#its really easy if you find the fanfic of the same name lol

[musingthrough]

New chapter of Prince is up!

Once upon a time this was a voltron au fic written for latte week way back when, but these days it's an original work and I'm pretty happy with how it's coming along~ updates every second friday

[saltsprite]

ALL THE FANFIC ASK MEMES and go in descending order from most recent works with [insert fic]

i dont know why i thought you wouldnt do this to me

@steine-druff & @ckerouac​ yall buckle up too here we go

(from questions for fic writers)

1. What fic of yours would you recommend to someone who had never read any of your work? (In other words, what do you think is the best introduction to your fics?) tame! it’s short, very sweet, kinda domestic, easy peasy

2. Go to your AO3 “Works” page, to the sidebar with all the filters, and click the drop-down arrow for “Additional Tags.” What are your top 3-5 most used tags? Do you think they accurately represent your writing habits? in this order, 1-5: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergent; Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot; Oral Sex; Alternate Universe - Modern Setting; Light Angst. .........yeah it me LOL

3. What are some tropes or details that you think are very characteristic of your fics? well apparently my writing is very Horny lmao but i try to switch it up regularly and explore new things, so i don’t know that i can pin down just one thing! if i really had to, i try to write like a good film that holds the camera on its actors to just let their scenes breathe and their actors act

4. What detail in [tame] are you really proud of? cobb calling grogu ‘sweet pea’ hehe <3

5. What do you wish someone would ask you about [secretary]? Answer it now! Q: is Din a little tsundere there? A: yes >;3

6. What’s one fact about the universe of [pearls before beskar] that you didn’t get a chance to mention in the fic itself? pearls are a bitch to clean ;3

7. Any worldbuilding you’re particularly proud of? i made two OCs to live in Mos Pelgo/Freetown, both completely accidentally named after towns in Texas -- a young woman named Odessa, and a big burly dude (gender-neutral) with a huge beard named Sweetwater

8. What song would make a great fic (to either write or read)? i can’t really think of any! i also don’t usually adapt things 1:1 from anything, so even when i do take inspiration from a song it’s more about the general vibe or expanding on an idea in the lyrics 

9. How do you find new fic to read? i... need to get better at it ;lkdfj;ald

10. How do you decide what to write? first and foremost it has to Vibe hard enough that i can spin off from that initial kernel of an idea

11. Are you partial to a certain character/pairing or are you more equal-opportunity? If you are partial to any character/pairing, why do you think that is? i spend most of my time in DinCobb, but i am deeply fond of BobaCobb. like obviously DinCobb scratches a deep cowboy itch, but with BobaCobb, there’s just such an interesting dynamic of them both having (essentialy) worn Jango’s soul. it’s a profoundly tight thread that binds them together, reinforced by their mutual friendships with Din, that i just cannot get enough of

12. Are there any tropes you used to dislike but have grown on you? “tropes”, more like “kinks” LMAO -- which is to say, that’s for me to know and you to try and figure out while you read my smut

13. Are there any tropes you used to like but don’t anymore? really just depends on who writes it! 

14. Are there any tropes you would only read if written by a trusted friend or writer? YES. anything involving a power dynamic that’s kinda icky irl (like doctor/patient). also f/f version of a m/m ship. also BobaFen. 

15. What’s your favorite AU that you’ve written? that same old song and dance -- the one where Cobb and Din are both young bounty hunters hired on the same job and it goes tits-up when Cobb is accidentally drugged, and they fuck after they save each other and the drugs wear off; and then meet again in canon

16. What’s an AU you would love to read (or have read and loved)? im gonna fucken write a DinCobb Evangelion someday fuckin WATCH ME

17. What highly specific AU do you want to read or write even though you might be the only person to appreciate it? oh i already wrote that LOLLLLL my precious DinCobb Utena AU

18. If you wrote a sequel to [rabbit heart], what would it involve? take that predator trope and suplex it to break its neck by having wolf!Din become Cobb’s homemaker, so that jackalope!Cobb can come home to a happy pup of a man

19. If you wrote a spin-off of [sugar pie, honey bun(ny)], what would it involve? Fennec Shand with her fingers in her ears plotting out how much dick and pussy she’ll need to forget about this

20. If you wrote a prequel to [sweet like strawberry], what would it involve? oooohhh their first meeting, i think

21. If you wrote a “missing scene” in [once bitten, twice shy], what would it be? ch2, Raylan gets his hat back smelling like Ezra and only once he’s home and the door is locked he’s shoving his nose into the sweatband to huff Ezra’s smell and try not to jerk off about it (and fail)

22. Who is your favorite character in [four times lucky] and why? Boba Fett LMAO cheeky bastard <3

23. What’s a trope, AU, or concept you’ve never written, but would like to? lovers to enemies >:]

24. Are there any easter eggs in [take my revolution], and if so, what are they? as im typing out “ah jeez i don’t even use easter eggs” i am reminded that i am a stinky liar, i absolutely put Kaoru Miki and Himemiya Anthy in my Utena AU fic. i was gonna have a scene where Utena herself appears but i could never figure out how to do it gracefully so i gave up on that (because the trick to AUs is actually to change the AU to fit the characters, not to change the characters to fit the AU, so if i can’t do it gracefully then it’s a sign that the idea is shit)

25. What other websites or resources do you use most often when you write? Wookieepedia, thesaurus

26. Would you rather write a fic that had no dialogue or one that was only dialogue? oh fuck these are both good challenges,,,,,,, at this point i’d say “fic that’s only dialogue” for the challenge 

27. How long did it take to write [the ground you walk on]? Describe the process. aka the one with the Boot Stuff. process was to 1) watch Cobb Vanth’s glorious return in TBOBF 2) get horny as fuck 3) whip this out in like a day in a fervent fugue state

28. Does anyone read your fics before you post them? If so, who? hahahahaha i never beta :’)

29. What songs would be (or are) on a playlist for [shrouded]? Explain your choices if you want! beautiful stranger, by halsey; want to be missed, by hayley kiyoko. idk why but the sapphics tap into a level of gay yearning that nears divinity for me

30. Have you ever written something that was out of your comfort zone? If so, what was it, and how did it affect your approach to writing fic thereafter? ohhh definitely my 34k DinCobb Utena AU, so far. it taught me that outlines are what drive your story, if you don’t have an outline to fish-bone off of you’re gonna have a bad time

31. What’s your ideal fic length to write? 4k-ish? max

32. What’s your ideal fic length to read? tbh my upper limit is about 30k these days. not everything needs to be 100k!

33. If you write chaptered fics, what’s your ideal chapter length to write? Is it different from your ideal chapter length to read? this is so subjective based on the overall length of story haha but i usually only do oneshots 

34. What aspects of your writing are inspired by/taken from your real life? any cats named Rusty, parental issues, anything a character does out of Responsibility 

35. What aspects of your writing are completely unlike your real life? first of all they’re fictional space DILFs, my complete and thorough opposite,

36. Do you visualize what you read/write? YES, it’s the second step in the process. step 1, VIBES. step 2, SEE IT. step 3, ATTEMPT TO DESCRIBE

37. Promote one of your own “deep cut” fics (an underrated one, or one that never got as much traction as you think it deserves!). What do you like about it? y’know what? i think i’ll do a couple. 1) waste not -- far as i know im the first to use the Virgin Cobb Vanth tag and you best believe i am smug as shit about that. he’s a lone wolf!! Mos Pelgo isn’t a place for him to live, it’s a place to protect!! 2) that same old song and dance -- it’s mentioned elsewhere in this post but i’ll plug it here again just because it was so much fun to write and i want people to like my dumb children

38. Did any of your fics get surprisingly popular (whatever that means to you)? Which ones? Why do you think they were so successful? salt in the wound, maybe! my first BobaCobb. i remain surprised that BobaCobb is so rare as it is, given the incomprehensibly intricate ways in which canon now binds these two together. but i think i was one of the first(ish) writers to feel like they needed their own fic space, and not just be in the background as leftovers from other pairings

39. Is any aspect of your writing process inspired by other writers or people? If so, who? everyone who mentioned that outlines help them write <3

40. Do you tend to reread fics or are you a one-and-done kind of person? ohhhh i reread. i likes my comforts foods :3 

41. Link a fic that made you think, “Wow, I want to write like that.” that’s what you’re good at, by ghost_teeth like.......... shit, fam.

42. Have you ever received a comment that particularly stood out to you for whatever reason? ohhhhh, yes. a very sweet reader once said they liked my take on Din Djarin so much, they’d want me to write a whole novel of him TT^TT <3

43. If you take/write prompts: what’s your favorite prompt fic that you’ve written? n/a

44. If you take/write prompts: do you prefer dialogue or scenario/narrative prompts? n/a

45. What’s something you’ve improved on since you started writing fic? pacing, i think, and being willing to let go of scenes that might not entirely fit

46. Do you prefer writing on your phone or on a computer (or something else)? Do you think where you write affects the way you write? pc for sure. i can write on my phone, but i prefer a keyboard. feels like the ideas come out faster on keyboard!

47. If [da capo (or: to the beginning)] was a pair of shoes, what kind would it be? Describe the shoes. the shoes you bought for an occasion that you didn’t think you’d like all that much, but are now part of your usual rotation

48. What’s the last fic you read? Do you recommend it? Hallmark Meeting! it’s cute and deliciously smutty

49. What are you currently working on? Share a few lines if you’re up for it! i’m gonna try my hand at some original long fic that i can hopefully shop around!  I don’t think. I kiss him.  Or, rather:  I tumble head-first into the sweet cavern of his mouth. By the flat of his tongue, he tucks me into the space where his top front teeth meets his soft palate and holds me there, safe and secreted. He holds me there, across my cheek, at my waist; he is the bank of my river, guiding me to flow into his lap. A blessing, his hands. Diligent, his kiss.

50. Answer any question of your choice, or talk about anything you want to talk about! there needs to be more anime in Mandalorian fic, and i mean that in ways i cannot fully articulate. like,,,,,,, not anime AUs necessarily but themes and storytelling styles and tropes more common in non-Western media

[rigelmejo]

Its not much but its honest work ToT

Yesterday I read:

1 chapter of hanshe (I’m extensive reading, which is artificially easier than usual since I’ve read this before so even if I ‘forgot’ words, I honestly know them somewhere in my brain so they come back easily when reading)

2 chapters of Granting You a Dreamlike Life (eirenical’s translation reminded me ToT! Honestly if it weren’t for hanshe’s author’s writing being SUPER familiar to me, I think GYADL author actually writes a bit easier to read. The difficult part is the unrecognizable words I Actually have never studied before, unlike hanshe, so I have to put in a bit more effort to figure them out)

1 chapter of Journey to the West Vernacular. Easiest version I’ve ever read of this story, it feels like a graded reader. But has a slight style to it which makes it enjoyable. Easier to read than GYADL, but again hanshe is artificially easiest since somewhere in my brain I have all the words in it stored ToT.

0.5 chapters of ‘Liu Li’. So I had a link to Liu Li, Love and Redemption’s novel. Well. That link was apparently fanfic, I read a few paragraphs and oddly sects were being called businesses...then Ling Long said she got a job... then Sifeng showed up in a western style suit with GLASSES. And I was like yep this is definitely definitely the WRONG story lol. I actually have the print version of Liu Li in my house but its in a box right now ;-;. So yeah... I’ll need to go looking for this novel again lol, somehow I’d saved a fanfic last time I bookmarked it.

Honestly yes, I still just want to extensively read Guardian. But who knows when I’ll get the bravery to try that again. I also tried reading some japanese detective novels translated into Chinese (since that was what was popular in the section of a site i was browsing through). But um... seeing hanzi that represent japanese names just fried my brain way too much and I bailed after 1 paragraph. (Truly: I saw Tokyo written in hanzi in the first sentence, and my brain pronounced it the chinese hanzi way and it just hurt my brain to think about i don’t even know why).

Yesterday and today I listened to:

Final Fantasy VII lets play in japanese, I found a new lets player I like. She cosplays sometimes for them (for IX she dressed as zidane!) I used the closed captions on youtube so I had some japanese subs. It was artificially easier since I’ve played the game in english, so I could guess what words meant what. That said - I think that makes learning from it easier. I think that means if I just relaxed and watched a lets play of a game I’ve played, I’d pick up a lot of words from context that otherwise would be too difficult to learn as quickly. I know whenever I check out Kingdom Hearts cutscenes I can figure out words easy (cause I know that game by heart lol)

Midnight Diner condensed audio (I found a lot of japanese audio lately). I could catch bits and pieces of things said, which I honestly consider a success considering how hard it was to watch IN japanese only last time I tried. I did not follow what was going on, but just catching some bits of dialogue meaning was cool!

Final Fantasy X condensed audio. This is proof that (somehow) I could learn some new words from audio-only resources in japanese, specifically if they’re media I’m already familiar with. I know the scenes and characters SO well I have figured out a few words just now listening as I work. And I can tell what scene I’m hearing fairly easily (music cues and sound effects same as in english, actors have the same ‘vibe’ even though they’re japanese VAs), which makes guessing words easier since I know the topic. And then, I find recognizing words I ALREADY know easier (since I know the scene’s context I can expect them) - which is good review for me and helps improve my listening comprehension. Also I finally really hammered in soshite - and, dakara - because, oyaji - dad/pops, sekai - world, dekimasu - can! (also its so cute Lulu uses ‘anta’ when I’ve only otherwise heard anta used by yakuza in the Yakuza games ToT). Anyway just notes for me personally: I think its really cool to see that I can pick up NEW stuff and make improvements just listening to audio. Because I would have thought that ‘too hard’ to do at my level.

Alice in Wonderland in Japanese, read-listened in DuoReader app. Well. I did 5 pages. It was hard. I read a LOT of hiragana without kanji to help me as a crutch. Japanese and English have such different sentence structure that the english text did not help with comprehending the audio much lol. So I mostly followed the japanese text with the japanese audio. I do feel I learned some stuff. It was brain frying though. Although, I suppose, Listening Reading Method often does make me feel exhausted. Its a very intensive study method. 

Can you tell I’ve been listening to a lot of japanese?? Studying japanese feels so much like I’m jumping in an ocean and going ‘LETS SEE ALRIGHTY’ and then treading water randomly to see if I’ll float or find any islands or drown. But when I use reading resources (because I did jump into trying to read Alice in Wonderland in japanese yesterday with audio), I find myself so reliant on kanji (based on my hanzi knowledge) that it really hinders my ability to pick up new hiragana words. I find this whole past year I’ve been a lot more successful doing mainly audio focus on japanese. But audio focused lessons also mean a lot more unknowns unless I’m using full on english-japanese sentence audio.

[workofheart]

proof

with whatever happens from here, our names will last far beyond our years

for my armin angst anon :) thank you for the request, i honestly love angst and write it all the time outside of fanfic so idk why i don’t do it more often!

pairing: armin arlert x reader

wc: 1.5k

genre: angst, fluff (happy end)

a/n: takes place somewhere just before the events of season 4. also, hi guys! this is lowkey word vomit and i’m a bit out of practice so if this doesn’t seem like me, that’s why lol

they say that time heals all wounds, but in your case, time does nothing but prolong the constant sting in your throat. it denies the sinking acceptance your weary heart pleads for. because as long as you have time, you don’t have to face the truth.

so what if you love him? so what if it’s been years? so what if no matter what you do, you can’t let him go? it’s not like it’s going to change any time soon. but even if it did, even if you had the choice to move on, you’re not so sure you would. he’s the last bloom of the season left that you pick out of selfishness, the butterfly you’re blessed to catch yet hate to let go. 

because if not him, who else?

armin is everything. he’s your reflection and your opposite, late nights and early mornings, kind and then cruel across his commitment to morality. he’s there on good days and bad days, with a smile or sympathy. if you’re lucky, you get both.

he’s brutally imperfect, perfectly human, and so easy to love.

but when standing against the end of humanity, there’s no room for childish fantasies like yours.

you love him so bad it hurts. he’s at the forefront of your mind at all times, even when he’s standing right in front of you. you think of him visiting that girl in the basement, day after day, frozen in her cowardly crystal as she hides from retribution. he waits, staring, and she occupies his mind when you desperately wish it could be you. what is it about a criminal that intrigues him past rationality?

yet the worst thought is that one day, you might not feel so strong. 

it’s something keeping you around. it’s something to imagine on nights when the sun hangs in the sky as low as your hope for the future. he’s something to bet on and pin your fleeting dreams to. however long this feeling lasts, you hang on with all that you can, because waiting at the end is the inevitable sting of loving someone who doesn’t love you back.

it’s a realization you’re not ready to come to yet. for now, a little voice convinces you that there’s a chance. and a chance is enough, isn’t it?

you’re sitting by the docks, feeling the afternoon sun sear your skin, when gentle footsteps knocking on the wood alert you to his presence. when you crane your neck up to see him, he stretches his arms behind his head before sitting down next to you. it’s not surprising, considering armin makes a point to show he cares for all of his friends, but you still wonder if maybe how hard you were thinking about him somehow drew him in. you try to resist the heat burning at the skin of your cheeks fueled by his mere appearance.

“it’s a really nice night, huh?”

he sighs as he lowers his palm to the edge of the wood and throws his legs over, cementing his place beside you. you cling your knees close to your chest while your head rests upon them for support.

“yeah. i didn’t know it could be this pretty.”

tender rays of sunshine brush over his blond hair, making it shimmer like gold. it’s tentative, as if the great light source that keeps your world turning is even too afraid to touch armin arlert.

“me too, but i think i always hoped for it. expected it, at least,” he says with a nod. nostalgia swims in the pond of color in his eyes as he looks out across the water. “but that’s how it is when you’re a kid.”

you want to laugh. when you were a kid, you certainly weren’t concerned with the existence of an ocean beyond the walls. something tells you armin didn’t just expect it out of naivety.

“oh, please,” you say with a roll of your eyes. “you don’t give yourself enough credit. you practically know what’s going to happen before the rest of us have even started thinking about it.”

he lets out a breath of shy laughter through a smile. he’s too modest. “yeah, maybe.”

the blunt edge of your nail scratches at the fresh, amber wood to your side. you press a little more, digging it out like a miniature canyon while silence fills the air. armin opens his mouth and the proximity allows you to hear a rushed intake of air, like courage, filling his lungs before it hitches in his throat. it pauses there, contemplating, before he lets it out in faltered attempt to seem like it went according to plan.

but he swallows and tries again, because armin knows the world will always give him a second chance.

“speaking of… i wanted to talk to you in the first place because, well,” he cedes, rubbing his eyes, “i kind of get the feeling something big is about to happen.”

he chews at the corner of his lip, eyes darting to the side to gauge your reaction.

your head tilts in curiosity. “really? what makes you say that?”

you watch as he fiddles with his fingers in his lap. his nails run along his cuticles, the natural folds in his palms, gathering his thoughts in preparation to set them all out.

his fingers tug through his bangs to soothe his tired roots. “well, it’s been a long time coming. with eren gone, sending notes, arranging plans. it’s coming to its climax, i think. and once it starts, it’s not gonna stop until it’s over.”

bright locks fall in front of his fact when a light gust of wind blows by. his cheeks are smooth and soft with a slight pink tint from the heat of the day, and his lashes are long and wispy, like the wings of an insect. you have to pry your gaze away though your heart pleads you for a second longer spent admiring.

“i really care about you. i just wanted you to know that.”

you’re not sure you hear it right at first. swept away with his image in the hazy evening, you almost miss that he’s talking to you directly. he cares about you. your pulse stutters.

he cares about you.

you blink, swallowing the apparent dryness in your mouth. “i care about you, too.”

after all this time, you should be used to it. the way how he cares will never be the same as how you care, it shouldn’t hurt you, but you still feel your eyes sting and throat tighten. you can’t help it.

you can’t look him in the eye. instead, you avert your attention to the place in the wood you’ve been indenting your nail. the pressure helps distract from the tears gathering along your lashline. it slowly forms the shape of your initial, a diminutive mark on the expansive docks soon to be walked over by thousands.

“is something wrong?”

your immediate reaction is to dismiss. the words are already slipping off your tongue, excuses that it’s the sun in your eyes and denials that you’re just tired, but they get stuck at the end. is it because the opportunity is here? something pushes them away from the edge as they desperately rock themselves back onto the safety of the cliff with flailing arms and wobbly legs. 

hundreds of scenarios rush through your mind, of him getting up and leaving, of awkwardness, of anger and anguish, and yet it’s not enough to derail you. you can’t sit in your itches any longer. if the world is ending soon like he implies, then so be it, because god knows you’d take his word over anything.

“i’m sorry,” you sniffle, voice frail and barely above a whisper. “i just love you.”

you brace for impact, but it doesn’t come. the only sounds are the sawing of your nail, the squawks of distant birds, the waves crashing gently on the shore how they always do at dusk. then his fingers wrap around your wrist, still moving against the wood, to grasp your attention. his eyes are warm and inviting as you slowly lift your head to find them.

“i love you, too.” 

a sad smile tugs at your lips. he doesn’t get it. honesty has never hurt so much. “no,” you confess with a sorrowed tinge, “like i love you.”

his eyes crinkle up like crescents. the grin adorning his cheeks is like a medallion, glowing and bright and entirely juxtaposed from the ache of yours.  “i love you” he presses, eyebrows raising in emphasis. 

“but…”

“but, what? you really doubt it?” he smiles with a breath, eyes crinkling shyly as he looks away. “i thought it was obvious.”

his thumb presses small circles into the back of your palm before letting go and brushing it away from where your hand covers your mark. his nail is much wider and blunt so it doesn’t take long for a faint ‘A’ to appear beside yours, a shade just lighter than the surface.

“if you think you were being obvious, you should have caught on to me earlier,” you laugh.

a coy smile pulls at the corner of his mouth, pressing a dimple into his skin. “maybe i did.”

“you did not.”

“okay, i didn’t. but,��� he pauses, holding up his index finger, “i always hoped!”

it draws an airy, relieved laugh from your chest. armin leans down and blows the dust across the wood and sweeps away the extras with his hands.

your initials sit carved into the docks of your home with love, together. no matter if you are unable to return, they’ll still be here. if no one else is around to remember today, at least these letters will be imprinted with a story.

it’s proof of life, proof you lived, and most notably, proof that it was with armin arlert.

[cj-sparkss]

blue butterfly -

request | Hii! Can I ask for a request, where the reader is childhood friends with eren, mikasa and armin and has been in love with eren for awhile, but she had a feeling that mikasa also had feelings for him, so she kinda ignored her feelings (reader's kinda a nonchalant and calm person so not many people are able to read her emotions?) not knowing that eren also had feelings for the reader. Then somehow Mikasa found out about reader's feelings and had a conversation with eren and *poof* some fluffy confession from eren or something.😅😅Btw i love every single one of your fanfics and I am so glad I found your account. Arigato!!❤

eren’s masterlist:

a/n | this was a great idea! lol i don’t really know what i did here but i hope u like it! warnings | none. category | fluff wc | 3.1k+ pairing | eren jeager & gn!reader

the soft breeze blows away in the background, ruffling the virescent and tattered leaves on the old bark wooded tree. the jays are chirping their famous musical songs from the sky, the golden sun shining upon the grassy field below. 

“hey, look at this!” the golden-haired boy softly nudges your side with his book, bringing your attention back to him. he scoots closer to you, close enough so that you can clearly be able to see the book set in his hands. with a slender finger, he points to a certain image on the page, the paper noticeably old and worn out, slightly a yellowish-brown, the corners of the material curling up and inwards. 

looking down to where his pointer finger is directing to, you see a black and white photograph of a peculiar insect. you tilt your head, as if changing your perspective would help you understand it better.

it’s... a butterfly? but this one is different. the wings almost look like they have fur, the antennas white and black, almost flawlessly painted in stripes, as if manmade. 

“armin, what is this?” you lift your head to look at the boy, a puzzled expression on your face, but also a curious one, eyes pleading for him to tell you more.

armin looks at you with those bright blue orbs, eyes filled with flaming wonder and excitement, painfully happy that you want to know more about what he’s showing you. “well you see, this is the-“

“armin!”

the both of you snap your heads in the direction of the voice. walking across the grassy area are mikasa and eren, eren being the one to call out armin’s name. he’s is waving his hand, a bright toothed smile plastered on his face. mikasa is beside him, a tiny smile on her face as well. 

“hey guys!” armin gleefully waves his hand at the duo, eyes gleaming in the sunlight. mikasa and eren trot closer to the both of you, taking a seat across from you and armin on the grass. eren sits back in front of you, stretching his legs out to the side, extending his arms behind him to hold himself up, while mikasa sits cross-legged in front of armin. 

a soft breeze blows over you guys. eren’s gaze wanders to yours, and he smiles softly at you, turquoise orbs glowing. “hi.” 

you smile back. “hi.” 

“what are you looking at?” mikasa asks, curiously gazing at the thick book in armin’s hands. 

“oh, this!” armin beams, setting the book down on the grass in the middle of the four of you, the page still set on the mysterious butterfly he was showing you earlier. once again, he points to the image on the page, circling it. “i was going through it earlier, and i stumbled across this page. it’s a butterfly.” 

“it looks interesting.” eren points out, tilting his head to the side. you and mikasa nod your heads in agreement. 

“well, that’s because it is.” armin looks up, eyes glancing over each of your faces before pointing directly at the butterfly.

“you see, it’s called palos verdes blue.” he positions his pointer finger on the wings. “it’s wings are fuzzy, they look brown when they flutter closed. but when they are open, it’s a mesmerizing shade of blue, almost silver. it’s one of the rarest butterflies in the world. unique” 

“wow”, you mumble under your breath. besides the photo not being in color, you can see its beauty simply through the page.

you’ve always been a sucker for armin’s new findings, you find them almost as fascinating as he does. 

“it’s beautiful.” mikasa says. 

“it is.” eren seconds. 

you all sit in silence, admiring the picture, and simply just the world around you.

you glance over at eren, who is now looking up into the sky. his eyes are lost in deep thought, brows furrowed together, plush pink lips slightly parted.

you look at the way the breeze slightly blows his brown hair, length ending slightly below his jawline. you look at the way his emerald orbs shine brightly in the sunlight, and how his eyes seem to remind you of the butterfly armin has described. they're both beautiful. 

and you once again come to a realization, one that you have come to many times before. you’re in love with eren. and every day since you were children, you seem to fall even deeper. 

you turn your head, and then what you see makes your stomach sickeningly churn. mikasa is also staring at him. and the look in her eyes — you get the same one too — you think it’s more than just a look of fondness. 

you have gotten this feeling before. when you see eren and mikasa a little too close together, when you see the stolen glances from across the room that no one else noticed, you can’t help but feel… jealous? 

is that it? maybe. probably. but you’ve never shown it. at least, you thought you did.

but over time, armin has seemed to notice. he noticed when you stared at eren for a little while longer than you should have, noticed how you always seemed to stumble over your words when he got too close, despite the years of friendship. noticed how you cared about him, in a way different from how normal “best friends” would care about him. 

and yes. you have thought about confessing. many, many times in fact. but anytime that you would get the stomach to confess, you looked to the side, and mikasa was there. right next to him. always. 

you don’t blame her. if you could, you would get close to eren as much as you could too. you just wish you were in her position, taking care of him when he got hurt, the one to fuss over him whenever something bad happened. 

you’re pretty sure she loves eren too, maybe even more than you do.

so you decided to ignore your feelings. ignore the way your stomach seems to twist and turn whenever he gets a little too close to you, ignore the way your heart sped up when you two happened to touch for a few moments. ignore the way you longed to kiss his lips every time he spoke.

you assumed it was just for the best. 

but mikasa on the other hand, seemed to notice the way eren would be staring at you when he thought you weren’t looking. she noticed the way he always seemed to end up next to you, trying to get as close to you as he could. the way his head always seemed to shoot up when your name was mentioned in a conversation, and the way he had a light blush on his face whenever you gave him one of your bright smiles. 

she noticed the way he always seemed to be happier around you, even if it was just the subtle hints. the brighter smile on his face when you were around him, the chirpier moods when he knew he was going to see you soon.

she also saw you, the way you endlessly pined after him, subtle but not. mikasa saw it all. 

and when she saw this, she was happy.

you weren’t wrong, she does love eren. but not in the particular way you think, she loved him like family. and as his family, and yours as well, mikasa wanted nothing more for you guys to be happy, together. 

and so a plan was formed. 

“hey armin, could i talk to you for a moment?” mikasa asks, motioning her head behind her while placing her hands against the ground to push herself up.

armin looks up from the bug he was admiring on the ground, nodding his head. “oh, uh, sure.” he pulls himself up, following after her. 

you furrow your eyebrows. that seemed a little secretive, calling only him out like that. 

“we’ll be right back.” mikasa says, walking away to the distance, armin trailing close behind her.

you wonder what they’re doing, but you're snapped out of your thoughts when you hear shuffling beside you, and then a body plops down on the grass next to you, taking armin’s previous spot. 

“hey.” 

“oh, hi eren.” 

he smiles softly at you, scooting a little closer to your body. gently, he rests his head on your shoulder, leaning into your neck. “how was your day?”

you stiffen at the sudden contact. the touches, the considerate words, it hurts to be so close to him, yet he so far.

sighing, you relax again, looking down at eren and reaching to brush’s a strand of hair out of his face. “it was okay, how was yours?”

“good, now that you’re here.”

you smile. always the charmer.

he continues, “what do you think they’re talking about?” 

you shrug your shoulders, eyes landing on their standing figures in the distance. “don’t know.”

“armin, we have to get them together already.” mikasa says, fidgeting with the red scarf laced around her neck.

“that’s what you wanted to talk about?” armin asks, tilting his head to the side with a quizzical look on his face. “i don’t really think we should get involved with that…” he trails off, blue eyes looking to the side.

“we have to”, she asserts. “this has been dragging on for too long. i’m tired of seeing eren mope around when they're not around.”

armin rubs the back of his neck, looking at mikasa with a hesitant gaze. “but, if we did, how would we even get them together?” 

“tonight.” she takes a step closer, placing one of her hands on his shoulder. “i have a plan.” 

armin raises an eyebrow. “a plan?” 

mikasa nods. “all i need is for you to tell them to go to the beach a little after sunset, when the moon’s out.” she gives him a pointed look, stepping to the side. “can you do that?” 

he sighs. “what exactly are you planning?” 

“i’m going to get eren to confess.”

“how?” 

“easy. i’m going to convince him until he complies.” 

she’s being awfully brief, and armin doesn't know if he should ask more information on this so-called ‘plan’, or just do what she says. 

he thinks. he wants the both of you to get together, to be happy. it’s about damn time in fact. so, if mikasa has a plan, it’s probably a good one. 

he takes a breath.

“i’ll do it.” 

“you’re going to confess. tonight.” 

“what do you mean i’m going to confess? what are you even talking about?” eren takes a step back, a light blush dusted across his cheeks. 

it’s almost dark out, the sun just about setting. eren and mikasa are by the same tree the four of you were at earlier. 

“you’re going to tell them your true feelings. you have to.” she sighs, closing the distance between her and eren once again. 

eren knows what she’s talking about. 

he shakes his head, a frown on his face. “i don’t think now is the time to confess. i should wait until-“

“no. if you don’t tell them now, i’m going to tell them for you.” 

eren panics, eyes widening in fear. “wha- mikasa, you can't do that!” 

“watch me.” her voice is strong, not faltering, not a single trace of a joke within. she’s being serious. 

he sighs, “but… what if they don’t feel the same way? we’ve been best friends for years, and this might ruin everythi-“

“eren.” mikasa places her arms on his shoulders, looking him straight in the eye. “you shouldn’t be worrying about that. here… we never know when our last breath is going to be. don’t waste your time on the what if’s. just do it.” 

he looks back at her, registering her words in his brain. she’s right. he can’t waste more time. he shouldn’t. he loves you now. 

“how should i do it?”

“just say what you're truly feeling. as long as you can do that, you’re fine.”

eren takes a breath, softly placing his hands on her wrists, removing her hands from his shoulders. “when?” 

“when it’s dark out, at the beach. they’ll be there.” she gives him a small smile. that was easier than she thought. “good luck.”

you’re walking through the beach, feet touching the fine-grained sand. you gaze around, admiring the cerulean waves splashing quietly in the distance, the moon glowing from above in the sky. your mind wanders, and you wonder why armin had told you to come here tonight. he was being vague, and you don’t know what’s going on. 

stopping right in front of the water, you admire its beauty. the way the moon lights up the area, providing a dim source of light. how the stars are spread across the dark dome, white specs shining from above. you think back to the butterfly that armin was talking about. “palos verdes blue…” 

eren approaches the beach, and there you are, right in front of him. your back is turned to him, your front side facing the water. you seem to be heavily focused on the water, lost deep inside your own head. 

he takes a deep breath, his nerves beginning to rack over him. he thinks back to the years you both have spent together.

he doesn't recall any memories of you hinting that you might love him as more than just family. and if you did, he didn’t catch it. 

he sure does hope like hell though, that you might love him back. even if it’s just in the slightest. 

mustering up his remaining courage, he begins to walk over to you. 

you fail to hear the footsteps approaching you, still stuck in your thoughts. you don’t notice anything until eren is right next to you, standing tall as the wind blows his hair. 

“hey.” 

you turn to look at him, his gaze already set on you. 

you’re confused. why did armin tell you to come here tonight? and why is eren here? 

“hi eren.” you greet, a little skeptical. you turn so that you’re now facing him.

silently, you stare at his features, secretly admiring him. you look into his bright and bold turquoise eyes, still intense as ever. maybe even more this particular night. the dim moonlight is highlighting his skin, his soft brown hair shining.

you desperately fought the urge to reach out your hand and put them in his hair, to tangle your fingers in his locks, as you’ve always wanted to do.

eren stared back at you through thick eyelashes, heart hammering in his chest, he’s almost sure you could hear it.

he’s scared. scared that you might not feel the same way. scared to see your reaction to what is about to be his confession. but mikasa was right, he has to do it now. 

at this point, he’s certain his heart is going to beat out of his chest, but he has to take the chance.

you smile, tilting your head in confusion. “eren? what are you doing he-”

“i’m in love with you.” 

eren interrupts you in the middle of your sentence, greatly surprising you. you did a double-take.

did you hear that correctly? did he say that he’s in love with you? your brain is on fire, trying to decide if you heard those last words right.

“... what?”

he takes a step closer to you, closing most of the space between your bodies. he studies your facial expressions carefully, trying to decipher your reaction. 

“i’m in love with you. i have been for a while.” he pauses, taking another breath, emerald orbs never leaving your face. “since we were children, i’ve always admired you. how you’re always there for everyone, how you never hesitate to help someone, even if you need help yourself.”

you aren’t even aware that you left your mouth wide open, and eren takes your silence as a cue to continue on. 

‘just say what you’re truly feeling’ mikasa’s words ring around in his head. here goes nothing.

“your beautiful. so damn beautiful. amazing, kind. funny, smart. you have always been there for me, since i could remember. you never left my side. and you don’t know how happy i am to have you stand by me. you make me so happy. everyday. you make me smile, you make me laugh, you make me feel good about myself. you’re all i ever think about.”

wow. you don’t know what to feel.

all this time, you’ve been thinking that eren didn’t love you in the way you loved him. but he did.

“but, what about mikasa? is there really nothing going on between you two?” you look down, staring at your feet. 

“look at me.” eren steps closer to you, placing his hand underneath your chin, gently bringing your face up to look at his. “remember the butterfly armin was talking about?” 

you nod your head. 

“well, it reminds me of you. unique...”, he lowers his head.

“special…” his voice is down to a quiet whisper now, only to be heard by your ears. he brings his head down, the tip of his nose coming in contact with yours while his gaze moves down to your lips for a brief moment, before returning to your eyes. he’s so close to you now, his body heat radiating off of him, surrounding you in warmth. he continues. “beautiful…” 

his hot breath fans over your lips, as you look up at him with wide eyes, lips parted in anticipation. eren places one large hand on the side of your face, cupping your cheek. “can i?” he asks quietly. 

still unable to form any coherent words, you give a small nod, and eren takes notice of the action. 

without wasting a second, his plush lips connect to yours. his lips are sweet against yours, tasting and savoring every touch. after the initial shock wears off, you melt into the kiss, fluttering your eyes closed. he tilts his head to the side, deepening it. 

after years of just imagining what your lips taste like, eren finally got to feel them against his form himself.

happy, he smiles into the kiss, wrapping his arms around your waist, pulling your body flush against his.

this is nice. 

after a few moments, you pull away to catch your breath, chest slightly rising up and down.

eren’s thankful that it’s dark out, or else you would have been able to see the intense blush on his cheeks.

he rests his forehead against yours, a lazy smile plasters on his face. “nothing is going on between mikasa and i.” he places a soft kiss on your lips once more. “i love you. always have, always will.” 

beaming, you tackle eren in an eager hug, resting your head against his chest. you can feel his heartbeat, beating erratically against your face.

the only thing you can hear is the faint splashes in the background, water bumping against the shore. 

“i’m in love with you too, eren.” 

and in that moment, it’s only the two of you against the world. 

“do you think it worked?” armin asks mikasa, bright blue eyes looking at her with wonder. 

mikasa nods, a small smile planted on her face. 

“i know it did.” 

[ultimatebethylficlist]

Veteran Author of The Month: June 2021

The featured veteran author for June is also a co-admin right here at UBFL: SquishyCool (or @im-immortal )!

SquishyCool can be found on AO3 and FFN under the same penname.

When asked what got her into Bethyl and what the fandom means to her, she said:

I’ve been a hardcore TWD fan since the show began airing, but that’s because of my love for zombies. In all honesty, I didn’t really ship anyone for the first 3-4 seasons. I kind of shipped Daryl with Carol, but then it became clear that it was a platonic relationship and in all honesty, I just wanted to see them both get some action lmao. Then the prison fell... and in those first moments of “Still,” when we see Beth and Daryl running and running and finally collapsing on the ground, breathless and exhausted... the butterflies started. Something clicked and I immediately thought, “uh oh.” The rest is history, especially considering how “Still” and “Alone” played out. I can’t explain how or why I’m still so heavily invested, especially considering my last 2 fandoms only kept my attention for about 2-3 years each, but here I am. And I love it! I am so incredibly grateful for the Bethyl fandom because not only has it helped me improve my writing so much more than I ever could have imagined, but it has also introduced me to some of the most amazing people, including someone who I now consider one of my very best friends! It’s my happy place :)

For her personal fic rec list, she recommends:

In The Maw by ronsparkyspeirs

Way Down We Go by LeathernLaces

Surfacing by lindentree

Wild Things (The Moonshine Poet) by Abelina

The Gift by Feliz

The Man Who Can't Be Moved by burningupasun

New Experiences Series by wallflow3r

Whisper Softly to Me by taylorcatherine

Interstice by leftmywingshome

To Love Like a Man by Seraphique

Death, Death (i defy thee) by alamorn

In My Blood by Courtneyshortney82

Let the Good Times Roll by gutsforgarters

Resolved by Allatariel

the weight of these wings by peachthorns

all my spaces are filled with you by annabeth_writes

A Little Jailbreak with the Little Jailbait by wandering_gypsy_feet

between the beginning and the end by sheriffandsteel

SquishyCool’s Works & Personal Thoughts:

Dirty Fingernails and Dried Blood Summary: What happened during the months between "Still" and "Alone"? Beth uses the last pages of her diary to write down every detail of surviving with Daryl. Thoughts: My first Bethyl fanfic. It holds a special place in my heart for that reason, though it is pretty rough. If I could go back, I never would’ve done it entirely in first-person. But I do plan to finish it one day. There are some scenes I’m particularly proud of, and I still have a long note full of ideas and plot points.

Most Wanted Summary: After Beth’s mother and half-brother are murdered in a drug war, the godly veil on the Greene Family operation is lifted, and law enforcement comes down hard. In an effort to protect her family, Beth commits a heinous crime that could mean life in prison alongside them. Now everyone she’s ever trusted is in police custody and her only chance at freedom is to get as far away from Atlanta as she can... Thoughts: Well, this is a must-read if you like my writing. I hope to one day convert this into an original fiction and maybe get it published, but I need to finish it first LOL. I got the idea from ONE scene of “Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt,” and from there, it exploded into a huge mystery thriller (with lots of romance and smut). I’m really really proud of it, and I’m scared I’ll fuck it up tbh, so I keep putting off continuing it. But I really need to get back to it because I really want people to see what I have planned! (Also, this fic is the reason @courtneyshortney82​ started talking to me, so that alone is pretty historic lmao)

The Crow’s Song Summary: Beth and Daryl spend a few more days together in the funeral home and come to terms with all they've lost along the way. But soon, they must decide what comes next. Thoughts: This fic... this fucking fic. It took me a full year to write. I made numerous edits. I even got a little depressed while I was writing the last two chapters, and my bf didn’t know why until he read what I’d been writing lol. It’s honestly the Bethyl fic I’ve always wanted to write but just didn’t know how. I’m still really really proud of how it turned out.

Carnival Games Summary: Daryl is a traveling carnival worker and Beth is a barely legal farmer's daughter looking for a night of fun when the carnival comes to town. Thoughts: Omg this fic is so fun!! One of my first Bethyl fics, and one of my first Bethyl smut fics. Short, sweet, a little funny, and a lot hot. I am still impressed with myself on this one, especially considering how much my writing has improved since lol

Breathe. Please. Summary: Beth shows up at the Hilltop. Alive. Daryl can hardly believe his eyes. Until she's lying in his bed, an arm's reach away. And he can hear her inhaling... exhaling... inhaling... Thoughts: Another “fix-it” that I’m proud of. Tbh I didn’t think it was anything all that special, but a lot of readers have said it’s one of their favorites, and some say they reread it regularly, and nothing makes me happier than hearing that, so I am extremely proud.

picking @ scabs Summary: Sometimes, no matter how much you love someone, being with them just isn't right. But what wouldn't you give for it to be right? Can someone like Daryl learn how to swallow his pride and stop repeating the same mistakes over and over? Can someone like Beth learn to fight off her demons and allow him to get close enough to hurt her again? How can they stay away from each other when it's all too easy to fall back into one another? Picking a scab will leave a scar, but they both have so many scars already... what's a few more? Thoughts: This fic is very, very personal for me. It’s like my “therapy” fic. I have poured some of my deepest feelings and struggles into its chapters, and the whole idea that got me to start it was that I wanted to find a way to navigate and cope with ending my 3-year long relationship with my emotionally/mentally/sometimes physically abusive ex. I still have a lot of fond memories from that relationship, but even more so, I have painful memories. Not to mention, going through your early 20s as a woman in the modern day is a fuckin’ trip, so this kind of explores that. It’s really self-indulgent, I think, but I’m really proud of the smut in it. And more than that, I’m proud of the response. I’ve had a few people message me or comment to say that they’ve felt all those things, or have experienced similar things, and it’s really just... relieving. I put my heart and soul out there, and what I got back was “you’re not alone.” So yeah, this fic is special. I wanna finish it soon, but I have to be in A Mood to do so. 

In Toto Corde Summary: Despite a million reasons not to, Beth and Daryl fell in love. Then he made the ultimate sacrifice in order to keep all of his promises. Now, facing unimaginable consequences at the hands of witch hunters, Beth has no choice but to use her powers to bring Daryl back from the dead. "He won't be the same..." Thoughts: I LOVE THIS FIC. I love it so much that I had to rewrite it after like 4 or 5 years. And I already started on a sequel that I really hope I’m able to finish. Though it doesn’t have many hits, and I don’t think many people have read it at all, which I understand since it basically is entirely focused around Daryl being killed. But damn, I’m proud of this one, and it was really fucking fun to write because witch!Beth is just... the best.

risk it all (part 1 of in for a penny, in for a pound) Summary: Daryl Dixon has a pretty decent life, all things considered. He's got his own place. A good dog. A few friends. Even a girlfriend. He keeps himself out of trouble. Until he starts texting Beth Greene. And hell, if he ain't about to risk it all for this damn girl. Thoughts: This was supposed to be one short multichapter fic focused entirely on smut and social media. Then I got on a roll and it ended up being the beginning of a series! This fic is purely fun. Nothing too serious or heavy. I write it when I’m in a Good Mood because it’s my little happy place. I have plans for about 4 more fics before the series will be finished!

Don’t Make Me Haunt You Summary: So here's the thing: Merle Dixon is dead as fuck. And as it turns out, Beth Greene is the only one who can see or hear him. Which is weird considering she's never met or even heard of this guy, let alone anyone with the last name Dixon. That's her first problem... Thoughts: The reception to this fic has absolutely blown me away. I had no idea anyone would want to read about ghost!Merle haunting Beth and forcing her to solve his murder with the help of his grumpy brother. And it was all inspired by an episode of South Park lmao then I started really getting into it and now it’s just like, my super fun fic where I explore a range of emotions and all kinds of religious beliefs and different mythologies and I can build the world however I want and goddamn I just love writing this fic. Plus there’s a podfic for it! I can’t even begin to explain how much I love this fic and how proud I am of it :)

[bbnibini]

Hi! I really love your works but it gotten me curious if you also read fanfics? Do you have any fanfic recommendations?

Thank you, anon! That's really kind of you. 🥺💕 I do read fanfics, but not as much anymore. I'm assuming this ask is for Obey Me fics? But if not, I will include some of my absolute favourites in a future post. Fair warning: I gushed. A LOT hahaha. Please support the authors and their works! I included the fics in the hyperlinks~

NSFW fics are marked appropriately, so please click the links at your own discretion (some of them are in my public bookmarks in AO3).

Elle's Obey Me Fic Recommendations

🌸Your Coal by Angrish(LettuceBean)

Truth be told, I belong to the "forgive but don't forget camp" in lieu of what happened in Chapter 16; reading Angrish's YC and how their MC coped with the aftermath(+ how others coped along with them) felt really powerful, raw and so so emotional. It made me think and really think about how I processed the whole thing that happened. While it didn't really change my outlook on how I have forgiven Belphie for what he had done, Angrish shedding light to the unanswered questions and lingering doubts the main story have left most of its readers was done in such a thoughtful and poetic way that I found myself binge reading the whole thing.

Given that I read this whole coping with a lot of stuff as well (and may have contributed with sympathising a lot more to the vindictiveness of the MC), reading what Angrish had written was really cathartic. Their writing style is also beautiful--the way the words string together, simple, elegant, yet impactful really made MC's emotions a lot...tangible, real and sometimes, frustrating (in a good way, mind you). I also liked how they had fleshed out the other characters, especially Belphegor, Satan and the Purgatory Hall members.

🌸You'll Have to Ask Your Dad by DefenestrationProtestration

I remembered clicking on this fic because of the author's punny name, stayed for the pretty writing and reread a few several times for the characterisation and THE WRITING. I'm pretty sure I left a litany of praises and incomprehensible gushing on the comments section because of how much I've devoured this piece of art.

Even as I'm typing this review, I can't seem to organise my thoughts haha. You can tell by the writing style that the author had a lot of fun writing their prose; it permeates through the screeen...my "screen" of imagination at least. I am not joking--the writing is so pretty and vivid that I literally saw it as a movie in my head lol. I chatted with them a bit on the comments and they said the prose is more of something they had written subconsciously; it reminded me of James Joyce and how he had masterfully perfected the same technique. Of course, their writing styles differ a lot from each other, but I can see what they meant.

...as I'm typing this, I didn't realise how I haven't talked about the plot of the fic at all soz. This piece is the author's character study of Lucifer. It talks about how he was before, during and after the fall. He is a bit of an unreliable narrator, which I'm not sure if the author intended, but he has all these presumptions that miss the mark so so much, particularly at how his brothers, Lord Diavolo and the others perceive him--but reading the whole thing would make you understand why he had gotten to that kind of self-perception in the first place. And honestly? It really, really hurt to read. But was it bad? The total opposite of that, in fact! I loved how they had written the angst in this piece. So many things in the fic are "show, rather than tell" and I really really appreciate that.

Most of my brainrot about this fic is better to be explored on your own. Overall, 10/10: a definite, recommended read.

🌸Fairy Tales for the Fallen by indiavolowetrust

I haven't fully devoured all of the stories in the collection yet, but the ones I've read (Her Name Was Thousand Eyes is my favourite) was such a really good spin on dark fairy tales (Obey Me style!). It reminded me of my childhood Little Mermaid picture book for some reason. Probably the writing style(the author's writing reads a lot like a storybook) The one I had was Hans Christian Andersen's (aka the OG) version and the ending was rather...dark for a 5 year old lol. It was a big part of my life though and was probably the precursor for my affinity with sad stories haha.

🌸TieGuanYin by Taciturn

Like tea on a tiring day, Taciturn's writing style feels very homey, cozy and familiar. I love rereading this oneshot when I'm having a shitty day and imagining myself having tea with Barbatos haha. Ever had pieces of art or literature that just...relaxes you when you consume it? This one is one of my, as the youngsters say, "comfort fic" haha.

🌸glass half empty; glass half full by unagis

I love unagis' fics.♡ I also love her Childe fics. The concepts she comes up with, as well as how she delivers it is *chef kiss*. Admittedly, I read this one when I was still a Satan stan, with all the suspicions and doubts about Solomon's intentions still rampant within me. Reading him blush and become flustered is CUTE and aaaaa this whole fic is just really cute.🥺♡

🌸The Eternal Storm by @sondepoch

Sondepoch's Satan oneshot was the very first fic I read in the OM fandom so it has a special place in my heart~ I remembered how awkward it was to skim through the Satan filters, looking for a gen fic/SFW fic because around that time, most OM fics are smut (no shade on smut ofc, I'm just super uncomfortable reading them unless the writing is really pretty or there's something else going on in the story). Finding GEN AND A WELL-WRITTEN CHARACTER STUDY about my (former) favourite OM character was like I hit the jackpot. I remembered that feeling really well haha. My bias with one of my favourite forms of fic (char. study) aside, Sondepoch's writing is easy on the eyes and is definitely a great entry for anyone who wants to be in the OM fandom.

🌸Read Me by GENE515

One of my more recent reads and definitely worth a mention!♡ Read Me was a beautifully written, heartfelt two-shot about Lucifer's love, which he tried his best to express in penned words. Probably because of my own love letter-themed OM series, this one really stuck to me haha. The author is also really sweet. :3

🌸Schrodinger by fickleminder

I read this one around Halloween and it definitely fit the occasion. Schrodinger was such a great thriller/horror fic with how it set its unsettling atmosphere from the very beginning--the way fickleminder's writing just sucks you in and makes you bystand the whole ordeal between Belphegor and MC was just...so suspenseful? Nail biting? Creepy (in a good way ofc)? I won't spoil the ending, but the process and way they tackled it was a lot scarier than what I was initially bracing myself for.

🌸Siberia by @polandspringz

Seeing another Obey Me mystery in AO3 really hyped me up! Polandspringz did a spectacular job in writing this series and I can relate so much with their experiences in writing for mystery. Their writing style is easy on the eyes--I also really liked how they characterised the OM characters I have read on their series so far. There's still quite a lot of stuff left in speculation (from my most recent reading at least), and I really look forward to see how everything unfolds!

🌸Tetris Syndrome by apocketfulofposies (NSFW)

I am very very uncomfortable with smut content, so the smut I've read can be counted on one hand. ;; That is to say, TS is one of the few smut that I really, really enjoyed. First of all, Levi's characterisation is on point. It was really really interesting to get in his head and read about his thought process. What is envy? And how much does the sin of envy really define him?

I really enjoyed Levi's internalisations, as well as the author's writing style. If you want smut with a brooding, jealous otaku boy, I really recommend this one!

[sintreaties]

I'm a writer on AO3. I'm good, and I know it, but people don't click Kudo or leave any comments. It made me feel like there was no point in sharing a story no one wants to read.

I understand where this is coming from, but also, I don’t think it’s that easy. It’s true that most people tend to forget about Kudos or don’t care to leave them, idem with comments, and let’s be honest, not everyone is a chatter-box so I can forgive that a bit more. And people’s tastes are hard to predict too! Most of the time it’s just a question of luck in choosing the prompt. I’d like to say that technical skill also has its weight, but seeing how a lot of the works on the main KKG page by Kudos on Ao3 are group chat fics, we both know I’d be lying.

As I only either write for myself or for people that specifically request what I’m writing, I don’t really tend to be frustrated by it. I never wrote for the fandom, nor I ever will because I know that would be a disappointment for both myself and others.

Of course I know that even if I tell you to change your mentality it won’t be that easy. Telling you “it’s just fanfics, it’s not that serious” won’t work either. These are the pieces of advice I can give you after three years in the fandom:

1) observe what the larger portion of the fandom likes in terms of genre. In KKG’s case, it’s often smut, fluff and comedy (not necessarily in this order), with some exceptions for angsty fics like In Bloom (but In Bloom heavily relies on technical ability and on a very experienced creator who’s been writing for more than ten years , so keep that in mind when comparing yourself to others).

Do the same with characters. KiraSaya has the most works in Ao3, followed by Meariri. If you choose a rairpair (like I did) and an odd genre (like I did) to reach the top it will take you twenty chapter (like I did with Of Thorns and Petals, which took two years to gain the main KKG page on Ao3. It still means nothing to me, because I just really liked the story and the challenge, but keep it in consideration). Don’t forget to tag things properly either. It’s necessary for others’ comfort sometimes but also to make it easier for them to find your works if it suits their tastes.

2) interact with the community. Reach out to some creators you like, interact with their works, ask them to collaborate, join a server and let others know you by writing random short prompt for them (of course, be safe when you interact with people you don’t know). This is the hard route to be honest, but although nothing can assure your success, there’s a very high chance you’ll meet wonderful people that share your same passions and struggles and that will add to the fun of creating much more than the occasional boost of serotonin given by random Kudos.

3) I can’t stress this enough, but write what makes you happy. I know this sounds like a pradox after all the rest, but really! Creating is about passion and self-expression. People can see it and in some cases they can fully appreciate it! If you don’t put yourself first you’ll quickly get burn-out, and I assure you, neither you nor your possible readers will want to read a half-cooked fic in your head when you’re too bitter and tired to consider writing at all.

4) this will probably sound very harsh now. When I first became “popular” in the fandom with fics like A Hotel Room I also thought I was good. It took me very little to realize how wrong I was.

Reading the works of someone more experienced and more educated made me realize that my writing was lacking and in no little measure! Little by little I started to correct some of those mistakes and although now I certainly improved I know for a fact that I’m still no New York Times Bestseller writer. That’s completely all right. How am I supposed to improve if I just sit on my (very small, very relative) success?

Writing takes skills, no more and no less than painting. Talent and predisposition are important, but so is practice. Be humble enough to doubt your own skills and to ask others to beta-read for you, asking for corrections and learning from what they tell you (choose people you trust of course). That is how you become good in terms of execution, along with learning as much as you can from others’ works.

5) last but not least, don’t let others and the lack of immediate results demotivate you. You can’t compare yourself to others, most importantly if you don’t even know them. Not everyone is born to be the most talented writer right off the bat. Not every work can be appreciated by the multitude. Luck, practice and passion will help you with all of this, but in the end, you are you and not everyone will agree with what you have to say. It’s okay. As long as you’re satisfied with what you created, that should be already a success for you, no matter how small it is.

That’s all I can give you lol. I hope it helped — if not you, at least whoever needed to be told this sort of things. I know that fandoms and fancreations have become a big part of life for some during quarantine, but don’t stress over it too much.

Feel free to share your Ao3 name and some of your works if you don’t feel too shy, even in DMs. I can’t promise I’ll read them because I rarely have time to read fanfics these days, but maybe I can send someone your way ;)

[piracytheorist]

Fanfic Self Promo: KnightRook

I decided to make a few self-promo posts on my older fics, starting with the ones centered on KnightRook! All are short one shots or drabbles, but they’re worth a little promo after all this time. They’re in a list of older ones first.

~

Missing Knight | T, 2.4k words, written 16 Oct 2017 | AO3 link | Tumblr link Summary: Speculative fic about Detective Rogers meeting the girl who, unbeknownst to him, is his own daughter.

I wrote this a little after 7x02 aired, before we knew anything more about Killian’s daughter. I was completely off with it, but I’m still quite happy with it.

~

A Young Tempest | G, 1.3k words, written 20 Oct 2017 | AO3 link | Tumblr link Summary: Killian Jones raises his daughter and learns things along with her. 

Another speculative fic about Killian’s history with his daughter. Once again, completely off, but it’s one of my favourite stuff I’ve written.

~

A Song for Goodnight | G, 1.8k words, written 28 Nov 2017 | AO3 link | Tumblr link Summary: Alice Jones I sings a lullaby to her son. A long time later, Killian Jones sings the same lullaby to his daughter. Warnings: Canon character death in the past.

I have feels about Killian singing his mother’s lullaby to his daughter. Some of these made it into this fic.

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Untitled ficlet of Killian thinking about the white elephant he gave Ella | Tumblr link

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A Family by Choice | G, 3.3k words, written 04 Feb 2018 | AO3 link | Tumblr link Summary: The curse is broken, everyone’s memories are back, and Roni with Weaver find a way to remove the poison from Rogers’ heart. But it’s not easy nor perfectly safe, and it might just as well pull that family apart again rather than bring it back together. 

This one is a little sad, as usual with me. But again, lots of feels.

~

The First Rain | G, 590 words, written 25 Mar 2018 | AO3 link | Tumblr link Summary: Alice is finally free and gets to explore how being under the rain feels.

This one includes only Alice, but it’s got a lot of focus on KnightRook. (If you thought you’d find happy stuff on my fic, you thought wrong. KnightRook was brimming with angst and I milked the hecc out of it)

~

Mother’s Day | G, 650 words, written 14 May 2018 | AO3 link | Tumblr link Summary: Modern AU. Alice makes something for her papa for Mother's Day.

I felt that Killian deserved a little more love and appreciation for raising such a kind human as Alice all on his own. Father’s day doesn’t get as much appreciation as Mother’s day, especially considering it’s usually after school starts summer break. So I felt that in a modern setting, Alice would choose to celebrate her father and their love for each other on Mother's Day at some point.

~

Poor Old Man | G, 530 words, written 12 Mar 2018 | AO3 link | Tumblr link Summary: While in the tower, Killian realizes he's growing old. But not alone. 

There’s a sea shanty with the same name, but only the title has a reference to the story. I just thought that it would be interesting to see Killian, who’d spent his centuries in Neverland not expecting to survive his revenge mission, realize that he’s not only actually growing old, but that he’s also got someone to love and love him back as he does.

~

Sad drabble of “What if Killian hadn’t managed to save Alice from being pulled into her worst nightmare in the finale?” Like, really sad. | Tumblr link

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Sad Old Hook drabble in direct response to the fic above, because he did end up old and alone. Be sad with me, people. | Tumblr link

~

Marks | T, 1k words, written 15 June 2018 | AO3 link | Tumblr link Summary: Little Alice wonders why she doesn’t have any marks on her back, like her papa does. Warnings: Mentions of past physical abuse of a teenager

If you know me, you know I headcanon Killian having multiple scars on his body, many particularly from the time he was a indentured servant as a kid/teen. Being the only one who Alice sees in her first years, she thinks that she’ll grow to have such marks on her body. This is a bit of a melancholic take on Killian trying to explain it to her.

~

Untitled ficlet about Old Hook “fusing” with OG Hook, becoming one with him. | Tumblr link

~

A New Experience | G, 1.3 words, written 19 July 2018 | AO3 link | Tumblr link Summary: Killian makes a re-imagining of a storm in the tower for Alice. 

Humans have more senses than vision. In this story, Killian does his best to create an experience for Alice by invoking her other senses. (Also nerding out for my music knowledge by adding an ocean drum)

~

Sad drabble about how Killian seeing his daughter pull away out of fear of hurting him sometimes hurts worse than the curse in his heart. | Tumblr link

~

Under the Weather | G, 2.2 words, written 12 Nov 2018 | AO3 link | Tumblr link Summary: Young Alice gets very ill and Killian tries to help her. 

Don’t let my habit for angst worry you, this has a happy ending. The medicine techniques are probably inaccurate, but I wanted to focus on a scenario of Killian trying to heal Alice with the very very limited sources he has.

~

Remembering Alice | G, 424 words, written 04 Dec 2018 | AO3 link | Tumblr link Summary: After Lucy's birth, Killian can't help feeling sad as he remembers how his daughter is forced to live away from him. 

It is what it is. A short angsty thing. Only Killian appears here, but the focus is on KnightRook.

~

A Merry Little Christmas | G, 1.6 words, written 24 Dec 2018 | AO3 link | Tumblr link Summary: This year, Rogers and Tilly won’t spend Christmas Day on their own. 

I don’t participate on Secret Santa and similar events, cause they stress me out over producing a specific kind of content at a specific time. However, all the love people gave to that year's KnightRook Secret Santa inspired me to write a kinda independent contribution, which came out as this. It may not be Christmas yet but the warm, fuzzy feelings are the same!

~

Untitled ficlet about re-awakened Killian thinking how his true self conflicted with Rogers’ memories and original goals. | Tumblr link

I barely remember writing this one, lol. I think, it may have started as a meta post, then it took a fanfic route on its own. Fics be doing that. I’ll probably post it on AO3 at some point, too.

~

Outward-Bound | T, 2.5 words, written 20 Mar 2019 | AO3 link | Tumblr link Summary: Old, dishevelled, broken-hearted Hook is drowning his sorrows in alcohol, when he happens upon a familiar face, someone he never imagined he’d see again. Warnings: Depiction of alcoholism

Oh, this be sad! Again, only Killian appears, but the KnightRook feels are prominent.

~

Sad (shocking, I know) drabble about Killian being taken away in the ambulance in 7x20 | Tumblr link

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The Dreams That Won’t Come True | G, 2.1k words, written 14 Sep 2019 | AO3 link | Tumblr link Summary: Killian and Alice find a way to be together through their dreams... but it doesn't end up being what they expected. 

That made me sad. Almost made me cry when I first wrote it, and I’m very hard to cry.

~

Bonus Fics!

Untitled ficlet with Robyn and Killian; three moments between them | Tumblr link

~

Accepting Happiness | G, 1k words, written 26 Nov 2018 | AO3 link | Tumblr link Summary: A little after reuniting with Alice, Killian takes a moment to try and let everything sink in. Hooked Queen, open to your interpretation.

Some introspective thoughts on how Killian and Regina would feel, right after the climactic ending of the finale, the one set before the final scene. Only Killian and Regina appear, but KnightRook is in focus.

[thatgirlwritingficsatnight]

Odi et Amo I

Odi et amo. Quare id faciam fortasse requiris? nescio, sed fieri sentio et excrucior

Catullus, 85

After a few years of working in the USA for Disney and playing the role of The White Fox in Marvel Cinematic Universe you came back to your motherland - Korea only to be greeted with hatred and contempt. To make things harder for you the universe sends you the most irritating neighbour ™. Will you be able to find your happiness and  accomplish your dream of becoming loved actress in Korea without complying with standards of patriarchal society?

pairing: Park Jinyoung x reader

genre: actor au

warnings: angst, foul language (please don’t read it if you’re not old enough)

words: 5582

A/N: Hi this is my first fanfic ever, and so there are few things I have to say before you hopefully enjoy reading it. 1. English is not my first language so there may be some grammatical errors. I’m sorry, perhaps in the future there will be someone to proofread my works. 2. I’m terribly sorry for my interpunction :( for some reason they don’t teach it here  and so it may be terrible. I am reading about it more but it’s not easy for me as I haven’t practiced enough. I’m really sorry if it’s awkward. 3. This was supposed to be long oneshot, but I was told not all people enjoy long reads on tumblr like I do, so I decided to make a miniseries out of it. Let me know if you enjoyed it and if you want me to write some scenarios, or post more of my works (i have a lot of them in the depths of my drive lol). Love, thatgirlwritingficsatnight.

***

You sat in spacious sofa in your old apartment in Korea. A sigh leaving your lips as you looked through the headlines.

"The black sheep of Korean show biz comes back after four years in USA"

"Whose heart will she eat now? National heartbreaker came back to Korea"

"Go back to USA you wh*re! - internet went wild over L/N Y/N"

"L/N Y/N comes back in outrageous style"

Most of them were a summary or perhaps a reminder for k-netizens why they should hate you; it's because you dated who you wanted to and for how long you wanted to, it's because this one time in the talk show you told off male host when he kept asking about your private life and because the other time you told another one to stop giving you all the questions about clothes and make up while your male co-star got to answer some deep questions about character development and that's to name the few reasons that came instantly to your mind. Of course some articles had to focus on your airport fashion too. The conservative Korean society had a problem with your bra, or rather a lack of thereof under your designer t-shirt. You left out an irritated groan as you scrolled to the comments. They were vicious and vulgar, you don't know what else did you expect honestly. You tossed the phone and buried your face in your hands fighting the urge to tweet something about the nasty people and how they should keep their antediluvian opinions to themselves. You sighed again perhaps if you were in a different country you'd do that, but here with systematic misogyny, where women were supposed to always smile and nod their heads, here where they got paid 60% of men's pay... you'd most likely be crucified. Then again who if not you would come to your defense? You knew the answer — no one, that realization was enough to anger you even more. The blood was boiling inside you as you snatched your phone back and went into Twitter silently mouthing apologies to your manager who'd be blowing your phone in just a few minutes.

 "Yes, I don't wear bras. No, it's not a topic for your article nor your problem. I also know it may shock some people but my dating life is not a topic for your entertainment either."

"It baffles me how Korean society thinks its country is in the group of one of the most civilized ones but still treats women as if we were stuck in 50s."

  Your phone was already blowing with notifications, you could see some new articles already popping and soon after that it buzzed as your manager tried to reach you. You silenced your phone and left it on the coffee table while you moved to the kitchen. You got yourself a lamp of wine and watched always busy streets of Seoul from a window. It was already dark and it looked like rivers of light with cars and street lights constantly illuminating them. You were deep in your thoughts as you pondered if you made a good decision. You had a good life in California. You had your best friend there, a house with a pool and many good opportunities for roles you declined. In those four years you became an international star after your role as Marvel's White Fox — a gumiho superhero. You knew in a year or two Disney would ask you to come back to make more movies and most likely you would but you couldn't stay in the USA any longer. Somehow, even though it seemed illogical considering the warm welcome you've got, you still missed your home. You missed Korea the country that loved to hate you. You weren't exaggerating when you said they loved to hate you, for instance you always played villains in Korean films and dramas and the Korean audience loved it. They loved to hate your characters and so every time you tried to audition for a role that would be first or second lead you'd always be cast as the villain. The very first time you played a good character was when you portrayed the White Fox for Marvel, they chose you because you were half American (on your father's side) and because you used to play femme fatales and that was kinda the character. You accepted the role secretly hoping that it would change the way Korea has seen you. It didn't. They said you were too Westernised and that you weren't true Korean and had their own perfect casting with actresses that weren't as scandalous as you. Well, at least the rest of the world loved you. Nonetheless, you came back. You still weren't sure if it was a good idea or for how long, or even if you'd work here or just relax; you were just happy you could eat unhealthy convenience store food whenever you felt like and that kimchi was a standard and not something you'd only find in specific shops. Speaking of, you craved some ramyun with cheese and perhaps some yakult as well. You changed your clothes into a pair of black sweats and a black hoodie and chose to wear a black cap and face mask as well. You checked yourself in a huge mirror in the corridor. Your outfit screamed two things: first was "I am a crazy murderer from drama" and and second "look at me I'm a celebrity". You sighed. Honestly what else could you wear? You decided not to change and went out to the nearest convenience store.

You walked slowly taking your time to get to the store while listening to Def Soul hoping lazy beats would calm your nerves. You bopped your head to the rhythm as you entered the store and went straight into ramyun section. You picked your favourite spicy one and grabbed some cheese, yakult and cherry coke. The girl working there seemed really young and you caught her yawning. She apologized and you smiled warmly although she probably couldn't see it through the mask.

"Don't worry about it I'm tired today as well." you said, and she smiled. You paid with a card and regretted not withdrawing any money so that you could tip her. You remember when you were just a bit younger than her, working in similar way but back in the USA; she’d appreciate extra cash. You took the ramyun to prepare it and hummed as you waited for the noodles to get soft. Food always got you to feel better. You were spreading cheese on your noodles when middle-aged men entered the shop. Soon you'd believe it's not your night or perhaps that you got some bad karma, or that you were just cursed. The men came up to the cashier and asked for a pack of cigarettes. You were about to slurp the first noodles when he spoke.

"When will you finish your shift cutie maybe I can pick you up?" He chuckled and the girl tried to smile politely although anyone with eyes could see how uncomfortable she felt. She tried to decline his advances with a small scared voice clearly she was too young to feel comfortable enough to just curse him out.

"You sluts are always the same. You smile at me flirt with me and then act all fucking.."

"Aish!" you didn't let him finish. And he turned your way surprised someone else was in the store. "I lost all appetite," you dropped the chopsticks next to the bowl and moved your gaze at the male: disgust was rolling off from you in waves, and he flinched upon meeting your eyes, "then again who wouldn't if they had to eat in the presence of trash?" You watched as his face got all red and furious, it seemed almost twisted now. "How dare you speak like that to me, you bi..." once again he couldn't finish his sentence this time you silenced him with your swift actions. You closed the distance between the two of you and grabbed his hand firmly. Then you put it behind his back and twisted it painfully enough for him to groan.

"Call me a bitch, I dare you." you said quietly, but he didn't respond, he just jerked trying to escape your hold. He smelled like tobacco, digested alcohol and grease. You scrunched your nose and took him out of the store. You pushed him lightly, and yet he still lost balance and fell. He shot you a glare full of hate and fury while you tried to remain calm. Truth to be told you were scared, yes you jumped in to help the girl, and successfully silenced him, but that was most likely only because he wasn't sober. You were silently asking universe to help you out as you mustered your courage and played your part of "fearless Y/N”.

"Leave or I'll call the police and tell them you harassed both me and the girl." He stood up and spit under your legs before he left. You sighed, a tight knot unravelling itself finally in your belly, adrenaline that was brought up with the surge of fury disappearing now, leaving you bit wobbly. You made mental note to thank the director of The White Fox for making you take those material arts classes, they came in handy. You came back to the store, you didn’t pay attention to the girl that watched you in awe. You just wanted to enjoy your noodles. Finally, able to take the bite you let out disgusted groan they got too soft. Letting out resigned sigh you opened the yakult.

"Miss Y/N.." small voice started next to you. The girl was blushing and smiling. She was cute, had long brown hair and a mole just under her left eye. You smiled back and it seemed to encourage her. "Thank you. You are like the coolest unnie ever. I will always support you and fight anyone that calls you names and.." You chuckled at her eagerness and sudden flood of words. "Thanks kid. What's your name? "Kim Seoyun." "Nice to meet you Kim Seoyun. I'm L/N Y/N." you said with a smile, and she blushed even more. You looked through the window and bit the inside of your cheek. What if he comes back when you're gone, you couldn’t risk it. "Tell me Seoyun when do you end your shift?" She took out a phone from her pocket. "Oh, in ten minutes." "Great I'll wait for you and order you a taxi." "Ah, unnie you don't have to… you already helped me enough and.." "Nonsense", you cut her off "he may come back and I'll sleep better knowing you are safe at home."

She nodded and came back to work. Leaving you with your soggy and lukewarm noodles. You thought about throwing it out but you hated wasting food and so you made yourself eat at least a bit although now it was cold and awfully soft. Ten minutes passed rather quickly and soon you found yourself standing next to the taxi with Seoyun. You gestured her to get in, but she stood in front of you and suddenly bowed deeply while extending her hands in front of you. Much to your surprise she was giving you a popsicle.

"Y/N-unnie I know it's not much but I wanted to thank you..."

You grinned at her while taking the gift. You quickly unwrapped it and tried it, it was strawberry flavoured.

"Thank you. It's the best popsicle I've ever had." You said honestly. Seoyun blushed and entered the car but before the taxi took off she lowered the car window and screamed.

"Y/N-unnie from today I'm your biggest fan! Unnie fighting!" You laughed.

"Mmm. Thank you!" After that car took off and you happily walked back home. Earphones in, phone in your hand as you decided to order some food since the ramyun sadly haven't been quite satisfying. You slurped at the popsicle even though it was the time of year when nights got colder. The taste of strawberries melted on your tongue. It was the first time someone in Korea told you they were your fan, it was also the first time a Korean fan gave you a gift. Despite the chilly air, and cold ice against your lips you felt warmth spreading from your chest. Grinning to yourself, you scrolled through different restaurants still thinking of what should you eat and then you bumped into someone or rather someone bumped into you. Popsicle fell to the ground and so did your phone with earphones brutally torn out from your ears. The man who bumped into you was in a very similar attire as your own he even wore a mask and a cap. You frowned upon realizing the gift from your first Korean fan was melting next to you. You were however about to apologize before he spoke in irritated tone while collecting some boxes scattered around you two.

"Next time watch where you're going." The blood inside you boiled the third time this evening and you snapped back at him before he could add anything else.

"Maybe you should watch where you're going." your tone was so aggressive it was clear all of the frustrations from today's evening build up in you. You gathered your things quickly.

"Excuse me..." he said straightening as he glared at you. His tone was promising a fight or a lecture at least. You didn't feel like any of that so once again today you didn't let someone finish their sentence, a habit of yours as it seems.

"Apologies accepted, asshole." you said fiercely and left him standing there with his stupid boxes in a state of shock. You got into the elevator and decided not to pay anyone any more of your thoughts tonight. You smiled at wooden popsicle stick and quickly forgot about the man downstairs.

Jinyoung was still shocked but also amused by your witty comeback. He knew he reacted upon his emotions when he was rude to you. He was just angry that he had to move the second time in the last two months. Sasaengs somehow found out about his last apartment in which he lived for only two weeks and just started feeling at home. Few days ago they found him, and he was harassed once again. Tired and angry he acted without thinking when you bumped into him and his belongings scattered. He wanted to apologize right away but you growled back at him, and he got irritated, so he wanted to lecture you or at least tell you not to interrupt other people when they are speaking, but you did just that and in very smart matter at that as well. Now Jinyoung was riding an elevator trying to pinpoint your face, he was sure he had seen you somewhere already. He entered his flat and sighed as he realized he had to unpack once again. He decided it could wait till morning.

You were woken up by both pounding and drilling in the wall behind your head. With long groan you pulled a pillow over your head but it didn't help much. You checked the time on your phone. It was seven thirty in the morning and you couldn't fall asleep till three - courtesy of your jet lag. You tried to ignore it hoping that you were sleepy and tired enough to fall asleep, unfortunately to no avail.

"Who the hell does the renovation on Saturday morning?" you asked your own walls with furious tone. You left the bed deciding to speak with the person next door. You didn't even bother to change from your PJ or brush your teeth, or hair, or even to throw something over yourself. You left your apartment in your bunny pyjama set, a gift from your best friend. Soon you were pounding angrily at the door. It took quite some time before the drilling inside stopped and someone opened the door. The man who opened seized you up and down with his eyes and coughed in his fist diverting his gaze somewhere else.

"Can I help you?" he asked his voice was a bit distressed. "I sure hope you can. It's Saturday seven in the morning." you were fuming, and he finally looked at you although he kept his eyes stuck to your face. "Ah... thank you for informing me. Are you working as personal calendar and clock for all of your neighbours or am I on some special treatment?" he asked sarcastically and smirked which made you: first bewildered and second even more mad if that's possible. "Let me rephrase that for you: it's Saturday, early morning and you are drilling in a wall." "Well, technically it was Mr Ahn who was drilling, I was enjoying myself with a book." He clearly enjoyed teasing you, there was this gleam in his eyes. "Don't you think that's a bit too early for a renovation?" your voice was seething with venom although you tried to keep your cool. "Quite contrary. I checked with the building manager, and I am only supposed to keep quiet between ten p.m and seven a.m. as you can see I even waited thirty minutes." He smiled at you and in that second you hated him, his stupid brown hair, strangely symmetrical face, weirdly tight cardigan and the fact that you couldn't do much since he was in the right. You just turned on your heels ready to storm off back to your flat when he spoke again. "Ah, and might I add I just love your fashion sense." he raised one brow and his eyes once again travelled through your body. "Excuse me?"

"Apologies accepted." Your face went from frowned and angry to shocked in a second, and he laughed at your reaction before closing the doors and leaving you cursing yourself, your luck and your best friend who thought it would be cute to buy you pyjama set which contained of hoodie with ears and a bunny tail and some shorts.

You entered your apartment, deep red setted on your face from both anger and embarrassment. As soon as you closed the doors the drilling continued. You cursed under the breath and went to shower. You stood long under the stream letting the water wash away both dirt and emotions. Once you were clean and ready for the day you’ve decided to ditch your flat for now since it was too loud for you anyway. This time you went for less sporty look but still all black. It was a turtleneck, slacks, martens and a beret. Chic and comfortable. You did  your makeup and hair and went out for breakfast. The car was already waiting for you when you got downstairs. You pulled a black mask over your face and greeted the driver who didn't talk much and so you didn't have to worry about the small talk. You scrolled through your phone checking the messages you got from your manager — there was about twenty of them and somehow each was written with different emotion: rage, irritation, sadness, hopelessness and so on. You sighed knowing that you should probably apologize for the troubles you caused him. Then again what were you supposed to do, not react when half of this country is calling you names? You signed back in your Twitter only to be greeted by thousands of notifications. Most of which were trolls and haters commenting on your tweets with occasional death threats in your DMs. You tried your very best not to read each and every comment knowing that even though you were strong it still affected you. You were; however, positively surprised when you found some supporting voices. There was your best friend (obviously) who fiercely defended you and called out everyone on their bull, he even threatened legal action and you smiled brightly at his tweets, but there were also few Korean celebrities who took your side and defended you as well. Most importantly there were few normal people, fans perhaps, who applauded you and thanked for speaking out. You smiled when you saw user "Y/NUnnieFandomPresidentSeoyun" somewhere in your notifications. Somehow traffic was still bad even on weekend and it took you forty minutes to get to the café you had in mind. Once you got there however you didn't regret time spend on travel. It was café in quiet part of town, it wasn't very popular since it wasn't in Gangnam but because of that it was one of your favourites. No paparazzi, no dispatch, no other celebrities.

The place itself wasn't very big but it had huge windows and was located in front of the park so you could easily grab a coffee and go for a walk or just stay inside and watch people and kids spending their time at the park. The interior wasn't anything special either, it wasn't one of those Instagram worthy cafés. It had simple modern style. You came in and ordered coffee and some toasts and sat in front of the window. There were few people inside so you sat without your mask freely and wondered if your friend was already sleeping. It was around nine here so in Los Angeles it was probably midnight. You texted him asking if he's sleeping, and he just responded by facetiming you right away. His black hair was still wet from shower, and he wasn't wearing any shirt.

"Yah! Y/N-ah!" he scolded you immediately. "How dare you not text or call your best friend for over a day. Do you know how worried I was?" You rolled your eyes at him.

"It's not like you contacted me either. And put some clothes on Tuan."

"Never. I know you secretly love watching my chest."

"Gross. Anyway.. I haven't called because I was tired yesterday, you know jet lag and all of that, so don't get mad at me."

"How are you now?" His playfulness was replaced by concern and it was clear he wasn't really asking about the quality of your sleep which was in fact terrible thanks to your lovely neighbour.

"I'm fine." He gave you the look. "Really. Honestly I didn't expect anything better from what I got, so I'm fine Mark."

"I shouldn't have let you go. You know what? Those people don't deserve you. Come back to the USA and let's live together again I'll even cook. Or I can come to you I'll fight them and keep you company. I'm can easily stream from there.." You giggled at him and he grinned. "You know I'm serious though you can come back I already miss you anyway. God, I should have married you maybe you wouldn't leave me Y/N-ah..." he was whiny again and you laughed. It was an inside joke between you. Both yours and his parents would always tell you to just marry already but neither of you felt anything romantic towards the other one. You'd known each other since you were two and both of you had treated each other like siblings ever since.

"You should have and now it's too late. I'll find myself new victim and feast on their heart like a true gumiho I am." you said in theatrical manner while munching on your toast.

"Honestly who the fuck writes those articles?"

"I don't know but I'm pretty sure... Oh my god. You've got to be kidding me." you said and tried to lower your face down so that the person passing in front of the window you've been sitting by couldn't see you.

"What? What? Is that paparazzi? Your ex? Is that paparazzi rented by your ex?" You frowned at your friend.

"What? No? It's my asshole neighbour." "Never heard of him. Why are we hiding anyway? You can just tell him to back off. Last time I checked you were great at that." He showed you two thumbs up and smiled broadly. "I'm hiding because I'm embarrassed and I don't want to talk to him." "Why?" he laughed. "What did you do?" "I didn't do anything it was that stupid PJ you got me..." you whispered at him while trying to make yourself as small as possible. "Oh my god. One day in Korea and you already got yourself a one-night stand. This is not how I raised you. What would your mother say?" he teased you and giggled. "For the love of... it's not like that." you said angrily a bit too loud perhaps since the men in question who was just ordering by the counter turned around and looked you dead in the eyes. His neutral expression changing to surprised before it transformed to smirk. You cursed yourself and Mark and bowed your head slightly and awkwardly before you turned around to face your now laughing friend.

"You should see your face."

"Shut up. I hate you."

"You love me."

"What a surprise." Third voice spoke up by your side and you cringed a little before you put on your cold mask on.

"A surprise indeed." You said, your neighbour moved his eyes from your face to the screen of your phone carefully placed against the glass. Mark was still there, still half naked and smirking at you.

"Am I interrupting something?"

"Yes."

"No." you and Mark said at the same time and you send him death glare regretting that you couldn't kick him right now. "I was about to go to sleep anyway. Love you."

He disappeared without waiting for your response. You let out soft sigh and reach out for phone.

"Do you mind if I join you?" The man was already sitting next to you. He was smiling at you and perhaps any other person would say it was a warm type of smile but you felt like he was mocking you. Constantly. You straightened up in your seat and eyed him closely. He was wearing the same tight cardigan, it was accentuating his broad frame and muscles hidden underneath soft, brown cashmere and simple but well fitted blue jeans. You had to admit he was handsome and had somehow angelic face which only made you cringe once you compared it to his personality or at least to what he showed you already. "I don't think that's a good idea." You said after a pause, his expression didn't change for a second, and he sipped on coffee that blushing waitress brought a few seconds ago. "How so?" His voice was sweet and melodic, it irritated you even more. "I am a celebrity, there might be an article about me having coffee with you tomorrow." You kept your tone intentionally bored as you played with the spoon. He laughed and you changed your mind his speaking voice couldn't be called melodic when his laughter sounded so beautifully.

"That's funny. I'm celebrity as well I think I'll survive." It wasn't surprising at all, he was too good-looking to not be an idol, a model or an actor perhaps. You held back another sigh. You could already see the headlines "Y/N attacks again will this man keep up with her appetite" or perhaps "One day in Korea, and she already dates — check out Y/N and her new boy toy". "Yeah I doubt it." you said but quickly added. "Weren't you supposed to renovate your apartment anyway?" "I left it to Mr Ahn it got too loud for me to read in peace."

"I can imagine." Sarcasm was basically dripping from your tongue which only seemed to amuse him even more. His eyes were now twinkling and you thought that he must be a devil in disguise. "I must say it's very lucky that I met you here. What are the odds, right?" "Ah I wouldn't call it lucky, that's for sure." You were currently planning how to escape from this conversation. "So how about we get to know each other a bit better?" He proposed with a warm smile. "I don't think so. I don't even know you." "Oh. That's harsh you do know me. I'm your neighbour and this is our third meeting." He placed a hand over his heart and frowned in pain and you wondered how can one still look handsome while frowning before he continued. "Besides I can fix that. I'm Park Jinyoung nice to meet you. See now we know each other." You fought and urge to roll your eyes and you summoned the most polite looking smile you had in your arsenal. Your phone rang before you could say anything and you've never been more happy to see your manager's face appearing on your screen.

"I'm sorry I have to take it." you said politely, and he just nodded. "Oh I wasn't expecting you to pick up." "Ah manager-nim don't be like that I haven't been picking up only for one day." "Why are you so polite are you with someone?" "Yes." You glared at Jinyoung, he was watching you with a smile with coffee in his hand. "Ok, I can call later." "No!" you almost screamed and cleared your throat trying to remain composure. "No, it's fine." "O-ok. Do you have time today? We should meet and talk I just got something that may interest you. It's really nice drama. I know you said you don't want to play in any of those romantic stories but hear me out this one is..." you'd roll your eyes if not for your neighbour's curious eyes. "Of course when and where will we meet?" You decided to cut off his rumbling. "Really? Before departure, you said you won't play in any stupid drama again." "Ah, I see. I did say that. We should meet today, text me the address then." Hanging up on him, you hoped he got the brains to follow up with text. He thankfully did and your phone barked. Jinyoung laughed again and you gave him confused look. "Did your phone just bark at you?" You blushed against yourself. Was it so weird to have a dog's bark as your message sound? "Ah... yes. I like dogs." You cringed on yourself. Somehow today in front of this man you were constantly losing your cool. He either irritated you or made you flustered enough to forget any eloquent comebacks or eloquence at all. "Anyway it was nice meeting you Jinyoung-ssi but I have to meet up with my manager."

"Oh you're leaving without even properly introducing yourself?" He cocked a brow on you and smirked. You stood up and looked at him coldly. "I'm sorry I don't feel the need." You were about to leave before he spoke again. "Ah… running already... startled... like a true bunny. Come to think of it... it does have a nice ring into it, doesn't it? Bunny. It suits you and you even have a costume already." His voice was so extremely mocking that you felt the irritation buzzing in you like electricity. Not to mention he spoke so loudly the waitress that was blushing at him before now listened carefully. You groaned internally. What if she writes about it somewhere. Media won't let you live especially that he is your neighbour they'd say he is already in love with you. And "bunny" was such a couple pet name. You were in the midst of your internal crisis before he decided to speak again.

"Have nice day bun.." You reacted before you thought, your hand slapped against his mouth before he could say anything more. His eyes got bigger, he was clearly shocked that you were so close to him, that you touched him and that you didn't really care about your language. You on the other had were fuming. You've met your fair share of fuckboys, assholes and idiots but not one of them that had similar status to yours acted with such insolence in public where other people could see you. Well, almost none, perhaps your ex was the only one. You kept your voice quiet, loud enough only for him to hear.

"Shut up. And watch your tongue before I pull it out because the universe be my witness I will and I'll do it with pleasure. My name is not kitten, bunny or any other pet name your buffoon head comes up with. It's Y/N. My name is bloody Y/N." You hissed out and his hand reach out to yours. It was hot from coffee and soft even though his grasp was firm. He took your hand of his mouth and smiled.

"Nice to meet you."

You took a step back and send him the look that must have looked like you were trying to shoot daggers at him.

"I'm sure it is. Now if you excuse me. I don't want to be late."

You rushed to counter to pay only to find out it was already taken care of by Jinyoung. You furrowed your brows and wanted to give him his money back instantly but your phone buzzed and it was your cue to leave. The driver was here.

To Mark 🐰 💙 : One day Tuan... you'll pay for this betrayal

From Mark 🐰 💙 : ILY 2 good night. P.S. He seemed hot 👀

You rolled your eyes how hot was he didn't matter if his sole personality drove you crazy only after three brief meetings. You sighed. This was not how you wanted to spend this day: enraged twice and on your way to see your manager.

Keep reading

[logically-asexual]

okay i'm already procrastinating and i don't plan on sleeping any time soon so here we go.

☆ ✩ my personal ranking for every season 1 Sanders Sides episode. ✩ ☆

i think it's going to be pretty similar to @dukeofonions' but let's see if i find something new to contribute haha. i see you didn't include that one about Patton in the Big Game or whatever, so i'm not including it either xd. also i think i'm going to count Accepting Anxiety as one episode only.

edit: i finished and now i dare you to drink a shot of water every time i say the word spanish or a version of the word comfort and become very well hydrated.

#16 I'm in a Disney Show

(i agree with dukeofonions here) i always forget this episode exists. it was ok in terms of being happy for real life Thomas but as a Sanders Sides episode it didn't do anything. the sides were just giving their opinions but it wasn't very funny or interesting. also i'm bitter because it made me look up the episode he was in and i didn't like it at all. i don't know if i'm too old for those Disney shows now but Thomas was literally the only good part of it, everything else was really dull and boring imo. a waste of time.

however, Logan supporting clickbait is one of the funniest things ever, and i'll never forget it.

#15 Becoming A Cartoon

i didn't hate this episode but it was just .. meh.. you know? several factors contribute to this. one, i couldn't feel much nostalgia for Butch Hartman's shows because i watched them in Spanish, and everything feels really weird when they speak English, i don't like how my old cartoons sound in English. two, it was disappointing to me because we were all desperately waiting for Plot™ and instead they give us this short episode about nothing (oh how the tables have turned now it's the other way around haha). and three, i didn't like the style of the animation :/ their faces and expressions freaked me out, Roman's douchey face still haunts me.

#14 Way Too Adult

here i'm biased because i don't like Patton much, and i didn't back when i watched the series the first time either, so this video was a little disappointingwithout the rest. also it wasn't relatable to me because i am still too young and dependent on my parents haha. but Patton is funny and it's funny to laugh at Thomas' struggling.

#13 The Dark Side of Disney

i've never been a fan of Disney movies. i actually never watched Mulan or the Lion King or Aladdin as a kid, so meh. i liked the ending, though, it was cool to see Virgil have fun and be right for once. it does make me a bit uncomfortable because the way Thomas tries too hard with Virgil's mouth movements and his low voice reminds me of a guy that had made me v uncomfortable not long before watching that video. so an icky feel overall.

#12 A New Year of Lying to Myself

this video was actually kind of fogettable to me. i had a hard time connecting the voices in the song to the characters and idk. i don't love it nor hate it, just .. neutral.

#11 My True Identity

pretty much the same opinion as dukeofonions, again. it's a good introduction and it's good that it was the beginning of it all but on its own it's not very special. i think it's awesome on Thomas to have come up with such a clever idea, like choosing the dad, the teacher and the prince and putting them together and match them with thoughts?? that fit so perfectly?? it really is just very impressive when you think about it, that it was just a random idea he had for a short 5 minute video.

#10 Taking on Anxiety

i liked this video a lot because when i watched it i had recently been a lot on tumblr, and found out through relatable posts that i had anxiety. so watching this video was really fun and it made me happy to feel so seen, specially the intro when Thomas just talks about what it's like to have Anxiety and Virgil is so smug about it.

- ★ -

okay now that those are out of the way things are going to get hard... all the following i love with all my heart so i'm going to rank them based on the smallest things.

#9 Growing Up

once more, Patton isn't my favorite. so that's why i'm putting this here, plus the echo at the end askjhsahg, but i love love this video. i remember we were waiting and oh so ready for the angst of nobody taking Patton seriously. and we received!! i love that though Roman and Logan are antagonists here, they're both so happy about Thomas wanting to have a healthy life. and i just adore the way Logan admits his mistake at the end and asks Patton directly. my heart... also aw.. the nostalgia. i remember none of us knew how to spell Patton's name and were writing it in very funny ways until Thomas and Joan told us lol.

#8 The Mind vs The Heart

when i watched this video the first times i didn't like it much, because i only had eyes for Virgil, but later i came back to it and loved it. so taking that into account i'm putting it here. logicality was the first ship i ever shipped in the show because i saw a gifset on tumblr of Patton screaming "what do you know about love?!" and Logan "apparently more than YOU" and the caption said "MARRIED", and i thought hey yeah... anyway. i love them. they're both my dads since that day.

this video is so so so relatable and i love it. Logan and Patton are so much fun arguing and i love how they compromise at the end and work together. im reconsidering.. i might move it higher? no, fine i'll leave it here.

#7 Making Some Changes

this video was absolutely hilarious. i personally couldn't see it as the Sides still once they were acted by Thomas' friends, i enjoyed it more as that bunch being silly and trying to be the sides but failing in so many ways, while sometimes nailing stuff suddenly. i really don't take this one too seriously as an episode. except Joan!Logan and Valerie!Logan, my beloved... i love how Joan acted as Logan and their voice and that they kept their ace ring on.. there's a reason i had them as my icon for so long. and Valerie looks a bit (a lot) like me with the glasses and dressed in dark colors, plus she spoke Spanish and there's .. no words to describe the joy i felt when seeing/hearing that. wait i'm getting emotional...

#6 My Personality Q&A

when i watched this Virgil was my favorite side and i didn't care much about the rest lol. when i heard his answers i related to him SO much it was scary, and also his voice is so soft and it was all very comforting. it was also when i first starting looking at Logan with more attention, because when he brought up Big Hero 6 and Fall Out Boy and said he didn't sing and would recite it like a poem? it only took a couple seconds but my brain said "me" and never went back.

now this video is a little underwhelming to watch for me, most of the appeal for me was in finding out the answers, and also watching it when we didn't know a lot about the sides. now we know more and want to know more so it's not as fun to me as it was first.

i wish so bad they'd do another one, although i know it would be more difficult with a much bigger audience, i think they can manage and i just need it. the chaos.. the energy.. they all being so savage with each other, learning little random facts about them you didn't expect.. i need it.

- ★ -

oh boy top 5 here we go. the next three are practically a tie. i can't choose.

#5 Alone on Valentines Day

i love Valerie, and the idea of this video was perfect and so perfectly excecuted. every side just giving their crazy opinions on how to woo a random stranger, i laughed SO much. first with Logan speaking simlish out of nowhere? at that point i didn't know practically anything about the sims except that it was some video game and the whiplash of Logan going AYO and the rest killed me. then when Roman whipped out that dialogue in Spanish??? my life was completed. i've never felt more happy than i did in that moment gosh. just the hilarity of Roman's drama, the shock of them speaking Spanish suddenly like that, the absolute JOY of seeing a creator i like speak (may i say) perfect Spanish, the other characters' faces after that.. never been happier.

also the conclusion was so cute. Virgil solving the whole problem without wanting to. i loved it.

#4 Am I Original

i think this video speaks for itself. it was fun to watch them all do the ideas Roman had, plus Logan and Virgil nodding at each other, (i love them so much), plus the angst at the end of Roman's perfectionism, plus Roman's just perfect name. this video has it all.

i think Thomas posted it kind of late at night and i watched it at 7am in the classroom as i waited for my classmates to arrive and the class to start. (i usually was like 40 minutes early to school due to mom’s work). i had to contain my laughter and it wasn’t easy.

#3 Losing My Motivation

i started loving this video after a while, when Logan passed Virgil in the position for my favorite side. but once he did this episode was beautiful. it's so funny and i love Logan and Patton's dynamic so much. and the video also so damn relatable in general. i felt so seen with it because they named all the problems i have when procrastinating, down to Patton's vague explanation of his feelings, it's exactly how i feel every time i want to do stuff. and the plot twist! i can hear the dramatic sound effect and see how they all turn to Logan clearly in my head, and it always makes me smile. plus there's so much Logan angst that can be dug up and overanalized. i love to watch it over and over.

#2 Accepting Anxiety

this video was perfect. everything we wanted. we knew it was coming and it delivered perfectly, better than any fanfic done in the waiting time. the week between the parts was agonizing but in a fun way somehow. i remember precisely when i was watching part 2 in my living room. i screamed. and i cried, a lot. i was feeling terrible at that time in my life and Thomas was such a comforting presence and i can't begin to describe how this episode made me feel.

and later it is always fun to rewatch with all their different reactions to being in Virgil's room, the energy of that was on point. Thomas is such a great actor and the characters where just amazingly performed. plus it gave so much to talk adn think about, the idea of the rooms, lots lots of insight into the characters, foreshadowing, so much. it's just perfect i have nothing else to say.

#1 (for purely emotional reasons, ironically) My Negative Thinking

i think Accepting Anxiety is the best episode of the season objectively but my favorite is My Negative Thinking. because i love Virgil and Logan so much and seeing them argue together was and is great. the comfort.. i can't repeat that word enough throughout this post. it's such a soft video while not being overwhelming with Patton and Roman's outbursts. just quiet (mostly) and clear and with perfectly timed humour.

Logan my beloved.. learning spanish... helping me with my own anxiety.. and their debate was so good. and the fact that they were friends i- i can't. Virgil didn't think Logan liked him and Logan told him explicitly that he did and the casual softness of it i cant even. Logan is happy that he tried.. it's just marvelous. Virgil and Logan as best friends will always be my favorite pair, and their dynamic will always be what i strive for in any relationship i might form, with both sides silently comforting each other within their own limits and realistic perspectives. so nice.

- ★ -

so yeah. that's all. thank you if you read all the way up to here. ♡ ♡ ♡

[zet-sway]

@the-wip-project day 46:

What does your editing/revision process look like?

GREAT QUESTION LOL (ʘᴗʘ✿)

It's a mess. It's a god damn shit ass mess. I can slam down 1k words in an hour if the mood strikes but I will, without question, second guess the everliving fuck out of every last word.

So I write a scene and then spend like 1 week minimum nitpicking it.

Editing fanfic! Its a thing I do until it makes me literally sick. Sometimes I know I'm done with something when I just can't fucking stand to read it anymore. Holy hell you guys just don't have any idea how heavily edited all of my work is.

The method is: draft first, fix later.

So usually my WIPs are stuffed into Tumblr's drafts thing. And I pick at them a few minutes at a time, multiple times a day.

While I'm at work

When I get home

Before bed

When I wake up

When I'm taking a shit

You know, downtime lol

In fact I often start editing the work before I even finish writing all of it.

The number one thing I find myself doing when I'm revising work, is taking the second half of a phrase/sentence/paragraph and cut/pasting it in front of what was once the first half. I don't know why but most of the time, when I rearrange words like this, I like them better.

I also keep the fucking thesaurus handy. Because I'm not confident in my vocabulary. One of the shitty things about writing a lot of smut is this oppressive feeling of "sameness" that permeates each work. It's all smut. Mouths, hands, genitals, sensations, feelings, intimacy. There are only so many words to describe how it feels to be touched. And I don't want to reuse the same idioms from scene to scene cause then it just feels like "I wrote the same smut but remixed." I'm trying to incorporate a heavy focus on dialogue these days and that's helping a lot, but wordplay is challenging when you're writing oral sex for the third time in two months. At that point I often find myself banging out a non smutty scene just to like, loosen up a little.

Side note: I found this "sexy thesaurus" online that listed "heart of her arousal" as a way to say vagina and I'll be honest I've never heard this one and I really love it so yeah expect to see that more lmao

And one of the biggest things I do when I'm editing is distance. I have to take breaks from the work, to write something else, or just to do anything else at all. Sometimes I read other fanfics which is a double edged sword because it's inspiring but also makes me think "fuck why didn't I think of that???" But I'm trying to distance myself from the notion that I can't "borrow" from other works. I can borrow. Borrowing a "train of thought" is not plagiarism. Borrowing one word used near another word is not plagiarism. If I don't try out new words, I will never grow as a writer.

And don't even get me started on dialogue. It's funny because I find Shepard's character a pain to write but her dialogue is very easy for me. She speaks with my voice (not literally but in terms of words). Thane I find easy to identify but harder to dialogue. I revise his words a lot. There's a fine line between his ample vocabulary and his direct way of speaking. For instance in Taste of Victory, I revised these lines at least five different ways:

"What do you hope to gain by poring all night over strategic data?" - I struggled with what exactly Shepard was looking at. I wanted her to be doing some small, pointless thing that made her feel like she was still contributing to the war while tired as fuck, but I didn't want to use the words "war assets."

"The whole galaxy could be on to us and I could not find it in myself to care." - I wanted him to say "I have no fucks to give" in the most Theloquent way possible. I just made up the word Theloquent - Thane + Eloquent. I'll see myself out LMAO

"Ah, the legend herself, assassinated in the fortified heart of her own warship?" - this line was originally way too long. I wanted to keep the words 'legend,' assassinated,' and 'warship.'

Thane in particular is very easy to "overdo," in my opinion. It's easy to put too many big words in his mouth and even easier to tack "Siha" on to every single line of dialogue. In my headcanon, he calls her Shepard just as often, usually saving Siha for more private moments but not always. Actually he sometimes calls her "Dess" too, as a shortened version of "December" (thank you spookyvalentine for that nickname!) but I don't use my Shep's name as a general rule. But yeah I don't want Thane to sound like a thesaurus.

The absolute hardest thing is second guessing the "plot." I'm dealing with a lot of that now. If I change an idea for something that hasn't been written yet - while simultaneously working on a scene that comes AFTER that event - oh my god it just makes my stomach flip with anxiety. I could fix this by actually writing in a linear fashion. But that's so fucking hard to do lmao. That's one reason I haven't finished my long ass WIP yet. I'm happy with the interlude scene but I keep thinking I want to slow burn it more - it's important because both Shep and Thane make direct references to events that happened previously. Events that I haven't written yet. This is me clutching my fucking head in my hands and screaming into a pillow lmao (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

So TLDR my editing process is extremely nonlinear, time consuming, and exhausting. I have this ingrained idea that "there's always room for improvement." But often by the time I'm done editing I can't see what's good about the work anymore. I know which moments I like but I can't see it from an objective standpoint anymore. Coming back to fanfic after years was an incredible experience because it was the first time I ever read my own work from a completely clueless perspective. It gave me inhuman confidence to write again, and I have to remember that because I'll second guess myself into the ground if I'm not careful.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I should maybe try and calm down a bit lol

[hopeswriting]

Hullo hullo Hopes, it's for the ask game ! 4, 23 and 43 ? :O

Hi there, thank you for the ask!

4. Link your three favorite fics right now.

I simply could not only choose three of them, so you get six instead, in no particular order.

come get me by MakeItVoid on ffnet (Katekyo Hitman Reborn).

Reborn waits a little impatiently for someone to come get him. He doesn't know what to do now. The fire is creeping closer. (Reborn doesn't want to die like this.) 

It’s a one-shot, with the exact dynamic I reach for in all my Arco fics, and it hits just all the spots for me. Simply cannot recommend it enough.

Just Another Tuesday by ariathal2410 on ffnet (Katekyo Hitman Reborn).

Tsuna doesn't know why all this supernatural shit started happening in his life, but he'd really like it to stop now please. Mild Arco27

OR in which Tsuna attracts too much attention because he's surprisingly good at recognizing supernatural beings (and he's just too cute to resist).

A 10k one-shot where Tsuna is in college, and keeps stumbling upon these supernatural creatures that then just never leave his life. Very domestic fluff like, and never fails to brighten my mood when I need it. Very funny too.

Survivor by atruwriter on ffnet (Harry Potter).

Waiting. He was always waiting. He'd already buried one best friend and now the other will follow. There was nothing he could do or say. There was no Harry without Hermione. Ron witnessed the beginning and now he must accept the end. HHr. 4parts Complete! 

It’s been a long time since I reread this one tbh, but as long as you’re a Hhr shipper or just don’t mind the ship? I recommend it a thousand times.

It’s written from Ron’s pov, and is written so well, and I remember having called it a masterpiece after I read it, and I still stand by it. Just a very beautiful fic in all its tragedy.

Sincerely, Scattered Shards by You_Light_The_Sky on ao3 (Katekyo Hitman Reborn).

Tsuna’s the foolish type to give a bit of his heart to anyone he meets. No one ever wanted his ugly heart shards until he met his Guardians. No one ever treasured his heart shards until them either. Hints of All27 and R27. 

It’s an ongoing fic, and I don’t remember it in details anymore lol, but just read it. You want to read it. You won’t regret reading it if it seems the type of fic you might like.

It’s beautiful, and sad, and a bit tragic at times, but then Tsuna starts finding his Guardians and it becomes a little better. And worth it.

Those Last Few Memories by Ourliazo on ao3 (Katekyo Hitman Reborn).

In one future, the Arcobaleno band together and try to fight off the Anti Tri-ni-set radiation. 

As the author says, “ this story follows their slow descent into death”, and it’s low key fucking heartbreaking, and high key gets you in the feels and makes you want to bawl your eyes out, so really, I can only recommend it asdfgh.

Target Acquired: Wicked Jester by poorasdirt on ao3 (Katekyo Hitman Reborn).

Colonnello has always been a military man. He understood what led to him being cursed. He understood why the others had been cursed. Or, well, why most of the others had been cursed. Skull's motivations had always been a mystery to him. Now that the curse had been lifted, Colonnello could finally sit back and try to puzzle it out. If only it were that easy.

Or Colonnello's instincts were telling him something wasn't right and curiosity only kills cats.

NELLO/SKULL SUPREMACY. Also told in Nello’s pov so Nell-centric. But also entirely about Skull, so Skull-centric. What more do you want??

Azesdfgh ahem, jokes aside. This one is seriously good. Not just because it’s focused first on Nello & Skull relationship (it’s actually a gen fic lol, my bad), or because it has just the right amount of Poly!Arco hinted for us shippers even if it’s platonic/found family.

The fic gives Skull a very in depth and intricate backstory, and for having read my fair share of Skull-centric fics, it’s a very original one. A very mysterious one too, and the fic has a spy/thriller aspect to it that’s very fun to read, as you discover more and more about Skull along with the Arco.

Some of Skull’s backstory also tie with canon worldbuilding the author then expands with their own take on it, and even if it’s a characters driven story, and the plot is only really there first to enhance that fact, it still gets you curious to see it unfold.

And of course the Arco interactions with each other. The fic has a very low key found family vibes fitting to it, but that are very present nonetheless, and feel genuine and heartwarming.

Though there’s some Sky Arco, and specifically Uni and Aria antagonism, but as a Giglio Nero stan myself, it’s not present enough you can’t overlook it if you try.

So if you like Skull and/or Colonnello and/or found family Arco and you didn’t read the fic yet? Don’t wait any longer!

23. What’s your absolute favorite trope to write? 

Already answered this one so I’ll just copy past it!

I’ve been thinking about it, and it’s gotta be Hurt/Comfort, both as a writer and a reader. And this is probably just me projecting lol, but there’s just something in seeing characters be hurt/hurting, knowing they’ll have/will be given care after that speaks to me.

Also I guess it’s pretty obvious to say it, but mostly as a reader, the hurt must come with comfort. Or at least I need to be 100% certain the comfort will come at some point, and will matter.

And I actually think that’s why I can only handle so much amount of angst, because unless it’s tagged for it (and even then, I find Angst with a Happy Ending and such, and Hurt/Comfort just don’t hit the same way), you never know if it’ll be  worth it in the end. And I’m a big softie so I can’t handle it zsdfgdsc.

A very close second favorite trope, also both as a writer and a reader, is when any characters with Responsibilities/Duties/Expectations (namely The Chosen One trope and such) just say fuck it all and does fuck it all.

Either by finding a solution that won’t leave them incredibly traumatized when all’s said and done, or by actually fucking off and making it everyone else’s problem.

I find it’s mostly present in Dark![Character Name] fics, which I also love to write and read, so it all works out for me lol.

43. Talk about a positive experience with fanfiction or the fanfiction community that you will always remember.

Mmmh, not sure if I have one yet? I only really started trying to get involved in the fanfiction community last year, so I feel maybe I’m not quite there to have these type of experiences.

That said, I can only talk about that one time I did a fanfic event for the first time, and @chierry was there every step of the way, leaving me a comment on each of my fics, and that was incredibly motivating. Felt really amazing too, and made the event that much more fun, so shoutout to her<3.

Also shoutout to that one time where we got Arco brainrot at the same time on the same frequency, and kind of just went nuts about it for a while zsdxfgh. That was very fun too!<3

[disaster-fruit]

could you tell us more about the brarg family au with the 3 babies and trans luci?

I definitely can! This au has been living rent free in my head since i started that drawing and I was actually sketching more stuff for the AU right before I got this ask so- I definitely can ramble more about it

This was supposed to be just a collection of a few hcs and now it’s a multi-pages word document the size of a fanfic so – Im really sorry.

I didn’t think a lot about their backstories tbh, though I have it in my mind that Luciano transition in his late teens and that he and martin either met after that or knew each other before luciano came out, lost all contact, and then met again after (and you can blame oxiosas fic for that yeah im not even subtle)

But I imagine them having some sort of meet cute and kinda progressing really fast in their relationship without realizing – yk, its just a fling, no big deal, yeah ive met his parents, yes I basically spend every weekend in his apartment, yeah I have a spare key now, ops I guess we’re adopting dogs and plants together- oh I think we’re married. Yeah. We’re married.

Ok but for real Luci does the proper proposal-with-a-ring-and-knelt-down-on-a-special-day thing and Martin is just bright red saying yes over and over again

It is Afonso (port) the first to be all WHERE ARE MY GRANDCHILDREN like… the night of their wedding.

They live in a house in a not too big city with two dogs, one cat, one parrot and all the birds that Luciano feeds and names that aren’t actually theirs. Still, they choose the house with two spare rooms because they always talked about having two kids.

In this AU they can buy a nice house and don’t have to worry about money and can raise kids like the world isn’t ending.

I think right after they got married they got in line for adoption. However, everything indicated that it would take a long long time so they started talking about the possibility of trying to have a biological kid. I think luci was the one to suggest it when he noticed martin had been thinking about it but not saying anything for a while.

Lots of boring doctor visits and confused doctors looking at luciano and trying to process it like the dumb cishets they are. Boring exams and all that, but everything is on track eventually, luci pauses his hrt and keeps his jockstrap on the drawer and they’re googling the best positions for fertility on those weird cishet sites and doing it like bunnies etc etc

Getting pregnant the natural way after years of testosterone is not the easiest thing in the world, so it takes a while. But eventually it works.

Both of them are kinda freaking out with this whole first pregnancy thing. Martin is the ultimate protective husband, and spends way too much time on the internet finding out what luciano can and can’t eat, what exercises he should do, and going to every single doctor visit. He’s very committed to it.

Luciano has to drink non-alcoholic beer and hates life. There’s a single teardrop shed every time he buys it. And drinks a lot of lemonade like it’s the same as caipirinha. Poor guy. Martin doesn’t help on that, life isn’t fair, he buys his own beer.

But he also has to drive absurd lengths to find the weirdest fruit or make the most hideous, blasphemous pizza toppings because Luciano is constantly craving absurd shit. But poor baby actually really NEEDS that chicken M&M pizza at 8am.

They’re super proud daddies though, and both their instagrams at this point are just baby belly pictures. Luci had top surgery on this au on my hc so also. Lots of shirtless pics. He looks like an old uncle with a beer belly and he’s PROUD. Just. Baby bellies all over.

Martin picks the entire baby layette. Because of course he does.

Their baby shower is a huge deal though. Their dads are there, Antonio brings an entire trunk filled with diapers and tells everyone how many tincho used to need when he was a baby, Afonso is cooking for everyone and talking about how he’s gonna be a grandfather (!!!). Iracema (pindorama) is scolding Luci about his bad habits while also quietly being a super proud grandma. Zola (angola) bought toys because she knows that’s what kids actually like, Samero (Mozão) keeps asking if they installed all the necessary security stuff in their house – we will, chill, we still have some months to go – Vera (Tomé) is teasing Simão (Timor) about him no longer being the family baby, Fatima (g.bissau) is another one who bought a huge amount of diapers, Rosinha (cabo verde) is taking pictures of everyone and everything, Sebas and Dani are discussing if the kid should speak Portuguese or Spanish, Maria brought a huge pink plushy as a gift, it’s quite a party.

Once they’re late in the pregnancy, Luciano mostly spends his time on Martin’s oversized t-shirts asking for foot rubs and not getting much sleep because the baby keeps moving. Martin on the other hand is a little nervous about being a dad, but absolutely loves feeling the little kicks and talking to the baby all the time, except when its 3am and he wants to sleep but Luci cant because of it so he just does his best to keep him company. He mostly ends up falling asleep on his chest though and doesn’t help much

I wrote all of this but I still don’t have a name for the girl lol Anyway, she’s finally born, and if martin was overprotective when Luciano was pregnant, he’s ten times more with his baby girl. Tbh theyre both kinda going crazy with this whole parenting thing, both are overprotective, tired, and have no idea what theyre doing.

Zola and Sebastian are the girl’s godparents. Sebastian isn’t very good with kids so when he takes care of his niece he either puts on a tv show and lets her eat whatever crap she wants, or relies on Daniel to do the actual taking care, since he is good with kids.

Luciano and Martin are very much neurotic first-timers and have all this schedule of what their girl can eat and when and when she has to sleep etc etc.

When Zola takes care of her, she just ignores it and does it her way. She helped raised Luci since he was a baby anyway, he survived just fine and even married and reproduced, she knows what to do better than both the dumbasses, and they never even find out.

Afonso on the other had follows everything when he’s with his granddaughter, determined to be a better grandfather than he was a father, and the baby loves him so he’s doing a good job.

They’re a very cute family yes yes

She grows up well and happy, a bit shy maybe but very smart and sweet, loves the dogs and her aunts and uncles and granddads (afonso more than antonio though)

By the way, Iracema is soft like butter with her granddaughter.

When she’s about four or five years old they start talking about having a second one, considering the age difference and all. So back to doctors, Luci stops the hrt again and they go back to trying, but again it’s not the easiest thing in the world to do it naturally after years of hrt.

But god listens to the prayers of such good catholic family, and right after they start thinking about a second child, they receive the news they will finally get to adopt a baby.

Luciano is the one to receive the news, he’s working at home when the social worker comes to tell him they can finally adopt. He’s extremely happy, he hugs the poor lady and is barely able to concentrate as she explains the paperwork that is left and the details of it because he can’t stop smiling.

He immediately texts martin saying something like “CALL ME RIGHT NOW WE NEED TO TALK” and it’s in happy caps but martin understands it wrong and thinks someone is dying or dead but then his phone is what dies so he gets home as fast as he can thinking all the worst scenarios just to find luciano jumping on him with a smile for ear to ear. It’s such a shock he takes a while to react but when he does you have two idiots so happy they can’t function.

It’s another girl, she has big brown eyes like her sister and it’s a few months old.

They quickly reassemble the crib and paint the second room to get everything ready in time to take her home, and the next week or so it’s nothing but all the family visiting to meet their new baby.

Since they managed to adopt, they decided to stop trying to have another kid. Luciano goes back to the doctor do some routine exams so that he can go back to testosterone and the doctor just awkwardly explains that, well, that won’t be exactly possible. Not for the next eight months, at least.

He’s quite shocked at that, and takes him a while to tell martin. They just got a new baby and do they even have space to raise three kids? Eventually it just escapes from him and martin is shocked as well, but ultimately both of them are just worried about their place being too small, and once they relax about that they can’t shut up about having another baby on the way to anyone.

Still, it’s not easy to manage, martin is just as worried as he was with their eldest, except that this time he’s simultaneously worried about their new baby and about Luci’s pregnancy. Poor dude needs a break asap. So he’s trying to do most of the work of caring for a little baby to spare luciano from the stress, while also taking care of him as well as he did the other time.

Luci is more chill about being pregnant, he’s done this before, he’s fine. He’s even a little too chill about it, as shown in the art, he still wants to carry their kid on his shoulder and having a few sips of martin’s beer is no big deal and honestly he’s fine, he can help with the baby, and Tincho just needs to relax and it will all be fine.

Again, poor tincho needs a break.

Some things don’t change though. Them being super proud daddies who do nothing but take pictures of their kids and Luci’s belly every chance they get. And they’re really happy and excited to have their house full and this big family.

Just a good cute family AU where nothing bad ever happens thank you very much.  Yet it took me almost 2k words to say it. I have no self control and I’m very sorry. However, if anyone has their own hcs to add about this whole au, I will be more than happy to hear and talk about this AU even more than I’ve already done.

[kazuwhora]

hiiiii this is my first time requesting a match up ever since i went in to the world of tokyo revengers and so for that matter; can u write me a matchup with any tokyo revengers characters esp the bonten executives since ehemm most of them are of legal age???? 💗💗

hi my name is kaye and i'm a she. my personality type is INFJ, gemini, i am more of a depth person with huge bags under eyes, 23 and currently a tired college student who seeks refuge from fanfics and books and animes and kdramas.

i'm a bit morena, same skin color as that of moana and raya with brown eyes and short hair. my hobbies are probably over sleeping and reading books under a dim light and dancing to carpenters songs on sunday morning. im an education major (i suck at this course of mine)

the type of partner that i like is uhmmm, how do i say this one, a little bit chaotic but warm, clingy and street smart or book smart (either is fine though) idc if he's a working student and or rich bc the only thing i want is reaasurance from them if we ever get in to relationship. and i hate it if they become too nosy that it becomes unnecesary already. im okay with living together with them but i hate it if they don't trim their toenails. im a huge admirer of clean toenails since i happen to have clean toenails as well and its going to be a huge turn off for me if he has an untidy nails. and about the clingy, i like the clingy kind that is a little bit into squeezing my butt or laying on my valleys as we cuddle for a sunday movie marathon loves to kiss and a little bit pervy

pls do the matchup in nsfw. i'm of legal age, 23 already a species from 98 liners haha and for the type of nsfw, can you write it in a fluff, soft yet kinky way?? bc i've never been in a proper relationship before and my first 1st bf that i had at the age of 20 was a total bullshit so im kind of craving this type of relationship 😭😭

if your request is still open, i hope u consider my request!!! thanks a bunch lovely earthlingggggg 🦋

hi hi thank you for requesting! in my announcement I mentioned I'm only doing sfw for this time around because I have so many requests to get to so I hope thats ok with you and I hope you understand 💜

im going to match you up with Koko!

im gonna be honest theres not a lot of people in bonten that I feel really match what you need from a partner other than koko LOL. like really, koko is DEF a clean man. like this man probably has a 12 step skincare routine that he does every night and I can definitely seeing him sitting in the middle of a meeting filing his damn fingernails like boy pay attention would you?

the thing about koko that I think is valuable in your relationship is his loyalty and attachment to you. it's not that he's clingy, because he finds himself too scared to show any signs of clinginess (given his past) but he definitely has an unspoken connection to you that keeps him close and his mind on you at all times. everything he does has you in consideration, every move or decision he makes, you're the first thing he thinks about. you and your safety.

I wouldn't say that koko is street smart, though he knows how to get out of danger and protect himself, I would say he's easily more book smart than anything in terms of intelligence. this makes for intellectually stimulating conversations, ones that seem easy and natural to the both of you.

[sunlightandsuffering]

since we're talking about those extra pages man am I not over it. I'm tired of being made to feel like a bad person for not liking the idea of her being stuck with an NPC like Historia was (don't even get me started because I hate it sm) or Jean whom I love sm and he really doesn't deserve a life of being Mikasa's second choice. I like to think she adopts a few kids from the orphanage. I don't think she'd really explore the Azumabito side of her because she made it clear she's not interested in that side of her. I just think it would've been so sweet and beautiful if she took in orphaned babies. and I want Mikasa to be happy but really even if she did love again, no one is going to be Eren. the husband would have to be okay with being cucked by a ghost for the rest of his life and where's the dignity in that? yeah if she truly moved on good for her and I would love for her to find that kind of happiness again but genuinely speaking from life experience, every love will be less after that. no one is going to be the boy that murderered for her before he even knew what she looked like or sacrificed himself so that she could live that peaceful life she wanted. I know some people say that it happens but honestly some people just don't love like that again. and I just feel like yams just stuck that there to show that despite moving on, she still loved Eren to her grave. but I think that's kinda messed up for the husband. anyway Mikasa adopting orphans forever. sorry for this massive rant. I'm just so frustrated with this take that not wanting to see my girl settle for less makes me a horrible or immature person. because it's not fulfilling for anyone to see her end up with some faceless dude or even Jean when she showed NO interest. her marrying him would only happen if Eren died and come on. anyway I'm going in circles again lol. it feels good to just let it out.

THANK YOU!!! SEE THIS IS WHAT I WAS LOOKING FOR WHEN THE LEAKS CAME OUT 😭😭😭 kin omg, let it out man, idk why this take was so big, like I really CAN'T understand it. but boy was it popular and irritating as hell jfc. I like orphanage Mikasa 🥺🥺, thats the best girl, like she totally would, its a good combo. Gives her something to focus on other than Eren, something productive, but also it's not too emotionally draining ya know, she's not expected to give herself wholly to another person, she's just taking care of kiddos, like Carla did with her, doing her part to give back. Kids are easy to love and she wouldn't feel like she's betraying Eren, bc srsly if I as a fanfic writer was to delve into Mikasa's emotional trauma of even ATTEMPTING to love another person after Eren, it would not be pretty I can name like 6 different emotions and write an entire prose about how supremely the whole idea would fuck with her before she could even considering loving someone else.

But also think maybe our girl would be trying to stop some human trafficking, like she is still a fucking badass on the side, and she's righteous as hell, she'd totally kick some ass and be a dark knight, taking down crime rings and the works bc she was almost trafficked. Which is a whole other trauma not explored that much.

U ARE VALIDATED THO BOO, I FEEL EXACTLY THE SAME!!!! 👏🏻👏🏻