#its like im realising how bad it was
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A belief in Nominative Determinsim
#mira & isa sitting at the other side of the room: oh that cannot be a healthy rationalisation. someone should deconstruct that QUICKLY...#change's strongest soldiers VERSUS one guy echo chambering themselves about a susperstition-based retributive model of the world. GO!!!#isat spoilers#isat#isat fanart#isat siffrin#isat loop#sifloop#sloops#in stars and time#in stars and time fanart#lucabyteart#hey look now. this is softer than usual isnt it? ignore the. ignore the subtle damnation of blame unto the self. its fine. theyre fine#this is in fact a slight adaptation of that headcanon of mine i linked! yep! turns out the way to comic-ise it was to. make it like#90% speech bubble and get kinda weird with the formatting. it's clunky and experimental but hey. im experimenting.#the next ones gonna have even more fucking speech bubbles if it goes how im planning. christ#then its gonna get followed up with something wordless so. all things in perfect balance.#DISCLAIMER: i like to write loop and siffrin displaying the maybe not so great logic-holes their seeming fear of 'retribution for not#sticking to (the script) what the universe intends for them' entails. i do not agree with their weird philosophising.#i in fact think this is . bad for them. and am exploring how fucking unhealthy their mindset seems to be even when 'mundane'#OCD siffrin real as hell whats with the doing arbitrary actions in specific ways lest Something Nebulously Bad Happen little dude?#anyway if you caught the extremely blunt symbolism of kissing a hand with a knife in it you win a prize! it's called self-satisfaction 🎉🎉#hmm. do people realise i kept calling this type of back and forth between siffrin and loop a socratic dialogue bc socrates was also just#arguing with himself? like he was just making up the other guys. complete thought experiment. i also call them that because theyre WORDY!!!
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#p4#p4g#persona 4#persona 4 golden#hanamura yosuke#yosuke hanamura#souyo#(vomits blood)#okay honestly is there even anything to say about this#yosuke is so easy to tease because he plays along so easily#but also his favourite quality in a person is reliability huh? cool. good to know.#oh hey do you think about how in the reverse scenario when hes on the boys side#where he said his ideal gf was someone he could protect#and when yu says yosuke is his ideal bf yosukes gets embarrassed but is like oh well im not too bad looking! and im pretty reliable!#hahaa wow its almost as if yu and yosuke both want someone that they can rely on and someone that would rely on them in turn#if only they both had someone like that. someone they could both trust beyond measure. someone thats an equal. a partner#also shout out to tumblr user aibyoutachi for convincing me that i should play the other side with yosuke sitting with the girls#because ive always sat in the girls seat not realising that sitting in the boys seat meant yosuke would take your place#oh wait that means theyre the only two that are different hahaha PARALLELS OR WHAT#he's good with his queue
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ep 43 had me tearing up in a fucking shopping centre ‼️‼️
b+w alt version that I truly couldn't decide if I liked it more . Also I included a lot of thoughts in the tags but they're somewhat incoherent<3
#i dont know what i expected but i was waiting for a friend and too excited to wait until later#malevolent podcast#john doe#john doe malevolent#john malevolent#malevolent fanart#grimm art#ep 43#ep 43 left me with a lot of thoughts ... i didnt quite like how much of a recap it felt like at times but that might#be because ive been relistening and like yeah everyone knows that john 🙄 but that's not the case for everyone and with monthly uploads#things get forgotten easily#i find the discussion of “humanity” so interesting because John has shown that without someone that he has forcibly grown to value as an#equal... something he cannot do as the king of yellow as he is superior to all of his realm and presumably stays out of other elder god's#anyway. without that equality and enviroment to grow he fails to reach his goal of compassion and falls onto old ways.#John. The King in Yellow. shown by both times each has found themselves in human form do not just crave power and influence!!!#THEY CRAVE COMMUNITY!!! an endrich being not born or raised with nothing but power and ego#CRAVES COMMUNITY.#His goal of “humanity” is not a selfless goal like John projects - it is ultimately somewhat selfish as he does not want to be alone!!#which makes this desire so much more human#i don't know maybe this is just me spelling out whats already there but the way john and the witch argued about humanity frustrated me#it felt like they were missing the point or that perhaps the “good/evil” “black/white” retoric was already realised by me and john needed#realise it himself . which is fair !!!#i dont know!!!!#the witch was talking about how bad everyone was and how humanity is cruel and john was talking about Lily (#who also frustrates me how shes used in the plot somewhat she was literally just a nurse doing her job bro#) but to John - yes internally he is struggling with his moral greyness and im so proud of him for growing being himself SO PROUD#JUST.!!! he wants community. he needs community. he loves his friend. 'humanity' at its core does not matter as long as you try to be bette#and i think thats awesome and i really enjoyed the episode#guhh im rambling enjoy my tag rambling i dont know i want john to have more friends :(#yorrick can be another friend godd i love you yorrick so silly
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thinkign about how alone and unloved morty was for all his life and rick was the first time anyobdy ever put such an amount of intense attention and dependency onto him . and rick had a whole new family and losing them made him stop seeing the value in other people as a whole and morty was the one and first thing that woke him up
#really long Tag rant down there#one of the most Things Ever about them to me is how morty barely even understands just how much rick loves him. more than anything#and its something ricks done on purpose hes made sure of it#because hes so weak he cant handle it#them being together is agony in avsolutely every way and sense but also theyre the best part of eachothers lives#morty because nobodys payed attention to him quite like rick has and all the exciting space adventures and rick just cause. he literally#just likes him thats it. and he never knew it#also i was thinking of this earlier. one of the reasons season 1 is soooo good to me is cuz you get to see morty grow on rick in real time#stuff like that moment where morty walks through the door and rick is instantly at the sight of him SUPER excited and he goes hey!!! but#then he clears his throat and goes Hey trying to pretend like this dumb scaredy kid isnt becoming his favourite thing hes ever known day af#er day#and goddamn night shaym aliens. in that moment where he realised morty had been fake the whole time i rlly wonder what he was thinking and#how he felt. like. oh man this is messing with me way too much this is Bad#and then he got drunk over it and yknow. that . is it post credits. i think. that scene#n literally At the Very beginning he was tired n drunk n stupid thinking like man fuck this im gonna blow this place up and do what prime#did to me. But he brought morty with him Even just at that point it flashed in his mind and he absolutely could not bear to let morty die#Breathes in#im rewatching in October bc anniversary month. i literally can’t wait im so actually impatient i considered just doing it today So hard#odiespeak
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i don’t talk about bridgerton on here but just to clarify. i will not be having ANY eloise hate on this account. i will bite.
#eloise bridgerton they could never make me hate you!!#addressing the normal talking points one by one to get them sorted:#- no i don’t care that eloise called pen some names after the discovery. she was devastated and furious.#she can apologise in the future but in the moment of course she said it#- yes pen did write about eloise as a way to save her but that doesn’t mean it hasn’t possibly ruined eloise’s life#- similarly: eloise isn’t (just) angry that she was written about. daphne also went through whistledown and it very much terrified her#so have many other women including marina#- eloise is betrayed because she told pen everything and is realising pen told her nothing#(and she’s probably thinking about any secrets she might have said to her best friend that could now be used against the ton and her family)#- as claudio said: being regency gossip girl isnt a moral girlboss thing its deeply harmful tbh#- pen did have reasons to become whistledown! that doesn’t mean that she’s innocent or right!#- eloise isnt now friends with cressida to spite pen lmao she’s alone and scared and cressida was the last person who offered her friendship#she has no idea how to manage society by herself#(and she needs someone to improve the reputation of her and her family)#- im also convinced she has other ulterior motives for befriending cressida. like she’s keeping an eye on her or smth#- eloise didn’t just ignore anything pen said and that’s why she only just figured it out. pen deliberately didn’t speak like lw to hide it#the moment she did eloise was like huh that’s weird she doesn’t normally talk like that. and THATS when she figured it out#- eloise just found out her best friend has betrayed her and been hiding this massive secret#but she hasn’t told anyone. not even her own family. im not hearing out any accusations of HER of being disloyal#- also pen clearly wasn’t that upset at writing about eloise bc the moment eloise and colin upset her she went straight back to it lmao#side note but no i don’t think the queen is going to name her the ‘emerald’ or anything because she’s suddenly in the spotlight#eloise is tbh the only debutante she actually consistently recognised (for good or bad)#a new dress is not going to be interesting for charlotte to change her whole tradition#tl;dr i love eloise and i will die on this hill#eloise bridgerton#bridgerton
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omg guys can i tell u ab my dream because idk how to feel ab it
(check rbs for part 2)
#𝜗𝜚 ctalks#another pjo dream#but basically#for some reason down bad by taylor was playing for the entirety of the dream#and i was at the gym like getting a membership#so i get it and i go to run on the treadmill duhhhh#and i notice this rly buff guys just been staring at me the entire time#so omw out i go up to him#but for some reason i dont say anything#and i stare at him and realise its literally ares#like greek god ares#and he talks to me and hes like is this ur first time at the gym#and im like yeah#and hes like oh i can be ur personal trainer#and im like ok slay duhhh hot guy#so then theres like this montage#where hes my personal trainer#and we eventually start dating#and i end up having his kid#and he obv has to leave and im like kind of upset ab this but not super upset cz i could tell he didnt want to leave#but anw i raise my kid to be super kind and gentle cz im a bit bitter still#and my kid grows up to hate her dad even tho i told her its not his fault n wtv#(she doesnt know her dads ares atp btw)#but anw#timeskip and my kid is at chb doing a quest#and this quest is super dangerous#and it ends w her at mount olympus aka the empire state building#and shes j there and its her first time meeting her dad#and im going over to the empire state building idk how i know shes there#and im panicking forcing the guy at the elevator to let me thru
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Never gonna be over how unutterably pathetic and in dire need of ANY kind of companionship or friendship that doesn't revolve around their band the entirety of dethklok are.
I love these horrible idiots who are so devoid of any real connections outside of themselves that they will latch onto anyone unfortunate enough to get too close to any one of them! And GOD help anyone they latch onto!!
#jay talkin#metalocalypse#im thinking about the doubles episode where they just seem genuinely happy to have 'friends'#who arent like. industry people. these men are so starved of any kind of connection#and it takes them four seasons a rock opera and a movie to realise they can find that in each other lmao#also thinking about how quickly any of them bond and become really intense abt anyone in their life#aka: NATHAN TOWARDS ABIGAIL. oh dear poor abigail oh dear#but also toki to damn near anyone and this goes for the entire band tbh as well they all do this at least once#and yeah its mainly cuz 10min eps mean u gotta progress stuff fast#but also holy shit. charles these boys want friends so bad u gotta set em up on playdates or smth#maybe it'd get some of their dumb stupid idiot energy out and they'd be better behaved. well. no they wldnt but... u can dream#i do think theres smth to be said that yeah all of dethklok are cool theyre metal superstars they r good at what they do#theyre also fucking prophesised saviours too and theyre also incredibly dangerous idiots and terrible ppl#but never forget that they are also. so so SO pathetic and isolated and dysfunctional#these men have not lived in the real world in decades and are disconnected and unsocial and spoilt and u can see that this does impact#the way they interact w the world! they need like. anything other than the band in their lives hah. they do need to pal around#im glad they find that in each other eventually!!#i dont want 2 sound like im babying them or infantilising them these r grown asshole idiot men but like. listen these shitheards r lonelyyy#everyone in their lives is like. assigned to be there and is set as beneath them in a class and workbased system#they dont rlly have ppl who r just there cuz they like em. outside of fans. and fans arent rlly a real connection yknow#their only connections come via work networking sex and violence and worship baby!!!! its fucked up!
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Just when I think the day's going well, I crash a golf cart
#summer camp tag#ace is a mess#i do not have a drivers license and i havent even been behind the wheel in like 4 years since i stopped lessons cus of the pandemic#the day was going fine i got loads done didnt feel like i was irritating my director too bad#doing some paperwork for her and she says when im done well take the golf cart out while its not currently raining#im like ooh fun never been in a golf cart before i see the higher up staff in them im not gonna say no to chilling in a golf cart#i did not realise that meant i would be driving esp when she asked if id been in one before and i said no#she then asked if i could drive and i said not really thought that would be it#cus i was supposed to be studying for my theory before working towards my practical#but no she insists im driving and first off i gotta reverse outta this bay now at least i didnt have to think about gears#but i hate tryna figure out how to turn whilst in reverse in mess with my brain im not great with shape visualisation#we do all our stops its fine for the most part a lil too fast going down some of the hills#and some tight turns but my turns were always like that cus im too busy focusing on the most immediate thing#we get back i park fine and then shes like oh actually there are some more stops we can make so i reverse and turn back out#do our two stops with only minimal confusion about direction then as i go to park into the bay we came from#shes like oh actually park in the bay closest to the health centre and what i should have done was reversed and adjusted my angle#instead i drove directly into the supporting beam separating the two bays 🙃😭#i immediately turn the cart off and expect her to switch with me instead shes like laughing it off oh it was just a little bump it was fine#im like it was not that was a loud ass bang i feel so bad and then she lifts up the light cover i broke off saying its just a scratch#and i feel worse so pf course thats when the camp director comes out to check on the noise and i dont think ive ever worn a guiltier look#but theyre both laughing it off oh just having a little driving lesson :) and i am mortified#she gets back in the cart and shes still insisting that its fine and i should still park after that which i do with great trepidation#but there are no more problems and the lights still work but the cover does need fixing and i just oh my god#ive never crashed before never clipped or scratched a car so of course id crash the golf cart trying to park of all things 😭
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reminder that every single one of the hargreeves siblings' trauma is valid. reginald is the true villain here. nothing more, nothing less.
#some takes realllyyy make me realise u guys need to rethink ur media comprehension#each of their traumas are just as valid as eachother#the whole point of the show is how childhood trauma impacts people and families#if you say “[insert sibling] didnt even have it that bad!!!!!” u r part of the problem#yes this is about luther#the dad sent me to the moon jokes were funny at first but then i js realised that u guys have no concept of how trauma impacts different pp#rant over!!!!!#bel rants#tua#luther hargreeves#again this isnt saying u have to like him but its not an excuse to invalidate his and the other siblings' trauma#oh and im adding lila to this too#shes also js as much of a victim
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#That is a peacock or some kind of quetzlcoatl /big fan
well. 1. yeah smth like that
[ID: tf:rid 01 galvatron/devil gigatron toy in all his alt (and bot) modes. most of them bestial in some way, on two legs or four with wings, the head which looks kinda like a airplain nose. one mode has two black dragon heads. theres also some. vaguely car/jet modes, and one thats stange hand like form. purple and white deco. END]
tf wiki source obvy
2. speaking of peacocks, Quetzalcoatl, or at very least. feathery reptile guys please see contender for possibly. coolest beast-former ever?
[ID: toy for the tf bw neo character archadis, who turns into a Archaeopteryx (extinct very dinosaur like bird). hes got bright green blue plumage on winds and tail feathers. brown/gold or blue on rest. in bot mode the wings come up around him like some kind of toga or cape, the tail feathers are down one arm like a paldron/gaunlet situation. his other arm is the bird head & neck. END]
source
there are other interesting things on his page not his (small) anime appearence so. BESPOKE SCREENCAPS. someone put these on tfwiki for me nothing good could come of me figuring out how to do it myself
[ID: archadis from the beast wars neo anime. 1. him sitting. 2. angled shot flying in bot mode. the wings are not involved in this 3. full body shot of the same. END]
#some shit#its not called cisformers#im.. so tired. IM HAVING FUN. but im so tired. someone. gestures. someone do stuff more me. make it better#<- not actually#i want. an archadis so bad. like. not really much of a character and idk what i would. DO with him. but even. just like him. or maybe if#they revisited him. but like. only if they made it actually good.#wanting to show him off but then to the page and remembered. HOW UNDER SEVERED beast wars neo is on there.#SAD! also strange. i feel like its a perfectly watchable and sucessful show. more so than say. even the g1 animes at times.#or u know. everyones favourite punching bags shows (handwaves)#anyway so then i checked my own personally screenshots and realised. I ALSO UNDERSEVERED IT. whoooops. so these are from just right now
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God I'm so fucking annoyed how come she gets to treat me however she likes and then gets to say she didn't mean it?????
#have u considered not constantly comparing me to ur abusive husband who hit u??????#since i was like 8 its really fucking weird#like who in their right mind tells their child theyre naturally destructive just like their father and then says ohhhhh but i didnt mean it#are u fucking insane#doesnt help that i look like him too everyone tells me that#and now she acts like me raising my voice once means she needs to walk on eggshells around me wtf#what about how u treated me from ages 13-16#freak#i cant believe this shes treating me like im some scary stranger as if shes not the one with full financial control and that im this horribl#person go kill yourself omgjdjsjsjwjwwhwhhw#fuck u#last year was the worst year of my life and that was wholy bc of u you showed me what place i really have in this family and that it was not#hing. how is sveryrone so ready to throw me away??#yet everyone else gets to say shes sooo proetctive and loving fuck off you wouldnt even tell them youre treating me badly diedie diediediedi#i want to cut so bad bro#but i promised myself i wont so#i mean i dont even have any way of gettibg blades so whatver#just remembered her reaction to me cutting#nothing. yeah absolutely no reaction. i thought the worat thing that could happen was her gettjbg mad at me again but no#i realised there was somwthing worse. she just straight up doesnt care#useless mother#im fine w u treating me like shit ive accepeted it that i have no place in anyone's life unlesss i hive into this but at least#at least stop trying to confront me like this#just let me rot in peace#i really dont want to do this anymore#any time now she'll ask me if i was pretending to cry so i wpuldnt have to go out w her now#as if that isnt insulting#and then she'll say i wasnt trying to be rude!!! as if she hasnt always treated me like none of my feelings r real. i only ever overeact. ok
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physically restraining myself ffrom drawing more,,,,,,,,,,,,
#i want to so bad#but i need to at least take a break n eat....#my plan of just swtching 2 my left hand doenst work so good.... cus the lefty got rusty Fast#OH SHIT#just realised the last2 posts r legit the first non left hand art ive posted 2 this account Ever i think???#(i reblogged the few non lefty posts from the ask blog but that wasnt Posted here so doesnt count)#damn wtf#thast fucked up#looking at my art tag im already like#how the fuck did i do that?#gonna eat now n if im still in a drawing mood after i might post the drawpile link if anyone wants to join me? :3c#gonna try n swicth 2 my left tho..... cus..... i.. am... responsible.....................#rambles#edit: not gonna do that.. its late ish n i shoudl like.............slee p i guess... i am tired so....#but very much do wanna do a drawpile or something sometime >:3c
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i love to read meta of knives as an abuser and nod my head thoughtfully at all great points and then once the post ends i go back to considering him as my darling son who never did anything wrong ever
#let him out your honour yeah he did it all but i dont care#he had some points#so what he and his twin brother fell into and perpetuated the cycle of abuse that hurts each other#they broke out of it at the end. that has to count#“we cant go back. we cant be those brothers again. so ill kill you if you kill me. why didnt you kill me. WHY DID YOU SAVE ME”#and then at the end he did the thing vash tried to save him from anyway (disappearing forever and ever and ever and ever and )#sorry. lots of thoughts abt these tragic siblings#forever thinking about how vash threw the first stone between them#like that fuckssssss me up#i know tristamp changed that#but to me its always. knives loving him thru violence bc its the only way that makes sense. only for vash to use it on him#so of course knives lashed out. imagine realising the thing u use to protect ur brother can hurt you back just as bad#imagine killing a town of people that hurt your brother only for him to shoot you#and then you cut his arm off#not taking any critique at this time. im fully aware of the text. im just choosing to love him anyway :)#this is also why i find swap fic sooooo compelling. where vash is the dangerous one and knives is his victim#oooo u are two sides of the same coin. you could have been each other if only a few things went differently#but you could never be The Same
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no big updates because i finally got a full-time job, and i have a lot of commissions and trades to draw. BEAR with me here guys 🥱
#fallout#fnv#courier six#oc: wendy#oc: aletus#he was supposed to be a goat but i recently found out that its an acronym for 'greatest of all time'#which he's not#chicken suits him better#ALSO if yall interested#i really like my new job#i was scared but my colleagues are genuinely so nice and the work is fun#i initially left uni because of how fucking alone i was and my untreated autism made me terrified of doing ANYTHING in public#it was. cosmically bad. that bad i fucking left the campus as soon as i could and just came back home 😭#but now im here and i like my job and my mental health is not declining and im fine :) for the most part#these two semeters in hell were actually useful tho#i realised im asexual + i improved my english#YES for everyone asking YES aletus is a history teacher 😭😭😭
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I could talk for a whillee abt how good I think family in flames was in fh s1
#i.really love the jail scenes. perfect mixture of funny escape scenes#and inncrredible scenes with the parents.#i think fig and sandralynn at this time are so interesting how fig rejects her reaching out and how sandralynn looked just like fig when she#was younger... the clear sadness of sandralynn that fig pushes her away again. the blame fig puts on her for gorthalax leaving#SOOO GOOD#amd then the fabian and bill scene BROTHER.....#i fucking LOVE that scene and what i love so much is they never get a chance to even talk abt it before hes killed#bc bill starts the fight but fabian finishes it its all fabians frustration and i reallylike when bill tries to get up after fabian stops#and fabian just beats him fown again LOVE IT SO BAD people do not talk abt it enough#and like thats only the prison scenes. the scene where adaine finds out shes the oracle is sooo good and WHERE THEY FINF OUT GOLDENHOARD god#ITS SO GOODDD the reveal is so crazy good#AND THEN THEEEE FJCJVNGJ. THE ATTACKS ON THE HOUSES. its genuinely so fucking stressful they need to do more shit like that i rememeber#shitting myself watcjing it likeee#fabians scenes CRAZY going for his mother and his fatehr dies#EMILY FIRST TIME CRYING ON D20 AND IT WAS SO GOOD her and her mommmmm..... she realises how shes just a personnn...oh i feel ill#figs reluctance tk go to the faeth house at all.Ugh.UGHHHH#RIZ FINDINNG OUT ABT HIS DADDDD oh my lorddd#anywayUmm to anyone who read this..im so sorry i love to talk
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Random tangent: I don’t think Jason would internationally hurt people around Bruce to get at Bruce. I feel like at most they’d be collateral damage. Idk I’m relying heavily on my flawed memory of utrh for this tho. His interactions with Dick there was too minimal for me to get a proper read on him.
I feel like this is one of those up to interpretation type deals where I firmly believe he would considering how he reacted to seeing Bludhaven get destroyed - he was way more concerned with using it as an opportunity to hurt Bruce then showing one ounce of care if Dick was alive or not - as well as the interaction he had earlier with oynx - I'm gonna go on my own wee tangent opps so heres the thing I think people misunderstand about Jason he a ends justify the means type guy and people get confused bc of that line he says to Bruce later when he's says smth like "I'm not talking about two face or riddler just joker" but the thing is he was talking about Bruce only having to kill the Joker not himself - Jason has already shown multiple times by that point that he is willing to kill a lot of people if he thinks that they will justify his ends - that includes killing henchmen and lower criminals and its not like he's finding out everything about everyone who gets in his way to see if they deserve to die no Jason is more violent then a lot of people seem to be willing to admit and he's willing to own up to that violence bc to him it's justified and to try and get back to the actual point (sorry anon about that) Jason's means justify the ends thing also means he doesn't mind hurting dick or oynx unnecessarily to antagonise Bruce
#ask#anon#like i said tho#this is one of those#its up for interpretation#like i firmly believe that jason is more willing to use violence against those close to bruce to hurt bruce#but i understand why people may disagree#its the same with the whole#did Jason actually expect or want bruce to kill the joker#im firmly in the no side#i do think people need to realise just how violent jason is#like before he died#hed probably be closer to how people think he is#he thought that it was okay for a select few to die#but they had to be scum of the earth bad#now hes a wee bit more flexible
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