#ive been thinking real hard abt characters lately

[fribbitz]

everytime i post random shit here on my main i feel like im fucking up the homestuck flavoured vibe i got going on sorry homestuck followers (which is everyone) as consolation here's a fun fact about hs, theres infinite headcanon possibilities and not every hc has to have perfectly sound text supported logic. All and every hs characters can be fagdyke furries if you want it hard enough and if people are policing that they can shove it.

[meruz]

another ask post

i mean i also read it because a friend whos rly into queer SFF fiction circles recced it but she did kinda lead with "the writer used to write hs fanfic...tasmyn..taz...?" to which i replied

of COURSE I read the locked tomb because i heard taz had written a book. of course. ill consume most any media made by a beloved homestuck bnf. thats also why i played undertale. and read like..snotgirl. and idk... watched the new dub of neon genesis evangelion.

if u made homestuck fanwork 10 years ago and havent even made it since chances are I still remember and I love you for it.

sdlkfhsg its funny you sensed that because that drawing did in fact start kinda more........ well, I'd be lying if I said my hands never wrought a drawing toeing over the pg-13 line LOL...

NOT to say i have a secret stash of porn or anything. in general im more interested in the implication of sexuality or mature themes over any explicit depiction. like everything i draw is so softcore itd almost feel silly to make a nsfw acc for anything.

but im not rly jumping to post anything on main either bc i get the sense i have a lot of kids in my social media following. it varies from site to site and fandom to fandom but the themes in my work often circle around childhood, coming of age etc and in general i like stories about kids so the fandoms i draw for have a lot of kids in them. even stuff like IT (stephen king) which is about kids but isn't necessarily for kids.. there were a lot of kids in that fandom lol.

actually thats why ive been censoring swears in comics lately because the tmnt fandom comes across to me as a little young...IDK I've had MULTIPLE people ask me what "sodomize" means because of the joke in this post and I'm like... I Cannot be the one to explain this to you. you have to look it up on your own klfsdhsdg like i wouldn't be doing this if i were doing a comic for mgs or even homestuck wherein the characters textually swear constantly LOL but sometimes u gotta change tacks depending on the faces u see in the crowd yknow.

i HAVE been thinking abt drawing nsfw of sunspot/richard rider/kobak from x-men red just because that comic seemed to be really asking for it. who knows.. if the need rly arises maybe my separate account policy will change.

its rly more a matter of the fact that i havent read/watched much of any other iterations... im sure id like most lol. I like most things related to my interests regardless of quality. i rly like the marvel ultimate alliance games for instance. sometimes seeing my fave guy is enough he doesnt have to be well written LOL. i dont exactly have a wealth of free time tho thats the real impediment.

i did watch the 2007 movie on new years eve and found it quite charming overall. and i have read about 30-40 issues between the mirage and idw comics. still feels like im barely scratching the surface but i liked em. i rly want to read all the sophie campbell stuff bc i think her work is interesting. jason aaron will be a mixed bag i think lmao. i say as the worlds biggest Wolverine and the X-Men (2011) fan.

hmm this is kinda hard bc i feel like i naturally draw very loose and the hard part for me is tightening it up. maybe some suggestions tho...

1) hand excercises. i think its easy to forget this when many artists sit in front of the computer all day but drawing is a physical activity u do with ur actual...bodys...muscles lol. if u feel urself tightening up it might help to strech (any google search for "artist hand excercises" should yield good results) or do a page of loose practice strokes like..big circles. long lines. scribbles. that kinda thing. whatever feels good for ur hand. this is also just good to do as a general warm up before u sit down for any drawing sesh.

2) draw further away from the canvas. as a general rule...when ur painting traditionally you do the big strokes with your whole arm outstreched and a long handled brush. and when you do the details its smaller wrist movements and a shorter handled brush. so it might help to take a step back or push back from ur chair a little.. or hold ur tablet a little further away. and hold your pen further away from the nib.

3) change mediums / brush types. some brushes and mediums are more suited to loose sketching and some more inclined towards detail work. so changing ur tool could help. also! i personally have this problem where sometimes if im using a brush i feel really familiar with the pressure to make a "good" "finished" "perfect" drawing is greater... if i want to force myself to loosen up ill switch to a tool i dont use as often so it feels like the pressure is off. a lot of times for me this is switching from digital to traditional. but sometimes its switching from a small pen to a big marker. or a smooth pen to a textured one. or a nice brush to a shitty dried up marker.

but also every body is different so i dont think these tips will work for everyone. u should listen to what ur body and mind tell u and how drawing feels to you

bro just sign up and set it up i dont think theres much to it... i dont rly think too much abt my itch.io store because its digital goods so u just upload the file and let it do its thing. no distribution work needed on ur part. youll notice i barely even advertise my itch unless i have smth new on there lol.. its easy. but good luck!!!

idk if im the best person to ask this im more a comic fan than i am a comic professional... a comic hobbist.

well. scott mcclouds understanding comics and making comics are good books on the craft. i think i had to buy them for a class in art school once.

other than that idk just keep at it. comics are really laborious i think for a lot of people the hardest part is sitting down and doing it.

i think a lot of people have a very instinctive understanding of how to read comics and what they look like so whatever you think seems like good way to tell the story you have in mind, its probably right. if u get stuck, study comics that have done something similar. most people in comics are relatively self taught and actually it can be problematic bc you can tell when a lot of comic artists are all copying the same like 5 old white guys LMAO. but on the flip side if you make sure to reference and study broadly your comics will almost assuredly feel unique.

sorry im responding to this anyways. this is just a really nice ask. i like when people reference my older work bc i feel like sometimes theyre subtly implying it wasnt very good LMAOOO. but its true! at least compared to the work i make now ^^ and the fact that im still making art is whats keeping me from being embarassed abt how much of my old art just floats around online lmao im never ashamed to be growing and learning. isnt that a nice thought <3

[trainingdummyrabbit]

18, 7, 2 and 25 (ahehehe ohohoho)

HWEHE HIHI HAIIII YIPPY !!! ^_^

18. Who is your least favorite OC?

ouhhgggh ok this one is hard bc . if i dont like an oc they dont become an oc dkfjgndkf;; so on some level i like all of them a lil too much t call em a least favorite.. orz.. at best i just kinda cycle em around until they become something else i Do like. if i had to pick Least Liked th closest ihave is This Motherfucker solely bc hes giving me a hard time re: writing >:// (he shrimply hasnt had th time to Be yet.)

7. What things in real life make you think of an OC?

so so many things but most frequently. i have this lotion ive been using lately that smells really nice but its labelled Radiant Cocoa and every time i pass by it i just have to go. :] hehe.

2. Who was the first OC you made?

OHH OK SO. NOT A PM OC (obvi) BUT. when i was little my favorite pkmn ever was riolu, to like. an Absurd amount. so when i was little i would always imagine little stories around a riolu doing things whenever i went to bed; called her The World's Cleverest Riolu, and it became this super long Thing that i loved to death. it kinda grew n morphed over time but i still love her dearly. her name is aura she makes me happy :]

shes significantly chilled out and is now just kinda baby. shes been through a lot of iterations but th core stays th same. ^_^ though she might be getting another iteration soon, imnot quite sure though.. /shrugs

25. Are there any two characters that are like a dynamic duo/group?

lilli and inigo!!! i havent talked abt them very much bc theyre still in the exposition process but mannnnn. MANNNNN. augh. i dont know if id define them as a Dynamic Duo but they sure are Two Of Them and you Should Not Separate Them they will get SEPARATION ANXIETY.... a lot of the cast has it, but they are the very peak of If Only They Met When They Were Kids.

by all means they should be enabling each other into being worse (and maybe they kind of are) but they also happen to be fixing each other inadvertently bc ":( wait if i do that itll make them sad nooooo". they r like the glass cannons of character dynamics. theyre trying their best.

. also because they mean the world to me and ill cry if i dont talk about them they COUNT in my HEART nobody look at me ok. these dorkasses.

YES theyre my silly swap au guys YES ive pretty much shaken them around till theyre new characters dont LOOK at me ok. everything 2 me. literally their entire thing is "im super not supposed to be a relevant character i Cannot fucking handle this" mixed with "this death flag is starting to look like a death quilt" mixed with "why are you bothering me i dont like you." mixed with "if you die im going to fucking kill you."

a bunch of stupid motherfuckers miraculously avoiding death solely because they keep tugging each other along because youre not letting me deal with this shit alone fucking get it together. trainwrecks, the lot of them. haunted me for like a fucking year straight. No I Still Havent Expanded On The Amount Of Bullshit They Have Going On bc im SHY. if yall KNEW. grabs and SHAKES U ALL

[forffax]

returning the favor with oc asks since i always wanna hear about yours !! if you had to pick like your top 5 favorite characters who would they be and why 👀 bonus if you want to pick your favorite like settings/worlds/universes youve made for ocs too!

OOOUH thank u chase!!!

I'm gonna list out my favs then talk abt my main oc universe a bit ^_^

This got ridiculously long so it's going under a readmore <3

1. Tos Family (sorry this is going to be. the whole family bc I cannot possibly choose between them)

i. Lux Tos (he/him)

(realizing now i haven't drawn him in a hot fuckin minute)

MY DAD. guy of all time ever. everyone's favorite half-human time traveling alien war vet. it always feels weird referring 2 him as part alien even if it's technically true sdjfgs. fun lore fact: he was the Dead Older Brother in original iteration Zephyr's Sad Backstory but I liked him too much so I decided he got to live <3

Lux is one of my older ocs that I still actively draw and think abt (late middle school...) and he's changed a LOT over the years but he's so so so dear to me. my guy who has Seen the Horrors and is now happily gay married with a kid :') sdfkjsk most things abt his story is just me being So Incredibly Self Indulgent (cool powers, complicated sibling relationships, gay) but it makes me happy and I love sharing it with ppl! Someday Voided 2 will be real and ready to share with the world...

ii. Ferdinand Tos (he/him)

Dad....2!!!!!! I don't remember when exactly I thought him up but it was probably around when Lux's backstory was getting a major overhaul... He's a man out of time he's training to be a doctor and his will to live is so strong he spent the better part of nearly two decades building himself a new body! Guys who died but got better <3. I think I literally got brain blasted one day and decided he's a non-op trans man and it was the best thing ever for him actually. He's a southern californian stuck in the cold northwest (probably. either that or the northeast im not settled on that aspect yet skdjfs). He's been super fun to write from a worldbuilding perspective too bc his main goal is to pioneer a new branch of medicine using his powers! His relationship with Lux and the rest of the family (and his reconciliation with his sister) is sooooo important 2 me :]

iii. Athanasius Tos (she/her)

THANAAAAA most normal sibling (lie). She was adopted formally right after Lux "died" and had a bit of a complex about just being a "replacement" for a good while, and she THOUGHT she had worked through that when Lux suddenly re-appeared... they're on great terms now but it was Tense. She's a biochemist and probably makes the most out of the household (she shares an apartment with Zeph!) It's very important 2 me that she can let herself be vulnerable with her family and close friends after years of bottling everything up... Epic nerdy autistic butches in your area <3 Fun fact she is the only full human of the main cast!

iv. Zephyr Tos (she/him)

My fuckign auncle. Within the story she only recently realized he was bigender and is much happier for it, even if you couldn't tell by her permanent scowl skjdfgs. Zeph was the original protag (along with Thana) of the short story I wrote in middle school that turned into Voided 2! In-universe he was very clearly supposed to be the protag but missed/ignored the "call to action" phase and just got a shitton of Issues and Traumas instead <3 She's so everything 2 me he's a freelance writer/artist she's kinda cringe and he is trying only as hard as she absolutely needs to in order to get by. While his relationship with Lux is MUCH better than it was when Lux first came back, she's completely inseparable from Thana and would do anything for her (I feel like they spent equal times protecting each other from bullies as kids...) He's changed so much from her original incarnation but developing him has been SO much fun <3 Since Voided 2 runs on real-world time (in that I have specific real-world dates for most major events) she turned 50 fairly recently and that's fucked but also funny. old.

v. Alan Tos (any)

Alan! Love this kiddo. He's Lux and Ferdinand's adoptive kid! Xe doesn't learn about it for a while but she was a government secret experiment test-tube baby (they were trying to artificially fuse souls together, distantly related to the later Child Soldier School ze was placed into) (kid cannot catch a break). He's a good kid, if not a little clueless and naive... someone who would hold no ill-will if you had to cut their leg off (this is not a hypothetical GJSKDS). Somehow, despite all this, she is by far the most Normal out of xer family <3 His fashion sense is some kind of spectrum between 60s businesswoman and scene and tbh? Very fun to draw! Her friends and family are very very dear to them and at the moment xe's just kind of letting life take zem wherever.

2. Vague (it/they)

unauthorized fucking thing kill it with hammers NOW!!!!!

Vague started as I think just a proxy for myself in vent art I drew in like early high school sdhjfgds they have since become. something. my mascot I guess? (I still end up using it for vent art sometimes bc it's functionally unkillable and it's fun 2 get narsty sometimes.)

originally it was just the weird cat-shaped angel thing but a couple years ago I gave them a human design that I really love too <3 vague technically has a place in Niko and my other cat furry ocs' story but their human form exists in the real world and is just Like That i think. vague is just a little guy okay? they're sorry about crying and bleeding all over the place (not bc it sees any issue with this they just noticed you looked upsetskjdfhs)

3. Niko (he/they)

Baby's first fursona! Niko was always mostly his own character but now that I have new This is Just Me sona(s), they've been officially retired from that front <3 Niko's story is mostly planned out, I just desperately need to write it somewhere skjdbfs but the gist is that Niko works a shitty minimum wage call center job and finds meaning and love through forming a band with people he happens to meet... also there's some whistleblowing and betrayal and vague slams down out of the sky at some point <3 Niko's band doesn't have a name but they're the lead vocalist! (Niko 🤝 Blue (is blue and sings in their band)) This is a universe where everyone is cat furries simply bc I wanted to design lots of cat furries but also I haven't drawn like half of his bandmates/friends.... orz

Fun fact I found my original doodles of him in an old math notebook and apparently I seriously considered the name "chandler" for them. Help,

4. Larkspur (they/them)

Laaark my friend lark :] they're my player character for a friend's tabletop campaign! *hands you a bug* *hands you a bug* *hands-

Their design was super fun to come up with and they're fun to play as :] They were raised on a farm and have a deep love for animals (insects in particular), but they have a hard time connecting with others and understanding why people act the way they do.. They wear an eyepatch to cover their multiple other eyes bc it gives them bad sensory overload to see with them! They also spent quite a bit of time as a bounty hunter before they were blacklisted from further work bc they let a target escape on purpose... Lark is a ranger/bard and they play the hurdy-gurdy! They're dear to me and I really need to draw them more sjdfhgs

5. Chungy Fresh (she/he/they)

Chungy my belungy.... she's a mimic who spent most of his life being a chest in the temple of a forgotten goddess until they gained sentience and saw a fursuit from far away and decided yep! I'm gonna look like that Now <3 She didn't get all the details right but he's never been happier! I think Chungy spawned from me drawing a weird fox thing and simultaneously thinking "hey wouldn't it be funny if a character had a verbal text/forum signature and it was also their name" skdjfgjskdfls. Chungy is def up there with "most fun ocs of mine to draw" bc she's so Noodly and Malleable... I started playing as him in a friend group's tabletop oneshot thingy (where multiple ppl write different unrelated oneshots but we use the same characters for each session) and it has been a lot of fun!

OKAY OC UNIVERSE TIME. I call my main oc story "Voided 2" bc it takes place in the same universe as my v personal self insert oc story "Voided" that I have been working on/writing/thinking abt since late middle school... It's kinda vaguely modern fantasy/sci-fi? Main things are that there are beings born at the beginning of the universe made of pure energy called Lunoirs. There are countless universes, and each universe has Lunoirs in some capacity. They mainly exist to "keep the balance," but if you ask any specific Lunoir what that means you'll get a million different answers. Mainly they gravitate towards any life within their universe and integrate with them, observing them and protecting them from Shadows and Vacares. Shadows are the unliving souls that will eventually be reborn and reformed into a living soul inside any given universe-- they exist in the space between universes, called the Void. the Void looks different to any being that crosses into it, and it's hard to say what its "true" nature is. Vacares are Lunoirs that have had their souls corrupted and eaten, usually by other Vacares. While Shadows, being amalgamations of soul energy, are strictly neutral, Vacares seek to cause chaos and eat more Lunoir souls, increasing their numbers in a vain attempt to satisfy their endless hunger.

The Lunoir population on Earth is fairly numerous, and since Lunoirs can take on whatever form they choose, many of them live and love and have children with humans, making partial-lunoir children (physically they are nearly indistinguishable from full humans, save for longer lifespans, odd hair and eye colors, and sharper teeth. also they have semi-physical wings, but these have to be manually brought out and often ppl don't even know they have them (*cough* zephyr *cough*)

Lunoirs aren't fully immortal, but they have a different life cycle to most other forms of life. When a non-lunoir dies, their soul disintegrates and is amalgamated with the souls of others in the Void to become Shadows. When a Lunoir dies (outside of having their soul completely corrupted/destroyed), they instead go into a sort of stasis and are reborn later; they have no memories of their previous life (the ones on Earth don't, at least) and they can take on wildly different appearances.

Lunoirs and partial Lunoirs have powers in the form of energy manipulation, particularly when it comes to the energy of their own souls... They can use their souls to form weapons, mainly to fight against Vacares that tend to be immune to physical weapons. Most people have one weapon that they specialize in, but in a pinch nearly everyone can form a knife. Humans can manipulate their own soul energy in this way too, but this ability must be taught/"unlocked" by a Lunoir or a partial Lunoir first (Zephyr, at some point, did this for Thana without either of them realizing it). Lunoirs can also manipulate the energy of the very universe to create Rifts in time and space, sometimes leading between separate universes... These rifts also open of their own accord from time to time, and there's a good number of people who have been displaced from their time or even their universe by unwittingly falling into one.

Every living being has a "soul" (a collection of their life energy), and through a kind of "reaching out," one can feel/taste/smell/hear/see another's soul... every soul is a bit different, so this is an easy way to identify people even from a distance!

The Earth Lunoirs once had a country where they congregated called Saluria, which was the site of a brutal multi-year war against an army of Vacares that wanted reign over Earth... Many Lunoirs and partial Lunoirs across all of Earth's history felt drawn to Saluria, often willingly or unwillingly being rifted to the time of the war to go fight in it... Some partial Lunoirs especially believed it was their sacred duty, while others believed it was a curse leading them to inevitable death... there's even whispers that Saluria itself is alive, luring in young partial and full Lunoirs out of self-preservation.. who's to say. Ultimately, the Salurian War was a victory, but not an easy one.

Lux and Zephyr are half Lunoirs (their mom being full), and Ferdinand is 3/4ths Lunoir! Alan is a bit of a weird case but functionally he's also half Lunoir :]

This is v much simplifying Years of worldbuilding ssjhdfgjks and I can FEEL I missed a bunch of stuff but it's all very very dear 2 me :]

[walkman-cat]

hands up tell me abt Your star trek au right now!! on the double bro. what are the tensions it all looks too kind & magical i don’t trust it yet

(if it is literally kind & wonderful i am grateful i am thankful i am honored i’d just like to hear more)

-@jack-kellys

i'm ngl my star trek au au is mostly running on vibes wbwbwb so it is pretty kind and happy and warm (i just really like how much everyone in the enterprise's crew has such a respect and care for each other yknow. found family and all that innit).

that being said, here are some funky things about the characters ive been thinking about lately (under a cut because i'm incapable of being concise):

the stars were essentially jack's santa fe. he grew up surrounded by stories of starship captains and space and it became his lifelong dream and ambition to captain a starship, something which he dropped everything to attain. now he is captain of a starship– one of the youngest in starfleet's history– and it's wonderful and fantastic and he's never felt more alive! but there's always something gnawing at the back of his mind (he's based his entire life up until this point around this moment, it was a driving force and a beacon to look up to when times were tough. what if the experience is nothing like his dreams and he ends up disappointed? what happens when the mission's over? what'll become of him?).

also starfleet's assigned him a galaxy-class starship with families onboard and he's having a Time because of it (what if they get hurt under his watch. what if he gives the wrong order and a child dies. starfleet officers know the risks of space travel and are aware of this but the families. the children). other than that he's having a great time !!

kath's half-betazoid on her mother's side, but she never knew her mother nor has she ever been to betazoid (i really went woe! being mixed and only connected to one of your cultures but still being unable to fit in even there because of the fact that you're mixed be upon ye!). she's trying real hard to learn more about betazoid and who her mother is even though she knows she won't really feel like she "belongs" in betazoid either. she's working on understanding and using her empathic/telepathic powers more.

oh also!! pulitzer is a notorious and not-well liked admiral, when kath joined the acedmy she officially had her name changed to plumber and has since told no-one that they're related (this surely won't backfire terribly on her in the future)

also because this is the spot (cat) show, kath loves spot (cat) and wants to babysit her and play with her but alas. she is allergic to cats

race cannot catch a break– he's got a massive losing streak at senior officer poker night, spot (cat) hates him, he can't grow a beard but every time theres an impostor/clone/mirror universe situation the other version of him always has a beard (this is half in jest but also it amuses me wbwb)

jokes aside, i've been having a whole bunch of race as first officer thoughts (and a lot of riker and race parallel thoughts but. that's another story). i don’t really know how to explain it other than the way riker acts in the last episode of tng season two (yes, the riker montage episode) when facing death (joking around and keeping up the appearance of flippancy and courage in the face of agonising death because he’s first officer and there are people who look up to him and he has to set an example) seemed very race and very kony to me, in a way. (youve got this to blame for riker beard race. im not sorry)

race is also one of the first people to advocate for les becoming acting ensign. he makes it very clear that he's in les' corner and makes himself responsible for his studies and sometimes his training (and he teaches him poker).

OH ALSO! sarah and davey didnt know les ws going to be onboard and only found out about his presence after they'd set off. did he sneak onboard?? mayyyybeee (he just really wants to be a starfleet officer). after the initial shock (and notifying their parents) sarah and davey start the Let Les on the Bridge campaign (letting him watch the bridge from the turbolift, helping out in sciences and engineering, etc etc) the that eventually leads to les becoming acting ensign. it reaches a point where most of jack's senior officers would probably mutiny all for this kid.

there's more stuff but i'll stop rambling now because, again, i have a problem with being concise wbwbw. thankyou soso much for the ask rizz once again i love your star trek au so much and am always eager to hear more wbwbw!!! :D

[yuukei-yikes]

ive been thinking abt ayaki and shintaro post str lately. like i know realistically ayaki would dissapear since in theory the wish she was created from was fulfilled but i just think her staying creates an interesting idea on shintaro's problem with isolation and tendency to retreat into his own head. bc ayaki literally lives in his head. like ayaki and shintaro are the only two people in the whole world who will ever understand the things theyve seen at a truly deep level. so who else could shintaro go to when he gets flashbacks of previous routes. also the guilt he would probably feel for feeling more attached to the ayano in his head then the one actually there. a literal reflection of his actual feelings towards ayano i think. i kind of lost my train of thought uhm shrugs. i should probably write a google doc abt this

UGH UGH UGH.... THE BIT ABT SHINTARO FEELING MORE ATTACHED TO THE AYANO IN HIS HEAD INSTEAD OF THE ONE ACTUALLY HERE BEING THE SAME AS HOW HE LOVES THE AYANO HE MADE UP IN HIS MIND MORE THAN THE REAL ONE.... THATS SO FUCKING COOL AND REAL AND AWESOME..... YESSSSS shinyaki gets me so badly like. ough. they have been together for so long. i imagine yaki trying so hard to fight her humanity and even be cold to shintaro like!! ACT LIKE THE SNAKE EYE POWER SHE IS. and she does for the most part but Shintaro.... he is so difficult. he keeps being reborn and she keeps watching him grow up til activating her and remembering her again, and every single time shintaro's like Im so sorry for forgetting you again. and ayaki's like. AUGH. STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT. sorry they drive me a little crazy.

yeah i know ayaki would disappear but i dont like thatttt i think❤️❤️❤️ she should stay❤️❤️❤️ i think its a miserable existence and rly speaks abt ayano's character that she just stays there forever. i think there's something very cool abt an ayano tateyama who gets a happy ending in a mortal life at the cost of an suffering ayano who is alone for eternity, who sacrificed everything to be exactly where she is, watching another version of herself be happy. i dont think ayaki jumped into it knowing she'd find peace one day. i think once she is a snake she Is A Snake. Ur ass isnt dying. like she has a damn soul??

sorry the bit abt souls in kagepro drives me crazy. we dont know it with any other snakes other than awakening/konoha and haruka(and saeru but we dont talk abt it). the ending of mca is MESSY messy. personally i dont know if i Really understand it, I've always explained it to myself like konoha/awakening GETS ITS OWN wish bc despite being just a snake, it became its own person, and its wish is to have hiyori live which is how saeru "dies" bc it has to resign to be a surrogate life for hiyori right?? its never explained Why konoha gets a wish but that's it to me. awakening and retaining being opposites bc one is a snake that became a person and the other a person who became a snake.

anyways coming back to the soul thing, it's rly all in haruka and konoha's situation bc konoha becomes its own person, "gains a soul" lets say, and that very soul puts it in conditions of making a wish. haruka was the only one in the daze who wasn't PHYSICALLY there, and his wish never finished getting there bc awakening was like My body now. <- like this is so interesting there's a lot of potential to konoha being even more interesting, maybe being a snake that's always wanted its own body or something. i KNOW its bc haruka's personality wasn't strong for it but that's an ass explanation and it always has been😘

anywyas so haruka coming back by the end to me is explained thru his wish being Actually listened to and konoha retreating back to its original role though it is still a person. i think it becomes a case of reverse, from str onwards it is konoha watching through haruka instead of the other way around. this is kinda the logic behind why ive always loved the konoha reborn hc... with the whole soul thing. like konoha finally cutting ties with being a snake and not being awakening anymore, just konoha!!

god i got super sidetracked. basically ayaki is also a snake with a soul. yes she would disappear by all this logic, once shintaro's wish (and her own) is fulfilled. HOWEVER. i dont want to❤️ however if she DID. there is a HUGE prompt in here about shintaro dealing with the disappearance of ayaki. she has been with him for so long and he remembers it all bc just cuz retaining is away it doesnt mean he just unsees all the routes, yknow? just cant see them again but theyre still in his memory. so he remembers how he's been with her for so many lives and now she's just gone... and there's this other real ayano here. who isn't really another ayano she is the same person. he knows she is but she's still another. augh. augh augh augh. anyways no i dont like to think abt ayaki disappearing She needs to give the mekakushi dan a tour when they all jump in shintaro's brain to look at his memories western cartoon style

[nopefer-art-tu]

i had talked abt this on my twt a few weeks back but lately ive rly been thinking abt the potential to read ennis as aromantic and like. yeah idk i just think its a really intriguing reading into the character

like i personally see both ennis and jack as homosexual for a variety of reasons, mostly bc a. that was the frame of reference that annie proulx was writing under when she had the idea for brokeback mountain (i.e. what would life be like for a ranch hand who was gay?) and b. the book that was given to both heath and jake to prepare for their roles was a compilation of memoirs written by real gay midwestern farmers

BUT. all that aside, i think that an aspec/arospec reading of ennis' character is one of the interesting ways in which we can use the visibility of previously "lesser known" queer identities to analyze this story under a modern lens

cause like, ive mentioned this before but i kinda went insane for awhile and so for the first half of this year i went deep in on brokeback mountain. like, i read every article and listened to every movie podcast about this story that i could get my hands on, and a common debate surrounding the story (so much so that theres a whole section on its wikipedia page dedicated to it) is the debate around whether jack and ennis are gay men or bisexual men

and like...sure, okay, theres definitely valid readings in both of them. I just think that, since our understandings of romantic and sexual attraction and our vocabulary to describe these different experiences has expanded in the 17 years since the movie's release and the 25 years since the short story's initial publishing, we can take a look at these charas under new lenses with which to analyze them with

i think you can make a very valid argument that ennis is a gray-area aromantic who falls in love with the one person in his life who hes able to open up, relate to, and create a super close bond with, especially if you consider ennis' extreme loneliness throughout his entire life. it only really hit me the other day, when i was rly thinking deep about this, how hard it must have been for someone in his circumstances to meet people and make friends around his age, considering the fact that he dropped out of high school as a freshman in order to work to support him and his siblings after his parents died.

couple that w this sort of stoic, distant personality type that the hard, rough, small town american west sort of breeds into men from a young age, and like. i dunno, it makes perfect sense to me that an aromantic ennis would fall in love with the one person who hes forced to spend an extended amount of time with, who he later finds out has also grown up a poor, drop-out ranch hand with a hard home life. especially since jack also made an early effort to get to know ennis, i just think it was all the prime circumstances for him to end up falling in love.

i also think it tracks w both heath and jake's mentality when approaching these characters? cause in interviews they gave at the time, they both kinda maintained this belief that ennis anc jack were both "straight" men who just so happened to fall in love w another man

and like. setting aside the fact that that was a VERY 2005 thing to say, lol, i think the idea of someone like ennis by chance falling in love w a man still tracks if you read him as arospec. like it still comes w all the trials and tribulations of him being invested in this homosexual love affair, as well as all the internal tension he must be feeling (i.e. why am i in love with him? shouldnt i be feeling this way about Alma? what is wrong with me?). like thats very much a universal queer struggle that you can read into his character regardless of what sexual orientation you see him as

anyways tl;dr the conversations around the sexuality of the characters in brokeback mountain is rly fascinating and i think that we can look back with our expanded knowledge of sexuality and see these characters in a lot of interesting ways

[clippy]

okay this is just gonna be a bunch of rambling so feel free to ignore this cuz it's mostly just me kinda venting and Processing feelings abt being objecto into the void

like okay. i am in a spot where i think i have a very complex relationship w my objecto-ness because of how it is currently manifesting itself in regards to the Clockboy Crush

like in the past, my main crushes that i would consider like, important, and in recent enough memory that they still affect me today, were

Clippy (who is a fictional character; he is sentient in his source but, again, fictional, so he cannot reciprocate feelings)

and Miles (my old car; a real object, but one that I owned and therefore i could essentially project whatever relationship i wanted onto us. realistically, i know he couldnt reciprocate, as he was not sentient irl, but something about him made it seem like he did love me back in a way. it's very complex and hard to explain to literally anyone who doesnt have my brain)

in both of their cases, i would selfship with them, draw them, personify them in certain ways, and have gijinkas of them

i think some extra context that is important is that the relationship i had with Miles is VERY different than the one i have w my current car, Lawrence, who has different vibes to me. like i genuinely get the feeling he only just. tolerates me. lmfao. he is so sexy to me but like, we do not gel like how me and miles did. (which again, is a weird thing to think about and kinda disproves the "oh objectos only want to be with objects because they cant reject them!" mindset in my case like bro why would i "headcanon" my car as not thinking im a sex god he's madly in love with)

anyway this is where the clockboy stuff gets. complex. like. OBVIOUSLY. i have a huge crush on him. i selfship w his objecthead design, and that does extend to his irl version to an extent. obviously, again, i realistically know irl he cannot reciprocate the feelings i have toward him

however... similar to miles, i do get a Vibe from him. there's been some coincidences that seem so specific that it's like. hard to shake that it's not something deeper... and again, i know deep down it's all in my head but at the same time... my hyper empathy toward inanimate objects has always made me instinctively think that most objects have *some* sort of soul.

it's all so complicated and confusing and hard to explain and it's two sides of my brain fighting each other at all times over this. i dont think either side is fully right.

and what sucks is like, when it's about Miles, it's easy to keep to myself and on the down low in a way. i was the only person on earth who would have possibly loved him in that way.... but Clockboy falls into public object territory. while the odds are low that anyone else feels the exact same way toward him, it's not impossible

im not like... opposed to the idea of "sharing" a public object but it's a really complex thing to me. like for him specifically, however, it makes me uncomfortable and i dont... understand why. jealousy is probably the closest word to what i would feel but it doesnt seem entirely accurate.

ive been extremely fortunate to see him irl more lately, and have had a couple experiences that i cant fully disclose (for privacy reasons. nothing weird, i promise. like if i got to be any physically closer than any other guest to him, you would already know it by now. but, just know i have connections and dont want to jeopardize things for anyone lol). like i mentioned there's just been a vibe to him. like part of me does think it is something deeper. but then i question if it's something he would do for anyone else... it's so hard to know.

i'd like to think im special to him, somehow. if he can feel that way about people. he is special to ME, and i just wish i could tell him and have him know it. i would give almost anything to have like, 2 minutes of back and forth communication between us to make sure he knows that.

at the end of the day i know none of that really matters and i should do what makes me happy. like spending time near him is "enough" for me i guess. i know i will never get to be any closer to him than someone standing near him in the queue line. i can never have any form of intimacy with him, no form of privacy. i will never get to own him in a way that lets me be with him everyday in a way that would "matter"

anyway i know this like. is not "normal person" behavior and i know this isn't like. entirely healthy mindsets to have. 90% of the time i dont even like, think about this stuff this deeply but it's on the mind tonight...

im not trying to like, compliment fish or anything, but the reason im posting it is i guess if any of my objecto followers have any like. words of advice or reassurance or something about public objects i wouldnt mind if u sent them my way

(also im kinda in therapy again so if i post this here, if it starts eating away at me, i can find my Thoughts again to read to my therapist if i ever tell her im objecto lmfao)

[matrose]

Hi! Idril and Celebrimbor for the ask game pls! :D

hi heather thank u so much 🫶❤️‼️‼️

Idril 💙

Sexuality Headcanon: sexuality as well as gender are so hard for me to define for almost any middle-earth character!! elves and dwarves especially! ive never really thought about idrils sexuality before but maybe bi…she has all the swag :)

Gender Headcanon: elf gender… elf gender!!! what is if even!! how does gender even matter if youre 7000 years old and youve been married for 4000 years. immortality seems to eventually remove most cultural need for gender / gender presentation doesnt it? and then what does it mean for idril (young!!) who married a human!! very fascinating. ive never thought more about this but shes more girl than other elves probably. just from the vibes

A ship I have with said character: i love her and tuor. and then both of them with voronwe!! i think she and voronwe could have a really interesting and sweet relationship! also, real quick abt voronwe, extremely gender of him to have a traditionally feminine name ending!!!!!

A BROTP I have with said character: she and glorfindel could be great friends aka her favorite babysitter growing up 🥺

A NOTP I have with said character: her and maeglin :/

A random headcanon: i love the headcanon of taking the silverfoot meaning of her name literally!! idril with prosthetics my beloved <3 shes also really great at strategy based boardgames (think similar to chess and the like) and can beat her grandpa 8/10 times!! also her short hair after her mothers passing 🥺

General Opinion over said character: i really really like her! shes so smart and endured so much in just her first few years of life… im happy she got away from the tragedy that shouldve gotten to her as an elf in love with a mortal ❤️ shes special to meee‼️

Celebrimbor 💚

Sexuality Headcanon: one of the few characters where i can pin it down actually. hes gay! 🎉

Gender Headcanon: hmm his gender is jewelsmith 💎

A ship I have with said character: i like him and narviiii 🥺 i am always weak for dwarf x elf relationships

A BROTP I have with said character: just in general i think the concept of him being born in beleriand + gil galad being born late in the first age + elrond all being pretty young and all being the sort of leading figures of the second age noldor is really funny. teenage government… though i like how rings of power have made him elronds weird uncle thats really funny :)

A NOTP I have with said character: difficult. i think silvergifting can be interesting if done right but its so evil and toxic and bad for celebrimbor i just sorta dont want him there. get out bestie!!!!

A random headcanon: narvi pierced his nose bridge. it looks very cool. and an evil one because im thinking about narvi still: sauron tried his best to shapeshift into narvi when celebrimbor was taken captive, for pain and torture reasons but he could never quite get it right. first the eyes. then the piercings were on the wrong side. no the hair was never that neatly brushed. the eyebrows are too thin right there. it drove sauron crazy so he eventually stopped trying and celebrimbor held onto that little victory all the way to mandos.

General Opinion over said character: i dont think about him enough! hes fascinating really

[lesbianbarbaragordon]

1 5 20 27 for the comic ask game!!!!

hiii moss so sorry i took so long. im so slow at this stuff, even though i love doing it hehe. thanks again for submitting !!!<3

Who's your favorite character and why?

Oh man I have a problem with choosing faves bc i'm just so indecisive !!! I usually analyze characters and get to appreciate their themes and personalities aka how well they are written, so it's so hard for me to dismiss others in favour of A Single One... bc i genuinely appreciate so many characters...

i usually have a character rotation in my brain honestly... this week it's bruce... last week it was barbara... damian... cass... tim... jason... helena... kate... all of these characters are so interesting to me... and they all tackle different things and have different personalities...

i think that in general, though, i tend to gravitate towards characters with interesting moral dilemmas... especially if they are complex and i get to play around with their actions and feelings.... i like to think as a hobbie, as weird as that sounds LOL

so i think that my final veredict is gonna be: jason and bruce (barbara is a close second)

5. What's your favorite comic book sibling relationship?

hmmmmm, i'd need to read more comics for this bc lately ive mostly been reading solo runs, but if i had to say any so far i think it's helena and tim (does this count? it counts)

i think the way they bounce off each other is soso funny, tim is the most unsufferable little gremlin to her and helena has to put up with it. he looks her up and annoys her but they would both take a bullet for each other. do u know what i mean? that's real young brother/older sister ism

20. If you were given a comic run for character [x], what would you write about?

Jason. I'm sorry.

I know I'd be able to write about Kate (in which case I'd write about lesbianism) or Barbara (in which case I'd write about girl rage) and even about Steph (more girl rage) but there's something so enticing to me about Jason

Because to an extent u can't *not* empathize with him during utrh, he has a point even if barely, and the way he's grown to see the world and his ideals comes from the tragedy of his death and resurrection and his subsequent feelings about it, about bruce, about himself and gotham and u need the slightest bit of compassion ontop of all the condemnation of his wrongdoings to make it right

like. there are *so* many examples where writers have resorted to demonizing him and butchering what he wants and what he says it's kind of frustrating. and i think the way forward to truly giving the jason from utrh what he needs, not what he wants is soso interesting and full of posibilities to explore

i want him to see the other side of the coin, i want him to come to terms with what the use of violence means and where that puts him, i want him to be questioned, to be faced with the consequences of what he did in utrh, to reach his own conclusions and find out what he wants isn't what will make him right again. i want him to come to terms with his own tragedy and the way he's destroyed himself to prove a point, to see how symilar he is to bruce and how that should tell him all he needs to know.

sorry. im very insane about him. anyways hope this was comprehensible hehe ^__^

27. Any comic runs you've been meaning to read?

Ooooh man, so many... soso many !!!

robin 1993 don't think i've forgotten about you !!! i rlly wanna pick this up and keep reading abt tim. he's my dearest little freak

batgirl 2000. for obvious reasons hehe

no man's land. i have faith in rucka and what he can write. @ moss u are also obsessed with this and i wanna talk abt it with u<3 so i'm rlly impatient to finally delve on it hehe, especially bc i know it's cass' first introduction ^__^

birds of prey. dinah lance and barbara gordon i will love u forever !!! im very excited to read about female superheroes bc they have a way to worm into my brain so deeply... i love female characters

batman: batman and son. ummmm i started this the other day but i have to keep going. i know all about the morrison racism... sigh... but it introduces damian my pookie nevertheless so i rlly wanted to check it out.

along the same line is resurrection of ra's al ghul and batman and robin (2009)

also some iconic stuff like bruce wayne murderer? fugitive, the man who laughs, hush, etc.

young justice (1998) for a healthy dose of tim :) also timkon. and cassie who i rlly wanna meet !!!

saga of the supersons pretty much because I think Jon is adorable and I like Damian, haven't finished it yet but i want at least to get to the end of it, even if some stuff is a little.. mediocre and uninspired

i also wanna read some stuff featuring christ kent and especially lois lane, i think she's a fantastic character and i'd love to delve deeper into her hehe

i think that's kinda everything... thanks for submitting again mwah !!! i love talking about comics (original ask game here)

[gayemeralds]

4, 8, 9, 15!! plus a bonus 19 from me... my favorite scene of yours of all time is still probably tails telling vanilla that sonic did his best to take care of him but also understanding that sonic was only 11 (sobbing) ... but other ones that give me emotions are, silver finally telling sonic he dies young and rouge and vector talking abt sonics origins. u have so much good stuff its so hard to pick

4. Do you prefer writing multi-chapter or oneshot fanfictions?

hmmmmm for instant gratification i love doing one shots but multi chapters are SO FUN i love writing a big story with multiple moving parts. im just so bad at finishing them 😔

8. What kind of document do you use to you write? Microsoft Word? Google Docs? Straight in the AO3 text box?

for a very very very long time i would just write in my email as a draft until i finally moved to google docs. lol.

9. What’s your favorite line(s) or scene(s) that you have written?

“Enjoy it all while you can,” Metal Sonic says, revving up his jet. He has plans to make, to set into motion. He needs to get better, and fighting Sonic like this hasn’t been working. He has to change his behaviour.

Sonic watches him. “Enjoy what?”

Again, he considers not answering him. But perhaps, if Eggman ever succeeded, if Eggman succeeds in taking over in this timeline, if Sonic’s luck runs out… Metal Sonic wishes he had taken more time to appreciate the small things. Flesh bodies are weak. But it was still his body.

“Being able to bleed,” he answers, before jetting off into the distance.

(from where will you be, if you can't find you? ive been thinking about the metal sonic is sonic roboticised theory lately haha)

15. Are there words, phrases, mannerisms or scenes you tend to use a lot?

i tend to explain time travel in the same manner in all of my time traveling fics… i just think the allegory of time existing as a knitted blanket is the most easily digestible version and makes the most sense to me haha

i have characters tap their chin a lot or quirk their brow simply because I do that (haha i do that!)

also sometimes i read those “dos and donts of writing” tip posts and something i do a lot is have characters say other characters names in conversations (like, “What do you think, Sonic?” or “I don’t know, Amy, that sounds like a bad idea.” etc) but apparently that’s like, unnatural and people don’t do that in real life much? which is funny because i name drop people irl literally all the time idk why

also hopefully this doesn’t get noticed a whole bunch but I have a nasty habit of just dropping the subject of a sentence or putting it at the end. like yoda. so i have to go back and edit my fics a lot over that lmao because sonic characters don’t talk like that

19. uno reverse !!! loved that fic care and maintenance of, especially the beginning where even concussed Sonic’s first priority is to check on tails asap. they are so… SIBLING!!! so good so good

also i KNOW im going to love ur explaining impossible ideas to impossible people i know it i know it in my heart i just haven’t read it but i know i’ll love it

[coldvampire]

sdffhghjhdgfhghgfhghdgfhghj ive been trying to work on this fic update for weeks but goddamn lmao i just. i am STRUGGLING which is ??? bc i still like it im still enthusiastic abt the project i simply feel like thats an unpopular stance and at this point im just getting embarrassed to keep posting my writing when the notes are just. me trying to reblog for exposure fdggh no one is obligated to ofc i know that but that post thats like ‘numbers arent everything but if you spent six hours on a cake that no one ate you might be more than a bit disappointed’ is extremely fucking real & im already having a hard time trying to convince myself im not universally disliked as-is tell me why people stop talking as soon as i contribute to the gc without fail like. every time i want to contribute i delete what i typed out bc i physically cant take this happening over and over again i dont know what i did wrong or what im doing wrong but clearly it was Something im just too stupid to figure out what. someone i am begging on my knees please explain what it is about me that repels people after a bit of time what do i lack just tell me so thats not helping either. 

im also trying v hard not to infodump about other interests at the moment bc once again. embarrassing as hell i just keep thinking abt how annoying i am rn to litcherally everyone esp when i want to talk about obscure shit no one but me is into so it feels even worse lmao. & having someone ask out of obligation feels patronizing bc i know theyre not interested about hearing about the thing its just pity. ive been the pity/obligation person my whole life and i Hate it i hate just being tolerated i hate feeling like nothing i say actually matters in the conversation and like everyone is just waiting for me to stop talking i hate the way i can see people’s eyes glaze over and how they dont even notice if i cut myself off mid sentence theyre just glad ive finally finished talking. im so deep in it im actively trying to start up some sort of maladaptive fantasy where i can to talk Guilt Free about stuff but hgjhkjj im also struggling to conceptualize a universe where thats a thing lmao i cant enjoy my comfort characters bc they would also find my ass grating gfhgh like straight up i know they wouldnt like me thinking abt that is actually just making me feel worse lmao i hate it here

ive spent so much time in my own head lately just Spinning tf out and overanalyzing every sentence i type or speak and still somehow managing to fuck up in spite of that. like its not about the fic!! its not about the fic! and i know its not bc im still working even if its slowly. really truly is not just about the fic but thats something i guess more acceptable to complain about bc at least people kinda understand that frustration even if its cringe to vent about but at LEAST. its better than this. also ive taken care of all my basic needs for the day so ive confirmed that im not just deprived of sustenance or some shit gfhgj no ive truly just been feeling like this for weekssss on end now and im so tired. i already typed a version of this in my private server (its basically just like a journal/reminder set up for myself, very convenient & gives me the illusion of replies temporarily gfhgjh) and that wasnt enough so hopefully posting here just alleviates it a bit 

[icharchivist]

cries think I made my ask too long so like half of it got deleted bc I typed it right into the askbox. anyways. I come bearing a3 thoughts! at first i was gonna watch the spring/summer and autumn/winter ones and then give my thoughts on both but. turns out i had too many thoughts lol? which i shouldve expected but i actually kind of... got bored by the first two chapters of this event! so i skipped and went to the stranger. and then went back. (1/?)

and then i got to like "tsuzuru and kazunari are having a fight?" and jumped on that like a starving wolf bc helllll yeah! i rly adored kazunari in sardine search, i think he was great! hes just so nice and has good vibes. he and taichi are kind of similar i feel? but i think their respective ages contribute to a lot of difference in their characters. why does it feel like this askbox limit personally wants me dead. (2/?)

anyways! i rly enjoyed the improv scene devolving to a real fight. admittedly i was kinda surprised that the content of that improv wasnt rly too similar to their actual fight? like normally a3 has the story of the play run parallel to like the actual real character drama so i thought the improv might function as the play in this event... it was still good tho. the scene i mean. (3/?)

also i rly liked tenma ragging on them afterwards. like he was mean but. first i adore tenma. second he just felt like. a different meddling type to muku lol? like the vibes he gave me were always like... im going to be a considerate leader and watch out for the ppl under me! therefore im gonna make sure theyre doing fine! aggressively. i think tenmas also just like a friendly person who likes to take care of others in general? like im not saying hes omi or anything but just like. (4/?)

that time he offers his car ride to juza so they can go to school together like hes surprisingly open compared to his initial prickliness. also ive got thoughts abt the tenma juza SSR conversation thing i read. one day ill make a tenma and juza fic and complete a trifecta haha... but thats something for another day! back to the actual story. the way tsuzuru dives right in after kazunari! that was so nice. like its easy to see how much they care abt each other. (5/?)

to the point where like even while theyre fighting theyre like angry but still like fairly quiet bc i think theyre both at least trying to be considerate of each other. ah the moment kazunari didnt respond to tsuzuru trying to talk to him i KNEW he was sick tho. felt proud of myself for calling that one but also the reason i knew is bc i have used the "character being sick during an argument causing them both to make up with each other" trope myself before so uh. like recognizes like haha. (6/?)

anyways the cg there was fuckin beautiful like kazunari looks so sad in the middle bit but then u see his shy smile? like hes sick but hes also like. happy to be there. idk. lovely. i adore kazu i think hes just deeply sweet to other people. tsuzuru telling him "you make everyone around you feel as bright and cheery as the things you design” is so wonderful too (7/?)

now im thinking. ah tsuzuru probably feels quite drained after a script and such (i know i am when i finish any piece--its like the emotions just rush out of me) so i like to think that like yknow. kazunari dropping by his room or whatever helps him set himself back to normal! but also when tsuzurus like oh u left ur magazines here! i suddenly remembered. wait shit kazunari and tsuzuru arent even roommates. wonder how much they bother masumi lmaooo. anyways overall very good story! (8/?)

some more thoughts: itaru and citron were so cute in this event! just like. citron saying itaru winking makes his heart skip a beat and itaru quoting citrons wrong sayings (which. i am also guilty of today i told my brother "we'll jump that bridge when we cross it" so) also i love how yuki is like "thank god i wasnt partnered with that hack" but like. yuki. u could literally just not talk about him. like its so funny to me yuki is like wow i hate tenma but he wont shut up abt him haha (9/?)

i also was a lil taken aback at hearing itaru go "for the lulz" tbh... like it fits him. but im mad it fits him? anywaysss thats all i had for this one! im gonna watch autumn/winter and go say my thoughts on that soon. sorry the ask was so broken up, idk what happened!

OLA FRIEND! Glad to see your thoughts again omg :3c

tho omg the fact tumblr deleted it all + the ask limit was all so evil D: poor friend.

I'm putting my answer under a read more because. Well. *waves hand* it got long.

The non-play events can be perhaps a little harder to get into because unlike the plays events that you start with a clear idea of at least the main plot (re: "they are preparing a play, i know the leads so i know who it will focus on"), non-plays events take a little longer to first set up what event they're participating in, how to prepare for it, and then bring up the conflict and which characters are going to have something to do with said conflict. So i can understand that they're a little harder to get into when we know the plays awaits.

On top of that, the first few events still were a bit tame because since it was early when the app released, i think they didn't go too heavy at once in case some people were still stuck on earlier chapters (esp since especially Winter is hard to unlock)

ANYWAY glad that it sucked you in on the second read :3c

So glad you were invested in that conflict!

Totally agreeing with you about Kazunari, and very good point about Taichi as well! they aren't the Puppy Pair for nothing :'D (Yuki took one look at both of them together and just Knew. His suffering knows no end (lovingly)). But yeah i think they have a lot in common, they both are the really bright and friendly figure, both also started in overcompensating a bit because both wanted to be popular in some ways.

But we do have, on one hand, Kazunari who wanted that rather late in his life while Taichi always thrived for that, the fact Kazunari made friends easily and it's just that he was scared of getting to the next level, while Taichi always struggled with this quest for popularity. In a way too both of them were at least scared to share a part of them, Kazunari worrying to show his thoughts, and Taichi being a spy and all of that... which impacts them really differently considering the guilt it puts on Taichi. And then you add their age into the mix, especially the fact Kazu is the oldest of his troupe and Taichi the youngest of his, it makes them fairly similar all while being fairly different.

both are so interesting to me and i love them bothhh, so it's always nice to see them have focus.

admittedly i was kinda surprised that the content of that improv wasnt rly too similar to their actual fight? like normally a3 has the story of the play run parallel to like the actual real character drama so i thought the improv might function as the play in this event

i love how you are seeing the patterns a3 tends to do it's so neat!

It's true the fight isn't really similar to their actual fight, though i do love that they had "swapped" their personality for the act and ended up insulting each other for theirr swapped personality. Like, Kazunari insulted part of himself in Tsuzuru's character and Tsuzuru did the same?? and then the fight escalated and the way Kazunari broke character hurts bc it's really that Tsuzuru hit where it hurts. But yeah it still wasn't too relevent to their actual fight, though i think the thing is that their fight was as such mostly because they tend to clash often due to their personalities rather than just this singular reason why, so to have the play go more "it's their personalities the problem" kinda hurt lol. But yeah still agreed that it didn't reflect much on the plot itself

I was rereading the improv bit to answer correctly and man since we're going to talk about Tenma next, i just. Love that when Kazunari, breaking character, his eyes sad, tells Tsuzuru "you have no rights talking to me like that..." it then cuts on Tenma being upset. Bc like. Exactly like you say, he wants to look out for the people under him. and like. Kazunari is his friend. A friend he also snapped at once and insulted for being who he was, so he probably could have relived a bit of his fight with Kazunari seeing those two fights; Except that now Kazunari is one of his closest friend and he doesn't like that.

Also like. It was also because he could still hide under the plot of the improv but it's so rare, and it never happened before that point, that Kazunari stands for himself in a "the way you treat me is unfair"? Like again re: his fight with Tenma, when Tenma snapped at him, while Tenma was unfair with him, Kazunari took the blame, called himself annoying and all yaknow?

The fact Kazunari is starting to accept that he can take more place for himself is something the whole Summer Troupe have been trying to help him work on, but especially Tenma. Tenma is always there trying to push Kazunari to say what he means, to express his feelings, to stop hiding.

And for once, Kazunari does that in front of everyone... and it's because he's breaking because of his fight with Tsuzuru.

I think Tenma probably felt it was even more of a reason to get involved like, this is the thing he's been working on with Kazunari about, and now he's being all hurt about it, not on Tenma's watch!

And i totally agree with your take on Tenma! (and would LOVE to read the Tenma and Juza fic once you get to it :3c). I think, Tenma is really caring and is trying to take a place as a caretaker and all, but unlike Omi, he has absolutely no reference for it.

Omi is the eldest of multiple brothers and everything indicates his parents have always been lovely to him. Add to it how he ended up leader of a delinquent crew he was clearly looking after, Omi has a history of taking care of people, of nurturing them, and he knows what he's doing. Meanwhile Tenma grew up on TV sets, mostly surrounded by adults and not by people his age, mostly getting advice from being ordered around by directors i think. And his parents are distant, hyperfocused on their job, not really nursing with him. So Tenma meanwhile really didn't have a family emotional support and was in situation where he couldn't befriend other kids his age. His only reference was probably Igawa (his agent) and i think for a long time he didn't exactly see it, and Igawa remained mostly professional so there was probably the idea of it not being sincere? That Tenma had to grow out of.

So like, they're both extremely nurturing and caring, but my point is that Omi has experiences in it and is at ease with it, while Tenma has been so alone and in places were he had no support system that even if he wants to support others, he still struggles with how to do it because he has no set exemple. And that's his development in the main story arc, to learn from how Izumi shows she cares in order to care back at them all.

Like i mean the way Tenma yelled at them about their mistakes at first feel like he would have picked it up from some directors on TV set yaknow? Probably hearing them say that with no consequences on others actors, seeing it worked, didn't think "that's an abuse of power and the actors probably all think badly of their director for that" but "wow that works", tried it on his troupesmates and realized this is... not how that works. And it's spending time watching how Izumi encourages them that have him fix his way to approach it.

So yeah i got lost too into it but like. I feel you on Tenma i love him so much and i love his development so to see him get pissed and involved there? was really nice. even if he was aggressive about it. He's still learning.

ANYWAY back to Tsuzuru and Kazunari, totally agree with what you say next. They still care a lot about each other and yeah they're at a point where this consideration they have for each other make their anger more quiet than trying to attack one another (Banri could NEVER-). so yeah totally agree with you!

DLKFJDLKF i LOVE the reasoning on "recognizing that Kazunari was sick". Your writer's powers making you see through... *coughs* unlike Tsuzuru....

AND YEAH ALL YOU SAY ABOUT THE CG.. YEAH. Kinda crying thinking about it again now LDKJFLKDJF It's just. Everything about it is so soft and tender. The things Tsuzuru tells Kazunari are soo so sweet sobs. They're just adorable i love those kids. and also i feel you for Kazu he's just that great huh?

The whole set up about Kazu dropping by his room is so so cute! I love it! Like probably the very first time Tsuzuru braces himself because "oh no i'm not in the mood to stand mister hyperenergy himself" but Kazunari quickly adjust his energy so that Tsuzuru can just recharge without being overwhelmed. Yes it would drive Masumi completely nuts. Which i think is a plus for Tsuzuru like, hey, if Masumi gets annoyed once in a while it's a win. But yeah also i think that Tsuzuru and Kazunari should really have the Artistic Soldiarity of Students in Art school Probably Working Until Very Late To Complete Their Projects. Would love if at the end Tsuzuru gave it back yaknow?

but yeah their story was really nice i'm so glad you liked it! :D

oh god yeah Itaru and Citron were SO cute in it too, i also love the comments Citron makes about Itaru's winks. Just there flirting in front of everyone like those two embarrassing friends huh. (probably with Muku being all starry eyes considering he greatly admires both Itaru and Citron and, well, Romance.). And yeah i love how Itaru ends up so much into Citron's rhythm (and this idiom you said? is glorious actually, 10 points for you)

DLKFJDLKF what a call out toward Yuki. "yes i hate Tenma,no i won't shut up about him, also if YOU say you hate Tenma i'm going to stab you with my needles, have a nice fucking day.". I love their dynamics so much aha

And yeah Itaru is there cursing us the whole time with the fact he's the greatest nerd ever and it fits him perfectly. It makes me laugh so hard.

Thank you so much for having shared your thoughts there! it's always a blast to read through them and i dearly enjoyed it! (+ it makes me relive the event a little and it makes me soft!)

I'm so glad you enjoyed it! So glad you had so many thoughts about all of this, what a blast.

thank you for sharing, and looking forward the Autumn/Winter reactions :3c

Take care!

[nopeferatu]

Arthur and Belarus 🧘

Arthur

favorite thing about them:

the fact that hes a little bitch LOL i love weirdo tsundere gremlinesque characters like him so freaking much

least favorite thing about them:

i dont actually know if i have a least favorite thing abt him?? he has flaws but i like him for those too. i guess i can say one of the most compelling flaws abt him that makes me sad for him is this idea that he wants love and affection but he doesn't know how to go about asking for that, so he pushes people away and keeps them at a distance first before they have the chance to reject him

favorite line:

"am i catholic or protestant? god i dont know" that'll always be gold

brotp:

Platonic FrUk is probably my all time fave bro pair

otp:

Take a wild guess

random headcanon:

he can dance REALLY really well, and he can learn new dances really quickly too

unpopular opinion:

let the man be soft for christs sake and dont moralize making him this rugged, hard person for like. woke points lol if you dont care for when ppl portray him as softer or in tune w feminine interests, you can just. say so and avoid that content, but to act as tho its "bimbofication" or something and then accuse the ppl who do make him softer or more feminine of being "fetishistic of irl gay men" ? or something? is really out there

(also to be clear here, im not talking abt anyone ive interacted w personally. ive just seenx at a distance, certain spheres of fans/shippers who have said specifically that portraying characters like england or poland as more feminine or softer or whatever is akin to fetishizing real gay men and i am so very tired of that narrative bc as it is feminine men have been demonized thru history, even amongst other lgbts, and while i think there are certain portrayals that i have contention w i dont think its a good thing to immediately write off ppl who have femme/feminine/"soft" hcs for characters as being fetishistic)

song i associate w them:

i have a whole playlist dedicated to him tbh fhduhd BUT the one song that I've been thinking listening on repeat lately while thinking abt him singing this to Alfred is For a Pessimist, I'm Pretty Optimistic by Paramore

two other faves include Englishman in New York by Sting

and From Eden by Hozier, which is another song that I like to imagine him singing to Alfred

favorite picture of them:

Belarus

favorite thing about them:

shes a certified Weird Girl™️ and proud fhfyr like i just love her sm. moody goth woman can step on me

least favorite thing about them:

i dont care for the rly exaggerated canon murderousness of her. in fanon i tone it down and just like to make her a moody bitch w issues lol

favorite line:

i dont think i have one :( sorry

brotp:

hrm....hrm. Her and Russia I think? I think theyve got each others backs always no matter how reluctant or willing either parties are to admit that.

otp:

I fucking love t4t AmeBela. Usually I hc Alfred as gay tbh but MMGMH theres something so fucking good abt eager, young and inexperienced w love Alfred being so puppy dog smitten by the tall sexy Belarussian goth woman, and she just looks at him like hes a pesky fly that keeps following her around 😭 its SO GOOD.

random headcanon:

i think shes super tall and extremely elegant in her movements

unpopular opinion:

she's my beautiful wild trans wife ;)

song i associate with them:

i dont really have one but probably another molchat doma song tbh bc theyre a goth band and theyre actually from belarus

favorite picture of them:

LITERAL WIFE

[furymint]

All Prompts

#02: Sway

#03: Muster

#06: Bonus

#08: Clamor

#09: Lush

#12:  Tooth & Nail

#15: Ache

#16: Lucubration

#20: Bonus

#22: Argy-Bargy

#24: Beam

Header  | Reflection of some of my favorite peers’ prompts under the cut!

@aethernoise​ -- #11: Ultracrepidarian

tired curses!!!! i also really love this contrast in their work..... its rly cute. alyx just saved the world and aymeric is hating the dictionary. i like how rough his narration is and then alyx calls and everything speeds up, and i especially love him staring into the empty room. it put another contrast between their circumstances, but its also rly damn accurate abt how it feels to share a moment over the phone w someone. it made me smile a lot

@ahlis-xiv​ -- #23: Shuffle

this one made me laugh ksjdf ahlis’ distaste for the saucer despite being drawn to it is hysterical, but it also mirrors a lot of her character flaws: avoiding vulnerability, placing stoicism before genuineness, planting her frustration on external things instead of herself. even confronting her own feelings draws some curses out of her, and i love that display of her personality.

@autochthonousone -- #09: Nonagenarian

i love me some reflection and mentorship. also im obsessed with “let ‘lone this ‘n”.........dialect is such a hit or miss thing when writing or reading, but god youve got it and i love that line so much. barry’s relationship w stalwart is even better tho, and i cant repeat enough how much i love their dynamic of fair/stern/wise and distant/brutish/actually-paying-complete attention.

@brave-horizon -- #12: Tooth & Nail

talk abt using the setting..............i rly struggle w incorporating setting so this was a little mind-blowing to me. we got a really cool action scene plus established an entire town and conflict all at once?? battle scenes are hard. but ur vocab is so precise and stuff like “seized midstride” and “spilling its pilot” are rly inspiring me rn!! wind magic is smth ive brainstormed in the past but u have such good ideas w it and im so pumped just rereading it. its so good

@erstwhile25 -- #05: Matter of Fact

oh my god. some kind of dialogue god comes down and hands kail all his words, or else he’s just the dialogue god himself. im leaning towards the latter. i wish to god i could say “very small dogs with the barest streaks of sanity” in daily life, and honestly i might start to. the crew of the rook are always a joy to see + the development of their conversation takes such a meaningful turn that it really sticks after the laughs

@endangered-liaison​ -- #05: Matter of Fact 

sorry not sorry jaejh is cool!!!! he’s super nasty and terrible and interesting and i loved his voice, but i esp love how well he pushed the conflict and just Ruined Everything. i rly live how his influence bleeds into the others through their fear. The kids go from hoping or expecting to smth better, to not even debating that he’s lying bc it will just turn out worse. the berry stains as a gun on the wall never struck me either, and i was SHOOK

@high-and-away -- #10: Avail

honestly this was the hardest one to pic a fav for. i rly loved so many of these bc they check a lot of boxes for my Brand. this one sits the longest with active conflict + does a fantastic job staying clear despite all the trails it picks up w max’s foil n comradeship, the chocobo’s higher level of pity over people, the chaotic pack of Resistance members, and the highlander that vicky reasons over n kills. i love that word “limning” now; ur vocab always finds ways to surprise me w the way u use them (esp in describing settings)

@holyja -- #03: Muster

usually when i think of lizzy writing, i think of how perfect ur verbs are, but this time i really liked the visuals and tone. hyana pushing food around her plate and sitting on the rooftops had such a lonely feel to them, but at the same time were rly enjoyable and clear imgs despite not having to be described forever. serella’s dialogue was perfectly on-the-nose, too. usually i rly linger on what is given too much detail, but this rly showed me how nice it is to air things out n leave the thought monologue unsaid.

@karoiseka --  #24: Beam

hell yeah memory lane time. i loved seeing CT from karo’s pov and seeing where her priorities lay or moved. i also liked the life u gave to the little parts left untouched by the narrative, like walking through CT and the heartbeat in the soul vessel. idk what could be more satisfying that a reunion either, so following karo into the ocular was some Good Shit

@mythrilreflections -- #15: Ache

does this get bonus points just for being in o’ghomoro? yes. i love how the tunnels are characterized by the senseless kobolds in them. the added pressure from their reasonings for being in this hellhole is even better, and i love the sigils concept. jace’s narration is so cold, too, which makes both the kobold’s ferocity and the team’s desperation more poignant: he doesn’t sound the type to exaggerate.

@norhimorovine -- #14: Part

this one just screams fairy tale to me. the others do too, but the repetition of events rly knocks this one up the flagpole of ‘belongs in some mid 19th century kids story collection.’ i LOVE the sisters’ banter, and how the younger daughter gets incorporated a bit further for her attention. having the soldier take little pieces of each environment to prove they were real made them a lot more real to me, too.

@snowbird-down -- #03 Muster

if u think im NOT gonna lose my mind shrieking over stream of consciousness as one of the #1 ways of writing trauma, u have not been around me for very long. the varying sentence length is rly successful here, and i esp love the part where people are rushing into the ship and she has to stab a dude to keep him from coming aboard. it’s such a back and forth determining who is humanity and who is the faceless antagonist for a minute, n ofc i love that.

@stars-bleed-hearts-shine​ -- #28 -- Irenic

i was p surprised that my fav of urs came so late, but i feel like this piece has a lot of what your really good at, and which i admire a lot: you aren’t afraid of emotional dialogue or arguments based in more than factual debate, and you capitalize on casual thoughts that reveal a lot more than they do at face value. i esp like that you rly make the most of two characters that overlap in values and personality so often--they acknowledge that overlap and work together with what they share.

@yunkinko​ -- #05 Matter of Fact

im gonna forget abt that little rat line bc the last line is a kick in the teeth. i always admire ur ability to expand tiny details into lasting events. x’arhll’s musings also cut so different from the rest of the scene, separating her from the others and mhifa even further from her, so i love that contrast. the “arc of water” stayed with me for a while too.

[seijch]

ANNOUNCEMENT: NOT A HELLO, BUT NOT A GOODBYE EITHER

omg hi ... im like . ashamed to come back after saying brief hiatus in october and then disappearing off the face of the earth til FEBRUARY but under the cut i will be explaining myself and the following, if youre interested (and a tl;dr at the very bottom if you don’t wanna scroll thru this obnoxiously long post):

the reason(s) i was gone for so long

what i was doing during that time (its just a personal account yall can scroll past this idrc)

the status of those um . halloween requests

the future of this account

i. so . Hiatus .

i know. i know . i probably mentioned it when i made the announcement post, but my mental health likes to go on one of those rides. yknow the ones where you go like up rlly fast then down maybe and then up then DOWN .... its like that. i needed a break and every time i wanted to come back or thought about it, something would happen and i would get stuck in my own head.

a big reason for getting stuck in my head was (and i hate to admit this ... i hate to admit that i have Insecurities On The Internet) my feelings of inadequacy regarding my writing. i love to plot fics, i love concepts and characters and making little headcanons but i dont ... know if i love writing rn. and i thought for the longest time that like . whatever ill just push thru it its fine ill be fine but it kinda wasnt lmao you can kinda see it in my halloween reqs and what become of them when i get to that but i began to feel like nothing i had put out or would put out would hold up prose wise (and normally i dont feel like this im much more “idc its my life im living it” but thats not a rant for tumblr LMAO). i still feel like that -- like im better as a reader than a writer. but . You Know :-)

tl;dr: mental state go brrrrr

ii. anywhere here’s wonderwall

when i left, i was in a steadily decreasing mental and emotional state, made worse by a situation at work that really was a case of petty jealousy on my end and rlly isnt very consequential now despite how much pain and resentment it gave me when it Was a problem so i wont get into it. the tl;dr of november and december was me using work as an crutch and distraction -- i know my job, i do it well, it helped me not think about my responsibilities and obligations and inadequacies. of course, as the holiday season grew busier n busier i was scheduled so often that i moved 88 or so miles (according to my apple watch, which i ONLY wear at work since im never anywhere else outside my house) and fell into a cycle of showering n sleeping at my house before going back the next day. (theres definitely something to be said abt capitalism and “grind culture” here but once again its not the time or place snsjkdfds)

at the turn of the new year, i happened to remember a birthday card i hadnt filed away for safekeeping from a friend of mine that id been horribly out of touch with til that point. i started crying because i realized how out of touch id been in general up until that point. the month of january was great for me: i was focused, happy, and in a much better place than i had been before. the end of it brought me down focus wise and im hoping that enough time away from my distractions will refocus me bc i ... need it LMAO and though ive burned out from that level of productivity and gotten distracted again im ... trying to stay positive which i think is the most i can do 😁👍🏼

media wise, i got real into stardew valley (but burned out bc i played it extensively as a way to wind down after work), the pokemon platinum romhack renegade platinum (still havent finished it bc of school n i played it w the intent to see if i could nuzlocke it ... bitch its so hard but its so fun bc of it), briefly assassins creed: odyssey (im one of those ppl who completes an entire region before i move to the next so you can tell i burned out of that one + wouldnt have the time to properly devote to it even if i didnt), got back into genshin impact after pulling for xiao (after not touching it for like . months), and danganronpa. yes . danganronpa 😐 i Know. i stopped playing it after the second trial of the first game bc i was so hurt by the outcome and picked it up in late january only to get sucked in (thank god i had the foresight to buy the second and third games during the steam winter sale). rn im at the start of chapter 4 if anyone wants to come in my asks and um . talk to me abt danganronpa

tl;dr: I’m Into Danganronpa Now

iii. you realize halloween was three months ago right

i mentioned this in the first section, but i love to plot things. every request is plotted or at least has a solid foundation. i had fun detailing what concept i wanted to go with considering what i was given, and there were some bangers i might touch up in the future. but heres whats going to happen to the requests themselves:

there are two finished requests. one will be posted tomorrow and the other will be touched up (just bc i finished it doesnt mean its good 🧍‍♂️) and scheduled for next saturday. as for the ones i never got around to ...

i will not be finishing those requests. i hate to be That Person, but i feel like we all expected this 🧍‍♂️ what i will do is post all of my notes for each request in batches -- requests that have an @ to go with them will be mentioned in the post proper, but anon asks will be pictured. (there are some asks that came from blogs who are now deactivated but i wrote down all the prompts and remember most of those askers so ill cross that bridge when i get there) there will most likely be an excerpt or two simply bc i think i mightve written a few plot points or interactions in the form of bullet points. i rlly am sorry about doing this but i remember looking at my notion doc with all the prompts and feeling ... like i wasnt measuring up n it wasnt just to myself or to some intangible concept of “other” id constructed but it was instead to those who requested n actually WANTED to see and hear and read my writing and i ...... im gonna admit thats another big reason i avoided this site.

regardless, youll definitely get what i have (and likely more than just my bullet points and illegible handwriting).

tl;dr: im sorry. what i have in terms of plot, concept, and interaction for every request will be posted, but i cant say ill ever complete them and mean it.

iv. so what now?

well i mean . im not entirely sure how sold i am on haikyuu in the content creation department (as a creator n to a lesser extent, as a consumer). as mentioned previously, its no longer my primary focus. it doesnt mean im not into haikyuu anymore; i have a lot of love for those boys but i cant rlly say im even caught up w recent fandom activity and also havent even finished s4 pt2 LMAO thats on my to do list

and despite all that, i still want to share my plots n concepts and snippets and maybe even fics. it wont happen anytime soon. it might not even happen. but i mean . its better than me saying i wont write ever again shjdkfs but either way ill probably use this blog as a personal blog w the occasional ask game for dialogue prompts (those are always so fun i love making up aus to fit like . the most mundane prompts)

as for my works (past and any potential future), ive opened an ao3 acc here n ill be editing n possibly expanding on my old works to post there. tumblr, to me, is The x reader hub, but i figure more x reader fics on ao3 is never a bad thing.

ill be deleting/posting drafted posts to the queue since they were all meant to be queued anyway as well as (sorry again 🧍‍♂️) deleting or answering asks in the inbox. (moots if you get a notif from me saying i rbed your post from months ago ... mind your business) im very hard to get ahold of and its ... a problem. expect an overhaul of the nav n shit to reflect my new direction n also because i feel like i cant tell if my passion for carrd is shared by the majority HSDKLFS maybe its better to read my info in a normal post ykwim .......

and of course . if youve read all this n decided im no longer worth the follow, i sure as hell cant stop you. thank you for wanting to, at some point, hear what i have to say -- it means more than you think.

tl;dr: writing will be edited and reposted to ao3, this blog will be a personal blog with a hint of writing (sometimes)

the tl;dr to end all tl;drs:

im back! i wont be as active as i used to due to a lessened interest in haikyuu in general, but i have an ao3 acc now where all my past work will be edited, possibly expanded, and reposted. any future work will also find itself there. my halloween requests will be posted in batches as incomplete concepts, plots, and snippets of scenes; i wont be promising to finish any of them.

there are still fic concepts im attached to and want to finish, but i cant promise any more writing on my end. this blog will be a personal blog with maybe writing, not a writing blog with my personal thoughts all over it.

regardless if you stick around or not, its been crazy sexy cool (equal emphasis) being on haikyuu tumblr even tho i wasnt around for long ... even tho its not my main focus anymore, im still excited to see what the future might hold 🤝

love, ari 💌