,"

"That's how I like my men, old and dusty, at least they don't smell like a baby,"

"That's disgusting," Charlie pulled a disgusted face, if you didn't know her you would think it was the old and dusty comment, it was actually the baby smell comment, the smell itself actually makes her sick, she boarder line throws up. It's probably a good thing she hates children because I don't think she could handle having them.

"It still confuses me that you can literally use you bare hand to pick up any kind of animal poop, you don't even flinch if they get any form of bodily fluid on you but the slight smell of a newborn and you're out of that room so quick you would think it contained a plague," BM shook his head.

"Animals are adorable, babies a gross and sticky, I'm confused as to why people choose to have them,"

"You realize you were a baby once right?" He frowned.

"I didn't choose to have me, I would have aborted me," she shrugged.

"I would have aborted you too," Thea agreed.

"Like anyone else would understand what you're saying," Charlie countered.

"I have BM,"

"Who only understands you half the time,"

"It's not my fault he's dumb," she shrugged.

"I'm not dumb," BM drowned

"Yes you are," Thea nodded.

BM

Arguing with her was pointless, she'll just keep going until she gets bored and then she'll tell me to shut up. I swear she has the mentality of a toddler, a cranky over tired toddler.

"Just sit down," he rolled his eyes.

"You can't tell me what to do,"

"So you're just going to stand there the whole time?"

"No, I'm going to sit down, but only because I want to, not because to told me too,"

"You really showed me," I replied sarcastically.

"Shut up," she pulled a face.

"Child," I retorted.

"You realizes you're as bad as each other right?" Charlie raised an eyebrow.

"We are not," we both said at the same time.

"Thea is worse than me,"

"Yeah," she agreed.

"Can we just get food so we can get back to what we came here for?" Sam stated.

"He's getting IKEA itchy," Thea smirked.

"He's always IKEA itchy," Charlie stated.

"Where is Jae?" Sam ignored them.

"On his way, why?"

"Because he'll keep her entertained," Sam nodded to Charlie.

"One, don't refer to me as if I'm an infant, that's gross, and two he'll just join in and you know it,"

"She's right," Thea nodded.

"I'm always right," Charlie shrugged.

"You've been wrong before," I stated without thinking.

"Name one time I was wrong?" She challenged.

"Dude, she doesn't argue, comment, or make statements if she doesn't know she's right," Thea shook her head at me.

I was sure she had been wrong about something before. So I tried to think about it but I couldn't remember at this point.

"See" Charlie stated smugly after what felt like about five minutes of my inability to think of one.

"Never wrong," Thea smirked a millisecond later.

"Can we just eat?" I sighed.

"No one is stopping you," she nodded.

"What does everyone want? I asked.

"Why are you paying?" Thea teased.

"If it gets me away from you for five minutes,"

"That was mean," she frowned and pouted.

"You're annoying," I shrugged.

"I'm bored, I've been bored all week. Having nothing to do after working full time will drive a person crazy you know,"

"What's your excuse for when you were working?" I countered.

"I have to deal with you," she shrugged.

"You should try dealing with you,"

"If Charlie can deal with me I'm sure you can,"

"Charlie is as broken as you,"

"No, I'm not," she shook her head.

"Okay, she's on the same level of broken as you, just not as bad,"

"You're so mean when you're forced into going shopping," she pulled a face at me.

"Hello," Sam sighed.

We stopped bickering thinking he was talking to us but he was on the phone.

"We're in the food court, just follow the yellow line on the floor until you find the sign that says food court, yeah, okay just stay there and I'll come get you, bye," he hung up the phone and stood up.

"I'll be back in a minute," he stated leaving the table.

"Where are you going? Jae knows how to follow a coloured line," I frowned.

"It's Bianca not Jae," he said before leaving.

"Did anyone else know she was coming?" Thea pulled a face.

"No," Charlie also pulled a face.

"It explains why he has to go find her," Thea stated.

"Seriously, this is not what I had in mind when you said we were going to IKEA," Charlie rolled her eyes clearly annoyed.

"I didn't invite her," Thea defended.

"Well obviously," Charlie shot back.

"Play nice you two,"

"Shut up BM," they said in unison, which eased their irritation slightly seeing as they both laughed a little.

"Dude, does she even know the difference between a bed and a lamp?" Thea questioned.

"Of course she does, a bed is what she sleeps with Sam on, a lamp is what he turns off so he doesn't have to look at her when he's doing it," Charlie nodded.

"With that logic, she might think a lounge is also a bed, and probably the floor and a shower," I commented.

"Dude I don't want to hear about their sex life," Charlie pulled a face.

"Is it morally okay for him to sleep with someone that has the mental age of a toddler?" Thea asked sounding a little too serious.

"Toddlers are smarter that her," Charlie stated.

"You two are so savage," I shook my head.

"You should hear what we say about you," Thea smirked.

"That you're eternally in love with me?"

"Not even in your dreams," she shook her head.

CHARLIE

It didn't take long for Sam to come back with Bianca. Yay. I noticed her hair first, her usually very bleached, probably severely damaged, bottle blond hair was still mostly the same, except she had ombréd pink through the bottom, which interestingly enough, was the exact hairstyle I had the last time I'd seen her. Not that I was surprised.

"Hey everyone," she plastered on a smile, I'm guessing it was fake seeing as Sams face held a slightly bored, slightly annoyed expression which he normally had when Bianca was annoyed and had tried to argue with him about what ever it was that had annoyed her. Probably my presents here. She was consistently pulling me aside and trying to warn and or threaten me to 'stay away from her man' which honestly only made me hang out with Sam more, mostly to spite her but partially to see if she would do anything because I was certain she only knew how to act threatening, or at least try. Please, my kitten holds more of a threat.

"Oh, you have a new hair style?" Thea asked slowly.

"Yeah, I just had it done. Do you like it?" She smiled smugly. That girl spends way too much money on her appearance, and it's not helping.

"I got kind of bored with it after about a week," I shrugged.

"I thought I'd seen it somewhere before," Thea nodded.

She had a habit of doing that, if I did something, or wore something, she would either do something extremely similar or just out right copy it. Honestly, she was probably insecure about how close Sam and I are, she should be more worried about the fact that Sam is only with her out of convenience.

"Let's eat," BM stated.

"Do you want something?" He turned to Bianca.

"Can I get something with no sugar, no carbs, no gluten or dairy,  and is fat-free?"

"So, water?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Well she can't use up her calories this early in the day," Thea smirked.

"How many calories are you Sam?" Jae walked up behind him.

"Dude," BM frowned.

"What?"

"That's gross,"

"Thea put the idea out there, I just asked,"

"Thea shouldn't speak half the time," BM stated.

"Hey," she pulled a face.

"I hear Thea puts a lot out there," Bianca made an attempt at joining in on the usual banter, the issue there is, none of us liked her, not even Sam. Which meant it was okay for us to attack each other but it was not okay for her to do it.

This was clear by the way everyone stopped joking, BM looked over at Thea who looked both shocked and like she wanted to jump over the table, I half though she would, half knew she wouldn't at least not in such a public setting. Jae looked amused by the whole situation, but he usually was.

"That wasn't okay," BM stated slowly.

"Yeah That was kind of mean," Sam added with a small frown.

"Why? I was joking?" Bianca was completely oblivious to the mood.

"You're a joke," I shot.

"You think I'm funny?" She smiled not getting the insult.

"I think it's funny that Sam chooses to continue to put it in someone with an IQ of negative,"

"Charlie," BM shoot me a warning look.

"What? It's not my fault she doesn't understand when she's being insulted,"

"I think I would understand if someone was hitting me,"

"I said insulted not assaulted," I rolled my eyes.

"What's the difference?"

THEA

Charlie was getting more annoyed the longer their conversation continued. Sam looked uncomfortable, Bianca was literally too dumb to know she was being insulted but Sam knew, he wasn't an angry person so he wasn't going to get mad at Charlie for it, but that didn't mean he was okay with it either. Sometimes I felt bad for attaching her, in front of him anyway.

"Insulted is done verbally, assaulted is done physically," BM frowned explained trying to defuse the tension. Idiot.

"She'll figure out the difference on her own if she keeps talking," I stated.  

"What?"

"There is really no point explaining it, why don't we just eat and get this over with?" Charlie rolled her eyes.

"That's a great idea ChaCha," Bianca used my nickname for Charlie, which the boys barely got away with using and they only got away with it sometimes.

"Don't call me that," Charlie stared at her seriously.

"Why?"

"Only I get to call her that," I answered, to an outsider it probably seemed childish.

"Oh relax Theo, were all friends here," she shrugged this time using Charlie's nickname for me, which made me more mad.

"One, were not all friends, and two, you can't use our nicknames for each other because we don't like you, these three don't even get to use those nicknames and we at least kind of like them," Charlie stated but again the tone and complete message of her comment completely evaded Bianca.

"We're totally friends,"

"Okay B, you know how you only let your grandmother call you Bianca?" Sam stepped in.

"I don't let her, she's just too dumb to know how it's actually pronounced,"

"My point is you don't get mad when she calls you Bianca but you get mad when everyone else does?"

"Yeah, because it's pronounced Beunka,"

"This is the same kind of thing, only they can call each other by those nicknames because they get mad if anyone else does it,"

"Why? They're nicknames it's not like it's their real names,"

"Seriously, a brick wall has a higher IQ," Charlie shook her head.

"What is an IQ,"

"Why don't we just skip eating," I stated slowly, the less time we had to spend with Bianca the better.

JACKSON

I walked through the door and set the box on the table, the TV was on so I was assuming Mark was also the home for lunch, until he walked out of the bathroom clearly just having showered.

"Sick day?" I raised an eyebrow.

"There was nothing to do and I can do nothing at home," he shrugged.

"Right, do you actually do work anymore?"

"I do boss stuff,"

"Okay boss man I have pizza, because some of us only have lunch off and can't sit at home all day,"

"You choose to work, why are you home?"

"Because I'm apparently working in the city for the next two weeks," I sighed.

"And that's bad?"

"Do you know how much of a pain it is to work in the city? With rude assholes and everyone is a rush to get to where every they're going?"

"Dude, I work in the city permanently,"

"You sit in a CEO office while your slaves do the foot work,"

"What's your point?"

"I work on the street in the weather with the people, and they're not very nice,"

"Again you choose to work, no one forced you, besides one phone call and you wouldn't have to work in the city. So, I'm not really seeing the issue, I mean you're home for lunch and you'll be home like almost two hours earlier than normal,"

"I don't like working in the city,"

"Whatever, where's the pizza?" He shrugged.

BM

We were finally leaving IKEA, two and a half hours later. We would probably have spent more time and had more fun, or any kind of fun, if Bianca hasn't of been here. The girls were annoyed, mostly Charlie, probably because whatever Charlie pointed out for, not just Sam, but any of us, she insulted and pointed out something she thought was better - it wasn't. Then Bianca would get mad because we chose what Charlie or Thea pointed out, that gave the two a small victory but it didn't seem to minimize the irritation levels at all. You would think the tension would ease when we left the building, but it didn't.

"So where to now?" Jae asked once we'd finished loading the flat pack furniture onto the back of my Ute, the smaller items had gone into the back seat and boot of Charlies Mini Cooper.

"Well this isn't going to put itself together," Charlie nodded to the pile of boxes.

"So home?"

"Obviously," Charlie stated.

"Should we get something for lunch on the way? Like a hot chicken and some bread rolls?" Thea suggested, she was like a mother sometimes, when she wasn't a four year old anyway.

"Sam and I can get it," Bianca suggested. The girls faces changed.

"Why would you get it?" Charlie frowned.

"We don't have anything in my car, it will be easier,"

"Oh, you're not helping," Charlie shook her head.

"Sure we are," Bianca smiled.

"Sam," Charlie gave him a serious look.

"Charlie's rights, Beunka took time out to come and help with shopping when she didn't have to. You should take her to lunch to thank her," I suggested, Sam nodded understanding what I was doing.

It was bad enough having them all in IKEA, if we left Bianca in a small space with Charlie, Thea, and tools, it probably won't end well. It's worrying enough letting Thea handle tools, let alone giving them a target.

"That's a good idea, let's go to lunch,"

"We can't just leave them to do it, if there's more people not will get done quicker,"

"Like you'll be any help anyway," Thea rolled her eyes.

"No I don't think it will, besides the room isn't very big so it will just be cramped with a lot of people being in there," Sam stated ignoring Thea's comment.

"I really feel like we should help,"

"Why don't we go to that restaurant you wanted to go to, the one your friend was bragging about?"

"Really? I thought you didn't want to go?"

"But you want to, so do you want to go to lunch?" Sam pushed.

"Of course, sorry guys we'll help next time,"

"Yay," Charlie rolled her eyes sarcastically.

CHARLIE

"Do you think I could run her over and claim it was an accident?" Thea asked.

"She's too dumb to think it was on purpose, and if she did it wouldn't take much to convince her otherwise,"

"If she lived," Thea shrugged starting the car.

We followed behind BM's truck and Bianca followed behind us, for a minute I was worried that she had changed her mind about going to lunch and had decided the come and help us instead.

[shmisolo]

Some recommendations for showing your appreciation for fic

I never know how to make this post, largely because I write fic and so I don’t want it to come across as a “do this for me.”  But I see my peers and friends routinely stating that they don’t know how their fics are being recieved and feel as though they are shouting their fic into a void and that it is wildly disheartening.  

So since I had time on my hands this morning, I’m writing up some suggestions for you.  This is long.  I’m not putting it under a cut for Reasons. 

Tumblr

Reblog fic.

That’s the biggest one.  Hitting like feels great.  I, as your fic writer, enjoy it when my fic is liked.  I, as an author, get really excited when someone is recommending my fic.  

Reblogging is not just showing your appreciation; it is recommending it to the people who follow you.  It’s a double whammy.  

Most fic readers like fic recommendations.  There’s a lot of fic out there, and so someone saying “Hi, I liked this and enjoy it, you might too” is really appreciated as a reader who is trying to figure out what to do.

Comment on fic.

Commenting is a great way to show support for a fic and an author.  It’s talking to them and showing your appreciation for their work.  It can be finger mashing, it can be something longer.  Tumblr comment culture tends to rely on sending shorter notes, but I’ve never seen an author complain about getting a long comment ever in my life.

Tag Commentaries - One of the things I like about tumblr is that tag culture has turned, over the years, into a way to add some subtle commentary while reblogging.  So you can tag things functionally (#fic is my functional reblogged fic tag), and then add anything you want in the tags.  Adding a simple “I loved this” in the tags makes an author feel great and might motivate them to write more.

Replies - Replying to the fic is another great way to show an author you liked their story.  The author (and the person you might be getting the reblog from) will get a notification of what you are saying on their post.  So even if you don’t follow the author, you can still say you appreciate their work.

Reblog additions - You can also add your own commentary to the caption of the fic as you see fit!  Different fandoms have different conventions on this, and authors have different preferences.  Similar to replies, the author will get a notification in their activity feed that you’ve said something and be able to check it out.

Sending asks or DMs - This is another way to reach out to an author and let them know you liked their story.  It’s more private and personal, which means it happens rarely.   But especially if you’re shy, sending a nice anon (especially when most people’s associations with anons are p r e t t y   n a s t y, can be really a day-brightener).

Some general recommendations

Commenting is hard, especially when you don’t know what to say but have a lot of good feelings about a fic.  

Things not to do:  “When are you going to update?” / “More please!” - Sometimes this can be well recieved; other times it can have the opposite effect.  Some authors might take it well, others might take it as demanding and it might kill the joy they have in their story and so, far from getting the update you want, you won’t get anything at all. Recommended alternatives: saying what you liked to make you want more from the story.

Tone is a tricky thing to navigate generally online.  Something that might sound right in your head might be read very differently by the reader, so sometimes comments that are well-meant can come across as sarcastic/caustic and thus insulting when the author is reading them.  Be mindful and aware--we know you don’t mean that, but that doesn’t mean your words don’t hurt unintentionally.

Didn’t like something?  Or something grated you?  The author got canon wrong?  Take a deep breath.  It’s just fanfiction and you are not entitled to their work.  If they are not asking for critical feedback, your providing some unsolicited is crossing lines in an editorial process that you might not be aware of as a non-writer.  Just take a deep breath and keep scrolling.

Something as simple as a “this was great!” can go a long way.  If you want to go even further than that, pick a line you liked or a moment and say that you liked it.

Like fic.

If you’re not going to reblog fic but you enjoy it, I strongly recommend hitting the like button.  Not everyone uses the like button on this website the same way.  (I use tumblr across multiple devices and so I hit like on most posts I reblog just to remember that I’ve already seen the post; I know not everyone does this though.)  But if you’re someone who uses the like button fairly liberally, this is a strong move.

Following.

Obviously--you get to choose who you follow.  But if you like a fic, check out the author’s blog, and consider giving them a follow.  

There are also frequently fic-amassing blogs within larger fandoms.  Those are good ones to check out too!

AO3(/FF.N/Other Platforms)

These are mostly recommendations based on AO3, though some may apply to other fic publishing platforms.

Comments

I’m not going to type all that up again.  I’d say the suggestions I made in the tumblr comment section apply across all platforms.

@longlivefeedback​ has a comment builder tool if you want help with writing a longer comment.

The only other point I’d say is there’s not time-limit on when to give a comment.  Someone posted the fic three years ago?  Five years ago?  Drop a note!  I’ve never seen an author complain about getting a comment on an old fic.  On the contrary, most of them are thrilled when it happens.

Kudos

Kudos are not like the tumblr like function.  They aren’t a way to save a fic you like--they are an easy way to show appreciation for a fic you’ve read.  If you liked it, and don’t regret the time spent reading, I recommend hitting the kudos button.  Most authors have daily emails turned on with Kudos updates from fics on AO3 and will get a note saying a fic got a kudos.  That feels good: some read their fic and enjoyed reading their fic.

Bookmarks

You can have both private and public bookmarks on AO3.  

Private is good for things you....might want to keep private (like that kinky fucking porn that you really enjoyed and might...want to...find....again later....) (Or whatever else you want to keep private.)

Public will appear on your AO3 profile.  If someone is checking out your profile, they might see bookmarks as recommendations of good fic they might enjoy.  Since AO3 doesn’t have a reblog function, this is as close as you can get to having a catered fic recs section on that platform.

You can add additional tags and commentaries to your bookmarks as you’re saving them, allowing you to organize as you see fit.  Additional commentaries are something the author can also see and which might make their day in the way a comment might.

Cross-Platform

A lot of authors have multiple platforms they engage with.  Some will post directly to AO3 (or another platform), some will post to both tumblr and AO3.

If you find something on AO3 that you enjoy, a good number of authors will link--either in their profile or in their fics--how you can find them on tumblr.  If you want to spread an AO3 fic you find to your followers, see if the author has an original post they made about the fic that you can reblog--that way the author knows what traction their fic is getting, and where it’s coming from.  (We like to know that shit.  Trust me.)

If the author doesn’t have a post you can find, I strongly recommend @-mentioning them here on tumblr so they get a notification and know that they’re getting recommended.

If you’re making a post that lists out AO3 recs and you put the AO3 author handle--but know that the author has a tumblr, please also @-mention their tumblr.  They love knowing they’re getting recommended.

If you see an author you follow is posting a lot of tumblr fic, check out their AO3--they might have more!  If you don’t see a link for their profile on their blog, ask after it!  Chances are you’ll make them feel warm and fuzzy because that’s an ask that says “I love your writing.  Is there more of it I can check out?”   Even if they don’t have an account on AO3, you might get links to more fic for you to check out.

Some Notes for Authors

I read (and reblogged) a post a while back that talks about social media and fic writing.  The thing that’s hard about all this is that, even if AO3 doesn’t feel like a social media (we all know that Tumblr is one, for better and for worse) that doesn’t mean it’s not still beholden to some of the same laws that affect all web platforms, regardless of content or purpose.

I’m gonna quote the first post that I linked above (thank you @obotligtnyfiken for adding info to that post):

1 % are very active. They are the fans. They create their own content (hello, fanfic!), they cheer you on, they protest. 9 % may respond when you ask them to do something, but they will not take initiative. And they will not engage every time. 90 % will never engage, whatever you do.

Let me first say: it sucks to think about your fic in terms of marketing standards when you might not have any experience in marketing.  Considering what a success rate is based on what social media success is considered to be rather than the more nuanced forms of “I got a bunch of reviews and they were heartening” sucks.  But if you’re looking at hit counts and kudos counts, the above is important to bear in mind: most of your readers might enjoy but not engage because that’s how internet users engage with internet content across the board.  (Think about all that stuff you see on Facebook because you follow a page.  You might see it.  You might even appreciate the information.  You might not hit the like button.)  It sucks that the same is true of fic but...the same is true of fic.  

Readers: You’re reading this.  You see what authors are balancing when they’re posting their fic online.  Please be mindful.  And I encourage you to engage with things you like.  Don’t be that silent 90%!

Because of this, bearing in mind that if you have a 10% kudos:hit ratio on your fic, that’s doing pretty well.  

@longlivefeedback​ has a good breakdown of how the AO3 hit counter works.  I recommend checking it out since it was more protective of authors than I had initially thought.  

People are engaging with your fic, despite the fact that 90% of people don’t necessarily engage with content on the internet that they might still enjoy.  If you’re writing a chaptered fic, that number might get skewed so the percentage seems even lower.  

That being said, there are still ways that a hit:kudos ratio might get skewed in ways that might actually be kinder to your fic than you think: let’s say that someone goes back and rereads your fic after a few weeks or months or years (or days tbh).  You’ll get fresh hits from that.  They might not necessarily say anything--they left a kudos and a comment last time.  They gave their feedback.  But you’re still getting hits from them.

Readers: authors welcome “I’m rereading this and still love it” reviews.  If you’re reading through this section and want to support your authors, be aware of all the different feedback inputs they’re contending with, and what seem like happy fun fic time to you might come across as “no one likes my stuff,” to them which could be flatly untrue.

[neonstatic]

(transcripted convo)

i’m reposting a discussion i had w a terf. i previously posted screenshots but she messaged me and said she didn’t want her url or avatar displayed. editing the pics to post them again was hell so i’m posting a script instead (i learned my lesson tumblr: you suck). if anyone ends up finding the convo and thus the redacted speaker... idc. this is a public website and we technically had this convo in public - the notes of a post aren’t private spaces afaik. i’m posting this as proof that sometimes calmly reasoning with ppl lead to nothing. (i know anyone could say the same but lmao leave me alone.)

tw for transphobia/transmisogyny 

[redacted] (speaking to a transmasc discourser about the "woman path"): Ok let me explain what I mean :) if your experience was totally different then thats fine :) im 24 and when I was little i was encouraged to play with dolls and learn 'motherly things' like playing with baby dolls while my brother played with toy trucks. There was a lot of pressure at school to wear dresses, and be sweet and polite. @[transmasc discourser] then of course, learning to deal with periods and the shame and taboo around them. Removing body hair because its considered unladylike. Etc

@[transmasc discourser] have you had none of those experiences?

neonbaebae: these are all common experiences for women bc of gender roles/stereotypes but none of that defines womanhood as an identity.

[redacted]: completely agree they are gender roles. But menstruation isnt a gender role. Its a frustrating part of being female. But that said, what IS womanhood then?

(rest under cut)

neonbaebae: menstruation is a biological function that is in no way exclusive to female bodies. remember intersex ppl, who come in all forms and shapes. women aren't all the same and it's likewise for men. there are intersex women who don't fit all the criteria for being "female" yet still identify as women. there is a distinction to make between womanhood as an experience and womanhood as an identity.

the woman experience is what you've described. the woman identity is feeling like one, e.g.: liking female-coded clothes, makeup, hairstyles, feeling comfortable in the societal role of being a woman. identity is essentially abt self perception most of the time

[redacted]: intersex is unique and I respect that not all womens bodies are the same. Intersexuality is complex but it doesnt represent the majority of biological women. I dont have a strong baclground in intersex knowledge so I'm certainly not gonna speak on behalf of intersex women. so if identity is self perception (which I completely agree with) how can a biological man self perceive his femaleness.if he's never experienced it?

neonbaebae: trans women never identify with being male and all in entails. and they can see, thru watching women counterparts and how they interact with the world around them, that they id more w the idea of womanhood and much less w the idea of manhood. it's esp why dysphoria often settles around puberty bc the dissonance manifests physically and that's harder to handle

[redacted]: but what youre talking about is what trans women see women do.  If thats what someone aspires to, its a very basic and narrow understanding of  what womanhood is. Its only what they see. And people are far more complex than this. Does a biological male aspire to periods stigma, beauty conformity and lesser social stance in the world? Or do they aspire to femininity? Something many biological women dont feel comfortable with

neonbaebae: womanhood as an identity is a feeling that is strengthened by a disconnection to manhood, its polar opposite. someone who completely rejects the idea of being man is likely to prefer being a woman (not always but likely!). many trans women do aspire to femininity and it has nothing to do with the cis women who are uncomfortable w it, just like there are many cis women who embrace it too.

many trans women cannot quite explain their transition in another way than "being a man felt wrong but being a woman feels right and authentic to my true self". i'd suggest to ask an actual trans woman for her pov tho since i'm not one, i'm just basing myself on what i've heard them say

[redacted]: but feeling disconnected with manhood (which is understandable and gender roles are frustrating) doesnt make someone the opposite of a man. As society we need to open our understanding of gender expression. But this isnt the same as thinking 'if I dont feel like a conventional man or connect with male social expectations, then I must be the opposite'. Theres no logic in that

we live in a world where gender stereotype binaries are considered natural, and people who dont fit this understandably feel marginalised. In fact Id argue to a greater or lesser degree, none of us truly fit the prescribed gender binary.

but i find it problematic when a man thinks they're a woman based on what they think 'woman' is.

neonbaebae: you're right in saying that a disconnection from manhood doesn't make someone a woman - a connection to womanhood does. it has v little to do with the upbringing of women which you seem to define thru misogyny and menstruation alone which is frankly a pessimistic view of womanhood. it's less not feeling like a conventional man and more not feeling like a man At All. tru it doesn't sound logical but gender is not logical it's abstract and complex

it seems problematic bc one might think men would gain smth from iding as women but stats show that trans women are at higher risk of assault for being out and open, both of bc of misogyny (not directly related to having a vagina or menstruating after all) & transphobia. it's esp telling that trans men aren't targeted as much. do you disagree w trans men as well?

[redacted]: but as a women i dont connect with womanhood. Lol i am a women. It would be nice to think we live in a world where women are equal, but that's not the world we live in. Womanhood is hard. And we do live under a patriarchal society that's cultivated female inferiority over many centuries. We're still negotiating freedoms today.

Its not about gaining or loss. Its about the male right to self define womanhood on their terms, without the biological or social conditioning. In fact, many have recieved MALE conditioning as children. This comes with its own privileges.

I think transmale is a very different experience so no I categorise them very differently to transwomen

neonbaebae: "as a woman" you say. even if the experiences and stereotypes don't fit you perfectly, even if you reject it, you still id as a woman. you feel like one and you suffer the consequences of being one. believe it or not trans women suffer from iding as a woman as well and thrice as harshly. i can provide sources if you want.

trans women don't think like men bc they feel like women. the thought patterns are different. they don't digest the social messages abt men bc their mind doesn't relate to it. male entitlement and all doesn't apply to them. and in sociology alone womanhood is often defined as more than a biological or upbringing thing. it's a social identity and trans women have a right to it if they don't id and reject manhood altogether

my question tho was do you think trans men aren't men either cus otherwise that'd be hypocritical

[redacted]: my point is its not an identity. Its a reality. Im a woman. I have xx chromosomes and the world treats me as such. Similar to my race. I dont identify as my race, i am treated as the world sees me.

male entitlement does apply. Statistically baby boys are fed for longer than baby girls. And little girls are left to cry for longer than baby boys. Little girls learn many motherly caretaker roles while many of their male counterparts are encouraged to conquer the world. Children are raised by gender. Even subconsciously. I can also provide sources :)

there are many more male leaders and men in authoritive positions in the world. Women fight very hard for the same respect, but womens voices are less valued. It takes no genius to see men have greater standing in the world

about transmen. No I dont consider them men but I'll respectfully use the pronouns anyone prefers, male or female. Its common decency.

I think society needs to get more comfortable with non confirmative gender expression

neonboobear: but it is an identity. that's why there's a distinction between sex (bio) and gender (identity & expression). if it would feel wrong for you to be called a man or nonbinary then that'd be bc you don't id as such. (also there are women with chromosomes other than xx maybe you should avoid phrasing it that way.) i id as my race but race has v different roots & impact than gender historically and it cannot be compared. let's stick with gender.

and i'm not denying gendered socialization but it doesn't shape a child more than their personal feelings on their identity, which can differ v early in life bc (some) would rather engage in activities associated with the opposite gender for example. if it were that simple trans ppl wouldn't go at lengths to "play the part"

you're right society does need to accept gender non conformance but that's v different from the trans experience. i rly think you should have a deep conversation with a trans person to try and see their pov

[redacted]: if womanhood is an identity, it totally invalidates what it means to be female. And yes its arguable that there're are women who arent xx but how about the majority of the population that are. Must we pander to the few at the expense of the majority? also what makes you assume I dont talk to trans people? Critique doesnt mean lack of empathy.

Children and gendered socialization is complex. Maybe if 'feminine' activities werent coded as female and just 'childhood play' we wouldnt have the same degree of dysphoria. It goes back to the irrational logic, 'if I like the pink toy section then I must be a girl.'

neonboobear: i'm afraid that is your pov for the ideology that womanhood is an experience but also an identity is considered a v valid theory in the science field. the fact that there are women with chromosomes other than xx is proof alone that xx chromosomes aren't what makes a woman. and i've suggested a deep conversation and an intention to Understand the Other. not just a talk. i said nothing abt empathy.

there would be less dysphoria but i'm sure it's still be there. many think the abolition of gender would solve everything but i doubt so

[redacted]: i have a close mtf friend and we have the debate constantly. We don't always agree with her but there's a lot more common ground then you might expect :) Gender roles damn us all. Hmmmm... abolition of gender is impossible but theres is a lot that can be done to challenge gender expectations. But not an easy battle! neonbaebae: i mean this with the least offense okay but i sincerely think neither of you should be friends. i’m black and i’d never befriend a racist. that’s a lack of self respect on her part and a plain lack of respect on yours. 

i’d like to end this conversation here. i’ve said my point and i’d only repeat myself by continuing. and since i’m not a trans woman i don’t want to misinterpret them (so sorry if i’ve already did. trans girls feel free to bring up clarifications). might sound tedious but i strongly suggest you watch this 50-min long video essay by youtuber contrapoints. her vids are informative and entertaining and so v easy to digest despite the length. i’ve heard she’s not v liked in terf circles but it’s worth it to listen to what she has to say as a trans women.