#it's ok baz I think

[beginnerblueglass]

Elvis (2022), culture of celebrity, Greek heroism, idolatry, and dehumanization.

So this Christmas my Gramma got Baz Lurhmann's Elvis Presley biopic, aptly named Elvis, in her stocking. I watched it with her, and then I watched it again three days later, and then a third time a week after that. Since then it's pretty much been keeping me up at night. I felt like I had to get my thoughts down, even if this just lives in my drafts for all eternity. So here we go; I've never written a long-form meta like this, and I'm really just emptying out my brain at this point. (Long post).

1. Elvis as seen through the eyes of the man who killed him (or did he?)

The movie begins in Las Vegas in 1997, and we are immediately introduced to an old man who's just collapsed from a stroke. He's rushed to the hospital in an ambulance and in his stroke-induced, fever-dream narration he describes himself as Colonel Tom Parker, the man who gave the world Elvis Presley. This narration is interrupted by loud voices of accusation and glaring headlines flashing across the screen, which accuse him of abusing, manipulating, overworking, and ultimately causing the death of Elvis Presley. He sits up quickly in his hospital bed, looks out at the Las Vegas cityscape, and tells us not to believe what the newspapers say about him. He declares that he did not, in fact, kill Elvis, and begins to tell the story from his point of view.

Now the first time I watched this movie, I was overwhelmed and slightly put off by the off-kilter pacing, and having read some reviews, I can see that many other viewers were as well. The first half of this movie is frenetic, erratic, impossibly quick-paced, bright, colourful, and has little respect for chronological order. These are the frantic, confused, morphine-induced ramblings of an old man on his deathbed, allegedly trying to set the record straight concerning the serious allegations which have been plaguing him for decades.

Something happens in the middle of this movie, however. After the victorious emotional and career peak of Elvis's '68 Comeback, the tone of the movie takes a turn. The pace slows down, the colour scheme loses its lustre, and there begins a growing sense of unease and dread. Something terrible is coming. It's ominous. Even if the viewer knows nothing about Elvis Presley, the opening scenes of the movie have already told us that he dies at the end. The main character of the story is nearing his end, and the storyteller on his deathbed is also nearing his.

So Elvis dies, and we get to the end of Parker's tale of self-defence. The only problem is, while he's been telling the story, we've been watching the story, and it seems beyond obvious that the Colonel is exactly what the shouting voices accused him of being at the beginning of the movie: a liar, cheat, and conman, guilty of causing Elvis's death. His final statement is easy to throw away as just another lie, "I'll tell you what really killed my boy: it was love, the love he felt from you, his fans." We roll our eyes in disgust and hope that he dies soon.

But wait. What does he mean by that and could he possibly have a point?

2. Celebrity culture, idolatry, and dehumanization.

I love a good story that accomplishes more than one purpose and tells more than just one story. Elvis tells the story of Elvis Presley, sure, and Colonel Tom Parker, and American pop culture, and the history of American music. It also tells a story that's been played out in real life, film, and television many, many times. The story of the meteoric rise and cataclysmic downfall of a beloved celebrity, a cultural icon, a superstar. What causes the downfall? Well, Parker claims that the culprit is love, specifically, the love fans feel for the celebrities they idolize. I found this movie to be a compelling examination of the dangers of the most prevalent form of idolatry in our culture: celebrity worship.

Before watching this movie I thought I had a pretty fair idea of who Elvis Presley was. I grew up in North America after all, and watched television, and you know, existed. I grew up listening to his Christmas album. I grew up watching Full House, in which one of the main characters, Uncle Jesse, is Elvis Presley's biggest fan. Since I can remember I've always been able to identify pictures of Elvis, and his voice. I can sing along to many of his songs. Many years ago my Gramma acquired a box set of all of Elvis's movies; I've seen bits and pieces of quite a few. Because of the internet, I've learned many commonly circulated fun facts about him, things like, "He was actually blond," and, "He was a legit federal agent," and, "He loved peanut butter." White sparkly jumpsuit, slick coiffed black hair, sideburns, curled lip, funny voice = Elvis, of course.

He is one of the preeminent members of a class of celebrity all on its own: the cultural icon. I wonder if some people don't think about the fact that "icon" is a religious word. In the minds of most people, and in the view of pop culture, Elvis Presley is no longer a human being just like anyone else; he has been reduced to a costume, an easily recognized symbol. Of what? Depends on who you ask. A symbol of America, or good, or evil, or Hollywood, or rock 'n roll, or Las Vegas, or teenage rebellion, or wealth, or a sex symbol.

What happens when a human being becomes the object of another human being's worship? They become just that, an object. Forms of worship include adoration, attention, devotion, money, and sex. They are offered in the name of love, and are often received as love. Our unreliable narrator makes the probably-true comment that Elvis became addicted to the false love, to the point where real love could not compare. Worshipers then feel entitlement to receive certain things back. The idol's life becomes public property, an open book which must be available for a photo shoot at all times, no matter how invasive. Fans swarm the gate of his private home, climb trees to peer into his window, refuse to watch a movie in which he doesn't sing, and photographers must capture his grief after his mother's death, and his haircut and physical exam before entering the military. Both the worshipers and the idol are eaten up by the vicious, dehumanizing cycle, which bears the pretty name of love.

We are invited to consider: did the consumeristic, idolatrous culture, which has a tendency to see people as products to be bought, invite the meddling of wicked, opportunistic men like Colonel Parker? Or did the wicked men, who package people up and market them as products to be sold, engineer such a culture?

3. Greek Mythology, the American Dream, and Elvis Presley.

Typology and literary archetypes are my jam. I adore how movies can play with these concepts through imagery and music. One of my all-time favourite movies is A Knight's Tale (2001). A Knight's Tale is about a peasant who masquerades as a knight and achieves fame, wealth, glory, and love. The director wanted the story to resonate with modern audiences, so he decided to portray knights as the medieval equivalent of rock stars. The movie utilizes symbols, metaphors, costume clues, and a killer soundtrack of classic rock songs to reinforce the idea that we are watching not just a movie about a knight, but also a movie about a rock star. The audience is invited to make inferences and assumptions based on what we know about the rock star archetype.

Baz Luhrmann made a comment in a behind-the-scenes interview, that Elvis had a mythic, hard-to-wrap-our-minds-around life, one that conforms to both the ancient Greek heroic tragedy and the American Dream narrative. So naturally I am obsessed with this idea. Let's get into it.

i. Greek hero stories, glory, the classic character arc.

I'm not an expert in Greek mythology, but I'm no slouch either. The ancient world greatly valued this thing, which has many names in many different cultures. You can see it in Genesis, the concept of having a great name, and the power that comes with it. It's a not-quite-abstract but not-quite-actual, metaphysical substance. For the Greeks, we'll call it glory. Glory is gained by accomplishing heroic feats: killing monsters, fighting in wars, and going on quests. Glory comes with fame, reputation, power, respect, money, women, and often supernatural abilities which give the owner the ability to accomplish more heroic feats, thereby gaining more glory. It is the vocation of heroes to pursue glory. Along with the ability to pursue glory, comes the desire for more. The more you have, the more you want. In fact, it's almost addictive.

The other thing about glory: it's corruptive. The longer you have it, the more things you are willing to do to get more, and the more power you have to do those possibly morally dubious things.

Most Greek heroes were demigods. They were born with a little bit of glory already inside them. This compelled them to seek more glory, and since they were demigods, they had a leg up when it came to getting it; they already had some supernatural strength and a powerful parent. They did heroic feats, achieved glory, received the power, fame, and wealth that came with the glory, were compelled to seek after more, and so on and so forth. Most Greek heroes had one or a mixture of two fates. 1) They died. Either they were in a situation where they were prevented from seeking more glory, so they wasted away, or they were killed in the pursuit of glory by an enemy, monster, or possibly by another hero. 2) They became corrupted. This often happened in ironic, cruel-twist-of-fate ways. One of the villains they fought in their youth was an evil king who murdered his own children, so somehow they ended up becoming a king who murdered his own children, something like that. You know the story: "You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain," or the classic, "You've become the very thing you swore to destroy."

ii. The American Dream Narrative.

A common literary trope, the American Dream story is appealing and inspirational, at least at first glance. The structure is pretty simple: The hero is born poor, with nothing but some talent and/or charisma. Due to a mixture of savviness, charm, hard work, and luck, the hero rises to the top and achieves the Dream of money, renown, independence, and freedom. The deconstruction of the American Dream is just as common in fiction. There's a catch, things don't go according to plan, the illusion fails, your luck runs out, etc. There is both so much hope and optimism, and so much mistrust and jadedness surrounding the American Dream. Can it be real?

iii. Elvis Presley.

Elvis was born with a little bit of something. He was born with beauty, charm, and musical talent; a star quality. These qualities of his drove him to use them. Nothing huge at first, but he always had high aspirations; he believed he could go somewhere. The more heroic feats he accomplished (performing and recording music and making movies), the more glory (or fame) he got. The more glory he got, the more he sought; gradually it became addictive. Soon, the corruptive quality of the glory reared its head.

Imagine an arc; the glory propelled him to the top of that arc, along with everything else the glory promises: money, fame, recognition, love, women, power. Up to a point, the glory is a positive force, but once the hero reaches the top of that arc, it becomes a more sinister thing; it starts pushing him down the other side. It starts to corrupt not only the hero but the people around him. While on the upward climb, the glory is like a magic elixir that grants wishes, but on the descent, it becomes more like drinking poison. Elvis's drug addiction and eating disorder seem like an on-the-nose literary device to symbolize this, but no! It happened.

What about the American Dream? He's the poster boy! Born absolutely dirt poor, with nothing but some talent and a dream. With a fortuitous mixture of charisma, hard work, meeting the right people at the right time, and being in the right place at the right time, he rose to the top. He also managed to nab (or be nabbed by) a business-savvy manager with a carnival background. It could only be the American Dream because Elvis, his music, his career, and his fashion were all uniquely American; he couldn't have come from anywhere else in the world, at any other time in history. Rock 'n Roll, the US Army, Hollywood, and Las Vegas, are inseparable from America.

I saw a person saying that the message of Elvis is that the American Dream is unattainable, but I disagree. It is attainable, but that's not the whole story. The movie presents the American Dream more as a deal with the devil. You'll get everything you ever wanted! But then you'll have to pay the price. To gain the American Dream is to open yourself to the ravages of American consumerism and celebrity idol worship. It's to make yourself vulnerable to the vultures, while you fatten yourself on the riches they feed to you. I don't think the movie portrays Elvis as a completely duped, innocent victim. While he was sometimes force-fed the glory (or the pills), many times he swallowed them consciously, willingly, losing the people who were actually looking out for him and truly loved him to forces outside his control, or due to his own choices. He was not immune to the corruptive power of fame and glory; no one is. That's the tragedy.

Anyway, I don't know how to conclude, but this isn't a school assignment so who cares? Baz Luhrmann is a genius, wow what a good movie, I can't wait to watch it again, I didn't even say anything about the soundtrack or Austin Butler's awe-inspiring performance, I love you Austin Butler,* I wrote this instead of a book report for school, it was worth it, I don't even care if no one reads it, I had fun, now to get on with my life.

*edit: his work, that is, and I admire his devotion to his craft. My point is not that we can’t be fans of celebrities. I believe that ALL human beings are worthy of love and dignity, NO human beings are worthy of another human’s worship, and such an attitude is as damaging to the worshipped as it is to the worshiper, and that SOME human beings, by virtue of extraordinary talent, are worthy of additional respect and admiration. I respect and admire Elvis Presley, Baz Luhrmann, and Austin Butler for being talented artists. The English language being what it is, love is the word we often use to sum all that up, but seeing as I just wrote this whole thing, I thought I’d clarify ✌️

[valeffelees]

only bad thing about being in a fandom where one of the characters canonically has wings is the painful lack of classic wingfic. where is my everything's the same but people have bird wings watford au where one day baz notices simon hasn't been grooming his wings bc of an injury to his ribs so he sits on his bed and makes a whole fuss about how "i'm not doing this to be nice, snow, your wings are just a travesty to look at" and then proceeds to carefully and lovingly tidy his feathers in drawn out silence while they both pretend grooming someone else's wings isn't one of the most intimate things you can do for another person. will this heartbreak never end

[themyscirah]

Simon's flash forward of the future being Jess' first appearance... 🤵🏾‍♂️💍👰🏽‍♀️ anyone???

[shrekgogurt]

Thanks for the tags today! @martsonmars @hushed-chorus @artsyunderstudy @tea-brigade @fatalfangirl @palimpsessed

I’ve been deep in my creative brain thoughts. Not all the creativity has been fandom based which is fun too! All this to say, I’m feeling incredibly fulfilled creatively at the moment. It’s a nice feeling :-)

I signed up for COBB! While I’ve had this certain idea since October, all the discussion on the discord last night prompted me to draft a little. Nevertheless, literally all of it would give away the premise so here are two sentences with heavy redaction:

Everyone loves a good Cinderella story. Well, until Cinderella [REDACTED] during [REDACTED] [REDACTED] at [REDACTED] [REDACTED].

Wasn’t that fun!? Believe me, any other excerpt would be even more [REDACTED]… 

Thank you for all the love on Escape to Space! Y’all treat a girl too well! If you read Chapter 2 within the hour I posted it, go back because I definitely added more. I’m nothing if not a chronically irresponsible post-posting editor. I’ve been obsessively listening to the entirety of the Muse album Black Holes and Revelations for spacey vibes I cannot be held responsible if its influence bleeds into my writing. (*cough* Starlight *cough*)

I shall now grant you this sexy little dialogue outline for good behavior:

“Kiss me.” "What? "Kiss me right now." "Is this really the time?" "YES!" "Oh shit, okay. Yeah, yeah, so..." (action ensues) "Fuck. Sorry." "Well don't stop."

I aimed to get this post out earlier in the day as to not tag people too late, and then I proceeded to not do that. So, if I tag you and you don’t want to do it (or I've missed your post today)…then don’t lmao!

@asocialpessimist @aristocratic-otter @aroace-genderfluid-sheep @bazzybelle @boyinjeans @cutestkilla (A HARMONIZING GOD) @chen-chen-chen-again-chen @ebbpettier @facewithoutheart @ileadacharmedlife @ivelovedhimthroughworse @larkral @moodandmist (FANTASTIC FUCKING SONG BTW) @onepintobean @philaet0s @raenestee @sailorblossoms @stardustasincocaine @theearlgreymage (you are filed as Jessica Rabbit in my brain now, I hope you know) @upuntil6am @wellbelesbian @whogaveyoupermission @yellobb @you-remind-me-of-the-babe

[thecooler]

As I scramble to finish my three art secret Santas I ask myself: why the fuck did you sign up for three art secret Santas

[yther]

uhhhhh those fort minor lyrics or something:

this is 10% pluck, 20% ill,

15% he'd be runnin' up that hill,

5% blocked, 50% (on the) nature of rain

and 100% your season to reiterate my naeaeem

WHHHUU!

this is fame hate?... I am so Having So Much Attention Wow 💐 Kinda cool tbh, as a usual lurker.

Even if it's the hateful 8 or 400 lady m8's drinking wine:

8.675.309.....

-even grapes of wrath taste divine when they grow on such ripe harvest vines!

. . ...it's a delicious caprisun trail? you're all very cute juice pouches and this isn't a bit, so btw:

I do not see ...your own ..indignity. (posts,urls,etc) which are your bots or bile. Talk about sitting in the vile pile?

Clearly I have no dignity to maintain, so this pity should feel especially shitty... unless you're granting me the position of More Dignified tm, Classy even?

You have given secondhand embarrassment to Me. The clown.

something abt power dynamics and I don't want to make it sexual but I am still here with you.. and using my stuff...so obviously I'm into it. 🐄 🐮🐃

(that might be my...my actual Bad. but kink shaming illegal here tumblr rules sry)

[ionlydrinkhotwater]

OK you know what is so funny to me, I love Fiona but I think it's hilarious how her punk clothes, attitude and apartment mask how she is such a spoiled entitled princess. Shes living off her trustfund, She does not believe in the council being democratic, she harps on Baz about how they own everything (Watford, council seats, etc) how she should never be punished for ANYTHING cause she's a Pitch. Nico even says when they were kids they got away with everything cause Natasha couldn't bring herself to punish her baby sis. She believes she's the state (she will hunt vampires except the ones she likes cause what she wants she gets). Even teen Bazs unpleasant political views probably came from Fiona. I love that Baz is fully aware of this, he loves her but he knows how ridiculous his aunt is. And I'm sure Simon, who was an angry, poor, disenfranchised youth who has been screwed by the system sees Fiona who uses the rhetoric and fashion of angry, poor, disenfranchised youths who've been screwed by the system for her *aesthetic* is all 🙄😒

[skeedelvee]

Cursed poll time!!!

[prettygoododds]

Thank you @artsyunderstudy for the tag and for every other person who has tagged me the last few weeks. I saw, I appreciate it more than you know.

It’s been awhile, I know. Things have just been….they’ve just been. I couldn’t get out of my funk. But, I pulled out my laptop last night and decided I was either gonna stare at it for 30 minutes or do the typey type thing for 30 minutes. A few hours later, I had some decent words to show for it.

This is a blurb from my COBB piece. Enjoy!

“Did you keep track of anyone from school? You know, after we all went and did our thing.”

Penny has just barely sat down, but the eyeroll she gives me is one that is usually reserved for later in the night when she’s about done with me and had too many glasses of wine to even pretend otherwise.

“Just ask what you want to ask. I’m not in the mood to play 6 Degrees of Baz Pitch.”

“That’s not fair,” I say, pretending to be offended. “Maybe I just want to know if Trixie ever became a vet like she wanted.”

“She didn’t, she runs a non-profit for LGBTQ+ youths in Richmond,” she rattles off without even thinking about it.

“Ok then,” I say.

“Ok then,” Penny says back, leaning back in the booth and smiling innocently at me.

There’s a whopping two seconds of silence before I’m ready to burst at the seams.

Tags: @ic3-que3n @dohrnaira @thewholelemon @facewithoutheart @imagineacoolusername @shemakesmeforget @ivelovedhimthroughworse @wellbelesbian @rimeswithpurple @aristocratic-otter @cutestkilla @blackberrysummerblog @nausikaaa @supercutedinosaurs @nightimedreamersworld @valeffelees @iamamythologicalcreature @shrekgogurt @ileadacharmedlife @martsonmars @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @hushed-chorus @roomwithanopenfire @youarenevertooold @noblecorgi

[azsazz]

Unwrapped

Azriel x Reader

Summary: Anon Request: Ok, if you can write closer to Christmas (or now), reader and Az family Christmas and the kids fighting to open presents and we definitely want Zuzu yelling at Baz "DROP MY GIFT NOW"

Warnings: None. Fluff.

Word Count: 2,661

Notes: Note quite Christmas but Starfall. Happy Holidays to you all! 💙

_________________________________________

“Incoming in three…two…one…”

Each number closer to zero is met with a press of your mate's lips against your own. A blissful way to wake up, until your horde of children burst into your room, shattering the calm morning.

“Mommy! Daddy! Wake up! It’s Starfall,” Zuzu squeals, racing into the room with her brothers hot on her heels. She’s the loudest so she’s in charge of rousing her parents from their sleep.

You nuzzle your head into Azriel’s neck who holds you tighter around the waist in return.

“Do you think they know we’re awake?” you try and can feel his smile against your temple.

“Yes, mommy, we know you’re awake,” Baz answers for you, unamused. Damn those shadows.

You roll onto your back, keeping your hand tucked in Azriel’s as you assess all of your children. 

The two oldest, Wren and Baz, are carrying the two youngest against their hips like they’d been doing so much more recently. Wren must’ve taken the twins out of their cribs to join in on what seems to be becoming a tradition; waking their parents up on Starfall morning to open their gifts.

Zuzu and Jax must be on waking you and your mate duty as they’re already climbing up into your bed. Your oldest daughter, ever the determined one, uses all of her strength to pull herself up onto the plush bed, only slipping once.

She bounds over to Azriel’s side, abandoning her younger brother, and steps on your legs in the process.

Jax’s face is scrunched up in the cutest way as he watches Zuzu maneuver her way across the strewn limbs of her parents before his wide eyes settle on you, staring at you just like Azriel does sometimes. The kind of look you get where you’re supposed to know exactly what he wants.

You counter it with your own stare, facing off with your fourth born. His eyes barely peek over the edge of the bed, little hands fisting the sheets in his grasp and you know he’s standing up on his little tiptoes by the way he wobbles every so often. You bite back your smile, leaning over to scoop him up from the floor.

“Is the sun even up?” you groan playfully, smoothing back Jax’s hair. He makes a sigh of contentment, immediately burrowing into the warm space he’d wedged himself between you and your mate. You know the rest of your eager children had woken him up for this. “Because I feel like it’s not.”

“Mommy,” Baz whines, readjusting Knox on his hip. You can’t help but puff out a laugh, sharing an amused look with Azriel. Your second oldest looks everything like you right now; hip jutted out with Knox resting there, the tranquil babe lying his head on his brother's shoulder. The knowing look he’s sending you is an exact replica of the face you make when they’re doing something they shouldn’t be. “We can’t sleep!”

Zuzu’s taken position, jumping on the bed by her father. Ever the safeguard, Azriel rolls away from you, his heart jumping in his chest because she’s not only being reckless with his wings so close to where her tiny feet are pounding into the bed, but how she’s so close to the edge and can tumble off at any moment.

She giggles when he snatches her up, pressing kisses to the apples of her cheeks.

Wren is the first to break because Malos makes a startling noise in his arms. His parents have already captured two of the six of them and their bed looks so warm and comfortable and he forgot to put on his socks this morning because he was too excited about presents and now he can hardly feel his toes. Maybe if he presses them against the warmth of his fathers back it will help drive his daddy from the bed…

“Wren,” Baz exclaims, watching how his oldest brother plops Malos down onto the bed before climbing up right after her. “What are you doing?”

Wren shrugs, sidling right up against Az’s side, lounging contently next to his father while he tickles Zuzu, “Sorry Baz, my toes are cold.”

To emphasize, he presses them flush to Azriel’s bare skin, which causes him to grab onto Zuzu and Malos as he flinches, which causes Jax in the middle to startle, whimpering in his cocoon of warmth, which in turn makes you give Azriel that exact look Baz had entered the room with.

Azriel laughs as your second oldest protests.

“But the presents–”

“The presents can wait Bazzy,” you respond, opening your arms up for the rest of your boys, “Come on. I know you want cuddles too.”

“I want presents,” he protests, taking a step closer to the door. He’s stubborn, you’ll give it to him, hazel eyes hard with determination. He looks down at the youngest sibling, murmuring into his mused hair, “C’mon Knoxie, you and me will go open presents.”

But when Knox makes grabby hands towards you there’s nothing he can do. Even though his older brother and Zuzu had been adamant about wanting to tear into the nicely wrapped presents without their parents, they’ve betrayed him and are cozied up in the large bed with them.

He should’ve talked her out of starting without you and Az.

“Traitor,” he whispers against Knox’s forehead, but he doesn’t mean it. It’s followed by a sweet kiss to his brother’s smooth skin who offers him a wobbly grin and a pinch to his cheek in return.

He passes Knox to you who immediately settles onto your chest, beaming at the rest of his siblings already tucked up with you and Azriel. He pats Jax’s head who’s almost back asleep again, gently brushing his hair with his chubby one-year-old hands.

Baz reluctantly follows, the last of the six to arrive. He tugs the blanket over himself, leaning his head against your shoulder, pouting. You rest your head against his, poking his jutting pink lip until he sighs, grabbing your hand to move it from his face and clutching it tightly in his own.

“I want to open presents, mom.”

“I know baby,” you respond just as softly because now he’s whispering like he doesn’t want his siblings to hear. “Let’s give it a few minutes, yeah?”

He sighs but agrees, “Okay. But I get to open the first present, right?”

“I think you might have to fight Zuzu for that honor, baby.” The two of you turn to watch your daughter who’s currently wrestling with her oldest brother. Wren’s laughing but you can tell it’s a bit nervous because his sister is not holding back.

“Cut it out, you two,” you scold, hitting Azriel lightly on the chest because he’s lying there watching the battle unfold, proud as ever.

“Hey,” he whines and your children have definitely picked that up from him. He carefully leans over Jax to press an apology kiss to your lips.

Your children groan in unison and it makes you smile against your mate’s mouth as they scramble from the bed. The cuddles were short lived because they’re dragging Knox and Malos out of you and Azriel’s arms, already cheering and yelling about opening presents once again.

Azriel curses softly against your mouth, “Sorry, my Love. I ruined it because I can’t stay away from you.”

You hum, reveling in the feeling of his lips on yours and the warmth down the bond. “It’s alright,” you brush the hair back from his face, admiring the loving look in his gleaming eyes and the soft smile on his face, “Just means that you’re on cleaning duty.”

Azriel huffs, “Think I can talk Wren into doing it?”

You laugh wholeheartedly because Wren would help his father if he asked. Azriel’s his hands tighten around your waist at the sound.

“We better go before Baz and Zuzu tear the house apart,” you sigh, a lazy smile on your face from your cheeky mate. It melts into a wince as you hear the two of them arguing loudly downstairs.

“Happy Starfall, Love.”

“Happy Starfall, Az.”

.·:·.☽ ✦ ☾.·:·.

You and Azriel make your way downstairs hand in hand, sweet murmurs of your plans for the day. Presents, a nice big family breakfast, followed by cleaning up the strewn about present wrappings and preparing the food while your children play, waiting for the rest of the Inner Circle to come over later in the day.

You and your mate had always wanted to host a Starfall party for your family and friends and with Knox and Malos finally stumbling around on their own you thought it was the perfect year. Your home is still new and large enough not only for your own family but for the rest of it as well, a large yard with a nice patio to watch the stars shooting across the sky. To say that you were excited was an understatement. 

You’d sat outside with Azriel under the stars plenty of times since you’d moved in, and with your home being on the outskirts of the city you were convinced that the stars were so much brighter out here. You loved to gather all of your children around on the warm summer nights and point out different star clusters, telling them stories around the bonfire while snacking on delicious treats.

And now you’ll have a winter tradition as well.

.·:·.☽ ✦ ☾.·:·.

You walk into the room of pure chaos.

Wren has pushed the coffee table out of the way, sitting with Knox and Malos on the carpet who are clapping, your youngest daughter babbling as they watch Baz and Zuzu argue over a gift.

You share a look with Azriel, giving him a soft nod and a squeeze to his hand. 

Ready to be in parent mode.

Jax pads up to the both of you, his lower lip wobbling due to all of the heightened emotions in the room. He’s attuned to the feelings of others and at his young age he doesn’t understand how to differentiate between his and other’s emotions, often resulting in an overwhelmed babe.

Rhysand had said he was showing signs of being an empath, being as introverted as he is and highly sensitive to how others are feeling, along with the fact that your fourth born seemed more content playing by himself rather than with his siblings and cousins.

The fact that the only other arms he felt content in being in are Amren’s was surely a sign, calm in the apathetic females hold.

“Come here buddy,” Azriel greets, scooping the babe into his arms and cradling him close. He runs a soothing hand through his hair and presses kisses into his hair, taking a moment just to be with Jax, letting the child feel his own undisturbed emotions, letting his love wash over the little boy, who you watch visibly relax in his fathers arms.

You love how Azriel is with the kids.

“It has my name on it,” Baz draws your attention, arguing with Zuzu, trying to rip the gift out of her hands.

“No, it’s mine! Drop it now Baz!”

“Hey,” you take action, mommy mode on, letting Jax and Azriel have their moment so maybe he’ll want to participate with unwrapping gifts. “No fighting or no one’s getting gifts.”

Wren spring up before you can make it all the way, snagging the gift from both of their hands. His brother and sister protest like yowling cats but he doesn’t care, reading the tag on the box instead. He’ll be damned if they ruin opening gifts for the entire family.

“Sorry, Bazzy, this one is for Zuz,” he hands the gift to his sister, who sticks her tongue out at Baz in response.

Wren’s already digging around in the pile of presents for one with Baz’s name on it though, pulling one out with a yelp of excitement and handing it to his younger brother, “This one’s for you, B!”

“Sweet,” Baz gawps, taking the gift from his brother before waving it in his sister's face, “And look at that, it’s bigger than yours, Zuz!”

The glare he gets in response makes him back down real fast.

.·:·.☽ ✦ ☾.·:·.

Jax has fallen asleep again, curled up with the stuffed Suriel he was gifted, the sudden rush of emotions from the morning had exhausted him.

You worry for him, but know that Azriel will do everything in his power to make sure that Jax stays comfortable and safe, getting the help he needs when he’s old enough to understand his own gifts.

Azriel comes up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist and resting his head on your shoulder.

It was an eventful morning, wrapping strewn about and six happy children. There’s nothing more you can ask for, this is everything you’ve ever wanted.

“I didn’t give you your present, Love,” Azriel’s voice is soothing and soft but the pinch you receive to your hind is not.

You yelp, hand automatically wrapping around his wrist to stop his cheeky antics. Your eyes widen with warning but the saccharine scent sweeping off of you betrays your true feelings, the swoop in your stomach, weak from just a single touch from your mate, even after all of these years.

“I need to get into the kitchen,” your cheeks pink up at the look he’s giving you when you turn in his arms, a suggestive smile to match that glimmer in his eyes, “I have seven hungry mouths to feed.”

You lean into his warmth, wrapping your arms around his neck to hold him there as you admire him, loving the feeling of his body pressed up against yours, that familiar hardening against your leg.

“Let me help you then,” he gives you a long kiss, thumbing across your cheek in a loving manner.

You pull apart as your oldest daughter comes running into the room, skidding to a halt where you’re tangled with your mate, looking up at the both of you with the face you recognize as the one Azriel can never say no to.

You wait, watching amused as Zuzu begs Azriel to play with her new dolls with her until her cousins come over.

Azriel looks at you helplessly and you can’t help but smile softly at him, “Go.” You pat his ass once, twice. He melts, giving you a grateful kiss in return before he reaches down for his daughter's hand.

“You sure?” he asks but Zuzu is already dragging him away.

You laugh, shrugging, “I’ll ask Wrennie and Baz if they want to help.”

“Help what mommy?” Baz perks up, cheeks going cherry red when you shoot him a look because he knows he’s not supposed to be eavesdropping with his shadows. 

“Sorry,” he utters bashfully, waving a stuffed toy that rattles in front of Knox and Malos.

You approach your other children, the two oldest trying to distract the youngest so they can sneak away and play with their own new toys.

“I was going to ask if you wanted to help me with breakfast?”

They both light up at your question, beaming at each other. Baz is a natural in the kitchen, always wanting to help in some way, shape, or form, wanting to learn anything and everything about cooking and Wren just loves to be included no matter what the task.

You scoop up Malos, bringing her new toy with her. Wren helps by wrangling Knox into his arms as Baz races towards the kitchen, buzzing with excitement. Jax is still snoozing peacefully and you’ll put the twins in their chairs while you and your boys cook as you’ve done many times before. Jax will come find the rest of you when he’s good and ready, most likely he’ll be looking for sleepy cuddles, his and your favorite.

“So, what will it be boys, pancakes or waffles?”

[erensonly]

ok so barry posted his wife and his mom for mother’s day (not for us americans i almost panicked) and i went to his moms account bc i’m nosy, and she calls him baz🥹 that is so cute.

now i’m thinking abt cute nicknames to give price. any thoughts?

[bazzybelle]

Good Omens 2 and Wayward Son - A Fan's Commentary on Fandom Reactions

I’m going to start off by saying apologies for any obvious grammatical errors. I am writing purely from the heart here. 

Also, apologies to my Sandman friends. If you haven’t read The Simon Snow Trilogy, this will go over your heads. However, I have been going back and forth on writing this meta since the release of Good Omens 2, and I just finished reading a spectacular meta on queer ships becoming canon by @avelera, which you can find here (read it, it’s brilliant). Anyway, I feel now’s a good time to let out all of my feelings when it comes to Good Omens 2 and how similar it was to reading Wayward Son. 

Simon Snow friends, you all know that Wayward Son is my favourite book out of the trilogy. You also know that this can be considered a controversial take within the fandom. And I don’t mean that in a toxic way, this fandom is one of the more wholesome fandoms I’ve seen; But in the way of like… Wayward Son is itself a polarizing book. 

I say this, knowing full well what went down when Wayward Son was released. Perhaps I had the advantage of not being completely embroiled within the Simon Snow  fandom until after I’d finished reading the book, but I lived on the periphery. I followed Rainbow on Twitter (fuck you, I am not calling it X), I had saved some artwork on Pinterest (before I found out those were stolen, wherein I immediately unpinned them and deleted my fandom folders), and I was excited to get Wayward Son as soon as it came out. So much so that I asked my husband to go to the Indigo near his office and buy it because I wanted to read it right away. 

Friends, I demolished that book within a DAY. 

Then I read it again. And again. And again. 

Then I wrote my first fanfiction in eight years. 

This book changed me. But you all know that. I’ve talked about it often, and that’s not what this meta (Editorial? Opinion piece? Shouting into the void?) is about. 

What I am going to talk about is the amount of pure vitriol this book got once it was released. There was SO MUCH complaining about the book. It was too short! There was no point to it! Why aren’t Simon and Baz having sexy vampire sex? Why aren’t they living together (never mind that this was briefly discussed at the end of Carry On, but go off I guess)? 

And you know what’s even funnier? Within a couple of weeks (it might have even been days, I’m a little fuzzy on timelines) Rainbow announced the third book. We knew, right away, that Wayward Son was meant to be an in-between book! Rainbow, being a fandom person herself, has said time and time again that she had always considered Wayward Son as an in-between book, structured like The Empire Strikes Back within the Star Wars original trilogy. Like think of the in-between books of any series, they are ALWAYS the darkest ones. In order to fully appreciate the win in the end, you need to go through the tough shit. 

What I loved about Wayward Son was it took that idea and spun it. It went all “ok, yeah we dealt with the win, now let’s deal with the aftermath. Only then can we have the makeouts and sexy times these guys deserved.”  (and damn, did Any Way The Wind Blows deliver on that promise).

But I am getting away from myself again. Point is, it was always meant to be an in-between book. There was always meant to be a resolution at the end of the trilogy. But that sure as hell didn’t stop people from outright demanding Rainbow give them the happy ending NOW. Pestering her on Twitter, (not so much on Tumblr) demanding she do this, or do that, or “you better not kill Baz” (even though she has ALWAYS SAID SHE NEVER WOULD) or “they better not break up” (even though, narratively, it was heading in that direction). The closer the book got to release date, the more people complained about how awful Wayward Son was. 

It was really disheartening to see. 

Which is why I got really upset when the SAME THING happened after the release of Good Omens 2. 

(For clarification purposes, because several of my friends have spoken to me about their own personal issues with Good Omens 2. And you are all super fucking valid. I am strictly referring to the amount of anger I saw online because although Aziraphale and Crowley kissed, they didn’t have an immediate happily ever after. I am also speaking of the anger expressed because the season wasn’t wrapped up in a neat little bow.)

Like with the release of Wayward Son, people seemed to have forgotten that season 2 of Good Omens was meant to be an inbetween season. Neil Gaiman has not been shy to talk about that. He has said over and over again that Season 2 was always meant to be a bridge between the Good Omens he and Terry Pratchett wrote together, and the sequel they had been planning. 

What… did you all just forget about that? Do you not know how narrative writing works? 

It’s like people refused to take a step back and breathe for a second and appreciate the season for what it was. A beautiful romantic story (because, IT WAS! Just like Neil said it would be), as well as a lead up into what will be the epic, dramatic conclusion. No, instead people started demanding the happy ending NOW, and getting angry when Neil wouldn’t budge and offer more information (even though he never has before) (funny how people just… forgot that).

It was Wayward Son all over again.

Yeah, I’m not going to lie, I was crushed with the way Good Omens 2 left off. Just like I was so confused when Wayward Son ended out of the blue. You know what I did about that? I wrote fic, I read the book again, and I happily anticipated the upcoming final part that would tie up all the loose ends.

Know what I’m doing to heal after Good Omens 2? I’m looking at gifs, rewatching episodes, laughing at memes and crack, and hoping to all the gods of story writing that Amazon approves of a third season, so that Neil Gaiman can be allowed to finish the story he and Terry Pratchett built together.

It’s become sad to watch this feral hunger from fans demanding immediate gratification, and getting upset when it isn’t the ending or gratification they were expecting. Wayward Son came out after years of Carry On fans having nothing else but the one book. Like I said, I wasn’t part of the fandom then, so I don’t know how fans from 2015 felt upon learning they’d get more Simon and Baz. Same with Good Omens. I only really got into the fandom a few months before season 2 came out. So I don’t know how OG fans felt waiting and waiting and waiting. So maybe I have that going for me as an advantage, that my hunger wasn’t growing more and more feral. 

Then again, I’m now a part of The Sandman fandom, and we’re essentially waiting on Season 2 to start development. And while I’m hoping a few things are tweaked (like Dream and Hob’s relationship), I’d be more than fine if it stays the same as in the comics. And if they decide to go about that in an entirely different way, I’d be fine with that too. You know why? Because I’ve learned to trust the writers of the stories I love not to lead me astray. 

And if I’m unhappy with something –because nothing is ever 100% perfect, and even my favourite stories end up coming short– there are always fanfictions to write, gifs to laugh at, and fandom friends to discuss plots and meta with. 

I may have lost the point of this meta. I tend to do that, following a train of thought that doesn’t always make sense in the end. 

Fandom friends, can we all just agree to take a breath and be thankful of the stories given to us? Can we learn to appreciate the entire picture, and not just a tiny section of it? And for the love of all that is holy, can we learn to be patient and to listen when our story tellers remind us to wait and see? To trust them when they assure us that our characters will have a happy ending, even if they need to traverse a little in the dark to get there?

I sure as hell am, and I hope you will too. 

Gonna tag @carryonsimoncarryonbaz because she was instrumental in encouraging me to write this.

[facewithoutheart]

Today in fics I’m never going to write but keep thinking about: Baz getting hit with amnesia shortly before the events of WS and being told he’s dating some guy with wings and a tail who never gets off the sofa. And he’s like, “Yeah I don’t see it,” which is kind of heartbreaking but also kind of a giant release of pressure for Simon because, “Oh he doesn’t know what I’ve lost,” and they become tentative friends. Baz of course loves Penny and they nerd out trying to figure out what’s caused Baz’s amnesia. There’s no real incentive for Baz to get his memories back except, “They’re my memories, Simon. Don’t you think I’m owed them?” To which Simon just smiles sadly and misses the way Baz used to call him Snow. But it’s fine! Honestly! Simon keeps downplaying what they had. Telling little stories like, “Oh that’s the time you spelled my laptop shut nbd,” and, “Yeah I got locked out in the cold all night but the stars were really pretty,” and Baz is like… and you dated me??? But there’s also moments where Simon explains he broke Baz’s nose and tried to out him as a vampire, and Baz just doesn’t get it, them, at all.

Except… okay so maybe it hasn’t escaped Baz’s notice how attractive Simon is. And there are moments when he gets off the couch that he’s shockingly funny, and sweet. He sometimes slips into quiet but Baz has started to piece together what’s happened and maybe that makes sense. It’s not like he has anything to say, either. “What would I have to offer in conversation, Simon? I barely even know my own name.” And they sit together on the sofa and watch television. It’s… something.

Insert a bit of Baz spiral with Baz wondering, “is this what made me fall? Is this?” As he keeps looking for the spark, the reason, the moment he fell for Simon Snow.

I’m not sure what the conflict is here. Maybe Baz overhears Dr. Wellbelove talking to Simon about the Mage? Maybe there’s a Fiona intervention? A Malcolm one? But at some point there’s some big argument where Baz confronts Simon and they’re screaming at each other and then Baz bursts into laughter. And Simon’s like wtf Baz but Baz can’t stop laughing because of course this is it. Of course this is when he falls for Simon. When they’re screaming at each other.

But it’s not that, is it? It’s every time Simon smiled, and every time something on the television made him laugh and Simon’s first reaction is to look at Baz. And it’s how he teases Penny and hasn’t pressured Baz to get his memories back. Just accepts him as he is. Helps him hunt. Maybe yells at Fiona to back off when Baz doesn’t get his memories back fast enough. It’s how Simon Snow is alive, alive, alive, he’s full of life and that’s when it all comes rushing back. All of his memories falling like rain all over Baz; not a flood but a cleansing. It’s not overwhelming to love Simon it’s never been and having this outside perspective on who Simon is and what he’s been through independent of Baz’s issues has reminded Baz of what he’s fighting for.

Baz finally stops laughing. He walks over to Simon, presses both hands to his cheeks, says, “Snow,” then kisses him. And of course Baz hasn’t called Simon “Snow” this whole time so Simon knows Baz’s memories are back.

Ok and insert more angst: Simon immediately pushes Baz off and walks out their door. Because it’s been easy letting Baz in hasn’t it? He didn’t know what Simon lost. Who he used to be. He finally understood, didn’t he? The arsehole… ever since Baz lost his memories he knew better. He knew what Simon had always known: that Simon is nothing. Not the Chosen One, not even a mage. God not even Normal. Just a chewed up bit of empty space with wings and a tail. A freak. Wasn’t it nice, getting to know Baz without any of that history? Without any of the pressure? I mean sure sometimes Simon wanted to pounce on him and snog him senseless or hold his hand when the movie they were watching got scary. And Baz kept doing things for Simon like getting him the brand of cider he likes best and making sandwiches for him when he forgot to eat. And spending time with him without huffing about how Simon was wasting his life and not looking at Simon like he could see who used to be there: someone. Someone who mattered. And that’s what it’s gonna be now, right? More pointed looks and disappointed smiles and knowing, always knowing and never saying that Baz is too good for him.

Didn’t he know Simon Snow was meant to be alone?

Oooh okay maybe Simon just like, rage runs back to the flat and slams open the door and is like, “How dare you?” But he’s not even sure what he’s saying. He’s not even sure what he’s thinking. All he knows is that he wants Baz, any version of Baz, even the one who thinks he’s wasting his life because of course he’s missed that. He liked sitting next to Baz and watching shows and not feeling any pressure but god the way he felt when Baz was screaming at him. Simon’s got wings but he never feels like he can fly without Baz, next to him. Pushing him.

Because if Simon is alive alive alive it’s only because Baz makes him want to be. Baz has always been Simon’s reason, even when things were…

And then Simon’s kissing Baz, and Baz is kissing back, and maybe Simon can keep this. Maybe he can choose this.

Maybe he can try.

[dre6ming]

TDBR - the Oscars

TDBR series

Masterlist

TDBR imagines Masterlist - short stories

Instagram photo dump masterlist

To be added to my tag list click HERE

Pairing: Austin Butler x singer/ actress fem reader

Warning: fluff

Plot: after Austin wins his award you bump into his ex girlfriend into the Oscars bathroom.

Word count: 2000

Disclaimer: everything fake, no shade no nothing, just respect for all parties and remember this is all FICTIONAL

"Baby, I'll just go to the bathroom ok? I'll find you after?" I whisper to Austin who turns his head to smile at me. "Sure honey, you feeling ok?" He asks, his attention, that was previously directed at the lady engraving his name on the golden statue, now fully directed to me. "Yes, I just need to use the toilet." I explain, caressing his shoulder, giving his bicep a reassuring squeeze. "Ok, be careful!" I see him lean down to kiss me, but we are still not public so I take it upon myself to dodge the kiss. "Sorry." He mumbles, looking apologetic. "That's ok, see you soon!" I wave at him before turning around on my heels and finding my way to the bathroom.

I've got to admit it's pretty crazy, even now after all the success I've had in my career, to see myself surrounded by all these people I looked up to. I look to my right and there is Jamie Lee Curtis talking to Robert De Niro, so I have to stop for a second to just gawk at them. But only for a second, cause I don't want to be caught being a weird fangirl. As I keep walking trying to redeem myself, I bump into Pedro Pascal on the way. He and I are going to be starring in a new HBO series called "The last of us". We already filmed a couple of scenes but he and I have yet to be on set together. "Pedro, hi how are you?" He smiles at me. "I'm good good, you were incredible up there, looking fantastic. A big slay I'd say!" I can't help but laugh a bit too hard, resulting in a funny sound to come out of my nose. "Oh my, Ped, that's that's exactly right." I giggle wiping some tears from the corners of my eyes. "Listen I was on my way to the bathroom, so excuse me. Oh I almost forgot are you coming to Baz's after party? I think I send you the invite didn't I?" I ask. "Yes yes of course I'm coming, gotta watch out for my little girl." Pedro jokes, making us laugh at how serious he's taken to the role of the father figure for my character. "Ok dad." I scream running past him laughing. At this rate I'm collecting fathers like they're infinity stones.

The bathroom is not as full as I expected, that's mostly because all the big categories have been announced by now and a lot of people left for the after parties already. It's a bit tricky getting to do what I need to do in the long dark blue sequence dress, but I manage. I take a good look at myself in the mirror as I'm washing my hands, taking note that a bit of my mascara smudged, so I use a clean tissue paper to wipe that off.

"Excuse me?" A voice calls out as I'm concentrating on getting the mascara situation under control. I toss the tissue in the trash and turn around to see who was call me. I'm stunned the second I'm face to face with the person who just spoke. "(Y/n), oh my goodness I thought that was you, who else would wear a huge navy sequence dress." I can't believe my eyes, Vanessa Hudgens is standing in front of me, looking gorgeous in her black skin fitted dress. "Oh, um hi!" I put my hand out to shake, but she surprises me by pulling me into a tight hug. "You look so beautiful tonight by the way, I wanted to get to talk to you on the carpet, but you were caught up with other interviewers. I didn't want to crowd you." To be honest I avoided her on the carpet on purpose, sure my relationship with Austin isn't yet confirmed to the public and all, but the rumors are there and I'm sure she's seen most if not all of them. "Oh yeah, I was pretty crowded. It's a bummer I didn't get to talk to you, you always give such great interviews." I say, meaning every word, because in truth she is amazing at interviewing people and to not admit that would be a blasphemy. I wasn't avoiding her because I have something against her, in fact I'm actually a big admirer of hers. Austin told how things went down between them and I trust him, from his side nothing bad went down, but there was heartbreak and hurt so I can only imagine that for her it was at least as painful as it was for him, if not worse.

"That's ok, I'm sure we'll get to do it for another carpet, maybe at the Met this year if you're going." She's so sweet. "I think I am, it really depends on how my filming schedule goes."

"Oh hell yeah I saw you and Pedro Pascal got cast for that HBO series, congrats." I blush at all the compliments she's directing my way, toying with the necklace around my neck. "Vanessa, I-" the words just don't seem to come out of my mouth, because frankly I don't even know what I want to say. She seems to understand that I'm having a hard time communicating what I want to say and her features soften as her big smile comes a soft smirk. "Listen, I've seen the rumors, I don't hold it against you or him, if they are true. He was an amazing boyfriend and well maybe we both could've done better to stay together, but I don't think it was meant to be." I can see she speaks from the heart. "I just, I know his side of things, he only has good things to say about you, but.."

"Honey if the one thing holding you back is me, I want you to know you have my full support. Austin deserves to be happy, doesn't matter who it's the one taking care of that as long as he's happy." I'm surprised to say the least, but I think coming off of what Austin told me about her, I expected this kind of reaction from her. "That's so nice of you to say, I just-" she shushes me when the door opens and someone comes in. "Let's go out." She motions her head towards the door, looping her arm around mine and leading me out. "Thank you!" I whisper to her.

"So I need you to know there's no bad blood." She tells me truthfully. "I believe you, but with everything going on I just, I'm scared of people finding out and I don't know how much longer we can keep it under wraps, I mean you saw him." Vanessa seems to understand exactly what I mean. "Longing stares and tight hugs. Oh we've all seen him, you are clearly the better one at hiding all this." I laugh nervously, wondering just how bad Austin is making things look from an outside perspective. "It's not too bad." She chimes in, probably reading my thoughts. "Eh I can try and fool myself, but... in the end we will make it public so there's no more speculations, but we don't want that to overshadow our careers, so we wanted for award season to be over." I explain one of the reasons we're being so private. "I get that. Oh and here comes lover boy." She says looking over my shoulder and before I can turn my neck to look behind me, a hand settles on my hip. "Hey Nessa, what's up?" Austin says, pulling me closer to him.

Vanessa notices the small gesture, throwing me a knowing look. "Nothing much, just talking to (y/n). Congratulations by the way, it was well deserved!" She says, gesturing to the award he's holding in his other hand. "Did they engrave it?" I ask, looking down at it. "Yes, look how cool it looks." Austin says excitedly, holding it up for me to read. "Did they spell your name wrong?" I ask faking concern. "What?" He panics immediately taking a closer look at the award. I can't help but burst out laughing at him. "You little minx!" He teases kissing my cheek, before I get the chance to dodge it this time. "Austin!" I warn looking around worried someone might've noticed. "Sorry." He says quietly.

"Don't be, you look cute together. You actually seem very happy Aus, I'm glad for you. I have to get going now, but I wish you both the best. Have a good one!" She says. "Thank V, you look happy too, I saw you were engaged, how's that?" Austin asks her. His question makes me look down at her left hand, where there is in fact a big beautiful diamond ring. "He makes me happy. I'm glad we both got to be in love again. It suits you." Her words make me wonder how can she see that he's in love with me. I look at his face and don't see anything that could scream 'I'm in love', but like on cue he feels me looking at him, so he turns his head to me. That's when I see it, that glimmer in his eyes, the one that not only screams 'I'm in love' but also it projects it out into the world. "Yeah I think it does. She's the one thing that got me through this whole thing. I have you to thank for all of this, so thank you!" Austin tells her and I can see his words touched her.

"You're welcome Austin, send me an invite to the wedding." Vanessa says, giving him a quick hug and disappearing into the crowd. Wedding? His wedding? With me? She couldn't have meant that? Right? "What's wrong? Did she say anything?" Austin looks over my face and I catch myself in his eyes, looking terrified. "Oh no, no, she was actually really sweet." I avert my eyes from him, this way preventing him from looking straight into my soul as he usually does. "Then..? Oh was it the wedding comment?" Austin catches on either way. I blush deeply and try to shake my head, but there's no point in denying. "Honey she meant that as a joke, ok? I'm not proposing. Not now at least."

Not now, so he's thought about this. "Not now?" The words come out of my mouth before I can stop them. "I mean, maybe sometime in the future." Austin clarifies licking his lips anxiously. "Not the near future.." he keeps going hoping to calm me. "(Y/n) I know it’s too soon, but I can't lie and say that I haven't thought about marrying you, ok? I have and I know we are not ready yet."

"Yet? Ok but how will you know when I'm ready? Cause you might be ready faster than I am, since your older and I don't expect you to wait for me." Austin chuckles, brushing back his hair. "Honey, I would wait for you a thousand years and then a thousand more. And if you never want to get married, that's fine too. Now what do you say we go home and change to go to Baz's party?" Austin caresses my cheek, smiling softly at me. "Ok." I sigh, holding my dress up and walking towards the exit where Matt waits for us to drive us back to Austin's place so we could get changed for the after party.

"Can you believe I won this?" Austin asks still looking in disbelief at his award as I lean my head on his shoulder, looking down at the golden prize in his hand. "I can." I say, kissing his neck, feeling his hot skin against my red lips. "Now you're mine." I giggle as I lick my thumb to help clean off the red lip stain. "No, leave it." He says taking my hand and holding my knuckles. "Ok my winner! I love you!" I close my eyes and relax next to him. "I love you too!" Austin tells me kissing the top of my head, letting me lean on him.

Tags: @galaxygirl453 @rainydayz101 @samaraannhan20 @marlowmode @myradiaz @areuirish @micaelainthe60s @homebodybirkin2003 @pennyroyalcreep @purejasmine  @strokesofstokes @lanasfloridakiloss @denised916 @kibumslatina @macey234 @melodixs-blog @shantellescrivener @chewiethecatus @guacala @fangirl125reader @father-of-2cats @lucid315 @melodixs-blog @ilovehobi101 @richardslady121 @jensmithin @julie181 @chrisevansgirl34 @ranaissingle @onecrazydirectioner @maria-1287 @austinbutlerssimp @kingdomforapony @acoolnight @tarot-sybarite @goldenmarygio @frozenhuntress67 @anonyboo63478338 @littlewhiterose @thefallofthedamned @1eminicookie @rose-deathman @iheqrtaustin @desitravelsblog @prompted-wordsmith @austinsvlrslut @crystallizedth0t @hertvgirl @peanutbutterinacup @austinswhitewolf

[sailorblossoms]

Baz & biting Simon

(And why I think it’s ok if he never wants to do it)

I never thought about this before (maybe because I don't get the appeal of a vampire's bite, what with all the blood and the stabbing and being poisoned and the pain, but other people finding it hot isn't my business) (neck kisses though... that I get). I have seen the arguments in favor of Baz biting Simon, ranging from "I think that would be good for Baz's character development" to "I personally think it's hot." I accepted them (hell, I might have even thought of or written a biting scene considering the former, I don't remember) and that was that... until I saw the arguments in favor of respecting that Baz doesn't want to bite Simon.

For starters, one needs to consider what biting Simon would mean. People have read Baz's vampire nature as connected to his queerness – he often thinks about them in the same breath (very grimly including "which one is the one getting me discriminated against right now" scenarios... "I don't know if Daphne means me getting cured of the vampirism or the gayness" kinda puts homophobia on the same level as being against vampirism).

In that vein, Baz being alright with biting Simon as part of sexy times is seen as synonymous with Baz fully embracing his queerness; Baz loving every part of himself just like how Simon loves every part of him. This is where I would usually call it a day, but... actually, I don't think it's right to completely lean on the vampire identity as synonymous with his queer identity 100%. As a metaphor, it's not the only thing it can represent (I once read a good meta that saw the ways he has to plan around it etc as a metaphor for disability). In a more literal sense, the books give you enough to question the WOM's treatment of vampires. But seeing vampires in Las Vegas getting smart about drinking blood without killing doesn't erase the predatory nature associated with them... so I think it's a delicate conversation that needs to know where to draw lines, where to connect, and where to separate things.

I think much comes out of the scene where Simon says there's "nothing about you I don't want." But one also needs to consider that, while Simon absolutely means it (which is a powerful thing to convey to Baz, who has always felt he's loved in spite of who he is) when asked about why he wanted Baz to bite him, his answer to that specific question is not "I think that would be good for you" but "I personally think it's hot" (even if wanting to be with Baz when he hunts and "they should see him draining a deer!" or something highlights that it makes Simon happy and proud to see Baz getting his needs fulfilled without shame, "I want him to bite me, specifically" is more about Baz's hotness, compared to Simon wanting to try kinky stuff). And you can see that without him having to say it: when Baz is asking him about past sexual experience, Simon keeps trying to change the subject, eventually going to "I want to focus on actually sexy things, so you should let me watch you drink the nasty little rats I lovingly helped you catch."

So eventually we arrive at: it makes Baz uncomfortable to be asked this. It causes him distress, even. The fact that Simon would be into it, by itself, or even as motivation is... not a good reason to challenge Baz's feelings. One should never do anything they don't want or feel comfortable with sexually for someone else's sake. Centering Simon's desire over Baz's comfort is... well. Even more when Simon himself is just discovering desire and what it means to him – at this point, he doesn't actually know what he would be into, so he's just saying shit. All Simon actually knows is that he's into Baz, and all Baz-related things are a turn on (just like how Baz is like "wouldn't have considered myself a tail guy, but since Simon has one..." before giving him a tail job.) More importantly, I think Simon means it when he promises he won't bring it up again upon noticing Baz's distress. Simon wants to take care of him and make him happy – he won't push Baz to do anything that makes him uncomfortable (especially since Simon has experience with unwanted sexual situations, which has very likely contributed to his issues with intimacy) (I have many posts about that, finding them though...)

Then comes the point about self-acceptance. About how Baz deserves to love every part of himself as much as Simon loves him. Realistically, a lot of us have parts about ourselves that we don't like, parts that we can't change, but become okay with them by negotiating with them. Perhaps not really comparable, but just for the sake of giving an example: disliking one's body shape, but learning how to dress in a way that flatters it. Finding features we like and highlighting them. Learning how to manage bad moods.

I don't really think Baz needs to bite Simon to find any sort of self-acceptance. Baz is a natural caretaker. He has a soft heart. Even in a fight where he's in actual danger, he holds back – he doesn't want to hurt others (and only snaps if Simon is in danger or gets hurt). The predatory nature of a vampire goes against Baz's very core. And an essential part of that predation is in making humans targets. In putting humans at the bottom of a food chain. This is not something Baz can separate from a vampire bite, and he's not the type to be into about whatever role-power-play shenanigans that someone else could get out of that. When someone in Las Vegas is taking a sip, they have enough practice to let the human walk away alive, but for convenience – they don't give a shit about the actual human (I imagine people died in the process of figuring out when to stop and in mastering the control required for it). On top of that, Baz has trauma around hunting (killing) in a way that hurts him (pets). Simon is the person Baz loves the most – what Baz needs is not to put himself in a "predatory role" when Simon is the target. He doesn't need to put Simon in a position where there is even the slightest chance of Simon getting hurt, and worst of all: of Baz being responsible. Just the thought it's traumatizing for him. When Baz chooses to only eat certain types of animals (because pets too feed into his self-hatred) he's already negotiating with something about himself he doesn't like. He's turning something he hates about himself into something he can accept. Into something he can live with. I do think Baz has issues he needs to work on, but I don't think modifying his diet is required. The way in which he figured how to solve his drinking needs is pretty good when considering Baz's essence, his wants and needs. When considering how Baz wants to live his life.

Which takes me to health and immortality. Another argument in favor is that Baz will look more "healthy" if he were to drink human blood... but what else is there? Are optics important if Baz is still able to function healthily with his dietary choices? The only other thing human blood brings in this universe is immortality, something that's so unthinkable it's actually paralyzing for Baz. I've seen the idea that Baz should embrace that too; I disagree, and I fail to see an argument strong enough in favor ("it would be cool" for him? the hell it would). Immortality too goes against Baz's very nature: the idea of outliving everyone he has ever loved, for someone like Baz, would be the worst kind of torture. The fact that drinking human blood is the key to living forever just means there's actually not a single reason strong enough for Baz to have a change of heart. On the contrary: it's a good reason to fucking double down on his stance. "He could just take a little sip; enough to gain some color but not enough for immortality" But why? He can barely control when his fangs drop, why would he bother doing all that, when it implies trial and error with something that could risk Simon's safety? He wouldn't do it even if it meant just Simon getting a bit dizzy and shit.

Finally, there's the argument on why people would rather respect Baz's wishes. The thing that made me reconsider every single point in favor of biting and not finding them as strong as this. It's very simple, really, so I'll be brief here: it's the idea of having a boundary or hard line that others can't understand... that others believe it's something to "get over," that "can't be good for you," and needs to be changed. Something one "should grow out of," which heavily resonates with people who are in the acespectrum (I think the writing in these books are very ace friendly) or who are aromantic, or don't want to drink alcohol or do or want anything that society pressures us to do or want or else "something is wrong with us."

Baz not biting humans is a boundary that matters to him, even if biting doesn't end in death... His own experience with getting bitten sucked ass, anyway. It changed him in ways beyond his control – his boundary is how he gains control of who he is, and how he sees himself. It provides comfort. So when the author says "I might change my mind someday, but I think this boundary is important for him to maintain" and wants to honor that, I'm inclined to support it.

[elvisabutler]

i think there's still a few hours left for your gala, right?? 👁 if so, id like to request 💻 the angst prompt "no, im actually not ok," w austin.. maybe some h/c after the oscars? 🥺🙏

i don't know what i'm feeling

fandom: austin butler | elvis ( 2022 ) rating: g, t if you really squint. pairing: austin butler x gender neutral reader word count: 802 warnings: austin being sad post oscars. talk about the oscars. talk about the whale. author’s note: thank you anon and you were right i did have a few more hours when you sent this to me and was hoping someone would allow me the chance to do a hurt and comfort with this. full disclosure to everyone, i said it once before, if austin was going to lose to anyone, i did want it to be brendan because i was iffy on colin. however, i despise of the whale as a movie- and truly wish brendan had won for literally anything else. so do not take anything i have austin say as my own opinion on the movie itself. i hate it. this is for my 1k gala with the angst prompt of “no, i’m actually not ok.” and saints preserve me i'll live in my universe where i made this boy drunkenly say to his girl some nasty sexy things post oscar. also i'm not the biggest fan of this but i can't tell if that's purely because i'm in my own head about it or not. still hope you enjoy. also i didn't mess up my word count for the third time in all my gala pieces, what are you talking about.

It's an honor to be nominated. It's an honor to be put in the same league as actors who've been in the business for decades. It's an honor to be nominated along someone who's going to grow with him in their crafts. If he was going to lose to anyone everyone had said it was going to be him or Brendan and damn if he didn't think the man deserved it. The Whale was tough to watch but it was good- it was the sort of thing that earned an actor their Oscar. He shouldn't be- He shouldn't be feeling the way he does. Bill didn't get a single award all season and Colin went from a frontrunner with him to the afterthought along with Paul.

He can't even talk about this with Barry because it was always Ke's one to lose and he wasn't going to. Maybe Angela- but hadn't hers been wrapped in the grief from losing Chadwick. He still can't believe he heard Samuel L Jackson make a noise for him of all people behind him. He should be happy, this is the start of him finally making a difference. Making his fans proud and happy for him like Elvis. Making his mom proud that all her work wasn't for nothing. Making Lisa and Priscilla proud wasn't for nothing but why does he feel as if it was in this moment. Why is his brain just telling him this is how it starts? He'll have this whirlwind of three years and then three projects back to back to back only to have nothing afterward. Angela feels him tense a little- she must have because she looks at him and squeezes his hand once again before nodding over to you.

You- you can help ease his mind, once you're in the car he'll talk to you, whisper in your ear how this was not how he thought this night would go. His eyes meet yours and you smile gently before shrugging a little. He watches your lips mouth "love you" before he focuses on the last of the awards. It's a bit of organized chaos leaving the theater and it almost seems as if there's just an Elvis line of people walking around hand in hand like a bunch of kindergarteners before Austin and you finally get into a car and you squeeze his hand. "You okay?"

If it was anyone else, if it was Baz or Liv or Catherine or Kelvin or Luke- if it was anyone he'd lie. But you deserve the truth in a way that very few people do in this circumstance. "No, I'm actually not. I- I don't even know what I'm feeling. I'm mad but I shouldn't. I was nominated for an Oscar. I used to dream about this. I almost won an Oscar!"

"You have a Golden Globe! And a BAFTA!" You remind him, your voice matching his in volume before your hand moves to cup his cheek. There's a wet bit that you brush away with your thumb. "You're allowed to feel something, Austin. It doesn't make you a bad person or take away from Brendan's win because I know you, I know we're going to go the party and you're gonna see him and he's gonna give you a big dad hug and you're gonna gush. And you're gonna bounce up and down with Ke and make sure Baz doesn't drink too much because Catherine asked you too."

The laugh that bubbles up from him is wet sounding, covered in unshed tears as he sniffles. "Forgot how I'm gonna tell Luke about Polly making me do some moves for party tricks. And how Kelvin is going to remind me to-"

"Chill out?" You finish like that's actually what Austin was going to say before he shakes his head, allowing himself to just rest his head in your hand.

"Something like that. I just thought- I let my hopes get up." Austin whispers and you frown.

"No one blames you for that, you know. I don't. Tell you what. When we get to the party, how about we just sit in the car for a little bit until you calm down. And then when we get there, we just relax. Just for a little bit until you stop hurting so much. I'll shoo away the cameras with my charm." Austin raises an eyebrow knowing that isn't always how things go with you and him.

"Yeah? No fighting that'll get us both in trouble?"

"Pinky swear." You hold out your pinky as you move to kiss Austin. "Now, how about we focus on our plans for after tonight. I believe someone promised me a vacation?"

Austin's answer is a hum before he gives you another kiss. "How do you feel about the mountains?"