My schools starting back up at the end of the month, and I'm nervous about going into the next grade. Because we have to do some classes with the grade above us. And I'm scared of doing anything with them, (it's mostly the boys.) Because they have bullied me in the past, because we had to do sport with them in the past. And they always picked on me in the classes. And I'm not attending any of the school camps, because they have to go with us. And i'm not putting up with any of their crap again, and it always triggers my anxiety being with them at all.
The boys in that class have made me cry, and not want to be in school at all. In one class, I kept asking to use the bathroom, just because i didn't want to do anything there. Or we were playing this game of basket ball, and I was just running around trying to get the ball. And there were people watching, and the guys in the class were like. "Do something!" And when I walked back over. One of them were like, "you're such a disgrace to this team," or "you're so useless." another thing he might of said was: "I wish you weren't on our team." I just felt like crying so much. And this is something I've been putting up with my whole life, (by diffrent people.) just people at school or just peope in general bullying me.
(Sorry for the vent, it's just you always make people feel better.)
Never, and I mean NEVER, allow anyone to bring you down hon. You're a frikin star and nobody can take your shine away. Try to talk with teachers or your parents, speak! Even if you think they would be mad at you, do it! Because those kind of "people" do those things because they've never had consecuences. So if they try to pull you down, you get up, smile and keep walking because the world is yours! And if you want to cry, DO IT! You cry enough to heal yourself, cry a river where they can drown. And remember that you're special, you matter and I love you so so so much 💕
5 notes
·
View notes
today i love the red metal crane in her long neck arching her body over the boston skyline, which means i am okay for a moment. when i am unwell, everything is a little ugly. i always tell myself look for the beauty but when it is bad, i will look at birds and sunsets and little ducklings and feel absolutely nothing.
when my brother got his puppy, i was in a deep depression. what kind of monster isn't affected by a puppy. i was gentle and kind to her - i just didn't have an emotional reaction. she's five now and i feel like i spend all of our interactions apologizing to her - i don't know why. i just didn't feel anything. how embarrassing. i feel like if i admit that, i'll seem cruel and jaded. it comes in waves. like, two months ago when i went out into the world - it was like that. life behind a pane of stormglass. a firework could go off over your head - nothing. like dead skin, no reaction. not to ice cream or rainbows or baby chickens. life foggy and uninteresting.
i love goslings again. i love their little webbed feet splayed over grass. i love good food and live music and long walks. i like puppies. i feel like some kind of my soul has been starved - i keep staring at everything with wide eyes, trying to burrow the sensation into my stomach. it's real. beauty is real. when it's bad again, remember this. i stop and smell the flowers, feeling cliche in the moment. i like the white-to-red ombre of my neighbor's roses. i like colorcoding and yoga and cold drinks. i try to pass my hands over every moment, feeling like i'm squeezing joy out of every instant. remember this. for the love of god, it's real - just remember this.
2K notes
·
View notes
literally. when i joined tumblr when i was like, 14, i had no goddamn clue how this site worked. i didn't understand reblogs, and i couldn't figure out how to tag my posts correctly so all my tags got jumbled together "kindalikethis".
but i saw that i could leave replies on people's posts. so, i'd search the name of my fave show/things i liked, and when i saw a post that was neat, i liked and replied to it. and, usually, got replies back (usually from the op). i had whole conversations in the replies of posts. i'd usually follow the poster soon afterwards, and after i noticed the ask box, began to send asks as well.
within a month, despite initially not knowing how to reblog or how the site really worked, i'd made about 10 friends, and had a dash constantly covered in new posts that i enjoyed. around this point i really figured out how reblogs and tags worked, and i was off to the races, dragging in more followers and friends.
all of this, without an algorithm. i never needed one. and neither does any new user.
it might feel disheartening to get not as many responses at first, or for your dash to feel quiet, but you just got to keep trying + learning. don't just give up immediately when your post only gets one note or you go 30 minutes without seeing anything new on your dash. if you wanna have a good time on this site, you gotta make an effort to adapt to it.
5K notes
·
View notes
Does anyone else think about how Sakura was so excited and FRIENDLY to Suo when he thought he was a foreigner? If I had to count how often I think about that I'd say I'm never not thinking about it.
He introduced himself so POLITELY. Even tried to accommodate him by greeting him in English. He was so fuckin stoked thinking he was being kind to a foreigner.
(I'm also always thinking about how he got out the "I am-" and the part he got stuck at was his name my booooyyyy 😭)
455 notes
·
View notes
Chilchuck analysis speedrun: As a hardworking half-foot who grew up poor and discriminated against and had his gullibility taken advantage of multiple times in his early adventuring days, Chilchuck thinks optimism is a dangerous flaw. He’s stressed and strict all the time because his job is noticing details like traps that could get everyone killed before anyone knows it, he takes the lives of everyone to be on his shoulders, and with the way he speaks about it that probably partly reflects how he felt about taking it upon himself to provide for his family too. His life’s always been pretty centered around work and has become even moreso now that his wife left and everyone is independent, and due to past events he’s very iffy with bonding with coworkers. He thinks feelings and job are a disaster mix. Like with his wife or with parties hiring him as sacrifice, being open or having good faith is vulnerability which can get you hurt, so he processes and shows all his stress as anger instead of worry. Doing strict dieting probably isn’t helping the irritability what with hunger, and on top of being a hunger suppressant alcohol might be the main stress reliever he has.
His grey hairs are so earned
582 notes
·
View notes