#its kind of sort of alive | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lets-try-some-writing · 2 years

Note

You got any hurt/comfort Headcanons for the bots or cons? I'm kinda down in the dumps right now.

I am so sorry it took me so long to get to this! I will try to make it up to you with my writing! I hope this makes you feel somewhat better! (also sorry that this is all about Optimus, he was just on my mind when I thought about angst and comfort... also semi sentient Matrix has been living in my head rent free for a while soooo)

Shifts and Changes

The Matrix is a mysterious relic, one which very little is known about save what the previous Primes have revealed. It was always strange to Orion that each and every one of the Primes to take up the mantle seemed to fall into madness after a time. Orion also never understood this or why the Primes kept knowledge of the Matrix and its secrets to themselves. But after coming to bear the Matrix himself, Optimus understood. Sometimes he wished he didn't.

The Matrix is more than a container for ancient knowledge, it is an artifact infused with part of the sparks and wills of all who have wielded it. Because of this, it is in a sense... alive. It has a will, an animalistic desire to see Cybertron and its people protected, by any means necessary. As such it has no issues changing its chosen champion to better suit its needs. It doesn't just remake their frame, it latches onto their spark and slowly but surely begins to connect to it, gaining a greater influence over the Prime with time. It molds their mind, giving it's Prime the same drive and desire, and it whispers to them, changing their very code, making the Prime become something... other.

Optimus is no exception to this.

In the beginning, the effects were minimal, in fact, he felt better than ever. His frame was powerful, his spark was enlightened, and he had all the knowledge and wisdom of his ancestors to guide him. However as time passed and the Matrix's bond with him grew stronger, he started to change. At first, it was small things, like feeling disconnected from the world around him in a way he couldn't explain and feeling the urge to nurture and protect the few remaining sparklings. It was off-putting but not detrimental, so Optimus chalked it up to the stress of the war and overactive parental protocols.

After a few vorns, he found himself seeing the world differently, from a more apathetic point of view. Things that seemed so important, so urgent, felt less relevant, instead, his thoughts started to drift away from his personal connections and toward the health of Cybertron and its people as a whole. He began to pull away from others, cutting himself off in a way that was not noticeable to his friends and companions. He still comforted, listened, and connected to others, at least on the surface. But he found himself looking at it as a duty, a function, and an instinctual part of his being, not his own desire.

His acquisition of Bumblebee both improved his mental state and simultaneously increased the Matrix's hold over him. For a time he stopped drifting away from others and his slowly growing apathy screeched to a halt. He devoted himself entirely to teaching and nurturing Bumblebee, almost to an obsessive degree. However once Bumblebee grew to be somewhat independent, the agreement between Optimus and the Matrix ended, the latter of which quickly renewed its efforts to change Optimus to better suit its purposes.

By the time Optimus arrived on earth he was practically a dead mech walking. His only desire, his only purpose is to fight and die for his people, nothing else matters. Any cost is acceptable if it means possibly defeating the enemy and protecting his people. In his mind he is only one part of a greater whole, a singular piece in a grand eternal plan. He is one part of the Matrix, an incarnation of Primus's will and one voice in the grand chorus. His own belief is that he as an individual does not matter, he is but a vessel and the Matrix's latest attempt to make things right. He could care less about his own wellbeing, only his people matter.

The team can see this, and while they don't understand his self sacrificial tendencies or why he refers to himself as 'we' on occasion and talks as though he were present in some ancient era, they still try to help him.

Ratchet tries his best to draw out bits of Orion, mainly by discussing old times in an attempt to pull Optimus out of his own head. It works sometimes and for a little while Optimus is just Optimus, not the Prime and not the newest attempt to fix Cybertron by the Matrix. Ratchet knows it is the Matrix screwing with his oldest friend and he hates the fragging thing even if he knows it has goodish intentions. He does everything in his power to give Optimus what little reprieve he can get from his primely duties. He tries, he really does, but he can't do it all alone.

Bulkhead, Arcee, and Wheeljack are not anywhere near as close to Optimus as Ratchet, but boy do they try and help their Prime anyway. Random acts of affection, pulling him into games with them, or simply doing their best to engage in conversation are their best attempts. Movie nights are also a good way for them to get Optimus out of his own head as the Prime tends to get distracted by a good story.

Ultra Magnus also does what he can by emulating Optimus's own methods for dealing with others. He will sit with his commander and talk, not about anything serious, but trivial things. It forces Optimus to think outside of his duties, at least partially, and engage with others. This in turn leads him to be more expressive, to separate himself from the conjoined mind that is the Matrix in order to respond appropriately.

Smokescreen doesn't even know he is doing it, but by being his fanboy self he forces Optimus to act like more of a living being. He reminds Optimus of Bumblebee when he was young and brings up emotions that are usually well hidden. The Prime becomes concerned for and affectionate towards the rambunctious elite guardsman rather quickly after his arrival. Optimus got attached and now he is physically incapable of being stoic and mystical when Smokescreen is trying to do something stupid.

Bumblebee does what Bumblebee does and gives his caretaker love. This in turn wakes Optimus from his state of resigned duty and gives him a chance to be himself. Sometimes Bumblebee will act younger than he is on purpose when he can sense Optimus has fallen deep into his trance. On those days Optimus can't help but want to be expressive and interested. He wants to watch his sparkling grow and change, and the Matrix is equally interested in the events. And so for a brief time every now and then Optimus is completely unburdened and allowed to simply be himself when Bumblebee gets involved.

The human children also help Optimus return to awareness and often don't even realize it. They are just so unpredictable and alien to both Optimus and the Matrix that both can't help but focus on the children. Optimus wants to express himself and the Matrix wants new information to feed to its future wielders, and so the Prime is capable of being emotional, compassionate, and inquisitive around the kids. The Matrix even purposefully pushes forward more of Orion's traits when around the children so that it can gain more data.

And lastly, weather Megatron knows it or not, he keeps Optimus from fully succumbing to the Matrix. His taunts, his behavior, and his constant callback's to his and Optimus's shared past make the Prime feel. He forces Optimus to feel. Not even the Matrix can stop Optimus from feeling rage, sorrow, and regret in overwhelming quantities when battling Megatron. It is the most awakening activity for the Prime and usually leaves him expressive and open for weeks afterwards before falling back into the Matrix's grip yet again.

-

(So not really hurt comfort but this is what I have right now... sorry if you don't like it)

#maccadam #transformers prime #transformers #tfp optimus #the matrix of leadership #its kind of sort of alive #I really do headcannon that the thing is semi sentient #how can it not be after spending so long picking up pieces of its primes?#team prime #megatron

106 notes · View notes

katabay · 7 months

Text

original thief series basso & garrett :)

ngl, it's about quality over quantity for me. an npc can have a total of three minutes of screen time, but if they have a cool name, they can live rent free in my head and I'll spend several hours trying to decipher drawable features from a blurry screenshot of pixels

there is a vague hint of a story here, and that's because every time I try to play thi4f, I get incredibly frustrated with how Not Fun the game play is. like, is the story good? well. but it has a PLAGUE. that should've given it instant 'I'll replay this once a year' status in my heart, but the game play sucks so bad that I've never finished it. I can't believe Not Fun gameplay beat out my obsession with narrative plagues.

anyway, the idea is basically if the original era had a game with a plague centric narrative and some other stuff I liked out of thi4f thrown into a narrative blender, with a heavy dash of horror thrown in because some parts of the thief games were scarier to me than entire dedicated horror genre games.

⭐ places I’m at! bsky / pixiv / pillowfort /cohost / cara.app

#if i had a laptop and the skillset i would attempt a story mod because the thief modders who create whole mission stories #are GENIUS and also somewhat terrifying. love them! xoxox #anyway im actually kind of obsessed with parts of thi4f but its also like. not at that sweet spot of almost good enough to be fun #to talk about. which. for the record. has not stopped me from talking about it at length to people #the city itself actually fucking fascinates me. its almost alive and im SO mad that not a single part of that game is actually terrifying #it should be gnarlier and instead it feels a bit like it doesn't quite want to be trapped in the story it has to tell?#but between the level that has the bodies on the meathooks #and the scene with the bodies hanging from the rafters or whatever that was and garrett living in a clock tower #because the game is very much ALMOST about changing times and authoritarian violence and capitalism #(like. by virtue of how the story sort of spins out i think it misses it's mark on a lot of stuff here #in the sense that i dont feel like it actually wants to tell that story. it wants to. go in a different direction. or at least walk on top #of those themes instead of through it)#ANYWAY between all of those things. it does kind of live in my head rent free. they did create a compelling setting #SHAME THEY DIDNT WANT TO ACTUALLY EAT ANY OF IT #unrelated but i would've given thi4f a 10/10 if they kept garrett's fucking nail polish from the concept art. cowards. unforgivable #thief the dark project #i still have no idea how to tag the game series as a whole RIP #sorry for the dedicated dark project fans. if you know what the general series tag is. please let me know #garrett thief #basso thief

330 notes · View notes

canonkiller · 8 months

Text

do you consider your self made?

#my art #self portrait of sorts #been musing a lot on disability recently and how being relatively freshly unable to do Most Things has changed my perspective on things #for a long time growing up i was fixated on the idea of being An Impact On The World yknow? mainly the next Big Writer #(and that it would be sooo impressive that everyone would make my books bestsellers when i was only 12 because it was That Good)#and i mean. obviously that didnt work out as originally planned because i was 12 and learning. but I've felt a lot like #I've kind of built my sense of self on those big achievements. even if they were only big to me. and a lot of them #are now out of reach or very difficult to reach. and it's been a lot to. recontextualize #to take what ive been told my whole life and ignore it in favor of just being being enough.#things will happen as they happen. i havent earned anything by suffering but it hasnt ended the world either #im here doing what i Can do for as long as I'm able to do it. and thats all i need to be for now #just making sure that i Do do the things i can do rather than assume i can do them later #anyways. love you #cw:#top nudity #artistic nudity #the dreaded ambiguously presenting nipple #if you put any pro weight loss eating disorder shit on here ill kill you btw #my body is sexy because im in it and im still alive. not because its struggling to stay that way #lindwormposting

336 notes · View notes

kooki914 · 3 months

Note

What are asgore and spades favorite colors

#deltarune #asks #drawings #asgore #spade #king of spades #spade king #asgore dreemurr #spadesgore #technically #king spade #no one asked but i want to elaborate #asgore describes colours in pairs not just because it might be the only colour theory he knows #but because thats also how he generally just sees. people and their traits #as if everything needs something to compliment #hence why he feels so out of place and useless to himself when hes not married/in a relationship #the way he describes yellow and purple are a good way to describe him and toriel in undertale #royal colours that are tied to hope but they only shine when theyre constracted against the grim tragedy that shaped them #with blue and orange it kind of describes sans and papyrus especially with how their comedic timing works #like when youre alone with sans in mtt resort the tone is a LOT more somber - colder #but when papyrus is by himself hes all jumpy and shit and he hardly seems as down to earth as he does with sans around #and red and green imo are the most important in analysing asgore specifically bc his weapon is red #but his shirt colour in post pacifist and deltarune is pink - literally a softer version of the cruelty we KNOW hes capable of #he describes it as just sort of -fitting- with the greenery he surrounds himself with and i think that mostly has to do with what he WANTS #all the plants and the greenery are ALIVE but almost toxic. meanwhile someone else most prominantly associated with red is rudy #the guys whole gimmick is having a bright red nose #its like asgore surrounds himself with the colour that would compliment the person he wants #or literally wearing their colours a la him and toriel having the same shade of blue on in undertale #and spade? hes just emo. he likes black because its a lack of colour - a lack of light #the reason he works as a good parallel to asgore in this sense is because he breaks asgores dychotamy and forces his own

91 notes · View notes

carnivalcarriondiscarded · 10 months

Text

its always so funny to me in movies/shows when people get shot in the chest or whatever and die instantly. like. no lmao

#that wont happen????#the only insta-kill there is is headshots and even those arent always instantly fatal #people can and have survived a bullet to the head #people can and have and do survive gunshot wounds to the chest/heart #me watching an action movie: not dead yet. not dead yet. dead. not dead yet. would survive that. dead. not dead yet #my favorite part of watching those kinds of movies is imagining how most people on the ground are in the Process of dying #and by favorite i mean the Most Distressing Part #absolutely unprompted #like jurassic world? when the lady gets taken by a pterosaur an then the both of them swallowed by the mosasaur #like... she did not die as soon as the jaws closed #that lady just got swallowed alive. shes not dead yet #and then i sit there mildly distressed as i think about how horrible of a demise that is #an extra gets shot?#oh great they're slowly dying of blood loss / shock out of frame #its a mindset i cant turn off!#but it is also genuinely funny when movie characters/extras die instantly from injuries that are Not immediately fatal #or at least not as immediate as portrayed #and it always delights and disturbs me when the movie characters/extras #Do Indeed die realistically!!!#a morbid sort of delight... the Ohhh! Accuracy!#followed by oh... accuracy....

52 notes · View notes

local-magpie · 29 days

Text

"i like to packbond with everything" is um. a really fucking concerning statement to make when discussing AI, especially the question of if AI can reach sentience. that really should be the very first alarm bell you learn to watch for when you get into studying AI 😬

#i never formally went into AI research due to a mixture of disdain for the majority of commercial AI products + undergrad almost killing me #but ive kept up more or less with where things are at and like #a) we are still using a statistical model #b) we still dont understand how the brain utilizes its heuristics to switch between them #which is first of all the main failure of AI to generalize (or even just not hyper specialize)#when you compare it to the human brain like #the brain has all kinds of weird statistical models (approximately) right #these are heuristics #just ways of determining is thing x #we can more or less do this task with AI!#the PROBLEM is that the brain then can determine Which Heuristic Is Most Appropriate (more or less)#we have no fucking clue how it does that #or really how the feedback loop of learning actually works for meat #the statistical model was sort of our first/most popular attempt to try simulating a feedback learning loop in the brain #and like. mixed results! again! AI can't generalize and we dont even know how the brain works properly #so my personal opinion is that we cannot simulate the human brain any better with current approaches to the problem #and like. if we cant even simulate the bare bones functionality of the brain.#how the everliving fuck do you think it can simulate thought or existence?#we dont know how that works either but like its clearly generated by SOMETHING in the brains functionality #without that you got no hope of a sentient computer #flat out. it isnt happening.#what we DO know though is that the human brain is an anthropomorphizing machine #it can interpret anything as alive or humanlike #we know however this is a fucking trap in regards to intellectual pursuits #ergo: talking about pack bonding and AI study in the same breath?#you are victim to one of the human brain's fondest delusions and it will hold you back from truly studying anything on the topic #yelling at the void

6 notes · View notes

kaerinio · 10 months

Text

on this morning, i am thinking about how much dany would have loved, supported, and fought for rhaenyra. that's it. that is all.

#;; ALSO . . . THE FACT THAT HER OWN KIND OF DANCE IS COMING WITH YOUNG GRIFF/AEGON (IF THAT *IS* WHO HE IS BUT PROBABLY ISNT)#;; yall dont get me started on the mummer's dragon and how i think that directly relates to one of dany's *slayer of lies* moments #;; also the fact that he is also an “aegon”#;; IT'S GIVING DANCE AND BLACKFYRE REBELLION VIBES (esp...with bloodraven ALIVE ALBEIT AS A TREE)#;; TWO AEGONS WHO CAUSED ABSOLUTE HAVOC DUE TO VARIOUS ISSUES SURROUNDING SUCCESSION #;; just so many connected historical moments . . . honestly SOME OF THE *WORST* TARGARYEN MOMENTS IN THEIR HISTORY #;; AND I JUST THINK IT'S NEAT THAT DANY AS THE PRIDE OF HER HOUSE !!! GETS TO !!! RIGHT !!! SOME OF THOSE WRONGS !!!!#;; and sort of restore her house to something EVEN BETTER than even its best days!!!#;; ANYWAYS I AM RAMBLING I HOPE YOU'RE ALL HAVING A BEAUTIFUL DAY 💖💖💖💖#♕░░ queen of the summer isles ( LUXX SPEAKING )#;; tbd

5 notes · View notes

thepinkseashell · 1 year

Text

<3

#before its not boston2's birthday anymore i have to make a sentimental little post about her. because i love her. so here goes.#that day actually kind of changed my life a little bit.#i had been very deeply unwell for years and i think that was the day that a little switch flipped in me and the ice began to melt #and i started to be okay.#i dont think i had ever experienced that type of sheer joy and elation and relief and catharsis and it just sortof sent a shock to my system #like. this is real! you are real! you are alive!#you are capable of feeling and existing and being so do it! go. exist. be. live. breathe. and god did i fucking try #and i cant say it was suddenly easy after that. of course not. it is still not quite easy now. but its gotten better. little by little #i started doing things more. i started seeing myself more as human.#and things sort of snowballed and now i feel like im on the cusp of something. i dont know what.#the cusp of living. the cusp of being alive. the cusp of being human.#its the same but different. i was so very dead and just barely teetering into not dead and now im not dead and teetering into alive. i think #i am not substantially different than i was a year ago. not on paper. but i have hope now. i have a little sliver of something.#i have clawed at the wall long enough to dig a hole and goddamn it im climbing through it if it kills me.#boston2 was a catalyst for me. a celebration. an invitation. an apology. a love letter. a hug. a kiss. it was my permission to be okay.#and maybe i am. maybe i will be.#i love you boston2. thank you for everything. i will exist. i will live. i will breathe. and my first breath will be for you.

7 notes · View notes

dandyshucks · 5 months

Text

okay its going under a readmore bc its messy and a lot, i'll try to keep it succinct though. CW for some discussion of the ongoing g.enocide and things around that topic

so one of the friends is someone I've really respected and admired because they're a very intelligent well-spoken and kind-hearted individual. i've really been impressed with how they think about things and with their ability to write really fantastic essays (that they often share with this friend group because they're in school and enjoy sharing their work with us because a lot of us are interested in the things they write about). about a year ago, this person went through the process of converting to j.udaism and we were all very excited (and continue to be happy) for them. they've been really happy with the process and the community they've found and it's been really good for them.

however! this person has since stated they are a z.ionist! and they've said that it just means that j.ewish people should live in i.srael, it doesn't mean they support the i.df or what is happening in p.alestine currently. but I'm just... baffled at how they can think that non-p.alestinians occupying the country could EVER be done peacefully. it has ALWAYS been colonization. it was never going to be done in a peaceful manner.

do j.ewish people deserve a safe place to exist? absolutely! but I do not think, ESPECIALLY now, that that safe place can ever be located in p.alestine. I'm not the most educated or well-read individual, I've done a bit of reading over the past few months but my memory is shoddy and I consistently forget almost everything I've read, but as far as I can tell, this has been a non-peaceful occupation (...can occupation ever really be done peacefully in reality? i doubt it.) from the very beginning. p.alestinians were being kicked out of their houses from the start.

and to add onto the messiness of this all, I am the only i.ndigenous person in the entire group. I am the only one coming at this from an i.ndigenous perspective. and because of my perspective, I am ALWAYS going to be on the side of the population that first lived and existed in a place. i am always on the side of l.and back, i am always on the side of the first peoples. anything less would be essentially agreeing with colonization.

so it is just incredibly uncomfortable to be the only i.ndigenous person in this group while the rest of the group has discussed and expressed sympathy with this person for holding self-professed z.ionist beliefs (I do not believe this person has done the right reading to fully understand what they are saying, which is so strange because they are usually so good about educating themself). and I feel like if I try to say anything to argue or simply question this person, I'm going to rock the boat too much and make Everyone uncomfortable and the entire thing will blow up and fall apart around me. so my options seem to be either: a) say something, b) say nothing and stay in the group, or c) say nothing and quietly leave the group. none of which feel like good options!

and it sucks so much because there are people I genuinely do like in this group, and I've liked this one person and respected them since I met them, but they're really .... showing themself to be an unsafe person at the end of the day. I keep feeling like maybe I'm not seeing something or maybe I'm missing something, but I've looked at this from multiple angles and while I do absolutely see where they're coming from and even sympathise with some of it, I disagree with them on a fundamental level.

(also it seems really fucked up for them to be newly converted to j.udaism and endorsing what is essentially colonization and lowkey ignoring the fact that PEOPLE ARE BEING GENOCIDED RIGHT NOW so maybe we should not be discussing "but where are all the j.ewish ppl going to live :(" until the bullets and bombs stop at the very least(????????), while I've been indigenous and dealing with the consequences of attempted (and still ongoing!) genocide and colonization my entire life)

#its all so unbelievably fucked up and uncomfortable #and I think that the other ppl in the group do not like... see the flaw in what this individual is saying #because they are !!! not !!! i.ndigenous !!!! they are all completely white !!!!#i'm just. head in my heads clawing my hands down my face. so ... i dont have a word for this actually #its like. fear mixed with anger mixed with hurt mixed with confusion and shock and horror that these ppl are being this way #also not all of them have engaged in the convos so i dont know everyones opinions on the situation #it just. i dont know. i dont know! its so fucked up #dandy.cmd #vent //#ask to tag #i won't be discussing this sort of thing regularly here btw fdjskl this is a one-off probably #i just needed to get it off my chest and put it somewhere because i don't know what to do #and i can't talk about it on my other account bc i have some of the ppl following me there #and here i only have one person following me and if u see this hi You are okay !!! u are not part of this fdsjkl and u can dm me #but i do not think u have done anything wrong and im not lumping u in with these people #i can explain things more to u if u want though because man alive its all so tangled and messed up #but u and a couple others are not people who are making me uncomfortable bc i trust you and havent seen those two others engage #so i'm just kind of sitting here like. hm. idk what to do. and i dont want to bring it up w you randomly fdshgjkl

2 notes · View notes

muttsona · 5 months

Text

phone calls laced with memories of what will never be

#journal #FUCK HIM SO BAD ACTUALLY #always acting like the bigger person when you kinda.ruined things for me #said you hope i find someone new. i Cant find someone new now #hey buddy you ruined dating for me. i want to cry at the idea of love now #you were sort of like the worst boyfriend ever.but i digress #i cant believe you had me in tears once a week #and i cant believe youre the reason i almost endee up the hospital #its my birthday tomorrow #youll probably think of me. i know She Will #maybe shes better because i know she'll think of me. she was only one i actually knew Cared #i mean its no biggie except for tje fact that my heart was beating for you and my lungs took every breath so i could stay alive tolook atyo #i used to close my eyes and see you . now all i see is all your stupid empty promises #i remmeber when it was: iceland. greece. rome. wherever #now we're seven states away and ill be rotting in the ground before i forget you #but not in any good kind kf way #because you ruined eceryrbinf for me and i dont think youre even Sorry #im never getting that apology and i cant find it in me to care #maybe i can stay mad a few lifetimes longer. maybe youll forget about me and forget an apology was ever warranted #i just. hope you know. all my friends hate you #Spotify #💭

2 notes · View notes

mad-hunts · 5 months

Text

i find it equal parts sad as well as kind of funny in a bad way that barton will literally make friends with quote unquote ' ordinary people ' who even show even an iota of interest in him and this is mostly because he is just so lonely all the time. but whenever they do, these poor people have no freaking idea what they're getting into whenever you become friends with barton because his kind of friendship is DEFINITELY not the typical kind... like, especially if he views you as one of his super close friends. because suddenly you will be barraged with calls at three am where barton will either be downright ugly crying into the phone over a absolutely horrific nightmare he had or he'll be like: ' hey, i need you to come over RIGHT NOW and not ask any questions ' and thinking that it's probably an emergency, his friend will probably go to his house in a panic, only to discover that no. barton is, in fact, NOT in an emergency and he actually seems surprised that they came. and he then proceeds to tell them that he asked them to come over because he just wanted to see them so bad that he felt like he was ' dying ' 💀

like are you being for real right now?? this man really doesn't have the best reputation when it comes to these things, after all, and he's just highkey such a pest in general istg. and i haven't even talked about the fact that barton purposefully embarrasses people he likes but not in a particularly malicious way. it's just in a VERY mortifying way like reaching his hand out to take theirs, then swinging it back and fourth whenever they are in like... a damn grocery store in public together and proclaiming to someone that passes by them ' hey, so this is my friend. aren't they like the coolest? i bet you're so jealous right now that they're my friend and not yours OOHHH, ' like... he is just setting them up to be stared at by people. it's so devious.

there is also the fact that barton will literally NOT allow them to fight their own battles sometimes because he will cut in if he sees someone is bothering them / threatening them and be like, ' hey friend, who's this prick? do you need me to deck them in the face? ' and he does it in such a way that you cannot even tell whether he's joking or not. like, he's certainly got some issues that he needs to work out, but he's also kind of hilarious sometimes? JSJSJ and he is strangely up to defending his friends from people which i suppose is... sort of funky fresh of him... despite him committing countless atrocities on the daily?? 🫠 idk, but the point i'm trying to make is, barton is highkey a menace even around these ' normal friends ' that he has a tendency of making and he shows his love for them in a very... unusual way, to say the least LOL. sooo yeah be prepared to feel like you're on a rollercoaster with him

#OF MONSTERS AND MEN: musings.#YOUR NEED GREW TEETH: character study.#JSJSJ sorry i just had to tell y'all about something sort of humorous regarding barton bc of what i posted last night #but honestly... i have to say that this is probably one of barton's few redeeming qualities. that he can be unironically funny and-#actually seem like he likes people sometimes i mean LMAO.#its kind of like that one ' i receive and you receive meme with the you part saying 'my friendship' ' -#and the i receive part saying ' someone who is willing to lowkey be tormented by me ' JSJSJ nahhh but his dynamic with his ' normal friends #' could definitely use some work... yeah 💀#ANGER'S HELPED ME STAY ALIVE: headcanons.

3 notes · View notes

entryn17 · 2 years

Note

would you like to imagine a room made of gaster? a room where the walls give way when you press your fingers against them. a room where you always feel watched. would you like to imagine a room where the door is a mouth, and you have just entered what is both the inside and the outside of the being; the belly and hide of the beast? or am i overstepping a boundary or something sorry

no don't worry it's all good man

#mail #i have actually thought of something similar especially when im in the mood for kitty horrorshow games and annihilation by jeff vandermeer #gaster is just ambiguous enough for me to project all kinds of horror scenarios onto and him sort of being swallowed or becoming part of-#-a space is just one of them. especially tied together with how alive undertale itself feels to me its very easy for me to indulge in this-#-sort of thing. i realize its not canon to the game at all and the kind of horror we'll see from deltarune will be completely different but #i can't help but think about gaster being something and someone and nothing at all that just writhes

21 notes · View notes

ichorblossoms · 11 months

Text

having ttw Thoughts while reading house of leaves but it's nothing that's lead to a breakthrough yet so i'm just like soaking in the vibes