#its 5am now okay goodnight

[bamboozled-distress]

It's me, hi, I'm the problem (it's me)

Summary: based on @/idiotinacostume's tiktok, sirius promises James a date with lily and when she refuses he improvises and.. chaos ensues

Read it on ao3 !

warnings: swearing, polyjuice potion, wolfstar not being a thing, yet anyway, you'll see, oh also this is a formal apology to all prongsfoot shippers because well, this is not very pro prongsfoot, james being helplessly in love with lily and me writing this at 2am so this will not be good like at all, also im changing this so that its like that episode of friends where chandler and pheobe go on that date and they try and kiss

"Wait, what?"

Sirius ran his hand through his hair again through pure embarrassment as they stood in the prefects bathroom together with Remus having his arms crossed and Sirius looking at him helplessly partially in love and partially in exasperation. Remus' long fingers clutched the polyjuice potion tightly as he raised his eyebrows not-so patiently waiting for Sirius' response.

"Remember when I had prongs give me breakfast in bed in exchange for me doing him a favour?

"No but sure."

This time Sirius was the one who raised his eyebrows.

"Well if you even cared to pay attention, the favour that I told him I could do was to finally get him a date with Evans."

"Okay now the question I have is why the ever loving fuck you would say that knowing how badly in love with her he is and badly she despises him. Oh and you."

"Not wormtail?"

"No, I actually saw them high fiving earlier it was really weird."

"Circes tit, really?" he breathed out as Sirius put a hand on his hip.

"Yes really, now carry on you twat."

"Alright so, for obvious reasons I could not get her to agree, and as you know quite well a man can not go back on his word."

"You're not a man."

"I am a young man."

"We're 15."

"Fuck you, anyway I promised the poor lad so I've found a loop hole."

"And what would that be?"

Sirius brought out his hands and shook them in a way to show his oh so marvellous 'jazz hands', "me, of course."

"Oh yeah, 'of course' why didn't I think of that."

"Honestly moony, you're clearly not a very bright child."

"Dashing, aren't you."

"Oh moony, you're making me blush, oh stop it you. Anyway, I promised him a date with Lily not a date with the actual Lily so polyjuice will do the trick just fine."

"You're gonna go on a date with prongs," Remus deadpanned as he stared in disbelief.

"Well, you don't have to be so judgemental, am I that unattractive to you?"

Oh if Sirius knew just how attractive Remus truly thought he was, the late nights spent thinking of his star, of the one person he truly knew who he could love with no boundaries, the one person he could never have, because he loved him too much to bring him more pain. The pain he could barely handle himself, he would never bring that onto another no less the person he cared about more than everyone else, if only Remus loved him less than maybe it would stop the ache.

"Yes actually."

Remus is also a pathological liar.

"Will you give me the potion or not?"

Remus handed it over as he rolled his eyes, "when this ends terribly I'll plan the funeral."

"Who's funeral exactly?"

"I'm not sure yet."

"Oh thats not ominous at all," after a beat of silence, "thanks for stealing the potion moons."

"Oh it's fine, it was some poor slytherins."

Sirius snorted, "oh what a fine prefect you make."

"The best."

Sirius sat down on the cold tiles, took an inhale closed his eyes and gripping the potion bottle tightly he tugged it down in one go like a vodka shot. With his other hand he plugged his nose and immediately almost threw up afterwards.

"What the hell! Merlins balls that was disgusting."

Remus chuckled on the side as Sirius' pure misery, then it stopped as he saw the transformation. All he could hear were moans and groans from the other lads end but on Remus side he saw the literal transformation of his best friend turning into a woman.

"I, oh my god, are you okay?"

"What the fuck! No I'm not okay, holy shit, I sound like--"

"Lily," they both said in unison, at an instant Sirius dashed towards the mirrors and let out a gasp.

Sirius started feeling up his sides, his arms and forearms and had the biggest grin on his face that looked quite odd on Lily's face in Remus' opinion. He kept looking down and up which was a little disturbing to Remus for some reason.

Sirius stepped back and looked at Remus as he let out a laugh in disbelief as he can't believe what he's about to say, "I, I've got a chicks body, bloody hell moony!"

Remus laughed too and just put a hand on his head cracking up right with him not even being able to think of a sly comeback.

"Shit mate, yeah pads oh my god you look and fucking sound like Lily."

"Oh yeah I do," Sirius stared at him with his classic Sirius black grin, although on a different body Remus could recognize that anywhere.

"Okay okay, will you stop objectifying Lily now," Remus tried to say that with an annoyed tone but he couldn't help the smile in his voice and Sirius could get drunk off of that tone of his voice.

"Oh yes sir prefect, yes I will."

Remus with a wide grin went to look at his watch and went wide eyed, "shit look at the time pads."

Sirius not worried about anything rolled his eyes, "oh but I think you mean Lily."

But then he did look at the time, and rushed out knowing he had to meet James in two minutes, he went to the dorms, quickly put on the girls uniform he had since Marlene lent him hers when he protested against the dress code.

He really did adore that skirt, he loved how it looked on his-, oh he had to run now if he's going to make it to James without being late. He loudly shout 'wish me luck' to Remus and ran past a confused looking Peter, who Remus was very excited to tell about this entire disaster of a situation.

*****

James was waiting patiently at the great hall with a rose in his hand, getting his hopes up every time someone would walk in, he didn't put too much effort into his outfit as he wasn't sure if Sirius would actually manage to get a date with the Lily Evans.

Before he could think of anything else, his heart stopped as he saw a out of breath and yet unmistakingly beautiful Lily Evans walk through the door and as she met his eyes, her magnificent green apple orbs meeting his own, he swooned a little as she rushed her way over.

"Oh my god p-James, I'm so sorry if you've been waiting here for long, I got caught up with Remus and it was this whole thing really."

James smiled fondly at her or well at him, at the rambling and just took her hand and sat her down.

"Oh it's fine really, but are you okay?" He looked all over her, his body rubbing her arms and kneeled down beside her.

"Oh god Lily! How hard did you hurt yourself?"

"What? Are you mad-"

James touched Lily, Sirius' forehead and gasped, "oh god, you've had a terrible fall!"

Sirius, ever confused rubbed his sides self consciously, "no, what? I mean I don't think-, what are you on about?"

Then Sirius got it all too late when he saw the sly smile on James' face, "I could've sworn you fell straight out of heaven," and without missing a beat James had his rose in front of Lily/Sirius and with a wink he added, "angel."

"Oh you twat, you calling me Satan?" Sirius was caught off guard by the pure flirting and knew he had to put himself together and with a small smile he cupped James' hand with the rose and with his other he cupped James' cheek, "or did you want to catch me?"

He watched as James simply tripped on pure air and fall in front of him, and Sirius trying to hold back a laugh raised an eyebrow and to this James brought himself up to his feet and replied, "I was not expecting that."

"What? Weren't expecting to get this far?"

"No. not really if I'm being honest."

"Well, that explains the blushing, your entire face is a cute red, and," Sirius decided to lean in a bit closer, "I bet the rest of you is as well."

Sirius had to stop himself from laughing but oh my god, he wanted to frame this moment. He, Sirius Orion Black has made James more flustered than he thought would even be possible.

"Quite the ladies man you are miss Evans, do you talk to all your dates like this or am I just this special."

"Oh Jamie, you don't know how special you are."

"Oh Evans, if I could rearrange the entire alphabet I would put U and I together."

Sirius let out an unattractive snort, "okay champ."

James let his arm out to reach, "shall we?"

"We shall."

Sirius looked over at James because he was taking deeper inhales then a normal person should and when he asked as to why the only response was, "oh you just took my breath away, if I need CPR I'll let you know."

"How about I steal it again Jamie."

Sirius smirked and James eyed him before shaking his head, "thats for later my love."

"Anything else you're saving for later?"

At this James simply winked at him obnoxiously but narrowed his eyes at him slightly which made Sirius all the more nervous.

"You sure are acting different Lily."

Sirius is now positive James knows that it's him.

"Don't worry handsome, I still think you're a twat."

James knows it's Sirius.

"Oh lovely, let's go to the common room so I can serenade you there." James needed to ask someone about what the hell is going on because he knows thats Sirius and not Lily, and he needs Sirius to tell him, but luck is on his side because Sirius doesn't know that he knows.

"Oh yes, lets. I would love nothing more than for you to serenade me with your beautiful singing voice."

As they walked to the common room arm in arm, Sirius was sweating the entirety there because christ James knows and he is positive that he knows.

"Oh um, James? I need to use the restroom really quickly, I'll be right back."

James waved her off saying have fun as he ran to Peter needing someone to talk to about this.

He hit Peters arm repeatedly as he was repeating his name as well, he was as frantic as ever and just about shook his arms as well, "peter what the fuck do I do mate?"

Peter looked at him questioningly, "what do you need to do?"

James blurted out, "I'm on a date with padfoot!"

"Oh, well I support you mate, terrible choice in men but I'm glad you've moved on from Evans!"

This time James hit Peters arm again but much more harder than before, "no! I'm on a date with Lily but it's not Lily, it's pads but he doesn't know that I know."

"Oh. Because he said he'd get you a date with her?"

"YES!"

"Oh and he took some.. oh I see now. Well shit mate, you're in quite a pickle now."

"Yeah no shit wormtail."

"Well, work with that; he doesn't know that you know so flirt with him make him uncomfortable and then he'll have to confess."

"Easier said than done mate, but.. thats not a bad idea."

"He has no idea so it couldn't possibly go wrong."

"Oh yeah on a date with my best friend pretending to be the love of my life and I have to be romantic with him in order for him to tell me he's not the love of my life, what could ever possibly go wrong!"

Peter stood up, "just here-- let me do this," he unopened the first few buttons to James' shirt and ruffled up his more so then usual, "that should help."

James looked down and simply shrugged and went back to the common room where Lily-- no Sirius, looked frazzled but with intent on his face.

Although, when Sirius ran to the restroom previously James has no idea he grabbed Remus hand and dragged him there with his face looking pale and wide eyed.

"Okay what now," Remus asked with an exasperated sigh.

"I was not prepared for these terrible conditions I've put myself in."

Remus smiled widely, quite mockingly Sirius would like to add, and clasped his hands together, "oh goody. Now what made you have this absolutely absurd observation that I totally did not see forthcoming?"

"I didn't know he was going to flirt with me!"

"On a date? With the girl of his dreams? Oh how dare he flirt, oh gosh. Wow."

"Shut up okay? I need you to shut the fuck up."

"Wait so, what did you do?"

"Flirted back obviously! It's my instinct from when we compliment each others asses, how could I not? But it's more sincere, and just straight up fucking weird."

"Oh, I see the problem, prongs knows."

"Do you know how hard it is for me not to call him prongs! I haven't called him his actual name this many times since the day we first met-- and that was simply out of spite to annoy him."

"Oh what a lovely child you were."

"I'm lovely now too."

"Oh, of course you are Lily."

"I don't want to confess to him that I couldn't get Lily though, I can't give up moonshine."

"But he knows."

"Yeah but, I don't want to lose."

Remus wanted to facepalm, of fucking course Sirius turned this into something it's not, making sure he doesn't face the true error of his ways and instead turning this into something he can fuck around with.

Nothing to unpack there. Nope, not at all.

"Okay fine, so what? You're just going to go on with the date? Pretend nothing is going on and you'll just flirt back?"

"Well yeah, I just need to get through this date before he calls it off and then I'll keep my end of the deal."

"You really are in a fucking mess."

"As per usual."

"Well, you have luck on your side I guess, because he knows that you're not Lily and you know that he knows. However, he doesn't know that you know that he knows."

Sirius turned his head to the side in confusion and Remus wanted to kiss him so badly so he flicked him on the forehead instead.

"He doesn't know what you know, you have the upper hand you imbecile."

"So what?"

"You two are best mates, he doesn't want to romantically be with you, so do what you do best and make people uncomfortable."

"I can do that."

"I know you can."

"Oh, I know you do," at this Sirius winked at Remus.

"Perfect example mutt."

With Sirius flipping him off, he untied his hair and let it roam around as he walked back or more so strutted back knowing his mission at hand.

Which lead him to this moment of Sirius slightly frazzled not knowing how to accomplish his mission at hand but at least having a mission at hand. James then slipped himself right beside Sirius and putting an arm around his shoulder, "you look magnificent Evans."

"You're not too bad yourself."

"No but, you're almost too good to be true, almost as if someones playing a trick on me and it's not really you."

Sirius stared back, his face going white and his eyes going wide and he had no idea how to reply. He knew James knew but he didn't know he was going to make comments like that, it caught him off guard he ran a hand through his hair.

"Well you know I'm completely real and I can assure you if someone was playing a trick on you it would only be from the pure goodness from their heart."

James narrowed his eyes and gulped, "well if it was from the goodness of their heart, they should know it's not a very well thought out trick, sweetheart."

"I think it would be very well thought out, having tricked you to believe it really is Li- me, deer." James knew from the little sneer on Sirius' or well Lily's pale face that he was not calling him a term of endearment but calling him his animagus which James did do a double take and looking back at Sirius he knew the reaction was exactly what he wanted.

James grabbed his shoulder and stood up with mischief in his eyes which for once Sirius slightly feared, "hey someone's playing some music in the corner, let's dance Evans."

Sirius stared back but kept his composure normal, "dance?"

"Well we are on a date after all."

James let out his hand and Sirius took it gracefully, not ready to slow dance with James at all, "oh such a gentlemen."

"My pleasure milady."

Sirius inhaled and let James bring him to a corner of the common room that was unoccupied and allowed himself to put his arms around James shoulders. He was silently cursing out Lily in his head for being so fucking short. All the while James was sweating because he didn't know how to fucking dance and he knew Sirius knew.

"Need a hand, deer?"

"No."

Sirius grinned and looked at the taller lad, "put your hand on my sides you nitwit and just sway."

James closed his eyes and let out a small smile as he let his hands a little lower than what was probably appropriate for two laddy lads doing lad things.

"James Fleamont Potter, I swear to fucking god you put your hands higher or I'll winguardiam leviosa your ass so hard you'll end up on the fucking moon."

"I mean I do love you to the moon and back."

"So are those your last words then?"

James only smiled wider when he put his hands on his sides much higher than it was before.

"You sure know how to dance."

"Well I've had classes and it sure does come in handy when I get to teach pretty boys like yourself Mr. Potter."

"You think I'm pretty?" James smirked a bit.

"The prettiest."

James took his hand off of Sirius' side to flick his hand as he gasped dramatically, "oh, you flatter me."

"Oh when I'm done with you, you'll be better than flattered," Sirius let out a flirty smile hoping to the lords above that James would give up right now and tell him he knows.

"So naughty."

Sirius took an inhale as he gulped knowing where their dancing would lead to on a normal date.

James thought the same thing and almost at the same time they both had an idea where they knew the other would confess, not knowing they both had the same idea.

James gulped as he spoke, "you know this is where, we would usually get to the uh, kissing part."

Sirius froze up hoping he could have brought it up first, "oh I would love to Jamie."

Sirius would not love to kiss him, considering this would be his first kiss.

"Then we should, yes."

James desperately knew they should not. No.

James knew Sirius would give in, because he knew Sirius knew. And Sirius doesn't know he knows that he knows that he knows.

Right?

James could go through with this until Sirius gives up, he could do this, can't he?

Sirius on the other hand knew James would never go through with this, he had this in the bag, he knew James is doing this just to have Sirius give in. He knew James and he knew he would not go through kissing him, he won't chicken out and if it takes him to almost kiss his best mate he would do it.

Sirius black will never lose.

Sirius gulped, "okay let's kiss then?"

James shifted uncomfortably on his feet and licked his lips having his eyed intent on Sirius, begging him to confess first.

"I'm ready mon amour."

Sirius responded dryly, "planning on french kissing me with that terrible accent?"

"You speak french Lily?" James quipped back and seeing that alarmed look on Sirius' face and although those facial features were Lily's the panic was pure Sirius and he inhaled it.

"Er, no but, I'm not an idiot."

James thought that was the most in character thing Sirius has said this entire afternoon.

"Alright, we-- yeah let's do this dream girl."

Sirius closed his eyes and puckered his lip slowly moving forward, to give James time to fucking confess, and to be fair Sirius was getting quite impatient.

James was not giving in, he also leaned forward as slowly as possible closing his eyes tight, hoping and praying for Sirius to give in.

They were leaning forward, lips almost moving off of their faces as Sirius grabbed James shoulders peeking an eye open and saw James doing nothing that looked like confessing.

They wouldn't kiss, they couldn't, Sirius knew James would give in.

Except he didn't.

Sirius' first kiss was James Potter.

James' first kiss was Sirius Black.

Their lips touched and were firmly pressed on each other not one moving to further the kiss, it lasted an entirety of two whole seconds before there was a loud, "fine, you win!"

"I'm not Lily you twat, you mother fucker, you absolute bastard."

James was still puckering his lips when he opened his eyes and finally fucking smiled.

Instead of a response he clapped, "congratulations Sirius Orion Black, you were my first kiss."

"You stole mine you twat!"

"What?! You were the one who leaned in first!"

"You were the one who said we should, when you knew! I thought you'd give in!"

"Well thank you for confessing your sin pads."

Then they heard clapping and both Sirius and James turned around to find Peter and Remus clapping and James raised his eyebrows, "great show you both, truly. Glad you both finally had your first kiss."

Sirius at this bowed to both at them, "and yet no girlfriend."

James plopped himself next to Remus and laid his head down in his lap after the truly traumatic experience that was his first date. Although Remus paid no attention to him and kept his eyes on Sirius.

"Just a girlfriend?"

Sirius exhaled with a shaky breath, "or a boyfriend."

"Good to know," Remus smirked.

Oh Sirius was really doomed.

[spiderwarden]

i'm cold and my bed is calling me back but as I go just imagine this.

Minthara getting home in modern from a long day, it's 2am, she undoes the lady tie, pulling the bun on her head a little loose, as she starts to unbutton the front of her shirt. She turns to the counter and picks up a wine bottle and the filled wine glass in the other hand as she makes her way the living room. She HUFFS as she sits on the couch, knees spread to make room for the BDE, as she sips the wine from the glass. Leans forward to set the bottle on the glass table, and plucks the remote. Turns on the TV. What is she watching? Comedies. The Office maybe, something stupid. Maybe even those adultish cartoons like Family Guy, King of the Hill, Bob's Burger, etc. She has a tier list of favorite comedies, a top 20, where the top 5 are the go to and the other 15 are in case the first 5 are unavailable. She is not laughing, but every now and again there is a chuckle and a short smile as she drinks from the glass balanced on her knee.

[dumbbitchawards]

Okay I have now officially caught up with ted lasso. I need to sleep its nearly 5am I have class tomorrow I'll respond to all my unopened notifications from the past 24 hours then goodnight all

[coffintwink]

you took me behind

a dis-used railway line

and said, ‘ i know a place where we can go

where we are not known. ’

and then you gave me something that i won’t forget too soon…

[newtness532]

I was watching videos about Rosa's coming out again and I noticed how when Holt hugs her at the end of the episode she hugs him back so fast and I just can't stop thinking about it

[thanksfortheflaglove]

rly wanna fall in love with a girl that loves one direction just as much as i do

[soulofatiny]

OH MY OH MY

hongjoong’s rap in wave after the preview cut

seonghwa’s dramatic dancing in the convenience store

yunhO’S VOCALS IN ILLUSION TOWARDS THE END

yeosang getting lines AND screen time showing off his talent AND beauty (also spinning the basketball with his finger in the background)

sAN singing with the magnifying glass over his mouth my loRD

mingi. everything about mingi in illusion was so beautiful to me– i just :’)

wooyoung’s soft + beautiful vocals omg and that shot of him in wave made my heart !!!

jongho. jongho. jongHO. how can he manage to sound even more angelic? how can he manage to improve his vocals even more than before?!

conclusion? i love them all so much

[metaphorically-literal]

.

[ggreactionsandscenarios]

Hello, may I request Loona reaction to their S/O coming home drunk/wasted at dawn, thanks <3

Loona Reactions

Their s/o coming home drunk

Vivi

When she opened the door for you, you fell in the room face first, luckily she got an hold of your shoulders before you could meet the ground. She didn't need to be a genius to figure out you've been drinking, the smell strong enough to speak for itself. She helped you get to bed and made sure you had water and painkillers on your nightstand before going to sleep herself since she waited for you all night. Later she'll have a talk with you, she just want to make sure you're okay and that you didn't drank out of any negative thought. Either way she'll scold you, reminding you that even if alcohol wasn't consider a drug it was one and you must be careful with it.

Yves

Sooyoung has terrible ways of telling you it's time to stop drinking. It's been three nights in a row of you coming home not so sober and she'd decided it was time to stop. You woke up hungover and with a really bad smell hitting your nose. Yves was handing you a glass which you took thinking it was water, only to find out it was some liquor which you spit out immediately, the taste burning your throat.

"What the heck Yves ?"

"I guessed you'd like to drink some in the morning too since you decided to bring its smell all the way to our bed."

Jinsoul

Jinsoul watched you knock on the neighbour's door for a good ten minutes before taking your hand in hers, leading you to the right door. Since you were stumbling from left to right, she settled on holding you by the waist, keeping you upright.

"Fhfjjdb.."

"Yes baby, I'm taking you to bed."

Even through the gibberish Jinsoul understood what you were saying thanks to the thousand toothpaste conversations you had over the past years. As she got you in your pj's and under the blankets, Jinsoul started singing you a lullaby until you drifted to sleep.

Haseul

Sorry but Haseul would mock you, she finds it hilarious when you try to make a sentence but end up giving up out of frustration because you just can't form words anymore. You'll have her all attention, the TV show she was watching long forgotten when you enter the room tumbling and sat yourself next to her. She'll help you get rid of your shoes and would let you rest your head on her shoulder, caressing your hair gently.

"Do you want to go to bed already or are you up for a hot choco ?"

She'll make you two a cup of hot choco, bringing the marshmallows over at the same time before settling back on the couch, your head back on her shoulder where you'll fall asleep soon enough.

Kim lip

Jungeun would be pissed in a really terrifying way. Don't even try to talk to her, she'll shut you up with a glare. She's mad because as usual you didn't reply to her worried texts and no she doesn't care that your battery died. She can't stand passing her night worrying that something might have happened and imagining the worst scenarios when you were simply too drunk to find a way to warn her. When she'll come home later that day she'll give you a box, not saying anything but to use it. So you did, you used the key ring she offered you, not knowing it was actually a localisation device until years later. It did save you from bad situations a few times so you couldn't be mad about it anyway.

Chuu

When you tried to sneak back inside the house at 5am you really thought Jiwoo would still be asleep but you ended face to face with pouting lips and crossed arms. Your vision was a little bit too blurry to see if she was really furious or not, so you attempt on playing it cool.

"Hey b.."

"No."

Chuu was pissed, she didn't get her goodnight kiss, didn't get to sleep in your arms and her good morning kiss could now be forgotten, so she was definitely not in a good mood. Luckily she wasn't the scariest person when mad but still you'll have to make it right by her, prepare a fun activity to do together and she'll forget about it.

Heejin

"Had fun ?"

Your girlfriend handed you her famous hungover tea right when you entered the kitchen. You got home at 5am this morning, it was now two in the afternoon and Heejin was cooking dinner. When you mumbled that yeah you had fun but would never drink ever again, she just laughed. You say that everytime though there is always a next time. Heejin knew you didn't like to eat that much on hungover but she forced you too eat a little, using the fact that she made it to make you taste her food and it was delicious as always. She'll nag you a little saying that if your feet hurt it must be because you didn't dance with the right person and that next time you know who to invite.

Hyunjin

"Aeong !"

Like a cat Hyunjin was waiting for your return sat behind the door. She slept on the couch last night, hoping your arrival would wake her up and that she'll be able to welcome you. When she caught herself falling from the couch she woke up right away and decided it was better to wait while sitting in order not to miss the moment you'll come back. Once you'd finally come home she wouldn't believe her eyes so she'll pinch your arm instead. As you drunkly whine about it hurting she'll just take you into a bear hug.

Gowon

As much as she'd like to hate it when you come home drunk, Gowon just can't. Maybe it was because of the surprising boldness you express while drunk or maybe was it because of the cheesy pick up lines but she just can't stop herself from getting flustered. The fact that even under the influence of alcohol you try to hit on her, makes her smile. Of course she rather have you tell her you love her when sober but she is happy to be part of your thoughts at anytime. On the other hand she really likes her sleep so you better let her go back to it after your various confessions.

Olivia

Olivia couldn't care less that you went out with your friends, or at least she tried to make you think she didn't care. Luckily for her you were too drunk to see her waiting by the window. When you entered the bedroom, she had already took place in bed with a book, pretending not to be interested in you or what you were doing. Still she was picking at you from the corner of her eye as you got change in your pj's. Once you settled in bed, she'll pretend to have finished her reading and settled in your arms. But before falling to sleep you noticed something.

"Did you just pretend to read 'How to know you're gay ?' ?"

Choerry

Yerim loves to listen to your drunk stories, you're always so excited and messy while telling them. It honestly is hilarious but she doesn't just like to mock your way of getting excited about everything she also finds it terribly cute. However she'll listen to it all, even though it's way too early for anyone to be up for those kind of stories; smiling brightly at you all along. At some point she'll have enough of contemplating your face so she'll just shut you up with a kiss and bring you to bed. She needs to finish her night and you need to start yours.

Yeojin

"Why in hell wasn't I invited ?"

Yeojin would be clingy once you'll get back home, she won't admit it but she missed you. She'll whine about how you went partying without her, making you think it was only about having fun without her, when it was really about missing your presence. Even though you smell like shit and are still half drunk, she'll make you sit and would put her head on your lap, hugging your waist at the same time. There's no such thing as needing to pee or wanting food, right now you're not allowed to move. Consider it payback for letting her alone all night.

You got it, here is the request. Hope you liked it give feedbacks ❤- Ael

[dazaiscrimes]

On that fluff prompt list do 50 with Megumi 😂

You got it, dude.

Prompt:  “I love you, but I need you to go away because you’re really bloody distracting and I have to pass this test tomorrow.”

Pairing: Megumi Fushiguro x fem!reader

Word Count: 1.1k

Warning: just pure fluff, maybe some ~spice~ at the end, crack

12 hours.

You just had 3 back-to-back 12-hour grueling shifts in the emergency department. There had been a patient who had decided that shampoo bottles belonged up their butt, there was one woman who accidentally cut off her toe, and to top it off, one of the other residents had messed up another patient’s files and you had to fix it.

To say you were ready to get home would be an understatement.

You drive home in a daze, desperately trying to keep yourself alert. After blasting screamo music and an uneventful car ride, you finally make it back to your shared apartment with Megumi. You glanced at your phone – 8pm. Megumi should have dinner ready by now. Your boyfriend was a stoic one, but was caring, nevertheless. He understood your dream of becoming a doctor and what that entailed. He did everything he could to try to help around the house and even took over most of the household chores on top of his responsibilities as a sorcerer.

“Hey, Gumi,” you tiredly sigh as you open the door. You were greeted with the smell of strong spices, signaling he made your favorite, curry.

“Hey Y/N, how was your shift this today?” You hear him call from down the hall. The sounds of him shuffling around had you giggling a little bit. He always seemed a little flustered whenever you came home from work.

You continued down the hall, turning left into the kitchen. Your jaw dropped to the ground. Before you, Megumi was wearing the “I Kissed the Chef” apron you had bought him as joke for his birthday last year.

Before you could even say a word about it, Megumi used his long legs to stride across the kitchen to give you a kiss to make you quiet.

“Shh, it was the only thing we had clean to cook curry in,” he groans into your kiss.

“I didn’t say I was complaining,” winking at him as he pulled away. “This looks absolutely perfect. How did you know today was a long one?”

“Just did,” he winks back. After a few more minutes of playful banter, you were feeling more at ease. You helped him set the table and proceeded to eat your dinner. Every bite helped relax you and by the time you were done eating, you had practically passed out at the table. Megumi gently tapped you awake to move you from the table to your shared bedroom. You didn’t even have the energy to clean the dishes tonight.

Megumi helped you undress, eyes not roaming from his task. He put you in your favorite set of pj’s and pulled down the covers while you brushed your teeth. As you climbed into bed, you let out a scream, startling Megumi.

“Huh? Are you okay?” He asked, hurrying over to your side in a blind panic.

“I have my licensing exam in 2 days! I haven’t studied for it at all!” you panicked. Your breathing had picked up and you started to hyperventilate. “I only have 1 day of actual studying I can do! Megumi, I need to go study right now!”

Megumi started to rub your back gently, already knowing that even if you did try to stay awake, he would have to move you back into the bedroom after 10 minutes. “Y/N, everything will be fine. You can study all day tomorrow. You are exhausted. You won’t be able to do your best if you aren’t rested. How about we go to bed for now and I can wake you when I get up in the morning to work out, hm?”

“But –”

“Nope, go to sleep. I will wake you in the morning. Love you, goodnight.” He pushes you down further into your pillow with little resistance. He moves across the room to climb into his side of bed, softly pulling you into him to cuddle. Your body was no longer putting up a fight and you passed out within 3 minutes of him pulling you close.

Around 5am, Megumi fulfilled his promise and woke you up from your slumber. You had around 8 hours of sleep and were feeling well enough rested to start studying. This would be easy, no problem.

There was most definitely a problem.

While you were trying to stare at your computer with intensity, you did not consider that Megumi was going to be working out in the living room. Shirtless. You could not keep your gaze off of him; you watched his strong back muscles flex every time he lifted the weights. He was doing upper body today and he was unknowingly giving you a show.

Focus, Y/N, focus. You have to become a doctor, stop looking at the sweat falling down his jaw in the most delicious way possible. BAD ME, you kept thinking over and over again. The words on your computer were starting to blur together and you’ve read this same line 15 times. You already knew the mitochondria was the powerhouse of the cell, why was it going to be on a licensing exam anyways? You peaked up again.

Oh god. It had already been an hour and Megumi was killing your soul. He had stripped down to just his compression shorts due to the humidity and now his thighs were on full display. You couldn’t stop yourself from licking your lips. All you wanted was a taste, just a small one. You could study later, right? You needed your boyfriend and every delectable part of him. Megumi had (finally) felt a pair of eyes on his back and turned around.

“Hm? You need something, Y/N?”

You wished you could die from embarrassment. How was he oblivious to his appeal? Did he not understand that he was a literal god walking on this earth? You had to get yourself together. No more distractions.

“I love you, but I need you to go away because you’re really bloody distracting and I have to pass this test tomorrow,” you accidentally shout at him.

“Ehhh? What do you mean? I’m just working out,” Megumi questioned you.

“You are shirtless, Gumi and I am not strong enough to just watch. Please leave.”

Megumi looked at you blankly for a few seconds before a mischievous grin took its place. “Well, that just won’t do. Maybe if you finish studying or need to take a break in the next 30 minutes, I may be able to give you what you want.”

Before you knew it, he had walked into the bathroom and turned the shower on. You soon had the power of Lightning McQueen on your side. Speed, faster than faster, quicker than quick. I am speed. There was just no way you were going to be able to study now. You soon followed your boyfriend into the bathroom, and he fulfilled another unspoken promise.

[ssa-daddyhotchner]

Undercover - Chapter 3

Chapter Selection

Few days later

I woke up at 5am with my alarm blaring. I turn it off covering my face with the pillow then taking a deep breath and standing up. Going to the kitchen I brew a pot while taking a shower.

Using my lavender shampoo and conditioner then washing them out. I look down and see Aarons body wash and I chose to use that instead. 

When I finish my shower my coffee is ready and its 5:20am. While getting dressed my phone lights the room.

Aaron - Morning, when you come in today go straight to my office; I wanna ask you something

Y/N - Okay, I should be there in about half and hour

I grab my things and go to the parking lot; getting into my car and heading to work. It was a short drive occasionally getting some texts from Aaron. 

Walking into the building I pass Reid, joining him in the elevator. "Morning", I could see him shuffling getting closer to the doors so he could leave.

"Morning", with that the doors opened and he rushed out going to his desk. I shrug off what's happening with him, putting my stuff at my desk then straight to Aarons office; I knock on the door.

"Come in", he still kind of had his morning voice. It was deep and gravely, "What's this about." 

He leans back putting his pen on the desk, "Can you shut the door please." Shutting the door he resumes, "I wanted to ask you out on a date." 

Oh I looked a little surprised, "That'd be nice." I take a seat in front of him, "Dinner?" 

"I could eat", I flash him a smile; getting up over to his chair and sitting on his lap. His large hands automatically moving to my hips and ass. 

I brought my hands to cup his face, "Good Morning."

My lips pressed to his, biting his bottom lip. Getting a groan from him he moved a hand into the waistband of my pants. My hands making its way into his hair and tugging. 

I moved away before it got too heated, but the damage was done.

"Well hello", I could feel him underneath me; I grinned and shifted on his lap, "Fuck." He said through his teeth, "You love teasing me don't you." 

I smiled and met his gaze. "It's what I'm best at luckily for you I'm willing to help with your- uh problem." 

I palm him through his pants him groaning in my ear. I sank to my knees looking into his eyes; I undid his belt. He lifted his hips so I could pull him out. 

Taking him out of his boxers, his cock smacking his stomach before going straight. 

He was bigger than any of the men I've been with. I knew he was packing but damn, I thought to myself. 

I pump him a few times before flatting a stripe from the base all the way up his shaft, running my tongue along his tip with small little circles. 

"Little girl please", he groaned; I internally smiled to myself. I wrapped my mouth around him; hollowing my cheeks. Aaron laid his head on the back of his chair. 

I relaxed as I pushed him all the way till he hit the back of my throat. 

I pumped what I couldn't fit; His hand found it's way into my hair guiding my movements up and down. He hissed when my tongue flatted on the underside of his cock. Aaron bucked his hips forcing himself into me. 

I quickened my pace, my lungs burning from the lack of oxygen; tears springing from the corners of my eyes. He looked at me in awe never breaking eye contact. 

"Baby I-", I could feel his dick twitch and I quickened my pace. I wanted to taste him, I hummed around him pushing him over the edge. 

"Be a good girl", I swallowed every last drop. He cleaned up the sides of my mouth and put himself back into his pants.

I gave him a long kiss, walked to the door and unlocked it; walking down the ramp to my desk. Hotch sent me a text. He opened his blinds so I could see him.

Aaron- I'll pick you up at 7, and wear something fancy

________________________________

It was 6:00 and I still needed to get ready; I got side tracked from cleaning my apartment. I get undressed and took a shower washing everything and shaving everything. When I got out it was 6:20.

I curled my hair once it was dry; I throw on some black heels and a tight black dress with a slit going to my mid thigh. It was exactly 7pm when I heard a knock at my door. 

I saw it was Aaron and I opened the door. He wore a black dress shirt that hugged his frame and black pants. Aaron eyed me up and down. "You look gorgeous', he wouldn't stop looking; it made my face red. 

"And you sir are very handsome", he held out his arm and we walked to his car. I held on to his bicep; he went ahead and opened my side of the car. He got in and headed to the restaurant, his hand on my thigh the whole drive. 

We arrive at a strip there are multiple things lighting the street. He opens my side holding out his hand. "Thank you", he walked us over to an Italian restaurant. 

"Reservation for Hotchner", the women takes a second; "Ah here we are right this way." Our table is in the corner of the room so we can view everything. 

I ordered the Chicken Marsala and Aaron ordered the Spaghetti Carbonara. I had 3 glasses of white wine and was tipsy. The conversation was light half taking about work the other half about our hobbies and other friends. 

"Check please", Aaron held onto my hand on the table. "What are we doing now", I said excitedly. "I wanted to walk around for a bit", I gripped his hand; nodded and we left. 

He took me to a park not too far from the restaurant; there were lights hanging in the trees and was well lit till we got to the water. 

I heard the waves smacking against the rocks below us. There was a warm breeze; we began walking along the water. 

This time I grabbed his hand; interlacing our fingers. "Y/n", I tilt my head looking to the side.

I hummed, he takes a deep breath. "On your first case when you were basically sleeping on me", I started to giggle. 

"I saw that there were uh- scars running down you back", I tensed up an closed my eyes almost completely letting go of him but he held on. 

I wanted to hide an lock myself away those were memories I didn't need to be reminded of but he wanted to know. "Y/n what happened." His voice was low and soft like he was trying not to scare me away. 

I stopped in my tracks tugging on his hand to turn around, "My ex husband...he was great at first, after about a year he started to get aggressive. 

Always snapping at me for no reason hitting me, one da-." I looked away avoiding his eyes trying to blink away the tears. 

"One day I decided I had enough and tried to fight back then leave. He tied me to the bad post on my stomach while he dragged the knife across my back. He would take his time saying 'This is what you deserve'." 

"He kept me there for a few days till he let me go and threated me. I got away but I don't know what happened to him after that." Aarons face was written with sadness traces of tears in his eyes. 

I was still avoiding facing him but he grabbed my chin gently and making me look at him. There were tears streaming down my face, my make-up was smudging. 

He moved his hand from my chin to my cheek cupping it. "I would never do that to you, understand." 

He let out a sigh, "My god y/n." He held my waist pulling me towards him. I threw my arms around his neck standing on my toes, I put my head on his shoulder crying. 

"Can you take me home", I said in a whisper. Aaron nodded, "Of course." 

We walked to the car and then drove me home, I was holding his hand the whole drive. He walked me to my door, "Goodnight....just know you can always talk to me...okay?" 

I gave him a weak smile, "Okay." 

I opened the door and kissed his cheek. "Goodnight", and I shut it going straight to bed. 

____________________________

2 weeks later

I wake up at 2am unable to go back to sleep. The thought of my ex running the blade on me makes me stiffen up and wanna break down. 

I reach for my phone scrolling through my contacts. 

My finger hovering over Hotchs determining if I really wanna bother him with this. I click his name; the phone ringing and he picks up.

"Hotchner", I smirk to myself; just hearing is voice relaxes me. 

"Hey it's y/n", I hear him sit up waking up a bit more. "What is it?", I really don't wanna bother him.

"It uh- nevermind", he shuffles and I sit up. "No it's okay you can tell me"

"I'm just... having trouble sleeping." 

"Can you maybe come over, you don't have too If-", he cuts me off. 

"It's not a problem I'll be there." We both hang up; I get up waiting for him. 

Someone knocking on my door; I open it, "Hey." I said sounding small still feeling like a burden. 

He had a bag on his shoulder and he drops it on the couch. Hotch tugs my hand to sit on the stool, "How are you really", I honestly didn't know how to answer that.

I've been having some trouble sleeping. I've noticed that I'm drinking a little more than I usually do. 

"I'm not sure, but I've been having trouble sleeping, been drinking a little more. My ex is basically haunting my dreams right now. I don't remember the last time I had a good nights sleep by myself." 

Aaron looking at me genially listening to what I have to say, like he actually cares. 

He grabs my hand and I continue. "The only time I'm actually okay is... with you." 

He brings me towards him kissing my temple, "I think you're the first person to say that an mean it." I push him back a little bit, "Come on I'm being serious." He chuckles and I pout a bit. 

We sit there for another half an hour mainly talking about my problems. 

I end the conversation grabbing his hand an pulling him to the bedroom. I get under the covers and he lays next to me.

My back against his torso; his hand tracing my spine. Placing kissing up and down my jaw an neck. 

He sucks gently leaving behind light purple marks. I moan but I cut him off flipping to face him. 

"Now now we'll have time for that tomorrow, but right now I just wanna sleep." Pouting a bit, but he understands. 

He lays on his back, my face on his chest I trace the scars on his stomach. 

Tangling our legs together I find his hand lacing our fingers. His deep breaths on the top of my head relaxes me, "Goodnight little girl."

Aaron POV

I wake up in her arms, the sun peaking through the curtains illuminating her face. 

She’s gorgeous, I whisper into her ear, "I'll always be here. I'll never hurt you." She shifted and moved her hand to my side. 

We hadn't discussed what this was but I already knew what I wanted; I said to her, "I want you to be mine and I wanna be yours." She lifted her head and looked at me.

"Really?", want and need flashed through her eyes. "Really", I said in a reassuring tone. She cupped my face and crashed her lips with mine. 

I pulled away looking her in her eyes, "Now now we'll have time for that later." I got up and headed to the shower. Getting back at her for saying that to me last night.

I walked away with a huge ass smile.

Leaving her on the bed in a shock. I stepped into the shower letting the hot water run down my body. 

Y/n POV 

He wanted me; he just left me hanging. He's not getting away that easy. I opened the shower curtains and stepped in after him. 

Wrapping my arms around his waist running my hands down his stomach and to his shaft. 

His breath hitches and he started to harden. He turned around; not a second goes by and his lips smashing into mine. 

His tongue swipes along my bottom lip. I let his in and he bites my lip, I groan into the kiss. 

I go to move my hands along his cock but he slams me on the tile wall pinning my hands above my head; the water running down his body. Droplets of water dripping of his hair on to my skin. 

My back arching from the cold surface, "I do the touching, understand." I didn't know what to say. 

I whimpered and he jolted onto me; in a stern voice he said, "Come on little girl use your words." 

I kiss him biting on his lip almost drawing blood; I pull away and stare into his eyes, "I understand."

"Good girl", he dragged his movements bringing his hand to my inner thigh and grabbing. 

I suppress my moan just begging for him to finally touch me. He got closer an closer to where I needed, teasing me but never giving me release. 

"Please", I whimpered. His mouth got close to my ear, "Okay baby." His fingers finally doing circles on my clit as he nibbled on my ear lobe. 

I moved me hips to gain some extra friction.

"Baby", I cried out. "I want you jus-", he slipped a finger into my wet pussy thrusting in and out hitting my g-spot. 

He inserted a third finger; combined with his thumb rubbing it was beginning to be too much. Just as I was about to tip over the edge he stopped.

He pulled out his finger and I cried out, "Why'd you stop." With out warning he slammed his cock into me not letting me adjust to his size. 

He brought his hand to my throat lightly choking me. Pounding into me still holding me into place, he pressed harder around my neck.

I put my leg up on the side of the tub. Fucking me from a new angle I pull him into another kiss. His mouth muffling my moans.

He signals me upwards and I wrap my legs around his waist.

I throw my head back in euphoria as I get closer to my high. Aaron thrust start to falter, I can feel him pulsating; he's close too. 

I clench around him and he releases a loud moan. He hisses through his teeth, "Fu- baby just like that."

"Aaron", I moan out breathlessly as my high washes over me. He slows his movements riding it out; making me feel every inch.

He resumes his pace pounding into me when I pull his hair leaning his head to the side; I nip, kiss, and suck on his neck leaving my mark on him. 

He moaned loudly into my ear taking both of my hands and pinning them back over my head. His thrust became sloppy and he twitched inside me. 

He pressed his forehead to mine and gave me a long kiss as he pulled out. I winced and he pulling me into the water putting shampoo into my hair, "You did so good baby." Massaging my scalp while placing kisses on my shoulder.

Rinsing it out and washing my body I do the same for him. We step out of the shower and get dressed. 

"Did you wanna get some breakfast." While getting dressed, "Yeah that's good, maybe we can invite the team too. Honestly I haven't really talked to them all that much this week." 

"I'll call them", I smile and we go get breakfast. "Oh and I wanted to talk to you about Reid." 

____________________________

@mac99martin @donttellanyoneireadfanfiction @appleblossoms-posts @marie1115

[choco-myth]

okay so i did the stupid thing and stayed up till 2am to watch the entire abema stream

it is now 5 am and my eyes want to die

my liveblogging under the cut (its really long lol) please keep in mind that all the info might not be accurate as it is extremely late for me and i am prone to error

beginning was mostly cutesy scenario interview questions

hanae natsuki (riddle va) likes trey, says their relationship feels very real and tender

azuls va likes the tweels more than azul lol

the stage actors are more nervous abt recording lol

treys va thinks riddle is very cute

jamil and ace va both pulled and got their birthday boys

HALLOWEEN PARTY BATTLE??

with p r i z e s

red (hearts/scarab) vs blue (octa/igni + special helper grim LOL)

winner gets cake in the shape of grims face omggg

OH THEYRE PLAYING CHARADES

deuce is up :V

odamn theyre getting a lot right (hanae natsuki so speedy shdksjjsdk)

they got i think 12 points

aoi shouta up for blue team

BLUE TEAM NOT GETTING ANYTHING LOLLL

they're so behind omg

futaba next!! jamil in da mirror what will he do

OH.... WORD CHARADES INSTEAD IG

azul next!!

"multiple people working together" "TWISTED WONDERLAND" omggg

they got 90 points damn

red team still in the lead, but theyre getting an extra 30 seconds so we shall see owo

THEY GOT 40 POINTS NICE TAMARA

red team wins 160 - 140 AMAZING

HALLOWEEN CM HALLOWEEN CM FHCKING HALLOWEENNCM JAIDJSJDJSJDJDJS

okay so i think i saw jiangshi malleus?? definitely saw wolf kalim. think i saw pirate savanaclaw too, and really pretty pomefiore. actually i think the cm was voiced by vils va

NEW CARD ILLUSTRATIONS

FANCYTIER PLAGUE DOCTOR DEUCE RARE

WOLF KALIM RARE

JACK O LANTERN IDIA RARE

PRETTY GHOST AZUL SR

CATER SSR IM GOINGTO LOSE MY SHIT

ANOTHER SSR, MUMMY JADE

I AM LOSING MY SHIT CAY KUN CAY KUN ALL MY DIAS

AAAAAAAA

goodbye first cast :(((

the tweels keep making stupid hand symbols behind azuls head ahdjsjsjjs

kalims va: i found out whenever im in trouble i can just go "ne???" [turns to futaba], and things will be okay

i opened up social media to send distress posts and my whole computer started lagging i am booboo the fool

2nd cast came in!! and zakki is wearing an ugly tie shdjsjsj

also ruggies va has a tie... (i think its supposed to be hyena or cheetah themed??? we stan)

jacks va oshi is epel, jackpel fackin confirmed folks

ruggies va also likes idia and sebek

SEBEKS VAS OSHI IS MALMAL

all the pomes were nervous when recording 🥺

kaito kazuki being an experienced va but was still nervous abt nailing malmals character omg 🥺

epels va has a dog named epel whadda fack......

grim cake... 2!

its 4am im dozing off a bit idk how the teams are separated atm

think its savanaclaw and pomefiore vs diasomnia + grim

wild and beauty team to describe them... omg tsunotaro and nakama team...

gooo epel!!

EPELS VA IS SO PRECIOUS OMG

damn ruggie va doing the guesswork!!

somebody won. i think it was tsunotaro and nakama team, its 4:20 i am dead in da water sorry

NEVER MIND PIECE OF MY WORLD SOON

TO BE CONTINUED???? WHY

omg?? someone said that epels va is related to one of the night ravens??

epel rare!! what a cutie

actuag tbh

SR JACK

SR LILIMAL AAAAAAAAA

SSR VIL FUCK GODDAMN THOSE BOOTS

it 5am now im gonna clear my ap and then pass out

mkay if u made it here thbaks for reading ok goodnight

[chil2de]

Oh take as long as you need love, hope you were able to get the furniture you wanted and that the remodelling’s going well, love you - 🥰

i will sell you my entire soul, a kidney or literally a lung for ur forgiveness because i’ve been mia for ages LMFAOO

i’ll talk about myself afterwards!!! i heard about your exams baby, i’m so fucking happy that you passed! i had a premonition since the start and i knew you had it in you :D believe me when i say i started grinning, u better have celebrated and treated urself to some nice things!!!!!!!

congrats on the reread! i have to give major kudos in the first place that you even had the patience to go through with it in the first place, no because seriously that’s genuine dedication it’s mindblowing. like. you would sit there and read through all my old works?🥺🥺 ur my no.1 contender of giving me heart problems istgggg

i’m totally fine if you wanna keep sending asks instead, i genuinely don’t mind and i’d prefer for you to be comfortable. so whatever you do end up choosing, i’ll support it regardless!

it’s been a while so maybe you read up on the jjk manga? mayhaps? lemme know, cause i’m interested to hear about it! i swear jjk came back as well, i saw some of the recent chapters briefly

the jjk shirts sold out super fast but i managed to grab a white one with four panels of the curses on em, the one with jougo, m*hito sukuna and someone else who is probably not of importance if i can’t remember their name LMAO— it’s nice!! the material is 100% cotton so its one of those stiff-er(?) shirts, 10/10 would recommend for you to get one the next time they’re in stock again

i remember very faintly how i said i’d recommend you some anime LMFAO excuse me it’s 5am as i write this but i was extremely hellbent on getting back to you before sleep <3 dont wanna worry ya

you should totally check out oregairu whenever you can, or maybe violet evergarden? they’re not similar in any way shape or form to gintama, jjk, hq etc but.. they hold a special place in my heart ;; i suck at explaining without accidentally spoiling things or rambling for ages so check out the blurb for them whenever you can ! plus the animation in ve is absolutely stunning

and yeah, i’m from england! i get you completely djghdhg it’s just because most fic writers are american so at a certain point i just wired it into my brain, then whenever i meet someone who’s from england i just get so excited it’s like ?? wow?? you know what anime is? i hope that doesn’t sound rude LMAO it’s just how i said before that the lack of anything anime related here is horrid. esp waterstones, like you said. god that’s awful. i recently caught up on the haikyuu manga online but i wanna support the author by buying the volumes and they’re literally sold out or sold in strange numbers </3

aside from that, how have you been?? taking care of yourself? happy september, btw! it’s basically autumn now, an absolute shocker of a fact but i’m trying my first ever psl whenever starbucks releases them here~

tysm as per usual for your kind complimentsss AAAA u have no right!! absolutely no right to make me blush. genuinely a crime, you should be locked away and kept under supervision :<<< thank youuuu you are the sweetest angel to walk this earthhh~

i’m starting to slowly try to ease myself back into writing for gintama lmaoo, it’s a slow process but i’ll get there eventually!! just gotta wait for my hyperfixations to shift, is all

as for me, the remodelling’s going pretty good! i’ve picked up most of the things i’ve needed like paint, new led strips and bed sheets. i made a grave mistake of buying a mirror from ebay and it smashed in transit LGMHJJD it’s okay you can laugh cause i totally did too, so i’m going up to ikea again next week to get that plus a bed because mine broke? it just.. collapsed? also very funny i promise you it’s not tragic at all <3

thinking of covering up a wall where my pc’s going to go with manga panels, especially haikyuu and blue lock (another sports manga, it’s about football! 10/10 would recommend) because the panels are just *chefs kiss* especially... miya atsumu... damn like timeskip tsumie just hits so different idk why, plus some sneaky gintama panels to help me forget that i still haven’t watched the movie and refuse to watch it. that’s a lie, actually. i got 30 mins in before i quit cause it felt like i was going to violently sob /j

sorry if i missed anything that you said! pinky promise i read it but my brain might’ve short circuited, u definitely have permission to bully me into it if i did forget (i say this like you’re not a kind soul and you wouldn’t just remind me nicely in a soft tone LMAO)

yeah!!! they do have cutouts, they shouldn’t let me and u near them tho cause we’ll end up taking a few home LMAO

first class tickets hell yeahhhh here we go🥺🥺🥺 i call dibs on paying for the shinkansen!!! we can go to the anime district, get some cool merch! akihabara? i think? pretty sure! also does japan sell squishmallows? everyone keeps talking about them but no one sells them in the uk... i want to expand my stuffed animal collection but build a bear charges like 40 quid for no good reason (that sentence in itself was the epitome of being british)

alright that’s a goodnight from me! i hope you’re having an absolutely great day/night/ evening, if not, hope it’s tolerable instead (:

take a sip of water<3

[hange-zone]

hey...i’ve sat with the ending for a bit and am still not entirely sure what to feel. i will say i’m bit sad that it’s over - i started this series with friends back in 2014, and was little and giddy and excited about it. i consumed a lot of jeanmarco fic (wisteria! LAD! render! strings! etc) and that one really good eremin (we were kings...which is probably half the reason why i’m writing it so feverishly now) + fanart (johannathemad! icarus theory! gimmes! many many more that i’m happy to share but don’t remember right now cos it’s 5am)

and then life went on and i forgot about it mostly because...life...and only got back into it a few months ago when the anime was back on netflix and i watched most of it in the span of a week. and i’m here, again.

i have to admit i don’t exactly read the manga and i stopped the anime for a bit because at the heart of it i’m also not sure how to feel about the time skip. i think that’s on me though - the basement was built up to be this black box and i think a large part of the fun was the not knowing, and the journey to the basement was used as a framing device. so once we found out that fell away and i don’t think any reveal would have been completely satisfactory. and i have issues with the timeskip but it’s probably me being picky (lol dm me if you’d like to know more, i am such a rambler)

though admittedly there are parts of the post timeskip i do enjoy - you can tell i’m obsessed with that one scene eren and armin stare at each other, i love the new designs, i especially love armin lol - and I appreciate parts of the perspective it’s trying to give too in the broadest sense (ie the anti-war themes...effect of propaganda... at least I THINK that’s what we were supposed to take away at the start of season 4 because I stopped watching the show then for a whole host of reasons)

was looking over (ok, glued to) reddit yesterday and it occured to me parts of the fandom (read: r/yeagerbomb) can be quite toxic (as with any large fandom I guess!) so I was hoping to avoid that but also like understand what’s going on...i think honestly i was a bit disappointed in the ending, at first i was actually upset but now i’m just...alright. mostly i think i’m sad it’s ended and that’s mixed up with how I feel in general. but I've thought about it and overall it’s an  ending in the broadest sense, I mean it largely served its purpose and I think importantly for endings, tied up main threads of the plot. and i respect the decisions the author has made, even as we’re all entitled to our opinion and you can disagree. I do wish some other choices made or it were done slightly differently. mostly I wish it had more time to develop some themes and I think generally some parts of the series were a bit convoluted. 

if you’d like my (uninformed) thoughts i am happy to share - they’re in more detail below! and i’d like to hear yours too:)

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if it helps i didn’t buy the whole ‘chad eren’ thing at all - at heart he is still a nineteen year old boy and he’s probably still small and scared - something which i’ve explored! - and while i appreciate that eremika didn’t exactly come out of nowhere i’ve always read it as them wanting the domesticity with each other, wanting to live out full, normal lives, but not necessarily just about the exclusivity of a relationship, which is what some readings of the last chapter seemed to suggest (& hence i kinda get why people are so mad that that he comes off as an incel but idk, maybe it’s the translations? i personally am choosing to read it as the first part - that he wanted deep down to have the space to live out a long, natural life with the people he loves).

but wrt to eremika my main thing is that i’m a bit iffy on the parallels to ymir because personally i’m not a bit fan of that entire ymir/fritz thread...1) i get the slave...to love but it also feels a bit like it romanticises their relationship? maybe i’m reading too much into it. but more importantly to me 2) i feel it complicates things a bit because we can’t then pin down if it’s eren or her making the executive decisions which then becomes a bit more thematically murky and doesn’t help with characterisation...I mean if he’s a plot device then he is a plot device, if he’s a character with agency then he’s a character, if he blurs the line between both it becomes a bit of an issue as there aren’t real stakes and character development then becomes a bit of a question mark since there’s also this tendency to reduce him to a symbol...and yeah, as we see the whole  headache-inducing nature of this is quite evident now... (and i want to feel for eren!)

also not a super fan of the eren sending dina. but i’m reminded of the discussions around mr robot and standing in the stream of time wrt white rose but eh, time travel plots are always a bit inscrutable and honestly always make things difficult. personally i rationalise it as more of he sent them away from Bert than to his mother. maybe he had the vague understanding of what it’d do but exactly why he did it was different, which idk, makes all the difference to me. 

but i do appreciate what the ending was trying to show, even if I personally don't think it was the best, i do appreciate eren’s vulnerability, his last talk with armin broke me, and appreciate that jean is okay, levi is okay, and he got to see everyone else again. i’m also kinda appreciative of the bird symbolism though i don’t think it’s any more than that...also it makes me think that poor eren, he’s burdened with Glorious Purpose & like it’s not gonna stop until he’s dead, right :/ also was under no illusions that it was gonna be a happy ending and everyone would be satisfied somehow or another so eh. I do wish that some things were done differently, I would have done some things differently, but also I acknowledge the constraints of the medium and I think some nuances didn't come across/writing could be tighter. maybe we’ll see when the anime comes out, if some of us stick around that long.

also my monkey brain is choosing to fixate on little, abstract things like oh, armin looks so cute with his hair slicked back...so kudos for that and maybe there’s some hamfisted thing about telling the story...giving it meaning...like horatio? maybe? lol goodnight sweet prince eren...i AM overthinking it probably. anyway if you think about it, it’s the death of the author (ie Barthes) and meaning is created not just when it’s encoded in the text, but when we read and experience it -- which gives us some leeway as to how we interpret the whole series, if you’d really like. so this is my outlook:”)

ok this has turned out longer than i expected and is undercut by actually a lot of salt ahh and i actually have a whole sort of treatise on it! but i think i am a bit emotionally exhausted because i always care too much so i think i'll take a break before I get back to prompts, sorry...

anyway what i mean to say is if you made it this far thank you & that i’m interested to hear what people think! so come send in the ask or reply to this - and feel free to disagree etc but let’s be peaceable about it:)

[nat-roman0ff]

saturday, wait

the here and now; sequel to another certain time and place (read the full series in my masterlist)

ii. saturday, wait the one where time starts to catch up wc: 2454 warnings: mentions of depression, bad words, and fluff

---

The skies of Toronto opened up Saturday morning at about 5am. She only knew this because there was a gutter that ran above the window on their bedroom balcony door that constantly overfilled. The steady drip drip woke her up from a very lovely dream to a cold and lonely bed. 

 Shawn had been gone for just over a month now and the loneliness was beginning to set in. He’d insisted she move into the condo before he left, so they scattered at the last second to bring all her things over in time for him to take off on the last leg of tour. She rolls over to stare at Shawn’s unmade side of the bed and sighs. There’s not a single wrinkle in the white of his duvet. The condo still didn’t feel like it was quite theirs; but more like she was on an extended house sitting visit. She played through the motions (oftentimes accidentally setting off his stereo system that she still didn’t know how to work) and kept the household going. 

 She watches the fat drops of water slam and streak down the glass of the balcony door. The skies seem to hang low today, and everything is covered in a sheet of gray. She grabs her phone to confirm the time and rolls her face into her pillow to scream in frustration. 

There’s an itch she can’t quite scratch. It’s the weekend - which means she doesn’t have to do anything. But she can’t stand staying at the condo, it’s a constant reminder that Shawn isn’t here and she is. It’s like a tomb of memories that she can never escape, every step is a reminder that he’s on the road and she’s not waking up in his arms every morning. But, she lacks the energy to actually do anything. Plans with friends go cancelled and never rescheduled, and as the days pass she becomes increasingly homebound, despite the pain it causes her. 

 Tossing and turning, she ends up staring at the ceiling. She watches the memories project onto the ceiling like old school films, playing over and over, just there to remind her of her loneliness. There’s no escape from him here, but her brain and heavy heart tell her to just stay in bed.

 Just get up and pee, go make yourself some toast, pour a cup of coffee, anything. She begs to herself but its like she’s chained to the bed and without the responsibilities of work (on the days she’d actually shown up lately), she can’t seem to make herself move.

 Around six thirty her phone buzzes. Her eyes blink lazily. She knows it’s Shawn but she’s not in a rush to answer. Despite missing him at the depths of her core she’s not desperate for him. She doesn't want FaceTime or phone calls, she doesn’t want a goodnight text or a morning meme. She wants him here, next to her in this empty fucking bed. 

 Her hand reaches onto the bedside table and grabs her phone. Of course it’s a message from Shawn as she suspected. It’s a simple one;

 good morning, gremlin. i know you’re probably still snoozing but i wanted you to have something to wake up to. day off today, so call me when you get up and we can facetime a bit. love youuuuuuuuuuuu.

 It almost hurts to smile, it’s been a while. 

 hi bub. feeling down this morning and could stand to hear your voice. call me when you’re able to, i’m just laying in bed.

 The phone rings almost instantly, “hi baby,” Shawn says, his voice low, still groggy with sleep.

 “Hi,” she manages, her own voice cracking. 

 “What’s got you up so early?” He asks. 

 “Rain.” 

 Shawn laughs, “that damn gutter, huh?” 

 “Yeah.” 

 He notices her shortness and knows it’s not from tiredness but tells himself so anyways. He doesn’t want to be a thousand miles away worried about his girlfriend back at home. Maybe he’ll call his mom later to pop over and check on her or call a mutual friend to take her out for lunch. Shawn knows she’s taken it hard, it was a different type of goodbye now than before when they were just friends. 

 “Do you have any plans this weekend?” Shawn asks.

 She yawns, “not really. Maybe read a book or do some laundry.” 

 “Oh,” he pips, “I could have my mum come over and visit for a bit.” 

 “You don’t have to do that Shawn,” it comes out almost venomous. 

 He sighs, “I’m just worried. People have been telling me you’re not going out much, cancelling on them last minute. Are you okay, baby?” 

 She breathes in deep and lets out a long single breath, “no.” 

 There’s no stopping the floodgate of tears that happens then. It’s not just him being gone, either. Work is exhausting and uninspiring and she feels herself slipping away from the things she loved to do, and the people she loved to do things with. 

 “Fuck, I wish I could come home,” Shawn breathes. 

 He doesn’t make her talk, he doesn’t ask questions. He just lets her cry and it takes everything in his power not to cry with her because he can feel his heart shattering as she gasps for breaths between sobs and he hates himself for not being there and holding her in his arms.

 When she’s finished, she’s silent. Neither of them speak for a while and she waits until her breathing has returned to normal and her face is wiped dry of tears to speak, “I’m sorry.” 

 “W-what?” Shawn sputters, “baby, do not apologize. I want to make sure you’re alright. I’m gonna come home. I don’t care if it’s for an hour. I’m coming home. If I leave for the airport now there’s a flight that will get me there this afternoon. Can you pick me up at the airport at three?” 

 “Shawn that’s crazy, you’re going to be so tired. I’ll go see your parents or something. I’ll be fine, I’m just in a funk,” she pleads. The last thing she wants to do is cause issues and force him home just because she’s sad. 

 Well, she’s more than just sad she thinks. She’s depressed, and she knows it. And the sooner she accepts it, the better off she’ll probably be. Depression is a slippery and nonlinear slope. At first she trips into it, noticing she’s more disengaged than usual, then the anxiety and overthinking kicks in, followed up with isolation until eventually the days blend so fluidly together she can’t tell if it’s June or Saturday.

 She can never pinpoint exactly when it happens, at least not until she’s drowning in her own sorrow and can’t get herself out. When bed is the only place she wants to be and she hasn’t eaten or drank in thirty-six hours. 

 “No, I’m coming home or I’m bringing you to me. Take your pick.” 

 She sighs, “just come home.” 

 ---

 Her thumb nervously taps the steering wheel as she waits outside the arrivals terminal at Toronto Pearson. She’s chewed her lower lip in to bits and it’s sore and chapped. She hadn’t bothered to get dressed, and wore one of Shawn’s teeshirts and a pair of leggings for the occasion. There’s a metallic taste when she chews on her nail beds, adding to the already scabbed hangnails that adorned her fingertips.

 Shawn spots her first and runs towards the Jeep. He throws open the passenger’s side door and wraps his arms around her, his elbow hitting the horn and scaring them both. He pulls back and her face feels heavy in his hand. A tired and empathetic, “baby,” is all he can say. 

 They drive home in silence, their fingers interlaced. Shawn peppers kisses on the back of her hand and up her arm but sparks no reaction. His heart sinks into his stomach. It’s so fucking painful to see her like this, so radically unlike herself. There’s no sarcastic quip, or banter or even fucking speck of his usual girl in there and that terrfies him. 

 “What do you want to do for dinner?” He asks, rubbing the back of her hand with his thumb.

 She shrugs, “don’t know.” 

 “When’s the last time you ate?” 

 She shrugs again, “can’t remember.” 

 Shawn’s head rests on her shoulder and he lets out a sigh, “will you please come back with me?”

 She can feel the tears bubbling up again. She wants to say yes, she wants to say yes so fucking bad. But she knows Shawn and being with Shawn will not be the end all cure all. The thing about depression is, it doesn’t just go away with a change of scenery. It’ll go dormant for a while, sure; weeks, months, years even, if you’re lucky. And then all of a sudden it shows up again out of nowhere like a bad rash and it’s back to square one all over again. 

 “I don’t think that’ll help, Shawn,” she says as they pull into the parking garage at the condo. 

 He treads lightly, “I don’t want to start an argument with you baby, I just want you to feel your best again. At least if we’re together you aren’t alone.” 

 Her hand leaves his and she puts the Jeep into park, shuts off the ignition and unclicks her seatbelt. She thinks, hard. It’s the hardest she’s thought in a while and she forgets the feeling of trying to rationally mull something over. Her forehead tingles a little, and she weighs the options that Shawn has presented to her;

 One; stay home. Stay home at the condo, wake up Monday through Friday and work a job where she’s disrespected, underappreciated, but is making connections that will hopefully help her in the future of her career.

 Two; leave with Shawn. Go on tour with Shawn and live on a stinky tour bus with two other boys and wake up in a new city every day. But at least they were together.

 “I’ll do it.” 

 Shawn doesn’t think he’s ever smiled so big in his life.

 “Really?” 

 She nods.

 “Well let’s go get you packed then.” 

 ---

 An hour later the bedroom is strewn about with clothes and an open suitcase lying in the middle of their king sized bed. She folds, unfolds, and refolds everything. Nothing seems to fit and it’s making her teeth itch. Shawn just keeps digging through the closet, holding up a random item of clothing and saying ‘this’? When he does it for what seems like the thousandth time, she snaps.

 “Shawn just go in the fucking living room and I’ll finish packing, okay! You’re messing everything up, throwing my shit all around. Just let me finish the packing!” 

 He tries not to let it hurt him. It’s the most emotion he’s gotten out of her in weeks and he supposes it’s a step in the right direction. It’s better than the alternative. Shawn closes the gap between them in a few long strides and kisses her forehead.

 “That’s fine. Just let me know if you need anything and I’ll go book our flight for the morning, alright? I’ll order some dinner and we can take a shower together?” He kisses her temple, and then her chin, and then her jaw. 

 “Okay,” she starts, “and I’m sorry for yelling.” 

 Shawn kisses the top of her head, “it’s alright. I love you.” 

 When he leaves the room she sits on the edge of the bed, staring at the half packed suitcase beside her. She realizes her decision was rash, she’ll have to call her boss on Monday morning and tell her she’s not coming back...like ever, tell her friends that she'll be gone for basically the rest of the year, and her brain was still searching for a way to explain all of this to her mother. But the last part was for another day when her brain wasn’t feeling so scattered. 

 It’s remarkable how quickly she finishes packing when Shawn is out of the room. She finds him in the kitchen making two drinks and dancing around, singing under his breath as he grabs his ingredients from around the room. She has to hide her chuckle when he spots her, covering her mouth with her hand. Shawn reaches his hand out for her to come dance with him.

 The moment her hand is in his, he pulls her close, letting their bodies bump together. He cups her face and gives her a kiss and feels her relax against him, “I missed you,” he says, brushing his nose against hers for an eskimo kiss. 

 “Can we take that shower now?” She asks, kissing his chin. 

 Shawn laces their fingers together and leads them across the condo to the bathroom. She sits on the counter and watches him fuss with the knobs to find the perfect temperature. He wipes his wet hand on his jeans and turns back to her. They undress each other slowly. It’s not sexual in the slightest, but a caring gesture. She steps in first, letting the rainfall showerhead cascade over her. 

 It feels so impossibly good. It’s revitalizing and awakening. Her senses come to and she’s suddenly hyper aware of Shawn standing at the corner of the stall. He waves and she grabs his hand to pull him under the water with her. He turns her body facing away from him, pressing himself against her back and wrapping an arm around her waist. He peppers wet kisses down her shoulders and across her back. 

 “Can I wash your hair?” Shawn asks, his fingertips tracing across her belly.

 She answers as a chill runs through her, it had been so long since she felt his fingertips pressed into her, “yes.” 

 Shawn smirks and grabs the shampoo bottle from the shelf, squirting way too much into his hand and globbing it into her hair. His fingers move without much precision and there’s fits of giggles as he tries to style her heavy hair into various hairstyles. It feels good to laugh and she’s sure the feeling won’t last long, but she’s happy to be back in her cotton candy cloud for a little while.

 When they finish they just hold each other for a while under the warm stream of water. It was terrifying and exciting all at once and it was the first time in too long that she actually felt anything more than an exhausting, draining sadness. Even though they’d been friends for years, the relationship is still so new. 

 Will we grow tired of each other? She thinks. 

 And she doesn’t have that answer right now, and she won’t have that answer until much later.

[0225pm]

hello!!!!!

haven’t posted anything in a long while and i decided to post one tonight before i sleep bc i feel guilty for not updating farhan’s newspaper hahaha. i’m also waiting for my hair to dry a little so yeah kill two birds with one stone!

my eyes are super irritated now btw like the right eye esp wtf i kept rubbing at it bc it feels like there’s smth in my eye and i HATE rubbing my eyes bc it’ll give you wrinkles and break all the capillaries around your eyes causing dark circles like mine is alr dark enough i don’t need it to be any darker. like i think it’s bc of my contacts?? a sigh that i must change my lenses alr pls sponsor me bb degree 500/500 brown or grey lens i’m ok hahahaahahahah. ok so i will try to summarize today as fast and as short as i can even tho i like to type everything down in details so that future me and future farhan may be able to recall memories easier but das ok we gotta be quick

ok so today i called farhan around 230pm cus i had a feeling he slept quite late ytd since he was woken up from his sleep. and i thought 230pm ok la can la not too early not too late cus he has to shower and prep and come over to my area as well. after some calls he finally picked up and then it changed to a video call? he has been video calling me a lot these days like instead of the usual normal calls and i’m not complaining tbh hahahaha i actually love it cus i get to see his face even tho we’re not physically together but i look damn ugly ah so sometimes i’ll not put my face in the camera damn stupid i know cus it’s not like he hasn’t seen my face in its worst condition like back when my acne were literal cysts and he still stayed and didn’t leave but hahaha these kinda insecurities will take a looooooong time for it to go away one la hais anyway ok sorry back to the story of the day!!!

wtf sorry if the paragraphing is weird ah or if got long gaps cus i’m typing w my phone n idk why it’s not letting me like just down space once small little paragraph space but ok nvm let’s not bother about that lmao. ok so then i got ready and did my hair and i’m kinda regretting cutting bangs the other time cus my hair got used to the long fringe that now my bangs curl up if i don’t use hair straightener or if it got wet or if i sweat like it doesn’t stay straight down so sad. then picked out my outfit in my head but i was still wearing home clothes when he came over cus i thought i should wait before i change since we haven’t technically decided on where to go and i rly didn’t wanna sweat before we go out. then we laid in bed for a bit and farhan was being such a cranky old man i just wanna give him a loving punch but i didn’t ofc. then i changed and wore this super cute outfit with my windbreaker and i actually rly like what i wore wth like it’s cute ok but there he was judging my outfit 🙄 annoying pe hahahaha cus it was so hot out and for me to wear a wb like a bit crazy ah so we went out of the house n all then i forgot my damn mask again cb i cannot sia always forget nowadays like can they just lift the rules alr. so i went back to take and then i was like fak i cannot i gotta change into smth less hot bc it rly was so damn hot outside like it looks like it’s cloudy n was boutta rain but no sia so panas gila so i changed into this little ahpek blouse which tbh is one of my fav vintage blouse that i own. i like the fit of it it’s oversized but not too crazy oversized that it just looks weird. i asked farhan and he said it just looks like when someone had sex and then borrowed the man’s shirt to put on and i feel like wow that’s actually quite hot sia mcm give me a bit of an extra boost of confidence liddat lol but anyway ya besides the point.

then after that we went to tampines and had saap saap thai for our lunch. it was niceeee since we haven’t been there in a long while so the food was great at least imo la. but the chilli pedas gila but i think quite shiok ah. the soup if not spicy not nice or like still nice but not as nice if it’s not spicy. but i’m a noob so i put like hujung je the chilli hahahaha farhan put like half sia gila. we also had milk tea and green milk tea which was initially farhan’s but we swapped bc the milk tea was too sweet for me. then after that we went to nine fresh!!!! my top fav bbt shop currently bc of the rly interesting toppings u can put. i think next time i wanna buy 0% ah cus i feel like the 25% like quite sweet sia idk why or maybe it’s bc the toppings alr sweet so when it’s mixed it feels like there’s double the sweetness. then after that we went to this korea mart. shine korea i think but wtf i feel like the shine korea like....... idk sia they don’t have a lot of variety and they don’t sell loose packs like how i feel most korea mart actually sell loose packs of instant noodles. i still like the one at bedok maybe next time i’ll head there to buy the items i need and cook smth for farhan 😂 even tho it’s just instant noodles but i learned a recipe on how to enhance the noodles and make it taste professional looooool so i rly wanna try making that for us to eat next time. oh and i’m so happy that farhan enjoys my wrap!!!!! this would be a story for another day.

then after that decided to head back since there weren’t anymore korea marts around. i had to withdraw some money for my mom first so we did that then walked back to where he parked his bike. then upon reaching home we just rested up for a bit. watched some videos and all. and i just wanted to sleep idk why when i’m laying on his chest or like shoulder i feel sooo comfy i legit just wanna sleep. but as time kept ticking we decided to head outside to lepak since we’re not married yet perhaps he felt like it isn’t good or nice of him to stay in the house till late but idk i think my dad was kinda distracted with soccer to even care much today so i felt like we could have stayed longer if we wanted to and omg leh my stomach rly said hello go berak so many times to me today walao i think 3 times? but good la hais i’m so constipated sia my bowel movements damn irregular annoying sia and unhealthy hais. then when we were outside it started pouring!!!! at first not so heavy but it got heavier throughout and it felt so nice!! and i know farhan can’t do this often but he stayed till like 5am before he left and it just brings back that memories of when he would stay till late just to keep my company and spend more time with me.

sobsssss i miss him alr 😭😭😭😭😭😭

i forgot to wish him happy monthsary before he left and he just wished me now as i’m typing this i want to reply him so i’m just gonna end the post here okay hehe goodnight!!