#its nice to have a friend or two around
Text
Getting to know people
Based on @acetrigunweek day 3's quote
#trigun#trigun maximum#midvalley the hornfreak#ace trigun week#hi im back with another ace midvalley art🕴#apothisexual more specifically#ive been thinking abt how to illustrate this correctly for so long and finally got it out of my system *jumps and clicks my heels*#i have so many thoughts abt the way he views the people and the world around him#he kills ppl for sure but i dont think he necessarily hates them#its nice to have a friend or two around#but his charm is taken for flirting by others when he's just a social butterfly who cant stick to eavesdropping and ppl watching#sometimes a guy just wants a comforting human bond without having to follow through the unwritten steps of the relationship recipe#you know?#shinxo art#shinxo comic
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
im a firm egg pilgrim believer and also that if scollace were to ever be a thing they would Never be endgame. which works out pretty nicely
#scott pilgrim#thunder rambles#the timeline is ramona is trans woman and after months of being with her scott starts to question his own identity#less like 'what if im trans' or 'what if im bi' and more just 'what if i could be queer in literally any way'#which hasnt occurred to him in any conceivable way#and he experiements with ramona and then they decide to have an open relationship and maybe#maybe!#during this time scott hooks up with wallace#and maybe theyve kissed once or twice while drunk before this in college but w/e#and they have a thing for a month or two and its nice but not all that serious and actually it does more to bring scott and wallace together#as friends#than it does anything else#because scott is gradually more and more open about the way hes been questioning#and also in general because this is post-canon scott is a better person in general and sure wallace was awre of this theoretically#but now hes seeing it firsthand and they become the closest and most genuinely friends theyve been in ages#and then they kinda stop hooking up and then a while later scott's egg cracks#and its like the umbrella academy car meme. what if ur egg was slowly cracking and the overlap between ur experimentation#with ur identity and the egg fully cracking finally allowed u to mess around with ur cool gay roommate#for a limited period of time before your identities no longer line up for that anymore#anyway yea also ramona realises shes kinda nonbinary and has a sort of transgender 2: electric boogaloo moment#gives all her leftover estrogen to scott😭😭or something
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
it kind of sucks when all your friends and family, everyone you know, are all pairing off and getting married and havinf families, except you. you're the only one that doesn't have a partner and probably can/will never get one. especially if one around you has time for you anymore, they never reach out, never get back to you, because they're only focused on their partners and families. you're stuck alone and drift away from everyone through no fault of your own. you have no hope of finding your own partner or no motivation to look for one for whatever reason. the lack of connections while seeing everyone around you having their own can get overwhelmingly lonely at times....
#autism#autistic#asexual#aromantic#these are probably the two factors that put me in this position#im undateable because im too autistic to form any connections with people and cant even make or keep friends around for long#so how would i ever try to date anyone????#and also asexual which makes it harder. and aromantic (not sure what kind if its like demi and i just need to meet “the one”#and form a connection first to actually have any feelimgs for anyone or not sure if I simply cannot experience romantic attraction#either way its a lonely existence in a world where 99% of people pair off or obsessed with trying to partner up#and theres less value/time/effort put on friendships#ON TOP OF being autistic and forming any connections at ALL is an extremely difficult task that seems to always fail on me!#lee rants#lee rambles#im actually visiting a friend and her gf (who is also friend but we are less close) so i know not everyone partners and shuns friends#but they live in another country and i cant visit all the time so it doesnt help this lonely shit feeling all the time D: to have ~1 friend#would be nice to have all the close benefits and of a dating partnership without the physical stuff and pressure of “dating”#if thar makes sense. best friends but life patners. the person is obligated to help me and bw there for me at all times#someone who chooses me first instead of others. someone that doesnt make me their last choice all the time#their very comfortable to be around and we relate and get along perfectly and make up for each others weaknesses#my favorite person and im their favorite person#they usually always say yes to me and include me and im their first choice for eveything#they respect my needs and boundaries and work with me if we have a misunderstanding or disagreement.#its so hard to find people like this. someone who matches me well enough to fit all these picky things i want#someone who would like me enough to be like this. someone im comfortable with and like who fits the energy i want#even if someone liked ME enough and was these thjngs if they arent comfortable or match my energy then i dont want them#im not desperate enough to take Anyone ans im extremely picky about it#being aroace makes any kind of datimg very hard because theres ~less fish in the sea~#but being autistic makes it EVEN HARDER becuase i cant even make and keep FRIENDS so how would i have a /partner/ ?????#sighs. i think im meant to live a lonely life and need to learn to accept it
63 notes
·
View notes
Text
lmao looking at her insta highlights was a mistake
#i feel worse WHY DOES SHE HAVE TONED MUSCLES UGHHH#also my confidence has gone down a tiny bit bc why is she hanging out w all these cool ppl#how is this girl simultaneously a lawyer and also has her social life on max like give me a break#thered a photo of her walking around in heaven either before closing or after opening shes sooo#HOWEVER. i just had a call w her yesterday that made me realise my idea of romance is more romantic than her idea of romance#but also that she doesnt want to do smth super romancey on a 3rd date which according to my friends is fair but according to my heart#it is not. like why are u on a date if u dont wanna do anything romancey at that point just hang out w friends#odd of her to say that too considering our first two dated were quite romantic . anyway#yo this cafe is playing persian music nice. anyway yh#also she makes being middle eastern so gay yk the goodbye fake cheek kiss thing we do . where u like . kiss the air on the sides of the#persons face when ur saying goodbye. ygwim . yeah she doesnt do the fake air kisses she gives u two tender kisses like . anyway#i discussed the stuff she does w my friend and like why r her words so aloof and her actions so...not . and my friends reaction was#basically this is fuckboy behaviour. apparently he used to do that to girls ?? like tell them he rly liked them#and be all charming and romantic even tho he rly wasnt invested at all and he mostly wanted to hook up. like ok#im gonna kill myself then. why would u stroke my hair w my head on ur LAP THEN. WHAT IF SHE TURNS AROUND AND IS LIKE#oops it was nothing#....ill kms actually. no i womt. but anyway#also got added to the gc w the other lecturers givjng talks on the 6th so its getting more real#my friend was like did u do the script yet :))) . almost died shes so scary i love her . but . fuck two exams . crush. talk. ucl cambrdige#three conferences aaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAA im so anxious i dont even feel anything atp#......I HAVE NO MONEY!!! TO TOP IT OFF#my crush and i are both iranian (aka born w extremely expensive taste woven into our genes) but i wanna like#treat her w the entire 2 quid in my bank account ig ♡♡♡#crushposting
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
moms getting competitive w her eating disorder again
#she keeps mimicking how ive been living and now that ive been sliding back and restricting again due to stress#she's been body checking around me more talking about how much she works out how 'toned' she looks#and dishing up smaller portions than me only eating half and then saying 'oh i'm so full...marie#if you can't finish yours just throw the rest out...'#she had her friend over yesterday and the poor woman made the mistake of confiding in my mother and i about her ed#and i gave her some advice for recovery & let her know that anorexia is hard to tackle esp when you're taking care of someone else at the#same time but its doable..and she was asking about what i do when i relapse#and obv i didnt go into detail so as not to like. give any ideas. but it was nice to have someone Nice to relate to on that front#immediately my mom jumps in with 'oh i restrict too! thats what i do! i go days without eating and count my calories.#marie doesnt work out like i do because their therapist said not to..but i work out so i can stay toned and confident.' like no you dont#it hurts me that shes doing this shit to herself but i know shes doing it in front of me to feel superior because she Always Has#its CYCLICAL with her. as soon as my gf left the mask came back off and she was right back to the mama i know#using MY CLOTHES to body check using MY MIRROR infront of me i feel insane.#like i told her i feel disgusting because i gained two pounds and im at 114 now and she immediately started talking about her weight and#that we need to stop buying 'junk food'#MOMM....OH MY GOOOD...#whatever whatever . i'll get over it in a few mins im just pissy in general and i feel like i live with a 15 yr old sometimes.#ed ment#i will say it uswd to be worse when she wasnt in therapy n shit but hhghhthtnf even my dad who is Never Home has picked up pn it and has#started checking her and telling her to keep it between yhem bc i dont. i canr handle that rn dude
33 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#holy christ I just saw THEEEE most chronically online never felt the gentle warmth of a nice sunny day on your skin take I think ever posted#PARAGRAPHS AND PARAGRAPHS AND PARAGRAPHS when a simple 'why do you care' would have sufficed#its astounding what matters to you people and i mean that with malice#touching grass is not enough you people need new organs to create a shift dynamic enough to break you out of these cycles#maybe a full blood transfusion with someone whose life doesn't revolve around performative anger or dunking on internet strangers#i just genuinely want to know where you get the energy to CARE about something so fucking innocuous#how do you maintain friends with this constant anger burning in your heart there's no way it doesn't bleed into the rest of your life#I was gonna stay up and read for a bit but just seeing the depths this person went to emptied my reserves good NIGHT#i hope that op finds joy in the mundane someday or dies like one of the two
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
the homoeroticism of sharing a cigarette while overlooking a city you both want to save and are willing to sacrifice everything to do so while desperately clinging to the hope you both can somehow still live to see another sunrise.
#shoutout to batgordon gotta be one of my favourite pairs that makes my mutuals annoyed <33#its about having that boundary and barrier that literal mask staring you in the face every single time you talk — the painful reminder you#will never know the man underneath it entirely! yet still that trust to uphold his secret identity! to not peek or rip it off! to not turn#around when he uncowls himself behind you in a theatrical show of HIS trust! its about not opening your eyes while bandaging his injuries#and as your fingers graze the skin that you dont allow yourself to see! its about seeing this mask and accepting it as part of the man and#something he must do and have! its about finding the other person that actually cares about this city as much as you do!#everyone around you is telling you its hopeless yet you remain that hope! you remain dedicated to it and your sisyphus labour because#theres such a small possibility that one day things WILL get better and that's enough to keep you going! its about finding the other person#that has sacrificed and sabotaged their own happiness and life for this city!#its about the smoke burning in your lungs and the cold air you two will always share — if youre lucky.#its about having a consensual workplace relationship that neither of you will acknowledge!#and why should you! theree no point! its never going to happen; gotham and your family is always going to the priority for both of you#but god the stars are beautiful tonight and its so nice to have a friend that actually understands why youre bleeding for this city#its also about sad old men sex & bittersweet heartache memories shared of watching this hungry city shift and change as your blood feeds it
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
took a bunch of clothes to my mom's to wash them since my washing machine is still down and she said 'ill do it dw about it' and threw my favourite white top in with the colours. i no longer have a favourite white top :)
#and i cant even be mad at her because her husband is dead#lol and lmao#anyway the top is now the ugliest greyish minty colour and it looks horrible#normally i wouldnt mind. like there were two white tops and the other also got dyed and idc#but this one had a more unique idc shape? whatever you call that. and it was one of the very few crop tops#that really made me feel good about my body. like not even 'ok i guess i dont look like something that crawled out of a garbage bin'#but genuinely 'good'#and it feels so stupid to be this upset over such a small thing but i feel like ive been at the very limit for the last few days#with everyone fucking crying around me#that this genuinely feels like a tragedy to me rn lol#anyway im being nice and i keep saying its no big deal and nvm but ig you can see that im upset#so now SHE'S mad that I'M mad even tho im not even being a bitch about it im just Sad lol#kms#anyway i feel like shit and it all feels so overwhelming and to think that ill have to spend the long weekend in may here too#my dad and his gf will be at my place in wrocław going to concerts cause there's some sort of festival#all my friends will be chilling and having fun#and i cant even go to prague or vice versa because ill have to be here. having the time of my life with my mother and my grandpa#losing my mind and getting panick attacks in the bathroom lol
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
this is the third person to leave my dm on delivered but posting on their story…..
#for the first two its been weeks#guys im mature and ofc i dont think they hate me and want me to die but#how normal can you act when you are trying to make new friends and communicate but they aren’t receptive at all#rmring why i dont use my main ig#but this go around i want to be an active participant in my irl social life and the kids use ig right?#and yet….#me#i have a hard time making friends as you can tell :p#if you are still here thanks…..but let me tell you a little story#one of the friends i seen on the bus#and she was smiling at me but wearing a mask but i can tell#i didnt recognize her at first and it was 5pm so i was like nigga got a staring problem 😐#but then realized when i sat down i was like o 😃#maybe she was just being nice but if you really fwm youd answer my dm and TALK TO ME 😭😭
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
really wishing i could move out and live with my friends, i think that would heal me
#we had my moms friends over for the past two days and its been rushed prelaring for the vusit and stuff#but now they went back home and its so quiet (granted its morning so thats also ot but u know)#its been nice hearing their laughter and them talking etc around the house#and its making me wish i could go live with my friends and have that sort of joy and laughter all the time :(#luna.txt
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
tumblr continues to remind me that ppl who constantly go on abt how theyre woke, inclusive, and a safe space actually, in fact, are not
and its the ppl you least expect to be those actual things
#still laughing at how almost all my other friend groups make me feel not included even tho they were purportedly safe spaces#when its the group of latinos who make racist/homophobic jokes and throw around slurs like no ones business that are like..actually nice#and make me feel included#they arent just latino people- theres some other poc folk too- theyre just mostly latino with a couple others mixed in#theres two white people- me and our british friend#ive been nicknamed huesos and i hold that name dear to my heart#i also have another nickname but tumblr will tear me apart in my inbox if i say it LMFAO
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
otakuthon haul !!!!!
diluc bag + aranara mousepad + elemental coasters + chiluc charms that came with these little beans:
khoi-signed albedo print (picture doesnt do it justice, all of the gold on this print is holographic and its gorgeous)
griffin-signed childe print (also bad lighting, this thing is also gorgeous)
massive (and beautiful) alhaitham print + chiluc print + freebie pit sticker i got for being (probably) the only fellow chiluc shipper at the con
+ little guy charms
#personal#my partner also got me a shark plushie and an aranara lanyard and a rly nice owl pin#i got them the matching childe bag + some HSR stuff#also bought a few things for a friend#probably more than i should have skgjdkgj#all around this con had its ups and downs but i definitely enjoyed it#the VA stuff was probably my favorite though#the english VA all-stars panel + khoi and laura's 18+ anime adlibs panel + the like 90sec where i got to talk to khoi and griffin skgjdjgdk#my only slight disappointment is not getting a print from laura (and keith but that was never gonna happen anyway)#we arrived too late on friday to work out how the autograph sessions worked and it was way way too crowded on saturday#and then we only had a couple hours on sunday so i was only able to nab smth from those two#but hopefully. there will be other chances in the future
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
I'm still thinking about red undead sorry everyone
#bought together do not separate..#lowkey thinking about the idea of them going out with friends till the end and both of them just kinda drifting off to do their#own kinda thing.. i think like Naka would just sit in his lap and cuddle close. Kinda to just have their own lil conversation or tease.#like rrgaghhh.. Getting lost in one another.. enjoying eachothers company.#I can imagine em just both admiring the other and weird yearn soft gazing and soft purring between them..#Someone tries to bother em and theyre just like no... //either politely ignores or just flat out ignores agdndofj#soft smooches between them.#(Gay mode(#also i think a lot of Nakas friends would think its kinda cute? Of course one or two are like.. why did you even bother showing up..#but its kinda nice to see someone kinda not drift so far out? Kinda nice to see him find a lil bit of boundaries and actually choose#to hang solo with someone.. they saw that with zevire and hagvin so its like aaghhhhhh#Plus i think when he does go around Aitreo he is kinda oracticing a bit of like. Restraint with his smoking/drinking/drug use?#Its not easy sometimes but its also a knowing step hes taking not to be unhinged and indulge a little too much#really wants to remember the actual moments.. be present to whats going on. Aghh
4 notes
·
View notes
Video
when clock turned midnight last night (er this morning) a vaporeon outbreak showed up... 16 defeated and THIS BABY BOY SPAWNED
IM ABOUT TO EV TRAIN A THIRD GODDAMN VAPOREON IN THIS GAME
LOOK AT HIM GO
#pokemon scarlet and violet#pkmn sv#sammy liveblogs about violet#i tried the 60+ battle then sandwhich and picknic refresh but had no luck for 20 minutes to see if i could get another#but was having no luck after 20 minute so i fcked around in the ocean for the last 10#and then with 3 minutes left found a shiny magikarp so i had to save it sdkjfhs#i almost have a full box of shinies in this game#i have 29 shinies sob#one shiny is not mine BUT i gave my friend a shiny so it's like equal exchange#she CAUGHT 4 SHINY WOOPERS WITH A SANDWICH#and she gave me one which was perfect BC I WANTED TO GIVE HER MY DUPLICATE SHINY FEMALE LITLEO#sammy be quiet#sammy no#im just glad people found out you DONT need salty herba mystica for sparkling power#and can use whatever two you want#so i like to do a sandwhich and fuck around (obv only saving if i get a shiny)#and then go raid until i make the two herbs back up#i still have a surplus but its nice to get them back#ITS SO MUCH EASIER TO DO WITH THIS A FRIEND THO AND DISCONNECT SO WE'RE IN OUR OWN WORLDS#i have more herba mystica then jelly so i dont mind using and then only saving after if i get a shiny#BUT MOSTLY JUST MULTIPLAYER SANDWHICHES GIVE YOU MORE FUCKING BUN SPACE#we did a rock one together yesterday....... and that requires two servings of bacon....#i... i dont want to do that by myself how the fuck do i fit it all on the tiny single player sandwich#anyways SHINY VAPOREON LOOKS SO GOOD IN THIS GAME#i feel like its a little lighter than in arceus and i like that
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
god wants me to kill myself sooooo fucking bad lately lol nice try bitch im queer
#you dont even fuxking know#the number of. literally impossible coincidences that have taken place to make my life just so much shittier lately#i have been sooo strong ive written like two dozen text posts just bitching and bitching about the sheer fuxking insanity of it and i only#posted like one of them im doing so good being so strong#that said i want to fucking die today lol this shit is melting my brain#it just never ends#the past two weeks have just been... so bad lol#i havent been able to see my bank balance in weeks i just know im so in the fucking hole it doesnt even matter#i havent had a working phone in a month#my family just vacationed in hawaii and im living in a moldy trailer#and the physical and mental health just go and go and go#and the mold grows and groes and grows#my friend offered me a top of the line pc for free and it felt like offering a homeless guy who loves music a grand piano#like yeah lemme just keep that under the bridge downtown where i stay lol#itll be fine#its like all the nice things id love to experience are dangled just out of reach of my fuckin cell bars lol#might fuck around and get addicted to a third substance in light of hope being a fool's errand in a truly random universe#life isnt guarunteed to get better no matter how long you wait or how hard you try actually and that is a hard fucking truth for everyone#alcohol is free and can keep your mind off how much mold & dust you breathe daily & breathed in the past 2 years & thats also a hard truth#also reading this i need to clarify in case anyone else reads this shitsheet. i do not want to vacation in hawaii. colonizer shit#what i wouldnt fucking do for just a week up by priest lake tho :(
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
wow three days back on this account and im already venting.
#i know my mom is trying her best i know things suck for her rn but why doesnt she get that she doesnt have monopoly over the#family mental illness quota like i fucking stg. istg. two days ago i break down in front of her and she's all nice and telling me that#my mental health matters and she knows things are hard for me and im all traumatized and i csnt keep ignoring it and i have to take care of#myself because i need to prioritize myself and today she's bitching because she needed to call me in for Job Work Student Stuff#and i was less than enthusiastic and she tried to talk with me about my attitude and i was like 'its literally taking every ounce of energy#i have not to off myself rn and to deal with my own shit and you want me to deal with everyone else's'#cue the discussion about how i dont even do that much anymore and if Anyone has the right to be mentally ill its HER and im never around#for her anymore when she needs me and oh im talking about offing myself but i also give myself personal time and talk to my friends#and its just. oh my god i fucking hate this and i hate everythign. you win i guess? mental illness go poof
2 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
po-belka
Belka???
cliickermiller
Ellie and Joel Miller
cvnfetti
multifandom edits
fmp1liamberry
FMP1LIAMBERRY
exomoon
🐊