#its a good thing i guess

[quibbs]

just had SO much fun with the fallout tv show... i love you missus okey dokey

[naes-dairy]

yk what since I decided to check my account again (after a measly week or so) I guess I'll vent here

Hey so. If you don't wanna hear a kid in their late teens rant about life n stuff then I suggest you leave. But it's not like anyone would really be reading this anyways.

So.. I guess I'll have to write down my collective of thoughts

1. Growing Up

I've been feeling terrible lately because of all that responsibility that's gonna get thrown on my shoulders. In afraid of messing up, of the worst case scenario. It's most likely not gonna happen, but I know deep down it terrifies me. Otherwise, I wouldn't cry about it. I'm already getting small teaching jobs just cause my parental figure wants me to start making money already.. not that I'm doing any good. It just sucks and I don't feel any good about it.

2. Outcast

Now then, the title for this section or whatever.. I couldn't find the right word for it. Basically, in struggling to find my community, a place where I feel like I belong. I have friends who care about me, I care about people that have literally never held s conversation with me before. It sucks, it feels like I'll never be able to have a deep bond with someone because I suck at talking to people or even just letting people get close to me. I do nothing and I hate myself for it.

3. No Motivation

Yes yes I know I probably have depression but I literally don't know who or how to talk about it. I've tried to get therapy in s rather roundabout way, but.. well, time flies and I don't really wanna put stuff about my family online. I feel like I'm just doing things because that's what I'm supposed to do, and there are less reasons for me to want to do anything other than "I need to make money" yk.

2. Spectrum

I didn't know what to call this either as neurodivegent is a broad term that covers more than just adhd or autism, so I think I might just cut this section short; I'm autistic and I'm already struggling in some ways, but I think I might have I diagnosed adhd too. This sucks as my parental figure also has adhd and although I have told her multiple times I want a diagnosis, nothings followed through. I'm also too tired to do anything and really forgetful when I focus on other things.

4. Love

I don't know how to talk about this, it runs deep. Basically, I'm sad that I've never fallen in love before, but honestly I'm not surprised. I've literally never been able to make friends on my own, what do I expect. I also think I want a lot of attention but obviously trying to be that girl would make me uncomfortable.

5. Low self esteem

This is probably the problem that's stemmed into everything else. I just feel like I suck or I could do better. Like if someone compliments me, sure it's nice but.. something's I feel like they're just doing it out of obligation, or they're just trying to be nice. Either that or I feel like I could've done better, so they're actually wrong. See what this brain is telling me? It's total bs but I still feel that way. What am I supposed to do if I know it's lies but it feels like the truth?

TL;DR I need help immediately. Fun. Ok, goodbye.

(p.s. I think I might have social anxiety but it's also probably my autism plus how awkward I am. I overthink wayyyy too much)

[bacchuschucklefuck]

truly this one's just for me. I can do what I want foreverrr

[lucabyte]

i feel like people are sleeping on the occam's razor situation of how buckwild it is to outright accuse a guy of being a clone of your friend even if you DO have a lot of circumstantial evidence. there's other options is what im saying. they could just be like. a guy. that's a sensible deduction. you should explore that deduction. ignore my shirt that reads I <3 RED HERRINGS.

i still think odile has the correct theory on lock but she's smart enough to know it needs like... a real smoking gun to be able to bring it up without sounding insane.

anyway. (mirabelle voice) i know its rude to speculate but has anyone else noticed the grieving? they seem to be grieving. does anyone have any thoughts on the grieving? i have some thoughts on the grieving.

[meamiiikiii]

silly comic based on a time i struggled to read live on stream :thumbsup:

context clip compilation below ASDASDFASA

(cw for brief mention of hospitals/strokes)

[sigsfigs]

let's dance

close up of them........... theyre soooo super cute to meeeee v_v)) i love you bisexuals of color............. i love them too much i think fabian deserves to be with a sweet passionate girl who loves him for who he is and not go through messy toxic situationships anymor e wuhhhhh

[hinamie]

for @cherryys who (rightfully!) hcs lategame megumi as having a bunch of scars befitting his status as resident punching bag

[finngualart]

daucus carota

[remxedmoon]

isat npc designs!!!!! wahoo!!!!!

greyscale versions below :3

i don’t really have much to say about the colors here?? all of these fellas are vaugardian (i think) so i just kept their palettes Warm. i did give claude stains on her coat because i think she drops Chemicals on it all the time and doesn’t wash it throughly enough to get the stains out. other than that all of these are pretty straightforward!!

[cowardlykrow]

yeah, and who do ya think knocked em out

[slightlyartist]

~ Strict Budget ~

Prequel to this.

[malacandrax]

lrt wrt carrying tiny things around -tbh this is relevant to what I do when im overthinking/spiralling on a walk, I don't have a tiny baby on hand but I *imagine* theres a tiny baby resting gently in the cup of my hand and its like ok sleepy energy gotta be chill and calm theyre sleeping shh

[sunlit-mess]

I envy your art style 😭

Ok, take this. You're welcome

For those who want inspiration from my art style. ::")

No, this is not a tutorial but some key points from my style you can try and practice to explore yours!

PS. I am not a professional artist, nor an art expert. I still have A LOT to practice/improve, especially since I just got back to drawing. One could say my skills are just average!

[zephyrartz-owo]

Mental Health Tip! Don't skip meals lest you be fighting demons

[deoidesign]

For my birthday... read my webcomic! It's literally free! (Unless you want books. Those are not free)

It's beautiful, it's gentle, it's funny, they're canonically t4t and gay... And it's about time traveling vampires solving supernatural mysteries!

I've spent thousands of hours writing and drawing it, and it's really good! I'm not biased!

It's on hiatus right now and coming back in 2 months, so it's the perfect time to get caught up

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

imagining Charlie having an Oh moment when she finds Vaggie napping in a chair one day, early on, with Razzle and Dazzle sprawled out over Vaggie like they're trying to cover as much of her small body as they can with their own even smaller ones-

Charlie pulls out her phone and stealthily inches closer for a picture (she's doesn't' wanna wake them she swears) (she's just never seen something so cuuuuute-)

but a floor board squeaks and Razzle cracks an eye open to glower while Dazzle shushes her

and Charlie stops

There's another Oh... moment, because they've never shushed her before. They were brought to life to keep her safe and they've always only cared about that one thing- it took months for them to stop following Vaggie around the house suspiciously, like they always did with anyone Charlie tried having a relationship with, like a pair of silent, plush guard dogs-

(glaring at Vaggie from shadows, from across the table at breakfast and dinner, from the pillows directly over her head when Charlie finally convinced her maybe sharing a bed would help with the night terrors)

-but that'd all changed, at some point. Only, Charlie hadn't noticed until now

now she does. Now suddenly, she wonders

Charlie creeping over on silent, careful hooves, to gently stroke between the tiny wings of her childhood friends, looking from them to Vaggie's relaxed and sleeping face (getting a little lost watching her, for moment) (reaching out to tuck back a strand of the hair Vaggie is growing out long, accidently stroking Vaggie's cheek, forgetting to take her hand away afterwards) (the longer hair is hard not to play with, she excuses)

Charlie leaning in and asking Razzle and Dazzle, in the softest whisper-

"....are you keeping her safe for me?"

a pair of soft little churrs rising up in answer. Two little plush demons, snuggling closer to Vaggie as Vaggie frowns in her sleep, shifting restlessly, stirring-

Charlie freezing bc she has NO idea what to say if Vaggie wakes up and finds her- well. looming kinda?? while Vaggie SLEEPS???

it feels different than just already being there when Vaggie wakes up in the night, different in how waking up like that was normal when they'd gone to bed together, but crouching down to STARE at someone like this, with your hand still on her cheek, scared to move it in case that REALLY wakes her up when she DIDN'T get much sleep last night and DIDN'T wake you up that time for some reason so you couldn't snuggle her or make her feel better and now you might startle her instead or make her feel awkward which you hate- you don't want her to ever feel awkward around you-

it doesn't matter though

because Vaggie settles down again, as Dazzle croons quietly and Razzle reaches out a little paw to gently press her arm

she used to jump and flinch a little every time she saw them

when did that change?

these days she flicks little snacks at them from off her plate, no matter how many times Charlie reminds her they have their OWN plates and their OWN donuts and are just begging to get ATTENTION, the little show-stealers-

(not like Charlie's doing that too by complaining) (noooooo) (not like she grins like an idiot when Vaggie smiles and says cute things deserve a little extra attention, while looking over at Charlie instead)

these days any annoying demon who comes looking to curry favor with Lucifer (or trying pulling one over Morningstar's "naïve" daughter) gets pinned by THREE dangerous glares while waiting at the door for Charlie to hurry downstairs and meet them

(or rather shoo them away before they say something too not nice and Vaggie grabs her spear while Razzle and Dazzle get within ankle biting range)

when she thinks about it, things have been different for a while now

better. They've been better, and Charlie still doesn't know when or how it happened, and maybe that part doesn't matter so much anyway

in the present, Charlie takes the chance to retrieve her hand (reluctantly..) so she can slip off her jacket and tuck it around the three of them- Razzle, Dazzle. Vaggie- her two old friends and one new but very important one-

important enough to be considered part of her, by them as were created to protect her

and that's a new idea too. but she likes it a lot, she thinks

she likes being part of a family again

-

Vaggie wakes up a good solid two hours of nap time later with Razzle and Dazzle draped over her like furry boas and Charlie's head in her lap, a former Exorcist absolutely COVERED in cuddly demons-

she stays completely still for another hour more afterwards, stiff neck be damned, watching the three of them sleep. Smiling.

.... (it's only the three of them, later)

(when vaggie flutters up and finds razzle curled up on dazzle's memorial, the night after the battle. when she tucks him into her shoulder and heads back to her and charlie's rebuilt room. as a relieved and teary eyed charlie scoops him up and the three up them huddle together under vaggie's reformed wings)

(it's only three of them... but part of why charlie cries that night is knowing dazzle did his job- vaggie is still here)

(dazzle did his best. and for everything charlie lost, the old hotel, too many of the cannibals who followed her, almost all the egg bois, sir pentious, dazzle himself, the faith that she could solve all this without anyone getting hurt...)

(she didn't lose the part of herself that'd held her together the night before the battle, held so many other times, through family calls and failed meetings with heaven) (she didn't lose vaggie-)

(and some of charlie's tears that night, for dazzle, are grateful)

(he died trying to keep charlie safe. and he did. he did)