#itll be okay trust

[thesherrinfordfacility]

Thinking about how Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy allegedly plays when Crowley drives back to Aziraphale to help with Gabriel. And how I'm not sure if people will actually pick up on the romantic context there lmao. I mean. When he was driving to, searching, and exiting the on-fire bookshop in S1, a surprising number of people apparently didn't get the hint? Not just the choice of Somebody to Love after he realizes that he's lost Aziraphale, but You're My Best Friend, which had been playing UP to that point, is ALSO a love song- John Deacon wrote it for his wife. Like it was RIGHT THERE and people missed it.

you can only lead the horse to water, nonnie; doesnt mean you can make it drink✨☕

[fondesmode]

Okay okay, Owl House officialy ends in like. Today. So heres a checklist of all the things i need to happen in the finale. For my emotionsl sake.

Belos fucking dies

Raine is okay

Collector keeps his powers but is chill

Luz gets to live where she wants n isnt depresso forcing herself into human realm

Its all goooood :)

At least 3 of these and ill be satisfied fbcfbcdg

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

ari what do you mean u write fics on ur phone 😭 how are u just casually writing 8.9k + words on your phone 😭😭

PHDJDHUDHD IS THAT NOT NROMAL?????????????? I THOUGHT THAT WAS THE STANDARD PROCEDURE HAVE I BEEN DOING IT WRONG THIS WHOLE TIME 😭😭😭😭 i literally want to write on my laptop SO bad just for the aesthetic but i can never get into it….. 😞😞😞

wait alexis i have to know ok . what is ur usual writing method …. do u have any rituals 🎤🎤 i am looking to learn . all i do is drink lots of coffee and hope for the best i cant keep living like this

[jalapenobee]

dazai no matter how many times you try. the lollipop trick will not work.

[martyrbat]

they twinkified lex luthor so they can bearify mr. mxyzptlk later dont worry

[dashuisofanubis]

Okay I know its probably obvious, but I've only just realised that Vera brought Delores (her stuffed dog) just to gain Victor's trust, and I'd love to know how the conversation about it between her and Rufus went down beforehand

[thetriggeredhappy]

anyways if going “i think i’m annoying. i should simply stop thinking i’m annoying” isn’t working out for you, consider going “i think i’m annoying. i can use this for comedy”. if mentally removing the properties from yourself isn’t something you’re capable of, shifting your perception of the properties can be helpful. maybe it’s funny to be a little annoying. people love when cats are a little annoying. everyone who’s ever had a sibling knows that being a bit of a dick can be extremely funny. and beyond that, surrounding yourself with people tolerant of flaws as small as “occasionally acts in a way that i personally find superficially unpleasant”, who will instead celebrate those aspects of you, will be helpful in the long run for your mental health. what’s really so bad about being a little annoying? it means you willing to put yourself out there and have people around you who, more often than not, enjoy you being at 200%. something something “strengths and weaknesses are just based on perception”. are you annoying, or are you earnest? are you rude, or are you direct? are you strong-willed and independent, or are you incapable of asking for help and self-destructive? are you sweet and friendly, or are you conflict-avoidant? the truth is, you’re always both, depending completely on the situation. so be a littleb bit annoying. it’ll be fun.

[lifealteringtimesandwich]

dallon i just preordered the album that's how much faith i have in you. it has to be good now i trust you to much

[foxpunk]

i think everyone who is reblogging that post about how horrible and creepy and fucked up it is to speculate about someone being possibly trans needs to

1) think about why/when these speculations are being made. context matters. are they harassing or crossing boundaries of anyone specific/an actual concrete person, or simply making comments to themselves, to friends, or in a general open online area. 2) ask yourself if it is actually so bad and harmful to say someone could be trans. 3) ask yourself if these speculations about transness actually uphold gender norms. does being trans upholds gender norms. is a trans woman reinforcing stereotype if she wears makeup, or is a transmasc reinforcing stereotype if they get top surgery. why do trans people, especially trans women, do these things. if these actual actions are okay for trans people to do as their form of gender expression, then is this actually bad to simply speculate about. 4) ask yourself if you've heard this shit before like. does this at all bring to mind how straight people found it offensive to be speculated as gay, and the subsequent gross backlash against gay people helping anyone out of the closet, and the movement of "let bros be bros" gaining more attention/priority than. yknow. simply normalizing people being gay and that not being a bad thing or an insult to think someone may be gay. 5) most importantly: who is making these speculations. is it "people" in general like the post says or is it fellow trans people, who know what it is like to be closeted with no info, no other trans people to talk to, no way to explore themselves safely until someone says something first. and is it trans people or specifically trans women, who are especially vulnerable to these things. are these trans women actually being harmful or do you view trans womens' personal speculations as inherently forceful, creepy, and invasive. 6) ask yourself why that may be. 7) be honest.

[silentalltheseyearsnomore]

Somehow got through the worst of the crisis. Didn't tell S for the first time. Told her when we saw her and she asked why we didn't reach out and we said we know she's already overwhelmed and if we were to come out the other side we needed her to still be there, we needed to protect our relationship. She got it. It sucks the situation we are both in because of complete lack of support from everywhere else. She is being our care co, advocate, therapist, attachment figure, everything at once because *no one else is* but ofc it is too much. Hence ending therapy. Because the best way she can help is to fight the system for us and get us the right support, while also staying around so we don't have another broken attachment. I know it's her doing everything she can to help us the best she can. It's just hard to not view it through the lens of so many triggers and abandonment. When the reality is she is doing ALL this, soon for free, out of care. It is just not all focused on the care littles want (cuddles lol) and more of what we need. Which is what someone who truly cares for you does.

I value her seeing the situation and knowing our therapy and relationship will be damaged if we continued the same and therefore ending therapy before the damage was too big. Like others should have done. But it still sucks that it means we have to start again with someone else AND get used to seeing her less. It sucks because she doesn't even want to see her less but her life is just so that if we don't see her at work it will be less. I know how much she is doing for us behind the scenes to fight the system and yet child parts just want the time with her. Even if logically her doing that work is what will help most. I value her so much doing this for us. It's just the fear of seeing her less is so fucking huge. From outside it may seem ridiculous because we're so lucky to have an attachment figure who wants to see us anytime she can, and the least it'll be is maybe a couple weeks.. that's kind of a lot, it's more than anyone in her personal life gets besides those she lives with, even family! We'd be fine seeing anyone else every couple weeks!! Yet going from 2 or 3 times a week to knowing she'll struggle for even once a week feels like actual death. Like, we laugh when we see the facts. But for child parts it is like literal death it feels. And I just hope it actually feels okay. We'll get used to it. We'll speak inbetween. We will be adding more support and it won't feel long at all- the isolation does add to the attachment pain, its not ALL about her. Its also about what it triggers, and about being lonely in general. We have to trust that will change. And trust we will feel connected. (Mostly I secretly hope her work thing settles so she has more time lol). Remember there is the possibility for a lot more in the future when we are better, she wants us to be involved in an amazing work thing if we get well enough. WHEN we get well enough. She WANTS us in her life. We are wanted. That is beautiful. That is everything. The rest is just noise and life in the way.

It sucks how when we are connected we feel okay but then we loss it and drown in dread. When we are together we think we can handle ending therapy, these changes, the unknown, all of it. We can feel how much she cares, we know it, we see it. She gave us the most beautiful birthday gift and held us and we talked about the fears and we both are just having to face the unknown as both our lives change. And we just have to trust. Trust that even though her life is changing, even though we have to end therapy, even though xyz, she will find time to see us. She'll still be there even if its different. Trust that this is very different to previous ex therapists (who her supervisors now want us to report and are basically blacklisting already..), because yes we are close but we are doing it healthily and slowly and boundaried. She is not being our mum, she is not promising things she cant deliver like they did. She says the hard things when needed, she knows limits. Trust that that doesn't mean she cares less. Trust she'll still fight to get us the right support. And we have to trust that the right support will actually happen, despite the huge obstacles. And we have to trust we can hold on until it comes. We have to trust so many things we can't see yet.

And when we are with her, we do trust. But when we are apart, it's just overwhelming. We can't take another broken attachment. And I do trust her not to do what others did but I also know the whole situation is so stressful and she is one human trying to do her best. And so are we. I do kind of think it may be okay with her.. she won't go. I feel less sure about getting specialised therapy funded. And I know all our stuff and needs can't fall on our relationship or it will suffer. So we need the other support to work out. And I am scared what happens in the meantime. I've never experienced either thing- enough support or an attachment figure staying in a safe and healthy way. So even if factually it looks like she's staying and it'll be okay, we still need to experience it.

Honestly I have no idea how we'll feel with this transition. I have a feeling either we'll feel like we are drowning, while S is abroad and when back will see her less even if she's doing more for us behind the scenes, and no therapy..... OR, we may feel better. Maybe we dont need our attachment wounds constantly poked at. Maybe space to breathe will help. We've done SO much work internally attachment wise. We've gone from wanting child parts dead to calling them (pet names) lovingly like B did and S now does. And we've had some experiences of them being loved and wanted outside too, even if chaotic and abusive at times. I don't even really know the next step even if I was being offered it. I don't think I ever want such a deep attachment in therapy again. Some kind of attachment sure but our main one? It just feels never endingly painful. I think we do better when it's outside of therapy. And inside of it to an extent too. Just not the main and only. So maybe getting used to S outside of therapy will somehow help us see what is needed moving forward. I so wish K was safe for us..... then we'd have two attachment figures outside of therapy, and the attachment in therapy would feel less brutal and poking with its stupid hour or so a week. But she just isn't. Maybe she never will be. There's no way to know. Right now she isn't. There's S. But she can't be *everything*. And I want more outside of therapy. It's just... we don't really ever attach that way outside. Child parts never do. So I guess we just try and build the attachments and connections outside of therapy. Settle in to what S can be. And maybe we'll see therapy differently going forward.

I honestly have no fucking idea. But I do know what we've been doing isn't sustainable. I do know I don't want my main attachment figure to be my therapist. And I don't know what that means. And it's not like you have a fucking choice in who you attach to anyway lollll who am I kidding. We don't even know what we will be offered yet. Or when. In a few weeks. Years. Its so hard to keep walking forward not knowing how anything looks. And just trusting. And trusting that S won't give up fighting for us or let go of our hand. Trust ourselves that we choose to trust her for good reason and not purely attachment. Trust ourselves to feel her hand is still there even when physically apart. Trust we can keep ourselves safe when we need to. Trust that having to do so doesn't mean we don't deserve others. Child parts deserve to be rescued and protected and kept safe. And we have to trust we can do that, and that others want to, even if they can't always. Trust ourselves that we can grieve the gap between what others can do and what we deserve/d.

[dirt-str1der]

Self shipping is always the morally correct thing to do

[driftwoodskeleton]

well.

what am i supposed to do now?

i feel like all the fights been kicked out of me.

it might have been the last thing driving these wretched bones.

now what?

[coloursofaparadox]

mm

[feralattentionwhore]

They really should drug me because I'm their property and I don't get to choose what goes on. Things just happen and I have to be a good girl and take it.

Just hand me something to eat or drink randomly without any instructions other than to be obedient and take it. Not knowing what's happening but doing what I'm told, obviously

Why should a toy have any options to begin with anyway?

[trench-rot]

OKAY LOOK never once did I claim to have PRETTY 1st drafts djhgfjsygdoygfj

[mishapen-dear]

dominion smp is powerful enough to take me out of trafficlife brainrot okay THAT is how you know you should watch it. tan and viking are so. . .