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perpetuelledaydreaming · 5 years ago

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Back to you (Chapter IV)

Summary: Y/N Stark and Peter Parker are unconditionally in love with each other, being friends for years was just the step before making it official. BUT, just the weekend they became official Thanos and the snap happened, leaving Y/N broken: without friends, avengers family or Peter Parker. So, she has to move on, at least that’s what everyone’s telling her and she really tries to do it and who better to help her than Harry Osborn. But, has she really let Peter go? What if Tony Stark -genius, billionaire, playboy, and philanthropist- knows how to bring Peter back? And what happens when he does? Is Y/N going to avenge again? Who’s going to lead the avengers now? Who is she going to choose? Harry or Peter? and who the hell is mysterio? *He doesn’t even go here*

word count: 8.2k

author’s note: Okay honestly this chapter was so hard to write because I was re-telling endgame from Y/N perspective and obviously, after a long of thought, I wanted to somehow stick to the cannon story although I hate it BUT I think is easier for the story I want to tell PLUS you don’t know what’s coming. I’m so sorry this is soooo late but honestly next chapter is going to have more Peter and Harry and ANGST and HARLEY. I’m sorry I made Y/N cry so much but it was necessary. I’m so happy i got this chapter out of the way so I can let my imagination go wild for the next chapters. Please let me have your feedback, I love to know what you want to heart and yes. Love, -J.

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You felt your feet hitting the ground and you bend your knees a bit as you landed on a street full of rubble in New York, well it wasn’t technically your New York, it was 2012 New York. The red and white suit quickly dissipated from your body and left you on the sweats that your dad had created for both of you to be more comfortable whenever you wore your suits, you had to adjust to your size since you hadn’t worn yours for over two years now.

It was extremely strange to wear it again, to wear your necklace with the charm that had your suit but then again, this whole time-traveling thing was outlandish, to say the least. As you were getting used to the commotion surrounding you and New York, Steve began talking.

“Alright, we all have our assignments” Steve commanded, he turned around to face the four of you: Tony, Bruce, Scott, and you. “Two stones uptown and one stone down. Stay low, keep an eye on the clock”

You were about to nod in affirmation but before you could even press the small charm, you saw Hulk, not Bruce, smashing one of the Chitauri soldiers with a car multiple times before another one backed off before Hulk send a wheel towards it and then proceeding to jump over the car with a growl that shook you to the core.

You remember Hulk during this time, how out of touch he was from everything and how when you first saw him come out while training, it scared you. You had only told Nat about this, not even your father or Bruce for that matter because you didn’t want to hurt his feelings. Once you grew comfortable with Hulk as time passed, you felt kind of dumb for feeling that way but seeing him at that exact second, assured you that you didn’t need to feel that dumb.

All of you looked back at Bruce who was hiding his face.

“Maybe smash a few things on the way,” Steve told Bruce, who sighed and began ripping his shirt off before “smashing” if you could even say that it was somehow close to what 2012 Hulk was doing.

You felt someone touching your shoulder, you turned around to see your dad.

The conversation between both of you regarding the time travel had lasted more than you had expected, but one of you being part of the team recovering the stones was longer than any other thing. First, you wanted him to explain to you from beginning to end how could this possibly work out without horribly messing up with the timelines or being trap forever in the quantum realm. In all honesty, you were afraid of the possibility of being solid enough to put a plan in motion, it scared you a bit because hope had run out of you the moment you saw those chocolate brown eyes turning to dust. But as soon as you got it, you knew you had to be part of the team but that was another whole thing with Tony, to put it simply: he didn’t want you to join. See, Tony had seen you not being an avenger and you were happy and living the life that Tony once wished you had before you convinced him to be part of the team; but honestly, he couldn’t expect anything different from your constant affirmations that you were going whether he liked it or not. In the end, it was obvious who had won the argument.

But at the end of the day, neither of you brought Peter up during the time of training, neither of you wanted to do it although you knew he was the reason for it because it still hurt. Your lingering looks could tell it all and you could feel the weight in both your chest.

You wanted it to work.

He sighed, “Okay, you know your plan, be safe. I know you are an adult now bu-“

“Barely”, you interrupted him while you placed an assuring hand on his arm.

“Sure, but you are growing and just…”

“I know dad, I love you too”, you muttered before you pulled him in and he embraced you in his arms.

Tony didn’t have much to say because it was hard to be there again. It had been over two years since he had seen you with your suit since he had seen you fighting. It wasn’t the same, it was never going to be the same and after you left it, he thought it was for the best but at the moment as you had shown him: he needed you, they all needed you, Peter needed you.

But sill he hated taking you out of the life he had wanted for you at some point when you were younger; you had been MIA from Harry a couple of weeks, except for a few phone calls and Tony knew that this was having a toll on you and he didn’t even want to imagine what would happen if this work.

You let go of Tony with a smile as Bruce called you.

“y/n, let’s go”

You nodded. …

You had never tried drugs and you weren’t interested to do so, but you were sure as hell this was even more strong than what you could ever experience with them as you saw your body falling in the ground while you… your… your soul was levitating above it. You wanted to say that panic had rushed through your bloodstream but you were so shocked that it didn’t even pass your mind that you were scared, your brain was too busy trying to explain how you were seeing your body.

The Ancient One was peacefully looking at you, she seemed to have a Monalisa smile but in between her calmness, there was a striking force within her. Her stand was strong and ready to fight if needed too.

“What is….”, you managed to mutter before you felt, felt that Bruce was behind you. His body, Hulk was on the floor next to yours. Both of them seemed to be sleeping.

“Let’s start over”, The Ancient One said calmly as you or Bruce felt unable to close your mouth. “Shall we?”

In between the feeling of lightness in this new form you found yourself, in the whole mess going inside your head about going back in time to save the world or at least try to do it, the even messier state that your heart was in because you had lost all hope of seeing Peter again but now having the chance to actually bring him back made your heart beat faster than it had for the last years but without discounting how you had grown to love Harry…

You didn’t know how your tongue didn’t manage to get twisted while you word vomits the most vulnerable thing you had said ever since you talked with your father after the snap.

“We are from the future, we are here to save you, to save everyone, to save the earth from this horrible future and I’m begging you, I need to get that stone, we need that stone, please help us, I need to get Peter back”

“Who do we need back?” The Ancient One said quietly as you opened your eyes with regret.

Nat had always taught you not to let people see your weaknesses, you knew you couldn’t show your physical or emotional weakness in front of any enemy and at the moment The Ancient One had managed to immobilize both you and Bruce, so it wasn’t like she was an ally but right now you couldn’t help yourself.

Maybe your best chance at the moment with The Ancient One was to be as honest as you could.

“Please, we are here because everyone lost someone, a lot of people lost their lives”, you said as your new form or soul managed to finally settle in the ground again. “We are here to save everyone”

Bruce followed your pace as you got closer to The Ancient One, who was looking sternly at you.

But she turned around and walk off, you closed your eyes trying to manage your exasperation and Bruce panicked, following The Ancient One.

“Please, please”, Bruce begged as he stayed a few moments watching his body.

“I’m sorry, I can’t help you with this”, she repeated herself as Bruce chased her through the roof and you watched her with a hunted expression. “If I give up the time stone to help your reality, I’m dooming my own”

“With all due respect, I’m not sure the science really supports that”, Bruce contradicted her.

She stopped for a moment as she watched Bruce intensely and her hand performed a simple swift; from nowhere, a long line of golden light appeared between the two of them. A gasp escaped your lips as you followed the line carefully while trying to get closer to them.

“The infinity stones create what you experience as the flow of time, remove one of the stones and this flow splits” The Ancient One explained, she removed the light that appeared as the time stone and a new, dark, line appeared from the action. “Now this may benefit your reality, but my new one not so much. In this new branch reality, without our chief weapon against the forces of darkness, our world would be overrun. So, tell me, doctor, your science can prevent all that?”

Bruce stayed silent for a second.

“No, but we can erase it because once we are done with the stones, we can return each one to its own timeline at the moment it was taken. So, chronologically, in that reality it never left” Bruce explained as he took the stone from thin air and placed it back into the golden line, making the darker one disappeared.

The Ancient One remained quiet for a moment before her eyes linked with Bruce’s

“Yes, but you are leaving out the most important part; To return the stones, you have to survive”, she explained and it hit you in the gut her words.

To be completely honest, you didn’t know how quickly you got behind Bruce but the need of getting that stone was overpowering any common sense you had. All you could think about was how you could help the whole world and her, a hero in your eyes, wouldn’t budge.

“We will, I will. I promise”, Bruce affirm and his voice woke you from your trance, he was pleading and it wasn’t new to see Bruce in this light but promising to win this?

Yes, you hoped that all the hours you had actually put into it along with your father and all the team that had survived. All of you were ready to avenge the ones that were lost, you had faith that they wanted to. But after the events of two years ago, they had changed your perspective, it had made it a bit smaller and darker and although you had returned to a good place, you weren’t sure anymore about winning. But then again, you would do anything for Peter Parker and The Ancient One was getting under your skin by denying you the chance.

“I can’t risk this reality on a promise, it’s the duty of The Sorcerer Supreme to protect the time stone”, The Ancient One muttered and gave you her back.

Are you kidding me? you thought to yourself. Maybe it was that it was the start of summer and you felt a little too hot, maybe it was because you had gone back in time eight years, maybe it was simply your outfit but your head began spinning around. Then it all came back to you and hit you like a train: Peter and you on your first mission, Peter and you sleeping, Tony and Peter on the lab, The Avengers movie night, Peter and you training, Peter and you kissing, Peter turning into dust.

“Then, why the hell did Strange give it away?”, you shouted as your eyes screwed shut to stop the memories, to stop your brain from overworking.

The Ancient One turned around, she blinked a moment with a deadpan expression on her face and you saw as if hope had left her eyes as she watched you and Bruce. It was like someone had punched her in the gut as she analyzed your words.

“Willingly?”

“Yes. I saw it with my own eyes”, you answered back, annoyance lingered in your voice, “He gave it to Thanos”.

But the Ancient One wasn’t looking at you, it was as if she was trying to find something as her eyes moved frenetically, her mind processing your words. You watched her carefully and it was as she was as shocked as you were the moment that Strange had decided to give it away, the same perplexity that you felt when he had stopped you from moving.

“Why?”, she asked and you felt something in her voice.

Right then and there you realize that she was afraid too.

“I have no idea, maybe he made a mistake”, you replied honestly because you were sure that if Stranger hadn’t given it away maybe things could’ve been different but it was at the end of the day without you or Tony in the world.

The Ancient One remained quiet as you and Bruce burned her with your gazes.

“Or I did”, she muttered.

Suddenly, she brought both of your bodies and made them crash with your souls, you felt as if all the air on your body had left your lungs as you breathe deeply trying to fill them in, your whole body was buzzing but it seemed like it had affected you more than it had affected Bruce. Soon, The Ancient One opened the necklace -The Eye of Agamotto-, the same one that Strange had been using that fatal day two years ago, the time stoned glowed and you could swear you could hear a metal sound coming from it while she made it levitate.

She placed in your hand the stone.

You held your breath as you watched the stone carefully in your hands that had quickly been covered by your suit to hold it. The energy on the stone was really strong and you felt anxious, but your thoughts went away as soon as The Ancient One place her hands over yours.

“Thank you”, your voice was shaky and you felt like your hands were trembling a bit.

Bruce and you, you completed your mission: you had it.

“I’m counting on you Y/N, we all are”

…

You landed on the platform of the -it was still weird to say it- a time machine that Tony had created. The movement through the quantum realm was a little bit vertiginous while you saw these colors and lights and shapes that your mind couldn’t even begin to construct, it left you lightheaded for a few seconds. As soon as your feet touch the ground, you focused on the metallic twirls that surrounded you, accompanied by the sound of the power going out as you breathe deeply. It was your first time traveling through time and although you had been prepared for a lot of things in your time as an avenger, you didn’t think you could get used to this one.

After a few seconds, the mask of the quantum suits disappeared from your face and as you opened your eyes you linked them with Tony’s. His expression turned blissful as he smiled at you and you felt yours growing, it was as if you could breathe again knowing that he was okay. It was as if the tension had left your body as you ran towards him and he caught you as you wrapped your arms around his waist and he reciprocated with a sigh, holding you strongly as you heard him mutter something about god.

“Are you telling me this actually work?”, you heard Rhodey asking with happiness lingered in his voice.

Maybe it was because of the quantum realm or because you were feeling a little light-headed but you felt your heart beating extremely fast in your body as if something was waking up and as you closed your eyes for a second you could see those chocolate brown eyes that gleamed each time he looked at you and, a little bit in the back you thought about Harry’s smile but there was no denying it was being eclipsed by the thought of Peter Parker.

But then you heard a thud against the metal and you quickly let go of your dad as you turned around to find Clint kneeled with a somber expression drawn on his face.

“Uncle Clint?”

Sometimes your mind could go a thousand miles per hour, but at the moment you wished it didn’t because after two seconds of examining Clint, of seeing the doleful way his lips fell into a line, of seeing how his body lumbered in almost a painful way -like he couldn’t hold himself anymore-, of seeing how dull his eyes were -even more after losing his family- and how vacant they looked; you knew what had happened but you didn’t want to acknowledge it.

You could’ve sworn that you heard your heart-shattering in your chest as you shook your head and placed a hand over your hand to prevent a sob to come out of your mouth.

“Clint, where’s Nat?”, Bruce asked as if he was hoping for a different answer.

But as the seconds passed and Clint remained silenced, you thought that everyone knew what happened. Tears began spilling without previous notice, Steve looked down in defeat and Bruce fell into the floor. In all honesty, you wanted to contain your tears and your sobs but it was too hard.

Bruce formed a fist with his hand and at the same time that he struck the platform your tears began falling.

…

Natasha Romanoff was one of the best women you knew, to be honest, she was a close second to Pepper Potts and Pepper only won for a bit because she had helped raise you but Natasha, she was another story. This woman that had entered your life so young, and she had changed your view of what you had expected your life to be. Before her, you didn’t really know if you could ever be like your father as Ironman, you didn’t even know if it was your place but when she came along, she assured you with her example that you could. Natasha Romanoff was an example of survival, not vengeance, she was an example of how you could change your story if you tried hard enough, because she made the hard calls when they needed to be done, because she turned her weakness into strength. She taught you how to be an avenger and although you gave your dad most of the credit of the desire to be one, it was when Nat arrived that you thought it was possible for you too. She was a mother, she was a sister, she was a mentor, she was an example of the women you wanted to become and losing her, it was as if another part of your heart had been taken away without previous notice.

“Do we know if she had a family?”, Tony muttered as your eyes blinked trying to get back into reality.

The sound of the water was the only one you could hear and although it was peaceful, the heaviness in the air felt like it could drown you. After Clint had explained what happened to Nat, you had clung to Tony as if you were five again and needed to hold his hand after a bad dream. Nat’s smile and last words appeared in your head more than you wished they had and the more you thought about it your throat felt like it would close.

“Yes”, Steve answered back and you turned around to face him, “Us”.

And it all came back like a train for you. One of the last conversations with Nat and how she had mentioned that this was it, you were her family and she was yours. The reason for her sacrifice became so obvious the moment you heard Steve’s words that it somehow angered you that you hadn’t realized it before. Her sense of self was found on being an avenger, she was one of the faces of the avengers, she was a founder and a leader and even after half of them were gone she was still trying to be better for all of you. She needed this; she was lost before the possibility of actually making things right. When Nat sacrificed herself, it was because she believed in you, in all of you, she believed.

She had realized that she had clean her ledger, she knew she had become better as you had assured her that night and that’s why he had done it.

“Yes, it was us dad”, you said as you finally stood up, letting Tony go and everyone, except for Bruce, turned around to face you.

Maybe it wasn’t your place, you maybe didn’t know Natasha at the extend of Clint, Steve or Bruce, or even your dad but you knew what she had mean to you and at the moment, you knew you had to speak your mind, to reinforce that she had done this for you.

“Y/N…”, Thor muttered softly as if he was scared that you might break.

He had been out of it for the last month while you built the machine but now it was as if the fog in his brain had dissipated and he was seeing you again, maybe it was because of the actual time travel that he was more awake and finally realized you had grown quite a bit since the last time he saw you but that he still desired to be somehow careful with you like when you were younger.

“She sacrificed herself for us, for everyone, for this family”, you explained as you watched them all intently, they needed to understand. “We have to honor that”

…

The sound of the thud of metal against the ground was the thing that woke you up, making you take a breath as if you hadn’t breathed for months. It felt as if a tsunami had come crashing down on you, on your body, everything was somehow hurting, not a lot but just enough for you to take a minute or two before opening your eyes. All these things were running through your head as your eyes tried to examine the debris that you were surrounded by, it was almost too much for your senses that were still dulled by the impact of… in that second you were reminded of where you were and what had happened, how you had been thrown out from Tony’s lab in the compound to a whole other floor, and how you fell as if the earth had eaten you whole because of the missiles. The last thing you remember was Scott, saying something that you couldn’t make up and after that everything just turned dark when you were thrown. The drops of blood that fell on your silver suit made you realized that maybe the mask hadn’t come on your face as fast as it should, it must have been a cut and you didn’t want to think on any other possible injury that you had sustained because on your mind you could only think about everyone the gauntlet.

“Toes, feet, legs”, you repeated to yourself as you moved each one of them to check if they were actually okay and although it hurt a bit, you stood up.

It was dark, everything was dark and the only thing barely lightening the debris that surrounded you were the sparks of the electricity cables that had been destroyed in the process. It was hard to breathe with all the dust that surrounded you and you felt claustrophobic being under the debris. Suddenly, you could make out from the dust the red and yellow that was so familiar to you, the thud of the metal getting stronger and you felt like if a wave of relief washed over your body when you saw Steve and Tony.

“That’s my girl”, Tony muttered as you walked towards him, as he held your hand and with the other, he promptly took a strand out of your face.

“Thank god”, Steve let out.

“Wha-what happened?”, you replied as you cough a bit while staring at Steve, maybe your eyes were a bit frantic because Steve placed a hand over your shoulder as fast as he could in a reassuring way.

Both of them remained silent for a moment but as you gaze back at your dad, he didn’t have another option to answer.

“We messed with time”, Tony stated firmly and you weren’t sure what he meant but a part of you honestly didn’t want to know just yet. “Come on”

Silently you followed him and Steve, you knew better than to doubt what they decided because they were the leaders, they had always known what to do but for some inexplicable reason, your most basic instinct inside of you screamed for you to grab them and walk the other way. You tried to quiet it down by focusing on your surroundings, recognizing what this new territory looked like, so your eyes were trained in the smoldering fires that surrounded you, the sounds of ominous thunder, the sparks jumping from unexpecting places and the rubble under your feet. Soon, you looked at the grey sky, finally out of the wreckage and you felt the daunting breeze on your hair, you turned around to see Thor, his eyes fixed in something in front of all of you.

Tony and Steve took their places next to him while you walked towards Tony but as he recognized the thud of your metal steps walking to be next to him, he signaled you to stop.

And so, you did but your gaze following his and you felt like vomiting.

The Mad Titan was there, Thanos was sitting down in front of you, with his large sword buried deep in the ground next to him while he seemed like he was waiting.

It hadn’t passed your mind that somehow you could see him again, not anywhere except your nightmares. As a result, the feelings that had persisted after Nat assured you that Thor had decapitated him were based on fear and grieve, because most of those nightmares were based on you trying to hold Peter together as you begged The Mad Titan not to take him.

Therefore, your brain had calculated that you might be frightened or feeling the kind of rage that consumed your body but as he stood before you, you felt the same fire that you had felt during your battle in Titan because it wasn’t about him, it was about doing your part, doing your work. It wasn’t the fire of revenge that flooded your veins or the panic that would throw you to the floor but somehow the peaceful knowledge along with a decent amount of fear and anger, it was time to stop him.

“Y/N, go find Clint, he was close to the gauntlet”, Tony ordered you but you didn’t budge.

In all honesty, you didn’t hear him, it was as if your brain was too busy trying to figure out how you could -as disgusting as it sounded-end him. All the techniques in training came back to you as you thought of ways that could be used to finally get rid of him, you tried to replay as best as you could your fight in Titan, trying to remember what his weaknesses were and how you could stop him.

“Y/N…”, Steve insisted but yet again you didn’t move.

Tony turned around, glowering at you while your eyes were still fixed on Thanos.

“Y/N, it’s an order go and find Clint”, Tony demanded and your eyes quickly connected with his.

But this was your battle too.

“I’m not going anywhere”, you snapped as the three of them looked at you again.

Steve and Tony looked at each other, both had a hunted look while Thor seemed stolid while his eyes were trained in you but he quickly turned around. It was as if Thor had accepted and understood that you were not moving, it didn’t have senses to put you in the back burner again, you had made your choice but it was so difficult for Tony and Steve, although you had your fair share of missions and training, it was different and the fright in your dad’s eyes was obvious as if he had been transported to the time where you stood up against Thanos in front of him, ready to die for him if it was needed. But as each second passed, they knew you were determined to stay there.

“You know it’s a trap, right?”, Thor asked gravely as Tony and Steve moved their gaze towards the Mad Titan.

“Yeah”, Tony said with a sighed as he looked at Thor. “I don’t much care, as long as you stay out of it”, Tony said to you with a glare but you glared right back at him.

Your breath hitched as the wind picked up, whipping your hair as your eyes moved up, the sky becoming light blue as Thor extended his hands and his eyes turned the same color.

“Good”, he muttered, “As long as we are all in agreement”

Steve suddenly turned around, his eyes narrowed and his stand fixed. He was going to give and order, you knew how his body language worked so you looked right back at him.

“Y/N, stay back and only intervene if there’s not another choice” Steve ordered and you simply nodded, while Tony sighed in discontent but there was nothing more to do. “Promise us”

“I promise”

Suddenly, lightning could be heard loudly and the sky moved at an incredible pace, lightning and sparks began surrounding Thor as a lightening quickly struck him and both, Stormbreaker and Mjolnir, came to him. The wind hard while your fist became tighter.

“Let’s kill him properly this time”, Thor added.

The waiting lasted a hundred years, at least for you. It was as everything was moving in slow motion, every step that Tony, Steve, and Thor gave was so slow that you could barely let a breath out as each one of them surrounded Thanos while he talked.

H.A.P.P.Y asked you if you wanted to hear, but in all honesty, your mind was too busy trying to prepare mentally what was your next move, when were you coming in. The more you thought about your last encounter, the more you realized how much you had changed in a couple of years because you knew if you were thinking like two years ago you wouldn’t even blink at the chance to shoot your repulsors against Thanos, you wouldn’t even blink but now you waited until the right time. But was there honestly ever the right time to fight for the people you loved? No, there wasn’t but you couldn’t be reckless, not now when the whole universe depended on you when the possibility of Peter coming back hanged by a threat when Nat had given up her life for this.

And so, you waited as long as they needed to finally talk but as soon as Thanos stood up and placed his helmet on his head, you felt like your body was going to give up by how tensed it got, the sky began swirling again with Thor’s lightning and there wasn’t much thinking to do after that after his warrior cry.

It was fast, how you blasted towards them while Tony and Steve were already on it once you arrived, each one taking turns on fighting Thanos while he deflected each and every one of the attacks towards him. Quickly, six’s small rockets exited your back and flew towards The Mad Titan but as they went off near him, there was no actual effect because as the smoke dissipated, he was still there with a few scratches on his purple rough skin. He looked right back at you and smirked, he didn’t know who you were and you were sure of it but somehow it seemed as if he was going to enjoy killing you.

Before he was ready to give any steps towards you, Steve threw his shield towards the Mad Titan, stopping him mid-walk while you flew backward, unbalancing him and just enough for him to get his shield back and giving you the time to use your super-jet boot configuration to punch Thanos in the stomach and making him fall on his back for a second while he tried to block Tony’s repulsors with his sword.

It was chaotic but somehow there was an order and a rhythm as each one of you took turns to give your best shot, but as the minutes passed you start seeing how he was blocking and throwing punches that were hitting you. Thor kicked in the stomach against the debris that was next to you, Steve covering himself with the shield but flying away as Thanos strike it with his sword, your dad shot his repulsors as best as he could so he could finally hit him and you tried to do the same while engaging into hand to hand combat when you got too close. It was a dangerous option and it seemed like only Steve was actually doing it but you had learned from Nat to be as sleek as you possibly could.

But in all honesty, you knew you were struggling.

Two kicks in his jaw. Fly away. Thor’s throwing Stormbreaker, help him get more energy, blast repulsors, you though every and each one of the movements.

Until he caught you.

“Fuck!”, you shouted as you felt the strength of his grip on you.

“Got you”, Thanos growled with a dark sneer.

It brought you right at the exact moment in Titan where he had done the same, your right leg was stuck in his hands as he smirked, he suddenly tore the nanobots from your leg and you screamed because as he moved it was more than probable that you had sprained your ankle. You quickly saw how his hand wanted to grab you again but you gained some time while the suit recovered and re-formed your right leg and Steve stopped him as he kicked him on his face simultaneously with a twirl that you knew only he could perform as easily and you felt like you could breathe.

“H.A.P.P.Y, I need some juice on the left leg”, you yelled to your AI.

“As you say, Mrs. Stark”

Quickly, it became a cannon that drove you away, fast, from Thanos as you tried to keep it together while Thor sent Mjolnir towards Steve’s shield, sending a shock wave towards Thanos. Making him fall forwards, giving your dad the chance to pushed him down even more with his repulsors, but still being propelled by Thanos. He was powerful, he was too powerful and it dawned on your mind how on earth were you going to defeat him. He still threw Thor down for a second time and Steve was throwing punches but getting them right back.

“Y/N, you okay kid?”, Tony asked through the com and you could see him flying above Thanos, blasting his repulsors but far enough for him to take the time to ask you.

“’M fine dad”, you winced, feeling a sharp ache on your right ankle but at the moment you couldn’t care less, you needed him down for more time to get him. “Get him”

Tony simply nodded as he blasted towards the ground in front of Thanos and his back opened with solar modules and raised his hands towards Thanos.

“Hit me, Thor and Y/N”, Tony yelled and you followed suit.

The beams of light were more potent than ever as the energy traveled, all the angled energy pushing Thanos as best as it could but as soon as the beams were trying to hit him, he swerved them with his sword. Tony didn’t move as you pushed your suit for more and more energy while Thor was still redirecting the lightening’s was still striking the modules but as Thanos started walking towards your dad, your body shaking as your eyes glazed from your dad to Thanos.

He was getting close, dangerously close.

It was in a blink of an eye, how you went right up to Tony and pushed him away before Thanos could actually snatch him and he instead grabbed you by the neck. The tight grip wasn’t letting you breathe and you could see how H.A.P.P.Y was putting all the screen in red as you felt the nanobots getting dangerously tight around your neck. You tried to fight with your hands to get his paws off you but it was barely impossible to move, you began coughing as the pressure on your neck increased.

“Not our kid”, your father yelled, with was left from you not to pass out you gazed back at Tony that had Steve and Thor behind him.

It was the last thing you heard before Thanos threw you to the ground with all the force that he had. Everything then turned black, your body went limp and your last thoughts were Peter, Morgan, Tony, Pepper, and Harry.

…

It was barely a whisper; it was feeble and weak but it made your eyes fluttered open and you saw Tony with a smirk. He had been crying, you could see the tears waddling on his eyes as his mask quickly dissipated from his head but the smirk was so Tony that it made you smile too as your helmet dissolute as well. You were tired, so tired. Maybe it was how much you had cried or the actual fighting you did, but you felt your body -especially your ankle- screaming.

His hands were shaky and you could see he had gone through it, the cut on his eyebrow was still streaming a bit of blood and you could see a dark eye starting to form, “Thank god”, he let out with a breathe as he helped you stood up.

Maybe they had won, they had done it, with an inexplicable reason they had managed to defeat the Mad Titan with a swift set of punches after you blacked out but as you turned around and faced the enormous spaceship, your stomach drop as you saw the army of outrides, growling at you. It was way worse than you had imagined, than what it could cross your mind as Thanos glared at Steve.

Steve.

He was alone, facing him, facing the entire army. It didn’t catch you by surprise, you knew your uncle, you knew that if you could hear his thoughts it would’ve been, I can do this all day, even with such overwhelming odds, he got to his feet.

But now as you faced hundreds or thousands of outrides, it actually crossed your mind that you wouldn’t be able to do anything about it. Try and lost again, and now the consequences were death for everyone.

Tony held you back as he stood in front of you as if he wanted to protect you but you shook your head as you walked beside him. Ready to face the threat but as the seconds passed, you heard something on your com, a muffled voice.

“On your left”

Suddenly, a portal like the ones that you had seen Doctor Strange perform on Titan appeared on Steve’s left. It was a radiant golden light and it could blind you if you stare at it for too long, you hold your breath as Sam soared over the field. You followed him with your eyes and as he turned you could see more portals were forming.

“What’s happening?”

It was T’Challa, Shuri, M’Baku, Bucky, all the army from Wakanda walking through it, standing next to you in this fight and you wanted to cry as you hold Tony’s hand with hope.

Then Pepper on her rescue armor landed in front of you with a set look on her eyes as she smiled to Tony and he walked towards her and pressed his forehead against his.

Maybe it hadn’t registered what was happened, if it was you could’ve been prepare for it but you were too busy gazing at the sky that when another large portal opened behind you, you felt a bit blinded for a second. From it, Doctor Strange was levitating with Peter Quill, Drax and Mantis before him walking towards the battlefield, standing in front of Thanos army ready to fight and you were sure that you looked slack-jaw because it was never how you dream about seeing them again, at least for the last month.

But then you heard the familiar thiwp! that you hadn’t heard in two years and you felt your heart on your mouth.

With a swirl, he landed on the rubble and his mask went off from his face.

It was as if you were seeing him for the first time, it was overwhelming how many emotions were going through your mind that you could hardly process them. Maybe it was the light of the portals but his curls look like gold caramel the more you looked at them as they fell on his forehead, that coy smile that he always carried so gracefully was there, that smile lighted up your face every day was there and those damn chocolate eyes with gold specks that you had dreamed about seeing for two years were finally there in front of you. You were too in awe to realize how he was getting maybe too close while he ran towards you. He jumped through the crowd of heroes that were appearing left and right but you only had eyes for the boy.

He quickly lopped his arm and pulled you in without previous notice.

The way his lips rolled against yours, capturing your upper lip to then open your mouth made you want to melt into him right at the moment. It was such a fervent kiss but not lust-filled and you couldn’t help but to whimper as you placed your hands on his shoulders. You knew you had the suit but at the moment it was as if you were burning by the tenderness of his touch and then his hand slid up to your face, cupping your cheeks.

It was soft and timeless and slow.

But as the seconds passed, your mind began screaming because you knew it was not the time and that damn smirk that Harry gave you appeared, making you pull back.

“Hey”, he muttered and you smiled, those chocolate eyes with golden specks were piercing you, the way no one had looked at you.

“Hey”, you replied as you felt the blush creeping up your cheeks turning around to see almost everyone looking at you but especially Pepper tilting her head and Tony frowning at the scene.

You had a boyfriend and you were kissing Peter Parker.

Sam was giving you a blinking look as he landed next to you and you grimaced because of the embarrassment, “I don’t if you’ve been on a fight before, but there’s usually not this much kissing”, he declared while your mask covered your face to stop anyone to see that blush and just in time before Steve spoke.

“Avengers…”, he shouted as everyone waiting for his sign and you felt Peter next to you like in old times and the feeling of comfort washed over you, “…assemble”

…

Maybe if your suit had more capacity if you had waited longer to fight you might have been able to help, maybe if you weren’t so tired for the crying or stressed of the time travel or the fighting you would’ve been so awake, maybe if you hadn’t been too busy carrying the gauntlet and, in consequence, being blown by the lasers that were fired by Thanos ship before Carol arrived, maybe if you hadn’t tried to help Hope and Scott get the mini-time machine for Carol to enter and then subsequently, being blown by Thanos, just maybe you could avoid Tony taking the gauntlet, effectively sacrificing himself for the universe.

All the maybes and what-ifs were eating you alive as you saw Tony, fall back against an upturned root of a tree, armor smoking and arm withered and blackened as half of his face were. It felt like your whole body gave up as you fall to your knees in front of him because you knew it, you knew it right away as your eyes connected and the tears began streaming down your eyes, your father was dying and there was nothing you could do.

“Dad?”, you asked, finally stepping forward and taking his hand. It didn’t even register that that was your voice, watery and unsteady as you shakily reached towards his arch reactor and you knew it was too late. “I love you”

He smiled but there was no real answer, his eyes were glazy and he exhaled, almost as he let go.

A hand rested on your shoulder and you turned around to see Rhodey but with one look, Rhodey shook his head knowing that it was too late and you whimpered, your body spasming as you cried with too many emotions for your body to be held, they were too big and it felt the same way when you saw Peter turning to dust but as you watched your dad and held him, it felt so final and it was crushing.

It was your worst nightmare since you remember since he became Ironman you always feared the day that Tony might not make it and it came to life.

Then Peter landed next to you, his eyes glazy and full with the injuries as a result of the fight, he was swallowing hard as he stared at the scene, tears began falling from his eyes because he was seeing his mentor, another father figure laying limply and emotionless in front of him.

“Mr. Stark… Tony…it’s okay, it’s okay”, he whimpered and it was so raw and torn as he kneeled next to you. “…Mr. Stark, we won. You did it, sir…”

Tony gazed at him for a second and then past him, Rhodey quickly placed a hand on Peter’s shoulder, guiding him away as Pepper arrived.

Pepper gave you a quick look, her eyes watery but tears yet to fall. It was more than a look because you knew how this was Pepper’s nightmare as well and you shook your head as you felt like your lungs were going to explode because of how you couldn’t stop crying.

Pepper kneeled, heartsick as she sighed, trying so hard to keep it together, “Hey”, she whispered softly as she placed her hand on the arch reactor, next to yours.

Tony’s gaze quickly linked with hers and you backed up a bit so she could say goodbye to him. But as best as you tried, you couldn’t stand up as you kneeled next to them, it was crushing you the guilt and the grieve. It was as if you were broken, not numb, but completely broken as you watched Tony’s eyes glassy as if life was leaving him and at the end of the day it was.

“Pepper”, Tony whispered with a smile and he placed his working hand over hers.

Pepper swallowed hard as she gazed at the arch reactor. “Friday?”

“Life functions critical”

And it was a punch in the gut as you heard it as your hands quickly came to your head as if to protect you, you wanted to scream, you wanted to fly away, you wanted to go back in time but there was no way to avoid this and you knew it. You were going to lose your father, heart-clenching on your chest as you saw it before a sob could escape your lips you felt Peter’s hand wrapping you and, at the moment, it was all you needed as you buried your face on his neck and clung to him like you never had before.

Pepper stared into Tony’s eyes and she knew. Tears threatening to fall from Tony’s eyes as he looked at her, almost as if saying sorry.

“Tony, look a me”, Pepper said seriously, “We’re going to be okay”, tears welling on your father’s eyes as his face fell to the side. “You can rest now”, Pepper muttered as she touched his face.

She smiled before his eyes went past her and you could see how she was holding her sobs in as you finally turned around and watched him.

The light in the arch reactor went out and his hand fell from hers.

There was only silence as the heroes gather around you, the full weight of what was happening dawning on them.

She leaned in to kiss him and as she pulled back the tears and sobs came crashing down as she buried herself on his neck.

And you let out a cry, it was so loud that you felt like it ripped your chest.

Tony Stark was gone.

_______________________________________________________________________

TAG LIST: @erindanus @spideylovin @zlamaneserca @bethanystan @cedricisnotonfire

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mistikfir · 6 years ago

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Hugh Dancy Surrenders to Sex and Taboos on Broadway and Big Screens

Backstage (May 2012)

The ashtray turned projectile is what officially made it Hugh Dancy's worst audition. While meeting with a film producer who claimed that Americans make better action movie stars, Dancy recalls the producer saying, "You know, I really should be testing for physical attributes, like coordination. I should just do something like this!" before hurling the ashtray at the Brit. For the record, Dancy caught it.

Still, even an audition that results in the actor being covered in ash is no match for the audition process Dancy enacts eight times a week on Broadway in "Venus in Fur." In David Ives' Tony Award-nominated two-hander, which moved to Broadway last fall after a 2010 premiere Off-Broadway at Classic Stage Company, Dancy plays playwright-director Thomas, who is desperate to find the female lead for his stage adaptation of Leopold von Sacher-Masoch's erotic 19th-century novella "Venus in Furs." In walks Vanda (Nina Arianda), an unknown young actor who begs for the chance to read for the role. But over the next 100 minutes, the balance of power shifts and tension mounts as Vanda's audition becomes a fierce yet funny psychosexual struggle for control. When Thomas says, "This is hard. I can't believe I put actors through this," in the middle of a line reading, Vanda tells him, "You're a director. It's your job to torture actors." Not coincidentally, both characters remind the audience that Sacher-Masoch is the source of the word "masochism." So are some auditions really this intense? "I think it's safe to say that nobody has had that experience," Dancy says with a laugh. Replacing original lead Wes Bentley in the Broadway transfer meant that Dancy was the new kid on the block among co-star -- and recent Tony nominee -- Arianda, Ives, and director Walter Bobbie. Having missed the original production (he was appearing in MCC's "The Pride" Off-Broadway at the time), Dancy worried that he would have trouble catching up to the rest of the team. But since the play depends entirely on the interplay of its two leads, Dancy's arrival pushed the reset button for everyone. He credits Ives for creating such a complex relationship between two characters that are using each other to discover themselves. Dancy adds that there is "pleasure" in delivering the playwright's precisely crafted dialogue, which also demands that the actors bounce back and forth between various accents to delineate the intricate plot's hairpin turns. While one takes the upper hand, the other slips into submission. "One of the reasons why it's so fun is because the play is a series of surrenders," Dancy says. "It's like Thomas is ripping off a bunch of Band-Aids and choosing to abandon himself to whatever's next, to the moment, to wherever it's going to take him. And that is really the quintessential experience of doing a good play and performing live -- throwing away whatever's gone on before and discovering something new in the moment. And when it's working well, it's exhilarating, just as it is in this play for Thomas." Though Dancy has been performing in "Venus in Fur" since October, his big-screen work hasn't slowed down. Shortly after previews began, Dancy could be seen on the silver screen in "Martha Marcy May Marlene." Now comes the release of "Hysteria," the Victorian-era romantic comedy in which he stars opposite Maggie Gyllenhaal. The ease with which Dancy navigates between mediums is somewhat ironic, since the actor never expected his career to put him onscreen in the first place. Prepared for Poverty Dancy didn't expect to find work at all as an actor. He seems envious of students who assume that a job will be waiting for them come graduation day, no matter how unlikely the prospect. "I was suffering from the opposite form of delusion, which was the idea of employment being utterly unrealistic," he says with a laugh. After graduating from Oxford University with a degree in English literature and language, he pursued acting, taking a job as a waiter and introducing himself to agents and casting directors. "It wasn't that kind of Hollywood story," he says, "where you grow up on a farm and you suddenly walk into a diner and somebody says, 'Oh, my god, you're a movie star!' I did come into it thinking of it as a craft. I hate that word, though. I just think it's radically overused." So what does he prefer to call it? "Work." He was eventually introduced to an agent who helped him get cast in plays and small roles in a handful of British television series. "When I met my agent, he said, 'You should maybe think about getting an accountant,' " Dancy says. "And I was nodding, but I thought, 'This guy's crazy. What does he mean, an accountant?' It didn't occur to me that I would ever work in TV or film, actually. I just didn't know about that." But after his turn as the title character in a 2000 TV adaptation of "David Copperfield" attracted the attention of American agents, Dancy began making frequent trips to Los Angeles to audition for movie roles. He now lives in New York -- a move he says was "more the result of my personal life" following his marriage to actor Claire Danes in 2009. "So much of it is about being able to sit in a room and make a connection with somebody," Dancy says of his career, "and then you get to actually demonstrate whether you can do the job or not. But if you can't do the first thing, you won't get to do the second thing." And unless you produce or direct your own projects, Dancy says, "the only power that you have as an actor over your career, in some sense, is to say no. The one thing that I think I have tried to be responsible about is actually being picky." Actors cannot start a career by turning down every opportunity their agent brings forth, however, especially if they hope to have any projects to choose from in the future. And when Dancy was cast as D'Artagnan in the 2001 Musketeers-inspired movie "Young Blades," he learned a valuable lesson during the shoot, even though he almost refused the role. "I thought, 'This is pretty frivolous and pretty silly, really,' " Dancy says. "But my agent said, 'Oh, just do it,' so I did it. And it was frivolous and it was silly, and I had a fantastic time. I learned that you can just enjoy something. I don't think frivolous and silly is necessarily a bad thing. I was in the wrong." Telling the Whole Story Switching between film and theater projects brings with it a singular perspective. "You just aren't afforded the time [during a film shoot] that you get in theater to mine the piece of work and understand what to do with it," Dancy says. "In the theater, the prep work is done in rehearsal, but the real work of understanding it comes when suddenly you're doing it every night, beginning to end, nonstop, in front of an audience. Even if you're lucky enough to get rehearsal for a film or TV, you never get the run-through process. So you never get to the point where you really understand the shape that the story should take and how you can serve it in the shape of your performance. You have to try and do that work on your own [for a film], however you do it." The big-picture understanding that Dancy brings to his work was evident to Tanya Wexler, the director of "Hysteria," in which Dancy stars as a doctor who inadvertently invents the vibrator while working on a cure for a mysterious illness in prudish 19th-century England. "He's able to do what a lot of actors don't feel comfortable doing," Wexler says, "which is, he can think from within the character but also from the whole script. A lot of actors don't want to think about too much of the context, because they want to be within the character, just like we are within our own lives. The joke in a lot of film schools is that the extra in the background thinks the movie is about the waiter, because if you're living within the part, that is your whole world." Discussing Dancy's work shortly after the film's U.S. premiere at the Tribeca Film Festival, Wexler says the actor was involved in every aspect of the six-week shoot and offered his input in the direction of several scenes. He knew not only his place in each shot but added ideas to incorporate unexpected physical comedy and also maximize the time and talents of everyone else on set when the cameras were rolling. "He's not trying to direct my movie," Wexler adds. "He's trying to help us make something together." Though Dancy says that he has no directorial aspirations, he knows that what he wants from his career is not far out of reach. "There's a shifting goalpost," he says, "because the things that are open to you maybe change, but so do the things you want that are just within your grasp. You have to fight for them still." Outtakes - Dancy has been cast as FBI agent Will Graham in "Hannibal," a new NBC series that provides the origin for the iconic cannibal of "The Silence of the Lambs" and its sequels. - Born and raised in England, he got a glimpse of the U.S. when his father taught briefly at the University of Pittsburgh. "For the 13-year-old me, Pittsburgh was the most multicultural and exotic place I'd ever been," Dancy says. "We were living next to the kind of Hasidic Jewish area, and there was also a Turkish community. It was just America, you know? It was the melting pot." - In the upcoming animated film "Dorothy of Oz," Dancy voices a character named Marshal Mallow. "I was playing a marshmallow, so I had pretty much carte blanche," he says, laughing. "Vocally, you can be bolder than you probably would be under most circumstances."

Hugh Dancy shrugs at the notion that he tends to share strong chemistry with his female co-stars.

"I think "chemistry’ is an overused phrase,’ the actor says. ‘It's hard to define, and it usually just involves good writing und good acting. I’ve certainly worked with people that I didn't feel any personal chemistry with what-soever but that worked out very well onscreen. “He adds, laughing, “And there are plenty of stories of people falling in love on movie sets and then producing absolutely abysmal films.” In fact Dancy met his wife, Claire Danes ("Homeland"), in 2006 while filming "Evening." The actors were married in 2009. If onscreen chemistry is mostly the result of hard work, as Dancy claims, then the actor is one of the hardest-working men in show business. Whether working Anne Hathaway in "Ella Enchanted" or Isla Fisher in “Confessions of a Shopaholic.” making the most of supporting roles in female-driven ensemble films such as "Martha Marcy May Marlene" and "Our Idiot Brother,’ or verbally sparring with Laura Linney in the Showtime series “The Big C”., the charming Brit seems to surround himself with strong leading ladies. That trend continues with his two latest roles - as a writer- director who finds himself in an unusual audition with a young actor (played by two-time-Tony nominee Nina Arianda) in "Venus in Fur" on Broadway, and as the inventor of the vibrator (opposite Maggie Gyllenhaal and Felicity Jones) in the new film "Hysteria." “You're trusting the person that casts you to cast the rest of the roles well.” Dancy says. "In the past, I've gone and done an audition with somebody and not known them and just on the basis of the audition thought, "Wow! That would be great. That would work really well.” “When asked for an example, he laughs und says, "No, actually they cast two other people!",

#hugh dancy #interview hugh dancy #photo hugh dancy #backstage #mine #not mine #magzine

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irl-dogboy · 6 years ago

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ok gonna. vent and stuff under the cut. im very sorry ive been doing these vent posts so often recently i have just not been having a good time u_u lmk if u read through and need anything tagged. i might make a whole new tag for ppl to block bc ngl i dont think anybody wants to read these lol

iiiiiiiiiiiiiii grew up too fast and i wish that the adults in my life were responsible!!!! yup thats what today’s problem is!!!!!!

i hate that i have to play parent to my parents and aunts and uncles when they get drunk. and ill admit that they dont get drunk often!!! but. when they do its so annoying. and i feel like a dick for saying that (which is a whole other problem) but i can hear uncle harassing my fucking dog right now, shes trying to sleep bcause today has been really stressful for her. but shes being woken up by his annoying aggressive dog and his yelling and annoying shit. and i want to go get my dog and bring her in and make sure shes ok but i cant because im literally terrified of him.

but like i know that my parents have been irresponsible fucks since the very fucking beginning!!!!! i was watching family guy at age 4!!!!!! i was allowed to do whatever the fuck i wanted online when i was like 8!!!!!!!! EIGHT YEARS OLD!!!!!! I MADE A DEVIANTART ACCOUNT IN 2012!!!!! I WAS FUCKING EIGHT OR NINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND THEY DIDNT CARE!!!!!!!!! i dont do it anymore but i used to do nsfw roleplays when i was 11 fucking years old!!!!! i found pony porn when i was 10!!!!!! they did not fucking care!!! not once did they check, or ask me about what i was doing!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they dont know to this day!!!!! and i dont know if i can call that any kind of traumatic but its certainly given me a shit ton of problems!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ive been being the bigger person, the responsible one, since i was 11 years old. im so fucking sick of it. its not like hurried child syndrome, but. i just. hello????? and ive been brainwashed or something to feel bad for thinking that theyre assholes!!! its never their fault, its always “you know we’re shit parents” LIKE SELF AWARENESS FIXES ANYTHING!!!!! good job buddy you acknowledged something ive known for 5 or 6 years. gonna do anything to change? no? rad!!! and its like??? i cant even complain to them because theyve done good things too!!! i have a nintendo switch. i have a 3ds. i have a laptop, and a tablet, and a little portable speaker, so theyve made me think that im spoiled for wanting an ounce of responsibility!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and the thing that gets me the most, more than anything that theyve ever done to me, is my parents have been putting off taking my dog to the vet. which is fucking insane. because she has a giant fucking tumor and its getting worse and shes acting different and shes old and i want her to live as long and as happily as possible but she cant even curl up into a lil donut to sleep because of the tumor she has. and it just makes me so fucking MAD because ive been begging them to take her to the vet for months in case its something bad and we dont wanna be too late to save her they just keep!!!! putting it off!!!!!!!!!!!!!! its like? am i the only one that fucking cares about her???? im the only one that feeds her and fills up her water and checks on her when shes stressed and i want her to be okay because shes basically the only thing im fucking living for and i want her to be ok. so. fucking. badly

and like. obviously this is some real intense wishful thinking but i wish that like a teacher or a distant relative would appear and just. take me away. idk. i just wish my parents werent my parents and my family wasnt my family LOL

#if u need anything tagged lmk #christmas brings up a lot of shitty memories for me #if u cant tell #lol #i started crying writing about my dog #i started crying just THINKING about my dog #oh well #goatmanetc

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letstalksymphogear · 6 years ago

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Symphogear, EP. 4 (Cont)

The gremlin challenges Tsubasa, a Symphogear, whose entire shtick is to sing to channel power, to sing.

It dawns on her, however, that Tsubasa is part Greninja. Tsubasa used Shadow-Weaving! It’s super effective.

“tell me, you jellyfish looking weirdo...”

“hey- hey, time out. are you gonna do what i think you’re gonna do. this is gonna like, kill you. you know that, right? that you will literally die? you do understand you can just retreat now or- or just take hibiki away, right? i even told you that was the whole point of this... uh... oh shit.”

“ARE YOU READY TO JAM”

“tsubasa please i will literally lend you my remaining brain cell to stop you from this really stupid mistake”

Dad has entered the server.

“oh my god. oh my god. oh my god. oh my god. o- ryoko. stop breathing on me. this isnt helping my anxiety over my adopted daughter figure literally preparing to kill herself over my commands.”

“sorry babe its just the asthma, forgot my inhaler”

“i cannot FUCKING believe of ALL the opponents i had to fight i had to fight the DUMBEST one on the goddamn block, you idiot, you absolute dunce, RETHINK THIS”

“OH GOD SHE’S DOING IT! SHE’S DOING IT! THE ABSOLUTE MADWOMAN- FUCK- FUCK! GET ME OUT OF HERE! FUCK! FUCK!”

“just used up my last brain cell for this attack, pal. you’re through.”

“NAH, EAT ASS YOU- YOU GODDAMN MANIAC”

“HAHA YEAH, GOT YOU NOW, SLOW WALKING, DRAMA INDUCIN’, PURPLE RAIN CHANN-”

“OH GOD! YOU TELEPORTED! YOU’VE GOT SV_CHEATS SET TO 1, DON’T YOU! NOCLIPPING LIKE NOBODY’S BUSINESS GET OUT OF MY FACE”

“WHOA WHOA WHOA WHAT THE FUCK WHOA I KNOW I CRACKED SOME JOKES BUT WE LITERALLY JUST MET AND I- I GOTTA KNOW PEOPLE FIRST BEFORE THIS SHIT AND- OH GOD PLEASE STOP”

“OH GOD! THIS... RAW, GAY, REPRESSED ENERGY... IT’S... TOO STRONG...”

The gremlin could not begin to comprehend Tsubasa’s intense love for incredibly well-built redheaded women.

Hibiki can, though.

“SO......... MUCH........... SAUCE...................”

“.................................................”

The gremlin retreats after getting her licks. This scene subtly implied something; the Nehushtan armor she wears regenerates over time, which means no matter how much damage it sustains, it will always return in one piece. The same can’t be said for the user, though.

Hibiki runs to Tsubasa, checking if she’s okay, totally oblivious to the gravity of what just happened.

“i came just as i could and ive brought happy meals for everyone”

Genjuro asks if Tsubasa is okay.

I dunno man, this is a pretty tough judgement call here. I mean, is she okay? Pain is a pretty subjective experience, after all.

“oh my god i get it. i get the joke she implied. she wanted to jam. she’s jammed! cause it- it looks like jam! no, wait, its more like sauce...”

It dawns on Hibiki that people actually do die during this job.

Tsubasa, as it turns out, survived her Swan Song. It makes sense that she would because she was naturally receptive to her relic, Ame-No-Habakiri. Still, the injury comes with great gravity. She’s benched for the next season, and it’s likely she’s gonna miss the playoffs.

Stuck on a respirator on the edge of life, Tsubasa will probably look back at this and go, “Gosh, I was such a wild child. Haha. Almost dying and all.”

Hibiki wraps her single braincell around the idea of death. Most main characters aren’t familiar with the concept of death, you see, because most don’t die. But this is Season One Symphogear. Flirting with death is common.

Ogawa comes in to comfort her.

“dumbass had her opponent bound and the gremlin still escaped anyway”

Ogawa then explains shit we already know. Thanks, Ogawa.

“in summation: i get where you’re coming from, but stop fucking saying ‘im gonna replace kanade’, please, im begging you”

Hibiki FINALLY gets it, and naturally upon realizing, feels really bad for it. A real right and true asshole.

“oh thank god i was worried not even that was going to get to you”

Meanwhile, in Tsubasa’s mind...

“ah fuck me. im trapped in metaphor limbo. see, im falling because i clipped my wing, cause i nearly died, you know, like icarus and shit”

“hold up my gay senses are tingling”

Her senses confirmed. Kanade is in her mind, in probably the most romantic metaphor possible. There is absolutely no way to interpret all of this platonically.

Tsubasa is literally submerged in a sea of her own emotions...

Involving Kanade, and how she strives to be like her and honor her memory.

SHE LITERALLY DROWNS IN THOSE EMOTIONS, SUBMERGING DEEPER INTO THE WATER.

youtube

Tsubasa, in her Symphogear Brand Medical Cocoon for the Dumb and Beaten Down, quietly slumbers in her semi-comatose state as she wrestles the water metaphors of her own sexual identity.

The poor thing just misses her girlfriend.

Meanwhile, Hibiki sits and thinks more than usual. In a flashback, Genjuro muses about how The Gremlin wanted to kidnap Hibiki.

“i dunno maybe The Gremlin’s super lonely or shit”

“i mean if thats the case ill just adopt her too”

Since Tsubasa is away, Hibiki has to pick up the quota for teenage angst in the 2nd Division. Unfortunately, she has very big shoes to fill, but Hibiki isn’t one for slacking in the misery department. She blames herself for everything.

“im really going to fire the therapist we have around here for being pretty damn useless”

“can i be the therapist?”

“ryoko i am absolutely begging you to filter your bad ideas given the several teenage crises we’re dealing with right now”

Hibiki then yells out, for what is possibly the third time, out of the blue:

“I HAVE PEOPLE I WANT TO PROTECT”

The flashback ends.

And speaking of girlfriends.

“there is no force on this planet stopping me from having some quality fucking time with my girlfriend damnit”

Miku points out Hibiki has been pretty lonely. Says she heard it from a friend who, heard it from a friend who, heard it from another she was messin’ ‘round.

Unfortunately, Miku is a goddamned chad.

Immediate handholding. Make no mistake. Behind those soft-spoken eyes lies an absolute master.

“o-oh, my hand, you’re holding it, so smoothly”

“hibiki, you’re my sunshine. i want to soak up your rays so hard that every piece of flesh of my body is horribly mutilated from skin cancer.”

“jesus christ miku at least use sunscreen in your metaphors”

“ill use them just for you, hibiki. just for you.”

Their relationship is interesting. When one of them is sad, the other sorta acts as an angst vacuum. You’ll see them flip flop with their points of misery with each other, but when together, those problems always melt away.

Of course, emphasis on being together. Season 1 is the worst with keep them away from each other.

“Just Be Yourself!” Miku Kohinata, Symphogear, 2012.

“fuck me, you’re right. im the protagonist. i cant just eat shit here the whole time. i gotta do protagonist things!”

“was that an invitation?”

“another time. but now... let’s just catch up.”

And so, they laugh together about how the recorded footage of the meteor shower was all black. Truly the greatest couple of all time.

It is this realization of being her own self, coupled with her renewed gay energy, and new perspective on what she must do, that causes everything to go uphill for her from here. Take note.

Here is where a God is truly born.

Tachibana Hibiki.

The end of this episode cuts to a specific dojo.

Genjuro’s dojo.

“i dont fuck around with training, even though i probably should have trained you sooner. you sure about this?”

“dadman either you do this or i will most definitely die next time”

Part of their training involves watching action movies, because Genjuro is so unreal that he should frankly be a fictional character in the very universe he exists in.

Fucking adorable.

“im so conflicted its so clear she’s part of /fit/ now but i cant help but imagine her washboard abs”

Hibiki balls even harder at karaoke now, due to her Symphogear training, and not because she’s secretly Aoi Yuki playing a recolored version of Madoka.

Her significant other is mildly terrified at the superhuman that is slowly unfolding her powers before her eyes.

In the end, things all reach their logical conclusion.

Hibiki becomes a Tekken character, just like Genjuro.

Of course... Miku pushes the fact very subtly that she would never hide anything from Hibiki...

Turmoil brews in the worst way... soon...

#symphogear #symphogear season 1 #recap #anime

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tkwrtrilogy3 · 6 years ago

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Chapter IV: Darkness and Light (Pt. II)

Later, while I was alone in my chambers working on my heirloom, Mîrwen entered with a smile on her face.

“You spoke to Oropher,” she said as she threw her arms around my shoulders. “Yes,” I said. “This pleases you?”

“I think Nimeithel is a wonderful match for him. So does Valdúmîr.”

“I do not think it is up to us,” I said. “The heart does what it will.”

“True,” she answered releasing me. “But it can use a little help now and then.”

“Whatever it is,” I began. “Do not tell me. I would rather leave some things to my imagination.”

“Very well,” Mîrwen answered. “But I had nothing to do with it.”

“I find that hard to believe, Mîrwen. The ladies of the court live for such intrigue.”

“We do not.”

I looked up from my work at my beloved. She had longed for this moment since Oropher could speak.

“He has yet to ask us for our blessing,” I added. “Try to contain your joy, if you will.”

“Do you know something,” she asked.

“No more than you.”

“You do know something,” she said sitting beside me. “What do you know, Orothôn?”

“I know he is waiting for the right moment. Let him come when it is time. He will do what is honorable.”

Mîrwen nodded.

“If I must,” she said softly. “He is a good son.”

“That he is,” I agreed. “I could not be more proud.”

“Shall we go to dinner,” she asked. “It is time.”

I put my work down and rose with her. We left our chambers and made our way to the great hall. When we arrived, we noticed more elves than usual. Across the room, I noticed Denethor with Arethuil. Beside them was a handsome young elf with a maiden of enchanting beauty. Denethor saw me and led the two elves toward me.

“Orothôn, these are my children. Gildúr and Annariel.”

They bowed to me.

“It is an honor to meet you,” I said.

“The honor is ours,” Gildúr said. “To meet the father of such a great warrior as Oropher is humbling.”

“I beg your pardon,” Mîrwen said.

“I have seen him myself,” Annariel whispered. “When I can, Your Highness. You must be proud.”

“I am,” Mîrwen said. I could hear the anger growing beneath royal protocol. “Quite proud.”

Before she could say another word, the call to dinner came. We all took our places—including Oropher beside his mother. We waited in uncomfortable silence until King Thingol and Queen Melian entered with their daughter Lúthien. Once they were seated, everyone took their seats. I hoped for Mîrwen’s silence to continue through the end of our evening. Sitting across from us was Galathil and Celeborn—nearly himself unrecognizable as he was growing into manhood. Beside them sat their parents Galadhon and Celebriel. I could tell Galadhon has his eye on his sister.

“Mîrwen,” he whispered. “What bothers you?”

“Not a thing,” she whispered. “I am the proud mother of a great warrior.”

Oropher lowered his head. He looked at me and I shook my head. The silence between us continued until the end. When we rose, the silence was broken.

“If I may,” Oropher began. “I would like to call upon Nimeithel.”

As I nodded, Mîrwen spoke.

“You may not,” she answered.

“Mîrwen, let him go,” I said quietly. “You can speak with him upon his return.”

“I will speak with him now,” she said loudly.

The entire room fell silent. Elmo and Orowen looked toward us concerned.

“Mîrwen,” Galadhon whispered. “Not now I beg you.”

“If not now, when,” she asked. “When my son is a lifeless corpse on the field of battle?”

I wanted to hide. I could see Oropher was thinking the same.

“Mother,” he began. He was begging—something he had never done before.

“Please do not do this.”

“Daughter,” Elmo began. “Is there something you wish to say?”

I could see his son Galathil take a deep breath as his son Amdir looked on.

“My son is a great warrior,” Mîrwen started. “So I have heard. Why have I learned of this now, Father?”

“Do not be angry with anyone but me, Mother,” Oropher said. “It was at my request.”

“You are a child,” Mîrwen said. “You have no power to request anything.”

“I am no longer a child,” he said sternly. “If I can love, then I can fight. It is my duty to defend this land as my father and grandfather. I do not need your blessing for that nor do I expect it. But as your son, I would do anything to keep your heart from breaking. That is why I dared not say a word.”

I heard the sound of sobbing—several maidens had begun to cry. I looked at Mîrwen; somehow my son had made quite the impression. I could feel the room return to a sense of calm.

“Your son has a way with words,” Galadhon said.

“Yes,” I answered. “I am grateful for it.”

“May I call upon Nimeithel,” Oropher asked once more.

Mîrwen and I nodded together. He kissed his mother’s cheek and left us quickly.

“He is a good son,” I said to her. “You have raised him well.”

“We have raised him well,” she said taking my hand.

I kissed her. I knew she had accepted things to come. We returned to our chambers with some peace of mind.

**** **** **** ****

It began with the Marchwardens—King Thingol had ordered more to cover the borders of Doriath. Though things remained quiet, there was little doubt we were preparing for war.

In the days before the first battle, the naugrim were seen more often traveling the road between Nogrod and Doriath as well as within Menegroth. The cache of weapons seemed to swell over time.

There was never a time I was not on guard—every noise would turn my head as my heart would beat a little harder. Mîrwen tried her best to calm me but she was just as frightened.

Once I had finished my heirloom, I marveled at the thought of it being passed on generation to generation. I went to find Oropher. He was inside a keep looking over the land.

“I knew I would find you here,” I said to him as I approached.

“I was thinking to myself,” he said. “How beautiful Doriath is. I wonder what will become of it?”

“It will stand for as long as it should,” I answered.

He looked at me and smiled.

“I suppose,” he said. “Why were you looking for me?”

“I wished to give you something,” I began. “Perhaps make up for lost time with my only child.”

He gave me a curious look.

“I have spent my entire life with you, Ada. Whatever time was lost in your absence was sacrosanct to the service of the King.”

“I wish it had never been,” I said. “You should have been raised in Eldamar—far from this land we live in.”

“I know no other place as home,” he said. “I was born here as many others. Eldamar to me is nothing more than lore.”

“It does exist,” I said, even though I doubted it myself now. “One day we will see it.”

Oropher nodded. I knew he was doing it for me to change the course of conversation.

“I wanted to give you this,” I said, showing him the medallion I had made. “I have been working on it since the very moment I learned of your conception.”

He took it from me and marveled at it for awhile.

“Thank you, Ada,” he finally said. “I will cherish it always.”

He embraced me tightly. When he let go, I could see tears in his eyes.

“Why are you sad, Oropher,” I asked.

“Will I return from battle,” he asked.

“I have little doubt that you will return.”

“I have asked Nimeithel for her hand,” he said softly. “I do not want her to become a widow before she becomes a bride.”

I was as happy as I was breathless.

“Are you asking for my blessing?”

“I am,” he answered.

“You do realize your mother will be absolutely delighted.”

“I know,” he said, laughing. “Grandmother said as much. It would seem Mother has been planning for this day since I was born.”

“You are too generous,” I said. “She has been planning this much longer than that.”

We laughed together. I realized how long I had lived. My son had come of age and was about to start a household of his own.

“I suppose it will be up to me to speak with Êlengolas,” I began. “That is far easier than asking the King.”

Oropher nodded. We stood looking out at Doriath. It was a beautiful land. Its future perils were yet unknown to us as we enjoyed the moment together.--TKWRT Book I: The Epic of Eryn Galen by Jaynaé Marie Miller. 2-23-2019

#the kingdom of the woodland realm trilogy #book i #the epic of eryn galen #orothôn and mîrwen #menegroth #father and son #orothôn and oropher #based on tolkien #in honor of tolkien #middle earth #tolkien elves #first age elves

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literaphobe · 8 years ago

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eleven questions

Was tagged by @romanticcstylez to do this!! what a bitch JKJK I LOVE HER THIS IS FUN

Rules: Answer the questions given to you by the tagger Write 11 questions of your own And tag 11 people

1) when did you start watching brooklyn nine nine? October 2016!!! Caught up the day before Halloween IV, fell in love with Jake Peralta aka Andy Samberg’s LOOKS after seeing him for fucking 30 seconds on my screen while watching the new girl b99 crossover because I watched new girl BEFORE b99 and let’s just say I haven’t caught up with new girl in a long time

2) pet peeves? people ordering me around when I don’t want to be ordered around, and also people NOT ordering me around when I WANT to be ordered around lmao and also annoying people

3) do you have any siblings and how old are they? younger sister turning 15 in January!! She’s a bitch jk I love her with all my heart and FUCKIN soul and if anyone be crossing her imma start an arms race also she’s a bitch

4) tv shows you’re currently watching/want to watch? b99 (duh DOI), bobs burgers, rick and morty, the good place, superstore, stranger things, elementary,,,, Uh and idk I wanna watch every show every FUKIHN SHOW

5) do you read? yes, I read. I know how to read!! :D so proud of myself for mastering that Skill™

6) what are you wearing right now? *careless whisper starts playing* ;) ;) ;) haha I’m wearing pajama bottoms and also my drama club shirt which is super comfy I’m still in bed haha ha ha

7) who did you last text? wtf is text i don’t have friends

8) something stupid you did as a child fractured my wrist whilst competing in an amateur backwards hopping race. My friend fell and I said “oh no!” And being so overwhelmed with concern I tripped and fell. My friend who fell First was completely unscathed. I’m a fucking idiot

11) how long have you been on tumblr? since year 7! that’s like 5 yrs wow

9) song you last listened to according to Spotify I was just ABOUT to listen to Lie by Halsey and since I no longer have the premium subscription I can’t tell what song was before that ALL BECAUSE Spotify refuses to let me join our family Spotify subscription and that’s because they want our address and everytime we input the address they’re like W R O N G BITCH and I’m like FUCK YOU SPOTIFY THAT IS WHERE I LIVE I WILL THROTTLE YOU but there’s nothing I can do??? I hate Spotify what’s wrong with you let me listen to music?????

10) what did you last eat? Noodles! Mee pok, specifically

11) how long have you been on this hell site tumblr?

5 fucking years since 2012 I can’t??? Believe???

My questions:

1) what are you wearing ;)

2) where do you LIVE

3) is ur muffin buttered

4) do u need someone to butter your muffin

5) hummus. thoughts?

6) so how was school today? :)

7) there’s a thunderstorm outside. you’re tucked safely in bed and you’re slowly falling asleep. you’re in utter bliss because you haven’t slept in days. bread is baking in the oven and that smell combined with the petrichor scent from the rain has you feeling drowsy to no end. you start to hear scratches on your door and soft thuds against the wooden frame. what do you do?

8) you now find out there’s a litter of starving puppies outside the door. but your family is begging you not to open it. what do you do?

9) the starving puppies turn out to be a SCAM and you let in a bunch of MURDERERS who STEAL ALL THE PUPPIES YOU ALREADY HAD IN YOUR HOUSE because you regularly get puppies outside your door and your family is in hysterics. what do you do?

10) the bread fucking burnt to a crisp and inside the bread was a GPS tracker that could’ve tracked the puppies because the pups all have tracking chips on them and now you’ll never find those puppies again and your entire family hates you. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?

11) so how old are you? :D

I tag @evilqueenofgallifrey @romanticcstylez @bitchinjanes @startofamoment @elsaclack @amy-dancepants @hotelsweet @johnnydora @sergeant-santiago @ichigobunnybun-fairy @the-pontiac-bandit @proofthatihaveaheart

#IM SO SORRY HAHAHAHAHAHA #also i tagged 12 ppl bc i dont care #tag games

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hearteyesss-emoji · 7 years ago

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December 2012:

Silence lingered as Lydia sat in the hospital room staring at her father's face. His face. It was the same as it had always been and he looked so peaceful that he could have been asleep. If it were not not for the smell of the hospital - an aroma that smelled the same no matter what country she found herself in - she could have been waiting for him to wake so that the pair of them could enjoy one of their secret pleasures together. She could not bring herself to look anywhere else. His body was covered with bandages and beneath those, she knew that his body had been ravaged by a person who had no right to take him from her life. No matter how many days; how many countless hours she had spent by his side, it did not feel possible that he was in this room. Despite the physical reminders she felt that she had been seated for much longer than her body would have liked her to be, she was waiting to be shaken awake, swept into a tight embrace and reminded of just how loved she was by her father. He had always been her role model. He had worked his way up in the world from nothing. He was successful and well-liked and driven. Those were admirable traits in themselves, but he was also unbelievably warm and kind. He was Lydia's inspiration and always had been. He was her reminder that there was good to be found in everyone. Nicholas Rowan had reminded her of that in his work. He defended the condemned, got to know them beyond the judgements that were made. He had faith in the goodness of people, even in the darkest of times. It did not seem right that such a good, kind, genuine man was lying in that bed; attached to monitors that had long since stopped registering in Lydia's mind.

She was staring at him, waiting for his eyes to open, for his eyes to search the room for hers and his hand to take hers. She was waiting for a reassurance that it would be okay, because it had to be okay. Their time together was too short. She doubted he even knew just how much he had touched her life. Lydia could not lose him without him knowing just how much she needed him there; how much her mother and sister needed him there. There was no doubt that he was their rock. He was what kept them all together with his gentle demeanour and good humour about everything. For the first time, Lydia reached forward and grabbed the hand that did not contain the IV. it was the hand her mother had constantly had a firm grip on. It was Lydia's turn. It was not the warm hand that she remembered. It did not immediately wrap itself around her own and his head did not turn to look at her with warm, questioning eyes. Her eyes finally left his face and fell to the blinding white blankets. She closed her eyes tightly, willing the tears she felt building up in them to go away.

"Please daddy?" she pleaded with him. He had to hear her right? He could not be that far gone that he could not recognise when one of his daughters needed him.

"Come back. You can't go. We - I need you. Please? Please come back, daddy?"

She opened her eyes, a single tear sliding down her face her eyes returned to the face that had always brought her such comfort. "Daddy?" she pleaded again, shaking his hand. "Wake up. Please, wake up!"

Footsteps were clearly heard and Lydia quickly dropped her father's hand, wiped her cheeks and turned around. Her mother was standing in the door way; her eyes swollen and red. Somehow, she knew. She knew without knowing. It was over. There was no more hope left. Her father was never coming back and she would never see that smile, feel the warmth of an embrace or hear the comforting words he had to offer. The brunette knew, but could not accept it.

She shook her head. "No! You can't! Don't let them take him! Mom, please don't let them take him!"

Tears spilled from her eyes as she grabbed her dad's hand again. "Daddy! Daddy, wake up! Please, wake up!" she was shouting now, not caring for any of the other critical patients in this ward. Her head buried in his blankets as she continued to shake his hand. "Please!" she begged over and over again between sobs until she felt a hand on her shoulder. Her mother was standing behind her, tears running down her normally beautiful face. "I'm sorry, Lydia. I'm so sorry."

#badliarrp #c: lydia rowan #flashback

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cheswirls · 8 years ago

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a quick sum-up of che’s future career plans, bc reasons

im halfway through the dive!! anime show that came out this summer season, and i’m having a lot of thoughts, and plus i finished going through all the footage i missed today of skate america while i was at a bball game, and it’s made me realize different things i guess?

it might be mid-long length so its going under a cut, but to gain intereststart off, this is all about my desire to be an athletic trainer for the usa olympic center at colorado springs, co !

ive been an at(now when you see that abb. you know what it means hah!! not assistant teacher hmm) student since my freshman year of high school, and i’ve loved it a whole bunch. back then i was set on going to columbia U for their writing program, and i wanted to major in graphic design afterwards/during/it wasnt super planned out i was a fr. i didnt know what bfa or mfa stood for yet. it wasnt until end of sophomore year than i thought about being an at for realsies.

but i also still loved gd. so there was a confliction there.

junior year i took a break from working volleyball in the fall and did my one and only year of football and it was terrible primarily bc the team i worked with didnt know how to function as a group and half the group were selfless bitch whores but like thats another storyyy, secondly bc i jus really discovered i didnt care abt football at all. it was mostly for the experience and i gained it and i liked it bc i hung out w a lot of people from helping out w varsity (i was one of two our of the five juniors that had been there since my fr year and was only on jv bc it was my first year w football, but one of the seniors had to work a bunch so when they needed an extra person i was the one w the most experience so i was w them a lot,) point was it was fun!!! and you have fun w ppl you like that you dont work w all the time and i shouldnt say fun bc lots of times it was awful,

basically! it was fun being w the varsity trainers which were the seniors and the other junior that had been around since fr year. volleyball was fun but it had always been a one-at-student-per-team sport , so it was different jus being w other ats that shared the same team and not the same sport(which in the us is made up of at least three different teams, a fr,jv,and varsity). it was a more open environment and so it inspired a lot of talk with the at grad students we had that semester (we got 3-4 every semester in a partnership w the D1 uni in town, it was always cool to hear stories from them!) and anyway i remember talking w a couple of the grads one practice and we were discussing all the different occupations athletic trainers could have, and what they wanted to work with in the future, and the topic veered towards professional sports and the olympics.

i thought it was really cool when we were talking about it, and then we got busy and it flew out of my mind. i dont remember when it came back and became a focus, but sometime before my senior year, i had decided i wanted to work at the olympic level.

real quick i mentioned gd and the struggle, so to bring that into focus, my junior year i took a whole bunch of different tech classes (gd&i, compsci, webtech) and in one of those, i had the opportunity to go to a ... i cant remember what the term was for it, but it was kinda an event for gd students and it had a little competition and stuff, and it was really fun! nd you got a lot of info abt the community college hosting it and i learned their program was really good, so the gd versus at internal struggle continued, and i remember talking to my sponsor teacher (she actually taught all three of my tech classes that year aaa i loved her) about how i didnt know what to do and shit and i dunno what she told me but like, i think she was trying to be encouraging but she basically said it was up to me, like she didnt try and nod me into a direction, that i can recall.

so SOMEHOW bc i honestly cannot remember, by senior year i’ve decided that im gonna jus fuck it and pick BOTH and double major in gd and athletic training. AND i had it all planned out, where i was gonna get a degree in gd and open up an online business, and then go into a masters program for at and then enter into the olympic field.

by this point creative writing is still cool and a great hobby but i couldnt possibly double major AND have a minor that’d be too much. id still love to take a cw course tho one day.

basically a buncha crazy stuff happened that first semester but by winter break i had an acceptance letter to a uni a couple hours north of home with a good accredited undergrad program (accredited basically means you graduate w a masters in four years so its fasttracked which woulda been great but uh..) and by the time i found out that next semester that they were doing away with the accredited program i was already too emotionally invested to consider panic-switching(panic bc it was february and id already been admitted hah...) but i decided it’d be okay. basically if you dont remember/werent around one of my school’s head ats died in a car crash died around early october ‘16. she went to undergrad where i go now, and i’d talked to her about it september that semester wondering if she knew anything abt their program and uh surprise, she’d done the same program small world. after the funeral in november and a ton of thought i applied there. (november was.. crazy in general last year. rly crazy)

may was when i started adding on sports to the future olympics job, bc i started thinking about it and after finally getting a friend to watch yuri on ice, he started making his was through all of sochi’s figure skating stuff, and then the 2010 vancouver olympics, and i decided i wanted to recap a bit on that too.

the 2010 olympics was really my first experience with figure skating. i’m a west texas gal and so theres not a lot out here to get exposed to, so seeing these best-of-the-best class sports was fun, and the earliest experience i can remember of such. i was in fifth grade so i dont remember a ton, but i do remember being captivated by korea’s yuna kim, who won gold that year in fs. shes an fs legend at this point, so if you’re into figure skating and don’t know who she is, go look her up. you wont be disappointed.

in 2012 was the london olympics. i remember a lot from it, like watching the opening ceremony with my parents and seeing the queen jump out of a helicoptor(which is like,, still cool to this day wow) and being fascinated my michael phelps and all the swimming he did so grandly. it was also my first real exposure to diving. the oldest i could recall anything abt the sport was at a pizza hut somewhere.. in town i think, and i was w my best friend at the time and my mom was there so i think maybe we were on the way back from the lake??? sounds right, i think. and we were talking abt how i always held my nose when i went underwater bc i didnt know how to not get water all up my nostrils and be underwter(and i still dont to this day aha) and she mentioned like, joining a diving team would be cool! would help me get over it and all! and i like recalling it dunno what she was talking abt bc we lived in dirt city nothing so i highly doubt there was or is any sort of diving sport happening. swimming, yeah maybe, there were lessons at pools and bodyworks areas around town, competitive teams im not sure tho, but not diving like at all so??? dunno.

so my next and technically first real experience with it was watching the london olympics. and i thought, wow, this is so neat!! i watched from that one day like the opening events, and i think i was old enough to search online like yea i had a laptop by then so i looked up the schedule for the things i wanted to see most of, and i ended up watching i think most of the diving events (i missed a couple for.. archery, i think? maybe?) and absolutely loving it. iunno what it was, maybe something i never thought i could do?(bc not hold my nose?? while i dove???????? scaryy) but i enjoyed it a bunch.

i was older when sochi was a thing, my 8th grade year. i was able to appreciate things a lot more. when i tuned into events, tony hawk and snowboarding were the main focus, but figure skating was on a lot as well. i had a tv in my room by that point, so if i didnt like what was playing on the main tv, i could go watch another event. i learned a lot of names and faces through that, and so while my bff was watching it our senior year if i was with him id point out skaters and their nationalities and stuff, like yuzuru hanyus always been a modern day household name w figure skating, but i leanred abt him BECAUSE of the sochi olympics, and he was one of the ones i’ve never forgotten. i really really liked it, so much that i watched worlds after, and around the same time my fr year, i tuned in to just the worlds championship again. i didn’t pick up trying to watch grand prix(which is their regular season, for those unaware) season until my junior year, and most of it was day-or-two-late videos from youtube, since the ice channel i think it a paid-for thing (i still dont know much abt it hah) and nothing was on tv otherwise, aside from the skate america event. but since that first time after sochi, ive always been around watching worlds fs near the beg of each year. i’d familiarized myself by senior year with the fs world, and actually,

early (i think march?) of my junior year, i searched up trying to find a figure skating anime at the time. and what did i find?? ginban, the only figure skating anime at the time. i watched like maybe all of one episode, it was abt a girl who shared her body w the ghost of a former figure skater while she was competing in events, and it was.. okay? lackluster, in the animation dept, but it was a 2005 show so.. yeah.

so after that i was like kk that wasnt good lets find another. and i didnt. not yet, anyway. instead, i found an announcement for violet evergarden’s animated adaptation, and yuri on ice, a realistic adaptation of the sport of figure skating. thats bolded bc its important. i found that shit abt yoi before it even had a promo poster, certainly before the pv came around that got everyone hyped up. i found it bc i was looking for figure skating in the first place. in fact, i think when the pv came out and got popular, i didnt even relate it to the upcoming fs anime i’d read about previously. it took me a bit to connect the dots.

watching yuri on ice at the same time as the gp 2016 season was surreal, but really interesting. i got my bff into it before the second to last episode came out, and i only remember that bc he finally showed any interest when he found something on twitter abt it being gay (newsflash/// hes gay, and before yoi his fav show was no6 bc that was as close as it got. he still rly likes it, we both do, but his solid favc is now definitely yoi. representation matters and all) and was like well now i HAVE to watch it and i was all yes it ends soon so pls. and he watched it twice in a weekend, and thrice before the finale came out, and then a few more times after that, iunno how many times but certainly more thn i have(i went back after the .. maybe ep 10? w/e ending had the after party reveal that changed everything, so i went back to analyze everything before the next ep) and between the week of 11 and finale 12, he started watching the sochi fs competition, and then the 2010 after the show ended w ep 12.

seeing this great fs show and getting a friend into the world of figure skating really renewed my love for it all. before the semester went out i went back and watched the reruns of the sochi fs stuff. and by may i’d decided i wanted to cosider that to be the sport i worked with.

with diving, it took a similar twist. in the form of the rio 16 olympics. i was all over that shit, i downloaded an nbc app on my phone so i could watch events live while i traveled with volleyball to a tournament in dallas and while i was at practice w them at home and generally jus away from the house and a tv. i planned that shit out had a schedule and everything for what i was watching live, and a lot of it was swimming, but a whoooole lot of live stuff was the diving.

in the hotel room in dallas the tv would always be on to w/e olympics events were airing at the time, either track or diving tho, one or the other, or recaps. quite a few girls ended up in the room in the evening and we’d all do stuff and watch in passing at the same time, and it was suuuuuper fun. watching the chinese women perform flawlessly and walk away w all the gold was fun, but finding a good commentator to actually say such was a disheartening challenge( one of the most memorable moments w live commentary that year was hearing a woman say of one of the chinese ladies that she’d done better before, after they revealed her personal best score ever like rly cmon be unbiased and jus passionate abt the sport youre covering pls.

ive always been super fond of the diving scene. it may not be as much as fs, but honestly, i wish i grew up in an area w a diving team now, or wish i could try it out now, bc thats how much fun it seems. i still wanna go up to the big city like 30min away from uni and learn to ice skate in the civic center there, but hands down if i had to pick a sport to join tomorrow or die i’d pick diving.

so also by may, and throughout the culmination of senior year, diving was the second sport on the olympic to-train-for list. you get a five-year contract w the olympics, now i think it’s usa as a whole and i think its by center so say, if i get a job in colorado springs i cant apply in another five years to chula vista or even like lake placid, but iunno for sure. the five-year thing is involved somehow bc i’ve heard it from a physical therapist and trainer-that-works-in-a-sports-med-clinic duo in one body named sarah, who’s been contracted out from the clinic by my high school since junior year also, bc she knows people who’ve worked w the olympics, and then another from church that worked w olympics that knows my family uh iunno how well but i know of him, i think he also works in the clinic as some sort of on-hand surgeon but a diff person than who sarah knew. so its five years somehow and then i’ll take my bfa in gd and open my online business and do that from a studio at home and look after my owl/cat pet combo.

since may, it had been ‘olympics, with either figure skating or diving’. and it stayed that for a long time. now, since a couple weeks ago, and this is again while gp season is happening for fs, its diving. i wanna work w the usa olympic diving team as their team athletic trainer, and i cant do it this summer bc i have to have completed two years of uni, instead of a certain standing, like be a junior, but so NEXT summer, before my senior year of uni, (i came in a sopho so 6 sem only ah) i’m applying for an internship at the center in colorado springs, and that’s the team i hope i work with.

now i tell people, diving, but if i get offered figure skating, i’ll take it, but diving is the goal now. if i love it and wanna continue professionally, great, i can do that and have an online gd shop. and if i decide i want something different? i’ll work olympics and then join w a professional-level figure skating i actually dunno how it works. coach, and their skater in turn. coach, with multiple skaters under them. a culmination of diff usa skaters. w/e, something in the professional fs world.

and thats uh, thats it! dive has been so much fun to watch, and i realize i talk a lot on here about working w basketball and being an at student in general and the vast majority have no idea what i mean, so hopefully this clarifies. thank you!!

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tkwrtrilogy3 · 6 years ago

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Chapter IV: Darkness and Light (Pt. I)

It was not long after that the world around us seemed to change. Though we remained under the protection of the Girdle of Melian, the sense of foreboding grew like thorns in our hearts and minds.

As I emerged from my chambers, I nearly ran into Êlengolas.

“Êlengolas,” I said. His face was stoic. “What brings you here?”

“You do not know,” he asked. “Surely you have some idea.”

“I am afraid I am quite unaware. Has battle come to us?”

Êlengolas smirked.

“You honestly have no idea,” he began. “Have you not noticed your son has started to come of age?”

“I have,” I answered, feeling at ease. “So has Eldôr as well as your daughters.”

Êlengolas smiled, then laughed.

“Yes, they have,” he said. “They are quite lovely. It would appear their loveliness has not gone unnoticed.”

“What are you saying,” I asked.

“I am saying that your son has taken a liking to my daughter, Nimeithel.”

I stared at him for a moment.

“I am afraid Oropher has not said a word to me or his mother.”

“And why would he,” Êlengolas said. “He has yet to make his intentions known. He is much like you, Orothôn. Thoughtful and profoundly naïve.”

“I beg your pardon,” I asked, growing angry.

“You, my friend, see only the flowers, never the thorns. Eternally optimistic.”

“You say that like it was a flaw.”

“It is, but one that is tolerable,” he answered smiling. “For now, I would have a word with Oropher. My Nimeithel speaks of nothing but him.”

Êlengolas began to walk away.

“Where are you off to,” I asked.

“Off to find Valdôr,” he answered. “The trouble with daughters is that others have sons.”

I smiled to myself. It was true—I had not spent as much time with my son as I should or would like. I walked to his door and knocked.

“Enter,” my son said.

I walked in—it was much like my chambers in detail. I saw Oropher swinging a sword.

“What is this,” I asked.

He stopped and looked at me. He was far more a man than the child I remembered. He was strong in stature—his golden hair falling over his shoulders like a waterfall.

“What are you doing,” I asked.

“I am practicing,” he said. “Nothing more.”

“You are not going to war,” I said angrily. “I will not allow it!”

“Ada,” he began.

“Your mother will not forgive me if I lost you.”

“Stop,” he said, his voice deeper than it once was. “There are not enough elves to defend this land.”

“How would you know,” I asked. “Who said this to you?”

“We are no longer children,” he said. “Hard as you try, you cannot keep us protected from what evil will come. We have been training for some time now.”

“Who is ‘we’,” I asked, my voice ringing in my own head as it echoed throughout the room.

“Me and Eldôr,” he said softly. “Some others as well. Upon my request.”

“I did not give you permission.”

“I know. You would never allow it. I asked grandfather to ask his brother, King Thingol, and he said yes.”

I stared at my son. He was unrecognizable.

“Please, do not be angry with me, Ada. I did it for you.”

“For me,” I asked—my eyes filling with tears.

“I want to be there to protect you,” he said. “I know Nana would die without you. I could not forgive myself if I did nothing to save you and her.”

I walked over to him and embraced him. I never loved Oropher more if that were possible.

“I love you,” I whispered.

“I know,” he answered. “I love you, too.”

When I let him go, I thought of Mîrwen.

“Do not tell your mother,” I said. “Now is not the time.”

“No,” he agreed. “Not now. She has her mind on other things.”

“What things?”

“She has her mind on Nimeithel. I am quite sure.”

My mind returned to my meeting with Êlengolas.

“I just met Nimeithel’s father in the hall. He says she speaks of nothing but you.”

Oropher smiled, his face flushed.

“She does,” he asked.

“How do you feel about her, Oropher?”

He sat down on his bed.

“I am quite fond of Nimeithel.”

“I have known that for some time,” I said sitting beside him. “Since you were very young.”

“What should I do,” he asked. He was my son again.

“What does your heart tell you?”

“My heart wants to marry her but I know I must wait. Eldôr is in love with her sister Valdúril. I cannot imagine what their father must think of this.”

I laughed.

“I do not think you have anything to worry about.”

“So you will give your blessing,” he asked eagerly.

“Are you asking for my blessing?”

“I do not know,” he said.

When you know, then your mother and I will give you our blessing.”

“Thank you, father,” he said.

He lept from the bed and ran out of the room. I looked around. My world was changing—for the better and the worst.--TKWRT Book I: The Epic of Eryn Galen by Jaynaé Marie Miller. 2-16-2019

#this is a book #the official tkwr trilogy #tkwr trilogy #book i #the epic of eryn galen #oropher son of orothôn #based on tolkien #in honor of tolkien #father and son #êlengolas and orothôn

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targsdaenerys · 8 years ago

Text

let me tell you all a story. a story of my experience with ouat.

2012.

in fourth grade, i was watching american idol. during commercials, i viewed a promo consisting of a dragon and unicorns. now, at the time, unicorns were my ver y favorite, so of course, i was intrigued. i told my mom that i heard about a show with unicrons, but that i didnt know what it was called. she told me how she had heard of it and wanted to check it out. after watching the season one interviews between red and snow, she believed it was too old for me. i agreed. no unicorns. not what i was expecting.

2013.

a year passes. fifth grade was a blur, and all i know is that we went to disney. i had no idea what would change since then.

2014.

my friends are suddenly starting to talk about this kid’s eyebrows. how they are “so hot” and “sexy”. she showed me a picture off of robbie kay’s instagram and i laughed. ha, peter pan? whatever.

but then, it started to reoccur each monday, they would talk about it. i actually started to look forward to monday lunch periods. i begged them to discuss what they thought of the episode. once again, i was intrigued.

so of course, i wanted to see what the fuss was about. whats this big deal with peter pan? and who the hell’s rumple after only a few clips, i suddenly loved snow and charming. i needed more. i needed to watch.

so i tried. desperately. i only had an ipad, and was unaware it was on netlfix, so i tried to watch the first episode of the series by typing in “once upon a time season 1 episode one online free to any platform.i actually was able to find it and went in excitedly the next day to tell my friends. that was when i learned it was on netflix and thati could not wait to get home and watch it. so i did. but the thing is, i was only there for snow and charming scenes. i literally only skipped to their scenes. thats how i watched the show.

but then, as i was scrolling around youtube one day looking forsscenes for them, i came across “Emma and Hook Kiss scene” my frirst thought? it was between “ew”and “serioulsy?”

i watched it anyway.

and to behonest, it was kind of just a “okay, that happened” kind of thing. it wasnt until my friend told me after the season 3 finle that emma and hook kissed again before i got alitle excited. not much more, though.

then months pass, and suddenly, scrolling around netflix, i come across the hunger games. i held a grudge against the series since it became big with the popular group in my school that year. but i was thirsty for romance. and i heard it had some.

and thats how i fell in love with everlark. one night. the next morning i started following pages on instagram. i look up the ship on googlge. and tumblr posts pop up. i make a tumblr.

i start to follow pages on there with everlark, but then i start to see things on both platforms. emma and hook. and then, i slowly started to fall in love. not much. i just watch a couple of their scenes during season three, come across their second kiss. getting really, really excitated for the fourth season.

at the point, i had written about two everlark fanfictions. i wanted to write one about emma and hook, but i had no i dea how. or what .

but then tumblr inspired me. to the point where i started to freak out over every episode no matter how small the scenes were. in october of seventh grade, i wrote my first captain swan fanifction. i also drew my first drawing that i never thought i was able to do. sure, it was with a sketchbook my aunt got me in second grade and a #2 pecil, but i believe its still beautiful. it wasnt long after i actually found the name, captain swan, rather than using “kemma” or “killimma”.

2015.

and from there, my obsession sky rocketed. i stayed up until four every night after an episode, despite schol the next morning. i wrote little drabbles that arelong since gone ever since my laptop broke. i drew more drawings, i rewatched every scene until thats all that was in my head.the s4 finale was as hard on me as everyone else, and i tried to write a specualtion fic to the s5 premiere. i neverfinshed. although, looking back at the writing now, i can still feel the pain i was in by it.

and then season five started. again, i freaked out as much as everyone else. every episode. i still remeber the week after the first episode, we lost someone int he fandom. we miss you, love.

and then it was late october.saturday the 22nd, my mom came into my room to ask me if id seen my friend alyssa that day. she was a year older than me, afreshman in highschool. i didnt, so i told her. i didnt ever think what might have been.the following day, i was working at the food pantry when my mom caled me.they had found alyssa. but she wasnt okay.maybe in her mind she may have been the best shes ever been, but to us,she wasnt.

no one else knew, and i had to walk home in silence. i didnt cry because at the time we werent as close as the year before and it didnt hit me.but then my mother’s words repeated in my head. “Alyssa died, sweetie.” it was asentence i never forgot.

im not the best at keeping my emtions with myself. i always think people will judge me and call me selfish if i cry, and i didnt want it to be like that. so i kept it in.i kept the tears in for so, so long, even to the point here i didnt even cry at her wake where she looked like an angel although the scarf around her neck was something shed never wear. and what kept my sanity? once upon a time. it was then when i realized it was my anchor.

2016.

back in 2015 my mother made me audtion for a vocational school. earlier that year i had found its dance program and wanted to go, but along the way my intrest dwindled. she told me to give it a shot anyway because i had a very low chance of making it in due to my grades at the time.

i made it in.

the following months were the worst of my life. every day on the way home from dance wed fight about which high school was better, and although she was right about me going to the vocational one, i wanted to stay in my district. lets just say the only thing that kept me from following alyssa into the darkness was dance competitions. oh, and what else. the damn once upon a time episodes.

she forced me to go to that school, by the way. sure, i enjoy it now, but the people there suck and i still do not like how she went at it.

that fall, i take my friend to our first convention.since i started watching oneupon a time, i wanted others to watch it, and my one friend agreed to. until the end of the neverland arc. and peter pan died. no more ouat for her. but, since robbie was going to be there, lets go. she got a picture with him, i got a picture with bex. yayay.

2017.

last week, we experienced the best sunday of our life. a wedding we never really thought would happen. it was unbelievable. emma got her happy ending(or beginning) aand we got ours. it was so thrilling that even my friend who stopped watching in season three was excited. but as much as it was unbeliable the night, the following morning was too.

that was the most giddiest i had ever felt for school. every more we have a forty five minute bus ride and the but whole time i listened to the musical on repeat. but then, as i looked down to pause the music as we pulled into school, i saw my friends text. Jen’s facebook post.

i was in a daze all day.

it wasnt until lunch, the last period since it was a half day, where i just broke down. people asked me what was wrong and i explained as best i could, but shitty people have shitty outlooks on things and they didnt understand. it was the loneliest ive ever felt.

my mom kind of comforted me, telling me how she felt the same when parent hood ended and that ill find a new show ill like just the same, but one upon a time is special. no show can replace or even add onto what kind of mark it had left on me. it was what started my career in wririting and drawing. in someways it kept me alive. and what did people do when i told them this? they laughed.

it was tuesday night when i ran down stairs, telling my mom about convention tickets for colin and jen photo op i found on sale. we had them in mind for awhile, but never got them. she told me wed look into it. we missed the sale.

so here we were, here i was, aall i was able to think about was how id never meet the people who played the characters that shaped me and my future. until the next morning, my birthday, where i was given the tickets.

and today,to night, was pretty much the end of the storybook. im not going to go into it because i have it on a post from about an hour ago. but thank you everyone, for helping me be me. and thank you for this blessed oppurtuniy, in which i had never and will never take for granted, to be a part of such a magical communtiy. because of this platform i have aspired my career of writing, drawing, and fulfilling my dreams of being a princess by being able to contact disney about the program.if it wasnt for this damned, beautiful fucking shwow, i would probably bedrastically different. this story we created is timeless, a neverending fairytale in both real life and on screen. the story contiues for ever and ever in our hearts and writing and drawing and all of the incredible talents we all have.

#once upon a time #captain swan #cs family #captain swan fam #captain swan fandom #i love you all #ouat

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