#its how Kevin's hand got broken

[thefoxesraven]

Have I ever ranted about my Kevneil to Kandreil Raven!Neil AU I've had stewing in my mind like a nice pot roast on here?

[chipistotallysane]

I wrote a bit for what I am now dubbing my Forever Trapped AU! This is when Ben meets Rook and how Rook finds out about the trauma Ben went through because of the Forever Knights :3

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It was going so good.

When Ben had met Rook, he was expecting him to know what happened all those years ago. The issues he faced because of the Forever Knights were still present after all, no matter how much time had passed. He thought Gwen would’ve at least told him a little bit.

The thing was, Rook didn’t know a single thing. He only knew the Forever Knights as some villain of the week. A menial foe the (in)famous Ben Tennyson left for his partners to deal with. Rook was a clean slate, he wasn’t going to act all weird around him (except for the small idolization he had, but that would fade fast). In the eyes of Rook, Ben would be… as close to normal as he ever could be.

That fact alone made him want to cry happy tears and hug the living daylights out of him. That wasn’t very normal though, so he played it cool. Rook was a bit strange sometimes, but hey so was Ben. He was funny (in a deadpan-sarcasm sorta way, which Ben had too!), and an amazing fighter, and they got along great! Rook was basically his best friend at this point, and they teased and laughed at each other just like best friends do. He couldn’t be more happy, and he must’ve texted Gwen at least a hundred thank you’s and another two hundred for Grandpa Max and Kevin for this. He was slightly nervous to be without them at first, but with Rook and his newfound normalcy he felt like he could take on anything that came his way.

Unfortunately, nothing good lasts forever. Especially with Ben Tennyson.

The day had started normal as ever, deceptively normal. Ben woke up, brushed his teeth, took a shower, ate breakfast. Then he got an alert about some goons or whatever trying to infiltrate a local museum. Seemed like a typical villain of the week, some easy shit for Rook and him to wipe the floor with. He was dead wrong, of course.

That’s where he was now, at the museum; locking eyes with the leader of the Forever Knights (what was left of them) and feeling so, so impossibly small. If he could go back and do something different he might’ve rather crashed the prototruck than be here, now. It was already bad enough that his vision was blurring because he was holding his breath again, but Rook was here. He could see his blurry shape to the side of him, probably confused as to why he was frozen in place. He wasn’t supposed to know. They were supposed to be normal friends. It had been going so well.

“It’s been such a long time since I’ve seen my most informational experiment after it escaped, I almost couldn’t recognize its human disguise.” the knight said, not to Ben but to his followers. Ben tensed up bad at the way he talked, it’d been so long since he last heard himself talked about like that. Six years, six years had passed and here he was; frozen in place like the terrified kid he was when it first happened. He hated how they didn’t even address him. He hated himself for being so scared, for almost believing he could be normal. He hated how Rook was standing there, probably looking at him all concerned and wondering why his normally cocky and semi-reckless partner was acting like this.

His vision was going dark, he needed to breathe he needed to BREATHE-

He felt a hand on his shoulder and immediately shoved whoever it was as hard as he could away. The sudden action caused him to start breathing again, faster than usual but at least he was breathing. He blinked a couple times, his chest heaving and he realized he shoved Rook. He hadn’t expected the reaction and fell onto a glass casing, which was now broken. If he hadn’t had his protoarmor, if he had landed wrong-

The Knights took this opportunity to grab both him and Rook, using some strange device they had found to open up what looked to be a large steel box, and locked them inside. Ben scrambled to get to the door before it shut but to no avail. He was stuck here, he was too scared to do anything so now both him AND Rook were getting kidnapped and Ben didn’t know if he could do that again. He definitely couldn’t let Rook go through that. He should’ve done something, anything. His nails scraped the metal of the floor as his breathing quickened, his chest getting tight and his eyes burning.

“Ben? What is going on, what is wrong..?”

He tensed, shoulders going stiff as he watched Rook cautiously make his way over to where Ben was sitting. He was trying desperately not to make that stupid gasping noise you do when you hold back a sob. He couldn’t even respond to him, he couldn’t say anything because it was all happening over again.

He noticed Rook’s expression, it wasn’t fear like Ben’s was, it was confusion, and concern. Like he dreaded. It caused a pain in his chest, because he just wanted to be normal with him. He didn’t want Rook to have to see this ugly side of him. Before he knew it, he choked on a sob and then all the tears started to flow out of him like a river. He tried to bury his head between his knees, keeping his face out of sight. Rook would know why he had those perma-eyebags now. He would know everything and all his normal would be gone. Rook would hate him for lying, for pretending he could be just like how people saw him. The hero, Ben 10 who was brave and cocky and never backed down.

“...Ben, may I touch you? I do not want to scare you like last time.”

He lifted his head up a bit to respond, but no words came out. It was like they were all stuck in his throat, turning to air as soon as they were about to be spoken. He looked at Rook again, thinking about it. He nodded very slowly, lowering his head again. He wouldn’t hurt him. He wouldn’t.

Rook wrapped an arm around him, making Ben hold his breath for a second, but starting to breathe again shortly after. The touch was distracting him, making him focus on something else. Rook rested his head on Ben’s shoulder. His hair was soft, he could feel some of it. Slowly but surely he got used to his hold, his tense shoulders relaxing. His breathing was mostly normal except for the occasional hiccup, and he was still crying. He didn’t want to be different, he didn’t want their friendship to change. He just wanted to be his best friend, his normal alien fighting best friend.

“Are you feeling better?” Rook asked, barely a whisper. Ben nodded, faster this time. He did feel better than earlier, at least a little bit. Rook seemed content with this information, humming.

And then, Rook started to purr.

Ben barely noticed at first, it was so soft. But gradually it got stronger, and Ben’s eyes went wide. He didn’t know Rook could purr, he knew he was cat-like but this was full-on cat behavior. He looked at Rook, who looked at him back.

“Cat purrs provide many health benefits… one of which is to lower stress. Mine may not be exactly the same, but I thought it could help until you wish to talk.”

It did, it did help a lot. He still felt a nagging dread but it was easier to manage now. It wasn’t all consuming and trying to destroy him from the inside out anymore. He swallowed, opening his mouth to respond.

“...Thanks, partner…” his voice was scratchy from crying, and he could barely talk above a whisper. He was close enough to Rook where he didn’t have to, however. He breathed deeply, trying to calm himself more.

“Of course,” he said gently, sickeningly sweet and it did something to Ben that he really didn’t want to unpack now. “Does this count on our tally of me saving you?” Rook asked, lightheartedly.

Ben let out a short, raspy laugh, “you wish, Blonko.” He felt the other’s purr get slightly stronger at him saying his chosen name, and he smiled a bit. This was a good distraction.

They stayed like that for a while, probably 20 or so minutes before Rook spoke up again.

“Do you wish to talk about it now?”

Ben hesitated, it was… a lot to talk about. Especially while he was here in this… containment cell…? He wasn’t sure. He eventually nodded his head, deciding it was better to just get it over with.

“When I was young, like- a couple weeks after I had gotten the omnitrix… I busted it. I got turned into Grey Matter and couldn’t turn back. This… guy found me and kidnapped me, and for a while it was just some villain of the week type shit… until it wasn’t.” he paused for a second, taking a breath. “Grandpa Max and Gwen didn’t find me in time, I got sent to this castle-type place, run by the Forever Knights… they don’t like aliens. They uhm…” his breath hitched a bit, recounting what had happened, “they did a lot of… experimenting. I was there for a month before I escaped…”

He took a deep breath, finishing his recount of events. He didn’t tell Rook everything, but he didn’t need to, he got the gist. He didn’t need Rook to know about the dissections, the lobotomy thing, any of the details.

“I just… I didn’t want you to know. You were the first person I got close to who didn’t, and I really liked being normal friends with you. I didn’t want that to change because of my dumb issues…”

Rook squeezed him a bit, gently, “your issues are not ‘dumb’, nor will they change the way I view you. You are still my friend, and my partner.” he said simply.

Ben felt his eyes well up a bit, but grinned and wiped them away. He said it like it was obvious, and it had been. It had been obvious, Ben could just be a little dense. That was okay though, it was all okay right now.

“Thanks dude,” Ben said, lightly punching Rook’s chest affectionately, “wanna get out of here? I think these Knights are about to get a visit from my good friend Way Big.” he grinned widely, nerves still all shaken up, but he could deal with it now.

Rook smiled, “I thought you would never ask.”

[weziu]

When Neil looked up he saw his reflection, and instinctively recoiled. It was almost comical, the way he moved in that moment, and he wondered for a second after if a bystander noticed him and laughed. His arms tensed up, his eyes widened, and his entire body flew backwards like someone pushed him hard enough to fall. He was lucky that he didn't spill the coffee, lucky especially because it was too expensive for its worth, but Andrew liked this cafe more than he'd like to admit.

Neil tested himself, sometimes. He straightened again in his seat and stared straight ahead. if he let his eyes rest, his vision blur, he could see past the glass, could see the bystanders that walked by in a hurry, or the dogs that stopped to bark at each other, or the way that the leaves hanging from the trees swayed in the wind. But this was one of those times. Neil let his vision focus on his target, let his picture gain shape, slowly, on the surface.

It came together, broken.

Neil Josten can not exist without his past. Despite that, he sometimes wishes that he could forget it. Was there any reason, really, for the scars that litter his face? What is he when you peel this all off, let the rawness of his heart speak instead? The lines on his face felt like broken puzzle pieces. His blue eyes, a monster, a certain death. Maybe these reasons are why his reflection scared him - he could not see his face without seeing what once was, what once happened, what he ran away from for so long, and when he tested himself, he wanted to see how much of that will to run away he still has left. How much of the deep learnt instinct still flowed in his veins.

Andrew's coffee burnt his tongue when he took a sip. From his left, a bell rang. Footsteps that he'd recognize everywhere got closer, but he still looked towards the noise, just to look. Andrew's hazel eyes glowed under the yellow, warm lightning of the small place. He glanced at the table, and frowned.

"How long have you been here?"

"Hmmmm." Neil answered.

"Is my coffee cold?"

Andrew sat down. Neil pushed the cup towards him. Andrew touched it and nodded in something like satisfaction. Neil looked at every line that made Andrew's face, and wondered if Andrew sometimes tests himself, too. How often.

"It's cold outside," Neil looked away, overwhelmed. "I didn't bring my coat."

"Of course you didn't." The weight of Andrew's gaze almost made Neil give in to his bottomless feelings. "I told you to check the weather."

The window stared back at him. The world outside seemed miles away from his reflection. From his world. Two dimensions, unfamiliar. They don't touch. Not often.

Andrew took a sip from his too-sweet coffee. Neil's tongue burnt, but Andrew gulped the drink down with ease and closed his eyes in appreciation, or maybe for a moment of disconnect. Neil put his hand on the table. Andrew reached out to meet him halfway. Their hands didn't touch, not really. It was a simple poke of fingers against each other, an awkward thing they studied how to do. Few fingers overlapped each other. The world, again, seemed far away, but in a comfortable way, now. Neil's body relaxed for the first time since he sat down here. Tension left his body, slowly. It was warm, he realized. Warmth surrounded him.

He thought of people, and wind, and dogs. Of his dad and his knives, and almost laughed with the shock of it all. Dimensions, parallel, but they meet somewhere, even if he can't experience it fully. Andrew. His friends. The cigarette packs he hid from Kevin, the sun, sometimes, or the way it lands on Andrew. There was still a barrier between what he knew and what the rest of the world did, but right here, in this cafe, sitting with Andrew in silence and watching him sip his coffee, pushing back the less pleasent memories, leaving the cold for later, he thought that maybe his dimension isn't so bad. He survived so far.

ao3 link

[jeysbvck]

there's still a thread (that runs from your body to mine)

i'm back with another fic!! this one is for the absolutely wonderful & talented zaynee, who not only sent in a prompt, but its also their day today!! happy birthday bff!!🥳❤️ i hope you enjoy this fic but enjoy your day more!!🤭

[smut, 18+, read at your own risk]

taglist; @wrestlezaynia @loki69zowens @crxssjae @nightmare-viper @paigereeder @wrestlingprincess80 @southerngirl41 @alyyaanna @xtripleiiix

word count; 2.8k

summary; Kevin & Sami haven't seen - or spoke to each other for 3 months since Kevin broke it off & moved to Smackdown. That all changes when they're in the same place for the Royal Rumble, & Kevin can't take it any longer.

Sami lay on the bed, atop the sheets, staring up at the ceiling, replaying the same memory that had been on repeat in his mind for months. He didn't just see it when he closed his eyes; he saw it when he was awake too, when he wasn't occupied. Which is why he spent so much of his free time in the gym or working on ideas for his storylines, just so his brain wouldn't be free to think about Kevin. He'd even started crashing with Jey at hotels when they were booked together; the guy was always on. It never seemed quiet enough around him, and it helped Sami. Until Jey fell asleep, and Sami lay in the twin bed next to him, wide awake and his brain began to play the movie Sami hated so much.

Tonight, Sami was in his room alone, and once again, that fucking awful film started to play, and all Sami could do was watch.

"We can't do this anymore."

Kevin's words echoed around the room and into Samis’ ears, like he'd just used a blare horn to announce it. Sami thought everything was great between them. Sure, he felt Kevin pulling away slightly, but he had convinced himself he was just busy. It had been a busy time in the company, so it was a simple conclusion to draw. How hadn't Sami seen this coming? He thought he knew Kevin like the back of his hand.

“What do you mean?” Sami had asked. He'd hoped he was mistaken, that Kevin meant something else; but he knew deep down it was exactly what it sounded like. He stayed on Kevins’ chest, not wanting to move, like if he didn't move, this wouldn't happen.

“I'm going to Smackdown.” Kevin replied quietly. Now Sami was really confused. Why did Kevin going to Smackdown mean they have to break up?

“Okay, so?” Sami questioned. “We can work around that. It's only for a few weeks at the most, right?”

Kevins’ heartbeat quickened underneath Samis’ head. “No.” Kevin sighed. “I'm being traded to Smackdown because Jey came to Raw.”

“Oh.” Sami whispered. He could still feel the way his heart was splintering. “They chose you?”

“Um, they didn't exactly choose me, Sami.” Kevin told him. “I, uh- It was my idea.”

The room began to spin, Samis’ splintering heart now completely broken, he could feel the pieces stabbing him in the chest. He lifted his head off Kevin's chest and stared at the man next to him. ‘You volunteered? Why?”

Kevin stared at Sami, the glint in the red-haired man's eye that Kevin loved so much had been replaced with sadness.

“I- I need space.” Kevin replied, sighing. He knew everything would change after Wrestlemania, especially after they finally fell in bed together after hitting the highest highs of winning the tag titles on the biggest stage of the industry. Kevin had wanted this for so long and tried so hard to pretend he hadn't been in love with his best friend for years; once they had explored each other's bodies in such an intimate way, Kevin was hooked.

They never spoke about it, though. They never spoke about what it meant. They never spoke about their feelings. Both men would have a plan to do so, but whenever they were alone; it ended up in a quick make-out session, some heavy petting, and once in their shared hotel room, they couldn't hold back.

It got too much for Kevin; they seemed to be on the same page, but how could he know for sure? He was too afraid to bring it up, too afraid to vocalise that his love ran deeper than friendship. He thought this was enough, but it was weighing on him, like he was Atlas, holding up the world on his shoulders. Kevin knew Sami looked at him like he was responsible for the stars in the sky, but he also noticed that it was a running theme for Sami. He looked at everyone he cared about with so much love in his eyes that Kevin wasn't sure he was special. He needed space to breathe, and he couldn't do that around Sami. The man took his breath away every time.

“Space?” Sami repeated. He scoffed and threw the sheets off, swinging his leg off the bed. “So, you're leaving me?”

Kevin's heart fractured at those three words. It's what he was doing, right? He wanted to tell Sami that he loved him more than he could ever put into words, but that wasn't fair. He was running away, so how could he profess his love? Instead, he watched silently as Sami stood up. He took in every part of the man's naked form; if this was the way their story ended, he needed every hair, every freckle, every scar, every imperfection that made up Sami Zayn seared into his brain.

But when Sami started packing his bag and pulled the black zip-up hoodie over his shoulders, Kevin scrambled out of the bed. “Wait, Sami, what are you doing?”

Sami chuckled humourlessly. “What do you think? I can't stay here, Kev.”

“No, stop! Please!” Kevin begged, reaching out to Sami, who stepped away from the gesture. “Not like this, just one more ni-”

Sami hauled the strap of the black bag over his shoulder and shook his head. “You did this, Kev, not me.”

“I know, but-” Kevin sighed and sat back on the bed, defeated. “Where will you go?”

“I'll crash with Jey.” Sami replied, turning his back on Kevin, unaware of the tears filling his eyes. “Good luck on Smackdown.” Sami sighed. “I hope it was worth it.”

-

A loud, continuous knock on the wooden door pulled Sami out of his thoughts. It wasn't Jey. He had a very specific knock to let Sami know it was him, and he wasn't expecting anyone; so he ignored it. Until it became more frantic, and Sami groaned out loud.

“Alright, alright!” He shouted, “I'm coming!”

He made the mistake of not checking through the peephole, and he froze when he answered the door, not expecting Kevin to be standing there. It was the first time in four months that he'd lay eyes on him, at least in person, and Samis’ heart raced.

Sami knew he was going to see Kevin tonight at the Royal Rumble. Kevin was on the match card, and Sami was coming back from his break as a surprise entrant. He'd even seen Kevin backstage. He pretended he hadn't, of course, but he wasn't expecting him to be standing outside his room. Sami was very aware he was half naked, in just a pair of sweatpants, his hair still drying from his shower, and as he stared at Kevin, Sami knew Kevin was trying hard not to check him out, which made Sami blush.

“Hey.” Kevin said, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

“Hey, man.” Sami replied. “You're not room service.”

A small smile crept on Kevins' lips, and he shrugged. “I mean, I brought a protein bar?” Kevin replied, pulling it from his pocket, and Sami let out a real laugh, the sound like music to Kevins’ ears as the smile on his face turned into a grin.

The sweet moment was fleeting as Samis’ face fell slightly, as if he'd momentarily forgotten everything that had happened. “What are you doing here, Kevin?”

“Oh, um- I-” He cleared his throat, ready to say whatever came to mind. “I just wanted to say-” He sighed, chickening out and instead saying, “Welcome back.”

Sami sighed. He didn't know what he was hoping for, but he was disappointed anyway. “Well, thanks, I guess.”

He began to close the door but was stopped by Kevins’ palm slamming against it. “Wait, please?”

Sami was instantly transported back to the last time Kevin begged him to wait, and this time, he obliged. He opened the door wider and stared expectantly. Kevin felt the pressure, still feeling the weight of the world on his shoulders, but he refused to look away. He was finally looking into the eyes of the man he loved, and he would keep doing it for as long as he was allowed.

“Well, what do you wanna sa-?”

“I miss you.” Kevin blurted out. He watched as Samis’ demeanour changed, the way his eyes softened, and his shoulders slumped slightly.

“Kev…”

“Sami.” Kevin pleaded. “I know I said we couldn't do this anymore, but I need you. Please.”

Kevin wasn't expecting Sami to fold like a deck of cards, especially not so quickly. But he didn't know how much it took for Sami not to answer the phone when Kevin drunk dialled him or when Kevin texted him at three AM at the beginning of this whole mess. Kevin had haunted Sami this whole time, and Sami wondered if Kevin felt the same way. He thought he couldn't handle opening himself up to Kevin again, only to have to say goodbye again, but now — Sami didn't care. He needed Kevin as much as Kevin needed him.

Sami threw himself at Kevin, his lips finding where they needed to be. Kevin stiffened up, shocked, but he fell into the kiss quickly, melting into Sami as his hands fell on his naked waist, pulling him closer — not that they could get any closer.

“Are you sure?” Kevin mumbled into Samis’ mouth. Sami nodded, pulling Kevin into the room, refusing to break the embrace.

Kevin kicked the door shut, his hands gripping Samis’ waist so tight, like someone was going to take him away. But he also pulled from the kiss, and when Sami whined, Kevin chuckled. “Seriously, Sami, are you sure about this? I know I hurt yo-”

“Kevin, shut up.” Sami told him, his eyes dark with lust. “I'm sure.” 

Kevins’ eyes widened, his shorts tightening at the front as he stared at Sami, his eyebrow cocked, a shit-eating smirk on his face. Kevin licked his lips and pulled Sami back into him — hands desperately clutching at one another, pulling the other closer until their bodies were almost one.

“Why am I the only one semi naked?” Sami asked, breathlessly with Kevins’ mouth on his neck, his teeth nipping at his skin. Kevin responded by untying his shorts and pulling them as far as he could without removing his mouth from Samis’ skin. Sami helped Kevin push the shorts and his boxers down his thighs, then wrapped his long fingers around Kevins’ thick cock.

Kevin gasped into Samis’ mouth, his cock twitching under the man's touch. Sami grinned as Kevin began to rock against his hand, and he gripped his length tighter.

Kevin pushed Sami backwards, right up to the bed, before pushing him down onto the mattress. Sami looked up at him, his lustful eyes so full of love. He'd been wondering if this moment would ever come again if he would ever feel this way again, and now it was happening. He wanted to savour every moment.

Kevin seemed to have the same idea. He raked his eyes over Samis’ body as he lay below him. Noting the extra scars that he had acquired over the months they'd been apart, wondering which matches they had come from, which opponent had added to the painting on Samis’ physique. He watched Sami pull at the strings at the front of his sweatpants and buck his hips as he undressed, completely enthralled by the sight of Sami undressing for him.

He dropped to his knees and took over, pulling the black pants down and over his ankles, before running the palm of his hands up Samis' legs slowly. Sami shivered as Kevins’ hands followed the path of goosebumps up his shins, his knees, right up to his thighs. The tips of his fingers grazed the inside of Samis’ thighs, making him groan at the touch, and Kevin watched as Samis’ cock twitched. He felt his own strain against his shorts, but he ignored it. Right now, it was all about Sami and his pleasure.

He ran his hands over his thighs, lifting himself up further, watching as Samis' face contorted with pleasure. His hips bucked, begging Kevin to touch him in the place he needed the most. His fingers teased the red hair around Samis’ cock, before he slowly wrapped them around the base of his cock. Sami groaned, rutting against Kevins’ hand, throwing his back as Kevin took most of Sami in his mouth.

“Fffffuck, Kevin!”

Kevins’ hands found Samis’ balls, and he massaged them as he let Sami fuck his mouth, his tongue swirling around every bit of the erection it could touch.

“Kev, oh fuck, you're gonna make me-”

Kevin pushed Samis’ cock further into his mouth, and when his thighs gripped Kevins’ head, he grasped his cock with one hand, pumping it with the same rhythm his mouth was making. “Kev, fuck, please!”

Kevin pulled his mouth off Sami, spit threading from Samis’ cock to Kevins’ lips, Sami almost orgasming at the sight alone. “Kev, I need you.”

Kevin bit his bottom lip as he hovered over Sami, the desire shared between both of them. They could see the love the other had in their eyes, and it was clear to the two of them that this was It. Even before the first time, Sami had been head over heels for Kevin. There was always something between them, an invisible red string tying them to each other. The past three months had been hell on Earth, and now it was Heaven.

Kevin inched his face towards Samis’, and Sami sat up, meeting Kevin halfway. The kiss was soft, delicate like butterfly wings, but it soon became more intense — deeper, their tongues almost battling for dominance. Kevin reluctantly pulled away, but the whine that slipped Samis’ lips was worth it. Kevin smirked as he ran his thumb over the ginger man's bottom lip, before he dragged it over his chin and down to his neck, to his collarbone, flicking his nipple before he slipped the hand in between their legs.

Kevin wrapped his hand around his own cock, pumping a couple of times before he positioned himself at Samis’ entrance. He arched his eyebrow, and Sami nodded.

“I need you.” Sami repeated, and Kevin leaned down to kiss him once again as he slowly eased himself into Sami. The redhead was tight, and Kevin moaned, forcing himself to go slow, not to cause Sami even more pain than he might already be experiencing.

“Fuck, Sami, you feel so good around me.” Kevin groaned, making Sami pull the bigger man in by the neck for a kiss. As Sami eased into the motion, he raised his hips, finding a rhythm against Kevins’ own thrusts. Soon, their moans were in sync with their actions, their kiss slow as they rocked against each other.

“Kev…” Sami breathed, his head rolling backwards as Kevin peppered his throat with kisses. “I missed you so much.”

“Sami, oh fuck, I missed you too.” Kevin replied. “So. Fucking. Much.”

Sami groaned, his nails digging into Kevins’ shoulder blades as their thrusts became quicker. “Kev, please, I'm gonna-”

“Sami, oh, fuck. Come for me.” Kevin whispered against Samis’ neck, his hand grabbing Samis’ cock. Sami bucked and moaned loudly as he came undone, Kevin following after a few more thrusts as his name spilled from Sami.

Kevin pulled out and rolled off Sami as he wiped the curls from his forehead. Sami then turned to Kevin and pushed his head under his arm.

“So…” Sami said, closing his eyes as Kevin traced patterns on his bicep. “So,” Kevin repeated.

“Does this mean you changed your mind?” Sami asked quietly.

Sami felt Kevins’ chest rise and fall under him, and he braced himself for the reply. He had always thought he knew Kevin like the back of his hand, but he'd found out the hard way that he might not.

“I changed my mind when I was…you know, breaking it off.” Kevin confessed. “I didn't want to do it, I thought I needed to do it.”

Sami inhaled, and he put his on Kevins’ chest as he pushed himself up. “I understand, sort of.” Sami replied. “I wish you'd just talked to me, though.”

“I know, and I'm so fucking sorry, Sami.” Kevin said, resting his hand atop of Samis’.

“It's okay,” Sami nodded, squeezing his hand against Kevins as he laced their fingers together. “I forgive you, Mon Coeur.”

Sami touched his lips to Kevins softly, smiling at the way Kevin held Samis’ cheek. When he pulled away, Kevin pulled Sami in, their foreheads pressed together. “Je t'aime, Sami.”

Sami smiled and placed his head back on Kevins chest, closing his eyes. He was sure he could feel his heart repairing itself, and he knew that he and Kevin could get through this.

“Je t'aime, Kevin.”

[kentjohnson91]

Today we are going to discuss trades/slash free agency signings that have happened this offseason and how and why they made me upset:

Max Jones: Anaheim➡️Boston (free agency)

I love the chaos he ensued with Trevor and the other young guys

Was the first person to post about Jamie Drysdale being traded which was just a video of jamie dancing and smiling but then added like 10 thousand broken hearts

also as a bruins and red sox fan WHY ARE YOU GUYS NOT INCLUDING HIM

Zadorov and Lindholm threw out the first pitch at the Sox game the other night and Max and his wife (i think they’re married but maybe im wrong) were literally there but not invited to do that and also not sitting with the Lindholms and Zadorovs in the nice seats

It was not a numbers thing either because in like 2021 (?) they had like 7 new guys for the B’s on the field at 1 time

Nikita Zadorov: Vancouver➡️Boston (free agency)

As a Bruins fan SO EXCITED

As a fan of chaos i’m sad

Him and Myers reeking havoc on the ice together was so iconic for the short time we were blessed by it😔

Nick Blankenburg: Columbus➡️Nashville (free agency)

This was like one of very few moves i have not approved of by Mr Don Waddell

He was cooking from the start and then this happened

Like Ik he was probs gonna be in the AHL a lot but like for an undrafted defenseman he is good

He’s like 5’9” (more like 5’8 stop lying Nick) and runs around throwing hits on 6’3 or bigger guys

He’s my favorite little man and i want him back. He rounded out the Michigan group on Columbus too well.

Kevin Bahl: New Jersey➡️Calgary (trade)

Ik i say “im not a devils fan i just love him” about like half their team but like i swear its true

I need everyone to acknowledge the childhood friends to NHL teammates arc of him and the Hughes brothers and that is heartbreaking that it is no more

Also i understand it was an underpay for Markstrom but that will always happen for goalies (see Ullmark trade) so all the Devils fans acting like it was a good thing he was gone and not appreciating the time he put in there or the calgary fans mad they got him and hating him already made me wanna cry

Like GIVE HIM A CHANCE

also he just had a baby right before the trade and that means none of his NJD teammates get to see the baby and that will make me bawl (hehe bawl - bahl) like a baby no joke

John Marino: New Jersey➡️Utah (trade)

TOM FITZGERALD WHEN I GET YOU

This poor man who tends to look like a kicked puppy for no reason seemed so happy there

with Jack, Luke, Nico, Kevin, Curtis, Nate like cmon why would you do this to me

Will never cope with whatever the fuck was goin on with him and Luke honestly

WHY UTAH

Ryan McLeod: Edmonton➡️Buffalo (trade)

this was another one like the Kevin one where the fans pissed me off instantly

“the other guy was such a good prospect he was gonna develop more and play for buffalo”

i’m gonna hold your hand when i tell you that McLeod is 24 (almost 25) and 25 year olds can STILL DEVELOP TOO THIS SHIT SHOULD NOT BE NEWS HELLO???

also people who started using what his brother did as an excuse to not want him

while no one knows for sure, randomly assuming with no real reason that he had any knowledge of his brothers part in the 2018 Team Canada Scandal is so unfair honestly

and ALSO they separated him from his pookie (Bouchard) and his gay dads (Leon and Connor)

Not coping

Linus Ullmark: Boston➡️Ottawa (trade)

where do i even begin

no more hugs

no more feeding each other during post game interviews

no more eating cinnamon buns that Ullys wife made them together

no being Matt Poitras dads together

I ofc understand from the business side but it doesn’t make it hurt less

Jake Debrusk: Boston➡️Vancouver (free agency)

This one stung

we all knew it was coming but like

he’s been here his whole career

him and McAvoy were the ultimate duo

scored their first goals on the same night

if anyone saw Charlie McAvoys post about him and Grizz just know i cried for hours over that shit

Matt Grzelcyk: Boston➡️Pittsburgh (free agency)

another one that hurt a lot

once again see charlie mcavoys post

THE ONES OF THEM FROM COLLEGE TOGETHER

ENOUGH CHUCK

also no more amazing interviews with Mr Grzelcyk (Matt’s dad)

He worked in the Garden forever so Matt LITERALLY LEARNED TO SKATE THERE

HOMETOWN HERO AND A HALF

HEARTBROKEN

Anyways if i think of more im forgetting or something else happens before camp ill make another post but anyways

[serosbong]

random opinions of the choking scene no one asked for bc this isnt twt and i dont have a character limit…

i am so sorry i love andrew and neil but i just cant see Baltimore as something romantic… it breaks my heart bc i am a kevin day lover and thinking about it makes me so mad and frustrated… like kevin has been forced to be number two his whole life and then he gets his hand broken and escapes the nest and makes a deal with andrew, it is not the same it doesnt fill the void left but its a promise of protection, andrew never breaks a promise so he trusts it with his entire being. then some freshman mangages to pull the team together, get andrew to play, something kevin had been trying to do since he got there, and stand up to kevins abusers. kevin promised neil he will keep his secret bc he doesnt think telling andrew will change anything and what does he get in return for this ?! he gets betrayed, andrew does exactly what riko would have done and reacted violently. 5 other people have to pull andrews hands from around his throat… he should have seen it coming, the way andrew shifted from being his protecter to neils, but he trusted andrews promise and andrew broke it. he is then forced to reveal his father against his will, this causes the members of the team that already disliked him to be even more irritated and annoyed with him. at the end of the kings men they might have won, riko is dead but what does kevin have ?! he has no protector, he has grief for a man who was horrible, and he has exy. it is so clear that he cares about jean but jean resents him and thats ok but the sadness of the situation makes me sick… the way that kevin needed to escape but knew what would happen to jean when he did, the way jean knows he couldnt have stayed but hates that he left. it’s doomed and what does kevin do he does the same thing he did with andrew (keep his part of the deal) (giving him neil) he send jean somewhere he knows he can heal, somewhere where they are kind, where they can help him be free. he send him to his favoritr team. i just think about how kevin literally created the entire books plot and the entire series would not exist without him but what does he have other than a strained relationship with a man who didnt know he had a son, he has nothing and it makes me sick to my stomach…

sorry i am insane and needed to put all my thoughts about kevin day down here

also reading tsc made me think kevin is bi even more

[jtl-fics]

i like how you write ichirou in the math nerd au, do you have him in the andrew first one?

Only in the capacity that Andrew, through his memory, is kind of spectacularly wealthy and has bought out Neil, Kevin, and (after a lot of grumbling) Jean’s contracts with the understanding they become Andrew’s at the time of Kengo’s death but that they need to be maintained or Andrew will expect money back for damaged goods.

(Ichirou looks at Kevin with his broken hand, Jean with his dead eyes, and at the 5 million deficit for a boy who has evaded his father and his father’s most efficient cleaver for almost a decade and thinks he is getting start up money for three failed investments. Little does he know…)

Its the best protection Andrew can get them while Riko still has the audacity to be around solely to hurt them. Neil and Andrew died much younger in this story so they’re not quite as steady and also Neil didn’t develop his later in life quasi-friendship with Ichirou and definitely never got a look at the man’s books.

But he is fun to write across many of my AUs.

[knickknacksandallthat]

what did Jeremy say to the foxes and Wymack when he was guilt tripping them about not knowing how bad Kevin was doing? Neil said something about it in the second to last chapter

So my first thought was just to say it was something shamelessly guilt-inducing and brutally honest in the kindest way possible - you know, the Jeremy Knox way. But then I thought, nah. We can do better than that.

So here you go, anon. A little drabble I whipped up to give us that brief glimpse into the wonderful Jeremy Knox's mind.

Spoilers for the Dead of the Night fic under the cut. Read at your own risk!

Jeremy Knox is having a moment. 

It’s a convoluted moment, punctuated by jet lag, confusion, antagonism, and noise, but it’s a moment, nonetheless. 

Because at the core of all this chaos is Kevin. 

Kevin, who’s bruised everywhere Jeremy looks.  Kevin, who is now apparently living alone on an entirely different floor from the Foxes and didn’t tell them.  Kevin, who no one has seen since last Tuesday.

Kevin, whose gaze is far away, his spine curved, and his eyes shadowed.

Kevin, whose proud spirit seems nearly broken.

Guilt, shock, and shame wrap tightly around Jeremy’s throat as he stands in the PSU dorm doorway and sees just how much his friend is hurting.  He’s gutted by the realization that despite all their conversations, despite every single cry for help Kevin gave, none of them saw it.  None of them saw how much he needed it – and that includes Jean and Jeremy. 

The urge to rush forward and soothe, to make this better, to make this right, is nearly overwhelming.  It’s only due to the escalating conversation in the hallway (with the very real threat of violence) that he isn’t in there already. 

Because, unlike Jeremy, Jean holds nothing back.  No, Jeremy watches with unabashed pride and immense satisfaction as Jean reams out the group of Foxes before him.  His own anger is there, of course, simmering beneath the surface, but it doesn’t hold a candle to Jean’s passionate onslaught.

It had taken Jeremy months to get any kind of emotion to appear on the backliner’s face when he arrived at USC.  To see him now in all his righteous glory, spewing vitriol in defense of his friend, is nearly music to his ears. 

But although his boyfriend is 100% vindicated in his criticisms, Jeremy can tell this approach isn’t working.  No, the Foxes rise to the challenge with snarling repartee, too used to having to defend themselves.  Too used to always being the ones given the blame, whether they deserved it or not.  It shifts the focus of the conversation away from Kevin and back to themselves, which isn’t the point.

The point is that Kevin is the one who was hurt.  The point is that no one was able to recognize it.  And while Jeremy will give Jean and himself a small pass for being over 3,000 miles away, his teammates have been here all along.  They’ve seen Kevin every day. 

The point is this never should have happened.

So, he’s almost relieved when Jean goes to Kevin, cutting the conversation off at its knees.  Because it gives Jeremy an opening – and that slight pause is all he needs. 

In the silence that follows the crisp sound of the door slamming shut, Jeremy takes a deep breath and releases it on a sigh. 

Wymack takes the bait.  “Knox?  Got something to say?”

“Yeah, I guess I’m just…”  He deliberately pauses, then continues, “…I guess I’m just disappointed.” 

“Disappointed?” Aaron echoes.  Then he bristles and says, “Like we give a fuck how you feel!”

Jeremy nods.  “Yeah, no, I get it, but…if I’m disappointed, well…” He gives a disheartened shrug.  “…I can only imagine how Kevin must feel right now.”

He’s pleased to see three sets of shoulders immediately rise.

“Um,” Cross, the new freshman goalie, wrings her hands in front of her.

Matt winces.

“What do you mean?” Nicky asks, face dropping. 

“I don’t know,” Jeremy shrugs again, very coolly playing into the act.  “It’s just with everything Kevin has said about you guys I guess I thought you were closer, is all.”

“Closer,” Aaron repeats again, clearly skeptical.  “Meaning what?”

“Well, if you were closer, I would’ve thought you’d at least check in on him.”

This time he knows he hits a nerve.  The glare Neil gives Jeremy could probably melt ice. 

“We did check,” the redhead snaps.  “Andrew and I did.”

“Oh really?” Jeremy asks.  “When?”

The silence he gets in reply speaks volumes.

“Did he – was he like that when you two saw him?” Wymack asks now, doing some of Jeremy’s work for him. 

Neil’s jaw clenches.  “He didn’t let us inside.”

“And you just accepted that?” Nicky accuses.  “Seriously?  Both of you know how to pick locks!”

Andrew surprisingly speaks up.  “He did not want us to come in, so we didn’t.”

“And since when do you do what people want?” Aaron snarls. 

The heavy vibe that follows tells Jeremy that there’s some serious baggage between the twins.  He brushes the weird power dynamics aside, though, getting the focus of the conversation back on Kevin before it can derail.

“But he said he was sick, so…surely, as Captain, you came back, right Neil?  To check on him again? Kevin always says you take such great care of the team.”

Neil’s hand clenches into a fist at his side.  “I told him to text us.”

“Ah,” Jeremy nods.  “So, you probably thought that if not you, then perhaps he reached out to one of your teammates instead then, right?  That makes sense.  One of the Trojans always volunteers to check on any teammates who say they aren’t feeling well, just in case they need something.”  He spins back toward Aaron.  “Oh!  Maybe you brought him something instead?  Kevin said you’re studying to be a doctor.”

Aaron’s face pales before flushing red in anger.  He casts his gaze to the side. 

“No?  What about any of you?  Did anyone else think to see how he was doing?”

The other Foxes remain quiet.

Again, Jeremy heaves out a sigh.  “Look, I was always so impressed with how this team seemed to rally around one another, despite all the hardships and tough backgrounds you came from.  Kevin made it sound like you guys had almost become a family.”  He pauses then continues, “But family doesn’t leave each other on their own when the going gets tough.  Family sticks by each other, no matter how uncomfortable the situation gets.” 

He looks over at Neil.  “Kevin kept your secret and trained you every night, regardless of the fact that you both thought your time on the court was limited.  He wants you to be Court someday and knows you’ll get there.” 

He turns to Andrew.  “He still believes in you, no matter how much you ignore him and purposefully set him off.  He tells us all the time how he knows you’ll be one of the greatest goalies in the history of Exy.” 

He turns back to Aaron.  “Kevin stuck by you throughout the trial and never treated you differently, never shunned you or singled you out.  He even made public declarations of your innocence to the media and how he was just waiting for them to give you an innocent verdict.”

He turns back to the rest of them.  “My point is Kevin gives everything to this team.  Whether you like it or not, you know it’s true.  It’s what he’s been taught – to dedicate himself fully.  It’s the only way he knows how to be.  And however you guys react to that now has solidified the way he thinks he should be treated.  Because now is so much better than how he was treated at the Nest that of course whatever you guys say must be true.  Because he has nothing else to compare it with.”

He looks at the dorm door.  “Kevin gives 1000% to his team because he cares.”  He pauses, then turns back to face them.  “I guess I hope that next time, he finds a team who cares about him just as much.”

You could hear a pin drop in the silence that follows.  The Foxes stare back at him with faces that are sober, angry, and haunted.  He can actually see Nicky's eyes watering, though he has yet to shed a tear.

After a few more seconds of this, Aaron huffs and marches away.  Nicky follows him.

Slowly, with hunched shoulders and averted eyes, Matt and Robin follow.

Only Abby, Wymack, Neil, and Andrew remain, the latter two staring at Jeremy with an intensity that would be terrifying if he wasn’t still riding on the high of his anger.

Finally, Abby clears her throat.  “Do you and Jean have somewhere to stay?  You’re welcome to the guest room at my house if you need it.”

Jeremy shakes his head.  “Thank you for the offer, but we booked a hotel room off-campus before we got here.”

“You’ll be staying then?” Wymack asks gruffly.

“We have a bye week.”

Wymack grunts in acknowledgment.  “I’ll talk to Kevin’s professors.  Explain the situation.”

“Thank you,” Jeremy nods.  “I’m sure he’ll appreciate that.”

Wymack makes some kind of noise in the back of his throat that Jeremy assumes to be agreement.

He hesitates, wondering how far he should stick his nose into other people’s business before he thinks fuck it, and says, “And sir, you may be his Coach, but just remember you’re his father too.  I don’t think you realize how much your words affect him.”

Wymack straightens his spine and looks Jeremy in the eye.

Jeremy stares calmly back.

Then Wymack nods.  “Point taken, son.”

Jeremy dips his head in reply.

“But just you know, captain,” the coach continues, “The Foxes do care about Kevin.  Our way of showing it might not be what you’re used to, but we do care.”  He jerks his head toward the door.  “This one’s on us.  We won’t let it happen again.”

“You don’t have to tell me, sir,” Jeremy says solemnly.  “But Kevin deserves to know.”

Wymack nods. 

Jeremy pulls out his phone, but there’s no word from Jean.  It seems like it may be a while still before he gets Kevin calmed down. 

Jeremy bites his lip, then makes a decision.  “I’m going shopping,” he announces.  “To grab some things for Kevin.”

To his surprise, Neil immediately replies, “I’ll come with you.”

Jeremy looks at him.

“You don’t know what brands he’ll eat,” Neil says pointedly, eyes digging into Jeremy before he turns and starts walking down the hall.

Andrew immediately straightens and says, “I’m driving.”  The look he gives Jeremy dares him to argue.

Jeremy bites his lip hard against a smile.  “Sounds good.”

Then he follows the two deadliest Foxes down the hall and tries not to get too excited about going for his first spin in the infamous Maserati.

[dweepgwooves]

So, I wrote this a while ago...

But now I have a tumblr so I thought why not post it here? I will post half of the first chapter, so you decide if you like it or not. Also the first chapter is long af.

Backs bruised and fingers broken on AO3

“Nathaniel” was all he heard through the phone. He’d never held one before, let alone use it and it was odd he thought, that all the days events would lead up to this.

Nathaniel was alone in the nest, or as alone as one could be, with the security guards all over the nest and the rookies sleeping away in their rooms, but he considered himself alone. There was no master tonight, no Jean, no Kevin and certainly no Riko. He had considered himself lucky to be left alone for once, but now he wasn’t sure he was liking it at all.

The team was out, Christmas banquet on its full glory. He could almost imagine it, with all the stories Jean had whispered to him in the middle of the night. Riko and Kevin sitting all proper and nice in the middle of the table, taking all the attention sitting in their plastic chairs and in their black suits on. Talking bullshit about exy as if it wasn’t the vain of Nathaniel’s existence, their little tattoos shinning from their faces, thinking they were above everything else.

The day had started bad and somehow ended even worse, but now he was on his splendour, lying in bed with no one nagging at him. His sore muscles relaxed from the warm shower he’d taken and comfortably lying in his pyjamas. It couldn’t get any better. So of course, something had to go wrong.

“Nathaniel” he heard again. He’d never used a phone before, so when the thing had started ringing from the air vent in the bathroom he’d been scared to death. Jean had gotten the phone from a girl in his class that was way too interested in him having one. Nathaniel had stashed it away in the vent because they had nowhere else to hide it, their room was a big no, Riko almost always trashed their place in his fits of rage and there was nowhere outside to put it, so that little hole had been it.

He didn’t understand why they needed one, in fact they had no one to call, they had no contacts except from the girl, who Jean never called. Also there was no reason for it, in fact it gave the master and Riko another excuse to beat the living hell out of them.

Now he knew.

“What?” Nathaniel answered after a while.

“Nathaniel” jean said in a whispery hush.

“What Jean, what?” Nathaniel said exalted, this whole thing had him on edge. This was all unexpected and he didn’t know how he was supposed to react. Had something happened? Was Jean hurt? Why was he calling? How was he even calling? From where did he get a phone and why was he allowed to use it?

“Get up” said Jean. Nathaniel stood up from the little hole he had made in the bed.

“I’m up, now what happened?”

“it’s Kevin” Jean whispered, he sounded grim and Nathaniel swallowed the lump in his throat, there were so many possibilities, out of all the things Kevin could have done, what was it that prompted the call.

“What did he do?” and a thought struck. He said something about us. Nathaniel inhaled a shaky breath. But what had they done wrong?

“he” there was a pregnant pause where neither of them dared to speak “Riko broke Kevin’s hand” and so the dam broke, and the world seemed to stop because there was nothing that could have prepared him for that. A shudder passed through him as his head raced in thought.

Kevin, the prodigy son of exy, Kevin that only lived for and because of exy, Kevin the striker, the best striker there was got his hand broken. And it shouldn’t have been as surprising as it was. He should have at least expected it. The events of today had been out of the ordinary, they had been, in retrospective, detrimental. Today’s game had been a battle and at the same time a court, deciding which side was on the right. There had just been so much talk going around lately, inside and outside the nest. Forums, sports magazines and networks saying, repeating, what if? But inside the nest there was no what if, Riko was the best, he was number one and that was final. Riko was king. But talk still seemed to go around. And so, the match had happened, and it had been the end for all. There shouldn’t have been a match, and Kevin, he shouldn’t have won. But he had and he had played amazingly, he had ran across the court like his life depended on it, he’d made impossible goals and lit the whole court red. After that Riko had just left and everyone seemed to forget about it, but the air still held that tense quietness.

There was no chit chat, there was no feedback, even the master had stayed quiet. And that had been a sentence of it all. To whom, at the moment seemed unclear, but now it was obvious who would have to take the fall for the other one to rise.

“Nathaniel, you need to get out of there” but he couldn’t hear him, his ears still ringing from the news. Maybe the shock had passed but the grief was still there. It may have been the fact that perhaps deep down he still cared about Kevin, despite his reluctant persona to show it. Maybe he just cared about Kevin, maybe he cared about his Kevin, not the one who beat him in the court, not the one that looked down on him as he got cut up and looked happy about it. His Kevin, the innocent child who loved exy, that would play with him in his free time, the one that cared about him back. Maybe he still cared about Kevin, even when he wouldn’t admit it, not even to himself, it may be that that got his guts turning and bile crawling up his throat. perhaps it was the prospect that if Kevin got his hand broken there was no limit now, Riko was truly and fully unhinged.

“You need to get out of there” Jean said, but there was no response “Nathaniel- Nat” at that his head snapped and he took a deep breath, he couldn’t let himself go on that route yet, he couldn’t grieve what wasn’t his. Nathaniel wasn’t one of Kevin’s fans, the one who would give anything for him. He was his own person; he couldn’t let himself be beat down because of Kevin.

“yes” he responded.

“you’ve got to get out of there” jean said in a stern tone.

“What? Why?” asked Nathaniel, why would he get out of the nest, how was that even possible. He couldn’t even dream of it. His head was still turning, slowly trying to catch up to Jean’s words.

“I’m helping Kevin get out. I’m giving him to the foxes”

“What, Palmetto? You’re sending him to Wymack?” Nathaniel asked.

“What else am I supposed to do? At least Wymack cares about him” they both knew the explanation should be left unsaid. They both knew about the situation, they had been there to live it.

The morning Kevin walked through their door holding a piece of paper and crying had been a life changer, at least for Kevin. though they never spoke of it, it was a constant reminder that Kevin had someone out there who could love him, he could possibly have a home, a place he belonged to. But dreams were dreams, not realities. Word never got out about that letter, and they all knew it was for the best. Riko not knowing about Kevin’s dad, believing that Kevin was an orphan much like himself aided their relationship in a fucked up sort of way. They were equals, at least in family, both without parents, alienated, only to fend for themselves. It was good for Kevin too, all up until he found that letter, he’d thought he had a brother, no matter how cruel he was, having someone to be by your side, to not be alone. Kevin feared loneliness, even when everyone surrounded him.

That letter became a secret, a lethal one.

“Nat you need to leave, Riko’s going home soon and he’s feral” but wasn’t he always? Walking down the dark hallways of the nest, chest out and head high, as if he owned everything, as if he owned them. Even if in a way he did. between his father selling him off and the hits with racquets, the yells, the vowing down.

Riko was a wild card no matter how you looked at it, he was a monster born and raised. When riko would sneak into the room he shared with Jean, making him hold Nathaniel down as he cried, cutting slowly into his skin, yelling at him for whatever stupid remark Nathaniel had made in court, making his regret it. Nathaniel would scream until he had no voice, begging him to just stop.  Only to receive “Call me king and I’ll stop Nathaniel, just say it”. But he wouldn’t, blood clogging his throat, choking as he tried to swallow, because as much as he owned them, his father’s pain and his mother’s snarky tone were engraved in him and no amount of cuts could take it out of his blood. So Nathaniel would smirk and spit in his face only for the pain to start all over again.

“Jean, he’s always like that” Nathaniel said in a low voice. He didn’t want to be heard even when he knew that everyone was sleeping or too far way from the room to hear.

“You don’t understand, Nat. he’s about to lose Kevin. he already broke somebody’s nose. He’d fighting the master now” but there was no way, was it? To get out of this place, escape, finally. Flee the nest that was built like a fortress, his own personalized piece of hell.

“fuck” he whispered, and there was silence, because finally he was getting it. The call, the timing, everything. He wasn’t there but he understood the situation all too well.

“Jean I can’t” he whispered; his voice shaky. He wanted to, God, he wanted to so bad. But the logistics were impossible. The front doors were guarded apart from the police roaming campus. there was the whole Moriyama deal dangling above his head. He was merchandise, an object, a thing. He and Jean were not people, they were profit. And if they left- there was no chance he could ever leave.

“Get out of there. Just run” and now that the seed was planted, there was no going back. All he had to do was run, just like his mom had said years ago, just like he and Jean had dreamed millions of times when they shared a bed, when they were kids. Whispering in each other’s ears, afraid the master would brake into their room and drag them to the court. All he needed to do was pass those doors and make a run for it. It was a stupid idea, it was all stupid in general, he’d gotten the bad end of Riko’s wrath before, but it’d always been for petty things. Now though it was about to get him killed. But he decided that if he was going to die, he’d rather it be out of his own volition than because of Riko’s temper tantrum.

“But Jean, what bout you?” Nathaniel worried his split lip, biting at it and making it bleed. He looked around their room and took out his duffle bag. His eyes were watery, because he knew Jean, he was as much of a self-sacrificing idiot as he was. And he already knew what he was about to say.

“It doesn’t matter, you just- you need to leave” Jean said back.

“Jean, no, I can’t leave you” he pleaded, he knew there was nothing he could do, but he ought to try.

“don’t worry about me, you know he can’t do that much to me. It won’t be that bad” his voice was hurried and there were people talking in the background, the sound of a door opening and the turning of an engine.

“I can’s leave without you, Jean please” he felt weak at the knees. What about Jean? He couldn’t leave without him; he had been there since forever almost. Jean was a part of him now, he couldn’t just leave him behind, not to fall into Riko’s arms.

 “Jean” but he wasn’t listening. He heard him talking to someone else from his side of the phone. Then he heard a stutter in his breath and-

“Nat, you better not be there when I get to the nest” and he hung up. Nathaniel was on the ground; he didn’t know when he fell but there was no getting him back up. He was basically leaving Jean to die. How was that possible. How had it come to this? 

Jean’s voice hung to the air for a while as Nathaniel gave himself a second to miss him.

Then he stood up. There was no point in wallowing, he had something to do. So, he turned around and put as much shit as he could in his duffle bag and left.

There was no one to see him leave. 

The world outside the nest was something Nathaniel thought he would never get to see again. Not like this, not with his body filled with wounds and all alone. When he and Jean dreamt of running away, their backs bruised from the hits the master had given them and their faces smudged with ink from the numbers Riko had written in marker, cuddled up in one bed, trying and failing not to cry, they envisioned something that, looking back now, was impossible.

At first, they used to dream of their parents coming back for them, even when for Nathaniel it was impossible. Maybe Jean’s mother, taking a plane to America with his sister, sneaking into the nest, taking him from the Moriyamas and leaving. Being free and loved. Far away from what tormented them.

For Nathaniel it was a little bit more farfetched, even in their imaginary thinking.

“Maybe” he voiced to Jean. His hand clutching the others shirt. “Maybe she’s alive. I mean, think about it Jean, she had a whole plan. Maybe she got away and is with my uncle. Trying to get me back. Safe.”

“Perhaps” Jean had said. His face grim. He knew. They both knew it would never happen. But sometimes, when the Master was in his office, and Riko and Kevin in their room, they let themselves be kids for a moment. Let their imagination run wild, to imagine a world where they were both safe, and with their mothers. A moment where they could cry and hug without getting yelled at, without having to perform.

“I never saw her body, I- Jean, why didn’t I see her body?”

When they grew up, those dreams where gradually left behind. Someone saving them then became a plan in asking for help.

“we’ll get a phone and call the police; they’d have to do something right?” Jean’s accent was still heavy, the accentuation in weird places making his words sound funny.

“Mhh” Nathaniel’s face was turned towards the pillow, his hair covering his eyes, Jean knew they were closed. 

“Nathaniel”

“Mhhh” he moved his face. He had a black eye, just like Jean and a split lip, but somehow it just made his face look younger in comparison to Jean’s, in which the bruise made him look older, his eyes darker than they truly were, his features sharper.

It was easy to forget their own ages sometimes. When they were supposed to act like rookies, better than them even. But their own faces reminded them, looking in the mirror after practices, curating their wounds, just how small they actually were. 

“we’ll just run” Jean said and squished his hand.

“Yes Jean. We’ll run” and squished back

Going up the stairs to the roof had been easy, he had gotten the idea from one of the ravens. One of them had said something about an emergency exit, and Nathaniel had overheard because of course he had, he was nothing short of interested in all things related to the nest and its nooks.

Nathaniel didn’t know he had filed up that information until he had stood before the threshold of the Nest’s front doors, the ones that lead upstairs and then outside and thought to himself “there’s no way in hell I’m scaping through that”. Then an idea had come to mind. The roof. And of course, the roof it had been. After that it was just going up the stairs and crawling down from the emergency exit ladder. Easy. Maybe too much so.  It had thrown him off. He had expected something, anything at that point to chase him, grab him from the back, taken him to the master, even when he knew the master wasn’t even in the nest, beat him black and blue. It was confusing to think he had been trapped there for eight years, craving the outside, the sunlight, the fresh air. When he could just as easily gone up there had escaped.

“How?” he voiced to himself. How was it that easy?

As he stood in the side of the stadium for the first time in what felt like months Nathaniel felt the wind on his face and saw the sky. The sky, dark and beautiful. No stars were out but it didn’t matter. For years he had been in the nest, with the black walls and furniture and clothes and everything, everywhere he looked it felt oppressive, as if a hand were personally constricting his chest all the time, but here the dark sky gave a sense of infiniteness. He could go anywhere and be anyone as long as he was under the sky and not the punishing hand of Tetsuji and Riko.

If he was under this sky, he was free

Nathaniel ran, past campus, past the dorms and into the main street. He hadn’t seen it in years. There he stood, hand out and waiting, internally hoping, praying to anything beyond him that a car would pass and take pity upon him. But the night was cold, and few cars were out.

Obviously. he thought to himself, what idiot is outside late at night days before Christmas?

But after a while a car pulled up to the side of the road. Two girls were on it, and he guessed they were students at Evermore, with the hoodies they were wearing and the stickers in the car.

“Where can we take you cutie?” the girl in the passenger side spoke.

“Where can you get me?” Nathaniel answered. The girl driving smirked.

“Well, we’re going to the airport, down the highway. Maybe we can drop you on the bus station?”

“Yes, that’d do” he said and got in. Inside the car was warm, and filled with bags and suitcases, also the floor of the car was covered in what seemed to be blankets and jackets. He left his duffle on the floor and tried not to step on anything.

“Excuse the mess, we´re just going out of state, so obviously we’re taking lots of stuff” the blonde commented with a giggle. “Where are you going?” the driver asked.

“Out of state too” he responded with a shrug. In the background some pop song was playing, and both girls were bopping their heads along to the beat.

“well, we’re going to Ohio, I have family there so we thought why not spend Christmas at home?” as the blonde rambled Nathaniel tried to put a story together, something to not make him look suspicious, but also something that satisfied their curiosity enough to make them not ask too many questions.

“I’m going to Florida” the blonde turned on his seat and looked at him, wide eyed. “yeah I know a bit far” he said with a chuckle. Willing his body to relax and act more natural.

“Do you have family there?” the driver asked. She looked through at him through the rear-view mirror, an eyebrow cocked up. Nathaniel leaned against the door.

“Yes, some family is taking me in” he responded with a frown.

“Taking you in? oh honey what happened?” Internally though he was grinning from ear to ear.

So, the poor me angle actually works, huh?

Though he felt a little bit bad for lying to them, they seemed like nice people, picking him up from the side of the road and asking questions about his life, his safety came first, and honestly he couldn’t go around yelling to people at the top of his lungs that the mafia was after him. If the Moriyamas were to track him down and somehow get to the girls, it was better if they didn’t know anything. With the lie he was not only helping himself but them too. He felt a little better with that knowledge.

“Not much really, got kicked out. The usual”

“Aww, well I hope you get there safely” she answered at the same time the driver said “we’re here”

Nathaniel sighed. Finally, he thought. He had been anxious to get out of the car since he had gotten in. It felt as if they were going 5 mph and he needed to get as far as he could from the nest as soon as humanly possible.

Also, there were millions of questions running in his head and he couldn’t seem to get a possible answer to one before another slip into his mind. Had the ravens arrived already? Had Riko and the master noticed he had left? How was jean? had he gotten beaten? Had they sent people after him? And if yes, who’s? Riko’s or from the main family?

But he couldn’t focus on them. At least not yet, he had to get his shit together and keep himself focused. Get on a bus and out of the state. That simple, or at least he let himself believe that.

If you make it more complicated than it needs to be, you’re helping no one Nathaniel.

“Thank you for the ride. I owe you” Nathaniel said as he got out of the car. They were in the parking lot, a few feet from the entrance to the place.

Outside was freezing compared to the warmth of the car, and the wind was strong, blowing hair into his face and mouth as he tried to speak.

“Hey, kid” He turned around and the girl in the driver seat had her hand stretched out to outside the car, trying to give something to him.

“What?” he inched closer, and she thrusted the item at him.

“Take care, okay?” he nodded as they closed the window and smiled at him.

He looked. It was money. 20 bucks to be exact.

Lucky me

[kaianeedskafa]

an AFTG headcannon:

Dan makes the team take turns during workouts at the gym to put their liked songs on shuffled play for everyone so that they can share their music taste with the rest of the group. everyone agrees because it makes the entire thing far more interesting

so they go in team order

first it’s Dan who unsurprisingly hits shuffle to ‘What Does The Fox Say’ followed by ‘Bad Case of Loving You’ (which she danced with Matt to and is now one of her favourites) no one’s surprised by either song or the way Matt and Dan start shouting the lyrics.

then it’s Kevin’s turn. he hits shuffle to ‘Achilles Come Down’ and some Bastille like ‘Icarus’ and ‘Pompeii’ with a mix of ‘Greek God’ thrown in there too. being a history nerd it’s pretty much expected and no one blinks an eye just gets straight to work.

after that comes Andrew. so the whole group being snoopy as hell watches him unlock his phone to hit shuffle (his wallpapers are really cursed photos of neil and the cats, blurred and everything) and what comes on is Katy Perry’s ‘Hot and Cold’. he sets his phone down, it blasts through the speakers, he picks up his jump rope and starts working out, everyone’s staring, Neil’s looking at his phone trying to determine if it’s broken. after the song’s over Taylor Swift appears and Andrew’s mouthing along every line. they’re all shocked.

Matt unsurprisingly has a mixture of guilty-pleasure rap and rock music and some low vibe tunes. ‘Chill’ comes on and everyone’s enjoying themselves and then a complete opposite genre hits and you have Panic! At The Disco’s ‘House of Memories’ blaring and everyone’s scrambling at the phone to turn it the hell down. Then it’s ‘Beggin’’ and everyone’s rocking out to the classic and in general they find Matt’s taste pretty chill.

so then it’s Aaron’s turn. Aaron somehow has the gayest taste because half his songs are Troye Sivan and the other half are genuinely good also. but everyone’s caught off guard as Wannabe by Spice Girls comes on. Aaron’s eyes go wide in panic, he leaps for his phone. Nicky snatches it and Aaron chases him around the room as it plays shouting protests no one believes that Katelyn added it not him.

Seth (rip but we’ll include him) is completely unsurprising. half his songs are rock, the other half are EDM, all of them are men swearing into the microphone for half an hour, all of his liked songs are labelled E for explicit. they listen to ‘YEAH RIGHT’ and ‘Parents’ and other shit that Andrew completely vibes with too but refuses to say and they have a pretty good time swearing their lungs out over the lyrics.

so Allison’s next. she follows her boyfriend up with a bunch of songs about how girls don’t need men or money, her songs are either pretty empowering or downright popular girl taste. they hear a range from ‘Cheap Thrills’, ‘Scars To Your Beautiful’ and ‘Bang Bang’ all in the 20 minutes they’re listening for.

after that comes Nicky. somehow his taste is less gay than Aaron yet he has a bunch of girly-pop songs and viral tiktok sounds and shit and everyone recognises each one in a heartbeat (except neil who’s oblivious as the day is long). you’ll hear ‘24K Magic’, ‘Youngblood’ and even ‘Slow Hands’ (which Aaron mimes puking to).

Renee is completely emo, half of them expected it, half of them are shocked. She’s got Lorde and Lana Del Ray on repeat, she plays ‘Royals’ and then ‘Get Stupid’ by bülow and everyone understands her better after the half hour is over.

then very lastly is Neil’s turn. most of its a bunch of old songs his mother would play (definitely a lot of Pink Floyd, The Beatles and Queen) and then the other half are just outright concerning. you have ‘Suicide’ by Issac Dunbar, ‘I Wanna Get Better’ by the Bleachers, ‘Sick Boy’ and so on and everyone’s completely worried for him by the end. Dan asks if he’s alright and Matt hugs him, Neil looks at them confused and over to Andrew who just shrugs.

overall it’s very successful, because they’re only mocking each other’s taste half the time and normally it’s arguing for three quarters of it over the music, so all in all more working out is done :)

[capcavan]

AFTG tfc ch2 Re Read by cavan

Chapter 2 notes under the cut

back to learning English

It was the weight of his teammate's stare that brought Neil's gaze almost right to him the minyard stare <3 "the normal one"

bro i would end my career there if they all refereed to me as basic bitch Milport Dingo damn they all like their animals don't they "the all black assemble aarondrew wore did nothing to make him taller" damn neil had no idea you are fashionista about what colour pronounce what silhouette types anyone marked that down? Brakes screeched as taxi slammed to a stop inches from aarondrew's pint sized body Kevin had been glued to Andrew's side since the transfer- ofc he is they are dating even if Andrew did not got the memo, one sided Anvin is my jam

I'm sure i am not the first person to point this out but the way neil already ships it has me Both of Kevins husbands share the fact that they told him to fuck off I don't believe in forgivness Do you belive in fate Do you belive in luck do you read tarot Aarondrew minyard chapter 2 Aarondrew is such not careful asshole driver i demand you all to start writing him getting into traffic accidents what the fuck, literary the only reason he is avoiding any right nos is him being in very noticeable nice black car nobody wants to risk damaging "It's too nice of a car to wreck" "Don't be so afraid to die" You are playing for class 1 team (worst one but still!) with Kevin on your side , People are always willing to bleed for him, you've seen the news i have seen it ok.. what was on the news ??? Kevin day and his adoptive brother Riko Moriyama , ok second time <3 <3 <3 kind of off they keep having to refer to this as adoptive brother lmao marking this once would be enough considering they are different ethnicities

ok but kevin had his hand broken what was riko doing? why did he missed game in january ???? in ec its supposedly mentioned testuji beat him up love that :) nicky has jet black hair and brown eyes and darker skin tone ... jet black .. hair ... literary never seen anyone draw him this way nicky deserved so much better "i am hella materialistic" who tf introduces themselves this way neil noting that he cant escape by jumping out of the window makes me wonder how this series would go if the fox dorm wasn't so high up? woudl they get attacked by the mob throwing rocks and other shit into their dorm ? woudl neil escape dorm through windows ?

Neil examining aarons package yeah its not the cigarettes you are after i know it wymacks apartment -covered in paperwork -empty coffe mugs -overfilled ashtrays neil has this thing going on where he can taste blood when stressed i shall remember that nicky stealing painkillers I wonder if andrew just ... casually helps stealing whiskey for kevin on regural ,, i hate coming home and finding you in my apartment" i would too if i lived in such mess "i don't need to be persuasive you just learn to do what i say" sorry my kness are weak

[nullcanary]

songfic tag game!

Thank you @lamortwrites for the tag!

tagging: @fenharael @wraith-caller @no-braincells-inc @nnairdav if you feel like playing! If you want to join in, go ahead and tag me :)

Pick a song to accompany each of your fics or as many as you like. This might be the fic's inspiration or just pure vibes that you'd like to share with readers. Tag as many people as fics you feature (or do as you please!)

took me a moment to get to this, but it's been on my mind since you tagged me! while I've only publically posted one of my fics, I've still got several in my WIPs folder that I'm polishing up to post one of these days. I love finding a new song, listening to it on repeat, and diving into an hours long writing spiral.

The Night House (bg3, gortash/durge, explicit, dominate person/throat fingering/blood pacts, m/m, 4.9k)

title: Paranoic Intervals/Body Dysmorphia by Of Montreal

Counting wolves in your paranoiac intervals

Nobody's leaving, nobody is off the beat

You shouldn't try to unpeel my Pavlovian bells

You should be fucking with no one else

Anyone but me is an antipathy

Anyone but me is just your enemy

Only I see you the way you want to see yourself

You should be fucking with no one else

[bonus song]

title: Up To No Good by The Hoosiers

Don't get too comfortable with the man who has no history

Shadows climbing walls hide cracks we don't want other eyes to see

You tell me to shut my mouth, you love the mystery

So he tells you love you now?

Driving you crazy how

Fingers on lips, allow his hands on your hips

You know you shouldn't do this

But there's no turning back

Doctor's Orders (dos2, loshe/doctor|adramahlihk, explicit, possession/masturbation, m/f, 1.9k)

title: Mx. Sinister by I DON'T KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME

Oh you never seem to notice

That my heart beats for you

So I'll open you up

And make yours beat for me too

And I'll get you yet

I've got to make you mine

Worst Impressions (elden ring, varré/tarnished, explicit, gore/torture/drugging, m/f, 2.8k)

title: Flip by Glass Animals

Here's to the one with the smoking stare

Running through my head with a bolo knife

Chopping up the threads made up from looms

Of love and blood and hate and some empty tunes

Mechanics of Affection (bg3, dark urge/gortash look-a-like, explicit, vivisection/masturbation/crisis of faith, m/f, 2.5k)

title: Mongrel Heart by Broken Bells

Would it be wrong

To clamp down on your racing heart, Love?

And if they'd known, what sifted down to be found out?

It's not what you deserve

Love is turning you out

Sliding worry round

I try to warn its waiting game

To bring that specter down

Letter to an Old Friend (bg3, gortash/durge, angst/reunions/memory loss, 1.5k)

title: The Opposite of Loneliness by foyer

I can tell you all the ways that it goes wrong

I can fill you in on everything since you've been gone

Hold your shadow next to mine the shape that you outgrew.

Bootlicker (bg3, tav/gortash, explicit, bootlicking/desk sex/dubcon, m/f, 3.6k)

title: Hatefuck by The Bravery

What would they say now if they saw you in this place?

Naked and breathless, could you live with this disgrace?

Could you live? Could you live? Could you live with this?

And there will be no tenderness, no tenderness

When the Coat Drops (bg3, gortash/durge, angst/loss/emotional breakdowns, 2.9k)

title: Through Me (The Flood) by Hozier

The unemployment of the mouth

The waking up, having forgotten

And remembering again the full extent

Of what forever is

With each grave

I think of loss and I can only think of you

I couldn't measure it

The Black Hound (bg3, gortash/durge, explicit, a/b/o, knotting/praise kink, m/m, 3.5k)

[ this song is so goddamn hot and I will apply it to every ship forever until the end of time end tweet]

title: Fever Moon by Kevin Devine

You're quick sand

And every morning say I won't get stuck again

I work and fight but just sink deeper in the end

But by nightfall baby here I always am

I tie myself in knots

You come and shake me loose

I'm bound up in you

We push til you're through

Lit up with the proof

[berksozeri]

❝ streetlights peeking through heavy fog, pre-dawn hours at the lake, worn leather, the crunch of leaves underneath scuffed boots, broken glass, frozen clocks, dog treat crumbs in every pocket, the mournful wail of winter wind scraping through bare branched trees, calloused hands raked through disheveled hair, night after night without sleep, jazz records lowly playing in the background, whiskey neat, “it’s really not you, it’s me.”

BIOGRAPHY | CONNECTIONS | PINTEREST

NAME: Berk Sözeri

PREFERRED NAME/NICKNAME(S): Dependent on the person

AGE: Thirty-six

BIRTHDAY: October 29th, 1987

ZODIAC: Scorpio

RESIDENTIAL AREA: Downtown

OCCUPATION: Full time employee at Take it Outdoors, formerly with the BRPD.

LENGTH OF TIME IN TOWN: 5 years

basics.

BIRTHPLACE: Lake Charles, Louisiana

HOMETOWN: Lake Charles, Louisiana

GENDER IDENTIFICATION: Cis man (he/him)

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Heterosexual, heteroromantic

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Single

POSITIVE TRAITS: tbd

NEGATIVE TRAITS: tbd

family.

MOTHER: Gamze Sözeri

FATHER: Umut Sözeri

SIBLINGS: Fraternal twin sister, Deniz (deceased)

OTHER: a flat coated retriever named Kevin

tldr (but still long af as per usual).

TW: infertility, robbery, gun violence, death/homicide

Originally from Istanbul, Berk’s parents immigrated to the United States in their early twenties and settled in the Lake Charles area of Louisiana. After enduring years of infertility and and facing the likelihood of never getting pregnant on their own, they managed to conceive Berk and his twin sister, Deniz, via IVF. 

Already on a tight budget, the procedure (and the two unsuccessful attempts that came before it) took every last penny of their savings and a second mortgage on their home, but Gamze and Umut never once regretted the sacrifices made to have their little family. They let their kids know how wanted and loved they were every single day.

It’s safe to say they were (and still are) two of his biggest role models. Berk contributes every decent part of himself to their influence. Well, that, and the responsibility learned through the role he took upon himself as his “little” sister’s protector. 

Berk and Deniz were the best of friends all through childhood, adolescence, and beyond. Coming from a low income family who celebrated different beliefs wasn’t always easy, but no matter what life threw at them they had each other. 

So it came as no surprise that he decided to follow his sister to Baton Rouge after high school when she enrolled at LSU. Unlike Deniz, he had no ambitions of going the college route, so while she balanced class schedules and waitressing shifts he spent six months in the police academy.

It was during her junior year, when he was well into his job as a rookie cop, that changed everything. Having gotten caught up in a meeting with the Chief, Berk was late picking his sister up from her shift at the restaurant. And when Deniz decided to walk a few blocks to the closest halal grocer to grab stuff for dinner and kill time, she had no idea of the nightmare waiting for her just beyond its doors.

Berk was on the phone with his sister when the shots rang out. When he realized she’d just stumbled upon a robbery in progress and got caught in the culprit’s crosshairs. Despite all his efforts at the scene, and those of the first responders, Deniz passed shortly after arriving at the hospital.

From that point forward he was a man possessed. His sole mission? Catching the guy responsible for it all. They had a name via prints left behind at the register, and they had CCTV footage of a face, but Amos Leferve somehow managed to evade every effort to get him behind bars. 

Everybody knew Berk wasn’t handling his sister’s death well, or the fact that her killer seemingly vanished into thin air, but he refuted most attempts of help in favor of taking it upon himself to do what the department apparently couldn’t. 

After years of following lead after dead end lead across the country in pursuit of Amos, it was eventually the abuse of official resources that left Berk without a job.

Cast adrift, he packed his bags and made one last attempt at hunting down their suspect. He set out for Colorado, following the last APB to come across his desk of a man matching Amos’ description.

Ultimately his search came up empty (again), and that was the point Berk resolved himself (very bitterly) to the fact that he’d likely never get his hands on the man responsible for taking his sister. Rather than return home he settled in Providence Peak, desperate to escape the ghosts of Louisiana.

It’s been five years since he moved to town, and rather than the odd jobs he initially started with he finally has a full time job working at Take it Outdoors, but otherwise little has changed. Berk still lives in the somewhat derelict loft he first ever rented Downtown, and he;s still haunted every day by Deniz’s absence, his guilt, and the fact that Amos got away.

headcanons.

Berk has had a long string of relationships leading nowhere, many of which he feels wholly indifferent about, but his most recent failed attempt at least left him the sole owner of a gorgeous flat coated retriever, Kevin.

Growing up Berk was fairly devout, as he was raised to be, but ever since Deniz passed away he’s fallen somewhat out of touch with his faith. He still eats a mostly halal diet, but doesn’t shy from alcohol in the least, and it’s a hit or a miss whether or not he observes the holidays unless he’s on a visit home to see his parents. 

These days he likes animals more than most people, but the few close friends he has made since moving to town mean more to him than he likely lets on. 

Is a secret Bachelor stan, even if he thinks the entire franchise has become total garbage and has a personal “no thanks” stance on finding a long term partner himself. 

Can knit. Will confirm. 

One of his favorite pastimes has become taking one of the kayaks out into the lake. There’s a peace to be found in that particular solitude that he rarely experiences elsewhere. Kevin may or may not be a willing participant in these endeavors. 

Could be called an adrenaline junkie? Yes. 

Due to what happened all those years ago (being late to pick her up, too late to save her) he’s developed a quirky obsession with time. He’s constantly checking the clocks around him to confirm they’re set to the correct time and gets antsy when they’re so much as even a minute off. Will 1000% point it out until you do something about it if said clock belongs to you. 

Has also developed a hobby of collecting old timepieces. When his anxiety is bad, his mood is foul, or he needs to mentally work something out he’ll get lost for a few hours taking them apart and putting them back together. 

Despite every insistence that he’s let go of his vendetta, Berk has a secret murder board in his loft composed of everything he’s ever learned about Amos because maybe he ain’t quite as over his Vigilante Shit as he claims. 

Will strip for homemade cookies. I mean. Not really, but I figured if you made it this far you deserved the pure TREAT that is that mental image 😘

[sleepy-achilles]

Hbtaker- You came..

This sound sexual, it's not. It's based off the tik tok trend, you came. You called.

----

Shawn didn't know what to do. He had a whole country against him and not a single soul to back him up. Well, he had chyna and the kliq but vince had stole chyna and hunter off him for some reason. Shawn felt like he couldn't breathe. The moment he stepped out of the hotel he was attacked verbally and had rubbish thrown at him. The moment he stepped into the arena he had people shoving past him and giving him dirty looks and comments.

He knew he could call Kevin or Scott, that they'd come and get him in a heartbeat. But his pride didn't let him. It let him call taker though. Even if he hung up the moment taker answered. He didn't need to drag taker down with him. He's done enough damage to that man, and taker had his own issues at the moment, he didn't need shawns aswell.

Shawns head jolts up as the door opens. "You came" Shawn breathes out. Taker examines the blonde before closing the door. "You called." Taker states as he begins to move forward. He doesn't get far before shawn is jumping up and running towards him. Taker huffs as shawn hugs him. The blonde tries hiding in takers chest. Takers sure that if shawn could, he'd try hiding inside the bigger man were no one can find him. "Its alright kid." Taker mutters wrapping his arms around the blonde. "I messed up so bad" Shawn whimpers as he begins to cry. "You did your job. You did it so no one else would have to. Never forget that" Taker corrects. Shawn just stays against the bigger man, swearing he can hear a heartbeat in the cold chest.

----2008-----

Shawn wasn't young anymore. He wasn't the old him full of toxic demons. So why did the atmosphere backstage feel like he was? Hunter tried telling him its just the shock of things. And hell, he thought that too until someone pushed past him and told him to watch it. "Fuck" Shawn whispers staring at his phone. Its sat on the phone log. Maybe he was still 30 something. He called taker out of instinct before hanging up after taker spoke his name. It was stupid. They are married. He should just tell taker he's lost in his own head.

Shawn slowly looks up at the door. A sudden wave of deja vu flooding him as he senses the bigger man. The door opens. "You came" Shawn teases. "You called" Taker replies with a smile on his face. This time Shawn doesn't get up. He's sporting broken ribs and his knee is killing him. Taker knows this, so he walks over and sits next to him. "You doing alright?" Taker asks. "It feels like the 90s again" Shawn admits. "Deja vu. I got it the moment you hung up on me." Taker huffs. "Guess I need to stop ending careers." Shawn mutters. Taker slips his hand into shawns. "Goldberg technically ended brets career, not you darlin" Taker corrects. "Still. I ended Steve's. I ended rics. People never hated me for Steve's tho.." Shawn mutters. "Thats because everyone watched you get screwed over. If dave never got involved Steve would probably still be causing me headaches. You did me a real favour, did I ever thank you?" Taker asks. Shawn smiles slightly and turns to the bigger man. "Nope. That was the night you got buried alive." Shawn informs him.

Taker makes a small o with his mouth which causes Shawn to giggle. "Well, I'm here now. No more death and no more separation" Taker promises. Shawn smiles slightly. "You did a good thing last night. Saved us all another fatal accident in the ring." Taker mutters. "God, shoot me if I ever end up like him." Shawn groans. Taker chuckles and carefully pulls Shawn into his lap. "Lets make a deal if we are still at this at 60 to put each other out of our misery" Taker offers his pinky. "What are we? Children?" Shawn asks. "Well how els-" taker gets cut off by a kiss. "Can't break those promises." Shawn whispers. Taker just smiles and carefully pulls Shawn into a hug.

"No we cannot."

[iviarellereads]

Nona the Ninth, Chapter 18

(Curious what I'm doing here? Read this post! For detail on The Locked Tomb coverage and the index, read this one! Like what you see? Send me a Ko-Fi.)

(Eighth House icon)(1) In which someone realizes she was very, very wrong about something.

When Nona and Hot Sauce get upstairs, Cam is unplugging equipment and stacking chairs, and the Angel is writing on the board, doing inventory in case they get looted so the kids' things won't be disturbed too badly. She asks Hot Sauce to turn off the generator and bleed it afterward, and for Nona to stay behind.

As Nona approaches the Angel, Cam does so as well, only she trips and stumbles into the Angel, groping the woman in her attempts to right herself.(2) The Angel asks if she can ask Nona a question, and Cam says alright, but Nona doesn't have to answer. Nona says she'll try, but she couldn't read the map.

Instead the Angel shows Nona's drawing again, and asks how she drew it. Nona doesn't know how to respond, and says, with her hand?

The Angel urged tersely, “Did you get this from a picture?” Nona looked down at the animal she had drawn, and thought perhaps she understood. She said, “No, I made it up. It does work, I promise. See these things? They’re its ears,” she said, in much the same tones as she would have explained to Kevin. “This thing is its nose, and you can’t see it because I didn’t draw it, but the mouth is under here. When first it was born it used to live in a river, but then it got cold so it had to get large. I know the legs can’t rotate, but you don’t think that’s stupid, do you?”(3) She looked up at Camilla and the Angel, then said, “Am I in trouble?”

The Angel talks to Cam, despite Nona being right there, and says she did her veterinary training in a political firebrand phase, and at a school with archaeology and special zoology classes. Cam admits she's never seen the animal before. The Angel says she wouldn't have. It's a "cradle creature."(4) Cam says she's heard the phrase before, and the Angel seems skeptical.

There's a long silence as they try to figure out what to say next, all three. Then, Cam asks if she can ask a question, taking the sunglasses off. The Angel consents, and Pal asks if the Angel ever received medical care from a necromancer, ever might have even if she didn't know for sure, did she ever receive an implant?

Nona is shocked, as Pal has just broken about fifty home-rules. But the Angel suddenly looks stricken, older, withered. Pal says he doesn't mean any harm, but Noodle interrupts, growling at Pal's ankles. The Angel puts Noodle in the kitchen with a toy, and returns slightly recovered. The lights go out, Hot Sauce must have finished with the generator, and the Angel asks if Nona would like to sit with Noodle, she can even listen from the door. Nona asks to stay, please.

The Angel tells Pal how the other teacher thought Cam was a prostitute. Pal says what he knows about sex work could fit in a teaspoon with room left, and the children call her the Angel. The Angel knows, though it's a very strange interpretation of her nickname.

Pal asks what the implant is. The Angel says not to come closer, she'll jump out the window if she has to, and her body is designed to deny a necromancer any answers.(5) Pal says he's not her enemy, but she says he became her enemy in the last five minutes when he used necromancy on her, and he can be nothing but a Lyctor. Pal swears he's not a Lyctor, on the life of Camilla Hect. The Angel searches his face, and seems to find what she wants to see.

She slumped back in the chair with her chin sagging to her chest, and she glanced at Palamedes, drawn and gaunt and complete. “Then that’ll make this easier,” she said. The door next to the corridor opened. The Angel flinched so hard that it looked as though she might be having a fit. Nona turned her head and saw Hot Sauce. Hot Sauce looked at the open curtains: she looked at Nona. Then a huge, rippling sound entered Nona’s head. She was aware of a tight, hard noise, pop—pop, distant and then much much closer—as though her whole head was exploding. Everything went black, but she wasn’t asleep. She had the biggest and most frantic headache and she was terrified, her body wasn’t working, she could feel nothing and perceive nothing. The headache got worse and worse and worse, then suddenly it stopped, and she didn’t know anything at all.

All sense of time leaves Nona for a while, and then the headache comes back, and gets better. Her senses come back, and her mouth is "full of something disgusting and sticky."

An unfamiliar voice argues on a radio over the order, and then argues with the Angel over what to do with Nona's body. The Angel is furious nobody told her who Nona was, and the unfamiliar voice is worried about how bad they've just fucked up, even though they agree with the result.(6) Still, there are perhaps ten or eleven people outside ready to shoot and trying to get in. Nona hears a loud noise, as furniture being dragged across a floor for a barricade, and feels a pressure in her head which gets worse, then better, then her vision starts to come back.

The unfamiliar voice says they're going to behead "these two", and for the Angel not to watch. The Angel says that's just a superstition, and the voice says "Yeah, well, Aunty always told me it was ninety percent superstition and ten percent for the fun of it." Big feet stomp over to Nona, and she can no longer play dead. She sits up, and feels another pop in her chest, then shrieks that they shot her again, that's twice! The Angel says to stop, she's obviously still alive, and starts apologizing to Nona.

Nona gets free of the Angel's grasp, and looks for Cam, finding her very still on the floor, laying faceup, covered in blood, hands clasped to her chest. Nona opens Cam's eyelids, and Cam says alright, it's fine, time to get up. When she opens her hand, there are two bullets in it.

Nona looked up. There was the Angel, sitting on the floor, looking as though she had seen two ghosts. Near her was the new person—a compact, medium-sized person with a machete strapped to each thigh and a small, heavy gun in their hands, not wearing an air mask, not wearing a hat. A mask hung around their neck as though they’d been in a hurry and hadn’t pulled it up yet. Their face would have been fierce and handsome if it hadn’t been puckered with shrapnel scars on both cheeks, across the nose that should’ve been flattish but had been broken once, in a peppery storm of burns at one temple. These scars meant they weren’t fierce and handsome; they were super-cool and fierce and handsome. Their hair had been buzzed short on one side and kept longer on the other, the long part dyed a shriekingly electric blue, and their brows were dark and their eyes were darker, smudged with camouflage makeup above and beneath. And Nona had known who they were the moment their body moved, but the machetes helped. It was Our Lady of the Passion, for the first time unmasked. “Pash shot us!” she wailed. “And my teacher! Palamedes was talking to the Angel and someone shot us through the window and now the carpet’s gross! This is the worst day of school ever!”

Cam asks if it was Pash, but Pash says they didn't shoot, and how do Nona and Cam know they're Pash, did Crown tell?

“No,” said Camilla, who had relaxed her left hand minutely. “Why weren’t we told she was one of us?” “That’s they to you,”(7) Pash said, “and you’re not one of us either, zombie.”

Pash says it was Merv Wing who shot, and who was ready to move on the Angel the other day when Nona made the radio call to Crown. Nona says it was a fake radio call. The Angel is baffled that the Crown she met was the Crown that Pash has been going on about, and asks what Nona is. Pash says Nona is the Lyctor project, and the Angel has just called the wipe protocol on her.

The Angel said, “Give me the radio.” Pash unbuckled a real wireless radio from her belt and tossed it to the Angel, who caught it neatly, even though her hands were still shaking. She tapped something into it and held it up to her ear and said, “This is the Messenger.(8) Holding pattern downstairs, please.” Then: “Yes, we know,” and “Yes, we know. These are unusual circumstances.” Then: “Yes, but if you’re so hot on protocol, why aren’t you letting our designated lifeguard extract us from the building?” Then: “That’s ridiculous.”

Cam moves some chairs into the doorway to the cloakroom, as the Angel demands to speak to the commander, is obviously denied, and says anyone who comes upstairs will be shot and anyone who shoots besides the lifeguard will be before a tribunal along with Hope.(9) She signs off, and cusses.

Pash turns over a desk and hops behind it, the Angel joining her. Cam asks how many, and Pash says ten, and what kind of weapons they have, then blusters that Cam's in for it now, no Crown to save her either. Cam asks if Pash wants her help getting out. Pash says she doesn't need Cam's help, at the same time the Angel agrees to it, and admits she made the order for Cam to be shot. Cam says she can let out some deferred aggression after. Pash accuses Cam of withholding info from We Suffer, but Cam says they've both been lying to each other then. The Angel asks Nona to go into the kitchen for her own safety, but Nona doesn't want to leave Cam.

Suddenly, Nona realizes the building is much too quiet for ten people to be raiding them. She looks down the hall and asks where Hot Sauce is. The Angel says Pash locked her in the generator room. Nona wants to see her, but the Angel says Hot Sauce saw Nona get shot and didn't react well. She can't quite explain this before a distant sound of glass breaking rings.

Pash and Cam banter about defences, and Nona thinks about how lovely Pash is. Pash sees Nona making googly eyes at her, and pulls up her mask and lowers her goggles so Nona can't see her.(10) Another smash, and Pash observes they're taking the stairs. Cam relaxes and asks Nona if she still wants to stay. Nona decides Hot Sauce might need her, and begs Cam to stay safe. Cam says it won't take long, and smiles at Nona before telling her to go.

Nona scrambles down the hall and to the generator room. She unlocks the door and finds Hot Sauce laying down, having been sick.(11) Nona starts wiping down Hot Sauce's face as Hot Sauce asks if she made it up, over and over. Nona explains what's going on, and Hot Sauce trembles. Nona notices a gun stuck down Hot Sauce's waistband and tells her not to carry it like that, Pyrrha says people who do that shoot their balls off and it sounds very rude but she believes her. Hot Sauce says Nona's sweet.

Hot Sauce asks again if she made it up, and Nona asks what she thinks she made up. Hot Sauce says, that a bullet got Nona in the head and made a hole. Nona tries desperately to lie, but doesn't feel successful and does feel exhausted by the effort.

Some loud noises outside, and Nona clings to Hot Sauce, who eventually clings right back, and Nona knows Hot Sauce will be alright now. They give each other scared comfort until the noises stop. Hot Sauce almost seems to have fallen asleep, but when there's a knock at the door, she rolls away and pulls the gun smoothly. It's just the Angel, though, not limping or anything, come to get them to leave. Nona asks how Cam and Pash are, and the Angel says they're fine. Nona asks if the classroom is "munted"(12) and the Angel lists the damages, but says it could be worse.

They go out to the classroom, where Nona hugs Cam tightly, listening to her heart for a long moment.

Nona notices that Hot Sauce is in the corner where Nona got shot, and looking strange. Hot Sauce feels Nona's pulse in her throat, and Nona puts her whole will into making that pulse strong. Hot Sauce acknowledges that Nona is alive… but she saw some of Nona's brains come out. The Angel suggests Hot Sauce come talk to her, but Hot Sauce tells her to shut up suddenly, shocking Nona that she'd talk to her deity that way.

Before she could get any more shocked though, Hot Sauce raised her other hand, and the gun with it. She pressed the muzzle up against one of Nona’s temples. Nona dragged her eyes up to Hot Sauce’s face, stunned. “You’re out of the gang,” said Hot Sauce, and squeezed the trigger.(13)

=====

(1) That's an odd icon to see here, too. "Eight for salvation, no matter the cost" perhaps? (2) Initially I expected this to be an instance of surreptitious pickpocketing or somesuch, or perhaps the switch point between Cam and Pal. Mind, it could be all of the above plus the necromantic delve to find the implant. (3) Debate rages on as to what animal Nona drew. I'm in team elephant because… (see 4) (4) I think this could be an explicit reference to Lois Lowry's The Giver. There are no animals in the world of the Giver, but children are given a stuffed toy each, known as a comfort object, only nobody believes they were ever real, nobody even stops to question whether they could have been. (The Giver is a really deep book considering it's often read in grade school curricula, and the series it spawned goes some truly wild places.) In the book, the comfort object Jonas's younger sister has is an elephant, and it's the one he learns was real and comments on afterward. Whether that part is intentional or not, "cradle creature" also refers to the cradle of civilization, which is to say, Earth. It's definitely an original animal, one we'd recognize. (5) How can that be? What could it mean? (6) Sorry about the whole "thinking Nona is actually dead" thing, though, cause I found this very relatable. "I'm glad this happened but I absolutely dread having to explain how." (7) Again with the third-person neutral pronoun for the Angel. Or is that the plural? Would be fascinated to see how a translation into a language that distinguishes these cases handles this line… (8) So the Angel is the Messenger, that's a valid translation surely. Only, remember what Pash keeps calling her? Aim. As in AIM, as in AOL Instant Messenger. She's another reference name artifact. (9) Unjust Hope, the leader of one of the other BOE factions in opposition to We Suffer's. (10) Nona loves everyone. She thinks everyone's beautiful. I bet that can be really uncomfortable when you aren't used to that sort of attention, even if it isn't coming from someone you've been raised from birth to hate and fear on principle. (11) Watching your friend's head explode from bullets will do that. (12) Munted is NZ slang for destroyed, ruined, that sort of vibe. (13) Not twice in one day, and once by her dearest friend besides.

[rickygoldman34]

Thats right its The Golden Blog with a brand new look,brand new graphics and brand new way of doing things. I also have a co-writer who will be joining me from now on. This will now simply be good and bad points.

So starting with the women's Royal Rumble match.

👍Good points:

The lasers give it that big time feel and the info on screen graphics are a nice touch.

Its great to see Naomi back.

Bayley got a huge ovation.

Great to see Jordynne Grace in WWE they also acknowledged the fact she beat Naomi in TNA.

Im guessing Tegan Nox eliminating Natalya leads to a match between the 2 so if this means a push for Tegan then im all for it.

A good pop for Zelina Vega.

I liked how they made Nia Jax look like a threat.

Alba Fyre got a good reaction.

R-Truth as funny as always thinking he was in this.

Jade Cargill has made her debut and got a huge pop.

Tiffany Stratton certainly impressed here.

Good to see Liv Morgan back.

Bayley winning. She more than deserves it.

👎Bad points:

Candice Lerae hardly got any reaction,neither did Indi Hartwell same goes for Ivy Nile and Kitanna Chance.

Bianca Bel Air almost slipping on the top rope as she jumped over it.

Kari Sane,Tegan Nox,Kayden Carter,Chelsea Green,Piper Niven,Xia Li,Maxxine Dupri,Shotzi,Shayna Baszler,Valhalla,Michin,Zoey Stark,Roxanne Perez also with zero reaction.

No Sasha Banks.

Undisputed WWE universal championship fatal four way match.

👍Good points:

Roman Reigns entrance looked awesome.

I love they addressed fans complaining online that Roman only defends the title every few months.

This certainly went the distance.

All 4 men looked good here.

A great sequence of events that lead to the finish.

👎Bad points:

This shouldn't have gone on 2nd.

The Slim Jim commercial during the entrances.

Solo Sikoas interference wasn't needed i feel.

Us Championship match.

👍Good points:

Logan Paul targeting Kevin Owens broken hand.

Logan Paul just seems to get better and better.

A great finish,a most certainly stacks heat onto Logan.

👎Bad points:

Logans freind Jeff really didn't need to get involved here.

Mens Royal Rumble match.

👍Good points:

Having Jey and Jimmy Uso start this was very smart.

Grayson Waller came out to no reaction but quickly got heat on the mic.

Great to see Andrade back.

Carmelo Hayes got a good pop.

Many boos for Dominick Mysterio,what a heel.

Good pop for Bobby Lashley,also Kofi Kingston.

Good to see Bron Breakker in the match and damn was he impressive.

A great surprise Pat McAfee entering the rumble.

A big pop for R-Truth,he wanted a hot tag to enter the match,so funny.

Huge pop for Cm Punk.

Good ovations for Drew McIntyre and Sami Zayn.

👎Bad points:

Little reaction for Shinsuke Nakamura,Santos Escobar,Karrion Kross,Austin Theory,Finn Balor,Bronson Reed,Gunther,Ivar,Omos,Jd McDonough,The Miz,Damien Preist and Ricochet.

They popped for Ludwig Kaiser but booed him when they saw who it was.

Cody Rhodes had to do his full entrance like a goof ball.

No Rock.

Cody Rhodes winning,Cm Punk losing.

Royal Rumble 2024 notes

1. Nia Jax had the most eliminations in the Womens Royal Rumble match with 8 (Ivy Nile, Kitana Chance, Piper Nevin, Xia Lee, Shotzi, Shayna, Valhalla and Michin)

2. Bayley won the Womens Rumble but had the 2nd most eliminations with 7 (Candice LeRae, Indy Hartwell, Tegan Nox, Maxine Dupree, Bianca Bel Air, Tiffany Straton and Liv Morgan)

3. Bayley is the 2nd woman to win the Women’s Rumble at number 3 after Bianca Bel Air

4. Valhalla ties with Chelsea Green for shortest time in the Womens Rumble with 5 seconds.

5. Cody Rhodes and Bron Breakker tied the mens Rumble with the most eliminations of 4. Cody (Austin Theory, Shinsuke Nakamura, Gunther, CM Punk). Bron Breaker (Ivar, Omos, Finn Balor and Jimmy Uso)

6. Gunther came 2nd with the most eliminations in the men’s Rumble with 3 (Jey Uso, Kofi Kingston and The Miz)

7. Bron Breakker replaced Brock Lesnar following his name being mentioned in the Vince McMahon sex traffic scandal.

8. Cody Rhodes is the only man to win the men’s Rumble at 15.

9. Bayley lasted the longest in the Womens Rumble with 1:03:03, Namoi came 2nd with 1:02:18

10. Jey Uso lasted the longest in the men’s Rumble with 50:55, Cody Rhodes who won the Rumble came 2nd with 43:21

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