#its very subtext is for cowards if you Know

[elysiadragonart]

[dol-dee]

Based on my temple designs or.. my own legally distinct religious faction

An expertly crafted Nun or Monk habit, the attire representative of the local faith. What you initially mistook for simple gold trim turns out to be intricately stitched gold embroidery depicting a chain of eyes. You almost feel like they're staring at you; blinking whenever the fabric shifts and the gold catches the light. It is an old, but pervasive belief of the high-clergy that sight is superfluous to any true believer and that the strength of your conviction alone should suffice as guidance. “True conviction and strength of faith can only be conveyed by the surrender of ones base instincts– The highest, purest form of devotion is blind trust” - The Archbishop

[mrcrawly]

Dr. House is still some of the best autistic representation I've ever seen

I made my initial post a while ago, but I'm finally starting season 4 and I feel just as strongly about this. I did get a little bit of pushback on my initial post so let me be clear: I don't care if you disagree with me! I don't care if you don't think Dr. House is autistic! Do not get into my comments and be condescending about it! I'm autistic and this is my opinion! Make your own post about why you think Dr. House is neurotypical and leave me alone!

Disregard for social cues or normalities. I'm really driving this one home because every time I watch this show it shocks me how much he's like me. Not necessarily even because he's an asshole, but because he's just weird. This is old news, but he has an entire conversation with Wilson about how he's not good with first dates and conversations because either the topic of conversation is boring, or there's subtext, and to understand the subtext you need "a decoder ring." Hm yes very neurotypical thing to say. He doesn't have much sense of boundaries or privacy, and regularly embarrasses Wilson or will discuss something gross with Cuddy while someone else is around. He also says pretty gross things in public and in inappropriate situations, even if just to be funny. Some of this is just generally him being an asshole, but I think some of this is genuinely a lack of understanding in how to interact with people. Sometimes he just plainly doesn't respond when asked a question or spoken to when he doesn't know what to say or doesn't want to speak.

Strong sense of justice and morality. I mention this a little in my initial post, but I don't remember if it was its own point. House gets angry when people endanger his patients, and will get angry at anyone, no matter who, if their decision hurts his patient. When Wilson was too afraid to put his foot down and insist that the family accept House's treatment in "Family," he gets pissed off at Wilson and tells him he's a "coward." He apologizes for this after because it was uncalled for, and Wilson's intentions were good, but nevertheless he was right. This is not me saying that House is a particularly moral individual. If you took a shot every time he violated very basic ethical principles you would die of alcohol poisoning before you reached the second season of the show. But House's concern is his patient's life. In his mind, if his actions save his patient's life, it is ultimately moral. When his team fucks up and risks their patient, he gets pissed off and will humiliate them so they understand the gravity of their mistake.

Specific and niche interests. I mention in my initial post that he has very few interests (mostly General Hospital and his job), but since the first couple seasons I've gotten more a feel for his love of music. He owns live recordings of Elvis on vinyl. He owns more than one guitar (from what I saw of his apartment). Music is kind of his thing. To take that a little further, it seems like he collects things. This is by no means necessarily an autistic trait, but collecting is very common with autistic people who have special interests. I collect Spiderman merchandise, for example.

Resistant to change. I don't think I'd seen the episode yet, but after he's shot at the end of season 2, he insists that the carpet that's been stained with his blood is kept. He goes as far as to annoy everyone incessantly in order to get his carpet back. House is also just generally the kind of person who wants things exactly how he wants them. He doesn't like people messing with his things or for his environment to change, even when the inconvenience is simple and ultimately unimportant. In the last episode of season 3, Wilson says this pretty plainly. House has played the same guitar since eighth grade, driven the same car for ten years, and been living in the same place for fifteen. Change just isn't his thing. It's often hard for autistic people to adapt to significant changes because of the way they process information. Change is overwhelming.

Observant and analytical. When Wilson starts yawning, he doesn't just write this off or explain it, he immediately starts considering every possible reason and deducing why he's yawning. House likes puzzles, and symptomology is his thing. He also definitely violated Wilson's trust by spiking his coffee with amphetamines, but he did so based on a line of logic and reason. This isn't necessarily an autistic characteristic, but it is fairly common among some autistic people to view a course of action or event through the lense of logic rather than considering the emotional consequences. I do this a lot. House is also especially blunt and almost excessively honest. He does lie (obviously), but when it really matters to be honest he will be, and he won't mince his words for people's comfort. This is going back to differences in how he experiences empathy.

This post is honestly probably boring, because I'm really just driving my initial points home. Again, I don't really think that House MD discusses autism in the most meaningful or accurate way, but House feels more authentic to me than actual, intentional autistic representation. Also, some of these things can be attributed to depression or House's problems with attachment; this is just my perspective on some things.

[white-collar-cannibal]

people have posted about this before but my personal definitive Should GL!Niki Have A Gun opinion is literally only if it is a gun so big the recoil causes serious physical damage.

i would characterize any showfall survivor as being caught between the desires to keep themselves and those they care about safe, and to not replicate the same violent actions that traumatized them in the first place — but i also think glniki has the added confoundment of wanting to prove her own capability (both in general and for harm) given how it was denied to her in her portrayals at showfall. in particular i think she would be the one most likely to experience the oh my god i'm continuing the cycle of violence anxiety and respond by leaning in to violence rather than away out of paranoia of seeming overly "nice." is this good for her? very not. but i think it would be interesting i think it would be compelling for her to, yes, have a gun and also to be bad at it, or for it to harm her since it complicates her white-whale quest to never be vulnerable again (not canon but you can get here from there)

her ass is nottt ever using a revolver. small concealable firearms are 100% showfall's go-to and i know they've had this girl do russian roulette before. i don't think this is specific to her; given showfall's scavenger characterization it doesn't make sense for them to use the carousel crew as one-off actors, and i don't expect showfall to be shy w/ gun violence given its role in modern media. if anyone is using a pistol it's glcharlie who i characterize as most sensitized to showfall's whole shit due to being there the longest (child actor theory: personal theory w/ moderate word-of-god canonization/support)

if the gun physically damages you to use it it makes a Statement about the cycle of violence. when you attempt to carve weakness out of your body it harms you. i know writers who use subtext and they're all cowards.

not to be a lesbian but holy shit oh my god could you imagine:

[coredrill]

this post is not abt bravern but it Is abt my Bravern Feelings

i miss this show so much already SOBS. i did enlist another g roup of irl friends to watch it w me though and we are starting tomorrow so yay :] and also beware the rewatch posts

[guy who has said that i'm glad i watched this live every week voice] i'm rly glad i watched this live, but this time its bc. i think there is something so truly and genuinely special abt the way that the theories abt bravern himself evolved week to week.........like at first everyone was like Well maybe he's an evil alien who is gonna Kill isami. and then everyone was like Well maybe he's a death drive and isami is his lulu. and THEN everyone was like Well there's still some knuth in there so. but none of that was the case!!! none of that was true!!! it was literally just this one guy and all of the love he has and Absolutely Sucks Shit at expressing!!!!!!! and i just. idk. that hits me rly hard that maybe it was percieved as sinister at first just cause it was a little Off but in the end it was something really really sweet :] it also just feels like yet another way of the show doing its "we know audiences aren't willing to accept optimism at face value these days" schtick like they mentioned in that one interview and just. showing how bravern himself evolves in the eyes of the viewer. it's rly special to me :]

i know bravern speaking german in ep2 was a nod to the translator he uses on superbia later but. what if someone loved you so much they became german (if i ever mention kyouji again in a bravern context just fucking shoot me)

WILD to watch the finale and then see the isami hate train take off FKSJDHFJ cause i feel like i adored him so much in that ep LMAO. my guy really felt every emotion known to man in the span of 22 minutes and then started makin gup new ones. he's very human!!! and i love that abt him!!!!

although some takes. i'm ngl. i know we joke abt subtext and cowards but it becomes less funny when the subtext that is there is missed LMAO

sorry to keep bringing up ep4 but i think its SO interesting how like. the way that bravern seems to helps isami out emotionally in that ep actually ends up not helping him in the long run aswell? like getting to know all those ppl care abt him is good ofc but it also feeds Directly into his hangups in ep5. and i remember being a little confused as to Why that was the case on first watch cause ep4 was So abt his beef w lulu (FLSDKJFH) but w the smith being a human again thing in the end it makes. so much more sense!!!!! i can't wait to rewatch the show w it still fresh in my mind and find even more!!!!!!

and omg the beef with lulu. literally nothing is funnier to me than "we are gonna have one Rival Fight in this show and that position is gonna be filled by isami and smith's fucking KID" SOBS. LIKE. it kills me FKSLDJFHL. though i will say again that i think it is So fucking special that in ep10 lulu specifically calls out isami taking care of her after smith dies and it apparently happens to such a degree that like. he is worth her time traveling back to save independently aswell? even though there was no way that he "took care of her" for more than a couple days? which i think just says so much abt isami in the sense that like. at no point before ep6-7ish in his arc would he have even entertained that idea. uwu

i think i said this before but ikd if i included the screenshot but. the fact that while bravern is dying he sees THAT SAME FUCKING PICTURE is just evidence that men do not take enough photos i think

there is literally Nothing more onbrand for bravern than the fucking. "ep13 abema listing" (if anyone who has not heard abt that sees this. it was just a rebroadcast of ep12 mislabeled) sending everyone into a tizzy regarding like. Secret Episode Question Mark except half of everyone being convinced its an april fools joke and the other half being convinced that the april fools joke is that we didn't expect it. and then it turns out to not be interntional atall and the real april fools joke is Fry Pan. SOBS

Crunchyroll I Am Begging You If You Dub This Please Dub The Songs Too Oh My God (<- delusional)

anyways!!!!!!!!!!! again i know recency bias is the killa but god. i really loved this show a lot!!!! it might be an alltime fave story for me in general!!!!!! even if it's not it was a really special experiance and story on the whole and i'm just really really happy i get to carry it in my heart forever :]

[system-of-a-feather]

Also a lil more elaboration on this post from the OG guy in the system who talks this shit but it's also important to know when adopting radical self acceptance is that being a fucking idiot and a coward and crap literally has no inherent "oh Im a good or bad or cool or lame" person on it's own

Literally everyone is stupid in their own way and literally everyone has the things they are scared to deal with and face from time to time. I'm a part very dissociated from the concept of fear and my brain converts it fast to other shit, but I do fear letting myself down - both as a part and as a part ofba system - and doing harm by the few I deeply respect; momentarily I am prone to being scared of having my shit taken - trauma crap

That shits literally normal, being scared of shit is literally a completely normal and natural thing across almost all animal species (some argue all). There is no personal judgement attached to literally any feeling on its own.

The difference is whether you can look at that feeling and say "damn I'm scared and that a sucks ass feeling" and actually accept, address and deal with that feeling - or if you are going to deny-deny-deny.

And that isn't to say "Oh you are a stupid coward for wanting to deny it" because again, it is OK to admit you are scared and not ready to deal with something. That takes huge fucking balls to admit. If you aren't ready to deal with it, cool man that's fine, but do take a moment to actually affirm that with yourself - that CURRENTLY in the moment you are not ready to deal with it.

That is not "running away from it like a coward" that is acknowledging the truth of your current state and leaving space for it.

If you can get comfortable admitting that you are too scared to do something right now, you are inherently - in subtext - letting yourself know that 1) you accept that you are scared and it is a real thing about you that you are willing to embrace but also 2) that as much as that is a truth of your current state, that it is just that - a current state.

There literally is no shame or inherent judgement to be found in a feeling alone. Feelings alone don't mean shit. Feelings alone LITERALLY don't mean SHIT. It's how you handle and act in regards to them both internallyvwith yourself and externally with others that determines if you are being cringe (derogatory) or cringe (affectionate) and sorry not sorry, every action you do there will be someone who thinks you are cringe so theres no escaping being cringe WHILE being your authentic self.

Anyways, building radical self acceptance is a hard thing to do so I got mad respects for anyone building it. Most of the system doesn't get it yet either and so I get how hard it is and all.

I actively basically bully and harrass Riku about it 24/7 7 days a week 52 weeks a year for the past 3 years until they get it into their dumb skull. And while I call them a fuckin dumbass, I am pretty proud of how casually and readily they have learned to admit when they are being "a coward" which is easier verbage for them than outright saying "scared" which I'll take.

But honestly, get in touch with your vulnerable "not cool" parts of yourself that you are embarrassed about and just get used to stating it as it is. Those vulnerable and embarrassing aspects are only as embarrassing and insecure as you let them be. If you hide them and try to keep people from seeing it, of course you are going to feel scared to let others see it, of course you are going to feel insecure, and of course you aren't going to be confident when anything relating that comes up out of fear of your insecurity showing.

It's self assassination honestly. Judging your emotions and internal experiences like they mean anything other than a reflection of your current self and what you need us just not productive.

But I digress. Its a complicated and difficult thing to build and work on and itll always be more nuanced and specific to the individual than I can ever chart out in a casual ramble on some of my life philosophies and principles on shit.

So take home message? Try to stop judging your feelings and just, ya know, have them. They may suck but its just how it is in the moment and the moment can always change.

[arundolyn]

ok now i need the boothill lore dump. i played star rail for a month on release but quit due to not being all that invested in the story and not wanting to sell my soul to another gacha game. go hog wild, i like listening to ppl talk about their favs🤠 -🍵

no literally i get it i had like negative a billion interest in hsr and then boothill happened. literally started playing the game Solely cause of him and turns out i really like the combat. many such cases. i was won over by his cowboyish ways

autism trap card below the cut cause i know its not gonna be brief lmao

so he was orphaned as an infant on a planet called aeragan-epharshel and found and subsequently raised by two men named nick and graey alongside an undisclosed number of siblings who were presumably adopted in much the same way. gay dad subtext. very normal about this good for them tbh. he learned Cowboy Things like tending to livestock and riding horses and hunting (important) andall that, and eventually wound up finding an orphaned infant much the same way he was left and so he took her in and started raising her to pay it forward in a sense

not too long after this the interastral peace corporation or ipc (general plot antagonists, because you knowwwwww in a sci fi setting some bitches that have "peace" somewhere in the name are really anything but) ended up finding and making contact with this planet cause it had some resources they wanted or whatever the hell. nobody wanted to cooperate with them about it and resistance ensued and tldr since they cared about the planets resources and not remotely the people on it once it was too much trouble to keep fighting the ipc kinda just nuked half the planet. boothill had gone undercover to see what the ipc's plan was and basically returned home to everything already razed and gone. (his daughter was probably like 1-2 at most since they make a point of saying she'd basically just learned how to walk, also people fixate on the daughter thing really really hard in a way i find lame cause they end up ignoring he lost the entire rest of his family And planet but WHATEVER). any survivors were detained in a strikingly similar way to how native americans were displaced and restricted to reservations they were allotted by white people on their own land but Oh You Know (cowards don't talk about this)

from that point on boothill had left the planet and was bound and determined to get in the ipc's way as much as one guy possibly could and also kill the guy who had ordered his home destroyed. at some point down the line he realized having a human body was kinda a hindrance and held a doctor at gunpoint to do cyborg surgery on him, which apparently kills most patients that try to get that procedure but he's just built different. this is about the same time as he started going by boothill because he pretty much decided whoever he used to be died with his family and planet so it was irrelevant. why would he keep the name his dads gave him if he didn't even keep the body he protected his loved ones with type beat. pretty metal of him actually pun intended

also fun fact he can't swear. presumably he could post cyborgification at least at first but at some point his built in google translate started censoring every time he tries to swear and that's why he says silly shit. unironically the funniest in universe explanation for why a game ratings wise can't just let a guy run around and say fuck. 11/10 plot contrivance actually

as you can see. Normal about him. Freakish individual

[fugazitn]

#3

I find it somewhat relaxing to be able to write long form into the ether. I think I initially liked that twitter mostly had texts causing the greatest stir in comparison to photos or videos which also did well on the app but my perception was that wit was enough to get eyes on your work but I still don't have the answer to that, I feel that AI bots, obvious rage inducing posts, and bad faith arguments are truly a poison to the body, soul, and mind. I could write in a journal which I have done for a number of years but I can't think of a reason to not put it out on this site instead. I have had 2 main thoughts that have been battling inside my head since I have been ill. Working on a short story that I feel could be compelling and the disasterous effects that winng a tournament has had on me. So I have been pondering the subtext of a story and was wondering the proper way to grow one. have an idea that I'm not sure I should put somewhere public becasue its the first time I've thought like this. It is a very basic premise but it is contorted in a way that I think should haunt the reader. I continually think of stories that have had profound effects on me. The grandiose feeling of having my life scralled out in pages by someone that has never known me connects me to the rest of humanity. I actually wasn't alone when I was at my lowest. I need that. I will be reading more to build up that phantom communal reinforcement to keep myself strong enough to hold many burdens whilfe facing the world. I will write an outline about it elsewhere because I'd hate to spoil you all of the bliss my work would provide because I would write it knowing the beginning and the ending to ensure the quality of the message. Which hopefully foreshadows my point in the next part. I won but for what? I won proving to myself that I was right that I could overcome the order of being the strongest player at the venue for a night. I won so every tilted night of frustation, every god awful interaction against better chacracters, every night I scrapped my entire gameplan and rebuild it with a new objective in mind had new value, a estimate that it was all worth it because I had accomplished what I had set out to do. I'm happy I did it. I'm proud that I wasn't a liar or a fraud which to say I put myself in the arena where I wanted to proclaim loudly and proudly: This is my game, I play it to become the victor and you are not stronger than I. No one can take this from me no matter what the circumstances. I can lose every game ever from this point on but you can't take away my triumph. I somewhat loss the abilty to enjoy fighting games casually it feels and that doesn't even mean that I need to play to win another tournament. I was called to win in sf6 with my favoriter character, It was a high among highs to someone like me. I had to do it with her or else I would've always wanted to. I was a contadiction in a way where I didn't want to work harder than others because as a competitor why would you stack the deck against yourself but then I couldn't back out with a character I loved. This is one of my many frictions that held me back. Any inconsistency in the headwinds can drag you further back than a focused but flawed mind. I can see all my opponent personalities in their playstyles but I saw that many tournaments ago which I think is why many may say that I have excellent reading potential for my foes. My mind is very free and I open to you beinf your worst because not many will fight me in my strong suit. While I have mamy thoughts I could puke onto this I must admit i'm losing the plot. Which is to say, if I lost would it have been for nothing? That's what it felt like not winning. Which has to be the most dangerous focal point to gave while competiting. There is definite meaning in sharpening your craft but to be chained to it in such a way made me resent it but I couldn't run from it all the same. A coward is one who never tries but I think the same could be for me who all I did was try. 1/2

[flowerdisc4]

Longpost. Watching Mario movie and need to get this out.

Autism ahead.

MANN IM SO SICK OF THIS AUHGGGHH!!! aighHHh!!

I hate the voice for Mario. 0/10 that's not My Mario. Luigi's voice was fine. BUT HIS PERSONALITY

What have you done to my Luigi. My poor boy.

THE OPENING SEQUENCE WITH THE STUPJD DOG. Dogs don't act like that a dog would NEVER AUGGH NOT EVEN EXAGGERATING FOR COMEDIC EFFECT IM SO DONE

Just creating non problems for the main cast to have Conflict is my biggest pet peeve !!

I get it its """funny"". It would've been funnier if the dog wasn't even menacing and Luigi was just THAT scared of a harmless dog he panics and messes up

LIKE THATD BE FUNNY!! BUT NO. No we have weirdly sentient dog mess it up.

I will admit. I liked the family scene, it was done pretty well imo.

How they discover the magic pipe is, kinda fun. Don't remember if they resolve the Water Crisis later or not, but I'll see !!

(Typing this as I watch, btw. Live posting, but on tumble)

The Between when they're going through the pipe... confuses me? Why did they end up in two different places if they went through the same pipe. Mario logic isn't logicing!!

It would've been better if they went through different pipes.

I LOVEEE THE MUSHROOM KINGDOM THo i love how beautiful and inviting they made it.

Wish they weren't a coward and used toads real voice, but hey, the one they did wasn't that bad?? And got across the point while not being annoying (imo)

The dry bones bit was fun, and I like how the darklands trees are square like and windy

Is.. hitting golden blocks like. Toads jobs??

Love the platforming in mushroom kingdom. Really silly and cute, love the references.

Princess peach is where I'm going to judge the hardest. She is my bugaboo wifey.

I like how she's portrayed as powerful. I wish they utilized her power more.

LOVE that she woops Mario's ass immediately.

I also like that she's got a rapunzel like personality? Immediately can tell she's been sheltered and same girly same

The obstacle course is a really fun bit, however, feels very drawn out and like we could've gotten more screentime doing other things than watching Mario boyfail again and again. There's a lot at stake and they're just... doing this. Can't he learn on the job???

Mario hating mushroom bit bad. Maybe they could've executed it better?? Idk just felt like a haha wouldn't it be funny if rather than an interesting character trait

If I hear I Need a Hero used in any context that isn't Shrek 2 ever again I'm exploding.

I like how they animated Mario's denim.

LOVINg how awkward peach is with social interaction she's actually me fr.

LOVEEE jack blacks character voice for bowser!!! Works really really well for his personality!!

I wish Mario had more personality than Typical Main Character of the Post 2010s era.

Fire flower field is suuuper cute I can't lie, plus I like peaches backstory !! I wish we understood WHY they crowned her princess tho...

GAY BOWISI SCENE AY BOWUIGI SCENE !!! Why did they make it. SO. SENSUAL.

Mixed feelings on the doomstar, probably wishing it was written better and had a Lil more impact than doomsday Debbie downer that sounds Cutie

The Kong Kart thing is like. Really cool actually. There's lives at stake but hey, take on me is playing it's time for a fun montage anyway

Wishing Kong Country had more military significance tho with how they ralk about their army, idk

The colloseum is a really fun idea tho. Love a good gladiator motif.

Dk and Mario acting kind of... kind of.......... kind of....... some fruity scents coming from the subtext

It's giving repressed homosexuality with DK

THEY KNOW WHEN BOWSWER'S ARRIVING?? THEN?? WHY?? ALL THE LOLLYGAGGIJG !!

The Mario Kart scenes are so fun. I have to admit that.

Where. Does each side keep getting information so fast. There needs to be just like, one character that explains that. A traitor or something cmon

BACK WITH THE HATE !! HATING THE CONSTANT IMPLICATIONS MARIO AND PEACH ARE FLIRTING !!!

From bowswers pov I understand. He's toxic and insecure.

But everyone else??? It gets !! Really annoying !!

My girl peach rejecting them both at the end of oddesy.

DK CATCHING MARIO WITH HIS KART??? HELLOOO?? GET MARRIEEdd??

OKAY THIS IS A PART IM MAD ABOUT. PEACH WOULDVE DONE EVERYTHING TO SAVE MARIO FUCKYOUFUCKYOU SHE WOULDVE ATLEAST TRIIIIIED

Not.not Jonah and the whale nOOOOOOOO

PECAH COULDVE USED HER WATER ATTACHMENT ABBIT AGO HUHHH HUHUHUH

I guess. She needed to warn her people. Or whatever

I like that most of the toads have sheep mentality. It's very interesting to me

Bowswers delulu ass is so funny to me

I don't like how damsel Luigi is. He's capable of things too!! Fuck you !!

NOT THE DK MARIO BEING GAY AGAIN?? hello?? They're so much gayer than I remember ??

ICE PEACH ♡♡♡

Dk and Mario having more chemistry than a vinegar and baking soda

The music tries too hard to add motifs and it ends up sounding oddly forced.

Damn can't believe they killed Luigi (comedic lie)

NOT THE BULLET BILL NUKE??? hELPPP ???

What Has Mario Done.

[castlebyersafterdark]

perhaps you don't want to speak about mike x el here, but as a gay man in the fandom, can you speak a little on your opinion of how that relationship was set up and played out? was it expected for you as a het relationship, did you find it intriguing or cliche, sweet or boring before byler became clearer? after you started realising byler was a real possibility, what did you think of mike x el in retrospect both in the show and for the show as a work of art in modern culture?

+ sometimes when i've seen takes defending queer stories against anti-woke people, some folk have even said that queer people have been 'putting up with' straight stories for decades and are just as sickened by them as homophobes are with queer stories. i'm interested if this is a defensive slap back or an actual truth for many people. do you enjoy a heterosexual love story in the right context? do you think how they are handling this specific love triangle works well as a plot twist and thematic message in ST?

i know its hard to tell cos its open ended but just in terms of where we're at now, i would love a gay man's opinion on this classic trope of superhero girl x 'straight' nerd boy and his gay bestie.

I'm down for talking about anything and everything here! I havent gotten anything yet I won't address haha. Mike/El is an important aspect of the show even if I don't support the ship or want (or think) it will be endgame.

I guess when I first watched the show I was honestly a very casual fan and even though I really liked Mike, the mike/el relationship just seemed like a typical little thing s1/2 and it didn't really mean much to me. Like it was fine, it was minimal and kinda cute I guess? I honestly was pulling for Joyce/Hopper from the beginning because one, Winona is such an icon and part of the draw when I heard about the show. Always loved her. And I had (have) a huge thing for David Harbor so I was really hoping they got together in the show. I guess this answers your question if gay guys care about straight ships - of course we do! At least I do. I care about 'story telling' and I just want more story telling in media that reflects more than just straight love stories. (I was also so shocked and blown away with excitement about Robin's reveal in s3 - tons of love for the gay ladies as well!! It was very exciting when the show added that.) So yes, of course I'm latching onto gay ships in fandom and really pulling for them playing out for real in the media itself. (For another instance, I love Jonathan/Nancy in the actual show, but I only read Jonathan/Steve fics. Just for fun! I don't really 'ship' them. I like the idea but not for the show. If that helps explain my mindset?)

For comparison to another fandom (I've since ditched) - Marvel. I liked SteveBucky because it made sense and the subtext was there, but I knew the MCU are cowards. I liked SteveTony because the dynamic was interesting to read in fic. I liked SteveThor because hot superhero dudes fucking is hot. (Sweet Steve Rogers, what a 🚲 hahaha). And then I liked ClintNatasha because they were in love and should have been together. For me, it's always half storytelling, half fandom fun.

Until season 4 threw me into a tailspin, MikeEl was just... boring and I didn't really care? But what they did with Mike and Will s4 was eye opening and exciting and it'll honestly be a huge disappointment and a deeper conversation about terrible rep and storytelling choices over how they wrote this love triangle if the worst comes to pass. A gay kid's trauma and feelings to prop up this generic and boring and very cliched pair of MikeEl? They aren't a game changer, they aren't really something to root for at this point? I do feel some sort of way knowing the potential for a Byler reveal is considered a plot twist. Wish a gay love story wasn't a shock factor, but society hasn't gotten there yet so, it is what it is unfortunately and this is a major mainstream show so... it is shocking. But I'll feel so proud for them having depicted this amazing story. Really gotta wait and see how they build and reveal season 5. I want to trust them! With a very beautiful slow burn. Otherwise.... so much to unpack.

[sols-wild-ride]

What I saw this month: May 2024(and April)

I will be writing short, paragraph at most, thoughts on movies I saw of the respective month range. This is recapturing "reviews" an old forum I was on back in the day and replicating the similar review style, minus the score system used back in the day. These are less formal reviews and more short thoughts. Unlike the forum in question, I will not give film scores as the minute anyone sees the numbers they will disregard anything that was said previously.

So here is what I saw in April and May:

Civil War - Dir. Alex Garland

I do not know how a film about a 21st century civil war could say nothing and hold no views on the politics that entails. Yet somehow Alex Garland found a way. If you are going to release a politically charged movie in 2024 during a very dark period for the world and refuse to say anything to rock the boat, there is a level of cowardice to that. Dare I say irresponsible. Even if you say its muddied politics are intentional to focus on the one point it does make; journalism is good but ultimately ineffective, is that any better? The film is just a cynical, hollow film that chose the worst time to present itself as meaningful, yet is too cowardly to commit to anything.

Late Night With the Devil - Dir. Colin and Cameron Cairnes

One thing I am a sucker for are films that invoke an older aesthetic. It may be the tale as old as time; don't channel demons to boost the ratings of your failing show. Aside from one minor nitpick for the climax of the film, the script is very tight, tense and fun. This is a film that will be even better on the small screen given the premise. Plus it has some of the most brutal wipe outs I have seen in a horror film in a while.

Furiosa - Dir. George Miller

Funny story with this movie, I saw it with five friends and one of them just bolted once the movie was over and never appeared again. No idea why he did that.

Regardless, this movie was great! I don't think it is on the same level as Fury Road, or Road Warrior, but I could easily put this on par with the OG Mad Max. Like all George Miller films, it is very stunning, well choreographed. Every actor is firing on all cylinders and there are many provocative shots, moments and performences. Highly recommended.

I Saw the TV Glow - Dir. Jane Schoenbrun

This is your brain on Steven Universe.

For real though, there are parts of this movie that I found fascinating. A through line being that when you are young, you will think higher of things from your youth when you are more impressionable. Adding more weight to something that was there during a certain point of your life, bringing to mind Steven Universe and MLP:FiM. I also recognize the trans metaphor in the film, because I know writers who use subtext and they are all cowards. However, the movie is really dour, makes you uncomfortable by design, and just feels longer than it is. In short, I do not want to see this movie again.

With all of this being said, I do not hate this movie, I believe it is worth seeing and I will be interested in Jane's next film.

[latriviata]

Back on my book log bullshit, reading up to the wire in February - actually til half past midnight this morning but who’s counting.

I redid @batmanisagatewaydrug’s bingo card bc I wanted to mark new reads (blue) and rereads (pink) separately in the hope it would look extra bisexual when they overlapped, no bingo yet but I have Plans for most of the squares which is exciting.

as before I post short first reactions to all books on bsky with some highlights of the text, and sometimes lightly edit them here, so these are not mega thoughts.

5 (reread). The Goblin Emperor - Katherine Addison. Ok the thing is. this book is 450+ pages long and I reread it in just over 24 hours. why? well, partly because I have reread it at least half a dozen times in the last decade plus a pile of fic and I have all the names and events straight. BUT ALSO this book is perf, guys, I love it so. There are so many reviews about its quiet unexpected optimism and kindness but also so many of the characters are just wonderful and I love the use of court language. I recommend it so often to so many people.

bingo square: fantasy

6: Bury Your Gays - Chuck Tingle. Always happy to read more of the Greatest Living Author On The Planet (also available on tumblr), and I enjoyed this! The horror level is pretty light at the beginning but amps up quite a lot in the second half, I am familiar enough with LA to know it feels Very LA, and the focus on algorithms is half pulled from the headlines and half given a sf horror twist. Some bits didn’t work so well - two supporting characters get out of a difficult situation at one point with major handwaving - but otoh it does use lack of aroace representation as an actual plot point so I enjoyed that greatly. (I know writers who use subtext and they’re all cowards, etc)

bingo square: horror

7: On Repentance and Repair - Danya Ruttenberg (radr on bsky). I read excerpts from this in the past and finally dived in, it was a quicker/more accessible read than I quite expected tbh. v interesting look at applying frameworks mostly from Maimonides to issues of conflict, social justice and abuse. Still need some more time to chew on parts but I highlighted a lot and recommend it. Favourite parts were on the nuances of forgiveness as a concept and the general lack of obligation to forgive, which is where she diverges most from Maimonides. I appreciated some attention to how even institutions that had been theoretically been applying these frameworks for years have screwed up cases in practice.

bingo square: social justice & activism

8 (reread): The Witness for the Dead - Katherine Addison. First of a series spinning off from The Goblin Emperor and hmm, I truly love this book but I do think TGE is better as a stand-alone and it’s the one I rec more widely. And yet I am definitely glad this is the angle that got the trilogy treatment. Is it bc TGE is just so good as a stand-alone? because detective procedurals (where by nature you see all strata of a society) often work better in a series than political character studies? because if Thara and Iäna don’t kiss in the next book I’m going to throw actual rocks? Idk. Possibly the last one tbh. Anyway I love this whole series it’s great.

9 (reread): The Grief of Stones - Katherine Addison. After finishing Witness I spent most of the rest of the day rereading this one, lol. It was a good time but also an error because I have to wait another two weeks before the final book comes out. My life is v hard but at least I have emotionally charged handholding at the opera, save me emotionally charged handholding at the opera.

bingo square: sequel

10: Network Effect - Martha Wells. I intended to reread/catch up on the whole Murderbot series last year, and then something got in the way when I was a few chapters into this? Anyway, I started it again from the beginning and was glued as usual. I think by book 5 you either like the series’s whole general Thing or not, so I doubt this would change anyone’s mind, but I did think it worked *really* well as the first full novel. Partly because a solid 40% of it is MB bickering with its bot pilot qpp, but also all its other connections paying off. and new non-human characters! yes good.

bingo square: science fiction

January roundup for 2025 reading, feat. @batmanisagatewaydrug’s book bingo! I do these live on bsky so they are purposely short.

1. Doppelganger by Naomi Klein, mostly on conspiracy theories. My favourite chapter was about autism parents but it also covers the surreal feeling of early covid lockdowns, populism, Zionism, anti-Semitism and others. It’s also periodically funnier than I expected.

bingo square: nonfiction

2 (reread). Ballet Shoes - Noel Streatfeild, which I reread after seeing the National Theatre adaptation; it’s still a sweet book but honestly think I preferred the play, the script/actors imbued the minor characters with more personality.

bingo square: published before 1950

3. Rani Choudhury Must Die - Adiba Jaigirdar. I can eat up all of Jaigirdar’s sapphic Dublin rom-coms with a spoon, even if I haven’t yet loved any as much as I loved Hani & Ishu’s Guide To Fake Dating a few years ago. I read this in a day’s commutes and evening and regret nothing. I found the revenge plot in this the least compelling part, which is unfortunate bc it’s the whole middle third (and the story itself admits that it’s kind of a bad idea) but the rivals-to-friends-back-to-rivals-to-girlfriends dynamic is just lovely. Still preferred Hani & Ishu overall, mind.

bingo square: romance novel

4 (reread). Hani & Ishu’s Guide To Fake Dating - Adiba Jaigirdar. My fave! I reread this the following day, I read v quickly and these books are pleasantly light; she’s so good at writing moderate rivalry/hostility that segues into friendship and romance. I love the family plots and the food talk and the untranslated Bengali.

bonus bingo - read & make a recipe

Piri Piri tomato and crispy chickpea salad from the Dirty Vegan book

(I added crispy la vie bacon bits before serving but those weren’t in the recipe, a+ addition tho)

Looking forward to next month and hopefully reading a bit more, I have some more nonfiction lined up and am planning to reread all the Goblin Emperor/Amalo books before the new one comes out in March so that should fill a fair few squares.

[loose-cannon-wrestler]

Okay. It's time. I need to talk about BDSM in pro wrestling.

There's a lot of overlap between the kink community and wrestling. Anyone on this side of tumblr could tell you that.  And so: It bothers me when I see things that are done poorly. Bc for me it's so painfully obvious. It breaks my immersion so quickly. Like, can we get these guys a few classes with professional doms?

MJF needs better whipping form. It hurts to watch. Punk is only a little bit better. Wardlow at least has his shit together. We all saw how he took that belting. He knows what's up.

Hanger needs bondage lessons. We all watched him tie Cole to the ropes with his belt in the Texas Death Match. Cole was holding the rope so the belt wouldn't fall off. (Granted, a belt isn't meant to be a wrist tie, but surely they could've done something better.) Also - get that man his rope back and let the noose or a lasso be part of his gimmick. Cowards.

The BCC has got it down. They've got submission holds on lock. Moxley has done some wrist ties in some older matches and you can tell he knows what he's doing.

This is professional wrestling! It's the very definition of S&M! We all project D/S dynamics and preferences onto these blorbos bc its right there. It's not even subtext. Discipline is pretty straightforward. So I firmly believe they need to step up their bondage game. And if they're gonna do it - DO IT RIGHT. Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.

[spacejellyfish3]

the utena show’s ending is extremely powerful on its own yes but utena’s final apology? to anthy of not being able to be her prince in the end never stuck right with me. and I think that’s cause in a sense it’s still centering the prince as important, as aspirational, that maybe it could have been a better ending for them—that utena could’ve survived if she were her prince. and of course I might be reaching with that possibly probably but I still wanted to air that opinion out (maybe someone else has similar misgivings as I do and can expand on it so there).

but the real problem for me is that show anthy still very much places utena as a savior figure, as her “prince”. while I live for anthy’s savage verbal takedown of akio as a powerless coward trapped in a Sisyphean game of pretend for all eternity but even so she herself is still shown to subscribe to the dogma of the heroic prince. even visually anthy’s idealization of utena is displayed with her dressed in pink. this visual marker is carried over into the movie with anthy’s bridal gown changing from red (which makes sense since anthy is indian coded and an indian bride’s sari is traditionally red) to white and pink, connoting her as utena’s princess.

movie anthy’s placement of utena onto a pedestal of princehood also often extends beyond subtext and into the text itself, a key example being the scene right before utena’s famed car wash makeover where anthy says “you’re the prince of the academy now, every miracle and all eternity is yours…so long as you stay in this world.” anthy believes that you can only exercise power, have power, be happy, be free within the system, and it’s important to note that there is very much truth in that notion but this power I’m referring to is that of self actualization, the power of maturity. yet…utena rejects that noise, she says no, she says fuck that let’s go be free in the outside world.

if the show is about breaking away from the confines of abuse, then the movie is about breaking away from the confines of trauma. it’s extremely powerful when anthy takes the steps out of ohtori; it’s hard even just to find the strength to leave an abusive situation let alone actively do it. but the pain remains, trauma doesn’t disappear it’s haunting it’s ghostly sometimes literally manifesting. both movie utena and anthy are hounded and bound to apparitions they’ve forgotten are actually dead.

touga died years ago sacrificing himself for nothing in the end and became princely an ideal to strive for and utena has to come to grips with that and she basically says no you don’t control me my grief my trauma does not control me thank you for being my prince but I can’t be a prince I don’t want to be it’s not real

anthy is real

I am real

akio is abuse he is torment and toxicity he is anthy’s monster, maybe a monster that she created once upon a time but he chose to perpetuate his monstrosity. and when confronted with his actions he couldn’t face it he hurt her more made it her fault for the hurt he caused her and he died he’s dead he’s gone but he remains in the ground anthy buried him beneath the roses. the rose garden is a prison she is the only one held captive by the roses and it grows up up high up but it’s still there the roses remain he’s still there in her mind and he’ll never leave but he’s not in control. he’s dead, he’s been dead for so long he remains but he’s not real and he’s no prince because the prince was a lie that never existed it’s not real

utena is real

I am real

and they blaze past everything. there are obstacles but there are friends too who aren’t there yet but they’re on the path they’re trying they’re growing they have high goals they want to reach and someday they will but you can now. it’s anthy’s story it’s anthy journey and it’s hard of course it’s hard

but they break free. they break the castle so huge so big so impossible but it wasn’t real

it’s just rose petals flying in the wind

akio doesn’t control her and though it might be so that she and utena can’t make it outside, that they have to continue as princesses stuck in the role that people give them but they don’t have power over them, they’re free and no longer draped in any costume or performance, they’re truth out of her well to shame mankind and that’s fucking awesome. they might not make it, they might fail like the broken down husks of those who came before them, but they can try they’re free to try. they have the power to try. to revolutionize the world. to revolutionize their world.

“the outside world has no roads, but you can always build new roads.”

I binged the entire series and the movie last year around March maybe, sometime right before quarantine…and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it, analyzing it, since. I’m pretty sure it radicalized me and honestly I’m glad it did. revolutionary girl utena speaks truth to power and exists as a creative work in a way that I don’t think anything else has or will. it’s fundamentally itself but simultaneously thrives on external interpretation. it’s both an enigma wrapped in a mystery and as obvious and unsubtle as a trainwreck. above is my favorite quote of the entire franchise because it’s so simple but so profound—you could say it’s my equivalent of “what is grief if not love persevering”.

there are no roads to follow, but you’re open to build your own path your own way. no one defines you but you and that’s simple that’s kinda naive but what’s wrong with that. I’m not sure who originally said this or stated this proverb or whatever, I know I read it somewhere but I’m not sure where, and I’m definitely paraphrasing but

adults are so quick to say the world is unfair and be done with it, but a child would look at that and say: why not make it fair? that’s really simple and it’s innocent of course but it’s still true. why can’t we make things fair, because we definitely could it’s not impossible.

I’m not sure how to end this post—I definitely should cause it’s plenty long already—but rgu is highly foundational to me on a visceral level. it’s helped me in ways shifted me in ways I can’t describe and I can’t really imagine myself now existing without its influence. the best way I could describe its impact its power its importance really boils down to

the outside world has no roads, but you can always build new roads.

words to live by.

[destinygoldenstar]

I am going to, very respectfully, HARD DISAGREE.

TADC is a very show don't tell kind of show. It's also not for kids like MLP is. It trusts its audience to be able to pick up these kinds of things for themselves. Just because they do not explicitly say the character's flaws does not mean they don't have flaws.

Pomni starts off the series as a nihilist. She is very quick to reject her new life and this new world she's found herself in, to the point where she never, in the canon show, calls herself by her own name. We also see in Episode 2 from Pomni's nightmare that she is scared of abstracting, which is this world's version of death. She views herself to be so mentally unstable and so weak minded that she believes she will abstract within the first few days. On top of that, she believes nobody in this world would give a shit about her. She has a detrimentally low self esteem.

AND SHE CALLS THAT NORMAL.

"Feeling like you're nothing is... kinda normal. If people even feel like that in the world I came from."

Now this is NOT a 'her flaw is she doesn't realize how strong she is'. Because Pomni does have to learn from the poor habits that arise from her anxious mindset of both herself and the world.

She makes very selfish decisions. (Which, to be fair, a lot of people forget cause of how sweet and kind she is) When Ragatha is infected with an abstraction and needs her help, what does Pomni do? She outright abandons her for an opportunity to escape. Now, yes, she doesn't know Ragatha very well, but that's still pretty wrong. AND she gets consequences for this because she doesn't get what she wants. It's also something she apologizes for at the end of Episode 3 by telling Ragatha she does appreciate her.

Episode 2 she also relates to Gummigoo and helps him out, but not before she puts priority into escaping. She only steps in to help him when she starts to realize she relates to what he's going through. But this is also an important development because it helps Pomni realize she is not alone in her thoughts, sees externally how detrimental they are, and realizes she doesn't want anyone to feel like they're nothing.

She is also a massive coward. Every time she feels in danger, her first instinct is to run. The abstraction? Runs away. Episode 3 is probably the biggest callout to Pomni's cowardice. She becomes irritable, on edge all the time, and even a bit on the stupid side. She plays the adventure out of fear and her only priority is to get out. It's basically the Pilot version of her but in a different coat of paint. And it's her cowardice and instinct to run away from all her problems that makes her unable to progress through hell. She can't run away from any of this.

She is only given the ability to pull herself together when Kinger gives her a break from the chaos, and she just breaks down and cries. From everything. Her identity being taken away. Her new world. The chaos. The fear.

And she does get significant development in this moment, as she learns a new perspective on the world and her existence through Kinger.

"Good memories can do a lot. Hold onto them. And cherish the people around you. You never know when they'll be gone. In this world, the worst thing you can do is make someone think they're not wanted or loved."

A lesson that actually sticks as proof of Episode 4.

So yes, Pomni does have flaws, and they are pointed out by the story. They just don't outright say "Pomni is a selfish coward." They use subtext to let you pick it up for yourself.

Zooble's gender dysphoria is not a 'flaw'. That's a very real thing a lot of people in the trans community go through. Calling it a 'flaw' is kind of icky to me.

Zooble is incredibly stubborn and judgmental. They say exactly what's on their mind no matter how cruel it is. They do what they want unless they're forced to. They also are almost never hanging out with the group or participating in activities with them because they have low esteem about their body and don't feel comfortable. They don't give themself the chance to experience new things or step outside their comfort zone because they don't know what comfort is in this world.

These flaws and more are also a cause of Caine having an existential crisis. Yes Caine dismisses their feelings, but so do they in the therapy session. No regards to how Caine feels about it, they outright say that no one likes what he does for them.

Kinger is an airhead. Mostly cause of his dementia. He is difficult to work with because he does what he thinks at that exact moment without a second thought. And it often makes the situation worse.

Episode 4 is a Gangle episode all about her flaws. She's two faced. She always feels the need to wear a mask, a different character, over her old true self. Even as her true self, she's shy, submissive, unable to stand up for herself, and is always self deprecating. Her masks are her power in her eyes. Yes the masks are a boost of confidence, but they're not a healthy one to use. Because when she is given that power, she abuses it. She takes control of everything and everyone. She's bossy, dismissive of feelings, forceful, and even downright sadistic with forcing her point of view to 'always smile' onto others.

And it doesn't make her happy. It actually worsens her mental health.

And again, she takes accountability for everything she does in this episode. She accepts the consequence of the lack of amazing grade. Even before she knew it was just a B+, Gangle was ready to accept the punishment she thought she would receive.

Ragatha is a people pleaser. And she helps others for the sole reason that she wants herself to feel good. She's a fake 'nice girl'. That doesn't mean she doesn't care about anyone, but only because she helps them with such a selfish mindset. It's her superiority. Because if everyone thinks you're nice, no one hates you.

So far, she hasn't received her consequences yet in the show.

And Jax?

...I mean, do I have to say it?

He's a bully. He's a sadist. He only cares about his own amusement. He scoffs at kindness and care. He sees the people around him as his toys to play with. All he cares about is having fun.

I think his are the most obvious. I don’t know how anyone can look at Jax and say he’s ’essentially perfect’.

Then you have Caine, who is a literal A.I, so he doesn't consider anyone's feelings. He's forgetful of everyone's problems, dismisses questions, and also forces everyone to go on pretty messed up adventures. I mean, going to hell is not exactly a fun time. He does this because it's his purpose as an A.I, and when he receives criticism from Zooble, he mentally breaks and even becomes irritable. He will do ANYTHING to keep his purpose alive. That is all he knows. That is all he is willing to know.

Now, you can hate the shows portrayals of anxiety or depression or dysphoria or dementia or whatever. Everyone has their own experiences. You're not gonna relate to every single portrayal out there. That's fine.

But the TADC cast DO have flaws. They're NOT perfect in any way. The show's script just uses a lot of subtext cause they trust the audience to pick up on this stuff themselves.

I know Goose probably didn't set out to make a toy brand, but I think it's interesting how none of the characters are allowed to have any flaws that may make them less palatable.

They're only allowed to have cutesy or #relatable flaws like Pomni's (poorly represented) anxiety or Zooble's (half-assed) gender/body dysphoria. Other then that they're all essentially perfect, and perfectly marketable.

Heck, even an explicitly toyetic show like MLP:FIM allowed it's characters to have real flaws and put them in conflicts that forced them to reveal their ugly sides.

[kindaeccentric]

When I was writing my university bachelor's degree thesis (that I'm still to defend) about Penny Dreadful as a modern adaptation of Frankenstein I noticed how the original novel's homoeroticism is realized by the series in an interesting way.

In the way he is presented, it seems to me that Victor secretly desires men, but thinks that only through creating a perfect one by himself he's allowed to touch other man's skin. His endeavour to pierce the veil between life and death is an excuse, since Victor from the series grew up lonely after the death of his mother and he searches for companionship, for someone who would love him unconditionally, like his mother used to. He believes he can find such love only in a person he creates himself, brings from the dead, and who would see him as his only friend, calm and obedient. Yet his first instinct is to make a man, not a woman, and a handsome man at that.

I can imagine both Rory Kinnear and Alex Price are not everybody's cup of tea (I do find them attractive, they are quite charismatic), but the way the original Creature and Proteus are shown makes them attractive. Proteus we see through Victor's eyes, when he is tending to his body before its even reanimated, when he sketches him (a sure sign of affection) and when he teaches him how to eat in a way that becomes seductive, because of how the camera lingers on his lips and then, in a closeup, on his fingers running down his long throat, immediately bringing to mind erotic imagery. Some may argue that Victor tries to emulate the relationship between his mother and himself taking the parental role and projecting onto Proteus the role of his childhood self, and as much as it is partially true, their relationship bears these marks of hidden desire on Victor's part from the start. The image at the end of the first episode when Proteus is born shows Victor trembling, teary-eyed, looking at the body, a torn and stitched back together, but human body, of a naked man. He's afraid, but not necessarily of the man, but of finally getting what he wanted, it's a fear resulting from excitement. Then the man is touching his face tenderly and Victor, still trembling, cannot stop himself from a little smile. Their faces are softly illuminated by the orange light of the gas lamp, creating an intimate atmosphere of a warm bedroom. Victor practically gasps hearing his own name smoken by Proteus. I doubt all of it was intentional in the way I read it, but it doesn't change the fact that the final scene can be easily interpreted this way.

Then the original Creature, with the violence surrounding his return, presents him as highly masculine, smart, powerful, a direct opposite to the delicate, clueless Proteus Victor could easily form into whatever he wanted. The Creature throughout the entire series is perceived as ugly by some and easily tolerated by others, making his ugliness purely subjective, since, despite his small deformities he remains strangely alluring with his gothic qualities (black long hair, black lips, white skin, yellow eyes, proportional features) of a dark brooding gentleman. With blood on his face he becomes vampire-like (vampires always a symbol of hidden desires and 'depraved' sexuality, the Creature and Victor becoming a mirror image of Vanessa and vampire Mina, both Creature's and Mina's monstrosity an indirect result of Victor's and Vanessa's desire towards having a same-sex companion). The Creature touches Victor's face, a callback to Proteus doing it, but the Creature is not gentle, he smears blood all over Victor's face (blood in vampire narratives was always a symbol for other bodily fluids, that's why it seems so sexy, it also gained another meaning in the 80s, due to the HIV epidemic, which no filmmaker can shake off if they tried, I could discuss it more with The Lost Boys, but no time for that right now).

The dynamic between Victor and the Creature is a reversal of Victor's budding relationship with Proteus, experience winning over innocence. Victor is under another man's rule, and it terrifies him, because it would force him into a position of having to admit his attraction, whereas as the one in control he could have still easily deny it. The Creature, with all his attributes, symbolizes carnal love, he's all 'body', where Proteus was virginal, pious love (to an extent). In one of the scenes where we see Proteus he looks up into the skylight at Victor's apartment and appears angelic, as if in a halo of white light.

It's revealed Victor never had a woman, and the series wants the viewer to believe it's because of his awkwardness and passion for science that consumed him, but his dedication to creating himself male companions instead of searching for a living female one is exactly what makes him seem more queer coded.

It's clear that the lack of paternal figure results in Victor quickly becoming close with older men he encounters (Sir Malcolm, Van Helsing), but it also puts him into a position where he's constantly surrounded by men, with whom he feels more at ease, and is intimidated by women. The rivalry between him and Ethan is that of siblings, until the moment when Ethan teaches him how to shoot a gun. It might be a stretch (it is a bit of a stretch, I admit), but a gun often, especially in horror, alongside a knife, represents manhood and masculine power. Victor allows Ethan to touch him and encourages him to show off with the gun, which is a scene all too familiar from many other movies where the role of Victor is reserved for a woman and the interaction is flirtatious (can't pull examples out of thin air, but if you saw over 1400 movies like me you know I'm not lying). All this adds to the general image of Victor.

The Creature and Victor, when they are on a walk, have a very revealing conversation in which the Creature points out how quick Victor was to grow attached to his more perfect man, and Victor doesn't deny it, he admits that he did in fact feel affection towards Proteus, although the meaning of it as the scorned past partner expressing jealousy over the love he didn't get while someone else did is largely subtext. When the Creature says that he's lonely, Victor answers 'I cannot love you' (paraphrase, because I can't find the exact quote right now) and the Creature, disillusioned, mocks him, 'I do not want what you cannot give' suggesting that Victor, by making himself a meek obedient man, is selfish, cruel, manipulating, and a coward, therefore could not have loved Proteus truly. Then again, Victor cannot bring himself to love his original Creature, because he's not the ideal man he envisioned and by then the Creature being too aware of his flaws of character. The Creature/Caliban/John Clare knows that Victor is 'monstrous', not just because he's someone who desecrates dead bodies, plays God and abandons his creation, but because of his queer desire. It's important that in the case of Penny Dreadful 'monstrosity' signifies many different things, literal (being a vampire werewolf, witch, and so on), metaphorical (bad deeds, like letting your son die a horrible death, cheating, killing etc.) and wholy subjective, merely condemned by ignorant society (Sembene's blackness, Brona's sex work, Lily's want to be equal or greater than men, Vanessa's want for sexual freedom, the Creature's ugliness, Angelique being transgender and other cases), so it's NOT that much of a stretch this time.

We also have the whole problem with Lily. Victor is so attached to Lily (who takes up both Elizabeth's and creature's bride parts in the novel) because he believes that only by possessing a good woman he'll be redeemed for his 'sinful' desires, but he's foolish to think that. This belief reduces a woman to a semi-maternal, semi-virginal angelic ideal with no sexual urges or agency, like virgin Mary. Lily is a true replacement for Victor's mother, and his imagined redemption. As long as she's similar to Proteus, in that she's not sexual, and pure like an angel. Yet Lily is not a woman in that sense. She is another of Victor's creatures, so she partially also takes over the role of the original Creature from the novel, a male. She's not an ideal of a Victorian obedient wife, she has power, or tries to have it, but power in the context of patriarchal society is masculine by nature. The moment she drops her pretenses of a weak delicate wife-like girl Victor does not want her like this. He doesn't want a woman that is sexually liberated, because he doesn't like women in this way, and yet, by being similar to the first Creature (from Victor's perspective, from hers John Clare is similar to Victor-a man, I could delve into Brona's sexuality, but later, this thing is already way longer than I intended) she's 'the man' he wanted.

There is also Henry. Henry Jekyll takes the role of his namesake in the novel, Henry Clerval, Victor's closest friend, and a character most often cited to have homoerotic tension with Victor. It's true that some of the eroticism might be accidental, stemming from the prevalence of homosocial interactions in 'Frankenstein' which in turn is a result of misogynistic nature of 19th century Genevian society and in-novel universe reflecting it, but like I mentioned before, it still feeds into the queer reading of the text and translates beautifully into Jekyll and Victor being both extremely misogynistic towards Lily and their mutual homoerotic tension. In the scenes where Henry purposes his plan to Victor he practically seductively purrs it into his ear, Lily becomes merely a female buffer that allows for that interaction, a female presence which is an excuse for male closeness (here I have a couple of examples actually: Dead Ringers, Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, Scream (in a roundabout way, through murder) and a couple others, but that deserves its own article). I won't even mention more references to the novel, because that's a lot already.

Penny Dreadful, although I believe largely unintentionally, expands on what is already there through the changes it introduces in relation to the novel's plot. I have nothing else smart to say, I just think it's worth considering.

*I use the word 'queer', because that's the umbrella term we use in academic writing for years now and even our lgbt+ group at university is called 'queer', so don't come at me with stupid takes