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misguidedasgardian · 21 days

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The Lifeaters (IV. 1)

IV. The Quidditch World Cup

MASTERLIST

Chapter Summary: You enjoy your summer alongside your family and friends

Pairings: Draco Malfoy x Fem!Reader (platonic)

Warnings: Cursing, magical objects, Mugglephobia, classism, charms and curses, MINORS DRINKING, underage drinking,peer pressure, might miss some warnings

Wordcount: 4 k

Notes: This is getting good! muahaha I think

Regulus Black was your father

He was handsome, you thought, as you gazed upon the picture of him and your mom, both in school uniform, Slytherin obviously

Both smiled at the camera, and they were together, he was wearing his Quidditch jumper, he was a seeker, and to make matters strange, you actually had a picture of him, it was the year the Slytherin won the Quidditch cup undefeated.

You never knew it, you had a picture of your father since first year.

Now that you knew, your aunt had given you a little box of keepsakes, that was your mother’s, and had pictures of your father, and things of her, there was still a lot you didn’t know, but this was surely a start.

You watched the Firebolt your uncle, -so weird-, Sirius had given Cercille to give to you. You had it on its own stand on a desk in your room. So he was the one who gave one to Potter, who apparently was his godson. What a small world

You still couldn’t wrap your mind around the fact that your uncle, your father’s brother, had been convicted for murder and had an order to be killed on sight by dementors, but that is another thing entirely. Was he innocent? like he claimed? maybe, your aunt seemed to think so.

“Allez petite-fille, nous devons y aller”, called your grandfather, who had spent all summer with you, you wanted to go to France, and you did, but you came back early… there was a huge event that you were of course attending, because your grandfather was such a fan, a fanaticism that he had inherited onto you

The Quidditch world cup

Tickets to all the major French and English games, top seats, appearings alongside Cornelius Fudge, and the French Minister of Magic, the Malfoys by your side of course, even though, it was clear to you that your grandfather was not a fan

“I’m going!”, he hated it when you spoke english to him, but, you were in England

You grabbed your bag, you were so, so excited for it, but you still had too much going on to really be invested in it.

“My beautiful granddaughter”, your grandfather appeared through the door, “are you ready, ma petite-fille?”

“Oui”, you said simply. He placed his hand on your shoulder and guided you down the hall

He hasn't spoken with you about your parents at all, he knew that you knew now some of the story, but still, he pretended like you still didn’t know

And that was fine.

You think

Because you still weren’t ready to talk about it, and in this month that had been by, in which you went to Paris for a few weeks and then came back, you haven't talked to your aunt, you couldn’t find a single memento to do so. You even hoped to meet Sirius Black when you got to Paris, which know you believed it to be silly, he could never had lingered in your family state in Montmartre

And this was not the time either

She had told you that it was of complete secrecy that Sirius Black had been in your house, that he used the VERY illegal international floo network that you had. So you swore to keep it to yourself, and since Sirius Black hadn't been in your house, you didn’t yet know about your father.

Regulus Black

You sometimes caught yourself saying it out loud whe you were alone, like a little prayer

Sounded so foreign and yet, so natural to you.

You were a Black

You know little of the family, but now everything seemed to click into place, the Blacks were one of the sacred 28, one of the most prominent and powerful wizarding families in Britain, you were as good as Wizarding Royalty, how insane that was?

This made sense

Your aunt Narcissa was indeed your aunt, because you knew she was a Black before she married Lucius and became a Malfoy

She was your father’s cousin, apparently, and that meant you and Draco were cousins twice removed. That was insane

Did they know?

They probably did, that is why they kept so close to you, as you heard your aunt say to Sirius

Sirius, your uncle, did not like you to be so close to the Malfoys

But why? Who was coming back? and why was it safer for you to be near them? well, they are very powerful, so, that made sense too

But still… so many unanswered questions

The sun was barely shining in the horizon when you left your house, your grandfather had insisted, he wanted you to walk towards Malfoy manor, and from there, you were going to travel to the place you were going to stay for the Quidditch world cup

“It is a beautiful morning, isn’t it?”, it was true, it was a nice morning, although still a bit cold. You had used a simple spell to make your baggage small, and like that, you could take it in your pocket, your big trunk, and you started the walk

You looked at your grandfather, walking by your side, and your aunt on his right side. He was one of the most powerful and influential men in Wizarding France, and yet, he preferred to walk to his destination.

To you, he had always been a bit mysterious

But you knew his temple of steel, he could be terrifying to those who crossed him, but he had never been like that with you, he was kind and gentle, with his “petite fille”

But like he said, he was part of a dynasty, an important family and as such, he had expectations of you and your aunt as well, you were to behave properly, look pleasant at all times and specially, excel at your field, whatever that might be. You were free to choose your own path, but you were meant to be great at it.

Your aunt was exceptionally good at potions and contributed to the family business, your grandfather was a prominent man in politics and you, well, that is to be determined

“I heard that you became the youngest animagus, probably ever!”, he said, smiling pleasantly, to make conversations

“I think I did grandfather”, you say happily

“You make me so proud”, he said with a big smile

“Thank you grandfather”, you said with a shy smile

The walk was pleasant, it took you only 45 minutes to reach the Malfoy state, the guards felt strong as you crossed them and the huge house appeared before you

“Désagréable”, muttered your grandfather

He did not like the Malfoys at all

They were waiting for you, in the foyer, you greeted Draco warmly as he did you. You haven't seen him in a month and a half, but he seemed different, he had stopped putting gel on his hair, now having it styled, and he was now taller than you. And by his side… Matthew, his hair was longer, more unruly, dark chocolate curls, and his eyes seemed even more mischievous.

“Guillaume”, greeted Lucius, taking your attention. Matthew looked at your grandfather wide-eyed

“Lucius”, greeted your grandfather, but then he turned to Narcissa, grabbed her hand and kissed it, “Narcissa”, he said softly, you and your aunt shared funny looks, “young Draco, and… friend”, he said dismissively

“I’m glad you are both here”, Lucius said, greeting your aunt and you, “shall we?”

“Oui, s��il vous plaît”, muttered your grandpa, signaling for you, your aunt, and Narcissa to guide the group, opening the door for you.

“The rest will meet us there, in ten minutes”, he said, watching his clock, you walked out of the guards of the state, and then you saw, over a small hill, a birdhouse, it was an odd object. You shared complicit looks

Guillaume looked at his own watched, looked at you both and touched the birdhouse, as Narcissa, Lucius and Draco, in mere 10 second, you were transported through portkey to your destination

The first game was tomorrow, today, you were going to get installed in…

“Are we really staying there?”, you asked, excitedly, in front of you there was a huge castle, bigger than you had seen before

“Is not bigger than Malfoy Manor”, said Draco contemptuously, uncle Lucius nudged him on his chest with his walking stick

“Yes my love, for the world cup”, said your aunt. This year, the Quidditch world cup was in Dartmoor, in the coast of Devon, and for the occasion, uncle Lucius and a couple of his friends had decided to… rent… this huge castle, so you could stay there and then easily apparate to the Trilenium stadium to watch the games, you were in for a treat as you were going to watch the French games, the English, Irish and Welsh, and even the Bulgarian ones, because they were this year’s favorites for the cup.

It was more than a month, and you were going to spend it here.

Pansy and her parents, Daphne, her younger sister, and their parents, Matthew, well, you didn’t know if his handsome uncle was going to be there, and Theo and his father, Vince and Greg and their parents were a no show this time, maybe they didn’t enjoy Quidditch

You were barely exploring the first floor when the rest showed up, and it took you another ten minutes to finish with the greetings

It surprised you really, the Parkinsons and Greengrass didn’t seemed to be quite enthralled in the Cup itself, but it was a nice castle and it served as a good vacation

“There are only 8 rooms”, said Lucius

“The girls will share, and the boys”, said Narcissa, and everyone agreed, you had the biggest rooms in the last floor

It was uncomfortable, as Cercille was single, and Theo’s father, and Matthew’s uncle and your grandfather

But it was funny as Morfin and Tiberius were forced to share a room because of it

From one second to the next the castle was filled with life, everybody had brought their house elves and they were walking, cleaning everything and cooking for the small army you had gathered. You could tell that uncle Lucius was not in his element, and this was clearly for Draco’s and your benefit, and of course of your friends

You were indeed a bit spoiled, as your grandfather was pleased with the Quidditch cup, but not with the staying arrangements, but he did it for you, as did your Aunt Cercille

The rest of the wizards were camping near the stadium, and it seemed more fun, but you were not complaining

You were happy to share with your friends, even more so knowing that you could sneak into your aunt’s room anytime it became, “too much”

You could barely sleep out of excitement, and the very next morning, you were the first one up, and it was funny to you that your aunt and grandfather were there in the dining room as well

The first game was the one of France against Peru, and it was going to be epic

You woke up the entire house by chanting the French Quidditch song, already dressed in the team’s colors. It was hilarious, they were not as happy

They played at noon

And sharing the prime box with the prime minister of France himself did not deter you, your grandpapa and aunt to yell and scream and grab onto the golden railings and yell obscenities at the referee. it was hilarious

A good start to the Quidditch cup, the stadium was incredible, apparently it took a long time to build and it was all golden and huge, more beautiful than the French one, even though you were not going to let your grandpapa hear that.

You went back to the house with your heart beating strongly, France had qualified to the next step of the competition and even though it wasn’t the opening game it was quite a turn up.

Later, at night, it was the first English game and it was going to be amazing, so you were preparing for that. You still had face paint in your face and the French Quidditch jumper on, you took a wrong turn instead of going up the stairs you ended up walking down the wrong hallway

“Why are you still here? you were supposed to leave!”, you heard Matthew, he was talking to his uncle. So, as the curious person you were, you stopped and listen

“I have my own reasons to stay, just like you”, you heard him answer, his voice was smooth and silky.

“Why?”

“Maybe even similar”, the door opened and you were discovered, standing in the corridor, they both looked at you, but instead of looking angry, they just smirked

“Sorry”, you muttered, and walked away hastily, Matthew, as any, didn’t like his “guardian” to stay and look over him of course

The opening game was incredible! it was Bulgaria against England, and even though it wasn’t good for the guests, it was one of the most incredible games you had ever seen.

You were so hyped you could barely sleep that night, even Daphne and Pansy were excited even if they weren’t the biggest fans

There was also Astoria, Daphne’s little sister, for only one year, but she was very sweet, and nice.

The entire event lasted a month, a whole month!

France was brutally eliminated out of the team stage of the tournament, in the round of sixteen, and even though they played beautifully, they were eliminated by Bulgaria. They were this year’s favorites to win the cup, so you better hope they go on and win the entire thing, to make it worth France’s elimination

Your grandfather was angry, so he went back home, promising to be there at your house when the whole thing was over, to spend the last two weeks of vacation before school starts.

You had certainly deflated since France’s defeat, you did not sing any longer and you had put your jumper away from sight. Your only hope was England but they were eliminated also.

But that didn’t quiet down the party all round the stadium.

They were people from all countries, places and cultures, it was funny as their teams were losing people left, but others came in instead. It was revitalizing, too see all those tents, of different sizes and colors

You had been around, but never like this, it was amazing!

And time flew by! The parents came and went, as a month of vacation was a bit much, but of course there was always more than one couple with their eyes set on the big group of kids.

They had placed rules in order, but… you always managed to sneak into the boys rooms, and vice-versa

“I stole a bottle of firewhiskey”, said Matthew one night, with a big grin, you found it risky, since tonight, it was his uncle in watch of you, your aunt, and Pansy’s parents

“Matthew!”, nobody knew what to say or do, as you exchanged looks, but Theo was quick into following his friend, grabbing the bottle

“Should we…?”, you asked shakily, you and Draco shared looks, the most you had ever drink was butterbeer, even though it had a bit of alcohol, it was still harmless, but firewhiskey was… something else entirely

“Don’t be such a wimp”, said Theo with mockery, you caught Pansy looking back at you with pleading eyes, begging you not to ruin this, she was still crushing hard on Draco.

“Oh, sure”, you said, Matthew had sneaked a small glass, and he took the first sip, Theo the second, and then they expected you to come near and drink it

You didn’t want to, but… you didn’t want to be the one to kill the party either

So when the small glass got to you, you drank its content without much thought. You almost threw up because of the sting in your throat, this was what adults drank for fun? It was disgusting!

Daphne and Pansy had similar reactions, but you were not backing down now, after everything

You each had one more “drink” before the bottle was half gone.

Your eyes were teary when you were done dawning the second glass of that thing

“Let’s play some games”, muttered Matthew who seemed all too kin on “doing things” tonight, you shared looks with Pansy, who in turn looked at Draco, you saw Daphne sharing looks with Theo, and when you looked back at Matthew you saw him looking back at you

Oh Merlin

Were you in a three for three kinda thing?

You didn’t know how to deal with this

“Let’s play spin the bottle”, one suggested

“How do you play?”, you asked innocently

“You don’t know how to play?”, mocked Pansy. You did know how to play

“I can guess”, you whispered. You didn’t want to kiss anyone, so when you all sat down on a round, theo had his hand on the bottle

You didn’t want to surrender your very first kiss to one of them.

Theo seemed to have charmed the bottle, because it landed on Daphne, they shared an awkward kiss, but they were both smirking at the end of it, then it was Draco’s turn, it landed on Matthew so they of course made him drink another glass of firewhiskey. But then, already with her head in the game, Pansy took matters into her own hand and made the bottle turn, and of course, it landed on Draco

He did not seem too much into it, but Pansy did, she was smiling widely as they pouted and joined their lips together.

Matthew grabbed the bottle, with a determined look on his face, and turned it, to nobody's surprise, not even yours, landed on you. You looked at him wide-eyed, and he had this silly look on his face

You did not want to back down, but still… your very first kiss…

But for the first time in the evening, luck seemed to be on your side, as your aunt, followed closely by Tiberius and Morfin opened the door with angry looks on their faces

“Really? Do you really think you could sneak out an entire bottle of firewhiskey? enchanting water instead? please, I invented that move”, she said angrily

Only those who were parents of the kids could parent, and your aunt took you away from the room to really go out on you, but she didn’t, not really, she only gave you a speech to not do anything you didn’t want to, and to not be pressured by your “peers”, even though if they were your friends.

Anyways, it was an exciting night!

Now you couldn’t even stand the looks Matthew gave you, like you owed him something

But to no consequence, because the semi and the finals had been, Ireland was playing Peru, and they were completely flattened, and Bulgaria played Transilvania, and the bulgarians totally destroyed them

The finals were set… Ireland VS Bulgaria.

You were cheering for the Bulgarias, you liked the players better, Draco went for Ireland, for sure, and you even brought in parchment, quill and ink the night before to really draw statistics and possible plays to see who might actually win. Win the Quidditch world cup

You almost had no problems from that night, except that know you were being watched at all times by Jolie, your aunt’s cat, and also, Lucius and Narcissa’s determined eyes

You were so excited, but sad it was ending, you had met the French players, taken a lot of photos that ended up in the Daily Prophet, and in French papers, and also, had the best time with your friends

Now everyone was back for the grand finale, Uncle Lucius and aunt Narcissa were escorting your aunt and you to the Minister’s box, the rest of the lot, had returned home, not staying for the Finals, which, to your knowledge, was the best game yet, as they were the best of the best, even though they weren’t French nor English

As you entered the Arena, to find your way to your own box, and there they were, the whole Weasley lot, with Potter and Granger too! you tried to ignore them, but Draco and uncle Lucius were in a fighting mood

“Dang it dad, how far up are we?”, one of the twins asked

“Well, look at it this way, if it rains, you’ll be the first to know”, mocked uncle Lucius, and you couldn’t help but giggle, as did Draco

“Father and I are in the minister’s box, by personal invitation of Cornelius Fudge himself”

“Don’t boast Draco, there is no need with these people”, said his father, but as Potter had his arm on the rail, uncle lucius was quickly to trap him with his cane, “do enjoy yourself, while you can”, he said seriously, your aunt grabbed you and directed you to keep walking, already done with the exchange.

“Ah Miss Basilik”, greeted Mister Cornelius Fudge, by his side, there was a tall and gruff man, “may I introduce the Bulgarian Minister of magic?”

“Nice to meet you”, greeted your aunt Cercille

“There is no need dear, he doesn’t speak english”, he said, bored, but the man kept looking at her and smiling

You all got to your seats, it was a privileged post, and you were so excited

“Welcome! to the Quidditch world cup final!”, said Fudge, with wand in neck.

Even Ludo Bagman came and narrated the game, you saw the team mascots, you had to grab onto Draco for him not to jump out of the box when the Veela showed up, it was quite funny

You and Draco were both grabbing onto the railings watching the game carefully

You heard your parents and even the minister mocking your enthusiasm but you couldn’t care less about it

This was… something else

The level of international players was something out of this world! you could barely see them gliding in the air, flying quicker than anything you had ever seen, all on Firebolts of course, the favorite broom for this tournament according to what every player was using.

You couldn’t help but laugh when the Irish seeker plummeted tot he ground twice trying to follow Krum

Oh Viktor Krum, he was a bonbon, very cute, sturdy…

Anyways back to the game

It was one of the greatest you had ever seen. So electric

The Bulgarians caught the snitch, but the Irish had scored so many times that they undoubtedly won the Final, the world cup.

The Irish! This was going to be a great year! Many of the students were Irish, the party was going to keep going!

The Bulgarians were also known for partying either way, rather for celebrating or to drown their losses.

So that is why you found so weird that your aunt grabbed you and made you leave the event as soon as the match was over

“I was hoping we could go to the camp and celebrate”, you and Draco said, but your parents were unmovable, you were to return to the last night at the castle and stay there.

Matthew, his uncle and Theo haden’t left yet, they were still there, and you also found it odd when they didn’t even kept an eye on you that night, they just let you be

You never would have thought the chaos that would ensue on the campsite only moments after you had your dinner in the castle.

That at the same time you sneaked into the boy’s room they were muggle being tied and suspended in the air

That as you with Draco had gathered the entire French and English tea’s figurines, that a group of people were terrorizing the camp.

You were never going to realize how close you were to said group

Until it was too late

#misguidedlifeaters #harry potter #harry potter fanfiction #hp fandom #death eaters #draco malfoy #slytherin #slytherin house #slytherin!reader

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avantguardisme · 10 months

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thank u to @bittersweetish for tagging me, answers below the cut!

last song i heard: happiness isn't a fixed state by kynsy! off of an in-progress vibes playlist for a fic i'm working on-- i havent actually listened to much music today (mostly podcasts) but i put this playlist on while i was walking down to get my mail earlier

currently watching: sex education on netflix! i finally got around to watching this show several years after it was originally recommended to me and i hate to admit it but it is, in fact, pretty good. ive been binging it for the past couple of days now and im having a good time!

currently reading: in an extremely strange turn of events for me, i am not actively reading anything at the moment! but i'm in the middle of a couple of books that i'm going to pick up again this week now that i finally have a little bit more time before school starts, namely the name of the rose by umberto eco and maria dahvana headley's translation of beowulf. oh and also i have a copy of persepolis i want to start reading!

current obsession: like tumblr user bittersweetish before me, also ace attorney! which ive been into the series on and off since i was a teen, but ive been back into it since the prequel series came out on switch and i started writing fic for it this past year. which is pretty big for me! i havent really actively written/published stuff before now and ive really been enjoying it. idk what it is about these silly little mystery games, but i find myself continually coming back to them and their characters and finding all of it deeply charming and compelling even at its most ridiculous. genuinely the only reason im not flooding everyones dashes with this constantly is because ive quarantined that insanity to my side blog @miafeystits

aaaaand tagging other people always stresses me out, so i'm just gonna say anyone who wants to participate can answer and say i tagged them!!

#tag games #txt #ari adventures

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onethousandandone · 1 year

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a tribute to teenage love

Throughout my life I have experienced many new emotions. Some of them I often hope are a one time- never do again type of emotion, but some are so euphoric I chase them like a drug addict that will do anything for their next hit. My drug is love, or the feeling of being wanted to be more precise. The feeling of pure content. The last time I remember being completely at peace was my junior year of high school- dating my first boyfriend (I was absolutely convinced we were going to be together forever; I haven’t spoken to him in over 2 years now), I had good grades, and okay friends. Before that was all I needed. Everything is just so much more complicated now. I hate it. I wish I could say “Ugh, I just wish I could be a little kid again”, but I don’t want to ever be a little kid again. My childhood was arguably worse then my current C+ at best young adulthood. I keep waiting for my life to turn some kind of new leaf, and to change and somehow become more manageable but I don’t think it ever will. I recently came to the realization that I am simply unlucky. Strange coincidences of people in my life dying on the same day, meeting my “dream” guy two months before I moved away to college, literally everything has a fucking catch. I wonder what its like for things to go your way, as obnoxious as it sounds. Sometimes I wish I had a different life, that I was born into a different family, or in a different city or just that anything could possibly changed in my life that would make living a little bit easier. But of course not, it’s just not for me, the easy life. I was born and bred to deal with the hardest shit someone possibly could, and just to learn to somehow suppress it to such an extent that even I myself forget some of the things Ive experienced. Easier that way I think; even if everyone says its unhealthy: if I pretend nothing happened, maybe it will magically disappear or I will just start forgetting the worst bits and pieces until someone will just have to remind me it happened in the first place. Being unlucky is maybe a good thing, because at this point, what is there left for me to be disappointed about? Ive seen it all, Ive felt it all. I wonder if I will ever feel my favorite feeling again. Love. So silly, so cheesy, but I get it now.

I have been in love 1 and half times. I say half because I started to feel that familiar feeling recently, but it was ripped away by the worst factor of all: time. I ran out of it, I had to move away, move on with my life. And now I must pretend that 0.5 of love never happened. That maybe I had just imagined him, his hair and the tattoos and the music and the sex. It was just a very detailed dream, and maybe i’ll start to forget it soon, but just not yet. I just woke up and I remember it vividly; remembering is tiring, maybe i’ll fall asleep and dream of something else soon. Now the majority of the love I remember was years ago, a dream I had that stuck with me. All consuming and crazy and toxic and aggressive and insane and : so in love. Him I forget now, I forget what he looked like and how he spoke and just everything about him. I think everything about me changed after Him. It was too much at 16, and I could never let myself do that again. Feel that way, let myself completely dissolve into someone. I almost let it happen the second time around, but I always knew in the back of my mind that I never could again. Another cliche, but I just truly wouldn’t survive it. I think losing myself in someone else again would strip away whatever sense of the pure and soft humanity I have left.

“I am nothing if not an incredibly soft woman“

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giorno-plays-piano · 3 years

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Vicious

Part IV

Pairing: Steve x reader, Bucky x reader, Thor x reader, Loki x reader, Peter x reader

Warnings: yandere, obsession, stalking, possessiveness, theft, all characters are adults.

Words: 1880.

Summary: Transferring to Stark Academy that has only allowed to take in female students last semester, you realize you are just one of three young women among hundreds of students. Your things are constantly being stolen, and soon you begin fearing for your safety.

Part I

Part II

Part III

_________

After you came back to your room, you got a message from Steve about changing the locks on both you door and your locker. You were so taken aback by today's conversation in the student council room that you had completely forgotten about it. Apparently, Steve had already requested the change of locks on your behalf through email, and you were really grateful to him for that: you dreaded coming back to the room that had been forced open. Of course, tonight you would have to move your dresser to the door so that nobody could enter when you'd be sleeping.

Shit. It was absolutely crazy.

"I'm not sure about all this, Steve." You texted him while laying on your bed and staring at your phone in the darkness of the room. "It doesn't seem right."

Naturally, you meant the fake dating thing. It felt horrible thinking of what others would think after seeing you with five different guys. Would they be calling you a whore in the open? Make some nasty jokes behind your back? Report you to the school administration for immoral behavior? Remembering those bigots from the student office, you cringed at the thought.

Besides, it still didn't make sense to you why you had to date all five. Sure, if they were around you at all times like your friends, these unhinged bastards who stole your things wouldn't do anything funny again, but it wasn't like that. What could one guy do against a group of other students?

"Listen, I didn't want to talk about it in class, but I'm worried it won't end with a stolen lingerie."

You didn't like his message.

"What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean. They might attempt something much worse than a theft."

Oh no. Was he talking about rape? Seriously? Did he anticipate others were so crazy they would do something like that?

But then again, girls were being raped in colleges even if it weren't the all-boys schools. A shiver ran down your spine.

"But if several people attack me, just one of you won't be enough." You typed with your shaky fingers, trembling beneath your blanket.

"It's not about the pure force. Each of us has a certain reputation, and others wouldn't want to cross us over because of it."

Wait, this was interesting. What on Earth did he mean? What kind of reputation was that to prevent people from messing with them?

"Thor is a good athlete and a great leader, his basketball team is ready to beat people to death for him."

"Loki's father is one of academy’s main sponsors, and he can have this school turned upside down if he wants to."

"Bucky is a threat by himself, but he also have a company of loyal friends."

"I don't think Peter is serious enough to scare anyone, but with his computer skills he could easily blackmail others, I’ve already seen him doing it. Students would be wary to cross him over just like any of us."

Steve was writing you a bunch of messages with a terrifying speed, and you could barely read the first when he was already sending you the second. It felt absolutely insane. Did he choose every guy because the more powerful admirers you have, the less others would intervene? Well, at least in case of Bucky and Thor who could beat people to near death, it was wise. You preferred not to think of Peter - you had no idea someone as sweet and caring as him did something as disgusting as a blackmail.

“But what others will think? 5 boyfriends? Others will think you are dating-” you paused, chewing your lips to bit, “- a whore. Nobody gonna stood up for me.”

"Imagine if each of us tells our friends that other four guys were just asked to watch over you, but you date only one.”

Oh. Yes, this was slightly better. Then you wouldn’t have to do something as bold as kissing every guy in public, instead maintaining the mystery who you were really dating.

Damn, how Steve even came up with this plan? Why was everything so complicated?

“It’s getting late. Good night.” Your phone vibrated again, and you huffed with irritation. You hoped you could ask him a bit more - about what you were going to do with the thieves Steve found, for example - but he was probably getting tired with all your questions. It was better to ask him tomorrow.

___________________

The next morning you were restless: since you were starting to going out with guys, you felt like you needed to look better than you usually were, so you spent your morning working on your hair and makeup. It was like fake dating, right? You had to pretend you wanted to look pretty for them.

What else did you have to do? Cook something sweet for them? Yeah, probably, but not at the start of your relationship. Going to cafe together? Helping each other study? Loki also mentioned the cinema...

You felt dumb. Of course, you dated guys before, but now you realized you had no idea how to act not to cause any suspicion. Oh boy, it was going to be a tough day.

Thor nocked at you door thirty minutes before your first session, but you woke up so early you were more than ready to go. As you opened the door, first moving the dresser back to its place, the guy looked at you with a puzzled expression on his face.

"Hey, what was that?"

"The dresser. I can't leave the door just like that until the lock is changed."

He blinked at you, watching the door and then probably remembering somebody forced the lock open to steal your underwear.

"These guys are batshit crazy." He mumbled and nodded you to go with him, putting his hand on your shoulder. "Don't worry, they won't do it again."

You wanted to argue they definitely would, but, seeing his warm smile, you thought Thor simply wanted to cheer you up and smiled at him in return. In the end, he was here only to make you feel safer: you didn't doubt he was very popular with the girls every time he went out to the city.

"You look great today!" He said sheepishly, walking in the dorm's corridor while other students were staring at him silently, obviously surprised to see you two together. "I mean, not that you looked bad yesterday, I just..."

Watching his face suddenly getting crimson red, you couldn't help but giggle at his expression. You could never think Thor was actually bashful around girls. Yeah, at your old place he'd definitely be one of the most popular guys around.

It was lunch time when you two could actually talk, sitting together at the same table and being watched by everyone around. Strangely, with Thor constantly talking and often rubbing your hand with his, it didn't feel suffocating, and you held your head high: regardless whether those pricks were looking at you, you weren't going to run away to your room and cry there like a little girl. Loki was right: you weren't a silly little sheep, scared of your own shadow. You wouldn't let anyone spoil your time in the academy you dreamt studying in.

Funny enough, Thor turned out to be a talkative type when he was speaking about basketball and his team in particular. He loved sports: while you were more into hockey, the way he talked was so enthusiastic it made you listen to him with a genuine interest. Thor's love for basketball was infectious.

He seemed a simple man, this giant bag of muscles who was laughing so loud people around him flinched; Thor wasn't the exact type of a guy you would encounter on your own, but he seemed nice, sincere, and surprisingly softhearted. You felt at ease talking to him, and soon you too acted like you'd known each other for long.

It was a pity you'd only met under this circumstances. It felt like you two could became friends.

But then when Thor absent-mindedly put his arm around your shoulders, you remembered Loki's warning: they would try to gain your favors. Was it the reason Thor was so nice to someone he just met? Wasn't it suspicious of him? You couldn't let your guard down after just one lunch together. In fact, you knew nothing of the man sitting in front of you.

"I knew something like would happen." Some guy to your left sighed loudly, catching your attention. "They were fucking crazy."

"I'm not surprised either. I just wanna know who they got in a fight with to be beaten like that. Have you heard they broke Gray's both legs?"

"Woah, both? That's brutal, man."

You shivered, trying not to listen to them.

"It'd happen sooner or later anyway. They were completely wild."

A word caught your attention right away: that was what Steve called those students who were stealing your things. Could it be a coincidence? Surely, in an all-boys school the students were fighting each other constantly.

But to the point of breaking both legs of someone? Really?

As you sent Thor a nervous look, he gently patted your shoulder, lowering his voice so no one would hear him, "I'm sure it's nothing to do with you. These things happen here from time to time because the guys have no idea what to do with all that testosterone."

You hoped he was right.

The rest of the day went as usual aside from Thor walking the corridors with you and chatting about sports: he managed to convince you to come see the game next month when they would be having a tournament. You were grateful to him for helping to ease your mind because the news of guys being sent to the ambulance made you shook. Steve also mentioned something about his and other's friends ready to beat anyone to death, right?

By the middle of your last class you couldn't think of it any longer and quickly typed a message to Loki. Of all people, right now he seemed the most sincere to you.

"Hi. Are the guys who were beaten last night are the ones who stole my things?"

Waiting was a special torture when you held the phone in your arms beneath your desk, hoping to see your screen lighting up with a message. In five minutes you got your reply.

"Yes." The message said simply, but it was enough for you to stare at your phone with horror, wishing you didn't ask Loki anything.

Oh shit. It wasn't a coincidence, right? It's impossible. Somebody did it on purpose. But who of the five?

"Do you know who did it?"

Next time he answered pretty fast, "No."

A part of you felt relieved. Maybe it wasn't related, finally. Maybe they got beaten by somebody who was fed up with their attitude because they were crazy as the guys in the cafeteria said.

But what if it weren't true?

"Who's the most brutal among you five?"

Biting your lips, you started rocking in your chair a little, making the guy on your left to roll his eyes in irritation.

The phone's screen flashed again.

"Barnes."

Part V

_________

Tags: @finleyjayne @alexakeyloveloki @helenaeisenhower @villanellevi @hurricanerin @inlovewiththefictionalcharacters @chris-evans-indian-fanfic @navegandoaciegas @rosalynshields @brattycherub @sllooney @angrythingstarlight @lookiamtrying @buckysbunny @soleil-dor @stargazingfangirl18 @dillybuggg @literate-lamb @cosicas-cuquis @sarge-barnes-sir @buckybarnesplumwhore @jaysayey @megzdoodle @gotnofucks @lux-ravenwolf @ximebebx @jeremyrennerfanxxxx123 @sourpatchspinster @biiskuitx @iheartsebandchris @lovelydarkdaydream @illyrianprincess @vampirestrawberries @stupendouslovegardener @goodgodimaweirdperson @frontmanash @freya-heya @yandematic

#steve rogers x reader #bucky barnes x reader #thor x reader #loki x reader #peter parker x reader #dark steve rogers #dark bucky barnes #dark thor #dark loki #dark peter parker #yandere

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homoose · 4 years

Text

Teach Me Something I Don’t Know: Part IV

Summary: The Halloween parade. Will and JJ are adorable. Anita suggests that Spencer become a classroom volunteer. Reader has a rough week.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader

Category: fluff, a smidge of angst

Warnings/Includes: none

Word count: 4.4k

a/n: I wish we’d seen more of Will and JJ as parents because I imagine it would be adorable and hilarious. Let’s see if you can guess all of their costumes before the reveal lmao. Your only clue is that Spencer loves keeping with a theme and the brown vest (I literally learned how to make my own shitty gif bc I couldn’t find the right one in the search and I do not understand embedding lmao) makes an appearance.

Series Masterlist

———

“Did you grab the bags?” JJ swept the pleated, platinum braid out of her face as she bent over to zip up her boots.

“No, I thought you did,” Will called, bouncing down the stairs.

“I put them in the car already,” Spencer informed them, popping his head back in the front door. “There was just the one box, right?”

“Yeah, that was it,” Will confirmed. “Shit— where’s Michael’s sword?”

“Should be on the counter,” JJ huffed, standing up and adjusting the bodice of the blue dress.

“Got it.” Will came around the corner of the kitchen, patting his hips where his pockets would be— if he weren’t wearing an adult-sized onesie. “Keys?” Spencer held them up. “All right then, let’s get this show on the road.”

The trio headed to the waiting SUV, Spencer climbing into the backseat as Will and JJ got into the front. Will and JJ chattered on about dinner plans and schedules for the following week, and Spencer smoothed down the brown wool vest layered over his white linen shirt. He’d spent entirely too long putting together the costume over the last week (with a little help from Penelope). He’d scrapped the Spock getup he’d been working on since September— he could always wear that next year. But he’d only get one chance to attend the Room 105 Halloween parade, and once the idea had wormed its way into his brain, he had to make it happen.

“Spence?” JJ’s voice pulled him from his thoughts.

“Hmm?”

“Would you be able to pick Michael up on Monday?”

He ran his hands down his thighs over the mint green cropped trousers. “Sure, as long as we don’t have a case.”

Will smirked at him in the rear view mirror. “How’s Ms. Y/L/N?”

“You’re about to see her yourself, so you can ask,” Spencer replied.

Will laughed, and JJ turned in her seat. “Whoa, coming in hot with the snark. You really do like her.”

Spencer fought and failed to keep the blush from rising, irritation at being teased blooming sharp inside his chest. He tried to shrug as nonchalantly as possible. “She’s a great teacher.”

“That’s not a no,” JJ noted, eyebrows raised.

“She’s Michael’s teacher,” Spencer said, like it meant something.

“Yeah, so?” Will shrugged his shoulders. “You’re his godfather. Technically, you’re not related, so it wouldn’t be breakin’ any rules.”

“Well, it’s not like that, so it doesn’t really matter,” Spencer insisted.

Will hummed and JJ turned back around in her seat. Spencer drummed his fingers on his knees and watched DC roll past through the SUV window. It really wasn’t like that. Y/N was just… very nice. A nice, beautiful, sweet, silly kindergarten teacher that he couldn’t stop thinking about no matter how many books he read or coffees he drank or chess games he played.

Monday was the last day of his sabbatical, and he was even more relieved to be headed back than usual— grateful that he’d have something to occupy his mind other than her. Because his mind was, indeed, occupied. The way her smile beamed like the spotlight on a stage, illuminating whoever happened to be on the receiving end. The way her hands moved in unbound, buoyant illustrations of her thoughts. The way her laugh felt like the first warm sip of tea or the wrap of his favorite scarf. It was getting out of hand, to say the least.

Will pulled into the parking lot, and instantly Spencer’s palms began to sweat. He glanced at the headband on the seat beside him and felt the mortification clawing at his insides. The costume was ridiculous; he was ridiculous. He should have just worn the Spock outfit.

Maybe he could just wait in the car and pretend like he hadn’t been able to make it. Or he could just leave the headband in the car. But then he’d just be in mint green capris with a sweater vest and platform sandals, and she’d have absolutely no idea who he was supposed to be. Then he’d have to explain it, and it would be even worse.

Will parked the car, and he and JJ immediately stepped out. Spencer watched them near the hood of the SUV, enjoying a rare moment of co-parenting without work hovering right out of frame. Will pulled the hood of the onesie up and JJ laughed, brushing her hand over the brown fabric twigs sticking out of the top. He supposed that if Will Lamontagne, Jr. could strut his stuff in adult footie pajamas, his handmade costume was probably all right.

With one last resigned sigh, Spencer slid the headband on. He grabbed the box of Halloween treats, opened the door, and hauled himself out of the vehicle. He pushed the door closed and looked in the reflection of the window, adjusting the headband around his curls and blowing out a breath.

“Ready?” JJ called, peering around the side of the SUV.

“Yeah—yeah,” Spencer agreed. He moved around the vehicle to join them, the three of them walking to find a spot in the crowd of parents standing around the carpool loop.

When they found a suitable spot, Will looked up at him and shook his head. The sandals added three extra inches to Spencer’s height, putting him a good six inches taller than Will. “Those shoes make you look like an actual giant,” Will chuckled. “I know that’s the point, but I feel like even more of a shrimp next to ya now.”

Spencer set the box of candy bags on the ground and would have shoved his hands into his pockets if the linen trousers had any. Before he could respond, JJ pointed to the door of the school, cooing, “Oh my god, look. Remember when the boys were that small?”

The PreK classes came out first, and Spencer could acknowledge that they were very cute, barely out of the toddler stage and holding hands with a line buddy. But he was waiting on a very specific cutie.

He’d barely had the thought when the kindergarten classes started to emerge from the door. He almost didn’t recognize her at first— just an orange blob and green shrubbery. But the converse gave her away.

“How is she so cute?” JJ threaded her arm through Will’s. “Even when she’s dressed as a giant orange blob.”

“It’s a gift,” Will agreed. He glanced up at Spencer. “Right, doc?”

Spencer nodded but didn’t take his eyes off Y/N. “I think so, yeah.” Will grinned and bumped JJ’s shoulder, but Spencer barely even registered his own response.

Thankfully they’d picked a spot near the very end of the loop, so he had plenty of time to get himself together before she was in front of him. While Will and JJ waved at all the tiny superheroes and princesses, he watched Y/N. She was all orange fabric from her shoulders to her knees, with bright orange Chucks to match. On her head was a strange variation on a party hat, bright green ferns sprouting from the tip of the cone and falling into her face. She looked absolutely ridiculous and entirely adorable, and he was in so much trouble.

When the class finally approached the final curve of the loop, Will nudged Spencer and gestured to the box of goodie bags. Spencer crouched down and lifted the box, standing back up to see Y/N laughing at Will and JJ. “Very cute, Lamontagne Family.”

Her gaze traveled across, then up, and then her eyes went wide and her mouth fell open. Spencer wondered if maybe the earth could just open up and swallow him whole.

“Oh my god, are you—?” She stepped forward and ran her hand lightly over the vest, and he didn’t dare breathe. “Are you the BFG?!” Her hand dropped from his torso, and he didn’t have time to be disappointed before her face split into quite possibly the biggest smile he’d seen from her yet.

A tiny Superman shouted, “Ms. Y/L/N, we’re making a gap!”

Y/N came back to herself, gesturing to all three of them. “Don’t go anywhere.” She accepted the offered box of treats from Spencer and then turned to help her class catch up.

Will gave him a look. “It’s not like that, huh?”

“Oh my god, she likes you.” JJ clapped her hands together. “This is amazing.”

“I’m takin’ credit for this,” Will bragged. “I’m a regular ol’ matchmaker.”

Spencer couldn’t even be bothered to attempt a denial. He was still thinking about the feel of her palm on his chest, how it might feel to hold her hand, the way her eyes practically sparkled when she saw his ridiculous headband. He was in so much trouble.

Fifteen minutes later, the classes filed back out into the parking lot for dismissal. Y/N led the class down the sidewalk, grinning at the excitement coursing through her line. As they approached the end of the loop, Y/N caught sight of them and waved. The kids lined up in their normal spot, chatting excitedly about their costumes and candy bags.

“Lord, Ms. Y/L/N, you’re something else,” Will laughed.

“Is it not the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever seen?” She laughed and tapped the green shrubbery hanging in her face. “I have the kids do a little persuasive writing thing every year. They draw a picture and write a sentence about what they think Ms. Y/L/N should be for Halloween, and then we take a vote.”

She waved her hands in that way Spencer loved, the way that was so similar to his own. “Usually the options are pretty tame, you know—ghost, witch, bumblebee. This year was a near tie between runner-up Jojo Siwa and well,” she gestured at herself, “carrot.” Y/N cackled, and the leaves on top of her head shook with the action.

They all laughed along with her, and then JJ added, “The details are truly incredible. Is this an actual plant on your head?”

“I really thought about it,” Y/N laughed, “but no, it’s just fake ferns stuffed into a cardstock funnel.” She gestured at Will and JJ. “But also, excuse me— this family costume is ridiculously cute. Mr. Lamontagne, loving this onesie. Mrs. Jareau, I didn’t even know it was possible to look prettier than you usually do, but here you are. And Michael’s Anna costume?” She held her hands up. “Incredible. Show stopping. I wish I had an aunt Penelope to enlist the help of, because that cape is the actual height of fashion.”

“She helped Spence, too,” JJ prompted, stealing a glance in his direction.

“Oh yeah?” Y/N asked, turning to smile at Spencer.

“We um, 3D printed the ears,” he clarified.

“No way!” She took a step closer to him, peering up at the detail on the headband. He leaned down a little for her to get a closer look. “That is so cool. I’ve never actually seen anything 3D printed up close before— did you design them yourself?”

She met his eyes briefly, and he realized how close they were— close enough that he caught the faintest whiff of sandalwood and cardamom. Of course she even smelled like warmth and home. “Well. I, um— I drew a sort of sketch, I guess. And then Penelope did the software coding. I— I’m not very good with technology, honestly.”

She ran her fingers lightly over the plastic, and he decided she was really trying to kill him. “Yeah, I’m not sure I really understand how it works.”

“Well, first you create a blueprint file of the design you want to print, which you can do through modeling software or three-dimensional scanning. Then you convert the file into an STL file— named for Stereolithography which was the first ever 3D printing process. The STL file is made up of triangular mesh polygons, which is the data that describes the surface of a three-dimensional object. After that, you use a software program to complete the process of slicing— essentially dividing or chopping the 3D model into hundreds or thousands of horizontal layers that the printer can print one at a time to create the 3D object. And then the printer prints each layer until you have your finished product.”

Y/N was quiet, and he pulled back to see her grinning at him. “I thought you said you weren’t very good with technology?”

“I’m not good with using technology,” he clarified.

She nodded. “Gotcha. So you just know everything about it.”

Her joking tone had a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “I read a lot.”

“How much is a lot?”

“I can read at a rate of 20,000 words per minute, so… a lot.”

Her eyebrows shot up into the tangle of ferns on her head, and he was just so overwhelmed by how adorable she was. “Well, if I ever have a question about anything, I know who I’m coming to.”

He was sure he was blushing, but he couldn’t really bring himself to care. “I’m happy to answer any and all of your questions.”

She let her gaze travel over the rest of the costume. “Oh my god, the sandals! Man, you really nailed it. I’m very impressed.”

“Thank you.” He cleared his throat. “I thought about being Trunchbull, but I couldn’t find the sweatshirt,” he joked.

She laughed, and he wanted to bottle it up to keep forever. “As much as I would have loved to see your hair in a bun… you’re much too sweet to have been able to pull that off.” She smiled softly at him. “Much more suited to our friend the BFG.”

He rubbed a hand down the back of his neck, and it was only then that he realized Will and JJ had gone to the car. He looked back to Y/N, opening his mouth but unsure of what he was going to say.

“Y/L/N!” He turned his head to see Anita jogging toward them. “Did you—” The giant cardboard box she was wearing knocked into one of the few kindergarteners left in Y/N’s line, nearly sending them to the ground. “Oh my gosh, sorry sweetheart!” She righted the startled child, and Spencer gave her a once over, completely at a loss as to what her costume could be.

“What in the world are you supposed to be?” Y/N asked, choking out a laugh.

Anita looked at her deadpan. “A monopoly piece. Remind me that I’m never participating in team costumes ever again.” She rolled her eyes and gestured at Y/N. “Next year I’m gonna wear an orange t-shirt, call myself a carrot, and be much more comfortable.”

“I’ll have you know this costume was a lot of work,” Y/N remarked, crossing her arms.

“I’m sure it was. You could have put on an orange dress, stuck a green pipe cleaner in your hair, and called it a day, but that’s not the Y/L/N way.” Anita’s eyes slid across to where Spencer stood. “Well, hello, doctor. I have absolutely no idea what you’re supposed to be, but I love everything about it.”

“Spencer’s the BFG,” Y/N said, and Spencer could have sworn she sounded almost proud.

“Ah, Roald Dahl, of course.” Anita smirked. “I see you, Spencer. I see you.” She put her hands on her hips— or rather where her hips would have been if they weren’t covered by a ridiculously large box. “So, when are you going to volunteer?”

“Sorry?” he asked.

“Like, when are you going to volunteer in Y/L/N’s classroom?” She held up her hand, palm down, and made a circular motion between the two of them. “You know, hang out, but professionally.”

“Oh my god, did you need something?” Y/N’s squeaked, eyes wide.

Anita ignored her. “You just have to do a background check, but I’m sure you’ll pass it.”

“Lopez,” Y/N said, staring her down. “Do you need something?”

“Oh, I was just going to ask if you got the email about the PD after school on Tuesday. But this was much more fun.” She winked at Spencer. “Bye, Spencer.”

They both stared after her as she nearly skipped across the grass to the building. Y/N turned to him. “I’m— so sorry.”

He met her eyes and took the leap. “Volunteering could be fun.”

He watched her press her lips together to contain her smile. “It could be.”

He didn’t bother containing his own. “I’ll um— I’ll shoot you an email.”

“I’ll respond to your email.”

…

When he walked in the door, Spencer made a beeline for his desk. He opened his laptop and pulled up his email account, writing as fast as his one-finger typing would allow.

Spencer Reid Re: Volunteering

Hi!

I’m just following up about volunteering. Anita mentioned a form that I needed to fill out? Now that I’ll be back to work, I’ll just need to plan around the BAU schedule. Could you give me a list of days that would work for you?

Really looking forward to seeing you in action.

Spencer

He checked his two other email messages, and then left the browser up while he thumbed through his most recent reading material.

He sat at his desk for the remainder of the afternoon, distractedly perusing his book and glancing at his empty inbox every minute or so. His gaze flew up to the screen at the ding of a new message at 6:30, only to find a promotional email from one of his favorite indie bookstores.

He closed his laptop with a sigh. It was a Friday night. Y/N probably just didn’t check her email on the weekend. He could wait until Monday. He’d see her on Monday.

He limited himself to checking his laptop twice a day on Saturday and Sunday. When Monday rolled around, he checked it in the morning. He leaned back against the leather of his chair, staring at the empty inbox. He had some errands to run, and for the first time in his life, he wished he had a phone that had email on it.

He ran his last-day-of-sabbatical errands and stopped in at his favorite coffee shop for most likely the last midday, sit-down coffee he’d have for a while. Before he realized, it was 2:30. He brought his empty mug to the counter and waved to the barista. Then he walked to the car and prepped his conversation starters.

“Did you get my email? I sent you an email, just wondering if you saw it? Hey— Hello— Hi, I wasn’t sure if you got my email.” He blew out a breath. “Hi. How are you?” He waved his hand. “I’m great. Did you get my email?” He laughed into the empty car. “Ridiculous, Spencer. You’re ridiculous.”

When he pulled into the parking lot, his heart was racing and his palms were slipping against the steering wheel. He pulled around the loop, looking with a furrowed brow at the area where Y/N should be. In her place was a short woman with cropped grey hair. She held a clipboard and looked generally overwhelmed.

Michael sprinted to the car as soon as he saw it. He pulled open the door and let out a world weary sigh. Spencer turned in his seat. “Everything all right?”

“No, everything is terrible,” he huffed dramatically. “Ms. Y/L/N was sick today. Mrs. Franklin was our substitute, and she smells weird.”

Spencer looked through the window at Mrs. Franklin, struggling to keep a few rowdy boys in the line. “I’m sorry, buddy. I’m sure Ms. Y/L/N will be back soon.” He was secretly relieved that he had a potential explanation for the unanswered email.

“I can’t take another day of Mrs. Franklin,” Michael sighed, buckling his seatbelt. “I hope Ms. Y/L/N’s back tomorrow.”

Spencer let out a breath and pulled away from the curb. “Me, too.”

…

JJ huffed out a breath, glaring at the stack of paperwork in front of her. Spencer was nose deep in a book, but he glanced up at the sound. “I can take a few of those if you want,” he offered.

“No, it’s fine,” she sighed. “I’ve really only got six left.”

He looked at his watch. “Each report takes you approximately 37 minutes. With eight minute breaks in between, you’re not going to be out of here until almost 6:00.”

JJ laughed. “I can’t believe I missed out on these scathing performance reviews for thirty days.”

“Suit yourself.” Spencer dropped his gaze back to his reading.

His first week back from sabbatical had been uneventful to say the least. The team had just wrapped a local case, and they’d spent the better part of the week going over consultations and potentials. It was finally Friday, and Spencer was finished with his stack of backlogged reports.

He was finishing the last chapter of the book when JJ dropped a string of quiet curses. He continued reading, waiting for her to ask. She was quiet for another minute.

“I forgot I’m on duty to pick Michael up today.” Spencer looked up at her, slight panic coming over him.

“I really don’t mind finishing your reports,” he offered.

JJ raised her eyebrows. “What, no offering to visit Ms. Y/L/N?”

Spencer closed his book. “I, um. I sent her an email a week ago, and she hasn’t responded.”

“So?”

“So…” Spencer ran a hand through his hair. “That’s weird, right?”

JJ laughed. “You don’t really use email, so I’d imagine your inbox is pretty orderly. But if you use it a lot, it can be easy for messages to get lost.” She looked at him pointedly. “I can almost guarantee that she’s not ignoring you, Spence.”

He sighed. “I guess there’s a quick way to find out.”

...

Spencer drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, watching the door of the school. He glanced at the clock, noting the class was later than they’d ever been. Without really understanding why, he pulled out of the loop and swung back around to park in the lot. He exited the car, and as he rounded the hood, he spotted them.

Y/N was at the front of the line, hands stuffed in the pockets of her jacket and mouth pressed into a thin line. The line behind her was unlike he’d ever seen it. No waving arms, no smiles, no giggles. Twenty small bodies followed behind her with absolute and total solemnity, and he felt uncomfortable just watching them. It would have almost been funny if it wasn’t so dramatically out of character.

The line weaved around the more rambunctious classes, maintaining their grave expressions and quiet pace. They reached their spot on the sidewalk, and Y/N didn’t even have to say anything. Spencer watched as the line took their spots behind her. She held one hand up to acknowledge parents as they pulled up, murmuring stoic goodbyes to students as they headed to their vehicles.

He hung back at the hood of the car until the majority of the class was gone, slowly making his way across the parking lot. Y/N’s line of sight was pointed in his direction, but her eyes were unfocused in the afternoon sun. He could see the moment that she registered his presence, her eyes widening slightly and bottom lip releasing from the place she’d been absentmindedly chewing. She shifted her weight as he closed the final few feet between them.

“Hi.” She held a silent hand up in greeting. He clenched and unclenched his fingers. “Rough day?”

“It’s not always sunshine and rainbows, despite what everyone thinks,” she snapped. She blew out a breath and rolled her eyes up to the perfectly blue sky, mocking her mood. “I’m sorry. Yes, it was a rough day.”

“You don’t need to apologize.”

“You don’t deserve my wrath.” She gestured vaguely in the direction of the students. “They didn’t either, but— too late for that.”

He watched as she lowered her head back down, rubbing a hand over her face. He desperately wanted to slay whatever dragons had given her normally brilliant eyes such a grey cast. “You have strong relationships with them, and kids are resilient. I’m sure they know you—”

“Please— don’t.” Her voice was thick, and she looked at him with desperate eyes. “I— I appreciate the thought, but I’m— I’m a frustrated crier.” Her shining irises proved her point. “And I’m just— I’m really just trying to keep it together for the last four minutes of my contract time.” Her words were practically a whisper, and she swallowed thickly and glanced down the line, just Michael and one classmate left, eyes downcast.

“I understand.” Spencer shoved his hands in his pockets to keep them from reaching out and touching her. “I’m sorry. I— I hope your weekend is better than today.”

Michael slowly left the line, murmuring a quiet goodbye to Y/N. Spencer put a hand on his shoulder and steered him toward the car, stealing one last glance at a crushed Y/N.

...

Y/N Y/L/N

Re: Re: Volunteering

Hi,

I meant to respond to this email, and then a bunch of things happened, and then I was out all week.

I don’t know if you even still want to volunteer after this afternoon, but it felt rude to not respond at all.

I’ve attached the background check form to this email in case you’re still interested.

Y/N

1 Attachment: Background Check

—

Hi,

I meant what I said this afternoon. Your students love you, and they know you love them. If my conversation with Michael in the car was any indication, they’re feeling rightfully embarrassed and guilty about their behavior while you were out.

Regardless of what happened today, your relationships with your students are strong enough that they will come to school tomorrow knowing that you still care about them. Children don’t hold onto things nearly as much as adults.

It would be a privilege to volunteer in your classroom, even on the worst day.

Spencer

1 Attachment: Background Check - Spencer Reid

—

If I wasn’t already crying, I would be now.

Thanks for that.

No sarcasm intended. Really. Thank you.

—

This might be inappropriate, and if it is, please just pretend like this email doesn’t exist.

I have a favorite cafe in the DuPont circle area, Soho Tea & Coffee. They have an excellent tea drink made with honey and milk that I like to order whenever I’ve had a particularly difficult day.

If you’re up for it, it’s on me.

———

Tags: @spacedikut @uhuhuh @itsametaphorbriansblog @90spumkin @blameitonthenight21 @magenta145 @annesauriol @watermelongubler @ampal98 @rainsong01 @meowiemari @mrsmyaweasley @mggsprettygirl @ceeellewrites @coffeeandendlesswords @daybabyx @joalsglasses @chevyimpala00067 @misshale21 @sapphic-prentiss @danifaithkae @saspencereid @heyitssomegirl101

Permanent tags: @andiebeaword @averyhotchner @pinkdiamond1016 @shadyladyperfection @coffeeandendlesswords @justanothetfangirl @no-honey-no @ajeff855

#spencer x reader #spencer x y/n #spencer x you #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid imagine #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds self insert #homoose writes #TMSIDK

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im-so-stuupid · 2 years

Text

lets be friends lol

heyyy, my name is monse but you can call me Mo. i’m an 18 y/o mexican american w ADHD, i think that sums me up ok.

i’ve posted something like this two years in a row so let’s just make it a tradition :)

i’m about to graduate highschool and i’m honestly scared. my first post to try and make friend was about liking one direction, harry styles, and some other stuff i’ve forgotten, last years post was about me liking Minecraft youtubers and all that, but it’s safe to say those are no longer my main hyperfixations. i’m always down to talk about the minecraft community (the good and bad),the toxicity of the internet in general, and to discuss important topics overall, though, my current obsession is now percy jackson again.

To all of the seniors going through tough times right now and are feeling lost,scared, and not ready, i feel you. if you need someone to hear you out just hit me up. really, as dumb as you think you sound or feel, feelings are feelings. dealing with mental illness and other unhealthy habits at this point makes me feel a little bit helpless and scared to move on from high school, but i have to remind myself that i am not alone in this, that other people understand this feeling too. so im here for you, and proud of all of us who have tried our best to make it to graduation.

but anyways,,, let me tell you about me and my relationship with PJO

i loved percy jackson when i was in middle school and it was my whole childhood. i never finished the heroes of olympus series because i think i was scared to have it all come to an end. Now that i’m a senior about to graduate i’ve decided to reread the books and finally finish the series, and i need people to talk to about the books :D i think finishing this series is the closure that i need, but i feel like many people (especially seniors) are going through tough spots right now and if you need someone to talk to and if you are willing to hear me rant about percy jackson once in a while don’t be shy to hit me up! just a “hey” to start a convo and it can lead somewhere

and of course pery jackson isnt the only thing ive been liking recently,if you want to talk music im always open to reccomendations! currently ive been back into tyler the creator but i think he might just be my all-time fav, rex orange county being a close second though, ive also been listening to panic at the disco again lmfao mostly the first two albums tho because they are the best (i don't accept criticism on this), and i guess ive been listeing to some mac miller, will wood, glass animals, harry styles, declan mckenna, and a bit of carseatheadrest loll.

i like minecraft, geoguessr and tbh i love playing fortnite because i suck and its really funny to do dumb shit so im down to game if you want. (i also have stardew and terraria if anyone would like to play with me). if you can teach me or want to learn how to play chess with me that would be sick tooi also quite enjoy crafting, i occasionally like to crochet, make friendship bracelets,make silly little clay things,draw, and paint.

I dont watch many shows or movies but i am really fucking excited for the new season of the umbrella academy to come out and for the new doctor strange movie as well, like SO excited. and ofc the PJO series that is in the works AHHH. my current fave youtubers are the sturniolo triplets and the only podcast i watch/listen to is the chuckle sandwich podcast but i do love emergency intercom as well.

so yeah, hmu if you wanna chat about anything and everything, all of the time ;) (also i forgot to mention that im gay but if you are homophobic please leave)

April 14, 2022

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stanharu · 3 years

Text

beastars episode 24 thoughts!

this post got kinda long i have Many Thoughts on this one

Overall I had fun watching this ep but I could really tell it was rushed and there was so much that got cut, which makes me super sad. our fears about the finale having pacing issues due to all the added scenes & rearranging were confirmed & it rly sucks, but i'll elaborate more on that in a bit.

this week's ep covered the end of chapter 92, chapters 93-97, and included small bits of chapters 98 & 99.

so the ep starts with the ED and the latter part of the tunnel scene with ibuki and louis. i liked the visual effect they used to show that they were in the dark. louis' voice acting was also On Point. for the most part i think this scene was done pretty well but I can tell it's being rushed also. I really wish we got more buildup and narration instead of just jumping straight to ibuki telling louis to shoot him. the way it is in the anime feels less impactful imo.

also im sad we didnt get to see this in the anime

before i move on, i wanna talk a bit about louis and his relationship w/ the shishigumi and ibuki. i feel like in the anime quite a few of the lil moments that really endear you to the shishigumi and also ibuki were either cut or kinda glossed over, which is strange to me considering how much effort and care went into the ED. it's very emotional and good but i feel like maybe anime onlies are missing out only seeing the anime and the MV. but idk.

legosi and riz's fight was quite rushed as well. there's so much narration and dialogue missing from it and that really rubs me the wrong way. It wasn't all bad but compared to the manga I just don't think it's as good. I will say tho that I really liked the sequence w legosi and the moths. I thought it looked really nice and was pretty well done.

also i liked how the backgrounds had some anti-yahya graffiti, its a nice touch imo

it says "high quality horse meat"

I was happy to see legosi do the "tell me more" pose but I'm honestly disappointed that the anime took out the whole exposition about why legosi did it. like i feel like without that it's just legosi being weird when he has a reason for it!!! This is just one example of the anime taking out crucial narration during the fight.

I also think it's kinda weird how they changed how louis shows up at the fight. im not sure how i feel about riz just charging at him like that, but i liked how legosi kicked him before they ran lol.

i dont have much to say about pina's small scene but I did wanna say that during my first watch thru of the ep i was too distracted trying to read the graffiti behind him that i didn't notice him getting his phone out of the dumpster and calling the cops lmao

it says "devour yahya"

and now... here we are... the predation scene.

overall i thought it was pretty well done but, like the rest of the ep, i could tell it was also being kinda rushed. some important beats werent given enough time to really sink in, and there's a few bits of narration taken out of this part as well that i find disappointing :^(

tho i did like how the anime called back to this scene in s1 when legosi mentions utilizing his strength.

also this part where louis is remembering ibuki had me like😭

I also really liked seeing louis cry. I was crying too sjdflskjdflsjkdf. i thought that scene was really good, its prolly my favorite part of the ep tbh. getting to hear the whole predation scene voiced made me kind of a mess lol. i really liked louis' expressions throughout this whole ep too. studio orange used their whole louis expression budget on these last 2 eps lmao.

seeing legosi instantly get all beefed up was great too. he looked a little ridiculous but i kinda loved it lol. he's so huge and poofy. i love him.

big pomeranian

anyway, im also sad they took out louis' line about being reduced to a flashback character lol. instead he tells legosi "be a hero" again which... im not sure about that change. i liked the part with riz thinking back about tem tho. tho imo the way riz realizes he's in the wrong feels pretty sudden. again adding to how rushed the whole ep feels.

before i move on again i just wanna say legosi looks so cute. even all puffed up and covered in blood. how does he do that

baby boy baby. i wanna ruffle his cheek floofs.

i think one of the things im most disappointed about from this whole ep was how the fight got wrapped up. i really like how the cops show up and totally shift the tone in the manga jslkdfjskljdf. im also really sad we didnt get this interaction

tthe anime really took out most of the sillier moments from the finale, which makes me pretty sad to think about. i know the anime and manga have different tones but pls let the boys be silly sometimes!!

the next part where legosi and louis finally establish their friendship was really cute tho ❤️ even tho it was pretty different i enjoyed it a lot.

BABIESSSS 🥺😭❤️❤️

the wrap-up for this arc and this episode gave me whiplash sdjlfkjsdf. it literally speedruns thru legosi's predation conviction, being released, louis & haru's graduation, and legosi deciding he's going to drop out of school. that is SO MUCH AT ONCE. also i was holding out hope that legosi would have his new years call with haru after the fight instead but that didnt happen!! so it just got cut!!! kinda mad about that tbh. legosi and haru having a lil scene at the very end made up for it a lil bit but that's still one of haru's few moments in this arc that's just not included.

we didnt even get the part wher legosi learns he can't marry haru bc of his conviction.

ive been really hoping for a season 3 announcement once this season ended. with all the background allusions to yahya, the added plot point of someone stealing elephant tusks, and sebun and melon's lil cameos in this season, it seemed to me that studio orange was kinda teasing a 3rd season. but now, with the dismissive way the anime ended, and paru's note from earlier today, im less sure about the possibility of a 3rd season. i'd still like to see the rest of the series animated, but i guess we'll just have to wait and see if more anime is announced in the future.

if we do get another season in the future i just hope that we swing back around and actually address the things that got completely glossed over in the last couple minutes of this episode instead of charging forward w/o touching them again.

i really think the finale for this arc should've been two episodes at least. not including the tunnel scene. i think then things wouldn't have felt so rushed. people have been saying this season really would have benefitted from at least 1 extra episode and i cant help but agree. some have even suggested a whole 24 episodes just for this arc, but i think that this arc couldve been done properly with 12 or 13 episodes if there was some better prioritizing on what to include and what to cut.

like i dont mind not getting the parts about legosi's family if they can be addressed somehow in a future season (or if theres no more future anime seasons thats a plot thread that doesnt have to be worried about). i could have lived w/o seeing sheila & peach's chapter animated if it meant more time for the focus of this arc. and was the kangaroo red herring really necessary?

adaptation wise, i dont think this season was as good as the first. i still think it did fairly well, but i know that it could have been much better. ive been excited to watch this season with my friends once the dub releases, but now im wondering if i should just tell them to read the manga instead. sighs idk. perhaps it comes thru better as a bingewatch, or perhaps im being a bit too harsh. idk. at some point ill do a rewatch and see how i feel about the season as a whole, but that wont be for a while.

if you've read this far, thanks for reading my ramblings!! it's been fun to make these posts every week and im gonna miss getting new episodes every week.

#beastars #beastext #legosi #legoshi #louis

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marauder-exe · 4 years

Text

The Third time Sirius Black felt his heart stop.

The Third time Sirius Black felt his heart stop, he was newly 17, and it was the summer before his last year at Hogwarts. Everything was starting to settle down. He had moved into the Potters and it was truly amazing, he had bagged him self a really fucking beautiful girlfriend. like a veela-beautiful-unexplainably-pretty-like-everybody-wants-her-like-really-fucking-beautiful girlfriend, and everything was generally going really well. And he didn't want to screw it up. And he was beginning to think what he was about to do would screw it up.

You had been staying at the Potters with Sirius, Just to make sure he had gotten settled and was having a good time. You only planned to stay there few days, but it had eventually turned into staying for the whole summer, but you didn't mind. Staying at a huge summer house with your favourite boys (minus Remus, but he was off on holiday somewhere. Lucky git.). Of course Euphemia and Fleamont Potter were there, but they where honestly lovely, and they praised you for how much you ‘calmed Sirius down’ as they put it. This summer had been amazing. You guys had spent the majority of the time at the beach, or in places no one could imagine. You went on Ferris wheels, to libraries (Your idea of course), went swimming. It was honestly one of the best summers of your life. But now Sirius was acting strange, and James was acting secretive, and you where determined to find out why.

“I think he's going to propose” Marlene stated, her arm firmly wrapped around Dorcas’ shoulder. Lily and Mary squealed in response. Everyone had got together for a day at the beach since school was about to start.

“He's not going to proposeeee, don't be silly.” You groaned.

“I think he is!” Lily piped up and you gave her a look. “Im serious! In all the muggle books, the men get all distant before they propose” She stated while you just stared at her. Sirius couldn't propose. He just couldn't. You had a timeline. Finish school, secure a job, get an apartment then think about kids. You where only 16, there was no way he would propose. You gave them all a glare.

“Think what you want, I know Sirius, and I know he wont” You smiled and began to walk towards the boys.

“Its been 3 years (Y/N)! He's bound to put a ring on it soon!” Mary shouted as you waved your arms to shush her, getting closer to the boys.

You had gotten to were the boys where situated on the sand, All of them in nothing but swimming trunks. You had been wearing a small swimsuit that Sirius had got you for your birthday.

“Hey Remmy?” You sat down next to him on his beach towel, and smiled sweetly.

“Yes (Y/N/N)?” He immediately knew you wanted something by your sweet tone.

“Do you thinkkkkkkk...” You dragged out you words. “You could give me a piggy back in the water?” You have you sweetest smile and layed your head on his shoulder. He groaned.

“Why cant your BOYFRIEND do it?” he asked and you huffed.

“Your stronger, no offence Sirius. And he doesn't like to get his hair wet.”

“Fineeeeeeee” He said, an underlying blush on his cheeks. He bent down so you could climb onto his back and he immediately rushed you both over to the water. Water splashed everywhere and you and Remus laughed.

Sirius and James sat on the beach, staring out into the water.

“You better put a ring on it before he does mate” James laughed. Sirius knew you and Remus where strictly platonic, as much as Remus didn't want it to be, he wouldn't make a move on his best friends girl.

“You know the plan, ass hole” Sirius said. Right. The Plan. The Plan was taking place tonight actually. Everyone knew the plan, well everyone meaning the boys. They where going to come back to the Potter mansion (The Potters where out of town, as Sirius had already told them the plan), James and Remus had decorated the Garden with lights and stuff (Remus was a little bit, very fucking crushed), They'd have a barbecue going, Sirius would ask you to go for a walk around the pool, next to James’ Sakura tree, like all those years ago when he asked you to the ball. He just hoped nothing went wrong.

So after a long day at the beach, they all headed to the Potters, The boys in James VW bug, and the girl in Lily's Chevy Bel Air. It was a great ride, music blaring warm air passing across your face as the sun set, you where truly happy. You all arrived at the house around an hour later, it was decorated beautifully. All the girls gasped at the beautiful garden.

The little party you guys had going was going swell, everyone was a little tipsy, and James was on the barbecue, before Remus took over. (Side Note: Never let James on the barbecue). Sirius felt the ring box in his pocket, then looked towards you, he saw you smile and giggle at something Lily said. Its now or never. He walked up to you and tapped you on the shoulder.

“Hey” He said softly. “ Wanna go for a walk around the Sakura trees” He watched a smile instantly light up your face as you jumped up. You grabbed his hand and began to walk, mirroring all those years ago. You talked, about everything, about the summer, about what the next year would bring. Then he stopped at your favourite Sakura tree, and watched as you looked around in happiness.

“So, (Y/N)” He grabbed your hand as you looked at him, still smiling. “You know we've been together for 3 years now, and I couldn't be happier” Your face fell as you realised what was going on, lily had been right, he was about to propose wasn't he? “These past few years you've made me the happiest Ive veer been, from the day i saw you, you made my heart stop. And to this day you still do. Every time I see your smile, and hear your voice, I know everything will be alright.” You began to tear up.

“Sirius..”You tried to stop him.

“Please, I know what you gonna say ‘were too young Sirius’ ‘im only 16 Sirius’ “He mimicked in your voice, he was right, that's exactly what you where about to say.

“But I don't care. I don't care that were too young. I don't care what people say. That we’ll never last. I don't care because I know we will. I know we can last. I want to wake up everyday and see your face. I want to call you mine forever.” He dropped to one knee, puling the ring out of his pocket.

“(Y/F/N), Will you marry me?” In that moment, he felt his heart stop again, for the third time in his life. The pause before you gave your answer was perhaps the longest wait he'd ever endured, or at least that's what it felt like. It felt like there was no air left to breath, time felt slowed. Until finally…

“Yes” You breathed out. AND, immediately, Everything sped up, he breathed out, all the noises resumed, and he could feel his heartbeat in his ear.

“Yes?” He asked incredulously.

“Yes!” He stood up and you immediately jumped towards him and rapped your legs around him. “Of course ill marry you!” He hugged you so tightly, like he thought you would slip away if he let go. You stood back up and he slipped the ring onto your finger, it was perfect. You where perfect.

#sirius black #sirius #sirius black x reader #sirius black x y/n #sirius black x you #sirius black fanfiction #marauders #marauder #marauders era #marauder era #harry potter #harry potter fanfiction

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theninjamouse · 4 years

Text

Title: Wisdom

Summery: It’s time for that dreaded procedure.

(Hi, this is a silly little thing that I’ve wanted to write for ages and last night I stayed up way too late finally writing it. I’ll put it up on ao3 as well but for now, have this)

There comes a time in many people’s lives when they must face against a truth. A truth that cannot be avoided, nor ignored in the intensity of its pain. You had hoped against hope that perhaps, you would be spared this fate but alas!

Your time has come.

~~~~~~

Grillby stares at you, blinking slowly. “They’re going to…what?”

You sigh. “I just explained it through dramatic monologue!”

“Give me a summery.”

Pouting, you monotone, “My wisdom teeth have grown in and it’s making all the rest of my teeth shift and it really hurts so they’re going to knock me out and remove them.”

Your explanation has not eased Grillby’s perplexion at all. “But…why would you grow them in at all just to have them removed?”

You shrug helplessly. “I didn’t choose to grow them in! It’s just a thing human mouths do sometimes!”

“Why?”

“Why does the human body work at all? It’s a mystery, honestly.”

Grillby scrubs at his face. “Okay so…afterwards?”

“Afterwards I’m going to be extremely out of it. The medicine they give you is uh. Well, it depends on the person but usually it makes you really loopy. There’s tons of videos online, I’ll have to show you some.”

“Will you be okay?”

Aw and there he is. The soft and caring boyfriend that you love so much. “Yeah, I’m gonna be fine,” you assure him, taking his hand and squeezing it gently. “I uh, I feel awkward asking but, I’m gonna need a few days to recover and I’d feel better if I was at your place. Please?”

A few sparks lift from his head, the equivalent of silent laughter. “You know that you don’t even need to ask.”

Sheepishly, you look down at your feet. He’s right but anxiety is still twisting at your gut. Whenever you got sick growing up, you didn’t exactly receive a lot of loving care, even though a part of you longed for it. The first time you came down with a cold, Grillby’s constant and gentle attention was almost too much for you and you had hidden under the covers and cried the moment he left the room.

This isn’t quite the same as getting sick but you’re still a little concerned about how you’re going to act after the procedure. But you’re going to need help, that much you’re sure of and there’s no one you trust more than him. “Just a warning, I really have no idea how I’m going to act after the surgery. I had a friend in high school that bit her mom when she tried to change the gauze.”

“Gauze?”

“Oh, it’s a sort of cotton sponge. To soak up the excess blood.”

He pales to green at that. But he quickly shakes his head. “I’ll be fine, it’s not like you could hurt me if you bit me.”

“Don’t I know it.”

He makes a noise in the back of his throat, blushing. “Anyway, I’m more than happy to take care of you.”

That stupid, choking emotion is already grabbing hold of you, so you hug him tightly, pressing your face into his chest. “Just warning you, I take no responsibility for my post-surgery actions.”

He scoffs quietly. “I think I can handle whatever you throw at me.”

~~~~

The surgery center is bustling with activity. You rub anxiously at your thumb, the soothing motion doing very little to calm your building nerves. Grillby puts a hand on your knee. “It’s going to be okay,” he murmurs. The assurance is a little less effective thanks to the anxious green and white flashing across his face.

“GRILLBY IS RIGHT HUMAN!” Papyrus’ voice booms over the hushed murmuring of the waiting room. Every head turns towards him and he waves his hands enthusiastically. “THOUGH I MUST ADMIT, IT SEEMS A HUGE OVERSIGHT IN THE HUMAN DESIGN FOR THESE ‘WISDOM TEETH’ TO CAUSE SUCH A COMMON PROBLEM!”

Grillby, for all of his support, only has his rarely used motorcycle sitting in the skeleton brother’s garage. Seeing as how you wouldn’t be in any shape to drive after the surgery, you had reached out to those with licenses and cars for a lift. Papyrus had responded so eagerly and loudly that you simply couldn’t turn him down. He did have a sweet car after all.

In the seat next to him, Sans scuffs his foot against the worn linoleum. He looks far more uncomfortable than Papyrus, but he had insisted on coming along. At first, you had been touched that he cared enough to help out.

Then he had pulled a camcorder out of his pocket.

He turns it on you now, little red light blinking. “any final words before enlightenment?”

You fix the camera with a stare. “If I don’t come out of there, I want my full tab transferred to Sans.”

“GRILLBY! YOUR GIRLFRIEND HAS A TAB?” Papyrus tuts loudly and Grillby sighs.

A nurse steps out from the door leading into the back of the facility. She calls your name and your heart leaps into your throat. You scramble to grab Grillby’s hand and give it a final squeeze as you stand and hand off your bag. “Well, see you on the other side I guess?”

Grillby nods, still rather pale.

“GOOD LUCK HUMAN! YOU’RE GOING TO BE FINE!”

“that’s the tooth.”

“UGH!”

You follow the nurse back into a room that smells strongly of disinfectant and climb into the chair. You’re gonna be fine, you’re gonna be just fine, it’s a common surgery, nothing’s going to-

The nurse, smiling gently, sticks the needle attached to an IV in your arm and tears immediately start pouring down your face.

You! Hate! Needles!

It’s a few minutes later when the doctor comes in to find you still sniffling. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

You try to smile, blubbering out, “I j-just don’t l-like needles is all, I’m f-fine!”

He smiles gently and gives your shoulder a pat. “You don’t need to worry, everything-”

His voice suddenly warps and fades away as his hand suddenly shifts to a gentle push. Without being really aware of falling, you suddenly find yourself floating along a river. It’s cool and pleasant to the touch. When you look at it, it shimmers like gold and you realize that it’s not water at all but golden coins carrying you along and oh, this is actually kind of nice! The river rocks you with a gentle motion and you could almost fall asleep, cradled in the gentle hold of gold which actually, that’s a little strange now that you think about it but oh, thinking is hard right now and everything just feels so warm and nice…

“…op rocking okay?”

You blink blearily. The river of gold is gone but the rocking continues. It’s nice. Everything is so nice!

“Shore, you have to stop rocking, okay? You’re going to make yourself dizzy.”

You’re already dizzy! You’re gonna keep rocking cause it feels nice!

There’s a blurred figure in front of you, holding a patch of white. “Here, wipe your eyes,” the garbled voice continues.

Oh! You’re crying still! Huh, that’s weird! You reach for what you assume is a tissue and miss. The figure takes your hand and places the tissue in your palm and the tears rush out even faster. “Fank you, fat’s so nice!”

“You’re welcome Shore.”

You lift the tissue to your face and miss your eyes, dabbing your mouth instead.

You’re not sure how long you sit there, watching the blurred shapes of people moving back and forth. It’s nice to just sit and rock. Eventually though, another lady-oh she’s so pretty, that’s so nice!- approaches you with a wheelchair and helps you ease into it.

You’re wheeled down a hallway and you wave at the blurry figures passing by. What nice people, taking care of you like this!

You hear a whoosh of automatic doors opening. The cool air of the surgery center gives way to sunny warmth. You turn your face to it, smiling blissfully.

The nurse brings you to a stop. “Okay Shore, here’s your ride,” she says in a bright and cheerful voice.

You look forward, delightfully surprised to see Grillby, Sans and Papyrus standing there. Oh that’s right, they’re here to take you home! You point, “Look, thaaaaaat’s my boyfriend!” you crow proudly.

“Oh wow, that’s awesome!” the nurse answers. She helps you to stand and fortunately keeps her hand on you because your legs don’t bother buckling; they simply refuse to work, and you nearly slide to the ground before she catches you.

“uh…doc is she actually ok to leave?”

“Oh yes, she’s fine, here you are.” The nurse hauls you up and pushes you forward into Grillby’s arms. He’s so warm! This is so nice!

You snuggle into the warmth, humming happily.

“…ore? ….kay?”

“PERHAPS WE…CAR…MEDICINE!”

Their voices dip in and out but you’re too concerned with keeping your face pressed against Grillby’s chest to really listen because good heck he smells amazing.

You blink again as Grillby very gently pries you off him and guides you into the car. The moment you sit down, a wave of exhaustion takes over and you close your eyes, thumping your head back against the headrest. If the Earth would stop swirling that would be wonderful.

Your head rolls loosely when you feel the warmth of Grillby’s body next to yours. Your eyes feel like they’ve got sandbags attached to them, but you slowly peel them open.

Oh no, he looks so concerned! He’s pale green, very gently cupping your cheek with his hand. Smiling as best as you can with your mouth currently crammed with fluffy clouds, you reach for his cheek, miss, and bap him in the center of his face.

“I’m okay!” Your voice sounds funny, all stuffed up and slurring. “Don’t…don’t cry, okay?”

“I’m not crying.”

“Don’t cry.”

“I won’t.”

“you’re the one who’s crying, tibia honest.”

You pull your gaze away from Grillby to Sans. He’s in the front passenger seat, mostly turned around to look back at you. He’s got that camcorder going. “Why didnja use your phone? It has a…a, a camera y’know.”

“i do know but let’s not talk about me. how’re ya feeling?”

“Good!” you slur brightly. And it’s the truth! You’re still feeling super floaty and stuff. It’s nice. “This stuff’s like maaaaagic.”

“magic huh?”

“Mmmyup! Am I still crying?”

“YES, IT’S ACTUALLY QUITE DISGUSTING,” Papyrus chimes in from the driver’s seat.

Disgusting?! You’re disgusting!?

“aw paps, you made her cry again.”

Papyrus looks back at you through the rearview mirror. “I’M SORRY SHORE! IT’S A HUMAN THING, NOT A ‘YOU’ THING!”

That’s…that’s fair. “Yanno what’s…what’s gross they, they puta thing in my nose and like, I was crying, and stuff and the snot got all caught in the tubes. It was groooss.”

Sans has a hand over his mouth and his shoulders are quivering a little. “oh my god this is amazing.”

“S’not amazing…” Hey, you made a pun. “Heh, snot.” You giggle and choke a little.

“you ok?”

You hum, leaning on Grillby’s arm. “I’m…good. Where’re we going?”

“THE DOCTOR TOLD US TO GET YOU A MILKSHAKE WHEN WE GET YOUR MEDICINE! IT’LL HELP YOUR CHEEKS TO NOT BE SO PUFFED UP.”

Oh right. Yeah, that’s the usual thing to do after stuff like this. Right? “I gotta stay on liquids and stuff. ‘Member that!” You poke Grillby. “No chewing stuff. Cause like, I’m all…” You pat your swollen cheeks lightly. “Nuh uh.”

You can hear Sans doing his best to muffle his cackling.

Looking back up at Grillby, you say, “You got the good stuff right? Lotta…lotta um….”

Grillby runs his hand over your head. “Soups and ice cream and jello.”

“What about pudding?”

He frowns. “You told me you don’t like pudding.”

“Oh yeah! I don’t really like pudding. Well, the chocolate stuff’s okay. But not banana. It’s gross.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

You nod, contented. “And…where are we going?”

“To get your medicine and the milkshake.”

“Oh yeah.” You smack your lips together a few times. They’re starting to buzz and tingle. “There’s bees in my mouth.”

That draws a huge bark of laughter from Sans. “bees?”

“Mmmhmm.” The tingling brings with it the feeling of bubbles. You’re not leaking blood, are you? You don’t want to make a mess. “They’re making it bubble. Am I bubbling?” You open your mouth as wide as you can at Grillby, leaning in close.

Somehow, he pales even further. You hear a soft thunk as his head hits the window.

“uh…paps i think grillby just passed out.”

“HE WHAT?”

Sans leans into the back a little bit more. “hey bud, lemme see your mouth.”

You oblige him, opening up. “Is there blood? Am I bubbling?”

He makes a face. “yeah, that’s uh…that’s getting kinda nasty. Maybe you shouldn’t talk so much?”

Your lip quivers a little, more tears spilling down. “’m sorry.”

“ah, no, it’s fine, don’t cry uh…here.” He fishes in his pocket and pulls out a rumpled napkin. “it’s clean so uh, maybe wipe up a little before grillbz wakes up?”

You take the napkin. “Sans you’re so n-nice and Paps you are too. You guys are the best.” You dab at your lip, or what you hope is your lip and look to Grillby. His eyes are shut. “Is he taking a nap?”

Sans snorts. “something like that.”

You poke Grillby. You wanna ask him…something. You can’t remember what actually. Maybe what he needs is a kiss to wake him up, like Snow White. You try to lean over to him, but the seatbelt stops you. You fumble with it, whining quietly. Since you can’t seem to figure it out, you settle for kissing your finger and pressing it against his cheek.

He stirs. It worked! “I’m Prince Freaking Charming,” you say proudly to San’s camera.

“yeah ya are.”

Grillby sits up, looking so utterly confused that you start snorting, which makes you choke and sputter on the bubbling sensation in your mouth. “You don’t like the sighta blood huh?”

“No, I really don’t,” he says faintly.

“Walking Dead eat your heart out!” you crow, sticking your bloody tongue out.

Grillby groans loudly and hunches over, head in his hands. “Please don’t do that.”

“You big baby. When we get to…” You look back to Sans. “Where’re we going?”

“to get a milkshake.”

“Yeah! When we, we get to the milkshake, you can get one too to make you feel better.” You pat his back.

“Thanks.”

“You’re sooooo welcome!” You lean on his back, head resting on his shoulder. “I love ya so much. So, so much.”

He tinges blue and takes your hand. “I love you too.”

“Am I a good person?”

“One of the best.”

You giggle quietly, eyes slipping shut. Maybe it’s time to take a little nap before you get to…wherever it is that you’re going. “You’re a good person too,” you murmur. He says something in return but you don’t catch it, already slipping away into unconscious bliss.

~~~~~~

It takes you many hours and several naps to completely come out of the haze of post-surgery. Most of that time is just a blur, though you do recall Grillby nearly passing out again when he helped to change the bloody gauze out of your mouth. Papyrus had stepped in, loudly tutting and complaining about how Grillby should have a stronger stomach given how much greasy food he works around.

When you finally wake up for good, that wonderfully light feeling is gone, replaced by an awful heaviness that makes it hard to even form a coherent thought, let alone move. You’re on Grillby’s bed, propped up by many pillows and blankets. Grillby himself is just visible through the open doorway. At your low groan, he quickly puts down whatever he was doing and comes to your side.

“Hey,” he says gently, taking your hand. “How are you feeling?”

You blink slowly and blearily. “Like I got hit by a train. How do I look?”

“Like you got hit by a train,” he says, grinning weakly.

“…Did you pass out in the car or did I imagine that?”

He ignores that, which you take to mean that yes, yes that did happen, and instead says, “Do you feel up to some broth?”

“Not really but sure,” you breathe.

He pats your hand and leaves, returning shortly with a bowl of broth. “It’s not hot,” he says apologetically. “But it shouldn’t hurt this way.”

“Mkay.” You reach up to pull out the gauze and he blanches again. “Wow, big strong elemental really is a baby when it comes to blood.”

“Only when it’s yours.”

Oh, now that’s just sickeningly sweet. “Well good news is I think it’s stopped.”

“Thank the stars.” He takes a seat on the bed and spoons out some broth. Carefully, he spoon feeds you. Normally such a thing would have you red with embarrassment, but at the moment you’re honestly too weak to really care. He’s patient and gentle, never pushing you. He’s…he’s so nice and good to you and-!

You sniffle. He flashes pale, pulling the spoon back. “What’s wrong? Are you in pain?”

You shake your head, blinking out tears. “You’re just so nice to me and I don’t feel like I deserve it.”

“Oh, hey, hey it’s okay.” He sets the bowl down on the table and climbs into the bed next to you, very carefully pulling you into his arms. “Of course you deserve it.”

You lean against him, letting the gentle warmth of his soak into your aching body. “No, I don’t.”

“You do. And I’m going to keep being nice to you, even if you don’t think you deserve it.”

“Cause you love me?”

He smiles and presses a kiss to the top of your head. “Because I love you.”

“Even with the blood and big old chipmunk cheeks?”

“Especially with the chipmunk cheeks.”

You chuckle quietly, closing your eyes and letting yourself bask in the security of Grillby’s embrace.

#grillby/reader #undertale #sans #papyrus #shore #OoF extra #shorby #hey it's some good old illness/comfort!#except it's a dental procedure not illness #but close enough #a lot of this is very heavily based on my own wisdom tooth experience

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vexedtonightmares · 4 years

Text

last dance (elu ballet au) chapter seize

Lucas is in his final year at the Paris Opera Ballet School and he’ll be damned if he lets his former friend-turned-rival Eliott steal the lead role in their production of Swan Lake.

aka- lucas and eliott are rivals who are forced to room together for their final year of ballet school before they try to enter the company. we can all see where this is going.

i. ii. iii. iv. v. vi. vii. viii. ix. x. xi. xii. xiii. xiv. xv. xvi.

ao3

**tw: mentions of eating disorder and bipolar disorder**

Dimanche 12:44

They were a week out from the show, which meant everyone was in a frenzy. The studios had been booked all day and people came and went as they pleased to practice, everyone a little bit more sluggish than usual on account of the late night they’d all ended up having.

After Eliott and Lucas’ show, their whole year stayed in the auditorium all night under the guise of cleaning it up, but they were really just enjoying one another’s company. There weren’t going to be many more nights like this, so they had to take advantage while they still could. The silly string actually smelled quite bad, but Lucas didn’t think any of them had cared much about it, too lost in the moment and each other to think about anything other than their happiness. It was so beautiful to experience, being in a group like this one. Sure, some of them were better friends with each other than others were, but that night they’d all been one unit built through sweat, strength, blood, broken nails, and more than a few tears.

Lucas was still finding silly string buried in his hair when he ran his hands through it as he practiced, and even though it was kind of gross, he couldn’t help but smile.

He and Eliott were switching off rehearsing with Manon and Imane, both of whom chided them multiple times for not paying enough attention to their partners and too much attention to each other. Thankfully, Lucas had already gotten a fair amount of practice with Manon, so they looked to be in good shape for the weekend. Imane and Eliott hadn’t had as much time to work through the choreography together, but it didn’t seem likely that the two of them would have to perform together on stage, so they weren’t worried.

They had yet to run through the entire ballet in full costume onstage, and Lucas couldn’t have been more excited to start dress rehearsals. They wouldn’t start until the next morning since the show was beginning on Friday, and Lucas hoped that nothing would go wrong, but he didn’t want to jinx it. There was still a lot to be done, and so much that could go wrong, but they were so close.

It was quite surreal that it was finally happening. It seemed like just yesterday he’d come back to school with Manon, marvelling at the year ahead. At the same time, it seemed stupid that at that point he’d been so overcome with blind hatred he’d thought he wouldn’t survive the year sharing a room with Eliott. Now he couldn’t imagine surviving without him.

Eliott flashed him a smile just meant for the two of them, like a secret they shared, and Lucas dropped his head to hide his own grin. One of the best things about falling in love was the secret language that came with it, the one neither person had to learn but already knew by heart. It was a good thing he would never have to live without Eliott.

“I love you,” he mouthed across the room, because he was sappy and he could. If Eliott was the sun, then he was Icarus, flying, falling, but ever in love with its golden rays and the warmth it brought into his life.

Imane snapped in front of his face and he realized he’d probably been staring too long with a dopey expression on his face. The blush that always adorned his cheeks around Eliott deepened, even as Eliott mouthed the words back to him behind Imane.

“I swear, if I’d known you were going to be this insufferable in love, I never would have wished for it for my birthday,” Manon teased, ruffling his hair.

“Shut up,” he groaned, leaning out of her reach, then paused. “Wait… you’re joking, right?”

She raised one eyebrow, turning back to face the mirror with a smirk on her face. She was such a shit, but he supposed he couldn’t complain because the two of them were cut from the same cloth. He pretended not to notice Imane rolling her eyes at all three of them. He knew it was in jest anyways, he knew that Imane liked him a whole lot more than she pretended to.

And, thinking of her, he had to get all the information out of her about her and Sofiane. They could pretend nothing was going on all they wanted, but literally everyone knew it was a lie. He was happy for her, whatever the case, because he could tell she and Sofiane cared about each other deeply and had for practically their whole lives.

Caring was something he’d grown up without, never really considering the impact it might have when he found it. He liked to be cared for, he’d come to realize. Being cared for wasn’t being pitied or belittled, it was a show of pure affection from someone who loved you through thick and thin. Sure, it would still take him some getting used to, but Manon, Imane, and Eliott were just the people to help him with that. He liked to be the one giving care as well, it came more naturally, probably because he’d done it unknowingly with his mother when he was young. There was nothing quite like showing someone how much they meant to you.

The rehearsals continued, going by more smoothly than initially anticipated, mostly due to the fact that the four of them were pretty professional when they wanted to be. It was strange for the show to be looming so close, it really was. Even stranger still was the fact that Lucas would dance the role of his dreams with one of his best friends opposite him in front of an audience that was sure to be more overwhelming than any he’d ever experienced prior.

Thinking about it led to wild daydreams of performing on the same stage as the principal dancer in the Paris Opera Ballet Company. If he even wanted to stay there, that was. It seemed blasphemous to even think of leaving, but he wasn’t assured a place in the company and he didn’t know if this environment was the one he was destined to belong in. He and Eliott hadn’t talked much about what they were going to do after this year, and Lucas had been avoiding thinking about it too much. Not so long ago he’d feared there would be no future for him. He’d wait until after the show, he decided, then he would figure out what the hell he was going to do with his life and his career, if his brain could hold out that long.

Career was a weird word for him to use, even in the confines of his own mind. It meant that his dreams were in reach should he decide to reach out and grab them. Hopefully they wouldn’t slip through his fingers.

Eliott snaked a hand around his shoulders, knocking their heads together. “Break time?” he asked, probably noticing how Lucas had zoned out over the last few minutes. Lucas nodded sinking into Eliott’s embrace.

“Perfect,” Manon said, patting her forehead for sweat that wasn’t there. It boggled his mind, honestly, how she simply didn’t sweat, like she’d just decided not to or something. “I have to meet Daphné,” she continued, light flush coating her cheeks.

“Why haven’t I been giving you a hard time about that?” Lucas wondered aloud, considering all the jokes he could have made about the two of them. Manon surely hadn’t held back on his behalf.

“Because you love us both too much,” Manon suggested with a wink, and Lucas rolled his eyes at her.

He raised one eyebrow, gathering his things from the front of the room. “I take offense on behalf of me and Eliott,” he said, nudging Eliott, who nodded even though he’d been talking to Imane.

Manon pouted at him, patting his cheek maternally. “Please, as if you don’t already know how much I love you.”

“That’s so sweet, Manon, but I’m gay,” he lamented.

“Me too,” she mocked, in the same tone of voice, “For the most part at least.”

She kissed him on both cheeks, waving to Eliott and Imane before leaving, eyes glued to whatever Daphné had probably just sent her on her phone. Eliott re attached himself to Lucas immediately after her absence, bodies melding into place, such a comfort in existing side by side.

Imane left as well, reminding them to meet back there in an hour or so to continue rehearsing, and Eliott and Lucas trailed a bit behind, too lost in their own world to see her meet up with Sofiane and walk off in the opposite direction.

Eliott covered Lucas’ eyes as they walked back to their room, both of them giggling like giddy schoolchildren, and he uncovered Lucas’ eyes with a flourish after struggling to open the door without his hands.

“Ta da!” he exclaimed proudly, gesturing to their room.

Lucas looked around for what the surprise was supposed to be. “Ah, Eliott? What am I supposed to be looking at?”

Eliott’s face fell and turned bright red as he bolted behind the kitchen counter, cursing. He rematerialized a moment later, holding a tray of muffins. Despite himself, Lucas softened.

“My famous blueberry-bacon muffins,” Eliott said proudly, and Lucas tried not to visibly show any disgust.

“When did you make them?” he asked instead, and Eliott blushed again.

“Ok, technically I didn’t make these ones specifically, Idriss did, but that’s only because we’ve been rehearsing all day and I still wanted to do something special for you,” Eliott continued with a timid smile. Every time Lucas thought Eliott couldn’t be more endearning, he had to go and do something like make Lucas want to eat blueberry-bacon muffins, didn’t he?

Lucas took the tray from his hands and set it on the counter before wrapping his arms around Eliott’s neck. “I’m sure I’ll love them,” he lied, then pressed their foreheads together, “But not half as much as I love you.”

“I’d give you the world if I could,” Eliott said sincerely, and Lucas believed him. He had no reason not to. “No,” he amended, “The universe. Every single one of them.”

Lucas leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. “You already have.”

Eliott shut his eyes, rubbing their noses together and wrapping his arms around Lucas’ waist. Neither one of them moved an inch, sinking into the moment, and Lucas was struck by the peace he felt. It was a silent dance, the two of them swaying there in their kitchen slash living room combo area. It was easy to picture living in their own little apartment, spending most of their nights like this. If that was what their future held, no matter how far ahead, Lucas couldn’t wait.

Lundi 13:07

Eliott’s blueberry-bacon muffins had been awful, so Lucas declined the offer to go home and cook with Eliott during their dress rehearsal lunch break, instead agreeing to join Yann and Arthur in meeting up with Basile. They hadn’t seen him in a while, and Lucas had to admit he missed him and the illusion of normalcy he brought to their lives. He didn’t know how fucked up they’d all been recently, at least in Lucas and Arthur’s case, so there was a lot of catching up to do.

His friends had made him pick the restaurant, probably to assure that he would actually eat, but his knowledge of restaurants was pretty limited due to a combination of his eating problems and lack of free time outside of school, so they ended up at one of the same places they always went to but no one seemed to mind. Lucas ordered himself a sandwich and a salad, ignoring the looks that Yann and Arthur shared over his head.

Basile joined them, bringing the energy of a thousand suns with him. After exchanging pleasantries, he barrelled into talking about some drama he’d found himself in when Alexia had convinced him to help her throw a clandestine party in their school, but then the night guard turned up and almost caught them, and Lucas realized that if his life was crazy, normal was a whole other level of crazy.

“But, uh, what’s been up with you all?” Basile asked, noting all of their wide eyed gazes. He hadn’t stopped talking for nearly fifteen minutes, not that any of them minded, but he had been eating the entire time as well, words somewhat garbled for at least half the time he’d been speaking.

Yann and Lucas exchanged a look, wondering where to even begin. Arthur cut in instead. “You’re coming to the show this weekend, right?”

“Of course! I’ve told everyone at school about it a million times. Alexia too. Not sure how many people you can count on, to be fair, but Alexia, Idriss, and I will for sure be there cheering the loudest. Oh, and Alex,” Basile added, almost as an afterthought.

“Alex?” Yann inquired.

Basile clarified, “From Alexia’s party earlier this year? He and Emma have been dating since then, I think. And he’s friends with Idriss and Sofiane. Not sure about Eliott— oh, sorry, Lucas.”

Lucas furrowed his brows. “What?”

Basile blinked at him. “You hate Eliott?”

Arthur burst out laughing and Lucas blushed bright red. Surely he’d told Baz about Eliott… but then again he’d only just told everyone at school, and not necessarily because he’d wanted to. He just assumed everyone knew at this point, but that clearly wasn’t the case.

“Ah, Baz,” Lucas began, unsure of how to say it gently, “I’m, um, Eliott and I, um…” Fuck, he couldn’t do this, he felt so weird. Literally all Baz knew of Eliott was shit he’d heard from Lucas over the years, he didn’t have Arthur’s experience living with him or Yann’s ability to see past Lucas’ blind hatred and respect him as a person even if they hadn’t thought they would ever be friends.

“They’re fucking,” Yann supplied, and Lucas smacked him on the arm.

Basile’s jaw dropped wide open and his eyes searched Lucas’ face, as if looking for a hint that Yann was lying. It was technically true, but what he and Eliott had was so much more than that.

“They’re in looooove,” Arthur corrected, and Lucas shifted uncomfortably again, watching as Baz’s jaw dropped so far Lucas was convinced it would end up on the floor. Arthur met Lucas’ eyes across the table reassuring him that there were no hard feelings, which Lucas appreciated, because a small part of him did still wonder if there was a universe where Lucas still hated Eliott, and saw Arthur as something more than a friend.

“I need every detail right this minute,” was all Baz seemed to have the ability to say, still in utter shock. Lucas kind of wanted to circle back to Alex dating Emma, and Yann looked like he wanted to as well, but he supposed he didn’t mind talking about Eliott too much.

The look on his face must have gotten too soft too fast, because Basile nearly yelled in surprise, squinting at him. “Is this what a Lucas in love looks like? It’s terrifying,” he said to Arthur and Yann, and Lucas glared at him.

“Do you want me to tell you, or not?” he asked, crossing his arms, and Basile finally gestured for him to continue. He hadn’t told Yann or Arthur anything about how it had all gone down really. He launched into how he and Eliott had sort of become friends by accident, various small instances coming to a climax of pushing and pulling each other into a fountain and realizing that their hate was more or less a facade to cover up other feelings, at least in Lucas’ case.

He snuck in details about his eating disorder, wondering if he’d have to say it or if Basile would be able to infer from context clues. He hoped for the latter but was prepared for the former. Yann and Arthur seemed a little shocked at how many subtle hints they’d missed, but for the most part Lucas and Eliott had been good at keeping their romantic lives separate from the studio and vice versa. He didn’t tell them about Polaris, because he wanted Eliott to be able to tell people about it, but he did talk about the countless nights they’d spent together in the studio and how they’d accidentally been in the room when Manon and Daphné confessed their feelings to each other.

“Wait a minute,” Basile cut him off, holding his hands up. “Daphné… blonde Daphné? Gorgeous Daphné? Love of my life Daphné?”

Lucas shrugged. “Uh, yeah, I guess? What about her?”

Basile dropped his head into his hands dramatically on the table. “No! Do you think they’re going to break up any time soon? I swear, I’ve only met her a few times, but it was love at first sight. And second, and so on.”

“I wouldn’t hold your breath,” Arthur chimed in, patting Basile on the back. “Daphné is a lesbian.”

“She could be bi,” Basile pouted, lifting his head.

“Ah, but she’s not,” Arthur said apologetically, sharing a look with Lucas. Basile’s antics, while exasperating in large doses, had been sorely missed by Lucas.

“So what’s going on with Emma and Alex, then?” Yann asked casually, finding his opportunity.

Lucas narrowed his eyes, speaking in a low, warning, voice, “Yann…”

Yann ignored him, and Basile looked a little disgruntled by the subject change. “I don’t know much, Alex finds me annoying, I think, but him and Emma are annoyingly cute every time I’ve seen them together.”

“Oh, cool,” Yann said nonchalantly, and Lucas shot him another warning glare. Now was not the time for Yann to rediscover his feelings for Emma or get jealous over Emma’s new relationship.

“What about you, Tuturo?” Basile asked, moving on to eat a bit of Yann’s lunch. “How’s life been treating you?”

Arthur zoned out for a minute, and Lucas completely understood where his head was at. How was he supposed to succinctly wrap up a lifetime of struggle into one neat story to share with a friend? “Fine,” Arthur decided finally, “Better recently than it has been.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Basile sighed. “I must admit, you guys are a lot more boring than I’d hoped.”

Lucas laughed, taking a small bite of his salad. “I just told you all about my secret relationship with my roommate who I previously hated.”

“Yeah, but now you’re all happy and in love,” Basile said ruefully.

“He almost got kicked out of school a week ago, and now he’s playing the lead on alternating shows,” Arthur supplied, pointing his fork at Lucas.

Basile slammed his hands on the table. “Now this is what I’m talking about! Spill the tea, Lallemant, spill it now.”

Lucas took time to flip Arthur off before considering where to start. He was sure his final year of ballet school would be a story he’d tell for a long, long time, so it didn’t hurt to start then. He wondered how Eliott would tell it, or how Eliott would tell their story. Lucas’ version was tinged with regret and a bit of his chaotic energy, but wrapped in care. Where he might include stories of them doing stupid things and singing stupid songs in the middle of the night, he suspected Eliott would include the soft moments shared in the hazy morning light. Eyes meeting across the kitchen counter and hands gently tangled together as they talked, the only distance between them created by a current of words and thoughts to intimate to share aloud.

Was Eliott sitting in the kitchen with Sofiane and Idriss at that moment, each of them trying not to cringe over blueberry-bacon muffins as Eliott’s face lit up in wonder talking about their relationship? Was his version yearning and heartache warmed around the edges with the light of the sun that filled Eliott’s heart so full of love?

It was interesting to think about, that was for sure, the fact that there existed parallel universes even inside their own minds. Of course everyone saw and experience life differently, but Lucas had never really thought about it in terms of how two different people might recount the same series of events. It made him consider how he’d been the subject of so many misunderstandings in his life, and how much of that was probably due to his own perspective varying from the perspectives of others. Hadn’t his hatred of Eliott for years proved that? He was quite the unreliable narrator, especially inside his own mind, but wasn’t everyone? Was there even a person in the world who trusted themselves with unflinching clarity? If so, Lucas didn’t envy them. The questioning and mistakes were what made him human, and what made the epiphanies and happy moments much more worthwhile.

He’d been talking on autopilot while these thoughts ran through his mind, not really even paying attention to Basile’s reactions to the dramatic series of events that he simply called ‘life’. Basile cracked a few jokes when he was done, and Lucas melted into a laugh, shaking his head. A week ago he’d never thought any of this would be worthy or capable of being laughed at, but there they were.

Healing often took him by surprise, but it showed itself in subtle ways. This laugh, for example, or the fact that he’d eaten his whole meal without overthinking it. It said more about the safe space his friends had provided for him than anything else, but he was glad for it all regardless. He’d only had Eliott for a little while, he’d had these friends much longer, and he would never let himself forget that no matter how much he loved Eliott. Both loves were different, but that didn’t diminish either one of them, both just as important and essential to his healing and growth and livelihood.

They not only made him better, mentally, and physically, but they also made him want to be a better person so he could return the favor to them. Arthur was his first target, and he didn’t really know how well he was doing, but he was trying, and that would have to count for something.

Life was just a series of trying and trying and trying again, wasn’t it? Lucas had come close to not trying as of late, but he was glad he hadn’t stopped completely, because the payoff was so worth it.

Mardi 18:12

It was Lucas’ first therapy session beyond his diagnosis session, and to say he was nervous was a bit of an understatement. He didn’t know his therapist, she was different from the woman who’d assessed him previously, but she had a kind smile and pulled her hair back in a way that reminded him of his mom. He didn’t know if that made him sad or hopeful. Well, he supposed she was supposed to be the one to help him figure that out, wasn’t she?

She shook his hand as he walked into her office, sitting down on the couch across from her. He fidgeted a bit, not knowing how to sit. Was this formal, or casual? Was he supposed to lay on the couch like they always did in the movies?

“I’m Dr. Rowe, but you may call me Angelique, if that makes you more comfortable. In my experience, most of the people I treat prefer us to address one another on a first name basis, but I’ll do whatever suits you,” she said, voice kind. She looked younger than he’d expected her to be, but looks could be deceiving and he wasn’t stupid enough to ask.

“Um, first names are fine, yeah,” he agreed. Dr. Rowe seemed to formal for what they were going to be doing, even if it was his first instinct to refuse the familiarity. “I’m Lucas,” he supplied, even though she probably already knew that. She probably already knew more about him than he did.

“Lucas,” she confirmed anyways, giving him another warm smile. He couldn’t tell if that was her natural reaction or if she was just trying to be extra welcoming. Whatever the case, he didn’t mind it, and he could already feel himself becoming a bit more at ease.

She shuffled the few papers she was holding, turning more professional. “I have your diagnosis reports with me here, but that’s not what I want to talk with you about today, ok?”

“Ok?” Lucas put his hands under his legs, definitely not to keep them from shaking.

“Just… tell me about you. I don’t want to know you through what various files and diagnoses tell me, that’s not going to help either of us. I want to know you. Who is Lucas, really?” she prompted.

That was the question of a lifetime, wasn’t it? “Well,” he began, “I’m… struggling. I have been for so long I forgot what it’s like to not live every day in some sort of pain. It’s not that I didn’t want to get better, it’s more that I didn’t think there was any way of getting better. I didn’t know that was an option.”

“But you do now?” she asked.

He smiled involuntarily. “Yeah. I do. Someone in my life recently has helped me realize I’m worth more than I ever thought. I’m not really sure if I believe him all the time, but I think the same of him, so I get where he’s coming from and I try to listen.”

“What is your relationship to this person?” she continued, listening intently as ever. He already liked this session better than the one he’d had previously.

“He’s my boyfriend,” Lucas said, ducking his head. He knew for a fact he had when Yann had dubbed his ‘sappy Eliott face’ on right now and he didn’t want to be too much of a lovesick disaster right off the bat. “Eliott.”

“How did you two meet?”

He almost snorted aloud. She definitely wasn’t going to have been expecting what he was about to tell her. “We were best friends growing up,” he began, because it was as good a place as any to start. “We both go to school at the Paris Opera Ballet School, which you obviously know, at least on my behalf, but yeah. We kind of, um, grew apart for a few years, but we became friends again this year, and then something more.”

Angelique considered this, and she looked like she wanted to ask more about it. He figured she would. There was too much to cover in a single session, though, and the last thing he wanted was for her to come to come sort of conclusion that he and Eliott weren’t good together. Because if anything was true, it was that they truly did belong together.

“He’s helped me a lot, he’s the only one who really saw what was going on and wouldn’t let me talk my way out of it,” he said.

“Do you do that a lot?” she asked, “Talk your way out of things?”

He nodded. “Well, yes and no. Most times I just don’t talk about it at all, or get super defensive.”

She looked at him curiously. “You seem rather open with me?”

Yeah, he was kind of confused by it too. He shrugged. “I guess so many people know about the deepest darkest parts of me now that I don’t see the point in hiding it.”

She laughed. “That’s a start.”

“I guess,” he agreed, smiling minutely. “Is there, um, anything I should be talking about in particular?”

Angelique shook her head. “These sessions are more or less dictated by you. I’ll give my input, and I’ll lead you in discussions, but I don’t ever want to monopolize the conversation. This is about you and your growth most of all, and we’ll get there however you’re most comfortable.”

“And if I don’t know?” he asked.

She smiled, but it wasn’t a smile borne from joy, nor from sadness. It was a smile of understanding. “That’s ok too.”

He appreciated her flexibility, it did in fact make him feel better about being there, but he also wanted some sort of structure. Should he jump in with the capital T trauma right away, or was that something to be saved for later on when they knew each other a little better? Then again, she already knew quite a bit about him didn’t she? Even the things unwritten in his diagnoses were written in the way he sat or his vocal inflections. She could see the bags under his eyes or the light inside them, and she could see that he wrung his hands together when he didn’t know what to say or that those very same hands were made to hold the hands of another. Someone she could probably see was always on his mind, even in the quietest moments.

“I have a show starting this weekend,” he said instead, the only thing he could think to say.

“In the ballet?” she clarified, and he grinned, finding his footing. He could talk about ballet for hours and never tire of it.

“Yeah, it’s my final year of school, and every group of terminale students puts on a ballet production in the winter for the holidays, so this year we’re doing Swan Lake,” he explained.

She nodded along like she understood so far, which was promising. “And Swan Lake, is that one you’ve heard of? I apologize, I don’t know much about ballet.”

Lucas laughed, mostly to himself. It was crazy how those two words could mean so little to someone who was completely outside of the ballet world. “It’s been my favorite show since I was a kid. Prince Siegfried, the lead male role, has always been my dream role.”

“Is that who you’ll be playing, then?” she asked.

“That’s kind of a long story,” he admitted, “But yes, in a way. I’ll be alternating the role with Eliott. The show runs for two weekends, so he gets the Saturday matinee and the Sunday matinee, I get Friday evening and Saturday evening, and then next weekend we switch. Otherwise I’m just in the corps, which is sort of like the ensemble.”

She nodded. “And Eliott… is this the same Eliott…?”

She didn’t finish the thought fully, but he understood well enough. Who was Eliott? The man of his dreams, and so much more. “Yeah, this Eliott is my boyfriend.”

She blinked, sitting up a bit straighter. “I see.”

“When I said it was a long story, I really meant it,” he laughed nervously.

“Do you want to talk about it all now?” she asked, giving him the option to take things slowly, and he decided that was what he needed at the moment, especially with the show so close. He could go deep into his psyche once the show was over.

“Actually can I just talk a bit about ballet, for now?” he asked.

Angelique nodded graciously. “Of course. We’ll move at whatever pace you’re comfortable with.”

“Ok,” he agreed readily, deciding what he wanted to do with the remaining time of their session. To his surprise, it was almost halfway through already. He was certain that not every session would fly by as quickly, but it was nice that this first one hadn’t been excruciating and uncomfortable.

“So,” he began again, and shared his passion for dance with Angelique, sparing no details of how he felt and what ballet did for him and his emotions. Being a dancer was where all the troubles and pain came about, but the act of dancing itself was ethereal. Nothing else mattered when he was dancing. Sure he might mess up some steps here and there or get tired after a while, but those things never bothered him in the moment. In the moment it was just Lucas in his purest form, and that was the sort of feeling he wanted to be able to find away from the stage or the studio.

When he spoke, he was worried Angelique wouldn’t understand, but he could see in her eyes that she did. She may not know anything about the finer details of which he spoke, but the overall feelings were universal, and as long as they both knew that Lucas could see their sessions being really good for him. He hoped they would be, at least.

It was a big, scary step to take to even go there in the first place, but he was proud of himself for doing so. Lucas from months or even weeks ago probably never would have predicted this. But he was Lucas Lallemant 2.0 now, and he’d found some love for himself that he was determined not to lose again for as long as he could. And if he ever did lose it again, he wanted to know how to find his way back, and being there with Angelique seemed like a great place to start.

Mercredi 9:39

It was the third day of dress rehearsals and Lucas was finally able to practice in his properly fitted costumes. He’d felt a twinge of guilt on Monday when he’d tried on the costumes made for him and realized they were at least a few sizes too big. He hadn’t really thought that was possible, but the measurements had been taken right after casting, and though no one had said anything about how much weight he’d lost in the meantime, the proof was in the outfitting.

It was a wonder to him how he hadn’t seen it, but then again he really hadn’t wanted to, and his brain liked to trick him into believing or disbelieving things more often than not. His ribs protruded too far and his collarbone was too defined and his jawline wasn’t sharp in the right kind of way, but he promised himself he would get back on track and try to fix the damage he’d wrought on his body for real. Sooner than later.

Lucas could see in Eliott’s eyes that he knew why Lucas had been quieter than normal while getting dressed, lost in his own head. He didn’t really want to talk about it, partially because he was ashamed and partially because he didn’t even know what he would say. Being thinner had never really been his objective, he’d always been fit from rigorous dance training, but there had always been that voice in the back of his mind telling him what a real ballet dancer looked like and how he needed to do everything in his power to be that person so no one would be able to overlook him ever again.

Yet in doing so he’d somehow allowed himself to waste away to someone small and fragile. He didn’t want to be fragile, he wanted to wear his costumes with pride and show the world that Lucas Lallemant wasn’t broken. The people he loved already knew it, and a part of him did realize that it shouldn’t matter if the whole world knew as long as the people he cared about did, but Lucas had always wanted more, flawed as that logic might have been.

Complicated emotions aside, it did fill Lucas with a bit of pride to be practicing the role of the Prince in full costume. Another thing he could see in Eliott’s eyes was how much he wanted to see Lucas outside of that costume, or maybe even have his way with him in it, and that was not very conducive to the fact that he was wearing tights.

Funny how he’d have to revert to all his old ignoring Eliott tactics for an entirely different reason. Thankfully, he was quite busy, as he was rehearsing for the Prince that day. When he’d been informed that he’d be the Prince in the first show instead of Eliott he’d gone from shock, to panic, to unease, to cautious acceptance. Eliott said he didn’t care, that he was happy to have a chance to dance the role at all, but Lucas knew it made Eliott a little upset that Lucas got to open and close their show in the lead role. He would have felt the same, but probably would have been more vocal about it.

Manon looked beautiful, of course. At the moment she was dressed in her Odile costume, the darkness of the tutu standing out starkly against her pale skin. No one could say she didn’t look striking up there on the stage, even during a simple dress rehearsal. Imane would have looked just as striking, and Lucas made sure to let her know that even if she pretended she didn’t want to hear it.

Lucas risked a glance at Eliott as Manon practiced her fouettes, mind trailing back to the weekend, knowing before their eyes even met that Eliott was thinking of the same thing.

You did them better, Eliott mouthed across the room, nodding to Manon.

He most absolutely did not, but he appreciated the sentiment. It must have shown on his face, all sappy and soft, because behind Eliott Yann mimed puking and Lucas had to take a momentary glance away from the man of his dreams to glare at this best friend. Eliott’s brows furrowed, turning and laughing in a small inaudible breath when he realized Yann was beside him. Lucas briefly wondered if he could (or should) start inviting Eliott to hang out with him and Arthur sometimes. He thought he might like that, and he thought Eliott might too.

“Lallemant, to the stage please,” the director called out, voice reeking of displeasure, but for once Lucas didn’t give a shit. After the show his interactions with the director would likely be kept to a minimum, so long as he didn’t fuck up like he had this term, and then he’d be gone and the director would only be a blip on the tapestry of his life. One that, with effort, could someday be stitched over.

Nevertheless, he did go to the stage, because no matter how shitty the director was it was like he’d explained to Angelique the day before; ballet meant too much to him to give into all the bad things. Maybe that was an unhealthy way to think too, but he could cross that bridge some other time. The same thoughts that had been plaguing him plagued him once more, his career and what it would end up being flitting in and out of the center of his thoughts.he closed his eyes briefly, brushing it all aside. For now, he was choosing to let himself enjoy this experience as it came and not dwell on the things he might have dwelled on a few weeks prior.

Lucas took Manon’s hand to practice one of their duets, and the soft smile that graced her face as he did so perfectly encapsulated how he felt under the lights of the stage, dressed in his costume, knowing that Eliott was probably watching him with pride. The last time he’d been on the stage with only one other person he and Eliott had been alone, wondering if their futures were about to slip through their fingers and if this was the last stage they’d ever dance on.

Manon and Lucas danced together seamlessly, a bond forged in what may as well have been blood, as she was one of the closest things he’d ever had to a sister, shared experiences and emotional support bringing them together in a way that impacted their dancing in the subtlest of ways. It was trust in its purest form, and it worked for the stage and the show in ways neither of them probably would have imagined when they’d been partnered up a year beforehand. Neither Lucas nor Manon had ever really been the trusting sort, but once someone earned that trust they’d go to the ends of the earth for them.

Lucas was still getting used to the idea that someone might actually go to the ends of the earth for him, that many people would if given the chance. The funny thing was, Lucas had never considered whether or not the ends of the earth even existed, he’d simply been certain everything in life had a definitive starting and ending point and that nothing in the middle really mattered much at all.

But on that stage, taking Manon by the hand, locking eyes with Eliott in the wings, he could see that everything in between mattered most of all. What was a beginning without something to follow, to turn a moment into infinity? And what was an end if not for everything leading up to that point, that one final moment? It was more likely that an end didn’t even exist, that the present was all that really mattered.

Minute by minute, Lucas and Eliott had promised, and minute by minute it would be until those minutes reached their eternity.

JEUDI 23:57

Lucas’ head was on Eliott’s chest but he wasn’t tired. He should have been sleeping, the show was less than twenty four hours away, but he couldn’t bring himself to. At first he dismissed it as nerves, but he truthfully wasn’t that nervous. At least not in a bad way.

He was thinking, that pesky thing that always seemed to get him into trouble. Not about the show in particular, but a little bit about everything. The same thoughts from earlier in the week had hit him like a ton of bricks earlier that day and now he couldn’t get them out of his mind, no matter how much he tried. It seemed ironic, given how he’d only been thinking about how imperative it was to live in the moment a day ago, that he now was considering the future once more.

The thought that had struck him had come at a brief moment, and surprisingly it hadn’t had anything to do with him at all. Eliott was onstage practicing and the director was looking at him with such distaste that some of his friends had even asked Lucas about it. And yes, Lucas knew that the decision to let them stay had likely not been unanimous, the director leading the opposition, but Eliott had been his star for so long that to see him flip completely only bolstered with the information of Eliott’s mental illness was sickening. It was disheartening and downright cruel to see what a change such a thing could bring, something entirely out of Eliott’s control, simply because the director viewed neurodivergence as lesser than. It wasn’t only him, of course, it would and probably had been already, many people, but it made Lucas think.

He’d always dreamed of entering the company after completing his training at school, the Paris Opera Ballet was one of, if not the most prestigious ballet in the world, but did he want that if he had a pretty good idea of how he’d be treated? Did he want to put himself into a situation that might derail his healing process? If not, what were his other options? The realization that his future was almost entirely his decision had come without warning and pushed the thoughts into a full on spiral.

“Lu?” Eliott’s sleepy voice interrupted the train of questions pushing their way into his mind.

Lucas hummed in response, listening to Eliott’s heartbeat. Eliott continued, just as groggily, “I can hear you thinking.”

“Can you?” Lucas teased, half of him willing Eliott to go back to sleep the other half wanting to talk and talk and talk until all the thoughts ran free from his head and he felt like he could breathe peacefully again.

“Lucas,” Eliott said, sounding more awake now than before, and Lucas sighed.

“Eliott.”

Eliott shifted so they were lying opposite one another, ignoring Lucas’ small groans at being denied Eliott’s chest as a pillow. “What’s going on?”

Lucas sighed again. “I know we promised minute by minute, and I’m trying, but these thoughts won’t leave my mind and I don’t know what to do about them.”

“What thoughts?” Eliott looked concerned, and Lucas didn’t want him to be.

“I don’t want to be here next year,” he said quietly, realizing how that sounded when Eliott stiffened beside him. He rushed to clarify, “Like, in the Paris Opera Ballet. I don’t want to dance for the Paris Opera Ballet.”

Eliott relaxed slightly, nodding. “Oh. Yeah. Where do you want to be?”

Lucas hadn’t gotten that far yet. “I don’t know. Somewhere I’m not already a pariah.”

“You aren’t a pariah—”

“We both are, Eliott. The director has a say in the company too, and I don’t want to give him the chance to ruin ballet for me more than he’s already tried to,” Lucas pleaded, not really sure why he was pleading. It wasn’t like Eliott wasn’t listening to him, he was. Lucas just felt the need to justify everything to an extreme degree all the time.

Eliott simply looked at him in one of those ways he always did, one of those ways no one ever had before, and touched his cheek softly. “Hey. Lucas. I understand.”

“Oh.”

Eliott smiled minutely, thumb brushing Lucas’ cheekbone. “I haven’t really allowed myself to think about it, since my diagnosis, but… I don’t know if I want to be here either.”

“Really?” Lucas blinked in surprise. The way Eliott loved Paris… Lucas had never seen anything like it, so he’d never even considered Eliott might feel the same way he did.

“It hurts me a bit to even think about,” Eliott admitted, “Because I love Paris more than I can even express, but Paris will always be here.”

“What do you mean?” Lucas asked.

Eliott moved his hand to Lucas’ hair. “I want to experience a bit of the world outside what I’ve always known. I’ll always have Paris, we’ll always have Paris, but it might be fun to see what else the world has in store for us. I’ve always wanted to go to London, or Berlin, or America, I don’t know. I don’t know what I’m saying.”

“Hey,” Lucas said, placing a hand on Eliott’s cheek. “I want that too, I think. I’ve just been scared to admit it to myself. Paris is just a place, when it really comes down to it. I’ve never really had a home until now. My home is with you.”

Eliott blushed, looking a bit flustered even in the dim light and Lucas couldn’t help but smile. “And mine with you,” Eliott said, voice no more than a murmur.

Lucas turned onto his back and gazed up at the ceiling. Sometimes he forgot whose room they were in at night, but it was usually Eliott’s. Lucas knew that Eliott liked sleeping there better, in the comfort of the drawings and posters he’d hung up on the walls in the bed with the sheets he carefully made every day. Lucas preferred being in there too, it felt warmer than his room, more personal. They were almost through with the term and Lucas had yet to put up any decorations in his own room or make it look like more than a place he slept every once and awhile. Eliott’s hand slipped from his cheek to his waist.

“What are you thinking about now?” Eliott asked.

“Us, I guess,” Lucas said, gaze still turned upward.

“What about us? Good things I hope?” Lucas could hear the hint of a smile in Eliott’s voice and he let it wash over him like a warm blanket.

Lucas folded his hand over the one Eliott circled his waist with. “Of course. I think only the best things of you.”

“You didn’t for quite a while there,” Eliott joked, and Lucas finally turned his head back to look at him.

“No, I didn’t.” He hummed, settling back into Eliott’s side. “Part of me has always been afraid of change, you know? But this year so many things have changed, and I don’t really mind it.”

“No?”

Lucas shook his head. “I mean, for example, I moved out of my dad’s house, which is probably one of the best decisions I’ve ever made, I became closer with Manon than I ever thought I’d be and now I can’t imagine my life without her, I had to face some new realities about myself and my mental and physical health, and I fell in love with you. If you would have told me last year that any of this would be happening, I’m not sure if I would have laughed or fought it with every fiber of my being, but I’m glad I didn’t. I’m glad it all happened.”

“You’re telling me it was never a fantasy of yours to fall in love with your arch nemesis?” Eliott asked, scandalized.

Lucas laughed louder than he meant to, thinking about Yann talking about enemies to lovers fanfiction and whatnot. “Was it yours?”

“Oh, absolutely,” Eliott agreed right away. “I thrive off of sexual tension concealed by a layer of hate. That’s the only reason I let you hate me, of course, so that one day you could push me into a fountain, I could pull you in after me, and our story would reach its peak.”

“Psssh, that is so not the peak of our story,” Lucas shot back.

Eliott raised an eyebrow at him. “No?”

“No! Our peak hasn’t happened yet. If we’re lucky, it never will.” Lucas began to draw a graph with his hands, hoping Eliott was following along. “It’s like one of those graphs for exponential growth, you know? The curve keeps going up with no end.”

“You lost me,” Eliott said apologetically, and Lucas just laughed.

“I forgot math and science aren’t your subjects.”

Eliott scrunched his nose, nudging Lucas a bit. “No need to rub it in smarty pants.”

Lucas nudged him back, taking the time to meet him halfway for a soft, searing kiss. “All I’m saying is that I love you exponentially. My love for you grows each day with no intention of ever stopping, even when we’re old and grey.”

“Bold of you to assume I’ll ever be old and grey.”

Lucas giggled despite himself, despite the fact that he’d been trying to be serious. “What the fuck does that even mean? Are you a vampire or something?”

“They don’t call me Edward Cullen for no reason,” Eliott said with a slight shrug, and Lucas broke down into giggles again.

“Who calls you Edward Cullen?” he asked between bouts of laughter.

Eliott started to laugh too, trying to hide it. “No one yet. But they will.”

“You’re such an idiot,” Lucas said, adoration coating every layer of his voice.

“Ah,” Eliott said, pulling him close. He kissed the tip of Lucas’ nose, then his lips. “But I’m your idiot.”

Lucas blushed bright red, kissing Eliott senseless because he could. “That you are,” he agreed. And it was in that dim, love drunk light that Lucas realized no matter what he decided or what he wanted to do with his life and his career, he could do it. Because he had Eliott, and he could do anything with Eliott by his side. With Eliott the dark wasn’t so dark and the light had never been brighter.

It was crazy to think that he’d never considered the possibility of another person making him feel that way, like his heart was on fire in the best way possible. Daddy issues aside, love was never something he’d taken for granted, and he had never intended on giving his heart away unless he knew the person on the receiving end deserved it. And that Eliott did, he deserved every bit of love Lucas could offer.

Internal tumult put to the wayside for the time being, Lucas breathed in and out more steadily once more. His eyelids felt heavier than they had a moment earlier and he leaned into the feeling, aiming to be as well rested as possible for one of the biggest days of his life so far. He wondered, at the end of his life, how this day would rank, if it would rank at all. He couldn’t decide if he hoped it did or hoped it didn’t. There were so many good days to come, there had to be.

Lucas was on the precipice of sleep, brain shutting down more and more with each passing second when Eliott decided to speak again. “And by the way?” Eliott whispered, just as Lucas settled back onto his chest, falling closer to sleep with every passing second, “I love you exponentially as well.”

Lucas fell asleep with a smile on his face.

VENDREDI 18:45

Fifteen minutes.

Fifteen minutes until everything Lucas had worked so hard for was realized. Rehearsals had been hell, even though they had really only been finalizing blocking and lighting, not wanting to tire anyone too much before their big night.

Manon looked to be a vision of calm in her white tutu, makeup done to perfection, probably by Daphné, who held her hand loosely. They’d all just vacated the stage and waited in the wings, smiles full of eagerness and anxiety. Imane in particular refused to talk to anyone, tying and retying her pointe shoes. Lucas felt like his whole body was buzzing with nerves, but there was nothing more to be done. This was it. They’d made it, and now it was time to show everyone what they could do.

He didn’t know whether he felt better or worse about the fact that there was no one in the audience there to cheer him on. On the one hand, he could probably dance better for a crowd of strangers than he could for people he knew, but on the other it would have meant everything to him to see his mother’s face out in the crowd, or even just to know that she was proud of him. He hoped that in another universe she was proud, and that she would greet him after the show with a bouquet of flowers and a hug to last a lifetime.

Minor costume snafus aside, everything backstage was running well and everyone was where they were supposed to be. Eliott looked like a dream, even dressed for the corps. Lucas hadn’t mentioned anything, but he could see the longing in Eliott’s eyes when he looked at him, longing that couldn’t be attributed to the love they felt for one another. Sure, come Saturday Eliott would have his chance to be in Lucas’ position, but this was supposed to be him, and he wasn’t supposed to have to share the spotlight.

Basile had been blowing up his, Arthur’s, and Yann’s phones before they’d gotten into preparation mode, so he could only assume that he’d find Basile, Alexia, Alex, and Idriss somewhere in the crowd being the kind of idiots ballet tried to avoid. He loved them for it.

Arthur came to stand beside Lucas, looking down at him. It wasn’t like Lucas had never seen him wear contacts before, but he was still struck with how different Arthur looked without his glasses. He looked less like a boy, more like someone regal, deserving to be sculpted in marble. He looked like the type of person Lucas could only hope to be someday, even if it was all just a facade.

“How are you feeling?” Arthur asked.

Lucas looked out to the stage from the wings, wanting to pinch himself to make sure this was all real. “Ask me again after the show?”

The corner of Arthur’s mouth quirked up. “You’re going to do amazing,” Arthur promised, sounding so sure.

“Thanks,” Lucas said genuinely, instead of deflecting with a snarky comment like he wanted to. “You too.”

“Pssh, please, with Eliott in the corps no one will look at me twice,” Arthur joked.

Lucas could have joked back, or rolled his eyes, but being where they were, he was feeling a bit sentimental. “They’d be stupid not to,” he said, and Arthur looked surprised.

“I mean it,” he continued, looking Arthur in the eye, “You’re a really amazing dancer. I know you’ve been through a lot, and if I were you I probably would have quit a long time ago, but I can see how much you love it when you allow yourself to. So do that, allow yourself to love it, because this world is a horribly fucked up place but if you can find happiness somewhere along the way you should hold onto it and never let it go.”

Arthur was still looking at him intently, unspeaking. “It’s what I do,” Lucas admitted, “And you know me, I’m no optimist, I don’t believe that everything happens for a reason and that everything we do is all in god’s plan, or whatever, but I do think that we can create new memories to try to escape the bad ones, and that when we love something, it should never be a bad thing.”

“You’re wise now, too, who the hell are you?” Arthur said, looking him up and down, which was about as sentimental as he expected from Arthur. But then, he admitted, “I’m trying. To enjoy it. I want to, because all of you here mean more to me than anyone else in my life, and if anyone deserves one hundred percent of me, it’s you all.”

“Me especially?” Lucas asked, nudging Arthur lightly and earning him a glare.

“Yes, you especially,” Arthur caved, pointing a finger at him as he did so, “But not because I’m in love with you. Or was in love with you. Fuck if I know anymore. Even platonically, you’re one of the most important people to me, I really mean that.”

Lucas smiled, tears pricking the corners of his eyes. He was determined not to let them fall, even if only because Daphné had done his makeup so well. “You are to me too. And I really mean that.”

“Are the gays being all sappy, is that what I’m witnessing?” Another voice entered their conversation, a voice unmistakably belonging to the third in their three musketeers. Yann slung an arm around both of their shoulders, grinning cheesily. “Because if so, why didn’t you invite me?”

Arthur rolled his eyes, expression tinged with fondness. “I’m bi, asshole.”

“A gay is a gay,” Yann said solemnly, and Lucas resisted the urge to strangle him.

The three of them stood there for a minute in complete silence, even as the world bustled around them, looking out onto the stage.

“I can’t believe we’re actually here,” Yann said, all traces of humor gone from his voice. Lucas couldn’t do anything but nod, as if in a daze.

“It’s surreal,” Arthur agreed.

And then the moment ended, Emma shoving past them to get in the proper place, and Lucas realized their fifteen minutes had run out. Eliott was on the other side of the stage, but they’d already said their break a legs and kissed each other senseless for the night.

Manon’s fingers ghosted across his and he saw every emotion he was feeling reflected in her expression. He clasped her fingers, squeezing them tightly, and the small amount of tension that had been present left her shoulders, leaving her looking every bit the regal prima ballerina she was destined to be.

“Are you ready?” someone asked. Lucas didn’t even know if they were talking to him, but as the curtains opened and the lights flooded the stage, he smiled. Eliott’s eye caught his from the wings on the opposite side of the stage, filling him to the brim with warmth. There was no jealousy, no longing, just pure love and pride. The music filled the room and Lucas rolled back his shoulders, wasting only a single moment to mouth I love you across the stage to the boy on the other side. He stepped to the edge of the curtain, awaiting his cue.

“I am.”

***

The curtains closed, but the image of a whole crowd of people standing and cheering as he bowed in front of them didn’t leave Lucas’ mind, and he hoped it never would. He couldn’t feel a thing, adrenaline too high, everyone around him looked like they were moving in slow motion.

“How are you feeling?” Arthur’s voice invaded his daze, and Lucas blinked, image of the crowd vanishing from his mind. Ask me after the show, he heard himself saying only hours earlier as Arthur had asked the same question.

He thought about Manon and how they’d danced as one, a bond unbreakable in every sense of the word. Meeting Eliott’s eye backstage and kissing him during intermission, careful not to mess up their makeup. Sofiane pulling off a showstopping performance no one would ever forget. All the girls sharing the stage looking like they’d been born to dance there together. Julian from the year below holding his own on the stage, wholly out of his depth but handling it all better than anyone could have expected. Yann proving that he wasn’t someone to overlook, Arthur letting himself go and dance the way he’d held back from for so many years. The fact that they got to do this all again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again.

How was he feeling? Alive, happy, lost, tired, whole, every emotion in between a million times over. He thought of every universe he existed in, and how none of them could possibly compared to this one, in this moment.

Eliott swept him up spinning him around with the widest smile Lucas had ever seen.

How was he feeling?

“Infinite.”

#skam france #elu fic #elu #elu ballet au #skamfr #lucas lallemant #eliott demaury #WE BACK BITCHES

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taizi · 5 years

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Ooooh how about some natsume&exorcist interactions??? Ive been in a super angst mood lately and nothing qualifies as angst quite like the various exorcist clans

Touko may be a lot of things, but she likes to think that she is not a fool.

When Takashi comes to the door with a stranger in tow, and the stranger introduces himself warmly as Matoba Seiji, what a pleasure it is to finally meet you, Touko smiles politely but all of her attention is on Takashi.

He’s clutching his cat like it’s a lifeline, the only thing keeping him afloat at sea, and his eyes are bleak. His hair is a curtain that he’s hiding behind, the way it only rarely is anymore. He is so tense beneath Matoba’s hand that it would be impossible to mistake them for friends.

This man is not kind, she realizes instantly. Whatever business he has here, it’s nothing good.

And she has to struggle for a moment against the very real impulse to reach out and snatch Takashi safely away.

“And here I thought I’d met most of Takashi’s friends already,” Touko says instead, drying her hands on her smock in case they’re still wet with dishwater. “They come by so often, you know. Even our neighbors recognize them. Everyone knows everything that goes on around here, I’m afraid.”

Matoba’s eyes narrow just a fraction, even as his pleasant expression doesn’t change. He seems more aware, now, of Watanabe-san across the street sweeping leaves off her porch and pretending not to eavesdrop. Of old Saito-san walking his dog slowly past the unfamiliar car in the road, disapproving of its showy, sleek black lines with a scowl. Of the cluster of retirees with their easels and paints, heading past to the hill nearby where they’ve taken to painting the bright countryside, sparing Touko a friendly wave as they go, and Matoba a lingering look of small-town curiosity.

It is not quite a warning, and certainly not a threat, but a gentle reminder. Touko is alone in this house until Shigeru comes home from work and Takashi comes home from school, but she is not without help if she needs it.

“I’m usually too busy for house calls, unfortunately,” Matoba says. “I’m the head of a rather large clan, and there’s always work to be done.”

“And how is it that you know Takashi?”

“He’s done some work for me before. He’s very talented. I was actually hoping to talk to you about a possible apprenticeship. We’ve reached an understanding, he and I, about what is important.”

Touko laughs, though she doesn’t feel much like laughing, and presses a hand to her face. “Oh, dear, what a silly thing to say! Takashi is a smart boy. He knows very well what is important, with or without your understanding.”

They’re still standing in front of the house, Takashi and Matoba on the porch, and Touko just inside the genkan. There’s no invitation to come inside, and Takashi finally seems to realize he’s not on his own. He lifts his head to look at her, something like hope bleeding in his eyes.

Touko keeps smiling, and holds out her hands.

She doesn’t have to say anything. This is her home, and this is her son, and when Takashi dares slip out from beneath the hand on his shoulder, Matoba only hesitates a moment before letting him go.

Touko touches Takashi’s hair, a reassurance– for him or herself, she isn’t sure.

“Why don’t you go inside and help me put away the laundry?” she asks him gently, eager to see him away from this stranger. “Your friends are coming over later, and I’d hate not to have the chores finished before they arrive.”

He hesitates. He badly wants to go, she can tell, shaken by whatever close call this was. But then his cat digs its claws into his arm– not hard enough to cut, just to startle– and starts to squirm. Takashi says “oh” in a quiet voice and hands the silly thing over to Touko, where it curls up in the crook of her arms guardedly.

Takashi looks relieved that his guard cat will keep her safe, the sweet child, and ducks past her into the house. Matoba looks unsettled, close to anger, off-kilter without Takashi under his hand. He’s giving the cat a hateful look, and Touko has had enough of this shadow darkening her front porch.

“I’ve no interest in letting Takashi go anywhere with you,” she tells the man with a frown. “And neither will his father. Please leave my family alone from now on.”

Matoba blinks, slow and thoughtful. Every move he makes is languid, self-assured, but when he takes a step forward it’s quickly aborted; Nyankichi growls low and deep in his throat, a clearer warning than any flashing sign.

“There is a lot about that boy you don’t know,” Matoba says. He still hasn’t lost the half-smile on his face, as though it’s just another strange article he’s wearing like the patch over his right eye. “A lot I could tell you that would make you think of him differently.”

Touko presses her mouth into a thin line, trying not to give into anger. She thinks of the rumors that followed Takashi since he was a young child, and the countless homes he was recycled through, and his medical history of bruises and broken bones and the clinical, objective charts of abuse. She thinks of the boy who came home to them that first time, little more than a golden shadow with faraway eyes, and she thinks of the boy who comes home to them now, with a gift of fresh flowers in his hand, or a pack of rowdy friends at his heels, or a laugh tucked away in the corners of his smile like a timid creature not yet sure of its safety. She thinks of a white crow, and the softness on Takashi’s face when he called it beautiful, gazing up into the sky at something only he could see.

She looks at the young man in front of her, dark in all the places Takashi is light, and says, “What on earth do you think you could tell me, to make me love him less?”

It throws him off. She sees the surprise bloom in his cold eyes like winter flowers, and his smile finally falters. Nyankichi purrs in her arms as if in triumph.

“I think you should leave,” Touko says firmly.

Matoba’s eyes move. He’s looking at something outside the house, around it, and above, on the roof. One would think Touko had a guard assembled around her, for the way Matoba seemed to be weighing his odds. But it’s just her, and Takashi’s spoiled cat, and a gentle wind that stirs up the dead leaves at their feet, that presses against her like a half dozen supporting hands.

He takes a step back, then another. “I think you’re right, Fujiwara-san.”

It’s polite, with another one of those unfeeling smiles, and then Matoba bows shortly and leaves. Touko watches him walk away, and sighs her relief when she’s sure that he’s gone.

“My, my,” she tells Nyankichi, heart racing now that the confrontation is over, “Shigeru will hardly believe it when I tell him how we protected the house!”

“He’ll believe it,” Takashi says from right behind her. He must not have gone far. His expression is impossibly caring, as close to love as he’s capable of yet, and he looks at Touko like a child looking at the moon for the first time. When his eyes move around her the way Matoba-san’s did, whatever invisible things he sees there make him smile. “I’ll tell him, too. He’ll have no choice to believe us then.”

Touko laughs brightly, meaning it this time, and passes his heavy cat back. A good boy I’ve got, she thinks fondly, and closes the front door behind them when they’re all safely inside.

#natsume yuujinchou #natsuyuu #fujiwara touko #natsume takashi #matoba seiji #my writing #prompt #orangecatinabasket #natsuyuu fic #that rare and elusive matoba fic :0

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flowiehowie · 5 years

Text

Maid Cafe Au

I am unaware if it was a thing before (Probably because these types of Au’s are pretty common) but after seeing @nobodyfamousposts attempts to ignore Animaestro created a Maid Cafe Au I thought it was a fun chance for fluff. So Here is part one of a i don’t know how many parts. And yes this is an excuse to get Marinette a bun and new friends.

Part 1 - A new prospect. Marinette liked to believe that she did well with managing her life's many responsibilities. Between school, helping out at her parents bakery, hanging out with her friends, fighting akuma, and her own interests and hobbies there wasn’t that much time in the day. She tried her best, however reluctantly, to not let herself slip in any of her duties. Yes, here or there she was late for an activity with her friends, or she might have dozed off during a lecture form Ms. Bustier, but all in all she managed it well.

Apparently not as well as she had thought.

Marinette was sitting in the back of the class staring out of the window lazily. Spring was around the corner and the cold weather was being chased away by longer days and warm weather. The morning was slightly nippy, but now in the afternoon the sun was shining and Marinette just wanted to curl up and take a nap.

Marinette let out a dreamy sigh before looking back at her notebook where she was doodling ideas for new outfit designs. Class was almost over and a half hour ago Ms. Bustier gave them worksheets to work on silently for the rest of the day. Marinette had finished hers about ten minutes ago and started thinking of new spring designs. She normally didn’t wear skirts, preferring jeans, but was thinking of maybe trying something new. It was spring after all, time for new beginnings. And she certainly needed one of those, so she doodled out various skirt designs.

She was fairly content until a loud laugh came from the front of the class. Marinette looked up and saw Alya leaning over her desk to talk to Lila, who was currently laughing obnoxiously in her, “Oh silly girl, I'm about to tell you why you are wrong,” way. Marinette scowled down at her, clenching her pencil as tight as she could. She couldn’t hear what little miss ‘pay attention to me’ was saying, but she knew it was some outlandish lie.

Marinette continued to scowl down and was tempted to march over there and yell at Lila, until she caught sight of Adrian next to her. The blonde model was currently sitting as far as he could from Lila and his polite smile seemed strange. As if sensing her, his eyes darted up and made contact with hers. Marinette felt all her anger vanish along with her breathe as his green eyes met hers, and his smile seemed more genuine and he gave a small wave. A blush crept up on Marinette's face and with a small smile she returned his wave. Adrien then reluctantly returned to the conversation with Alya and Lila, and Marinette turned back to her sketchbook, feeling a tad hollow inside.

She heard a small tapping on her desk, and looked over and saw her bag resting on the table and Tikki’s red round head sticking out of it with a with a comforting smile. The little Kwami mouthed words of comfort and Marinette gave her a thankful smile. Marinette always felt close to her Kwami, but the last few weeks the bond has strengthened. Tikki was the only one who was actively on her side when it came to Lila, and she felt like Marinette’s only true friend anymore. After blowing Tikki a kiss to let her know she was okay, Marinette turned back to her design and decided that she was going to make her skirt Tikki themed. It was spring after all, Tikki’s favorite season.

The last few minutes passed silently and soon class was dismissed. Marinette watched on solemnly as Alya packed up her things quickly and most of the class left fawning over Lila, not even sparing her a glance. Marinette gathered up her things silently, hating how she was becoming used to being alone. She stayed focus on gathering her things and didn’t notice when a certain boy came up behind her. A cheerful voice shocked her.

“Hey Marinette, do you need some help?”

Marinette stood up suddenly and spun around to face Adrien, only to find she spun too enthusiastically and almost fell over. With a bit of a shout Marinette found herself on one foot balancing carefully, Adrien looking concerned and having a hand out to catch her in case she fell. ‘Drat’, Marinette thought to herself as she flashed Adrien a smile both apologetic and sheepish, ‘,I should have fallen.’

“Oh, Adrien! Hi! Um- Hello! Yes- um. No, I don't want your help. Or- Ah! I mean I don't need your help! I would certainly want you-IT! It- Your help that is but I am already done packing and… hehe…” A violent flush came across her face as she looked down, eyes darting from the floor to Adrien back and forth. Adrien seemed surprised at first, but as usual seemed to ignore Marinettes stuttering and gave her a bright smile.

“Well in that case would you like me to walk you home? My bodyguard can trail behind us in the limo so it should be fine with my Father.”

Marinette must have fallen and died. That was the only explanation as to why she was now in Heaven. All bad thoughts of Lila were pushed aside as a large smile grew on her face. She nodded quickly. “Yes I would love you- THAT! That. I would love that! I mean not love. Psh who said love. Like It would be cool if we walked together. Yeah, cool. Like Me.” Marinette then tried to demonstrate how cool she felt by getting her bag strap caught on her chair as she tried to walk forward and the chairs toppled over her, causing her to squeak loudly.

After a short embarrassing moment of fixing the chair Marinette decided the best course of action would to slowly curl up on herself and die forever. Not being able to do that however, she gave Adrien an apology which he waved off, and the two began to walk down the steps, Adrien filling the silence by talking about the new game Ultra Mecha Strike iV was coming out and how they should play together. Marinette was slowly calming down and was going to risk attempting to agree that they should, when a voice stopped her.

“Marinette, actually, could you wait a second. I would like to talk to you about something.”

Marinette turned to see Ms. Bustier standing near her desk, looking towards Marinette. Marinette was confused but nodded and turned to apologize to Adrien. He waved her off once again and said he would wait for her outside the school. Marinette allowed herself a dreamy sigh and then turned back to her teacher, who was watching them both with a small smile.

“What did you need Miss Bustier?” Marinette asked curiously as she sat at the offered seat across the teachers desk. “Did I not turn in my Class Rep report? I could have sworn I did it yesterday?”

“No, Marinette, it's not that. I have your report and its very well done, as always,” Miss Bustier said kindly as she walked around the desk and leaned against it, causing Marinette to have a small smile. “No, I am afraid this is about your frequent tardiness and your occasional absences. Unfortunately, they have gotten to the point that they can’t be overlooked.”

Marinette straightened up, her face going concerned. She knew she cut it close here and there, but she had thought they were under control. “I’m so sorry Miss Bustier. I try really hard but it's just with my parents bakery and the akuma attacks and,” Miss Bustier raised a hand to stop Marinette and she smiled kindly at the young girl, and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.

“Listen I know you are busy. And I know how hard you try Marinette. You always keep your grades up and keep a positive attitude around class which is why I typically overlook it, but Principle Damocles is worried about your record for tardiness and your commitment to your education. “ Bustier leaned back and crossed her arms loosely, keeping her voice calm and soothing so as to not upset Marinette.

“I have assured him multiple times that you are one of our best and brightest, but he is still concerned as to how it looks on paper to the board. He wanted disciplinary measures, but I offered another idea that he is agreeable to.”

Marinette looked on with concern and confusion, her hands clenched as Miss Bustier reached back and grabbed something off her desk as she continued to talk. “As you may be aware we allow our upper class students to use school expenses to undergo certain projects. Usually such ventures are reserved for those about to leave Lycee, but some exceptions get made for special students. Such as Mr. Felix Alium.”

Marinette raised her eyebrow, a bit confused as to what this all had to do with her punishment and absences. “Who is Felix?” Marinette asked instead, assuming Miss Bustier would get to the point eventually.

“Felix is a student a year above you, and he is exceptionally bright. Top of all his classes, and is already being looked at by several private Lycee’s. Despite his young age he is already adamant that his future will be business minded. After several meetings with the board and with Mr. Damocles, it has been decided that under teacher supervision Felix will be put in charge of a small business venture courtesy of the school. We will be opening a small cafe which will be mostly student run. It will be funded by the school and will run the entirety of Spring break, and possibly after. The school will only be in charge on a high managerial level, the venture however is entirely Felix’s. It will go to extra credit and will look quite good on any application.” Miss Bustier finally offered Marinette the envelope she grabbed off her desk, and Marinette curiously opened it.

“Now it will have students working the cafe, with Felix serving as Manager. He has scouted out those he wanted to take along the venture with our approval. He has expressed interest in having you involved, however I was hesitant at first with your track record. However it has been decided by Mr. Damocles and I. Either you work on this project with Felix, or you take extra classes throughout spring break. The choice is between you and your parents, who we have already notified.”

Marinette’s head was spinning with all this information. She numbly thumbed through the folder, seeing various essays and plans for this supposed Cafe. Apparently it wouldn't be just a normal cafe, but something called a ‘Maid’ cafe. It seemed to cater to young teenagers and cosplayers, and it seemed this Felix fellow was pushing to have a day all in honor of the Cities heroes; Ladybug and Chat Noir. Not out of respect or admiration it seemed, but because it would bring in the most money if his essays were anything to go by.

This Felix seemed very smart and business minded. He seemed to have everything already planned, and on list of potential workers her name was written in his supposed very neat handwriting. Which brought up another thing: why her? She doesn't know who this Felix was. Never even heard his name before. How did he know hers? She relayed this to Miss Bustier, who smiled in returned.

“You may not have noticed Marinette, but you have been making quite a name for yourself. You are the child of two very successful bakers, and you have designed for Jagged stone and won a contest judged by Gabriel Agreste himself. Like Felix you are very exceptional, and I think it's wise on his part to wish to include you.”

Marinette couldn’t help the blush that crept on her face and she looked down at her face. She had a pleased smile on her lips, though. She was never one to brag, and never tried to, but the fact that people have noticed all those accomplishments filled her with pride. She vaguely knew they were big deals, but to have them laid out like that to her made Marinette felt like she was doing something right.

“Listen Marinette, If you do decide to go into this project, know you must fully commit. Felix will be giving reviews of all the students helping. If yours is not to our liking Mr. Damocles may see fit to exercise further punishments. So think carefully about this, and talk with your parents about it. I will need an answer by the end of the week okay?”

Marinette nodded and she stood up, still flipping through the envelope. The more she read about this the more intrigued she was. She said goodbye to Miss Bustier and thanked her for all her kind words and for understanding how busy she could be. As Marinette walked out of the doors to the school, she looked around for Adrien, but frowned when she saw Lila and Chloe were both pawing all over him. He looked very uncomfortable and Marinette felt a familiar anger burn in her stomach.

Before she could act however, Adrien looked up and saw her. He gave her an apologetic shrug, and tried to get the two off him. Before he could however his Bodyguard seemed fed up and personally walked over and pulled Adrien into the Limo. Adrien managed to wave at marinette sadly before the Limo pulled away. Marinette waved gently, the anger turning hollow again as she sighed.

“Marinette…?” A concerned voice came from her bag and Marinette looked down to see Tikki looking at her concerned.

“I’m fine Tikki. I’m used to it.” Marinette sighed, and shot the kwami her best smile, before she began to walk home. Her mind filled with liars and crushes and most prominently; a mysterious boy and his Maid Cafe.

#miraculous ladybug #Marinette #marinette dupain cheng #Ladybug #ml felix #adrien agreste #lila #chameleon divergance #marinette deserves better #Adrien is a pushover #He isn't a bad guy but he has no backbone #Maid Cafe Au #ml fanfic

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shadymultiverse · 4 years

Text

I remember laying on my bed in highschool, sophomore year. I was exhausted. I had reached the point where every person id managed to scrape out of the hell hole that is middle education had turned against me. Rumors, as they do, flooded my small community. Things like lesbianism and sluttery being the least of it and incest and beastiality the worst. Theu were also convinced I was either possessed or the spawn of hell, which remains to be a point of pride for me.

My delicait social circle had collapsed under the strain of one thing, teenage hormones. Not my own, but that of my brother and his girlfriend, the girl coming from my group of friends. Their relationship had been incredibly toxic, but as Im realizing, everyone who comes into contact with my brother experiences the same kind of manipulation and fear. Not that she was innocent, none of them were. Ive always known a bad person when i meet one, but I also have the fatal flaw that cruelty and misguided affection will always taste like home to me.

They were the school bullies, though I would have shot you if youd said it at the time. I suppose by extention I was probably a bully, though I dont remember being one. It just explains why there was not a soul to catch me when I fell. There nnever was, not once in my entire life has someone actually caught me when I needed it, so its not like K was suprised.

'Oh but you were' My mind so helpfully supplies. I always viewed myself as kind. Sweet. Loving, even.

Yet there I was laid across my bed, too tired to get up, too tired to cry. It was after an episode from my brother.

It stands to reason I should describe him, he was not a small man. No. He stood at 6'1 back then, a weight lifter through highschool, he was a physically imposing person. Being the malnurished, overweight, gaslighted and generally abused little girl that I was, I was never any match for him. I had one fought against him, and my sister- who was always thin as a fuse and leading to something dangerous- but it was always them that were rewarded and I who was punished. My mother, who I struggle to speak ill of even now, was an enabler. She refused to see the cruelty that my siblings put me through as anything other than normal, but any kind of defense that I levied for myself was something of an act against the pure, Goddly love that was my siblings.

Now Ive realized that it was just too much for her to bare, too much for her to understand. She is a very fragile woman for how strong she is. She knew that as long as I was taking their abuse, she wouldnt have to think about it. She didnt want me to get better.

That said at that point my sister was long gone. It was just me and my brother.

He was in the bedroom next to mine. A trailer, so any sound or move I made was hyperly monitored. I was too tired to do much more than breathe and even that was a fete. He must not have been satisfied by that because his door opened and then so did mine. He stared at me, I looked in his dirrection, at his eyes. He was still angry. This was the fifth or sixth day in a row that hed chased me ariund the house, screaming at me and cornering me. He hit me all the time, always in the same spot over and over so that it wouldnt look like Id been beaten, but I was being beaten.

I remember thinking how much I was struggling. In everything. My school work, my home life, my social life, everything.

He told me to make him something to eat. I told him no.

I almost always did. I hated the way that he spoke to me, hated that I was nothing more than a slave.

I didnt have the energy tk try to fight or get up or get out of the way but he jumped on top of me and wrapped his fingers around my throat.

I remember thinking 'I just wanna go. Let me go, please just let me go' I didnt realize it at the time but I was praying that he would kill me. I was so tired....

He would put his knees on top of your hands and sit in your chest, then squeeze your throat just hard enough to not actually bruise. Cut off the circulation but ot actually kill me. Its this strange in realm between pain and peace.

This time, however, he was squeezing so hard I thought my head might pop. His eyes told me he wanted me to die. Truly intended to finally end the charade that was my life. I wasnt scared. Just tired. Ready.

I was almost gone when something changed. I was there, floating up put of my body and his face felt slack, his eyes lost their psychotic glint and he let go. He got off of me and left the house. I can still feel the gasp that tore through my lungs. If yoive ever blown up a baloon and held it against your hand to feel the way it sticks to your skin then you know whay it feels like to breathe into empty lungs.

Its most painful part of being choked

Strangely enough, I started thinking about what I should do with my life. If he wouldnt do me the kindness of finishing the job, then I needed to plan how I was going to escape.

I was tired though, and the one thing i jad always wanted seemed absolutely impossible to attain. Brain Surgeon.

I could barely pull myself through a day in highschool, the idea of two decades of college was impossible to imagine. I decided I needed to do soemthing else. Something...easy. I had earned easy, hadnt I?

It was Tom Hiddleston that made me decided I should go into theater. Ironic, since it was earlier that same year that I had been in theater, had auditioned for a monolouge and a duet for our state competition, gotten it, only to have it ripped away because I wasnt good enough. Ive always had trouble commiting to things like afterschool practice. Though, maybe ita because out practices were just delaying the inevitable abuse Id be put through at home. I only ever wnated to sleep, to stay after shcool for three hours and practice was like eating broken glass before going home to drink rubbing alcohol.

But Theater was the way to go. I liked acting, I preferred make up and set design. That way, maybe Id get to meet Tom Hiddleston. Silly, looking back. What a way to decidee the fate of my life.

He seemed caring, you see. Like he wouldnt let anyone hurt me. Not even in a husbandry kind of way, just in the human way.

He would see whay was happening and say 'This isnt ok'. He didnt have to rescue me or anything. He would just understand.

By extention, the world would see me, delight in me, applaud me.

So I started focussing on this fantasy of becoming famous.

At every turn the rug was yanked out from under me. Every time i got a line or a song or something that I craved, it was taken away before it could ever be preformed.

Just like my home life, I kept being told that I did not matter. I didnt deserve to feel anything but disapointment and anguish.

Maybe thats why Ive run away from every job that Ive ever had.

#writing #child abuse #abandonment #choking #death is inevitable #death ideation #abuse #the deep dark abyss that is my soul

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weirdlizard26 · 5 years

Note

For the ask meme? All of them.

jay,,,

give me a sec to edit this post ok

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

wine glasses are like reading glasses except you wear them while drinking wine

i’d say water bottles but only the ones that can handle heat and stuff and not poison your drink with plastic or whatever

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

i havent had a lollipop in a good while so thats my choice

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

havent tried either but boy i’d love to try just a little bit of cotton candy at leastonce

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

bro,,,,,, that was like 10 years ago, how am i supposed to remember that,,,,,,,

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

i usually drink soda from plastic cups but honestly? nothing beats the experience of sipping that sweet sweet ambrosia from the bottle,,, but also i’d love to try soda in a can some day!

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

idk what half of these would look like but sportswear always wins in my book

7. earbuds or headphones?

ok i actually googled whats the difference and im more of an earbuds person! theyrejust safer i think and it makes me kinda anxious when im home listening tomusic and cant hear anything going on around me

8. movies or tv shows?

tv shows! well, unless the episodes are like 40 minutes or a full hour because its hard to focus for that long kfjsndkfs

9. favorite smell in the summer?

pavement after rain and also. grass.

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

haha thats a funny joke you made there *starts crying*

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

just a couple of meat+cheese+mayo sandwiches! if its summer mom cuts tomatoes or cucumbers for us and as they start getting more and more expensive we replace them with pickles!

12. name of your favorite playlist?

sorry i couldnt choose!

13. lanyard or key ring?

key ring!

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

aaaa i love fruit flavored ones!

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

aaaaaaaa i dont remember if it was elementary or middle school but we were assigned this really cool ukrainian book that ive actually read before they assigned it. well, nobody here will recognize it but it was Тореадори з Васюківки by Всеволод Нестайко and it was about 2 boys who were best friends growing up in the countryside and they went on adventures and had fun and their friendship made me so happy,,, i guess i was all for cool friendship portrayal even back then! it was mostly laughs and jokes but some moments were actually serious and hit me really hard and i remember them to this day actually

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

its a myth, sitting was created as a personal attack on me

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

my trusty old sneakers!! theyre all black and the sole is very soft and nice

18. ideal weather?

when the sun is out and its just warm enough to show off your new graphic tee and also very soft and nice

19. sleeping position?

i just lie on my left side like a fool

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

notebook!

21. obsession from childhood?

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES!!! AND DANNY PHANTOM!!!! i even made a ghost fighting costume once,,,, tho it wasnt much of a costume, it was just fingerless gloves i cut out of paper. they were extremely uncomfortable. but very effective in fighting ghosts!

22. role model?

kfjsdnfk i have a bunch! might sound weird but one of them is bdg i think??? and the other 2 are some online acquaintances whom im too afraid to interact with more often than i do

23. strange habits?

repeating silly lines i hear on tv / in anime/cartoons? and also i never touch food with my right hand unless its plums?? and there are more but. you know. bad memory.

24. favorite crystal?

all of them!!!!!

25. first song you remember hearing?

my grandma used to sing this to me over the phone

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wUPnqqPXQsw

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

go for a walk!

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

slep

28. five songs to describe you?

we are the people by empire of the sun

home by cavetown

strawberry blonde by mitski

smile like you mean it by the killers

afterlife by arcade fire

29. best way to bond with you?

wash your hands very thoroughly and make jokes

30. places that you find sacred?

i see nature i go crazy from how much respect i have for it

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass andtake names?

*wearing hinata cosplay* im here to play volleyball and kick your ass and as you can see ive already played today’s match

32. top five favorite vines?

road work ahead

a avocado!! thanks!!!!!

REBECCA THIS IS NOT WHAT YOU THINK

i fell can you help me :(

that vine where ukulele sounds like human voices and people sounds like ukuleles

33. most used phrase in your phone?

idk how to check that??? sowwy

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

the stomach meds ad they keep showing on tv

35. average time you fall asleep?

3am? 4am? idk for sure

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

t-trollface…

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

havent used either (cause ive never traveled anywhere too far away) but the latter looks pretty and i feel like it would fit more stuff

38. lemonade or tea?

depends on my mood!

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

dont kick me but im not sure if ive ever tried either ;w;

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

the school’s cat who hates most people actually kinda warmed up to me even tho im terrible with animals

41. last person you texted?

jay uwu

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

afabs cant have both huh

but i want both. please give me both.

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

all of these sound nice but my lazy ass will always go for hoodies

44. favorite scent for soap?

aaaaaaaa im allergic to a lot of soaps but i like flower scented ones

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

i love all of them dearly but lately ive been more into superheroes i think. im not sure really sure what exactly i feel

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

something really really long

47. favorite type of cheese?

there are different types????

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

i hope im a pear

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

become a good person. thats all.

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

i dont remember what it was but i remember i was with my friends and we couldnt stop laughing for several minutes and ive never felt happier

51. current stresses?

UNIVERSITY FUCK OFF!!!

52. favorite font?

i like comic sans

53. what is the current state of your hands?

they arent doing so hot tbh, my dermatitis is back again

54. what did you learn from your first job?

i dont have one!

55. favorite fairy tale?

gonna be honest chief, i dont remember too many of them ;w;

56. favorite tradition?

on new year’s we turn the lights off, light up a candle in the kitchen, laugh at president’s speech and only then starts eating

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

getting over a lost friendship, passing high school finals and uni entrance exams and coming out to my best friend

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

singing!! being able to learn how to do most things pretty quickly!!! and i cant think of anything else but honestly these two are quite enough for me

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

uh oh! guess what! i dont have a catchphrase and im very self-conscious about it!

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

im torn between sports anime and slice of life

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

because humans dont have wings we look for other ways to fly

from haikyuu

obviously

62. seven characters you relate to?

tsukishima kei from haikyuu

mae borowski from nitw

apollo justice from ace attorney

flame princess from adventure time

donatello from tmnt

sokka from atla

kageyama shigeo from mob psycho 100

63. five songs that would play in your club?

mr brightside, bohemian rhapsody, smile like you mean it by the killers and allof haikyuu ops and eds

64. favorite website from your childhood?

if social media counts, vkontakte i guess?? i didnt really go anywhere else and it still exists and i thriving so im not sure if it should count fkjsndkjf

65. any permanent scars?

yeah, the one from my very first vaccination from when i was a few months old i think and also some traces of when i had chickenpox

66. favorite flower(s)?

idk a lot of flower names but i really like tulips

67. good luck charms?

dont have any at the moment but i’d love to get one!

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

whatever fish mom used to buy when we were kids >:(

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

bro my memory isnt good enough to remember those,,

70. left or right handed?

im a righty but i had to become a lefty for like a month when i broke my pinkie

71. least favorite pattern?

i like traditional ukrainian ornaments

72. worst subject?

history :P

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

ice cream + fries

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

idk how pain levels work but i try not to take meds unless the pain is interfering with studying

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

idk but i had a box full of my teeth for so long they turned to dust and i had to throw it away

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

RHNGRHGNRHGRNH EVERYTHING except for freshly made mashed potatoes

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

if its green it can stay

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

have never had either of those and i hope i never will cause they sound gross!

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

i dont have a license, so.

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

kfjsndfks depends on the mood tbh!

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

fireflies!

82. pc or console?

i WISH i had a console but this is too broke for that,, i played a couple of times tho and it feels more fun than pc!

83. writing or drawing?

please dont make me choose, ive abandoned both and its making me feel bad

84. podcasts or talk radio?

podcasts :O

84. barbie or polly pocket?

idk what polly pocket is but barbie rules!!!

85. fairy tales or mythology?

i feel like sometimes fairy tales are kinda like watered down myths so i have a right to say i like both

86. cookies or cupcakes?

my heart goes to cookies

87. your greatest fear?

finding out im faking any part of my identity

88. your greatest wish?

get through whatever’s going on right now

89. who would you put before everyone else?

mom

90. luckiest mistake?

when i recorded an undertale medley and got a few notes wrong but it actually ended up sounding better than originally

91. boxes or bags?

boxes!

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

fairy lights……

93. nicknames?

never really had many? my bff calls me mr smith sometimes but thats all i can think of fkjsdnfs but also! steve used to be my nickname before i decided my life my own and i get to choose my name

94. favorite season?

spring ;w;

95. favorite app on your phone?

sudoku

96. desktop background?

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

my own and my mom’s

98. favorite historical era?

eh im not very fond of the past because not every time period had soap

#wl26 #wl26 answers #flamingerrs #jay just so you know i love you a whole lot #i really did that huh #long post

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