#its a harry potter fic amen

[hellonearthtoday]

ive had good taste my entire life. I have literally always been the same. Im rereading a fanfic I read when I was Honest to God 9 years old (thats EIGHT YEARS AGO) and it still holds up and its also completely gen/no romance which i think sets the tone for the rest of my formative years

[hephaestiions]

author reclist: toomuchplor

a few months ago, when i was coming back to fandom in earnest, i came across this post from @sitp-recs. explorations of faith, divinity and worship are some of the tropes i find most furiously compelling, so i had to jump into o come, all ye faithful as soon as possible. i did, only to fall headfirst in obsessive, wide-eyed, awe-inspired love. @toomuchplor writes a desire that's both slow and heady, relentless and gentle, all-consuming and a rest stop to breathe easy. i couldn't help but read through (most of) their catalogue in a matter of days. this author's thematic range is astonishing, their characterisations lead to delicious stories where two headstrong, wilful and perennially longing men crash, fumble and rush into achingly sweet love and burning lust.

what always spools me in with plor, though, is their use of circumstance, especially in longer fics. every fic has a premise iron-clad in its fascinating, inventive, raw and exciting potential. more often than not, i've found them doing something i haven't encountered before in fandom at all, or reworking a popular trope in ways that make you go, 'oh. oh, i never thought about that happening, how did i never think of that happening?'

i've loved everything i've read from them, but here's a selection of some of my absolute favourites that i'll be going back to, over and over:

i've got a beautiful feeling (everything's going my way) (E, 3.5k)

“I’ve got such a boner,” Harry says, voice scratchy, just slitting his eyes open now, turning his head on his pillow to face Draco. “Oh, lovely, good morning to you, too,” Draco says.

a slice of life like the plush inside of a ripe mango— a love that's mature, constant, beating like a strong heart. the filthy, hilarious, gorgeous portrait of harry and draco's married life— the familiarity of sex, the rush of wanting each other as much as ever.

o come, all ye faithful & all the angels cry amen (E, ~22k total)

In which Draco finds faith in the church, and Harry finds faith in Draco.

an achingly tender rumination on faith as love, and love as worship. one of the most heartbreaking and realistic depictions of the reckoning it would take for harry potter to accept he has found refuge and rest in draco malfoy's arms. i loved the non-chronological, dual timeline storytelling— that particular form works so well when there's a taut, twinging thread holding both narratives together, and harry and draco's gravitational attraction to each other, fraught in parts and at peace in others was the perfect anchor.

time and too much don't belong together (E, 23k)

A Malfoy family heirloom gets triggered in a raid, binding Draco Malfoy to Ron Weasley; neither of them is too chuffed about this.

a masterclass in revelations. the reader can tell, from the outset, there's more here than meets the eye. the reader can also guess, from the beginning, what the dynamic in the shadows is. tense and breathtaking writing, you know what's coming, but every time you're fed a morsel you cling to it with both hands. one of the most inventive takes i've seen on the lust potion/spell trope in this fandom, and done in a way that makes you want to see it over and over and over again.

polar night/midnight sun (E, 54k)

Harry travels to arctic Norway on the trail of dragon egg poachers, only to find he's been assigned to work alongside the only NorMagPol Auror north of sixty: one Draco Malfoy. It's been ten years since they crossed paths, and Malfoy isn't exactly what Harry expected or remembered. For one thing, he wears a lot more hand-knits? When a sudden winter storm strands the pair, unable to use magic to rescue themselves, they take shelter in a one-room Norwegian hytte.

exquisitely atmospheric. uses extenuating circumstances in some of the most delicious ways. builds character and interpersonal dynamics through those small little elements of storytelling (draco in knitwear! brynjar the dog! the mundane pillowtalk! the quirks of their miscommunication!) that go the longest way in having characters leap off the screen into your personal space. also the sex in this is absolutely mind-blowing, i was hooked on every glorious word.

truth to materials (co-written by lately) (E, 58k)

In which Harry learns to appreciate art and other pleasures of the flesh.

decadent. in premise, in language, in characterisation, just absolutely decadent. this version of harry, bewildered and captivated by draco's out-there artistry is one of the funniest and most endearing i've encountered in fic, ever. his head, so full of determination and good intentions and terribly flawed and completely believable thinking, was such a brilliant place to set this fic. and draco— lord. you know that moment of transition, that click, when a piece of art goes from something untouchable and distant to a soulful thing you keep close because you recognise it as a cultural, emotional response? this fic felt like a literary project trying to capture that click, except it's a shift in perspective about a person. draco— the cool, untouchable, subversive artist who becomes irrevocably, warmly, achingly human.

probationary action (E, 63k)

As part of the terms of the probationary contract, DRACO LUCIUS MALFOY shall submit for inspection his WAND on the last day of every month, such inspection to be carried out by a duly registered and fully qualified AUROR in the employ of the MINISTRY OF MAGIC, and such inspection to include a PRIORI INCANTATEM spell to ensure that no PROHIBITED MAGICS as heretofore described have been practised by the aforementioned probationer.

*incoherent screaming*. a fic that starts with a premise so lighthearted and filthy that you think it's going to be a long, kinky fic about two rather hilariously perverted men getting it on, except it also gets into some of the most resonant discussions of post-war revenge tactics and human rights neglect i've ever read. the dynamic between harry and draco is simultaneously so light and so weighted, this is a fic that holds you down and keeps you there till you're done.

in conclusion: an entrancing author, a gift of a writer. i can't wait to see what else they have in store for this fandom.

[the-houseryn]

Review of my 2023 Writing

I don’t typically post about my fanfics, just reblogging posts made about them by fest mods and the spare reccer but I’ve decided I’d like to change that a bit. So my first attempt is going to be this summary of what I’ve done this year.

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Stats

Word Count Posted: 144,496

Fic Count Posted: 7

Art Posted: 1 (First time)

Updated Series: 2

Fandoms/Ships: HP: 4 Dron, 2 Drarry, 1 Dron Friendship

Fests: @harrydracompreg, @unleashed-fest, @hp-soulmates, @hprarepairfest, and @pumpkinspiceficfest

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Fics Posted

take me home, you're my, my, my, my... (Drarry, 157.4k, E)

Potter – I have found myself in a position in which I am desperate for assistance. I know I have no right to reach out to you for help, but I know of no other option. Could you be amenable to meet up with me someplace private, can be of your choosing, to discuss this matter? Please. Draco Malfoy A Malfoy mystery. His favorite kind.

I’ve been writing this one since Nov 2021 and I unfortunately was only able to update one chapter on it all year long. I yearn for my muse for this fic to return to me so I can finish this bad boy off.

in a party bathroom (Drarry, 16.4k, M, HD Mpreg fest)

He hadn't even wanted to go to the ridiculous party, let alone planned on shagging Potter in a port-a-john while he was there. But he did, and oh, what fun the consequences it brought were...

This one has found itself on a few rec lists this year and I’m very pleased about that. Thank you to everyone who has enjoyed it and promoted it💖

boy, you might have me believing i don't always have to be alone (Dron Friendship, 102.1k, M)

Eighth year was not nearly as painful as he expected it to be. Honestly, Ron would be on cloud nine if only Harry would let them help him. But Harry kept insisting he was fine; his denial was so strong he didn't even see how bloody weird it was that he didn't care that Malfoy was acting weird. It only made sense then to Ron that with Harry not up for the task, it was on Ron's shoulders to watch and take care of the prat.

Started this in Nov 2022 and this year I did Chapters 9-18. This baby lives in my head allll the bloody time, if only that could then translate onto the keyboard with as much ease, then I could have it done already. This one isn’t all that popular, but I’ve got a small gathering of devotees, and that makes it so freaking special 🥰

unless you're choosing me (Dron, 31.4k, M, Soulmate Fest)

A soulmate was a choice. It was two people deciding to spend the rest of their lives together, weathering any storm. That was a fact that Ron would hold as truth for the rest of his life. Even when the Unspeakables found a spell in some ancient text that tied soulmates together with a red cord and showed them a moment of their "true love". It was a hoax, he was sure of it. But no one else agreed, willing to upend their lives just because a stupid spell said so. Ron wouldn't have minded so much if it hadn't wrecked his.

OMG, this fic. I was just freaking perusing the Soulmate Fest prompt list out of curiosity only, NO intention of participating since the due date was like in under two weeks. But then I saw this one prompt (Thank you Dr.P’s hubby) and I was struck dumb with an idea, then wrote the first 11.4k in 24hrs, breaking my record by an extra 2.5k. Honestly so fucking baffled by myself when 3k on a normal day is a stretch.

misty morning comes again (Dron, 4.4k, M, Unleashed Fest)

Every morning without snow on the ground or rain that turned the land into a slip and slide of mud and wet grass, Ron ran the property with his misfit herd of barnyard animals close behind him. The thrilling tease of watching Ron's solid, sweat-glistening body do its lap around the misty morning pond was just about the only thing that could get Draco willingly out of bed so soon after the summer sun rose. Barn chores and animal butts certainly weren't going to do it.

Hands Down My Favorite thing I’ve written this year. I give it a quick reread all the time. I normally don’t care too much about my stats. But I love this fic so bloody much that it bothers me a weeee bit that it’s my lowest hit fic. Only really cuz I get so much joy from it that I just wanna share that joy with others but it seems to have passed under people’s radar.

all of this silence and patience (Dron, 9.9k, M, Pumpkin Spice Fest)

Thanks to the lack of a natural baby boom after the war, The Post-War Reunification and Family Reformation Act of 2003 passed, damning Draco to a long, miserable life with Ronald Bloody Weasley. With nothing left to lose, they might as well try Luna's suggestion, even if the idea of snuggling Weasley sounded like a unique method of torture. Pumpkin Spice Fest Prompt: Morning Fog, Snuggles, and Marriage Law

This was the first fest I’ve ever done with a max word count and I honestly thought 10k was plenty for my idea with this prompt… I ended up having to cut three sections and hunt down every possible contraction I could create to make it three words shy of the max 😶

your seat, it's the best seat (Dron, 17.4k, E, Rare Pair Fest)

In the moment, it hadn’t occurred to him that taunting Draco into sitting on his lap once would open the door for Draco to keep doing so, even when other chairs existed. Nor had he known that the consequence of becoming Draco's furniture was how hard he'd fall in love with someone who didn't fancy him back.

I almost pitched this fic so many times. It was a fucking brawl to finish it. Thank you, Amia, for reading it over tho and hyping it up. I’m way more proud of it than I was then and I appreciate you convincing me to persevere 💖

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Art Posted

[ART] how the hell... (Drarry, G, Unleashed Fest)

Prompt: Harry has no idea how a white highland cow got inside 12 Grimmauld Place, nor why it seems to have a strange affinity for the fancy French chocolates one of his admirers keeps sending him...

Never have I thought I’d participate in a fest with my art, but here we are. I’m honestly quite proud of it…. As long as I don’t think about my struggles with perspective… but hey, my little dumb details like the scrub brushes in the sink and the post-it notes are my favorite things I’ve done. Also??? I’ve never drawn an animal before so I’m proud of that too tbh

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Overall Notes For The Year ✨

I cannot believe how many fests I participated in this year and how many I was so sad to not be able to do like Kinktober and Deflower December. But I’m so so thankful that I participated in the ones I did because it led me to fest servers where I really got a chance to alpha and beta for other writers. Not only did I get to talk to awesome people and make a friend, but these wonderful writers undid so much damage from some bad shit that happened to me in high school English classes. I have been denying myself becoming a professional editor despite my love of it for a decade but between my therapist’s support and these writers insisting I had talents as an editor, even requesting my little write-up about beefing up your writing in 2nd edits, I’m now ready to face those fears. It’s gonna be tough but I’m also so excited in a way I’ve never felt about life outside of writing fanfiction.

(Also, what the fuck is up with me having my word counts end in .4? I managed that in 5 out of 7 fics as well as my overall for the year??? Odd AF)

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2024 Goals

Right now, I have plans for participating in Knot, Dronarry, HD Mpreg, and Love of a Weasley fest with dreams of participating in SEVERAL others. I also HOPE with every fiber of my being that I finish ‘take me home...’ and part one of ‘boy, you might have me...’ in 2024. Got my fingers to fucking crossed for that 🤞🤞🤞

✨May we all have a year full of the planets called Free Time, Great Ideas, and Energy (and Skill for those like me who have skill loss when overwhelmed with life) being aligned so we can create all those wonderful fics floating in the universe, begging to be shared.✨

[snack-o-ween]

Current Draft Title: Scattered Pieces

In Progress Since: June 2022

The first part is definitely titled 'Scattered Pieces' and has its own proposed tags. The second part is more of a vague idea than its own draft right now.

Currently Proposed Tags (Scattered Pieces): AU – Canon Divergence, Sirius Black Goes To Azkaban, Werewolf Severus Snape, Sirius Black Is Released From Azkaban, Sirius Black Does Not Join The Order Of The Phoenix, Severus Snape Does Not Join The Death Eaters, Background James Potter/Lily Evans, Sirius Black Is Crashing And Burning, Unhealthy Trauma Responses, Alcohol Abuse and/or Alcoholism, Homelessness, Strained Marauder Friendships, Non-Consensual Veritaserum Dosing, Endgame Sobriety.

Rough Outline

Azkaban is not solely for life sentences in this AU, so Sirius is only sent there for a short amount of time after the Whomping Willow Incident. Severus now being a werewolf is more of a background element in this part, and he barely interacts with Sirius. The focus is more on Sirius hitting rock bottom and slowly starting to rebuild. He eventually takes a job as one of the waitstaff at a place in Knockturn Alley.

(Workers have a degree of anonymity because shifts will rotate on everyone being a wizard or everyone being a witch with Anti-Tracking measures and stuff. I originally put this in the notes for another fic for a "trans people can be hired here a bit easier" background detail, I think. In this fic, Sirius is cis but comfortable with having a different 'work gender' if he takes one of the all-witch shifts.)

Because of that element, James and Lily figure that Sirius will be the most amenable to being designated as Harry's godmother while Severus is his godfather; incorporating a bit of 'certain old-timey rituals presume a heterosexual couple' aspect, so it's an established thing to work around. It's largely supposed to be symbolic because this part is planned to end just prior to Lily and James dying.

Currently Proposed Tags (The Next Part): AU – Canon Divergence, Sirius Black Does Not Go After Peter Pettigrew, Werewolf Severus Snape, Sirius Black Raises Harry Potter, Severus Snape Raises Harry Potter.

My notes start out with platonic co-parenting and reluctantly being there for each other during the immediate aftermath of their friends dying, but I'm not sure if I want to skip forward throughout Harry's childhood or show a level of commitment and entanglement that's more queerplatonic. I'm thinking of Severus teaching Potions at a werewolf school, and Harry getting the option to go there instead of Hogwarts. Other details are very much up in the air.

[majesticnerdyvee]

Harry Potter and the Adventures of Sherlock Holmes

I started this fic back in February 2020 when I got sick. I had read 2 potterlock fics at that point and was sad that there wasn’t more, so I decided I had to take matter in my own hands and get down to it! It was inspired by a screenshot of a tumblr post I can’t find since then where the Golden Trio came to Sherlock and John for help finding the horcruxes.

I have published 15 chapters but since I took on writing another large fic, I neglected this one. I wasn’t happy in November 2020 with how I neglected it, so I decided to take a break and reevaluate where I wanted it to go and how I want it to look like. 

So in March I posted the 15th chapter and explained the hiatus. I had originally thought that I’d be able to review and amend the chapters a lot faster, but that didn’t happen. So I have been finding time to do it since then, and it is finally going in the direction I am happy with. 

The schedule for posting reviewed, polished chapters plus new content that I am excited about is now the 20th of October 2021. I have a new structure to implement where the chapters are much longer (almost small novellas on their own) which I think will be better. 

So that gives us roughly ~40 chapters that are definite compared to the 15/? question mark chapter count that there is right now. 

My friend Dee made a moodboard for each chapter to capture the *mood*, which I am very thnankful for and my brother made a poster for the fic which I am super excited to eventually show you all. 

All there is left to do is look for a beta to britpick my Hogwarts shenanigans because I am not a native speaker of English, and maybe give me feedback on the plot. If you are curious or amenable to give it a shot, please message me? I’ll be forever grateful for your work and input, I just want this fic to be as polished as possible this time around so it can (hopefully) reach its full potential. 

That said, I will reblog this post with minor updates on the fic and its progress.

Thank you for reading~

[shinnystars]

Fic rec days - Severus Snape x Sirius Black

The Mistletoe Incidents by EliasFinn T 16K 

Mistletoes were a tradition in Hogwarts and Sirius, usually, loved them. But then everything got out of hand and - uuurgh - he'd never really wanted to see that, thank you so very much.

Found in the Moments Between the Search by r_grayjoy E 26K

When Sirius returns from beyond the Veil with knowledge of Voldemort's Horcruxes, he takes on the task of finding and destroying them. Somewhere along the way he finds an unexpected ally and perhaps something more.

Epistula Ultima by FabulaRasa M 15K

Snape faces death, but before he does, he has one last letter to write.

Slowly, But Exceeding Fine by ellen_fremedon E 28K

How to kill a dementor, live under a curse, and let go of an old grudge.

An Occlument Heart by BeautifulYes M 15K

Snape knows that, usually, keeping a secret is the bravest thing you can do. But sometimes the bravest thing is to tell one.

Shade More Than Man by Acamar E 46K

Set six years after the Goblet of Fire, and almost a year after Voldemort has been defeated. How has the wizarding society changed as the aftermath of the war? Why are Sirius Black and Severus Snape sleeping in one, four poster bed?

Sorry by IIBNF E 6K

Sirius Black decides to make amends for the horrid way he treated Snape when they were teenages. Snape is less than amenable to the idea. (Written around the time of book three/four).

Confronting A Nightmare by earthphoenix M 3K

Is it still considered a nightmare when you enjoy it? Well, whatever they are, dreams or nightmares, Sirius finds himself quite disturbed each time he closes his eyes to sleep. He attempts to walk it off, only to run into the person that has been the focus of his dreams.

Rubber Ducks by earthphoenix E 10K

Dumbledore has had it with the fighting between Sirius Black and Severus Snape. It is time that they come to terms, make amends ... and there is only one way to do it. Make them work together for a common goal. But what could the two possible have in common? Well, it's more than just being magically handcuffed together.

Hell Sweet Hell by Sionna_Raven E 4K

The place behind the Veil may be heaven or hell, maybe neither. All Sirius longs for is company and his wish is granted, when a wounded Severus Snape lands on his doorstep during the final battle.

Better Call It Home by Ailei E 2K

How dare he still be so beautiful? The loathing in Snape's cultured voice forced Sirius into an even smaller ball, pressed him further back into the shadows.

Two Boys Kissing by Writcraft M 6K

Sirius goes to a gay bar and meets the last person he expects. Under cloudy skies, two boys kiss and that one moment comes to define generations of want, need and hope.

An Unlikely Seduction by neevebrody E 4K

"Well, well, Black…aren't frightened of a little déjà vu are we?"  He smacked Sirius' hand away.  "If you had any brains beneath all that mangy hair, you'd know that every touch is agony, spell my clothes away."

Out by cynthia_arrow T 3K

It wasn't possible Severus Snape was actually worth pursuing, was it? And it certainly wasn't possible he actually wanted to be pursued?

In Cruciatu Veritas by Kleio E 14K

Sirius is about to discover that, contrary to the proverb in vino veritas, the truth lies not in wine but in pain. Takes place during the Order of the Phoenix.

Day One series by Kleio M 37K (READ THE TAGS)

"Snape has brought me back from the dead and is holding me prisoner in his house. Sounds mad, I know, but that’s Snape for you. Please hurry, I’m afraid for my life. Or rather, my death. Not to mention my bottom. Just hurry. - Sirius Black"

Shadows Of Light by lindsey_grissom E 47K

Sometimes that which we look for is in the strangest of places, and those that we know are not how they seem. With the war between the Light and Dark drawing near, anything is possible.

Strange Bedfellows by earthphoenix E 21K

Most of this takes place during a small window in time when both Severus Snape and Sirius Black would have been in Azkaban prison together. Can a new friendship survive such a place as Azkaban prison? Can it evolve into something more ... if given the chance?

The Devil-and-All to Pay by Leela E 6K

Albus Dumbledore is mad. Severus is sure of it, when the old man sends him to persuade Sirius Black to come back to England and let the Order use his family home as headquarters. The problem, as always, is that Severus cannot say no.

Potion Master’s Pet by blackbludger E 6K

After the defeat of Voldemort, Sirius Black is forced to move into Snape’s abandoned quarters.

Plus c’est la Meme Chose by Scaranda M 8K

Sirius and Severus find themselves cloistered together for ten days with only the hapless Lupin as referee. Not all of them stay the course.

Not Quite Good Enough to Be Going On With by white_serpent E 5K

Two men, a truth potion, and a locked room. Chaos ensued.

Love Potion HP by Tavalya_Ra T 46K

Severus Snape and Sirius Black have always shared a strong mutual hatred, but never before have they been obsessed with each other. Whether it's love or lust, they're both disgusted by it. Someone's playing cupid, but is it fate, Dumbledore, or Voldemort? 

Harry Potter and the Ten Years of All Hallow’s Eve by TheRogueHuntress T 7K

What if Lily and Snape reconciled before she died? What if both Sirius and Severus were Harry's Godfathers? And what if both were chosen to look after baby Harry once his parents had been murdered?Life As We Know It Harry Potter style, retold over 10 Halloweens, starting with 31st October 1981.

Think of him as a therapy dog by SabineMichaelis T 10K

(WIP BUT its not a cliffhanger trust me) Sirius is out of Azkaban and in hiding, but has no place to live until Grimmauld place is made habitable. Dumbledore notices that Severus lives alone and has plenty of space for a dog, even if he really doesn't want one.

[metamehta]

One-Shot Review: lips long parching by Annerb

Summary: Going solo to her ex's wedding is not exactly Ginny's idea of a good time, but thanks to a smuggled flask and a rather sullen Harry Potter, it's about to get a lot more interesting

Humor/Romance -  Harry P., Ginny W.  - Words: 10,578, Rated T

Read it on ff.net

Review: I write this review from the point of view of an Annerb fan, who, sadly, has only read handful of her fics. lips long parching, her newest one-shot, may not be as memorable as her other works, but it is still a solid feel-good romance.

I loathe most romances for their predictability, but I wasn’t too put off by it in this story, since the fast pace of the story lets you ingest the story without forcing you to do any guess work.

Due to the nature of the story (drunk HarryxGinny), there’s two primary things that Harry and Ginny do in the story – obviously, they drink and talk. Rather than be bored by the banter, I found myself interested in seeing how the dialogue unveiled the story’s slight divergences from canon.

Annerb’s Harry and Ginny have always been personable, and this story is no exception. However, my biggest complaint about this story is how it feels like a meet-cute story that could have changed its two leads and would have read as almost the same story. Of course, this Harry and Ginny don’t seem to hold a candle to other iterations of Harry/Ginny that Annerb has done in the past (think The Changeling) but the tropes in this story just doesn’t make the cast amenable to that.

Rating: 3.5 / 5

[mild-lunacy]

The Way Things Have to End

I'm a person who's often deeply torn about fanfic in a way I'm not about other stories, and I can't even defend it. Usually when people have strong feelings, they try to justify them, but I don't feel I have an excuse. Even so... honestly, the very existence of a fic where Ronan and Adam break up for fifteen (15) years and Adam gets married (to a woman), and they only get back together 'cause the wife dies and/or is dying.... How do I put this. It's a wrongness in the universe. It's not wrong like murder is wrong, or like people I disagree with may claim writing about 'bad things' is wrong, or like how bad grammar is wrong. I can try to say it is about characterization-- and it is that, because there's no way canon Adam and Ronan would end up like this-- but that's not why it strikes me as so wrong.

The fact is, this conviction of the wrongness of this scenario coexists with my firm conviction that self-expression is hugely important, and fiction needs no boundaries. If someone wants to do something new for its own sake (and that long of a separation is definitely new in Pynch fics), then that's a valid motivation. It's great to experiment and flex one's writerly muscles and come up with unnecessary drama because said drama allows you-the-writer to write about the things that seem interesting or important. Why not? What is fanfic for if not stretching said muscles and seeing whether one can write a long story with all the fixings? I remember how important finishing my first long novella via fanfic was for me. It felt momentous. And of course, I tried to make it as canon-friendly as possible, but then again Harry Potter was in love (and lust) with Draco Malfoy in it, so I can't throw stones even if I wanted to. Which I don't.

That said, I *have* found that people who say they're 'exploring' things (particularly new things) via the medium of fanfiction end up writing things that jangle and jolt my fannish and/or shippy sensibilities. Ultimately, the thing is, that sort of ambition is suited much, much more to original work than fanfic. I read fic to meet with old friends and feel good. Even angst feels good when the pleasure of character recognition exists. That ability to think 'here I am with Adam Parrish, my dear boy'-- that's what fanfic is for. And sometimes I like to worry about my boy, because bad things happen, but there's different kinds of worry. I don't want to worry that I no longer recognize him, that he's become something other than the boy I care about while I wasn't looking.

There's different caveats there, of course. I remember an AU Adam who grew up without Ronan or Gansey, who became a rather cold, manipulative criminal sort. Mr. Grey and Adam always had more than a bit in common. It's not even unlikely, given Adam didn't know them growing up. It'll be different once that changes; it's OK because Adam *will* change. While I don't want that for Adam, I'm not as dismayed by the idea as the notion that he had Ronan and threw him away-- and for fifteen years. That's pretty permanent. That's a life lived without the other person already. That's proof Adam doesn't need Ronan, more or less, and vice versa, even as a good friend. Like I said, it's wrong. It destroys what was so beautiful about them, about all of the Raven Boys. The way they were all so deeply connected, so intertwined. Even if Ronan and Adam get back together after that, it doesn't matter. This means what tied them wasn't as deep as the books suggested, so it makes the whole thing rather pointless and sad. They're just another couple. My point here is that it's the *constancy* of the relationships that are important with fanfic rather than any exploration of the new and unusual.

A lot of people seem to write fic just to use material they love, and play in the sandbox they enjoy, rather than as an *homage*. And it doesn't need to be, certainly. There are no rules. My point is just that-- for example, imagine a Peter Pan story where Peter decided to grow up, to become a banker in London, married to a woman who's not Wendy. OK, let's imagine Wendy and Peter may still secretly pine for one another, but Peter is married and his wife is dying, and Wendy herself isn't a young woman anymore. She can barely believe she once thought she flew to a make-believe magical island where no one ever had to grow old, or stop having adventures. She doesn't think she'd enjoy it the same way anymore, anyway. After all, she's thirty-something now and has gotten used to running water and coffee down the street. Thinking of Peter makes her a bit weepy, still, but she tells herself it's better this way, and most of the time she even believes it. So of course, it's quite a shock when Peter waltzes back into her life, over thirty and as handsome, urbane and charming a finance guy as you could imagine.

Now, maybe this story could have a happy ending (say, Peter and Wendy end up adopting a dog, and actually have very good sex sometimes, and sometimes they take a vacation to the Bahamas, which isn't Neverland but at least it has running water and coffee). But surely that happy ending wouldn't matter. More importantly than anyone's happiness, Peter Pan would have been thoroughly destroyed by this. In fact, the old, real Peter Pan wouldn't piss on this man if he were on fire, so to speak. No 'happy ending' is actually possible at that point, no matter how happy anyone is eventually, because it doesn't *matter* anymore.

As a matter of self-expression and experimentation (say, as a parody or a commentary on our lost childhood or the excesses of capitalism or what have you), one could see why a person would actually write this story. On an individual basis, there's no need to justify it. However, as a story-- as another story in the world of stories, existing in the ether of dreams and nightmares rather than stuck as a product of a particular person, time and place-- this would be an abomination. Not because it depicts any nasty or unfortunate acts, but because it's the antithesis of its original truth and beauty. No fan of Peter Pan who really cares about the character and his world could enjoy or appreciate a future where everything is in ruins. In this sense, Barrie's original bittersweet ending-- where neither Peter nor Wendy ended up happy, per se-- suddenly seems like the height of satisfaction and good sense. The characters remained themselves. They weren't happy in the tritest possible sense, true, but that doesn't matter, because they were themselves. Nothing was lost, and an adventure was had. A story was told and then finished, nothing and no one harmed, with only character growth as a result.

It's not the *sadness* of Adam and Ronan's long estrangement that bothers me in the break-up fics. Similarly, I don't consider it a 'fix' to know they end up together again in the end. Happiness isn't the point. Happiness isn't the *goal*, not even of love stories. It's not about happiness: it's about being, *becoming*, your best self. It's about how love becomes a part of you. It's about how another person is *necessary*, even if you don't need them on a basic level. This isn't something you can lose or give away. To deny it is to deny that love even existed.

I realize that it's just that other people don't see it that way, obviously. Generally, the point here is that in 'real life', all sorts of unfortunate and sordid things happen, even if they shouldn't. We lose things we never should've lost. We end up places we never expected, for reasons that just kind of... made sense at the time. No more and no less.

I get that this kind of 'realism' is why some people feel motivated to write fiction, but I'm talking about writing fanfic for a genre work that is much more abstract, much more idealistic and much more of a Romance (in the sense that Peter Pan or The Raven Cycle are Romances, nothing to do with the genre). In the case of such romantic, literary works, you have heightened realism at best and idealistic romanticism as an average. To translate such characters to some kind of sordid realism requires a deft hand and an understanding of just what counts as central underpinnings of the original text, not to be messed with.

In some ways, you could even argue the Harry Potter books are more amenable to gritty realism than The Raven Cycle, because JK Rowling is always trying to reference and comment on social issues (just indirectly). So I dunno, it's not a stretch if Harry's actually seriously abused as a child and never gets to Hogwarts at eleven, or Remus actually had AIDS, and Sirius has all sorts of things that happen in and after a stay in prison. Harry's a heroic character-- he's smart, brave, and true-- but you can do all sorts of things to heroes and still have them end up heroic. Harry was pretty messed up in the actual books, too. Love stories aren't quite so resilient, or resilient in the face of the same things (abuse, abandonment, or even being focused on something else entirely and having no extra time or effort to spare). There's a reason Harry only got together with Ginny (and Ronan got together with Adam) at the end. It's OK when you're friends/lovers who're going through tough times that require plenty of patience and forgiveness-- like Remus and Sirius, for example-- but it's not OK if your tough times are your own fault, and they happen after you're supposed to have figured it all out. At that point, it's not the same story anymore, essentially.

I honestly think that stories have their own flavor of 'reality', and don't benefit from the introduction of any improved airs of 'realism' if it's not native. Note, this is separate from something like a non-magic AU. I mean 'realism' as in the philosophy that just about anything can happen, just because. Why not? Well, it's fiction. There's actually plenty of reasons why things had to happen just how they did and that's it. Fiction isn't random, and good endings (happy or otherwise) are the most rational and inevitable things of all. In a good story, things end up how they're supposed to be, on a very, very deep level. Ignoring all that to say 'well, it could all go poof tomorrow!' seems to ignore the underlying nature of stories entirely. That's the sense that I mean when I say this is 'wrong'. It is definitely very wrong to argue with the way stories *want* to be, the way they are meant to be.

As a writer, if I know anything, it's that.