#ive always been a fantasy girly

[star-realities]

I WILL get back to posting about my DC DRs... eventually. I pinky swear.

[pinkpigtailsprincess]

🎀 𓈒 ݁ ₊ Hello,This is Dolly 🍭

…you’ve landed onto Planet Ai’ya ! 💫🪼🎀

?? . . . LOADING … 𓈒 ݁ ₊ > 🌸

⊹ ⋆ﾟ꒰ఎ (5) NEW FROM > @ pinkpigtailsprincess

📧; HI HI!! IT’Z ME AI’YA!! 🪼🎀 Welcome 2 my blog/my own little planet this blog featurs topic such as ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ LOA ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ SHIFTING ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ ADVICE ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ GIRLY MISC ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ MUSIC + MORE! . . . now more on me…

?? . . . documenting files … 𓈒 ݁ ₊ > 📟

…4teen …black/soulaan …INFJ-T

…𓂃 …ace n omni subliminal maker!!

ive been shifting for about 4-5 years now and im only been into loa for almost a WHOLE YEAR!!

Likes: Sanrio,plushies,roblox,blankets,fashion,bratz, monster high,barbie,my little pony,tiny alien mofu mofu,korillakuma,newjeans,kara,wonder girls,girls’ generation,tokyo revengers,magical girls anime,hime gyaru,cloud e sky,art,pink and gold,sweet treats,sweet smelling lotion and soap and kpop and jpop and i love to read books from when i was younger,i like manga,i love hair bows,fizzy cherry soda,im black,i love licca-chan dolls,powerpuff girls,lalalopsy,my scene,strawberry shortcake and pinkcalious, hello kitty,mocha,charmmy kitty,honey cute,my melody and sweet piano are my favorite sanrio characters!! 🎀🧁

Masterlist!! 🎀🧁

Law of Assumption! ⭐️

◜ 𓈒 ݁ ₊ it’s your own journey !!

| 𓈒 ݁ ₊ never let 3rd parties shake you

| 𓈒 ݁ ₊ dissatisfied with the old?? stop repeating it!!

| 𓈒 ݁ ₊ have fun with manifesting!!

| 𓈒 ݁ ₊ what does it mean 2 actually ignore the 3D?

| 𓈒 ݁ ₊ break the cycle

| 𓈒 ݁ ₊ everything is in your favor!!

| 𓈒 ݁ ₊ rationalizing loa (boo)

| 𓈒 ݁₊ Dolly nd Honey’s Collab !! 🎀🍯

| 𓈒 ݁₊ live in imagination !

| 𓈒 ݁₊ do it for yourself!!

| 𓈒 ݁₊ you’re the only power !

| 𓈒 ݁₊ Limitless star !!⭐️

| 𓈒 ݁₊ feel your feelings !

| 𓈒 ݁₊ it’s already yours !

| 𓈒 ݁₊ yes or..? YES!!

| 𓈒 ݁₊ ignoring the 3d

| 𓈒 ݁₊ you are god

| 𓈒 ݁₊ you have ur sp

| 𓈒 ݁₊ Build-A-Boyfriend!

| 𓈒 ݁₊ its really so easy!

| 𓈒 ݁₊ you can leave whenever you want

| 𓈒 ݁₊ why pretend to be anything less?

| 𓈒 ݁₊ you can leave whenever you want!

| 𓈒 ݁₊ wdym theres no movement?!

| 𓈒 ݁₊ it feels good to just give it to yourself

| 𓈒 ݁₊ you’re always in control

| 𓈒 ݁₊ you’re not bound to one life

| never settle for less than what you want

𝜗𝜚 ݁ ˖

Affirmations!! ⭐️

| 𓈒 ݁₊ what competition?

| 𓈒 ݁₊ its my scene

| 𓈒 ݁₊ princess syndrome

| 𓈒 ݁₊ shifting vaunt

| 𓈒 ݁₊ I,Candy

| 𓈒 ݁₊ I am the god of my reality

| 𓈒 ݁₊ pink glitter fantasy

| 𓈒 ݁₊ you’re everything he’s just ken

| 𓈒 ݁₊ i am a god

| 𓈒 ݁₊ you’re my chemical hype boy

| 𓈒 ݁₊ specific person affs

| 𓈒 ݁₊ if you wanna pretty

| 𓈒 ݁₊ imagination life is your creation!!

| 𓈒 ݁₊ its a dolls world

| 𓈒 ݁₊ pink sugar

| 𓈒 ݁₊ the world is my playground!!

| 𓈒 ݁₊ sharpay evans !!

𝜗𝜚 ݁ ˖ Don’t look 4 movement be it

Shifting Realities!🎀⭐️

| 𓈒 ݁₊ stop leaving room for failure

| 𓈒 ݁₊ unique drs you can shift to

| 𓈒 ݁₊ shifting made easy

| 𓈒 ݁₊ my dr’s pt1

| 𓈒 ݁₊ angel express 999 pt1

| 𓈒 ݁₊ my dr’s pt2

Misc !!🎀⭐️

| 𓈒 ݁₊ some fun things 2 manifest bc ur limitless

| 𓈒 ݁₊ fun way 2 live in the end

| 𓈒 ݁₊ some things you can manifest

| 𓈒 ݁₊ some super cute things 2 manifest

| 𓈒 ݁₊ “illogical” things im gonna manifest pt1

Doll Talks ! 🎀💬

| 𓈒 ݁₊ manifesting rant

The Advice Column!🫧

| 𓈒 ݁₊ Advice coloum Issue No.1 🎀⭐️

| 𓈒 ݁₊ Doll Tips ; Being the New Kid!! 🎀⭐️

The Glow up Diaries!

𝜗𝜚 ݁ ˖ Glow up Update!

Summer Sweetie ! 🎀☀️

𝜗𝜚 ݁ ˖ SUMMER GLOW UP PREP!!! ⭐️

SUMMER GLOW UP ; Reseting!! 👙

𝜗𝜚 ݁ ˖

𝜗𝜚 ݁ ˖

Dollies MP3!

𝜗𝜚 ݁ ˖ Dollies pink mp3.

𝜗𝜚 ݁ ˖ GLITTERATION! 💫

𝜗𝜚 ݁ ˖ songs from my playlist!

𝜗𝜚 ݁ ˖ SLUMBER PARTY

𝜗𝜚 ݁ ˖ Song RECS!!

Dolls confessional!

𝜗𝜚 ݁ ˖ coming soon ! - 💫

AiSpace!! 🛍️

𝜗𝜚 ݁ ˖ How 2 Dermaplain Properly!

(like myspace 😉)

The Princess Diaries!📔🎀

𝜗𝜚 ݁ ˖ coming soon ! - 💫

Dni criteria : racist,transphobic,homophobic,anti Semitic,sexism,pro isreal,islamophobic,fat-phobic,basically all the dni criteria,€d blogs,kink or nsfw blog,old men,creeps,ddlg (ur really gross),18+,ped0s, and basically anything thats mean,gross and weird dni!!

[cwunny]

Of course I'm never gonna stop now, you're embracing me so warmly and openly. I love being your favorite x3 it means I'm doing a good job as a big brother! To be honest and genuine for a second,... I really appreciate that I stumbled upon this cute little blog x3 it's been so much fun writing asks for you and sitting here giddy waiting for excitement to find out what your little reactions are! I'm not honestly the biggest fan of myself? Yet, weirdly enough, it's been comforting how accepting and open you've been about my asks hehe. I know that's mostly because I'm teasing you, but I really do get the feeling you might be the little sister I for real have always dreamed of having. Naughty, cute, girly, sweet. Heck everything down to the way you describe yourself and the fact you love strawberries. You are just a wholesome and good girl and you're my favorite too! I couldn't ask for a better sibling to bond with or use~ (🌸)

ok kind of vulnerable cwunny rn instead of horny cwunny, bare with me pls!!

m so happy i’ve cultivated a lil group of people on here who like the same things i like :33 i know the shit i’m into is problematic and gross, but i feel safe being icky here, so it makes me feel really good to know ive given you the same thing i get out of tumblr, even if it’s just a little bit :)

i think it’s really validating to be seen by someone exactly how you want them to see you, and that’s what you do for me! i hope that’s maybe what i do for u too big brother <3

(ps, if u don’t have an acc where u post ur writing.. MAKE ONE!! the stuff you write is so compelling and you could really capture a broader audience if u wanted

i made this account thinking id just yap about my fantasies into the void, but like, here i am!! idk how it happened but.. ppl kinda like it! and ppl REALLY like it when you send me asks :33)

[thefirstknife]

speaking of the unveiling, and bc im interested in hearing more of your thoughts on it, ive always been of the opinion that even as a parable or a metaphor or allegory or whatever you want to name it, because of the nature of the setting and how destiny largely tends to approach its own metaphysical "rules" in conjunction with its various narrators, that just because something is a metaphor doesn't necessarily mean it isn't also literal? if that makes sense. maybe it's leftover from when i was more of an elder scrolls girlie, but in my mind the two are not as mutually exclusive as one would think when it comes to fantasy/scifi especially in settings like destiny. there could very well be a "garden" and a "game" but exactly what and where (i believe these maybe more metaphysical concepts than physical and im open to being completely wrong) could be something completely inaccessible to human understanding if it even exists at all. that being said, im with you in wondering why everyone is getting angry over what i thought was kind of obvious.

Yeah, absolutely! I really love how Brookes phrased it:

“Unveiling is a parable. It is effectively a religious text. And how much of that is propaganda, how much of that is myth, how much of that is fact is deeply unclear in the nature of the text.”

Note how he never said it isn't real or literal. He said that we just can't know how much of it is myth and how much of it is fact due to the nature of the text. Most notably, due to who is telling it; the author being a biased party that is selling us a pitch to sway us to its side is super important.

If Unveiling is the result of the Witness peering behind the Veil and, well, witnessing the origins of the universe and therefore coming to a conclusion that everything is meaningless and that there is no greater purpose or a specific goal, the way the Witness would then try to present these origins of the universe would be painted by its conclusions. It has to make sense, the Gardener has to be meaningless and it has to prefer purposeless complexity over anything else and therefore the way the universe was constructed has to reflect that. So the Gardener and Winnower have to fight in a garden where everything was fine until the Gardener decided to make a change and that's why the universe exists as it does. And of course, don't forget that a part of the pitch is also to make us believe that the Gardener is not the right way to follow.

So an interpretation of these incomprehensible events would always to an extent fit the narrator. That means that we're basically dealing with a single interpretation of events that transpired which are impossible to factually see and measure. Someone else who looks at the Veil and uses it to see everything about the history of the universe will probably come to a different conclusion and will tell a different story based on the same events.

All terminology in the text is also very deliberately structured for human readers. There are references to big and small things that are specifically about only humans so this text would not work on any other species; it would have to be altered. This is immediately suspect because it shows that this was written for us and isn't just something that sprung out of nowhere fully formed with facts.

Among the references; the flower game which is literally just Conway's Game of Life (you can play it here btw) and it's a conscious reference since it mentions specific terminology from the game; the whole thing about the protein p53 which specifically calls it by our human terminology; the Cambrian Explosion which references geological eras and evolution of our planet; and super interesting reference to a specific individual, philosopher Jakob Böhme which is mentioned in two different pages. Someone did a deep dive into his philosophy in regards to the Veil because the Unveiling explicitly says that "he was right and it matters more than anything." Here's a really neat post about this on reddit if you want to dive into complex philosophical stuff.

These are hints that the author of the text is trying to put things into words that would make sense to us, humans, and that would additionally sway us to believe that the author is correct. So if you're trying to explain the origins of the universe to a human that you also want to sway to your position, you would naturally have to create a mythology that a human would be able to digest and believe.

I do believe that there's facts in Unveiling, as I've noted some like for example the Vex in my post about it. How do we explain existence before existence to a human and make them believe us? Use familiar terminology (garden, gardener, winnower, vex), construct a myth that neatly answers all questions, sprinkle references and facts about the real human history to show that the author is familiar with what they're talking about and then write in a way that's approachable.

So yeah. Something must've been there before the Big Bang. Our human brain really struggles to conceptualise this and humanity has been trying to figure it out since the dawn of time; through religion, philosophy, mysticism, science and all combinations of those. It might be literally impossible to figure it out and explain something like "initial singularity," especially in a way to make some humans decide that your story is interesting and worth following you for.

It's much simpler to boil it down to a "garden" with some relatable characters who are playing a game and get into a fight. It's easier to explain that the Vex may have preceded the existence of the universe by just saying that they escaped a garden where two cosmic beings fought over a game. This "place" (if we can call it that) might still exist, but by the virtue of being outside of our comprehension, it's easier to describe it as a garden with characters and a tree and some strange lifeforms. It's certainly more captivating than reading about real theoretical physics like for example this (as incredibly fascinating as it is, a lot of it will absolutely fly above people's heads, including mine).

The point is, the story could absolutely still be based on facts, as Brookes said, we just don't know what those facts are. The text itself is not telling ONLY facts because that's not its purpose, not to mention that it's easier to explain and entertain people by giving a cool myth with fundamental forces of physics and existence being shown through personifications who talk and argue and fight. People taking those personifications literally has always been weird to me because the text itself tells us they're allegorical. It's admitting that it's trying to explain things that are difficult to explain and is using a way for us to conceptualise this (showing itself as a benevolent entity that is eager to give us information), while also using this conceptualisation to weave its own propaganda in it at the same time.

Some of this will clear up soon. I'm very eager to find out if we'll ever get more of the Traveler's perspective on any of this. I would love to hear the Traveler say something at some point again. That would probably help us do our best to figure out more about what's fact and what's myth, but even that would be biased, in a way, even if the Traveler is the Gardener; the Gardener would still be telling us its own view of things. But another perspective would definitely help. Either way, it's a fascinating piece of text and an interesting dive into some really intriguing scifi concepts. I'm definitely not expecting some substantial 100% provable fact on how the universe began, as that question exceeds what a video game story can tell us, but will there be something that fits the setting? Some sort of an answer, as close to the truth as possible? Maybe!

To close this off, I always liked the story about the origin of the universe of the species called the Tiiarn, as told to Caiatl by her childhood mythkeeper, the psion Ahztja:

"Imagine the universe as swirling chaos," Ahztja said softly. Caiatl closed her eyes and saw it. "Among the chaos stands Irkyn La, the First Host, who blinks herself into existence with the First Thought: chaos must come to order." Caiatl saw a creature, tremendous beyond belief, in her mind's eye. "And so to satisfy the First Thought, which would become the First Law, Irkyn La consumes the chaos of the void and gives birth to the ordered universe." Caiatl opened her eyes, and they were bright with intrigue. "That is how the Tiiarn would say the universe began," Ahztja said. Caiatl looked at the toy in her hands, and then back at Ahztja. "Where does this giant woman live?" "The Tiiarn would say she is the very fabric of the universe. When you look to the sky, when you look out into space, you are looking into Irkyn La's mouth."

Who knows, maybe there's some truth to this myth as well.

[elephant-in-the-pride-parade]

20 Fic Writer Quesions

First, thank you @singeart and @mytardisisparked for tagging me!. I did a set of these last year and it was fun to see how my answers have changed since then!

How many works do you have on Ao3?

61

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count?

1.6 million and counting!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Star Trek Voyager

Star Trek Prodigy

Sailor Moon

Harry Potter

Madam Secretary

Ive debated writing SwanQueen for a long time but by the time I had the energy and time to write, I'd lost interest in the show. I might rewatch and come back to it one day...

I have thought about writing Wynonna Earp or Tamora Pierce universe fanfiction but have yet to get an idea that grabs me. I like to find things i want to fix and it's hard when the source material is perfection.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

The Parent Trap (305)

Sailor Moon H Order of the Phoenix (289)

Sailor Moon H Half Blood Prince (222)

Eden's Deception (167)

Out of Reach (150)

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try to! although if I'm busy or feeling down it can take me a while. Sometimes I forget.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I still think What Even is 3 Minutes takes the cake. Or I'll be Your First if You'll be my Last

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I Heard the Comm on Christmas Morn and Parent Trap

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Unfortunately I've gotten hate on fics since I started writing them... and it's become just something I expect to happen. Sometimes it's funny. Sometimes it confuses me. Sometimes it makes me sad. It really depends...

The memorable haters:

There was the delightful Fanfiction.net reviewer who got pissed i was "making everybody gay" (that was funny actually). I forget if they were the same person who flamed me when Mcgonagall and Hooch kissed under some mistletoe. I digress. They thought queering up the canon was like sinful or whatever. I was delighted to disagree and make the story even queerer.

Another person cussed me out for magically restraining Sailor Plutos time travel powers so my plot would work and for making her have feelings about it. aparently mad the senshi were not all powerful deus exmachinas who never feel feelings... That one stung. That was the reason I left FFN.

Hate because in Sailor Moon H, Harry Potter was not the main character.

Hate that I made a magic bio baby for the magical lesbians. (I can't have a biobaby with my wife irl, can't I at least let the fantasy girlies have one!)

Hate for including C/7 in a story

...I wouldn't call it hate for the fic but I have had an uncomfortable amount of commenters who hate on Chakotay any time I have him involved with Seven / don't have him grovel to Kathryn / really any time I let him advocate for how he's been hurt... at first comments like this stressed me out because i worried i had not written the character sufficiently sympathetic. But then Parent Trap breached containment and I got enough comments to be able to see I had definitely written the character fine... it was just that some people were always just rooting for a "Chakotay falls over himself to apologize to Janeway for not immediately dating her" storyline that... I'm not sorry 😅 I'm never going to write that. The older I get the more I feel like both of J/C just need therapy! They've been through so much trauma. Their feelings are valid (yes, even for other people).

Parent Trap breaching containment also meant that when I hit an irl rut and couldnt get in the writing headspace for a bit, a bunch of - sincerely, well meaning - fans got into their heads to start a commenting campaign to get me to update. I heard about it and panicked (i had bad experiences that year of getting people who only commented "update soon" and those conversely stressed me out and made me not want to write - I love fic writing for the conversations and community... so it made me feel like readers thought i was just a content vending machine). so just the thought of potentially getting an avalanche of guests, well meaning or not, begging me to update made me lock commenting until the fic was done. I wound up deciding after that that since "update soon" requests were becoming a lot more frequent that I'd consider before posting whether getting them would hurt my ability to finish. So most of the time now if I know a fic is going to reach a bigger potential community, I don't start posting it until it's almost done. That has had some upsides! (Im less dependent on positive feedback for motivation now!) and some downsides (no one comments on my fics with their theories anymore) but on a whole, a good decision.

Immediately after finishing Parent Trap I wrote Fever and got this amazing guest comment from someone who said (paraphrasing cuz i'm too busy to go find it) "Youre better than this. how dare you write this filth. J/C are better than this" that one had me laughing for days. But the comment did prompt me to create a second account later when I wrote a tentacle fic. At the time I worried i'd get a ton of similar flame comments from people who were subscribed to my main for other types of fic... but I am even feeling like that's unnecessary now. I write what I write! Yes, some of it is really dirty, weird smut. I'm not sorry.

Currently any time I post a Threshold AU fic an anon drops into my comments section in order to call me "Sick" and "Deranged"... they make me so sad I don't even make a quippy reply. I just delete them. I write that universe for my own wish fulfillment... Someday (soon, hopefully) I'm gonna have kids. And I am going to have to have conversations with them about who their biological dad is. Why they look like one mom and not the other, whether their non bio family love them even if theyre not blood related. I might have a kid who feels different from everyone else because they're queer or they're neurodivergent or they're some new alienating feeling I am totally unprepared for. and I'll need to help them navigate that.. Writing about hybrid salamander kids getting raised in a blended family is FUN. But more importantly... it helps me practice those situations. It comforts me to know that if the characters can figure this out in the AU then I can figure this out in real life! What the hell is sick and deranged about that!?

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I write all sorts of smut. I post the stuff that doesn't totally mortify me once i've gotten out of whatever mood had me writing the smut in the first place.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I have exactly two crossovers to my name: Sailor Delta and Sailor Moon H. I think on the basis of word count alone Sailor Moon H (>500,000) is definitely the craziest.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I consider the unlicensed use of the AO3 archive for ChatGPT and similar LLMs theft. (and there are several court cases pending that are also seeking to address whether it is legally theft as it pertains to published fiction and newspapers). The canon creators of the fandoms I write for aren't allowed to make money by using uncredited ideas pulled from my fanfiction (just like I am not allowed to make money from writing fic with their copyrighted settings and characters) and i continue to be apalled that ChatGPT and other LLMs think they can get away with using others copyrighted ideas without permission. Especially that they can take advantage of people who cant profit off their own work.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? 

No but i would be open to it!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! Once with @magdalenejaneway, once with @jellybeansarecool and once with @trekflower and all three were fantastic!

Most of what I write for Threshold AU is also increasingly collaborated on a great deal by the AU creators and a few other folks. It's been going for over 2 years now and doing that more and more has enabled us all to drop more references to previous fics and to create a more cohesive body of fic for the AU. in general its just been so fun and fulfilling to make these stories with other people who are as invested in the characters as me and it just fills me with joy. I'm really grateful for you guys.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

On the one hand J/C have inspired over 50 fics, But on the other I have also been loving Sailor Moon and those ships since before I knew what fandom or shipping were. And really the only reason J/C inspire more fic is that all the sailor moon characters got a happy ending.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I never want to give up on a WIP...

but I am in knots about what all to do with Out of Reach.

Out of Reach is a St:Prodigy S1 AU where Chakotay has amnesia and doesn't remember anything from his time on Voyager, all the while he and Kathryn are in a situationship with a baby.

There's two questions I never figured out how to answer: 1. Does he get his memories back. If so, how much and what enables it. and 2: Do he and Kathryn stay together?

On the memories front. saying he never recovers seems unfair to the character. But saying he magically does thanks to 24th century science feels cheap and disrespectful - to the reality of real memory loss and to the plot that built up so much tension around this. Saying he gets back some or more over time is more realistic, but left me uncertain of where exactly to end the story. Tying his retrieval of memories to Kathryn also tied me up in knots. On the one hand they're in love and thats romantic. on the other hand the optics of his recovery totally dependent on one person is icky.

I also found the baby really annoying to have there by the end - I still think he's cuteeee i really do!!! - it's just... he makes the "we should stay together and try to figure this out" answer a bit too convenient 😅. and he complicates Kathryns reluctance to restart their relationship. The more she resists, the more callous she seems (deliberately not trying to patch things up with her kid's father) when i really just want to focus on her fears that Chakotay would be happier without her and that even if they restart their romance, she might lose him again on a future mission. It's ironic because i originally created the baby to ensure she wouldnt just run away from her fears. And now hes contributing to my difficulty ending the fic...

Actually the more I think on it, my real problem is I could write my way out of this, but I cant do it in only one or two chapters and that makes me feel tired. i was sorta hoping to wrap that fic up. 😅🙈

16. What are your writing strengths?

Imagery has always been a strength for me. But i think I'm also getting really good at action scenes too.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Oneshots.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Only if it was information i wanted the reader to understand but not the POV character.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

W.I.T.C.H way back when I was 15.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Universe to Mend - I even have a few sequel or companion novel ideas to come after it.

This has gone on a while... 😅 - thank you for tagging me and letting me ramble! i'll tag anyone else who wants to answer! have at it.

[zaynesaurora]

PSSSTTT PHOENIX 🥰

april's ending soon, so i thought i'd say;

i love and appreciate you a LOT A LOT A LOT A LOT MORE THAN WORDS 🥺 you're like one of the very first people ive interacted with here on tumblr and you just. you give me genuinely so much serotonin 🥰 everytime you post i get a little spark of joy, and interacting with you is always super super fun!!! and your posts!! your writing!!! you make me feel so spoiled no matter what you do and no matter what you write, it's like a little treat <33 i swear we must have been twins in another universe, i hold so much love for you in my heart my fellow stay, fellow lnds girlie, fellow fonal fantasy enthusiast <3 i hope we can interact more, i adore you to the moon and back, my nixie 🤍 know that i'm always here praying for your happiness <3

you remind me of: a warm cup of coffee im the morning, freshly baked cookies, arcade games, karaoke parties, laundry fresh from the drier <3 things homely and free, because you give me just that much joy <3

you're not in my dms (yet? 🥺) but your nickname would've been: gingerbread cookie ✨ (sweet, just like you :D)

thank you for making my april a blast! 🥰

my most loveliest roxie you ofc already know you made me cry at WORK but omg this made my little heart so happy this morning you are so cute:(

first of all, i could only interact with you so openly from the get go because you welcomed me with wide open arms and so much love i owe infold a big fat kiss for placing me in a timeline where i could meet you and experience genuine joy and love from someone so far away <333 your such a smooth talker but i will always secretly (not secret at all ily) wait for you to catch on to anything i post bc we are so in tune with each other i love it so much,, mt twin my love my other half i hope we get to explore our shared interests for many more days mwah

you remind me of similar things but i guess we're just each othere comfort like that :(( the little cinnamon bun to my gingerbread cookie 🥰

[undercoverpena]

💕if you get this, answer w/ three random facts about yourself and send it to the last seven blogs in your notifs. anon or not, doesn’t matter, let’s get to know the person behind the blog !

<cracks knuckles>

let’s do this. hahah. firstly thank you so much for sending this in! I’m wildly good with asks that are about writing or characters and then freeze up when they become about me hahah. so here’s another attempt at some facts:

1. I write romance. not a shock to anyone or likely a fact, but ive never swayed from it. not since I concocted stories and wrote them for myself when i was 13, not when I began writing fanfiction when I was 24 and not now when I write 80% romcoms and you all lap it up. I have friends who write fantasy, I have friends who love mysteries, but me, I am a romance girly to my core. and I’ve always been that way even when I’ve been single, engaged or married.

2. I am really into F1, after getting back into it (I used to watch it when I was younger) in 2020 through E-sports.

3. my nails right now are pink, and 40% of my wardrobe is also pink 💁‍♀️

[calkale]

How many people I ship them with

My favorite ship of them

When I think I truly started to like them (or dislike them, if you've sent me a character I don't like)

What’s the first thing you think about when thinking about the character?

Sexuality hc!

If they could meet a character from another show/movie/etc, who would be the most fun for them to meet?

(For Ice and Ethan, if you do not mind)

SCREAM NADE SO MANY QUESTIONS THAMK YOU!!!! <33

For Ice:

4. How many people I ship them with

Okay i love icemav, i love slicemav, but not the biggest fan of slice so its a weird situation? I am a slice enjoyer but i cant see them having a romantic relationship at all. I dont really ship ice with anyone else

5. My favorite ship of them

Mmm icemav

2. When I think I truly started to like them (or dislike them, if you've sent me a character I don't like)

Ive always thought he was hot but idk when i started to like him as a character, i know it wasn’t the first time i watched top gun it might’ve been when i saw tgm tbh

11. What's the first thing you think about when thinking about the character?

His frosted tips <3

12. Sexuality hc!

GAY!!! All respect for my bi ice girlies and tom cruise living in his little fantasy world where ice has a wife and kids but that man is gay he has never looked at a woman

27. If they could meet a character from another show/movie/etc, who would be the most fun for them to meet?

I cant think of anyone outside of top gun but i wanna see Ice and Warlock interact, i think they’d be a fun dynamic and i wish we got to see them interact

Also paddington ice would love paddington.

For Ethan:

4. How many people I ship them with

I think just ilsa, benji and luther? Honestly probably alanna too (first time i typed this i included ethan in the list and im not gonna disagree with myself there)

5. My favorite ship of them

Ilsaethan <3 they mean the world to me, bethan is growing on me but still not the biggest fan altho i love how simon pegg talks about benji being in love with ethan all the time hes so real. Ethan and Luther is also so so good but im an ilsaethan girl at heart

2. When I think I truly started to like them (or dislike them, if you've sent me a character I don't like)

I think it was the third time i watched fallout? I watched it for henry cavill the first time and the second time was because i liked the movie then the third time was after i watched tgm but before i decided to watch all the mi movies

11. What's the first thing you think about when thinking about the character?

That slutty little black outfit in mi1

12. Sexuality hc!

Bi but with a preference for girls, tom cruise you coward when is Ethan gonna seduce a man for information

27. If they could meet a character from another show/movie/etc, who would be the most fun for them to meet?

Okay not a character but i need nicole kidman to be a mi villain so so so bad she’d be phenomenal, she was such a good villain in paddington and id love to see a female villain in mission impossible. Also paddington i need them to interact, paddington imf agent when

[miitopias]

would also like ur thoughts on everything i will listen to u talk abt video games always LOL but 6 9 12 22 28!

thank uu and likewise 🫶🫶 will not answer everything bc thts so many but also i feel like ive covered a lot of these topics before on my sideblog but! i will answer these for u 🫰

6. A series you’ve enjoyed since your early days of gaming and still enjoy to this day whether it still has games coming out or is one you return to pokemon and rhythm heaven :') ❤️ from these series ive only played platinum and rhds as a kid, so as an adult ive been enjoying their other titles.. though i do not rly care for 3d pokemon titles.. but with time that may change. and wait technically final fantasy, bc i had the ff4 ds cartridge as a kid. except it was in japanese and i had no idea how to play it and did fuck all. i didnt even realize it was final fantasy until years later when i played ff7, and i recognized the running from battle animation. and now i have final fantasy brainrot <3

9. A game you played completely blind with no prior knowledge of and enjoyed/loved ff9 and ghost trick 😎 im so happy i played these without any spoilers or any idea what to expect, bc i really think thats the best way to experience them

12. A character you particularly like in the game you’re currently playing YRP girlies 😎😎😎 idk when ill ever finish x-2 cuz this ps3 is kinda busted, but despite their kinda cringe dialogue i still love yuna and the girlies

22. A game ending that’s really stuck with you FF9....... i think u saw my insanity firsthand when i did not shut up about it for like 8 months 😭 it really changed my life bc it was ff9 that really made me get more serious w literary analysis of games and medias in general, bc i just wanted to understand everything abt this story. majora's mask similarly changed my life and was the reason i made a sideblog to begin with, because i NEEDEDDD to be insane about this game somewhere.. god what an ending. god. ok im not going to go insane abt it rn LOL my focus is on Spider-Man now.

28. Pick a series you like. What was the first game you played for it? Was it a good starting point? Would it still be a good starting point now? i wont pick final fantasy bc my answer is literally the same as yours LOL so um... i will pick zelda. my first zelda game was botw and honestly that is an AWFUL starting point for getting into zelda JFKLJSDL bc its just so. fucking different from every zelda game out there. and also bc its a love letter to the franchise, that probably a million references flew over my head bc i didnt know what they were referencing. but yeah like its just absolutely awful to go from a game where you can freely jump to a game where you have to ROLL.

but at the same time i dont think botw is an awful starting point. bc like.... its a good game. its a good Modern game. like the older zelda games, especially the 3d titles, are extremely outdated. i dont think anyone should be playing those in this day and age when botw/totk is there to experience instead. while not ideal, i think its fine to hit it off with a modern switch title, then work your way down to older titles.

of course 2d zeldas are a different thing. dare i say, the superior thing. also i dont believe anyone should get into zelda. bad franchise. except when the games are good. all pondering aside the best starting point for zelda is ALBW, then MM3D. maybe some MINISH CAP as a treat. those are the only existing zelda titles. to me. but jokes aside if someone is really gonna have a 'starting point' for zelda games then its definitely BOTW/TOTK or ALBW. doesnt matter whether its a switch title or ALBW played first, but its very very very very important that ALBW is played as well.

[ojirocardigansniper]

30, 34, 38, and B for blink !

Tahnks for blowing up my whole shit ian i love you.

30. Who do they most regret meeting? 

the second i saw 30 was this i said outloud OH FUCK. onehit kill. can't be any answer other than her best friend. they are pair bonded like parrots (Tragic). girl meets boy because her job is going to be listening for response from the gods he's killing himself to communicate with, and her job is going to be watching him die, teaching the next one to die, and the next, until her drowning day finally comes. she met his predecessor in uer end stages of sickness, so she knows how it will look for him. No matter how much she loves him or how many times she can get away with dumping out his ritual cup, he's committed to what he's doing, what he's been raised to do... so yeah, she regrets meeting him. not that she thinks of it as something she chose to do, seeing as it's all divine-vision-scraps that brought her there. but when she still sometimes wishes for another life for them, often she thinks separate lives would have the best chance of peace.

34. How hard is it for them to shake a sense of guilt?

mm. impossible really. survivor's guilt alchemized into rage at who seemed responsible, but it's still there. she feels simultaneously that she doesn't deserve the losses she's suffered, and that she's still here and alive. there's also insanely complex guilt around everything with her partner's slow ritual death and the death of their mentor the same way. the struggle between prolonging the suffering overall versus staving the worst of it off now. (under my breath) the phrase Quality of Life is not part of their lexicon and it shows . whats that hospice by the antlers you say ? something something shiva4shiva? noooo haha whattt

38. What memory do they revisit the most often?

ah jeez. ah fuck. hard to say. technically i suppose memories of her death (past visions of it) but that's not voluntary. unconsciously i think she very often revisits childhood memories of her brother- always has fragments of them floating about without realizing. one of her core unfulfilled needs is that close companionship she lost back then- she's been trying to fill that hole ever since, no matter if she does so on purpose. i'm really trying to think of things she would consciously try to remember and. mostly coming up with 'tonguing the hole in the gum' type things. don't forget the pain of this or you'll stop letting it drive you. (kicks a rock) she's in my personal bouquet of wretched girlies with baru cormorant for a reason...

B) What inspired you to create them?

time honored tradition of fandom au that got out of fucking hand 🫡 haikyuu au with the highschool bestie, we cooked up a big kingdoms+fantasy setting thru like 2016-2018 and then i continued going feral over a handful of characters that lived rent free in my mind for the next. three years ish? before i finally was like ok i should make it official and stop calling these bitches the names of anime characters. For ayirine specifically some of her core traits have been there since the beginning (foresight, dead twin, death by drowning, kills her best friend) but since filing off serial numbers i transed her gender and made her more actively suicidal (its themes. sorry) and REALLY WEIRD re: her religious convictions. also structurally she's become a prequel tragedy / cautionary tale preceding the main chunk of the narrative, which, not that we had a lot of structure before due to being high schoolers just having fun worldbuilding, but her killing her best friend used to be a W for the then-protagonists bc he was the leader of their enemy, et cetera. by now ive wandered entirely away from the adversarial narrative and into the weeds of other stuff i can personally tell a better story about, due to having Many Thoughts Head Full. i like putting together stories that are dioramas of people and their strange selves much more now than i did when i was a #teen and mostly just liked cool settings and shit. now im like if the characters in the setting arent fascinating then well i almost dont care how cool it is. 

ok swag that wasnt as interminably long as i thought it was. no readmore then (gestures to followers) Look at my melodramatic oc boy

[bark-eater]

@transgirlmononoke tagged me in a thing

Fav colour: been getting into orange lately, but green is always a classic

Currently reading: im not :3 last thing i read was an article about pretzel consumption in Pennsylvania, if were only counting books then It Devours!  

Last song: return to the river, from the season 2 finale of the silt verses not really to my tastes but its very fitting for the story/themes and B. Narr has a lovely voice

Last series:  the silt verses, one of the best audio dramas out there imo, its a fantasy/religious horror with absolutely fantastic writing and performances and sound design. i could go about this show for forever if you can handle horror/gross sounds i highly recommend you check it out (ive listened to the whole things twice now)     

Last movie: either Train to Busan or unstoppable, i forget what order we watched them, train to busan is very good, unstoppable was fun to laugh at

Sweet, spicy, or savoury: sweet almost all of the time, i am simply creature and i crave dopamine

Craving: hanging out with friends in person

Tea vs coffee:coffee all day everyday, although i have been on a huge ice tea kick ever since the weather warmed up, but yea coffee girlie need caffeine

Currently working on:trying to find joy/meaning in everyday things, also my model railroad

kinda

sorta

(progress has stalled)

not tagging anyone cause im fucked up and evil >:3

[khodorkovskaya]

12.01.23

sooo a lot of confusing things happened.

i went to see puss in boots yesterday and the hype is so worth it! im obsessed! it was so good!!!

and guess who i invited to the cinema with me...............

yeah, i know, i don't understand either. i texted him when i was on the train from luzern and he said yes. and so we went together.

(i was being weird on the phone with my parents about it so now they think that i have a secret lover lol. like idk i just can't lie to my parents so when they asked me who i went to the cinema with i was like "nobody!!!!" and it sounded very sspicious. so yeah, they believe that im seeing someone new now. but no lol. im just back on my bs.)

after the film we decided to go get a drink (i had green tea) and we had a very strange conversation. i told him about the books ive been reading and how im slowly making my way through kundera's "immortality" but i don't understand any of it. and then we talked about immortality (bc it was also a theme in puss in boots!) in relation to fame and who gets to be famous and who will always be left in the shadows. and then we said something along the lines of "extraordinary people get to be famous and normal people don't". and then i started telling him about how i think that it didn't work out between us bc we're not normal and we need normality to balance things out.

he said that his first relationship was with a normal person and, even though she was amazing, the relationship was boring. and he said that when he realised that i was crazy he found it charming. and it made me blush.

but anyway i started telling him about my zurich friend and my normal boyfriend fantasy and how i just want to fall in love with a normal person and be normal and hold hands. and he said that my zurich friend is very far from normal and how what we had was actually a normal relationship and i was too spoiled to realise it. he predicts that im gonna realise it in the future bc im gonna meet a lot of shitty guys and regret leaving him. but it will be a good learning experience for me.

and yeah he said that im not making sense and im speaking nonsense. and i think he's right bc ever since i isolated myself from society ive just been a bit insane. like im slowly descending into madness which i think is good for me bc i really need to think and analyse things. but at the same time ive become detached from reality. and now i have all these theories about wanting a normal boyfriend and hating the balkans.

then okay girlies bear with me... i missed my last tram and..... slept over at his place... yikes, i know i know.... but he promised we were gonna sleep in different beds (spoiler: we didn't) and we were just gonna drink tea and chat (spoiler: we didn't just drink tea and chat). and uhh im not gonna go into the details but i didn't feel really good. i just felt like... annoyed i guess is the best word to describe it.

i asked him if we could be friends bc i really want to be friends with him. i want to see his future spouse and kids and i want him to see mine. and i want us to be best friends until we die. but he said that if it's definitely over between us as a couple, we're not gonna see each other again. and it made me sad. why so harsh? why can't we just admit that it doesn't work and stay friends? he wouldn't give me an answer.

this morning we talked a bit more about our relationship and normality and stuff. and he said that in order to be a better and more mature person and actually learn from the past, i need to face my fears and confront him. and we can try to be bf/gf again but make an effort this time. and if it doesn't work, at least we would've tried.

so i was thinking about that for the whole day today. weighing the pros and cons and trying to understand what is "délire" and what is actually reasonable. i feel like im missing something in my brain, i swear. why do i never know what's right and wrong? what do i want and what do i not want? i feel like im disabled or something idk.

and then all of a sudden my dad (who i haven't heard from in a while) messages me like "call me now". he's in india now and i thought it was something urgent. so i called him. and the call lasted only 10 minutes (usually he goes on and on about conspiracy theories for like an hour). and this is what he said:

"you need to get back together with B!!! he's a good man. and it's rare in our day and age. there's a slavic genocide going on. and you guys have a problem with homosexuals in europe. and B represents gender values and he's a real man, which is so rare! sure, nobody's perfect i mean look at me. but B has more pros than cons. sure he's lazy, maybe he even goes to see other hoes from time to time. but nobody is perfect and your clock is ticking. you're 23 and healthy, it's the best time to have a child! if you're still unmarried at 30, people are gonna look at you weird. marriage is a status symbol, you know, it doesn't mean anything. you can get divorced. but being divorced at 30 is so much better than never having been married. it shows that you're a serious woman. and you should try to get back with him. organise a theatrical performance or something, i don't know. and tell him that the wedding's in may so he will be keeping busy organising everything. it's better to do things you regret, than regretting not doing things. okay bye!"

what the fuck.

[cherrypeaking]

good morning my love~ 🥺🩵 i hope you slept well!

after our last conversation i can’t stop yearning for a nice, lazy sunday together where we know we have nothing to do the next day so we take our time doing whatever we want~ that would be so perfect 🥺🥺 i’m having so many cute little domestic fantasies about you lately my love 🥺🩵🩵sometimes i wonder what we would do if you were in my room with me like what would be the first thing i’d show you? the state of my bedroom is nothing short of a sensory nightmare right now and the criminal at large (*that* txt poster 😒) still hasn’t been dealt with but i would be so eager to show you all my stuff like the part of my wall where i put cute candy wrappers and plane tickets or my taehyun pc binder or my plushie collection that puts kai’s to shame!! so many options hehe 🥺🩵 just the thought of showing you around makes me so giddy~

i was thinking about the fact that you’re a girly pop girl and i think you would love I AM by IVE it’s so you 💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾 something about it reminds me of hurricane hehe

(our little lost boys~ 🥺🥺 i love these pics so much temptation probably has my fave styling ever next to freeze (world version), i know you’ve probably told me this before but what’s your favorite era style-wise?)

period cramps still have me incapacitated along with a killer headache so i’m lying in bed listening to one of my many slow playlists and thinking about you~ i can’t wait for the day when i’ll be able to hold you in my arms, my love… 🥺 i yearn for it so much i can’t wait for our teleportation skills to improve so we can make that happen hehe 🥺🤭

i love you so much baby~ my cherry danish 🥺🥺 my little flower 🥺🌸🍒🩷

my love!! i slept well 🥺🥺🩷 i got woken up by my alarm tho which always kills me 😵‍💫 but i have no choice…

aaaah mommy 🥺🥺🩷 i get domestic thoughts when i’m cooking most of the time or showering 😳👉👈🩷 i would want us to chill like this without anything to do for the next day as well 🥺🥺🩷 oooh i’d love to see your room it seems so cute!! mine has nothing interesting i haven’t tidied it in so long and i really should :( i don’t even have txt posters on my walls 😭 but yeah… speaking of, i can’t get over that poster attacking you with taehyun smirking like he accomplished something big 😭😭 and beomgyu being his accomplice that’s so funny but i hate that it kept falling on you like >:( leave my wifey alone 🥺🥺🩷 i wanna see everything!!

i’ll try to listen to it asap!! i loved love dive by ive so i feel like i’ll like i am as well :3 hehe i feel like you might like koraci by hurricane actually since it’s a slower song and i love it 🥺🥺

WAAAAAH THE MOODBOARD IS SO PRETTYYYY 🥹🥹 i think i’d have to go for all eras!!

star - i think i like the ones where they’re at tables (idk the name of the concept rip 😭)

magic - arcadia!! 🥹 i love the darker look and the play with lights

eternity - starboard they look so cozy and mystical at the same time they’re night dream fairies 🥺🥺

blue hour - omg i do not remember the names but the first one where taehyun has like that crop top he looks SO babygirl 😭

freeze - WORLD WORLD WORLD i’ve always told you how much i love it they look like ice fairies!!! 🥹

fight or escape - green and black striped sweater all the way!! i love it 🤭 bbg tyun is always superior!!

thursday’s child - hate cause… 😈😏

temptation - lullaby i love it so much 🥺

gaaaah headache too? :(( i’m so sorry mommy i wish i had been there to help 😞 i’m glad you’re feeling better and i hope you get to sleep asap and that you’ll sleep well 🥺🥺🩷

i wanna hold you so much and cuddle my love 🥺🥺🩷 my sweet crystal gem 🥺🥺💎🩵🩷 i love you so much you’re my everything 🥺🥺😚🩷

[gospcl]

the girlies(sss)

BOTBOY: i am killing the hell out of these hot fries righ now LAVAGIRL: without me? ewww and also yuck BOTBOY: it's ycky without you LAVAGIRL: then why do it? why hurt me? this way? i can't survive? without ur hot love? don't hurt me this way? BOTBOY: lalalala some silly love songs i look around me and i see it isn't so LOVEGIRL(S): oh no LAVAGIRL: i fucking knew u would chime in there BOTBOY: he always does LOVEGIRL(S): i don't LOVEGIRL(S): not LAVAGIRL: what does that even mean BOTBOY: king of world play BOTBOY: word play* LAVAGIRL: eh is playing in my world so hard right now LOVEGIRL(S): okay ladies LOVEGIRL(S): no flirting with me in the group chat LAVAGIRL: lets take this outside ;) BOTBOY: lol LOVEGIRL(S): where do u want to go LAVAGIRL: anywhere... as long as its with u LAVAGIRL: im kidding though im not leaving my fucking apartment LAVAGIRL: where are u scoot LOVEGIRL(S): hahaha BOTBOY: im at the drug store LAVAGIRL: plug or pharmaceuticals BOTBOY: my plug works here LOVEGIRL(S): whats my name in ur phones LAVAGIRL: does he do house calls BOTBOY: no because hes not hot enough for u LAVAGIRL: i go for threes exclusively BOTBOY: u know i dont approve of that LAVAGIRL: u think i should go up to fours. i know. we've had this conversation BOTBOY: i just think u have levelled up recently facewise so u should start really going for fours LOVEGIRL(S): WHATS MY NAME IN UR PHONES LAVAGIRL: shut up three two fours are speaking LAVAGIRL: jay kay LAVAGIRL: its hot hot hot tongue emoji spicy-a meat-a-ball LAVAGIRL: it makes me giggle and hcuckle BOTBOY: mine is dante LOVEGIRL(S): i think what i love most about scoot is his commitment to the truth LAVAGIRL: are u implying that ur actually not a hot hot hot spicy-a meat-a-ball? LOVEGIRL(S): i would never BOTBOY: HES A SPICY-A MEAT-BALL LAVAGIRL: ._. BOTBOY: -A-* LOVEGIRL(S): u guys know im from hell right LAVAGIRL: what BOTBOY: what LAVAGIRL: what? LOVEGIRL(S): are u being racist or are ufetishing me/ LAVAGIRL: isnt that racist too LAVAGIRL: i cant keep up with these kids and theri new terminologies BOTBOY: what would u say is ur race LAVAGIRL: i can't believe we have never discussed this before LAVAGIRL: mine is chinese BOTBOY: ur asian bro LAVAGIRL: no, my race is chinese LAVAGIRL: second generation chinese-american BOTBOY: well MY race is asian LAVAGIRL: *gasp* LAVAGIRL: et tu? disowning ur family? ur just like mulan BOTBOY: when will my reflection show who i am inside BOTBOY: [https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/1024/branded_news/2EE5/production/_90750021_e527ed24-276f-4f58-8aa2-48654e898144.png] LAVAGIRL: i just pee d a little LOVEGIRL(S): i piddled LAVAGIRL: dante can u come over and sleep with me like a teddy bear while i piss my pants lightly and slowly over the course of the night BOTBOY: woah BOTBOY: thats a little 2 kinky 4 me LOVEGIRL(S): not for me LAVAGIRL: u just became a 5 LOVEGIRL(S): how do i become a 6 LAVAGIRL: u have to change my diaper BOTBOY: ive been doing tht for years LAVAGIRL: the magic is gone, i need someone new to sate my sick and twisted fantasies LAVAGIRL: im sorry scott BOTBOY: u only call me that when ur thinking of getting a divorce LOVEGIRL(S): just do it already u guys have been fighting like this for years LOVEGIRL(S): i was watching u in the hell pool LAVAGIRL: i really want to see this hell pool BOTBOY: i too would like to go for a dip LOVEGIRL(S): its not for swimming LOVEGIRL(S): its for watching LAVAGIRL: watching ppl swim? LOVEGIRL(S): yeah LOVEGIRL(S): ive been watching u guys swim around each other and not take the bite of the worm on the hook for years LAVAGIRL: i dont know what that means LAVAGIRL: somebody come over and play gta with me BOTBOY: ill be there in ten LOVEGIRL(S): am i uninvited LAVAGIRL: of course not LAVAGIRL: i want u to show me how to shoot again in that condescending and sensual tone of urs BOTBOY: oh jeez LAVAGIRL: sorry tht i cant be everything that u want me to be LOVEGIRL(S): ill be there in 5 to 6 minutes aproximately LAVAGIRL: aw yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. fuck a spped limit - me as a guy from gta

[mu-pt1]

falling ten feet for two days

im so sick of being this completely different person around other people. I never realized it before but now that im aware that im not acting like the person I truly am, it has made my life oh so more miserable than it was before. I pretend to be this happy loving person when really I get annoyed at the smallest things and resent specific people for no reason at all. I know, it sounds like im just trying to be different but I wanna be who I really am. I wanna show off my interests and my hobbies without people ridiculing me for it. sure, im genuinely a nice person but im not the kiss ass everyone thinks I am. sometimes I like playing petty tricks or saying small things to start up an argument between my friends. sometimes I even like pretending to be sad or sick in order to get attention. im not sure why I like the concern so much but it sort of fuels my ego in a way and gets rid of the thought that no one cares about me (temporarily of course.) I also hate being judged based off what I like or being made fun of because of it. yes, im super girly. I like songs without words. I like writing about teenage fantasies. I like dating even though ive never done it before and turn down every opportunity. I like going for hour long jogs. I like sitting around in the comfort of my own house all the time. I like waking up super early. and I like staying up late to listen to cringey asmr audios (even though I hate staying up past 2) and im a sucker for attention. and especially, I like being myself and dressing the way I wanna dress and acting the way I wanna act. people think that I act a certain way just because im black and if I dont act that way then I wanna be white. maybe I just am that way? anyways, here's a quote from a story ive been writing.

“I just dont get it. If im sad, why does there have to be a reason? If im sad then just let me feel that way in peace. I dont always have to have an excuse just to cry. Then it makes it seem like I have no reason to cry when im upset because theres nothing going wrong. Maybe im just feeling overcome with emotions and even I dont understand why im crying!”

[actualbird]

// cn server spoilers and n/s//f///w text

so in the current winter event in the cn server, mc has to debate against HERSELF

i do not know any chinese but ive been told that the name says "Me/I" so like. kajdkskdfkkdkdo girlie is now fighting her inner demons

it's resulted in some pretty hilarious fanart but i wanna make this concept horny because of course i will. like....... shadow!mc ala persona 4 where ur shadow!self manifests and tells you your deepest darkest desires

and shadow!mc goes to mc and is like "deep down you wanna GET RAILED BY ALL THE NXX BOYS. U CANT LIE TO ME, I AM YOUUUUUU!!!"

and then somehow shadow!mc and mc end up fucking while shadow!mc is telling mc aaaaaaall about those dirty fantasies shes been having every night

im saying clonefucking, yes.

clonefucking while the topic of discussion is a gangbang.

i cant write this bc i feel this concept would shine best as a vaguely horror tinged smut. and if i write this, i'll ram it straight into the absurd comedy smut zone as i always do JDKKDKFKKDKD