#its not my faaault

[moreclaypigeons]

"they should not make me do school" says the guy who is actively enrolling in college classes,

[pink-key]

@beelaboola He probably eats raw meat and fish, if he is lucky, mixed with nuts and berries and whatever he finds, so anything you make him, he will eat it with delight

Huh, huh how does it feel to be weak for a hobo killer, huh?!-

[avert-disaster]

.

[youre-in-big-trouble]

Awww! Someone's little weak bladder couldn't take all of that water!

its not weak its not weeeak!! i held it in for so long, and i-- and the, the last two times i "went" it was just little gushes! i could have made it if it wasnt for all the unfair stuff!!

i bet that!! if you gave me another challenge, i could do it! i can prove how strong my bladder is!! all these accidents are just, just. just because,

i dont know why!! but its not my faaault, i can hold ittt >///<

[bugsmoocher]

keep thinking about donovans huge innocent looking pocket dungeon eyes.

donovan and luans bust out of jail strat would be luan looking at him like "don . do the thing" and donovan going "no its embarrassing" but then after 5 minutes of convincing he starts fake crying and sniffling and being pathetic with his big ol sad puppy eyes like "LUAN HAS A SON AT HOME I GOT HIM INTO CRIME JUST LET HIM GO ILL DO BOTH OF OUR TIMES PLEASE HES ALL THAT HIS SON HASSS THIS IS ALL MY FAAAULT HIS SON IS PROBABLY SCARED AND COLD AND" and the guards get uncomfortable and let luan go so donovan shuts up. then luan comes back and breaks him out like "i could practically hear the sad violins that time good job man"

thats why donovan doesnt show his face around town too btw. he cant. hes embarrassed. hes the crybaby pickpocketeer and he knows it

[writeawayjake]

Dawnbringer update!!! 2 CHAPTERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chapter 32 By all accounts 

            There are few accounts of the now infamous "Battle of Barrowdale", as it has come to be called, even fewer that do not conflict with one another. Even sources that were there cannot seem to agree on certain facts, but one thing remains certain, the people of Barrowdale fought tooth and nail to protect their homes and dignity from the wretch known as the "Thief King".

             Some accounts claim it rained all day, some say it snowed, some reports claim the Thief King had hundreds of men others claim it was merely dozens. There are accounts that say the townsfolk were reduced to throwing roof tiles and rocks, some that they threw bombs and filled the skies with arrows. 

             The singular remaining fact that stays consistent in all accounts is the valor of the Dawnbringer and his companions. It is said his mage sister hurled bolts of fury from the heavens and when those were spent she fought like a warrior queen. The Sheriff of Barrowdale was said to be stout, resolute, and tireless in his efforts to keep pace with the legend fighting alongside him. The famous Dawnbringer is described as he had been for years; fearless, implacable, and relentless - fighting unlike any knight or legionnaire, instead showing his true nature; not a warrior, a killer, or back alley scrapper, but as a true soldier, a defender of his fellow man.

              No doubt he looked the part, for tales told of a man wielding a glowing sword whilst clad in a legionnaire's armor. It's unclear how he had attained such finery seeing as how his own had been destroyed before his desertion, that and the fact that this particular suit carried a quite conspicuous crest on it's helmet, denoting it's wearer as a distinguished officer.

No doubt the Dawnbringer earned his armor that day. They all did.

              Despite all their heroism and bravery however, by the battles end, the Thief King had played one final unscrupulous trick.

Chapter 33

Muck

              Amidst the muck churned up by the rain, one could hardly find any solid footing. Sinking in up to his ankles Jared trudged toward the thief king and his rabble. All of them with blades drawn - weapons at the ready. He had stopped counting by the seventh brigand. A week ago he wouldn’t have taken those odds, or maybe he would have depending on the amount of mead.

              What kind of man are you going to be? His father's voice asked, echoing in his mind.

              With every step, the answer became more and more clear. Sometimes being a hero wasn't enough - sometimes you needed to let the monsters out. That’s exactly what he would have done. He would have visited every kind of hell imaginable on them. Torn them apart. Cut, gouged, and smashed until there were just red stains. But that wasn’t the case today. The acid in his blood, the fire in his bones, it simply wasn’t there. Now there was only peace. 

             For the first time in he didn't know how long his sword hand was steady. Slowly it gripped the hilt, fingers wrapping tightly around the dark and supple leather. For the first time in he didn't know how long, he wasn't afraid.

             He couldn't afford to be. They needed him to be brave so he would be. He'd forgotten the feeling. The feeling that came with being “heroic”.

             It's not about you. Lyra's voice croaked.

             Warrior or soldier? The old man asked. 

             You were always taking the hits for someone else. His sister sighed.

             "Let her go." The Dawnbringer said, almost in a whisper, yet somehow all could hear it over the pattering rain.

             “I can’t do that.” the dead eyed youth replied. His knife at the young girls throat. “I’m responsible for them… I gotta keep them fed.” Those words rang through Jared’s head. They were words he’d said many times in another life.

             Lowering the point of his sword Jared’s resolve faltered for a moment. There was something familiar about this boy king. Something that tugged at his memory. It reminded him of a scrawny underfoot pickpocket that used to pester him all day.

             “Finn?” Jared asked, hoping he was wrong.  

             Something in the boys eyes changed, They went soft for half a heartbeat. 

            “Boss?” They boy asked in a hoarse whisper.

            "Wh - what are you doing?" Jared asked in disbelief.

            "I'm doing my job…" the young king replied. "They rely on me. You would've done the same."

            "Finn… you're hurting people. That's not what I taught you."

            "You taught me how to survive. Came in handy after you abandoned us." The boy paused, a sense of pain in his voice. "After you left, it went back to the way it used to be. The beatings, the abuse, the hunger… We needed someone to protect us and where were you?"

            The cracking of the boys voice as he held back tears - it broke his heart. But what truly shattered it was that he was right. 

            It'sssssss your faaault. The voice whispered. Coward. False hero...Failure.

           Tears began to flow from Jared's eyes, hiding in the rain that was drenching them all. The slab of guilt slowly sliding down his throat. Swallowing it, he replied to his former ward.

           "You're right… I should have been there." Jared said solemnly. "I was supposed to protect you and I failed." 

           A confused look spread across the thief king's face, as if he hadn't expected that reply from Jared. 

          "You were Red Jared!" Finn shouted.

          A murmur spread throughout the rabble. Some voiced disbelief others too young to have been there, confusion.

          "No one in the burrough crossed you… you were a beast. They said a whole generation walked with a limp because of you - and now?"

          Jared lowered his head, not knowing the words that could explain what he had been. That a lion doesn't roar for the pleasure of it, but to keep the other, worse, beasts at bay. He tried with all his might to speak like a father, like a good father.

          "I know you're angry. And I know you think what you're doing is right. But this isn't you… you're a good boy Finn."

          "Angry?" He asked incredulously, as if he were offended by the notion. "This has nothing to do with anger, this is business." 

          "Finn. Don't. Don't make me do this." Jared begged, his voice cracking.

          "I gotta keep them fed." He replied coldly. As the two kept their gazes fixed on one another Skye began slowly lifting the crystal, the knife still at her throat, her eyes screaming what she needed Jared to do. 

          With a sigh Jared simply repeated his plea, "Finn…"

          "Another word - and I cut her throat." The king snarled. 

          Skye clenched her jaw struggling against his grip.

          With a horrible sense of purpose, he clenched his eyes and slowly drew the sword, his sword from its sheath - its light shining like the moon. Its runes and wards once again seeing the light of day after having been stifled in darkness for so long. Its edge, keen and hard, unchipped and unmarked - beautiful and deadly as the day it was made.

         In its day that sword had been swung with every intention the human heart can know save one. It had known hate, anger, and bloodlust. It had been used to protect the innocent and punish the wicked. To kill and to save. But today it had to do something terrible.

         All across the throng of bandits as well as the townsfolk prepared to battle them, gasps could be heard as well as hushed voices whispering, 

         "The Dawnbringer… It's him, The Dawnbringer?...He's The sword… Gods... The arm… I thought he'd be taller."

         "So that's why you left." Finn said almost defeated. As if he'd been robbed of his moral victory.

         "No." Jared replied solemnly. "I left to kill the son of a bitch that took her from me. I fought armies and monsters, crossed half the world, and bled in the mud. I lost one family after another, all to get to him…I can't let you hurt her." Pausing to raise the point of the sword at the thief king Jared continued. "I'm only gonna ask one more time Finn. Let. Her. Go."

         A grim resolve had taken hold of him now. Words had failed him, of course they had he wasn't a diplomat, steel however, that was far more reliable. He'd given them a chance. He'd given Finn a chance. A choice. Whatever happened next, was their decision. 

        After a long silence the thief King made his reply, his heart poisoned with years of hate. "Fuck you." He spat.

        With tears in his eyes Jared swung the ancient blade.

@emdop @create-and-procrastinate just so ya’ll know I’m not dead lol

[dazaiapologism]

kekkai sensen? 😲

haven’t heard of it | absolutely never watching | might watch | currently watching | dropped | hated it | meh | a positive okay | liked it | liked it a lot! | loved it | a favorite

don’t watch period | drop if not interested within 2-3 episodes | give it a go, could be your thing | 5 star recommendation

fav characters: zapp and chain no question hands fucking dooooowwn least fav characters: starphase but its not his faaault i dont actually dislike his character but he sounds like mori and it makes me want to kill him fav relationship: dog and brody because they are like essentially just anime venom and eddie brock fav moment: i got so emotional at the s1 finale like it really almost made me cry and i had not been emotionally invested at all before then headcanons/theories: ZAPP HAS SUCH CHAOTIC BISEXUAL ENERGY ALSO LESBIAN CHAIN OR DEATH unpopular opinion: i cant imagine theres many strongly held opinions at all with this but i hated the way they tried to hint at chain having a crush on starphase when she is OBVIOUSLY a lesbian how’d you find it: one of my irl friends showed me the first couple eps! random thoughts: its very fun the anime goes really fast but like despite that it is still relatively easy to pick up on the kinds of characters they are and the animation is fucking fun as hell and ugh the ENDING! i dont feel deeply invested in the characters but i still really enjoyed it

[namelessspacehybrid]

Tag you’re it

I was tagged by some weeb @raphadelialovesyou​ lol 

Rules: Copy this post into a new text post, remove my answers, put in yours, and when you are done tag up to ten people and also tag the person who tagged you… And most importantly, have fun ! A - Age: 505 B - Biggest fear: Bees, to the point where the literal sound of buzzing instantly causes severe anxiety C - Current time: 10:54 AM D - Drink you last had: Uhhh it was some time last night... Watermelon juice or something??? I dont remember, I should drink more  E - Every day starts with: Checking my phone while half asleep F - Favorite song: Shit idk I listen to basically everything. Except country, country can screw itself G - Ghosts, are they real?: Hell yes and you better be nice to then or they’ll fuck you up H- Hometown: I don’t have a military family but I moved around so often I dont really have a hometown, but I was born in Council Bluffs Iowa and have basically spent the last 10 years in north Alabama so J - Jealous of: People who’s skills are better than mine, and people who have already been published K - Killed someone: Nah unless you include fictional but thats not my faaault L - Last time you cried: When I got in a fight with a friend M - Middle name: Jane and i hate it lol N - Number of siblings: NONE HOES suck it, only child ftw I dont gotta share anything  O - One wish: I wanna get publissshhhedd uggghhg. P - Person you last called: Lol the manager of the job I just applied to. Q - Questions you’re always asked: ppl dont ask me anything unless its like my opinion on something, maybe asking to draw something R - Reasons to smile: Memes lol And my cat, my friends, cute shit in movies/tv, games ect S - Song last sang: The Girl Who Sells Misfortune T - Time you woke up: 7 something am U - Underwear color: Black V - Vacation destination: Japan, i wanna go on a fucking shopping trip (actually gonna try in 2020) W - Worst habit: Uhhhhh biting my nails? i dont have many habits that im aware of X - X-rays you’ve had: Um.. teeth xrays, i think i had one on my arm when i fucked that up, and one on my ribs/heart??? idk about that last one Y - Your favorite food: shit idk, sweets  Z - Zodiac sign: Capricorn

taggin these hoes

@ephemeral-cadence  @putt-putt-travelsthrough-my-ass  @ni-hility  @serenade-of-lights  @eeeeeeeh-horses 

idk anyone else so have fun

[writeawayjake]

Ya’ll!!! I somehow wrote two chapters at once?!?!?!???

CHAPTER 20 A pick me up

   Jared sat at the bar once more, while Skye worked on some kind of concoction at a nearby table. He was having trouble remembering the last time he didn’t have a splitting headache.

   All the revelations and struggles of the last few days had left him drained. Physically, emotionally, and who knows what else. Demons, ghosts, bandits, magic, hangovers, it was just too much. How could he do what was needed when he couldn’t even think?

   Skye not explaining what the hell she’d figured out or what she was working on certainly didn’t help relieve any of the stress. All he knew was the brigands would be back and that he couldn’t stop them. Even at his best he could never beat that many and she had made it very clear that the townsfolk weren’t the fighting sort. They’d do little more than get in the way.

   He had been sitting there, wracking his brain trying to come up with some idea or strategy that might save the day but his mind kept drifting to thoughts of Nyah. Of how all he wanted to do right now was bury his face in her orange curls, to hold her and forget the world around them.

   It was yourrrrr faaault… a familiar voice whispered in his ear.

   You didn’t save her…

   His eyes went wide and his skin went cold, how could it be possible. They’d sealed it away. It was beaten. Wasn’t it?

   Closing his eyes he tried to shake it off. It had to simply be his fatigued mind messing with him. A lack of sleep maybe, or food, or mead… The only monster left in the room was him and that was that.

   Taking a deep breath he meant to open his eyes and get back to the matter at hand. Maybe he could find an answer in Skye’s mixings and scribbles.

   With a sigh he asked, “The hell are you working on?”

   “Uuuuuh, let’s call it a pick me up. Gotta get you back in shape.” She replied, not looking up from her bowl and mortar.

   “Skye.” He replied, in no mood for anything vague.

   “I think I figured out what’s been keeping that thing restrained.”

  “Restrained?” He scoffed. “It almost killed us.”

   “Believe me it would’ve been worse without that around.” She said, pointing toward the sword. “Can’t believe I didn’t think of it sooner.  Stupid! That thing’s so holy it literally fucking glows.”

   “Wait you’re saying the sword weakens it?”

   “Jared! It’s literally made to destroy evil.”

   “So the sword can kill it?” He asked, still fairly confused.

   “Maybe.” She replied, not looking up from her work. “If it even can be killed.”

   “You give me a headache.”

   “Yeah well the feeling’s mutual.”

   Pinching the bridge of his nose and letting out a grumbling sigh he informed her,

   “On a different note. Even with a ‘pick me up’ I can’t handle that many on my own.”

   “That’s why ya got me.” She replied matter of factly, still measuring and mixing her ingredients.

   “Skye, I love you and you’re an amazing fighter but even the two of us can’t do it. The last time I fought a crowd that big I only survived 'cause of my armor, aaaaaaaand all the other legionnaires lightened the load a but before they died.”

   And Nyah saved your sorry ass, he thought to himself.

   “We’ll figure something out. In the meantime you should talk to Whick and the Sheriff - see how we can help.”

   “Stubborn ass..” he grumbled, making his way to the door.

   “Love you too!” She replied.

CHAPTER 21 Wraiths

   Screaming, screaming in the mist. All about her darkness and mist. Alone she sat there, huddled and cowering, covering her ears, hoping to block it out. An empty hope. The screams slowly became louder and louder as wraiths began to emerge from the mist. Wearing the faces of her family they shrieked and wailed, reaching out for her. Among them her brothers and father. Tighter she pressed her hand against her ears, slamming her eyes shut trying to wish it all away but the voices kept screaming.

   “NYAAAAH! NYAH HELP US! NYAH! PLEASE!!!” Burning tears filled her eyes as she felt as if her mind were going to break.

   “Please!” She shouted. “Please stop!”

   “NYAH! NYah! Nyah. Nyah?”

   The screams turned to a soft and far more earthly voice. One that was so much softer and warmer. One that made her feel safe. Opening her eyes his face came into focus. Her Legionnaire. His fierce green eyes showing a softness and concern.

   “Are you alright? You were screaming…” She could feel his strong hands gently clasping her shoulders.  

   “Just a bad dream.” She said panting. “Everything’s alright.” A dismissive smile crossing her face.

   Jared’s face showed such worry and concern, she felt awful for scaring him so badly. Placing a hand on his cheek she assured him, “I’m fine. Go back to sleep.”

   His mouth twisted with doubt but nonetheless he placed a soft kiss on her forehead before laying back down beside her. Placing his arm gently around her waist he pulled her close to his chest. He was always so warm.

   Laying her head back down on their pack she lay there, fingers tracing his hand with her fingertips, eyes wide open staring off into the dark. At the smoldering campfire, long extinguished, the dark trees barely lit by the waning moon.

   She was hearing them again. It had been ages, part of her had begun to worry she’d forgotten. Forgotten her family - her brothers. Sometimes she could still smell the smoke, the charred wood and cracked flesh. The worst of it though was the feeling of helplessness. That black pit in her chest that made everything hollow and cold, that paralyzed and destroyed from the inside out - never again would she not know what to do.

   A soft whisper snapped her out of her lamentations,

   “It’s alright. I’m here.” The strong arm wrapped around her waist tightened its grip ever so gently.

   Tears began to well up in her eyes as the dam began to give way. Slamming her eyes shut she tried to force them away, to not let the demons win. Firmly grasping her loving idiot’s hand she tried to control her breath.

   He didn’t say anything, no hollow attempts to console or reassure her, no half hearted promises, nothing but his presence. It was all he had, all she had, all she needed.

@themerrywriter