#ive been so hyped for the past year and it lived up to it! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ppnuggie · 9 months

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　　　　　　MTMTE x gn reader

　　　　『　rodimus ,, ultra magnus ,, chromedome ,, rewind ,, megatron ,, whirl ,, tailgate ,, swerve ,, cyclonus ,, first aid ,, ratchet ,, drift ,, gender neutral reader 』

　　-> christmas on the lost light

　　— fluff ,, sfw ,, crack

　　— sorry i havent been uploading as much 😭💔 ive been busy with work and school ,, but im on christmas break so hopefully ill be able to get through the few requests i have sitting in my inbox rn and reopen requests :(( ima try to start uploading more now as much as i can ❤️ heres a little something for christmas though ! hope you all enjoy christmas this year <3

• it was natural for the bots aboard to be interested in human customs ,, having lived in a war most their life . death and violence were something they were quite used to experiencing ,, never really having the time to experience anything outside of the horrors of war itself .

• swerve was one of the few main bots that pestered you often about human holidays . cybertronians didn't celebrate much ,, unless they were a group of autobots who just gave some decepticons a what-for .

• then again ,, swerve usually asked many questions regarding things on earth and what humans do . sometimes you humored him ,, sometimes you told little lies ,, like if you clapped three times in a mall it would be a sign that a tiger was loose . it was quite fun to put silly nonsense in that processor of his at times .

• though when it came to christmas he would not leave you alone . whether you celebrated it or not ,, you still explained the custom in general to him . how old saint nicholas would mosey on down the chimney ,, eat the cookies and drink the milk left out for him ,, and leave presents under the tree lit well and adorned with ornaments .

• you even pulled up the santa tracker for swerve ,, showing him where santa would go and be ,, how on christmas eve he would be flying around with his reindeer and leave presents

• hearing all of this intrigued chromedome and rewind ,, as well as tailgate and whirl . cyclonus didn't understand the hype and belief of having an old random man leave gifts in your house and eat your food even if left out specifically him . tailgate was thrilled though ,, a funny little old man leaving him gifts seemed so heavenly to him . chromedome and rewind ,, however ,, had different opinions . rewind was interested in this human holiday ,, whilst chromedome shared the same opinion as cyclonus . how were you sure this 'santa' guy wasnt gonna rob you ? and when you were sleeping nonetheless .

• rodimus already knew of this tradition ,, as did ratchet and ultra magnus . rodimus was quite ecstatic at the idea of having a christmas party ,, watching christmas movies and sipping on energon . maybe he could even have you sit on his lap ,, all cozy in those soft blankets and sippin on your own mug of hot chocolate .

• ratchet couldnt care less ,, grumbling something about how 'you humans and your holidays and customs' . though he definitely didnt deny the offer of going to this christmas party ,, it was nice to spend some time that didn't involve life threatening situations for once .

• ultra magnus ,, on the other hand ,, was quite picky about how the christmas party should be set up . he even tried to ban home alone ,, saying he didnt want rodimus to get any ideas from the traps in the movie . the last thing he needed was to end up in one the next day . though ,, the many outweigh the few ,, and so home alone was allowed in the movie marathon .

• now when you told him about the grinch ,, he wasnt sure if you were mocking him by saying it was an actual movie or if he should be concerned for what this dr.seuss guy was drawing . i mean ,, have you seen how hairy the grinch is ? or how the whos in whoville are shaped ? pointy noses and all ,, it was quite new to magnus .

• megatron ,, who overheard everything ,, already knew he wasnt going to be wanted at the party . it made sense ,, his past and everything he's done to earth and its people . though when you asked him to come ,, that you personally wanted him there ,, he swore he felt his spark stop for a second . he only gave a nod ,, whilst ravage bickered to him that night in his habsuite .

• whirl ,, to say the least ,, was prepared to fight santa . he was watching the santa tracker ,, waiting for the jolly fellow to pop up so whirl could fly down and bring out the big guns ( that brainstorm recently made ,, not yet tested out or put through a test trial so lord knows what may go wrong) . magnus almost had to throw him in the brig if he couldnt contain his sudden rage and fury for the old man .

• first aid was somewhat interested ,, never having celebrated a holiday before . it would be nice ,, getting together and doing nothing but watching movies all day . he hadnt seen movies from earth that much either ,, besides a few fast n furious ones here and there . needless to say ,, he was somewhat concerned for humans need to trash cars . he cringed a little on the inside ,, watching those perfectly good cars blow up . it was like a horror movie but for cybertronians .

• during the movie marathon ,, whirl tried to sneak violent night and black christmas in ,, saying they were also christmas movies and that they should watch them . magnus ended up throwing them out ,, saying no one really felt like seeing dying people during this one time of peace .

• drift enjoyed the nightmare before christmas ,, the claymation alone was enough to captivate him . then the designs of the characters ,, the music and songs ,, even jack's childlike wonder for christmas matched his own (in a few ways) . during that movie you sat with him ,, sharing a few facts about the movie itself . how long it took to make and how hard it is to do claymation movies .

• during the polar express you stayed with rewind and chromedome ,, snuggling in between the two and sippin on your hot chocolate . rewind enjoyed watching the train on the ice whilst chromedome puffed about how he coulda easily done that himself and saved everyone . you only rolled your eyes ,, muttering out a sure as you fought back a smile .

• during a break in between the movies you noticed megatron ,, standing awkwardly in the corner with his own cube of fools energon in servo . you smiled at the bot ,, walking up to him and having a small conversation with him . you didnt honestly think he’d show up ,, but youre glad he did . he let you sit with him during one of the movies ,, bonding well with the giant bot .

• he was quite warm ,, heat coming from off his body as you huddled close to him . he tucked his servo around you ,, worried you may fall off . for a few moments during the movie you swore you saw him smile at some of the corniest parts ,, or chuckle softly at some of the dumbest jokes .

• you took turns ,, switching between bots during different movies . you would sit in their laps ,, explain little things you liked about the movie playing and share a few things of your own childhood during this time of the year .

• it was nice ,, to say the least . having time to the bots ,, doing things that reminded you of home . it wasnt the same ,, but it was the thought that counted . spending time with them peacefully was more than enough for you ,, and definitely more than you could ask for this christmas .

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nina-ya · 6 months

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People I'd like to get to know better

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR TAGGING ME @shamblespirate I AM SMOOCHING YOU SO HARD

Last song: Tití Me Preguntó by Bad Bunny

I don’t really have an explanation for this song other than it gets me hyped the fuck up and Bad Bunny really just is one of my fav Spanish speaking artists and idk with both him and I being Puerto Rican I just have this sense of pride ya know SKSMDM OKAY ENOUGH OF THAT

Favorite color: light blues

Any shade of light blue! It can be pastel, baby blue, etc etc like blue has me in a chokeholdddddd

Last Movie: Words Bubble Up Like Soda Pop

MY BOYFRIEND SHOWED ME THIS MOVIE AND OH MY GOD IT IS SO CUTE???? Im a sucker for cute shit and this had me *sobbing* 100/10 please go watch it

Sweet/Spicy/Savoury: Savory

Oh this is tough….. I was teetering between spicy and savory but ultimately landed on savory cause I’m just baby when it comes to spice 😭 like I like it when my food has a kick to it but I’ll always love myself a good steak with some A1 sauce or some tacos from this good taco shop down the street like I can live without spicy but I can’t live without savory

Relationship Status: Taken!

I’ve been in this relationship for over 3 years!! High school sweethearts 🥰 I actually knew him for around 6+ years and I’ve been in love with him since the beginning and he has been in love with me too but we haven’t done anything about it till senior year 😭 truly a mutual pining slow burn 🤭fun fact! Our anniversary is the same day as Laws Birthday

Last thing I googled: cenote

I booked a cruise for my birthday and I was looking up excursions and there was one where it was like cave and cenote diving and I didn’t know what it was so I looked it up! It’s basically like a sinkhole filled with water I might just have to do that 👀👀

Current Obsession: Bugsnax

THIS IS SUCH A CUTE VIDEO GAME AND IVE BEEN PLAYING IT NONSTOP FOR THE PAST WEEK I think everyone should be required to play this game at one point in their lives

tagging: @uminozerol @nc-vb @benkeibear @zoros-sheath @turtletaubwrites @purplechemtrails @crimson-hybrid

#Nina Rambles~✦#THANK YOU SO MUCH AGAIN FOR THE TAG #crocheting is so cute and fun #you should make us matching hats

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getlancered · 4 months

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Okay guys whos ready who is locked in for one of 3 ace attorney turnabout bigtop rewrite ideas. if u guys are hyped for this i will drop the rewrite 7 years in the past where diego is the defense lawyer 🔥 OK LOCK IN

BULLET POINTS FOR LAZY PEOPLE AT THE BOTTOM

i wrote a lot. read it if you love me. also no read more because i hate you read it

rudinn’s painfully detailed rewrite of ace attorney JFA case 3 turnabout bigtop

so. this may be a little all over the place?! because ive never put it in coherent order i just spontaneously get new ideas and add onto it. maybe i should actually tell u guys about the entire rewrite of the original circus tragedy! yes that sounds like a good idea.

june-ish, 2017

it’s supposed to be like 6 months prior to the murder right

i made the idea of failed equipment... essentially russell decides to teach regina how the equipment is hooked up and taken down so she can do it herself when she ideally runs the circus one day. and before a very rushed show where everything is out of order regina decides to be helpful and hook the net up herself! she does it improperly but there isn’t really time to do anything about it befire the show starts. russell insists acro cant perform without a whole functioning net but he trusts his skills and theyve never actually had to put it to use becuase acro and bat are just that talented!

acro, mid performance, many feet in the air misses a catch. instead of falling to his death bat essentially dives down to act like his net and break his fall. they hit the ground, bat dies on impact, acro is permanently paralyzed.

regina doesnt ever see whats happening because ben shields her and himself from watching the fall, which leaves the crowd and moe to watch the death happen in very real time. he never recovers, the incident marks him with CPTSD and he will shut down at any mention of the accident.

☆

after moe breaks down on stage, the berry big circus holds a final performance before a long overdue break to give everyone time to process.

when they resumes performance, russell decides to hire max galactica as the brand new star of the show! he takes a liking to the anxious and unassuming benjamin woodman and is extremely curious about the person he is behind the persona of trilo. being the first person in the circus to take a liking to him as a person and not the crutch to his crippling anxiety, trilo quist, they quickly grow close over the 6 months following.

december 26th, 2017

russell berry is traveling solo for a networking event, and is extremely nervous about leaving the circus in moe’s hands. moe is extremely clumsy and immature. he’s not at all confident in moe’s ability to fire a gun (you know, in the canon game where he shoots a lion? i’m keeping that.) this fear is reinforced during a game of darts between the two of them, where moe rips a hole in the circus tent in an attempt at reassuring russell of his impeccable aim.

russell decides to teach his dear friend how to fire a handgun. and because russell has never fired while wearing gloves, he’s hesitant to let moe try it, so they practice without gloves on. (because how else would the defendant’s fingerprints be on the gun, silly?)

a few hours later…

6 months after his brother’s violent death and acro’s permanent disability by his own misjudgement, he can’t live with himself. he takes russell’s gun from his office up to his room, places a suicide note on his bed, and—

regina berry walks in.

there’s nothing she can do but ask why. having been spared the details and the moment of the death thanks to ben, she doesn’t understand. so acro explains it to her. they have a very heartfelt conversation clearing up a lot of resentment, and they begin their steps together to mending their relationship and acro’s mental health. regina takes his suicide note from his room because he doesn’t need it. she, ultimately, decides to keep it as the first harsh reality she’s had to face and as a milestone for acro getting better.

december 27th, 2017.

uh oh.

by now, the entire circus tent is well aware of maximillian galactica and his anger issues. it’s smart to let him win any disagreement out of fear of it turning into a heated argument.

russell berry laments to moe about this in his office, shortly before the murder. he’s nervous about leaving the circus when he tends to be the mediatior. (mostly between moe and max.) moe tells him, ever so gracefully, that it is russell’s circus and he should fucking act like it, and to please put max in his goddamn place already. aka, talk to him about it. russell, who is notoriously bad at confrontation, decides to go and finally have a long overdue chat with max, who is still in the dinner hall. so he leaves moe in his office to go and do just that. (chronologically, this translates to this scene, but like. with moe instead of max. i havent gotten around to redrawing it...)

meanwhile…

everybody in the circus treats acro and his disability like a forbidden topic, and max is sick of it! all he has for some damn context around here is a picture of the scene in action, which is supposedly in a tabloid somewhere. he’s not satisfied with this, so he decides to go straight to the source and demand that someone finally tell him what the hell happened to this shitshow of a circus.

acro, of course, attempts to calmly turn him down, but max refuses to take no for an answer. when acro gets defensive, their argument turns heated.

you all know this scene well as ben and max’s argument. however, instead, max breaks the bottle over acro’s head. he immediately goes limp, blood spilling down his split forehead a-la turnabout trump.

max fucking panics. he takes his obnoxious hat and uses it to cover acro’s wound, and then wheels the dead man straight to benjamin woodman in absolute hysterics over what to do.

ben proposes the idea of faking acro’s suicide, citing that he was already suicidal and that way no one goes to jail! max has no reason to deny it. so ben tells max to retrieve russell’s gun, a pen, and a piece of paper while ben takes acro’s body upstairs to his room.

at the same time max is heading out to retrieve the items, russell has finally gotten around to speaking to max after procrastinating with a few chores regarding regina’s animals. he walks into the dining hall to see a small pool of blood on the ground, a broken glass bottle, and no max.

what’s it like to be a murderer?

well, when you’re max galactica and moe is asleep at the desk in russell’s office? pretty easy after a quick heart attack. there’s papers on top of russell’s desk, though. looks like someone’s been snooping. he takes the items he needs, remaining undetected, and then meets ben in acro’s room.

ben creates the forged note while max removes acro’s headpiece and drapes his hair in a way that conceals the wound. he then attempts to work up the courage to shoot acro in the temple with russell’s gun. after some more hysterics from max trying to hold a gun, ben decides to do it on his own. while wearing max’s gloves of course, he’s not stupid.

he might actually be stupid though, because he later ends up leaving his beloved trilo quist behind. oops! ben and max carefully lay acro on the bed and leave their victimless crime behind. it’s better this way, isn’t it? now nobody has to be arrested.

not unless your name is moe and your life sucks!

upon waking up hours later, still very russell-less, moe decides to check in on acro because it seems long overdue given how late into the night it’s gotten. he opens the door to see acro lying dead in his bed, and he breaks.

he holds acro close for a long long time. he just holds acro and cries. when he’s too tired to cry anymore, he sits on the floor at the foot of acro’s bed, head to his knees in a state of shock. and he remains that way even when russell finds the two of them, even when russell attempts to shake him out of shock. even as police cars pull up and whisk him away from the scene of the crime.

at first, nothing is out of the ordinary. acro died by suicide, he left the note. regina is sobbing, insisting that he would never, but as a young girl who has never had to deal with grief to such a degree before, her cries aren’t taken to heart.

not until they discover the real cause of death, and a moe’s fingerprints on the gun.

gumshoe takes moe in handcuffs, attempting to calm the panicking clown under the guise of “asking a few questions.” when he lets the fingerprints slip, moe calls to russell to tell them what’s actually going on and to clear up the horrible misunderstanding!

russell does not. he stares in somewhat of a trance at the ordeal unfolding in-front of him. being a man who cannot act without a prior plan of what exactly to do, he isnt sure what to say to make sure moe isn’t incriminated further. so he says nothing, and moe is taken to the detention center.

umm the rest of this is. a little vague? i havent worked out the trials or investigation sequences yet.

i do plan for this little rewrite of mine to, one day, be a playable thing! i am so passionate about this case that i want people to see it through a new light and love it like i do.

i will give you all the unstructured rundown of my ideas further, including my evidence list, some fun little dialogue snippets, potential sprites i’d be drawing, and a couple of random ideas for what could happen during the playable bit of the game.

evidence list!

basically just everything phoenix will find/have on him throughout the case. sorted by room and in order of discovery. sort of. subject to change…

misc/given:

Attorney’s Badge - It’s my all-important badge. It shows that I am a defense attorney.

Maya’s Magatama - Slightly translucent. It radiates softly with a mysterious light.

Crime Photo - A picture of the crime scene. (recieved from detective gumshoe)

Moe’s Gloves - They’re covered in blood. Supposedly, because he was holding the body. (recieved from moe)

Incident Photo - A picture of Acro mid-air. (recieved from max)

Newspaper Clipping 1 - Acrobat Sean Dingling falls to his death. (recieved from russell)

Acro’s Autopsy Report - Time of death: 8:30 PM. Cause: Sharp force trauma to the forehead. (presented by detective gumshoe)

Pistol - Belongs to Russell. Two shots fired. Bears Acro’s and Moe’s fingerprints. (presented by detective gumshoe)

Broken Glass Bottle - The murder weapon. Found in the cafeteria trashcan covered in blood. (presented by franziska)

Newspaper Clipping 2 - Berry Big Circus closing it’s doors for the foreseeable future to watch the health of their performers. (presented by franziska)

ringmaster’s room:

Max G. Promo Poster - Covered in sparkles. His stage makeup is certainly flashy.

The Flying Dingling-Berries Promo Poster - It’s color is faded from years in the spotlight.

Letter of Resignation - An unsigned letter detailing someone’s desire to move on to better employment opportunities.

big top:

Torn Circus Tent - A large hole torn in the main tent of the Big Top. Not far below a hanging dart board.

Acrobat’s Net - A tightly-strung net for the acrobat’s performance.

cafeteria:

Bloody Footprints - Despite having seemingly no origin, a short trail of footprints lead from the cafeteria to the Ringmaster’s Room.

moe’s room:

Sentimental Photo - A framed photo of a young Acro and Bat with Moe wrapping his arms around them.

regina’s room:

Suicide Note 2 - Hidden in Regina’s drawer. Acro will never be able to put the accident behind him, but he doesn’t want to keep the circus in the past with him.

acro’s room:

Suicide Note 1 - Left on Acro’s nightstand. Acro can’t live with himself knowing Bat died because of him.

Trilo Quist - A ventriloquist's puppet. An operatic tenor who doubles as Ben's sidekick.

Headband - A golden headband with red gems. There’s traces of blood on it.

ben’s room:

Silk Hat - Made-to-order fedora that is a symbol of Max's fabulousness. There’s blood on the inside of the hat.

White Gloves - Pristine white gloves with a bit of sparkle. Also, traces of gunpowder.

WHEW. Done

some things i cooked up regarding evidence pieces…

Incident Photo - A picture of Acro mid-air. (recieved from max)

when interrogating max and presenting the acrobat’s promo poster to him, you get this line of dialogue.

Max: Oh, hmm…They were fabulous, I’ve heard. And believe me, I’ve heard very little. They’re something of a touchy subject.

Max: When I asked why, Ben gave me this photo and told me to never bring it up again.

Max: Apparently it was rather the scandal! They had to close temporarily until I came along, of course~

max gives you the incident photo, which you then show to the members of the circus. phoenix learns from regina and russell that, aside from acro, moe took the incident the hardest. russell also gives you the first newspaper clipping.

when you show this photo to moe in the detention center, he freezes up and puts up psyche-locks. i haven’t done much with those yet, though.

The Flying Dingling-Berries Promo Poster - It’s color is faded from years in the spotlight.

when you show this to moe, he absolutely loses it laughing. that’s it. just a stupid bit about how absolutely awful their name is. he cracks the expected jokes.

Newspaper Clipping 2 - Berry Big Circus closing it’s doors for the foreseeable future to watch the health of their performers. (presented by franziska)

franziska, at some point in the trial while moe is on the stand, attempts to make a case against him and how he’s mentally unstable using the clipping being about his breakdown on the stage. she also brings up his severe depression he experienced for some time after the accident, his unnatural behavior upon finding the body/his response to fear, and his tendency to severely dissasociate any time the accident is brought up.

Letter of Resignation - An unsigned letter detailing someone’s desire to move on to better employment opportunities.

various reaction dialogue snippets incoming

Moe: Me? Quit? HAHAH! Yeah right, Wright! I think Russ would feed me to the lions if I even tried. Ha. Haha…

Moe: …I’ve got no reason to, anyhow. They’re like my family.

Moe: Give it to Max. I’ve always hoped its his. The whole circus would be better off if an attitude like his would magically disappear!

——

Max: Oh, darling, this circus wouldn’t run the same without me! I bring a fabulous sparkle that’s impossible to replace~

Max: Not to mention a fabulously packed audience. I make the circus all of it’s money, sweetie.

Max: Not a soul on this earth could resist the talent that is Maximilian Galactica!

Max: Hmm…Don’t let word slip, now, but Ben might know a thing or two. He’s been having a few…struggles, lately.

——

Trilo: Max and his big mouth…! He’s a huge gossip! Him and his fancy agency…

Trilo: Those flamboyant douchebags are used to spilling all sort of secrets, I tell ya!

Ben: W-What—um, Trilo is try—trying to say—

Trilo: Spit it out! Ugh. It’s not his, and it sure ain’t mine! Ben’s a quitter, but not me, no siree.

Trilo: I hate these looney-tunes bunch of jokes, but the entertainment industry is all about CONNECTIONS! Max is like a goldmine! No way I’m leaving now.

Trilo: Ben and this Berry-Big-Joke are stuck with me!

Trilo: It’s Acro’s. Gotta be. I thought he was gonna kill himself, which…Oops! Awkward. But he must’ve—

Ben: Tr-Trilo…! Goodness! Don’t speak ill of th—the…of the…

Trilo: Dead?! It’s not “speaking ill” if it’s just the facts! Are you trying to silence me?! Your own partner?!

Ben: …

Trilo: Thought so.

Trilo: Yeah, not sure what happened! He probably tried to quit and then gave up and killed himself or something. Who knows!

Ben: M-my gosh…

it’s bens btw. he’s a liar.

brief playable section outlined? i dont have a lot of specifics…

opens with a playable bit from the POV of moe waking up in the ringmaster's room. he walks around the berry big circus in a bit of a daze. when he leaves to see a dark sky, he comments on how late it is and that he should probably go check on acro. you find the body and get a bit of an emotion snippet before it fades to black.

maya calls phoenix and tells him to look at the TV, apparently there's been a death at the berry big circus that they went to see the day prior and they should check it out.

moe isn't visible in the detention center. that is, until maya presses her face to the glass and sees moe sitting on the floor, pouting. he tells phoenix and maya, who he mistakes for max galactica paparazzi, to go away. you show him your attorney's badge and get a dialogue bit about him being abandoned by russell, and also not believing this is genuinely a murder and just a suicide. when you get through to him that he is under arrest for murder, he essentially begs phoenix to represent him. like usual, maya guilt trips him into it.

russell is in the bigtop circus tent. you question him about the hole, and he tells you about moe's terrible aim. you bring up a dialogue bit about "abandoning moe" and he tells you about the arrest. you can show him the acrobat/max promo posters after picking them up and get a bit about that too.

you chase ben around the circus for a bit before finding regina in the lodging house and learning that he doesn't talk to anyone unless he has trilo. you also talk to regina about the murder, she reinforces that this can’t be a suicide because acro would never do anything like this. not after all they talked about.

talk to gumshoe in acros room, discuss what he knows about the case and get respective evidence pieces from gumshoe. and also get trilo.

give trilo to ben, talk to him about the circus. also, talk about the supposed new star of the circus and how great he is. after showing max’s promo poster.

break into moe’s room. find his very sweet photo of acro and bat

trial one, gumshoe first as per usual. trial 2-1, brief testimony from moe about his alibi. cross examine regina about her conversation with acro. then, cross examine her about the gunshot she heard and the time she heard it. trial 2-2, cross examine russell about his alibi. prove that he isnt really telling the court everything he knows.

second investigative period, this is where it gets way less structured LOLOL. meet max formally for the first time, get the incident picture from him. investigate more about the incident.

show the picture to regina, she gives you testimony about the accident and moe. show the picture to russell, he gives you the newspaper clipping. show the picture to ben, he tells you about him giving it to max.

you can show moe’s sentimental picture to ben and get a bitter little dialogue bit! nothing fun, yet.

show the letter of resignation around. get the dialogue pieces i showed earlier. unlock some psyche locks from ben to find out that its his

break into reginas room. find acro’s not forged very real suicide note

break into bens room. find everything incriminating max galactica

show moe the newspaper clippings and unlock some psyche locks and he cries to you for a very very long time about the accident

more psyche locks from russell probably. argument between max and acro revealed and the rest of the shit he’s been hiding. man i dont know

trial 4-1, cross examine moe and his testimony some more. franziska calls him crazy for a while. put him to the side while you get a very brief max galactica testimony, then some stuff from ben. trial 4-2 ben openly breaks down on the stand about feeling unloved and left out by the circus and that max is the only person who gives a shit. cross examine max and find out about the argument with acro. max galactica murder breakdown. thats it? we win? max goes to jail?

HOLD IT BITCH. the stupid clown is not done. he starts begging phoenix not to ruin their circus, that max can’t be a murderer because he’s the star and acro must have killed himself. phoenix gives moe acro’s real suicide note and then he just cries on the stand for a while.

comfort moe some more outside of the courtroom, convince him that acro doesn’t hate him forever and that the circus will be okay.

the end 🔥

BULLET POINTS FOR LAZY PEOPLE HERE‼️

regina fucks up the net for the acrobat performance. no one does shit about it. acro and bat fall and die. onlt bat dies though actually

moe is FUCKED UP over it. breaks down on stage and the circus shuts down PTSD PARTAY

enter gayboy stage left he flirts with ben like no freakin tomorrow dude

russell has to leave for work because plot purposes and moe is fucking stupid. tears a hole in the tent trying to prove to russell that hes not fucking stupid

so russell teaches moe how to fire a gun incase he needs to Fire A Gun while russell is gone. gloves off duh silly his fingerprints gotta be on there somehow!

yeah when theyre done with that gun acro tries to KILL HIS FUCKIN SELF

regina finds him and cries. they makesies upsies and become best friends. so regina takes his suicide note

MAX GALACTIA IS A FUCKING CUNT. — russell berry to moe in his room. moe tells him to Man the fuck up snd talk to him

moe falls asleep when russell leaves lol

while they talk about this shit max galactica proceeds to be a fucking cunt by killing acro with a glass bottle because acro didnt wanna tell him about his tragic dead brother

max puts his hat on acro’s head to hide the gaping fucking wound. goes to his forbidden gay lover to ask what to do with a dead body?! the Normal Logical Thing of course; stage a suicide

russell procrastinated btw so when he goes to find max he finds blood instead

max finds stuff to forge a suicide note, and because he’s too much of a pussy to shoot acro himself ben does it for him. like a good boyfriend

moe wakes up like 5 hours later after a terrible nap and stumbles around the circus until he finds a Body

holds acro instead of calling the cops. sits on the floor instead of calling the cops

when russell finds them in the morning and calls the cops they arrest moe after like 2 seconds of realizing its not a suicide and this dumb bitchs fingerprints are on the gun

Russell doesnt do shit btw. lets it happen. like the loser he is.

im not bullet pointing the playable stuff this shit took fucking forever

THATS MY ABSOLUTELY DERANGED BIGTOP RANT. thanks for reading if you love me. PLEASE READ THIS AND ENJOY THIS CASE AS MUCH AS ME

#this is for the single person who asked for my rewrite #ace attorney #moe curls #ken dingling #acro ace attorney #russell berry #benjamin woodman #max galactica #regina berry #spade rambles #phoenix wright #maya fey #this is so embarassingly detailed.#sorry to my bff and gf who have heard about every single step of this #im so proud pls read it #one day i will make it playable

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eriexplosion · 7 months

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MOVING FROM SOME EASY EPISODES TO THE HARDEST. OUTPOST.

Do y'all remember the hype for this episode like we knew it was THE Crosshair episode and everyone was absolutely thirsting for it.

"A new friend is made on a harsh and unforgiving outpost planet" WHO WROTE THIS SUMMARY?

Like yes technically accurate as it doesn't specify that the new friend survives the friendship.

Crosshair clearly paying much more attention to the regs these days, at this point I do think he's pretty much had all his bullshit beaten out of him when it comes to thinking he's better than anyone else. Just in time for Crosshair's Worse Time Parade to start.

Much like Hemlock, Lieutenant Nolan is established as absolute garbage the instant he sees Crosshair taking like two seconds to breathe out of his helmet and tells him he's out of uniform. If The Bad Batch can do one thing it's write a man that sucks.

AND THEN HE MAKES IT WORSE WITH "I DON'T LIKE USED EQUIPMENT"

Literally would kill this man myself and he's been on screen for 30 seconds

THE ICE VULTURE <3 OUR BOY'S NEW MOTIF <3

MAYDAY. MAYYYYYDAYYYYYY.

HE IS HERE!

God Mayday was complicated because like I loved him from the moment I saw him but also like, coming into this episode just logistically we knew anyone that showed Crosshair a hint of kindness was almost certainly going to get killed, so Mayday is loved for the exact thing that put him on the path to narrative doom. Reinforcements or no reinforcements, it doesn't matter, Mayday was never leaving Barton IV alive.

They waited 36 rotations. 4 days longer than Crosshair was left to nearly starve on a platform. If I remember correctly (I'm not there yet) Crosshair says the trip took 2 hours. None of their lives were worth two hours.

THE WAY MAYDAY HAS TWO, TWO MEN LEFT UNDER HIS COMMAND. ONLY TWO. HE HAD TO WATCH THE REST ALL DIE UNDER HIS WATCH. I AM SO FUCKING UNWELL ABOUT HIM.

I really love the name Hexx btw

"Respect is something to be earned." And immediately Nolan goes nuclear to insult him because he wasn't instantly given unconditional deference.

YEP IT WAS TWO HOURS. TWO HOURS OUT OF THE WAY.

I am going to scream from the layers of unfair this is.

The way Mayday's voice softens a touch when left alone with Crosshair though, always gentler with another clone.

I'm still not over the LONG pause after Mayday introduces himself, like Crosshair is trying to dig past the shields he put up between himself and his situation to remember his own name. He probably hasn't heard it at all since Cody.

Mayday looked at Crosshair and apparently felt the desperation for company rolling off him in smothering waves because he instantly is just like 'you're under my wing now'

That he's been out here over a year meaning that the Empire has been established for over a year is a lot to take in like god Crosshair has been away from home for so long.

"You'll freeze to death in that armor" He is like 10 seconds from wrapping Crosshair in a blanket I swear to god I'm only slightly projecting.

"Vicious creatures, but you have to admire 'em. They find a way to survive." GOD I LOVE THAT LINE. ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC.

Using the explosion through heat vision to completely screw Crosshair's up for the shot was such a good excuse to have him just wound the guy instead of kill him, lol.

Still was surprised to see a blood trail in this cartoon, but sure they can't show us any sign of Tech's body right (YES I AM STILL ON THIS AND WILL BE UNTIL THEY SHOW US THE BOY)

Goddddd him putting Hexx and Veetch's helmets next to all of the others. His very last brothers, the men he was responsible for, god I am in tatters about it. Every second of this episode is just. Grief and Pain.

"Remind me not to die on your watch" Don't worry you're the only person that's been nice to him in months he will literally drag you through hell to save your life. Crosshair just has what we call "Something is wrong with him" disease and all of his words pass through the cortex that makes him rude before getting to you.

My thoughts on this mine disarming scene are Many but let it just be said that I still cannot believe they put this on my screen, it was made explicitly for me to be feral to.

Mayday has learned fast how to talk to Crosshair though, gotta give him some snark back.

"They're... gone." "And here we are. The survivors."

GOD I AM UNHINGED ABOUT THIS.

"If I don't hear a boom then I'll know it worked." "Glad you're confident in your work." "Oh I'm confident, I'm just not stupid."

I just love this back and forth dynamic that they hit perfectly and immediately.

Hey Crosshair actually wins a hand to hand fight all he has to do is sneak up on them and not give them the opportunity to actually hit him back.

Shout out to the guy whose first instinct was to try and RUN MAYDAY OVER WITH A CAR like it didn't work but impressive ingenuity.

Clones dying to guard the gear intended for their replacements god it makes me ILL.

"We're good soldiers. We followed orders. And for what?"

The entire thing is designed to drive a wedge into Crosshair's brain and break through the thick shield he's built around himself where he is so sure if he just follows orders Well Enough maybe he can make everything he's done and lost worth it in the end but he can't because he never had a future in the Empire and no amount of sunk cost fallacy will change that.

AND JUST IN TIME FOR HIS EPIPHANY WE GET THE AVALANCHE.

Literally would be so fascinating to see exactly what was running through Mayday's head when he chose to push Crosshair out of the way of the rock instead of jumping to safety himself. He just met this guy, he's not technically responsible for him, but Mayday has lost every single soldier he was in command of, sole survivor of his unit, and he finally, finally had the opportunity to save someone. If he only saves one person, maybe he's done something worthwhile.

And honestly, Crosshair is trying to do the same back to him. Just Mayday dies knowing he succeeded and Crosshair lives knowing he failed.

I am fucking destroyed by this episode by the way like it is so unbearably good and also tragic as hell.

Mayday trying to get Crosshair to leave him behind and the music when Crosshair decides absolutely the fuck not. That they have one helmet between them and Crosshair put it on Mayday's head and not his own.

THE MUSIC AS CROSSHAIR IS SO DETERMINED TO DRAG HIM BACK AND THE ICE VULTURE OVERHEAD MY GOD.

The moment of them huddling together in a tiny little hideaway in the rock ends me too, like, images that stick in my head forever.

And despite everything Crosshair made it he got Mayday back to the outpost alive, he did everything to accomplish the impossible and it should have been enough, but it wasn't all because Nolan doesn't value either of their lives enough to even lift a single finger for Mayday.

Like Crosshair accomplishing the impossible through sheer stubbornness only to have it pulled away at the last second I am in AGONY.

HE GAVE MAYDAY HIS SNIPER RIFLE TO USE AS A CRUTCH FOR GODS SAKE

Crosshair taking Mayday's helmet off and at least giving him one last moment of human connection before it's over

The voice acting in this moment is absolutely unbelievable but especially on 'Help him' like give DBB all the money in the world because I was shattered.

THE FACT THAT THEY MADE US LISTEN TO MAYDAY GURGLE COUGH OUT HIS LAST BREATH AND SEE THE INSTANT HIS EYES ROLL BACK AND CLOSE

"He served his purpose as a soldier of the Empire" OWN WORDS THROWN BACK INTO HIS FACE LIKE A FUCKING PUNCH

The way Crosshair's words drop back down into a growl as he says "You could have saved him." is so good too.

The music as it all reaches its boiling point, as he sees the vulture's shadow, then Mayday's body, then the vulture itself just. Oh god. This episode is a masterpiece and I'm still not over it. I don't think I'll ever be over it.

Like I still cannot BELIEVE we got this shot? The rock wings? I'm? Inconsolable?

Crosshair really probably thought he was going to die right there next to Mayday and honestly I think he was okay with it, in the worst way possible. Also him unconscious here is literally THE most relaxed I think we've ever seen his face.

But because this is only the start of Crosshair's Life Getting Much Much Worse he gets to live and wake up in a horrible science lab!

The sedative injection is much worse given the way that they torture him later.

"Cooperate and you might survive."

Literally one of the best episodes of anything I've ever seen I still cannot believe that we got it, truly. This episode is like 95% of the reason I have faith in the writers pulling through on the Tech Issue because I don't think anyone that gave Crosshair this episode arc would actually kill Tech off in such a stupid way on a completely pointless side quest.

I'm still on the rock wings and will be until further notice.

#the bad batch rewatch

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hakucho-art · 2 months

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HAPPY BIRTHDAG MY BELOVED WIFE!!!

can we get a recap of your favourite experiences the past year???🥺🥺🥺🥺

NAWWW, WHY ARE YOU GUYS BEING SO ADORABLE RN 😭♥️♥️

Uhmmm uhm, DEFINITELY finishing that My R animatic is one of them. Ive been wanting of making one before I even really started drawing. I was really happy that I finally made it wjdvjwvd

Hyping up about the tg countdown was fun, I didnt mind what the reveal was that much wjdvwjvd

COMIC CON WITH YOU WAS GREAT, as it is every year, duh. Visiting you is always a highlight ♥️

Meeting Leila as well 💕 Meeting online friends for the first time is always special, I feel so privileged and happy that Ive been able of doing that

Comic con germany with my friend was also amazing because that was the first time I made a trip with her and really enjoyed it

Generally so grateful for my irl friends and online friends (all equally my friends for all I care) because you guys always cheer me up and bring me joy.

Also my mum, the most important person in my life, I'm so glad I have her. I love her so much.

The concerts I went to: mother mother (BANGER), olivia Rodrigo (magical), the Rose (made me understand Kpop fans so deeply), the nier concert (I may have cried a little), TOUCHED (THE GAY PANIC I HAD), Lordi (I wouldnt do it again but hearing metal music live is a really cool experience)

Being able to visit my grandpa again in azerbaijan and celebrating his birthday 🤲💕

It was also cool to have my first job but to be real. Best part was ofc receiving money KWVDJJWD my colleagues were kind but my superior with whom I interacted the most had such a... idk heavy, stressed, negative aura. I hope she is doing well but god, that made me so anxious. Social anxiety was NOT helping. So yeah, quitting felt also amazing uwu

UHHH, ALL THE ZINES I WORKED ON, now that is truly one of the highlights. I love working on zines (even tho I'm a chronic procastinator, god help me) but yh, the 9S2B zine was especially a joy to work on as a Mod ♥️

Every single time making and Posting touken art, god I love them. A big contributor to the joy in my life, I love being obsessed with ships JWVFJVW Ive always been that way and im probably never going to change in that regard. When I dont have characters to ship, I will (literally, I used to do that as a child) ship colors. I am unstoppable

Its really shitty that negative experiences stay much stronger in our minds, I first needed a moment to remember the good stuff because my mind first went to all the bad stuff. Thank you for the question my wife, I really needed that 🤲

Makes me realize how much there was to smile about

#<333 #asks #fav #a lot of stuff i am not mentioning and a lot of stuff im probably not even remembering 🥺#i have mixed feelings about how i spent my gap year #and ofc stuff also happened that wasnt nice and pretty shitty #but i will always be grateful for the joys i get to experience and the loving people in my life🙏

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dnpbeats · 2 months

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With what they said in the video, Ive changed my mind and I think maybe this tour has been cobbled together since january. I wonder if its also because of what they said, they want to live in the present, and maybe they weren't sure how long the hype would last so they wanted to get it done as quickly as possible. Im sure 3 past world tours helped them to know where they can speed up the process🤷‍♀️

yeah, it also makes sense to do it now if they want to move on to other life things lol. like assuming they are genuinely gonna get a dog in the near future, it makes way more sense to do that after the tour, meaning they probs don't wanna be waiting a year and a half to tour lol (though i guess atp they could just get a dog and have it for a year and a half and then have someone dog sit for a couple of months lmao so idk)

#ask #anon #d&p #dan and phil #phan #q

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docilepillow · 7 months

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2024 February Media Post Thingy : Featuring Movies Also

I've never really liked doing editing " do-overs". i think if this was like a normal year with no leaping ( As of starting this post a couple of minutes ago ( 4:51 PM ) , i only just learned that this year was a leap year? Just goes to show how little i pay attention..! But yea, on topic, on topic, i don't look back to edit these kind of thought pieces after i write them, it'd feel odd to do so, ,and january's post was a mile and a half to write , so, after finishing the Big Thing for this year, i'm starting the writing on this on the 28th so i dont have to finish it all in one sitting this time. I'm not sure when i'll drop or pick up on it, and its not like, done Live with the month, so the actual timeline of things won't be completely perfectly accurate, but anyways : the things covered here are in rough sequencial order, mostly focused around New Media i've tried this month, with an added blurb about anything ive revisited this year at the very end. I'll try to add a blurb about everything, but no guarentees. Also, i said i'd have more screenshots to share, but i forgot again. A significant number of games here were also on 3ds which i have no good way to get screenshots for. planning is hard This month was heavily characterized by the absolutely wonderful time i had for my birthday and the days surrounding it, because wow, am i in love with my boyfriend! after many, many months spent long distance, i'm extremely glad to say that the first few days of this month were absolutely heavenly, and i do absolutely "get" all the lovey dovey emotional stuff that surrounds it. While he was over, we got to watch a whole bunch of different movies and such, and most of the video game focus was directed towards one big game, being God Of War Ragnarok, which is an absolute behemoth of a triple a game and also one aattached to the very sentimental god of war that i've also shared with him in the past ( they're some of his favorite games of all time, and he's especially knowledge on Norse stuff, so it's cute to listen to him ramble about it whenever actual mythology stuff comes up. Its absolutely adorable the way his voice lights up..! ) So, you'd expect the first piece of media i got through this month would be God of War Ragnarok, after all the time i've spent hyping it up already, while it's still fresh in my mind as of typing, And i'm on a massive, sentimental tangent on it, But...! TRUMP VS ILLUMINATI < Least Romantic Movie I've Personally Made Out With Someone Over >

theres not all that much to say on this movie as the title'd show, actually, and, obviously, the movie's a complete joke, through and through ( the titular protagonist isn't even the real deal, he's just a clone of the guy who lives on mars for whatever reason as the last human alive (?) ); and it's so ameturishly put together that i'm almost certain the entire scripting process of it was put together by looking at the title of the movie and quipping in a discord call brainstorming for a couple of hours, but it's absolutely great for virgining couples beccause you'll want to watch the movie for a bit, a bit that's been going on for i want to say little over three quarters of a year, but then, when you actually get to watching, it, you'lll both decide unilaterally to make out sloppy style instead of watching the movie, wow!

by the way, most of the movie is just weird little stock models talking at each other for what i rememeber being 50 or so minutes. i dont tihnk this is a good movie buut i thought itd be funny to bring up because in a shirtless daze after watching it i had the mortifying realization that this shitty movie was gonna be on the top of my media diary if i chose to go through with it . so here it is ! ! ! CATS & DOGS < tulpa movie >

idk what to blurb about this movie i think its entertainment value comes from the varied" WHAT DOES THIS IMPLYYY " moments in the movie and how like

excessively silly it is im not sure if it was this movie in particular but i have a very specific anecdote of this movie as a child before my parents divorce where i was actually Forced to watch it for some reason with my dad and with an anecdote like that the only thing i can think to say about it is that i think i actually enjoyed it more then Wonka theres some puppetry with the cat villain in this movie thats actually pretty endearing actually. its a decently entertaining spy movie. DOCTOR STRANGE

not having a title for this one isnt like reverence or anything i still watched this with my boyfriend in our little place and it was very enjoyable, and, in particualr, this was actually the first movie i watched of this list that i actually wanted to seek out to watch, actually! i've never been an mcu guy ( And, if you expect my movie reviews to professionalize, with like, research on the actors anything, you're dead wrong, i think , also. i think when it comes to assosiating characters with their actors or whatever celebrity or director or whatever, i just. .dont do that. i can see why normal people do but i dont have that built into me. so if i refer to a character it'll be for their character. ) i think this is a good movie i think this is a neat movie i think this a very pretty movie and i like mister stranges arch alot and i think it was really well characterized and enjoyable and id watch this movie again sometime maybe. im not a live action head but i think this movie just looks cool and is well presented in general. i think as an asshole mister strange is very watchable which is unusal for me cus i wince whenever characters do a thing thats like regrettable like noooo dont do that like an autistic weirdo but that wasnt really a problem with me for this movie i think its cool how this prick gets grounded by the fantastical shit in the movie and i think his little mini arch over the movie really stands out as a good character piece. thats all i have to say about it as someone who doesnt super hero movie this movie movies really good and stands on its own. i think its cool. i think this is a very enjoyable movie. i think people should watch it if theyre on the fence on it beingg mcu bc i dont think its like thoose other movies at all. im repeating myself. w/e Alot of early febuaary is characterized by movies bc i want to make it clear that the main game i played in that arch of time was God of War, and there were very much Not Media things that were more pressing for my time. lol VIDEO GAMES!!!! VIDEOVERSE < Most Heartwarming Eboy Game >

the docism i picked for this game sounds demeaning but thhis game is absolutely worth i think everyones time and if theres a game from febuary i'd make as a general reccomendation to my friends, it'd be this one, i think! it's an absolutely heartwarming narrative about an early 2000s era internet community that's being shut down, and its very resonant to at least Me, as a wii u / 3ds era fan

though it kinda melds that kinda stuff with a more early internet aestetic , which i think the combo works Really Well in terms of like vibe alone. the game is very naked with how it presents an early internet community and id describe it as being like hypnospace outlaw but without you the player being in the seat of like an internet moderator. Like you can moderate in the game a little bit but it's much less of a focus compared to the being in a game community with your friend aspect

this games a very well executed narrative about this emmet guy ( in the image above this one, he's on the far left of the screen ) and playing it as the first non GOW game of the week was definitely a choice i made that made me kinda sappy and clingy ( since its very much about the internet anxiety of losing a bunch of friends you care about due to dumb internet social media crap, which feels pretty well timed with this whole tumblr drama going on. also, as someone in a long distance relationship, the romance thing in this game also is pretty relatable in parts )

idk! its a very short game. i played it on deck and it was a very short but sweet pair of game sessions. i think if u like what you see here i reccomend giving it a shot if you're looking for a visual novel . ithink it is cute. if you like cute things this game is for Cute PRINCESS REMEDY IN A WORLD OF HURT < cute em' up where nobody has to die ! >

i actually falsely appraised this as gameboy color style when its supposed to be dos evokative. i knew i was missing something.

this is a free top down shmup game from steam about a cute healer girl! the game has really cute writing and is about an hour long. i think the writing makes it worth giving a try if you have an afternoon! the final boss is litearlly a guy with Every Disease that also has a refrence to ff6, so me being charmed by this game was kind of a given. Oops! I think more people should look at this game! it's worth it !

also, since everyone in the world of hurt has some kind of injury for you to remedy, some of the ones that get picked out are pretty amusing, also. its usually structured around " heres the problem with me " dialogue and " thank goodness im better " dialogue. this game is also for the gays because u can marry whoever you want after the credits. Yay! SUPER MONKEY BALL 3D < worst game icon ive ever seen for a video game award >

the games just kind of mediocre and the only reason i downloaded it is bc it was on 3ds and i just want to point out the games icon is Just a low resolution picture of ai ais face on a white bg. i think thats funny but the games so easy that thats pretty much the only novelty you'll extract of it if youre a monkey ball fan. oops .

something like this ive spent longer trying to find this games home menu icon then thinking about the game after playing it sorry i dodnt think this game is worth that just kind of sad

MEGAMAN XTREME

no reverence for this either pretty much all the games thatre gonna be talked about thatre on 3ds were just me looking through hshop slightly interested in something to do while waiting for my bf to wake up for more gow

all i can really say is that this game is a gameboy demake of the x games thats just slightly worse and going in with that expectation is correct but also its just Really annoying sometimes is very much a game where the levels are short and easy and the boss fights are kind of choppily designed and difficult and i think finishing this game was kind of more of an act of stubbornness then anything. theres this one boss second to last from sigma thats just killing this boss that spams 4 nearly undodgable spammy fast projectiles while you're on two tiny platforms over death spikes and i think that kind of speaks for how much id reccomend this ( not at all ) i think this is the angriest ive been at a game in a bit actually remembering it . i think i said a funny misnomer about it but i dont remember. something about this contributing to why mega man fucking died or something. im realizing i didnt actually consume alot of good media this month took a break writing this on leap day and umm FIRE EMBLEM WARRIORS ( The 3ds version ) < POPCORN VIDEO GAME >

as someone whose never played a dynasty warriors type game this was actually a little less boring then i was expecting it ? you'd assume picking the switch or wii u version would be more ideal, but, as someone whose favorite console is the 3ds , and considering it'd take less time to download to my system, i ended up picking this version. it actually runs pretty well and my only real complaint is that the character i wanted to play as is thuroughly stuck into the post game ( Celica from FE echoes ).

functionally this is kind of just a game that exists to be a stim device while you're in like a voice call or something but at that its pretty good from what ive played. used minerva for most of it and it wasnt too hard but not especially annoying either. its okay. i never got to unlock celica though ( bummed out ) and its not bad at all for somemthing i pretty much only played to pass the time between when my BF was awake to watch me play god of war, which it succeeded at. ive played every FE naturally available on the 3ds. TOM AND JERRY WILL WONKA & THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY

huh what happened howd this happen

guh MARIO MAKER 3DS

game i actually owned legitimately that i forgot i did. technically since the games are going down in a month from now this is my way on reminicing on Maker in general , but i mostly just reflected back on itt as a cute wii u memory and that cute packet that comes boxed with the game. the 100 or so challenge levels in this are neat but not Especially special. kind of existed to pad out the games i've tried and finished this year so far to an even 15. its not bad or anything, it did remind me of a few interactions i didnt know about before. maybe sometime before maker 2 goes down ill finish making that super world i started on when the game was new... putting all my thoughts togetherrrrr GOD OF WAR RAGNAROK

Igod of war ragnarok is pretty cool. for context, im pretty sure the first game of the i wanna say ps4 " duo " of norse GOW games are the two video games that both started me on my ps4 journey recently and got me and my boyfriend together? which i think is very sweet its also very unexpected cus other then being a soft mythology nut i dont see how id get into these kinds of games naturally, considering i'm less genre savvy when it comes to i guess " modern-style " story focused 3d adventures. Considering i'm a nintendo head, these could count as some of the only super duper gamerhead games i've ever played? though i don't know if it means anything when i say that . i think this game definitely needs the groundwork of the first gow to stand up, but, thats not a bad thing, its a very well thought out start to end NARRATIVE, and its a really good one at that. lots of well thought out character interactions and setpieces,a friend of mine described it as a universal ride-style game , and , in terms of linearity, it kind of IS that, but in like the most postive way i can think of in terms of the kinds of games i play , this is probably the drop-dead most prettiest game i've ever looked at from start to finish ( When it comes to detail and realism, i mean. .i think its very pretty to just look at the environments n stuff ) god of war ragnarok is pretty cool. for context, im pretty sure the first game of the i wanna say ps4 " duo " of norse GOW games are the two video games that both started me on my ps4 journey recently and got me and my boyfriend together? which i think is very sweet its also very unexpected cus other then being a soft mythology nut i dont see how id get into these kinds of games naturally, considering i'm less genre savvy when it comes to i guess " modern-style " story focused 3d adventures. Considering i'm a nintendo head, these could count as some of the only super duper gamerhead games i've ever played? though i don't know if it means anything when i say that . i think this game definitely needs the groundwork of the first gow to stand up, but, thats not a bad thing, its a very well thought out start to end NARRATIVE, and its a really good one at that. lots of well thought out character interactions and setpieces,a friend of mine described it as a universal ride-style game , and , in terms of linearity, it kind of IS that, but in like the most postive way i can think of in terms of the kinds of games i play , this is probably the drop-dead most prettiest game i've ever looked at from start to finish ( When it comes to detail and realism, i mean. .i think its very pretty to just look at the environments n stuff ) ( I have screenshots of the game on my ps4, but as i'm a day late to uploading this in the first place, i'm too lazy to both fetch them with my capture card and upload them to an image sharing site, so here's a picture of Jalla, a cute cow critter you get to ride in the game thaat made me very happy . )

I've heard of games that take up entire segments of people's lives for months , and while i've played lots of " longer " games, gow despite being shorter then something like SMT 4 is definitely one of the first games i've played thats been defined like that to me. i dont wanna say too much on the plot because i think these games are worth playing back to back on their own merits, though for me the experience definitely was raised above by , you know, sharing it with the love of my life, haha. its very cute to listen to someone visibly light up when talking about a game and its definitely my boyfriends infectiousness for the game that motivated me to keep coming back to it and dig for all the little details, even if i play 3d games like this like a game's journalist.... but yea god of war is really good i dont want to spoil anything on it but even if you haavent played the past games but have a ps4 and an appreciation for storytelling, i'd definitely reccomend it. Surprisingly cozy, heartfelt story on parenting and war and lingering regret n junk. also i like mimir alot hes silly and brok theres alot of characters in this i like alot

if you know you know TERMINATOR 2

oh yea i watched terminator 2 also very gripping very cool top moms in media for sure i can see why this is a classic movie it abosluely rocks and i was technically present for the voice call where they watched the first movie but i wasnt paying attention to it at all whoops thats technically the last of the new media i did but i also tried out a pokemon X nuzlocke and i replayed king of cards which was really fun and i remembered how much i liked madam meeber

the nuzlocke was a disaster but i actually did do it so winner

im sure there was other stuff too but im tired of typing and i forgot CLICKING SEND!!!!!

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noodleblade · 8 months

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Miscellaneous Tag Game (stolen title <3)

thank you bestie:3 @searchingfortheuniverse I'll be working on this while im on and off phone calls~

A band you don’t like that many others do: UM idk...my music taste is all over the place and I really only know the bands i think?? oh- maybe Mother Mother, only because I have not bothered to listen to their music past Junkrat hype videos and that's probably tainted my view a little. For better or for worse.

A childhood memory that you remember vividly: during a summer in greece, idk how, but I got roped into selling watermelons off the side of the road. I couldn't have been more than 6 or 7, but I remember I would put the watermelon in a plastic bag and the farmers thought it was really funny because that's such a...united states thing...to bag 1 whole watermelon in plastic. Anyways, they paid me in cucumber slices with salt.

Least favorite animal and why: HUH LEAST. I'm not a huge fan of like reptiles? Specifically those smaller than a bread box. Too fast, too squirm. Im worried I'll crush them in my hands. (im thinking of specifically florida geckos...idk they are cute but i freak out trying to hold them).

Hot fandom take: just because something is popular and fandom-wide accepted doesn't mean it is good. and not agreeing with it/wanting to engage in it doesn't mean you or your own opinions are bad. the monopoly on accepted 1 true canon is boring.

Do you wear any jewelry, if so, what’s your favorite piece: I try an rotate my jewelry around but I'm usually wearing a few rings, a necklace and a pair of earrings. My favorites are the rings. They are my mom's old ones and I typically wear the same two every day. One is a gold key of greece and the other is a thin black bar but the sides have really small thin heart cut outs.

A movie others liked but you didn’t: HMMMMM probably the new star wars trilogy. felt unnecessary and i just didn't like it? big shruggies

Three things you love about yourself: my writing- its something that I enjoy the most in the world and something that I can claim as mine. I also think I'm pretty funny in a sillay way which is poggers. I like my openness to trying things. Think that's helped make me more well-rounded. I hope so at least.

A place you hope to visit in the future and why: HMMMMM. I want to visit Japan again. For a new place, I want to go to South America. Peru maybe??? Mexico would also be nice. So that's what I'm gearing up towards next.

An actor that gets on your nerves and why: Uh Matt Smith? No reason behind this. but I see his block head and kind of just look away.

Things you’re excited for in the nearby future? I have a lot of little house projects I finally feel like tackling which is exciting. Ive lived in my house for almost 2.5 years and still havent felt like parts of it are complete yet.

Least favorite ship in a fandom you’re in: oof I lowkey kind of hate saying things I don't like on here. bad experiences in the past when people were upset I didn't like a thing they did and got mad at me. But uhhh not the biggest fan of most rodimus ships? but I think mega/rod is my least favorite of them. sorry!

What’s the most toxic fandom you’ve been in? hahaahahahhahahah can you believe Game of Thrones wasn't the most toxic???? it was jjba. I got put on a ban list which was kind of funny. I also got kind of show-ponyed in a toxic discord server for a while which has completely ruined me in the ability to act normal on discord outside of my irl friends. that account is deleted but the ao3 is still circling around.

List three things you find beautiful about life: Friends and family- sometimes I want to kill but I really do love them so so much. I like creating things and creating things with people. I also really like my area as far as nature goes. the beach to swamp ratio sings to me.

Any dreams for the future? I want to go on a really long hike. Maybe like a 2 day one? (< says the person that has gone on a max 2 hour hike before). Also just working on my original fiction again. I miss those fellas.

How are you really feeling today? Motivated!!!! Im a little groggy still, but I've been really excited about life and betterment lately so its overcoming my sleepy brain.

Tags: feel free to do or not: @honkytonka, @elmonstro, @huanted-dennys, @feral-birb-husband, @solarstormstuff @anyone else who wants to!! I'd be happy to read them:3

#tag game #me stuff

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whatareyoudoingwithamaserati · 1 month

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yessss, two friends showed me jennifers body a couple years ago! the movie deserves every single bit of hype it gets, i had so much fun, it was delicious!

(if you have more recs? 👀👀 I love literary/audio horror but ive been too... idk, scared? because i don't know what i like when it comes to visuals?)

LET’S GOOOOO!!! I put off watching Jennifer’s Body for so long because I was worried it would not live up to the hype but MAN was it worth it. They have been plaguing my thoughts ever since. I am especially a massive fan of the costume design because they NAILED that shit!!

Admittedly I’m more into horror movies than novels (it is . So hard to read these days) and podcasts have never caught my fancy, but it would feel wrong to not recommend sign here by Claudia Lux and the ever infamous American psycho by Bret Easton Ellis. I actually haven’t finished American psycho because it is a dense read but my god it’s a beautiful masterpiece of a book and I did not expect it to be as hilarious as it is

Movie wise I tend to jump all over the place and watch whatever catches my fancy so this is. Not a very cohesive rec list and not full of very many older homoerotic movies but. I plan to watch more when I can

First and foremost I am an absolute die hard fan of house of 1000 corpses. I cannot put into words how much I love it in all of its weirdness. It was made by rob zombie of living dead girl fame and you can TELL in the best of ways. It’s got fun colour grading, excessive swearing, weird ass characters, and such a fun setting. I’d say it’s on the medium-heavy side of gore with a couple of body horror scenes and a good bit of blood and mutilation. The seocnd movie is good, third eh, but you don’t actually need to watch those two. They take the camp of the first movie and turn it into a more gritty realistic energy that is almost meanspirited in nature

I’m a HUGE cabin fever fan and I will recommend it at every chance I get, BUT! There is a caveat and that is that it is not only significantly gory but also that it is weird, campy, kitschy, and a real big fan of slurs, LOL. I think we hit several n-words, an r-word or two, and some use of faggot. Some of the later scenes are downright WEIRD but despite it all it is one of my favourite horrors with some really haunting scenes

Hellraiser in general is a wonderful franchise, I love Clive Barker’s choice to base the cenobites around a mix of BDSM and gay culture and how he characterizes pinhead, even if the later movies fuck it up a little. The 2022 standalone is a huge favourite in particular, I love the imagery and the cenobite redesigns that lean heavier into body horror as well as the cinematography. Jamie Clayton’s pinhead is fucking INCREDIBLE to boot

If you like erotic horror, X is definitely a good one to watch - the plot centres around sex workers determined to make an erotic film and make it big, with some immaculate commentary on desirability, beauty, and aging. Good bit of tits and ass in that one, as well as medium level gore. It also has two sequels, Pearl and MaXXXine, which are set in the past and future respectively. Pearl was secretly shot at the same time as X in the same location and focuses on the lust for fame, the need to make it big, and a youthful mania of sorts coming from Pearl. MaXXXine I haven’t actually seen yet so I cannot say much about it, but I hope to get to it soon!

The fear street trilogy is also a remarkably well done series that seamlessly covers one long tangled mystery throughout three different timelines, using the same handful of actors for each one! The use of setting and cinematography is so fuckint cool, the eventual mystery reveal is absolutely wild, and there’s even a canon queer relationship! The gore isn’t too bad, I’d say light but there are some moments that push it to a medium at best

Ready or Not is a movie I enjoy for a variety or reasons (I think the iconic shot of Grace in a ripped and bloody wedding dress is pretty big on the internet), from the setting to the storytelling to Samara Weaving’s fucking banshee screams, with medium-light gore (though the bits that do show up are impactful as all hell. Cabin in the Woods is fun as a deconstruction of the horror genre (and a story that theoretically makes every single horror movie made canon, wow), though it’s also just really fucking funny. Another medium gore!

Candyman 2021 is a brilliant take on an old legacy of movies (again, no previous ones need watching) with a wonderful exploration of gentrification, black trauma, and what makes the candyman the candyman. I know I keep talking about cinematography but holy fuck, the multimedia use in this film in particular. Immaculate. I feel practically obligated to recommend Deathgasm, which is an indie horror with some pretty wicked gore, if not just because the main characters are all metalheads, and as one myself, it’s SO COOL to see us as protags in a horror movie

Last but not least, Prey 2022. Holy fuck, Prey is an utter masterpiece. It’s the latest addition to the predator franchise, another one of those ones you don’t Need to have watched in order to watch prey, but havint seen them gives the watching experience a good bit more depth, with iconic lines being given a new spin. It’s technically a prequel to the first ever predator movie, focusing on one of the first few appearances of a predator on earth (ehhh debatable considering the canon of aliens vs predator but I’m ignoring that for the sake of conciseness), giving it more a more basic appearance and weapons, while also letting it kick absolute ASS. The plot is incredible, the cinematography is incredible, the CGI animals are so much better than ever expected, and it’s also the first ever feature length film to ever have an official Comanche dub!!! Holy fuck!!

As a bonus, though I haven’t seen it, Doctor Sleep also seems like a really well done movie! It’s based off of the Stephen King book set after the shining, reprising and revisiting a lot of iconic moments to tell a new story with fucking incredible visuals that put their own spin on the shining

#SORRY FOR THE RAMBLE. I AM A BIT AUTISTIC ABOUT HORROR #it’s such a passion genre for me :3 #ALSO HIIIIIII it’s always nice seeing you around :]#asks #cats.txt

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ultravioart · 2 years

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fan theories, crew member teases and common aus aside, how to you suppose peepers and hater met? ive heard that it was supposed to be huge in terms of their backstory

In canon? iirc they met as teenagers in high scool. I personally like to image they met in first year of college on the cusp of adulthood.

It would allow for more independence/freedom as college students than if they were highschoolers, and would explain how they were able to live in a van on an endless road trip. Then again, WoY is very old school in some respects, so maybe they really did run away together as teens. But, I like to think it was college, or at least Peepers was already in college. Maybe Peepers being so smart, he had dual enrollment in high school? idk

Since it was supposed to be a huge lore drop for backstory, I imagine Hater met Peepers on the watchdog home planet, since that's one way of explaining Peepers' backstory pretty easily. If not on the watchdog home world, it would be at some space academy or something lol.

Either way, I like to think Peepers saw Hater for the ultimate powerhouse he was, day one. Lord Hater fit perfectly into Peepers' galactic conquest plans as the ideal front man. And... Hater didn't make fun of him like others did. In fact, they bullied people... together (insert heart emojis). Peeps was absolutely floored by Hater at first sight, of course, but Peepers wasn't completely gone for Hater just yet. It would take a few years of evil villain routine and getting to know Hater more for Peepers to REALLY fall for him. Being his biggest fan was one thing, but romance was out of the question entirely: he had an evil job to do! And Hater was such a pain sometimes... immature... stubborn... gross... cruel... strong... big... intimidating... powerful... handsome.... Over the years, Peepers eventually realizes that his tool to success was more than an amazing tool... realizing Hater was his everything and that he truly loved the big lug terrified Peepers inside, but he was in too deep to turn back now! <3 gg Love wins in the end, evil be damned lol

On the other hand, I think when the two first met, young Hater was drifting around from planet to planet until he stumbled to that school. Maybe it was just the usual road tripping stop, or maybe Hater was taken in by nice locals and placed in school. We know his backstory suggested he was quite academically skilled, so I imagine school might have had a homey feeling for Hater. Something about academia felt right within his vague memories of his past astronaut life. If it was a college, that would make sense, libraries were probably a great way for Hater to stay warm on chilly nights, too. If it was a high school, I can imagine Hater being the 'cool kid' / 'bad boy' 17 year old playing guitar on the roof of his van and roasting students that walk by in the parking lot lmao. Probably hung around the school grounds because he didn't have a proper place to stay.

From how Peepers talked about the van, it seems like Hater had it before meeting Peepers? I think if Peepers ever asked about where Hater lived/family, Hater would have said he ran away from home. Peepers might have even been inspired to run away with Hater because of that lie. The idea of escaping and starting anew was very promising for Peepers. As previously stated in other posts, Peepers was probably the first person to ever see Hater for how great he truly was, and that will always make Peepers special to Hater. Best buds for life! But don't tell Peepers that, Peepers WILL cry in public. Also, cute eye-guy is cute, extremely loyal, and a great hype man for a sick rock band filled with watchdog army groupies. lol. I can imagine Peepers probably nudged Hater from a bully rockstar route to ultimate evildoer route as a 'better' way to 'be popular' across the galaxy. I honestly think Hater had a lot of rage, but idk if Hater was "blow up a moon, evil cackle, and terrorize millions as they chant your name" rage level like Peepers was. But Peepers can really sell a pitch, and the rest was history.

That, and a few months later a 'totally not a couple' marriage license they got in Vas Legas so they could get an initial loan for the skull ship. Partners in crime AND taxes! Hater has no recollection of this.

I'd also like to imagine, even with Hater having some blurry memories of his previous 'planet of the apes/astro-ape' life, his memories would come back over time. Hater knows a lot, hides a lot, and he is incredibly smart and highly educated. And yet, he lets Peepers be 'the smart guy', because either Hater is too embarrassed to be "a smart nerd" or Hater just wanted to give Peepers something to feel superior about (which is a nice thing to do, but Hater is NOT NICE. HE IS MEAN! BAD!!!! A VILLAIN!!! ...right?). And then Hater roasts Peepers for being a beep boop bop lame nerd bc Hater can't express his feelings correctly lol.

Fr Peepers' reaction to Hater knowing space physics junk will never not be funny to me. I imagine back in the day that realization would have been a mid-life crisis of "oh grob he's SMARTER THAN ME?? SINCE WHEN? WILL I BE REPLACED? HAS HE BEEN PATRONIZING ME THIS WHOLE TIME BECAUSE I AM THAT PATHETIC TO HIM???" but now bc Peepers is so smitten and full of love for Hater it's a full blast of "oh my grob he's actually applying himself for once, I'm so proud, he's the greatest thing to ever exist, I'm so proud!!!!!!! I love him so much, sobbing crying tears!!!!!" LMAO. tfw ur inferiority/superiority complex gets stomped out by your undying love for your sir.

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minheeskitten · 10 months

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oh my god yes i'm so living to see more people hyped about the bear hybrid fic 🔥🔥🔥 on the edge of my seat for siren ivan as well, but lord, that nonpainful barbed dick is a gift 😭

how's your wip progress going? i want to chat more often but you know how it is at this time of the year 😭 ~🩷

Yes! People are excited for bear hybrid jahan and i am SO happy to hear that!

Barbed dick bear boy has however not gotten much continuation as ive been focusing on finishing siren!ivan

However!!! Siren ivan will be turned form a oneshot to a series of oneshots!! (Do not tell me to put them in the same book i beg of you i need the kudos)

So, ill be finishing that up pretty soon and then going to add a second wip for it! Pt 2 may or may not include other misadventures:)

I fully understand that you get busy anonie dw!! Ive been linda busy these past three days so ive been struggling to answer request asks!

I have a few i need to answer but i may not get to them all tonight! Hope you all understand 😅

#asks <3 #anons <3 #🩷 anon #love mail <3

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biolizardboils · 2 years

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sad i cant get Frontiers yet. im gonna gush about the Knuckles short so i wont be so sad

so it took me a week to realize the prologue comic and this short have different subtitles. the comic has Convergence and the short has Divergence. the acts of coming together and coming apart, respectively. hmm

also for anyone who missed it: this year, official Sonic social media said “here’s some fun material to get you caught up on series lore, also SURPRISE these are canon and take place just before the next game!” the timeline for this material is as follows: TailsTube (video series) >> Prologue: Convergence (comic) >> Prologue: Divergence (animation). if you haven’t seen them yet, enjoy!

on to the actual short: man. game-wise, Angel Island has been kinda irrelevant the entire time i’ve been into Sonic, zone reuse aside. i read up on its history, the games it was used in, and i revered it as the lore’s first big cornerstone. but outside of fanfiction it never really felt like it mattered until lately. i’ll shut up about it eventually, but damn, shit’s had me like this all year

so now that Classic-era lore and Everything After aren’t walled off from each other anymore, i guess the M.E. has two shrines (the indoor one in Hidden Palace, and the outdoor one seen from SA1 onward) and Knuckles moves it between them for some reason. you’d think he’d just keep it in the first one instead of letting it make a big green Come-Steal-Me beacon in the sky lol. maybe it’s an ancient custom, or he just wanted the rain to wash it

i love Flickies :) idek why, i just do. funy birdy

“Perhaps it’s karma...” Knuckles sweetie no!! your ancestors’ mistakes should not be yours to bear!!

TIKAAAAL MY DAUGHTERRRR

i like how this flashback clarifies two things the original SA1 cutscene didn’t, one happy-ish and one sad. on one hand, at least some of the trampled Chao could get up right after, instead of them all laying there dead (that freaked me out when i first played it). on the other, Pachacamac violently threw aside his own daughter. between this and popping Longclaw in the SCU, this guy just keeps getting worse

Perfect Chaos’ roar is so uniquely gorgeous for a 25-year-old soundbite.. the chills i got when the screen went white and it rang out...

“The question is: whose power was it originally? Who build this shrine to the Emeralds, and where did they go?” holy shit holy shit holy shit?? like?? ive wondered about the Emeralds’ origins before, but i never thought the series would address it. im not even sure i want them to address it; it’s been up for fan speculation for so long that an official answer might not live up to the hype. that being said they’ve got my full fucking attention

Tikal and Chaos are still around :’’’) its cool that they can come down from Sonic’s World Heaven whenever they like apparently

its also cool that Knuckles casually follows Tikal’s light ball. i wonder if that happens often, her pointing him towards cool shit on the Island

still not over Chao living in Sky Sanctuary man;; its so obvious that i cant believe it was never shown before! like of course Chao live on the Island, they lived near the shrine in the past! of course they live in this zone specifically, its like the Hero Garden but 10x bigger!

the gorgeous shot of Knuckles twirling in the air!! he was dodging buildings but he was enjoying himself at the same time!!

shoutout to Pablo, my spoiled NiGHTS Chao in SA1 that i haven’t visited in years lol

so many questions about the Koco Thing the Chao wanted... is it just a mask, or the front half of a real Koco’s corpse? if the latter’s true, where’s the back half? the Gear Thing looked like it fit snugly underneath the face, as if it’d been inside the Koco. i doubt Sonic’s gonna have to crack these Baby Rocks open to collect Gears, but the framing here looks too intentional. (if the game answers any of this please don’t tell me i wanna find out on my own)

speaking of spoilers there’s now no spoiler-free way for me to look up what the thing Knux put the Gear in is called so im stuck calling them Ancient Lawn Chairs

his goofy ahhh scream when he comes out the other end lmaoo

“Oh, an ambush, huh? Your funeral.” bro the delivery there....

the way the music cuts off as he prepares the punch and comes ROARING back in when it hits!!!!! i took Katie and Tyson’s advice and watched this on my big TV and i swear the impact SHOOK my whole house it went SO HARD

the fucking GASHES he makes on the third robot i FELT that shit. i felt his POWER, the WEIGHT of his every move throughout the whole scene. from that first punch something different started to happen it was amazing

AND THEN HE BRINGS THE WHOLE CLIFF CRASHING DOWN OH MY GOD

Sonic and Knuckles will see a robot teetering on a ledge and say “is anyone else gonna style on this guy?” and then not wait for an answer

“AND AFTER I WIN--” god i LOVE his confidence here

and then the floating angry preschooler brought out her biggest toy and said “bet” zcxvcbnm

fr tho what did Sage do to him?? did she Orb him immediately or did the Big Thing kick his ass first

poignant call back to the opening monologue aside, Knuckles’ screaming made me think of this lol

“But sometimes...” Knuckles. sweetheart. no man is an (Angel) island. sounds like you need another lesson on the true superpower of teamwork. ill try to give you one when i get the game and free you

I’m Here’s drop over the credits and Sega’s eye logo joined forces to jumpscare me back-to-back lol

i aint got no deep final thoughts but god damn these shorts just keep getting better exponentially, what kinda black magic they doing over there

#sonic the hedgehog #sonic frontiers #sonic frontiers prologue #sonic frontiers prologue divergence #knuckles the echidna #frontiers prologue #frontiers prologue divergence #knuckles #me talking #sth #frontiers #long #caps tw #onewaydreamcore

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bowserphobia · 1 year

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the 3k word mario movie review

here are my first thoughts on the mario movie. i'm probably gonna end up watching it again but i think ive had enough time to think about it to get my thoughts straight on what i think! even with how long this is, i'm sure i forgot stuff, but i hit on everything major i think.

tl;dr: 7/10. preddy good.

alright so under the cut is gonna be me being wayyyy too much about super mario brothers, so be ready for that. (but if you're following me then that's probably what you want LOL.) half mario review, half personal essay. very little chris pratt talk. i make fun of a lot of stuff but only because i love Mario so much. if you're mad at me for my Hot Mario Takes, just remember that i care about this more than anything and i'm going to die alone probably.

this is REALLY long and i'm sorry. spoilers, obviously.

my background/perspective: i'm closer to 30 than 20, and i've been a fan of mario since i could look at a tv screen. my introduction was the first Mario Kart game. Mario was my first ever online fandom, going on mario fansites like Lemmy's Land and Neglected Mario Characters was how i learned how to use the internet. a lot of my sense of humor and artistic style comes from the mario franchise, especially Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door (if you can believe it lol.) i wrote a mario high school au fic when i was 8 years old. i'm cringe and i'm proud.

i also went to school for animation. i fucking love cartoons. so, needless to say, i was hyped for this movie, even not being the biggest fan of Illumination as a studio. i had measured expectations, but i really went in wanting to like the movie. (which i did, but not in so few words.) i was just as prepared to not like it, and i didn't want to get too excited for something that might not live up to my expectations. yeah yeah, it's just The Mario Movie. well, i love movies and i love mario.

i avoided watching a lot of trailers past the first couple, but i was aware of the content of them. mostly through tumblr gifs, lol. so i went in medium-cold.

as expected by now, the movie looked amazing. Illumination has always had great character animation, but imo this is the best looking movie they've ever made. the environments, especially the ones with mushrooms, were gorgeous. The movie started with that Bowser scene from one of the trailers where he destroys the ice castle. it was cool seeing the full version of the scene, and when Bowser said, "...or DIE!" i was like "oooh. he's a little scary 😈"

before i get any deeper into it i just want to say: this was a movie for babies. obviously, it's the Super Mario Brothers movie. i think everyone is going to go in knowing that. the showing i was at was full of kids, a lot of them in costume or carrying Yoshi plushies. They would cheer at stuff and laugh at the silly slapstick humor, and i honestly think that enhanced the experience. a kid yelled "RAINBOW ROAD, BABY!" and it was amazing! that's Mario, fun for the whole family.

second thing: kid's movie ≠ bad movie. everyone should know this by now, in this post-puss-in-boots world. i would not compare the mario movie to puss in boots, by the way, it's just fresh in my mind and also based off existing kid's media. the only thing they truly have in common is the medium. their target audience is different, even if the vast majority wouldn't notice. like, i wouldn't bring a toddler to puss in boots, but i would to the mario movie. Bowser is not actually going to murder anybody. mario is also not gonna kill him at the end. nobody is gonna DIE in the mario movie.

all this to say. i was dazzled by the imagery in the opening scene for the usual reasons i like Illumination - the set pieces were huge and detailed, the lighting is amazing and atmospheric, the synergy between the character animation and the voice acting is solid. i especially liked the part when Kamek enchanted the pieces of rubble to make stairs for Bowser to walk up, it showed what their relationship is like and what a toady (ha-ha) Kamek is. (not the characterization i would go for with Kamek but *big heavy dramatic sigh* WHATEVER)

so, that scene ends. we cut to Mario and Luigi's commercial, which i LOVED. i thought it was so fun, and i love the analog quality to it and how DIY it was. and the best part for me - i love that we're in Brooklyn, NY!! when that first trailer dropped and i realized the movie was gonna be an isekai, i was so so happy. it's my favorite version of mario bros canon, and one of the few things in actual canon that i think gives Mario depth. it's compelling to me, the idea of a regular blue collar dude who's maybe in his 30s (mario is not 24 and i will die on this hill) who gets spirited away to a magical land where he doesn't belong, but he helps save the day because he wants to (and maybe he falls in love along the way??) uh put a pin in that thought i guess.

so, the dialogue starts, and it hits me - okay, this move is gonna be kinda stupid.

maybe that's harsh? let me try to explain what i mean. it was immediately apparent that this was going to be a funny, silly movie that wasn't gonna be too serious. the comedy is broad. when they walk by Foreman Spike and he's like "YOU'RE A LOOSAH, MARIO! YOU'LL ALWAYS BE A LOOSAH" or whatever, i was like, okay. we're not getting a Deep Mario Character Study. not that that's what i expected, of course, i'm just a weirdo who has dedicated his life to Deep Mario Character Studies. That's a me problem. but i still half expected mario to go "oh yeah, Foreman Spike from Wrecking Crew for NES (1985)? You won't be laughing when I become Nintendo + Illumination: The Super Mario Bros. Movie!" so i don't LOVE that vibe

okay, i'm like 2% of the way into the movie and this is already spiraling out of amuck. my point is that i'm not going to knock this movie for the things it isn't. it has that sorta glossy rounded-edges writing that movies from this studio have. in a way, it the writing is like a mario game. illumination + nintendo is kind of a match made in heaven.

for the rest of this manifesto, i'm going to divide my thoughts into three sections: stuff i liked, stuff i didn't like, and stuff i had complicated feelings about.

stuff i liked

Firstly, MARIO'S FAMILY! maybe the highlight of the whole movie for me. i knew we'd get Brooklyn, but seeing the whole Mario fam was a shock. not a lot of fanworks give them a big family like that, so it was nice to see! everyone looked great, and it was so cool to see mario and luigi in that context.

and Mario's bedroom?? was SO cute. im gonna have to pause and zoom and see what's in there because i dont remember the details but like i said, the environments are SO solid, and that doesn't stop for the Real World scenes. Brooklyn is just as gorgeous and detailed as the Mushroom Kingdom. the movie was never boring to look at.

seriously, the look of this movie is INSANE. That initial little Mushroom Grove location knocked my socks off, it reminded me of The Great Mission to Rescue Princess Peach, which is the highest compliment I can give to this movie. the visuals were absolutely off the hook.

the character design was also really nice, which i was a little worried about going in. there's this tendency with some artists to make Peach an ethereal boobie goddess and Mario a little baby goblin sprite, so i liked that they looked like they could smooch if they wanted to. (they didn't.) i knew it would be a fine line to walk between staying true to the in-game renders of the characters and keeping things visually interesting/fresh and new, and I think they walked that line well. everybody looked like they were drawn from the same hand. the visual style of the film was the most cohesive part of it.

the action scenes were really fun to watch, and i loved that scene in Brooklyn when Mario is parkouring around the city with Luigi stumbling behind him. they did a good job making Brooklyn really lively and exciting in its movements. everything was super bouncy!

the Mario Kart sequence was REALLY fun and I'm mostly putting this here for how much my dad loved it. it had everything you could want from Mario Kart on the big screen, and the little speedrunning maneuver Mario does was great.

Bowser. maybe the best performance in the movie, which is par for the course for Jack Black showing up in movies. i think everyone agrees on this so i won't go on too much, but for the most part i liked his characterization. i love a goofy bowser, and i like that his actions had consequences in the end, too. i always loved the games where Bowser is on your side. in my opinion, he's at his best when he's a petulant manlizardbaby, not the Supreme Lord of Darkness.

bowser in a jar at the end was really funny. Make That Guy Tiny! i also love the implication that without Bowser telling them what to do, the Koopa army just kinda chills out. i like that vibe.

stuff i didn't like

The trailers gave too much away. I feel bad because this isn't a knock on the movie on its own, but like, EVERYTHING luigi did the whole movie was in the trailers. like, for how short the movie was, it's insane how much they showed. speaking of which...

god bless Illumination and their tight 90 minute runtimes. (this was 92, actually! yay!) the movie overall felt very fast, which in the action/platforming scenes was great! but most of the time, it just forces the plot to happen to the characters while they're tossed around like ragdolls. at one point i remember saying to my dad, "why is mario like this? he's just down for whatever." (put a pin in that. meanwhile...)

here's that pin from earlier! this is a big one for me - i thought every piece of dialogue between Mario and Peach was disappointing. their first meeting was weird as hell, and it gets worse. it's a symptom of the larger problem of things being really rushed - there's almost no time for characters to interact with each other. a lot is resting on existing relationship dynamics. Mario and Luigi as brothers, Peach and Bowser as old enemies, Peach and her toads' bond, ect. The most developed relationship between two characters who meet during the events of the movie is Mario and Donkey Kong, which... sorry DK stans, but it just isn't my jam.

with Luigi being the one kidnapped, i thought maybe we'd have some sort of relationship form between Mario and Peach in the meantime, and i guess it did? kinda? like i said a million words ago, nothing ever really gets too deep. they have conversations looking out onto vast beautiful landscapes, and in romantic fire flower fields, but... i don't know, they just seem like work friends. they don't really talk about anything serious, and even when they do, it just feels like the scene ends right when it's gonna get good. and the one moment where mario is "flirting" with her gets ruined by Donkey Kong. so, that's cool.

Luigi didn't do shit! not even a hot gay sex scene with Bowser he just gets captured, almost dies in lava, and then Mario rescues him. as a Mario stan (and comparing this to the live action movie for a sec) i did appreciate the focus on Mario, but it's such a shame that Luigi didn't really get to do much besides sit in a box. :(

To me, the overall structure of the movie was pretty weak. There were so many cool parts, but it just never really coagulated into anything cohesive narratively to me. a huge part of that was that the stakes weren't really there. and it's not that big, dramatic things didn't HAPPEN, the characters just didn't give the weight and gravitas to them one might expect.

the licensed music fucking sucked, but thats par the course for this studio so it didnt surprise me. it made me angry the same way Suicide Squad did, because i'm not against licensed music as a concept. (see: breaking bad/bettercallsaul, shrek, ect.) it's just like, don't go with the FIRST song you think of, y'know? or, like, why BOTHER with something like Mario, which has SO much established score you could do instead.

Mario Not Liking Mushrooms is on the tier of Cruella de Ville's mom being killed by dalmatians or whatever. it made my dad laugh, though.

this is not a knock on finding the movie funny - i was laughing throughout most of it - but it has this self-aware thing about it that a lot of movies have nowadays that i just do not find charming. the whole "oh, these bricks are just FLOATING here? well THAT just happened" or "you mean i have to EAT mushrooms?? but i HATE mushrooms! this is the OPPOSITE of what i want!" it's just so... bland. it doesn't have its own identity. it's studio-funny and really, really safe. (it's Nintendo + illumination: The Super Mario Bros. Movie.)

this last point might be controversial, but i hated the scene with Mario and Luigi as babies. i thought it was dumb and bad. by far, was my least favorite scene. it just felt so... i don't know. it was just a bit much. i'll expand more on why in the 'complicated feelings' section, but i just want to shine a spotlight on that scene as the low point of the movie for me. but my grandma liked it, so i'm probably just a hater.

(VERY close second was the one where Bowser is practicing what to say to Peach, then it cuts to Kamek in a wig. booooo! *throws tomatoes*)

stuff i had complicated feelings about

pratt did fine. it's really easy to forget about the man and just see the character, which is a huge compliment. celebrity voice actors are an industry problem (one that Illumination contributes to a LOT tbf) and i think the fact that pratt kinda 'disappeared into the role' was a plus. it still kinda feels like a silly casting choice overall, though. i remember watching the Nintendo direct live where they announced it, and i was gasping for air from laughing so hard, i had to pause it. but anyway, this is just my own taste, and probably nostalgia from the Super Show, but i prefer a more curmudgeonly, Brooklyn-accented Mario. so for me, pratt did fine.

bowser. i loved jack black's performance and he struck the tone for bowser that i was looking for, but as a big fan of Tenacious D, some parts were less "bowser as a character" and more "Tenacious D song from Bowser's POV." Of everything i've talked about so far this feels the most like nitpicking because Jack Black's performance really was a highlight of the movie, but hey, we've made it this far!! you're locked in this Confessional Box with me and you're getting everything!!

one thing i can point to in regards to this - and i can't believe i'm about to say this because it's so ridiculous sounding - but they gave Bowser a little bit of a "yandere" vibe, right?? *sniper dot appears on my forehead* but they could've leaned further into it, and it was kinda overshadowed by the Jack Black of it all.

here's that second pin! it's for Mario's Daddy Issues! it's not a bad idea per se, like, yeah, you can do that sort of arc with Mario, why not? (he's got a couple daddy issues in my own fanon to be fair!) but the way it was integrated into the plot just felt SO cookie cutter, like literally ANY character could have had Mario's arc in this movie. it didn't feel related thematically to what was actually happening in the movie, and the reason that bothers me is because Mario is just so BLASE about everything happening to him! Like, sure, he's bumbling around all confused like a cheep-cheep out of water, but since there's just no room to breathe, we can't have anything more than narrative shorthand for arcs you've seen before. but the potential for depth is there!! it is!!!

i think what i mean is that there's not really levels to how characters react to things, almost like they're not allowed to have too extreme emotions. it feels like they had constraints, and they couldn't establish too much about the characters. Nintendo is a tightly controlled brand, right?

so, because of that, it's REALLY strange to me that they not only gave Peach a backstory, but to my knowledge, a backstory that doesn't come from any of the games or past adaptations. in a way, her story is the reverse opposite of Daisy from the live action Mario movie. if this movie had been twenty minutes longer, i would've loved to see this resolved in a more satisfying way! it really feels like there was no emotional resolution to her story, which surprises me because there were obvious parallels to Mario's angst about his own family/desire to Save Brooklyn in Peach's struggle to protect the toads. like i said earlier when i was talking about Mario and Peach's conversations, it felt like it stopped right before it was about to get good.

it just doesn't seem like the characters in this movie feel things deeply. most characters end in the same place they started. that isn't a bad thing, by the way, which is why it's in the "complicated feelings" section. lots of movies do that - Back to the Future does that, my favorite movie of all time.

it's all very, very down-the-middle. it's for everyone, it's for no one. it's Nintendo + Illumination: The Super Mario Bros. Movie., and everything that entails.

i think the reason the Baby Mario scene bothers me is because it reminds me too much of the fact that this movie is a product. all movies are, don't get me wrong, but there are so many parts of this movie that felt especially product-y. it was just kinda blatant about it in the stereotypical way that b-tier animated kid's movies are. it was packed with references, which in a way was cool to see. i'm sure that when i watch it again i'll catch all sorts of things i didn't catch before. but this movie kinda just feels like a PILE of stuff all mashed together without much thought put into how the actual world is supposed to work, or what the lives of the people who live there are like, or how they feel that their kingdom is being destroyed.

let me just be totally real for a second. *unzips clown costume a little*

art means a lot to me, obviously. and if i'm being totally real and baring my soul or whatever, nothing has impacted my artistic life and process more than Super Mario Bros. There's nothing I can do about it. the sky is blue, water is wet, and i love mario.

i saw this move sitting in a row with my family, in seats we'd all reserved in advance. i was sitting between my parents, who taught me how to play Mario. i had a smile on my face the whole time, even during the Baby Mario scene. every time something cool or flashy happened, a tiny voice from somewhere in the theater would GASP, or yell "LET'S-A GO" or "IT'S PEACH!!!"

among my group was my youngest cousin, who's eight years old, and i realized that she's the same age i was when i created my account on Lemmy's Land and made a Koopaling OC. (that used to be the Thing to do in mario fandom.) that realization almost gave me a fuckin stroke. the passage of time, am i right?

but anyway, if this movie had come out when i was a kid, it would've blown my mind and changed my life. i felt a weird ennui after the movie ended, and everyone was asking me what i thought. people at work the next day were asking me about it, because i'm the Mario Guy even in real life. and i didn't have an answer. i didn't know what i thought.

what i said to them was, "i'm weird, i'm not a good example of a normal opinion on this movie. 7/10." and then i went home and i wrote the 3000 words you see above you.

this is longer than most of my Mario fics, let's-a wrap this up.

hopefully i've given a little bit of a sense of what i thought of the movie. It's everything, it's nothing. you are in its target demographic whether you like it or not. it's the movie some of you have been waiting for your whole lives. it had expectations that it never had a chance of living up to. it has jack black. it's a pile of mush. (no pun nintended.)

#mario #HOOOO BOY #i need to become a youtube video essayist #sorry #arthoughts #this is way too much #this is the real raw shit #this is blogging

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pesterloglog · 9 months

Text

Dave Strider, John Egbert, Jade Harley

Act 6, page 6302-6323

DAVE: so weird being back here

DAVE: cant believe how long ago it feels since i lived in this place

DAVE: spent way too long wallowing in our own filth on that gnarly meteor thats for sure

DAVE: this doesnt even seem like my room anymore

DAVE: its like trespassing or something like im horning in on somebody elses life

DAVE: a life lived most sweetly though i will admit

DAVE: ahahaha the fuckin toilets still there

DAVE: i remember when jade put that there that is perhaps like my favorite memory

DAVE: wish jade wasnt crazy just makes me remember how much i miss not crazy jade

DAVE: or less crazy jade

DAVE: wait

DAVE: didnt karkat once say terezi ripped a troll toilet out of his house

DAVE: what is with girls and their universally constant tendency to rip out plumbing fixtures

DAVE: did i just accidentally crack another cosmic riddle or

DAVE: i gotta txt him and get confirmation on this asap

DAVE: actually nah

DAVE: i probably harangued the poor guy with enough of my bs the last few years

DAVE: ill just keep shufflin thru memory lane making wistful observations out loud

DAVE: you know it kinda chaps my bulge that people rip on me for talking to myself

DAVE: its like the most perfectly natural thing to do

DAVE: why are people so up tight about keepin a lid on their monologues what a bunch of stuffy pricks

DAVE: ive always found the sound of my own voice to be mysteriously soothing

DAVE: haha talk about an embarrassing sentence to say in earshot of an actual person

DAVE: well maybe not the mayor

DAVE: you can always tell the mayor anything <3

DAVE: hahaha this piece of shit is still here too

DAVE: didnt we use this thing like ONCE

DAVE: what a useless pile of trash in hindsight

DAVE: sometimes i think this game was designed by an idiot

DAVE: wasnt it called like

DAVE: the laserbeam intellivision or something

DAVE: id throw it in the lava but that would be a waste of melting

DAVE: oh yeah

DAVE: almost forgot about my ill beats from the past

DAVE: i wonder if theyre as ill as i remember

DAVE: ok i just pushed some buttons and verified they remain as ill as the day they were dropped

DAVE: ill have to send them to karkat he has always been an enthusiastic patron of my exceptional science

DAVE: i mean sure he says it sucks and maybe he even believes that on some pathetic sub intellectual plane of consciousness which gross philistines operate on their whole lives

DAVE: but whenever he gets a load of my hype

DAVE: i see him there

DAVE: tapping his foot ever so slightly

DAVE: i see him

DAVE: this poster...

DAVE: love this poster

DAVE: its like an old friend

DAVE: never even knew who these guys were or what their deal was

DAVE: never gave it much thought i guess

DAVE: doubt ill ever find out at this point

DAVE: oh well

DAVE: some things i guess were never meant to be figured out

DAVE: or benefit from any kind of elaboration

DAVE: not even years later

DAVE: just the way it is sometimes

DAVE: its like ive said before

DAVE: this poster is a hell of a mystery

DAVE: that i never even thought was a mystery

DAVE: and it would be pretty cool if somebody solved it

DAVE: but damn if thats ever gonna happen

DAVE: so thats a shame

DAVE: aw hell its my old dead things collection

DAVE: what a stupid blast from the past

DAVE: i seriously cannot remember if i was sincere with this shit

DAVE: i was probably trying to flex my underdeveloped irony muscles

DAVE: like the shrimpiest kid at the hipster gym

DAVE: why does my childhood room have to be such a predictable museum of embarrassments

DAVE: i dont know

DAVE: some of these things are kind of cool actually

DAVE: like from a standpoint of objective reevaluation afforded by the sobering maturity that comes with being literally 100% grown up now

DAVE: dead things are actually pretty rad

DAVE: i feel like if i was legitmately into all this then more should have come of the interest

DAVE: like there could have been like

DAVE: entire CONVERSATIONS about it that never even took place

DAVE: hey rose youll never guess what im excited about and have loads of dialogue to spill over

DAVE: whats that dave

DAVE: ancient mollusks

DAVE: hmmmmmmmm said rose

DAVE: how many bananas do you think this paw clutched back when it was alive and attached to a monkey

DAVE: dave i really must say

DAVE: this conversation blows

DAVE: yeah sorry

DAVE: maybe i could have really developed this interest

DAVE: maybe i could have been something cool as a result

DAVE: like what even profession is this

DAVE: a dead shit ogler?

DAVE: no wait

DAVE: probably a paleontologist or something

DAVE: i could have been a paleontologist

DAVE: instead of what i became

DAVE: which was

DAVE: uh

DAVE: some pajama packing fuckface from the renaissance fair

DAVE: that would have been the dopeness!

DAVE: eurgh

DAVE: the ironic selfies

DAVE: oh god

DAVE: now this

DAVE: this is some irredeemably mortifying shit here

DAVE: what was i thinking

DAVE: i dont know man

DAVE: i just dont know

DAVE: this is what seasoned veterans call "bad irony"

DAVE: look at this guy

DAVE: what a fucking novice

DAVE: oh who am i kidding

DAVE: i cant stay mad at that face

DAVE: ok this one is pretty funny actually

DAVE: ...

DAVE: eheheh

DAVE: hehehehe

DAVE: haha!

DAVE: hahahahahaha!

DAVE: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

DAVE: WHY

DAVE: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

DAVE: (gasp)

DAVE: WHY CANT

DAVE: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

DAVE: WHY CANT I STOP LAUGHING

DAVE: PFFFFAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

DAVE: YOU WIN!

DAVE: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

DAVE: YOU WIN YOUNG DAVE

DAVE: THESE SELFIES ARE COMEDY GOLD

DAVE: AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

JOHN: hi dave!

JOHN: what's so funny?

DAVE: whoa

DAVE: john

JOHN: what were you looking at there...

JOHN: hey, are you crying?

DAVE: what

DAVE: no

JOHN: ...

DAVE: i mean i was just laughing too hard at something dumb

DAVE: you know how it is

JOHN: heh, yeah.

JOHN: can i see?

DAVE: no its nothing

DAVE: where the fuck have you been

DAVE: do you remember what happened since we got here

JOHN: yes.

DAVE: well

DAVE: are you gonna fill me in or keep floating there in the most uninformative way possible

JOHN: uh oh.

JOHN: dave, i have to go!

DAVE: what

DAVE: why

JOHN: i can't hang around in one place for too long.

JOHN: let's catch up later, ok?

DAVE: john wait

JOHN: see you buddy!

DAVE: no dont

DAVE: john no stop turning into wind you fickle idiot

DAVE: dont just leave right away that is such an insanely predictable move

DAVE: i said get back here you slippery motherfucker!!!

JADE: hello dave

DAVE: god dammit

JADE: he was just here wasnt he

DAVE: no

JADE: how do you even know who im talking about??

DAVE: look all i know is egbert most definitely didnt just appear out of nowhere and catch me weeplaughing at my selfies

JADE: dave i know he was just here

JADE: i can smell him

DAVE: i keep my apparment misted with his odor at all times

DAVE: essence d'egbert

JADE: degbear?

JADE: what...

DAVE: no like the french pronunciation

JADE: ah

DAVE: anyway im just a lot more comfortable when my whole place reeks of nerd musk

DAVE: so that explains that

JADE: you cant fool me dave

JADE: i will track him down sooner or later

JADE: in any case it doesnt matter

JADE: i came here to see you, not him

DAVE: you did

JADE: come with me

DAVE: where

JADE: out here

JADE: we have some work to do

DAVE: what work

JADE: youre going to need to upgrade your weapon

DAVE: what

DAVE: you mean the deringer

JADE: yes

DAVE: i thought it was like the best possible sword

DAVE: or at least the best possible broken sword

JADE: that may very well be the case

JADE: but it will be useless against lord english

JADE: wouldnt you prefer a weapon that is capable of inflicting damage against him?

DAVE: uh

DAVE: not really?

JADE: of course you would

JADE: this isnt even up for discussion

JADE: now give me the deringer

JADE: we have all been traveling for three long years. what better way to celebrate our reunion than with a little alchemy? :)

DAVE: lots of ways

DAVE: we could have a jade goes back to normal party

DAVE: starring normal jade

JADE: HAR HAR

JADE: gimme the sword

DAVE: ok here

DAVE: how do we make it so it can damage him

JADE: it needs a special ingredient

JADE: something which represents his only known weakness, but hasnt been properly weaponized

DAVE: and you know what that is

JADE: i do

DAVE: how

JADE: i get all my intelligence on such matters from the old lady

JADE: shes had centuries to hatch a plan to settle her score

JADE: over time shes uncovered many secrets about him

DAVE: i dont understand how this is working

DAVE: is she piping all these secrets into your brain

DAVE: along with the evil

JADE: that is not relevant!

DAVE: fair enough

DAVE: i guess technically almost nothing is relevant to the dude youre barking orders to

DAVE: literal barking because of dogginess

JADE: bark bark bark!!!

DAVE: yes exactly like that

DAVE: thank you for participating in the joke

DAVE: now what is this special ingredient and where do we get it

JADE: i already have it right here

DAVE: oh yeah?

JADE: in fact ive had it for about as long as i can remember

JADE: it was right under my doggy snout all along

JADE: remember this?

DAVE: no

JADE: dave are you lying to me?

DAVE: no!

DAVE: ive never seen that thing before

JADE: but i found it on your planet

JADE: it must have gotten here somehow

DAVE: i didnt take your lousy egg

JADE: its not an egg!

DAVE: yeah well these planets are crawling with brainless lizards maybe one of them thought it was an egg

DAVE: and then brought it here cause its warm here and tried to hatch it

JADE: you really have a one track mind when it comes to certain things

DAVE: what things

DAVE: what are you talking about

JADE: davesprite was like that too... i just figured it was because he was part bird

JADE: but no, here you are going on about bird things too just like him :p

DAVE: come on dont compare me to him

DAVE: just cause i think its an eggy looking thing dont mean i think like a damn bird

JADE: mm hmm

JADE: and just because i have these pointy ears doesnt mean i wouldnt kill for some snausages right now!

DAVE: .....................

DAVE: do you actually want snausages

JADE: .....................

JADE: maybe ._.

DAVE: ok well snausages notwithstanding this is bullshit

DAVE: tell me how that thing doesnt look like an egg to you

DAVE: how is that not so obviously SUCH an egg???

JADE: its a cueball dave!

DAVE: i see

DAVE: so if im following

DAVE: then what youre trying to tell me is

DAVE: lord english has some sort of severe egg allergy that we are hoping to exploit

JADE: sigh

JADE: i see its still impossible to have a serious conversation with you, whether you are a sassy bird or not

JADE: i thought regular dave might have matured a little over three years but i guess i was wrong

DAVE: can we just make the eggsword already

DAVE: oh no

DAVE: not the legendary piece of shit again

JADE: pardon?

DAVE: its the fuckin welsh sword again!

JADE: are you telling me you have seen this sword before dave

JADE: how is that possible?

DAVE: i dont know!

DAVE: because i have a shitty quest is how

JADE: .....

DAVE: didnt davesprite tell you anything

DAVE: i found this sword in a gold cave and broke it

DAVE: then davesprite took it to hephaestus who fixed it and upgraded it to the deringer

DAVE: and sent that to me and i broke it again

JADE: you sure seem to break swords a lot

DAVE: i know!!!

DAVE: that has always been my thing for some reason

DAVE: now i guess it turns out my ultimate sword is really just a repaired downgrade of my previously ultimate sword mixed with a cueball?

DAVE: we just cycled right back to caledfwelsh like a bunch of tools

DAVE: that is the most stupid convoluted ass backward way to get a sword out of a stone i can even imagine

DAVE: i feel like somebody somewhere is having a good laugh over this i sure hope like the juggalo equivalent of fuckin loki or whoever the fuck is having a top notch riddlewank at my expense

JADE: :|

DAVE: you know what really gets me is

DAVE: this shitty welsh sword presumably consisted of those ingredients all along which just makes me want to travel back in time to perform a mutually assisted suicide with myself

DAVE: me and other dave can take turns suffocating each other with our own DUMBASS capes

JADE: dave i admit this is a peculiar turn of events, but i think you are overreacting

DAVE: jade this is STUPID

DAVE: my quest is a STUPID PIECE OF GARBAGE QUEST for LAME SHITTY LOSER FUCKHEADS WHO SUCK BALLS WHILE CRAPPING THEIR PANTS

JADE: omg

JADE: youve really spent way too much time alone with karkat havent you

DAVE: ...

DAVE: i need help :(

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