#when did i do that??????? non hs art?????????????

[fribbitz]

everytime i post random shit here on my main i feel like im fucking up the homestuck flavoured vibe i got going on sorry homestuck followers (which is everyone) as consolation here's a fun fact about hs, theres infinite headcanon possibilities and not every hc has to have perfectly sound text supported logic. All and every hs characters can be fagdyke furries if you want it hard enough and if people are policing that they can shove it.

[moodr1ng]

im well aware that its profoundly cringe to admit to this publicly, alright, but sometimes i just stop to think and realize.. literally my entire life would be radically different if i hadnt been into homestuck when i was 14. like, i would not have had some of the fundamentally important relationships that shaped the way my teen years and young adulthood went. and due to this i would not be living in this home. i would not have the same friends today. i would have been in very different social circles and mightve evolved very differently as a person. i literally might not be alive - i have had my life quite literally saved by friends who i met or bonded with through being into this shitty comic, and by literally i mean was physically prevented from dying last minute. like thats crazy?? and all over homestuck????

[works-of-heart]

A little chat about my art

-wip of a fox Lucien Vanserra (I plan to do a fawn elain too)

Over the course of a week or so, I have been getting harassed by anons who accused me of using AI in my work, and not being a legitimate artist. Most have been very, VERY accusatory and nasty and I was tempted to make an angry post about it then, but instead I just ignored them, deleted their comments and went on with life.

Yesterday morning I woke up to the ask about AI, and while I was fed up with all these sudden asks, the person who asked me was at least kind.

I don't know where the accusations started, I thought it might have been antis, but if I'm real about it, I don't think too many are looking at my stuff, say for the few strays I had in the past. Only one negative, and one quite positive.

I do not know if people understand what kind of accusations like that makes of an artist, but it IS hurtful! If people start spreading lies, people will believe them and with enough people believing them, it starts to look like it's true.

I have NEVER used AI in ANY of my works. EVER.

All of my work has all been done digitally on my tablets, using CSP. I have been drawing digitally for over 20 years. It is fine if you do not like my work, it's totally ok if you think my anime style is ugly or childish, it's alright if you think I'm not a great artist. All of that is fine, I respect everyone's opinion.

What is NOT ok, is saying that I am stealing art. That I am a fake who uses AI and I'm stealing from legitimate artists who put work into it. I've worked for my art all my life, since I was a child, with the only aspiration to share the wonders of my mind with the world. These accusations, these hurtful things cut very deep.

I've been a fan of Acotar since 2020, and in love with Elucien ever since then. When I looked online, I found that most Elucien/Lucien art was buried under mountains of Elriel. There are some amazing artists for Elriel, truly beautiful, but they were eclipsing any that I saw for my ship. The ones I found of Elucien were beautiful! Stunning diamonds that would often get lost under the mountains of fan art for the other ships.

So when I made a blog that would be more focused on my love of Acotar and Elucien, I made a vow to fill the space with Elucien art!

That is all I ever wanted to do. Was to be in a space I can geek out with others who love the ship as much as I do, to make pieces that make everyone feel. I spent hours working on my elucien comics, just because I wanted to share these with you all, to give the feels. I am a comic creator myself, I've been working as one for almost 10 years now, it is my job. So pushing these out are works of love.

This was my mother's day picture. I had 3 separate folders for Elain, Lucien, and their daughter. I worked very, very hard on this picture to get it out by the day, in celebration for mother's day. My work is always a bit rough in the beginning stages, but I promise, I put all the work into it. I've studied from other artists I admire, to put it into my own style, something unique to me. A style that I've drawn since HS and was constantly mocked for, because it's too 'anime' too 'asian' and not western enough. Still, that doesn't matter as long as people enjoy it, and I love what I do.

An elucien wip of a picture that I never finished.

A picture of a Non-Acotar work I did

Some of my work never sees the light of day... because I'm so self conscious about my work, about my art in general. I never think it's good enough, and I struggle with trying to finish them because I want to only put out what I think is worthy of being shown. Sharing my art is so incredibly nerve-wracking for me, the fear of judgment, of never feeling it's good enough. I put my all into my work, my whole heart and soul into them, and though I know I need more practice, but I am trying.

Suffice to say, I've never used any form of AI in my art, I've never stolen anyone's work and claimed it as my own. I have referenced poses every now and then, and painting styles that I've studied, but never have I EVER cheated through any of these pictures.

Had someone had a real concern, coming to me and asking politely would be fine. Thank you to the anon yesterday who was truly kind and showing concern, but I don't know where this started from. If you are concerned a work may be illegitimate, you can always DM the artists and ask them kindly, I am sure they will no doubt be willing to prove their work if only to confirm they're real. Witch hunts where you just deem someone of using AI and spreading rumors and lies does MORE harm to the art community than you think. Artists are already hesitant about uploading their work for fear it will be stolen or used, but claiming they use AI with NO PROOF, and spreading misinformation is not only doing damage and making sure they'll never want to post again, but it impacts the community as a whole.

That being said, I am still going to draw and paint and post my artwork. I have no intention of backing down. I just hope as a community we can do better and be kinder to people who are spending their free time making things and sharing with us all. It's incredibly vulnerable to put yourself out there, and just remember, we are people behind these screens.

[anotherbluesunday]

✨15 QUESTIONS FOR FRIENDS✨

.

.

.

I was tagged by the lovely Sindar @remusjohnslupin (fight me, I’m ready 👁️👄👁️🔪). So excited to do one of these “get to know me” threads again. They’re always so interesting to read.

.

.

Are you named after someone? Nope. I’m named after a project my father worked on (the Mars rover missions) and my mom’s favorite day of the week, Sunday.

When was the last time you cried? A few days ago. It was for a role though so that doesn’t really count (?). In a non-acting capacity I’d say a week ago when I had the wonderful realization that a 40 hour work week isn’t condusive to my creative process and school schedule and cried in relief as I put in my two-weeks notice.

Do you have kids? Nope and I don’t want to have any theough pregnancy. I don’t like the idea of being physically pregnant and my family has a few things genetically that I wouldn’t want to pass down to my children like breast cancer and ovarian cancer. But I want to adopt three kids someday—preferably preteens or teens because I hate knowing that there are kids going through life in foster care and are phased out of the system at 18 with no experience and they’re expected to either sink or swim. It’s pretty heartless tbh.

What sports do you play/have played? Oh gosh, okay, there’s a lot. I was captain of track for all four years, swim and dive for three. I was the ace pitcher of my HS’s baseball team. Played volleyball. Did tennis for a year but didn’t stick with it. I surf, skateboard, snowboard, and rock climb and I’m thinking of picking up dirt biking because my friends from my work won’t leave me alone about it.

Do you use sarcasm? I’m a writer. The answer is pretty self-explanatory. lol.

What is the first thing you notice about people? Their tells and mannerisms. I always notice if someone’s words match their mannerisms and behavior and that tells me half of what I need to know about the and what they won’t say aloud.

What’s your eye colour? Dark brown.

Scary movies or happy endings? In the words of Tulio and Miguel, both. Both is good.

Any talents? I can write and play a mean fiddle/violin solo. I also have a talent for injuring myself but bouncing back quickly and with little fear toward repeating the same mistake that got me hurt in the first play (broke my nose twice snowboarding, still go up to the mountains every winter).

Where were you born? The forests of North Carolina. My family has since moved.

What are your hobbies? Writing (the love of my life), going to the gardening center for more plants because there’s no such thing as too many, hiking, biking, running, rock climbing with friends, annoying/teasing my friends while they’re rock climbing, discovering something new in the city on my days off, camping, calling @remusjohnslupin a Sindar and cackling like a bog witch when she scolds me for it, etc… The list is endless.

Do you have any pet? I have a monster named Mitzy who claims to be a chihuahua but I know she’s a gremlin larping as a dog.

How tall are you? 5’10”. Idk how many centimeters that is exact. I think it’s ~178cm.

Favourite subject in school? English, geology, and art. I can’t pick so it’s a three-way draw.

Dream job? Writer-Director that moonlights as a contributing writer to Scientific American.

.

.

.

Now to tag! I tag @tastethesetears @broken-everlark @frnotelise @the--lysine-contingency @semifontos @angelicangelx @woefullysomber @wednesdayandherhyde @resisting-moonlight82 @thelovelybookworm @you-can-hufflefuck-right-off @imdonessentialk @insomniac1994 @perpetuallyvvperplexed @vadacore @michiganstray @mistressvera @allamericansbitch @hippydippyloser @karrrrrliiita @leavesdriftinginthewind @darling-gemini @darlingfuego @dark-visitors @darklinaforever @certaindreamchopshop @poisonivy13blog @trashy-stargazing-captain @shadowofthesun123 @osnapitzmel1 @slaanesh12 @starlemoncb @josette15 @pey0805 @crimsonnsstuff @gardenoblues @justonemorewallflower

[txttletale]

could you elaborate on what you mean by "the ethics of of an antagonistic mode of writing"? the way i understand it is something along the lines of artistic value vs. effect (?) on audience? i mostly just don't understand what it means! chilli + chocolate factory was a fascinating read, but i feel like i can't really wrap my mind around it. i also haven't read hs or any of the epilogues except through hsmtw and even then i didnt get it, so i might be missing common culture. thanks!

yeah i just mean, like--for me, at least, the emotional/thematic nexus of the whole work is chapter six, where an internet commenter has a breakdown about the candy contest which is very obviously also about art and the artist-audience dynamic:

5Gpants: there is never going to be a moment for me when i understand everything on the big marble 5Gpants: but someone can make a little marble for me, and if they put heart and care and thought into it then i get sucked into it 5Gpants: and if they do a really shrapgrinking job, it has an ending and it all comes together in the right way 5Gpants: and when that happens, man 5Gpants: that fucking feeling of just 5Gpants: "I get it. I understand everything." 5Gpants: we never get that feeling anymore 5Gpants: we never ever ever ever get that feeling, and when we do it's bullshit 5Gpants: but i live for that bullshit 5Gpants: those little marbles are few and far between and i love them so much 5Gpants: they make me want to care 5Gpants: they make me care 5Gpants: they even make me start to care about the big marble again 5Gpants: it's religion, almost 5Gpants: not almost 5Gpants: it's religion 5Gpants: so imagine being a person who figures this shit out 5Gpants: and imagine having the power to make those little marbles 5Gpants: and you go and say, you know what 5Gpants: i'm going to make little marbles on purpose 5Gpants: and i'm going to get people to like them 5Gpants: and i'm going to get people to like them a lot 5Gpants: and then i'm going to take the marble, right before that feeling of understanding can come, like right right right before 5Gpants: and i'm going to crush it 5Gpants: i'm going to step on it and toss it out and LAUGH at them in their dumb fucking faces for having the audicity to wanting to LIKE something and KNOW something 5Gpants: to want to figure out an answer 5Gpants: to want to make the world better 5Gpants: to want to feel 5Gpants: to want to stop experiencing that neverending apathy in the face of constant complication and convolution 5Gpants: to want some shred of understanding 5Gpants: it's evil

like obviously the novel continues a long way past that and a lot of the most interesting stuff is in this second half but this chapter (which was titled 'the end'--remember this was uploaded serially!) kind of signposts a lot of the ideas that the fic is throwing about, about how artists and audience interact--raising questions like "do artists 'owe' anyone anything?" and "do stories 'deserve' to end?" which are a lot of the basis on which the fic's broader critique of dahl and children's literature more broadly is built.

like, the stuff with the GAG and its distillation of characters and what that means for a work's moral outlook, what it says about how people view children and things targeted towards them--i think that is a much better exploration of questions around, like, 'what does canon mean for characters' than anything homestuck did because it's grounded in form and an understanding that texts are written intentionally rather than taking the pseudoplatonic 'characters are real and exist independently of their writing' hussian position.

and unlike the totally surface-level pretence of being 'post-canon' or 'non-canon' that the v. much officially licensed and copyrighted homestuck epilogues put on, fudge revelation is in fact a fanfiction! it's a fanfiction that shows an intimate deep familiarity with dahl's work and a deep loathing for it at the same time! it's a fanfiction that repurposes dahl's characters and stories, and puts them to new and interesting and primarily critical purposes as a form of direct and hostile engagement with the original text!

also, mahuika vapes

[davekat-sucks]

I think the lores and art of Hiveswap and its visual novel spin-off influenced Homestuck fandom a lot. For example, Snowbound Blood, a spin-off visual novel of Vast Error, has its own troll call cards called Trollodex. And there are fan-made troll call cards in hs fandom.

If Fiamet from Hiveswap were really a limeblood or "mutant," she may inspire those fantrolls as she is suspected a non-violetblood. Like a mutantblood (technically, the hiveswap official website counts his sign as a limeblood one.) Karkat does.

But Homestuck was not really known as a visual novel. It was only until Pesterquest that it gets introduced this. For the base webcomic, it is mostly known for flash fight scenes and often top-down adventure segments like you see in Legend of Zelda, Earthbound, and more. I didn't mind it being point and click adventure like they did for Act 1 on Hiveswap. Because hey, at least it kept the ADVENTURE part. People don't really count visual novels as adventure games, especially if the action moments told through dialogue. Other games try to make up for it by having other gameplay elements such as Super Robot Wars being a tactical RPG game. And that takes VN dialogue aspects. WhatPumpkin using visual novels to exposition the lore is their lazy way of telling and never showing. That and because of shit like Andrew Hussie not wanting to make in-universe biography books like how he rejected the whole Aspect and Classpect physical book. A book about Alternia written by someone like Karkat, The Condesce, Doc Scratch, or anyone else, is never a thing because nobody thought it would be a good idea. Think of like how Alex Hirsch actually made and produce an in-universe Journal 3 book for Gravity Falls. Not only it contains pages from the show, but also ones that aren't seen and new ones that were added in by the characters themselves. It happened again in Book of Bill too. That's how you can show off the world from within the series of telling AND showing in a creative way. Visual novels can only go so far for some if either the reader prefers seeing the action or if the writing is good to describe what is happening. And even then, some visual novels would use music, sound effects, voice acting, and a drawn CG scene to help users imagine what is happening. Pesterquest, Hiveswap Friendsim, and now Vriska in Hell VN doesn't do that. Why couldn't Andrew Hussie or WhatPumpkin do that instead? Especially when you think about it, this could have helped backed up Hiveswap after blowing all that 2 million dollars.

[osaka-lilac]

okay i’m finally free and can do this tag game cause i was busy sorry for the wait lol

tagged by @killingevie @arodynamics-xo and @formula-red <3333 i love u guys

1. are you named after anyone?

yea! i’m named after my great aunt and she’s pretty cool and she’s super sweet. my full name is a different spelling of alison krauss, she’s a bluegrass singer that my parents like, bonded over. she’s pretty cool actually

2. when was the last time you cried?

uhhh probably when i was still getting over my ex and it was still raw. i got close to it during a rush at work literally today and i had like 5 orders to do alone and i got scared and i just like. profusely apologized for the wait and they were like “well you shouldn’t be alone anyways” and i was like idk sorry i guess

3. do you have kids?

no and i don’t plan to for a long time. i’m literally 19

4. do you use sarcasm a lot?

not really? i’m bad with detecting sarcasm a lot when it’s subtle but when you do the whole fake voice thing, then i get it. idk if it’s just the social anxiety in me or what

5. what sports have you/do you play?

so i dabbled a bit in elementary school and middle school but sports have never really been my thing. i did basketball camps in elementary school but i was not good at it, and then i did volleyball camps from fifth grade to seventh grade. i was part of the volleyball team in seventh grade but i wasn’t good and i wasn’t like already part of their crew so i wasn’t treated very well. but i joined tennis in eighth grade and i loved it and i played it up until my senior year of hs when covid cancelled our season. i was more into music, i did band and played french horn in middle school, and have done choir and theatre from fifth grade all the way up to my senior year.

6. what’s the first thing you notice about people?

i’m good at reading people’s faces. i can tell if someone doesn’t like me even by the twitch of an eyebrow. but usually i notice their eyes and smiles first. windows to the soul, am i right? i’m really bad at eye contact when people are also looking so it’s a bit awkward lol. i also love people’s smiles, and i’m able to match emotions p well

7. scary movies or happy endings?

so i used to be big into happier movies, like i would actively avoid movies that made me feel bad cause i didn’t want to feel like that. but once i took my film class in my second year of college i’ve appreciated movies that make me sad and uncomfortable. there’s so much i missed on by being afraid of feeling bad. i really enjoy psychological horror/thrillers, but i’m not into super gory or jumpscare-filled horror movies. think like full metal jacket, ones that make me feel scared in a tense way rather than just violence, although fmj has both

8. any special talents?

depends on what you call special. i did art for two years for college so i’m not too bad at that. i can sing but i haven’t sung in a non-private manner since high school so i’m pretty rusty. i’m not really that special when i think about it and i’m pretty ordinary. but i can make good coffee i guess.

9. where were you born?

north-eastern wisconsin and i barely have left the state in my life other than week-long vacations to florida as a small child that i barely remember.

10. what are your hobbies?

i still draw in my free time, even though i’m still working through my burnout. i like walking around town and driving for fun, i read and play video games but i’ve kinda been falling out of that. i like animal crossing, minecraft, destiny 2, and f1 21 (the only good one on xbox game pass). but i’m not very good at racing games yet cause i don’t have a wheel, i’m on controller. if you consider my hyperfixations hobbies, im big into f1 rn but in the recent past i’ve been really into total drama island, and mcyt (but i barely talk about that anymore)

11. do you have any pets?

yes! back at home i’ve got two cats named rudy and hermey, they just turned 19 in may and they may sound old but they are still kicking it and oh so sweet. they’re brothers and i’ve had them all my life and i love them. i also have a corgi who’s like 7 and she’s super sweet and bouncy and i love her

12. how tall are you?

5’4.5” ~ 162.5 cm [i tell people i’m 5’5” to fuck w them >:) ]

13. fave subject in school?

i liked art, choir, and english a lot. i actually loved writing papers about things i read and my teachers kept them as “examples” to show future students if they were confused so i take that as a personal W

14. dream job?

if you had asked me this like. 8 months ago i would have told you i would like to be a storyboard illustrator for movies or tv shows and stuff like that. however i am so burned out of everything except mindless sketch studies that i don’t know if i want to do that anymore. i’ve been oddly into engineering lately (literally only because of F1) and even though i didn’t enjoy math as much i’m willing to put it aside and work at it for the sake of a possibility of working for F1 one day.

15. eye color?

green with like. brown highlights. it’s not hazel but it’s also not fully green. i’ve been told i also have blue around the outside which idk about that. it’s like the dark blue ring with green and very little brown highlights.

uhhh i’m a little late to the party for this so idk who’s been tagged and done this already but i’m gonna tag @toffee-and-tandoori , @racingliners , and @tinyweltmeister as well as anyone else who wants to do this :)

[waiting-on-a-dream]

Prisoner 007: Shigeru Rin - Trial 2

General info

Verdict: GUILTY

Physical changes: He's grown out his right strand of hair, reaching down to his chin while the rest of his hairstyle stays the same. His once dark purple strand of hair has been dyed turquoise. He's been diligent in following his usual routine, but the nightmare make it hard for him to sleep well, so eyes bags have formed under his eyes.

Behavioral changes: His whiny and demanding self from the first trial is no more. He's become more withdrawn and quiet, no longer interacting with anyone except Noa who approaches him first. The only request he's made since the beginning of the second trial is for some turquoise dye, which Noa requested for him. Why did he decide to dye his dark strand of hair turquoise? No one knows.

He's been having nightmares and hearing voices, which puts a huge toll on his mental state. He's always very tired now, his typical expression alternating between blank and sullen. His emotions are extremely unstable and he lashes out at his fellow prisoners when he gets angry. His self-imposed isolation isn't helping him either.

Trailer art: Rin stares at you blankly with his hands by his sides, standing surprisingly relaxed. Behind him, an elegant white wooden door with delicate carvings of flowers and flying leaves. The flowers are painted pink and their leaves a dark green, while the flying leaves are red and brown, embodying the themes of spring and autumn.

Voicelines

– Second trial trailer

I can't take it anymore.

– Character voice trailer

What are you doing here?

Cover info

Canon Milgram song cover: I love you (Yeah, he's basically like an angry Mahiru. The lyrics really fit his feelings towards Renho and his guilty verdict. Its fun to imagine him matching Mahiru's cheerful tone as well since its so unlike him.)

DECO*27 song cover: Candy Pattern (Ah yes, unhealthy relationships. Also, his first vd had the word candy in its name too, so that's a nice little detail.)

Non-DECO*27 vocaloid song cover: One of Repetition by Nekomushi (Gentle reminder that this is all based on Rin's perspective, and he really did feel hurt due to whatever Renho did. Haha :D)

Music info

Song title: Fall

Song preview: Life and death are two sides of the same coin. If only I could rewind time back ages ago. Maybe then I would have never gotten to know you. Did you wish the same?

Am I living? Am I really here? Endlessly, I babbled these questions to the void of wisdom. The answer never echoed back. Running and running, but never catching up. How pointless.

MV description: Most of the music video takes place in a park just like the first MV (Rin just loves this park huh?), but new locations like a hospital and Rin's school are featured for a brief second. The song itself is more emotional compared to his first song, and his tone shifts between lots of strong emotions throughout the song.

The MV starts with Rin lying on the floor of a small white room. The walls and floor appear to be made of the same smooth material. The camera rotates from a bird's eye view. Rin's eyes remain closed.

The camera cuts to a scene of a park in summer. The sun is bright and the leaves swaying in the wind are dark green. Children run wild in the playground as adults stand by, owners taking their dogs for a walk, a few old ladies using the outdoor gym equipment. The girl from the first MV steps into sight, younger and beaming cheerfully with a missing front tooth. The camera cuts to a young Rin sitting on a bench. Hs face is quite pale and sunken. Renho reaches out her hand. Rin takes it. She helps him to his feet.

Then a montage of Renho playing at the playground as Rin follows her around. She rocks furiously on the spring riders, barely makes it through the monkey bars, and squeals as she goes down the slide. Rin struggles to keep up, having to catch his breath at some points. He looks nervous as he slowly goes down the slide.

He gets back onto his feet and his surroundings change, the seasons going by like a sped up recording. He grows taller and his outfit changes with the seasons. Five winters pass and the surroundings stop changing on the sixth autumn.

The camera cuts to an older Renho walking along the park path covered with leaves. Rin notices her and runs over. He was slightly shorter than her when they were younger, but now they're the same height. There's a pile of leaves up ahead, and he pushes Renho into it. Some of the leaves fly up into the air when she crashes down. Rin laughs gleefully. Renho looks up at him and laughs as well.

The camera cuts back to the white room. Rin opens his eyes and gets up. A door appears by the wall in front of him. He starts walking towards it. A scene of little Rin walking through an empty hospital hallway, dragging a bag of fluids with him. A scene of an older Rin walking through a crowded school hallway. Back to the white room, where Rin pushes the door open. A crack can be heard from the audio. It reveals a smaller room inside, like a closet. A life-sized porcelain doll lies in the tiny space, limbs positioned in weird angles. It lacks eyes and has a large crack on its head, with purple hair and two dots painted below its right eye socket. A replica of Rin. Rin stares down at it apathetically, then closes the door. End.

Author's notes

The first picrew's only skin tone is more greyish, and the second picrew doesn't even have any mole or eye bag options. So the two pictures of Rin ended up not looking like each other. The second one looks more like Rin's healthier long lost bother or something.

I changed his dark purple strand of hair to turquoise just because it looked nice and definitely not because its so hard to find picrews with two shades of purple hair options.

I don't know where his deep lyrics came from. They came to me just like that, like Rin had possessed me for a while.

Picrews used: - https://picrew.me/en/image_maker/1171011 - https://picrew.me/en/image_maker/1453974

[gennianydots]

The Tag Game

THREE SHIPS 🚢

OTP? Okay, shit. This is hard. But there they are. I have a million more but I think this makes the most sense right now.

💓Pat/Pran

💓Kageyama/Hinata

💓Zuko/Sokka

FIRST SHIP 🚢

I’m really proud to say my first ship was from my sister and it was…. *drumroll please*

💛Kirk/Spock💛

There was a YT Channel called “The Ships Closet” when I was in HS that was all about Kirk/Spock ramblings and I’m not ashamed to say I fell deep into that rabbit hole. 🤷🏻‍♀️

LAST SONG 🎧

🫰🏻Smile, Please from My School President OST, and truly honestly the entire MSP soundtrack

🫰🏻come into my arms by November Ultra

🫰🏻 Sweet but Naughty by Fluke Gawin

🫰🏻Flowers by (ma girl) Miley Cyrus

LAST MOVIE 🍿

I watched Black Panther: Wakanda Forever with my mom and dad. It was beautiful. RIP Chadwick Bozeman 😭

CURRENTLY READING 📖

I am diving right into LGBTQ romance novels HARD lately. I just read Boyfriend Material by Alexis Hall and I loved it. I got his book Something Fabulous at the library (pride and prejudice but make it gay). This year I’m trying to read at least one book per month and I did well in January, I’m just hoping my reading bug comes back. I’m very much so into my watching schedule right now (see below).

CURRENTLY WATCHING 👀

(Hang on, there’s…there’s a lot. Also I included some current commentary for you to laugh at)

BLs

- Moonlight Chicken (Infidelity Turkey starring First Kanaphan, babygirl)

- The Warp Effect (Sex Comedy + time travel, this really shouldn’t work but it does and I’m in love 💖)

- Never Let Me Go

- My School President (aka soft idiots in love, the musical)

- A Tale of A Thousand Stars (juuust started this one)

- I might rewatch The Eclipse (Also starring First Kanaphan, babygirl)

TBH, my stupid goldfish brain consumes and forgets faster than you can say “Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder” so I rewatch my favorite parts of my shows often. I just rewatched all of Bad Buddy though because I’m in love with P’Aof, (my beloved) also Nanon ❤️‍🔥, my actual husband, and his ✨ d i m p l e s ✨

Non-BLs

- The Legend of Vox Machina Season 2

- The Bad Batch Season 2

- The Last of Us (sad)

- Critical Role Campaign 3 (ongoing)

- Lucifer (rewatch)

CURRENTLY CONSUMING 👄

Lemon Cough Drops and water. I had COVID two weeks ago and the post nasal drip is a b*tch!

CURRENTLY CRAVING 🫦

Chicken Rice because Moonlight Chicken.

ONWARD TAGS 🏷️

@gunsatthaphan

@blrambling

@firstkanaphans

@kkumri

@thelaziestmotherfucker

@reallycorking-art

@rythyme

@reineydraws

@mysecretfanmoments

@abstractelysium

No obligation to play! Just fun if you do 🫶🏻😉

[nofr1lls]

I HAVE BEEN TAGGED BT @isomorbism !!!! THANK U!!

r U named after anyone: yeth but I have a couple of names and middle names and such all from family members. yiayia ily 🫶

when was the last time u cried: today actually I had a rlly important convo w ma we sort of had a breakthrough it was good and we don't rly ever talk to eachother like that,,, anyway. nobody asked I cry probably the normal amount honestly maybe once a month or so. usually out of frustration

do u have kids no

do u use sarcasm no. yes. nooooo. shut up

the first thing I notice abt people is whatever facet of them I experience first??? so it differs. idk what else this q means sorry

what's ur eye colour? nondescript non-brown colour. I get super squinty in the sun 👎👎

scary movies or happy endings: errrr where would one b without the other. scary ig.

any special skills? my response to this is always that I'm reaaaaally good at balancing one leg tiptoe like I can just stand there. go me

where were u born? same country I live now. I've only left once

what r ur hobbies ballet, local history, supermarket research, egg peeling, bushwalking, art. blogging and listening 2 tunes also 🤫

do u have any pets does my little(st) brother count. no.

do u/ have u played any sports YES and I'll give U a list rn. I've danced ballet since I was abt 8 and I rlly enjoy it but I have never aimed to get anywhere near professional. its a hobby I do well at the level I'm at. I played tennis all of hs and I was pretty good i was on a few rep teams and played outside school as well I miss it sooooooooo much. soccer and netball I was in teams with my friends sometimes and I sucked ASS but they were fun. in my last years of hs I did track and I'm going to take this opportunity to tell the mutuals that I can run really really fast I'd just like to share that me fact like b4 I ever started training I was the 6th fastest at the 100m in my whole school of over 1200 students including all of the track team kids (I didn't even have spikes 😩) when I was 15 ok just know that abt me and I'll never mention it again it is genuinely one of the things I'm most proud of ok whatever I've wasted my one proper talent bye

how tall r U average height FUCK!!! off

fav school subject prooobs history or art.

dream job dun have one comedian shut up shut up shut up shut up

congrats if U real to the end of this LONG ASS horse-music info post ily forever let's move in 2gether @dacergirl369 @groundbreakingdot872 @acasternaut @ivorysongbird

NO PRESH 2 DO THIS KIND OF TOOK AGES

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary8

gentle annoyance

gently annoyed at people who are talking about the all art is political thing and walking it out how it always is. it's not that i disagree, it's just utterly reductive in both directions of what constitutes politics / art, i guess having to say it at all, as if dividing the goals of art up, naming of the organs and treating them as if it's not a single organism pointed at a cluster of things, made up of clusters directed, is really annoying to see. seeing someone look at a drawing of an anime girl and explain why it's political and the political aspects are that it's a girl eating a hamburger wearing a burger king crown on her head and that it's an advertisement and therefore representative of america's expansionism. this is dull analysis, what is the point, to gather any of the political content in that kind of art, and often in most of this super character oriented slice of life / non-stuff contentless visual art that gets spread all over you have to think about it in terms of what it reveals about the relatively unthinking gaze that produced it, the assumptions it makes of subjects and what it prefers as subjects / objects, what it essentially needs to objectify to exist. if art isn't consciously political, then all a surface reading can offer is the signs it takes up and what those signs mean currently, but since so much art we see now is about producing fantasy (and this being the state of things, also drives us towards another question of why this is and how it works) we need to pull whatever skin is there back and observe what those fantasies are, what the pulse towards that is, and so on. that is the political function of the work, it is a quiet and effective sort of propaganda not for the nation but methods of seeing and alienation. this is why we're all fucked up about ourselves, we meaning people who like anime drawings a lot. i still like the anime drawings. i try to look at ones that are at least more obviously thought through/engaging with the world around them more, more than what i saw in hs / early college at least. it's of course still stuff that's entangled in my 'how i wish i looked' and 'how i wish i felt' and 'what i wish would be done to me' parts, but i don't know if that will go away. so all i have is analysis, and to see that tool used to such dull ends that don't direct all the furries (i don't hate furries but they're kind of super oblivious a lot and that's crazy to me) in this discord to question what is going on in themselves and in the world when they commission their ocs or whatever doing, i dunno, literally anything.

i'll put a drawing by usuno taro here, since i love him so much

/ morumoru06 also

anyways, sorry to be annoying. really this is just me working out my thoughts instead of approaching someone with this and having a pointless 'we both basically agree' but i'd feel misunderstood still. does that make me a cunnnnnt? i dunno.

another thought now, that a lot people might write off a lot of the anime art i like as substanceless like i have, but i would go to bat for it, rather than walk anything i said back. a lot of art that i feel drawn for is drawn by women who are engaging with cultures/ moments and their effects that are ignored in more 'serious' art. stuff that absorbs / uses kawaii culture and things, exploring those realities and emotional states and wishes and desires that whole world confers, it's real, i think it means more than just someone who is able to draw a character from a show well and put them in some really strange graphic environment or do a bunch of aftereffects or whatever. the difference between that ilya kushinov person (sucks) and idk, @mitsunavinilo88 on instagram.

anyways today was super slow or not actually. i did three songs today, 2 new really short ones, and an old one that's not as screamy. actually 2 songs today aren't so screamy, but one is like, as of today written and completed, which is really exciting, like all in one day. i think i'll put it as a b-side to the next single, really happy to have it cuz i was worried about the b-side.

people don't really do b-sides anymore, but idk, i guess i like making songs and just want to offload more junk onto people. the b-side is kind of super arab on radar-y i think, which i'm excited about cuz i love them a lot.

wwhat else.

i did eat the leftovers, i didn't finish my day's working out yet. i guess i can do that now. oh, i drank this powdered apple cider vinegar stuff, it smelled awful but it went down fine, as a health drink thing. they had the best health drinks in japan, they were a little addictive. they also did make me feel like i was in silent hill which is way autistic to say but it's real i felt like i was restoring myself or something. i wonder if stuff in america is just so broadly poisonous that everything else in the world not being like that (wishful thinking to imagine that's the case probably) makes it all feel much better. anyways i'm going to go do stuff and come back and say more maybe.

thinking about showa era cultural radiation and mutation, the way the grotesque was shoved into the underbelly where the authors engaging w/ it were receiving works by bataille and the french surrealists beside (as these things are meant to be seen) cheap and strange reproductions of freakish drawings and nightmare sex-fiction.

anyways i did just workout.

my girlfriend is sick, it seems, as well. she's okay basically, it's a pretty minor cold but her nose is really bothering her. maybe i should tell her that if she has to she should try the humidifier we have.

she could, she seems to think it's a good idea. i had to open these gummies for her w/ a bunch of vitamin c in them. they really were intensely difficult to get open, idk why they were made so difficult to open. it makes me think about kid's toys made to look like food and medicine, plastic bottles incapable of being opened. they are also fairly uncanny gummies, really dark, solid feeling, medication for radiation poisoning.

annie-ways, that's not all that happened today, did almost vc with my friend, or i asked him, but he came back too late. and ofc this isn't every mood but it's what i care to put down for now.

bye bye!

[dex-starr]

So tonight I’m going to write some stuff out just because it’ll help. I doubt anyone will read this so I’m fine just putting it out here.

When I was a much more depressed and non-medicated for ADHD art major I had a lot of bad habits. Obviously most of these stemmed from my state of mind if not all of them, I never realized why I found it to work on something so hard that I said I “liked to do”. I didn’t do anything too complex, I wasn’t an illustrator or was I as talented at drawing as some of the people I know. But I knew my craft when it came to image manipulation and making something interesting. I remember in high school I took a lot of pride in editing skins for the games I was playing, editing signatures for the forums I frequented. Just you know, nerdy shit back then. I got pretty decent at it so I thought “hey why not make this a career ids basically kind of like being a graphic designer”.

So I did. It didn’t go well, I didn’t really deal with the way the academic structure was for being an art major. Every time we had a project I stressed over it and procrastinated because I just couldn’t accomplish my goals in the way I had imagined them in my mind for my work. (This was obviously a bigger issue now). A majorly bad thing I did was take up smoking, but you know I didn’t smoke that much all things considered. A pack or two would last me a fucking year, kind of half-assed that. But unfortunately what I did get a fascination for was fire. Slowly and slowly I started putting it closer and closer to my skin. Mostly on my fingertips cause those are tougher than normal since I played an instrument.

It was around this time that I started to pay more attention to people getting cigarette burns in media. So you know what my little depressed brain thought to do when college wasn’t panning out? Yeah you guessed it, I started figuring out ways to give myself cigarette burns without leaving a mark. You see I had two reasons for this. The first being in HS there were nasty rumors about me committing self-harm and wearing clothes to hide that — idk how I just dressed like a normal post-hardcore skater dude with a wallet chain. My hair was long and at some points in an “emo fringe” because I saw Leon S. Kennedy’s hair and Russell Lissack from Bloc Party rocking the fringe. So I decided I wanted one too. Being able to flip my hair was fun. But this is me sidetracking.

Back to the reality. I self-harmed. I hid it. I didn’t really tell anyone about this save for my ex (didn’t think I’d be calling her my ex but life is full of unpleasant surprises). I never really committed to doing complete contact into my skin though, I wore jeans and did it over that, did it over some ratty clothes on my body and under arms. Nothing that would really show. I was afraid of being judged for scars because I was already judged for who I am and how I look — or at least it feels that way. This brings me to two years back in November, this very month.

I was visiting the girl that had my heart at the time for the longest amount of time, things were nice because we were long distance. Yeah we obviously had our issues but being around each other was more important to me and outweighed what was wrong. It was precious time I didn’t really get because of distance. So, one afternoon while my ex was having her remote dnd session we end up getting hungry. We had just gone to the grocery store recently and had some pizza to warm up in the oven. So she asked me if I could go take care of it and I did. Mind you my dumbass did not ask very important questions about using that particular stove or where the oven mitts were you know things you should ask. Things that I already knew because shit I love frozen pizzas and make them at home all the time. So I have issues because I didn’t put it on a tray aside from what it came with — this was already step one in a step of huge fuck ups. When I get this pizza out I’m distracted as ever because you know — my brain works like that unmedicated. Focus is my big weakpoint. I’m busy thinking how I’m going to cut this pizza up and plate some pieces for my girl to enjoy and whatever stupid joke I’m going to make as I walk back upstairs into her room. See, I was doing this while opening the oven and getting ready to take it out so my focus needed to be on that. When I reach for the pizza I didn’t realize that this particular pizza’s crust was a little on the softer side so the fucker starts to slide off the tray it was on. Me being a dumbass instead of thinking about being careful thinks “fuck I don’t want to make anyone clean this up, I don’t want to look stupid in front of my gf and her folks” so I panic and save the pizza. Hardly any spillage onto the oven except one glob of cheese. Crisis averted. Nope crisis’ not averted I just burned my left forearm it’s a pretty gnarly first degree burn. I see the white skin — showing around my darker skin and I don’t necessarily yell about it I just calmly put the pizza on the counter top make sure everything isn’t a mess and turn the oven off. My mind is racing this whole time but I just quieted it down. I didn’t want to tell my gf’s folks because I felt like an idiot. I just wanted to clean my burn, find something to help it stay cool and go upstairs to get some comfort. I go upstairs and she does get worried — but she doesn’t like tell her group that she’s going to be out for a little bit because I had an accident. So I’m just sitting there letting things finally sink in, finally feeling the pain because the shock wore off. She gets her mom to come up and give me some aloe to put on it consistently. Still in session though. I just remember sitting there thinking of how dejected I felt at not being helped. I don’t expect her to not panic at a situation — especially since I think I matter a lot to this girl at the time. But still just the most intrusive and negative thoughts happened during what seemed like an eternity. I start to panic that my burn might be more serious. I start to remember the times I would give myself “kiddie” burns with those cigarettes and I just start to feel completely and utterly sad. Here I am in the room with the woman I love, but I feel alone at that very moment. The thoughts were just way too strong. In hindsight this moment should have been my wake-up call to where my mindset exactly was at that time. I wasn’t in a healthy place at all even though I was head over heels for this girl. I hadn’t taken care of my mental state in years. I should’ve realized how bad I could unravel at that point in time. I wanted to do badly talk more about what was going on with me at that time but I just grit my teeth and withstood the pain, I cried in front of her which is something I didn’t normally do. It wasn’t because of the pain I was feeling physically though.

I make a lot of mistakes and do a lot of things I know I’m gonna regret unfortunately

[forbidding-souda]

Ok hear me out: SDR2 boys with an s/o who is like the Ultimate Nail Artist, an they either a) do a nail look on themselves for their bf, or b) gives their bf a manicure. This would be AWESOME! ILYSM

SDR2 boys with a SHSL Nail Artist S/O

YES. yes. it's me i'm the nail artist s/o

i actually had acrylics a lot in hs but i decided to finally stop getting them because every time i did i just ripped them off each time. i'm like - addicted to ripping off acrylics like it feels so good and satisfying dni yes it tore my nail beds open but yes them shits recovered in months time.

these are shorter than my stuff usually is and i apologize i am struggling with thinking of specific non bullet point scenes to add.

-Mod Souda

Hajime Hinata

❤ I think he would be opposed to have his nails done at first. If he's still attending school then it would be a definite no - he doesn't want other people to see it. But if he's grown man with his own job and shit then he doesn't care that much about people seeing it - he's matured. I mean - nothing like acrylics of course. But maybe if you want to do stars on his nail beds or a light pink color then it would be fine. He loves it when you hold his hand for minutes on end. The whole hand touching is super his-type-of-affection.

"Don't you love it?" You ask, intertwining your fingers with him, something that catches him off guard - his nails are still drying!

"I do." His voice is a big more monotone than you intended it to be, but the kind words still make you smile. You glance at his nails once more (like you've done one million times in the last hour) before kissing each of his knuckles.

You chuckle. "So pretty, Hajime."

Your eyes meet his and you're surprised about how flustered he looks.

❤ He's powerless against you if you beg to paint his nails.

❤ If the two of you are still attending Hope's Peak and one of his classmates asks to see his painted nails he will say no and walk away all embarrassed.

❤ He likes looking at them all the time, though. He'll just stare down at his nails and get butterflies thinking about you.

.

Nagito Komaeda

❤ He slays. Whatever you want to practice on him, he'll allow it. He can get you touching up on his hands for hours at a time and he gets a cool nail thing out of it? Excellent. No con. Do you wanna give him acrylics? That's fine - any color and any shape and even length. He likes the coffin shaped ones the best. With him you mostly practice stiletto - even though you don't really need practice you still like to make sure you're still on top of your game.

❤ You can hear it - the click clack from even the other room. It makes you press your face into your hands. Maybe you shouldn't have given him acrylics.

❤ Despair Komaeda - I can imagine him bragging to Junko about having better nails than her lmfao.

❤ He clacks his acylics around and taps them against stuff LMFAO.

❤ Will just sit there wiggling his fingers and listening to the sound of his acrylics hitting each other.

❤ He stops wearing socks because they're such a bother to put on with the long nails.

❤ When he types on his phone it always makes him smile with amusement.

.

Teruteru Hanamura

❤ Can't do the nails. They'll stress him out too much work-wise. If it were his decision, he would love to have nails. He thinks they look so pretty and they're especially special coming from you. But he needs sanitary hands to be a cook, and he isn't too content with always having gloves in the workplace when that can easily be avoided anyway - he'd be worried about the nail polish chipping off. And if he had to choose acrylic shapes then he would have them be oval or almond - they'd match his finger shape. Even though he won't let you do the cool art, you can still give him a very subtle manicure just for nail health.

❤ You doing his nails means he gets to sit close to you.

❤ You find he really likes just looking at your face - which is mostly because he still can't believe somebody as beautiful (and talented) as you genuinely likes him.

❤ But literally like he does not stop looking directly at you and it gets a little uncomfortable once you actually notice.

.

Nekomaru Nidai

❤ Finds your art absolutely beautiful. When he's talking about you he always calls you an artist. Which, you are, but people always assume you're a painter or a musician. Nail art is the last thing that comes to their minds. But when he shows them pictures of all the collections you have - they see what he means. It is a masterpiece. Sometimes you wear these for yourself, to which he beckons you over so his teammates can see your glamour.

❤ He literally brags about you all the time like he is so prideful to be with you.

❤ He's never like "I chose a good one" but instead "a good one choose me".

❤ See the two of you are like a salon smh you do nails and he does massages.

❤ Ya'll can quid pro quo.

❤ And also Akane is going to be literally in love with you and think you are perfect for Nekomaru.

❤ She's going to force him to let you do his nails.

.

Kazuichi Souda

❤ He is hesitant to compliment it - but god does he think it's beautiful. Sometimes he gets in his own head about manliness and the 'proper' way to act. Even though there's no evidence to back it up, his mind convinces him that if he compliments your nails that you'll think he's too feminine, or think that he's being annoying. Throughout these bad thoughts, he still sits by your side and watches you do art. When it comes to customers, he's not very social, instead just nervously bouncing his knee while he stares down at their hands.

❤ You'll finally just offer him to sit in the client's chair and let you take a look at his nails.

❤ He's surprised at how with a quick glance you can immediately know what he does with his hands.

❤ ^ It's almost the same with how he works with cars - one long look and he can diagnose pretty easily.

❤ Once he gets used to having his nails painted (and realizing like no one cares other than him) then he'll like a touch up once a week, thank you.

❤ He takes care of his nails a lot better now that he's with you.

❤ Whenever he fucks up his nails on something mechanical he will get very sad.

❤ Souda has five letters and his hands have five fingers just saying.

.

Gundham Tanaka

❤ All your gloomy works are his favorite. He thinks of it as you spreading the occult. To him, all the colors you use have a more complex meaning - and the animals are symbolism of some kind. If the client wants pastel colors he try to convince you to paint some sort of thing like a rabbit on it to symbolize lust and sacrifices. His favorite art of yours is one of a graveyard with the moon in the air. It was so melancholic yet so beautiful - he almost wanted it on his own nails.

❤ He asks you every day to see the work that you did - he wants to see pictures so after ever job, you take a picture of the nails and save it in a folder of "Gundham hasn't seen these one yet."

❤ ^ When you show him I can imagine him being like "good... good.. yess... excellent."

❤ He won't personally want his nails to be painted all the time because he's worried the animals might accidentally ingest it.

❤ Wants to know if you'll do animal nails.

.

Twogami

❤ He likes that thing - it's individualistic. It makes you more special compared to everybody else, and he admires that about you: how unique you are. Everything you do is unique. Even each nail look - they never look the same. They're irreplaceable, just like you. You're so consistent with your ability yet so unpredictable, it's a security but also a thrill. He couldn't imagine choosing to be with anybody else other than you.

❤ I imagine he would not let you do his nails because it'll mess up his whole perception of the person who he's trying to be.

❤ But once he finally stops trying to pretend to be other people, he's going to allow himself to have that individuality.

❤ ^ Probably likes white tips. Or polka dots.

.

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu

❤ Everything with stripes is his favorite. He loves the look of stripes no matter what color they are (but of course, his favorite color of stripes is white). Basing colors off of him is very easy, he likes wearing the same suit everyday, so when you come home with your nails matching his color scheme, he notices immediately. He takes your hands into his own and kisses your knuckles. He can be so affectionate when you flatter him enough.

❤ Takes no shit from other people if they to make fun of his nails. He will get Peko to beat the shit out of them.

❤ Also you and Peko can bond over you doing her nails! Fuyuhiko insists.

❤ Him and her can get matching nails.

❤ Omg imagine if his clan got a specific nail look to identity each other.

[davidjrpalos]

hi, i just found your art and i love it! may i ask a stupid question? did you go to art school or did you teach yourself?? if self taught, do you have any advice? im a self taught artist and i want to get better lmao. i just love how beautiful your work is, very inspiring!

Thank you!! and it’s not stupid! I didn’t go to art school or anything (I did take the elective art classes late in middle school and in early hs too but I’d been drawing since before then and I took those as a requirement to be able to take painting, which I never ended up doing though) so I’d consider myself self taught.

Ok this ended up being long so hopefully it’s not super overwhelming but I hope it helps!

so what has helped me a lot has been thinking about my subject in a 3D sense, I usually try to understand why whatever I’m drawing is structured the way it is. So usually w my portraits I’ll think about the skull underneath or I’ll think about parts you can’t see (like an ear or a nostril if they’re turned slightly etc) on the reference image and it helps me make sense of what I’m seeing.

also drawing parts in relation to another helps a Lot, so I’d line up like the edge of an eye to the corner of the mouth and draw a bunch of lines connecting parts like that to make sure everything is properly distanced and that helps a lot with keeping proper proportions! (you can still do this with non portraits though, looking at negative space is a game changer)

starting sketches w vague shapes and then slowly going more into detail also helps and it’s less daunting than thinking your first few marks need to already be accurate and defined.

for the mental part of it I think understanding every time you draw it doesn’t have to be a Piece will help put the pressure off and it allows u to not be worried about mistakes. (It also makes room for experimentation) Also I used to be very caught up in being upset how my art style isn’t as good as other people’s but realizing no one’s art will ever look like anyone else’s (even if they’re copying) helped me value my work and see it as it’s own entity that doesn’t need to be critically compared to anyone else’s, that’s also just not how it works anyway. that also allowed me to grow quicker when I was able to push mental barriers like that away and work on what I enjoy about making art.

Also artblock is a thing that happens to everyone, I either accept I’m gonna make stuff I don’t like for a while or if I straight up have no inspiration then I need to distract myself in the meantime. Getting into a new or revisiting an old medium does help let you think differently about your art and could help you get out of artblock too though. also drawing a lot of whatever you like does so much for improvement bc then it’s just lots of practice so don’t feel weird ab being obsessed w something or like going through a phase bc it all helps you improve anyway plus you’re spending time on stuff you enjoy too.

Ok ik this ended up being a lot lol but these are some things i feel like have been very important to me as an artist, a lot of these are things I actively use or have to remind myself of still. I also didn’t wanna just be vague like ‘keep going, practice a lot! Don’t compare urself!’ etc. so I hope this was useful & feel free to ask more if you have any questions later too!

[anakinthetrashking]

the batkids as things I did in school

Dick:

take dance class and be friends with everyone even though there was some weird infighting going on between everyone. forget to do the assignment to make up a dance ourselves, just improv'd it and got a good grade, somehow. had the most fun slipping down the hallways in socks.

halfway through the year asked to have a free period instead of ASL 3, bc the teacher wasn't teaching us anything or even keeping it interesting so I spent the whole afternoon in Physics class instead.

went all out for 80s day during Spirit Week but turns out no one else did. got a lot of weird looks and concerned questions that day. one kid said I looked like a jumpscare. thanks dude.

missed more than half of my statistics classes but was still getting a better grade than the seniors I sat near. 😭

Barbara:

got really angry when the Pre-AP Bio teacher disnt know whether Carbon was 6 or 8 on the Periodic Table. 14yr old me thought that it was extremely important to know as a science teacher. failed the first 6wks, got moved to a regular bio class, was late everyday but the teacher still loved me. found and identified a tumor in the stomach of the pig we dissected in class. Can still sing the entire DNA song(to the tune of I Want it That Way) word for word over 10yrs later. Still gets stuck in my head sometimes.

kept getting told off in sewing class bc we weren't supposed to hold the pins in our mouth while sewing bc it's dangerous if we accidentally swallow them but that's what I was used to doing at home.

Jason:

stunned the much older kids in my class playing Hangman by looking up and immediately guessing "Labyrinth" from the few letters that everyone else had guessed (one of them looked up what the hardest word was for the game and that was it. it would have been if I wasn't so obsessed with Phantom of the Opera and the David Bowie Labyrinth movie at that point in time)

read all of the short stories in that years English textbook within the first month of school every year

Cass:

smile at people (esp teachers) so wide that id have to close my eyes, and then immediately dropping the smile. (it gave me a break from eye contact and trying to figure out what expression I "should" have in that moment)

Everytime I joyfully played in the rain during lunch and then froze my butt off during afternoon classes in the AC.

also the times I was late for afternoon class bc I was overjoyed at seeing snow.

Tim:

was too overwhelmed to actually do the required amount of weekly reading so I just picked classic books I had already read and picked a random place to put the bookmark and easily answered the teachers questions on what I was "reading"

be a "gifted" student so I was put in the fast track math class but was too anxious to deal with that teacher's incessant yelling at the students so I begged them to put me in a different class. they put me in a regular paced class and told me to just go ahead and do the fast track by myself at my own pace. got distracted and never did the work. switched schools the next year and got put in the next math up and totally regretted it but was in too deep to back out.

dropped out of public school in 11th grade to have a mental breakdown ✌️ eventually finished HS later through online classes and stuff.

Steph:

get hooked on Kpop bc the one friend I had made moved away and now I was stuck with her friends at lunch without much of anything in common so we had to make something.

fell asleep in class bc I was awake all night watching kdramas.

had to do a report on a European country and then got overly attached to the country of Moldova...

Duke:

only got detention twice in all of the years of school. once for being late all the time and once for not turning in my homework on time(the teach didn't want to give me detention but she threatened everyone with it and it was only fair)

Always skipped Pep Rallys and hung out in the Orchestra room instead. also ate lunch in one of the empty practice rooms behind the band hall with friends bc we could :)

got overly excited about black hole radiation and decided to ask my then science teacher about it and was SUPER disappointed when she didn't know anything about it (despite it being a fairly new concept at the time and she only taught middle school non-specific science)

Damian:

got put in theatre class to fill an empty spot on my schedule, enjoyed it IMMENSELY, got assigned "weirdo kid" role by the teacher for the end of year play. really went all out to play up the weirdo role. probably could have just been myself and it would've been enough.

managed to get into a Ceramics class without taking an applicable basic art credit first. the teacher thought it was weird but she didn't kick me out!

all three times I was asked out I turned them down brutally because I didn't really understand social convention. whoops. sorry dudes.

accidentally offended someone when I said that Art 1 was easy :/ (I think they thought I was saying art in general was easy, which. no. I was taking Art 1 as an online class and it was all the basic stuff about art I had learned from my older sis over the years)

[riverdale-retread]

Riverdale S5 E8 Lock & Key

5 Things I loved/ 3 Things to Consider

I loved this:

1. THE KEY PARTY was excellent and ultra high stratospheric camp, that you can only appreciate if you really know the show.  Achieving this tone- ‘this isn’t how things are but wouldn’t it be so amusing if it was?’ -  is very difficult,  and I felt rewarded for the close attention I’ve paid to the show.   Further, at this sex party they have a heavily pregnant lady, and the only person who is in any way apprehensive that he might get paired with her is Reggie - everyone else is like, It’s fine.  And also? The majority of the invitees have ALREADY had sex with each other, and almost all of them are also currently cohabitants and/or coworkers and/or doing joint projects, in various states of married, long-term relationship, casual hookup and courting.  Just, absolute catnip I tell you!  

Sidebar: Again CHADWICK FUCKING GECKO being SANE, and objecting to Veronica drawing Archie’s key with - NOT WITH YOUR EX.   I mean, why does this always happen to me??? Why am I *Chad*?

2.  I loved Betty in this episode. Just fell in love with her like I am flippin’ Jughead.  

 #1:  Betty  is so very sexy.  Wow I was so not ready.  Her in the FBI T shirt & him in fire fighter gear! Yeah it’s good looking people in actual Halloween costumes, but what makes it work is Betty's reaction -  electrified, then amused and looking forward to a good time.  Love this for grown Betty.

 #2:  Betty is so very wounded and vulnerable, and by her estimation lovers / boyfriends will never stand by her, but friends will. I love me a character in romantic anguish.  

And related, #3, and yes, this may be wishful thinking, but there are hints that Betty actually feels the impact of what she did to Jughead and Veronica in her Senior year.  Why else would Betty think that engaging in an actual adult romantic relationship with Archie for real will cause the light to go out and the haven bubble to collapse?   Oh Betty.   She’s so accepting about Archie abandoning her immediately after she told him she wasn’t mentally/emotionally well because she feels both ruined and like a ruinous force.

Finally #4, the kindness and care Betty shows to her mother, who does not deserve it, made me respect her a lot.

Sidebar to give Archie Andrews a Demerit:  Betty has a single emotion in front of Archie (waking up from a trauma nightmare) and Archie (who woke up from a trauma nightmare first thing after the time jump) is just unwilling or unable to provide the necessary commitment. He in fact decides RIGHT THEN that Betty needing extra support (of the kind he needs, in fact) means Veronica is the answer. (Archie, please redeem yourself. Tell me what’s happening with you soon).

3. The only reason the high camp works though is because there’s a grounding in reality, with believable human emotions providing a solid foundation, and boy this episode really delivered!  

The  shaky breath Jughead lets out after he says Billy (character in the novel he’s teaching) might be crazy right after he sees MOTHMAN.  Love this detail.  The shame and pain Jughead goes through, writhing with his whole little face, while confessing that he’d been a reckless drug user and drinker to Tabitha, who sweetly feels some of that pain with him, was heartrending.  

The ‘you are a jackass’ face that Archie makes at Chad while also SMILING (because that is how he looks handsomest)  in reaction to Chad dude-bro-ing him with ‘females’ and ‘podunk town,’ without even bothering to reply to his dickhead question, is wonderful. 

And most heartbreaking -  Fangs’ laughter that presages a dawning realization that Kevin really intends to implode (his words) their whole life and his gentle tone in trying to figure out what the hell his boyfriend is doing was very upsetting and wonderful.  Apparently, over the past 8 years,  Fangs has been trying to give Kevin everything he wanted - monogamy, non monogamy, the baby, the marriage - only to have it go up in smoke.

4.  Now that the characters are older, they can meet a wider array of adults and I really appreciate this - the expansion of the world of the show.  Who knows if she appears again, but I very much liked this anthropology professor who has segued into creating a support group for the disturbed people she meets while she pursues her very esoteric interest in alien encounters.  Minerva the campy lesbian art collector who wants an Original Cheryl Blossom and Rick the gay trucker who is like, the most sexually easy going man in the history of humanity are really fun additions too.

5.  And this last one is going to sound mean spirited but I love what is happening to Alice Cooper.  She was so horrendous and monstrous to both her daughters -  I mean between Betty and Polly it’s really hard to tell who had it harder from Alice - and she is having to atone for the damage she did to her smart, resilient girls by the peril that Polly is now in.  Polly, despite being born in Riverdale, could’ve been another Betty in terms of accomplishment -  academic and career - but Alice just bashed her head in, basically, and now look where we are.  So, suffer for your sins, Alice Cooper.

3 Things to Think About

a) Toni has “a medical condition that makes it harder for her to get pregnant the older she gets.”  This is called BEING A HOMO SAPIEN.  I was so amused by this that I actually looked up the production notes and this episode was written by a woman (!) and directed by another woman (!!) and the scene is acted out by two women (!!!) one of whom was actually pregnant at the time in real life (!!!!) so now I’m like, Wait, is Cheryl…an immortal?  Is Cheryl somehow not 100% homo-sapien and that’s why Toni says this?

b) I gathered yet more evidence that Archie is a Riverdale-HS-Sexual.  Archie is in the teacher lounge at Riverdale High  talking remodelling plans with Veronica, who says she needs big changes, and he immediately switches into Let’s Fuck mode.   When Jughead innocently asks what the blueprints are for, Archie TOTALLY acts  like he got cockblocked.

c) The long pointy-nailed manicures on the lesbian couple’s fingers REALLY bother me.  More than 20-something almost-perfect-SAT scorers Cheryl and Toni not understanding that human fertility wanes with age.  I will just say that.