#its just so slow and moody and beautiful

[exsqueezememacaroni]

.

[gummi-ships]

Kingdom Hearts - Hollow Bastion

[icyg4l]

PAC: What Do You Need to Let Go Of?

Hello beautiful people! Today is Saturday aka Saturn Day. In honor of Saturn Day, the day associated with banishment, protection and responsibility. Today is the day we let go of what no longer serves us; the day where we can no longer ignore what sits heavy on our spirits. So without further ado, please choose your Saturn.

**If you really loved this topic then you should book a reading with me, please read my guidelines and then message me privately! Also, if you had received a reading from me, don’t be afraid to leave a little feedback! Please and thank you in advance. 🫶🫶🫶

Top Left-to-Bottom Right: (1-6)

PILE ONE: “No More Mr. Nice Guy” is what I heard. I feel like you tend to have a lot of love & compassion for people. This doesn’t necessarily translate over to the other person/people though. You need to stop being so nice, Pile One. I think you have a lot of growing up to do. There is good and bad in everyone but what really matters is how this person makes you feel. Stop caring about the feelings of other people if you aren’t going to take yourself into consideration. This is why you always get taken advantage of. It’s okay to be a moody bitch sometimes. Having a sunny disposition 24/7 just isn’t realistic. Don’t act naive when you know the truth about certain situations. Move intentionally and with wisdom. If you don’t think they won’t do that, think again.

Cards Used: The Star, King of Cups, 7 of Cups, The Fool, The Moon, The Tower, Judgment.

PILE TWO: The movie Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind may resonate with you. I feel like you need to let go of your ex, seriously. You don’t have to forget about them but you do need to move past this person. They have caused much turmoil in your life, especially when it comes to your mental health. They could have indirectly negatively affected your finances as well. But there is someone else who is on the horizon. They want you to see the bigger picture. They want to show you better. If you have been writing notes about what you would like to see in your future partner, expect for these qualities to show up in someone that will soon approach you. They have a beautiful, colorful aura and they will let you shine. Your ex fucked you up bad but you can recover from this. Don’t be afraid to see what love has in store for you, my love.

Cards Used: King of Cups, The Magician, 2 of Cups (RX), The Star, The High Priestess, 5 of Wands, Judgment, Strength, The Fool.

PILE THREE: You’re a Virgo/Sagittarius, aren’t you? You don’t have to know and control everything, honey. Let go of the need to be involved in everything. You have been neglecting your soul’s needs. You have a lot of potential to grow but you don’t know how to accept help nor do you allow yourself to just be. You’re so uptight and burnt out right now. It would benefit you to just walk away from stress-inducing situations. If you know you can’t take that extra shift at work, why even bother? Who are you trying to please? You are making it hard for yourself to maneuver through this world peacefully because you do not know how to enjoy what’s in front of you. If only you could see the beauty of your labor. Slow down. Why are you going so hard for? You’re so used to making things happen that you get frustrated when things don’t work out your way. A word of advice: Please just allow time to do its thing. Don’t work against it.

Cards Used: The Sun (RX), Ace of Cups, Strength, 2 of Discs (RX), King of Wands, 7 of Wands (RX), 3 of Discs, 10 of Swords, The Magician, The Hierophant.

PILE FOUR: Christmastime must be your favorite time of the year, huh? I feel like you could also have a strong connection to Mariah Carey as well. Her book is on my mind heavy as I’m reading for you. I feel like you are so used to dysfunctional relationships. You have the tendency to move fast with people. I’m going to hold your hand when I say this, they ain’t going nowhere! Let go of your lovebombing tendencies and show up as your real self. I don’t think you see this as that but it is. You don’t seem to be big on communication. I don’t think you had the best role models for any kind of relationship so you just do what you know. But this does not translate well with other people, which results in chaos. Unpack why you interact with others the way that you do. You too, have a lot of growing up to do, my friend.

Cards Used: Knight of Wands, King of Swords, Queen of Cups (RX), Four of Wands (RX), Ace of Wands (RX), The High Priestess, 8 of Wands, 3 of Cups.

PILE FIVE: “Shut up and dance.” No seriously, shut up and dance. I feel like you are someone that refuses to be seen dancing in public or just in general. There is no need to feel like that. Let go of your shyness, babe. I feel like you actually have good dance moves, you just don’t want to be seen for some reason. Dancing will help you get more comfortable in the spotlight. You have gotten too comfortable in your little bubble. The next time someone asks you to dance, accept the offer (especially if it’s zydeco, salsa or kompa 🙈). You’re never too cute to dance, pookie.

Cards Used: The Hermit, Knight of Discs, The Chariot, 6 of Wands, The Empress, King of Discs (RX).

PILE SIX: Why are you wasting your time arguing with everyone? You need to master the art of preserving your energy. Let go of the need to prove yourself/defend yourself to other people. You exist just like everyone else on this planet but somehow you always end up in a verbal altercation. Is it worth it? I’m sure there’s plenty of alternative options you could choose. Just walking away could do you some good. You are the type of person to catch someone in a lie. Instead of cursing them out, you could just laugh in their face or block them. You could channel this energy into something else. It is normal to experience anger. But just know that you could always get in trouble if you never control it properly. Get a handle on your emotions. Be more logical & cutthroat. I think you definitely could benefit from taking the high road. Your soul is tired. Give it up, babe.

Cards Used: Knight of Swords, Queen of Swords, The Lovers, 8 of Cups, Ace of Swords, The Hermit, Justice, The Moon, The Star.

[short-honey-badger]

Peppermint Tea 16- Lavender 1

Alright, guys. I really hope you enjoy how I've gone about introducing Shanks to the reader. I'm not looking to complicate anything. I just want to have fun, and my two handsome boys deserve it.

Pairings. Reader x Shanks, Reader x Dracule Mihawk

Warnings! None. Shanks is flirty. Mihawk is only mentioned for now.

Masterlist

Shanks doesn’t expect to see an island this far out of the way of everything. It’s unnervingly close to the calm belt, and the Yonko probably would have never found it if he and his crew hadn’t been on a three-day bender after a successful raid on the last island. Maybe it was a little irresponsible of him and his crew, but sometimes he just liked to see where the Grand Line would take them. This tiny island was new, so that obviously meant that he and his crew should check it out. 

Lucky Roux drops the anchor, and Shanks flashes to shore with his first and second mates. The island is on the smaller side, though a small mountain range rises in the west. The jungle is thick, and Shanks can hear all manner of wildlife within. The sands of the long beach they’ve landed on are beautiful and inviting, prompting a big grin to stretch over the redhead's face, “Get the booze, Benn. I think this will be the perfect place.” 

The older man scoffs at his captain, but he has already turned around to begin shouting orders to the men. Shanks and Yasopp step further into the island, and that’s when the Yonko spots a small footpath that leads into the jungle. He nods his head to the path, and Yasopp unhooks his pistoles from his belt. 

The two men follow the footpath for a while. It winds through the thick foliage until it empties out into a clearing. The sight isn’t something either man is expecting.

A cottage sits innocently in the middle of the clearing. Several sea glass wind chimes hang from the front stoop, and the tinkling melody is pleasant on his ears. Three chickens are clucking around, and even a moody-looking goat glares at them from its pen. A massive garden sits on the left side of the building, and Shanks can see smoke rising from the chimney. Yasopp gives his captain a look, only to jerk back around when they hear the door of the cottage swing open. 

Shanks can hear music playing loudly from inside, a slow, bluesy tune that has his browns rising. No wonder whoever lived here had not heard the commotion he and his men made. A massive furry, grey mutt comes running out of the house, going straight after the chickens and sending the hens flying into the air. The rooster crows and chases after the dog, sending the mutt careening backward to run the other way. Last but not least, Shanks watches a young woman step out of the house. 

His heart speeds up when he sees her. She is stunning, the sunlight bouncing off her hair and making her glow in the morning light. She is dressed in tight leggings and a loose but thick-looking sweater poncho, and Shanks wonders why the young woman would want to dress that way in such warm weather. He dismisses the thought and starts walking forward, a grin on his face as he opens his mouth to shout a greeting. 

“Hello! We didn’t know that this island had already belonged to someone. We saw the foot trails at the beach and wanted to investigate.”

Shanks watches as you freeze in place, and his eyes widen just a tad when he sees snow flurries scatter around you. Huh, a devil fruit user all the way out here. He plasters an easy smile on his face and saunters forward only to stop when he catches the glare on the young woman’s face. He raised his hand in the air to show that he meant no harm.  

“We didn’t mean to frighten you! I just wanted to see if it would be okay if my crew and I could crash here for a little while. Can I come closer to introduce myself and my friend here?”

The shaggy mutt seems to answer for you as he bounds forward and slams into Shanks. He grunts and keeps his footing, bending down to pet the dog, “You sure got a friendly mutt!” 

You grimace as you watch your fool of a dog run right up to the red-haired stranger. You stomp forward, annoyed at having your day ruined by some unknown captain and his crew, but at least he was being friendly. You examine the man when you get close enough, taking in his beach bum outfit and shaggy red hair. His face is scruffy with unruly facial hair, and he has three scars over his left eye. When the wind blows, his cloak opens enough that you get a peek at the empty space on his left side. The way he held himself reminded you interestingly enough of Mihawk. Maybe that’s why you decided to humor the pirate. 

“His name is Hank. How um. How long would you and your crew want to stay here?” You ask him as you come to a stop a safe distance away. The last people to come to your island had been the pirates that Mihawk had taken care of, so it unnerved you to have someone else show up. 

Shanks shrugs, “For as long as you tolerate us,” he says with a handsome grin. You fight down the way your cheeks heat up when he directs that look right at you. He stands and offers you his hand, “I’m Shanks, and that’s my second mate, Yasopp.” 

You reach to shake his hand, and a feeling of Deja vu settles over you when he lifts your hand to place a kiss on your knuckles. Shanks winks at you, lips curling in a teasing smirk when you jerk your hand away from him. Quietly, you offer your name and give a small smile to Yasopp.

Shanks repeats your name slowly, tasting each syllable as he watches you step away. Your goat has escaped its pen and now stands at your side, beady eyes seeming to stare into his soul. You drop your hand on top of its head and scratch at where the horns grow out of its head, “Oh, this is Neal. He isn’t very fond of men, so you may want to steer clear of him.” 

“I’ll take your word for it,” Shanks snickers and waves Yasopp away, “Go on back to the ship. Tell the others that we are guests here.” 

The dark-skinned man grinned and gave a quick salute and a goodbye to you before he loped off back through the jungle.

Now alone, Shanks shifts his weight and gives you an assessing look, “So. What’s a beautiful girl like you doing all alone on an island so close to the Calm Belt?” 

You lick your lips, filing the new bit of information away for later. Dracule had yet to tell you where your island was located. You had stopped asking a long time ago for maps and topography graphs, especially after Mihawk had told you about the more dangerous places and players inside the Grand Line. You were happy on your island, but that didn’t mean that you didn’t want to know where you were. 

But now that you thought about it, you were 80% sure that the man in front of you was one of the few people that Dracule had warned you about. Red Haired Shanks, Captain of the Red Force, and one of the four Emporers of the Sea. 

“I live here, have my whole life,” you tell him and settle for being vague. If Dracule told you to be wary, then be wary you would be.

Shanks makes a huh sound in the back of his throat, “Really? Seems pretty lonely out here,” He comments, and you shrug as an answer, “Will you show me around? You’ve got a lovely home.” 

You can’t help but burn in pride at his comment. You are very fond of your home and all the work you’ve put into it, so you don’t think twice when you nod and begin to lead the captain to your home. Shanks follows with a smug grin, eyes flickering over your shapely legs as he follows you. 

You don’t take him inside yet. Instead, you point out the gardens and flower beds that line your home and show him the view from the cliff behind the cottage. Neal had thankfully wandered back into his pen, but Hank seemed to have taken a liking to Shanks, for the big lug had yet to leave the pirate's side. You shoot him a look. Traitor. 

Surprisingly, the redhead makes good conversation after getting over the awkwardness of the sudden visitation, and you find yourself relaxing in his presence. He seemed genuine in his goodwill and cheer, and his lax behavior had you smiling and inviting him inside. 

“Would you like some tea?” You ask after a moment of comfortable silence. Shanks easily agrees, and you lead him inside your home. Neal bleats and tries to bite Shanks when he passes the pen, and the redhead shoots the goat a glare. 

You snicker at the sight and go about the kitchen to make your guest some tea. You avoid the peppermint, which is meant specifically for Mihawk, and instead settle on a strong lavender tea. You mix in sugar for both mugs and then hand it off to Shanks. 

Shanks sips, humming at the taste and finding it not bad. He wasn’t usually a tea person, but he could be polite. He looks around your home, taking in the hanging herbs and the strings of peppers that crisscross by your windows. Your home looks straight out of a storybook, and the homey atmosphere has him sighing deeply, shoulders loose and relaxed. Shanks doesn’t remember the last time he felt like this in someone else’s presence. He takes another sip of the sweet-tasting drink and casts his eyes to the opening of the living room, and his gaze promptly zeros in on a familiar-looking coat. 

It's a long coat, dark and made out of fine leather with intricate patterns sewn into the arms and along the sides. The inside is a deep dead, and Shanks knows in that instant that this is the young woman that his friend had spoken of all those months ago. No, he corrects, it’s been close to a year since the last time the two men had spoken. Two emotions war inside of him at once. Elation that this is the woman who had caught Mihawk's attention and pure green envy that the other man had found you first. 

Shanks keeps his face clear of anything that might give him away and then knocks back his tea, placing it in the sink to be washed at a later time. You eye his sudden movements, and Shanks responds with an easy grin and a hand extended out to you. The pirate wouldn’t dare try and steal you away from his friend, but there was nothing wrong with the two of you getting to know one another in his eyes. 

“Come meet my crew?” The redhead offers quietly. There is pressure in the air as if taking Shanks’ hand would open a new chapter in your life. You debate for a long time, looking up and catching his dark gaze. His eyes are like melted chocolate, so soft and inviting, and so much different from the only other man you know. 

What would Mihawk think of you out there on the beach, mingling with a dangerous pirate crew? You knew who this man was and knew some of the rumors about him from Mihawk and Perona. But then you think, harder, and know that Dracule would never begrudge you having fun. He actively encouraged it whenever you became playful, though it was usually Perona that he would send after you. 

You lick your lips and make a decision, reaching out to take Shanks’ hand. 

“Okay. Just for a bit, though.”

Shanks grins like a hyena and wraps his fingers tight around your hand, “Sure thing, baby. Let’s go.”

The pirate captain tugs you out of your kitchen and then out of your home entirely, leading you down the path and to the beach so quickly that you don’t have the time to examine the new pet name or how it makes you feel. The redhead leads you to where his crew has already laid out cases of booze and food. Shanks grins at you and tugs you close, flurries exploding around the two of you when you fall into his side. He enjoys the wide-eyed look that you shoot him and then turns you towards his crew.  

“Guys,” Shanks announces and winks, sending your cheeks up in flames, “this is,_, our host!”  

 @writingmysanity @kenkenmaaa @foggyturtleknightangel @browneyedhufflepuff @goth-mami-writer @myradiaz @fluffybunnyu @bookandstar

[thebestofoneshots]

Gilded Constellations | wolfstar x reader

Series Masterlist | The Interlude | Previous episode

Pairing: Wolfstar x Reader Word Count: 6.3 K Warnings: None Prompt: New Friends, new adventures to come and one Halloween Party to prepare. This IS a wolfstar x reader fic, but it's incredibly slow burn. They won't start all dating each other until we're very deep into the story, but I promise the long wait will be worth it.

Chapter 16: Boogie Wonderland

The next day, you charmed your restricted section book cover, just like you had done with the spicy one, making it look like another casual spell book. You then spend most of your classes devouring its content, it was way more than the two pages you’d found on the 5th-year DADA book, although a good deal of them focused solely on how to defeat a werewolf. 

Tips on how to kill werewolves, spells against werewolves, weapons against werewolves, a particular line irked you so much –if you see a werewolf hex to kill, don’t bother incapacitating– that you were about to throw the book on the ground and cast incendio on it. But it wasn’t until about the second half of the book that it finally started to talk about its qualities. Especially with the section titled “How to spot werewolves in your daily life”. Of course, while most of the things in the book were about spotting and hurting them, you were more focused on learning which things you should never do. 

On a small piece of parchment, you started documenting everything that you had learned so far. You’d even use a codeword to refer to Remus, in case your note was misplaced or lost. 

My Knowledge on WW:

Silver burns them (throw away or alter the ring mom gave me once Puppy returns it).

Silver and Dittany could save someone after being lethally bitten by a werewolf, turning them into one regardless. 

Bites are contagious only if the werewolf bites someone in werewolf form, not outside of it (Luna could bite whoever he wants without turning them, as long as they’re in human form, maybe they’d get a bit of a raw meat affection for a couple of days, but nothing more). Why is this relevant to me?

Werewolves do not remember who they are once transformed. They can be very aggressive, and they have killed friends and loved ones in wolf form; they will remember what they did once they’re back in human form. If Luna turns into werewolf form and you’re around, turn the fuck away.

Any bite or scratch obtained from a werewolf, whether in human or animal form, would leave a permanent scar. (Luna probably has a bite mark somewhere. I wonder where?) 

Werewolves rarely have children. If a werewolf has a child with another werewolf while in wolf form, they’d have a normal wolf, except they’d be beautiful and nearly as smart as a human. 

Werewolves don’t really attack animals, they seem to target exclusively Humans. 

There’s little to no medicine developed to help treat werewolves. -> Racist wizards going at it again.

They can be a little aggressive, touchy or moody as the full moon approaches. 

They have a crazy good sense of smell (even in human form apparently; maybe I’ll get to ask Luna about it someday)

THEY AREN’T ALL EVIL. 

You read through your list a couple of times, wondering if you’d missed anything from the book. But you were certain you had narrowed down the most important clues the book had. There was a section of the book that had a couple of spells to defend yourself from werewolves, but they were all incredibly aggressive attack spells, most of them to severely damage or kill the werewolf, when you finished reading you ripped the page from the book, threw it on the floor and whispered “incendio,” contemplating how the fire slowly consumed the old piece of paper. You might have not been able to burn down the entire book, but that was pleasing enough. And you had to get rid of it before anyone read through it and tried to use it on Remus, or any other good werewolves. Because no matter how many times the book tried to frame Werewolves as being inhumane, and immoral beasts, incapable of feeling remorse, you knew it was all bullshit. 

Remus was kind, gentle, and incredibly caring, he’d been the first one to approach you when you were feeling off after divinations, he’d shared chocolate with you when you were injured, he’d held you when a quaffle had been thrown your way, and he’d even taken you to his quiet spot when he thought it might help you feel better. Remus had, even in the short time you’d met him, always been there for you, and you wanted to be at least half as good of a friend as he’d been. Remus was nothing like the harrowing picture the book painted of werewolves. And while you were sure actual evil werewolves existed, you’d heard of them in the news, with wolves like Fenrir Greyback and its followers, you also knew there were evil and good wizards. It wasn’t a matter of what you were, but a matter of who you were. You’d know, your mom had told you about the hard times her mother had had with her being half fairy, the Wizarding Community just wasn’t very accepting of diversity. 

As you walked back from the courtyard where you were reading, book back in your backpack and parchment gently tucked in the book you had in your hands, you accidentally bumped into someone, and whoever you bumped into had been walking with so much force, the books you were holding fell to the ground. The boy –a Ravenclaw you hadn’t met– leaned down and helped you pick your stuff. But the page on your book had slipped and fell a little further from your grasp, he walked towards it before you even had the chance to react, and he eyed it as you gulped. Thank Merlin you’d used codenames.

“You’re into werewolves too?” He asked. 

You frowned, thinking of a quick excuse, say it was an assignment, say it’s homework, a part of you said. On 6th year? about werewolves? who would ever believe it?, responded the other. But there was something about the question that caught your attention then, “What did you say, sorry?” 

The boy turned to you, “Oh- um… I asked if you were also into werewolves…” he said, as he handed the parchment over to you. There it was: also into them. 

“Uh… yeah, I’ve been doing some research.” 

He nodded, and motioned to the paper, still in your hands “Who’s Luna?” 

You were caught off guard again “It’s a… character, from a story.” You said, making it up on the spot “I’m writing it, the story… I’m writing the story.” How on earth did I become such a shitty liar?

“Oh, that’s amazing! I’m actually really interested in them as well.” 

“You are?” 

He nodded “Yeah, I’ve been working with Professor Slughorn to develop a potion.” 

“To make them human again?” You asked with a frown. 

He shook his head “It’s… That’s impossible… But Slughorn and I think It’s possible to create one that will allow them to remember who they are while in wolf form, to reduce the risk of attacking humans.” 

“What really? That’s brilliant! I’d love to help you!” You said, almost a little too excitedly, so you cleared your throat  “I mean, it would be a really good way of getting knowledge for my story…” 

“Really?” He asked, with a smile “You’re (Y/N), right? New transfer student? Gryffindor’s new keeper?” 

You nodded “I’m afraid I don’t know your name…” 

He extended his hand, and you shook it “Damocles Belby, most people just call me Kless, I’m from 7th…” he seemed to think about the next thing before deciding to ask “Are you really as brave as they say?” 

“They say I’m brave?!” You asked, in disbelief. 

He nodded “You stood up against some nasty Slytherins in class, and they say you fly like a daredevil, or so I’ve heard…” 

“Well, I –gossip sure travels fast here– Why?” 

“I’m more of a books and potions kind of person, you see…” he started, moving one of his arms up to the back of his head, to scratch it, it looked like Kless wasn’t too eager to ask for this particular favour  “…but I really want to test out the effect of Moonflower on the potion, see if it helps. The issue is, and you might not know this but Moonflower–“ 

“–only blooms in full moon.” You finished. 

He exhaled, “Yeah, and I’ve been told that there is a chance to find them in the forbidden forest.” 

“You want me to get it for you, don’t you?” 

He nodded, “Only if it wasn’t too much trouble. And if you helped with it, I could finish the first draft of the potion in a couple of weeks and we could probably test it together, and if the position works, I could get a brilliant recommendation letter from Slughorn to study at Cauldronwell, the School of Advanced Potionry. Maybe we could even get one for you.” 

You took a deep breath, considering the situation, the forbidden forest must be forbidden for a reason, and the boys had warned you about it too. Eventually, you spoke again “If I do this, will you let me have some of the potion?” 

He looked at you, as if thinking about it, probably wondering if he should ask why you’d need the potion, but in the end, he only nodded “Deal.” 

You smiled at that, pleased with the answer he’d given you, “Pleasure to meet you Kless, I’ll see you around.” You said before waving at him and resuming your way to the common room since you’d be helping Remus and Sirius finish up the decorations for the party. But just before turning on the corner you turned your head towards him again “I’ll find you when I get it.” 

He nodded, “I’ll send you a copy of my research through owl mail.” He responded. 

Sirius and Remus were already in the common room when you arrived, you smiled and took the book with the parchment, grabbing the piece of paper and hiding it deep within one of the pockets of your backpack. While you were busy, still packing stuff inside your bag, you felt Sirius’s arms wrap around you as he hugged you from behind. He placed a quick kiss on your cheek before pulling away again, grabbing a piece of candy from the bowl next to your bag on the table and popping it into his mouth. “What were you up to?” He asked, noting you were late. 

“Sorry, got really caught up in this book.” You told him with an apologetic smile as if Sirius could actually be angry at you. You then looked around, the boys had already gotten a head start. James, who was supposed to help, was still locked up in his room, adding some final details to his Hamlet costume while Peter was in the kitchens, making sure the treats were ready for the party. 

“Marlene’s gone to get a fog potion,” Remus said, as he grabbed onto a piece of cloth neatly folded on the table, “Beth and Tom went to Hogsmeade to buy some last-minute treats.” 

You paid close attention as he started to unfold the cloth “Is that the banner Lily made?” You asked, walking closer to him, Sirius was looking at you with a smile as you moved towards his friend. 

Remus nodded and said a quick “Yeah.” Handing a corner of the cloth over, so you could help him, the two of you extended the banner together, finally opening it up. The Banner was long and, it was black with orange letters over it, and it had two Jack-o-lanterns on each side that screamed “Happy Halloween” when you looked directly at them. 

“It’s brilliant!” You said with a smile, as you helped Remus levitate it closer to the ceiling near the entrance. Sirius was busy placing the jack-o-lanterns you had carved during the week all over the common room. Once the banner was hung, you walked towards the table and pulled out a bag you’d left there a couple of classes ago. 

“What’s that?” Sirius asked, walking closer to you again, shoulders brushing against yours. You smirked, and took a skull from the inside, throwing it towards Sirius, he easily caught it and looked at it, before turning back to you. 

“You thought it would scar–“ he started, but then, out of nowhere, the skull started laughing maniacally, Sirius jumped and let it fall on the floor.

The skull said “Auch,” while you and Remus started laughing. 

“Did you see his face?” You asked him. 

“Absolutely priceless, wish I’d gotten a picture of it!” Agreed Remus. 

Sirius just looked at you both with a pout as he picked the skull back from the floor and gently placed it on the table. The skull started to laugh again and Remus silenced it with his wand “You planned this, didn’t you?” 

Remus shook his head, and you answered “We just took advantage of the opportunity to test them. Rem and I’ve been working on them for a while.” 

“Them?” He looked at the bag wearily “How many did you make?” 

“About a dozen,” Remus answered casually. You opened the bag again, and you carefully took the skulls out. You then handed them to the boys, who started to place them all over the common room, one near the sofa, one close to the fireplace, some over at the stairs, and in general, just spread out in rather inconvenient places, the kind of places that would have people jumping from their skin when they started screaming at them. Sirius decided it would be a good idea to have one floating over the fruit punch, and he placed it in the bowl before adding the fruit juice. You saw him take a bottle of rum out too, and pour about a quarter of it onto the drink.

You shook your head, a little smile playing on your lips as he did “Why not add a bit more?” you teased. 

“Sirius!” Remus admonished him. “What did we say about adding alcohol to the main beverage? Last year it was chaos!” 

“It was only a little bit,” he retorted, and then turned to you “Barely a trickle, right Statshine?” 

You nodded “Not even a quarter of a bottle.” Remus shook his head, looking at both of you disapprovingly. “Come on Rem,” you said persuasively “let’s leave it like that, you don’t want to throw out such a good punch do you.” 

“She’s right, Moons, come on,” Sirius said, now he was standing next to you, both looking at the taller boy with puppy eyes. 

Remus looked at the two, both so pretty trying to convince him to do something, he almost couldn’t think of anything else. In fact, he wasn’t sure there was anything in the world you’d ask of him that he would deny, not with that expression on your faces. He took a deep breath, trying not to focus on the fact that he had somehow developed a crush not only on his best friend (which he had been pretty aware of already) but on his girlfriend as well, “Just so you know, I still don’t think it’s a good idea.” 

Both you and Sirius smiled broadly, looking at each other and throwing a high-five between yourselves. “You’re the best Rem!” You told with a dashing smile and then you walked back, pulling the bag up. 

“There’s more?” Sirius asked Remus, he shrugged in response, he didn’t know. 

Slowly, you pulled out a whole skeleton from it. “What the hell?!?” Asked Remus surprised, “You didn’t tell me you also had one of those…” 

“I didn’t have it, I found it.” You told him “It was in one of the old classrooms on the 3rd floor.” 

“Is it… real?” Remus asked cautiously. 

“Didn’t ask him,” you responded with a shrug while looking at the skeleton. Remus raised his eyebrows, amused at your answer. 

And a diverted smile appeared on Sirius' lips before he asked. “Did you charm it as well?”

You ginned “‘Course I did! Who do you take me for? I’ve got a whole plan for it.” 

“And where are you going to place it?” Remus asked, from next to you now as he curiously looked at the skeleton. 

You turned your body a little, shifting the weight of the skeleton onto one of your arms, and pointed at a wardrobe in the far side of the room. 

“In the closet?” The taller boy asked in disbelief “You’re going to put the skeleton in the closet?” 

“It’s a joke in and of itself,” you said with a smile “every now and then the skeleton will drop smoke or random sounds, that way guests are inclined to investigate. And then boom, the skeleton in the closet will jump out and scare the shit out of them.” 

“That’s wicked…” Said Sirius, a smirk playing on his lips “See Moony? I told you she was like us!”

“I was certain when you told me about the day of the library,” Remus said simply. 

You looked at Sirius, eyes wide in shock “You told Remus about the library?” 

“Of course I did, your Howler was genius!” Sirius responded matter-of-factly.

“Certainly,” Remus agreed. 

Right, the Howler, he told them about the Howler, not about the snoging. “It was just, a spur-of-the-moment idea?” You said, tugging in a hair behind your ear shyly as you walked towards the wardrobe with the skeleton –Steve– as you’d named him. You knew how seriously the boys took their jokes and escapades, if Sirius and Remus were complimenting you on something, they weren’t just sweet-talking you. You slowly but surely accommodated Steve inside the wardrobe and closed the doors. 

“What are we missing?” Asked Remus as he looked around the common room, trying to get a look at the big picture. 

“Marlene’s still coming with her smoke potions, right? Spooky music? Maybe…”

“Got that taken care of,” Sirius said, and waved his wand, on the corner, a small violin, a flute and what looked like a piano started playing music. 

You were surprised “where did you get those?”  

“Stole them from the music room last year,” Sirius explained “It was a dare to prove to James that Remus was way stealthier than him, even if he’s taller.” 

You nodded, a little impressed, you then heard the portrait open, Beth and Tom walked inside with bags filled with candy; from slug worms to dancing skeletons, all the Halloween theme candies from Honeydukes were there. Tom walked all the way to the table with the punch and emptied his backpack there. Beth, on the other hand, started to neatly arrange the candies she’d gotten into different vases and floating trays, she ended up also taking the stuff Tom had dumped and finished decorating the sweet’s table, as she’d prompted everyone to call it that from then on.

“You guys did a brilliant job,” Tom said as he looked around in awe, there were spider webs coming from the ceiling, shiny black and orange streamers swirling in the air, black flamed candles levitating all over the ceiling, cauldrons filled with candies. The skulls you and Remus had charmed together still lurking on certain spots, a table filled with potions, “for potion pong,”  as Beth had told you, and overall, an eerie but fun atmosphere. You had even told Moaning Myrtle and Richard Jackdaw to come over as special guests, even if you warned them not to tell any other ghosts about the party, especially Peeves, who would definitely attempt to make some kind of prank, or tell the teachers about your shenanigans. Suddenly he tilted his head. “Do hear that?” He asked. 

Beth frowned “Hear what?” 

“It’s uh… coming from…” Tom started walking towards the wardrobe. You threw a look at the boys, Sirius held your stare with his icy grey eyes, the hint of a smirk drawing on his lips. When you turned to Remus, he was also looking at you attentively, eyebrows raised, clearly looking amused. 

As you exchanged glances with the boys Tom approached the wardrobe “None of you hear it?” 

You shook your head, it wasn’t a lie, the spell only worked for one person at a time, so really, not even Beth would hear the same thing Tom did. Tom was now right in front of the closet, and he hesitantly placed his hands on the handle, like he was considering whether he should open it or leave it alone. But Tom was curious, almost too curious for his own good and in a fast pull, he opened the door. 

The skull jumped out and clang onto Tom, eyes glowing a shade of green and screaming so loud even you winced, perhaps I overdid it, you thought. Tom screeched, jumped back and ended up on the floor, fighting to get the skeleton to unwrap its bony arms off his shoulders. When he finally did it, he threw it to the side and crawled away from it while looking at it with dread. He stayed there, panting as Steve finally shut its bony jaw, the screams and shrieks slowly dying out.

Everyone started to laugh, including Beth, who had been just a little scared at the beginning. Still with his eyes open wide, Tom turned back, a slight frown on his face as he turned to Sirius “What the fuck mate?! That was bIoody horrifying, what did I ever do to you?”

Sirius raised his hands and shrugged, “That wasn’t my prank.” 

Tom’s frown deepened and he turned to Remus “It was you?” He asked again, still trying to gain his breath. Remus shook his head as a reply, there was no way it’d been James or Peter, Tom knew they’d be pretty busy today so he slowly turned his head to you, almost unsure “(Y/N)?” 

You took a deep breath, raising your shoulders, lips tightened in a line before, letting a bit of a smile appear. Guilty, you looked guilty. “I see you’ve met Steve.” 

“You gave that horrid thing a name?” You shrugged, nodding your head as an answer. He sighed “Why me?” 

“Oh, that’s on Steve, he chooses the person he calls, not me.” 

“You put a randomizer spell on it?” Remus asked then, surprised. You nodded “How? I’ve been trying to master those for a while…” he said, walking closer to the skeleton. 

“I found it on The Refined Art of Mild Hexes, it’s somewhere on the first couple of pages,” you told him, and then started waking towards Tom and helped him up “Sorry bout that,” you said, giving the curly haired boy a light pat on the back, he just stared at you, squinting his eyes in distrust, he then scoffed, shaking his head as he looked at the skeleton on the ground. 

“Looks bIoody realistic,” he said, the edges of his lips finally curling into a little smile. 

“Yeah, Remus thought the same, and asked me if it was real.”

He turned back to you, a slightly concerned expression on his face “Well… Is it?” 

“She’d got no clue,” Sirius answered for you. 

You nodded in agreement “Found it lying around in an abandoned classroom.” 

 “And you just took it? What it if was a ghost’s or something?” 

You shook your head “I asked Richie Jackdow, and he said it didn’t belong to any of the ghosts in the castle.” 

“You really have gotten accustomed to Hogwarts, haven’t you?” 

You smiled “I guess you could say I have.”

The portrait opened itself again, and Mary and Marlene came inside. Marlene carrying a tray with potions and Mary with some more treats, this time saltier stuff from the kitchen. “I brought the fruit for the punch,” she said as she walked towards the sweet’s table. 

“Great, you guys prepare that, Sly sprite,” he said turning to you “You’re helping me with this,” he said pointing to his canines, he’d asked you to turn them into fangs earlier that week, when the party was being planned, you’d both found a spell that would be useful, and had decided it’d be the one you’d use. 

“I think I left the book in my backpack,” you said as the two of you walked towards a further away table. 

“Sly sprite,” Sirius scoffed, he was standing next to Remus. 

The taller boy raises his eyebrow “You jealous?” he teased. 

“Of Tom?! No way!” 

“Why not?” Remus asked and turned to you and Tom at the table where you’d left your backpack, you had one hand on the book and the other on your wand, Tom was staring at you attentively “Tom’s handsome, maybe just as handsome as you.” 

Sirius frowned, “You’re not helping,” he added flatly. 

Remus knew very damn well you had no interest in Tom, but he was enjoying himself while looking at a jealous Sirius, thinking back of all the times he’d been jealous himself. “I’m just saying… he’s charming, comes from a wealthy family, and his curls are really nice.” 

“Remus!” Sirius whined, turning his back to look at the hazel-eyed boy instead of at you since you already had both of your hands on Tom’s face as you pulled it back to check on his canines.

“Do you know what this is for?” Asked Mary, taking a potion bottle with a golden cap. Remus shrugged.

“Must be the sugar syrup for the punch,” Beth said “I asked Peter to bring it over in the morning.” 

Mary looked at it, swirled the liquid around inside the bottle, and uncapped it. She gave it a whiff and shrugged, it certainly smelled sweet enough. She didn’t think it twice, and dumped the entirety of the contents inside the punch, then grabbed the bottle and placed it on the potions table, since it fit the aesthetic. 

Meanwhile, you and Tom were still working on his fangs, “Stop moving for fucks sake,” you complained, as Tom looked at himself in the hand mirror he took from your bag. 

“But make them longer, yeah luv?” He answered, his voice already had a little lisp from the fangs. 

“They’ve got a great length Tom, you won’t be able to eat!” 

“Food doesn’t matter, aesthetics do!” 

You sighed, “Don’t dare come whine with me if you cannot eat.” 

“I swear I won’t Sly Sprite,” he said while placing his right hand over his heart. It made you wonder: If both Sirius and Tom entered a drama contest, would they tie? Eventually, you nodded and performed the spell again, grabbing the mirror and placing it in front of Tom’s face. He smiled, checking himself out as he slid his tongue under the fangs and winched at how sharp they were. You gave him an “I told you so” look, but he just shook his head. “Aesthetics (Y/N), aesthetics!”  

You just rolled your eyes and started to stand up but he stopped you by grabbing your arm “Hold up! Man liner!”

“Man liner?” You asked with a frown. 

“Yes! Eyeliner for men, like rock stars! Would you mind doing it for me?” He then looked through the pockets and pulled out an eyeliner pencil. 

You shrugged and nodded, taking the pencil from his hand, and leaning closer to Tom’s face, “Don’t move, all right?” He nodded and you started to line his water line. Softly gliding the pencil. When you were about to finish the first eye you felt someone looming behind you. When you turned you realised it was just Sirius, and you gave him a quick smile before going to line Tom’s second eye. 

Sirius was attentively looking at you as you lined Tom’s eye, both curious at the way you did it and also pretty jealous of how close you were to the other boy. Which prompted him to walk even closer. Once you were done you smiled and pulled away from Tom “There you go Mr. Vampire.” 

“Brilliant!” He said, placing both hands on your shoulder “Thank you Sly Sprite!” 

Sirius cleared his throat from behind “Mind if I borrow my girlfriend away for a minute.” 

Tom, being as oblivious and carefree as he was, nodded with a smile “I’m actually going to go change.” 

Once Tom was gone, you turned to Sirius with a quizzical expression “What was that about?” 

Sirius, who had spoken without thinking, was taken aback by your question “I… uh— Can you line my eyes too?” He improvised.

You frowned, “What are you dressing as?” 

He was about to open his mouth, but shut it before he could speak. “What are you going to dress up as?” 

“Oh… that’s right. You haven’t guessed. You get 3 more tries,” you told him playfully, as you placed your hand on his shoulder, guiding him to sit on the same chair Tom had been in.

He sat there and looked up at you, your breath got stuck in your throat, how was it possible for a boy to be this pretty? You leaned in closer, a lot closer than you had been to Tom, which made Sirius feel a lot better already. “Look up at me, All right?” You told him softly. He did, and you swore you felt your legs wobble, but you took a deep breath and while holding his chin with one hand, you gently placed your other hand on his cheek, to stabilise it while you lined his eyes. You were a lot more careful than you’d been with Tom. Softer, taking a lot longer to drag the eye pencil under his lower lashes. You honestly enjoyed being close to Sirius, more than you’d ever dare to admit to his face, especially since it’d go straight to his head, feeding his already pretty big ego.

“Are you gonna be a mermaid?” 

“No, I’m not.” You replied and continued with your task. 

“What about a princess? You certainly fit the look.” 

“Puppy stop moving!” You reprimanded, as a blush threatened to spread on your cheeks, “And no, I’m not going to be a princess, that’s two tries out of three.” He huffed, he really wanted to win the bet “What about you? Are you gonna be a rockstar?” 

“Nope.” He responded, “3 tries for you too.” 

You leaned in a little closer, narrowing your eyes as you tried to be as accurate as possible, “Will you come as a prince? It’s also something that would suit you.” 

He shook his head “I’m letting James take the spotlight with the mediaeval clothes… You think I look like a prince?” He asked, a little smirk playing on his lips. 

You rolled your eyes, “Everyone thinks you look like a prince, Sirius.” 

“Nah, I’m pretty sure you just said you think I look like a prince.” 

You playfully hit his shoulder before going to the other eye. Almost losing yourself in the frosty blue of them before focusing on your task again. Sirius was still looking at you attentively as you continued to paint his waterline. “Aren’t you gonna try and guess again?” 

“I’ve only got one try left.” 

“And you’re not planning to use it?” 

“I am… just– I want to… think it thoroughly.” 

“You know, you could just tell me whatever your wish is.” 

“It wouldn’t be the same thing,” he retorted. “You should also do Remus’ man liner since he’s going to be a pirate.” 

“I’m not sure he’d like it…” you said, a little insecure about it. 

“I think he would, we should tell him,” he said, very sure of himself. “Hey, Remus!” 

“Mmmm?” the mentioned boy asked from the sofa, where he was arranging some more cauldrons filled with treats. 

“Come over! Will ya?” 

Remus turned to the boy, gave him a look like he did not want to move, but stood up and walked up to the two of you. 

“You’re up next,” Sirius informed him.

“For what?” 

“(Y/N) is doing your manliner.” 

“If you want to…” you added. Finally separating from Sirius since you had finished, smiling at how handsome your boyfriend looked. 

“It’s for your costume.” Sirius said, “It won’t be finished without it.” He then stood up and placed Remus right on the chair in front of yours.

Remus just took a deep breath as he stared at his friend, before turning to look at you, expectantly. 

“You sure you’re ok with it?” You asked, with a little frown. There it was again, the concern and care you always seemed to show Remus, the same concern and care that had his heart fluttering from how close you were standing to him. From how close both Sirius and you were to him, in fact. 

He cleared his throat and nodded, and you leaned closer to him, grabbing his face just as carefully as you had grabbed Sirius’. His skin was a lot softer than you’d imagined, you unintentionally brushed your fingers over one of his scars, but Remus didn’t flinch, which surprised him, since he usually detested when people did it. In fact, he remembered a particular time when he was making out with a boy and he snapped at him for touching his face. 

“Look up at me Rem,” you told him softly, he complied, looking at you through his lashes, Sirius was right next to you, Remus could see his satisfied expression from the corner of his eyes. You finally leaned in, and started to glide the pencil over his lower lashes. You somehow ended up focusing on his eyes, how they had these little specks of amber tones in them, they were bigger, and somewhat softer than Sirius’, very doe-like, in fact. “Tell me if it hurts,” you added later. Remus was nothing like Sirius, the latter would make a fuzz if you pricked him on the eye accidentally. Remus, on the other hand, he’d probably endure it without even wincing. He nodded, and you had to quickly pull the eye pencil away from his face. “But don’t move!” you admonished, grabbing his face a little more sternly now. 

“M’sorry,” he mumbled. 

“What do you think (Y/N)’s costume’s gonna be?” Sirius, who was still very close to the two of you, attentively watching the way you lined Remus’ waterline, asked. He seemed pretty content, falling to notice you were standing so much closer to Remus than you had been to Tom.

“You haven’t guessed yet?” Remus asked, a diverted smile playing on his lips “That’s unfortunate for you.” 

“MOONY!” He whined, “I asked you to help me choose, not to make fun of me.” Remus shrugged. “She said she’s not gonna be a princess, or a mermaid, also not an alien, or an astronaut, from what I asked yesterday. Mmmm.. and she also said she wasn’t dressing as a superhero, though I’m sure she’d look great as Wonder Woman.” 

“Who would’ve thought Sirius would be into costumes…” you teased. Remus instantly chuckled, but it took a little longer for Sirius to understand the joke. 

“Hey! I’m not– I– I just want my prize!” 

“Well then guess by yourself, If Remus guesses for you, he gets your prize.” 

Sirius gasped “You wouldn’t.” 

“I so would,” you teased again. Then pulled back from Remus “There we go,” you smiled at your work, slowly letting your fingers glide over his skin as you pulled them away from his face, Remus really did work that man liner out.

“Damn, mate!” Sirius said as Remus stood, looking up at him “You look absolutely dashing, and you don’t even have the rest of your costume on.” 

“He’s right,” you nodded “Remus’ getting bitches tonight.” 

Remus gave you a reproachful look, but nodded, “I think everything’s pretty much handled already.” 

You saw Tom walk down from the stairs in a puffy shirt and a dark green vest. He’d brushed his curls back, only one gently falling on his forehead, he was definitely working that vampire costume. 

You approached him quickly “Tom! It’s brilliant you’re ready. Deal with everything while we go change, yeah?” 

He nodded, and then smiled mischievously. “I’ll go find the potion, I probably left it somewhere when I dropped all the candies on Beth’s Sweets Table.” 

You raised your eyebrows “Just don’t down it all in one go. Save some for the rest of us.” He winked as an answer. “Tom’s taking care of this, we can go change,” You said, turning to Remus and Sirius, who were just a couple steps behind you. 

Sirius approached Tom first, and handed the eyeliner over “Your eyeliner.” He said icily. 

“Thanks for borrowing it,” Remus added politely afterwards, feeling like he wanted to punch Sirius for being such an idiot to Tom. You clearly weren’t interested in the boy, in fact, anyone would tell him how head over heels you were for him, but he had such a thick head he dared to be jealous. Maybe it was from how much hair he had.

Tom, being Tom, just smiled, almost mischievously. “No problem, you both look smashing, by the way…” He then eyed the taller boy up and down “Remus,” he said with a nod, before walking away to the centre of the room.

You frowned slightly at the exchange, remembering Tom’s words: “You’d be surprised, most of them hide it quite well though, you wouldn’t expect it.” Would it be possible that Remus was also-

You felt a hand press to the small of your back, “let’s go, love,” Sirius said, as he pushed you up the stairs.

“Uh.. yeah sure,” you said, allowing Sirius to guide you, turning your head back towards the front. 

 “Are you gonna be a lady knight?” He asked as you walked up the spiral staircase, Remus trailing behind just a little.

You shook your head “But that would’ve been a brilliant idea!” 

“Well, you’d certainly look great in silver armour,” He replied with a little smirk. You playfully shoved him off as you rolled your eyes. 

��Will you be… a prisoner from Azkaban?” 

“I would look great in those white and blue stripes, wouldn’t I?” He teased confidently “But no… I’m not gonna be that!” 

You sighed “We both lose then. What was your wish?” 

“I’ll tell you later,” he said with a wink. Eventually, you parted ways, waving a hand as the boys walked toward their rooms while you walked to yours.  

Series Masterlist | The Interlude | Next Chapter

TAGLIST: @rayrlupin @callmelovergirl @warcelia @ireneop @endversewinchester @moonyunebi @smuttysluttybitch @mazzymoons @drugs-for-memes @sofiacblair @vmpir3lvr @remuslupinisbae @rabluver @willgrahamisalesbi4n @thatobsessedreader @orkwardx0  @itskailey24 @hell0-kittie @belovedmoony @blacksgarden @loving-and-dreaming @cassie-love20 @starchaser-lily @zucchini-queenie @springflwer07 @sseleniaa @cometsghost @orkwardx0 @imdoingbetternow  @sbrewer21 @remuslupinsbae @maxinehufflepuffprincess @wifiatthetrainstation @unstablereader @mablacklupin @oliversaurus

Leve a comment telling me if you wanna be tagged on Gilded Constellations

Want to support me? Like and reblog this post (reblogs are extra nice since they help me get my work to more people), also guys, I absolutely love reading your comments, so do throw them my way if you have any!

Raead more Marauders Fiction

[mermaidgirl30]

Look for the Light

Chapter 22

- Summary: Aly finds herself trying to escape the Boston QZ. What Aly doesn’t know is Tess is pairing her up with Joel to go on a dangerous mission to find Tommy. Will Aly survive the brooding, moody Joel or will she find herself falling hard for him?

You spent the next two days trekking from Colorado to Utah. The snow following you all the way. Not any snow storms, just light snow that fell and pulled away every once in a while. Towering mountains didn’t slow down either. Every which way you turned was a mountain covered in glistening white snow. The views were breathtaking, nature showing its real beauty.

The temperature was slightly higher than it was in Colorado, so the trip wasn’t awful. Your winter jacket and Joel were all you needed to stay warm. The two of you had stopped along the way at a couple of run down, abandoned houses to sleep during the cold nights. You had no run-ins with any raiders or infected which was odd, but it calmed you to know it was peaceful. So far at least.

You were so close to Salt Lake City, just right on the outskirts of the city. You were almost there and still didn’t know exactly what happened with Tommy and Joel. You’d put off asking him the past week, so you guessed it was about time to get some answers.

You carefully brought up the subject, trying not to set him off. “So, you and Tommy. What exactly happened between the two of you?”

Joel sat up straighter, his muscles tightening around you. You could feel him get fidgety as your arms were wrapped around his waist, his abs stiffening. You heard him breathe out a sigh before he answered you.

“Me and Tommy…we had different views. After the virus spread things got rough between us. We…we hurt people to stay alive. We took what we had to, to live. It ultimately got too much for the both of us.” He adjusted his position on the saddle, his grip holding the reins growing tighter and then loosening. His hands were fidgeting along with his leg that was bouncing up and down unsteadily.

You could see this conversation was bothering him, so you took a more gentle approach. “You alright?” you asked slowly as you placed a hand on his thigh, his leg instantly becoming still underneath your touch.

“I’m fine,” he said with a deep southern drawl.

You took that as the okay to ask him another question. “So, what happened next?”

He took a minute to answer you, but he was calm about it. “We started fighting more, having more arguments. It wasn’t pretty. The fireflies started getting into Tommy’s head, saying they could fix the world. No matter how fucked up it already was. They swore to him they’d fix it. And they filled him with hope. I didn’t believe a damn word out of their mouths. But Marlene, the leader of the fireflies, convinced him to join them. I tried to talk him out of it, but she convinced him otherwise. And before I knew it they were heading out west. Last I heard they were going to Salt Lake City. And so that’s where I decided he’d be. And I hope that son of a bitch is still there. It’s been a long time..He said he never wanted to see my face again when he left with the fireflies..”

His voice trailed off, and he looked lost in thought. “Hey, we’ll find him. Don’t worry. We’re so close. I’m sure he didn’t mean all those things he said. He’s your brother. I’m sure once he sees you again it’ll be like nothing ever happened,” you encouraged him, keeping your hand on his thigh.

He gently placed his hand over yours and gave it a tight squeeze. “I appreciate the kind words, but we’ll see. I just thought I’d at least try. Ya know?”

“I’m glad you’re trying. How long has it been now? Since the last time you saw him.” You looked over his shoulder and gazed at his face, his forehead creased in thought.

“Too long. More than a decade. Shit.” He slowly laughed and shook his head in disbelief. “I can’t believe it took me this long to go and look for my brother again. I’ll be damned if he even recognizes me anymore.”

You placed your head on Joel’s shoulder and looked up at him. “He’ll recognize you. Of course he will. And I’ll be there by your side when that happens.”

He gazed down at you with those pretty honey eyes of his and gave you a small smile while he reached up and grazed his hand under your chin in an affectionate way. “Thanks for believing in me.”

You nodded in his direction, and he turned his sights back to the road. You sat in silence for a few minutes. His muscles going from tense to relaxed as you put your arms back around his waist. You were enjoying this. The fresh air while you were wrapped around Joel. It was somehow soothing.

A couple of minutes later Joel pulled on the reins, making Shimmer stop abruptly. “Whoa, girl,” Joel said quickly as he slid off the saddle.

You looked up to try to see what made Joel stop. He was standing by the side of a small hill. You jumped down off Shimmer’s back and walked over to where he stood. Before you could ask what he was looking at, you looked down and saw for yourself. Your eyes widened when you saw just what he was looking at. Infected.

Ten runners stood just a few feet from where you stood, the hillside separating you from being level with them. You could hear their angry screams, the way they cried out as if they were trying to draw their next victim in. Some moved slow, others were fast as they twisted and contorted their bodies into repulsive shapes. Their dead eyes wandered mindless as they looked around at nothing in particular. Just dead bodies that were aimlessly searching for life.

“There’s so many of them,” you said as you stared at all of them, your eyes looking from one infected to the next.

Joel shifted his weight and looked over at you, a question in his eyes. You looked over and gave him your best guessing face, trying to figure out why he was looking at you like that.

“Hmmm,” he started. You cocked your head to the side and continued to give him a questioning glance. “Wanna put that bow of yours to the test? Get a little practice in.”

You shifted the strap over your back, feeling the cool leather material run through your hands. The arrows slightly shifted from the movement. “Alright, yeah. I could use a little more practice,” you said as you reached to get the bow out of the bag, along with grabbing an arrow out. “But wait. I bet I could shoot more runners than you.” Your nerves tingled from what you just suggested. Of course he’d beat you. What were you thinking?

He took a step closer, raising an eyebrow as he looked you in the eyes. “Are you challenging me?”

No, because you knew he’d win. You brushed off the thought and put your A game face on. “Looks like it,” you said with confidence, resting your hand on your hip as you narrowed your eyes slightly.

“Think you can beat me?” he said with a playful smile.

“Yes, as a matter of fact I do.”

“We’ll see about then, won’t we? And the winner. What does the winner get?”

Huh? You hadn’t thought of any prizes. You were ultimately just joking, but it turned into a real game quick. “Whatever they want,” you answered with a flirtatious flutter of your eyelashes.

“Hmmm. Whatever they want…” His eyes lowered to your lips and hovered slowly back up to your eyes. His eyes darkened and a smirk formed on his mouth. That was enough to bring you to your knees. The way he just looked at you. It was…dangerous, tempting, hot.

You gulped in response, quickly picking yourself back up from the pieces he just shattered you in. “Anything,” you whispered back.

He stole one more glance at your lips and nodded. “Alright. Challenge accepted. Whoever shoots the most infected with the bow wins. Ladies first,” he said as he bowed and held out his hand towards the direction of the infected.

You gave him a quick nod and walked towards the ledge, your feet stopping before you could tumble down the small hill. You looked across the land, examining every infected that you saw. Slowly scanning which one would be your first target. You decided on a slow one with a ripped up hoodie and black baggy jeans.

You took a slow breath and placed the arrow in the center of the bow, bringing it up to your eye level. You steadied yourself and got into position, your feet parallel to one another, your body angled just slightly.

You focused on your target, watching its every move. You closed your right eye, leaving your left open to aim at your target. One more deep breath and you were pulling the string back, the arrow flying into the sky. It hit your target perfectly in the head, its body falling hard to the ground as blood spilled out the side of its punctured skull.

“That’s one,” you said in celebration, your voice giddy with excitement.

“Nice shot. Now do it again,” Joel demanded.

You stole a glance at him before you focused back on the open land, a small smile creeping up to your face. You got another arrow out and placed it in the bow carefully. You eyed a faster runner, taking your chances with your spotty aim.

You got in position and shot the arrow through the air. The runner was almost too fast, but the arrow landed in the far side of its head. It went down without a fight. “Yes!” you whispered to yourself.

“Again,” he commanded.

You set your sights on a runner that was headed your way. You shot at the right time, the arrow taking it down fast. You were getting good at this. You were amazed, really. You didn’t think you’d catch on this quick.

“Good. Almost too good…” he said with a deep voice as he circled you like a vulture, watching your every move.

You watched him circle you, your heart racing at the sight. “You should know why. You’re the one who taught me,” you replied, your cheeks blushing at the thought.

“That’s right, now go again.” The last word dripped off his tongue like honey, his voice dream-like. As he passed you he stretched his arm out and brushed the side of your hip. His touch burned through your clothes, you could feel his marks left against the chill of your skin.

He walked past you and dropped his hand. Your breath hitched at the contact. Focus. But you couldn’t. All your thoughts were trained on the man who left your skin on fire. You took another arrow and set it up, getting ready to play out your next move.

One of the slower runners was hobbling up to the hill, their dead eyes unmoving as it moved uncannily. That was the one. You focused your sight and positioned yourself angling to the left. You took a deep breath and slowly started to pull back the string.

Before you could move your arm anymore, Joel came up silently behind you, his hot breath breathing down your neck. “Careful. Eyes up just a little higher. You don’t want to miss.” He was standing so close, his hand barely touching the side of your thigh.

You gasped from the way his words slid right through you, his breath hitting your neck in just the right spot. He took a step back, but all you could think about was how good it felt to have his warmth breathing down your neck. As you brought the string all the way back, your grasp slipped and the arrow went sailing in the air. Except it didn’t hit its mark. It completely missed.

“Shit,” you said annoyed. Joel was the reason why you had missed. Damn it, Joel.

You heard a small laugh escape his lips behind you as you turned to glare at him. “You almost had it,” he said sarcastically.

“You distracted me! I would’ve had that if it wasn’t for you. Cheater,” you said as you walked up and stopped in front of him, crossing your arms. “You don’t play fair.”

“Hey, I didn’t cheat. I was only trying to help. It’s not my fault you got distracted.” He smirked at you, the smile meeting his eyes.

“Well, you didn’t help.” You stood your ground and placed a hand on your hip, playfully narrowing your eyes at him.

“Sorry to hear that. Now gimme. My turn.” He held out his hand and waited for you to give him the bow.

“Fine. Let’s see what you got.” You defeatedly gave him the wooden bow and took off your bag strapped around you that was full of black arrows, dropping it next to him.

He winked at you and walked up to the edge of the hill. You watched him carefully, studying his actions. He positioned the bow with an arrow ready to aim. He quickly found the runner you tried to take down and aimed for its head. He pulled back the string with a strong arm and shot, it went perfectly through its head, the runner now dead. You rolled your eyes at how precise his aim was.

He did it again with the next runner and the next. Making every shot crisp and swift. His aim was flawless, never missing a beat. It didn’t matter how fast the runners were going, he’d take them down one by one. He never missed a shot. Every single arrow landing through their tainted skulls.

He was on the last runner now. It was coming straight for Joel, just feet away. He took it out with no effort at all. He was just too good, too skilled in the craft. You wanted to tell him you were no match compared to him, but you held back. You knew he’d win. His abilities were exceptional.

“So that’s three to seven. Looks like I won,” he smirked as he turned to you, still holding the bow.

You shook your head and laughed. “I would’ve done better if it wasn’t for a certain someone.” You crossed your arms and gave him a knowing look.

“Hey now, you did fine. We can always practice more,” he reassured you.

“Right. Next time I’ll show you up,” you promised. “Anyways, you won. So what do you want?”

“What do I want?” he asked with a questioning gaze, his eyes trained on you. “I think you know.” He took a step closer to you, his eyes hounding you.

Oh. Your breathing sped up as he followed you. When you took a step back, he took a step forward. It’s like you were in a dance, never too far away from the other. His eyes darkened and his smirk returned to his face. He was prowling towards you like a tiger ready to devour its prey.

He backed you up against a tree and put his arms up around each side of you, pinning you to the spot. To him. His warm eyes were puddles of dark chocolate, growing darker with every second that passed. His warm breath blew in your face, warming all your senses.

You gulped, your breath catching in your throat. Joel leaned down and cupped your chin in his hand, gently raising you up to where his mouth was inches away from yours. You slowly ran your tongue across your bottom lip, wetting it in anticipation of his lips on yours. His eyes were almost black now as he watched you intensely. His nostrils flaring as he took deep breaths. He was focusing hard on you, waiting to devour you. And that made you shiver in anticipation.

“This is what you wanted right? Me?” you asked seductively, your hand reaching up to rest on his chest, his plaid shirt warm beneath your touch.

“That’s right. You,” he whispered as he leaned against your ear, the words breathing down your neck as heat climbed its way through you. His warmth felt so inviting, so enticing.

“Then what are you waiting for?” you whispered back to him, your breath coming out in waves.

“Your permission.” He stared into your eyes, focused and waiting for your approval.

He was asking for your permission? That was so…hot. After everything that had happened, he now wanted permission to touch you. What a complete gentleman. And you’d give him permission because this is what you wanted. No, needed. His touch, his lips on yours. You wanted it all. Needed it. Craved it.

You grabbed his shirt and pulled him in closer to you, his nose meeting yours, his lips hanging just above yours. Your eyes were at the same level, those dark brown eyes burning into yours. That alone almost sent you to your knees. His eyes begging you to sink into them.

“Yes. You have my complete permission.”

A devilish smirk formed on his lips as he stared at you for a couple more seconds. Before you could register his next move his mouth landed on yours. It was warm and delicate, but it quickly turned into a yearning kiss. The kiss deepening as it grew into a hungry, desperate action.

His hands found your hips as he slowly moved the ends of your shirt up, running his rough fingers across your smooth skin. Electricity pulsed through your body, sending shock waves to your system.

He lifted you up and wrapped your legs around him, pressing your back against the tree. His tongue found yours as he explored your mouth, the taste of coffee igniting your senses. His lips felt so good around your mouth, so right. He pressed you deeper into the tree, his mouth ravaging yours.

He took his hand and moved your long locks behind your left ear, his fingertips grazing the side of your face as he took his lips off yours. Before you could respond he took his tongue and ran it up the side of your neck. Oh, God. And then he was sucking, finding your most sensitive spots.

You could smell the mahogany dripping off him, and it made you dizzy. The hint of cinnamon and the outdoors entwining together, feeding off your desires. He continued exploring your neck, no skin left untouched. You ran your hands through his messy hair, and he groaned in response. The sound alone made you shutter.

He trailed soft kisses up to your ear and whispered seductively, his deep voice leaving you breathless. “Alyson…” he purred in your ear. The sweet sounding melody clouding all your thoughts. Fuck. The way your name dripped off his tongue made you want to come undone.

He trailed his nose down the side of your neck and sunk his lips down on the most sensitive spot of your neck. You moaned loudly into his ear as the sensation ran through you, your grip tightening on his shirt.

“Ahh right there. Right at this spot. I’ll remember that,” he said as he dropped his lips back down to the same place, his mouth devouring you. You moaned again, this time not holding back.

You could feel the inside of your legs growing hot, a warm sensation building inside you. Wet pulsing desire consumed you with every touch he gave you. You squeezed your legs tighter around him, trying to lessen the growing sensation. You wanted him to touch you. You wanted to feel him sink his lips down on every inch of your body. You wanted his mouth in between your legs. Your legs tightened around him just thinking about it.

He slowly teased at the waist band of your jeans, his fingertips almost dipping down beneath the denim material. Your breath hitched at the thought, your vision becoming slightly blurry from the dizziness you felt in your head.

Suddenly he untangled your legs and sat your feet back on the ground, leaving you with one more lasting kiss on your lips. That’s when he broke away, breaking your skin to skin contact. Why did he stop? Why did he fucking stop?

“Why…why did you stop?” you asked breathless, your voice coming out shallow and ragged.

He looked at you then, his eyes still black pits as he ran a hand through his messy locks. “We need to keep going. We’re almost there. Now let’s go gather the arrows up.” His voice was just as breathless as yours. He was just as affected as you were.

“That doesn’t answer my question,” you said as you reached for his arm, grabbing his soft sleeve between your fingers.

He gazed at your hand and looked back up at you, carefully. His eyes finding yours. They were still dark, the blackness fighting to take control again. “Later,” he said in a quiet, deep voice. It shook your insides like a crash of thunder. “Now, let’s go.”

You pushed him playfully against his shoulder. “Joel Miller, you’re such a tease!”

He gazed up at you with a smirk on his mouth. He knew what he was doing. He enjoyed it too. Enjoyed seeing how he affected you. How his touch made you melt just like that. He liked it. No, he revelled in it. But you liked it just as much as he did. You wanted to see just how far he’d take it. How far he’d indulge you, tease you…

“Come on,” he said as he took your arm and led you down the small hill to retrieve the arrows. As you walked by his side, he knelt down slightly and put his lips to your ear. “That was only the beginning. The things I could teach you…” His voice trailed off as he broke contact with your arm, stepping away to grab the first arrow he saw.

Your cheeks flushed at the words that just escaped his mouth, leaving your throat dry. You gulped at the thoughts that swam around in your head. You and Joel tangling in the sheets together, getting lost in each other’s ecstasy…

“Aly.” Joel brought you out of your trance as he called your name. You looked up and he was signaling for you to follow him.

“Yeah, I’m coming,” you said in response. You quickly got a move on and followed after him. You both started going to every fallen runner and retrieved the arrows one by one, quickly working your way to the last one. You picked up the last one from a runner that was splayed flat on its stomach on the ground in a pool of blood. You put the arrow back in your bag, along with the bow and was ready to leave the area.

You and Joel got back on Shimmer and traveled a couple more miles until you came upon a white post sign that said Salt Lake City in big red letters. Underneath it was the fireflies symbol. In black spray paint was a firefly that was splayed across the post where anyone could see it.

“I think we made it,” Joel said as he slowed Shimmer’s pace as she walked past the sign.

“Where is everyone?” you asked as you looked around the desolate area.

“Around here somewhere,” he said as he looked around cautiously. “Let’s go on foot, see if we can find which building they’re hiding in.”

“Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.”

Joel jumped down from Shimmer and you followed behind him. Your pistol and knife secured in your pocket, along with the bow strapped around you. Joel’s rifle swayed against his back with each step he took. He was on edge and so were you.

You quietly made your way through the empty city. Vacant buildings surrounded you. Some had windows busted out with broken glass surrounding the ground, others had locks on the front of them. You watched your step, careful not to step on anything sharp.

As you came around the corner, a large hospital sat in the center of the city. It was huge, looking almost like a skyscraper. The glass windows surrounded its entirety, and the name Saint Mary’s sat at the top of the building in bold letters that were quickly fading. The hospital looked to be about six floors high. A covered parking garage sat next to it.

“Joel…” you whispered as you saw the words spray painted on the side of the hospital. “When you’re lost in the darkness, look for the light” was spelled out in bold letters. The fireflies symbol sat underneath the words. It looked ominous, threatening. You didn’t trust the fireflies and never would.

His grip tightened on the strap of his gun as he took in the sight of the hospital and the message that was blaring through the city. “They’re in there,” he said gravely as he looked over his shoulder at you.

“You think Tommy’s in there?”

“I sure as hell hope so. Otherwise I don’t know what we’re walking into,” he said nervously.

“Do you think they take kindly to strangers?” you asked nervously.

“I don’t think they take kindly to anyone,” he scowled and looked back towards the hospital, to the unknown that lay waiting for you to explore.

“What do you think they’re up to in there?” you asked as you scanned the hospital building. The message from the fireflies catching your vision again.

“There’s no telling. Guess we’ll find out.”

You heard a loud crunch behind you, and you froze in place. Joel noticed it also because he looked over at you and raised a brow, questioning what the noise was and who made it.

Another crunching noise was heard just a few paces behind you. Before you could snap your head around to see who was there, you felt something heavy crash down on your head. You felt the sting of pain run through your head before you hit the ground. Your vision went black and so did the sky as you faded into the darkness.

Joel’s POV

You awoke with a pounding headache, your head feeling like it was about to split in two. You brought your hand up to the back of your head and rubbed the area that was throbbing. You slowly opened your eyes, squinting from the harsh lights in the room.

You were laying on the cold linoleum floor trying to figure out how you got here, your body fighting you to get off the floor. You groaned and rolled over, trying to get to a sitting position slowly.

When you finally got to a sitting position, you looked up and saw what was shifting in the room. Four men with shiny, black combat boots and navy colored uniforms stood before you, and they all held rifles in their hands. The firefly symbol patched on the sides of their sleeves.

You froze as you looked over each of them, studying their features. You shifted your weight just the slightest, and they all brought their guns up to attention, pointing the rifles directly at you. “Don’t move,” one of the men spat out with demand.

You narrowed your eyes at them but followed their orders. Fucking fireflies. You braced your jaw and drew your forehead into hard lines, making it known you weren’t happy.

You looked around the room. It was pretty bare. It was a small room with tainted white walls. There was nothing in here except for you and some fireflies. Aly was nowhere in sight. Where the fuck did they take her?

“Where’s the girl?” you growled as you stared up harshly to the men.

“She’s not your concern,” one of the men yelled back.

“The hell she is!” you yelled back even louder.

The firefly raised his gun and took a few steps closer to you. His combat boot collided into the side of your stomach as a sharp kick hit your gut. You braced your hands on the floor and bent over, trying to catch your breath again as the kick sent sharp pulses through you.

The firefly backed up and got back into position with the other men. As soon as the pain started subsiding, you raised your head and glared daggers at the firefly, your eyes squinting into hard lines. You were pissed.

Before you could say something to ignite the anger more, a door slammed open in the corner of the room and in walked a woman. She was fairly tall, had dark skin and raven hair. She was muscular and was wearing a tan tank top, camo pants and boots. Except it wasn’t just any woman, it was Marlene.

“Marlene?!” It came off more like shock than a question as your voice echoed through the room loudly.

“Joel?” she asked in surprise. “What are you doing here?” Shock registered on her face like she wasn’t expecting to see you.

“I could ask you the same thing,” you said with gritted teeth.

“Boys, put down your guns. I know this man. It’s Tommy’s brother,” she said as she held out a hand to them, signaling them to put their weapons down.

The fireflies brought their guns down slowly, but the one who had kicked you was hesitant. You looked up at him again and glared, letting him know you didn’t trust him at all.

You looked back over at Marlene as she moved closer. “Where is she?” you pressed.

“Which one?” she asked hesitantly.

“What do you mean which one? The one your men knocked out cold who was with me!” you barked.

“Oh, right. That one…” Her voice trailed off like you had meant another girl. What the fuck was that about?

“Where..Is..She?” you said as you clenched your teeth. Did you have to spell it out?

“She’s fine. She’s in the other room resting,” she assured you.

“I swear to God, Marlene, if any of your men laid a hand on her…”

“Calm down, Joel! She’s okay,” she said as she held out a hand, trying to halt you from lashing out.

“Take me to her. Now!” you demanded forcefully.

“Get up then. Come on,” she said as she turned for the door, stopping to wait for you.

You pushed yourself off the floor with a grunt. You still had a headache, but that was the least of your worries right now. You had business to get to. You noticed the men followed you out the room and stayed on your trail, right at your heels.

“Marlene, can you get your men to back off just a little?” you barked at her.

“Guys, cool it. Go back outside and keep searching. She’s got to be around here somewhere.” They obeyed and turned the other way. The man that kicked you giving you a once over before he turned on his heel and went the opposite way.

“Fucker,” you whispered under your breath at the firefly, annoyed you were even in this mess.

“You haven’t changed a bit since the last time I saw you. Still the same old angry Joel I knew back then. Always in some kind of mood,” she laughed casually.

“I wouldn’t be in a mood if your men wouldn’t have knocked us out and took our weapons,” you spat back, crossing your arms over your chest.

“Relax. They were only doing their job. And your weapons are waiting for you. You’ll get them back before you leave,” she reassured you. “But first we had to make sure you weren’t a threat.”

You huffed in response. Marlene took you down the rundown hall. The wallpaper was in tatters, and the floor was stained from old water leaks. You noticed a surgery room from the corner of your eye. There was a small metal table next to a hospital bed with scalpels, scissors and other equipment you’d use for surgery. What the fuck were they doing in here?

You were about to ask until Marlene turned the corner and came to a brown hollow door, placing her hand on the rusty doorknob and turning it as it squeaked open. Over her shoulder you could see a medical table, and Aly was sitting up on the edge of it holding her head. You pushed past Marlene and rushed over to her.

“Aly! Are you okay? Are you hurt?” you asked hurriedly as you checked her over for any new injuries. You didn’t see any visible ones which was good for the fireflies.

“My head hurts a little, but other than that I think I’m okay. I’m better now that you’re here,” she said quietly as she reached for your arm.

“Where does it hurt?”

“Right back here.” She pointed to a spot on the back of her head and moved the hand off that was holding her head, letting you take a look. You couldn’t see any visible swelling or marks, but that didn’t mean she didn’t have a slight concussion.

You placed your hand gently on the spot she pointed to and slowly rubbed it, making small circles with your fingers. She groaned slightly, but she leaned into your touch. “Any better now?” you asked.

She nodded up at you, her diamond eyes finding yours. “Better.”

You took your hand and placed it on her thigh affectionately before turning back to Marlene. “If she has a concussion I swear I’ll…”

Marlene interrupted you before you could finish your hateful thought. “That’s enough, Joel. She doesn’t have a concussion. Calm down,” she warned.

“You know her?” Aly questioned you. You looked over to her, and her eyes were full of endless questions.

“This is Marlene. The one I told you about,” you said with bitterness in your voice.

“Oh, I see. What a way to be introduced to one another,” she said with sarcasm in her voice.

Marlene walked up to you and Aly with a huff in her voice. “Guess Joel’s already told you about me. Hopefully nothing bad, right Joel?” she said as she glared up at you, her eyebrows rising in question. You rolled your eyes in response.

“Well anyways, I’m Marlene, leader of the fireflies. I’m sorry we had to meet on such shitty terms. And you are?” she asked as she looked at Aly, waiting for a response.

“I’m Aly. Nice to meet you, I guess,” she said hesitantly.

“Likewise.” She eyed Aly’s wrapping on her left arm, curiously observing it. “What happened to your arm?”

Aly looked down at the wrapping and eyed it for a few seconds, her grip on the table deepening as she clenched her fingers against the worn out blue material. “I was stabbed,” she said faintly, barely audible as she looked back up.

“Mind if I take a look?” she asked carefully. She started to reach out her arm, but you caught her wrist before she could lay her hands on Aly. You gave her a hard glare as your nostrils flared.

“Joel, for God’s sake let me look at her arm! I’m trained in the medical field, I can help so let me,” she said as she raised her voice and yanked her arm out of your grasp.

“Joel, it’s okay. Just let her,” Aly said as she glanced at you with pleading eyes.

“Alright, fine. But be careful with her,” you warned Marlene as you stepped back to make room for her. You crossed your arms over your chest and stood back to watch. You clenched your jaw and fought back words you’d like to say to Marlene.

She brought a bright light over to Aly and put it in place to shine down on the injured arm. She walked over to her left side and slowly started to undo the wrapping and bandages of the wound, making sure not to pull on the skin.

“You know I’ve never seen Joel this protective over anyone not since…” She looked over at your broken watch, and you knew what she was about to say. You gave her a deep scowl and glared at her, mouthing the word don’t as a warning. You dared her to say something about Sarah. The next thing would be your fist in her face.

She got the hint and turned back towards Aly. Aly lifted her eyebrow in question, but she didn’t linger on it. “He must care about you,” she said as she finished getting the bandages off.

“Yeah, I guess he must,” she said as she gazed up at you, a shy smile on her face as her blue eyes lit up. The corner of your mouth rose in response, a smile forming just for her.

Marlene then examined the stitches, looking closely at your work. “I’m guessing that you stitched her up?” she asked as she looked back at you.

“I did,” you answered back.

“Not too shabby. Could’ve done a little better, but overall not bad. You also kept it clean I see. There’s no redness or signs of infection. You saved her arm. Good work.” She saluted you as she ran her hands over the stitches. Aly jumped a little at the touch, but she eased up. “How long have these been in?” she asked you.

“A little over a week.”

“Time to take them out then. Do you mind? It’ll be quick and easy,” she said as she looked at Aly.

“Yeah. That’d actually be great. Thanks,” she said in approval.

Marlene got up and walked over to a small metal table and grabbed a pair of clean scissors and tweezers. She came back over and pulled up a leather stool to sit on as she worked. She quickly got to work with opening each stitch, cutting and pulling them free of the skin. Aly winced a couple of times, but overall she was doing pretty good.

“So how did you and Joel meet?” she asked Aly as she pulled out another stitch.

“We met back at the Boston QZ,” she said as she watched Marlene work on her arm, another stitch being pulled apart.

“And what, you just decided to team up and leave Boston? Can’t imagine Joel was easy to get along with,” Marlene laughed and casually made a knowing face at you.

You huffed out a response, annoyed. “It was actually Tess who introduced us. Aly wanted to get out of the Boston QZ, so I got her out.”

“He said no at first, but he changed his mind pretty fast. In the same night actually. But no, I can’t say that we got along well at first,” Aly quietly laughed as she looked at Marlene, shifting her weight on the table just slightly.

“How is Tess?” Marlene asked casually, looking over her shoulder at you.

“She’s fine.” You said it with a hard edge, not wanting to drag on about the topic.

“So tell me, what was your motivation for leaving? There had to be money, a trade, something that you gained. I know you were a smuggler. So which was it?”

“It was none of that,” you snapped at her, your teeth showing like you had fangs that were ready to bite.

“What was it then? I don’t see you helping out anyone unless there’s something in it for you.”

That comment made you angry, heat rising in your body like you were about to explode into flames. “Marlene, stop,” you warned her. She narrowed her eyes the tiniest bit, enough to see she wanted to say something else, but she didn’t. She let you continue uninterrupted.

“I left because I wanted to go find my brother, and I needed someone to travel with me. Aly wanted out, and that’s what she got. So we both benefited from the other,” you explained, your body struggling to relax as you tensed your muscles.

“Oh, I see. So that’s why you’re here. You’re looking for Tommy,” she sighed.

“Where is he?” you asked with an edge to your voice as you took one step closer so you could get a good look at Marlene’s face.

“He’s not here,” she replied with a blank face.

“What the fuck do you mean he’s not here?” you growled, your jaw tensing as you struggled not to lose your temper.

“He didn’t stay with us long, Joel. He’s been gone for a good while now. He said it didn’t feel right anymore, that this wasn’t what he wanted. He didn’t think our views aligned with his anymore, so he left,” she said as she shrugged her shoulders and looked up at you from the leather stool she sat in.

“Then where did he go?” you demanded, your voice raised.

“Last I heard he was settling down in Jackson, Wyoming. I haven’t talked to him in a few years. He seemed pretty adamant about staying there though. Think that’s where you’ll find him,” she said as she turned back to Aly, continuing to take out the stitches carefully.

“Jesus Christ,” you seethed as you ran a hand through your disheveled hair. You paced the room as your patience was wearing thin.

“It’s only about a day and a half to two days ride from here on horseback. Piece of cake,” Marlene replied as you continued to pace.

“Do you know how long it’s taken us to even get this far? All the shit we had to deal with? What Aly had to go through!” You were so angry, your voice blasting through the small room as it echoed across the walls. You could see some fireflies look in through the glass window and shift their guns, in case they needed to take action.

Aly tensed up at the last part, her hand grabbing the side of her dark jeans as she slowly looked up at you. Her eyes were heavy as she looked like she was sucked back into the past. She didn’t say anything though, she just focused on breathing. You watched as her chest gently expanded and pulled back in, her breaths shallow. You turned your scowl into a look of concern as you looked back at her.

“Whoa, Joel. Just calm down. Let’s talk this out without yelling, alright? You’re gonna have my men come barreling through that door if you’re not careful with your temper,” Marlene said as she turned and faced you with calm brown eyes.

You scowled again, but quickly relaxed your face and sighed. You walked back over to where Marlene and Aly sat and leaned up against the peeling wall, crossing your arms as you bit your tongue.

“Have you and Tommy kept in contact at all over the years?” she asked as she stared up at you.

“No. I haven’t heard from him since he left with your group,” you huffed out as you stared at the ground, the faded linoleum floor looking back at you. It had been so long since you last saw him, the details of him fading slightly from your memory.

“Damn. You two must’ve had a bad falling out then.”

You tensed at the thought, but shook it off nonchalantly. “You could say that. Thought it was finally time to try to tie loose ends and let the past be the past,” you responded as you looked back up at her as she worked on Aly’s arm. She was almost finished. So far so good.

“I think if you went and found him he’d welcome you back with open arms. Good on you for trying. That’s not something the old Joel I knew would do.”

“Well, I’m not the same person I used to be,” you said accusingly.

“Apparently not,” she barked back. She undid the last stitch and slowly took it out of Aly’s arm. “And there you go. Let me clean the area and put something over it, and you’ll be good to go,” she said as she got up and grabbed more supplies.

“Thanks, Marlene. Really,” Aly said with thankful eyes and a small smile registering on her lips.

“It was nothing, don’t mention it.” She came back to the table and started washing off the area and then patting it dry with a clean towel. The wound looked like it was healing nicely. It wasn’t raised anymore, it was more just a dull looking cut. You had been very thorough to clean it every night before she went to bed. That must’ve sped up the healing process because how it looked that first night was terrifying.

Marlene placed a loose bandage across it and gave Aly a small pat on the shoulder. “All done. Try not to soak it for 48 hours. After that you should be all good to keep it uncovered. Just be careful to not damage it anymore than it already is, got it?” She looked at Aly with a concentrated gaze, making sure she got the message.

“I got it. Thanks,” Aly responded as she slid off the table and walked over to you, stopping at your side. You let your fingers graze her arm, tracing the violet material of her flannel. You saw Marlene watching you with careful eyes, one eyebrow rising with curiosity. Guess she never expected you to genuinely care about anyone but yourself. You couldn’t blame her. You didn’t know you’d be in this position either, but here you were. Drawn to Aly like she was your saving grace.

She looked like she was about to comment on the way your hand was glued to Aly, but she decided not to. Instead she said something else. “There’s some fresh soup and cornbread down in the cafe. You both look famished. Why don’t you stay and have a bite to eat before you go back out in the cold? It’s the least I could offer you.”

You looked to Aly, wanting her opinion first. “That’d be great. We’ll take you up on that offer,” Aly said as she looked to Marlene.

“Excellent. Then come on, I’ll take you down to the cafe. The elevator is out of commission so we’ll have to take the stairs. Just follow me,” she said as she led you and Aly out of the small med room.

You were back out in the hall, making your way down the narrow corridor that was filled with old hospital beds left outside the rooms and small vines that were making their way through cracks in the splitting walls. Your footsteps could be heard throughout the hallway, echoing to the unknown.

The further down the hall you walked, the more equipment you started seeing. Empty rooms turned into fully stocked rooms that were filled with medical equipment, working machines, cameras, and boxes full to the brim with latex gloves. You saw doctors and nurses move frantically from room to room, keeping their conversations low. What the hell was all this?

“Marlene, what the fuck is going on here?” you hissed, getting ready to start yelling.

“I’ll fill you in once we sit down. A lot has been going on lately. Guess I can’t hide it. You’re already here, might as well tell you,” she sighed as she ran a hand through her hair, pulling her low ponytail tighter against her skull.

You looked over at your side and Aly was gone. “Aly?” you called out. You turned and saw her standing at the entrance of a room, focused intently on what was going on. You walked up behind her, standing just an inch from her as you looked over her shoulder at what she was looking so intently at.

There was a large, clear cased fridge with bottles of blood and other unknown things in vials. Scans of brains were sprawled out all over the musty walls. Charts of all sorts were scattered around the white counter that filled the length of the wall. Lastly there was a large microscope with slides underneath it. It looked like some kind of huge science experiment was underway. You had a feeling this had to do with the virus. What the hell were they up to?

Marlene pushed you and Aly out of the way and slammed the door shut. “You weren’t supposed to see that,” she said sharply, her voice low.

“Well we did,” you spit back.

Marlene sighed. Aly looked conflicted. She was lost in thought, her wheels grinding in her head. Something clicked as she looked up at Marlene, her blue eyes gazing intently at her.

“You’re trying to make a cure, aren’t you?” she asked. It wasn’t much of a question though, it was an accusation.

“Yes. We’ve been working on one for a while now. We have some of the best doctors here right now. They work day and night, putting all their efforts into finding a cure.” Marlene looked proud, almost like she believed it could be found.

Aly shook her head in disbelief. “No, they’ve already tried vaccine trials. None of them worked.”

“That’s because they didn’t have a secret weapon,” Marlene said as she winked at Aly.

“What secret weapon?” she asked quietly, not willing to believe anything else Marlene said.

“I’ll tell you downstairs, when you’re sitting down. Alright?” she asked as she looked at Aly, then at you. She was waiting on you to answer.

“Fine. Take us downstairs then. But then it’s fair game. You tell us everything we want to know. Got it?” you demanded with a glare.

“Fine by me,” she said as she turned and headed for the door that would lead downstairs. You and Aly quickly followed after her, right on her heels.

The stairwell was damp and cold, no heat coming in. There were cracks in the cement walls where you could feel the brisk wind come through. Your footsteps echoed through the stairwell the further you went down. Tension hung in the air the longer you stood in silence.

You finally made it to the first floor as you followed Marlene out the door. She turned the corner and came to a large, open cafe. The glass windows shined the light in as it reflected off the stained linoleum floor. A couple of fake plants were scattered around the cafe, and empty long tables sat in the middle of the room.

“Sit down, I’ll go grab some bowls. I’ll be right back,” Marlene said as she disappeared behind some old, squeaky double doors.

You could hear low sounds of conversation being had behind the doors as you and Aly made your way to a single white off shade table and sat down. She sat right next to you, the side of her knee touching yours.

“I’ve got a weird feeling about this place. The experiments they’re doing. I don’t know, I just have a bad feeling,” Aly said quietly as her voice barely scratched the surface.

You placed a hand on her knee softly and drew tiny circles as you imprinted your thumb mark on her denim jeans. “You’re not alone. This place definitely has weird vibes. I may know Marlene, but there’s some things she’s not telling us,” you said quietly as you looked around, making sure no one was listening in on you.

“After we eat we should leave. I don’t like it here,” she said with a shaky breath.

“Right after we get all our weapons and our bags back, we will.” You gave her knee a gentle squeeze as Marlene and a firefly came out of the kitchen, carrying bowls of soup and cornbread. The firefly quickly set the bowls down and headed straight back into the kitchen.

“And here you go, fresh potato soup and cornbread. Some of the best eating for when it’s cold out,” Marlene said as she sat down on the opposite side of the table.

You slowly picked up the spoon and dipped it in the soup, scooping out a big piece of cornbread along with it. You brought the spoon up to your mouth and tasted the creamy potato soup and fresh cornbread as it slid down your throat. It was hot and delicious, you couldn’t deny that. Aly seemed to be enjoying hers as well.

Before you took another bite, you decided to get down to business. “Alright spill it, what were you gonna say upstairs?” you asked as you set your eyes on Marlene as she downed a bite of soup.

She sighed before she spoke, getting prepared for whatever she was going to tell you. “We’ve been working on a cure for awhile now. So far no luck, but we recently got something new. Something that will help us find a cure.”

She strummed her fingers on the table, contemplating whether to tell you or not. “Spit it out,” you said as you put some edge to your tone.

“There’s a girl. She was bit by an infected, but she’s immune. She never turned…” She glanced up slowly as she studied yours and Aly’s faces.

Aly about choked on her bite of food as she coughed for air. “Immune? How? That doesn’t seem possible.” She was stunned, her eyes wide as she stared at Marlene. She dropped her spoon on the table, and the sound rang through the cafe.

“Marlene? Is this true?” you asked with disbelief. Your eyes were probably as large as an owl’s in the nighttime.

“Believe it or not, but it’s true. She’s as real as a 14 year old can be,” she said proudly.

“How…how did you find this girl?” Aly asked with a shocked expression on her face, her blue eyes focused.

“I took her in when her mom died. Although she hasn’t been with me much. She grew up in a FEDRA military school. I kept my eyes on her, until I got notified that she snuck off one night. Found her later the next night and she had been bitten, so I brought her back with me to keep an eye on. I thought she would’ve turned that night, but she never did. So I brought her here. She’s going to cure the entire world, Joel. Can you believe it?” she asked with excitement in her voice, a big smile forming across her mouth.

“Hold on. How do you know it would even work?” Aly asked with a concerned glare.

“The doctors are working hard to get the cure ready. After the operation, I think they’ll have it,” she said confidently.

“What operation?” you daunted, your eyes narrowing.

“The surgery. They’re going to open up her brain and dissect it. The cordyceps fungal infection grows on the brain. Well they did some scans, and hers wasn’t growing any. It’s just staying dormant in her brain. So they’re going to take it out and study it.”

“That would kill her,” Aly said accusingly.

“Unfortunately, it might,” Marlene said knowingly. “This is an opportunity to get somewhere with a cure though.”

“Does she know what she’s signing up for?” You rested your elbows on the table and leaned forward, getting a better look at Marlene.

“She knows she has a chance to help society, that’s all she needs to know. I didn’t want to scare her out of the surgery, but unfortunately we have a problem. She ran off yesterday, right before she was supposed to get prepped for surgery. Some of the men are out there right now looking for her. So far nothing,” she said as she sighed and shook her head.

“Jesus Christ,” you answered, running a hand across your jaw. “It sounds like she didn’t want to go through with it.”

“We’ll find her. She has to be found. We need to get a cure,” she said with a concrete voice.

“What’d you do to her?” Aly asked in disgust.

“What do you mean?” Marlene asked with a raised eyebrow.

“You said you’ve been running tests. I saw all those vials of blood. What have you been doing with those? And don’t try to cover it up. Just tell the truth,” Aly said roughly as she glared at Marlene. That’s my girl.

“We’ve been taking her blood, trying different vaccine trials with it. A lot of volunteers have gladly donated themselves to the cause. We’ve had many different patients here take the vaccine trials.”

“And? What happened to those guinea pigs?”

Marlene was silent as she looked down at the ground, shaking her head slowly. “They all died…”

“Holy shit,” Aly answered as she gasped. “How many patients did you have?”

“Over 50…”

“Jesus,” she answered in shock. “And you expect this surgery to work? And how the hell would one little girl treat an entire population? It’s impossible. No, it’s actually insane,” she said as she pushed back her chair and stood up.

You stood up after her and kicked the chair in. “I think we’ve had enough for today, Marlene. Now if you’d be so kind as to get our bags and weapons, we’ll see ourselves out.” You folded your arms across your chest and frowned at her, showing her just how done you were.

“Joel…Aly…I’m just trying to do what’s best here. You’ve got to believe me,” she pleaded with heavy eyes.

“Look you can do whatever the fuck you want to do, but we’ll have no part in this. Got it? We’re just gonna go on our way and leave you and the rest of the fireflies to do what you need to do. But don’t ask us for a damn thing. We won’t help,” you glowered.

She sighed and nodded her head. “Fair enough. Your bags and weapons are just outside of here. I’ll have one of my men grab your horse. Kenny!” she yelled in the direction of the kitchen. An older man with a blonde buzz cut and combat attire came out of the swinging door at attention. “Be a dear and go get their horse for me. Just bring it up to the front. We’ll be right outside.” The man nodded and hurried off in the opposite direction.

“Are you sure I can’t convince you two to stay just one night? Get some rest. There’s plenty of empty beds here.”

“No.” It came out hard as you put your foot down. “We’re leaving, now.”

“Suit yourself. Follow me, I’ll show you where your things are.” She led you out the side exit door from the cafe, and it led you outside near the front.

The air was crisp and chilly. You pulled your jacket a little tighter and saw Aly pull her white jacket back on. You turned the corner and saw a small pile of your backpacks and weapons.

“Your men didn’t steal anything from us did they?” you asked suspiciously.

“No, I made sure of it. It’s all there,” she said with a promising look.

“Good.” Your face was tense from flexing your jaw. This whole place gave you the creeps. You needed to get the hell out of here.

Kenny brought Shimmer around the front, hauling her by the reins. Shimmer neighed happily when she saw you and Aly. Her shiny coat glistened in the sun, and she looked like she was well rested.

“Hey, Shimmer. I missed you,” Aly said as she walked up to her and stroked her back. Shimmer leaned into her touch, and Aly laughed with joy filling her voice. You smiled at the view, Aly’s smile becoming one of your favorite things.

You quickly loaded up the bags on Shimmer and situated the rifle around your back, tucking the knife and handgun into your pockets. Aly did the same except this time she took the shotgun and strapped it around her back. Look at her, taking on the bigger gun. Atta girl.

You were about to hop up on Shimmer, but a pair of hands stopped you, pulling you back. “Joel, gonna have to ask you for a favor. If you somehow find her on your way to Jackson, bring her back. Please. She’s wearing a purple jacket and Converse shoes. She has a bite mark on her inner right lower arm, short brown hair and green eyes. Her name is Ellie.” Marlene stared at you with dark brown eyes, her gaze weighing in on you.

“I’m not going to be a part of this, Marlene. I’m not with the fireflies,” you said back harshly.

“Joel, I’m not asking. Bring her back.” She was glaring at you with crossed arms.

“Is that a threat?”

“Could be. Don’t think you want to find out.”

Your jaw tightened as your eyes narrowed into tiny slits. “Have your own men do your dirty work. I’m not a smuggler anymore and I sure as hell am not going to be getting involved in this.” Your voice raised, the veins in your neck bulging.

Marlene scowled as she looked at you with hatred swaying in her eyes. “Watch your back, Joel Miller. You don’t want to be on the wrong side when shit hits the fan.”

You gave her one more hard glare before you turned on your heel and jumped up on Shimmer’s back. Before Aly could take your hand, Marlene put a hand on her shoulder and turned her around to face her.

“You be careful with this one. I wouldn’t trust him if I were you,” she warned Aly as she flicked her eyes up to you and then back down to Aly. Blood boiled in your body, you wanted to snap her in half for what she just said. Trying to get Aly to turn on you. Fucking bitch.

Aly tore Marlene’s hand off her shoulder as she backed up to Shimmer. “I trust him with my whole life, thanks though. You’re not gonna tear me away from this one,” she spat at Marlene as she put her hand in yours, and you pulled her up on Shimmer.

“Joel,” Marlene tried again with more urgency.

“Goodbye, Marlene,” you said sternly as you pulled on the reins, making Shimmer make a dash for it. You slashed the reins again, and Shimmer moved like lightning. Aly grabbed on to you tight, her arms squeezing your abs forcefully as Shimmer’s hooves stomped the ground.

The wind blew through your hair as the high pitched whistle of the breeze sounded through your ears. You needed to get away from the hospital as fast as possible before you did something you’d regret. Your anger always got the best of you, now you needed to control yourself.

You looked back behind you as the hospital and city started disappearing, getting smaller and smaller the further Shimmer carried you. As soon as you crossed into a sea of trees you slowed Shimmer down, almost to a complete stop as she slowly trotted ahead.

Aly loosened her grip on you and sighed. “So that was Marlene.” It was more a statement than a question as it left her mouth.

“A ray of sunshine isn’t she?” you asked sarcastically.

You felt the quiet shake in her chest as she let out a small laugh and then her voice went serious. “Can you believe it? A girl that’s immune to the virus?”

You went quiet, thinking about everything that Marlene said. “I don’t really know what to think of it,” you said honestly. It was a lot to process.

“Why do you think she ran away?”

“Apparently she didn’t want to be studied like a lab rat anymore,” you said as you looked around the area. You grabbed the map out of your pocket and studied it, deciding which way you’d go. Wyoming was just north east of here, so you were on the right track. You folded up the fading map and placed it back in your pocket. “We should be there in a day or two, depending on how much ground we cover today,” you said as Aly looked over your shoulder.

“What if we find Ellie?” she asked quietly, questions brewing inside her.

“We won’t,” you said with a hard edge to your voice.

“But what if we did. What would you do?” There was a burning question hanging on her lips. She wanted to know what you would do. You hadn’t thought about it because it wasn’t going to be your business. You weren’t going to take in or help a little girl period. You had no desire to get involved with this. You owed Marlene nothing, and you sure as hell didn’t want to see her face again or have her hunt you down.

“Absolutely nothing. I’m not getting involved. And besides, we ain’t gonna find her,” you said with finality in your voice.

Aly sighed behind you. You could feel her wanting to say something, holding whatever it was inside. You rolled your eyes and asked. “What? Go ahead and say whatever it is you want to.”

“I just…if she ran away she must be so scared. Out here all alone. I just feel bad, that’s all. Who knows what all they did to her back at the hospital. I just hope she’s okay.”

You looked out of the corner of your eye and saw that worried look she had in her gaze. Those blue eyes were staring out into the unknown, her eyebrows furrowed, the gears in her head grinding. She looked distressed, conflicted.

“Look, I don’t necessarily agree with what they were doing back there either, but it’s out of our hands.”

“Guess so…” Her voice trailed off as it carried through the wind. She was upset. You ran your hand through your tousled hair as the wind blew it back and sighed. There was nothing you could say about the situation to put her at ease, so you just stopped talking about it.

The rest of the ride was silent, tense as the day dragged on. You didn’t really feel like getting into a heavy conversation, so you just kept quiet. Aly was clearly upset with everything that had happened earlier, and you wish you never would’ve ran into the fireflies now.

The silence was killing you, so you turned around and looked straight into her diamond eyes as you sat a hand on her thigh. She responded by putting her hand on top of yours. It was warm, comforting. A feeling you invited, craved.

“You alright?” you asked as you studied her eyes, watching the way her chest rose and fell in waves with every breath she took. Watching the way her long eyelashes fluttered every time she blinked.

“I’m okay, promise,” she said with a smile that crept up to the sides of her lips. Those rosy, lush lips. Lips you wanted to sink into. You took your gaze off her lips and followed the trail back up to her eyes.

You knew deep down something was still bothering her, but you didn’t want to push your luck. So you just nodded your head and gave her one last squeeze as you took your hand off her thigh and turned back around.

After a few seconds she leaned into you and wrapped her arms around your waist. You breathed out a sigh of relief as you took one of your hands and stroked hers in return, your fingertips sliding over her smooth skin as the breeze picked up.

“Let’s just find Tommy and hope we can finally rest somewhere in peace,” she breathed against your back.

“We’ll find him, don’t worry.” You hoped you were right. Tommy was the last stop, and you needed it to be a safe space. For you and Aly’s sake.

-

Evening rolled around fast as the day faded away, the sunset high in the sky. It was about to be dark and you still hadn’t found shelter for the night. As the day turned into dusk, the cold air became more bitter. Snow still stuck to the ground with no sign of it going away anytime soon.

“Joel, how much longer? I’m so tired,” Aly slurred into your ear, her body hanging against you as she leaned all her weight into you.

“Not much longer, baby. Just let me scope out an area that’s at least covered. That wind is too cold to be out in the open. Just hold on,” you said assuring her as you ran your thumb across the back of her hand.

She hummed in acknowledgment as she took in your gentle graze across her hand. “Mkay,” she lulled.

You looked left and right, looking for just the right place to stop for the night. There were no houses to be seen anywhere, just endless trees, mountains and forests. There had to be something around here. You wouldn’t give up.

You went about another mile until you heard a slight noise to your left, ahead of you. It sounded like someone was crying or whimpering. You couldn’t tell which it was.

You slowed Shimmer’s trot down to a slow walk, wanting to sneak up on whoever was around the corner. Aly must’ve heard it too cause she was now sitting up straight and was on guard.

“Did you hear that too?” you asked her as you turned to look at her face.

“What was that?” she asked quietly.

“I don’t know, but we’re about to find out.”

Shimmer slowly walked up to where the sound was heard, neighing softly as her footsteps were light in the snow. She took a few more steps, and Aly gasped. “Joel, stop!” She grabbed the reins and halted Shimmer. “Look!”

You turned to the left to see what she was looking at, and the moment you did your breath caught. You couldn’t tell if your mind was playing tricks on you or not, but what stood behind a large sequoia tree shocked the hell out of you. A girl with a purple jacket, baggy blue jeans and Converse stood peeking out from behind the trunk of the tree. Green eyes gazed back at you nervously. She had short brown hair and freckles scattered lightly across her nose. She looked both timid and anxious like she could either pounce or run away at any second.

It was the girl Marlene had told you about. Ellie. “Holy shit,” you breathed as you stared at her, unable to move. Not knowing what the hell to do.

Without even comprehending what was happening you felt Aly’s weight shift behind you, then she was jumping down off Shimmer. “Aly, don’t!” you hissed at her trying to stop her, but it was too late. She was slowly inching her way over to where Ellie was.

Goddamn it.

Chapter 23

Series Masterlist

[is-she-suffering]

QUEEN ADREENA VS DAVID CRONENBERG'S CRASH

In December 2002 Queenadreena provided a live soundtrack to David Cronenberg’s movie adaptation of J.G. Ballard's novel „Crash”.

The one-night-only event was hosted in the Institute of Contemporary Arts in London on December 13th. The band was joined by ex Daisy Chainsaw bassist Richard Adams.

The band couldn’t pick a more fitting movie – „Crash” is a movie based on a J.G. Ballard’s novel of the same name, considered by many to be quite controversial due of its disturbing subject. It tells the story of individuals taking sexual pleasure from watching and participating in car accidents.

Katie Jane Garside: "I like standing on a knife edge in order to force the envelope and get something interesting happen. It's no coincidence that we were chosen to do 'Crash', what with the voyeuristic nature of car accidents. We'll put a bomb under it and see what happens."

A song called "Roadkill" was debuted onstage that night, never to be played live again. The song tells a story of a young girl killed in a motorway accident. "Roadkill" hasn’t found its way to any of Queen Adreena’s albums, but a 4-track demo was later released on Katie Jane's solo album Lullabies in Glass Wilderness.

Unfortunately, there’s no audio or video of this show available. A short review taken from Kerrang! Magazine (the band got 4/5 rating):

Classic Cronenberg film gets new art-punk soundtrack. THE PAIRING of David Cronenberg's 1998 film 'Crash' and ex-Daisy Chainsaw led avant-garde noise conjurers Queen Adreena was never going to be easy on the eyes or ears. For those of you who haven't seen it, 'Crash' is a film about a group of deranged individuals who derive sexual pleasure from car crashes. And for those who haven't seen them, Queen Adreena are an art-rock band with an equally worrying deviant streak. As the credits roll and the band assume their positions in front of the screen, Crispin Gray picks the moody, sombre melody of 'Kitty Collar Tight' from his guitar as singer Katie Jane Garside starts to weave her magic across the stage. Garside's compelling stage presence and beautiful, ethereal vocal style perfectly offsets the unhinged sexual nature of the film. Placing their music within the context of the movie leaves the audience dazed and confused as the final credits roll. Tonight more so than ever, Queen Adreena truly assault our senses. More power to them.

Another review:

QUEEN ADREENA VS DAVID CRONENBERG'S CRASH

ICA, London - December 2002

No one is quite sure what to expect tonight. Will Queen Adreena play for the entire duration of Cronenberg's controversial movie (which lasts twice as long as their normal set) or just during the 'highlights'?

The night begins amusingly with thirty minutes of vintage black and white Road Safety public information films. These provided some laughs, as various members of the supposedly ignorant public nonchalantly strolled out in front of rapidly moving vehicles, before being berated by a fussy old narrator.

Onto the main event: the band amble onto the stage as the movie begins, and a new slow song spills out over the opening credits. And there's a new bassist too! The after-show rumour seemed to confirm that the man with the bass was none other than Richard Adams, their ex-Daisy Chainsaw band mate. It seems I had been watching three-quarters DC and didn't even know it!

Back to the movie: subtitles are kept on throughout; the soundtrack is on, but only audible when the band stop playing. Some songs are slightly extended to keep the pacing accurate. The superb Pretty Like Drugs comes early on; one more song then the music ends so we can watch a dialogue scene. This sets the pattern for the night: we get a string of three or four songs over the driving and screwing, and then the music pauses for dialogue scenes. Curiously, we are allowed to view James Spader humping Rosanna Arquette's leg-wound in all it's original glory. The second batch of songs climaxes with the James Dean car-crash recreation, which means that the onscreen audience are clapping at the same time as we are.

So, does the noisy music work well with Cronenberg's copulation and carnage? Well, to be honest, standing right in front of the band, I keep tending to forget that a film is even playing. But when I do glance at it, I am reminded that „Crash” has far more nudity than I remembered. Shit, I hope Tesco's develop my snapshots with no problems.

Queen Adreena never give a bad show, and this is no exception. Very interesting to see them in a non-moshing environment too. And after that it's time to return home to the Heathrow area, where J. G. Ballard set the 180 original „Crash” novel. All this on the day Barry Norman, with thirty years of movie reviewing experience, said live on TV that Cronenberg's „Shivers” is "the worst movie of all time" (whatta tosser - Ed). God knows what he would have made of tonight's extraordinary event at the ICA... JASON PYKE

[theboarsbride]

ok sorry in advance for bothering you, feel free to tell me to get lost, but i was wondering if you, the resident expert, have any monster romance recs that aren’t way too. nsfw i guess? maybe it’s just me but i’m having a hard time finding any. like i’m more interested in the slow burn and the romance but the genre seems to be mainly fast paced erotica and i just can’t get into it

OOh!!! No need to be sorry, I'm always happy to answer stuff like this and talk about (cleaner) monster romances!! I'm honored you'd consider me an expert, though! 🥺💛I feel like I don't actually talk about monster romances all that much!

But I agree that it can be hard to find a monster romance that isn't erotica. Not that erotica isn't good, I just like seeing slow burn romances, too!

I wish I could provide a longer list, but here's what I got so far! (and if anyone finds this and wants to add onto this list, feel free to do so in comments, tags, reblogs, etc)

I will provide links/titles to these stories, say the genre(s), provide a short synopsis in my own words, and then say why I recommend it below the cut!

Axiom's End by Lindsay Ellis | sci-fi, alternate history, conspiracy fiction, action/adventure

"An alternate history novel set in 2008 where whistleblower Nils Ortega leaks information to the public that the US government is secretly harboring extraterrestrial refugees. Cora Sabino, Nils' daughter, finds herself developing a connection with one of these aliens after inadvertently becoming the sole communication between humans and aliens."

This series is fucking great!! Admittedly, the monster/alien romance take more of a backseat to the larger plot, and mostly focuses on themes surrounding humanity, human rights, language, trauma, etc. Ellis does such a great job at writing characters that are just so... human, and deep. There is so much complexity and nuance that goes into this series, and just... it's so good! Definitely recommend if you're more into the super slow burns, alien romances, alien action movies like Michael Bay's Transformers series or Independence Day.

"The Courtship of Mr. Lyon" and "The Tiger's Bride" in The Bloody Chamber by Angela Carter | Gothic, feminist fiction, fairytale retelling, horror, anthology

"'The Courtship of Mr. Lyon' follows the romance between Beauty and Beast after Beauty's father takes one of the lion-faced Beast's white roses while taking shelter following a car accident; in 'The Tiger's Bride' a young woman is sent to live with a mysterious masked man after her father gambles her away in a game of cards."

Honestly this book, though a collection of short stories, is one of my all-time favorite books! Carter's writing style is so, so gorgeous and lyrical, and she provides such fantastic, dark, moody, gory, horrific feminist fairytales. Her story "The Bloody Chamber" is also worth checking out! Honestly, this whole book is great!

Beauty: A Retelling of Beauty and the Beast and Rose Daughter by Robin McKinley | Fantasy, romance, fairytale retelling

"Classic Beauty and the Beast retellings."

Despite both being BATB retellings by the same author, both are so, so good in their own ways! While Beauty is way more classic and straightforward in its retelling, the characters are so endearing, the fantasy world is enchanting, and the writing is so *chefs kiss*. Rose Daughter is much the same, only slightly more adult in its tone and writing style - and its ending!

The Shape of Water by Guillermo del Toro and Daniel Kraus | Romance, historical

"A mute janitor working in a high-security government facility falls in love with an amphibious creature."

Yeah, yeah, this is basically the novelized version of the movie lmao. I've not read the whole novel itself, but it's not half-bad!! It's decent enough - though I still feel like the movie to be better. Still worth checking out, I think!

Frankenstein's Monster by Susan Heyboer O'Keefe | Historical

"A sequel, of sorts, to Mary Shelley's classic novel. What becomes of Frankenstein's monster after Frankenstein dies? Where does he go, left to wander the earth?"

Not really a romance, per say, but there are SOME elements of romance! Mostly, this book follows Frankenstein's monster following the OG novel, who he all meets, and it is very much a character study on the monster! It's super fascinating, but its writing style is super similar to Mary Shelley's, so this very much reads like a classic novel. Honestly, I love how O'Keefe was able to mimic Shelley's style so well! But, again, romance is way more lowkey and this is more of a character study than anything else. Definitely reccomend if you loved the OG Shelley novel!

Beauty and the Beast by Megan Kearny | Webcomic, romance, fantasy, fairytale retelling

"A retelling of Beauty and the Beast."

Beautifully illustrated and wonderfully told, this comic is just SO GOOD!! It very much has the same vibes as Robin McKinley's novels, and is steeped in a cozy fantasy atmosphere! The characters are so loveable, the story intriguing, and just AAAUUGGGHHH SO GORGEOUS!!

Netvor: Beauty and the Beast by @rosesnwater | Fantasy, romance, fairytale retelling

"Aceline Capet swears to slay the monster Netvor that lurks in the forest surrounding her village - and ends up becoming entrenched in the world of magic and monsters and Fae."

LEGIT JUST UGH!!!!!!!! THIS NOVEL IS SO FUCKING GOOD!! Legit this is one of my all-time favorite reads from this year! If you love fantasy featuring actual, lore-accurate faeries and super intriguing slow burn romance with endearing characters, please please PLEASE check this out!!!!!!! I SWEAR YOU WONT BE DISSAPOINTED!! Definitely recommend if you love fantasy movies like Legend, Labyrinth, Thumbelina, Howl's Moving Castle, Disney's Beauty and the Beast, etc. or books like Naomi Novik's Uprooted, Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream, Robin McKinley's work, etc.! It also currently being rewritten as a(n equally beautiful) webcomic that should definitely be checked out as well!

That Which We Call Beast by @raph-fangirl | Historical fiction, romance, fairytale retelling

"A young woman is seeking marriage, and comes into contact with a mysterious bachelor that hides himself from her behind a veil."

Basically if Jane Austen wrote Beauty and the Beast! Definitely a well-written slow burn! It's not completed yet, but with what's available to read it's legit so beautiful!! The prose is so well-crafted, and it legit feels as though I'm reading an Austen novel! Definitely recommend if you love films like the 2005 adaptation of Pride and Prejudice!

Then uhhhh not to toot my own horn but if you wanna read a Victorian Era Gothic romance-horror BATB retelling with a pathetic meow-meow of a monster I offer my story The Monster and the Butterfly- 🤲🥺

These are all the recs I have for now! Again, if there are any you'd like to add, whether they be published, a friend's online work, or your own work!! I hope these are helpful and satisfactory enough for ya!

Again, I love talking about monster romances, thank you so so much for this ask!!!! 🥺💛

[appears]

25th Anniversary

Faye Wong: Eyes On Me (1999.02.24)

While I'm not much of a gamer now, I used to play video games a lot when I was in grade school, and my top two favorite game franchises of all time also reflect two of my favorite video game soundtracks of all time: the original Spyro the Dragon trilogy, composed by Stewart Copeland (and famously, tragically, never officially released in either physical or digital format until very recently), and Final Fantasy VIII, composed by the prolific Nobuo Uematsu, who wrote the music for the Final Fantasy franchise in whole or in part through Final Fantasy XI.

Besides the gorgeous orchestral arrangements that make up the bulk of the soundtrack's sprawling four discs, there was also a notable vocal version of the central love theme. The central romantic story line in FFVIII was a notable game-changer for many young people who might not have found any reason to play video games before, bringing in many new players who would grow up to help expand the demand for alternative gaming, so its importance cannot be understated. The love theme between the characters Squall and Rinoa (and Laguna and Julie/Raine) was sung by ultra-popular Hong Kong-native Faye Wong, one of the most well-known figures in Asian pop culture at the time. Besides a storied career in films, Wong also had a history in popular music, having recorded several of her most well-known albums throughout the 1990s. I'm not sure how Uematsu was able to snag her for this soundtrack, but it created that delightful moment when the perfect song meets the perfect singer. "Eyes on Me" was released in Japan in February 1999, about two weeks after the release of the video game, and is a sweeping love ballad expanding upon the themes heard throughout the game, notably with cues like "Waltz for the Moon" and "Julia" (in fact, Wong is singing as the character Julia in the game, who is confessing her feelings toward Laguna during a performance). Wong's voice is lithe enough to keep the song light and sweet, rather than moody, which is perfect for the tone of the game, which is exciting, occasionally dangerous, and sometimes sad, but never dark or grim. There are many beautiful instrumental iterations of this theme throughout the game, but the song plays in its full vocal glory only twice: once toward the back half of the game, and again with an expanded orchestral arrangement upon the game's completion. They're all fantastic.

The single's c/w track is "ACACIA no Mi," a ballad composed by Jim Lau, this time sung in Mandarin. It's a pretty, though somewhat anemic, slow number that fits the mood of the disc, but of course comes nowhere near the grace and beauty of the A-side. The single finishes with the instrumental version of "Eyes on Me."

The single came in standard 3" mini-disc packaging, with the lyrics and credits written on the back of the cover. Not surprisingly, this song ended up being one of the most popular video game songs of all time, second only to Hikaru Utada's "Hikari," written for Kingdom Hearts. It hit #9 on the Oricon chart, which was also pretty impressive at that time for a song from a video game. The entire soundtrack to Final Fantasy VIII is incredible and merits many more words of analysis and praise, but this post is just for the game's most well-known song -- the four-disc soundtrack proper was released one week later. Like the rest of the OST, "Eyes on Me" has aged incredibly well, and still sounds as beautiful as the day it was released, a testament to both Faye Wong's impeccable vocals and Uematsu's bottomless capacity for moving melodies.

Catalog Number: TODT-5271

[narcissistcookbook]

okay......anime. I'm sending a lot because I'm not entirely sure what you like? perhaps none of these? please ignore it as needed haha I am mainly getting it out of my system.

SERIOUS FARE - drama, action, adrenaline, feelings

Cowboy Bebop (1 Season, Complete) - slick, gritty, moody, jazzy, impeccably animated. neo-noir space-western about a crew of oddballs on a little spaceship just trying to get by. sometimes goofy, sometimes sad, always a favorite.

Chainsaw Man (1 Season So Far) - an impoverished, immature young man whose dreams include "eating some nice food" and "touching a girl" finds himself swept up in a career that allows him to do both those things and more, to varying degrees of satisfaction. also he can turn his body into chainsaws. it's coming-of-age it's horror it's action it's more found family it's good.

Violet Evergarden (1 Season, Complete) - some controversial choices were made for the adjacent movie, but the show is so good even standing alone. a traumatized child soldier slowly reconnects with her emotions by writing letters for other people. that's basically the whole story. made me cry a lot.

THE FUNNY PAGES - for when you need a laugh!

Spy x Family (1 Season, 2nd Incoming) - a delightful situational comedy set in Definitely Not Cold War Germany about a spy, his cover wife whom he does not know is an assassin, and his adopted daughter whom he does not know is a psychic. featuring moments of genuinely compelling found family connection.

Monthly Girls' Nozaki-kun (1 Season, Complete) - a girl summons the courage to confess to her crush. a series of misunderstandings ensues and doesn't stop ensuing. more mistaken identity goofiness, a cast full of charming dumbasses, and some insights into life as a manga artist. also another bangin theme song.

TOASTY'S TOP 3 - my absolute favorites

Vinland Saga (2 Seasons, 3rd Seemingly Confirmed) - you follow me so you are probably at least aware of this and whether it looks like something you'd enjoy but I have to include it. a viking-era tale of trauma, war, revenge, redemption, masculinity, religion, politics, philosophy, and more! season one is the prologue, where the antagonist is (imo) the secret main character. season two answers the unmitigated violence of season one with the povs of normal working people who end up as collateral damage, and also pays off one of season one's earliest setups in a huge fantastic way imo. it's idealistic without ever failing to acknowledge the pain that comes when idealism meets reality. I love it.

Run With the Wind (2 Seasons, Complete) - there aren't a whole lot of sports anime for older audiences, but this is one of them and I rewatch it on a yearly basis. you have to kind of slow yourself down for it--most shonen sports anime are brisk, high-octane fun-times, but this one (a college-age series about the most Underdog of Underdog Track Teams) really takes its time building up the characters and environment, and chemistry between the dual opposites-attract leads is so heartwrenchingly beautiful. they complete each other! they love each other! what does it mean to run? why do we run even if we know we can't win?! the answers to these things are found within each other!!

Mob Psycho 100 (3 Seasons, Complete) -slapstick, drama, mindblowing action scenes--this is another one that needs a little time to start showing you what it is, but there's so much heart in this dang show. a hymn to all things mundane and ordinary, a rumination on the dangers of suppressing one's emotions, a story about a middle schooler who tries not to use his Unlimited Psychic Powers and a fraud exorcist who pretends to have powers but doesn't. absolutely worth the watch.

BONUS LIGHTNING ROUND

Shirobako (a stressfully/excellently accurate anime about the anime industry, the only cute-girls-doing-cute-things show I like), Keep Your Hands off Eizouken (weird girls making amateur anime in high school), Blue Period (for if you want to have an existential crisis about ART), Kaiji (Squid Game before Squid Game), The Great Pretenders (Robin Hood-ass confidence artists pulling off HEISTS), Haikyuu (my favorite younger-audiences sports anime, get hype for VOLLEYBALL), Beastars (the Furry One, gorgeous 3d animation, dark and weird and wild), and Neon Genesis Evangelion (surreal horror sci-fi/fantasy, "mechs" vs. apocalyptic "angels", I haven't seen it but it's a standard and also I've been told not to watch it while depressed)

ANYWAY thanks for receiving this absolute infodump, do what you will with it!!

okay but honestly i didn't know cowboy bebop was one and done, i can commit to that

[wowbright]

Fic: Wounded

Klaine Word Scramble No. 4

Fandom/Pairing: Glee, Kurt/Blaine

Words: ~ 800 words                                           

Rating: Teen and Up

Summary: Kurt comes to a decision.

A vignette from my Mormon!Klaine universe. I do not recommend reading this if you have recently started Out of Eden, because this will not make any sense and also be a little spoilery. If you’ve been reading the vignettes for years, though, enjoy! (Or don't enjoy. This one's a bit moody if you don't know what's coming next.)

This vignette takes place after I’ll Always Belong to You  and before To Tell the Truth.

My Mormon!Klaine Masterpost.

___________

At 4 a.m., Kurt finally gave up on trying to fall back asleep. He gave Stürmchen a final scritch under the chin, gathered her into his arms, and set her gently at Blaine’s feet. Blaine shifted in his sleep, making room for her behind his knees.

This was the last time Kurt would ever see Blaine sleeping. He wished there were more light in the room, that he could make out more than vague shadows, that he could see the dark line of Blaine’s eyelashes against his cheeks.

But this was how it had to be. Every true desire Kurt would ever feel in his life would go unfulfilled. That was the path God had chosen for him.

Kurt grabbed his running tights and a T-shirt and left the room without ceremony. He changed in the bathroom. He'd forgotten his socks, but he wasn't going to go back in, so he tied on his shoes, addressed a note to Elder Anderson, and left it on the kitchen table with his phone and nametag before heading out the apartment door.

Kurt was breaking a rule. But he'd broken them before: unsupervised meetings with female investigators, sleepovers and slow dances with his companion, jerking off in the shower—going for a run by himself was hardly the worst infraction. And he needed to be alone. He couldn't think clearly when he was around Blaine. He let himself believe things that weren't true. He lulled himself into thinking Blaine could love him back in the same way Kurt loved him.

Because that's what it felt like, when Blaine took his hands in the hills of Allgäu and leaned against him on the train and danced with him slowly across the living room, his cheek on Kurt's shoulder, his lips echoing the sweet, impossible words of a love song. That's what is felt like, not only yesterday, but so many times before.

Sometimes, when Blaine looked at him, Kurt felt like God had created them for each other, like two puzzle pieces that snapped together perfectly.

And maybe God had. But not the way Kurt wanted. Kurt had wanted it so badly that he’d convinced himself, the night before, that Blaine was going to tell him the words he'd always longed to hear. It had seemed that way when Blaine spoke his name at the end of their dance, pronouncing the single syllable with the same reverence he said his prayers. Kurt had expected a confession of the best kind, thought the only reason it hadn't come forth was because Dani had interrupted them with her knocking.

So after she left, Kurt waited. He waited through their cleaning up and getting ready for bed, through their evening prayers when Blaine thanked Heavenly Father for their beautiful day and their wonderful companionship. He thought, after their “amen”s, when Blaine looked into his eyes the same way he had at the end of their dance, that Blaine was going to say it: I love you. I've always loved you. Not as a brother, but the way Jonathan loves David.

Kurt’s sneakers pounding against the pavement made a steady, soothing sound. Somewhere a few streets off, a car was finding its way down the road. A bird or two twittered from the bushes, heralding the imminent arrival of dawn.

Kurt was so stupid. Blaine would never say that. Blaine thought Jonathan and David were just friends, because Blaine was so freaking straight that it didn’t even occur to him what his touches and looks and words and kisses and kindness did to Kurt. He loved Kurt and had no idea how much that love wounded him. To Blaine, everything was pure and simple and good. Sex and romance never figured into the connection between them.

Kurt was unraveling. So it had to end. He would run and pray until he could return to the apartment without saying something stupid. It wasn't going to be like last time, after the concert. He wasn't going to get angry at Blaine, and he wasn't going to give him the silent treatment, and he wasn't going to cry. They would have breakfast and do their morning studies like every other companionship in the mission. And then Kurt would excuse himself for a minute, shut himself in the bedroom, and call Elder St. James. It would be easy to tell him. Elder St. James already knew half of it. All Kurt had to do was tell him the other half. And then Elder St. James would call the mission president, and the mission president would call Kurt, and before the day was out, Kurt would be on a train to somewhere else and Blaine would have a new companion.

President Steele was reasonable. He wouldn't send Kurt home for wanting. He would give him a new companion who was annoying and had repulsive habits, and Kurt would bury himself in the work until it was time to go home.

[finalgirlguy]

fav first watches of october 🦇🌬🍂

house of usher (1960) – a complete gothic nightmare it was so charming in that 60s celluloid feel. and vincent price was serving cunt like his life depended on it. the red wax of the candles and the house falling apart it was all so gorgeous and moody

orlando, my political biography (2023) – it was. so beautiful. just so beautiful and honest. and its love for all trans people and all of their similarities and differences and experiences and loves. I love paul b preciado and really need to read more of his stuff. and it was also an essay on the role of medical institutions and political institutions on the construction of gender like ugh it was just so good.

all of us strangers – ohhhhh my god. when you're a lonely little child you will always be lonely and it grows around you it fills your entire life. andrew scott and paul mescal are different generations of gay men and they had different experiences but they're still so lonely. and they find eachother despite it. and when andrew scott comes out to his mom and she says "they say it's a very lonely life" and he answers "well it isn't anymore. at least it's not supposed to be" because it still is to himmmm. I can't say anything else bc I think it might be spoilers but it was so insanity-inducing and so heartbreaking

gothic (1986) – I love mary shelley and I love the romantics and this was so crazy. completely gothic in the sense that it was perverted and cruel and insane. literally when your circle small but all yall crazy

audition (1999) – yayyyyy crazy women 🥰 kind of slow to get into but the last half hour is insanely rewarding and I haven't stopped thinking abt it since. AND! there's a my chemical romance music video about it so <3

[royalreef]

@givingupthemashaghost inquired: tbh your prose in general is always so eloquent and descriptive and most of all precise, which i think is a word i may have used before but it's still True but! i especially appreciate also that your word choices perfectly match the subjects and moods your longer writing leans towards (kind of moody but mostly Very off-kilter, unsettling, and. Gooey, for lack of a better descriptor. you use a lot of imagery and words that invoke kind of a bloody, bodily vibe for me. words like congeal, for instance, but not in the context of its usual direct, clinical meaning. i often feel like i can reach out and touch the abstract things you describe, like emotions, and i endlessly admire it!! ;o; ) you are also incredibly creative and gifted at describing pain, which is also apropos What do you like most about my writing style? - Accepting

(( Here's when I actually reveal one of my big inspirations behind my writing style is the work of Julia Armfield, especially Salt Slow, Our Wives Under The Sea, and Guts! The way she describes stuff is so poetic and beautiful while also providing such highly specific sensations for what it's like, and it's so tactile that not only do I want to chew her words but I'm very convinced I could.

I also just! Really like thinking about bodies! Thinking about what it's like to be in them, what it's like to look at them, to touch them. There's something that happens when you realize that you are an animal that inhabits a messy, smelly, gross animal body, with all the associated functions of an animal body, and I'm just intrigued by that process, that existence whilst being keenly aware that there are things going on beneath your skin that you cannot control and have no command over. Plus, how else do you write someone utterly nonhuman? How else do you understand what it's like to be nonhuman, utterly unlike yourself in every aspect, unless you start to break yourself down to the fundamentals and rethink your entire relation between yourself and everything else?

But yes!!! Thank you!!! Getting gross with it and visceral with it are two of my big goals with my writing, and I'm glad to know that I'm accomplishing them well!

[monstress]

                        Favorite 2022 Korean Album Releases

khamat — hunjiya

this album is sonically so so beautiful! the r&b-pop hybrid is trendy (which can be a strength and a weakness) but this album has amazing build up that i cannot ignore. the narrative of zillennial’s blustery self-assuredness with the tracks all in capital letters - ending with last month’s rent in lowercase as the dawning realization of adulthood and growing out of friends and your childhood home. yeah...i’ll drink to that. the best engineered album of the year.

neap paradise — shin hae gyeong

one of my faveeee rock releases of the year. the arrangement of this album is so pleasing as you delve longer and longer in its psychedelic soundscape. it’s also a little reminiscent of korean indie sounds in the early 2010s which mayhaps colored my bias to this album. in addition, there are sooo many individual hooks across this album: when the guitar solo ripssss in Vandalism? the toy laugh at the end of Kaleidoscope? the descending chords in My Chronos? *chefs kiss*

piece of space — kaiavant

this album is soooo sexy...like how can you make marimba in the opening track sound alluring? she did it though! speaking about a shattered, unstable relationship, this alt-r&b is splendidly built and shows so much potential for kaiavant. the track woo hoo (feat. kid milli) is a star. if you’re a fan of bibi’s sound, do check her out!

evergray — jiwoo

his previous album ‘esprit’ got him on my to watch list and he delivered this year!! moody, introspective, and downbeat, this album is wonderful for those searching for a slow night and jiwoo’s voice perfectly emulates the toxicity of lust, love, and breakups. like a dark curtain of rain, it ensconced you in the melodrama if you let it.

nameless things — xeuda

decided to check this album since it was co-produced by cacophony and it didn’t disappoint! if you decide to listen to this album in one sitting, it’s so artful at how it slowly unravels from being defensive in sharing to you the true nature of its artist (her anxiety) and slowly opens up to a crescendo of a frenzy and ends like a grey cast in the aftermath of a storm.

life goes on — orange flavored cigarettes

might be a ~vibey entry to the list but the funk production flares (the underwater effect in kontrast, the reverb in that’s all i want) makes it distinct against its similar bands. this was in constant rotation for the summer for the slow summer nights with its ambient vocals. highly rec check out their other 2022 singles, especially noah.

a.k.a YAYA — yaya kim

this is an insaneeeee album from start to finish. with 33 tracks (yes that’s right!!!!), this album is indulgent, effusive, and operatic in its splendor. it’s magnificent, dark, and seductive which completely matches yaya kim’s husky voice. a concept album for a noir film that doesn’t exist, if you will. from the opening track, it asks you to let down your apprehension and enjoy the velvet-textured, wonderfully performed ride to its completion.

damage — kim doeon

i do love me some experimental albums and this album introduced me to the delightful name of the genre ‘folktronica’. while it’s more ambient than what i prefer, i’ve had this album on replay to able to parse something new with each listen. it’s soooo funky, fresh, and pleasant and it’s production is very evocative of a charming indie pixel game. Green Screen is my fave track of the year.

ㅠㅠ — gonggonggoo009

when this album starts, it does not let up! it’s 40 mins long album and uses it  expeditiously and excellently. the tracks are delightfully groovy at times, addictive in a few, and GOES HARD that you will not fatigued by the end of the runtime. and i know the man has become persona non grata (for good, good reasons) but it will be remiss not to mention the influence of kanye’s my beautiful dark twisted fantasy in this album’s production (the tracks monster, walk and polar bear are pretty obvious - and no, it’s not just because of the autotune). however, as the album goes on it does evolve to take on more of kendrick’s work (concentration is the best track imo). fave khh album of the year, don’t miss out.

♡ ♡ ♡ 

honorable mentions: all of ive’s singles, conch’s hurry up!, kwon eun bi’s lethality, slom’s weather report, rocket punch’s flash, bibi’s lowlife princess: noir, youha’s love you more, newjeans’ hype boy, baek yerin’s pisces, lucid fall’s voice beside guitar, dpr ian’s moodswings in to order

[cherrygirlystuff]

Brat Rankings – All the Bops We’re Living For Right Now!

Hey, babe! 🌸 Okay, so you know how obsessed we all are with Brat, right? Well, get ready because I’ve been listening to the new tracks on repeat, and I just had to sit down and rank them for you. Of course, this is just my personal take, and honestly, I love every single one of these songs, but some just hit different, you know? So, let’s get into it and see where your faves land on the list! 🎧✨

1. Sympathy is a Knife 🗡️

Girl, let me just say – this song cuts deep. The lyrics, the beat, the raw emotion – it’s all so intense and so Brat. It’s the kind of song you can’t just listen to once. It’s dark, it’s moody, and it’s giving us all the feels. Definitely a standout track that sets the bar so high.

2. Everything is Romantic 🌹

This one is just chef’s kiss. The vibes are immaculate, with that dreamy sound that makes you want to slow dance in your room at midnight. Everything about this track feels like a love letter wrapped in a melody, and I’m obsessed.

3. So I… 💭

This track is pure magic – it’s introspective, deep, and just so beautifully crafted. The lyrics hit home, and it’s one of those songs that you just feel in your soul. Perfect for those quiet moments when you’re just reflecting on life.

4. The Girl, So Confusing (Version with Lorde) 🌫️

OMG, can we talk about how amazing this version is? Lorde’s feature takes the song to another level. The mix of their voices is everything, and the haunting melody just stays with you long after the song ends. Definitely a fave for me.

5. 365 📅

This track is all about that steady beat and catchy hook that you can’t get out of your head. It’s the kind of song that you can vibe to any day of the year (pun intended), and it just has this effortless coolness that’s so Brat.

6. 360 🔄

Spinning us right round with this one! “360” is a total bop, full of energy and those catchy rhythms that make you want to get up and dance. It’s fun, it’s upbeat, and it’s totally infectious.

7. B2B 🔁

“B2B” is giving us all those nostalgic vibes with a modern twist. It’s a track that just flows so smoothly, with lyrics that are both clever and relatable. Plus, that beat is everything!

8. Club Classics 🎶

If you’re looking for a track to get you hyped for a night out, this is it. “Club Classics” is exactly what it says on the tin – a classic! It’s got that perfect mix of nostalgia and fresh beats, making it the ultimate party anthem.

9. Guess (featuring Billie Eilish) 💚

Billie Eilish on a Brat track? Yes, please! “Guess” with Billie is just so good. Their voices blend so well together, and the vibe is hauntingly beautiful. It’s one of those tracks that you can listen to on repeat and never get tired of.

10. Guess 🎤

The solo version of “Guess” is just as iconic. It’s raw, it’s real, and it’s got that Brat energy we all love. Whether it’s with Billie or on its own, this track is a total winner.

11. Mean Girls 🎀

“Mean Girls” is that track you listen to when you’re feeling a little extra sassy. It’s got attitude, it’s got bite, and it’s the perfect anthem for when you’re not here to play nice.

12. Apple 🍏

Sweet, crisp, and a little bit tart – “Apple” is just so refreshing. It’s got this playful vibe that makes it stand out, and it’s definitely one of those tracks that gets stuck in your head (in the best way possible).

13. Von Dutch 💎

“Von Dutch” is a total vibe. It’s got that early 2000s nostalgia mixed with modern beats, and it’s just so cool and effortless. It’s like the musical equivalent of your favorite vintage tee.

14. Talk Talk 🗣️

“Talk Talk” is one of those tracks that just keeps you hooked from start to finish. The lyrics are on point, and the rhythm is super catchy. It’s perfect for when you’re feeling chatty and just want to vibe.

15. I Think About It All the Time 🕰️

This one is more laid-back, but in the best way. It’s introspective and soothing, with lyrics that really make you think. It’s perfect for those moments when you just need to chill and reflect.

16. Spring Breakers 🌴

“Spring Breakers” is a total anthem for those wild, carefree moments. It’s got that rebellious energy that makes you want to throw caution to the wind and just have fun. Definitely one to blast with the windows down.

17. Girl, So Confusing 🌫️

Even without Lorde, “Girl, So Confusing” is still a masterpiece. It’s got that dreamy, ethereal quality that pulls you in and keeps you there. The lyrics are hauntingly beautiful, and it’s one of those tracks that just sticks with you.

18. Hello Goodbye 👋

This track is like a sweet farewell wrapped in a melody. It’s a little bittersweet, a little hopeful, and just all-around beautiful. It’s the perfect track for those moments when you’re feeling a little nostalgic.

19. I Might Say Something Stupid 💬

This song is all about those moments when you’re caught up in your feelings and might say something you don’t mean. It’s relatable, it’s catchy, and it’s got that signature Brat charm.

20. Rewind ⏪

“Rewind” takes us back with a nostalgic vibe that’s impossible to resist. It’s laid-back and chill, with lyrics that make you want to hit the rewind button on life’s best moments.

21. Von Dutch (featuring Addison Rae) 💎✨

Adding Addison Rae to the mix just gives “Von Dutch” that extra sparkle. It’s still got that iconic vibe, but with a little more pop and shine. A fun remix that brings something new to the table.

And there you have it, babe! My personal ranking of Brat’s latest tracks. But honestly, every single one of these songs is a total vibe, and I’m living for them all. What do you think? Do you agree with my ranking, or do you have your own faves? Let’s chat in the comments – I’m dying to know your thoughts! 💕🎧

[j0kers-light]

Omg I miss you so much Chaos!! I hope ur vacay goes well you deserve it! I do have a question about His Angel whenever you see this. Can you explain it a bit? I think you said it’s gonna be 10 chapters with side stories and stuff. I wanna know what can we expect from Y/n in this series! After reading the first chapter I feel like we’re mysterious and respected by others, but how?? We got this self hate thing going on while everyone is treating us like royalty. I don’t want to be that anon that complains but ahhhh! Is it really necessary? You’re the queen of slow burns so it probably is haha never mind I’ll just wait for whatever you choose to write and can I just say I love Ario’s character already! He’s so flirty with us I’m hoping he plays a similar role kinda like Frost since it’s an AU. That makes me remember another question. Will this be based in Gotham still? I don’t doubt your writing skills I’m just curious in how you make this a Joker fic. enjoy your trip Chaos and return safely!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Hey hi anon!!!🖤✨

Thank you, my vacation was lovely!! I loved reading this ask, Queen of slow burns took me out 🤭I can most definitely explain His Angel for you! No spoilers of course!

His Angel will be a ten chapter series recounting Y/n's task being Joker's guardian angel and some future consequences because of it. You are correct; Y/n is a renowned angel and is considered royalty for her past assignments BUT she failed one mission years ago and can't seem to shake it off. She's very moody/mysterious as she heals from the mistakes hence Ario being sassy to us; Y/n wasn't always like that. It will all make sense soon, I promise.

Technically His Angel is still DC canon. Its based in Gotham with some scenes being flashbacks from heaven so its sprinkled with AU elements. (Lol its within Chaos' universe!) Thank you for having so much faith (pun intended) in me as this story develops! This is a Joker x Y/n fic and it has a beautiful happy ending that I hope you'll love!

P.S--- Ario is a unique character. I'm gonna have lots of fun fleshing him out. I can't say more about him except he is Y/n's right hand guy😏