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#its a lot and it did happen very suddenly
k-germsworld · 1 day
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Blackmailing the model
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Sowon x M!Reader
2.4k words
Sowon is a little-known model. Although she doesn't have many events, she earns a lot from the ones she does. She also has a beautiful face and a curvy figure. It is not an exaggeration to describe her as having an angel's face and a devil's figure. This also makes her a little-known model. 
One day, Sowon participated in a photo shoot for an endorsement. Everything went smoothly until the end. After thanking the staff, she went backstage to change her clothes. She picked up her change of clothes and went to the dressing room, only to find that all the other dressing rooms were locked. Sowon reluctantly went to use that dressing room. But she didn't know that there was a hidden camera in the only dressing room she could use, and her entire changing process was recorded. 
"What the fuck... her body is too hot. “What if.... I can make her be mine ?” He smirked and watched Sowon changing clothes and had a bad thought about her. The next day, Sowon received an email. She thought it was a job offer and opened it. Only then did she realize that the email was actually a video of her changing clothes. She was very panicked, and she saw a message below the video: "If you don't want this video to be leaked, come to this address to find me.” This address was where the endorsement shooting took place yesterday, and she rushed there after she found out. When she arrived, she found no one there. Just as she thought she was being tricked and was about to leave, a voice came from behind.
“Welcome, Sowon ssi.” The owner of that voice is the PD who filmed yesterday. "I'm already here. What do you want to do with that video? Delete it now.” She said to him angrily. "Calm down, Sowon ssi.” He said to Sowon in a joking tone. “ "I'm warning you, you'd better delete that video immediately. Otherwise, I will definitely sue you.” She wanted him to delete the video as soon as possible to avoid any more trouble. "Calm down, don't be nervous. As long as you listen to me, I will delete the video. And I advise you not to call the police, otherwise, I will accidentally post this video online and your reputation will be ruined.” Sowon didn't want this video to be spread on the internet, so she had to listen to what the PD wanted from her. "What do you want? Money? If it's money, how much do you want? I can give you 5 million won.” He smirked and shook his fingers. "Money is not important to me. What I want more is you.” She felt confused after hearing this. “Me ?” "Yes, you! Your body is so good and your beautiful pussy shape makes me think about it all the time.” She felt very sick after hearing this. She knew that the PD wanted to fuck her from what he said, but she would never let that happen. “What do you want other than me?” Sowon calmly asked the PD. "I don't want anything but you!” The PD suddenly took off his pants, revealing his cock, which had been hard for a long time, in front of Sowon. "You see, my cock is already so hard for you, Sowon ssi.” PD is now stroking his cock while looking at Sowon. Sowon feels so disgusting to see PD masturbating in front of her.
Even so, she was so frightened by the PD's sudden action that she stood there dumbfounded. He saw her standing still, so he walked towards Sowon's direction. She backed away slowly but PD still got close to her. PD took her hand and placed it on his cock and guided her hand to start stroking his cock. "Your hands are so good at stroking my cock!" Sowon tried to run away but her hands were held and she couldn't. If she tried to run away, he would pull her back. "Don't even think about running away unless you make me enjoy first." He continued to guide her hand to stroke his cock until he felt Sowon's hand begin to move on its own and then he let go of her hand. ”Ah…. Yes. Do it like this and make me cum!” Sowon stroked his cock unwillingly. But in his eyes, Sowon was so beautiful that even stroking his cock unwillingly made him very horny. Moreover, her clothes were tight, which revealed the shape of her breasts in front of him. He unconsciously reached out to touch her breasts but was stopped by Sowon. "What do you want to do? Didn't we agree that I would just make you cum only? Don’t even think about touching me." PD instantly withdrew his hand and continued to enjoy her hand constantly stroking his cock. Guys can never resist a beautiful woman stroking their dick so is PD. “Ah…. I am about to cum…. Ahh….!” He holds the cock in his hand just before he gets close to cumming and cums all over Sowon's legs. Although Sowon didn't want to have her legs stained with this dirty semen, she had no choice but to endure it in order to delete the video. “It’s so great to cum on this beautiful long leg.” He looked in admiration at his cum all over her legs. "I let you cum, shouldn't you also fulfill your promise and delete the video?" He smirked when he heard it. "Who said I would delete the video after you made me cum?" Sowon suddenly felt cheated. "Didn't we agree that you would delete the video if I let you cum?" Her tone sounded a little angry and aggrieved. PD again shook his finger. "You are still too naive, Sowon Ssi. Just now I said that I would delete it only if you let me enjoy it first, but I haven't fully enjoyed it yet." 
"You're a sick liar." As Sowon thinks of other ways, the PD pushes her against the wall. He collected the semen on her legs and put it into her mouth. Sowon tried to resist but couldn't. "How is it? Does this cum taste good?"  She didn't want to answer him because she was forced to eat it. After she was made to swallow that cum, he kissed her and he tried to put his tongue into her mouth. Although she couldn't stop him from kissing her, she kept her mouth tightly closed to prevent him from putting his tongue in. But it was all in vain as he pressed hard on her cheeks, forcing her mouth to open. He kept pushing his tongue in and kept sucking her tongue. Sowon's mouth was full of PD's saliva, and drool was also flowing out of the corners of her mouth. When he found out, he licked the saliva clean and praised it as delicious. “Your lip is so soft and sweet. Your drool is like a nectar." 
His hands were restlessly groping her breasts. "They're so big and soft!" He took off her shirt, and those breasts were perfectly displayed in front of him. PD couldn't bear the temptation of these breasts and buried his head in them. While enjoying her tits, he also removed her bra to expose her nipples. He stopped enjoying her tits and started playing with her nipples. He kept teasing her nipples with his fingers until they were completely hard. "You are so sensitive, Sowon ssi. Look at your nipples are already fully hard." Although Sowon hated to let the PD touch her body, his teasing skills made her moan non-instinctively. “Uh… Stop… please…” He ignored Sowon's attempts to stop him, which only made him more excited. He buried his head between her breasts again and began to lick her nipples. As he licked, his hand slid slowly down her body to her navel and sneaked into her pants to touch her pussy. PD felt that her pussy was already very wet. He pulled his hand out of her pants and showed her the goo between his fingers. "Look how wet you are now. Your mouth says no, but your body is honest." Sowon kept shaking her head to show her disapproval. But the PD put his finger with goo into Sowon's mouth and let her taste her juices. Sowon unconsciously licked his finger with goo in a very erotic way. PD could feel her tongue licking every inch of his fingers. Seeing this, he became even more aroused. He took out his finger and quickly kissed it. This time Sowon did not resist, but took the initiative to put her tongue into his mouth. After kissing for a while, Sowon finally reacted and pushed PD away. He was still savouring the taste of her lips and looking at her. "I didn't expect you to be so proactive. I didn't expect that the innocent and beautiful model is such a slut inside.“ 
"No, I'm not a slut. You can't slander me like that. I just... just..." Although Sowon wanted to object vehemently, she couldn't think of a good reason to defend herself.  "Just what? Just admit that you are a slut." He removed her pants and panties and began to touch her wet pussy. "Look how wet your pussy is. That's enough to prove you're a slut." Sowon shook her head desperately to deny this statement, but the PD ignored her and instead squatted down and began to lick her pussy. Although she didn't want to be humiliated by him like this, she enjoyed the feeling of her pussy being licked and she inadvertently let out a moan.  Hearing her moan, he became more excited and licked her more attentively. He felt that he could not satisfy Sowon with just his mouth, so he inserted his fingers into her vagina to give her a double stimulation. “Ah… no… please…. Ah!!” Hearing these sounds turned him on even more and he increased his speed until she squirted. Her juices sprayed all over the floor, some even onto PD's face. But he didn't wipe it off right away and instead liked her juices. He stuck to her again to suck her juices again. Those juices were so delicious for him. “Fuck, it’s so salty but it’s tasty because it is from you.” He smirked. He stood up and looked at her. Although Sowon avoided his gaze, PD still kissed her again with his smelly mouth. 
During the kiss, Sowon kept resisting but failed and was pushed onto the table by him. She is now bending over on the table now. Her perfectly shaped ass was perfectly visible to him. His cock was now even harder at the sight. Just as she was about to get up, he had already pushed her down on the table again. He aimed his cock at her wet pussy and inserted it. ”Ah…. Stop please….” The moment it penetrated, Sowon seemed to be about to cry. Her virginity had been destroyed by this disgusting man. “Oh my god, Sowon. Your pussy is so hot and tight. Its so great to fuck you.” Even so, PD didn't think of stopping. He started pumping her pussy. His hands were already on her tits, playing with her breasts as he pumped her. When he got used to her tightness, he slowly increased the speed. Sowon kept begging him to stop in a crying voice, but he seemed to enjoy Sowon's pitiful pleading. "Don't cry, sex is a very pleasant thing. I will make you feel so good that you will want to do it again and again.” Although she tried desperately to stop him, she collapsed on the table due to the pleasure brought by the thrusting and was continuously thrusted by the PD. 
Just looking at Sowon's back while fucking her could no longer satisfy PD's desire to conquer her. So he turned Sowon over and made her lie on the table. Her model-like figure, plump breasts and well-proportioned body make him never get tired of looking at her. He couldn't wait to empty his sperm into her. He continued to fuck her and lay on top of her licking her tits. She was no longer able to put up any resistance, all she could do was moan. She could only feel his disgusting saliva all over her body. After enjoying her tits, he put her legs on his shoulders so that he could reach deeper. “Fuck… Sowon, your inside is so tight.” “AH…… so deep….” She moaned super loudly when she felt him hitting her clitoris. He felt that he was about to cum, so he grabbed her waist and thrust harder.  Her body was already filled with a lot of sweat, and PD's sweat kept dripping onto Sowon's body as he thrusted. "It's time to fill you up!" "Please, don't cum inside '' After saying that, he ignored her and shot all the semen he had saved for a long time into Sowon's body. He took his cock out and saw that it was full of his cum inside her pussy. The cum kept flowing out of her pussy. He watched it all with satisfaction, leaving Sowon lying on the table gasping for air.
"Are you satisfied? Delete those videos quickly." She didn't care about anything else, she just wanted the PD to delete the video of her changing clothes as soon as possible. "I've been fucking you for so long, I almost forgot to delete it." Just as he turned on his computer and watched the video again, he broke the pledge. "I'm sorry, Sowon. I decided not to delete it." She was very angry after hearing what he said because he broke his promise. “You fucking bastard, you break the…..” She didn't even finish her words before the PD stuffed his dick into her mouth again. "Shut up, bitch. Who allowed you to talk to me like that? From today on, you are my sex slave. If you don't let me fuck you, this video of yours will be spread on the internet . Hahaha!!" Sowon listened to this devilish laughter which made her very angry but she couldn't resist. Soon, PD shot another stream of hot semen into her mouth. From then on, every time they had a shoot, Sowon was asked to come to the set early and let the PD fuck as much as he can.
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666writingcafe · 2 days
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Hallucination
Solomon
MC: Something bad's happened to Asmo. I need you to come over and help me fix it.
With the tone of their message, I was afraid that I'd walk into a room full of bodily fluids of some kind. Thankfully, that doesn't seem to be the case, but the situation is just as severe, if not a tad bit worse.
I've spent lots of time with Asmodeus, so I like to think I know his various moods and how they present themselves on him, but this...
From behind, he looks perfectly normal, sitting upright on his bed. But his eyes make it perfectly clear that he's completely disconnected from this reality. Whatever he's seeing might only be happening in his head, but it's making him rather upset.
"What happened?" I whisper to MC.
"I don't know the full story, but I found a bag of gummy bears sitting on his nightstand, and I think he ingested enough of them to start tripping." Oh dear. Devildom drugs are no joke. I've known plenty of humans that have either died or permanently lost their minds from a single micro-dose. The stuff's potent.
"Where did he get them?"
"I don't know. I gave Lucifer the bag, and he's taking it over to the castle to have Diavolo and Barbatos look into it."
Asmo suddenly stands up and rushes towards the door. MC quickly blocks him from opening it.
"And where do you think you're going?" they ask him.
"I gotta tell them the good news!" he exclaims. "We can all go back to being angels!"
Well, no wonder MC wanted me over here. At the very least, they need another set of hands to restrain Asmo from running off and causing chaos.
"Sweetie, that isn't possible." MC places a hand on his shoulder.
"But it is! I'm telling you! Raphael told me so!" MC glances over at me worryingly. "I'm not lying, Zephyr! He said that Father ordered that all is to be forgiven, and that all of our brothers and sisters wish for us to return!"
"Asmo--"
"Our wings should be white!" MC sighs.
"Look, even if Raphael wanted you guys back, I seriously doubt your Father would forgive you all for what you did."
"Zephyr's right, Asmo." Oh shit. How long has Lucifer been on the other side of the door? MC steps away from the door, allowing him to enter the room.
"I rebelled against Father in a way that is unforgivable," Lucifer continues. "By falling with me, you've told Him that you agree with my actions. He's not going to let us return." This causes Asmo to burst out sobbing.
"Why would you say something like that?!" he yells. Before any of us can reply, Asmo adds,
"Oh right: you're just stubborn when it comes to Father! You refuse to bury the hatchet!"
"Are you saying you regret coming with me?"
"Yes! I want to return to the Celestial Realm and be an angel again! You know, the way I used to be, white wings and all! You made me a monster, Lucifer!" Lucifer sighs. I can tell that Asmo's words hurt him; the pain is evident in his eyes.
"I'm sorry that you feel that way. I know seeing your reflection in the mirror scares you. But I didn't force you to leave. That was a decision you made on your own, and unfortunately there's no undoing it. What's done is done, and we all have to live with the consequences."
"Fuck you!" The room begins shaking as black smoke fills the air. The next thing I know, the four of us are in the middle of a tall, dimly lit labyrinth.
And we're face-to-face with a giant spider.
"Okay, what in the hell was in those gummy bears?!" MC exclaims.
"An evil spirit," Lucifer calmly replies.
How lovely. Some demon must have thought it was a terrific idea to befriend a trickster spirit and mix its essence into candy to then sell to unsuspecting strangers.
Of course, that demon may have specifically picked Asmo to be the spirit's target. While public opinion of the brothers is certainly better than what it was when MC and I first arrived, there's still plenty of people that wish them nothing but harm and misfortune.
"I'm s-sorry!" Asmo cries. "I didn't m-mean what I s-said!"
"We'll talk about it later," Lucifer replies roughly. "Right now, we need to get away from this spider and find a way out of here."
Taglist: @lost-in-time-wanderer, @fuzztacular, @dianedancer18, @sweetbrier2908, @flare-love, @completelyshatteredbrokenmschf, @thunderlightning351, @l3v1chan, @anxious-chick, @5mary5, @expressionless-fr
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maefansblog · 3 days
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Bridgerton Season 4: What Do We Want?
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[It's probably a long shot if any of Netflix actually listens to what the viewers actually want.] (I posted on reddit a little earlier. I want to see what the community wants from Season 4, too, either here on Tumblr or Reddit.)
Don't make us wait another 2 years. Spin offs should not happen if they can't deliver on the main story. If the story can't be fully told in 8 episodes, give us 10.
1. Main story: Benedict and Sophie
Masquerade, the sofa, Sofie runs away,
Benedict exploring his pansexuality, Sofie's family drama, Sofie Runaway and becomes a servant, Benedict not knowing who Sofie is, and
asking her to be his mistress [ughh yes I hated that], Sofie saying no, 🤣
MY COTTAGE, Sophie discovering Benedict's art,
them falling in love,
the jail scene,
Benedict discovers Sophie is the Lady in Silver, Whistledown and Benedict saving Sophie.
Benedict and Sophie HEA
A good HEA should be at LEAST 15 minutes.
2. Eloise being secretive, hiding away, writing letters and disappearing either by the 7th or 8th episode.
3. Penelope's fall out from Lady Whistledown. Rasing the heir, trying to be a part of society as the heir's mama, and editing Colin's journals. Also saving Sophie through Lady Whistledown.
4. Colin and Penelope writing, visiting John, Fran, Michaela and Eloise. Colin loving being married, eating a lot, and taking care of his son. It is told that Marina has passed away. Penelope, Colin, and Eloise deal with this.
5. Anthony and Kate actually working as the Viscount and Viscountess. We see the new baby.
6. Violet actually moving into a Dowager House. Hyacinth and Gregory fade a little into the background. Maybe Daphne's children make an appearance if Daphne and Simon can't. Violet loves her grandchildren. Show Eloise actually interacting with the kids. Lady Danbury, Violet, and the Queen continue to strengthen their relationship.
Some people are saying that Araminta is Cressida’s mother. If Cressida is Sophie, I will throw the entire show away. If Cressida is Posy or Rosamund, I will feel better. Cressida will have a part in the story, but I do NOT want her with Benedict. 😡
I love show Benedict. I remember reading An Offer from a Gentleman a few years ago and I hated what Benedict did. The show has an opportunity to touch on dark themes that happen with Sophie, but also redeem Benedict by humanizing him. Luke Thompson already has.
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Book Quotes:
"I can live with you hating me," he said to the closed door. "I just can't live without you."
"You're beautiful because you know your own darkness and still, that alone doesn't stop you from finding your own light."
"It suddenly made sense. Only twice in his life had he felt this inexplicable, almost mystical attraction to a woman. He’d thought it remarkable, to have found two, when in his heart he’d always believed there was only one perfect woman out there for him.
His heart had been right. There was only one."
"Be mine. Be mine right now. Be mine forever. I'll give you anything you want. All I want in return is you."
"At the masquerade, even before I saw you, I felt you. Anticipation. Magic. There was something in the air. And when I turned, and you were there, it was as if you'd been waiting for me, and I knew that you were the reason I'd stolen into the ball. You are the reason I exist, the very reason I was born."
[In all honesty, I want Bridgerton to keep going. There are a lot of stories to tell. It shouldn't end here. It shouldn't end with Benedict. It should be told in its entirety. I'm worried that if they continue to deviate so much, they are going to lose a lot of fans.]
If you read this far, I appreciate you. 💕
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b-r-i-n-g-x · 20 hours
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how did you and shay come up with shadow vision?
Thats a funny story actually
It all started with me sleeping and dreaming hdhdhddh
So around like after few days of puzzlevision movie, i think we theorized something in the server so we talked about mr. Puzzle a lot. Then i got very sleepy so i decided to take a nap.
My dream was about talking with the server when suddenly creepy things on my laptop happened where puzzles appeared and turned out this was a way of advertising the new pv by hacking everyone computers and do this silly puzzle is back thing. The next thing i know the new episode started which had smg4 and smg3, but not really them. They looked the same but had extra features and a slight deformed look like many many sharp teeth, pointy ears, gremlinish look. And their personalities were also changed they were acting much gremlinishly and three actually was very open about having crush for Four and Four was more a meanie tsundere type.
Then i woke up, told the server which made them think about it and made me kinda actually draw these doppleganger 4 and 3 from my dream. The sketch of sv4 design is the closest to what i had in my dream, while sv3 was more planned out and changed from what i had in dream. At first i didn't really think too much of this au, bc i thought its silly and probably I'd go with the "they're evil goop" trope, but then Shay really loved the idea and wanted to help me make this au alive. So all together gather up in a groupchat, shay wrote down their note, it their idea to make them tv guardians and they planned out how they were created. I helped out how i imagine their personality, of course shay finalized it and made them even better, I helped with their design, decided on giving them a different colour schemes, I thought itd be great idea to tease and follow of the adventure of shadow vision if we'd make a separate tumblr blog for it.
And basically thats how this whole au borned.
Story wise and character wise it all thanks to @shygirl4991 while i mostly came up with the design, run the blog with shay, make art and random events and help coming up with scenarios and ideas to make this au great.
I remember the hours i spent just to make this silly intro of the cast reveal. I wanted to use the puzzlevision song but in a different tunes, shay witnessed as i spent the whole night, figuring out where are the notes of the song are by my own without any piano music sheets help, purely relying on my hearing.
Just to make a few seconds long video about the cast dhdhdhd
And I never made music before, i think it is kinda hearable how off beat the whole thing is dhdhhd
So both me and shay are very passionate about this au and wanna work on it hard, we love our fake gays. We love doing the askbox as well, giving you guys some crumbs while waiting the next chapter.
And i do hope you all enjoy it all!
I am sorry for my ramblings fhdhhd
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happikattwuzheere · 2 years
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alright just because the thing google said to do didnt work and its worth at least trying even if it gives the internet a small idea of what i do in my free time: does anyone potentially know how to rescue a corrupted save on the playstation version of minecraft? my ps4 just spontaneously experienced a severe error and turned itself off yesterday while i was playing on a world i’ve been working on for literal months, and the only interaction that i can now do with this world is to delete it, which im very nervous to do. internet said i could download an old save which i attempted w/ the most recent one but that didn’t fix the problem. do i need to go back to an even older save? do i need to delete this one first and then it’ll be fine? or is the thing really unrecoverable because thats severely upsetting lmao,, 
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aria0fgold · 3 months
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In this world, the storm will pass
Alec sat atop the railing of the balcony, looking up at the sky as it slowly dims to reveal the countless stars awaiting the night to be seen, to twinkle at the life below the vast sky. A cigarette placed between his lips, smoke rising up to the stars that he can only dream of reaching someday.
His eyes were vacant, what was once a vibrant blue, like the sky in a cloudless sunny day, is now merely as dull as the sky in the fog, in the stormy weather that never left. But it's getting better now. Slowly, slowly… Like clouds drifting in a windless day, moving an inch, yet moving still. Slowly… The storm will pass. But for now, he'll stay in the eye of it.
Standing beneath the stars surrounded by a quiet storm all kept inside. In this world, everything is the same, yet different. In this world, everyone is alive, safe from a greater danger than life itself. In this world, Alec is supposed to be dead, yet here he is… Someone else. In this world, his family lost Alec, yet in his world, he lost everything.
So what is he doing here then? Intruding in a world that didn't need someone like him. An Alec that was doomed to have nothing, living in a world that has moved on from Alec's death. He doesn't know, doesn't understand. He gave up understanding the world ever since that day, the day where it collapsed, leaving him with nothing but ruin. He always thought that, it would be better for him to have lost himself to the forest instead than be brought here by whatever force, whatever power, whatever God, who thought it entertaining to put him here, in this world. Is it fun? His life… to be toyed with by fate, by the world itself, is it fun? He gave up wondering about it, gave up on an answer he didn't need to hear.
Alec took a drag on his cigarette, frankly, he isn't one to smoke, he isn't one to drink, he isn't one to do any such things. But what does it matter anyway? His body… won't sustain any damage from it anymore. It's different. Everything is. Nothing was ever the same ever since his world started collapsing. Nothing was. So it didn't matter, whatever damage he does to his body didn't matter, it'll just heal it all anyway. Leaving not even scars on his skin, what a picture perfect body, devoid of scars. One would wonder if he ever went through such things, when there's nothing for him to show for it.
Alec glanced down, it was pretty high. This house, this balcony on the third floor. He gave up on that thought long ago though, it was the only constant he has left, his will to live, even after everything. Foolish, isn't it? To continue wanting to live even after all that, for what reason really? He doesn't know anymore, his memory isn't as good as it was before. So much so, that he's guilty of forgetting what his family looked like. Had he not been living in this world, he would've forgotten their names too.
Alec looked up again, to the pitch black sky, the stars brightly twinkling at him. Back in his world, he found solace in the night, in the stars above. He thought of them as his family watching over him, was it a myth he read back then? The souls of your loved ones becoming stars in the night sky. What of it now, however? In a world where everything is okay, is his family's souls still amongst the sea of stars, watching over him like they did before? What would they think of him now? Would they be happy? Glad? Relieved? Or would they be mad? Upset? Betrayed? To see Alec be happy with someone that's them yet aren't at the same time?
He doesn't want to think about it.
Just as Alec brought the cigarette to his lips to take another drag, the hand of another reached out to take it from his own, he didn't need to turn around to know who it belonged to. He knows it already, by heart.
“You okay?” Ray stood beside him, leaning on the railing as he threw the cigarette to the ground. Putting the fire out with his slippers.
“You're going to ruin that pair soon if you keep that up…”
“Well, that's fine. I forgot to grab the ashtray on the way.” Ray hummed, “You dodged my question again though.” His voice had a slight teasing tone, mouth formed into a small grin as he glanced at Alec.
“It's always the same answer, anyway.” I'm fine. That's the answer he always gives to that question, every single time. He knows it's a lie, they know it's a lie, but what else can he say when words aren't enough to convey whatever he's been feeling ever since then?
“I don't mind that. Maybe, once a lie is repeated enough times, it'd come true someday.” Ray chuckled, “Though that sounds a bit dangerous, now that I think about it.”
Silence fell between the both of them, it isn't heavy nor is it tense. It was comfortable, like the breeze of the night. Ray looked to the sky, and Alec… he looked to Ray's eyes. It was as dark as the night sky, reflecting the countless stars twinkling high above with a light all too familiar yet not at the same time. This is Ray, yet not his Ray. That is Ray, one who've turned into light, amongst the sea of many others, high above the sky, a bright twinkling star. In a way, he did become a ray of light, just not that of sunshine as he would always say.
Alec moved his eyes towards the sky once more, and the two stayed there, in the silence, below the night sky, underneath the stars, they bathed in the light of a hundred promises, a thousand wishes and a million hopes for a future gentler than their present.
#ariawrites#ariaoc#ariaoc: Alec#ariaoc: Ray#angst#uuuuhhhhhhh how do you tag this thing. nothing triggering in it??? i think? other than angst it aint that heavy#well theres smoking so ig i should tag that one then???? its been waaay too long since i did smth like this#tw smoking#also also to have a lil more context bout whats happening here. basically this is set in an au where the alec here#belonged in a world that ''collapsed'' like some doomsday thing. Stuff happened and everyone he loved is practically dead#hes one of the survivors. he gained some regeneration/self healing from the Event. a lot of things changed and hes desperate#to cling onto anything that Didnt change. a constant to find comfort in. and thats his will to live despite *gestures vaguely* everything#anyway when he reached his limit he was just thinkin of going into a forest to walk. to be lost. or just anything#but theeen he fell through a portal (i call em stray portals in my universe. they pop up randomly) that appeared below him#That portal led him to This world! where everything is alright. no world ending event happened. everyone is alive. except#for one thing... the alec in this world is dead. and his family were still in the process of moving on from it when suddenly#this Guy appeared that looked Very much so identical to alec so Things happened. and theyre all in the process of healing#alec is healing from the Event. the others are healing from their alec's death and all of em are relearning to love#alec is relearning to love these ppl that are his family yet not at the same time. his family is learning to love and give space to#this alec without seemingly replacing their own alec that had died. its a pretty delicate process of healing from grief
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
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#there should be a word for when youre talking around the tightness of tears#speaking against something that hurts#laughing specifically to undermine the seriousness of the statements youre voicing#the worst of both worlds. help me help me hahaha im not even joking hahaha but listen to the lies in my tone. dont focus on the words.#i want plausible deniability. but also i want u to understand my pain and give it a voice. speak it into existence because i cant say it#but if u do i might cry. that sounds hard that sounds like a lot. i kno i know. shut up. keep talking. do u think i dont feel it? i do#but if i split myself in two i can watch myself and suddenly it becomes funny. im not sure why. but i have a bad habbit of laughting at#inappropriate moments. because if its not funny then its just sad and what am i supposed to do with that?#i dunno. thats all to say my dad called bc i was looking at housing stuff and i was explaining some of the stuff im doing rn#and thats hard to talk abt without crying bc ive always been a cry bby but i didnt. and i love my parents theyre great#but they dont understand bc i havent told them all of it bc theres nothing they can do so y make them worry. and idk i also think they#think im less competent than i am. and part of that is just bc im their kid. part of that is bc there r things thst most ppl can do but i#struggle with. but its also not fun to hear: oh yeah i was surprised by how professional u sounded. or i think ur mom found u those#connections. when no. i did that. i made those things happen. i promise i can do things sometimes. but sometimes i cant. i dunno its just#it is what it is. whatever. decisions to b made. do i room with roommates for lower rent#or do i take an expensive place for a year for a single room? i dont want roommates but ill take them#i mean all the single places r like 950 at the very lowest without any utilities or anything but most r well over 1000 and like on a grad#student salary? i think not. not without losing money on net. i can deal with roommates. i have in the past. i wont b able to relax ever#but its fine. ya kno#just annoying. hah my dads sage advice was ah dont let it overwhelm u. go exercise. bc hes an endurance runner guy#and im like bro when i get home i have 1.5 hrs of daylight. but alas hes right. i do gotta run out my angers and its not enough#ugh. one more week. itll work out. and eventually ill walk into a counselors office like bro i just want u to tell me whether or not i have#0cd bc whatever the fuck it is that makes me do these things is absolutely destroying me. name the beast 0cd or 0cpd. tell me what box#i fit into. not that it matters but i feel like i cant complain until someone else rubber stamps me. actually then ill probably just obsess#abt how. actually. theyre wrong. ay fun times#i gotta shake shake shake my sillies out. and wiggle my waggles away. bc i never could let my kids songs go haha#unrelated
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musashi · 1 year
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#feeling so very garbage about myself on this fine day#or rather not me but just. frustrated with my inability to make anyone happy even when im really really really trying#i dont THINK my socials have been dead but maybe they have and i just havent noticed#because i am feeling so incredibly lonely and drained#and honestly just. unloved and unappreciated#i think its probably autistic loneliness because ta/aam act 2 released#which means im back to infodumping in all my servers hoping someone will want to talk about it with me#but knowing its always going to be my most niche special interest and no one is ever going to want to listen to what i have to say abt it#so thats an added loneliness#and then just the heartbreak of#gaining a couple new friends and feeling like we were hitting shit off#only for things to suddenly feel. wrong and bad#plus just a lot of resentment still from the 22nd#my pain over how that whole day played out hasn't gotten any better. i still dont understand what happened.#i feel like every time i open my mouth everyone is laughing at me#i really just need special love and attention right now because i have felt for days like everyone hates me#im trying to be logical and figure out like#if there are holidays im missing or reasons for people to maybe not be around/attentive#but i cant come up with anything#so im trying to figure out what /i/ did#but i don't feel like anything about me has changed besides me being kind of a wreck on the 22nd#and i dont know what to do i just need love an attention so much#and i dont know!!!! where to get it!!!!#reaching out isnt working!!!!!!
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exopelagic · 2 months
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what WAS the normal child response to learning abt climate change actually. bc I’m pretty sure ‘depressed for at least 6 months and becoming deeply fascinated by apocalypses for ~3 years’ was prooooobably not it but who am I to say
#did NOT realise how much this has shaped me actually#also am not exaggerating when I say depressed I. cannot remmeber a lot of it but my parents were Worried about me#anyway I joke abt how I’m a biologist now bc of pokemon and that is very true but this is probably a pretty big chunk too#it’s just wild like that happened when I was 11 and I was DEEEEEP in the apocalypse trenches until I was at least 14#I think I wrote my first longish story when I was? 13? about waking up after some massive chunk of time to a world with no people left#that concept rlly held onto me for some reason. just all the people suddenly disappearing#I’m saying all this like I’m not still rlly into apocalypse stories but it is a mere shadow of its former self#anyway I’m so grateful for the conservation module I took this year bc learning abt the state of everything + the way out of it#scientifically instead of piecemeal from the news and the shit I could read abt. has been rlly good for my everything honestly#didn’t properly sink in until two months ago I don’t think that year this is kiiinda what I would like to do with my life#bc I’d always been resistant to the idea of doing conservation or climate science or anything bc historically thinking abt it for too long#has been BAD for me and I didn’t think I could do that forever while keeping most of me#but now I’m at a point where like. okay very likely I’m gonna be an actual scientist. and while pure science is cool and worthwhile#and I still have feelings abt how there’s no funding or anything for studies without immediate practical applications#(THEY NORMALLY COME LATER AND EVEN IF THEY DONT ITS WORTH KNOWING EVERYTHING WE CAN KNOW SHUT UUUUPPP)#i do wanna do smth that’s gonna make a difference bc like I’m kinda in a position where that’s possible here#anyway my masters is gonna be ecology and hopefully with a microclimate focus which is cool as hell and will hopefully keep stuff open a bit#and I’m gonna try do as much as I can next year. there’s some very cool stuff happening I might be able to join#anyway wow this took a turn#climate crisis! woo!!#luke.txt
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chuluoyi · 1 month
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࿐ ࿔ 🕰️ 「 12:34 A.M 」
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18+ suggestive content! cw. fingering, bindfold play, squirting, p in v. sorry for being mia :') a lot happened during my trip so... a little filth as i hop into my vacation :D courtesy of blindfold and thirst nonnies in my askbox~
a part of gojo's love entries
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“it’s... dark.”
“heh. of course, wifey~”
“and i’m cold...”
satoru’s plush lips curved into a sly smirk at your whine. you were undisputedly the most adorable thing he had ever laid his honored eyes on.
because now, under him, you— so pliant and so pretty in your nakedness glory, with both your hands tied and eyes covered by his blindfold, you were his to feast on.
“don't worry, sweets. you’ll get warm soon~ i’ll help you, yeah?”
“…why did i agree to this in the first place?” you wanted to curse your afternoon self for complying to this just because you couldn't bear to see satoru’s glassy eyes. he had just come back from an intercity mission, rambling about how much he missed you during the three weeks he was away, and insisted that he deserved his reward—tying you up with his many blindfolds.
“heh, you won’t regret it, i promise.” you couldn't see your husband's face, but you could sense his gaze on you, predatory like a lion eying a small cat.
and yeah, of course you were that small cat... about to accept its fate.
“first thing first... let’s start with this...”
he took a hold of your bound wrists pinned them above your head, causing you to arch your back. and damn, this position somehow made your heart thump faster. you started to feel hot too. deprived from your eyesight, your other senses heightened, which meant each touch satoru landed on you would, well...
he traced your body, from your nipples, down to your stomach, and over your hips. his touches were so featherlight, they almost tickled you, but then—
“ahh—!” you gasped when he put his nimble finger into your pussy so suddenly without warning. your breath caught when he pushed that one finger deeper, and then, against your will, you moaned unabashedly.
“look at you,” he chuckled darkly. “my precious little wifey... so freaking cute. just feel, yeah? it’ll feel good soon. you know it already.”
he pulled his finger in and out painfully slowly, and it made you squirm. “w-why so... slow?” you blurted amidst pants, feeling each stroke of his index finger being engulfed by your walls more vividly than you expected.
“oh? you want it fast? i thought i was being considerate to prepare you first, sweets~”
and again, without warning—or because you couldn’t see him at all—suddenly he picked up the pace, causing your jaw to drop. it was overwhelming— so much that your body spasmed and you screamed out his name, “ah... ah! ngh! satoruuu!”
you were so beautiful, like this. satoru felt himself hard already seeing the sheer bare beauty of your body, how wet you'd become, and how helpless you were under him.
and as if mesmerized, he almost didn’t catch himself inserting another finger and scissoring you almost immediately afterwards, making you squeal.
“o-oh god—!” you writhed pitifully, straining your body. your legs shook at the immense stimulation your husband imposed on you. with your vision taken away, everything felt so intense. you moaned out his name again in a flurry when he hit that one spot inside you.
“t-there!” you heaved a breath. “right there—! oh, satoru, you—!”
and then, right then, a pressing urge to—you didn’t know what—drove you almost to tears, and you felt it—
“shit, are you—” satoru widened his eyes as soon as he felt your wetness drenching his entire hand in one spray.
you’re squirting. “damn, blindfolds sure work wonders, huh.” he licked his fingers clean, very satisfied by how things were coming along.
“ah... hah, mmnh...!” your voice sounded more like a sob. you couldn’t believe this. all of that... just because of his fingers? the darkness must’ve driven you mad.
you were most sensitive right after an orgasm, and it felt like it was doubled by your lack of sight. you were still shaking from the aftershock of it and as if to soothe you, satoru peppered kisses on your entire body—which turned into sucking you and leaving his mark.
“you know… you look good covered by my hickeys too.”
his lips was everywhere—your neck, above your breasts, your left nipple, your stomach. you could only squirm helplessly at the heightened feeling. and true to his words, your body soon was littered with his little marks.
you could only pant and moan when he finally inched his hardened member inside you. the way your walls took him inside made a tear slip past your covered eyes—hells, he grew this hard by just watching you bound and blindfolded?
and for the next half an hour, you changed positions—you were now riding him. your bound wrists were now wound tight around his neck, and your legs locked against his waist snugly. through the haze of darkness, you blindly bounced on him.
it took you no time for the coil in your stomach to burn again.
“you’re doing so well—hgn—” satoru groaned and latched his mouth on your chest again, both hands securing your waist. “damn, i’m close—!”
and you felt him do. suddenly the familiar feeling of his hot cum filling you was the only thing you could feel. you were a mess of incoherent moans as he creampied you, trembling as you leaned on him.
you were almost there too. you wanted to cry at the over-sensitivity of all this was— and you didn’t know if you were imagining things or not but your belly felt like it was bulging too just because he had filled you up.
“satoruuuu—!” your moans were the loudest yet as you burst, and you could swear you blacked out due to sheer exhaustion as the next thing you knew, you could see him and your husband gathered you into his arms.
“hey, you okay?” he wiped your tears, a frown on his face. “too much?”
you slumped in his hold, your head lolling to his chest. “mmhm...”
. . .
“i can’t believe you passed out just after two rounds,” satoru giggled as he combed through your hair. “usually you last more than that.”
you huffed. “you’re the meanest of the mean.”
“no? i granted your wish. you told me to touch you there and i did~”
truthfully, you felt so exhausted afterwards. it felt like all your energy was sapped away.
“well, and i get to see you sleeping like a little kitten now. it’s a good deal.” he bopped his nose with yours, before squeezing your smaller frame against his. “my cute wife is fragile. i have to go easy on her~”
you pouted and buried your face deeper in his chest. lord, yeah, you admitted that your lovemaking earlier was possibly one of the best. the feeling of his skilled fingers on you… you sighed. if you were a cat, you would be purring already at the sheer thought.
perhaps sensing that you were thinking back to earlier session, satoru suddenly hummed.
“well, how about we try tying me up next~?”
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nervoushottee · 2 months
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With Want | Paul Atreides x Fem!Reader
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Summary: Paul Atreides always had dreams. But from the very beginning, there was an invisible string pulling him to you.
Warnings: (MDNI 18+) Reader's secret name is Nuri, Set in Dune Part 2 , fingering, soulmate/destined pairing, shitty understanding of the Dune universe (only watched the first Dune move and only half of Dune part 2 whoopsie so I'm probably butchering some of the lore or whatever. Its fanfiction babes, I'm not writing this for accuracy),
Note: Hey hottees!! Y'all I'm not even finish watching Dune 2 and I started writing this. Timothee was doing something to me in this movieeee. Hope y'all enjoy!
*not edited at all babes*
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Paul Atreides had dreams. Both enchanting and horrifying dreams that would eat away at his mind and soul. And from the very beginning, he had always felt this small pull of a feeling. 
It was weirder than his dreams because even when he woke, he still felt it. Like it was a small tether, a light string in his heart and soul that hummed so softly. A light that was so dim that you would have to squint to see. 
After everything that happened with his father and being forced out of his home. The Fremen people found him and his mother. And that feeling grew stronger. He thought it was about the sayings of what his mother, the Bene Gesserit, would tell him but it felt more than that. 
It was odd, he could never see what it was in his dreams, or hear whispers of it like a name. But it was always that same enchanting feeling. So when Paul followed the Fremens, it continued to grow. By the time they walked deeper into the caves, it went from a strong pull to an overwhelming presence. 
And that’s when he saw you. 
“Who is she?” Paul asks Chani. The young woman already knew who Paul was asking for before she turned her head. A small smile engulfs on her face. “Nuri.”
Nuri.
Paul repeats your name to understand the feeling on his tongue. He hadn’t seen you before. Or maybe he did, he wasn’t too sure. The Fremen people covered their faces from the desert and a lot from what he was learning.
‘She moves like the wind.’ Paul says to himself as he watches you glide through the crowded room. Paul’s eyes meet yours briefly. Yours blue from your sclera to your irises. You stop moving through the crowd to stare at him. 
That feeling buzzed around him, stronger than ever within Paul as his eyes never leaving  yours. Your lips slowly turn up into a smile. Your eyes move towards Chani who still stands next to him, nodding in acknowledgement. Chani repeats the same gesture with a smile on her face, your gaze lingers back on Paul before a group of people walk in front of Paul’s view of you. By the time the people separate. You were gone. And the feeling suddenly fades from a sharp intensity to a dull buzz. 
“You should be careful around her Outworlder.” Chani says to him in a low tone as the common area starts to get a bit busy with people. The two of them sit down on a blanket as other where for food. 
“Was she with the group when you found me and my mother?” Paul asks, dodging the statement his acquaintance gave him. 
Chani shakes her head, chewing her food before speaking, “No. She doesn’t come with us all the time.”That intrigued Paul. He turns himself fully towards Chani, his bowl of food mixed with spice long forgotten . “So is she not a fighter?” 
“She is.” Chani says between chews, ”But she also walks with the Sayyadina.”
The Sayyadina. The Fremen’s Reverend Mother. 
“From what I’ve been told, her family was killed just after she was born. Stilgar took it upon himself to look after her. As she grew, the Sayyadina felt something within her. So Stilgar gave them the authority to let her walk with them. She is truly a great fighter, so when we need good fighters she will come with us when necessary. If not, she stays.” Chani continues. 
“A fighter and one that walks with the Sayyadina? Is that possible?” Paul questions. 
“To a nonbeliever? No. But to those who do? Yes. Stilgar believes in the old ways and in the faith. The Lisan al Gaib.” She says to him in a taunting tone which causes Paul to avert his eyes. The moment they came in, some shouted hatred towards him and his mother but others screamed in rejoice, calling him The Lisan al Gaib.
“Our people follow behind him, he is a good leader and his judgment is almost always right and trustworthy.” Chani finishes. 
Paul sits with the information he tells her, his hands slowly dipping in his bowl to start eating the food that was cold to touch but warm against his tongue. The heat of the spice warms his insides as it goes down his throat. “And what about you? What do you believe?”
”I don’t believe that you’re the Lisan al Gaib, that's for sure.” She chuckles. Paul feels his cheeks flush in embarrassment but urges her to continue. “I believe in our people. And she is a part of our people. And if she plays some part in whatever faith stories then so be it. But she has never faltered in training. She has never failed in the dessert and she is a good friend. She believes in our people as much as I do.”
After the words Chani said, Paul felt that she was over talking about you, more hungry and interested in the spice beneath her fingers. So Paul didn’t ask anymore. He ate his food in silence but his mind was racing with the thoughts of you. 
—— —— —— ——
The day had turned into night. Stilgar showed him and his mother the small room for them to sleep in for the time being until their fate was decided. A lot of them didn’t trust him and his mother, and for that Paul understood. 
His dreams woke him in the late night. Lifting his head from the makeshift pillow, he looks over to his mother who is still sound asleep. Her hand was placed on her lower stomach. 
‘Rest easy sister, I will be back.’ He says in his head before getting up and quietly leaving the room.
The caves are quiet at night. Besides from the guards that linger within the open spaces to protect those who rest. Paul doesn’t think it’s necessary but he avoids walking around where they are. Just in case to not stir any trouble. The people were calm at the moment since their fates were going to be decided soon enough. 
He walks to the small body of water his mother had told him about. The scared waters of the Fremens. The waters they would never touch. He sat there for a while. Enjoying the stilllness in the air and the calm look of the water. It reminded him of home. “I miss you father. I will take care of mother and sister.” He says to himself quietly. 
He wants to cry but reminds himself to save his water. “Don’t waste your tears on the dead” from what Stilgar told his mother. 
Paul sat still for a moment longer before he felt that pull again. That invisible string strong and tight as it pulls him to his feet. He absentmindedly walks into a dimly let hallway, his pulse quickening against his neck. His heat beating erratically against his chest as he turns the corner to see you. “You’re Nuri.” Paul states.
“You shouldn’t be out at night Paul Atriedes.” You say to him, your back towards him but he can hear the teasing smile within your words.
“I couldn’t sleep.” Paul explains to you simply, “And I made sure to walk where the guards can not see me.” The feeling nearly suffocates him as he walks toward you. 
“Ah.” You turn towards him, you’re dressed in almost the same comfortable linens as him. His a tan brown color and yours an off white. “You and your dreams.”
How did you know about that? He questions in his head, unconsciously taking another step towards you. You both now at arms length.
“I see you in my dreams.” Paul lies. 
“Do you?” You ask back, your tone sounds as if you know he’s lying. 
“No but I can feel you. In my dreams and out. And I don’t know what it is or what it means.” He explains. 
You hum in satisfaction as you slowly walk around him. Like a beast or a predator trapping its prey. “And what do you feel now?” 
He feels like his body is vibrating, His skin tingling and his veins jumping. His fingers buzzing as if he wants to reach out and touch you. He does what to touch you, he wants to feel your skin on his. “What do you feel?” Paul asks the question back to you.
You stop walking to stand behind him. The hairs on his neck stick out as he feels your body heat near him. Your lips slowly grazing his ear making his eyes flutter close. 
What the hell is happening to him?
“I feel like the spice on my tongue. I feel like the sand beneath my feet. I feel like the beauty you see in your dreams. I can feel you.” You whisper against him. 
Paul turns around to you, your bodies closer than ever. His lips inches towards yours as his flickers between your eyes and your lips. 
“You speak in tongues.” Paul whispers to you desperately.
“Shall I tell you in a way you understand?” You whisper against his lips. 
“Yes please.” he begs softly. 
And you don’t hesitate to put your lips on his. Paul moving quickly as his hands clasp softly against your cheeks. Moaning in the delight as he feels your hands glide against his chest, gripping his shirt. 
He feels you everywhere, but it isn’t overwhelming anymore. Now that he’s holding you and tasting you, your tongue glides against his. He feels a wave of warmth wash over him as his body and soul settle into the feeling of you. 
So warm and inviting. So enticing and serene. 
You push him towards a dark hidden spot in the hallway. Your bodies are engulfed in darkness but when you break apart for air, you can see him all the same. Paul moves you toward the wall, his body trapping you in as he kisses your neck. 
“I’ve dreamt of you, Paul Atreides. I’ve seen you in my dreams, felt you lingering in my mind, heart and soul.” You say to him breathly. Moaning quietly as you feel his tongue glide against your neck. Your guide his hand to touch your breast, causing Paul to move away from your neck and look into your eyes. 
‘So beautiful.’ Paul thought. He brings his other hand on your cheek and kisses you hungrily. Squeezing your breast, feeling the weight of it in the palm of his hand.His hand glides to let your nipple slip in between his fingers as he squeezes.“I want to dream of you. I want to see you in my dreams, want to hear your voice call my name.” he mutters to you in between kisses.
When you break away from his kiss, Paul starts to ask what’s wrong until he feels your hand on his and glides it up to your lips. You kiss his fingers individually as he stares at you in adoration and desire. You slowly slip his middle and ring finger into your mouth causing Paul to groan. His hips shifting upwards against you as he feels the wetness of your warm tongue glide against his fingers. He watches as you pull his fingers out of your mouth, his digits glistening wet. Your hands glide his now wet ones down and underneath your linen pants.
“Touch me and you will see me.” 
He lets his hand glide against you as is greeted by your wetness, causing you both to moan out in pleasure. You are sinking deeper into the wall and Paul sinking deeper into you. His fingers continue to glide there experimentally as you pull him back for a kiss. “Help me see.” Paul mutters desperately against you
Your hands reach down in your lines to move his hand into the position you need for him to make you feel good. You mimic a small circular rotation with your fingers on the back of his hand that was still against you. Once Paul understands, he begins to move his fingers in the motion you instructed, making you moan against his lips. 
He pulls away to watch you. You looked more ethereal than any other being or spirit that was believed in all of Arrakis. Your head back against the mountain wall, your lips slightly open as you moan. Your hips moving against his fingers as if you’re chasing for pressure. Paul dips his head in the corner of your neck and kisses it feverishly as he applies more pressure in his movements. Causing you to hold on to shoulder and call out his name. Oh how he wanted you to say his name again.
Feeling a little confident he glides his fingers down, but keeps his them pressed against your swollen bud. He pushes his middle finger inside of you causing you to gasp. You hold onto his shoulder gripping his shirt as you breathe heavily. You drag his head from your neck to kiss him. With his finger going in and out of you at an agonizing slow pace, you kiss him sloppily. But Paul doesn’t seem to mind, he enjoys it. Humming against you with a smile. 
When you feel his ring finger follow in for a second is when you lose it. “Paul!” you say loudly. 
His tongue mingles with yours as he silences your cries. With the slow circling of his thumb against your clit and the way he pushes his fingers into you makes you clench against him. “Fuck.” he moans. 
You whine as you feel your orgasm growing inside of you. The feeling you both shared with one another makes you feel even more on edge as you grip Paul in anyway you can. You rapidly as you feel yourself getting close. “Pau-Paul -” you begin to tell him as such but the building pleasure doesn’t get you far. Paul places his other hand against your cheek, tilting your head to look up at him. His eyes hooded and his cheeks flushed. You feel his thumb brush against your bottom lip. 
“Let me see you.” 
His words are the final push that sends you over the edge. Paul kissing you to silence your cries, you mewling against his lips as his fingers never stop their learned rhythm. You shiver against his fingers, your body tingly and warm. He kisses your face from your cheeks, to your eyelids and everywhere in between as he waits for you to come down from your high. He whispers your name, making you flutter your eyes open to see Paul stare at you with want. 
“Show me again.”
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an-emo-trashbag · 1 year
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this thumbnail is so funny when seeing it was uploaded 3 weeks ago
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lilacstro · 20 days
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Astro observations pt 1
Hey y'all this is my very first post :) Please take it with a grain of salt. These are just my interpretations and observations and a placement could mean million different things on how its being viewed and understood and nothing is sure on how it manifests for you in your chart.
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Jupiter in 8th house can mean many things, one of them being your spouse would bring transformative experiences into your life.
2. Scorpio mercuries may have a tendency to over analyze what is being said or always wanting to read between the lines
3. I have seen Pluto in 5th house of all the people who's mothers were dominated. Though this can mean the other way around too, and could be that the mother was dominating.
4. I think other than most people saying Pluto 1st housers go a massive change in appearance, I think it could actually mean that their personality and persona goes a massive change at some point in their life, or its constantly being evolved through learning experiences
5. Venus in 1st house people, are extremely beautiful.
6. Check Asteroid fama (408) and industria(389) if any of these positively aspect your venus, you could get fame for your beauty or work within the beauty industry.
7. Most women with major scorpio/capricorn placements appear intimidating even though it might not be so...but they indeed hold themselves to high regards mostly
8. Having an earth rising in your SR can indicate having a calmer and a predictable year. Nothing chaotic or major. I had Taurus Rising in my SR and I had lost a lot of toxic/chaotic people in my life and things were stable and peaceful throughout. I was on a gap year so I did not make friends either hahaha
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9. Having sun/moon in 10th house synastry or 10th house stellium could mean you both together are quite talked about or people are aware towards your feelings towards one another visibly. Sometimes it could also mean, you two's business isnt as private as you think lmao and people are aware on whats happening.
10. Having moon in 10th house in SR can indicate your emotions being extremely visible to everyone, even if you tend to hide them.
11. Libra mars people, might not come off as too masculine but rather a little more in tune with their feminine side (thats cool imo)
12. I think Moon in Gemini people often tend to say "I never said that" when they absolutely said that or "What do you mean" even when its clear what is being talked about lmao.
13. Leo women are usually very outgoing, charismatic and fun imo. Leo anywhere in the big 3 can mean that this side exists to the native though it might be overshadowed by other aspects in the chart. The types to dance at the empty dance floor and then suddenly everyone wants to dance lol
14. I was watching Nat Geo a long time ago and saw how lioness protect their children from the Lions and often go hunting. I think all mothers are protective of their children but for Leo women, its on another level lol. Also, they might like taking pride in their children and providing for their children. Not as in boasting, but just genuinely taking pride.
15. Cancer men and the love for their mothers. NEVER met a single cancer guy who did not have a lot of love for their mother.
16. Sag placements usually Sun and risings usually have a very comforting presence. Even it maybe like you met them for the first time, they can make you feel grounded and comfortable. Very non judgmental too.
17.If you have Saturn in 6th house, please try having a routine even if you might dread it lol
18. Capricorn moon men usually have very traditional or maybe orthodox beliefs about how women should be. I have seen that a lot.
20. Taurus Mars may like slow recreational activities like cooking.
21. Wanna know how you would react during a break up? See your moon+8th house sign. Example, a Leo moon with 8th house in cancer would be extremely emotional and everybody would know.
22. Girls with Libra Sun, Rising or MC may really like makeup and have good fashion sense.
23. Having your moon sign same like your mothers sun sign may indicate some kind of special connection between two of you. It could be that you understand her much better or could be that you don't get along at all too? idk there is something much special about it.
24. Sun in 10th house could mean your dad had a status in society. Could also mean, your birth could bring him luck in his career.
25. Jupiter in second house people usually come from wealth or hold potential to create generational wealth.
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That's it :) I hope it resonated with you all :)
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leilanihours · 1 month
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# IMGONNAGETYOUBACK
pairing: paige bueckers x ex-gf/iowa!reader
word count: 4880
warnings: suggestive content, arguing
summary: your "rivalry" with a certain uconn blonde has its speculation, but no one knows what happened behind the scenes.
⭑ from lani: why is every single thing ive posted based off of a song..anyways..hope yall enjoy this as much as i enjoyed writing it
AS YOU SLIP into your black jersey, adrenaline courses through your veins. you and your teammates have successfully carried iowa to the final four of march madness. you've all come this far and refuse to break the streak.
but similar to your previous game against lsu, there's a lot of speculation surrounding the tension on the court with uconn. people are going crazy over the paige bueckers and caitlin clark face-off, but they’re going even crazier over your own heated interactions with the blonde.
the internet has decided to constantly pit you two against each other after observing your intense taunting and confrontations in previous years. they believe that it’s merely competitive tendencies but they have no idea where it all actually stems from.
you haven’t always been a hawkeye. for your first two years of college, you were a husky through and through. the public knows this, of course, which adds to the stigma around your name. but after a season-ending injury, you decided you needed a change of pace and environment. it was nothing personal against your teammates, coach, or school in general, you just felt like uconn wasn't where you were supposed to be.
so after you were in the transfer portal, everyone went ballistic. there was a plethora of reactions - some encouraging and supportive, others targeted and calling you a "traitor."
that's what the public is aware of. but they have yet to discover the deeper scars.
"you gonna lock in, y/n?" one of your teammates asks from behind you. turning around, you are met with caitlin, the other hawkeye under extremely close observation tonight.
"i gotchu," you smirk, "what about you? you gonna carry the team again?”
"you already know," she says, mirroring your expression. the two of you have gotten very close over the past couple years, which honestly makes the whole paige situation worse as people make comments like "caitlin and y/n versus paige is crazy" or "ready for this 2v1 game tonight!” they piss all three of you off but really just add to the hype and buildup of the game.
soon enough, your coach is ushering all the girls out of the locker room and onto the court. screams and cheers fill your ears as the crowd observes your entrance. and damn, if your ego wasn't high before, it definitely was now.
the two sides of the arena were filled, one side a sea of navy and white, the other a myriad of gold and black. music blasts from the speakers and makes the walls shake with energy. as you make your way over to the bench, you raise your arms repeatedly to get the crowd going. gaining an immediate reaction, you smile big and put your hand to your ear to play into the praise.
your teammates shake their heads at your antics. they know how competitive you can get. you tend to interact with the crowd and cameras a lot, but no one (especially fans at home) complains.
the crowd before you quiets down for a split second as you focus back onto what your coaches are saying in the huddle. suddenly you hear echoes of booing and other taunts as everyone turns around to see the uconn girls run out excitedly. the last one to come out is none other than paige bueckers, blonde hair in her signature braids and ponytail immediately catching your eye.
part of the reason people always compare you to her is because of how similar you are. your game style, skill set, and energy has always resembled the husky's, but you never understood it until she does the exact same hand motions you did but to the uconn supporters.
as she turns away from the crowd, her eyes dart around to find yours, doing so in a matter of seconds. her icy blue eyes send a chill down your spine as she holds intense contact. fuck. she knows exactly what she's doing. 
you can tell from the few seconds your eyes are glued to hers that she still wants you. you just know. there's too much emotion behind the stare, saying everything that needs to be said and more.
coach bluder gives the run-down on defensive assignments quickly and explains some of the plays. somehow, by some force of nature, you're stuck guarding the one person you were conflicted with: number five, paige bueckers.
your teammates all turn to you as soon as the words leave your coach's mouth. they are well aware of your special history with the blonde as well as your complicated relationship now.
"you got that, y/n?" caitlin asks you.
"yeah," you shrug, "you don't have to worry about me. i'm good." and you meant it. you were sick of being compared to paige all the time and were ready to show people who's better.
did you still care for the girl? of course; you always have and always will. but will you let that get in the way of your winning streak? hell no.
the referee beckons each team to the center of the court for the tip-off. hannah sets herself up for the jump ball, standing across from aaliyah edwards on uconn's side. 
you confidently walk over to where paige is standing. your eyes meet hers once again as you wordlessly dap her up, offering a civil front. you already know you'll being seeing the clip on your feed a lot tomorrow morning.
despite the cordial interaction, your mind is running wild at the feel of paige's long fingers brushing against yours. you missed her like crazy, but were also upset with her for multiple different reasons. right now you were enemies, opponents, rivals. but in a few hours after the game? well, you would have to wait and see.
the ref throws the ball in the air and aaliyah manages to get her fingers on the ball first to swat in her teammates' directions. uconn almost immediately turns it over due to paige missing kk's pass as the ball goes out of bounds. it's just too easy.
------
the buzzer sounds loudly, signaling the end of the second quarter and halftime. you and your teammates jog to the locker room, sweaty and out of breath. the score was currently 32-26 with uconn in the lead.
you had to admit, that definitely wasn't your team's best first half but you were ready to come back twice as hard.
"c'mon guys," lisa yells, "we gotta seriously up our game right now and fight against their defense. keep giving them as many fouls as possible.
"caitlin, we're gonna try to give you more threes, so everyone else, if caitlin has the ball, set those screens, got it?"
you all nod wordlessly as you pay attention to her words. your coach turns to you, looking you directly in the eye, her stare deadly.
"y/n, you gotta push bueckers more, don't direct all your focus on getting cait the ball. really use that energy that i know you have."
"yeah i hear you," you pant as you wipe your forehead with a towel. 
one of the coaching assistants hands you a waterbottle, so you immediately squeeze the ice cold water into your mouth without putting the nozzle on your lips. it's a habit that you have whenever you're in a rush or busy thinking about something.
"and one more thing, y/n," you hear your coach call you before you make your way back on the court, "please, for the love of god, leave your emotions out of it tonight."
the words shoot a prick in your chest, not expecting such a direct statement. nonetheless, you nod firmly, agreeing with her as you jog to where your team is lingering.
you may or may not have had a few...touchy altercations with a certain number five.
like in the middle of the first quarter...
------
"bueckers with the lay-up, does she get it? no! it is rebounded by l/n!"
your hands grasp the ball tightly under the net but before you can make your way over to the opposite side of the court, another set of hands on the ball stops you.
you look up to see paige also grabbing the ball as it sits in your hands, starting to fight to get it in her possession. with the two of you pulling back and forth, the refs whistle blows to put an end to the quarrel.
however, you two continue to push until one of your teammates wraps their arms around you to pull you off. walking away, you laugh, energized by the interaction. you put your hands up in surrender as kate releases you from her grip.
you turn your head back around to see that paige has also been forcefully pulled away by one of her own teammates with a similar expression on her face, clearly as equally as fired up as you.
------
and the middle of the second quarter...
------
"THREEEEEEE! Y/N L/N!"
you flex your arms and let out a proud yell. it's your fourth score of the night and you feel amazing. your teammates clamor over to you, patting you on your back and bumping you with their chests.
paige failed to block your attempt, putting her arms up and jumping but not being able to reach the ball before it falls in the net.
seeing her tough front falter for a second, you point a finger to her just to spice up the game a little more and get the crowd really going. she shakes her head and chuckles darkly, waving you off with a hand.
"did you see that? bueckers and l/n back at it again with their supposed rivalry, what a dynamic duo, am i right?"
------
time flies rapidly as the clock runs down. it's the last quarter of the game and tensions are at an all time high. with less than ten seconds left, iowa has the lead 71-69. it's way too close for comfort.
everyone's on edge. the announcers narrating the game for folks at home, coaches, benched teammates, the audience on either side of the court.
when uconn forces a turnover, you stand out of bounds waiting to pass the ball in. 1.1 on the clock. paige stands with her back to you. no one could've predicted your next move. 
you take advantage of her guard let down and quickly bounce the ball off of her, chopping the time in half as she fails to catch it in time and lets it out of bounds once again.
you feel a second of remorse once you catch the defeated look on her face. but you couldn't let the game slip out of your hands that easily. not without a fight.
less than one second on the clock, there's no way for uconn to win. caitlin passes the ball to gabbie who simply throws it high in the air to run down the clock.
the buzzer sounds as you and your teammates run into a group hug, screaming and cheering. you have a small celebration before going to the handshake line. as you pass and commend the uconn coaches and players, you allow your fingers to linger on paige's for a second longer than others.
when she meets your eyes there’s a look of hurt apparent in them, yours filled with guilt. you know how important that game was to her, to her entire collegiate career. but this game was also important to you, she had to know that.
------
your teammates insisted on celebrating at a nearby bar and restaurant, feeling high off the recent victory.
you were obviously down to go with them, but decided to take a little extra time in the locker room showers just to get some peace and quiet to yourself. you tell the girls that you'll catch up in your own car.
so now you're changing into a fresh set of clothes in a dim, empty locker room. some people might find the setting eerie but you enjoy the stillness of it all, especially after the day you've had. 
you’re wearing a basic white crop top and a muted purple skirt, a thick black leather jacket draped over your shoulders to protect yourself from the cold evening air. as you grab your backpack and make your way out to the gym’s parking lot, you spot a familiar figure wandering around aimlessly.
of fucking course i'm left here with her, you think.
you let out an irritated sigh as you continue to rub a small towel against your head to dry your hair.
the sound of your shoes against the pavement catches paige's attention and causes her to turn around. when she observes your relaxed, freshly showered figure, her chest tightens. whether it's from hatred or attraction, she doesn't know.
"hey," she yells to you, stalking over.
you look up to her direction and laugh, "you look like a lost puppy, bueckers."
"damn," she says, "first you decide to beat me and now you're insulting me and calling me by my last name? way to kick me when i'm down, y/n.”
you try not to display how flustered you feel when she says your name like that, “i didn't decide to beat you, i just did. deal with it."
"attitude much? i'm just tryna be civil, ma, no need for the hostility."
that fucking nickname.
"did you need something from me? i'm just tryna meet up with the team so spit it out."
"you heading to the bar?"
"yes," you say skeptically, "how the hell do you know that?"
"i'm heading there too, dumbass," she replies.
"what the hell are you talking about?"
"your team invited mine to hangout," of course they did, "is that a problem?"
"might be," you respond shortly, "so why are you here if the rest of your team is at the bar?"
"i could ask you the same question, l/n," she mocks the way you say her last name.
"i asked you first."
"eager to hear me talk i see." before you can reject the idea she interrupts you, “it’s okay, i know how much you love my voice."
she's not wrong, of course, but you would never admit it to her face. you ignore the question with a roll of your eyes.
"i took a longer shower than everyone else,” you shrug, “told 'em i'll just meet them there. your turn."
she laughs nervously before answering, “uh, i was actually supposed to get a ride from azzi but i guess she forgot," she says as she looks around the empty parking lot. now it's your turn to tease her.
"that's crazy," you laugh and shake your head, "your own friends don't even wanna be around you."
"man, shut up," she scoffs.
there's a beat of silence before you begin to walk to your car, getting the hint that the conversation was over.
you hear paige groan behind you before asking, "yo..do you think you could give me a ride?"
the nerve.
"excuse me?" you say incredulously as you unlock your car door and slip into the driver's seat. the blonde jogs up to your car, resting an arm on the frame of your door. you become hyper aware of how close you are, and how good she looks.
for the first time since you started talking to her, you take in her appearance. she's wearing a light blue cropped tank top, almost like a sports bra, and dark gray distressed jeans. there's a white uconn hoodie in her hands.
the amount of skin exposed makes your body heat up. the way her arms are flexed against your car makes you think back to the many times they've been flexed underneath your weight.
“can i. get. a ride.” she staggers out, like it’s painful to ask you for a favor. you take advantage of her position immediately.
“i dunno, can you?” you smirk.
“i fucking hate you, do you know that?”
“i dunno, do i?”
“dude.”
you throw your head forward in a laugh, shoulders shaking at her irritation.
“you’re so easy to piss off, i love it.”
“yeah well there’s a lot of other things about me that i know you love but we don’t have to talk about that.”
“do you want a ride or not?” you deadpan, “’cause if you’re gonna act like this all night i don’t want you at the bar, bro.”
“‘bro’? that’s what we’ve come to? that’s even worse than just bueckers, y/n.”
“just shut up and get in the car.”
“yes ma’am,” she says with a mock salute as she closes your door and jogs around the front of the car to the passenger seat.
as you turn on the engine, paige settles into the spot next to you and immediately reaches for the aux cord .
“um,” you pause, “what are you doing?”
“blessing you with my awesome music taste? what do you think i’m doing?”
“absolutely not,” you say, “my car, my rules.”
“um, no. the ‘rule’ is that the passenger chooses the playlist while the driver sets up the queue. we’ve been over this.”
“okay but,” you start carefully, “that was when we were together.”
silence.
“so do you want the ‘late night drives’ playlist or the ‘oldies but goodies’ playlist?”
“what?”
“you heard me.”
she brushes over your comment painfully fast. you had no idea why. you refuse to leave it at that.
“just put on our playlist."
more silence. you gotta be kidding me.
“i don’t-“
“don’t even try, paige, i know you still have it.”
“but-“
“don’t fight me on this. all i want is to celebrate with my team and get a drink so can you please hurry up so we can go?”
“shit,” you hear her say under her breath, “yeah.” she pushes her hips forward as she gets comfortable in the seat.
your eyebrows furrow at the reaction. this girl is so fucking complicated. you weren’t sure if you wanted to curse her out or take her right there.
———
“y/n!! you made it!” jada squeals as you walk into the bar, “and…paige? wait. are you two back together??”
“hell no.”
“definitely not.”
you and paige turn to each other.
“oookayy..” jada trails as she pulls you away from the blonde in the direction of where your team was sat.
the girls cheer your name as you take a seat next to caitlin. you can tell they’ve already had at least two drinks each.
“hey,” caitlin says with a warm smile, “you got some catching up to do. let’s go get you a drink.”
she ushers you to the bar where you are able to sit and observe the environment. the venue is fairly dark, the ceiling lights dimmed to a warm hue with a few candles on each table. the stools at the bar were a cold metal that gave you goosebumps. all the table booths have dark brown leather couches on one side and wooden chairs with intricate designs on the other.
“so,” caitlin starts after she’s ordered you a drink, lord knows what it was, “i saw you and paige walk in together. that mean anything?”
“please,” you scoff, “i’m done with her, cait, like seriously.” she stays silent, waiting for you to continue, “i mean, she’s so annoying and cocky and confusing, it’s exhausting - i hate her.”
“you sure about that?”
“yes.”
“then why do you still put up with her?”
“what do you mean?”
“i mean,” she says as the bartender delivers two of the same drink, one for you and one presumably for herself, “just stop talking to her. ignore her.”
you pause to think. “but she’s always the one starting these dumbass petty fights.”
“then don’t answer her?”
“i have to.”
“and why is that?” she eggs you on, sipping on her drink.
“because,” you sigh, “i can’t let her win.”
“or,” caitlin smirks as the two of you get up to head back to your table, “you still like being around her.”
“as if.”
“okay. tell me this then - why do you two still smile at each other like nothing has changed?”
“we almost never see them, cait.”
“no, i know but…i saw the way you looked at her today. you still like her, y/n.”
you two have returned to your seats with the rest of the team. you find yourself looking for a particular blonde (again) across the room. the uconn girls were sitting at a similar table to the one you were currently at, just on the other side of the bar.
to your relief, caitlin drops the conversation to engage in one with kate about the game. you quietly sip on your drink as you continue to stare at paige. she’s smiling - laughing - with azzi and aaliyah. you missed them. you missed her. you didn’t acknowledge it until now, until caitlin knocked some sense into you. you did enjoy being around her, mainly because it reminded you of how it was before you transferred to iowa. even though your conversations consist of constant jabs and insults, it was better than radio silence.
but you also hated it. you hated how you couldn’t be with her like you used to. you hated how you left. you hated how she treated you when you left. you hated how she acted like nothing happened. that’s why you have to win every time you’re up against her - literally and figuratively.
paige scored four three-pointers in a game? you score five. paige got six rebounds? you got seven. paige had eight assists? you had nine. it wasn’t just for yourself, it was for the media. with how they constantly have a magnifying glass on your life, you can’t jeopardize your career. so you have to be better than her.
your jaw clenches at the thought of the pressure, the expectation. you down the rest of your way too light cocktail and make your way back to the bar for a stronger drink.
“hey,” you say to the bartender, “can i get a sex on the beach, please?” he nods with a polite smile as he walks away to make your order.
“still rockin with those?” you hear an all-too-familiar voice say.
“if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it,” you mutter, not bothering to turn to her.
she scoffs. what is her problem now? you think.
“you’re so damn predictable,” she laughs, “it’s hilarious.”
“at least i’m reliable,” you retort, “when’s the last time you had any stability in your life?”
“when i was with you,” she says immediately.
that makes you turn your head. you are greeted with paige’s cold eyes and an unreadable expression.
“what are you doing, paige? what are we doing?” you sound exhausted.
“you tell me. i never got a good explanation when you…left.”
“i tried. you wouldn’t let me. didn’t think you wanted to hear from me after our last conversation.”
“don’t pin this on me,” she says pointedly, “you left me.”
“i didn’t have a choice, paige, you have to understand that.”
“but did you have to leave me? you know we could’ve worked it out.”
“could we have?”
she sighs. the conversation has elevated quickly. you didn’t expect her to open up like this now, to bring all of this up now. maybe it was the ambient atmosphere or the influential alcohol, or both. the man behind the bar sets your drink down on a small napkin in front of you, but you decide against going back to your table.
“so…” she says quietly, “have you been seeing anyone? i know how the fans like to twist shit, but is any of it true?”
“wouldn’t you like to know,” you laugh.
“hey, i’m just tryna gauge where you’re at right now. scope out the competition, you know how it is.”
“‘scope out the competition’?”
she shrugs.
“have you been seeing anyone?”
“have you heard that i’m seeing anyone?”
god, this girl could not give a simple answer to save her life. but two can play that game.
“maybe i have. maybe i haven’t. and maybe i’ve seen you with a certain husky named azzi?” you have no clue where you got this idea knowing damn well that they’re nothing more than friends.
“and what if i am? you jealous, ma?” they’re nothing more than friends…right?
“hilarious.”
“that’s not a no.”
“no, it’s not..” you mumble under your breath, turning away from her to avoid her burning stare.
“good.” what the hell is this girl getting at? her avoidant yet suggestive responses set something off in you. “you never answered my question.”
“i am with someone,” you lie through your teeth, wanting to get a reaction out of her.
her breath hitches, “who?” her tone is targeted with a hint of…anger?
“why do you care? you’re with azzi right?”
“i never said that.”
“but you didn’t deny it,” you point out, using her own tactics.
“i am now. i’m not with her. so who are you with?”
“i don’t need to tell you anything.”
“so you’re not with anyone?” she laughs. this girl.
“i am.”
“then tell me.”
“no.”
“fine. be like that,” and suddenly she’s pulling you up from the barstool and into a poorly-lit hallway.
“where are we going?” you demand as you two turn a corner, the only light is the distant hue from the main part of the bar.
“we need to talk about this.”
“talk about what?”
“this,” she motions between the two of you as she pushes you against a wall, one strong arm preventing you from leaving.
“there’s nothing to talk about.”
“i’m not gonna let you keep dodging this, y/n. you left me to go to whole different state with no explanation whatsoever.”
“because you ghosted me first! what was i supposed to do?”
“we were supposed to work it out. remember? when we were teammates on and off the court?”
“you shut me out.”
“because, y/n,” she sighs deeply, “i knew i couldn’t handle it if i had to say goodbye to you. i would’ve-“ she stops herself.
“you would’ve what?”
after about ten seconds of silence, she whispers, “i would’ve begged you not to go - not to leave me.”
your eyes shoot to hers, but she’s looking down at the floor. her head is almost resting against yours as you observe her adamant yet vulnerable state. you’ve never seen her like this.
from what you’ve seen online, paige seemed to have the time of her life after you transferred. you assumed that she moved on so easily, so quickly. you didn’t consider that it was all just a front.
“paige,”
“what?” she barely gets out, still avoiding your eyes.
“look at me,” she doesn’t, “please.”
her head flies up at that, “what?” she repeats.
you don’t know what to say, you just needed to see her - really see her. her eyes are filled with such clear emotion yet you can’t put your finger on what she was feeling. from her body language you can tell that she misses you. and as you realize you subconsciously put your own hand on her waist, you body is telling you that you miss her too. 
you contemplate your next move for a second, questioning if all of this is worth it. but she’s worth it. in the time you’ve spent apart from her, you grew and matured. you also realize that you need her like you need oxygen. you come to the conclusion that you always have, but it took distance and space to accept it.
not wanting to get too in your head, you smash your lips onto hers as your shoulders instantly relax. you feel paige pause but eventually melt into the kiss, moving her hands up to the nape of your neck. you bring your other hand up to her wrist, resting it there as you relish in the feeling of her lips finally against yours after almost two years. you guide her hand down to your thigh as you move to grasp her shoulders. she glides over your upper thing, riding up your lilac skirt.
she breaks the kiss for a moment, “i’ve always loved you in purple.”
before she can resume the heated kiss, you push against her and observe your surroundings. to your left is the open area you just came from, all your friends oblivious to your activities. all the way down to your right is a door leading out to the back lot and a closer door - presumably a supply closet.
you weigh out your options: do you want to stop the interaction completely, drag her into your car all the way outside, or simply shove her into the closet and have your way with her?
smirking up at her, you pull her into the closet as she laughs at your desperation but follows you nonetheless. 
yes, there were still broken pieces in your relationship. yes, you have always claimed to hate each other. but no, you weren’t leaving without her, even if you had to use handcuffs.
she was never not yours, and you were never not hers.
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
Text
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#i was rereading thru my last dyslexia assessment and its really interesting. i took it 5 years ago#which is before i really figured out how to be a person and it does match a lot of my struggles#as u might expect. like very very bad short term memory and delay in ability to call words to the surface#the last one might explain why i constantly struggle to find the words im looking for. and obviously my ability to read and spell are very#bad as well. but they dont actually drill down on why. its weird. theyre screening for problems but dont ask what the problem looks like#from my end. like my eyes dont track well across a page and i find it it difficult to read passages because my brain is constantly#interupting me with unrelated thoughts and daydreams. and you woudlnt kno that from reading this report. makes me wonder how nuanced an#understanding of dyslexia we actually have. i should read dyslexia papers bc i find it really interesting#it also makes me kinda sad bc the person assessing me made notes like: very attentive and focused. obviously anxious when under assessment#like aw poor anxious freak lol. i also clearly did not fucking understand what they were asking on the executive function assessment#bc i answered that i had no problems there and i clearly have problems with just about everything asked abt and i kno i did then as well#it must have been academicly originated and like i can do school. im good at school. but everything else is a disaster#to clarify. i wonder how much assessment of how dyslexia is experienced when assessments are just looking got indications that#its happening. bc if u kno its there as a teacher it doesnt really matter what it looks like to u. but i personally find it v interesting#and im sure brain ppl do to. id do a dyslexia brain study. come at me neurologists#also questions like: r u able to stay organized? me: of course! i only exist in like 3 locations so even if i lose things theyre easy to#find in the massive disorganized pile of things i leave behind#its very funny to me reading that report as i take these measurements where my workspace looks a disaster and im constantly losing my pen#and forgetting what i need to do. then suddenly remembering. like can i stay focused? yes. i stay so focused that i burn my brain to dust#ay ay ay. at least i still feel ok abt my measurement taking. tho my ability to sleep is already in decline so im sure that wont last long#bc thats how it goes. an up mood where maybe i wanna run around in circles screaming a bit but its all good. not getting a ton of sleep and#doing too much. then burning out and losing stability. pulled forward by my own compulsive thoughts#but for now were good. and someday ill do a dyslexia deep dive bc i really really wanna kno but also i cant read which makes learning hard#when u want academic info lol#unrelated
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verstappen-cult · 6 months
Note
gonna take up on the request opening bc i love these lil blurbs you do with your moodboards! maybe "how they defend you online" esp charles and lando but if you feel like adding others its up to you !!
THE BOYS DEFENDING YOU FROM ONLINE HATE | F1 GRID
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★ — LANDO NORRIS (4)
lando was streaming when you came home one day. once he heard the front door being closed and then your footsteps, he excused himself with his friends and viewers and went to greet you. when he came back, there were several texts from his friends letting him know of some not-so-friendly comments about you. suddenly, lando had something else to do and ended the whole thing. he did not tell you anything, lando simply waited until his next stream for what he wanted to do. it was very simple and definitely something lando would do; and staring right into the camera lando let the world know that if they don’t support his relationship, then he just doesn’t want their support at all. from then on, lando just blocked everyone who didn’t have anything good to say. you’re the most important person in his life, how can anyone hate you? and so, lando made a promise to himself: show the world the amazing girl you are.
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★ — CHARLES LECLERC (16)
even way before you started dating charles, receiving hateful comments and messages was a common occurrence. of course your boyfriend knew about it, everyone could see what was happening just by choosing a random picture on your instagram and reading the replies. it was sad, awful. but you didn’t want charles to do anything, you stopped him a lot of times because you didn’t want to bring too much attention into the whole thing. charles loves you and that is all that matters to you. it was, well, okay… until things became a little to real, a little too much, and charles couldn’t sit back and do nothing. so with a little bit of help from his team, he managed to write a very good and long statement about the whole thing. there were mixed opinions but things quiet down a little. and you weren’t happy at first, but something as simple as seeing your comment section hate-free made you forgive him sooner.
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★ — OSCAR PIASTRI (81)
oscar is a man of very few words and never engages in online drama or gossip. if and when he’s online, oscar just wants to see cute and funny videos. he’s a formula one driver and people should only be interested in that part of his life, but he knows that will never be the case. however, he’s still surprised to see various comments around twitter about you. they are not about how beautiful or intelligent you are or how happy you seem to make oscar with your pretty smile and sense of humor – not that they would know that. not that they deserve to know that, either. some part of him wants to reply to those people who definitely don’t know you, he’s angry, disgusted. and the rational part of him tells him to simply don’t say anything because they don’t deserve it. so, oscar just clicks to make a new tweet and begins with a simple phrase “you don’t know anything about me or my life…” and so on. maybe he sounded a little harsh, maybe things will get worse; he couldn’t care less, as long as you’re not mad with him, he can live with being the center of the drama. oscar will never let anyone disrespect you.
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★ — MAX VERSTAPPEN (33/1)
max doesn’t care what people think and have to say about him, that ship has sailed a long time ago. but he can’t ignore when people say mean things about you, he just can’t, so, he doesn’t. max replies to every single tweet and comment on both his and your instagram that he sees, he goes directly to the point and if he’s mean then, who cares? maybe it’s a little bit childish but he doesn’t care, max will not allow anyone to talk shit about his girl. and if he needs to make a video or do an interview or whatever he needs to do to make people understand that you are part of his life and forever will be, then he will be more than happy to do them. max is almost never online, so when all of this happens he makes sure to make time to be online, to post a picture of you on his instagram story, to post a photo of your vacation together on his feed, to say how much he loves you via twitter, to mention you when he has the chance during an interview. he loves making you blush and seeing you trying to hide your smile when you see all those things. max also loves pissing people off.
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★ — ALEX ALBON (23)
alex tries to be friendly. when he sees someone say something not good about his girlfriend, he doesn’t hesitate to prove them wrong and defend you. he knows you’re more than capable of doing it and has seen you doing it before; he loves it. but there’s this something inside of him trying to break free and just let everyone know the funny, pretty, amazing, kind girl he’s lucky to call his girlfriend. so, alex lets it free and goes liking, retweeting and replying to every single comment about you and how shiny and nice your hair is, how you seem to make alex so happy and how he’s always smiling around you (he makes sure to let them know why is that), how lucky alex is to have you by his side, and so on and on and on until there’s nothing more for him, until he can’t think about the mean things people said, until you are laughing next to him and calling him obsessed and kissing him like your life depends on it.
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★ — DANIEL RICCIARDO (3)
daniel chooses a catchy song and changes some of the lyrics, then sets his phone down and sits with a big smile and his guitar. when the video starts, he simply says “this is dedicated to all of the assholes thinking that is okay to hate on someone’s girlfriend just because.” and then he starts singing. there are a lot of bad words and cursing and long pauses looking directly into the camera without losing that big and pretty smile he has. daniel then uploads the video to all his platforms with a little paragraph about why bullying is bad and why you should mind your own business because he’s not that interesting anyway and it won’t make him break up with you because some trolls are practically begging him to. he ends up getting in trouble for not consulting with his team before doing what he did, something that has him going viral, so viral that people outside of formula one and people who don’t even who he is talk about it. exactly what he wanted.
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★ — MICK SCHUMACHER (47)
the moment mick has to hold you in his arms as you cry because you’d read something mean about you, it’s the exact moment he decides to do something about it. he doesn’t want to cause drama or make things worse, so, it takes him a little while and some long calls with his sister to know what to do. mick puts the poetry classes you two take a few months ago to good use and writes the most beautiful and romantic poem you and everyone would ever read. it is about you, about his love for you, about what you mean to him and everything he likes about you. he posts a little phrase to his instagram stories and sets a time and day for when it will be posted it. when the day cames and you get to read it, you end up crying again but for a whole different reason. it’s not that you didn’t know mick loved you but it’s the gesture, the time he spent doing it, the fact that he wanted to do it and wanted the whole world to read his love letter to you, something that will forever be there.
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© VERSTAPPEN-CULT ⎯ do not repost, translate, plagiarise or claim any of my works as your own.
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