#ive been looking at these too long so i cant judge how they look anymore

[hinata-boke]

Drawing a randomly generated Haikyuu character (almost) every day until I give up

71. Kageyama Tobio

[hannieehaee]

hi! i wanted to request seungcheol x reader based off of ‘how you get the girl’ by taylor swift? thank you!

content: inspired by 'how you get the girl' by taylor swift, angsty, fight between reader and cheol implied, fluff ending, etc.

wc: 738

a/n: ive never rlly listened to taylor before so im sorry if i took the lyrics out of context i tried to research the meaning of the song but i wasnt 100% sure T-T anyways tysm for requesting sorry i took so long <3

masterlist

seungcheol knew he had royally fucked up.

the details didn't matter now. it had been a while now – six months to be exact – and he still couldnt get over you. he'd see you around town occasionally, and you'd look perfectly fine. how could you be fine when he was so empty without you in his life? were you really better off without him?

he tried to move on, he really did, but no one was like you. the type of love you had was the type he wanted to be his endgame. there was no question about it. which was why he needed to fix his this.

it started with attempts to be in the same spaces as you again. he would find out where you'd be from mutual friends (okay, a little stalkerish, but it was fine!) and make sure to be in attendance to any party you'd go to. lucky for him, you were best friends with his good friends soonyoung and vernon, which gave him the perfect opening to approach you every time. at first you'd look peeved off by his presence, but after a few times you seemed to warm up to him, even laughing at his jokes sometimes. after a few weeks of intruding your friend hangouts, it was as if he'd always been there.

the day finally came in which you'd been left alone together at a party, with both soonyoung and vernon leaving one by one. it was getting late, so seungcheol offered to walk you home, which you surprisingly accepted with a polite smile. you talked like old friends on your way back, never once making any mention of the relationship you used to have. that made cheol both sad and relieved. it was good you weren't hurt by it anymore, but did this mean you were now looking for a mere friendship out of him? he had tried to bring back the old dynamics between the two of you. he had even been as physically affectionate as your newly-developed friendship would allow, but it seemed like that wasnt what you were looking for. seungcheol couldnt help but carry the disappointment in his face as the two of you arrived to your home.

"cheol? what's wrong?", you asked as soon as you caught sight of his face.

"hmm? oh, nothing. im fine. i, uh, goodnight. thanks for letting me walk you."

before he could even turn around, you pulled at his arm to grab his attention.

"cheol, what is it?"

he hesitated in speaking up again. he knew himself to be an outspoken man to a fault. and how was be expected to hold back when you looked so pretty under the moonlight and were even showing concern for him?

"i love you,"

fuck. that's not how he meant to start. and that was clearly not what you had expected him to say, judging by the shocked expression on your face.

"what?"

"im still in love with you, i- i know i fucked up, and i know i waited too long, but ... seeing you move on in life without me made me lose my mind. i know i shouldve apologized earlier. and i cant even blame you for breaking up with me, i ... i was a shitty boyfriend. i didnt treat you how you deserved. but i'll be better now, i promise! just give me one more chance. ill give you everything i shouldve back then and more. i know it's been six months, but ive been losing my mind without you. i know we could make this work. please?"

he knew he mustve looked crazy as he rambled his sudden love confession to you, but he still hoped that you'd maybe take pity on him and take him back. however, after a full minute of silence from you as you didn't meet his eyes, he knew that luck probably wouldnt be smiling at him today.

he turned to leave without a word until you unexpectedly stopped him again.

"wait, cheol," you seemed kind of shy about your movements, but still offered him a smile.

"come in? do you ... will you stay the night? please?"

your shy smile was met with his bright one as his arms warmly wrapped around yours, kissing your cheeks over and over as he used to once upon a time, walking the two of you into the apartment he was once oh so familiar with.

[skeleton-wannabeee]

ive been away for too long i need this community back 🥺

my dad passed and it was really tough because part of the reason he was dying was because he couldn’t eat and couldn’t get strong enough for certain treatments. that was hard bc ⭐️v ing myself…

my husband knows now that i relapsed and he keeps getting angry saying he doesn’t want me to d i e. i wish he wouldn’t express his concerns with so much anger.

i told my lyme doctor yesterday because i needed her to know that i cant really judge how well my treatment is helping my fatigue bc im not e ating enough to be energized. that conversation was hard and had me emotional the rest of the day.

im stuck between the desire to lose weight and desire to be attractive to my husband. hes attracted to me now, but he did always love my assets and those are not the same anymore. i started doing strength training with him but like part of me just wants to look sick.

i hate my boobs but i love my waist 🤷🏻‍♀️

venting over lol

[postmail]

okay so biggg trans hc dump up ahead. idk how read mores work and i was sleep deprived as hell when i wrote this so idk

okay so trans maxwell right? trans maxwell. but consider that if one part of a pair of identical twins is trans then typically the other one will be too. so trans jack.

and thats just dandy and opens up a lot of interesting paths you could take with that. and look, ive got a whole deleted version of this post thats twice as long going over the whole wendy and abi thing, so just trust me when i say that ive thought about it, lol

and just listen to me. the idea that both jack and maxwell are trans makes me feel so much. perhaps the reason they seem to be rather close is because they share this one aspect of themself with the other.

imagine a nervous william admitting his darkest secret to his twin and finding out that the other has been dealing with the exact same thing the whole time. or jack putting on a brave face and telling william that he wishes he was born a boy and william saying that he feels the same, and that maybe they werent born that way but they could become who they know they are inside. neither of them will face this alone, so long as the other is there

contrast this with trans, hirsute wilson. wilson, who feels like no one in the world understands. no gets why hes happy he has hirsutism, and why he refuses to shave, because they think hes a woman. he cant tell them that he feel like his body has finally got the memo thats hes a man, that it feels right to be able to grow a beard. its no becoming cis over night, but it makes him feel better. gender euphoria and all that jazz

wilson feels like who he is in the inside is finally being reflected outwards. and if other people dont like the truth... well, he doesn’t need them anyhow. he knows who is, and thats all that matters.

when wilson moves to america, it is very much like turning a new leaf. here, he decided, he would live as a man- and nobody would ever know the truth. and it feels great. but it also feels very lonely. it feels very isolating, and he has a dark secret all over again. hes not lying to himself or others anymore, but he knows how fragile this new life is. one wrong move, one wrong person confided in, and this whole new life hes constructed for himself will crumble in front of his eyes.

all of this considered, is it so much of a shock that he withdraws himself, swearing the only friend he needs to be science? refusing to interact with others unless absolutely necessary, never letting himself get close to anyone. to protect himself

all of this compounds into living alone in a rickety shack in the woods, far from anyone else. never seeing anyone except the postman on the other side of the window.

wilson might pass much better, but he lacks something maxwell has- a support system, someone who understands him. this isolation protects him from the transphobia of the outside world, but its loneliness all the same

its this that makes him willing to listen to the smooth talking stranger over the radio. he has no one, and when even science itself seems to fail him, hes eager to hear out the first friendly voice hes heard in a long time.

when hes trapped in the constant, it almost feels like reality has come back to smack some sense into him. of course, of course this would happen, who was he kidding?

when he frees maxwell and then precedes to be freed himself it takes them both a long time to figure out that the other is trans. they are both very well trained in hiding this specific part of themselves, but theres only so long you can hide this kind of thing from some one you are literally surviving in the woods with

so when someone inevitably finds out, i think it would be a whole ordeal. if its maxwell figuring it out then i think he would be more chill about it but wilson would lose his goddamn mind. for the first time, wilson finally has someone who understands him and doesn’t judge him.

it would change everything. wilson gets more comfortable with maxwell than he ever has with anyone else and maxwell can understand and he can understand maxwell

its been so long since maxwell had had another person like him around, and its like a breath of fresh air. he doesnt have to watch what he says, he doesnt have to make sure that his voice doesnt sound too high, he can just be honest with who he is, and wilson wont judge him. infact, wilson almost seems to like him more because of it

maybe they try to go back to how they were after this reveal but they just cant. they know too much now to just go back to the way they were. and maybe they find that they dont really want to, anyways

they might be in hell, but theyve got each other.

all of this to say, t4t maxwil is the best maxwil. trans rights baybeeeeee

[musherum]

For the ask meme: primes?

who is/are your comfort character(s)?

i dont really know if i have one anymore. sometimes, when im upset, i'll imagine kim kitsuragi from disco elysium shit-talking people im mad at, or him telling me that im doing okay. but i dont know if that really counts?

i used to have lots. but ive mostly moved out of that stage in my life. idk, i guess it felt in a way slightly infantile, and not like a great way to engage in media - and also like it was kind of a flattening of myself, if that makes any sense.

2. lighter or matches?

matches are soooo tantalizing. i love striking a match. but they disappear so quick! so i prefer a lighter, generally. the flint mechanism is also fun to play with, though i understand that is pretty unsafe to do.

3. do you leave the window open at night?

yes, usually. i like to keep fresh air flowing in, to keep myself from overheating or starting to wheeze. and i get to hear the crickets :)

5. what color are your eyes?

a fairly unremarkable blue. looking into them sometimes reminds me of looking down through the water at the beach, into the sand. but mostly they are fairly poetically uninteresting.

7. hair-ties or scrunchies?

hair-ties, usually. scrunchies are fun and cute, but i usually put my hair back for utility, and not for fashion or to look cute - i dont have a good relationship to the shape of my forehead and brow, or my jaw or chin, so if im trying to look nice ill generally leave my hair down. so cute scrunchies arent really something ive invested in.

11. favorite extracurricular activity?

i dont think i did many extracurriculars as a kid. i was in cross-country for a bit. i liked it okay, i liked going fast. but my asthma got too bad, and i started collapsing and not being able to finish races.

i was in a writing workshop in middle school, but honestly despite me always getting good grades in english, and despite me always being my english teachers favorite, i simply was not and am not a very good writer, at least not of fiction. idk, maybe i just need to practice more and stop judging everything i make like its the thing that will make or break my worth as a person. either way, i didnt attend the workshop for long, because of life-ruining depression

13. when was the last time you ate?

a few hours ago? my sister was over to do laundry, and i defrosted the veggie shepherds pie filling i had in the freezer, and made us both little shepherds pies in some ramekins.

it was pretty okay. i mixed the mash with some goat cheddar because i was out of parmesan, and it turned out nice. browned well, light and puffy. the filling was missing something. maybe it just needed some acid or something. idk

17. are you farsighted or nearsighted?

im nearsighted. thats one of the biggest reasons i dont wear my glasses very often - keeping them on, when im doing tasks that involve my face being just a few feet away from my point of focus? gives me a headache.

19. imagine we’re at a sleepover, would you paint my nails?

i could try? im not very good at it though :( i cant even paint my own nails without making a mess of it.

23. how do you feel about chilly weather?

already answered!

29. how do you like your shower water?

depends on the weather, and what would feel most refreshing. in the summer, i usually let my shower water run slightly cooler. but then again - after a hard day, when im full of aches and pains, nothing hits better than hot, hot water pouring down on me. so i guess it depends on the weather and how tiring my day has been.

31. what type of music keeps you grounded?

i usually listen to more energetic electronic music, but when i need to ground myself or bring myself back from the brink, i usually lean towards something slower and singable and maybe a little bit sad or morbid. half the time i wont even listen to it - ill just sort of wail along to it.

37. someone in your life, other than a relative, you’ve known for 10+ years?

this is a tough one. aside from some family friends?? ummm. drawing a blank here, i stopped communicating with a lot of other people from earlier in my life a long time ago. the closest thing i can think of would maybe be a couple of tumblr mutuals? and even then, theyre maybe, like, 8 or 9 years, tops.

41. how do you take your coffee?

already answered!

43. what’s your take on spicy foods?

already answered!

47. what was the last message you sent?

i asked my youngest sister if she was coming over tonight to do laundry, and if she wanted me to make her something to eat.

thank you for the questions :)

[auburnfires]

i havent gone to the er yet 🤡

[tendoki]

pulling up with a baby with tendou bc of the quarantine and how the team would react pls 🥺 i feel like coach washijo would be happy and would try to convince yall to let the bby go to shiratorizawa 🤣

anon ive been having the worst day but this request made me lose my shit thank u so much GOOD LORD LMFAOO

I did my best to do this request JUSTICE lol. it turned into general baby havin hcs but I hope you like it regardless!! its rlly long so my bad 🥺

Shiratorizawa reacting to Tendou + his s/o leaving lockdown w a mfin BABY

OK. so he was prob at your apartment when the lockdown was announced

so since all his shit was already there, he had clothes and a toothbrush n it was just generally more convenient for him to stay at your place

he did! he messaged his mom to let her know where hed be, she Didnt Mind lol (we dont know much ab tendous family so?? aah)

now. not saying yall spent all ur time fucking. but u 100% did

and since u ran out of birth control and condoms pretty soon into quarentine......... 👀

both of u sorta just went

FUCK IT

both of you were pretty in love anyway, and even if things didnt work out, you guys figured that youd always work together to be the best parents for the kid you could possibly be

which led to were ur at now. a measly week out of quarantine. n ur being rushed to the labour ward.

tendou is RUNNING AFTER U W HIS LONG ASS LEGS

shiratorizawa closed for the rest of the academic year, which meant that as a 3rd year, you guys and a lot of the team wouldnt see eachother in uniform again

but not to worry!! to make up for the missed celebrations theyve organised a prom and a couple days where 3rd years can come in and give proper goodbyes to everyone, including the coaches!!

everyone on the team showed up, because they wanted to say bye to their senpais 🥺🥺

but. that's like 3 months from ur labour

so when u n tendou pull up to the school, with a 3month old CHILD they r. astounded.

they know its u guys' tho

literally theres not even the possibility for a JOKE that u cheated on tendou because the kid has the same fucking hair.

it's only a little tuft (u know what anime babies look like lol) but that nose n that hair? TENDOU SATORIS GENES CAME THRU

the baby has ur eyes. and compared to the rest of its tiny little face?? they're fucking HUGE

you guys let ushijima hold him (I feel like youd have a son?) and ngl ushi cries.

it's a single tear but tendou will INSIST that waka was SOBBING years afterward

everyone is so attached to the kid sorry

USHIJIMA IS THE GODFATHER LMAO DID U EXPECT ANYTHING ELSE???

the baby is so attached to semi tho!!! the second semi reaches forward to hold the kid and poke at its fat lil cheeks, hes giggling and blubbering up at his uncle semi 🥺

JWJDJD GOSHIKI FREEZES WHEN YOU OFFER HIM TO HOLD THE KID. HE JUST GOES PALE AND FREEZES UP

REON IS SO GOOD WITH THE BABY

he offers to help you guys go shopping for more baby stuff 🥺🥺 and when his mom finds out ab the kid (team sleepovers were at reons house n u were ALWAYS invited so she LOVES U sorry I make the rules)

she gives u some of reons old baby clothes!!! n ur LOSING ur mind because WDYM THIS TALL MFER WAS ONCE LIKE A FOOT TALL AND WEARING A BLUE BEAR ONESIE???

she doesnt judge u for being a young mother!! I imagine she was too?? Reon is real respectful n I'll be damned if she isnt just as sweet

the coaches are already on your ass about toddler volleyball. they call up a couple friends and have already organized a group for teaching young Young YOUNG kids how to play despite ur son being. 3 months old.

the whole team is Maybe in love with your son

sorry. it's our son now. shiratorizawa owns ur kid :/

when shirabu is holding your boy. the whole team watches as semi get jealous????? over a kid that's NOT his???

hes petty and tells him that hes holding him wrong (hes not)

washijo is obsessed with ur baby. hes so proud of tendou. insisting that ur son being 'the size of a FAT volleyball' is a great sign for his skills in the court

the whole team. is offering money. they know u 2 are JUST out of highschool and with quarentine, are probably pretty low on cash??

BUT !! I 100% hc that tendou draws!! nd hes been doing a shit load of commissions for like. years LOL

n hes always saved that money!! he only spent it on shounen jump, which dont make too much of a dent in the money pile lol

besides he took emergency comms the second you guys found out ab the pregnancy

if you draw/write/do any work from home that's gets you money, then you do that too!!

he forces u to do less work than him tho because hes WORRIED AB U N THE BABY 🥺

but you guys appreciate the offers from your friends!!! Reon and Ushi's mom both volunteer to baby sit when you guys want a date night, thus ur child creating one hell of a friendship between the ex-captain and his vice's mothers 🥺

I'm not gonna go thru ALL the team members reactions

but they're all really happy!! ofc they scold tendou for not using protection and are MAJORLY GROSSED OUT KNOWING THAT THE TWO OF U HAVE INDEED HAD SEX

even tho the fact that satori is a Horny boy should be universal knowledge by now

the team is there for you guys while the baby grows up!! the second the kid can walk ushi is kneeling down and teaching him to spike

tendou is just as bad and insists that his son is a prodigy and should be a pro volleyball player already

LISTEN

TENDOUS SHIRATORIZAWA NUMBER??? HIS JERSEY

U GUYS GET A TINY VERSION OF THAT MADE

EVEN OF HE ISNT DOING VOLLEYBALL ANYMORE THIS MAN IS SO PROUD TO SEE HIS NUMBER ON HIS BOY 🥺🥺🥺👉🏻👈🏻

ur son is a mamas boy n it breaks tendous heart ngl

u make up for it by having a daughter a year or two down the line 😳 n shes OBSESSED with her dad it's cute but also BABY ur 4 please stop sleeping in mommy n daddies bed 🥺🥺🥺

also ur sons first words

oh boy

u can tell that the whole fuckin team has been teaching ur son volleyball stuff

u came home n ur son is sat in the living room SURROUNDED by ur (other) boys

ur (main) boy starts blubbing and bouncing at the sight of his mama 🥺 (or dada/other parent if ur an afab trans person!!!)

you tell off the team for tryna get ur baby into vball when hes barely 6months at this point

but before the boys all leave 🥺🥺 ur son grabs his favourite uncle semi and just goes

'sehtah!!!' (setter)

SEMI BREAKS DOWN CRYIBG LMAOOO

ngl tendou n u r kinda pissed that ur babies first words werent mama or dada. but then u see how happy semi is n u both just ���

semi is soft for your son and as the kid grows up hes still attached to him

he cant get away with being a brat though, boys got a whole mfing TEAM of dads/uncles PLUS grampy Washijo are ready to scold this boy

your son (and future daughter) are both SO loved though

theyve always got SOMEONE they know they can depend on

the team loves tendou and they love u, so OFC they ADORE any kids u guys have EVER.

they stay in contact with both of you even if you split up later on, they care enough about you guys that the y/n tendou powercouple is something every new generation of shiratorizawa volleyboys are taught about and introduced to

and YES ANON. WASHIJO DOES INSIST ON YOUR KID(S) GOIN SHIRATORIZAWA

they're guaranteed a spot!! they dont even have to work for it lmfaooo

mostly because coach threatens to leave the school and work with karasuno if they dont confirm them a place

it's an empty threat but it WORKS

the worldwide lockdown of 2020 is something you and tendou remember fondly forever 🥺

even if it was in bad circumstances the two of you made something so positive

this turned into general baby hcs with tendou MY BAD LOL IM IN LOVE WITH THIS MAN AND ALSO CONSTANTLY GOING THRU BABY FEVER

[k-17goose]

Goose watches the drip of water as it travels down twitching fingers, collecting at Morps wrist before it wets the cuff of the well-worn sweater.

Morps fingers are rubbing nervously at the ridges on his coffee cup. He wont meet Gooses eye. Morps posture holds a closely guarded secret, he hides himself in his own shadow.

"Morp?"

The man in front of him glances up for a moment, his teeth worrying a hole in his cheek as they sit in choking silence. Morp had asked him here, had arranged a meeting so they could "talk about something important".

What could be *this* important Goose wonders as he looks around. Theyre in a little secluded spot in Haven, a cafe of some sort. He supposes maybe Morp chose here instead of his home because of the proximity to Summer. Not to mention the numerous poppies he could ask for assistance if something were to go awry. Not that Goose expects anything to go sideways... but he'd be stupid not to realize that Morps picked an area where he has more allies than enemies.

Morp speaks again and Gooses attention darts back to him.

"I-i..." his cup is pulled a little closer as Morp thinks on his words and builds up precious courage. "I um i just..." the stumbling on his words makes a cold burn swell in Gooses gut.

"Bambi?" His head bobs down as he speaks, trying to catch Morps long gaze.

Morp flinches a little instead. "Can you..." Morp huffs in frustration at himself. "Maybe i should- this isnt the right- i cant do this." The younger of the two darts up from his seat and the table rattles and jerks up as a knee makes contact. He gives the Rick at the counter a pathetic look in apology and nearly rams himself into the wall as he tries to move away from the little corner they had sat in.

And Goose panics for a moment and grabs Morps wrist, his hold firm but not hard. Morp could easily pull away, but the gesture itself makes him pause and stare down at the conjoining of their limbs. Gooses long tan fingers are wrapped nearly double over around his delicate wrist and Morp watches as if in trance as a drip of water moves down his arm and is swept away easily by Gooses thumb.

Goose is lightly tracing his thumb over the pulse point in Morps wrist, feeling the little fluttery echo of Morps pounding heart.

Goose cant seem to bring any of his raging and roaring thoughts into his mouth and sits dumb and silent as he looks up at Morp, Morp who's drowning in the dark honeyed amber of Gooses eyes. Morp closes his own sickly blue eyes, dulled with panic, and feels the tremble of his own body rattling him around.

"I need... i need you to..."

"Anything Bambi. I'll do anything. Just... let me be here for you, please." He pleads, his eyes nearly watering with the force and frustration he puts behind his words, with a small shake of Morps hand. Morp is staring down at Goose like he cant comprehend the noises coming from his mouth. The young man—still only just a man— looks away as if thinking before he slowly slides back into the seat.

"G-Goose. I need you to just listen to me. I need you to h-hear me and not-not ask anything or say anything until im done. I have to-i need to do this in one go. If i stop i wont be able to keep going." Goose falters silently but drags his thumb against the knuckle of Morps pointer finger thoughtfully. He doesnt get much time to even take it all in before Morp is starting again but in a quick almost too fast to hear pace.

"I need- i need you to give me control of this ive never had control of this i didnt even get to find out on my own terms and and..."

Goose interupts Morps mad rambling quickly "Hey, hey. It's okay."

"ITS NOT THOUGH!" Morp stops and stares down at the table with wide unfocused eyes, his lip is trembling and his chin curled in as he fights his emotions. Morp flashes an apologetic glance to the barista. "Its not okay." He shakes his head, trying to shake the panic out of himself but the movement only makes him dizzy.

And Goose isnt sure what to say, what to offer Morp here and now. If things arent okay what does he say? Im sorry? Im sorry doesnt do much of anything, especially not anything that could help ease the pain Morp is in.

Goose clasps Morps warm little hand in his two large tan ones— Morps fingers are so soft against his palm, He thinks— and dips his head to meet Morps frantic eyes and lead them back up to a more confident height. "Do you trust me? Even a single little bit?"

Morps mouth screws up all funny as grows suspicious of what Goose is after. "Yeah?" Goose heres the question but ignores it for a moment.

"You trust me, so what are you scared is gonna happen when you tell me whatever it is you want to tell me?"

Morp closes off immediately, his shoulders hitching and his hand jerked back from Gooses warm palms. Goose lets him go as if he hadnt even been holding him.

"It-it's too much." Morp winces and cringes and shrivels into himself.

"Then take it one piece at a time. Take it slow. Im right here Bambi, we got all the time you need."

"You'll... "And Morps voice is so small. So small and pained. "It'll change how you see and think of me. You wont want to be around me anymore." He stops and grounds his teeth hard as he stops himself from saying too much more.

"Bambi, i doubt there's anything that could make me think less of you."

Morps eyes turn soft, delicate lashes brushing against his cheeks, hope filling the shadows of his face. Morp picks the skin around his nails and looks away for a moment, collecting his thoughts.

"Really?"

"Of course."

Morp looks at him with wide swimming eyes, judging him and his words in as kind a way as Goose supposes one can be judged. Whatever Morp sees seems to convince him as he looks back down to his hands and his sad reflection in the murky water of his tea.

"Okay."

[heizerux]

About Stormy Weather 2

Let’s cut to the chase. This was a filler/recap episode.

Is it disappointing? Yes 😞

They did my girl Aurore wrong with the episode title and not even giving her the attention she deserves. And about nothing new happened. Chloe still hasn’t learned to actually be better. There’s more. But those are about a few things that REALLY got to me (to be brief).

Is it bad that they even have this episode? Not exactly. It just wasn’t done well.

Now that I’ve briefly got out of my system on why I was disappointed, now let’s look at the details and minor brightsides of it (I guess?) and more on why I’m disappointed.

.

This was an episode to establish the questions we’ve had. (Honestly did we even need these? Actually, not really. But it’s nice they even bothered.) Some of these questions are:

How’s Aurore?

Is Chloe really fully changed?

How does Nathalie REALLY feel? Like with her own words? How LONG has she been with the Agrestes? And will Gabriel keep this shit up?

How’s the dynamic between Ladybug and Chat Noir now since they’ve been fighting for a while?

How’s everyone else (Alya and Nino specifically) doing?

Will Marinette ever tell Adrien that she’s interested in him?

Will Adrien pick up on that???

Pretty much here’s how they answered these, as well as what I took from these answers:

How’s Aurore? Naturally I’m gonna open up with Aurore here since this was supposed to be HER episode again. We see her being bullied by Chloe and then she get it’s gets to her. THAT’S how Aurore is doing. The only few things I liked about her here is learning she and Marinette are friends. But that’s IT. This could have been HER moment. HER episode again. We could of known more about HER. Instead what do we get? Just like 3 minutes tops of her and boom. Defeated, and not even checked up on. I know she’s a side misc character but damnit *slaps table*. . . We really were cheated with her comeback. This wasn’t her episode and it shouldn’t have been titled “Stormy Weather 2”. I’m sad about this.

Is Chloe really fully changed? Nope. So I knew her development wasn’t even started yet (as we’ve seen), but like damn. We see how being hero twice has gotten to her head. It’s disappointing, it really is. The only “bright side” is that at least they’re establishing here that she clearly still has changing to do instead of saying she’s fully changed, which she isn’t. Probably even alluding to what we’re gonna see next with her. Obviously by that last glare, Marinette (as Ladybug) isn’t giving into her shit anymore. (That or she’s disappointed in how Chloe doubled back too.)

How does Nathalie REALLY feel? And so we see. She, as expected, hates her fucking job because it’s too demanding, but LOVES the Agreste family. We now, with her own words, which are rare, learn just how long she’s been with them, her feelings for the family, and that she canonically cared for Emilie and has now fallen for Gabriel. She’s also still sick from Heroes Day (so they didn’t forget that’s a thing, thankfully). Which now only implies that from this point forward, she’ll be Mayura more often, and get even sicker (a life for a life, anyone?)

How’s everyone else doing? That Ninalya (Djwifi) content. . . My heart! 💕💖💕💖😭💖💕💖💕 So they show us Nino is pretty much now a Césaire (lol), and that they both do talk about their hero duties when they’re alone. The good in seeing this? They can actually keep it a secret from the public and this shows their hero potential (unlike Chloe). The bad about it? It’s their disadvantage (as we already know.) Now what we didn’t need is all that recap footage. (That time slot could have been used for my bby Aurore 💜💙💜)

How’s the dynamic between Ladybug and Chat Noir now since they’ve been fighting for a while? Well :) (Filler aside) We see that Ladybug is A LOT more fonder of Chat Noir than before. This time she’s loosening up her humor during battle when she used to be all “stop joking! This is serious!” Then they go on to recap on shit that we already know like that they trust each other and *yawn*. But one thing I did notice, and like about this, is that look she gives him as he runs off.

It’s almost a look of that says “I’m starting to view you as more than a partner. . .” (Will they show it in the following episodes. Boy do I hope.)

Will Marinette ever tell Adrien that she’s interested in him? Okay so not only does she drop off Adrien’s homework, but you notice something? Not only did she volunteer, but she didn’t fluster while doing so. When she delivers it, she’s not panicked about it, instead she’s just nervous about talking to Nathalie and disappointed she couldn’t give it to him in person. Then what happens next? She FINALLY takes Kagami’s advice and does something. Once she’s done, she’s not regretful and doubtful about it anymore when she used to be. Sure, we went over shit that marks she “changed”, but it’s really around this part in the episode that she ACTUALLY changes. From here she’s a new confident Marinette, pretty much. The recap was still unecessary.

Will Adrien pick up on that??? *sigh* no lol.

Okay, real quick, BIG APPRECIATION for Plagg’s “Oh shit” face when he sees Adrien notices the handwriting.

So into Adrien and his love life, we see that his head is too in the clouds to fully notice the amazing girl that is MARINETTE. I will say I love that Plagg keeps trying to steer him in the direction to LOOK AT MARINETTE. (Mentioning how Gabriel wasn’t mad Adrien was with her when he snuck out and hinting that she’s VERY available more than once.) When he finally notices the handwriting, he’s SO close to putting it together. Plagg for a sec is shook about it (since it hints he’s closer to piecing she’s LB), but then he re-tracts because he’s a clueless child and now is left on the conclusion that it’s not her. Okay -_-

So now that that’s done, let me just add on why I think that last part where he retracts marks something.

.

Anyone find it odd that the episode ended specifically with Adrien noting that “Marinette couldn’t have written the letter (can’t be in love with me) because she’s just a friend that’s into fashion. Besides there’s Luka.”

Luka. . .

. . .

You guys hear that?

Right as soon as he says that, sad music plays. Like he “lost” something.

Then Adrien as if slightly disappointed, insists it was probably “someone else”. . . Because there’s Luka. . .

And then the episode ends.

(My own thought: I think this is here to mark off that not only Luka is coming more into play, but maybe that it’ll affect Adrien more than he thinks? It may be that his change to come is that he stops looking “up in the clouds” and starts looking in front of him.)

.

haaaaaAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!

.

And that’s about one of the few things that got me in this episode (among Nino and Alya and Mari getting confident for once). Because it means shits gonna get interesting among the ships👀. . . *sips tea*

.

I’d touch the development issue but after carefully going over the fact that both season 2 and 3 were written around the same time, I do have a hunch stuff is kind of out of order there. But that’s a topic for another day. (Probably one I’ll rethink and retouch fully after this season is done.) So let’s get back to the real question:

So wtf was this episode?

.

Well, this is just my take, but judging by the brief glances at Stormy Weather 2’s LEVEL of power, it’s there to set what we’re gonna be seeing from the episodes forward. If this looks intense, then we haven’t seen intense, yet (ya feel?)

.

For certain ppl (I’m one of these ppl) Stormy Weather from S1 was THE pilot episode to the whole show and the first episode seen. It set up what we were going to be seeing of the show. So if there had to be an explanation, my take is that’s why they picked her again to mark off a recap and brand new starting point for what’s to come.

.

TLDR: This episode probably wasn’t just meant to show what’s changed, but to mark of what WILL change moving forward.

.

It’s not perfect, I’m still not happy with how it was delivered, but that’s probably what they were going for.

.

They probably should of just called it “The Story So Far” or something, honestly. Not Stormy Weather 2. Aurore did amazing. Her screentime didn’t :( But in the end, it’s probably there to mark the start of real change.

.

Since that’s maybe the deal, then changes we may see here moving forward and so on are:

.

It’s probably gonna mark Marinette as being comfortable around Adrien and no longer hesitating as much as she did, but of course Luka will be more in her life (and Adrien may or may not realize he isn’t as okay with it?? That’s just what I wanna see honestly lol). Chloe will probably realize that she can’t keep expecting to be handed a miraculous just because she says so, which then could mark her to ACTUALLY start changing. And so on.

.

Anyway we’ll see what the next episodes bring. I noticed they’ve only been showing us the uneventful episode first and leaving the more “juicy” ones for later dates. . .

As long as this is, I actually kind of rushed through it so my apologies if it’s all over the place :(

[ecotone99]

[UR] Bam margera fan fiction

January 2nd. 3AM. South Philly.

"Shit," Bam thinks to himself. "How long have i been up? 3 days? 4?" He doesnt even know anymore. Hed been out with Marco since the 28th. The night started simple enough. He stopped by Marcos place to buy a few ounces of coke, trying to gather evidence. Build a case. Next thing you know hes ringing in the New Year in the VIP room of some strip club. Bottles and blow being passed around like they were at a god damn pot luck dinner.

He'd been working Marco for 6 months.Introduced to him by some lowlife who went by the name of "Chevy Joe". He'd popped him driving out of the hood after he just picked up. "Its simple" Bam told him. "Introduce us to your dealer and you walk away" Of course he cooperated. Poor bastard nearly pissed himself at the thought of going to jail.

It started off small. Just an 8 ball every weekend. Then eventually 2. Then 3. Now hes buying ounces. Soon however they'll make their move. Grab Marco and get him to flip on his guy up the ladder. Shitbirds like Marco are a dime a dozen. Midlevel idiots who got lucky and have been able to stay out of jail and the funeral home long enough to have a somewhat successful criminal career.

"Hey, Don Vito. You okay? You aint said a word in damn near an hour" Marco yells from across the room. "Good man, its this god damn blow" Bam says. Marco and his goons roar in laughter at this.

Don Vito was his undercover name. A tribute to his late uncle who died of a heart attack in the bathroom of a shithole bar back home in West Chester after a weekend of binging on coke and alcohol. Bam figured it was a way for Uncle Don to help other people from suffering the same fate he did.

Nowadays he prefers to avoid thinking about West Chester. Too many bad memories. Too many foolish mistakes. Mistakes of youth. Of ignorance.

"Alright guys, im gonna take off" he tells them. They laugh, they call him a pussy. All in good fun though. They exchange back slaps and handshakes and Bams on his way home.

He wakes to someone pounding on his front door. He ignores it, goes back to sleep. Next thing he hears keys jingling and the door opening. "Rise and shine, gorgeous. We got work to do" Its none other than Ryan Dunn. His partner for 12 years, his best friend for even longer. They joined the force together out of high school. They both wanted the same thing. Something they couldnt get in West Chester. Excitement. They talked about joining the West Chester PD but the thought of busting kids for skateboarding and jumping out of shopping carts in parking lots just didnt do it for them. So they packed up and headed to Philly to join the force there and neither has regretted it since. The only regret Bam has is that he cant bring himself to tell Ryan his true feelings for him. Terrified if he does he might freak Ryan out and push him away forever. So he doesnt say a word about it. He'd rather suffer in silence wondering what if then risk telling him and being rejected and losing his best friend, his partner.

"Todays the day. Judge signed off on the arrest warrant. We move on them in 2 hours." Ryan tell him. "So, whats the plan?" Bam asks. "Easy, man. Hit them hard, hit them fast, they'll never see it coming"

Bam cant help but wish Ryan was talking about doing that to him but he quickly pushes the thought out. "Sounds like a plan. Let me gear up"

Two hours later and theyre walking up to the front door of Marcos apartment. Plan is simple. Bam and Ryan go in first, tac squad to follow.

They blow the front door off its hinges and storm in. Soon as they step into the front room bullets start flying. "Down!" Ryan yells. They jump behind the couch as bullets are zipping over their heads. SWAT team comes in behind and starts firing. Marco and his 3 buddies drop instantly. Bullet wounds in their chests and faces. They never even saw it coming.

"All clear!" the SWAT team yells. "Alright, bro. We're all good." Bam says to Ryan looking over. "Ryan!" Ryan is laying slumped over, spitting up blood, gun shot would to his lower abdomen. "Fuck, they got me, bro" Ryan says. "NO NO NO" Bam cries. "Dont you fucking die on me!" "I NEED A MEDIC!" "Dont die on me, man. Dont die. I need you" Bam sobs. "Its okay, partner. Its gonna be okay." Ryan tells him. "I love you, man. Ive always loved you. Ive always wanted to be with you." Ryan confesses in his dying breath.

"NOOOOOOOOO!" Bam cries as he puts his pistol in his mouth and pulls the trigger. His last thoughts are that if he couldnt be with him in life at least he'll be able to spend eternity with him in death.

submitted by /u/creedncebngwtrrevivl [link] [comments] via Blogger https://ift.tt/2V02e6g

[lostinathoughtonceagain]

Im not sure where to start although i feel like i alwyas start with that.My mom says i seem to be doing  alot better and inn truth i am. I feel more myself and joyous and mre personality, and than theres still an emptiness that creeps in. The sort of weird shame feeling i used to get in mornings or without a shirt on, i got it today after grabbing clothes from my moms. maybe this is just a personal issue but im trying not to isolate myself in my emotions. TI appreicate and find it hard to understand the idea of common humanity. It is true humans all epereince these emotions and it is only to ones disadvantage when we tell ourselves were the only ones who have ever felt these emotions. In truth we are the only ones who experience things given we all have different perspectives, childhoods, personalities, and biology of our brains.. yet i think that an important to try to find the common humanity. empathy, relating to one another. we are more alike than we are different. YOu know when your on the freeway and you wonder where are all these people going. Myabe some are picking up there kids, going to a booty call, stopping to grab bananas at the store, and we wont ever know, everyone is all doing there own thing, eveyone is jsut driving just going to work doing things and im wo dering if anyone else is freaked out about what is happening. Why the hell are we here?n why iseveryone not freaking out with the little time we have, i want to make the most out of what is happeing i dont want to waste any more time not being  where i want to be, i wanted to be skinny so i can go on with my life. But i geuess thats alos the point of life. ive been so worried about living that i havnt actually been living. Im failing at an attempt to handle my shit. I look back on the past and how come i can only think, mostly think of the bad things. The relationships that i shouldve ended sooner cuz i didnt really lvoe them as i thought love would be. THey were all merely a disspointment. That sounds rude but to put it this way i alwyas thought there was something better for me. MY parents used to say at times “its never enough for you katie” maybe that is true. maybe im never satisidef. Maybe it was because they were tired and had tried there best and i failed because my needs wernt meant. not that they were needs. I think back to guys ive hooked up with and wish i had higher standards. why did i find satisfaction in attention from people that didnt even care about me. WHen guys used me and i was glad to let them. Especailly when i had previous ly had crsushes on them. FUCK BOYS WITH J names. i dont know why im writing as if im writing a story. maybe it makes it easier maybeim trying to articulate my thoughts into something there not. I think about things that have happened and hope i can maybe use them as a testimony maybe ill meet the love of my life adn get to share all these stories... but i dont things play out like that and thats a weird perspective to have on things thsat occur. Like as if im a narrator. I would get so ecited to send cute pictures of myself when i was  baby and show my boyfriends, or share things with them but then i realized something. they dont care, well definlty not like me. That ecitement about it is not the same as the one im epereiecning and when i was sent baby pictures of them, i didnt feel that warmth in my heart. maybe that makes me a bitch or emotionally disconnected. but how do i know if im feelin. what connections have i made. I used to want to be under the influence and gina my therapist said that people go to substances to feel connection. When i was on coke, life was beautiful i could talk to anyoe and everyone adn words flowed so well. In my head, looking back i probably looked like a crack head and thats the reality of it. I can manipulate my reality but to what is its value if its a lie. if no one else feels or sees what im seeing. ona  nother thought  i think we can make up these sotries in our heads that arnt even true. like somone tells us something or we feel a certain way about ourself so and it ends upso our whole olives our affected by this painting in our head only to find out no one sees what were seeing. my dad said that we can change the past, welll we can change our past by changing how we look at it. and i think if we could grasp it it would change our lives. I think that i could look back and not feel that shame, or not feel that embarressment. But am i not a sum of all the words thoughts and actions ive done or had uot o this point? thats depressing, but if it were something i was proud of then yes i would like to be. but the truth is all wehave is the now and you can start now being a totally different person, but you cant run away from all the consequences of the past i guess they jsut dont matter if you decide to change. but then what about bridges burned. i guess my plan b ina  sense is to run away to another country. but then theres legal issues and this whole system and ates and bad guys and tso m8uch to worry about that i dont feela  sense of freedom. my information is online and under a sytem and i undertsadn why i just wish everything could be quiet for sa sec. mayeb i dont want to be aktie stowers anymore. I get jealos of girls born and raised pretyy. all ive done is starved myself in the process of becoming what i want to be but thats not even me. if i have to starve to et there then i feel as though i dont actuallyl deserve to be skinny. and i fee l so vain for obsessing over this fucking thought. iw anted to be skinny this is what ive said from the beginging can someoine please help me do it. the probelm is that im in treatment for anoreica sub purge type and the reality is that i cant lose weight withought going to etreme measures. it became the most important thing in my life and ive been strung up on the same thought since fucking march of 2018. talk about time wasted. although i know thats no way of looking at it. ive learned lessons and have ad so many beautiufl things happpen. I get told very kind things about myself. i wonder if im actually a kind person or i only do things simply to be a kind person. if eel kinda selfish but i guess we all are. i mean think about how amny bad things are happening in this world and children starving and here i am buying things i dont need anf focuing on myself. but im not doing anything about it. i mean i try to tip etra give to homless ifi can i just feel guilt because i could be doing more but ijalso know that im not responsibly to save the world. jsut seems wrong the way things are. thats why i believe everyone goes to heaven. maybe because i cant wrap my head around the possily fact that barrett wouldnt and also becasue the idea of eternal damnation dosnt seem like the character of a god i want to serve. i see so much bullshit in the church and i just dont know . am i jsut angry. I became so jdugemntal of those judging me and thats just as worse but when theres almost a cluba nd you dont fit into there critera it fucking hutts. and that dosnt feel liek jesus i think jesus wouldnt let us be seperated by rleigion or if you drank last weekend. I think we should all unite and love each other and thats what reallly matters. yet here i am obsessed over being skinny. im down to 4 hour as of yesterday and i feel so much better i do. i just wish i could have one long 2 day therapy session whre i fucking figure out all my shit. ive gone to so much therapy and its been etremly helpful i jsut dont wanna waste anymore time with this baggage. I dont wanna go a minute longer when i could giure all this out. i guess what im saying is i want my life tp be an open canvas and not be unravveling and my childhood issues poopping up.. i want to go into the fututre knowing what i know adn epeireicning my life as it plays out. but i am 18 ishouldnt be thinking this much into things huh i should just let it be and lvie my life. i should be doung homework an teting my frienfds or going on a date. but thats not ther eality of things and alos i think ill look abck and things will be different. IOm also int reatment rn so oviously my situation is not exactly normal. i really do love to write i used to always want to be an author. but i dont kno0w anymore. i jsut dont really like how the sytem works i hate how we all have to go to college amd study things i dont give a fuck about and then some struggle at there 9-5 to merely surve eand ig uess i dont like the thoughr of that. and i know were suppsoed to find joys in the little things i think things are jsut freaking me out. iw ant to quit smoking nicatine but everyday i go out and do it. ig uess that meanns i dont really want to stop because if i did i would. i  and then i feel slightly guilty and opackiy because his is the only boduy im given. like does that not freak everyone out. this is the only way we are able to eperience life. think about how quickly it can be ended. i think that is too much pwier overmyself. nmot that im suicidal but i do think i hgave the power to find out super son what is after this life. judgment day, pure nothingness, maybe ill become a=one of the many ants i ahev enjoyed killed as a punsihemtn for msyelf. or hoe[fully and maybe ill entire a heaven with a lovuing god. a state of being with loved ones. I think thats why people like the idea of heavn the idea that you will see people later. but that discount the factof pain. when someones child dies they dont feel any less pain because a verse about being reunited with the,. because the truht im scared to tyee is that theres a possibility heaven isnt rela. and the loved one that is lost will never be in your reaach again.i feel sad for how ome peoples lifeves go. i hope they get a chance in the after life to have what they wanted. but then i think abotu abd guys. i wouldnt want them in my heaven. i guess maybe who we all our at our core is who would be in heaven beyond all the nasty. yet i dont believ flesh is nasty and i dont believ trying my whole life to not be something i was made to be. if my flesh is evil adn mankind is doomed what the fuck is that. i dont think god would set us upnto fail and i believ ehe understands we are human. and gpd is god and god knew everything that was going to happen up to npw. u know whats crazy is that on the time line we are on the edge of what is to come. being aluive rn. and its crazy that i wont be here in 100 years. ill be merely history. but rn we are whats happneing 7:12 november 11th. we are up to datebecause we are merely aliver. unless there is different universes and this is m,erely a simulation. but besides the point. barrett was talking about just how many books songs and information there is. that makes me pancik there is so many people so many things i could learn and musici could listen to that no one can listen to it all. maybe theresa song out there that is my favorite son that ill never get to lsiten to but i gues si jsut have to trust that the universe ligns up as it should and my life will happen as it should. and alll these things are happneing and were floating in the middle of space and yet i feel like people arnt freaking out. like what hthe actual fuck is happneing. and why do iu want to soedn my one life doing shit that dosn matter or something i dont even love. but thats how life works because you have to have moneya nd i do love bying things. and i jsut need to relax. because when people look back on there past they think if i could only tell msyelf its going to be okaya nd to have fun. why cant i do taht i mean i can but tehn these thughts come in. iwant to be skinny i also love food. starving was easy and i like d seeing my bones show,. i wanted people to see me and know i was hurting but people dont wanna be sround sa dpeople i guess i just wanted o be rescued. and at the same time it was nice to focus on the thingsd because even if all went ot hell if i restricted enought hat was okay my eating idsorder would tell me that  everything was going to be okay because i was taking care of the one thing i actaully wanted. writing this makes me sound crazy to msyelf. i have so many things i want to larn and do and so having an eating disorder makes me feel limated. amd truly it does limit me. it dosnt allow me to worry and think about these tihngs. i just really want to be skinnya dn i dont know where this started or why its so impiortant but i just am not a fann of my boyd. and i know tis terirble because im more than m y body and i know i cant stave mtyself and i know that this makes me self cenetred i know that it didnt pkay out as the damsel in distress that i wanted i know wthat i pushed loved ones away and made desisions taht really arnt alligned with my values because truly i didnt care i just wanted to get skinny i know i didnt look healthy bu in my mind that s the best ive eever looked. i know that the husband i meet is going to lvoe me for whats beond my appreance so it dosnt matter and getting atention from others isnt satisying and only leaves me feeling empty i knwo lifes to short to count your calories, to walk around feeling fraila nd loung every seconds. to reach 109 and not see a body close to what was at 116. to talk about numbers because they w]makr improtant parts of my life adn to allso swear that i dont care that much about the numbers. i care about the look. but if what they say is true and i ahve body dismprhia thats impossible. they say the eating idpsrder says itll never be enough. it will nevr be satisiuded. “ its never enough katie” never enough

and so maybe its me maybe im just this warped person. why do memories come back so weird and hwy did i have su h weird thoughts a s f\child. why do i get filled with so much rage. somtiems i think im the most grogeous girl and others i want to killmsyelf because i fel worthless. imm not suicdial but i can remeberthe first time i thought about killing kmyself i was in the abck seat of the car my brothers wre all teasing me about soething but for whatecer reason i was upset by it. i remebr crying and thinking how bad thye would feel if i killed myself. i carried this idealation iwht me later on. gina says i used this as a coping skill.w whenevr someone was mean, didnt say the right thing, didnt invite me, or a aprent said something hurtful. o thouhgt about it as if i were a ghost. watching how sad they were that they had not done better with me. that they said those angry words last to me instead of teeling me uhow much they lvoed me. that when they gossiped ghey felt so bad after because i was dead. i sometimes wish i could watch this unfold. but thats demented and evil. my ghost smiling with satifdaction as she watches loved one who id love and people who were simply lvingnthere life be affected by this. what good would it do to me or them. it would ruin them, does thaa amke mf evil. and then i realzie thats not how death wokrs. ill go to  wahtevr is after this.a dm why would i waste my eistence on a disguestingnromantizsm of revenge.  shpuld move on better msyelf and make connections and share with my lovedones hwen theyve hurt me or that i need more love.  i love treamnt. i love the lif3 im having. besids hating my body i love doing art and larning life skills and if eel like pooeple love me for me there and i can really be myself and support others. but i cant live my life in treatment. i want to relapse theres a few pros to this. one i get skinny againa dn can take pcitures while im skinnya dn try to do it a healthier way. 2 i can jsut go back to treatment and 3 thats a big fuck you to insuracne and theyll realize i coudlve used more help. my ancupucture lady said i need to let people help me adn its tru. i can read boooks hae copnversations go toa therapist but what goofd does it do if its not evn sticking with me. if i dont allow it to change me. im so stuck in that i want to be skinny. but im also tired of haojng my body, the thought about being okay iwht my body is sad to. ill jsut be ugly and not care? amd i wont be ablr to beas beautiful as i want to be. the law of attraction streases me out to because what if everytihng im writing is manif3sting as we speak. hut io cant just iugnore all thse thoughts. its good to journl ane write. i smoked the other night and told susan and brooke but lied to my treatment team. but honestly i was anxious the whole time and outside of playing with myself and dougna  trippy spiritaul mediaiton itwasnt the best time. it ,made me realize i enjoy beig sober bcecause i can do lall the things i want to do and not be stupid and i can be mindful. but then i feel a little desperate at the idea of not having anys ubstances. i sjsut need to create a good ralit y formyself. also i just don tfeel like im the little blon girl in my baby photos like me and her arnt \even the same person but i am i am her in 18 year old form. i jsut dont even know who i am or whats happening. iw ant to chilla dn i need to find balance. maybe this is because my brain has more room oto think about thoings. it kinda hurts me that my mom dsont know that much about eating disorders but yet she says she knows how bad these thionhd can get. likes he can talk so much about me needing help and this and that and yet she hasnt veen taken the tiem to udnerstand what it is im goi g throug. but i shoudlnt epect her to i dont evn knkw what is happneing. cons of relasping is more time wwasting life farther form my hoal. what is my goal all i can think abou t is working on my body bye cercising and eating healthy after treatment. iu dont underdstand why people dopnt think this is a huge thing for me. it makes it so i cant wear what. im so tired of caring. i want to get out of my head. but reality is i am katie and i have to deal wiht whats going on it dosnt do any good whining about it. another con is that my family would be disapinted. im kinda scared i ahev cancer ir im going ot die and jus stop breatinh. its probaly jsut anxiety . nbut i think about the drugs ive done and all that ive smoked and when ive starved and i wonder if im jsut shutting gdown. but i guess were all shutting down. but you cant tell kids these tihngs they dont care and they wouldnt undertsnad. i guess im jsut freaking out at my very eistence. im also very thankful to ebe alive. the fact were all ehsiting rn is crazy i think everything happens for a reason and theres a beautiful lessona nd “work of art called love” desinged by the creator. i ksut dpnt think itds what people think its actaully is. julian is just dsigusing why was i ever ino him. but i cant stop 16 year old me by being into him. but he really wasa dick adn oi dont think hes aw the value in me. my idea of him thinking that was because hesa  lot uglier than me or the line in fredys song where he says “ why would a girl like you fall for a guy like me” and he saud thatr eminded him of us i thought that was so sweet. MO that dosnt mean he values me. why was i so okay with accepting bullshit.a nd nathan. i really liked nathan we were bestfriends. but i got really cazy jealous. i was supposed to eat2 and ahalf hours ago and im not rally hungry. hence my hunger ques are off. i lost 4 lbs over the weekedn and im on weight restoration i was given till friday before i have tonadd even more additions because im not supposed to be lsoing weight. but i dint feel sad baout it. i felt eciteed i guess my bodys ina  place where it can lsoe weight easily. i feel like i should take advantage of it. is this litterally the eating disorder tuyping as we speak am i poseed. it is katie stowers. i guess thats what an eating idorder does. i think i ought to steer clear of caffense and weed. make things a little less harde.r and truly i shuld try to quit nicatine. ots just so nice to do but i think i ought to just not do it. i think idts a porblem because i can already mpciture me going outside after break and smoking. “evntually ill quit shes aid” when i quoted julien baker in her song ahppy to be hee to esther it says “ i miss you the way that i miss nicatine” she waled away after. felt a little judged honeslt and i dont think it was cuz of me but i am better than to smoke nicatine. i think im gonna not do it tomorow. adn if i succeed well see about friday. but it is a hbit i shoudl break. but anyways theres a lot to worry about and be ecited about to and im having a hard time manging it all. and i opuld go on times ten of whats been happneing in my brain ina  therap y session but it dosnt happne.

[marcellaisnotme]

to everyone.

to all the amazing people that light up my 2019, let's continue our journey to 2020. 2019 has been pretty amazing to me than last year and i'm rather excited for what's going to come on 2020. its a bit frightening but at the same time i'm ready to face it.

i'm dedicating each of you who got this page a personal message <3

let me start it with my loving Ren ♡ we met not that long ago but long enough for me to call you a special friend. i love hanging out with you, i love ranting everything to you cause you're a really good listener, advisor and most importantly a really great sidekick. okno. you know what to say to make me feel better and i admire that you can think of so much in a short amount of time. the way you handle everything is very responsible and careful, i look up to you alot. let's be more closer and share more stupid shitposts (RED VELVET PLSSS). i love you!!

Jason ♡ we known each other for a very long time but we always been pretty close to each other, but sometimes we don't talk and we argue that one time. and you went missing too but when you came back i was really excited. you were really funny and entertaining. just what i need, just what i wanted. we have a love hate relationship and we never get tired of each other and buuuu-ing each other everytime. okno. you are special to me and i cant find another jason to replace. thanks for being such a great friend. i love you!!

Juan ♡ my favorite movie partner and cuddle buddy <3 the one that would always tell stupid jokes which myself find it really funny even when it's pretty dumb. the one who never get tired of me punching you in the arm. okno. i wanna spend more time watching movies with you cause i personally hate watching movies cause i'm a book person. but when i watch it with you and hear you explaining to me everything made me love movies. pstt. only when i watch it with you <3 HAHAHA let's do more movie dates next time juan, because movies are not watch worthy without you. okno. i love you!!!

bwi ♡ as much as i find you pretty annoying and such a coward but i really know how it takes courage to do something. i know how does it feel when you feel like doing something. but it's find. i dont judge you for it ok? i was just messing around with you cause your reaction is always funny i dont wanna miss it. OKNO. if you havent moved on completely, it's fine. it takes time to heal and takes time to grow. i hope you have a better life and be happy in 2020. i love you!!

Belle ♡ SINCE YOU'RE A GIRL NOW IMMA CALL YOU BELLE. okno you were a guy when we first met and first dated. okno. i can't believe we made it till today even when we dont talk that much these days. i just want you to know even when i'm very very very annoying and stoopid but i am really thankful that you were always there listening to my probs and teas :(( i'm so dramatic. wipes non existent tears. okno. be less busy so that i can kacau you more :(( i love you!!

Kitty Kou ♡ my wife :(( my husband soulmate boyfriend girlfriend my everything :(( screams i miss you so much we're not talking much this days are you THAT busy gimme attention bich :(( okno. i'm glad that you are fine now (i can see and feel it) also i dont want you to be sad no more cause you dont deserve to be :(( i'll karate anyone that tries to mess with you i swear >:( i love you soooo much you're my fav bestie ever you listen to me and play along with me cause thats what soulmates do :(( dont ever leave my side or i'm gonna tie u to me so that you wont escape HAH take that :(( i love you bb♡

Qhal ♡ you stick up to me since day-1 and thats what i love about you. you grew into a better person, you were so much braver and bolder plus happier these days and i've never been so proud of you. i hope your happiness last till next year and the following and forever. every day is a new day. you dont have to close old books and open new ones. you dont have to be someone you're not and importantly, you dont have to do things for anyone else. yourself is your top priority and always remember that you're just as important. seeing you happy makes me happy. we've been friends for god knows how long and you never left my side, ever. you're always a special friend to me. you're always in my heart. i love you!!

Irwin ♡ not gonna deny you're always there for me when i'm in an existential crisis. okno. you're such a fun and funny person to talk with. i always enjoyed talking to you because you could make and awkward situation lively with your randomness. you radiate great and positive energy that anyone around you feel better. you make me feel better when i'm sad. i hope you and jade last looooooooooong enough just like how long we've known each other. i love you!!

Tian ♡ i love talking to you and randomly being stupid with you and jason. i love how we click with each other that much it's like we're siblings. rough things happened but let's all forget about it. i hope for you happiness as you were always sad about a certain someone. it's fine to think about it. it's fine to hold onto it. cause the longer you hold on, the easier it will go away when it gets old. you should really reveal your cute daughter to everyone. cause i miss her and everyone needs to see her <3 she's amazing just like you. i love you!!

Cosmo ♡ as long as we known each other, you were the brightest person and the easiest to get along with. you always know what to do and put your heart in everything you do. i dont like seeing you being sad or depressed anymore because you weren't like that when we first met. always surround yourself with happy stuff >> me. and do things you wanna do that makes you happy. you will always be my cosmo, and i'll always be your wanda♡. i love you!!

Junguan ♡ hi bestie how u doin. okno. i am glad that you're always happy, always problem free. thanks for listening to my problems, thanks for being a great friend. i have a great laugh and a great time with you always. your reaction to my stupidness and sarcasm was always funny i'm not gonna lie. you're always the one that i believe would keep everything i tell you a secret. you're such an awesome person and a great friend. i love you !!

Xie/ Axel ♡ you're a really interesting person to talk to. aside from our past relationship. you're a really strong and a great person. you're someone that doesn't give up on anything you do and i really adore you for that. you make everything seem so funny to me idk why oKNO. but except for our snapstreak, we dont really talk mUCH. did you moveD or are you just busY cause u krik krik im thinking twice about softblocking you. okno. talk to me bitch. i love you!!

marcell/shaq ♡ you change your name to match mine cause you like me eh?? buuu. okno. you were always someone i trusted because you're responsible of doing your job and you're someone nice to talk to i mean not nice nice because you're mean but nice by i can have a conversation with you and talk about random stuff without letting it die because i'm funny and you're lame okno. let other judge your outer and let yourself know your inner. jangan jadi noob for 2020. okno. i love you!!

Eric ♡ my stupid bun. my ride or die. ew. these two years 18/19 has been pretty rough for the both of us and i think it's just a step and a lesson to grow into a better person. you helped me alot through this year and i'm never less thankful for that. the loving things you do for me, the things you would let it slide when it comes to me. your soft spot for me never goes away huh HAH and i'm taking advantage of that. okno i'm kidding. you are a big help for me and for what i went through. you never said no. you always agree on everything and i really appreciate it. when we broke up last year, you still insisted to talk to me. which i find out really annoying. just kidding. i'll let everything slide since you do that to me too. you're a really great person, amazing let me tell you. thanks for being a great friend to me. thanks for helping me out with almost everything. i owe you big time. i love you!!

harry ♡ first of all,  thank you for being a great bestie, we would always talk to each other everyday but you got busy these days :(( but yey, its almost a decade since ive known you, kyak. we met when we were in kbb. you were d__, kyak, smpipol 💕 i feel so giddy giddy all of a sudden lololol. and then we started exchanging contacts, you were first harry, on fl.  and then we had this, nOOt squad gTG. im nunmul-ing.  why is this suddenly a throwback session.  and and and then theres trisha gosh i love trisha and you too. i adore you for being such an honest person, when it comes to telling your problems to us, which is something i cant really do. if you have problems, dont hesitate to tell us, though i dont really help much eheh. but sometimes there are things that arent meant to be said. its okay, theres nothing wrong feeling sad, feeling all those negative feelings. we are human too, we have feelings. it is okay to sometimes not be okay, it is okay. but other than that, be happy with those you are surrounded with. youre someone that worth a big hug.  i hope you spent your day with those you love 💕 i hope youre having a good day. youre an amazingly talented person. i hope youd achieve your dream soon, i pray for your health, and for you to surrounded by lovely people. you're such a talented person and gosh, your drawings for the fashion week, cries. chef kisses momma!!! you should update me on your life more because i wanna know what you do and support you on everything you do. don't forget me anyways :(( because you're the only realest annoying brutally honest bitch i love :(( i love you!! 

thanks for an amazing 2019, lets get closer in 2020. i love you guys. ♡

[quietly9]

im copy/pasting this joke here bc i just read it and cant find it anywhere else online

its so long but i swear its worth the read

okay so once upon a time there was this boy named Jimmy and when he was 5 years old he was starting his first day of kindergarten

so Jimmy packed his backpack in the morning. He had his folder, his thermos, his 64 pack of crayons (you know, the one with the sharpener)

Jimmy goes downstairs and his mom makes him his favorite breakfast and then walks him to the bus stop and hes so excited and he goes and sits on the front of the bus

so Jimmy is sitting on the bus and they're driving to school and as they pass they see this beautiful butterfly 

and Jimmy is looking around and nobody seems to notice the butterfly and hes like “wow, im so lucky to have seen such a beautiful butterfly!”

anyway they get to school and theyre lining up and jimmy sees this butterfly AGAIN and he's like “wow! Twice in one day im so lucky!!!”

he turns around and realizes that everyones already gone inside and he’s been abandoned

he found his way inside and a nice old secretary led him to his class

jimmy gets to his class and his teacher tells him where to sit so he sits down and he takes out his folder, his thermos, and his 64 pack of crayons (you know, the one with the sharpener) and gets himself all set up

so jimmy’s teacher goes to the front of the class and shes like “alright everyone, we’re going to draw our favorite animals and present them to the class for your first assignment”

jimmy is sitting there and hes thinking “well, my favorite animal is a dog, but dogs are pretty mainstream. I also like cats, but those are really popular too. A dog and a cat is like the two most common animals out of the 12 animals that a five year old might know”

so jimmy thinks “i know, i can draw that butterfly”

so yes, jimmy is the cool kid with the 64 pack of crayons (you know, the one with the sharpender) and he uses every single crayon to create the most amazing drawing of a butterfly that a 5 year old has ever seen

so the first kid goes up to present his project and he holds up a marker drawing of a dog and says “i drew a dog!”

then the second kid goes up and she holds up a colored pencil drawing of a cat and says “i drew a cat”

so now jimmy is like “well now i wont look like i was copying them AND i used crayons!”

so he’s feeling pretty good about his drawing, and he’s the last to present and when hes going up he’s nearly shaking with excitement as he holds up his paper and goes “i drew a butterfly!”

IMMEDIATELY all the kids gasp and the teacher tells him to get out of the room and that she never wants him back in the class

so jimmys a little confused as he goes to the principal's office and obviously he can go right in because its five minutes into the first day of school so the principal is j chillin

anyway hes like “alright, jimmy, whats up. Its been like. 5 minutes. Why are you here”

and jimmy goes “well, i drew a butterfly…”

immediately he’s expelled, kicked out at that moment, and he’s never allowed back in the school

so jimmy is walking home because obviously the busses have left already and a police car drives up to him and hes like “hey uh. Youre like, 5 years old. Its the first day of school. Shouldn't you be in class? What happened? Maybe i can give you a ride”

and jimmy is like “well, um, i drew a butterfly”

immediately he’s arrested and sent to court in front of every other case because this is HUGE

so the judge is real confused hes trying to figure out if this is even legal to test a 5 year old

so hes like “well lets just get this over with. What did you do”

and jimmy says “everytime I tell someone what happened, something bad happens to me”

and the judge is like “sorry buddy now its law”

so jimmy goes “well,,, i drew a butterfly” and is immediately sentenced to 25 years of prison

So while he’s in prison, these big burly guys come up to him and theyre like “aw look at the little five year old we’re gonna beat you up why are you even here”

now jimmy has caught on that he did a Bad Thing so he puts his hands on his hips and he goes “ i drew a butterfly!”

and the men go running away screaming like little girls saying “get away from me! Dont come near me!”

20 years later, jimmy gets let out 5 years early because he was a good boy, and hes on the prison bus back to his house

so hes on the bus back and the bus driver says to him “youre, what, 25? And youve been in prison for 20 years? How did you go to prison at 5 years old?

and by now jimmy is tired of this story and hes like “look, dude, i wanna put the past behind me, i dont want you to be mad i just want to get home to my mom so i can tell her about my first day of kindergarten, do i really have to tell you?”

the bus driver is like “ive been doing this longer than  you've been alive, ive seen everything, nothing scares me anymore, dont worry about it. What happened?”

so jimmy says “well,,, i drew a butterfly”

immediately gets kicked off the bus and has to walk home

so jimmy goes to cross the street and he immediately gets hit by a car and dies

and do you want to know what the moral of the story is?

look both ways before crossing the street

[feralhogs]

1-50 ho

you got it ho

1. What’s your favorite candle scent?

I AM SO GLAD YOU ASKED. ive been Purchasing various smelly candles for my gay divination activities, and i have a few nominees. i first thought of the candle i have now, a pink one with a very sweet vanilla smell, i love very sweet smells because it makes me think of candy which i tend to try to fill my inner void with. however im going to go with the first candle i bought, a dark orange one with a citrus smell. citrus scents are my next favourite and specifically this one reminded me of curiously smelling candles at my piano teachers apartment when i was very young. 

2. What female celebrity do you wish was your sister?

idk. ive been listening to her lion king stuff lately. dont judge me i needed to hear remixes of lion king music i was lost in that sauce in high school. and i just think shes neat. i dont think she would aggressively make me feel bad about everything, UNLIKE SOME PEOPLE

3. What male celebrity do you wish was your brother?

Look……. i really don’t know???? what is the criteria?? do they need to be like my siblings? dare i criticize my arguably criticizable siblings by picking out my ideal siblings? if i pick an ideal sibling, what does that say about what im lacking in my life? do i pick celebrities i hate so theoretically my family shames them into becoming silent and self-defeating

4. How old do you think you’ll be when you get married?

50. i think im going to have to figure myself out for a long time, and achieve some personal goals first. thats my excessively confident prediction and PERHAPS educated guess

5. Do you know a hoarder?

nnnnnoooooooo????? not a real, cant function because of hoarding hoarder. i can see in a few family members, including myself, liking to hang onto things that maybe become sentimental/unnecessary clutter but that sounds like something many non-hoarders experience?

6. Can you do a split?

lemme try one sec

NO

7. How old were you when you learned how to ride a bike?

Idk maybe 7? Or 11? i think my parents taught me at a children age and then i started biking for fun like, later, like pre middle school?

8. How many oceans have you swam in?

1. i dont really remember swimming in an ocean but i may have faded childhood memories of salty water and seaweed

9. How many countries have you been to?

2… i went to idaho for a band trip… my dad really doesnt like travelling

10. Is anyone in your family in the army?

HAHAHA

NO. ACTUALLY YES. but its funny because the specific brand of christianity we are supposed to be is super pacifist so ive heard. but then i remembered one dude apparently who joined the us military?????? it seemed like it was… an unusual choice. i dont really know anything else about this guy, not even his name

11. What would you name your daughter if you had one?

🙏 *inhale* buddy. oooooohhffffff i want to say something gender neutral honestly. i dont want to rock the boat being unconventional or something but im just thinking of all those years trying to live up to a feminine name

12. What would you name your son if you had one?

same i guess… why have i never thought about this????? was i preoccupied naming myself.

13. What’s the worst grade you got on a test?

hmmmmm hmmmmm trying to unlock the vault. i think i remember a 1 or a 0 on a math quiz. i think i got 30% or something very very bad (i dont even want to know) on my last english exam, but to be fair, i was having such a bad mental breakdown my professor did an intervention

14. What was your favorite TV show when you were a child?

like a very very small child? i was obsessed with the save-ums (?!?!?) for some reason. i would sing the anthem… no. theme song? i dont know. i guess it was catchy and there were lots of fun characters. OHHHH I SEE WHATS WRONG

ITS BECAUSE WE ONLY HAD A TV TILL I WAS LIKE 5 OR SOMETHING. what are you cultured people watching as children? what are the shows? 

15. What did you dress up as on Halloween when you were eight?

>:(

My Halloween experience:

i dont even remember i probably had some kind of fairy wings? i think i remember fairy wings. we went to one (1) house. later on, since we werent allowed to go trick-or-treating, we were each allotted a certain amount of candy, and if we ate more than a designated amount per day, we were in trouble and wouldnt be allowed anymore. i do remember getting in trouble for this. i think i stole someones candy. sibling against sibling. finally we were allowed to go trick or treating, i went with my younger brothers and by then, was a teenager and felt too tall and really uncomfortable

LMAO I JUST REMEMBERED THAT LAST TIME WE WENT TRICK-OR-TREATING NOT IN A RURAL AREA, my dad drove us around in a van and watched us like a hawk i believe. it was very tense and methodical.

16. Have you read any of the Harry Potter, Hunger Games or Twilight series?

i read the harry potter series (I WROTE SIBLIGS LOL) more times than i could count while growing up. i read the first hunger games book and didnt fancy it for whatever reason, and i had an obnoxious twilight-hating phase.

17. Would you rather have an American accent or a British accent?

no

sometimes, though, im really genuinely worried about what accent i do have. im worried i read so much harry potter growing up, it rubbed off on me. when i was a server, people would ask about an unusual accent i apparently had, and once, when i was talking to a super british guy who called me luv at walmart, he was like STOP. WAIT. YOU HAVE A BRITISH ACCENT. and i was like WHAT UHHH BYEBYE AND HE WAS LIKE NO. I HEARD YOU. STOP and i was like that michael jackson meme where he covers his face running away and everyone else in the line was staring

18. Did your mother go to college?

i believe she went to a bible college where people put a grand piano on top of the roof. 

19. Are your grandparents still married?

all of my grandparents are dead.

…. hmmMMMM yow. ok. my grandparents who werent estranged stayed married for as long as either of them were living… however, my OTHER grandparents, i mean the fucking kidnappers, my abuser grandpa… remarried? when he was… really really aging. im judging him for it because i know what kind of person he was.

20. Have you ever taken karate lessons?

I WISH. my parents didnt seem to like that sort of thing (surprise). im interested in it now but… as usual… i feel like its too late, im too old.

21. Do you know who Kermit the frog is?

….. i… i thought i did… hes blessed… thats all.

22. What’s the first amusement park you’ve been to?

ಠ_ಠ 

*crickets*

how could you ask me this?

no wait! i went to the waterslides. then, later on, i was never allowed to go to the waterslides.

23. What language, besides your native language, would you like to be fluent in?

Spanish. ive been “intending” to learn for a long time, and a lot of people who have been really good influences on me and been genuinely kind to me speak it, id like to learn it

24. Do you spell the color as grey or gray?

grey

one sec

yup thats canadian!

25. Is your father bald?

on the top of his head, yes >:(

26. Do you know triplets?

no?

27. Do you prefer Titanic or The Notebook?

no? what is this straight stuff? i listened to the dramatic titanic song and felt nothing.

28. Have you ever had Indian food?

i guess so, at a friends house! i dont think otherwise ive gone to a restaurant and actually had indian food

29. What’s the name of your favorite restaurant?

*gazes tearily at my OWN FUCKING OLD WORKPLACE

the food was sO GOOD MAN. IT WAS SO GOOD. im just not saying because despite how stalkable i probably am already, i dont want to be specific

30. Have you ever been to Olive Garden?

no whats that

31. Do you belong to any warehouse stores (Costco, BJ’s, etc.)?

w

belong? whats bjs? whats a warehouse for?

32. What would your parents have named you if you were the opposite gender?

i decided at one point they would never tell me this and it was no use asking. i do know they almost named my brother a very fusty old fashioned name fitting in with the thomas the tank engine theme 

33. If you have a nickname, what is it?

G is the ONLY one i will accept so far.

34. Who’s your favorite person in the world?

:)

i……… hmmmm…. i really dont like picking favourites. each person in my life has a unique relationship with me (even though a lot of them arent very warm, trusting or close). because of unhealthy middle school friendships ive grown an aversion to ranking relationships as if they have material value.

35. Would you rather live in a rural area or in the suburbs?

rural, i think. i need nature in my life!!! but i also need to be able to have connections to people.

36. Can you whistle?

yes, but not very loudly or accurately

37. Do you sleep with a nightlight?

no, but ive always wanted a nightlight

38. Do you eat breakfast every morning?

ive started to, yeah! this morning i made a whole thing with bread and mushrooms and eggs, and coffee, and i ate it outside watching the traffic. im really trying to treat myself nicely you see. its what id do for someone else.

39. Do you take any pills or medication daily?

THAT

BOY

JUICE!

WELCOME TO MY BUILD A BOY WORKSHOP!

SHOTS!SHOTS!SHOTS!

and im really fortunate to be in pretty good health, and have access to things i do need

40. What medical conditions do you have?

I dont think… i actually have any. id say gender dysphoria but i think it was informed consent. (im VERY lucky)

im pretty sure there are SOME mental conditions running around undiagnosed. MY BRAIN IS NOT WORKING PROPERLY

41. How many times have you been to the hospital?

for myself? once… when i got hives and started swelling up all over, but otherwise was fine. i really wonder what that was. other times was visiting sick/dying relatives which has made me feel sad and apprehensive whenever i enter a hospital or smell the food

42. Have you ever seen Finding Nemo?

yes! i had a gerbil named nemo! 

43. Where do you buy your jeans?

D:

i dont … remember … really nowhere special i actually have yet to find some jeans i LOVE. sometimes there is a pair of jeans that sparks joy. i do not have such a pair

44. What’s the last compliment you got?

my sister said my pants looked good on me. they are actually their pants, which they left on the floor in my room for an unknown reason, and they want them back. of course.

but because im excited about it and want to brag, the real compliment was when i made borscht and my sister not only ate it faster than me, but wanted a second helping. and my roommate stuck his face in the steam and said it smelled good. hell yes. i put fucking cilantro in it. fcking beast mode.

45. Do you usually remember your dreams in the morning?

yes. theyre usually really emotional and symbolic. if ive been talking to my parents, theyre usually nightmares. ive been reading about dream interpretation for a long time to deal with some of the ominous images that can come up

46. What flavor tea do you enjoy?

red rose reminds me of wheni was little my mom would make really sweet sweet red rose tea for me (thats the kind she drinks all the time) and it brings me those good feelings. otherwise licorice spice really appeald to me for some reason.

47. How many pairs of shoes do you currently own?

LMAO UHHH…brb

six. because of social pressure.

48. What religion will you raise your children to practice?

i never thought about this kind of thing…. i really don’t know….. id just want them to know how to be kind to others and themselves and thats literally it. 

49. How old were you when you found out that Santa wasn’t real?

i was one of those edgy kids trying to spoil it for everyone. guess what other common fun thing my parents didnt do

50. Why do you have a youtube? 

i dont! so i dont know what this question means! :)

HOLY SHIT I MADE IT THRU HIGH FIVE 

[1112lw]

Every question!!

SDFFSDFG DAM OK SIS

LONG POST AHEAD IF U LITERALLY WANNA KNOW ME PERSONALLY JUST READ THIS LMFAO

1: Name: Arche/Jupiter, my close friends know my real name so!

2: Age: High school has just been done so try to guess

3: Fears: Heights, oral presentations, the dark

4: 3 things I love: Drawing, men- concept art n stuff like that

5: 4 turns on: Oh here we go- uhh thighs, messy hair? when they give u The Look or when they. say things i will not talk about here HHGBDF n uhhh Arms 👀👀

6: 4 turns off: weird macho attitude, overly confident bullshit, being selfish and fuckboys in general

7: My best friend: not sure what this means but my bff is named Daphnée n i love her and ive known her my whole life so 

8: Sexual orientation: homosexuale

9: My best first date: :))))))) as if

10: How tall am I: sigh. I’m 5″4

11: What do I miss: sometimes i miss the feeling loved ig

12: What time were I born: 12:19

13: Favourite color: pink!

14: Do I have a crush

15: Favourite quote: My senior quote!! “if what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, I’m telling you I’m immortal”

16: Favourite place: well? my room ig? I like my yard too

17: Favourite food: ugh ramen,,,korean dishes are TASTE as fuck but i also like classic ass spaghetti so like lol

18: Do I use sarcasm: does it look like i dont

19: What am I listening to right now: dr.phil LMFAO

20: First thing I notice in new person: Hair and eyes!! also how they laugh

21: Shoe size: Like. a 7-8 in women’s 6 in men’s 

22: Eye color: Hazel/Golden yes bitch let me be special

23: Hair color: it’s either dark brown or golden brown idk

24: Favourite style of clothing: bruv its either kpoppie fuckboy or uwu skirts pastels

25: Ever done a prank call?: no i have anxiety

26: Meaning behind my URL:

27: Favourite movie: rise of the guardians and HTTYD

28: Favourite song: Comeback Home (BTS cover)

29: Favourite band: looks in the camera i dont know nan molla huh

30: How I feel right now: I’m fine im hungry

31: Someone I love: shoutout to my babeys in my server ily

32: My current relationship status: Single(tm)

33: My relationship with my parents: theyre fine ig just a bit tired

34: Favourite holiday:

35: Tattoos and piercing I have: Ear piercings? that’s it

36: Tattoos and piercings I want:

37: The reason I joined Tumblr:

38: Do I and my last ex hate each other? I sure hope not?

39: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? A bit ig?

40: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? Literally no

41: When did I last hold hands? Like last Friday

42: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? 20 minutes

43: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? no i havent shaved in like months

44: Where am I right now? in my room, in quebec, canada

45: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? bitch i sure hope my friends would

46: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? fuck my ears 

47: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? yeah

48: Am I excited for anything? yeah? yeah

49: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? ig? always

50: How often do I wear a fake smile? just at work tbh

51: When was the last time I hugged someone? not long ago i cant tell but my friends r cuddle monsters so 

52: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? i havent kissed anyone so 

53: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? lemme think uhhh no not rlly im not dumb 

54: What is something I disliked about today? i woke up n i thought i had school lol

55: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? oh john cock i want to be ur best friend

56: What do I think about most? i daydream 24/7

57: What’s my strangest talent? uhhh i can put my thumb behind my hand?

58: Do I have any strange phobias? trypophobia, if thats “weird”

59: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? depends on what the video is, mostly behind

60: What was the last lie I told? idk answering to my deadname

61: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? online

62: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? I slightly believe in ghosts? also aliens GOTTA exist so 

63: Do I believe in magic? i think!

64: Do I believe in luck? yeah

65: What’s the weather like right now? very pretty i filmed a video outside!!

66: What was the last book I’ve read? L’Étranger d’Albert Camus in french class

67: Do I like the smell of gasoline? yes my dad’s a mechanic

68: Do I have any nicknames? a lot a lot

69: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? bitch @ my birth #neverforget 

70: Do I spend money or save it? i have 40$ in my name right now

71: Can I touch my nose with a tounge? no

72: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me? yes highlighter

73: Favourite animal? cats or otters

74: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? FBISDFD NO WE DONT TALK ABOUT IT

75: What do I think is Satan’s last name idk he can have any last name he wants!!!

76: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? everytime i start hearing “waiting for you anpanman” or “i just wanna go home” 👀👀

77: How can you win my heart? aaahh. be a twink. b fashionable. b funny. cheesy. pls romance me like a npc in the sims 2

78: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? s(he) died smh

79: What is my favorite word? cunt is SUCH a satisfying word

80: My top 5 blogs on tumblr? oh great uh honestly cant be fucked 

81: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? please have brain. PLEASE

82: Do I have any relatives in jail? i sure hope the fuck not?

83: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? either invisibility or mind reading

84: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? ahaaa “what are your intrusive thoughts”

85: What is my current desktop picture? my lesbian sims getting married LMFAO

86: Had sex? no

87: Bought condoms? no

88: Gotten pregnant? NO

89: Failed a class? i think yeah maths last year

90: Kissed a boy? :(((

91: Kissed a girl? no

92: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? no

93: Had job? I have a job rn so 

94: Left the house without my wallet? yeah when i go to school

95: Bullied someone on the internet? define bullying?

96: Had sex in public? virgin squad

97: Played on a sports team? yeah

98: Smoked weed? no ew

99: Did drugs? no ew

100: Smoked cigarettes? NO EW

101: Drank alcohol? yep 

102: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? no i’d die

103: Been overweight? i’m twig

104: Been underweight? i think i was underweight when i was young? i was very Small

105: Been to a wedding? yes very long boring

106: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? bruh. everyday

107: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? probably?

108: Been outside my home country? ONCE

109: Gotten my heart broken? TWICE !

110: Been to a professional sports game? yesss canadians game!!

111: Broken a bone? no

112: Cut myself? not technically 

113: Been to prom? SOON SOON SOON SOSOSNSBFSHDD

114: Been in airplane? once

115: Fly by helicopter? i am not rich bitch

116: What concerts have I been to? noneeee- WAIT NO MARIE MAI

117: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? not sex but for the purpose of pretending i have a penis yes plenty

118: Learned another language? yeah!! i learned english, i almost learned spanish and i’m trynna learn korean now

119: Wore make up? i try!! but i’m not super good

120: Lost my virginity before I was 18? not 18 yet but it’s goin that way

121: Had oral sex? as if 

122: Dyed my hair? i wishhh

123: Voted in a presidential election? I WISH THE ELECTIONS R ONE MONTH B4 MY BIRTHDAY 

124: Rode in an ambulance? nope

125: Had a surgery? yes at a week old 

126: Met someone famous? i think yes but i was super small

127: Stalked someone on a social network? define stalked?

128: Peed outside? yes

129: Been fishing? YES

130: Helped with charity? i think? we do volunteering so 

131: Been rejected by a crush? not directly

132: Broken a mirror? no 

133: What do I want for birthday? boyf......boy..boyff

134: How many kids do I want and what will be their names? oh man uhh maybe 2-3, i dont know their names yet honestly

135: Was I named after anyone? MY DAD NAMED ME AFTER A FUCKIN CLIENT HE MET. as for my actual name now I named myself after my fav video game character. lit

136: Do I like my handwriting? yeah!!

137: What was my favourite toy as a child? bitch hot wheels

138: Favourite Tv Show? hells kitchen,,,,judge judy,,,anythin like that

139: Where do I want to live when older? honestly i wish i could just live in japan or tokyo, or new york? but i will most likely end up in montreal 

140: Play any musical instrument? i used to play the clarinet last year!!

141: One of my scars, how did I get it? the one on my knee, i scratched my desk with my knee 

142: Favourite pizza toping? my dad makes AMAZING sea food pizzas,,,

143: Am I afraid of the dark? a lot

144: Am I afraid of heights? A LOT

145: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? idk prolly? im a bit of a goody two shoes or however u spell it

146: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end: dont we all

147: What I’m really bad at: organizing my anxiety n shit i get overwhelmed

148: What my greatest achievments are: finishing high school 

149: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me: honestly has to be that time someone dug up my vent post about being dysphoric to try to say i hated myself with some dumbass DySphorIa Is SelF HaTRed argument

150: What I’d do if I won in a lottery: pay my parents’ debt off, buy 284223$ of BT21 merch, pay my whole college/uni and transition

151: What do I like about myself: idk i like how i literally do not give a fuck anymore and ive learned to love myself instead of trynna care

152: My closest Tumblr friend: @peptobismol-official​ @ace-landofthesun​ @dorkalisious​ and ana but idk her @ anymore :((( ana pls

153: Something I fantasise about: we dont talk about that

154: Any thoughts on the paranormal?: lit. please stop crawling in my ceiling !

ok now that u know my whole biography. go doxx me ig. bye bye